#Idk tho my brain isn't really working today
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I'm not gonna lie I've been pondering for the last 30 minutes or so on what a good animated Robin movie would look like and Im kinda coming up blank I'm even getting stumped on which Robin the movie would focus on and outside of that what story should be the main focus
#Dc#Robin#Like I feel like the obvious answer would be dick#And the movie focuses on how he became Robin#Which like very good story#Easy to fit into the movie time span#Your basic origin story that new fans won't get confused with a bunch of back story#But it also just sounds like the safe option#And kinda boring if I'm being honest#Especially bc to me if you really want to tell dick or really any of the Robins stories#You need way more time to do it#Idk tho my brain isn't really working today#Soooo putting the question out there#Dc is making an animated Robin movie#They've asked you what Robin should be the focus and what story your telling#With the obvious stipulations#It's gotta fit into a 90 minute runtime#Robin has to fulfill some sorta character arc#It has to be newbie friendly while appeasing old fans#It's gotta be a self contained story while leaving room for a sequel#Annnd go
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It saddens me to say lovelies...that the future of this account...is that of a concerning fate....
WAKE UP LOVELIES
...it's the first of the month....
This account for one isn't going anywhere btw. Had to make a little jokey joke because april fools day y'know.
I do have some updates though since I always give them for each month. 💖
First, I've finally made it to 500 follows??? Thank you all for being amazing and showing up and showing out for the love on all my drabbles, request answers, just anything. Especially my brain rot.
A couple of things I'd like to address for this blog as it grows is the following:
-this is a judgement free zone within reason. i have my boundaries and strong opinions that may pop up, my intention isn't to be 'hoiler than thow' or wave fingers (i mean i'm playing a demon sex game hello?) but at the same time, there's some stuff that just ain't it and i will bring it up if i feel the need to to establish my limits.
-i am only one admin with audhd and a fucked up sleep schedule. so i may be late to the hype, right on it, or it's two days later and i'm catching up. that's just how it is
But I welcome you, and if you're new...enjoy your stay, it's wild here.
NOW onto my requests/inbox
If you've checked my pinned there's been updates. As of today, any request sent from now until the end of the month will not be answered until May in the order received.
Any requests you see posted during April are old ones I hadn't gotten to. I'm working this month on how to organize requests, and make sure I stick to my waiting times as per stated or throw them out.
I like working on requests, it gives me something to do. However I really wanted to focus on creating my own content for the blog, that's what I started this entire thing for (if any of you remember my old now shadowbanned blog) that was the base of it.
Which segways into this next bit.
I am dangerously shifting into burn out mode....
The thing about being nuerodivergent and on medications for different illnesses, and while trying to build a healthier lifestyle, I am constantly battling wanting to keep up with my writing peers on posting fics, answering requests, being a part of a fandom again.
But ngl the numbers are killing me. I get anxious about getting a huge following and then coming up short cause I know how it gets. Hard criticism, parasocial relationships, hate follows, that shit haunts me.
So when I try to answer ya'lls request quickly I sit here at my computer numb and brain full of fog because I simply can't think of how to answer. That's been happening a lot. And truthfully April is never a good month for me. I just want to coast this month...be minimally busy as possible and just not think much.
To rememdy that, this is why I have decided to take an entire month off taking any new requests. A reset. Trying to find that balance. I need it before I crack.
Andddd now for some light hearted stuff.
It's my birthday month!
idk if I'll be doing a special thing on this blog during that time, but if I do, you'll know~ Beel's birthday is on the 4th btw so that's really cool we share the same month ^^ Got him on the quiz, both of us have adhd, and now the same birthday month. He just wants me to surround myself around him huh?
i don't mind that tho. that's my boo.
To end this long ass post, stay awesome, stay lovely, and enjoy my brain rot and stupid reacts 😘
-your lovely admin, ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)
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hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL
how'd you get past that?
not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.
it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.
ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.
i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.
on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.
sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")
also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."
if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.
when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.
i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!
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☆apologies if this has been answered already!! Out of curiosity, what time period does komorebi take place in? It seems somewhere in the past, evidenced by the lack of mentions of cars or cell phones, the general nostalgic feeling and the feeling of "this happened a long time ago",,, (that one post involving a mention of a coal cart is quite interesting as those peaked in use in the 1920s?? Though as far as i know they were still around till the 1970s, i might be wrong on this tho)
☆but at the same time it doesn't seem to take place too far off from the present, perhaps a few decades ago—there are lamps and a sink in Nightmare and Sunbeam's home so running water and electricity are a thing so anywhere before 1870 is out, and from the "sunbeam isnt allowed out in the rain" post, umbrellas and froggie raincoats exist (the latter of which is extremely cute and ALSO narrows it down to someplace after the 1950s— given other clues, my brain says maybe a very rural country village in the late 50s or early-to-mid-60s? Vaguely european perhaps,,,,,, Idk)
☆maybe I'm reading too much into things and there isn't really a set time period or location, which is cool too, and in which case i apologise!! I just really like history and it's 3 minutes to 1 am ahaha
☆also this au is so very adorable rahhh its so homey and comfy and, dare i say it, almost cottagecore? It fills me with such joy :]
Hello!!! I'm glad the AU is on your mind so much that you're delving into the time period, I think this is a fun question and I love it. I like your dating of the specific items in the AU!
