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carduelism · 2 years

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A collection of my thoughts after/during each chapter of The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt:

5/7/2022 - 14/8/2022

(Will contain spoilers, obviously)

Chapter One: Boy with a Skull

Jesus, I can already tell this is going to be a rough read for me. The start, the first line I believe, where he mentions his mother has set up my expectations for this book to revolve a lot around mother-hood and a relationship between a son and his mother.

WHILE I WAS STILL in Amsterdam, I dreamed about my mother for the first time in years.

As someone who has very strong ties to his mother and actively depends on her for advice and help I already know that this story is going to end up being super personal for me. (As well as the whole deadbeat father issue, though for me I’m still a little more attached to mine).

Theodore Decker, who I have nicknamed Little Guy for some odd reason, so far has been incredibly written and I am very excited for his character to be explored more in the rest of the novel. He so far he is definitely fighting for the stop spot of my top teen protagonist. He is a teen, flawed, anxious but also incredibly bright and not annoying or to standoff-ish (I find those traits very common when writing teens and it is so annoying lmao). Very very excited for more of Little Guy.

Also I love his mother, Ms Decker is what I will call her because I’m to lazy to recall a first name, even though I have knowledge that she dies I can’t help but appreciate her love and fascination for art. I aspire to be as knowledgable as her when it comes to discussing art pieces.

Chapter 2: The Anatomy Lesson

Ouch. This chapter really fuckin’ hurts, more than the last.

WHEN I WAS LITTLE, four or five, my greatest fear was that some day my mother might not come home from work.

The first line, once again, is all ready relatable which helped me immediately infer that this chapter would end up impacting me a significant amount.

Little Guy, Theo, helping the old man even when he himself was injured was absolutely beautiful. As I’ve stated before, I’m so glad that he isn’t just a bitchy little teenager and that he is actually shown to be decently selfless when it comes to the wellbeing of others.

Back on track to me being all angsty and sad about his mother though. Theo had so much goddamn hope that his mother survived the bombing of the museum, he had so much hope that he didn’t even stop to question if his mother was truly alive, he just ran home knowing that she would be there. The whole time he was waiting in the apartment waiting for his mother to come home it took everything in me not to cry though I have to admit I whimpered “No, Little Guy :(“ at some point which was cat judged me for.

I have not watched the film yet but I’m so excited to see the cinematography of this entire chapter (more specifically the scene where he gets the call about his mother’s status) because I just know that I’m going to get stabbed and bleed out in tears.

Chapter 3: Park Avenue

I haven’t finished the chapter yet but I’d just like to talk about how much I love Andy as a friend towards Little Guy. Like, I want him to be my friends because he sounds like a genuinely fun guy to be around.

Also like damn, the author definetly wasn’t afraid of saying ‘faggot’ lol. Not even 100 pages through yet but that already pulled out a full on slur lmao. I do doubt that it would be used again though, mainly because I really really hope that I don’t have to read about Theo getting bullied in depth.

��boys who tripped us and shoved us and slammed locker doors on our hands, who tore up our homework and spat in our milk, who called us maggot and faggot and dickhead …

I’m loving Andy but I want Boris now! I’ve heard about him and he needs to hurry up and be mentioned in the book, like come on man! I want to read about you being helplessly in love with Theo! (Boris and Theo’s whole thing has been the only thing spoiled to me so far, luckily.)

Back on Andy because something about him just completely messed up my reading schedule and I just have to speak up abt it.

the sleek little phone with an anime still of Virtual Girl Aki (naked, in porny thigh-high boots) on the lock screen.

Sir, Andy, my guy, we need to sit down and have a talk because I knew you would have a lock screen like that but I still prayed that he wouldn’t. The fact that it’s just straight up admitted makes me though more and as well as the fact that it just comes out of no where 💀 It was so serious—the possibility of Little Guy meeting some sort of family friend of his—but then this fucker pulls out his anime girl lock screen.

(Just read spoilers about him dying, sorry for bullying the dead boy lmao)

Chapter 4: Morphine Lollipop

I am up to just a bit into VI and of course I love Pips, I’m glad that she is okay and survived by a miracle but I’m all on board with her aunt taking her to Texas. Like yes queen, seperate the straights because Theo, Little Guy, this is not you. You just don’t know it yet.

Also also time for me to be more angtsy about my new found affinity with Little Guy’s daddy issues.

“Who knows? He ditched us.”

“Good riddance?”

“Well—” I shrugged—“I don’t know. Sometimes he was okay. […] There was a lot of yelling and stuff. It was mostly him doing it. But—” uncomfortably aware that I’d said more than I meant to—“it was mainly him making a bunch of noise. Like—oh, I don’t know, like when he had to stay with me, when she had to work? He was always in a really bad mood. I

This is the exact way that I think of my own father, make that of what you will, and I really despise how accurate and painful it is. What makes it so painful is that he wasn’t an ‘okay’ dad, he was a shitty dad and thats pretty evident. But since Theo was facing this abuse, a like me, he downplays it and just says he’s ‘okay’. HE’S NOT AN OKAY DAD LITTLE GUY! Now watch my continue to call my dad okay.

Just started XVII, by that I mean I’m like three paragraphs into it, and my god, HIS FATHER??

I stood frozen in the doorway. The voice was unmistakable: my father.

Mate I was just shit talking him and now he has appeared in the book, I goddamn jinxed it. If he dare puts up and act in front of the Barbours, acting all cute and stuff as if he’s a good dad, then I’m going to die right here right now. I really really hope he doesn’t get custody of Little Guy, like Hobie should be his new father please, not him. Praying to god that his father wont put a single hand of my boy, Theo.

Yeah, just finished the chapter, finished 1/5 parts of the book, and holy shit my boy is moving :(

Farewell to Andy, Kitsey, all the other Barbours, and maybe farewell Hobie. Idk the last line of the chapter was funky:

He pushed open the door, and I walked out of the house—for the last time, as I thought. But though I had no idea I’d ever be seeing him again, about this I was wrong.

Like, Theo! That’s really damn ominous my boy 😭 Why do you have to go see Hobie again and why are you so creepy about it. Do you need him to restore you a coffin because you murdered someone in the future? Theo????

I’m very excited for Theo to finally move and go to a new school because I really need some Boris right now and I’m tired of reading the book without him. Boris this part please.

Chapter 5: Badr al-Dine

Woo! They’re finally heading to Nevada which means more story and please please please means that Boris will introduce himself.

When Little Guy was thinking to himself about how he will miss Goldie and the other doorman but he doesn’t ever verbalise the thought because ‘it would come out gay’. Come on man, your internalised homophobia is showing as well as the toxic masculinity you probably gained from your father 😭😭

“I—” I was going to miss them, but it seemed gay to come out and say so.

Also like just as I began to think that damn, with a turn of events Theo’s dad isn’t an ass anymore and no longer an alcoholic, his dad had a change of heart and began to be an ass again. I had hope for you, Mr. Decker!

So… Little Guy is not very innocent and little anymore. He sure loves doing his drugs and drinking beer with Boris. He sure loves Boris. Little Guy has grown out of his nickname in only a few months, guess I have to start just calling him Theo again.

Chapter 6: Wind, Sand and Stars

The chapters are beginning to get ridiculously long so I think I’m only half way through this one but so much shit has happened lmao.

So Boris has a girlfriend, Kotku, who is eighteen, right? And then Theo comments how she is three years older than them so that makes Boris fifteen? Listen, I would maybe be okay if Boris was sixteen, it’s not ethical in any way but it is at least legal. Once again though Boris isn’t the person to go to if you need something done legally.

I love Boris but my god, if he was really and I would either be terrified of him (fifteen year olds are scary, okay?) or I would go out of my way to shit talk him everyday. Mate is a druggie so early into his life so I can tell it ain’t gonna get any better for him, poor bud. Actually nvm. Not poor bud, just remembered he said a racial slur twice. Was it in character? Yeah, I suppose, since he picks ups on english that strangers use, but was it necessary to include? No. Love ya’ Boris but you need to fix your vocabulary.

Alot of things happened when I stopped updating but let me scream about it in order:

Theo admitted that he and Boris have fucked. He was so defensive about it as well, not word for word but basically what he was saying; “I’m not gay, I swear, I’m just jealous about Kotku. No! Not because me and Boris have fucked before, I can’t even remember that! [insert a rough description about how it happened and describing an 0rg@$sm]”. This boy…

And yet (this was the murky part, this was what bothered me) there had also been other, way more confusing and fucked-up nights, grappling around half-dressed, weak light sliding in from the bathroom and everything haloed and unstable without my glasses: hands on each other, rough and fast, kicked- over beers foaming on the carpet—fun and not that big of a deal when it was actually happening, more than worth it for the sharp gasp when my eyes rolled back and I forgot about everything;

My guy… my boy… this is the gayest shit ever. I tried explain this to my mother as well (because when ever I mention a gay relationship in my book she is always convinced I’m just over-exaggerating and making everything gay lol) and it was awkward because I was like “um yeah so ma’ I think they are gay because they um-“ and then I just handed her the book and it was so funny because she was laughing at the fact that I can not say the word ‘sex’ in front of her without being embarrassed (something my father practiced with me lol, I can’t talk about anything sexual aloud anymore).

Jesus. I got a bit off-topic and personal but I’m back.

But next event in the story:

“Potter—” he followed after me.

“Yes?”

“There is something important I have to tell you.”

“Boris,” I said, turning, “what the mother fuck. What is it?” I said, as we stood and stared at each other. “If you have something to say, go on and say it.”

“Am afraid it will make you mad.”

“What is it? What have you done?”

Boris was silent, gnawing the side of his thumb.

“Well, what?”

He looked away. “You need to stay,” he said vaguely. “You’re making a mistake.”

When I was reading this I was gripping on the page (I’m actually reading a digital version so I was not quote gripping on the ‘page’, it was actually my bed sheet but that sounds like it belong in some smutty work) and freaking out. It didn’t hit and I didn’t even ask myself if this was about him being love with Theo and I just assumed it was about either more death, more debt or drugs. Glad it wasn’t lmao

Chapter 7: The Shop-Behind-the-Shop

Mediocre chapter lmao. This chapter was one of my fastest read throughs and nothing of severe note happened. Sure, Theo got temporarily adopted by Hobie and he might’ve had at least one actual conversation with Pippa (icky, get away from the woman Theo, I know what you are) but honestly nothing I was screaming about.

Chapter 8: The Shop-Behind-the-Shop, continued

Still mediocre and boring lol. Theo got into his weird school thing, good for him but jesus he got my anxiety going from the stress of waiting for an acceptance letter. He also found a hiding place for The Goldfinch but just gonna be honest here, shitty spot, like I wouldn’t trust that it hadn’t been stolen if it wasn’t constantly in my view.

Also like oh my god! His apartment is destroyed and he’s so fucking sad about ittt. Theo it’s gonna be okay :( I’m sure someone has your mother’s stuff. Having to hold back tears right now because my boyfriend keeps looking at me weirdly, he mustn’t see me cry over a fictional character (again)

Chapter 9: Everything of Possibility

This chapter already has me in shock; an eight year time skip? Really? Smh. We missed all the fun stuff like his first legal drink since his time with Boris (I’m sure Hobie wouldn’t have allowed him to drink while he was staying with his) and I suppose his time at school, like isn’t this dark academia? WHERE IS THE ACADEMIA

Wait but Platt is back and… both Andy and Mr. Barbour are dead?? Miss Donna skipped a lot of the fun stuff in this time skip, like Theo is learning his old best friend died a few months after his death. Theo is learning this way too late and I imagine he probably feels super guilty for not checking in on the Barbours when he first entered this city

Chapter 10: The Idiot

Donna Tartt went straight into this chapter and was like “yep, Kitsey and Theo are dating now and they have always been in love.” Like ma’am where are you getting this from. Kitsey and Theo being in love since childhood is even more of a stretch than Boris and Theo being in love since childhood.

Also Theo is being watch by people I’m going to assume are people Reeve had hired (Reeve’s men, probs gonna call em’ that) and this book is starting to get scary. Like what is Reeve gonna do to get The Goldfinch from Theo if not some form of abuse, manipulation or torture. A simple conversation with Theo no matter what will never end with him handing the painting over. Honestly even if Reeve threatened to kill his fiancé, my man honestly wouldn’t care much lmao.

Also Theo is currently look into a bar and I got spoilers that he and Boris meet in one so when ever a bar is mentioned from now on I just freak out and start to scream whenever one is mentioned. I’m a little fangirly (gender neutral) over them boys. He’s going in one now eeeeeekkkkk

OMG POTTER SCMFFHZDHDDHDNDN BORIS IS BACK BABBBYYYYY

HE WAS THE GUY OUTSIDE OF THE SHOP WANTING TO SEE THEO??? PLEASE HE WAS SO SCARED SOMEONE WAS OUT TO GET HIM AND IT WAS JUST BORIS WHO WAS WAITING A GODDAMN MONTH TO JUST TALK TO HIM. THEO UR SUCH A BAD BOYFRIEND FOR MAKING HIM WAIT SO LONG

Sorry. That was unprofessional, let me get serious again because who is this Myriam lady and why is even Boris scared of her. Also not this man biting his lip and seeming flustered around Theo, what a gay man he is.

Boris, Boris was scared to come back to Theo because he thought he would be mad. He thought Theo would be mad because he thought that he already knew that the painting was gone and that Boris stole it. Boris is an overthinker and it fucking hurts so much. I LOVE YOU BORIS AND THEO WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER TOO ITS OKAY BB BOY

Also the fact that Boris has stopped Theo from killing himself multiple times is fucking murdering me. He doesn’t want to loose him but Theo can’t see that and feels as if he is alone. Fuck me mannnn this book is so sad now. Boris asking Theo about what that cut was on his face and you cant tell me that Boris wasn’t praying that Theo didn’t cut himself on purpose. For sakes of more angst this chapter, I need Theo to try to kill himself again but then Boris saving him for one last time.

Bro, why did Kitsey think it was a good idea to cheat on her boyfriend WITH HIS BULLY. What were your thoughts my dear Kitsey, WHAT WERE YOU THINKINGGGG. My girlie is in a silly goofy mood and the ice is getting thinner. If Theo had a menty b over this then booooo Kitsey, you suckkkk, you suck Tom Cable’s dickkkkkk

So he confronted her after Boris told him to do so (very submissive of him /j) and my god… the result to me is quite amusing. The fact that Kitsey thought it was okay to continue to see Tom up until her and Theo’s marriage is absurd. Listen, I know some shit is going down that I don’t think I’ve quite gotten to but I need to punch Tom because it’s all 100% his fault but Kitsey my girlllll you should’ve told Theo about this shit before it blew up.

During the confrontation may I just say, Theo was micromanaging the way he spoke, reacted, and expressed his emotions and yeah, me too bud. Hyperfixate on trying to keep calm when you were obviously not.

ALSO PIPPA IS BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL!!! The way that Theo always describes her hair is quite hilarious though. Donna, you can’t keep describing her hair because you are eventually going to run out if words. Idc if Theo is obsessed with her hair, the descriptors are starting to get tiring. (Also he commented on how she had bitten down her nails or something and related it to how Boris did the same. Stop comparing your lovers to your boyf riend challenge!!!)

Um Theo just recalled him at 16 dating a 27 year old. Theo… are you good? You seem totally desensitised to this shit because of Boris and Kotku but DATING SOMEONE ALMOST 12 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU IS NOT GOOD! Theo baby boy you need to go to a therapist for more things than just the bombing, you were fucking groomed!

He’s currently at his engagement party (ik, why is it still happeninggg my guy she cheated on you) and some rando creepy dude is here but so is BORIS! Boris is fun and good and eeeeeeekkkkk I love him.

Chapter 11: The Gentleman’s Canal

I keep forgetting this is here and I keep ranting on discord instead of here so let me just catch you up on my thoughts on this chapter rq

I’m up to a section in The Idiot where Pippa and Theo are on a date and it’s so interesting… Pippa is another survivor of the bombing that almost killed both her and Theo and I feel like that love is so special to both of them but Theo is translating the nostalgia of their connection as something romantic when it truly isnt. Theo has this thing, I’ve noticed, where he thrives for nostalgia. Reason why he started dating his fiancé? She was his bestfriends sister during childhood. The reason he continues to do drugs even after Boris influenced him to do so? Sure, probably addiction but also the addiction to nostalgia. The reason he is in love with Pippa? Nostalgia. She reminds him of the last moments of his life when everything was truly in order

In addition to this, they play Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex during this scene in the movie which at first I thought was very odd (homophobic? Erasing his relation with a man and in turn making him crush on a girl?) but it definitely is used in a platonic way or at most from Theo’s perspective (where he displays his obsession with nostalgia as romance). *’sharing secrets with each other since we were kids’* very nostalgia based romance of you Theo

Chapter 12: The Rendezvous Point

So basically, Boris who was always characterised as the one of the ONLY characters to not simply give Theo and then push him away but instead gave him actual affection pulled a homophobia AND GAVE HIM DRUGS AND PUSHED HIM AWAY AHHHHH🔫🔫🔫 Theo is all sad about that (he was kinda happy abt the drugs but he’s an addict leave him alone)

And then shit got really bad right

Theo was aimlessly flicking through the television channels and he ended up watch a film his FATHER acted in and that triggered him to think about HOW MUCH HE IS LIKE HIS DAD and I’m literally going to die because me too Theo Decker!! Daddy issue mf bitch

Anyway I think he is gonna try to kill himself now so thats fun!

