#OH! i also think he likes barenaked ladies
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i think scott listens to tally hall
#fanart#digital art#procreate#art#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#scott pilgrim takes off#scollace#tally hall#scott pilgrim vs the world#kieran culkin#michael cera#scott pilgrim fanart#spvtw fanart#spvtw#these r in different styles because the top one is from like a month ago lol#OH! i also think he likes barenaked ladies#and maybe weezer but that’s kind of cheap
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Some late-night thinking.
#Ik I've already done a drawing with the lighting like that and everything but it looks neat#so watch as I do it again#Oh while I was drawing this 'If I had a million dollars' by barenaked ladies came on#and I think that fits what I was going for XD#Gyro Gearloose#Fenton Crackshell Cabrera#Fenro#ducktales#ducktales 2017#dt17#duckverse#wacky's art#Gyro's neck is gonna hurt like hell in the morning#He's also laying on his stomach btw idk how obvious that is XD
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Spotlight on Part 2 of the Nandermo Chronicles...
He Led Me Straight Into the Breach... and All I Got Was This Amazing T-Shirt
After finishing "On the Precipice", I pondered... is that all there is? What happens next? Is it enough to just say that Guillermo and Nandor lived happily ever after? Did they really, though?
As I began to consider that very question, I decided they probably didn't... Not right away anyway. These boys have a lot of shit to work through. And it can't all be fixed overnight. Not even with effort and therapy. Some issues require time and perspective. Showing up every day and demonstrating how much you care.
As I thought about what the not too distant future looked like for our favorite idiots in love, I decided that it seemed plausible to me that the tables had turned... Nandor, who tends to LOVE what he loves would be deeply in love. And Guillermo would love him back, of course, but this new Guillermo would be more confident and have more of a life outside of Nandor than before.
With this in mind, I wrote the first sequel to "On the Precipice."
This part is unique from the others in the series in that the documentary crew is still around and filming. This was a cool device because it allows the author to have one character point blank ask another character, 'hey, what do you think about xyz?' Or 'explain this.' The caveat being that this does not suppose absolute truth or accuracy. But it did allow for a pretty comical bit with Colin Robinson.
This part also included the introduction of new familiars and the drama that goes along with that. One of whom @weakformemo wishes to die a thousand deaths... each of them more painful than the last.
It was also at this point that the song references started cropping up... "Waterfalls" by TLC. "Brian Wilson" by Barenaked Ladies. "Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet. These songs are included (along with many others) on my Nandermo playlist:
Summary:
Seven years after calling it a wrap on the filming of the Vampire Residence for the What We Do in the Shadows docuseries, the documentary crew returns at least in part due to news of Guillermo's prominent role in a fledgling political organization to fight for the rights of familiars and fairness in vampire-familiar relations. The crew quickly discovers that things at the Vampire Residence have changed considerably and not necessarily for the better. Not all the vampires are in residence and the ones that are appear to be struggling.
Excerpt:
“Oh, hey! Oh, it’s so nice to see you again! Most of you- and a new face,” Guillermo gushed, standing up and coming out from behind his desk to greet the crew that had been gone for 7 years. “Thanks, Jane.”
“Whatever,” Jane responded, leaving the crew with Guillermo.
Guillermo confidently stuck his hand out and shook hands with the new cameraman. No more shitty sweater. He was wearing an expensive wine-colored button up with onyx cuff links.
“So where did you guys leave off with us? What was happening? It’s so hard to keep track,” Guillermo gushed.
Please swing by AO3 and check it out. If you have not read "On the Precipice" (Part 1 of the Nandermo Chronicles) I would advise starting there before reading 'Breach.'
Thanks for your consideration!
#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#nandermo#nandor the relentless#guillermo de la cruz#wwdits nandermo#wwdits guillermo#wwdits nandor#nandor#Guillermo#fanfic#ao3 link#ao3 fic#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#nandermo playlist#happily ever after?
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TELL ME ABOUT YOUR STONE OCEAN OCS I'M WORKING ON MY OWN OCS AND NEED ✨INSPO✨
(esp Canada Goose he looks so FUNKY)
OK HERE WE GO :0 I don’t have too many
Canada Goose (yeah, that’s his name. legally)
•Somewhere in his late twenties. Six foot two. Chunky boi with fat tiddies. Has a large black back tattoo of the letters “BNL” in block font
•He’s a mid-to-high level ranking gangster in Sports Maxx’s gang who’s serving a reduced sentence (like Maxx, due to mafia destruction of evidence and legal tampering) for trafficking and selling hard drugs.
•He’s a natural stand user wielding Barenaked Ladies (often abbreviated to BNL). BNL is a soft, squishy parasitic stand that enters the body through open wounds and travels up the bloodstream to your brain. Once it’s in your head, BNL attaches itself to your brain and can read and transmit weak electric signals. Basically, this allows Goose to hear all your thoughts and allows him to send you telepathic messages. BNL can’t do any physical damage to its host, but it’s a psychological weapon that also gives Goose a huge boost in combat, kind of like Dragon’s Dream.
•Not too smart, but then again he doesn’t need to be. He’s good at what he does, he’ll leave the thinking up to people like Maxx. He’s a good listener, he loves just hanging out and shootin’ the shit with people, maybe with a drink and a smoke too.
Viktor Rolf (like the fashion house Viktor & Rolf)
•I COULDNT NOT STEAL HIM HES SO PRETTY LOOK 👁️👁️ AT HIMM
•Mid twenties. No significant tattoos, marks, or piercings.
•Dropped out of university (majoring in English) in his second year due to burn out and personal issues. Got a “temporary” job at the prison and promised his family and friends he’d be back at university as soon as he was feeling better. It’s been at least four years and yeah, he’s starting to feel like that’s never gonna happen. Not that he likes his job at GD st., he fucking HATES it here, but he just can’t bring himself to change everything again.
•He’s cold and standoffish with most people. He doesn’t want to get close with any of his coworkers because it feels like settling in, admitting defeat, admitting he’s never going to leave. Not rude per say, just curt and withdrawn.
•Oh yeah, and he’s secretly dating Goose. He appreciates that Goose doesn’t judge or ask questions.
Dege Goose-Rolf and Skinner Goose-Rolf (like the fashion company Dege & Skinner)
Don’t ask how it happened. Goose would probably tell you, just don’t ask.
•I’m away right now and haven’t had the time to draw them more :( so these are just preliminary sketches
•The twins are weird. like those kids who show up at family gatherings and you’re not quite sure who they’re related to but your mom says you have to sit next to them even if they chew crayons and smell funny.
•They’re very close. Goose is trying his best but he is a first time single dad with no idea what he’s doing, so they sometimes have to rely on each other.
•They share the stand Beastie Boys. I haven’t figured out what it does yet 🤔
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Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better!
Thanks for tagging me, @forasecondtherewedwon <3
Relationship Status: very happily partnered
Favourite Colour: sunflower yellow, turquoise
Favourite Food: avocado, mango, coffee (all of which I just had for breakfast!), french fries, kosher dill pickles, Japanese curry, spicy noodles (specifically this recipe), hot & sour soup, roasted vegetables
Song Stuck in Your Head: I've been humming and singing the Barenaked Ladies songs "Jane" and "Brian Wilson" for the past several days. No idea why.
Last Thing You Googled: omar najam, because I wanted to be sure I was spelling his name correctly
Time: 10:56am EDT
Dream Trip: I'd still love to get to New Zealand someday. In the meantime, I just booked tickets to go see @pepperf in a few weeks! It's been almost three years, we're excited!!!
Last Book You Read: currently reading The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente for 11yo's homeschool; also re-reading Exit Strategy, the fourth book in the Murderbot Diaries, by Martha Wells.
Last Book You Enjoyed Reading: Corinne by Rebecca Morrow. Also super-enjoyed Becky Chambers's A Prayer for the Crown-Shy, the second Monk & Robot book.
Last Book You Hated Reading: oh, I actually have an answer for this! A couple years ago there was a book on my younger daughter's homeschool curriculum that I wasn't familiar with, so I read it first, and it was fine, a story about a boy who decided to enter a dogsled race in an attempt to win the cash prize and save his family's land, except in the end of the book THE DOG'S HEART BURST AND HE DIED AND THAT WAS THE END OF THE BOOK. THE DOG WHO WAS HIS BEST FRIEND AND CLOSEST COMPANION. Literally there was maybe one page after that. I was like, this is not a book I think my 10-year-old needs to read, and I found a better book for us to read in its place. (I'm fine with books that include animal death, which is a part of life sometimes, but the way this book handled it was so clumsy and abrupt and weird, especially for a book that was aimed at upper elementary kids. Nuh-uh, no thanks.)
Favourite Thing to Cook/Bake: Recipes that involve a lot of chopping. Anything, really, as long as it's something I want to eat. I just like to cook and bake.
Most Niche Dislike: I'm sure there's something but I'm drawing a blank.
Opinion on the Circus: I went a handful of times as a kid because my dad always got free tickets through work. But I hated clowns and it was always kind of traumatic. I like cotton candy?
Do You Have a Sense of Direction: Not much of one, no. Though I do have a really good memory so I learn my way around new places relatively quickly.
low-key, no-pressure tagging folks from my recent activity: @jicklet, @stuckonaglacierwithmacgyver, @twelvemonkeyswere, @gbkoda, @winterlovesong1, @waxedpaperdoor, @possumsinatrenchcoat, @tabbyofwisdom, @authorizedpope, and anyone else who wants to do this.
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HUGE new batch of JCGTL quotes!
Mark: Why isn’t Jonas excited?
Chloe: I don’t know, but it’s weird. I’ve seen Jonas get excited over getting a curly fry mixed in with his regular fries. He talked about it for a month.
(Source: Austin and Ally)
(Mark Seaver, Chloe Seaver)
Mark: I’m going to bed. I don’t remember which room I’m in but I’m sure I’ll recognize the door.
Chloe: He’s going to be wandering around up there all night.
Justin: Yup, he belongs to the hotel now.
(Source: Bob's Burgers)
(Mark Seaver, Chloe Seaver, Justin Seaver)
Brad: Count me out.
Nate: We can’t count you out. Jonas listens to you.
Brad: He also listens to the Barenaked Ladies. Go get their dumb asses to help you.
*Everyone gasps*
Chloe: Back it up.
Nate: Okay, Brad. You are clearly in a bad space today, but Jonas is our friend and the Barenaked Ladies are triple platinum. Are you?
Brad: Why does everyone leap to defend that band so aggressively? And how much stuff do we have to go through before my friendship stops being questioned?
Chloe: Maybe friendship is about going through a lot of stuff. And maybe BNL has two Billboard Awards to your zero.
Brad: Oh, they’re “BNL” now? We need a shorthand for the Barenaked Ladies. That’s how fundamental they are. You know what Jonas probably needs more than anything? Some space. Maybe I do too.
