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lokiandbuckysdoll · 5 days
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Would you do bucky x plus size reader with “don't be shy now, sit on my face” & bucky gets angry/feral that she’s denying him what he wants? Like maybe he has to somehow force her to do it? Thanks, love ur writing!!!😘
I hope this was okay! And thank you so much, I really appreciate that!
Bucky Barnes x Reader; plus size!reader, f receiving oral sex, face sitting, slight smothering
ANY HATE WILL BE DELETED THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE DON'T LIKE, DON'T INTERACT; MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+
Bucky was laying in the bed naked, hands behind his head, waiting for you after a shower. He grinned at you as you stood next to the bed, a towel held up in front of you, trying to decide how best to curl up to him.
"Don't by shy now, sit on my face," Bucky said playfully, mismatched hands reaching out for you, but you dodged them, only managing to grab your towel from you.
"Bucky! Stop, that's sweet, but no," you shook your head, hand out for your towel.
"Doll," he growled, leaning up on one elbow, grip firm on your towel. "I said, 'sit, on my face. Don't think I can make that any clearer than if I grabbed you and sat you on my face myself. I will if that's what it takes, I'm just making sure you know that."
"Bucky, please, be serious," you huffed, sitting down next to him on the bed.
"Alright, guess we're doing it my way," Bucky grumbled and sat up, his arms bulging as he lifted you farther back onto the bed, turning you over to your knees and getting you to straddle his hips. You grinned, thinking you were going to ride him, but then his hands were digging into your ass, pushing you until you had no choice but to stumble forwards on your knees, all the way up to his face.
"Bucky, I'm not sitting on your face, I'll suffocate you or break your nose, or both, knowing me." Bucky just glared up at you, pushing you up until your pussy was directly above him.
His hands slid up your thick thighs, spread around his head, wrapping his arms around them and pushing at your stomach until you had to bend, his strength far greater than yours.
"Bucky!" you cried, but he ignored you, pulling on your thighs until you were hovering inches from his mouth. He breathed hotly on your pussy, then slowly stuck his tongue out and licked your folds. Your body shuddered and you fell forwards against the headboard, grasping it as Bucky growled, and yanked you hard.
The headboard creaked as it swayed, then thunked back against the wall when you lost your grip, falling onto Bucky's face.
His reaction was instantaneous. He became a man possessed, face completely pressed into your pussy, sucking and licking, pulling you even harder onto him.
You couldn't help it, you moaned as you ground yourself down onto Bucky. You tried to lift off to let him breathe, but he wouldn't let go of you, letting himself be smothered for a moment, his hips twitching.
Bucky let you press up for about two seconds, before he was pulling you back down, slurping at your cunt like it was the best thing he'd ever had and would never get his fill of it.
"Bucky! I- oh fuck, I'm gonna come," you warned, and tried to raise up again, but he held on, determined to wait you out. He thrust his tongue into your pussy then swirled it around your clit, sucking and biting lightly.
Your thighs shook, pressed tight around his head, muffling his hearing, but he could still make out the sounds of you moaning, his favorite sound.
You shook as you came, thighs squeezing Bucky's head tight, making his eyes roll back as he came too, shooting across his stomach and chest as he drank you down.
Bucky finally let you up, and you slumped to the side, legs still wrapped around his head, resting more on his broad chest now.
"That...is why you sit, doll," Bucky panted, metal hand slapping your thigh lightly.
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 5 days
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Are you normal or does the slightest criticism make you feel like throwing up, makes you sweat uncontrollably and your face feel like it's burning?
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 6 days
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My reaction throughout the whole fic 😂
I love it! 💗
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Inspired by this post with @flesh--amnesiacunrated
Softly Railing Romanoff: Steve x YN x Natasha
Summary: You walk in on Steve and Natasha mid-coital. They invite you to join them.
Contains: Sub!Steve, Soldier!Steve, military kink, Mean Dom!Nat, Dom!Y/N, female-on-female, threesome, verbal degradation kink.
Words: 6,600
A/N: Clear your schedule and your brain for this one, folks.
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You cricked your neck to one side, rubbing the tense muscle as you walked towards the lounge room on your shared floor. Your shadow stretched out behind you, lengthened by the low lights typical of this time of the night in the tower, programmed into the mainframe and happening immediately before the friendly-yet-dystopian night time announcement by Stark’s favourite AI.
Six months in the tower, and it still gave you the creeps.
The eerie silence on the floor didn’t help. You had no idea bare feet could echo like that.
All you needed was the sensation of your back sinking into the oversized corner sofa, supported and safe. Closing your eyes. For just a moment….
You heard something.
Whispers.
Giggles.
Breathing.
You rounded the corner and ambled into the hallowed lounge to be greeted by the sight of Steve Rogers softly railing Natasha Romanoff on the plush charcoal grey couch. Natasha wore her trademark black tank top, jeans pulled down just enough to let him in. He leaned over her, one hand pressing into the sofa’s top for leverage, a leg outspread for balance. Bare buttocks heaved back and forth as he entered her, arse visible above those damn chinos.
You didn’t breathe.
You didn’t move.
You didn’t want to.
Nat cast a sultry glance towards you, smirking. As though she was expecting you.
The gasp escaping your lips caused Steve to look up, reflexively reaching for a cushion and shielding the assassin’s hip, as though you hadn’t seen him inside her mere moments earlier.
“I’m s-so sorry, oh God, I…” You shook your head and turned, not hearing the whispers behind you. Or the rapid fastening of trousers. Nor the footsteps. By the time you reached the doorway, a deep timbre stopped you.
“Hey, err…”
As you turned, the sight of Steve Rogers leaning on the doorframe, biceps flexing beneath a white SSR t-shirt, was unfairly hot.
“If you want…. I mean, only if you want….” He shook his head, shyly looking at the floor like a man who had never held a conversation with a woman, rather than the super soldier with a cock still hard from his evening balls-deep in a Russian spy. He fixed his thumbs in his belt loops. “You can, err…. you can join us.”
Behind him, Natasha held up a hand, fingertips fluttering in an impossibly sensual wave. She glanced at the plush furniture and back up to you, fire in her gaze. “Plenty of room.”
Well fuck it you only live once.
Albeit this might kill me, but it’s a better way to go than being disembowelled on a mission by one of the big three, so…. fuck it.
In the energy of a gentleman rather than the sex pest he feared you now viewed him as, the blond snaked his arm around your waist, guiding you back into the room.
“Oh come on,” Natasha purred, sensing your silent judgement. “It’s just our way to let off a little steam after a mission.”
“We were just training today. No mission.” You frowned.
She leaned forward, voice husky. “Well I guess we’re training for post-mission decompression.”
“Nice save.” A laugh scoffed up from the depths of your throat.
The redhead’s lips tugged up into a soft smile as she stood, placing her arms around you and whispering, “You know I was hoping you’d say yes.” Affectionately, she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Rogers and me, we use a safe word. So if - ”
“Nat I know what a safe word is.”
She flashed a smile that could end wars.
Or start one.
“Course you do, beautiful.”
“It’s umm…” you stalled. “Tesseract.”
The soldier raised his eyebrows, gaze cast to the side as he casually clasped his hands in front of him.
“Hey.” A gentle finger guided your attention back to her. Impossibly honeyed tones reeled you in. “Eyes on me, beautiful.”
“Nat…. I’m…. I’m so tired,” you whispered.
“I know, baby. C’mon.” Her fingers interlaced with yours as she walked you to the sofa. “You trained hard today. You’re doing so well. Isn’t that right, Rogers?”
“Yeah. Yeah, she’s - ” He corrected himself as he shifted his attention from Natasha to you, smiling softly. “You’re doing great.”
“Thanks guys.” You sighed as your back finally sunk into the plush sofa you had craved so deeply.
“Yeah…” Natasha practically moaned the word, a lean leg in a half-roundhouse as she brought one foot onto the sofa. The other leg followed, kneeling over you in her signature pose. “Just relax for me baby.” Her tone was softer than you’d ever heard. You had seen her skillset in action in training roleplays. How she used her sexuality to gather intelligence. You had seen it up close. This wasn’t it. Your eyes fell shut as the backs of her fingers traced your cheek. Her head turned rapidly as she heard a footstep. Steve was stood beside you. “Not today, soldier.”
“Nat, come on.” He whined, his all-American lilt drawling over the final word.
“Rogers. I’ve trained you better than that.” She pointed to a space six feet from her, her eyes wide and stern, as he obediently shuffled into position. The backs of his knees touched the L-shaped sofa.
He stood to attention, hands clasped behind his back with military discipline as he fixed his eyes forward. He spoke with authority and respect. “Yes Ma’am.” A strong right arm came up to his brow in solute, before returning to his side, and behind his back.
It seemed unfair. How close had he been to the edge, you wondered, before you interrupted their tryst? And now he’s standing to attention, watching, banned from touching either of you, and presumably himself.
Brutal.
A sharp intake of breath happened reflexively as soft lips met your neck, gentle hands cradling your face. Soft kisses peppered your jawline, your clavicle, your lips. She whispered. “You gotta tell me if you’re not comfortable, if you wanna stop…. alright?”
“Mmmm.”
Her right hand rubbed your shoulder, grip becoming firmer under tense muscles. As she kissed you, thumbs worked into the tight fibres of muscle between your shoulders and neck. “What do I keep telling you about not tensing up when you’re shooting, hmm?”
“I’m s-sorry, Nat.”
“Don’t be.” She chuckled, nimble fingers working the hem of your tank top from black leggings. She pulled it over your head. “Quick question.” She slurped kisses on your chest between words. “Oh but you do not have to answer.” She whispered in one ear as she turned to your guest, dutifully standing to attention. He was already hard. “Do you want Roger’s shirt on or off?”
You followed her gaze. Head tilted. “Off, please.”
“You heard the lady, Rogers.”
“Yes Ma’am.” As if following orders, he robotically removed his shirt, folding it swiftly and neatly beside him, before returning to his position, hands clasped behind his back, eyes focused forward. Eyes that definitely, absolutely, totally didn’t wander to the two of you when you weren’t looking.
He was an Adonis. Smooth skin. Perfectly formed muscles. Large shoulders. Proud chest. Defined abdominals.
Natasha chuckled. “You know I won’t be mad if you stare at him instead of me.”
“I mean, it’s…. it’s fucking ridiculous.”
“Isn’t it?” She trailed the tip of her tongue up the side of your neck, inhaling before sighing. “God, baby…. You smell so good. You always smell so good.”
Your head drowned in sensations, from the softness of her hair under your fingertips as you cradled the back of her head, to the trail of tingles left by her hands as they trailed down your chest and stomach. Eager fingers toyed with the hem of your leggings.
Natasha Romanoff wanted to work her way into your pants.
You weren’t about to stop her.
You pressed your head back into the sofa, chest pressed forward as she kissed your neck, one hand cradling your face gently, the other skilfully moving your underwear to the side.
“As much as I’d love to think this is all for me….” deft fingers trailed through your folds, slick under her affections. She cocked her head to the solider, standing to attention. “…something tells me it’s shared.”