There is not a set location/time period, since we are dealing with a magic kingdom of monsters and humans, and we do exist in the wibbly wobbly time period of "medieval fantasy"-which can be hardly called medieval at all sometimes. Medieval in the loosest definition. Which means I get to throw history into a blender and yell "magic". You are right when saying the area should be based on a rural country village in Europe!
I should also note to you that the artwork typically depicts a time period further in the story than the fanfic itself. Not all of the works operate in the same time frame and there are significant advancements in technology/plumbing/etc. that occur during Nightmare's time in the AU-that may or may not be his influence. I like to jump around in the timeline just because a) I'm lazy and b) I don't feel like having to think of the logistics of the village's non-existent sewer network. There's also to note that not all of the marks in the story are dated precisely to our own, because monsters and magic and also I can't be fucked to create a linear timeline that follows real world historical advancements. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience.
The comic about Sunbeam not being allowed out in the rain takes place in the castle/"post-story" timeline, therefore dating it in the gray "modern" era where you can safely presume most items we have today are provided to the Henchmen. Surface technology has been provided to the child, and he is thoroughly bewildered. Nightmare was similarly confused when he first left his AU.
ADDITION: The AU is still under development and is not fully fleshed out in terms of worldbuilding, so you can totally ask me about this much later and I'll probably give an added response.
#inbox#moonstones-and-mangoes#worldbuilding#modmare answers#me when I remember I have to do the entire worldbuilding
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trans arankita? 🥺👉👈
OF COURSE I CAN TALK ABOUT TRANS ARANKITA THAT'S WHAT STARTED THIS!!!!!!!
send me and bex characters to trans
listen. yall. i've said it so many times but arankita makes me so fucking feral i can go on and on about them i feel like this is gonna get so long too yall are giving me the best reasons to ramble
i know you asked for arankita, but i'll do them separate and together like i did for the others!
so aran!
i fucking love aran and he is so transable. you can really just trans him. he's perfect. i love him. transmasc aran? perfect. transfem aran? perfect. enby aran? perfect.
recently i've been really loving nonbinary aran, but i'm gonna talk in general first. i think he thought a lot about his transition. he did research and tried shit out on his own before he told anyone. not to get too serious, but i am in my psychology research brain today. i do think that he does really have to think about the intersections of being black in general, being black in japan, and being a black trans person. he has to be careful about how he goes about his transition, but i think he has a really good support system, and his family is really supportive of him.
i think transmasc aran gets top surgery as soon as he can, but i've been thinking about afab enby (and/or genderfluid!) aran who doesn't get top surgery but will bind. basically my thoughts on that for aran is they use they/he/she pronouns, but only for other trans people. cis people are lucky to even perceive them so cis people can only use they/them. trans people are also more than welcome to use gendered language with him, because he knows that they know she isn't part of the binary. i also love thinking about aran switching between fem/masc/gnc presenting, or mixing it all up!
i also like to think that aran likes to try different styles with their hair, and will try different styles of braids or other protective styles to see how they can express gender that way, you know?
also, sidenote, the twins (also trans) are so fucking in love with aran, and they think she's SO gender
and speaking of being so gender - kita!
kita is up there with akaashi on being very gender for me. idk what it is about him but he's just...gender.
(one of the very first hq fics i read was about enby kita, and i still think about it a lot)
i tend to lean towards enby kita, but transmasc/transfem kita is amazing too. i loooooove the conversations me and bex have about fem kita
i think kita has to be told by other trans people that cis people don't think about gender like that, and he's just kinda like "oh" and then is trans lmao
no matter which way kita is trans, i don't think they have much dysphoria, but i do think afab kita gets super dysphoric about their period (not projecting at all idk what you're talking about) but it's partly because of trans shit but also because of autism (no i will not be taking criticisms, kita is autistic it's canon...i can also tell yall my autism hcs...)
transfem kita is so fun to write! i think about her a lot. i think she so fun. i think because she works on the farm, she doesn't usually wear revealing clothes, and because of that, no one really sees the changes to her body from hrt (and top surgery lmao) so when she finally wears like shorts and a tank top or something she kills literally everyone that sees her
honestly tho, i love love love any trans kita, but they/them nonbinary kita just really hits for me. i don't have anything else to say about it lmao
moving onto arankita
the reason this whole think started is because i was rambling to @thegaycodedvolleyballhimbos about nonbinary lesbians arankita
i think aran was like "i'm nonbinary" and kita was like oh sick gender and now is also nonbinary lmao. also they are lesbians.
so we were talking about afab aran (they/he/she) and amab kita (she/they) and they're both on hrt but opposite ways
...that's pretty much it. they're nonbinary. they're lesbians. they're in love!