Chloe: Maybe we all need some space to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid-‘90s, you selfish, jaded ass.
(Source: Community)
(Brad Thompson, Nate Kellerman, Chloe Seaver)
Samantha: So I have to be good for a whole month. Not a problem.
Samantha: …
Samantha: This is gonna kill me!
(Source: Garfield)
(Samantha Corbin)
Chloe: Could you ever see us as more than just friends?
Jonas: YES! I’m so glad you asked! I can totally see us as dragons! Hang on, let me find the picture I drew…
(Source: Instagram)
(Chloe Seaver, Jonas Corbin)
Jonas: Are you implying that I’m stupid?Brad: Wow, for someone who’s stupid, you figured that out quickly.
(Source: Inuyasha)
(Jonas Corbin, Brad Thompson)
Mark: Actually, I’m in charge, in case either of you have forgotten.
Chloe: No, we remember. We just don’t care.
(Source: Legends of Tomorrow)
(Mark Seaver, Chloe Seaver)
Kiera: You know those moments when I tell you something isn’t a good idea?
Chloe: And then I ignore you? Yeah.
(Source: Merlin)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Chloe Seaver)
Chloe: If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my hedgehog?
(Source: New Girl)
(Chloe Seaver)
Kiera: I want to be more decisive.
Chloe: About what?
Kiera: I don’t know, there’s so many options.
(Source: Poorly Drawn Lines)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Chloe Seaver)
Chloe: I hate you.
Connor: I know.
(Source: Star Wars)
(Chloe Seaver, Connor Urquhart)
Jonas (to Kiera): I'm not perfect, but I'll love you with everything I've got.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Jonas Corbin)
Adrian: Slartibartfast.
Kiera: Huh?
Adrian: That was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?
Kiera: Yeah, what about it?
Adrian: Yeah.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Adrian Bernhardt, Kiera Bernhardt)
Jonas: Hey, Nate, quick question here, how much is 132 multiplied by 42?
Nate: Do I look like a calculator to you?
Jonas: Yeah.
Nate: …
Nate: [sighing] 5,544.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman)
Jonas: How old is Frodo?
Chloe: I think he's about two or three.
Jonas: Thanks.
Chloe: Why?
Jonas: Do you think he's more magical or he uses full on fist combat?
Chloe: Are you guys making my hedgehog in an RPG?
Brad: Answer, please.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Jonas Corbin, Chloe Seaver, Brad Thompson)
Kiera: What’d you make for Nate?
Alicia, staring at the food she just burned: Regret.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Alicia Ramsey)
Jonas: Is there a word that’s a mix between “sad” and “mad”?
Nate: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
Brad: Smad.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman, Brad Thompson)
Robert: Can you come out?
Morgan: Okay, gimme a minute. Dad, I’m gay.
Robert: I know that, honey. I meant come out to the car.
Morgan: Car, I’m gay.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Robert Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart)
Kiera: *carries Lilith out of her room for being naughty*
Lilith: *purrs*
Kiera: You are being punished. Please do not purr. I love you.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Lilith)
Connor: Is there any recreational use for asprin?
Mark: You could juggle with the pills.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Connor Urquhart, Mark Seaver)
Jonas: You could at least ask to have some of my Halloween candy!
Mark: You’d say no anyways.
Jonas: BECAUSE YOU KEEP STEALING IT!
(Source: Tumblr)
(Jonas Corbin, Mark Seaver)
Jonas: You’re pretty strong. You should be my bodyguard.
Mark: I would love to be your bodyguard.
Jonas: I wouldn’t pay you.
Mark: I would hate to be your bodyguard.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Jonas Corbin, Mark Seaver)
Shana: What time is it?
Drake: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out.
Drake: *plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Neighbor: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING?
Drake: It’s 2 am.
(Source: Tumblr)
(Shana Levine, Drake Levine)
Jonas: Hey, Alicia, what are you writing?
Alicia: A fanfic.
Jonas: About what?
Alicia: You and Chloe.
Jonas, blushing: W-what? Why?
Alicia: Chloe asked me to. I’m being paid.
Chloe: I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT ANONYMOUS, IDIOT!
(Source: Tumblr)
(Jonas Corbin, Alicia Ramsey, Chloe Seaver)
John: Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.
(Source: Tumblr)
(John Seaver)
Colin: Can I buy you a drink?
Morgan: I have a girlfriend.
Colin: *counts out his money* She can only get something small then.
(Source: Twitter)
(Colin Gardner, Morgan Urquhart)
Nate: Did it hurt? When I told you to Google something and I was right?
(Source: Twitter)
(Nate Kellerman)
Jonas: How petty can you get?
Nate: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.
(Source: Twitter)
(Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman)
Brad: What’s the plan? We just hide in here forever?
Jonas: Not forever. Just until Mark is calm.
Chloe: So forever.
(Source: Victorious)
(Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin, Chloe Seaver)
Mark: You’re sick. You’re a sick person.
Connor: You’re just now figuring that out?
(Source: Victorious)
(Mark Seaver, Connor Urquhart)
Mark, banging on the door: Connor! Open up!
Connor: Well, it all started when I was a kid…
Morgan: No, he meant-
Jonas: Let him finish.
(Source: YouTube)
(Mark Seaver, Connor Urquhart, Morgan Urquhart, Jonas Corbin)
Connor: Mark and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Mark: Sentences.
Connor: Don't interrupt me.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Connor Urquhart, Mark Seaver)
Jonas: Rules are made to be broken.
Nate: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Brad: Uh, piñatas.
Alicia: Glow sticks.
Chloe: Karate boards.
Kiera: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Jonas: Rules.
Nate: …
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman, Brad Thompson, Alicia Ramsey, Chloe Seaver, Kiera Bernhardt)
Chloe: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Jonas has been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out…
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Chloe Seaver)
Kiera: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Connor: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Connor Urquhart)
Jonas: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Brad: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Jonas: Yes!
Chloe: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Jonas Corbin, Brad Thompson, Chloe Seaver)
Chloe: If Justin and I were drowning, who would you save?
Mark: You two can’t swim?
Justin: It’s a hypothetical question, Mark! Who would you save?
Mark: My time and effort.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Chloe Seaver, Mark Seaver, Justin Seaver)
Nate: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Brad: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Jonas: I got distracted about halfway through.
Chloe: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Nate Kellerman, Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin, Chloe Seaver)
Connor: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Mark: >:O language
Jadyn: Yeah watch your fucking language
Lauren: OKAY WHO TAUGHT JADYN THE FUCK WORD?
Nick: 'The fuck word'.
Jared: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Jadyn: Oh my god they censored it
Nick: Say fuck, Jared.
Jadyn: Do it, Jared. Say fuck.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Connor Urquhart, Mark Seaver, Jadyn Beaumont, Lauren Reinholt, Nick Murphy, Jared Murphy)
Kiera: I trust Jonas.
Chloe: You think he knows what he's doing?
Kiera: I wouldn't go that far.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Chloe Seaver)
Jonas: Hey, Nate? Can I get some dating advice?
Nate: Just because I’m with Alicia doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman)
Kiera: I told Jonas his ears flush when they lie.
Alicia: Why?
Kiera: Look. Hey, Jonas! Do you love me?
Jonas, covering his ears: No.
Alicia: …
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Alicia Ramsey, Jonas Corbin)
Jonas: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Nate: You’re a hazard to society
Chloe: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Jonas Corbin, Nate Kellerman, Chloe Seaver)
Jonas: Everyone, synchronize your watches.
Brad: I don’t know how to do that.
Chloe: I don’t wear a watch.
Nate: Time is a construct.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Jonas Corbin, Brad Thompson, Chloe Seaver, Nate Kellerman)
Mark: I think we're missing something.
Nick: Teamwork?
Jared: Cohesion?
Kyle: A general sense of what we’re doing?
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Mark Seaver, Nick Murphy, Jared Murphy, Kyle Levy)
Kiera: Why are Mark and Connor sitting with their backs to each other?
Morgan: They had a fight.
Kiera: Then why are they holding hands?
Morgan: They get sad when they fight.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Kiera Bernhardt, Morgan Urquhart)
Jonas: I think Brad was right.
Chloe: I'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Alicia: He wouldn't do that.
Brad: You're right, Alicia. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that. *turns around, the shirt he's wearing says 'Brad Told You So' on the back*
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Jonas Corbin, Chloe Seaver, Alicia Ramsey, Brad Thompson)
Brad: Why are your tongues purple?
Jonas: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
Kiera: I had a red one.
Brad: Oh.
Brad: …
Brad: OH.
Chloe: …
Chloe: You drank each other's slushies?
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Brad Thompson, Jonas Corbin, Kiera Bernhardt, Chloe Seaver)
Valerie: While I’m gone, Mark, you’re in charge.
Mark: Yes!!!
Valerie, whispering: Justin, you’re secretly in charge.
Justin: Obviously.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Valerie Seaver, Mark Seaver, Justin Seaver)
Jonas: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Adrian: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Karin isn’t.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Jonas Corbin, Adrian Bernhardt)
Mark: Chloe, keep an eye on Jonas today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Chloe: Sure, I’d love to see Jonas get punched.
Mark: Try again.
Chloe, sighing: I will stop Jonas from getting punched.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Mark Seaver, Chloe Seaver)
Chloe: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Nate: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Alicia: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Brad: I have a piece of graphite in my leg from accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Kiera: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Jonas: …
Jonas: I have emotional scars.
(Source: Incorrect Quotes Generator)
(Chloe Seaver, Nate Kellerman, Alicia Ramsey, Brad Thompson, Kiera Bernhardt, Jonas Corbin)
#long post#really long post#don't click the read more if you don't have time to spare#incorrect quotes#jonas corbin's guide to life#jcgtl#my ocs
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Fact or Fiction
Warnings: non-consent (fingering, toys, anal, vaginal, somniphilia)
This is dark!Ransom and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your publisher has died and now you must deal with new management
Note: This came to me out of no where but it was a ride yall. I wanted to write some somniphilia so get ready for some sleep action. Remember to read the warnings my guys and enjoy yourselves. Another double dick fic day.
Sidenote: it is a bit odd to write smut when your bf is listening to barenaked ladies lol
Thank you. Love you guys!
Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
It was funny how things could change in such a short time. More often, it was tragic. Deep in your gut, you had the feeling this change would be the latter.
You stood in the elevator, counting the floors in dread. A month ago, you felt much differently on your ascent. That was a day full of hope. A young writer on your way to meet THE Harlan Thrombey, manuscript in hand. You’d left even more jubilant than you arrived. He loved it and hadn’t shied away from saying so.
Now he was dead and you feared so too were your hopes of a published book. This day you were to meet with another Thrombey. Ransom Drysdale, his grandson, had inherited the company to the surprise and chagrin of many, including his very own uncle.