You stared down Steve in unison. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his forehead. He swallowed. He locked eyes with you. Desperate. Pleading. Biceps flexed, indicating he was toying with something behind his back. A cushion, rolling it, squeezing it, keeping it hidden, his sole distraction during the erotic torment you both inflicted.
He stood, torn between the dutiful soldier bound to obey orders, and the ordinary man desperate for release.
You moaned offensively, back arching in spite of yourself, as you realised Natasha was on her knees in between your legs, her tongue swirling circles around your sensitive nub. From your vantage point, you saw piercing green eyes look up at you, silently asking. You gave one nod. She slipped her fingers inside you, picking up the pace of her tongue as you squirmed beneath her. Your attention returned to Steve. His resolve was slipping, his hips shifting from side to side in the hopes the thick corduroy would provide a modicum of friction.
It didn’t.
His small whines were barely perceptible over your moans as your colleague worked you into a writhing, whimpering mess. “Come on, baby,” she whispered. “Let go for me.”
Steve’s cushion of distraction was in front of him now, clutching it to his chest and grimacing. For a millisecond, you were sure he would bite it. He squirmed as you came undone beneath Natasha, moaning her name as heat rushed through your body. Your eyes remained on the soldier as you lost control.
“GOD!”
A violent rip of fabric interrupted your vocal crescendo as feathers filled the air, gently tumbling down and covering you all.
Steve had torn the cushion in two.
One strong arm brushed his hair back, smoothing down his arms and his chest as the cushion’s contents kissed clammy skin. As his hands returned to his military position behind his back, he brushed his arm past his cock. Impulsively, he sucked in air through his teeth at the brief yet intentional contact. Yourself and Natasha busied yourselves brushing feathers from each other, attention nowhere near the soldier. He would have got away with it. If it wasn’t for the gasp.
Natasha rolled her eyes, her mutterings for you alone. “Impatient little son of a bitch.” Firm hands gripped her own knees, rising to standing. “Excuse me a second baby,” she purred with a sweet smile. “ROGERS!” Her bark made even you jump. Her petite frame rooted powerfully in front of him, a raised hand with an accusatory finger pointing. “Really, Rogers? I let you join us, I’m sweet, I let you watch… and you repay me with disrespect.” Her volume lowered, a gravelled whisper like melted caramel over scree.
She stepped back. Arms folded. “On the floor.”
Two seconds later. “NOW!”
“Y-yes Ma’am.”
Steve Rogers knelt on all floors like a dog on the common room carpet a mere six feet in front of you.
Natasha circled him like a shark. She tapped his hand with the side of her foot. “Elbows.” In a heartbeat, he obediently lowered himself down onto his forearms, the new position displaying his ass in the air.
“C’mon, baby.” She smiled sweetly, inviting you over, wrapping an arm around your waist once you were beside her. On instinct you nuzzled your head into the crook of her neck, the scent of patchouli and pepper tickling the fine hairs in your nostrils as you inhaled. Steve’s cock pulsed. Lips pressed firmly together, his attempt to supress a whimper successful. Black jeans stretched over her thighs as she kneeled, reaching down and unbuckling his pants with one hand whilst looking up at you and smirking. She frowned. “He’s already hard. Better not go too heavy on ‘im or he’ll be cumming in his corduroys.”
Laughter scoffed in your throat. Romanoff pushed his pants down to reveal bare skin. “He has a cute little ass though.” She mouthed silently at you. You spanked a man before? You nodded your confirmation. “That’s my girl,” she whispered.
Her authoritative tone reverberated through you, arms crossed as she stood. “Right Rogers, you know the drill. You disobeyed orders, you get punished. Today you get this…. goddess,” she gestured to you, her tone incredulous, “placing her hands on you. Which you don’t deserve. Do you, Rogers?” She leaned down to his face level for effect, a firm hand on his back.
“No Ma’am.”
“You’re not worthy of her, are you Rogers?”
“N-no Ma’am. Not worthy.”
Her voice projected. “So you are going to thank her.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
At Natasha’s instruction, a whispered ‘Give him ten,’ you began to strike Rogers on his bare backside using the flat of your palm. It stung your hand. You were certain it was stinging his ass. Obeying orders, he counted each of your strikes by thanking you after each one.
“Is this what you stand for, Rogers? Disobeying orders? Hmm?”
“N-no, Ma’am,” he whimpered, your palm striking an exposed buttock and eliciting a gasp.
“The best of the best? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be?”
“Y-yes Ma’am. It w-won’t happen again.”
You continued to spank him, watching with fascination as the muscles in his back flexed, his shirt mercifully remaining discarded. Romanoff kneeled, one hand on her thigh, the other reaching into his pants and roughly palming his cock. He groaned under her touch.
“Th-thank you, Ma’am.”
You had completed all ten strikes. Romanoff decided to improvise. She gestured for you to step aside as she took up position behind him.
“Yeah you’re damn right.” She arched her arm back, her strike stealing a breath from him. She upped the degradation between spanks. “That nice doctor chose you, Rogers. He thought you were a good man. Isn’t that what he told you? To keep your integrity? And here you are whoring yourself out with two agents. What would Agent Carter say if she could see you now, hmm? Would she be proud?”
“No Ma’am.” His voice sounded low. Sad.
“She’d been fucking disgusted with you, Rogers. They all would. They chose the wrong man. You’re not worthy. I’d be shocked if you could still lift Thor’s hammer.” Her strikes finished and his head lolled forward, forehead in contact with the carpet.
The room fell quiet. In the silence, you heard him sniff.
“Hey, hey….” Nat cooed, rushing to his side and placing a gentle hand on his back. “Did I go too far, Steve?”
“N-no. No, just right.” He pushed himself up, fastening up his trousers. He was still visibly hard. “I’m alright. Just….. umm….. gimme a minute.”
You frowned at Nat and mouthed, Is he okay? She gave a nod, as though she’d witnessed a similar scene before. Steve always liked to push his limits. Even Romanoff had her doubts about how far he could go. This seemed pretty close to the line.
She sat down with him, talking softly. You stepped back, feeling as though you were intruding on a private moment between friends. They talked for a couple of minutes, then Cap stood up.
“You’re sure, Steve?” Natasha said firmly. “We can stop, you’ll still get to finish – ”
“No, no,” he held up a hand in protest. I’m good. Really. Lay it on me.” He placed his hands on his hips, using the same tone he used in morning meetings. He lowered his chin. “And don’t pull any punches.”
She cocked her head and looked to you. “You heard the man, baby.” You grinned, powerless to hide your excitement.
“So you, err…. you want me to lay down?” He pointed to the sofa tentatively.
Natasha winked at Steve before turning up her act up to full volume.
“No, you lazy son of a bitch.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re gonna make this lady” she gestured to yourself, feigning exasperation, “feel like a million bucks, or you don’t get to finish. Got it?”
“Oh. Oh I see.” A shy smile made his cheeks dimple, appreciating his teammate for increasing the heat. She trusted his strength. He couldn’t ask for a bigger compliment. He thought about the next act in your sexual play and smiled. “Mmm hmm.” He bit down on his lip. You almost moaned on sight. “And, err….” he looked up at you, eyes glazed with primal need. “What if I wanted to do that anyway? To make her feel like a million bucks? Would that be permitted?” He looked at Nat, then back to you, before flashing a devastating smile to punctuate his point.
“Just make her happy, soldier,” the Russian purred.
“Yes Ma’am.”
Before you could elicit a squeak, the backs of your legs made contact with the sofa, an imposing figure towering over you, blocking out the light and interrupting your cognitive function. The fresh, expensive scent of him overpowered you.
In a deep tone you could feel in the heart of you, he gave his polite yet authoritative command.
“I’m gonna need you to lay down, Ma’am.”
You felt the soft couch underneath your back as you lowered yourself down, Steve straddling you, arms either side of your head. “If you’re not okay with this, you just gotta say, alright?” The low, gentle tone of his voice laced with authority. You tingled from your crown to your toes. He raised up onto his hands, cocking his head as he looked as you. Really looked at you. He smiled wryly, shaking his head in disbelief. “God you’re beautiful.” Two large hands held your face as he kissed you slowly. Intimately. In every way he knew you craved. Those same hands sliding down your side, inching up your tank top, lips scattering kisses over your tummy, hands holding you in place. You couldn’t have escaped if you wanted to.
You absolutely, resolutely, didn’t want to.
Tender, soft lips tickled your skin, exploring every line of your stomach, while trembling hands unbuttoned your jeans. Softly, he began to trail his fingertips down between open legs. “You feel so good,” he whispered, nuzzling kisses into your neck as he pleasured you with his hands. “I knew you would feel so good.”
Earnest kisses carved a trail up your stomach, over your chest and clavicle, your vest rolled up, hooked by the nook between his thumb and index finger, one hand cradling your head, lifting you enough to free your top and slide it over your head between gently placing you back down as he whispered, “You’re okay. You’re okay.”
One strong hand rested on your shoulder, massaging you in an attempt to control himself, the other hand returning to touching you intimately. You looked down, seeing only the top of a crest of blond hair. He looked up, meeting your eyes. A shy smile flashed across fair skin, cheeks dimpling.
“Tell me if this hurts, okay?”
You grinned. “I’ve, erm…. I’ve done this before, Steve. But that is very sweet.”
“He’s different,” Natasha chimed in, standing mere feet from you, arms crossed and legs in a wide stance. “You’ll see,” she punctuated her promise with a knowing smirk.
At a cautious pace, his finger entered you, brows knitted tightly as he examined your face for any signs of discomfort. When he saw only pleasure, deliciously slowly, he moved his digit in and out of you, skillfully catching your clit with his thumb on each entry. He smiled reassuringly, before lowering his face to you, brushing your lips with his. “You’re beautiful.” Sure, certain kisses pressed into your jaw, carving another trail, this time down your neck, where he stayed. He fingers continued to pleasure you. You writhed beneath him.
“More, please Steve,” you whispered into his ear. Slowly, as you granted permission, he added a second digit to his gentle erotic assault. His face remained nuzzled in your neck, shaky breath so close to your ear. Your hand found the nape of his neck, hair short there, yet soft. Your fingertips massaged where the tight muscles of his neck met his hairline. You added fingernails, grazing lightly over the delicate skin. He groaned.
The back of your head pressed down into the softness of the sofa as he worked his two digits in and out of you…. in….. and out…. in….. and out…
It continued for an age, pleasuring you with his fingers until, tentatively, he added a third. He stilled, pressing his lips to yours. He ceased the gentle thrust of his hand. In its place, he deftly twisted his wrist ninety degrees, the sensation unbearably subtle. The arousal practically gushing from you and coating his fingers, not so much.
It was too much for you.
“Fucks sake, Steve!”
“Language,” he chuckled softly before he nipped the soft skin blow your ear, the tone of his voice making shivers run over your shoulders and sprint down your chest. He whispered in your ear, “I’m gonna take this real slow, alright?” He sighed at the thought of the feeling of you around him, the warmth around his fingers unbearable. His sigh tickled your neck.
Painfully slowly, he removed his fingers from you. You whined at the emptiness, prompting a low chuckle from the solider.