…I only said he was trying to kill himself as a joke but I think its serious now guys

I want to die,

RIP comfort chara 🤭🤭

Hahah heheh so cute Donna Tartt dont make him do this please

Act of rebellion. Life: vacant, vain, intolerable. What loyalty did I owe it? None whatsoever. Why not beat Fate to the punch? Throw the book on the fire and be done with it? There was no end in sight to the present horror, plenty of external, empirical horror to line up with my own endogenous

WOAH MY MAN JS WRITING THEIR LETTERS ALREADY HUH WHAT SLOW DOWN THEO HOLY SHIT HUH HUH WDYM IF HE ACTUALLY DOES THIS IM DONE

He’s talking about how his body feels like a marionette to his own actions and I literally cant rn

*insert picture of marionette from fnaf bc im to lazy to find one rn*

So he survived and he just compared Boris to his father…

Something in me had gone dead at the sight of him, almost like with my dad when I was a kid,

MY MOTHER WAS JOKING ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY PLEASE

Ten pages left 🤠 I am so fucking sad holy shit please dont finish I dont want this to end when this ends I am going to scream and I cant do that its 12:03 at night c’mon

3 pages…

Whoah im emotional and still reading but Screensaver by Wilbur Soot just started playing and my god I am litearlly dead. I have not heard this song in ages and it’s reminding me of the start of my MCYT phase but Im reading about the end of something im crying stfu Wimblur Shit

2 pages…

1 page…

I cant read it, at least right now. It’s like the square of chocolate, yk, I want to eat it but then it would be gone and I cant enjoy it after that. I dont want this to finish but here I go.

I have started the final page

Shit.

Closed the book.

It’s done Im so fucking upset 😭😭🤮

Anyway lets ignore that fact that I will never be able to experience this for the first time again and focus on what Mr Decker said

And—I would argue as well—all love. Or, perhaps more accurately, this middle zone illustrates the fundamental discrepancy of love. Viewed close: a freckled hand against a black coat, an origami frog tipped over on its side.

A freckled hand—Pippa’s presumably—against a black coat—Boris?—an origami frog tipped over on its side—Pippa.

OR YOU SEE MAYBE THEO COULD BE BORROWING BORIS JACKET IN A ROMA-

sorry.

No but I cant wtf is this ending Theo this isn’t good enough baby boy.

I am sad but guess no more saving this post to my drafts anymore. The Goldfinch is done.

#the goldfinch #donna tartt #theo decker #theodore decker #i love it #so far at least #i want to hug him #tgf boris #boris pavlikovsky #pippa blackwell #kitsey barbour #andy barbour #boreo #fuck this book #i am a mess #i feel ill #long post

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ejlovespie · 2 years

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Author: EJ (@ejlovespie) / Fandom: The Mandalorian

Summary: In an attempt to get away from you and the Mandalorian, Doctor Pershing injects you with a dangerous aphrodisiac. Luckily, Din is there to help you through it.

Pairing: Virgin!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Word Count: 4K

Warnings/Tags: NSFW (18+ only, minors shoo) sex pollen (so initial consent is iffy but they’re definetly both into it) / fingering / dry humping / unprotected p in v sex / Din’s first time / needy reader / fluffy fluff

A/N: I have been so obsessed with Din lately, the idea of this particular sex pollen scenario came to me while half asleep so don’t judge me..lol 🌸

Thank you @the-scandalorian, @that-one-gay-girl, and @deangirl93 for giving this one a read.

“Drop it!”

Through his helmet’s modulator, the Mandalorian’s voice growled with malice as he aimed his blaster between the eyes of the man who stood over your unconscious body. The man, an insipid scientist named Doctor Pershing, dropped the weapon quickly. Backing away from you, he held his hands up in surrender, eyes searching for an escape. Din’s stomach bottomed out when he looked down to find the weapon the doctor abandoned was an empty syringe.

Moving in closer, blaster still trained on the doctor, Din ran through a dozen plans in his mind. As his brain worked to find a resolution, his heart pounded violently and a mixture of emotions struck him all at once. Fury and concern were the most demanding but protectiveness, pain, failure, regret, and love raged within him as well. Shutting them all out, Din lowered his voice and used his body to convey intimidation and violence. He would kill this man for hurting you but first, he needed answers. He had to know what he was dealing with.

As Din stalked closer to his enemy, he demanded, “What did you give her?”

Panicked, Doctor Pershing stuttered and fumbled over his words as he practically tripped over himself trying to back away. “I-I, oh please, don’t kill me Mando. She attacked me! I-I gave her a mutated strain of a toxin found in a rare flower. She won’t die, well not as long as you stay with her. I-I'll tell you how to help her but you have to let me go!”

A mutated toxin… dozens of poisonous flowers ran through Din’s memory as he crouched down, blaster still trained on Pershing. He slipped one of his leather gloves off to feel for your pulse. It was beating rapidly under your skin, too fast for someone unconscious.

Fury threatened to cloud Din’s vision as he stood back up, slowly, and stepped over you to corner the doctor. Words sharp and eerily calm, he demanded, “Tell me everything I want to know or I will kill you slowly with my blade.”

Shaking, the man nodded and looked between your helpless form and the Mandalorian, towering over him. “O-Okay. Just don’t kill me. The flower toxin was from a Deafortunia, a rare botanic species found only on Sorgan. It’s..well it’s a very powerful aphrodisiac. I-I mutated the genome to create an imprinting effect on the victim.”

Heart rate spiking with panic, Din grew angrier and more impatient with the man’s fumbling explanation. Gritting his teeth, he growled, “EXPLAIN.”

Looking about ready to wet himself the doctor gestured to you as he hurried on, “When she wakes, and it won’t be long now, she will imprint on the first one she sees. Her body will require that person to take her. If she goes..unsatisfied, the toxin will drive her to madness and she could go into shock and die…You have to let me go. There isn’t much time now, she’s stirring. If you leave her to take me, she will find herself in a great deal of pain. If you force me to stay, you run the risk of her imprinting on me. You must let me go so you can take her away somewhere safe and private. If you tend to her yourself..she will survive and be well by tomorrow.”

Din practically vibrated with rage as Pershing explained. He knew now why he attacked her with his poison. If he was telling the truth, he had ensured his safe escape. The only way to keep Y/N safe was to take her back to the Crest, right now. He couldn’t go after the scientist, he was out of time as Y/N began to groan quietly. Making his decision, Din holstered his blaster before crouching down to gently pick you up.

Lifting you into his arms bridal style, he faced the doctor one more time and threatened, “I will find you and if she doesn’t survive, I will kill you.”

As the doctor stood frozen in place with fear, Din turned on his heel and ran. Moments later, as you began to wake in his arms, he turned your face to his chest and picked up speed. He had to get you to his ship.

You became fully conscious as the Razor Crest’s ground security protocols were initiated. Looking around groggily, you found yourself laying on your makeshift bed, boots and weapons already stripped off. What happened? You were out, hunting a bounty and then..nothing. Bringing a shaky hand to your head, you massage your temple and try to force the memories forward. Where was Mando? Looking over your arms and legs, you searched for bruises, blood, or any sign of injury and found nothing. Moving your hand, you brushed your hair aside and brought it to the back of your neck. You flinched as you rubbed your fingertips over a tender spot there. Probing at the skin, you found no cuts or wounds. No blood. Maybe Mando had already healed a wound with his bacta spray.

Bracing your hands on the bed, you slowly made your way to standing and called out, “Mando?! Are you here?”

You hadn’t taken but a few steps when he silently appeared. He stood across the room, deathly still as you wobbled unsteadily on your feet. Relief flooded your body as you saw him.

“Oh, thank the stars! What happened? Why is the back of my neck sore?”

Stepping toward Mando, you stopped when he took a sudden, jolted step back. His reaction, both odd and out of character for him, made your chest ache with worry. Quietly, you asked, “Mando..What’s the matter?”

You couldn't see the pain in his eyes as he registered the hurt in yours. Couldn't feel how his heart broke watching the slight tremble of your lips. Instead of answering you, Mando asked, “How are you feeling?”

Confused, and growing more uneasy you threw your hands up. “I feel fine..tired and a little dizzy I suppose but fine. Although, the back of my neck is tender. What happened? I don’t remember much of anythi-”

Your words cut off as a sudden shock of pain in your lower stomach had you doubling over. “OH! Dank farrik! What happened to me!?”

A pain, similar to the cramping you endured on your monthly cycle but amplified in intensity, consistently ravaged your body. You fell to your knees, breathless as your muscles and organs convulsed painfully. Mando flew into action as you crumpled to the steel floor, moaning in pain. You looked up into the T of his helmet as he kneeled next to you. Pulling his glove off, he placed two fingers on the pulse point in your neck. The touch was like a lick of fire on your skin. You burned as sweat formed on the small of your back and began to collect at your hairline.

Breathless you cried out, “It burns! Your touch, it-it burns. I-my-it hurts, Mando!”

Behind his helmet, Din’s eyes raked over you with panic as the sudden onslaught of pain had you curling in on yourself and practically screaming. Your beautiful eyes, usually so expressive, had gone glassy. Now, your lips trembled as your teeth chattered and your fists balled up so tightly, blood was forming where your nails dug into the flesh of your palms. Knowing your high tolerance of pain, Din knew you were in agony. He was going to hunt down and kill Pershing for doing this to you. That spineless, no good-

Unable to hold back, you screamed as the pain ramped up in intensity. Fire was consuming you, burning you from within. Fear for your life had Din yanking of his gloves and moving his callused hands to your face.

Heart banging against his rib cage, Din ignored the panic and fear overwhelming him. He couldn't lose you. Wouldn't lose you. Not like this, not when he could help you. Taking a deep breath, Din gently rubbed his thumb along your cheek and soothed, “Breathe, mesh'la, I’m going to help you.”

With tears forming in your eyes, Din had never seen you cry before, he removed his other glove before tentatively placing a hand at the apex of your thighs. Eyes trained on your face for any kind of change or reaction, he began to move his touch in slow circles over you, clenching his teeth as the heat through your clothes sent a bolt of lust straight to his groin. Nothing happened. You didn’t even appear to notice he was there, touching you. Moving his hand back up to the edge of your trousers, Din said a silent prayer as he dipped his hand into your pants. Moving his fingers over and down until he was met with liquid heat and softness. He would have groaned if you weren’t in so much pain. Although inexperienced, he found the small bundle of nerves quickly and rubbed you in slow circles, eyes still trained on your face for any kind of reaction. Din cursed and tried to ignore the fear that was threatening to debilitate him. This wasn't working.

After a moment with no change, Din pulled his hand out from your trousers. His enemy's words came back to him again as his thoughts raced for a solution. The doctor said you would imprint on the first one you saw. He had hoped this would work but now he knew. You would have to see him, his true face. Closing his eyes, Din took only a few seconds to prepare as he released the pneumatic seal of his helmet and pulled off his identity. His beskar helmet dropped with a loud clang against the metal floor. Focusing on you, Din pulled your body into his arms.

Placing a hand on your cheek, he leaned in and turned your blank eyes to look at him. “Y/N, cyar'ika. Look at me, please.”

His voice brought you out of your pain long enough to listen, to focus. As Mando’s eyes met yours for the first time, an overwhelming feeling broke through the haze of pain. All at once, lust, need, and desire turned the fire in your belly into something more feral. Something that felt close to being pleasant if it wasn’t so demanding, so hot. The heat between your legs pulsed as the cloth covering your nipples suddenly became too rough. It was like sandpaper on your skin. A needy moan escaped your lips as you took in Mando’s eyes for the first time. They were the most beautiful shade of caramel brown. A fascinating color that was slowly darkening as his pupils dilated.

Your need for him hit you so suddenly, you gasped as your sex clenched around nothing. You ached to be filled, ached for this warrior of a man who was holding you so protectively to his chest. Staring up into his dark eyes, you whispered, “Mando, I-I want you to touch me, I need you to. Please, oh maker, please.”

You couldn't care about how your plea turned into begging. You had never begged for anything in your life but there was no hiding your weakness now. Swallowing, Din hugged you tighter and moved his hand from your cheek to grip your waist. He wanted to hear you say his name, his real name. If he was going to do this, break his code and give himself to you, it had to be fully. “It’s Din, mesh’la. My real name..is Din DJarin.”

With his final confession, the last part of himself kept secret from you eviscerated, he leaned in and kissed your soft, trembling lips. The kiss was sweet for only a moment before fire consumed you. Gasping at the throbbing need between your legs, your hands reached up to grip the soft brown curls at the nape of Din’s neck. You gasped and his tongue swept over your lips before dipping between your teeth to claim your mouth. Moaning, you couldn’t fight the sudden urge to wrap a leg around Din’s thick, armored thigh. Settling him in between your legs, flush against your heat, you began to move against him, using him to satisfy your lust. Lost in the animalistic need that was consuming you, making you dizzy, you broke your lips away from Din’s to place wet, greedy kisses on his neck. Your nerves felt like they were on fire in the best way as a climax began to form, slowly and steadily. Sweat dripped down your back and beaded on your upper lip as you moved faster and harder against your Mandalorian. Din was transfixed by you, heart racing and mind reeling, he watched your face as pleasure and lust overtook you. He had pictured this in quiet moments, lying alone in the dark but truly witnessing it in the light of day, was more than his imagination could have conjured. You were beautiful. A vision he never thought he would be lucky enough to behold.

“That’s it, mesh’la. Good girl. Take me, use me however you want, I'm yours. From this day on to the rest of my days, I’m yours. Stars, you should see yourself right now. Can I touch you?”

His words, unfiltered and raw without his helmet pushed you closer to bliss. You practically screamed out, “Yes!”

Lowering you down, Din carefully pulled off your tunic, tossing it aside, before unwrapping your chest coverings. At the first sight of your breasts, Din’s mouth went drier than the desert sands of Tatooine. You were perfect. The sight of you bare underneath him made him dizzy. At the first touch of Din’s hands on your breast, you bit your lip and whined, “Oh, Din..You feel so good. Please touch me more.”

Din massaged and kneaded the soft and supple flesh before moving his fingertips over your pert nipples. When your eyes practically rolled back into your head and your thrusting against this thigh became more erratic, he focused his attention there, rubbing his thumb slowly over each one. Curious, he gently pinched one and moaned softly as you began to stutter, “I-yes, oh yes, Din! I’m about to-I-o-oh my stars, don’t stop!”

Eyes flying up to his face, you came apart as Din growled and increased the speed of his touch over your sensitive nipples. The tight band in your core snapped as liquid heat consumed you and bright light momentarily blinded you. Sweat dripping, you ground yourself hard against Din’s beskar clad thigh and rode your pleasure out as he pinched and flicked your nipples. When you began to slow, Din continued for you, rubbing his thigh against you to make sure your pleasure ran its course before stopping. He was aching for you, steely and desperate in his pants. Din longed for you to reach out and touch him, to invite him to touch you or initiate more, but he wouldn't-couldn’t ask for it. Swallowing, he watched your eyes refocus and held his breath, waiting to see what you would do. His heart would break if you backed away, disgusted by him or what you had done together. He nearly cried out in relief when you reached for him.

Voice barely above a whisper, he asked, “What do you want mesh’la? Tell me, Y/N. I’ll do anything for you, my girl.”

“I want all of you, I need to feel you inside me. Take me to bed Din, please. I’ve longed for you, for this, for so long.”

He didn’t need to hear anymore. Sliding back, Din pulled you into his arms and lifted you from your spot on the ship’s cold metal floor. The loud thumping of his boots matched your heartbeats as he brought you to your bed and gently lay you down on the blankets. Kneeling at your feet, he reached for your trousers and paused only long enough for you to nod before stripping you bare. Pulling off what was left of your clothing, he stood and stared down at your blessedly naked form. Maker, you were beautiful. More beautiful than the stars of the galaxy or any planet he had ever seen. Eyes fixed on you, he removed the metal plates of his beskar, letting them fall haphazardly to the floor before unclasping his tattered cape, removing his boots, and unzipping his flight suit.

