sometimes I just wish my friends liked me the way other people's seem to

In light of the new Ahsoka show pissing me off, I have decided that---at some point after I finish up mitptt and get going again on bcc---I'm going to write a spite fic.

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In said spite fic, Ahsoka---at the age and time she is in the Ahsoka show---goes back in time to the Prequel Era, where her younger self discovers her.

Now, it's obvious that older Ahsoka- (who we'll call O!Ahsoka) -is younger Ahsoka- (who we'll call Y!Ahsoka) -at a different age, so O!Ahsoka can't really lie her way out of being discovered. After that becomes obvious to her, O!Ahsoka figures- "Oh the Force must've sent me back in time so I could save myself and Anakin from the stupid dogmatic Jedi!" -and decides to do just that.

Then, after O!Ahsoka basically treats the other Jedi- (barring herself and Anakin, and maybe Plo) -like shit, shits all over the Order and their practices, and just generally acts like an ass about everything and shows a surprising amount of ignorance---Y!Ahsoka is like- "What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you forgotten that these people are our family? Have you forgotten how the Force works? Have you forgotten why we practice certain things? What the hell?"

So O!Ahsoka tells her everything---all of her opinions on why the Jedi and especially the Council are bad/hypocritical/whatever/etc, everything that happened in The Wrong Jedi arc, how Obi-Wan was apparently "playing politics" and "betrayed her" or whatever, everything Anakin did and what that lead to, how Anakin's actions are apparently the Jedi's fault, etc---in hopes that hearing all of that will turn Y!Ahsoka against the Jedi and make her help her "save Anakin from them."

Cue Y!Ahsoka going off.

Y!Ahsoka absolutely rips O!Ahsoka and her arguments to shreds---defending her fellow Jedi and their beliefs, both through logical emotional arguments, and just expressing her shock that O!Ahsoka could so easily forget all that they were taught and be so fucking callous about the death of their family.

Y!Ahsoka then uses the information that O!Ahsoka has given her to help her fellow Jedi stop Anakin from fucking everything up and killing them all---as well as take out Palpatine and win the war.

All the while also having an identity crisis because- "how could she turn into such an asshole???" -but everyone, particularly Obi-Wan, helps her through that.

Meanwhile O!Ahsoka has to deal with the fact that she actually is wrong and an asshole, and also work out her own issues in a healthy way instead of just ignoring them, absolving Anakin of any agency, and blaming the Jedi.

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This fic will also be full of a healthy dose of Rex finding out what Anakin makes him and his brothers do---how easily he was ready to cast them aside---and, after dealing with all of the bullshit that Anakin has been pulling throughout the war, he decides that he's just fucking done with him.

He just walks away from him, decides that he's not putting up with any of this anymore.

In a similar vein, I'm thinking about Padme also learning about this stuff and---paired with Anakin's now super erratic and crazy behavior, plus they've just recently "made up" from the Clovis stuff---she does some serious thinking and finally sees Anakin for what he is, and makes the decision to leave him because she hates the person she's become by being with him.

The Rewatch, pt4

Feel free to message or comment any of your own thoughts/opinions!

Season 2, episode 7

All adults in the vicinity crossing their arms as soon as Stiles opens his mouth to say something stupid 

“No stiles!” Rip all of his Stiles privileges 

I have to assume that kanima!Jackson assaulted Allison because Matt is into her, which is a whole new level of creepy because oh god that means Matt can control the kanima more than just “hey kill that guy”, like this suggests it sort of takes on Matt’s emotions and shit

Stiles knows Jackson’s birthday

Uhhhh missed the rest of the episode because I was drawing, whoops

Just Peter traumatising Lydia, it’s fine

Season 2, episode 8

I always love Stiles and his father interacting tbh, they very much know how to deal with each other’s bullshit a lot of the time and I appreciate it. Seeing them work on a case together is wonderful

Again, this scene between Stiles and his dad about him losing his sheriff position is actually heartbreaking, goddamn 

Ah, the first hints of Scott/Isaac 

Reminder that Jackson is canonically queer

Also yesssssssssss magic Stiles! That’s my boyyyyyy! I need to write witch Stiles again

Stiles being pack mum will continue to always be one of my favourite tropes and this is just reminding me that I want to rewrite my 10 chapter fic about human alpha Stiles

Deaton saying the teenagers are “more capable than you think” is a goddamn terrible take, they need so much help. Like yeah they can get out of this alive, but your job as emissary/mentor/adult/whatever is to help reduce their trauma

Season 2, episode 9

I feel like the only time I ever really see Lydia’s trauma mentioned in fics is like in passing about why she hates Peter, but maybe I just don’t read enough fics about Lydia

Also I don’t mean this in a weird way, but I really like the sound of Lydia’s scream. Sometimes shows just use bad screams and it’s a tragedy, but the scream they use for Lydia is brilliant 

“Doesn’t being a part of your pack mean no more secrets” I can’t tell if that’s Scott being hypocritical or manipulative but wow

Even though I don’t like Allison’s mother, it still breaks my heart to see her try to talk to Allison before she takes her own life, and Allison doesn’t know so she just brushes her off

Stiles kept in touch with the drag queens which is actually amazing information 

Again! Stiles and his father! Making me cry! I mean this time it’s a hallucination but goddamn 

Chris was killing his wife, I was thinking about how strong his forearms looked

I’m really interested to know how in the world Peter knew that Lydia was immune/a banshee, and that she’d be able to bring him back

Season 2, episode 10

Someone needs to explain this part to me. Like I literally don’t understand the order of events of Matt and the kanima bonding and Isaac’s dad dying. Like did Jackson kill him before they bonded, and if so why didn’t he bond with Isaac instead? Or did he somehow bond with Matt before killing Isaac’s dad, even though this flashback clearly shows them bonding after the fact?

Please someone give me an explanation 

“Scott I trust” that is such a sad line

Hhhhhhh wish people would stop manipulating Allison, and can we get some better communication over here please!

Okay Stiles’ dad shouting Scott’s name first when he hears a gunshot kinda hurts guys

I do appreciate that this show doesn’t half ass their villain character motivations. Sometimes I see villains and I have literally no idea why they do what they do, but not this guy

Okay clearly this show enjoys killing their villains in the same way twice, like they burned Peter twice, and now they’re drowning Matt twice

Season 2, episode 11

Stiles (Dylan O’Brien) is so pretty (and clearly this cameraman knew it)

Isaac coming into the vet clinic like a lost pup is really adorable, and him crying after taking the dog’s pain away 🥺

Peter you manipulative son of a bitch, stop looking so good

Oh boy Allison going off the rails and hunting Erica and Boyd, I wish she’d go feral in the other direction and shoot Gerard

Stiles winning the game, and having this amazing moment and having something to be proud of, and then immediately getting kidnapped is kinda fucked up and I appreciate it

Season 2, episode 12

As always, give me pack mum Stiles or give me death

And as always, Stiles never shutting his mouth during interrogations and fights is my favourite thing to see. Also would be into a Stargent or Stallison fic where one of them realises Stiles is down in the basement and they step in

Why does Stiles look so good with that blood on his face

And that no one! No one knows! That Gerard beat Stiles up! As far as we see, he doesn’t tell anyone about it!!!

I honestly appreciate that Chris goes to the side of the werewolves before Allison does, I think it’s very fun and cool

And here it is, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Scott using Derek to kill Gerard. He’s just so uncaring about the fact that he lied to everyone about what was happening, planned to violate Derek’s autonomy and had planned to murder Gerard, like it’s so weird to see him so nonchalant about it 

Erica and Boyd just can’t catch a break

I think there are definitely parts of this season that I enjoy more than the first, and parts I enjoy less. I love the characters they introduce (Isaac, Erica and Boyd) and I love the exploration of Allison’s character, and Stiles’ relationship with his dad. I hate Gerard (which is a good thing), and god bless Chris coming round to the winning side (even though technically he went through this same thing last season, of realising his family member must be stopped before his daughter gets hurt).

I do wish the ending was different, and that Scott went about defeating Gerard in a different way. Or at least for him to show any empathy? He just feels so callous and uncaring as he uses Derek and as Gerard dies and I don’t know if it’s bad acting or bad writing or maybe even my misunderstanding of his character, but I feel like that just doesn’t fit him. 

Also maybe this is just me, but I kinda wish that Matt wasn’t major stalking Allison. It feels a little like an unnecessary cherry on top, or maybe I’m just not thinking hard enough about what it added to the season.

31, 34, and 48

31. Is there any ship that you like more than the characters in it?

Yes. Kiyomondo for me. I don’t care for Kiyotaka or Mondo, either one. But their relationship is so cute! My favorite fucking relationship dynamic is “dude-bro best friends to lovers.” I love stupid idiot boys falling in love and being best friends. It’s so wholesome and cute. I like their relationship way better than I like either of them as characters. The same goes for Mahiyoko, but not to the same extent. I dislike both Mahiru and Hiyoko, but I think their relationship is cute. Still, I don’t fawn over it the way I do over “dumb best friends fall in love with each other”. 

34. Are there characters you feel could be written better?

Abso-fucking-lutely. There are characters I hate that are well-written, like Byakuya and Himiko. Their writing is fine, I just don’t like their personalities. There are some characters that I think could be written better, like Teruteru and Yasuhiro, but I don’t think they need to be. They’re not meant to be important or deep characters. They accomplish their roles in the story with the amount of writing they have, and it doesn’t break the narrative for them not to be written better. 

But there are some characters that I hate because their writing is just absolute fucking garbage. The writing for these characters is such trash that it completely ruins the story surrounding them. It’s offensive and infuriating and it makes no god damn sense. These characters are: Chiaki, Gundham, Junko, Maki, and Shuichi. Chiaki and Maki are the biggest Mary-Sues I’ve ever seen. They’re so annoyingly shoved down your throat. We’re just forced to believe that they’re good and perfect without even being given a single reason to like them as people. Chiaki is nothing but otaku-bait with no personality, and Maki is an emo edgelord OC. They’re not interesting. Their interactions with the characters and story, and the way other characters feel about them, is forced and doesn’t make sense, but yet the story has to revolve around them anyway. Any time either of them is in a scene, it gets ruined. Chiaki could’ve been an exploration about the ethics of a living AI, but instead she’s just “oooh I have boobies and I play games! Look at me! I’m cute and I like video games! Kitty ears uwu!” and Maki could’ve gone through character development of learning to open up and care for her classmates, but instead she’s just “I like Kaito for no reason and I hate everyone else! In fact I’m gonna turn into an obsessive yandere and kill everyone else including Shuichi over this guy that I beat up all the time!” Junko and Shuichi I’ve already explained how they’re badly written. To summarize, Junko has no motives and her personality makes no sense, and Shuichi ends up devolving into a hypocritical snob on a moral high-horse. Being the main villain without motives completely erases the impact of Junko’s villainy. It’s just confusing. Shuichi becomes an insufferable main character who is incapable of having relationships or inspiring empathy for other characters. It’s infuriating to watch him be such a hypocrite. Just give Junko motives and have Shuichi make friends with (gasp! Shock!) people who aren’t just Kaito and Maki. And Gundham? Gundham was a huge fucking miss all-around. He’s just a mistake. You can’t understand a thing that he says, which means you can’t get to know him as a character. He has no personality, and his likes/dislikes/desires don’t match his actions or his talent. He should’ve been the Ultimate Dungeon Master or something, not the Ultimate Breeder. His personality has nothing to do with his talent. It feels so fake and forced. His personality has no reason to be the way that it is. Not that you could ever tell that anyway, since it’s impossible to have a real conversation with this character. He really feels like “um we’re out of personalities. What do we do now? Let’s just stick something stupid on this guy randomly.” 