but i do have a hilarious fic idea that i really want to write that i desperately want to share! basically it's transmasc kita, but he's stealth. except he doesn't know he's stealth. he doesn't really think about the fact that no one ever sees him change or anything, and he's just a guy so like. there's nothing to talk about? but then he and aran are making out and getting handsy and aran feels his binder/bra and is confused. so kita tells him he can take it off and aran is like what. and after some confusion kita is like aran. you know what a bra is. and aran is like but???? why are you wearing it?????? and kita is like i'm trans. literally everyone knows this. you know that aran. but aran very much did not know that
anyway this is so fucking long i could keep going about arankita but like my previous responses about this, i will stop here lmao
@emosuna
(reminder while we're here that trans is an umbrella term, nonbinary is under the trans umbrella, and nonbinary is also an umbrella term that covers identities like genderfluid, genderqueer, bigender, etc.)
#so...yeah#i love them :)#arankita#aran#kita#hq#queer hq#wtf jordan#asks#j's transing characters again
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so im easing back into writing after my break, bear with me! have some fic ideas and im gonna keep working on my aces series and also start posting my until the end of time series (super excited about that one hehe)
but i present in the mean time:
my top 10 underrated kpop bsides (in my opinion)
1. novel by skz - ik it's a japanese comeback so it's kind of different, but even so, this song is SO pretty (i listened to it while snow was falling at a christmas market in the city today and WOW that was probably one of my fav music experiences and the entire song literally feels like that situation)
2. brave by twice - honestly i love basically every bside in this album but THIS (and basics, but that's not underrated and definitely should not be bc it's iconic) is one of my favs. something about it just clicks in my brain?? idk go listen to it
3. telepathy by bts - this one is SO CUTE and my mum introduced me to it <3 it's her fav bc it's so sweet and i love love love the rhythm?? like idk again it just is one of those songs that WORKS and the harmonies are so pretty and it's just fun and cute and everything
4. psychic lover/snowy/freaky by itzy (shut up ik it's more than one) - OKAY SO ive always found itzy bsides kind of mid (DONT come at me i love those girls okay but idk i feel like jyp really isn't using their talents well enough like PLS give my girl ryu better rap lines?? WHY ARE THEY JUST TALKIBG HELP SHE CAN HANDLE THEM) but the cheshire mini album ATE (boys like you gets a half point bc i liked the instrumental even tho the lyrics were cringe) and kill my doubt WAS the bside album of itzy (shame that i didn't like the title track anywhere near as much tho) so basically yeah they have a few good recent bsides i adore is what im tryna say
5. rewind by twice - okay so as much as i adore twice i feel like their bsides are either a) SLAPPING INCREDIHLE MWAH or b) what the fuck are you doing here?? like you're lowkey in the wrong place darling!! like can someone explain to me WHY moonlight ended up in the scientist album and NOT taste of like love??? excuse me??? and im seeing that none of this is about rewind but idk anymore i need to do a post where i sort out bsides from different itzy and twice albums into their CORRECT ONES BECAUSE WHY IS WILD WILD WEST IN GUESS WHO AND NOT IN NOT SHY THAT WAS THEIR WHOLE COWBOY CONCEPT STFU
6. love maze by bts
7. blind spot by skz
8. cool (your rainbow) by nmixx
9. girls like us by twice
10. love by stayc
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When your not sure if your coworkers also are annoy by someone or it's just you.
And your both trying to do a vibe check. Then are like omg you hate him too. Omg this is what he did earlier. Right wtf.
Leviathan is not great. Really pissed me off today. I keep getting mad when my brain reminds me.
We don't overlap to much. Idk I don't know exactly what the ick is. I don't think I get it being a guy and all. But ugh it wasn't that bad when thinking but also man that just kind of did it.
Made me go from okay he a bit weird and I don't understand what he just did. But he knew he might get better. To how dare he. Who does he think he is. Only work here less then a month like really? You have no idea what's going on or how we do things.
One of my managers doesn't think he last long. I hope she right tho idk we don't firer people. Unless they do some bad shit that is a full on insulin like calling hr and written reports. So he have to be the one to leave on his own.
Anyways I should go to bed. It isn't my problem right now I have tomorrow off.
