#MARIE LU I AM IN YOUR WALLS GIRL
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Finally continuing Champion... I'm killing myself fr-
#Legend#legend marie lu#Champion Marie Lu#WHAT WAS THE FUCKING REASON#MARIE LU I AM IN YOUR WALLS GIRL#books#june iparis#thomas bryant#Metias iparis
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London Calling - 1
Yes, I'm still in my August phase and I'm not even sorry...I just can't stop thinking about the sexy mf and so this idea crossed my mind and turned into a storyline. I have to admit I'm even more nervous about posting this than usual because it's a little different from what I've written before and I really hope it's not going to bore the shit out of you. If you like this although the tension between August and my ofc builds slowly, please let me know. I appreciate every single comment, reblog and/or like! Thanks 💜
Pairing: Augut Walker x OFC (Lu Johnson)
Words: ~3.0 k
Summary and A/N: This story plays with the thought of "what if…" What if August Walker had taken another road? What if he had turned into John Lark for completely different reasons? What if he had found love before becoming a bitter, disillusioned man?So the events of "London Calling" take place about ten years prior to MI:Fallout and August Walker hasn't joined the CIA yet, he's an FBI Agent and his new mission in London that lies ahead of him is going to be a challenging one. Maybe it's even going to change his life.
Warnings: 18+! This story deals with the topic of a toxic/abusive relationship, gaslighting and problematic behavior of one of the protagonists in general. Please don't read if these topics trigger you or make you feel uncomfortable. Luckily I've never been in any kind of toxic or abusive relationship, so I lack personal experience but I hope still do this sensitive topic justice.
English is not my mother tongue but the lovely @sillyrabbit81 was so kind to be my very helpful and patient Beta! Thank you so, so much, bunny 🐇💜 You have no idea how much I appreciate your support, your encouragement, your help and the fact that you took the time to proofread this. (Edited by me, so there might still be mistakes and they're all mine)
📖 You can find my other fics on my Masterlist 📖
Credits: I don't own August Walker or anything related to MI:Fallout. Pics for the moodboard from pinterest, face claims: Lu - Hannah van der Westhuysen, Adam - Freddie Thorpe. FaceApp helped me with making August look a little younger
Taglist
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfanfics101 @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019 @pandaxnienke
So...now...off we go...story under the cut!
1
"London? Are you kidding me, Kyle?"
August Walker stopped pacing the room with an incredulous frown. He raised his eyebrows, his blue eyes fixed on the other man's face.
"Absolutely not," his superior and close friend of many years said slowly, drawling both words more than necessary to stress that he wasn't joking. "They want you in London."
"What about my promotion? You gave me your word. You wanted me to finish Operation Old Bridge and that's what I did. You wanted Tony Salerno's head on a silver platter, that's what you got."
August's voice was surprisingly calm, his expression blank but his gaze was blazing with anger and frustration. His hands were balled into fists and he only opened them to lean on Kyle's wooden desk, which was very tidy, except for the piles of case files that slowly grew larger than him.
"Damn, Kyle, I risked my life when I went undercover and joined this Mafia mob."
"I know, August, but unfortunately my hands are tied. Interpol wants our best undercover Agent and that's you. Just this last job and afterwards you can happily join the CIA." SSA Kyle Langdon leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his neck with a sigh and an apologetic shrug.
"That's exactly what you said last time. Do you expect me to believe you?"
"As I said, it's not my doing. Manchester contacted Bill because the NCB needs help, blue notice, August. You know that we cannot say no and that means...London calling, man," Kyle pointed out with a smile. "You should be grateful, it's a great opportunity. So just do your job there, return and get your promotion."
"Why don't you just send someone else and I get my promotion right now? We have many great undercover agents. Craig for example. He's crazy about British pussies. He'll love London." August straightened his tall body before crossing his arms in front of his broad chest that was forced into a white button down shirt and a black suit jacket.
"No, Craig cannot go because they want you in this operation. They asked explicitly for Agent August Walker. That's a huge appreciation of your work and a big compliment. You're only 27, August, not many FBI agents are this well known and respected at such a young age." Kyle sat up straight, mirroring August's body language.
"I don't give a shit about their respect and appreciation. I know my worth and I know I'm your best agent. I've worked very hard to get where I stand now... just one step away from becoming a CIA agent," August said angrily, his brows furrowed, his eyes dark. "Fuck, Kyle...why use an American agent in a purely British matter in the first place? They could easily…"
"Listen, August," Kyle cut in and he got up and walked around his desk to face his friend, "the thing is, I am not asking you to do this, okay? It's not a request, it's an order. There's no room to negotiate."
He gave him a friendly smile to temper his words before placing a hand on August's shoulder. "No hard feelings. It's…"
"It's the job. Yeah. I know." August took a step back and nodded his head slowly, curling his lip. He had heard his boss say these words so many times and he hated that line although he was perfectly aware that it was the truth. That was the way it worked. They got orders, they did the job, no matter what. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a moment, feeling a bad headache brewing behind his forehead.
"I have already talked to Sloane about this. Erica seconds the motion by Interpol because she wants you to prove yourself in another operation abroad. If you are successful you will be part of her team. It's simple, Walker. Just don't fuck this up."
"I've never fucked anything up,” August snarled, clenching his teeth, his jaw grinding.
"See, that's exactly why they want you,” Kyle answered with a triumphant smile.
****
"Lu!" Adam Mayfield knocked impatiently on the bathroom door. "Get ready. We're going to be late." He glanced at his Rolex with an annoyed sigh before he straightened his tuxedo jacket and adjusted his bow tie for the umpteenth time. "God damn, this meeting is important." He banged his fist against the door again and rolled his eyes when he heard her muffled voice behind the bathroom walls. "Just a minute, Adam."
Although he was really a little angry that it took her so long to get ready, they weren't actually late, in fact there was more than enough time to meet up with his clients at The London Opera. He had just said that to make her hurry up. Lu had the tendency to dawdle around, she got easily distracted and it was his responsibility to help her with that bad habit and usually it worked well.
Compared to the woman she was when they had met at a party more than five years ago, she had improved her behavior a lot, thanks to his efforts and his strict education. She had been common as muck when they started dating, an ordinary working class girl, smart but not a bit sophisticated, pretty but with no sense of fashion or taste, ambitious but without any connections. He had changed that, he had moulded her into the beautiful, stylish, refined and cultured woman she was now. She was his work, his success, his pride...she was his.
When the door of the bathroom that was adjacent to the master bedroom finally swung open, the welcoming sight of his fiancee interrupted his thoughts and picked up his spirits immediately.
"Wow, this was worth the wait." He eyed her up and down with a smirk and leaned in for a kiss but she stopped him with her hands pressed against his narrow chest.
"No, you're gonna ruin my make-up, darling." Lu smiled at him and spinned around to present him her dress. The black, belted Burberry gown was elegant and classy. High-necked on the front but with a low back that showed off lots of her perfect, lightly tanned skin. Chaste and sexy at the same time, just the way Adam liked it.
"That dress is stunning, baby. You look wonderful." He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her close to leave a sensual kiss on her slim neck while his hands wandered to her ass where they rested for a moment before they squeezed her firm cheeks. "I really hope you're not wearing any panties."
Lu freed herself from his embrace with a frown and stepped in front of the large wall mirror opposite of their king-size bed to check her reflection one last time, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
"Of course I'm wearing panties. We're going to the opera with your VIP clients." She walked to her dressing table and took the diamond-encrusted, leaf-shaped brooch Adam had given her for their five years anniversary on New Year's Eve. "Would you help me with this?"
Adam took the piece of jewelry from her slim hand and pinned it carefully on her dress, right above her heart. He kissed her tenderly but his expression was stern when he spoke. "Strip it off."
Lu's eyes grew wide. "What?"
"You heard me. Get rid of your thong. I know you're wearing one of these slutty, tiny g-strings to make sure your look is flawless and your underwear doesn't show under your dress." His face hardened slightly, yet his voice remained soft and smooth.
"But…"
"Don't test me, Lu,” he said slowly, still smiling but screwing up his beautiful grey eyes. "I want you naked underneath that dress in case I want to have a little fun with you tonight. I mean, we both know Rigoletto is gonna be boring as fuck, we may need a little distraction." He gave her a lewd smirk and with a tiny frown and a raise of his brows he motioned her to be obedient. "You don't want anything to get in my way, do you? Not even a little piece of lace, right?"
"Of course not, Adam," she answered softly with a smile she had to force onto her lips. Lu reached under her dress with shaking hands and pulled down her panties till they hit the floor so she could step out of them carefully, making sure they wouldn't get tangled up in her stiletto heels.
"Good girl," Adam said with a wolfish grin and with a sly smile he added, "you know what, baby? I think I'm going to have a little fun with you just now. My clients can wait."
Lu didn't even try to argue with him, knowing exactly that she was in a no-win situation. She closed her eyes and turned around, lifting up her dress, when she heard him unzip his fly.
****
While Adam Mayfield was fucking his fiancee in front of a mirror in one of the most exclusive penthouses in London, August Walker was having a bad coffee, sitting at a table in the plain and pretty ugly meeting room of their FBI department at the J. Edgar Hoover Building in Washington DC, listening to the explanations of Kyle and the lead of 'Operation Brutus', Christine Carpenter. He didn't like her much but he respected her competence and her leadership qualities and most of all he trusted her with giving him the perfect fake identity for the job in London.
"So, what do you have for me, Chris?" August looked at her with a smile, but his eyes gave away that he'd rather be somewhere else.
"Well, let me just explain the background first, okay?"
She pressed a button on her laptop and the handsome face of a young man appeared on the screen behind her.
"This", she nodded at the picture, "is Adam Arthur Clive Mayfield, 27 years old, only son of Alfred Mayfair and his late wife Erica, heir of the immense family fortune and the private bank Mayfield & Holmes, that was established by his ancestors more than 200 years ago. He is one of the most eligible bachelors in the United Kingdom, and one of the richest, too. His father officially still runs the family business but he isn't in the best state of health, so in fact Mayfield junior is the one who's at the helm. Unlike his father he's not a man of integrity, he's been on the radar of the British authorities for years. From dealing drugs and other minor crimes in his college years to insider trading, investor fraud, misappropriation and money laundering nowadays. He is a big fish, has connections all over the world, drug rings, gun runners, human traffickers, you name it."
"And the Brits are not able to catch him without my help?" August couldn't help but smirk cockily.
"Don't be so full of yourself, Walker. The problem is, he is a damn genius. IQ score beyond 150, very clever, very cautious, a strategic mastermind, always ahead of the authorities. They tried to infiltrate his business a few times but they failed miserably, so now they want to concentrate on his private life."
"And this is gonna be my part?"
"Exactly," Kyle said, getting up to join Christine in front of the screen. "He has a few bodyguards he always hires from an American agency. They are known for their discretion and loyalty and the bodyguards they place with their clients are the best of the best. Unfortunately one of his bodyguards died in an accident a week ago and now he needs a new one. Luckily, we have the owner of the agency by the balls for several major crimes. He cooperates or he will end up behind bars for the rest of his life."
"To cut a long story short, he will place you with Mayfield and you can become part of his daily life. Your job consists of monitoring and collecting information and data. I will give you an exact briefing later," Christine finished Kyle's explanations.
"So I will just be his lapdog?"
"Not his," Kyle grinned, "hers."
The picture on the screen changed, now showing a young, blonde woman. The second he saw her, he judged her.
He could tell what she was like, just by her looks, by the way she jutted her chin in the picture, by her perfectly manicured fingers, by her flawless make up and the expensive clothes. He knew women like her, a walking stereotype, the blond, beautiful Trophy Wife Barbie that's always by Millionaire Ken's side. Pretty on the outside, boring on the inside. Lame bimbos that only lived for showing off their designer clothes and it-bags, tripping around in high heels that cost more than he earned in a month, finding self-fulfilment in stupid things like designing overpriced furniture, running a yoga studio or doing charity stuff. Useless, needless but still blueprints for millions of girls who would literally give the shirt off their backs to catch themselves a rockstar, a famous actor, a hyped football player or just a rich heir.
"This is Mayfield's fiancee," Kyle said, pointing at the photo, "you're gonna be her personal bodyguard."
"How am I supposed to monitor him, when I have to be on her heels all the time?"
"You're gonna live with them, there will be lots of opportunities. Just make her trust you, we need her to open up, get her to talk. They've been together for years, she should know what he's involved in," Chris explained and she made it sound easy when in fact it wasn't only hard to gain a stranger's trust, in this case it was even dangerous.
"Alright. Tell me about her."
"Her name is Lucretia Johnson, 24 years old," Kyle started reading the memo.
"Lucretia?" August let out an amused snort.
"Yeah," Kyle grinned, "her mother seems to have a preference for strange names, her younger sister's called Petronilla."
"What the fuck?" August laughed out loud. "Is she some kind of Latin professor or something?"
"Well, first of all she's dead," Christine took over with a serious look on her face, she was notorious for her lack of humour, "and secondly, no, she was not a professor. She was an alcoholic and a complete mess. An irresponsible, uncaring mother who spent too much time fucking around and too little time taking care of her daughters. Petronilla was taken away from her when she was 15 and was handed over to youth welfare. Lucretia was 18 at the time and lived on the campus of the Chelsea College of Art and Design."
"So she's an artist, huh?" August knew the ridicule in his voice wasn't very professional but he just couldn't help it.
"Maybe, at least she has a master degree in curating and owns a little gallery in Covent Garden. Well, actually Mayfield owns it, she just runs it."
"So, to sum it up, she's made it from the daughter of a drunkard to the fiancee of one of the richest heirs in the kingdom. She's fucked her way to the top. I guess that's all I need to know about her."
"Don't be so sure, August. She seems to be smart," Kyle threw in, "I think there's more to her than the pretty face. It's just a gut feeling but I guess you'll find out soon enough."
August took a deep breath, rolling his eyes at Kyle. "Sure. She's the saint that sleeps with the devil."
"That's not what I said, mate. But whatever she is, you'll have to deal with it."
"What's my cover, Christine?" August wanted to know.
