#Lloyd Hansen fanfic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

universitypenguin · 6 months

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Summary: Lloyd delays telling Princess about her stalker’s identity. Vivian has a medical appointment, which leads to an episode of babysitting where Lloyd bonds with a three-year-old. Meanwhile, an unexpected event kicks the serial killer investigation into high gear.

Masterlist

Word Count: 6,866

Warnings: Smut, erotica level explicitness, impact play (Lloyd spanks Princess), and semi-rough sex. Criminal activity including stalking, kidnapping, and murder. Mention of child abandonment and dysfunctional family dynamics.

Chapter 22

From your perch on a barstool, you watched Lloyd stir a pot on the stove. He wore a snug pair of boxer briefs and nothing else. You decided this was your favorite look on him. Lloyd glanced over his shoulder and caught you staring. He smirked.

“See something you like, Princess?”

“Mmmhh. You’re like a real life Calvin Klein model, and you’re cooking me dinner.”

Lloyd snorted. “Their current poster boy is what, twenty-one?”

“I don’t know. Calvin Klein models were more of a middle school fantasy for me.”

“Which models, specifically?” he asked.

“The ones featured during the South African World Cup. The internet was plastered with their photos. You don’t remember?”

“Twelve years ago I was in Afghanistan. They don’t allow underwear commercials.”

“Well, I can’t remember his name, but he was a Danish soccer player, who was like three times my age.”

“You were drooling over thirty-six-year-old men when you were twelve?”

“What? He had really great abs.”

Lloyd shook his head, returning his attention to the pot of soup simmering on the stove.

“They were inescapable, and I had a lot of hormones, okay? All those delicious muscles slathered in baby oil was my sexual awakening.”

“Once you hit thirty, you’ll feel more comfortable thinking about sexual awakenings happening around the age of sixteen, or even better, seventeen.”

You laughed. “That’s not reality.”

He flicked off the burner and winked. “Once you eat something, let’s talk about these soccer player fantasies. I want details.”

“Don’t get your hopes up - I wasn’t old enough to fill in the details. Now, my highschool fantasies? Those are worth talking about.”

Lloyd caught you around the waist and pulled you into his lap when you moved to sit down at the dining room table. You giggled when his hands snuck under the hem of the button down dress shirt you wore, exploring the bare skin he found there.

“No panties?”

“Your dress shirt was all I could find. Someone must have stolen my clothes.”

“What a tragedy,” Lloyd murmured, nuzzling your cheek.

You giggled when his mustache tickled your neck. He kissed along your throat and across your jaw and chin, before finding your lips.

“First we eat, then you tell me everything,” he said.

Eating in Lloyd’s lap was surprisingly comfortable. He didn’t insist on feeding you and didn’t mind when you stole the spoon for yourself. After consuming half of the bowl, you handed it back to him and curled against him while he finished the dish. You sighed, content.

“See, this is even better than my fantasies. You can actually cook-”

“This hardly counts, it’s just soup.”

You ignored him, continuing, “-and you have chest hair. I didn’t know there was such a thing as a chest hair kink, but I definitely have one.”

Lloyd groaned as you traced the whorl pattern of hair on his right pectoral.

“Plus, you’re warm.”

“You’ll be all over me this winter, won’t you?” he said.

“Arm candy, bed warmer, and he’s smart? You really are the whole package, aren’t you?”

You stroked a zigzag pattern through the dark brown hairs of his happy trail just above the waistband of his boxers.

“Princess… you’re playing with fire.”

You smirked at his gravelly voice. “No, I’m not. You already turned off the stove.”

He grunted when you straddled him. The position put your breasts at the same height as his mouth. Lloyd nuzzled their upper swells as you sank your finger into his hair, petting the short strands at the back of his neck.

Lloyd unbuttoned your dress shirt and examined your breasts.

“Still sore?”

“They’re definitely tender.”

He rubbed one and you hissed.

“Yeah, that’s going to sting for a while,” he said.

“It’s not a bad sore, just kind of… raw?”

“Well, I did promise you raw nipples, didn’t I?”

“And a sore ass.”

Lloyd glanced up through his lashes. “I’m glad you brought that up, Princess. It reminds me… I only delivered on half of my promise.”

“Huh?”

“I gave you instructions, and you disobeyed me. That warrants punishment, don’t you think?”

“Lloyd, I’ve never let anyone paddle my ass, and if you think-”

He moved too fast for you to protest, manhandling you so you lay chest down, spread over his thighs. Your breasts pressed against his leg and you moaned at the pressure on your aching nipples. Tension coiled in your belly as excitement heightened your sensitivity, making the raw flesh sting.

“Lloyd!”

“Scoot up. I suggest you cooperate because if I don’t spank you, I’m going to have to come up with another punishment. I have a few ideas…”

The butt plug and lube in his nightstand drawer flashed through your head. You scooted forward.

“Good girl, so obedient. I think you want to be punished, don’t you?”

You whimpered at his velvety voice. “Y-yes…”

Lloyd ran a calloused hand over the back of your thighs. “I’ve been thinking of smacking this pretty ass for a long time, Princess.”

That piqued your interest. “How long?”

“Too long,” he said, caressing your bottom.

“The first day you met me?”

“The second day. That pencil skirt, the one that goes past your knees? It’s blue and tight.”

You suddenly regretted donating that skirt last year during a closet declutter, even if it was a size too small.

“On the day you gave me your first research file, that’s what you wore. I still can’t forget how good your ass looked as you walked away. Last chance to back out, Princess.”

You squirmed, but didn’t object.

Lloyd grunted. “Princess, use your words.”

“I don’t think you have the guts to-”

His palm cracked on your left ass cheek. You gasped, stunned by the blow. He slapped the other side with the same force and you cried out. He pinched the fleshy part of your inner thighs between his thumb and forefinger, hard, eliciting a yelp.

“Don’t hold your breath. If you do, you’ll pass out,” Lloyd said.

Then his palm cracked against your skin. The sides alternated: left cheek, right, left, left, right…

“Lloyd!”

You surged up, only to have his forearm shoved into the small of your back, pinning you down.

“Arch your back, Princess. Keep your ass in the air, practice makes perfect.”

“Ow, Lloyd! That hurts!”

“It’s supposed to. You can’t follow instructions, then you pay the price, my naughty… little… fucktoy,” he hissed, punctuating the last three words with a smack.

Your back arched.

“Please! Fucking hell, Lloyd! Damn it, oh!”

You struggled to get enough leverage to escape, but he was too strong.

“Next time you’ll arch your back just like this, won’t you? You’ll be a good girl and keep your chest down and your ass up, huh?”

“Gaaahhh!” you screamed when he peppered a series of blows on a spot that was already aching.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…! Lloyd, please!”

He wasn’t holding back and despite the pain, his spanking was having the strangest effect on your body. It was turning you on. Your protests were born from shock and confusion, because you hadn’t expected this to hurt so much. The pain was the shocking part; the confusing part was that you hadn’t dreamed it would feel so good.

Yet, your toes were curling and your legs stiffened with each stinging swat. Every strike aroused you further. The harsher the sting of his hand, the sweeter the pleasure in your pussy. It was like the sting traveled through you, racing through nerves and transferring the heat of burning slaps on your skin to the inferno deep in your core. Your pussy was throbbing with a fire that was more intense than pain. Then his next blow triggered a cry that had nothing to do with discomfort.

Your thighs flexed and your toes curled as your shriek tapered off into a needy, hungry sound.

“Oh, fuck… Lloyd…”

You whimpered and rocked against his thigh, groaning at the overwhelming rush of pleasure, mingled with pain.

Lloyd cooed. “That’s my girl. Your pussy’s dripping down my leg.”

Your nipples tingled, still raw from their earlier treatment. You were panting and shivering, sweat trickling down your neck. He switched hands, and you squealed at the next barrage of unrelenting slaps. The line between what was pleasure and what was pain ceased to exist. You were acutely aware of the pulsating heat in your nipples and the hardness of Lloyd’s cock pressing against your belly.

The feelings his spanking elicited now were sharp and hot, causing your moans to drop into a lower register as you rocked back to meet each blow. Slowly, he eased into a gentler pace, delivering milder smacks.

Your chest was heaving as darkness danced on the edge of your vision.

“Breathe, Princess.”

You gasped.

“That’s it, good girl.”

His fingers brushed your sex, and you wailed, shuddering at the intensity of the sensation. Your back arched when he stroked your abused skin. The gentle caress made you keen.

Lloyd hauled you upright, turning you so your back pressed against his chest. Without his support you’d have slid to the floor. Your body buzzed with an urgent need and you mewled as he gently palmed your breasts.

You moaned, caught in the grip of a sensation somewhere between pain and immense pleasure.

“There, there, Princess. You’re okay. Next time, what are you going to do? Hmm?”

“Keep… my ass… up,” you sniffed, fighting back tears.

He rubbed the backs of his knuckles against the side of your breasts. “You’ll keep your ass up, and?”

“Chest down,” you whispered.

“That’s a good girl. We’ll try again when your nipples aren’t sore and you can show me what an obedient little fucktoy you are.”

You whined, thighs clenching. Tears were falling and your ass stung but you were so turned on that the pleasure was acutely uncomfortable. Lloyd’s hands drifted from your breasts to roam your body, tracing your waist, belly, and hips. He skimmed your thighs, tugging them apart until you spread them wide, giving him unrestricted access. His fingers dipped into your sex.

“Aw, fucking hell. That pussy’s drenched for me. I knew you’d like your spanking, naughty girls always do.”

He pinched your tender nipple, and you keened, tipping into a state of delirium. Your head fell back against his shoulder as your body went lax. Lloyd murmured something approving, but the words were lost in the buzz of euphoria that echoed in your ears. You couldn’t stop trembling.

Lloyd’s fingers breached your cunt, probing your g-spot.

“Yeah, gush all over my fingers. That’s my Princess, so fucking responsive. You’re spent, but this creamy little pussy just can’t get enough, can it? She’s throbbing. I bet it aches worse than your ass.”

He used his free hand to tease your clit, and you bucked, sobbing from the intense pleasure. You grasped his wrist to ease the friction and Lloyd snarled.

“Cut that out, or I’ll put you over my knee again.”

He spread your pussy open and stroked your entrance, collecting juices and swirling them over your clit.

“Come on my fingers, Princess.”

After issuing the command, he worked your clit hard. Within seconds you jackknifed from a lightning flash of pleasure that almost made you surge out of his arms. Lloyd nipped at your neck and the unexpected sensation made you shudder. His teeth sank into your skin as your body rolled with waves of ecstasy.

When you came down from the high, you felt the hardness under your thigh and squirmed. Lloyd allowed you to slide off his lap but caught your hips to steady you when your knees wobbled. After taking a second to get your bearings, you turned to face Lloyd, then sank to your knees between his legs.

Surprise flickered in his eyes but he lifted his hips, cooperating as you pulled down his boxers. The thick, ruddy cock sprang free, and you grasped it by the base, then licked at its weeping head. Lloyd groaned, shoving himself past your lips in a silent demand. You accepted him eagerly, wiggling your tongue against the underside of his cock.

“Yeah, just like that…”

He guided your head, showing you the tempo he preferred, then let go once you’d adopted the pace.

“Harder,” he murmured, voice rough with arousal.

You hollowed your cheeks and gripped him tighter. He hadn’t tried to push into your throat, which only made you more excited to perform the act. Relaxing your jaw, you inhaled through your nose and took him as deep as you could.

Lloyd gasped. His cock twitched in your throat, and you swallowed reflexively, moaning. When you couldn’t hold the position anymore, you pulled back, gagging. After another deep breath, you braced your hands on his thighs and repeated the maneuver. He was restrained, and that emboldened you to swallow harder, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You kept your hands on his thighs out of caution, aware that his good behavior might end at any moment.

The self-protection didn’t prove necessary. Going down on Lloyd was fun. He wasn’t pushy, and he was vocal about his pleasure. The slurred praise he offered when you took him deep made you quiver with excitement. When your jaw needed a break, you ran your tongue over his balls, laving the swollen sac and basking in the rough, male noises that rewarded your efforts.

You chipped in surprise when Lloyd hauled you to your feet. He jerked you onto his lap, cupping your ass while he aligned your bodies. His thick erection grazed your clit. The sensation was so intense that you jerked away. Lloyd growled, hauling you back down.

“Come on, relax for me, Princess. I know you’re desperate to be filled.”

He was right. Sucking him off had triggered a fresh wave of arousal that had fire licking at your core. Lloyd captured one of your battered nipples in his mouth and sucked, purring when you trembled in response. He released it and caressed your hips, then stroked his palms over the tender skin of your buttocks.

“Ready, sweetheart?”

You pressed your forehead against his and whimpered as his cock probed the entrance to your pussy. “Yes… Please, fuck me.”

He thrust up hard, impaling you with a single stroke. You screamed and dug your nails into his shoulders.

“Ah, fuck! Lloyd!”

“Shh… relax. Let me in. I know, I know. This is a new angle for you, isn’t it?”

He felt huge like this. The girth was too intense and you scrambled to adjust, hooking your ankles over his knees and raising your hips. Lloyd kneaded your ass, causing a rush of pleasure and pain that flooded your pussy with juices and allowed you to sink down a little further.

You groaned, thighs quivering as you struggled to hold yourself up. You were afraid your legs would give out, and you’d be impaled again. Lloyd claimed your mouth and kissed you. HIs mouth was slow and sensual and coaxed you into relaxing. You rolled your hips and whimpered when he slid deep, brushing a spot that made you quiver. He grasped your hips and pushed them back, then drew them forward.

You gasped at the sensation.

Lloyd paused. “Too deep?”

“N-n-no… Oh, fuck…”

You squirmed and tried to mimic the maneuver. Lloyd moaned.

“Atta girl, baby. Get yourself off on my cock.”

Your hips snapped harder at his encouragement. When he sucked delicately on one of your nipples, you keened. You lost your rhythm, but it didn’t matter because Lloyd took control. He used your body’s weight to guide your hips in quick tempo, rooting himself as deep as possible with every stroke. Your legs shook violently and when the orgasm hit, you screamed, unraveling into sobs of overwhelmed pleasure.

Lloyd took advantage of the deep angle. The ripples of your channel seemed to aim his cock right at the sweet spot that made you quiver and turned your muscles to Jell-O. His thrusts became rougher and harder, and your pussy creamed. You cried, disoriented, helpless against the unrestrained response of your body. All you could do was hang on and shudder as your eyes rolled back in your head and Lloyd’s hands guided your hips through the last of the orgasm.

He hissed your name and his seed flooded your womb, triggering another orgasm that wracked your exhausted muscles. After the final burst of ecstasy, your head fell into the crook of Lloyd’s neck and he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you tight.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lloyd broke from his usual routine and silenced his alarm at 4 a.m.

He nestled against you, grateful that you were sleeping deeply, and therefore accepting of his intrusion into your side of the bed. When you were half-awake and still trying to cling to sleep you were very territorial about your personal space. He relished the victory of getting to hold you like this and pressed his forehead against the back of your neck. You slept soundly in these early hours, which sometimes allowed him to indulge in the affection he craved without disturbing you. Although he’d only intended to cuddle, he succumbed to sleep within minutes.

The buzzing of his phone woke him. Scowling at the time - it was just after six - he answered the unknown number.

“What do you want?”

“Hello, Lloyd.”

Lloyd’s nostrils flared. “Why are you calling me?”

“Is that how you greet an old friend?”

“We aren’t friends.”

“Fair point. Wait, don’t hang up. I have a new lead,” Court Gentry said.

Lloyd hesitated, his finger over the end call button.

“Go on.”

“The spy is trying to access files from B&H’s patent department. If they do, it’ll pose a threat to national security - a significant threat.”

“Then call Clayton Bishop, or the FBI - anyone but me,” Lloyd replied.

“Trust me, if I could, I would. You’re the only person I’m sure isn’t involved. The latest efforts to access the files prove this guy has hacking skills. He’s trying to exploit weaknesses in your cyber security and someone’s helping him. I know something is going down this week. I need your help.”

“No. I’m not a spy. Don’t call me again.”

Lloyd tossed the phone on the nightstand and sighed. The Chinese spy wasn’t his problem. It wasn’t even Court’s problem, but Gentry wasn’t the type to keep his nose out of other people’s business.

You murmured and rustled in the blankets, stealing the covers he’d loosened his grip on. Lloyd watched as you coiled yourself into a cocoon of blankets and wondered how you didn’t smother yourself by sleeping like that. His phone buzzed again. The sound made your lashes flutter and Lloyd rubbed your back. He was inordinately pleased when you settled immediately, your breathing evening out again.

Lloyd silenced the phone and checked his text messages.

There were three new messages, all from Jake. One had just arrived. The other two had come in around 5 a.m.

Hey. I need to upgrade the security on your guys laptops - work and personal. The stalker’s been trying to hack them. It’s mainly Princess’ work computer, but I want to cover all the bases just in case.

What time can I come over?

Lloyd? R u awake?

He responded, letting Jake know he could come over after eight, then went downstairs to make coffee.

Between the call from Court and Jake’s texts, the morning had gone sour. His anxiety was flaring back up and he was halfway through his first cup of coffee when it occurred to him that caffeine probably wasn’t the greatest idea right now. He poured the rest of his coffee down the sink and rubbed his jaw, wondering what problem to tackle first. There was the matter of telling you about Nguyen, reviewing your notes from the interview with Aliyah, catching up with Jake about the attacks on your laptops, and… Lloyd frowned.

The conversation with Court was still echoing in his head. Could the cyber attacks on your work computer have something to do with Nguyen? Did that fit the stalker’s profile? Aiden might be behind the latest attack. That would make sense… kind of.

Lloyd leaned against the counter, scowling, and wishing he hadn’t thrown the last of his coffee down the drain. Maybe Nguyen was the serial killer. Bishop still believed he was, and while Lloyd wasn’t keen on his boss’ blind faith in that theory, he suddenly wanted to take another look at Nguyen. His gut said that he’d missed something - something critical.

“Do I smell coffee?”

He turned to see you standing at the foot of the stairs, wearing his robe.

“Yeah, creamer’s in the fridge.”

Lloyd waited while you doctored your coffee and took a few sips. He’d figured out what he needed to say, but instead, he grabbed the files Landon had given him yesterday.

“Princess. We need to talk about your stalker.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You sat at the dining table, reading the files. Each one was labeled with a name: Georgina Rochester, Aiden LeDoux, Shun Nguyen, and finally, Juan Medina.

Picking up Juan’s file, you frowned.

“What’s this?”

Lloyd cleared his throat. “We investigated all potential suspects we could think of.”

“Really? Investigating Juan would’ve involved talking to me. That never happened.”

“Given the circumstances, I can’t expect you to be impartial.”

Your gaze sharpened. “I’ve known Juan for a decade.”

“Princess, you’re too close to him to see him as a threat, and you know it.”

“And maybe you’re too far removed to see that he’s harmless. Everything in here is technically true - Juan got into bar fights and took anger management classes - but there’s more to the story.”

“Then explain it.”

“Juan’s little brother just turned twenty-one. He’s always had a bad temper and alcohol exacerbates it. Juan’s tried to keep him out of trouble but-”

“There’s no arrest record for the brother,” Lloyd interrupted.

“Not yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Juan is the complete opposite of his brother and he’d never do anything to harm his family.”

“He’s been charged with multiple misdemeanors.”

“Two nights in jail hardly makes him a hardened criminal.”

“Princess, you’re one of the most loyal people I know. You’d defend someone you love even if they were guilty.”

“Maybe I would, but the idea that Juan would hurt me is ridiculous. He’s not angry or dangerous.”

“We can’t afford to dismiss any leads,” Lloyd said.

“But this lead isn’t significant. You should’ve discussed this with me.”

“I didn’t want to put you in a position where you had to defend him.”

“The impression you get of Juan from this file is totally wrong and knowing the backstory changes everything. Letting me explain would’ve saved time and resources.”

“No, it wouldn’t have. We’re running down every lead in this case - especially after what happened two weeks ago. I’m not risking your safety on a blind spot.”

“You’re not listening to me. I know Juan and I trust him. I’m absolutely sure he isn’t the stalker.”

“I don’t even trust myself to be objective right now, Princess. Neither of us should try to unravel the stalker’s identity. If Juan made the suspect list, he’s on it until Landon decides he isn’t.”

“Then I need to talk to Landon because investigating Juan is a waste of time.”

“I’m sorry this makes you uncomfortable, but we should turn over every stone.”

“You’re being unreasonable on purpose, aren’t you?”

Lloyd’s expression softened. “I’m sorry I waited to tell you about this, but please, leave the investigating to Landon. He’ll figure it out. If Juan is as squeaky clean as you think, it won’t take long.”

You sighed, rubbing your neck. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fly off the handle. I’m just…”

Suddenly, you were on the verge of tears. Your voice cracked when you tried to speak and you buried your face in your hands.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

Lloyd stood up and moved around the table. His arms wrapped around you as he let you bury your head in his chest.

“I’m here, Princess. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this and things will go back to normal. You’re safe.”

“How can I be safe if Nguyen is in the country?”

Lloyd squeezed you. “I won’t let you out of my sight. Also, Jake’s coming over to update the security systems on the house and our computers. We’re taking every precaution and then some, okay?”

You pulled back and looked up at him, lips compressing in a grimace.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about something… Vivian has an appointment with her obstetrician. She asked me if I could watch the kids this afternoon.”

“That’s not a good idea,” Lloyd said.

“I agree, but she needs my help. If you came with me, you could search for evidence on Juan. Think of how much time that would save Landon. Can we take evasive measures and sneak over, or is it totally out of the question?”

He hesitated. “It might not be safe.”

“The last thing I want to do is put Vivian’s family at risk, but if there’s a way to make it happen…”

“Have you discussed this with Vivian?” Lloyd asked.

“I can talk to her.”

“Explain the situation and if she’s okay with it, I’ll figure something out. Just don’t say anything about Juan, please.”

You kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lloyd sat at Juan Medina’s desk in the upstairs master bedroom, preoccupied with Juan’s laptop. He kept an ear out for sounds that would warn him of an approaching toddler or the jangle of tags from the family dog, Chewy. The tan and white Cavalier King Charles spaniel had taken an instant dislike to Lloyd at first sniff, which he considered to be very insightful on the canine’s part.

The house was fairly quiet. The only sounds from downstairs were of you cleaning. He could hear the rumble of the washing machine, along with the frequent buzz of the dryer and the dishwasher. Your efficiency was unrivaled. He’d listened to the sound of you tackling a mountain of household chores while keeping the smaller toddler - the boy, Sam - occupied. Meanwhile, the three-year-old, Alyssa, had escaped to the backyard. From the window over the desk, he could see her playing in the yard.

His thorough search of Juan Medina’s laptop had yielded nothing of value. The man’s internet search history was full of hockey, nerdy online card games, and researching which fantasy novels he wanted to buy next. Judging by the bookcase, your brother-in-law’s primary hobby was reading. His offline commitments included a weekly Dungeons & Dragons meetup at the library, helping his mother with yard work, and taking the kids on monthly field trips with a local father’s group. Juan was probably pretty normal by regular standards, but to Lloyd he was the most boring person on earth. He was also envious of the man and that drove him nuts because he couldn’t pin down a reason why he felt that way.

Lloyd brushed off the feeling and closed Juan’s laptop.

Downstairs, the transformation in the family room startled him. The clutter of kid’s toys, piles of books, jackets, blankets, and empty drinking glasses had vanished. He barely recognized the room. In the kitchen, the countertops gleamed. You’d swept and mopped the floor and conquered the overflowing pile of dishes. The family room, the kitchen, the living room, it was all spotless. Even the sliding glass doors that had been covered in Chewy’s nose prints was now clean.

He noticed the basket of folded laundry by the couch and shook his head. How had you managed all this in just a few hours?

Lloyd walked out onto the deck where Sam was playing with a toy tractor. The little boy was so absorbed in his own world that he didn’t spare the man a glance when he walked by. Lloyd headed down the steps to the yard and headed to where you were crouched in the middle of the yard, looking frustrated.

“What are you doing?” Lloyd asked.

“I’m trying to fix this sprinkler head. Juan left Vivian a note to have Dad take a look, so I read a how-to article, which made it seem easy enough. I think I was lied to.”

Lloyd squatted down. “What step are you on?”

“Taking off the sprinkler head. I’m afraid if I use any more force it’ll break.”

“Do you have a screwdriver with a longer handle? You need more torque.”

You gestured to the tool box beside you. “Take your pick.”

He found the right tool and loosened the troublesome screw. Once it was free, you took over.

“It’s okay, I’ve got it.”

After knowing you for three years, he recognized the look on your face and easily handed over the sprinkler head. It was better to just get out of the way when you were on a mission. Besides, he wasn’t about to get grass stains on his freshly dry cleaned Tom Ford chinos if it wasn’t necessary. He scanned the yard, taking in Sam playing on the deck and then turning to the rock pile where Alyssa seemed to be digging a hole to China.

“What’s your niece doing?” Lloyd asked.

“Digging up rocks. Don’t ask me why, because there’s a perfectly good sandbox on top of the hill. She’s always in that rock pile.”

He left you to the sprinkler repairs and headed toward the rock pile. When he saw who was approaching, Chewy, the cocker spaniel, positioned himself between Alyssa and Lloyd. He gave the suspicious dog plenty of space and crouched down on the other side of the rock pile, leaving a large space between them to appease the dog.

“Hey, Alyssa.”

The three-year-old glanced at him, then stabbed her yellow plastic shovel into the dirt. There was a pile of stones next to her right foot. Lloyd watched as she sorted them, examining each before keeping it or tossing it back into the pit. He spotted one he recognized in front of him and picked it up.

“Do you know what this is?” he asked Alyssa.

She stopped digging and examined the rock he held out for a moment before shaking her head.

“See how smooth it is?” Lloyd scraped his thumb over the surface. “When you can scratch a rock with just your fingernail, that means it’s soft. The color and shape are also big clues.”

The little girl looked at him expectantly.

“It’s slate,” Lloyd said.

She held her hand out, and Lloyd dropped it into her palm. He watched as she searched her red bucket and then handed him two more rocks. Lloyd examined them.

“Yeah, these are slate, too.”

Alyssa dug into the bucket again. She paused, as if something had just occurred to her, and extended her hand and wiggled her fingers at him. He passed back the two pieces of slate she’d given him, and the one he’d picked up. She placed them carefully into the red bucket before offering him another rock.

Lloyd studied the specimen, hiding his grin. When he realized what she’d handed him he raised an eyebrow.

“This is agate. Sometimes people make jewelry out of these.”

Alyssa continued to pass him different rocks, though she only allowed him to handle one at a time. She was like a strict librarian who only allowed single book check outs and enforced the return policy with the zeal of a Mutaween. He identified limestone, quartzite, agates, and several pieces of granite for her.

“Which ones are your favorite?” Lloyd asked.

She reached under a dense fern and pulled out an old Folgers coffee container. It surprised him when she took off the lid and handed it over. Lloyd inspected the contents. There was a chip of Mica, easily identifiable by its flakey structure and pearlescent shine. Several of the greenish rocks looked like Sandstone, though one of them had the striations characteristic of Gneiss. Looking at the collection, he realized that Alyssa’s criteria for special rocks focused on color and shininess. At the bottom there was a gray rock with a dusting that looked like blue powder.

He rubbed it with his thumb and inspected it in the light. Chrysocolla or Amazonite?

“This is an impressive collection,” he said.

Alyssa reached under the fern and dug around, searching for something and brushed it off before passing it to him. At first he thought it was just a piece of limestone, but when he flipped it over, there was a clear impression on the other side.

“Wow. This is a cool fossil.”

It looked like a prehistoric crustacean, with lots of ridges and segments in the stone that showed the shape and structure of the animal’s body.

“Is this why you’re digging over here?” Lloyd asked.

The plastic yellow shovel she was using made sense, considering the fossil. He handed it back and watched as she packed the rocks into the Folgers container.

“Why don’t you pick a few rocks to take inside? You could display them on your windowsill or something,” Lloyd said.

Her lips pursed as she considered him, then glanced over her shoulder at you. Lloyd followed her gaze to where you were filling in the hole around the sprinkler head.

“Hey, Princess. Have you seen the fossil Alyssa found?”

At his announcement, Alyssa hissed, shoving the red plastic container underneath the fern. She glared furiously at Lloyd and grabbed the spaniel’s collar. He watched as she stalked across the yard to the deck, dragging Chewy along with her. Lloyd realized he’d committed a betrayal of great magnitude but wasn’t sure how.

When you’d finished with the sprinkler system, he asked.

“Why is Alyssa so protective of her rocks?”

“What rocks?”

“She collects rocks. She’s got a good eye for it too, but I guess she doesn’t like sharing them.”

“Oh, you mean the rocks she smuggles into her bedroom? We try to keep them in the yard because she stashes them in her bookcase and it gets all muddy. Vivian tosses them back in the rock pile when she finds them.”

“That must be frustrating,” Lloyd said.

“Yeah, Vivian can hardly keep up with it.”

“No, I mean that she’s finding interesting stuff. You should have them tumbled. One of her rocks is probably Amazonite or Chrysocolla and she has a really cool fossil, too.”

You stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. She knows what she’s looking for. I think it’s the colors in the rocks that attracts her attention. Blues and reds seem to be her favorite. Does she have any books on rocks?”

“No, she can’t read yet.”

“They have picture books,” Lloyd said.

“Huh. That’d be a great Christmas gift. Do you think I should re-seed the lawn?”

“What?”

“It might be too early, and I don’t know if Juan is planning on aerating,” you mused.

“You already did the dishes, the laundry, cleaned the house, and fixed the sprinklers.”

“Oh, crap! I forgot about the dryer. Sam! Come inside, it’s getting late!”

Sam launched a valiant protest when you tried to herd him inside. You tended to the toddler’s outburst while Lloyd went to find Alyssa. She was upstairs in her room. Chewy was curled into a ball on her bed and when he saw Lloyd, the fluffy spaniel growled. Lloyd stopped short, respecting the warning, and leaned against the doorjamb.

“If you pick out some rocks from your bookcase, I’ll help you polish them,” Lloyd offered.

Thirty minutes later you walked into the kitchen to find Alyssa standing on a stool next to Lloyd at the sink. A paper towel full of wet rocks sat next to a pile of used sandpaper.

“What are you two up to?” you asked.

“We’re polishing Alyssa’s rocks. Look at this one, it’s a carnelian.”

You examined the bright red stone and smiled at your niece.

“That’s beautiful.”

She looked down, shrugging, but smiled. Lloyd picked up another one.

“This is a blue lace agate.”

After he showed it to you, he handed it back to Alyssa, who snuck it into her pocket instead of laying it on the paper towel.

“Did you find these in the backyard?” you asked her.

She didn’t respond, so Lloyd answered for her.

“I think she might have, but I’m not sure. There’s enough variety here that I think she collected some of them from other places.”

“You should put them on display in your room. Your Mom will be home soon and she’d like to see them - especially now that they’re clean.”

Alyssa beamed. “Mine.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The quiet hum of the Mercedes’ engine filled the car as you drove west towards the cabin. Lloyd glanced over and you sensed his scrutiny.

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” you said, breaking the silence. “Is something on your mind?”

He turned his attention back to the road, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Tonight, at your sister’s place…”

“You really hit it off with Alyssa. I was impressed.”

“She’s a sweet kid, but I was actually wondering about all the housework. You did everything from the laundry to fixing the sprinklers. If your sister had hired a whole cleaning crew, they wouldn’t have done as much as you did.”

You sighed. “Vivian is juggling a lot right now. I was just lending a hand.”

“It’s not just tonight, though. You’ve always helped her out, even before, when you were in college. I’ve never seen her do the same for you, especially not to this extent.”

“She’s my sister, and she needed help. Besides, you never complain when I do things for you.”

“I pay you to help me,” Lloyd pointed out. “She didn’t even say thank you.”

You chuckled. “That’s just what having a sister is like.”

“Well, from my perspective, it seems like she’s taking advantage of you.”

“Lloyd, I can’t explain this to you.”

“What’s to explain?” he growled.

“I’m the oldest, it’s different. You wouldn’t understand, you’re an only child.”

Silence fell and again, the gentle hum of the engine filled the car.

“Actually, I’m not.”

“What?” you stared at him.

“I have two younger sisters.”

“You never mentioned… Lloyd, I didn’t realize… the articles about you never said...”

“I haven’t seen them in thirty years.”

“Why?”

His grip on the steering wheel tightened. You watched his shoulders rise and fall on a deep breath.

“My mother left when I was eleven. She took my sisters, but left me.”

“She abandoned you…? And left you with your father?”

“Yeah.”

“Lloyd, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

He shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

“Did you ever reach out to them?”

“No.”

You frowned. “Why not?”

“I wasn’t even sure they were alive until recently. I doubt they’d want to hear from me. They’ve built lives of their own. What would contacting them do except stir up bad memories? If they can forget… that would be better.”

Better for who? You held back the question, unsure if he was ready to answer it.

Lloyd sighed. “I don’t know if they’d want to see me and talking about them isn’t easy. That’s why I’ve never mentioned them before.”

His face was stony but there was a quiet ache in his voice that hinted at the hurt hidden behind the composed mask.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For assuming. For not asking you about your family.”

He shrugged. “Who could blame you? Sharing isn’t exactly in my nature.”

You turned away, gazing out the window. You tried to imagine having your siblings ripped away but couldn’t manage it. What was wrong with Lloyd’s mother? How could she have done such a terrible thing? There were reasons, of course - desperation, fear, psychosis. None of those answers softened the anger you felt toward the faceless woman who’d snatched Lloyd’s siblings. Why would she leave him behind, sentencing him to live with the man she’d chosen to flee?

“You’re wondering why she took them and left me, aren’t you?” Lloyd asked.

“I can’t imagine what kind of a mother would do something like that. It’s awful.”

“She was crazy. That’s a solid reason, but if you ask me, it’s because I looked like him.”

You were confused. “Him?”

“My father.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The cabin’s porch light glowed in a cozy welcome as Lloyd turned into the driveway. You pretended to look out the window to hide the tears in your eyes.

Lloyd’s childhood couldn’t have been easy. You’d known that already, but what he’d revealed tonight was crueler than your imaginings. He parked and shut off the engine, silencing the quiet hum.

The shrill scream of his phone pierced the quiet, making you jump. He frowned at the caller I.D.

“It’s Roth.”