48. Which character do you think has the worst-written backstory?

To be honest, most of them. Danganronpa is terrible at writing backstories! They don’t understand how humans and motives work, or how to inspire empathy for characters. But the contenders for the worst are: Nagito, Mikan, Junko, and Maki. Nagito and Mikan’s backstories are waaaay too over-the-top tragic. It’s like a comedy at that point. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin” kind of thing. It’s unbelievable. It doesn’t make me feel bad for them; it makes me cringe at the bad writing. Junko has absolutely no backstory, and that makes no fucking sense. She does things that are so horrible. They need an explanation. Nobody just does shit like that because they were born that way. And Maki’s backstory is just...so god damn annoying. It’s even more tragic than Mikan and Nagito’s combined. It’s like they’re literally piling every fucking tragic backstory trope into a checklist to make sure she is the most emo and edgy OC of all time. It’s like something you’d find on Wattpad, no joke. It’s wayyyy too fucking tragic and also impossible. Mikan’s and Nagito’s are pretty far-fetched, but Maki’s is literally unbelievable and fucking ridiculous. Also, Maki’s is used as an excuse for her bad behavior and evilness. “You can’t hate Maki for being a serial killer and a callous bitch, because she had a sad backstory!!” I can and I absolutely fucking will. The golden rule of backstories is that they’re meant to explain a character’s actions, not excuse them. Nagito and Mikan’s stories are sad, but they aim to explain how they act. They are not shoved down your throat for the express purpose of forcing you to forgive this character for being awful at every turn. That’s why Maki’s is the most irritating. You have to hear her stupid story if you play the game. Nagito and Mikan’s are optional through their free-time events. You only have to know if you want to. They don’t put you through it to try and force you to like their shitty Mary Sue. 

Volume 7, Episode 4: Pomps & Circumstances

Well, that was... an episode. I honestly had difficulty writing this review and needed a few days to think things through properly, especially with the ending and some important characters coming back. So, let’s just get into it!

The biggest thing that jumped out to me was the Monochrome food. I loved it, Monochrome is one of my biggest OTPS, and the small details during that scene with Jacques and Weiss, as well as the rest of her team’s reactions, they were just so good. Ruby seemed confused and upset, Yang was yangry, but Blake looked furious. She knows what it’s like to be in Weiss’ shoes, and the hand holding just shows that she’s there for Weiss, as well as the rest of the team.

Adding onto Ruby’s small expression changes with Weiss’ counter to Jacques. She’s sad when Weiss says they’re not friends, likely because not only is this coming off the revelation that Harriet doesn’t see her team as friends, but reminds her of her and Weiss’ less than great start in Beacon. Weiss wasn’t there to make friends, and she and Ruby clearly didn’t get along, so hearing her say that after everything they went through scared Ruby.

But that’s not what Weiss meant. Ruby isn’t her friend, because she’s her family. With that last bit, Ruby’s expression completely changes to happiness because Weiss is acknowledging that, yes, Ruby is not only a teammate, a partner, and a friend, but she’s Weiss’ family.

They’re all Weiss’ family now, and for someone who actually has the biggest family of the girls and yet felt the loneliest, that seemed like the best thing for Weiss at that moment. Jacques may be her father, but he’s not family. 

It definitely makes up for the ballsup with Weiss’ “White Guilt” complex in the last episode that I really hated, and I’m just glad for more interactions between the girls that aren’t partners.

On top of that, the way Team RWBY is played off of the Ace Ops following Harriet’s confession is interesting. While I’ll note something that I didn’t quite like later on, I did enjoy that how Ruby views her team and how Harriet views her team sets the two kingdoms apart nicely. Ozpin believed in working together, that your partner was someone you would have to trust and work with, along with your team, for the four years they were at Beacon, and even after they graduate.

He encouraged the girls to be children, to have fun and not worry about the war that was going on in the shadows, and it’s clear that above all else, he wanted the teams to be ones that work together not only professionally, but emotionally as well. It fits into not only his personality, but his whole goal. He wants everyone to be united and that starts with the students under his care.

James is more practical and professional. He treats Ozpin and Glynda like close friends, and he’s nice enough to Ruby and the other students, but he makes no mistake in letting them know that he’s the general and that he’s not their friend. He pushes for the Academy to funnel into the military, and isn’t against Atlas’ push for unity and conformity regardless of what the individual might want.

It’s reflected in their teachings. While Ozpin wants his students to remain kids and not worry, Ironwood already pushed for his students to be ready for war, regardless of whether they’re still children or not. He told Penny in the earlier volumes that they were no longer at a time of peace, and that she had to be ready, and he was the most clinical and professional when telling Pyrrha their plan to take Amber’s remaining maiden powers. He isn’t as callous as Qrow, but he doesn’t try to soften the blow or show disapproval to the plan like Glynda and Ozpin.

So while Team RWBY have come to see their team as family that’s gotten stronger because of all the hardships they’ve been through, the Ace Ops just see it as part of the job. They’re a team, they are supposed to protect and fight alongside each other, but that doesn’t mean they’re family. Yet it’s interesting that the rookie of the group, Marrow, doesn’t seem to share that sentiment. It could be that he hasn’t been in the mindset for very long or his personality just doesn’t work with that ideal, but we’ll have to wait and see if anything comes of it.

The only downside I have to it is that it would’ve driven it home better if the Ace Ops didn’t act so chummy with each other. I never would’ve thought Harriet didn’t consider her team friends from her interactions with Marrow last episode, with teasing him over the fact that they have to “babysit” him. Or how close Vine and Elm seem to be. It just would’ve helped if they stayed professional with each other to counteract how close and personal with each other Team RWBYJNR are.

Moving onto the scene at Amity Arena, it was... there. I didn’t hate it, I didn’t like it. I’m just... meh.

I did like that the group were interacting with each other outside of not only their partners, but their teams. It was nice to see Yang joking around with Penny, or that Weiss was chatting with Ren before Nora came in. It makes them actually feel like friends that want to talk to each other, rather than having to be in the same scene because they’re the protagonists. However, I got annoyed because no one mentioned OSCAR. He’s once again been shafted from the group.

No one even asks where he is, no one even thinks about saving him some cake, or sad that he couldn’t join. It just makes it seem once again that the group just don’t care about him, and after all the bullshit they put him through last Volume, I’m beyond annoyed anymore. Please CRWBY, stop shafting my son.

I like that once again, Ruby is isolated herself from the group, just like she did in the Brunswick farm and after the fiasco with Jaune and Oscar in the last volume.

She seems to shoulder all her negative feelings by herself, but this time, rather than her just happening across Maria or Qrow busying himself with a drink, Qrow extends help out to her. Ruby is finally able to talk about what’s bothering her and Qrow isn’t thinking about his own problems without a care for anyone else like last volume. I was so happy when we finally got Summer lore after like seven volumes of hardly anything about her, and we see under the surface about how Ruby truly feels about her deceased mother.

It’s not much, but I’m glad it’s there. It was interesting that she kept secrets from her team and even Ozpin, and that the mission she died on wasn’t one that Ozpin sent her on, so the annoying ass theory that he’s somehow responsible is taken out back and put down like Old Yeller. Though I do wish it was Taiyang and Ruby talking about her, just because there’s barely any interactions between them despite Ruby also being his daughter, but it was only a mild thing for me. Overall, a very cute scene.

That being said, the topic about it... wasn’t. It was trash.

I’m tired of the whole “Ruby lying is totally different to Ozpin lying!” because it’s really not, and Qrow trying to spin it that Ozpin was keeping the truth from everyone while Ruby is letting people in is... bullshit?

WHO has Ruby let in? She couldn’t control whether her team, Qrow and Maria knew the truth because they were there when Jinn told her. She told Team JNR not because of any practical reason, but purely emotional reasons. She told them not because “Oh they’ve proven they can be trusted so they can know now.”, but “They’re my friends and I have to tell them.”

She hasn’t told anyone else. She hasn’t told Penny, the Ace Ops, Winter, even Ironwood. When should she tell them? What do they have to do to prove to Ruby that they can be trusted? What about Penny sharing the very classified information about her being a robot to Ruby, or Ironwood telling them about his plans that only a hand selected few know? Is that not enough for Ruby to think “Okay, they trust me with this, so I should trust them.”

And Ozpin trusted the Pod Squad with way more than anyone else. They knew about Salem, the war, Maidens, Magic, the Gods, everything that Ozpin himself knew except that Salem can’t be killed. And what would be the point of saying? Tell them that, freak everyone out, and just have them more likely to leave because there’s no point, even though they can still do some good by protecting the people from the Grimm that definitely won’t leave even if they could kill Salem? Or keep it from them and have them continue fighting because otherwise what else could you do? Roll over and let everyone die? 

And the worst thing is? Ruby lying wasn’t a bad thing. It was interesting, I wanted to see how she’d cope with knowing that maybe Ozpin had a reason to lie, that being betrayed over and over and over again for centuries has a way of fucking up someone’s ability to trust, and that now she’s in the leadership role without Ozpin to fall back on like in her Beacon days. It’s a complex issue, and if this scene is just Qrow saying this and now feeling like the show itself is pushing it, then I would be fine.

It’s how a character sees a problem. Just because Qrow believes that Ruby’s different from Ozpin doesn’t mean it’s actually right, but Ruby isn’t being challenged on that. Oscar isn’t there to give that counter argument, and the rest of the team is so hypocritical that it would just annoy me if they did. Blake’s kept secrets, Yang’s kept secrets, Qrow’s kept some pretty big secrets, and now with the latest episode, Weiss has a secret to keep as well.

That doesn’t mean they’re horrible people, and Ozpin keeping his doesn’t make him an asshole like the team, and by extension some of the FNDM, likes to think.

I hope Team RWBY and Ozpin can reconcile, and not just have one or the other be the only one in the wrong. The way the show is going, however, I’m worries that only Ozpin will be shown as in the wrong and have to apologise.

Moving on to the final scene, I’m so happy that Whitley came home. I missed my son.

