#LITERALLY GOING CRAZY WHERE TF ARE MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick · 3 months

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Hi! Imma do something rare and actually make content, but its 11 at night and i just had a brain worm

for those of you that don’t know, i work at an accounting office. we do taxes. it is tax season. and now im thinking abt how AGSZC does taxes and what their papers are like and im inflicting it on the rest of you even if its gibberish

Angeal: A godsend. Keeps his forms in order and filed properly, calculates everything else himself like a good man. Papers honestly aren’t too bad, maybe 10-12 just because of his career/insurance plus his doubtless donations to charity, but aside from that. straightforward and done at his kitchen table

Genesis: A fucking NIGHTMARE. no doubt pays someone else to do it. and for fucks sake, i know he invests. constantly and consistently and probably in anything he thinks stands the slightest chance against shinra on the market. his 1099-B is a mess and definitely Not Totaled, so his is the bullshit you have to insert one. investment. at. a time. He’s the type that keeps fucking calling too, I can just tell. but, aside from the 1099-B, he’s probably got simple stuff as well. probably several 1099-INTs from several different bank accounts, maybe a couple 1098s floating around from vacation houses or some shit.

Sephiroth: Does his own. In ridiculously early. Makes almost no personal purchases so hardly has anything to pay. I can’t imagine not having a last name or not knowing his birthday doesn’t end up a legal problem somehow, so he likely has to walk directly into a damn tax office to say hey this is me and this is my shit no, someone isn’t stealing my identity. has one singular document and it’s his W-2. Which is. Fucking astronomical. Like, the number doesn’t even look right. His paycheck as a SOLDIER isn’t taxed, so he doesn’t really get much back on his refund. The only first without a healthcare /insurance form because why tf would Sephiroth have healthcare? What’s he gonna do, get sick?

not getting into how doing his own taxes was definitely a fight between him and Hojo at some point and ended up getting hashed out in a board room. Hojo didn’t like him having the autonomy of filing for himself instead of being claimed ad Hojo’s ‘dependent’. Sephiroth deadass threatened to go to court abt it. The President told Hojo to suck it up so they didn’t have to deal with scandal, Hojo wouldn’t tell Seph his birthday to be difficult, and here we are

Zack: Panicking. Late. Doesn’t know if his forms came in the mail, doesn’t know where he put them most of the time. Scrambles around for a fuck ton of receipts, ultimately has to request Shinra send him his shit again. DEFINITELY pays someone else to do it. W-2, 1095-A, 1099-C(s)(he has several debts i can feel it i love him but he screams bad financial decisions), probably some shit for his bike too. He customs it so I can see him listing some parts he buys for it as work expenses. Jokingly puts some money he gave aerith for flowers and what he spent to make her wagon as donations to charity and it actually goes through because the church is still considered a legal entity. Definitely has to pay late fees.

Cloud: Pays Tifa to do it. Filing for both of them is a nightmare cause all their shit burnt in Nibelheim, so once Edge gets right with the WRO they have to do all their paperwork from scratch and get reassigned SSNs. He genuinely has a fuckton of paperwork from doing the Strife Delivery Service. Luckily, only ‘employee’ he has is Tifa, and even then she doesn’t do things regularly aside from pick up the phone. Doesn’t make his business an LLC until he’s literally forced to due to his number of clients and someone trying to sue him for damages. 1099-NEC for TIfa for sure, then once he’s an LLC, some yearly maintenance to keep legal. Mileage and gas expenses go CRAZY on his self employment form, I fucking bet. I bet Cloud’s handwriting is shit tho. Tifa’s at her desk counting up his gains and losses for fucking ages because his fives look too similar to sixes. Eventually she wrangles him into installing some shit on his phone that counts it up, if only to cure her headache. Funnily enough, he does get veteran benefits from what’s left of Shinra’s shit, reparations of sorts, but he doesn’t keep it. All goes to charity, so that ends up in the books too.

alright, that was unnecessarily in depth and way longer than i planned. good night LMAO

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pumpkinsy0 · 6 months

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING PUMPKINSY0!!!💌

In honor of the THANKSGIVING DAY!!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

How about headconnons....

Of the whole gang + the Shepards & Buck celebrating Thanksgiving!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

I thought it would be funny and cute that their celebrating it all together 🎀❗♦♥📿🐞🌹🍒🌶🍷🚨🌡🎈🎴🪀📣☎🔖

ALSO THOUGHT WOULD BE FUNNY IF DARRY PUTS DALLY IN CHARGE OF THE TURKEY [BUT DALLY'S DUMBASS BRINGS A ALIVE TURKEY INSTEAD OF A DEAD TURKEY😂] TAKE YOUR TIME NO RUSH THANK YOU 🙏🏻

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

thank u!!! im not the biggest fan of thanksgiving, my mom loves it tho and so does my family so ill just base these hcs off of em

ALRIGHT SO

•the shepards!!! tims in charge of food, so hes just making haitian food cause thats like the only food he knows how to rlly make

•diri jon jon, lambi, crabs, shrimp, du riz au lait, etc etc rlly a lot of rice and sea food w one dessert

•hes been up literalally all day and night cooking god bless his soul, he did take a small break tho so its all ok

•curly aint the biggest of helpers, he doesnt rlly like thanksgiving like that but tims goin through all the trouble so might as well do somethin so hes not mad later on

•angela’s actually an angel, shes helping cut the lambi and peel and cut the shrimp what a great help in the kitchen

•the shepards r a black haitian family ik they also makin mac and cheese, BAKED☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽 mac n cheese

•meanwhile darry is cooking but not rlly, hes only handling the cranberry sauce n shit

•pony n soda r in charge of baking shit cause that’s genuinely what they’re pretty good at, and i say that a bit hesitantly bc the cookies were a lil burnt, had a lil aftertaste to em, so if they hear a “WHO MADE THE COOKIES🗣️” they silent

•buck is also making some trinidadian food!! now im not too well versed of trinidadian food so it could literally just b whatever trinidadian food u can possible think of

•EVERYONE ELSE??? just bring drinks or somethin

•dally and two bit of course brought the alcohol while everyone else just like, brought apple juice or orange juice, money dont grow on trees

•at the actual celebration they actually do play music!!! mostly caribbean BUT ALSO from other places as well!! they do not care whats on the speaker as long as its good

•ppl even brought dates!!! two bit brought marcia (she invited cheery but yknow sherry didnt wanna leave her fam), dally brought sylvia (ill get to that in a sec), and curly TECHNICALLY brought pony bit not rlly cause they were already going to the celebration so

•sylvia is ALSO haitian but shes more of a baker so she brought haitian cake, kremas, some coconut centered dish and flan 😋😋

•PERHAPS curly, pony, angela, sylvia, dally, and maybe johnny go on THAT ‘walk’ and curly comes back faded before everyone even gets their food, what a loser (i love him), angela and pony got a BIT faded but theyre alright they can generally hide it well, johnny was just there bc pony was there what a great bff xoxo

•dally saw pony gettin a lil high n went “u smoke🤨🤨🤨” but didnt tell darry or soda cause hes not a snitch he already got other things to deal w

•im not even gonna lie to to there’s probably a grown up table where darry, tim, and buck hang out and theres a “indescribable but alive” things table where everyone else is

•SURPRISINGLY NOTHING CRAZY HAPPENED, they were all chattin it up, chillin, no drama no nun, just friends, how great for em!!

•two bit and marcia were dancing most of the time

•steve wasnt rlly doin much he was just secretly making plates to take right tf back home so he dont gotta worry about what hes gonna eat the next few days

•darry actually knocked right tf out after eating so things got a BIT more unhinged but not too bad cause he needs his beauty sleep bad

•pony and curly actually ALSO wasnt doin anythin, rlly they were just in a lil corner talking, they were too full and tires to b doin allat and in curlys case a lil too tipsy cause he was drinking rum, perhaps stolen kisses were shared perhaps not, but who am i to judge

•the ONLY ones who werent being fucking calm was sylvia and dally what a shocker there🙄🙄 but rlly it was only small jabs here n there and even then they werent rlly serious thats just kinda how they do affection, god bless their souls

im doin this in the midst if my family blasting music and doin god knows what so if this isnt what u wanted im srry everythings so loud</33

#sodapop curtis #johnny cade #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #curly shepard #ponyboy curtis #purly #two bit mathews #steve randle #darry curtis #darrel curtis #dallas winston #marcia the outsiders #the outsiders sylvia

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imanes · 6 months

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omg imane hi!!! i saw ur tags about boycotting umra and hajj and i couldnt agree MORE ! this is the first time ive seen someone else say this ducjxj thank u for the validation <3 my country has fully commercialised the whole hajj/umra process that it literally costs tens of thousands to go! the idea of spending an arm and a leg AND knowing that the money is getting channeled to the shaytan in disguise tht is saudi doesnt sit right with me!! i kno its part of the pillars in islam and all but like. i would like to think that these r good enough reasons to boycott

omg some people really do try to make you look crazy for saying you don’t want to go on a PILGRIMAGE aka the most important act of religious spirituality for ethical reasons like hello?????? 1+1 = 2 and I don’t want to give my money to one of the most corrupt regimes in the world who incidentally turned one of the fundamental tenets of Islam into a touristic circus ugh just thinking about it disgusts me. every year my aunt is like when are you sending your mom to do her omra and I’m like did you think my stance changed in the last year of even more fucked up shenanigans from MBS and his regime? like I can’t believe so few people think it’s insane to pay 10k (which is I think the average price!) to go to the most important religious locus in Islam it should be a commons accessible to all Muslims tf not just the ones who 1. Can afford it and 2. Don’t give a fuck about where their money is going. Ugh. those are definitely good enough reasons to boycott imo and I’m sure there are sheikhs who have made the case but they’re so marginalised that we just have to live with our principles and hope people get with the programme some day inshAllah lol. and thank u for ur message! Just today I saw this tweet it’ll comfort you to see that more people are adopting this position:

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maxzinn · 2 months

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Omg the whole aventurine fanfic drama is still on going..but fr I'm glad some people are defending the author that wrote that harmless fic! It's kinda crazy that they would read a fanfic where reader literally just saves him and tries giving him a more comfortable life and immediately say "that's horrible! That's racism! How dare you romanticise slavery!?" Like- c'mon it wasn't even an NSFW fic! And are they just triggered because the reader "buys" him? Like would they cause all of this drama if reader like helped rescued him in other ways?

Please i can't tell you how scared I was when the author suddenly started getting backlash but then I saw your post defending them and i let out the biggest sigh of relief 😭

I just got past my awkwardness when reading aventurine fics but now seeing this mess again I'm feeling even more awkward 😭 and please the "white knight syndrome" thing is just stupid how tf do you read a harmless fic that was written with pure intentions and turn it into this???

Anyways off topic but I love your vibe! I would love talking to you about silly stuff other than this whole stupid fanfic drama!

(i don't play hsr (i don't have enough time and money okay 😭) but I've been there since the game first started and got wayyy too attached to Jing Yuan and now I'm too invested in the damn game 😔)

You said it very well anon! I just wish they stop this drama now tbh cuz it's literally pointless.