You couldn’t disagree with Walt. Everyone, especially him, expected him to take Harlan’s place. But he didn’t and he was gone now, buried in resent and jealousy. None had seen him since the funeral. Or so you heard. The publishing business could be almost as dramatic as its fictions.
Top floor, you stepped out and were surprised to find that Deb, the former grey-haired receptionist, had been replaced with another. Younger, blonder, and more concerned with her cellphone than the ding of the elevator. You walked up to her round desk and waited for her to look up. She didn’t.
You cleared your throat.
“Hello, I have a one o’clock with Mr. Drysdale,” You said. She nodded and giggled at her phone. “Excuse me…” You looked around and found a rose gold name placard. “...Selina.”
“Fine, go on,” She shrugged. “No one’s in there. Knock first.”
You sighed and glanced around. There were a few editors you recognized from before and they peered over at the receptionist with open detest. You passed her perch and wove between the desks. You assumed, knowing you wouldn’t get an answer from the oblivious blonde, that Ransom had claimed his grandfather’s former office. The letters printed across the clear glass door assured you. That was new too.
You knocked on the frame, afraid to shatter the door. Ransom was squinting at his monitor and didn’t even look over as he waved you on and called to you.
“Come in.” He shook his head as he huffed at the screen. You entered nervously. “What is it this time?”
“Mr. Drysdale,” You greeted, “I’m here for our appointment.”
His brows drew together as he looked up. He hit a key and turned to you. He sat back in his leather chair as he leaned on the arm.
“Uh, yeah,” He blinked as he lazily reached over and grabbed a manuscript from the pile atop his desk. “Laura?”
You corrected him and he fished out the proper print and sat up. He opened it but didn’t even pretend to read a single word on the page. He smiled as he shifted closer to his desk.
“Close the door,” He said. “Sit. This shouldn’t take long.”
That didn’t sound good. You did as he said and took the stiff seat across from him. The former cozy leather had been replaced with cold acrylic. He tapped his fingers on the pages and ran his tongue beneath his bottom lip.
“Well, seeing as we’re doing a bit of redecorating around here, we decided to do the same with our writers. Streamline, prioritize,” He began. “My grandfather was a smart man, talented author, but he valued ‘style’ too much over ‘marketability’.”
Your chest tightened and you tried not to show your discomfort.
“Of course,” You said. “It makes sense. New owner, new directions. I understand.”
“Oh, great,” He smirked. “Then you also understand that the contract my grandfather, god rest his soul, promised you, must be reviewed before we go through with the signing?”
“Review?” You frowned.
“It’s the same for all our new writers,” He assured you. “My editors are combing over every word of your manuscript before we throw the ledger across the table.”
“He already read my manuscript, your editors too. I don’t--”
“He’s dead and most of his editors are gone or have taken on new responsibilities,” He interjected. “As you said, new directions.”
“Alright.” You sighed. “And so when will I be informed of the results of this review?”
He tilted his head, amused by your tone as he leaned back once more. He grabbed a pen and tapped it on his lip as he thought.
“Couple weeks.” He said.
“A couple weeks? I’ve already waited over a month for a contract. Now I get the circumstances required it, as tragic as they were, but with all due respect, your offer isn’t the only one I have on this manuscript.” You argued.
“Lesser publishers, no doubt, but you understand that under our submissions guidelines, you cannot accept an exterior deal until we have made an official decision.” He countered. “So, you can wait the three weeks before you march down to Penguin or whatever lowbrow manufacturer you’ve been talking with.”
You stared at him. He was very much unlike his grandfather. Harlan, for all his accomplishments, had an air of humility. Ransom, for all he hadn’t achieved, was entirely arrogant.
“So, you’re holding my book hostage?” You asked.
“I’m allowing you an opportunity provided you have patience,” He returned. “I could say no right now and send you out without a hope of ever signing with us.”
The curve of his lips irked you, along with the loose weave of his sweater. He didn’t dress like the owner of a publishing house; he dressed like a spoiled frat boy. You were quiet as you thought about the much lower offer from Charter books. Modest but respectable. And there were many companies who you had yet to approach.
You stood suddenly and marched over to his desk. You reached over and slid your manuscript across the desk and closed it. You gathered it up and tucked it under your arm.
“I’ll take the no over your games, Mr. Drysdale.” You said as your heart beat wildly. This was either a moment you’d deeply regret or gloriously relive. “I hardly see how sitting on a stack of books will help your profitability.”
He blinked and his smirk fell. Then he scoffed and tossed his pen down.
“Well, you sure are saving me a lot of work,” He mused. “One less pile of kindling hanging around will save my editors hours.”
“Mr. Drysdale,” You said as you backed away from him “I may not have inherited an empire but I think I can see as clear as any that you are out of your depth behind that desk.”
A glimmer of anger broke through his facade and his jaw ticked. He was quick to reclaim his maddening smirk and he shrugged.
“You’re right,” He remarked. “You’re just a writer. Unpublished, at that.”
You nodded and swallowed the insult. You spun and swept back through the door, certain to leave it open. You strode past the reception as she watched some Insta story on a new eye shadow palette. Even Harlan’s name couldn’t atone for buffoonery.
🖊️
Charter Books wasn’t far from Blood Like Wine Publishing. For the second time that week, you were in the heart of the business district. You were tired of waiting. If Charter wanted to publish your work without fanfare, you would take it over waiting on a whim.
Charles Halford was expecting you and as was your habit, you were early. The building didn’t bring you the same joy as Blood Like Wine had, though now that you thought of it, any such optimism had disappeared. You would settle and hope that this was a back road to a mighty second book. If your luck was to take an upturn, it might even be a sleeper hit.
You were directed to sit along the small line of chairs outside Halford’s office. You balanced your manuscript on your knee as you waited. You fidgeted impatiently and hoped the offer was still open. The email had seemed hopeful and that a meeting was scheduled on such short notice was heartening.
You looked up as the door finally opened. Your heart dropped at the man who stepped out. Ransom’s eyes caught yours as he turned back to Halford and tossed some quip at him. His forced laughter turned your stomach. The men were chummy; too chummy. Was this foreshadowing?
“Anyway, I should get back to it,” Ransom announced. “Figured I’d swing by. Get a few pointers.”
“I’m sure you’ll be back for more,” Charles boomed. “Remember, left to right.”
Ransom rolled his eyes and shook Halford’s hand. He turned and winked at you as he left, a cheery farewell to the receptionist. Halford perked up as he noticed you and distracted you from the unease that bubbled in your stomach.
“Early as always,” He said. “Come on in. We’ll get started.”
“Thanks,” You stood and he gestured you ahead of him.
You entered his office and waited for him to sit before you did. He dug around for his copy of your manuscript and turned back to you. He didn’t open it as he plopped it on his desk.
“So, you’re still looking for a buyer, huh?” He asked.
“Well, you know there’s so many options,” You said. “I wanted to go somewhere my book fits.”
“Of course, and it’s a great concept,” He replied. “Really… but…”
“But…” You took a breath.
“Well, you know, we’ve had time to think too and we’re more akin to easy reads. Our clientele, they want something simple, straightforward. You have clever prose and intricate devices but… well, that’s not really who we’re selling to.”
“I don’t understand,” You said. “What changed? You made an offer and suddenly it’s just… gone?”
“Look, there’s lot of publishers out there who would be a better match I’m sure and in this era, self-publishing is growing.”
“A publishing house suggesting self-publishing?” You shook your head and stood. You were numb. “I can read between the lines as well as you can, Mr. Halford. Thank you for considering me. I won’t waste your time if you’ve made up your mind.”
“Hey,” He rose and reached across the desk. “There’s always the next book. Maybe one day, we’ll have a chance to work together.”
“I hope so,” You said as you swallowed the bitterness. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out this time,” He said.
“It’s… business.” You sniffed. “I get it.”
🖊️
Charter, Storey, Hackett. Every no made the prospect of a yes even less likely. Your future stared back at you with paid online articles and ridiculous blurbs. It was a living, a meagre one, but it wasn’t your dream. It was starting to seem like a nightmare.
Another rejection and you were ready to burn the damn manuscript. You marched into the lobby that fronted Lucian LLC. You just wanted to go home but if you did that, you’d just sit and sulk as you had for days before. So instead you followed the scent of roasted beans into the coffee shop along the east side of the lobby.
You ordered a skinny latte and found a table in the corner. You dropped the heavy print on the table before you set down your stemmed mug and flopped onto the chair. You leaned your elbows on the table and rubbed your forehead. A cup clinked across from yours and you sat up, startled by the figure before you.
“Long day?” Ransom asked.
You looked around confused.
“What?” You replied. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I was walking by actually and I saw you through the window. Almost didn’t recognize you but… you look… tired.” He smirked and you rolled your eyes. “And I saw that manuscript in front of you and thought maybe we could have another chat.”
“I don’t want to talk about you reviewing my book until you decide you don’t want it,” You hissed.
“Okay, well, what if I told you we could have a yes or no by the end of our discussion, hmm?”
You squinted at him and ran your fingertips down the side of the hot mug.
“Why?”
“Why?” He repeated coyly.
“What changed your mind?”
“Look, can I help it that I feel a little bad about how it all turned out? Seeing you here, sulking, it really got to me.” He feigned pity.
“I wasn’t sulking,” You insisted. “I was taking a breather between all my meetings. There’s a lot of interest over my book.”
“Is there?” He pulled out the chair opposite you and sat. “Because I made a few calls and I’m pretty sure there isn’t.”
“You what?”
“A lot of people don’t wanna snatch a book out from under the Thrombey stamp,” He explained. “And as far as I’m concerned, we didn’t finish our negotiations.”
You chewed the inside of your lip and considered him. There was a twinkle in his eye. This man would make himself the bane of your existence until he could declare himself the victor. As it was, he might actually be the only prospect you had left.
“Fine. I guess I’m here already. If you want to talk, let’s talk,” You said.
His eyes sparked as they had back in his office.
“Alright,” He began tersely, “May I?”
He pointed to your manuscript and you slowly slid it over to him. He turned it and opened it. He bent over it dramatically as he read. You waited as he glossed over a few pages and sat up.
“Promising. I said so to the editors but you understand that it’s not all up to me.” He said. “It’s not that I don’t wanna publish you, I’m just being cautious. This company is my legacy.”
“It’s your grandfather’s legacy,” You affirmed.
He bit his tongue and blinked. He took a breath before he continued.
“Whatever,” He said. “It is my company now and I have to keep it alive. That means making smart decisions. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I’m just a writer.” You shrugged.
He sighed and reached for his mug. He dribbled a little down his chin and onto his blazer. He swore as he looked down and set his cup back on the table.
“Could you grab some napkins?” He asked. “Shit.”
