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fillinforlater · 8 months

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Monday of Appreciation: Part 101

Hello everyone, Smite here!

2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Monday of Appreciation!

My first MoA post was posted on the 20th of September 2021, two years. Time really flies, huh? I don't want this to be just another MoA 100 post, but I really gotta thank you all, especially because Part 100 received so much love, God, it made me so happy <3 It was a kinda cathartic moment, the series had an epic peak... all thanks to you.

I definitely also want to thank all the writers, without whom this all wouldn't exist. My way of thanking you all is by... featuring a FUCKTON of stories below. Even if you are not featured (first of all, I'm sorry lol), I still appreciate your work and comradery in the bunker. Y'all are amazing <3

LET'S GET TO IT!!!

No. 1: @dnd-writes: Way of Water ft. Eunbi

Ah yes, Waterbomb Eunbi. The event that captured us all. The idea with the backup dancer is straight forward, nice, but the greatest thing about this is the watersports. Waterbomb, watersports... you get it? Just read it.

No.2: @leafostuff: No Names Needed ft. Sheon (Billlie)

Thanks to Leafo for spreading the good word of Sheon and her... goddamn midriff. No more reasons needed, appreciate this girl already, ugh.

No. 3: @iznsfw: The Devil's Telephone ft. Yujin

Everything IZ touches skips the part where it turns to gold. Fuck gold, IZ just creates diamondtic-masterpieces. I was thrilled to learn about this fic and when I read it... IZ did it again! This portrayal of Yujin is everything. What are we to your might!

No. 4: @idyllicidols: Cheat Day ft. Wonyoung

Wonyoung gangbang with her fans? I bet you all are already foaming at your mouth. Go on. Read it. Leave some love for this talented writer after getting your loads off the screen.

No. 5: @rvp32: Whisper of Uncontrollable Desire ft. Chaewon

Let me tell you, rvp is great! They don't hold back, they go all out, they try A/B/O, they like futa (please write futa!) and they have a Gaeul series. This one fucking sent me <3

No. 6: @existslikepristin: Not Summer Yet ft. Jeongyeon

Thx ELP for the nice message on Part 100! Thanks also for giving us these crazy pieces again and again (well, this one isn't too crazy for your standards, but you get me). This felt really intimate, liked it!

No. 7: @dreamcatchers-husband: The City of Love and Secrets ft. Sejeong

You better learn French for this fic. But fr, now I wanna go to Paris and marry a beautiful girl before :floshed: filling her up because she truly is mine now ahhhhh

No. 8: @capslocked: SERENDIPITY ft. Eunbi

Caps, Caps, Caps, Caps, Caps, what am I gonna do with you? Your fics are ALWAYS in my to read list and when I get to them... yeah, takes more than one attempt... more like five. Fuck you, I love you.

No. 9: @ggidolsmuts: Sin, Hormones and the Starlet's Boyfriend ft. Yunjin, Somi

HOLY FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, that was so FUCKING hot, I caaaaan't stop meeeeee, this is so good, I need more of this. Yeah, basically every ddeun fic makes me go like this. What a fucking legend, man.

No. 10: @smuttysabina: A Pervert Bred by Perverts only Breeds more Perverts ft. E:U (Everglow)

As you can see, the title is quite elaborate on what happens in this fic. A bunch of perverts, a lot (and I do mean a LOT) of cum to breed and in the end everyone is happy. You too, you filthy pervert?

No. 11: @writingsomesin-amber: Puppies' New Toy Part 3 ft. LSFM, Xiaoting

FUTA, the best kind of futa. The one with Alphas, with Kazuha (who always has a HUGE cock), with boundless sex that's just horny nonsense. This is what I want to read. Thank you for writing it!

No. 12: @co-reborn: [PPV] BG SEX PERFECT PINK HAIR KOREAN COLLEGE GIRL RIDES AND GETS CREAMPIED - Full Ver ($30).mp4 ft. Jiheon

This is a sequel to probably the best porn focused smut to ever exist. Thank you, c.o, for creating this, for making it a universe and for dropping another Jiheon smut. She hot, you hot <3

No. 13: @pfxhk: Staircase: Prepotent Pleasure ft. Yuqi

Kaaajin <3 finally another Yuqi fic and a very good one at that. I want her hot lips wrapped around me too now.

No. 14: @rosiesmuts: After Dark ft. Rose

Rose little fuck doll. Her pics lately have been mind-fucking or sth like that, I dunno, just sex. Oh, and I know a lot of good things happen late at night.

No. 15: @akkaweo-akkaweo: Treatment ft. Jinsoul

That's the treatment wr allll want from our dear Jinsoul. Her gorgeous visuals have really stunned me since she joined Modhaus. Now paint that pretty face.

No. 16: @mode-lfy: Jinni (SMUT) ft. Jinni (ex-NMIXX)

Sooooo... when does Jinni unzip my pants, first thing in the morning finally come back?

Edit: SHE ACTUALLY IS?!?! LFG!

No. 17: @worldsover: link in bio top 0.1% creator ft. Jiheon

This one is the follow-up to c.o's [PVV], so we got a whole-ass universe with pornstar!Jiheon now. What a blessing, and it leaves us with no doubt that Jihron would reach that 0.1% if she'd show her cute face and bubble butt on cam... when tho???

No. 18: @allthekingssmut: She's Rough And Coarse And Gets Everywhere ft. Heejin

Star Wars is already a win in my book, pair it with hotness everywhere (the sun, a mechanic, her face) and it only gets better and better. The release to all the fucking tension between those two is EPIC. Great fic!

No. 19: @writerpeach: Overindulgent ft. Wonyoung

To say I have over-indluged in this fic would be a massive understatement. When Peach let's loose and pours out tens of thousands of words of unpure smut, we know we got ourselves a massive hit, no matter the idol. To make it even better, Wonyoung.

No. 20: @okaylikesmomo: Kampfyre Part 1 - Vocals ft. Winter

Just one word: vocal training. Wait, that is two words! So Imma a need okay to write a second part to this, because Winter has not been trained enough (imo).

No. 21: @pupyuj: Magic Words ft. Wonyoung (fem!reader)

More love to female reader fics! Especially thise one, with this sweet and spicy Wony that makes girls' legs weak and mine too xD Thank you for this great story and hot smut!

No. 22: @usedpidemo: Parasailing ft. Yuri, Minju

This story feels so nostalgic, so oddly familiar. Like I was there throughout it all and feel entitled to the release at the end. This fic has me gliding, high on their two perfect bodies.

No. 23: @summersault31: Concerto Pt. 1 ft. IU

Blowjobs under the table while tempting another woman into your sinful lifestyle... this combines a clichee with a hook that has you begging: Summer, where is Part 2?

No. 24: @midnightdancingsol: I swear, the Bear Poked Me! ft. futa!Minji x Danielle

Now for the futa appreciation. I think Sol is perfect for this, especially because the mere thought of Minji fucking Dani with her... HUGE COCK... so big and... were was I? Oh yeah, Hanni is also in this.

No. 25: @maemisnippets: You're Mine, Cheeks ft. Chaehyun (fluff)

In between 29 smuts, there is this one short fluff by our dear Maems. Well deserved, I must say. Keep it up, qt, always fun bits to read.

No. 26: @mintwithchoco: [CYMX-461] ft. Choerry, Jinsoul

Monopoly can be so much fun, if you are willing to strike some questionable deals to further your chances of winning and everyone's chances to have a good time. Bathtub sex?

No. 27: @nichuuu: Where our blue is ft. Rei

A beautiful story, it truly made me fall in love with Rei, her strive and determination, her failure, her rise---and the insane, drawn-out fucking at the end. Where our blue is has it all and I have to congratulate @nichuuu: In between all these great writers, this story really stuck out to me!

No. 28: @svndaysaweek: Niche ft. Hanni

Cute little Hanni in need of her step-brother, because she is so deeply in love with him... this was so adorable and sweet at the start and then went into an excessive smut part that fried my brain.

No. 29: @sinswithpleasure: You Can Watch, But You Can't Touch [At Least, Not Yet] ft. Mina, Sana, Momo

I. Would. Not. Last. There is no shame in me saying this, but I just couldn't, with these three hotties right in front of me. Blast it all over their bodies, hng.

No. 30: @xiakato: Ella Baila Sola ft. Xiaoting

Hm, maybe Xiaoting should dance alone, I'm not really good at it though my Just Dance scores would beg to differ.

Hey, if you read all of that, you're fucking awesome. I appreciate you, and hope, you have a great week ahead. Until the next MoA, goodbye!

#mondayofappreciation #kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #male reader insert

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rainbow-nerdss · 5 months

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Fic Writing review 2023!

I was tagged by: @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @aidaronan @exhuastedpigeon @jamespearce9-1-1 @theotherbuckley @aspecbuddie @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 (And possibly others, i may have missed one or two, sorry if i did!)

I can't believe 2023 is over, honestly. This year has had some ups and downs for sure but overall I'm so proud of what I've achieved. I started the year mainly writing Stranger Things fics, and while I still love that fandom and all of the wonderful people I met there, my inspiration for writing it was beginning to fade.

And along came 9-1-1. I am so happy with where I've ended up, and for all the new friends I've made since I found this show back in April!

Here's an overview of my year in fic:

Words posted to ao3: 235,060

Words written: 250,465

Works posted: 38

Fandoms posted for: 3 (Stranger Things, 9-1-1, MCU/Captain America)

Specifics and tags are under the cut!

Longest fic:

Crawling on Back to You 109k words, 30 chapters Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie, Rated E

Shortest fic:

Keep on Walkin' and don't look back 521 words Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie, Rated T

Top 5 by kudos:

1. Right in front of your eyes

9-1-1, Buddie, 15k

He and Chris, and Buck. They work, they’re a unit. Why should it matter that he’s single? Buck is watching him, like he’s reading every thought on his face. “You’re already planning to lie about the date. Why don’t you just tell her you met someone yourself?” Eddie shrugs and tilts his head to the side, squinting in thought. “She won’t set me up on dates if she thinks I’ve got someone,” he muses. “But she’ll want to meet whoever it is.” “So... Introduce them?” Or: Buck offers to fake-date Eddie so Pepa will stop setting him up on dates.

2. Pinky Promise

9-1-1, Buddie, 1k

Christopher Diaz doesn't mind that his dad's dating someone new. He's not dumb, he knows there's someone. The way his dad has been smiling lately, the way Chris catches him staring at his coffee, daydreaming like he isn't a grown man. The sleepovers Chris is suddenly allowed to go to on almost a weekly basis. Chris is happy for him, really he is. He’s just not planning to let himself get attached to whoever it turns out to be, just in case. He doesn't need a step-parent, because he has Dad, and he has Buck, and that’s enough. Whoever his dad dates, well. They'll probably leave, eventually. Chris doesn’t need to worry about them. Or: Eddie and Buck come to Chris with some news, and he doesn't take it very well at all.

3. Peek-A-Boo

Stranger Things, Steddie, 1k

Eddie tried not to stare. He really tried. He didn't notice at first, too preoccupied with the tub of pringles he'd been making his way through while talking about Corroded Coffin's last gig. Sure, he'd noticed the shorts. The ridiculous amount of leg Steve was showing, the way they hugged his ass, but it wasn't until Steve moved, lifted one foot to rest on the cushion, knees spread, that Eddie noticed another feature of the shorts. Or: Steve puts on a bit of an accidental show.

4. Definition

9-1-1, Buddie, 2k

It keeps happening, time and time again. People get it wrong. Whatever people say, it feels wrong and they don't know how to set the record straight, until Chris takes it into his own hands. or: 5 times people get Buck's role in Chris's life wrong, and 1 time they set the record straight

5. take my hand (knot your fingers through mine)

9-1-1, Buddie, 4k, written with @pock-o-pea

At least Buck’s okay. He’s outside, safe, doing his job. Buck’s okay, which means no matter what happens inside this van, If the crushing weight of the fridge takes him before Buck can get to him, if the van pancakes or flips or any number of likely disasters occur, if Eddie dies in here, alone, and in pain, then… He thinks of Mallory, of Jo. How they’d called out for each other. His eyes shut briefly as Mallory’s words echo in his head. “She’s not my daughter. Jo’s mother was my best friend… she saved me so many times.” Or: what 6x18 could've been

2023 Events I've participated in: AUgust, Fandom Trumps Hate

Current works in progress:

The bodyguard fic (somebody to someone) -One chapter posted, 3 more written and (almost) ready to post!

Steve time travelling in the upside down (of moments and unmoments (of time lost)) -One posted, two more in the drafts 😁

The break-up fic (you were my town) - Two posted, the third almost ready to post

Season 7 fic: 10 chapters, currently being edited to post

and then a bunch of isolated oneshots I've yet to figure out an ending for: 5+1 times Eddie sees buck with kids that aren't his, friends with benefits, secret relationship, Teacher!Buck, Buckley siblings kiss of death, Buck in the stairs (just started this one last night!)

Goals for 2024:

I want to finish posting all of the WIPs which are already on ao3, post my s7 fic before March 14, keep working on all the WIPs I have in my docs and of course write more and keep sharing!

Most of all I want to keep participating in this wonderful fandom I've found on here, I have had *such* a good time over the past year in fandom 🥰🥰

No pressure tags (sorry if you've already done this and I missed it!)

@hellwrites @the-emdash @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @911-on-abc @bittersweet-in-boston @kwills91 @trenchcoatsandtimetravel @spotsandsocks @devirnis @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @mojowitchcraft @wikiangela @steadfastsaturnsrings @sunflowerdiaiz @cardamomsage @velvetjinx

Also tagging anyone else who might want to look back at the year and I've accidentally missed!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

#fanfic writing #2023 writing

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suzakisbbygirl · 1 year

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Messed With the Wrong Girl… (part one)

Pairing: bf!Tsukasa x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, kidnapping, slight violence, mild language, happy ending

Wc: 1.4k

AN: The High and Low series simply does not have enough content, so I decided I would write some myself. Here is part 1!! Part 2 will be coming out soon!! I’m excited for this one, and if you haven’t watched the High and Low series, I highly recommend it :)

Much love ~ ember

I’m in deep this time…

The first thought in your mind, as you are being taken away. You can hear the group of boys who had just kidnapped you laughing, and high-fiving, saying that Oya High is going to regret messing with them.