But more seriously, I’m glad they actually showed that, yes, Whitley is being abused just like Weiss is, and without Weiss there for him to keep his walls up, we’re finally able to see him as the vulnerable teenager who scared and alone. His voice actor did great in portraying the nervousness and fear that Whitley was clearly feeling, and we know it’s not because of Watts because Whitley just sorta glares at him when he finally appears.

It’s Jacques that Whitley’s scared of. Even as the “Golden Child”, Whitley isn’t exempt from the same abuse that Winter and Weiss went through. Here’s to hoping they don’t throw yet another male abuse victim under the bus by making Whitley evil or something.

And on the topic of Watts, he’s just becoming more and more of my favourite villain. Hazel and Tyrian still outrank him, but these past two episodes have done more to endear him to me than the past three years he’s been in the show. Only downside is that “have your cake and eat it too?” line felt kinda cheesy and didn’t really bring home how intimidating Watts as a villain could truly be.

Given that Jacques knows him enough to call him by his first name, I’m curious to see what’s more for our Lorax Hacker Man.

So that’s it. Definitely the best episode of the volume so far given that I couldn’t find any BIG problems with it like the last episodes, and even though it was definitely slower, there was still tension in it without there being any fighting. Eddie did a great job with this episode and I’m looking forward to more of his works.

Episode Rating: 8.5 / 10

Unpopular Opinion: Shinobu's Ultimately in the Wrong and Law’s Justified in his Feelings of Anger against Her

Ok, since it seems like everyone and their mother in the fandom and in the narrative itself has set up a Shinobu defense squad and is 100% devoted to shutting down any criticisms of her, I know that this is going to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but still, I just wanna say it

Honestly, I don’t think any of Shinobu’s treatment of Law in the past few chapters (accusing his crewmates of betraying the alliance and threatening to kill them) was justified in any way whatsoever, and I believe that Law’s right in feeling angry at her

I mean...

1. It’s at least partially Shinobu’s fault that Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo were captured and are being tortured

Before they were captured, Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi were dutifully laying low and carrying out their part of the plan in the Flower Capital. However, most likely because of the heightened security at the Flower Capital, they ended up getting captured and tortured. Now, pray tell, what caused this heightened security in the first place? Why, it was caused at least in part by Shinobu, Nami, and Robin causing chaos in Orochi’s palace and messing around in the bathhouse for no discernible reason. Consequently, Shinobu’s at least in part responsible for Law’s crewmates being captured and tortured

Granted, Shinobu didn’t mean for that to happen. Nevertheless, regardless of whether she meant for it to happen or not, she should take at least some sort of responsibility for the suffering that her fuck-ups helped inflict on Law’s crew

And just... listen, Shinobu blaming Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin for being in a situation that the consequences of her own mistakes are at least partially responsible for putting them in is a really bad look, ok??

2. The emotional reasoning underlying her accusations and threats falls flat because of her actions

Apparently, according to literally every character who was present at the scene, Law’s anger at Shinobu is overblown and unreasonable because the reason why she did what she did is that she’s frustrated over seeing the plan 20 years in the making go awry and that all of them have to take any and all precautions whatsoever to prevent their plans from falling apart since “this isn’t a game.” 

On its own, this statement seems incredibly fair. However, just two chapters before she accused and threatened Law’s crew, Shinobu was just messing around in the bathhouse for no reason and ended up getting exposed because of it (which, as I mentioned before, helped cause the heightened security that led to the capture and torture of Law’s crew). As a result, because her cavalier actions contradict her assertion that “this isn’t a game,” Shinobu herself makes it seem like the situation not only isn’t all that dire, but that it certainly isn’t serious enough to threaten to kill Law’s crew, which is never a declaration that you should throw around lightly. Similarly, because her carefree and risky frolicking at the bathhouse contradicts her assertion that that they have to take any and all precautions possible to prevent the plan from getting ruined, Shinobu not only comes across as a massive hypocrite, but it also seems like she’s selectively picking and choosing which types of risks she’s willing to allow, and apparently while messing around in the bathhouse is an “acceptable” risk that isn’t worthy of censure, Law’s crew getting captured is worthy of death

3. Out of all the allies that were captured, Shinobu specifically and only accuses Law’s crew of betraying the alliance

Like... pretty much any of those captured allies--and many who weren’t--could’ve leaked the plans, and yet she automatically accuses specifically and only Law’s crew of betraying the alliance!! 

Granted, in comparison to the other allies, who are presumably people she knows very well, the Heart Pirates are practically strangers to her, which might explain why she’s much more willing to lay the blame on Law’s crew rather than on any of her other allies. However, she doesn’t even entertain the possibility that it could’ve been one of them and that Law’s crew is innocent. Like, it’s not a case of her going “oh, there must be a traitor, and because I’m almost completely sure that it wasn’t any of our Wano allies that leaked our plans, do you think it’s possible that the Heart Pirates betrayed the alliance?” Instead, it’s a case of her going, “It’s 100% certainly a fact that Law’s crew betrayed the alliance, and I’m going to kill them for it.” And listen, considering the weight of these accusations and the fact that she’s apparently planning to kill whoever snitched, it looks really bad that she’s just immediately rushing to blame Law’s crew of betrayal

Also, her immediate accusation of Law’s crew looks even worse when you consider the fact that she never even entertains the possibility that other non-Wano allies that she doesn’t know all that well--such as Luffy--could’ve been the ones to leak the plan instead!! Yeah, Shinobu saw how strong-willed Luffy was when he attacked Kaido, but she still doesn’t know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t squeal if he were tortured. And while we as an audience know that Luffy would never do such a thing, Shinobu doesn’t, making the reasoning underlying her insults against and apparent decision to kill Law’s crew seem even more arbitrary. I mean, she’s just singling out the Heart Pirates for pretty much no reason by now!! And considering that she’s seemingly arbitrarily singling them out for the purposes of accusing them of being traitors and threatening to kill them, it just looks really, really bad!!!

4. Shinobu never took back her words or apologized 

Listen, I understand that Shinobu said these things in the heat of the moment out of frustration and panic. I understand. But listen, accusations of betrayal and death threats against one’s crew are never things that should be said lightly. These are serious and grave things that can pretty much amount to a declaration of war. So if Shinobu took back what she said and apologized to Law after she got scolded by Kanjuro, while I would be thinking that she’s playing a real dangerous game saying such serious things, I could ultimately view her actions as not being damning

However, the fact of the matter is... she never took back what she said or apologized. As a result, Shinobu is essentially sending Law the message that she not only isn’t sorry for insulting and threatening to kill his crew without any real justification, but that she stands by it and that she really did mean every single word of it

Like can you imagine if Shinobu not only insulted but threatened to kill members of the Straw Hat crew who were captured and being tortured, but also refused to apologize after the fact?? Luffy would be furious. Like, Law’s in this exact same situation, and??? Honestly??? I don’t blame Law at all for getting upset

5. Speaking of that, think about how Luffy would’ve reacted in this same exact scenario and how we as a fandom would’ve reacted as well

If it were Nami, Zoro, and Sanji instead of Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo who were captured and being tortured, and Shinobu were accusing them of being snitches and threatening to kill them, Luffy would be unimaginably pissed at her. Not only that, but the narrative would be treating her as a bad guy as well, and we as a fandom would rake her over the coals. But apparently, if it’s Law’s crew that it’s happening to, then all of a sudden the narrative and the fandom and narrative as a whole decide to bend backwards in order to justify everything that she said??? What??????

6. She did the exact same thing she accused Law’s crew of doing and that she threatened to kill them for

Shinobu accuses Law’s crew of leaking valuable intel to the enemy and threatens to kill them for it, yet like 15 minutes after Law leaves she basically spills all the plan’s details to someone she outright admitted she doesn’t even know??? What???? Listen, this is another case of Shinobu seeming like a hypocrite--apparently if she or one of her friends does it, it’s forgivable, but if Law’s crew does it, then they’re worthy of death smh

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Overall, you gotta admit that, on every front, it makes Shinobu look bad and it makes the narrative’s depiction of them being in a “they’re both right, so you can’t blame either” situation look... really unfair to Law at best, let’s be honest here

Also, another reason why this annoys me so bad is that the narrative is??? doing everything to make Law look unreasonable in this situation???? Like

1) Nobody backed Law up during the argument at all. Shinobu literally threatened to kill his crew, but apparently nobody aside from Law was upset by this or felt the need to have Law’s back in this situation 

2) Contrastingly, several characters leapt to Shinobu’s defense by trying to rationalize her behavior by saying “don’t be angry at her, think about her ~feelings~ in this situation” 

3) The way several characters discuss Law after he leaves (“geez/sigh, he just stormed off”) basically makes it look like they’re portraying Law as an unreasonable drama queen throwing a hissy fit just because he’s angry that, y’know, Shinobu threatened to kill his crew 

4) The casual way that they’re talking about Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi’s situation, aka conversationally musing over how long they would last if they were in their shoes, really trivializes the direness of their circumstances and makes it look even more like they think Law’s getting angry over nothing

Just... I absolutely love the Straw Hats, and I absolutely love Law (Law, Sanji, Nami, Usopp, and Luffy are like in my top ten faves of the series). So I hate how uncharacteristically callous the narrative’s defense of Shinobu makes the Straw Hats seem to be right now in regards to Law’s feelings and the safety of their Heart Pirates allies, and I hate how this basically makes many of Law’s interactions with others in this arc cases where Law has genuinely been treated like garbage by his allies when before it was more of a lighthearted “oh, Law’s suffering because of the alliance” gag 

Succession S2E3 Thoughts

I...am sickened. And that made me hurt. Lots more under the cut. 

Overall: 

Well. That was terrible and horrifying and heart-wrenching. Obviously, Boar on the Floor was...just...the most awful thing that’s ever happened in this show. In a lot of shows, actually. It was humiliation porn, and it was sickening. It was in no way funny. And I wish Tom and Greg would run far, far away from this terrible family, but...I can’t realistically see that happening. The only redeeming thing about this episode was (aside from Connor’s continued absurdity) Tom’s decision to protect Greg, showing that, despite wanting some prestige and status for himself, he doesn’t want it that badly and that he is still different from...this fucked up family. That he has a god damn heart in there. The two of them at breakfast the next day, guh. *hugs them* I really think this bonded them more than they already were. And I kind of do want them to just...run away and open a California Pizza Kitchen. And be loved and safe. 

