#I'm crazy about mark lee
Text
won't let you go (this time)
pairing: lee heeseung x fem!reader
summary: back home for good after a semi-unsuccessful first year at university in a new city, you’re looking forward to getting back into the routines of your old life in the town you grew up in but the one person you’d been desperate to see doesn’t seem too pleased about your return :(
genre: angst.. ......... fluff, smut, college au, exes to lovers, second chance romance, slow burn
warnings: minors dni, british in a way that's not vague (might be vague.. it's hard to tell when ur british), so so long, sad heeseung, long paragraphs..
word count: 36,007 .. (apparently, i'm in a competition with myself to see who can write the longest fic)
playlist: seasons wave to earth, understand keshi
author's note: writing this fic was like pulling teeth and then cooking pasta out of it.. bUT IT'S DONE !!! also one of these scenes is smth i reworked from a fic i posted to wattpad in 2021.. thanks @asahicore for the beta u rock ! and as always be lmk ur thoughts (positive/negative/anything) 🤍
fic taglist: @enhastolemyheart
Lee Heeseung had often imagined what it would be like when he saw you again.
Sometimes, he envisioned you standing on his doorstep, playing with the cuffs of your sweater. Other times he’d dream up a chance encounter at the local grocery shop, where you’d be distracted and bump the end of your trolley into his. He’d even pictured a sun-soaked vacation, a gorgeous white sand beach where the temperature would be inching past the thirties. You, laying out on a patterned towel, lost in the pages of a book, and your pretty face obscured by its cover. Yet, even with the sun in his eyes and his poor vision, he’d recognise you without a doubt.
Regardless of circumstance or setting, in all of his hazy daydreams, you’d look up at him with unbridled love in your eyes and say the words he wanted to hear all those months ago: I choose you.
Heeseung had always imagined that his heart might glow in his chest, through his shirt like something from Jane the Virgin, and you’d know you made the wrong decision.
But sometimes, typically when in an alcohol-fuelled state of despondence, these images would be rougher around the edges. Heeseung would be hot, with bleach-blond hair and thick dark brows—a walking, talking beacon of sexual energy when you’d see him. In his head, it would happen at a party or a club somewhere, and he’d be too busy talking to another girl to notice you, his arm hanging off of her, lust clear in his eyes. Somehow, even in sweatpants and an old hoodie of his, you’d still look as beautiful as always.
“Heeseung,” you’d say, completely crushed with tears welling up in your eyes under furrowed brows. “I choose you.”
Reluctantly, he’d draw his eyes away from the girl and notice you, finally, and a smile would spread on his lips, a mean one, condescending. He’d shrug, wrapping his arm tighter around the girl and say, “You’re too late.” He wouldn’t mean it, but he’d say it just to drive you crazy. Make you beg him to take you back for months until he felt you’d suffered enough—as much as he had.
These thoughts were few and far between and mainly followed by hot, guilty tears rolling down his cheeks because he knew it was his fault. After all, he was the one to let you go.
For now though, the little round table in Mark’s backyard seats four, and, in the arms of a balmy summer night, Heeseung chooses the seat closest to the fence. The garden light is still busted so in his seat of choice, furthest from the kitchen door, he’ll go completely unnoticed but still see anyone who might join him outside.
His phone is freezing when he takes it from his pocket and unsurprisingly holds no notifications beyond the outsiiiide text he’d gotten from Jake before the party started. Through Instagram stories, Heeseung watches the night play out from the perspective of people who are enjoying themselves while ignoring the voice in his head that tells him he could be one of those people if he tried.
Maybe he was a fool for believing that tonight would go differently and that the boys would keep their ‘bro’s night’ promise for longer than it took to cross the threshold—but it’s not like he blames them. Maybe he was a fool for believing he would find more company than his somewhat abandoned bottle of Peroni that watches him mockingly from the glass table.
He grimaces after taking a sip from it, remembering that he was only ever carrying it around so his friends wouldn’t feel the need to load him with shots. Now he’s not so sure that would’ve been a bad thing, seeing as he’s completely sober and aware of the tightness in his chest as he scrolls through the text thread he’s had pinned for years. Its end came abruptly; revived only by an ignored blue bubble saying: i heard you’re back home for the summer..
Seeing it now, he regrets hitting send even more than he did two weeks ago. Heeseung hates himself for believing the boys when they said it was a good thing that you opened the message right away. “Means she’s thinking of u 2 dude,” was Jake's message to the group chat (along with four bicep emojis and two red exclamation marks). Jay replied: i hope you guys can talk things out! And Sunghoon didn’t say anything.
All your conversations bring up memories that hurt more than the last but he has to take a break when he reaches a text you sent last January: i had so much fun tonight, hee, idk how to thank u enough :((( i hope ur not in too much trouble.. i love you i love you and i’ll love you forever !!!
He ended up getting grounded for three weeks and lost car privileges for months after staying out four hours past curfew, but he’d do it a million times over if it meant he’d get to see you as happy as you were that night on the two-hour drive back, running your fingertips over the Sharpie autograph of your favourite author on the book’s front page—“Heeseung?”
His jaw falls slack and his whole body stiffens. If you don’t count old videos in his camera roll, Heeseung hasn’t heard your voice in over a year. The back door slides shut and when he finally lifts his head, he wants to throw up. Even without the glow of the kitchen lights on your face, he’d still be able to make out the cute point of your nose, and the slight curve of your soft lips. Unfortunately, the breakup only seems to have made you even more beautiful and he hates himself for wishing you were having a hard time too.
“Hey,” you say. “Can I sit?”
Regaining his mobility, he moves his shoulders in a stiff shrug. The sound of your chair scraping the concrete makes him cringe and he hates that you chose the seat closest to him.
“I didn’t think you’d be here tonight.”
Heeseung scoffs, his brows furrowing defensively. “You didn’t think I’d be at my friend’s party?”
You set your jaw. “Okay.”
An unbearable silence follows, so heavy he can feel it sitting on his shoulders, weighing him down. There’s no way to know how much time has passed but he feels less tense when you start to hum, drumming your fingers against the table to the beat of whatever song the kitchen door is struggling to muffle. If he doesn’t think too hard about the lingering quiet, it feels like everything is okay between you two.
His heart races when you giggle. “You still do that?”
“Do what?”
You smile before mirroring his expression, puffing up your cheeks and exhaling dramatically a few times. Due to the heat, nothing comes of it but you laugh anyway. “You always liked when it was cold enough out to see your breath. I remember having to nudge you every night of summer to get you to stop.”
To Heeseung, there’s something sinister about the fact that you can so easily bring up a memory you share with him. About the fact that even after what happened, his cheeks heat up just from seeing you grin. He deflates, unable to look at you, finding interest in the label on his bottle instead. It’s slightly curled up at its edge, and he runs his thumb over it a few times before peeling it off completely—with some struggle, leaving a sticky patch in its wake. Under your loaded stare, he folds it a little to make a square before trying to craft a swan or a crane (you were the one who knew these things) from the sticker.
Your hands are just as soft as he remembers when your fingers touch his, though it shocks him so much he drops the label, immediately withdrawing his hands and, for lack of a better option, sitting on them. Even softer than your hands is your voice when you say, “I don’t want things to be so tense between us.”
It must be easy, he thinks. For you to say something like that after dumping him. Heeseung wants to laugh, to let his head fall back and cackle from sheer disbelief; you really must have some nerve. Instead, a bitterness, raging and sour, works in his chest, choking the laughter into silence. It pushes his lips into a scowl as he lifts his head to look at you. You’re shivering with your arms crossed over your chest and Heeseung softens. Without thinking, he shrugs off his flannel to drape it over your shoulders, almost regretting it when he fixes his tongue to scold you playfully like he used to. Still too hot for a jacket, right, baby? he wants to say. This is the last time I’m doing this for you, next time you’re on your own. Heeseung figures that somewhere, in another reality where you’re still together, a version of him says these things but continues to give you his flannels and jackets anyway.
He’d give anything to be that Heeseung instead.
Over the last year, he’s been replacing the clothes in his wardrobe. He noticed that during your time together you steadily wore every t-shirt, flannel, and hoodie he owned. Now, as you thank him with a sincere smile, he realises he’ll have to donate his new favourite shirt too.
“What’s in your pocket?” you ask, reaching in to find out. A bleak carton of cigarettes sits full in your hands as you look over at him with wide eyes. “You smoke now?”
“No.” Heeseung shakes his head. “Never.”
Back and forth between your hands, the box and its contents rustle. “Really? Because this—” You pause to pull a lighter from the same pocket. “—and this tell me something different.”
“Sunghoon’s quitting again,” he explains, with air quotes around the word quitting.
“Oh.” You let out a laugh, nodding fondly. “He’s on, like, five weeks or something by now, though, right? Surely you don’t still need to carry these around for him.”
His head tilts so quickly he hurts his neck. With knitted brows, he inspects you. Nothing about your expression seems like you’re trying to hurt him, in truth, you look like you’re being quite sincere; your eyes are wide, curious, and your lips are quirked up at the corners with an amusement he adores. “Six,” he corrects. “How do you know?”
“He told me.”
“You guys still talk?”
A shoulder-dropping sigh falls from your mouth as you put the cigarettes and lighter back in his pocket, raking a hand through your hair. “You’re the only one who doesn’t talk to me anymore,” you say in a small voice.
The five of you stuck together in high school — where he and Jay first met you, Jake, and Sunghoon — and he knew it would be unreasonable for him to expect your shared friends, especially the youngest two whom you’d known longer, to turn on you. He also figured, given how close you’d grown to Jay, and his undying rationality, that his best friend would outright refuse to shun you on Heeseung’s behalf. Even though they didn’t need his permission, he told them that he didn’t want them to feel like they had to pick sides and that he was perfectly happy for them to keep talking to you. On one condition: that none of them tell him anything about you or your life without him unless you’re hurt—a condition they’ve clearly carried out more faithfully than Heeseung expected them to.
Bile rises in his throat thinking about all the things your friends have kept from him about your year away. His heart twists over mundane details like your class schedules and favourite things to eat for lunch, and his eyes sting with tears over the important stuff like new friends and, worst of all, new partners.
Heeseung jolts out of his chair, knocking the table so hard with his thighs that his bottle tips over. You’re quick to catch it. “My mum’s calling,” he blurts out, overwhelmed.
“Heeseung.”
“I really have to go.”
“Heeseung!” you call out, but he’s already back inside.
You don’t follow him.
But that was in June, and now it’s September.
While his friends complain about the chill of autumn, Heeseung’s just happy he can comfortably wear hoodies everywhere again. In a cool lecture hall, home to his Ethics and Responsibility class for the next few months, he relishes the feeling of soft cotton against his ears as he copies the course reading list into the first page of his notebook.
“Is someone sitting here?”
Heeseung’s stomach sinks to the floor. Reluctantly, he lifts his head, and through the gaps in his bangs, he sees you and the way your face falls when you see him, instantly looking around the room.
“Oh,” you say, eyes blown. “I’m sorry, I’ll just..” you trail off.
He scans the room, chewing his lip when he realises that, despite the lecturer not having arrived yet, the seat to his left, with his backpack on it, is the only empty one. “It’s okay,” he says, trying to seem nonchalant as he takes his bag from the chair and puts it on the floor.
“Thanks,” you mumble, frowning a little as you sit down.
In the light of day, he really sees you and a lone butterfly, one he was sure had died with the rest last year, flutters lazily in his stomach—wings buzzing against the lining, tickling him. Even with messy hair and tired bags under your eyes, you’re just as beautiful as the first time he saw you. It’s unfair, he thinks. That you could be dealing with this and still manage to look presentable. Jealousy kills the butterfly, stirring a pit in his belly at the thought that you were able to break up with him and continue with life as normal on the other end of the country, making new friends and new memories as if nothing happened.
Even when Dr. Kim comes in and starts the class, Heeseung can’t take his eyes off of you. You haven’t lost any of your mannerisms, he notices when you stick your tongue out a little while typing notes as the lecturer says them, barely looking up from your laptop to see the slides.
At the end of the lecture, all he has to show for it is the reading list and a couple of bullet points that seemed important as he copied them from your screen. Side by side, you silently walk down the stairs to leave the room, and the sight of Sunghoon through the doorway pulls a relieved sigh from Heeseung’s chest.
Sunghoon’s brows raise seeing you together and he clears his throat when you’re close enough. “Hey, you two! My little study buddies,” he says in a strained voice. “First day back! First day for you, YN, what was that like?” He sounds like he’s reading from a script as he walks between you.
Heeseung lets you answer, listening to your voice as he walks behind you down the stairs. He wonders if things will be this way forever, briefly contemplating throwing himself over the bannister so he doesn’t have to find out. If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t show it, talking excitedly with Sunghoon about the class, mentioning things Heeseung hadn’t even heard, despite having sat through the same hour-long introduction lecture as you. He trails behind the two of you all the way to the library, where Jay is sleeping with his chin on his arms and Jake is staring at the table of contents in his textbook. You cut yourself off, jogging over to the table they’re sitting at to wake Jay. As soon as you wrap your arms around him, he flinches, waking up with his brows pulled together.
“What are you doing?” Jay mumbles, trying to shake you off.
As Heeseung sits beside Jake, he skims over the front page of the textbook, trying to remember what tensile strength means. Sunghoon stands at the end of the table looking at his phone, and you sit next to Jay, pulling your seat a little closer and letting him rest his head on your shoulder. Heeseung looks away, trying to bury the unease building in his stomach.
Sunghoon breaks the silence. “Can we go get food?” And suddenly, you all stand up, filing out of the library towards the Tesco Express down the road.
Jay and Sunghoon take the lead, picking up their lunch without much thought before waiting in line at the self-checkout, while you, Jake, and Heeseung spend an ungodly amount of time weighing up options in front of the meal deals. Heeseung gets the same thing every time but looks at every single sandwich, drink, and snack option just in case before picking up his food.
“Just cheese is crazy, bro,” Jake says, shaking his head. “What’s wrong with you?”
Heeseung shrugs. “It’s reliable.”
“It’s absurd.”
You hum between the two of them, tilting your head thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I think it’s cute.” Your shoulders rise and fall in a casual shrug, almost as if you haven’t just paid Heeseung a compliment for the first time in a year and three months.
Jake’s eyebrows raise, a grin playing on his lips as he glances between the two of you when you step forward, pulling a just cheese sandwich from the shelf too. “Cute,” he repeats. “Sure.”
Outside, Jay and Sunghoon are sitting on a half-finished brick wall, and while normally, Heeseung would say something to interrupt Jay’s never-ending lecture series on making the most of your meal deal, he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself or the small smile he’s struggling to keep off his face.
“Hoon, think about it,” he says, resting his giant can of Red Bull on the stepped brick next to him. “A meal deal costs £3. You get a sandwich, a drink, and a snack, all for £3. You, foolishly, bought a sandwich, a snack, and a bottle of water, you gave them money.”
“Yeah, man, anyone who shops anywhere gives money, that’s, like, an entry-level requirement.”
“But I’m taking money from Tesco, you get it?”
Jake sighs, taking a seat next to Sunghoon. “You’re technically right, but you still paid for your food under a promotion Tesco created. If you really wanted to take from Tesco, you should be stealing your lunch. Also, the sandwich he got was £2.85, and there’s more water in his bottle than Red Bull in your can, so I actually think Hoon got the better offer today.”
Beside Heeseung, you roll your eyes, wrestling with a packet of crisps while juggling everything in your hands. Seeing your struggle, he reaches over, taking hold of your drink and sandwich. “Thanks,” you mumble, smiling. You glance towards Jay and Sunghoon, then back at Heeseung. “Are they always like this?”
He nods with a slight frown. A tiny laugh comes through your nose as you nod too.
During the walk back to campus, as you split your sandwich with Sunghoon, Heeseung has an unsettling realisation. If he wants to get you back, he’ll have to start out being your friend. He’s not too sure what that will look like, seeing as the two of you were friends for six weeks — that he spent hopelessly in love with you — before he asked you out. All he knows is he wants to be the one you share your lunch and link arms with unthinkingly. While he assumes that your shared friend group and three out of four classes will naturally lead to friendship, things might go better if he makes an effort.
He doesn’t.
Not today at least. The second and last class of the day ends much like the first, with a heading in his notebook, and slowly reviving butterflies in his stomach every time your knee bumps into his under the desk. Again, neither of you says much as you leave the class to go meet Jay in the library. He’s awake this time, grinning at the girl across from him.
“They’re so cute!”
“They’re talking.”
“Yeah, in a cute way. Look at the smile on his face,” you say as if anyone could miss Jay’s grin or the way it widens when he notices you and Heeseung staring.
Yunjin immediately looks over, waving before getting out of her seat to come over. She greets Heeseung with a hug before flinging her arms around you, gushing about how it’s been so long. Heeseung feels his brow raise when you giggle and say, “We hung out two weeks ago.”
She loosens her hold on you, looking down into your eyes with a shocked look. “Yeah, two weeks too many. What are you doing later?”
It feels like Heeseung skipped a chapter and his stomach hurts when he realises he has—a whole year's worth of the contents of your life. Of course, Jay already introduced Yunjin to you, of course, you’re already friends.
Leaving you with Yunjin in the library, Heeseung and Jay walk back to their flat. They take the long route home, through the winding bike path and over the creaky footbridge by Sunghoon’s old apartment. Jay is eerily quiet, only responding in nods and hums—this silence means one of two things, he’s either too exhausted to speak or he’s saving his words to reprimand Heeseung at home.
Outside their flat, Jay hesitates, gripping the handle tightly before turning to Heeseung. In his eyes is a familiar look, the one he typically wears before telling someone off and Heeseung bites his tongue lest he pisses Jay off even more. A few times, Jay opens his mouth but doesn’t speak, exhaling a deep sigh as he rests his head against the door. “I want you to know I’m on your side, sort of,” he says. “If it’s too hard being around YN, we can always hang out together instead, just us.”
Jay’s key clicks in the lock and Heeseung watches, shocked. He didn’t expect that at all.
“It’s not like it’s hard, just weird, you know?” Heeseung runs a hand through his hair, leaving his shoes by the door while Jay locks it before following him into the living room and sinking into the couch. “We have the same friends, so I can’t avoid her, but I don’t think I want to.”
“Like I said, we can just hang out on our own if we’re on campus.” Jay pauses for a beat, clearly pleased by whatever he’s thinking about as a smile spreads on his face. “It might do you some good being around her though, like, to see why none of us want to date her.”
The offer is generous and Heeseung spends a while considering it. But as Jay said, it probably would be a good thing to hang out with you if he wants to build the friendship he finds himself craving.
“It might also do you some good to, you know.. start looking nice again. It’s been a year, dude, and she’s back now, don’t you want her seeing what she’s missing out on?”
Heeseung cocks his head to the side, surprised and honestly a little offended. “Are you saying I’m ugly now?”
“No, I’m saying it probably wouldn’t hurt to put some essence in your hair, touch up your roots, and, you know, use deodorant.”
Reflexively, he grabs the pit of his hoodie, bringing it to his nose and sniffing furiously. The only thing he can smell is fresh detergent and he looks at Jay with a frown. “So you think I should change everything about myself basically.”
“I hate to be the one to say it..” Jay trails off, head falling back in contagious laughter. “Seriously though, if you want her back or, at least, want her to miss you, start putting some effort in.”
Heeseung’s eyes are wide as saucers. “She doesn’t miss me?”
“You spent the whole day together, why would she miss you?”
“So she doesn’t.”
“I didn’t say that.” Jay shrugs.
Outside, a cloud moves away from the sun, letting it shine right through the window and into Heeseung’s eyes. He squints a little, groaning before bringing his arm over his face to shield himself. Jay laughs and Heeseung flips him off. “You didn’t really say anything.”
“Are you crying?” Jay coos.
“Sure.”
“Too bad, I’m taking a nap. Club later?”
Heeseung grunts in response, considering taking a nap too.
A dramatic sigh tugs its way from Jay’s chest. “Look, it’s not my place to say, but she told me a few months ago she was miserable in first year, something about wanting to see some guy she dated in high school.”
“You knew she was coming back?” Heeseung practically jumps in his seat, sitting up straighter. “You knew I’d see her today and you let me leave the house looking like this?” It’s not like he looks bad in his oversized black hoodie and sweatpants but he might have taken the time to do more than run a hand through his hair this morning if he knew.
Jay holds his hands up defensively. “You said you didn’t want to hear anything about her unless she died. I was just doing what you told me to.”
“I think it goes without saying that that would’ve been a nice thing to know.”
“Noted.” Jay nods. “Club later?”
Despite saying no, Heeseung finds himself at the club anyway, having a friendly dance battle with Jay while you hype them up, filming blurry videos with your finger over the camera lens. Jake and Sunghoon came out too but went off to find girls.
Heeseung spent all of pres and the journey to the club worrying about being drunk around you. Or rather, worrying about being drunk around drunk you. Drunk you who typically gets clingy and oversentimental just looking at a bottle of vodka, or brings up old memories and uses pouty, gloss-coated lips to say things without thinking of the consequences. For better or for worse, you haven’t done any of that yet.
Between knocking back drinks and rivalling the club photographer, you find time to make a look of disgust every time a guy comes near you, immediately shaking your head and pressing yourself against Heeseung before mumbling an apology in his ear each time, even though he tells you it’s okay. Your admirers start to dwindle when he dances with you to a song you like, letting you hold his hand and pull him closer, all while wishing he’d stayed asleep on the couch.
It’s only when the fifth guy shows up with a stupid smirk on his face, that Heeseung speaks up. His arm finds your waist and he holds you close as he looks at the stranger. “Dude, leave her alone,” he says, angling his shoulder to him in an attempt to shield you. “She’s not interested.” The weight of his words is lost on him until the guy rolls his eyes, shrugging and mumbling whatever as he leaves.
He saw how uncomfortable you looked after being approached and hated how long it took for you to start enjoying yourself again, so in the moment, it seemed like the right thing to do. To look after you. But now, as he stands with his hand on your waist, his skin touching yours at the hem of your shirt, he’s starting to feel like he’s crossed a line. It’s the worst possible time to freeze in place but there’s nothing he can do about it, and Jay staring at him, with wide eyes and a dropped jaw, isn’t exactly helping.
With embarrassment burning his cheeks and neck, Heeseung finally looks down at you. You look almost as shocked as Jay for a split second before letting your hand rest on his chest, smiling. The moment feels endless until you lean up to his ear and Heeseung has to bend down a bit. “Thank you, Hee,” you say, still smiling when you pull back.
All he can do is nod, smiling too.
Over your head, he sees Jay grinning and the heat returns to his cheeks. As if suddenly aware of your position — your hands now resting on his shoulders, chests held together by your grip on each other — the smile falls from your face as you take a huge step back, bumping into Jay while Heeseung’s hand slips from your body.
“Let’s get more drinks!” you yell to Jay, slinging an arm over his shoulders to pull him away.
On his own, Heeseung dances to three whole songs, only stopping when Yoo Jimin wraps her arm around him, holding him in the world’s tightest hug. “Lee Heeseung, did I just see you all over a girl?” The interaction takes him by surprise, seeing as he hasn’t actually spoken to her since before summer. “Let’s go for drinks soon, to say congrats on finally moving on!”
This, of course, is when you and Jay finally return. Jimin notices before he does. “Be good to him,” she yells, smiling, and never letting go of Heeseung. “Bad breakup!”
You stand there, holding two drinks so tightly your hands start shaking, causing one to spill over your fingers. A strained smile spreads over your lips as you nod. “Right! I’ll try!”
As quickly as she appears, Jimin vanishes with a smile on her face, pleased with herself. You visibly relax, handing Heeseung his drink and swaying to the music again. Just like at high school parties, you let Jay sling his arm over your shoulders as you dance together. Back then, you’d dance with all of your friends while waiting for Heeseung to return, usually with a cup of water for you to drink, but tonight, with Heeseung standing there, it seems like he’s as good as dead according to you.
It’s around 2 a.m. when you and Jay decide you’ve had enough, with Jay struggling to keep his eyes open. After failing to locate Sunghoon and easily finding Jake with his cap on backwards and makeup all over his mouth and cheeks, the three of you let him know you’re going home.
As seems to be the unspoken rule amongst your friends, Jay walks between the two of you while trying to convince you both that if you had fun tonight, there’s no reason to regret having gone out. Even if it means you’ll be sitting in class holding your eyes open. Heeseung ignores him, conspiring out loud about Sunghoon’s whereabouts—getting lost on his way to the restroom or finding an ice rink out back.
For a while, you entertain him before sighing. “I saw in the chat, he said he’s out talking to a girl he saw wearing a band shirt—Nirvana.”
The notion is so surprising that Heeseung almost stops in his tracks. Jay voices his shock with a raised brow and an incredulous tone. “Hoon listens to Nirvana?”
“No, but she’s pretty. I had to send him a screenshot of their popular songs on Spotify when one of her friends came over looking for a lighter.”
At Jay’s request, you and Heeseung spend the rest of the walk back to your flat trying to name fifteen Nirvana songs. By the time you reach the lift in your building, you’ve successfully listed nine and the three of you stand inside while you look for your keys. On your doorstep, you pull Jay into a tight hug, whispering something in his ear that makes him laugh as he pats you on the back and says, “You probably could.”
Pathetically, Heeseung hopes you’ll hug him too. With no hesitation, you do, arms locking around his neck, leaving him with flushed cheeks and a racing heart. “Thanks for looking out for me,” you whisper, lingering by his ear before burying your face in the base of his neck.
Heeseung holds his breath, counting to twelve before you lean away from him, your arms in place as you look up into his eyes. “I’m always going to look out for you,” he manages to say. He can already hear Jay teasing him about it when they’re alone, but the smile on your face is worth it.
In your doorway, you wave goodbye and they wait outside until they hear your lock clicking before heading home, where Jay doesn’t tease Heeseung at all.
Turns out, getting home at 3 a.m. when he has a class at 10 o’clock doesn’t fit in amongst any of his better ideas, but still, he gets out of bed and gets ready, heeding Jay’s advice and scheduling a hair appointment on his way to class.
As soon as he sits down, he gets a text from Jay: thinking of getting smth pierced later, come with?
Heeseung: what is smth.
Jay: cartilage probs
Heeseung: im getting my roots done at 5
Jay: okayyyyyyy good shit man !!! tmrw?
Heeseung: 👍👍👍
It shouldn’t surprise Heeseung that you look good, but the sight of you walking through the door in your zip-up hoodie and jeans almost knocks the wind out of him. You’re holding your notebook to your chest, stopping in the middle of the stairs and sighing when the white strap of your tote bag slips from your shoulder to the crook of your elbow. You apologise to the people behind you before rushing up the stairs to Heeseung’s row, putting your things down and slumping into the seat beside him. The room suddenly feels warmer when you take off your hoodie and next to you and your bare arms, his heart starts to race.
“Do you have, like, an interview or something?” you ask, doodling in the margin of your notebook, filling the space with pretty butterflies that make his heart race.
Heeseung, who hasn’t looked for a job in two years, panics. “No?”
“Oh.” You nod slowly, looking away from him. “A date? Maybe?” There’s something in your voice that makes him want to say yes and see your reaction, but the look on your face makes his stomach turn.
“No, ne—just no.”
“You can tell me if you’re going on a date.”
“Why would I go on a date?”
You shrug, gesturing to his outfit. Heeseung looks down at himself and the cream-coloured cardigan he’s wearing. “You just look nice, that’s all,” you mumble after a while. Suddenly, Jay’s Prada loafers squeezing his toes doesn’t seem so bad and Heeseung sits through the whole lecture with a smile on his face.
The leaves yellowed on October first, and unfortunately for Heeseung, the last two weeks didn’t play out how he hoped they would. Of course, he knew that you flinging your arms around him and confessing your love was probably a far stretch. But this is torture. You only talk to him when the rest of the boys are around, and even then, you only say things like, what time does class start? and do you have a pen I can borrow?
His nice outfits don’t let up, but his hair is so long these days that you don’t take any notice of the throbbing hole through his cartilage that Jay somehow convinced him to get. Or so Heeseung tells himself because his ears stick out as far as his shoulders.
Today marks the first time he’s sat in the library during the day for more than ten minutes, and it’s surprisingly busy. Most of his library trips take place in the early hours of the morning, playing his way through the Papa’s Gameria franchise on the computer next to Jake, who spends several minutes at a time staring at his fancy engineering software before clicking the mouse and staring again. So seeing the steady flow of students come in and out, setting up camp at their tables with headphones and thick binders, while groups of friends whisper amongst themselves, leaning back in their seats and gasping every now and then feels like a culture shock.
There’s about an hour until your class finishes, and he’s been sitting here for two hours already since his Music and Identity class ended, wondering if he’s making a mistake by waiting for you. Especially because he knows you’re not expecting him to. He’s at a table right by the library’s entrance, so you’ll see him on the way out and it can feel like a chance encounter. Uncharacteristically, he’s used this time quite wisely, deciding to go through the reading he was given on the role music plays in maintaining cultural identity among diaspora communities and making notes in the margins of his handout until your class is done.
Impatience starts to settle in after thirty minutes so he texts you to see to ask if your class is over yet. Immediately, your response lights up his screen: yeah about an hour ago but i stayed home lmao what’s up :)
Staring down at the message, he sighs, thumbs hovering over the keyboard as he tries to come up with something to say. This goes on for a while until he realises what he’s doing and his heart clenches. How did you go from spending every waking moment texting each other to clutching at straws for a valid reason to talk?
At the very least, the smiley face you sent is doing wonders for his declining mood.
Heeseung settles on, “i just left office hours and wanted to know if anyone was still around haha,” before hiding his face with his hands.
oh nooooooo :( sorry dude, you reply. how’d it go?
In the six years he spent by your side, he’s never known you to use the word dude—at least not with him. By the looks of things, it seems like your time away was spent studying Jake’s texting patterns or a secret other thing that makes his head hurt when he thinks about it.
Sighing, Heeseung types back: good! had a couple questions after sem but it went well!
You react to the message with a heart but don’t reply. He doesn’t have enough time to think about what that might mean because Mark approaches the table, clutching the straps of his backpack with a grin on his face that makes Heeseung feel at ease, like a wide-eyed first year riddled with anxious excitement.
“You look good, man. You going somewhere nice later?” Mark asks, dapping him up.
Heeseung shakes his head. “Just home.”
“Nice.” Mark nods, gasping after a beat. “Did you hear? I made captain!”
“That’s major, dude, congrats! I knew you would.” If anyone deserves to be team captain, it’s Mark Lee. He was captain of the basketball team in high school and vetoed his spot to Heeseung when he graduated. Two years later, when Heeseung came to college, Mark had been enthusiastic about him joining the team too.
“I’ve been thinking that my first official act as captain should be getting you back on the team?” Mark’s voice tips up at the end, his brows raising hopefully.
The last time Heeseung was on the home court, he cried with the ball in his hands because he overheard someone in the crowd saying they didn’t think he could make the shot—they were right. He laughs, shaking his head. “Way too much pressure in uni basketball. Thanks for thinking of me, though.”
“I’m not giving up on you,” Mark says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Oh, I hear your birthday’s coming up, can I host?”
“Host what?”
Mark’s hands clap soundlessly as he laughs. “A party, obviously! Twenty’s a big one! I’ll text you the deets, alright?” he asks, though it doesn’t sound like Heeseung has a choice because Mark’s already walking away, still laughing to himself.
In Heeseung’s eyes, there’s nothing better than knocking back (more than) a few bottles of soju with friends and singing your heart out in the four walls of a karaoke room. Worried about killing the mood, he enjoys from a distance, staying glued to the booth, ad-libbing for the boys and polishing off their drinks as discreetly as he can. The table is adorned with a collection of empty bottles and buckets of feasted-upon fried chicken that still envelop the room in a mouth-watering aroma, while a green strobe light pierces the air as Jake and Sunghoon wrap up their cover of Party Rock Anthem.
By the time Jay manages to convince Heeseung to sing something, he’s four bottles in and searching for the most heart-wrenching ballad he can find. Sofa by Crush has always been his favourite karaoke song. Even when it first came out and he was in a happy relationship; even at home, alone in the kitchen, using a broom handle as a makeshift microphone, singing until his voice went hoarse and tears stained his shirt.
It feels like fate when the song’s title flashes across the screen in big bold letters and he knows there’s no real way to ignore destiny, so he chooses it and stands up from his seat. Weighed down by alcohol and an aching heart, he stumbles to the front of the room to stand with his back to his friends. Clutching the mic until his knuckles turn white, he takes a deep breath, letting the intro wash over him before singing. He gets through the first half of the song before practically caving in on himself, too moved by the lyrics to stay on two feet. To Heeseung’s credit, he’s always had a beautiful voice, so he’s not exactly tanking in that respect, but if he was even a tiny bit more cognisant, he’d scrape himself up from his knees and finish the rest of the song in the same light-hearted way everyone else had.
The lights shift through red and blue, casting a pretty glow over the dim space and streaking purples and pinks all over the walls—aesthetically, the room is as moody as Heeseung feels. If he had eyes on the back of his head (or picked himself and his dignity from the floor) he might notice the way everyone else in the room is struck by his sadness, with all three boys sitting in solemn silence as a drunk Jay records the whole thing.
Tired of watching his friend fall apart, Sunghoon gets up from his seat, muttering dick at Jay for filming before taking the phone from his hands and cutting off the recording. He lifts Heeseung at the armpits like a baby and takes the mic. Clearing his throat, Sunghoon half-heartedly finishes the rest of the song while Heeseung cries into his shoulder. Their duet scores them 63 points and Jay spends the next few minutes texting. Heeseung appreciates Sunghoon’s efforts, crying more as his emotions oscillate from love for his friend to yearning for you, all while Jake attempts to lift the mood with a genuinely moving performance of Highway to Hell. From the way he’s air-drumming and bouncing his leg to the song, anyone could tell that Sunghoon is desperate to join in, but holding back for Heeseung’s sake. With a hiccup, Heeseung wipes his tears with his sleeve and throws himself out to the front, accompanying Jake with an air guitar. It’s only during the start of the second verse that Jay and Sunghoon join in, and a full-fledged rock band moment falls upon them as if gifted from heaven.
After another hour of singing and drinking, Heeseung and Jay race up their apartment building’s stairs. Panting heavily, with his heart beating in his throat, Heeseung’s knees ache when he reaches the top — though caught up in catching his breath and the sight of you sleeping against the doorframe — he can’t even celebrate his win.
“Huh,” Jay says when he joins him. “How’d she get here?”
Heeseung can only shrug in response.
Suddenly self-conscious in your presence, he stands up straighter, pushing some of his hair off his forehead. Jay moves from behind him, approaching you, but Heeseung’s too hung up on the way you hold your jacket tight around your body to do the same. He wants to though—wants to help you out, pick you up and hold you in his arms, kiss your forehead and lovingly scold you for staying out in the cold. But he’s not drunk enough to convince himself you’ll take that well.
Instead, he remains glued to the spot, watching Jay wake you up, only mobilising when you’re on your feet, stretching your arms above your head. To you, the sliver of skin peeking out where your shirt ends and your jeans begin is a fleeting detail, lost entirely under a veil of just-risen drowsiness. Yet, to Heeseung, it’s everything. It’s enough to make him want to beg you for a second chance right then and there. But he’s not drunk enough to convince himself you’ll take that well either.
You’re talking with Jay and there’s a crease in your brow when Heeseung reaches you. Your voices were too quiet to make sense of with the distance but now he hears you loud and clear. “You told me almost two hours ago that you guys were leaving soon,” you sigh, rubbing your neck.
Jay snorts, missing the keyhole a few times before catching it. “Should’ve just joined in, stupid.”
“It was boy’s night and you made it very clear that I don’t count. And when I asked what bar you guys were at, you just said doesn’t matter, leaving in ten, and, by the way, none of it was spelt correctly. It felt like you were using code.”
“Caesar Cipher, perhaps?”
“Pig Latin, more like,” you scoff, leaning against the wall.
A mischievous grin spreads over Jay’s lips and Heeseung already hates whatever he’s about to say. “Ixnay on the Eeseunghay.” Yeah, Heeseung hates it. He glances between the two of you, picking up on the smile you can’t hide as you roll your eyes.
Your gaze finds Heeseung’s and your lips curl into a frown as you look back at Jay. “Otgay ityay.” You nod firmly.
From context — and memories of numerous private conversations the two of you used to have in his presence — he figures it’s Pig Latin, a linguistic puzzle more intricate than any the English language has ever thrown at him.
After a beat, you nod towards the open door. “Get inside.”
You follow the boys in and lock the door when Jay hands you his keys. He quickly heads to his room, leaving Heeseung shifting his weight from one foot to the other in the living room, staring at you. Save for Jay’s bedroom, all of the lights are off. The only light shines through the open blinds, a vivid orange beam coming from a streetlight outside, casting a harsh shadow over the room. The terminator line is stark—a clear partition between Heeseung, who’s standing in the shade, and you, who stands in front of the window, backlit by the warm light. You’re glowing. Or, at least, the lighting makes it look like you are—outlining all your edges in soft orange.
Absently, he plays with the zipper on his jacket—unsure of what’s going on or why you’re here at all. It takes a while, but the words finally escape him. “What are you doing here?” Simultaneously, you ask if he’s okay.
Even in the dark, your smile warms the room. For you and Heeseung, speaking in unison like that isn’t anything new, so it’s not enough to rouse a reaction from him—nonetheless, he smiles too. Whether by way of drunk optimism or his own sudden acceptance, Heeseung’s starting to feel as though maybe just being by your side, making you smile, might be enough for him.
“Jay texted me, and I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
“What did he say?”
“That you were having a hard time.”
Heeseung nods slowly.
“Actually, he said—” You pause to check your phone. “—Jay said, worried but hyung he is m let down. I think he meant meltdown?”
“Hyung,” Heeseung repeats, tilting his head as if the word is foreign to him. A crease runs along his brow, Jay is way drunker than he let on.
“Huh,” you utter, tilting your head too. “I actually thought m let down would’ve gotten a bigger reaction out of you.”
A moment passes, and then another before Heeseung says, “You can sit if you want. I don’t know if you’re going to stay long or anything, but you can always sit here.”
You smile and he can hear it, watching you take your coat off before sitting on the couch. It’s a bit of a stretch from where you’re sitting but you reach over to turn on the lamp in the corner and Heeseung sits too, as far away as he can. You look comfortable, like you’re supposed to be there and the thought warms his heart.
“You didn’t have to come here. I’m happy you did but you didn’t have to,” he says after too long.
A frown tugs your lips down. “Of course, I did. I care about you, Heeseung, you know that.”
Now doesn’t seem like the time to argue, so he makes a mental note to mull over this later. “I know,” he lies, his voice nothing more than a mumble as he nods.
“Did you guys have fun?”
Deciding it best to pretend his Crush cover went well, he nods again, smiling as he thinks about the nice parts of boys’ night. With your encouragement, he talks happily for a while about their song choices and the way they all came together in the end. “I feel like we’d get on pretty well as an AC/DC tribute act.”
“Do you know what room you were in? There’s got to be a way for me to pull the security footage and see for myself.”
“I actually think Jimin works there, she might be able to hook you up.”
“Jimin?” you repeat in a different tone. The shift is so subtle that Heeseung barely picks up on it, never mind placing it or knowing what it might mean. If he were any more delusional, he might think you’re jealous, but the curiosity in your voice tells him to get out of his head.