“I know. I know. They just…. slipped out….” His final words barely audible. You weren’t even sure he’d said them. He was looking down at his belt, hands shaky over the buckle as he released the leather strap. Muscular thighs flexed beneath sand-coloured trousers, his knees digging into the sofa. He released his belt, the light upwards movement of his hips causing the inside of his knees to pinch you in place.
“Sorry.”
His pants remained glued to his hips. He was painfully hard. The outline of his cock was overwhelming to say the least. Wide eyes found Natasha. She simply quirked her head and her lips, as though saying, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet.’
When you returned your gaze to the blond, you were met with the sight of tight, muscular hips and a hard, hard cock.
It was enormous. Long, thick. Like nothing you could possibly have prepared yourself for.
Your thoughts were a muddled mess.
That is the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.
And I’ve seen a lot of cock in my time.
To alleviate the clear distress displayed by your slack jaw and thousand-yard stare, he lowered himself onto his elbows, whispering reassurance. “I know it’s a lot…. we’ll just take it slow.” You’d never heard uncertainty like this from the Captain. If you didn’t know better, you would say he sounded almost…. embarrassed. Certainly apologetic.
His hand guided his cock towards your entrance, easing in the tip. Slowly, he entered you. He groaned with the same intensity of sinking into a hot bath after a hard battle. You felt amazing. He permitted his eyes to close for a moment and savour the sensation.
He filled you. Your eyes closed too, your neck exposing itself to him as you arched backwards, head pressing into the sofa.
“Are you okay?” he whispered with sincerity, head cocked in concern.
You nodded, before observing the furrow of his brow, tight with concentration as his elbows shook with the force of holding his form over you. How he was going to hold on, he didn’t know. He had only just entered you and he was sure he would explode. You couldn’t help but ask the same in return. “Are you okay?”
He looked down shyly, biting his lip and heavy eyelids closing. He nodded.
Without looking directly at her, you could see Natasha in your periphery. Her lips parted just so.
You couldn’t feel the rapid beat of her pulse.
You didn’t hear her sharp intake of breath.
And you certainly couldn’t sense the wetness that pooled between her legs, soaking her underwear and the seat of her jeans, the mere sight too much for her to bear.
In a movement she hoped was subtle, she took two long strides towards you as she wiped the corner of her mouth with her thumb. She kneeled at your side, the backs of her fingers grazing your cheek before sweeping a strand of hair behind your ear. Natasha glanced towards Steve. His arms trembled under the force of his own bodyweight, obscenely large shoulders flexing in places you didn’t know muscles existed. His physique defied biology.
You both watched in fascination as the muscles in his lower abs flexed as he begin thrusting into you, predictably glacial in his pace.
Natasha whispered in your ear while he worked you.
“What does it feel like to have greatness inside of you?” At any other time, you would have stifled a laugh. Not now. Your head was empty, filled solely with the thought of being filled with Steve’s appendage.
He moaned. Natasha couldn’t help but notice you didn’t. She reached down, circling your clit as Steve railed you. A throaty, primal moan escaped your throat like an exorcism, back arching.
Honeyed tones invaded your ear. “How does it feel being softly railed by the most righteous man in the galaxy?”
It felt fucking phenomenal.
A choked sob of frustration left the soldier biting his lip. You felt too good, too warm, too tight….. and he couldn’t let go until you did. Romanoff ramped up the pace.
“You’re being railed by Rogers right now, beautiful.” She circled your clit with haste. “You know how many women have had the privilege, hmm? You’re being fucked by a living legend… an icon… a hero…. an Avenger…..” You didn’t think it was possible to actually purr the word Avenger, but Natasha Romanoff nailed it.
“N-Natasha,” Steve stuttered. “W-what about N-Natasha.”
Your head lolled to the left. Intuitively, you knew what he was trying to say. And in an instant, you were giving the commands.
“Unbutton your jeans, Nat.” Your hand - the one that wasn’t gripping Captain America’s sweaty shoulder as he fucked you senseless - snaked into her underwear, finding yourself immediately soaked to the knuckles in her arousal. You began to pleasure her with your hand. She moaned filthily, eyes rolling back in pure ecstasy.
Steve’s mouth gaped open as he watched. His breath stuttered. He. Was. Going. To. Explode.
Natasha’s finger increased its speed and pressure on your clit and you looked at her, coming undone beneath your hand, and back to Steve, about to explode balls-deep within you, his deep military training to obey orders the only thing holding him back from painting your insides with his super solider serum.
Steve sobbed, face screwed up in pure concentration. You came hard. He groaned his release seconds later. Watching you both plummet over the edge into bliss, Natasha followed, the room a crescendo of moans, groans and ragged breaths.
It sounded filthy.
It was several minutes until a word was said.
Natasha was the first, rising from her knees and buttoning up her jeans, nonchalantly sweeping back her hair with her one clean hand. “Well then. You two wait there.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
You and Steve chuckled. The room fell quiet. He looked at you tenderly, still very much inside of you. “You okay?”
“Y-yeah.”
It wasn’t much. But you had formed a word, and for that, you felt truly proud. When you had opened your mouth, you were certain only inhuman tones would emerge, reminiscent of a parakeet screaming.
“Yeah. I’m alright.”
You were really on a roll now.
Steve didn’t say much more. He simply smiled, nodded, and continued to look at you. Eventually, he spoke. “I suppose we should sit up now.”
“Do we have to?”
He had gone soft inside of you. You were just pushing your luck now. Absolutely milking the moment.
You sighed. “Fine.”
He slipped out of you, respectfully – at least, as respectfully as he could given the orgy he’d just partaken in – tucked himself back into his chinos and belted himself up. You pulled up the leggings that had seen more mileage that you had imagined a mere hour prior, when your only desire was sinking into a comfortable couch before bed. Steve gave you his hand, forearm and bicep flexing as he pulled you up. You sat, nestling your back into the comfortable sofa.
Be careful what you wish for.
He reached down towards his feet, scooping up his white tshirt. In the brief moment before he covered his skin, you drank in the sight of broad shoulders and back muscles, the type of which are usually reserved for plastic action figures over mere mortals. He sat back, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. His free hand pulled a soft blanket down from its place half-folded over the top of the sofa. He covered you both with it.
“You sure you’re okay? I didn’t hurt you?” He looked over at you solemnly.
“No, I’m good. Great, actually.” The backs of your fingers trailed over his cheek. “You were very gentle. Thank you.”
He gave a soft laugh, blushing as he cast his eyes away from you. “Good. That’s err… that’s good. You know, it’s…” He held a hand in front of him, examining it as though it wasn’t his own. “It’s been years now, since the….” He mimed an injection going into his arm, pulling a goofy expression. You laughed. “But err…..” he shook his head, “Even now, I don’t always know my own strength.”
“I don’t suppose that matters so much in battle.”
“No. No it doesn’t.” That shy smile again.
“But here….”
“Exactly.” He nodded sagely, glimmers of the stoic captain you knew so well slowly returning. “You know, err…. I haven’t…. I haven’t done this quite so many times as you might expect. I mean, I lotta times, but not…. not many women.”
You quirked a smile to lighten the mood. “Yeah Nat aluded to that just now. So, please forgive me for such a rude question, but…. how many?”
He held up the hand he previously examined. “Well put it this way. I’d only need this hand to count ‘em.”
You raised two eyebrows.
“You’ve killed more than that though.”
“Yeah.”
“How many?”
Yep. You wanted both body counts.
He cocked a head thoughtfully. “I, err… I couldn’t tell ya.”
“Because it’s classified?”
He fell quiet, looking down at his hand regretfully. He looked up at you, eyes serious. “Because I’ve lost count.”
“Oh.”
“I never wanted to kill anyone. That’s not why I got into this.”
“I know, Steve.”
The stirrings of emotion welled in his eyes. He sniffed. “God, I really shouldn’t be cryin’ about it.”
You pulled him into a tight embrace. “Come here. It’s alright.” You held him, wrapping your arms around the man who held the weight of the world on his broad shoulders. You stayed there for a while, taking in his fresh, timeless scent and cradling his sensitive soul, until you were gently interrupted by honeyed tone.
“Stealing my girl, Rogers?”
You both looked up to see Natasha holding two tumblers of orange juice. She took a large gulp of one, handing it to Steve, and gave the full glass to you.
“Squeezing ‘em by hand were you?” Steve smirked.
She cocked her head in warning. “Remind me to go harder on you next time.”
You sat together, drinking juice, chatting about what went well and what Steve enjoyed about your sexual playtime. He wanted to go even further. He was ready, he told you. As she listened, Nat rubbed her eyes and stifled a closed-mouth yawn. Obviously exhausted, she leaned back on the sofa.
“So you gonna come join us, Rogers? Little sleepover.”
“Somehow I don’t think sleep is what we’ll be doing.”
“Mmm no. But I… I guess I didn’t want you to be alone.”
“I’m alright, Nat.” He looked over at her. “Thank you.”
“You sure? The last thing I want is you falling into a shame spiral.” She tilted her chin down knowingly.
He blushed. “Yeah. Well. That was a long time ago.”
“You sure, Steve?” you asked kindly, a hand on his thigh. For reassurance. Definitely not to cop a feel. “Seriously. Will you be okay?”
His lips pursed as he pulled away to get a better look at you, your generosity touching him. “You’re very sweet. But I’m sure. Thank you.”
“Guys I’m beat. I gotta call it a night. You coming, baby?”
You turned to Steve. You hadn’t realised Natasha was talking to you.
“It’s not mandatory,” she smiled.
“That’s so nice, Nat. But I really need to sleep.”
She nodded. “I get it. Well, come find me in the morning if you wake up early and…. refreshed.” She looked at Steve now. “You gonna be a gentleman and walk this lady back to her room, soldier?”
Bashfully, he smiled. “I can do that, yeah.”
“Alright. Night all.”
After Natasha left, it was just you and Steve. He sighed, bone-tired from another full day. He leaned his head on the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, pulling you to his side. Your hand found his chest and you lay your head there, allowing yourself to drift.
Some twenty minutes later, drunken clanging woke you.
“What the hell is….”
A firm hand covered your mouth. “It’s Loki.” The solider was already awake, aware of the threat.
In the corridors outside the darkened room in which you sat, sweaty, sleepy and post-coital with Cap, the Asgardian regaled a model with a tale, eliciting a schoolgirl laugh from her. Silent and still, Steve’s eyes moved in the direction of a sound.
BEEP.
Click.
The volume of voices faded, high heels clicking on the corridor flooring as Loki and his lover walked back to his room behind a closed door.
“At least someone’s having a good night,” Steve quipped.
You slapped him lightly on the arm. “You serious? Me and Nat didn’t do enough, eh?”
He chuckled, “Sorry.”
You stood from the blanket nest Cap had created for you. “Alright, I really should be getting to bed now.”
“God, sorry I…” He rubbed an eye with the flat of his palm. He didn’t need to explain…. You were both exhausted.
“I think we both need to sleep. You gonna walk me home like a 1940’s gent?” You smiled with mischief that would rival the God currently laying into the girl from front cover of the February issue.
“Oh I can do one better.”