And, after Shiv’s continued horrible behavior towards Tom (the world, really, but especially Tom), I wish Tom would leave her, but...he won’t. It goes without saying that Logan acted in a disgusting way--beyond disgusting--but so did Shiv, as she always has; we’re just seeing it more out in the open now, more obvious. Everything she does is calculated and deliberate. And everything she does is selfish. What she pushed Tom to do was both of those things--she wanted to insulate herself from having to tell Logan what she thought of the acquisition and position herself advantageously in his mind, and she didn’t give a shit about what it might do to Tom. I can’t even get into how I feel about all this open marriage bullshit. Look, I know polyamorous relationships can and do work, but this is in no way working and in no way healthy, for them, especially for Tom. And my heart just...broke for him at the end. Just...into a million little pieces. I realize that Tom has never fully come out and told Shiv that he is absolutely not okay with this, but if she didn’t see it in his face and hear it in his voice, then she...is either more callous than I even thought or positively oblivious. But, as Shiv has said herself, the essence of a person can’t and won’t change, so I don’t see her somehow experiencing some grand revelation and changing her behavior in this relationship. I am totally mystified at how Sarah Snook (who is great, absolutely) insists that Shiv loves Tom. Completely baffled, because I continue to see...no love there, from her. I see that he loves her. I do not see that she loves him. So...color me interested to see how she changes, I guess? But right now, at this moment, I’d like to push Shiv off the top of the Empire State Building. 

And I want to surround Tom with as much love and affection as possible. Oh, speaking of Tom--I’m not sure how much more shit he can take, really. I’m worried about him. I wouldn’t be surprised if next episode includes the water bottle throwing, because, even though I think he and Greg are more bonded than ever, I think Tom has quite a bit of misplaced anger to get rid of, and I think he might hurl it in Greg’s direction. 

Kendall: I am disappointed in him. He is still a lifeless zombie, and I need awesome Kendall back. The savvy businessman with a heart. I want him back. 

Roman: I admit that I felt a tiny bit of sympathy when we really got to see the little insecure child that he really is. 

Connor: please keep being stupid, I love you. 

As I watched: 

I'm a time-pressed executive. Oh, Greg. Trying to speak so clearly, and use big words. And yet...you're failing to mention any of this is off the record. You said all the words but the most important ones. Oh, there they are. Said 'em too late. 

Who's dying? Well, Logan doesn't care, whoever it is. 

This Logan sidekick adviser guy was a Nazi in a movie, wasn't he? I swear, he was. I just can’t think of which one. 

Wow, a real meeting to executives. 

"French kissing an armadillo." A+ for that, dude. 

No, Gerri does not like this. And she's a smart lady. I'd listen to her. 

I love how Tom is trying to absorb all this Logan-and-business-related information, but...is clearly struggling to keep up. I also like that he's clearly not comfortable there. He even sat himself at the far corner of the giant table, next to no one. At least you're pretty, Tom. 

A morale booster. Uh huh. 

Oh my dear God, Connor. The ideas primary. He is nutso. So nutso. And I think Roman is serious about 1% of the time, but I totally believe him when he says Connor only knows about jail from Monopoly. 

Ha, Tabitha! You've just fucked all of NY's elite, haven't you? And Tom. Sort of. 

A big angry puffer fish bristling with dick. Bwhahaha. No, Tom, you're right, I would stay far away from whatever that is. 

You know what, Shiv? I know you're really pissed off because you weren't invited to the corporate retreat when you're...you know, not yet part of the family business, which was...your own damn choice, but don't ask Tom to do that. You know what's going to happen. 

Tom, come on. Hold your ground, maybe? 

Your meat puppet? Wow. Oh, don't try to walk it back. You're not joking. You know how I know? Because it was mean. Not funny. Okay, well, at least you can admit you weren't joking, Shiv. 

Greg, bless you. A very white, very wealthy band. U2! Ahahaha! 

Historically speaking, when I'm betrayed, it's usually you. Okay, that was kind of funny. 

No, no, no, bad time Tom. Don't talk to him now. Don't talk to him at all. Don't do it. 

WONDER WOMAN! IT WAS WONDER WOMAN. That sidekick dude was the Nazi dude or whatever evil power he represented in Wonder Woman. Ha. I remembered. 

Sam looks like a douche. Cool hair, bro. 

Was Greg in the front craning for a look around? OMG, he was. Eheheh. He's taking pictures, I love him. 

Tom in a sporty down vest. Love. 

It IS good to see Frank, actually! 

Connor's scenes have seriously become some of the most hilarious ones of the show. He is so incredibly absurd. Hyper-decanting, ahahahahahaha. I'm dying. 

I can't get over how Shiv can speak truths about other people, but be so, so hypocritical at the same time. 

Aww, Tom doesn't want to lose his buddy. A girl can start to wonder. Aw. On the friend level. Awwww! 

Ratfucker Sam! Yeah, he looks like a ratfucker. Is he nice? You're asking about the moral character of a man named Ratfucker Sam? That...is the funniest line in the show so far, OMG. 

Aw, that was a great scene, too. With Greg and Tom. Tom knows how vulnerable Greg just made himself. He knows the kind of damage he can do to Greg with this information. 

Kendall's hat! Can we talk about Kendall's hat?! 

Oh, man. Everyone is putting Tom up to be the sacrificial lamb. Oh, yikes. Poor Tom. Practically getting pushed now. Ugh, of course Gerri and Karl know Shiv asked Tom. *hugs Tom* 

Aw, Greg and Tom really are cut from the same cloth, aren't they? Tom's bizarre preamble "heads up" is almost exactly like Greg's "pre-meeting" with the author. Gaaaaah. I'm already cringing. Oh, poor, precious Tom. 

........ Just a guy who works for me? Shiv. ......fuck right the fuck off, you fuck. Also, did you take your rings off? Or is that guy just a blind moron? Don't let me down, soldier. Ugh. 

Logan, you trying to get us drunk? Taking a page out of Roman's playbook? Oh, damn. That hurt my heart. "Why don't you pipe down until you tell me I've got a grandson coming? Or are you shooting blanks?" That...man, that was even more painful for Tom than Logan intended, probably. 

This is...excruciating. 

Oooh, but what a great shot of Logan and Kendall. 

This is some nightmarish shit. This is so fucked up. I just...this is like...psychological torture. Way, way beyond bullying. This is humiliation porn, and I am a little bit sick over it, to be honest. 

Ugh, and now we get to see Shiv fuck another dude. Cool. Ah, she did take off her rings. And it is NOT simple, Shiv. It really isn't. 

Can I just...Tom needs to get all the hugs and love and ice cream ever. Just...all the cuddles. 

I think this is the strongest Tom has ever been...just...showing up to breakfast in the morning. I would have tried to become one with my bed and pretended to be dead until everyone else left. Someone please hug him. 

They need to hug Greg while they're at it. Just bear hug those two at their sad little humiliated breakfast table. At least Greg is saved. For now.

Awwww, Greg saying thanks. Tom touching him, aww. That was...nice. The only two decent hearts in the room, I swear. (For the record, Kendall, I still believe in you, but you've become a lifeless puppet, and I want you to come back, please.) A little cute, though, that Gerri is taking pity on man-child Roman. 

NOBODY KNOWS THE PRICE OF A GALLON OF MILK. I'm with Roman on this one. 

Tom, baby, just walk back out of the house and never come back. He doesn't even try to hide how he felt about that terrible...ness. Oh, god, and he's trying to stick up for himself just a little bit. SHIV, GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE WHILE HE'S TALKING, JUST ONCE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Okay, okay. Good. 

Also, Tom, it's not at all being a dick to want to have an equal say in a relationship. But, I hate to break it to you, I don't think Shiv is going to change any time soon. I just can’t see that happening. She even said so herself, that the essence of a person can’t change. 

Aaaaaand my heart just broke. Tom's little..."Oh. Maybe later." And he's so desperate for some kind of affection that he needs to hug her anyway. Guh. Just. Kill me now. That was agonizing. 

Yeah, that whole thing was agonizing.

The Adrienne Letter

This letter was published by Adrienne, an ex-girlfriend of Onision’s, to a certain YouTuber in an effort to help him understand more about how Greg operates. After Onision made a series of videos attacking her, she gave him permission to release this letter in is entirety - in fact, one of the videos in this series about her was the reason why he was banned from VidCon in 2012. 

The reason I am re-posting this now, after all these years, is because of the recent surge of interest in Onision in light of the drama that has been surrounding his personal life and shady business practices since late December. If even one Onision fan reads this and changes their mind about him, then I’m happy to repost it.

What follows is Adrienne’s letter in its entirety, unedited by me in any way. 