“Napkins?” You repeated. You knew he was the type to have help but you were not looking to be his nanny.
“Please,” He said sharply as he held up his wet hand. “If you don’t mind.”
You slid out of your chair and grumbled as you crossed the cafe. You pulled out a dozen serviettes from the dispenser and returned to him. You dropped them on the manuscript and he grabbed them impatiently. He wiped up the coffee and left the napkins crumpled beside his cup.
You lifted your own, the foam entirely flat now, and took a sip. The espresso was strong and your cheek twitched. You set it down as you tried not to cough. The caffeine further addled your nerves.
“So what exactly are you offering?” You asked.
“I went over my grandfather’s notes and spoke with my team. It wasn’t all impractical. We can honour the printing terms but may have to tinker with the numbers…” He began and you nodded.
You listened intently as he went over his points and referred to your manuscript several times, flipping pages back and forth. He suggested a sex scene to liven it up but that didn’t really fit the motif of a medieval mystery set in a monastery. That disagreement didn’t last long as he plowed through his terms.
As you listened, you sipped and your head began to ache from the excess of caffeine. Three coffees a day would do that to you. Your stomach flurried as well and you found it increasingly difficult to concentrate. You left the dregs of your latte untouched and touched your stomach.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Drysdale…”
“Ransom,” He corrected.
“Sorry but… uh, I don’t feel very well.” You said. “I think… I hate to do this but I think maybe we should reschedule.”
“Well, there’s not much else to say. I’m sure you could give me an answer before you race off.” He stood as you did.
You leaned heavily on the table and grabbed your manuscript. You took your bag and groaned.
“Really, I feel… sick.” You said. “I gotta go.”
“Wait, wait,” He followed as you stumbled past him. You weren’t sure what was happening. Maybe it was the leftovers you ate for dinner last night. “You okay?”
“F-fine,” You shook your head to ward off the haze at the edge of your vision. You checked your phone. “Look, I gotta catch the bus.”
“You sure you can handle that?” He was overly concerned for a man who had as good as laughed you out of your office. “I can drive you.”
“Why would you do that?” You stopped just outside the building.
“Because you’re sweating a lot and I think it’d be a lot quicker to drive than to wait around for transit,” He said. “But hey, your call.”
You stared at him and your head pulsed. You touched your forehead and nodded. “S-sure,” You accepted. “Thanks.”
“Hey, we’ll just take it out of your final offer,” He kidded.
🖊️
Ransom
She barely buckled her seat belt before she was out. She slumped in the seat and thumped against the door at the first corner. Ransom hadn’t expected it to take effect so soon but she had downed her latte quickly.
When she got up to grab the napkins, he sprinkled the foam with the powder and quickly sat back. The idea hadn’t occurred to him until he spotted her through the glass. The drugging, that was. The thought of what he would do to her had played over in his mind since their first meeting. He couldn’t just let a writer walk all over him like that. He was in charge now.
He glanced over at her as he pulled up his long drive. She was still out like a light. He had to admit, she wasn’t a great beauty but she had a charm about her. And she was perfect to test out his toys on.
He got out and rounded the car. He opened her door and undid her seatbelt. Her bag and manuscript flopped onto the floor as he lifted her. He closed the door with his foot and carried her up the short walk. She was entirely limp. Completely helpless. He smiled.
He took her to the basement. It had taken more than a year but it was finally ready. Oh and what timing. It was like she was sent to him, just asking for punishment. Her trite little mouth had earned her more than a place on the scholarly blacklist. He had to make sure she paid.
He set her down on the velvet couch and undressed her a piece at a time. He fondled her chest as he bared it and sucked on her nipples just a little. She didn’t move at all. He checked her breathing and carried on.
When she was naked, he played with her cunt. Spread her legs and poked his fingers inside as he looked her over. She was so tight his cock throbbed at the thought of her walls around him.
He lifted her from the couch and carried her to the special contraption he’d designed himself. He laid her over it on her stomach. The angled board had her ass raised and her legs dangling off the end. He secured her wrists and ankles with the straps to keep her from slipping. He wasn’t worried about resistance.
He moved her hips just slightly and reached under her to spread her pussy. He positioned her clit against the little bump beneath the leather. He took the remote in hand and turned the vibe on. The buzz filled the room and he watched her cunt quiver. He dragged his fingers along it and felt her arousal. She came within minutes.
He walked around her as he thought of what to do to her next. He wheeled over the machine in the corner. He carefully lined up the dildo with her pussy. He pushed it inside of her an inch at a time. He made her take all of it; a whole eight inches of rubber. She didn’t flinch though her breath shuddered.
He neared her side and lifted her eyelid. He only saw the white as she remained entirely unaware. He rubbed himself through his jeans and turned the vibe up and hit the button for the machine. The dildo moved in and out of her as the device whirred quietly. Her cunt made wet sounds as she was fucked helplessly.
He went behind her and watched it go in and out. He dialed it up just a little, her body jolting a little from each thrust. He tucked the remote in his pocket and strolled close to her head. He undid his pants and pulled his throbbing dick out. He rubbed it against her lips and smeared his pre-cum around her mouth.
He delved inside as he glanced back to the dildo. He held her head in one hand as his other dove into his pocket and increased the speed yet again. He began to rock his hips and soon kept time with the rubber. He sank so deep into her throat that she choked and her body spasmed. Still she didn’t wake and he could barely stop himself from cumming.
He pulled his cock out of her mouth and a trail of spit dribbled from her lips. He went to the machine and removed it from her glistening cunt. The leather-bound board was soaked with her cum already. It sent a thrill through him and his cock twitched. He growled and turned away as he resisted the urge to fuck her right away.
He went to the chest of drawers and opened it. He pulled out a bottle of lube and clear glass plug. He should start small, he told himself, but he wanted to see her stretch for him. He wanted her to feel him tomorrow.
He crossed to her and squirted the lube between her cheeks. He massaged it over her hole and mixed it with her natural juices. She was so wet he wasn’t sure he even needed the lube. He dipped his fingers inside her pussy a few times before he returned his attention to her ass.
He poked his index finger inside of her. She definitely was unused. He played with her and added another finger and then a third. She quivered as the vibe had her cumming yet again. He peeked up at her to make sure once more that she was still asleep. He didn’t need to be so paranoid. The pills would even have him out for the count.
He pulled his fingers from her ass and positioned the plug against her tight ring. He began slowly, pressing it just until she began to open and then retreating. He paused as he reached to stroke himself. He was so hard it hurt.
He kept on, each time her hole gaped just a little more around the plug. At its widest breadth, he heard a sleepy grumble escape her. He pushed it just a little more and it slipped in all the way. Her ring closed around its stem and he thought he would cum just at that sight.
He shuddered and calmed himself. He grabbed his cock and tapped the tip against the flat end of the plug. He guided it down along her folds and felt the vibration ripple through him as he brushed against the hidden vibe. He angled himself up to her entrance and held himself there.
He wiggled the plug and slammed into her as hard as he could. Her legs jolted and he thrust again with just as much force. He wanted her to feel it, even in her subconscious. He wanted her to suffer. He picked up a rhythm, violent and frantic as her cunt clung to him. She came and he grunted as he fought to restrain his own climax.
He gripped the plug and pulled it out slowly only to press it back in. He did it again and again as he fucked her. His heavy breaths swirled around him as he watched her asshole gape. He was on fire, desperate for release.
He stopped and removed the plug entirely. He held it by the stem and held it against her back as he slipped his cock out of her cunt. He eagerly entered her ass with a rumble. She was still so fucking tight. He lost it. He fucked her so hard, his special toy shook beneath her.
His voice got louder and louder as he every thrust sent a ripple through him. He snarled and pulled out suddenly. He stroked his cock as he rubbed the tip along her ass and spilled himself down her thigh. He would have to wait to cum inside her.
He let out a shaky breath as he let go of his cock. He pushed the plug into her ass again and backed away. He left the vibe on as he paced around the room and cracked his neck. A couple minutes and he’d be ready for another go. Maybe he could cum in her mouth this time. That was easy enough to clean up.
🖊️
You awoke with a start. You sat up on your couch and looked around your empty apartment. You winced as you felt an ache in your ass; your cunt too. You hissed and touched yourself gingerly. You glanced down; you wore the same clothes and there was nothing amiss but the thrum in your core.
You shook your head and rubbed your eyes. You could barely remember leaving the cafe but how had you ended up back here? You only remembered the headache and the horrible stomach ache.
You reached for your phone and found several notifications across the lock screen. Foremost was the email from Blood Like Wine Publishing. You opened it and quickly read through it.
‘...I am excited to work with you on your first novel and the company is eager to see this through to its greatest potential.
Hope you feel better and look forward to our meeting next Wednesday,
Ransom Drysdale
Editor-in-Chief
Blood and Wine Publishing’
You stare at the email in confusion. Had you said yes? Ransom offered you a drive home… then it was all black but you must’ve come to some agreement. You must have found your way into your apartment and passed out on the couch. So why didn’t you remember any of that?
#ransom drysdale#dark!ransom drysdale#dark ransom drysdale#dark!ransom drysdale x reader#ransom drysdale x reader#dark ransom drysdale x reader#knives out#dark fic#dark!fic#au#fic#one shot
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For the ask meme: Reggie
favorite thing about them: Everything? Honestly I just adore Reggie, he's the bouncy bright ball of sunshine and I want him to have all the good things in life. He cares so deeply about his friends, and I bet you he gives the best hugs.
least favorite thing about them: That he doesn't have as much development as everyone else? Give us Reggie's hidden depths Kenny, so maybe then people will stop writing him off as the dumb spare.
favorite line: Oh god, only one? I gotta go with the classic "But we're not alone, 'cause we always have each other."
brOTP: Reggie and Ray, I so want them to have fun father/son adventures together, bond over cameras, and have deep heart to hearts with each other.
OTP: So you all know I love me Reggie/Julie/Luke, but I like Reggie with either one of them one on one if the OT3 isn't an option
nOTP: Reggie and Bobby, I'm sorry, I just...don't see it.
random headcanon: Reggie is actually really smart, loves books and reading, picks up instruments easily, but since he never tested well, and had no real support system outside the band, has no real idea of how smart and talented he really is
unpopular opinion: Reggie struggles with his sexuality/neurodivergency/history with his parents but is also really bad about sharing his troubles, and keeps them bottled up, not wanting to bother anyone, the boy has self-esteem issues as a middle name
song i associate with them: See I always suck at this question, but I think the song What A Good Boy by Barenaked Ladies would be a good fit, maybe as one he would sing to Julie
favorite picture of them: I know it's a GIF, but goddamn if I will not swoon over this fucking hair flip from now until eternity
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charlotte/twu, alex/supergirl, ava/hacks :)
Ooh thanks :)
Charlotte, TWU:
My favorite thing about them: she's honest about what she wants and what she's feeling! I hate that forced conflict where one character is going along thinking everything is fine bc the other one isn't saying anything or showing any signs, and so it was awesome to see Shona being like "you're in a snit" and pushing just for half a second, and Charlotte being like hell yes I am! Here are all the reasons why!