"Well, your alias was born in 1981, just like you, but on the fifth of May. Born and raised in Portland, Maine. Only child, mother deceased, not on speaking terms with his father, a mechanic who still lives in Portland. You can find the details of your early life and your family tree in the memo," she waved the file above her head before she continued. "Careerwise...ex military, ex cop, had some problems following the rules and respecting the law. Single, no ex-wifes, no kids. We kept it plain and simple. They will not dig deep anyway. According to the agency boss, Mayfield expects his bodyguards to be disciplined, always on duty, quiet and discreet. There's three of you. Benjamin Garner is Mayfield's watchdog and his personal assistant, Edward Landow was Johnson's guard you're gonna replace, Andrew Brown is the back-up. You and Garner live with them, Brown lives nearby with his girlfriend. There's other staff of course, a housekeeper, a cook, cleaners. No chauffeur, no butler, no assistant, that's all part of your job."
"Great," August let out an annoyed snort, "so basically I'm gonna be her servant."
"Basically," Chris fixed her gaze on August, "you're not gonna leave her side unless you're told to. Just be professional, stay in the background, prick up your ears, listen closely and be careful. No obvious nosing around. Their penthouse is a high tech fortress, including video monitoring, so just…"
"I know how to work undercover," August cut in impatiently, "just gimme that fucking file and let me do my job."
Christine gave him a pissed look but she handed him the document with a shrug and without further comment. August grabbed it from her hands, staring at the data of his new life, his new name and the composite sketch of his new look. He would have to stop shaving.
*****
tbc
#henry cavill#cavillry#henry cavill fandom#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill fanfiction#august walker#august walker fanfiction#august walker x ofc#slow burn
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Wolfstar Part 2
The next morning, Sirius woke up with a huge grin in his face. He was a bloody idiot. Never in a million years, would he have believed his little excursion would turn up that way. But that’s what Remus provoked on him, he acted like an idiot.
Sirius rushed his fingers through his lips, searching for the lingering taste of Remus’. It had been wonderful, and Sirius wanted to do it again.
But the fantasy was over as James opened his curtains in a beat, making Sirius jump.
“The hell!”
“Good morning, Pads” James smirked “What?” he asked looking at Sirius’ shocked face “Did I interrupt a wet dream?”
James didn’t have the habit of being subtle or having manners. And that was exactly the reason why Walburga and Orion hated him. And that’s the reason, Sirius loved him.
“What?” Sirius tried not to blush.
Every ‘indecent’ topic was forbidden at The Noble House of Black. James was confident talking about them, since his parents had explained everything he needed to know without problem. Sirius didn’t understand how. He had pretended he was confident about those subjects: intimacy, kissing, sex, love… But none of it was real, because it had never happened to Sirius. Until now.
So yeah, Sirius did blush remembering the intimacy he had had with Remus last night.
“Oi!... You were!” And James noticed it too
“Padfoot…” James crossed the space between them and squeezed his cheeks.
“Arrrg!! Prongs!” Sirius protested
“Who is the lady who is stealing your dreams?”
There it was the affectionate James, kissing his head with no problem. Walburga would’ve looked at that scene with disgust.
“NOBODY!”
James wouldn’t understand. The complicate situation he was immersed in. James had shouted to the rooftops how much he fancied Evans. But Sirius couldn’t do that with Remus. Remus was everything that was forbidden. And Sirius was so afraid of the consequences. Even though he acted as he didn’t.
Sirius finally pushed James away, the latter laughing openly. Sirius buffed fixing his hair.
“What happened?”
Remus’ voice made Sirius’ heart beat fast. He wasn’t ready to see him. But there it was, his gorgeous morning face poking through the curtains.
“Nothing” Sirius said quickly, trying to avoid his gaze.
“Sirius had a wet dream” James laughed
Sirius rolled his eyes in desperation. If only James knew that the object of his affections was a few meters away, looking adorable with his oversized sweater, his hair was a mess since he moved quite a bit on his sleep, fact Sirius had learned for sharing a dorm with him for seven years. And Merlin, he wanted to run his hands through his hair, just like he did last night.
“Oh, did he?” Remus crossed his arms, smirking.
Sirius couldn’t avoid smiling back. “Probably”
“Aaarrg! And why do we have to know that?” Peter poked his head through Sirius’ curtains too.
“A little bit of privacy here!” Sirius protested.
“Hey, are you naked too?” James teased
“I always sleep naked!” Sirius hated blushing; he was usually the one making people blush. He probably wouldn’t be like this if Remus wasn’t here.
“It’s comfortable” he added when he saw his friends’ expressions. But Remus was different. He was bitting his lower lip. His eyes were moving through Sirius’ sheets, as if he could scan through them. Sirius’ cheeks were definitely on fire now.
Sirius covered himself with the sheets “GET OUT, WILL YA?”
“Yeah…” Peter left first
Remus blinked coming back to reality and run to the bathroom, probably blushing.
James laughed his ass out seeing his friend humiliated “Move it, handsome” he said patting Sirius’ shoulder “I want to tell you my improvement on Evans last night”
Sirius groaned ducking his face on the pillow.
As they went down for breakfast, Sirius found himself wanting to seat next to Remus. He took his seat beside him. James looked at him, usually they sat together.
“What? Can’t we change seat arrangements?”
James said nothing. Instead he went on talking about his evening with Lily Evans last night. Sirius was more aware of Remus’ heat next to him than James’ story.
“We are friendly now. We sat together and everything, well you saw, until you mysteriously disappeared last night?”
Sirius blinked “We came back to the castle”
“Yeah we were very tired”
“But you weren’t on the dorm when we came in” Peter raised an eyebrow.
Sirius panicked.
“We fell asleep in the Library catching up on homework” Remus said confidently. Sirius was so grateful.
“Him?” James snorted, pointing at Sirius.
“I want to be responsible” Sirius protested
If James or Peter found this suspicious, they didn’t show it.
“Anyway, I sat next to Evans. And she kept laughing at my jokes…”
“Just because they were silly” Peter interrupted
“Shut up, Wormy. I’m telling the story” James protested “Well, I started playing the guitar to show my moves and Lily kept trying to correct me, saying her dad was a guitarist or something. And our hands rushed…”
Behind the table, Sirius’ hand was so close to Remus’. His little finger stroke delicately Remus’ skin. Sirius’ heart began beating fast again. Remus’ lips curled a bit and his fingers found Sirius’, stroking them a little. Sirius swallowed. He dared to finally take Remus’ hand into his. And before they knew it, they were holding hands, fingers interlocked, under the table. It would be an insignificant gesture for anyone. But for Sirius it was so important and intimate. He just wanted to kiss Remus and shout in front of everyone at the Great Hall how much he loved him.
Sirius couldn’t give up his touch.
“Like I know we are just friends” James continued “But when I am with her, I feel like my heart is about to explode, you know?”
Sirius understood the feeling. It was happening right now. He squeezed Remus’ hand to let him know that. Remus smiled in response. And Sirius smiled as well. They didn’t look silly, it looked like they were just smiling for James’ words.
“Hello boys…”
Someone sat next to Sirius and he panicked, dropping quickly Remus’ hand.
It was Lucille. A Hufflepuff girl that had been after Sirius for years. Lucille and him had snogged a couple of times. She was good for that stuff, but then she wanted to talk about feelings and relationships. And Sirius didn’t understand why he wasn’t interested in any of that. But he was interested in all that, but not with Lucille, not with anyone. Just Remus.
“Lucy” Sirius winked.
But he wasn’t ready to admit that in front of everyone.
“I was looking around everywhere last night, Sirius” Lucille poked his arm “I was hoping we could hang out”
“Oh, didn’t you hear?” James mocked “He studies now”
“Shut up, James”
“Oh, speaking of which. Can you help me on my Transfiguration essay? You’re very good at it” Lucille pleaded
“And good at other things” Peter whispered. And James and him giggled.
Sirius was aware of Remus tensing beside him. But he was so afraid of looking at him, of telling the truth.
“Sure, Lu” he smiled “Shall we meet in The Library later?”
“Or maybe down at the Greenhouses” she said, and when she noticed the boys were giggling, she added “It’s quieter there”
“Oh, I see” Sirius winked at James and Peter “I’ll be happy to be of your assistance, as long as I receive payment”
Sirius didn’t know how to stop. He was acting like an idiot, and he knew it. But he couldn’t stop. James and Peter were amused. He felt Remus moving uncomfortably on his seat.
“Oh, thank you, Siri” Lucille exclaimed, kissing Sirius’ cheek “You’re the best” and she ran down the hall.
Sirius let out a big sigh.
“Is Lucille the girl from your wet dreams?” James laughed. Peter whistled.
Sirius simply shrugged. He focused his eyes on his plate with eggs and bacon. He wasn’t angry anymore. He was such a coward, avoiding Remus’ gaze.
“I am not hungry anymore” Remus said “Apparently nobody respects breakfast time”
And he left the Great Hall.
Later, that day, Sirius waited patiently until Remus got out of Ancient Runes, subject he had with Lily, Marlene and Mary. He was taping his foot nervously, rubbing his hair desperately. Hidden behind a statue like a bloody coward.
Remus and the girls came down the hall. Remus always made the girls laughed. And Sirius felt a rush of jealousy. He watched as Remus said goodbye to them. They disappeared through the other hall, and Remus walked towards him, as Sirius had predicted.
When Remus was close, Sirius took his arm and dragged him inside the nearest broom closet, locking the door behind him.
“What the…”
But Sirius cut him with a kiss.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry” Sirius whispered covering Remus with kisses “I’m sorry. I’m sorry”
Remus pushed him away. “Yeah you said that”
Remus didn’t look angry, he looked disappointed. Which was worse. Sirius had knot on his throat.
“You promised you weren’t going to be awkward about it” Remus said crossing his arms “Like last time”
After their first kiss, at The Astronomy Tower, Sirius had pretended he was too drunk to remember anything. Because he was so scared of the strong feelings he had. It had been different with other girls he had snogged, because there was nothing there. But the truth was that Sirius was so scared of being hurt, or worse hurting someone. Just like his mother had told him “Who would stan your mood swings, your tantrums, your stupid behavior? Just me. Your mother. And as much as you try to deny it, Sirius. You’re just like me. You are a Black and you will always be”
Sirius’ eyes started watering. And he hated when people say him cry. Orion always thought it was a sign of vulnerability and weakness.
Sirius hugged Remus, hiding his tears on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Moony” he whispered “I am an idiot”
Remus didn’t say anything. He hugged him back, stroking Sirius back.
And it was easier that way, because he had Remus on his arms, facing the wall. Sirius knew he would listen but he couldn’t say it to his face.
Sirius sniffed. He stroked Remus’ hair, and kissed his neck gently.
“I…have… very…strong feelings…for you” It had been so hard to say it out loud but there it was. And then he was confident to say the rest “I haven’t felt this way for anyone, just you”
Remus didn’t respond but Sirius’ felt his heart bumping against his.
“Do you understand what I am trying to say?” Sirius tried again, and he decided to face Remus this time. Remus was overwhelmed, his face illuminated by the poor lighting of the room.
“I fancy you” Sirius continued, his eyes filling with tears “I fancy you like James fancies Lily, or even more” he snorted “Maybe more. I don’t know what that makes me… but I am so scared of what others might say, or what would happen if they found out” my parents “And I am scared of hurting you, like I did last year for my stupid temper” Sirius started crying now “And I am so scared of losing you…” he was actually sobbing “I don’t want to lose you…” he shook his head “Not again” he covered his face.
He felt Remus’ arms wrapping him. And he wrapped his arms around his waist. Crying on Remus’ chest. That beautiful bastard smelled like chocolate and fresh parchment. Just like his Amortentia last term.
“I fancy you too” Remus whispered in his ear “Like Lily fancies James, because she was talking about him in class, you know?”
Wait, Lily liked James? Those words made Sirius cry even more “I am sorry. I am such an idiot”
“Hey…” Remus whispered “Hey, hey, hey” he broke apart and forced Sirius to look at him. Remus smiled and immediately Sirius stopped crying.
Remus laughjilyed and looked around “Looks like a pretty place to live, so cozy”t… I mean…”
“Hey” Remus interrupted “Kiss me”
“What?”
“Kiss me now”
Sirius was compelled because he needed Remus’ lips right now. They kissed softly three times. Remus grabbed his hands into his.
“We are going to solve this” Remus put his forehead against Sirius’. Then Remus smiled and began giggling softly.
“Are you making fun of me?”
“I am just very happy that you feel the same way I do”
Sirius snorted and giggled as well. He kissed Remus again. He might be scared of doing so in public, but right now, in the privacy of this broom closet, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Remus was his. Like run his fingers through Remus’ curls.
“Can we stay here forever?”
Remus laughed and looked around “Looks like a pretty place to live, so cozy”
“Shut up, asshole” And Sirius smiled before kissing Remus again.
#harry potter#marauders era#sirius black#remus lupin#padfoot#moony#uncle moony#wolfstar fanfiction#jily
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Birthmark
A short horror story by B.E.
The women in my family have port-wine birthmarks, but none ever had any as strange as mine.
Not even my mother, who had one that stretched across her forehead like a bloodshot eye, the pale sclera-white of her skin visible under the glaze of reddish violet. She told me, when I was very young, that my grandmother had one, too, along the back of her head--she, unlike us, had been lucky enough to have one that could be hidden under a bonnet, though her blonde hair still revealed it in the summertime.
“Can I see the ones on the legs?” Thomas asks, chewing the inside of his cheek like a cow chewing its cud. I allow it, even though I am a girl, because Thomas and I are friends, alone in the center of a field of tall summer alfalfa. I can feel his eyes boring into the marks on me in fascination, as he moves around me to see my arms, at the marks on those.
“I like the winter best,” I say, pulling my skirt up. “Pa hates it. But I like it, because I can cover all of ‘em up with my clothes, even the ones on my arms.”
“They’re not so bad,” he says. “They’re not on your face, at least.
“Guess so.”
He sits in front of me in the clear space between the eden-green strands of the grass, looking down at the marks on my legs. They are strange, wobbling lines, not blotches or patches--the lowest two are at my knees, lines that wrap around the joint like the borders of a county.
There are two more on my upper thighs, though I don’t show Thomas those--he’s still a boy, and even though he looks at my markings with nothing but fascination, I still feel a little kernel of shame rubbing at the walls of my chest. The arms are easier to show to him--there are only two marks, just too low to be covered by my short sleeves, broad and awkward unevenly-stamped lines.