“Yeah, this one girl in the year above,” he explains. “She transferred to humanities so we had a couple classes together last term.”
“Oh, cool.”
He really can’t work out your tone and it’s disconcerting. Maybe he should talk about Jimin some more. “She’s like mega smart, and really nice too. She was actually at the club that night! The girl I was talking to when you and Jay went to get drinks,” he says, suddenly remembering.
“Good for Jimin.”
“I think you’d like her.” He smiles. “You know, if you’re looking for friends or anything.”
You only nod, pressing your lips together and leaving Heeseung at a complete loss for words. He watches you chewing on the inside of your cheek, playing with the thread bracelet on your wrist. “I’ve always loved your voice,” you mumble, looking down.
“I know.. You used to beg me to stay up on the phone singing for you.” Heeseung presses his lips together after speaking, mentally locking them and throwing away the key.
You nod with a smile on your face that makes his stomach flutter. “You’re, like, the best guy ever.”
That makes sense. That Heeseung could be like, the best guy ever but not quite good enough to stay with. He mulls over your words and contemplates setting himself on fire. Standing up from the couch, he goes over to his room. From the doorway, he says, “You can share Jay’s bed, it’s too late to go home by yourself.”
Heeseung closes his door with plans to stay inside the whole night, but only manages an hour before he gets sick of the stale taste in his mouth. He leaves quietly, and in the light from outside, he sees you sleeping on the sofa with your hands tucked under your head. His heart sinks. Without much thought, he carries you to his room, tucks you in and runs away before doing something stupid like kissing your head to go and brush his teeth. Unlike you, he’s not afraid to wake Jay up, pushing the boy over to make room for himself on his bed, where he lays awake for hours trying to figure out what went wrong with you two until his head starts to hurt.
In the morning, Heeseung doesn’t see you before you leave, but he spends the better part of an hour with his ear pressed against Jay’s door, eavesdropping on your conversation. If you weren’t talking about him he might feel guilty about this, but you are, so..
“I just feel bad, you know? I don’t know how to fit into his life and I feel like I’m only making things harder for him by being here,” you say. “Harder for everyone.”
Heeseung grips the doorframe until his knuckles turn white. He’s spent too much time thinking about how to be your friend without actually trying to be, too caught up in his own feelings to see how he’s affecting everyone else. The corners of his lips droop at the thought.
“We’re happy to have you back, Heeseung too. He’s just.. hurting, you know? I’m not sure if you heard but he kind of got blindsided and dumped by his high school girlfriend,” Jay says.
You laugh drily and he pictures the way you roll your eyes. “Hey, uh, random Q, what do you know about Jimin?”
Jay’s quiet for a bit. Or he’s whispering. Heeseung presses his entire body to the door as if it’ll help. “Yoo Jimin?” he asks.
“Probably. Heeseung’s friend.”
“She’s cool,” he answers simply. “You’d like her.”
“So I keep hearing. What’s going on with them?”
“Nothing really. They met at some party last year, both pretty drunk, and somehow ended up in a random bedroom where she tried hooking up with him.” Jay’s words strike Heeseung like a jolt, his heart pounds and his stomach twists. It takes a lot for him and the knot in his stomach not to burst out of the room and clear things up. The main thing stopping him though, is that Jay’s telling the truth. “But he misread the whole thing and ended up detailing your entire relationship for two hours,” Jay adds after a while.
“And now?”
“Why do you care?” Jay’s tone is teasing but the question makes Heeseung spiral.
His mouth starts to dry up at the thought of you admitting that you don’t care, that you’re over him and just being nosy. Panic swells in his chest and he jumps away from the door as if it’s red hot, scrambling back under the covers of Jay’s bed and falling back asleep.
In the following two weeks, Heeseung finds himself mastering the art of avoidance. He fills his evenings with pick-up basketball games with Mark on random courts in the neighbourhood and rushes out of class before you have the chance to talk to him. Playing with Mark is fun, but he can’t ignore the regret festering within him, a persistent thorn in his side. Fortunately for him, Jay, whether knowingly or not, presents him with a potential turning point. He’s invited you and the boys over for pres before his party, instructing Heeseung to get his shit together and acknowledge your existence.
On the night before his birthday, the apartment echoes with your voice, yelling at Jake to get off the floor. Sunghoon’s cackles only get louder, filling the space. Behind his closed bedroom door, Heeseung catches a panicked glance of himself in the mirror, running a hand through his hair and adjusting his bangs. He lingers in his room as long as he can, trying to put off seeing you.
Jay opens the door without knocking, a lazy grin on his face and a slight sway in his stance that tells Heeseung he’s drunk already. “What are you doing? We’re waiting.”
“I don’t know,” he admits.
Rolling his eyes, Jay lets out a tired groan. It’s an unspoken scolding that Heeseung heeds immediately, following him into the kitchen, where Jake is messily pouring shots on the counter. He doesn’t see you anywhere, but Sunghoon distracts him, cheering and wrapping his arms around him—also drunk already. “She’s in Jay’s room, Yunjin called,” he says. “Oh, yeah, happy almost birthday, man. Twenty is crazy.”
By the looks of things, Sunghoon’s on a mission to kill Heeseung. Twenty shots for his twentieth birthday doesn’t sound like as much fun as Sunghoon thinks it does, it sounds like a punishment or a death sentence. Heeseung — put off by the smell of vodka — manages four shots before tapping out, deciding that he’d quite like to remember tonight and wake up on his birthday without a headache.
Heeseung’s eyes widen when you show up in the doorway, a confusing sense of surprise washing over him. It’s not like he didn’t know you were here; he heard you earlier. It’s just that your sudden presence catches him off guard. His heart skips a beat and a sudden rush of nerves courses through him. He takes in your appearance, his eyes tracing every inch of you before meeting your eyes. As you run your hand through your hair, you smile at him, so pretty and genuine that he can’t help grinning back.
Your dress is beautiful, of course—black satin, he thinks, with pretty pink ribbons tied into perfect bows on the top, and you’re the only girl Heeseung’s ever wanted in his life.
A whispered whoa falls from his lips, which seem to rest in an ‘o’ as he stares at you. You’re looking away from him now, focused on the tequila puddle Jake’s left on the counter, grabbing some paper towels to mop it up. Jay snorts beside him, nudging his ribs hard. “You’ll catch flies, Heeseung. Come on—decorum, please.”
Heeseung clears his throat, running a hand through his hair and wiping his palms on his pants, but he doesn’t make any moves towards you.
“Do something,” Jay mumbles.
He nods in response, repeating do something, over and over in his head until he finally approaches you. “Hey,” he says, breathless. His heart hammers in his chest when you look up at him, beaming.
“Heeseung,” you say. “Happy almost birthday. How’re you feeling?”
Before he has a chance to respond, you wrap your arms around his waist, and like it’s the most natural thing in the world, his arms fall around your shoulders, holding you close. It’s perfect. Some combination of your warm scent and alcohol causes the butterflies in his stomach to rage, fluttering so frantically he thinks he might be sick.
“Insane,” he admits.
He can hear you laughing, feeling your chuckles against his chest. “You know, what?” You lean away from him, arms still around his waist, eyes locked on his and a soft smile on your lips. “Me too.”
An odd weakness settles in his knees, a dizzying flutter alighting his entire body as he nods. Over his shoulder, Sunghoon calls for him, chanting, “More shots! More shots!” For a while, Heeseung ignores him, watching you until he feels his ears heating up at the top.
“I think I have to go,” he mumbles, eyes locked on your lips. They curl up into a crooked grin, and you use a hand to pat his chest.
“Good luck.”
Heeseung takes a deep breath when you let go of him, taking shaky steps towards his friend, who’s grinning widely enough to show his fangs. “Sorry to interrupt, I think you could use the help though,” Sunghoon says, holding out a shot glass to him.
He shakes his head at the shot, taking it from Sunghoon’s hand and placing it down on the table. “I need a minute.”
Sunghoon only shrugs, taking the drink himself, knocking it back with no visible reaction, and Heeseung thinks he must be a monster. “I really think you could fix things tonight,” he says afterwards, pouring another.
Instead of taking this in stride, Heeseung decides to pretend you don’t exist after hugging you—it’ll be easier that way. To him, this looks like staring at you in your pretty dress and snapping his neck in the opposite direction when you look over at him.
To appease Sunghoon, he takes another three shots and has to sit down, overwhelmed by the way his cheeks burn and how the kitchen starts to tilt around him. His mouth is oddly dry; a sensation that has nothing to do with you or the way you look in your dress. This time when you catch him staring, he smiles.
Even in his beyond-tipsy state, Jay manages to ensure everyone leaves the flat before requesting an Uber. Heeseung finds himself sitting cross-legged on the pavement, for some reason, scrolling through his camera roll.
“Car’s here, get up,” Jay eventually mumbles, nudging his back with the tip of his shoe.
With some stumbling, Heeseung stands up, dusts off his pants and heads to the car. Jay holds the door open for you, and as you slide across the backseat, your dress rides up. Heeseung screws his eyes shut, shaking his head to clear his thoughts, like resetting an etch-a-sketch. Jay’s hand claps his back as he instructs him to get in, which he does. Hesitantly, he slides into the middle seat, glancing to his right to see who’ll be joining you.
“You’ll thank me later!” Jay calls out, closing the door.
Before he even has a chance to shift over, your hand lands firmly on his knee, silently urging him to stay put. With a pounding heart, he complies. The back of his hand brushes against your thigh as he fastens his seatbelt, and the feeling of your soft skin against his leaves him breathless. He feels afloat when the car starts moving. A few minutes pass before you take your hand from his knee, mumbling an apology as you place it on your lap, idly playing with your fingers.
Mark lives about twenty minutes away, leaving Heeseung with something close to sixteen minutes to think of something to say. R&B from the early 2000s rumbles through the speakers in the car, vaguely explicit lyrics alluding to something he’s craving fill the space around the two of you, wrapped up in your warm vanilla scent and the fresh peppermint gum you’re chewing. To put it simply, there’s not a coherent thought in his head he could express that wouldn’t get him into trouble.
“I didn’t know you were on the basketball team,” you say after a while. “Well, I did know, but you know.”
“I don’t know,” he admits quietly because he has no idea what you’re talking about.
A beat passes before you speak again. “How was your day?”
The first thing on his mind is what falls from his lips. “You look beautiful,” Heeseung blurts out, trying to ignore the tinge of anxiety that’s irritating his stomach. “Your dress is.. It’s really pretty,” he adds, feeling as though he won’t lose anything by putting everything on the table.
“Thanks.” You smile. “You look beautiful too.”
Heeseung’s breath hitches in his throat and he looks down at his outfit in the dark. If Jay hadn’t interfered, he’d be wearing a hoodie and sweatpants right now, but he’s happy with the simple striped shirt and loose pants Jay suggested, even if it leaves him a little chilly. “It’s, uh, it’s actually my birthday party tonight,” he supplies uselessly.
You laugh, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard. “I kind of just meant in general.”
“Me too.”
The car falls silent as he lets his head fall into the space between the headrests and closes his eyes. When you reach Mark’s house, he opens them and finds you staring with a smile. “I thought you fell asleep,” you say.
He shakes his head, sliding over the backseat and opening the door. He didn’t expect you to leave from the same side as him, but he likes the heat on his cheeks as he closes the door for you. Wordlessly, the two of you go through the gate and join Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon who are sitting cross-legged on the porch, giggling around a shared joint. He has no idea how they arrived before you did.
Heeseung isn’t sure how he loses you guys but it’s not until his third round of beer pong that he actually notices. Lee Jeno and his red eyes are a poor shot, barely managing to throw the ball without hitting Heeseung’s chest or dropping it before he gets to aim. He almost feels bad for the guy when he sinks another one of his cups, watching Jeno frown before pinching his nostrils shut and taking a big gulp.
Jay’s sudden presence startles him, though he’s quick to grin at his best friend. The smile isn’t returned. Instead, he leans up to Heeseung’s ear, yelling that YN’s crying before nudging his way out of the room. His heart sinks and he offers no explanation to Jeno, following Jay upstairs and into the bathroom where he finds you, sitting on the floor, crying into Sunghoon’s shirt while Jake watches with a frown, picking at his nails.
“What happened?”
Jake talks with a hushed tone while Sunghoon helps you up before leaving. “She didn’t say anything, she just asked us to go to the bathroom with her and started crying.” He opens his mouth to continue but Jay yanks him out of the room, closing the door.
“I’m not, like, upset or anything,” you say after a while, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to ruin tonight for you so I told Jake not to say anything, but obviously, he didn’t listen.”
“Jake did the right thing telling Jay, none of us want to see you upset.”
“I’m not upset.” You hit Heeseung’s chest with a weak fist, crying more. “Why does everyone think I’m upset?”
“It might be the tears,” he offers, feeling good about making you smile.
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Are you using a new liner? Mascara? You still look good.”
You take a look in the mirror, resting your hands on the edge of the sink. “Yeah, I discovered waterproof makeup in first year.”
“Is it harder to take off?”
“Definitely, but it’s worth it, I think, for nights like this.”
“Yeah, right.” Heeseung nods, watching you carefully as he sits on the edge of the bathtub. It’s like being in high school, seeing you like this. Most of the parties you went to were spent in the bathroom, with Heeseung holding your hair back and trying to calm you down after throwing up. He misses all of it except the vomit. “Are you okay?”
Catching his gaze in the mirror, you nod but look down at your hands when he says your name. “It’s just a little harder being back than I thought it would be.”
“Oh.”
You sigh, playing with your hair as you sit down next to him. “Obviously it’s great seeing the guys all the time, seeing you all the time, but everything’s fucked and we act like strangers and it’s killing me not being able to just..” you trail off. Heeseung is clearly drunker than he feels because it looks like your eyes are stuck on his lips. After a beat you slide away from him, moving until your back hits the wall. A mixture of frustration and something else colours your face. “I just don’t like treating you like a stranger and I don’t know how to fix it.” Before he has a chance to think or to say anything you ask him for the time.
“It’s 12:23.”
“Happy birthday!” you say, smiling. “Am I the first to say it?”
“You’re always first.” Even last year, you sent a text at midnight, so Heeseung’s not sure why there’s a surprised look in your eyes or why it’s making him want to kiss you more than usual. “You don’t have to treat me like a stranger if you don’t want to,” he says carefully, trying to get you both back on track.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you.”
His voice is soft when he says, “Honestly, neither do I.”
“I wish I never left.”
“Everything happens for a reason, I guess.” Despite the small smile on his face, he’s still trying to understand what reason you had.
An exhaled laugh comes from your nose and you nudge him. “Were you secretly trying to get rid of me?”
“You caught me,” he sighs, holding out his hands in defeat. “I had this whole elaborate plan. I was going to fake my death, but you saved me the trouble. Thanks for that.”
Both of you share a genuine laugh and the tension in the air eases up a bit. Heeseung’s eyes meet yours; a brief moment of silence follows. You clear your throat. “I’m sorry for leaving. I really wish things could’ve been different.”
It can’t be your intention to hurt him by saying that, but you do, leaving Heeseung feeling the full spectrum of his emotions. A pang of hurt, of longing—hurting himself even more as he thinks about the could-have-beens. He purses his lips, looking down at his shoes. “Me too.” Sick of the tension, of his feelings, he glances at you, sitting up a little straighter. “How about we start fresh? Clean slate?”
“Clean slate?” you echo, raising an inquisitive brow.
Heeseung nods, determined, extending his hand for you to shake. “I’m Heeseung.”
“YN,” you chuckle, taking his hand in yours.
He holds onto it, a playful grin tugging at his lips. “Funny, you look just like my ex.”
Your eyes widen, amused. “Wow, Hee, you always know just what to say.”
The two of you sit quietly for a moment, but Heeseung’s just glad you’re not crying anymore. He feels lighter now, hopefully you do too. Standing up, he holds out a hand to help you get to your feet which you take, smiling up at him as you straighten out your dress.
“You know,” he says, clapping his hands together. “For a second there, I thought I’d need a manual on how to talk to you again, but I think we’re doing pretty well.”
Heeseung feels pleased with himself when you laugh, rolling your eyes and nudging his chest with your hand. “Shut up,” you say, light and playful.
“Are you ready to get back to the guys?”
You smile at him, nodding before quickly turning back to the mirror. “Do I look okay?”
It doesn’t make sense to Heeseung that a girl as beautiful as you could ever look just okay. Even with the slight swell to your glassy eyes, you’re the most perfect person he’s ever seen. But he can’t say that. So instead, he pulls a sharp breath through his teeth, tilting his head a bit and raising his hand in a horizontal gesture, his fingers wobbling as if balancing an imaginary scale. A non-committal sound escapes him, a soft eh before he laughs at the way your jaw drops.
You punch his arm. “Heeseung!”
“Come on, you know you look great,” he mumbles, looking away to hide the flush in his cheeks. The sound of your lips spreading into a smile makes his stomach flutter as he opens the door to find Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon sitting cross-legged in the hall in front of it.
“Birthday boy!” Jay yells, springing to his feet and flinging his arms around Heeseung.
“And YN!” Jake adds from his seat.
Heeseung hears you saying thanks to Jake before sitting next to him.
“So, did you two kiss and make up or what?” Jay’s attempt at whispering is futile and somehow Heeseung’s cheeks burn even more as he frees himself from his friend’s hold.
“Kiss, no. Make up, yes.”
“Playing the long game, I like it.” Jay grins, patting Heeseung on the back. “Sit down, let’s talk.”
Heeseung sits in the space next to Sunghoon, holding his legs awkwardly to his chest. He’s not entirely sure what’s happening and he feels like he’s not drunk enough anymore to fully relax into it, until you leave Jake’s side, crawling over to Heeseung and resting your head on his shoulder. In the dim hall, the boys shuffle around but it’s too dark to see what they’re doing—not that he cares much at this point, letting his head rest on top of yours and closing his eyes. It almost sounds quite pretty when they start singing Happy Birthday, and Jake has a tiny lunchbox cake in his hands when Heeseung opens his eyes. Its purple-frosted TWENT-HEE is disrupted by a half-smoked joint stuck in the centre which the flash on Sunghoon’s phone provides a makeshift flame for.
“Make a wish!” you squeal, clapping your hands.
It takes three attempts for Heeseung and Sunghoon to coordinate the timing between his exhale and Sunghoon turning the flash off, but the candle is blown out, and, right now. Heeseung has everything he’s ever wanted.
Almost.
Heeseung wakes up pressed against the wall with an arm wrapped around his waist. An embarrassing surge of excitement courses through him as he thinks about your conversation and puts his hand over yours. What he’s met with is less of the softness he’d anticipated, and more of the coarse skin and defined knuckles he’s come to recognise as Jake’s hand under the duvet. It only takes a look over his shoulder to make sense of why Heeseung’s nose is grazing his bedroom wall. Behind him is Jake, who’s being spooned by you, and behind you is Sunghoon who’s clinging onto your frame for dear life, even in his slumber. Evidently, Jay’s had a successful night and with his unwavering loyalty to Yunjin, it’s not hard to figure out what happened in the room across the hall.
With his eyes pressed shut, desperate to clutch some more sleep, he hears you mumbling. “Park Sunghoon, if you don’t wake up and let go of me, I’ll kill you,” you say with a tone that frightens Heeseung and sets off a flutter in his stomach. The yelp and thud that follow seem to wake Jake up and he crawls over you to get out of bed, stretching his arms out above his head and making no effort to step over Sunghoon on the floor. You roll over in the bed, wrapping an arm around Heeseung’s waist and pressing yourself into his side. “Happy birthday,” you say through a yawn before getting up.
He manages to mumble a thanks, butterflies running wild in his stomach and a flush creeping up his neck as he watches you leave the room, eyes stuck on the way your hips move in last night’s dress. He gets out of bed, sighing, untucking his shirt to cover the tightness in his pants before joining his friends in the kitchen.
Hungry but unmoving, you and the boys occupy the three seats at the small kitchen table, harping on about the different things as Jake whines, begging you to keep it down.
Heeseung’s first intense emotion as a sober twenty-year-old is betrayal. There are used dishes lying in the sink, plates, mugs, and pans — two of each — staring up at him, wafting the scent of a cooked breakfast, with no leftovers in sight, up to his nostrils. He sighs, wondering if it’s his responsibility as host, and eldest friend, to make more food for everyone, or if, as the birthday boy, he should sit around and wait for someone else to take action. Settling on the latter, he sights up on the countertop, sure to keep his back to you so he doesn’t have to see the low neckline of your dress.
Finally, Jay comes back, whistling an unfamiliar tune and twirling his keys on his finger when he reaches the kitchen. “Hello,” he says simply, leaning against the doorjamb as if he hadn’t single-handedly ruined Heeseung’s birthday.
Sunghoon rubs his eyes, looking in Jay’s direction. “So now, if I want a nice breakfast after a night out, do I have to fuck you?”
Jay’s cheeks flush as he looks at his feet. “I mean, I planned to cook for you guys when I got back.”
“I don’t want your sloppy seconds,” he scoffs, slumping in his chair.
“I do, Jay. Cook for me,” you say, gesturing toward Jay’s general direction making grabby hands at him.
With a gentle smile, he crosses the room and pats your head. “What are you in the mood for?”
“Anything,” you mumble into his shirt.
Jay nods, going over to the fridge. He stands in front of it with his hands on his hips, completely still for almost two minutes and Heeseung only approaches him because he’s worried about the outside heat getting on all the food through the open door.
“What are you doing?” he asks, uttering his first sentence of the morning.
Jay clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck as he leans towards Heeseung. “I, uh, finished the eggs, milk, and bacon.” A nervous look covers his face before he continues. “And we ate your Hello Kitty pancake mix,” he adds, mumbling like he doesn’t want to be heard.
Unfortunately, he is, and Heeseung’s mortified. “My Hello Kitty pancake mix?!” He takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “YN got that for me, we were supposed to make those together.” His voice is as whiny as his volume will allow, and he struggles not to stomp his feet.
“Oh, you were? How’d that work out?” Jay’s words are cutting.
“Okay, ouch.”
“Dude, it was expiring next week. Plus, Yunjin just looked so cute when she saw it—I had to.”
“What if I wanted to make them this week?”
“You’ve had the box for two years,” Jay reminds him. “Think of Yunjin.”
With a sigh, Heeseung actually does think of Yunjin. Although the girl he envisions is different from the one Jay wants him to imagine.
They met on the first day of university. She had a guitar strapped to her back, and a huge amp in hand when she approached him. Her eyes were wide with nervousness or excitement; Heeseung couldn’t tell which. Immediately, she extended her free hand for him to shake. “Yunjin,” she said.
“No.” He shook his head while pointing at himself. “Heeseung.” From the way she laughed at his stupid joke, he knew she was the next girl Jay would fall for.
Jay had a habit of falling in love with the first girl to do something nice for him on any given day. And then the next girl. But after hearing Yunjin talk about her gap year, spent learning guitar seriously, Heeseung had a feeling things were going to change for his friend. He was right.
The memory, along with the satisfaction of having figured those two out from the beginning, brings a warm smile to Heeseung’s face. “You owe me.”
“Yeah, whatever. I owe you,” Jay scoffs, though the slight furrow in his brow suggests genuine remorse. “Just so you know, they weren’t special or anything.. just pancakes, you know?”
Heeseung chuckles despite himself. “Are you trying to make me feel better?”
“Maybe a little,” Jay shrugs. To his credit, it works.
At least until Heeseung’s stomach grumbles, a noisy reminder of why they’re standing there in the first place. He also learns the hard way that the fridge starts to beep when you leave it open too long. Jay laughs through his nose, closing the door with his elbow.
“What are we eating?”
Jay seems to think about this for a minute, tilting his head and suggesting McDonald’s.
If asked, Heeseung probably wouldn’t have said he pictured spending the morning of his twentieth birthday squished between Jake and Sunghoon in a sticky booth, but he’s here and can’t find anything to complain about as he inhales his breakfast. Too caught up in the way his hoodie drapes over you, he listens half-heartedly as you all quiz Jay on his night. It seems like he’s being pretty tight-lipped about the whole thing but the dreamy grin on his face is hard to miss.
Eventually, you all pile back into Jay’s car, with Heeseung sitting shotgun as a birthday gift, that he doesn’t get to fully enjoy because he falls asleep as soon as the car starts moving. He sinks into the front seat, a contented smile playing on his lips as the warmth of the sun and his full stomach lull him into a peaceful nap.
At home, he thanks Jay before crawling into bed where he replies to messages before letting his head fall into the pillow.
His eyes don’t even close all the way before you come into the room. “Can I nap in here?”
Heeseung nods, watching you get comfortable under his duvet. In a matter of seconds, you’re just an arm’s reach away, softly snoring with your back to him. Meanwhile, he spends four hours laying completely still, trying to convince himself that the heat radiating from your sleeping form doesn’t make him miss you more.
At around 3 p.m. when everyone wakes up, you and the boys hurry away for various mumbled reasons, leaving Heeseung home alone, trying to practise his surprised face for whenever you’re all back with cake and a gift.
You don’t return until Heeseung’s hair has started to dry after his shower, but you waste no time shuffling around the kitchen before coming back with a pretty cake and real candles with a real flame, singing for him again. With the way Jake’s rushing him, Heeseung can’t come up with a wish in time, so blows out the candles with a clear mind.
“Woo!” Jake cheers, clapping around a wrapped present that he immediately thrusts into Heeseung’s hands. “Open it!”
He barely gets to peel the first piece of tape before he jumps off the couch and kneels down next to him. “It’s LEGO! The Infinity Gauntlet, you know? And the best part is..” Jake pauses dramatically. “You get to put it together with your best friend, Jake! Right now!” His excitement is endearing even though he’s ruined the surprise. “The others can help too, I guess.”
You frown at him. “I paid for the kind lady at the LEGO store to gift wrap that for us.”
“Yeah, and she did great!” Jake grins. “Can I help you open it? Please, Heeseung, please. You’re taking forever.”
With a smile, Heeseung hands the box to Jake, letting him open it carefully before Sunghoon joins in, tearing the paper to shreds all while Jay records the whole moment like a proud father. All five of you are sitting on the floor now, covered in wrapping paper while Jake holds the LEGO set up like it’s his, blinking hard at the camera with a smile on his face, and it’s Heeseung’s favourite birthday yet.
my girl: who wants to take me on a date?
Heeseung knows he should probably change your contact name but the notification still makes his cheeks burn in a way he thinks he likes.
jake: heeseung probably
jake: idk tho
my girl: ok heeseung come to the museum with me for class
sunghoon: next time open with the museum thing holy shit.. i almost fucking volunteered
heeseung: when?
my girl: i would have rejected you hoon
my girl: whenever ur free !
Heeseung’s schedule always has a way of clearing up when it comes to you, and he skips pick-up with Mark to pick you up at your door that evening. You answer right when Heeseung knocks, sliding some rings onto your fingers with a smile on your face, saying, “Hello.”
“You..” Heeseung swallows, nodding his head. He’s doing his best not to check you out but he really can’t help it when your jeans seem to fit like they were made for you. “Hi,” he whispers.
“Hey.”
He clears his throat, finally managing to unstick his gaze from your thighs and gestures in the direction of the stairs. “Shall we?”
At the train station, you don’t object when Heeseung pays for your ticket, he didn’t mean to, his finger just clicked through for two tickets instead of one. He’s happy when you don’t make a big deal about it, only smiling and thanking him when he hands you the ticket. He stands close behind you, protective, letting the peak-time commuters nudge past him instead of you as you wait in line for the only working ticket barrier. You go through first and Heeseung quietly follows, trying to keep his eyes off your ass and praying that the rest of the day goes by more comfortably than it’s started.
The train is packed too, so you stand by the doors and, again, Heeseung stands maybe a little closer than necessary, his arm above his head gripping the yellow handrail. “Why did you want to go to the museum anyway?” he asks, gulping when you look up at him.
“I’ve always liked museums.” You shrug, playing with the buttons on your cardigan.
“I know, it’s just.. You said earlier you wanted to go for one of your classes.”
“Right. It’s a requirement for one of them. Visualising Culture,” you explain, looking him in the eyes. Suddenly nervous, he doesn’t trust his voice to speak so he nods, keeping his gaze fixed on yours. “Museum and Exhibition Studies.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah.” You nod and turn your head from him, looking through the window.
Your eyes are stuck on the trees outside, blurring into each other, and his eyes are stuck on the side of your face, staring shamelessly for the rest of the journey. A tinny voice announces the name of the station you’re approaching, and you nudge Heeseung gently, a silent signal that it’s time to leave. Silence seems to follow you out of the station and into the museum, but he tells himself he doesn’t mind.
For the last hour, you’ve been looking at artwork without taking note of anything or making comments, all while Heeseung observes you, wondering what you’re supposed to be doing for class. “What’s the point of this trip?” he finally asks.
Without backing away from the painting, you turn your head to look at him, raising a brow. “What do you mean?”
“Like, what’s your task?”
You chew on your lip for a bit before looking back at the painting. He can’t help but wonder if in all your time away you’ve been flexing some sort of elitist muscle, or if it’s come about as a result of your fancy exhibition studies class that you had to take a test to be accepted into. Finally, you lean away from the painting and use your phone to take a picture of the blurb before looking at him again.
“I wanted an excuse to get someone to come to the museum with me and I wanted it to be you.”
Your words are so cute and so honest that his heart warms in his chest, even as he ignores his sadness about the fact you felt like you needed an excuse to hang out. “You could have just asked me.”
Considering his words, you frown, tilting your head at him. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It is easy, or it should be, it’s us,” he says unthinkingly. Clearing his throat, he scratches the back of his neck. “I mean, that’s, like, the whole point of having friends, right? To hang out with them?”
“Well.. yes. I just.. I don’t know.”
Somehow, this makes perfect sense to Heeseung who only nods his head, moving on from the frame when you do. It’s nice watching you admire the art, to watch the soft smile that develops as your eyes scan the canvas.
You like looking at the paintings when no one else is, to get up close and try spotting the brush strokes. You like imagining the artist and how they might have felt as they painted, and when the paint is thick, protruding from the canvas, when you can see streaks of yellow peeking through a sludgy green. You have a lot to say about the paintings and how they make you feel, and how they don’t make you feel, finding something you like in all of them.
After a while, you grab Heeseung’s hand and excitedly pull him through all the Ancient Egypt stuff, and he’s too happy that his fingers are locked with yours to worry about his aching feet anymore, and you’re so cute with your wide grin that he doesn’t have the heart to tell you he’d like to sit down. He hates you a little when the two of you take turns writing your names in hieroglyphs, and you somehow manage to maintain your neat handwriting. But you make up for it by writing his name too, drawing a pretty butterfly at the end that makes his heart race.
You start rambling about shabtis and how people were typically buried with a few, depending on their wealth and status, but Tutankhamun was buried with something like four hundred, and some of them were even painted to look like him. “Look at how pretty this one is,” you say, grinning while holding your phone in his face with a picture of one. Your excitement peaks when you reach the big sarcophagus, and you let out a squeal when you open it and three kids run out, bursting into a fit of giggles. You’re excessively cute when you ask him to take a picture of you, and then make him take a video opening the front while you're ‘dead’ inside it. Which takes a few attempts because you’re laughing each time.
You tell him to delete those takes. He doesn’t.
Right when he’s expecting you to get out, you grab him by the wrist and pull him in with you, closing the front of it before letting go of him. Heeseung is certain he’s lived this exact moment before, but he was seventeen and you were giggling like crazy, feeling around in the dark for his shoulders to wrap your arms around before kissing him. He has no idea what he’s supposed to do or what you want him to do, and the feeling of your breath fanning his neck in the tight space isn’t helping.
Silent minutes pass by like hours until a kid pulls the sarcophagus open. The light is blinding but Heeseung steps out, relieved, almost thanking the kid for saving him. You’re fiddling with your necklace and struggling to meet his eyes. When you do though, you shoot him an easy grin, laughing to yourself about nothing.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” Drinks maybe?” you ask after a while, playing with the zipper on your jacket.
Heeseung takes you to a restaurant where university students he’s only seen on Instagram walk around like they own the place. A tired-looking guy comes to take your orders before you even have a chance to take your coat off so Heeseung asks for a minute and the waiter leaves. There’s something in his demeanour though that makes it seem like you only have one full minute to make up your minds.
“What do you want to drink?” you ask, holding the drinks menu out to him.
Heeseung closes it, sitting it on the table. “Probably a beer.”
You laugh at this. “You don’t have to act all manly in front of me.” There’s a soft look in your eyes like you mean it.
“I actually like beer these days.”
Your brows raise and your jaw drops before you utter the word whoa.
“What?” he asks, suddenly self-conscious.
You shrug, collecting yourself. “You’re just.. different now.”
The very prospect of being different is shocking to Heeseung who prides himself on being pretty consistent with his behaviour. His brows knit together as he tilts his head. “Because I like beer?” he asks, scoffing slightly at the mere suggestion.
“I mean, that’s part of it.” To his dismay, this seems to be the end of your sentence. He gives you a little nod, hoping you read his mind and elaborate like he wants you to. “You bleached your hair, pierced your cartilage, what’s next? Are you going to tell me you have a tattoo?”
Heeseung feels his breath catch in his throat when you say the word tattoo but you don’t seem to notice. “It’s been a year,” he points out, folding the corner of his napkin, pressing his thumb against it with enough pressure to leave a defined fold and have it stick up a little when he lets go.
“I know, it’s just.. weird, you know?” Your voice is small when you speak, soft and quiet, barely anything above the noise around you both.
Heeseung nods. He does know.
“You’re weird too.”
“How?” There’s a defensive tone to your voice that makes him chuckle.
“You’ve always been weird.”
A dramatic frown curves your lips and the waiter is back before you can object. Leaning forward slightly, he orders for both of you, the sharing platter of fried chicken, your French Martini, and his controversial draught beer. He doesn’t miss the way you raise your brows when he orders the beer, as if you’d been waiting to catch him out or something. After the waiter leaves, Heeseung meets your gaze briefly, matching the gentle smile on your lips before looking away.
The drinks only take a few minutes and you thank the waiter before looking over at Heeseung, a mischievous glint in your eyes as you slide your cocktail over to him. “Do you want to try?”
He nods, lifting the glass and moving the straw out of the way to take a sip from the rim. Nodding his head, he hums in approval, eyes widening. “It’s good.”
You lean back in your seat, twirling the straw when he hands the drink back to you. “Yeah?” you ask, smiling triumphantly as if you made it yourself. “A normal person would’ve used the straw.”
Heeseung can’t help but roll his eyes, liking the way you laugh. “Are you acting out because I called you weird?”
“A little.”
The waiter places the platter at the centre of the table with a small smile, that you match, clearly hungrier than you’d been letting on as you lick your lips at the sight of the chicken. Heeseung’s stomach grumbles quietly as the scent hits his nose and he feels like he hasn’t eaten in days when a plate lands in front of each of you. A comfortable familiarity settles over him when he lets you pick first, and he knows you feel it too from the sweet smile you give him before eyeing the food. You take a while considering every wing, even though all of the pieces are scarily identical, before picking one and Heeseung follows, choosing with much less care than you, but enjoying it nonetheless.
Under your light-hearted scrutiny, he orders a cocktail the next time the waiter comes around. It’s much better than his beer, and so quickly, one cocktail turns into two until both you and Heeseung are four drinks in, laughing over nothing and putting in an effort not to slur your words together.
Time seems to pass at the same rate as your drinks, though neither of you seems to notice until you check the time on your phone and your mouth falls into a gasp. Heeseung does the same when you show him your screen, you only have ten minutes to make the fifteen-minute walk back to the station so you can catch the last train.
He gets up to settle the bill as quickly as humanly possible before you grab him by the hand and book it out of the restaurant. Though breathless, he knows he can’t let up, running as fast as his legs will carry him as he tugs you along behind him. Somehow you still have it in you to cackle every time either of you trips up.
Out of breath, you both slump into the first seats you find, sobering up a little after the run. He looks at you and feels his heart snag in his chest. “You okay?” he asks, huffing out a breath that pushes his bangs into the air.
“No,” you whine, pouting and resting your head on Heeseung’s shoulder. He lets his head rest on top of yours reaching his hand out to grab your own. He squeezes it gently, in a way he hopes is comforting. You lock your fingers with his before he can pull away and Heeseung’s heart starts pounding again.
He doesn’t realise you’ve fallen asleep until the train reaches your stop and you don’t react. He doesn’t want to wake you up, nor does he want to let go of your hand, but he knows he has to. Heeseung nudges you gently, rousing you from your sleep. “Let’s go,” he mumbles.
Stretching your arms above your head, you nod while yawning.
You take tired steps alongside him on the short walk back to your apartment, not saying anything until you reach your doorstep when you yawn once more, looking up at him. “I actually had fun today, thanks for hanging out with me.”
“Actually?” Heeseung raises a brow. “Did you think you wouldn’t?”
You shrug, chewing on your lip. “I thought it might be awkward.”
“It kind of was.”
“Maybe,” you admit with a nod. “It was a pretty successful first date though.” Your eyes are like saucers as your hand flies up to cover your mouth. “Not in that way. I’m only saying ‘date’ because that’s what I said in the chat—I would’ve called it a date if Hoon came with me, you know? I didn’t see this as a date if that’s what you’re thinking. Because it wasn’t. And I didn’t.”
“Mhm,” Heeseung hums with a sceptical look on his face, finding amusement in watching you scramble to correct yourself. “First dates are always awkward, baby, don’t worry.” The endearment slips out before he can help it, his heart stopping in his chest until he sees you smiling.
“Well, yeah, but this wasn’t a date, baby.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you made me pay for your train ticket, I paid for dinner and drinks. As far as first dates go, I’ve been a perfect gentleman all night.”
“That you have.” You nod once, firmly. “I’m not going to pay you back or anything. And this is hardly our first date.”
Heeseung grins despite himself. “Is this your way of saying I can bill you for our other dates? Do you have savings?”
Your head falls back in laughter, the sound infectious as it falls from your lips. You sigh softly, straightening up after a beat and nudging his shoulder with your fist. “Stop making me laugh or I’ll do something stupid like kiss you.”
His heart races in his chest, caught between your laugh and the thought that maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. “I feel like if we pulled up a typical date timeline we’d be right on track for that, don’t you think?”
“Heeseung,” you mumble, face softening. It doesn’t seem like you’re finding this funny anymore. Your gaze locks on his lips — a hyper focus that makes him press them together nervously — before snapping up to meet his eyes. You gulp. “Goodnight, thank you for today.”
“Anytime.”
“Don’t say that or I’ll take you up on it.”
Heeseung shrugs. “You say that like I’d have a problem with it.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“Never.”
A small laugh comes through your nose as you smile up at him. “I’ll see you, let me know when you get home.”
“Got it.”
Wordlessly, you open the door, crossing the threshold before saying goodnight again. Heeseung says it back, watching you shut the door and waiting for the lock to click before he leaves.
He’s never drinking with you again.
Heeseung feels like he’s settling into the role of your friend quite well. So well that he can spend time alone with you without the discomfort he felt in September. Maybe he’s taking liberties, bending the word friendship to suit him, but as you lie in his bed together, your head on his chest as you nap, he can’t bring himself to care too much. He knows he’ll get hurt by this at some point, but for now, he’s just happy to play with your hair and try his best to fall asleep too. You don’t stir when Jay opens the door, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight before him, tilting his head before closing the door quietly.