I'm so confused as to why people think that fic was to be condemned just because reader "bought him". That fic didn't even romanticize slavery or anything! The fic didn't even sexualize his slavery as well! They weren't even in a relationship nor did the reader in that fic even tried to get together with him.

Besides, I'll say it again, it was his IN-GAME lore and that author only made their own script/version where aventurine had never gone through that trauma of fighting for his life and someone was able to save him to give him a better childhood.

Even though reader didn't "buy" him and rescued him instead, nothing would have ever changed imo. I think people will still nitpick on the fact that it's a fic about slave aventurine and will still claim that it's 'white-knighting" and "fantasizing to be his savior" and all that bullcrap. (i'm really getting tired of these people turning every good intentions into something malicious)

And besides, imo, even if reader were to rescue him (in the fic) then aventurine will still be in danger and both of their lives would be at risk. Buying him is the only safest option where his previous owner won't come to look for him, and I doubt the reader in that fic even knows how to fight or murder anyone lol. I think it's the most safest, efficient, and fastest solution to save slave aventurine from the abuse. I don't like buying slaves cuz it's not right, but if that's the only safest option on guaranteeing their safety and mine as well, then I'd do it even if it's against my own morals/beliefs because I know that it was out of goodwill and not out of maliciousness.

But aside from that, I would've get it if the hate in the fic (aside from death threats) was because it was borderline romanticizing slavery and is making it nsfw where the reader was taking advantage of their roles as master and slave, but it's not that at all!

Reader was literally just trying to help him get out of his hell, yet people are accusing it as a "white-knight behavior" like pls,,, they're acting as if we're having some sinister and evil motives for reading that fic.

I get you anon, it's very awkward for me as well to read aventurine fics now cuz these people ruined everything for me. I can't believe a simple harmless fic was turned into this just because it mentioned his slave past.

(I hope you'd have the chance to play the game in the future! HSR really didn't disappoint. Even thought it's a turn-based rpg, it's still a good game and is not too far off from the other popular games! I would love for you to experience the game yourself someday and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me <33)

#literally just end this drama rn #cuz it's actually pointless #y'all do be attacking a harmless fic when there are countless others that were sexualizing his slavery which is even worse #can't people stop jumping on the bandwagon?#I hope that poor author recovers from this #they weren't in the wrong #their intentions was never bad to begin with

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izzypoopypoo · 2 months

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Ecuador

ECUADORRRR ONE OF MY FAVOURITE COUNTRIES!!!!! I'M SO FLIPPING EXCITED LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO!!!!!

Day One

Finally arrived. Starting in my wintery hometown of Coon Rapids, Minnesota, I closed my eyes and crawled until my ice-cold heart felt supple warmth. That's how I landed myself in Ecuador, located smack-dab on the equator in South America.

I felt my lobo powers brewing stronger in me than ever before, likely due to Ecuador's closeness to the moon. No other nation is so near to outer space's embrace. FUCK I love this place.

When I did dare open my eyes for the first time in moons, I was immediately met by a council made up of a jaguar, monkey, iguana, anteater, green anaconda, spectacled bear, and a fuck ton of different birds I don't even wanna get into. Apparently, that wasn't even half of the council, too. Makes sense, seeing as Ecuador has the most biodiversity per square kilometre of any country.

I had wandered into the Oriente, the eastern side encompassing half the country, yet only 5% of its population. Basically, I was in the Amazon Rain Forest.

The spectacled bear shook my hand, a common greeting among Ecuadorians. "The council really fucks with the Ecuadorian government," He informed me, "They were the first to recognize the rights of nature in their constitution."

Then, the council's birds encompassed themselves around me, forming a bed around my weary body. They flapped tirelessly for hours, travelling high elevations, before dropping me off in the country's capital; Quito.

Immediately I sensed the presence of 2.8 million people. Most of which low-key looked like me — Latino. Not like in Minnesota SMH!!! But still, a diverse population consisting of lots of people mixed with white, black, and indigenous.

I also picked up on Spanish everywhere. I'm low-key Mexican, so I can work with this. However, Ecuadorian differs slightly from Mexican Spanish, as many of their words take influence from Quechua, the language of the Incan empire that originally resided here.

My stomach's grumbling managed to overpower the noise of the bustling atmosphere. I was #HUNGIESASF!!! I whipped out my phone and googled "places to eat".

"Somos Ecuador Restaurante"… literally translates to "We Are Ecuador Restaurant." Perfect! Couldn't get more Ecuadorian.

Not ordering empanadas while in Ecuador would be demented. I ordered the empanadas de seco de pollo because I love me some chicken. Also, seco de pollo is such an Ecuadorian staple. It translates to dry chicken, but it's low-key not dry at all.

YUMMY IN MY TUMMYYYY!

OMG… okay, and then I realized I only had my tip money on me from working at the creamery back home. I was like TF do they use here, pesos??? NO! My life is actually amazing because they do use US Dollars here, so I didn't have to dine and dash!

But then, the next dilemma… that was all my money I just spent on empanadas… where am I going to sleep tonight? I buried my face into my paws and was about to start sobbing until some random man sat down with me.

Why he kinda…

"My name is Andrés. 'Tis the ninth most common male name in Ecuador. I'm here to solve all your problems."

"Really? That's my father's name. He's from Mexico. That's kinda freaky though, so I don't want you like that no more."

"Girl what… I didn't want you in the first place like what."

"OMG… this really embarrassing, get the fuck out my face."

"It's okay… anyway, I can just tell by your battered clothes and unruly mane that you don't got no place to stay. You can come back home with me if you want." Andrés offered platonically.

So that's basically how I found myself a bed in the city of Quito. Ecuadorians are so helpful and open. My neighbours in Coon Rapids are Ecuadorian, and they gave my family a bunch of rocks.

You can really see the effects of Spanish colonization come through in the architecture. Pretty though.

Day Two

In 1978, Quito Old Town was the first city to be named a UNESCO World Heritage Site. I'd be crazy not to go!!! It's the best-preserved city from back in the day in all of Latin America, despite the great earthquake of 1917. It was founded in the 16th century on the ruins of an Inca city. Shoutout to the Inca, my neighbours.

The historic district is very walkable, so I crawled everywhere. The stone beneath my paws was hot ASF, but I kinda like that.

There are churches EVERYWHERE. Like 30. And they're still in use! Everywhere you look, there are churches full of people. The churches were built with a combination of Spanish, French, and Italian aspects. These are Catholic churches, the religion brought by the Spanish during colonization.

My favourite church was the Church of the Society of Jesus, known simply as La Compañía among Ecuadorians. My jaw actually dropped when I saw this place.

This is just straight-up the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life. The vibrancy of the gold colour is ASTOUNDING!

Last photo I took before I fell through the time vortex.

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alantea87 · 2 months

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First newspaper purchase in over 10 years...

Wowsa, I didn't expect that using a Nokia flip phone would lead me to newspapers, lol. As I giggled at myself in M&S today buying this, I asked myself why tf am I even laughing? It's super normal to buy and read newspapers - like we did in pre-smartphone days. Normalising digital touchscreens have obviously made newspaper sales plummet over the past decade, which I think is quite sad. And the only people I see reading newspapers are those over the age of 30. These days, I think, being seen with a purchased newsaper (not the free ones given out at tube stations) is like an act of rebelion or protest against our obsessions with screens - you included iPad! I can't help but smile at those who clutch a newspaper while drinking a coffee on a London street (not literally, as I would have had the police called on me). All I think is: "Gosh darn it, go you! Defy those big tech companies! No cap!)

Gen Z's obsession with screens have enabled their unbiquitous use; they blend seemlessly throughout the fabric of modern life. Which in turn has created a deep-set reliance (both emotional and phsical). Though smartphones truly do have their place in society (rapid comms, mapping, safety, for certain types of employment etc), but I do forget that once you're neck-deep as a consumer in the attention-economy... the ones who truly benefit are tech companies making money from your micro-transactions or by exposing you to endless ads. This isn't new, but I always forget this and it makes me feel icky.

I miss... 1. The tangible nature of print media that you can read without fear of anyone grabbing it and running away (London smartphone mentality). 2. Being able to read a newspaper in sunlight without the need to turn up your screen brightness, or turn it down to save battery. 3. Reading detailed, well-researched stories/reports (as opposed to breaking-news with minimal facts). 4. Being able to stuff a newspaper in your tote bag and feel a bit old-fashioned sometimes. 5. Feeling offline.

This week's updates:

I've been using my Nokia 2660 Flip for three weeks, now

I can text much faster (with the aide of predictive text, which isn't perfect but always a nice compromise with not using my iPhone)

General anxiety continues to drop (I thought social media didn't really affect me negatively, but evidentally I am wrong)

I prefer writing (with bad grammer, sorry) over posting stories on Instagram - most people know that I am quite expressive/animated in person (and I enjoy face-to-face conversations much more)

I am reading more (Kindle) and listening to music most evenings to wind down (as opposed to doom-scrolling, as I literally can't)

Sleep is deeper and more consistent, less physical tension

My mind now wonders more, especially during times where I used to use an iPhone to entertain me/stop boredom. I have in fact embraced more moments of boredom and has allowed me to absorb my environment more and what is happening around me

YouTube is still social media (my brain has decided so), thus still overstimulating and kinda exhausting to use (choice paradox all over again) - avoding it most days

General focus has improved week-on-week. I am more deliberate with my entertainment options and I am fully engrossed without the sudden urge to check my phone (because my Nokia can only call and text, lol)

Planning on getting a Zach Bryan related tattoo, cos I am crazy and a fangirl. Maybe just the title of my favourite EP of his: 'Quiet, Heavy Dreams' on my inner left forearm. Some deep meaning for me there, too. But will discuss another time

Invisalign treatment will be complete by first week of July (just a few months to go!) After which I will recieve my retainers and will be sent away with full mouth-freedom. Queue the song: WAP by Cardi and Meghan #sideeye

Speak soon.

Love, Alan. x

#dumbphone #nokia #offlinelife #socialmediabreak

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skinni-girls-eat-books · 3 months

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Friday, February 23rd, 2024!

7:55am: I slept for so long and woke up with no alarms this morning :) feels amazing. Still had a huge orange chunk come out of my nose but it's less than before, I just don't know when it will stop lol (I literally had to get up while writing this and do another one). Last night I had to go to sleep unexpectedly early bc I had a milkshake and it made me so bloated omg. I think I'm officially at that age where I really can't just be eating anything 😂 of course I can bc I'm an independent woman 💅 but not without The Consequences. Also I just popped my BC in and I'm ready for my period to stop and also for the stomach issues to stop omg it's been rough out here. It really feels like spring break should be today, but the pros to it being next week are that it's one week closer to the end, I won't be on my period at all, and hopefully it will be warmer!! I'm tired of this cold ass weather!!

I feel good today besides the random brain thoughts that I don't particularly want. I need to figure out how to replace those thoughts with ones I do what. This journaling, as much ranting as it is, definitely helps me I guess regulate my runaway thoughts. I really want to take a post poop nap though those are the best so ttyl lmao.