You watched as he answered and lines of concern creased his face. The words on the other end of the line were muffled but the furrow between Lloyd’s brows suggested the news wasn’t good. He listened for a long time before he spoke.

“Alright. We’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“What’s going on?”

“There’s been a disappearance. Another woman was abducted in Harmony.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Next - Chapter XXIII

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Masterlist

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Taglist:

@denisemarieangelina @before-we-get-started @buckysteveloki-me @patzammit @badassbaker @meetmeatyourworst @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @thiskindahotkindamusic @jesgisborne @charmingprincess @amiets2 @seitmai @elle14-blog1 @chaoticsteverogers @kaleidoscopepov @fangirl-and-doctor-help @jesevans @openup-yourmind @kandierteveilchen @adoreyouusugar @awkwardgiraffe726 @pono-pura-vida @mysweetlittledesire @liecastillo @marantha @babyevansblog @lizzzaaaaaaaaaaa @thegirlnextdoorssister @ladygrey03 @cynic-spirit @rosedpetal @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @bambamwolf87 @yiiiikesmish @calwitch @peachiestevie @texmexdarling @here4thefanfics @rogersbarber @spikeluv84 @dear-fifi @crayongirl-linz @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @andydrysdalerogers @mrsbarnes32557038

#the princess and the lawyer #the princess & the lawyer #series: the princess and the lawyer #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen au #lloyd hansen fic #lloyd x princess #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x fem!reader #lloyd hansen smut #minors dni #no minors #chris evans characters fanfic #chris evans character au #chris evans character x reader

196 notes · View notes

writing-for-marvel · 6 months

Text

These are all the fics I've read in October. Please go show all these amazing writers some much deserved love! Also please remember to read the warnings for each individual fic

🔥 - smut | 💗 - fluff |💧 - angst | 😈 - dark

Dividers by @saradika

Bucky Barnes

💧 Meant To Be (series) by @rosepetalsinwinter

🔥 Might Even Be by @slyyywriting

🔥 Lose Your Voice by @navybrat817

💗 Feelin’ Gourd by @jobean12-blog

💧💗🔥 Insatiable by @/jobean12-blog

💗 Rooted in Love by @/jobean12-blog

🔥 Cockwarming by @vellicore

💧💗 Clingy by @imtryingbuck

💗 A Written Notion by @sweetdreamsbuck

💧🔥 Wait For Hours by @notafunkiller

💧🔥 One Night With You Part 1 by @jtargaryen18

💗 What He Deserves by @hannibals-favourite-meal

💗 Personal Pillow by @mrsbarnesblog

💗 Hot Chocolate by @littleseasiren

💧💗 Who The Hell Is Daryl? By @lostgirlmuseum

💗 Firefighter Bucky taking you in after a fire at your apartment building by @espinosaurusrexex

💧💗 What If I Am Too Much? by @notafunkiller

😈🔥 Ace of Wands by @flordeamatista

Steve Rogers

🔥 Love Bites by @lunarbuck

🔥 Eyes on Me by @1-800-jjbarnes

💗 Back Rubs by @sapphire-rogers

🔥 Car Sex by @stuckymonkey

🔥 Carnival Fun by @notyetneedcoffee

💗🔥 I’ve still got a few rounds left in me by @thyme-in-a-bubble

💗 Stars and Stripes by @intrepidacious

🔥💗 Breathe Me by @fushic0re

💧 Say It Back by @fandoms-writings

💗 The Second Date by @crazyunsexycool

🔥💗 Overstimulation by @myfictionaldreams

💧💗 Imagine Steve coming to be with you by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

Wanda Maximoff

🔥 Somnophilia by @sytoran

🔥 Thigh Riding by @/sytoran

💗 The Purrfect Pair by @astrorogers

Frank Castle

🔥😈 Sacrifice Yourself and Let Me Have What’s Left by @mrsmischief209

💧🔥 Complicated by @targaryenvampireslayer

💧💗 How To Say I Love You by @feelmyskinonyourskin

💗 Domestic Frank by @strawhbrrries

Sam Wilson

🔥 Phone Sex by @/lunarbuck

💧💗 Love Me, Too by @onceuponastory

💗🔥 Sugar Daddy!Sam by @fluffyprettykitty

Andy Barber

🔥 The Devil by @/flordeamatista

💗 CEO!Andy by @holacia3

💗 Your Age Is Showing by @worksby-d

Lee Bodecker

😈🔥 Save Your Tears by @/flordeamatista

😈 Lights Out by @/vellicore

Joel Miller

🔥 Thrills by @moonlight-prose

🔥 Can’t Keep My Hands to Myself by @/jobean12-blog

🔥💗 Joel is such a sap after sex by @inklore

💧💗 Roommate Joel Collection by @/holacia3

Multiple Characters

💧😈 Surrender by @/mrsmischief209

🔥 Double Penetration by @/lunarbuck [Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers]

😈🔥 The Magician by @/flordeamatista [Lloyd Hansen & Nick Fowler]

205 notes · View notes

dbnightingale24 · 10 months

Text

A Huckleberry Is Nothing Without His Hummingbird

A Lloyd Hansen Love Story/ Final Installment to ‘It’s Ridiculous But, I’ll Always Love You’

Part 2

Part 1

I am so sorry this took so long! Life has been out of control for a while (both in good and bad ways), but it’s finally here! I truly hope you enjoy this, because I loved writing it! Thanks, as always, to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard! I love it and I love you! As promised, this is much happier than the last Lloyd story, and I hope you all enjoy it!

Word Count: 25,445 (look at me go!)

Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI OR I WILL SNITCH!), 18+ ONLY, Fluff, Arguing, Couples Therapy, Angst, Drinking, Smoking, Family Drama, Lloyd Hansen (cause he’s a walking warning), Violence, Murder, Degrading Kink, Rough(ish) Sex, Daddy Kink, Child Trauma, Toxic Relationship, Healthy Relationship...I think that’s it?

Song(s) Used For This Chapter: To Know Me All This Time and Still Love Me...Well, That’s A Miracle

I do not give consent/permission for works/stories to be posted anywhere else. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

“You two can’t keep going on like this,” your couples therapist sighs, as you and Lloyd both sit in silence, both of you with one leg crossed over the other. “You two have been coming here for two months, and it’s the same thing every time.”

You can hear the frustration in her tone, and it’s not like you can really blame her. You and Lloyd have been doing couple’s therapy for 2 months now, and you’re both so damn stubborn, that you both refuse to say anything. It’s not like you don’t want to say anything but, as far as you’re concerned, none of this is your fault.

“I’m not having this argument with you again, Hummingbird!” Lloyd snapped softly as you both stood in the bedroom of the hotel room: your arms folded across your chest.

“You’re acting like our family wasn’t put in danger hours ago! Do you know what this is going to do to Travis?!”

“He’s safe, you’re safe, and Denny is safe! What else do you want from me?!”

“To fucking quit!”

“I promised you that I’d stop-”

“We were still a target! Was this a joke you?” you asked, holding up your fingers that wore his hummingbird engagement ring.

“You know it wasn’t!”

“Then why can’t just pick us?! Your family!”

“I took a step back! That was me choosing you all! Just because you’re not getting everything that you want, doesn’t mean I’m not making an effort!”

“I can’t do this with you, Lloyd. Not again,” you scoffed as you ran your hands through your hair.

“You’re not fucking leave me again, Y/N!”

“You can’t-”

“I can! You think I’m letting you leave me again?! You think you can walk out of my life just as soon as I got you back in it?!”

“You never let me go, Lloyd” you scoffed, your voice rose just a bit more than you meant for it to. “You have been everything to me for forever and-”

“You’ve been everything to me-”

“I clearly haven’t! You still can’t just choose us as your top-”

“You still need to give me some space to be me, Hummingbird!” he yelled.

“This is the same shit it always is,” you scoffed as you kicked your shoes off. “God, why do you I love you? Why do I keep putting up with this shit?! I was finally fucking out-”

“Watch it, Y/N.” Lloyd warned with a growl and you rolled your eyes.

“Or what? Just what will you do?! Actually let me get shot next time?!”

Almost instantly, he had you pinned against the wall, with his hand around your throat.

“Don’t ever say something like that to me again! You fucking understand me?!”

“Why?! What’s so wrong with it?! Staying with you makes me just as good as dead anyway!”

“You don’t think I’m doing everything in my power to keep you and Travis safe?! You don’t think-” “No Lloyd! No I don’t! I don’t believe you! Not anymore! You say you love me, you want us to work through our issues, but it’s all bullshit! Make me believe you, because right now?! Right now, it’s all just bullshit to me!”

Lloyd didn’t say a word, he just crashed his lips into yours and, just like that, you were gone for him.

No, it wasn’t healthy and you both knew you were falling back into your old habits, which is why you brought up therapy. At first, Lloyd was dead set on not going.

“We don’t fucking need couples therapy,” he muttered as you started cleaning off the dinner table.

“Well, we fucking need something, because this isn’t working for me. This isn’t college, Lloyd. We can’t just fuck our feelings away and avoid the problems that are staring us in the fucking face.”

“We can work out our problems on our own!”

“Keep your fucking voice down! Travis isn’t asleep!” you snapped quietly, trying to keep your own emotions in check.

“Hummingbird-”

“I want us to go to therapy, Lloyd. You’re hellbent on keeping your stupid fucking job? Well, I’m hellbent on doing therapy,” you shrugged, leaning against the sink.

“Humming-”

“Lloyd, we do therapy or I walk. It’s that simple.”

“Don’t fucking bully-”

“I’m not bullying you into shit. You want us to work out? You wanna keep working? Then I want therapy.”

“You can’t-”

“Therapy or I fucking walk, Lloyd. I’m not going through this shit with you.”

At first, he was furious and didn’t speak to you for a week, but once he realized you weren’t backing down, he finally agreed. Denny suggested a therapist that works with the agency and that settled it.

Which is why you’re both currently sitting in the therapist’s office, stubborn and unwilling to break first.

Well, you were until now.

“Lloyd’s a selfish piece of shit, and I’m tired of it,” you shrug as Lloyd scoffs.

“I’m selfish?! You’re the one forcing me to do this shit or you’ll leave-”

“And why is that, Lloyd? Hmm? What fucking got us to this point?”

“Don’t.”

“You’re fucking job! Your son almost got killed and it’s still not enough for you to get your fucking shit together!”

“Okay, okay, lets back up for a second,” the therapist interrupts, happy to finally be getting somewhere with the two of you. “When you two talk about Lloyd going into another line of work, how do those conversations usually go?”

“He says no and that’s the end of the discussion,” you mutter.

“Bullshit! We argue, you tell me I’m an asshole, and-”

“And you keep your fucking job! I’m dramatic and whiny little bitch-”

“You’re acting like-”

“Lloyd, Travis almost died! Someone shot at us at fucking Disney! For fucks sake, you won’t even let me home school him!”

“He can’t just run away from his-”

“He’s not running away from shit, Lloyd! He’s fucking scared, he’s lonely, his friends don’t invite him over anymore, because parents aren’t too keen on their children hanging out with other kids that tend to get shot at-”

“He needs to be a man-”

“Lloyd, he is a 9 year old boy! He’s not you! He has every right to be afraid, because he’s been through hell! No one invites him to anything anymore! At least you have Denny! Travis only has us, and that’s a lonely fucking life!” you snap, wiping your eyes as you look out the window.

Lloyd’s silence lets you know that you’ve got him, and while you feel bad about hurting him, you need him to understand where you’re coming from. You need him to understand that all of this is taking a toll on both you and Travis.

“Lloyd, have you looked at all into a career where you’re not putting yourself at so much risk? Your family?”

“No, because there’s no point,” he sighs, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Lloyd, I’m sure Denny-”

“Denny knows there’s only one job I’m suited for, and that’s why he assigned it to me in the first place. Listen, it’s not lost on anyone in this room that I’m difficult at best, but I do love both Y/N and Travis more than anything in this world. I will keep you both safe-”

“And what about when you’re not home, Lloyd? What then? Because the last time...” you trail off as your tears start to flow freely.

For fucks sake.

“Hummingbird...that wasn’t your fault-”

“I had him that weekend, Lloyd. He was my responsibility, and...we almost lost him, Lloyd. I can’t...the stress of your job always falls back on the both of us, and I could handle it before. Even after the divorce, I had no problem with making excuses, stressing myself, losing sleep...it was all doable, because Travis was safe. Now? Lloyd, it’s just too much. I’m always worried about you, but now...your enemies have no reservations about going after your family. I know how much you love your work, how proud you are, and how good you are at it, but this isn’t going to work if you keep taking and giving nothing back. That’s what killed us before and it’s what will kill us this time, if your enemies don’t first.”

“You know that I can-”

“But Lloyd, you can’t. You can’t keep us safe, that’s already been proven! I don’t blame you for Travis, I honestly don’t. However, with that being said, you’re not home all the time, and it’s only worse with your job. Whether it’s you being away, or you making more enemies...there’s just no way it works unless we get a-”

“Do not finish that statement.”

“Well, what do you expect, Lloyd?! At some point, you need to come to terms with the fact that you can’t do the job you’ve been doing, and be a family man! You have to make a choice and I don’t want that choice being something that makes you regret Travis and myself!”

“That would never happen,” he sighs, leaning back and staring at his hands. “Why can’t you just trust me? I know I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve never-”

“Lloyd, this has nothing to do with lack of trust. I trust you more than anyone else in the world, which is probably a horrible decision, but it’s a fact. However, another fact is that you just can’t be two places at once. You can’t protect us when you’re not home.”

“You know-”

“Don’t you dare,” you warn with a sniffle. “I never signed up for this. It was a roll that I was forced to take! I have had miscarriages, my weight has been up and down for years, I have severe panic attacks that usually end up waking me up in the middle of the night, my hair falls out from stress...Lloyd, I love you, but I shouldn’t have to take on a roll I never asked for!”

“You could’ve left!”

“I did! I left and what did you do?! Find new ways to hurt me, ruin any potential for other relationships, beg me to take you back-”

“Hummingbird, I’m trying!”

“I never said you weren’t!” you sob, wiping your eyes again.

The therapist looks from you to Lloyd, writes something down, and then sets her notepad down.

What the hell does that mean?

“Lloyd, why can’t you just walk away from the job?” she asks after a moment. “What is it that makes it so hard to leave?”

“Because he doesn’t care about anything except what he wants,” you mutter with a sniffle.

“That’s not fair,” she quickly tells you, and while you know she’s right, it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes, “give him a chance to explain himself.”

“She knows that’s bullshit,” he mutters before taking a deep breath. “I’m good at a lot of things, it’s just something that comes to me. On the rare occasion that I’m not good at something, I work my ass off until I am. That being said, besides being Y/N’s husband and Travis’ dad, my job is what I’m the best at. Hell, it’s not like I can even say that I was the best husband, because Y/N was going through hell and I didn’t even notice. I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that, but I can do my best to protect and keep them safe. No, it’s not the most ideal job and she’s always taken issue with it, but it’s one of the few times I feel normal. Everyone knows I have a reputation for being a sociopath, even you,” he nods towards the therapist, who shrugs with a head nod in response, “but this job? It was made for me. I’m in charge, I know what to do, I know how to keep my men in check, and it helps me keep my rage at bay. Without this job, I don’t know how to be a decent husband, let alone a decent Dad. The only reason I was never kicked off the football team was because of how good I was. My coach got so many complaints about how violent I was...it’s not like Y/N didn’t know any of this. She may deny it, but I’m more than sure it’s part of why she hung around. It was fun. I was fun and I’m not stupid, I know that as you get older, the fun starts to die away and you want stability, but she never left. Even with me accepting a job with the CIA, she still accepted my proposal and married me.

I know we have Travis now, and he’s our entire universe, but I’m still the man she fell in love with in college. I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but I’ve never lied about any of it. If she could accept it then, at the beginning of our relationship, our marriage, and even when she had Travis, why not now? I know we’ve been through a lot, and I know it’s because of my job, but it’s nothing new. Yeah, it’s a lot to ask, but I’ll do anything either of them asks if I can just have this one thing,” he promises, his voice cracking slightly.

You know it’s because he’s finally coming to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to have the best of both worlds, and his heart is breaking just as much as yours is.

“We’ve reached the end of our time, but I think it’s very obvious to all of us that we’ve made progress today. I wanna give you two an assignment.”

“Fucking great,” Lloyd mutters.

“Stop it!” you snap.

“Try and go away for the weekend. Just you and Lloyd. Go away for a few days and talk. Really talk and maybe make a pro and con list about your relationship. It sounds silly, but it’ll help you both figure out if this relationship is something you should pursue or not.”

“We both want-”

“I didn’t say anything about ‘wanting’ the relationship, Lloyd. It’s obvious to anyone who looks at the two of you, that you two are deeply in love, but that doesn’t mean you two belong together. You two need to spend time alone and figure out if getting remarried is in both of your best interests. If it’s in Travis’ best interest,” she urges sincerely. “Now, our next appointment won’t be for another two weeks-”

“Two weeks?!”

“It’s not my fault that it took you two, two months to finally open up,” she snaps at him and you do nothing to hide your snicker. “We’ll meet again in two weeks, and we’ll go from there.”

“This is bullshit.”

“You really need to work on your ‘it’s all about me’ attitude, Lloyd,” she scowls. “I’ll see you two in two weeks.”

“Sounds good,” you smile at her as you and Lloyd both get up.

As you two make your way out of the building, Lloyd takes your hand in his and it just makes your heart break even more, because you know he’s trying. Hes always been trying, but you’re both coming to the painful realization that this just might be the end of the road for the both of you.

The car ride home is quiet, but Lloyd doesn’t let go of your hand for even a second. Every now and again, he gives a meaningful squeeze, but you both know it’s gonna take more than that to fix where you two are at.

“I can order dinner,” he offers as he pulls up to the house, that you occasionally call a home. “You’ve been making lunches and dinner ever day, it’s the least-”

“Travis prefers home cooked meals. After everything, it’s the least I can do to-”

“I know you’re tired, Hummingbird. You work hard and you-”

“I’m not really working hard, am I? I don’t have a job anymore-”

“It’s a suspension-”

“They fired me, Lloyd. They’re just being nice about it, because what happened on that call wasn’t actually my fault. However, the client was spooked and no one wants to work with someone who’s a risk of others getting injured or killed, so...”

“Hummingbird, I’m trying.”

“We both are, Lloyd. Just because we’re both trying and love each other, doesn’t mean-”

“But why can’t it?!”

“Because you can’t be the king of everything all the time!” you yell, your tears coming freely as you throw your hands up. “You need to control everything and I need some stability. Things aren’t going to just sort themselves out because we want them to! You think I want to break up again? You don’t think I wish that we could just magically figure this all out? I’m so madly in love with you, but I don’t love the life we live! Travis is in trouble every other day, he’s scared, the only time when we aren’t arguing is when we’re fucking...this isn’t working, but I don’t have the strength to walk away! Not again, because the problem wasn’t that we stopped being in love, the problem was your job and you inability to see past your own wants! I don’t know what to do anymore, Lloyd! Being without you is hell, but so is being with you and I just...I don’t know what to do anymore,” you sigh, wiping your eyes and taking a deep breath. “Now, lets get inside and take care of our nine year old son, whose grounded...again.”

“Wait, what? Why?” Lloyd asks, clearing his throat and rubbing his eyes.

“He got into another fight at school.”

“Jesus Christ!” Lloyd yells, getting out of the car and slamming it shut.

“Lloyd, stop it!” you yell, quickly getting out and running after him.

“No, he needs to stop with this shit! He can’t keep getting into fights! With how much money we fucking pay?!”

“Look who’s talking! Lloyd, I will handle this! Don’t go in there and-”

“TRAVIS!” he yells as soon as he steps foot in the house.

Great.

“What?” Travis scowls from the dining room table, not even bothering to look up from his book.

“Don’t you ‘what’ me! What the hell is wrong with you?! Another fight?! We just had this talk two weeks ago! Are you trying to get kicked out?!”

“I’m sure you can donate more money and fix it, just like you always do.”

“Your attitude is starting to become a real pain the ass!”

“Both of you stop it!” you yell, trying to stop the argument before it escalates any further.

“Don’t you have another job to leave for? You always have someplace to be that isn’t here with us, so why aren’t you there now?” Travis scowls, still not bothering to look up.

“THAT IS ENOUGH! THE BOTH YOU, IN THE LIVING AREA, NOW!” you yell, officially at your wits end.

Neither of them says a word, they both just roll their eyes and make their way over to the area.

God help you.

“Listen, I know this family has been through a lot, but the way the both of you speak to one another is not okay! Travis, you know good and damn well that you’re never allowed to speak to your Father like that! Lloyd! What the hell is wrong with you?! You don’t get to speak to him like that when you’re barely ever even home and you don’t know the full story! Travis didn’t even start the fight, he just finished it! He’s been getting bullied, a lot-”

“What?! Why didn’t-”

“Lloyd, you’ve been busy and haven’t had much time to talk-”

“I would’ve made time!”

“You never have before!” Travis interjects angrily.

“Travis, enough! Upstairs!”

“But Mom-”

“Go! I’ll deal with your Father, you need to go upstairs and cool off!”

Travis sucks his teeth as he gets up and makes his way up the stairs, stomping loudly, and it takes all you have in you not to yell at him.

“Something needs to be done about his fucking attitude,” Lloyd scowls and you roll your eyes as you make your way into the kitchen. “What?!”

“You were out of line, Lloyd. If I were Travis, I’d have the same fucking response.”

You grab the largest wine glass you can find and fill it, as you take your hair out of a ponytail, trying to figure out when exactly the house became a war zone.

Lloyd lets out a heavy sigh before grabbing a bottle of bourbon and a glass to go with it, before leaning against the counter top, “what happened?”

“Travis had a panic attack during his Math class. He gets skiddish when he hears loud noises, any type of a loud boom...he’s scared. The other kids know what happened, of course, so they pick on him because kids are devils. Anyway, there’s one kid in particular that keeps picking on him and he’s the one who triggered his panic attack.”

“So, some little shit triggers his panic attack and Travis gets suspended?!”

“Yeah well, Travis broke the kid’s nose and gave him a black eye.”

“Sounds like he let the kid off with a warning.”

“Lloyd.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“When? You’re never here, and when you are, you’re in a shitty mood. Every time I brought it up we ended up arguing. Big shock there.”

“That’s why you want to home school him,” he sighs rowing a hand through his hair.

“Lloyd, you’re never around. Even with you taking on desk work, you’re still gone. I can’t keep seeing him heartbroken like this. He’s gonna end up like us, for fucks sake.”

“It wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

“Lloyd, he’s not like you and me. Yes, he’s always had issues with his temper, but never like this. He’s angry all the time, and if he’s not angry, he’s upset. And if he’s not upset, he’s a recluse. That’s not our son and you know that. This isn’t his personality at all.”

“I want to fix this-”

“Then be here, Lloyd. It’s that fucking simple.”

“I don’t wanna argue, Hummingbird, alright? I’m imagining that there’s a meeting we need to go to?”

“Tomorrow at 1. I’ll let you know-”

“I’m going with you.”

“That’s definitely not a good idea,” you scoff before taking a giant sip of your wine. “I’ll handle it-”

“I’m his Father, Hummingbird. I should be there and you don’t have to keep doing all of this by yourself. You want me to be there, so I’m gonna try my hardest, okay? I know you don’t think so, but you and Travis are the center of my universe and I know...I know things have to change,” he mumbles, turning and caging you between his arms. “I’m trying, Hummingbird. We both want this-”

“Lloyd, we are both too old and I am too tired-”

“I can get this right, Hummingbird. I need to get this right,” he promises softly as he rests his forehead against yours. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Lloyd.”

“Sleep in our bed tonight,” he begs softly as his hand travels under your shirt.

“Lloyd, don’t.”

“It’s been weeks and I miss you. You know I’m sorry and how much I love you.”

“We can’t just fuck-”

“We’re not. I’m not just trying to fix what’s wrong with us with sex. I fucking miss you. I miss hearing you come alive for me, getting lost deep inside of you, “ he presses as he squeezes your hips.

“Lloyd!” you gasp, trying to keep your voice down.

Having intimate moments in random parts of the house is a lot harder when your child can make his way down the steps with ease.

“Tell me you’ll sleep in my bed tonight,” he continues to beg as he starts to kiss and suck on your neck, “our bed.”

“Huckleberry!”

“Tell me you’ll-”

“MOM!” Travis calls from the top of the steps as Lloyd backs away a little and throws his head back in frustration, “I need your help with this essay!”

“I’ll go,” Lloyd breathes as he rests his head against yours.

“No, he called for me-”

“He and I need to have a talk anyway. You stay here, think, get started on dinner...whatever you wanna do. I’ll go.”

He presses a soft kiss to your temple, before quickly turning and leaving, which leaves you all alone with your thoughts. You’re quick to rifle through your purse, pulling out your pack of cigarettes and a lighter, before grabbing your glass and making your way outside onto the back patio.

Taking a seat at the head of the outside dinner area, you light a cigarette and think about your relationship with Lloyd.

Both the good and the bad parts.

However, you feel the same thing you always feel when you think about the two of you (which has been a lot lately), and you come to the same conclusion every time. You can’t bring yourself to hate or regret any of it, and you can’t convince yourself that it’s truly time to call it quits. Yes, Lloyd can be a monster and hot headed but, in the spots reserved for only you and Travis (and you guess Denny), he’s the most amazing man you’ve ever met.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t turn it off, and you’ve been trying for years.

“I can tell that you’re upset with me, Hummingbird,” Lloyd chuckled as he laid down next to you on your bed.

“All the guy said was hi-”

“I didn’t like how he said it. You’re my girl and he should’ve known to keep his distance.”

“I’m not your anything. We fucked once and have been on a few dates. That doesn’t make us official.”

“You hate that you like me so much don’t you?”

“And what makes you think that I like you so fucking much?”

“Well, for starters,” he smirked as he sat up, “you’re getting worked up and that’s not like you unless you’re caught in a lie. Two, I sent those flowers to you two weeks ago, and they still look brand new. You wouldn’t care about them if they didn’t mean so much to you.”

“And how do you know so much about me?”

“Because I’ve been watching you.”

“Lloyd-”

“And you fucking like it, so don’t give me any shit. You’re not as oblivious as you like to seem. You know just as much about me as I do you. I’m territorial-”

“I’m not your fucking property, Lloyd.”

“No, you’re not property, but you are my girl.”

“And what makes you think that?”

“I know you’ve been watching the time, so I know you know it’s 1am.”

“So what?”

“So, you haven’t kicked me out, and you don’t want to kick me out, or you would have already. In fact, you haven’t even hinted at wanting me to leave.”

“Maybe I just like looking at you, Hansen,” you shrugged as you finally turned all of your attention towards him.

“Or maybe,” he smirked as he hoisted you up just a bit before forcing your legs around his waist, “you love the way I fuck you, just as much as I love fucking you.”

“I don’t love anything about you,” you moaned as ground your hips against his, clawing against his arms as you wordlessly begged for more.

“You love how I make you feel and that’s all I need for now. Until you’re ready to tell me, Hummingbird,” he mused as he ripped off your panties,

“Lloyd-”

“You tell me to stop and I will. I’m not going to take anything you’re not willing to give,” he smirked as he started stroking your clit with his thumb.

“You still hook up with other girls so I don’t know-”

“You say the word and I’ll stop. You just have to tell me how much you like me,” he teased, rubbing your clit a little faster.

You knew he had you, because no matter how hard you fought it, you really did like him. Yes, there were a million things wrong with him, but the way he treated you...

The flowers, the attention he paid to things that made you laugh and smile, the way he’d stay late with you at the library when you insisted on going over all your notes one more time even when he had an early practice or game the next day, how he’d stay on the phone with you even when you were asleep....yes, there were a lot of flaws with Lloyd Hansen, but they all seemed to melt away for you. He was notorious for treating women like trash, you’d seen him lose him temper on the field, you’d heard about the fights he’d gotten in over the smallest things. Hell, he’d just punched a guy in the face a few hours ago because he didn’t like how close a guy was standing next to you at a fucking frat party.

Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop being so fucking smitten with him.

“Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it,” he promised as he dipped down and kissed your hip bone.

You weren’t ready to tell him that you wanted him to be yours and yours only, so you instead you said, “make me feel better.”

You saw the flash of pain in his eyes, but he masked it well and started to kiss up your body. The kisses weren’t anything like the ones he gave you the first time you two hooked up. Granted, it had been over a month since you two fucked at the frat party held in his frat house, but you still remembered every touch and kiss like it was yesterday.

“Lloyd,” you moaned as he started to lick and suck on your hipbone.

“Tell me what you want, baby. I’ll do it,” he promised before dragging his tongue up your torso. “I’d do anything to make you happy.”

“I just wanna feel you,” you whimpered, losing all resolve as you felt yourself come to life for him.

“Always in my fucking crew neck,” he growled as he sat up, taking his hoodie and throwing it to the side, “it drives me fucking insane.”

“Take it back,” you moaned, pulling it over your head, taking his lead and throwing it on the floor.

“Fuck, no bra, baby? What took you so long?”

“I just wanna feel you right now,” you begged, pulling him close and kissing him passionately.

“I’m all yours,” he husked as forced his sweatpants down, “I belong to you and you only,” he promised as he pushed himself inside of you.

“Fuck!”

“You want me to make you feel better, Hummingbird? I’ll make you feel the best you’ve ever felt,” he promised before he captured in a soul stealing kiss.

In no time at all, you were moving your hips with his, gripping his hair tight as you pulled him close with your arms.

“Tell me how much you’ve been thinking about me,” he begged as he picked up his pace, beads of sweat dripping from his forehead to yours.

“Every day and every night,” you confessed, your walls tightening around him as you tried to fight off your release.

“Best pussy I’ve ever been in, did you know that, Hummingbird? Did you know that no other pussy milks my cock like yours? No one makes me feel like you do,” he groaned before he licked the side of your cheek with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh fuck!”

“I’d do anything to make you happy, Hummingbird. Anything to keep a smile on that gorgeous face of yours!”

“Lloyd...please!”

“Gonna fuckin’ make you mine, baby! Gonna make you happier than you’ve ever been and I’m gonna keep it that way!”

“Shit!” you cried out, toes curled and back arched at the words the words he said.

The promises he was making.

“I want you to cream on my cock, Hummingbird. I’ve been thinking about it since the last time I had you in my bed, and I need it so fucking bad,” he growled as he picked up his pace, “I fucking need you!”

“Need it! N-n-need you!”

“Fuck! C’mon, give it to me! I’ll keep you up all night, I promise!”

You couldn’t have held on if you tried. His name left your mouth like a desperate plea as you squirted hard on his cock, gripping his hair harder than you meant to.

“You’re a fucking dream,” he groaned as he filled you up.

Why couldn’t you stop your mind, body, and heart from desiring him in the worst ways?

“Don’t think about anything else right now, Hummingbird,” he cooed as he rode out your highs, “just be here with me, baby.”

You had no choice but to obey.

He was a good as his word and kept you up, being so insanely sweet and gentle with you, like he needed you to believe that this wasn’t just about the chase with you. He needed you to feel that it was more than just mind numbing fucking. You let him stay and hold you close that night, and it was the best you’d slept since the first time you two hooked up.

You like to lie to yourself and say that you don’t know why that memory holds so much weight with you, but you know it’s bullshit. Everything he said that night...everything he did...Lloyd let you know in his own way that his feelings were real, and you let yourself quietly accept that yours were real too.

You let yourself finally accept how much you truly cared about him.

Cared for him.

However, for as much as they memory warms your heart and makes you smile, the one that follows leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you’re ready to punch Lloyd in the dick.

“The fuck are you so mad about, Hummingbird?!” Lloyd yelled/slurred as he followed you around his frat house, drink in hand, as you stumbled around to get away from him.

“Fuck off, Hansen!”

“The fuck did I do?!”

“Besides go upstairs with half the women at this party? Nothing!”

“So you do like me,” he smirked as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to a stop.

“I fucking hate you!” you yelled, slapping him so hard he dropped his drink.

“Fucking bitch!”

“FUCK YOU!”

You two weren’t even a couple, but you were already arguing as if you two had been married for 50 years.

“Why the fuck shouldn’t I have any fun?! Huh?! You keep saying that this is nothing, so why shouldn’t have all the fun I want?!” he roared as he followed you into the kitchen.

“Ya know what, Lloyd? Fuck whoever you want! Fuck until your dick falls off! I don’t give a single fucking shit!” you yelled as you made yourself a drink.

“You clearly do if you’re yelling at me in my own goddamned frat house!”

“Oh? It’s your frat house? Did your daddy buy it for you, you spoiled fucking prince?!”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! I can’t fucking make heads or tails of you! You say you don’t want this, but you get fucking pissed-”

“Why should I give you a fucking chance, Lloyd?! You say and do all of these things, and when you don’t get immediate results, you go and fuck around! So, what exactly is my incentive to date you? Give you a chance?!”

“Fucking come off it, Y/N,” he scoffed, “don’t blame me for the fact that you’re scared! You put up walls and make things complicated-”

“Then work for it! Fucking work for it you giant fucking child! I didn’t go after you, you came after me! You want me? The fucking earn me!”

“Why should I have to earn what you so willingly gave me in this very kitchen,” he chuckled with a smug grin.

The slap you gave him after that comment was probably the hardest one you’d ever given him.

“I fucking hate you. Know that I mean that with every fiber of my being. I hate you and I don’t ever want to see you again,” you sobbed before grabbing your drink and stormed out, Tina at your heels.

Of course, Lloyd refused to leave you alone. Whether it was having the men’s quartet at your classes and singing you love songs, having dozens of flowers sent to your dorm daily, or leaving romantic love letters left at your dorm every day, Lloyd didn’t let up. He kept at everything for months until you finally agreed to go back out with him.

You’re not sure if it was sheer irritation that got you to say yes, or the fact that you just missed him, but whatever it was you took him back. For better or worse, you took him back and decided he was worth all of the hell he put you through and that it was tolerable.

That being said, that was the outlook for the rest of your relationship.

Lloyd doing whatever he needed to, to invoke some sort of emotion out of you, so that you’d just admit that he’s all you ever wanted. Yes, it was toxic and you should’ve walked away in that moment, but the man made it impossible. You’d met your match in every way possible. Knowing that should’ve been enough for you to walk away, but it wasn’t and you hate that you can’t blame that on Lloyd. Yes, there were multiple options for you to just walk away, no matter how consistent Lloyd was, but you still made the decision to stay.

