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Have a friends survey, because I’m really missing mine.

-- List 8 Friends of Either Gender --

1. Andrew 2. Jo 3. Aya 4. Gabie 5. Hannah 6. Angela 7. Laurice 8. Aliyah

Questions About These Friends

Does number 4 have a driver’s license? Yeah. I’m pretty sure we were part of the first few people in our high school batch who learned how to drive and get our licenses.

Can number 7 speak another language? Well yeah, she can speak Filipino. Everyone on the list can at least speak Filipino.

Does 2 know your parents well? Not so much. She knows the basic stuff about my parents that I tell everyone, like how my dad works abroad.

Have 3 and 5 been in the same room together? Multiple times, until Aya graduated. All three of us were in the same applicant batch in our org so we spent a loooot of time together.

Does 1 have similar music tastes to you? Broadly, yeah. I know we both like R&B and hip-hop but he’s faaaar more passionate about the genre and he’s a lot better at picking out artists and songs.

Has 6 ever stayed at your house? She’s visited a handful of times, but I prefer going to her house instead. I don’t really have a lot to offer here whereas we never run out of things to do at her place.

When did 3 last text you? If we are talking of strictly texts, November 2018. Aya was never a good replier on text lol. But my last notification of her in general was at 4 AM today, when she sent a meme to our friends’ group chat.

Does 5 have any pets? If so, what do they have? Nope. WELP I don’t know actually. She lives all the way in Bacolod so her home life doesn’t get raised much. I know she loves dogs though.

Does 7 live in the same town/city as you? Nah, she’s a south baby through and through.

Have you ever lent something important to 8? I’ve never even met her yet. We keep planning to especially since she works in Metro Manila now, but our schedules just never work out.

Can number 1 sing well? Yes. He’s done a lot of singing gigs and as far as I know he even put out an EP at one point. He has a sick stage name too.

Does 2 have any siblings? Nah, she’s an only child.

If 4 called you at 2 AM, what would your reaction be? Take it and assume she has trouble falling asleep.

Who is 8′s best friend? I’m not sure; I don’t know her all that well. I would assume it’s someone all the way in Mindanao, since that’s where she grew up and went to school and her whole life is there - she really only moved to Metro Manila for work. That’s why I feel for her sometimes and keep offering to meet up, so she can feel less lonely.

Does 6 have a favourite tv show? If so, what is it? She loooves watching TV series but I never knew what her favorite is. Good question, I’ll have to ask her this soon.

Who out of 5 and 7 knows you the best? I say they both know me on the same level but I think Laurice does slightly more. We’ve had deeper conversations, so it’s a safe guess.

Does 4 have a boyfriend/girlfriend? You are reading her answers right now. ;)

Does 2 have a career/knows what they want to be? Yes, she’s always wanted to be a journalist. She’s entering her senior year now and I’m really proud and super impressed with her for being able to keep up such a demanding, brutal passion; I was burned out from journ by freshman year. She even helps run a fact-checking website now :) It had just been a requirement in her class to come up with a fact-checking website but theirs got SO successful, racked up some awards, and now it’s still going.

Have you ever kissed 1? No. He’s like a brother to me and that just sounds like the weirdest scenario.

Does 3 have or want children? Yes. I know she wanted them when she was with Jo, but I’m not sure if she’s changed her mind lately.

Does 6 have any piercings or tattoos? Yep, on her ears.

Do your parents know 8? No. She’s an internet friend, so I never get to raise it in conversations. And I doubt they’ll be happy if they found out I made a friend on the interwebs anyway.

Which Number...

Have you had romantic feelings for? 4.

Have you told a secret to? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8. I’m pretty open with my secrets, as dumb as that sounds lol

Have you shared a bed with? 2, 3, 4, 6, 7.

Have you watched a movie with? I remember watching The Devil Wears Prada with 2 and 3. I’ve watched several movies with 4.

Have you seen cry? 2, 3, 4, 6.

Have seen you cry? 1, 4, 5. 5 hasn’t seen me cry but she has definitely heard me.

Have cooked you something? 6 and 7 :) They’re also the biggest mom friends on the list, so I’m not surprised.

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? 1, 4, 6. I’m not sure if 2 and 3 are still together; we never get to update each other anymore. Have met your parents? 2, 3, 7 from a meeting we once held at my house. And 4 and 6, of course - they’re my mom’s favorites.

Have been to the same school/college as you? Everyone except 8.

About Number One What age are they? He turned 22 in June.

Have you met their parents? Never. He can’t give less of a shit about his dad so I don’t care for him, though. I know he’s super protective of his mom.

Have you ever been in a relationship with them? Not at all. He wouldn’t be my type, and like I said he’s a brother to me more than anything else.

Do they like most of your other friends? We mostly have mutual friends, so. I know he likes my best frieinds though - he was even the one who reminded me about putting Angela on my thesis acknowledgments.

How often do you two meet up and/or talk? Back in school we used to see each other around 1-2 days a week. He’s a little busier than I am since he takes side gigs, so he’s not in campus all the time.

When did you last argue? We’ve never fought but the last time I got quite upset with him was last December. We were rushing to get our thesis draft submitted on time and apparently he submitted the file to our professor’s VIBER. He for sure got an earful from me that day.

What is their favourite food? I’m not sure. He does tend to have unpopular food opinions so I wouldn’t be surprised if his favorite is not a common choice.

Where is their favourite place to be? On the basketball court or anywhere with Leigh, I’m guessing.

How many close friends do they have? I know of at least two - JM and Blanch. He is friendly and has an extensive circle though, so I’m sure I’m missing several other close friends of his.

Number Two What colour are their eyes? Dark brown.

Have they known you the longest? Not at all. I’ve only known her for three years.

Where were they born? I’m guessing it would either be Manila or Makati.

Why are they your number 2? She just fell on the second slot. I was trying to randomize my friends’ names and hers just turned out to be the second one I thought of.

Do they like children? I don’t know how she feels about them exactly but one thing I know is that she doesn’t hate kids, and we’ve had numerous conversations on what we’d do in certain scenarios involving kids. 

Would they beat you in a race? I think so. But then again I did track at one point, so I’m walking onto that contest already with an advantage.

When did you last spend time alone together? Ugh c’mon man, this question is just sad. Jo had been hanging out at Skywalk less and less ever since most of the people in our friend group graduated last school year, so our last real hangout was probably that time we slept over at Laurice’s in June 2019. We never hung out a lot after that, and of course the lockdown just killed any chances we had of doing so.

Do they have a pet peeve? What is it? She has a lot of pet peeves but I can’t place any of them at the moment.