Just what he did killed me
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I cant believe these are real songs that exist and are also good
Cowboys from Hell is straight up something you'd hear when the badass rugged protagonist kicks back the barstool, the scrape of the wood against the aged floorboards of the rustic pub cutting the arguing patrons off, and he subtly taunts the aggressors... Right before he moves to beat everyone's collective ass, he turns his head to the bartender like, "You might wanna get down for this one." Or some ish like that LMAO
THE START OF DOMINATION, THOUGH, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? lakdfsjalLAKSDFJ Simple, but slappin' 🦵🦵🦵
Bright Red Violent Sex - when at 1:05, they started building on the melody of "It's a release for her primal instincts", YOOO, tension rising!! Also the echo of "hurt me" is sing-along material, esp. the way it punctuates the song (there's like... distinct repetitions in the song, but it cuts off before it drags and it builds tension throughout - THAT GOOD PACING 🐛🐛🐛)
#Domination's verses are a tad slow and don't vary too much in melody or rhythm so I was like 'give me smth Pantera'#then the guitar solo kicked in#LOL#DAMN#also Domination's lyrics U w U 'to yourself you will befall'#fave bits of BRVS are everything that isn't the chorus AKSDFJ - IDK WHY MY BRAIN LIKES THE PARTS THAT *AREN'T* THE SONG TITLE LMFAOO#that strong end tho 😤 the drums!!#'primal release' but musically! we do appreciate the parallel#Cowboys from Hell though#yooo#YO#NOT A SINGLE PART OF THAT WENT UNBANGED#I mean... unheadbanged#I'll stop trying to make the pun work forgive me LMAOO#NO BUT SERIOUSLY HELL YEAH THE PACING DON'T DRAG ITS MELODY VARIES THE LYRICS ARE HYPE AS HELL AND THE VOCALS FITS HECKING WELL#stuff to play when you wanna say 'frick it i choose chaos today' while doing smth really calm and simple like taking a nice peaceful walk#LOOL#(to an action-packed daydream tho!! >:33333)#thank you for the ear meal 🤸♂️
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For a few days now I have e been thinking about your most recent Disney is evil rant and how you always seem to think of the Disney machine as "Disney-Marvel", and don't get me wrong, those two are wholy linked; but that's not why Disney has had the market penetration it has. While yes, many of the millennials who got the Disney subscription paid for it because they wanted that sweet superhero juice injected right into their brains and that's about as much disposable income we have for anything remotely fun (85% of us are broke af), but the bulk of Disney subscriptions is made of older peeps with children paying for a service that offers the nostalgia films of their childhood and new ones without the risk of radicalizing their childrens while they cook/clean/work from home (hey! YouTube algorithm). So what I am saying here is that even if you get our broke asses to stop giving the 10$/month (I think?? I have been too broke for a while now to pay for any streaming services) to Disney, you will make zero dent in their income because the old peeps are the ones paying for that stuff and they skew mostly conservative.
This is uhm.......factually fucking incorrect LOL
Why does everyone seem to think Millenials are still like 12? Let's see how old each generation is at this point:
WW II: 95 – 100
Post War: 77 – 94
Boomers: 58 – 76
Gen X: 42 – 57
Millennials: 26 – 41
Gen Z: 10 – 25
Gen Alpha: 9 and under
A lot of Millennials deadass have kids in high school or in college lol. Disney's huge moneymaker right now isn't the "nostalgia" films. The way Disney really makes their big checks is Marvel, the SW franchises, and every other massive franchise they launch. You know who isn't watching those franchises? Boomers and Gen X. You know who is making Marvel and all of those other franchises billion-dollar enterprises? Millennials and Gen Z. That isn't "Old People". That's a proven fact. That's not who Disney's target audience is. "Old People" is NO ONE's target audience. Do you not understand that the key demographic for EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE, FOR EVERYTHING is 18-34?
The BULK of the Disney+ subscriptions is being driven by all of the Marvel and SW series. Disney themselves have admitted it. You know who is paying for those subscriptions and watching those shows? Not "Old People". That's Millennials and Gen Z.
I just find it fucking funny that the same group of people who love to stomp their chests claiming to be SO PROGRESSIVE and SO PRO-LGBT is out there throwing money at a company who after being reamed over the weekend for supporting every homophobic politician in existence doubled down today with one of the most absolutely batshit crazy fucking statement I've ever seen in my life:
Bob Chapek is Disney's CEO by the way. He for real was like "Disney can't do anything...but like...subscribe to Disney+ tho. That will help us change the world ;] (It's not like we make any gay content anyway because we can't piss off the right...and we're also homophobic. But subscribe anyway! We'll use that money to keep supporting every politician that drafts up the most hateful bills intended to take all your rights away!)"
But, idk, keep making excuses so y'all can continue watching your superhero bullshit or whatever. It confirms how big of a hypocrite everyone is.
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As someone who was bullied so badly mom pulled me from that school and put me in another, yowch that article hit home. But on the other hand, I’m so fucking glad they found their lil crew of people like themselves to build each other up and take care of each other (I also wonder if that had anything to do with Tommi and Olli being nurses cause I’m less sure about olli but isn’t it pretty open knowledge Tommi is a psych nurse? correct me if I’m wrong obvs) cause *I* also considered doing something similar, if only to figure out why people are the way that they are. I HATE that Niko was still struggling that badly that recently cause he’s definitely always seemed like the one who’s mostly got his crap together (but that definitely also comes from the bullying, you learn to hide stuff), but very glad he recognized it and went “I need my friends right this instant” cause it takes a lot of growth and time to recognize that 🥺 (also, since the ESC vlogs I’ve said Joel talks like he’s been in therapy forever (“I’m sure I make it a bigger problem in my head” “I know I’m too hard on myself sometimes” etc) but I did not expect it to be confirmed like tHAT). Anyways long story short I’m really glad my autistic brain picked these boys to hyperfixate on, I picked some real good ones 🥺💜
yeah ngl the article is definitely putting me through a lot of emotions and memories and stuff today 😅 Tommi's nurse status is confirmed and public knowledge, Olli is still unsure tho, someone said he works at the same hospital and he was fandom assigned to be a nurse too, but his name doesn't actually show up in the medical personnel database. so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
but yeah like I'm not at all surprised to hear that about Niko considering he did write Feel Nothing and like. idk if people realize that the song isn't at all an exaggeration? like the relief of finally going numb when you're in a bad place is a real thing and very familiar to myself during my suicidal periods. so I kinda figured no one can just write such an accurate description of that dark place without having been there, but getting the confirmation still hurts.
