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nautiscarader · 3 years

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Nautiscarader’s Wendip Week day 3: Prank War

geez, this one took a while. I apologise, and let’s hope next one will arrive faster

(ao3)

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Someone standing outside of The Mystery Shack might have thought that the living room contained a very predictable lighting bug, or at least that someone inside was broadcasting a rather boring Morse code message using light signals.

In reality, it was just Wendy and Dipper, slouched on the sofa, surfing TV channels, giving each of them at most three seconds to entertain their bored minds. So far, none of them stood up to the challenge.

But as Wendy continued the only physical activity she had the energy for, i.e. pressing one button, something finally caught their attention.

- "What's up everyone? It's your boy, the Prankster Prancer!"

A loud, obnoxious, blonde man in his twenties, wearing spiky, gelled hair rode into the shot on a fake unicorn, face-hugged the camera, filling the wide-angle lens and made both Dipper and Wendy jump in their seats as loud horn noise shook the air around them.

- Wait, I thought this guy was only on the internet! - Wendy raised her brow - Did he escape to the real world?! - Come on, who in the right mind would give him a show? - "So, first of all, thanks to our station, The Cheese Network, for giving me the chance to entertain you guys..."

Dipper and Wendy groaned in collective understanding.

- "...and for giving us some cheese to pay for our last week's prank!"

The screen dimmed and the camera changed to an aerial shot, containing not only fires and flood, but also several military helicopters.

- "So last time we did some EPIC prank during the gender reveal party and we've made a hole in the ozone hole!"

The man made extra effort to extend every vowel in the last word, to an equally obnoxious collection of sound effects.

- Wow. That looks... bad. Even by our standards. - Wendy watched the footage. - Yeah. Good thing this dude stays away from us. - "And now it's time to reveal the next place for our EPIC PRANK!"

The man took a baseball bat and unceremoniously smashed the unicorn doll in half, and stuck his hand in the fake guts, revealing an envelope.

- "And this one is a suggestion from my top commentator on-line, that girl leaves comments under every single one of my videos, so I could not ignore her request".

The envelope was opened, and suddenly, a girl's voice began reading it.

- "Dear Prankster Prancer. I love your videos, and how creative your calamity can be..." - Wait a minute - Dipper sat up, as his eyes widened in horror - Is that- - "My name is Mabel Pines, and I am staying in a small town called Gravity Falls, in Oregon...".

Dipper and Wendy looked at each other and understood each other at once.

- Barricade the doors!

But it was too late. As Dipper ran towards the lobby, the door were smashed to the ground, seemingly under the power of the air horns, and flooded the Shack with lights. The same blonde man walked inside, as if he owned the place, leading with him Mabel Pines.

- What's up birches? Is that how you call people living in the middle of a forest? - he shoved his face to the camera again. - More like, in the middle of nowhere! - Mabel added, high-five'ing him - Thankfully, me and my Prankster Protégé are gonna rock this place! - he shouted.

Dipper Pines stood up and cleaned himself from the dust and debris, watching as the two rock their heads to some aggressive tune.

- Hold on a minute! Mabel, why did you invite him here? If anything, there's too much going around in here! - Ugh, this is my little brother, Dipper. - Mabel rolled her eyes - I'm-I'm not little! - Dipper stomped in place - We're twins!

Somewhere behind him, Wendy snickered.

- What, you just look adorable when you're angry.

Dipper turned back and stormed towards his sister.

- Mabel, do you have amnesia or something? Gravity Falls is full of amazing things! We've been on treasure hunts, found all sorts of monsters in every lake, glade and a cave... You wanted to date a zombie on out first day here! - Yeah, sure, kid, as if I could just walk into a forest and find a dead body... - the Prankster took a sip of soda, looking somewhat nervously. - Mabel, we've seen living dinosaurs here! - Yeah, like I can see one now!

The Prankster pointed to the kitchen and very confused Grunkle Stan in his pajamas.

- What in the DMV is going on here? - Check this out, a living fossil!

The Prankster jumped towards Grunkle Stan and unceremoniously took a selfie with him.

- Oh no, my eyes! The light is coming towards me instead of the other way around!

Stan cried when flash of light blinded him, and with a sleigh of hand, the blonde man undid his belt, causing Stan to nearly trip and fall, if it wasn't for Wendy.

- Hey, you! You're not a prankster, you're a jerk!

At the sound of those words, the man stopped laughing and turned his attention, as well as cameras, towards Wendy.

- What's that? We've got ourselves a HATER!

An air horn was about to blow her hat off, but Wendy swiftly grabbed it and twisted it.

- Yeah, that's what I've said, you're a jerk. I like pranking people, but not to hurt them. - And watchu gonna do, leave a mean comment? - No, we're gonna prank you. - Wendy reached and brought Dipper towards her. - Cos we've done some pranking together ourselves! - Like what? - Like... when we've made our friend think his inflatable tube could talk!

The Prankster shot them with a dead stare.

- You know what, I don't even have time to play the "wah-wah" soundbite. But if you want to lose, your call. Tomorrow, we're gonna get an EPIC PRANK-OFF!

And he shot a pose in front of the camera.

- Right, now tell me where's someplace to eat. And they better have unlimited refills. - Lazy Susan is neat. And there's water tower nearby...

And with that, he and Mabel walked off, leaving the small destruction behind them.

- Wendy! - Dipper turned at once towards her - Are you crazy? He has entire film crew! And money! And very little empathy! He's gonna plough through us! - Chill out, man, we're gonna trick him, one way or another.

And she gently smacked the edge of his hat.

- Er, I know you guys like to babble all the time, but I still can't get up. - Grunkle Stan grumbled from the floor.

=============

The next day, Wendy woke up at the break of dawn with unbridled optimism. Dipper less so, and he was a bit nervous when Wendy gathered him and her crew in the small lumberjack shack in the woods to explain the plan of action.

- So, any questions? - she asked

At the same time, every teenager in the small room raised hands.

- So, how does exactly the can of whipped cream is supposed to work with the rake? - Tambry asked - And what do we have to do with the rat-shaped balloons? - Thompson asked shyly. - And can't we just... punch him? - Robbie suggested, mimicking the action. - Ugh, you guys!

Wendy groaned and hid her face in her hands. hearing the murmurs of doubt across the room, Dipper quickly stood up and continued.

- Guys, this jerk is giving us, pranksters, a bad name! We gotta prank him in a way that shows we are better... Because we can do better!

He watched as faces of the older teenagers brighten with his speech. Several of them even smiled.

- Plus he could, like, sue us for millions of dollars, so we gotta stay clean.

With newly gained optimism, the gang rushed to Thompson's van and readied themselves for the prank.

- Thanks, man, for giving me a hand. - Wendy suddenly patted Dipper's back. - Oh, no-no problem. - Dipper spoke, wondering if she noticed his blush.

=========

- Alright, we're all in places.

Wendy spoke to her phone, and observed the places, leaning from behind the wall. Her eyes moved from Robbie, hidden in the abandoned ice-cream stall, to Thompson, on top of a tree, to Tambry, pretending to read a large newspaper, and finally, to Dipper, holding a bag of provisions.

- We-Wendy, I'm not sure if this is gonna work. - Now!

She commanded, as Prankster walked nonchalantly out of the store. He thre away the half-eaten sandwich he just bought and was about to walk into the string that would have activate the whipped cream... if he didn't make a sudden jump.

He then threw something into the stall.

- Oh, crap, it's a grenade!

Robbie stormed out, tripping on the same wire he helped setting up, which resulted in his black hair covered in white goo and sprinkles.

Tambry was supposed attack next, but Prankester was already next to her. He took a bucket of soapy water and dumped it over her, destroying her diguise that covered her pruple hair.

For Thompson, he didn't even have to do much - he threw a mouse toy into the air, and listened how the boy tumbles down, shrieking.

And finally, he took something big and colourful out of his backpack and tossed it onto the street, watching as Dipper and Wendy rush towards it.

- Limited edition Giraffeoala!

They realised the two were after it when it was too late. Their heads collided with each other, just as the elusive plushie was yanked from their hands, back into his bag.

- Seriously, guys? You wanted to outsmart me? There like five of you and you couldn't do it. - Ha! That was a good one! - Mabel emerged from behind his back and did another high-five. - But I couldn't do it without you. - he pointed at her. - Me? But I didn't do anything... - Of course you did.

The Prankster lowered his sunglasses.

- Last evening at that stupid bar. You told me you were friends with everyone here. You told me how one of them likes gloomy, dark places. Like another one is afraid of mice. Like another one never looks away from her phone...

Mabel's ecstatic, radiant smile faded with each word the Prankster spoke, and her eyes, widened from excitation began to fill with tears.

- And, well, you told me what these two dorks are obsessed about... amongst other things. - Mabel! - Wendy and Dipper cried at the same time. - But-But I didn't... - Aw, really? You feel sad for them? LAME. - he pushed her aside and waved for his crew that followed him anyway.

For quite a while, all the small town could hear was Mabel Pines sobbing, until someone closed his arms around her.

- There, there, sis. - Dipper spoke quietly. - I guess you see why were so angry now. - I-I didn't know he would...

Dipper hugged her, letting her cry as much as she wants into his vest.

- It's not your fault, Mabel. - Wendy added, taking a knee and gently patting her. - But-But it is! - Well... Kinda... - Robbie added, and received a cold, piercing stare from Wendy. - Jerks like that like to... use people. And they know that the best ones are those, who are most trusting and kind.

Mabel's sniffing stopped, as Wendy continued.

- But you know what? - Dipper spoke suddenly - I think I got an idea...

He let go of his sister rushed to the Prankster, sitting on one of the toy unicorns, tossing quarter after quarter, while two children in queue began to tear up.

- Hey, you! - Ugh, you again, twerp. What, want me to reveal more secrets about you and your stupid hobbies? Or, like, who is your biggest crush after a toy plushie from the 90s?

Dipper's face reddened, but he remained unperturbed.

- We're not done yet. Tomorrow we're gonna prank you for good. Double or nothing! - Ugh, sure, fine. - the Prankster didn't even look at him - It's not like I can do anything until my lawyers clean up the whole "gender reveal party" fiasco. Like, who cares if the whole state is now inhabitable for life?

==============

By the next morning, the battleground was set. Cameras and tons of equipment surrounded the small grassy meadow in front of the Mystery Shack, where Dipper and Wendy were sitting in their chairs with their arms crossed, both wearing much more confident smiles. And the fact that Mabel was with them added them extra layer of morale.

When the clock struck 12, a mighty roar shook the place, as monster truck drove from behind the tree line, smoking and setting nearby branches on fire. The Prankster Prancer jumped out of it, and, drowned in the flashes of cameras, walked into his place.

- So, are you twerps ready for the FINAL PRANK OF YOUR LIFE? - he roared into the microphone, rolling his tongue back and forth as if he was about to eat it. - Nah, we're not gonna prank you. - Wendy shrugged - But someone else will.

The newly reinstalled door to the Mystery Shack opened, and a new figure appeared. An elderly woman walked out, being led by Grunkle Stan that gallantly helped her, for once not sneaking his hand into her purse.

And when she looked up from behind her glasses, the confident smile on Prancer's face disappeared at once.

- Grandma?! What-What are you doing here?! - Oh, don't you know? - Grunkle Stan rushed with explanation - We, old folks, all know each other. And I simply couldn't let her miss her grandson's grand day! - I'm so glad I can see you, Archibald!

The elderly lady used her cane to hook him by his neck and brought him into his arms, despite his best efforts to avoid any interactions.

- G-Grandma, don't- don't call me that! - Why not? - she continued, seemingly ignoring her grandson efforts to escape her tight hug. - I am your grandma, and I will call you by your full name, Archibald Roderick Sebastian Eugene!

Somewhere behind them, Dipper, Wendy and Mabel were having the time of their life, trying to hide their laughter.

- So, wait, his initials literally make him an... - Grandma! Make them stop! They-they are laughing at me! - Nonsense! Those young folks told me all your fans would love to see me talk about you. So I've send them some photos via the eclectic mail!

The blonde man looked to the side at Wendy and Dipper's faces. Their wide smiles told him everything, and in the act of ultimate desperation, he gently shook his head, silently mouthing his plea. He then looked at Mabel's, but hers was filled with spite.

In response, Mabel simply pressed a button.

The enormous screen behind them lit up, showing an adorable newborn blonde boy in diaper, giggling at the baby rattle.

Several more followed, showing his equally naked body in progressively embarrassing positions.

The screen changed, and the same boy was now three-years old, wearing a strict haircut as well as a bowtie. And the worst part was, he looked happy.

The Prankster Prancer fell to his knees, as tears began rolling from his eyes, which his grandma quickly dried with her handkerchief.

- Oh, yes, I do tear up a little at this one too. Oh, but the next one makes me so proud!

Prancer's eyes widen, if possibly even more, and throwing away all the pretence, he rushed to Wendy and Dipper and began begging them for mercy. But it was for nothing. He knew they have seen the photo already.

And with another press of a button, a seven-year old Prancer was shown, wearing a blue cardigan, sitting in an armchair with a big book in his hands, smiling at the camera, proudly showing his braces.

The scanned photo displayed a title, written in crayon over it.

"I love school!"

Flocks of birds flew into the air from the nearby trees in response to the shriek that reverberated the air, full of remorse, despair, and unmistakably, defeat.

- Nooooo!

The Prancer hit the ground with his fists, for which he was quickly reprimanded by his grandma ("You're going to make them dirty!"), while Wendy and Dipper high-fived each other, before giving Mabel a warm hug.

=============

- So I guess that will teach him? - Dipper asked Wendy as the two lay on the sofa, flicking through the channels again. - Pfh. I wish it did. - Wendy reached for her phone and showed Dipper a familiar blonde man waving his arms uncontrollably. - "What's up Prankster Pros? It's ya boy, and I've got this sweet book deal full of my MOST EMBARASSING photos! Look at that baby bottom! Only for $99.99..." - Geez, I guess they never learn. - Nope. But at least he's not here...

For a while the room dimmed every few seconds, as Wendy searched for anything interesting, but something else was on Dipper's mind.

- So... about those Cuddle Buddies...

The remote fell out of Wendy's hand.

- Uh, yeah, so, I just...

She shied away and mumbled her answer, until she saw a polite smile on Dipper's face.

- So, like, remember ever since you wanted to win that Duck Panda for me? I... kinda got into them, you know. Not like, obsessively collecting them, but... you know. - Yeah, I do. For cuddling.

The two looked at each other and exchanged the same, warm smiles.

- So which generation you like the most? - Well, gen 2 obviously - she rolled her eyes - What? Five is the best. - The best as sucking, perhaps. - Come on, they had changed the lead designer and everything, but they're still Cuddle Buddies...

For quite a while, the channel stayed on, as neither of them bother to change it. And when the night fell on, Wendy and Dipper realised that they might have discovered something new to talk about.

#nautiscaraderfics #wendipweek #wendip week #wendip #wendy corduroy #dipper pines #gravity falls #prank war

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Michael in the Mainstream: The Chris Columbus Harry Potter Films

Here’s a bold stance to take these days: I actually still really love the Harry Potter franchise.

Yes, this series hasn’t had a huge impact on my own writing; my stories I’m working on draw far more from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and the Percy Jackson series than they do Harry Potter. And yes, the author of the franchise has outed herself as a transphobic scumbag whose every post-script addition to her franchise has been an unprecedented bad move (save, perhaps, for allowing Johnny Depp the opportunity to work during a very trying time in his life). But while the author is a horrendous person and the story hasn’t exactly given me as much to work with as other stories have, there are so many great themes, ideas, and characters that even now I’d still say this is one of my favorite series of all time. The world of Harry Potter is just so fascinating, the usage of folklore is interesting, and it has one of the most menacing and disturbing villains in young adult literature and manages to play the whole “love prevails over evil” cliché in such a way that it actually works.

And, of course, then we get into what I’m really here to talk about: the adaptations. The movies are not entirely better than the books; while I do think most of the films are on par with their novel counterparts, and they certainly do a good job of scrubbing out some of the iffier elements in Rowling’s writing, I still think there’s a certain, ahem, magic that the books have that gives them a slight edge. But, look, I’m a movie reviewer, and these films are some of my favorites of all time, and as much as I love the books I’m not going to sit around and say the books surpass them in every single way. There’s a lot to love in these films, and hopefully I’ll be able to convey that as I review the series.

Of course, the only place to truly start is the Chris Columbus duology. Columbus is not the most impressive director out there – this is the man who gave us Rent, Pixels, and that abominable adaptation of Percy Jackson after all – but early on in his career he made a name for himself directing whimsical classics such as the first two Home Alone movies and Mrs. Doubtfire. Those films are wonderfully cast and have a lot of charm, and thankfully this is the Columbus we got to bring us the first two entries in Harry’s story.

