FOUL. JAIL. NOT EVEN SORRY??? HOW DARE U

LOOK, I HAVE AN APOLOGY

MY ART IS STRAIGHT UP TRASH BUT LIKE C'MON

IT LOOKS GOOD

RIGHT

YEAH THIS IS MY APOLOGY UP THERE

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

A reminder that nobody has gotten close enough to Cater to know about this side of his.

He has always been cheery, so what's there to hide? Right?

Right.

Nobody saw nor knew the way he broke down in his room, he didn't let anybody know about the way he sat on his bed, tears streaming down his face.

It doesn't ever end, does it?

He wants to shout it out loud, describe his problems and yell out the truth, voice shaking in despair while his words was nothing but excruciating detail of the way his heart ached, the way he wished that maybe, maybe someone out there won't judge him for the mess he is, for the mess he always is.

But he can't, because he doesn't want someone to worry, he doesn't want their faces to contort into pity and shock when they see what their upperclassman is underneath that sunshine.

Maybe.. Maybe it could be you.

..But what's the point?

You'll leave this world anyway in the future.

You know, I'm sorry for another story time but my life has been very stressed lately and today I got a huge boost. SO.

As some of you may know, I moved states at the end of July and have been here since August 1st basically. Social anxiety is a struggle but I'm making it. And there's this easy to reach by walking convenience store and almost every time I walk there I walk past a gem store. And I think to myself almost every single time "I love the store has a bouncer". I didn't say anything to him at first! But one day I got brave and proceeded to make an absolute FOOL of myself as I am on my way back from buying some sodas and ask him "are you like the store bouncer?"

The man looks at me and smiles and gives a little chuckle and says pretty much yeah? And then I say more awkward things and then promptly leave feeling very embarrassed. I purposefully AVOID that lil corner for a couple days and then finally feel brave enough to walk by cause it's ... like. Literally right by my destination. Man isn't even outside that day and I think phew! I can't be creepy if I can't talk to him!

BUT THEN I SEE THAT HE IS DIRECTLY INSIDE CHATTING TO A WORKER. And he sees me. And smiles and stops whatever conversation he's having and exits the store to say hi. (I am definitely beaming, like a normal person, because I apparently am NOT creepy enough to this man more than a foot taller than me who could easily kick my ass if he wanted) So we just chat. For maybe ten minutes? It's very nice! We have a Very Normal Conversation! I feel better about the first interaction because I had a second interaction.

So now............ today. I am once again wandering around and on my way to lunch when I pass the gem store and I'm like "hello again!" to the gem store bouncer. We begin to chat again and he mentions a pendant they recently appraised that he likes and I, thinking this entire time that the store was ONLY appointment only and I would never be allowed inside, am casually mentioning "yeah, I was born in June and we have three birthstones and like.... none of them are dark enough for me. I mean there's pearl which I'm not a fan of and then moonstone and another." And so he's saying they have a sheet inside to show birthstones so we walk in together to find out the mysterious third stone.

And the sheet only shows pearls. And I'm like "this is a crime against June babies" and then I somehow start talking to one of the female workers and I'm saying "yeah I just kinda like walking by here and seeing the bouncer" and she looks at him and is like "oh I like that." and I admit I have no other idea what to refer to him as (I don't know his name at this point anyway) and she's like "most often security guard."

Ah. Yes. Like a normal person would think. Security. Yes. Not "gem store bouncer". She then leaves to grab a coffee from across the street and I leave with the bouncer and somehow we get into talking about wearing mostly black and how he's pretty goth and then I mentioned a sweatshirt my aunt sent me once saying "I'm only wearing black until they come out with something darker" and he grins and says it's a life motto. Then the woman returns with her coffee and he tells me to tell her what I said, so I repeat it and she looks me dead in the eye and says "that was made for me. Also I love that you called him a bouncer it's hilarious".

I now observe that he (all black suit black shirt black tie) and her (black sweater with black/white striped pants n black shoes) are indeed somehow the gem store goth club. And then she heads back in and he says he's sorry they don't have any cookies to offer me, they normally have cookies in the back for employees, and I'm like "ah no it's fine thank you".

And then I left feeling like I was somehow allowed to join the Cool Goth Club at the gem store.

Anyway, sup, my new favorite person is the goth bouncer at the gem store and he makes me smile so much when I see him.

"I never thought you would be so cruel"

Penelope, you fucked over both of the only female friends you had publicly and not only humiliated them, but forced them to face dire consequences for your choices, I don't know if you have the right to call anyone cruel right about now

inspired by fence-time, here's the bear pride flag color picked from various sausage skins, because i had to spread my truth

"I could drink your blood if you'd let my baby" no actually.