Number Three What is their hair colour? Black, as do most Filipinos.

What is their job, if they have one? Last I heard she got a gig with a major broadcasting network. I think she’s a segment producer? Segment researcher? Something of the sort.

Do they have their own place? I don’t think so; not just yet.

How many brothers or sisters do they have? I know she has a sister. I’ve forgotten if she has a brother.

Have you ever done something illegal with them? Yes hahaha illegal in university terms, at least. When we had free time and we saw that no one was using one of the classrooms in the college, our friend group snuck inside and played The Devil Wears Prada on the projector. As the only goody-two-shoes in the group I was super uneasy the whole time, but literally no faculty or staff checked in on us for the entire film. That was the moment I knew I was no longer in private school, where everyone watched you like a hawk lol.

How old were you when you met each other? I was 19, she was 21.

Are they more sporty, arty or academic? ARTSY. She’s one of the best artists I’ve ever seen and she can absolutely fucking slay any editorial cartoon.

Have you ever travelled out of country with this person? Nope. I would love to.

Person Four Do they have a favourite musician? St. Vincent’s been her fave for the longest time.

Have you drank alcohol with this person? Many times. When I drink she’s usually around.

Are their parents together? Yes.

What do you enjoy doing with them? EATING OUT!!! I also love going to new places and museum strolling with her, but yeah nothing works for me better than food with my favorite person.

When is their birthday? June 5th.

Do they have long or short hair? Long.

Have you been to a concert with this person? Yes, when we went to (illegally) see Coldplay from the top of a parking lot. Still felt like we were part of the concert grounds though.

If you asked them to describe you, what do you think they would say? Determined, hates to lose, and annoyingly generous.

Person Five Where did you two meet? I met Hannah on our enrollment day for our sophomore year in college. She and Macy had transferred from UPLB to UPD and since Macy and I were already friends from high school, she introduced me to Hannah. Then we became a lot closer when it turned out we were both applying for the same org.

How long ago did they phone you? We both hate phone calls and we’d hate to call/be called.

Do they have a certain sport they play? I don’t think she’s very athletic herself, but she loves watching UAAP games and she has a particular affinity for volleyball.

What about them annoys you sometimes? I never found her annoying. I did notice that her one weakness as a co-worker is her fear of being assertive, putting her foot down, being confident to come up with her own steps on how to come up with steps towards a situation, that kind of stuff. She often wanted someone who she felt like was more knowledgeable to be by her side and make all the decisions. But I did see her bloom a bit after a few months, so I’m proud of the progress.

Are they ruled by their head or their heart? Heart.

Are they male or female? Female.

In what ways are they the opposite of you? She’s religious and she loves to sing and perform.

How many rooms do they have in their house? No clue; I’ve never been to her house. I’ve never even been to her city.

Person Six Can they play an instrument? I think she knows *a bit* of guitar. But she’s not crazy gifted when it comes to musical instruments, I know that much.

Are they close with their mother? VERY. And she has no reason not to be - her mom is the nicest and most compassionate person I’ve ever met. Always treated me like family.

Do you know any of their siblings well? She’s an only child.

How many times have you visited their house? Countless, especially in high school and in our first few years in college.

When did you last go out to eat together? Feb. It was one of the food stalls at The Palace and we needed to eat away all the alcohol lol.

Do they own a bike? I haven’t seen one in her place so I’m assuming no. Her neighborhood is not very bike-friendly to begin with, so it’s understandable.

Do they have a sweet, sour or salty tooth? She has a...green tooth? Hahahaha she likes eating healthily.

What music genre do they listen to most? Pop, pop rock, indie, indie rock.

Person Seven Would you ever consider dating this person? Probably not. She’s SO stable and happy; I’m still working on it. I wouldn’t want to dump my shit on her vibrant and bubbly outlook on life.

Do they prefer cats or dogs? Dog, I think. I don’t know for sure though. 

Are they or do they plan to go to college? To study what? Yes, she’s in her senior year now. She’s also taking up journalism – it’s how we met.

If they did something illegal, what would it be? I highly doubt that would ever happen lmao, she’s super nice and such a goody-two-shoes. If she got caught doing something illegal it’s 100% only because she was with someone who did the thing.

Have you ever shared a sundae with this person? Maybe once or twice.

is their hair dyed or natural? It’s all black now, but at one point she dyed it light brown.

Is this person sarcastic? She can be, especially with people she’s close to.

Is this person more likely to party or sit in and read a book? SIT IN AND READ A BOOK. Literally the most accurate option.

Person Eight Have you ever lied to this person? I probably have. We’ve only ever talked on social media, where it’s a lot easier to tell a tiny lie and get away with it.

Do you know where this person was born? Somewhere in Davao I’m assuming.

Do you know their middle name and do they know yours? We know each others’ second names because have them put out on Facebook; but not our middle names.

Do they have any special talents? If she does, I don’t know about them. She’s amazing at writing though.

What is their starsign? Whatever star sign falls on the first half of December.

What is the first thing you notice about this person? Ever since the time she tweeted that she doesn’t like smiling with her teeth, her smile has always been the first thing I’m drawn to. 

Have you ever had a big row with this person? Never.

Do you like the same types of movies as this person? Not really. We met because she was friends with my friends who liked the same things she did, but when it comes to us we couldn’t really be any more different.

Random Stuff

Which of these friends would you say you are the closest to? Gabie, of course.

Can you remember all of their birthdays? I’ll give it a shot. June 22, December 31, December 5, June 5, January 16, September 15, May 23...and Aliyah’s is in early December, I’m certain.

Is there anything you regret saying to any of them? I guess only towards Gab, because I’m closest with her and we’ve been through the most together.

Which one of these has been there for you the most? Angela.

Which one have you known the longest and the shortest amount of time? I’ve been aware of Gabie the longest (18 years); been friends with Angela the longest (15 years); and been friends with Andrew the shortest (about a year and a half).

If you needed a laugh, you'd call... I wouldn’t call my friends if I needed help...but if I needed a laugh I’d turn to Anj or Andrew.

If you needed advice, you'd call... Mmm I’d pick among Andrew, Aya, Gabie, Angela, and Laurice.

Which one does your parents like the most? ANGELAAAAAAAA. She’s That friend that I can name-drop when I’m asking for permission to go out, and once my mom hears that she’s going to be with me she usually won’t hesitate to say yes haha.

Is there any of these your parents dislike? They don’t dislike any of them but I have a feeling they’ll disapprove of the fact that I made an online friend in Aliyah, especially my mom.

Do any of them share the same initials? Andrew and Aliyah do.