Senomon Technical High School. Even after their brawl with Oya high, they still linger around like roaches in an old motel. They had successfully taken Tsukasa the first time, and now you. How did you end up in this situation? You were simply waiting for your boyfriend to meet up with you after school. It was rare for Tsukasa to be late, so you waited out front of Oya high, hoping that he would be there soon, knowing that even the entrance of the school is not the safest place to be. It’s not that you can’t take care of yourself, you grew up in a family of fighters and gangs, they taught you everything they knew. However, when it's one against five, the odds are shifted quite a bit…

Since you transferred to Oya high, your life has been eventful, to say the least. You were sent there because of your habit of fighting at your previous schools, and options were running low. Despite what others think, you are rather patient, and level headed, until someone starts talking bad about someone you care about, after that, its game over. Once you started at Oya, it was like you indirectly owned the place. Being one of the few females that attended the school, you always had someone around to protect you if a fight broke out, as it does everyday. The guys wouldn’t let you fight, but they were well aware that you could, if needed. Conveniently, you have the luck of almost always being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Inside the school walls, Tsukasa has always been the one to protect you. It’s one of the things that drew you to him. However, outside of the school, if Tsukasa wasn’t around, you were out of luck. Thankfully, most of your time outside of school was spent with Tsukasa, and Fujio.

However, this time, your luck ran out. One minute you are in front of Oya high, the next, there is a nylon bag over your head, and you are being carried away. You knew it was Senomon Tech, seeing the group of boys walking towards your general direction, though you were hoping they would keep walking past. Naive thoughts like that are how people end up in your situation, in this town.

Tsukasa POV

I am so late, and I couldn't let y/n know considering I was in the middle of a fight… I'm sure she’s waiting out front, it’ll be okay Tsukasa…

My thoughts running through my head faster than my feet are carrying me. The fight that broke out was unexpected, I didn't even have time to get my things gathered before it happened. Being late drives me crazy, and especially in a town like this, I gotta make sure y/n is okay

“Hey babe, sorry for not texting you sooner, a fight broke out right as I was leaving. Where are you?”

There, y/n is always good about messaging back.

*30 minutes later*

“Y/n, where are you? It’s been 30 minutes, it never takes you this long to answer? Are you okay?”

*one hour later*

“Fujio, something’s wrong, y/n isn’t answering my messages…”

“I’m sure she’s okay, Tsukasa. She’s pretty tough.”

“No, she always answers right away, something is wrong. We have to go find her.”

Buzz buzz

“Y/n? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“I figured you would be worried about her. She’s okay, for now.”

That voice… I know that voice too well. “Where is she, let me talk to her”

Y/n POV

“She’s okay, for now”

So he’s the one who took Tsukasa? And he thinks I’m gonna listen to anything he says? This guy must be an idiot

Simple thoughts rolling through your head, though they’re constant. Beating yourself up for getting into this situation, you avoid looking at anyone, as you are tied to the railing, unable to get out.

“I think I’ll keep her here for a while, it’s nice having a pretty face around. I told you Senomon would come back for you, and I know she’s the crown jewel of Oya high, don't go thinking this time will be anything like the last.” He said before hanging up the phone.

“How sweet that you have such a caring boyfriend, y/n.” The man said with a smug look on his face. “I wonder how long it’ll take him to call back asking about a negotiation…” he continues.

You dont let out any words, but your face says everything you want to, and there was no way that anyone could miss the message. Though you were saying nothing, your face read, you’re an idiot, and you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Picking up on the message, the man stood up, calmly walking towards you.

“I’m Amagai Kohei. I run this school. And I’m not afraid to set you straight if I have to. Be obedient, and we won't have any issues. Disobey me, and it’ll be another story.” He said now looking at you straight in the eyes, much closer than you would like.

“Such a pretty face, I'll keep you around for a while.” He says, grabbing your chin, turning your head to look at him, though you refuse.

“Look at me while I’m talking to you.” He says in a stern tone that you ignore.

Pushing you aside, he stands up again and walks back to his original spot. The silence fills the room, as you refuse to say anything to anyone, and everyone is waiting for you to say something. Anything.

“I guess things may have to be done the hard way. Suzaki. She looks a little too comfortable. Tighten her wrists more.” He says calmly, though you can hear the intent behind each word. He wants to break you. He wants to make you his. He wants you to be in pain till you have no choice other than to listen, because only then will he allow you to be comfortable. But you know your strength. You know that he wouldn’t be foolish enough to do anything too terrible to you. So, being the stubborn person that you are, you stand your ground.

As Suzaki walks over to tighten the rope that is around your wrist, you wait till he is close enough, and without any suspicion, his feet are kicked out from underneath him. Pure shock filled the room, and stretched across everyone’s faces, even Suzaki.

Kohei, with his short temper, immediately stood up and stormed to you. Grabbing your shirt by the collar, he took a hold of you. *Smack!!*

The sound echoed throughout the room, and shock filled everyone that was present. You didn't move. You let the stinging pain settle in, refusing to give the man the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt you. You bit back the yelp, and the tears, that threatened to be released.

Everyone in the room was staring, waiting to see what was going to happen next, and again, without a word and without suspicion, Kohei’s feet were kicked from underneath him. Anger taking over him, he grabbed you again, and let his fist fly, landing just below your eye.

Before he could do anything worse, Suzaki pushed Kohei back.

“Ko-Chan, we don't hit girls! How can you sink that low?” Suzaki says in a thunderous voice.

Without another word, Kohei leaves the room, storming off. Before Suzaki left, he apologized for Kohei’s actions. He would have offered to bring you an ice pack, but shortly after Kohei stormed off, he yelled for Suzaki to follow him, leaving you alone.

That night was the loneliest you had been in a long time. Usually you would be with Tsukasa, watching movies, cuddling, eating your favorite take-out food, but instead you were tied down, left alone in a room, in a place that you are not familiar with. The throbbing sensation on your cheek kept you awake, thinking about what Tsukasa is doing. Thinking about how mad he is going to be when he sees your black eye, and rope burns around your wrists. Hoping he doesnt get mad at you for getting into a situation like this.

#high and low #high and low the worst #tsukasa x reader #tsukasa x yn #high and low fluff #high and low fanfiction #takajo tsukasa #takajo tsukasa fluff #tsukasa fanfic #the worst x #h&l #oya high #Oya high fluff #high and low imagines #high and low scenarios

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whatsnewalycat · 2 years

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Just Dumb Enough to Try

Chapter 26: This Must be the Place

Word Count: 4.5k+

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Tags / CW: swearing, pregnancy, fluff fluff fluff, love notes, smut, oral sex (f receiving), teasing, unprotected PIV sex, gave javi some gray sweatpants bc he deserves it and so do we

Chapter Summary: Our heroes spend the morning together.

Notes: Chapter title from "This Must be the Place" by Talking Heads. This is the last chapter!! Holy shit! I'm putting this out earlier than anticipated because I'm getting antsy about it and I really like it as is. Seriously I'm going to go cry now, because I'm feeling sad and proud and excited all at once. I'll *probably* write more with these two in the future, though. That sounds fun. If you liked it let me know, pleaaaase, I'm a whiney baby that loves reassurance!! OK THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[ Masterlist for Series ] [ Taglist ] [ Spotify Playlist ] [ AO3 ]

Peña Ranch, Laredo, TX November 29, 1998

Your eyes blink open to late morning light pouring onto the bed. As they attempt to adjust from the darkness of sleep, you clamp them shut, rolling over to throw your arm across Javier.

Except, he’s not there. Your arm flops onto something crinkly instead. One eye cracks open and finds a pile of papers folded in half where your boyfriend usually is. Their ragged edges are intact, proof that they were yanked out from the spine of a spiral notebook.

You pick up the bundle and blink both eyes open.

“READ ME” is scrawled on the top fold in Javi’s messy script. You take a deep morning yawn and wriggle upright, propping yourself up on a stack of pillows. The comforting scent of brewing coffee wafts into the bedroom. Javi is humming along to the radio in the kitchen. Pans clatter and cupboards slam by his hand as you unfold the stack of papers and start reading.

—

December 5, 1993

I can’t stop thinking about you. How are you even doing this to me?

Yesterday I went to your apartment building. Your bedroom lights were on and the blinds were closed. I sat outside for an hour, knowing you were there, unable to bring myself to do anything about it.

Even if I could have gathered the courage to knock on the door, what would I have said to you?

I like the feel of your hand in mine. I like your laugh. You’re beautiful. Do you want to go on a date with me?

Those words shouldn’t make a man like me nervous, but they do. So nervous that I left San Antonio without letting them leave my mouth.

—

December 1, 1994

It’s been a year since I kissed you.

I had to leave. I’m sorry. Duty calls.

Maybe we’ll meet again. Sometimes I hope we don’t. It’s for the best. You’ll find someone better.

—

June 4, 1998

I can’t tell you this. So I’m writing to you. I know you’re engaged, and you’re happy with Dan fucking Baker. Even though it makes no sense to me.

But I’ll be damned. Every time I look at you I remember exactly what you felt like. What you taste like. I crave your lips on mine again.

—

June 13, 1998

When I’m with you, we’re opposite poles in magnets resisting the inevitable. The pull is so strong, I ache. You feel it, too. I can tell.

Your lips, your touch, the perfect way I fit inside you. I can never unlearn these things. I’ve tried. They’re etched in my bones. It’s fundamental, as central to my being as breathing.

I long for you, love. It’s torture.

—

June 25, 1998

I am in love with you.

So, here I am, writing to you, imagining I had the guts to say it.

This is absolute fucking madness, cariño. But I woke up next to you and saw you there and I knew.

—

July 30, 1998

I don’t know where you are, but I saw you. I can feel you. I don’t know how I know, but I know. You’re scared. I’m scared, too. I’ve never been so terrified to lose someone.

When I lost my mom, I didn’t get to be scared. One moment she was on her way back from the grocery store, and the next she was gone. In an instant, the sun in our lives burnt out.

You would have loved her. Everyone did, she was just that kind of person. She had a wit about her. Lit up any room she walked into, but nobody fucked with her.

She loved deer because of their polarity and intuition. They’re gentle, fierce, cautious, adventurous. They shed and regrow their antlers. She said they’re symbolic of duality, listening to your gut feelings, renewal and growth. She would have loved you, too.

There are so many things I want to tell you. I should have listened to you. I didn’t let you come with me. You trusted me to protect you, and I didn’t. I’m so sorry.

I promise I will find you. I love you and miss you so much, cariño. Please hold on a little bit longer.

Tell baby Peña I say hello and that I love them, too.

—

August 1, 1998

I’m watching you as you sleep in our bed. You’re battered, bruised, stitched together… but you and the baby are ok. It’s a fucking miracle, cariño, I swear.

I introduced myself to your parents in the hospital waiting room last night. Your dad looked at my extended hand like there was shit smeared on it. They’re right to not want anything to do with me right now.

It’s a good thing their approval means approximately jack shit to you. Because I am never letting you go.

—

November 29, 1998

Today’s the day I give you the letters I never thought I would, so I can show you how much I love you. How much I’ve always loved you.

Come out to the kitchen, baby.

—

You sniffle and rub the tears out of your eyes and set the unfolded stack of love letters down on the black duvet, then scoot to the edge of the bed. The floor is cool on the soles of your feet, one then the other. Javi starts singing “I Just Want to Dance With You” by George Strait. Your heart swells with love. You grab your fuchsia robe from the back of the desk chair and tie it around your body as you emerge from the bedroom and follow his voice.

He’s leaning on the kitchen island over a newspaper crossword puzzle, one hand holding a pen as the other slides his wire framed glasses up the bridge of his nose, singing, “I caught you lookin' at me when I looked at you; Yes, I did, ain't that true? You won't get embarrassed by the things I do; I just wanna dance with you…”

You greet him with a giddy smile, padding across the floor towards him, “Good morning.”

A smile stretches across his handsome face when he peers up at you from the newspaper, “Good morning, beautiful.”

He sets the pen down and pushes off of the counter, meeting you with an outstretched hand. You take it, and he pulls you close, placing one hand on your waist. He guides you in a clumsy waltz to the tempo of the music.

You giggle at him as he presses his forehead to yours. The lyrics of the upbeat ballad drift from his mouth, hot on your cheek. When the song ends, he keeps his fingers interlaced with yours and leads you to the kitchen island, where you take a seat on a stool across from him.

He goes to the coffee pot and pours you a cup, then sets it down in front of you. Steam curls out of the white ceramic mug that reads CAVE WITHOUT A NAME. You wrap a hand around it, humming with glee, “Thank you, baby.”

“Did you sleep good?” he asks, a grin spread across his face as he leans his elbows onto the newspaper.

He is up to something.

“I did,” your face flushes as your fingertip runs along the circumference of the steaming mug, collecting condensation, “I, um- I read your notes.”

He brings his coffee mug to his lips and takes a sip, then sets it down and asks, “Did you like them?”

You nod and your mouth gapes open as you try in vain to formulate words that could possibly explain the love and devotion bubbling inside you. Every moment you spend with him makes you love him even more. A feat you didn’t even think was possible. Yet, here you are. He wakes you up with love notes, dances with you in the kitchen, smiles at you with those fucking dimples, and you’re falling in love all over again.

The euphoria that cycles through your veins when he’s touching you. The dread that clutches your heart when you imagine existing without his presence. The deep ache of adoration in your chest when you stare at him long enough to feel sentimental about it. All the ways he occupies your body and soul. Every ounce of you knows that this is it .

Everything you can think of falls flat. Your face feels hot and your heart flutters. Happy tears prick in your eyes as they meet his and your eyebrows draw together, “You really wrote all of those?”

He reaches across the countertop and closes your hand in his, nodding, “I did.”

“Oh, Javi-“ the lump in your throat chokes you up and you wipe away the tears spilling onto your cheeks, “I’m sorry for crying, I just-“ you sniffle and pout at him, “I love you so much. I don’t even know how to explain.”

“I love you too, cariño,” he rubs his thumb along the back of your hand affectionately. His smile hasn’t faltered, even as he tells you, “I think I’m going to get you to break your record today.”

The record he speaks of is the number of times you’ve cried in a day. For the past week, tears have become a common reaction to overwhelming emotions. The pregnancy hormones are mingling with your recent life changes, on top of your predisposition to being a crybaby already, and have made you a sappy, teary-eyed disaster.

Yesterday, he found you outside watching Pickles wriggle around on his back. Your eyes were puffy and bloodshot, face wet from bawling. When he asked what was wrong, your answer was, “Nothing, he’s just so cute I feel like my heart is going to explode.”

Your record is 10 cries in one day. You’ve been awake for about a half an hour and have already cried twice. It’s an impressive start.

You sniffle again and wipe the stagnant tears away, then start laughing because you can’t even continue to take him seriously. He’s just fucking beaming at you.

“What the fuck are you laughing about?” he starts laughing, too, then makes his way around the counter to you.

His rough hands cup your cheeks and you shake your head as you grin up at him, “I just think you’re really great.”

“Yeah?” his smile widens, and you nod in response. He leans in and presses his lips to yours. The kiss is a sweet peck, and you link your arms behind his neck to draw him in again, lingering longer this time. He inhales sharply as your tongue meets his, flipping your stomach upside down. His touch trails back to the hinges of your jaw, and he brushes the sleep-mussed hair from your face as the kiss deepens.