“So you’ve got more? On your back?” Thomas asks, sitting on his haunches, looking at me with intent, dust-brown eyes too large for his face.
“Yes. Almost like a corset,” I say, “like a nice corset, the kind rich ladies wear with their jewels. One on my waist, like a belt. One below my shoulders. Oh, and a line down my back, a kinda wobbly one.”
“Like the laced-up part of the corset,” he says, and I nod, happy that he understands. Most boys who live in these parts wouldn’t. He moves around me, and I sit straight, lifting my long frigid-blonde braid so that he can see the very top of the line that travels down my spine, the source of the splotchy red-and-purple river.
“You ever wish that you could have them wiped off?” He asks. “I heard that God sometimes grants big miracles if you pray for ‘em enough.”
“Maybe,” I say, doubtful. “I’ve tried it. Pa makes me pray each night, but nothing seems to work.”
“Shame about that. Real shame. Maybe God’s busy with somethin’ else--” he says, and suddenly a gunshot rings out in the distance.
He freezes, pupils dilating like a rabbit that hears a hawk, and I scramble for my boots, forcing them on over the crumbles of mud on my feet. We can both hear Pa, coming through the brush, forcing his way through it with snaps and tears and nearly inarticulate grumbling. Thomas is off like a shot, running almost on all fours as he crouches, and by the time my father reaches me, panting and huddled in the grass, my friend is nothing but a mole-trail disturbing distant strands.
Pa is a tall man--though I inherited his height, I’m only 13, and he towers over me, so broad and heavy that I am thin as grass and summer wind below him. I stand, looking up at him with a look that must look shameful, and he lowers the rifle to point at the earth, face still and steely with malice.
“I told you I didn’t want no boys ‘round,” he says, voice thick, like smoke from a bonfire. “Told you I didn’t want you foolin’ round like a little whore.”
“He didn’t do nothin’,” I say, arms wrapped around my chest. “Honest.”
“Who was it, then? And why didn’t he come see me, an’ ask if he could talk to you?” He takes my arm--not tightly, but with such strength that I couldn’t run if I tried.
“He and I met while I was out with the chickens. He was on the road going up to town.”
“Sure he was.” Pa shoves my arm away and laughs, the sound like metal clattering to a dirt floor. “Sure, the devil ‘e was. I heard him talkin’ bout your legs, girl. Didn’t hear much, but I heard that. You think you’re the pick of the meat at the market, don’t you?”
“Pa--”
“Don’t talk, pretty girl. Don’t talk, and don’t you ever try and do this again. You’re gonna pray as long as you can tonight. I want your damn tongue to fall out before you stop praying,” and he begins to move, and now the pain comes as I stumble half-backward with him, held in a vise by my arm.
“Pa, I’m sorry--”
“You ain’t sorry yet, Lu,” he says. He looks back at me, from under the shadow cast beneath his brows by the white sun overhead. “You ain’t sorry, yet.”
---
He makes me pray, that night, for hours and hours, for forgiveness, for something I never did. But the praying he makes me do that night is only meager practice for the praying I do during the winter.
Our chickens die when a coyote pack rolls through in the late days of fall, snarling and barking with a sound like mocking laughter. We salvage what corpses we can, and for a while, we eat well, but not well, because while we dine on fresh meat, the knowledge that something terrible to come hangs over us like the fog of their blood. The cattle start to go soon after, the first to a weak cover over a well (it falls in, it screams for hours), the second to a river, the third to disease, the rest tumbling like the articles like a rotting shelf soon after them.
When winter comes, we have little, so little, and my father tears into his meager dollars to buy us what we can. I am grateful to him, even as the food dries up, even as he becomes silent, frighteningly silent, staring at me above the candle that lights our dinner-table with a face like a haunting.
I am not allowed to leave the house anymore.
I only cook--clean--mend--read the scraps of old newspaper used to patch the walls of the house as best I can. I make what food he finds for dinner, if he finds any, and I give more to his portion, and he says almost nothing to me except to remind me to stay in the home, to keep house and to keep out of the snowstorms and the paths of wild things. He fixes the roof and sharpens the knives--those are the only tasks he does around the house, besides force me onto my knees beside him to beg God for something for our stomachs.
And it is in cleaning that I find the box.
It is a small box, barely as long as my forearm and as shallow as the length of my hand, and it is under his bed, dislodged from a long stay deep in the shadows beneath his cot by a storm that shook the house.
I pull it slowly from beneath--it is unpainted, made of thin wood that leaves little splinters in the flesh of my thumb-joint. I remove its lid and look inside.
My mother is there, first, as I remember her--thin, short, with a look in her eyes like the hollow of a tree, unexplainably empty. The mark is clearly visible in the photograph, as she stands next to my father, mottled and dim. Neither of them are smiling. They are younger in this photograph--it is blurry, hard to make out.
Beneath that is a scrap of newspaper that I have a hard time understanding for a moment.
Mrs. Mary J. Letts, 68; Wife and Mother
We regret to announce the death of Mrs. Letts, wife of Mr. Roger Letts and mother to Mabelle Letts, which took place last Thursday due to a tragic accident involving an injury sustained to her head while riding. She is survived by her husband and daughter.
The paper cuts off there. I don’t recognize the name of Letts, and the paper is old; I continue reading as I find another scrap.
Mrs. Mabelle Dawson, 36; Wife and Mother
We regret to announce the death of Mrs. Dawson, who is survived by her husband, Mr. Arnold Dawson, and her young daughter, Lucy Dawson. Their family has our greatest sympathies. She was killed accidentally as she was cleaning a weapon owned by Mr. Arnold Dawson, who claims deepest regret that
I feel my mouth run dry and my pulse hammer against my skin like stone against a drum. That is my mother’s name--that is my name, too, faint against the paper. I don’t understand why these things are in the box, among other pictures and portraits of my mother, and, unmistakably, my mother’s mother, whose mark is just visible in one small portrait of her, clearly done by an amateur hand. I can imagine how it stretched across the back of her head, branching along her skull--I can see my own mother’s mark, clearly, in the center of her forehead.
I feel cold as the wooden floor under my feet as my eyes trace the border of the mark on her forehead for the first time.
“Lu?” my father calls, from downstairs. “Lucy? Lu-cy?”
The starburst on her forehead is strangely jagged. Unsteady. The shape that a bullet hole would make, if someone were shot close in the head. An accident while cleaning a gun. A trauma to the back of the skull. I hear a footstep on the stairs, almost hesitant, its weight barely masked by the slowness with which my father places it down.
“Lucy?” he says. “I prayed to God for a miracle, and he told me what we ought to do. I need to see you, now.”
I can’t breathe. My throat is choked by a snare as I throw myself back, scrambling across the floor and away from the box. My skirt flies up--my legs are exposed, the lines on them obvious in their purpose.
Summers ago, I went to the village with Pa, and we went to a stall hung with pig carcasses. There, there was a picture of a sow, her legs and sides and ribs marked with uneven lines where the different cuts of meat came from. Here was the thigh--here was the shank--here was the cut you made along the spine and the stomach.
I hear a slow, low rumble of creaking wood as he stops outside the door.
“Lucy?” he says, his voice more paternal than I have ever heard it, and I begin to cry--begin to pray to anything, anyone that will listen, pray that something else kills me before he enters, and nothing does.
And the door opens--slowly, too slowly, as though I’ve had a nightmare and he’s coming to check on me like a good father should--and he sees me with the box, with the tears flowing down my face, with my chest heaving in great stops and starts.
He takes a step forward. In his hands, he holds a sharpened butcher’s knife.
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Que chel sarà sarà Pt 2
Si nonno, E’fatto!” (Yes papa, it’s done!) I called from the kitchen. I had arrived in Como three days ago, arriving early to prep the house for my friends. They were scheduled to arrive later this afternoon, and I had insisted my grandparents leave before they got here, but they were determined to at least meet the people who were going to be living in their home. “Y/N Le stanze sono preparate? (Are the rooms prepared?)” I heard Nonna ask, as she walked into the kitchen. I had been peering over the small planner I brought with, trying to finish up the schedule I had been arranging.
I looked up from my work and nodded, giving her a soft smile, “Si nonna, le cameriere lo hanno fatto stamattina (the maids took care of it this morning),” I told her. She smiled and walked over giving me a kiss on the head. She then grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the french doors that lead towards one of the many patios overlooking the lake. We sat down on her favorite porch swing, the green cushion smelling of her jasmine perfume. She sat and held my hand before turning to look at me.
She brushed her soft hands over my face and gave a stern frown, faking discipline. “Now y/n, la mia piccola stella,( My little star)” she said, “Do not go causing any trouble or do any damage to this house. Your nonno may be easy going on his belongings but me, not so much,” she warned. I laughed lightly, “Si nonna, I would never be so reckless,” I told her, slightly teasing.
“Ms. Sophia, two cars have just entered the estate, I believe it is Ms. Y/N’s guests,” Antonio, one of the butlers announced. “Ahh finally!” Nonna said excitedly, “It’s about time I met the American riff raff you call friends,” she joked. I laughed lightly, hoping that she wouldn’t embarrass me in front of everyone.
Ashton’s POV
“You guys, this is fucking insane,” Roy said dramatically. We had been in the car for almost an hour now, having landed in Milan about two hours ago. We definitely weren’t expecting two massive limousines to be waiting for us on the tarmac. We had split ourselves into two cars, me, Michael, Crystal, Mariah, Roy, Brian, Lindsey, Kayla, Brianna in one car and Luke, Calum, Sierra, Andrew, Carmella, Bryana, Anne Marie and Mitchy were in the other one.
I was staring out of the window in awe of the countryside, everything was so vibrant and beautiful. Kind of like Y/N. I blushed realizing that I was thinking of her again. I was a goner the second I met her at Brian’s first solo show, he introduced the two of us and we became friends in an instant. Of course I was drawn to her, she was so full of love and light and just had the most beautiful eyes and outlook on the world. I’m hoping that this trip will give me a chance to tell her how I really feel.
“Ladies and gentlemen, if you look to your right, you will see the Magedino Estate,” the driver told us through the partition. Everyone turned to stare out my window and we all gasped. “Holy shit,” Kayla stated. The place was ginormous, it looked like a fucking palace. You could catch glimpses of the lake behind the house, but in all honesty my eyes were too focused on the size of the place to really notice. “You know I’m startin to get a little suspicious of this girl,” Crystal teased, “what else isn’t she telling us.”
We felt the car stop for a moment, listening to the chauffeur murmur into an intercom outside the gates. Within moments we had stopped once more, only this time we stood outside the front doors, in what appeared to be a courtyard. The other limo had opened its doors and the others had come to stand beside us. We all stood, staring the fortress-like house in awe. The doors to the house suddenly flung open, and a line of people in red and white uniforms all lined the steps to the house.
A tall and elegant gentleman appeared in the doorway, and made confident strides down the steps. He looked like a god, a tall and glowing man with slicked back silver hair and a bold smile. “IT’S A YOUNG ROB DE NIRO,” Lindsey shouted quietly, causing Mitchy to elbow her.
“Welcome children!” the man said, “I am Carmen, welcome to the family home,” he gestured with his arms wide open. “Don’t worry about your belongings, the staff will take care of them for you. Please follow me inside,” he explained. We followed him in, definitely not expecting the sight.
We walked into a grand foyer, footed with marble floors and massive white pillars that held the ceiling up high. A grand staircase that split on two sides above a set of french doors. We were escorted through the staircase doors, and lead down a hallway until we were lead into a living room.
There was a woman sitting on a small sofa facing the massive floor length windows. She turned at the sound of our footsteps. “Carmen!,” exclaimed “I’m so glad you found our guests, bring them in!” We all gathered around the long coffee table, each of us taking seat on a sofa or couch that was elegantly arranged. You could see a portion of the lake outside the window, spanning from the docks on the estate to the foothills of the Alps. “Y/N will be down in a moment, we just wanted to get a good look at her friends, she hardly ever mentions anything about you all,” the woman said. I assumed she was Y/N’s gramma, they had that same twinkle in their eyes.
“Thank you very much for allowing us to stay Mr and Mrs. Magedino, it’s very kind of you,” Crystal said. “It’s our pleasure dear, I don’t know why that girl is so keen on keeping people out of here, we love guests!” Carmen said. A man suddenly walked through the doors, announcing that the couple’s car for the trip to the pier was here. The couple leapt up from their seats excited. “Come come will walk you to the main room and say goodbye to Y/N,” she said.
We followed them through more hallways until we arrived in another room facing the lakes. Only this time, a massive portrait of a young girl hung above the fireplace. Another long staircase branched out from the wall, Carmen moving towards the steps to call up. “ Y/N, ce me stiamo andando!” ( We are leaving!) he shouted. Seconds later she appeared.
I practically lost my breathe, she was stunning. Her hair cascaded across her shoulder and a long blue dress covered her beautiful figure. She looked like an angel. “Si nonno, I could hear your footsteps the second you passed the conservatory, who could ignore the sound of a mighty god walking on marble?” she teased, causing her grandparents to laugh. “We will be home in three weeks time, Donatella and her team will arrive two weeks from today to help you get fitted for The Luce Stellare Gala,” Sophia told her. Y/N nodded and kissed both of them goodbye, softly closing the door behind them.
She turned around and gave us a massive grin causing all of us to smile. “Well,” she started, “glad that’s out of the way!” We all laughed. “C’mon I’ll lead you outside and we chat about all the wondrous things I have planned for you all.” We followed her through another hallway, until we came across a set of stained glass doors where two doormen stood waiting. Y/N gave them a wave and they promptly whisked the doors open.
The view was unbelievable. It was like something out of a movie. You could see a small island in the middle of the lake, while our side of the shore was lined with resorts and other private homes, and across from us stood the Swiss Alps. “Y/N,” Luke said, “this is fucking incredible, how on Earth could you ever keep a place like this hidden?” he asked incredulously. We turned and saw her sitting at a long dining table, arranged with all sorts of fruits and pastas. She motioned for us to come and sit, winking at me before patting the arm of the seat next to her
“To answer your question Lu,” she said, “This was always my escape as a child. When my parents got too obnoxious or I felt that the world was crashing down, I simply called for a plane to bring me here. It’s a bit spoiled, I’m well aware, but this is the one place where I’ve always felt I can be at peace. I don’t have to hide my family’s name and wealth, I don’t have to be scared of strangers taking my photo or harassing my friends. This is a place where none of that matters. But I’m so glad that I’ve decided to share it with you,” she told us, all of us smiling. “Now,” she paused, “let’s eat!”