You can't. I won't let you.

if I did there's A chance that A. I might die and B. I might also become a vampire

And both of those would mean I have to give up garlic bread and other delicious things with garlic in them, and sorry man, I just can't

D

HE’S THE CUTEST IN THE WORLDDDDD

i feel like bertrand is the kind of guy who would delightedly drive a station wagon, but beatrice refuses to let him. a station wagon is too basic. this is how bertrand winds up with a 1960 chevy nomad wagon, sky blue. meanwhile, beatrice drives a red 1960 ford starliner

additionally kit drives a black 1950 cadillac series 62 coupe deville

ways my emotional support cat has emotionally supported me thus far:

-got the zoomies while I was crying and distracted me by being fucking goofy

-found a bottle of Lexapro that had rolled under my bed (after he knocked it off my nightstand, but he did find it)

-crawled up on my shoulders like a parrot, preventing me from getting any work done (benefit unclear), pic related

-whined like a little baby when I wouldn't let him bite my face (???)

-REFUSES to let me piss without supervision (the bathroom door doesn't close all the way sometimes and he just bonks into it until it opens)

-forces me to get out of bed and bothers me relentlessly when I don't (this one actually is really helpful)

-does this:

Me: I'm not going to keep reading Gotham War as it releases, I'll just wait until it's over and just get angry once at the end instead of being angry every week.

Also me: *does not do that, keeps reading the garbage fire, keeps getting angry*

It seems like theres a visitor lurking in the distance. Maybe your words have brought upon an audience?

Silas showed no surprise when the tiny lurker replied to him, if anything he looked annoyed at someone bringing attention to it.

He instantly broke into a fit of laughter at the tiny spirit's words whatever she said must have been pretty ridiculous to warrant that reaction from the Zoroark. Hilarious even.

Silas's impression of the plush Zorua was horrible and monotone, even his questions sounded like mere statements. But, It seemed like something he'd heard hundreds of times and had grown acquainted with. In other words, it was accurate. "Look. Lune's voice may be flat and emotionless, but I can tell under that stupid fuckin' plush face he was looking at me like I was insane. Which, I'M NOT BY THE WAY." Silas huffed in annoyance, shooing the tiny spirit away. "I'm perfectly mentally well as you can obviously see." He grandly gestured to himself before giving a grin and waving her off. "You're not real, I don't know why I'm even talking to you again." He seemed quite offended at the implication of her existence. "And. Even if, let's say, you were. Purely hypothetical here. I know what the fuck you actually are and you are NOT her. So stop following me, I told you this the day you showed up. I don't want anything to do with you, and I will never want anything to do with you. So, fuck off." [ . . . ] The tiny spirit looked very unamused, she gave him an irritated look before angrily swatting her tail at him. It did absolutely nothing but pass through Silas. She was more than used to his stupidity at this point, she gave a small statement before she turned to you.

She was aware you had no idea what she was saying and even seemed understanding of this. But for some reason, her point was made clear in your mind.

kinda insane how bigotry infects everything. i still dont feel good checking out the campus lgbt group despite being a senior now bc of the passive aggressive lesbophobia i got earlier

there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)

Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos

all thoughts, head full of ✨aventurine✨

+ a bunch of rambling/life updates in the tags, oops

Random thoughts of the night go to best girl Fa Yuiry! (endgame Zeta spoiler warning again)

I always find her ep 48 speech with Rosammy/Rosamia to be an interesting juxtaposition with Kamille. She's quite the literalist in the midst of all these newtype shenanigans going down. Probably stretching it a little, but the setting design with the mannequins sorta alludes to this too. Fa's standing next to a clown mannequin - it's dressed and human-like (can I say realistic haha). At least an attempt at being real and material. Fa's conversation points are all material too, like when she starts flinging her yo-yo, or talks about how the mere concept of newtypes has left very real death in its wake.

Rosamia's next to a purely metallic cashier-esque robot. Inhuman, functional, its visual moldable (like how Kamille keeps mistaking her for Four). Rosamia shoots the clown, breaking Fa's desperate desires for some return to normalcy as the doll laughs with a bleeding eye. This episode is also the one where Kamille realizes things won't ever really go back to the way they were, and later on, that all he's good for as a newtype is to kill. The pitiful attempt at normalcy is crushed - the earlier embrace and intimacy of Fa and Kamille ruined by the ever nebulous responsibility of newtypes in this war.

Fa's clinging to real, manifest things as Kamille slips the opposite way and it makes ep 48 a really sad one to rewatch

"Chokehold's illegal, asshole." | 8x05

Mu Qing betraying Xie Lian and then getting angry immediately afterwards that Xie Lian is mad at him

Mu Qing showing up later offering food and medicine and his voice cracking when he apologizes and says he was wrong