Oh God, where to start? Even after a night of rest, and an afternoon  to collect my thoughts, this situation was such an emotional  clusterfuck for me, that accessing the vault that these thoughts are  locked away in makes my head spin. But, as promised, here we go – from  the beginning… A lot of people seem to be confused on how exactly me and G met;  some people think we were friends before, some people think we contacted  each other to orchestrate some subscriber garnering publicity stunt,  and some people know the truth. The truth of how we met is cute, but  hardly newsworthy. Long story short, I stumbled upon some of his speaks video earlier in  this year (ironically enough, while I was still dating my last ex – the  one who I wrote that long, “incriminating”, blog entry about, that G  publicly posted to seek “revenge”). Honestly, I share(d) the same view  on his speaks videos as you; they are ignorant, judgemental,  hypocritical, and close-minded, with no real life experience or formal  education to lend any form of validity, meaning, or substance to the  preachy nature of whatever his “message” for that particular video may  be. His message that lacks any message at all, that is just someone  seemingly talking to hear the sound of their own voice. But, regardless,  there is something fascinating about his speaks videos that keep you  watching. Perhaps it’s his audacity? Or, to the contrary, perhaps it's  his naive boyish demeanor (a facade or not) that keeps you glued to the  screen, watching for the moment he finally gets it. But, I digress – I found his videos interesting, not only because of  the entertainment factor, but from a psychologically analytical  standpoint, and so I kept watching. And watching. And watching. After me  and my boyfriend broke off our year and a half relationship towards the  end of may, I suddenly had a lot of free time – so what did I do? I  continued watching all the way through round one of the Shiloh drama. I  often found myself not only relating to Shiloh, applying her situation  to the recently extinct relationship of my own, but also wondering what I  would do in Shiloh’s shoes if I were with G instead of her. Which  subsequently lead to me wondering what it was like to date G; to be the  center of his attention, to be showered in his affection. Then I totally  face/plamed when I realized I had a crush on this person who I  absolutely love to hate. I ended up joining his forum, making a few  comments here and there, and just generally perusing his posts to see  another side of G that wasn’t connected to the negativity surrounding  his private life at the time. Eventually (we’re at mid to late August  now), I created a couple of topics of my own, one of which was directed  to the young girls writing depressing unrequited “love” stories –  telling them something to the effect of, “It’s okay to take your time in  choosing the right person for you. There are 7 billion people in this  world, you’re bound to find one who will treat you right”. G apparently  liked this, and left a comment jokingly asking me when we’re getting  married, and if Friday worked for me. Jokingly, I responded, “Yes and  yes”. He gave me his e-mail and the rest is YouTube history. I was curious, so I sent him an e-mail asking if we’re getting  married in LA or Austin, and within minutes he responded. We joked back  and forth until he was finally said something to the effect of, “Okay,  complete stranger! But if you want, I can fly you up here for a weekend,  we can hang out and you can watch me edit!”. The rapid rate at which  things were progressing was a little disconcerting for me, but I still  played along – my interest was peaked. I told him he should get to know  me better and then we can talk about me visiting him. I ended up giving  him my phone number, telling him it’s the easiest way to reach me,  should he care to get to know me better. Again, within minutes, he  contacted me. We texted back and forth until 3:00 AM, when I had to go  to bed. I honestly thought this was a one off shot at talking to him; I  did not expect to hear from him again. Wrong. He texted me later the next day, asking me to Skype with him when I got home from work and I agreed. Well,  I should of taken this entire Skype session as the worlds biggest red  flag. Because within not even 5 minutes of his disinterest in anything I  was saying, and him cutting off everything I said, by talking over me  with things pertaining to him – he proceeds to tell me the astronomical  amount of money he has to pay Skye within the next 7 years, and  followed that by telling me all about a certain popular YouTuber who has  mouth herpes, and another certain popular YouTuber who propositioned  him for a threesome (in graphic and gory detail, no less). You know,  information I should not be privy to, that he has no right telling me.  Then, after him spending most of the evening grilling me about my past  relationships – including such questions as “How many people have you  slept with?” – and cutting off my answers with unrelated stories about  himself, I realized it was 2:00 AM and I needed to go to bed. I tried to  say goodnight, but he started getting very ornery with me. Saying, and I  quote: “You know, if I keep talking to you, I am going to fall for you,  I hope you’re prepared for that. Are you going to let me down?”. Hoping  this behavior was unusual for him, that perhaps it was just a bad  night, and not wanting to completely run him off because I was curious  as to where this was leading, I told him I would not let him down. We  said goodnight, I sign off. The next day, we text back and forth while I’m at work. How cute! I  get home from work at around midnight and get a text saying, “I’m ready  to Skype when you are!”. I guess I didn’t get the memo that Skyping  every single night was a mandatory requirement here – so I politely  declined, citing that I was exhausted and didn’t feel or look my best,  and asked if we could reschedule for the following night. Again, with  the ornery behavior; he told me I wasn’t “fighting for love” (…who  fucking knows) and that someone who is genuinely interested in him (who  cares about me, right?) would want to Skype him all night – that  “a little exhaustion shouldn’t keep you from the one you love”. Please,  keep in mind that this was the third night I had ever spoken to this  man. Again, I politely declined and his response was him pulling away,  telling me that he can’t be with someone so emotionally vacant, and if I  want something real with him that I know where to find him and what I  have to do. So you know what I did? I went to bed. As I lacked enough vodka and  the ability to get so hammered that something like that might actually  make enough sense to stay up deal with it. I mean, Jesus Christ!  Within 3 days, this man made it pretty clear he wasn’t fond of the idea  of me drinking, yet I have never encountered anything or anyone who has  made me want to chug a handle of cheap vodka more than him. What’s even  scarier is that, even so, I liked the man! I genuinely liked him! What's  going on here?! I wake up the next morning to a series of texts from him saying that  he’s not right in the head, that he’s not over the e-fling he was  having with Miss menage a trois (or was it the ex-girlfriend from 10  years ago he had just started talking to again? I can’t fucking  remember), and that he isn’t going to be around or make himself  available to me anymore. I responded with a very cold and callous text,  telling him that I don’t appreciate being chewed up and spit back out,  especially when he isn’t the only one with feelings here. I told him if  this is what he wants, so be it, and I said goodbye. He called me immediately… to talk about the person he is upset over  – I wasn’t amused. He quickly realized that trying to manipulate me  into a jealous frenzy wasn’t working, and somehow managed to re-route  the conversation, and relevance of bringing up the other girl, into him  working things out with me – he was so sweet and charming, so I  accepted when he said he wanted another shot with me. We made a Skype  date for later that evening. This is where he tells me he is falling in love with me, tells me I  shouldn’t be afraid to love him too, and asked me to be his girlfriend.  Against my better judgement, I accepted – what can I say, I was smitten  with the boy. (He also asked me to marry him, but I just giggled it  off). He kept telling me how beautiful I am, how smart I am, how funny I  am – it had been a while since I’d heard anyone say those things to  me, and he knew that. He really punched a huge hole in my defensive  wall, and any remaining bricks of resistance he basically forced me to  tear down myself, with guilt trips (“You don’t really love me if you  don’t do this for me”) and scare tactics (“I don’t think I can be with  somebody who…”) – making me feel like there was something wrong with  me for not wanting his love or to love him in return. It was unnerving  and I felt vulnerable, but the damage had already been done – I went  along with it. He started asking me to move out to Los Angeles to live with him, so we  can give our relationship a fair shot. He said that everything would be  easier if we were face to face. I told him that this is all happening a  little too fast for my taste and that I would absolutely love to fly out  there for a weekend to spend time with him, to make sure us dating is  something either of us actually want, as we barely knew each other, but  he was not pleased with my answer. He became offended and upset. He  started making completely asinine statements, such as: “If I really  loved someone, I would give up everything to be with them. Love is the  most important thing in my life!”. To which I responded with, “If I  really loved someone and they really loved me, I would trust them not to  have unrealistic expectations of me like that”, and to completely  diffuse the situation, I smiled, flipped my hair, and told him, “Let's  hangout first and see what happens. Who knows, maybe I wont want to go home. Just be patient with me”. There was no arguing that, he settled down. It felt like the more I turned up my nose his attempts at  controlling the situation, the more extravagant his next attempt would  be. It was like the ultimate game of pong; back and forth, until one of  us would slip up, and then it’s game over. I want you to remember, this is still night 3 of us talking. Not 3 years, not 3 months, not 3 weeks, 3 days.  Please notice how he is already throwing the L word around – as if he  is using it to control me and invoke fear, rather than to express any  genuine feelings for me. Then the conversation got really warped and sexual. He started  asking me how I felt about uncircumcised penises, proceeded to tell me  about his, then ask me all sorts of sexual questions about myself. He  asked me about how I protect myself during sex, I told him I cannot find  a birth control pill that’s right for me, so I use condoms. I, however,  made the mistake of telling him that I am allergic to them, so  ultimately it ends up being painful for me. I joked around saying that  I’d rather be pregnant than use the alternative and shove lamb hide  inside of me, and I guess he took me seriously. Because he responded,  “Well, it’s settled, we wont use condoms them”. I asked him “What if I  get pregnant?”, and he told me we’d cross that bridge when we come to  it, and implied that having a mini-me might not be such a bad thing  later down the line. (I did not realize that he meant, like, 2 weeks). Even though I objected to or was offended by everything he was saying, I  didn’t have the emotional energy to be assertive and tell him how I  really felt – as, by this point, I was frightened by his unstable  emotions and was scared he might never speak to me again if I upset him.  I was utterly terrified of making him angry. In 3 days he had already  found ways to manipulate me and make me feel like my life would be  mundane and worthless without him being in it – I didn’t want to  challenge him. Oh, but then he tells me when we live together, we’re waiting a month before we have sex. Err. Eventually  he ended up telling me that one of the times him and Shiloh broke up  was because he had a problem jerking off to Hentai and she was disgusted  by it. Before I had time to finish being disgusted myself, finish  throwing up in my mouth and disconnect the call, he started talking  about just Shiloh. Even though I felt that indulging in more of  his trash-talking was a selfish and sleazy move on my part, once again,  curiosity got the better of me, and I set my morals aside to hear what  he had to say. He told me that Shiloh is a psychotic pathelogical liar – that  almost every word that comes out of her mouth is fabricated or designed  to hurt someone. I think it goes without saying that he told me he  didn’t believe she was pregnant and that she lied entirely about losing  her memory – that she admitted it to him later. He told me that she was  controlling and wouldn’t let him not only talk to other girls, but look  at them in movies (and I don’t mean the  Hentai kind, I mean summer  blockbuster kind). He told me that his tattoos were her idea – that she  wanted him to get them to recommit himself to her after one of the many  times they broke up. She got his name on the back of her neck and he  was supposed to get her name on his wrist, but he changed his mind at  the last second, after she had gotten hers, and chose something far more  vague; “Remember Love”. He told me that he was the only one she had  told about how she was born with both genitals, but somehow, as a baby,  opted for cosmetic surgery to go the female route. He told me that she  claimed to have lost her virginity to him, but believes that when she  told him she was “brutally raped” several times, that they were just her  ex-boyfriends and that she didn’t have the courage to admit to him that  she wasn’t a virgin. He told me when they were dating they would drive  to or meet up in any states they could where 17 was the legal age of  consent – they didn’t just meet up that one time, as they lead people  to believe with their videos. How’s this for messed up: he even went as  far as to tell me that his mother informed him that when they  were broken up but still living together – and G wouldn’t have sex with  her anymore (but would buy her sex toys and show her how to use them –  yes, I am serious) – that Shiloh tried to force his little dog to eat  her out, and the dog got scared, so it bit her in the crotch. Then he  said something about Shiloh peeing on his bed and blaming the dog? I  don’t even know, by this point I was terrified and stopped listening. It was time for me to fucking go to bed. (And just to put possible thoughts in the back of your mind to rest  – I have absolutely no beneficial reason to make any of this up in a private e-mail that, hopefully, only you  will be seeing. Hell, I don’t think I could make this up if I wanted  to, man. I am telling you about the “reconstructive surgery” and alleged  beastiality in the strictest of  confidence, as means of you understanding how seriously warped and disgusting these people are! True or not, it’s all sickening!) Anyway, as I was saying, I went off to bed and tried to pretend like that didn’t just happen. Somewhere  within the next few days, we have *gasp* another completely ridiculous  and unnecessary argument, started entirely by him. As per usual, it  involved Skype! I guess I had forgotten about the mandatory Skype requirements of being  his girlfriend and naively made plans to hang out with my friends,  instead of Skype all night with him. Even though I gave him an advance  warning that I wouldn’t be able to chat, I was being foolish and thought  maybe he could salvage his night and go do something fun himself.  Unacceptable. He immediately calls me to tell me that I don’t truly love  him, that once again, I am not “fighting for love”. He told me he  doesn’t understand how I can choose my friends over him, that in order  to be with him, that I “have to prioritize him over everyone”.  Then we ended up getting into this additional argument where I asked  him, “What’s going to happen if we live together and I want to go out  with my friends one night?”. His response was, “Well, I’ll go with! We  are supposed to do everything together!”