Sleep never reaches him, but he pretends to yawn, rubbing at his eyes when your alarm wakes you up, making a point to stretch his arms over his head and only respond to you in a lazy mumble when you speak. “Whose idea was it to nap between classes, again?”
“I think it was yours.”
“Damn,’ you mumble, yawning again before laying back down, head returning to his chest as if drawn by a magnet. “I think ten more minutes, fifteen, and then we wake up and go back.”
“Or we could skip?”
The suggestion makes you jolt upright, fully awake now. You let your eyes drag over his face, and maybe Heeseung’s being hopeful or straight-up imagining things, but your gaze lingers on his lips for more than a few seconds before you gulp and meet his eyes. “Lee Heeseung trying to skip class? I never thought I’d see the day.” A smile spreads over your lips, turning into a laugh as you throw your head back. “That was funny, Hee. Let’s go.’
Heeseung’s brows furrow, watching you stretch your arms out in front of you. Was it so hard to believe he would skip class if it meant spending more time with you? His lips settle into a pout. “I’m serious.”
“No, you’re scaring me. Come on, let’s go,” you say, making no attempts to get up.
To prove a point, Heeseung shifts under the covers, lying on his side with his back to you. “You go ahead, I’m staying.”
You sigh but don’t get out of bed, only lying down next to him and draping an arm over his waist. “Ten more minutes.” You press yourself against his back and he feels his heart racing. As quickly as he feels it, you stiffen behind him. “I’m not crossing a line, right? Holding you like this? It’s always been easier to sleep if you’re next to me,” you say into his shirt.
Remembering the way you would cuddle into his side during sleepovers, his heart aches, wondering if you had endured the same sleepless nights as him. Heeseung only lifts your arm to turn onto his back, pulling you onto his chest like you had been earlier. “Fifteen,” he says.
Seeing as neither of you bothered to set another alarm, you sleep through class, only waking up when it’s dark out and Jay comes back. “I bought dinner, come eat,” he says, leaving the door open on his way out.
Wordlessly, you both peel yourselves from bed, dragging your feet to the kitchen to wash your hands before joining Jay in the living room. Heeseung sits cross-legged on the floor by the coffee table while you and Jay sit on the couch. He’s not awake enough to fully register your conversation over the rustle of plastic takeout bags and his sudden overwhelming hunger, but you’re telling Jay to shut up, mumbling something and he lets out an exaggerated groan, clutching his chest when Heeseung turns around to hand over your food.
With his elbows on the table, he takes a bite from his burger and has to suppress a moan. Most of your conversation with Jay goes over his head and he doesn’t realise how much time has gone by until you’re standing at the door pulling on your shoes. Given the way Jay’s lying on the couch, Heeseung assumes he’s on walking-you-home duty and grabs a jacket before stuffing his feet into Jay’s slides.
The conversation is light as you walk together, Heeseung making sure he’s on the edge of the pavement the whole time and letting you talk about your friends. The walk has become so natural now that he only realises you’re approaching home when you take out your key to open the door to your building.
“Do you want to meet before class tomorrow? To go over the slides we missed today?” you ask, with something behind your eyes that Heeseung sleepily interprets as hope.
He nods, smiling at you and waiting for you to lock the door before he leaves.
Jay’s awake when Heeseung gets back home; he can’t say he’s surprised. Heeseung only nods at Jay, who sits on the couch, but he knows his flatmate well enough to know there’s a conversation coming because the TV is off and his laptop is shut. Heeseung makes it all the way to his door before Jay says anything. “You’re in way over your head.”
Heeseung sighs, not in the mood. “Okay. Night,” he says, opening the door.
By the time November arrives and Jake’s birthday approaches, everything is back to normal again. Turning nineteen, Jake celebrates with a modest pub crawl that spirals into a three-day bender, leaving him bedridden for nearly a week due to dehydration and fear of a test he’d forgotten to study for.
In standard Jake fashion, he manages to bounce back and sits across from Jay at his favourite restaurant only six days after his actual birthday. Considering the state he was in, it’s a wonder he can stomach the smell of alcohol, let alone down four cocktails without a pause. Jay and Sunghoon exchange sighs, each supporting one of Jake’s sleeping arms on their shoulders to carry him home.
“Cover the bill and let me know the amount. I’ll transfer you in the morning,” Jay mumbles before they leave.
You shake your head when Heeseung asks if you want to go home as well. “Unless you want to,” you say, all of your words blending together. “If you want to go home, we can. I don’t want you sitting here bored or anything.”
Heeseung smiles. “I’m not bored, we can stay as long as you like.” You seem to take this to heart, nodding and flagging down a waiter to order more drinks. “Let’s maybe slow down a little though,” he suggests.
He pours you a glass of water and makes you drink the whole thing, withholding your alcohol until you’ve finished the cold tteokbokki in front of you. Gradually, you become more coherent, wiping your face with your hands and sitting up a little straighter. You thank him when he pours soju for you and take tiny sips from the glass here and there, telling Heeseung about some of the friends you made while you were away. There’s Yizhuo—sweet, funny, and down-to-earth. And Minjeong—a quiet girl who needed a while to warm up to new people. You tell him about meeting her for the first time, how unsure she seemed when Yizhuo introduced you two, but by the end of the night, she was falling asleep next to you in bed with her arms and legs tangled around you.
“Do you miss them?” It’s a stupid question, anyone could tell from the fond smile on your face that you do.
A beat passes while you think about it before shrugging. “Not as much as I missed being here.” If he wasn’t watching you, or looking you straight in the eye, he probably would’ve missed the longing in your gaze.
He’s never known you to be subtle after a drink, and Heeseung knows he needs to nip this conversation in the bud before either of you says something you can’t take back. “How are you getting on with your research task?” he asks, while at the same time you say, “I’m so happy to be back.”
A short laugh slips out of you, a hand falling to the table before wrapping around your glass. You bring it up to your face but don’t drink, only looking down into it as if it’ll tell you what to say. “Are you happy I’m back?”
“Sure,” Heeseung says noncommittally.
You sigh, sinking into your seat a little. “I loved you. I still love you,” you mumble. “Even after all that.”
He’s not sure what to make of this, of anything you’re saying. It’s not like you had a messy breakup or anything. At least, he wouldn’t describe his long-term girlfriend breaking up with him and asking if they could be friends after as messy. Even in heartbreak, Heeseung was a reasonable person, and any reasonable person would’ve said no. Like he did.
“I still.. You’re still the one for me.”
His stomach lurches violently. “Don’t say that.” He gets out of his seat quicker than he means to and leaves you at the table, tapping his foot as he waits in line by the bar to pay the bill, praying he’s right about the two of you sitting at table ten when the cashier asks. With a folded receipt in his pocket and too much to think about, he returns to the table, only putting on his coat and mumbling, “Let’s go.”
For some reason, you don’t seem to mirror his urgency, only finishing off the drink you had left in one go and sitting for a bit longer. He takes your jacket from the back of your chair and holds it open for you, helping you into it when you finally stand up. “Thanks,” you giggle.
Heeseung says nothing.
The silence and fresh air outside are sobering as he watches an Uber driver through the app, very slowly moving from two minutes away to one before arriving. Maybe if you hadn’t said what you said at the table, he might have warmed to the idea of a forty-minute walk alone with you, but you did say those things and even the thought of this fifteen-minute car ride is unbearable when John (4.9 stars) pulls up on the curb outside. You thank Heeseung quietly when he opens the door for you, and against his better judgement, he walks over to the other side of the car and sits in the middle seat like he used to.
Slow R&B murmurs through the speakers as the driver pulls off while Heeseung hums along. His thigh is pressed against yours but he does his best not to think about it, only chewing his lip when you rest your head on his shoulder. He lets his head rest on top of yours before regretting it.
He doesn’t move.
It feels a little bit like the driver is playing Heeseung’s playlist, as every song he knows and loves seems to come on one after the other, steeping him in an odd comfort in the backseat of this car.
Your hand falls onto his knee so clumsily he’s sure it’s a mistake, so sure you’ll move it back into your lap that he’s genuinely surprised when you don’t. Unsure what to do, he chooses not to acknowledge it, acting like you sitting so close to him, like the feeling that no time has passed, doesn’t make his heart clench. Slowly but surely, your hand inches up his thigh—a motion Heeseung stops as soon as he realises, his hand falling heavily over yours and pushing it back to his knee. He thinks about keeping it there, but when he feels his thumb stroking your skin, he moves his hand immediately. You’ve obviously gotten the wrong idea. For a moment, he wonders if you’ve actually gotten the right idea. You have. But it can’t happen like this. After a few minutes, you move your hand again, and like before, Heeseung pushes it back, keeping his hand over yours and reminding himself not to move his thumb.
You’re drunk. This will pass.
Finally, the driver parks outside your building, and Heeseung’s sure his “thank you so much” holds the world’s sincerity in it as he unbuckles his seatbelt and practically leaps out of the car. He opens your door and has to undo your belt for you, helping you out and thanking the driver again.
There’s a couple leaving the building when the two of you reach the door, and with your arms wrapped around his, he thanks them when they hold it open.
The lift takes forever to come and Heeseung pushes the up button five times before it arrives. He lets the girl in fleecy pyjamas with a takeout bag in her hand go in first before following, pressing the button reading 7 before relaxing a bit. Under the protection of a stranger, he knows you won’t do anything. The journey to your floor feels like hours as the lift drags its way up the shaft—why does nothing share his urgency?
You don’t say anything until the elevator door swooshes shut behind you. “I love you, Heeseung. You know I love you.” You’re saying everything he’s been wanting you to say for ages, but the words make his words sting.
“Do you know where your keys are?” he asks, though you still have a ways to go before you reach your door.
“My pocket,” you mumble.
Heeseung finds your keys, unlocks the door and helps you in. As much as he wants to leave, he knows if he does, you won’t take your makeup off or change, so he holds your hair back for you as you brush your teeth and wash your face in the sink quietly.
In your bedroom, you search through your drawers, pulling out something to wear. He turns his back to you and ends up face-to-face with an old photo of the two of you from school.
“You can look, Hee.”
Drawn to the picture, he doesn’t reply. The boys are in it too, but it feels like you two are the focus. Everyone’s smiling at the camera except Heeseung, who — with his arm around you — stares at the side of your face with a lopsided smile. Happiness radiates from his being, lighting his eyes and face.
“I want you to look.” The softness and desperation in your voice tug his heart.
“Come on ba—” Heeseung sighs. “Just get dressed, yeah?”
You don’t say anything but he can hear the rustle of your clothes as you change.
Jealousy blooms in his chest, looking at himself three years ago. Happy and full of love for you and your friends, for life. Everything was so easy then. His chest tightens and he has to close his eyes.
Heeseung feels you next to him, hears your jewellery falling into the clay holder on your dresser and opens his eyes, looking at you. You’re in a t-shirt he’s sure belongs to Jake and struggling with the clasp on your necklace. He knows you want him to help but he feels like he can’t move.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but I really do want to be with you,” you say when you finally get the necklace off. “And I know I’m too late, but I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t want to be with you.”
You’re so close the peppermint on your breath hits him like a wave. A distinct smell of citrus and summer, of Jake, comes from your body, mixed up with the scent of you in a way that makes him uneasy.
He gets a headache trying to make sense of your words, if it wasn’t that you didn’t want to be with him, then what was it? Even back then, you didn’t elaborate, you just repeated his name and the words: it’s not your fault, over and over until they sounded made up. Heeseung can’t entertain this conversation, not now. Not when you’re drunk and looking up at him with longing in your eyes. “I think we need to get you to bed,” Heeseung mumbles, taking a step back. “I’ll get you some water.”
“But I’m here now and we can be together again.”
“You moving was never the problem. You know that wasn’t the problem.” A tear slips down your cheek and he softens immediately. “I wanted to go with you, I was going to go with you.”
You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, frowning. “This university was your dream. How could I let you give up your scholarship for me?”
“You were my dream,” he admits. “And it wasn’t your decision to make.”
“You would have made the wrong one.”
Heeseung scoffs. “Do you think breaking up was the right one?”
Your silence is brutally telling. You squeeze your eyes shut as if trying to magic yourself out of the conversation, but it only makes more tears fall. A realisation hits him like a truck: you’re thinking about it. A painful lump forms in his throat. How could you have anything to think about? How was breaking up with him, not the single worst decision you’ve ever made? He can’t believe you could have let go so easily if you loved him. Long distance wouldn’t have been easy, but surely if you loved him, you would have made it work. You would have tried. Heeseung wishes he hadn’t asked at all.
“I do,” you say finally, opening your eyes to look at him.
His heart is heavy in his chest. “Okay.”
“Heeseung.”
“What?”
A stomach-churning sob falls out of you. “I don’t know.”
Another silence weighs the room down and Heeseung knows what he needs to do. He sighs. “Let’s just.. I should go.”
You don’t put up a fight, you don’t say anything, only letting your shoulders droop before you sigh and lead Heeseung to the front door. He says goodbye as he puts his shoes on and all you do is watch as he leaves your apartment. He waits for you to close the door and lock it before walking away.
Heeseung walks all the way home and only cries when he closes his door, sliding down the back of it like something from a movie. With tears in his eyes, and his knees to his chest, he pulls out his phone to text you. I hope your hangover isn’t too bad, he types. Let’s only talk when we need to.
The two of you manage to hold this up, with you finding others to sit with during classes, and no one seeming to question Heeseung’s skipping plans or new close friendship with Mark’s group who he spends time with between classes instead. But as always, things have a funny way of going different to how Heeseung expected them to.
After three weeks of near radio silence, Jay barges into his room with his face scrunched up. “What are you doing?”
“Right now?” Heeseung asks, confused. Standing by the bed with the corner of his duvet in his hand, in nothing but his underwear, he thinks his plans look a little obvious. “I’m about to jerk off.”
Jay rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “You know what I mean.”
“Evidently, I do not.”
“Why don’t you hang out with us anymore?” he asks, squinting at Heeseung.
“We’re hanging out right now.”
“Forgive me if I don’t count an impromptu circle jerk as hanging out.”
“I don’t.. want to do that.”
Jay clutches his chest. “I’m crushed.”
Heeseung studies his expression. Serious, an inch of concern pooling in his eyes. “We dated for six years, she dumped me, I turned into a shell of myself, but she moved back home and we’re all friends again, so I think things are looking up for me.”
A deep sigh leaves Jay as he sits on the bed. “What happened at the bar with YN three weeks ago when we all left?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“What exactly counts as ordinary for you two?”
Heeseung’s still trying to figure that out. He shrugs. “Making the right decisions.”
“So you’re okay?”
“Never better.’
“You don’t have to lie to me, you know?” There’s a sincere look on Jay’s face as he leans back on his hands.
“Which is why I’m being honest.”
It doesn’t seem like Jay’s going to let this go, but to Heeseung’s surprise, he smiles. “Perfect,” he says, standing up from the bed and walking over to the mirror where he checks himself out. “Because she and the guys are going to be here in ten. Put some clothes on.”
He does just that, pulling some shorts over his hips and a shirt over his head before pulling the two bean bag chairs stacked next to the couch to sit in front of the TV, claiming one of them with his body by sinking into it. The cosy material is soft against his thighs and he wonders why they don’t use them more.
Ten minutes go by like seconds when Jay gets up to answer the door, laughing at something one of you says before leading you all into the living room. He’s watching some show Jay left on, greeting you and the boys with a wave before turning back to the TV. Behind him, the four of you laugh and talk on the couch but Heeesung’s too wrapped up in an argument on screen to join in. His attention only falters when he reaches for the open six-pack on the coffee table. It’s barely out of his reach, so he turns around to take a beer, trying to ignore the way his heart sinks in his chest seeing you and Jay cuddled up together. It’s friendly, he knows that. Jay’s with Yunjin and you’re.. He’s still not sure, but it hurts nonetheless. You’re bickering over a bowl of popcorn and he only laughs when you throw a handful at him.
The red speaker Sunghoon’s holding chimes three times when he turns it on, a Frank Ocean thudding out of it that drowns out the show he’s watching, leaving him to follow along with the subtitles instead. But he can’t focus.
Heeseung tries to settle his heartache, comforting himself with the thought of the two of you in another reality. One where it’s him instead of Jay. Or one where you come over and sit with him, curling up in his lap, pouting because Jay’s being mean. He pictures himself stroking your hair and kissing away your pout, holding you into his chest when Jake and Sunghoon start teasing you. In this reality, however, he watches you peel Jay’s shirt from his chest and dump a handful of popcorn in the gap, cackling to yourself at the clear frustration he doesn’t verbalise. Heeseung sighs, looking back at the TV and taking a sad sip of his sad beer.
After a while, you fall into the beanbag next to him, sprawling out over the whole thing and looking at him. “Hey, Heeseung.”
“Hello.”
“I’m sorry about that night.” Your voice is quiet, clearly apologetic if the way you don’t meet his eyes is anything to go by.
“Okay.” Heeseung nods and a beat passes. “I meant what I said, what I texted you.” It hurts to say but it’s for the best. He stands up out of the beanbag, making a show of stretching his arms and legs before sinking into the couch next to Jake. Over Jake’s slouched form, Jay shoots him a look, arching a brow. Heeseung only stages a chuckle, shrugging before looking at the TV again. He can’t make sense of anything on the screen.
Sunghoon emerges from Jay’s room with a grin on his face, asking when you’re going to eat. In standard fashion, the four of you stand around Jay in the kitchen, bothering him by telling him what to do like he’s a child as he puts frozen pizza and some garlic bread in the oven.
“The middle one’s the timer,” Jake says, pointing at the knobs above the oven door. “It’s there so you can set how long the food needs to cook for, and after you set it, it’ll go off so you know it’s ready.”
“But it’s all up to you and your discretion. You can open the door whenever you want to check on everything,” you coo, patting his shoulder.
If Jay’s actually annoyed, nothing about his smile gives it away as he nods with a clenched fist, closing the door and sitting next to Heeseung on the countertop. Heeseung’s almost too busy focusing on the way his beer heats his stomach to notice the way you watch him with a small frown from barely an arm’s length away. Sunghoon picks up on your declining mood and thrusts an open bottle into your hand. “We like to drink with—” He’s cut off by Jay taking the bottle and setting it behind you on the counter, mumbling cut it out, dude, and tugging you out of the kitchen by the arm when he notices the tears in your eyes.
He hears Jay’s door close and nobody says anything until the timer goes off and Jay comes back alone, filling a plate with food and going back to his room.
“Thanks for dinner,” Jake says to the back of Jay’s head, offbeat and half smiling as he washes his hands in the sink.
Sitting at the table, he watches Jake and Sunghoon eat while pretending nothing’s wrong.
At the end of the night, when everyone’s gone home, Heeseung gets into bed, barely managing to pull the duvet up when there’s a knock at his door. “Yeah?” he calls out. Jay appears with his arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he says quickly.
Jay regards him with a frown. “I didn’t even say anything.”
“You were going to.”
“Yeah.” He nods, and Heeseung prepares himself for a lecture. “I was going to say, I’m going home next week, for Christmas, so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”
The holidays go by in a soju and tteokguk-filled blur, with Heeseung choosing to stay at home until the day of his first class of the second semester so he doesn’t have to be around you. He tells himself it’s for the good of your friend group, as he watches you all make plans in the group chat through notification bubbles, so he doesn’t leave a read receipt.
The commute is more jarring than he realised. What had been a twenty-minute drive turns into an hour-long journey, including a thirty-minute walk to the train station ‘near’ house, fifteen minutes on the train into the city centre, and another fifteen minutes on foot to campus. He’s drenched in sweat despite the below-zero temperature and has to make a stop to the bathroom to sort himself out.
He arrives early at least, finding the room where his Ethnography: Theory and Practice 2 class is set to start in fifteen minutes. The only indicator that he’s in the right place is the lecturer’s name and contact information written in the top corner of a whiteboard, and Heeseung picks the seat furthest from the door. It’s an elective class and, judging by the nine empty chairs next to him, not a very popular one. He’s relieved at least that he’ll be able to start off the semester without running into anyone he knows, least of all you. As seats start filling up and the lecturer arrives, he’s feeling unusually lucky.
So, of course, you show up, running a hand through your hair as you walk through the open door, apologising for being late even though there are still two minutes until the class is scheduled to begin. Of course, the only empty seat is the one next to him, which you sit in without looking at him, making an effort to angle your body away from him. Of course, the lecturer assigns a presentation for two weeks time, pairing the class with the person they’re sitting beside. Neither you nor Heeseung say a word to each other, but you raise your hand when prompted to pick a topic to cover. He can’t help his irritation at you for making the decision without asking him, but you look so nice in your hoodie with your hair tied up that his annoyance settles before it has a chance to bloom.
“YN YLN and Heeseung Lee, we’ll do music and cultural expression,” you say, picking the topic he wanted to do anyway.
When class is over, you’re quick to get out of your seat, pulling on your jacket and stuffing your laptop back into your bag before leaving so quickly that Heeseung has to leave his stuff behind to go after you. You don’t stop walking when he calls out your name, and too scared to make a scene, he overtakes you, leaving you with no option but to stop in front of him.
“We should go to the library, get the research and shit out of the way ASAP,” he suggests.
You nod, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Yeah, okay, I’m going to get my stuff.”
You follow him back to class, watching from the door as he puts his things in his bag before putting on his jacket. You don’t say anything on the walk to the library, when you get there, or when you browse the Cultural Studies section. Heeseung glances at you and you’re chewing on your lip, crouching a bit to read the spines of the books on the lower shelves. “Are you alright?” he asks with genuine concern.
You look up at him, nodding.
“Are you sure? Because you haven’t said anything in an hour.”
This makes you straighten up, your brows furrowing in an expression he can’t figure out. “Sorry, Heeseung,” you say, your voice weak. “I’m just trying to figure out if you think I need to talk right now.”
“Obviously, a paired project is a situation where we need to talk.”
You sigh, muttering oh, my God, before you look at him. “You know what, I’m going home. Let’s do this tomorrow.”
“We have class in twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, I’ll read the slides when I get in.”
Unsure what to say, he watches you walk away, deciding that he should just go home too.
At the flat he hasn’t seen in five weeks, Heeseung feels slightly out of place, going straight to his room and into bed, not even getting up when he hears Jay coming home. Jay opens the door without knocking, his mouth falling into an excited ‘o’ shape. “Hey, stranger,” he says. “I thought you weren’t coming back, so I started advertising your room on Gumtree.”
“Any offers?”
“No one as good as you.” Heeseung doesn’t have to look at Jay to know he’s smiling. “Move over,” he mumbles, lifting the duvet.
Lazily, he rolls over in bed, making room for Jay who makes himself comfortable under the covers.
“What are you doing, Heeseung?”
“Trying to sleep.”
“Talk to me, help me understand.” Jay sighs and Heeseung’s lips curl into a frown. “You’re my best friend,” Jay says quietly, with a tenderness that strikes him.
“You’re my best friend,” Heeseung repeats like an affirmation.
“So why won’t you talk to me?”
There’s a subtle hurt in Jay’s voice that upsets Heeseung, who shifts around to lie on his back. “I don’t think there’s anything I can tell you that YN hasn’t already.”
“She only told me that she fucked up.”
Hearing it from someone else’s mouth makes it sound drastic, especially considering he’s the one who left. Again. But he’s too bitter to say that out loud so he bites his tongue. “Seems to be the theme in our relationship.” The words taste rotten when he says them.
“Just because you’re my best friend doesn’t mean you get to be a dick,” Jay says. “What happened?”
It takes some time but Heeseung explains everything, letting Jay ask questions and make comments until the end when he looks away, pressing his eyes shut and saying, “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t think I get it. Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Why can’t you just be together already?”
Everything sounds painfully simple when it’s put like that. But there’s too much between you both for it to go that way. It’s not like he didn’t want to be with you when you confessed, it’s that he didn’t know how he could without knowing why you left him in the first place. Without knowing what he did that was so terrible you couldn’t stand to be in a relationship with him, never mind the same area code.
A beat passes before Heeseung speaks. “There was something wrong, and instead of trying to fix it, she just.. gave up. I would’ve done anything she asked me to. I could’ve changed, could’ve fixed things, but she didn’t even tell me.”
“Maybe she didn’t feel like she could. I don’t think she wanted to hurt you, Heeseung.”
“But she did.”
“Yeah,” Jay admits, sympathy lacing the word.
“How can I be with her knowing there’s some awful part of me she hates?”
“It’s not like that, not really.”
“What’s it like then?”
“I’m not sure it’s my place to say.”
Heeseung laughs, shaking his head. “Do you keep my secrets as dutifully as you keep hers?”
“Are you kidding? She doesn’t even know you have secrets.” Jay sounds exhausted as he speaks, and it’s the last sound to come from him until a few minutes pass and Heeseung hears him snoring.
You didn’t reply when Heeseung texted you asking to meet in the library before class, but you show up anyway, pulling out the seat across from him and dumping your bag on the table. “I don’t know if you saw the email, but the partner work is just for the presentation.”
“Cool.” he nods, relieved.
“I think after that, I’ll start hanging out with Yunjin instead, so you’re not uncomfortable.”
Heeseung frowns, shaking his head. “I’m not uncomfortable around you,” he says. “I just don’t.. get you. You dump me and move as far away as you can. Now you’re back and what? You love me again?”
You furrow your brows, inspecting him for a moment before you speak. “I don’t love you again, Heeseung. I’ve loved you this whole time.”
“So why didn’t you choose me? I just wanted you to choose me.” He’s too anxious to know the truth to worry about how desperate he must sound. Until he notices that the guys sitting at the other end of the tables are watching him, their brows arched sharply in a mixture of shock and curiosity. Heeseung runs a hand over his face, hoping the motion might wipe away the flush burning his cheeks.
“You wanted me to choose you over my future?”
“I could’ve been your future, part of it. I’d never ask you to choose me over university, you know I wouldn’t. I’m saying you could’ve had both.”
“It wasn’t as easy as that.”
“Why not?”
“Heeseung,” you say like it’s an answer.
“Just tell me why you didn’t want me. That’s all I want to know.”
The following silence makes him consider packing up abruptly and faking an emergency. He’s sure he could probably fake his death if he slumps in his chair slowly enough.
You sigh heavily, interrupting his train of thought—now, he’s wondering if he even wants to know. “Because you would’ve put me first,” you say, avoiding his gaze. “If I stayed here or moved away, I would’ve been your top priority and I couldn’t let you throw away everything you worked for, for me.”
“I loved you, of course, you were my top priority.” He can’t believe he even has to say it, can’t believe you might have thought you weren’t the single most important thing in his life.
“Heeseung, you were sacrificing your life for me. You missed your cousin’s engagement party to help me study for a history test, you deferred your scholarship entry by a year just so we could go to college at the same time. How could I keep letting you miss out on your life?”
“Deferring my entry wasn’t just for you,” he lies. “And it’s not like I missed the wedding.”
“But I think you would’ve if I stubbed my toe.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?”
You sigh again, shaking your head. “Do you hear yourself? You can’t keep living like that, you can’t just throw everything away. You’re such a hard worker, Heeseung, and I’d hate to see you waste that over some girl.”
“But you’re you. You weren’t just ‘some girl’ you were my girl.” He doesn’t mean to say it but it’s true. “We were in high school and I was studying constantly; it didn’t matter back then. And you were so far away, it’s not like I could feasibly drop everything and go to you every time something happened.”
“Heeseung.”
“You had a choice.”
“Heeseung.”
The way you’re saying his name reminds him of your breakup—the pink walls of your childhood bedroom and the pictures of the two of you stuck up all over them, in frames on your desk, and stickers on your light switch. How they seemed to close in around him as he put all of his energy into staying on two feet, instead of falling to the floor and begging you on hands and knees to stay with him.
“Why didn’t you just tell me? I’ve spent the last year and a half wondering what I did wrong, I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me.” We could’ve tried, he wants to say. I could have changed and we could’ve tried.
“I didn’t want you to lose that. I felt really lucky that you loved me like that, and I didn’t want to rob someone else of it, you know. I thought maybe you’d find a balance with someone someday, but I didn’t think that person would be me.”
Heeseung has to put in an effort to stop his jaw from dropping. How could there ever be someone else? How could you ever think he could have someone else? There’s so much he wants to say, to ask, but he can tell by the way you press your lips together that you’re done with the conversation.
“It’s not too late.”
You tilt your head at him. “What?”
“In your room that night, you said you were too late,” he explains. “I love you.”
“Still?”
His heart shifts uncomfortably in his chest at the tone of your voice and the way your eyebrows shoot up. “Always,” he says.
A smile starts to curve your lips, but it slips before it has a chance to bloom, stifled happiness that you cover with your hands, hiding your face completely. “I don’t think we should talk about this here.” Your palms muffle the words but not their impact; you’re right and he knows it.
It’s been a year—the longest of his life, and the hard part is already over. He knows now and he’ll do anything he can to fix it. “Right.” Heeseung nods but you’re not looking at him. He’s going to fix it. For now, though, he says, “What’s our research topic again?” Despite having had Music and Cultural Expression typed into the search bar since before you arrived.
With Heeseung’s work ethic and your commitment to being the best, the presentation goes quite smoothly. You make no mistakes, and Heeseung, distracted by how pretty you look in professional attire, manages to stumble through the script he’d rehearsed. The two of you even win the first place prize — satisfaction that you got a perfect score — and celebrate with coffee afterwards.
Between the four walls of the campus café, you and Heeseung sip lattes that taste like temperature — still too hot to have a real flavour — and laugh with each other about something Jay said when you all hung out last night. Neither of you mentions your conversation from two weeks ago, deciding instead to fall into the patterns of your first term together: napping in his bed after class and coming up with excuses for alone time. He makes an effort to follow through with his commitments, even when you ask him to hang out, to show you that he’s different now. If you’ve noticed, you haven’t said anything about it, but Heeseung tells himself it’s a good thing while missing shots on the court with Mark, too hung up on you to focus on anything else. The only thing left is to figure out a way to be yours again and do everything he can to make sure he doesn’t lose you.
Over your shoulder, through the window, the sun slips below the horizon, casting long shadows around the café. He takes a deep breath when he looks at you, smiling down at your phone as you take a picture of your half-drunk latte and the milky swirls still peeking through your coffee. A tangible determination settles in his chest as evening’s first stars appear in the sky, he knows one thing for sure: he has to grab the chance to be yours again with both hands, and once it’s his, he won’t let go this time.
The café may be clearing out, but his heart is full of hope and for the time being, sitting with you as a friend is.. fine.
You’d often imagined what it would be like if you hadn’t broken up with Lee Heeseung.
Most of your first year was spent daydreaming about him in all of your usual hangouts. Sometimes, at drinks with your friends, you envisioned him showing up, a smile on his face as he apologised for being late. He’d slide into the booth next to you, wrap his arm around your shoulders and kiss your cheek. Other times you imagined him showing up to surprise you, sitting on a bench in the quad and grinning when he saw you leaving. He’d run up to you with open arms and a bouquet in his hand, wrapping you in a hug and whispering that he missed you too much to wait another day to see you. You would even fall asleep thinking about FaceTime calls that stayed on overnight or drunken texts after the club, misspelt I love yous and can’t wait to see yous filling your text thread.
You didn’t tell your new friends much about him, briefly mentioning a partner you’d watched some film with or an artist he liked if they came up, and most nights were spent begging Jay to send you Heeseung’s social media posts and tell you every detail of the day they had without you. Based on accounts from Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon, it seemed like he was getting on well, a fact that — while hurtful — pushed you to try and do the same. After a month of avoiding your flatmates, you finally managed to connect with them, going to various social events around campus and rolling your eyes any time a drunk guy complimented you.
This is why it took you by surprise to see him at Mark Lee’s party in the summer—sitting alone in the garden, in sweatpants and a flannel, looking at his phone with a deep frown etched over his lips. When you think about it, it feels like so long has passed since then and it’s hard to believe it wasn’t even a year ago.
Being back in Heeseung’s life has been more challenging than you thought it would be when you filled out your transfer application. Especially in the weeks since you finished your presentation together, since you suggested the library might not have been the right place for the conversation you were having and never followed up on.
Now doesn’t seem like the right time either—you’re sitting on the floor in Jake and Sunghoon’s living room with your back against the couch, sharing a blanket with Heeseung. Jay left about an hour ago to go to Yunjin’s, leaving the four of you to your own devices. You know you can’t bring it up with Jake and Sunghoon around, but you’ve had plenty of opportunities to over the last month.
When you finished your celebratory lattes, Heeseung walked you home. The sky was a perfect inky black, and it was cold enough to see your breath, just the way he liked, so cold he offered you his jacket to wear. He didn’t say anything about it, only shrugging it off and setting it gently over your shoulders, shocking you so much that you stopped walking. The scent of his cologne, dark and woody, was overwhelming as you slid your arms into the sleeves, zipping it up and after three paces without you, Heeseung turned his head with wide eyes. You could have said it then, you wanted to say it then, but you bit your tongue and thanked him instead. He smiled, gulping when you closed the gap, you should have kissed him, he was close enough, his lips just a tip-toe and tilted head away, but you hugged him instead.
After that, the two of you had all the time in the world together. Between your shared classes and going for meals alone. All the time you’d spend in his living room together, cosy on the couch when Jay would go to sleep. So many moments to talk, to get back together, but the words would die in your throat every time you thought them. It all seemed too cheesy or not cheesy enough, too dramatic or too casual, you couldn’t strike a balance and had no idea how to even find one.
Last night was probably the most jarring occasion. Yunjin and Chaewon had been trying to convince you to go the club all week but you just weren’t in the mood. They seemed happy enough when you suggested hosting pres—but now you think they’d been hoping you’d be so drunk you’d just agree to go out. Yunjin brought half a litre of vodka and Chaewon brought a soup flask with enough murky cocktail in it to feed a small family. Together, the three of you drank and gossiped around the small table in your living room, with Chaewon’s phone in a glass to amplify her playlist. After taking a whiff of whatever she brought, you and Yunjin decided — for everyone’s wellbeing — to hide her flask and take shots of vodka, finishing off the cider you had left in the fridge.
“Please come out,” Yunjin begged. “I’ll feel bad leaving you here, all pretty and drunk by yourself.”
“I’ll feel bad too!” Chaewon added, clasping her hands. “Not bad enough to stay with you, but I’ll probably have less fun.”
You shook your head. “I don’t even have an outfit.” The words were like music to their ears and you regretted them as soon as you said them. Both girls grabbed you by the hand, tugging you to your room and flinging open your wardrobe. Yunjin looked for a top and Chaewon for a skirt, though both of them gasped when they saw the dress you wore for Heeseung’s birthday. Chaewon pulled it from the rack, holding it out in front of her.
“We won’t pay for anything if you wear this,” she squealed before she and Yunjin started chanting: Free booze! Free booze!
You sighed, thinking of Heeseung and shook your head again. That dress, though beautiful, hadn’t been enough for him to lose all composure and skip the party in favour of fucking you into the mattress, and you didn’t love the idea of guys that weren’t him ogling you all night. “Anything but that dress.”
Yunjin and Chaewon seemed sad, but you were able to distract them by bringing out the disaster cocktail the oldest girl brewed earlier, pouring each of them half a glass and ordering an Uber to come and take them away. You promised them you’d go out next time, locking your pinkies with theirs and closing the door behind them.
Alone in your room, with nothing but thoughts of Heeseung to keep you company, you called him. He answered right away. You can’t remember exactly what you said but you remember the soft sigh he let out when you said it. You could practically see him tilting his head, weighing his options.
“I’m trying to get a paper finished, it’s due Monday,” he said finally.
“But it’s Thursday.”
“Yeah, and I want to have my weekend free. If you’re still up when I’m done, I’ll come over, okay?”
You nodded. “Okay.”
Heeseung hung up after that and you got out of bed to clean up, hoping the time would fly. It didn’t, but your flat was clean again so you pretended not to mind.
He called you after midnight. “Do you still want me to come over?” he asked, breathless.
“Please.” There was a knock on your door after you spoke and you mumbled hold on before going to check it. Warped by the peephole, you saw Heeseung standing there, holding his phone to his ear and playing with the zipper on his jacket. He hugged you when you opened the door, asking if you were okay. “Perfect,” you said, looking into his eyes.
His pretty face scrunched up and he pinched his nostrils shut with his fingers, turning his head. “Well, you smell like a distillery.”
Heeseung stood in the doorway of the bathroom while you brushed your teeth, grinning every time his eyes met yours in the mirror. Tell him now, you thought. You have to tell him now. Those thoughts nagged you as you gargled mouthwash, plagued you when you hugged him again and tortured you when he carried you to bed.
He stiffened when kissed his jaw. “You can’t do that,” he mumbled, setting you down under the duvet. “Not now.”
Then when? you wanted to say. “I’m sorry,” you said.
Heeseung sighed, shaking his head. “No, it’s just.. It’s okay.”
Neither of you spoke after that, you made room for him on the bed and he lay down next to you, let you rest your head on his chest and played with your hair until you fell asleep. He was gone when you woke up in the morning but he left a glass of water and some paracetamol on your end table, along with a note.
I had to go to class and you wouldn’t wake up :( We’ll talk about everything soon, we have to. See you at Jake and Sunghoon’s later?
— Your Hee.
If you hadn’t been drunk he might have been okay with the kiss, he might have looked down at you and kissed you properly. You might have talked last night, fixed things—you’ve never regretted drinking so much in your life.
Things are better tonight at least. You’ve been nursing the same can of cider since you arrived a few hours ago and Heeseung’s only had two sips of his beer, so hopefully, if you get some alone time, the two of you can finally talk. You’re still not sure what you should say, if you should apologise for waiting so long, for leaving in the first place. It seemed like a good idea at the time, applying elsewhere. You didn’t even think you’d get in but you knew you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t at least take the chance. It seemed like a sign when the acceptance letter reached your inbox before the term had finished, an unconditional offer to a high-ranking university, you couldn’t pass it up. And knowing Heeseung as well as you did, you knew he’d do anything to be by your side when you needed him, you knew he’d drop everything to move with you if you let him. You’d owe him forever. It wouldn’t be fair on either of you.
You called Jay in tears after a month away, telling him you made a mistake, that you needed to come back and had already filled out a transfer application. He convinced you to at least stay until the end of term, to actually make friends with the girls you were living with and see how you felt. A week later, he, Jake and Sunghoon showed up on your doorstep with chocolate and booze, hoping your room was big enough for all of them to stay for the weekend, it wasn’t, not really, but for three nights, the four of you slept head to toe in your bed after eating your body weights in pizza and ice cream. There was no talk of Heeseung, even though you begged them, and by the time they left, you felt much better. At the end of your first year, you quietly submitted your transfer application and shared a tearful goodbye with Yizhuo and Minjeong before finally flying back home. The boys seemed happy to have you back, even if it meant sneaking around to hang out with you—A nudge pulls you out of your thoughts, Heeseung.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
When you look at him, it feels like the wind has been knocked out of you. His eyes are brimmed with concern, wide and beautiful, a deep brown you’ll never get sick of. His lips are curved into a soft pout, a crease running along his brow that you want to smooth out.
Heeseung relaxes a little when you nod, but he seems unconvinced. “You sure?”
You reach up to poke his cheek, grinning when he turns his head, trying to fight a smile. “I’m good,” you say, pressing a dimple into his cheek anyway.