He scooped you up and carried you back to your quarters, strong arms making you feel safer than you had in years.
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“You don’t need this. You’re just gonna have to take my word for it.” Nat slid your morning coffee away from you. It was the morning after the night before, and you felt incredible.
“I just don’t understand why I have so much energy. I mean I slept five hours, woke up, saw you – ” You hushed. “Sorry I should keep my voice down.
Nat shrugged. “Scream it from the rooftops baby.”
High praise, indeed.
“Well… as I was saying, I came to see you, we… you know….”
“Fucked.”
“Yeah. And I’ve only had five hours. But I feel like I could run ten miles without breaking a sweat.”
The Russian’s face erupted in mirth. “I told you he was different.”
“Okay, yeah he’s…. he’s big. What else aren’t you telling me?”
She leaned in as though she was sharing state secrets. “It’s the serum.”
“Serum…. or semen.”
“Both.”
“Nat, I don’t follow.”
“I have a theory. The serum altered his DNA. It’s in his body, his bodily fluids too I guess. So when you…. get a little bit of him…. you get a little bit of super strength.”
“You saying I could uproot a tree with my bare hands right now.”
“Not exactly. But it gives you a lot of energy. You won’t need as much rest. Your skin will glow. And you’ll train like a beast.”
“I won’t ask how you know this.”
“What can I say,” she sipped her coffee. “It was a long five years after the snap.”
You fell quiet. She could sense it. “Nat, I…. I’m so glad we’re doing this, you and me, but…. I don’t want you to stop seeing Steve. I think it’s good for him. Therapeutic. I don’t want him to lose that. I won’t be mad, or jealous. I promise.”
“Baby,” her thumb grazed your cheek before she pressed her lips to yours. “You’re the sweetest. I actually… I thought we could both play with him.”
“Like we did last night?”
“Yeah. If you want.”
Your eyebrows raised of their own accord. “Fuck yeah. And you know, I really shouldn’t be surprised about it all…. being a mean dom to men and a soft dom to women is very on brand for you.”
“Thanks baby.”
“So five years eh. Fucking hell.”
“Oh, but that wasn’t why we were fucking last night.”
“No?”
“No, I purposely riled him up in training.”
“Rumour was you shot him.”
“Not exactly. I shot at him and he blocked it with his shield. Four clear shots directly at him. Clear aim. Unapologetic. Never fails to get him hard.”
“What a pervert.”
“Right?”
“God he’s so sweet but so unhinged,” you quipped.
“Baby aren’t we all.”
You started laughing, failing to notice who was on his way towards you.
“Mornin’ ladies. Sleep well?” An obscenely ripped Rogers walked into the shared kitchen space, a tight white vest and a pair of jeans wearing him rather than the other way around.
“Like the dead,” Nat quipped.
“Like shit, but I feel amazing. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“Don’t mention it.” He chuckled. “Hey you tell Nat about Loki?”
“Oh shit, no! After you left, Loki walked in through the main doors, probably wasn’t that far off rumbling us if Steve hadn’t – ”
Uncharacteristically, Rogers cut you off. “Hey, speak of the devil.”
A black-haired God walked towards you looking all-too pleased with himself.
“Steven, how many times must I articulate this. The trickster archetype and demonic entities are not mutually exclusive.”
The Asgardian’s attentions turned to the newest member of the team.
You.
“And pray tell, what were you doing coming out of Natasha’s lodgings this morning?”
“Oh, I was borrowing a mascara.”
His eyebrows raised. He spoke flatly. “At 6am.”
“Yeah.” You shrugged.
He frowned, eyeing your make-up free complexion. He shook the riddle from his mind.
“And you are looking remarkably chipper, Steven. Run an extra mile this morning, did you? Read a rapid ten pages of the mission briefing before breakfast? Extra coffee, perhaps. You do know how to live life on the very edge.”
“Something like that, yeah. You, err…. entertain… last night? Couldda swore I heard laughter and it was way past my bedtime. Couldn’t get through the mission notes for all the noise.”
You scoffed a laugh. Loki frowned.
“Erm, yes as a matter of fact. Vogue model. February issue. Why.”
“Just err… just the one?” The captain sipped his coffee feigning nonchalance.
“Only one? What do you expect Rogers, a veritable orgy of a Tuesday evening? That isn’t how it’s done.”
“Ah, well I’m sorta….. new to your world, so.” He shrugged.
If Avenging didn’t work out for him, perhaps acting would.
“New? Alien, Steven. You’re alien to it.”
“Ah well.” Steve sighed, shaking his head theatrically. “I guess I don’t know, but… better luck next time I guess.”
“You are odd, Steven. And put on a shirt would you, for God’s sake. It’s obscene.” Grabbing a coffee to go, the Asgardian made a swift exit.
Steve munched on toast, raising a finger from his breakfast to gesture between you and Natasha. “You know, I’m glad you two worked it out. Took you a minute.” He gave a wry smile. Apparently your mutual pining was the Avengers’ worst-kept secret.
“And err….” you leaned forward, the events of last night swelling your confidence. “We’re up for a repeat, if you are.”
He placed down his toast and coffee, gave the perfect military salute and beamed at both of you.
“Yes Ma’am.”
Tagging my fellow whores and connoisseurs: @lokisgoodgirl @fictive-sl0th @flesh--amnesiacunrated @skymoonandstardust @alexakeyloveloki @cabingrlandrandomcrap @cakesandtom @mrs-illyrian-baby @muddyorbsblr @irishhappiness @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @alexakeyloveloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @animnerd @wavyhairedvixen @emarich7 @km-ffluv @thegodofnotknowing @simplyholl @acidcasualties @foxherder
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 6 days
Text
To Know Him Is To Love Him
summary: to know steve rogers is to love him. to know him is to keep handing over your heart over and over again. to know him is to be broken by him.
pairing: steve rogers x reader
an: quick someone give this to a boy to read and ask him what steve did wrong. it's for science.
Anon's 1K Celebration
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to know him is to love him.
to know him is to stand by him.
to know him is to allow him to break your heart over and over again.
to know him to to hope that one day he'll finally see.
to know him is to be broken by him.
you can't count how many times he put you here, put in this situation. and worse, you can't count how many times you've let him put you in this situation.
three months ago...
you fix steve's tie, patting his shoulder to send him off on yet another date - after he invited himself into your apartment to get him ready for his date. you hated this feeling, the feeling of unrequited love.
you can't blame him, he doesn't know. at least, you think he doesn't know. in fact, you're sure he doesn't, he would never hurt you like that.
"i swear if this date doesn't go well, i'm swearing off women for good."
"does that mean i'm out a friend?" you tease.
"no, of course not," steve laughs. "you're my best friend. you don't count."
your smile falls at the words fall out of his mouth with ease. you don't count. you're not even a consideration. "i don't count as a woman?"
"you know what i meant. you're my friend."
you don't know what he meant. not in the slightest.
"right," you clear your throat, shaking your head with furrowed brows. "good luck on your date."
two months ago...
"i would tell him, but he's just - he's confusing," you admit. "i get a lot of mixed signals."
"men are just idiots," nat offers in consolation. "someday, he'll see. you're perfect for each other."
"thanks." you smile, walking back to your table with a fresh round of drinks. "what are you guys talking about?"
"about steve's terrible dating record," sam jokes.
"ah," you hum, you settle in the booth beside him, leaving plenty of room between the two of you.
steve frowns at you, reaching behind you and gripping your waist. without a word, he slides you until you're pressed against his thigh.
sam humorously snorts, "i don't get you two. you're attached at the hip. you're both attractive singles. make it official already."
you look to steve's reaction for any indication of what he's feeling. steve leans over, kissing your temple, "she knows she's my other half, my soulmate. we don't need labels."
"soulmate?" sam teases.
you shift uncomfortably. he never asked you that, never asked you if you wanted a label. he's never even asked you on a real date, but now he's declaring that he's your soulmate.
how blind can he be?
one month ago...
"please, i miss you, sweetheart." you squeeze your eyes shut. the term of endearment rolls so easily off his tongue. "i feel like i haven't seen you in forever."
it's intentional. you're trying to get over him. to move past these feelings. he doesn't make it easy. "i know, i've just been busy."
"how about dinner tonight? my place at 8?"
you chew on the inside of your cheek, hesitant to accept his dinner invite, "i don't know, steve."
"please, i need you."
putting distance between you and steve rogers didn't work. not when he so dutifully sought you out. not when he told you over and over again that he missed you. that he didn't know how to be without you.
his words toy with your head just enough to convince that it's a good idea to enter his gravitational orbit again.
you're not strong enough to resist the pull. you're not strong enough to to say no. you never have been.
you decide that you can't do this. you're going to tell him. you'll tell him. you'll tell him that you want to count. you'll tell him that you want him to see you.
to know him is to love him, you remember. the moment you see him, you crumble. that smile that makes it feel like your life is worthwhile. the eyes that send your rational mind into a haze. to know him is to love him.
he doesn't make it easy for you or your heart. he greets you at the door with a beaming grin, his eyes lighting up. it makes you feel like this is more than just a dinner. it feels like you're finally coming home to him.
you falter as his fingers graze your skin to take off your jacket. the apartment isn't his usual scene either. it feels like so much more than just a normal hangout. it feels... romantic. music spinning on his record player, marvin gaye, you recognize. candles lit in the center of the table. the smell of a home cooked meal simmering over the stove.
you turn to him with a nervous smile, "i thought you we were ordering pizza or something."
"i wanted to do something nice for my best girl."
his best girl.
he spends the whole dinner fawning over you. his hand rests on your leg. the other occasionally grazing the back of your hand. he asks you all about your work, about your love life.
"i missed you so much."
you're so entranced by him that your carefully thought out speech is gone, replaced by a soft whisper, "i love you."
"i love you, too." he smiles down at him. his eyes shining bright and blue. it doesn't even occur to him that you're professing your love for him. "i can't imagine my life without you."
you shake your head, reminding yourself that you had to tell him. you needed to move forward, one way or another. "no, steve, i - i'm in love with you."
an anxious chuckle leaves his mouth. his hand drops from your thigh, leaving you feeling cold, hollow, and abandoned. "what?"
you know a rejection when you see one. at least you can move on now. your heart can begin to heal. maybe in time, you could be friends again. "i just had to tell you. just once."
"i don't -" he licks his lips. "i'm sorry, i don't feel the same."
"i understand."
2 weeks ago...
you sigh at yourself, hearing the familiar ding of another voicemail on your phone.
each one chips away at your resolve, each one shatters your broken heart even more.
you told him you understood. you told him that it was okay. you spent the night consoling him. you soothed his fears that he would lose you.
in return, he made you promise to always be in his life. with a broken heart and wounded pride, you weren't strong enough to say no. you simply asked for time and a little space.
time and space that steve had no interest in giving you.
you made it easy for him. you retreated from mutual friends. from social spaces you occupied. you no longer texted or called first. you just needed time.
still, he sought you out.
you've gained enough strength to stop answering his every call and text. you've stuck to your boundaries, at least, the ones steve doesn't seem intent on steamrolling past.
you clutch your kitchen counter with your head hung low. with a couple deep breaths and reminders that he doesn't feel the same for you, you're slowly glad you didn't answer. you're proud of yourself for being strong and doing what's best for you.
at least, you're glad until there's a banging at your door.
your mending heart regrets the moment you answer.