. I added, “I meant without  you”. He told me he thought I was being shady and he doesn’t deserve to  be treated like this. Even though I thought he was acting like a 5 year  old cult leader in the making, we played phone tag for about an hour –  eventually I got him on the line long enough to tell him that  friendships require constant maintenance and I am not going to neglect  the people I love because he is insecure with being left alone for a  little while. I told him that when I said I am not going to neglect the  people I love, that I meant him as well – that there is such a thing as  time management. I told him that healthy adult couples require time  apart – what’s the point is having me share my life with him, when I  have no life, other than HIM, to share; he might as well date himself. Did I mention that during all of this, my friends had come to my  house and were sitting in the living room waiting for me while I was  arguing with G? And eventually I became so overwhelmingly frustrated  that I had to send them home, ultimately to buckle under the pressure  and Skype him. But hey, I scratch his back, he scratches mine, right? I  Skyped like he wanted, so in return he admitted I was right, that he was  acting childish and that I can hang out with my friends whenever I  want. Thanks. Even though a few days later, he pulled the same stunt,  but this time I was at my friends house, not at home and completely  unable to Skype even if I wanted to. Since I was preoccupied and unable to tend to my phone blowing up  with calls and texts every 5 minutes, he started making ridiculous  ultimatums and demands that had absolutely nothing to do with anything  – “You tell me RIGHT NOW that you’re going to move here in a week or  IT’S OVER! THIS IS THE FINAL TIME!”. Huh? That’s when the countdown  started – “You have ONE HOUR TO ANSWER ME OR IT’S DONE FOR GOOD!”…  “46 minutes!”… “32 minutes!”… “16 minutes!”. I shit you not, this happened. So, at this point I proceeded to get obliterated, hammered, fall on  my ass, piss drunk and send him pictures of Chocobo as my responses. As  I’m sure you can imagine, that didn’t go over too well. From that  point on details are fuzzy, but I do know that I ended up calling him  at 2 in the morning crying uncontrollably and screaming at him for  hours. Apparently, according to him, I reamed him a new one and he  learned his lesson to never try and come between me and my friends. It  was never an issue from that moment on. Over the next day or so, things finally felt, well, as stable as  they possibly could. And what I mean by that is that G wasn't  unnecessarily angry with me over nothing, which meant that I could  breathe easy. So, I was making friendly banter with him, via text  message. I told him I was excited because I just ordered new jewelry for  my septum piercing, because one of the little balls unscrewed and fell  off, so I had to wear the jewelry flipped up. Even though he knew I had a  septum piercing before he asked me to be his girlfriend, he proceeded  to tell me that he thinks they are ugly and implied that he thought I  should take it out, because it is “disrespecting my body”. I became unequivocally, unabashedly, downright fucking furious that I  went off on him. I told him that he has absolutely no right to try and  change how I look, or who I am, and that if he really “loves” ME, he  would love and accept all of me. That there’s no ‘buts’ when it  comes to love; love is unconditional or it’s not love at all. Then he  got angry, then I got angrier, then he got even more angry than that.  Then, as expected, he dumped me, and I spent the next couple of hours  ignoring his angry texts and frantic phone calls – until his fury  filled mania subsided and he realized how ridiculous he was being and  called me crying, to apologize for everything. I decided not to just  grin and bear it like I have in the past, but to be completely honest  with him. I reminded him that I am a 26 year old adult, who is far more  experienced not only in relationships, but life, than he is and that I  know when I’m being manipulated. That every word that comes out of his  mouth is his way of trying to manipulate me into giving him something he  wants – I said to him, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to ask, instead of  fighting for it all the time?”. I told him that I am willing to  compromise in certain areas, for the sake of maintaining a healthy and  functional relationship where both parties are satisfied, but I  absolutely refuse to change myself or who I am, merely  to accommodate  someone’s overly sensitive ego. He toggled between crying, and being silly ‘I’m a banana’ G – he didn't  know how to process what I had said to him. He told me that no one has  ever spoken to him the way I have before, that I was right – every word  out of his mouth was him trying to manipulate me, that he is a very  conniving and manipulative person. He told me that he’s not used to  dating women, that in relationships, he’s used to playing  babysitter,[…]. He told me that my independence and free will scare him and  he doesn’t know how to handle it. He also expressed to me that he wasn’t used to having to keep his  private life private, that he was used his significant other being  actively involved in his YouTube “career” – as I had asked him to keep  everything between us private. Which I think is funny, looking at his  most recent videos where he is begging for the privacy I begged him for a  month or so ago. Anyway, we made up. A few days of peace and quiet went by, until he  started demanding I move out there again. I told him I can’t do that,  but rather, I want to meet him face to face and spend some quality  bonding time first. He told me to ask my boss for time off, I agreed. It took me forever to get my boss to respond to me, but more or less, he  told me he couldn’t give me any up coming weekends fully off. So G  booked a plane ticket for him to come out here. He also booked a hotel  room, because he didn’t “feel comfortable intruding on my roommates  house” – riiiiiight.  This all brought me back to that period of time, a few weeks prior,  where I was watching his videos on youTube, wondering what it was like  to be in Shiloh’s shoes – strangely enough, now I know. So, G  flies out here. Get’s his rental car and comes to my house to pick me  up. In a black mustache and his Chibi wig – I thought it might break  the ice if we both looked ridiculous when we met, so I had on a black  mustache too. It honestly just made everything more uncomfortable.  Especially when our mustaches got tangled, which made for an awkward  first kiss. A kiss that happened in the first 10 seconds of us meeting. We drove back to his hotel room, we walk in the door, I set down my bag  and instantaneously he starts making out with me. He immediately starts  taking off articles of my clothing, and we had only been there for not  even 30 seconds. He gets me on the bed, still kissing me and touching me  – between his kisses was me going “nononononono”, and him kissing me  harder to shut me up. I finally pull away long enough to remind him that  he said we were supposed to wait a month, and that maybe we should get  to know each other in person a day or two before we jump into having  sex. He asks me “Why?” as he continues kissing me. Eventually I realized  I was fighting an uphill battle, so I gave up and just went with it. (I’ve already said this on my Google+, but I want to reiterate that he  did not rape me – but there is a fine line between being forced to do  something and being pressured to do something. I just felt rushed is  all.) During sex, he’s looking me in the eye, petting my hair, and asking  me if I want him to cum in me. I told him only if we can get Plan B in  the morning. He looks at me with these disappointed and frustrated eyes,  and says “Don’t you want to be pregnant with my child? Come on, let's  make babies together!”, I told him absolutely not. And he still came in  me anyway. Luckily for me, he’s not that big of a creeper that he  refused to get me Plan B the next morning. Basically the first 2 days of him being in Austin was him repeatedly  trying to have sex with me, cutting off everything I was saying to ask  me a sexual question or to make a sexual innuendo. It got to the point  that we got into an argument about it, because it was legitimately  starting to hurt my feelings. For some reason or another, he would take  me being frustrated and argumentative as a sexual challenge, and would  pin me to the bed and basically try to fuck me (or, as he says, “make  love”) into submission. It became pointless to try and fight it, so I  let him do whatever he wanted – which resulted in him cumming in me  countless times after the Plan B had worn off. With him citing: “If you  get pregnant, I will immediately marry you and will step up as the role  of the father for our child”. What a turn on. Oh well, c'est la vie when you’re involved in the life of this man. I suppose. Later  that evening, morbid curiosity struck again – I knew all about Shiloh,  but what about Skye? After we had finished “making love” for the  umpteenth time, and were rolling around in the sheets, I asked him what  kept him with Skye for so long, for him to tell me about her. […] I legitimately felt so bad for Skye that I had to tell him to stop  talking and that I’d heard enough. At least the Shiloh stuff was  laughable, this was just sad. I made him put in Star Trek and change the subject. After the first day or two of him being in Austin, he legitimately  asked me to marry him. He told me that when I move out there, we’ll go  ring shopping. He offered me the moon and the stars, and promised to be  everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend, fiance or husband – that  the only thing causing problems is the distance between us and to just  give him a chance. We decided that I, indeed, would move out there –  that at the end of that month (it was September 10th at this point) he  would drive out to Austin, we’d pick up my belongings, drive back and  live happily ever after. I had asked him about my animals – as he said, he did, in fact,  offer to pay for the pet deposit at his apartment to bring my animals.  but he followed that statement with telling me how unbelievably  expensive it will be and how there is no room for my animals, and  nowhere to put their litterbox. What else was I supposed to do? I  clearly couldn’t bring them. However, I also asked him about job related stuff and money – he  told me that I could work for him, run the contact page on his forum and  respond to people that he didn’t have time to respond to himself, and  that he would pay me for it. He also told me he would teach me to edit  videos, so I could help him get his stuff out faster, since apparently  YouTube has him on a deadline. (I guess? I don’t understand this YouTube  crap). He said I could do this permanently, since apparently his money  would be mine if we are engaged, or I could do this until I was able to  land a job of my own elsewhere. I mean, have a couple of close friends who live in LA, who I know would  help me should I go out there and things end up in disaster – so I  decided to just go for it. Regardless of some kinks here and  there, how outlandish the entire situation was, and the fact that he had  been trash-talking and farting all evening, things seemed like they  were falling into place, like me and him had a real chance this time.  Maybe he had a point all along. Because, truth be told, I did feel a  sense of validation having him in front of me, without him being a  mish-mash of text and pixels. What a fucking mistake. It took just 12 hours for all of that to unravel. Do you want to know what I had to fucking deal with the next day? Oh my GOD! First  of all, let me just say that G talks in his sleep. Like, continuously  throughout the night, clear as day and loud as hell, so it took me until  dawn to finally fall into a deep sleep. But, oh my GOD, I’ve been dying  to tell someone this aside from my best friends in real life! Let me  tell you how I woke up the next morning! Please grab a towel to sit on  before you read this, because you will pee yourself with laughter. I don’t know how I managed to keep my composure when it was happening to me. *G shaking and tapping me* Me: I roll over, sleepy eyed, “What?!” Him: “Do you suck me?!” Me: “Wha… no?…?!?!?! What the fuck?!”, I roll over and go back to sleep. I  wish you could hear how he says it. He refers to blowjays as being  “sucked on”. Ugh, ew! When he wants a beej, he goes, “Suck me?!”. He  says it kind of like an Asian man at a restaurant, asking you if you  would like some additional “Suk mi” with your order. And he always says  it with a raised inflection on the “me”, so it always sounds like a  question. It is really very tragic. I slept for another hour or so, until he woke me up a second time –  asking, “Are you mad at me?!”. Once again, my response was more or  less: “Whaaa…??? No?!?! I am asleep, what the fuck are you talking  about?!?!” – and I rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep. He  told me that he had a bad dream, where we were fighting, and he needed  me to “love him” and “hold him now” (Yes, like the Thompson Twins song),  because he was “scared”. This was completely beyond me, this was too  stupid for even me to put up with. I told him I was fucking asleep,  I have no idea what he’s talking about, and that he’s being ridiculous  and to go back to bed. He responded by angrily turning over and covering  his head with the blanket. Like a 5 year old. I rolled my eyes and went  back to sleep. I wake up a couple hours later, still slightly annoyed, but hopped in  the shower and proceeded to get dressed and ready anyways, so by the  time G woke up, we’d be able to go out for lunch like we had made plans  to do the night before. I wasn’t going to let anything ruin my last full  day with him. He, however, had other plans. I was sitting behind a partition in the room, finishing up the last  little bit of my makeup, when I hear, “ADRIENNE?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!”. To  which I replied, as would anyone else with a firm grasp on the English  language and possibly reality, “What?!”. WELL, that was the final straw for HIM, let me tell you! He doesn’t respond, so I figure something is wrong. I walk out from  behind the partition and he is curled up in a ball, on the bed, with the  blanket pulled up to his eyes, on the verge of tears. At this point,  I’ve dealt with far beyond my maximum capacity of this premenstrual,  crybaby, bullshit for the day, and bluntly ask him, “What the fuck are  you doing?!”. He ignored me for around 5 minutes, while I am asking him  such questions as: “Are you seriously mad because I responded with  “WHAT” when you called my name? What the fuck did you expect me to do,  bust out in song and dance?!“, "Are you still seriously upset about this  morning?”, “Why the hell are you crying?!”. He finally responded… “Never in my life have I met someone as unloving as you. I came to  you this morning, scared, looking for you to hold me, but you have not  loved me. I did not like how you said "What” to me, it was angry and  violent. I don’t deserve to be treated this way”. My response? A 30 second pause, followed by: “……………………. are you fucking for real?!?!?!?!?!?!”. The  argument went round in circles, until he realized I wasn’t going to let  him win and I wasn’t going to back down. So, he proceeded to call me a  troll, and go on a tirade of character insults, until I zoned him out  and started texting my friends that I might need rescuing shortly, that  he has officially lost his mind. I warned him that if this didn’t stop I  would leave, but he kept pressing the issue, and remained curled in a  ball, and hiding under the blankets. I told him that I wasn’t going to  spend my day off that I could of been at work making much needed money, or at the very least going out and enjoying the day,  sitting in a dark room with someone who is crying and insulting me. So,  again, I tell him his options are stop, or I respond to one of my 4  friends on standby, waiting for me to give the word to come get me. Even  STILL, I hovered my finger over the send button, and I said, “This is  your last chance, all I have to do is hit send – are you done?”. Nope! *sent* Then he was actually surprised when I was gathering my things and  making my way towards the door, he dumped me right before I left. I told  him HE did this, HE chose this, NOT ME. As I was walking out, I told him, “Call me when you grow up” and slammed the door. I was home within 15 minutes. I checked his facebook and saw that he was taking one of his long  showers, that usually last a couple of hours or so. I figured he’d calm  down and contact me to come back later, so I waited around, kept my  phone close by. Well, he DID text me, and told me he bought a plane  ticket to leave later that evening, that he couldn’t bear to be in  Austin all by himself. Even though his flight left the next morning,  but… okay. I decided to call him, because even though he had just spent the morning emotionally tormenting me, and he dumped me,  I didn’t want him departing Austin on such a horrible note. So, we  talked and he told me that the ticket for that afternoon is already  purchased, but he still has the ticket reserved for the next morning, he  asked me if I wanted to come back to the hotel and talk things through,  I said yes. Well, I get there and he is still being horribly argumentative with me. I  tried to remain calm, levelheaded, rational and do the whole 'kill 'em  with kindness’ shtick – I couldn’t hold out for very long, he pushed my  buttons too many times. I snapped on him. I went off on a tirade of my own. “Are you fucking serious right  now? You are a 25 year old grown adult and you’re sitting here, curled  up in a ball, crying, with the blankets pulled over your head. And WHY?  