One of the greatest strengths of the first two Harry Potter movies is just the sheer, unrelenting magic and wonder they invoke. They’re so whimsical, so enchanting, so fun; they fully suck you into the world Rowling created and utilize every tool they can to keep you believing. Everything in these films serves to heighten the magic; practical effects and CGI come together with fantastic costuming and set design to make the world of wizards and Hogwarts school feel oh so real. And of course, none of this would be even remotely as effective if not for the legendary score by John Williams, who crafted some of the most iconic and memorable compositions of the 21st century for these films. In short: the tone of these films is pretty perfect for what they are, and every element in them works to make sure you are buying into this tone at every moment.

The other massively important element is the casting, and by god, the casting in these films is simply perfect. Of course, the title characters and his peers have to be unknowns, and thankfully they managed to pluck out some brilliant talent. I don’t need to tell you how good Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson are, even back in these films, but I do feel the need to say that Rupert Grint is vastly underappreciated; I really don’t think the films would work quite as well without his presence, because he does bring that goofy charm Harry’s friend group needs to balance it out. Matthew Lewis is the adorable coward Neville Longbottom and Tom Felton is the snotty brat Draco Malfoy, and though both of their roles are fairly minor in the first two films they manage to make their mark. The second movie pulls in Bonnie Wright as Ginny, and again, I’m gonna say she’s rather underrated; I think she did quite a fine job in her role.

But of course, the real draw of these films is the sheer amount of star power they have in terms of U.K. actors. You’ve got Maggie Smith (McGonagall), Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid), Warwick Davis (Flitwick and, bafflingly, only the voice of Griphook, who was played by the American Verne Troyer in the first film for… some reason), John Hurt (Ollivander), Toby Jones (Dobby), John Cleese (Nearly Headless Nick)… and this is only the first two films. The movies would continue pulling in stars like it was Smash Ultimate, determined to tell you that “EVERYONE IS HERE” and be the ultimate culmination of U.K. culture.

Of course, even in the first few movies there are those who truly stand out as perfect. Smith and Coltrane are most certainly the perfect embodiment of their characters, but I think a great deal of praise should be given to Richard Griffiths as Uncle Vernon; the man is a volatile, raging bastard the likes of which you rarely see, and he is at once repulsive and comical. He’s pretty much the British answer to J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. Then we have Jason Isaacs as Lucius Malfoy in the second film, and he is just delightfully, deliciously devilish and dastardly. Isaacs actually came up with a lot of Mr. Malfoy’s quirks himself, such as the long blonde hair, the cane wand, and the part where he tries to murder a small child in cold blood for releasing his house elf (which came about because he forgot literally every other spell and had just read Goblet of Fire, so...). Then of course there is Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart, and… well, it’s Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart. I don’t think you could find a more perfect casting choice (except perhaps Hugh Grant, who was originally cast but had to drop out). He just really hams it up as the obnoxious blowhard and helps make him much more tolerable than his book counterpart, though he does unfortunately have the lack of plot relevance Lockhart did in the book, which is a problem unique to Lockhart. Fun fact, he is the ONLY Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher in the series to not ultimately matter in regards to the main story.

Of course, the greatest casting choice of them all is most certainly The late, great Alan Rickman as everyone’s favorite greasy potions professor, Severus Snape. I think Rickman goes a long way towards helping make Snape one of the greatest characters of all time, with everything about his performance just being perfect, and what makes it even better is how it would ultimately subvert his typical roles (though that’s a story for a different review). I don’t think either of the first films is really his best outing, butt he first one definitely sets him up splendidly. Snape barely has a role in the second film – something that greatly irritated Rickman during the movie’s production apparently – but he still does a good job with what limited screentime he has. Then we have Richard Harris as Dumbledore. Due to his untimely death, he only played Dumbledore in the first two films, but he really did give a wonderful performance that had all the charm, whimsy, and wonder the Dumbledore of the first few books was full of. The thing is, I don’t know if he would have been able to make the transition into the more serious and darker aspects of Dumbledore that popped up in the later books. I guess we’ll never know, which is truly a shame, but at the very least he gave us a good showing with what little time he had.

My only problems with the first two films are extremely minor, though there is at least one somewhat big issue I have. You see, while I do like everything about these films, I feel like they’re a bit too loyal to the books, not doing enough to distinguish themselves as their own thing like films such as Prisoner of Azkaban would do. But if I’m being honest, this is seriously nitpicky; it’s not like this really makes me think less of the films, because they have way more going for than against them. Stuff like this and the cornier early performances from the kid actors are to be expected when a franchise is still finding its legs. It really is more of a personal thing for me; I prefer when creators allow their own vision to affect an adaptation so that I can see how they perceive and interpret the work, but at the same time the first two Harry Potter books are all about setting up and the main plot doesn’t really kick off until the third and fourth books, so… I guess everything balances out?

It is a bit odd looking back at these first two films and noting how relatively self-contained they are compared to the denser films that were to come; you could much more easily jump into either one of these films and really get what’s going on compared to later movies, where you would almost definitely be lost if you tried to leap in without an inkling of the plot. But that is something I do like, since the first two films have really strong plots that focus more on the magical worldbuilding and developing the characters, setting up an incredibly strong foundation for the series to come. There are a few trims of the plot here and there, but it’s not nearly as major as some things that would end up cut later.

But, really, what’s there to cut? Like I said, these movies are more about the worldbuilding and setting up for later plotlines. They’re relatively simple stories here, and I think that’s kind of their big strengths, because it lets the characters and world shine through. The first film honestly is just Harry experiencing the wizarding world for the first time, with him going from scene to scene and just taking in all of the magical sights. Most of the big plot stuff really happens towards the end, when they make the journey down to the Philosopher’s Stone. The second movie is where things get a lot more plot-heavy, with the film focusing on the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets and all of the troubles that the basilisk within causes. Despite how grim the stories can get, especially the second one, these films never really lose that whimsical, adventurous tone, which is incredibly impressive all things considered.

It’s not really criticisms, but there are a few things that make me a bit sad didn’t happen in the first couple of films, or at the very least offer up some interesting “what could have been” scenarios. I think the most notable missed opportunity is the decision to axe Peeves, despite him being planned and having Rik Mayall film scenes with him only to have said scenes left on the cutting room floor, never to see the light of day; Mayall had some rather colorful words to say about the film after it came out. Sean Connery passing up on playing Dumbledore is another missed opportunity, but Connery has always been awful at picking roles and hates fantasy, so this isn’t shocking to me in the slightest. Terry Gilliam being straight-up told by Rowling she didn’t want him directing is another sad but necessary decision, as was Spielberg dropping out; neither guy would have been a very good fit for the franchise, honestly. Alan Cumming turning down the role of Lockhart because Grint and Watson were going to be paid more than him is a bit… lame, but also I don’t think he’d have been as good as Branagh in the role; as much as I love Cumming, Branagh has this grandiose stage actor hamminess that Lockhart desperately needs. There’s a lot of fascinating trivia facts I learned writing this review, and a lot of it paints some pretty weird pictures of how this franchise could have turned out in another world.

Chamber of Secrets and Sorcerer's Stone are both absolutely fantastic, whimsical fantasy movies, and I’d definitely recommend both of them to anyone who likes the fantasy genre. It’s a great jumping off point for younger people who may not be able to handle something as intense or heavy as, say, The Lord of the Rings making it a very useful gateway drug into fantasy, though it still manages to work perfectly as fun, engaging fantasy on its own. I’m personally more of a fan of the third and eighth movies but I can definitely hear arguments for either of these two being someone’s favorites or even the best in the franchise, because they invoke a lot of nostalgia and charm just thinking about them, good memories of seeing them with my family when I was a kid.

Some have come to view Chamber of Secrets less positively over the years, seeing it as an awkward transitional phase between the lighter, more whimsical adventures and the darker plot-driven ones, but honestly, Between the Columbus films, Chamber is definitely the superior one. It takes everything that was great about the first film and builds on it, and also gives us Lucius Malfoy, Dobby, Gilderoy Lockhart, and way better special effects and a more consistent narrative. The first film is still a classic, of course, but it’s almost episodic in nature and a lot more focused on showing Hogwarts to us than delivering a story. Still, it definitely has the plus of having way more Snape than the second film did, and there’s no arguments against that from me! Both films are very good at what they do, and both definitely deserve a watch.

#Michael in the Mainstream #Harry Potter #Christopher Columbus #fantasy #fantasy film #Daniel Radcliffe #Emma Watson #Rupert Grint #Alan Rickman

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j-j-ehlby-writes · 5 years

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Fate (c.e.) (1/6)

Chapter One- Coincidence

Pairing: Professor!Chris Evans x Student!OFC

Word count: 5.4k

Summary: fate (noun): the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. (verb): be destined to happen, turn out, or act in a particular way.

Amara is about to start her senior year of college with her newly single best friend, Elizabeth. She goes out one night and meets a handsome stranger, Chris. Sparks fly. Fast forward a week and she finds out Chris is her professor. What happens when she also meets Sebastian, a cute guy from another one of her classes?

Series masterlist

“Do you really have to go out tonight? I was hoping we could watch The Notebook and The Last Song again while shoving tons of junk food in our mouths while I bawl my eyes out at how my perfect love story couldn’t be like Ronnie’s and Will’s or Allie’s and Noah’s.” My poor, heartbroken best friend, Elizabeth complains while watching me straighten my hair.

“We’ve been binge-watching Nicholas Sparks movies for the past three days. I need to rejoin civilization, even if you’re not ready to.” I run the straightener down the last chunk of hair before shutting it off and setting it back down in my bathroom sink. I love her to death and I’ve been as supportive as I possibly can through this break-up, but there’s only so much Nicholas Sparks and junk food that a girl can take before she goes nuts.

“But, I’m shattered.” She whines, leaning against the doorway.

“I know, which is why I’m not forcing you to go out with me. You take as much time as you need to recover. Just remember, we start our senior year of college in a week.” I pat the top of her extremely messy bun and continued applying my liquid foundation.

She sulks, “You’re no fun,” before finally leaving me in peace.

I finish with my foundation before moving to my eyebrows. I fill them in with a deep brown eye shadow to shape my heart-shaped face. I apply a shimmer, cream colored eye shadow to my eyelids to make them pop. I use black eyeliner to draw on my top lid. Last, but not least, I added mascara on my top lashes. I spritz some body spray all over for the finishing touch. I double-check my appearance in the full-length mirror on the back of my door. With a nod of satisfaction, I’m finally ready to go.

“Damn, you look hot Rems. You could turn a gay man, straight.” Elizabeth bellows from the couch, covered in numerous blankets and pillows, already snacking on another pint of ice cream. I feel bad leaving her after her asshole of an ex broke up with her after four years together over text message. Oh, the ass-kicking I wanted to deliver to his doorstep… They started dating in high school, went through the long-distance thing while we went away for school and he stayed in our hometown, and beat the odds until recently when all they’ve been doing is fighting. As her best friend since ninth grade, after our common ex screwed her over, thus us becoming friends, I heard all about it. I was starting to think that maybe they weren’t meant for each other and so were they. It technically was a mutual break-up because they both agreed that their relationship wasn’t working anymore, but he instigated it. Therefore, it’s his fault my best friend has been wallowing in self-pity on the couch in our living room for the past seventy-two hours. You can see why I need a break.

I wink her way while slipping my cross-bodied purse over my shoulder. “That was the plan!” I lean over the back of the couch, placing a quick smooch on her cheek. “Call me if you need anything.” Her shaking her head is the last thing I saw before I shut the door. Freedom at last.

I descend the three flights of stairs to the underground garage where my car sits. I climb in and am on my way to my favorite little bar in town. It‘s a Wednesday night so I knew I could escape there without having to be bothered by too many people. I just needed a getaway. I pull into the parking lot moments later and walk in. The bartender knows me because Lizzie and I have worked here since we started school. I find my seat at the bar and my favorite drink is there waiting for me. I chug it down before slamming the glass back on the bar.

“Bad day?” Robert, the bartender and owner, asks already making another one. He’s owned this place for longer than I’ve been alive. He’s almost like a second dad to both Lizzie and me. Without the over-protectiveness and judgmental attitude. And he’s not like other people his age. He likes today’s music, but nothing pop or rap. If anybody blares that “nonsense” in his bar, they are out. He’s more of the rock and alternative type, which he plays in the bar a.k.a. one of the main reasons I come here.

“Bad week. Liz and Robbie broke up on Sunday.” That was all I needed to say for him to have my favorite food ordered. I look around the bar, not surprised to see only handful of people at the tables. Wednesday is a slow night, which is the way I like it. I can hear the music over the speakers better that way instead of everybody’s constant, loud chatter.

I decide to go easy on my second drink now that I got the first one out of the way. I don’t want to get hammered tonight. That isn’t the reason for this outing. I check my phone to see if Lizzie sent me anything only to find nothing, thankfully. I put it back in my purse just as my food is placed in front of me. Deep-fried green beans with ranch dressing and a bacon cheeseburger with pickles, ketchup, and crunchy peanut butter. The chef here calls it the Skippy burger for obvious reasons. It’s the most amazing burger I’ve ever tasted. I will never order anything else from here, ever.

Well after I had inhaled my food like the lady that I am, I continue to sit at the bar and listen to the music. I take out a small notebook from my purse and continue writing in a book I was writing. I also like coming here because it’s a great place to get my creative juices flowing. It’s basically what I would be doing at my own apartment, the music is just louder and there’s more people around. I was just pausing to think of what to write next, when someone speaks to me.

“Whatchya writin’?”

I look to see who that deep, baritone voice came from. To my right is probably the most beautiful man I had ever seen sitting a couple seats down from me. His golden brown hair is slicked back. His eyes are a light color, but he’s too far away to decipher exactly what color they were. He’s fair skinned and not a blemish in site. He’s smirking at me with beautiful full lips and straight white teeth. He has facial hair, which I normally find revolting, that was hiding an incredible jawline, only added to his sexy factor. And that’s only his face. He’s built. His torso is long and defined. He has broad, muscular shoulders that stretched his poor t-shirt he wore. His arms are thick, too. He could easily bench me more than enough times- and I’m not small by any means. His biceps make the sleeves of his white, short sleeve, V-neck stretch just enough to show how big they truly were. From what I could tell, he looks to be tall- one of his feet is resting easily on the floor while sitting at the bar stool. I can’t touch the floor if I tried. He’s just gorgeous. Plain and simple. And he’s talking to me.

“I’m sorry for prying. You were so intensely writing, I had to ask.” He sends me an apologetic smile which nearly knocked me off this stool. Dear Lord…

Do I be snarky and say mind your own damn business? Or do I tell him the truth about what I’m writing? He seems like a decent guy just from the few sentences he’s thrown my way. And he’s hot. Way too hot to be a bitch to.

“Just jotting down all of the ways I could kill every single person in the bar and make it look like an accident.” So, I decide to go the sarcastic route. At least I had hoped that I came across as cynical and not sound like a total lunatic that needs to be committed. According to the sweet sound of his laughter, I was successful.

“Oh yeah? What are some of those ways?” He inquires, angling his body more towards me preparing for my answer.

I fake a gasp, pressing my notebook to my chest, hiding the “contents” from any prying eyes. “A sociopath never reveals their methods.” His laughter continues, his hand is thrown over his heart, making my heart feel like it was soaring. Don’t ask me why.

“Is that your spin on ‘magicians never reveal their secrets’?” His eyes sparkle even in this horrible lighting. How is that even possible?

“Maybe,” I shrug. He’s right though. I guess that was my twisted take on that saying. I just thought it would work in this situation if I tweaked it to fit.

The beautiful stranger moves to the chair right next to mine. “I’m Chris.” He holds his rather large hand out towards me.

I place my hand in his. His fingers curl around my hand, dwarfing it. “Amara.” Amara Remington. Elizabeth calls me Remi and she’s the only one allowed to. I call her Lizzie and I’m the only one allowed to as well. It’s a great friendship we have going here.

“Well Amara, what’s a beautiful girl like you doing at a bar on a Wednesday night?” He takes another sip from his drink. Every move he makes is so fluid and natural… Is this guy even real?

“It’s the slowest night of the week. I like to come here for the food and to listen to the music.” If I was going to get anywhere with this guy, friend drama is not something to bring up right away. I most definitely want to see if this will go anywhere. Even if it’s just for a night.

“I could tell by the way you inhaled that burger. It must have been good.” He chuckles while I most certainly did not. Thank God for the poor lighting in here, I must have turned either beat red from embarrassment or stark white from mortification. That burger was so messy. I was licking my fingers right and left and wiping my face after every single bite. I must have looked like a pig! And he still called me beautiful?

“I can’t believe you saw that and are still wanting to talk to me.” I want the floor to turn into a black hole and swallow me up. How did I not see him before? I for sure would have noticed him when I sat down. I must have been so engrossed in my food that I was oblivious to my surroundings. Damn that delicious burger.

“It was endearing, actually,” He admits.

Is he nuts? Or just blind? “How could that have possibly been ‘endearing’?”