You can invite one with you for a once in a lifetime trip, which one? Angela.

Something you'd like to say to one of them: I miss you. That applies to everyone.

Hidden Beauty - m

trying to keep your identity a secret from the world had his challenges, especially when a boy with a goofy smile decides to give you his attention.

pairing: chanyeol x female reader

genre: smut, fluff, hybrid!au

word count: 6000+

A/N: This is the first scenario I’ve written in over 3 years, so please be nice, lol. I’ve been in a huuuuuge Chanyeol space for like weeks now and this fic had to be done. 

Growing up, you had a faint idea of how you wanted to live your life. Maybe you wanted to find someone who loved you and stay with them the rest of your life until you became old and had grey hairs. Maybe you even wanted to find someone who would want to marry you. But it never worked like that for your kind.

Through the years, the hybrids slowly mixed in with the humans. It was a bit weird the first time the two species mixed, seeing people like you but without ears and a tail, and it frightened you in a sense. The human kids would mess with you, pulling on your ears or stick gum to your long, fluffy tail. You got over it, though. As years passed, it became more natural to see the hybrids becoming friendlier with the humans.

You never trusted them in the slightest. You were scared of them.

Because of this fault, you rarely made friends. You didn't talk to anyone in your school, so people thought you were just mute and didn't bother attempting conversation. You always hid your ears and tail, shoving a beanie over your black ears with brown tips in an attempt to hide them, your tail being shoved into baggy pants held tightly to your waist with a belt.

It wasn't insecurity that had you hiding who you were. It was more fear than anything. Fear to the bullying you might endure if people found out, whether or not other hybrids were out in the open. You didn't want to take the chance.

You first started hiding your appendages when you moved to your new town, some small town in the suburbs of Seoul. Your mom always wondered why, but never asked. You didn't talk to her either. To the world, you were the silent nobody that merely existed. And you were okay with that.

Sitting in your desk, you dragged your pen along your paper making scribbles of god-knows-what while your teacher groaned on and on about hybrid history. You knew all of this, considering your free time was spent scanning through websites upon websites about anything and everything you could find. Your favorite were the Greek gods and their hybrid pets. Whether or not they were real wasn't a huge concern to you. You still enjoyed knowing about them.

A soft yawn left your lips, covering your mouth with your hand that held your pen. 'Jesus,' you thought, looking up to the clock, 'this hour is never going to end.'

A post-it note was slid onto your desk from your right, adorning a black ink that simply said 'Boring, right?'. Your eyes widened softly, and you could feel your ears twitch underneath your hat before you forced them to stop. Your eyes dragged to your right, looking up into the dark eyes of a human. His hair was red, his roots slightly grown out to show the natural dark brown of his hair. His skin was like honey, and his eyes smiled when his lips tugged.

You looked from him to his note, writing a quick 'I guess.' on it. He reached over and took his note back, chuckling softly so the teacher didn't notice. He began writing again, but before he could reach it back over to you, the bell rang, and you were already packed and out the door before he could talk to you any more than he already had.

Lunch period was next, and as always, you stood in line to grab your sandwich and apple juice so you could head to the library to stick your head in another book. Maybe they had some you haven't read already today.

"Hey!" You heard someone yell. You didn't bother looking over, you knew it wasn't for you. It never was.

Except, today it was. "Hey! You're the girl I sit next to in History, right?" The same man from before trotted over to you, standing much too close for comfort. It was then when you noticed that he towered over you. Your eyes trailed up to his, his goofy smile adorning his face once more. You nodded quickly, staring up with wide eyes. He smiled widely. "Sorry I couldn't continue our conversation. I'm Chanyeol, just started here yesterday." When you didn't reply, his smile dropped a little.

The people behind you in line stared at the two of you, in awe that someone was actually talking to you, let alone trying to make conversation. "Hey, Chanyeol, is it?" Some girl said, walking up to the two of you. Her hair was a faded pink color, kind of like a strawberry blonde color. You looked from him to her as she wrapped her arm around his.

Touchy much?

"Don't bother talking to Alien over here. She doesn't speak anyways. Why don't you come sit with me and my friends?" She said with a smile. She was shorter than you, and much thinner, unlike you. At your nickname, your eyes fell to the floor and back to the line ahead of you. "My name is Rose, by the way. We have English together." She said matter-of-factly.

Chanyeol's smile was gone by now, his eyes switching between Rose and you. He stayed silent for a moment, before speaking up. "No thanks. I don't want to hang around with people who make derogatory nicknames for someone who just doesn't want to speak."

The way her face fell almost made you laugh. Actually, you did. You laughed at his comment, your hand covering your mouth in embarrassment almost immediately after. Chanyeol's eyes lit up when you did, his entire being now focused on you.

With that, Rose huffed off, her eyes rolling as she stammered off to her friends.

"Anyways," He continued, "I know your name's not Alien. But when you feel comfortable, I'd love to know your real name."

He trudged off with his final comment.

"He's cute, you know. Maybe worth talking to." The lunch lady caught you off guard, your whole body jumping at her voice. You took your sandwich and ran back to your comfort zone.

Your next class was English. Coming from America, you had no clue why they made you take this class, but you gave in considering it was an easy A and a good class to draw in.

You noticed Chanyeol across the room, listening intently to the pronunciation of each word before writing it quickly. He was cute, you had to admit. But never in your life would you speak to him.

He was human. You didn't want to even think about it.

You started to draw, focusing on each line you sketched before inking it all out. It was good, your best yet.

Wait, the drawing looked familiar.

Shit.

You absentmindedly drew Chanyeol.

Everything in your being wanted to rip it up and throw it away, but it was your best work. You wanted to cherish him.

THE DRAWING. You meant the drawing.

You head flopped onto the table with a quiet thunk, the ears under your hat hanging low. Before you realized, the homework was being handed out and the bell was ringing. You sighed, sitting up and -

“Is that a drawing of Yeolie?” A female voice who sounded all too familiar was next to you, lifting your sketchbook off your desk, bringing it up into her arms. Your eyes widened, head flinging up to look up at Rose. “Chanyeol! Look! Alien over here drew you! How cute.” She said, holding the sketchbook high above her head.

Chanyeol looked up from packing his bag, eyes furrowing. Before you could sneak attack it out of her hands, she was trotting over to his desk, showing him your drawing.

You could quite literally be anywhere but here right now. Your breathing became panicked, and your first reaction was to run. So of course, your bag was on your arm and running out of the classroom. Some of Rose’s friends, who you’d known since you moved here as Jennie, Lalisa, and Jisoo, were laughing at you as you bolted out. “Hey! Wait!” Chanyeol yelled after you.