#5sos blurb#5sos imagine#ashton irwin#calum hood#michael clifford#luke hemmings#crystal leigh#lindsey demeola#roy english
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It’s not a Fangirl Fury December without the End of Year Book Survey! This survey was created by Jamie of the Perpetual Page Turner. The End of Year Book Survey is always the perfect way for me to look back on my bookish and bloggish year.
Number Of Books You Read: 121
I just wanted to note that this is the most amount of books that I’ve read in one year! My final count will come on January 1, as I of course plan on reading as many books as I can during winter break.
Number of Re-Reads: 5
Genre You Read The Most From: Contemporary
Best Book You Read In 2019? Serious Moonlight by Jenn Bennett and Ninth Houseby Leigh Bardugo
Maybe I’ll narrow my final favorite answer to one book chosen by the time my favorite books of the year post comes out.
Book You Were Excited About & Thought You Were Going To Love More But Didn’t?
You’d Be Mine by Erin Hanh
Most surprising (in a good way or bad way) book you read?
Good!: The Grace Year by Kim Liggett
Book You “Pushed” The Most People To Read (And They Did)?
Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
Best series you started in 2019?The Off-Campus Series by Elle Kennedy
Best Sequel of 2019? Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowelll
Best Series Ender of 2019? The Goal (Off-Campus #4) by Elle Kennedy
Favorite new author you discovered in 2019?
Jenn Marie Thorne
Best book from a genre you don’t typically read/was out of your comfort zone?
Crier’s War by Nina Varela
Most action-packed/thrilling/unputdownable book of the year?Catwoman:Soulstealer by Sarah J. Maas
Book You Read In 2019 That You Would Be MOST Likely To Re-Read Next Year?
Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell
Favorite cover of a book you read in 2019?
American Royals by Katharine McGee
Most memorable character of 2019?
Astrid from Rich People Problems (Crazy Rich Asians #3) by Kevin Kwan
Most beautifully written book read in 2019?
A Heart in a Body in the World by Deb Caletti
Most Thought-Provoking/ Life-Changing Book of 2019?
All American Muslim Girl by Nadine Courtney Jolie
Book you can’t believe you waited UNTIL 2019 to finally read?
Renegades by Marissa Meyer
Shortest & Longest Book You Read In 2019?
Shortest: Pumpkinheads by Rainbow Rowell and Faith Erin Hicks – 209 pages
Longest: The Toll by Neal Shusterman – 627 pages
Book That Shocked You The Most
The Tenth Girl by Sara Faring
OTP OF THE YEAR:
Sweetie and Ashish from There’s Something About Sweetie by Sandhya Menon
Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship Of The Year
Darcy and Marisol from The Library of Lost Things by Laura Taylor Namey
Favorite Book You Read in 2019 From An Author You’ve Read Previously
The Fountains of Silence by Ruta Septeys
Best Book You Read In 2019 That You Read Based SOLELY On A Recommendation From Somebody Else/Peer Pressure/Bookstagram, Etc.:
Eleanor Olpihant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
Newest fictional crush from a book you read in 2019?
Tuck from The Goal by Elle Kennedy
Best 2019 debut you read? Small Town Hearts by Lillie Vale
Best Worldbuilding/Most Vivid Setting You Read This Year?
A Heart So Fierce and Broken by Brigid Kemmerer
Book That Put A Smile On Your Face/Was The Most FUN To Read?
Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
Book That Made You Cry Or Nearly Cry in 2019?
The Simple Wild by K.A. Tucker
Hidden Gem Of The Year? The Other’s Gold by Elizabeth Ames
Book That Crushed Your Soul? Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo
Most Unique Book You Read In 2019? Unpregnant by Jenni Hendricks and Ted Caplan
New favorite book blog/Bookstagram/Youtube channel you discovered in 2019?
I’m actually going to with a podcast, which is Bad on Paper. I especially loved their episodes with Katharine McGee on American Royals and with Carly from Carly the Prepster.
Favorite post you wrote in 2019?
2019 FAVORITE READ: Serious Moonlight Review & Inspired Recipe
Favorite bookish related photo you took in 2019?
Best bookish event that you participated in?
Book Expo 2019
Best moment of bookish/blogging life in 2019?
Jenn Bennett sharing my Chocolate Chip Cookie Pie recipe inspired by Serious Moonlight on Twitter.
Ahoy! @fangirl_fury has a CHOCOLATE CHIP PIE inspired by SERIOUS MOONLIGHT on her blog. 😲🥰😋 The book comes out next week, but you can make her recipe NOW! See it here: https://t.co/D3Aj3xHbiA pic.twitter.com/DoJRXCleTz
— Jenn Bennett (@Jenn_Benn) April 9, 2019
Most challenging thing about blogging or your reading life this year?
Towards the end of 2019, I feel like I wasn’t dedicating as much time to blogging as I would have liked. A lot of this had to do with my busy fall semester, but even when I did have free time, I found myself just wanting to relax and not really in the mood to write. I was able to upkeep my weekly schedule of 3 posts per week, but I didn’t have as many ‘back-up’ posts or posts written in advance as I normally like. I know that it is important to give myself time to mentally relax, especially since I know that I do my best blogging work when I’m 100% in the mood for writing/blogging.
Most Popular Post This Year On Your Blog (whether it be by comments or views)?
NEW ADULT FAVORITE: Red, White and Royal Blue Review
Post You Wished Got A Little More Love?
Holiday Baking Recipe: Inspired by Christmas at the Cupcake Café
Best bookish discover?
I’m changing this one to my best blogging discover, which is Trello! Trello was recommended by Kelly of Another Book in the Wall. I try to do a lot of my blog post outlining and scheduling in a notebook, but it is by no means organized. Trello is such a great one-stop place for me to keep track of my ideas,available posts, published posts, and what I need to write.
Did you complete any reading challenges or goals that you had set for yourself at the beginning of this year?
I completed my Goodreads challenge of 70 books, I got to all the books in my 2019 release 5 star predictions, and I made a lot of progress on some of the series on my TBR.
One Book You Didn’t Get To In 2019 But Will Be Your Number 1 Priority in 2020?
Rebel by Marie Lu
Book You Are Most Anticipating For 2020 (non-debut)?
Contemporary:We Are the Wildcats by Siobhan Vivian
Fantasy: House of Blood and Earth by Sarah J. Maas
2020 Debut You Are Most Anticipating?
You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle
Series Ending/A Sequel You Are Most Anticipating in 2019?
Girls with Razor Hearts (Girls with Sharp Sticks #2) by Suzanne Young
One Thing You Hope To Accomplish Or Do In Your Reading/Blogging Life In 2020?
Continue to keep balancing the reader-blogger life with my other commitments and interests.
A 2020 Release You’ve Already Read & Recommend To Everyone:
Throw Like a Girl by Sarah Henning
What book are you most anticipating in 2020? What were your favorite reads of 2019?Have you read any of the books I mentioned? Share in the comments!
End of Year Book Survey 2019 It’s not a Fangirl Fury December without the End of Year Book Survey! This survey was created by…
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January/February Reading Update
I’m back at it again procrastinating homework so here I am with a reading update.
In January I decided I’d somehow be able to read 50 books this year so I guess this is just seeing if I’m actually going to be able to read 50 books. So in January before classes started back up again I read 4 books, a good start to my challenge I guess.
The first book I finished was The Traitor’s Kiss by Erin Beaty I had it on my tbr for like a year so when I found one on the shelf at Barnes and Nobles I almost screamed. Well little did I know that I wouldn’t really like it. I gave it 3 stars, it was kind of interesting until she met her boo then it kind of got boring from there. After that I went to the hair shop with my mom when she got her hair braided and it only took 2 and a half hours which is WILD because it usually takes like 6 hours, but in those two hours I read Batman: Nightwalker by Marie Lu in one sitting. I gave it 3.5 stars it was interesting and fast paced but I hated his love interest/crush all I was thinking every time he talked about her was “SHES IN JAIL FOR MURDER, YOU BASICALLY PUT HER IN JAIL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! SHE USED YOU TO BREAK OUT OF JAIL ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, FOR REAL!” I could not believe, I could not what is the deal with characters falling in love with their enemies/ villains like is your brain working.
That's a pet peeve of mine and somehow I keep reading books like that and its driving me crazy. I preordered The Wicked King by Holly Black so the whole day I was like “AMAZON BRING ME MY BOOOOOK!” I heard the knock grabbed my book and immediately started reading I would’ve finished in one day but I had work the next day and I had to open so I decided to go to bed at a reasonable time so I could wake up in the morning. ANYWAYS as soon as I got home from work I flew through the rest I liked it but not as much as the first book. That ending though, I need the third book ASAP. The last book I read before classes started back up again was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling. The start of the book for me was so slow I didn't really get into it until the last 300 pages which is crazy because the book is over 700 pages long. I gave 4.5 stars because that last part of the book had me trying to read faster then I could because it got so interesting I just wanted to know what was going to happen.
The last book I read in January before classes started was Catwoman by Sara J Maas. When class started back up I discovered libby, its basically an app where you can borrow audiobooks and e-books from your library so I have begun to listen to audiobooks which I never thought I’d be able to do. Catwoman was my first audiobook and my first Sara J Maas book and I didn’t like it because the main characters are enemies like mans is trying to put her in jail and somehow they fall in love omg, for real can you do your job and I kind of thought it was boring I kept having to rewind the book because my brain would just tune out.
So all together in January I read 5 books and that put me ahead of schedule by one book bless.
In February I was about to give up on audiobooks after listening to samples of other books and being like this is weird, I don't think I like this. UNTIL I borrowed Commonwealth which miraculously didn’t have a wait list. Yo that book was so goooooood. I could literally just sit somewhere and stare at a wall while listening to it, I want to listen to it again, I loved it I gave it 5 stars. After that I read The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo which I got as an e-book from Libby. And I read it during church, lmaooooo. Its just sometimes I legitimately cannot focus during church so when the pastor started talking and I almost fell asleep I grabbed my kindle and read about 75% of the book during service and finished the rest of the book in the car on the way home. I didn’t rate it, I don't know why but a couple of the stories I loved and others I liked so I’d probably give it 4 stars. I think my favorites were the first one and the siren one, I can’t remember the titles of them but I liked those two the most. After that I listened to Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng, and all I have to say is that I LOVED IT. It was great loved it that's all. 5 STARS!!!
I think for audiobooks I should stick to “adult” books because those are the ones I’ve enjoyed so far. As I listened to a little of and stopped One Dark Throne and Renegades.
Ok so I just looked at my goodreads and I actually finished The Traitor’s Kiss in December like two days before January which means that with the three books I read in February I’m actually behind schedule.
Its fine, I’m like 50% through The Girl Who Drank the moon by Kelly Barnhill and spring break is at the end of this month which will end my history class which makes me want to die. So hopefully I’ll catch up during spring break and have another audiobook to listen to by the end of this week because I don't have one lined up and I will not do my math homework without an audiobook to listen to.
Anyways I unfortunately have homework to do, a test to study for, and I still haven’t eaten lunch yaaaay!
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Swan Queen Week Day 7: Creator’s Choice (Teacher AU)
Title: Of Microwaves and Dodgeballs
Pairing: Swan Queen
Rating: T
Summary:
Emma’s goals for her new teaching position:
-make friends: check
-teach kids about physical education: check
-make a difference in at least one kid’s life: check
-run into an angry woman’s car and have her hate you but then fall for her anyway: check?
FF/AO3
Emma hummed along to the song on the radio as she drove down the pothole-filled road. It was her first day of teaching at Storybrooke High. While she was excited to finally be out of the elementary school from hell in Massachusetts, she was also nervous about adjusting to the small town life in Maine.
She saw the sign for the school up ahead and flicked on her turn signal. Just because she lived in Massachusetts for a year did not mean she adopted their horrendous driving skills (or lack thereof).
The road cleared and she turned into the driveway of the school, quickly locating the teacher parking lot. She found an open spot and pulled in, but noticed she was a little close to the white line on her side. She switched gears and slowly backed out, not seeing the black car trying to pass by until it was too late.
There was a slight crunch and a horn blasted, jolting Emma and causing her to slam on the brakes. She heard a car door slam and tentatively opened her own door.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Emma was startled by the abrasiveness of the voice, but put on a defensive face anyway. She grew up learning that if you didn’t fight back you’d get taken advantage of. “Trying to correct my parking job,” she said as she turned and faced her accuser.
A woman with shoulder-length brown hair stood by the tail end of Emma’s car, a furious expression on her face. A vein in her forehead was twitching but all Emma could focus on was the scar on her lip.
“Did they not teach you how to look before you back up in Massachusetts?” she asked, gesturing to the license plate that Emma still had yet to change. “Flatlander,” she muttered.
Emma took two strides towards her, getting within a foot of the woman. She looked down and noticed that her bug had a minuscule dent on the bumper, and her car— her Mercedes— didn’t even have a scratch.
“Look, your car isn’t even damaged, lady,” Emma pointed out.
“Rightfully so,” the woman replied, offset as she realized Emma was right. “Watch where you’re going next time.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Emma muttered sarcastically. The woman quickly got back into her car and drove off.
Emma took a moment to herself before hopping back in the bug and resuming her task of correcting her parking, making sure to check her back bumper again before walking into the school.
——
“If you continue down that hallway you’ll find the math classrooms, and then over that way are all of the science classrooms…”
Emma’s eyes followed where Principal Kathryn Nolan was pointing, taking in the size of the school. It was a lot smaller than the three she had attended.
Kathryn led them down a small staircase before opening a set of double doors. “And here’s your classroom!” She led them through the gymnasium and toward’s a side room that had a glass window between it and the gym. “That room there is Mr. Hood’s office, and yours…” She pointed down the wall towards the other set of double doors. “…is over there. Any questions?”
Emma shook her head. “I think I got it. Anything I need specifically related to P.E. can be answered by Mr. Hood, right?”
“Definitely,” Kathryn answered. “I am, unfortunately, a little rusty on my P.E. knowledge.” She smiled comfortingly. “I’ll leave you to him, then! Enjoy your first day here, Miss Swan.”