You stared up at Din as he shed every piece of his armor. You wanted to know what he was thinking as he shared himself with you for the first time. Although his body exuded a poised strength, he stared down at you with so much vulnerable emotion on his face, you wondered if he even knew he was doing it. He would never have needed to hide his facial expressions before while wearing his helmet. You wondered if he knew how his eyes shone or how his jaw clenched tightly. Your eyes raked over him as he undressed. Din’s skin was a lovely, warm shade of tanned brown. You had only seen flashes of it while assisting him in healing wounds that he couldn’t reach. Now, taking him in all at once, your mouth practically watered as your gaze roamed over his taught, broad muscles and the myriad of scars decorating them. He had a warrior’s body, a Mandalorian’s body. Strong, powerful, capable. Your eyes roamed over the dips and ridges of his abdomen before dropping farther down. Slowly, watching you watch him, Din stripped out of the last bit of his clothing. As his underclothes slid down his strong thighs, you trembled in anticipation at the sight of his manhood.

He was large, impressively so, and thick. Nothing could have prepared you for the sight of this man, filled with so much power and prowess, standing before you ready to give up everything he knew, everything he vowed to be. You stared at him for a long moment before meeting Din’s eyes. He was waiting for you to react, waiting for you to say something. Your breath hitched as his eyes reflected his thoughts to you. Let me be enough. Don’t turn me away now.

Licking your lips, you whispered, “You’re truly stunning, Din. All that beskar is covering up the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. Please, lie down with me..I want to touch you.”

With a relieved breath, Din made his way to you, lowering himself down and lying next to you on your blankets. His hand gripped your waist, the touch setting your nerves on fire again. Placing your hand on his, you brought it up to your nipple as you reached for Din’s hard shaft, resting against the skin of your belly. He inhaled sharply as your hand wrapped around his length. Stroking him, up and down a few times before rubbing your thumb over the tip. He felt incredible in your hand, like the finest velvet wrapped around steel. Din made a guttural sound, deep in his throat and suddenly, you had to have him inside you. Sliding your body underneath his, you guided Din to move himself fully on top of you, loving the way his knees caged you in. He was so big on top of you, excitement and anticipation made your body shake. Looking up into his eyes, you found them filled with a raw emotion as you guided his length to your entrance.

“Have you done this before?”

He shook his head once before gripping himself and entering you slowly, one agonizing inch at a time. Your combined sighs and moans echoed off the Crest’s walls as Din fully sheathed himself inside of you. Pure heaven had him closing his eyes for a moment. He had to collect himself before coming too fast at the first feeling of your body wrapped around him. You breathed in deeply as you adjusted to his large size, trying to accommodate him. Finally, opening his eyes, Din began to move slowly inside of you. It was torture. You needed him closer, needed him deeper. Overwhelmed with emotion and aching for more, you bent a knee and hooked it around Din’s waist. The change in position deepened his slow movements, causing him to drive into you more intensely than anyone had before. Din groaned and picked up speed as you cried out in pleasure. Unable to stay still any longer, you moved with him, grinding yourself against his body, needing to feel everything he had to give you. Arms reaching up, your hands gripped his shoulders before moving over his golden skin to the muscles of his back. Your nails dug into his flesh as you held onto him tightly. You were truly connected, moving and breathing together as one.

“You feel so good, Din. You fit inside me perfectly. It’s never felt like this before. I-oh maker, you’re so deep. Please don’t stop..I want you to fill me up with you.”

Your words were like a hot blade threatening to split Din in two. Fire ran through him and he reached for the bundle of nerves at the juncture where your bodies were connected. Finding it, he began to rub fast, deliberate circles over you. He wouldn’t allow himself a release until you had been satisfied again. He was desperate to feel you cum with him inside of you.

“Yes, Y/N. That’s it mesh’la. My beautiful girl. I will give you everything I have, it’s yours, but not until you come apart for me again.”

With his words and persistent fingers, your orgasm finally came. It slammed into you hard and faster than a hyperspace jump. You didn’t hear Din stutter and curse as you began to pulse and flutter around him, squeezing him tight as he gritted his teeth and continued moving inside of you. Your vision went white and you lost the ability to think as you babbled praises, explotives, and gratitude through the best orgasm you had ever experienced. It seemed to go on forever as silent tears of relief and joy streamed down your face. Din cursed again as he came, unable to hold back any longer, coating your walls with his release.

Consumed he yelled, “Maker!” as bliss overtook him.

Gripping him tight as he slowed, you leaned forward and kissed his lips. The strength slowly left your bodies as you looked up at Din and studied his face up close for the first time. He was so handsome. Moving your hands to his face, you ran your touch along his dark facial hair and then his lips. He had a strong nose and little crow's feet near his eyes. He was looking down at you with so much softness. This man, Din DJarin, was so different from who you had pictured when you first met the Mandalorian. This man gave everything up to help you, to be there for you. His eyes were tender as he turned his head to kiss your palm.

Knowing what he sacrificed and the gravity of that decision, a sudden guilt formed in the pit of your belly, heavy as a rock. “Oh Din, your vow-I, I’m so sorry. I had dreamed about this, about us… but I never would have asked. Never would have made you choose.”

Leaning in to kiss your forehead, Din smiled and hugged you tightly, “No, don’t apologize cyar'ika. You’re worth more to me than any creed or vow. From the moment we met, I knew this was inevitable. You’ve changed me, Y/N. I love you. I always have and I promise you, for as long as I am breathing, and maybe even after that, I will love you. I will protect you till my dying breath. I swear it."

A/N: As always, likes, comments, and rebloggs are greatly appreciated! This is my very first Mando fic so let me know what you think! Should I write more Din stories???

**Cover and dividers made by me**

Tags!: @champagnetoastie @tragerlover

#the mandalorian #sex pollen #mando smut #din djarin smut #din djarin

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apenapaperandadoofus · 3 years

Text

What??? Amanda is posting something MM related after SUCH A LONG TIME??? What has the world come to??!

This is a small drabble i did and since I have everything for tomorrow ready I decided to spoil you all for a bit~

Mornings with the RFA+ V and Saeran (tell me if y'all want Vanderwood+Rika+Unknown, Suit Saeran, Ray etc etc!)

Zen:

He will kiss you to wake you up, his hair still wet from the shower he took after going for a run. After you open your eyes he will smile and say "Good morning beautiful~ Did you sleep well?"

He will have made some food, ever since you moved in with him he began cooking, and he's not exactly a professional chef but he's not that bad.

After you get ready for work, while you're checking your outfit in the mirror Zen will come up being you and wrap his arms around your waist while kissing your neck.

Afterwards you will both leave on his bike.

Sometimes.

There are other times where you end up having to put your clothes on again since someone couldn't wait till you got home if ya catch my drift~

Yoosung:

While he's a student? PANIC PANIC PANIC "OH GOD YOOSUNG THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU NOT TO STAY UP LATE WITH LOLOL"

"IM SORRY I JUST NEEDED TO GET THE SPECIAL ITEM-"

"SPECIAL ITEM MY ASS YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR YOUR MATH TEST"

"wE hAvE a WhAt NoW?!"

Just chaos.

After you both settle in a get jobs and such...well it's the same thing

"HONEY WERE IS MY SUPER SUIT COAT??!*

"IT MUST BE SOMEWHERE IN THE WASHING ROOM HURRY UP TODAY YOU NEED TO OPERATE MRS. JENNIFER'S CAT"

"wE hAvE tO wHaT nOw?!"

Jokes aside, on the weekend when you two are just chilling and such, you will wake up to him hugging you tightly, his head on your chest. After you wake up he will give you a cute dorkish smile and then he will cook you breakfast!

Jaehee:

Mornings with this woman must be freaking amazing HOLY CRAP IMAGINE BREAKFAST!!!

She, of course, gets up pretty early (thankfully not as early as before and now she gets at least 8 hours of sleep thank goodness.)

After she wakes you up with a cute forehead kiss, you two get ready for breakfast and to open the shop. While you eat you'll either check some celebrity news or just have some musical soundtracks in the background, while the two of you eat. Once you're done, you will go to the coffee shop, and Jaehee will help you tie your apron. Then, the coffee shop opens and the day begins!

Jumin:

What I'd give to wake up to this man OH MY GOD

Jumin is usually up before you when he has to work. If you want to eat breakfast with him he will kiss you to wake you up, and then give you the biggest smile. When he starts getting ready, you will go to his tie drawer and choose one for him (AGH TJE DOMESTICITY I'M ABOUT TO TEAR UP YOU ALL KNOW THIS WOULD BE SUPER IMPORTANT TO HIM A G H BABY!!) and then he'd try his best to not smother you with kisses while you tie his tie.

On days where he doesn't have to work, he will wake up with you in his arms. Then he'll cook some breakfast and bring it to you for you both to eat it in bed, while you cuddle and watch TV, with Elizabeth purring by the foot of the bed.

The two of you will be hugging each other while you whisper words of love and give each other lazy kissed. Most of the times it always leads to something more wink wonk.

Saeyoung:

He will be your personal alarm clock. Like literally. He will start going BEEP BEEP! WAKE UP! TIME TO GO TO WORK! BEEP BEEP! And immediatly grab you and give you a huge ass love attack.

While you get ready he will cook breakfast along with Saeran, it's their sort of brotherly time. St first Saeran hated it but now you all know he secretly loves it ;D

If Vanderwood is over then he'll probably be the one cooking lol (with Saeyoung annoying him in the background pft)

When you don't have to go out, then he will wake up around 10am, and nuzzle his face closer to you. Those days, since you both seem to have all the time in the world he spends it all with you. He's a bit more serious, and will not let you go unless you have to go and pee or something. We call those days the Saeyoung Cuddling Day, where you both just spend it with each other the whole day (this man is really touch starved don't judge him sjsbsbd)

He wakes up pretty early tbh, mostly because he likes the whole morning vibe and the sky and such. It gets him inspired. He will let you sleep in as long as you want, but will wake you up if he has made breakfast. You will both eat it out in the terrace (? Balcony? That thing sorry i can't english ajdjdnd) and listen to some orchestral music.

Also this dude definetly does mediation or yoga and shit, YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE. He will take fifteen minutes and stretch, and like do mindfulness and such.

If you have to go to work he will kiss you and bring you the lunch he made (he's a house wive let's be honest here.) Then he will begin painting.

Saeran:

Hugs hugs hugs. Kisses kisses kisses.

He's always up before you, no matter what. When he wakes up he will trace his finger against your cheek, touching your face and admiring how goddamn beautiful you are and wondering what he did to deserve such an ANGEL!!

He will wake you up with some flowers, and as soon as he has breakfast done, and it's always your favorite food! Also the food is always decorated with like flowers or hearts or something along those lines (so CUTE)

He's a house wife too and you can't convince me otherwise.

If you have to go to work he will be like s puppy. Like an actual puppy.

He will give you the puppy eyes and be like PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME.

Ok not like that but he's sad if you have to go ajdbdb

He does do other things while you're gone tho, sometimes he'll have Saeyoung over, other times he will focus on the garden, and he'll also work for Jumin and stuff.

But everytime he hears something outside he'll think it's you and get all excited.

On days you two don't have to do anything, they'll be spent with you both laying in bed, kissing each other and cuddling. This man is also touch starved so please give him some love (or else ಠ◡ಠ)

#mystic messenger #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jihyun mysme #mysme #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #choi bois #mysme zen

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hwangsies · 4 years

Text

GALVANISING GREEN

(definition: galvanising (adj): to be affected by something as if by electricity)

pairing: slytherin!hyunjin x slytherin!reader

summary: hyunjin convinces you to break into professor longbottoms greenhouse with him at night, however he didn’t expect you to snoop around and get intoxicated by a plant that doubles as a strong aphrodisiac.

warnings: light angst, bad attempt at lining this up with the generation of harry and co’s children lol, somewhat involuntairy intoxication?, hyunjin is cocky, long flashback again(shocker!) smut as in: implied oral (f receiving), fingering

6.2 k words,

enjoy <3

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(read part 2 here)

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"Psst" you furrow your brows as you concentrate harder on the essay you’re writing for your herbology class.

"Pssst" you hear from your right again as you shake your head.

"Pssssst"

"what??" You snap your head to the right to meet victoires green-turqoise eyes before she flicks a piece of paper at you.

'Open' she mouths to you before giggling inaudibly.

You roll your eyes at what your gryffindor best friend might've just wasted 1 good minute of your time on.

Normally you arent this persistent on getting things done instantly, but you know herbology isn’t something you’re talented at.

If there was a word to describe the opposite of a green thumb, you would use it to describe your talents in herbology.

Every plant you try to be nice to (ranging from harmless to deadly), has either died, attacked you or did nothing good for your grade.

So, already slightly pissed off, you open the neatly folded piece of paper.

Her handwriting is awful, and because she hexed it, the font dances around so it takes you a second to decypher what she had written.

Hwang keeps looking at you like you're his next meal, babe!

Once you read it, a scribbled version of the heart eye emoji appears below the words, slowly opening its mouth to have little drops of animated drool rolling down the paper.

You feel the blood rushing up your neck as you look up, across the long table you were sitting at and to the one next to it, where yours and hyunjins eyes meet.

His lower lip is trapped by his teeth, when he realises you are looking back at him, he releases the rosy flesh and chases it with his tongue before trying , yet failing, to hold back a grin.

You look at victoire next to you.

She grinns widely and whispers, almost completely inaudibly "attagirl"

At which you hastily shake your head and stick your tounge out at her before quickly gathering your things and leaving the big hall with victoires quiet snickering still in earshot.

If she only knew, you think to yourself as you rush down the hallway , pressing your books tighter to your chest.

~flashback to three days ago~

You groaned and let your forhead fall onto your herbology book.

'I hate this' you muttered to yourself in a , what you felt like, never ending loop.

"I feel that" you got startled and whipped your head up as a yelp slipped past your lips.

Hyunjin grinned at you before draping a cloak over the chair and taking a seat across from you at a small table in the slytherin common room; his own books in his hand.

You chuckled embarrasedly as you ran your hand through your hair, trying to make you look somewhat presentable for the handsome boy.

"Dont worry, i dont judge you" he smiled and plopped his books on the table as well "stuck on herbology too, huh?" He peeked over.

"Yea, professor longbottom is going to behead me" you joked "i dont get it, how am i supposed to write an essay about my experiences with magical plants when all i ever get them to do is...die, or nothing at all" you shook your head in defeat.

He giggled cutely as he gathered his chin-length blonde hair in a low pony.

You couldn’t help but stare at him, the way the yellowish lights of the doungeons illuminated his features was too perfect.

The feline eyes ,the blunt nose and his thick lips. In combination with his sharp jawline and dark eyebrows, it was easy to be intimmidated by his looks.

You kind of had a thing for him for a while now, but then again so had almost every girl in your year. Him and his best friend james were by far the most good looking guys in your year.

The difference between hyunjin and his best fried however was that his friend knew he looked good and liked it to be known and acknowledged.

Hyunjin was open-minded and sweet, aslo a little shy from time to time, but he also had his cocky moments, especially with girls.

So they weren’t that different, both being players and heartbreakers to a certain extent.

They were popular due to their success in each of their quidditch teams, hyunjin being the seeker for slytherin and james for gryffindor, following in the footsteps of his famous father.

They started out as rivals but became inseperable over time, successfully breaking the stereotype that gryffindors and slytherins couldnt be friends.

Nowadays the only things they’d get competitive about was quidditch and girls.

Even though hyunjin and you were in the same house and year, you didnt have that much to do with each other.

Due to him being more popular and, well, more talented in everything he did; but also because your friendgroups rarely overlapped.

There was this one time in the 5th year where you two were close to becoming friends.

He had asked you for help with his little cousin who had started dating someone you used to be friends with, around that time you noticed that you liked him for the first time.

In the end, his cousin broke up with said boy and you somehow lost sight of each other again.

And so the crush on him kind of faded into the background, it wasnt something you were always thinking about, but you knew it was there when you spoke to him or when he was too close.

But the stories that you heard from other girls kept you from imagining more with him.

"I dont even know what the last plant was that he showed us in class, i always feel like sleeping" he said laughingly, before opening his book and opening his pot of ink as well.

You chuckled softly in response.

You watched him for a few seconds, reading his book, scratching the back of his head and furrowing his brows while his lips pushed fowards in a pout so cute, you would be insane if you didnt want to kiss it away.

After what felt like an eternity, you looked at the clock to see it was already past 11.

Since it was a friday and you didnt have class the next day, you didn't jump into bed immediately.

"This is bullshit" hyunjin muttered and looked up "what the hell do i know about what this plant looks like, i dont even know how to pronounce the name" he groaned, slightly frustrated.

He pointed to the name written in his book and showed it to you “look”

"Oh, i think i've seen this name on a pot in professor longbottoms greenhouse" you recalled.

"Yea?" You nodded at him.

"Okay" he closed his books and stood up "lets go"

"Huh?" You looked up at him confusedly.

"Lets pay the greenhouse a little visit" he grinned.

"Have you gone mad? No way, do you know in how much trouble we could get into?" You asked rethorically.

"Chill, james lent me this" he held up a dark brown cloak.