You didn’t care if they had your sketchbook anymore. You just wanted to go home. Home was your safe place. But you couldn’t. Not unless you wanted to get yelled at by your mom for skipping school for such a dumb reason.

Your breathing leveled out as you reached your locker, opening it and switching out some of your books.

Your best drawing just HAD to be HIM. Your life already sucked, and this was just the icing on the cake. “Hey.” Chanyeol’s voice startled you, making you hit your hand on the shelf inside your locker in surprise. “Oh, jeez! Sorry.” He chuckled softly. Your eyes lowered again, finding your sketchbook in his hand.

You inwardly groaned, shoving your head in your locker. “Hey, no. It’s okay.” He said with a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry about those girls. They’re assholes anyways.” He said, looking back down to your drawing. “Although, I do really like your drawing. You made me look handsomer than I really am.” You pulled your head out to look at him, slowly reaching out to take the sketchbook back from him.

Your fingers curled around your book, pulling it to your chest while your eyes flickered everywhere.

Why were you nervous? This wasn’t like you. You thought it might be because this was the first time anyone besides your parents were nice to you.

“So, why do you always wear this beanie?” He asked, reaching up to touch it, but you immediately shot up and caught his wrist, shaking your head silently. He caught on pretty quick, a soft blush reaching his cheeks.

You grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on the locker next to your own. ‘It’s a fashion choice.’ You wrote. He chuckled for a second, and you smiled in response. “Well, since you’re talking in a way, how about you finally give me your name?” He asked.

You thought for a second. It wouldn’t hurt to at least give him your name.

You wrote it down and showed it to him. “See, that’s a much cuter name than Alien.” He laughed, before picking your pen from your fingers and writing down numbers on the paper. “Well, ____, here’s my number. I think we can be good friends.” With that, he walked off, leaving you in shellshock.

God, finally. You were home. You pulled off your beanie to let your ears breathe, wiggling them out as they stuck out of your hair. You also traded your baggy pants for some shorts, letting your tail fly free. Your tail was an impressive length, longer than your parents and cousins. Longest in your family behind your late Grandma.

You plopped down in bed and pulled out your bag to get started on homework. Pulling out your papers, you came across the loose-leaf with Chanyeol’s number on it.

You weren’t gonna do it. You’d already gone too far giving your name. What would you even talk with him about? No. You wou-

Damnit, you were already texting him.

[You] Hey Chanyeol. (4:23pm)

[Chanyeol] I would ask who this is but not many people have my number. Look who actually texted! (4:25pm)

[You] It’s not too late for me to block your number, lol. (4:26pm)

[Chanyeol] Yknow, for being so quiet you really are feisty. It’s quite attractive. (4:26pm)

You paused at his last comment, blushing intensely. This was a bad idea, you knew it was, but something kept pulling you to him. Your phone buzzed again with another text.

[Chanyeol]

Shit, did I scare you away? (4:31pm)

[You]

No, it takes a lot more to scare me. (4:31pm)

[Chanyeol]

Ah good. (4:32pm)

The next few weeks had passed and you and Chanyeol texted nonstop. He was quickly becoming your best friend.

Well, only friend. But you get the point.

You and Chanyeol started meeting after school. He’d talk to you and you’d text in response, earning a laugh out of him every now and then.

Eventually, the talks got more serious, about each others deepest fears. He had said his biggest fear was not being able to make a name of himself. With a soft sigh, you texted him that your biggest fear was being exposed.

When he read your message, his eyebrows furrowed. “Exposed? What do you mean?” He asked, looking into your eyes. You didn’t answer, only slowly looking back down to your hands.

“Come on, talk to me. What do you mean by being exposed?” His words were soft as he leaned towards you.

In that moment, you finally said your first words after easily 10 years.

“I don’t want people to know who I really am.” You said softly. He sat there in shock, taking in your voice for the first time. “___… You… You spoke.” He said softly. You nodded softly as a reply. “I’ve always been able to speak. It’s just easier if I didn’t.” You said, looking up to his eyes that were immediately connected with yours.

It stayed quiet for a moment after that, his eyes never leaving yours. “Who are you, really? Who’s the ___ you don’t want people finding out?” His words were hard, yet at the exact same time they were caring. You looked away from him, looking down at the set of bleachers you were currently sat on top of.

“____.” His voice was much more caring now. You knew he wouldn’t let it go until you told him.

But you couldn’t. Not here.

“I want to tell you. I do. But not here. Not where people could see.” You said softly, your voice sounding scared to what he would think. “You’re scaring me, ___. Are you like, a secret axe murderer or something?” His chuckle made your mood lighten, it always did.

“Well, then let’s go to my place. My parents won’t be home. You can tell me in privacy.”

Before you knew it, you were sat in Chanyeol’s car on the way to his house. What in the hell were you doing? You were absolutely insane. THIS was insane. You were going to show him your hybrid limbs? What if he told someone? What if Rose and her clan found out? They’d mock you for the rest of your high school days.

Pulling up to his house, you stepped out to follow him up to his door and into his house. He immediately grabbed your wrist and dragged you into his living room. His eyes were back on you in less than a second.

“Well?” You could tell he was impatient, still vastly curious about what you could be hiding. You hesitated, hands up to your chest gripping each other in almost protest.

But eventually, you gave in under his stare. You reached up to your beanie and slowly pulled it off, your ears low in fear.

His entire demeanor changed upon the sight. “You…” He started, still in disbelief. “You’re a hybrid?” He asked, his eyes fixed on your ears as he studied each and every hair on them. You gave him a soft nod, slowly reaching down to push down your pants, his hands scrambling to stop you.

“Woah, woah. What are you doing?” He said, his hands on your wrists. You continued, pulling down your pants just far enough to let your tail free. He paused once more.

It went on for what seemed like 30 minutes, him taking in the fact you were a hybrid. “C-Chanyeol?” You asked softly, waving your hand in front of his face. He seemed to snap out of his trance. “THIS is what you’ve been scared of people finding out? That you’re a hybrid? ___, there are hybrids all over school. All over the world even.” He said, looking you dead in the eyes.

“Yes, but I’m a cat hybrid. They’re extremely rare and made up from the hybrids that were used for sex slaves up until less than 30 years ago. There are still some that are being held to this day.” You said, your long, fluffy tail wrapping around your leg. He sighed softly, reaching out to hug you.

Your face landed on his hard chest, his arms wrapping around you gently. “Well, if you don’t want anyone to know, I won’t be the one to tell them.” He said softly, petting you gently.