“Thanks,” Emma said, watching the blonde walk away for a moment before heading over to the athletic director’s office.
The door was already open so she wrapped her knuckles on the door frame to alert the man at the desk to her presence.
“Hello! You must be Emma Swan,” he said with a smile, standing up and offering his hand.
Emma shook it and smiled back. “Yeah, that’s me.”
Robin looked down at his desk, searching it with his eyes for a moment before locating a folder. “This is all the information you’ll need for the first few weeks here. You should be settled in by then. It’s not too difficult of a place.”
“Thanks,” Emma said as she took the folder, heading back to her office to prepare for the first class of the day.
——
“Everything going smoothly?” Robin asked as her fifth period class exited.
Emma smiled. “Yeah, so far so good.” And she meant it. He’d been right when he said it wasn’t a very difficult place.
At that moment a man walked into the room wearing a police uniform with a taser and walkie talkie strapped to his belt. He bellowed out from across the gym.
“Robin! Lu—Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?” the man said, walking up to them.
“You’re fine, Graham,” Robin said. He gestured to Emma. “Graham, this is Emma Swan, the new P.E. instructor. Miss Swan, this is Graham Humbert, our behavioral resource officer.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” Graham said. He turned to Robin. “Lunch?”
Robin shook his head. “Not today. I have to supervise a detention for an athlete.”
Graham frowned. “Damn.” He turned to Emma. “Lunch?”
Emma opened her mouth with surprise. “Uh— yeah, sure.” She turned to Robin. “I’ll be back for sixth period, then.”
“Don’t listen to everything he says,” Robin warned with a teasing grin sent towards Graham.
“I’ll try not to.”
——
“First thing’s first, rookie--” Graham said as they sat down.
Emma glared. “Don’t call me that.”
Graham gave a short laugh. He then pointed at her sandwich. “PB&J, I’m guessing?” Emma nodded. “You’re going to get real sick of those real fast. After a month of PB&Js, you’re never going to want to look at a jar of peanut butter ever again, so quit while you’re ahead.”
“But this is all I know how to make…” Emma muttered, looking at her lunch disdainfully.
“Take cooking classes, then. Or switch up sandwich types every day. You could have ham and cheese, salami and cheese, fluffernutter, bacon and eggs… the possibilities are endless— well, nearly endless.” He took out his own meal of leftover pasta and started digging in. “Second thing— if you’re going to work here, you’re going to need to know the ins and outs for both students and staff. The ‘do’s and the ‘don’t’s. ”
“Well I already crossed the ‘don’t’ line with one lady today,” Emma grumbled.
Graham gave her a look. “Already?” He laughed. “As long as it wasn’t Regina Mills’ bad side you got on, you’ll be fine. Everyone else is pretty good with the concept of forgive and forget. Regina, though… she holds grudges.” He cleared his throat and pointed at a short, bearded man sitting by himself at the corner table, glaring around the room. “See that man over there?”
“Yeah…”
“That’s Leroy. He’s the janitor. Bit of a grumpy man, but he’ll also stick up for you in times of trouble, especially if you stay on his good side.”
Emma watched as another teacher nearly fled after getting stared down by the grumpy janitor. “How do you even get on his good side?”
“Alcohol,” Graham stated bluntly. “A group of us go out to drinks every other Friday. You should join us some time.”
“I’ll consider it,” Emma said. It would be good for her to make some friends here.
“See that girl over there by the window reading?” Graham asked, pointing to a woman a few feet from Leroy’s spot. “That’s Belle. She’s the librarian. Quiet lass, she is. She has a twin, Lacey, who works at the bar we go to on Fridays. Lacey is nothing like her sister, though. She’s all fiery temper and she has a great ass and is… sexy as hell.”
Emma snorted. “Typical male,” she muttered.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Graham asked.
Emma shrugged. “I’m just saying— males are always focused on the sexual, physical aspects of females. It’s never about their interests and hobbies, or favorite color, or anything like that. It’s always about pretty faces and big tits and asses.”
Graham looked almost offended. “Hey, not all men—”
“Cut it there, Officer,” Emma warned. “It’s that kind of attitude that would make sure you never get into bed with a girl like Lacey.”
“That’s not the only thing keeping me from her bed,” Graham muttered, though the corners of his mouth twitched upward into an almost smirk. Emma gave him a look. “There’s actually a good story behind how we all found out about it. I’ll have to tell you sometime.”
Emma furrowed her eyebrows. “Graham—”
“She’s gay,” Graham interrupted.
It was Emma’s turn to smirk now. “Well one of us has a chance, then.”
Graham turned to her with a puzzled expression. “Are you…?”
Emma nodded. “Yep. Gay as a flaming unicorn on a rainbow.” She smirked again. “There’s a funny story behind how I realized that. I’ll have to tell you sometime,” she said, echoing his earlier words.
“Funny story behind what?” a new voice asked as two lunch bags were set down on the table across from Emma and Graham.
Emma looked up at the new visitors. The woman who had spoken had long, straight brown hair with a red streak in it. Emma was jealous of how well the woman pulled off the bright red lipstick she was wearing to match the hair. Next to her was a petite brunette with a pixie cut.
“Ruby,” the woman with the red streak said, flashing a bright smile and sticking her hand out. “Ruby Lucas,” she finished as Emma shook her hand. Ruby jutted a finger at the petite brunette next to her. “I’m her student teacher.”
“Mary Margaret Blanchard,” the other woman greeted. “I teach the home economics classes. You must be the new P.E. teacher!”
“Emma Swan,” Emma replied with a nod. “It’s good to meet you guys.”
“Same,” Ruby replied with a genuine smile. “So, what’s the funny story you were just talking about?” she asked as she took out her lunch.
Emma shrugged nonchalantly as she took another bite of her sandwich. “The story of me coming out.”
Ruby’s grin widened. “Ooh, do tell.”
Just as Emma opened up her mouth to talk, the door to the faculty lounge opened and silence descended on the room. Emma’s eyes widened as green eyes met brown: It was the woman whose car she hit. She gave Emma a stone cold glare before turning and walking towards the microwave.
Conversations started up once more. Ruby leaned forward. “I heard some sucker hit her car this morning in the parking lot,” she said in a fashion that reminded Emma a little too much of high school gossip. “I feel bad for whoever did it.”
Graham noticed Emma’s sheepish face. “Your incident this morning didn’t involve her, did it?”
Emma nodded somewhat shyly. “It may have been me…” Three pairs of eyes widened at the table. “But it was an accident! Besides, my car was the only one hurt!” She looked over at the brunette whose back was still turned away. “Who is she, anyway?”
Graham looked over and smiled. “That’s Regina Mills.”
“You mean… the woman you said holds grudges?”
Graham gave a short laugh. “Oh yeah. She teaches the business classes and AP Statistics. She’s feared by teachers and students alike,” he said with a laugh.
Emma raised an eyebrow. “Except you, I take it?”
“Yep,” Graham affirmed with a cocky grin.
“Graham’s never really been afraid of Regina,” Ruby said with a sly smile. “But then again, it’s hard to be afraid of someone after you sleep with them a few dozen times.”
Emma narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you two… together?”
Graham blushed slightly and shook his head. “No.” He took a bite of his food and swallowed. “Not anymore, at least. We had a little… fling… when I first started working here a couple of years ago. It ended midway through the last school year.”
“Why’d you end it?”
“She realized she—” He stopped abruptly. “I’m not actually sure I’m allowed to share that…”
“What?” Emma asked curiously.
“No, I can’t.”
“Who am I going to tell? I’m the new girl. You guys are the only ones I really know!” Emma insisted. Graham shook his head.
Now Ruby and Mary Margaret were curious, too. “You can’t just start saying something and then take it back!” Ruby exclaimed.
Graham gave her a look. “I shouldn’t have even started telling you guys. Just… let it go.”
“Does she have an STD?” Emma guessed.
Graham choked on his drink. “What? No!”
“Is she dying?” Mary Margaret asked quietly, her eyes big with worry.
“No! Guys—”
“Is she secretly married?”
“Ruby, I swear to—” Graham stopped and rubbed his face with his hand. “It’s not bad, I promise. But it’s not my place to tell. If she wants you to know, she’ll tell you. Okay?”
“Fine,” Ruby grumbled. She poked at her meatloaf, which looked less than edible. “I’m going to see if Granny will make me something good to eat,” she announced, standing up and packing up her stuff. “I’ll see you back in the room next period,” she told Mary Margaret. “It was nice to meet you, Emma!” she flashed a dazzling smile at the blonde. “Bye!”
“Bye,” the other three echoed as the tall brunette walked out the door.
“Who’s Granny?” Emma asked.
“The head cook,” Mary Margaret said, “and, coincidentally, Ruby’s grandmother. Everyone calls her Granny, though. She makes really good lasagna on Fridays. You should try it some time.” She looked at the clock started packing up her stuff. “I almost forgot— I have to go and meet with a student before lunch ends. I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah, sure,” Emma said, waving to her as she left. She turned to Graham. “They seem friendly enough.”
“They’re a couple of good people,” Graham agreed. “Ruby gets a little carried away with gossip sometimes and Mary Margaret thinks she’s a saint and can’t keep a secret to save a life, but overall they’re good.”
They ate the rest of their lunch in silence. It was when they were headed out the door that the silence was disrupted.
“Officer Humbert!” a student called out as she burst through the door. “There’s a fight in B hallway—”
Graham nodded. “On it,” he said, jogging towards the hallway. Emma noticed the rest of the teachers seemed to be following him, so she went along as well.
When she got there, Graham had already pried one boy away and was holding him away from whomever he was attacking. Emma noticed the boy was rather small for a high schooler.
Kathryn pushed through the crowd and sighed at the sight of the small boy. “I thought we went over this—”
“Henry?” a new voice interjected. Emma saw Regina step up beside Kathryn and move towards the small boy. She touched his face in a manner that seemed a little too familiar for a teacher.
The small boy, Henry, pushed her hands away. “Get off me!” He backed away from her with a glare that could rival Leroy’s, but not quite rival Regina’s. Emma noticed a hurt look flash across Regina’s face.
Meanwhile, Kathryn had helped the other boy stand. Emma noticed he had a bloodied lip and his eye was bruising.
Kathryn gestured with my hand. “To my office, boys.”
Graham went with Kathryn and the boys, keeping himself near Henry. The bell rang and the rest of the crowd dispersed, with some students grumbling about how the fight ended too quickly and others recounting the event with excitement. The hallway had cleared except for Emma and Regina, who still had a hurt look on her face.
Emma slowly walked up to her. “Hey, you okay? Do you… want to talk?” she offered, unsure of what to say to the woman who clearly was upset but also clearly disliked (or maybe even hated) Emma.
Regina looked up and, for a brief moment, Emma saw anguish in her eyes, but the look was soon replaced with Regina’s usual hard glare. “You should go supervise your class, Miss Swan,” she said, pushing past Emma and leaving her alone in the hallway.
——
“You are free to go see Mr. Whale, Nicholas,” Kathryn said. The boy nodded and held a hand tentatively to his tender, still bleeding lip as he left her office. Kathryn turned her attention to the other boy seated across from her. “Henry… it’s the first day of school. Last year you promised--”
The boy let his guard down and heaved a big sigh. “I know I promised I wouldn’t fight. But… I couldn’t help it. Nicholas—”
“It doesn’t matter what Nicholas did, lad,” Graham interrupted. “You shouldn’t have resorted to fighting like you did. Your mother—”
“I don’t care about my mother,” Henry snarled.
“Don’t say that, Henry,” Kathryn chastised. She hated hearing him talk about her best friend like that. “She loves you—”
“No she doesn’t!” Henry interjected. “She doesn’t care about anything! Have you ever even seen her love something? It’s not possible!”
“Yes it is, Henry,” Kathryn said softly. “I’ve known your mother for a long time. She loved your father very much. And she has loved you since before you were even born, and she will continue to love you for as long as she lives.”
Henry shifted in his seat. “No she won’t. I’m only a disappointment to her. She said it herself,” he muttered.
“She didn’t say you were a disappointment. She said she was disappointed in your actions,” Graham said, “and you know it was because you got into another fight right after the incident with August.”
Henry become somber at the mention of the other boy. “It was an accident…”
“It doesn’t matter, Henry. You can’t keep doing this,” Kathryn said softly. She went over to a file cabinet and pulled out a rather thick manila folder and placed it on her desk. She flipped through until she found the page she was looking for and gave a soft sigh. “This is your fifth fight in the past year, Henry. I don’t know how to convince you to stop. I’ve given you detentions, in school suspensions, out of school suspensions… the next step is expulsion, Henry. I technically should’ve already expelled you, but I didn’t because I know you’re a good student. I know you can do better.” She sighed again. “I’ll let you off with a two week suspension Henry. But I will warn you— if I see you in my office again for another fight, I will have no choice but to expel you.”
“Yes, Principal Midas,” Henry said softly.
“I also want you to stop by Hopper’s office twice a week and talk to him. Maybe he can help you sort through… everything.” She exchanged a look with Henry and he understood what she meant.
“Okay,” he replied in the same soft voice.
“Okay,” she replied with a small smile. “You can go to your afternoon classes, but I want you back in my office at 3:00 when the bell rings. I’ll need to talk with you and your mother.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill,” he huffed as he stood up and walked out.
As soon as the door shut, Graham released a deep breath. “Regina’s going to be furious.”
“She has a right to be,” Kathryn said, running a hand through her hair. “God this is all just so…”
“Fucked up?” Graham offered with a short laugh. “It definitely is. At least Nicholas is okay. Henry might be in worse shape than he is— emotionally, that is.”
“And Regina’s not going to be much better at this point,” Kathryn said sadly.
“Do you want me here after school for the lad and Regina?”
Kathryn nodded. “It might be for the best.” She swiveled in her chair, facing him directly. Her phone started to ring, and Graham took that as his sign to leave. “I’ll see you at three.”
——
The last school bell of the day rang and Emma put all of the equipment back into the storage locker. She had just tucked in the last basketball when she realized it was 3:28 and she had a follow up meeting with the principal at 3:30.
She rushed through the halls to the office. As she rounded the corner to the entrance to the front office section, she saw the boy from earlier— Henry— rushing out of the room and slamming the front doors open, stomping through as he left the building.