"steve?"
"you weren't answering," he pants, clutching the frame of your doorway, "i wanted to hear your voice."
"steve..." you sputter. "this isn't - it's-"
"i just miss you," he cuts you off. he looks so heartbroken, so sincere. he misses you. you try to not make anything more of it, but then he says it again, "i miss you so much."
you stand to the side, allowing him to pass, "come in."
"thank you," he sighs in relief.
"what happened?"
"the worst date of my life."
you swear you can feel your heart fracturing. the air feels like its being squeezed out of your lungs.
and still, you stand before him trying to look as unaffected as possible. you don't know how effective it is. you don't think he sees you enough to notice either way. "you were on a date?"
"it was awful. she was vapid and boring and - and pretentious - and - and she wasn't you."
you suck in a breath, "steve..."
these were words from a man who did not love you, from a man that did not count you. they sounded an awful lot like the love he claimed he didn't feel.
suddenly, he cups your face, standing too close to you. this wasn't what friends did. this isn't how friends treated each other. you know that.
and then he kisses you. soft and tenderly. his lips mold against yours perfectly. you swear it's a sigh of relief that leaves his mouth when you don't pull away.
you smile against his lips. a sense of rightness overtakes you. he overwhelms you. he consumes you. he grips your waist tightly. the other hand caressing your cheek.
"steve.." you sigh against his lips.
and he freezes. his hands drop as though you burned him. his lips slightly swollen and shining from the kiss. he wipes his mouth, "i should go."
you shake your head. you don't want to believe that this is happening right now. this is steve. the person you loved with every fiber of your being. your friend. you trusted him. you believed in him. he wouldn't hurt you like that. even if he didn't love you, even as just a friend, he wouldn't take advantage of your love for him like that. "what?"
"i should go."
and he leaves without another word.
your heart isn't just broken anymore, it's crumbled into a million little pieces. you're not sure you'll ever be able to fix it.
1 week ago...
he's blown past all your defenses. he's drained every ounce of strength from you. he's taken everything except your broken heart and your love for him. that's all that's left of you.
to know him is to love him. to know him is to be broken by him.
he calls and this time, you answer. you fear him coming back to your apartment like he did before. your heart couldn't take it anymore.
"hi, steve." your voice is so gravelly and hollow, a shell of the fullness and life it used to contain.
you noticed everything about him. his likes, his dislikes. you could tell the day he was having by the way he said hi, by the sort of smile he gave you. you're not sure why you just realized that it's not reciprocated at all. he once told you he loved the sound of your voice, how could he not hear the broken tone? if he notices, which you're sure he doesn't, he doesn't ask.
you can hear the smile in his voice, "i'm so glad you answered."
you're not even sure that he realizes you've put the phone down. after all, you're just his space filler.
now...
you don't know why you're surprised he showed up at your door again. you're not surprised that you opened the door. you're not surprised that you let him back into your home. you're not even surprised that he's talking to you like everything is normal.
the only thing that takes you by surprise is your unwillingness to hear about the misadventures of his dating life.
"steve," you try to interrupt.
"and all i want -"
"steve."
"is for someone to really hear me, to see -"
"steve." you're surprised by the harshness in your own voice. his eyes flash over to you, widened slightly in shock. "you - you have to go now."
his brow furrow, he's taken aback. it occurs to you that he has no idea what he's done wrong. "why?"
"you know why," you spit at him.
"no, you said you understood. you said we could still be friends."
"friends?" you bitterly chuckle. "friends don't hurt their friends over and over again."
"i don't understand."
"that's the problem, steve. you don't get it. you don't get that i don't want to hear about the girls you date. you don't get that it hurts hearing you talk about what you're looking for in a woman. it hurts when call me at the end of the night because you want to hear my voice."
"they why do you answer the phone?"
"because i love you!" you hopelessly exclaim. "because i’ll do anything for you. i’ll do anything you say. and i think you know that."
"am i just supposed to know that you didn’t want to hear about them?"
"no girl wants that," you whisper. "no one wants to hear about everything they don’t have."
"i don't understand what's happening here. you promised me that you would always be in my life!" his accusing tone offends you far more than it should.
a tear slips down your cheek. "that was before."
"before? before what?"
each word hurts. he really doesn't know. he doesn't think about you at all. not as a consideration. not as a woman. not even as just a friend. he doesn't see you at all. "i can do this anymore. it’s too hard. i can - i can’t keep letting you break my heart."
"i told you that i didn’t feel the same. you knew i wasn’t in a space to - to reciprocate."
"and then you kissed me!"
he stiffens at the kiss that he refused to mention. all those nights he spent on the phone with you, talking to you. it was the one thing he never spoke about. "i - i know that wasn’t right. and i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry i did that. i was hurting."
"you were hurting?" your breaths come out in fragments, with each heave of your chest you can hear the whistle of emptiness where your heart used to reside. "you - you knew how i felt and you knew you didn’t feel the same and you kissed me anyway."
"it was a mistake. i'm sorry."
your hands ball up in frustration, tear burn at the corners of your eyes. "it’s not just about the kiss. it’s - it’s everything. it’s you. you won’t let me go. let me move on. please."
steve staggers back, "i don’t- i'm not trying to hold on to you."
"why did you call me the other night?"
"because you’re my friend. you’re the person i wanted to talk to. you understand. you always understand."
"i don’t. i don’t understand. it crushed me."
he reaches out for your hand. hurt flashes in his eyes when you snatch it out of his reach. you can't let him blind you this time. "you’re always there for me. even when no one else is, you are."
you snort, "you don’t even know what you did wrong, do you?"
"you’re my best friend. i just - i wanted you hear your voice."
"you see? you keep messing with my head. you tell me that i'm the person you want to talk to at the end of the night. you tell people that i'm your soulmate. you tell me that you don’t feel the same. i tell you i want to move on. you kiss me. then you go on a date with another girl. when it doesn’t work out, you call me. i'm done. i can’t do this anymore. loving you is breaking me far beyond repair."
"i do love you."
you fervently shake your head over and over again, "you don’t mean that."
"i love you and i know it’s not in the same way but maybe - just give me time."
"time isn’t going to fix this. you don’t love me. you love the way i make you feel. you love being loved."
he scoffs, shooting a glare at you, "that’s not fair."
"no, it’s not," you agree. "and it’s not fair that you know how i feel and yet you just keep hurting me. you do it over and over again. and i keep letting you."
steve reaches for you again, "we can fix this."
you shake him off, striding to your door, opening it for him, "you should go."
"please," steve begs.
"goodbye, steve."
you don't know how you gather the strength to close the door on the man you love more than anything, let alone the man begging to stay in your life. the door clicks shut behind him.
a choked sob escapes your mouth as tears freely fall.
to know him is to love him, and you don't want to know a thing about steve rogers anymore.
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As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 6 days
Note
Congrats Lou!!! I really love your works, maybe 22 w/ Clark Kent???
.⋆。Distractible。⋆.
Clark Kent x plus size reader
You’re a damn good distraction
Warnings: fluff, established relationship, kissing, teasing, implied smut
Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
5k follower celebration
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That damn dimple, it was fucking taunting you. The simple divot in Clark’s prominent chin that was just big enough for you to fit the side of your thumb into like it was made to do that. Sometimes it was covered by thick dark hair when he had gone a couple days without shaving and then your man would re-emerge from the bathroom and the dimple would return along with baby soft cheeks. 
And when Clark was generous enough to let you sit in his lap while he worked from his home office, the temptation was almost too much. It was his fault really, he should’ve known better to not be so absolutely delicious. His jaw flexed and shifted, keeping your hungry eyes trained on that stupid dimple. His broad chest rumbled with his words as he spoke on the phone so some colleague whose name you didn’t care to recall at this moment.
Suddenly, you couldn’t take it anymore. 
Your lips pressed softly to the small sliver of skin along his collarbone that his t-shirt didn’t cover. Clark’s large hand rested on your plush thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. The next kiss was at the base of his throat, you loved the way you could feel his pulse beat against your tongue as you lapped at him.
You winced when his grip got a little too tight but you didn’t let that deter you from your mission. Your teeth grazed his Adam's apple and you smirked as it bobbed. Clark cleared his throat and apologised to whoever he was on the phone with. 
You nosed at his jaw, practically purring with happiness. You ran your hand up his front, revealing the firmness of his body against your palm. Then finally, your lips reached that perfect little dent in his chin and you were content.
You bit and kissed and sucked fully knowing that you would be unable to leave a mark on his flawless skin. You ignored the way your boyfriend attempted to subtly pry you away from him without alerting the person on the other end of the phone that something entirely not work appropriate was occurring. Yet you continued your little escapade, taking a kind of sick pleasure from teasing him like how he would do to you when you were trying to work.
Clark shifted in his office chair and it was easy to figure out why. The hard bulge in his sweatpants was now nestled perfectly between your legs and if you were to just move one more inch, he would be pressed against your panty-clad pussy. He shot you a warning glance but the way that his pupils were slowly consuming the blues of his eyes gave you all the motivation you needed to continue. 
“Hang up.” You muttered into his skin as you pressed your chest to his, letting him get a clear view of the way your tits squished into his pecs. Clark groaned silently, his eyelids fluttering as he struggled to retain some semblance of control.
His hand darted from your thigh to your jaw, forcibly pulling your lips from his skin and moved his phone away from his ear. “Stop kissing me for a minute, I’m trying to have a conversation. I promise I’ll take care of you in a minute, I just need to get this done.” You stuck your bottom lip out at him as best you could with your cheeks squished together by his massive hand.
“Take me to bed now and I’ll do that thing with my tongue.” 
“Sorry, I have to call you back later. Something just came up.” Clark had barely hung up the phone and tossed it onto the desk before you found yourself over his shoulder as he practically ran from the room, his booming footsteps making you giggle against his back. “You and your damn kisses.” He mock whined. You retaliated by landing quite a firm smack to his perky backside.
“Not my fault you’re so distractible.” His warning growl told you that you would be eating your words soon enough.
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 9 days
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.⋆。Steamy。⋆.
Steve Rogers x plus size reader
Stolen shampoo, hot shower and a perky little ass
Warnings: fluff, nudity but no smut, domestic fluff, some crack humour, implied smut WC: 564
Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
5k Follower Celebration
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You were absolutely covered in sweat and grime, a result of letting Sam pick your hiking trail for the day and of course he picked one that would give you a ‘challenge’. 10 miles of mostly uphill terrain later, you were so ready for a hot shower and a nap with your boyfriend. 
Your clothes came off piece by piece as you stumbled through your apartment until you reached the bathroom, where the shower was already running. You smirked as you tugged off your panties and slowly opened the door, revealing the site of a lifetime. 
The steam made his pale skin glow under the bathroom light. Water rolled down the defined muscles of Steve’s back, droplets getting caught in the divots and valleys of his shoulder blades and the small dimples at the base of his spine, leading right to the perky ass of your dreams. 