Because I didn’t want to cuddle you this morning? Are you fucking for  real? Do you know how pathetic that is?! You’re a grown fucking man, and  you can’t even stand up for yourself. You know, when we get into  arguments, I’d rather you punch me in the fucking face, than sit here  and cry like a little BITCH!”. It was so strange, yet miraculous – there was this pause and then he looked up at me with these Puss-in-Boots eyes (example: click here),  and said, “Oh my GOD, you’re right!” and snapped out of it. Even though  he was pretty quiet the rest of the evening, we had a great time.  Everything was fine! Even the next morning before he left, he told me  once again that I am the first person to talk to him and treat him like  an adult, like an equal, and that he owes me so much for how much I've  apparently helped him grow in the short time we’d been together so far.  We spent the rest of the morning talking about our move. He dropped me  off at home, we had a romantic goodbye kiss, and off he went to the  airport. This story is getting ridiculously long and time consuming, so let  me just say that he was awesome over the next couple of days, he pretended like he understood and cared about my emotional needs very well. But, as always, his insecurities and subsequential mania got the best of him. To make another long mini story in this gargantuan novel I’ve written  short – a few nights later, G decided randomly one evening, while I was  at work, and certainly not intoxicated, that he did not like  that I occasionally drink (even though in the hotel we discussed my  past, and he told me that my past is exactly that – as long as it stays  that way, we’ll be fine – I took his word for it. Ooops!). The only  thing I can think of that spawned his sudden “revelation” was that I  made it pretty clear one of the stipulations in regards to me moving, is  that he has to give me adequate time to say goodbye to my  friends, to have some alone time with them before he came out to Austin  to pick me and my belongings up, to share some goodbye dinner and drink nights with them.  He couldn’t understand that me wanting alone time with my friends was  not a suggestion that I didn’t want to spend time with him as well. Either way, he decided to call me several times at work, to where I had  to walk outside and talk to him, JUST to get my phone to STOP ringing or  vibrating – he made up this ridiculous ultimatum for me; either I  promise him right now that I will forever quit drinking, or were over. I  told him he is being completely ridiculous and there’s no need to even  be having this conversation right now. Still, I humored him and tried to  reason with him; I told him I would not promise him anything, that he  should just learn to trust me to not put myself into situations where a  drunken Adrienne can make poor decisions and that he should trust me to  do right by him. He responded with, “You’re absolutely right, but I  don’t think that I can date someone knowing they drink, I don’t think  we’ can be together, but I’m not dumping you”. He literally held a  conversation with himself consisting of that same sentence repeated, but  worded slightly different every time he said it. He then told me he made a facebook poll, asking his fans if they would  quit drinking if their significant other asked them to. He said, “Only  99 people said no, a few thousand said yes! What does that say to you?”.  I told him, “It says absolutely nothing – your viewer demographic  consists mostly of 16 year olds, who not only have no realistic life  experience, nor any relationship experience, they also are not of legal  age to drink and have no place participating in a poll talking about  alcohol consumption”. Pwned. And, thus, he deleted it. Still, this shit went on for hours, until he realized that, once again, he isn’t going to win, so he temporarily backed off. Honestly,  dude? So much nonsensical bullshit went on between us that what happens  after this, up until the last time we spoke is all one big blur.  However, something after this night happened, God only knows what  it was, that, once again, upset him. I remember us arguing, I remember  that once again I got dumped and once again he started sending me 5 part  texts messages saying how much he loves me, but he can’t handle being  “treated this way” anymore. I’m sure he told me I was being violent when  I was speaking to him calmly, I’m sure he said I’m disrespecting him  when he’s telling me everything that’s wrong with me, I’m sure he said  things like: “This is the final time!” and “You have not fought for  love!”. Blah, blah, blah. Basically, he called me and told me that if I  didn’t “drop everything” to go be with him in Los Angeles right now  (even though I was moving there in 2 or 3 weeks anyways), that this was  over and there was “no point”. What was scary is that he wasn’t being  frantic like he normally is when we fight, he was saying these things to  me as calmly and collected as if he were asking me the time of day.  this change in attitude made me start to panic, because I didn't  know how to handle it. So, for fear of losing him, or at the very least  losing him without having the upper hand and feeling rejected, I  entertained the idea of complying with his wishes. I asked him about my animals, he told me to figure it out myself. I  asked him about my job and money, he said figure it out yourself. I  asked him about my belongings, he asked me if I really need them and  then told me to figure it out myself. He told me the only thing he was  willing to help me with was the plane ticket there. I told him I’d do  what he wanted if he compromised a little bit – I told him there is  absolutely no way I am giving up my belongings, he said pack them up and  store them and he’ll pay for them to get shipped in a few weeks. I  asked him about working for him until I get my own job – he said the  offer still stands. My only real issues were re-homing my animals and  quitting my job – the latter I stalled on doing, out of fear that  something would go wrong and I’d be homeless and jobless. He gave me one week from that day to sort everything out and went ahead and bought my plane ticket. I  waited a couple of days, to see if he’d change his mind – but he  seemed happy and  things felt normal. So I went into work with the  intent of quitting, and I sent him a text saying, “I am about to quit my  job, you know this is real and official if I do – you have to PROMISE  ME that you’re not going to change your mind on this, and that I am not  going to end up without a home or means to support myself”. He promised,  I quit my job. As always, things went horribly, horribly wrong. A day later,  or perhaps it was even that same night, I went to my friends house and  paid for his fiance, who is a licensed massage therapist to fix my neck,  shoulders and back, because I have chronic pain issues (which G knows  about). He was fine with this, he was fine with me not Skyping him (in  fact he had laid off since he knew I was going out there in a few days,  and let me do whatever I wanted without bitching about it). It was when I  went home and made a facebook status update on my friends only, private  account – referring to my massage as a “sensual” one in an obviously  joking manner that he got upset. He saw my status, and called me, just  short of screaming. He started telling me that I have disrespected, and  publicly humiliated him, because I was writing inappropriate things on  my personal facebook. He told me that because I am bisexual, that by  nature I am inclined to be promiscuous and that I shouldn’t let anyone  but him touch me. That because I am bisexual, I cannot be trusted –  that I have been inappropriate with a member of one of the sexes I am  attracted to. (One of the, uh, two sexes that actually exist). I was so beyond flabbergasted that I made another status update, vaguely  saying that I can’t be trusted because I am bisexual. Yes, this was  unwise and very immature. My friends, not knowing who or what this was  about, commented on it, saying that whoever thinks that was is a  misinformed douchebag. He read all of the comments and felt like a  complete dipshit and got even more frustrated, except with himself, not  me – but of course, I bore the brunt of this. He dumped me. Again. Regardless of what he has said and done to me, I felt bad for hurting  his feelings and tried desperately to rationalize with me. I BEGGED him  to Skype with me. He finally accepted my video call, and all he did was  stare angrily into the camera at me and say absolutely nothing. So, I  tried making cute faces to make him smile, but he disconnected the call  and texted me saying that I disrespected him by mocking him. I asked him  again to Skype me, he refused. I messaged him on Skype to try and get  him to at least chat with me, he refused. He deleted me off his personal  facebook, so I sent him a message, he ignored it. I sent an e-mail to  his personal and business acounts apologizing for hurting his feelings  (which he didn’t deserve, but I also didn’t deserve being dumped),  begging him to talk to me. I called him multiple times, no answer. All I  got was a couple of texts saying that we’re over and he never wants to  speak to me again. Considering the severity of the situation, I decided  to back off and heed his wishes. I deleted all of his contact  information, from my phone or otherwise – as I said on Google+, I  ubsubscriped, unliked, unfollowed, and unfriended everything I could  think of. Basically exactly what I said on that infamous post on my  Google+ sums it up from that point on. He called me a few times while I was asleep, made that video of him  calling me while I was asleep, and texted me the next morning breaking  up with me yet again, though I had not spoken to him since the night  before. I went back to work, and as I wrote on Google+, and begged for my job  back. I told him the night before, that he has until 5:00 pm the next  day to change his mind about breaking up with me, because once I get my  job back I’m not quitting it again. Of course at 6:00 pm is when he  started frantically trying to contact me. Texting me, telling me he  needs to me save him, that he is dead. He started psycho dialing me  shortly after. Still, I was busy at work and decided to leave well  enough alone for the time being. When I finally found some down time at work, I texted him back. I asked  him what he was trying to accomplish by texting me, that he was the one  who broke up with me. I more or less conveyed to him that you can only  keep pushing someone away before one that, they don’t come back. That's  when his snarky STD commentary on his facebook and twitter started.  That’s where the STD test videos began. I was unaware of any of this  until I had gotten home from work – that’s when I wrote the Google+  post. I backed away, turned off my computer, and ignored anything having  to do with the situation. It was the next night, while hanging out at a friends house, that I  was formed of his continued immaturity and attempted smear campaign, so I  decided to sign on facebook and check it out for myself while I had the  support of my friends. That’s when the plot thickened – I saw that  Shiloh had added me to her personal account, and had sent me a message  saying that she saw what I wrote on my Google+, that she went through  the exact same thing with him and that if I need someone to talk to,  she’s there for me. Again, with the whole morbid curiosity thing – I  added her back, thanked her for her support and gave her my number and  told her to call me if she ever feels so inclined. Well, she felt  inclined 15 minutes later, unfortunately I was busy and unable to answer  the call. I figured I’d call her back the next day. And oh, that next day. Where I started my day talking to  Shiloh on the phone, and ended it with a 10 hour period of time, he  called me 27 times, left 13 voicemails, 10 texts, 4 videos, 4 comments  on Google+, an e-mail and a facebook message. There is probably more  that I am forgetting, but you get the point. In between this, I had  Shiloh calling me several times as well, because he was also calling  her, in the midst of calling me. I ended my night by drunkenly Skyping  her, making fun of his “shortcomings”, while Shiloh acted out with her  roommate how G would scream […]’s sisters name when they had sex – he  apparently told her that he used to fantasize about sleeping with […]'s  sister when they were married, and accidentally would call out […]'s  sister’s name when he would sleep with Shiloh. She also told me that  night that her and G had been seeing each other, or “talking” for a  year, prior to when they broke up (and had said it several other times  in various other conversations we had). They broke up in July, didn’t he  file for divorce from Skye in January? Again, I just feel bad for Skye. In G’s 13 voicemails (of which I have downloaded, saved  to a flash drive, and have made an explanatory video, featuring all of  the voicemails back to back, I was going to upload on YouTube if I  needed to – thanks to the wonders of Google Voice) – he starts of by  telling me that almost everything I am saying is accurate and true. That  he is truly sorry for all he has done, that he loves me, and more or  less is begging for me to take him back. That he hasn’t canceled the  plane ticket and if I text him and tell him I’m boarding the plane,  he’ll be there waiting to pick me up with flowers in hand. After that he  decides to randomly tell my voicemail how he had called Shiloh earlier  in the day to discuss her apparent pregnancy, and because she wouldn't  pee on a pregnancy test in front of him on Skype, that she wasn’t really  pregnant and that, “Yay! I’m not a Daddy”, or something to that effect.  Then towards the end, he starts going down a depressing, and  increasingly angry, spiral. The last voicemail threatening to “expose  me”, because he is angry with me for not responding to him in a whopping  10 hour period of time. He took it upon himself to post on his website a  completely unrelated LiveJournal entry I had made months prior,  directed towards the girl my ex-boyfriend left me for – as a rebuttal  to something she had written me. However, he, as well as most of his  followers, quickly realized he is an idiot and he deleted it an  hour later. After that he started sending me texts saying I don’t know  true love and he feels sorry for me, “Goodbye”, etc. Still, after all of  this, I did not respond or try to contact him one time. Over the next day or so, Shiloh called me REPEATEDLY (sometimes  crying hysterically), apparently seeking my advice on how she should  handle G, because apparently he was now doing the same thing to her,  that he had just done to me. Calling her repeatedly, saying how much he  loves and misses her, and is begging for her back. I even have a  voicemail she left me, saying that this was the 16th time he had called  her that day. He told her he had bought her a plane ticket (aka: got a  credit for the ticket he bought for me that was unused) to see him in  the next couple of days. She was calling me for willpower to say no to  his advances, but apparently my advice fell on deaf ears and her past  experiences were not enough to sway her from falling into his trap.  Though it was a trap she was seeking out – She made it very clear she  was only prying for information from both of us, to wedge herself  between us and utilize me as a stepping stool to get closer to him. That  blog post she made (and deleted shortly after) about us being friends  was complete rubbish – as days later she was making videos in his room,  on his camera, making fun of my private parts. When I had never said or  did anything to this girl to deserve being treated so poorly. In fact,  all I had ever done was try to be her friend and be supportive of her. She told me that she was going to  fly to go stay with her Mother (she also apparently told her Mother  this as well) to think things through. She even called me from the  airport, saying she was waiting to board her plane and was telling me  how excited she was to see her mother. When in reality, she knew full  well she was boarding a plane to go see G. When I got the Facebook message from her mother, confirming that she  was with G – I posted on Shiloh’s wall, saying that she didn’t need to  lie to me, what she chooses to do in her personal life is her business  – but that she needs to know if this fails, she has no one to blame but  herself this time and that I am removing myself from the situation. I  told her I wish her the best and deleted her as a friend. Aside from the  aforementioned videos, I never heard from her again.