“I like a girl who isn’t afraid to make a mess while eating and who doesn’t care about counting calories and all that weird stuff that people do nowadays.” He shrugs like it was no big deal. “So, I was wondering if you weren’t too full from dinner, maybe we could go get some dessert? I saw this little bakery down the street that I’d like to try out.”

Was he asking me out? If so, jeez he’s forward. But hey, I’m not complaining. I know exactly which bakery he’s talking about and it’s phenomenal. That’s where Liz and I go for our comfort food during our time of the month. It’s remarkable. I could go for one of their fluffy cupcakes. I happily agreed, left some cash on the bar, and we walked out.

When we were walking down the sidewalk, my previous assumption about him was true. He’s taller than me. I have to look up at him in order to talk to him, making him at least 6’0”. I found out he’s from Boston. He just moved here to start a new job. He has two sisters and one brother. His favorite sport is football, he’s a diehard Patriots fan. He loves Disney as much as an adult as he did as a child. He was passionate about space and politics, going off on an elongated tangent on our current Commander-in-Chief. He even had to interrupt himself when he went on his rant. I didn’t mind watching him. One of my favorite things is watching someone talk about something they’re passionate about.

We finally made it to the bakery and each got a treat for each other that we wanted the other person to try. I had him get a triple chocolate brownie to be safe, and he had me get a piece of key lime pie since I had never had it before. We stroll down the block to the small park that was completely empty. We eat our desserts and just talk about random things. He'd ask me questions and vice versa. He’s so easy to talk to. I feel like I had known him for years instead of an hour.

After we're done eating, we decide to hit the swings. We have a contest to see who could get the highest the fastest. I welcome the challenge even if I knew I was going to lose. My shorter legs are at my disadvantage here. Establishing that he was the winner, he decides to be reckless and jump off when he got to the highest he could. He almost made the perfect landing, but he stumbled a little and wound up falling to the ground. I laugh so hard, I have to clutch my stomach at his silliness while I tried to slow myself down.

When I’m low enough to where I could get off safely, he’s walking towards me, looking determined. He doesn’t stop, even when I almost hit him. He calmly grabs the cold chains and keeps going until I’m well off the ground and our faces are impossibly close. It's the first time since I met him that I felt nervous. I tighten my grip on the chains and lock my ankles together underneath the seat. His eyes flicker to my lips for a split second before speaking.

He grunts, “One last question.” All I could do was nod, so he continues, “Do you believe in coincidences?”

I take a second to think about the concept of “coincidences.” I do believe everything happens for a reason. There was a reason why I decided to come out tonight instead of any other night. There was a reason why I came to this bar at the time I did and had the food I did because that caught his attention. And there’s a reason why I had the ideas I absolutely had to write down, which got him to talk to me. Same thing goes for him. Every decision we’ve made up until now has brought us here in this park, on this swing, in this position. So, do I think that it’s a coincidence that we were brought together tonight?

“Yes.”

In a second, his lips lock with mine. I respond quickly, hands pulling his face even closer as my legs wrap around his waist as his hands support my backside. As we deepen the kiss, he lays us down onto the rocks with me straddling him. Our lips move in sync as we both deepen the kiss. His lips are everything I thought they would be: soft and plump. His kisses are gentle, but full of passion. I feel how passionate he was all the way down to my toes. One thing I liked was he never pushed his tongue in my mouth. I hate when people automatically thrust their tongue in someone else’s mouth as soon as their lips make contact.

His hands wander up my back and tangle into my hair. Mine wander down to his pecks and around his shoulders, which are incredibly firm. I’ve never been so close with a guy this fast. But, despite everything inside telling me not to, it feels… right. Every fiber of my being tells me this is right, that I was supposed to be here in this moment with him, that I was meant to be with him…Which is why I need to stop this now.

I try to pull away, but every time I do, he would just bring his lips back to mine making me not want to leave. I knew I had to though before this went any further. I gently push on his chest so I can sit up, separating our lips. “Oh God, I need to leave now.” I get off of him and start to walk away.

“Where ya goin’?” He calls after me, sitting up on his elbows now.

“Home before we both do something we regret. I had a great time tonight. Hope your new job goes well!” I jog down the road, back to the bar to obtain my car.

I make my way home resisting the urge to let the butterflies in my stomach influence the smile that wants to form on my face. Lizzie is not going to believe the story I’m about to tell her… I’m not even sure I believe it. Did that really happen or did I imagine it? When I park my car in the underground ramp, I take out my notebook to see if I had written it, thinking it happened. But nothing I wrote tonight reflected the events that happened in real life. But how could one human being be so perfect? He was the easiest person to talk to, made me feel so at ease with him, and incredibly handsome. And the way he made me feel? It was indescribable. Butterflies in my stomach when he looked at me, palms sweating when he was close to me, the sparks I felt when he touched me… Chris. Such a simple name for the perfect guy.

I climb up the stairs back to the apartment. I close the door and lean against it, still in a trance. Now that I'm in the privacy of my own home, the cheek-hurting smile that was begging to come out makes its appearance.

“You’re back earlier than I expected.” Elizabeth was talking while she was in the kitchen, but when she comes into the living room, she gasps. “You totally met a guy!!” She shrieks after seeing my face. “Tell me everything! And I mean every detail. Don’t leave anything out!” She drags me to the couch, forcing me to sit down.

So, I do tell her everything. From the second I got to the bar, to coming home; from every thought I’ve had to everything I’ve felt. She squeals through the entire story, expressing her excitement for me. She then asks me when I was going to see him again.

Every thought I’ve had within the past couple hours is gone. I never got his number, where his new job is, or even his last name. There’s no way I can get into contact with him. I sigh falling over onto my best friend’s lap. “Never,” I groan.

“What do you mean?”

“I have no way to contact him or know where to find him. I never got his phone number or his last name.” I groan again wanting to crawl into a ball and mourn the loss of the love I will never have with this guy.

“There’s more ice cream in the freezer.”

“I’ll get a spoon.”

For the last week of freedom we had, we wallow in pity on the couch. The thoughts of Chris are always on my mind. His smile, his laugh, his kisses… Ugh why didn’t I at least get his number? I wonder if he feels the same way about it or if he’s completely forgotten all about me by now. That thought depressed me even more.

We watch every rom-com we can find and consume copious amounts of ice cream in this last week. So, when the first day of school comes, we reluctantly peel our butts off the couch to rejoin civilization. We shower and get ready in our rooms. I straighten my hair before putting half of it up into a bun, and do my make-up with eyeliner and mascara, and fill in my eyebrows. I brush my teeth and wait for Liz to be done so we can leave. Our classes start at the same time so we decided beforehand to ride together.

Once we got to campus, we agree to meet up for lunch at one after our first couple classes. I head to my first class, English 5116: Advanced Writing of Fiction. It’s one of my final classes for my major in English with a concentration on Creative Writing before I start my internship next semester. I heard from past students that it’s a hard class, but that was with the old professor. Said professor retired last year, so they had to hire a new one. There wasn’t any news of who the new professor is or his or her teaching style, so this should be interesting.

I find the lecture room with plenty of time to spare. This lecture room is like any other. It’s smaller than normal ones on campus; there are only five rows of ten seats to each row, all curved so it formed a semi-circle around the room. There’s a wooden podium off to the right side of the front and a huge projector screen just waiting for something to appear on the screen. I descend the stairs, and choose a seat close to the front. I found out during my freshman year that I learn better when I’m in the first couple rows. I take out the designated notebook for the class, write the date on the top line, and wait.

There’s still ten minutes ‘til the class starts so I also take out my story and see if I could continue where I left off. More and more people pile in as it gets closer to start time. There isn’t any sign of the professor yet. I hope that he or she is late. I think I have where I want my characters to go next and I don’t want to lose my train of thought.

But then everyone hears the bang of the door closing, startling everyone. “Alright, everyone. Welcome to Advanced Writing of Fiction. I am Mr. Evans, the professor for this course. You may call me Mr. E. or Evans. I will answer to either.” He trots down the stairs, handing stacks of papers to the first person in each row until he gets to the front of the room. My heart does that leaping thing just listening to him speak. What the hell is wrong with me? I look up to see why that happened. A gasp escapes and I think my heart stops completely.

Chris? The guy I met in the bar was standing at the front of my classroom. The guy I had an amazing make out session with is my professor. Oh boy…

He keeps talking about something I couldn’t tell you about because my mind went into shock. He looked so different in a tight, white button-up with a black tie, black slacks and shiny black dress shoes. His hair is done the exact same way it was in the bar. His facial hair looked shorter than it was before. But it was his eyes that looked the most different. In the bar, they looked vibrant and full of life. Now, they look flat and uninviting. I wanted to know why.

“I will not have a formal sign-in sheet,” an overwhelming relief falls over the entire room. “But, there will be a daily written submission due at the end of class every day.” Just like that, said relief was gone. I didn’t mind really. I love making short stories. “The submissions can be from something you’re currently working on, or something you make up on the fly. It doesn’t matter to me. But please, a five-page maximum. I do have a life outside this class.” Chuckles peppered the room.

“I am a little bit old fashioned, so you will have to physically turn it in to me. I will be copying them and handing them back to you at the beginning of each class. I will be keeping a profile of said copied excerpts until the end of the semester. I will meet with each of you three times this semester. First meeting will be to get to know you and your writing style. Second will be at mid-terms to check-up and see how your works have improved throughout the first half and see what there is left to improve on. And the last meeting will be a final assessment of how you have advanced in the writing of fiction.” His pun is cleverly placed and very funny. I wonder how many times he practiced that one at home.

“Now, there will be no formal tests.” Again, relief washed over the room. “The excerpts that you write are your tests to see if you are grasping the concept of what I am teaching you. If you need extra help, my office hours are on the syllabus. Feel free to make an appointment during those hours and I will happily help you with whatever you need.”

“He can help me with something else.” I hear a girl whisper suggestively in the row behind me. I roll my eyes. Does she really think he’s going to be anything more than her professor?

“Since today is the first day of class, how about we go around the room and introduce ourselves? Say your name, major, and what kinds of things you like to write about.” He pulls a chair out from behind the podium, placing it in the middle of the front, sitting on it backwards. He starts in the back row so I was safe until the end since I'm the first person in the front row. Everyone’s answers to what major they were and what kinds of things they liked to write about were all different. From aspiring authors to journalists and poems to novels; so many different combinations.

As it got closer to me, the more nervous I got. Would he recognize me? How will be react to seeing me again and realizing he made out with one of his students? Will he freak? No, probably not. He most likely wouldn’t want anyone to know what occurred between us. Would he request that I transfer out of this class because it’d be too weird? I don’t know what I would do if he did. I need this class to graduate this spring. I might have to beg and plead for him to let me stay if that’s the case.

When it got to me, I try not to look at him for fear of seeing his real reaction. But I had to know what it was. When our eyes lock, nothing happens. His expression never falters. No sign of recognition, fear, shock- nothing. That should be a good thing, right? I can stay in this class and not be weird… But then why does my heart hurt?

“I’m Amara. I’m an English major with a concentration on Creative Writing. And I mostly write novels.”

“What kind of novels?” He pries for more.

“Romance, mostly. Some fantasy. Just depends on my mood,” I shrug, “but they’re definitely all fiction.”

“Well I look forward to reading every one of your submissions.” He concludes, turning back to the rest of the class. “Now, with the rest of the time we have, which is about an hour, I want you to write whatever you want to write about. Your first day, the greatest party you’ve ever been to, the love of your life, anything you want. Just keep it clean, please. This will give me an idea of what I’m dealing with this semester.” He stands up from the chair. “When you’re done, you can leave.” He goes back behind the podium and just stands watch.

I look down at my notebook and nothing. Nothing came out. Zero ideas. Nada. Zilch. El zippo. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I guess I could jot down something from the story I have with me… But that’s personal. I don’t know if I want him to read something so personal to me. Not yet anyway.

I glance back up at him, only to find him staring back at me. I observe the classroom to see everyone writing furiously in their own notebooks. When I bring my eyes back to him, he's holding up a piece of paper. It reads: “Class after this?” I shake my head. He sets the paper back down, scribbling something else down. “Be the last one out” was the next thing he said.

Oh gosh, he does recognize me. And he wants me to stay after. My heart started racing just thinking of what he might want to say to me… I nod once before focusing back to my still blank paper. What could I possibly write about that will get my mind off what’s going to happen after class? I could write about how I felt when my childhood cat died. That’s still personal, but less personal than my novels. It was decided then.

An hour and three and a half pages later, I break out of my trance to see I was the last person still working. Chris is still behind the podium, watching me with what looked like amazement. “You okay?” He asks, breaking the silence. It was in that moment that I realized I had tears running down my face. I immediately run my hands over my face, trying to erase all the wetness on my cheeks and chin. It’s been four years since my cat died and I still get emotional about it when I talk or think about it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a sore subject.” I jot down my name at the top before tearing out the pages.

“You had a pretty intense look for the entire time you were writing again.” He smirks at me again. I pack up my stuff then bring my submission over to him. He continues, “You always have that look when you’re writing. I’ve never seen someone so engrossed in their work before.”

“You’ll see why when you read it.” I hand it to him reluctantly.

“You know, I knew it was you the second I saw you.” He blurts after a silent moment. “I was wondering if I was ever going to see you again, and now here you are.”

“Your student.”

“My... student.” He repeats slowly.

“What are we gonna do? I can drop out of your class, if it’d be too weird.”

“Why would it be weird? We’re both adults. We can be rational about it. It was before I knew you were my student. No harm, no foul.” He shrugs, brushing it off as if it were no big deal at all.

“So, we’re okay?” I ask confused by how calm and nonchalant he was about everything. Maybe he didn’t care about me, like I cared about him…

“Absolutely. I’ll see you on Wednesday.” He grabs the rest of the papers and started up the stairs. I follow when he disappeared from the room.

He can forget everything just like that? He has been on my mind every second of the day since that night. How could I feel so much for him and him feel nothing? He was like a completely different person from when I saw him last. The Chris I met was passionate, careless, and full of life whereas this one was cold and stoic. I guess being in his class will be easier than I originally thought…

I shake it off and went to find Lizzie. She is going to die when I tell her everything.

Chapter Two- Fortune

Permanent taglist: @elusive-beauty @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @naniky @drakesfiance @fantasy-is-my-reality

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poppyknitt · 5 years

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Just Like Before- A JSE Egos Fanfic; Jameson Jackson Birthday Special

Recap: Marvin has gone MIA since the last big fight against Anti, because Seán, Jackieboyman and Henrik cut off all further communications with him, and Chase, JJ, and Robbie are each caught up in their own problems. In lighter news, however, Chase is utilizing his time as a ghost to spend every last second he can with his kids, and figure out exactly what’s been happening between Stacy’s new, apparently abusive, boyfriend, and three of the most important people in his life. Jackie’s apparently been with his girlfriend much longer than we thought, and, celebrated his anniversary with her on a luxurious cruise ship, where he also proposed. Oh, and apparently, they’re expecting a son, so that’s pretty fun, I guess. Robbie’s been spending most of his time making sure his brothers are all doing well, which includes making sure the nurses at the hospital are taking the absolute best care of Chase and JJ as possible, keeping an eye on Henrik and confiscating any coffee he makes after 5PM, trying to find Marvin(he still thinks Marvin can be redeemed. but so do I, so I can’t really judge him on that one.), and constantly bugging Jackie about not using his powers while he’s still recovering from the first anti fight that happened in these stories whenever said hero is around. Oh. I forgot to mention! JJ’s out of his little coma! And he’s back in the egos’ house, too, so... Yay, it’s almost normal again! ... right..? Lmao, what am I saying? It probably is. At least, I hope. Haven’t heard from Anti for a while though...

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

[October 31st]

JJ sat on the balcony railing, staring blankly into the distance, his mind still depressedly numb after everything that had happened only a few weeks ago. He could no longer stand to be home without Seán or Henrik being in a place where they could come to help almost immediately if anything were to happen, and he hadn’t even put a single hair in the living room since he got back from the hospital only a few days ago. Seán was trying his hardest to help JJ move past the trauma that resulted from Marvin’s attack, and he was sure Robbie and Henrik would be, too, if it weren’t for the fact that Henrik is constantly busy with work from the hopsital, and Robbie is always running around trying to help hold everyone together in the wake of the chaos and pain caused by Marvin’s corrupt plan to defeat Anti “once and for all”, and “protect” the others in a more long-term way than the usual. Chase still refused to come back to his body, and whenever asked why, he would always respond with “Hard to explain. All you need to know is that Stacy and the kids need help, and only I can help them.”

JJ perked up, hearing the balcony door loudly sliding open, and turned to see Robbie standing there, a sad, almost sullen look on his face. It hurt a little to see the little guy stare at him like that, because he knew Robbie was only upset because he was worried about him.

“Good evening, Robbie...” He signed hesitantly.

“Jamie look sad again... Please don’t sad... Don’t want you to sad.. Is scary when you guys sad.” Robbie responded. JJ took mental note that Robbie was starting to care more and more about how broken his speech really was. And, yeah, sure, since the guy was sorta undead, and had a bit of brain decay as a result, he obviously wasn’t going to be totally perfect at speech, but that was okay, since it was a little comforting to have someone who spoke in an almost child-like kind of way try to cheer him up from time to time.