"What is that?" You asked, just as unbelieving as before.

"His dads invisibility cloak" he answered quickly "come on, we'll stay there 10 minutes tops, i just want to see what that plant looks like"

"Okay, well have fun doing that, alone" you retorted.

"Noo, y/n i need you to show me to the plant, you know where it is" he pouted.

"Please" he was definetly using his charms, which is why you felt so stupid when you sighed an ‘okay’ after he begged a few more times.

You closed your books and got up as well, hyunjin quickly draping the cloak over the both of you.

"You go in the front, you're smaller" he commented.

"Allright" you muttered and moved in front of him.

"We have to be quiet when we go outside, or the fat lady is gonna snitch on us" you felt his breath over your ear.

"okay" you said shortly, getting nervous over the fact that he was this close behind you.

Once out of the commonroom you walked up the stairs managing to do so without tripping over each other and blowing your cover.

Once you arrived on the ground floor, you headed for the back door, which brought you to the garden and the greenhouses.

The moment you reached out your hand for the door handle, it got pushed open slowly.

Hyunjin pulled you back instantly and pressed himself with his back against the stone wall as he gripped your waist with one hand and held the other over your mouth because somehow he sensed how close you were to yelp out.

What he didn't know was how he made the situation worse for you because your back was pressed against his firmly built chest and your lower back against a certain bulge.

"shh" he breathed against your ear, so quietly you almost didn't hear it.

Mr filch groaned as he stumbled inside and fumbled at the doors lock, the door itself still wide open.

You felt hyunjin push against your waist slightly from behind to get you moving, so you complied.

Quickly rushing outside, you got startled at the loud bang of the heavy door falling close behind you two.

He removed his surprisingly soft hands away from your face, his body however didn't move an inch.

You slightly turned around to him in disbelief.

"now what?" you started freaking out, because how were you going to get back inside?

"what?" he asked back.

"how in the hell are we going to get inside again smartass? He locked the door" you gestured with your hand.

"alohomora?" he answered cockily, at which you flicked his forehead.

"you've been here for 7 years and don't know that that doesn't work on the main doors?" you asked infuriated.

"okay, chill. I know some other ways" he said calmly, still rubbing his forehead.

"what do you mean chill?? What other way-" he cut you off.

"just trust me alright?" you couldn't see him well but his eyes still sparkled in the dark.

So you just sighed.

"come on" he carefully pushed you forwards by your waist; you were pretty sure he would remove them after a few seconds but they stayed there until you entered the greenhouse.

He quickly discarded the cloak and threw it onto the big wooden table in the middle of the spacious house, next to a big book on 'advanced herbology'.

"lumos" you said, making the tip of your wand light up; hyunjin mimicing the same thing.

"now, where did you see this plant?" he asked you.

"uh, I think it was over there in the corner" you pointed to the other side of the house.

"okay" he mumbled and made his way over there.

You looked around yourself and looked at some of the plants, when you heard a thump of some sort.

You whipped your head around to look for hyunjin, you spotted him rubbing his forehead.

"nothing happened" he raised his hands playfully.

You sighed in relief "hurry up, and try not to kill yourself"

"why?" you could hear his grin "cause you'd miss me?" he snickered.

"no, because I’d wanna do that myself if we get caught" you retorted, at which he chuckled.

"ah, got it" he said, holding his wand closer to the plant in the far right corner of the house to get a good look at it.

Turning around, a shimmering dark green flower caught your eye, it shined as if it was reflecting the light from your wand.

You took a few steps towards the window sill, the mysterious flower was standing on, in an equally green pot, on which in a deeper green the words 'galvanising green' were engraved on.

It was sparkling, yet there was a glass dome over the flower; which was weird because no other plant had anything of that sort placed over them.

You thought it was so pretty: the way it sparkled, some sparkles leaning more into a teal color, others more in a deep grass green.The stigma, which was protruding out of the petals was pulsating in a dark ocean green, it was as if it hypnotized you. inviting you to free it and take a closer look.

Slowly you lifted up the dome.

"okay lets go" you heard hyunjin speak somewhere in the distance, but it was uninteresting because the flower was drawing you in and nothing else mattered.

"y/n what are you doing" he seemingly came closer, making his way through all the pots and plants standing around.

After placing the small dome on the window sill, next to said flower; you got closer to it with your face.

"y/n!" hyunjin sounded stern "you don't know what that is, stop it"

Still, you took a whiff of the sprakling plant and it felt like a punch against your chest as it flooded through your lungs, throwing you back instantly.

You gasped for breath as you stumbled backwards, right into hyunjins embrace as he leaped fowards to catch you from falling.

"shit" he slowly sat you down on the ground and got in front of you "fuck y/n" he patted your cheek lightly when you coughed.

He looked up at the plant and quickly got up, placing the small glass dome over it again, holding his cloak covered hand over his nose and mouth.

"galvanising green?" he muttered, reading the inscription on the pot before looking back at you sitting on the ground and holding your chest.

Crouching down to you, he held a hand onto your forehead "are you okay?"

You cleared your throat a few times "uh-mh- yea I think so"

He nodded, carefully holding up his wand to look at your face a little better; your cheeks were a little rosy but other than that you looked normal.

"normally we should go to professor longbottom if something like this happens, but he would kill us right now" he chuckled worrily before his gaze fell onto the big book on the table in the middle of the house.

"I'll just check out the plant to be sure okay?" he said, you nodded, smiling embarrassedly.

He got up and quickly got his hands on the thick 'advanced herbology' book, opening the heavy sides and turning the pages.

"I don't even know why I did that" you spoke softly.

"its okay" he said genuinely.

"no, I'm serious, it was as if it controlled me or something" you kept going.

"hmm" he hummed, clearly to busy looking for said plant in the huge book and not listening.

"phhuuuh" you breathed out after a minute of silence and started fanning yourself.

"is it getting hot in here?" you inquired.

"green...green" you heard hyunjin mutter "there it is!" he said.

Tracing his finger under the lines he was reading, his eyes widened.

"fuck" he mumbled to himself and looked over to you, you were plucking at your shirt to get more air onto your body.

"hyunjin" you gasped "im so hot" your breathing getting shallower.

"okay, uhm okay fuck" he repeated himself and reread the little part of the page again and again.

The Galvanising Green plant is a type of flower, first analyzed in 1987, this plant is very rare in Europe.

Its effect on humans is easy to depict. For women it is a strong aphrodisiac where as for men just a small amount of the pollen can lead to severe headaches and diarrhea.

Part of him was glad that he didn't have to go through headaches and diarrhea, but a different part of him would've preferred it; because now he had to handle an extremely horny version of you?

As if the normal you wasn't enough to make him feel some type of way.

He read a little further than that before coming to your help again.

"jinnie" you mewled as you started to take off your slytherin coat.

"stop" he held it up your shoulder "listen" he placed one hand on your cheek as he brought his wand up to your face.

Your pupils were blown and your cheeks were now completely flushed.That, and your continuous ragged heavy breathing told him that you definitely inhaled more than enough pollen to trigger this response from your body.

"what?" you breathed.

"it's a really strong aphrodisiac, that's why you're feeling like this" he tired to stay calm.

"huh?" your eyes widened "oh shit" you let your head fall back.

"how do I make it go away?" you asked breathlessly, grabbing onto his bicep.

"the book says you have to work it out of your system otherwise your body will go into a shock state because of all the pollen and hormones it produces" he tried explaining to you.

"huh?" you sounded again.

"come here, get up. We'll go inside first" you complied.

"what do you mean 'work it out of my system'??" you asked him as you left the greenhouse on shaky legs, hyunjin wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you from falling.

"well" he blushed as he looked down at the invisibility cloak, he had grabbed in the last second, draped over his arm "are you seeing someone at the moment?"

"uh-n-no?" one of your feet gave out for a millisecond but hyunjin caught you before halting you in your steps.

"was that a question or an answer?" he locked eyes with you as he draped the cloak over the both of you.

"a-mh- answer" you stuttered.

"okay uhm" he kept his eyes trained on the secret path back into the castle, james had told him about.

"I'll bring you to your chambers and you'll have to do it alone then" he mumbled.

"alone? What? Do what?" you breathed heavily, suddenly you felt a rush of warmth in your nether regions at which you whimpered.

"you have to..." he cleared his throat "well... work it out of your system" his eyes widened and his head snapped towards you when you moaned.

"y/n? you okay?" you had buried your face in his shoulder.

"shit" he mumbled "here we go" he pointed to a wooden door "just a minute and we'll be inside okay?"

"hmm" you whined.

You walked through said door into a tunnel you'd never seen before; normally you would've scolded him as to why he knew these kind of things but you had other problems right now.

Not a minute later hyunjin tapped onto the wall, which indicated the end of the tunnel, with his wand in a weird pattern.

But somehow it worked and another door appeared, leading the two of you into a small broom closet.

"you have to be quiet now" he whispered, you nodded your head as good as you could and bit your lower lip.

Leaving the broom closet, you stepped into the hallway of the seventh floor of Hogwarts.

"hyunjin, you cant just leave me alone" you whispered desperately when the same tingling warmth returned.

The pollen of the plant overtaking your brain so much that you didnt even care as to how that weird door brought you into a broomcloset that connected to hogwarts again.

"shh" he shushed you before speaking as well "y/n I don't know how else to help you"

That was a lie, of course he knew what he could do.

But that would be unethical; he didn't want to take advantage of you like that.

"you have to help me" you clawed at his coat "please" you whimpered and it went straight into his pants, which he felt guilty about.

Suddenly a door appeared a few meters in front of you, just a second after he'd spotted it, he heard footsteps from behind.

"shit shit, fucking shit" he ushered you to walk faster before quickly opening the door and rushing inside.

When he looked at the door from the inside, it disappeared; leaving only the brick wall.You had already ripped the invisibility cloak off the both of you.

Looking around this mysterious room, he spotted a luxurious king sized bed with nightstands on each side and dimmed lights; that's when he knew where you two were.

"no fucking way" he mumbled, having never before seen the room of requirement.

"hyunjin" his thoughts got interrupted by you dragging him at his coat and stopping right with your back to the bed.

"please help me" you looked up at him with big teary eyes, he could hear your heartbeat, that's how affected you were by the plant.

You discarded your coat, before pushing his down his shoulders as well.

"y/n no" he said, but his coat already laid on the ground.

He caught your wrists when you reached for his belt "y/n you cant think straight, you don't really want this"

"yes I do" you stomped your foot on the ground "I really do" you said quieter as you came closer.

"please jinnie" you freed your wrists from his grip and peeled off your plain black tshirt you always wore under the coat “this is your fault to begin with!”

His eyes stuck to your lacy black bra as you undid the button of your jeans and pushed them down your legs.

He felt his cock stir in his pants when your matching cotton panties were revealed and you stepped out of your jeans, kicking them to the side.

You took advantage of his slow reflexes and looped your arms around his neck "please" you whispered before attaching your lips to the skin under his jaw.

He swallowed hard "fuck y/n" his hands grabbed your waist, making you push yourself against him more flush.

"okay okay" he sighed in defeat, you looked up at him "I'll help you, but we're not going to have sex!"

"hyunj-" you started again.

"y/n I'm serious I don't want to take advantage of you" you swallowed and nodded, eyes big.

"okay" he ducked down a little and plucked you up from the ground by the backs of your thighs.

You squealed in excitement.

"Kiss me" you pleaded after he laid you on your back and slotted himself in between your legs.

His lips were slightly parted as he looked down at you, eyes scanning over your features.

"Okay" he whispered before pressing his lips to your.You instantly moaned into his mouth when his togue pressed against yours.

The next thing you did would've never happened if that plant hadn’t make you hornier than 10000 bunnies.

You took one of his hands and brought it down to cup over your core, mumbling a whiny 'please'.

Hyunjin hissed through his teeth when he felt how soaked your panties were.

He palmed your throbbing cunt roughly, shooting a spark of pleasure up your spine aa he encouraged you to rutt your hips against his hand.

"Oh my- hyunjin" you yelped out after he had discarded your panties and slipped a finger into you.

“okay?” he asked when feeling how tight you were, at which you nodded agressively.It was almost embarrassing how excessively aroused you were ; hyunjin however didnt have alot on his mind in that moment.

All he could focus on was how pretty your flushed cheeks were and how lost you were in the pleasure he was providing you.

His thumb found your aching clit and drew circles over it while pumping his middle finger into you.

"thats it baby, you like that?" He asked a little hesistantly, not sure how you felt about dirty talk, but seeing your chest arch up and hearing your whimpers only spurred him on.

"Hmmmh" you whined "fuck-oh" he looked down at you in awe when your pretty lips shaped into an o form.

"Fuck i'd love to taste you right now, so desperate hm?" He hummed into your ear, it sending straight into your core.

Your back arched off the bed and you clawed at his soft black shirt when his lips found your neck.

"Yes-yes fuck hyunjin-" you cried out when he started sucking at a particular sensitive spot, coming apart shortly after with yelps of his name, clenching around his finger furiously.

"Better?" He asked after a minute, looking down at you, you chest was heaving and a light sheen of sweat covered your body.

"A little" you said quietly.

"Need more?" He asked like the gentleman he was, gently letting his finger slide out of you.

You nodded poutingly as you ran your nails through his hair at the back of his head.

"What you said about tasting me..." you looked up at him shyly "w-would you?"

His eyes widened, would he?

He wanted to, really badly.

So, he heard himself stutter a "yeah" as you unclasped your bra.

The low moan that slipped past your lips when he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth made his cock stir in his boxers.

"you're so sexy" he mumbled against your stomach before suckling at the skin just over your belly button.

"take off your shirt" you pleaded, to which he grinningly complied

You moaned when you felt a new heatwave wash over you at the shight fo his toned torso; gasping when the blonde haired boy reinserted his finger into you.

"arh yes fuck" you groaned, grasping his hair when he started leaving wet kisses on the junction of your legs.

Feeling your arousal being at a height as if you didn't just get off again, you whimpered, realising he was teasing you as he switched between thighs.

"please don't tease jinnie" you pouted, he grinned at the nickname, he loved it but would never admit it.

"mmh- what do you want me to do?" he grinned up at you, his fingers moving too slow inside of you for your liking.

"use your mouth" you begged "please" he almost felt guilty for how much he liked hearing you beg for him.

"how could I say no to that pretty pout" he teasingly nipped at your thigh making you squeal.

-end of flashback-

Just as you speak the password to the fat lady and the door opens, you hear running behind you and a voice "hey! l/n"

Of course you recognize the voice, so you sigh and turn around "hwang" you say, plastering a fake smile on your face.

"you've been avoiding me" he grins as he catches up and steps into the slytherin dungeons at the same time.

"hmm have i?" you mumble, not looking at him directly.

"yea, even though you so clearly couldn't get enough of me two nights ago" he bites his lip and raises his brows cockily when you stop and look up at him.

"listen, I was drugged by a fucking plant okay?" you argue "and you even promised me to never bring it up again, so what the fuck do you want?" you ask.

"never bring it up with anyone else babe, I thought we could talk about how much fun we had together?" he reaches for your waist, at which you slap his hand.

"would you not?" you whisper "there are people here" he just chuckles at the way you blushed slightly.

"okay, I'll make it easy for you hwang, what do you want?" you stem you free hand on your hip sassily.

He breathes in as his eyes wander over your face before his lips curl into a smile and he reaches for you hand "come with me?"

You huff but don’t fight his hand enclosing yours "where?"

"somewhere we can talk in private" he states calmly.

So you follow him out once more, you should've known where this was going but only really realise it when he pulls you in a broom closet.

Books still pressed against your chest with one arm, you hiss "what the fuck? I thought you wanted to talk"

"chill miss goody shoes" he giggles before his eyes fall onto your books "gimme those" he mumbles, taking them from you and plopping them on the ground behind him.

"hyunjin!" you exclaim, mad that your books were getting dust all over them.

He just snickers before coming closer.

You involuntarily press your back against the wall because he’s closing in on your personal space.

"what do you want?" you ask him for the nth time, a little quieter this time.His hands find your hips as he wedges a strong thigh in between your legs.

"I missed you" he says quietly, the lighting in there is bad but you can see that his eyes are fixed on your lips.

"huh?" your breath was shaky.

He grins before leaning in slowly, giving you the opportunity to stop him, and when you don't, he presses his lips against yours.

You kiss him back without thinking, your hands finding their home in his long hair when he gently rolls his tongue against yours.

The grunt that comes from him shoots straight into your pants, you feel how he presses his body into yours; the thigh between your legs getting pressed into your sensitive core.

Moaning against his lips at the new friction; he pulls at your bottom lip with his teeth before moving down your jaw with his lips.

You let out a shaky breath when he reached that one spot on your neck, directly under your jaw.He smiles against your skin before sucking on the soft spot at which another moan leaves your lips.Growing desperate, you start rocking your core against his thigh more obviously.

Hyunjin releases the soft skin from in between his lips, grabbing your jaw with one hand as he looks down at you ministrations.