He holds your finger in his hands, unclenching your fist and locking his fingers with yours. A wide grin stretches over your lips as you plead with your cheeks to stop burning. Jake’s hand interrupts the moment, falling from the couch, limp and curled into a fist that smacks the back of your head. He’s fast asleep, not stirring at all even when Heeseung laughs.
Unfortunately, you lose rock, paper, scissors and have to wake Jake up. He shifts a little on the couch when you shake him, whining at you to stop and scrunching up his face at you. Heeseung and Sunghoon eventually sigh, grabbing him by the arms and legs to carry him to bed.
Both boys return, laughing about something and Heeseung sits down next to you again while Sunghoon leans in the doorway, yawning. “You two can have my room,” he says, cutting his eyes at you. “No funny business though, I just changed my sheets.”
You chuckle nervously and Heeseung makes a show of hiding his face in the crook of your neck, much to Sunghoon’s visible dismay. He clutches the doorframe so hard you see his knuckles paling and uses his free hand to point a stern finger in your direction. “I mean it,” is the last thing he says before leaving.
“Sorry,” Heeseung mumbles when the door closes. “It’s just so funny teasing him.” He’s grinning when he lifts his head and runs a shaking hand through his hair. “Anyway, you still haven’t told me about your group project.”
A sigh curls out of you, dramatic and loud as you let your head fall back against the couch at the thought of it. You brought it up in passing on Monday after class and spent the rest of the week pretending it didn’t exist.
“Damn,” he mutters. “That bad?”
You don’t have many friends in your Archaeology class, but you always look forward to it — because you’re covering Ancient Egypt — and enjoy it. But this morning, you slept in, arriving late, to find your lecturer assigning groups for a project weighing 25% of your final grade. She put the groups together based on where people were sitting, which left you, standing in the doorway fighting for breath, being added to a group of boys you shared a seminar with last term. They never contributed, and rarely showed up, constantly sending messages in the class Whatsapp group to ask if anyone had the tutorial answers. The sinking feeling that your project was doomed before it began plagued you throughout the lecture and all the way to lunch with Yunjin afterwards. Even though it doesn’t have anything to do with the story, you tell him in meticulous detail about your time with her that day. Thankfully, you’re sober so don’t admit that you spent a lot of the meal exchanging increasingly ridiculous ideas to get him back.
Heeseung is just as beautiful and good at listening as always, nodding his head and uhm-ing and ah-ing at all the right parts. Until his gaze changes for a split second into something so soft and so sweet that it leaves a mark on your heart. “I was pissed about it earlier, but now I’m here, with you, and I want you to be my boyfriend again,” you say, jaw hanging open as soon as the words come out.
His eyes widen, lips parting in shock. Then his brows furrow, pushing a crease into his forehead.
“I know what you’re going to say and I’m sorry.” You start running damage control and pray that Jake or Sunghoon will wake up and come back. “I really didn’t mean to say that, especially not now when we haven’t talked about everything. But you looked at me, Heeseung. You really looked at me just now and I can’t pretend I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry, really, but it’s your fault I said that.”
Mortified, you cover your face with your hands. “Can you say something now?” you ask, mumbling into the heels of your palms.
All he says is your name and a pit forms in your stomach. “God, anything but that,” you groan.
Heeseung chuckles, which you think is a good thing. “Would it be better if I called you baby?”
“In what context?”
Holding your breath, you watch as he presses his lips together, humming as he tilts his head. “Term of endearment between a girlfriend and her boyfriend.”
You lift your head, separating your fingers to see him properly through the space and the pit in your stomach dissolves into something live, butterflies fluttering in a frenzy from the look on his face. The gentle curve of his lips, the warmth in his eyes, and the slight flush on his cheeks all make your head spin.
“Really?”
Heeseung nods so hard his hair follows the movement. “Yes, baby.”
“Can we kiss now?”
“Maybe if you move your hands out of the way.”
“I don’t like maybe.”
“Definitely if you move your hands out of the way,” he corrects.
You can’t bring yourself to move, worried that the sudden motion might disrupt something, might knock you out of the moment. Heeseung laughs, so softly it sounds like an exhale, as he takes your wrists in his hands, tugging gently. With your face in full view, his eyes flit over your features for a beat before he cups your cheek in his hand, dragging his thumb over the soft skin of your lips.
You don’t even realise he’s leaning in until his lips touch yours. There’s a rush of something in your chest, an intense warmth surrounding your heart. His lips are softer than ever, gentle as he kisses you like you might break—you think you might. Nothing is better than this, better than having Heeseung’s lips on yours after all this time. You lean into him completely, pressing your body impossibly close to his and twirling your fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck.
“I love you,” he whispers, barely pulling away. “I love you so much.”
You can’t bring yourself to reply, emotions too close to the surface, tears too close to spilling. Instead, you smile into the kiss, somehow holding him closer and hoping he’ll understand. He pulls back, just enough to gaze into your eyes with a look of pure affection. He doesn’t press for words, a reassuring smile tugging his lips.
He understands, Heeseung always understands.
Sunghoon’s sheets are soft against your skin when you wake up, tickling your nose with the scent of detergent and Heeseung’s shampoo—fresh and light. Your hand finds its way into his hair, fingers curling around the strands as Heeseung watches you with a soft smile, eyes scanning your features, taking you in. He lets his hand rest on your cheek, thumb stroking the skin there and his eyes flick up to meet yours. You feel like a teenager, a giddy smile gracing your lips, giggles tumbling out at the tickly feeling of lovestruck butterflies rumbling in your stomach. Heeseung beams, nuzzling into the touch of your hand as his eyes flutter shut.
“If we’re going to work out this time—I want us to work out, but we need to talk,” you say after a beat.
Heeseung’s brows raise like he can’t believe what you’re saying, his lips pushing into a pout. “We are going to work out, of course we’re going to work out.” His voice is still raspy from sleep, a deep hoarseness that’s too sexy for the cute way he’s chewing on his lip, doe-eyed and sweet as his eyes scan your face.
“I know, baby, I want that.” You nod, using your hand to push his hair out of his face. It’s so long now it’s starting to cover his eyes, the soft blond strands curling into his eyelashes. “But you have to say no to me, you know? I want you to have a life of your own, we both should.”
“No.”
“No?” You press your eyes shut, sighing. “What do you mean, no?”
“I’m starting now.”
“I’m serious, Hee, this is serious.”
He pouts for a second before nodding. “I’m serious too. I can say no to you, I will say no to you.”
You can’t help your scepticism, raising your brow at him as you inspect his face. There’s nothing about his expression that suggests he’s not being serious, nothing in those huge eyes seeming insincere. But you know Heeseung, you’ve been with Heeseung, and you know better than anyone, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do if it meant spending time with you, so you have to ask. “So from now on, if I text you when you’re in class or out with friends, and I tell you I want to see you, what are you going to do?”
Heeseung sighs. “I’m going to text back and say that I’m.. busy.” His lips curl into a frown. “My heart will be super heavy though.”
“But you’ll do it? You won’t see me until you’re free?”
“I’ll do it, I won’t leave or anything.”
“Do you promise?”
“Yeah, baby, I promise.” When you smile at him, Heeseung leans in to seal his promise with a kiss, his lips meeting yours softly.
You flinch when the door opens and Heeseung chuckles against your lips, but he doesn’t stop kissing you. Over his head, you see Sunghoon standing in the doorway, hair dripping water on the floor with a towel wrapped around his hips.
Sunghoon sighs, loud and dramatic, his head falling back. “I specifically said no funny business,” he mutters. “Quit looking at me.” He comes into the room and lifts the duvet over your heads.
Under the covers, Heeseung pulls away, poking his head out and laughing. “We’re just kissing.”
“Yeah, with your shirt off. Why is your shirt off?”
“She wanted to wear—”
Sunghoon cuts him off with a gasp, pulling the duvet back. “Wait, why are you kissing?”
“I can’t kiss my girlfriend?”
The word makes your cheeks burn and you hide your face in Heeseung’s chest. His lips find the top of your head, kissing you as he wraps his arms around you.
Sunghoon groans at the sight. “I haven’t missed this at all,” he says. “Who else knows?”
“Just you so far.”
You can hear Sunghoon grinning when he drops the duvet back over your heads and shuffles around the room, getting ready for skating. Heeseung calls you cute and holds you closer. “I’ve missed you so much, missed this,” he mumbles into your hair. “I love you.”
Dating Heeseung again is better than anything you could have imagined, even if it has only been two weeks. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more, and even the simple things he does make you smile so hard your face aches. Like when he picks up snacks for you after class or sends you pictures of sweet things he wrote about you in his old diary. Chaewon and Yunjin comment that you seem happier, that you’re glowing, and you can’t help the giggles that always escape and the flush that burns your cheeks when you mention your boyfriend, Heeseung.
Even under the pressure of taking on a group project by yourself, you find yourself fighting a grin in the library just thinking about him. Your class finished an hour ago and you’re doing research in the computer lab while waiting for him so you can go back home together. With a crease in your brow, you try to make sense of conflicting articles on the origin of the Great Pyramid of Giza, happy when your phone lights up with a text.
hee: we should go on a date tonight !!! how does the fair sound?
you: sounds good :D
hee: ❤️
As if sensing that plans have been made without him, Sunghoon sends a message to the group chat asking who wants to go to the Spring Fair in the city centre tonight.
you: hee and i are alr going :/
sunghoon: awesome i can meet u at hee’s in a few hours?
You really can’t find the heart to tell Sunghoon it’s a date so you decide not to say anything, only feeling worse when Jay replies.
jay: sounds good :D
hee: it’s a date dumbass, you’re not invited.
sunghoon: ok.. i can still go
jake: time?
With your date set and whatever else the boys are planning in the group chat, you manage to finish up your work in time for Heeseung to show up with a grin on his face as you pack up your notebook. Excitement stirs in your stomach when he locks his fingers with yours and you’ve never looked forward to the sticky heat of a night in spring as much as you are right now.
“How was class?” you ask, squeezing his hand.
Heeseung grins at you, swinging your hands between your bodies as you weave through tables to leave the library. “Turns out I focus really well when you’re not sitting with me.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mm.” He nods, biting his lip.
“I can sit with other people if it’ll help you focus.”
“No!” he whines, loud enough to draw side eyes from the students around you before the tips of his ears burn red and he pulls you out of the library at lightspeed.
When you reach his flat, Jay’s sitting on the couch grinning at something on his phone, so distracted he doesn’t even realise you’ve arrived until you sit down next to him. He’s got a lot to say about his mock trial and tells you everything, all while you’re cuddled up to Heeseung, with your head on his shoulder.
You blink and the sun’s gone down, Jay isn’t around anymore and Heeseung’s arms are around your waist, holding you close. “Hey,” he says when you stir. “The boys left already, you just looked so cute sleeping that I didn’t want to wake you.”
There’s a wet patch on his sweater where your mouth was that you try to wipe away. It doesn’t budge. And a burning flush attacks your cheeks and neck when Heeseung uses his thumb to wipe some of the drool by your mouth. “So cute.” He chuckles. “Should we get going?”
You spend the whole journey to the city centre with your hand in Heeseung’s, trying to fight the butterflies in your stomach every time he smiles at you. It’s weird. To have been with him for so long, yet still feel giddy when he looks at you. This is new though, you suppose, to live away from home and see him whenever you want. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder and you can’t help the grin on your face at the thought of spending infinite nights like this, with him.
The Spring Fair is alive with laughter and squeals of delight that you can hear from around the corner. Winking lights spill onto the pavement in rapid succession, somehow showing the whole spectrum at once. Heeseung is bursting with excitement, running down the street with you in tow, desperately trying to keep up with his stride and regulate your breathing. His eyes are huge when you reach the gates, scanning the area for the churros he’s been talking about for the entire walk and he gasps when he sees the stall, pulling you along with him. You have to weave through the crowd, dipping and dodging tired locals and excited tourists as you call out apologies to everyone Heeseung bumps into. The first night is always packed like this, so full it’s hard to believe the fair runs for six whole weeks.
You share a heart-shaped churro and pose for the photos he wants to take, your heart swelling with affection as you pretend to be embarrassed when he buys matching character headbands for you both. Two years ago, Heeseung would’ve told you that headbands aren’t a good use of your money and bought them anyway, but today, he spent fifteen minutes trying on and taking photos with each character before finding the perfect pair. You can’t help but grin as he puts the headband on for you, a sense of excitement blooming inside you, so great it’s overwhelming.
Heeseung buys a blue raspberry slushy in an obnoxiously large reusable cup with two straws, and as he clutches his head with each brain freeze, chuckles pour out of you, only increasing when he pouts.
At every opportunity, the two of you take selfies, and the grin on his face in each one warms your heart. He posts his favourite to his story, showing you all the compliments he’s getting in his DMs, all aimed at you. He seems so proud and excited to be with you, and butterflies go mad in your stomach as he reads some of them out to you, agreeing with and adding to the messages.
“You’re so beautiful, baby. I think I might delete the picture,” he says, frowning as the story replies pour in.
The look on his face makes you laugh, struggling to talk but trying anyway. “But I love it.”
Heeseung puts his phone away, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “I love you,” he says, using his free hand to tip your chin towards him. He grins when you say it back, tracing his thumb along your jaw. An odd stillness hits you, in the midst of vibrant chaos. Flashes of multi-coloured LEDs dance in orange and purple strobes over his face and your breath hitches in your throat. His eyes are pretty and wide, flicking from your eyes to your mouth a few times as a flame starts to burn in your stomach, low and scorching.
“I love you,” you repeat, tip-toeing to close the gap.
You kiss him, slow and sweet to savour the sugary taste on his lips as they move against yours. His tongue slips into your mouth, deepening the kiss and the taste of syrupy artificial fruit, leaving you craving more, craving him. A pop goes out in the air and you flinch in Heeseung’s arms. He chuckles against your lips before he pulls away, looking up. Trails of pink and gold paint the sky above, vibrant sparks spreading everywhere as a few more go off. If you weren’t so busy trying to catch your breath, you might appreciate their beauty, but you are and the next pop only startles you too.
Heeseung looks down at you, his slightly swollen lips curving into a grin. “How are you so cute?” he coos. “And don’t most people want fireworks to go off when they kiss someone?”
“It’s probably a sensation thing, Heeseung.” You know it’s a sensation thing. The first time he kissed you, it felt like you were floating on air, as if Sunghoon’s basement, cold and dark, was the most romantic place on Earth. You were sweaty and nervous, sitting cross-legged on the floor next to Heeseung while the boys were sleeping. He was the one to lean in and he kissed the tip of your nose by accident.
“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “Come here.” His voice is so deep and raspy that it spurs the flame on, burning higher, hotter, until it’s the only thing you can think about. His hand finds your jaw again, pulling you towards him to kiss you. Of course, you can’t resist; he’s Heeseung.
The kiss is rife with neediness, whether from you or Heeseung you can’t tell, but you’re tugging at his hair and he’s clutching at your t-shirt, both of you struggling to get enough of the other. You nip at his bottom lip with your teeth and a heady sigh falls from his mouth into yours, brewing a storm in your mind, a thick fog obscuring everything but thoughts of him.
At the sound of a forced throat clearing, you break away from Heeseung, seeing an elderly lady with a steaming cup in her hand and a disgruntled look on her face. She extends an arm, gesturing behind you. When you follow the direction of her hand, you see a bench that you’re standing right in front of. Heeseung grabs your hand, mumbling an apology and tugging you as far away as possible. You struggle to stifle a laugh at the redness of his ears against his hair.
A huge ride swings and spins into the air, catching your attention, though Heeseung seems to be more interested in the way Jake stands by the entrance with a scowl on his face. Jake waves you over when he sees you, grinning and hugging you both like it’s been years since he saw you.
“Jay and Hoon are..” he trails off, using his arm to vaguely gesture towards the sky.
“Man,” Heeseung whispers, pointing a reverent finger to the sky, “R.I.P.”
Countless fireworks shoot up noisily, painting the dark sky, and Heeseung’s arms fall heavily around your shoulders, his body warm against your back. If not for the way Jake’s flinching next to you, covering his ears with his hands and ducking slightly at the bang of each one, it might feel like the two of you are alone in the moment. Alone despite the chatter, the laughter and squeals. Just you and Heeseung.
And Jake.
Heeseung is amazing at fair games, especially the ring toss. But a tired-looking man in a business suit wins the Hello Kitty plush you’d been eyeing for the snotty toddler wrapped around his leg, so you settle for the Kuromi plush instead. Heeseung says it’s cuter. You agree.
His voice is soft when he asks, “Maybe we can go on the Ferris wheel later?” This is a far cry from the boy of sixteen who fainted at an amusement park just from seeing the drop on the biggest ride there. When you look up at him, his eyes are wide, boring into you, holding the stars in his pupils with a grin across his blue-stained lips, and how could you say no to that face?
The platform by the Ferris wheel is sticky under your shoes, making you cringe with every step you take towards the front of the line. Heeseung’s grip on your hand is tighter than you think it’s ever been when he realises that you’re next to get on. This might be the most scared you’ve ever seen him, your poor boyfriend with his overpriced Kuromi headband shivering beside you.
You frown at the sight, reaching up to kiss his cheek. “We don’t have to do this, Hee,” you say.
He tries to play it cool, shrugging with a nonchalance that doesn’t match the fear in his eyes. “I want to,” he assures, though his voice lacks conviction.
“Are you sure?” The way he flinches when the ride operator opens the gate gives you his answer, but Heeseung is firm in his words as he pulls you towards the cart, despite wincing when the operator locks you in. “Baby,” you whisper, touching his cheek. “It’s not too late to get out.”
In what appears to be a display of his bravery, he makes a show of rocking the carriage — only to be told off by the operator (who can’t be older than sixteen) — and cheering (with no conviction) about nothing in particular. You can’t help but laugh, the cart shaking slightly as you let your head fall back and you only laugh harder when Heeseung gasps because of it.
He flinches again when the ride starts moving, an unsettling creak sending you forward just enough to allow the next victims — according to Heeseung — to get on the ride. When the last of them board, the wheel sets off in a slow spin and he spends the entire first rotation with his eyes clamped shut, only opening them after a while when he thinks the ride is over.
The wheel creaks more than what you think is necessary and he only grows more and more outwardly uncomfortable, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and gripping the safety bar above your laps until his knuckles turn white.
“Would it make you feel better if I held your hand?” you coo, holding your left hand out to him.
He rolls his eyes but takes your hand in his, holding it between his palms. Seemingly at ease, Heeseung shifts slightly in his seat to close the tiny gap between you, pressing his knee into yours.
Even in the distance, the fair’s LED lights are beautiful, melting away into flashing bokeh before your eyes as the carriage inches higher and higher. You almost forget your company, leaning over the edge to get a better look, only for Heeseung to put his arm on your arm, mumbling, “Stop it.”
His skin is warm despite the slight chill that comes with your increasing altitude, and you wish the carriage was smaller—cramped even, forcing the two of you together so tightly that you have no choice but to become one. You sit in the quiet of the night, excitement on the fairground growing quieter as the wheel spins, agonisingly slow, until eventually it’s just the two of you—you and Heeseung: the only people in the moment.
The only people in the world.
“Why are we even on this thing?” you whisper, squeezing his hand.
Heeseung shrugs his shoulders as gently as he can manage so as not to rock the carriage. His eyes are big when he looks at you, holding your gaze intently. “I wanted to be romantic.”
Oh, Heeseung, you think, pressing your lips into a frown. He’s the sweetest person in the world and just the thought of it makes your stomach flutter. “You’re plenty romantic,” you say sincerely.
He scoffs. “Yeah, because pretending you didn’t exist for a year is romantic.”
“Yes! Very!” You chuckle, nodding your head.
Again, he rolls his eyes at you but he uses his hand to hold your face, pulling you in. His kiss tastes like candy floss and the blue raspberry slushy you shared earlier, lips soft, relaxed against your own. Your hand reaches for his thigh, meeting instead with the squished plushy between your bodies and you can’t help but laugh.
With your presentation out of the way, you and the guys are all sitting in Heeseung and Jay’s living room for the first night of Spring break. You’ve just about reached your limit, cuddling into Heeseung’s side with your eyes closed, sleepily listening to the conversation. It’s unintelligible, more laughter and wheezes than anything else.
You shift your way into Heeseung’s lap after a while, moving around to get comfortable. It only takes two movements for him to grab you by the waist, holding you still. You try again, and his lips catch the shell of your ear. “Relax, baby. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” you admit, moving around again until he sighs, relieved, you think. A wicked grin spreads over your lips when you feel him getting hard, grinding down on him a little and liking the warmth that spreads in your stomach from having him pressed against you.
“Stop it,” he whispers, kissing the spot behind your ear.
You heed the warning but can’t help the thoughts filling your mind, though you try to ignore them, laughing at something Sunghoon said about Jake’s ugly hat and shoes. Jake doesn’t find it as funny as the rest of you seem to.
Another hour passes by in the same way before the boys stumble into Jay’s room, calling out a slurred goodnight to you and Heeseung on the couch. You stand up first, holding out a hand for him to take and giggling when he presses a kiss to the back of it.
In his room, he stares at a spot on the wall as you close the door, a contemplative look on his face. “Are you okay?” you ask, but he doesn’t look at you, only nodding his head with a crease along his brow.
You kiss him, a featherlight touch of your lips against his. It’s soft for a while, sweet and sincere until he clutches your shirt like his life depends on it. Heeseung’s hands are all over you, stroking and squeezing every part of you he can reach. Overwhelming heat burns your skin under his touch. He inhales sharply through his nose when you reach for his waistband, tugging the drawstring free but he grabs your wrist, stopping you. He keeps kissing you, keeps trying and frowns when you pull away.
“You don’t want this?”
He tilts his head, looking down at you with concern flooding his wide eyes. “Do you think we’re going too fast?” His voice is quiet and he chews on his lip after speaking.
“We’ve been together for six years.”
“A month,” he corrects, looking at his feet.
As badly as you want him, you don’t want him doing anything he’s not ready for, so you wiggle your arm free from his grip, dropping it at your side. He lifts his head to look at you, brows knitted together, the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. “I don’t want to rush you.”
“It’s not that.” He shakes his head with wide eyes. “I just don’t want us doing anything you’ll regret.”
“I’m not going to regret this, I don’t regret anything we’ve done, Heeseung,” you say, holding his face in your hands.
He closes his eyes, nodding.
“Do you want to stop?”
“Never,” he whispers and the word has you falling to your knees.
It’s hard to see his exact expression in only the dim glow of the streetlights outside, but you can clearly see the way he’s watching you. The way his eyes are lidded as he chews on his bottom lip, watching you reach for the buckle on his belt. Heeseung threads his fingers through your hair, groaning, and for a few seconds, you’re hypnotised. Too wrapped up in tipsiness and lust to move your fingers, completely focused on the way his breath starts to pick up before you’ve even done anything. You’re starting to think it might be enough for him just to see you like this, on your knees for him, wide-eyed and eager.
Whether on purpose or not, Heeseung tugs on your hair gently, pulling you from your trance. His blunt fingernails scratch at the back of your head as you undo his belt, tugging his jeans down. He steps out of them as soon as he can, smiling when you toss them behind you. Too worked up to wait, you push your face against him. You take a minute to hold his covered cock between your lips, shuddering at the feeling of the damp spot at the top of it. Heeseung grunts, bucking his hips. He looks like sin when you lock eyes with him, licking a strip to the top of his waistband, sucking and nipping at the skin and coarse hair there.
“Quit teasing,” he says, still keeping control of his voice.
You blink up at him sweetly, shaking your head. “I’m not,” you mumble, pulling his underwear down.
Heeseung’s dick smacks his stomach with a wet sound that makes you clench around nothing, and you sit back on your heels to admire him. Maybe it’s from time, or your unbearable desire, but he looks bigger, thicker, and much prettier than you remember. When you finally drag your eyes from his dick, you notice a mark on his hip, right above where his thigh starts. It’s a smudge of something dark, inky almost. You furrow your brows, licking the pad of your thumb to try and get rid of it. He practically flinches when you touch it, moving away from you. The increased distance between you and the low lighting only further obscures it—when you rub at the mark it doesn’t budge.
“What is this?”
“It’s nothing,” he says, sitting down on the bed and covering it with his hand.
If it was anyone other than Heeseung, you might have thought it was a tattoo, but you can’t make sense of the thought so it slips your mind as soon as it occurs. You reach for the lamp on his bedside table, flicking it on, losing your breath at the sight of his skin glowing golden in the light, and the tip of his cock is a tempting, glossy red. You can’t help but take him in your hand, stroking him slowly.
“Tell me, baby.”
“It’s a bruise,” he manages through a gasp, licking his lips.
Your thumb swipes over his slit and he crumbles. “Heeseung.”
“Butterfly, it’s a butterfly.”
A fuzzy warmth starts to bloom in your chest, overwhelming you. “Lay down,” you say, voice as soft as it’s ever been.
Heeseung obliges, linking his fingers with yours when you move his hand from his thigh. Under the light, you can see it clearly, dark strokes of ink forming a pretty butterfly, tiny, and heart-achingly familiar.
“Is it..” You trail off, moving your lips around words that you can’t get out as tears sting your eyes. “Did I draw this?” Leaning over him, you get as close as you can, using your finger to trace the shape.
Sitting up on his elbows, he looks down at you with a worried look on his face as he nods. “Do you hate it?”
“I love it.. it’s perfect.” You let go of his hand, using the back of your fingers to wipe at your eyes.
Heeseung sits up, letting his hand cup your cheek and looking at you. He uses his thumb to wipe some of the tears you missed before leaning down and kissing you. His lips move slowly with yours, he’s being gentle, so gentle that you hear your heart thudding in your ears.
“Come sit,” he mumbles against your mouth, helping you up and guiding you into his lap, a whine falling out of him when you sit on his cock and you mumble an apology that you don’t mean.
“When did.. Why did you..”
His shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. “My first birthday I spent without you. I just wanted to have something for you.”
You’ve seen it and you’ve heard it from him, but you still can’t make sense of it. “But you’re.. you’re Heeseung. You’d never get a tattoo, you told me that.”
“I’ll probably never get another tattoo, it hurt like hell,” he says, frowning.
“You’re such a sweetheart.” You cradle his face in your hands, gazing into his eyes, your sweet Heeseung. So different yet so incredibly similar. “You’re, like, obsessed with me.”
There’s a loud adoration in his eyes that makes your stomach turn. “How could I not be?” His smile is wide even though his lips are smushed a little by the way you’re holding his face.
Heeseung tilts his chin towards you so you kiss him, the two of you passing moans and whines between your mouths as you grind on him, his hands gripping your waist under your shirt. He shudders under you, rutting his hips against yours with a groan. He’s harder than ever underneath you, his cock hot between your thighs, pressed up against your core in the most maddening way. It can’t be comfortable for him, the friction from your underwear but he seems like he’s enjoying it just as much as you, maybe more, you think, when he starts throbbing.
Conscious of the boys across the hall, you try your best to be quiet, though Heeseung doesn’t share your concern, his lips parting too wide to keep kissing you and his head falling back as he lets a whine out into the air. His nails dig into your skin, hips speeding up more than you can keep up with as he trembles, clearly so close to the edge that you moan at the sight of him all fucked out in front of you. You chew on your lip, watching his whole face scrunch up before falling to your shoulder, his cum leaking out all over your panties and the tops of your thighs. A grin covers your lips while your pussy aches from the heat of his release and the feeling of his staggered breath hitting your skin. When he finally sits up, sweat slicks the column of his neck and chest, a nervous look in his eyes that he can’t quite bring to meet yours.
“This is j—” Heeseung cuts you off by covering your mouth with his palm.
“I remember. You don’t have to say it, baby, I remember.”
“You were so cute that day,” you say when he moves his hand. Butterflies fill your stomach when you think about it, the first time you ever did anything with each other, with anyone. He was fifteen, with cute round glasses perched on the end of his nose and teeth too big for his mouth, finishing in his jeans with you in his lap.
“You don’t think I’m cute anymore?” he asks, frowning.
“You’re always cute.”
Heeseung grins at your words, so wide and sweet your heart races. He kisses you gently and slips his hand into your underwear, his finger trailing the length of your pussy slowly, groaning into your mouth at how wet you are. You whine into the kiss when he strokes your clit and gasp when he pushes a finger into you easily. Gradually, he adds more fingers, fucking you open on his knuckles and watching as you fall apart.
His lips move from yours, falling to your neck so he can kiss and suck the sensitive skin there. “You feel so good, baby. My sweet girl,” he mumbles, breath searing your skin. The words make you clench, your stomach fluttering relentlessly as he uses his thumb to press on your clit, the pressure enough to make you spiral. It’s all too much too fast and before long, you’re squirming and mewling in Heeseung’s arms, finishing all over his fingers.
Immediately, an excruciating flush burns every inch of your body as you hide your face in his neck to catch your breath. His arms wrap around you and he whispers sweet nothings into your hair while stroking your back.
Ever since that night in his room, all your senses feel heightened when Heeseung is around.
And it doesn’t help that you spend every waking moment with him. Whether in his flat or yours, you’re joined at the hip and it’s near impossible not to pounce on him. In your stomach blooms a heat you haven’t felt in years. An all-consuming flame that makes you hold your breath when he cuddles you; makes you look away when he strips before showering.
He’s taken a liking to shirtlessness, only seeming to remember that the garments exist when he has to leave the house—which isn’t often now that classes have ended. This sudden cotton allergy plagues you, burning the image of his ever-increasing muscle definition and the tattoo on his hip into your memory, so deeply they’re the only things you see when you close your eyes at night.
Even when Heeseung’s being romantic, cooking dinner for the two of you and almost burning his finger with a match while lighting a candle, you’re thinking about him fucking you. When he goes out with the boys and stumbles into your flat, drunk, with a crushed bouquet in his hands, you’re thinking about what might have happened if you’d gone out too. If he’d finger you in the back of a taxi or take you against the door when you got back.
Weeks go by like this until you finally reach your limit.
There’s nothing overtly sexual about the way Heeseung’s sitting. About the way his lashes kiss his cheeks when he blinks, or the way his hair sits in a sleepy mess on his forehead. But it’s Heeseung. So these things existing on him drive you crazy.
Given the lack of privacy in your family homes — by way of an open-door rule when visiting each other — you and Heeseung didn’t have many opportunities to have sex that didn’t involve being tangled around one another in the backseat of his car. And even those occasions were few and far between.
With the only three brain cells that seem to function around your shirtless boyfriend and your head on the doorjamb, you begin to scheme. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—just a way to get Heeseung to fuck you without you having to bring it up.
“What’s up, baby?” he asks, finally looking over at you. His voice pulls you out of your thoughts, with a raspiness to it that makes your thoughts run wild. From head to toe, his eyes drag over your body, his tongue coming out to run over his lips.
Clearly, a very delicate, well-timed conversation is in order and the gears in your mind scrape against each other, turning egregiously as you try to figure out how to start the conversation. “I want you to fuck me,” you blurt out. Not the most delicate approach, but the way Heeseung’s eyes widen suggests you might be on the right track. “I didn’t mean to say that,” you admit sheepishly.
He chuckles deeply in a way you haven’t heard in years. “So you don’t want me to fuck you?” There’s a challenge in his question, evident from his raised brow, the setting aside of his phone, and the way he sits up straight. The movement forces the duvet to slip a little, falling from above his belly button to his hips in one fell — effortlessly sexy — swoop.
In spite of this, you can’t help but roll your eyes at him. How could you be standing there, in nothing but his t-shirt, asking him to fuck you and he’s caught up on semantics? “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“What are you saying?” When you don’t say anything, Heeseung lifts the duvet from his body entirely, grinning when your gaze locks on his hips. His pyjama pants are sitting low enough to show off the waistband of his underwear, and they don’t do anything to hide the way his hard cock pushes against them.
Heeseung towers over you, overwhelming you and the space of the doorframe as his mouth quirks up at one corner. “You want it, baby?” he asks, his voice soft as he cups your face in his hand, using his thumb to trace your lips.
His face dips down to yours and you can’t resist reaching up to kiss him, whining at the contact as you move your lips in sync with his. The sounds he’s making are dizzying, deep groans you feel in your chest. His hand grips your waist, pulling you as close as possible so you can feel him, hard and thick, pressing against you.
You whimper when he pulls away, chasing his kiss, but Heeseung only chuckles. “Say the word and I’m yours,” he whispers, looking down at you with those big eyes.
“I’m not going to beg.”
He smiles sweetly, a soft curve of his lips summoning butterflies. “Suit yourself,” he says, leaning down to press a kiss to the base of your neck and leaving the room.
Flustered, you follow him, flinging your arms around his waist and pressing your face into his back. “Okay, I’m going to beg.”
“I’m listening.”
“I need you,” you mumble into his skin.
“You have me.”
Even though his words and the way his lips audibly split into a grin make your heart race, you can’t help your frustration. “Heeseung,” you say, pleading with him.
He frees himself from your grip, turning around. When you look up at him, he’s watching you closely through lidded eyes, his lips parted in a soft pout that makes your heart melt. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, holding you close enough to feel him pressing against you. “I’m all yours, baby. What’s up?”
“Why are you torturing me?”
This makes him smile as he shakes his head. “I’m not.”
“Please.”
He brings a hand up to your face, his thumb stroking your cheek and you can’t help but nuzzle into his palm. “Please what?”
“You know what I need and I can’t go any longer without it,” you mumble into his hand. Heeseung only raises a brow and you sigh. Somehow, your want for him is greater than your embarrassment so you sigh, looking him in the eye. “If you want to, please, please, fuck me, Heeseung. Any way you want, baby, just promise me you’ll do it. I need it, need you.”
A shit-eating grin takes over his face as he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. “Was that so hard?” he asks, frowning when you don’t reply. “Don’t get all moody, baby, talk to me.”
Heeseung picks you up, holding you close as you wrap your legs around his waist. Both of his hands are spread over your ass and you’re too embarrassed to say anything, chewing your lip and staring at the little mole on his forehead.
“Need me to fuck you ‘til you can talk again?” There’s a roughness to his voice that makes your cheeks flush, but you can’t help but laugh, head falling back in a fit of cackles.
“What are you talking about?”
His pretty lips come together in a pout before he speaks. “I don’t know.” He shrugs, the tips of his ears burning red as he carries you to his room, using his foot to close the door behind him. “I’m rusty.”
You shake your head before kissing his forehead. “You’re perfect.”
Heeseung sets you down on the bed gently, crawling over you. “I like seeing you in my shirts,” he says, clutching the fabric in his fists, tugging a little.
“Someone has to wear them.”
A breathy laugh falls from his lips. “What?” He tilts his head, leaning away from you to sit back on his heels. “You don’t like seeing me like this?”
It’s hard to find a balance between missing his warmth and looking at his body. Staring at the definition that marks his chest and stomach and the way his muscles stick out over his biceps, you can feel yourself leaking at the sight of him. Your eyes catch on his waistband, on the strip of hair that’s cut off by the start of the fabric before falling to the bulge in his pants.
“You’re looking at me like I’m your next meal,” he mumbles, leaning back over you with a deep flush on his cheeks and neck.
“I think I want you to be.”
“You think?”
You nod eagerly, anticipation swirling in your stomach.
“Anything I can do to make you certain?” Heeseung’s voice is thick with something you think could be enough to make you finish.
“Whatever you want,” you say, desperate.
He chews on his lip, considering you for a while before kissing your cheek. Once more, he sits up, tugging at your waist. “First, I want this shirt out of my way,” he says with a smile.
Immediately, you lean off the bed to let him take it off, tossing it behind him. “Anything else?”
Heeseung’s too busy staring to speak, taking you in hungrily with a jarring combination of lust and adoration behind his eyes. You thought you’d feel shy about him seeing you after so long, but you’ve never felt more comfortable in your life as he reaches down to lock his fingers with yours. He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “You’re so pretty,” he says against your skin.
There’s no stopping the flutter in your stomach or the smile that spreads over your lips. You tell him you love him and he says it back as he leans back down to kiss you slowly, his tongue licking into your mouth at an agonising pace, a line of saliva connecting you to him when he pulls away.
“I want to get my head between your legs,” he mumbles, letting his hand dip between your spread thighs. “So wet already?” he asks, dragging your slick up to your clit, rubbing it with a featherlight touch that leaves a whine slipping from your lips. “Will you let me?”
You nod.
Heeseung smiles and you match it before he dips his head into the crook of your neck, kissing the skin there for a minute. His breath and wet mouth are hot, burning a trail down to your collarbone and chest, where he gets distracted, pulling one of your nipples between his lips.
Your stomach twists at the sight of him, his pretty, pouty lips sucking and biting at your sensitive skin, the way he’s moaning against you, using his thick fingers to tug and pinch your other breast. It takes him a while to move on but you don’t complain, even when he presses tickly kisses to your stomach.
When he reaches your legs, he gets off the bed, kneels on the floor and hooks his arms around your thighs to pull you towards him. You feel exposed when he uses his thumbs to spread you, staring at your pussy with wide eyes, his lips parted a little until his head falls back with a groan.
“Missed this pussy. Been thinking about it so much, all the time. So beautiful, baby.” He manages to drag his gaze from between your legs to lock eyes with you. “You’re so beautiful, baby.” His lips touch your thighs, kissing the soft skin there, sucking marks into it and biting softly. The sting is subtle but it makes you clench, a movement that isn’t lost on him. “You’re so needy, huh? You want me that bad?” he asks, looking up with a tilted head.
You mumble the word ‘no’ and shake your head. “Need you.” The words come out of their own accord, nothing more than a desperate whine that makes Heeseung press his eyes shut. You watch as he shifts on the floor, leaning in and giving you the attention you deserve.
Heeseung’s nose grazes your slit and you gasp at the sudden contact, flinging your head back into the pillows when he licks a strip from there to your clit, giving it a quick peck.
You card your fingers through his hair, gripping at the strands so hard it must hurt, but he doesn’t seem to mind, going slow despite the way you’re trying to rut against his face. He kisses the spot above your clit, his tongue poking out to lick at the skin there, only hitting the bud a few times and the anticipation is enough to make you spiral.
Time stands still, all concept of it demolished when, finally, he wraps his lips around your swollen clit, running his tongue over it with a pressure that leaves you shaking against the sheets. Moans pour out of you like water from a faucet with nothing but pleasure and Heeseung’s sweet mouth crossing your mind.
It doesn’t seem like he’s ever going to stop, only coming up for air for a brief moment before sticking a finger into you and attaching his mouth to your clit, burying himself in your wetness. The stretch is minimal, barely registering in the waves of pleasure crashing over you, until he adds a second finger, thick and rigid as he works you open for him. By the time his third finger enters, you have to pull him away by his hair, struggling to find the words to say and settling on a whiny cry of his name.
“Hmm?” He looks up at you, face covered in slick that shines on his chin and nose, shoulders rising and falling heavily, but his fingers don’t let up, curling towards your belly button torturously slow.
“Want to cum with you inside.”
Heeseung’s eyes darken and he licks his lips. “Yeah?”
“Uh-huh, and I don’t want you using a condom either, want you to fill me up.”
“Are you sure?”
You nod. “I’m still on the pill and you’re the only person I’ve ever been with.”
Heeseung wastes no time standing up from the floor, watching hungrily as you sigh at the emptiness, moving up on the bed. He uses his fist to pump his cock slowly, sighing when he drags his thumb over his tip. A beat passes before he grins, boyish and handsome while crawling over you again. His face softens and his eyes burn into yours as he cups your cheek in his palm. “You sure about this?”