“I’m fine, Robbie. Just a little nervous still. I’ll be better in a while, I promise.” He fake-smiled, hoping it looked believable enough. Robbie’s face shifted a bit, looking a tiny bit more distrusting or hurt at this response. Jameson internally cringed, immediately knowing that Robbie could probably tell he had withheld a fair amount of information with his response.

“... Truth. I want whole truth. No lie.” Robbie said, his tone becoming a bit more stern.

“... I...” Jamie hesitated, because, I mean, if this pure little bean asked you to tell the truth about how badly a recent, extremely traumatic event had been affecting you, would you know how to respond? I think the hecklety specklety not!

“Jamie not need be scared. Promise not tell others Jamie secret if Jamie tell truth.” Robbie said, smiling a little, as if trying to let him know it was okay to trust him.

“... Fine. But, just... make sure to keep that promise, okay?” He signed, stopping mid-sentence to slide off the railing and onto the balcony. He sat down with his back leaning against the bars of the railing, and Robbie quickly shuffled over, sitting happily next to him.

“No one home but me an’ you. No need keep lookout.” Robbie assured him.

“... Okay, fine, I’ll start.” He signed, smiling softly in amusement, “... I guess the problem is that I can’t stop thinking about what happened... Why did he feel the need to lash out so cruelly on his two youngest brothers? Why lie? Why won’t he face his wrong-doings, and come back? I so desperately wish to believe that Marvin is innocent, and he only meant well, but... All Seán and Henrik ever say is to just forget about him, that he’s not ever coming back, and he’ll never be able to regret it? Why doesn’t anyone believe in him anymore..? Was... Were our bonds really that fragile..?”

“... Don’ kno’... Mavvy only thought he was protecting us. I think he still good. He just not very happy right now. Henry an’ Seán mean because they think he let badness get to head. But he still good. He come back. He just need alone time. We see soon!” Robbie speculated, not fully understanding the gravity of the situation.

“... I don’t know... He was... so violent, when he lashed out... I’m scared, Robbie... What if our dear, wonderful brother went too far, and is doomed to become something like... like him? I do not wish to loose our dear brother to the darkness, Robbie. I don’t understand why Seán and the others are so content with leaving him to fend off his inner demons on his own. It is surely too cruel a thing to do to someone who’s done so much good for us, right?” He continued.

“Is true. It mean, leaving Mavvy behind in dark world. They say fight happen in dark torture world, yes?” Robbie asked.

“Yeah...” He started, but cringed and shunk into a tight ball as he started having minor flashbacks to the moment Marvin had violently lashed out at them in their own home.

“Jamie! Calm! Calm! Is okay! No scare! No scare! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!” Robbie exclaimed, worriedly attempting to hug JJ.

“I-..I’m okay! I’m okay! Just got a little spooked, that’s all! It’s okay now, Robs. D-..Don’t freak out over my panic attacks..” He signed, his hands shaking a bit as he hesitantly tried to find the right words.

“We go celebrate hap birth tonight, Jamie?” Robbie asked, and JJ paused. Oh, yeah! It’s the 31st! He should be celebrating his birthday!

“Yeah! We’ll do it as soon as everyone’s here, okay, Robs?” The Jemmie-Jammie bean smiled, and Robbie beamed in response.