"need something, pretty girl?" he grins, the nickname has you keening; the friction provided by his thigh being nice but nowhere near enough to get you off.

"please" you just mumble before he kisses your lips again.

Together, you undo the buttons of your cloak before he unzips your jeans and slips his hand into your panties.

"w-wait, hold up girl, you're telling me you haven't had sex yet?" victoires gaze bores holes into the side of your face as she sits down across from you on your bed.

There was no way you couldn't have told her about this whole situation you had gotten yourself in.

"no!" you snap your head towards your best friend "we just did a lot of other stuff" you cross your legs to sit more comfortably.

"but I don't plan on sleeping with him anyway" you shrug your shoulders.

"why?" your best friend grins "I thought you were sick of being a nerd and a virgin"

"bitch" you tsked and smacked her calve that was closest to you "you're a nerd as well"

"yea" she snickers "but im not a virgin because I don't feel the need to only do it with someone I'm in love with"

"hmpf" you let yourself fall back onto your back "whats so bad about that though?" you ask more quietly.

"nothing" she lays down next to you "I'm just kidding...but does he know?" you shake your head.

"no, I feel like he'd just call me a prude or miss goody shoes if I told him" you mumble.

"well then he's definitely not the right one to do it with" victoire comments, you just nod.

The next morning you’re sitting in the big hall, chatting with victoire as usual, as breakfast was being served.

Suddenly you felt a woosh of air on your right as someone sat down in a hurry.

"hey l/n" you glace to your right to see hyunjin "hey weasley" he nods at victoire opposite from you and him.

When you look over at you best friend you see that james had sat himself next to her, grinning just as big as the blonde boy next to you.

"uh hi?" victoire speaks for the both of you.

"listen up, we graduate in a few weeks and graduation ball is soon as well..." hyunjin starts, still grinning from ear to ear.

You frown, victoire mimicing your expression, both of your gazed flickering between the two boys.

"..so??" she gestures with her toast in hand.

"so...how bout it?" james continues "let’s go to the ball together" he turns to victore before gesturing to you and hyunjin "and those two"

You giggle when seeing victoires face scrunch up in disgust before she flicks james forehead.

"eww potter, I'm not going to the ball with you, that'd almost be like incest. Plus I'm trying to get laid afterwards" you laugh at james shocked expression to your best friends words.

"what do you mean incest babe? Just because we've known each other for so long doesn't mean..." he keeps on rambling to your best friend as she stands up and turns to you.

"excuse me" she exhales annoedly, you chuckle and nod before she walks away, james at her heels, still talking.

"so what about us?" you flinch a little, almost having forgot about hyunjin next to you.

"uhh, I don't know" you say, looking down at your plate.

"why not?" he nides your arm with his elbow "we like each other" he scooches closer "we have fun together" lifting his hand and softly tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as he speaks.

You move away from him "yea about that, I think we should stop" you quickly say before getting up to make your way out of the hall as well.

"hey" he catches up with you quickly "why? did I do something wrong?" you roll your eyes as you keep walking.

"I didn't tell anyone about us! I swear! A- and I think y-you know, you're hot, I'm hot; I think we'd look really good toge-"

"can’t you accept a no?" you suddenly stop in your tracks, frowning annoyedly as you tell him off.

"woah- hey I just wanna know why you hate me all over sudden" he looks hurt.

"I don't hate you hyunjin" you sighed "but I also don't like you; you play with girls like they're dolls and when you had your fun you throw them away and I don't want to be thrown away, no matter by who" you breathe in.

"okay okay" he holds up his hands in defense "first of all, everything I had with 'all of these girls' you are talking about" he quotes you, gesturing air quotation marks "was two- sided! They knew what they were getting into, I never lead a single one of them on"

"mhm I'm sure that's why they like you so much now" you speak sarcastically while crossing your arms infront of your chest.

"you're making it seem like I slept with the whole school y/n!... I didn't! just to be clear..." you roll your eyes again.

"Its not my fault when-"

"when what?" you feel yourself get angry "when they fall in love with you?? because you're sooo irresistible??"

"is it so hard for you to believe that I'm not that interested in you? Is your ego that big?" you caught yourself before you got too loud, staring into each others eyes for a few seconds.

When he doesn't react to your statement you turn on your heels, ready to walk away again.

"I kinda hoped you were actually" you stop, turning around to him again when he continues "because I actually like you"

"so that's what you call not leading someone on, yea?" you ask rhetorically.

"I'm not leading you on y/n I'm serious" he walks up to you again.

"you're only interested in me because you haven't actually fucked me yet, hyunjin" you deadpan and walk away for good this time.

"girl" victoire exclaims as she walks into your chambers, you look up from the homework you’re doing on your bed a few days later.

“how do you always get in here?” you ask, reffering to the fat lady being very strict with non-house members in the chambers.

“the fat lady loves me!” she shrugs her shoulders, plopping down on your bed.

"alright, what is it?" you look back down to finish writing your sentence.

"I just saw hwang in the hallway, he looked beat" she huffs "and with beat I mean way way worse than the last few days" she eyes you scribbling something onto your paper.

"hm" you respond.

"what did you do to him?" she asks.

"what do you mean? I protected myself from being just another girl on his list" you continue writing.

"are you sure?" victoire persists "I mean whenever you sat next to each other in class, even after the plant incident...he seemed genuinely happy with you next to him"

"well, sucks for him I guess" you mumble, not looking up, instead turning some pages in your book.

You did feel sorry in hindsight, you shouldn't have talked to him like that. He had always shown you respect and you didn't reciprocate it.

It is just really hard to believe that he'd actually be interested in you, since he was well...kinda perfect at everything and you were just very mediocre at everything.

He is so good looking, and even though he calls you hot and pretty you yourself don't really believe it.

Like,... what do you have that he can’t find in a prettier girl?- "y/n?" victoire speaks up.

"huh??" your head snaps up at her.

"I said... are you sure that you didn't just push him away because you're scared of the fact that you may like him back?"

(a/n: i was inspired by this jungkook fic i read on here like a year ago but i couldn’t find it for the life of me, all i remember is that it was called ‘golden hour’ so if anyone knows what im talking about please tell me so that i can give proper credit! thank u!...also i know the fat lady originally guards the gryffindor common room but i couldnt think of anything else loolll...)

#ik halloween is over but fall is the most hogwarts season there is for me loll anyways..#i left it open for a part 2 if yall are interested #wont be mad if not tho kk #stray kids #stray kids smut #skz #skz smut #skz hogwarts!au #stray kids hogwarts!au #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #slytherin!hyunjin #slytherinhyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #hyunjin hard hours #skz hard hours #galvanising green

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1990jeevas · 3 years

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Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

#shit self #asks #the get down #mylene cruz #shaolin fantastic #dizzee kipling #long post #analysis #info dump #idk if anon has seen tgd or is just being nice so i tried givinh background to things #kinz #bangerz #discourse

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mc-critical · 3 years

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Okay hi its me again💜 i enjoyed your answers to my questions but im here again lol

My Question now is probably annoying or hard but i asked another page a while ago and they said it was too hard (had to re search a lot for it) but i find it very interesting.

Ranking All Imperial Sultanas from MC/MCK by how Influental/powerful they were,would be very happy if u made a list with reasonings i love yours blogs and how well they're formulated.

I'll have to agree with the other page you've asked this question that it's going to be hard answering to it when it comes to history. There's still stuff we don't know for sure (we don't even know precisely how much political influence Hürrem actually had historically!) and there is a lot of research to be done in order to give a full perspective.

That's why I'm going to limit myself to the show. While I feel the hierarchy is even more of a mess there, the conclusions one can drive are far more clear cut, especially when it comes to the evolution of power being explored on a thematic level through the Sultanate of Women.

That said, for me, the most powerful and influential sultana in the show is Kösem. She got the most from the power as a sultan's favourite and the power as a valide. She had the support of both the people and the Jannisary. She was a regent during the early years of Murat's reign and even after Murat took away her regency, she could run her foundations and had meetings that were her making decisions about the state. She represented the state almost her whole life to the point she went as far as to remove every single threat that stood in its way. Out of all the sultanas, she was the one who had the most chance to utilize and extend her power, yet she was the one with the most opposition from people who were capable of anything to take her down. She fought with enemies that put her under constant pressure, but also had their fair share of power and it was a lot more possible for the odds to turn in their favor when it came to it. Kösem managed to overcome all of them not only through sheer force of will, but also through the sheer confidence in the amount of power she wields (and the way she uses it).

The two most important "branches" of Kösem's power that make her stand out among the rest are the reach her power has and her experience. Kösem's touch of power was relatively early - Ahmet and Mustafa, the the most important people in the whole empire, were in their death beds, Handan, the Valide Sultan, didn't know what to do when everyone else was only seeking their own benefit, and the only one who could stand up to the people in what was a massive revolt, was Kösem. By expressing the confidence that the sultan was okay, she represented the country as early as episode 7, she gained another, new wave of respect in the harem and it all unraveled from there. She was starting to "lose" her innocence, she clashed with arguably the most powerful people in the harem (Safiye and Halime + Dilruba), Ahmet, for all he was, acted very "loosely" with her, in terms of what he permitted her to do when it came to the boundaries of her power in the harem and his heart, he relied on her to make decisions when he couldn't, he looked up to her, he sought her advice, he even left the state in her hands in the end. Thanks to the evolution of the SOW, now that very powerful and influential women are the norm in the harem rather than the exception, Kösem was both in a precarious, yet very powerful position, she grasped what the ones before her had and yet got to lengths no one else before (or after her, show-wise) did. Her power spread everywhere, she had so many areas of influence, to the point Murat, the padişah himself, felt overshadowed by all that. But most importantly, she reached out to the people, they all loved and respected her. No sultana was as close to her people as Kösem and I feel that's the most valuable power one could have.

I would put Safiye as second. She's been in power for so many years and she perceives her own power as so massive it's hard for her to let go of. Her dresses, morning routines, material possessions, servants were exemplary. She was so influential in the harem that she was still pretty much perceived as a Valide, even when she already wasn't. She was apparently close to Queen Elizabeth in the show, as well. She also had foundations, even though reaching to the people was far from her first priority. What brings her down for me, is that her influence began to waver slowly, but surely, ever since she was imprisoned in that tower. (yes, she still had a concubine to poison Ahmet, but still...) She lost from Kösem eventually, but she still had very strong presence and was a remarkable member of the SOW. Something from her was left even when she was at her "weakest" - the person manipulating Osman.

I don't know where to put Turhan, to be honest. She was certainly very influential, because she could amass people to her side and staged this massive coup and what helped even further, is her being in a high position from the very beggining and her thematic role in the evolution of power in the SOW, that while everyone else there had their power from their positions as favorites to some extent, at least, Turhan got it solely from herself and what she achieved on her own, because the love and favor from the padişah in her case, was absent at best. But.... her achievements and early apparent upper hand at first only stemmed from the fact that she was Kösem's shadow, she was essentially fooling her and playing with her trust. That is surely bold and the amount of time she succeeded to win in her hands is definetly something, but that facade could last only so far and when it dropped.... Kösem and Turhan were pretty much on equal ground. They were doing move after move and Turhan won only because she used Kösem's weakness. And her weakness.. wasn't the amount of power she wielded. Turhan manipulated her to let go of her personal restraints, which was what she thrived in, but that wasn't really related to power. Power was what Turhan wanted to get, not what she fully had. The same goes with influence. The spheres of Kösem and Safiye's influences were also much bigger than what Turhan ever got and no matter how well she twisted her words, her stunt could even become ineffectual later on, because she has neither ideals, nor principals, but we cannot deny she went way beyond her predecessors for the thing she craved, so I guess she could be here for now.

The Halime and Dilruba (+Davud) faction is not to be underestimated at all. Despite that, similarly to (one aspect of) Turhan, most of their power came from their ruthlessness and how much they were willing to use it. It's interesting, because Halime's most "powerful and influential" was her at her most desperate point, when she seemed to be losing control, because when everyone (the Jannisary especially) learned about Mustafa's condition, no one wanted him to be their sultan, and when Mustafa was dethroned and Osman was the one who ruled. The faction being ready to do anything to be in power and win caused them to beat Kösem in certain instances and were the reason for one of her biggest losses. As far as I recall, they were setting people against Osman and they were also fueling the fire around him, as well as the other stuff. Their opportunism is also a key thing in their power, while it could be also Halime's flaw, when it was her strenght, it fully showed. Knowing when to act (post-E25 Halime and especially Dilruba) and circling around all sides (pre-E25 Halime) is important and advantageous, compared to those who are more direct in their motives. However, when that ruthlessness of the faction is gone, they end up believing way too much in their own victory, hence they let themselves get off guard. Which is what, as well as their ruthlessness that caused Kösem to act even more against them, brought them to their end. And Halime herself could act very irrationally when the opportunity finally seems to come for her, which made her fall under Safiye's traps.

Nurbanu had enough power to guide Selim, hide his mistakes and win him supporters in a way, even though I'm sure she could also be pretty independent of him. She also ended up defeating Hürrem, all things considered. She was cunning enough and she gained influence considerably fast, judging by MC's themes, of course. However, we didn't see much of her influence outside of Selim in the show and seemed to have opposition quickly after her supposed victory was approaching, with the Safiye case she didn't have the upper hand in, in the end. (though it hadn't been such an easy battle, I'm certain of that.) Nurbanu is definetly the most powerful and influential concubine of a prince, but would she be more powerful than the current/future valides before her? I can't say for sure.

While I don't see her as the most powerful and influential sultana of the franchise, Hürrem definelty brought something new to the table, especially in regards to all the traditions she broke, her more extensive foundation work and her getting in contact with the statesmen, along with vast political allies. Hürrem was the sultana whose power stemmed from her favorable position, but that alone. And thanks to both SS and the themes and the time period, that also could only go so far. Her fatal flaw (the fixation of her enemies and her taking the more opportunistic political allies instead of truly testing their loyalty) made her political alliances become unstable in the end. She had her severe amount of influence, but that influence... seemed to disappear little by little when she seemed to be losing, especially when it came to Rüstem. Her power comes from Süleiman and if/when he dies, Hürrem loses absolutely everything. She has her fair amount of legacy, of course, especially with the favorable treatment and her marriage and how far could one start going on the road of power (though that was more on the themes that set Hürrem as a trendsetter for similar character arcs, not so much on Hürrem herself, but it's stil there), but there're sultanas more powerful than her.

I don't think I'm going to go through all the dynastic sultanas when it comes to power, because their characters and arcs are very rarely connected to power. Still, I find the most powerful and influential dynastic sultanas of MC to be Şah and Mihrimah, and of MCK: Hümaşah. Şah is especially there when it comes to influence and how many things she succeeded to pull off, to the point she could beat both Hürrem and Mihrimah, if she truly wanted to, and Mihrimah had SS's favor and her own growing confidence in her own capabilities, which is also very important. Hümaşah has her power as Safiye's daughter and then, very loosely, as a harem ruler, even though she's not more powerful than her or most of the MCK sultanas.

Ayşe Hafsa had her own fair share of power as a Valide Sultan. She wasn't that massively influential and she didn't weave political plots, but she was very strong in the harem, which she ruled with grace and poise. She had everyone there obey, respect and at times even fear her and she didn't give up so easily in her fight with Hürrem. She was a tough opponent precisely because of the power she had in the harem and even Hürrem admitted she was looking up to her to an extent. Everyone listened to her sound advice and SS considered her his conscience, even though she slowly lost her influence of him in S02B. (and even then SS still cared for her enough, of course)

A bit of a bizarre opinion maybe, but I put Gülbahar and Mahidevran next to each other when it comes to the power they wield in their respective shows. That's mostly when it comes to the vast amount of supporters they both have gained whether it's thanks to their sons or their own personalities, which could put them a step above their rivals at times. (the "Mahidevran is dependent on others" remark.... could actually be as much her advantage as is Gülbahar's seek of supporters and how she uses that.) Both have sons they strive to advice in their own beliefs and while sometimes they may not listen, they respect their mothers a lot. Both gain their strength and power without being favored by their respective sultans. Mahidevran's power shows much more when she rules her harem in Manisa, as she she shows decisiveness and justice and yet can use the same firm hand Valide Hafsa once used with her when necessary. Gülbahar's power shows much more in the castle with all the reach she has thanks to her supporters, along with her big ambition to get what's hers. I would put Gülbahar before Halime and Mahidevran after Ayşe Hafsa in this list.

In theory, Handan had a lot of power as a Valide, but she could by no means adapt to it. She was trying to exert it as much as possible, yet she never discovered how exactly to do it, and when she seemed close to discovering, someone either worked behind her back or everything just went all wrong. Nearly everyone's lack of respect thanks to Safiye's influence was even harder to get over. Handan wasn't suited for this harem life and her only solaces were her son and Derviş. Power wasn't Handan's thing at all, still she was an awesome character.