A soft moan rumbles in your throat and you get to your feet, arching your back into him. His hands find your waist and pull you closer, and you can feel his cock hardening against you under the loose constraints of his lazy Sunday morning sweatpants. But he pulls back, speaking to you between needy, wet kisses, “Wait- mmm, gotta- gotta show you something-“

You pout and look up at him as you bring one hand down to his tented pants and rub your thumb in a circle against the tip of his length, “Can it wait?”

He throws his head back as a hiss sucks the air from his lungs, then brings his eyes back to yours and shakes his head, “Can’t wait.”

“Are you sure?” you bat your eyelashes and continue to tease him, feeling a bead of pre-cum wet the fabric between his cock and the pad of your thumb.

A huge smile spreads across his face as he shudders, then pulls you back in for a smoldering kiss. He shakes his head as he gasps against your mouth, “So impatient, cariño.”

“You want me to stop, baby?” you ask innocently, then roll your tongue against his and wrap your hand around his sweatpants-bound cock. He grabs your wrist gently and laces your fingers with his, then brings the back of your hand to his lips, where he plants a kiss.

“What I want-“ he lowers himself onto one knee and pulls a little black velvet box out of his pocket. Every cell in your body comes to a standstill. He releases your hand so he can open it, revealing a gold band with a solitary sparkling white gemstone, “Is for you to marry me.”

A surge of adrenaline floods your bloodstream, making you lightheaded, and you breathe, “Wh- what?”

Your heart pounds impossibly fast in your chest as he looks up at you with those puppy dog eyes and asks, “Will you marry me?”

Tears brim your eyes for the third time this morning, cheek-burning smile breaking out on your face when you answer him, “Fuck yes I will.”

“Yeah?” he laughs and his smile is all dimples and perfect teeth when he plucks your hand up and slides the ring onto your finger.

You laugh through your crying and nod. He gets to his feet and cups your cheeks again, thumbs wiping the tears away, and he kisses you with heat, guiding you backwards until you butt up against the dining room table.

You cease kissing and throw your head back as laughter bubbles from your throat, “I can’t believe you just let me keep fondling you when you were going to ask that!”

A smile stretches across his face as he chuckles and shrugs, “You’re very persuasive.”

Your eyebrow quirks, “Oh yeah?”

“But I couldn’t wait any longer,” his face softens into a loving gaze and your heart aches as it melts in your chest. He takes your left hand and holds it up so he can look at the ring he just adorned on your finger, and questions, “Do you know what today is?”

Your stomach flips and you nod, “I met you five years ago today.”

“That’s right,” the corners of his mouth upturn and he plants a kiss on your hand, “I fell in love with you five years ago today.”

Your eyes sting as tears flood them again, the deep well of adoration and love you have for this man just too much to bear, and you pout, “This really isn’t fair, you’re trying to make me cry now.”

His eyes fold into crescents as he laughs heartily, then presses his forehead against yours, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Javier,” you raise your hands to his face, thumbs scraping against the stubble he hasn’t shaved off yet this morning. He kisses you slowly, a series of lazy, wet lingering pecks.

His hands trail down to your waist, then over and under your ass, palming the cheeks over your thin cotton robe.

His nose nuzzles against yours and he hums in contentment, “Where were we?”

“I think,” you drop your gaze to his tented pants and smirk as you bring your grasp around him, circling the dark gray wet spot with your thumb, “We were going to the bedroom.”

He groans at the touch, then shakes his head as he guides you onto the table and nudges your knees apart, “I want you right here.”

You let out a soft coo when he tugs on the sash of your robe until it’s undone and falls open, exposing your naked body. He cradles your head like it’s made of something delicate and priceless, then drags his tongue across yours, sending molten heat dripping down your spine. His lips press against your jawline and he hesitates.

You whisper, “Kiss my neck.”

“Are you sure?” his eyebrows press together and he pulls back to meet your eyes, searching for reassurance.

Recently, you both learned that touch to your neck is a trigger now. He has been cognizant not to touch you in the area since an incident, in which he innocuously put his hand to your throat during sex, led to your hyperventilating on the bedroom floor.

Throughout your recovery after those two days in hell with Dan as your keeper, Javi has been fucking wonderful.

When you wake up in the night, screaming and crying, thinking you’re still in that closet, he holds you, rocking back and forth, singing quietly as he strokes your hair and lulls you back to sleep. You do the same for him sometimes.

In the first few weeks, when you would be alone for an extended period of time while Javi and Chucho were out working, panic attacks found you. You would call Javi from their home phone and he’d have you tell him all the things you could see that start with a certain letter, then he would talk you through grounding exercises.

If it weren’t for the support you receive from him and your therapist, you would be a catastrophe. As opposed to what you are now, which is simply a mess.

You nod and tilt your chin up, exposing the column of your throat, “I want it. I trust you.”

“Will you tell me if it’s too much?” his touch falls to your ribcage and ghosts down your sides to your hips, pricking your skin with goosebumps.

“I promise,” you breathe, and it turns into a gasp when his tongue massages a circle into your pulse. Your whole body shudders when he seals his lips against you and sucks gently. He migrates down your neck, leaving a trail of saliva shiny on your skin, sending your heart racing and your center vibrating with lust.

“Oh, Javi, that’s so good baby,” you whimper to the ceiling, raking your fingers through his hair. His lips emit a low hum against you, moving to your collarbone where his teeth catch your skin. Your back arches into him, moaning in approval of the sharp sting. He soothes the bite with the gentle caress of his tongue.

Rough hands skate along the tender skin of your thighs. The contact floods you with a neediness, and you grab at his shirt, whimpering, “I want you, Javi.”

He brings his lips to your ear and purrs, “I’m not done with you yet.”

“Come on,” you pout and reach for his swollen member, but he redirects your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.

“You need to learn patience, babygirl,” he chastises, then flicks your earlobe with his tongue before grinding it between his teeth. A spring of pleasure flows down to your cunt. You moan in response, pelvis thrusting forward with a mind of its own. He whispers, “Does that sweet little pussy need attention?”

The words slither around inside you, making you squirm, and you nod breathlessly, “Y-yes.”

His free hand splays across your chest, “Well, that’s too fucking bad . Gonna take my time with you,” he warns as he pushes you back gently until you recline onto your elbows, “Gonna make you beg for it.”

His hot gaze meets yours as his velvet tongue flattens on one of your pebbled nipples. His head swivels back and forth, dragging his tongue across the sensitive bud at a torturously slow tempo. Another shudder runs down the middle of you.

“Fuck- “ you gasp, arching into the contact, head falling backwards for a moment before you return to meet his love-blown eyes.

He responds by taking the nipple between his front teeth and tugging ever-so-gently. You moan from deep in your throat at the ripples of ecstasy that shoots across your body. Your cunt clenches around nothing. He moves to the other tit and works away, lapping and nibbling down on your nipple until you’re writhing beneath him, a constant stream of whimpers falling from your mouth.

“Fuck me, please, Javi, please- “

“I will, cariño,” he promises, planting a hot, wet kiss on your sternum, then your belly, never breaking eye contact, “When I’m ready.”

His tongue draws slow, lazy circles down the soft skin of your abdomen. The sensation rolls across your body and liquifies. He has you shivering and gasping at each touch.

You huff, "Now?"

He chuckles at your frustration, then instructs, “Scoot towards me.”

You follow his order, wiggling forward until your glistening pussy is right on the edge of the table. His hands run down the backs of your thighs, and he spreads you open wide, on display for him.

His eyebrows press into a crease and his lips form an "o" and he drops to his knees at the sight, purring, “I haven’t even touched this pretty pussy yet and, fuck, you’re already so wet.”

“So fucking wet,” you whine, rolling your hips towards him, wordlessly begging him to touch you.

His hot gaze locks on yours, looking up from between your legs as his tongue drags up the middle of your sex. Just a tease. A taste. You ache with want.

“Fucking amazing, baby,” he breathes, and his gaze falls from yours as he gives his full, undivided attention to your cunt. His soft tongue starts rolling across your clit and you ascend to a different plane of existence. Those same molasses circles he drew all over your body, leaving a shiny trail of saliva to where he is now. Over and over and over again as he groans against you.

The throbbing of pleasure keeps accumulating, condensing, slowly and steadily pushing you to new heights. Your face gets flushed and sweaty as your heart pounds in your chest. You roll your hips against his tongue, trying to get more.

He rises to his feet and brings you closer, pressing his forehead to yours, cradling the back of your head with one hand as he pulls his sweatpants down with the other. His pants drop to the ground in a gray heap, releasing his thick, gorgeous cock. His lips capture yours with force, and he growls between messy kisses laced with your arousal, “See- how fucking- good you taste, cariño?”

"I love the way I taste in your mouth," you pant.

His thumb slides hard against your overly sensitive clit. The stimulation feels like an electric cattle prod to your pussy, sending your body bucking and shuddering. The pain is layered, though, and a deep want lays beneath.

"Please, baby," you whine, grabbing at his shirt and tugging at him, "I need you, please-"

You bite your lip in anticipation as the head of his cock nudges your entrance. His nose nuzzles against yours and he continues in a gravelly tone that ricochets down your spine, “Is that what you want, baby?”

Your lips form a pout and you nod, then gently thrust your hips against his, dipping him inside just enough to pull a rumble from his throat. The electric sharpness of his touch on your clit is overtaken by a wanton need for him to fucking destroy you.

“Yes,” you whisper, tilting your pelvis against him, “Fuck me, Javi.”

He slowly drives his hips forward at your admission, filling you, sending waves of pleasure surging from your cunt to the tips of your toes. A moan is ripped from your throat and you throw your head back. He starts to fuck you, pumping into you deep and merciless.

His lips find your neck again. He lays hot, wet kisses on the delicate skin. You run your fingers through his hair and gasp, “That’s fucking perfect, Javi, holy shit,” then tug at the front of his shirt, "Take it off."

He ceases movement, fully sheathed, and sits up, pulling the shirt off over his head. The shirt takes his new glasses with them and they clatter to the floor and he winces. You giggle at the clumsiness. The gentle jostling of your body around his cock trickles ecstasy into your center, and you gasp at the sensation.

A sheen of sweat glistens atop his skin and he's panting as he meets your eyes with a grin. He looks happy. And in love. You probably do, too, because that's how you feel. The way your heart swells almost fucking hurts.

You beckon him closer, and he follows, leaning in slowly to press his plush lips against yours. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, arching your back into him, digging your fingernails into his skin. He throbs inside you, making you gasp. His moan vibrates into your lips, and he starts pumping into you, faster, more frantic now.

The way you're huddled against each other, whimpering between kisses, reveling in the divine pleasure each movement, each touch, brings you both. As it always does, it feels like you were made for each other.

As if he can read your mind, he rasps, "I fucking love you."

"I love you, Javi. So- fuck- so fucking much," you pant, pulling his lips against yours again.

He moans in approval and brings his hands to your waist, trailing up your back to your shoulders. He gets a grip on you here and leverages you down on his cock as he thrusts forward, setting a brutal pace. Your whole body buzzes and tingles, and the kisses grow more desperate.

His hips snap into yours, bringing you up higher and higher as your muscles tighten and your body starts to quiver.

“Javi-“ a choked sob escapes you as you start to ascend towards bliss, “I’m fucking cumming- oh, fuck-“

"Fuck yes, cum for me, babygirl," he orders through gritted teeth, "Wanna feel you squeeze me-"

You come completely undone, overtaken with ripples of ecstasy from your center. Your legs clamp down around his hips as your body spasms, and you can hear Javi moan in response to the sensation, pumping into you with reckless abandon a few more times before he spills inside you.

Slowly, your muscles slacken and soften, but before you can release his shoulders from your grasp and lay back on the table, he whispers breathlessly, "Hold on tight."

"Wh-"

His hands move to your ass and you squeal when he picks you up. He carries you into the bedroom as you giggle into his neck, then you both tumble sideways onto the mattress.

"Oh, that's so much better," he groans and sprawls out.

You curl up into the crook of his arm, "You're the one that wanted to- nay, insisted that we- fuck on the table."

"Mmm," he hums and closes his eyes with a small smile playing on his lips, "Just wanted to eat your pussy for breakfast at the kitchen table."

This makes you laugh, loud and untethered, "Worth it?"

He chuckles and nods, eyes still closed, "Worth it."

There's a flutter inside your belly and you gasp, "Oh my god, Javi."

"What?" his body tenses and his brow furrows.

It flutters again and your eyes well with tears, "She's moving. I can feel her moving."

A dimpled smile stretches across his face and he sits up, placing a hand on your small, but still noticeable, baby bump.

"I don't know if you'll be able to feel her kick on the outside," you tell him softly, then chuckle, "She's only a papaya right now."

"That's ok," he mumbles, smiling down at your belly, "Little Miss Rosemary Peña will be able to kick my ass before I know it."

"Probably," you tease.

He grins at you and shakes his head, then lays back down, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to cuddle you closer. A comfortable, warm silence embraces the two of you, and your fingers trail along his chest, his belly, his face. Writing love notes on his skin. He plays with your hair and watches you with love sparkling in his dark eyes.

You're home.

[ The End ]

275 notes · View notes

madsworld15 · 1 month

Text

I Am Still Here Part 3 (Brian x Justin, Support Group AU)

You can find Part 1 here. And Part 2 here.