I'm really happy Joel is in therapy after what he's been through and even if it cant all be fixed, he's learned to recognize when he's the one making things seem worse than they are. even if he's still struggling, he's still out there making his dreams true, and I'm really happy about that. ♥
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GX Month Day 13: “Polymerization”
We can’t have GX without a few fusion summons. Show off your favorite fusion monsters today, or a fusion you wish you’d seen in the show. Heck, show us what a fusion of your favorite characters would like!
‘Fusion of favorite characters’ I said. WELL WHAT BETTER ‘FUSION’ THAN KIDS? 8D my brain decided to hyperfocus again
Sanna Jade Anderson
16
daughter of Jesse Anderson and Chinatsu Muto
attends Neo Domino's Duel Academy (same grade as Aki)
can see duel spirits
The definition of chaotic good and morally gray.
She inherited her mother's fiery spirit and her father's level head, and is tenacious in the pursuit of her goals. And just like her father, she is not afraid to fuck you up if you fuck with her family.
"It's only illegal if I get caught, right?"
Alexis and Jaden are 'aunt' and 'uncle' to her, and you know Jaden would spoil the snot out of his best friends' kid. She grows up well loved, looked after, protected, and rarely lonely.
She's the "leader" of the friend group most days but only as responsible as it takes to make sure no one dies.
She's the one who will randomly pull a random knife out and no one will be surprised that she had one.
Takehiko Yuki
11
son of Jaden and Alexis
attends Neo Domino's Duel Academy (same grade as Leo and Luna)
can see duel spirits
Hyperactive and excitable, Takehiko inherited his father's penchant for finding trouble, much to his mother's dismay.
Blood related or not, Sanna is his older sister whom he enjoys hanging out with and occasionally tormenting.
Sanna loves him, she does, but also wouldn't mind suffocating him with a pillow. "No killing Take." "He's not dead yet!" "No, almost killing Take." "Fiiiine."
Jaden's work sometimes keeps him away from home for weeks a time, and Takehiko will eagerly glue himself to his father's side upon return, demanding to hear about the other dimensions. He longs to go see them himself and definitely wants to follow in his father's footsteps.
He's not the instigator, usually, but he will eagerly follow along with any mayhem his friends cook up and gladly fan the flames of anarchy.
Nareshi and Chieko Marufuji
Nareshi
14
son of Syrus and Mana (Dark Magician Girl)
attends Neo Domino's Duel Academy
an anxious boy like his father
exists in a constant state of limbo between "too used to this to care" and his next anxiety attack because of the chaos that is his friend group
Cinnabon incapable of swearing
He's the quiet introvert that would really rather curl up with a book but has been unceremoniously dragged along on the misadventure.
Would go to war for sister but also wishes she'd calm the frick down for once.
Has been friends with Sanna for as long as he can remember.
Has been made fun of for his unusual name.
Sanna constantly tries to teach him how to fight, so he can throw a punch but he will immediately recoil and apologize profusely.
Mana tried to teach him magic but he lacks an affinity for it.
Somehow got roped into attending Anderson-sensei's extra class despite being the most normal person he knows.
Chieko
12
daughter of Syrus and Mana
attends Neo Domino's Duel Academy
energetic spitfire like her mother and chaos incarnate
very talkative
prankster
the idea supplier of her friend group and the primary cause of all the elder teens' headaches.
Inherited he mother's magical talent and is not afraid to use abuse it. Can, will and has chased off bullies.
She and Takehiko are besties; Takehiko will follow her pretty much anywhere. They are the chaos kids.
hangs out with Takehiko and his friends at school most of the time even tho she's in the grade above
potentially has a crush on Leo idk yet
Images created with picrew.
OKAY SO THESE TWO ARE CANON CHARACTERS BUT WE GET LITTLE TO NO INFORMATION THEREFORE I CLAIM
Sly and "Grady" Manjoume
Sly
the product of a drunken one night stand between Chazz and a coworker. She didn't want a kid, so Chazz took custody and he and Aster raised the boy.
antisocial but Takehiko drags him into the friend group because "our dads our friends so we should be too!"
Grady
18
actually Slade's son, but the man is jerk with little love for his family. As a teen Grady noped out and showed up on Chazz's doorstep like "sign these custody papers please".
the ACTUAL responsible one of the friend group but he doesn't attend Duel Academy and isn't around to prevent most of the bullshit from happening. Got a job and all that.