“Holy shit, __. Are you purring?”

A few more weeks had passed and you and Chanyeol had hung out literally every night at his place. His parents were never home due to their jobs or whatever, not that you minded in the slightest. You and Chanyeol always had fun, whether it was watching movies, playing video games, or just chilling and doing homework.

You could tell your guard was down for him. It had been since day one. You didn’t mind it being down for him either. You trusted him. He trusted you. Together, you were a force that had no end.

But this one day in particular, your walls being down was probably your worst fault.

“Hey Alien! Is Chanyeol nearby?” You heard a female come up. It wasn’t Rose, but rather Jennie. Rose and the others were with her anyways, along with a few other girls you knew the faces of but not the names.

Of course, you didn’t speak to them. Your eyes just narrowed slightly before turning back to your open locker and grabbing your stuff. “No? Aw. Too bad. Looks like your sexy giant isn’t here to help you.” She snickered at you as you closed your locker and turned to walk away.

“Oh no no, sweetheart.” Lalisa said, stepping in front of you, blocking you from leaving. “See, we heard a rumor and we wanted to see if it was really true.” She said, a smirk on her face. Once again, you tried to push past her, but Jennie quickly pushed you into the lockers, making you slam your back into the hard metal.

“Trying to run, are we? Is there something we shouldn’t find out about you?” Rose laughed out, walking up to you, leaning close into your face. Your eyes stared dead into hers. Jisoo chirped in behind her. “Are we talking about her crush on Chanyeol or..?” You could tell Jisoo was just roped in without actually being told what was going on.

“No, you dimwit. We’re talking about this.” She said quickly before reaching up and ripping off your beanie. Your ears were now out into open air, and your hands were scrambling to cover them.

All of the girls gasped. “So it IS true!” Lalisa yelled, a large smile on her face. “Oh, now I’m curious.” Jennie said quickly, reaching to your pants and flinging them to your ankles, not only exposing your tail but also inevitably exposing your underwear to the school.

Your hands went from trying to hide your ears to trying to hide your pantslessness. “Oh sweetheart, don’t be shy. We all know your kind is used for sex. Always has been, and always will be.” She laughed at you, backing up to the rest of the girls.

You were mortified. Not only were you exposed to the world as being the worst hybrid breed out there, but so was your womanhood. You didn’t know if you were shocked or scared, but you were frozen to your spot, afraid to move.

At that moment, Chanyeol and a couple of his friends, whom you’d met and learned their names were Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Kai, and Junmyeong, turned the corner and saw everything that was going down. Chanyeol’s emotion flicked from confusion, to worry, to pure anger.

Him and his friends ran over, Chanyeol directly in front of you in between yourself and Rose. His other friends guarded your sides, making sure no one could see you in between them. “Aww, Yeolie is protecting little Alien. How cute.” Jennie piped in, and Rose’s smile only got bigger.

“Yeolie, I don’t know why you hang around that skanky hybrid. We all know it’s out of pity. You and I both know that I’m the girl you want to be with.” Rose said softly, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck. Anger seethed out of every pore Chanyeol owned.

“If you thought that even for a second that I wanted you, you’re sadly mistaken.” He started, pushing her off of him. “The reason I love ___ isn’t because she’s a hybrid. The reason I love ___ isn’t out of pity. The reason I love ___ is because she is sweeter, kinder, and more caring than all of you whores combined. If you thought that getting to me this way was the way about going to say you ‘liked me’, then god damnit I wish you were a man so I could beat the shit out of you. But I don’t hit women, if you could even call yourself that.”

By the end of his speech, he had her backed against the opposite wall. His voiced had dropped to a growl, his eyes seering with everliving rage. “If I ever see you even look at ___ again, best believe you’ll regret it.”

When he turned away from her, his eyes met yours. You had started crying somewhere in his speech not noticing until his eyes were on you. His face softened immediately and sprinted over to you.

His eyes scanned your body for any harm, and when he didn’t find any, he helped you pull up your pants over your tail. You were still frozen, eyes following him quickly in soft panic. “C-Chanyeol…” You said in between sobs, your hands still trying to cover yourself. When he pulled up your pants and tightened your belt around your waist, his hands cupped your face.

He shushed you softly, staring into your eyes. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. You don’t have to worry about anything. Not while I’m here.” He said, pulling you into his chest as you sobbed softly, still in blown panic mode.

A crowd had formed when Chanyeol had backed Rose into a corner. Speaking of which, Rose was still in shock against the wall, her eyes wide in both shock and fear, her friends trying to comfort her.

All that came out of her mouth was “That was so goddamn sexy.”

You honestly thought she needed help.

Chanyeol quickly thanked his friends and each of them tried to comfort you, but you wouldn’t listen. All you needed right now was Chanyeol. He was all you wanted.

“Come on, ___. Let’s go home.” He said softly, dragging you off.

The car ride back to his house was a quiet one. When the two of you got back to his house, it wasn’t much of a surprise that it was the two of you alone. You’d only met his parents 3 different times. They liked you as far as you could tell. He even met your own parents a few times. Your parents liked him a little too much.

He brought you up to his room, changing you into a few of his clothes. Or at least, he gave you one of his hoodies and a pair of his basketball shorts that he no longer fit and turned around to let you change.

When you finished, you hugged his back gently and wrapped your tail around the two of you.

He let out a soft sigh, turning around and hugging you to him. For a moment, there was a comfortable silence. “Thank you, Channie.” You said softly, your face buried into his shirt. “For what?” His tone of voice matched yours, speaking softly as he laid his head on top of yours onto one of your ears.

“I don’t know. For helping me earlier. For not giving up on me even though I went over two months not saying a word to you. For accepting me when no one else did.” You said softly, looking up into his eyes. His eyes were soft and his eyebrows were knit together.

“Of course, ___. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t?” He asked rhetorically, making you smile softly. “Chanyeol?” You had one simple question to ask him. He hummed in response, still staring into your eyes. “What did you mean when you say you loved me?”

Over the last few months, as you and Chanyeol’s relationship grew stronger, so did your feelings for him. Sure, you were still scared of humans, proven by Rose and her cult, but Chanyeol was different. You knew there were good humans out there, also proven by Chanyeol’s friends who knew your secret and still cared for you. But no one out there would ever treat you how Chanyeol did.

Every single late-night movie night, every rant about something stupid, every cuddle after one of you had fallen asleep watching random Netflix movies, everything he did made you fall deeper and deeper for him. It scared you more than anything else in the world. You always feared that falling for him would scare off the one person you cared about most, and the only person who cared for you the same amount as you did him.