Even now, you can’t blame Lloyd for all the hell you go through. You always have an out, and if Lloyd truly believed you wanted to leave, he would let you. Yes, there would be the pain of him seeing you whenever you picked up (or he dropped off) Travis, but Lloyd has always been respectable enough to give you space and/or peace. As much you’d love to put your stress and anger on him, you know you can’t. You made your own personal hell and now you have to make a choice:

Do you keep trying to create a future that will no doubt be stressful but loving and worth it in the end, or do you keep following down the a path that just leads you to stress and frustration? Only time will tell and only you will be able to decide if it’s all worth it.

But fuck it all if you don’t don’t want Lloyd to be your endgame, even if it’s not what’s best for you.

Lloyd’s P.O.V

“Trav, you and I need to have a talk,” I sigh as I take seat his computer desk.

He’s nine years old, why the hell does he have such an intense computer setup?

“Aren’t you supposed to knock before you come in? Mom knocks,” he mutters, not even bothering to look up from his book.

“She’s the nicer one.”

“Didn’t she punch my gym teacher in the face just for making a remark about my attitude when it comes to leading team sports?”

“I said she’s nicer one, not the more sane one, and put the damn book down. I’m talking to you.”

“What?”

“Watch your fucking mouth. What’s going on at school, and why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“In order for me to tell you about anything, you’d have to be here for that,” he snaps.

Ah yes, that’s why he has an insane computer setup. Guilt.

“I’m here now.”

“Good job.”

“Travis, I swear to God-”

“You’re never home, Dad! Before, you were always away on missions. Now, you don’t do missions but you’re always at work, and when you are home, you get pissed off about every little thing. If you don’t give a damn, why should I say anything?”

“That’s not true and you know it. I’m just adjusting. I know I’m not good at it, but I’m working on it.”

“Are you capable of apologizing to anyone besides Mom?

“I apologize to you when you deserve one.”

“Now seems like a pretty good time.”

“Jesus, you’re so much like your Mother sometimes. I swear that sometimes I think you two work together to drive me insane.”

“Well, I’m the one who got sent to my room, so it can’t be all that bad.”

“You owe your Mother an apology.”

“Yeah, I know,” he sighs.

“Sit up and tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Yeah, I don’t care. Get up and talk to me. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting bullied?”

“Didn’t we just discuss that?”

I swear he’s just like Y/N.

“Travis.”

“Some of the kids at school think it’s funny that I’m scared to go to gym class, or that I jump when a book drops, or that I have panic attacks.”

“Why the hell are youi afraid of gym class?”

“A ball bouncing off the wall? A basketball bouncing-”

“Okay okay,” I sigh, sitting back. “You can’t let the bullies win. That’s not how your Mom and I are rasinging you.”

“I fought back and got suspended and, I’m sorry, isn’t that the Hansen way?”

“Are we sure you’re only 9?”

“I learn from the best.”

“That you do. Do you want to be home schooled?”

“Not forever,” he mumbles and I roll my eyes. “What now?”

“Speak up, I’m not raising you to be shy!”

“Why isn’t Mom having this talk with me?”

“Because she’s making dinner and I’m your Father.”

“You should’ve ordered something,” he goes on, completely ignoring the part about me being his Father.

Great, my kid hates me too.

“I offered to and she said that you prefer home cooked meals.”

“It doesn’t matter, she’s stressed out. You just have to do it.”

“How do you know this?”

“When she gets really upset over the things you do, I make dinner or talk her into ordering food,” he shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

“I’m trying to do better-”

“Don’t try, Dad. Just do it. Mom is here all the time and she deals with all of it, and then has to deal with your mood swings on top of it? It’s not fair.”

“Yeah, I know,” I mutter as I get up.

“Now who isn’t speaking up?”

“Watch it,” I warn in the voice that lets him know he’s got no more buttons left to push, “and watch the swearing around your Mom. You know how much she hates it.”

“But why?”

“You’ve spent time with your grandparents, that’s not how she was raised. You’re too young to swear.”

“That’s not what you think.”

“You’re gonna swear anyway, so who gives a damn when you start? However, your Mom doesn’t like it, so cut it out.”

“I preferred when you two lived apart.”

“Well, get used to how things are now, because it’s how they’re staying.”

“Not if you keeo going on like this,” he mutters, picking up his book.

“Stop being a little shit and get ready for dinner. I’m taking everyone out.”

“Where?”

“Wherever your Mom wants. Get up and get dressed.”

Yeah, I owe him an apology, but he’s not getting one while he’s being a little shit.

It also doesn’t help that he’s right.

Trying to think of the romantic way to tell you that I’m taking you both out, I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen to see you sitting outside at the patio dinner table, smoking a cigarette and drinking wine.

How did I fuck this up again? We were doing good and then, as usual, I got in the way. I’m the one starting the arguments, I’m burying myself in an attempt to keep the bit of sanity that I have, I’m not there for Travis like I used to be...

I keep fucking it up.

You’re right: this isn’t college and we can’t go on raising Travis like this. I have to start giving and stop taking. I’m not afraid of much, but I am terrified of losing you again, and I can tell that you’re on your last leg. I’m unforgiving and an entitled asshole, and you knew that when you fell in love with me, but the charm was that I never treated you like everyone else.

Well, never to this extent.

Now, I keep taking too much and don’t even think of giving anything back, and I can’t be mad that you’re ready to call off the wedding. Hell, I haven’t even seen you look at a bridal magazine in months.

If this is gonna get better at all, it’s gonna have to start with me.

Y/N’s P.OV.

“What the fuck is going on with you and Hansen?” Tina asked as you both left the library.

“Clearly nothing,” you mumbled, annoyed with yourself for how worked up you got over him at the frat party last week.

You don’t know why you let his words get to you, because Lloyd Hansen only looks out for Lloyd Hansen. It’s all just a game to him and you knew you needed to stop believing you were any different.

“Well, if it were nothing, why the hell did you slap him so hard?”

“As if anyone needs a good reason to slap Lloyd in thr face.”

“I’m not saying it’s not long overdue, but it’s not like you at all. Plus, ever since, you’ve been getting flowers, poems sent to you, teachers seem to be more lax with you-”

“What’s done is done and Lloyd can go fuck himself. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I’m done thinking it,” you huffed as held back your tears.

You weren’t about to cry over him again, and especially not infront of Tina. No one knows how much Lloyd means to you, and if you keep it that way, you can pretend he never meant much to you either.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

“Babe, what’s going on? What happened between you two?”

“You and everyone else saw what happened: he went down on me in the kitchen, he took me up to his room and fucked me until I was too tired to walk, we went on a few dates, we fucked again, and then decided to take multiple women up to his room at the frat party he invited me to, and that’s that. I don’t know, I just think it’s pretty shit to tell a person you’re no longer interested that way.”

“I mean...it’s Lloyd. It’s not like he has a decent bone in his body,” she scoffed as you two walked down your dormitry hall. “What did he tell you that made you believe-”

“Tina, can we please stop talking about...I left my door closed,” you said cautiously as your footsteps started to come slower.

“Does anyone besides either of us have a key?”

“Nope,” you sighed, cautiously pushing the door open, only to be met with complete and utter shock. “What the...”

Your dorm room was filled with pink and white peonies, your absolute favorites, and already knew who was behind it.

Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? To make it worse, you could feel your heart swelling in your chesr with so much happiness, and your brain couldn’t understand why. Lloyd went out his way just to hurt you, because you wanted to be smart and take your time, so why do all of his actions mean so much?

“Of course you’re here with Tina,” Lloyd mumbled, visibly upset as he rolled his eyes, getting off of your bed.

“Lloyd-”

“Tina, get out,” he snapped at her.

“Excuse me?!”

“This talk doesn’t concern you-”

“It concerns my best friend!”

“Who isn’t you. Get out.”

“Lloyd-”

“Tina, there’s no point in going back and forth, because he’s not going to leave,” you scowled, dropping your bag before picking up one of the flowers.

Yeah, you were pissed, but the flowers were gorgeous.

“Are you sure, Y/N?”

“Yeah babe, I’ll call you later,” you smiled, wondering why the hell you weren’t telling her to stay.

You knew how things would go the second she closed the door.

“Fuck you, Hansen,” she spat before leaving and slamming the door behind her.

“How can you stand to be friends with her? She’s such a bitch.”

“Now, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”

“Hummingbird-”

“What the hell do you want, Lloyd?”

“Don’t kick me out before you’ve even heard me out.”

“I don’t feel like hearing anything you have to say. You made your point perfectly clear-”

“No, I didn’t and I’m-”

“Lloyd, just go back-”

“Can you shut up and let me fucking apologize?! Jesus!” he snapped and you jumped at his tone, as well as the fact that he’d just apologized.

Lloyd Hansen never apologized to anyone for anything.

“Listen...you’re right, okay? I don’t give you any reason to believe me, so I shouldn’t be all that surprised that you don’t wanna date me. What I did last week...it was fucked up and I did it out of anger-”

“Anger? How the fuck were you angry with me?!”

“Because you wom’t just admit that you like me! I’ve laid it all out for you, I’ve made the gestures, I’ve-”

“You’ve been sleeping around, you’ve let your temper get the best of you, you’re immature-”

“You don’t need to list every flaw that I have,” he growled. “You’re right and I’m sorry-”

“Lloyd, just leave me alone, please,” you started to sob, throwing the flower down. “You make these big gestures, you say all these things, and then you fucking hurt me. I didn’t do-”

“I meant everything I said to you that night, Hummingbird,” he cooed as he slowly made his way over to you. “I want to make you happy and keep you happy forever, no one has ever made me feel like you do, and I don’t know...it scares me,” he confessed as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Lloyd, please just-”

“I’m not trying to make your life harder-I’m not!” he repeated when you scoffed, “I’m figuring this out, okay? I’ve never...I just want you and In know that you just want me.”

“I don’t know what I want,” you sobbed, finally meeting his gaze, surprised to see just how soft loving it was, and of course it made you yearn for him all that much more.

“I do, Humming. I’ve always known,” he told you breathlessly before cupped your face and kissed you as if he hadn’t seen you in years.

You weren’t surprised by how quickly you’d caved at all. Even with your brain telling you to stop, you also knew that no part of you could deny that you’d missed him. Yeah, you’d missed the sex, but you also just missed Lloyd. You missed the way he teased you about your study habits, you missed him waiting for you outside of your classes, you missed him bringing you dinner and late night snacks when he knew you were staying up too late, the late night phone calls, the personal talks...

You missed Lloyd.

You were both relentless that night, unspoken promises were made, and you let him stay over and hold you close after all was said and done. When morning came, you told him that the night before didn’t change anything and that if really wanted you, he was going to have to really earn you.

You kept the poor man at a distance for almost two months. Then, one night after a football game, everything changed and set what was to be your future in motion.

“Hummingbird, lets go. You’ve had more than enough,” he all but growled as he tried to pull you off of the bar top you were dancing on with Tina.

“Fuck off, Hansen!” you snapped, pulling your hand back as you kept dancing, still mad at him from the argument you two had before the football game.

It also didn’t help that you had 8 shots of tequila consecutively.

“I mean it, Hummingbird. Get your ass off the bar and lets go!”

“Piss off, Hansen!”

“Shut the fuck up, Tina!” he roared back.

It was truly amazing to you how much they hated each other.

You were able to resume dancing for all of 10 seconds before you felt Lloyd’s strong arm around your waist, pulling you down, “hey, let go of me!”

“Time to go back and sleep this off.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you, you fucking asshole!”

“Denny, get your bastard best friend in line!” Tina yelled, pout on her face at the sight of you being dragged away.

“Denny, get your dumb bitch in line!” Lloyd called back, not even bothering to look in the direction of either of them.

“Lloyd, I fucking hate you!” you screamed, still fighting against him.

“Calm the fuck down!”

“Let me go!” you yelled before spat in his face.

He had it coming for the whole damn day in your defence.

“That’s enough, Y/N!” he snapped, finally jerking you still. “I don’t give a fuck that you’re mad at me, you’re too fucking drunk and you need to lay down! We’re going back to my place, you’re sleeping it off, and that’s final!”

“Fine,” you muttered as you finally stopped the scene you were making, but being completely turned on by the way he was controlling you.

“You little bitch, you would fucking spit...stand outside the bathroom and do not move!” he commanded before shoving the bathroom door open.

“Your boyfriend seems like a real dick,” some guy smirked before he took a sip of his beer and leaned against the wall.

“That prick is not my boyfriend,” you scoffed, trying to decide if you wanted to disobey Lloyd or not.

You really wanted another drink.

“You wanna get away from him?”

“When don’t I?”

“Then lets go,” he chuckled before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you out the backdoor with him.

“What the...let me go!”

What was it with guys pulling you around that night?

“C’mon, you said yourself that you wanna get away from that guy!”

“That didn’t mean I wanted to leave with you! Leave me alone!”

“Listen, I saw you dancing on the bar like a little whore-”

“It wasn’t for you! Leave me-”

“Listen, you little bitch! You’re gonna give me what I want and I’ll give you back to your slutty little friend! Now quit-”

“Let me go!” you screamed before you stomped on his foot as hard you could with your heel before elbowing him in the stomach.

“Bitch!” he yelled, doubled over in pain as you started to run off.

How was this happening to you?

You got but only so far before being tackled, “help!”

“Now, you’re gonna fucking pay! I’m gonna make sure you’re in pain for a fuckin week!” he promised as he roughly forced you onto your back, scraping your knees against the gravel in the process before he ripped open your skirt.

“Please stop!” you cried, hitting his chest as hard as you could, but it was useless. “Get off of me!”

“Shut up!”

“The woman said to get off of her!” Lloyd yelled before he kicked the guy in the face and practically sent him flying. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Lloyd asked, rage taking over his entire demeanor as he looked you over.

You couldn’t think of any response other than to shake your head ‘no’.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised before turning and facing the asshole who was trying to get back up. “Come here you piece of shit! When someone fucking says no, you fucking stop!”

You tried to tell him to stop, but you couldn’t swallow down the lump in your throat, and you couldn’t stop shaking. Lloyd was relentless as kept landing blow after blow, but making sure to keep him upright. It’s not like you had the perfect view of his face, but you could tell that he was completely unhinged. Yeah, you’d seen him lose his temper before, but never like this.

“Now, do you understand that no means no?” he growled, holding the piece of shit up by the lapel of his shirt.

“I...I won’t...I’ll never do it again,” the man sputtered out, trying to stay up right.

“I wanna believe you Lamb Chop,” he pouted, feigning sympathy, “but I’m afraid there’s only one way that I’ll believe that something like this will never happen again.”

As if it were the easiest thing in the world, Lloyd snapped the pathetic man’s neck. You didn’t gasp, but the shaking definitely stopped.

“Are you okay?” Lloyd asked again, as he made his way over to you, voice soft as if he hadn’t just killed a man.

All you did was look up at him, eyes wide with shock.

“Hummingbird, are you okay?”

You just nodded. Lloyd sighed, half in annoyance and half in sympathy. He picked you up bridal style and carried you back to his frat house, not caring at all that it was a 20 minute walk.

You were quiet for the entire walk, because what could you say? What could you do? You’d just witnessed him kill someone as it were the easiest thing in the world, and he didn’t even seem slightly bothered by it. He just held you close while you clung to him as if your life depended on it, and you both stayed like that until you reached his room.

“You need to clean yourself up,” he told you gently after he finished cleaning up the cuts on your knees.

“That...that guy-”

“Is never going to bother you again.”

“But you...he’s just laying there-”

“It’s taken care of.”

“But what if-”

“Everything is going to be fine. You have nothing to worry about. He’ll never bother you again. No one will.”

“I should go back-”

“Stay here tonight and we’ll figure it all out tomorrow.”

“Lloyd...you have to-”

“I have to make sure you’re all good, Hummingbird.”

“No. No, you need to make sure-”

“Stop it. Every thing is as it should be. Go and clean up.”

In all honesty, that should’ve been enough for you. You knew, that night, that you needed to walk away. Lloyd had murdered someone and felt absolutely no remorse over it. In fact, as you stood under the shower head that night, you were more than sure that wasn’t his first time. When you got out of the shower, you cracked the door and heard him on the phone with someone (more than likely Denny), and he was talking to them about a neat “clean up”. Yes, that night showed you the kind of man you were dealing with, and you had more than enough proof that it was time to walk away.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you dried yourself off, got in bed next to him, and let him hold you close, feeling safer than you’d ever had in your life. Yeah, he’d killed a man, but he killed him for you. He’d told you time and time again that he’d do anything to keep you safe and that night he proved it. Plus, after that night, he was so insanely patient and sweet with you. For a man who had a reputation for not being able to keep his dick in his pants, he didn’t sleep around and didn’t mention anything sexual until you straddled him after an amazing football victory.

No, you can’t blame for Lloyd for much, because he’d never hidden who and how he truly was from the very beginning. You’d always known that he was hot headed, unhinged, and cruel. You’d always known that he was conniving, secretive, and was prone to violent outburst. You’d always known about every horrible thing about him, and maybe that’s why you stayed. Lloyd never seemed to give a damn about anyone or anything, but he gave a damn about you. He let you in more than he’d ever let anyone else in and it made you feel like he wasn’t lying.

When you had a chance to get out, you didn’t.

And yes: you did have an out. Lloyd backed off a lot after he murdered that asshole, because even he knew that he’d shown you the darkest side of himself. He saw the fear in your eyes that night, and he knew it would be best to back off and give you your space, but you pursued him. So yes, to an extent, this was your fault. Lloyd had always been himself and you decided to stay.

You always told yourself that he would grow out of it (which you knew was fucking stupid), and that he’d stick to the career path you two had setup. Looking back on it, maybe he just made the career path to appease you, and maybe you just wanted to live in the fucked fairy-tale just a bit longer, because somewhere deep down inside you knew.

You knew he would never be able to stick to being a football player, because he didn’t know how to listen to anyone (except maybe you), he didn’t do well in social settings unless he had to, and he always hit too damn hard on the field because of his temper and his need to lash out. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew your fairy-tale would end after college graduation. That’s why you fought with him over joining the CIA, and it’s why you knew he’d fail at it. However, you were hopeful that him getting kicked out would push him to choose another career path, but then they asked him to join the private sector and you knew you were fucked.

Yes, to an extent, you could blame yourself but that didn’t clear him of all wrong doing. You’d sacrificed so much if yourself for him and didn’t think the idea of him returning the favor was so far fetched. Fine, he had to work just like you did (especially to afford the life he wanted to live), but once you got pregnant, it should’ve been easy for him to see for himself that he needed to take a step back. It should’ve been enough for him to finally giving instead of taking.

He took you wanting him to take a step back as sign of no longer supporting him, when in fact, it was all about safety and security. For all of the flaws that it had, you loved your life and you wanted it to stay as it had become. The fact that Lloyd couldn’t see that is what triggered the arguments. Sure, you could’ve been more vocal (though you’re pretty sure you made your point pretty fucking clear), but it’s not like it was fucking rocket science. You two had a kid and safety precautions needed to be taken.

What was once a quality you adored about him, his ability and need to be stubborn and hold on to his beliefs, became a quality you hated. Still, you held on and tried to make the best of it, because you loved him with every fiber of your being. You knew the relationship was dying, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to let go. Even with the lonely nights, the brutal arguments, and the sleepless nights you couldn’t walk away.

Then he cheated, something you purposely pushed him towards, and you had an out again. Yeah, the whole process was awful and you hated it, but you told yourself it was for the best because it truly was. He needed something you could no longer offer, and you just couldn’t take feeling like another burden in his life. It was a clean break.

Except for Travis.

Despite all of the issues you and Lloyd had, you both loved Travis more than anything in the world. Lloyd was on time to pick him up whenever it was turn to have him, he stayed on him about his schoolwork and studying for any possible thing that could come up, and did his absolutebet to be every event Travis had. If you’re honest with yourself, it’s one of the reasons it was so hard for you to fall out of love with him. He was so dedicated and he loved Travis more than either ever thought possible. How could you not stay in love with him?

Still, enough damage had happened that it was easy enough for you to stay away, but it wasn’t enough to make you stop wanting and needing him.

“He was good this weekend,” Lloyd commented as Travis ran into your house.

“Did he make a fuss about the food? I know his appetite has been changing lately.”

“Yeah, since when the hell did he start liking peas?”

“That happened on Monday,” you laughed softly, “he wasn’t too fussy?”

“He gets sad sometimes, he likes having the both of us around, but I took him to the aquarium.”

“Oh God,” you groaned, covering your face with your hands.

“What?” he laughed.

“He’s gonna beg me to take him back. He’s been obsessed with it lately.”

“I didn’t know-”

“No, it’s fine. He’s a good kid, he deserves it.”

“Mama! Dad can stay for a bit, right?!” Travis asked enthusiastically.

“Uh...it’s up to your Dad,” you smiled at Lloyd with a shrug.

“Yeah, I can hang around for bit,” he smiled to Travis.

“Great! Mom made chicken parm and salad! We can watch ‘Tombstone’!” he practically yelled before he ran towards the kitchen.

Nights like that made it easy to blur the lines, because it was so easy to fall into a routine, and fall even more in love with Lloyd. Yes, Lloyd did a lot of fucked up things, but when it came to you in Travis, he was a good man. He’d stay over, watch movies, play video games, and read him stories until he fell asleep. Those were the nights that made it hard to stay away. Yeah, you only slept with him once during the divorce, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t other fuck ups, and they weren’t even his fault.

He’d be in the middle of what his schedule looked like for the week and you’d just kiss him. You knew that you were the one who set the rules in place, but seeing him in full Dad mode made you forget for just a moment about all of the hell you two had gone through. In those moments, you remembered how things were supposed to go. You two were still so much in love and having those small moments really made you want him all that much more. You never meant for those moments to happen, especially during the holidays, but it was just so damn hard. When Lloyd Hansen wants to be, he is the most loving and caring person to exist.

Which is why you’re currently staring at yourself in the mirror of the bathroom connected to the spare bedroom, trying to decide if going to Lloyd is the best thing. You know that if you go in there, you two won’t be able to keep to your hands to yourselves and you’ll end up under his spell.

Like always.

However, you can’t stop yourself from wanting him. His touch alone is enough to bring you peace, but him being buried deep inside you...that’s heaven.

It’s home.

It’s not even about needing to be satisfied physically, it’s the fact that no one will ever understand or love you the way that Lloyd does. He gets your crude and cruel sense of humor, he knows the best and worst parts of you, and he’s the Father of your child. Your relationship with him should be perfect, but it’s a fucking shit show, and you know that. You truly do, but no matter how much you try and get your heart to remember that one simple fact, you can’t. You’ve never been able to.

Lloyd, for all of his demons and flaws, is your endgame.

So, you don’t stop yourself from throwing on one of his old and beaten up Harvard sweaters (he always wanted to get rid of them but they held too much meaning to you), and a pair of boxer shorts, and making your way to his room. You know it’s not in your best interest, but you need him.

“Hey,” you say softly, standing in the doorway and looking down at your feet, “dinner was nice...thanks. I’m happy you and Travis made up.”

“We didn’t make up,” Lloyd scoffs as he throws his phone down, “he just hates me a little less than he did when we got home before.”

“He doesn’t hate you, Lloyd.”

“He doesn’t love me.”

“Yes he does,” you sigh, making your way into his bedroom and closing the door behind you, “he just...it’s gonna take time.”

“You’re always nicer than you should be,” he chuckles humorlessly.

“Well, I do love you.”

“A love I don’t deserve.”

“That’s also true.”

“Way to twist the knife.” “You said it.”

“Hummingbird, I really want...I need us to work this out. I can’t lose you again.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Lloyd. It’s not like I’m not still wearing the ring, I’m the one who wanted therapy, I’m making the effort instead of just walking away....I do want this. I’ve wanted this ever since our first date,” you smile weakly as you take a seat on the bed you two are supposed to share. “I just can’t take the stress your job puts on this family. Our family. Travis is in a fight every other week, we’re always arguing, both and Travis and I are always anxious to leave the house, I’m back keeping a pistol both in the glove compartment and my purse-”

“I don’t know how to be apart of this world as a regular, day-to-day citizen and you know that! You’ve always known that!”

“Then why did we have a child? A child that you were barely around for when he was first born!”

“Because I wanted everything with you! I still want everything with you!”

“This was a bad idea,” you sigh as you go to getup, “I don’t wanna spend another night-”

“Don’t go,” he pleads softly as he grabs your wrist, “please don’t go.”

It’s amazing how just his touch is enough to send your mind into a fog. It’s not like you went in there with any fight to begin with, but the hold he has on your wrist is more than enough to get you to give in to what you truly want. You’re straddling him almost instantly, cupping his before you pull him into a deep and passionate kiss.

You finally feel whole again.

“I miss you,” he breathes once you two break apart.

“Miss you too, baby,” you confess, pulling back just a little before pulling his sweater off, “I hate being away from you.”

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he marvels as his hands trace over your body, “I still can’t believe that you’re all mine. That you fucking chose me.”

“I’ll choose you every time, Huckleberry,” you moan as he massages your breasts, kneading your nipples between his fingers.

Once again, it’s never been lost on you how toxic the dance you two do is. You two can’t keep trying to solve everything with sex, you two have a child who sees the toxic relationship you two have daily, and your relationship is on its last leg.

All of that being said, you can’t fucking stop, because Lloyd is everything to you. Your family is everything to you. Everything you’ve ever wanted is everything Lloyd has given to you. The sad fact of the matter is, no matter how bad things are, you know you’ll never have the strength to tell him ‘no’. Hell, even if you two do breakup again, you wouldn’t deny him access to you any time he wanted.

That’s the hardest part about being in love with a devil. They’re a million and ten things wrong with Lloyd, and he was right: you knew all this and still started on this twisted and deranged fairy-tale with him. You should be repulsed by him, and it was a lot easier to be in high school when he was a preppy asshole, but for you? For you, Lloyd would do practically anything. He’s your sweetheart, your best friend, your comedian, your knight in shining armor, and he’s the love of your life.

He’s your Huckleberry.

In a matter of moments, your boxer shorts are off and you’re on top of him, ignoring all of the voices in your head telling you that this is a horrible idea.

“Fuck,” you sigh, slowly sinking yourself down on his cock, digging your nails into his shoulder as he pulls you apart, “oh God!”

“You look so fucking beautiful when you’re on top, Hummingbird,” he growls, gripping your hips tight as you start to grind your hips against, “and this fucking pussy!”

“Lloyd,” you whimper, trying to keep quiet as you chase the high only he can give you.

“Gonna do better for you, Hummingbird...be the man you deserve,” he promises as he starts to pump up into you hard and fast.

“SHIT!”

So much for being quiet.

“C’mon Hummingbird, give me what I need,” he begs, watching you in pure awe as you try and hang on, his hands finds its way between your legs and starts massage your clit, “been way too long, Hummingbird!”

“Oh God, please...yes! YES! FUCK!” you cry out, squirting hard on his cock, almost falling forward.

At some point, some point soon, you need to look into therapy for Travis.

“All for me and we’re just getting started,” he pants with a grin before getting you on your back, “gonna make you feel so fucking good tonight,” he promises before kissing you passionately as he starts to pump into you hard and fast.

“I love...love you so much, baby,” you moan, cupping his face as you let yourself get lost in the lie all over again.

“Yeah? Show much just how much tonight,” he whispers hotly against your ear, his hands caressing your body before nipping on your earlobe.

Yes, somewhere in the back of your mind, you know that the promises that are being made in this moment won’t stand when you’re able to think clearly, but you don’t care. Right now, you just can’t. You’ve been in love with Lloyd for so long and, if all you can do is live in the make believe world of happiness you two always find a way to make for yourselves, then you’ll take it.

You’ve missed your husband, you’ve missed his touch, you’ve missed him being buried deep inside of you, and you’ve missed feeling complete. Lloyd may be a complete and total monster, but he’s the only person whose ever made you feel seen and understood. Lloyd is perfect for you, except for all of the parts of him that aren’t.

How the hell are you ever supposed to feel secure in the choice you have to make? Being with him is the most draining and exhausting thing you’ve ever done, but being without him is absolute Hell and makes you feel insanely alone and depressed. There truly feels like no right answer.

You two spend the next couple of hours professing your love to one another, getting lost in the love that you feel for one another (which started all those years ago), and promise each other that you’ll work it all out.

You truly want to believe that you two will work it all out, because you don’t know how you’re supposed to go without him again. It just doesn’t feel possible.

“I called my Mother earlier,” Lloyd sighs, getting back into bed with you after cleaning you up, “she said she’ll take Travis for the week.”

“Why is he staying with your parents?”

“Why not?”

“Cause there’s no fucking structure in your family.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Hummingbird.”

“I’m sorry, have you not met yourself?”

“Fuck you.”

“You just did.”

“After the conference, we’re gonna go away and talk this out,” he laughs, wrapping an arm around you. “We’re find a way to make this work.”

“Lloyd-”

“I can’t be without you, Hummingbird. I can’t and I won’t. We’re gonna make this work,” he promises, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close. “We can make this work...we can be good again, Hummingbird,” he sighs, kissing the back if your neck softly.

You slowly start drifting off, feeling more relaxed and at ease then you have in weeks. You’re finally back where you belong, but you can’t stop one question from racing through your brain:

Were you two even really good to begin with?

“Mr. and Mrs Hansen,” Travis’ principle sighs, “this isn’t the first time we’ve had to talk about Travis’ behavior.”

No, you and Lloyd aren’t married again, but you’re still wearing the engagement ring, so who are you to correct her? Besides, you really do miss being Mrs. Hansen.

“You’re right, it isn’t, but Travis went to you and told you-”

“Our sweet boy has a broken nose! Your son-”

“Your son has been bullying mine for months!” you snap at Mrs. Heston, the mother of the kid Travis punched.

“So, your son had the right to respond with violence? Is that what you teach in your home?” Mr. Heston scoffs in a tone of pure disbelief.

“Better to teach our son to stand up for himself than to teach him to be a little rude little bitch,” Lloyd snarls.

“Mr. Hansen!” the principle reprimands.

“Listen,” you quickly interrupt in a weak attempt to defuse the situation, “Travis shouldn’t have hit Maxwell and he knows that, HOWEVER, Travis had come to you about it and you did nothing about it.”

“Boys will be boys, you know that,” Mrs. Heston chuckles, “he was only teasing-”

“I don’t think you would find it all that fucking funny if the shoe were on the other foot,” you snarl, quickly loosing all composure.

“No, it is by no means funny what happened to your son, and we’re truly happy he’s okay, but that doesn’t make up for him breaking our son’s nose. Your child is violent and on his way to becoming a delinquent,” Mr. Heston finishes with a huff and a nod.

You should’ve known that if you didn’t snap on one of these idiots, Lloyd would.In almost an instant, Lloyd is on the other side of the room and landing a blow to Mr. Heston’s face.

“Lloyd,” you sigh with a frustrated groan, grabbing your purse and getting up.

“You and your son a two little pieces shit,” Lloyd growls, ignoring you and the fact that hes now terrified the Hestons and the principal as he steps on the man’s chest, “and I’ll see both of you useless cum stains in hell,” he spits. “Don’t worry about Travis making up for time lost, because we’re pulling him out of this shit cage. The place is run by a bunch of morons anyway.”

“Mr. Hansen! We can work something-”

“We’re done here,” he says with a shrug before strutting out as if he hadn’t just scared the shit out of everyone with his temper.

No matter how hard he tries, they’re just some things about Lloyd Hansen that’ll never change.

“Mrs. Hansen-”

“You heard him: we’re done here,” you glare before following him out. “Lloyd-”

“Why don’t I ever fucking listen? And why the fuck don’t I ever listen?!”

“This isn’t field work, babe,” you sigh, taking your hand in his, “you can’t just hit people in the face-”

“You heard them! They weren’t taking accountability for their snot nosed little shit-”

“Lloyd, who do you thinks deals with all of this when you’re gone or too caught up with work? I know how they talk about him, how they see us, and I see the judgemental stares. I know how infuriating all of it is, but you can’t just fly off the handle because someone got under your skin.”

“Since when?”

“Since this isn’t your world. This is Travis’ world and you need to remember that your actions effect his life. Yeah, I’m happy that we’re finally pulling him out of hell hole, but he still has one or two friends. You don’t think this will get out?”

“It’s annoying...you always being right is annoying,” he sighs, finally coming to a stop, facing you, and leaning his forehead against yours as you giggle softly. “I’m sorry.”

“You know, I’m not the only one you owe an apology to.”

“Yeah, when we get back.”

“Why did you ask your Mom to take him for the week?”

“We need more than a weekend to talk this shit out, and I’m sure Travis needs a break from me and all my bullshit. My Mom adores the shit out of him and I know my Dad will keep him busy with books and sports talk.”

“There’s still no fucking structure at your parents place.”

“Next time, we’ll let him stay at your parents place,” he mumbles, “lets get out of here.”

“We to do the paperwork-”

“My assistant will take care of it. We need to get out of here before I break something.”

“You and that temper of yours,” you smirk before resuming your trip out of the building.

“It’s not like you fell in love thinking I was some fucking choir boy.”

“You are in fact correct, Huckleberry.”

“There’s my good little Hummingbird,” he coos and you start laughing.

God, please let this trip help the both of you, because you don’t know how the hell he’ll survive without you.

Or how you’ll survive without him.

The drive to wherever the hell Lloyd rented for you two is starting to feel like it’ll never end.

“Lloyd, can you please just tell me-”

“Hummingbird, stop asking.”

“We’ve been in the car for three and a half hours!”

“We’ve stopped for food and snacks-”

“That’s not the point, Lloyd! I’m tired of being in the car!”

“You weren’t this fussy when I drove you to the farm to propose to you.”

“Yes I was!”

“You were? I guess I was more nervous than I thought,” he says nonchalantly.

“Wait, you were nervous-”

“We’re here!” he announces, letting you know he won’t be diving back into that for the time being.

You begrudgingly turn attention to the windshield and gasp, “Lloyd!”

“I know this isn’t necessarily going to be fun, but I still wanted to try for you. You’ve been wanting to take a trip to the mountains for years, and I thought could at least soften some of the blows.”

“I don’t want to spend a week arguing with you, babe.”

“It’s not like I want to, and this is on me, but you’re the one who keeps saying that we have to be honest with one another about this shit. I want this to work. Us to work. So, lets rip off the band-aid.”