My least favorite thing about them: that we don't see enough of her! But canonically, it's that she told Freddie about Aine. I'm sure she had reasons for assuming he already knew and wasn't bringing it up as gossip or something shitty, but it's one of those moments it's been good to see fic writers deal with
My favorite canon relationship: her and Shona
My favorite non-canon relationship: a healthy future version of her and Shona haha! Also, I haven't actually gotten to read any of the fics yet, BUT I'm intrigued by the concept of her and Aine
The sexuality I headcanon for them: lesbian
What I’d do if I could spend the day with them: oh to be super boring, I'd love to just like...go for a walk and go out to eat and then chill at her apartment. She and Shona always seemed to have such an easy time falling into conversation--and that really good kind of conversation, not the stilted awkward shit that's painful to sit through--and I feel like she'd have an apartment that is both cozy but also very neat (and filled with plants that she has managed to keep alive! RIP my succulents)
Random fact about them I like: I love that she was totally willing to be open and honest about mental health struggles and therapy and the way that made space for Shona to be able to talk about her own fears with Aine. Also that she, too, doomscrolls through Twitter
Alex, Supergirl:
My favorite thing about them: how deeply she cares for and about Kara! We get to see times and places where that wasn't the case (when she first landed and a few moments later on where past resentments flare up), but even when things weren't great, I never doubted that she'd be there for Kara in a heartbeat
My least favorite thing about them: avoiding stuff that seemed more the result of shitty writing and not as in keeping with the character, I'll go with those moments where she assumes there's only one way to fix something or do something and that she knows it (and that to communicate it or talk about it with others would be unproductive). We see her doing it at work and in her relationships a few times, and it's an understandable flaw, but oof it leads to so many moments where you just want to bang your head against a desk
My favorite canon relationship: she and Maggie were the ship that brought me into fandom (and Maggie had a story very similar to my wife's, so it was one that resonated deeply in a way that not a lot had before). I stopped watching the show when I moved halfway across the country (I fell behind on literally everything I was watching lol), but the scenes I've caught of her with Kelly seem cute, too
My favorite non-canon relationship: General Danvers - they were one of the main pairings in some of the first fics I read (ever! I came really late to fandom!) along with Supercat. (In the true rare pair part of my heart, I also have a real soft spot for Alex and Cat as a very prickly pairing)
The sexuality I headcanon for them: lesbian (I'll go with the show there)
What I’d do if I could spend the day with them: I'd take Alex rock climbing! I think she'd be good at it and enjoy it. Plus, I think she'd be slower to warm into conversation with a stranger, but someone's hardly a stranger once they've literally held your life in their hands on the other end of a belay rope!
Random fact about them I like: that she unironically loves the barenaked ladies
Ava, Hacks: answered this one here!
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playlist meme
Rules: we’re snooping on your playlist. put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first ten songs and then choose 10 victims! Tagged by @lodessa thanks this was so fun!
Keeping these tweaks:
Pulling from my On Repeat list (songs I love right now, they say) on Spotify.
Adding my favorite lyrics and what project character/ship it's related to
Linking to YouTube/Spotify
This was so fun, but actually pretty difficult trying to tie lyrics to fandoms. Most of these songs appear to be about breakups/moving on/healing etc. which makes it hard to connect to ships lol. Also this playlist lowkey exposes my recent One Direction phase, but eh what can you do? I’m coping through excess nostalgia at the moment.
1. La de Da de Da de Da de Day Oh - Bill Wurtz
“I don’t have enough time / to say the things I wanna say / to do the things I wanna do / or to be like you”
(I had a lot of trouble with this one, but very loosely maybe the movie Celeste and Jesse Forever. Since they’re sad about their breakup, but also it’s something they know they want and need to do? The music doesn’t really fit the vibe, but the lyrics do.)
2. Vitamins - Adam Neely and Ben Levin
“And in the summer I’m blazing like lightning / And in the summer I know that winter’s already coming / And somehow I invite it”
(Maybe for this one we take it all the way back to one of my OG obsessions The Heroes of Olympus. I feel like these lyrics could fit with the character of Leo Valdez, and also the “winter’s coming” has a fairly ominous world-is-ending type-feeling. Also Leo can quite literally blaze because he can summon fire)
3. Kill My Mind - Louis Tomlinson
“You kill my mind / Raise my body back to life / And I don’t know what I’d do without you now”
(Dare I say Spuffy? Season 6 era? Raising bodies from the dead and all that. It actually fits so well.)
4. Good Day - Twenty One Pilots
“I’m all right / Would you say you depend on the weather? / My sunshine / is a buzz and a light, I’ll be singing out / I know it’s hard to believe / It’s a good day”
(You know what? I feel like this is a perfect song for Ted Lasso. Relentless optimism in the face of, and because of, sadness)
5. To Begin Again - Ingrid Michaelson ft. ZAYN
“When the world was ending / we’d hold onto to the past / ‘cause it’s all we thought that we would ever see / But then the sun came right back / And the birds sang as if nothing had happened”
(Mostly I associate this song with my own life, and the world these past years, but I think it also fits wonderfully for post-prison Jake and Amy in Brooklyn Nine Nine)
6. Hardline - Julien Baker
“Start asking forgiveness in advance / for all the future things I will destroy / That way I can ruin everything / When I do, you don’t get to act surprised / When it finally gets to be too much”
(This song screams Nick Miller from New Girl to me: “I’ve got something bad inside of me. I ruin things”)
7. History - One Direction
“You and me got a whole lot of history / We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen / You and me got a whole lot of history / So don’t let it go, we can make some more / We can live forever”
(This is a Logan/Veronica “I thought our love was epic” breakup song, imo)
8. Odds - MUTEMATH
“I know it’s hard to say / Throw it all away / But the odds are / We’ll be better off / And it’s a painful thought / To try another start / But the odds are / We’ll be better off”
(I think this fits nicely with the movie The Half of It).
9. Flip - Barenaked Ladies
“Look at the stars / Some of them are long gone / And yet there they are”
(I’m gonna say very loosely Community, because the lyrics to this song are a little goofy but the thesis of it is moving on and growing and healing, I think, and that fits perfectly with Community)
10. See the Day - The Altogether
“The sun is rising up half the way / I never thought I’d see the day / The moon is crumbling but that’s okay / I never thought I’d see the day”
(Maybe the ending scene of Bojack Horseman? I feel like this song would fit well. Melancholy. Things are ending. But things have the potential to get better, too).
tagging from my recents: @suspended-in-gaffa @momentofmemory @dolston17 @b99peraltiago @zephsthings @1mechanicalalligator @arnies-bitch @impossiblehazelnut @sian-jpg
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Fanmixes: Yr Fvr Mst Obt Svt
So, y’all... I’ve been sitting on this idea for a long time but I finally did it! My William Laurence/Tenzing Tharkay fanmix is now up! Tried to get it up on 8tracks but that didn’t work out, so it’s just on Spotify. It’s called Yr Fvr Mst Obt Svt, under the same name as my Tumblr user (mx-myth), and I hope you like it!
You can find it here!
More information below the cut!
I know the track lists are probably hard to read because I chose a super-fancy cursive font (because let’s be real, no one can read Laurence’s fancy gentleman handwriting except himself and Tharkay (and I would say Temeraire, but he can’t read it that small, but he knows what it looks like from their days aboard the Reliant)) so here (tracks are subject to change):
01. What Is This Feeling? - From "Wicked" Original Broadway Cast Recording/2003 (Stephen Schwartz, Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Stephen Oremus, Alex Lacamoire)
Notes: inspired by this post by @incorrect-temeraire-quotes; when I first heard this song I heard the cover by Austin Nebbia, but as Spotify is Like That I went with the Wicked version (I didn’t know this song was from Wicked! I’ve read the book but haven’t seen the musical)
02. Take Me Anywhere (Tegan and Sara)
Notes: They literally travel around the world.
03. Stray Italian Greyhound (Vienna Teng)
Notes: Tharkay, showing up again: Can’t you just stay still and keep out of trouble
04. Do You Want Me (Dead?) (All Time Low)
Notes: Black Powder War, A Summary
05. Next Year (Two Door Cinema Club)
Notes: Tharkay, on one of his missions: *thinking about Laurence*
06. Come Back Home (Two Door Cinema Club)
Notes: Laurence and Tharkay both, Tharkay leaving again and Laurence trying to convince him to stay
07. Iris (The Goo Goo Dolls)
Notes: Every and any Laurence and Tharkay heart-to-heart and snap-out-of-it and stay-with-me
08. My Best Friend's Hot (The Dollyrots)
Notes: Tharkay (and Granby), upon seeing Laurence for the first time: Oh NO
09. One Week (Barenaked Ladies)
Notes: Laurence and Tharkay’s lovers spat
10. Time-Bomb (All Time Low)
Notes: Them, pre-sewers: I would gut you given HALF A CHANCE, NO HESITATION; Them, post-sewers: YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME NOW, WE’RE MARRIED
11. Do I Wanna Know? (Arctic Monkeys)
Notes: Tharkay, staring at Laurence: Oh no. I love him.
12. I Would Do Anything For You (Foster the People)
Notes: Tharkay: TWENTY DRAGONS. IT WAS ONLY TWENTY DRAGONS. HOW DID IT COME TO THIS. Laurence: :)
13. Miss You (Foster the People)
Notes: Laurence, while Tharkay is gone: *thinks about Tharkay*
14. This Is the Life (Two Door Cinema Club)
Notes: Laurence and Tharkay, happily living with Temeraire after Everything Has Gone Down
15. Bye Bye Bye (*NSYNC)
Notes: Laurence, simutaneously: *bi panic* *also Disaster Bi Dad™*
16. Brunettes (Do It Better) (KIDFORCE)
Notes: Honestly, this is a last minute decision I put in just for kicks. But Laurence and Tharkay are BOTH troublemakers :)
17. History Hates Loves (Oublaire) (added January 5, 2022)
Notes: My friend got me HOOKED on this song, gives me history looking back on Laurence/Tharkay vibes and also firstprince emailing vibes. See also: https://tanoraqui.tumblr.com/post/188592027832/the-fact-is-even-if-laurence-is-tragically and also https://political-dragon.tumblr.com/post/177592376015/owlsundermybed-considering-how-controversial
I also stuck a bunch of things on the cover! You’ve got the love letter, which has the title of the fanmix (contents of love letter below), Laurence’s trusty compass, an inkwell, a world map, keys, black pearls (for Temeraire), and (!) two gold rings (because they’re married) on a dark wood desk. (Image descriptions below)
Love letter:
Tenzing -
We have been getting on well enough, thank you, though not spectacularly, I must point out. Temeraire has taken to asking each day when you shall return, and each day, I regret to say, I must answer him that I do not know.