His eyes bore into yours, his chest rising and falling against yours. “I meant that I loved you. You’re the most amazing person I could’ve ever met, ___. Every smile you make, every stupid joke that you think is hilarious when it totally isn’t, every little thing you do makes me fall head over fucking heels for you, ___. I said I loved you before, and I’m telling you now. ___, I’m in love with you. I have been since the moment I met you, and it was sealed when I heard your laugh in the lunch line. You’re like a vice grip on my heart.”

Your heart launched for the moon. Slowly, you lifted yourself and placed your lips on his, sealing them together. The two of your lips mended like a two perfect halves of a soul combining as one.

One hand moved to rest on your cheek, the other on you waist as he pulled you in closer, deepening the kiss in the most sensual way possible.

After a moment, he pulled away softly. “Chanyeol?” You said softly. He hummed back in response, his lips slightly swollen. “You know, the way you talked to Rose earlier was kinda hot.” You laughed out, and even got a laugh from him as well, showing his all too familiar goofy grin. “Maybe I should get angry at people more often then.”

When the laughter subsided, you gave him a soft smile, before opening your mouth to speak again. “Chanyeol…” It would’ve gotten his attention if it hadn’t already been on you. “I want you to be my first…”

His smile completely faded. “Oh, ___… You don’t want that. You don’t want me.” He said softly. His insecurities were his biggest downfall. His eyes fell away from yours, but you grabbed his chin gently to meet your eyes with his.

“I do. You’re the only guy in existance to make me feel as happy as you do. I want you to make love to me. Be my first and my last. Make me yours, Park Chanyeol.” His eyes searched yours for any sign of difference, mentally asking you if you were sure about everything you just told him. He couldn’t find a single shred.

Slowly, once more, his lips found yours. The warmth of his lips spread along yours like wildfire. His tongue dragged along your bottom lip, and you, albeit excitedly, allowed him access. The kiss grew deeper by the seconds, becoming much more heated yet with the same amount of love and care that was there moments ago.

The two of you stumbled backwards until the backs of your knees hit his bed, and slowly, he laid you down as if you were the most fragile thing in the universe. Your lips never broke, only until he pulled away to give kisses to your neck and jaw, tonguing them with the amount of care he would give his most prized possession. You let out a soft purr when he found the sweet spot on your neck, and eagerly, he nipped on it, leaving an easy mark on the virgin skin.

It wasn’t until you started grabbing at his shirt that he pulled away and held your hands. “Baby, let me take care of you.” His words were soft and caring, but he still didn’t hesitate to lift his shirt over your head, careful of your ears. You were left simply in a bra and his shorts, suddenly feeling much smaller than him, as if you hadn’t known this simple fact before.

He stepped back for a moment, taking in the new amount of skin on display. “God, you’re gorgeous.” He said softly before attaching his lips to your collarbone. This is where he left his second mark. You let out a wanton moan, drifting into his ears like a symphony.

“Can I take this off?” He asked softly, his thumb stroking your bra, and you nodded a little too excitedly. You’d be lying if you said that none of these actions sent heat directly to your core. He slid his hands behind your back and tangled with the clasp before finally getting it off. He pulled it off of you and flung it on the floor somewhere behind him, neither of you caring as the moment.

His lips found your neck again, his tongue lapping downwards until it reached you nipple, his teeth scraping gently across it before tugging on it, sending a moan out through your lips. He soothed the area afterwards with his tongue, using his hand to play with the other.

His lips began traveling lower until he reached the edge of the shorts you were wearing. Once more, he looked up to you as a silent question of consent, to which you wrapped your fluffy tail around his waist and nodded. He smiled softly as he began to pull both your pants and underwear down in one fell swoop with the help of you lifting your hips.

He stood back once more, taking your body in in all of its glory. You took the moment to rake him over as well, noticing he was still fully dressed in contrast to your full nudity. “Chanyeol…” You whined out, getting his attention. A quick flash of worry came over his eyes, moving to hover over you again. “What is it, baby? We don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.”

You wanted to laugh at how soft he was, but you were so hot and bothered that you couldn’t bring yourself to. “You’re still fully dressed.” You said simply, and immediately you saw the worry in his eyes dissipate. He chuckled softly and nodded, standing back up and pulling his shirt over his head. It’s not like you haven’t seen him without a shirt on. You’d actually walked in on him fully naked before on accident. But this was a completely different scenario, and seeing him like this casted a different light on the two of you.

He was now shirtless in front of you, and you took the moment to study every single curve this boy had. He reached down to undo his pants and slide them down his legs, tossing them somewhere with the rest of your clothes, leaving on his boxers alone.

Once more, he climbed on top of you, pressing his lips to yours in another heated kiss, his hands slowly trailing down your body, tracing every single curve you had before finally resting a hand on your mound, cupping it softly.

You sighed out his name, and it pretty much sent him into action. He made avid work kissing every inch of your body until his face came directly in front of your core.

Slowly, he dipped one finger in between your folds, immediately getting drowned by all your juices. He let out a groan. “Damn baby, so wet and I hardly even touched you.” He chuckles, slowly leaning in and giving your clit the tiniest kitten lick, sending your back arching upwards off the bed.

He paused for a moment, studying your reactions. Slowly, he trailed a flat strip up your cunt, making you let out a loud groan. You had never been touched before. Not like this. And Chanyeol could definitely tell.

His tongue went to work on you, lapping languidly at your clip with almost expertise movements. A single finger prodded your entrance, slipping in with ease due to your juices pooling below you, curling upwards as if knowing your body like the back of his hand even though having never touched you before.

“Chanyeol…” You whined out, “Please… I need you…”

He stood back up, leaning over you and kissing you roughly, yet still with care, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. “You taste amazing, Kitten.” You giggled softly at the name, considering the irony of it.

Any sort of laughter you had died down when he finally removed his boxers, his cock flinging up and hitting his stomach. He smiled down at you, before leaning over and pulling a condom out of his side table.

After rolling it on, he slowly lined up with your entrance. “It’s okay if it hurts, love. It’ll only be for a moment and then it’ll be over. Just focus on kissing me, ok?” He said softly, his arms around you and his eyes staring into yours.

You nodded softly, and with that, his lips were on yours again. This time around, it was much more sweet and careful, his tongue moving in ways to attempt to distract you when he finally thrusted into you. The stretch stung, but you were so wet that it didn’t hurt at all. In fact, you moaned into his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He groaned in pleasure when you took him all the way to the hilt, pussy sucking him in so amazingly. You got adjusted pretty quickly, squeezing your muscles around him to tell him to move.