You bit your lip, it was far too tempting.
Your hand whistled as it flew through the air and collided with his perfect cheek with a satisfying smack. Steve immediately froze up, his hands still buried in his hair where he had been massaging in shampoo. Your smirk widened as he slowly turned to face you, his pretty blue eyes wide.
“Did you just… slap my ass?” 
“And what are you gonna do about it doll?” You retorted with Steve’s usual line when he was the one to smack your ass. He glared at you so hard he didn’t even notice that you were completely naked. You let your own gaze drift downwards, following a particularly fat drop of water as it rolled down his torso. It raced between his toned abs before getting lost in the thick patch of hair right at the base of his pelvis.
Your eyes wandered lower but before you could go down any further, Steve’s hands flew to cover himself. “You’re objectifying me.” He whined yet his bright red cheeks gave away just how much he enjoyed your attention.
“You like it.” You stepped into the shower, letting out a happy groan as the hot water washed over your sore muscles. Your boyfriend wrapped a muscular arm around your thick waist and tugged you into his chest.
“How was the hike?” He asked as he pressed a kiss to your hair. 
“It was fine but you need to tell Sam-“ You paused and sniffed at Steve. He raised an eyebrow at you but you ignored it and instead wound your fingers into his hair to pull him to your level. You buried your nose against his scalp and inhaled deeply. “Did you use my shampoo?”
“You weren’t supposed to be home yet?”
“How. Dare. You. Do you know how much that stuff costs! I only use it for special occasions!” You slapped a hand against his chest, purposefully ignoring the way he was flexing his pecs. Steve caught your wrists in one big hand. You thrashed playfully in his hold.
“Hey, it makes my hair look good.” He defended.
“Oh like you need to look any better than you normally do.” You sassed.
It was Steve’s turn to smirk as he pushed his hips forward and pressed his hardening cock into your soft stomach. “I just need to do my best to keep up with you.”
“Fuck you.” 
“I’m trying.” He grinned and you rolled your eyes and leaned into him.
Request: Steve Rogers: 13,12 and28 @as-white-as-snow-love
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 13 days
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currently at the DMV… for my car ( which i still don’t have a license for) I’m getting flash backs from when I failed my written test 😭😭
maybe this will finally be the year I get a license 💀
@mochie85 @loopsisloops@hannibals-favourite-meal @imyourbratzdoll @lokisgoodgirl
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 15 days
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hotch in polo shirts
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 15 days
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@amatasera @ladyofthestayingpower @lokisgoodgirl @thirsty-for-loki @loki-cees-all @mythical-magik @loki-and-randomness @obsessedwithlokilaufeyson @maiabreathesmarvel @foxherder @soulpiercing @superficialdomina @lokischambermaid @jennyggggrrr @the-haven-of-fiction @acidcasualties @zylice @tallseaweed
Tom we love you but your Loki is showing!
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 24 days
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GO READ AND SUPPORT MY BABY RN! Her first fic!!💗🥹
Rescue Them. (Levi Ackerman)
Pairings: Levi Ackerman/Reader Levi Ackerman/You Reader/Sadness
Summary: In which, you are a squad leader for the survey corps. Your team labeled "the rescue team." In lieu of levis squad, you lose yours instead.
Warnings: Heavy on the ANGST !!! 57th expedition type of angst (ifyyk), Mentions of Death, Described Death, Injury, Grief, Panic Attack, Hidden Relationship, Fluff (in terms of the captain)
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Anxiety began to set in your stomach, the tensity of the expedition began to take its toll on you. You let out a sigh of built up air you kept in your lungs for far too long, looking at the backs of your team riding in the distance, the blue "star of life" emblem plastered on all of your soldiers. A subtle reminder you had the responsibility of saving many lives, adding more fuel to the fire of worries.
You then had to remind yourself that is was not ethical for a squad leader to be experiencing such emotions, you would simply let your anxieties seep into your soldiers minds, hindering their confidence and thus, their performance as well. And that could not be afforded when it was your team in particular that was the barrier between life and death for many; the rescue team- devoted to saving soldiers that are in a state of destress, threat, or danger. Saving the wounded and crippled, applying first aid and relocating them away from any possible event that has gone wrong. All of it rested in yours and your team of five, hands. 
But you could not shake the trepidation that this particular expedition was causing you. It did not seem to be going right by the slightest means. Your team already had to be redirected several times, constantly seeing the hue of the flare gun color that signaled an area was in need of your help. The formation had also been breached numerous times, and the initial plan to secure the female titan had just failed.
In attempts to ease your overactive mind, you made your way to Erwin as your team continued their way towards a tree of awaiting injured soldiers that needed dire attention.
"Erwin."
He simply nodded to your voice as he continued on his horse, Hange turning their attention to you as well; a look of wary plastered. That alone did not make you feel any better.
"My team is showing signs of exhaustion. If it continues like this, I can't ensure that we will be performing the best aid.", you said in the most stern voice you could, given the commander does in the slightest, scare you. But when met with silence you added, "I need instruct-"
"I want you to join Levi's squad. Provide what remaining support you have left into Eren, we can't risk his loss.", was all the commander gave in return, adding one last bit of information, "But don't let them know your team is there. Watch from a distance and only intervene when you deem it necessary in means of protection."
Although confused, you knew better than to question his orders, in which you simply nodded and did as instructed. You halted your horse and made your way back, gathering your team and making your way to Eren's location, opting for odm gear to ensure the aspect of being concealed away.
Your team was spread out in multiple positions in attempts of causing the least amount of noise possible in one area. The plan did decently well, as your team managed its way beside the other squad, the natural noises of the forest drowning out the whirs of the odm gear.
"Captain.", you heard one of your men whisper to you, "There's an unidentified scout closer inwards towards Captain Levi's team on the left flank, they have yet to notice us but we can't guarantee they wont."
You quickly looked over to the left side to scope the area, setting your grapples towards it, "Adler, take the high ground here. I'll take care of it."
With a swift change in directions, you made your way to the rear left flank, taking notice of the scout in question that was hidden beneath the cloak. They moved quickly throughout the trees, close enough for Gunther to take notice,
He eyed the scout for awhile, trying to figure out who it was,
"Captain?", he questioned with no response, as the figure continued on as if they were ignoring him. But it quickly escalated once the cloaked figured lunged towards Gunther with their blades drawn.
It all happened so fast, but one of your men was faster than your own processing time; the one stationed below quickly shot up, pushing Gunther away as they took the slash instead.
Brenner is gone.
Without hesitation you blew your personal flare, letting your team know to regroup and to warn Erwin that a rescue has failed. You finally made your presence be known to the others, including the dangerous threat.
Gunther stared in complete shock at the dead body that shielded him from the blow, dangling from the gear wires. It quickly gathered the attention from the rest of the squad who stared with wide eyes.
While they were distracted, you made sure your flare did its duty and ascended the trees for Erwin to see, then making your way to the high ground, settling on a tall tree branch as you looked down at the area. The mysterious scout was gone, which only meant one thing.
"Captain!?", Petra yelled from afar, making her way towards you, in which you halted her,
"It's her." was all you warned in advance before hearing the noise of a titan transformation.
It all made sense now why Erwin instructed you to aid Eren. The female titan was coming for him, most likely in attempts of a bigger motive and plan you had yet to learn. But you're sure Erwin had some sense of knowing, and the commander wanted the least amount of possibility of our titan shifter in getting captured. Plus, the added factor of being hidden helped in the case of any surprise attacks.
Within a few seconds, you heard your team emerge from the trees, waiting for your instructions,
"Let the special operations squad cease the female titan. We will do what we can to safeguard. and ensure the success of it"
Your team was quick to take action, surrounding the female titan from afar as the other squad began their plan to desist. You took the front, positioning yourself in the path of the female titan, ready to intervene if anything were to go wrong. But you were nearly sure you wouldn't have to, you held confidence in the other squads abilities, you had to if it meant any chance of survival.
And it was most impressive to see how well the special operation squad worked together, knowing what to do without physically saying it. A warm feeling entered your chest knowing your team worked worked in similar means. You had to push aside the grief you felt creeping into your conscious knowing one of them was gone. That was something to feel later, when this was all over.
Petra and Olou managed to take out the titans sight after slicing the eyes, collapsing her to the floor. It all was going accordingly, but something didn't feel right- the titan shouldn't have given up so easily.  And when Eld went for another attack, you could feel the titan tense; she was going to counter. You propelled yourself forward in retaliation.
But another one of your team members, one that was closer in proximity, took notice too. And out of sheer possibility and chance that they happened to be positioned closer, they got there first. And they were the one to push Eld away and get mauled in half in place of you or Eld.
Astrid was gone.
Damn their keen senses.
"Fall back!", you yelled as your team, or what was left of a team, obediently listened. But the others did not, attempting to once again attack. 
"I said fall back!", you reiterated in desperation as Petra and Olou when it for a duo attack, going in fast to only be met with hardened, diamond like skin. Two of yours went to retrieve them after their blades broke.
The two on your squad successfully grabbed Olou and Petra, saving them from the swat of the titans hand. But they quickly had to let go of them once the titan then took hold of their odm wires instead. Their deaths were granted quickly once they were forcefully slung into the trees.
Ansel and Adler were gone; twins who shared the same birth, died together as well.
In frustration, you made your way to the others. 
"Get out of here, or we all die!", you yelled at everyone as you led yourself into the sight of the female titan, serving as a distraction. "Don't let my squad's deaths be in vain.", you added with all the seriousness you could muster, given you were on the brink of a meltdown.
After the fall of your men, the special operations seemed distraught. Especially after their many failed attempts, which rarely ever occurs. They finally seceded and withdrew, steering away from the titan.
You then grappled into the titan, swinging towards the massive body. Looking at it closely, it heavily resembled a human- a specific scout to be exact. But you disregarded that thought as you went in for an attack, only for the titan to crystalize once again.
Fuck.
As you withdrew away, you still tried your best to serve a diversion as you grappled and went in again. However, the female clearly didn't obey in your wishes as it continued to run towards the larger group, causing Petra to look back in alarm. She quickly froze in fright as she hit the ground, slowing her down and closing in the space she had to escape, close to being trampled by the titans ruthless sprint.
Without a second thought, you dived towards Petra to steer her out the deadly path, colliding harshly due to not being able to prepare for the change in direction. But not only did it hurt from the impact, you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen.
Petra still had her broken blades drawn, the jagged weapon piercing right through your stomach as you held onto her, breaking her fall onto the ground. Your head taking a hit on a nearby tree.
After that, everything was blurry. You could hear screams and then the sound of Eren transforming. But it was all muffled, like you were underwater. Your eyelids heavy, the sharp pain you felt now becoming dull.
As squad leader of the rescue team, you failed. 
It all went black after.
-
The expedition was now days over, everything slowly turning back to normalcy as squad practice returned. But Levi still struggled.
As for the each day that passed by, only added more days to the time you had yet to awake. You were in a coma, induced by the amount of blood you lost and the severe concussion to your head.
All caused by his team and Erwin's orders.
And Levi couldn't help but hold resentment. But it was a feeling he has to attempt to keep at bay, or else it would be painfully obvious.