Oh, I am not even afraid to say this anymore: damn the brass! If only you could return to us at once, with haste; I confess I am getting quite lonely here. The manor has too many rooms, and they are all so empty without you. Temeraire's company has taken the edge off my longing for you, but there is only so long one can listen to politics! If only you were here to explain what this meant or what that could be interpreted as, I am sure it would not be so dull or boring.
I miss you, my darling, and for those few words I would hang; and yet I would do it, for I would not hide my love for you from the world.
With all my love,
William Laurence
[Image descriptions:
An aerial view of a desk made of dark wood. Part of a love letter can be seen in the top left corner; it is written in fancy cursive font and the title of the fanmix, Yr Fvr Mst Obt Svt, is written below. There is an inkwell in the top right corner, and an old world map from the right side. There is a compass below the love letter. In the bottom left corner there are five black pearls. In the bottom center there are a few old skeleton keys, and in the bottom right corner are two gold rings, presumably Laurence and Tharkay’s.
An aerial view of a desk made of wood. There is old paper reaching from the top and over the bottom; fancy cursive is written on it detailing the track list. This continues onto the third and last image, where the fanmix name is written out on the bottom once more. There is a coffee cup stain on the last image.]
#Temeraire Series#temeraire book series#william laurence#tenzing tharkay#william laurence/tenzing tharkay#fanmix#fanmixes#spotify#naomi novik#love letter#i'm not going to tag anything else#or else it'll get too confusing
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loolin sent me down a rabbit hole so here are some thoughts from my escapades tonight:
---first blog entry i read---
i started here which took me here which took me here
‘ whiteboy rap ‘
‘ like the barenaked ladies meets mid-era beatles, yet it didn't sound imitated at all ‘
guster did come on, and they were fine [though, in my opinion, tally hall severely outshone them] << OHHH SHIT
the four of us gathered around the 'hot sexy one' and took pictures (this is one of the pictures theyre talking about:
anyone remember ‘appeal sex’ ??
‘i went off to find the yellow tie, rob. he was my favorite from when i first saw him on stage. whereas joe was dark and handsome with long tossled hair, rob had glasses and a bland haircut. i felt an affinity with him.’ SFHSLFKJSD ME TOO MAN
apparently the tie colors initially matched their instruments!! although, ive heard like. six different sotries of how they chose the ties and most of them are just ‘we chose whatever was avalible at the time’ so i have a feeling they came up with a few different elaborate backsotries
----okay second blog post reading time---
i started here which took me here (aka the one right before the one before this its confusing but thats alright)
if only adobe flash player still worked then i’d be able to watch this person’s filming of a be born performance that was apparently so close to her that rob sat on her foot!!! at least we still get this picture of it though:
incredible.
“I especially liked Ross' face as he drummed: he looked so happy and his hair was flying everywhere. “ ya this lady gets it
quote rob, "Yeah! I remember you guys! That was a great picture, Let's do it again!" this time because their friend stephan couldnt make it to the picture, rob improvised:
this time with zubin!
and then they did it again at yet another concert:
this time with ross !!
“ Ten reasons I like Tally Hall so much?
1-Clean, creative music: My mom even likes them!
2-Musicianship: they are incredibly musically talented--amazingly tight harmonies--which sounds silly considering they're a band, but it's shocking how many artists are out there these days with not a lick of real talent.
3-Variety: with some of their songs, if you were to randomly listen to two or three different parts of the song, chances are you might just think it's a couple different songs. Then they have totally crazy songs, then super chill songs.
4-Uniform: they don't need retro sequin jackets or skinny pants to be cool. They have their own style, and it has become their trademark.
5-They share: Their shows aren't monopolized by just one band member. They all have little spotlights and recognize everyone as a part of the whole (or, the Hall).
6-The guys: SO personable. I love just talking to them--they are so chill, and don't stick themselves up on a pedestal. They are just normal guys who happen to travel everywhere and do what they love, and do it well.
7-Bongos, xylophones, and other various percussion instruments (the names of which still elude me)
8-Their frequent use of a megaphone.
9-Whiteboy rap? Heck yes. And whistling solos.
10-They like to kick it at the university, but all work and no play makes them crazy, so...they jump in the bumpin SUV. “
okay theres a part on the side of this blog that says it cannot be used or reproduced without consent except i think the person who wrote it is like. an adult now. and also,,,, who am i expecting this post to reach? however, kristin, if you’re reading this somehow and want me to take it down i’ll be happy to do so. because (to paraphrase a tally hall legend) you, yes you, are the bon-diggety.
-----third post time---
i started here which took me here
“ there was even a small "shrine" to the band itself in the back corner of the room. “ <sound familiar, anyone???????
“tally hall would play at your school if your principal was cool with the idea.“ I LIVE 2 DREAM ANOTHER DAY HUH
oh okay so that was just a . precursor to the production of the actual elementary show i see i seeeee..
in that case, then
---fourth post time, aka the one i was originally reading but i have following-every-link- syndrome so here we are---
i started here , theres 4 parts to this article
“ (+20 ‘awesome’ points if you read both links…if you comment that you did, maybe i’ll draw you a picture!) “ <..can i get a picture slfjsd
okay this is just a HITS article so im not gonna liveblog it cause u can read it urself!! everything i would have copy/pasted here is readily avalible there so . ya
omygosh they went on stage at first with fake mustaches on..so the kids couldnt tell who they were....
okay well this was a lot less that i probably originally meant to write, but i saved a lot of cool photos and have come 2 the realization that i got some serious organization to do in regards to my....extensive.... collection of tally hall photos mostly because a great deal of them have no context and that means i cant prove i didn’t just screenshot them from somebody else! (that is, yes. that is what i did.)
anyways hope this was enjoyable somehow. i sure had a good time !! thanks loolin !!!!!
#and i realllllllly gotta actually read the posts on hits sometime#i dont spend much time on hits but idk why#anyways!!! if i thought my tally hall hyperfixation was fading i was dead wrong!!#do i...#do i put this in the tag...#tally hall#not like kristen or anyone else is posting about the ties on tumblr dot com these days anyways :P#live-blogging things other than your own life
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finished the covers for my caleb and adam playlists! putting them together because like......... i have to. i can’t separate them
there is a caleb/adam playlist too but i’m gonna post that cover separately bc i have a different idea for that one
playlist notes under the cut!
caleb
yes, this playlist is 40% sleeping at last. no, i am not going to apologize for that. they have an album called emotions, it was kind of impossible to not use those songs.
falling for the first time- barenaked ladies: this gives me some strong caleb vibes, and i think it’s because it’s kind of an upbeat but also vaguely self-deprecating song? i mean, come on. I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser/I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out/I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby/I'm so fly, that's probably why it feels just like I'm falling for the first time
son- sleeping at last: And I will try, try, try to breathe
'til it turns to muscle memory
I'm only steady on my knees
One day I'll stand on my own two feet
And I'll run the risk
Of being intimate with brokenness
Through this magnifying glass I see a thousand finger prints
On the surfaces of who I am
soul meets body- death cab for cutie: it’s got some caleb/adam elements, but ultimately i chose to use it as a caleb song, because it feels more specifically like caleb seeking out adam’s emotions because they make him feel more like himself; So brown eyes I'll hold you near/'Cause you're the only song I want to hear/A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
joy- sleeping at last: i just really love the way emotions are described in the songs on this album (well, except for fear, which has no lyrics and is also not on this playlist). i also just really love The clumsy start of adolescence/The glue that mends our broken remnants/An overwhelming sense of reverence/It's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold for caleb
a new mission- josh whitehouse: ah. this song. this was the song that made this playlist really, really difficult to make, because it was the first song i added and it set a very high bar for literally every other song on the playlist. it just feels so perfect as a caleb song to me, especially early on, when he was still figuring things out and he was constantly overwhelmed by all the feelings around him and in him.
Sometimes I can't control a feeling that I get inside my chest
Even with those who are close to me, the ones I call my best
I lose sight of all my confidence, in a heavy single step
It's happened ever since my childhood, things I thought I'd put to rest
I can keep my mind intact by getting on with a new mission
I can push myself, having heavy ammunition
When something gets me down, for a second I'm distracted
I look back amongst the lights I consequently lit my path with
anger- sleeping at last: I mean, it kinda feels like this song has to be on here, yknow? especially with this part, which genuinely feels like how caleb describes anger sometimes: Like wildfire, it starts in my chest/The silence grows louder, ringing out in my head/I feel the Earth shaking under my feet/I feel the pressure building until I can't breathe/And it takes everything/And it all spills out, reckless but honest words leave my mouth
if i say- mumford and sons: aaand now we’re at the sad part of the playlist, because i can’t make happy playlists apparently. this one is definitely a safehouse caleb song; Show me your hands/Are they cleaner than mine?/Show me your face/Did you cross the line?/Show me your eyes/They any drier than mine?/Your soul survives/But peace, you'll never find
organs- of monsters and men: also a safehouse song, but more aftermath than in the middle of things. it’s sadder, more subdued.
sorrow- sleeping at last: more safehouse! who would’ve guessed!
I feel out of focus, or at least indisposed
As this strange weather pattern inside me takes hold.
Each brave step forward, I take three steps behind.
It's mind over matter-- matter over mind.
Slowly, then all at once
A single loose thread and it all comes undone
up with the birds- coldplay: caleb likes coldplay, so i had to include one of their songs, and this one is just. kind of perfect?
The sky is blue,
Dreamed that lie 'til it's true,
Then takin' back the punch I threw,
My arms turn wings,
Oh, those clumsy things
Send me up to that wonderful world
And then I'm up with the birds
--
adam
some of these songs are here for tone; the line between what adam would listen to and what helps me draw him is very thin compared to most characters. i did try to make sure they were all songs that fit him at least a little bit, though.
all the kids are depressed- jeremy zucker: i mean. i feel like the title kind of speaks for itself here, honestly. also the lyrics fit pretty well. there isn’t a ton of explaining that needs to be done for this one.
three- sleeping at last: yes i am back on my sleeping at last bullshit no i don’t care this song is perfect go look at the lyrics they’re all good here’s some of them: Maybe I've done enough/Finally catching up/For the first time I see an image of my brokenness/Utterly worthy of love/Maybe I've done enough
velodrome- dessa: this was one of the songs i included primarily for the tone; it’s one of the songs i listen to full volume on my Nice Headphones when i’m feeling too much at once because it kind of just gets rid of everything somehow. it just creates this kind of,, pleasant hollow feeling, if that makes any sense at all. but i realized after i added it that some of the lyrics do kind of fit: With a bell to tell us when we're hungry/There's a bell to tell us when we're tired/A bell that tells us to rise and fight/A bell to rise and die/It's just all bells/Sometimes I ring myself/To see if I might chime
drowning- jay brannan: a lauren playlist song, because like. fuck. that is all i have to say on this song: fuck
trapdoor- twenty one pilots: adam is a top fan because of course he is. i listened to this one a lot in high school so i’m passing it on to adam, and it also felt like a good follow-up to drowning
marching bands of manhattan- death cab for cutie: god this song is perfect. also, another song i listened to a lot in high school.