Sanna and Nareshi are really careful to mind his triggers and keep the younger kids in check.
will often zone out around his friends. He wants to be there but is not always able to engage and just enjoys their presence.
might give him a different name because I ain't using Dick.
#gxmonth2021#fianceshipping#butterflyshipping#fantasyshipping#GX kids#GX ship kids#sly 5ds#grady 5ds#dick pit#ygo gx#yugioh gx#yu gi oh gx
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immj2 08.04.21 lb
why the fuck is vansh glaring at riddhima for dadi's dumb accusations???? does he not remember that siya's whole makeover came as a reaction after riddhima's "death" which means, she wasn't in the fucking house when it happened????? i swear to god, every raisinghania has horseshit for brains.
angre's back with a new injury and ishani's reacting like anyone would if their husband came back from work bleeding every single day. she's spitting nothing but facts and is so fucking right to hate vansh.
yessssssssssss ishani is here to take vansh ki class, and i fucking love it. vansh isn't even smirking this time around, coz ishani is really fucking angry and will literally snap his neck like a toothpick if he tries.
phewwwwwwwwww, ishani really going off today and I AM HERE FOR IT.
ofc he's doing that bullshit macho thing of punching shit in his anger and putting the blame on riddhima for all of it. sis idk why you're still with this man. you've obviously grown a brain now, why don't you see him for the abusive loser that he is????/
lmaooooooooooooooooo he's like "WHY WON'T YOU JUST TELL ME?!?!?!? don't you trust me riddhima????" NO BRO. NO. THE SIMPLE STRAIGHT ANSWER IS FUCKING NO. YOU'RE THE LEAST TRUSTWORTHY PERSON IN THIS SHOW. I'D TRUST A RATTLESNAKE BEFORE I'D TRUST YOUR MANIPULATIVE PSYCHO ASS.
suchhhhhh bad dubbing in this scene for rrahul.
anyway riddhima's like "nahi bataana mujhe", lol. i love it.
he stormed off in anger and she's lamenting not being able to tell him the secret until the black box is handed over to vyom. ugh. so lame.
cut to next morning, he woke up and riddhima's nowhere to be seen.
he goes and bangs on ishani's door and he's like "ishani plsssss darwaza kholo.......... main vansh." LOL OK???? BECAUSE WHO ELSE WOULD WE MISTAKE YOU FOR???
angre ready to leap outta bed but lmaoooooooo the look ishani gave him scared him back into lying down. anyway the moment she turns around he jumps up anyway.
ishani's like can you pls leave my husband alone?!?!?!?!?!?! which is well within her rights, coz vansh bhai really be doing bhangra tapdance all over the boundaries one should have as an employer, let alone brother-in-law.
lol vansh's first comment to angre is "ishani is really angry at me for you. i like that she loves you a lot." i'm sure this means more to angre than ishani's confession of love even.
anyway, he got the deets of that random jhopda from angre and is gonna go chaapa maarofy there. angre's like i'll come with, and ishani tears vansh a new one about respecting angre as the damaad of the house. phewwwwwwwww, i love it so much.
idhar bechare not-rrahul se covid ke time mein bhi kaam karwaaya jaa raha hai. baksh do bechaare ko yaar. rrahul se toh nahi karwaaya tha jab usko hua tha, aur woh lead hai. isko 2 hafte ke liye chutti nahi de sakte? kapde bhi nahi pehnne dete.
anyway riddhima is pissed at vyom for acting overfamiliar with his "partner"/"baby doll" nonsense, and is like jaane kaunse manhoos ghadi mein iske saath deal kar liya maine............ anyway, she gotta do black box shit fastttttt.
anyway, he's given her some apt or safehouse or something.
lollipop ladki and her incredibly toned legs (god, i'd kill for them!!!) are following vansh around, saying i gotta talk to youuuu. vansh is like behen, mere se meri ek bandi nahi sambhal rahi, i don't have time or energy for any sidechicks, pls baksh de. jaake aryan ko tang kar tu.
she's bc poori baat toh sun le. goes to show him the tattoo, but he gets a call and leaves. you know what, she shouldn't tell him it's the code to opening that stupid box. let him come beg. and then she can extort 2500 crore outta him.
idhar chained-up kabir is trying to attack riddhima who's like
can't say i'm not masssssssively enjoying this. i love kabir, i do, but he deserves this for all the haraamipannaa that he did to her and ruined her fucking life.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she shot at KABIR while in the red leather catsuit, not vansh. a pity. shoulda shot both when she had the fucking chance, and lived a free life.
ugh she's doing all this coz he tried to kill vansh? not just for her own shits and giggles? how fucking disappointing.
i love helly's unbothered acting tho. too good.
riddhima's promising to kill him badeeee itmenaaan se.
she's like v 1.0 of me was a basic bitch who just wanted to marry you and live happily ever after. but you planned differently, so............... thanks for teaching me all the ropes of being an absolute bastard.