Emma continued into the front office, noting that the principal’s office door was open, and Regina was sitting in a chair in front of Kathryn’s desk, slumped over with her head in her hands. Graham was standing by and had a hand on her shoulder. He glanced over and noticed Emma, his eyes widening as he quickly murmured something to the other two women in the room. Regina sat up rigidly before standing and smoothing down her dress. Kathryn stood and placed a hand comfortingly on Regina’s arm as she said something. Regina nodded stiffly before running her hands down her dress and turning quickly on her heel.
“Hey,” Emma said weakly as Regina passed.
“Miss Swan,” she greeted stoically without looking at her as she passed by. Emma noted the puffy eyes and red cheeks, but said nothing, instead turning back towards Kathryn’s office.
Graham gave her a kind nod and an uncomfortable smile as she walked in. “Emma.” He looked back at Kathryn, who was still standing by the chair Regina had just vacated. “Tomorrow, then?”
Kathryn nodded, and Graham exited, closing the door behind him. “Please, have a seat,” Kathryn said, gesturing towards the chair.
Emma did so, shifting uncomfortably as Kathryn stood there for a moment longer, releasing a deep breath before walking behind her desk and taking a seat.
“So,” Kathryn said as she settled back down. “How was your first day?”
——
It had been a month since her first day and Emma was loving her new job. The kids were great, her coworkers were fun— well, most of her coworkers were fun. Regina still wouldn’t spare her even a passing glance.
Emma didn’t mind, though. She was happy to have friends to sit with at lunch, to go out to the bar with on Friday nights, and to… listen to them complain about their love life.
“I’m telling you, I did everything right,” Graham said. “I held the door open for her, I bought her flowers, I paid for the meal, I walked her to her door— we kissed! Why won’t she text me back?” He plopped his head onto his hand, moping as he moved his food around with his fork with his other hand.
Emma scoffed at him. “Get a grip, Graham,” she said as she unwrapped her sandwich—a BLT— and picked up one half. “You sound like a teenage girl.”
“Did I wait too long to text her?” Graham asked, continuing as if she hadn’t said anything. “Three days is the right amount of time… right?”
“Dude, that rule is the dumbest thing ever,” Emma said with her mouth half full. “Text her when you want. Don’t wait because your dude bros told you to. It makes it seem like you care less if you wait that long.”
Graham looked up at her. “It does?” He slumped back in his seat. “Shoot. I guess it is my fault.”
Emma shook her head. “I swear, Graham… How in the hell did you manage to work out a relationship with Regina if you can’t even text a girl in a timely fashion?”
Graham laughed at that. “You know that’s a pretty good question.”
“No wonder she dumped you,” Emma joked.
“Okay, no, she didn’t dump me because of me,” Graham said. “She had her reasons, and while I was technically one of them, I also wasn’t.”
Emma’s forehead creased and she shook her head. “What does that even mean?!”
Before Graham could answer the door to the faculty lounge swung open and the woman in question appeared, marching over regally to the microwave. She stopped as she noticed the sign on it saying that it was broken. Regina huffed and looked down at her tupperware container.
“Shit,” Graham murmured. “She doesn’t like it when her schedule is disrupted.” At Emma’s look he added, “She always uses that microwave for her food. Her lasagna’s not as good when it’s cold.”
“I have a microwave in my office that works,” Emma said. She glanced back at the brunette. “Should I go offer it?”
Graham shrugged. “It might actually get you on her neutral side.”
Emma sat back in her chair. “Or maybe I’ll let her suffer like she’s let me suffer.”
Graham rolled his eyes. “Now who’s acting like a teenager?” He glanced behind Emma and gave a wave. “Regina!” He gestured towards them.
“Yes, Officer?” she asked, pointedly not looking at Emma.
“Couldn’t help but notice the microwave is having issues,” Graham said.
“Your point being?”
Graham looked at Emma, raising an eyebrow at her. She glared back at him. He gave her a look and she sighed, looking up at Regina.
“I have a microwave in my office,” Emma said stiffly. “You can use it if you’d like.”
Regina seemed surprised by the offer. “Thank you, Miss Swan.”
“Door’s unlocked,” Emma said.
“You keep your office door unlocked when you’re not there?”
Aaaand there it was. “Yeah? What are they going to steal? My instruction booklets on thigh stretches?”
Graham snickered at that, and Emma noticed that Regina’s face turned a little pink.
“Right,” Regina said quietly. She turned and walked out of the lounge without another word.
When Emma got back to her office after lunch, she noticed a little sticky note attached to the microwave.
Thank you again, Miss Swan. And don’t worry— I didn’t steal any ‘thigh stretch’ booklets from you. At least not today.
——
Another two weeks had passed since the microwave incident. The incident that had sparked Emma’s imagination into wondering what the hell Regina meant by her note.
She was so distracted in her thoughts she didn’t hear the shouts or see the dodgeball coming towards her until it was too late. The ball slammed into the side of her face, knocking her slightly off balance.
“I’m so sorry, Miss Swan!”
Emma rubbed her face and looked over to the apologizer. It was Henry Mills, looking absolutely terrified as he looked at what she could imagine was a very nasty looking welt on the side of her face.
“Great job, dumbass!” another boy in the class said with a smirk. Emma noticed how Henry cringed at the sound of his voice.
“Can it, Peter,” Emma responded. The bell rang at that moment. “Alright, guys, get going. I’ll be fine. I’ve had worse,” she said with a smile. The class started to disperse. “Henry, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Henry nodded, standing by quietly and ignoring the taunts from Peter as he grabbed his stuff and left. “I’m really sorry, Miss Swan,” he said quietly.
“Trust me, Henry, I’m not worried about this,” Emma said, gesturing to her face. “Come with me to my office.” She led him in there, where she grabbed an ice pack from the freezer before plopping down at her chair. “Take a seat, kid.”
He dutifully sat down, his leg jiggling nervously as he stared down at his hands in his lap.
“Are you… having problems, kid?” Emma asked tentatively.
He shook his head. “No. I’ve never really been that good at sports. My mom tried to get me to play baseball when I was a kid but I couldn’t throw straight so I quit—”
“Not with sports,” Emma interrupted, briefly imagining stoic Regina playing catch in the yard with a smaller version of Henry. “With Peter.”
Henry immediately tensed. “…No. He’s just like that to everyone.”
“Is he?”
The teen took a breath and shook his head. “He hates me because of my mom. She was failing him and he got kicked off the baseball team freshman year.”
“As an athlete, he should know to keep his grades up,” Emma pointed out. “And there’s no reason to blame you for what is ultimately his fault.”
Henry shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
“If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here,” Emma said sincerely.
“Thanks,” he said with a small smile. He glanced at the clock. “Would it be okay if I stayed here for lunch? That’s when he usually…”
Emma nodded. “Absolutely. And if he asks, just tell him I gave you detention or something.”
He gave her a look that looked too much like Regina. “Would you actually give a kid detention for hitting you with a dodgeball?”
“No,” Emma said honestly, “but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?”
Henry grinned. “Right.”
——
Emma was packing up her bag at the end of the day, getting ready to head back to her apartment, when the door to her office flew open with a bang. She jumped a bit and looked up to see Regina standing there with a new and much more fierce form of rage on her face.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Going home?” Emma said as she started to feel her defensive stance come up. “Do you have a problem with that?”
Regina slammed her hands on the desk and put her face right up on Emma’s. “I have a problem with you giving my son a detention for no damn reason.”
“No damn reason?” Emma countered. She could tell the truth, but Regina’s anger has now added to Emma’s own. “He threw a dodgeball at my head.”
“Maybe if you had paid attention you wouldn’t have been hit,” the brunette snarled back. “Do your job and this wouldn’t happen.”
“Why don’t you do your job and pay attention to your son for once?”
Regina was taken aback by that comment. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Emma stood back and ran a hand over her face. “Look, he’s having a rough time with another student. I just gave him a place where he could get away from it.” She looked back over at Regina, her voice softening. “It wasn’t a real detention. He’s not a bad kid, Regina.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “He hasn’t said anything about… struggling.”
Emma looked across at her. “Regina… it’s not your fa—”
“I will see you tomorrow, Miss Swan,” she interrupted, turning and marching swiftly out the door before Emma could say anything.
——
“You told my mom about Peter,” Henry muttered in her office two days later.
Emma didn’t know how to react to the confrontation. “I… I said what I needed to after she came in and yelled at me for giving you detention. I know it wasn’t my place to tell her about your issues—”
“It wasn’t,” Henry interrupted. “But… I understand why.” He pulled out his lunch and started to settle in.
Emma pulled out her own. “Did she talk to you about it?”
“A little,” he said. “She doesn’t really know what to do. I told her I’ve been talking to Dr. Hopper about it.”
“That’s good,” Emma said. “That’s really good. It’s progress.”
Henry shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Emma leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm. “She’s trying, Henry.”
Henry thought about it before giving a small smile. “Yeah, I guess she is.”
——
“You headed out soon?” Robin asked as he locked up his door.
Emma shook her head as she continued to stretch. “Nah, I figured I’d stick around and use the free weights while I can.”
Robin chuckled. “Understandable. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“See you,” Emma said with a brief wave as she bent forward to touch her toes. She looked at the clock and noticed it was already 5:00— most teachers would be gone by now. She shrugged off her shirt, leaving just a sports bra and her spandex pants. No one would be around, anyway, and if there were people there certainly weren’t any students.
She finished up her stretching and walked over to the weights, picking one up and beginning her workout. She was just finishing up and putting the equipment away when she heard the clack of heels echoing across the gym floor.
Locking up the weight room, Emma turned and wiped her towel across her face, trying to at least pretend to look presentable as the brunette walked over to her.
“Hey, Regina,” she greeted breathlessly.
Regina paused in her steps, drawing her gaze down across Emma’s body. Emma started to feel self conscious and wrapped the towel around her shoulders, holding it so her arms blocked off part of her body.
“Miss Swan,” Regina finally greeted, her eyes snapping back up to meet Emma’s. “What are you still doing here?”
“Working out,” Emma said, gesturing to her sweaty and athletic-wear-clad body.
Regina glanced down again, her lips opening minutely. Emma saw the slightest twitch of an eyebrow as Regina’s eyes locked onto her abs before looking back up at Emma. “I can see that.”
There was an awkward pause. “Did you… need something?” Emma asked uncertainly.
“I was simply wondering if Henry was here,” Regina said. “He wasn’t in the library, where he usually is after school, and I didn’t know if he decided to come and join you again.” She shifted uncomfortably. “I can see that he is not, so I will go check… elsewhere.”
“Sure,” Emma said, not sure what she was agreeing to. “Sorry I couldn’t have been more help.”
Regina plastered a fake smile on her face. “No worries, Miss Swan. I will see you tomorrow.” With that, she turned around sharply and walked out of the gym, leaving Emma to wonder what the hell just happened.
——
Emma was sitting at lunch again with Graham, and this time Ruby had joined them.
“Did you hear about Mary-Margaret and David?” Ruby asked with a sly grin.
Graham’s eyes widened. “No, what?”
“Wait— who’s David?” Emma asked.
Ruby looked around quickly before leaning in. “David’s Principal Midas’ ex-husband. Their divorce was fine— no harsh feelings on either side— but Leroy said that he overheard Belle telling Archie that she found them messing around in the art closet the other day after hours…”
“No!” Graham whispered in shock.
Ruby nodded. “Oh yeah. Belle’s been avoiding them ever since.”
The door to the lounge opened up at that moment and Regina strutted in with her usual grace. She looked over and caught eyes with Emma, giving her a small, polite smile before continuing over to the microwave.
“Did she just… did she just smile at you?” Ruby asked.
Emma shrugged. “Yeah, what’s the big deal?”
“She never smiles at anyone, unless it’s a ‘I’m going to destroy your happiness’ kind of smile,” Ruby said with a glance towards the brunette still standing by the microwave.
Emma snorted. “She’s not some… evil queen, you know.” She gave another shrug. “She’s just… human, like the rest of us.”
Ruby raised her eyebrows at that, before her eyes widened and a grin split her face. She let out a laugh before covering her mouth.
“What?” Emma asked, getting insulted on Regina’s behalf. “You don’t think she has feelings like the rest of us?”
“Oh, no, nothing like that,” Ruby said, shaking her head. She leaned forward. “You totally like her!”
Graham shifted uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat and looking everywhere but at the two of them.
“I do not!” Emma said. “She’s… well, I guess we’re… really good acquaintances? Maybe friends?”
“Girlfriends,” Ruby said with a little cackle. “You guys are totally—”
“Who are girlfriends?” a deep voice asked from behind Emma. She turned to see Regina standing there with her fresh-out-of-the-microwave lunch.
“Uh— nobody,” Emma said unconvincingly.
Regina raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that so?”
“Lacey!” Ruby intercepted. “Uh, yeah! Lacey, you know, from the bar? She and Emma are totally like…” She interlocked her fingers. “Tight. Yep. Totally made for each other.”
Emma shook her head at the younger woman. “What…?”
“I wasn’t aware you were into the fairer sex, Miss Swan,” Regina said darkly, her eyes trained on Emma’s.
“Are you kidding?” Ruby snorted. “She’s as gay as they come.”
“Thanks, Rubes,” Emma muttered.
“Well,” Regina said coolly. “You could do much better than Lacey, my dear.” She turned and left the room without another word.
All three of the people sitting at the table stared at the door that she just exited out of.
“Did she just… come on to me?” Emma asked.
Ruby laughed. “Yep.” She sighed and went back to her lunch. “You know, if I didn’t know Mills better, I’d say she was crushing hard on you.”
Emma continued to stare at the door for a moment longer. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “Me, too.”
——
It was Friday night and the bar was slower than usual. Ruby and Graham were finishing up a game of pool at one end, while Emma sat by herself at the bar, nursing the third beer she’d had since they arrived.
“Need anything stronger?”
Emma looked up to see Lacey standing behind the bar, drying off a glass. Emma shook her head. “Nah, not tonight.”
“Love problems?” the bartender asked.
“How…?”
Lacey gave a comforting smile. “When you’ve been bartending as long as I have, you’ve seen it all.”
Emma tilted her head in acknowledgement. She took another sip of her beer. “I’m just… falling for straight girls. You know how it is.”