As always, my lovely pals deserve a shoutout because they keep me inspired to write about this couple that I hold so near and dear to my heart. @winderlylandchime @maryp50 @lostcol

If you are reading this fic, please let me know what you think. I'm enjoying the creation of it, but I still want to know other people's thoughts.

~~~~

The Next Day

Brian groaned as his alarm woke him up. This whole cancer treatment journey was fucking him in more ways than one. He used to be able to function with barely any sleep. Now if he got less than eight hours, his whole body was fucked.

He sat up but couldn’t get out of bed completely. He got to the edge of his bed before his vision started to swim. The dizziness didn’t go away at first, but when it did, it was as if his body had transferred it to his gut. Brian barely made it to his bathroom before vomiting a bunch of stomach acid, which fucked up his throat.

Getting through his morning routine was torturous and slow. He nibbled on dry toast, hoping it would keep his stomach happy. A headache started to form behind his eyes and fuck if that didn’t piss him off even more.

“Jesus. Can’t you just let me have one good day this week? I have client meetings today. I don’t have time for this shit!” Brian cursed toward his ceiling.

He grabbed a bottle of water, the other piece of dry toast, and his briefcase and then headed to his door. Just as he opened it, two things happened. His phone rang with Cynthia’s number, and he found his mom on his doorstep.

He answered his phone while holding a finger up to his mom.

“Hey, Cyn. I’m on my way. I overslept. Don’t worry, I’ll be there before Remson arrives.” Then he hung up and stepped out his door, forcing his mom backward.

As he locked his door, he addressed the elephant in the room.

“Well, if it isn’t Saint Joan. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You know I hate when you call me that.” Joan tittered in disdain at Brian.

Brian, having successfully locked the door, turned around. The spin must’ve been too fast, though, because he gagged on the toast hanging out of his mouth. He sniffed and coughed to recover himself in front of his mom.

He forced a smile toward his mom and responded. “That’s why I do it.”

“I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so.” Joan tightened her coat around herself.

“You want the laundry list or…” Brian rolled his eyes, pushing the button for the elevator. “Why are you here?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could take me to church again on Sunday. But, by the looks of it, you must’ve caught what Claire’s family had.” Joan stood a bit away from Brian with unease.

“It’s called a hangover, mom. But I figured you’d know all about that.” Brian climbed on the elevator. Then, with a sigh, he added, “What time?”

Joan contemplated getting on the elevator with him and then climbed in.

“Service starts at 10. I want to get there by 9:30 so I can worship in peace.” Joan still stood away from Brian, “Are you sure it’s not the flu?”

Brian rolled his eyes, “Yea, mom. It’s definitely not the flu.”

A silence fell between them the rest of the ride. Then, in the lobby, Joan turned around again.

“So, can I expect you on Sunday?”

Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, “Yeah. I’ll be there with bells on at 9:30.”

“9. I want to be there by 9:30.”

“Right, okay. 9.” Brian sighed again, “Bye, mom. I have to get to work.”

Twenty minutes later, Brian was striding past Cynthia’s desk, a look of apology on his face. He wouldn’t ever utter the words “I’m sorry,” but he would definitely still convey them, at least to Cynthia.

“Remson just called. They said they were going to be running about 10 minutes behind schedule.” Cynthia grabbed Brian’s coat from him with one hand while handing him a glass of water with the other.

She followed Brian into his office and silently watched as he loosened his tie and crumpled into his chair. She had seen many things from Brian since his diagnosis a month ago, but this was probably the worst he’d ever been. Her concern dripped from every word as she spoke to him again, demanding his attention.

“Are you sure you can handle the meeting? I’m sure Ted would have no problem stepping in.”

Brian was about to respond when the door opened, and Ted popped his head in with a smile, “You rang?!”

Brian rolled his eyes and tried to focus his mind on the account files displayed on his computer. Better that than the war being waged in his gut.

“Yeah, Brian looks a bit peakish, don’t you think?” Cynthia motioned to Brian’s appearance while turning to face Ted. “I was thinking you should cover for him with Remson.”

Ted edged ever closer to Brian’s desk, a look of concern surrounding every single one of his features.

“He does look a bit pale and clammy. I think maybe you should go home.”

“I appreciate the assessment, Theodore.” Brian finally muttered, looking between his two employees. “I can handle Remson. I’m fine!”

Just then, his stomach did a tremendous lurch, and Brian’s vomit barely made it into the trash can under his desk. Brian heaved a couple of times before his stomach finally seemed to settle down.

“Are you sure, Brian?” Cynthia crinkled her nose as she took his trash into the in-office bathroom to clean it out. “I could easily brief Ted.” She called over her shoulder to the office at large.

She came back into the office, and Brian greeted her with a hand on her shoulder and a fake smile plastered across his face.

“I’ll be fine. Just be sure there is plenty of water in the conference room. I’ll be there shortly.” Brian went past her toward the bathroom to clean himself up, thought better of it, and turned, “Oh, and Theodore. There is something you can do for me.”

“Yes, boss?” Ted’s face lit up with excitement.

“You can get these flowers out of my office, not sure who sent them, but they smell horrendous. And you can call my mother and inform her that I won’t be able to take her to church on Sunday after all. I’m sick.” Brian gave Ted a significant look as he said the word sick.

“Of course, Bri.” Ted nodded in understanding, having met Joan on multiple occasions over the years.

Once he was in his bathroom, Brian leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He felt like utter shit, but he needed to stay the whole day if he didn’t want his employees to be concerned. He was the CEO, and his business was still on the rise. An illness rumor at this venture, no matter how true it would be, wouldn’t do well for future business growth. His mind wandered back to the night before when he’d spent time with Emmett and Justin. Since being diagnosed, his relationship with Emmett had only grown stronger. After fielding concerned questions from practically everyone else in his life, it was nice to know there was one person he could spend time with who wouldn’t hound him about his health.

“So, how’s work?” Emmett had waggled his eyebrow and winked at Justin.

“You know I’ve been struggling to get my art department to fall into line. Each ad campaign takes ages and multiple redos to get the mockups even mostly correct.” Brian sighed and sat down on a stool next to Justin.

“That’s fine. I mean, you are a newer business. These things take time.” Emmett reached out and gently placed his hand over Brian’s.

Out of the corner of his eye, Brian saw Justin sitting on his stool, staring into the tumbler of whiskey in his hand.

“I know, but Kinnetik won’t have anywhere to grow if I don’t make waves now. I need to pull in the big clients to just break even.” Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in through it to steady the nausea that was starting to come back. Maybe that shot of whiskey had been a bad idea.

Justin didn’t move, so Brian gently nudged his foot. The blond looked up and stared into Brian’s brown eyes with his blue ones.

“You okay? You wanna leave?” Brian knew that it was about this time in terms of intimacy the week before that Justin had bolted. It just seemed natural to him that Justin would appreciate someone checking in.

Justin shook his head and dropped his gaze. Brian exchanged a look with Emmett, who looked extremely concerned about this kid. Brian knew a deeper conversation with his friend was on the horizon, but thankfully, it wouldn’t be tonight. No, tonight was meant to ease Justin’s mind and give Brian a chance to unwind from the horrendous few days he’d been having.

Brian splashed some water on his face, dried it off, and headed out to meet the Remson reps in the conference room. He made a mental note to have Cynthia field all his calls until noon; that way, he could possibly lie on his couch and rest for a bit before diving into some of the work that had been piling up.

He made it all the way through his pitch with Remson without vomiting or making anyone think he was anything less than perfect. If any of his artists or designers in the meeting noticed anything, it was that he might be a touch hungover, which wasn’t anything new. Even Cynthia’s demeanor seemed to ease considerably the longer Brian stood and presented the new campaign to their customer. So much so that by the end of the meeting, she was smiling at him as if it were a typical day.

Brian shook the hands of the Remson folks as he saw them to the door. Then, he walked back toward his office with Cynthia on his heels.

“Cyn, could you please hold all my calls until noon and don’t let anyone past your desk either.” Brian snapped. There were a few straggler artists still following them, and he didn’t want to give anything away.

“Of course, Mr. Kinney. If Michael or Lindsay call?” He knew by her tone she was just asking out of courtesy.

“Hold all my calls,” Brian repeated sternly.

She nodded, left him at his office door, and returned to her desk.

BREAK

Brian was behind his desk once more, having laid on his couch to sleep for about an hour. The anxiety of knowing he had so much work to do kept him from truly sleeping the amount he should have. It was just as well because a few minutes after he started to look over the campaign contract they were going to send over to Eyeconic Optics, Cynthia came into his office with an apologetic look on her face. She had a glass of water in her hand, too, which could mean nothing good.

“I know you said you didn’t want to be bothered before noon, but two things need your attention. Leo Brown is on the phone saying he wants to talk. Do you think he’s wanting to come over to us?” Cynthia’s gaze turned to excitement at the possibility of such a large account.

Brian gave her his signature Cynthia smile. “Perhaps, but tell him I’m not in. Let him stew a bit, and I will call him back tomorrow.”

Cynthia nodded, put the glass down on his desk, and whispered in his ear, “And there’s a kid I’ve never seen before but says that he knows you. He looks like the artist type. Are we hiring a new intern?”

The moment she said he looked like an artist type, Brian knew she must mean Justin. There wasn’t anything specific about that descriptor, but something told him it was because the only things he’d ever seen Justin wear were jeans and graphic tees with paint on them.

“Either that or he's one of your tricks who doesn’t know a rejection. Should I send him packing?” Cynthia continued as she walked around Brian’s desk to face him head-on.

Brian gave a small nod of his head. “Send him in.”

Cynthia stood back and gave him an incredulous look, “But, Brian…” Then she leaned over his desk to get within inches of Brian’s face, “People will talk.”

“About what?” Brian scoffed, “Please just send him in.” Then he turned his attention back to his computer screen and the work that awaited his approval.

Sure enough, moments later, Justin, with hunched shoulders and his hands buried deep in his pockets, shuffled into Brian’s spacious office. He huddled by the door and refused to make eye contact at first, even when he spoke.

“I’m sorry to show up at your job. I just…” Justin paused and pulled his right hand out of his pocket. Brian noticed it was shaking and that Justin’s whole body had tensed up.

Brian lept out of his chair and moved closer to Justin. He didn’t want to get too close and spook the kid, but he also worried that something was wrong.

“Are you alright?” Brian asked, standing about 2 feet from Justin, who still wasn’t making eye contact.

“Yeah.” Justin rubbed his hand as it continued to spasm, “This is a regular occurrence since my bashing. Nerve damage, one doctor said, minor seizures was another one’s opinion.” Justin shrugged his shoulder.

“Fuck. And I thought my radiation side effects were brutal.” Brian brought his left hand up to his lips in a fist and bit on the top of his thumb, never once taking his eyes off Justin.

After a few moments, his hand calmed down, and Justin finally looked up.

“As I was saying. I am sorry for bothering you at work, but I was feeling particularly untethered today and…” Just trailed off again with another shrug of his shoulders.

“You wanted a familiar face?” Brian tried.

Justin nodded, “Plus, Daphne’s studying for her MCAT, so I’m kind of living alone at the moment, and that’s sometimes even more terrifying than being stuck in the center of a huge crowd.”

Brian backed away from the blond giving him space to move as he offered, “You can hang out here. It’s nothing exciting, but I do have a couch.”

Justin’s face lit up, and a smile stretched across his face, bigger than any Brian had ever seen before. It warmed his heart, knowing he had helped Justin have even a slightly good day. Brian sat back down behind his desk, watched as Justin slowly made his way to the couch, and sat down on it. The two began to exist in perfect silence for the next half hour. A few minutes after he sat down, Justin toed his shoes off, curled up into a ball on the couch, and fell asleep. Brian continued to work, hoping his phone wouldn’t ring so that the kid could sleep. It seemed like he really needed it.

Brian was looking over the month-end revenue and expense reports when he noticed an accounting error. While accounting wasn’t something he was a genius at, hence why he hired Theodore, he did still know the basics enough to spot errors. He picked up his phone and pressed the button to reach Ted’s office.

“Theodore, could you come to my office, please? I need to discuss the reports with you.”

“Right away, Mr. Kinney.” Theodore’s voice came through the phone in that excited, people-pleasing manner he was famous for.

Just as Ted arrived in his office, Brian felt the telltale signs that he needed to be in the bathroom right away. He smiled at Ted in his rush to get there in time. He sighed in relief after the vomiting was over. A hand floated in front of his face with a tissue in it. Brian looked up and found Ted.

“Here you go,” Theodore forced a smile while his eyes swam with concern.

“Would you knock it off? I’m fine. This new development in my life means I’m visiting the porcelain throne every few hours, sooner if I eat too much.” Brian glared at Theodore as he stepped around him and headed back into his office.

“Mr. Kinney, I apologize. It’s just. This is the second time today, and I’m a natural worrier.”

“Jesus, what the fuck is with all the Mr. Kinney bullshit?” Brian hissed as he took a sip of water from the glass on his desk. He glanced toward Justin to see the blond was still fast asleep.

“Well, I, uh.” Theodore floundered and then pulled himself together. “It’s the professional thing to do when it isn’t just the two of us.” His eyes motioned to Justin’s form on the couch.

“Oh, him? Don’t worry about him. He’s asleep.” Brian rolled his eyes. “So, stop with the Mr. Kinney shit. It’s Brian.”

“Of course, Brian.” Ted stuttered, wringing his hands anxiously.

“Anyway, I was looking at our expense report, and I noticed you carried this figure,” Brian pointed to Line Item C. “And this one,” Brian pointed to Line Item E. “Incorrectly.”

Theodore leaned in to look over Brian’s shoulder and he knew the minute the man saw it because he gasped, somewhat dramatically.

“Oh my god. I totally missed that. I’m so sorry, Brian. It won’t happen again, please don’t fire me.” Theodore started to grovel, which gave Brian a headache.

“Shut up!” He snapped unnecessarily. Brian then took a breath and tried again. “It’s okay, Ted. It’s an easy fix. This is why I review the reports every month.”

Then, for good measure, Brian added, “Breathe.”

Theodore nodded and stepped away from Brian. He walked around the desk and sat down in one of Brian’s chairs.

“Was there anything else you needed?” Ted asked, looking terrified.

Brian simply shook his head. Then, in a flash, Ted was gone. As the door shut behind him, Justin stirred, stretched his arms, and woke up.

“You rest okay?” Brian asked in a soft, gentle tone.

Justin looked around and rubbed his face. Then he leaned into his hands and groaned.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep. I hope I wasn’t in the way.”

Brian looked the blond man over. It definitely meant something that this kid thought simply sitting or sleeping on a couch was in the way. Brian didn’t know much about Justin’s parents or how he was raised, but the kid’s dad definitely did a number on him.

Brian got up from his desk and sat down on the edge of the couch, furthest away from Justin, so as not to spook him. The blond was just sitting there, staring at the floor, his eyes unblinking.

“I want you to know you can always come here. No questions asked. You’ll never be in the way.” Brian wanted desperately to place a reassuring hand on Justin, but based on his body language he could tell it wouldn’t go over well.

#queer as folk #brian kinney #justin taylor #fanfiction #brian x justin #alternate universe #support group au

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aniron48 · 5 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @anyawen! These were so much fun!

Answers under the cut, and tagging @sweetbabyangels, @mr-iskender, @stinastar, @aprettyspy and @thestalwartheart, in case you haven't done this already and it's of interest!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 30! That number seems astonishing to me now, considering I started writing fic in earnest like a year-and-a-half ago. 😁

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 138,358