Obvious that he loves you, of course.
He knew the hidden relationship that you too held would be a burden and cause issues with time, only making it more difficult to conceal. But he didn't expect it to be so soon.
He had only recently gave in to his selfish desires. It was a mere two months ago where you shared a kiss and began the typical, relationship "like" status, given he was still new to everything and also had his work as a top priority. And that was also only after many years of unresolved feelings he had pushed aside, convincing himself he should rid himself of any types of feelings all together.
But he couldn't. He finally broke. He hated the thought of you seeing another man, of finally giving up on him. He hated the thought of never being able to experience all the imageries he had ashamedly had over the years. He was humanities strongest, but weak to his desires. Weak to you.
And he couldn't help but feel guilty that he made the wrong choice, that it was all his fault and he only put you in danger. That this was another form of cruel punishment after all the sins he committed during his time underground. It was Isabel and Farlan first, and now you were next. But for now, all he could do was take his anger out elsewhere.
So here he stood in Erwin's office, patronizing him once again for the orders he given that day,
"It was a bad call on your part. You knew the dangers of it and still sent out one of our most valuable teams to their deaths.", he spat. It was rare he ever stood up to Erwin, given the nature of their relationship. But in this particular case, he couldn't help it.
"My top priority was Eren. Sending that team out helped in keeping him safe, did it not?", he sighed as he put his paperwork down to divert his attention to Levi, his icy blue eyes growing tired. "As for the team, I did not expect their deaths and it has served as a major blow to the Survey Corps. But their deaths were not in vain, I can guarantee that. They served their purpose."
Thinking over Erwin's words, he thought back to the day of the expedition. Seeing the flare color meant for warning of a failed rescue set off near the area his team was at, he knew then something had to  have gone absolutely wrong, and he was only reassured of it when hearing Eren transform shortly after. It brought back a feeling of grief he hoped to have never felt again, but he was not granted such luxuries it seems.
And it was you that payed the price. Your team gone, only to be met with life trying to escape your grasp as well.
Erwin stared down Levi, knowing he was in thought. His eyes scanning all the subtle hints that only added to his notion. The commander was attentive, and surely far from dumb, so he was well aware of the relation between his two squad leaders. For he had a guilty pleasure in watching it play out, feeling a little ounce of joy for them. But he was also a military commander above all;
"Look, Levi. I am aware you may have certain... extended feelings towards this. I have turned a blind eye for now since I see no reason to interfere. But do not let it come in between work and the reality of this. You are a soldier as well."
Levi knew he was right. He had to accept the nature of this job, which in turn was the nature of your job as well. You were strong, smart, and a natural born leader that he had rarely had doubts about or reservations about your performance. But some things were simply out of his control- or anyones, for that matter.
So with a last sigh of defeat and perhaps annoyance, he exited the office without another word, making his way to his team's training ground where they all waited for his appearance. He was late, minutes late, which was severely out of character for him. He would typically be the one to scold any of his soldiers that dared to be any form of late.
But he dreaded seeing his team. Usually, the first training after an expedition was dedicated to rigorous formation practice and conditioning. This time however, all he had ready was his overwhelming amount of emotions that threatened to flood out his stoic damn he built.
So when he came into view, he didn't bother staring at them, but rather took interest in the open field beside them. Memories came quickly.
The silence broke,
"Captain, i'm sorry for our failure as a team and the consequences it brought others. I ensure you we will work hard to make sure it never happens again.", Petra said with shaky voice. Guilt riddled the pure heart of hers, weighing down on her for days. Especially knowing the very one that saved her life, might lose theirs in return. 
Those words didn't make him feel any better. Levi was about to snap at them; saying every crude, hurtful, thing that he could think of. To pour out all the disappointment he had felt, hoping it would hurt them in any sort of capacity in comparison to what he felt. But he hesitated.
Only because he knew what you would think of it. You were constantly looking out for people, nurturing their spirits and well being, even if your job for the day was far from over. He knew you wouldn't want him to punish his team- that you had no regrets and willingly saved their lives because you simply wanted to.
So he bit his tongue. 
And it seems that him doing something positive for once, finally blessed him in return. 
Hange came running, stumbling upon their own feet. With their last ounce of breath they could muster, they spoke,
 "Levi, she's awake."
- You woke up a daze, a headache instantly assaulting your mind. It only got worse after Hange screamed at your awakening, rambling some incoherent words before running out the building. 
After your eyes finally took focus, you looked around. You were in a treatment room. Flowers and cards covering any spot of counter or bedside space.
Oh, right.
You attempted to get up, only to be meant with restraints. Multiple IV's were punctured into your arm, your whole mid section covered in a tight gauze. It was only then did you feel the stabbing pain in your stomach, and the slight itch the presumed stitches left.
Everything felt confining, frustration irked you.
Your head jolted to the door after hearing multiple footsteps on the creaky, wooden floor of the medical ward. You hoped one of them belonged to him, only then you would feel better.
The door then opened and you were greeted by the entirety of the special operations squad, but your eyes only quickly found the steel grey ones, looking back at you with concern. The frustrations you felt earlier, dissipated.
But as you then slowly met the eyes of every other soldier, sorrow suddenly hit. Seeing their faces only warped and reminded you of the ones you lost. And there was one missing-
"Amelia?", you questioned, but instantly knew your answer when all of the faces downturned.
"Baker, Amelia, died by titan upon trying to rescue Eren after being captured. The time they served fighting abled Captain Levi and Mikasa to reach the area in due time and successfully return him.", Gunther, whom rarely every talks, stated.
You couldn't stop the tears. Although you were happy to protect and rescue arguably the most important people of the survey corps, you still can't help but feel you completely failed as a squad leader.
You always engraved it into your squads minds that they had the important role of rescuing people, to take pride in it and feel accomplished over the countless lives saved. But what you failed to realize, even after three years of being a captain... who was there to rescue them?
How tragically comedic and ironic; nobody rescued the rescue team.
And you couldn't help but feel like it was all your fault. Why did you happen to survive and not anyone else? Did you not try enough in comparison? Why didn't you do more to save them?
As the pondering to yourself continued, your surroundings soon began to close in, not even taking into account the other people in the room. 
Your breathing quickened.
Your heart rate escalated.
A ringing began to evade your ears.
But just as fast as it came, it all stopped.
Since it all seemed to ease when you felt a calloused hand softly hold the side of your cheek, deterring your attention and self punishment away from yourself and onto the touch instead. The smell of tea leaves and lavender soon hitting your nose.
It was Levi. 
Upon the realization, you subconsciously melted into his touch, breathing in his scent. It all managed to dwindle down the panic within you, especially after looking into the eyes you so desperately wanted to see again, his eyes met yours in return. 
You then left his gaze and quickly looked around you, hoping nobody saw your moment of affection with him, risking getting caught. But he seemed to read your worries instantly,
"I had them leave."
With a nod you leaned back into him, letting his hand find your face again,
"I wouldn't have cared regardless.", he added, before turning your face back to his, "I hope you never do any dumb shit like that ever again."
You simply smiled, knowing this is the way Levi showed he cared. After years of being infatuated with this man, you came to appreciate the words he did spare, even if they didn't come off the most kind. You wouldn't have it any other way.
You moved over on the tiny cot, making just enough room for Levi to sit against the bed. And with a slight wince, you sat yourself up as well. Sitting beside him, enjoying his presence in companion with silence.
For that is all you needed at this given moment; just his presence. You would greedily take more when you felt better, when the time was right.
Time heals, in a multitude of ways.
-
It was the next day, the night slowly creeping in, the natural light the sun graced is long gone. You lit a candlestick to substitute.
Levi has been in your company majority of yesterday and today. Even taking the risk of sleeping overnight in the chair adjacent from you, much to your surprise. With the exclusion of his morning meeting with Erwin and training with his team, he had been there.
He had now long gone for supper with his team, promising to bring back more appetizing food than the one given at the ward. As you impatiently waited, you began going through the many gifts left to you from the others, hoping to have time pass by a tad faster.
There were many notes from others, wishing you "Get Well's" and giving condolences. And although you were very much struggling with the reality that your team was gone, it seemed to truly help reading all the kind messages.
You were also left tons of flowers of various colors and scents, adding more of a lively nature to the otherwise bleak room. And deep down you knew that the one hand picked bouquet of your favorite flowers, neatly bundled in twine, was from none other than Levi. Even if he refused to admit it.
But as you were nearing the end of your gifts, you took notice that the biggest one of them all - most definitely from a costly flower shop -, had a note tucked away in the bushel of it. You took it out.
Dear, Name
I am in writing in hopes that I hopefully alleviate even an ounce of grief you may hold. For I am forever in debt to you, as your brave and caring soul saved my life.
I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your team. I will forever hold that weight on my shoulders as deserved. But it will never compare to yours. However, you are strong and I have no doubts you will persevere.
But overall, thank you for the altruismyou demonstrated that day, along with your team. The special operation team is forever grateful, even if all of us may not directly show it. We all care in our own ways.
Especially Levi. Although I had my suspicions, everyone was dealt a great surprise in his reaction to your state. After his retrieval of Eren, he was quick to find his way to you. I was of course by your side, never leaving it after the fall. I had used my cape in attempts to stop the bleeding.
But the second he got there, you were out of my care and fully in his. He would not leave you out his sight, even when the person medically aiding you made a sly comment about him being in the way, he quickly dismissed it after the glare Levi had given.
And as we were being trailed by titans on the way back, he refused to let them dispose of your teams' bodies in attempts to make the cart lighter. He knew how much care you had for them, and the importance you hold in bringing back bodies to their families, knowing you rescue even the dead if it meant the family would cope better.
I know you already know this - but take it from a member of his squad that has served him for years. I have never once seen him demonstrate this level of care for anyone else. And I think that speaks for itself.
I added this story in hopes to brighten your mood once again, knowing Levi would never tell you this himself. And please, never hesitate to ask anything of me. I owe it to you, and the memory of your team. Each individual member holds a place in my heart.
With much love, Petra Ral.
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 25 days
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I loved the plot twist!
Not My Type
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Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader x Steve Rogers
Word Count: 2,329 Masterlist
Summary: Bucky is dumb.
Warnings: Fatphobia.
A/N: something short, sweet and simple because I’m starting to feel guilty about not posting 😭
Steve watched, as his friend searched around the club with his eyes. He could assume Bucky was just waiting on the rest of their coworkers to get there, but he knew better. “She’ll get here soon enough, relax.”. Steve leans his back against the booth and takes a long drink of his beer. “Who?” Bucky asks, unconvincingly.
“Y/N.” He says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Bucky scrunches up his face “As if, man.” He ignores the look of disbelief Steve gives him. “Why deny it? I’ve caught you staring her down more times than I can count.”. Steve stands up and waves to signal Natasha to where they sat. “There’s nothing to deny, she’s not my type, leave it there so no one’s feelings get hurt, okay?” Bucky puts the bottle to his lips to shush himself when he sees you approach the booth.
“You guys look.” Steve’s speechless as he takes in the silk nighties the girls adorned. They all wore semi matching babydoll dresses. Color coded fishnets and heeled slippers adorned their long legs. Their hair was high and teased, makeup adding to the sultry bedtime look they were going for.