“I’m sure, Heeseung, you’re all I want,” you whisper, pecking his lips.
“Me too.”
He uses his free hand to reach for his cock, rubbing his tip over your clit and chewing on his lip. He lets his cock split your folds, grinding his length against you, rubbing your cunt with a wet sound that fills the room. Heeseung straightens up and you moan when he spits into his palm, stroking himself before pressing the head of his cock to your entrance. You hold your breath, bracing for the stretch and crying out when he pushes in. His head falls forward with a sigh, his hair tickling your forehead.
“I missed you,” he groans when he bottoms out, his thumb running over your lips. A moan slips out of him when you open your mouth, running your thumb over the pad of his finger and sucking on it. “Missed these pretty lips, this pussy. Don’t know how I got on without it.” His words and the feeling of him inside after so long only make you dizzy, knowing that he wanted you like you wanted him. He watches you with parted lips, rocking his hips tenderly against yours.
“Faster, Hee,” you whisper. “Harder.”
Heeseung’s brows knit together and he slows to a pace that lets you feel single vein and inch of him as he bottoms out before pulling almost all the way out. “Can you take it?” he asks, a jarring tone to his voice that you think is a challenge.
You nod desperately. “Please.”
The word flips a switch for him and he speeds up, thrusting so hard, so deep that your back arches off the bed as his tip nudges your g-spot each time. Just when it all starts to feel too much, Heeseung lifts one of your legs, hitting deeper than he has before and tangling up a knot in your stomach.
“You’re so good, baby, so good for me.” His eyes are dark and lidded, full of all the love in the world as he gazes into yours, a tangible love that overwhelms you, eating you alive along with his praise.
Sweltering heat stretches through every part of your body at the drag of him inside, the push and pull of his cock along your stuttering walls. It’s enough to make you shiver and a cry of his name rips out of you when he starts rubbing your clit again, pushing the bud in slow circles that make you screw your eyes shut.
“That’s it. Cum for me, baby, make a mess,” he whispers and that’s as much as you can take.
Stars flash behind your closed eyes as every single part of your body sets alight, dazed by Heeseung’s whines and the feeling of being full, finally being full, until both ends of the knot tug and tug, leaving you with nothing but a hoarse moan that dies in your throat as your orgasm hits you like a truck.
A lewd squelch accompanies each of his thrusts as they get sloppier and sloppier, losing their rhythm and intensity. It seems like he’s right there with you though when he collapses on top of you, his head falling into the crook of your neck and his moans slipping out like music to your ears.
It’s hard not to fall apart under him, but you try your best, dragging your nails over the toned muscles of his back while telling him you love him over and over until he finishes. Both of you are trembling, fighting for breath and whining as Heeseung sloppily fucks you full of his cum. The sound is downright pornographic, loud and wet as your cum mixes with his for the first time in so long. An inexplicable intimacy so thick it hangs in the air, perching on your shoulders as he looks into your eyes.
Heeseung slows down after a while, stopping completely but not pulling out yet, keeping you full and aching around him. When he catches his breath, he gives you a dreamy smile, thanking you before pressing soft kisses to every part of your face he can reach.
You whine when he pulls out, missing him as soon as he’s gone. Despite your sensitivity, you want to beg him to come back, to slip back into you and stay forever, though Heeseung has other plans. He sits between your legs, dragging a lazy finger up your slit and watching with a smile as cum leaks out. You squirm against the sheets, pushing your head into the pillow when he uses two fingers to push it back in.
“Wish I could keep you full like this forever,” he mumbles absently, curling his fingers.
All you can do is sigh happily. Long minutes go by until he takes his fingers out of you, reaching behind him for his shirt to wipe you up before leaning down to your face, mumbling against your lips to come and shower with him.
You’ve never showered with Heeseung before and a voice in your head tells you to press your cheek against the tile and let him have you again, but you’re way too sleepy for that. The warmth of the water and his big hands roaming your body do nothing to help, only forcing your eyes to fall shut as you lean back against Heeseung’s chest, willing yourself to stay awake.
Once you’re all showered and clean, you only feel sleepier, standing on the plush bath mat in front of the steamed-up mirror. Droplets of water trickle down your skin and you can’t help but revel in the warmth of the room around you. Wrapped snugly in a soft, fluffy towel, you find yourself too tired to follow Heeseung out, slathering some of the expensive moisturiser Jay keeps in the bathroom over your skin. You peer into the mirror, though you don’t see much, and for a moment, it’s just you and the steady trickle of water from the showerhead. The bathroom smells like Heeseung’s minty shower gel and you miss him already, but you take your time anyway, savouring the moment and everything that came before it.
You find him in his room when you’re done, tucking the last corner of a fitted sheet around his mattress.
“You want to nap, baby?” he asks when he sees you, holding out a clean shirt for you to wear.
“Mm,” you hum, nodding your head and dropping the towel so he can put the shirt over your head.
“Let me just fix the pillowcases, yeah?”
You nod, slumping into his desk chair and watching the muscles in his back shift and flex as he moves around the room, dumping the dirty bedding into his laundry basket and slipping the clean linen over his pillows. He pulls the duvet back and pats the mattress, grinning when you shake your head and make grabby hands in his direction,
Heeseung stretches his arms above his head and comes over to you but you stop him before he can pick you up.
“I’m going grocery shopping with Yunjin later and I need a pound for the trolley, do you have any?” you ask through a yawn.
He scratches his chin, thinking about it. “If I do, they’re in my wallet,” he says, reaching for it on the desk and handing it to you before taking a seat on the end of his bed.
When you pull on the zipper to open the coin slot, you find a shiny pound coin and a folded piece of lined paper. You leave the coin where it is and hold the paper between two fingers for him to see. “What’s this?”
Immediately, he hides his face with his hands but you can still see the flush on his ears. You’re not sure what reaction you were expecting, but despite your curiosity, you won’t look at it if he doesn’t want you to. “Sorry, baby,” you say, putting it back. “Forget I asked.”
Heeseung sighs, looking up at you through the gaps in his fingers. “You can look if you want, it’s nothing bad, just mildly humiliating.”
Nervous anticipation settles over your body and you can’t help but laugh a little, feeling your breath catch in your throat when you unfold the crumpled and creased paper. It’s blank. You arch a curious brow at Heeseung, who, though still slightly embarrassed, gestures for you to turn it over.
What meets your eyes on the other side leaves you stunned. There, inked in blue with delicate care yet bearing the natural imperfections of a hand-drawn butterfly, was a familiar image. It’s the very same butterfly you drew in your notebook on a spring date with him four years ago. Your fingers tremble as you trace the lines, your heart racing as you remember how he’d torn it from the page, eyes full of appreciation for the simple drawing.
Tears well up in your eyes when it dawns on you. It’s the very same butterfly he has tattooed on his hip, a permanent reminder of your love that endured separation and time.
Your voice is weak as you look up at him, quivering with emotion. “You kept it after all these years,” you whisper.
Heeseung smiles, his eyes full of love. “I never let go of what matters to me.”
© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
#heeseung smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen scenarios#heeseung scenarios#heeseung x reader#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung#lee heeseung x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#heeseung oneshots#heeseung imagines#enhypen hard hours#fic.heeseung
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
JANUARY 1ST, 00:03AM
hey! uh hey... this might be weird but um happy new year! well, uh that's not the weird part, no the weird part is that um... like... i don't know man. i've recorded this like twenty times already, since uh eleven fifty? i think? i actually wanted to send it before the countdown but um... here we are. yeah i'm not sending this one either. it shouldn't be that hard to confess to the person you like right? not that a phone call is that romantic either but dude... i just can't stop thinking about you. and it's driving me crazy like i can't keep it to myself anymore man. oh shit is that two minutes...oh fuck um no cancel. delete...delete! DELETE DO NOT SEND DO NOT--
JANUARY 1ST, 00:05AM
hey um don't listen to the voicemail you just got from me! i um said some stuff that ... look man i'm a little drunk right now and -- MARK GET OVER HERE -- haechan dude i'm literally on the phone. no it's a voicemail... dude if they picked up i wouldn't be having this conversation with you. stop, dude, come on... no hyuck move--
JANUARY 1ST, 00:10AM
ok um hey, it's me again. uh mark. it's mark. mark lee. i'd appreciate it if you didn't listen to the uh... the two other voicemails i left. i just wanted to call and say um happy new year! you've been on my mind lately and oh... is that weird to say? man that makes me sound like some kind of pervert. uh ignore that then, i mean... i just... can i see you tomorrow? i um... i need to talk to you about something. nothing uh super serious! like don't worry i just... AGAIN? THAT WAS NOT TWO MINUTES I'M NOT DONE YET I--
JANUARY 1ST, 00:12AM
i think i'm in love with you.
🧾 © 00127am 2024
#⏱ wake up! it's 00127am!#☏ you have one new voicemail!#nct#📋 - nct 127#📋 - nct dream#📋 - mark#nct 127#nct fanfic#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct x reader#nct dream#nct u#nct 127 x reader#nct 127 scenarios#nct dream x reader#nct dream scenarios#nct dream fanfic#nct dream imagines#nct timestamps#nct 127 timestamps#nct dream timestamps#nct dream fluff#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 imagines#mark x reader#mark lee#mark lee x reader#mark fluff#mark lee fluff
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
≡ 𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒! (𝟏𝟖+)
「 MEMBERS 」 ⋮ mark lee, huang renjun, lee jeno, na jaemin, lee haechan, zhong chenle, park jisung
≣ content warning ⋮ perverted, depraved, & taboo thoughts, nerd!mark, cnc / dubcon, innocence stealer!chenle, somnophilia, mentions of weed usage as a form of coercion, too strong!jeno, manhandling, rough!jeno, degradation, religious sacrilege, corrupt church boy!jaemin, slight humiliation, corruption, ra!renjun, manipulative!renjun, cocaine usage.
≣ a.note ⋮ i'm smoking weed and listening to old hiphop, what else was i supposed to do other than write these cute little perv drabbles :) give me a like, a follow, or a reblog.
⩩ mark lee ⋮ so what if he's a 'nerd'. he doesn't care if you make fun of him in class with all your friends. he shrugs it off like no big deal. it really wasn't a big deal, until you brought up his dick size. see, mark isn't one of those guys whose ego gets shot from small dick jokes. but when the joke leaves your pretty little mouth, well something shifts in the pit of his stomach. he still shrugs it off though, until you're walking home from class, skirt swishing back and forth just barely covering the swell of your ass. good little girls should know better... it was easy, really. clamping a hand over your lips puckered in a silent scream. and then to drag you back to his car. oh, it was so, so easy. in fact, you really wanted it. the way you spread your legs, revealing a patch of arousal on the seat of your lacy panties. how you willingly helped him slip them to the side. the way you moaned his name when he slid into your puffy cunt, tits pressing against his chest and eyes locked on his. you begged for him to keep going. for him to go harder. so he did. again, and again, and again. until you could barely walk when he dumped you outside the front of your dorm. but sure enough, you stayed quiet in class the next day...
⩩ huang renjun ⋮ renjun has an addiction. it's not porn - not technically. it's not cocaine, or nicotine. he's not an alcoholic, yet still, he felt the withdrawal all too much. he was addicted to you. or, your body, rather. he dreamed of it, hands reaching up to cup your tits, cock sunk deep in your pussy, spit dribbling down the side of your mouth as you lost yourself on him. and when he woke up, aching and hard, he had no choice but to pathetically jerk off to the remnants of the memory. he thought about putting cameras in your room, maybe the womens showers, to capture you. something he can have as a keepsake of this obsession. see, he had access. he was your resident advisor. he could do that. but then he found out from a little birdie that his star resident in room two oh twelve used her daddies money to buy coke off her dealer boyfriend. see that...that was the key. all he had to do was used that as bait to convince you. and he did. one night, at a stupid party he was supposed to shut down, he saw you snort a line off the living room table. next thing he knew, you were upstairs, tears welling in your eyes, pleading with him not to tell. you would do anything. anything.
⩩ lee jeno ⋮ really, his strength was his best asset. but he's never had someone put up this much of a fight. seriously, after one good hair pull and a hand around the throat, girls usually let up. but you... you were fun. you were a challenge. you push back, hands slapping against his chest to combat him. all he does is snarl and shove harder, pressing your back against the kitchen counter. his biceps flex with the exertion of grabbing your wrists and pinning them to the marble. you thrash around still, until he twists your body so sharply, you cry out. he chuckles, "god i love you." he presses his stiffening cock against you, circling his hips to gain some sort of friction, "feel that? you're driving me crazy." a few half-hearted attempts at getting free does nothing for you, instead, it spins you around so now your chest was pressed flat against the cold surface. he transfers your wrists into one giant hand, and uses his other to yank down your bottoms. "...and you're soaked. fuck, y/n. gonna give you what you need. gonna fuck this stupid attitude outta you, yeah?" your walls flutter around his uninvited fingers, "ahhh, you like that, you sick fuck. want me to fuck you into submission. make you a real good girl for me. gonna train you to take me, and only me." he doesn't even feel you resist anymore, because you give up. you let him use your body until he's spent, and even then, you let him use your mouth. anything for him. anything for jeno.
⩩ na jaemin ⋮ he wasn't a god. but at this moment, with his entire world peering up through wet lashes, on bruised knees...well, he surely felt like one. it didn't help that he stood overtop your broken figure on the edge of the alter. he caresses your jaw and gives you a smile full of pearly white teeth that gleam in the stained glass shadows, "speak." with tears welling in your eyes at the command, it takes a second, but eventually your hoarse voice echoes out, "forgive me father for i have sinned." you see, jaemin wasn't a priest, but he took your confessions as if he was one. he wanted you to bare your soul to him. your perverted, depraved, sick thoughts. he doesn't speak though, just cocks an eyebrow and crouches down so that he was eye level. you continue, "i-, this is so...embarrassing, gosh, i don't..." he gives your jaw a squeeze, making the words tumble out, "i did it again. i... i touched myself again..it's wrong, i- i know, but he, you...plague my mind." your voice quiets the longer his gaze burns into you. but nothing compares to the image that burns brighter in his mind. your innocent fingers slipping between plush thighs, jaemin being the temptation you couldn't withstand. it made him feel fucking good. "it's okay darling, god forgives you, i forgive you..." he stands up again and reaches a hand down to toy with the buckle of his belt, "but with sin comes punishment." he undoes the latch and slowly slips it from the belt loops of his dress pants. the sound makes you flinch, a whisper escaping your pouted lips, "oh god." heat surges through his veins, almost bringing him to his knees, "no angel, i'm not god. i'll be more forgiving than any god. i'll be gentle, i'll liberate you from all sin. i'll make you good. my darling, i'll make you pure again."
⩩ lee haechan ⋮ yeah, he did it on purpose, so what. technically, he didn't force you to inhale, he simply stuck the blunt between your fingers and called it a day. admittedly, you did exactly what he wanted, but he chalked that up to good luck, and the devil on his side. watching you slowly revert to a rambling, squirmy mess made his cock stir in his jeans. and when you got all cuddly, snuggling up to his chest and dragging him closer, well, what else was he supposed to do other than stick his tongue in your mouth and push you back against the arm of the couch. you came on to him, really. either way, the night led with his tongue down your throat, and his hand up your skirt. and still, when he pushes your panties to the side and slips a finger into your cunt, his suspicions are confirmed. your arousal dripped down his wrists, a testament to how much you truly wanted him. really, he was doing you a service. an act of kindness. "be still baby" he growled, forcing your legs wider apart. you whimpered and whined, body holding still but head rolling on your shoulders. "hyuckie.." you kept mewling, and with each sound of his name, he grew harder and harder. it felt like he might burst if he didn't bury his cock in you right this minute. so he does. sloppily, because he was high too, but he does. and it's slow, and messy, and sick. and he loved every fucking second. god, he can't wait to do this to you, no, with you, again.
⩩ zhong chenle ⋮ stealing innocence, robbing naivety, corrupting purity... whatever people call that, chenle calls a normal everyday thought. he hasn't really fucked you yet, only teased you. he's coerced you into letting him touch your cunt, but only the soft skin on the outside. you've let him touch your breasts, but never the sensitive bud in the center. you also let him toy with your ass one time, but the second he tried to slip a finger inside, you pushed him off and told him to wait. nothing could happen before marriage. but chenle was tired of waiting. he was bored of watching you through the camera in the shower. sick of touching himself beside your sleeping figure - the only time he could shift your legs in your sleep to poke at your clothed cunt. just rubbing you through the satin material of your pajama bottoms got him off, but he needed more. this time, he was able to wriggle your shorts down around your ankles, and what a sight it was. oh he was gonna have so much fun. one finger, two fingers, his tongue, eventually working his way up to the tip of his cock. pushing in, not too much to make you stir... just enough to tease himself. you were so tight, so untouched. it was obvious he was your first, and it took everything in him to hold back. tomorrow night...tomorrow night will be the night he fucks you full, until you're leaking his cum. until you're his. ruined for him only.
⩩ park jisung ⋮ jisung hates how you think of him. not just you, but everyone really. see, he's not just the maknae. he doesn't want the baby voice, or the coddling, or the fucking head pats. if you really knew what he was capable of, maybe you'd think twice before treating him like a kid all the time. if you could see the way he fucks his fist, fingers twisted in the sheets of his bed, or knuckles jammed between his teeth... the things he thought about; you sitting on his cock, forced to take every inch of him, even when the tears well over the brim of your eyelashes. cunt full of his fingers while he sucked and nipped at your breasts. the bruises he'd leave on every inch of your skin. how he fantasizes about pushing you to the floor and stuffing his cock down your throat until you were thrashing for just a small breath of air. he doesn't get off on hurting you, no, he could never do that. but making you see just how much stronger he was.. how he could force you onto your knees, and rough you up a bit until your swollen lips screamed his name. well, maybe then you'd stop treating him like some dumb kid.
≣ taglist ⋮ @hykwrld-main @peachjaem00 @rainyjeno @be-my-sunrise @revehae
#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader#mark lee smut#haechan smut#jeno smut#jaemin smut#nct jisung smut#chenle smut#renjun smut#nct dream drabble#nct dream reaction#nct smut#nct smut drabble
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
NCT Dream when you don't talk to them for one week straight.
AN: Featuring husband! Dreamies because why not <3
Mark Lee
You were surprised to see Mark waiting for you in the living room. After a week of not talking to each other because of a huge misunderstanding, Mark became a ghost to you. Barely in the house and not even sleeping in the bed with you. He stands up, lets out a sigh and looks at you, "Let's fix this," you can sense in his tone that he's tired. He looks at you sincerely, waiting for your response whether or not, you're on the same page as him. "Okay," you simply said, nodding to give assurance to your husband.
Huang Renjun
"I don't want this to be longer," Renjun blurted out. You two are having a dinner together even though you're not talking to him for almost a week. You stared at him, and you can see that he's desperate for you. The fight was intense and for the duration of the week, you two are walking on eggshells whenever each other are near. "Please love?" he pleaded. You only stared at him, reaching for his hands as you only look at him a small smile, giving him a small nod.
Lee Jeno
"Jeno, what are you doing here?" you asked. He's standing in front of the doorsteps of the guest room --- which is where you've been staying for almost a week. Your husband only stared at you, there's longing in his eyes and your heart started beating fast. "I'm sorry," and tears starting to fall from your eyes. You ran towards him, crying hard. "Why are you apologizing, it's my fault! Don't say sorry!" Jeno only hugged you back. "I just need you now." he whispered. That's when you started apologizing for what happened, promising him that this won't happen again.
Lee Donghyuck
"They know that we had fight," Haechan told you. The Dreamies went to your place for a dinner, and while there's a tension between you and your husband, the dinner went smoothly. Instead of answering him, you only gave him a deadpan stare, and before you could leave, Haechan was able to grab your hands. "Now, let's be mature and talk about what happened last week, maturely," he emphasized the words, 'maturely.' You only rolled your eyes but sat on the sofa, knowing that even you, wanted to put a stop to all of this.
Na Jaemin
The wors thing about having a fight with your husband was that he'll be out of the country for a week. And during that week, there were no phone calls nor text from each other. It's driving you crazy, but you know that the fight started with Jaemin, so why should you be the one who'll talk to him first? The doors opened, and it was just a coincidence that you're sitting in the sofa along with Lucy. "I'm home," Jaemin announced. You only gave him a stare. "Can you now talk to me please?" He pleaded, and before you could answer, Jaemin hugs you. "I miss you so much."
Zhong Chenle
"I know that we're not talking, but I made you dinner," Chenle said to you, and before you could react. He already left. You watched as he sat at the dinning table, not moving. You closed your eyes and wonder what the hell did you two fought about that you ignored him for a week. A week without Chenle, without his touch and affections, and as much as it was hard for you, you couldn't muster the courage to apologize first. So when Chenle approached you today, you thought of it as a way to settle your fight. So you went to the dining area, sat beside him and began eating the meal he cooked.
Park Jisung
It was one of the rare occurence where Jisung goes home drunk. As you open the door, you saw how Jisung stumbled his way inside, you stood there frozen as you watched his movements until he turns around to face you. In a split second, he's on you, cupping your cheeks as if he's longing for you. "Are you not going to talk to me anymore?" he asked, his tone almost crying. "Come on, talk to me now, you're driving me crazy you know that?" and you only stared at him, before reaching your hands to cup his cheeks too. "I'm sorry Ji," you whispered.
#nct dream#nct imagines#nct dream fic#nct fic#nct#nct dream imagine#nct x reader#nct scenarios#nct mark#nct jeno#nct renjun#nct jaemin#nct haechan#nct chenle#nct jisung
703 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fuckboy Min 2 - angst w/ Lee Know + Hyunjin. 18+ only mdni.
{ Part 1 here + Part 3 here }
{Mina’s notes: I really enjoyed writing this. Sorry it took a while! Let me know what you guys think through comments or my ask box 📃💖}
“You done crying yet or?” Hyunjin jokes after watching over you for the past thirty minutes. He was in the drivers seat handing out countless tissues to you, who was in his passenger’s.
“Hyunjin, stop,” you crack up at his teasing. You were done crying now, you just weren’t done being upset yet. A heavy feeling still lingering around your shoulders as you try your best to block out Minho’s words circulating in your head.
“Are you still not going to tell me what he said to you in the bathroom?” A hand comes to wipe away the last of your tears, his tone gentler now.
Hyunjin can see the marks on your neck, anyone can. He can tell what happened in the bathroom and he knows Minho must’ve said something to overwhelmed you to cry, but he just doesn’t know what exactly.
“I don’t want to re-live it Hyunjin,” you couldn’t tell him. You didn’t want to tell him that you said the L word to Minho within the same month you got rejected by him. Hyunjin could never judge you for that but how can you tell him without telling the whole thing, how it was forced out of you. Dirty? Dirty because of Hyunjin? The words repeats again, haunting you. Hyunjin was involved in Minho’s mean and hurtful words and you feel guilty. Hyunjin did absolutely nothing wrong, he didn’t deserved to be dragged into whatever mess was going on between you and Minho.
“Why? Is it because you might cry again?” He playfully says, not wanting you to feel downhearted at your own actions. He lets out a giggle after observing how you quickly pierced your eyes at him sassily - something you picked up from him. It doesn't matter what situation you're in, Hyunjin always makes it light hearted. He's so playful but in a way where he is still careful and you never fail to warm up to him. Just like this moment.
“I just got my heart broken by the city’s fuckboy, I don’t need the city’s heartbreaker to feed into it,” you chuckle and he follows with furrowed brows, unable to keep a straight face at the names.
“Those names are crazy Y/N,” he remarks.
“I actually don’t think you’re a heartbreaker Hyunjin, it’s just what everyone calls you,” you reassured him, hand finding his to give him a tight squeeze.
"I probably am one," he held yours back tighter, letting you know he didn’t take it to heart. "I'm curious though," he continues .
“Hmm?”
“Curious to why the city’s fuckboy keeps yelling at you,” you eyed him again, arms crossed this time with a fake pout. “Or is it that you’re just a cry baby?” he laughs but he was serious though, he wanted to see why Minho keeps leaving you in tears.
“I’m not a cry baby,” you defend yourself. “You’re probably tired of me crying hey? I know how to smile too!” To be fair, you were kind of a cry baby especially as this is the second time he has picked you up and wiped away your tears, all within a month.
“Wait, can you actually?” he continues.
“I’m actually really sweet Hyunjin, I promise!”
“How about the city’s heartbreaker takes you out one day?” The tension from the incident with Minho start to disappear as Hyunjin slowly soothes it, directing your attention somewhere else - something he is very good at.
“Hmm?” brows furrowed together. His question had taken you by surprise, you were unsure if he was serious. “Like on a date?” You clarified.
“Mhmm,” he confirmed. “So you can show me how sweet you can be and that you’re not just a cry baby.” He already knows how sweet you are. Last couple of weeks you guys spent together talking about everything and nothings have really shown him what type of person you are. You were caring, cheerful, playful. You loved to tease, loves to be teased and takes on jokes like a champ. You were just full of laughter and happiness and meeting someone like you is hard for Hyunjin. It seems that he has developed a soft spot for you, but unlike Minho he isn’t afraid to show you.
You just giggle back, unaware of the thoughts going through Hyunjin’s head, everything falling into silence right after.
Hyunjin is a lovely person and you hate to say yes just to distract yourself from Minho. But Hyunjin has that effect on you, where he has made you forgot about Minho whenever you’re with him. You don’t know how to explain it. Like earlier tonight before all of this, when you went with him to the party, you had zero care for anyone and anything besides Hyunjin and wine. Or like right now, Minho was slowly fading away in your head. If you give him a chance, maybe he’ll be better than Minho. He always was, seeing as he was the one who was here, unlike Minho who didn’t even chase after you.
“Hyune?”
“Hmm?”
“A date with you sounds cool,” your silly smile returning. He couldn’t control his smile back, his eyes turning into thin lines as his upper lips disappears a little showing his white pearlys.
The man who broke your heart an hour ago long forgotten, in moments like this.
+
“You okay hyung?” Han asks, after observing Minho for the past hour just downing his drinks.
“Yeah.. Good.. I’m good.” Minho could barely reply, slurring on his words clearly intoxicated.
“What happened in the bathroom? What did you do to her?” Han was worried about you both. He still doesn't understand what you did to get Minho to push you away like that, especially when Minho would used to reschedule his plans with Han and their friend group just to be with you. It was clear to Han that you guys had something going on. Minho wasn’t much of a drinker too but seeing him suddenly finish all these drinks made Han sense something was up.
“Nothing, I just.. Nothing just shooed her away like usual,” Minho replied, acting uninterested in the conversation.
“Marks on your neck tells me otherwise,” Han replied back, eyeing up at his hyung. Minho doesn’t reply, instead he stays quiet, one hand coming into contact with the marks you left on his skin. His head is in a daze, the scene of you pressing kisses to his neck, how soft your plump lips felt, your tiny hands holding the back of his neck to keep him in place while the other was wrapped around his..
“Hyung? Hey hyung?” Han snaps the older man out of his thoughts, holding him by the shoulder trying to steady him. “She’s a good girl. If you don’t like her don’t do that to her.”
“She gave me the marks Jisung.. I didn’t do anything to her,” Minho huffed, trying to defend himself.
“Sure, it’s not like she didn’t walk out of the bathroom with marks herself,” Minho just rolls his eyes. “If you don’t like her like that, stop hurting her.”
“Looks like you also want to fuck her, seeing as how you’re talking about her-”
“-Just because I feel sorry for her doesn’t mean I want to fuck her, hyung. No girl should be treated like that,”
“Whatever,” Minho pushes the smaller boy’s arms off his shoulders making him stumble back a bit.
“See how you act? You’re a dick. How is it that every other girl gets let off easily when they admit they like you and when Y/N does it she gets yelled at?” Han was over his hyung’s antics, also fuming from the way he was pushed even though he was only trying to help him up.
“Last month you pushed her away then tonight you’re all over her again just because she’s with someone else. You’re so possessive. What did you do to her in the bathroom?!” Han has never called Minho out like this but the way Minho acted was very possessive. It was like he hates seeing other people interested or talk about things that was his. In this instance, you.
“I don’t know,” as much as he hates to admit it, your words engraved itself to his brain. He couldn’t come up with a reason why he treated you the way he did tonight or ever. Just the words I love you bouncing in his head, hitting every surface of his brain. Did he like you back? He’s not in-love with you right? Or was he just possessive over you? Did he want you to himself only? Minho was overwhelmed with his thoughts, unable to voice anything else, eyes just seeking some sort of help from the younger boy.
“You okay hyung?”
“No.”
+
A couple weeks go by and Minho catches himself thinking about you every second pf his day. He doesn’t know how to make it stop. He contacted so many girl just to ghost them before they meet up as he has this feeling of guilt. Not towards the girls, they don’t mean anything to him but guilt towards you. It was like he was doing something wrong to you. But you weren’t even his and he doesn’t even like you back. He has just be constantly in and out, and his friends aren’t any help either. Well to be fair, he’s only been keeping his thoughts to himself so it’s not really his friend’s fault. But you and Hyunjin has been the topic of the week, updates of where you guys went or what you guys did was brought up every single day in conversation.. well ofcourse it would, seeing as how Hyunjin and Minho shares mutual friends.
“You think he really likes her?” Felix asks the others.
“Yeah, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have come with her to the party the other week,” Chan clarified and they nod in agreement.
“Why wonder we haven’t seen him all of last month, he was with Y/N.”
Minho listens to the conversation, quietly contributing and attacking Hyunjin in his head. Yeah but she doesn’t like him. She clearly loves someone else.
“Wasn’t she one of your flings?” Chan’s question wakes Minho up.
“Hmm? Y/N?” Your name comes out more tender than expected from his lips. “I don’t remember,” Minho lies.
“Anyways, I reckon the photo he took of her from earlier this week was cute,” Seungmin says, the rest giggling like high school girls at their friends love life.
“Looks like the heartbreaker Hyunjin found someone he really likes.”
“And Y/N seems to really like him too,” Minho was furious, wanting to tell them what the reality was but even himself wasn’t sure if it was true anymore. Maybe you have fallen for Hyunjin. Maybe you have forgotten all about Minho now.
He looks to his side, watching Felix swipe through Hyunjin’s instagram story. It was the first time he saw you since. You were as pretty as ever. Hair in a half up half down look, in a black dress looking and smiling at Hyunjin’s camera.
Hyunjin had taken you out to one of his favourite bakery and art museum. He had told you to wear something pretty, and be ready by noon. You got dolled up, picking out your most gorgeous dress and by the time he promised, he messaged you to come outside. Hyunjin was lean up against his car, his camera strap across his body, a small bouquet in his hand. It was something you never experienced before, you couldn’t help but smile instantly at the sight. Oh how sweet he was, and definitely very handsome.
“You look like you can be very sweet, Y/N,” he playfully says before pulling you into a hug. You hold him back, arms wrapping around his body pressing your cheeks against his toned chest, staying there a little bit longer than you extended.
“Ready to go?” He asks, and you remove yourself.
“Mhmm, ready to go and ready to show you I can be sweet!” The conversation you had with yourself, a couple days ago still implanted in your head. You will give it a try with Hyunjin. He has always treated you well, despite his title he received from everyone, but a little part of you is afraid. Minho treated you well too, but turned his back on you the second you liked him. You were afraid you were going to fall for it again. Hyunjin could never make you fall for him then ditch you right? But to be honest, has Minho ever picked you up in broad day light like this? No. You guys would sneak around all the time, and was only ever relaxed in a closed off area - that being his house. Minho has never planned a date this. But did your heart wanted that more than this? A unlike tingling heavy feeling fallen in your chest, the feeling is different.
As Felix continues to tap his screen, more images of the date appears. You guys spend a while in the coffee shop just goofing around with each other, then at the art museum.. Oh the art museum.. countless photos of you standing infront of and looking at the art works makes Minho go red.
“Fuck-” Minho bites, fist forming into balls as he feels his blood boiling. Minho was angry now, he was jealous. He didn’t ever show you off like this and was mad someone was able to do.
“Gotta go, gotta go call Bella,” Minho walks out, everyone else looking around trying to seek a reason why he was acting like that.
+
It was dark and late, 9pm to be exact. Silence fill the air as you and Hyunjin both just sit in his car. You shyly glance over to him, unsure of what to do now, he just gives you a smile. You really enjoyed your day with him, it was fun and quite the romantic day. But do you invite him in now? Do you take it slow? What would you do if you invite him in anyways?
"I enjoyed today with you too Hyune," you break the silence. "I'm actually really tried from everything though" you lie, you needed to distant yourself for the rest of the night, to work out what you were feeling. You needed to take it slow. The tingling sensation before was still around you, a feeling you can't explain. "I think I might start ready for bed," you observe his reactions, but there is none. Just him keeping a small smile like earlier.
"We did so much today, I’m tired and ready for bed too," he agrees, one hand reaches over to hold yours. He was so soft, it's like he knows the barrier you had set up. He doesn't questions it and just lets it be.
"Thank you Hyune," you reply, twisting your wrist so your fingers can interlock with his now, giving him some sort of affirmation. You lean in towards him and ahe air grows a bit cold now. You had to do it, to show your gratitude. You continue to move in, giving him a peck to his cheeks. Hyunjin freezes in return, the sudden affection makes him flustered. "Goodnight Hyune." You retracted back your hand, collecting your stuff, along with your nice bouquet of flowers and exiting his car.
It was clear to Hyunjin after the peck that he liked you. He really liked you but he was still unsure of where your feelings stands. Regardless, he wanted to keep trying with you.
+
You were in the middle of the dance floor, to the grand party that Hyunjin asked you to be his date at. Well technically, you were invited by Minho's mum but you can't turn down a cute date with Hyunjin.
“Where are you?” You ask on the phone, eyes searching for a lost Hyunjin. He has disappeared from your sight so suddenly after you guys had spend a hour of drinking the free wine.
“At the table we were before," you can hear him slurring on his words, unable to keep your giggles in at how tipsy he is.
“Okay, coming! Stay where you are," as you turn around someone pulls you back, making you stumble a bit forward into them.
“Can I talk to you?” You encounter a familiar face. Minho was standing in front of you, his hand gripping your wrist not painfully but strong enough for you not to pull back. Your eyes scan his face. He looked so different. He had his hair down covering his forehead, something he never wears out in public. His eyes were coated with a thin cover of gloss, almost looks like he had been draining in his emotions for the longest time ever. Minho looked so soft, you were taken back.
“I gotta go. Hyune’s waiting for me,” you reply trying to pull away from him. You needed to avoid Minho, unsure why but you had too.
“Hyune?”
“Yes, Hyune,” you managed to escape and walked off, only because he loosen his grip. Minho was left on the middle of the dance floor, watching you make your way through the crowd.
“Hyune?” He whispers to himself, confused. A nickname already? Maybe the boys were right.
You don’t know why but a sudden urge to spin around got the best of you.
“Hey Min!” The nickname makes him instantly turn around but he knows it wasn’t going to be you standing there, so he prepared himself for whoever was there.
“Hey, I was looking for you,” he lied to the gorgeous woman infront of him, Bella.
You watch as Minho smile at her, his hand coming in contact with her cheek. You spun around again, not wanting to watch any more of what he got up to, going back to Hyunjin.
+
The music was blaring now and you feel yourself getting light headed from the countless shots and mimosas you consumed. You lean into Hyunjin’s chest, wanting to stay still for a minute to regain control of your body.
Minho doesn't know how he got here but there he stood a couple steps infront of you, watching you with Hyunjin. He has Bella in-front of him holding his hands as she sways to the music, seeking for his attention.
“Hey, I’m losing you here Y/N,” Hyunjin laughs, although him himself was feeling the same thing. He had to control it, he couldn’t let you both loose to alcohol.
“I’m so tired Hyune,” you replied, unable to move your head from his upper chest.
“You wanna go sit down?” He asked, hands coming to your waist to help hold you up. The small contact with your body makes you widen your eyes. You steady yourself back on your heels as you make eye contact with the sweet boy in front you. Your eyes catch his lips for a second, they were so plump, so full and the perfect shade of pink, almost a reddish. A thought ran through your head and you feel guilty about it but you wanted to do it. You want to feel his lips on yours to confirm that feeling that keeps staying around in your chest. His eyes flutter from your eyes to your lips. You looked so pretty like this, your cheeks was pink, eyes looks so bright and full, you were so kissable. Hyunjin slowly leans in, one had holding your face and when he doesn’t see a signal of you avoiding it, he closes the gap between your lips.
Minho’s heart sinks watching Hyunjin kiss you. He has always been possessive of you, hating when your attention is on another person. He has always been annoyed, always been angry but right now, he feels broken, he feels hurt. He didn’t come here with Bella because he liked her. He came here with Bella because he wanted to use her as a distraction. He wanted to use her to get over you. He doesn’t realise it until now, after witnessing the kiss, that since the night you confessed your feelings to him, he felt the same. He felt the same but he was too afraid to say it, to show it. Liking someone was overwhelming, let alone loving someone. Minho was just afraid.
The feeling doesn’t go away, it’s heavy it’s numbing your body. You pull away from Hyunjin’s lips, hands on his chest to help you detach. You can’t keep his eye contact, letting out a heavy breath.
“Hyune, I..” you look up over his shoulder and catches Minho eyes as he towers over Bella. Minho stops to observe you, observing your next move. For a second the world stops, everyone’s face was blurred, the music goes from blaring loud to a long beep, something you hear when your brain restarts similar to the sound in movies when the main character watches someone close to them die. It was only you and Minho.
Part 2 was was like a filler, I know.
{Tag list 🏷️@20minsat180dgegrees @feybin @whosanaanyway @k0nst3nceee @hoes4lino @ihatewritingshit @armystay89 @redstayrosie @captainchrisstan }
562 notes
·
View notes
Text
( 📁 kiss marks. by lee taeyong ＿ ⭐ O1O1 )
where taeyong prefers to smoke away from you, but when that happens, you should always make it clear that he is not alone.
𓍯 . ݁ ✦ ݁ . ─── pairing. lee taeyong x fem!reader. genre. fluff, established relationship and many many kisses. warnings. none i believe.
lily notes. this is my first one shot, and i really hope you like it! soon a little more. <3
you and taeyong had decided that after a long time, many comebacks and promotions, it would be a good idea to go shopping, go for some things that were needed and others on a whim.
but no matter what, taeyong valued that quality time with you because it was what he missed the most when he was at the company. your touch, your body heat, your aroma, your everything. you were what he was missing.
and as you walked the streets of seoul looking for somewhere to spend more money, he couldn't help but look for what he had missed the most. he had his entire arm around your waist, with his waist pressed against yours while his head rested on yours, occasionally smelling the scent of your hair.
it made you laugh when you heard him take a deep breath or when he pressed you closer to him, but that was who he was, that was your, forever, taeyong.
you could see in the distance a store that particularly caught your attention, you were not a big fan of sanrio or hello kitty, but it was especially so beautiful, that it was pleasant to the eye.
"bubu" you called him by his nickname, he turned his head immediately at your call, looking at you with his beautiful big brown eyes before saying, "yes, my love?"
you appreciated him for a few seconds, before pointing to the store that had taken your attention. "i want to go there," you told him.
he can't help but smile a little before nodding, "as you wish, my love," he kissed your head and continued walking. he didn't know that you were a big fan of hello kitty and all that stuff, but clearly, from now on he would take it into account.
when you were close and almost about to enter, taeyong stopped and moved away from you, allowing you to feel the absence of his warmth. you turned when you felt him walk away, looking at him confused.