10:47am: omg I continued to sleep until 9:50am I don't know how to explain to people how much sleep I really feel like I need. Idk it's probably depression but that's literally ok I'm just doing what I can. I still miss him and that's ok too. I don't really miss him I literally miss just having someone to talk to. But he fucked up and it's his loss, not mine. He lost a genuine person, and I lost a liar who cheats and steals money and nothing he does is genuine, it's all fake to get people to like him so he can use their shit for all it's worth. What's crazy is he's so fake he doesn't even care about these cats after he kept saying he misses them oh boohoo me it's like losing two kids, then blocks me so he'll effectively never fucking see them again. He's literally so fake AF. I take pride knowing I'm not a fake ass bitch and I don't lie to people. Doesn't matter if people believe me or not because I know I'm not lying about anything. If you think I'm lying, you just have something else going on in your life that you have to deal with clearly. This image of them getting on the bike together I think will stay with me for a while, I guess visuals are really my downfall. I know I'm the bigger person bc I literally said yeah y'all are cute together before he stopped speaking to me and everything was chill. It was chill because I made it chill. I made this entire friendship what it was and I'm really convinced of it now tbh. I don't like him, I like me and how I act towards him 😂 I like nice people, aka myself lmao.

If everyone likes me except for you.... Sorry I don't think I'm the problem boo 😘 just a matter of time before he does some more stupid shit I'm sure I'll hear about 🙄

Happy Friday!!

1:02pm ate my ramen leftovers and my boss is buying me CFA Cobb salad for work later :') people are awesome ❤️

10:09pm: JFC my feet hurt like hell. I wish I had a guy to rub my feet fr but one day lol. I just realized he didn't block me on sc so I could technically add him back whenever, I wonder if he's waiting for me to do that?? Hmmmm he's such a narcissist it's wild, plus the whole posting at me when I'm technically blocked on ig is actually crazy af. I bet $200 if he adds me back on ig that post will magically be gone or the caption would change. He's so petty and acts like a little bitch. Literally can't relate 💀

11:40pm: finished my law assignment and I'm so tired I think I'll eat my salad leftovers and literally pass out. My eyes are literally burning.

I really just be out here gaslighting tf outta myself. I'm sitting here like wowza I wish I had "guy" to vibe w me after getting done with my hw.... But it's been so long it's funny that I forget, that man in particular would NOT want to chill with me after I'm finished with my hw!! Name literally one time when he ever fucking did that?? Literally he never fucking did. I'm so gaslighting myself into thinking we'd be doing anything rn, he would've pissed me off all night and then would probably be asleep rn. There would not be random drive thru trips bc he's on a lame ass diet and won't stfu about it and there wouldn't be cuddling bc he would've pissed me off the entire afternoon sitting on his ass making fucking messes instead of contributing anything ever to the home we share and it would infuriate me!! That's not attractive 🙄 so yeah gaslighting tf out of myself to think that would be happening 🤣 it's been so long I forget how exhausting that bullshit was!! Don't go back sis you literally hated it!! Wack AF and manipulative tbh.

One day, there will be a man, he will rub my feet when I get off work, even better he'll see the insides of my shoes, know that I'm too busy/ADHD to remember to get insoles, and would surprise me with new insoles for my shoes ❤️ that's what care and love looks like. We will have a cute snack and then probably fuck before bed bc we are both grown and not scared of a little period fr, and he would get me a towel and draw up a shower for me afterwards and I'd come back into the clean bedroom with no dirty shit on the floor and get into my made bed and snuggle with the real love of my life who loves and respects me 🥰 manifesting lol 💕

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kai-wanted-doa · 5 months

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Ok so like I just watched love actually foe the first time today and I am sooooo infuriated about how FUCKING MUCH I HATE THIS MOVIE HOW IS THIS MOVIE AS POPULAR AS IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wrote A LOT I FICKING HATE THIS MOVIE I DONT LIKE TJAY IRS SOO POPUQLR

THIS IS LITERALLY JUST SOME TERRIBLE MAN'S FANTASY!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!!! there's so many red flags here. Most of the women look years younger than the men they fall in love with. There's even a scene where the prime ministers sister tells his secretary(?) (who he's in love with) that -had she been 20yrs younger, she'd definitely be his type.- also the secretary was constantly called chubby by different ppl and the prime minister was like ?????? Every time, until the end, he says "God you weigh a lot" when he catches her in his arms. Like passing this up as a joke is....not a good joke considering everyone else puts her down for it (i.e. one of their other coworkers called her -the chubby girl-, shes shared a personal story about how her ex DUMPED HER FOR BEING FAT and her DAD CALLS HER PLUMPY) LIKE YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE HER SAFE HAVEN, TEASING HER ABOUT SOMETHING EVERYONE PUTS HER DOWN FOR IS A SORE SPOT, WHY TF WOULD U POKE AT IT. also I'm assuming it was a male director, it's so toxic that they pinned her as chubby COS SHES NOT AT ALL, AND THIS IS JUST INSTILLING THE IDEA IN FEMALE VIEWERS THAT SHE IS WHAT IS CONSIDERED FAT. AND THATS CRAZY. COS SHE LOOK FINE. AND EVEN IF SHE DID HAVE MORE WEIGHT ON HER, WHO FUCKING CARES!!!!!!!

ALSO THE SCENE WHERE THE ENGLISH BOY GOES TO AMERICA AND HITS UP A RANDOM BAR AND IMMEDIATELY THERE ARE 3 WOMEN WHO AUTOMATICALLY THIRST AFTER HIM JUST BCOS HES ENGLISH AND THEY basically threw themselves at him saying stuff like -would u like to come back to our place we live together in a small spot we don't have much money so we sleep together in one bed, can't even afford pj's so we sleep naked- LIKE?!?!?!?!!! Yeah let's put some broke girls in the mix huh like literally (like 2 of the main girl characters are secretaries, one is maybe a house wife??, another i believe is tending to her phone all day for when her male boss calls her to take care of something for him work related, another worked as the main male characters maid and then she worked as a waitress so basically a lot of these roles were parts where women took care of men or their not put in higher positions in the workforce) ANYWAY BACK TO THE ENGLISH BOY IN THE BAR, THEN HE GOES BACK HOME TO ENGLAND WITH ONE OF THE GIRLS AND ANOTHER AMERICAN GIRL FOR HIS ENGLISH BUDDY, AND WITHOUT MUCH OF ANY CONTEXT, THE AMERICAN GIRL STARTS MAKING OUT WITH THE ENGLISH BUDDY RIGHT ON THE SPOT AND SAYS SOME SHIT LIKE -oo u are as handsome as they said u would be- LIKE???? WOMEN ARE COMPLETE ACCESSORIES FOR SEX IN THIS MOVIE!!!! there's barley any deeper conversation of getting to know any of the womens' personality, values, likes/dislikes, quality attributes, talent IN THIS MOVIE. it's like BODY FIRST, THEN JUMP RIGHT INTO "LOVE" WHICH IS FEELING A LOT MORE LIKE DUDES JUST NEEDING TO LET OFF STEAM FOR LUST AND SEX. it's so focused on the female body (nude scenes and one of the girls taking off her clothes before jumping into a lake while the man is just gawking at her).

And the young assistant tempting professor Snape into cheating on his wife 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ the most we saw him do was buy a gold necklace for the young assistant (which the wife found out about) THE WIFE IS DEPICTED AS A DEDICATED MOTHER TO HER FAMILY TO THEIR TWO KIDS LIKE IM WATCHING IT AND THERES LITERALLY NO REASON TO CHEAT ON HER, AND AT THE END he apologizes and SHE JUST FORGIVES HIM WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION???? the director thought, ahhh yes, the perfect wife and mother to my children, would simply forgive me after I apologize once. And she wouldn't even want to talk about it anymore, and we can go right back to the way things were. NO BITCH!!!!!! WHY ARE U BUYING NICE SHIT FOR OTHER WOMEN!!!!!!!!!+++++

AND RICK RIMES WHOS DEPICTED AS THE GOOD GUY, TELLS HIS BEST FRIENDS WIFE THAT HE HAS FEELINGS FOR HER AFTER HES BEEN COLD TO HER THIS WHOLE TIME, HE DID IT IN THE NAME OF BEING HONEST ON CHRISTMAS, AND SHE RUNS TO KISS HIM. ?????????? director man said -nah, he's a good guy, he expressed his feelings without hope or agenda, he's been cold to his best friends wife this whole time. He did his part. The wife literally PRESSED him about it. So, He deserves to still get a piece of his best friend's woman. Let him have it. It's just one kiss, and that'll be enough for him.- HE IS NOT A GOOD GUY. HE WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT TO HIS BEST FRIEND. like why did she even feel compelled to kiss him. Because he's good looking and he recorded tapes of her (literally focused on just her on the wedding day) and she was moved by that???. He's been brushing her off this whole time, what could even pull her towards him to tempt her to cheat on her husband like that. She did it, for nothing. Just because he looked her way 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ its not in the movie but U KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT ONE KISS??? THEY START HAVING SEX 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️and that's really so fucked up for her to do to her husband and for Rick rimes to do to his best friend 😮‍💨

In the name of christmas I guess 🤦🏻‍♀️ if this is ACTUALLY what LOVE is, I don't fucking want it LMAOOOO

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kulemii · 5 months

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Lover Pretend Ep. 1 Thoughts & Recap*

*(not professional by any means. some dialogue may be heavily paraphrased because i think i'm funny and i make my mama laugh*.)

Potential Spoilers Ahead

well, i've met all of the potential love interests and just as i thought from my intial card reading, my interest lies in: eiichirou, riku and yukito. no beef with the other two they just aren't my type! though, i will say, so far i do think that kazuma is a sweetheart. if you haven't read my thoughts on each character from the prologue you can check them out in the kulemiiplaysloverpretend tag.

with that out of the way, i can start rambling about episode 1! so, i wanted to write as i went along but i started super late at night and wound up falling asleep. i probably forgot some shit but i'm gonna try to hit on what stood out to me most, okay? then the rest i'll do as i go along as planned!

this chapter we followed mc and eiichirou asagi to her first day at the studio as an official staff member of "team makino". she introduces herself to two new characters (supporting cast, and actually quite literally supporting cast-- i'll get to that):

takaya hanai (40)- he's popular for being a supporting actor and never really main cast- crazy but go off king. i'm not shaming. i just thought that was funny thing to specify lmao. so, takaya is HUGE. like, his sprite is larger than everyone else's and if you know anything about me, that's right up my alley. he's super light hearted and playful. he seems like the type to try to keep spirits high and keep a cheery attitude. he's cool. he made a comment about having of money tho. and i'm like, you fine ass hell. don't make me run your pockets old man. as it stands rn, i would be his sugar baby and not care nothing bout it- MOVING ON

yuzo makino (52)- he's the director everyone's been dickriding since we started playing this game. he's got ALL the accolades apparently. i like his voice. he seems very no nonsense. he's super blunt and to the point with all of his lines. i'll be honest, he sooo.. he seems to be the type to not speak if it's not necessary to do so? because like, there have been times where i deadass forgot he was even IN THE SCENE he was that quiet. he seems to be very professional. he told mc he values her opinion and i thought that was dope because she's literally just a nobody staffer and he doesn't seem to want to treat her like that. perhaps because she's got asagi backing her? go off, sis!

so, now that i've mentioned them, i can tell you about how after meeting these two harumi tiptoes his ass in the room not wanting to speak to anybody and takaya puts him in a headlock for it LMAO. no joke.

then forces him to introduce himself to mc whilst in said headlock. oh! by the way, i completely forgot to mention, i wasn't sure before if mc was one of eiichirou's students or not- well, mc introduces herself as such. so, if it wasn't confirmed before, it certainly is now 😬

annnnnyway, after the headlock, takaya decides to shove the two kids (harumi and mc) out of the door on their first team makino staff mission: secure snacks.

and girl, tell me why 😭 tell me why mc ass was like "u-um.. snacks?? is that some kinda industry lingo?🤡" and harumi was like, "bruh nah, it's snacks. like snacks. tf ?"

oh but before i get to what happened outside, there was something about harumi i peeped that i wanted to mention! when speaking about his father, he refers to him as "Director Makino". both me and mc was like ???

idk, so, harumi seems kinda weird about his dad. riku also seems to have something going on with his dad? mc doesn't know her father! i'm getting ahead of myself but yukito's father and mother divorced when he was in junior high and his dad left him behind with his mother. idk nothing about eiichirou's or kazuma's dads yet but shit they prolly gone too and hell, my dad's dead! so, i pulled out my whiteboard, ran the numbers (by hand, mind you) and found out that THIS, this is the daddy issues game! COME ONE, COME ALL! lmaooo

where was i? ...oh! right, so, we go to the convienence store or whatever to secure the snacks and harumi and mc have The Most Loser ass interaction. they're so funny. honestly, i think making fun of them is gonna be the highlight of this game for me- if my posts are ever found by someone that likes harumi, sorry babe lmao. so basically it went like this:

H: hey, can i have the drinks?