“You’re gonna catch flies.” Wanda remarks, leaving to find Vision having the time of his life with the DJ. Steve’s reaction to their costumes did nothing to calm your nerves. You went with the housewife costume too. Just a different approach entirely. Your hair sat in victory rolls atop your head, a thick stack of curls laying on your shoulders, a knee length dress with three quartered sleeves covered you. You’re painted your eyebrows on thinly, just to over line your lips, filling them in with your favorite red Mac lipstick. You were the most modest in your costume, but the most accurate.
You couldn’t wear a see through nightgown to the club. You would die of embarrassment, your rolls would be everywhere. At least in this thick cotton dress, no one could see the layers of shape wear you wore. You slid into the booth and sat beside Steve, getting sandwiched in when Sam finally arrives, late with no costume. “What took you so long, huh khakis?” You tease him, feeling nothing but comfort in his presence.
“You ever had to tell a 10 year old his idea isn’t good enough.” He laughs, “, You should go as yourself Unc!” He recalls the boys words over the phone. “Oh, of course, looks like a superhero to me!” You giggle, loving the thought of his nephews building up his self esteem. He was new to the team, no super strength or speed. Just courage, you admired Sam.
You finally take the chance to look around the booth. Steve wore his vintage Captain America suit, claiming it still fits like a glove. Bucky didn’t wear a costume, just his regular black t-shirt and leather jacket, no effort, even for Halloween. It helped Sam not look so out of place, so you just rolled your eyes at him. He tried way to hard to act like he didn’t care about anything, or anyone. You hate people like that, too self absorbed to carry on a conversation with someone who doesn’t benefit them.
You had been on the wrong side of his attitude before. Bumbling up to him after your first meeting. Stretching out your hand for a shake, he barely touched your hand as he shook your fingers, nodding at you with a curt “Welcome.” You didn’t think much of it till he sat beside Yelena, who got recruited the same day as you, and sparked up a lively conversation with her, telling her if she needs anything at the compound to come ask him. That was the first time Bucky hurt your feelings, and it wouldn’t be the last.
“Y/N!” Someone yells at you from the dance floor. It’s Yelena dancing alone, “You promised me a dance.” She says, holding her arms out for you. You nudge Sam on the shoulder and do the most embarrassing scoot out of the booth you could imagine. Your dress rode up in the time you’d been sitting there, causing your thighs to stick to the old leather. Your face grimaces and you peel your skin away, hoping no one noticed.
“I’m on the dance floor, as promised.” You say, holding her hands while she dances on you. “You’re gonna need to do more than stand there if you want him to notice you.” She remarks, not skipping a beat. Yelena knew you too well, she knew you picked the 40s for a reason, not going with their free spirit 60s slumber get up.
Giving her a wide eyed look, as if he heard over the thumping music. “We both know I have no rhythm, stop that.” You giggle when she presses her back against you and slides down into a squat. She goes behind you and grabs your hips, forcing you against her chest. She grinds you into her pelvis, using her hands to guide your hips in sync with hers. You never moved that way before, and the sensuality of it had your heart racing. Yelena could be anyone, tightly holding on to you, you closed your eyes and threw your head back on her shoulder, just to imagine it was him for a moment.
You feel Yelena’s lips tickle your ear and she’s whispering “Look who can’t take their eyes off of you.” You tilt your head down and open your eyes to lock them with Bucky’s. He looks angry, like you pissed in his cheerios. You turn your body around to face Yelena, “I think he’s upset I’m blocking his view from you.”. That causes her to laugh out loud, grabbing your shoulders to shake you. “You’re mad woman! Look at what’s right in front of you.”. You laugh and look behind you to see Bucky staring down his beer now, instead of you.
“Yelena, I don’t know how to put this, he probably doesn’t even go for girls like me, skinny blonde seems more his type. You, you seem more his type.” You plead with her. She just shakes her head, “He doesn’t like me, I promise, Y/N.” You nod your head, trusting the closest friend you had.
You make your way to the bar, grabbing a drink to cool yourself off. You’re walking back to the booth to get off your feet when you overhear Steve and Bucky’s conversation.
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
“You look like a helpless puppy, just make your move.”
“As if I’d need to, she’s probably never had male attention, that’s too easy.”
“Just admit that you’re afraid of rejection.”
“From her? Never in a million years would fatty have a chance. Like I said she’s obviously not my type.”. Bucky instantly regretted the words as they came out of his mouth, he didn’t mean it. But Steve wouldn’t stop accusing him of having a crush on you.
Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but you push them down. You knew better, Yelena didn’t, you shouldn’t have let her give you false hope. You choke down your pride and turn the corner, sliding into the booth as if nothing happened. “I think this is my last drink guys, I’m getting tired, and winter training starts tomorrow.”.
An echo of ‘boos’ and a “noooo why.” Almost tempt you to stay. But you know you’re not wanted here, by the one person that mattered. Steve catches your attention, “Are you sure? The nights still young.” He wiggles his brows. You give him a tight lipped smile, knowing he tried to get Bucky to make a move.
“Yeah, there’s really not much for me here. I came for Natasha.” He nods, giving Bucky a death glare. You finish your drink and when you stand up the previous shots you had with Wanda hit you. You quickly sit back down, grabbing the table for stability. “Are you alright?” Steve rests his hand on your lower back, scooting closer to you.
You shake your head, not being able to form words. You think you’d faint if you didn’t focus on breathing. “Let me help you home.” He can see the unsure expression on your face. “Wouldn’t be respecting the suit if I didn’t make sure you got home safe.”. With that he convinced you.
When the cold October air hits your face, it sobers you a little bit, taking away the dizzy feeling, leaving you with a thumping head. Steve takes a few minutes to join you outside, you left him in a heated whisper match with Bucky.
You’re leaned against the side of the building when he finds you. “Ready to go?” He offers you his arm but you shake your head. “No need to be such a gentleman, it’s just me.” You say, knowing he’s doing it just to be nice.
Steve cocks his head to the side. “Why shouldn’t I be a gentleman towards you?” He asks. You press your pounding head against the brick wall, closing your eyes to think of the right words. “The only reason a guy needs to be a gentleman is for good impressions. I highly doubt you feel a need to impress me.”.
He scoffs at you, “What gives you the impression that you’re not worth impressing?”. Even though you were tipsy, Bucky’s words seared your frontal lobe. You suddenly are at a loss for words. How do you tell him you were eavesdropping on their conversation.
“I just don’t get much male attention I guess.” You let him in, his eyes widen in realization that you heard Bucky’s harsh words. “I’m sorry about him, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” He says, stepping closer to you. You roll your eyes at him.
“No, he knew exactly what he was talking about. Fatty is no one’s type. No one looks at me and thinks “woah, the most beautiful woman in the world just walked in the room”.” You push yourself off the wall. “I understand that you wouldn’t get that, since you’re so perfect Steve. Women lay down at your feet, your options are endless. But not for someone like me.”.
Steve’s face had turned into a stone. His jaw clenched tightly. He let you vent out your frustrations. “The way you looked at the girls, the way half the club looked at the girls, I’ll never have that.”. You look at your feet and notice him take a step closer to you. You look up to see your faces not too far apart.
“I was looking at you too.” He reaches out, letting his hands hover over your waist. He rests them on your hips when your don’t push him away. “I don’t care what he said, he’s just insecure, he can’t admit that he thinks you’re hot.” You scoff at him this time.
“Steve whatever you’re doing, I get the whole nice guy thing. But just stop.” You say, pressing your hand against his chest. The thin polyester did nothing to conceal his smooth muscles. You feel him squeeze your sides tighter, his thumbs pressing into your belly. “He doesn’t speak for me.”.
You look into his dark eyes. “What are you saying?”. You’d never even humored yourself by considering Steve. You now had to rethink every encounter you ever had with him. “Forget him, let me show you how a real man appreciates a woman.”
He slides his hands down, letting them grasp as much of your ass that could fit in them. You gasp, he wasn’t afraid of your body, he knows what it has to offer. Judging by the way he gripped on to your ass like his life depended on it, he liked it.
“What if someone sees?” You say, pushing his hands off of you. He replaces them “I’m not afraid, why are you?” He leans down, connecting your lips, you’re frozen for a moment. How do you kiss him back? Before you could find out you feel a hand on your shoulder, ripping you away from Steve.
“What are you doing?” Bucky is talking to his friend, ignoring your existence. “Excuse me, we were in the middle of something.” Steve steps between you and Bucky. “You shouldn’t be out here hooking up with a random coworker.” Bucky says, trying to convince himself.
“Y/N isn’t a random coworker, Jesus Bucky, what’s your problem?” Steve asks, letting his anger show. He knew what he was doing, if Bucky wouldn’t admit it on his own, jealousy would work just fine. Bucky balls up his fists at his side “You know what my problem is.”.
You’re staring at Steve’s back, you don’t know what Bucky’s talking about. Is he so repulsed by a plus size woman, he doesn’t even want his friend with one? You were done, you’d never done anything to Bucky besides exist. He had an imaginary problem with you.
You stepped around Steve, crossing your arms in front of your chest. You don’t know where the boost of confidence came from, probably Steve’s lips and hand placement. You look Bucky up and down, truly taking him in.
He was perfect, and he knew it. It was starting to disgust you. “Just because ‘fattys’ like me have no chance with you, doesn’t mean that I’m not worthy of another man being attracted to me.” You take a step back, pressing yourself against Steve. Just to show Bucky, you meant business.
Basing it off of the hard indentation on the front of Steve’s spandex, he liked watching you tell Bucky off. You turn your body around to face him, throwing a look over your shoulder at Bucky, “Take me home Stevie.” You sing song in his ear.
A smirk falls on his lips, “Let’s do that princess.” He says while leading you out of the alley. Bucky is stuck in place, having an internal war with himself, that you weren’t gonna stick around for.
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 25 days
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these are actually super cute 🥹
Even more MCU Pony drawings
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1. Loki and Bucky Snugglng
2. Loki kissing bucky on his head
3. Loki and Bucky having a walk
4. Stony Kiss
5. Stony Make out Session
expect more soon 😋
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 28 days
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it feels almost wrong writing smut when my cat is like this next to me….. I feel like I’m being judge 😭💀
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 28 days
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I have the strong urge to write, but for the life of me I can’t. I open my phone, notebook, computer and I get one sentence in and that’s it!!!
I just lose my motivation and it sucks because I have so many smutty ideas involving Loki and Bucky 😭
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 30 days
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@amatasera @ladyofthestayingpower @lokisgoodgirl @thirsty-for-loki @loki-cees-all @mythical-magik @loki-and-randomness @obsessedwithlokilaufeyson @maiabreathesmarvel @foxherder @soulpiercing @superficialdomina @lokischambermaid @hansoeii
🔥🔥🔥
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 1 month
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Reblog if you've ever cried over the death of a fictional character
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lokiandbuckysdoll · 1 month
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The emotion in his eyes 🥺 Oh he so fucking deserved this award and I hope this is the first of many for him with this role.
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