kabir warning that yeh jo abhi mera haal hai, vansh gonna do it to you, or worse. pftttttttttttt. tell us something we don't already know, loser.
aaaand now he's calling her a fool. she's not the one in chains rn, my man. matlab hadh hai, rassi jal gayi par bal nahi gaya.
anyway blah blah vansh will find out about your deal, he'll kill us both, blah blah blah. whatevs.
riddhima tells guard fellow ki vansh found out about the place and kabir needs to move. guard veryyyyy wisely removes all the chains on kabir, who then gives dhoka by shoving them out the room and slamming the door shut. wonderful.
aryan/ishani bitching about vansh bhai and plotting to bring him downnnnn so that his tyranny will finally end. good. VERY GOOD. get yours, bitchy kanji aankhon waale sibs. main tumhare saath hoon.
vansh reached the jhopdaaaaaaaaaaa. lord i hope riddhima has become nau do gyaraah with kabir by now.
god all these low angle shots of rrahul...................... UNF, man; fucking UNF. 🥵🥵🥵
phew thank god, place is fucken empty.
has something scrawled on the wall tho.
an address......... IN BLOOD. but........... how the fuck would kabir know where riddhima's moving him to and have the time to write it out on the wall???
bwahahahahahahahahahaha and they're bringing kabir to the exact same set, saaaaaame room. man i know budget kam hua hoga OTT ki wajaah se, but there's a million rooms on this set, koi bhi doosra choose kar lete.
anyway, this is the safehouse vyom gave riddhima. good on her for asking for and getting the resources she needs to carry out her nefariousness.
ohhhhhhhhhh, address kabirrrrr ne nahi, RIDDHIMA ne likha tha, galat waala.
loving how she's playing alllllllll these suckers. i know she's not gonna stay winning for long, so imma just enjoy it for the time. *sigh*
precap: vansh's dumb ass finally figured out address fake tha, while riddhima finally gets her hands on the black box. and now he's following her around as she goes to make the drop. BORING!
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ive noted the few years how i wear headphones wayyyyyy less than i used to which is clearly like. representation of how im doin' better & finding it easier to connect w/ the world
but this week i guess im doing a fun deep dive back into it because turns out so far all this cottage trip has done is fuck w/ my emotions & so ive been falling back on headphones more in a day than i have in a long time to manage those emotions
like, i think it's more or less to keep my anger from boiling over. when things Aren't Working for me, my default emotion is anger. but of course that is very hurtful to people around me, so music can be a much easier way to mediate the internal vs external by puttin the wall up
it's neat to know! but i wish i wasnt able to study it so fucking closely because god i wish i was anywhere was here.
getting here last night i was like. oh i think i have some. crying emotions. but because i was trying to be Normal and settle in with everyone else i defaulted to another thing: denying myself any motion
that's something my psych had been like "hey i think sometimes to try and avoid panic attacks you just stop being able to move at all" and it was really clear last night how accurate that is since i was just like. if i move from the exact spot on the couch--if i utter a single word out loud--i will start sobbing.
and spoilers, i had to get up to take my evening drugs (several hours late, tho it's just spiro so w/e), the second i got into my room & closed the door i did in fact start sobbing uncontrollably, which hasn't happened in several months (like, 2020 probably).
it didn't help that my mom kept mocking me (she probably thought it was playful, but it wasnt good for the mood) since one of my stuffed animals got dirty + covered in rust cause someone just stuffed it under a bunch of fucking weightlifting equipment and i KNOW! I KNOW!!! it's not a big deal. but to have the first thing i do when i step inside was to have one of my safety nets feel "dirty" wasnt good. and she did the exact same thing (literally like "aw poor baby's [blank] isn't [blank]") about half an hour later when i was laying on the couch trying to stop myself from having my meltdown
today's emotions haven't been much better. ive changed so much, but nothing here has changed enough. the last time i was here it was 2019. andrew was with his ex, and every time a bag of chips crinkled my entire body would twitch
all ive fucking done is pace up and down the cottage and feel like shit
im hoping im going to settle in. i really really hope. but this has made for an absolutely miserable start that is making my emotions about every single other thing spiral (think about date, i feel worthless; fail to fix a programming problem, i feel worthless; fail to relax, surprise, i feel worthless!) and this is the stuff that feeds all back into suicidal ideation. mind you, that is only at the periphery but because of, idk, My Whole Life, that is sort of a default feeling and emotion too whenever anything becomes overwhelming--things get hard or Too Much, and i daydream about dying.
and so trying to manage all these little emotions are hard. i am absolutely certain this is just a bump in a road--like, all this post is to say is "i understand what is happening to me and why which means i can weather the storm, im just frustrated that I can't do much to stop it all together"
i miss my apartment--just typing that has my me start Crying Lite(TM). and so im sure that TOO is a part of covid both being a blessing and a curse--i got such a good habit and routine that felt so comfortable and predictable that now any changes too it are far more difficult to deal with than anticipated. it's a sort of comfort at the expense of flexibility
and so it's annoying. i cant meaningfully talk about this because the emotions i am feeling the biggest (sadness, frustration, restlessness, worthlessness, SI) aren't "real". They are products of my brains inflexibility and tendencies toward extremes. They are not in any way an accurate representation of what is happening in my life.