Mc: what? no. if you're thirsty you should've gotten your own when we were in the store 🙄

H: K.

MC: *internally* omg, he wanted to CARRY THE BAGS!!!!

MC: *to harumi* earlier, you wanted to carry the bags, didn't you?

H: it doesn't matter anymore! (now carrying the bags)

MC *internally* he's nice and all but he should really work on his communication skills 🤓

GIRL! you should work on your critical thinking skills! lmao why didn't you just ask him what he meant??? why you had to grill his ass about being thirsty??? like damn 😭 wild interaction

right, so, she goes into another store or whatever and i forgot to mention that while they were walking, something apparently caught harumi's eye? so while she was in there, he dips without shooting her a message or anything to let her know where he went. when she comes out she's like ??? and LMAO she had, i think, two assumptions on what might've happened; either 1) he got tired of waiting and went back to the studio without her or 2) saw an elderly person walking (i think with heavy stuff) and went to help them. idk that was funny, like you're IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY why is that your only two options? she just assumed ol' dude is a good samaritan. haha. good for her, though. that's that pure hearted heroine shit, front and center.

well, she was WRONG. poor harumi and is being SWARMED by snakes! lmao, jk, it's worse than that, it's some thirsty bitches from this unofficial fanclub that's like obsessed with him and can't take a hint. they're all in his shit and won't leave him alone. so, mc swoops in to save the day! PRETEND TIME, BABY! if you read my prologue posts, you know, idk how routing works yet, and you also know that i do not have interest in harumi- needless to say, i did not want this to go well. i was just concerned with not giving these girls the impression that harumi and mc were dating.

like, one of them implied that if they were she'd have been STABBED by his fanclub or something???? WHUUUUUT? knifed???😭over HARUMI 👎🏾👎🏾HNNHG!

luckily i managed to pull through and mc got out with the exact amount of holes she came in with. so, she should thank me for that. then, she and harumi walked back in silence-- couldn't have been me though because i would've had QUESTIONS! because um SIR what these bitches mean, i would've been stabbed????

after they return with the snacks, they get down to business- business being looking over the resumes and then we see a couple familiar (beautiful) faces.

turns ooout, riku actually was an actor on Pretend to Love himself when he was a child alongside his father.

despite being a model whose only acting experience is limited to comic relief and cameos, yukito has name recognition by way of his father. though, it would seem that his name isn't associated with the cleanest of reputations. they call his dad a philanderer LMAO. guess that apple don't fall too far from the tree. director makino says that they even look alike, which scares me because yukito is hot. so an older version of that must be TO DIE for 🤤. i get stabbed by a fanclub over that. i will say though, although they called his daddy a hoe, they did give him his flowers and say that he was good at what he does and it was a shame he left the industry..

side note: why all the slutty boys gotta be february babies? at least they didn't make it so on the nose that they made his bday valentine's day lmaoo (i'm look at you, jinguuji)

because of the appearance of these two, mc started thinking about her MIA father again. she's not good at hiding it i guess because it got the attention of both asagi and the director. it was at this point that they asked if she was interested in anyone. i was given the choice of riku, yukito, harumi OR "no one in particular". curiosity got the best of me, so i made a save file and then chose that option to see what would happen and then, she wound up thinking of kazuma.

sooo, if i have to guess, this is where it branches off into routes? and where i choose? with that likely assumption being at the forefront, i backtracked and chose riku!

after doing so, hanai mentioned that riku had been trending lately and asagi followed up by saying that of the candidates, riku might've been the most fit option given that the director even knows of him. the meeting is adjourned. everyone goes home. eiichirou and mc have a bit of a moment, i suppose? we get a time skip!

basically, it's the day of the big audition and we get a scene between harumi and mc and i won't go into specifics about what was said because nothing really interesting happened except it does establish that harumi's has opened up more to her which is cool. also, we get this moment:

when i say, took me out-- it's not funny but like, at the same time, i was not expecting that kinda language here lmao

at some point after this, the camera man starts barking orders for someone to go and grab a tripod for him. harumi offers to do it but he's not very firm (is he ever?) and mc decides to do it herself. while she's out in the hall looking for the tripod she hears a familiar voice. this guy:

kazuma! and he and mc have a really cute moment~ ya know after he tells her, "damn b, you look like a ghost. you sick or something???" he pulls her to the side and he does her makeup for her. we get some background info- apparently this isn't his first time doing her make up. mc tends to struggle with her finances so, he would practice doing her hair and makeup at "huge" discounts and stuff. mc was being all bashful but listen, if it were me?? i wasn't even into kazuma but with the tone of voice he was using?? i would've folded HAHA i would have 😭i'm sorry bout it. it was too sweet.

nah, i say that but when given the opportunity to respond to the moment, i chose the harsher option because again- routing. annnnnd that somehow turned into mc beating on him?? lmao! she even thought he looked cool but she got embarassed and responded with abuse. sooo, that's a great look. 👍🏾👍🏾 ok, girlie, tsundere much?

ah, a little note, kazuma referred to her as "ueda-senpai" now that they're technically colleagues which i thought was super cute!

then we meet kazuma's actual senpai- she's a baddie. when girls have beauty marks on their face>>>>>>>>>:

yu kayama (27)- she was kazuma's senior in cosmetology school. she's one of the bosses at their agency and i guess kind of a hotshot? she's super hard on kazuma. she be beating his ass too. he's not getting it easy with the women in his life, i'll tell you that. she's mean af to him but she was really nice to mc. could be because she's a makino staffer but could also be because she's just a kazuma hater? i'll be watching on the sidelines with the shades on to get to the root of this. yu and mc seemed to hit it off really quick though. wanna see more of that. girlfriends when?

after this interaction, mc's break is over and she's sent out on another errand where she runs into none other than~

mr. yukita seeeeena with his hot girl shades on! mc mistakes him for a salesman of some kind and tries to blow him off but just as she walks away, she realizes that she recognizes him. so she asks for confirmation and he's actually shocked that she knows who he is... this is like the second time he's seemingly shocked about being acknowleged. idk why but that piques my interest, so i'm sticking a pin in that 📌.

anyway, turns out homeboy just wanted directions- not sell her a vase or carpet or whatever she said lmao. her assumptions about people are so funny. yeah, so, conveniently yukito is lost and looking for directions to the studio that mc just so happens to work at! he's on his way to the auditions that are being set up.

okay, so, sidebar-- this part kinda irritated me. so, mc says:

"If I recall correctly, he was on the list of candidates who passed the screening."

and let me tell you why that bothered me: she's been OBSESSING over his father for god knows how long. her heart damn near stopped when she saw his resume that first day and like, sure, i am aware she's been busy- but i find it hard to believe that she wouldn't be keeping a close eye on one of the characters who is so very close to the mystery that been plaguing her since childhood. sorry, not to nitpick and i'm not trying to rag on our girl but that was just a gripe i have to get off my chest. i dont like that. 👎🏾👎🏾hnng.

back to this, so, yukito asks for directions with the promise of some unspoken reward and mc's like, sure, uhhh, don't need whatever that is but i can take you bestie. while they're walking yukito is whining about his manager flaking on him because he got sick and mc is being kinda dry with him- which, girl, ??? you didn't like that when harumi was being cold to you. why are you suddenly incapable of small talk?? didn't like that either.👎🏾👎🏾hnng.. she deduces that yukito is "flippant" all the while gets it going with her staring problem again- this time with him AND THIS TIME, I GET IT! when yukito asks what's up she tells him he has a nice profile and he's like, "uh ya babe lol i know 💅🏻 this is me all day no filter" like...

he took off his shades and then THIS HAPPENED

and i'm just telling you right now.. IF IT WERE ME???? I WOULD HAVE FOLDED LIKE A LAWN CHAIR. but that's just me though. i don't got time to be befuddled like this, okay? he looks like he smells like sauvage by dior- i've never smelled that shit but it sounds like it smells like panties around the ankles and manicured hands on the wall, alright??? i want him, right now. LESSGO!

uhhhhh? oh! so she's like, "my guy?? what is you doing??" and he's like, "lol, what's it look like? thanking you, you silly billy 💞 so what'll it be? autograph, handshake and hug sound good for your troubles?"

mc is freaking out internally because he's all up on her and she's not really good with dealing with men. she wanted to slap him but she remembered her job, so she didn't and i was prompted to respond. now, remember: i want this man. so i chose what i thought was the best option for once lmao which was "decline politely"

this confuses yukito and he's like, "waaah? so you don't want none of that? and you know i'm famous? but... you went out of your way to help me? and you kept staring at my face?" (that last part is not me paraphrasing to be funny lmao he actually said that) he thought that because she did all those things she MUST have been a fan.

mc was like, "nah bruh. i was literally JUST doing my job. not personal interest. stop being weird." there was a silence between then yukito burst out laughing and was basically like "damn b, there's a such thing as being too honest but you funny tho. i'll give you that."

after that, it's time for the auditions! oh man, this chapter is long- idk if it's because i keep stopping to update this recap or if this chapter is vastly longer than the prologue was but damn, does it just keep going. i mean, i'm not really complaining. just an observation.

director makino is out btw and from what i took from the conversation, this is going to be a regular occurence. he's just too busy of a man to be on set of his own movie, i suppose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. so, asagi is heading up the operation with resident supporting cast sexy man takaya hanai assisting by acting or reading along with the auditionees. we get to see little snippets of some randos' auditions all the way up until candidate number 21 which isssss:

you guessed it and his appearance caused a bit of a stir amongst the panel. can you sayyyy dick riding?

apparently because he's an experienced actor unlike the last 20 candidates so far, director makino has different rules for him and others like him. those rules being that he isn't able to perform his audition with hanai, he must perform with an amateur. with this being the stipulation, hanai looks around the room and who does he choose? none other than:

me.