“‘K-kay.” Robbie gave his brother a big ol’ bear hug, and he hugged back this time.

~~~~

[October 31st]

Jameson happily sat at the dining room table with the rest of the egos(aside from Chase, who was still a ghost), enjoying himself as they all ate the cake that Seán had gotten him for his birthday. Jackie had returned from the cruise he’d taken his girlfriend on, but refused to tell anyone the details. Henrik was the only one not asking questions, so JJ had a feeling that Jackie had spoken to him about the details of the cruise beforehand, since that would be one of the only reasons the doctor would not be constantly pestering Jackie about it. He did, however, take note of the fact that Jackie had a ring on now, so he had a feeling something very special indeed had happened on that boat between the two.

“Hey, Jackie, what’s with the ring, anyways?” Seán piped up.

“That’s need-to-know information, too.” Jackie responded flatly, though, it was pretty easy to spot the cheekiness in his expression.

“Guys, leave him be. He obviously does not vant to share zhe details of his private vacation vizh us, so ve should be polite, and vait until he is ready to say anyzhing to us about it.” Henrik stated, his expression calm and sincere.

“Yes, let’s leave this topic for another day. I would much prefer we all just celebrate today for what it is supposed to be a celebration of, rather than spend it pestering our eldest about things that are not of our business.” Jamie signed, and Seán and Robbie briefly glanced at each other, and returned to the festivities.

“Oh! Jamie have birtda’ gift! Jamie open soon, yes?” Robbie exclaimed, suddenly remembering the small pile of gifts stacked on the coffee table, which had been carried into the dining room by Henrik and Seán, since Jameson still couldn’t bear to even look at the living room after Marvin’s outburst.

“Oh, yes! I nearly forgot about them. Yes, we’ll get to them soon, Robbie.” He signed, smiling happily. Robbie’s face lit up in childish joy, and he hugged the silent ego, grinning like a big, goofy idiot.

The rest of the day was spent filled with joy and cheer, as the egos slowly let themselves forget all their worries, and really enjoyed themselves for once. They each got into costumes when it came about time for trick-or-treaters to start showing up at the door, aside from Jackie, who pretended to be a really good cosplayer of himself, since he’d forgotten to buy a costume for this year, like he had for the previous one... and the first one.

Everything calmed down around 9pm, and they found themselves back in the dining room, sharing jokes, stories, and just overall having a fun time for what felt like ages. Thankfully, though, they all managed to fall asleep before midnight that night, so no one would be staying up to the ungodly hours of the morning.

Even though there were still some egos missing from the celebration that night, Jameson was sure it was safe to say that this had been one of the best birthday celebrations they had had in a long while.

——————————————————

Whoops! Super late birthday fic! Guess that’s what happens when I cram too much writing stuff into one month. Oh well! At least I’m done with it now! And we’re one step closer to my endgame, too, so that’s fun, I guess!

Next Chapter

@antis-loyal-puppet

@chaoticcrimsonrose

@tiny-septic-puppet

@rorald-spooks

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye egos #jameson jackson #robbie the zombie #henrik von schneeplestein #jacksepticegos #jse egos #sean mcloughlin #jj #dapper jack #robbie #henrik #doctor schneeplestein #jackieboyman #jackie #jbm #jackieboy man #fanfic #World Initiative

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darkpaladinchris · 6 years

Text

Of PMA and Pancakes, Ch. 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters. All rights belong to our lord and master Sean William “Jacksepticeye” McLoughlin.

Summary: Anti is used to having it easy. Outside of doing videos for Jack, he has no life. But when an accident happens while everyone is away, how will Anti react to having a huge responsibility shoved on his shoulders? Will he crack under the pressure? Or will he grow closer to one of the only beings in the universe he can bring himself to harm? Read to find out. This is my first fanfiction. Let me know what you think. No flames please.

Normal speech

Anti’s thoughts

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anti woke up this morning looking forward to the next couple of days and began going through his morning routine of push-ups, VR knife target practice, showering, and cleaning and checking his neck scar.

I’m glad this thing finally healed, but I’m almost going to miss it. With all the time I spent in Schneeps med lab and Marvin’s library trying to get it to heal the three of us really bonded, compared to when I first showed up and Sean accidentally stabbed Gerald the pumpkin in the head. Poor guy thought he was going crazy. Not to mention the others looked like they wanted to immediately murder me.

Leaving the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist, Anti went to his dresser pulling out an outfit for the day deciding on wearing his usual black pants with the first, and only, Christmas gift he had ever received which just so happened to be an Overwatch shirt with the character Reaper on it that was given to him by Sean. His outfit decided, Anti proceeded to get dress and set about making breakfast for himself, deciding on pancakes while also thinking on what to do with his time the next couple of days.

With Sean in L.A. and no filming for any of the egos planned, the boys had all decided to follow Sean’s lead and take some time for their own lives. Schneep had gone to attend a medical conference in Australia and wouldn’t be back until next week. Jackie and Marvin were in London for the weekend, touring the city, visiting Signe, and attending a showing of Wicked at the Royal Albert Hall and weren’t set to return home until Sunday. Jameson had gone to Ireland with a local animal organization to help at a fundraiser for the local dog shelter as well as oversee the opening of the second site of his new antique store and didn’t know when he would return.The whole process had thankfully been made easier by the fact that Marvin and Schneep had finally found a way to allow Jameson to physically speak.

Sean had obviously been on tour for a while and was currently finishing up his much needed vacation in L.A. The YouTube creator had become so overworked and mentally unstable in the weeks before the start of summer that even Anti himself was encouraging Sean to take some time to himself and to go visit Mark, Ethan, and the rest of his friends in L.A. if only to reduce everyone’s stress levels, especially Chase’s.

I keep telling Sean he needs to take better care of himself. Then again maybe pranking him with multiple nightmares of walking in on Jackie and Marvin defying gravity together was a little to much.

Having thought of Chase Anti’s thoughts turned toward the bro average star and all he had gone through over the past few months. The poor man had it almost as hard as Sean. Chase had gotten a call from Angus, Stacey’s new husband who also happened to be a survival trainer in the American armed forces. This was no surprise to anyone since when Angus had first called, he explained that even though it seemed Stacey wanted to keep Chase as far away from their kids as possible, Angus felt Chase had a right to know how they were doing and had started calling Chase around the start of first segment of Sean’s tour. Angus would call periodically since then to inform Chase of what they had been up too, sometimes even sending him pictures or videos of the kids which everyone could tell Angus had been careful to ensure Stacey wasn’t in any of them. It had even been on the second or third call that Chase had learned that a couple months after Angus met Stacey she had birthed a third child, a son named Trey. It didn’t take long for the men to put two and two together and figure out whose son Trey was. According to Angus, at 19 and attending college Trey was “exactly like his father”.

Sadly the most recent call two months ago hadn’t gone so well. According to Angus had called two nights before Sean left for L.A. and informed Chase with some bad news. Apparently one of the girls hadn’t been feeling so well and asked to go to the doctors. What Angus told Chase next was so shocking that he would have fallen down the stairs he was traversing had Sean not caught him. Chase later explained to everyone that Stacey had been diagnosed with leukemia. Thankfully they had caught it early on though and thus treatment had really good chances of succeeding according to the doctor. Sean had immediately made last minute arrangements for Chase to come and stay with him while in L.A. so that he could be close to his family whilst Stacey went through treatment.

Anti gave a small chuckle at this thought.

Even after all that she put him through, he still cares for her.

Since then Chase had checked in periodically with the others to inform them of what was going on. He told everyone that all the time he spent in L.A. finally forced him and Stacey to work out their problems with some help from Angus. Though things would never be what they once were between the two, they had both agreed upon staying good friends and keeping in contact with each other more mainly for the benefit of the kids. During this time, Angus had also taken Chase to the college in California where Trey was currently attending school over the summer to become a forensic scientist for law enforcement. Though a little unsure at first, Trey finally opened up to Chase after a couple of hours of them talking, eventually breaking down in his father’s embrace from emotional stress of worrying about Stacey’s condition and his sisters.

I swear Chase can make anyone break down in his arms crying. Heck, he’s even had me bawling into his shoulder a few times back when my neck was still freshly sliced, not to mention when Schneep and Robbie made me believe that I actually killed Sean when we filmed the Kill JSE video. Anti smirked a little at this thought while flipping a few of the pancakes as his thoughts returned to the recent developments Chase had told them all about.

Over the weeks Chase told everyone how he had spent more time with Trey, being the father to the boy he always wanted to be ever since he learned of the kid’s existence, and spending more time with his daughters. At the insistence of Stacey and Angus, after having told both father and step-father to do as much as they could to keep the kids from worrying about her, Chase took Trey and the girls to the beach for Fourth of July where Chase learned just how much like him Trey was. The boy was almost Chases equal when it came to being a daredevil, even showing his knack for surfing by doing multiple backflips on his board while riding a few waves. It was also that day that Stacey told Chase over video chat who one of their children’s role models was besides Chase himself. A few weekends later around the start of August, Stacey was given a clean bill of health to which the whole family went out to dinner to celebrate both that and Trey’s birthday. Unbeknownst to Stacey and the kids, Chase and Angus had made a call earlier that day, and when they got to the restaurant to the girls excitement and Trey’s bewilderment, they found waiting outside to meet them none other than Sean who Chase introduced as his friend and business partner. Later in the evening Sean, Angus, and Stacey surprised both Trey and Chase. Sean had apparently worked some magic and got the pair two VIP All Access Passes to PAX West in a couple of weeks. Chase’s latest call to Sean and the egos a couple days ago had him describing all of the fun Trey and him had at PAX. In addition to that Angus and Stacey joined in with Chase in telling Sean and the egos that at the end of the year Stacey and Angus were going to be moving to Brighton due to Stacey’s job. Due to Angus’s work with the armed forces, he would be allowed more leave to spend time with his family and take care of the kids, but would still be gone months at a time. As a result Angus and Stacey had both started working on getting part custody of the children back to Chase so that they could have some one they trust watching the kids while they were away. This would prove to be difficult however since not only had Stacey been on a rampage when she claimed full custody the first time and wanted to make it next to impossible for Chase to fight the court order, but they were all worried that Chase’s recent past as an alcoholic would complicate matters even more. When they mentioned this Anti merely snapped his fingers announcing, to everyone’s surprise, that any records of Chase that would complicate the matter had just been deleted from all global databases. Knowing the general scope of Anti’s powers, Sean and Chase told everyone to just drop the matter before either anyone could ask any questions.

I hope everything goes well with their case, Chase really deserves this win. Anti then poured himself a glass of orange juice, picked up his plate of pancakes that he had just doused with syrup and proceeded to the living room where a large 48 inch 4k plasma screen television, which somehow was a gift from a group of super fans at one of Sean’s recent shows, awaited him. Just as he was about to sit on the sofa, Anti paused for a second before setting his food on the table in front of the sofa and proceeding out of the living room down the hallway.

“Know what, I don’t feel like being alone today,” Anti spoke aloud to himself as he proceeded towards the elevator that led to Schneepelstein’s lab and medical bay where, unbeknownst to Anti, a certain someone was in need of a little company and PMA.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticegos #antisepticeye #sam septiceye #chase brody #jse community #marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #henrik von schneeplestein #jameson jackson #jse egos #jse fandom #jse fanfiction

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hunterpuff · 6 years

Text

The Call (Rob x Reader)

Pairing: Rob x Reader

Summary: Rob gets two calls one day and one of them has the potential to irreversibly change his life forever.

Warnings: Mentioned Car Accident. Very Angsty Cliffhanger

Word Count: 1230

Square Filled: Free Space

A/N: Written for @spnangstbingo This inspiration struck me out of nowhere. I know I am going to get asked about whether or not there will be a second part. The answer is NO. Part of what adds to the angst of this story is the cliffhanger and unresolved questions.

“So, what’s your schedule like for today?” You had Facetimed your husband as soon as you’d woken up this morning, hoping to catch him before he had to head out to fulfill his daily duties at this week’s convention. You knew the answer to the question before you even asked it, but you asked anyway. After watching countless marriages and relationships fall apart due to the people in them falling into a rut and stopping communication, including the marriage of your own parents, you had vowed to never allow your own marriage to go down that road. Even when you knew what he was going to say, you still asked because you wanted him to always know that you were invested in life and you cared.

“Babe, you already know what Fridays are like for me. Kick things off, panel, introduce everyone for their panels, karaoke tonight. Same as always.” You saw the way his blue eyes shined when he answered you, the little crinkle in the corners of his eyes when he smiled. Deep in your heart, you knew he appreciated the effort you put in to stay involved in his life even when you couldn’t be there with him. That’s why you did it. Especially now that you couldn’t travel with him as often as you used to. Talking to him, asking him about his day, it helped both of you feel like you were there and more involved than you actually could be. “What about you? What’s my stunning wife and our son up to today?”

“I have a doctor’s appointment today, my 26 week check up. They’re doing the test for gestational diabetes today.” You made a face as you thought about the test you’d be undergoing later in the day. This was your first pregnancy so you had thankfully never gone through one before, but you had heard horror stories from friends who had. The doctor had told you that while she strongly encouraged it, you weren’t required to get the test. However, Rob and you had struggled for years to get pregnant and now that you were finally carrying your first child you wanted to make sure that everything went smoothly and both of you were as healthy as could be. So far yours had been a textbook pregnancy and your goal was to continue that way. “Afterwards, my sister is going to take me out to lunch as a reward and then we’re going to get mani-pedis. I have to make sure I look my best when my husband comes home after a long weekend away.”

Rob chuckled softly and shook his head as he stared at you through the phone. You often joked that the little things you did to pamper yourself were really for him. The mani-pedis, the trips to the hair salon, the occasional retail therapy you indulged in. You’d tell him you did it to keep his interest and to make sure you were still as sexy as the day you met; that you wanted him to come home from work to a well groomed wife. Both of you knew that you were full of shit, that you did all of those things because you wanted to and because you enjoyed it. You just wanted to find a way to justify spending the money. Not that Rob ever cared either way. Not only did he not give a damn how you looked, he also didn’t care if you spent a little extra money here and there to make yourself feel better. Despite the fact that you didn’t work you tended to be incredibly frugal, and never treated him like your cash cow, so he was more than willing to foot the bill on the few occasions that you did decide to indulge. “You keep telling yourself that, Y/N. You know you could look wrinkled and frumpy when I walk through that door and I’d still love you just as much. But...since you’re already getting pampered, why don’t you go get a massage too? I’m sure you’re starting to get sore from toting around our little guy. Let your sister get one, too, and tell her it’s on me for taking you to your appointment since I couldn’t be there with you.”

Rob felt his heart skip a beat when he saw your eyes light up at his suggestion. He knew the changes in your body were starting to wear on you, but that you’d never ask for the extra indulgence on your own; which was why he had suggested it. You gave a little squeal of excitement an blew him a kiss through the phone.

“Thank you, baby. I appreciate it and I know my sister will, too. I’ll be sure to thank you properly as soon as you get home, Mr. Benedict.” You gave him a suggestive wink and laughed softly as you watched him turn pink. Even 10 years into your marriage you could still make the man blush, a fact that you held onto with pride. You were pretty sure it got worse when he was gone for the weekend and knew that he would be thinking about it for days without being able to do anything about it.

“You are impossible, Mrs. Benedict...which is exactly what I love so much about you.” You heard the sound of a door in the background and watched as your husband turned to look at whoever had just walked in. There was a low mumble of voices, though you couldn’t quite make out whose it was, before he turned back to you. His eyes weren’t shining quite as bright as he gave you a small frown. “I have to go, now, babe. Time to get to work. I’ll talk to you tonight, yeah?”

“You know it, baby. Have a good time today, go out and be the sexy man you are...just not too sexy. I don’t want to have to beat off any fan girls with a stick.”

“I’ll do my best. I’ll talk to you later, Y/N. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Robbie.”

____________________________

After hanging up with you, Rob had immediately gone to work. The day was packed full and he was busy all day, but he’d managed to sneak in a few texts to you anytime he had a few minutes of downtime. You’d sent him a quick text after your doctor’s appointment to let him know everything had gone well and that both you and your son were doing okay, but that was the last he’d heard from you. Knowing that you had a full day planned with your sister, he didn’t think anything of the radio silence, figuring that you were just having fun on your girl’s day out.

It wasn’t until later than night, when he was getting ready to go on stage for karaoke, did his phone make any kind of noise. He heard his phone vibrating and picked it up, thinking it was you, but instead was met with an unfamiliar number on his Caller ID. A sense of dread filled him as he answered the call. “Hello?”

“Hello? Is this a Mr. Robert Benedict?”

“This is he. Who is this?”

“Mr. Benedict, my name is Officer Best with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. I’m calling to inform you that there’s been an accident.”

Tags: @natasha-cole @casjohnson

#spnangstbingo #rob x reader #rob benedict x reader #reader insert

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cryptidofthekeys · 6 years

Text

Naga!Robbie x Tiny!Reader

Robbie was slithering his way through the forest, humming softly to himself, he was humming a tune that he had heard random passerby's sing recently.

((aka-- well really I'll leave it up to you, whatever Christmas tune you'd want him to hum I guess haha))

Robbie continued to slither along but he stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed a small figure in the middle of the path, his eyes held concern as he quickly slithered over to the figure.

You gasped and your eyes widened when you noticed what appeared to be a snake slithering closer, you squeezed your eyes shut and prepared for the worst. ... but, to your surprise nothing happened...

Robbie blinked and looked down at you, you were the smallest human he had ever encountered, now sure he usually would run if it involved humans but this one... They seemed so small, and helpless in a way.

You slowly opened your eyes and what you saw shocked you, it looked... well the upper half looked like a zombie more than a human, but the lower half of him was a snake's body with marks and cuts all over it.

You flinched when you heard a gurgle from the creature, you expected it to just snatch you up immediately, you looked up into his pale-grey eyes and you saw what you thought was concern.

"Sooo... smaaalll..."

He slurred out rather slowly

"Aree youu.... okaay?"

He asked, tilting his head almost like a curious puppy.

You didn't speak, your eyes darted around for a moment before you got up and dashed away, or well tried to, before you knew it you felt a tail coil around you but not tightly however and it was very gentle as it seized you.

You yelped and began to scream softly which seemed to startle the giant creature, he quickly leaned down and gurgled softly, reaching his hand out to gently scoop you up

"Heeyy... itt... okaayy... Robbieee won'ttt.... hurrt..."

He tried to reassure you, he even pet your head in a soft manner.

You flinched again but blinked when he began to pet your head, he was being so soft, so gentle.... but why...?

"Y-Your.... not....going t-to eat me are you?"

Robbie grunted, as if he were offended in some way and shook his head

"Robbieee... Don't eeeattt frriendddss..."

He spoke softly, a smile appearing on his face, he doesn't even know your name nor anything about you and he already considers you a friend.

You were slowly calming down, he was being so gentle, so nice, and he hasn't even TRIED to do anything bad yet... Maybe it was wrong to judge him based on his looks

"...Y....You... What are you exactly?..."

Robbie looked at himself and wiggled his tail a little

"...Zombieee naaggaa?..."

Well, that's.... really the only thing he knew to call it, it was true after all.

((coulda made him say zombie snek boi))

You blinked, so your thoughts were correct, he was indeed a zombie... snake-like creature, a zombie naga... But, what was weird about him was the fact he seemed conscious, like he knew what he was doing, weren't zombies normally mindless flesh-eaters?

...You decided not to even ask that question in fear it may offend or trigger something within the zombie, you were about to speak but noticed his ears perking up and noticed his glances around.

"Robbiee... hearrss thaat musicc againnn..."

