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hailsatanacab · 6 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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nonas-third-tantrum · 10 months

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modern au where nona makes a powerpoint hoping to convince camilla to let her get a dog

#camilla comes home one day and nona and pyrrha are sitting patiently in the darkened living room with this projected on the tv #she checks out halfway through and lets pal take over to sit through the rest of it (it’s 37 slides)#nona the ninth #the locked tomb #tlt #this came to me in a vision

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egophiliac · 4 months

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ok so as someone still relatively new to TWST (and someone just taking the events as they come to EN instead of keeping up with the JP side) and as a Jack Howl simp

I am of the (CORRECT) opinion that he should absolutely get an Applepom look because... fwuffy. and hat with ear holes. and he'd be SO insistent that he's used to the cold and doesn't need it but he will take it once it's insisted on because he's polite and won't refuse Gramma Felmier

Also I think a fun twist on the "someone's sled breaks and their plushie tears so they have to come up with another idea" bit from the other event is that Jack goes wolf mode to pull the sled (because as said in his starsending wish he pulls sleds back at home on breaks to try and get faster as a wolf!)

I'm biased though because I need more Jacc in my life

Thoughts?

thank you anon for bringing the mental image of harveston Jack into my life. he would be SO fluffy...so warm...he would haul so many apples...

also while I love the imagery of him pulling the sled, I feel like that would probably get them insta-disqualified. :( unless they can somehow 1) convince the judges that this enormous talking wolf is actually a very well-made plush, and 2) get Jack to go along with it (I do think Jack would instantly respect Marja as being more alpha or whatever and would have to, like, choose between his sense of JUSTICE, or going along with cheating at this sporting event so an authority figure doesn't get mad at him) (...wait this is just the plot of episode 2 again) (DANGIT)

#art #twisted wonderland #marja would never stand for cheating though. this is NOT how she became idia's sports anime waifu.#that said we deserve a jack in cuddly winter knits #maybe next winter-themed event...#if i remember right he also canonically snowboards and now i suddenly want a card of that #i want to see whatever weird fantasy twist on snowboarding they would do for an event #jack: for contrived reasons i need 3-5 peers to join my traditional hometown competition where the boards are made of candy or whatever #no you don't understand it would be like...peppermint-themed and extremely cute. i actually do very much want this now.#(sorry to keep doing the marker-style stuff i'm just having fun with ~brushes~)#(also sorry for taking forever with this) (stuff is busy right now!)#(eyes slide away from inbox timestamps...)

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puppysdog · 3 months

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yes marcille is cis but she still has a dick because shes an elf girl

#.txt #and she definitely is a bad top #no pace #her hair keeps getting in yoyr face and mouth #she finally starts hitting somehwere good but the second you say that it feels good she moves too much #she slides out all the time without realizing #cums like quarter teaspoons

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majosullivan · 1 month

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I wish I had the ability to grab Annabel by the shoulders through the screen and yell at her to just tell Lenore that Montresor was originally planning to kill her and she threw out Duke’s name in order to protect her. Like from a character perspective, I completely get why she would think that wouldn’t be important to mention considering how she views everyone else at Nevermore, but boy, even though it wouldn’t have fixed everything right there, that is very important information about the situation Lenore should know about

<(45/??)>

[read more]

+Bonus!

#love you girlie but you really made this situation much harder for yourself #very concerned about her plans for Duke and Pluto in the future though #cause she is not going to let their murder attempt slide #but I would hope that she recognises that if she does do something horrible to get revenge on them that will NOT go well with Lenore #nevermore #webtoon nevermore #nevermore webtoon #annabel lee whitlock #annabel lee nevermore #text post meme #nevermore text post memes

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reminiscingtonight · 2 months

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Trinity's been going through it

#legend has it she's still sliding #trinity rodman #uswnt #A.gifs

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marvel-lous-guy · 4 months

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Tony: What the hell was that!?

Peter: A calculated risk!

Tony: you shot me!

Peter: I SAID IT WAS CALCULATED! I NEVER SAID I WAS GOOD AT MATH!

Tony: it doesn't take a genius to understand that if you pull the trigger an arrow will be fired at whoever is at the end of the bow!

Peter: It's a HARPOON

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cryptid-condor · 1 year

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uh oh

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun meryl #Vash the Stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #dont let your designated parkour guy wear slides #i downloaded the ready steady roll poster for colors and started wheezing when i noticed woofwood was losing a shoe in that picture too #fucker CANONICALLY doesnt wear socks #personally i think vash is one of those guys that buys shoelaces too long for his shoes #then he has to double-wrap his laces so he doesnt trip over them #this is a very important headcannon keep it in mind whenever you see my stampede vash #meryl is just a little football #she isnt getting away from the shoe slander though who wears white shoes on a trip through the desert #all my rat

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vamprisms · 20 days

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you cannot be tagging posts about wanting more women in fiction to spit in eachothers mouths with little tv shows they make for babies

#will kind of let it slide because it does have lesbians in it but we both know i was not talking about she-ra

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benevolenterrancy · 1 month

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@achilleasfury Xue Yang thinks this meeting could have been an email

for anyone that actually wants to see the very professional and carefully thought out powerpoint

the "dad's approval" graph i think was an excellent touch on her part

#su she is respecting his crisis at least #mdzs #jin guangyao #jgy #xue yang #xy #su she #su minshan #sms #3zun #and thanks to my girlfriend who made me the powerpoint slide despite knowing nothing about this nonsense u.u she's the real mvp #my art #you know given that jgy is supposed to constantly be really put together with his Customer Service Smile #i'm pretty sure almost every picture i've ever drawn of him is of him kinda losing his shit #poor guy cannot catch a break

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widebruh · 9 months

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#they hate to see a girlboss winning #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #okay this is epic #coelacanth #damn who is she like is she single can i slide into her dms like whats up girl??#196 #r/196 #rule #apartmentofawesome

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couch-house · 7 months

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literally everyone was there for knuckles' suicidal freakout EXCEPT the guy who got a whole character arc about how badly he deals with his friends dying