"where are you going, bubu?" you asked as you watched him pull something out of his pocket. "i want to smoke a little, my love. go inside, i'll watch you from here." he replied, putting the cigarette in his mouth.
"you are really crazy if you think i will leave my beautiful boyfriend alone" you approached him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he laughed.
taeyong did the same, now rocking with you in his arms and as you lifted your head, he let his forehead rest against yours. your nose was as red as the reindeer's, so in the middle of that love attack, he rubbed his nose against yours.
"someone is going to try to steal it from me!" you said, kissing him lightly on his lips. you heard a sigh come from deep in his chest, you laughed and placed another kiss on his lips.
"no one is going to steal me from you, i am as much yours as you are mine" he told you, tightening his grip on your waist as he was now the one kissing you; taeyong's kisses were different, deep and full of love, that was one of his thousand ways to show how big his love for you was.
when the kiss ended, and they became small and momentary kisses, you nodded "i'm glad to hear that."
you let your arms wander over his waist, chest, arms and shoulders, as if your movements intoxicated the man. your cold hands reached the sides of his face, you rubbed your nose and fingers at the same time as he closed his eyes and sighed.
you guided his cheek to your lips, where you left a loud, long, moving kiss, wanting to leave your lips marked there. then, you went for his jaw, and he could swear he would melt under your touch.
you left one, two, three, probably four kisses, taeyong had already lost count from the second.
and when you were done there, you left one on his nose and finally, on his lips.
you moved a little away from his face, observing your work of art, taeyong was your canvas that you could always paint, especially with the marks of your kisses.
“perfect” you said, taeyong opened his eyes, smiling at the image of your figure, smiling at his face full of red kisses as you continued caressing his face with your thumbs.
he take the opportunity to take your hand and kiss your palm, loosening his grip a little. "i love this process so much" he said in a breath, his hot breath hitting your hand.
you laughed "i know, bubu" you walked over and stole a kiss from him, quickly walking away to enter the store.
when you entered the store, you looked at him, bringing the lit cigarette closer to his red lips, leaving the cigar marked when it touched his lips.
a red mark.
like his whole face. from his jaw to his nose. his eyes did not stop looking at you with a smile on his lips.
he really loved when you did that.
© LAVANDIORS | do not copy, translate or steal my works.
#lavandiors ♥︎ ࣪ ִֶָ ⋆#nct 127#nct x reader#nct 127 x you#nct 127 x reader#taeyong x reader#taeyong#taeyong x you#nct 127 fake texts#nct dream fake texts#nct fake texts#taeyong fake texts#taeyong x y/n#nct imagines#nct 127 imagines#nct one shots#nct 127 oneshot#nct oneshot#nct taeyong#lee taeyong
550 notes
·
View notes
Text
"my girl is mad at me. i hope i die."
mark lee x fem!reader
genre: straight smut, no plot, just thirsty for mark vibes, continuation of a previous text post for (some. unnecessary) context, minors dni or i'll tell your mum
word count: 1,751
"Nah... please continue all the shit you were talking earlier" Mark's breath was hot and it tickled your skin. The hair on your neck stood up. Your mind vibrated with synapses firing crazy, making you weak and wet to his touch. He latched on to your neck with his mouth. "I'm sorry... let me make it up to you" Mark coo'd into your skin and you closed your eyes, unable to speak. "Can I?" He slipped a finger inside you, making gasp. You could feel his ring around his finger, adding to your pleasure. "Mm?" Eyebrows raised, he looked at you with doe eyes from your peripheral . "Use your words baby, I wanna hear your pretty little voice."
"Yes.." You whisper as you breathe out, barely audible.
He spun you around, taking his finger out of you and putting it in his mouth. Lightly sucking on it, he took it out and guided it in gently, in your mouth. "Love how you taste. Can I make you feel good?" Forehead pressing to yours, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. Mark had a way of making you feel calm and drown out the world with just one look. All you could do was nod, absolutely entranced by his eyes. A drooling mess. You just wanted to so good for him.
Slowly leading you to bed, he laid you down at the edge. Undressing you softly, Mark kissed down your body. "My pretty baby" He coo'd.
He placed another, damp kiss. "You're so important to me."
"All of this means nothing, if I can't share it with you." He dipped his tongue into your navel, making you squirm.
"God, I love having you like this. So weak.. under me.." Leaving kisses in between your inner thighs, he hovered over your core. His breath fanning over your sex. "Such a pretty pussy baby.. so shiny.. lemme show you how sorry I am" He wrapped his arms around your hips to pull you close and you, getting impatient. Grabbed his hair and pushed his head down.
Mark wasted no time, going straight for your clit. He placed his tongue flat against it, curling up the tip as he sucked on your bundle of nerves. After being together for some time now, you both have learned each others body's pretty well. Mark knew exactly what he had to do to get you to become undone. He peeked up at you to check your reaction before he placed two fingers inside you once again. Slowly building a rhythm, Mark could feel himself get lost in you. Humming, sending vibrations as his fingers worked against the spot inside you.
"mmm hear that baby? listen to how wet you are.. am I making you feel good?" The room was filled with the obscene sounds of your soaking core and moans.
You nodded your head, obediently "Uh huh"
"My favourite sound.. I been thinking about this all day baby" You felt a knot, forming in the bottom of your stomach. Your thighs constricted around his head and he enjoyed every second of it.
"I'm gonn-"
Before you could finish your sentence, Mark looks up at you with a smirk, face perfectly drenched in your wet, glistening. "Yeah? Breathe baby.. Deep breaths for me, cum for me." his fingers picked up the pace a little and he went back to sucking on your clit. You felt your body get hotter, breath heavier and your eyes shut tight. Energy travelling up from your root, to your sacral.. you were close. You were gonna snap. Your thighs started to shake and your grip on his hair got tighter. Mark pushed his face into your pussy, moving side to side as your moans gradually got louder and the coil of energy inside you snapped. Your hips thrusted back into his face and Mark matched your rhythm. Refusing to let you go, he kept going, making you see stars, letting you ride out your high.
His grip softened on your hip once you were done. His big calloused hands rubbed your hips up and down cooing, "You still mad?" Mark licked his lips, using his other hand to help him up off the floor. He lightly smacked your ass, getting between your legs. He freed himself of clothing. Fucking into his fist a couple times, he aligned himself with your entrance.
Your left leg went up in the air as you placed your foot on his chest, lightly pushing him away. "Nope" you said, popping the "P" sound. You got up and pushed Mark on the bed, now switching the roles. You crawled over him, straddling him. "Still mad."
"Babyyyyyyyy" Mark whined, squeezing your thigh, letting you know he needs you.
"No. You actually don't deserve to cum." You move, rubbing yourself on his dick. He hissed from the contact but continuing to dig his fingers into your flesh. He enjoyed marking you.
"Ah!" He puts his right hand to his chest and faked getting hurt. "My girl is mad at me. I hope I die." He announced, making you both laugh and you grabbed him from under you. Stroking his length, painfully slow, you stuck your tongue out to drop some spit onto the head of his dick, watching the spit trickle down his length. You both watch in anticipation of your next move and you sluggishly work his length.
"Babyyyy.." he let out a big sigh. "You're driving my crazy" he moved his hair out of his face. "I'll be good for you, please." He pleaded.
Tracing your fingers over his head, you made his body shiver to your touch. "Ok.. Ok.. That was funny. Maybe I'm changing my mind.." You lift yourself up and align Mark with your entrance, once again. You feel him twitch under you and you laugh, at his desperation. "Not so soon" you whisper, bringing your hand up to his jaw to hold it.
Using your tongue, you opened his mouth to give him the sloppiest kiss of all time. A mix of your spit falling down his torso, made you almost give in but you had to be strong. You had to get him back. You slowly sunk down onto his tip, making him squeeze onto your thighs once again. "Please" Mark shuddered at your action. "Need to feel you." He begged, now growing distressed by the minute. You once again, moved yourself up and off him, leaving him cursing under his breath and sulking. "Y/N are you trying to kill m-" mid-sentence, you sunk down, one more time. Sooner than expected, taking all of him in which made him throw his head back and let out a moan.
His pleasure is soon short lifted though as he realised that he was now inside you but you refused to move. He lifts his head up to look at you, to silently scream through his eyes, hoping you would get the hint and move. "Oh, hi! Can I help you?" You teased him, pecking his nose. "So.." You begin and he groaned. "What did you eat today?"
"Well, I had this sandwi-" mid-sentence, you moved again. Mark's breath got caught in his throat and he cursed himself for falling for it again. You continued to sink down and then back up at an excruciating speed. Your warmth inviting him in, making him roll his eyes.
"Yeah?... What was in it?" You continued to ask him questions, casually and as he described his sandwich. Your movements got harder and so did his grip on your hips.
"A..nd some lettuce" he let out an airy moan, bringing you to an hault yet again.
Mark was becoming a sweaty wreck by the minute and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He felt dizzy, as if he was going to pass out if he didn't get to fuck you.
He let out a deep breath by making a pout with his swollen lips before transitioning into the the smuggest smile on planet earth. "You know what.. f u c k t h i s" He moved closer to you and stretched out his words.
Before you could even process what's happening, Mark had you pinned under him with hands above your head as he pounded into you. He had been getting so worked up that he bottomed out instantly, making you clench around him from the shock. Mark groaned into your mouth, as you did the same. He held down your hands with his right hand, whilst he brought his left to your throat for the second time. His eyes now, looked glazed over knowing he has you at his mercy. Nothing mattered in the world right now. It was just you and Mark. Unable to differentiate where his hair ended and your's began, bodies and skin intertwined with one another. He melted into you.
Mark let go of your hands, giving you the freedom to wrap your arms around him as he pushed back your legs, propping them up on his shoulders. "God, y/n, you're so wet" he scrunched up his face as moans and curses rolled off both of your tongues. He was mesmerised by the way his body affected yours. How he could make you feel and how you good you felt around. As the universe felt like it was caving into you both, in the best way possible. Mark put his lips to yours, sloppily kissing your tongue as if his whole life depended on it. His movements became more focused and you felt him twitch inside you, pushing you closer to your orgasm too. "I can feel you baby.. jesus.. you feel.. so good. cum with me y/n." He let out an airy sentence, before you felt him throb inside you. Both of your moans grew louder and your legs shook once again. You both reached climax together and Mark let your legs go, as he fell onto you, face in your neck. Trying to catch his breath.
"Remind me to fuck up my schedule more often please." He teased and you playfully punched his arm. "But, honestly baby.. I am sorry. Won't happen again." He pecked your lips once last time, before settling into your chest and in your embrace.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
heads up: mark calls reader 'bro' but readers gender is never stated/this is still gn!reader, mark is just being mark
"okay... like, don't freak out, but..."
mark's voice is quiet over your phone's speaker, and you think it's because it's almost one in the morning right now. he has roommates, you (luckily) don't, hence why you can talk relatively normally compared to mark's hushed whispers. this isn't the first time he's said something like this, your best friend always dragging you into something crazy or dumb or both. but this time he hesitates a little.
either this is really stupid or he's actually nervous.
"what if..." a pause. you can hear his lips smack together as he licks them nervously. you've seen him do it enough times when he's around you, and it's always punctuated by you rolling your eyes and digging into your pockets for the second stick of chapstick labeled MARK'S that you carry for him. "what if..."
"you're killing me, lee." and maybe he is, but you don't mind. not if it's mark.
"what if..." he pauses yet again, and he really is trying to kill you, isn't he? "we, like... we kissed?"
you jolt up out of bed, immediately looking at your phone. "what?"
"haha, yeah, it's stupid. anyway, what if we go fuck around the aquarium again? you can point at the ugly fish and say they're me if you want--"
your mind is racing. what if we kissed? what--where did--huh? when did he...? he's still rambling about the aquarium as he's recounting all the shit you did the last time you went. you'd been caught staring at him and pretended you were looking at the fish right behind his head--saying the dorky little thing reminded you of mark. and maybe, in a way, it did, but...
"hey, mark?" you speak up after a moment. when did your voice become so small? so shy? "i'm going to the park."
"bro, it's like--it's one in the morning."
you're already getting out of bed, pulling on sweatpants. "then i guess it'd be nice if i had someone to meet me there."
"what, like johnny--ohhh." and you wonder if he's smiling now. you think you hear it in his voice when he speaks again: "yeah. i'll meet you there."
#nonranghaes.thoughts#nct x reader#nct x you#nct x y/n#mark lee x reader#mark lee x y/n#mark lee x you#mark lee fluff#nct fluff#nonranghaes.nct
340 notes
·
View notes
Text
Irrevocably [ZCL] (M)
Description: You were friends with benefits with Chenle until he got a girlfriend...fast forward months later, and now they've broken up--leaving Chenle to come back to you, very much in need of a distraction.
DID YOU MISS ME?! It's been so long someone should chop my hands off omg
Genre: Smut. Angst. Read at your own discretion!!! Read the warnings first please! It's mostly smut tho tbh
Also it's not proofread or anything crazy like that but I do hope y'all like it...I've been so busy sos
Content Warnings: Explicit, rough, unprotected sex (don't do the unprotected part), Chenle says pretty girl again (not sorry) and also slut because duality (again?), overstimulation, multiple orgasms (both), cum eating (like he actually eats his...own cum...), he's pretty pussy drunk in this he cums twice, Chenle is manipulative as hell in this!!! he is not a good guy in this fic!!! Do not read if you don't like it!!!!! Also I'm not sure if this can be considered infidelity but if you're sensitive to that topic read with caution!
Word Count: 4,877
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (mentions of Mark Lee x Reader)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Juliet's Masterlist | Requests
You can’t even say you haven’t heard from him in a while. That’s far from the truth—and in your opinion, maybe you hear from him too often. Your friendship was constructed long before any other aspect, but for as long as you could remember, it’s been you and Chenle.
Now there’s you, and there’s him. Inherently separate.
Your situation with him was simple—friends with benefits. And everything was working great at first, and the end wasn’t traumatic and the world didn’t crumble. You weren’t in love with each other, and you both mutually understood that the second someone has the potential to become more in one of your lives that you’d stop immediately.
So, when Chenle started talking to his now girlfriend, you did the right thing. The respectful thing. You backed off, and you wouldn’t say you regret it. He’s happy—happier than he was before, and that’s all you want for him. You’ve been friends for forever, after all, and what would that make you if you had ill wishes for him?
It was three months after he started dating his girlfriend that he introduced you to one of his friends, Mark. Fortunately, you got along with him well, and he gave you a much needed distraction from the empty void Chenle had left in your life. He’d been more than sex, but less than love. He gave you company and companionship, even if it was in an unconventional way.
You’d been up front and honest with Mark about your relationship with Chenle, but he didn’t mind as long as you were sure there hadn’t been feelings involved. For Chenle, you weren’t sure if he ever told his girlfriend about you. You wouldn’t blame him if he hadn’t, but considering you’d been sleeping together up until their first date, it might have been a good thing to mention.
The difference was simple—you and Mark weren’t anything, not really, but Chenle and his girlfriend were, in their words, serious. In fact, in the past four months, you hadn’t even slept with Mark. The most he was at this point was someone to keep you company.
And then everything blew up.
Chenle called you at 9 p.m., almost nine months after he started dating his girlfriend. You were in your apartment by yourself, watching the same TV show for the 70th time. You stare at your phone screen in confusion before you answer it.
“Hey,”
“Hey.” He lets out a breath, and the defeat in his voice hints something’s wrong.
“Everything okay?” you ask him, sitting up on your couch.
“We broke up.” Chenle pauses, maybe to contemplate what he says next. “Can I come see you? I know it’s random, and I probably shouldn’t, but to be bluntly fucking honest, I’ve missed you.”
“We talk all the time,” you mention and cradle your knees to your chest.
The thought of allowing Chenle here so late scares you—old habits die hard. You feel like you owe more than that to both Mark and Chenle. Mark, because while you two aren’t together, you’ve grown quite close over the past few months. Chenle, because he’s probably not thinking straight at the moment.
“You’re the only one I can talk to about this,” he mumbles.
Your heart sinks. “It was because of me?”
“I…Not exactly. It wasn’t you at all. It was us. And it was me for not saying anything.” He sighs, and you envision the way he tugs his fingers through his hair.
“You never told her?”
“I didn’t think I needed to,” he says. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Oh, hey, by the way, I used to fuck one of my closest friends on the regular, but now that you’re here, I stopped.’ That doesn’t sound great.”
“Better than her finding out some other way.” You chew on your bottom lip. “I told Mark.”
“That’s different,” Chenle replies. “You’re not dating Mark.”
A moment of silence passes between you two, and when you don’t respond, he clears his throat.
“Oh. You are.”
“It’s not like that.”
“So, what is it like? Is it like what we were?” He sounds shorter, as if he’s no longer enjoying the conversation.
You scoff. “It’s none of your business, Chenle. Mark is nice. And you’re the one who introduced us anyway.”
“Mark is nice,” he repeats, snorting. “You act like I don’t know you. Nice isn’t exactly your type.”
“You can come here if you stop being a dick,” you tell him. “But we’re only talking.”
“Good. I’ve got a lot to say.”
You debate changing after he hangs up, but Chenle’s already seen you at your worst. Your shorts and T-shirt won’t faze him in the slightest. Nerves like this haven’t swarmed you since the first time you slept with him. Clearly, your body doesn’t get the memo that this isn’t a booty call.
And when he arrives, you realize how well he fits. The dim, golden lighting reflecting off of his skin, the dark, oversized clothes he likes to wear, the way his hair is parted. Everything about him is exactly as you remember. It’s odd to think that way, because really, you’ve seen him as often as you used to. Things were just…different.
And under these circumstances, it’s awkward. But even when he was dating his girlfriend, there were times where the two of you were alone—nothing ever happened, of course, but it hadn’t ever been so nerve wracking until now.
It isn’t for long, though. Within seconds of your thoughts running wild, he’s closing the distance between you and pulling you into a tight hug. You exhale in relief and return the gesture with no hesitation. He takes a deep breath, almost as if he’s inhaling your scent.
Something about this hurts. Your ribcage suddenly feels like a prison, and all you want is for your heart to be free. Why does it feel like something’s stabbing it?
“I’m sorry for asking to come over so late,” he whispers. “And for being a dick about Mark. It’s not my business.”
There’s a twist deep in your chest. You wonder if there’s truly anything left in there.
“It’s okay, Le.” Your voice is muffled by his shirt. “Let’s sit and you can tell me what happened.”
You move away from him, lightly grabbing his hand to lead him over to your couch. When you’re both seated, he rests his head on your shoulder. You reach up to play with his hair, and instinct you became familiar with when he needed comfort back when you two were messing around.
“She asked about you.” His fingers toy with yours, warm touch gently grazing your skin. “Really, I had no idea what to say. There isn’t much to say, you know? So, that’s what I said. I told her we’ve been friends for forever and…that’s it.”
“Technically not wrong.” You chuckle, but the ache within you only grows.
“I went to shower and when I got out, she was going through my phone. By the time I realized what she was doing, she’d already found more than enough to be pissed.”
“What was it?”
“Pictures. In our text conversations from like…almost a year ago. I get why she was upset, you know? But it’s not like they were recent. Or even in my camera roll, for fuck’s sake.” He shuffles a bit closer, his warmth pressing into you. “But I should’ve checked and made sure. Or something. So, I’m sorry someone else saw those, (Y/N).”
“Did I look good at least?” you joke.
“Oh, fuck off.” He laughs, shaking his head. “You always look good and you know it.”
You get a sudden, overwhelming urge to look at him. His words make your stomach turn, and you’re desperate to figure out what the hell is going on with you.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He ponders for a moment. “I thought I’d be a little more upset, but the only thing I was really thinking about was coming to see you.”
Chenle sits up, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he takes you in. His gentle brown eyes trail over you, unrecognizable emotions swimming around in his irises. You find him still as extraordinary as ever. His features so sharp, lips perfectly full. You fight the craving to reach out and trace his jawline.
“It’s just…” he murmurs. “It just always comes back to you, doesn’t it?”
“Chenle…”
“It’s been so long,” he continues. “Since I’ve seen you like this.”
“We hung out all the time.”
“No. Not like this. I know why you did, but you got so distant from me. Didn’t you ever think about me? That whole time?” He wets his lips.
“How could you ask me that?” you breathe out. “I thought about you all the time, but you weren’t mine to think about.”
“When I thought of you, it used to hurt. I used to have to distract myself from you because it was wrong to want you when I had everything else.” His gaze flicks down to your lips, and you feel every ounce of you crumble to pieces.
“It’s not…wrong anymore,” you say.
His eyes flutter shut, eyelashes brushing against his cheeks, and the next thing you know, his mouth is on yours. You let out a shaky breath against him, but quickly reciprocate what he gives you. All hesitation is out the window now, all thoughts of him being too upset at a moment like this fly from your brain.
It’s Chenle. He’s kissing you. This is familiar. Right, even.
“God, it’s been too long.” He reaches up to cup your cheek, thumb rubbing your skin. “Need you, baby. Never wanna lose you like that again.”
Your heart is beating so fast, you’re not exactly sure how to respond to that. The longer you take in every word leaving his mouth, the quicker you realize what’s happening to you.
You haven’t slept with Mark because you do have feelings for Chenle. It hits you like a freight train, and the fear sinks in only for a second before you slam your lips back to his. Being with him like this feels good, like nothing could go wrong.
The quietest moan slips from his mouth into yours, and just like it used to, heat floods your core. His hand slips beneath your shirt, his scalding touch trailing across your side before settling on the small of your back.
You pull away from him and gently push against his chest. “Do you even know what you’re doing right now?”
“Need a distraction.” He swallows hard. “That’s what we are for each other right? She’s out of the picture, so I get to have you again?”
You shake your head. “Only when we’re both available. Not just you.”
“Did you fuck him?” Chenle tone drops, a dark hint of jealousy gracing those narrowed brown eyes. One of his hands drops down to your thigh, tracing along the hem of your shorts. “Is that why you don’t want me anymore? He’s better or something?”
You let out a shaky breath. “I—Chenle, I haven’t.”
Wetting his lips, his touch trails higher, his skin burning against yours in the best way. “Don’t you miss me? Or at least the way I made you feel? When’s the last time someone made you cum?”
He notices when your legs press together, desperate for any sort of friction between them. You’re fighting every urge you have, wanting nothing more than to have Chenle right here on your couch, but something holds you back.
Leaning closer, he hums lowly in your ear, “You know what I can do.” His lips press against the spot below your ear, slowly heading down until his tongue runs along your pulse.
“Damn it,” you groan, pushing him back. “Take your pants off.”
As you stand up to push your shorts and panties to the floor, he lifts his hips to push his sweats to down his legs. He reaches into his boxers and strokes himself slowly.
“C’mon, baby.” He smirks at you. “Sit on it.”
You straddle his lap, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he pulls his cock out. One hand grips your hip and he holds you above him.
“Do we need a condom?” he asks, gaze glazed with want.
“I haven’t slept with anyone,” you mutter, face heating up for more reasons than one.
“It was just…” he trails off and gulps. “You know. I’m clean.”
The idea of him with her is almost enough to snap you out of it, but the last thing you plan on doing is getting off his lap. You ignore the sting of your heart and instead trade it for the sting of your walls stretching to accommodate Chenle with no prep. Whining at the pain, you stop after a couple inches.
“S’okay, baby,” he encourages you. “Take it slow.”
You dig your nails into his shoulders, lifting up before sinking back down to take a bit more of him than the last time. He breathes heavily, biting down on his bottom lip while his chest heaves.
“Just a little more.” Chenle slowly pulls you closer until he’s fully seated inside you.
The stretch has your legs shaking, whimpers escaping you as he whispers praises to you.
“Such a good girl,” he coos. “Letting me fill this pretty pussy with my cock.”
Chenle tugs your shirt over your head, freeing your bare breasts. He lets out a small sound at the sight before leaning down to kiss them, teeth nipping and tongue flicking your nipple.
Unable to hold back anymore, you push him back harshly. His lips part as you grind, sweet moans escaping him at the same time yours do.
“So tight,” he groans. “You waited ‘cause you knew no one else could do this to you, huh?”
“Shut up,” you command him.
His eyebrows raise for the briefest moment, until you start bouncing on his cock. Wetness starts squelching around the two of you, aiding you in your quick movements on top of him.
“Yeah, that’s it, baby.” Chenle thrusts up to match you, hands trailing around your body to squeeze your ass harshly. A slap comes next, the sound resounding through the room.
Your hips jolt, thrown off your rhythm at the stinging sensation on your skin. Nails leaving angry, red crescent moons in his skin, you rock back and forth to stabilize yourself before continuing. The sound of your arousal would embarrass you under any other circumstances, but the fucked out expression on Chenle’s face is enough to keep you going.
You don’t hold back your moans, letting the needs of your body take over instead of whatever the hell is going on in your head. He feels so fucking good inside you, the rough slide of his length against your walls, the way he throbs with want for you. The twitch of his cock inside you has a knot tightening in your stomach.
“Look at me,” he says roughly.
You don’t bother listening, too focused on your own pleasure to justify stopping.
“I said fucking look at me.” He grabs your face, pulling you close so you're inches away from him, hooded, hazy brown eyes devouring you. “Keep fucking yourself on my cock.”
You let out a weak moan, legs aching as you continue, but you know you need more. Trying to grind down, you do whatever you can to get friction on your clit. Whines slip past your lips, with the mind-shattering high just out of reach.
“Use your words, pretty girl.” Chenle slaps your ass again.
“Close,” you practically whimper. “Touch me. Fuck, please.”
Immediately, he lets go of his harsh grip on your cheeks, reaching between you two and quickly finding your clit. Your nails scratch down his shoulders, leaving marks as his fast circles push you over the edge.
You scream out in pleasure, your vision blacking out as you’re swept up in your climax. Crumpling into him, you squirm on top of him until he wraps his arm around your waist, warm seed coating your insides.
His chest heaves, lips parting as he rests his head back on the couch cushion. He gulps and strokes your hair while still slowly rocking up into you. You finally work up the energy to get off of him, but he holds you down.
“No,” he murmurs, breathless. “Not yet. Not done.”
Your body heats all over again, the idea of another round sends tingle down your spine. Goosebumps form on your skin, but you listen. Something has to make up for the lost time between you two.
“Need you again.” He nips where your neck and shoulder connects. “Can I take you to your room?”
You nod, unable to speak. He lifts you deftly from the couch, carefully walking over to your room like he’s done hundreds of times before. You hold onto him desperately, never wanting to let him go for more reasons than one.
As soon as you’re both on your bed, he’s already beginning to thrust again. You dig your nails into his back, but he grabs both of your wrists and pins them above your head.
“Be good,” he warns, filling you up over and over, ever so slowly. “Little pussy’s so greedy, sucking me in like this.”
Your eyes roll back in your head, the weight of him on top of you making you whine until your throat’s raw.
Every nerve-ending is on edge from your previous high, skin tingling and burning wherever his fingers trace shapes on you. You can barely keep your eyes open, the gentle brush of his chest against yours has your weak-minded state reading into this much more than you should.
If you could form actual words, you’d probably accidentally confess to him. He works through his own overstimulation, his jaw clenched tightly as he works your body expertly.
“I missed you,” he whispers, dipping his head down to nip along your neck. “Did you miss me?”
“Yes,” you force out, barely able to muster up the words. “God, yes.”
He hums, tonguing along the pulse in your neck. “You didn’t fuck him ‘cause he can’t make you feel like this, can he?”
You want to be mad at him for bringing Mark up at a time like this, but his words only make you shiver. He’s right. You can’t be mad at him when he’s right, and certainly not when your brain is fuzzy with the pleasure of his cock rubbing so, so slowly against your inner walls. Nobody could ever fill you like Chenle does.
“Answer me.” He thrusts particularly hard, jolting you up the mattress.
“Fuck, he can’t make me feel like you do.” You’re not entirely sure if your words are coherent, but Chenle seems satisfied by what you said.
“And you’d better remember that, too.” He releases your wrists and reaches between you two, resuming circles on your clit. “Could fuck you all night. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Getting your cunt filled with my cum as many times as you can handle?”
You wrap your legs around his waist in a desperate attempt to keep him close, the angle allowing him slightly deeper inside you. Between the delicious stretch of your walls and the uniform, skilled rubbing on your sensitive bud, your body shudders uncontrollably. Your back arches and your hands fly to his hair, loud, obscene moans pouring from your lips.
Chenle’s thrusts pick up as he helps you ride out your high, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to keep his steady pace. He slows to a stop, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead, he kisses you, tongue already slipping past your lips to dominate your mouth the same way he’s dominated the rest of you.
“Think you can get on all fours for me?” he asks, his breath fanning across your face.
“Again?”
“Please, baby, I’m close already, just need a little more.” He presses kisses on your cheeks and the tip of your nose. “I need it so bad.”
You nod, shakily removing your legs from around his waist. He guides you to the position he wants, your head resting on the mattress as he squeezes your ass.
“You’re still so fucking wet,” he groans, a slap resonating around the room. “Might wanna hold on, pretty girl. I’m not going easy on you.”
Despite being an absolute rag doll, you clench in excitement at the idea of having him inside you again. You push back toward him, urging him to fuck you. He uses his knee to nudge your legs apart, and even though they’re shaking, you plan on letting him pound into you until they fucking give out.
He runs the head up and down your folds, switching between barely pushing his tip inside and tapping it on your clit.
“God, I can’t fucking take this anymore,” Chenle growls, and the next thing you know, he’s thrusting inside you with as much force as he can. You scream, gripping onto the sheets and biting down on a pillow to attempt to silence yourself.
With all the stimulation, you feel constantly on the edge of another orgasm. His hips slap against your ass, the clapping sounds emphasizing your pleasure. Squelches of wetness float around too, the stickiness dripping down your thighs onto the bed the longer he has you in this position.
He shifts slightly so his balls smack your twitching clit with every thrust. You’re barely able to think straight, and you’re half-sure you’re drooling, but Chenle slams you into your third orgasm of the night rather easily. Your legs threaten to buckle, and he loops his arm around you to keep you up.
After a couple more thrusts, he moans loudly and spills deep inside you, chest heaving at the effort. Both of you wait in silence for a few moments, him to regain composure and you to remember how to breathe. He gently pulls out of you, turning you to drop your back down on the mattress. Once he gets out of bed, he stops in front of you and pulls you to the edge by your ankles. Nudging your legs apart, he sinks down to his knees.
“What are you doing?” you ask, rising up to your shaky elbows.
“Need a taste,” he says, mesmerized by the mess leaking out of your entrance. Swiping some of it up on his finger, he offers it to you. “Taste us, pretty girl. We’re so good together.”
You lean closer and wrap your lips around him, giving a harsh suck before you release him.
“God, baby, your pussy is so perfect when you’re leaking my cum.”
You’re not expecting him to move forward and flatten his tongue against your core. He holds your hips down to the bed, tentatively licking your slit. Without much effort from him, he’s reduced you to a mewling mess again, core throbbing with sensitivity even when he barely touches you. Your arms immediately give out, slumping you back onto the sheets as he works your core with his tongue.
It’s odd how much the idea of him eating you out when he came inside you turns you on. As limp as your body is, you relish in all of the pleasure he’s willing to give you. His tongue dances around your slit, alternating between slipping it between your folds and flicking your clit. You lazily tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging just enough for him to moan against you.
Your hips jerk when his lips wrap around your bud, and next thing you know, his hands hold you down. You call out his name, pulling with the grip you have on his hair to tell him you’re much too sensitive to continue.
“I know, baby,” he murmurs, blowing cold air on you. “Just a little bit more, okay? One more time.”
And then he’s back at the apex of your thighs, working much faster and harsher with his movements to get you to the edge faster. You shatter all over again, a mantra of noises passing by your lips as your thighs clench around his head.
You must actually black out for a moment, because when you come to, Chenle has pulled away from your core, his lips and chin coated with your arousal. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, his expression equally as exhausted as yours.
He grabs a towel to clean you up, but both of you are beyond tired from all the activity. You shift up on your bed, not bothering to say anything else to him as you slide beneath your blanket. When you and Chenle did things before, he always stayed. He always pulled you into his chest and whispered sweet nothings into your ear until you fell asleep.
You’re not sure if that will be the case today.
Except he does. He carefully crawls into bed next to you, turning you toward him and pulling you to him. Kissing the top of your head, he taps his fingers against your arm.
“I really missed you,” he says.
“Me, too.” You nod, but something makes your heart twist in your chest.
“Can I be honest for a second?”
“Of course.”
“I knew the pictures were there,” he whispers. “Maybe it’s shitty, but I couldn’t delete them. Sometimes, I looked back at our old conversations—not the sexual ones—and just…thought of you. I couldn’t do anything to erase you and what we did from my life. I didn’t want to.”
You wonder if that’s his idea of a confession. If he’s trying to tell you he has unresolved feelings for you.
“Then why did you stay with her?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Everyone liked her. My mom told me she thought I’d end up marrying her. She obviously didn’t know about…this. But I couldn’t fucking stop, (Y/N). Everything came back to you.”
“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” you offer. “I’m exhausted.”
“Yeah…” Chenle takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Let’s talk in the morning.”
You and Chenle wake at the same time, to the sound of his phone on the bedside table. Groaning, you massage your forehead and turn away from him. When he answers it, your interest is piqued.
“Hey.” Sleep still weighs on his voice, making it scratchy. “No, I’m not at home.”
There’s a pause, and the vague sound of the other person responding makes your heart twist violently in your chest. It’s her.
“Would you stop jumping to conclusions? I’m at Jisung’s.” Irritation laces in his tone.
You should say something. Let her know somehow that he’s lying, but you don’t. You stay silent in your hurt and wait to see what he could possibly do next.
“Yeah, forgive me for not wanting to be alone after what happened.” Chenle scoffs and runs his fingers through his hair. A sigh follows. “Damn it, I told you that was done. I’m sorry you saw those, okay? They’re from…over a year ago. It didn’t seem relevant to bring it up, and she’s still my friend, so.”
Friend. You almost laugh out loud, but again, you don’t say a word.
“Yeah, of course. Where?”
Another pause from Chenle.
“Yeah, I’ll stop by my house and then I’ll be over there. I’ll see you in half an hour?”
Your heart feels like it’s being shredded into a thousand tiny pieces.
“Thank you.” He sighs, his body deflating. “I’m so sorry for all of this, you know that, right? I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
Tears sting your eyes, and as soon as he hangs up the phone, he hops up to go grab his clothes from the living room. You sit up in your bed, blanket clutched to your chest as you watch him scramble to get dressed.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N), I have to go,” he says, walking back into your room. Leaning in, he attempts to press a kiss to your lips. You turn away from him, chewing the inside of your cheek.
“Where are you going?” you ask, even though you already know the answer.
“She…She wants to talk it out. And I have to go. You understand why, right?” His eyes widen as he scans over your face.
When you say nothing, he sighs.
“I’ll text you later. You can answer or not. Whatever you want to do.” He walks toward the door to your bedroom, but you stop him when he reaches the threshold.
Your eyes sting, your body’s sore, and all you wanted was to tell him the truth this morning. Now it’s clear to you—he’ll never feel the same way for you. He’ll drop anything and everything—you included—if it meant getting her back.
“Chenle.”
He stops, turning to you.
“She’s going to make you choose,” you warn him. “Between her and me.”
Chenle pauses, fingertips gripping the frame. “I know.”
With that, you have nothing else to say, and he wouldn’t have time to hear it anyway. He leaves without another word to you, and when he’s far enough away, your tears finally fall. You want to scream and yell, but your throat is too raw from the long night before to even attempt it.
#nct#nct dream#chenle#nct imagines#nct dream smut#nct scenarios#zhong chenle#chenle x reader#chenle angst#chenle fluff#chenle smut#nct smut#nct angst
579 notes
·
View notes
Text
show and tell • l.s.m.
Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader
Genres: smut (minors dni!), best friends/idiots to lovers!au
Warnings: swearing, lotssss of teasing/switch dynamics, tickling, reader is obsessed w/ seokmin's body, they're idiots your honor and they're a lil bit in L-word 🤮, mingyu thrown under the bus as always, ONE BAD PUN BC I THINK I'M FUNNY, sex is as silly as me, BIG COCK SEOK 🗣️ like he's fucking huge okay, oral (both rec. kind of), attempt at 69 but seok's a menace the entire time, fingering, CRYING/TEARS, possession, biting, marking, multiple orgasms, squirting, lil bit of cumplay ig?, mentions of prev partners, overstim... i think that's it lmk if i missed smth 🥵😰
WC: 6.5k
A/N: um so this is the most self-indulgent thing i dared to post you're WELCOME i shall now go die in a hole to never be seen ever again... happy belated birthday to the loml ugh ty to all the frens that let me sob in their dms and to @onlymingyus for helping me with a damn title 💖
The commonly shared belief among your friend group was that Seokmin is abnormally soft when it comes to you.
You thought they were full of shit.
The bestest buddy in the world was also the softest ray of morning sunshine to ever exist in general. You could barely count on one hand the number of people he genuinely ever showed disdain towards or didn't get along with. All in all — it was extremely hilarious in your opinion because Seokmin's fluffy personality greatly contrasted with his lean, sharp physique.
Ironically, the main reason you ended up in this position.
Just moments before, you were on his bed and caged between his arms. The dog tag necklace you'd gifted, engraved with his birth date and initials, swinging in the same rhythm that your heart rapidly beats with the small space separating your bodies. A sly grin raises the corners of his lips, the long fingers of his left-hand creeping up to trail lightly at your sides.
"I know you have abs."
Seokmin's hands fly up to wrap defensively around his body, though all in good jest. "You can't just ask a dude how many abs he has!"
"And you can't lie to me by saying you don't have any! Do you know how many of your dude-bros have blabbed about your crazy gym routine to me? Can you even guess how many girls bitched at me 'cause you weren't shirtless at my pool party? As if that's my fault?"
"But it's mine?"
"No, all I have to do is prove them wrong. So, show me the goods!"
You sucked at making up your mind — what to eat, what to wear, what to watch, what to do — okay, but who doesn't? It's something Seokmin was very familiar with, hence him always having to pick up wherever you left off. He also knows just as well that once you've settled on something, you'll see it through to the very end. Eventually.
Which normally works out in his favor except in moments like now. So he resorts to a different preventative measure — tickling the decisiveness right out of you.
Like hell you'll let him do what he wants.
Maybe the whispers about him being soft for you were right. After all, it's to your utter benefit when you push at his shoulder. Only a bit unbalanced, he easily falls onto his side and you scramble to climb on top of him at record speed, one arm pinning Seokmin's wrists against the pillow beneath his head.
Unfortunately, this looks like one of your 3,718,493,842 very bad choices in life. Once again, something you didn't think all the way through. Sure, you've bested Seokmin at light wrestling and play-fighting before — back when you were toddlers and all he did was cry.
Now, at adult ages, it seems like a horrible, terrible, very bad idea to have him beneath you. Your fingers play with the hem of his black t-shirt that's ridden up ever so slightly, unbearablely close to the leather band of his silver belt buckle.
Seokmin's pupils are blown wide as he looks up at you with a strange, almost starry-eyed look of surprise. Black bangs flipped up across the dark gray of his blanket, silver chain askew shining against his collarbones, mouth slightly ajar.
Suddenly you're hyper-aware of sitting right on top of him, completely obliterating the distance between your bodies earlier, and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination from what you can feel nestled in between your legs.