He grumbled, however his eyes widened when he saw two figures approaching in the distance, he figured it would be best to hide since Henrik had always told him to be weary of humans, he slithered behind a bush and out of sight.

You didn't even have a chance to protest or at least tell him to put you down, not that he would anyways, you watched as he put a finger to his lips which signalled for you to be quiet, you both watched the humans pass by, they were talking about something called 'Christmas'.

After they left, Robbie sighed in relief but he had a confused look on his face

"Tinyy frriendd.... Whattt iss... ''Chrismaaas''?..."

He looked absolutely intrigued, he didn't really know what this 'Christmas' thing was at all.

You looked at him, you weren't really afraid at this point, your fear subsided a bit ago

"Well... My name is (Y/N) first of all and second of all... Christmas is a time well.... Its where you can get gifts, but its supposed to be more about gift-giving... Giving is better than getting as most would say."

You paused, letting him take that part in before continuing.

After awhile of explaining Christmas in the best way you could, Robbie seemed to understand his eyes were full of wonder

"Chrissmaaas sounddss.... niicee... We've neverr haadd itt beforree..."

You looked at him curiously

"We?..."

He opened his mouth as if he were about to speak but quickly jumped when he heard a familiar voice, he quickly wrapped you up in his tail and hid you behind his back.

"Ah! Zhere you ah're Robbie!"

One with a (really amazing) really bad German accent spoke out

"Told ya he hadn't gotten far bro!"

Another one spoke, you regretted asking now about the whole 'we' part.

The one that looked like a doctor had slithered over, he rose a brow

"Robbie... Vhat do you have?"

Those words almost made your heart stop, you tried to keep still and hidden.

The zombie naga began fidgeting and looking around nervously

"Robbieee... haass... n-neww frrriend...."

He started, lying wouldn't get him out of this situation and he knew it very well, he leaned behind and gently scooped you up.

"Meettt (Y/N)... Theeyyy frrienddlyy.... anndd nicee"

He said in a rather quick tone, he knew how Henrik got sometimes over humans, so he was worried actually.

You looked up at the one who looked like a doctor and noticed he was glowering at you, this made you nervous and honestly a little frightened

"U-Uhm.... H...Hi there...?"

You waved slightly.

((doctor naga boi is a wee bit overprotective oops))

It took the doctor a few moments before finally saying something

"Guten Tag..."

He had mumbled it rather quietly but the one with a snapback hat on quickly intervened

"Don't worry about him lil duder! He just gets really overprotective"

The one with a hat seemed cheerful enough

"By the way, the name's Chase and this is Schneeplestein but, just call him Henrik though"

Chase greeted for the both of them, it seemed like Henrik wasn't much of a talker right now anyways.

((*That moment when you spell Schneeple's name wrong 15 different times*))

You nodded and fidgeted with your fingers

"I'm... (Y/N)... Nice to meet you both..."

You could feel the tension right now, you couldn't blame Henrik though... Most humans don't do well around snakes, so they could have been attacked before.

Chase looked down at you curiously and scooped you up

"Woah... How'd ya get so tiny? I've never seen a human this small!"

However before you could even comment, you heard a growl and felt yourself get snatched back.

Robbie had lunged at Chase and hissed as a warning, he was holding onto you carefully, great... Was Robbie overprotective too?

"Woah bro, chill! I forgot, you do love small creatures..."

Chase rubbed the back of his head

"Your getting almost as bad as Henrik with the whole 'overprotective' thing."

He grinned in a cheeky manner, it figures as much, Robbie is of course, overprotective as well.

((Chase you have no right to talk, you'd be overprotective of the smol too, like a really overprotective parent, hell you could probably out-do both Henrik n Robbie even if they were combined))

Henrik gave Chase a death glare

"Chase, I vwould advize you to shut up, unless of courze you vwant to be a test subject fo' my latest experiment~"

He watched as Chase's cheerful expression turned into one of horror.

"You.... Your joking right?"

He looked at Henrik who wore a very serious expression

"Do I look like ze type to joke?"

Those words were enough to make Chase hiss and slither away in terror.

Henrik chuckled and turned back to Robbie who was staring at him

"Youuu didn't meean thatt...rrright?"

He should know by now since Henrik had usually done something like that just to get Chase to quit pestering him, but he still wanted to be sure.

"Yes Robbie, I vwas kidding, I vwould never do zat to Chase."

Henrik seemed a little calmer now, but that didn't stop him from giving you a distrustful look every once in awhile

"Come avlong Robbie, you can... bring your little friend if you really vwant to"

He sounded reluctant but he knew how persistent Robbie was as well.

Robbie gurgled in happiness and looked down at you with a happy smile, he then realized

"Youu....dooo wanna come wwwith uss rrright?..."

He sounded worried, most likely worried you wouldn't want to.

You fidgeted slightly and looked up at Henrik who simply shrugged, you then looked back to Robbie who had a hopeful look in his eyes

"Alright... I guess it wouldn't hurt... If your friends... really don't mind that is"

Robbie's gurgles got louder and a lopsided smile appeared on his face, he leaned down and nuzzled you happily, you smiled a little when Robbie nuzzled you, you looked over to Henrik who seemed to still be a little....worried, his expression seemed like it was mixing.

"I don't mind, but, try anyzing und it vwill not end vwell fo' you..."

He hissed in a threatening manner, which you immediately nodded and understood, he then began slithering back to most likely they're home, Robbie followed, making sure to hold you carefully.

...............................................

After awhile you found yourself in what appeared to be a cave, it was rather tidy for... well a cave, you blinked slowly

"This is.... where you live...?"

"Vwell, zhere's not many optionz fo' nagas, vwe're still scary snakes to ze humans, so vwe vwon't get any 'special treatment' or anyzing like zat"

Henrik explained, rather bitterly, you couldn't help but feel bad.

They didn't seem to like the cave very much honestly, you could see they were making do with well, what they could...

"It's not very warm in here... Much less suitable for living..."

You blurted out but then quickly shook your head

"I-- I'm sorry, that just came out...."

Henrik shrugged

"Vwell, zat iz ze truth so no need to be sorry."

Then Chase nodded

"Yeah, its not the best but hey, we've made it this far... Thankfully."

Finally, Robbie gurgled a little

"Caavee iss crrampedd andd noot mucch food arround..."

He added rather sadly, well it was the truth, one couldn't argue with that last statement.

You sighed, you couldn't believe you were about to suggest this but, they did seem like they needed a place to stay, even if Henrik could be... a little bit intimidating

"...Would you... like someplace new to stay? Like... An actual house?"

All three nagas turned to face you, their expressions held one of shock and yet... hope? Was that the right word? Henrik was of course the one to speak out

"You... vwould really trust us zis quickly? Enough to let us into your home? If zat iz truly vwhat you vwere offering..."

You nodded and smiled a little

"Well... You haven't exactly attacked me, Robbie's been really nice, Chase has been energetic and you... Despite being cautious and overprotective, your nice too. I can see why you wouldn't just trust even a tiny human like myself, you look out for these guys which is really respectable of you..."

Henrik looked taken aback for a second, he looked towards Chase who shrugged

"It's up to you doc, I mean this is a chance we could finally have a proper place to live."

He then turned back to Robbie who was making small gurgling noises

"Cann wee staay wiithh (Y/NNN) pleease...?"

Henrik thought for a few moments before nodding

"Alvright... Vwe'll stay vwith you ...Zhank you (Y/N)"

He actually smiled at you, slithering off to grab a few things, most likely treasured items, Chase did the same, and even Robbie grabbed a few things, after that you all headed out, you of course had to lead the way...

........................................................

After a bit, you finally made it to your house, it seemed so much bigger than before since you were tiny, good thing it wasn't near any other houses honestly, you were rather secluded in the woods.

Henrik rose a brow

"Zis is your house? Isn't it a bit... big fo' someone your size?"

He questioned, meanwhile Robbie and Chase were amazed at how cozy it looked, even from the outside.

"Yep, this is my place and... I wasn't ALWAYS tiny... I don't even remember what happened exactly, I was taking a daily stroll through the woods and then suddenly I just woke up to being tiny..."

You explained carefully.

Henrik nodded

"Hmm.. Zat iz... razher strange, I vwonder vhat could have caused such a zing to happen"

He looked as if he were in thought now, once Henrik goes into thinking mode there's not much to snap him out of it.

You shrugged and looked over at Chase

"Hey, you think you could um... get the key? It's under the doormat, and I'm kinda... Well you know"

This made Chase glance over at you

"Oh yeah, sure thing lil duder!"

He then reached down, grabbing the key and unlocking the door.

You thanked him and looked inside, taking a deep breath, it was honestly nice to be back home, you noticed the three staring inside, oh yeah you had decorated for Christmas... They must be staring at the lights and all.

Robbie looked absolutely amazed as he slithered on inside, the others following behind

"Soo... prrretty... soo... colorrfull..."

He gurgled out happily, taking in all the decorations and the lights seemed to fascinate him the most.

Chase and Henrik seemed to know what the decorating was for... How? Well, that was a mystery... Maybe they had just heard stuff about it, who knows?

"Vwow... Zis looks very amazing..."

Henrik remarked, taking a look around and getting familiar with his new surroundings, meanwhile Chase looked amazed

"Nice place ya got here (Y/N)! It looks so cozy and comfortable, and with the decorations it reminds me of Christmas with the kids!"

...He had kids? Well that was something new, as the saying goes you learn something new everyday.

"Thank you... And it took awhile to get these decorations up but its always worth it, feel free to help yourselves to the food in the kitchen."

Robbie set you down on the table and rushed off into the kitchen, along with Chase while Henrik called out in a scolding tone

"Now don't eat everyzing! Remember, zhis iz still (Y/N)'s house!"

He sighed

"Zhey're just like children sometimez I svwear..."

You giggled a little

"Aren't you hungry as well? If you want you can go ahead and eat... I was kind of hoping you'd help me in the kitchen anyways, if you don't mind... Do you know how to make hot chocolate?"

Henrik nodded

"Vhy, yes, yes I do"

He seemed gleeful for once, maybe he liked hot chocolate

"I never really had ze chance to make it since... Vwell you know"

You nodded in understanding.

"Well, let's go make some hot chocolate!"

You exclaimed happily, watching as Henrik slithered over, however when he picked you up his grip was rather... tight.

"H-Henrik... too tight..."

You wheezed and he immediately corrected his mistake and apologized a few times, you said it was alright but he still looked over you just incase, finally you both went and started making hot chocolate.

After a good bit of talking and getting to know each other, the hot chocolate was finally done, Henrik grabbed some cups and poured the hot chocolate in, Chase had grabbed two marshmallows and tossed them, surprisingly they landed in the cup which resulted in a loud cheer from him.

You winced slightly at the loud yelling but climbed up to your cup of hot chocolate, luckily Henrik had put a little straw for you, that was really considerate of him, you slowly took a sip and smiled happily.

Chase wasn't satisfied with his, he grabbed what appeared to be whipped cream, beginning to spray his hot chocolate, after he got halfway Henrik interjected

"Chase, I vwouldn't add zat much vwhipped cream... You vwill regret it."

Chase simply rolled his eyes and sprayed all of the whipped cream onto his drink and then began devouring it, he would definitely regret that later...

Robbie drunk his plain and simple, no whipped cream, no marshmallows just normal hot chocolate

"Mmmm..."

He seemed to love the taste of it a lot, his eyes were focused on the cup.

He did glance over at you a few times and smile happily, the zombie naga seemed to be growing attached to you, he slithered his way over when he saw Henrik walk over to Chase, probably to scold him for using all the whipped cream.

"Hoott... chocooo iss... gggood."

He gurgled happily, taking a few more slow sips, finally his was gone.

You had finished drinking yours, well, you drank as much as you could

"Aahh...~ That hit the spot"

You looked over at Robbie and smiled, you watched as he set the cup down and gently lifted you up, nuzzling you close.

"(Y/NNN)... Soo cuutee...."

He was smiling happily, sure it still looked lopsided and a little creepy but nonetheless you were beginning to grow fond of him, even the others you were getting used to.

((I just now realized this deep in I could've made it sad when Chase was talkin bout his kids n the whole Christmas thing ....nAAh-- Stacy doesn't exist to me, she's dead to me-- Chase just has his kids and that's what matter mhm yep yep yep-- ok I'll stop interrupting))

You looked over and watched as Henrik was scolding Chase for using all the whipped cream, meanwhile Chase looked as if he were struggling to retort back, you looked back at Robbie

"Do they always do that?"

Robbie looked down at you and blinked in confusion, he then seemed to realize what you meant

"Ohhh, yeeaah... Hennn carres a loot abbout Chessss.... He scoldds himm forr stuff like thaat..."

He then whispers to you

"I thhink Henn likess Chesss... Likess him a lott."

Robbie must not have spoken quiet enough, both the others turned directly towards you and Robbie

"Uhh-Ohhh...."

He gurgled as he saw the pair approach.

"Robbie, vhy vwould you tell (Y/N) zat? Not zat its true or anyzing...."

Henrik spoke really fast and defensively, as did Chase and after a few moments Robbie began whimpering, the two were talking really fast and seemed to be overwhelming the poor zombie naga...

You furrowed your brows and stood straight

"HEY! Calm down you two, your overwhelming him!"

You called out to the pair who immediately stopped and realized you were right, the poor thing looked close to tears.

"R-RRRobbiee sorryyyy..."

He whimpered out, looking away from the pair

"Didn't meeaann...."

He couldn't finish his sentence hardly, his lower lip was trembling, he couldn't handle the both scolding him in such a way.

The pair quickly began apologizing, being careful not to speak too fast and talk too loud

"Robbie vwe're sorry, vwe forgot zat stuff overvwhelms you."

Henrik spoke slowly and carefully

"Yeah dude, sorry, we won't do it again"

The two gently pulled Robbie into a hug.

Robbie couldn't really hug back since he had you in hand, but he was calming down now, especially when you started comforting him and hugging his finger

"Okaay... RRRobiee okaayy nowww..."

The two pulled away and sighed in relief, they never mean to upset Robbie, then again sometimes it couldn't be helped the poor guy was rather sensitive after all.

The others slithered back into the living room, as did Robbie although he was slithering closer to the tree as if he wanted a better look at it, you then realized what you had hung near

"U-Um Robbie watch where your--"

It was too late, he slithered right under the mistletoe.

The others were now chuckling, this was not a good sign, of course Chase was the one to speak up

"Awww~! You two gotta kiss now, mistletoe rules bro~!"

He chuckled, and teased slightly, oh you were going to get him back for that...

Robbie grumbled and blushed, he looked embarrassed already

"Onnlyyy.... cheeekk..."

He gurgled out, which made you sigh in relief.

You watched as he leaned down and kissed your cheek gently, his blush still getting worser nonetheless, he then leaned back slightly, it was your turn now... You carefully leaned forward and gave his cheek a quick peck before shying away, your face was horribly red.

Chase and Henrik clapped, still chuckling a little, they didn't seem to mind the fact you kissed each other's cheek, but still... Now's the time for your ''revenge'' you quickly whisper to Robbie on what you want to be done which he gurgles and nods at.

Robbie then walks over to Chase and Henrik, he set you down on the table and then pushed the others towards the mistletoe, this made them both yelp and shake they're heads.

"H-Hey! No fair b-bro!"

Chase pouted, it was his turn to blush now, Henrik's face was slightly red

"Zat iz bullshit, you cannot push us under ze mistletoe! Zat doez not count"

You giggled and shrugged

"Sorry guys, but uh, 'mistletoe rules b r o'~"

You smirked devilishly at Chase who frowned at you, Robbie was simply gurgling and smiling

"Youuu....kiisss.... noowww"

Chase sighed and took his hat off, running his fingers through his hair

"C'mon dudes.... Show some mercy..."

He mumbled, then placed his hat back on.

"Fine, let's just get this over with... We can do a cheek kiss too"

Henrik was blushing furiously but he smirked nonetheless

"Vwell... Vhat if I don't vwant to?"

This made Chase stare at the doctor as if the man had lost his mind

"Y....Your joking.... ...You gotta be joking this time doc"

He laughed nervously, but something told him the doctor wasn't joking.

"Vhat did I say earlier Chase? Do I look like ze type to joke avround?"

Henrik chuckled and leaned towards Chase

"C'mon do you not vwant to?"

He asked in a serious tone, he would respect the other's boundaries if he didn't want to but part of Henrik hoped Chase would be okay with this...

Chase fumbled around for a moment, he sighed and took off his hat

"....I....I do want to.... I don't mind honestly..."

He said a little bit quietly, he leaned forwards and made direct eye contact with Henrik, the both of them had honestly waited for the right moment to even kiss.

Finally, they found they're lips touching together, before they knew it they're arms were wrapped around each other, the kiss was passionate and careful, as if the two were watching and making sure they didn't step across the other's boundaries.

Soon they pulled back, smiling happily at each other, they're faces were bright red as they intertwined they're hands together

"I do care about'cha doc... I care a lot about'cha."

Henrik continued to smile

"I care fo' you as vwell Chase... I alvways have... You mean ze vworld to me."

He ruffled Chase's hair playfully who began chuckling and swatting at the doctor's hands

"Hey hey hey, cut it out doc, your gonna mess up my glorious hair"

Henrik rolled his eyes and took the hat, gently putting it on Chase's head then pulling it down over his eyes in a playful manner.

((I do ship me some Henrik n Chase but in a platonic manner, I could picture them as-- like-- just, not really sexually involved with each other like they'd never go THAT far, but kissing, cuddles, etc. That's all good, they platonic bois))

Henrik and Chase were still holding hands as they slithered back into the kitchen together, this gave you and Robbie some alone time, you turned to face Robbie when you noticed he was actually staring down at you.

"What's up big guy?"

You questioned which made Robbie gurgle and jump in surprise, as if he were previously in thought

"Ohhh wasss I starrringgg? Sorryy... RRRobbieee was just thinkkingg..."

You rose a brow

"Thinking? About what?"

You noticed his small smile and his peaceful expression

"Abboutt howw niicee youu've beeenn.... Chesss... Heennn... Theey.... soo haappyy... Anddd... Youuu madddee mee happy too (Y/NNN)... I loovee youu"

Its as if he blurted out the last part, he blushed some more.

You smiled and giggled at him

"Aww, Robbie, I love you too... You've been kind and gentle... And just so nice... I don't know why people would be afraid of your kind... Your all very nice and polite... You can all stay here for as long as you want, I promise..."

Robbie gurgled happily and cuddled you close

"Thhaannk youuu... (Y/NNN) ssoo niccee... soo cuttee... RRobbieee lovvess..."

He began trailing off as he yawned and laid down, letting his tail take ahold of you, being careful as he coiled around around you.

You chuckled softly, nuzzling and getting comfort in his coils

"Go ahead and sleep big guy... You need it, and to be honest... I'm sleepy myself"

You mumbled, finally getting into that perfect position and closing your eyes.

Robbie smiled gently and closed his eyes as well

"Sleeep...goodd (Y/NNN)... Don't forrget... RRobbiee lovvess yoouu..."

You mumbled

"I won't ever forget... love you too Robbie..."

Finally, the both of you drifted off to sleep, not even caring that it was on the middle of the floor, you were both warm and cozy by the fireplace and dreaming peacefully.

((*DEMONIC SHRIEKING* JFC THIS STORY TOOK FOREVER GAH, I'm so sorry! And sorry for it being so long as well I wanted to fit some stuff in there aka the hot chocolate and the mistletoe, ah I'm happy with how it turned out albeit long-- it was as good as I could get it, I......I've never written with nagas, I hope I did nothing wrong with that ^^' anyways I'll spare you from my rambles!))

@chase-brody-protection-squad and @robthezombie-support-squad

here y’all go and again, sorry this took so long!

#robbie the zombie #chase brody #dr schneeplestein #henrik von schneeplestein #reader insert #jse community #g/t community #g/t writing #g/t fluff #schneeplebro #is that they're ship name? Schneeplebro? meh it doesnt sound right too me but that's my opinion haha #My Story

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furederiko · 7 years

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9 MARVEL CHARACTERS I WANT TO SEE IN THE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

Just spitballing for fun here!

To celebrate September 9th, here are 9 Marvel Heroes I would like to see making their debut in the next phase of Marvel Cinematic Universe. By MCU, that means for the movies... NOT for TV. I'm not saying because the TV side is... bad (even if I do lean towards that conclusion, it would be a subjective opinion), but I just don't think TV would be able to do justice with these characters due to various constraints (budget, VFX quality, etc).

It's already widely reported that the 2019 "UNTITLED Avengers" will serve as the culmination of MCU since 2008. That means, the door to welcome new characters and IPs would be wide open. So these are the names I would like to see getting the spotlight, and perhaps, assemble into a new set of Avengers. One might easily notice that the names I'm including here are characters from the animated "Avengers Assemble" series. That's actually... INTENTIONAL. One, because that means Marvel Studios obviously has the rights to use them (or at least partially, like the Spider-Man characters). And two, because I want this post to have a similar look and feel. But I'm NOT leaving behind other characters who have yet to show up in that series. That's why there's a special 'Bonus' section afterwards... (^^)v

Now that the explanation is out of the way, let's start right away! Here they are, in alphabetical order:

Agent Venom

Coincidentally, the first one is already a tricky situation. Eugene "Flash" Thompson is a Spider-Man character, so the rights to him is owned by SONY. That company is already working on a "Venom" movie that might not (or might?) be part of the MCU, with Tom Hardy as the lead. On the other hand, a modern-bully version of Flash has already debuted in the MCU via this year's "Spider-Man: Homecoming", as brought to life by Tony Revolori. Of course, the prospect of seeing a talented actor like Revolori becoming a headlining hero, is just too good to ignore. Mind you, it might take him a very long time (until after the high school characters graduate?) before arriving in a possible bittersweet situation (in the comics, Flash had to lose his legs first). But overall, Marvel Studios has already sown the seed for Agent Venom's debut. I can only hope this idea will be realized somewhere in the future...