3. What fandoms do you write for? James Bond, Glass Onion/Knives Out, and I just wrote my first fic for The Old Guard fandom, which has pulled me in by the lapels and refused to let me go. And the very first fic I ever wrote was for Stardew Valley.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. A Good Man (Benoit Blanc/Phillip) 2. rain (00q) 3. open line (00q) 4. The More Loving One (00q) 5. Must Love Cats (00q)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Ok yes I definitely do and I love to *and also* I'm so sorry, I'm 288 days (yes I just checked) behind in responding to comments, because this year has been...something else. So, taking the opportunity to say that a) all of your comments are incredible bright spots for me, and b) I am working my way steadily through and enjoying your comments all over again as I re-read and respond to them.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? WELP (eyes my pile o' fics warily). If we go based off the fics with "Major Character Death" as a warning, for a certain value of angst, it's a tie between offering and and the wind at their backs. But both of these fics deal with grief, and the complicated emotions that result from the persistence of love even after the object of that love is gone, and there's some hope in that, too, I think.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? lmao most of the rest of them other than the two in number 6? 😂 this is a hard one to answer, so I'll list my RomCom-iest fics for now (Must Love Cats for 00q and in a space that they belong for The Old Guard). Special shout-out to 'tis the damn season, though, because the happiness at the end of this fic feels like some of the hardest fought, to me, and some of the tenderest I've written, I think.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No--I've gotten a few less than diplomatic comments, and a couple people making unflattering notes in bookmarks that I don't think they meant for me to see, but nothing terrible.

9. Do you write smut? ::offers you rain and for the age of the earth, and after as if I am a sommelier presenting you with some very fine wine:: "this one has notes of--" you know what I'm just going to stop there.

10. Do you write crossovers? I haven't yet!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, thank goodness (knocks on wood).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! #goals

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Use. Your. Words., which was a collaborative poem for 007 fest 2023. 😁

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? I spent about five minutes hemming and hawing about this but you know what, it's impossible to pick. 😂

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Like Anyawen, I have aspirations of finishing all the ones hanging out in my Scrivener app...someday. Probably the one I have the most doubts about is a 5 + 1 fic where Bond tries out different activities post retirement. I still love the idea and some of the vision I had for this one, but it lives almost entirely in my head, still.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think maybe I have a good ear for language, both in terms of the rhythm of sentences and paragraphs, and for conveying a character's voice or accent. But it's hard to assess your own strengths, sometimes, so that's just my best guess!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm actively working on trying to be better at descriptions, especially in giving details about setting or background. I realized I give these things short shrift, sometimes, and want to change that!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'll do it with languages I'm fluent in (and have done it with Spanish, since I'm a native speaker).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Stardew Valley, in What Dreams May Come.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Omg, another one that is almost impossible to answer! I think I have to go with all the flags we've hung. This is one of my least popular fics--it's a rarepair, the love depicted in it is complicated (though no less real), and it deals with light topics like, you know, structural racism in the United States. As one does. But it's a fic that's incredible close to my heart, for many reasons, and I remain so proud of this one.

Phew! If you have read all of this you deserve a cupcake. 💜

xoxo, Ani

#20 questions for fic writers #my fic #this was a fun one!#also now I am tired 😂

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basicallyahedgehog · 7 months

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20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @maesterchill, I loved reading your answers!

Here are mine! (under the cut)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 30!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

64,491, which is higher than I expected actually. My one 13k fic is doing the hard work in pulling up the average words 😂

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter!! Various ships but mostly Drarry

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Love You Find - The one with the road trip My Heart Was Unprepared - The one with Draco's diary All The Time In The World - The one with gender euphoria The Strings That Weave Us - The one where Draco has pink hair The Evolution of Soup (Or How Harry Learned to be Loved) - The one with too much soup and a lot of feelings

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

No, but not by choice per se. But I have truly terrible object permanence and by the time I remember them I feel bad that I haven't responded yet and then I never do...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Til The End of The Night - I don't really write fics that don't have happy endings, but this is just 700 words of angst. Sorry Harry. I do have a kind-of sequel planned for this but who knows if it will ever get finished!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As I said, I don't really write not happy endings. But maybe The Love You Find.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've had a couple of odd comments, but none that I would class as hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written exactly two fics that have smut, one drarry and one poly golden trio. So I'm not sure if I have a kind? Probably soft and sweet, or at least that's what I aim for.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No I haven't, and I don't think I ever will. I don't really know any other universe in the same way as I know HP - both the canon and then the world I've built for it in my head - to be able to confidently combine them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd be open to it if anyone ever wanted to.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't! @phoebe-delia and I keep talking about it though...

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Drarry, always

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As mentioned above, I have twoish chapters written of a "sequel" (maybe more a companion?) to Til The End Of The Night. It's the first Drarry fic I started writing and it got abandoned in favour of fest fics and I've never gotten back to it. I would like to think I will, but at this point my faith is low!

I also have the first four books written of a Hermione-POV canon, which was my first ever fanfic. It has been long abandoned and will never be returned to. If you manage to track down my old ffn account and find it, godspeed to you

16. What are your writing strengths?

Ummm. People tell me I make them feel things, so maybe that? I also can't turn my SPAG brain off, so as long as I slow down enough to edit my own writing, that's usually pretty strong.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am not good at writing plotty things, and when I do try I find it really hard to not just info-dump it - to actually describe what is happening instead of just narrating it to the reader. I can do vibes, but not plot 🤷

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it in other people's fics, but I do not have more than a couple of random words in any language other than English. I know that translation sites exist, but I feel that I don't have enough knowledge of other languages to do it justice.

The only time I'd break this self-imposed rule would be if I was making new spells - eg using Latin.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. First and only!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh boy. Either All The Time in the World or (They) Keep Me Warm. Because both of them are full of all my trans feels and are probably the two fics that I have put the most of myself into.

Thanks again for the tag, this was fun! No-pressure tagging @phoebe-delia @otpcutie @geesenoises @citrusses @makeitp1nk and anyone who wants to!!

#tag games #writing things #my writing

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frecklystars · 1 year

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Omg not to overwhelm you or anything but look how much progress you're making!!! I know it's not fun to look back at the past but comparing your original post where you came back to now, can you see the difference? Or at least feel it? I know it's been around maybe a week since then(maybe, I'm kinda horrible with time) but look at you go lady!! You're simultaneously taking your time/precautions while almost speed running it and I'm so happy to see it

Oh thank you! HAHA "taking your time while almost speedrunning" made me laugh. Yeah I literally thought to myself yesterday that I think I'm like, 70% okay with the color pink most days now??? I've been flinching seeing it since January, now I only flinch on my Really Bad Days! or I'm handling it at least much better than I used to when I get anxious seeing it, I'm able to ground myself much easier. Which is great! I love pink, I don't want to flinch at it, I want to enjoy it. Now I only get the flashbacks when seeing that color if I'm having a rly rly bad/fragile day. I know I can't look at any pink transformer right now (so sorry Arcee and Elita-1 my wives 😔) but I can look at Princess Bubblegum and Pinkie Pie without any problems now. So that might be healing... knock on wood...

I'm hoping I can have that same improvement with the clothes I associated with my abuser too, I've been actually thinking about purchasing a JBWKZ crop top and wearing my shorts/boots with it when I'm alone in the house for maybe 10 minutes on a good day and seeing if that helps me overcome the trigger. Psychologists say it takes 30 days to break or form a habit, if I did that for 30 days I might feel so much better. Or at least, I will feel more in control. Or I can draw my S/I wearing Charlie Watson's outfits, or Marceline's outfits, bc they wear that same type of clothing... I've been trying to draw my S/I in a red cloak when she's with Steeljaw, like trying to view it as a little red riding hood thing, something safe. It's still really hard for me but god I want to get better so bad. I will do anything to make the ptsd go away. I am 100% willing to look at these things every single day (if I know I'm in a safe enough headspace to allow the feelings to wash over me instead of consume me) if it makes the healing process go faster. I hate feeling this way, I am so angry that someone made me like this. I want myself back, I miss Me more than anything else in the world and I am getting Me back!!! no matter what!!!

I was having a rly rly rly bad day yesterday so I was offline the whole day (my queue is always rolling, all the happy tags you see on my reblogged posts are from almost a year ago). And I was like, dang I'm never getting better, I'm stuck like this forever, I just want back what was stolen from me blahblahblah the usual depressed spiral, I felt that way a bit today too after waking up :( my anxiety is so present right now, there is SO much dread in my chest it feels like there's a physical weight on it. But I used to feel like this EVERY day! I've had 3 days in the last 10 days where I didn't have an anxiety attack even once! That's so big for me!!! Sometimes I wake up feeling shaky but the dread/weight of anxiety is not as strong, and I consider those days easier to work with. And I used to have days where nothing was "easier to work with" it was just hell. I wouldn't say that I'm feeling so much better than before, I am still really hurting, but I am feeling better! which is something!

And yeah you're right, if you compare how I was like, crying while writing my pinned, fully believing nobody was going to be there for me, I was like "I'm gonna write this whole vent post to explain where I went, nobody will believe me, I'll open 5 commission slots to pay off the most recent hospital bill and then I'll leave again and no one will have to care bc I'm not worth caring about" (which wasn't just a self depreciative depression thing, that was like, a genuine belief that was instilled into me for so long). And then immediately I got bombarded with people giving me the kindest words. I got almost 250 messages in the span of just 4 days, all of them people saying they want me to get better and that they hear me, they see me, they are acknowledging what I went through. I spent so long isolated with one single person who put me down continuously, and my family who truly did not feel concerned when I was trying to end my life. I did not expect people to be kind to be because I was conditioned to believe I'm not worthy of kindness. So the fact that I was able to go on my blog and receive that almost immediately? I actually felt like myself for a solid 6 hours the other day because people were writing nice comments on my art and telling me they want me to reclaim my TF F/Os and they're cheering for me. I didn't think I could accomplish something like that, feeling like myself I mean, bc I've been feeling so bad for so so long. I really hope I still have the capability of improving from here.

I'm still very numb most days and I've been masking my feelings trying to be rly enthusiastic with my public responses, putting a bunch of hearts and smiley faces when answering asks... today I'm struggling a bit, but I think I have improved at the same time. even if it's just a little, the improvement is visible to me and that gives me hope.

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #hahaha im speedrunning this healing process [finn voice] boyEEEE #hell yeah you ARE right anon. look at me go #looking at me right now compared to january. jesus christ #for me the biggest difference will be IF i can self ship again #so im not noticing the other differences like... how im handling my triggers #im having a bad day today so im actually kinda struggling to see my progress #but like. im sure theres more im not seeing

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mlobsters · 16 days

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supernatural s1e1 pilot (w. eric kripke)

because my brain is jacked up, i'm weirdly anxious about rewatching the show even though that's been The Plan for months. i watched 15x20 a week (plus) ago and every time i think about starting over at the pilot and writing them up proper like i did around s4-5 onward, my chest kind of clenches up and i look for literally anything else to do. i am worried about having feelings that i'm not prepared to deal with. which is fucking ridiculous.

hold onto your butts, this is gonna be a long fucking post

i've mentioned before that babies in peril is my number 1 hard stop on media -- i stopped watching killing eve mid-episode because of one and never went back to it (i intended to but never happened, brain weasels make everything hard.) so i know the very first time i tried to watch spn (several years ago) i almost turned it off because of little baby sam. that first attempt at watching i wasn't actually fully paying attention, i had it on while i was doing other things and so i missed all the character stuff and only saw it as kind of a mid horror schlocky situation so i never finished the first season back then. when i gave it another go in early 2023, i was giving it my full attention.

one thing this show always got? the cutest, happiest, sweetest babies. 10/10 would recommend

already freaking out how young everyone is and happy clean shaven john is extra wild

demon growl sound effect / padalecki's accent & jerk bitch moment

hey, it's the first instance of the demon growl noise when mary's burning on the ceiling! ooh i'm gonna be even more insufferable about the musical score and sound effects now that i'm listening for it from the jump

also i have called padalecki's accent/speech pattern the crispy r based on some tiktok i heard describing it that way - i associate it with california (but these clips are almost the opposite where the R is getting almost eliminated but not in the boston accent way), and i'd say maybe it was a choice but i think he spoke this way in gilmore girls too? but anyway, his Rs are just very different and it's a very particular and kind of subtle accent that definitely doesn't carry through the entire series ("bear it" in the second clip, the "sorry" in the third). i mentioned it when they had a clip of a moment from 1x10 as well in the pre-ep recap for 5x09

really well done and effective effects on that fire in the nursery

♥️💔

so this picture made it out of the lawrence fire (it was on mary's nightstand) but not the stanford one? i don't recall it being in the collection

i never really understood where sam was supposed to be timeline-wise in college, other than he must not have graduated because it was october? so there's me googling when you take the LSAT. so he could have (assuming it hasn't changed that much since 2005) taken it in june or october of the calendar year before he graduated. all right so that makes sense now that i think about it for more than 30 seconds. so he didn't finish his last year really of his bachelor's. and he's 22. i think in that alex irvine john winchester diary novel thing (don't think that that's considered canon but that's a whole other can of worms), it said sam graduated high school at 19 instead of 18 so i think that would make things line up (someone made a timeline that also includes everything in that novel but the post is loudly wncest dni so i won't link it). i do know it was just a mistake that the pilot said sam had been gone 2 years.

the ever useful canon discrepancies article at superwiki:

One of the most frequently debated potential canon discrepancies. Here are the facts: - In the 1.01 Pilot, Sam is about to be interviewed for law school, which could work on the assumption that he's just about to finish a bachelor degree (4 years). Dean also says that he hasn't spoken to Sam in "nearly two years." - In 1.03 Dead in the Water, Dean tells Sam that he spent "Every day for two years with Dad, while you were going to pep rallies." - In 1.07 Hook Man, Dean says "So this is how you spent four good years of your life, huh?" when they are researching in the library. - The original promo dates Mary's death to September 13, 1985, consistent with Sam being twenty and having been at Stanford for two years but out of step with everything else in the series. Eric Kripke acknowledged during a panel at the 2006 William S. Paley Television Festival that they made a mistake in the script -- initially Sam was meant to be 20, then they aged him up to 22, but neglected to change Dean's line from "two years" to "four years." Therefore, it may have been the creators' intention that Sam has been at college for four years.

this is gonna take me approximately forever to rewatch episodes 🤪

keeping my eye out for hands for drawing. have a general idea of getting something early seasons to go in the set with the 15x20 hands.

SAM Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45. DEAN Well, what was he supposed to do? SAM I was nine years old! He was supposed to say, don't be afraid of the dark.

classic john

SAM Yeah, I know, but still. The way we grew up, after Mom was killed, and Dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her. SAM But we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we can find. DEAN We save a lot of people doing it, too.

one thing i'm thinking about is how i definitely was under the impression that they really didn't know any other hunters until they start getting mentioned here and there (dropping bits of backstory about working jobs with xyz while sam was at school etc), and that they barely knew anything about demons. so i'm curious to see how much of that is me misremembering

SAM You think Mom would have wanted this for us? The weapon training, and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors. DEAN So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? SAM No. Not normal. Safe. DEAN And that's why you ran away. SAM I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing.

classic john x2. i know it's the pilot, i know they're bombing us with backstory like they need to, but i'm just like. everything about this ends up being pretty essential to understanding them and how they were raised it's so much 😩

DEAN I can't do this alone. SAM Yes you can. DEAN Yeah, well, I don't want to.

excuse me while my heart breaks into little bits. i knew that line in 15x20 was a callback to this, and it was heartbreaking then too. well actually it makes feel slightly ill rereading that scene from the finale. too emotionally invested

DEAN It started happening more and more, so Dad went to go dig around. That was about three weeks ago. I hadn't heard from him since, which is bad enough. DEAN Then I get this voicemail yesterday. He presses play. The recording is staticky and the signal was clearly breaking up. JOHN Dean...something big is starting to happen...I need to try and figure out what's going on. It may... Be very careful, Dean. We're all in danger.

so he coulda like. told dean he was ditching him for his safety in this sketchy vague voicemail, but then of course we wouldn't have them chasing him down with quite the same mystery. it's just kind of comical.

like this post puts it:

spn season 1 is so funny. they made the main plot line finding sam and dean’s missing father. but like. the guys not missing. he’s just avoiding them.

i'm sure (i hope???) every rewatch post isn't going to turn into a dissertation like this. good grief

hey. i was gonna mention that music was quite inoffensive and not bad at all and was about give old jay a pat on the back, but no! it's christopher lennertz lol. my ear always knows. so that's the originator of the demon growl sound

SAM It's the greatest hits of mullet rock. DEAN Well, house rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. SAM You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. SAM It's Sam, okay?

i mean so many classic interactions i can't handle it. also, real shame netflix didn't/wouldn't get the licensing for the music originally aired. i have the blurays but i'm down a functional bluray player so here i am, watching on netflix with shitty replacement music yet again. that scene should have had ramblin man and back in black. travesty. back when they splashed out for the good licensed music (and i usually was on board with lennertz's selections)

the comment about them being a little young for federal marshals (also in their kinda scruffy clothes lol) and wikipedia says:

Marshals Service hiring is competitive and comparable to the selection process for Special Agent positions in agencies with similar duties. Typically fewer than five percent of qualified applicants are hired [citation needed] and must possess at a minimum a four-year bachelor's degree or competitive work experience (which is usually three or more years at a local or state police department).

so i mean, sounds like it's doable! barely. (i'm not even halfway through the episode lol)

stepping on dean's foot, smacking sam's head. very good sibling stuff

meanwhile we're gonna pop jackles in some bomb ass golden hour lighting so we can get his pretty, pretty face looking even prettier. lighting doesn't match any other part of the scene, but if you can get them lit up in it, we're using it!

SHERIFF Can I help you boys? DEAN No, sir, we were just leaving. As the FBI AGENTS walk past DEAN, he nods at each of them. DEAN Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.

respect to the og (that was the show of my youth and my forever otp and also my first impression of sam and dean's relationship was mid-run mulder and scully)

s1e1 r.d. call as sheriff pierce / the x-files s1e18 as sheriff daniels

oh! and this sheriff was a sheriff in an xfiles episode, that's even better! that's brilliant. love to see it

those jeans and before dean had his signature logger boots which i didn't apparently really notice until s6

DEAN Yeah, Troy told us about you. We're his uncles. I'm Dean, this is Sammy.

uncles??? lol

another thing i remember really liking is these random girls aren't like.. tv pretty makeup. they're just random gothy girls with stark harsh eye makeup and lipstick and matte heavier foundation. like real people do! it just makes it feel more grounded in reality to me when not everyone's makeup is tv-perfect

y'all. look at this! so i have talked a lot about the computer stuff, whenever there's a screen (in any show i'm watching) i'll pause and check out the veracity. teen wolf had laughably fake web page mockups. and one thing i do recall noticing in this episode was real webpage urls! and even in the printouts which comes later. which they did not do consistently in spn seasons after this at all until much later

classic. truly. more smacks and shoves. it's okay, sammy. i also am a little bit of a control freak especially when it comes to computer stuff. JUST LET ME DO IT.

DEAN Monday. Right. The interview. SAM Yeah. DEAN Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl? SAM Maybe. Why not? DEAN Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done? SAM No, and she's not ever going to know. DEAN Well, that's healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.

dean's got a point there. which reminds me, did blurry wife know the truth? i remember there was some blurb about the story behind sam's kid having the anti-possession tattoo

wiki to the rescue

Though Sam's son has an anti-possession tattoo on his arm, there are no other signs of hunting in Sam's life after he leaves the Bunker. Jared confirmed at the November StageIt panel that Sam has not been hunting "in honor of Dean" because Dean wouldn't have wanted him to, but that Sam did tell his son about hunting and about his Uncle Dean, and that the decision to get the tattoo was Dean II's.

so probably yes?

(hands)

SAM And who's that? DEAN You're one of us. SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life. DEAN You have a responsibility to— SAM To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.

oh, sam. these early days he was chafing so hard against what other people wanted him to do. also relatable. and if only we knew about mary🥴

sam enjoying dean's predicament

SAM Salt, cat's eye shells…he was worried. Trying to keep something from coming in.

cat's eye shells?? don't think that ever got mentioned again

LOL okay, so the url isn't perfect 😂 missing forward slashes and no underscores in domain names, but they tried!!

huh. another family picture i don't recall seeing again. kind of backwards, longer brown hair on supposedly dean and short lighter hair on supposedly sam

so did dean grab john's leather jacket at this point? since he showered and changed in john's motel room. i hadn't thought about that. huh

SAM You can't kill me. I'm not unfaithful. I've never been! CONSTANCE You will be. Just hold me.

i know this comes up in fic periodically but i don't think that went anywhere, like the cat's eye shells

LOL i didn't remember that the woman in white resolution was her ghostly murdered children conveniently take her out

DEAN Hey, if we shag ass we could make it by morning. SAM Dean, I, um... DEAN You're not going. SAM The interview's in like, ten hours. I gotta be there. DEAN Yeah. Yeah, whatever. I'll take you home.

there's so many moments in this episode that i've seen in gifs and didn't realize were all from the pilot. but it's really interesting to me to see how like.. the show really kind of pushed how much dean needed/wanted sam and sam was resisting, and how i think it really set up dean as the more "likeable" character initially, along with showing off his pretty face and charm and all that. on a brain-characterization level, i always relate more to sam but i was definitely charmed by dean initially.

SAM Call me if you find him? SAM And maybe I can meet up with you later, huh? DEAN Yeah, all right. DEAN Sam? DEAN You know, we made a hell of a team back there. SAM Yeah.

the only thing that i think makes this episode not quite paced right is how they crammed jess dying at the end and the we've got work to do thing. it felt really rushed and slapped on. but other than that, what a great pilot. ranks up there with the hannibal pilot

#supernatural #spnwatch #spnrewatch #spn 1x01 #spn demon growl #christopher lennertz #spn musical score #hiky #spnhiky #the xfiles #r.d. call #spn clip #crispy Rs #eric kripke

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shadows-coffeebeans · 25 days

Note

Woo, new ask game time, am excite!

1, 3, 5, 8, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 32, 33, 38, 39!

I am so sorry this took forever to answer! I had it all typed out and tumblr refreshed before I could add tags 😭

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

I would say definitely cartoons, my art and friends (mutuals are included >:3)

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

Luca (2021) (I watched this movie over 100 times in the first year, lost count at 30 times and it wasnt even the end of the month it released (it released on the 18th)), Barbie in Rock n' Royals and Lilo & Stitch 💥💥💥

5. what made you start your blog?

I made my original blog to read miraculous fanfiction (never posted on it til like june of 2021, even then i didnt post on it much). I abandoned that blog and made this one cause the embarrassment of it was too much.

8. any reacquiring dreams?

Every December I get a dream where a badly animated Santa's sleigh passes by. There's always people treating it like a ufo, using for clickbait and stuff. I always thought it was like a projection in the sky or something and I always wake up confused.

11. what do you consider to be romance?

Idfk man

12. what’s some good advice you want to share?

If someone isn't harming themselves or others, let them be. (if that counts for anything)

14. what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

Be silly, to express myself‼️💥💥

16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Stop thinking about what others think of me and also stop failing my classes

17. name 3 things that make you happy

Friends (this includes mutuals as well <3), talking about tffs (and sonic) and drawing :]

19. favourite thing about the day?

I am awake to talk with friends (just assume when I say friends, I'm including my moots)

20. favourite things about the night?

The moon and stars <3

22. say 3 things about someone you love

I love talking about sonic with/to them, when they talk about their interests, when they go on random tangents (<- went more vague because I love too many people to choose)

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

My art improvement: ]

25. fave season and why?

Autumn, I know it's basic, but I just really like it :]

26. fave colour and why?

I cannot escape the purple

28. do you collect anything?

Hm, do the tags of random things I buy count?

30. what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

When someone leaves a comment in the reblogs on my art

32. how many tabs do you have open right now?

248 if you mean on chrome, 3 if you mean apps open (yt music, discord (on call) and notes app (where im writing this))

33. any hobbies?

Drawing, watching cartoons and reading fanfiction

38. fave song at the moment?

The disco cover for I Am All Of Me

39. youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

Defunctland, I love having him on in the background when I do stuff

#hashtag ask shadow™#thatwordybirb #friend ask :]#ask game

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gimmethatagustd · 2 months

Note

Just read Sunday Smut Bookclub! I loved it so much!! As someone who is still a virgin at almost 30 and is trying to parse out whether that’s due to being asexual or demisexual or something like that or if it’s the body insecurity and anxiety, I literally cried. Like if I could trust someone to treat me like Namjoon treats Yoongi to help me figure that all out ????? Or if I felt confident enough to just ask for what I want and need straight out like Yoongi did in this???

The line “Yoongi loves fics like those. They feel how Namjoon’s hands feel when he holds the small of Yoongi’s back and cradles the side of his face when he pulls him into a kiss” took me all the way out!!! Really the whole paragraph before about the way reading fic can make you feel comforted in general I related to and then that transfer of that comfort to this sexual situation!!!! Yo, like… 🥹🥹🥹🥹

But this fic definitely made me laugh too! Literally laughed out loud reading “Can I eat you out” “Oh, uh, ya.”

And the meta-ness was really fun! I didn’t read the authors note going in so I was surprised at BTS showing up and vocal line being members. I also write fic (though I haven’t published anything yet, I might sometime, but right now it’s just getting my thoughts and ideas out and most of my stories don’t have endings lol), and also (like Yoongj described) kind if stop at that moment before smut happens or gloss over it. Like I have one really great Namjoon reader insert scene that I love but that’s the only one I’ve been able to do with any sort of satisfaction and idk how I got in the mindspace to do it lol. So I related so hard in so many ways!!!

Bc I didn’t read the author’s note I dove into it thinking it’d be a nice lunch break smut reading sesh but was pleasantly surprised with how else it impacted me! Thanks so much for writing and sharing this!!!!

hi friend, sorry it has taken me a while to respond to your ask. i read it and immediately gushed to my partner about it (i talked to them about that fic cuz it holds a lot of my personal feelings about physical intimacy in it), and i wanted to kind of sit with it until i felt like i could give you a proper response and not just the unhinged shit i normally respond to feedback with

i'm so happy that it left an impact on you! normally i write fics just cuz i love writing silly little stories (i'm sure you understand since you said you write too!) BUT with this fic i genuinely thought as i was writing, "i really hope people appreciate this" - not because i wanted praise or anything, but an appreciation for being able to either 1) relate to the content or 2) open their eyes to a new way of looking at smut in fanfic and also just simply a sexual orientation that we honestly ignore in the fanfic community imo. i rarely see asexual representation, and so much of fanfic is about smut

like no shade !! most of my fics include smut, and pretty graphic smut, but it's exhausting to write as someone on the ace spectrum, and i think a lot of readers don't realize that. it genuinely takes a lot of effort, and not just cuz we want to write it well, but just... the whole thing is not what we're used to (and also as a virgin i'm sure it's an even more complicated thing to work through). add in some good ole gender dysphoria and YIKES what an experience

like, i haven't had sex with a cis man since 2019 kshdfkjs and yet here i am, dick-in-pussy'ing all over tumblr.com

ANYWAY thank you for sharing this. i hope you're able to work through how you feel with your sexuality. it's def a journey. and also it's important to know that 1) sexuality is a spectrum and 2) if you never have sex or have sex but are never truly into it like most people are, that's ok too! i wrote namjoon as this soft, accepting guy cuz i didn't want yoongi to suddenly like sex just cuz he hooked up with a hot guy. he walked away still unwilling to have sex in the future, and namjoon is cool with that. no one should ever make you feel bad for not wanting to have sex

but also, i would do anything kim taehyung asked me to do, so, sometimes there can be exceptions jdhfkjs 🤪

if you ever post your fic, i'd love to read it! and if you ever need help writing smut, i'm happy to talk to you about it 💜

#jai asks #supermarket-sweep #sorry this is long #but like idk #i have a lot of feelings #ssbc #happy things ✨

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c4llezz · 1 year

Text

SURPRISE!

Requested: Yes (I decided to combine two requests I hope you don't mind!). hello! can i request a fluff au, female reader x olivia hye where hyeju is tired from concerts and the reader flies over and surprises her?. Hi could you do a hyeju x reader where hyeju is overworking herself and the reader plans something to make her stay at home!

OLIVIA HYE X F!READER

TW: loonatheworldtour

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort?

Word count: 1.2K

A/N: I'm so sorry for disappearing and taking so long to write this, I hope it doesn't disappoint. I'll try to update more frequently and finish the requests I have on the message board.

A/N2: Merry Christmas (if you celebrate it)! I hope all of you had a lovely day and you could spend it with your loved ones.