“Oh don’t I,” Lacey said with a roll of her eyes. “I hate it so much, because by the time you find out there’s no way you have a chance… you’re already too far gone.”
Emma nodded her head in agreement. “Yep.” She slumped down a little, resting her head on one of her hands. “I just… she’s really pretty? And her son is awesome and I think we could totally have a cute little family…”
Lacey gave a little chuckle. “Yep. You’ve got it bad.” She wiped down the counter next to Emma. “My advice? Distance yourself while you can, before you get too deep.”
Emma swirled her drink around, watching the beer rush in circles. “I might already be too deep.”
——
Emma heard a familiar voice shouting on the other end of the gym. She looked over to see Regina standing tensely in front of Robin. Emma tried to ignore them as she kept cleaning up the equipment left behind from the school day. It became difficult, however, when Regina’s voiced raised and started echoing around the gymnasium.
“I have told you on multiple occasions that I am not interested—”
“And you still have yet to give me a reasonable answer!” Robin retorted. “I know your type, Regina. I know of your past relationship with Officer Graham—”
“Which, may I remind you, is none of your business,” she snarled back at him.
Robin sighed loudly. “Regina, come on— one date. I’ll pay for everything. I promise it’ll be the best night—”
“I highly doubt that,” Regina interrupted. She took a deep breath and let it out, calming herself down internally. When she spoke again, Emma had to strain to hear her. “Look, if it was a different time in my life, I would probably accept the offer. But since I can guarantee nothing’s going to come of it—”
Robin interrupted her this time. “Seriously?” Now his voice was raised. “You basically just admitted we would work together!”
“In the past, yes. Perhaps. But not now!”
“Why the hell not?” he yelled.
“Because I’m gay!”
Silence descended in the gymnasium. Emma stopped in her tracks and dropped the basketball that was in her hand. The noise grabbed the attentions of the feuding duo at the other end of the gym. Emma watched as Regina’s features quickly morphed into something Emma couldn’t quite figure out before Regina turned on a heel and marched out of the room.
Robin stood still for a few minutes before retreating into his office, muttering to himself and shaking his head.
Emma stood stunned for a minute before going back to grab the basketball she dropped. She held onto it, staring at the ball but not focusing on it as her thoughts jumbled up in her brain.
Gay? As in… likes girls? As in… prefers to be in relationships with girls…
I’m a girl. I like girls. I like Regina, specifically. But do I even stand a chance with her?
Why had she kept it a secret all this time?
A voice interrupted Emma’s thoughts. “Hey, Emma! You ready yet?” Graham came up to Emma and noticed her expression. “You okay?”
Emma lifted her gaze to meet his. “She’s… she’s gay?”
Graham’s eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. “She told you?”
“Not… exactly…” Emma trailed off. “Wait, how do you know? When were you going to tell me?”
“I told you, it’s not my place to tell.”
Emma remembered their conversation from her first day. “That’s the reason you two broke up?”
Graham nodded. “Yeah. She was wondering why we weren’t connecting the way she thought we should have and she realized her sexuality wasn’t what she thought it was.”
“So she’s gay gay?”
Graham sighed. “Yes, Emma, she’s gay gay, whatever that means. She likes ladies as much as I like ladies.”
“And as much as I like ladies,” Emma said softly.
“You got it so bad,” Graham said, shaking his head with a smile.
She nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I do.” She smiled. “But at least now I know I have a chance.”
——
She was sitting in her office the next morning when she heard a soft knock on the door. She looked up and saw Regina standing there.
“Hi,” Emma said with a smile.
Regina let out a breath. “Hello, Miss Swan.” She stood there awkwardly in the doorway.
“C’mon in,” Emma said, standing up and walking to the other side of her desk before leaning back on it, her legs crossed at her ankles.
Regina took a step in, her hands still stuffed deep into the pockets of her jacket. She pointedly looked everywhere but at Emma.
“What can I do for you?” Emma prompted, feeling the tension in the other woman seep into her.
“I…” Regina paused. “I want to talk about what you… may have overheard yesterday afternoon.” She took her hands out of her pockets and started to intertwine them nervously in front of her stomach. “I’m not… usually so… blasé about my…” She coughed before finally looking up to meet Emma’s eyes. “I just would prefer that you kept that information to yourself.”
Emma nodded. “Of course. I’m not going to out you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be forced into saying something you’re not ready to say yet.” She stood up straight. “But… if you don’t mind me saying—”
“I do mind, Miss Swan,” Regina interrupted, crossing her arms over her chest and putting up her usual defensive mask. “My sexuality is of no concern to anyone, nor do I need any so-called advice from you.”
Her words hit Emma hard, causing the blonde to look down and bite her lip in frustration. “Fine,” she said quietly, looking back up at Regina with a hard glare. “Forgive me for trying to be a friend.” She walked back around her desk and sat down roughly in her chair. “If you don’t mind, I have a lot of paperwork to fill out.”
Regina stood there for a moment longer, looking like she was about to say something more, before turning and leaving.
——
For the next two weeks, Emma avoided Regina as much as possible. She sat with her back to the microwave at lunch (when she actually chose to eat lunch in the faculty lounge), she left as soon as she could at the end of the day, and she changed the subject whenever Graham decided to bring her up.
She knew it couldn’t last forever, though, and her plans were foiled at exactly 3:03 that day. Three minutes after school ended, and 27 before Emma could officially go home.
The door to her office burst open and Regina strode in, closing the door behind her.
“Why yes, do come in, make yourself at home,” Emma said sarcastically.
“This needs to stop,” Regina said sharply.
Emma rolled her eyes. “Sorry I don’t wait on you hand and foot like all the other teachers—”
“No, not that,” Regina said, walking up to stand right in front of Emma’s desk. “This… thing between you and I.”
“What, our acquaintanceship?” Emma asked. “I’m not sure we could get much lower without becoming enemies— unless that’s what you want, that is.”
Regina sighed. “I am sorry for what I said to you, Miss Swan. I did not mean it the way it came out. I do… like our friendship, and I wish for us to be friends again. I am simply… defensive.”
“You think?”
It was Regina’s turn to roll her eyes. “Miss Swan, I am trying to apologize.”
Emma leaned back in her chair. “You never even call me by my first name, how are we supposed to be friends?”
Regina huffed. “Emma.” She raised her eyebrows. “Happy?”
Emma smiled. “Yes, quite frankly I am.”
“Good.” There was a moment of silence between the two. “So… apology accepted?”
“I…” Emma paused. “As long as you promise not to get all weird and defensive about being gay. I know what it’s like to be closeted. I just thought you could use someone who’s been through it to help you out.”
Regina nodded and gave an apologetic smile towards Emma. “I am sorry. I’ve known about my sexuality for nearly a year now, but I suppose I still worry about people’s reactions.”
“You don’t have to worry about mine,” Emma said with a comforting smile. “After all, it’d be pretty crazy for me to not accept you for who you are.” She gave a small laugh.
“I suppose it would,” Regina said, her smile widening. “So… you are… gay gay.”
Emma laughed. “Yes, I’m gay gay.” She gestured around her. “I mean, c’mon, I fit the best stereotype out there.”
Regina smiled, but this time it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “And are you… still in a relationship with Lacey?”
Emma’s forehead creased. “Lacey…?” She remembered their conversation months ago. “Oh! No, no no no.” She laughed. “No, that was all Ruby. She was trying to cover up the conversation we were having and that was her first thought.”
Regina raised an eyebrow. “So you are not with her?”
Emma shook her head. “No.”
“Good.”
Emma tilted her head. “Good?”
Regina nodded. “Yes.” She reached onto Emma’s desk and pulled a pen out of her haphazard jar and grabbed a sticky note, scribbling something down before holding the note and the pen out to Emma.
Emma took the piece of paper and noticed it was as phone number. “What’s this?”
“My number,” Regina said as if it was the most obvious thing (which it technically was). She thrust the pen towards Emma again. “If you would be so kind as to write yours down for me.”
“Uh— yeah, sure,” Emma said, taking the pen and scrawling her own number on another sticky note before handing it to Regina. “Can I ask what for?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Regina asked. “I’m asking you on a date, Emma.”
“Oh!” Emma said, startled by the revelation. “No… it wasn’t obvious.”
Regina tilted her head in confusion. “Oh. My bad.” She straightened her posture before looking back at Emma. “Emma, would you be interested in accompanying me on a date this weekend?”
Emma smiled. “Yes, yes I would.”
Regina smiled. “Good.” She held up the sticky note in her hand. “I have your number, and you have mine. I will text you with the details.”
“I look forward to it,” Emma said with a grin.
“Good,” Regina replied, suddenly looking nervous again. “Well… I will see you tomorrow.” She turned and walked out of the room.
“You most certainly will,” Emma said, looking down at the note cradled in her hand.
“Oh, and Miss Swan?”
Emma looked up to see Regina poking her head in the doorway. “Yeah?”
“Do try and watch where you’re driving this time.”
#swanqueenweek#swan queen#swan queen fanfic#emma swan#regina mills#ouat#mine#my writing#this is probably my longest oneshot ever#even though in all technicality it should be even longer
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Songs From 2018 (one per artist)
Another mixed bag of stuff i either enjoyed a lot, thought was excellent or interesting (regardless of taste… sort of), emerging artists to maybe look out for, and generally music that for whatever reason connected with me in some way, including the odd earworm i just couldn’t shake.
Hope you enjoy some of this too and find something new to be taken by.
There’s a spotify playlist (below) for easier listening but for the music that wasn’t on there, i’ve posted links next to them so do check them out!
Spotify:
(As ever…. as i don’t tumblr or blog or anything (besides this list), this won’t be seen by many (if any?) people so if you like it or think it’s of any worth in any way, please do share this along)
In Alphabetical order:
The 1975 - Love It If We Made It
700 Bliss - Ring The Alarm (Moor Mother & DJ Haram collab)
Advance Base - Your Dog (Owen Ashworth is a longtime favourite and always love what he puts out. Such a gifted lyricist and such an empathetic deliverer, just always cutting deep, just always sounding uniquely him. The records & artists he’s putting out on his Orindal footprint are really impressive too - Julie Byrne, Gia Margaret, Dear Nora - so do keep an eye out on those releases)
Aidan Moffat & RM Hubbert - Quantum Theory Love Song
Alasdair Roberts w/ Amble Skuse & David McGuiness -
a. The Fair Flower of Northumberland
b. Johnny O’the Brine
(One of my favourite records this year, a quietly inventive old folk beaut from one of my favourite singers on earth. Included two as a. exemplifies his singing that i love so much and b. better highlights the inventiveness of the record)
Alison Cotton - All Is Quiet At The Ancient Theatre
Amen Dunes - Miki Dora
Anderson .Paak - 6 Summers
Angelique Kidjo - Once In A Lifetime (From her complete re-imagining of the Talking Heads classic Remain In Light record, with all her Benin spirit infused)
Anna & Elizabeth - Mother In The Graveyard
Anna Calvi - As A Man
Aphex Twin - T69 Collapse
Aqueduct Ensemble - Cut Grass I
Arctic Monkeys - Four Out Of Five
Armand Hammer - Alternate Side Parking (Elucid & Billy Woods)
Arp - Reading a Wave
audiobooks - Call of Duty Free
Barry Walker - Late Heavy Bombardment
Beach House - Dive
Ben Vince - What I Can See ft. Micachu
Big Red Machine - Forest Green (Justin Vernon (Bon Iver) & Aaron Dessner (The National) project. I’m likely never not gonna be into Justin’s work, he’s always stretching himself with virtually no regard to expectation and always finding interesting and new spaces)
Birds Of Passage - Another Thousand Eyes
Black Midi - bmbmbm (Heard about them non-stop all year, about being this incredible live band, and all teenagers, so been intrigued for quite some time. Virtually no online presence, remaining somewhat mysterious, and only a couple of pieces to go by, but curious to see what’s coming from them)
https://soundcloud.com/speedywunderground/sw024-black-midi-bmbmbm
Blocks & Escher - One Touch
Blood Orange - Saint
Bodega - Name Escape
Bonny Doon - I Am Here (I Am Alive)
Bruce - Elo
Capitol K - Fennel Dance
Cat Power - Stay
Channel Tres - Controller
Chris Carter - Cernubicua
Christina Vantzou - Some Limited and Waning Memory
Christine & the Queens - 5 Dollars
Colter Wall - Wild Dogs
Cool Maritime - Mossage
Cornelia Murr - Man On My Mind
Courtney Marie Andrews - May Your Kindness Remain
Damien Jurado - The Last Great Washington State
Daniel Avery - Slow Fade
Daughters - Long Road, No Turns
David Thomas Broughton - Drifting Snow (An old, unreleased recording lying around, brought out as a seasonal single, and i think it’s beautiful. My favourite live performer, and i would encourage anyone who sees this to check him out both on record and if he's ever in a town near you.)
https://davidthomasbroughton.bandcamp.com/track/drifting-snow-seasonal-single
The Dead Tongues - Pale November Dew
Dear Nora - Simulation Feels (12 years away, and back after renewed interest in their re-issued Mountain Rock LP last year courtesy of Owen Ashworth’s (Advance Base) Orindal Records)
Deux Trois - Roy
DJ Koze - Muddy Funster ft. Kurt Wagner (It’s probably fair that “Pick Up” is the best song on the record, but I’m a sucker for Kurt so liked this one a lot too)
Dolphin Midwives - Mirror
Doug Paisley - Drinking With a Friend
Drinks - Real Outside
Durand Jones & The Indications - Don’t You Know
Earl Sweatshirt - Nowhere2go
Earth Eater - Inclined
Emily Fairlight - Body Below
Empress Of - When I’m With Him
Eric Chenaux - Wild Moon (Most likely my favourite record from this year, if not any it feels right now. I’m fully begulied by it. Fair play to you if you recognize the sounds you hear as a guitar!)
Erin Rae - Bad Mind
Erland Cooper - Solan Goose
Ezra Furman - Suck The Blood From My Wound
Fatoumata Diawara - Kanou Dan Yen
Field Report - Every Time
Flasher - Who’s Got Time?