Hercules

Odd choice, huh? But hear me out. We haven't had a great Hercules movie for a long time (my favorite was still Disney's animated-musical version, and it differed massively from the mythology). So why not leave it to Marvel Studios to do justice for the figure, and make a HUGE name out of him? The comic version of Hercules Panhellenios is a struggling, washed-out, unemployed hero, who spends his time slacking around and being a disappointment to others. True to his metaphorical title as a fierce male lion, huh? This situation and condition would carry massive potentials to explore in the movies. He can also take over Thor Odinson's position to expand the MCU towards more Greek-based mythological stories. Would you like to see Herc fighting Cerberus or Hydra (the monster, not the NAZI organization) in live action? I sure do. Good ol' Herc has seen a return to spotlight recently, with his own solo comic series. So what an excellent time to promote him for his own movie too! Since Chris Hemsworth and Pratt are already in the MCU (IMO, both are giving off a strong Hercules vibe!), perhaps Marvel Studios can hire... I don't know, Joe Manganiello as the lead actor?

Hyperion

Another mythological-esque hero! Unlike Hercules though, Marcus Milton has a completely different origin, being descendant of... the Eternals. Yes, the "Guardians of the Galaxy" movie series have already introduced this powerful race, which means, the route to Hyperion's debut is more or less smooth sailing. Interestingly, Hyperion is well known as part of the superhero team "Squadron Supreme". That means, if ever Marvel Studios needs a 'replacement' for the Avengers, this group is a good candidate. Just like Herc, Hyperion has returned to the limelight with a new comic series lately, eventhough it was cancelled after a few volumes. I admit, being a copy/parody of a certain DC hero, the character doesn't really have deep potentials. But that's why I trust Marvel Studios to give him the push he needed! As for the actor, for some reason, I would love to see John Krasinski in the role. Dude was considered to be Captain America before, right? And he's not another Chris. LOL.

Inferno

We're back to another tricky business. Dante Pertuz is a relatively new character, a modern version of Human Torch that FOX doesn't own. LOL. He's introduced in the recent years with the NuHumans storyline, which exactly leads to THE tricky situation. Yes, he's an Inhuman, and his origin story is deeply connected to the Inhumans Royal Family (specifically Gorgon). We all know that Marvel TV had taken over the Inhumans IP and turn it into a TV series (complete with bad writing, bad design, bad reviews *smh*). I'm VERY concerned the division would also want to capitalize on Inferno to boost the show's appeal, and I personally don't think that's a wise decision. Visual-effect wise, Mark Kolpack has admitted that creating Robbie Reyes' Ghost Rider's flaming head and chains for the 4th season of "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." was taxing and demanding. It's basically a movie-level VFX that required extra hours and patience, not something that can usually be rushed in a TV deadline. Now imagine doing that with Inferno, who emits flame from all over his body! But there's a bigger stake, here. You see, Dante's clearly a latino hero, and we haven't had one headlining an MCU movie until now. With his visual powers and relatable storyline (struggling with being Inhumans, a minority, rock star, and all), a movie would privilege Dante with the justice he deserve. I'm aware that highly likely Marvel Studios will be going with a cosmic Sam Alexander's Nova instead, and that's okay. But Inferno would be more current, if not more likeable choice.

Ka-Zar

Kevin Plunder came in to this list, with the same reason to Hercules. Because he's Marvel version of Tarzan! Hollywood has been trying to create a good Tarzan movie over and over again, and they're either an okay hit or a sad miss. As far as I know, none of them were ever able to please every audience, not even Disney's animated version. But Ka-Zar is different, because he carries more 'fantasy' than just trying to ape the King of the Jungle. The setting of his adventures, the "Savage Land" that's hidden deep in Antarctica, would be something magnificent to feature in the big screen. We've got Asgard, Kamar-Taj, Wakanda, why not add Savage Land too! Don't forget Zabu, his saber-toothed best friend, which would require massive CGI work. Suffice to say, the things I'm reading and hearing about Ka-Zar only leads to one conclusion: I want to see him in a live action movie! Now, who can portray him? Hmmm... a natural blond Brit like Charlie Hunnam, perhaps?

Ms. Marvel

All concerns I had for Dante, goes for Kamala Khan as well. Being a fellow Inhumans, there's been a rampant rumor recently that she'll be getting a TV series (supposedly the one John Ridley is working on). For me, that's a HUUUGE NOOOO. And due to THREE major reasons. ONE, similar to Inferno, TV budget won't be able to handle the VFX required to showcase her Inhuman ability with the right look and feel. Look no further than that underwhelming looking "Inhumans" series as example! Would you like to see an iconic figure like Kamala being reduced to a 'disaster' with the excuse of making her 'grounded'? You know, like what Marvel TV have already done to Medusa? I certainly DON'T. Kamala is basically the modern version of Mr. Fantastic, and we all know that even FOX have tried to do Reed Richards right in the movies several times, but still couldn't perfectly nail it. Downgrading this situation to a TV level would only make it worse. TWO, Kamala is a genuinely likeable and well-beloved character that easily captures the heart and attention of many readers throughout the world. If the 60s-90s had Peter Parker, Kamala's the youth representative for the modern world. Hip, cool, and current (being a social media freak and all), but also kind and caring... eventhough she's a triple-decker minority (Female, South Asian heritage, and Moslem) living in a racist country. Which leads me to the final reason. THREE, her story will have a MUCH BIGGER impact to the world as a movie. Releasing a Marvel Studios movie with her as the lead in an international market (including countries with Moslem as majority), would not only bank a great amount of money, but also sends the right messages: one, unlike its current government, Hollywood is NOT racist; two, that everyone can be a hero, regardless of their gender, race, and religion! Relegating a character this HUGE to a small-scoped TV series that not everyone can gain access to, would be a massive disservice. Kamala is the hero the world currently needs, so please don't undermine her into disappointments.

She-Hulk

Another tricky situation, though in this case, due to the confusing copyrights. Actor Mark Ruffalo has repeatedly said, that a Hulk solo movie won't be coming along the road because Universal has the distribution rights. What about his super-powered cousin, Jennifer Walters? It's unclear, but I can only assume that she has the same legal limitation. Thankfully, it also doesn't mean that she can't be used in a Marvel Studios movies. She just need to be included as part of an ensemble, that's all. The great thing about Jen, is that she's a lawyer and later a judge. Not only she's strong physically, but also academically. Won't that be a strong role model for young women and girls all around the world? We haven't really had a law angle in the superhero movies until now, with Daredevil occupying the Netflix universe. So bringing Jen into the light would be fresh and promising. As for who should play him, I don't have a particular choice, but someone with Award prestige like Emily Blunt, Charlize Theron, and/or Jennifer Lawrence would be a great get...

Songbird

Former villain turned Avengers? Yep, that premise alone would make a great story. Melissa Gold started off as a troubled woman, with broken family and harsh situation. Giving in to the world of crime (known as Screaming Mimi) was clearly her way to stay alive. Eventually she stumbled into the road of heroism with the Songbird moniker, and ended up becoming a full-time member of the Avengers. Just like the other characters I've included here, Melissa would be a great role model, especially for troubled teenagers. Her path of redemption proves that anyone, regardless of their past and issues, can be a hero too. An inspiring message that Marvel Studios need to share to the world. She doesn't sell enough as a solo movie? Well, then debuting her as part of the "Thunderbolts" would be equally okay for me. All the ingredients are already in the MCU anyway (Thunderbolt Ross, Helmut Zemo?). As for the actress, for some reason, I want to see Anna Kendrick in this role. Yeah, basically I just want to see her in a Marvel Studios movie, but I believe she would really bring justice to the gorgeous-designed Songbird.

White Tiger

We've already gotten an African "Black Panther", now it's time for a hispanic White Tiger! Her powers come from the mystical side, and since "Doctor Strange" has opened up the gateway to supernatural, we can have more heroes with this kind of origin story! I'm personally going with Ava Ayala, and not Angela del Toro, eventhough either of them would be wonderful. Why White Tiger? Same reason to Dante, and in a way, Kamala. Sure, the MCU have included numerous Latino actors who either got lost in the background (Jonathan Pangborn?), or turned out to be a scene stealer (looking at you Luis!!!), but we haven't really had a major hispanic hero in the MCU until now. More importantly, a female one! Debuting Ava in the MCU would also, once again, sends off a great message. The US government have been really discriminative about immigrants lately, including the hispanics. Putting Ava in the spotlight would remind everyone that South Americans CAN be heroes, and not criminals like what they're being wrongfully accused for. We truly need characters like this right away! As for who should play her, I'm currently setting my eyes on Gina Rodriquez of the hit series "Jane the Virgin".

Honorable Ment... SPECIAL ADDITIONS

The next characters are those who (as far as my memory serves) haven't made their debut in the "Avengers Assemble" series. So they sort of... didn't fulfill the basic requirement for my initial list. But it'd be unfair leaving them behind like that, right? That's why they are special 'Bonus' additions. Without further ado, in alphabetical order:

Brother Voodoo

For the record, I'm not being racist by sidelining the only black character to this section. The reason I put him here, is because his debut in the MCU movies is pretty much confirmed. Daniel Drumm, big brother to Jericho Drumm, has already made his appearance in "Doctor Strange" as the original protector of New York Sanctum Santorum. And director Scott Derrickson has already hinted that his death would lead to consequences, including the arrival of Jericho. Debuting Jericho as a sort of sidekick to Stephen Strange would be nice, but it would be much better if he gets his own movie too. Yes, there's an issue regarding his name, because using Voodoo might... well, attract criticsm. But titles can be tweaked, right? Considering Jericho ends up becoming a Sorcerer Supreme too, I believe he'll be perfect as the next black hero to headline his own movie.

Shang-Chi

I've already repeatedly mentioned that Marvel Studios NEED a major hero representing minorities, and this is another great candidate. Marvel Studios have brought several prominent Asian characters into the MCU, like Wong, Mantis (eventhough she's an alien), and Helen Cho. Yet they all share similar characteristic: they are all supporting cast. If Marvel Studios want to play it 'safe' and headline an East Asian lead character, then Shang-Chi is the go-to-guy. Nope, I'm not undermining him, but just pointing out how easy he would appeal to the audience. Shang-Chi is in a way, Marvel Comics' response to Bruce Lee. We all know that the world LOVES some Bruce Lee. And Shang is more than just a Bruce Lee copy, he's also a master of espionage who's determined to take down his own father's criminal empire. Pretty much a solid recipe for a James Bond-styled wuxia blockbuster hit, am I right! "Doctor Strange" has teased the use of martial arts to support magic, a hero like Shang would put it upfront as the star of the party. Marvel TV might have taken the stamp on Iron Fist (with mixed response), so Shang is the opportunity for Marvel Studios to do it RIGHT! Jon Woo, Ang Lee, or Jacky Chan can direct this, and as for the actor, Godfrey Gao is my top pick. But Ludi Lin, Philip Ng (star of the fictional Bruce Lee biopic "Birth of the Dragon"), or even Yoshi Sudarso (who is Chinese-Indonesian) would be fantastic nonetheless.

Spider-Woman

The last tricky affair of the day! Jessica Drew is called Spider-Woman, but she uses the 'Spider' moniker by name only, and unrelated to Spider-Man. That's why until now, it's currently unclear whether her movie rights is owned by SONY or not. She's actually one of the superheroine I've been itching to see in the MCU, but admittedly, these questions surrounding her place always put me on a weird crossroad. Drew is connected to Hydra, the High Evolutionary, and has always been a full-blown Avengers. And all of those screams MCU. She's also the best friend of Carol Danvers, so I honestly want to see her show up in "Captain Marvel". Her comic origin story sort of fits with "Captain Marvel" 90s setting too. Have Jessica encounter Carol when she was a child, then Jessica was put into stasis for years, only to wake up as a superpowered woman in the present day. And then she meets Carol again, and team up as the new Avengers. All's well ends well! I personally want to see Tatiana Maslany of the famous "Orphan Black" for this character, but Marvel Studios can always cast an Asian actress (like Constance Wu or Celina Jade) due to Drew's ambiguous background.

Young Avengers

This one initially started off with just William "Billy" Kaplan and partner Theodore "Teddy" Altman. A sweet pairing more famously known as Wiccan and Hulkling. My way of thinking was, it'd be rude and unfair to name just one of them, right? If Marvel Studios wants to go ahead and feature an LGBT representation, these guys are the one they should use. Is it possible? There's a hint that we'll be seeing Vision and Wanda Maximoff's relationship evolve in "Avengers: Infinity War". Perhaps somehow they end up bending reality, and Billy is magically conceived? Meanwhile, "Captain Marvel" confirmed that the alien race Skrull CAN be used in the MCU, so a half Kree-Skrull (his biological father is the original/male Captain Marvel) like Teddy is more than just possible. Basically, that movie is the only gateway needed for his debut in the MCU.

But then I began thinking. Why am I leaving behind Billy's twin brother Thomas "Tommy" Shepherd? Poor Pietro Maximoff was killed off in just one movie, why am I sidelining another Speed-ster? That's NOT right. Then the more I think of it, the bigger the scope gets. We have a Hawkeye and Ant-Man who are both fathers in the MCU. Why not include their protege/child? Katherine "Kate" Bishop might not be Clint Barton's daughter, but the two shared a special connection that would be great to depict on the big screen. And then there's Cassandra "Cassie" Lang who looks up to her father Scott, and aspires to be a size-shifting heroine of her own. Cassie has already debuted in the MCU as played by Abby Ryder Fortson, why not promote her into a hero too? And how could I miss out the lesbian latina America Chavez? Fitting in comfortably to all the diversity talk I've stated above, America is not only female, latina, she's also an LGBT representative. Another triple-decker like Kamala. JACKPOT!

So yeah, that's how I ended up with Young Avengers instead. If Marvel TV has "The Runaways", then Marvel Studios can have these equally (if not more prospective) young heroes! If we assume that we will no longer see the Avengers following the 2019 movie, then introducing the Young Avengers would be the most logical continuation. This movie doesn't even to take place in the present time, but a bit further in the future, or even in an alternate reality. That's the function of Reality Stone and Multi-verse, right? This team represents youth, fun, and diversity, sending all the right messages to the world. And at the same, enabling older actors like Jeremy Renner, Paul Rudd, Benedict Cumberbatch and others to serve briefly as mentor figures. There's also one other reason why this special team ends up being the last entry on this post (which is unintentional, to be honest): because I REALLY want them to show up in the MCU! \(*v*)/

So there you have it, the 9 (plus 4+) Marvel Heroes I want to see coming to the big screen. In the end though, this is nothing more than a personal opinion. It's obviously a very subjective thinkpiece, so anyone else might not have the same idea (if you do have your take, then do post them, I'd gladly read it!). I do however, hope that someone, anyone from Marvel Studios would somehow stumble upon this, read it, and put these names into considerations. I sincerely feel they will bring something NEW to the MCU, while continue conveying message of hope, inspiration, kindness, and good. After all, that's what Marvel Studios movies are for, right? Thanks for reading... enjoy your September 9th! Even if it might be just a regular day for most of us... XD

#Just for Fun #movie #random #marvel #Marvel Studios

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jaredthegreek · 7 years

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Review: June Star Wars Comics

Delays from conventions made this a cramped reading schedule for me, but thankfully most of the comics are good despite reading three books by a writer who lacks in talent. However, the conclusion of The Screaming Citadel really brought up the quality this month. Overall, it was a good month and hopefully July and August will trim down the numbers a bit before the ‘journey to’ comics that will be coming in September.

JUNE COMICS:

Darth Vader #1: The second volume of Darth Vader comes in with a generic cover and very little to separate it from the first volume. This time we have Charles Soule (Poe Dameron) as the writer, but unlike his previous two Star Wars outings this is a pretty good first issue. It has some writing flaws, for example, the speech by Mas Amedda that intercuts an emotional battle between Vader and the Emperor really hurts the tone. The art is very good except for faces, they can look a little off for some reason. However, the more cartoony style is my preference for Star Wars comics. In addition to that, the fights can be followed and have lots of energy behind them. Then there is the backup gag comic in that Sunday Funny comic style that just doesn’t feel right in Star Wars. The story is Vader killing various generals while a mouse droid tries to ready his meditation chamber. I don’t find unnecessary death funny and overall the book would have been better without the backup. This was a fine issue one I can only hope that Charles Soule doesn’t screw it all up.

Darth Vader #2: The story continues as Vader makes his way to a Jedi outpost to gather information on his target. This puts Vader against stormtroopers like in a alt skin version of The Force Unleashed, but while Starkiller was undercover Vader has no excuse for not explaining why he is there. This issue is an excuse for a couple mediocre fight scenes and padding before Vader tracks down his target. The repartee between the stormtroopers is fun, but it is a small part of this story. The art is better than the previous issue since just about everyone is wearing a helmet, but the action is rather bland. This wasn’t a bad issue, but it doesn’t feel me with confidence that this will be a good series.

Rogue One #3: The story picks up as Jedha City is bombarded by the Death Star. The story continues until the assault on Eadu with very few changes in the story. There is a nice moment with Saw before his death, but not much else that seems changed or added. The big advantage in this version is the emotion on people’s faces which still beat the wooden performances from the movie. There is still very little reason to jump into this comic if you have seen the movie, but it is a well done retelling with some great artwork and a few minor changes to the dialogue.

Star Wars #32: The Screaming Citadel continues as Leia, Sana, and the droids try to stay alive as the violent madness in the citadel reachs a climax. Meanwhile, Aphra makes her escape while Luke and Han are tortured by the Queen. This issue ends with an intense cliffhanger as everything seems to be getting more and more crazy in this crossover. The writing is fantastic with some great dialogue from Triple-Zero as well as an emotional moment for Aphra. The art is top teir and makes the grotesque citadel really stand out, but outside the castle the backgrounds are a little bland. There is no reason to not read this story as it looks to be ending with a bang.

Doctor Aphra #8: The ending of the crossover begins exactly where the last issue ended with the heroes pushed to their limits while facing the Queen’s army. The resolution comes a bit faster than I would have liked, but it did give enough room to resolve a few remaining plot threads. This was a great event with an ending that makes me remember why I love these comics so much. The art is also pretty good, but not spectacular. Overall, this was a great ending to The Screaming Citadel and this event is a must read for those looking for a different type of Star Wars adventure. the only downside is that unlike Vader Down this crossover doesn’t do much to change the status quo.

Darth Maul #4: The story begins with a recap and the various criminals coming after Darth Maul and his bounty hunter team. This issue is mostly made up of fight scenes, which gets old, but the interludes featuring Darth Maul and the Padawan are well written. The art is still the biggest highlight of this series with faces being expressive and the world feeling like a Star Wars world. The conclusion will likely be action packed as well and I can’t wait to read the next issue. This is one of the best series currently running amongst the Star Wars comics.

Droids: Unplugged #1: This is a compilation issue featuring three previously published side stories featuring droid characters. I have covered all three of these stories before in previous reviews and I am not going to review them again here. I only really liked SaBBatage as it was a cute BB-8 side story, but the others just feel like filler material for shorter issues of comics. If you have a younger child in your life this might be a fun way to introduce them to Star Wars comics, but beyond that this could be skipped as it adds nothing to the overall story of any aspect of Star Wars. Frankly, the only reason to own this is if you are a massive completionist or if you never read these stories due to picking up the trades (and you’re a completionist).

Poe Dameron Annual #1: If you get a talented writer than even an Annual that I wasn’t looking forward to reading can be enjoyable. Robbie Thompson blows the terrible writing of the main series away with a story about Poe Dameron trying to survive after being stranded in space. This leads Poe to eventually learning key intel about the First Order and having a few good fights. The art is a bit better than most issues of the series with the faces looking very realistic, but the expressions can be a little wonky. The action is a little stiff, but it does have enough life to make it more visually interesting than the main series action scenes. It’s too bad this is tied into the Poe Dameron series because this is a great creative team that wont be coming back to Poe Dameron any time soon making me hate the main series that much more. Ideally, this team will be back for more Star Wars because they have talent and making a boring character’s adventures far more interesting than the current Dameron creative team.