Farya and Ayşe are a tricky case. While Farya was the closest person to Murat ever being favorable to someone (besides Atike, actually no wonder they're besties!) and he married her, she didn't have the safest position in the castle, because she couldn't have children for the longest time. What Farya got in the end was only a slightly more favorable position that could end at any given time and Kösem becoming her enemy didn't help, either. Ayşe practically ranked above Farya as a mother of Murat's children, but her relationship with Murat was strained, at the very least, and that could pretty much cost her her life. Gülbahar only took advantage of her. The girl was stuck in an abusive and toxic relationship and all she could do to end it, was take her own life and that of her children. Thing is, we're talking Murat and he's as abusive and toxic with all his women as he can get, along with his fear for someone to betray or outshine him, so there's only so much power you can get during his unpredictable and (both direct and deep-seated) anger induced reign, so both Ayşe and Farya are on equal terms when it comes to power. Murat screwed both of them over so hard, I don't think there was ever time or a chance for them to seek such power and influence like others have and I don't blame them for it one bit. It's really, really heartwrenching, actually.

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #magnificent century: kösem #magnificent century kösem #magnificent century kosem #ask #therealhaseki #am I missing someone? (who isn't a dymastic sultana and isn't Sah Hüma or Mihri)

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watanabes-cum-dump · 4 years

Text

Burning Blue 1-2

Act 1) The girl with burning eyes

Chapter two: Fire on water

Morax wasn't entirely sure about this. They had brought Liyue home and she was running round the library looking at all the books and statues everywhere. It's not that he was concerned about the damage a child might cause, but rather the child itself. How were they going to take care of her? None of them had ever had a child. The closest any of them had ever had to a child was Mountain Shaper playing with the nearby children and Morax knew that didn't really count.

"Are you sure you're up to this, Mountain Shaper?" the raven haired god asked his adeptus.

"My lord, you have no need to worry. I am fully up to the task"

Morax was glad there was that. Quizhong giggled "You seem to have already grown a soft spot for the little thing" she said, covering her smile with her fan. Morax never fully understood why she did that, he thought that she had nothing to hide when she smiled.

Mountain Shaper cleared his throat, eyeing the little girl who was curiously peering at the pool of water in the middle of the library, sticking a hand in to grab at a bright red koi fish. (Why they had a koi pond in a library Morax did not know)

"I am merely doing this out of responsibility. Not because I care for the child" he stated.

He never really understood why some people insisted they did not like something they clearly did. Was it to hide something? Were they afraid of the object of their affection would get hurt? Were they afraid of judgment? Weakness? Morax didn't understand why openly expressing your love would be embarrassing or weak. On the contrary, the god thought of it as bold.

A splash was heard as Liyue fell into the shallow pool, Mountain shaper quickly fished the small girl out of the water and brought her to stand on the ledge of the pool. "Hey, don't go around doing that" he scolded.

"I'm sorry" Liyue said sheepishly, pouting and starting to squeeze water out of her dress. Morax could see Mountain Shaper melt and relent, patting little Liyue's head.

"It's alright. Let's get something for you to wear and fill your stomach up" he picked her up and walked out of the library. Quizhong tried to stifle her laugh as to spare the adeptus his pride.

"Little Liyue is so cute" she cooed "I'm sure it'll be a delight to have her" the lady of dust said, putting away her fan and tucking it in her robes.

"Indeed" Morax said "I believe Mountain shaper will raise her well, perhaps she'll soften him up"

Quizhong sighed "Xiao could use a little softening up to. I think having a child around will be beneficial to everybody. A shame we might have to see her go one day"

Morax nodded, putting his hands behind his back and looking at the wet spots of floor from Liyue "Yes, it will be. Perhaps she could stay with us for longer..."

Golden eyes not too different from his own looked at him, a small but refined frown sitting on her forehead "Morax, you're not thinking of making her an adeptus, are you?"

"I will leave the choice up to her" Morax said, raising his hand "My dear friend, we are short in numbers and this war is going nowhere. We need help and I think Liyue is perfect for the role, especially with Mountain Shaper raising her" he reasoned.

"She's a child" Guizhong reasoned.

"She will grow and learn to make her own decisions" Morax said back.

Morax knew what he was suggesting was a bit insane and even came off as evil or manipulative, but he was good intentions. Plus, he was sure he'd do Liyue a favor, mortals always seemed to crave immortality, if anything she'd be lucky.

"I won't do it right away" he assured his friend "We'll wait and if she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to"

Quizhong looked at him with furrowed brows, clearly feeling a bit protective of the small child. Morax sighed and strode out of the library, thinking about it. Maybe it was a bit early to assume Liyue would want to be an immortal adeptus, but he saw something in her. She'd be valuable to him. She certainly would....

"-And then Xiao-"

"Shut up old man!"

Morax didn't quite know what he walked into when he visited the kitchen for a cup of tea. Xiao had thrown a cookbook at Mountain shaper who was now in his crane form, muffled squawks came out of his beak where a raw fish flopped with his movements, and Cloud Retainer was in her human form watching the spectacle, hand shooting out to protect Liyue from flying objects ever so often. The little girl was dressed in a blue and white dress with her hair groomed and was having what looked like tofu and stir fry, seemingly unbothered by the ruckus.

"What happened here?"

Xiao immediately dropped a cabbage he looked like he was a bout to throw at Mountain Shaper, who morphed back into a human and spat a raw fish out of his mouth.

"My lord" they three adepti said in unison, bowing respectfully to him. Liyue continued to enjoy her meal while Morax cast confused glances at his adepti while he prepared himself some tea.

"What exactly happened"

Mountain Shaper and Xiao opened their mouths to speak but Cloud retainer interrupted them. "Mountain shaper was trying to tell the story of the time Xiao went under cover as a woman and wore a qipao. It was quite entertaining"

Morax his a smile as he recounted the memory of Xiao is a much too short qipao wreaking havoc in a small tavern. It was quite the spectacle. They all shared a good laugh (safe for Xiao who was fuming) until Liyue spoke up.

"Can Liyue see Xiao-Xiao in a qipao?"

Morax couldn't help but chuckle at the child's request, Moutain Shaper and Cloud retainer also looked like they wanted to laugh as the young adeptus fumed at the child. "No you cannot!"

"Why not?"

"I'm not dressing up as a girl again!"

Liyue cocked her head "What's wrong with dressing up as a girl? I dress up as a boy sometimes, mother and father say that gender is just an illusion and that it shouldn't keep someone back from expressing themselves. If Xiao-Xiao wants to dress up as a girl Liyue won't judge" she stated, cool and poised.

The room when silent, as none of the immortals were able to make sense of Liyue's maturity. Eventually, Xiao spoke up.

"I don't want to dress up like a girl though. I had to for... work related purposes"

Morax wasn't sure what to make of her maturity. She seemed to value equality, that was important. Her maturity was important as well, if she were to become an adeptus, her advanced understanding could definetly help her. Perhaps, Morax thought, that flame in her eyes burns for justice. Good, he'd need that flame to keep burning, he'd need her with him.

I know it’s a bit odd how I wrote the adepti’s relationships like a bunch of collage students, but that’s honestly how I see them lol. They all lived together during the war, I think they only split up when they established Liyue lol. I have only shared a room with other people like two times, but I’d honestly try to make the most of it lol, that involves embarrassing stories

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #zhongli #zhongli genshin impact #xiao #xiao genshin impact #mountain shaper #cloud retainer #liyue #I need Xiao in a qipao #N O W

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bemybestoy · 3 years

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Genesis of me

Genesis: becoming me! Hello bitches and kink lovers,This blog shall be an open letter to guide and smooth out our relationship as I am sick and tired of how a dominatrix and a sub's role are misunderstood. Let me introduce myself, I am Krisztina, a pro domme, in my 30's and I am embracing this role for around 8 years. Meaning I am highly experienced and I tried it all, expect the practices that reach out my limit. Such as permanent damage, I would never put the life and health of a slave of mine in jeopardy not thru my instructions or even just widness(you cannot even imagine thru years how many times I was asked if we can perform a c2c castration precedure, stabbing with knifes or swords for any amount I can posibly think of asking. I repeate it was about c2c so not bulshit as I would watch all along). When I refused such life threatning session I was offered same only to watch, not to instruct. Answer is still NO everytime. BDSM is not abuse, it is not guided endangerment, it must be sane, sane, consensual and have very clear boundaries of safety. To rewind i started to explore this world in my early 20s ofc and suprise , suprise in real life. Even if i am mostly an online fetish chathost and online domme, I did not know such sections of BDSM exist in camming world, till after a few years i have done dominance in real life. Let me explain! So I had a mid managemnt job after my university in a multinational company, which was and still is top 3 globally in its field and shall always be. There is not even a child all across this world that does not know what company is about when hearing it's name (do not be cretin enough to ask me the name, I will tell NO to your face. Or ask you what info you wish next home adress, Id identification number, blood group or home keys along with an open window in case you do not manage to use the keys:)) ). So i was there around 1 years and half and had a long distance relationship with often travelling . We all know those never lastunless one of the two moves abroad. So I hapilly informed my family and work collegues I wish to move to a different country to move in with my bf/ soon to be fiancee. The question in everyone's head right now was you bf your was Ds relationship? the honest answer is hell no! my bf was alike me a real alpha, one of the strongest man psysical and mental both and definetly would not take attitude from no woman (not even the love of his life, unless he was dick and she was right. To understand you need to picture a man at height 1,95 cm and around 100 kilos all fibers and muscles as he had been a kickboxer and when i met him a trainer for kickboxers at European level. A true montain of a man who yet never felt his manhood threaten if he discussed his feeling with me, his desires, his sensibilities, things i would do or say to hurt his feeling even involuntary a I was busy all the time and moving fast etc). So not only that he was not the submissive type, but even if we were in harmony from time to time he would give me 'attitude'. Now even if I am pleased and happy, even if I amm not the nagging type, no matter who you are and how much I love you, if you cross me I will whoop your ass. After a fe episodes, as chasing him thru the apartment every room with the moop tail pointed a him to kick his ass until he ran out, threating to stab his hand with a fork when he tried to touch my steak after leavig him without one as he made clearly to me he was not a pussy to carry grocery bagsand hence to help and many as suchhe decided I should meet one of his best friend from high school, a lady leaving in a city close. He said we would get along perfectly and the lady and I would get along perfectly. Who would knew I was in for such a big suprise.....(cheshire cat as i recall and type). So I did not know much about her ad what she does for a living when we were instruduced. We had lovely conversation, then she invited me some day when i am off work to visit her house, met her husband also and spend some more lady time together(I was a manager in one of my bf business a gran coffee shop/ bar it was quite big and had 2 floors one was coffe shop and bar all white with blue lighting surrounding th wide bar and lower floor couches and tables and ring dance for party rentals such as festivity, anniversieries etc. I done so many things in there: not only i would cash in all the money that being my main, but i would help the other emplyees by making cocktails- I made a course for that- , even cleaning or washing glasses, once out there i was the only personal managing or website, of course PR as even t planning as I was the one who organised every detail of our rental and someone even DJ, a lower floor had DJ booth with pro equipment which i manage to completely fuck up as I had no idea what I was doing and the booked DJ announced last minute he was so coming so my bf said as i am the most modern and tech savvy to give a try to see if i can work it. not only I was not able , but i fucked it up so bad we had to call a tehnician to fix it and he taught me basically how to use it on a minimal level to work it for the party which turned out great. Still cracks me out when i think of my face when i was sure i fucked it up lol. it was a dexter labority moment and his blonde sister deedee: i was like many if i press this and that i will fix it ) I was like well i cannot make it worse :))) Then I decided I need some female eergy without the 'guys' going everyday at my bf gym to do my box training, my krav maga and I gave a call to this lady ask her if I can indeed visit and when It is appropriate to come and suits her schedule.My employees and bf replacing me could manage a day without and i needed a getaway. She invited me in couple or days, my bf drove me to her house and then left to actually replace me. we had an amazing luncheon, laughed, make jokes, just getting to know each other mostly me and her, but also her husband. Then she informed me she had some work to do soon but i can wait with her husband. Unlike I want to come with her. I was like ok I want to come, ut i am not sure whether i disturb you and invite me just to be polite or if it is really ok. i mean i got the best manners you could witnes both on and out of my job. She said she would actually like to share what she does with me as she likes me and she is quite sure having such a strong and open personality would not make me freak out. I was within my mind ' what should i freak out about?!'. but still acted al casual as i liked her myslf, it only made me very curious. I have a feline personality so curiosity is in my nature, though it is pure and observatory, not the gossip, lame and weak as usual women are. So..... she said she will be busy with work for around 2 hours and if i wanted to stay aside as she cannot pay attention to me. i was like ok... She then invited me at the basement where she said she would met at her 'office' a person whom she expects, as her work space has direct access from garage. Then we would both go downstairs. Well probably telling all cluess made you suspect or realise it was a full dungeon downstairs. a pro dungeon.you should have seen my face when i noticedall the tools, device,suspension systems and the rest of the toys. She looked at me patient and confident, without a care in her mind that i might judge or something.... let me soak it all in... then she asked: You still want to stay or do you want to go upstairs with my husband to keep him company thru soccer game was on tv? " . She was so calm as if she shown me a bush of pants in her garder:)) Then my first outspoken reaction to her it was one of a morron: my first words after what i have seen, my first question asked was if her husband knew about all these(as they do not share a house for more then 10 years). She said yes, but he does not interfer with her work, comes down sometimes, but participates rare and very dismissive toward whom she works with. So I gotten more curious. I obviously suspected what will happen soon, but never withness something alike.Well I done so many sessions and you remember even if having a perfect memory the big lines of the majority. The first one I had only as a peeper I remember in smallest little details. Bitch parked and had a hoody on. he knoecked and when was invited, he went down on his knees down on all stairs. He looked like a maggot or miriapod with his head down to do not cascade over stairs as he was not standing. She then informed her she had a guest which will attend, but will not participate. Not giving a fuck of his reaction. I;ve seen chain suspection bondage, over all punishment and esp cbt along with huge strapon penetration. Shge is quite tall1.80 and she really was at perfect level as he bitch even if him hanging from the ceiling without touch the floor or be close to it even. i was amazed and intrigued. So as soon everything was done and he left ofc i asked so many questions. She answered all with patience even if i must have been annoying like a child and not take the time to put together the smarters questions. After i while I was blablabla in a hyper manner about what she does as a professional domina I was like wait! does my bf know about this? She smilled and said ofc. He sometimes rarely when visiting me participates even as a master helping mewith pain or bootlicking or stuff. He joins more then my husbnd who when bored and coming down to see when i finish at most lets his shoes licked by my slaves then goes upstairs. I found all these fascinaint and so alternative so ofc I wanted to see more.So often I would visit her as watch her sessions with her slaves. After several mouth a slave of hers made her after session a big financial tribute offer that i participate too and i can second her domining. She asked me if it is something I consider. I did want it, but felt like I would be clueless as per what to do. Even if you watch many times that does not mean you feel suddly like you can replicate that certainty in action. She said not to worry as bitch knows it is my first time and this and following her lead is exactly what it is excites him. So i mus not overthink, just try to have some fun. And damn! It was so much fun! the hormones, the excitment, the laughter from humiliation talk, the driven crazy look on the bitches' face, the overall experience. it was like wow! it is hard to paint it in words, with all lexicon richness or ability to play with words. it is pure extasy! :D:DAfter he felt she made sure he had a chit chat with a glass of wine, making sure i am good with all, she said how great i was as she does not like other lady dommes in general. What was the goodbye part when my bf arrved to pick me up in car she actually did give me my own tribute. how much money! like lots! Then she invited me often to participate in the session in which slave got excited about 2 lady dommes. I accepted that one per week as i was busy with my own line of work. I had so much fun more then a year. Seen lots, done lots.Then a night I was speaking to him in our bed, holding hands, after2-3 rounds of sex and many orgasms. My realtionships are very intimate and I always go for an open man, who is super smart so besides sex and comfy routine I would have a late night conversation till 4-5 am even if we had to bed up and work in couple hours. there is just something that it is most meaninful ina relationship, to communicate ina deep way and to enjoy it lots both of you. and get into each other soul, emotions and deepest needs.So I did ask him : what made you think she would like me and would like her? what made you believe i would enjoy all these as you know we do not do anything as such? He then said he met thru his life many type of women: brainy, prude, whores, dommes, swingerseven submissive lil fmale toys. And he said a true dominant is never made into one. Ofc you can be good if you copy and get exposured to it or at least satisfactory to a slave. But the best dominant are born, not made. It is in their nature and personalities. They give out clues all the time, no matter the random they do.It made me wonder lots. After a couple moment of silence with my head on his chest, lips against his neck and hand holded all thru our talk, just enjoying the thinking of each, the meaninful silence, i asked if he does not feel bothered about that facti enjoy myself playing with slaves when not only he do not do anything alike, but he is not playing with others either. I mean it is a vast emoions i fell which exclude him fully. he said ofc not, as our love life is something i need more then my alternative fun, thta he knows i can live without that experience, but i would be heartbroken if i was without us (you need to understand jealousy cannot be an issue here. Real pro dommes in dungeon do facesitting all dressed up thru latex or leather and it has got a suffocating breath control purpose. i will explain you why: first of all a n evelated domme cares about personal hygiene and she know there are many scat lovers visiting dommes. so to have one licking your pussy it is not quite sanitary. also ass worship is done thru leggings. the most expensive, best dommes will never allow a slave licking. that is just some vanilla crap made up buy hookers selling sex and bdsm aswell. a well respected professional odoes not indulge in that. I am not saing to use a slave for self sexual satisfaction makes you a bad, poorly skilled mistress. But you do that as a lifestyle domme.Meaning you have a domestic relatinship with your slave who is your life patner. Never in a pro dungeon relationship oral for a slave would be allowed or accepted). Drinking champagne straight from mistress soource yes, but without wiping after. You may have it fromshort distance her controlling her debit makeing her slave do not miss anything unless they agree before on a facial champagne game. But when you go to a pro domme you cannot expect her to enjoy licking pussy and ass. Not to mention licks or even nudity just because it arrouses you. so my bf knew my sex life involved only him, in vanilla terms we all know.And he was ok with my alternative fun. We were even if a modern couple a very faithful one. So our orgasms were only and strictly dedicated to one another, exclusively.He wasgreat in bed so i would have every single day more then ten orgams within couple of hours(we had wakeup sex, luch break sex and couple turns before bed, many squirty orgams, clit or vaginal without squirt). The most sexual gesture i seenin the pro domme who introduced me to this world is just around 3 times within one year to milk cock with latex gloves, but with ruin orgasm. she took hand of when she felt he would come load was shoot without touching he would lick after she pull gloved off and glove was washed after. More often she would make the bitch wank himself while she instructs him closeby. her husband accepted her line as he accepted and love everything about her, but he was like my ex fiancee: hear pussy, ass, breast, orgams, real sexual intimacy are for your pratner. Not for everyone. That is a hooker thing to do. To gave all that just just random everyones. One after the other.That is not what a real dmme is made off. Her strenght and charm comes out because he in full intimacy is hard to get if not impossible. And by all means a slave shoould be use till u reach full sexual satisfaction. But only for your chosen one or ones. I fyou are a lifestyle domme and have a slave as life partner or few slaves as toys as open relationship is ok. But you cannot expect same from a real pro domme! That is something builtand leveled up!PS Hmmm now to breath a lil as I poured everything so fast. deep inhales and exhales. light a cigg after and build this disclaimer. my spelling is awful as you know me i type like a motherfucker in full speed. Ignore all errors and consider the essence of my phrases. I do not believe in going back to spellcheck unless you publich a book or something editorial. I did that during university in an non paid internship, both as corrector and publisher. But it was a publication spread and shippd on a national evel. And in both roles i learned that the first message and thought till publishing as you go back several times are worlds apart. So much changes. And since I do not publish something wanting to be of intellectual value I wish a very spontaneous, fast writing. It is the most sincere, no filters and even if shifting thoughts without a bridge causing some lack of coherency now and then it is more powerful as the first reactions are. So yes a blog! why a blog? i do not do social media. it is lame, tacky and became brainless. i miss books or blogs at least. and i do not like at all media unless i do exposure over it from bitches craving for begging and tribute me for it. These reasons and that I cannot stand screens after 8-10 hours of online being available to sessions. I like to look in eyes of someone I talk to and they looking back at me. Instead of both or all dinner participants looking non stop at phone while we pretend to be together. Meanwhile no one is present as they focused on media and other stuffs over their phone .That is not only lame and un natural , but also impolite. Themost important ask from people around me is manners first of all. One lack of manners become my refusal to have this creature close to me even silent, simply unacceptable. In addition, if i must have my eyes after work on something i prefer a good movie or a book. Actual human contact is important to me as little as we have it nowadays with global situation. so NO, unless i will have video call activated which i will seldom have I do NOT exist until i am online the next day I feel the need to have people at my feet :) I am literary out of this world. I do not exist for anyone online. And enjoy it every minute !