that lead us to a riku Pretend Time and the objective was to 'bring out riku's acting prowess' or something like that. listen, i REAAAALLY wanted this to work out. so this was the first pretend time i actually took seriously and what do you know? ya gworl got a 100% complete! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE! they've only ever said 'success' before lmao. so i guess i was just barely skirting by. his pretend time was soooo good! it had me on the edge of my seat getting to see him in actor mode! he did really well- all thanks to me 💅🏾ofc

after that was number 22, mr. yukito sena sans sunglasses. and chile, when i tell youuuu. the judges started gossiping like bitches omg. they were running their mouths amongst themselves about his father's scandal. saying stuff about how he's only there to generate buzz basically but they're sure the director wouldn't choose him. stuff like that. and i will bust up in that building with a bat. so they better take it easy on that one and treat my pretty baby with some respect before i force feed them metal.

oh, so, you know how i keep mentioning how yukito is a model with limited acting experience? well, it comes up at the audition. remember what i said about experienced actors, right? they perform with an amatuer while inexperienced ones got to have takaya hanai as an audition partner? well, when hanai was setting up to give him the run down, yukito interrupted and suggested his own rules.

he wanted to audition with mc as well. and everyone's like "uhhh???? you sure you wanna follow riku's performance by doing THAT?" and yukito's like,"lol, well. i know my performance is not gonna match up to his but i'm sure i get more pussy than he does. so it should be fine i guess.😘" and everyone just accepts his logic because picking up girls= acting in Lover Pretend apparently!

don't believe me?

so then, we get our very own yukito sena Pretend Time! i was super excited for this one and just like riku, i took it very seriously! I EVEN GOT ANOTHER 100% COMPLETE!!! it was so fun- he was a fucking psycho in his audition. he basically began by casually but vaguely talking about meeting mc out in town and then used that as a jumping off point to create a dramatic love confession scene out of it. he stressed her tf OUT! to the rest of the room they were acting, internally, she felt sexually harassed which made me feel bad lowkey because i was eating it up lmaooo. by the end of the scene asagi and hanai were happy with it and the other judges reluctantly gave him his flowers.

after the scene ends, mc is discombulated because she really thought he was trying to humilate her in front of everyone but he really was just acting. i guess he just knew he'd get authentic reactions out of her? yukito delivered some more lines to break my joints and then he returns to his seats and mc is left more confused than ever.

there's yet another scene between mc and harumi where not much happens. i mean, this isn't just my bias speaking. nothing interesting happened. like, asagi sent him out to check on mc and he did then they sat there in mostly silence and he didn't leave when she said he could. aww. great. moving on. oh, i won't be mean. there was a mention of feeling as if he doesn't belong by harumi which i'm sure we'll explore at some point later. so. i guess i lied? something did happen.

in the next scene, mc trips on something in a stairwell- it's a boy! a pretty one at that.

i was given the choice to or not to wake him. (he talks in his sleep btw) i woke him. they had a little chit chat in which she scolded him for sleeping on the stairs because he could catch a cold. it's a short interaction and honestly the only reason i'm really mentioning it aside from the cg is because mc says that she swears that he glared at her as he walked away despite him being perfectly pleasant while they interacted just before. i thought that was hilarious bc why would he glare? was he mad bc she woke him up or is hiding a secret personality? i'm intrigued! >:D

after all was said and done at work, she and kazuma walk home together and during this time, mc finally confirms what i'd been theorizing was the angle being hinted at here. amongst the LIs might also potentially be her brother.... bro :/ when she was riku's audition partner and she suggestion he play her long lost brother i joked to myself that it was "a little on the nose" but i was really hoping that this was a case where i'd be wrong- nope.

i've really been enjoying this game so far! i really have but now with this, it's kinda making me wanna put it down. granted, it's too soon to tell which direction this is going to go. there's a possibilty that amongst the three candidates, none of the men she's thinking of is her father and it's actually some rando she'll never find and lowkey, that's what i'm hoping for. or, if that's not the case, that whichever of the guys IS her brother, if he is amongst them, the route is entirely platonic turned familial but... i know what kinda game i'm playing. idk man. i'm kinda bummed. i don't like this lol fingers crossed this ends well.

ALL IN ALL: since nothing is for sure and all i can really do is theorize on how things will go and how the writing will handle it, i'm going to try and have hope that things turn around for the better since this was only chapter 1! i mean, up until the wrap up, i was reaaaaaally enjoying myself. i'd been seeing a ton of potential here. so, it bums me out to think that it's something i won't be able to enjoy because it's going in that direction. i wanna give it a chance to prove me wrong.

opinions of certain characters have changed since the prologue. i'm a little more into kazuma than i thought i'd be. idk, that make up scene was precious. i feel bad i got him beat up though. i still find riku attractive but his personality feels very.... fake, to me. it's like he's got this wall up as if he's ON all the time, constantly attempting to keep up a facade of perfection. if that's true, i reaaaally need to see what's behind that. if that's really what he's like, then.. idk. maybe i'll give him more time before i say much. yukito was the star of his chapter for me tho! everything he did had me 🥰 i am ENAMOURED. eiichirou is still attractive to me but i just wish he wasn't mc's professor. who knows maybe i'll make her drop his class or something idk. as far as side characters go, hands down, takaya!!! uogh baby he is just my type! big, burly AND HE'S GOT LONG HAIR? love his personality too. that's one hunka man. my truth? if he were an LI, i might've picked him over eiichirou. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops.

anyway, soooo yeah! those were my thoughts for episode one of lover pretend! this was super fun and hopefully i can keep playing and keep doing these. it's super time consuming but it keeps my mind busy which is just what i need right now. if this manages to find anyone- feel free to share your thoughts on this chapter of the game or the characters or whatever! but please don't spoil the chapters ahead. i don't wanna lose interest.

*she does not make her mother laugh

#kulemiiplaysloverpretend #lover pretend

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alyjojo · 6 months

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The Person On Your Mind in November 👁️ 2023 - Leo

Whole of their energy towards Leo: 5 Swords

Feelings: Page of Swords rev

Intentions: Queen of Wands rev

Actions: Wheel of Fortune rev

Oh this person does not like you. They’re pissed at you, but it’s like it’s in retaliation, they feel like they can see clearly through your bs and that’s changed their perspective to a negative one - from whatever it was before. They’ve “seen the light” in their mind. They could feel like you’re a liar, they didn’t know that before and now they know the truth. This seems to be about motives, or what you *really* want as opposed to what you led them to believe at some point. It’s possible you’ve confessed something to them, or it’s something you’ve said, not really even knowing it’s a confession of sorts. The Moon isn’t upright so they’re not just making things up in their head, it comes out as “clarity” and your messages are kinda damning where they’re concerned.

In intentions, they intend to bite your head off if you try rushing in and out of their life like you have before, it’s made them sad. They could see you as a good time but not a long time, or a selfish type of person, only after what you want and once you get it you’re gone, they’re really angry about it. True or not, this is their side of whatever issue this is, clearly a nasty conflict with 5 Swords. In action, there is no action, they’re chalking this up to a bad cycle, bad karma, they didn’t have a choice in what went on or didn’t, things are out of their hands and they’re releasing it & letting it go. What else could they do? It feels like nothing. They’re just moving on.

Messages:

Their side:

- Don’t underestimate my potential.

- How could I forgive you?

Your side:

- Obsessed with you 🤩

- Cannot Handle Reality 😵‍💫

Possible signs:

Aquarius, Pisces, Gemini & Sagittarius

If you’re dealing with:

The Hermit shows you going inward to search yourself, your intuition, and any spiritual sources you tap into - all of the answers to the questions you’ve had. It’s a very introspective time, you’re doing some inner work and growing in the meantime, probably staying to yourself more than usual. Or at least, you’re not the most open person when it comes to the people around you, or they aren’t with you. For now.

Aries - could hear news of a pregnancy, something is being recognized positively, could be having a glow up, being promoted, it’s good news

Taurus - happy to take a break for awhile, they feel like they have to be defensive or you make them crazy, could be switched, or mutual

Gemini - something or someone has caused them pain, they’re extremely cautious and take things very slow, they’re dependable though

Cancer - dating multiple people and living that yolo kind of life

Leo - could be saving money or still holds a grudge over a painful conflict they’ve had (with you?) they’re either motivated or angry due to conflict

Virgo - healing a conflict and moving forward

Libra - it’s over and one of you is stressed tf out over whether the other person is with someone new - or was it for that reason?

Scorpio - working on ways to make more money, trying to take the most logical approach

Sagittarius - what they want is unfair, could be this person, leaving behind toxic patterns, obsessions or they feel trapped, there could be any sort of addictions involved, or switch it

Capricorn - avoiding making the relationship more stable or taking it to the next level, they like to keep you/whoever where they’re at, could also be referring to a home

Aquarius - very happy & moving away from any drama, could literally be moving or traveling, probably as a group or with family

Pisces - heavily focused on their work, to the point of not doing enough for themselves if they’re not careful

#Leo #person on your mind #November 2023 #astrology #tarot #tarot blog #tarotblr

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doitytoity · 2 years

Text

8.26

He called again today. I guess maybe I should mention he called three days ago as well. I am 99% sure it is the same number that got me into this mess in January. I’m glad everything happened as it did. It forced me out just in time. Nothing would’ve fallen into place the same way and even though things are hard, and far less than ideal, I needed this. I needed some time to not be stressed about money. I needed some wiggle room.

Still a mess though. Still such a nightmare. At this point (the dolls are the dolls) it’s the brazenness for me. Like how are you even fixing your thumb to dial my shit bruh. It’s so far beyond me it’s mad. The trying to follow jonny too like DUDE. You didn’t listen to me ever huh. Like ever. Only thing important to you is this pussy and controlling it. You just gotta figure out if imma give it up or not and omg like it has literally less than zero to do with you. It has noooooooothing to do with you like it couldn’t possibly have LESS to do with you. I just don’t wanna be out here fucking like that especially not with the likes of fucking jonny torres who has never given me anything solid stable or noteworthy in my life like BRO provide for me and I’ll do whatever you want lmao get real

I’m not no lick and a promise ass bitch!!!!! Pony up knucklehead. Make them pockets hurt. Buy me some flowers and one of them pizzas you been talking about, sign the lease and let’s get to it 🤣🤣🤣

But no. No one’s out here looking for morals it seems. And that’s absolutely fine because that means I’m left to my own devices, probably gonna make some dope shit, blow up somehow, and leave the sucka shit to the suckas!!!! I’m about to be the new he’s just not that into you lmao no box office necessary bae I’m just gonna be out here flapping my gums doing stuff I care about and everyone is going to listen and love it and get their life watching learn with confidence instead of shame!!! Because that’s hella important and something I wish I’d harnessed sooner.

It’s amazing. Don’t get me started on my mother. Crazy the compassion she can have now for my brother but when I was struggling with heartbreak literally any of the times it’s all my fault and there was so much I was doing wrong and blah blah blah. I resent that so much. I resent that she feels like it’s okay to be like “I dropped out of two classes when I first started college because my birth control was making me sick because I had just moved in with a 33 YEAR OLD MAN AND HE WAS FUCKING MY DUMB TEENAGE BRAINS OUT” like ew. Like literally ew.