"Would it be inappropriate of me to take your shirt off right now?" you can't help but ask.
He laughs, all breathless and high-pitched like he does when he's nervous. "You're asking for permission?"
"Seokmin," you whine and shift your hips in protest without thinking. Another bad move. Oops. "I'm trying to be polite."
"You have me pinned to my bed with the intent to strip me and you're worried about being polite?"
"Oh, please, you could easily break free."
It's true. His wrists twitch a bit under your grasp, almost like he's attempting to do just that but you're faster once more. Or he's just letting you have your way with him. Whatever the case, your other hand firmly holds both of his down which only brings your faces closer together.
"Don't move."
"Okay," Seokmin agrees and licks his lips, "at least you know what consent means."
"Are you consenting?"
"Depends on what to."
"Me taking off your shirt."
"… Should I be flattered?"
"Very."
Brown eyes close, his brow furrowing. For a minute, you think you've accidentally taken things too far and are about to quickly apologize and backpedal before things backfire until his lips quirk up and Seokmin snorts.
"Never imagined you'd be stripping me like this."
You would agree because what the hell? All this for some abs? But the way he says it makes you pause.
"Have you imagined this before?"
Expecting him to panic or something, you're even more taken aback when he bites his lip like he's holding back more laughter.
"And what if I have? You'll be offended even if I lie."
You narrow your eyes challengingly while his sparkle. "Are you… flirting with me?"
"That is not how I flirt but okay."
"You're being weird. Weird weird. Like super-duper weird."
"Says the one soaking my jeans, right now."
You want to scream. Instead, you let out a scandalized gasp, eyes widening. The effort it takes to bolt away means you must release Seokmin. Something that doesn't even cross your mind with the shame heating up your cheeks, mortification setting off every sirening alarm in your nervous system.
Your first mistake.
Countless other mistakes will be made after this, but looking back — could they really be watered down to just a mistake after the end results? Why you're even so embarrassed in the first place is beyond you. And your best friend has zero intentions of letting you get away from him.
The minute Seokmin's hands are freed, one flies to keep your hips pressed against his while the other gently braces your back. Lifting his torso up with insane core strength he clearly was lying about not having, you have no choice but to wrap an arm instinctively around his neck like a koala. Your other hand curls into a fist, clinging against the fabric straining with the flex of his chest muscles while simultaneously attempting to push him back in a futile effort.
"Breathe," Seokmin murmurs in mild concern. His eyes crinkle as he smiles encouragingly. "Breathe for me, babe."
You hadn't even realized you were holding your breath. If you inched any closer forward, your nose would brush against his, and leaning too far back would end up with him on top of you again.
"This is all your fault, babe."
"You're the one that started this in the first place, babe."
"All I wanted was to see your abs," your voice drops to a pathetic whisper, "babe."
"All you had to do was ask, silly."
"I did!"
To your horror, he leans in even closer with a devious smirk so his nose brushes tenderly against yours. "For yourself. Not others."
"What… what are you playing at Seokmin?"
"It's like you misinterpret everything I do on purpose."
"I — "
"If you think I'm just playing around you're sorely mistaken."
A beat of silence. "Then what are you doing?"
"Nothing," he says innocently even though the hand on your back trails upwards and not-so-innocently unclasps the bra underneath your shirt.
Your jaw drops. Of course, your modest top is still on and the shoulder straps keep your undergarment in place. Yet, you feel naked with the way Seokmin shamelessly ogles your covered chest and lets out a satisfied groan, pleased that you weren't wearing a sports bra. After all, it's not the first time he's done that for you — but it is under this strange context.
"Seokmin — "
"I'll do whatever you want me to do. Tell me." His voice is low, rougher than you've ever heard, causing tingles to shoot down your spine at the way he says your name. "I should take full responsibility for whatever happens."
His last sentence echoes over and over inside your head because yeah, what the hell is going to happen? — until you blurt out, "You find me attractive?"
Finally, Seokmin acts the way you expect and are familiar with, his shy demeanor coming out like sun rays peeking through overcast clouds. Bowing his head, forehead flopping on your shoulder, he admits defeat.
"As if that's even a question, goofball."
"No way — there's no way! My bestie, you, find me, your bestie, like. Hot?"
"Look, I know it's cliché to fall for your friend and all that stupid shit," he grumbles, "but you don't have to sound so shocked. I already know thanks to Mingyu."
You freeze. "Know what?"
"… You're really going to make me say it?" he laughs in disbelief and shakes his head against your shoulder, causing your loose strap to slide down. "When my pride's already in tatters?"
Urging Seokmin to pick up his head and look at you, you face his brown eyes straight-on and cup his flushed cheek. "What did Mingyu say that crushed your pride?"
He sighs. "He told you I liked you before I ever got the chance to say it myself to you."
Your eyebrows raise. "He did?"
"Yeah. And I thought you just. Well. I don't know, I thought you were just ignoring it out of consideration or something. Obviously. Since you didn't say anything."
"… All 'cause I was pretty sure he blabbered about accidentally spilling the beans to you about me liking you."
The both of you pause, silently cursing poor Mingyu. He did mean well. Somehow.
"You're joking right," Seokmin whispers, "is this real?"
"What makes you think it's not."
"Because you've only ever returned my feelings in my dreams."
Your pride swells at that, wrapping your arms around his neck daringly. "Dream about me often?"
He falls backward on the bed, taking you down with him with your bodies pressed tightly together. You admire his handsome features with renewed thirst while he shuts his eyes, no longer forcing yourself to view him through the platonic lenses you'd kept on for so long.
Then his eyes flash back open and you flinch at the burning desire blazing within them. He's never looked at you like that, at least not directly and it ignites the equal yearning you feel for him like a match.
"Yeah," he answers your teasing question, "I do."
Just the thought alone makes you dizzy. Your best friend, your sweet and lovely Seokmin who puts up with all your bullshit, laying here on this exact bed with thoughts of you consuming his mind. Pining for you. Wanting you. Shit, you think he deserves to have all his fantasies come true. And you're more than happy to help him out.
"What do we do in your dreams?"
"Everything. Anything."
An iron-clad grip will probably leave bruises behind but it's not enough to stop you from a slow, lazy grind of your hips. You sit up for more leverage, hands on his broad shoulders for support, watching with smugness oozing out of your smile as he struggles to continue his wholesome thoughts.
"Holding hands, cute dates, buying you pretty things… "
"C'mon babe," you tease, "what else?"
"Ah… " Seokmin sighs, throwing an arm over his face to hide his eyes though it can't hide the flush creeping up his neck, to his cheeks, and coloring his cute ears. "You know… "
"Nah, I don't. Not unless you tell me."
"… Just gets lonely in bed. At night. Cold."
"We've slept together before when I've stayed the night and vice versa."
"Mhm, but never with my dick inside of you."
You coo, trying to keep up your unbothered façade as though the quickening pace of your hips isn't making an insane mess of his lap.
"Poor little Seokminnie had to jerk off all by himself." Leaning down to whisper maliciously in the ear that isn't shielded by his elbow, "Or did you do it while I was laying next to you because you were so frustrated?"
"As if," he scoffs, "and I'm not sure what you mean by little."
Like a switch has flipped, two hands return and grip your hips, keeping them stationary. To prove his point hard, it's Seokmin's turn to grind his pelvis up into the moist heat of your covered cunt while holding you still to feel every agonizingly delicious drag of his cock. The way he can feel you pulse against him even through your thin shorts, the devastating whimper that leaves your mouth when the rough fabric manages to catch your clit just right make up for the mildly gross stickiness of precum inside of his jeans.
A sadistic grin leers at you, almost a snarl. Such a jarring contrast to the normally soft, fond looks you're used to and a shudder runs through your body at the shock, another rush of heated arousal dripping from your pussy.
It's cute, Seokmin thinks to himself, how you put up this act and think you're the one in control when it's really me, the one whose lap you're on.
"Can you even blame me?" he growls, not waiting nor expecting any answer as he sits back up, jostling your body in the process. "I was so good, so well-behaved in front of you. And yet you waltz around me with barely anything on all the damn time, flirting with all my friends in that skimpy bathing suit without a care in the world… "
You don't even know when you ended up on your back. Staring wide-eyed into Seokmin's narrowed ones, his eyelids fluttering as he recalls these memories, fist clenched and arms tense as he towers on top of you once again. He's panting, lower body still pressed against yours.
"Batting your eyelashes at me, giggling, grinding that sweet ass all over me on the dancefloor and then skipping away even though I wanted to touch you so badly… and if that's not torturing enough, constantly showing up in my dreams, always out of reach… So yeah, I'm just a little frustrated, sorry."
"I'm… I'm… I-I didn't know — "
"I know that. I know that and that's why I felt like utter trash. You didn't mean any of it and here I am throwing my disgusting fantasies on you."
"Don't say that," you plead and cup the side of his face, running your thumb repeatedly across his mole. "You're not trash, Seokmin. I wasn't thinking — I mean I didn't realize… I just — "
"Please," he interrupts suddenly, desperately begging. "Please tell me… if this… if this is going to be a spur of the moment, out of pity, and a one-time thing… please tell me you don't want this. That you don't want me — "
"I want to kiss you."
You watch his body tremble before he takes a deep breath, smiling up at him as his eyes gradually open. They blink owlishly at you, nearly crossing in his attempt to scan your face if he really heard you correctly as you guide him by the jawline close to your lips.
"I want you, Seokmin."
To be honest, you've never really imagined what it'd feel like to kiss your best friend. The movies you've watched make it out to be magical, enchanting, and something out of a fairy tale. Sure, maybe they're not wrong but the majority of entertainment is the bad boy turning sweet or a soft boy remaining a gentleman.
Nothing's prepared you for awakening the beast in a good boy.
He kisses you with a ferocity that steals your breath from the get-go. A sensual clash of teeth, tongue, spit, love bites, and nips. Seokmin always had an enjoyable, pleasing tone to his voice and it sounds even better when he's grunting and groaning in the laidback battle for dominance.
Somehow, your clothes are merely disheveled and not ripped off despite continual tangling and grabbing at each other. Once again, you find yourself back on top as you gasp for air — having to push him away when he chases after you for more kisses. If you thought he was pretty before, he's even lovelier with shiny, swollen lips and a dazed, hungry look in his eyes.
Despite pouting at the sudden distance, the man astonishingly looks at you like you've hung the stars in the sky. As if he's never seen the ugly sides of you, your lowest and most embarrassing moments. His gaze trails from where you sit on his thighs to the rise and fall of your heaving chest to your blown-out pupils with such appreciation and awe that your cheeks are set aflame.
Although maybe you're just seeing a reflection of your own adoration. Running your hand down the toned length of one of his arms, you intertwine your fingers together. A smirk returns to your face as he squeezes back, distracted.
"So, can I see your abs now?"
Seokmin groans your name and chews on his lip, uncertain. You shrug and toy with the hem of your own shirt before decisively pulling it over your head. A blissed-out sigh escapes his mouth at the reveal.
Your bra is undone — thanks to his earlier mischief — and barely covers your breasts. Threatening to fall off at the slightest move, you pretend to protect what little modesty you might have and keep it in place with a free hand.
"Tit for tat?" you tease.
He audibly gulps and you watch his Adam's apple bob. You wait patiently, letting him go at his own pace and back out if he wants. Though he does relent because he feels at comfort with you, revealing his gorgeous tan skin and upper body you hadn't seen in what feels like years.
"Omigod…" you gasp out and he cringes, upper body taut with nerves. "You've been hiding a six-pack away from the public for so long?"
"I — "
"I want to touch them."
"Why are you so obsessed with my abs?"
"'cause they're mythical. Like unicorns or… or Bigfoot."
"You're comparing me to a yeti?"
"Not yet…i!"
He rolls his eyes at the ridiculous pun. "I thought I was getting a 'tit for tat'?"
"Yeah," you nonchalantly slide off your loose bra and toss it somewhere on his bedroom floor. Seokmin doesn't even get to relish the bare sight of your tits for his own enjoyment because you're grumbling, "can't even show his best friend his fine ass abs," and he has to correct you.
"Maybe if I was your boyfriend, I'd show them to you all the time."
"Oh? Is that a promise? A threat? A distraction?"
"An offer. A suggestion even."
"It's pretty tempting," you play coy, "can I touch you if I say yes?"
"Only if I can touch you too."
"Then yes." Your pointer finger travels down the flexed crease of his skin to right above his belly button. "Can I see your dick now?"
"But I want… I'd like to… taste you."
"Later," you assure and daringly place a kiss above his waistband. Your hands tug at the belt when his hips stutter upwards. "Please?"
He's gone the moment you flutter your eyelashes at him and so are his ruined jeans. Discarded on the floor to join the growing number of other clothing when he says yes.
Even Seokmin himself would admit he is indeed too soft for you but his cock certainly isn't. Your eyes nearly bug out when it flops against his stomach, angry red and leaking tears of precum. He grits his teeth at how much it aches, perfect jawline even more prominent.
His self-esteem would have been dashed to pieces at the devastating frown on your pretty face but it's greatly inflated when all you can do is whimper out, "You're so big… "
"Yeah?"
Your best friend — no, now your boyfriend, you suppose — hisses when you blink at him.
"There's no way you're gonna fit."
"Hah, 's never been a problem before." Nails dig into his thigh, the little show of possession at the mention of his previous partners wickedly giving Seokmin another ego boost. He's quick to try and appease you though by saying, "don't worry, babe… let me prep and taste you, I'll make it fit I promise and you'll feel good."
"Fuckin' sweet talker." You feel a hand reach out to temptingly slip under the band of your shorts. "Everything about you is always so sweet."
"'m sure you taste even sweeter."
"Seokmin…"
"Hm?" His touch grows bolder at the moan of his name, squeezing at the plumpness of your ass. "Will you please let me have a taste? Just wanna help you out."
You won't be thinking I'm so sweet after this.
Eager to touch him, you nod and start to take off your shorts but Seokmin is faster. Nearly tearing them off your body in excitement and somehow managing to position your bare lower body right where he wants it.
Luckily, you're able to face his neglected cock. A shriek leaves your mouth, though, because the hardened tip of his tongue is searching for your clit, lathing and suckling on it when he does find it.
You try to focus on your prize but it's difficult with the vigor he's attacking your throbbing, needy pussy. Seokmin holds you up high enough that he can leave occasional nips on the inner crease of your hips before harshly licking and sucking up your messy arousal. Shaking his head back and forth with an animalistic growl, all you can do is resort to pitiful kitten licks and slobbering mindlessly on just the side of his cock.
The more you attempt to wrap your lips fully around the tip, the further down he brings you to his mouth until you're almost suffocating him. A brutal assault where you can only twitch your hips to which he agreeably grunts, gliding you across his open mouth ever so slightly. Unable to escape the throes of pleasure, not that you would want to — you give up and give in.
Tears fill your eyes as your body convulses and shakes, staring longingly at his cock through bleary eyes. Seokmin's muffled moans as he gladly helps you ride out your orgasm with your fluttering hole clamping around his tongue barely registering in your ears. You feel like you're floating while underwater in the most delicious of ways.
Seokmin manages to nudge you enough so he can catch his breath while waiting for you to come back to him. A fond smile on his lips when you're finally able to move and he helps you flop by his side.
"Why on earth are you a pussy-eating pro?"
"You keep complaining about things most people don't find fault in."
"I wanted to suck the life out of you, not the opposite." You reach for his cock again but he stops you — again — and rubs the back of your hand consolingly while he wipes the wet mess you'd left on his face with a smirk like a badge of honor he takes pride in. "Lee Seokmin!"
"Shhh, don't whine, baby. Almost there, I'll let you have my dick soon. Give it to you real good. Now that I've confirmed what a tight, good little pussy you have for myself, gotta make sure you're stretched out enough. Don't wanna hurt you."
"It already hurts, 'm so empty, 'min."
"Greedy," he snickers, knowing you're full of shit, and sits up. "After I just stuffed you with my tongue so well that you complained about it, now you want me again?"
"Always want you. Always have. Didn't realize it before but it's true. 'm sorry, Seokkie, need you so bad though."
"Lucky I like you so much. Now turn around, let me see that lovely ass of yours."
You do as he says, clambering up on all fours and arching your back prettily, looking over your shoulder to see what he'll do next.
The sight alone is a wet dream. He's licking his lips, brown eyes honed in on your puffy, seeping cunt until he's snapped out of the trance when he realizes you're watching him. He sticks out his tongue to pull a silly face and you shake your head in disbelief.
A finger traces up your spine before it turns into his palm pushing down between your shoulder blades so your cheek is pressed into the pillows. You can just feel the heavy heat of his cock but he pulls away before you can savor it for too long. A constant tease that leaves you whining again in frustration and wiggling your hips enticingly, a futile effort.
"I know you're desperate. 'm sorry, don't wanna cum too fast and disappoint you though."
"You won't disappoint me."
"Nope, I'll make it worthwhile. Promise. We can do whatever positions you want after this. I'd like to see you riding me like you do in my dreams, personally." Watching how you clench at his words, he chuckles. "Knew you'd like that too. Now, let's see…"
He slips a digit inside your hole muttering, "There we go," and adds another. And another. Three fingers explore your gummy inner walls and he hums in contemplating tones before he begins scissoring motions to get your pussy to further open up.
Your moans are muffled by the bed and Seokmin simply increases his pace to make them louder with a sneer of satisfaction you don't see. You do feel him kissing down the length of your spine, more love bites that make you squeal at each pinch.
"So cute and perfect. What 'm I gonna do with you?" he asks and pretends to understand the unintelligible garble to his rhetorical question. "Yeah, that's right, babe. Fuck you even more stupid than you are now 'cause it's what you deserve."
Retracting his fingers, licking them clean, and mumbling how pretty you are — then he's finally wrapping a veined hand around his even veinier cock to tease at your entrance.
He plays with your wetness, coating his tip with it and making both your mouth and pussy drool. And god, does Seokmin relish the vision before him.
You're everything to him and that thought alone makes him bite down on his lower lip, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead. He doesn't want to fuck this up. Every muscle in his body tenses when he takes a deep breath and eases himself inside, enraptured with the way your soft pussy lips part and cling around his length to welcome him.
When he glances up to check how you're doing, he has to reign himself back from exploding or thrusting insensitively all the way in. The way your eyes roll up, a stain of drool left on his blanket, and the feeble thank you's followed by a filthy series of moans — he lets out a string of curses that would make even a depraved whore blush out of shyness.
"S'big, s'full," you hiccup, clenching and unclenching in rapid successions that has Seokmin wheezing, though he tries to comfort you.
"'m not even all the way inside, sweetheart. Bear with me, babe. Breathe. I've got you."
"Got me… hella fuckin' full."
"You can take it. I know you can." He pushes his hips forward a bit more. "There you go, sweetheart. Relax just a tiny bit… Yeah, that's it…"
Praises fall from his lips and you sob at both the goddamn stretch and unfathomable pleasure. You already feel him buried in your gut reaching spots you didn't even know existed by the time he's almost bottomed out for his pelvis to press temptingly against your ass — you're pretty sure you can feel him in your lungs at this point.
"S'deep…!"
"Feel so fucking good… d'ya need me to pull out a little, baby? You still with me?"
You answer him by bravely using whatever strength — or more like the urge for him to split you open and take it all because you want to be as good as he's telling you that you are for him — and push yourself back so he's fully seated within your tight cunt.
You're probably screaming if your raspy throat and ringing ears are anything to go by. He's panting and rubbing his forehead with a groan.
"Fuck, what are you so hot for?"
The air feels like it's been punched out of his lungs, the same way his cock is being suctioned and squeezed. In an effort to wrangle whatever control is left within himself, Seokmin focuses on your body and how it reacts. Laying over your arched back to press your bare bodies close together in an intimate fashion.
You can feel his necklace and its cool touch on your burning skin. The recollection of never seeing him without it since gifting it to him reignites a possessive streak in you and has your pussy pulsing around him more fervently. Suddenly you long to have his mark engraved on you permanently, etched into your body and soul just like the inanimate object.
It's almost a shame when he pauses to tug it free so it doesn't break and let it hang over your shoulder instead. Not that it matters much, for you'd only have a temporary imprint of a dog tag shape on your back.
As if he can read your muddled mind (he probably can), Seokmin makes up for it in his concentration to delay his dizzy cloud of absolute unbridled lust. He's already left many physical reminders of his touch where you'll definitely be sore later scattered around your body and as a bonus — bites down where your neck meets your shoulder.
(You have no idea how you'll explain the obvious teeth marks to your friends the next day but you know they'll know. Especially when Seokmin — the little shit that he is — shamelessly shows off the various marks you'll leave all over him later tonight.)
But you don't think about that right now, any and all thoughts consumed of him, him, and him. You're full. So full. Oh, how you ache to run your fingers across his gorgeous body the same way he's able to yours, sneaking a hand underneath to fondle at your breasts and tug at your nipples. You suppose that can wait, already inching toward another crashing orgasm when he's unable to stay still anymore and starts shallow, cautious thrusts.
"Mm, ah, 'min… Seok… min… "
"'m here baby, you're gonna cum for me already, aren't ya?" He pulls his dick out far enough to see the way your essence glistens and coats his length and then smoothly stuffs you full again. "Go on and cream on my cock, make me yours."
Shockingly you shake your head. "No, too soon!"
"S'kay, I know you can give me another one after. If you let go now, it'll feel even better after. You're still so tight, I can barely move."
You really can't believe you're about to climax so soon again. There's not really a choice to hold it off anyways, especially when his hand moves away from your tits and mercilessly rubs your clit. He could've just fucked your throat raw with how hoarse your voice is now with all the sounds he's drawn out of you.
As you recover from the fuzziness of a second orgasm, he'd taken out his cock that's basically gone numb at this point (he's not sure if that's a good thing or not), and appreciates the delectable view of how your hole has been stretched out perfectly in the shape of his cock to accommodate him so sweetly. It all screams I am Seokmin's and he fucking adores it. And you.
There's only one thing left to do. Paint you with the color white.
"You ready for me?"
You breathlessly huff out a yes but honestly, you're unsure if you will be able to handle another peak without passing out. Seokmin soothes you, whispering that this will be the last one for this round accompanied by two chaste kisses on each of your shoulder blades. So wonderful and perfect, he reminds and suddenly you can do anything he asked of you.
Which is good because he's finally snapping his hips hard and fast with better ability, drilling into your warm, wet pussy he calls his that confirms that ownership itself with filthy noises of agreement and gushes of more arousal. You moan out a mix of yes, yours, and his name — growing so fucked out that when he asks you where you want him to cum, all you do is feebly bounce your asscheeks against his abs when he refuses to move.
"Shit, you gotta tell me now or I'll… fuck, I'll do it inside. I-I know you're on the pill but… "
"Please…"
"You'd look pretty with it all over your back but also spilling out of your pussy… "
"If you don't cum right now anywhere… I'll cry."
"You're already crying." His thumb brushes at the trail of tears that spilled over your eyelids.
"Seokmin…!"
"'m sorry, let me give you what you want."
His hips resume slamming at a rapid pace, hitting deep within that magic bundle of nerves without fail. Stars swim in your vision and the mind-numbing pressure twisting in your lower gut builds up without warning.
It's a silent scream this time and a peak that doesn't seem to end. As your body violently shudders and shakes for what feels like hours at its intensity, Seokmin's release is triggered. Gently thrusting as you spasm around him, milking his cock as it starts to fill you up with a comforting warmth. In a daze, he's forced out by the end of your explosive orgasm and watches with a slack jaw in awe.
He's managed to leave beautiful lines of white across your ass and back as intended. Though the bit he'd left inside of you is mostly expelled by you squirting and coating his thighs with your release, if he looks close enough, there are still globs of cream left around the outer lips of your cunt that has him groaning.
"This is better than what I've dreamt about."
"Of course. Real thing is always better."
"In this case, yes."
"… Do you still think I'm sweet?"
"… Somehow, yes."
Seokmin laughs as you collapse flat against the bed. You need to clean up but both of you can afford to rest a little first. He lays down next to you on his side, bringing you into his arms and you immediately snuggle your face into his chest before fixing him with a serious gaze.
"I don't get it."
He stiffens in fear. "Wh-what?"
"You fucked your previous partners, right?"
"Um… most… of them… "
"Like this?"
"Uh… " he narrows his eyes. "What… what do you mean?"
"There's no way they would've wanted to let you go if you got a stroke game and stamina this good. Unless you were just too much of a beast in the sheets — which I could understand."
His arms tighten around you. "I'm sorry, did I go too hard on you? I just didn't wanna cum too fast."
"No, you're insane but it was… incredible. You're the unreal one here."
"Didn't expect that when you harassed me about my abs, huh?"
"I did not harass you and of course not, did you?"
"No, but… I'm glad it did. You… don't… you don't regret it, do you?"
"No, why would I?" He breathes out a tiny sigh of relief which has you raising an eyebrow but you continue on. "I don't get why they didn't try harder to stick around. I mean you're perfect. In all aspects. I one-hundred-percent mean that."
"They weren't you, though. I'm sincere when I say you've always been the one. I was just afraid…"
"You're a damn good actor, you know that. I had no idea."
Your favorite smile beams at you. "I did major in theater. And we're both kinda idiots."
You slap at his chest playfully and he covers your hand with his. "I like you too, you know that? Like really mean it when I say I do. Even if you just obliterated my fucking vagina out of existence."
"There's no way, I most certainly did not." He kisses your forehead. "'cause you still have to ride me like promised."
"I don't think I'll be able to."
Your eyes close, ignoring Seokmin's gasp of shock and protests about cleaning up. He can tell you're pretty exhausted and acquiesces, shifting you into a position more comfortable for you to be able to doze off for a bit.
But you take that opportunity to spring to life, sucking the nastiest hickey on his neck right above his silver chain. One that will take weeks to heal. He lets out a moan as you do it and when you back away, the atmosphere has heated up again.
"You're giving me a hard time," he points out with an eyebrow wiggle and you giggle.
Urging him to roll over, you lug your aching limbs up and over so you can straddle his upper body. Adding more and more love marks and bites on his chest, neck, and arms. It's your turn to stake a hushed claim of mine whispered into his ears that you nip at. And he giggles, loving the attention you're showering him with.
His cock is stirring to life under your ministrations as is another pool of arousal swirling in your gut. Despite the hiss of oversensitivity and slight pain you both feel, you ease his length back inside. Nearly crying out because this new angle means he's stuffed in you even more, you don't know if he can fit until you're gasping in relief once you're successful.
He tentatively brushes his fingers against the bulge that appears in your lower tummy, wanton moans erupting from both of you at the gesture. It sends chills down your spine and you shiver.
"Gonna have to help me move, dunno if I have enough strength to make your dreams come true."
"S'kay, we have forever to act them out again and again," he reassures you which erases your pout. "You'll get used to me with enough practice."
"You think so?"
"Well, we can only test that theory to make sure."
You giggle as he pulls you in for a tender kiss by the back of your neck. "You're naughtier than I could've ever imagined."
"But you love it. You love me." His smug look only grows at your agreeing hum and when he flexes his abs. "Now, shall we see if all the work I put into my abs is worth it, babe?"
onlyseokmins: February 2023 ©
Taglist: @joshibambi @junhui-recs @pandorashbox @rubyscoups @woozluv @darlingvernon @charcharfairy @httpswonwoosglasses @yeosayang @buffhoshi @horanghae8star @noraehey @misssugarlips @tinkerbell460 @aceofvernons @dejavernon
#ez.creates#svthub#svt smut#seventeen smut#kpop smut#smut#dokyeom smut#lee dokyeom smut#dk smut#lee seokmin smut#seokmin smut#1k 🌟#svt.smut
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
NCT DREAM 00' LINE + MARK — WHERE DO THEY CXM !?
︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
PAIRING: l. mark, h. renjun, l. jeno, l. haechan, n. jaemin x male reader (separate scenarios)
GENRE: smut
WARNINGS: cxm play basically, breedxng, throatfuxking, unprotected intercourse, degrxdation, dirtytalk, riding, stepcxst (jeno's part), petnames, barebxck
AUTHOR'S NOTE: hello, i wrote this one because of pure boredom. hope y'all enjoy the mess, lovelots. reblogs and interactions are highly appreciated.
▬ !! MARK LEE
at first, mark did it for fun, but now, he can't seem to stop painting your back with his cum as he watches it messily flow down your body.
"SHIT— MARK— I'M GONNA—" you moaned out loud, on all fours gripping the pillows and sheets as you felt the wave of an alluring climax approaching you.
"hm? are you now, baby boy?", the way your walls contracted tightly around his cock sent mark into an overdrive of bliss and pleasure, and you could feel it by how his hands tightened their grip on your waist as he barebacks you — thrusting at a rougher and wilder pace you've barely felt before. "go on, pretty boy, let go for me, yeah?" he whispered as he neared his orgasm, "show me how good my cock feels inside your tight little ass."
he continued to fuck deep into you, watching you scream his name like a cheap little whore as you plead him not to stop, bringing you closer and closer to the brink of your orgasm.
soon as you came hard, mark couldn't resist the tightness of your hole clenching around him - the tightness of your walls urging mark to pull out as he cummed all over your stomach, both of your cum releases mixing.
you were still recovering from the prior orgasm, your legs quivering, when you felt mark pulling you by your legs closer, much rougher this time. he inserted his cock back inside you, the head of his cock kissing the sensitive flesh of your prostate that sent you to the edge once again, and it brought tears to flow down your cheeks.
with a devilish grin painted on his face, he kissed your tears as he thrusted relentlessly again.
︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
▬ !! HUANG RENJUN
renjun is obsessed with your abs and he's not shy about it. he loves them so much that he can't resist cumming all over them whenever he gets the chance.
the bed was shaking like crazy as renjun pounded into you, making the headboard slam against the wall. you were completely spent, your body limp and exhausted from all the intense fucking.
"you're so fucking perfect, puppy" renjun moaned as he kissed your shoulder and squeezed your chest. "your body was made for me."
you could barely even respond, too focused on the intense pleasure building up inside you. suddenly, you came hard, your body convulsing uncontrollably as your cum spurted everywhere all over your stomach. grinning, renjun moaned as he watched you orgasm hard in front of him - it was such a turn on seeing you go dumb chasing your own release.
renjun couldn't control himself too as he continued to groan loudly, thrusting hard to reach his own climax.
finally, he pulled out and shot his hot cum all over your abs, making a mess all over your toned stomach. "god, you're so fucking hot," he breathed as he massaged your abs and spread his cum around.
you drifted off to sleep, feeling completely spent and satisfied, as renjun whispered sweet nothings into your ear and cleaned you up.
︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
▬ !! LEE JENO
his breeding kink is high at all times, jeno would cum deep inside you and enjoy the pleasure of fucking it back inside over and over again — regardless whether may it be his fingers or his girthy cock, he just wouldn't let his hot cum spill out of you.
a series of whimpers left jeno's mouth as you ride him - drool seeping through the sides of his lips as he moaned your name shamelessly. "more please, my prince," jeno mumbled as he gripped the sheets underneath him, his cheeks flushed with a tint of soft pink all over it and his forehead sweating more and more. "daddy's close, little one - please don't stop,"
you couldn't even form coherent words to talk back as your high comes to a close - a whimpering mess is what you are right now as you ride his cock with abandon; loving how his cock stretches you in all the right ways. jeno grabbed your waist so hard, his fingers digging onto your flesh so tightly that you're sure to wake up with bruises the morning after - but you don't care.
jeno came hard, your name spilling out of his mouth as he rode his orgasm. his cum started streaming down your thighs as you proceeded to bounce more - eager to follow your awaiting high, and it didn't take long for you to cum all over his stomach.
but things weren't far from being over. jeno's grip on your waist tightens, commanding you to bounce more and keep going. "don't you dare fucking stop, little boy," he sterned as he flips you on all fours.
he nibbled your earlobe as you trembled from the overstimulation, "i'm going to fuck you all night long, baby boy," he said, his thrusts coming in deeper, not letting his cum escape out of your hole, "i won't stop 'til you're full with your stepbrother's cum."
︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
▬ !! LEE HAECHAN
he's a messy guy when he cums; haechan is shameless and doesn't care about cumming everywhere. as long as both of you get off, that's all that matters to him, even if he leaves a mess behind.
you ended up in the practice room, not the most private place, but it didn't stop you two. against the mirror, haechan pounded into you relentlessly - hard and fast. "damn, baby boy, you feel so good."
haechan grabbed your neck with one hand, and the other around your torso as he continued to fuck you. "h-hyuck, i'm gonna cum," you whispered, searching for bars to hold onto.
he released his grip on your neck and played with your cock, rubbing circles until you came all over his hand. the clenching of your hole made him dizzy, and he pulled out to cum, not caring where it landed.
as the both of you halted to catch your breath, haechan chuckled, "i do consider myself an artist," he said, pointing to his cum he painted on the practice room mirrors. you rolled your eyes, and he pulled you closer. he pushed you down to your knees and pulled your hair to look up at him, "do you prefer me painting on your face instead?"
︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎ ︎ ︎ ︎︎━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
▬ !! NA JAEMIN
jaemin was all about cumming in your mouth and throat; making sure you swallowed every last drop of him. he wouldn't let any of his cum escape your mouth, or else he'd just have to fuck your throat again regardless if it's swollen or not.
you took all of him in your mouth, sucking him fast before he had to go back to the practice room. "you fucking whore," he said as he grabbed your hair. "so goddamn needy for me and my cock that you came all the way here for it."
you massaged his balls, causing him to groan and lean back in his chair. your head bobbed faster and you used your hands to fill in the spots your mouth couldn't reach. the sound of you gagging around his cock filled the room, and jaemin lives for it.
jaemin grabbed your hair to stop your movement as he pushed your head down on his thick cock, keeping you in place. you groaned around him, your throat not able to handle it as your nails began to sink deep into his thighs, leaving crescent-shaped marks on his skin.
"oh, what do I have here?" jaemin said, holding back his moans. "my little slut can't take all this cock? such a shame, my boy." he started thrusting into your mouth without any sign of mercy, not caring about the tears streaming down your cheeks.
jaemin moaned loudly as his warm cum filled your mouth, the salty taste coating your tongue. he pulled away and you coughed, his cum barely escaping your lips when he forcefully pushed his fingers in your mouth. "swallow, now."
#kpop x male reader#nct x male reader#nct smut#nct dream smut#kpop smut#jeno smut#jaemin smut#haechan smut#mark smut#renjun smut#jeno x male reader#jaemin x male reader#na jaemin smut#lee jeno smut#jeno x reader#jaemin x reader#renjun x reader#haechan x reader#male reader#bottom male reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i just saw a tweet saying that THIS IS HOW MARK LEE LOOK AT YOU WHILE YOU RIDE HIS DICK I'm going crazy.
PLEASE SOMEONE WRITE ABOUT THIS AND TAG ME
#nct 127 x reader#nct 127#mark lee#i'm going crazy#MARK LEE IS THE HOTTEST MAN EVER#i want to ride him#mark lee x reader#mark lee imagines#mark lee smut#nct dream x reader#nct dream smut#nct br pt
118 notes
·
View notes
Text
cherry kisses | lee heeseung
part two: strawberry skies
featuring: enhypen members
synopsis: heeseung is desperate to find out who he had a one-night stand with at his house party last night, and the only clue he has is the taste of cherry balm on her lips.
pairing: sub leaning!heeseung x dom leaning!afab reader
genre: smut, fluff, angst (only a tinge), pwp, strangers to lovers
word count: 4802
warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), dom and sub themes, degradation, choking, bondage, oral sex (m and f receiving), teeny tiny bit of anal if you squint, heeseung on a leash
With a lip balm stick in hand, Heeseung stands frozen in the middle of the living room while the other boys bustled all over the place—Jay making hangover soup in the kitchen, Jake running with the vacuum cleaner, and Sunghoon picking up the scattered cups that may or may not have smelled like spit as he was grimacing hard.
With a heavy head, the eldest plopped onto the couch behind him, his fringe obstructing his sight as he held up the item on his hold. “Cherry flavored”, it read.
He instinctively runs his tongue over his top lip, remembering the faint taste the balm left from last night’s happenings. Vivid images of a certain woman flash in his head as he fixes his gaze on the balm. He found her gorgeous, submitting to him as he let the alcohol take over his body. The bad news was this—he wasn’t able to pick up a name, a face, or even a clue on who she was. At this point, she was considered a Jane Doe.
He shakes his head in frustration, shoving the balm stick inside his jean pocket. How could he not remember someone who fucked him so good?
“You done daydreaming yet?” Sunghoon asks, throwing a shirt on Heeseung's way, which he swiftly catches with his hand. The younger gives him a suggestive grin, almost about to laugh. “Hyung got that good banging last night, huh?”
“Shut up, Hoon.'' Heeseung hisses, messily putting on the shirt that turned out to be Jay's, judging by the smell of perfume on it. “Don't want to talk about that.”
“Oh, I bet he’s been ditched.” Jake snickers, turning off the vacuum cleaner and ceasing its noise. the lad stifles a laugh as he saw the scratch marks on Heeseung’s back and the hickeys on his neck. “I mean, look at his face. He looks like I stole his cup ramyeon.”
“But was he, though?” Jay chimes from the kitchen, a pot of soup on his two hands as he walks cautiously to the dining table. “You can’t skimp on the deets, hyung. You gotta tell us what happened.”
Heeseung shakes his head yet again, not bothering to answer the questions being thrown at him. These stubborn fucks. He stands on his feet, sauntering to the table as the smell of the soup welcomes him. Who in their right mind would want to miss out on Park Jongseong's cooking?
“Hasn't it come to you that she might be in one of our classes?” Jake suggests as he sits down, holding four bowls in his hands. “We can ask around, you know. we have Sunghoon’s influence for that.”
With a dramatic gasp, Sunghoon retorts, “You fucker! Just because I'm popular doesn’t mean i can just go around the campus asking ‘Hey, do you know some girl who fucked Lee Heeseung last night?’. I'm not an introvert for nothing, bro.”, earning laughs from the two J’s.
“Nah, but seriously speaking,” Jay prefaces, pushing a bowl of soup for each of the three. “What's with this girl that not remembering her bothers you so much?”
The question sends Heeseung into silence, making him rethink his worries in the first place as he consumes his hangover soup slowly.
Maybe it was the way he felt when she touched him, or what her moans sounded like. Hell, it might be the way that his body moved synchronously with his which just felt so right. No one has ever driven him into a crazy state before this.
“I don't know either.”
***
“One, two, three… pick up your paces, y'all!”
The words immediately disappear from your memory as you fervently jump to the beat of the professor’s whistles that were seriously doing no good for your eardrums. With eyes closed, you fling your arms upward as you keep the balls of your feet moving. How much more do I have to endure?
That was just one of the reasons you despised gym class. As the last whistle trills, you almost drop to the floor. Beads of sweat roll down your forehead as your body emitted heat from all that muscle exertion. You break into peals of pants, trying to catch your breath.
“I’m about to fucking pass out.” you gasp under your breath as you panted, vision almost getting blurry as your professor rambled about something in the background. He better supply me with a nebulizer kit after this.
You reach for your back pocket rather weakly, feeling for the lip balm stick inside of it. As strange as it seems, you couldn’t risk getting chapped lips every time because boy, you hated stinging lips. You lift the stick open, twist it slightly, and slowly smear the product all over your lips. The familiar taste of cherry meets your taste buds, just as usual.