A/N3: I hate bbc. My Christmas wish is for the girls to be free, and keep boycotting orbits!

Gif is not mine

Expect mistakes, happy reading!

“I really miss you”

“I really miss you too” you answered. Your girlfriend has been away from the country touring around the world, right now she just arrived at the hotel in LA for their KCON stage “But you are coming in a week or so and I can see you again.”

“But is just for 3 days before I go to Europe. I’m drained, I didn’t imagine touring would be this exhausting” she sighed “And I miss you” she repeated making you chuckle.

“Hang there a few days and when you come back for those 3 days you can come to my house and sleep all you want in my bed. Does that sound good?” She nodded excitedly at your proposal “Well, I have to go now, is almost 1 am here and I need to wake up early. But I’ll see you in just four days!”

“Four days? But in four days I’d be in Dall-“ she couldn’t finish her sentence because you had already hung up the phone.

Days later you were boarding a plane at the airport. Before you even had that call with Hyeju you had already bought tickets to Dallas so you could spend some time with her. You had talked with some of the staff members asking them if it was ok for you to stay a few days making the members -mainly your girlfriend- company, which took some convincing but in the end they agreed. Since the flight was 12 hours long you were going to arrive on time to surprise Hyeju when their concert ended, so when the plane took off you could only think about her and her reaction.

When you arrived in Dallas the first thing you did after getting off the plane was look at all the messages you had. One was from your mother telling you to send her a text when you arrived, the other one was from Haseul saying the same thing your mother had said. Then you looked at Hyeju’s contact where you had more than 10 unread texts

Hye🖤

good night

I miss you

good morning

have a good day at work

and don’t forget to eat

have you not woken up yet?

it’s almost 8 am there and you have work at 7

are you ok?

hey

the concert is starting soon, i feel really tired tho

are you mad?

did i do something?

You decided to answer her messages telling her you were busy and couldn’t read her texts earlier but you weren’t mad hoping to ease her anxiousness, you also told her to “take it easy” and to rest until the concert started which according to your watch was in 30 minutes. You ordered a taxi to where they were having the concert, not before buying some snacks for the girls and texted one of the staff members telling them you were on your way.

More than half an hour later, thanks to traffic, you arrived at the venue. You paid and thanked the taxi driver and then got out of the car with your things, the staff you had been communicating with was waiting for you “Hi, sorry for the time there was a little traffic” you apologized, the woman said it was no problem and then told you to follow her to the dressing rooms mentioning that the girls were already on stage.

Not even a minute after you left your things in the dressing room you could hear the voices of some of the girls coming to where you were, and then you saw the door open "-to change clothes…YN?” you waved at the four girls entering the room. “What are you doing here?” Jinsoul asked.

“Visiting. I brought snacks,” you answered and pointed at the bag with snacks you had bought earlier.

“Is great that you are here, Hyeju’s been in a bad mood today,” Kim Lip said “And she said her hip has been hurting.”

“Really?” you frowned with concern, “Since when?”

She shrugged “I don’t know, she just mentioned it today.”

You nodded thinking about your girlfriend’s message earlier when she told you she was tired, your thoughts were interrupted when Yeojin tackled you with a hug making you fall to the floor “YN unnie! I have so much to tell you! First, can you believe how many people had come? Also, did you see our presentations? Look at our outfits, aren’t they great?” she rambled “When did you arrive and why didn’t you tell me?”

“Yeojin, who are you killing on the floor?” you heard Yves’s voice, meaning Hyeju was already in the dressing room or near it. You confirmed your theory after Yves made Yeojin stand up, finally letting you breathe peacefully, and you saw her entering the room. She froze at the door after seeing you, her eyes wide in shock. Gowon, who was behind her, bumped into her back making the taller girl wheeze in pain.

“Surprise!” you coughed sitting up “Sorry, give me a second,” you stood up and walked up to her.

“What are you doing here?”

You smiled “I told you I was seeing you in four days, didn’t I?” your smile turned into a frown “Now, what’s with your hip hurting?”

“It’s nothing” she dismissed your comment.

“No is not. You’ve been saying it hurts since our KCON stage” Gowon said earning a glare from the younger girl, she had promised not to tell anyone.

“What?!” everyone in the room exclaimed.

“Ok, it hurts a lot,” she admitted “but I can’t let Orbits down”

“I’m sure they’ll understand if you can’t perform” you comforted her “And if you rest for a few days you’ll be fine to dance again.” Seeing her hesitation you added, “We can spend time together while you rest too…”

“… Fine”

“Hyeju, lay down for the rest of the show, everyone else go change we don’t have much time.” The leader of the group ordered. The girls quickly did what they were told while you and your girlfriend went to sit on the couch.

She laid down with her head on your lap, “My hair is going to get dirty because of you” she said when you started running your fingers through it. You didn’t stop, knowing she liked when you did that, her closed eyes being a sign of it. “I’m glad you are here and I didn’t have to wait another week to see you again.” A small yawn escaped her mouth.

“Are you sleepy?” she nodded at your question “You can sleep, don’t worry.”

“But I want to spend time with you”

“I’ll be here when you wake up and we have more days to spend together because I also bought tickets to Mexico city”

“Really?” she asked, her voice soft and distant “That’s great. You are the best...” you chuckled at her comment and noticed she had already fallen asleep, you were glad she had taken time to rest even if it had taken some convincing words, her health was definitely something important to you. You made a mental note to always remind her to take care of her body. Minutes later, the tiredness you felt from the flight had caught up to you and soon you were sleeping too.

#gg imagines #girl group x reader #girl group reactions #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #loona olivia hye #loona x reader #olivia hye x reader #loona imagines #c4llezz

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vacantgodling · 4 months

Note

unique writing asks: 1, 5, 7 (for any and as many WIP/s as you want), and 30

thank you valen <3 i hope you're doing good!

1. What themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

tbh its less about what doesn't get explored often and more like, the way that a lot of people do it doesn't do it for me so i gotta make it my fucking self. a lot of it does center around representation for men especially and most importantly queer and poc men. mlm relationships that aren't just teenagers, that aren't just completely happy and non problematic, that have MASCULINE men and positive visions of masculinity. nonbinary masc leaning characters, men over 30 that are complex and have rich inner lives and rich emotions especially with other men.

also black fantasy that isn't "black first" -- i really don't know how to explain it but as a black person i am MAD tired that every fantasy that a black person is in always tends to come with some caveat about being black or showcases black struggle, or they're a minority. i want fantasy that is a majority black cast and has nothing to do with them being black. i want fantasy where every character is an individual and their skin tone has nothing to do with the story. i want queer people who's stories who deadass have nothing to do with being queer they just ARE. i'm tired of having to lead everything with my identity and not being able to be just a GUY and i feel strongly about that in my works too. like yes, all my works are queer and poc and nd centered. but them overcoming these things or having challenges with these things isn't always the point, ESPECIALLY not with race like i am SO FUCKING TIRED of my race being a factor in fantasy man like i'm exhausted.

5. Would you rather write a happy ending that soothes the soul or a tragic ending that hurts the heart?

happy endings. i refuse to write sad endings. AT MOST i will write bittersweet endings, but i just dislike writing endings that are tragic. tragedies can be super good but i just don't like things to be super dour and i don't like things that steal away my hope. i want there to be some sort of hope there, even if it was hard won and hurts a little.

30. What is some of the best writing advice you’ve read or received? Why does it work for you?

honestly the best advice i ever learned or got was to write things that make YOU happy and to worry about the themes and shit later. the thing is: everyone has morals or things they believe in or shit that is important to them; trying to force them out and into a story is the easiest way to stifle whatever creativity that you have about the idea or the characters etc. if you're trying to FORCE yourself to create a message instead of letting one form naturally, then it just gets rough as shit. and at least for me, i've found that when i write what i want to write and focus on the shit that i enjoy, messages and themes come out on their own anyway.

7. Favorite description in your wip? (If asked more than once, respond with a new piece each time)

prepare for a lot and so i'm putting it under a cut lmao: sorry in advance for this overload but prose is probably the thing i'm proudest of generally speaking

CAGE

His first study of Hanzo wasn’t entirely fair to the man; clouded by anger, and distrust, and not to be dramatic, but definitely a bit of apprehension, but perhaps this was the first time Cassidy was truly seeing Hanzo. He’d thought the elder Shimada’s nose was like the jut of a mountain cliff; but was there anything more majestic than seeing the peak of a mountain obscured by clouds at the crest of dawn? His eyebrows were severe, but why did Cassidy only just now notice that they feathered at their ends like the wings of tiny birds? Hanzo looked like Genji in Blackwatch; when he snarled, when he let his expression fall flat, and lifeless. But here, and now, with a soft linen towel draped about his shoulders, his dragon tattoo near iridescent in the cresting evening, his hair once again down and fanning his shoulders, and gazing up at the expansive blanket of the stars with a quiet and meditative eye, Hanzo looked practically seraphic.

COME TO BED (one of my 3 buddy daddies fics)

“We can’t do this unless you take it off too.” And as with everything, Rei ceded. It was a painful show of trust; Kazuki could see it in how he hesitated but his hands kept moving, kept unzipping his tracksuit, tossed it; shrugged out of his tank top revealing a chest Kazuki had seen many times before riddled in scars. But it was different now; to touch it, to taste it, to feel Rei shudder beneath his ministrations, to watch him gasp and tilt his head back. Kazuki wasn’t sure what was more intoxicating: his skin, his reactions, or the trust they suddenly built here. They couldn’t go back after all of this, and like with Miri they wouldn’t. They’d fight, they’d fuck up, but Kazuki was beyond the point of not putting a name to this thing between them and Rei must’ve felt the same because he was here. He was here, here, here. Kazuki thought it and kissed it like a mantra to Rei’s collar, Rei’s stomach, Rei’s thighs.

WILDFLOWERS IN THE PAVEMENT (one of my 3 buddy daddies fics, warning for nsfw)

Better. His eyes seemed to say. That Rei looked better like this; domestic and falling apart in the safety of his arms, bangs sticking to his forehead from sweat and love. Rei felt better like this. Suwa Rei was becoming some distant thing to him—some cloak he donned before slipping out into the night, some second skin that was becoming too small to crawl in. This Rei, who let Kazuki strip his cock raw until he was over sensitive and panting, wrapping his legs even tighter around Kazuki’s back. This Rei, who met Kazuki’s wine dark eyes with a plea, a promise, with love, with need.

“K-Kazuki.”

“I’ve got you.” Kazuki said and it was enough, it was enough.

PARAMOUR -- dude there's gonna be a lot i went loco on the paramour prose

Hyacinthus glanced over his shoulder, only slightly; not enough to draw attention to it. The voice that rang in his ear was but a passing whisper, smokey like an open fire, and sent that same warmth chasing through Hyacinthus’s gut. In his peripheral, he caught sight of a plain black crow mask. In the dim electric light of the room, it glimmered with embedded black gems, only just so to give it the illusion of motion. It was a half mask like his own; the slow smile that came to the person’s face when they realized Hyacinthus was looking was far too telling.

Pretty dead leaves of fire and gold had begun to coat the cobblestoned streets of Halifax when Hyacinthus received another one of Aloe’s letters.

He didn’t take Hyacinthus’s hand, merely started off through the suffocating mass leaving Hyacinthus no choice but to follow. Hands and bodies pressed close from all sides—writhing and grasping, seeking to touch, to steal, to feel—to take anything they could get their hands on. Hyacinthus squared his shoulders broader and began to push. Whether his shoulders or the severity of his expression told them to move a small channel around him slowly began to take shape. That was the difference between himself and his wiley butler, who weaved and bobbed in and out of the crowd with ease. Whenever there was an opening, like water, Amon slipped through—fluid and malleable. Hyacinthus however, shaped any opening to his own size. Water in a vase, as was water to a mountain. They pushed and shaped each other, in ways uncomfortable to dwell on.

Moonlight washed the courtyard in pale blues and serene milk whites. Below this floating palace, the lights were harsh and gold. He could almost taste the stiffness of the air; choked with mirth and alcohol and the fervor of the night. The packed rooms of The Nimbus, the claustrophobic walls of winding back alleys, the grunts and groans of passion and pain; all of the world’s earthly pleasures, finite and pale delights compared to this quiet.

Entranced wasn’t the right word. It wasn’t strong enough. Transfixed. Illuminated. Anchored. Their lips had yet to touch, yet the only thought in Amon’s mind was the pleasures of the divine; lips and tongue and tastes of the gods. Hyacinthus was before him, yet he wasn’t close enough. He wanted to be one in the same skin. To follow the thread of intimacy until he forgot who he was supposed to pretend to be. For a drop of mercy he would kill for it; beg for it. A soft indulgency that could never be his but how Hyacinthus’s gentle caress of his cheek made him yearn.

Narcissus’s world was like glass. Delicate, intricate, finely blown and shaped, to a perfect sphere she could cradle within her hands.

THE GRAVES WE DUG

His thoughts wandered, as they tended to these days. Dark, hooded eyes roved over the small bits of scenery presented to him. Drunkards lavished themselves over poker and pool tables; brims of their hats tilted high in jubilation or low in deception. Graves’s own gambler was tipped low down; to keep the bright, fly addled, naked bulbs above from creating blind spots in his sensitive vision. He was a creature of the darkness and this saloon was too bright; too close to a normalcy long foreign to his mind.

He drained his bitter dram, then set his glass to the side. The girl who refilled it was prattling on about something he wasn’t hearing. He let his eyes slip closed.

Then, he was standing on the balcony of The Rome.

#i don't think i worded that first question well but i can't tell you how annoyed i am #i love being black but i'm tired of everything having to do with me being black #why can't i just ??? be in scifi or fantasy or romance and not have my race be a point of contention or something constantly mentioned #im tired #about renjamin #ren writing #ask games 2024

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graces5169 · 1 year

Text

300 prompts, categories and character descriptions.

Leave however many prompts you want with the genre of writing and any necessary character descriptions and any extra detail needed. :) (make sure you also leave

character x reader so I know who I'm writing about)

¡Prompts! (From Pinterest)

1. Why did you leave me

2. Am I that useless to you

3. I hate you

4. I love you

5. Can you hug me

6. Do I mean anything to you

7. Please stop your hurting me

8. Don't look at me

9. You disappoint me

10. I am (so) proud of you

11. Can I sleep beside/with you tonight

12. I'm scared

13. Can I hug you

14. Please hold me

15. Your hands are shaking

16. Stay by my side it doesn't have to be forever

17. Promise you'll return alive

18. I've always hated you

19. I've always loved you

20. Your safe now I've got you

21. Your the only one I trust to do this

22. Your too good for me

23. You've got to be kidding me

24. Have you lost your damn mind

25. Please don't leave me

26. Why don't you come over here and make me

27. Are you jealous

28. I almost lost you

29. Wanna bet

30. Looks like we'll be trapped a while

31. Just once

32. Shut up

33. It's not what it looks like

34. Sometimes it's hard to keep pretending

35. And if I don't

36. I can't help but stare

37. Make me

38. Can't you pretend you love me just once

39. Is your ego really that big

40. Come dance with me

41. Just shut up for one minute

Original/ (not off Pinterest)

42. What are you afraid of

43. Just love me damnit

44. I'm broken and unfixable

45. She's mine

46. I suggest you back off

47. Fuck off mate

48. I'm not watching you mope around like a loser

49. I'm trying to break up with you

50. Did you ever care

51. I was a fucking game

52. Im not your toy

53. She's so annoying

54. Your nothing but a stupid mudblood

55. You tried to kill me

56. I could've killed her

57. Im a monster

58. I hate myself to

59. How'd you do that

60. She never smiles anymore

61. She only smiles when he's around

62. I'd rather date Sirius

63. This time your 'prank' went to far

64. Just my parents

65. You don't deserve this