I don’t get either of them it’s so hard to sustain feelings of love understanding or compassion for them. Because they’re both just… flawed in a way that I hope to avoid by that age. Like I get that we never stop growing but goddamn allah grant me some mirrors for my fucking blind spots okay because to be as painfully stupid at their big ages would just be a fucking waste imo.

Anyway. Idk what makes izier think I’m literally ever going to pick up. He must think me taking him off Spotify was a cry for attention. Boy if you don’t just listen to music and get tf on. Suck my dick. You fucked me over so hard. The lie about the small red speaker like I hope you get hit by a train. Yes over a $50 speaker. Yes. Because it’s the principle.

God I just really do…. I hate men. I do!!!!!! Like where are the ones who will legitimately always buy me flowers and like simp hella hard? Like where is that? Where is someone who wants to spoil me? Where is that person? That’s who I’m trying to meet. I’m trying to meet a big old simp who is stupid romantic and stupid generous. And loyal and cool af, Who likes to eat and always brags about how good my cooking is. Who makes a huge deal about how no matter what kind of food I make even if it’s not of my culture I cannot miss. Someone who’s like nah no one cooks like my girl she can make Indian food she can make Mexican food she can make Asian food she can make it all and it’s always good. Someone who always tells me I look beautiful as FUCK at all times. Someone who recognizes how hard I go as a support system.

Someone who…. I want to do all this stuff for. Someone I respect. Someone who respects me and goes out of their way to show that. Even if it means we don’t fuck for a long time. Even if we don’t fuck until we get married or some shit. Cause like I’m really not in it for that. I don’t want someone who’s in it for that. I want someone who doesn’t make that the center of what’s happening. Someone who can acknowledge that being centered and balanced and equal spiritually is so much more lit than just being able to cum with each other. Like ew!

I want to know you want me for life. My body’s gonna be old one day. Are you with me or are you with my body. Nah you’re with me or it’s fucking curtains. Period. Bye.

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wickedghastly · 4 years

Note

Where can I find info on princess nokia blackfishing? I thought she was Afro latina, im not saying she isn't blackfishing I just want to find more info on it

I have no idea how long ago you sent this but:

Literally if you just look at images of her you can physically see her morphing herself over the years into looking Black.

I had to research/come to the conclusions and look for this all myself. Some keywords that might help is that she used to go by themermaidgirl and wavyspice with the word tumblr on google (those were the names she went by before she switched to princess nokia.)

On her Blackfishing:

I basically found out through google after seeing what she looked like in her infamous “so juicy so fertile” Vogue video that she Blackfishes because I noticed she obviously uses tanner (Face lighter than body with different tones). I started googling her old pictures and social media names and...yeah here we are.

She deadass darkens her skin artificially, wears fake Afro wigs, and gets lip injections to make herself look Black, and is lying about being AfroPuerto Rican, she’s been lying about being Indigenous as well.

How you go from this:

To this:

Her own ex-friends have said she’s not Black and called her out for it. Actual Taino Indigenous people have repeatedly called her out for lying about being Taino.

If you look at pictures shes posted of her family literally none of them are Black. They’re more than likely white or majority white/mestize. None of them in Puerto Rico would be considered Black. None of them. Like my mother’s family is literally all very much white Puertoricans who come from white European colonialists in PR, and that side of my family look JUST LIKE the people in these pictures. She’s not ambigious mixed Black, she’s straight up Blackfishing and pretending to be Black.

She is literally mestiza/white Latina cosplaying Afro-Indigenous Latinidad. Like straight up fucking cosplaying being mixed and cosplaying being spiritual/in Afroreligions.

Like who tf sits there for instagram smoking cigars with a golden headwrap showing the viewers a Yemaya oracle card like she’s really doing something except for people who are using ATRs and shit for social media clout liiikkeeee.......She can smoke all the cigars she wants, that’s not gonna make her AfroPuertorican or Afrotaino for shit. It’s fucking embarassing.

I swear the reason she’s always going on about being mixed Afro-Indigenous is because in Latino culture, including PR culture, there’s this incorrect idea that we’re all European/African/Indigenous, therefore any Latino can claim Afrolatinidad. Obviously that’s not true. But I’ve even heard this stupid shit in progressive/activist circles.

And with ATR/ADRs and Brujeria becoming more visible and popular in recent years, why wouldn’t she jump on it to capitalize off the craze, considering that’s what made her popular? So I deadass wouldn’t be surprised if this is why she tries saying she’s Black when clearly neither she nor either sides of her family are any sort of Black Puertorican. But she’s been called out for this shit so many times, nobody can say she’s just ignorant, at this point she’s been telling people straight up lies.

She wears Afro styled wigs and then lies about it being her real hair. And people have apparently called her out before but she was adamant that its her real hair. You can tell that its not her real hair, and that her actual texture is wavy, not curly.

Those are all wigs. All 3 of them in the images. You can literally tell they’re wigs. Esp in the middle/second pic, look at those roots. You can see the braids underneath and how the curls aren’t actually connecting to her scalp. Bc those are fucking wigs. Even in the bruja video, she was wearing a fucking wig.

Why do you think she goes from a light tan, to a much darker warm almost orange shade, to a neutral medium shade, back to a super dark but more olive/green toned shade? Because that’s not what her actual color is.

Have you noticed how in a lot of photos of her, her skin is sort of patchy with random spots, or her face is super pale without makeup compared to a much darker body, her body most times being a much darker color than her hands? Why sometimes her nails look dirty?

It’s literally because she uses artificial tanners/spray tan on her skin. She’s always a different shade because it goes between being fresh and faded or she switches up the brands/colors/products she’s using.

Like look at her fucking hand compared to her face (and check out the injections) like wow:

She gets mad fucking CCs of injections into her lips to make them look fuller than they actually are. And she’s been getting it done for ages. In recent moments she’s been doing.......alot.

She’s 100% A Blackfisher like it’s fucking crazy because I didnt know that wasnt what she naturally looked like. honest to god this had me so fucked up and I’m still so fucking mad over this. I had heard people repeatedly saying she wasn’t Black and figured it out through just searching up on google. She’s absolutely fucking wild for profitting off of the idea that she’s AfropuertoRican and acting like shes supposed to be some sort of representation for us when she’s been fucking lyinggggg. Faux-spiritual and faux-Black as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucckkk and making money off of it.

I even saw that she apparently tried to argue with a visibly Black woman who was calling her out, that the Black woman’s skin looked fake and orange and was probably a tan on twitter. Like. GIRL GET AWAY FROM THE MIRROR BECAUSE....

She’s fucking WILD.

#i was sooooo mad/sad when i found out #and put two and two together #like deadass fuck her #wg.personal

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obeiii-mee · 3 years

Note

Hello! Can I request an hc about a shady MC who's not phase by anything in Devildom with the brothers (and Diavolo?? he deserves love!!!)? Like, when Luci's like "i CaN KiLL yOu hUmAN", MC's reaction was like "Oh... congratulations then." i need more shady mc who may or may not be planning to ruin your life😂😂 Thanks and take care!!❤❤

The Brothers + Diavolo with an MC that is not phased by DevilDom

__________________________________

Pls I need more shady MC, they would not take any shit from the brothers. Put any Gen Z-er with these guys and you’ve got yourself a suicidal and reckless human exchange student.

They wouldn’t know what to do with one of those ahaksbakanhaka you’re right, Diavolo deserves all the love >:(((((((

You better take care too >:( thanks for sending me this big brain request. I’ve been preoccupied with other projects so I took a while to get to this ask. Hope you’re doing OK💙

____________________________________

Lucifer:

-He thought having a human exchange student was going to be bad enough as it is but this…..this was so much worse than he could have ever imagined

-The moment you arrived, he already knew you were going to be a problem child and a persistent one at that

-Literally the first thing you asked him was : “Why do you look like an off-brand Levi Ackerman?”

-And he was left there, astounded, confused and offended because he had no idea who you were talking about (cuz at that point you hadn’t met the third eldest) and the tone you had was, frankly, pissing him off

-You kept wondering off on your own????? Without looking like you gave a shit even though you almost walked into a butcher’s shop that specialises in human meat???? Tf MC?

-Also really irritated that you couldn’t be intimidated and that DevilDom was like a playground to you, for some reason? Like, MC get out of the fiery pits of eternally tormented souls- this is Hell, not the McDonald’s ball pit ffs

-Things did not improve for him lmao, by the end of the first week he had already ripped out a good chunk of his hair because of you

-“MC, you should know by now provoking demons like this for no good reason is only going to make life harder for you. Keep this up and you’ll get killed in no time because of your behaviour.”

-“Great, can we have a hip-hip and a hurray?”

-In the span of one day, he’s had to come to your rescue six times (approximately) because you’re too nonchalant about your surroundings around literal creatures of hell

-He doesn’t have enough coffee or will to live for this bs

-“Lucifer, I found this dead plant and brought it here because it reminded me of you.”

-“…..sigh. Why? Why does it remind you of me?”

-“Because it’s cold and unresponsive.”

-He made the consecutive decision to ignore you

-(low-key kept the plant tho)

-Honestly, you get on his nerves a lot and he has definitely contemplated killing you in the past but at the end of the day he really can’t bring himself to do it

-We both know he tried a few times lmfao

-“I will tear you limb from limb, human-“

-“Can I finish my tea first.”

-“You…wait, what?”

-“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting this tea get cold. Try to kill time before I’m done and I’ll smash this cup against your head.”

-If you try hard enough, you might even elicit a laugh out of him, especially if your shadiness is directed at any of his brother which results in him patting your head affectionately

-Nowadays he’s just concerned because you seemed to have made an alliance of sorts with Belphagour and Satan and that’s not a good sign

-For his sake, if not yours, at least try to survive the year without getting chomped on by a random demon please

-He’s too stubborn to let you die just because you’re unbothered by everything so cut him some slack and help out damn it

Mammon:

-“Oi Lucifer, how come I’m stuck babysittin’ this stupid human?”

-“And how come I’m stuck with this asshole for a tour guide, with his fake ass designer shoes and no brand sunglasses. That’s a lot of smack talk from someone with crow shit stains covering the back of his jacket. Also, did you stick your hair in a bucket of mayonnaise?”

-……..

-He was so offended lol

-Normally, humans like you cower in fear whenever demons are as much as mentioned because of the whole “I can eat you whole” thing

-And here you are; insulting the Avatar of Greed and one of the princes of Hell himself just because you didn’t like his attitude

-Don’t worry tho, he warms up to you in less than a fucking month simply because you still come to his rescue whenever his brothers start insulting him and wow, look at that, his heart is now combusting on the floor

-“Y’all have no right to criticise Mammon when he has the most self control out of all of you.”

-“Since when does Mammon have any self control? He can’t keep himself from nicking anything that looks shiny.”

-“Motherfucker, I don’t see him trying to choke me to death, respectfully pls shut the fuck up. I don’t want to say I have favourites but if I do, it’s definitely him.”