Frog Eyes - Pay For Hire
Fucked Up - a. Normal People or b. Came Down Wrong ft. Jennifer Castle & J Mascis
Gabe Gurnsey - Ultra Clear Sound
Georgia Anne Muldrow - Blam
Gia Margaret - Groceries (Wonderful debut on Orindal)
Glenn Jones - The Giant Who Ate Himself
Grouper - Driving
Hailu Mergia - Tizita
Haley Heynderickx - Oom Sha La La
Hatchie - Sure
Helena Hauff - Hyper-Intelligent Genetically Enriched Cyborg
Hen Ogledd - Etheldreda (The great Richard Dawson’s experimental group, connecting the ancient/medieval with the present in a way that definitely rewards with more listens)
Hermit & The Recluse - Sirens (New project from the rapper Ka, who continues to fascinate, with producer Animoss. This time the concept record combining his personal street stories with Greek mythology, with Orpheus vs The Sirens)
Hilary Woods - Kith
Homeboy Sandman & Edan - #NeverUseTheInternetAgain (Nice to hear Edan once again after so long, and especially with a favourite of mine in Homeboy Sandman)
Ian William Craig - Discovered In Flat
Idles - Danny Nedelko (Probably my favourite song of the year, and one of the most beautiful, impassioned & dearly needed statements of love & community we need right now. The video moved me to damned tears, it’s so beautiful)
The Innocence Mission - Green Bus
Institute of Landscape Architecture - Melting Landscapes (field recordings documenting Alpine glaciers and their changing landscape)
https://landscapearchitecture.bandcamp.com/releases
James Blake - If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead
Janelle Monáe - Make Me Feel
Jean Grae & Quelle Chris - Gold Purple Orange
Jeff Tweedy - I Know What It’s Like
Jennifer Castle - Tomorrow’s Mourning
Jenny Hval - Sleep
Jeremy Dutcher - Mehcinut
Jerry David DiCicca - Watermelon
Jessica Pratt - This Time Around (Massive fan of Jessica and this is without doubt one of my absolute favourite songs this year)
JFDR - My Work (String Version/Live)
John Prine - Summer’s End
Jon Hopkins - Emerald Rush
Joseph Shabason - Forest Run (From his 2nd record, Anne, a touching record on his mother’s Parkinson’s Disease featuring interviews with her over his ambient, sax-effected work)
JPEGMAFIA - 1539 N. Calvert
Julia Holter - I Shall Love 2
Julia Jacklin - Head Alone
Kacey Musgraves - Slow Burn (I was late to this record, but i may have listened to it more than any other come December-time.)
Kadhja Bonet - Delphine
Kamasi Washington - Fists of Fury
Kathryn Joseph - From When I Wake The Want Is
Kelsey Lu - Shades Of Blue
Khruangbin - Maria También
Kim Petras - Heart To Break (There’s actually a chance this is my favourite song of the year)
Kurt Vile - Bassackwards
Lambchop - The December-ish You
Landless - The Trees They Grow Tall
Laura Cannell & André Bosman - Golden Lanes At Dusk
Laurence Pike - Life Hacks
Leikeli47 - Girl Blunt
Let’s Eat Grandma - Falling Into Me
Lisa O’Neil - Factory Girl [trad]
Lizzo - Boys
Lonnie Holley - I Woke Up In A Fucked-Up America
Louis Cole - Real Life ft. Brad Mehldau
Low - Quorum
Lucinda Chua - Whatever It Takes (experimental cellist & composer who, as well as making expansive, looped soundscapes, also writes and sings in an equally spellbinding fashion)
Lucy Dacus - Night Shift
LUMP - May I Be The Light (Laura Marling & Tuung’s Mike Lindsay collab)
Maarja Nuut & Ruum - Kuud Kuulama
Maggie Rogers - Fallingwater
Makaya McCraven - Butterss’s
Malibu Ken - Acid King (Aesop Rock & Tobacco collab)
Marie Davidson - Work It
Marisa Anderson - Cloud Corner
Mary Lattimore - It Feels Like Floating
Maxine Funke - a. Boy On The Bow or b. One Step
a. https://maxinefunke1.bandcamp.com/track/boy-on-the-bow
b. https://maxinefunke1.bandcamp.com/track/one-step
Mich Cota - Kijà/Care (Two-spirit Canadian Algonquin artist who, after seeing her supporting Baby Dee at Cafe Oto very recently, had me excited for the bangers to come!)
Michael Nau - Funny Wind
Milo - Stet
Miss Red - Dagga
Mitski - Nobody
Moses Sumney - Rank and File
Moulay Ahmed El Hassani - Yak Ennas Mlklil Darou Labas
Mount Eerie - Tintin In Tibet
Mountain Man - Rang Tang Ring Toon (8 years since their last record, and so good to hear their harmonies once again. Ever as beautiful and transportive, but this time more wiser. It’s a really lovely record and such a needed balm)
Nap Eyes - Every Time The Feeling
Nathan Bowles - Now If You Remember (Didn’t know this was a cover, originally by Julie Tippetts, but it lodged itself in my head pretty good. Aquarium Drunkard rightly suggested an album or two back that, if Banjo Futurism is a thing then Nathan Bowles would likely be leading the pack. The remainder of this record definitely reflects that)
Nathan Salsburg - Impossible Air
The Necks - Body
https://thenecksau.bandcamp.com/album/body
Neko Case - Hell-On
Nils Frahm - My Friend The Forest
Noname - Ace ft. Saba & Smino
Nostrum Grocers - ‘98 gewehr (Milo & Elucid collab)
Oliver Coates - A Church
The Orielles - Bobbi’s Second World
The Other Years - Red-Tailed Hawk
Ought - Desire
Our Native Daughters - Mama’s Cryin’ Long (New group project with Rhiannon Giddens, of Carolina Chocolate Drops, inspired by New World slave narratives and reclaiming/restoring black women’s stories)
Panda Bear - Dolphin
Parquet Courts - Wide Awake
Penelope Trappes - Burn On
Peter Broderick - Words Of Love (An unreleased Arthur Russell song Peter got to record after befriending friends and family of the great man. Part of a free album Peter released of Arthur Russell covers at Christmas featuring one other unreleased song. Do check it, it’s lovely)
Phosphorescent - Christmas Down Under (I could pick many from this record, but the sci-fi-like presence in the vocals gives it a strangeness and position i really loved)
Preoccupations - Espionage
Pusha T - Come Back Baby
Richard Swift - Broken Finger Blues (Such a dear and sad loss. I actually included this song a few years ago when Aquarium Drunkard featured it, so feel like i should select a different one from this most-recent record.... but dammit if it doesn’t highlight the very best of Swift’s talents).
Richmond Fontaine - Horses In Las Vegas
https://richmondfontaine.bandcamp.com/track/horses-in-las-vegas
Robby Hecht & Caroline Spence - Over You
Rocheman - Parades I & II (Caught/discovered Rocheman supporting Jenny Hval earlier this year in a church, and was really into it so I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes from here)
Rosali - I Wanna Know
Rosalía - Pienso en Tu Mirá
Rosanne Cash - She Remembers Everything
Roy Montgomery - Outsider Love Ballad No. 1 ft. Katie Von Schleicher
Saba - Life
Sam Gendel & Sam Wilkes - BOA
Sam Lee & Peter Wiegold - Rambling Boys
Sandro Perri - In Another Life
Sarah Davachi - Third Hour
Sarah Louise - Bowman’s Root
The Scorpios - Mashena
The Sea & Cake - Any Day
Seabuckthorn - Disentangled
Seán Mac Erlaine - Cotter’s Dream
Serpentwithfeet - Bless Ur Heart
Shad - Magic ft. Lido Pimienta
Shannon & The Clams - The Boy
Shit & Shine - You Were Very High
Sidi Touré - Djirbi Mardjie
Sidney Gish - I Eat Salads Now
Snail Mail - Heat Wave
SOB x RBE - Paid In Full
Soccer Mommy - Your Dog
Sons of Kemet - My Queen Is Harriet Tubman
Sophie Hunger - I Opened A Bar
Sophie Hutchings - Repose
Sorry GIrls - Waking Up
Sourakata Koita - Ha-Madi (I don’t usually include too many - if any - reissues, but i love kora music and this record, “en Hollande” (’84), was a great discovery this year)
Stella Donnelly - Boys Will Be Boys (I was sure i had this in last year’s list when it was a single, but appears not so including it now with the album release).
Steven A. Clark - Feel This Way
Suuns - Make it Real
Swamp Dogg - Answer Me, My Love
Szun Waves - Constellation
Terje Isungset - Blue Horizon ft. Maria Skranes (all the music is played by intruments made of ice)
Theo Alexander - Matter of Balance
Tierra Whack - Black Nails or Hungry Hippo (A record of 15 one-minute tracks, full of ideas and all kinds of fun. Check out the “Whack World” short film for the record)
Tim Hecker - Keyed Out
Tinashe - Throw A Fit (Came across this song randomly via a Youtube video of dancer Jojo Gomez, and the attitude of it all just kind of thrilled me)
Tirzah - Gladly
Toby Hay - Bears Dance
Tom Demac & Real Lies - White Flowers
Tomberlin - Seventeen
Tracey Thorn - Queen
Tracyanne & Danny - It Can’t Be Love Unless It Hurts (I think, actually, that Jacqueline off the record would edge my choice here, but i needed a little more Tracyanne (Camera Obscura) in here to highlight the two of them)
Tropical Fuck Storm - You Let My Tyres Down (Aussie band made up of various Aussie bands, most recognizably Gareth Liddiard of The Drones, with an excellent debut record “A Laughing Death In Meatspace” that along with their name fits the music on this record. It’s acerbic, feral, sardonic, and plain great)
Ty Segall - Every 1′s A Winner (Just an absolute killer Hot Chocolate cover, of all things!)
Ursula K. Le Guin & Todd Barton - Heron Dance
Valee - Womp Womp ft. Jeremih
Valotihkuu - Walking Through Dew Drops On The Lawn
Vera Sola - Small Minds
Vince Staples - FUN!
Virginia Wing - The Second Shift
Witch Project - Manifest
Womans Hour - Don’t Speak (So great to hear them finally return)
Wooden Shjips - Red Line
Y La Bamba - Mujeres
Yo La Tengo - a. You Are Here and b. Ashes
Yoshinori Hayashi - Overflow
Zilla With Her Eyes Shut - Whatever It Is
#2018#music#2018music#songs#year-end#yearend#endofyear#end of year#2018songs#bestsongs#diverse#eclectic#inclusive#list#songsof2018#bestmusic#best
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Every girl dreams of her wedding day – make that wedding days. On the Wednesday, June 14, episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, Luann de Lesseps became Luann D’Agostino and she was ready to celebrate (and celebrate, and celebrate). As she headed down to Palm Beach for the nuptials, the other women – all of whom were uninvited except for Dorinda Medley – hung out back in the city. Before They Were Real Housewives!
Luann de Lesseps walking down the aisle with her brother, Michael, on ‘The Real Housewives of New York.’
Sonja Has a New Man
Sonja Morgan was busy hanging out with her latest romantic interest, a much younger French man named Frenchie. OK, his real name was Edgar, but no one called him that. To the camera, Sonja admitted that she hadn’t expected anything serious with the guy, but she’d discovered she liked having him around. (As backstory, Sonja had briefly thought about pairing him with Tinsley Mortimer, but decided at some point that he would just be for her instead.)
The episode began with Frenchie cooking breakfast for Tins and Sonja and shortly thereafter, Sonja revealed he had moved in. Also, he wanted to adopt kids with her. “This is a really great guy and I have feelings for him and I just want to see him all the time,” Sonja shrugged to the camera. Whatever works!
Carole Goes Nuts for the Vodka Ice Luge
Bethenny Frankel decided to throw another holiday party. This year, she spiced things up with a giant ice luge designed for vodka shots – Skinnygirl vodka shots, that is. Dorinda arrived first, followed by Carole Radziwill, Tinsley, and Sonja. Ramona Singer was not invited (not that that’s all that surprising).
Biggest Reality TV Villains Ever!
Shortly after arriving, Carole began hitting the ice luge pretty hard and declared that she would drink a lot more if drinks were always served that way. To the camera, she offered some thoughts on Ramona’s current mental state, arguing that the novelty of being single had started to wear off and now she was feeling kind of lonely.
Meanwhile, Ramona went out for dinner with her 22-year-old daughter, Avery, and Avery’s girlfriends. After ordering a boatload of wine and sake, Ramona began to unload on them about her fight with Bethenny. Avery’s friends all agreed Ramona should cut ties on the one-way friendship and Ramona decided Avery’s friends were smarter than her contemporaries. Oh, she also told them that she ripped some lights off the wall at Dorinda’s house in a drunken, post-fight stupor.
Dorinda Medley as a bridesmaid in Luann de Lesseps’ wedding on ‘The Real Housewives Of New York.’
Luann Gets Hitched
“I am a hopeless romantic,” Luann said to the camera. “For me, Tom was like home. He was like finding home again.” After reiterating how “lucky” she was to have him, she said that she knew in the first week of meeting him that they were going to get married. “I was getting really doubtful that I would ever find someone again,” Luann added.
Dorinda was the only Housewife invited, and she was a bridesmaid. She later confessed, however, that she forgot to book a flight to get there (oops!) and on the big day, she got drunk by herself on Bloody Marys before Lu called to remind her that she needed to go have her hair and makeup done. In the end, however, it all worked out and Luann was over the moon with how the party went. That didn’t mean she was done having parties, though.
Real Housewives’ Bikini Bodies
Luann Has Another Party in Honor of Her Wedding
Back in New York, Luann threw yet another bash to celebrate her wedding. This time, everyone was invited who didn’t make the cut for the actual wedding, or “the whole loser crew” as Bethenny described it.
Bethenny and Dorinda agreed that this should be the last party to celebrate the wedding, as Bethenny noted she was tired of celebrating a wedding that she hadn’t even been invited to in the first place. Carole also came, along with Sonja and Frenchie, Tinsley and her beau, 23-year-old Chad, and Ramona with her daughter Avery.
Everyone congratulated Tom and Lu and then Tom spent some time gushing over Luann’s wedding planning skills. He said she did a “beautiful” job, praising her for “putting her heart and soul into it.” When Tom joked that he didn’t want to wear his wedding ring, all of the women let it slide, because… really, what was the point?
Tell Us: Do you think Luann and Tom will stay married?
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15 June 2017 | 12:09 pm
Source : Us Weekly
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June 15, 2017 at 06:39PM
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