66. They don't deserve you

67. You have a beautiful voice

68. She's stunning

69. I have to go I'm sorry

70. I can't do this

71. Are we just friends

72. You could never hurt me

73. Your a wolf

74. Are you serious

75. I'd never date you

76. I don't believe you darling

77. You're cheating on me

78. It's over

79. Im pretty sure I'm drunk but you're really hot

80. We can't do this

81. Im sorry

82. It's better this way

83. "Fuck you!" "When?"

84. Im going

85. Im stopping at nothing to get her back

86. Because I'm in love with you god damnit

87. It's too late for me

88. I fancy you

89. Would you fancy a date day at hogsmade this Saturday

(From Pinterest)

90. Im tired of being your secret

91. Who did this to you

92. You are not fine

93. I thought you hated me

94. Im not leaving you

95. I don't owe you an explanation

96. I thought pushing her away was for the better

97. Nobody wants me

98. I want an answer goddamnit

99. No one's ever done that to me before

100. This feels nice

101. I haven't been hugged in years

102. Im pathetic

103. Im not happy here

104. I want my best friend back

105. Go away

106. If he can't see how amazing you are that's his loss

107. What are you smiling about

108. What's in it for me

109. Do you ever stop talking

110. Isn't this what you wanted

111. She's better off

112. Can I hold your hand

113. You can't do that shit

114. You can borrow mine

115. I'll wait

116. He hit me

117. Your one of them

118. I like your scars

119. Don't fall asleep on me

120. Can I date your brother

121. Your a deatheater

122. Don't make me say something I'll regret

123. Can I braid your hair

124. Your really pretty

125. Let me help you

126. You stubborn arse

127. Your in love with her

128. Stay I need you more than you know

129. Your killing me here

130. Tell me I'm wrong

131. I'd be lying to you

132. Lie to me

133. Prove it

134. I'll never get another chance to say this

135. I never stood a chance did I

136. Tell me again

137. This is why we can't have nice things

138. Do you regret it

139. I'm not going anywhere

140. Another nightmare

141. You've thought about it haven't you

142. We need to talk about last night

143. We were drunk we can just put it behind us

144. You were my biggest mistake

145. Are you drunk

146. What happens if I do this

147. I can't have you

148. Just for tonight

149. Be mine for just one night

150. She was crying because of you

151. We're not just friends and you fucking know it

152. You could die and I couldn't care less

153. I never cared

154. Please don't cry I can't stand to see you cry

155. Walk out that door and were through

156. Yell, scream, shout, say something

157. I can't breathe

158. I hate how much I love you

159. Where do you think your going

160. I'm not letting you walk at night alone three miles back

161. I need time and space

162. Run away like you always do you fucking coward

163. You can keep pretending it didn't happen all you want but guess what it fucking did

164. Can't we just be friends again

165. Stop acting like your okay cause I know your not

166. Just talk to me

167. Bite me

168. If you insist

169. I think I'm in love with you and that scares the shit out of me

170. I think your just afraid to be happy

171. I'm afraid I'll hurt her

172. Why are you so nice to me

173. Choose me

174. Shut up and kiss me

175. Your blushing

176. Is that my shirt

177. This is awkward

178. Please come home I miss you

179. It won't happen again

180. I don't see a future with you

181. Why are you helping a monster

182. Stay the fuck back

183. Please pull the trigger

184. Leave! I don't fucking care

185. I can't save us

186. So save yourself

187. Why didn't you tell me how bad it got

188. I never said I wanted a relationship with you so why are you crying

189. I deserve more than this

190. I'm not anyones favorite person

191. I just want to be wanted I'm tired of being needed for everything

192. I know! But you didn't have to use her like that

193. We can start over, please I'll do anything

194. Everything can be perfect so please don't leave

195. I guess we just weren't meant to be

196. You're always leaving me

197. Stop lying

198. If you die I'll go out of my fucking head

199. Your cute when your mad

200. And Your adopted

201. You gave us quite a scare

202. We can work it out

203. You're overreacting

204. You're all I have left

205. I don't care what they think

206. It's me

207. You make me feel safe

208. You guys read my diary what are you five

209. I don't recognize you anymore

210. You make me sick

211. Sorry can't fix what you've done

212. Do you really have feelings for me

213. Don't look at me like that

214. Give me a break

215. It's not a party without alcohol

216. Truth or dare

217. It's six in the morning your not having anymore firewhiskey

218. Your drive me fucking crazy

219. I'm dangerous please stay back

220. Did you hit your head as a kid

221. She's not yours anymore

222. She's deaf dumbass

223. I'm sorry for my brother he's an asshole

224. Oi, fuck off please

225. "I could kiss you right now." "Do it then"

226. What are you doing to me

227. Just admit I'm right

228. He's hot

229. Your my brother I'll always care for you

230. I'm personally offended I didn't get picked to be your fake date

231. They don't love me they're not that stupid

232. We'll what can I say I'm badass

233. Do I get bonus points if I act like I care

234. Excuse me I have to go make a scene

235. I'm gonna need therapy after this

236. Do your parents realize they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right

237. I'm going on a date

238. Will you be my girlfriend

239. Would you rather kiss me or Lilly

240. Your bloody obsessed

241. She looks so perfect

242. You look beautiful

243. I wanna become an animagus

244. Stop coming back

245. Do you love him

246. I can't love you

247. You made me better

248. You ate my leftovers

249. Just get it over with

250. Were best when we're together don't you think

251. Can I kiss you

252. If I kiss you It's gonna change everything

253. Fuck it

254. I'm pretty sure I just made a fool of myself

255. Can you stop ignoring me

256. I'm friends with a bunch of two year olds

257. Hug me

258. Oh deer

(Amortentia)

259. Chocolate, old books and rain

260. Cologne, wet dog and leather

261. Cologne, broom polish and fresh cut grass

(Pinterest)

262. Are you hitting on me

263. This was fun, we should do it again

264. You owe me

265. I swear I'm gonna slit his fucking throat

266. Did you just kiss me

267. Huh ironic isn't it I'm a lone wolf

268. You hooked up

269. You kissed her

270. Teach me

271. What are we

272. What if I do

273. I want you to be happy

274. I think your beautiful

275. Why do you have scars

276. Shut up before you wake them

277. This is why we don't listen to you

278. What do you mean maybe

279. Hey whose side are you on

280. It's okay you didn't know

281. At least my parents are still alive

282. That wasn't love it was a perfect illusion

283. She makes my heart beat at a million miles per second

284. I'm not in the mood to fight with you tonight

285. Come stay with me

286. Don't call me love

287. I always keep my promises

288. Revenge is my best work

289. Why are you up

290. He's amazing

291. She's not going with you

292. I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you

293. Why are you scared

294. Why aren't you scared of me

295. If your a monster for what you've done than I'm the fucking devil

296. You fucking traitor

297. I'll always love you

298. I will never leave you no matter what happens between us I'll always be there

299. Please stop

300. I fucking love you thats why

Genre/ type of story

Friends to lovers

Enemies to lovers

Fluff

Angst with a happy ending

Angst with a sad ending

Fluff to angst

Angst to fluff

+ more

No smut

Character x reader

Sirius black and reader

James potter and reader

Remus lupin and reader

Lilly Evans and reader

Regulus black and reader

Marlene McKinnon and reader

Characters house

Slytherin

Gryffindor

Ravenclaw

Hufflepuff

Any added features

Name?

Hair color

Eye color

Attitude/personality

Relationship status with parents and other characters

Any important details.

#marauders #my prompts #the marauders #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #peter pettigrew #lilly evans #marlene mckinnon #writing promots #original character

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chaoscriess · 2 years

Text

writing prompts !

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓! a list of my writing prompts! I originally got this list from @lovelyyy-luna but I took some out and put some in! still felt like I needed to give credit :) there are 222 here, but I'll probably be adding more. you can send in an ask stating which ones you want (minimum of 2, maximum of 5) and who you want it for :) you can also give me specifics about what you want the fic to be about :)

1. It's alright, I'm right here.

2. Why did you choose me? / You know very well why, Y/N.

3. I can do it myself!

4. I'm a monster! / no you're not.

5. Please hold me

6. I'm begging you, please don't lock yourself in your room

7. Give me one single fucking reason why I shouldn't leave.

8. That wasn't a question.

9. Don't listen to them.

10. Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.

11. I don't care what they think, to me, you are perfect.

12. You don't have to be alone.

13. This is illegal!

14. Your tutor is pretty hot.

15. Why have you been so secretive lately?

16. I think we should take a break.

17. How come you're the only one that can see me for me?

18. I just wanted to hear your voice.

19. I'm not helping you babysit.

20. Did we sleep together?

21. If you don't do it I will!

22. You're scared? Really?

23. This place is abandoned, don't worry.

24. This was a stupid idea

25. This is crazy..none of this is real!

26. You need to believe me, please!

27. Close the door.

28. It's three in the morning!

29. I should have told you a long time ago.

30. Why are you helping me?

31. You're in love with her!

32. We could get arrested for this.

33. Love is overrated.

34. Watch me.

35. I've missed this.

36. Was it all a lie?

37. This is all your fault

38. Are you happy now? Huh? Does this make you happy?

39. Maybe I'm meant to be alone.

40. Did it ever occur to you that I'm hurting too?

41. You said that you'd always be there for me. What happened?

42. I'm sorry what are you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

43. If I ever see you anywhere near her, you'll have to deal with me.

44. Is that a challenge?

45. Get behind me now!

46. Here, I have an extra weapon.

47. You scared the shit out of me, I'm never letting you go.

48. I am not jealous!

49. I think I love you.

50. Don't be silly, I want to stay up with you.

51. How about a kiss?

52. Dance with me!

53. We'd make a cute couple.

54. Do you trust me?

55. if you don't want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don't just lie and say it's fine.

56. Stop staring at me!

57. I said I don't know anything!

58. You don't think its a bit much?

59. Call me one more time and see what

happens.

60. Put some clothes on for the love of god!

61. Can you just give me a hug? Just once?

62. That was the last time. Im serious.

63. It's pitch black in here and I can still see that you're blushing.

64. Am I supposed to be scared of you?

65. I'm going to take a shower so you should probably join me. It'll save water.

66. You're just not the same anymore.

67. It's midnight, where the hell are you?

68. What the hell is your problem?

69. Why do you run away from all your problems?

70. You can't keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won't do you any good.

71. Hey, I know you're hurting, but you're not alone, okay?

72. I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression.

73. You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset.

74. Calm down, you're scaring me!

75. Don't look at me like that.

76. Were you ever going to tell me?

77. Sorry doesn't fix everything.

78. I've loved you since before I could read and you chose her instead.

79. You broke my heart.

80. I was alone.

81. We have to stop.

82. You left me.

83. I can't do this anymore.

84. Your hair is really soft after you wash it.

85. stop moving, I'm trying to braid your hair!

86. Would it be alright if borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.

87. If you steal the blankets Im going to put ice down your pants.

88. Here, let's share the blanket.

89. You're comfy.

90. You're my new pillow.

91. But I want to hear you sing!

92. We can talk over dinner.

93. Don't get up, I'll do it.

94. Stargazing was a good idea.

95. I'll be here to protect you.

96. It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway.

97. I heard you talking in your sleep!

98. Your bedhead is really cute.

99. I love your hugs.

100. You fuck with them, you fuck with me.

101. I don't want to sleep alone tonight.

102. I love you, you know that right?

103. I'm coming to get you, stay there.

104. Okay so don't freak out, but I got flour everywhere.

105. Woah, I never knew you had a tattoo!

106. Stop moving.

107. Im worried about you.

108. What happened to you?

109. You can't stay in bed all day!

110. You're a terrible liar.

111. Don't act so innocent!

112. Do you believe in soulmates?

113. What if something happens to you?

114. Are you sure about this?

115. I gotta say, I'm a little surprised.

116. I'm not a child!

117. You're screwed!

118. You called me, remember?

119. Do you need to go to the hospital?

120. Sleep is for the weak!

121. I don't like the way they look at you.

122. I don't want to be friends.

123. Let's get out of here.

124. Maybe you should sit down.

125. You're burning up!

126. I've got your back.

127. Walk it off.

128. I cant sleep. help me get rid of some energy?

129. I'm going back to bed.

130. Your heart is pounding.

131. It's too early for this.

132. Get on your knees.

133. I thought you said you knew where you were going? Yeah I lied.

134. Shit you're freezing, let's get you inside.

135. What happened to us?

136. Im not letting you sleep on the floor, get up here.

137. you're the only thing in the world that matters to me.

138. Feel like another round?

139. You were great last night.

140. Wow, you look even better in daylight.

141. My clothes look better on you than they do on me!

142. I had no idea you were into that stuff, glad I found out.

143. You should play with my hair more.

144. I don't remember ever having this many hickeys but I don't mind.

145. I don't know your name, but maybe you can share it with me so I know what to scream tonight.

146. The fun doesn't have to end.

147. I think I can convince you to stay.

148. Are you even listening to me?

149. Leave. Now.

150. What more do you want?

151. I hate you.

152. Can you just shut the fuck up already?

153. What the hell is wrong with you?

154. I can't do this anymore.

155. Oh my god, I don't care!

156. That hurt, you son of a bitch!

157. Pack your shit and of my sight. Go! Get the fuck out!

158. I could break your nose if I wanted.

159. Meet me on the bridge in an hour.

160. No one needs to know.

161. No one will ever hurt you again.

162. None of that matters now.

163. Oh my god! You're in love with them!

164. Please don't cry.

165. Please don't leave.

166. Please listen to me!

167. Please say something.

168. Promise me you won't let anything happen to them.

169. Promise me you'll stay.

170. Shit, are you bleeding?

171. Shut up and kiss me.

172. Somebody's in love!

173. Sorry, I thought I was alone!

174. Stop talking about love for a minute and help me kill this bitch!

175. Tell me a secret.

176. You said you'd always be there for me, so how did this happen? why weren't you there for me?

177. it hurts to watch you kiss her.

178. We can be friends instead.

179. I tried to move on but nobody is like you.

180. Does it look like I moved on?

181. why did we even break up?

182. Can I at least buy you coffee? for old time's sake?

183. I can't take this anymore!

184. What are you talking about? you're married.

185. I feel like everyone is forgetting I exist.

186. I gave you a chance and you used it to stab me in the back.

187. I've been alone for so long.

188. But you promised!

189. I think you'll be happy to know I'm not wearing any underwear.

190. I want you. right here right now.

191. Isn't this illegal? / probably!

192. You're really drunk right now. I don't think you're gonna remember any of this. / No, im not drunk, you're just blurry!

193. I have a feeling we should kiss. / Is that a good feeling or a bad feeling?

194. I love the way your hand fits in mine.

195. You can call me whenever you want. Even if you don't have a reason to.

196. why do you only call me when you're high?

197. Wait! don't pull away, not yet.

198. You look really cute in that sweater!

199. No I like it! I just can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes.

200. just call me yours already!

201. why dont you ever kiss me?

202. The first tome I saw you, I couldn't get over how beautiful you were.

203. Are you fucking her?

204. Can you hold my hand?

205. You can't leave without letting me hug you first!

206. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

207. You're more red than a tomato!

208. Your lips are really warm.

209. A few months ago I thought I was in love with you. Now, I know I was wrong.

210. My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes.

211. Wanna, like, I mean if you're not busy, we should get lunch! Or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time.

212. Your hair is so soft!

213. It's too cold! come back!

214. you can sit in my lap until I'm done working.

215. I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified.

216. I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.

217. If I could, I would kiss away all your scars.

218. I think I might be falling in love with you.

219. Your lips are soft. I could kiss them all day.

220. Ugh, you're so warm!

221. Dont run away from me, Bitch!

222. Please talk to me about this.

#billy loomis x reader #euphoria x reader #fezco x reader #stu macher x reader #ghostface x reader #maddy perez x reader #cassie x reader #cassie howard x reader #cassie howard #maddy x reader #maddy perez #maddy perez fic #cassie howard fic #fezco #fezco imagine #writing prompts #important!

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