And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty and half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown
nine: sleeping at last: god, this song. it fits way too well and it hurts. it’s genuinely difficult to choose lyrics from this song, and i recommend looking at the full lyrics because holy shit, but like
Who am I to say what any of this means?
I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen
Now as I write my song, I retrace my steps
Honestly, it's easier to let myself forget
Still, I check my vital signs
Choked up, I realize
I've been less than half myself
For more than half my life
Wake up; fall in love again
Wage war on gravity
There's so much worth fighting for, you'll see
Another domino falls either way
better days- radical face: 90% of my playlists have radical face songs. adam especially needed one, though, because his playlist notes mentioned he’d probably actively seek out queer artists, and also there was a youtube q&a where ben cooper said he never writes songs while he’s happy, and honestly the whole discography has adam vibes imo. anyway: When you're always drifting out to sea/Because the ground won't stay beneath your feet/And your head is pouring gasoline/On the person you prefer to be/Try to remind yourself/That it's probably gonna take some time/But there are better days to find
the little things give you away- linkin park: it just has that drowning vibe. i mean, it makes sense, they reference drowning, like, a lot in the song, but i feel like the tone of it adds a lot to that too. like, i can feel that guitar, you know? or maybe that’s just me. idk, it just works, i think.
in a week- hozier: you ever just listen to this in a dark room lying on your back with your eyes closed and yeah? because like, i do sometimes, and i kinda feel like adam does too. i needed a hozier song on this playlist and this felt like the most fitting one to add, and a nice subdued end to the playlist.
#the bright sessions#caleb michaels#adam hayes#i am v proud of these playlist covers honestly#i think that might be one of the best calebs i've ever drawn
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The Convenient Groom: 1/?
Okay, I know what ya’ll are all thinking, and I agree: I don’t need another WIP! However, I woke up this morning with this idea, and I just had to write it. What’s more, I was looking for the perfect gift for @spartanguard. You see, I missed her birthday last year. I got on tumblr, saw all these birthday wishes for her, and my heart sank. For some reason, I didn’t have her birthday on my list! I hated it because not only is she one of my favorite writers, but she is also an incredibly kind person who I have come to know as a wonderful fandom friend. So, @spartanguard, I know it isn’t your birthday, but this fic is for you!
This fic has two inspirations: one, the Barenaked Ladies song “Alternative Girlfriend,” but mostly it’s a book I read called The Convenient Groom by Denise Hunter. I normally avoid book aus because it feels way too close to plagiarism, but a Hallmark movie was made from the book and it was a HUGE disappointment. They made it an engagement of convenience instead of a marriage and basically got rid of all the steamy moments. It’s been forever since I read it, anyway, and this first chapter that came to me this morning has vast differences already. Anyhoo, I hope you like it @spartanguard !
Summary: (Is one even necessary? Haha!) Killian Jones just happens to be there when Emma Swan gets the phone call that changes everything: her fiance is leaving her at the altar. The thing is, it also could mean the end of her career. Convenient that Killian has nothing better to do that day. Convenient that he’s secretly in love with her. Not that Emma has to know that.
Rating: M
Words: 2,000 and some change in this chapter
Also on Ao3
Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @distant-rose @welllpthisishappening @optomisticgirl @ohmakemeahercules @teamhook @bethacaciakay @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @delirious-latenight-laughs @resident-of-storybrooke @vvbooklady1256 @thislassishooked @hollyethecurious @nikkiemms @jennjenn615 @stahlop @snidgetsafan @scientificapricot @shireness-says @spartanguard @wellhellotragic @tiganasummertree @branlovestowrite @let-it-raines @carpedzem @profdanglaisstuff
Killian Jones would never forget the first day he met Emma Swan. He’d been focused intently on the rocking chair that the Nolans had ordered for their new baby, and AC/DC’s “Back in Black” was booming throughout his workshop. He always worked to classic rock; it put him in the best creative zone.
Suddenly, the shop was plunged into silence, and he straightened in surprise. Standing there, with the cord to his portable speakers dangling from her hand, was a veritable goddess with anger sparking from her light green eyes. She was dressed in a simple pair of dark wash jeans topped with a cream blouse, yet her trim figure still drew his eyes. He’d never had a thing for blondes, but her golden hair had him re-thinking that. She had caught him so completely off guard, he stood there gaping like a mere boy.
“I’ve got a client upstairs trying to pour her damn heart out, but I can barely hear myself think with this noise rattling the walls.”
Ah, so this was the new tenant in the office upstairs. Killian smirked and sauntered into her personal space. “Well, love, I’ve been told I’m rather good at rattling the walls.”
He hardly knew what had possessed him to say such a thing. Before Milah, he was well known for his charms, but that had been years ago.
The blonde narrowed her eyes at his innuendo, though the blush upon her cheeks sent a far different message. “Not your love, buddy.” She tossed the cords at his chest, and one of them slapped him in the jaw. “Get yourself some damn earbuds.”
She strode towards the door, her high heeled boots tapping loudly on the concrete floor. “It’s Killian Jones, by the way,” he called out after her, “Ms . . . “
“Emma Swan,” she tossed over her shoulder, “and it’s doctor.”
He saw her often after that. It was difficult not to. Storybrooke was a small town, and they shared office space, after all. Their building on Main was also right across the street from Granny’s diner, the only place for a decent cup of coffee and a cheeseburger. Or grilled cheese and onion rings in Swan’s case. They’d crossed paths during their lunch break often enough for him to know her regular order. Yet to say Emma Swan had walls was an understatement, and just casual conversation was a challenge. One he had a rather enjoyable time tackling, honestly.
Yet she never came into his wood shop again. Until one day six months ago, to put in an order. She had stood there in his lobby where he met with clients and rough sketched their custom orders looking uncharacteristically nervous, her hands twisting at her waist. He had noticed the diamond sparkling on her left ring finger early on, and she fiddled with it now. He had never met the man who had given it to her, which he had always thought was odd. Especially considering how passionate Emma was about her career. Even stranger, Mary Margaret had never met him either, and Emma rented the loft from her and David. No one even knew the man’s name. Something was off about that, if you asked Killian. Not that anyone would.
“Can you make a wedding chuppa?” she blurted out.
“Aye,” he said as he leaned against the front counter, “I made one for Marco and Granny when they wed last fall.”
“Good,” Emma breathed out, but then her forehead creased with worry. “Marco’s Jewish, isn’t he? Is it okay to use a chuppa if you aren’t Jewish?”
“Hmmm,” Killian contemplated, rubbing at his chin, “is your fiance Jewish?”
“No,” Emma said with a shake of her head, “but we’re getting married outside, and I wanted some sort of focal point, you know?”
“Well, then,” he told her honestly, “I do think a chuppa has religious significance, so maybe an arbor or archway would be more appropriate? I’ve done those as well . . . “
He had come around the counter then and led her to the sitting area where he brainstormed with clients. He had shown her photos of an arbor he had made for his friends Eric and Ariel’s beach wedding, and several other options online. He found out many things that day: the location of the wedding (the gardens behind the old mansion on the outskirts of town), the flowers (middlemist roses), the color scheme (pale pink and wine red), and the date of the nuptials (late June). Yet he still didn’t know who this mysterious fiance was. Odd.
“He doesn’t like the attention from my career,” Emma had attempted to explain, twisting her engagement ring around her finger, “and I get it. There would be a lot of scrutiny on him and our relationship.”
Killian nodded. Everyone knew about Dr. Swan’s bestseller Seriously, Ladies? which supposedly guided any woman on how to avoid disastrous relationships. Women swore by it, and Emma also had a blog and a podcast. The media was salivating over her upcoming marriage, including the identity of Mr. Right himself.
“And I need your discretion on this,” Emma continued. “The media doesn’t know the wedding date yet, and I -”
Killian placed his hand on hers. “You can trust me, Emma. I won’t tell a soul about this order, much less when or where it will be delivered.”
He had worried that his word wouldn’t be enough, yet Emma had deflated with relief. “Thank you. I know this is a weird situation.”
“You deserve happiness, Swan.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “How do you know that? You know nothing about me.”
Killian had shrugged. “You’re somewhat of an open book, love.”
It was true. Despite her confidence, he could recognize another wounded heart when he saw one. Whoever this fiance was, he wasn’t doing a very good job of healing it, either, at least in Killian’s opinion. Otherwise her eyes wouldn’t still hold that haunted look.
The order meant, for both good and bad, that Killian saw Emma Swan more often. It was good in that he got to know her better, saw her smile, heard her laugh. It was bad for one horrible, terrible reason. For him, at least. Six months was long enough for him to fall in love with her - the woman he was making a wedding arbor for.
Killian sighed, his heart twisting painfully, as he covered the gorgeous arbor of carved mahogany with a moving blanket. Today was the day. For him, it felt more like the day of a funeral than a wedding. This man, whoever he was, better love her the way she deserved. It was all he could hope for now.
“Killian, what the hell do you think you’re doing!” He whirled from the arbor to see Emma marching angrily across his workshop. The scowl on her face was identical to the one almost a year ago when he first met her. “Why did you send the moving crew away empty handed? Please tell me you finished it.”
“Of course I finished it, Swan,” he retorted, unable to keep the bite out of his voice. Wasn’t she supposed to be giddy, flushed with eagerness, floating on air? Instead, she looked so stressed he feared she might give herself a heart attack.
“Then why didn’t you send it to the mansion? Are you being difficult on purpose?”
Killian tilted his head and grinned saucily at her. He couldn’t help it, teasing her was just too much fun. “Though getting you riled up is rather fun, I wouldn’t do that to you on your special day. I just didn’t trust anyone but myself to deliver it.”
“Oh,” she said lamely, biting on her lower lip.
“I was just about to load it up, actually. Want to see it?”
“If it’s not too much trouble . . .”
“Of course not.”
He pulled the moving blanket off, revealing the dark wood with intricate carvings of flowers, vines, and swans. Though the occasion it celebrated tore at his heart, he had never put so much work into a piece. He poured the beauty of the woman it represented into every detail. Emma’s eyes lit up as she ran her hands over the woodwork. The caramel stain brought out the natural beauty of the wood, but it would also make the delicate blush of the roses pop once the florist draped the arbor with them.
“It’s beautiful, Killian,” she told him softly, “exactly what I told you I wanted. More, actually.”