and so to talk about it to anyone is meaningless because it's not something that can be solved that way and asking for help makes me feel worse 99 times out of 100--because i know whether i ask for help or not, ill make it through it. and when i come through to my good mood, this mood right will be overshadowed by the good so much that ill feel stupid & attention seeking for even having considered i need help
so yeah. i think ive gotten it all figured it out. still miserable about it though & i would kill to be back in TO
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okay so first of all i did make bruschetta! my stomach kinda hurts now but like. it was still pretty good. idk i still feel like i shouldn't have and the more i think about it the more i'm like. that was a Bad Idea. if you can't tell i really do have some sort of issues <3. idk who will eat it all now tho cause it's a lot. i did eat a lot tho too so like. man idk. now i wanna go and move because i hate sitting after i eat but i don't have anywhere to go. my friend wanted to watch a movie so now we're doing a netflix party but like. idk it's not anything i'm interested in.
anyways the other paragraphs:
my sleep schedule is always a mess. i sleep best when i'm full on exhausted and there's not much exhaustion going on rn. that's why i load up my schedule during the school year (the year before this past, i was at my school from 7:30 to 8-10 pm all the time). i hope you can avoid any new burn outs, those are never fun. as for my sinuses—i've always had sinus problems. i used to have infections when i was little often (i once was on antibiotics for one for 40 days lmfao). and sinuses go hand in hand with migraines actually so. yeah. it's a normal thing and i usually can't move my eyes around too much or i get pain/headaches. i wake up with that pretty much everyday, usually sharp pain around my eyes, but today just my entire head hurt and my sinuses were just. yeah. no eye movement today ! my neck just started hurting too so that's the migraine setting in lol
also my nose is still hurt but i can't really do anything about it. i just hope it'll pass
and pre cal, rn it's vectors. not that difficult, but i have certain things (writing, tumblr, now pre cal) that just make me anxious at the thought of doing them. idk. it'll be fine
and my list won't be entirely unattainable. mostly just like. fix myself physically (i want stronger hip muscles, arms, etc.). figure out my hair, fix this shit on my arms, find shoes, find new clothes, etc etc. just that sort of thing.
and that doesn't sound fun. try hot water/shower/bath and massaging the area. and use some sort of cream/something to put on it (can't think of the proper terminology). and the hand thing sounds really painful omg. i hope it gets better soon. you have time today so you should relax, and i'm happy your meds + productivity have been good! that's always nice
once again response under the cut–
yay bruschetta! hopefully after you give yourself a bit of time to digest your stomach will hurt less? idk though, everyone's different. and idk if your neighborhood is safe to walk in, but if it is you could go for a short walk? i live in like. okay so it's technically a village. in the woods. but that makes me sound like i'm a medieval peasant so uh. long story short i can go for walks but idk about you– i feel like i remember you mentioning that your area wasn't very safe at one point. either way i hope you feel a bit better :(
with exhaustion: okay not to be *that* person but i'll tell you what my doctor told me my freshman year? sophomore year? it was basically along the lines of "your brain is still developing please stop teaching it that stress = good living conditions and start teaching yourself to work/sleep better" so. lmao and here i am djfhsfkjsd but yeah burn out is not fun but it'll probably happen again soon. i'm still not fully back from the last school year and just with things going on right now in my life it's just kind of– on the horizon lol.
yeah i knew a bit about sinuses because my sister tells me Migraine Facts from time to time and that was one of them. idk any condition where normal means functioning while in pain is hell, im sorry babe. i never know what to say but like. i'm sensitive lol. and i hope that your nose gets better and that whatever's wrong with it isn't too severe.
yeah i understand that. i usually try to break it down into the smallest bits possible to make it seem manageable. and at least you're on break with writing, so you don't have to think about it. you can always take a break from tumblr if you need it babe.
and yeah just make sure you keep your goals manageable, yknow? ambition and gentleness can co-exist, if that makes sense.
and YEAH my hand hurts this sucks. it's not that bad but yeah. because there's no way for it to not be in pain right now– because it's on my dominant hand, anytime i move my hand to do anything it pulls at it. i have a bandage on it but it's in a really inconvenient place to bandage? and i was going to take a shower to help with the soreness but it hurts my hand so <\3 and i wanted to workout today but i'm too sore, which is frustrating. but it's probably good that i can't right now for reasons but still. there was some stuff that i just wanted to mess around with, like some old choreo, but my entire body hurts so i'm just resting today. i was going to just daydream + write down notes on those daydreams but like. i have absolutely no ideas at the moment. @ the universe please give me new ced ideas <3 my brain is dead <3 also the "e" "l" "w" "k" and "j" keys on my laptop stopped working halfway through that sentence so i've got to switch to my phone and also figure that out now ;-; i used copy and paste just to finish but i'm not going to keep doing that
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