You sigh as you put the balm back in your pocket, relieved that you were able to replenish your stock after running out of it last night.
Oh, last night was so memorable. You give yourself a mental pat on the back. If it weren’t for you going crazy over Lee Heeseung’s lip ring and asking him for a kiss, you would’ve lived a boring life. He had a reputation for being the smartest and most proper of his pack, but you were slowly doubting that after he drunk fucked you senselessly and made you his bitch last night.
Still catching your breath, you finally get on your feet, making way to the gym bleachers. You make a mental note to proceed to the film department in hopes to spot your senior-turned-daddy dom. it’d please you to see him go wild again.
“So when do you plan on revealing yourself?”
You almost jump at the sudden voice, clutching your chest tightly. In a blink, you see Sunghoon in front of you, wearing a lopsided smile on his face.
“What do you want?” you ask through your teeth, slapping the lad’s shoulder while you were at it.
“It was you, right?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Park Sunghoon.” you shook your head, dabbing your face with a cool towel.
Sunghoon clicks his tongue loud enough for it to echo throughout the whole basketball court. You gasp as he feigns disappointment, shaking his head and pretending to cry as if someone had passed. You roll your eyes at his antics and pinch his earlobe, ceasing his act.
“Ow! Fine!” Sunghoon pouted. “It's about Heeseung hyung.”
Oh.
You let go of poor Sunghoon’s ear and flash him a shit-eating grin, contrary to the frown you were wearing just earlier. You had no idea how you became whipped for that man in the first place when you’ve just interacted once, but you liked it. You liked him. Seeing this, Sunghoon cups his mouth with his palm, realization dawning on him.
“No way.” Sunghoon cackled silently, eyes still agape and staring at your smug expression. “So it was you.”
“Oh, it was me, indeed.” you reply before chugging down water from your tumbler. You swallowed, letting the cold liquid pass down your throat. “Why are you suddenly asking me about this, by the way?”
“Hyung actually doesn’t have any idea who obliterated him good last night,” Sunghoon mutters, fidgeting with his fingers. I still can’t believe my two best friends fucked! “and you can only imagine how it bothers him up until now.”
Lee Heeseung? Bothered? Those two words made a very strange combination. You figured he’d just call it a night and not tell everyone. Somehow, you were envious towards Sunghoon because Heeseung was able to see everything firsthand—how he thought about you, how you occupied his mind, how he felt about the marks and scratches you left on his body, and how his face looked whenever he’d come undone inside you.
“Should I reveal myself, then?”
***
“Good game, you fuckers!” Jake hollers as he spun his sweaty soccer uniform on his hand like a lasso. This earns him disgusted looks from his teammates, especially Sunghoon and Jungwon who were bona fide clean freaks.
“Ew, would you stop that, hyung?” Jungwon winces, throwing a cleat in Jake's way. “And stop cursing, will you? there’s a seventeen-year old in the room.”
It was another cup bagged by the Decelis Academy’s soccer team, scoring them three goals against their sworn enemies, JYP University, way up to victory. Their coach would scold the life out of them for being “pussies” and they’d always prove him wrong after that, which always sends their poor coach into a state of mental breakdown.
The locker room reeked of mixed sweat and perfume, the temperature hot and humid. They've surely worked themselves out on that game.
“Hey, don’t forget the deal, you guys!” Jay chuckled, shoving his dirty uniform into a mesh bag, leaving him half-naked. “Anyone who gets a yellow card treats us to the barbecue place.”
“Who got himself a yellow again?” Sunoo gives Jay a side-eye, fanning himself. “That rarely happens.”
“Well, a man who goes by Lee Heeseung shall explain.” Sunghoon roams his eyes around the room, frowning as he didn’t find a trace of Heeseung, or Heeseung himself, in the area.
“Too bad, he’s already in the showers.” Riki shrugs.
***
The splashing water sounds echo in the almost empty shower room, along with Heeseung's steady breaths that overpowered it. With his palms stuck on the cubicle wall and eyes shut, he let the cold water drench him from head to toe.
It was a good game, but strangely, he didn’t feel like hanging out with the team. On a usual basis, he’s always the most enthusiastic about after parties and samgyeopsal sessions. Today, however, was an exception. He opted for a cold, peaceful shower in hopes to get the still unknown woman off of his mind.
Or so he thought.
He sluggishly twists the shower knob, ceasing the flow of water from above his head. With eyes now wide open, he pulled a towel and wrapped it around his hips. “Finally.” he whispers, stepping out of the cubicle after sliding his flip-flops on.
He cautiously walks on the slippery floor, and to the lockers. What he didn’t know, however, was the pair of eyes spying on him as he walks half-naked to the lockers.
“Fancy seeing you here.” a voice says, startling the life out of Heeseung and almost making him topple to the floor if it weren’t for his grip on the sink. A peal of laughter follows it after as he got himself on his feet, cursing under his breath.
You stare in amusement as the oblivious lad scrutinized your whole form. He squints as he sees your fit—an oversized black hoodie with the hood snugly fitting your head, a pair of sunglasses that were big enough to cover your whole face, and your school’s gym uniform.
“Excuse me.” Heeseung almost stutters, completely flustered as he was only wearing a towel to cover his privates. “This is the men’s showers.”
you giggled, pulling your sunglasses off to reveal your face to him. “I know,” you quip. “sir.”
Heeseung finds himself almost choking at the nickname. He had no idea what it was for, but it definitely caught him off-guard. You smirk smugly as you take off your hoodie, enjoying the perplexed expression on his face. You were finally face-to-face with your person of interest and you wish you had a camera right now so you can remember the privilege of being able to bring out Heeseung's inner satyr.
“Aww, that’s not how you looked while you were busy making me come last night.” you coo, running a hand over his wet abdomen. He sucks in a deep breath as your fingertips move slowly along his muscles, touch like electricity making him tense up. The feeling was so familiar to him that realization finally dawned on him. Fuck, it’s really her.
He freezes, realizing that the person who bothered him so much ever since this morning is now in front of him. As you proceed with your ministrations, he feels himself getting harder as your fingers move down south. A smile creeps up your face, pressing your body against his bare one. Oh, how your breasts felt soft against his chest.
He looks down at your breasts squished against him and lets out a chuckle. It was time for him to stop playing coy. “If only you’d take that annoying bra off right now, maybe we could pick up where we left off last night.”
Not letting you speak, he yanks your bra down, revealing your soft and perky breasts. You let out a gasp as he latched his tongue on one of your nipples, his hands making their way down to pull your sweats and panties down.
“Already wet for me?” Heeseung mumbles against your breast as he dipped a finger on your sex. “I guess I wasn't the only frustrated one.”
He then pulls away from your breasts before kneeling down and slinging one of your legs over his shoulder. Wasting no time, his tongue harshly flicks your clit, making you cry out because of the sudden contact.
“Oh, Hee!” you moan as you find yourself holding onto his hair for dear life. I can’t believe the ace student who acted all prim and proper was so hungry for my pussy. “Oh, you feel so good!”
“Oh, do I?” Heeseung taunts, sliding two fingers in you, tongue not leaving your already sensitive clit. “My little whore can’t get enough of me, huh?”
“Ah, yes, Hee—”
“That's not my name.” he interrupts. you felt the sting in your ass from his slap as he pumps his fingers in a shocking speed, leaving your tongue. He then stands back up and pulls you into a sloppy kiss, almost whining as he tasted the cherry lip balm that he so wanted to taste again, this time, on your lips.
“Yes, sir.” you whimper as his kisses go down your neck. “I can't get enough of you. I want to—ah!”
“Say that again, you naughty girl.” he murmurs. You didn’t know it, but you were making his confidence grow bigger by every second, just like his dick. He clicks his tongue. “Use your words, slut.”
“Sir, I want to come!”, you almost scream as you hold onto his shoulders. “I'm so close… please, I want to come all around you, sir.”
“And you are so going to.” he pulls his fingers from inside you, making you whine at the loss of contact, then pushing them into his mouth to taste your arousal. He hums in satisfaction, gazing at you with lustful eyes. You looked so fucking beautiful in front of him—swollen lips, bedhead, breasts filled with hickeys, and pussy almost dripping wet as he bore his stare deeper. You wanted to be fucked here and now.
Heeseung pins you onto the nearest wall he could find and strips all of your clothing off, throwing them on the floor. His towel soon follows, revealing his hard and aching cock that was so ready to fill you up. Your mouth almost waters at the sight, but he then holds you by the chin, making you look up at him, and him only.
“I don’t want to push you into something you’re not okay with.” he assures, voice laced with concern as he stroked your head. I still have a reputation to keep, after all. “You can tell me to stop whenever you want me to.”
“But I want this, though.” you reply, bucking your hips against his dick to get some friction, which he responds to by hooking your leg onto his waist, getting ready to enter you.
“Good, now let me make you feel good.” he nods, slowly pushing himself inside your wet cunt.
***
A week has already passed since Heeseung had fucked your brains out in the showers, and you have never spoken to anyone about it. It's not like you didn’t have a good time—you really did, but for some reason, you felt like you’ve tainted someone’s innocence even if Heeseung himself was comfortable with it. He moved like he had prior experience, yet you were pretty sure it was because of porn. Still, you can’t help but think that he might be cursing you for barging into the showers and turning him on.
You slump your head on the cafeteria table, frustrated as hell. “I don’t understand.” you whine out. “I shouldn't be feeling this way.”
“Well, if you look on the bright side and not act like chicken shit,” Sunghoon pipes in as he chews on his sandwich. “it might help.”
“Does he hate me?” you grumble, head still on your hands, not wanting to face Sunghoon who was probably laughing at you right now. What did I just get myself into?
As a silent psychological warfare happens in your head, you remember the pact that you’ve made with Heeseung after having sex with him in the showers. It was the first time you've had a proper conversation with him, and the way he spoke to you was nowhere near the way he did as he rammed himself inside of you.
“I’m curious about something, you know.” you mutter, watching Heeseung silently change into his tracksuit. The way his muscles flexed whenever he moved was something you found hot, not to mention his plump and breathtaking ass.
“What is it?” the lad replies as he shimmied into his shirt, stealing a glance at you. from a few meters away, You sat on the bench, and he couldn't help but notice how and where you were looking at him. The hoodie you wore made you look so tiny, along with the way your hair frames your face. cute.
“Have you ever thought about submitting?”
Heeseung looks at you with a puzzle expression, not exactly understanding what you’ve just said. You reply to him by lifting your brows, waiting for his answer.
“I don't… really know what you mean by 'submitting’. it can have different meanings, you know?” Heeseung blabbered on, taking a seat beside you.
The space in between your bodies was dangerously close, your shoulders were about to touch. He looked at you with his usual “meh” face, except without his glasses. “You might be talking about school projects, papers, or even sex,” he whispered, his face getting dangerously close to yours. His breath that reeked of mint fans your face, and his doe eyes met your lidded ones. “You want me to sub?”
You immediately shake your head, afraid that he might get the wrong idea. “No, i was expecting a yes or no for an answer—”
“Shush, let me speak.” he places a finger on your lips to interrupt. “I'll do it with you. But on one condition.”
Flustered, you gently pick up his hand and pull it away from your lips. “F-fine, then.” Lee Heeseung wants to be submissive? “What condition?”
You sit up almost immediately after your small flashback, and grab the nearest person next to you—Sunghoon. You grab your best friend’s face and do something that you never thought you’d do in your whole life—kissing him. You close your eyes tight to ease the secondhand embarrassment, but after just ten seconds, you pull away from him, not bothering to look back.
Sunghoon, still taken aback, scowls at you in complete confusion. With mouth agape, he stares at you in shock. “What the fuck are you on, Y/N?”
“Hoon… it’s about Heeseung.” you mutter, clenching your fists in embarrassment. Shame, shame, shame. “I made a deal with him, I, I'm sorry.”
“It's fine, it’s fine.” he reassures, tapping your shoulder. “Tell me all about it.”
You draw out a long sigh, face glum as you prepare to tell Sunghoon about yours and Heeseung’s deal. “Okay, so here’s the thing. After me and him did it, we basically—”
You stop in your tracks as your phone vibrates from inside your skirt pocket. Assuming that it was an emergency message, you immediately fish it out and unlock the screen, only to see the notification that reads:
hee (13:34)
you win. </3 fuck, how did u?
“If you successfully make me jealous within a week,” he suggests, tugging on your hoodie gently. “I'll let you do whatever you want with me, mommy.”
***
You had no idea how you found yourself sitting on a swivel chair in a small apartment bedroom that wasn’t even yours, but you were loving the scene unfolding in front of you.
You try to suppress a dreamy whine in your mouth as your eyes fix on the poor lad kneeling in front of you. The way heeseung’s sweat glistened on his skin, fringe stuck on his forehead, lips swollen and agape—it fucking turned you on. He whimpers desperately despite the tightness around his neck, wanting to be touched by you so bad. He was nervous at first, but once you’ve tied his wrists up and leashed him, the shyness has gone poof.
“Now how am I supposed to satisfy you when you’re such a noisy, whiny bitch?” you fake sympathy, manspreading in front of him with your lace panties on display. Fuck, I want to eat her out.
“Stubborn boys don’t easily get what they want, so if you obey Mommy,” you yank the chain links of his leash harshly, almost getting dragged towards you. “Maybe I can reward you.”
He can only nod at your statement. His breaths are ragged and his hardness was starting to ache. Suppressing his moans, he bites his lip in frustration, telling himself to endure it for a little longer.
“Now, you dirty little boy,” you tilt his chin upward, making him look at you. Noticing his misty-eyed expression, your expression slightly relaxes, but not too obvious for him to see. “What's our safe word?”
“C-cherry.” Heeseung whimpers out. He personally loved the one you picked out, for it reminded you of your very first encounter. It also became his most favorite flavor from that moment.
“Attabot.” you smirk, chain still in your hand. “Lay on your back.”
Heeseung obliges, laying himself flat on the bed, still being guided by the chain. You let out a hearty chuckle, scrutinizing his frustrated expression, The hickeys you’ve put all over his body, and the precum peeking from the tip of his cock. Oh, he looks so fuckable and punishable.
Without a word, you saunter to the foot of the bed, bending over to touch his sensitive cock, to which he shakily whines. “Mommy…” he sighed. “Please touch me, mommy.”
“What did I tell you, whore?” you seeth, slapping his erect cock. His cries fill your ears as you stroked him slowly, teasing him as you went. “You only speak when Mommy says so, right?”
“Want you to make me cum.”
“What the fuck are you so stubborn for?” you retract your hand from his length, tuning on the vibrator that was stuck in your free hand for long and pressing it on his ass. “Didn't I tell you to wait, huh?”
Whimpers turn into cries as you thrusted the small vibrator in and out of his tight hole, and you can only laugh in satisfaction at the way he was practically desperate to be touched by you.
“Ah! I'm so sorry, Mommy!” he shouted desperately in defense as you turned up the intensity of the vibrator. “Won't do it again, please, Mommy! Stop!”
You don't cease, but you latch your mouth on his cock, fervently sucking on him. You can only moan against his length as you go, feeling yourself getting wet as well. No matter how you wanted to be touched and pleasured, you had to assert dominance. Stick to the pact.
“Mommy, I'm so close!” Heeseung wails, his elbows making thudding sounds against the mattress. his toes curled up as you licked all over his tip. He had to wait before he could release all over your face and he hated it. Fuck, he so hated it.
“Now, come all over me.” you command before enveloping his cock with your mouth again, closing your eyes as you wait for him to release in your throat. With a few pumps, he cums inside your mouth, moaning loudly as he did so.
The lad sighs in relief as he makes his release, slightly relaxing his tensed muscles. You swallow, turning the vibrator off and retracting it from his ass.
“We're not done yet.” you remarked, crawling on the bed until you were parallel on top of him. “I'm giving you a chance to show me what a good boy you are. Understand?”
“Yes, Mommy.” he desperately nods, feeling the sting of the silk tie that was restraining his hands. “I'll be your good boy.”
“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” you grin as you strip yourself off of your bra and panties, revealing your naked body to him. His cock twitches at the sight of the slight bounce of your breasts and the wetness of your pussy. “Aww, my baby boy’s so eager for me.”
You sink into his cock, your moans filling the room at the same time. He felt thick as he stretched your walls, and the constant twitching of his tip didn’t help you, either. You marvel at the sight of him—so small and so submissive under your authority. You never thought it’d come to this, but you were enjoying every single bit of it.
Noticing his wincing expression, you messily untie his wrists, rubbing the marks that the tie left. Of course, you weren’t going to go all harsh on him, and he loved that about you.
You slowly rock your hips against his, letting his hands find your thighs and touch wherever he reaches. “You feel so, so good, baby boy.” you mewl, propping a hand on his chest. “Only for me.”
“Only for Mommy.” Heeseung echoes as he weakly squeezes your hips, weakly meeting your thrusts. “I like you, Mommy.”
“Oh, I fucking do, too!” you nod, not fazed by his sudden confession.
He almost squeals in joy knowing that you felt the same towards him just as he felt about you. You grin as you see his smile, eventually giving in and pressing your body onto his as you bounced on him slowly. Through lidded eyes, he saw how you beamed and in his eyes, You looked so beautiful in your current state. In pure euphoria, he throws his head back as your lips kiss all over his chest, leaving some hickeys on your way.
You yank the chains to pull him closer to you, letting him kiss you, letting him taste the cherry lip balm that you never stopped using. You laugh against his lips, feeling for his neck. You then press your thumb and middle finger on the sides of his throat, making him feel a little bit lightheaded, but not asphyxiated.
The way he bucks his hips against yours let you know that he was about to reach his high again, and you kiss his tear-stained face as you both reach your highs—you clenching all over him and him filling you up with his cum.
Heeseung feels like seeing stars as he feels the tight sensation all over him, holding onto your ass as you milked all of his release.
After you have ridden out your highs, you loosen your fingers on his neck and unleashed him, feeling very euphoric as you both catch your breaths.
The room was filled with silence as the two of you stared at each other’s fucked out faces, breaking into peals of laughter after a second or two. You lazily press a kiss on his lips again, to which he returned ever so lovingly.
"Did I hear you right?” heeseung whispered, sliding a finger along your spine. He stares at you with his doe eyes, and you feel your heart break a little. You nod, propping your arms onto the mattress to be able to get a clearer view of him. “You really do like me?”
“Well, why the fuck would I make you jealous by kissing Sunghoon, then?” you giggle, making his expression glum as he remembers how he saw you kiss your best friend. “You're one of a kind, hee. I’d like to get to know you more.”
With your words, his heart flutters. Never did he think that he’d fall into one’s trap after telling himself that he will never take interest in someone all these years. He pulls you in for a kiss again, not bothering to pull out just yet. You feel his heartbeat on your fingertips as he holds you close and tight, lips still moving rhythmically with yours.
From there, he promised himself that he would go through hell and high water for you.
notes: AAAAAAAAAAA this is for all my sub!heeseung hoes who love seeing the gentle giant fold 🤩 fun fact: this actually got plagiarized in ao3 as a heejake fic and i was scared for my life (i have the rights to my fic idk why i was anxious that time, maybe bc it was my first time getting my fic plagiarized?) anyway, this is also an old fic of mine way back in 2021. hope you enjoy, luvies!
NSFW TAGLIST [OPEN]: @thots4hee @jaylaxies @ddeonuism @jojayke @vernonluvs-archived @puphee @forjongseong @jaeyunsz @muffinminnie @shu-ramyeonz @poutyjaeyun @fairy-junseong @duolingofanaccount @polalvsjy @taetaemylovie @heetro @yizhoutv @lavhikaru @kaislinging-slasher01 @cha0thicpisces @en-archv @simplewonderland @exactlygreatcoffee @lhseth @aerinaga @xwonniex @celeste-hoon @ajayke @enhastolemyheart (send an ask or a dm to be added!)
© criceofpain on tumblr, 2021
#fics: cherry kisses#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen smut#enhypen heeseung#enhypen heeseung smut#heeseung smut#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung#heeseung#heeseung fluff#enhypen lee heeseung fluff#enhypen hard hours
560 notes
·
View notes
Text
Minsung fanfic recommendation part 2
I'm back with my monthly minsung recs > <
again, please always read tags and every story here has mature content!
Hoodie Season by Teasweet - every time jisung wears minhos thing (hoodie) minho goes crazy and jisung as the biggest brat he is uses this for his own good. (the author has locked profile for those who isn't registered in ao3 so if you don't have account txt me on Twitter @.maritiiny and I'll give you pdf)
One too many drinks by ReadingCandle - oh, oh! This one was my absolute favourite. I love it when two dummies in love instead of talking about their feelings they hook up with others to make them jealous. and minho let's jisung to be that kind of dummie until he isn't and read to find out what happens next!
Ruining the Frat Boy: A Guide by Lee Minho by hanahneedssleep - I never mentioned it but (i did millionth times) i LOVE when top seems softie and comes out as absolute maniace lol. frat boy jisung thinks he can top minho but ends up under the absolute mercy of lino (mind you author said it was their first fic and it's one of the best fics i ever read)
Super Bowl by foxiyeny - read it at your own risk T^T misnug public sex in front chan and binnie hehe (running away)
Let your love walk in by adisadastra - you know that jealous jisung is as hottie as jealous minho. from platonic blowjob to non-platonic sex.
Amongst the flock by Mntsnflrs - oh this one is angsty and it was little too angsty for me since i'm too sensitive erm... but yeee happy ending! at was really well written.
Would you make a wish on my love? by brittleheart - oh seems like i read some angsts (I usually don't) but if i did it was worth it! misunderstands and once again not talking about their feelings :( but again happy ending guys!!
The cat('s) boy by inariwife - ok forget angst do yall like hybrid fics? if you don't let me tell you something LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! some maybe be cringe but this one and other I'll recommend later is good. did i ever lied? no! so read my lovely cat hybrid possessive minho and confused sungie fic!
Marking my territory by teorema - i never liked ex to lovers again but with minsung it starts to get my favourite trope. sungies jealous ex marking his territory that's it, that's the fic!
No more secrets by minsungstreet2514 - promised second hybrid fic where minho who hates to think he is owned by someone is in an open relationship with jisung and it takes one look on sungie's ex sex buddy, model like hyunjin to realize maybe it's not that bad to own and be owned.
happy reading! ><
see yall soon ( i hope)
#ao3 fanfic#ao3#minsung fanfic recommendation#minsung fanfic#minsung#han jisung#lee know#skz smut#skz fanfic#ao3 recs#fanfic recommendation
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
childhood friends, a Mark Lee Fiction.
angst, fluff, mark is sooo mark-coded here(?), you and mark are friends since birth, neighbor mark, 2k words
Being Mark Lee's bestfriend at the mere age of 0 was a blessing— some people would say now.
He's handsome, that you admit. He's been this guy that's just popular for no reason at all. He's handsome, good in everything he sets his mind at, and don't forget the fact that Mark, although shy and doesn't really have that much of a close friend, is just simply very kind to everyone he meets.
You thought you would lose him when you two were in elementary and middle school— cause he was that popular. Everyone wanted to play and be friends with him, and you thought he would forget you. Which Mark definetely prooved it to be nonsense, cause he sat and stayed with you every day without failure. When you asked why, Mark just simply shrugged it off by saying, "What do you mean why? We're friends!"
So here you are. Both of you are grown-ups, you will be turning 24 at December and Mark had already hit that age in August.
It's now September.
"Y/N! What you thinking?" He holds your hand tight, smiling— nah, come to think of it, he didn't smile. It's a grin. The Mark Lee™ signature grin.
You come to your senses. Today, you're gonna go to an ice cream shop with Mark and then you two are gonna make some popcorn and watch movies at your house.
"Sorry. I was thinking of us during elementary school."
He puts on a shock expression. "Daaaaamn dude. That was such a looong time agooooo!"
You laugh and shake your head, grabbing his hands so that you can pull him to his Tesla so that he would start driving.
"What? Yo I'm serious! When you said that I felt it in my stomach that like.. yooo that was a long ass time ago," He said. You ruffle his hair, ignoring his sound of protest. "You're saying things that doesn't need any further explanations. As a friend, I'm helping you so that both of us wouldn't waste time and hurry up."
Mark rolled his eyes with a smile on his face, opening up his car door for you first and then for him. You felt your heart skip four beats or something and then ignore them for the nth time.
Don't care about your feelings, Y/N. You said to yourself. Yes, you do have an immense crush— no, no. Yes, you do love him since middle school, but that doesn't matter. What matters the most is your friendship. And you would never want to ruin that.
Seeing Mark spend Valentine's Day with someone else at college hurted you like crazy. He always used to spend it together with you, but at college, he spent it with his now ex-girlfriend. They broke up after a year of dating, and a year of your suffering basically. You try to distance yourself then, but Mark just quite simply won't accept distancing as friendship. He visited your house basically everytime, and he picks you up although you gotta third wheel him and his girlfriend.
There was no drama between you and his ex though. His ex have always been nice, and you two still talk via DM sometimes. You know, replying stories and stuff.
"Y/N! I was asking a question, dude," He said, putting his hand your thighs and squeezing them gently. Things he did as a simple caring gesture since you know him.
"Sorry. I was thinking of my homework. What did you ask?" You lied, gritting your teeth before looking at his gawkingly handsome face. You just wanna kiss that smile off his— nevermind.
"I was thinking, maybe instead of rewatching Mean Girls we could just watch Doctor Strange? I've been dying to watch the Multiverse of Madness thingy, I haven't watch that."
You nod. "I haven't too. We're so lame! That's a disrespect to Marvel,"
He laughs, turning the bluetooth volume to a solid 38, making you both hear Taylor Swift's Labyrinth clearly. The bluetooth is connected to your phone, and Taylor Swift is your favorite singer. You introduce her to Mark and he basically just listen to it with you like the good person he is. You brag to Karina and Ningning all the time that he's a trained Swiftie.
But this song.. this song, you relate to a lot. It's about a realization of being in love, and considering your situation, you relate to it a lot.
You don't really believe in good man and love until you realize you love him. Your dad.. he failed to set example of a man when your family caught him cheating during your elementary school years and even going as far as marriage with the person he's cheating with. Your mom forgived him and they're still together— but the trauma you went through was unexplainable. Since then, your relationship with your dad has been different. His voice sounds annoying as hell and every thing he do, you nitpick and hate. Mark has always been there for you though, he even spent all his savings during elementary school to buy you new toys and ice cream.
You know and believe that Mark is a good guy. Every thing he does have always been positive and his mind never fails to make you fascinated.
"Oh God, why are the Halloween decorations have already been put up?" You ask when you both arrive at the ice cream shop you always go together with. It's a 17 minute drive from both of your house, which is in front of each other.
"Better late than never, Y/N. Let's go," He says, opening his door before opening up yours and opening the door for you.
He ordered a watermelon and vanilla ice cream, which you hated and teased him with since forever. You think that's a weird combination and his love for watermelon should never be brought to an ice cream flavor. You ordered a Lotus Biscoff ice cream, and he have a lot of protests for that as well but whatever. Biscoff for life.
"Do you wanna eat it here or in the car?" He ask. "I don't know. How are you gonna eat it if we're gonna eat in the car?" You ask him again instead of answering his question.
"You can just feed me, I guess." He answers nonchalantly, like it's something normal in a friendship. The blur of lines are making you wanna die, and sometimes you just think to yourself whether or not distancing yourself from Mark is a better option.
"Alright then. Let's eat in the car, whatever," You say. As much as you hate to admit it, you wouldn't really pass on feeding him. Both of you had feed each other since middle school anyway.
Coming home from watching Doctor Strange with Mark, you realize that your feelings for Mark is just growing bigger every day, and you finally decide that you can't do this anymore.
Come on, Mark Lee simply would never look at you more than friends, right?
So you decide to ignore his presence. You ignore all his texts, and even when Mark came to your house and ask for your presence, you had already ask your Mom who knows your crush towards him to tell him that you're not in the house.
You usually go to your work place with Mark cause you and him work only 2,4km away from each other. So whenever he picks you up, you were already gone. It's for the best. You miss him a lot but you realize you'd rather lose him now than losing him to a girl he'll marry later. You can't imagine being her bridesmaid and be happy for them though you're dying.
His nth phone call of the day you ignore without failure today as well. It's been a month of ignoring him and you're kind of used to the feeling of a scratch in your heart whenever you hear his dissapointed and sad voice downstairs. Your phone vibrates, and you see his third message for you today.
markie 🐆🦁
Y/N it's been a month. i don't know what i did to you but i know you're ignoring me. whats uppp? please answer me. please. i can't afford to lose you.
And there it is again. Your heart hurts like crazy. But whatever. Just sleep through it like always. It's for the best.
It's your first day of period today and you're hurting like crazy. Usually, Mark would be here to comfort you and massage you and all that stuff, but now, you actually think you're gonna spend your birthday tomorrow without him. For the first time ever in your life.
The day you were born, baby Mark had come with his lovely family to visit your family in the hospital. From his and your parents, you heard that you slept next to Mark and he hugged you both as you sleep. Baby Mark even caressed your hair with his small hands, and you have a video that captured that moment. You watched it again, smiling though your eyes are red and teary. You miss him. The thought of not having him around for your birthday hurt you.
You saw that there are no pads left and let out a long sigh. You put on your hat that Mark gave you as a birthday present and put on your slippers. You then go out your door and decided to buy some pads.
Usually, Mark would buy it for you but— ugh! Stop it with the Mark thing.
"Here's your order. Have a nice day," The lovely lady working the cashier register say to you. You smile through the pain you're going through, wanting to step out before a oh-so familiar voice register.
"Y/N?"
It's no doubt it's Mark Lee's voice. You can see through the side of your eye that he's currently looking right at you with his worried sad eye with his right hand holding a cola.
You don't know what to do. So you run through the door, ignoring Mark's shout of your name as he chases you. It's like the game of chase you two used to play back in elementary school. You cry, you really don't know why but you cry. Passing your house, you run to the park and decided to catch your breath by sitting at one of the slides. You and Mark used to play at that slide all the time until you both grew up.
You look everywhere, and close your eyes when Mark isn't in your sight anymore. You stay in that position for 3 minutes, and when you open your eyes. You almost jump from your seat as you see Mark squatting in front of you sitting in the slide with teary eyes.
"Why— why are you avoiding me?" His voice breaks as he turns away from you, and you can clearly see him wiping away his tears before looking at you with eyes that you swear can make anybody cry. So you become teary eyed as well.
"I'm not." You reply shortly, before standing up to go back to your house. He snorts out of disbelief. "Sit down, Y/N. We're not done talking and if this is the last— if this is— if this is the— if this is the last time we're talking, I don't want it to be an open ending."
You really can't believe that word. You want to just cry your eyes out for 100 years after hearing that word, so you sit down. You want closure as well.
"I know damn well that you're avoiding me. And I really don't know what I did to make you piss off like that. Heck, Y/N, I was jokingly strangling you as we watch Doctor Strange and we were laughing like crazy as well. At some point you even drank a portion of my iced americano. I don't know what I could've done to make you ignore me after all that fun. And I'm honestly so.. I don't know anymore. I'm so sad, Y/N. Mom said she never saw me cry this much. I can't even dare to say that you're ignoring me just because I don't believe that word. Just tell me why are you avoiding me? Am I not good enough as a friend? What am I lacking so much that you decide to ignore me? Why do you do all that while you're here looking as hurt as I am and—"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" There. You say it. You blurt it out loud. Whatever. You don't care anymore. You are in your most vulnerable and raw feeling and you don't even care anymore.
He closes his mouth. He looks at you with some expression you don't even know what it means. But you continue your words as tears flow from your eyes, "I love you, Mark. I love you since forever. I know you don't feel the same, so I'm taking a step back. I don't wanna be your friend anymore. I don't think I physically and mentally can. It's for the both of us. That way, whenever you have another girl it'll be easy for me, for you, and for your girlfriend. Just please let me be. I'm gonna go home. I don't want you to follow me. Let's just pretend we don't know each other and let me enjoy this heartbreak in peace for God's sake. Please just— please," You stop talking as tears and emotions just stream through your whole body.
"Y/N.." He says. And you just can't anymore. You walk away.
You walk for 11 seconds before his hands reaches you. You shout. You literally shout. You told him not to follow you anymore, what is he trying to do? Stop fixing a friendship that literally cannot be fixed anymore!
"STOP IT!" You screamed. You looked at his eyes with anger until you catch his sad, teary glares.
"Y/N, hear me out. Please?" He says. And after a few thoughts, you decides that he can have a few say in this situation.
"I love you too," He says, smiling through his tears as he hugs you. You're puzzled— standing there and doing nothing as he hugs you close, brushing your hair with his hand, kissing the top of your head as he takes a breath of your scent he missed.
"W-what?"
He laughed, eyes still in tears as he let go of the hug but still intertwining both your hands together. "I love you too. I loved you since elementary school or something like that. Then you had a crush for stupid Choi Hyunsuk in college and I found another girl in college. But even then I realise that my number one, my Mom excluded— has always been you. So then I love you again, up until this moment. You should've just communicated this and not cut me off. That's not nice, baby."
Baby.
Baby.
Baby.
The nickname rings through your head, all the way to your heart because it starts beating unrealistically fast.
"What?"
He laughs again. "Just... I love you. Do you maybe wanna be my girlfriend then?"
You never say yes so fast.
And there it was.
Your birthday.
"Are you really going to spend it without me this year?" He ask as you two eats your favorite cake; a Lotus Biscoff Cookie Cake.
"Yep. That was my plan, until.."
"Until?" He asks with a teeth-showing smile and one eyebrow up. "Well.. until this." You reply, kissing him as you hug him tight.
You can't believe it, but he's all yours.
author's note: HELLOOOO EVERYONEEE! TvT THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR READING!! Please do tell me your opinions and thought and whether or not you like a second part where it shows more of Mark and Y/N's relationship 🥺 have a good year wherever you are!! stay healthy and eat well peeps!
#mark lee fluff#mark lee scenarios#mark lee x reader#mark lee x you#nct mark lee#lee mark#nct dream fluff#nct dream scenarios#nct dream#nct dream x you#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 x you#nct 127#mark lee#mark lee angst#mark fluff#mark lee smut#mark smut#nct dream smut#nct imagines#nct#nct mark#nct fluff#nct angst#nct x you#nct scenarios#nct fanfic#nct smut#nct 127 smut
204 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know . ft: Huh Yunjin ♡ smut
dom!yunjin x sub!reader (f)
Prompt: You're the 6th member of Le Sserafim and you two are at the dorm alone in your separate rooms. Yunjin comes into your room to hang out but the unexpected happened ..
CW: humiliation kink , mommy kink
Throughout the Lesserafim dorm, there was a complete silence except the only that that was loud. Lee Y/n . You were always complaining about something either you were bored , hungry , or something was upsetting you. You being the maknae in the group gave you cute attention. It was just you and Yunjin at the dorm today since all the other members had busy schedules but you and her got a day off. If you had to be honest you had the Biggest. Crush. On. Huh. Yunjin. Forever.
While in your room you were only wearing the most comfortable hoodie, some workout shorts and a pair of socks. Not gonna lie you were there on your desk eating noodles while watching Never Have I Ever. You would scream from time to time if Devi (the main character) did the most unexpected.
"WAHH DEVI-SSI YOU'RE CRAZY" You screamed . You knew Yunjin could hear you through the thin walls of your dorm, but you kinda didn't give a fuck. When you were watching, a sex scene appeared (again, unexpected) you changed it so fast because you always felt like someone was watching. You changed the show and started watching Le Sserafim edits and you came across this one Yunjin edit. You kept replaying it and replaying it, it was the hottest edit ever. literally.
You were so into it to the point where YOU DIDN'T SEE YUNJIN WALK IN. (shes been in there for at least 2 minutes) "Lee Y/n" she says sternly. You jumped. "Yunjin ! " you shut the laptop so fast.
" What are you watching hm? Is that me? Damn I look hot" . She sits on your bed which is right behind you.
" That's because you are " You mumbled to yourself I don't think she heard you, but we'll see.
" Oh ? Do you want me to fuck you Y/n ? " she moves behind your chair while you're still facing your computer and noodles. You stayed silent. You're getting wetter and wetter by the second.
She bends down behind your chair and whispers in your ear " I know you have a crush on me Lee Y/n. "
You didn't know what to do, your body was burning up super fast, the blood rushing up to your cheeks and everything was just so overwhelming to the point where you just .. you run out of your room and try to rush to the bathroom but before you could even close the bathroom door, Yunjin forces it to open right on time.
" Why are you running baby ? What's the point in running now? I know about your secret. " She pinned you to the bathroom wall with her face constantly breathing on your neck. You feel like you were gonna faint.
You avoided her gaze until she grabs your jaw and forces you to look at her "You want me to fuck you don't you? You want my fingers, my tongue, to pleasure you, is that right princess? " You stayed quiet for a few seconds. She decided she was so done with you keeping quiet so she took her fingers and started toying with your clothed clit. "Let's see if you can keep quiet now baby. " You whimpered and you moaned to the point where you were gonna cum already just by small teasing.
Yunjin stopped her movements and asks again "I'm gonna ask again. You just want my fingers right? Oh, and my tongue to fuck you. Answer me, or I'm not continuing at all" .
"P-please mommy n-need your fingers" you whined.
" Can't even form a sentence princess ? You can do better than that, I know you can. "
"Mommy! Please I-I just want you to fuck me so I c-can only remember y-your name! " You screamed because you were that needy at that point. " Good girl. " She said.
She took off your workout shorts, your hoodie, and underwear then pulled you in for a long kiss where you would lose your breath right after. " Fuck you look so pretty like this " she moaned. She trailed sloppy kisses over your neck and your collarbone only making sure to mark you where your fans wouldn't see. You were dripping wet at this point. She made her way to your breasts. Sucking on one then with her other hand, toyed with your other. She made her way down to the place where you needed her the most "Enough with the teasing already! " You said. A slap came down to your cunt. "Awh baby, you shouldn't have said anything now you get to wait longer. "
She tested for so long you were starting to lose hope. "Tell me why you were watching that edit of me for that long hm ? " And all of a sudden she slammed her fingers into you and started to pump crazy fast you couldn't take it anymore. You felt like you were just gonna collapse on the ground at that point since you are standing up for this long. " Answer me or i'll leave you here like a mess. " as she continued her movements.
"F-fuck because ... you w-were just so h-hot" You stopped between each word and you're usually not like that because on your MBTI you're a ESFP (extroverted). " Yeah ? I was hot? Tell me more. " She said while looking you straight in the eye never losing eye contact.
"Y-you were s-so hot I just hadtokeepwatchingbecauseIhadthebiggestcrushonyou" You blurted it out all in one sentence she barely even understood .. All you knew was that you were about to cum. "Mommy please don't stop. " You were the most neediest girl in the world right now. She finally let you cum and you came so hard everything was dripping down your thighs. "You did so well for me baby, let's get you cleaned up. " She gives you a peck on your cheek.
Ever since then you both became girlfriends without the company knowing and only the girls knew about you guys. Surprisingly two years later and they never found out 🤷🏻♀️ .
#yunjin smut#le sserafim smut#le sserafim x y/n#female reader#le sserafim#kpop smut#smut#huh yunjin#huh yunjin smu#huh yunjin smut
192 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
alidawsonfrancis-blog
whisperer
humavnnews
humaVNnews
theivorlegov1
Ivor Legoff
olivier-aubry-blog
atelier AUBRY