-While Mammon’s in the background, with hearts instead of pupils in his eyes like ❤️👄❤️

-He doesn’t even mind running around after you anymore (will still complain about it though because your ass is in constant danger and he’s had enough)

-Honestly, you keep starting shit with random demons, some of which are quite powerful mind you, and you don’t back down even when he’s there to step in

-Would low key love to watch you fight one of your classmates at RAD and organise a ticket selling booth for the event but Lucifer will hang him a new one if he does

-So for now, he sticks to baring his teeth at the aggravator in question and you’re there, giving the same demon the middle finger

-The way you sometimes match his energy gets him so hyped up lmao

-“Mammon, did you steal Levi’s money again?”

-“T’s none of her business human. Now go away, shoo!”

-“Bitch, don’t ‘shoo’ me, I ain’t a bird. Now tell me, did you?”

-“…..Why do you ask?”

-“Because a new flavour of instant noodles just got announced, called ‘Super Hell-Sauce Flavour’ and I thought you might be more interested in that than wasting the money on gambling.”

-“….ok but only if you come with me to buy some.”

-This…this is true love right here

Levi:

-Oh no, now there’s two of you

-Why do I feel like his energy would match MC’s almost immediately? Maybe it’s because he spends too much time in his room on the internet like the rest of us do

-“What do you want, you stupid normie?”

-“300…..”

-“….300 what?”

-“300 mangas collected, thousands of episodes of anime watched, over 60 character figurines, plushies, body pillows, merchandise and several posters only to be called a fucking normie by a demon weeb that’s only known me for 10 minutes.”

-Boom, instant friendship

-He becomes attached to you almost immediately and now that he knows how unphased you are by DevilDom, he is seriously worried

-Hell, you’re making him consider going outside his room just to make sure you’re alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere because you decided to get on someone’s nerves that particular day

-Even during the quiz thing, when he almost kills you, you’re just sitting on the floor and awkwardly watching him as he throws a sissy fit

-Levi feels sort of conflicted with you because one one hand you’re good company and he loves having you around, you’re his Henry after all

-But on the other hand, you put yourself in so much danger it makes him paranoid so often to the point where he wants to keep you locked in his room and wrapped in bubble wrap

-Nearly had a heart attack when you almost walked right into a pit of lava like MC???? This isn’t one of his video games???? You’re not gonna respawn if you die????

-Besides all that, he gets a bit jealous of you confidence and your ability to just do whatever without fearing death or consequence

-“MC, how do you do it?”

-“Do what?”

-“How do you go about your life without a care in the world?”

-“I guess I’ll tell you my secret Levi. I’m not like other humans that’s why, I’m just so unique I do things differently.”

-“You sound like a pick me-“

-As long as you’re OK and not injured because of your carelessness, he’s indifferent about your behaviour and will even applaud you for your bravery when it comes to this sort of thing

-“lmao the human exchange student just dumped Solomon’s cooking in the trash while looking him dead in the eye 💀💀💀”

Satan:

-Your attitude towards DevilDom and demons in general kept him entertained, if nothing else

-You rarely seemed to consider how much of a threat that place really is and usually you were just running around, completely ignoring Lucifer’s rules and doing your own thing

-Which, you know, he’s all about

-I can’t say there were no incidents between the two of you

-With his short temper and your tendency to say things without caring about the consequences, there were definitely moments when he might’ve snapped on you

-“MC for goodness sake, what happened to my room?”

-“What do you mean?”

-“It’s an absolute mess! I just told you to bring me my spells and curses book, not mow through everything!”

-“It’s not my fault this place is built like a fucking labyrinth. You should be grateful I went to get it for you at all, I almost tripped and died several times on my way back. Also, you should get a new ladder for your shelves. It did the broken.”

-“MC….”

-“Yes?”

-“You are so lucky I love you.”

-Other than the fact his anger takes over him when things like these happen, he not so subtly encourages you to keep going because seeing Lucifer scowl at your antics gets him wheezing his lungs out

-I like to think Satan would be very impressed, even in the beginning, at the amount of nonchalance you can radiate at times

-I mean, you sure as hell don’t see it often and he loves how unpredictable you are more often than not

-If anything, he should probably thank you-idk how, but his patience has increased significantly every since you got here and he appreciates having some more control of his emotions

-“I’m gonna go put oil in Lucifer’s shoes.”

-“Do you have a death wish?”

-“Satan, I am old enough to make my own decisions and I concluded that this action is necessary.”

-“Necessary for what?”

-“Raising everyone’s morale! All of you seemed to feel down lately so I thought this would be fun for everybody!”

-“Except Lucifer, right?”

-“Except Lucifer. He grounded me from my D.D.D like I’m a fucking teenager who needs to be supervised-pssshht, I’m the most responsible one here.”

-“Yes clearly.”

-“Goodbye dear Satan, I may die today. But it’s for the greater good! (Dramatic exit with sound effects)”

-“WAIT MC!”

-“(pops head back in) yes?”

-“May I offer you my assistance?”

-You’re basically taking turns pranking his brothers and it’s hilarious

-Satan is not too worried about your well being simply because he knows his siblings and him are always going to be nearby to save you if you pull something stupid again

-Even so, he checks up on you throughout the day; just to make sure

-“Where were you?”

-“Running from a bunch of demons. Who wanted to go munchy crunchy on me, I assume.”

-“……”

-“Either that or people here are a lot friendlier than originally expected.”

-You can be such a handful and it really tests him, especially when he’s angry enough to begin with

-But despite your amazing talent at either getting completely lost around Hell, purposely walking into a prohibited place just because you felt like it or riling up others with how blunt you are, he still cares about you deeply

-You may be a pain the ass, but you’re his pain in the ass <3

Asmo:

-He should’ve known something was up with this particular human when you stood there, completely calm and collected, while Beel salivated at the thought of eating you on your first day

-Asmo just brushed it off for a while but it kept happening???

-The first time Lucifer ever told you off, you really went and said “Or what? Are you going to eat me? If so, you can go ahead and start with-“

-He came to your rescue and covered your mouth before you got to finish and before Lucifer unleashed his wrath on to everyone in that house

-“OOPSIE! I think MC has been spending too much time with me. Sorry Lucifer, we gotta run now! We have a party to attend, don’t we MC darling?”

-“You mean the one hosted by the guy that tried to kill me because I shoved into him on the hallway at school and then proceeded to tell him to go fuck himself right back into whatever hell hole he was born in before you came and charmed our way out of it?”

-“Yes.”

-“Ah OK. “

-You’re tiring for sure but you’re not exactly unlikeable

-You have a certain charm hanging about you that Asmo loves

-“I almost died like…30 minutes ago.”

-“WAIT WHAT?? WHY?? WHAT HAPPENED-MC ARE YOU OK???”

-“Yeah, I almost drank some poison today because someone told me it was water. It smelt off though so I didn’t.”

-“….”

-“Anyway, I got you this bracelet on my way home.”

-He really does wish you would take things a bit more seriously

-This is your life on the line, you know? What would he do if you died?

-“MC, you’re not immortal, you can die so much more easily than I can, you know that right???”

-“I don’t care.”

-“Well I do! And you should too….”

-A lot of people don’t see past his vanity tbh, because he can be such a caring person towards the people he loves

-The amount of videos he has of you appearing to be completely calm while pure chaos is descending in the background is pretty impressive

-Every time he uses his charm on you to try and get you to commit his sin, it just doesn’t work???? For some reason???? And even if it’s just with simple, innocent affection for now, he is determined to tempt you into it

-“MC~gimme a hug!”

-“But that’s social interaction and I don’t support it- do you have a charger for my D.D.D by any chance?

-Or at least die trying to ig

-Asmo loves having you around but you’re giving him wrinkles and that’s not okay >:(

Beel:

-The moment he realised how carefree you actually were, he sort of started checking up with you quite frequently throughout the day

-It’s his way of protecting you but if he could, he would follow you around all the time

-Becomes your body guard because you may not care enough about your safety but he certainly does so get ready to be carried everywhere

-You will not get hurt nor will anyone mess with you if he has a say in it and let me tell you, he does

-Thing is, his brothers mostly know him for being slightly dense in some aspects of day to day life

-He’s not perceptive of things that don’t involve food or his loved ones

-And because you most definitely are a loved one of his, he does notice how careless you are really often

-And it scares, rather worries, him because DevilDom is an incredibly dangerous place-even with all the precautions they had taken when you came

-“MC get down, you could fall.”

-“But Beel, look-I’m finally taller than everyone else! Taller than you even! Hey, should I do a backflip?”

-He has no idea why you thought jumping from 60 meter high cliff into a small river of squashed demon blood was a good idea but he wasn’t going to risk anything just because you felt like showing off your diving skills

-Proceeds to carry you away, completely unfazed

-In this case, I feel like Beel is not someone who gets bothered by the horrible things happening around there either

-As long as he has food and his family is safe and happy then he’s also happy, as mentioned above

-But he knows he’s alright with DevilDom because he’s been living here for centuries now

-A bit curious as to why you’re so unbothered

-And even more curious as to why you weren’t terrified of him transforming in his demon form after he lost control when he found out you ate his pudding

-Or more like Mammon did and pushed the blame on you

-“YOU. ATE. MY. PUDDING!”

-“Beel I love you but if you did not just see Mammon shoving the damn container in my mouth two seconds prior to this, then you might need glasses.”

-He apologised to you later for it but even so, you didn’t seem to mind like at all and he didn’t really understand why

-Unless you end up explaining why exactly you feel so indifferent about your life being in potential danger, he won’t really pry

-But now he has even more reason to follow you around like a lost puppy

-Since it’s clear you don’t really care about protecting yourself

-So now it’s his job to do it

-MC protection squad? Mostly Beel and Mammon

-ahhh he cute

Belphie:

-Oh

-You piss him off so much

-He’s trying to have his moment, you know?

-Finally getting that glimmer of satisfaction after killing a human as a way to avenge his sister’s death

-Trying his hardest to make it as miserable as possible because he has so much rage in him, he needs you to suffer

-“Harder Daddy-“

-“Oh fuck off.”

-Nah but for real, what the fuck MC

-Why does he even bother, he feels like he should be sleeping instead of dealing with your bullshit

-Even afterwards, when your future self shows up and he tries to kill you again, you look more thoughtful than irritated???

-Lucifer and Beel are literally holding him back from doing another Chocky on you and you’re standing there, looking at him with your eyebrows raised

-“Hey Belphie, I have a quick question. I know you’re trying to kill me and everything but do you like the colour blue?”

-“HUH??!?!”

-“It’s a simple yes or no question Belphie. Do. You. Like. Blue?”

-“WHAT DOES IT MATTER???!!!”

-“BELPHAGOUR, AVATAR OF SLOTH-YES OR NO, JUST FUCKING ANSWER!”

-“YES! FUCK YOU!”

-“Ah ok thanks. I like blue too :)”

-????????????

-Pls he felt like sticking his foot down your throat

-As of late, he’s kind of glad he didn’t manage to scare you away that day and that he didn’t traumatise you or something

-At the time, he was mad because he didn’t understand why you weren’t scared but now he just wants to make it up to you

-“You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry MC, I won’t blame you if you decide to stay away from me now.”

-“Stfu dipshit, what’s gotten you so depressed? Did you have another fight with Beel? I told you not to eat the last slice of cake.”

-“Rude ass, I was trying to apologise for my past mistakes-let me repent will you?”