“Thank you, Lloyd. I love you.”

“I love you too, Hummingbird...ya know,” he starts with a mischievous grin, “we don’t have to start this thing off with an argument.”

“I swear to God,” you laugh as he unlocks the doors.

“There’s my good girl.”

The instant he’s on your side of the car, he’s opening your door, throwing you over his shoulder, and you can’t stop from giggling and kicking your legs a little as he rushes up the steps to unlock the front door. He’s quick to kick the door closed and is moving so fast that you barely get to take in the blur that is the house around you.

Well, it’s more like a mansion.

“Can’t wait to get you upstairs,” Lloyd husks as he sets you down on the kitchen counter, “I need you to make me feel better in only the way you can, and I need it now.”

“Take what you need, daddy,” you moan at the feel of his fingers skillfully undoing your jeans.

“Such a good girl,” he smirks, roughly pulling your pants off, and ripping your panties off, “you wore my favorite red lace ones? Aww, daddy will make it up to you later, sweetie. For now, daddy’s gonna abuse this this fucking body until he’s fucking satisfied, understand me?” he states firmly, sliding two fingers into your dripping cunt.

“Please,” you sigh, ecstasy taking over your body as lay back on your on your elbows, “do your worst daddy, please!”

“Daddy’s good little slut.”

“Anything for you!”

You writhe in pleasure as he starts to massage your clit, opting to take off your shirt and your bra, because you know what’s coming and you need to feel all of him when it finally gets to that point.

“Fuck! Need to...fuck!”

“Daddy didn’t say you can cum yet,” he taunts condescendingly, slapping your cunt with his other hand.

“DADDY!”

“You better not fuckin cum until I say so,” he warns, his voice menacing, only making you clench around his fingers, “been so long since you’ve been my little hasn’t it?”

“Too fucking long, daddy,” you moan as you start to massage your breasts, a silent gasp escaping your lips as you start kneading your nipples between your fingers.

“Change of plans, sweetie, you’re gonna finish off in daddy’s mouth.”

Instantly, Lloyd pulls you to the edge of the smooth marble countertop, dips down and starts sucking and pulling on your clit, and you buck your hips as you arch your back. Yeah, you two spent hours making up for lost time last night, but this is so much more different. Last night was all about apologies and making each other feel the love you’d both felt you’d been lacking, but right now? Right now is all about getting out all of those pent up feelings of anger and aggression, and not even towards each other. You haven’t forgotten that a few short hours ago, he punched a man in the face and practically stomped on his chest.

Yeah, you love the punishments he gives you, and it’s been entirely too long, but if denies you of an orgasm you may actually commit a crime.

“You’re so fucking good to me, daddy!” you whimper, eyes welling up with tears as you grip his hair and start grinding your pussy against his face. When you removes his fingers and replaces them with his tongue, you know you can’t hold on any longer, “please!”

With one hand, he grips your thigh tight, while teasing your clit with his thumb with the other, and you know he’s giving you his permission, thank God. You scream his name, gripping his hair tighter than you mean (you know he doesn’t give a shit), trying to enjoy the feel of him tongue fucking you through your high, but it isn’t enough.

You need more.

“Such a desperate, needy little thing,” he pants with a grin, clearly satisfied with his work as he stands up and looks you over, your juices shinning in his mustache.

“Daddy,” you beg pathetically, chest heaving as you prop yourself up on your shoulders, “please.”

“Please what?” he growls, unzipping his pants as he looks you over in your wrecked state, making no attempt to hide how much he wants to destroy you.

“Fuck me.”

“Say it again.”

“Fuck me. Fuck me so hard that I can’t walk, daddy. Destroy me, please!” you beg as your hand slides between your legs and you start to massage your clit. “Or do I have to remind you how to do it?”

In the blink of an eye, Lloyd pulls you off the counter, turns you around and pins your hands behind your back with one hand, forces you against the counter, and thrusts himself inside of you.

“FUCK!”

“You think you’re so fucking cute, don’t you?” he snarls as he slams into you hard and fast. “Thinking I forgot how to take care of what’s mine? Like I don’t know how the fuck to satisfy you?”

“DADDY!”

“Don’t go fucking stupid on me now, you little bitch! Answer the fucking question!”

All you can do is lull your head back as you scratch up your own wrists, getting lost in pure pleasure at feel of his breath on your neck.

Lloyd isn’t having that.

With his free hand, he grips your hair tight, pulls it tight and says, “I want a fucking answer. You get your fucking pussy eaten and forget how to respond? I asked you a fucking question!”

“Daddy!”

“Don’t tell me it’s too much for you now. Already fucked so stupid that you can’t answer a simple fucking question?” he asks, relentlessly fucking into you as he pulls your hair harder.

“I...I know you can fuck me good, daddy! I’m sorry-”

“Not yet, you little bitch!” he growls as he grips your throat. “Don’t ever make that mistake again, you understand me?!”

“Anything you say, daddy!” you sob, climax building as you try and fight off another release. “I’ll be so good for you!” “You bet your fucking ass you will be!” he growls as his grip on your neck gets tighter. “Pussy is so fucking tight...such a sweet little whore! Cum for daddy! Make a mess and cum so fucking hard for me, sweet girl!”

“FUCK!”

As you squirt hard on his cock (you’re more than sure you’ve gotten it on his pants), and your legs tremble as they struggle to hold you upright, you can’t help but wonder why Lloyd is the only person who can satisfy your needs.

“That’s a good girl,” he praises as your eyes flutter shut and you lull your head back. “Remember when we first started fucking? No one had ever been inside that tight little fucking asshole,” he taunts as his hand travels down your body, before reaching your ass and slapping it hard.

“Daddy!”

“Do you remember?”

“Fuck...yes! Yes, your cock is the only one...the only one thats been in my ass!”

“Been so long...think I might have to stretch out this tight little ass after I eat it. What do ya think, honey?”

“Please, daddy! Anything you want!” you whimper tugging at his shirt, “please!”

“What does my queen need?” he husks hotly against your ear, his grip tightening a little and you know he’s close.

“Please...take it off...wanna feel all of you!”

“Anything you want,” he promises with a grunt before forcing you to bend over the countertop, releasing your hands, taking his top off, and gripping your hips, tight. “You’re gonna cum hard for me while I fill you up, then you’re clean daddy off, and I’m gonna fuck you until I’m satisfied, you understand me, sweet girl?”

All you’re able to get out is a garbled moan as you claw at the countertop, too lost in the pleasure of him fucking you like his own personal rag doll.

“Daddy’s perfect little girl,” he chuckles darkly, “my favorite little cum slut, come on, baby, give me what I want!” he demands slamming his hips into you as he fills you to the brim.

Your brain may not be able to respond properly, but your body is on autopilot. You let out a pitiful moan as you squirt hard, laying your head against the cool marble top as your legs almost give out again.

“Always making such a pretty mess for me, baby,” he coos softly as he strokes your ass while pulling out, before slapping your it hard, “now clean me up!” he demands harshly.

What the hell were you two even supposed to be arguing about this week?

You do your best to get on your knees quickly, but the idea of functioning in any way is somewhat lost on you, and you know Lloyd loves it. Yeah, Lloyd loves when you’re a little sex vixen, but he also loves when he turns you into a puddle. The only thing that Lloyd loves more than your tears from getting lost in euphoria, is you being completely weak and a giant puddle.

He loves that, after all this time, he still makes you feel better than anyone else ever has and ever will.

“Look up at me, honey. Let me see that beautiful little face,” he demands condescendingly as he grips your face.

You can’t even begin to imagine how fucking wrecked you look. You’re more than sure your mascara is ruined, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you have a dazed and fucked out look on your face.

You look exactly the way he loves.

“My beautiful little cum dump,” he snickers, “open.”

You instantly obey and he doesn’t even give you a chance to prepare yourself for him, before he starts roughly face fucking you. The crazed look in his eyes only makes you crave him more, and the devilish smirk playing on his lips lets you know that he knows what’s going on in your brain.

“Need me to stuff that pussy with this fat cock again, Hummingbird? Make you cum until you pass out and I’m still fucking you? You miss that so much don’t you?” he teases as he grips your hair tighter.

You can only moan in response, but you know he knows that you’re agreeing with him. As much as you love Travis, things changed drastically once he was brought into the picture.

As they should have.

Yes, you and Lloyd still had what some may call ‘wild sex’ (Tina did), but you two brought it down a lot. There would be no way in hell for the two of you to explain to a three year old why Lloyd’s balls deep in your ass while you have a ball gag in your mouth, and your hands are bound behind your back.

Maybe that’s also a factor that you hadn’t thought of when it comes to the reason as to why you two fell apart.

No, you two didn’t make sex your entire relationship, but it definitely played an important part. You were just as sexual and perverse in your sexual desires as Lloyd was, and when the arguments started to become more and more, the sex became less and less. It’s not like either of you wanted it to happen, but the angrier you two got, the harder it was for you two to separate angry sex from mind-numbing, passionate sex.

Lack of conversation, lack of passion, lack of sex...all of it truly played a part in the downfall of your relationship, but you can’t focus on that right now. Not when you two have each other like this, vulnerable and out in the open like this. Yes, you two would have date nights when Travis would go and stay with his friends or his grandparents, but it wasn’t the same, because you both were waiting on him to call and ask either of you to pick him up. No, this was different because, for the first time in a long time, you two had real alone time together.

Neither of you were about to ruin it with drama that hadn’t even stared yet.

“Tell me how much you need, daddy, Hummingbird,” Lloyd moans as he continues to fuck your mouth. “You love when I fucking destroy you for anyone else?”

You don’t even make an effort to try and push him off so you can answer him. You just keep taking the assault he gives you, hoping your eyes tell him everything you need to say but can’t.

“Daddy should reward you, shouldn’t he?” he chastises as he grips your hair and forces you off his cock.

God help you.

Without any hesitation, he’s pulling you up, before picking you up and forcing your legs around his waist.

“You did so good for daddy, Hummingbird,” he praises as he thrusts himself inside of you, and you gasp at the feel of him splitting you apart all over again. “Always been such a good little whore for me, baby,” he coos as he softly drags his nose across your collar bone. “So filthy and so beautiful, and it’s all for me, isn’t it?”

“Only ever for you, daddy,” you whimper, your head lulling back as he fucks into you as if hes been without you for years.

Easily enough, he maneuvers around the house, as if hes been there a million times, as he kisses you all over, the hairs of his mustache tickling your chest lightly as you grip his hair and roll your hips against his. God, you can’t remember the last time you two were able to be so needy and desperate in the most pathetic way. Even though you two have been back together for a little over a year, you’re always the one to remind him that Travis is at the age where he can be emotionally scarred by the weird and kinky shit you two are into.

“Daddy’s gonna be nice and let you take what you want from him,” he groans as he takes a seat on the couch, licking your chest with the tip of his tongue and it sends a shiver down your spine as you feel him go deeper inside of you.

“Missed you so much,” you whimper as you start to ride him, “haven’t had you like this in forever, daddy!”

“Yeah? You missed being fucked like the little desperate whore you are?”

“You know I do!”

“My poor little sweet thing,” he coos condescendingly as you pick up your pace, his hand snaking its way around your throat and gripping it tight, “been so unsatisfied because I haven’t been able to fuck in the torture room like I did a couple of months ago?”

“DADDY!”

“Took my cock so fucking well that night, baby, remember?” he questions as he presses kisses along your neck.

There’s no way you could forget that night. Travis had gone to bed early, you and Lloyd got into a drunken argument, you told him that you two needed to take it to the basement because you both were getting too loud and you didn’t wanna wake Travis, and it turned into fucking all night in positions you hadn’t done since college.

The next day, Travis kept asking you why you were walking so slow and funny, and you lied and told him you pulled something.

“Oh, someone’s close,” Lloyd smirks, as you clench around him at just the thought of that night.

“Feels so good to be your rag doll, daddy! So happy...so happy to please you!”

“Jesus, fucking cum for me right now, Hummingbird! Fucking make a mess all over this fucking sofa!”

“Can’t...need to fucking...oh my GOD!”

“Be a good girl for daddy and fucking cum!” he demands roughly.

It’s amazing how quickly you turn into putty for this man.

“God, YES!” you scream as your release washes over.

Lloyd gives you no chance to recover as he pins you down and starts fucking into you hard and fast.

“DADDY PLEASE!”

“Such a filthy little thing,” he grunts, his pace unrelenting as you claw at his back, “creaming all over my fucking cock like a desperate little whore!”

“I’m so fucking close!”

“Yeah you fucking are, and you’re gonna fucking ruin this sofa with that sweet cream between your fucking legs!”

“Oh my...FUCK! YES, PLEASE!”

“Give it to me, Hummingbird!”

“LLOYD!” you scream as you cream hard all over his cock, more than sure you’ve followed his command of making a mess on the sofa.

“Y/N!” he growls into your neck, his release filling you up, and you can’t help but smile at the feel of it leaking out and running down your ass cheeks. You both take a moment to get yourselves together, before Lloyd asks, “you had enough, Hummingbird?”

“Not even close,” you breathe.

“That’s my girl.”

You and Lloyd stay at it for hours, he has you in every room he can find (almost as if he’s christening the house), marking each other up, degrading each other, while also building each other up, and it’s heaven. You want to stay locked in this moment for the week, but you know you two have to deal with reality at some point.

“Daddy! Please don’t stop!” you cry out as Lloyd fucks into you relentlessly from behind, as you two fuck up the pillows in the master bedroom.

“Give me that sweet cream! Be the little slut you’ve always been and make a fucking mess!”

“Can’t...so close!”

“C’mon, I know my Hummingbird can-”

“FUCK!” you scream as his hand tightens around your neck, your orgasm hitting so hard your legs almost give out.

“Such a good fucking girl,” he growls as he fills you for what feels like the millionth time. “Always such a warm fucking finish,” he breathes as he rests his head in the crook of your neck.

He rides out both of your highs before pulling out, collapsing next to you, and pulling you close. You lay your head on his chest, rest one of your hands on his pecs, and try to match his breathing.

It’s the closest you’ve felt to heaven in a long time.

“You ready to argue?” he asks once his breathing evens out.

“I guess so.”

“Lets fuckin have it out, Hummingbird.”

God help you both.

The arguments you two have in the next few days following your grand opening fuck fest are brutal to say the least.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Hummingbird,” Lloyd growled as he walked out of the kitchen and into the back patio.

“Well you’re gonna fucking hear about it! You’re the greediest son of a bitch, and I am tired of you acting like it’s everyone else with the fucking problem!”

“Hummingbird, you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve being mad about a fucking job that keeps a roof over your head-”

“I had my own fucking job that kept a roof over Travis and I’s head-”

“And where is that job now?!”

“Watch it, Hansen,” you warned, “lets not get into the fucking blame game here, because we both know it wasn’t me who lost me that fucking job!”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N! You’ve always known that my job comes with a level of-”

“Oh my God! You’re a fucking sociopath that has a nice fucking government job to hide behind!”

“You know that’s not-”

“It is! Stop lying to me like I’m someone who hasn’t known the darker parts of you-”

“EXACTLY! YOU FUCKING KNEW!” he roared at you. “You’ve known since that, and I’m pretty fucking sure since before then too! I backed off and gave you a chance to leave, and you sought me out! Don’t make it seem like I dragged you into hell! You willingly came-”

“THEN WE HAD A FUCKING CHILD, LLOYD! Why is it so preposterous that I wanted you to pull back, you selfish fuck?! What the fuck did you expect me to do?! I didn’t stray from the career path, you did! And you sure as shit made sure to tell me about it after you made your choice!”

“Then why did you say ‘yes’?!”

“Because I love you, you stupid sack of shit! I love you and, I don’t know, I thought that we’d have some sort of fucking future together, because you kept talking about settling down and having a family! Then, in trying to fucking start that family with you, I had two fucking miscarriages that you couldn’t even be bothered to notice, because you were too wrapped up in yourself to even fucking notice anything! For fucks sake, did you even want Travis? Or was it just to feed into this version of yourself that you were trying to create?! Jesus, do you even fucking love him?!” you shouted, instantly regretting it.

“FUCK YOU!” he spat. “You fucking know that you and him are my entire universe-”

“THEN WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING ACT LIKE IT?!” you screamed as your tears finally started to fall. “You make us feel like the biggest burdens, when all we’re trying to do is be a part of your world-”

“MY WORLD IS TOO DARK FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!”

“THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FIGHTING SO HARD TO SAVE THIS FUCKING DEAD END MARRIAGE?!” you sobbed before you stormed back into the house.

You both would take things entirely too far, holding each other accountable for every terrible crime you two had committed against each other, and wanting one another to know that neither of you was blameless in the downfall of the marriage. However Lloyd, being the secret sweetheart that he is, would make sure you two didn’t go to bed mad at one another.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed as he approached the bedroom, leaning against the door frame.

“We’re a fucking time bomb,” you sniffled with a halfhearted chuckle as you wiped your eyes.

“I constantly ask why you didn’t just leave, like I didn’t bother the fuck out of you, and that’s not fair. The moment I laid eyes on you, I needed you and I didn’t want you with anyone else. In High School, I knew I didn’t have a chance, but college? I told myself that I’d be a version of myself that you deserved. I tried to fit into a roll that I never had any business trying to to even get close to. I really want to be that guy for you, Hummingbird. The guy. My actions never follow up, and...I know it’s on me and I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I did about you loving Travis. I know how much you love the both of us, it’s never been a question, and that was a low blow. I’m really sorry, Lloyd.

“I love you, Hummingbird.”

“I love you too, Huckleberry.”

“Maybe we should start leaving certain things off the table?”

“Maybe we should start learning how to control our tempers,” you giggled as he made his way into the bed room. He was slow to get to the bed, but was quick to pull you close. “I want to save this “dead end marriage”, because you and Travis are my entire life and I need to start acting like it.”

“Why is it so simple for you in these moments, but-”

“Please don’t ask, because I don’t fucking know. I really don’t, but I know that I do truly want to make this work. I know I don’t always act like it or always show it, but I fucking mean it, Hummingbird. I exist for you and Travis and you and Travis alone. I will be better, and I know I keep saying that and fucking up, but I will be.”

“Lloyd, would it be so terrible if we just walked away-”

“You know it would be. Don’t do that. Don’t ask questions-”

“We’re always hurting one another-”

“No, I’m always hurting you and lashing out at you when you rightfully get angry. Losing you is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with, with almost losing Travis coming in at number one with almost dying. Being without either of you is something I can’t do.”

“Lloyd...” you trailed off with a sob.

“Hummingbird,” he cooed softly as he gripped your waist and pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him, “we can do this. You’re right when you say this isn’t college and we can’t keep going on like we have, and I know it’s on me. It’s on me and I swear I’m gonna do better. Please, just don’t give up on us. It’s a hard ask, but please.”

“Lloyd...”

“Please,” he begged softly before he started to litter the side of your neck with soft and desperate kisses. “Please.”

That’s when you were always at war with yourself. You knew what came with the soft and sweet moments: the darkness and chaos of his world. However, Lloyd is your world, and walking away isn’t as easy as everyone would like for it to be.

“How’re you?” Travis asked via FaceTime as you took a seat at the patio outside. “Where’s Dad?”

“I’m good. We both are. He’s at the grocery store.”

“Are you two coming back soon? I love Gran and Poppy, but they’re driving me crazy. I asked to go and see Nana and Pop-pop and Gran damn near threw a fit.”

“Travis!”

“Well, she did!” he huffed as he settled onto his bed. “How did you even end up with Dad? Your families are so different. You two are so different.”

“Sometimes opposites just attract,” you sighed, knowing where it was headed.

“I just don’t get it. Dad’s an asshole. He’s either here and ruining everyone’s mood, or he’s buried in work and acting like we don’t exist.”

“He’s adjusting. It’s hard, Trav. We’re all adjusting, because the life we’re trying to have now is a lot different from the one we had before.”

“Yeah, but you left him.”

“It’s not because I don’t love him anymore. Honey, we both love each other so much, and your Father would do absolutely anything for you.”

“I know,” he muttered.

“He’s trying, baby.”

“Well, he needs to try harder.”

“Travis, I know it’s hard, trust me, but you have to have patience with him. No matter what happens between he and I, he’s always going to be your Father and he thinks the world of you. Even if he doesn’t always act like it.”

“I just wish he could be normal.”

“There’s no such thing as normal, sweetie. I hate to break it to you.”

“Normal dads don’t punch other dads in the face.”

“He was being a total dick and it was more than warranted. Sometimes, your Dad shows his love with his fists.”

“But it’s a problem when I do it.”

“When you start making a living off if, maybe I’ll reconsider it,” you smiled sarcastically as you took a sip of wine. “Just...give him a chance, honey. He stopped doing field work to be closer to home and keep an eye on us, but it’s a major change for him too. It’s a major change for all of us, and we’re all doing our best.”

“I liked him a lot more when he wasn’t home.”

“Travis...please. If you only knew just how much he truly loves you.”

“What does he even do?”

“You know he works with your Godfather.”

“Doing what?”

“Things you’re not old enough to know about yet, and you don’t want to know about.”

“I’ve almost died twice-”

“And he feels terrible about that! Travis, I’ve only ever seen your Father cry once, and it was when you were fighting for your life. He still hates himself for that.”

“Mom-”

“Travis, he’s not a bad guy. He may gray the area sometimes, but when it comes to this family, he’s not a bad guy. Please.”

“I know that he loves me, and I love him. I want us all to be together, but not if he’s going to keep-”

“He’s not. Travis, I promise. He knows that things have to change and he’s determined to make those changes. Please, just be patient. I know you’ve dealt with a lot, but everyone is doing their absolute best. It’s going to get better. No matter what happens between your Father and I, things are going to get better for you.”

“Do I really get to be home schooled?”

“Yup, it was all your Dad’s doing.”

“Really?”

“Yup, he finally gets it.”

“I miss going to the aquarium with him.”

“Have you told him?”

“No.”

“Do you think you should?”

“He doesn’t seem to wanna be bothered by me.”

“Trav, he misses you too. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to spend time with you. He thinks you hate him.”

“Well, I think he doesn’t give a shit about me.”

“Travis, I swear to God-’

“Gran doesn’t care!”

“And look how your Father turned out. There’s no fucking structure in that family,” you muttered before you could stop yourself, “do NOT say that.”

“Everyone can swear except me.”

“Stop being in such a rush to grow up. It sucks,” you laughed before taking a sip of your drink.

“Can we all go to a movie or something when you two get back?”

“Funny you should ask, because your Dad got us tickets to a Patriots game next week-”

“HE DID?!”

“He thought it’d be make you happy,” he laughed softly. “He really wants to make things right, honey. I know it’s a lot and it’s not easy, but he’s trying. Just give him time, okay?”

“Fine. I guess it’s not-”

“TRAVY!” Stef, Lloyd’s Mother called and you rolled your eyes.

“I swear to God that’s the dumbest nickname ever,” you scowled.

“Why do you hate her so much?”

“I don’t hate your Grandmother, she’s just...a lot to deal with. Look at your Father.”

“You chose him.”

“That I did,” you laughed. “Go see what she wants before she has a breakdown. I love you and your dad and I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“I love you too, Mom. I can’t wait till you’re both back,” he smiled before hanging up.

For just a moment, your heart felt lighter and you were happier, but it all went away when you saw Lloyd leaning against the doorway.

“How much did you hear?” you asked softly.

“Lets go for a hike, Hummingbird,” he shrugged as he pushed himself off the door frame and slid his shoes back on.

“Lloyd-”

“It makes no sense to come all the way out here and not doing something you love. It’s been forever, c’mon.”

The drive was silent, and the hike was silent too, until you reached the waterfalls and you two took a seat.

“He hates me,” Lloyd muttered after a moment.

“Lloyd-”

“Don’t try to butter me up, Hummingbird. He hates-”

“He doesn’t hate you, Huckleberry, he just doesn’t know you. At least, not anymore. Who you were before the incident and who you are now...you’re not the same with him.”

“I don’t want him to be soft and unprotected-”

“You don’t have to be your Father, Lloyd. It’s best if you aren’t,” you chuckled humorlessly.

“There’s nothing wrong-”

“Look at our family, Huckleberry. Look at us. No, your Father isn’t terrible, but he’s the farthest from the best.”

“You love me.”

“And I’m still trying to figure out why,” you smirked.

“Come here,” he encouraged with a devilish smirk.

“Lloyd-”

“Come rest in my lap, Hummingbird.”

You knew that it would only lead to trouble, but you couldn’t stop yourself as you straddled him.

“Daddy-”

“Remember the last time we were in front of a waterfall? That’s when you got pregnant with Travis.”

“Daddy-”

“Lets see if we can recreate that night...minus the bonfire,” he chuckled before he started biting sucking on your sweet spot.

Yes, a lot of days (if not all of them) had ended with sex, but it was nothing like when you two were fucking to avoid the problem at hand. You two were making love because you wanted to make up for lost time and because you both just wanted to feel close again. It feels like it’s been forever since you and Lloyd just got to hangout and you truly did miss your best friend.

“I think our son is gonna kill your parents,” you giggle as you make your way out onto the upper deck.

“Yeah, I just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago. Next time, we’ll leave him with your parents,” he mutters as he pulls you down onto his lap.

“How’d that conversation go?”

“Good. He wants to go to the aquarium when we get back. Just me and him, he thanked me for finally deciding on home schooling, and I apologized for being a complete jackass for the last few months...and before that.”

“Both my boys finally getting along again,” you sigh a small smile on your lips as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I feel bad. We should rent this house again and bring him next time. He’d love it. Like his Mother, he’d hate the drive, but he’d love it here.”

“We can bring him here whenever we want. This is our house.”

“I’m sorry, come again?! you exclaim, sitting up and looking directly at him.

“It’s ours,” he chuckles, perfect showing just a bit, “well, if you decide you want there to be an us. I had it built for you. No matter what you decide, I wanted to give you something big, and I feel like this is a good start.”

“Lloyd...”

“We’ve been together for how long and I just did this for you? I owe you so much, and I figure this was the easiest to start with.”

“Lloyd! This had to cost a fortune!”

“Don’t worry about it-”

“Oh God, who did you kill?”

“What does that mean?”

“Whenever you’ve told me not to worry about something, it’s because you killed someone.”

“Name one time-”

“The boss I had before my last one. I told you that I didn’t get the promotion, and the very next day, I had the promotion and my boss was dead.”

“He was an asshole.”

“You still killed him.”

“You let me fuck you so hard we broke the bed. You didn’t seem too torn up about it.”

“I called you a piece of shit all night,” you retort with an eye roll.

“Well, not all night. You did let stick that-”

“LLOYD!”

“I didn’t kill anyone, Jesus Christ,” he laughs, grip on you tightening a little. “Denny did.”

“Jesus!”

“It was all business related. I’m a million miles away from it. Any way, the person who needed the favor, offered Denny anything he wanted, Denny asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted this.”

“Why did he ask you what you wanted?”

“He feels bad. He doesn’t care about much, but he cares about this family cause it’s his too, and he can’t help but feel slightly responsible for the current state we’re in.”

“Do my ears deceive me? Are Lloyd Hansen and Denny Carmichael actually...soft?” you question with a gasp, feigning surprise.

“Watch it, Hummingbird,” he warns and you flip him off.

“You don’t scare me, Hansen. My crazy can match yours.”

“Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.”

“You were nervous to propose to me?” you question, remembering how quickly he changed the subject once he pulled up to the house.

“Of course I was,” he scoffs as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“You didn’t seem nervous.”

“Why do I feel like you wanna have a long talk about this?”

“Because you’re as smart as you are pretty,” you smile sarcastically and he rolls his eyes.

“Inside, Hummingbird. If we’re gonna talk about my fucking feelings, I’m gonna need a fucking drink.”

“That’s not a good habit,” you mumble as he picks you up and forces your legs around his waist.

“Yeah well, you have me in a rare position and that’s terrifying to me too,” he shrugs while opening the screen door, smirking as he looks down your exposed cleavage in your low-cut shirt.

“What position is that?” you giggle as he rushes down the stairs.

“The position of me giving you whatever your heart desires.”

“Except quitting,” you sigh as he places you on the kitchen counter.

“You and I both know there’s gotta be some work around from me quitting. I agree, I need to handle all of this shit better, but quit and do what, Hummingbird?”

“You could be a coach, open your own weapons store, work on the analytics team for the Patriots, work for fucking Harvard-”

“You know good and fucking well that none of those jobs will keep me and my issues at bay.”

“Lloyd-”

“Can we have one argument at a time?”

“I don’t wanna argue about this!”

“We always argue about it! This is what the hold up is with our relationship, isn’t it? You’re in love with someone who’s fucked up in multiple ways, and I won’t let you go because you and Travis are the one thing in this world that I actually give a damn about. The one thing that you can’t deal with is the job, and it’s not even because it makes you look at me in a different light. You’ve seen what I’ve done, you’ve done what I’ve done, and you get it. The issue isn’t that you hate what I do, it’s that it’s a risk a to Travis, and you hate that. You hate it because you should be repulsed by what I do and how I am, and it should’ve been enough to make you walk away years ago, but it wasn’t. Now, you have an unhinged husband and a child fighting for normalcy, and unlike me, us having a child was enough for you to realize that things needed to change.”

“Then why can’t you-”

“BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO, HUMMINGBIRD!” he shouts, and you feel his heart break at his confession. “I am not like you! I can’t just look at the fucked up shit I do and say, “it’s time to find something else.”! No, I keep thinking I can fix everything and save everyone, because I don’t know how to be normal around our son without doing all of the dark bullshit you don’t want to know about! So yes, that is where we keep getting stuck, because neither of us can find a solution!”

“Lloyd-”

“I know I’m not easiest to love, Hummingbird. I know that I’ve made all of this hard since day one, but you stayed despite all of it. You stayed and made me feel normal and safe, and how could I not fall more in love with you? Now, this is where we are, and I can’t fucking blame you, I really can’t, but I can’t let either of you go. You want me to lay all my cards on the table? There they are. I don’t know how to be the man you need me to be without this job,” he sighs before he downs his drink.

You don’t even know how to respond, because everything he said is right. You hate that you’ve always been able to stomach and look away from the shit he does, because of how he is with you. Lloyd is capable of a lot of horrible things, but for you? He’s always been your knight in shinning armor. Granted, he’s a chaotic knight and shinning armor, but he’s still yours nonetheless. The fact of the matter is, if his job wasn’t so dangerous to Travis, you’d still look the other way. You’d look the other way, pretend it was all normal and okay, and go on with your happy family.

The reality of this makes you face a harsh truth: maybe Lloyd was never the issues. Maybe its always been you.

“Why were you nervous to propose?” you ask softly, faint smile playing on your lips as you blink back your tears.

“Hummingbird-”

“Why?”

“The same I’m nervous now: you don’t need me.”

“Lloyd-”

“It’s not a slight at you, Hummingbird, it’s just a fact. You’re smart as a whip, you can get any job you want, you’re gorgeous, you’re strong...you don’t nee me. Maybe that’s what always attracted me to you, maybe it’s what made me want to be better, and maybe it’s what drives me insane. What the hell would you ever need me for? To raise a kid? Travis is clearly better off with you,” he scoffs as he pours himself a drink and pours you one of your own. “Its been clear from day one that you don’t need shit from me, and that terrified me, because I needed you. I’ve always needed you and and I always will. You’re the normal one, I’m not,” he smirks as he puts your drink down next to you before settling between your legs.

“Huckleberry...”

“I need you to reel me back in, I need you to make simple fucking meals, I need you to tell me when I’m getting too high off the ground, I need your love, I need your patience, I need to hear your laughter, I need your understanding, I need your guidance...I needed you and I’ve never needed anyone. Even now, I need you more than you’ve ever needed me-”

“I really wish you knew how much that isn’t true. Lloyd...I didn’t feel like I was alive until I started...hanging out with you,” you laugh softly. “I’m able to be such a good Mom, because I know Travis has you to fall back on, if that makes any sense. I know you’re always in his corner, wanting the best for him, and always loving him. The love I know you feel for him is what keeps me strong when I feel like I’m doing all of this wrong. You attempting to make breakfast when I’m too tired and/or worn out to do it, you taking him for an extra week when you could tell that I needed to decompress over whatever war I’d gone through with my Mother...you know me, Lloyd. You know me better than anyone else ever has, and you’ll always know me better than anyone else ever will.”

“Tell me we can make this work,” he begs softly, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I really want us to, and you’re right. You’re 100% right. If Travis weren’t in the picture, I would be able to keep continuing to stomach it and look the other way, but I can’t anymore. I love him too much- “

“You don’t think I do too?!”

“I never said that. I know you do, Lloyd-”

“Then why can’t you just trust-”

“Lloyd we’ve almost lost him twice. Something’s gotta give, Huckleberry. I can’t live in the constant state of fear and anxiety. I love you, but I can’t do it anymore. It’s not fair to Travis and it’s not fair to me.”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Lloyd, you always-”

“Hummingbird, I will figure this out. Just...please,” he begs softly.

You look up into his eyes and you can tell that he means everything he’s saying. There’s still a part of you that’s telling you, you two should just stop now and save each from more battle wounds, but there’s also a bigger part of you that you and Lloyd aren’t finished yet and never will be.

“Lloyd, I’m done with the arguing, the back and forth, and you’ve gotta keep your shit together around Travis. Even if you and I are having an argument.”

“I swear.”

“Lloyd, I fucking mean it. I can’t keep being the only who gives while you just take-”

“Hummingbird, I swear, shit is gonna change. But don’t...”

His heavy sigh lets you know that he’s at war with himself about what he’s going to say.

“Jesus...I love you, Y/N. I will never stop and you’re my world. You and Travis...don’t say yes to me if this isn’t what you truly want. It was different before, and I get that. What I did, what you saw me do...if you want to leave, if you don’t truly want this anymore....Hummingbird...this is your out, cause if you say you’re staying then this is it. There’s no leaving, breaking up, time apart, separating...this is it, Hummingbird. If you want to end it all for good, you need to say so now,” he tells you sincerely.

A small smile tugs at your lips as you cup his face, “that is a hell of thing for you to say to me.”

Instantly, Lloyd picking you up, forcing your legs around his waist, and running towards the stairs as you burst out laughing.

“Lloyd! I have to make dinner!” you squeal as he effortlessly runs up the steps.

“Fuck dinner, What I want is right between those fucking perfect legs of yours!”

“Lloyd!”

“We’re in for a long night, Mrs. Hansen.”