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seventeen-teen-teen-trash · 6 years

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IM READY TO FIGHT CHAEYEON!!!😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣 ~🙈🙉🙊

same here.

@mysticmakertraveler said:Okay, so at first when i see chaeyeon i think "let's see what she's gonna do for now, at least she give vernon medicine to make him better". And the next part, when i see how she's treating y/n i know for sure.. She's a bitch 😠. If she dare to interrupt vernon and y/n, guess daehoon'll have a friend to hell when i kill him

lmfao dkla;jdfk;f i died lol

Anonymous said: No offense to Chaeyeon or anything, but she must be terrible at hockey. Like the girl looks like a stick. One hit and homegirls sitting pretty in the ER...

i mean.............. she may not be

Anonymous said:LET ME THROW SOME HANDS !!!

i’m not stopping you

@skytimil said:Duuuude Chaeyeon is so fucking R U D E!!!! I don't like her ugh

same tho. lol

Anonymous said:why that chick got her way with vernon I THOT HE IS Y/N'S LIVING MEME!!!!! I AM ANGRY

don’t worry the story isn’t over yet

Anonymous said:That "....Sure" does NOT make me feel good okay. That is NOT a good sign and I'm ready for the next part but at the same time. No. I'm definetly not ready ~~

lolllll. next part 9pm central time. I need to regain my energy lol

Anonymous said:hissssssss 🐍 - med stdt anon

hiss hiss bitch

@svt-angel said:I tried not to judge chae at first but I definitely don't like her... open your eyes Hansol!!! This is getting interesting im loving it 💖💖

lolll dklsdkfjklds will Hansol realize? the world may never know

Anonymous said:I smell a bitch I'm gonna go get my tea

get some tea ready tonight

Anonymous said:am i gonna have to fight chaeyeon

probably tbh

Anonymous said:CHAEYEON! GIRL! i just wanted to be frens;; gotta get dem extra memes ;; why ya’ll gotta be like that ;-;

lmfao right. damn keep ur memes smh

Anonymous said:This bitch chaeyeon gonna catch these handsssssss

post up chaeyeon

Anonymous said: oh lord chae is one of those girls who acts cool around boys and cruel to other girls i hate it!!!

she the type to say “all my friends are guys cause i don’t like drama lol!!!!” no shade to anyone else lmao

Anonymous said:ASDFGHJKL i just woke up to the update and im- Hansol👏really👏being👏an👏idiot👏. I just want happy things ;-; -sleepy anon

ALSO, HOW IS HE GONNA FORGET ABOUT Y/N LIKE THAT AND INVITE SOME OTHER CHICK WITH HIM 🙄🙄 ok Im done 😂😂😂😂 -sleepy anon

awwwwww lol. there’s gotta be a plot tho. and hansol is dumb

Anonymous said:oH NONONO. I F E L T that, the "oh" response to Chaeyeon supposedly sending dAnK MeMeZ!!! 😩 NAH. I am not here for tHIS. PART NINE WYD (love your text series, really~ I don't usually read content like this, but yours feels authentic and I really am enjoying it!)

lmfaoooo thank you bby it really means a lot to me

@peachyming said:THIS CHAEYEON GIRL IS RUBBING ME OFF THE WRONG WAY AND ShE beTTER NOT STEAL Y/N’s CINNAMON SPOT :((

lmaooo. she may. she may not hmmmmm

Anonymous said:i'm only gay for cinnamon (i don't imagine y/n to be me lol). chaeyeon is thirsty, vernon! how can you not see omg

hahahah same i’m gay for cinnamon too.

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jam2289 · 5 years

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Creating Opportunities

I've had more opportunities than most. I've let many slip through my hands. Nevertheless, I create more.

I remember the first time that I realized creating your own opportunities was unusual. I wanted to get a glimpse into the world of real estate when I was in high school. I was going to the Muskegon Area Career Technical Center for marketing and accounting. I went to the office and inquired into doing a real estate internship, how that would work, and if they could help me with it. This was not a normal inquiry and the woman was quite excited about it. I suspect that her normal job was boring and she was happy to break up the monotony with something new and interesting.

I did the real estate internship in the summer between my junior and senior year of high school. I still remember one of my classmates, Aaron, asking how I was able to arrange unique things like that, because it wasn't my first unique activity. I'm not sure I even answered him, I'm sure that if I did it wasn't a good answer. I didn't fully realize it was a unique thing to arrange something like that, I wanted to do it, it seemed like a good idea, I tried to do it, and it happened.

After I turned 18 in February I took a two-week intensive real estate course and got my salesperson license over spring break. When I went back to school I remember sitting at this round table with a few people at it. People were talking about what we had done over spring break, kids had gone on different vacations and such. Someone asked me and I told them I had gotten my real estate license at a course in Grand Rapids. It stopped the conversation. I was not well versed in interpersonal interactions at the time, social interactions in general kind of confused me. It was just a novel enough answer to make everyone have to reorient themselves. One girl, Ashley, looked at me in that flirtatious way that is so disorienting to teenage boys and said, "Oh!, hello Jeff." I had no idea how to process that at the time.

I've done quite a number of things like this. Most of them don't come through: like when I applied to the Peace Corp after I did EMT training, or when I was invited to interview for Who Wants To Be a Millionaire because I was a member of Mensa. Some of them do work out and then I get the questions about how I did it: like when I started teaching English online - I thought it might be worth looking into, I messaged 50 people that were doing it about what I should do, 10 responded, 5 were useful, and 1 offered me a job and I started taking a course another had recommended. Now I've taught over 1,200 students online.

I'm almost always throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks. I'm right in the middle of a bunch of these things, so I figured I would take this opportunity to show what the chaos is like when you're in the middle of trying to find interesting opportunities.

I have a few ongoing things of note. One, I'm writing a comic book with an illustrator. How that happened is simple, but not straightforward. I went to a venture capital fund meeting where I saw several people I know. One of them I knew from Toastmasters. Michelle was judging pitches that night. We talked and I told her about the writing I've been doing. She wanted to connect me with a friend of hers that's an illustrator and had an idea for a comic book, he just needed a writer. Chuck and I met the next week, now I'm writing a comic book, "Dungeon Buddies".

I used to listen to 88.9 Hey Radio in the car (my radio is broken right now). They are a volunteer organization. I figured I would message them and see if there was something that I could do from home that might be helpful. Bill asked me what I wanted to do. I said I didn't know and sent him my resume. Bill said he had thought about doing a blog for the radio station for years, he just hadn't gotten around to it. I thought that would be perfect. We tried it. Now I write a column for a radio station analyzing the lyrics of Christian rock songs.

I started sending those articles to the bands that I was writing about. Several of the bands really liked how I went into depth about their lyrics. They had never seen anything like it before. I thought it might be interesting to do in a speech format.

I've done quite a bit of public speaking, mostly through Toastmasters. I've won a number of speaking contests, spoken at the Gerber Baby Food Festival, given a keynote address that the billion dollar company Sodexo uses for new hires, and a few other things. I'm also giving speeches at the Harry Potter festival in Sparta, MI this year. I wrote a few articles on Harry Potter. The organizer of the festival, Rebecca, saw one of the articles and loved it. She invited me to participate. I said yes. She asked me what I would like to do. I said I could write or speak. She said she has wanted to have a Professor of Muggle Studies presentation for years, she just hadn't been able to arrange it yet. I said I could do that. Now I'm doing it.

Jerry, a friend from Toastmasters gives presentations at Christian Haven Home in Grand Haven once a month. I asked him if I could help. He said yes. He asked if I wanted to speak, I said yes. I prepared a speech about resentment as the most destructive emotion based on an article I wrote. There was some miscommunication about the time so I ended up opening the meeting before Jerry arrived. I gave that speech. At the end of Jerry's presentation there was a little more time so I gave another speech about the depths of philosophical, psychological, and theological questions that are explored in rock lyrics. It went well.

I thought this might be a cool thing to do at rock concerts. I messaged the two bands that were the most excited about how I went into depth with their lyrics: Collision of Innocence and Amongst the Giants. They both thought it was an interesting idea, maybe even a good one. It won't work on their current tours, but it might on the next ones. Since that didn't go through I messaged Bill at the radio station and asked if he had any connections that could get me on stage at the Unity rock festival in Muskegon for the same thing. He's looking into it.

Here's what these conversations look like with the bands. Collision of Innocence first.

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Hi Jeffrey, This is Randy. This is one of the most amazing things. I’m pretty much speechless. Thanks for diving so deep into these words and meanings and offering your time and effort in to doing so! I also like the fact that although we are a faith based band, you didn’t kill the article with religion. It was well thought out but it still offered what we set out to do, which was to create a relationship between those who are struggling and a God through Christ. Amazing work my friend. God Bless & thanks for the work. Keep in touch and hope you can catch our music as it is being released!

COI~

*God through Christ (not a God through Christ). Sorry typo...

I appreciate it. I'm never sure who is going to like that style. I've tried taking a deep approach and a light approach. Bill from the radio station and several people I know have commented on how much they like it when I go deep. I like it too, so I do it. Amongst the Giants also loved my deep dive into their lyrics. That was the first time that I went really intense with this series. It's a real challenge to write about all of these different perspectives at once about controversial topics in a technical way that people can connect with and understand. I've never discussed this with a band before and I have no idea if this would work, so I want your opinion on it. I also do various public speaking. I'm giving over an hour of speeches in front of a crowd of hundreds of people this summer at a Harry Potter festival, for instance. Do you think it would work, and would anyone be interested in, having me speak at a concert about these things? Talking about the layers of meaning behind lyrics and such.

Actually that would be pretty great. Just a word of “the musical” side of it, it would be great if you could get the band to do backing music while you talk. I would say as well it would have to be quick and to the point, entertaining, and passionate. Just like music, it’s also entertainment but the entertainment brings a great message. God Bless brother. Appreciate the good vibes.

That's a good idea. Yeah, it would have to be presented differently than the writing, with shorter more impactful packaging, and just focusing on a piece or two of the lyrics I think.

Are you guys coming to Michigan any time soon?

Not as of now. We do have a show in Indiana for Kingdom Come Fest. June 15th

That's not too bad, about 4 hours for me. Would you be interested in doing it? I gave two speeches yesterday at a senior center. The first was about how resentment is the most destructive emotion and went from Aesop's fable of the Fox and the Grapes, through Cain and Able as the main emphasis, and how it shows the underlying motivations that lead to things like Columbine. The second was on the first stanza of your song and how popular Christian music has depth and meaning to it. They liked it, but the old people said they can't understand the words in rock, lol. I gave a speech today about Leprechauns.

Hey Jeffrey, man that’s super awesome of you to offer. Unfortunately, we only have a 30 minute time slot and 15 minute set up time so we wouldn’t be able to spare any extra time at a Festival event. If we somehow do something with more flexible time we would definetly like to chat further about it. Thank you once again brother. Great talent!!! ☝️

God Bless

Sounds good.

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And here's the conversation with Amongst the Giants.

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I know you guys really liked the article that I wrote about you for 88.9 Hey Radio. I just wrote one for Collision of Innocence and they really liked it. Here it is: http://www.jeffreyalexandermartin.com/2019/03/889-hey-radio-collision-of-innocence.html

I was chatting with them about an idea I had and I wanted your opinion on it. Do you think it would work, and would people be interested, in having something like this done as a speech before or during a concert? Collision of Innocence thought it might be a good idea to have a bit of the instrumental music playing in the background. I have some public speaking experience, for instance I'm giving over an hour of speeches in front of crowds with hundreds of people this summer at a Harry Potter festival. The spoken form would have to have a bit of a different approach from the written articles. I would pull out just a few lyrics and make a few points to help people look deeper into the depths of the lyrics and what they could mean to them. What do you think?

Awesome man!

That could be cool! :-)

Are you guys coming to Michigan any time soon?

I don’t think on this tour but possibly the summer rock fest

Sounds good.

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Will anything come of it? I don't know. Does it matter? It might.

In this very article I've tried starting a few stories with "I remember...". That's because I'm thinking about writing a series of memoirs. I've been told by dozens of people at this point that "You should write a book on that!" after I've told them about my trip climbing Mt. Rainier, or my misadventure in Kenya. I've felt odd about the idea of writing a memoir, but I've been keeping notes on it for a few months now. I'm thinking about calling it "I Remember", so I'm trying it here. It might become something.

I'm editing a flash fiction horror story anthology that I also contributed a story to with my friend Oleg from Russia, "Horror Without Borders". I joined VK, the Russian social network site to see what it was like. Its design is better than Facebook. I didn't know anyone on there so I joined a writing group. I made a few comments. I chatted with Oleg. He liked what I said and asked me if I would edit some subtitle translations he had done for some short horror films his friends had made. I did that. I did more. Now I'm editing two books for his publishing firm, Horrorscope Press.