When he started thrusting, it was slow, feeling every ridge and vein of each other with only love shared between the two of you. His hand reached up to yours and intertwined your fingers, his lips still moving against yours slowly.

You attempted to chase an orgasm in any way, but it probably couldn’t be done at this pace. “Chan… Faster…” You moaned out, and he stilled for a second, letting go of your hand with a quick nod. He sat up slightly, a bit more of an angle for him to reach in between your bodies, trail one hand up your body and wrap around your neck, squeezing softly, before pulling almost fully out and slamming back into you.

“God! Fuck!” You moaned out, your back arching off the bed with each thrust, the next just like the one before it. “That’s it, baby…” He moaned out, moving his hands off your neck in trade for your hips, gripping onto them and somehow thrusting faster than he had before.

You were left a moaning mess with each and every thrust, eyes rolling back into your skull and whatever sanity you had left was twisting into itself in your core, the tightening in your lower stomach giving it’s telltale sign. “Fuck, Chanyeol! I’m gonna cum!” You yelled out.

He only took this chance to move his hand to play with your clit, rolling it in circles. His thrusts began to get sloppy, and you figured that he was going to cum as well.

“Cum with me, Chanyeol…” You said to him, your fucked out tone of voice hitting him deep, the core in the both of you bursting simultaneously. He continued to thrust into you, riding out the both of your orgasms. With a final thrust, he curled foreword, laying on top of you, both of your ragged breaths heating up the air around your sweaty bodies.

You couldn’t say anything, your mind was in the clouds by now, and all you could see was him pulling out of you and walking away, coming back with a pair of shorts on and a warm rag to clean you up.

He laid down next to you and quickly your curled into him, your head nuzzling under his neck.

“Chan?” You said tiredly.

He hummed in response, drawing random shapes on your back with his blunt fingernail.

“I love you.” You said happily, drifting off to sleep. But before you drifted off entirely, you heard the one thing he could say to make your heart full.

“I love you too, ___.”

Do you guys remember when this was a studio Ghibli blog and I’d post gifs? 2017 was a good year lol. Anyway. As a child, I never knew I’d thirst for a 2-D otome man, but sadly I’ve stopped. Yes, after two years of obsession, it’s time I retire from the fandom. I’m keeping the blog though. Ran this shit for years, ain’t gonna give up now that my horny-meter has plummeted to an all time record low. Did you guys know blogs don’t have a character limit??

Oh god. I didn’t know this blog would suddenly receive so much attention. Please, I am begging you to not scroll down. It’s endless MysticMessenger posts from two years ago.