As you and Lloyd keep each other up, getting lost in each other repeatedly and almost breaking the damn bed (again), an oddly calming feeling that you’ve never with him before. Yes, you’ve been in love with him forever, but there’s always been a sense of dread and stress in the back of your mind. It’s obviously never been enough for you to walk away, but it’s been enough to always make you wonder what exactly is wrong with you to stay in a relationship a very obvious sociopath.

However, as you two finally get back into the kitchen and you start on dinner as he goes over what he wants for wedding number two, something tells you that it’s gonna work out this time. You don’t know what it is, you don’t wanna think too much on what it could be, but you’ve felt this at ease before and you know it’s gonna be okay.

For the first time in a very long time, you know things are finally go the way they’re supposed to go.

4 Months Later...

“Where is he?!” you asked frantically as you made your into the frat house, seeing two guys with bloodied (and you’re assuming broken) noses, and one guy laid out with a black eye.

“In the game room, drunk as fuck,” Denny mumbled as he gave one of the guys an ice pack.

“What the hell happened?!”

“I don’t know, Y/N. You know how he is. Lloyd is a fucking time bomb. One second, he’s fine and the next...”

“Why has no one ever fucking considered putting him on meds?!”

“I thought you met his parents three months ago?”

“Something had to trigger it though. What happened leading up to this brawl to end all brawls?” you scowled as you looked around the room.

There was one broken coffee table, multiple broken lamps, a shattered fish tank, a couple of broken chairs, a few destroyed pillows, and a broken desk.

You left him alone for two fucking days.

“I honestly don’t know. There was some fucking movie on...’Tombstone’, I think? I don’t know, it was on when I got here, anyway, there was some fucking scene with Doc Holliday in the hospital and his girl wasn’t there with him and Tim said “that goes to show that none of these bitches stick around when it gets tough.” Lloyd just lost it.”

“Fuck, I’ll take care of this-”

“Y/N, he’s not in a good mindset at all. Leave him alone.”

“I can handle him, Denny. You just make sure no one presses charges,” you told him softly before you made your way into the game room.

You took a deep breath before you closed the door behind you.

“What the fuck do you want?!” Lloyd slurred once his attention was on you, “don’t you have to go and study or some shit?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! It’s 2pm on a fucking Sunday!”

“I haven’t heard from you in two fucking days!”

“No, you haven’t seen me in two fucking days! Lloyd-”

“You’re gonna leave and I don’t need to deal with that shit, so, fuck you!”

“Lloyd, I swear to Christ-”

“You have no fucking reason to stay! Why? Because I killed some piece of shit for you?!”

“Lower your fucking voice, you idiot!” you snapped in a hushed tone as you made your way deeper into the room.

“What fucking reason do you have-”

“I just fucking told you I love you!”

“Two days ago and then you fucking disappeared on me-”

“I didn’t fucking disappear! I’m not you! I can’t just do whatever the hell I want because I’m on my parent’s money! I have to keep my grades up and study! I can’t be with you every fucking five seconds, because you need to be fucking babied!”

“You’re so full of shit!”

“Lloyd, I swear to God-”

“There’s something wrong with me, Hummingbird! What fucking reason do you have to stay with me?! What’s keeping you here?!”

“You,” you answered simply.

“Y/N-”

“Lloyd, I didn’t tell you I love you because you said it first. I said it because I meant it and I still do now. You don’t think I see the issues and the flaws? Of course I do. I saw them that night, but I still came back, didn’t I? I love you. For as flawed and fucked up as this all is, I still love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Doc Holliday’s wife-”

“It’s a fucking movie, Lloyd.”

“Based on real life!”

“Yeah, but you’re not Doc Holliday and I’m not Kate. I love you.”

“You’re gonna fucking leave.”

“Do you plan on fucking cheating on me?”

“You know that you’re the only for me.”

“Then we’ll be fine, because I feel the same about you. I love you and I’m in this. Yeah, you’re fucked up, but...I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. No one is perfect and this life isn’t some cookie cutter bullshit. I just know that how we feel about each other is real and it’s too fucking late for me to walk away because you’re unhinged.”

“Hummingbird-”

“I’m all in, Huckleberry, are you?”

“You’re just gonna push me to the side when all of this becomes too much for you.”

“That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me,” you smiled softly at him.

In no time at all, Lloyd picked up and placed you on the pool table, and kissed you passionately.

“Not here,” you giggled as he kissed down your jawline, “someone could walk in!”

“Then they’re welcome for giving them the best porno they’ll ever see,” he growled against your neck before biting down on it.

How did that whole situation feel like a lifetime ago?

“Why the hell did we invite both of our families over?” Lloyd whines as he makes his way into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you put the last layer of lasagna together.

“Because this is officially our new home, Travis has been doing really good with his homeschooling, you two have been getting along really well, we’ve been getting along really well, the wedding is back on track...I don’t know, it just felt like the thing to do,” you shrug, a smirk tugging at your lips.

“What are you not telling me, Hummingbird?”

“Now, why would you think I’m not telling you something?”

“Because I know that look and you’re keeping a secret.”

“How dare you say such a thing?”

“Hummingbird,” he growls into your neck as he grips your hips tight, “remember what happened the last time you tried to keep it a secret from me?”

“Daddy, you need to behave,” you moan, trying to ignore the arousal pooling between your legs.

“You ended up pregnant with Travis.”

“Both of our families are here, so you need to be on your best-”

“Dad,” Travis calls, clearly annoyed as he enters the kitchen.

“What,” Lloyd groans as buries his face into the crook of your neck and you start cracking up.

“Please come out here and break up this argument.”

“What the fuck-”

“Lloyd!” you snap.

“What the hell is going on out there?”

“Gran and Nana are about to kill each other.”

“Which means my Mother is about to kill your Mother,” you mumble and Lloyd scowls.

“How is it, that both of our Fathers are here, and I still have to deal with this shit?”

“This is our present for not calling off the wedding. Go handle it.”

“Yeah fine, but we’re not done talking about this,” he warns before slapping your ass, letting go of you, and making himself a drink. “You,” he shoots towards Travis, “what did you try and do to resolve the issue?”

“I asked which one of them wanted to take me to that amusement park in Paris you told me about,” Travis shrugs and you almost fell over laughing.

He’s a Hansen indeed.

“Jesus Christ, you’re coming with me to resolve this shit.”

“OH MY GOD, LLOYD!”

“He’ll be fine,” Lloyd smirks, as Travis chuckles before he walks off. “You know, this could’ve just been you, me, Travis, and Denny.”

“GO!” you scold with a laugh.

You’re quick to flip Lloyd off and laughs before walking out after Travis, and shake your head as a soft smile plays on your lips, and you resume finishing up the lasagna.

“Hummingbird,” Lloyd calls softly as he pokes his head back into the kitchen.

“Yes, Huckleberry?” you answer absentmindedly, as you open the oven.

“I love you.” Your eyes well up as you look up and meet his gaze, heart bursting at the innocent smile on his face, “I love you.”

He gives you a small wink, before going back and dealing with the chaos that is the both of your families.

Once the lasagna is in the oven, you lean back against the counter and think about that night in his frat house. The night where he was convinced that you would leave him, because there was no reason to stay, and a small smile came to your face. No, not because of how much he claimed to have needed you (in a way), but because of how far you two had come. Yeah, it’s been ugly and bumpy at times, but you two made your way back to each other.

A few weeks after you two got back, he tried to convince you that the two of you didn’t need therapy anymore, because the trip had gone so well. However, the look in your eyes let him know that he wasn’t get anywhere near close to winning that argument.

He’s gotten better at spending time with Travis, he does his best to not come home from work in a bad mood because he’s still doing paperwork (however, it’s still being worked on), he’s hands on with Travis and his school work, and he’s even started volunteering to be the coach of Travis’ football team.

You two have finally become the couple you always dreamt you’d be. You two are meant to be...for the most part.

“Someone seems pretty fucking proud of herself,” Denny chuckles as he makes his way into the kitchen, and you roll your eyes. “I just want you to know that I officially think you’re crazier than Lloyd, why the fuck would you have both you families here at the same time?”

“It just felt like it was time,” you mumble, “thanks for the house, by the way.”

“No problem. What did you feel like it was time for?”

“Denny-”

“I’m really proud of you two. Mainly, I’m proud of you for making that stubborn jackass see that it’s okay to have a soft side.”

“He’ll kill you if he ever finds out you said that. You know that right?”

“After all the shit I’ve saved his ass from, he’ll be fine. How are you managing both your families here with no wine or cigarettes?”

“Close your eyes and hold your breath long enough, it all just sounds like background noise.”

“It’s just funny to me, because the last time you did something like this-”

“MOTHER, CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” Lloyd roars, and you can already tell this is about to get ugly.

“Oh, what the fuck is it now?” you whine as you and Denny make your way outside.

The scene in front of you makes your blood boil in almost an instant. The hors d’oeuvres you made are all over the table and the ground, there are broken wine glasses, Travis is sulking at the end of the table, Lloyd is covered in wine, and they’re two broken plates on the ground.

“What the fuck is going on?!” you scream, thankful that Denny is there to hold you back from lunging at...anyone, honestly.

“Y/N, watch your mouth in front of-”

“No!” you instantly snap at your Mother, as Lloyd quickly makes his way to your side, “you all are ruining my family’s home and I want answers! What the hell is the matter with all of you?! And why didn’t you two do anything to stop it?!” you snap at both and Lloyd’s Fathers.

“She started it!” Stef, Lloyd’s Mother yells, causing your Mother to throw a fork at her in response.

“MOM!”

“Travis wanted to come and see me while you two were away, and she wouldn’t allow it!”

“You don’t let him have any fun!”

“There’s no structure in your household! Look at how your son turned out!”

“I’m sorry, doesn’t your daughter live off of my son?!”

“Sure, that’s why your son defended me instead of his own Mother!”

“Oh my GOD! THE BOTH OF YOU NEED TO SHUT UP!” you yell, contemplating throwing something at the both of them. “Travis, are you okay?”

“Just another lovely family gathering,” he mutters with a shrug, and it breaks your heart.

“Listen, I am only going to say this once, so everyone listen closely. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with everyone and, at this point, I frankly don’t give a damn. Lloyd and I have been together long enough that, whatever petty bullshit you all have against each other should be over and dealt with by now!”

“You knew what you were signing up for when we all first met for the first time,” Lloyd’s father, Robert, laughs as he picks up his scotch and takes a sip of it.

You don’t even think about it, you just take off one of your flip-flops and throw it a him, hitting him directly in the head as Lloyd tries to stifle his laughter.

“Now,” you continue as you glare at Robert, “whatever issues Lloyd and I had in the past are our issues. Whatever issues we may or may not have in the future will be ours to deal with. All of this petty arguing ends now! I put a nice fucking dinner together to announce to all of you that I’m two months pregnant, and this is how you all act?!”

“I knew you were pregnant!” Denny exclaims and you glare at him. “What? I did. That’s the only reason you would be around all of these people with a drink or cigarettes,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes.

“Anyway,” you begin again, “YOU’RE ALL FUCKING ADULTS! GROW UP AND ACT LIKE IT!” you snip and you hear a small gasp leave Lloyd lips. “I let you all act like this when Travis was born and raised him around this, but I’m not making that mistake again! Get your shit together or forget about coming to the wedding, and forget about being apart of Travis’ and this unborn child’s life! I’m so sick and tired of having to referee grown ass people! Now, clean all of this shit up!” you snap before getting out of Lloyd’s hold and turning around and making your way back inside. “You come into our house, throw around food I took forever to make, and break our shit?! ACT LIKE YOU’VE GOT SOME DAMN SENSE!” you scream as you make your way upstairs, limping slightly since you’re only wearing one shoe.

No, you probably shouldn’t have yelled at a room of adults, but you’ve had enough. You and Lloyd have been through the lowest levels of hell and back, and are finally in a good place, and for whatever reason they can’t seem to figure their shit out.

You sit down and lay back on the bed, pulling Lloyd’s pillow close and taking in his scent, before letting out a loud sigh.

You can’t say that you’re all that surprised.

“I’m sorry, your Mom said what to Mrs. Hansen?!” Tina exclaimed as she plopped down next to you on your dorm room bed.

“Tina-”

“I’m sorry, but this is the most chaotic meeting of parents I’ve ever heard! What the fuck?!”

“God, it went so bad so fast.”

“Okay wait, start from the beginning.”

“Alright, I told my parents a week ago that Lloyd and I started dating, and my Mom was immediately pissed, because she remembered him and his family from High School, and hated them. So, she was already unwilling to give them a chance, but my Dad talked her into it. Somehow, the fact that Lloyd and his family said that it was their treat made it worse and-”

“Why didn’t you tell him no?! You know how prideful your Mother is!”

“I did, but he insisted! He really wanted to do it, because he really wanted to make a good impression on them, and he was set on it, so I didn’t really have much of a choice. Anyway, after a lot of back and forth, everyone finally agreed to give him a fair chance. So, as per their choice, we all met up at that place Toscano-”

“Harvard Square?! I’ve always wanted to go there!”

“Yeah well, it only seemed to make things worse, because the moment my Mother saw the place she rolled her eyes and scowled.”

“Ah shit.”

“Exactly. Now, in Lloyd’s defense, he really did try to make up for his parents...rudeness,” you muttered as you rolled your eyes. “He just wanted to show my parents that I’m with someone who can take care of me. Anyway, the more Lloyd’s Mother drank, the more disrespectful she became. The more my Mom, the more fed up she got. Then, Lloyd’s Mom said something about how my Mom should’ve gone shopping with her for better shoes to go with her outfit, and it just...it went so bad so fast. Things were said, food was thrown, drinks were tossed, glasses got broken, and eventually the cops showed up.”

“Oh my God,” Tina gasped as she covered her mouth.

“That’s when my Mom called Lloyd’s Mom a low-class vapid baby making machine, who’s gonna end up used up and alone.”

“Holy shit!”

“God, it was so embarrassing. Lloyd paid for all the food, including what didn’t get brought out of the kitchen, and over tipped literally everyone who was working there, while his Father paid for all the damages and told him he’d pay for any upgrades they’d ever wanna make to the place. It’s amazing that we weren’t banned from the place, but I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to go back in there.”

“Jesus. What did Lloyd say?”

“Well, he screamed at both of his parents, I couldn’t even look at mine, and then he just apologized the entire time he drove us back to campus. He’s convinced I’m gonna break up with him, but I don’t know why the hell he’d wanna stay with me.”

“Well, why do you wanna stay with him? If his parents are this terrible, and he’s so terrible-”

“He’s not his parents, Tina. I don’t know, once he puts his ego aside, he’s really not that bad.”

“Babe-”

“Tina, look who you’re talking to. I know how terrible he is. How terrible he can be, but I love him. I know it’s probably not in my best interest, and there’s no way for me to try and explain it, but I’m in love with him and he’s in love with me. Maybe it’ll all fizzle out and maybe it’ll last forever, but for now, we’re determined to be together and make it work.”

“And your families?”

“We’ll figure it out along the way,” you shrugged.

You wipe your eyes at the memory, missing how simple all of it you used to be. Sometimes, you really miss Tina.

“I can hear those wheels turning a mile away,” Lloyd chuckles as he stands in the doorway. “You okay?”

“How’s your Dad?” you ask, closing your eyes and rubbing your temples.

“He’s fine. Shocked, but he’s fine. I think my parents are rightfully afraid of you.”

“It’s about fucking time,” you scoff as Lloyd takes a seat beside you on your side of the bed.

“How are you and our child?” he asks with a smirk.

“Hungry and grumpy,” you pout as you sit up. “I’m sorry, I just wanted us to have something nice. Everything’s been going so well, therapy finally feels like it’s getting us on path to a better future, the wedding is coming along great...I just wanted us to have a nice moment as a family, because it’s been so long since we’ve all been together for a good reason. Even when we had our first big dinner after Travis completed therapy, that was a shit show too. I just...I wanted something nice for a change. I made everyone’s favorite snacks, the lasagna that you and Travis love, I got everyone’s favorite drinks...just for them to shit on it like they always do. I’m sorry. Thanks for defending my Mom by the way.”

“It’s fine, and your Mom was right. My Mother was being a bitch, I’m done letting her disrespect your Mother like that. Besides, it’s honestly been long overdue for you to throw something at my Dad,” he smirks and you let out a small laugh. “I do have a surprise for you, though.”

“You kicked everyone out?”

“I’m afraid it’s not that great but,” he smiles, “I think it’s a pretty great second place. I’m going to train the new hires of the private sector.’ “...what?”

“I won’t be doing paperwork that drives me insane every fucking day, I’ll be home at a time that’ll make you happy daily, no more missions or trips, and I won’t be so damn irritable all the fucking time. Yeah, I’ll be teaching these shitheads torture on actual prisoners, but there will be no blow back. I come in, I train, I come home.”

“Lloyd, please don’t fuck with me,” you beg as your eyes start to water.

“Hummingbird, I told you that I’m gonna make changes, and I meant it. I want to give you and Travis the world, and I know that a huge part of that has to do with this damn job. No, I’m not leaving it all together, but I’m keeping all of us out of harms way.”

“Lloyd...”

“I love you, Y/N, and I’m not losing you again. I’m done being difficult, I’m done causing arguments over things that are obviously my fault, I’ll get better with controlling my temper around Travis-”

“And your language.”

“Hummingbird, it’s one or the other, I’m not perfect,” he tells knowingly and you roll your eyes. “The point is, I was serious about being and doing better for Travis. We’re going to be the family you’ve always wanted and I’m gonna do my best to keep being the man you’ve always been able to rely on. I love you,” he smiles at you.

You practically knock him over with the hug you give him, and he chuckles into the crook of your neck as he hugs you back.

“Relax you, you’re carrying my child,” he teases as you two break apart, and you flip him off before drying your eyes. “Do you know what it’s gonna be?”

“Uh huh,” you smile excitedly as you nod your head.

“Seriously? We’re having a girl?!”

“One of each, just like you’ve always wanted,” you laugh.

This time, he almost knocks you over.

“Please stop,” Travis groans as he makes his way into the bedroom, and both you and Lloyd as you break apart and look at him. “I’m gonna have a little sister?” he asks, small smile tugging at his lips as he gets on the bed from Lloyd’s side.

“That’s right, so get ready to defend her against all these little assholes running around,” Lloyd smirks and Travis laughs.

“Lloyd, at least when I’m around, please,” you whine.

“Are you sure you two are gonna be together forever this time? Cause they’re all downstairs agreeing that this isn’t gonna work, and Uncle Denny is drinking and watching sports highlights,” he sighs while laying his head on your shoulder.

“Of course those assholes want us to fall apart...again,” you scowl.

“Now who needs to watch her mouth,” Lloyd quips with a smug smirk, and you stick your tongue out at him.

“Guys,” Travis groans.

“I’m positive we’re gonna stay together, Trav,” Lloyd smiles at him reassuringly.

“How are you so sure?”

“Because,” he shrugs as his gaze falls on you, “a Huckleberry is nothing without his Hummingbird.

taglist: @maroonsunrise83, @autumnrose40, @fuckingbye, @companionjones, @emerald-evans, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @mazda098, @pono-pura-vida, @nomadstucky

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic #Lloyd Hansen fic #lloyd hansen smut #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x y/n #The Grey Man #the gray man fanfiction #the gray man fanfic #chris evans characters #lloyd hansen x you #Lloyd HansenxReader #Lloyd Hansen fanfic #Lloyd Hansen fanfiction

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stargirlfics · 2 years

Text

Pretty When You Cry

Lloyd Hansen x Black Reader

Summary: He’s sick, he’s mean, he’s cruel and he’s all yours too

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, daddy kink, degradation and mocking, lloyd is a bit mean in this, smut: doggystyle, rough sex, fishhooking, dacryphilia, dirty talk, use of “daddy”, brief creampie mention, general filthiness

Word Count: 1.7k

Note: Dedicated to @hansensgirl!!! A bit of a belated birthday gift for you Sab angel! Your works and love for Lloyd helped inspire me to write this so thank you! Lub you! 🖤

Lloyd Hansen had you wrapped around his pinkie a little more than you wanted to admit but god did you love it.

He was a bad man, as sick and twisted as they come and none of his mean nature was tempered for you, especially not when he knew just how wet you got for his harsh hands and even harsher tongue.

Your body yielded to him so much faster now than it did at the start when you held more annoyance and contempt towards him than the molten desire causing the slick between your thighs now. The best part was that you were his, his pretty little star.

It’s precisely what he loved about you, that despite the bambi eyes and tear stained cheeks, you wanted him, craved him, by all accounts needed him.

That’s how your current circumstances came to be; your face flush against the silky gray sheets, your ass high in the air, and Lloyd thrusting into you from behind. There was no mistaking your high whines and moans, how they all sounded like incoherent babbles but Lloyd knew you best, good enough to make out the pleas for more, for “harder” and “please” and his personal favorite…”daddy” amongst the tangle of sounds.

“Ah, but I’m already in your tummy, sunshine. I don’t know if you can take my hardest, I don’t think you’re up to it.”

It was precisely his mocking that got you here in the first place.

Earlier, the pout on your face when Lloyd had teased you about being “such a goddamn slut” for when he was being mean, effectively calling you out and making your cheeks burn. You refused to admit he was right, denying his accusation up and down.

Oh, how you should have known it would only fuel his antics. The devilish smirk that graced his features as he chuckled and steadily backed you into a corner made the heat swirl in your core, protests to his continued teasing harder to come up with.

“Don’t lie to me, sweetheart, I don’t like little girls who lie.”

You tried so very hard to stop the needy whimper from tumbling past your lips but he heard it, Lloyd never missed a thing and you realized you had nowhere to run, your back pressed uncomfortably against the wall and his broad shoulders the only thing you could see in front of you.

It made you feel so helpless, heat prickling your thighs at the anticipation of it all. How easy it was for him to bring it out in you, the itch that made you so desperate for him and whatever he was gracious enough to give you.

In the end, you always let him pull you under, always surrendering to the fact that yes, your man, sick and cruel and mean, knew best.

“N-no, please, daddy. I can take it, I can! Please give me more,” you whined, turning your head a little more to look back at him.

It was a sight that made you flutter around him, Lloyd and his toned arms on display. His forearms tense with the way he held onto your hips firm enough to hurt just the way you liked.

But just to toy with you, he slowed his pace down, still pushing in deep to nudge against the deepest parts of you only agonizingly slow, pinching your skin when you start to push back against him.

“Those are big words for you, cupcake. Does your stupid little slut brain really understand what you’re asking for?” his grip loosened from your hip to slide up your back, finding its place at the back of your neck where he tugged you up onto your hands.

You whined at his words, your center pulsing at the way he dumbed you down, how easy it was for him and then you, left scrambling to answer, trying to think while every thick inch of him was buried inside you.

All you managed to get out were breathy pleases, your brain cloudy with utter need, all your energy spent trying to keep from fucking yourself back on his length.

Lloyd’s dark, amused chuckle made your spine tingle, “Oh, I love it when you get this desperate to be fucked, it’s so cute seeing you forget that your pussy just can’t handle that. But if that’s what you want so bad…”

There were all but a few seconds to register his words before he was pulling back and pushing back in roughly, your back arching with the force, hands fisting the sheets below you.

He felt incredible, every thrust sent searing heat throughout your body, your limbs turning boneless by the second as he handled you how he wanted, pounding into your pussy at that angle that made you breathless and pliant to his whim.

“Oh my god, thank you, daddy, thank you,” your moans collided with the harsh slap of his hips meeting your ass.

“And she still knows her manners, I trained you well, huh? Good girl.” Lloyd’s voice startled you now that it was at the shell of your ear, his pace unwavering even as he was leaning over you now.

The reward for your good manners had you reeling, two of his skilled fingers hooked against the inside of your cheek, pulling your head to the side so you could watch how he was taking you apart, your position from head to toe, exactly where he wanted it to be.

It was exactly what you had wanted, filled up, fucked rough, made to cum as many times as Lloyd wanted or allowed, a complete mess by the end of it all.

Your moans only seemed to climb higher, tears starting to well under your fluttering lashes at the flood of pleasure, almost too much, almost bordering on the edge of pain. The fact that your arms had finally given out underneath you wasn’t the least bit an issue for Lloyd, his free hand returning to grip the back of your neck, keeping you upright, using the hold as leverage to rut into you just a little harder.

“Mm, that’s it, there she is,” he grunted lowly when he felt your body sink into his grip, impressed with how well you were doing so far but not mistaking the signs of your exhaustion and impending climax.

He knew your body like the back of his hand, always paying special attention to all those little details, the shifts in your breathing, the pitch to your moans that always told him when you were getting close, the tension in your limbs, and most importantly, the look in your eyes the longer he pounded into your soaked hole.

How doe-like they were, especially when the tears started, exactly as they were now.

“Fuck! It’s t-too much, daddy, oh god,” you brokenly sob out against his fingers still in your mouth, the words thick, slow as they make their way out.

Lloyd tsks at you, forcing your body back, bottoming out deep with every thrust.

“Aww poor thing. But that’s what you wanted isn’t it, sunshine, wanted daddy to fuck your guts out, right? Are you asking me to stop?” his tone was as condescendingly sweet as it gets, his words making your vision a touch bleary with unshed tears.

If he stopped right now it would shatter you, that much you were sure of. There was nothing more you wanted than for him to keep going because that perfect release was almost within reach.

“No, no please don’t stop! Just feels so good, I-” whatever words you were going to say died in your throat once Lloyd propped a foot up on the bed, the new angle allowing him more leverage, and your back deepened to an even meaner arch.

Obscene moans and whines turned into near screams as he fucked you good, his thrusts controlled and steady, keeping himself deep with every drag against your walls, cursing under his breath at how you clenched around him, how drippy and soft your walls felt, and the sight of you too, your puffy lips swallowing his length again and again. It made him throb.

The white hot edges of your orgasm began to creep up your spine, the tears welled in your eyes now fallen past your lashes, streaked across your cheeks that were smeared with your spit as Lloyd took his fingers from your mouth to snake around your front, finding your sensitive clit with ease.

“Fuckin look at you, such a mess, so goddamn pretty crying on my dick. That’s my girl.”

You couldn’t turn your eyes away from him as hard as maintaining eye contact was, you knew how much he liked seeing you this wrecked for him and the intensity of his gaze, of his body language was what kept you focused, a lifeline as you began to fall apart around him.

“Daddy!” you sobbed, and more tears cascade down your cheeks, dripping onto the sheets below you.

Sharp gasps filled in the gaps of your loud cries as you felt his heavy balls slap against your core, his fingers still rubbing your clit, the combination making you shudder and squirm.

“I know, sweetheart. I can feel you coming, yeah that’s it, cry harder,” Lloyd encouraged you, cooing in your ear, that mean edge still in his voice, the very thing that made you obey, more sobs leeched from you as you creamed on his length.

You were shaky and fucked out of your mind by the time your orgasm subsided but that didn’t mean any of this was over, no by all means it had just begun, his pace slowing for a moment as he decided what position to place you in next.

It was both a blessing and a curse to be with a man who had such stamina and control, that was meticulous and insane enough to spend hours teasing you, fucking you senseless, pumped full of his cum and your limbs sore and screaming by the time he decided you had enough.

Who could blame him though? You were just so utterly gorgeous when he made a mess of you and it only made him hard to see you crying those pretty little tears.

You craved him, wanted him to surround you, crawl into your skin and never leave, fill you full of pleasure every hour of the day, even when he was being the cruel man he was through and through.

Lloyd Hansen was a bad man, the kind of bad that made for a deliciously sadistic lover, all yours to have, and as long as that was so, you’d shed all your tears for him.

_______________________________________________

A/N: I want him to do so many terrible things to me it’s not even funny, like if he’s so bad why is he so hot?! I hope this was a good read and hope that the way I wrote him feels and sounds like him!

Thanks for reading and please reblog and comment, I wanna hear what you thought!

Some tags: @jannqt @ozarkthedog @maroonsunrise83 @onsunnyside @sweetlilbambi @afriendlyblackhottie @honeystevie @comfortcap @geniedetails @superhoeva @evanstache @falconssweetgirl @squidlywiddly87

#amalia writes #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen smut #lloyd hansen x black reader #lloyd hansen x black!reader #lloyd hansen x woc #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen imagine #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen fic #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen fics #l

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virgo-sun · 1 year

Text

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞.

Summary: You’ve been at Lloyd’s side for a few months now, and you’ve learned a lot— including how to distract him when a job goes wrong. Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Fem!Reader Warnings: Absolute filthy smut, p in v, age gap (mid 20′s to Lloyd’s 41), slight sub/con dynamic, mentions of violence.

this is literally my first blurb/fic/thing in actual years so it’s not my best as i try and find back my footing, but i’ve decided to come back to tumblr and quench my thirst for this man lmao. let me know what you think of this & i’ll consider opening request soon. <3

Things didn’t always go the way he planned, and those days were... well, they were something.

You didn’t really get the heat, though. The rest of the team behind computers with a bunch of text you barely understood were the ones who suffered through the wrathful peptalk, the rage induced ranting and raving from Lloyd echoing through the walls of the so-last-century luxury building.

As you keep staring at the clock in the overhead of your shared bed, you let out a sigh of frustration. It has been close to twenty minutes and you can still hear Lloyd’s voice from the hall, even if the door is closed. This man could not keep his mouth shut in the face of loss, could he?

You weren’t going to lie; there was a certain knot in your stomach as you thought of his presence back in your room. Would he be too worked up and angry to have a conversation with you? Would he be too overcome by anger still that you had to watch your each tiny movement, your tone, the way you sighed or attempted to speak... so, every little thing? You kept chewing on the inside of your cheek as he finally waltzed into the room, and you gripped on the cushion of your velvet sofa.

“These idiot morons... can’t even get a perimeter set the right fuckin’ way,” you heard him growl as he shut the door closed, and something about his choice of expletives and his gait properly aroused you, which only made you roll your eyes as if trying to ignore the situation. He kept doing this more and more, he kept doing things that drove you wild... but all very subtle.

He sighed in the bold defeat that showered his every inch right after throwing his black turtleneck somewhere and plopping onto the bed as he barely looked at you from across the room. “Can you fuckin’ believe it? They let that son of a bitch go and pardoned him like a Thanksgiving turkey... or more like the pig he is,” he exuded frustration, the veins on his forehead protruding audaciously, his Adam’s apple outlined almost to perfection— sculpted by gods, no less.

You began to notice how your lower half began to sweat, and how you bit your bottom lip until each nerve under your skin sent signals to your brain.

“Easy tiger,” you almost wished you hadn’t spoken like that to him, the second his pair of sky blues landed on you with something that can only be described as lust, and fortunately, you liked it.

It was interesting the way the both of you communicated without saying much. He respected you and the ways you’d also earned a pretty good name in the good old CIA, and you respected him just as much. The two of you went back; everybody and their mamas knew this but nobody dared say a word, and certainly nobody dared question the unique desires of one Lloyd Hansen. When he said he wanted you for himself, the respective parties obeyed, including yourself. As to how this happened... well, perhaps that’s a story for some other time.

“Thank fuck you’re here,” Lloyd spoke with decision, giving you those bedroom eyes, one of his hands signaling you to come over to the bed. “Distract me, will ‘ya, sugar? Make me think happy thoughts...” and his voice sounded like candy... or more like dripping honey. Dripping as you were, that’s for sure!

“Shh... you’ll get him next time, Daddy,” something shifted within you in the matter of seconds, and the both of you loved it thoroughly. You went on with praise, “you’ll give him what he deserves, no one is as good as you,” the tone of your voice lowered somewhat, each step you took towards the bed threatening the wetness between your legs to leak.

“Damn right I will, sweetheart,” you were getting closer and closer to his frame, and he was able to take a better look at you through the silk babydoll he’d proudly bought for you. The off-white and beige shades of the fabric draped across your body like warm honey, and his possessive hands found their way towards what was his, and you allowed the contact, no questions asked.

You crawled towards your Lloyd, unable to hold it anymore and straddling his hips while you searched for anything that would ease down the pressure in your cunt. He wasn’t hard yet, but you knew it would only take seconds before that would change, and he began to handle you as he wished. Prominent hands squeezed your abdomen, your ass, your thighs... everything was his for the taking and you made sure he knew this by humoring him with your delicate sounds.

Moan after moan, you hopelessly surrendered to him. He found the perfect space between your legs to rub with his decisive pair of fingers, and you couldn’t help but to buck your hips forward. “D-Daddy...” it came out instinctively, like an animal in heat.

You chuckled quietly, and he shared the sentiment by rubbing harder on your pulsating clit. Circles, little nubs, a cheeky push against the smooth piece of lingerie... all of this in the matter of seconds before he undid his fly in a swift move, unbuttoning his amazingly fitted khakis.

You knew what to do, this same choreography you two have danced many times before; but each time felt like the first. Bliss drained your blood and your lungs as you took a deep breath and prepared for the incredible sensation of his length. “Mmmhm...” you seemed to meow or purr like a cat, Lloyd’s flaming hot breath touching your throat.

You were positively dripping wet, unable to speak and listen to him instead.

“Fuck Daddy like the good little doll you are... Daddy needs it real fuckin’ bad,” his voice as hoarse as sandpaper as his tip brushed in agony against your folds, “That’s why you’re here, ‘innit? Huh? To make Daddy feel better?” and you simply nodded, and you got to work.

You rode him like your first rodeo, your little matching panties pushed ever so gently to a side as you held tightly around his neck. He moaned, moaned, and moaned, “S-shit, baby.... more,” you heard him loud and clear, and you did nothing but obey. Your hips moved harder and he turned to more of his addicting praise. “Take that cock, t-take it so damn good,” he ran his inviting fingers through your hair, pulling hard... so hard that you squealed.

This was Lloyd on his element, at least your favorite kind— and you knew it was only a matter of time before... before....

“Ah, f-fuck... Fucking hell, baby, yes,” he was desperate, he held onto your peachy behindfor dear life as if this was the last thing he’d do. You moaned together in unison, tightness on your now full belly and peppering the air with heavy breaths. “Come for me, c’mon, come...” he thrusted repeatedly into you as he filled you up nice and sweet, rubbing your now red pussy in tandem as you eventually rode your own orgasm with nothing short of satisfaction...

Nothing much was said right after, you only heard Lloyd’s whispers of sweet nothings into your ear, heavy liplocks, the ocassional squeeze on your ass... all of this while sweat glistened on your skin. You could catch a tiny sight of various scars here and there, old injuries on his chest— and all of this was your Lloyd.