Even  after being contacted by [redacted] and being told that the entire  time he was with me, he was trying to win back Skye, or today when I  noticed a facebook message sent a week into our relationship, from a  girl trying to warn me, claiming he was cybering her while he was with  Shiloh, and with me, all while trying to win back Skye – after all of  this, I just keep my mouth shut and remain backed away from the  situation. Due to the outpouring of support, I realized that people are  catching on and that I no longer needed to say anything – They are  digging their own graves. It’s just so unfortunate. I know I wrote primarily about the  negative aspects of our short lived relationship, but if there weren't  positives (and for fucks sake, with the amount of crap I had to deal  with, earth shattering, world rocking, positives), I wouldn’t of  stuck around through all of it. I really liked the boy, what can I say?  Against my better judgement, I really wanted it to work. I tried as best  as I knew how. What really sucks? We all know going through a breakup is bad enough,  but going through a breakup with hundreds of thousands of people being  involved? Mindfuck, much? There is my story. The sad thing is there is still more I could write about, but my brain is starting to throb. If you have any questions or want me to elaborate on anything,  please feel free to ask. Also: I apologize in advance for the  inconsistencies of writing formats, but I’ve been typing this off an on  for a good day or so, it was hard to keep the flow going.

16, 29 and 50?

16. What are some of your sexuality/gender headcanons?

I have a headcanon for every single character, but I guess the ones that are the strongest for me are: Tenko is a lesbian, Kokichi is gay, Nagito is gay, Hajime is bi, Chihiro is a trans girl and only likes men, Hiyoko is a lesbian, Kazuichi is bi, and uhh Byakuya is gay. I’d say ‘K1-B0 is nonbinary’ but he literally says it in the game, so that’s...pretty much canon. 

29. Was there a character you started off liking, but ended up hating?

To a certain extent, all the characters I hate started off like this. I don’t begin by hating anyone. I always try to like all the characters until they prove me wrong. But, there were characters that I actually got attached to at first and then I ended up hating the more the game progressed. Junko, first of all. When I met her in V3 (which was the first game I played), I thought she was kind of funny. But the more I learned about her in the other games, the more I realized that her writing was just terrible and obnoxious. She’s a bad character. She sucks. Then there was Yasuhiro. He was funny at first too, but then he just got so much more annoying and stupid as the game went on, until I couldn’t stand him. But the character this happened to the most was Shuichi. My god, Shuichi went downhill so bad. In Chapter 1 and the prologue, I liked him. I thought he was cute. But then after Kaede died, I got mad at the way he treated Kokichi. Still, it was like, okay-- he’s just a prude, and Kokichi is pretty annoying, whatever. I liked him when he was hanging out with Kaito and when he started being friends with Maki. But when Maki, Kaito, and Shuichi started their stupid clique and hung out together? I could not recover from that. Then Shuichi just walked around on this fucking snobby-ass moral high horse, constantly preaching at everyone all the time about how evil they were, when he hung out with a serial killer. He refused to talk to ANYONE other than Maki or Kaito. He was an outright demon to Kokichi all the time because “lying is wrong” but then defended Miss I-Kill-My-Friends-For-Money with his every breath. He just acted like such a fucking hypocrite with Maki and Kaito that it got rid of any justification for how mean he was to Kokichi. Also, I hate hypocrites. He came off as boring, snobby, and holier-than-thou. Because he got saddled with Kaito’s dumb strict moral principles (which Shuichi should be too smart for anyways), and then also got stuck defending Maki to everyone, even though she breaks those moral principles more than anyone else. The writers turned Shuichi into a camera for KaiMaki, and his only role in the story existed to emulate them. He was so fucking rude and hypocritical and preachy to everyone except the two people who broke all the rules he was yelling about. I hate him so fucking much now. What a waste of a character. 

Funny thing is, I almost did this with Nagito and Hajime both-- I was furious with the way Nagito treated Hajime after the Final Dead Room, and I was livid at Hajime for treating Nagito horribly the entire game. If I hadn’t gotten decent explanations for their actions from the writing, I probably would’ve ended up disliking at least one, if not both, of them. But the game did a good enough job of explaining why they did what they did so I didn’t just have to think “Nagito is a stuck-up snobby asshole and Hajime is a callous abusive jerk to people with mental illnesses”. That’s why Kazuichi is a strong contender for my favorite character sometimes. He’s the only character in all three games who never disappointed me even once. 

50. Which characters have the best fashion sense?

This is an easy one! As much as I love high-stockings-with-short-skirt combo, I can’t pick every single girl, and there are some looks that are better than others. Celeste in my opinion has the best. She’s so glamorous and fancy and goth. And then Nagito (minus his fucking ridiculous shoes), has a great grunge look, with that big messy jacket and the red paint and the skull chain. I love both of those looks. Nagito comes closest to my own personal fashion, and if you made Celeste more Gothic and less Lolita, she would too.