-“Said no demon ever. Now let’s go hang out you emo bitch.”

-Y’all vibe together on a spiritual level once that shit gets sorted out

-But he’s kinda scared you might pull out a knife on him ngl

-Obviously, you’re still annoying as fuck with that indifferent attitude of yours but he can live with it

-He appreciates the fact that you’re not scared of him, even after what he’s done

Diavolo:

-Ah yes, the future King of DevilDom himself

-He’s very enthusiastic about the idea of you having fun this year…..and to keep you alive….

-He, of course, expected a range of reactions from you when he first summoned you here

-None of which were “Ok but could you not have given me a heads up? Before the whole teleportation thing? I face-planted your onto marvellously polished the floor and now I think I lost even more brain cells than before.”

-He felt so bad gagajajahahwgehhsb

-He apologised for bringing you out here without any warning like that and then proceeded to introduce you to everyone

-Diavolo is actually kind of relieved to see you’re handling everything pretty well

-He thought that maybe DevilDom was too much for a human to deal with

-Meeting Barbatos also went incredibly smooth

-“Barbatos? The one that cleans the floors right? Big fan of your work, I could eat off the floor of the main hall.”

-He’s so glad to see you getting along with everyone and not getting intimidated by the brothers

-It gets him excited thinking about how the exchange program is gonna work and all three realms will be united

-But he’s not stupid so don’t think he’ll allow you to stumble around, getting up to all sorts of mischief

-He always has someone watching you because he would hate to see you die, despite being pretty fond of your carefree attitude

-“MC, please be careful. Most demons here aren’t all that nice.”

-“Aye aye Captain.”

-He fears that many demons would take your indifference as a challenge and try to assert dominance or something by kidnapping you

-As far as creatures of hell go, they love installing fear in people

-So he always keeps an extra eye open for you

-And he’ll be there to help you if something goes wrong

-But other than that, he’s pretty chill as well and he finds you so hilarious, it’s been a while since he’s seen someone as eccentric and dramatic as Mammon and Asmo

-Idk what else to add here, Diavolo is very accepting and as long as you don’t get hurt, he’s glad you can get used to your new surroundings so easily

———————————-

Al~

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wh6res · 3 years

Text

WHEN YOU FIND OUT HE HAS AN ONLYFANS BC HE ACCIDENTALLY CASTED HIS LAPTOP SCREEN TO THE SMART TV

feat. the ‘00 line : tw suggestive

✰ — RENJUN is mortified. wtf his screen turned black right as he was cropping off his face from the video of himself masturbating in the car, where he does most of his onlyfans content bc duh he can’t do it in the apartment. you were always straight home after classes. a homebody. he cant just splay himself on the bed and moan and whine loudly to his heart’s content or else you’ll hear him and god no he’d rather die than you finding out he has an onlyfans. but just as he was furiously pressing the space button of his laptop to get it work somehow, your head pokes inside the door. “uhm, renjun i think you accidentally casted your screen on the tv” “ha ha what? no i did not” and right on cue, he hears the very distinct “ugh baby bet you want this cock in your mouth don’t you? i do too” coming from the living room and his cheeks were tinged red when he fell to his knees. “yn please let me explain!”

✰ — JENO is proud. you and him are quite close, he wouldn’t call it being bestfriends but still, he’s comfortable in your presence and so are you with him. its not that he’s keeping his onlyfans a secret, it’s just you never really asked anyway so he didn’t tell you anything. you and him were chilling in the living room like always. just you getting some readings done on the coffee table while he edits his pictures on the sofa. he had his earphones on and everything and was just doing quick last touchups for this latest nude pic he’s going to post tonight. just when his laptop screen turned black, the smart tv opened on its own, you and jeno’s eyes widened questioningly until there it was. his nude pic; standing before the gym’s locker room mirror, holding his hard dick on one hand, phone on the other, with his tongue teasingly peaking out. “okay but can i see the real thing right now?” jeno doesn’t let the shock paint his features. simply, he smirks.“fine but no drooling”

✰ — HAECHAN is shameless. he’d be kinda confused as to why his laptop’s screen suddenly turned black on him while he’s editing the audio for a new video he’ll be uploading in the weekend. he’d be plugging up his laptop charger bc he thought the device was drained, until he heard slick sounds and his moans coming from the living room. where you were. holy shit. when he bolts out his room, he finds you choking on your chips, sat upright on the couch as you can’t even take your eyes off the screen. he was going to apologize but when he saw the pink tinge on your cheeks and the way your legs clenched as you watched the video of him jerking himself off, he didn’t feel sorry. “are you that fascinated that you can’t take your eyes off my cock, baby? there’s more where that came from” and when you shyly waddled inside his room well... “hey wanna make a sex video with me? we can split the money”

✰ — JAEMIN is clueless. so like jeno, jaem over here isn’t going crazy trying to keep his onlyfans a secret. he wanted to tell you initially about it but the topic was never breached in everyday conversation until eventually he forgot to tell you about it completely. he had been streaming live that night until his toe might’ve accidentally pressed the button that said screencast just as he was about to cum all over his hands. meanwhile you in the living room, raised an eyebrow when the movie cuts and you see him on screen, right when he says “i wish you were here with me. your pussy would feel amazing choking my cock” when his stream was over, he hears a knock on his bedroom door and he immediately put his pjs back on before opening it. “hey jaem thanks for free content, thats some good stuff you have there. maybe i can join in sometime, okay thats all i have to say! bye~” “uh wait hold tf up what do you mean”

✰ — YANGYANG is relieved. okay so yeah he’s keeping it a secret but only because from what he remembers, you were always more on the conservative side. bb is scared you might kick him out if you find out he’s a content creator at onlyfans. okay definitely, his secret keeping needs a little bit of work because he literally left the tab open, right on his profile. you and him were working on a project together and you had insisted he casts his laptop screen on the tv for the presentation file and boiiiii he accidentally casted the wrong tab omfg im dying. his fingers trembled trying to find the uncast button as the most recent video he posted autoplayed “hey babe, you back? daddy’s been waiting for such a long time i missed your sweet pussy” but he pauses when he hears you laughing. “omg yangyang! i cant believe you have a daddy kink wtf!” well at the end of the day, he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to hide it from you anymore and he can still live here.

✰ — SHOTARO is cheeky. okay if yalls think he’s going to be all innocent and embarrassed and soft uwu about the whole thing lmao hell no. i dont think he is. i bet he’s hiding all that sexayyy charisma under that cute face and it’s also probably why he’d have a hoard of people on his onlyfans. addicted to the contrast of that cute, soft voice of his going deep and domineering when the led lights in his room turn red. okay so you were running around the room almost late to your appointment when he “accidentally” hits screencast on his laptop. and suddenly the smart tv opened and he tried gulping down his laughter when you literally stopped in your tracks and watched the video of him unfold. “i bet baby’s laying down right now with her fingers shoved inside her cunny, getting off at the sight of my cock, hm slut?” your eyes widened like saucers and shit your pussy just clenched. “taro wtf is that-that you?” “i don’t know, why don’t you come here and find out, baby?”

headcanon reqs are open bitches !! had so much fun making this lmao idk alot abt onlyfans so im sorry if some of the details are wrong :'>

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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

Note

ok i've come to scream about two things:

(spoilers for season3)

1. S3 IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE INVOLVING MAMMON AND MC LIKE?? when he and mc go to buy medicine and food for everybody??? and spend the whole morning together?? its just so *chefs kiss*. i literally daydream about that day and more little moments they could have spent. i also really love how this time MC had the chance to be jealous!! i just love their relationship to bits and the bond they have. they are so close — even if you don't view the romantic attraction. i think that's my favorite thing about them because they would work so well even if their bond is solely based on friendship. it would be still as strong

2. i've read Familiar Strangers and i was smiling the whole time let me tell you. it felt so warm??? it made me feel so much better after a bad day so thank you so much. also the yearning MC had while talking to him in his angel form and Mammon also feeling a strange pull towards them?? and the pararell at the end??? FANTASTIC!!!!!!!

2.) AHHHHHHHH!!!??? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!? I'M!? I'm so happy you liked it, thank you so much for telling me! and I have SO many feelings about angel Mammon, demon Mammon and MC! The way Mammon told MC he didn't make pacts with random humans just a couple lessons ago, but how that didn't make sense cause MC WAS a random human when they made a pact and being the fastest of the brothers he could have gotten Goldie back without making the pact. But then the reveal that Mammon and MC have met before and that though he won't remember them he'd remember their effect on him and even (as seen in the hard lessons) possibly remember slips of them in his dreams so MC was never a random human even . I'm - sorry it took me tf out

1.) !!! Season 3 is so good! They're both just absolutely domestic in it? And they're so comfortable with each other? That whole trip with Luke? That was a family trip and you can't convince me otherwise! MC being the jealous one for once was was good! They also teased each other a lot and their friendship gives me life! They even mentioned marriage like thrice in the whole season and it sent me

I genuinely can't choose a favourite season tbh BUT I think season 2 had the most content for MC & Mammon?

Season 1 had that sprinkling of enemies to friends to more and I'm an absolute sucker for that trope (I think because all my childhood cartoons had that trope?) Him wrapping their wrist when they sprained it and telling them to die next time if he's unable to save them. Then they actually die and he sobs over their body?????? How those words he said to him must have been going on repeat in his head? Mammon worrying about MC going through Barbatos' door and telling them not to even joke about dying? All of that hurts so much!?

Season 2 had them coming to terms with/expressing their feelings. Just S2 came for my life:

•The phone call

•Mammon telling MC he thought of them more than money and them telling him that both their lives would be easier if he just admitted he loved them (dlsgehsksk????????)

•Carnival date! Holding hands in the haunted house! Winning them a pulshie!

•Asmo saying Mammon looks significantly more beautiful in pictures where he's modeling and him saying the reason is that he thinks of MC when he has a shoot

•MC being called out for being soft on Mammon twice

•MC standing up for him against his brothers

•Mammon's greatest wish in the reaper's cave was MC

•The thing Mammon was thinking about at the start of Groundhog day was MC and his greatest want was for them to say they like him

•Mammon accidentally confessing to MC while wearing the truth bracelet; saying he loves them so much it drives him crazy and how if he had to list what made them perfect they'd be there for a long ass time

•MC asking him to the dance

•Him apologising to MC when he came on to them against their will while he was under a curse, them healing his injuries from when Satan kicked him off MC, them sleeping together

•Him yelling at Lucifer but backing off when Simeon says he's worrying MC

•Him yelling at Diavolo for hiding things about MC's powers from them but backing off when MC says they're scared (of the whole situation)

•Mammon telling them that losing the pact won't change anything between them (which!!!?? He puts so much emphasis on being their 'first man' and the fact that he's now secure enough in his relationship with them (either platonic or romantic) that he doesn't need to clutch on to the anymore?) and initiating a hug and MC feeling like their bond has gotten even stronger

•Mammon's treasure item being the matching chocolate Lizard keychain he got with MC in S1 (even though Satan & Lucifer got them too he still treasured it cause it was the first thing he shared with MC/it was from his first trip with MC)

•Him telling MC that they oughta hurry up and learn to summon demons and then summon him first and how after that he won't ever leave them again

All moments with Mammon are so good and I really want S4 now🥲

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