And you were pretty damn good at distracting your Lloyd.

#chris evans #lloyd hansen #chris evans x reader #chris evans fic #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x y/n #chris evans fanfic #lloyd hansen fanfic #chris evans imagine #lloyd hansen imagine #WORKS.

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lokiandbuckysdoll · 9 months

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Lloyd Drabble

You didn’t even hear Lloyd come home until you felt him wrap his arms around your waist. You were a little startled until he gave you a tender kiss on the top of your head and held you close to him while inhaling your wonderful aroma. As you turn to face him while still in his grasp, your palm gently touches his cheek and you make eye contact with him. "What's wrong, my love?"

Lloyd sighs, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. “Nothing, Sunshine. I just missed you.” His tenderness makes you melt from the inside out, pulling your body closer to him. As you kiss him and smile while enjoying the tickle of his mustache. He breaks from the kiss and looks around, noting how quiet the house is in comparison to typical loudness.

He was about to question you to inquire as to where your daughter was, but you beat him to it. You look at the time, "Lilly is out with the babysitter until Four, which means we'll have the house to ourselves for two hours" You raised an eyebrow and offered him a suggested smirk.

“Oh, is that true? Does my little wifey want some attention?" he asked with a smirk. Someone interrupted you just as you were ready to respond. Lloyd briefly grins at you before lowering his sight to your protruding belly.

“I'm sorry, is my little bean feeling left out?" He rests his ear on your abdomen and feels the baby kick. You both simultaneously exclaimed "Ow!" Lloyd points a finger at your belly “Little bean, please stop kicking your mother so forcefully” He massaged your belly and then kissed it before speaking, "Daddy loves you and can't wait to meet you soon, but right now I need to take care of Mommy," he stood up.

“Now Mrs. Hansen, we have two hours alone. So would you like to be treated like my slutty pregnant housewife?" he pulls you close and you can feel the wetness pool in your panties. " I'd thought you'd never asked Mr. Hansen" You pulled him down for a passionate yet hungry kiss. That night you needed the sitter to keep Lilly out a little longer.

TAGS🏷️ @imyourbratzdoll @hannibals-favourite-meal @silverfire475 @vbecker10 @hallecarey1 @lyds247 @shadeysprings @nana1000night

#llyod hansen #lloyd hansen fic #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen drabble #lloyd hansen x female reader

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writersblog20 · 2 years

Text

Personal Sunshine☀️

Lloyd Hansen x reader

Summary: When Lloyd finds you broken and bruised, he fell in love, taking you with him and helping you get better. But when your father, who did all of this to you, found you, all hell broke loose but Lloyd never breaks his promise and you’re his girl. And nobody touches what is his.

Warnings: mention of SA and domestic violence, ddlg dynamic, guns, violence, murder, death (not the reader), stabbing and slashing, injuries to the reader, probably a lot more but these are the main things. Oh and soft Lloyd cause that’s all I need

Words: 4,3K

A/N: This is mostly a comfort fic for me and the mention of SA and the violence resemble my childhood and is based off of my experience so please respect that and keep mean things to yourself. I share this for people who might find comfort in my fic. Besides this is the first time I sort off write about the ddlg dynamic but my heart seriously aches for this right now. Please be respectful and if this isn’t your cup of tea, then please don’t read it.

Personal Sunshine

“I found you and what you find, you get to keep, sunshine.” Were his weird but comforting words when you were recovering from your injuries. It was intimidating but comforting when the assassin softly rubbed your cheek, his eyes holding nothing but warmth behind them. Something you’ve looked for ages. The feeling of finally being wanted and appreciated filling your heart in love.

Lloyd Hansen was a sociopath, assassin and scared of nobody. Nothing could hurt him, well that was until you came along and you quickly became his only reason to get scared. It surprised him to say the least. He thought that he was unable to love and care for somebody but as soon as your innocent eyes met his, glared with fright and in search for help, it pulled his heartstrings and he became obsessed with you.

~throwback~

You’re father was a mean man to say the least. He had hurt you and your mother in so many ways when you were younger. It started when you were around 4 years old. When your mother would be gone for work he took advantages of you for his sick, sick fantasy. That mostly with the violence he took out on you and your mother, almost killing her in the process. That was the moment your mom left and took you with her. The police was searching for him, not only because he robbed a casino but also because he was one of the biggest drug dealers in the area and a feared person.

When you were around 16 years old, you reconnected with him and confronted him with all the stuff he did in the past, leaving you behind with ptsd and more stuff. That was a gruesome mistake from your side because when he saw you riding your bike one day, he tried to ride you over with his car. You made it just by a string and fell on the hard pavement where you jumped out of the way. It was so close and he would’ve hit you, killing you in the proces. You went to the cops and they searched for him again but he was very good at hiding from the police and staying underneath the radar. He swore to kill you and you’ve been on the run ever since.

He had hired people to look for you and spy on you. that’s why you left your mother so she wouldn’t be in danger. Anyway, he always seemed to find you and tried to kidnap you multiple times but you’ve been training very hard and could fight off his people who tried to take you every time.

Unfortunately last time you weren’t so lucky and be got his hands on you. You had been taken to an abandoned chamber. He tortured you and you were on the edge of death until somebody whispered something in your fathers ear. He was quick on his feet, took a last look at you, smirked and waved. “I’ll be right back, don’t you worry.” He told you and left you on the cold ground in your own pool of blood.

Your father had beef with the notorious Lloyd Hansen, who came looking for him. You heard gunshots, screaming and people running. You gathered all your energy to stay awake. The door went open when the tears fell over your blooded face. You locked eyes with the blue eyed man. You didn’t have enough strength to do or say anything. He looked at you a little surprised, he raised his eyebrow and rolled his eyes but his eyes held some sort of softness in them. He turned away from you and walked out of the door, ready to walk out completely away from you until you spoke up. “He’s my father…. Please kill him.” Lloyd stopped walking and stood still with his back turned towards you.

He placed his hands on his hips, let his head hang down and let out a loud sigh before turning around, taking another look at you, this time sympathy written all over his face. “He did this to you?” he asked anger laced his voice and you whimpered softly when you tried to nod. He looked down at his shoes and nodded. “Okay, let’s get you out of here sunshine.” He told you and put his gun in the back of his pants in his waistband.

He sat down and picked you up while you whined and whimpered from the pain. Your face was resting against his chest and for the first time in your life, you felt completely safe in the arms of a stranger. He looked down since you were staring in awe at the man. His face softened the same way people would look at a puppy. “You’re going to be okay cupcake. I got you now.” he told you and walked with you through the abandoned building. His people looked at him in confusion.

He looked up at them, anger written on his face. “Did I told somebody to stop looking?! Get to fucking work, how hard can it fucking be!” he screamed out, scaring you a little in the process but instead of leaning away from him, you hid more against his chest and your fingers digging into his polo, knowing it wasn’t meant towards you. It got his attention and he walked out of the building with you in his arms. “Sshh… it’s okay cupcake, I wasn’t screaming at you. I would never scream at you. I screamed at these morons inside.” He told you softly. You snuggled a little more into his polo. “I’m tired.” You whimpered out in pain and exhaustion. “I know sunshine but you need to hang on a little longer for me. Can you do that sweetheart?” His face so soft that even through the pain you felt your heart flutter at the love and kindness of the stranger holding you. “ I’ll try.” You told him softly.

Even his people outside looked surprised at him. No one, but I mean no one had ever seen Lloyd Hansen like this. It was like you stole his heart right away and turned him in the most softest teddy bear up to date. He looked at his men. “What the hell are you all looking at? Get out of my fucking way or help me get this girl some help.” He raised his voice again. “Fucking idiots.” He whispered while he carried you to his big jeep.

He laid you down in the back and got in the other side, your head on his lap while he softly went with his fingers over your hair, trying to comfort you. The man driving you back to his villa looked through the rear view mirror. Lloyd looked up, with a stone cold face. “What?!” the man got scared and focused on the road. Lloyd looked at him a couple of second before turning back at you. Your vision became blurry and your eyelids very heavy. You quickly took his hand in your small blooded and bruised one, squeezing it slightly from fear. His face softened even more and worry taking over his features. His heart ached for you and it confused him. He wasn’t supposed to be like this but he was unable to act different towards you. You didn’t know when it happened but you fell away.

You woke up in a big king-size bed and looked around the big room but your vision was still a little blurry. You felt someone take your hand and was quick to look towards the direction of the person. It was Lloyd and fear immediately left your body. You couldn’t tell why but you felt like you were on the safest place on earth when he was near. “Good morning sunflower. How are you feeling?” he asked you while his posture was more turned towards you while he still held your hand.

~current day~

That was where it all started. You helped Lloyd with some things and definitely in the search of your father. Lloyd found out that you were very useful but that wasn’t why he kept you. He kept you because you had his heart on a silver plate and was damned if he would let you go. You were the one and only thing that would hurt him the most. He had to keep you close because you would be the only thing they could have against him. You fell in love with Lloyd and the other way around. He was your protector and safety net.

Lloyd cared for you and helped you with your inner child, trying to heal you and even though you tried to resist in the beginning, you couldn’t help the aching feeling of being loved, cared, appreciated, secure and safety feeling gnarling inside of you. You laid on the big couch, a blanket around you and your big plushy in your arms mindlessly watching tv.

Lloyd softly walked in the room and smiled the moment he saw you. You were his soft spot. The one and only thing he could be soft with and love in his world full of dead, control and hate. You were quite literally his sunshine.

“Hey sunshine. What are we watching?” he asked you, sitting next to you. You were quick to rest completely against him. His warm deep chuckle rumbling through his chest while he kissed the top of your head and wrapped his arms around you. “Mhm… Monster Inc.” you told him and he chuckled again. “Give daddy a kiss baby girl.” He noticed you felt completely relaxed and at ease and knew he could do this. Not only for himself but also for you, in a way to heal. You looked up with a soft smile and placed a soft kiss on his lips. His mustache tickling your nose a little making you giggle.

“Are you done working?” you asked softly and he hummed. “So you’re all mine now?” you asked hopeful and he looked down with a loving smile “All yours baby.” You smiled and tucked yourself more against his side. “I love you so much sunshine.” You smiled and felt your heart fill up. “I love you too daddy.” Lloyd kissed the side of your head and let it rest there with a smile permanently resting on his face. Lloyd tucked the blanket tighter around you and wrapped his arms tightly around you. Your legs were a little tucked towards your body and let them rest on Lloyd’s lap. If you could you would crawl into him and he noticed how clingy you were today, filling his own heart up with love that it almost ached.

You couldn’t fight your heavy eyelids and almost fell asleep while Lloyd played with your hair until the door flung open, scaring you in the process. The anger that radiated from Lloyd’s eyes was scary while he looked at the man who dared to disturb the two of you. “Boss…. There’s a problem.” Lloyd looked angry at the man. “Then fix it!” he raised his voice, making you a little scared but you crawled more against him for protection. “But I think you need to see this. It’s her father…” he told Lloyd and you were on high alert right away. Every muscle in your body tensed up, tears already gathering while you felt extremely scared. Lloyd looked immediately at you, clearly feeling the tension in you.

“I’ll be there.” Lloyd told the man but kept looking worried at you. Your eyes were big and the tears were already falling. “Baby, stay here. I’ll take care of this. Don’t worry, he won’t ever get to you again okay sweetheart? I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again, sunshine. Daddy’s going to take care of this okay?” he told you softly as he cupped your cheek gently. “Please don’t leave me. I’m scared, please don’t leave me alone.” Lloyd sighed softly, knowing he had to leave you for a minute to take care of this. “I’ll come back sweetheart, I’ll always come back don’t I? I’ll make sure that there are some men here protecting you as well. Besides he has to go through me first to get to you and you know what happens to people who even try to do that, right? I’ve told you what happens. You have nothing to be scared off. I’ll be right back sunshine.” He told you caringly.

You hesitantly let go of Lloyd. “I’m going to end this. No more scary dreams, no more fears. I’m going to end it right now and be back before you know it baby girl. Give me a kiss sweetheart.” He told you and you were quick on your feet to give him a kiss. This time you cupped his cheek and pulled him more into the kiss. “You come back. You come back whole to me!” you told him strict and pulled completely out of your relaxed state. “I promise you sunshine. Remember what I told you? Put your headphones on and I’ll be right back and we finish that movie okay princess?” He smiled at you when you nodded. He kissed the back of your hand and walked away, giving one last look behind him towards you.

Before he closed the door, you heard him talk to some people and two men came in, nodding towards you and staring in front of them, holding on tightly to their big guns. You took the blanket and wrapped it more around you for cover. Your heart felt tight as if it was being crushed. Not only were you scared for yourself but you hated when Lloyd was in the line of fire. He had to come back to you. Alive and well. But the thought that he could get hurt made you physical sick.

You grabbed your plushy and held it close. You heard gunshots through the villa and if you weren’t on high alert, you would be now. It was silent for couple of minutes and you didn’t knew what you hated more. The unbearable sound of gunshots or the complete and utter silence that you didn’t trust. You clung more onto your plushy. The men held tightly onto their guns and pointed it towards the door in concentration.

You put your headphones in and put the music on loud. Lloyd had put a playlist together for you when stuff like this would happen so you wouldn’t hear the screams and other stuff. The tears just kept falling over your cheeks while your mind went a thousand miles per hours. All of a sudden the door slammed open against one of the guards and knocked him out. 4 people with masks came in, gun pointed towards you and shot the other guard. They ran towards you and all picked you up. You screamed the lungs out of your body for Lloyd and kicked them, fighting for your life.

You got them good and they let you fall on the ground. You quickly got up and ran out of the room. Your fight instinct kicked in and you were glad you were a good fighter. You had no clue how but you knocked them all out. You struggled with running, falling slightly on your search for Lloyd. Other men found you and ran after you, trying to shoot you on their way until you heard a loud voice “You fucking idiots! I need her alive and I need her now! Shoot everyone in the way but NOT her! ” cold chills went up your spine, knowing it was your father.

You ran out of the villa with some guards who let you to the maze. They let Lloyd know where you went to through their mic. One guard besides you got shot and fell on the ground. You picked up your pace like you’ve never done before and sprinted through the maze, not knowing where you were going. You reached multiple dead ends with guards scattered around you. You ran back and ran into a hard chest, making you fall over.

The person wore a mask as well and got you by your shirt dragging you towards the middle of the maze by the fountain. You screamed, kicked and tried to get loose but to no avail. “Lloyd!” you screamed but he wasn’t there.

The man threw you forwards and you looked at some shoes before looking scared up. You saw your father with a grin looking at you. “There you are, you little mouse.” You were quick on your feet but got a good hit to your face, making you fall over again. “You know, I’m debating to just kill you here where Lloyd can find you or take you, torture you like the last time and then kill you in the most slow and painful death ever.”

You got a knife from Lloyd. It was a pretty knife as well, pink with your name carved in and gold. When you ran your way through the villa, you took it and hit it in the back of your sock. You got it out and stood up again in a fighting position. There was no way you would go without putting up a fight. Your father rolled his eyes.

“Are we really going over this again?” he asked you and took a fighting position as well and got a knife. You waited a little before he went in and that was where he made his mistake. You stabbed him a couple of times but when you heard Lloyd scream for you, you got distracted and got slashed and stabbed as fast as your father could. You fell to the ground and screamed for Lloyd.

Your father sat above you, the knife pointing towards your face while you tried to hold him back with both of your hands. Lloyd was fighting with the man who dragged you here and you kicked your father in his crotch and pushed him over you. You stood up, and grabbed your knife tightly, seeing red at this point. You saw how beaten up Lloyd was and your blood was absolutely boiling.

Lloyd got kicked back and the man tried to hit him more until you flung towards the man, slashing his throat in anger. Lloyd looked at you in surprise when you let the man fall out of your arms. Lloyd had never seen this anger that you radiated right now and he was absolutely mesmerized by you. It was like he fell even harder in love then he thought was possible.

You screamed out in anger and slashed your father multiple times, overmastering him. This time you were above him and kept hitting him in his face, bruising your hands and got covered in his blood. Other guards of your father came running in and dragged you off of him. You fought them too along side Lloyd until your father came up to Lloyd and tried to fight him.

Just like Lloyd, the anger you saw in his eyes was something you’ve never seen before. You got multiple hits but got every guard knocked out before falling on the ground, exhausted and losing a lot of blood. Your father and Lloyd were fighting in the water of the fountain. You threw your knife towards Lloyd and he swung it into your fathers chest before pulling it out and stabbing him over and over again until he fell down. You gathered all the last energy you had and stood up. Lloyd looked surprised at you but worry all over his face and stopped what he was doing. You limbed towards Lloyd and your father.

Your hands putting pressure on the worst wound. “I want to finish it. This is my fight.” You told Lloyd cold. Not directly to Lloyd but your father. Lloyd gave you the knife and you wiped the blood off of the knife. Your father grinned at you, holding his wounds as well. “You’ll never get rid of me. You’re my blood and I will always haunt you.” he chuckled. “No this is the end and you’ll be forgotten.” You told him coldly and stabbed him hard and good and looked at him, waiting for him to die. When you saw him leaving you broke down.

You turned around and Lloyd pulled you carefully into a hug. You hid your face into his chest while he softly massaged your head for comfort. “He’s gone now sunshine. It’s over and you did it yourself. I’m so proud of you princess.” You couldn’t hold back the tears and held onto Lloyd for dear life.

You both stumbled back and new guards of Lloyd came running in. They were called up but had to get there first and now they finally were. They helped you and Lloyd inside, quickly bandaged you up, controlling the bleeding so they could flew you to a different villa in the middle of nowhere in a warm tropical country where you both got better patched up and could recover.

You laid down in the bed. Lloyd was quick on his feet but you had the endure the most injuries. Your room didn’t have a wall to the outside but a big window so you could look out over the ocean. Lloyd knew how much you loved the ocean and probably brought you here because of that.

The door softly went open and Lloyd walked in with a bouquet of sunflowers. “Hey sunshine.” He told you softly. This was the first time you were actually awake after what had happened. “Hey” you croaked out, your throat dry. He had a water bottle with him and walked up to you, kissing your forehead before sitting on the edge of the bed, putting a straw in the water bottle and brought it to your lips so you could drink it.

He placed the sunflowers on the nightstand besides you and looked lovingly at you. You went with your finger softly over his injuries on his face. “I told you that I wanted you back without a scratch.” You told him with a soft smile. “I’ll take a lot more for you than a couple of bruises and cuts sunshine.” He told you and carefully rubbed your cheek, trying not to hurt you. “I’m so proud of you baby. It’s over now. You don’t have to be scared anymore. You finished him. It’s done.” He reminded you and calmness took over you.

You looked up and saw your plushy in his hand. You smiled more and Lloyd gave it to you. “Can you please stay with me? Cuddle me?” he smiled, knowing you started to feel small and safe again. “Of course I will baby.” he told you and walked to the other side of the bed, kicking his shoes off, pants and polo before crawling in. You immediately laid on his chest, your plushy tightly in your arms. Lloyd softly went with his fingertips over your back. “I found you pretty hot when you fought him in the water….” You confessed to Lloyd. He looked at you surprised and smirked. “Yeah? Well…. I found you pretty darn sexy when you took everyone out. My pretty baby, taking out all the guards. You are a goddess in my eyes.” he whispered the last part softly and you smiled shyly, giggling a little.

“Thank you for taking me here.” You told him, hinting towards the ocean and he smiled at you. “When you’re better, we’re going for a swim together. We’ll stay here as long as you want to.” He told you, his hand now on your head, his thumb softly rubbing your forehead. “I was scared I was going to lose you.” you told him and he frowned feeling hurt, thinking back about the situation. He looked at you and saw that you were crying. “It takes a whole lot more to get me away from you. But I was scared too. Scared I was loosing the only thing I care and love, you.” he told you and pressed a kiss on your forehead. You sniffled. “Hey, look who I found princess.” He told you, trying to get your mind off of it.

Lloyd smiled at his achievement of making you smile and feel shy again. He always found you so incredibly adorable. He chuckled when you rubbed your face against his chest from the shyness and he kissed the top of your head before putting his finger underneath your chin for a proper kiss.

“Why don’t we finish that movie? I promised after all right?” he told you while looking intently in your eyes and his finger underneath your chin. You nodded softly with a soft smile and he smiled back, placing another kiss on your lips before getting the remote and putting the movie on from the start.

You cuddled more against Lloyd while he held you tightly and pushed the blankets more around you, tucking you in. You enjoyed the feeling of utter safety and love, making you sigh in complete relaxation with your plushy tucked in the crook of your arm and underneath your chin while Lloyd played with your hair again. You concentrated on that feeling and it was the best feeling in the world, something only Lloyd could give you and he was the only thing you needed.

Taglist: @patzammit @rogersdrysdalebarber @justile @babyevansblog @hazelqueenland @littlebluecupcake @seitmai @mavrellover91 @phildunphyisadilf

#Chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x little!reader #chris evans is daddy #chris evans daddy #lloyd hansen x reader

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imyourbratzdoll · 9 months

Note

What about stepdaughter reader who isnt innocent and likes getting fucked by step daddy lloyd even both doing it in hopes to get caught so she has lloyd to herself

hey honey! I'm sorry for taking so long, but I hope you like it! I added a little twist at the end.

summary - you have been sleeping with your stepfather, and someone happens to catch you.

warning - smut, voyeurism, creampie, cheating, masturbating, semi-public sex, squirting.

18+ only please, the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips

“Fuck, you’re such a fucking slut.” Lloyd growls, slamming into you from behind. His hands grip your hips tightly, grunting at how tight you feel wrapped around his cock. “Not so fucking innocent, huh? You just love being fucked by your stepdad.” You grip the edge of the pool, water splashing with every thrust. Lloyd’s hand wraps around your throat, bending you backwards until your back arches. “You just had to tease me in the pool, didn’t you? You don’t even care that your mother is in the kitchen.”

Your cunt clenches at his words, and the thought of finally getting caught turns you on to no end. You had been sneaking around with your stepfather for a while now and wanted your mum out of the picture. “Daddy! It feels so good! I’m your slut!” You rest your head on his shoulder as he pounds into you, splitting you from the inside and causing your walls to spasm. You push back into him, grinding your arse against his thrusts. “You fuck me so good, Daddy. Better than anyone else.” You moan a little too loudly, but you don’t care. Too lost in pleasure to notice your neighbour Mr Levinson watching from his backyard, gripping his hardened member and slowly stroking it up and down to your moans and the sight of you getting fucked by your stepdad.

Lloyd grunts, picking up his pace. “I better be the only one your fucking.” He buries himself deep into you. His hand moves to the front of you and begins to rub your swollen clit, loving how you squeeze him. “You better cum around me, sunshine. Let your mum and the neighbours hear how hot you sound at getting fucked.” He fucks you harder and faster, feeling his balls tighten and his cock twitch as his end approaches, but he holds back, wanting you to cum first.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Daddyyyyy!” You scream, throwing your head back as your walls clench and unclench around him, squirting around his thick member and into the pool. Your head falls forward, resting against the edge of the pool as Lloyd continues to fuck into you until he grunts and cums deep into you, burying into you until his cum leaks out.

“Fuck, sunshine. I hope you get fucking pregnant after this. I want everyone to know that I own you.” He presses a kiss to the back of your head, slowly pulling out of your tight cunt and tucking himself back into his trunks.

You spin around and press a soft kiss to his lips. The two of you don’t notice your mum watching you through the window, a saddened but not shocked look on her face. Lloyd wraps your legs around his waist, holds onto you, caresses your cheek, and looks into your eyes lovingly. “I love you, my little sunshine.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

Ari grins darkly, his cum painted on the fence as he tucks his softened cock back into his jeans. He finally has something to use against the two of you to get what he wants. Maybe he and Lloyd can come to an agreement, perhaps even share you for when the two of them need a release.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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georgiapeach30513 · 1 month

Text

With Your Touch, Part 2

Summary: Lloyd has some rules, and very little control.

Pairings: Lloyd Hansen X Au Pair!Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual tension, video sex, a bit of voyeurism, implied male masturbation, teasing, daddy issues, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.9K

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“Shh, sweetheart. We’ve got to tell your daddy you need a proper middle name. Unless you’re European. Can you tell me if you are?” Lyla giggles a bit, reaching a hand up to touch your face. “Oh, I knew it. You want one. So what do you think your dad will like an A name? A B name?” The baby squeals so loud you hear Lloyd’s loud banging stop. Pausing while he focuses on Lyla’s voice.

“Was that a good sound or bad? I haven’t learned her noises. Cries. Voice. I don’t know what the correct terminology would be, but I haven’t learned it.”

“It isn’t bad. She’s communicating with me.”

“What?” His voice is laced in so much confusion that you find it so endearing. He was obnoxious, but trying. His rules for you as the au pair were a bit too much, but the pay was ridiculously good. And Chase didn’t live too far. He could sneak in.

You walk into Lyla’s room, wanting to laugh as Lloyd curses at the crib he was trying to put together. Looking down at the sweet baby in your arms as her daddy throws something else, “He’s pitching a fit.”

“No the — no, I’m not. This stupid thing is impossible with these dumbass directions. And she can’t sleep in her bedroom. I don’t want her to sleep in the portable crib anymore. I want her to have a space of her own. I highly doubt her whore of a mother gave her that. And yes, she is. Any woman that drops off a baby with their father who knows fuck all about kids is a whore and shitty human being. And Lyla, I apologize. I’m working on not talking like an asshole around her.”

Working on it, and failing miserably, it is still cute he thinks he’s going to change that quickly. Even just acknowledging that type of language isn’t suitable for her is a start. “And here I am in over my head, putting together an overly pink bedroom for her because she didn’t ask to be born, and I am extra.”

“Yeah, designer baby clothes aren't what a lot of parents do.”

“How did your father dress you?”

Chuckling, you put Lyla in her carrier. You place her slightly behind, but still beside Lloyd, and plant yourself beside him, grabbing up the directions. “Roman didn’t dress me. My mother did. Roman might have paid for things, but my mom was the one that was there always. So you’re doing a lot better than him.”

“Is this a moment you tell me you have daddy issues?”

Snorting, you look up at him, shaking your head no, “This is me telling you my experience with my father. Having a dad in a girl’s life makes a difference. I call him Roman. What do you want Lyla to call you?”

“Dad.”

“You know you didn’t hesitate?” Taking a deep inhale, Lloyd grabs the directions from you, busying himself in reading them. You don’t think he actually is looking at them, he’s absorbing what you said, while also refusing to look at you and show you his vulnerability. “Speaking of which, why doesn’t she have a middle name?”

“Why does she need one?”

“What’s your middle name?” You counter quickly, and he leans back. His eyes gazing over your body. Wondering where the hell you came from because clearly you didn’t know who he was.

He narrows his eyes, looking at you and then his daughter. Lyla can’t help but to giggle at him. Tiny little thing. You wonder if she was malnourished or just a bit miniature anyways. “Bennett,” he waits to see if you react before continuing. “Why does she need one?”

“Beatrice,” he looks down at the baby who chuckles again. “She likes you, and she told me she wanted a name that started with B, and now I find out your name starts with a B. I think you and your daddy are a perfect pair, don’t you Miss Lyla Bee?” Despite whatever nonsense her mother had her living in, she's a happy baby. One that is very much aware of her daddy. Her bright green eyes focus on him when he looks at her.

“Lyla Bee. I like that. She’s like my little bumble bee. Should we get rid of all the pink and change it to bumble bees? Did I make a mistake with the pink? What if she doesn’t like pink?”

You shrug your shoulders. It really didn’t matter what she liked. She seemed to like her dad, and he adored her, and wanted to do right by her. “I think we should keep the pink. Here, you tend to the baby, and let me have a go at this crib. You’re messing everything up. And she really likes you.”

“But you’re the au pair?” He says, holding onto Lyla. He gives his finger to her, and her little baby fingers wrap around him tightly.

“And you’re mucking up this crib. Can I? I helped my mom with my little brother’s crib. It was a long time ago. But,” you go silent, grabbing the directions back from Lloyd. Using the same tactic he did earlier. Focus on this and ignore the questions, “No, Roman is not his father.”

“Didn’t ask,” he didn’t have to. Everyone else did. Your brother was an angel, and his father was…well, he was there. He made sure that Vincent was taken care of. Might not have offered you any attention, but you weren’t his responsibility.

“You thought it, so that was enough. I like the simple, but extravagant theme you went for in her bedroom though. Even if the Dior bunny is a bit much.”

“She likes it,” he chuckles, looking down at his daughter. “My partner told me buying things is my love language.”

“You must really love your daughter then,” he whispers out ‘yeah’, not realizing how much it hurts you that he loves someone he just met. And your father knew about you during the pregnancy. You didn’t have daddy issues. You had men issues. Men couldn’t be trusted. There were to be looked at, and put to good use.

You flop down on the seat next to Lloyd on the couch with a cup of microwave macaroni and cheese. You take a bite of the easy dinner, glancing at the television while Lloyd scowls. His eyes drift over your body, slightly confused. Watching as your jaw pulses with your chews.

“I feel you watching me,” he didn’t hide his facial expressions. You could read exactly what he was thinking by the quirks of his brows and mouth alone. Not that you had been paying attention to his mouth.

“What is that dreadful shit you’re eating?”

You turn your body towards him, and slowly take another bite. Noting how his eyes go to your mouth as he watches you chew in disgust. “It only took three and a half minutes to make.”

“It smells like it did. But what are you eating?” This man has been rich his entire life. Didn’t even know the joys of microwaveable food.

“It’s mac and cheese,” you giggle. Scooping out a bit, and you hold the spoon out for him. “Try it.”

“I’d rather not,” his face no longer disgusted, but more indifferent.

“Because you’re scared to eat after me?” He rolls his eyes as you take another bite of the sinfully delicious and preservative filled dinner. It probably had too much sodium in it, and the way you dressed it up surely didn’t help. But it was simple and comforting all the same. Lloyd could learn to loosen up a bit. Bring himself down to a ‘normal lifestyle’.

“While sharing a spoon with you does repulse me. The idea of eating something that came out of a microwave is just as disgusting. Did your father not feed you well?”

“Roman,” you emphasize his name. One day Lloyd would understand that Roman was nothing but a sperm donor and a bank. “He didn’t feed me. My mother did. And she wanted me to be normal.”

“Eating proper food is normal,” you liked him. Legitimately liked him. He also didn’t get offended when you popped back. He probably always had someone around him ready to take orders. That is until you.

“I mean have the American dream.”

“Yes, the American dream is definitely to eat food that is cheaper than toilet paper.”

Slowly blinking, you watch him watch you. Something that should be uncomfortable with the lack of a baby as a buffer wasn’t. You wanted to bring him back down to earth. He was a bit pompous and a lot of an asshole, and you still liked it. “I’m going to make you a cup.”

“Please don’t,” his voice is flat as he watches you jump up from the couch.

“And you’re going to at least try it.”

“I’d rather not,” he is too stiff and robotic with his movements. You want to reach over to his shoulders and make him slouch. Maybe if you made him laugh or shook him? Made him dance with you? You were going to make him break.

“And after you’ve tried it, if you still think the same we can drop it. But what I put into my body is my business. What you put into yours is your business. We won’t judge one another. You can oblige me by cooking me and Lyla Bee a delicious dinner one evening. I’ll humor you, and try your rich people food, mkay?”

This isn’t at all what Lloyd had bargained for. A girl who was given no boundaries. But you had helped him get Lyla’s bedroom in order. She was even sleeping soundly in her crib while a monitor sat on the coffee table. You hadn’t complained when he would start throwing things in a fit. And somehow managed to calm him down.

“Fine, but I don’t cook. I have a private chef,” he responds, following you into the kitchen. Eyeing you as you go into the pantry. “Where did this come from?”

Sighing, you open up the fridge producing a container of shredded cheese, and walk to the counter. “I had it delivered while you were taking a nap with Lyla. It’s really cute to see you sleeping with a baby on your chest. You know, I could watch her. Nap time leaves me nothing to do but use Roman’s card to have some food delivered here.”

“I read you should try to bond with your baby whenever you can. I missed time with her. Wait — you were watching me sleep?” It was quick, but you saw his smirk. Did he like you watching him sleep? That almost feels like an invasion of privacy. Or did he like that you looked at him? Called him cute? What was this?

“It got quiet in the apartment. So I went to find you,” and you might have wandered around the giant apartment as well. His bedroom was just the first place you looked. And you might have enjoyed what you saw, and you might have created a quick but stupid scenario of your husband doing that. Not Lloyd in particular, just a blank faced man who may or may not have had a mustache.

“You’re a snoop?”

“I’m curious by nature,” it wasn’t a lie. You weren’t looking for something to hurt or burn Lloyd with. Just wanted to give a gander through everything. “So what exactly are my hours? When you’re here do you want me to be here? Can I request time off? Have a social life? You won’t exactly let me have people here, and I do respect that. This is yours and Lyla’s space, and I know with your line of work discretion is advised. But I can’t have my only friends be you and a baby. I do have a boyfriend, and I fear I won’t if I don’t see him.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Lloyd smirks. That smile dies quickly as he watches you mix up the cheese concoction to the now completed noodles, and slide the disposable container to him. “You’re not going to put this in a real bowl?”

After washing your hands, you splash a bit of water on him. Giggling when his face turns into a snarl, “Loosen up. This is microwave food. And I need to see other people. Do you not like Chase?”

“His name is dumb,” rolling your eyes, you look away from him. Listening for any signs of movement on the monitor while Lloyd takes a tentative bite of the mac and cheese. Curling up his nose until the spoon touches his tongue, and you see his eyebrows go up. “But this isn’t that bad.”

“What’s wrong with his name?”

“Chase is a verb,” he answers matter of fact. He was going to be one of those. Complete alpha male, and you were bringing someone into his home that was hurting his ego. You weren’t even sure if Chase was the one, but he is definitely the one right now. You didn’t meet your forever person in college, and you’re not even sure you believe in that. You just find someone you tolerate and make sure the sex is good. Plus Chase was amazing to look at and a lot of fun.

“And I don’t want boys in and out of Lyla Bee’s life,” he liked the way the nickname you gave her sounded. It suited his sweet little bee. She had proven to be the sweetest and most cuddly baby he’d ever met. But he had only met one.