“Thank you,” he managed to tell her around the sudden lump in his throat.
The moment was broken by the ringing of Emma’s phone. She fished it out of her jeans pocket and pressed it to her ear. Killian busied himself covering the arbor and preparing it for transport while Emma paced across his workshop.
“Walsh, are you insane?” he heard her snap, “Our wedding is only six hours away!”
Killian tried not to eavesdrop, but as he glanced Emma’s way, he saw her face grow pale.
“Seriously? You’re doing this to me now?” Though her voice was harsh, her body trembled as she sank to an empty crate next to the table saw.
Killian frowned. He didn’t like how this sounded.
“These are all things you could have told me yesterday!” Emma’s voice rose. “Or better yet, last week, last month.”
She glanced over at Killian, and her face turned bright red. She shifted so that her back was to him. She lowered her voice as she spoke into her phone, but Killian still heard her.
“Is there someone else?”
Killian’s jaw clenched as he saw her shoulders fall and then begin to shake. The bastard.
Her voice was broken as she choked out her next words. “Well I hope you’re very happy together.”
She hung up and dropped her cell phone. Killian winced as it hit the cement floor. She covered her face with both hands and wept silently. He crossed the room and gently placed his hands on her shoulders.
“I’m so sorry.”
“What am I going to do?” she wept. “Oh, God! What am I going to do?” She turned to Killian, her eyes wide and frantic as she clutched at the front of his shirt. “We invited the media to the wedding! It was the only way to keep them from hounding us during our engagement. Now they’ll get an even better story - relationship guru Dr. Emma Swan gets jilted at the altar. I’m ruined! My career is over!”
She was on her feet, pacing the floor, tugging at the ends of her hair. He wanted to tell her she was overreacting, but he couldn’t lie. In this day and age of cancel culture and internet trolls, she would be ruined.
“You’re going to think I’m an opportunist,” she continued, “but my wedding day was also going to be the kick off for my next book. Tomorrow they’re announcing it’s release.”
“I’m not judging you, Swan,” he assured her. “What’s the new book?”
“Ladies, It’s More Than a Wedding,” Emma said sheepishly, “about how to plan for your marriage and not just the wedding.”
Emma groaned and dropped her head against the nearest wall. Killian was silent for a long moment, rolling an idea around in his head. She might shoot him down, call him crazy, but it was worth a shot.
“No one knows who your fiance is, right?”
She looked at him curiously. “No.”
“So . . . couldn’t anyone stand in for him?”
Emma’s mouth dropped open. “Are you crazy? Once the media knew it was a farce, things would be even worse. I have interviews lined up already. A promotion tour for the book. It’s about more than just the wedding.” She barked out a laugh. “Isn’t that ironic?”
Killian leveled her with a steady gaze. “What if it wasn’t a farce?”
She blinked. “You mean . . . like, actually marry someone else? Today?”
“That’s exactly what I mean.”
Emma let out another sarcastic chuckle. “Who the hell would agree to that?”
Killian wet his lips nervously. “I would.”
Emma shook her head in surprise. “You?”
He shrugged. “Well, I’m here, and I have nothing better to do today.”
“We’re talking about getting married, Killian. You know, commitment? Till death do us part?”
“Well,” Killian said slowly, shoving his hands in his jean pockets, “you need to stay married to promote your book, right? What are we talking? Six months? A year, at most?”
Emma’s brow furrowed as if she were contemplating it. But then she shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m even considering this! It would never work! How would it look if I got divorced in a year?”
“Or an annulment. You could blame it on me. I cheated on you or something. Make me out to be the bad guy.” He chuckled sardonically. “You might even get another best seller out of it. Dump His Cheating Ass, Ladies.”
He managed to get a real laugh out of her at that, and he smiled. Her mirth was short-lived, however. “But why would you do that? Tie yourself to me for a year, let your own reputation be damaged? What’s in it for you?”
I’m in love with you.
“I could use your help. With my family. Professional help.”
Emma narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Okaaay. How so?”
“My brother and his wife. Their marriage is a little rocky.” LIe. Liam and Elsa were relationship goals if he ever saw it. “I think it’s because her sister Anna and her husband Kristoff had to move in with them.” Another lie. They had moved in, but no two sisters were closer than Anna and Elsa.
“So why don’t they just make an appointment?”
“They, uh, have this thing about therapy. They think it’s a sign of weakness. Or an embarrassment. Anyway, but if you were around, you could casually help them out. I think you and Elsa would hit it off.”
“So you want to marry me in exchange for free counseling for your brother and his wife?”
She sounded skeptical, and naturally so. He tried to play it off. “My brother means everything to me. He’s all the family I have left. Plus, my niece and nephew deserve a steady home life, unlike what we had as kids.”
Emma and Killian just stood there looking intently at one another. He held his breath, fully expecting her to call him crazy and walk out the door. Her gaze darted to the arbor, now ready to be loaded onto the trunk.
“It would be a shame not to use that beautiful piece you made.”
Killian tried to hold back his smile and failed. “Consider it my wedding gift to my bride.”
“Okay, groom,” she told him with her hand outstretched for him to shake, “it’s a deal.”
#cs ff#cs modern au#cs marriage of convenience#the convenient groom#for spartanguard#on her birthday
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Top 5 Community Moments!!!
oh this is so hard..............i’ll just do a few that make me misty
the end of cooperative calligraphy, when troy tells the study group about the ghost that took annie’s pen: “okay, so i see it a lot like the movie paranormal activity, except for more boring and fancy. and i think in 1856, it’s possible that a man was beheaded while he was writing in his diary to his long-lost love, and now he roams the halls of greendale screaming for his pen so he can write her a love letter.” 🥺
when troy walks annie to her door at the end of mixology certification, and annie tells him that she’s not sure who she is, and he gives the “you’re annie. you like puzzles, little monsters on your pencil and some guy named mark ruffalo. you’re a fierce competitor and a sore loser, and you expect everybody to be better than they are and you expect yourself to be better than everyone” speech
jeff’s closing speech from early 21st century romanticism: “it might shock you guys to hear the real reason we had a fight today. it wasn’t about the barenaked ladies, although i do have some unresolved issues there. caring about a person can be scary. caring about six people can be a horrifying, embarrassing nightmare, at least for me. but if i can’t say it today, when can i say it? i love you guys.”
the group dancing to roxanne at the end of remedial chaos theory, of course
like, literally everything about the series finale but especially jeff taking abed and annie to the airport and annie’s speech: “i want to live in the same home for more than a year, order wine without feeling nervous, have a resume full of crazy mistakes instead of crazy lies. i want stories and wisdom, perspective. i wanna have so much behind me i’m not a slave to what’s in front of me.”
also this is six, but abed and annie at the end of virtual systems analysis: “you’re afraid you don’t fit in. you’re afraid you’ll be alone. great news, you share that with all of us! so you’ll never be alone and you’ll always fit in.” that one in particular really hits, it feels like the audience is being addressed directly lmao
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I subjected the Rusty Quill discord to this, so please, have my Hamid playlist + some explanations.
What a Good Boy by the Barenaked Ladies, for Hamid and the expectations from his family, both when he was younger and as an adult.
We've got these chains/
Hanging 'round our necks/
People want to strangle us with them/
Before we take our first breath
Grace Kelly by Mika, for Hamid desperately trying to fit in as a teenager, alone in a new country.
Do I attract you?/
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?/
Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty?/
Do I like what you like?/
I could be wholesome, I could be loathsome/
I guess I'm a little bit shy/
Why don't you like me?/
Why don't you like me without making me try?
Cardiac Arrest by Bad Suns, for Hamid and Lililana. Bit of a change of pace for both the playlist — but so was Liliana, for Hamid. He tries to change for her, to be better: “Yeah, my tongue, I'll let it slip, why'd I do those things I did?" And "Like cardiac arrest, high voltage in her lips" just makes me smile cause of Liliana's work on electricity!
Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying by Belle & Sebastian, for Hamid leaving Cambridge, and for his decision to become a hero:
Oh, I'll settle down with some old story/
About a boy who's just like me/
Thought there was love in everything and everyone/
You're so naive
Sometimes I Still Feel the Bruise by the Mountain Goats is for Hamid missing Zolf. It's a romantic song but I mostly take it platonically and oh god does it make me feel things...
I'm under no illusion/
As to what I meant to you/
But you made an impression/
And sometimes I still feel the bruise
Panic Attack by Liza Anne is for my scared scared man onto whom I project my anxiety disorder, and particularly for him post-Prague/feeblemind: “My body is here and I am inside.” He shouldn’t be in all those combat scenarios! He’s small!
Things Happen by Dawes is for Hamid coming to grips with What He Did at Cambridge and his whole backstory reveal:
I could go on talking or I could stop/
Wring out each memory 'til I get every drop/
Sift through the details of the others involved/
The true crime would be thinking it's just one person's fault
Not to mention "But ain't it funny how the past won't ever let something lie?" for Hamid's iconic 3-invisiblities-on-the-day-of-a-boss-battle move.
Palomime by Betty Serveert is for Hamid and Sasha, and particularly, Hamid's protectiveness of Sasha. I just wonder about what it would have been like if they'd met earlier...
Well, I wish I had known you then/
Well, who knows I might have been a better friend/
But now the senselessness within the air/
Paints its words almost everywhere/
How come life sometimes makes you feel so scared?
It also works really well for Hamid and Grizzop — their tempestuous relationship, and (even though Hamid doesn't know it) Grizzop's choice to keep his eyes open:
Well, even when I think out about/
The things you used to say out loud/
Even then I can't say I was prepared/
To settle down to what you did/
You made your choice and that was it
Afterlife by Arcade Fire gives me a LOT of post-Rome feelings — Hamid trying to come to grips with what happened after that last planar shift...
Afterlife, oh my God, what an awful word/
After all the breath and the dirt/
And the fires that burn/
And after all this time [...]
I've gotta know Can we work it out?/
We scream and shout 'till we work it out
And also for the fights he had with everyone, desperately wanting to know whether things can ever be okay again.
The last song, Little Wonders by Rob Thomas is actually happy! It's the hopeful side of Hamid, and also his amazing friendship with Azu, and also his hopes for the future...
All of my regret/
Will wash away somehow/
But I can not forget/
The way I feel right now
Time falls away/
But these small hours/
These small hours still remain
I just... I think of all the small moment the party spends together — Hamid and Sasha sharing those meals in Prague, Hamid and Azu's hugs, Hamid trying desperately to enjoy Harrison Campbell for the sake of Zolf, Grizzop insisting that Hamid is trying his best and therefore is a good person — his friends have all left at certain points, but the moments he spent with them are still there.
#rqg#rusty quill gaming#YES many of these are repeats from JLCR#but they can work for multiple characters#my stuff
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