Poe Dameron #16: The series continues as Poe and his team try to escape the trapped freighter and solve the fuel issues the Resistance is facing. The writing is still bad with everyone being panicked one moment then solving everything with no problem the next. Everything comes together too easily, but the arc isn’t over which means these events will have consequences, maybe. The art seems different than previous issues, but that makes some of the character designs look off from the norm of this saga. Overall, this was an average issue of this series so there is no real surprises here. I am hoping this series will come to an end soon, but with the big Last Jedi push that will be coming in September I doubt that will happen anytime soon.

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 6 years

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They’re Here… To Stay: 36 Years of POLTERGEIST

You can probably remember the first time you watched a scary movie, your first horror movie – and that stomach-quenching, sweat-inducing, hair-raising feeling it gave you. When I think of the one that sent the good old-fashioned electric chills down my spine (and still does to this day no matter how many films I consume), my mind instantly lands on the eerie illuminated silhouette of a little girl sitting in front of a television set with her hands flat on the screen. I think of Poltergeist.

Poltergeist, Tobe Hooper’s 1982 film revolves around the family and home of Steve and Diane Freeling played by JoBeth Williams (The Big Chill, Kramer vs. Kramer) and Craig T. Nelson (The Skulls, The Devils Advocate) and their children Dana, played by Dominique Dunn, Carol Anne played by Heather O’Rourke, and Robbie, played by Oliver Robbins. Strange supernatural occurrences progress into a relentless haunting. When the youngest of the Freeling children disappears into thin air, Steve and Diane, with the help from a seasoned medium and a few knowledgeable paranormal investigators, are forced to face their fears together as a unit in order to rescue her from the malevolent spirits of the undead.

Since it turns 36 years old today, I’ve decided to honor it by listing 36 reasons why it is such a great film, in no particular order.

“Now…hold onto yourselves.”

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1. It’s a classic haunted house story.

Why are haunted houses so scary? It’s a pretty simple answer on the surface that can set roots down and dig deep. There is something terrifying about the defilement of your own home, your sanctuary, and that is exactly what happens to The Freeling Family and their home, sweet home. It’s worse when that defiling comes at the hands of an unknown, malevolent omnipresence. Because of all the reasons below, plus more, Poltergeist continues to hold rank as one of the most memorable haunted house films.

2. The main characters are extremely average.

Characters of a film, whether horror or not, should stand out in some shape, way, or form. Writing an original personality or sculpting a character to fit the ‘unique’ mold is not an easy task. What makes The Freeling Family so special? Nothing at all. The fact that they are a totally average, American family makes them ironically unique in the genre.

However, this nuclear family is relatable to most audiences. And if your audience identifies with the character, whatever is happening on-screen to the characters makes the audience feel like it’s happening to them. When we identify, we empathize, we make ourselves vulnerable to all the feelings and that includes fear. I don’t know about you, but I have zero desire to slide across the kitchen floor due to some magical unseen force, thank you.

3. It all takes place in suburbia.

Going hand-in-hand with characterization, the setting plays a major role in the quality and effectiveness of the film. Poltergeist’s haunting takes place, very purposefully, in a home of a neighborhood that you and I could easily find ourselves living in or already living in. Again, we can identify with The Freelings.

One random situation about Poltergeist that always stuck with me occurred in the end when Diane’s is trying to get back into her house to battle paranormal Beast once more for her children. She frantically tries to get back in the house – alerting the apprehensive, and no doubt frightened neighbors, begging them for help. It’s a very small detail, but unlike a lot of films where the inhabitants of surrounding houses all seem to disappear when our protagonists are in danger, The Freelings’ neighbors do what any normal people would do: check out what the hell is going on outside and then go back to being of no help at all. It adds realness to the setting. I mean, if I was running around half-dressed screaming into the dead of night my neighbors would come to help me out…or at least pretend to attempt to.

“You only moved the headstones!”

4. The motive behind the haunting is simple.

What ruins many supernatural stories is the inability to explain why the occurrence is happening in the first place. This is where filmmakers are thrown off and the story folds on itself becoming a convoluted mess. Poltergeist keeps it simple: the lovely suburban neighborhood is constructed on an Indian burial ground and the lazy, greedy contractors failed to remove the bodies. They moved the headstones, but that’s about as good sweeping dust under a rug. There is paranormal lore to back this situation up too! Well, this dust is pissed its sleeping ground is soiled by the living and retaliates by dragging your daughter into the realm of the dead to steal her life force. Next time, make a check list.

5. The ‘curse’ of Poltergeist.

Of all the conspiracies and oddities of Hollywood, the curse supposedly put on those who worked on Poltergeist is by far my favorite. There is far too much to discuss here so I will leave you to do the reading separately. It’s totally worth a Google, but I will tell you it ranges from the uncommon terminal illness of the star to random tragic deaths of crew members that are full of what could just be interesting coincidences or the workings of the dead. You decide. Either way, the speculation adds a hint of spookiness to Poltergeist that most films (I guess, thankfully) don’t have.

6. Tangina Barrons.

By the time the helpful medium shows up to save the day, the poor Freelings are at the end of their rope and we, as an audience, are too. For so many reasons the elderly woman is a huge sigh of relief for The Freelings, they now have some hope of saving their daughter with help from an experienced pro, and for us, we can breathe with the help of some comic relief provided by Tangina. Her unfazed demeanor and confidence in facing the menacing spirits is quick to calm everyone… before things get bad again. Yet still the sweet old lady pushes the family through as any strong matriarch would. Who you gonna call? Tangina.

7. Coulrophobia.

Of course with the recent success of Andy Muschietti’s IT and the iconic stature of Stephen King’s original film, when most people think of clowns their mind conjures up Pennywise. But those of you old school kids will think of the awful, possessed clown doll that taunts and then attacks Robbie, the middle child. It’s an iconic scene and may have well induced more Coulrophobia (the fear of clowns) in the masses since John Wayne Gacy.

8. Tangina’s Life After Death monologue.

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To detail a little more about the realm of the immortal, Tangina explains the life after death theory to Diane and Steve. She tells them about the light we see when we die, how some move on, and some don’t. The way in which actress recites her lines, as delicately and lovingly as a mother tucking her children in to sleep at night, puts The Freelings and viewers at ease with the inevitable destination we all reach at some point. Her delivery is cathartic and honest. The mood shift that occurs when she adds the warning about the hate and rage of the Beast that surrounds them is almost palpable and puts us right back into a state of fear before following The Freelings to rescue Carol Anne from it. In my opinion, simultaneously the most comforting and unsettling monologue in all of cinema.

9. The third act’s third act.

Poltergeist succeeds so well where a majority of horror movies fall flat. The third act is powerful, quick, relevant, and scary. Diane retrieves Carol Anne from the dead, the house is clean, and the family settles down thinking everything will go back to normal. SIKE. The spirits are even more pissed and attack the family with more hate and gusto than ever before. It’s everything the ending of a horror movie should be and more. Poltergeist lets you know that the dead aren’t removed so easily, death is constant. That rug will be moved one day, so it’s best to get a vacuum.

10. Palette-cleanser.

As a little ‘a-ha!’ jab in the very end (the real end), The Freelings flee to a motel. Like a tired family returning from an amusement park, they slug inside only for Steve to wheel out the television. That family takes no chances. It’s another little detail that makes us laugh a little and after sitting through two hours of ghosts and beasts and the un-dead was very much needed. The Freelings’ good humor is the perfect end note. I wonder if they were able to actually sleep that night?

“They’re here…”

11. One-liners galore!

Mr. Spielberg knows how to write a line and Poltergeist is full of them. We still quote it to this day. Be it a clever one liner or some of the best dialogue in horror, Poltergeist is an expert piece filled with meaning and “many hearts”.

12. The mundane becomes monstrous.

Is a piece of raw meat scary? It is after you watch Poltergeist! This film takes normal, domestic things like trees, toys, the family pool, a lamp, furniture, and, especially, your television and turns them into terrorizing vessels of the dead’s biding. I’m still afraid I’m going to walk out of a room and walk back into it only to find the furniture all disheveled and randomly stacked up. Almost 90% of Poltergeist takes place in or around the Freeling property containing this ongoing ghostly assault within the one space a person is supposed to feel the most safe. The choices for scares are smart because they make the normal abnormal and the simple petrifying. The dead use the objects of The Freelings’ house to enact their revenge on them, a tactic like this is pretty personal and hits very close to home.

13. The visual effects were, well… effective.

I have no choice but to keep this point and then next short as they could be discussed at great length. Poltergeist was made during a time where visual effects either made or broke a movie. They hold up 36 years later or they don’t. Being the visual masterpiece that it is, both real or digitally enhanced, Poltergeist is one of those horror films that has masterful effects never once letting us doubt if what we’re seeing could be a reality or not. We live in a world where the less we are shown, the scarier the experience is, but Poltergeist puts everything right in front of eyes in plain sight, horrifying us all the same. It makes it possible for a full demon face to take up the framing of a closet, for a woman to be stuck the ceiling of her bedroom, for a man to feel his own flesh right off of his face, and for a children’s room to become a swirling circus of toys.

14. The imagery does the talking.

Poltergeist’s overall look is hands-down untouchable. The way the dark, ethereal, and realistic representations of the dead clash with the bright-colored, natural domestic elements of The Freeling home make it a visual experience for viewers. Everything from Carol Anne’s bright long blonde hair to the red nose of the possessed clown doll to the blind portal light are images that stay with us long after the credits roll.

15. The storyline doesn’t require analysis.

Nowadays films try so hard to be divisive and symbolic, but it is this yearning to be unique that is often the nail in the coffin for many. It could be that we, as a general audience, demand more from writers, directors, and producers, but the simplicity of the classics is understandably hard to master. Poltergeist is heavy in tone and does have all of those analytical elements behind it, but you do not have to be a literary scholar or well versed in Latin or Greek mythology to get its message. Whether you are in it for the scary haunted house story or wish to interpret the mechanics of the afterlife, Poltergeist is the perfect vessel for both.

16. There are lessons to be learned.

Horror films usually provide a lot of meaning, but fewer leave room for lesson interpretation. No elaboration needed: Don’t build any living quarters on burial grounds of any sort and when your time comes, go into the light.

17. It’s directed written and produced by Steven Spielberg.

Due to contractual obligations in regards to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Steven Spielberg (Jaws) could not direct Poltergeist, but he did write and produce it. There is some speculation and commentary made about him directing the director, Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), and the finished product all but has his signature on it. Poltergeist has that nostalgic, ordinary meets supernatural, expertly crafted feel to it. Whatever the controversy depends on, it’s obvious that Spielberg had more to do with this film than the writing. Whatever his involvement in Poltergeist, we are eternally grateful.

18. Diane and Steve Freeling are good parents.

The Freeling parents and their children appear to be a normal, solid unit and ironically in this genre that is exactly what they truly are. Aside from typical domestic problems, there is no deviation from the desirable white picket fence plan. What I like the most? They light up in their bedroom to relax and take the edge off. Just kidding! When it’s obvious that something is amiss in their house and that something has taken one of their children, Diane and Steve come to terms with the weird situation they’re in and are quick to get help, the right kind of help, with little to no skepticism. In a world of the irrational, Diane and Steve are soberly rational.

19. Diane Freeling is the real MVP.

I’m not a parent yet, but sacrificing yourself for your children is something I understand wholeheartedly. With that said, I always seem to find myself thinking ‘Nope’ every time Diane rushes right into the ghostly fires to get to Carol Anne and Robbie. She is quick to be the one to enter the closet portal, possibly the mouth of Hell, to get to her daughter, and in the end she relentlessly pushes through all the horrific forces thrown at her to rescue her children.

Steve is a good father and all, but it is always Diane physically and mentally stepping up to the plate to end this situation and keep her family safe. How do you react to your daughter telling you she talks to and sees the “TV people”? I’m sure parental love, especially that of a mother, is the most powerful feeling of all and we have it in us when we step into that role, but I might need some convincing and mental hype-up before someone tied a rope to my waist and sent me off into a world crawling with angry spirits to rescue anything. A shot of whiskey would help too.

20. The haunting is well-paced.

The progress of the spirits making themselves known sets the stage for this film and is realistically paced. When there are reports of disturbances, whether real or purely as hoaxes, it is common for the entity to seem friendly at first. That interaction slides into a little mischievous fun, with the spirits feeding off of our energy to become stronger. Once that happens the real haunting occurs and the spirits become hostile. It is a constant, linear build up. Poltergeist sticks to this evolution and is supremely successful in feeding off of our increasing fear as we take this journey with The Freelings, thankfully, over the course of two hours.

21. Poltergeist II and III are not that bad!

It’s relatively known that sequels and any installments following are expected to be less than sub-par in comparison to the original. Poltergeist is a heck of a tough act to follow, but Brian Gibson’s Poltergeist II: The Other Side is a worthy successor with a (in my opinion) meaner and more frightening villain: Reverend Kane, played expertly by Julian Beck. He is absolute nightmare fuel. The quality lessens with Gary Sherman’s Poltergeist III, taking the story to a more urban setting and introducing new characters, while keeping Heather O’Rourke for the ghost show to traumatize. Again, not as good enough original, but good watches in a lesser realm.

Fun fact: Poltergeist II was also nominated for an Academy Award for Best Visual Effects too!

22. The remake should be looked at as a form of flattery.

Gil Kenan’s (Monster House) 2015 remake of Poltergeist was pretty much a flop, but that really comes as no surprise. The classics of any genre should be left alone as there is an unattainable notoriety that comes with that status. We can always hope to enjoy them, but it’s never the same or better. The remake’s ultimate ‘meh’ quality is a true testament to all of the successful elements that made 1982’s Poltergeist an anomaly. Let sleeping spirits lie.

23. Ahhh! Real corpses!

The scene where Diane winds up in the pool trench in the backyard that has begun to fill with water and rotting corpses has a bit more going on that what we see on-screen. Though the visual effects are great, it seemed like someone thought going all-in as far as corpse props was the best way to produce the ultimate scare. Yes, those are real cadavers and skeletons. Production is expensive and the real thing was cheaper. I guess some projects require a little conservation? It’s another one of those Poltergeist fun facts and one that only a handful of films claim to have. This is rumored to be the reason behind ‘the curse’, which unfortunately and ironically proves this film broke its own lesson. Just don’t mess with the dead or their resting place.

24. It’s rated… PG?

Poltergeist is rated PG! Granted there was no official PG-13 rating at the time and it didn’t have enough violence to be considered Rated-R, it’s difficult to wrap your head around. I still wouldn’t be able to watch this alone in the middle of the afternoon and I’m almost 30 years old. Frozen and Shrek are rated-PG if that puts it in perspective for you. Why is this a good point? Nowadays, most films aim for an R-rating to be successful. Poltergeist terrified everyone, still does, and established itself as a classic all within the parameters of a PG-rating.

25. The focus is on fear, real and imagined.

Though the plot is relatively simple, should you want to do any sort of analysis on Poltergeist, you’ll find that one of the major focuses of the plot is fear – that of the parents and that of the children. A parent’s worst fear is losing their children and being helpless. Children are afraid of monsters in the closet and thunderstorms. The universal fear we all have in common: dying. This film ties them altogether. Poltergeist is a gem that represents the motifs of fears well without getting too detailed… or too depressing.

26. There’s only one fatality and it doesn’t need more than that.

RIP Tweety.

27. The score.

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Jerry Goldsmith’s praised soundtrack is a medley of childlike whimsy, gradual intensity, and grandeur eeriness. It is an experience all its own, clearly stating the tone of Poltergeist’s purity, drama, and horror. I could only listen to it on YouTube for a few minutes while writing this.

28. Poltergeist trivia!

Like the production curse, Poltergeist is full of fun facts and trivia! If you’re anything like me and love to gather up these little bits of information, I would Google this as well. Again, there is far too much to included here, but it’s one of those older films that has all the interesting bits and pieces to it. Did You know Drew Barrymore (Scream) was considered for the part of Carol Anne, but Spielberg cast her to E.T. Instead?

29. Nods from the Academy.

Nominations include Best Original Music Score, Best Visual Effects, and Best Sound Editing. Obviously.

30. The problem is not an easy one to fix…

How do you get rid of the dead? You really can’t in a way. Tangina explains that they are always there, always around us, because the souls refuse to move on. The only thing we can do is guide them to the light and help transition their souls to the other side. Even she could not fix the whole problem in the end. Since the issue remains, we’re ultimately left uneasy which is how one should feel at the end of any good horror film.

31. You are scared from the beginning!

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The first spook comes at around 3 minutes into the film. Spielberg wasted no time in hooking the audience. Starting off with a (star spangled) bang and then transitioning to the normal daily routine of The Freelings is a shock to our system and leaves us begging for more.

32. It influences modern horror filmmakers.

If you’re a fan of James Wan you may notice some similarities between his high-grossing horror installments and Poltergeist. The second and only other time I can remember being terrified by a film was when I saw Insidious in theaters. I consumed horror movies throughout my youth rendering myself desensitized pretty quickly. I saw Insidious reluctantly with a few friends thinking it seemed like a B-horror movie. When the credits rolled and that harrowing fiddle began to play I knew I was about to watch something different, but something familiar at the same time. Like the semi-adult I was, Insidious was like a mature version of Poltergeist. All of the elements, some of them listed here, were resurrected and enhanced.

Before The Conjuring, Insidious, Paranormal Activity, and all the haunted house films that fall in between, Poltergeist created a paranormal language all its own lending it to film innovators of today and most assuredly in the future.

33. It makes death okay, so we’re okay with it.

Circling back to Tangina’s monologue and even that of Dr. Lesh, the explanation of the afterlife, though unnerving, is somewhat consoling. If you believe in life after death this film should resonate with you. It gives reason to the mysterious evils of the natural world allowing us to cope with what we now understand. Poltergeist is not just here to shock and scare us, it’s a finger on the pulse of death.

34. Jump scare rebounds like a champ!

Hooper and Spielberg mastered the art of building suspense. Executing the jump scare, and then fluidly moving forward – giving Poltergeist that perfect amount of dread and activity. The scares are not cheap, but rather keep the plot moving and our asses on the edge of our seat.

35. It’s technically a techno horror.

At the time ghosts in film were known for moving objects around or were shown as eerie apparitions. Poltergeist, as far as I know, I saw one of the films that broke through the technology barrier and introduced paranormal communication to us in a new way. While nostalgic, it was a very modern move and hit close to home. How many of us own a television? How easy would it be for that static to turn sinister? We can only be thankful we don’t have cable sign-offs anymore.

36. Dominique Dunne taught me how to flip people off.

I attended Catholic School for almost all of my academic years (a place that ironically produces more gore hounds and metal heads than any other existing institution), so we can say I was naive in my early years. I knew what giving someone ‘the finger’ meant, somewhat, but when I watched the scene of the beautiful Dominique Dunne giving the catcalling construction workers the big ‘up yours’ gesture, I knew that whatever it meant, I wanted to do it one day. I asked my dad what it meant and he, of course, mislead me to believe it was a secret way to tell people ‘f*** off’. Well, when little Charlie starts bugging me during Private Reading (don’t interrupt me during Private Reading time, the rule still applies today), I gave him a piece of my mind with the new gesture I learned from the cool girl in Poltergeist. It was the first time I landed myself a detention, certainly was not the last, but I’ll always remember it.

With all this said, I have to give the reason I hate to saying when I recommend any film or need to back up its quality: It’s just good movie. If you’re experiencing it for the first time or taking a trip down memory lane, Poltergeist is sure to be a positive experience for you. If not, revisit this list. If you think I couldn’t come up with more you are dead wrong.

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