“I can respect that as long as you respect the fact that he is my boyfriend,” Lloyd didn’t really want to or have to for that matter. But you were new to this life and to him. You’d eventually see that Lloyd commanded all. Not that he would torture you like he did some. As long as you followed the rules.

“Fine.”

“Is it okay that I came out here tonight? Would you rather me stay holed up in my room? Alone?”

“No,” he answers, walking to the garbage can to dispose of the trash. He heads towards the sink, washing his spoon quickly before leaving you to go back into the living room. Leaving you with more questions than answers.

“No, as in it’s okay that I came out?”

“Were you supposed to stay in your bedroom and starve?” Well that was a simple question to answer. But it was your first night here, and you didn’t know what boundaries he had that you shouldn’t cross. “I don’t expect us to be best friends. But we live together. You’re the woman that takes care of my daughter, and I’m the man.”

Saying it in such simple terms made this arrangement sound strange. You didn’t want to be an au pair, and didn’t see yourself living with a man and his daughter. His baby daughter, who couldn’t even crawl. Currently you think about this weird living situation, and how lines could easily become blurred here.

“What are my duties?”

“You’ve already told me that you have daddy issues, and now you’re asking me what your duties are? Please. I’m going to bed. This line of question is — it’s not good for me. Goodnight, Dolly. Stay up as long as you like, but in the morning I’ll be gone. Tomorrow will be all your responsibility. I’ve added a monitor to your room. If it’s before five, I can tend to her.”

He walks off leaving you with even more questions. Why did he suddenly have that outburst? What had made him seem so sensitive? And you didn’t have daddy issues. You were just fine without your father. You didn’t seek the approval of a man, or needed one to keep you in line. Sure you might watch Lloyd with Lyla and wish that Roman had even an ounce of care that Lloyd had shown in the first few hours that you met him.

Lyla is lucky to have a man that stepped up to be her father. He didn’t have to. From what you understand he didn’t even know of her existence, but it didn’t matter. She was his priority.

Exhaling deeply, you turn off all the lights, and walk to your bedroom. You’d promised Chase you would call once you were settled in bed. You’d leave the awkward talk with Lloyd for tomorrow, or whenever he decided to show up. Giving a look towards his door instead of Lyla’s telling yourself you would crack him. It was one day, and things wouldn’t always be this awkward.

Sitting on your overly plush bed, you call up Chase, and he answers on the first ring, “FaceTime me. I want to see you.”

Flipping it over to a video call, you see his handsome face, and smile like a schoolgirl. “Nice room. Have you figured out how I’m going to be able to sneak in there?”

“Chase!”

“Oh, come on. It will be fun. I’ve never fucked an au pair before,” you roll your eyes. Letting the camera drift a bit before pulling apart your pajama top. Giving him a quick flash of your chest. “Oh, princess, I like that. Is that why you called me? We’ve never had phone sex before.”

”Being around a baby and a man child today made me miss you,” you give him a little pout. The performance that he loved so much, and you just enjoyed to see him get feral. “All I could think about was falling asleep because you wore me out.”

”I could fucking wear you out.”

“Oh, yeah? What would you do to me?”

“I know how you like an audience. Maybe not actually seeing you, but you love when people can hear you. You think daddy Lloyd would have a problem hearing you whisper my name?” Daddy Lloyd? Now why did that give you a bit of a pause. A rumble in your belly that you hadn’t expected. Ignoring a few of Chase’s words as your mind ponders, going in so many different directions of why those words strung together made you…feel.

“He’d hear you gasping for breath as I stab into that sweet little cunt. Or maybe he’d walk in to see you riding me. Why don’t you remind me how you ride me,” you hum at him, and he pans the camera down to his lap, and he’s gripping the base of his cock so tightly. Beads of precum gather at the tip. Normally he’d have his cock already covered in a condom. But seeing him in all his glory is doing something to you.

“Grab a pillow, and pretend it’s me. I’ll stroke my cock to whatever pace you set.”

—

Lloyd flops to the other side. Grabbing his pillow he covers his head thinking about anything besides what he is hearing. He shouldn’t have added the camera to your room. But to be fair the cameras were in every fucking room in the apartment. How was he going to protect you and his daughter if he didn’t know what was going on?

Maybe the ones in the bathroom were too much, but they weren’t pointing at the toilet. My god, he wanted to look. Wanted to turn the volume down. Wanted to get that stupid verb out of his mind. But the verb wouldn’t stop talking. It isn’t even fair that you are whispering. It is normal for people to masturbate. You’d just sound better without his pathetic attempts at phone sex.

“Ugh,” Lloyd growls. He could exit out of the app if he wanted to, but he didn’t. Is it because he didn’t want to? Is it because he liked the sound of your sweet noises? Or is it because it had been too long since he had felt something besides his hand? He isn’t sure. The only thing he was truly positive about was you were killing him.

All fucking day. Acting all innocent and oblivious. He’d been away from women for too long, and you were…you knew what you were doing. Your cute little domestic moments with his daughter. You made him army ration mac and cheese that were at least edible. You helped him. You didn’t even ask, you just sat down and helped him. And you were sweet with his baby.

His emotions are conflicting with his need to…

He had to stop this utter nonsense. He isn’t a rational man, but he did what he had to do with the cameras. And now it’s backfiring on him because you can’t fucking whisper a moan. Why did your heavy breathing sound so sexy?

Why did he want to look? Were you topless? One peek wouldn’t hurt. But it would be crossing a line. How would he feel if someone was doing this with his daughter? He wouldn’t like it. You were Roman’s daughter. Even though he didn’t tell him you had the prettiest…

Nope. He is spiraling down into a sinful rabbit hole. His cock is too hard and angry and it is killing him to not look. He even fears grabbing his phone to turn down the volume will make him want to watch you. See you do whatever the fuck you are doing. Judging by the sounds and whatever The Verb was saying, you are grinding on a fucking pillow.

One look won’t hurt.

Nope, he can’t do this. He throws the blanket off him. Sitting up in the bed, he rests his elbows on his knees. Head in his hands as he tries to make his cock calm down. He was lonely. But it feels even wrong to fuck his fist because your voice is what got him hard.

This arrangement was needed, but this is difficult. Feeling a bit impossibly hard right now. Everything was hard. Including his fucking cock. It was quaking with the need to be dealt with.

Shaking his head, he stands up. His cock pressing uncomfortably against his boxers. A walk through the apartment is much needed. Get away from the noise. Maybe eat another somewhat edible peasant mac and cheese.

This was a bad idea. He sees the soft glow underneath your bedroom door, and has a deep desire to sling it open and get on to you for being…

No. He can’t do that. You’re not ‘breaking’ any of his rules. You’re just mutually masturbating with your boyfriend, and you’re taking too long. Not that he would make sure to fuck you quickly. He just doesn’t want someone else taking their time with you.

What the fuck is he even talking about? He can’t fuck you. You were Lyla’s. He just paid you. He could pay you in other ways.

No!

You fucking asked him what your duties were. He’d love for your duties to be getting to your knees and letting him see how pretty your mouth looked with his cock in it. His tip nudging the back of your throat while tears fill your eyes, and your lungs cry for air.

What the actual fuck? Why was he like this? Why was this a struggle? And why is he going the opposite way of the kitchen? Landing directly in front of your door? Listening to your sounds live. Panting. Whimpering. Not saying The Verb’s name. He’d have you screaming his name. He would have you begging for him to let you come. Have you edged all day because you wanted to tease him with silly little questions about your duties.

He’d have tears falling down your cheeks as he smirks down at you. Letting you know what a pathetic and needy little slut you were. Fuck you so hard your eyes are rolling into the back of your head, and you’re completely dumb. So dumb that you’re just spouting out random words until he’s left his seed inside your belly.

Walking to your bathroom to get a washcloth to clean you up before leaving you blissed out. Making you so needy that you beg for his attention. Start being a good girl so you get more time with is cock in — inside of you. Ready to crawl on your knees after Lyla was put to sleep, and telling him you’re his little sex doll. And he would make so much use of your body and holes. Fucking you every night. Special time just for you. Just so he can feel your tight…tight…tight walls milk him dry.

”Lloyd?” Your voice pants on the other side of the room. “Lloyd is that you?” Getting closer to the door. He tucks his cock back in his boxers. Not even realizing he had been rubbing one out to your sounds. Wiping his hands on the silk of his underwear when you sling the door open.

How did you become prettier? A sheen of sweat around your hairline, and yep…you’d been grinding on a fucking pillow. Your bed is a crumbled up mess and a pillow is right in the middle of the bed. “Is everything okay? Sorry, I was…I was telling Chase goodnight.”

The Verb. You had shorts on earlier. Now it’s this t-shirt that was barely covering your legs. Were you naked? Did you show him your pussy? Your chest continues to heave, and he hates The Verb. He despises him. He’s got to go. You can’t spend time with Lyla and him if The Verb was in the picture. “Lloyd, are you okay?”

“I’m hungry.”

”I’m confused,” what was his reason for being at your door, telling you that he was hungry.

”I like ramen. The gross kind. The kind that…”

”Like top ramen?” You ask him confused. Mouth still slightly open as you try to catch your breath and his eyebrow quirks up. Did you know he was listening to you and stroking himself?

“Yes. You made me your cheap noodles, would you like me to make you some of my cheap noodles?”

“It’s after midnight.”

“Fine, I’ll eat the noodles by myself,” spinning on his heels, he walks away from you into the kitchen. It isn’t long until he hears the soft pads of your feet following him. “I told you it was okay.”

“You — did you…I was almost asleep.”

“Yes, yes. I understand. You were almost asleep as you were telling your…boyfriend goodnight. That’s exactly what almost asleep sounds like,” that list bit of his sentence sounds a bit implying. Did he know?

“Did you hear our conversation?” Was it even a conversation? He couldn’t remember. He just heard you telling him you were going to come. Not The Verb, but Lloyd. You are a tease. He didn’t mean to get off on your voice. “How long were you out here?”

“Grab me a pot?” Oh you were obedient, bending over to get a pot, and standing up quickly. Not quick enough. No panties. He pretends to see nothing. You can sleep with no panties. That’s a good habit to get into because he can just slide into your bed, and start fucking you. When you get there of course. Consent is key. And he feels like a bastard for what he did tonight. But that movement you just did was on your own.

“Sorry.”

“For what?” He asks with a devilish grin.

“Nothing,” it wasn’t just nothing. But he wasn’t going to make you feel guilty for the need to show him your cunt still glistening. He’d have your legs drenched. “Do you do anything special with your ramen? Or do you make it as is?”

“There’s some eggs and spring onions in the fridge. Does that answer your question?” He nods his head towards the fridge, trying to figure out what else he could make you do to get a little peek. He’d play oblivious. Let you decide what you are comfortable with. “Mind getting me some bowls from the top shelf?”

Standing on your tippy toes you dance around a moment. The bottom of your ass cheeks make a little appearance, and he steps behind you to reach the bowls himself. Taking too long to cage your body with your own. And when you gasp, pressing your ass into his crotch he bounces back immediately. Dropping the bowls into the floor and they shatter into thousands of pieces.

“Shit,” Lloyd whispers under his breath. And without asking, places his hands on your sides to lift you up onto the counter. “Stay there while I clean this up. I don’t need you stepping on glass.”

He doesn’t notice the odd glances that you give him as he picks up the larger pieces and starts sweeping up the rest. “My mom always uses wet a paper towel to get the tiny pieces up.”

“That’s smart,” he follows your instructions. And stands up straight. You have already gotten more comfortable, and your legs are not so tightly pressed together. He has to bite his tongue in order to not look. But as high up as that shirt is sitting on your thighs, he knows. And you are aware that he knows.

“Not that Lyla can even crawl right now, but the idea of there being these tiny pieces of glass for you to step on when holding her,” his words stop, and he stands in front of you. How did you not realize he was shirtless? Why is his chest so close to your face as he reaches above your head for more bowls? Why does he smell like a wet dream? Push the thoughts away.

“I don’t want you hurting yourself and dropping her in an accident.”

“I won’t drop her.”

“Knock on the cabinets immediately! That is bad luck,” you do as he says, not pegging him as a superstitious man at all. “I had some chance to think about it. I think on Sundays you should have the day off completely unless I’m out of town. Saturdays, is it fair to ask for you to work half a day? Just until around noon?”

“I think that’s fair.”

“And maybe we should not talk about The Verb?”

“The Verb?” What was he even talking about? You notice his eyes flick momentarily to your lap, and you realize how comfortable you had gotten on this counter. Your legs are too far apart. He had to have seen something. Was he disappointed? You didn’t want to disappoint him. You had just started to get to know him. You wanted to prove to him and yourself that you could care for a baby.

“That Chase boy.”

“My boyfriend?” You giggle. Why did he have such an issue with Chase?

“Why is he even your boyfriend?”

“He’s better than a dildo. I mean,” you feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment, and have to look at the floor. Missing how big Lloyd’s smile spreads across his smug face. Or the way he is stalking towards you like he’s ready to pounce on his prey. “We’ve been together for awhile, but it’s not that serious.”

“Sweetheart, don’t settle for better than a dildo,” he stands right in front of you. Both hands on your knees as he goes to push your legs apart. Inserting himself in between your thighs. The weird feeling in your tummy returns, and you hate having no panties on as slick floods to your core. Throat dry as his finger touches your chin and lifts your face up to look at him. “And when I’m speaking to you, I expect you to look me in the eyes, do you understand?”

You nod your head slowly, but he clicks his tongue, “And I expect you to verbally answer in my home. Little head gestures are easily misinterpreted, okay?”

“Okay,” he raises an eyebrow, wanting you to finish your sentence, but words are impossible, and your brain is mush. Everything is delayed as you feel the heat between you and Lloyd, “I understand.”

“If you need something better than a dildo and more than The Verb just use your words,” what the fuck does that even mean? He steps away from you much quicker than he inserted himself. The air in the room is heavy and stifling, and you wonder if you even knew how to breathe without reminding yourself to inhale and exhale.

“Do you like creamy ramen or brothy?” This bastard is really changing the subject. You can’t even think with the two heartbeats you feel. One inside your chest, while the other is between your thighs and throbbing. Why is your heart beating so fast? Why is your body betraying you?

“I don’t think I’ve had creamy.”

“You want to get me the heavy whipping cream?” He gives you a cheeky smile when you jump off the counter and head towards the fridge.

“Why are you asking me to do all these things?”

“Because you listen so well,” you pause before reaching for the heavy whipping cream, and turn to look at him.

“What is this?” He’s playing a sick game. He had to be. He saw this ‘vulnerable little girl’ that he had to save. You didn’t need saving, you were fine all on your own.

“You’re very well behaved. Your mother did a good job. Until just now you didn’t even question it. Just did as I asked,” what is he getting at? He is talking in riddles, or backwards, or you are just reading too much into whatever this exchange is. Keeping your mouth closed for the rest of the evening.

Keeping your eyes off him as you squirm around uncomfortably in your seat. Is this uncomfortable because of him? Or are you weirded out because you are feeling things because of him. If you look up, you’d see him smiling as he watches the weird inner turmoil going on in your head.

Finishing before you, he stands up to put his bowl in the dishwasher. Walking past you towards his bedroom, he stops. “And Dolly?”

“Yes?” You ask, turning around in your chair.

“When you leave your room make sure you have on panties,” oh. My. God. He knew. He saw. He didn’t say anything until now. “Because next time I won’t force myself to stop my need to lean you over the counter and spank your ass.”

“Okay,” you didn’t know how to respond to that, and you couldn’t believe how your body was internalizing his words. Heat. Fire. Desire. Embarrassment. Lust. How you have immediate visions of Lloyd doing just that, and spreading your cheeks to see if he made you wet. He did. Uncomfortably so.

“Good girl, I’ll see you tomorrow evening,” he needs a cold shower. He needs away from you because his cock has been at full mast since you questioned why he was asking you to gather things for him. You could try to deny it, but he turned you on as much as you turned him on.

And yet here is your employer, and you are just the sweet au pair with daddy issues. No matter what you say. And he supposes he’s the sick bastard that didn’t mind teasing you. Giving you something to think about. Options? Something for the spank bank? He hopes you go to bed wet and frustrated. Wake up to needing to fuck your own fingers as you think about the close proximity he had to you.

He hopes that you are dripping with need for his cock, and his care and protection. And he hopes that a cold shower is enough to get visions of you yipping with every smack to your ass. That you would be the perfect and obedient girl for him. Woman. Girl sounded gross in this context. Thank you, Roman for making sure your daughter had daddy issues. But fuck him for not loving his daughter the way you deserved.

Masterlist

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#with your touch #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x fem!reader #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen fic #lloyd hansen fics #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen fanfic #daddy issues #au pair au #lloyd hansen x au pair!reader

259 notes · View notes

onsunnyside · 2 years

Note

Ok but Lloyd, having you lying down naked on the table in front of him, worshiping your body while he's giving orders to his team, smacking your pussy/cheek every time you let out a whimper 😵‍💫

mean!lloyd may be my favourite lloyd

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | Lloyd Hansen x reader

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | smut - minors dni, exhibitionism/lloyd being nasty & mean, pussy slapping, fingering (f), daddy kink, dirty talk, degradation, dumbification, overstimulation, squirting. mentioned: knife play, gun play.

𝗪/𝗖 | 540

❤️‍🔥 𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐅𝐢𝐱 𝐇𝐢𝐦 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

“Sir, that isn’t what protocol is.”

Lloyd blinks, “You’re new here.”

“Uh, only by a few weeks.” The young man replies, soon realizing he should have stayed silent.

“Of course, it’s always the newbies.” The brunet sighs, his arm flexes, his fingers knuckle-deep between your thighs. “I know you’ve heard of me, so you must know those rules you follow back at HQ mean less than dogshit to me. As does your opinion, and anything else that comes out of that fuckhole mouth of yours.”

A sharp whimper brings him back down, and he glances at his hand. Your juices leak down his wrist to his watch, only adding to the growing mess under you. You cry out again and fist your shirt, the only thing Lloyd let you keep on while he played with you—in the sick and twisted way he often did, in front of his team during a meeting while planning hits as if you weren’t there.

“What? Are you going to talk back too?” He asks, swatting your soaked cunt, the lewd noise bouncing off the walls. “This isn’t punishment enough, baby?”

You desperately shake your head, toes curling in pleasure as he lands a series of slaps on your throbbing clit. Teased beyond relief, you can barely breathe. You didn’t expect to last this long, but you knew it was only a matter of time until you could no longer stay quiet.

“Dumb little girl—can’t even let daddy work, can’t even stay quiet for me. Should’ve gagged you instead, make you warm me with your mouth. Bet you’d fucking love that.” He huffs, “Always has to steal my attention, fucking slut.” Lloyd harshly rubs your clit, bullying the sensitive button while you squirm and whine on the wooden table.

Your back arches as you gasp, and euphoria rushes in. It takes you by storm, and your vision goes white. All you feel is Lloyd and his torture, and all his mean words jumble into something incoherent.

Lloyd watches you squirt and soak his sleeve and the table. Your cunt flutters and begs for something, his fingers, his knife or his gun—he’s tempted to give in, but you don’t deserve it. Not after being so interruptive and ungrateful. He slaps you once you’ve come back down, and you squeal, legs snapping shut around his forearm.

“You,” He nods at the man from earlier and his predictions are confirmed. His gaze is locked on you with lamely concealed lust, “You stay, everyone else, out.”

As the other people file out of the office, the young man remains seated at the table, practically shaking in his chair. “You can’t look away from my girl, huh? She’s a real treasure.” Lloyd prys your thighs apart, ignoring your pleas for a break. “Daddy’s busy right now, pumpkin, shut up.” Another swat and you fall slack on the table.

“I’m gonna show you exactly why she’s mine, I’ll let you look at her while I fuck her stupid—and that’ll be the last thing you’ll ever see.” He finishes just as the last guard leaves, and the door locks after him. “I’d get comfortable if I were you. Even though she looks exhausted, my baby’s quite insatiable after being teased so much.”

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eloquentreverie · 11 months

Text

𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑶𝑵 𝑴𝒀 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑫

warnings: 18+ content. minors dni! p in v sex, angst, slight knife kink if you squint, soft!dark! lloyd, non-con that slowly turns into dub-con, kidnapping, slight dacryphilia.

pairing: soft!dark! lloyd hansen x ex-girlfriend!reader

summary: After a painful breakup, Lloyd Hansen kidnaps his ex-girlfriend, seeking both her affection and the satisfaction of getting even for her betrayal. Will she be able to escape his clutches, or will Lloyd get the last laugh?

prompt: 16: in a private jet, on the way to a business trip.

author’s note: anon, I hope you enjoy this! I loved writing this and kind of got carried away with the word count! Also I tried my best to make this soft!dark.

listen to the playlist | library | read on ao3

Lloyd Hansen is whipped. It’s not something he’s willing to admit. And he’s not going to. At least, not yet. He had been with a lot of women throughout the years but none of them left a mark the way she did. It’s been about a month since the two of them broke up. And he still can’t get her out of his head. It’s infuriating! She’s all he can think or dream about. She’s becoming a nuisance. He can barely focus on his current mission. And to him, it’s all her fault.

He drops everything mid way through his flight. He demands the pilots alter the course to pick her up. There’s no way he’s going to be able to finish this mission without Y/N. And he’s positive once he has her, everything will be fine. He’s smiling, just thinking of all the sick things he has planned for her. He wants her to pay. Sure, maybe he would think differently if it had been his idea to break up but no, it had been hers.

When they land the plane at the local airport, Lloyd recognizes the town as if he were born and raised there. He has been obsessed with Y/N ever since she ended their relationship. At first, he struggled to cope, pushing her out of his mind and trying to move on, but Y/N was ever-present, like an unlucky penny. He tried everything to get over her but she kept coming back to haunt him, leaving him with an unquenchable thirst for her.

By the time he reached her house, the sun had set and everything was going according to plan. A couple of his men suggested that they would handle the situation but Lloyd insisted - he wanted to be the one to capture and abduct Y/N. It was only fair, after the months of pain and suffering she had caused him. He was determined to make her pay.

As he crept into her tiny home, avoiding the creaky floorboards, he felt anxiety wash over him. But then Y/N's scent hit him like a wave - a mix of vanilla and lavender that left him aching for more. He was careful and precise, his movements graceful and silent, like a hunter stalking his prey. He wanted her, and he was going to get her, no matter what. The thought of her in his power made him grin, a sick, twisted smirk that didn't leave his face. He was finally going to make her pay for breaking his heart.

Lloyd remembers the last time they spoke like it was yesterday. It had replayed in his mind like a broken record, forever on loop and torturing his soul.

Y/N stormed into her house, Lloyd hot on her heels. He slammed the door behind them, "What the hell were you doing with him?!" He seethed. His hands were clenched into fists, and his eyes narrowed as he glared at her.

She whirled to face him, and her anger boiled up inside. "For the last time, we were just talking!" She slammed her purse on the couch. "Oh my god!" Her voice rose to a yell, "I can't do this! You're jealous all the fucking time, and I can't do this anymore!"

His jaw clenched, and his hands rested on his hips. "So just like that? You can't just walk out of my life like this!" The anger dripping from his words was palpable.

"You think I want this?" Y/N shouted back. "I don't! But it's gotten to a point where I can't breathe! You're suffocating me!" She felt her heart breaking, but knew she had to stand up for herself. "Please, just leave Lloyd."

Her words seemed to cut him deep, and he looked hurt. Something in Y/N's stomach twisted, and she knew that this was the end. They couldn't keep going on like this.

Her last words echoed in the space between them, and Y/N knew that she had made the right decision. Their relationship had been unhealthy, and it was time for both of them to move on. She watched as Lloyd left her house, and a small sense of peace washed over her. It would be hard, but she knew she would be okay. She was strong, and she was ready to face whatever came next.

He’s pulled from his thoughts the moment he sees her as he enters the bedroom, moving close to the walls to remain hidden in the shadows. His lips curl into a sly smile as he takes in the sight of Y/N swaying in the bathroom, still in her pajamas, humming to herself and finishing her skin routine at the mirror. Y/N’s breath catches in her chest at the sight of him in her reflection, her heart pounding, frozen in place.

He takes a step closer, the cold steel of the knife pressed against her neck, his free hand wrapped around her waist. With a wicked grin stretching across his features, he takes a deep breath, his nose trailing down her throat, eliciting a shudder down her spine. Her mind races, searching for a way out of this, but she can’t move, can’t think. She’s trapped, and they both know it. “Did you miss me, Princess?” he whispers in her ear.

The moment feels like it stretches on endlessly, each beat of her heart pounding in her chest as he holds her in his grip. She can hear his hot breath on her neck, and feels a sense of dread wash over her as he speaks in a voice dripping with malice. "You're coming with me," he says in an unforgiving tone. She knows she has no choice but to be at his mercy, trapped in his grasp with no way to escape.

Lloyd can hear her heavy breaths and feels the sweat dripping down her neck. He can see the slight tremble in her body as her back presses against his firm chest, and it only adds to his sick delight, knowing that she's already fearful of him. When she doesn't speak, he follows up his earlier threat by trailing the flat part of his knife against her chest, adding to the terror that now courses through her veins.

The cool touch of the blade against her skin sent chills up her spine, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and goosebumps cover her arms. "Now," Lloyd breathed out, stopping the knife just above the neckline of her top and between the valley of her breasts.

"Are you going to be a good girl, or are we going to do this my way?" His voice carried a sinister edge that was impossible to ignore. It was as if he was daring her to do the wrong thing, to give him a reason to hurt her.

Y/N swallowed hard, feeling a sense of fear grip her heart. She knew this situation was delicate and that Lloyd was unstable. She could feel his anger radiating off of him, and hear it in the bitterness of his voice. "Lloyd, you don't have to do this," she whispered, fighting hard to keep her voice steady.

She felt a sense of panic rise within her as Lloyd's hand gripped her jaw. She knew that she had to stay calm and try to talk him down, but the fear was overwhelming, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She tried to take slow, deep breaths to steady herself, but it was difficult with Lloyd's hot breath on her face. She hoped that somehow she could diffuse the situation before it escalated further.

But she knew the stakes were high, that this was a dangerous game she was playing, and one wrong word might set him off. She had to try to diffuse the tension, to find a way out of this mess before it was too late.

Lloyd's knife clicked and retracted into his pocket without another word. He chuckled darkly and pushed her against the wall of the bathroom, causing her to choke out a gasp. Grabbing her hips, he turned her to face him. His gloved hand gripped her jaw, squeezing it with a firm grasp but not enough to leave a bruise.

"I do, sweetheart," Lloyd seethed, his voice laced with venom and anger. "You've made my life a living hell, and you're going to pay for it," he continued, his dark eyes boring into her own, daring her to defy him. His breath was hot against her face, and she could feel his rage emanating from him in waves.

Y/N winced under his harsh grasp, feeling the rough texture of his glove against her skin, evoking a small whimper from her lips. Her heart raced as he started to reach into his pocket, her eyes darted from his heated gaze to his hand that was now reaching into his back pocket. “C-can’t we just talk about this?” She stuttered out, her lip now trembling.

He let out a dark, sadistic chuckle, enjoying how her fear made him more determined and hungry for her. “Oh, sunshine, the time for talking is way past due,” he said with a twist of his lips, his hand slipping down to her throat and causing her to gasp. She instinctively struggled against his hold, fear flooding her heart before he pulled out a cloth and covered her mouth, her vision blurring as she slipped into unconsciousness.

–

Y/N awoke to a slight chill in the air, feeling the soft texture of the luxurious bed against her bare arms. She licked her dry lips as she strained her wrists in her bonds, feeling the slight burn from the friction. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to her new surroundings; the small circular window showcasing a nighttime sky filled with stars, and the steady hum of the plane's engines.

But what caught her eye were the sleek, dark gray walls, contrasting sharply against the marble floor and the narrow and sleek design of the plane. A modern style fit for a king, yet Y/N felt a slight familiarity to it, as if she had been here before. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, and her heart threatened to stop. She was on Lloyd's private jet.

Her heart pounds against her ribcage as she hears loud footsteps coming down the narrow hallway. Lloyd enters the room and stands in front of her, his figure towering over her. The tense silence between them is thick with fear, and Y/N's body trembles in anticipation of what was to come. She had no idea how she ended up here, or what Lloyd's intentions were, but she knew one thing for sure: she had to find a way off this plane.

“Well, well, well, look who’s finally awake,” Lloyd said with a twisted smile, his eyes watching her carefully, a hint of mockery in his tone.

"Is this some kind of sick joke? I'm not amused," Y/N says, her voice filled with frustration and irritation as she meets Lloyd's eyes with a piercing stare, the words coming out in a challenging tone.

"Oh, sweetheart. This isn't a joke at all. I'm quite serious." A mischievous grin played on his lips as he took a step closer, his calloused fingers roughly gripping her chin. He leaned down to whisper in her ear, his hot breath tickling her skin. She felt like her heart was racing at his closeness.

"You've been quite the distraction," he admitted, his voice low and seductive. She could feel his body heat radiating against hers as he spoke, his breath fanning her ear. It sent shivers down her scalp and raised the hairs on her neck. His thumb traces the outline of her jaw before he touches her bottom lip, tugging it down slightly. “So, you see, there’s only one thing left to do.” He adds, his voice low and husky as his blue eyes locked with hers, laced with a familiar desire and hungriness that she’s seen before.

She swallows hard, a determined look on her face despite the warm sensation building in her lower stomach. She's determined to stand up for herself, even if all she can do is yell. "Don't touch me!", she spits out, straining against her restraints once more.

Lloyd snickers, grabbing her by the throat and digging his fingers in. "Oh, Y/N," he purrs, letting go of her neck before turning her and shoving her down onto the plush mattress. She hits the bed with a thud, her cheeks pressed against the soft covers as the air escapes her lungs. Lloyd steps back, his fingers still curled into a fist as he looks down at her.

The silence between them is thick with tension, the only sounds coming from her breathing and the soft rustling of the sheets. He leans forward again, hovering his face inches from hers. She can feel his body heat against her, and the warmth radiating off his skin is palpable. His breath is hot and stale in her face, and she can see his pupils dilating in the low light.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" he hisses, his words barely loud enough to be heard.

She's too afraid to move, frozen in place by the threat in his voice. She knows that one wrong word, one false move, could escalate the situation into something beyond her control. The fear is written all over her face, and she strains even harder against her restraints, trying to break free. The rope stings as it digs and rubs against her skin. But it's no use - Lloyd has complete control of the situation.

Lloyd lets out a sharp laugh, his eyes fixed on her with a mixture of amusement and cruelty. As she struggles against him, her attempts to break free seem only to egg him on. He grabs hold of her pants, grinning widely as he pulls them down.

Her eyes widen in shock, and she tries to scoot away, still trying to get her bearings. Her heart thuds in her chest as the sound of a zipper being lowered reaches her ears. Tears pool in the corners of her eyes as the reality of what’s happening sets in. She doesn’t want to believe it, doesn’t want to think that Lloyd could be capable of such a thing.

Her voice becomes a choked whisper, and she shakily tries to reason with him, “L-lloyd, please… don’t do this!”

He only laughs again, his grin growing wider as he leans down once again, his lips against the shell of her ear. The smell of his breath is hot and thick on her cheek, making her stomach churn. She continues to squirm, desperate to get away, her body tensed and her breath coming short gasps. She’s never felt so vulnerable and scared in her entire life, and she can’t believe that she’s in this situation with a man she used to trust.

Her heart aches, and tears continue to stream down her face as she comes to a terrifying realization… that she’s at the mercy of a man who has no mercy.

“Lloyd, don’t…” Y/N sobs as she feels him grab her hips again, forcing her to bend her knees. “Oh, sweetheart ,” he purrs at the sight of her bare cunt. “I’m going to enjoy this.” He grips the shaft of his cock, pressing the wet tip against her slick folds. He looks down at her with a self satisfied grin before shoving himself in one swift motion. He doesn’t care to let her walls stretch around him. The burning sensation mixes with a sensation of pleasure as she chokes out a gasp.

More tears stream down her cheeks as her body betrays her, slick drips down her thighs. She doesn’t want to feel this way but she can’t deny how good this feels as he pounds into her, his cock so deep she can feel every inch of him. He’s not soft or gentle. Lloyd grunts, his fingertips digging into skin of her hips. She's sure he’s gonna leave a mark. “What’s wrong, pumpkin? Can’t take it?” He mocks with a rough thrust into her that sends her gasping, a soft moan escaping her lips.

Y/N clenches her hands into fists, wishing she could hold onto something–anything. But all she can do is lay there and take it. Her cheek still pressed against the sheets, ass up in the air as she feels his hips snapping against her ass. “H-hate you. S-so much!” She whimpers, squeezing her eyes shut as her cunt clenches around him.

“No. You hate that you like it.” He retorts, a smirk on his lips. When he bends down to untie the rope binding her wrists, a wave of relief washes over her. The pressure on her skin eases, and she can move her hands for the first time in hours. But even with her wrists free, the intensity of Lloyd’s touch remains intense. She grips the sheets tightly, holding back a soft moan as he continues at a brutal pace. Despite her efforts to muffle it, she knows he hears her, and there’s a hint of amusement in his expression.

“That’s it, baby. Give in. Y/N. You’ve been craving this, haven’t you? Missed my cock filling you up?” When she doesn’t answer, he growls, leaning forward and pulling her back with his fist in her hair. Her back comes in contact with his chest, his hand slipping from her hair and wrapping tightly around her waist. The next thing she felt was his lips trailing over her shoulder, his thrusts never relenting.

His mouth trails sloppy kisses up her neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin as his hands trail over the thin fabric of her tank before he pulls it down, revealing her bare breasts to the cool air of the plane. A low groan slips past his lips as her tits bounce as he speeds up. “You’re mine, you hear me?” He grumbles into her ear. “Mine. Never gonna let you go.” Without another word, Lloyd begins kneading her breasts, making her gasp. “You like that, don’t you? C’mon, sweetheart. I wanna hear you say it.”

He craved her; that was a fact. It didn’t matter what she thought about him, how much she despised him, or how desperately she tried to ignore the desire that burned within her. He had a hold on her, and he knew it. “I’m yours.” Y/N breathed out before closing her eyes as she felt her walls clench around him. That was enough for Lloyd. He’d been trying his best to stay in control this whole time but he couldn’t wait any longer. With his right hand, he gripped her chin, pressing his lips against hers fervently.