I just recently sent out this email which explains itself. I attached a story that I wrote in this blog called "The City of Peace". The title of the posts that contain that story are "The XPRIZE Writing Contest...".

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Last year I met one of your reps at the Logging Festival in Newaygo, Michigan. I had never heard of Usborne Books. We talked for a while and they seemed like nice books. My mother has purchased a few for my niece.

Yesterday my sister hosted a Facebook party for Usborne and it reminded me of something that may interest you. I like framed stories, where we dive into a story from another story. James Cameron used that technique in Titanic, Patrick Rothfuss used it in The Kingkiller Chronicle, and there are many other examples throughout history, like Arabian Nights.

It would be great to use the frame of a bedtime story for a series of books designed as bedtime stories. I've done one chapter of a science fiction story like this. I could do this with different fantasy stories, historical fiction stories, etc. It would be easy to make each chapter come to a single day of reading, a full story fit into a week, a set of stories into a month, and the sets into a year. It would make an excellent program promoted as "A Year of Bedtime Stories for You and Your Kid", "A Year of Bedtime Stories to Share with Your Child", or something to that effect. This example is heavy science fiction, maybe a whole series of genres would be successful. Let me know what you think.

Jeff Martin

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Will Usborne ever even read my email? Maybe. Will they read my story? Probably not. So! they might.

I'm taking a psychology course on Youtube from Jon Vervaeke called "Awakening from the Meaning Crisis". It's excellent. In there he recommends a book by Susan Wolf called "Meaning in Life and Why It Matters". I don't think it's a very good book. I think parts of it are even dangerous for psychological health. I feel like I should refute it. A commentary would probably work well, where I show what she wrote and I comment on it. I looked in the copyright. To do it commercially would cost thousands of dollars, but if I did it as a dissertation I could get a free academic permission. I'm looking at doing that.

I gave an impromptu speech at a Toastmasters open house at The Book Nook and Java Shop in Montague a few days ago. It was about Leprechauns and an ancient Irish saying. It went off well. Several people commented on how much they liked the speech. Forbes invited me to visit his club and give a speech there. I sent him these options.

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Alligator Wrestling and the Meaning of Life

Philosophical, Psychological, and Theological Depth in Contemporary Rock Lyrics

How to Not be Suicidal

The How and Why of Writing Comic Books

Resentment as the Path to Destruction

How to Fail and Succeed at Mountain Climbing at the Same Time

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Here's what the general outline of the first speech would look like. I could use this for any adventure.

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jump into adventure (alligator wrestling Cujo, mountain climbing cliff, etc.)

3 values - Viktor Frankl - experiential, more than that, attitudinal, (approach to anxiety, approach to uncertainty, approach to the unknown, approach to the world)

personal

3 levels of knowing - Jerome Bruner and Endel Tulving - enactive

some knowledge is lost at each level, if you really want to know you have to do it

is it just a test? It’s an experience, an experience of what?

the loss of control, and regaining

step into the unknown, and conquer it

face anxiety, and overcome it

I encourage you to do the same.

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A friend of mine, Jon, mentioned after the speech that I should be making money off these speeches. I'm always hesitant about making money off of my abilities, which is a bad life habit and shows marked insecurity, but he also mentioned doing open mic nights. I had never thought about that before. I always think of open mic as music. But, I can give dynamic and interesting speeches. People might like them. I might do that. Maybe I should contact some festivals about giving speeches too. Maybe, maybe. Maybe I should contact adventure companies about giving speeches promoting them and selling tours.

There are other things big and small on my list as well. Health experiments, psychology experiments, social experiments, and the like. Life is much more engaging when you are developing an opportunity, that's why I create them. I encourage you to do that same.

________________________________________________

You can find more of what I'm doing at http://www.JeffreyAlexanderMartin.com

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foreveregyptian · 7 years

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DO ALL OF THE AESTHETIC ASKS (but not the ones you're uncomfortable answering)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

last monday in the gameroom a little louder than i should have

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

any moment i’ve spent with people whose company i enjoy

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I would increase my voluntary salah, make some more dua, probably pray my salah with other people instead of alone, and go back to jumuah (i havent been going and i miss it). overall increase my rememberance of Allah

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

things id like to accomplish in this life inshaallah (based on first thing that comes to mind)

-memorize the Quran

-get married

-travel with my future husband everywhere (inshaallah inshaallah)

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

my mom honestly. sometimes we go on little adventures (thrift stores, short walks, cafes, or even grocery shopping) and she gets excited over the cutest things like teacups and stuff and she works so hard for her business and she balances so much on top of her normal responsibilities mashaallah shes such a great role model may Allah protect her and reward her for everything she does ameen

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I would say my childhood was average, there were a few times where ive gone through rough patches but theyve made me who i am today and I’m thankful for that.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

a couple nights ago in front of my mom, i got overwhelmed with a bunch of things that stressed me out and she knew something was up and she asked about it so i kind of cried a bit.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

my future husband (inshaallah). I dont know why, but it just seems that it should be him. stargazing seems like a really peaceful activity that requires comfortable quiet and that was the first thing that came to mind.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

not really.... considering the fact i’m kind of awkward at first meeting people.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

with maryam, shes one of my best friends and im thankful for her

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

To anyone in the room, my shahaada (bearing witness that there is no God worthy of worship except Allah and that Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him is His servant and Messenger)

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

They’re calming to look into!

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

Its a verse from the Quran that I feel like has affected my life alot, from surah Hashr ayah 59, the translation being “And be not like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves. Those are the defiantly disobedient.” along with surah Ra’d ayah 28, “Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest”. Lately ive been feeling alot of anxiety for issues of this dunya, and at the same time i have to be honest but I wasnt 100% with remembering Allah. I was doing it, but it wasnt with the best intentions, and I’m trying to fix it. Alhamdulillah my chest is a bit lighter and I feel calmer, as if my heart is at more ease than it was before, subhanallah.

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

probably donate it to my community school, they really need the money for repairs.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

I didnt used to be. I used to hold grudges for a long time until i realized it wasnt healthy and also it wasnt good. and then i was forgiving to people who had harmed me, but if anyone did anything to my friends i would stay mad at them even when my friends had forgiven them (at this point i was like okay tasneem chill). now i can say (alhamdulillah) that i have an okay level of forgiveness (better than what i used to have before).

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

Dont worry about what other people think about you because none of it matters in the end. You are beautiful. You will go through fake friends and one sided friendships and they will leave but you will find gems that will help you grow as a person and will be there for you and call you out on your mistakes for your sake so grit your teeth a bit more and ride it out, verily with hardship comes ease. drill that in your mind, repeat it, because you will go through so much difficulty and emptiness but none of it is in vain. You did not go to umd like you wanted but youre much happier here alhamdulillah and you’ll see why.

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

pastel! definetly pastel

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

I’ve been exposed to cultures where nose piercings are normal, and i have my ears pierced. for myself i wouldnt want to go past either of those but people are free to pierce whatever they want. Tattoos mehhhhhh i wont judge anyone who has them but theyre not allowed in Islam. personally i prefer henna.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i wear whatever im in the mood/energy for on each given day, but if its a big even i do a full face (what i consider full face is foundation/concealer and my eyes/eyebrows, plus occasional highlight) I dont have time in my routine for eyeshadow or learning how to do it. On class days that i do wear it it’ll range from fresh face to eyebrows and eyeliner+mascara.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

Donald Trump, you are the shittiest human being in the world. (not changing this)

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

(has not been to a concert)

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

red bc its cool

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

zaynub, maryam, hibaaq, afraah, and raneem and maybe somewhere in dc or an art museum or a city with cafes OH YEAH A CAT CAFE

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i saw this fanart of a hijabi airbender and it was so freaking cool i wanted to do a costume party and do a hijabified avatar character bc thats sick as heck

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

lol the most high ive been was at the dentist office off of laughing gas and my limbs were falling off the chair and i was laughing my head off

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

kill someone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

i’d rather only listen to one song because i love the people i surround myself with and i cant choose just one.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

for me it was kind of heart painful. my heart would miss the person a bit after they passed by and it would go on for months... wishing for another way to see them even if its just a few seconds, the feeling that you’ve met before and wish to meet again, and after a long time when you think you’re over them, they show up and it all starts over.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i’ve been told id look good in short hair and ive always wanted to try it?

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

honestly my drinks vary but i usually like eating the turkey egg white sandwich. not even myself bc i never know what i want from there *nervous sweats*

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

making it to Paradise via pleasing Allah (SWT)

#personal #ask #14phbitch

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articulate-response-blog · 7 years

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“I Think 'Dunkirk' Was Mediocre at Best, and It's Not Because I'm Some Naive Woman Who Doesn't Get It”

The offending article in question: http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity/news/a28515/dunkirk-movie-review/ by Mehera Bonner

I am a white man. I take issue with Bonner’s article not because I hate “SJWs” or “Feminazis,” but because this article stylizes itself as a movie review and instead uses most of its space to tear down strawmen and generally be misandrist.

misandry: noun; dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men

Let’s look at the text of the article itself:

“That movie was fucking bomb." That was one reaction I overheard after watching Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new directorial gift to men, who are currently spending their time fervently ranking his movies, arguing about said rankings, and—presumably—wearing fedoras completely un-ironically. Or even worse, ironically.

Bonner begins with a thesis of sorts: Dunkirk is a “directorial gift to men,” and men who enjoy his movies like to wear fedoras, presumably because they are stupid.

However, as we will see, Bonner does not fully support her thesis. She does bring up some valid criticism of the movie, but the article seems to devolve into repeating the same language found in this first paragraph without explaining her points. I’m not saying she needs to provide “data and statistics” for her movie review. Movie reviews are subjective. She needs to explain why Dunkirk is a “directorial gift to men,” and, if possible, why men are stupid and like to wear fedoras.

Obviously she doesn’t outright state that men are stupid here (that comes later), but for Bonner, the fedora is a synecdoche for the stereotype of a “neckbeard”: a white, fat, fedora-wearing man, who generally holds sexist beliefs and attitudes, while at the same time complaining and loudly wondering why they are not socially popular. The neckbeard is a strawman- but it’s not even clear what should be in place of the strawman. For no better reason, Bonner seems to mention men if only because Dunkirk is generally about a war populated heavily by men. There are no neckbeards in Dunkirk.

If Bonner wanted to address the societal implications of Dunkirk, or explain how the heated anti-woman and anti-minority atmosphere of the current day played into her opinion of Dunkirk, I would be fine with that. In fact, I wouldn’t be writing this at all. I don’t think movies or any other art need to be divorced from the society in which they were made to be able to judge them fairly. But Bonner doesn’t do that. She just attacks “pretentious men” who “would love nothing more than to explain to [Bonner] why [she’s] wrong about not liking it.”

There are points about the film in this article:

The thing is, I just don't think Dunkirk is a very good movie—if your definition of the word movie is "moving images held together by a plot." Like, yes: Dunkirk is very well-made. I felt like I was going to vomit during it, because that's how intense it was. And if your interests include riding a visual roller coaster called war, you will love it. But if you're a fan of films with plots, Dunkirk doesn't play that game. It's as if Christopher Nolan (sorry, "Nolan") plucked out the war scene from a script, and was like "let's just make this part extra long and call it a movie, lol."

Here Bonner notes that she believes the film is well-made, but criticizes the overall plot structure of Dunkirk- something which has been divisive. Some critics like the structure, others don’t. I wonder what part of Dunkirk’s “plot” didn’t resonate with Bonner, but she doesn’t elaborate, instead choosing to mock “war movie fans,” “Christopher Nolan fans,” and Nolan himself.

The film, in case you aren't already aware due to the endless critical musings devoted to it, is about the real life battle of Dunkirk—where British and Allied troops were rescued by civilian boats and evacuated. It's a story worthy of being told and re-told, and I really enjoy war movies in general, but still—actual stuff needs to happen. Stuff other than scenes of men burning in oil-covered water, ships sinking, and bodies drowning. If you want to argue that the non-stop violent intensity of the film was the point, and that we should feel fully immersed in the war like we're living it ourselves—I present Harry Styles.

I would disagree with her that what is pictured in Dunkirk isn’t “actual stuff.” I’m not sure what she means by “actual stuff,” again, because she doesn’t elaborate, but she does bring up a good point about Harry Styles:

The One Direction band member did a surprisingly impressive job in what turned out to be a pretty major role, but I refuse to believe it's possible for any viewer with even a semblance of pop-culture knowledge not see him and immediately go "OMG, it's Harry Styles."

I think this is an interesting point. I haven’t seen it mentioned by any other critics and it is definetly something I would agree with Bonner about. Seeing Styles in the movie distracted me from the overall tone (the “violent intensity” that Bonner mentioned earlier), and made me focus more on his performance.

Much like Ed Sheeran's cameo in Game of Thrones, having a pop star casually show up in a film will inevitably remove the audience from the narrative and ground them back in reality. Harry Styles is a constant reminder to the viewer that the movie isn't real, while the entire excuse for the film's intense and admittedly-impressive cinematography is to convince the viewer that they're right there in it. You can't have your Harry Styles cake and eat it too.

Yup.

But my main issue with Dunkirk is that it's so clearly designed for men to man-out over.

Unfortunately, here we veer off the rails and return to Bonner’s “thesis.”

And look, it's not like I need every movie to have "strong female leads." Wonder Woman can probably tide me over for at least a year, and I understand that this war was dominated by brave male soldiers. I get that.

A prevailing theme in this article is language that suggests Bonner needs to justify her criticisms even before she makes them, especially in regards to the “directorial gift to men” argument.

Let’s watch how Bonner begins to make a point about the film, but instead replaces it with misandry:

But the packaging of the film, the general vibe, and the tenor of the people applauding it just screams "men-only"

Ok, how?

—and specifically seems to cater to a certain type of very pretentious man who would love nothing more than to explain to me why I'm wrong about not liking it. If this movie were a dating profile pic, it would be a swole guy at the gym who also goes to Harvard. If it was a drink it would be Stumptown coffee. If it was one of your friends, it would be the one who starts his sentences with "I get what you're saying, but..."

Oh.

I guess congratulations are in order for Nolan managing to unite high-brow male critics and very annoying people on Twitter under a common bromance, but to me, Dunkirk felt like an excuse for men to celebrate maleness—which apparently they don't get to do enough.

Oh.

I might as well ask again- how did the packaging and general vibe promote this idea of “men-only?” How does Dunkirk feel like an excuse for men to celebrate maleness? Why are the men (and only men) who like Dunkirk, douche bros?

Bonner does not go on to explain.

Fine, great, go forth, but if Nolan's entire purpose is breaking the established war movie mold and doing something different—why not make a movie about women in World War II? Or—because I know that will illicit cries of "ugh, not everything has to be about feminism, ugh!"—how about any other marginalized group?

Because that’s not Nolan’s idea of “breaking the established war movie mold.” In Nolan’s other films, he focuses heavily on non-linear plots, among other things. Bringing that conception of plot to war movies does break the war movie mold. Taking out “men” and slotting in “women or other marginalized groups” to make a war movie does not break the war movie mold.

These stories shouldn't be relegated to indie films and Oscar season. It's up to giant powerhouse directors like Nolan to tell them, which is why Dunkirk feels so basic.

Here is a list of 10 films about women in wartime, by the British Film Institute. Here is Red Tails, a movie about the (all-black) Tuskegee Airmen, released in late January 2012 (after Oscar season), with a budget of 58 million dollars.

I agree there is a shortage of movies about the experiences of women and minorities in all time periods, but to charge Nolan with creating a movie that was “an excuse for men to celebrate maleness” because he didn’t focus on who Bonner wanted him to is ridiculous.

It's a summer war movie. It'll make you fear for the future and pray that we never fight again. You might get kind of sick. If you're like me, a random man will come up to you after and explain why you're wrong for disliking it. But this war movie isn't special. At the end of the day, it's like all the rest of them.

As a side point, I’m not sure how a random man could come up to you and explain why you’re wrong for disliking it- how would this random man know you disliked it?

Bonner’s conclusion, and article overall, is very weak. It spent some time discussing the movie, but also spent more time leveling ridiculous attacks at people who like the movie, mostly because they are men.

I’m conflicted, however, because I can somewhat see the reasoning underpinning Bonner’s complaints about “pretentious men.” There has always been a culture of male eliteness in filmmaking, and especially in film criticism, and for a movie like Dunkirk, helmed by one of the most successful directors in the world, it’s not surprising that such a culture would be on display. But none of Bonner’s article seems to be addressing that culture, and Bonner doesn’t handle the subject with any seriousness.

The article comes off as a way to bait other critics, especially male ones, into a session of “well you’re sexist because you can’t handle my opinion. har har isn’t the male ego so fragile?”

But what do I know? I’m a man, after all.

#dunkirk #review #response #articulate #feminism #sjws #strawman #misandry #misogony #marie claire #mehera bonner

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