There was nothing sweet or short about the kiss, his hips grinding deep into her cunt, making her moan against his mouth. “That’s right. You’re mine, sweetheart. Forever.” His hand fists her hair once more, pulling her against his chest tighter and kissing her neck. His balls throbbing every time he felt her clench around him. Lloyd groaned as he felt his body tense before his cum spilled out of her.

He gently laid her back down on the bed, leaning down to give her a soft kiss on the forehead. “Sleep well, pumpkin. I’ll be back shortly.” He whispered, pulling up his pants and shoving himself back in his slacks. He grabbed a blanket, watching as her breathing slowed down and her eyes fluttered shut. Lloyd gave her one last look before he strided down the hallway, preparing to land and take out his next target.

banners credit: @.saradika & @.fic-dumpster

#soft!dark! fic #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen oneshot #dark fic #lloyd hansen smut

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universitypenguin · 7 months

Text

Chapter XXI

Summary: Lloyd is disturbed when Princess has another close call. He struggles with his feelings before having an epiphany about their relationship.

Word Count: 6,839

Masterlist

Warnings: 18+ readers only. Smut, erotica level explicitness, use of nipple clamps, allusions of impact play (Lloyd threatens to spank Princess), semi-rough sex. Criminal elements including stalking, domestic violence, and murder. Major health scare requiring an emergency room visit.

Chapter XXII

You stepped out of the police station and into blinding sunlight. The moment the sun hit your eyes it felt like a thousand needles being stabbed in your retinas. You dug in your purse for a pair of sunglasses. The gradient style lenses weren’t dark enough to provide sufficient shade, so you shielded them with your hand as you scanned the parking lot. Refracted light from Jake’s glossy white Toyota 4Runner hurt your eyes, even though it was idling in the shade, under the porte-cochère.

You climbed in, hoping the vehicle’s dark windows would block the sun. Instead, the reflection off the hood was so bright that your eyes watered. With a hiss, you flipped the visor down.

Jake raised an eyebrow. “Rough day?”

“Not really, we had a great interview with Aliyah this morning, but I started getting a headache after lunch. My eyes are killing me.”

“Do you want to stop by the pharmacy?”

“I’d kill for some ibuprofen.”

In CVS, the pain relief aisle was completely stocked with everything - except ibuprofen.

Jake peered over your shoulder. “Should we try another store?”

“No. I’ll just grab something else.”

You picked up a box of Excedrin that proclaimed itself ‘extra-strength’ and flipped it over to study the label.

“What are you looking for?” Jake asked.

“I don’t know. My mother hates this stuff, she always takes ibuprofen.”

On the walk back to the car you swallowed two tablets and found that you were grateful for Jake’s presence. Since the incident in his backyard Lloyd had decided it was too risky for you to be alone anywhere that wasn’t secure. Outside of his cabin, the only places that met his security standards were the police station in Harmony and his office at Bishop & Howard. Lloyd had taken to dropping you off at the station in the mornings. In the afternoons one of the guys would drive you back to the office and deliver you directly to Lloyd’s office.

You’d agreed to the arrangement without hesitation because it was the logical, prudent course of action. Even so, you couldn’t help resenting that your freedom had been so harshly curtailed. The stalker had made you dependent on others in a way you’d never experienced before and hoped to never experience again. The rotation of bodyguards driving you back and forth between the police station and the office made you feel like a child caught in the middle of a complicated custody dispute.

Jake glanced at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Maybe we should stop by the emergency room,” he said. “You had a concussion recently and-”

“No. I’m fine. This is just a tension headache.”

You adjusted your sunglasses and tried to blink away the spots that danced in front of your eyes. Jake was still trying to persuade you to go to the ER when your throat started to ache, and then the ache became an itch. The itch spread slowly, like a persistent whisper of discomfort until you coughed and wheezed.

Your lips started tingling.

“Jake? I think… maybe we should go to the hospital.”

- - -

Six minutes later, you crossed the threshold of the Forest View Hospital emergency room. You were leaning heavily on Jake and choking on air instead of inhaling it. Your airway had constricted to a terrifyingly narrow passage that seemed to contract even further with each passing second. One look at you and the triage nurse was out of her chair. She guided you to a wheelchair while quizzing Jake about peanuts and shellfish… there was more, but your ears were ringing and you didn’t catch the rest.

A second later, a man in a white coat shoved a needle in your thigh. The injection stung, but the relief was so intense you could’ve kissed him. As the medicine coursed through your veins the feeling of suffocation gradually eased. The man in the white coat took a stethoscope and listened to your breathing.

“Not too bad,” he announced. “But we’ll need to keep you in observation for a while. I administered epinephrine to counter your allergic reaction. Can you tell me about any food or drugs you’ve consumed in the past few hours?”

You were still catching your breath, so Jake stepped forward. “She took an Excedrin about twenty minutes ago.”

Navy blue embroidery on the breast pocket of his white coat proclaimed the man as: Kennedy Knox, M.D., MSc; under his name were the words ‘Family Medicine.’ His nose was slightly crooked and he’d chosen a daring color for his footwear - the neon purple running shoes clashed with his burgundy scrubs.

Jake’s phone rang and he stepped around the curtain to answer it.

Dr. Knox noticed you were shivering and brought you a warm blanket from a glass cabinet before sitting down to take your medical history. Your voice was scratchy, but you managed to answer.

He finished typing and clicked back through his note, scanning the text. “It seems like you might have a sensitivity to aspirin. You said your mother avoids it?”

“She only uses ibuprofen and tylenol,” you confirmed.

“I’m almost certain anaphylaxis was triggered by aspirin, but until you can be tested by an allergist, avoid NSAIDs altogether. I’ll write you a referral.”

He typed another few lines into your chart.

“I see that you suffered a concussion last week?” Dr. Knox said.

“Yeah, I hit my head after getting out of the pool.”

“The Excedrin was for a headache… have you had problems with them since the injury?”

“Just today. The light started bothering me after lunch. By the time I got off work, it was a full-blown tension headache.”

Dr. Knox nodded. “Post-concussive headaches can feel a lot like tension headaches.”

He asked a few more questions and did a palpitation of your neck before picking up his prescription pad.

“Here, you can fill this at any pharmacy in the area…”

Sloppy handwriting on the note read: Pick up some very, very dark sunglasses, ASAP!

You giggled.

Knox winked.

“Doctor’s orders. They’re a must-have accessory for any fashionable concussion survivor. Think of it like wearing a scarf in Alaska.”

“I can get behind a prescription like this,” you said.

He chuckled. “Take care, and remember - no more Excedrin, no aspirin, and always read medications labels from now on.”

After signing the discharge papers you made your way down the hall. Your knees were still shaky but you could breathe. You continued until the sterile hospital atmosphere gave way to the softer, earth-toned decor of the waiting room.

Jake was standing beside Lloyd.

When your gaze clashed with Lloyd’s you almost stopped short. He looked furious, but then you noticed the wrinkle in his chin, a feature that only appeared when he was concerned. His pale eyes were like flint. You crossed to them and he opened his arms, enveloping you in a tight embrace. The weight of his hand smoothing down your back lulled you into relaxation and you wrapped your arms around his neck and laid your head on his shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Turns out I might be allergic to Aspirin.”

Lloyd sighed and squeezed your waist. His next words were directed to Jake.

“Thank you for taking care of her.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You were so exhausted that you didn’t bother listening to the rest of their conversation. It only lasted a minute or so. The whole time, Lloyd’s arms were snug around your waist and the warmth of his body seeped into yours, helping ease the residual shakiness from the epinephrine. Soon, Jake’s footsteps faded away, but Lloyd’s hold on you still didn’t relax. His hand kept stroking up and down your back. You yawned.

“Let’s get you home,” Lloyd murmured.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He was anxious. It was an unusual condition for Lloyd, so the emotion struck him like a foreign disease, a pathogen that his immune system hadn’t been exposed to enough to mount an effective defense against. His skin prickled with hyper-awareness, his shoulder muscles were rigid and tension had gnawed a hole in the pit of his stomach.

You were asleep. He’d loaned you his jacket and you’d nestled into the makeshift pillow and nodded off just a few minutes into the drive. Lloyd snuck a glance at you, his lips compressing into a scowl. This was the second time in the space of ten days that he’d nearly lost you. His fingers clenched on the steering wheel. Wasn’t having a stalker enough? Did you need to have a life-threatening undiagnosed allergy, too?

When he pulled up to the cabin the sun was setting. You didn’t stir when he unbuckled you, so he rounded the vehicle and lifted you into his arms. Navigating the security system keypad and undoing the multiple locks on the front door with you in his arms was challenging, but he managed. By some miracle, your breathing was still deep and even when he laid you on the bed. He removed your shoes, covered you with a throw blanket and settled into the armchair by the window.

Anxiety continued to simmer in his blood. Lloyd did the breathing exercises Dr. Blair had taught him and stared out the window. He wished Nguyen would show his face. There was only one thing that would ease his mind, and it wasn’t breathing exercises.

Lloyd allowed his thoughts to turn toward violent imaginations. A normal person would’ve been horrified by the what ran through his head, but to him cruelty was the height of banality. It was something he’d been born into, a force that shaped his childhood, and then patterned his future. Violent ideas circulated in his mind without sparking the slightest flicker of emotional distress. Accountants had more passion for cash flow strategy than Lloyd did for his plans to end Shun Nguyen’s life.

It wasn’t long before his thoughts turned to more pressing issues.

He had to tell you that Nguyen was your stalker. It was his responsibility. Telling you was necessary and keeping the truth from you was wrong - he understood that very clearly. Lloyd’s teeth ground as he anticipated the impending conversation and wondered why it made him feel so awful. When had he become such a coward? As friends your communication had been seamless, but now that he was your lover, things had shifted.

You weren’t expressing yourself as freely. When you’d just been friends, you’d expressed your thoughts without hesitation, but over the past couple months, that had faded. Lloyd frowned. Why? What had prompted the breakdown in communication?

A soft groan from the bed interrupted his ponderings. You sighed, stretching, then squinted into the darkness.

“Lloyd? What time is it?”

“Just after seven-thirty.”

He crossed to the bed and sat down beside you, smoothing a hand over your hair.

“Did you sleep well?”

You adjusted the pillow. “Mmhmm.”

The words to begin the necessary conversation were right on the tip of his tongue, but then your arms curled around his neck. Lloyd was drawn into your arms and at the press of your lips, all his carefully organized thoughts scattered. His hands framed your face, thumbs sliding under your jaw to tilt your chin up. The kiss started out light, a brushing of lips, and steadily increased in pressure. When he pulled away, your eyes were dilated and you were both breathing raggedly.

“I’ve missed doing that,” you murmured, touching your swollen lips.

Lloyd groaned and kissed you deeply, enjoying your enthusiastic response. He gripped the back of your neck and held you still for a long, tender kiss, sliding his tongue against yours, then flicking and teasing, until he was rewarded by a delicate whimper of need. You gripped his shoulders and he sighed, contentment banishing the anxiety that had been riding him for the past few hours.

You mumbled something against his lips that he didn’t quite catch, but the demanding tone was clear enough. He slid his hands down from your face and gripped your waist, rubbing and squeezing at your hips in a gentle massage before moving to cradle your breasts. The distinct texture of lace was palpable through your thin blouse. He could tell it was an unlined bra by the way your puckered nipple stabbed into his palm.

You shivered and arched against his hand as you tugged him closer. Lloyd swept his thumbs over your nipples and was rewarded with a breathy moan and a delicious tremor. He groaned and allowed you to pull him down to the bed and rolled so that he was on top, straddling your hips.

His mouth never left yours. The kisses were hungry and charged with desperate need. When you began clawing at the buttons on his shirt, he undid them. Your hand sank into his chest hair, fingers twining into the sparse dusting with a purr of delight. Meanwhile, he found the fastening of your skirt, unclipped it and peeled down the zipper to access the hem of your blouse and yank it over your head.

When he saw the lacy purple bra with the front closure, he growled. You reached for the clasp but he batted your hand away.

“No.”

Your protest was silenced with a kiss and when you tried for the clasp again, he caught your wrists and raised them above your head. You whined in protest when he pinned you down, but the complaint was cut off when his tongue shoved into your mouth. He teased you with a series of thrusts and parries that elicited a soft chorus of whimpers and cries for him to enjoy before he shifted to a one handed grip on your wrists and slid his fingers under the lacy bra cups and stroked your taunt nipples.

“Oooohhh…”

Lloyd smirked. “Sensitive, Princess?”

He could feel your heartbeat hammering against your ribs. You moaned and arched when he scissored his fingers to pinch your nipple with his index and middle finger, squeezing until you gasped. Lloyd crushed his lips to yours as you undulated against him. He kissed you long and hard until you turned your head, breaking the kiss.

“Please, Lloyd, please…”

“You like it fast, don’t you, baby?”

You whined, struggling against his restraining grip. “Please…”

Lloyd chuckled. “If I let you go, you’ll start trying to undress me.”

Your pupils were blown wide and your lips were swollen from his rough kisses. Lloyd brushed his mouth lightly over yours. His smirk widened when you shuddered.

“Fuck me,” you whispered, breathless.

“Princess…” the hunger in your voice broke his self-control.

He released your wrists and unbuckled his belt. You squirmed underneath him, wiggling out of your skirt. By the time he’d gotten rid of his pants you were rolling down your thigh high stockings.

Lloyd hissed. “No, leave them on. Take off your panties unless you want me to rip them off.”

You obeyed and the second your panties were off, Lloyd moved between your legs, pressing himself against you, separated only by the thin barrier of his boxers. He felt your wetness seep through the silk and groaned.

“More, Lloyd. I need…”

He unfastened your bra and pushed it open, tweaking a pert nipple and squeezing the other breast. Your eyes rolled back, lashes fluttering as he bent to suckle at your tit. When you thrashed under him, he used his weight to hold you down as he tended to your breast. When you screamed in frustration he nipped your skin and ground his erection into your core. He could feel the scorching heat and his dick twitched, anticipating how good you’d feel wrapped around him.

“I need you inside me,” you pleaded.

“Yeah? How bad, Princess? Does it ache? Are you throbbing for me?”

You tossed your head back, making a noise that was part scream, part wail, and gyrated against him, trying to find relief.

“Someone’s naughty tonight, aren’t they? You know I’m the one who sets the pace in the bedroom, Princess. We need to work on your patience.”

You snarled, a startlingly realistic sound. Lloyd laughed and nuzzled your breasts, kissing each nipple, satisfying himself with a final suckle on each of the puckered little buds. They were still wet from his saliva but he continued to take his time and draw out your torment, enjoying the way you writhed and begged for more in disjointed, nearly unintelligible sentences.

“Fucking hell, baby. Your breasts are sensitive, aren’t they? Your pussy is gushing, you’re getting my nice silk boxers all sticky.”

You moaned, the sound faint, but raw. He recognized the pitch and knew you were getting close.

“I bet you could come just from this,” Lloyd mused, tracing the delicate tip of your breast with his tongue.

“Lloyd! Fuck, damn it…” you squirmed and fought his restraining grip.

He countered your struggles by shifting his weight to put more pressure on your hips, immobilizing you completely.

“You’re in a naughty mood tonight, Princess. I bet that aching pussy’s to blame. Ten minutes of me working on your nipples and you’re acting like an entitled brat. Let’s see what state you’re in after twenty…”

“I want you inside of me, please, please…!”

His cock thickened at your desperate cry. “You want my dick, baby?”

“Fuck me, Lloyd. I need you so bad.”

He moved his hand down to your center and stroked the delicate skin of your inner thighs, making you shiver.

“Hmmm… your thighs aren’t trembling yet. I love it when they do that. What if I gave you my fingers, Princess?”

Lloyd released your wrists and eased back, this time using both hands to caress your thighs. You keened when he ghosted his thumbs over the outer lips of your pussy and slipped them inside to spread you open, exposing your sex to his gaze.

“Let’s try that before I give you my dick, yeah? A nice round of fingering to get you warmed up?”

“I’m… warmed… up… damn it!” you were panting as he teased your clit.

He didn’t touch it directly, but took advantage of knowing the underside of your clit was your most sensitive area and stroked the vulnerable spot.

“I can see that, Princess. Your clit’s nice and puffy from grinding on my boxers, getting ‘em all messy with your pussy juice.”

He slid down to lay flat on the mattress and lowered his head to your core. For a moment, he just breathed on your clit and watched you tremble in excitement. Lloyd licked his lips, imagining the sharp flavor of you, tart and tangy on his tongue. You were sobbing, asking him to fuck you, to use his fingers, to give you his cock. It was music to his ears.

There was nothing hotter than the breathless cries of a woman desperate for pleasure. He closed his eyes and sealed his lips around your clit, listening to the sounds you made, allowing them to direct him. You were gasping, offering strained whimpers, choked moans that dissolved into senseless babble, which told him you were really, really close. When he heard the urgent litany of cries, he released your clit. You screamed and twisted as your hips chased the pleasure he’d taken away. Lloyd pinned you down with both hands, forcing you to be still.

“I thought you wanted dick, Princess? Do you? Or do you want to come on my tongue?”

Your response was incoherent. Taking pity on you, he slid a finger in your pussy. When the powerful muscles clenched around the digit, his balls tightened.

“Fuck, that’s hot. Literally - your pussy’s burning up, sweetheart. It’s throbbing already and trying to suck me in deep. Ah… good girl. That’s it. Spread your legs.”

He inserted a second finger and watched as your face creased with pleasure. You were so wet that he had no qualms about adding a third finger. The soft, spongy walls stretched to accommodate him and you keened.

“Open your eyes, Princess. Look at how good you’re taking my fingers. Your pussy’s so soft for me, fucking welcoming, isn’t she? Watch.”

Lloyd adjusted the angle, reaching past your g-spot, and probing for the deep area that would make your toes curl. The effect was instant - your breath caught, air hissed out of your lungs, and your thighs trembled. His cock was leaking in his boxers and his balls were aching, but the sight, the sounds, they were too good for him to heed the demands of his body.

He eased his fingers lower and teased your g-spot. When you were shivering, right on the brink of release, he shoved the digits deep, returning to the spot that affected you so intensely, mixing up the pleasure points so that you couldn’t get off. He was amazed at how receptive you were to the deep penetration.

Your expression was one of utter bliss, with your lips parted on a needy whine, your eyelids half-closed, and your forehead creased in rapture. When he retreated to stroke your g-spot some more your legs jerked, trying to close and protect the vulnerable area.

“Ah, ah… Princess. Naughty. Bad girl, you keep those knees apart or I’ll spank you.”

“S-s-sorry,” you gasped, tears streaming down your cheeks.

He rubbed your inner thigh, loving the way your muscles quivered under his fingers. It echoed the frantic clenching of your pussy. His thumb teased your clit and you shrieked, throwing your head back and bracing your arms behind you as your back arched off the bed. Lloyd pressed harder, rubbing your clit in firm circles. As he expected, your thighs seized, trying to push him away as the pleasure became overwhelming. He pressed your knee down and forced your legs to remain open.

You screamed, bucking against his hand. He was relentless. Your arms gave way and you crumpled to the bed, falling flat on your back.

“What’s wrong baby? Can’t handle my fingers? Do you want me to stop?”

“No! No, no, please, please, Lloyd!”

He kissed you fiercely, then eased into a slower tempo, gentling the kiss. You whimpered and clawed at his shoulders in a silent request for more. When he broke away, your eyes were filled with tears and wet tracks marred your cheeks. He kissed them and murmured.

“Poor baby. Can’t get off from me sucking your nipples, couldn’t come when I suckled your puffy little clit, and now you’re running away from my fingers. I don’t think you really want to come…”

“Please, I need you inside of me. Fuck me, damn it!”

He groaned, cock twitching, and rubbed your hip to soothe you.

“Are you gonna keep your legs open, Princess? Or will I have to take you over my knee?”

“Lloyd, don’t tease me, I can’t take anymore. I need you now. Right now!”

You broke down in tears and he drew you to his chest, kissing you as you sobbed.

“Okay, okay, it’s okay, Princess. I won’t tease you anymore.” He squeezed the fleshy part of your inner thigh. “Turn around, get on your hands and knees, and put your ass in the air.”

You scrambled to obey, going on all fours and positioning yourself like he’d requested - almost.

“I told you to put your ass in the air,” Lloyd said.

“It is!”

He realized you hadn’t understood the request. Moving behind you, he cupped your breasts and pinched your nipples, rolling them between his thumb and index finger. You pushed your hips back into his, whining. Lloyd tugged on your nipples, pulling them. You gasped and arched, lowering your chest to ease the sting. He used your nipples to guide your chest to the bed.

“That’s it,” he praised. “Put your ass up, honey. Just like that. Stretch your arms out. Reach toward the headboard.”

When you moved, your chest came off the bed. Lloyd pressed his palm between your shoulder blades and growled, “Princess…”

“What?!”

Your ass lowered and he jerked it back into position.

“Chest down, ass up,” he growled. “You stay just like this, or you’ll have a sore ass and raw nipples tomorrow morning.”

To emphasize the point, he smacked your ass lightly. You raised your hips and lowered your chest into the correct form. Lloyd traced the curve of your spine and admired the deep arch of your back.

“Now, how hard was that? Not too bad, huh? It’s easy to be a good girl. All you need to do is hold this position, sweetheart. I’ll do all the work.”

He dipped his fingers in your sex, circling your g-spot, and then sank the digits as far as he could reach. Your back arched into an even lower position at the sensation and he knew you were ready.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lloyd’s threat of giving you a sore ass and raw nipples echoed in your mind. You knew exactly what he meant by the latter because the other night you’d opened his nightstand drawer to borrow some lip balm and found the toys.

A bullet vibrator and a thick, curved stainless steel rod that you’d had to examine before realizing it was a dildo, were inside. In a small wooden box behind them, you’d found an anal plug and a fancy pair of nipple clamps. You’d slammed the drawer shut and forgotten all about borrowing his lip balm. Though you’d tried to put the matter out of your head, the nipple clamps had ignited your curiosity. You’d been wondering what they’d feel like for the past twenty-four hours.

Lloyd rubbed your lower back as he lined up your bodies. The broad head of his cock breached your opening, easily parting the slick, delicate tissues. His thrusts were slow as he invaded you inch by inch, making sure you could feel every ridge and vein. Even though you were soaked, the stretch was intense. Every part of your body was pulsating with need until the lust was a force of its own. When Lloyd eased back, you pressed your elbows into the mattress and rocked against him. His hands tightened on your waist, hips forcing you to stop.

“Lloyd,” you whimpered.

“I told you, Princess. Chest down, ass up, stay. Your chest isn’t down, is it?”

You groaned, feeling the heavy crest of his erection drag against your insides as he pulled out until just the tip was left.

“It’s not hard, is it, Princess?”

“Lloyd… don’t stop!”

You lowered your chest and extended your arms, assuming the correct position.

He leaned forward, and for a moment you thought he was going to use his body weight to pin you down, but he grabbed the handle of the nightstand drawer.

“You’re being a bad girl again. I warned you, Princess.”

You moaned at the sight of the silver nipple clamps, connected by a thin chain. Lloyd hauled you up and drew your back flush against his chest. He nuzzled your neck and rubbed the cool metal over your nipple, letting you feel it.

“What do you think, Princess? Do you want to try something new?”

“Yes.”

“You’re sure?” Lloyd murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.

“I want to try it.”

He squeezed your breast and guided the clamp over the nipple, opening the claw and teasing you. Goosebumps rose on your arms.

“Ready, Princess?”

You nodded and the clamp snapped shut. Pain raced straight to your core and you both groaned at the clench of your pussy.

“How does it feel?” he asked.

“It hurts!”

“Good.”

When he lifted your other breast, rolling your the puckered nipple to prepare it for its punishment, you assumed you knew what was coming. However, instead of a sharp sting, this clamp hurt worse. You lurched back, slamming into Lloyd’s chest. Immediately, you reached for the clamp, but he caught your wrist.

“No, don’t. Breathe, Princess. Deep breaths, that’s it.”

Tears swam in your eyes as he coached you. His hands stroked your body and the distraction of the calloused palms rubbing your waist and hips eased the pain. Suddenly, your breasts felt heavy and plump, despite the uncomfortable bite of the clamps.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” Lloyd grunted.

You became aware of the flood between your legs and realized juices had dripped down your inner thighs. He thrust hard, seating himself deep in a single advance. This time instead of pushing your chest down, he grasped your wrists and used the leverage to force you to arch your back. His next thrust made you shudder.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmured.

His thrusts made the clamps rattle, their weight tugging on your breasts and triggering a wave of pain. You cried out.

“Easy, let me make it better.”

Lloyd reached between your legs, his fingers dipping into your folds and stroking your clit.

Instantly, the pain from your nipples faded, replaced by a fierce wave of pleasure. You clenched around him and the rough sound of male desire it elicited from Lloyd had you quivering, on edge. He rocked in and out, keeping his fingers moving on your clit to distract you from the searing pain of the clamps.

“Hold on, Princess.”

That was your only warning before he impaled himself deep, the head of his cock pressing at the entrance to your womb. You shuddered, gasping when his thrusts grew rougher and harder. Fire sizzled across your skin, the sensations racing up your spine until your entire body rippled. Lloyd’s grip on your wrists tightened as you twisted in a moment of ecstasy.

He growled. “Don’t round your back, Princess. I wanna go deep… come on, be a good girl and arch for me.”

You moaned and tried to meet his demand but your body was reacting, writhing and squirming of its own accord as he rooted himself so deep that you saw stars.

“Aaahhh! Lloyd!”

He jerked your wrists, forcing you to lower your shoulders, and jostling the clamps. You squealed and Lloyd growled in response. Your reaction seemed to spur him into action. Suddenly his deep, powerful thrusts were making the headboard rattle against the wall. It was so deep. In seconds, you were shaking on the edge of orgasm and the sensation of the nipple clamps had dulled to a pleasureable tightness.

Lloyd drew back, the width of his cock stroking over all your tender spots, before pausing at your entrance, leaving just the tip inside. You gasped as he slammed into you hard, burying himself all the way in a brutal thrust that made you scream. He shifted his hands higher, moving his grip from your wrists to just above your elbows. Held in this fashion, you were prevented from retreating or twisting away when the head of his cock ground into your g-spot.

Involuntary undulations rippled through your muscles, each invasion causing your channel to squeeze as it tried to entrap him. Each time they failed, your pussy reacted to the next thrust as a fresh chance to lock him in a vice grip. The sizzling pain from the nipple clamps acted like a conductor, carrying the sensations from your core and spreading them through your whole body. Violent waves of pleasure encompassed every muscle and nerve you possessed.

Lloyd grasped the chain that connected the nipple clamps and tugged. You screamed. He grunted, panting as he increased the pace, pounding you even harder. His teeth scraped against your shoulder and the flash of pain made you quiver. You could feel the orgasm approaching and knew it would be more powerful than anything you’d experienced before. A ripple of fear passed through your dazed mind, questioning if you could survive something so intense or if you’d disintegrate.

“That’s it, Princess. Good girl, squeezing my cock, taking me deep… ah, fuck!”

He swirled his fingers on your clit, thrusting faster, making the clamps rattle. Each impalement made you cry, until unintelligible words were all you could manage. He was rooted so deep, your nipples hurt so bad, yet at the same time, they felt so good… his fingers were tormenting your clit… you couldn’t catch your breath, it was too much…

The orgasm stole your breath. When you collapsed, Lloyd’s grip was the only thing that kept you from crushing the nipple clamps into the mattress. Your legs trembled, jerking and twisting as your muscles spasmed and pleasure turned you into its puppet. You were only vaguely aware of Lloyd’s release. You wouldn’t have noticed, except that the rush of wetness against your cervix triggered another, smaller orgasm. The second climax soothed the brutality of the first, easing your muscles from shaking into quivering. Slowly, your pussy relaxed its vise grip and your sex began pulsating with soft flutters that were as sweet as they were intense.

Lloyd rolled onto his side, taking you with him. One brawny arm curled around your waist as he wrapped himself around you like a human blanket. You whimpered, caught in the vestiges of climax still wracking your body. Lloyd held you tight and murmured soothing words that your frazzled mind couldn’t comprehend.

You felt disjoined from reality. The strongest sensation was the throbbing, molten heat, that pulsed between your legs - everything else seemed dulled and faint in comparison. You would have been content to lay boneless in Lloyd’s arms forever, but after a few moments he separated your bodies. The sticky trickle of liquid down your thigh made you stir, but physical exhaustion was stronger than discomfort. Lloyd nuzzled your shoulder.

He said something and even though you heard him, your brain just… refused to process. Then he was pulling you into his chest and arranging your legs across his thighs. His arm supported your back and your head fell limply against his neck.

“Princess… Come on, Princess. Open your eyes,” Lloyd purred, stroking your cheek.

“Tired...”

“I bet you are, but I have to take off those clamps, sweetheart.”

Your lashes fluttered. The dull throb of the nipple clamps wasn’t so unpleasant any more.

“They’re okay.”

“It’s better if I take them off now.”

“M’kay…”

You were so lost in the afterglow that you didn’t care what he did.

“This’ll hurt,” Lloyd warned, his fingers brushing the side of your breast.

Perhaps if you hadn’t been so relaxed, you would’ve been more concerned. When he opened the right clamp, you weren’t prepared. You shrieked, almost lurching out of his lap.

“Ow, ow, ow! Fuck! Fucking hell, damn it, holy shit…!”

Lloyd caught you when you tried to crawl away. He wrapped both arms around your waist and hauled you against his chest. You let him hold you, but hissed when he palmed your stinging nipple, rubbing it briskly.

“I know, it hurts. Let me rub it out.”

The sensation was intense, a blend of pleasure and pain that confused you.

“Ready for the other one?” he asked.

“No!”

“It has to come off, and it’ll hurt worse later.”

You grit your teeth.

“Fine, do it!”

His lips brushed your temple. “Deep breath… three, two, one-”

“Aaaaahh!”

Tears spilled down your cheeks.

“It’s okay,” Lloyd murmured, already stroking it, rubbing circulation back into the flesh.

He kissed your shoulder. “You did so good, Princess. Did you like the clamps? Hate them?”

“Yes.”

Lloyd chuckled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Considering your limited sexual history, Lloyd planned to spend more time than he normally would have on aftercare. What he didn’t anticipate was that you’d snuggled into his chest and fall asleep two minutes after he’d rubbed the blood flow back into your nipples. Figuring that it was probably the thought that counted, and cuddling was still a form of aftercare, he stayed in bed and held you while you slept. It was just past eight o’clock and he wasn’t tired, but he lay there and let the sound of your steady breath relax him. He let his mind drift.

His thoughts returned to Shun Nguyen.

Lloyd’s arms tightened around you, wondering why he hadn’t seen it himself. Nguyen was walking a red flag. Why had he let you speak with him alone for the second interview? The man had direct knowledge of his girlfriend’s murder and highly credible domestic violence accusations. Lloyd had put you in a room with him anyways; now you were being stalked. You snuffled in your sleep, mumbling. Lloyd stroked the length of your spine until you settled against him. He needed to wake you up and feed you, but he didn’t have the heart to do it yet. You’d been through a lot today.

He should be more careful with you. In the dark, quiet room the weight of his mistakes, of his errors in judgment, felt closer than ever. The communication problems you were having… those were probably his fault, too. He needed to mend the rift in your friendship and earn your trust again. Granted, he couldn’t tell you that he had every intention of killing Shun Ngueyn when the opportunity presented itself. When he did, he wasn’t going to be stupid about it. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize himself or cause you distress. Thinking about your distress made him uncomfortable.

Why had he gone for the nipple clamps tonight? They were hardly a beginner friendly choice. The bullet vibrator would’ve been more appropriate, but he’d been curious to see what effect a little pain would have on your pleasure. Choosing the clamps wasn’t his only error in judgment tonight. Even if the intense orgasm that unraveled you in the end was something rare and beautiful, the position he’d put you in had been too dominating.

Lloyd tried to focus on the positives, reminding himself that you’d trusted him. You had consented to the clamps and didn’t that prove how deep your trust ran?

But he hadn’t let you bail out when the second clamp hurt. He’d pushed your limits without asking for permission. Lloyd closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. He didn’t want to take advantage of you. If he did, it would be by accident, but he needed to be careful. In the future, he had to slow down and make sure he only used toys that suited your experience level.

Guilt seared his conscience. The emotion, like anxiety, wasn’t one he usually suffered from. Feeling guilty was one of his triggers for rage, so he tried to explore the emotion and search out its roots.

You’d trusted him tonight and now he was feeling unworthy of it. The lack of communication when you’d chosen not to tell him about your stalker… that must have come from a lack of trust. You didn’t think he could remain calm and help you instead of flying off the handle. Your behavior suggested that your trust in him was more physical than emotional.

He frowned, astonished by the revelation. You were his closest friend. He trusted you with his feelings… No, that wasn’t true.

He hadn’t told you about his estrangement from Joe. He hadn’t told you about helping Elliot get into rehab or seeing his ex-girlfriend when he was in Idaho. He hadn’t told you that he had sisters or that his mother had abandoned him and left him that horrible box of cassette tapes. He hadn’t told you that his father used to lock him under the tack room floorboards in a sunken coffin. You knew a lot about him - more than anyone else did - but not enough. The root of his guilt was suddenly clear. You weren’t communicating with him because you didn’t trust him. What had seemed like a failure to communicate ran much deeper.

He hadn’t done anything to earn the level of trust he was expecting from you.

His chest tightened, compressing with each beat of his heart. He wanted to address the problem but at the same time he was afraid of making a mistake and unraveling the delicate threads of your relationship. What if those delicate threads were already fraying, and he was just now noticing it? Something had to be done. Retreating wasn’t an option. Your friendship would never be enough for him again, not after having you as his lover. At the same time, he couldn’t bear the thought of tethering you to him and stifling your freedom.

Was there a balance that accommodated both of your needs?

Claiming you as his own would be selfish. Lloyd stared at the ceiling, trying to work out what he wanted. Monogamy, a shared home, your complete, unhesitating trust - those were the desires surged to the forefront of his mind. In a word, he wanted commitment.

Commitment.

The word churned his stomach. Lloyd couldn’t help the revulsion that welled up at the idea. He couldn’t stop the revulsion anymore than he could prevent himself from yearning for it. He repeated the phrase in his mind, as if exposure could resolve his phobia.

Commitment.

Lloyd shut his eyes. He did the breathing exercises again, but this time the anxiety refused to loose its grip.

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Masterlist

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Next - Chapter XXII

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The Princess - Tag List:

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