Hey, I'm once again: back, you can't possibly have more time than I do. I mean, after all, I made this blog. You're only browsing it. And most people don't even come here. Not even my friends...*sniffle* The just ignore this poor, pathetic little page. All they do is fill out the TAB form and leave. I think. Maybe they're here right now! HI! HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M FINE! THANKS FOR COMING! YES, I'M YELLING! Who am I kidding. This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe people...now that has possibilities. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here and...uh...I'll...uh...send you a sandwich? Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. I'm bored. I'm gonna go hug a moose. MOOSE! I love-d you moose! Hey, I'm back again! Yea...*waits for applause* okay! Now I want all you loyal fans...*cricket chirps* to go to the link to see what I'm like. I took a whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. And I only took the quiz once, too. Spooky how accurate they are...anyway, I command you to go! I'm going. I'm back. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. Let's see: 1...2...3...4...5! Wow. I must really be desperate for something to do. I now officially have proof that someone has been here! It was one of my friends. Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. Maybe. Anyway, moving on! I'm just basically typing nothing. Just like all those reports people have to do. You know? With a specific number of words. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. I salute those people. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! Well. Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. Or maybe not. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. So. I've done what I've set out to accomplish. Yea, me! I'm so special. You see, most people, they don't like reading or writing. So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. (Which I think does not exist) My point is, if you've bothered to read this, then, (like me) you probley have also read the ketchup bottle so many times that you have it down verbatim. Look verbatim up. It's a word. But, you should know that, since you like reading. Or maybe you're just skimming. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. You might be asked a question about them on a quiz show. And now, for the million-dollar question: How many calories are there in a single serving of Mustard? I can just see it now...It could be called Know-Your-Food. Or You are What you Eat. It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. Speaking of food, what's up with pie? There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! I know. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. Think about it. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. What makes them undesirable for pie? Would they dry into raisins? Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a piecrust and bake it? It just doesn't make any sense. Another thing that bothers me is organ grinders. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? Okay. They're basically begging on the street. How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? Wouldn't it make more sense to get a kazoo, if you're broke? And if they're so poor, what possessed them to buy a monkey? I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. Obviously I at least have a computer...so, back to the organ grinders. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill the monkey with the organ and eat it. Why on earth did they keep the monkey? It must have cost a fortune to feed...not to mention the mess. That's just one of those many facts of life that are better left mysteries. Especially since no one but me would ask the question. I better go. I think I hear a monkey...Okay...now I'm back. That's the sixth time I've said back! I realize that this longest text ever must be very boring and not worth anyone's time. But I'd like to take this time to thank the 2 and 1/2 people in the entire universe who have bothered to read this entire thing. I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioning...that's not good...I have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. Or maybe not. This is too frustrating. Goodbye for now...Now I'm back. And still frustrated. But for a different reason. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. Apparently the point of the game was to get your character to shout "Whoo-Hoo!" as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Of course, when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times. Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life. The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points. My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. I hate irony. Seeya. Okay. Now I'm back again. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. It's more like techno talk about arrays and how much I suck and whether or not the Braves will win this year. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. But everything else I've said so far is true. I think. Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimer...Eh-hem. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. Any use thereof that is not stated in the above mentioned statement would make the author, hereby referred to as Patron Saint of Paper Clips, very angry. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. Ooooo…that’s a great idea! I’m gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (that’s me) is allowed to cause vague, pain like sensations while the offending person (or alien life form, dog, etc.) isn’t paying attention. Now I have a purpose in life! To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which I’m sure you have a copy of. No? Too bad. It’s in the mail, I promise! Now I must take my leave…and remember. Cheese is watching. Okay...I'm back...I think that eventually half of this thing will consist of the word back over and over again...that's just weird. Which fits the motif of the rest of the site. There's even a money back guarantee. Isn’t' that nice? See? Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. Especially since I don't have viewers. I have readers. Wait...I really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. Even if I put it in a less chaotic, more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves: reading. Yes. Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. What has the world come to? It's pathetic. Especially since I'm bothering to write all this. It's not fair! Why can't I have more readers?! All the other internet writers have nothing on me, except they're better at advertising, having a central theme/plot and basically more talented. Whereas I'm more into the whole ranting and raving stage right now. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. Which is bad. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. May your day be shiney! I'm back again! And I feel weird! I found at that yet another one of my friends is reading this. Creepy. Just how much time do they have on their hands. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. I can just see it now...an organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace, or love or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. I wonder what it's name would be. Don't Ignore Sites? Would it be called DIS? Isn't that like a slang term for an insult? Would that be considered poetic justice, or just a nice coincidence? And why do I even care? I'll tell you why. Because I have nothing else to do right now. I could be playing neopets, but ever since my bad experience with Treasure Planet, I don't feel like it. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. To prevent this, I did nothing. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problem...it's almost like a game! But without the bad sound track. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. I'm like the little engine that could. Or maybe the Energizer Bunny. I just keep going, and going and going. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. who keeps asking if you can hear him. If my site manages to last a decade, my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what I'm talking about. My answer is simple. It doesn't matter. I'm just rambling. Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Doesn't that make you feel better? I bet it does. Wow. Look how long this has gotten. I even impress myself. Who would have thought I have this much free time? And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. Ooooooo! You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunes...I gotta go!(may the moose be with you) And now I am back. I swear. If iI fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite word...I already have filled it out, though. Would it be cheating to fill it out again? Only if I had multiple personalities. Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? The world may never know. Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Would it vary? The number of licks, I mean. Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? Does the commercial take that into account? No. It doesn't. And let me tell you, it's an outrage. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" Or whatever. And "Mr. Owl" replies "One...Twoo...Three! Chomp" And he bites it. That teaches our youth that it's okay to agree to help someone, and then ruin their experiment. Well...it's not. I am going to start a protest group. Teens Against Cartoon Owls. We could call ourselves TACO! I love the little tacos, I love them good! That is a direct quote from GIR, co-star and comic-relief on INVADER ZIM. Hmmmm...intersting. I put hyphens in both of his titles...it must be a conspiracy! I gotta go. Those TACO buttons don't make themselves, you know. I'm back again. And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. Right now, I have another twenty minutes on the Internet before I'm gonna watch T.V. And I can't think of anything else to do. So, predictably, here I am. It's not like I have anything better to do. Obviously, you know this. After all, look how long this text is. I wonder if I've made the world record? If I did, would I stop this? Why bother asking? I'll will most likely still be adding to this on my death bed. Hmmmmm...has any old, senile person ever written anything? Was it coherent? Did it make more sense that this text? Is it possible to make less sense? Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? Yes. Yes, I am. But I seriously wonder what something written by a senile person would be like. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. But never senile. Can a senile person write? Aren't they regressed to a child-like state? Does it even matter? Is anyone even reading this? Did I resume asking retorical questions? Do you care? Is this eating up time? I feel like I'm playing questions only on whose line is it anway. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazy...hey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! It's really stressfull. Someday, I'm gonna snap and just delete this entire thing. Gee, I hope not! I worked sorta hard on this. It's great for making random topics weave together to form an overall infrastructure of chaos. That made little sense. That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. Ooooooooooooo! I'm gonna quote from the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK again! Yep! I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. Okay. Here goes. Code: 472 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that this site in no way aknowledges the existance of other, better sites (hereon reffered to as the Losers) The Losers are a myth. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) claims no knowledge as to where that particullary nasty rumor started, but confirms that this is the best site ever. It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. Experience vague, pain-like sensations when you're not paying attention) This has been a public service announcement. This is a test, I repeat only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have bought up all the can openers and charged 3 cows and a pig for each one. I repeat, lock all you doors and windows, this is it. I repeat, there is nothing to worry about. Everything is fine. The end is not here. I'm going, you're on you're own! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm back!*smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. And I became inspired to talk about nothing. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. Hmmm...I seem to be entertaining myself though, even while reading what I wrote. Which is why I still go to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website. Because I am easily amused and have lots and lots of time on my hands. Maybe, some day far in the future (like next Thursday) I'll print a copy of this insane text. And then go door to door distributing it. Eventually, this would become a monthly tradition. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. I can just see the whole community rising to thwart my attempts to spread love, joy and insane chaos. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) but if I do, only friends and enemies will receive copies. Hmmmm...maybe my condition is worsening. Or not. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. He is pure evil. TACO will eventually destroy him. Unless he has already been destroyed by an even more radical Anti-Cartoon-Owl group. I hope not. Or, would that be good? I suppose I could let someone else have the glory. After all, I'm not in this line of buisness for the fame, fortune and power. What line of buisness, do you ask? Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. I love owls. Hmm...I seem to be jumping from one subject to another more frequently. Either I am growing more comfortable with my on-line writing, or I am progressivly getting more insane and chaotic. I also am psyco-analyzing myself a lot today...hmmmm...I'm even saying "hmmmmm..." a lot. Just like a real psychologist. Hmmmmmmm. Time for another boring disclaimer!!!!!!! Code: 742 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that in no part does the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (That's still me!) actually claim to be mentally ill. That's either a) a publicity stunt b) An attempt at humor c) a cry for help or d) none of the above You can e-mail your responses by conducting a scavenger hunt of this site. Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. There may also be evil little links that are designed to confuse you. These links send stuff to someone named [email protected] Saint of Paper Clips does not know who this individual is, but sincerly wishes that you send all your hate mail to him. Not that the aformentioned individual claims to have received hate mail (or mail of any kind) via a website link. Thank-you for your time. Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz to the e-mail account, [email protected] Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person again, the handbook quote is over. I just thought that I might like to mention that. Oh. You're still here. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. HA! HA! HA! That's funny!!!! If you you don't have time to waste, what are you doing here?!!! Oh, who am I kidding. I figure that even the people I manage to lure onto my site from neopets don't even bother to come to this particular page. Maybe I should make the link come here directly...Hey! What a good idea! That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! I'm a genius. Gotta go, must lure innocent victems to the second most pointless site ever!!!! I'm back. And really angry, and confused. I've always known that I was weird, that's always been a given. But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. Today we had a "family outing." Now, most families will go bowling, or putt-putt golfing. They may go to a resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a theme park. Not my family! No, we got the greatest family outing of all. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!!*waits for readers to become insanely jealous* Yep, that's right, a bar with a pool table! Not only did we get world class cuisine (under-cooked hotdogs and over-cooked hamburgers), my little sister (age 10) got taught pool by someone I strongly supect is an ex-convict! Naturally when it was announced that we'd be eating dinner in this place, I could hardly contain my excitment(I glared at my mother and asked why we couldn't go to Pizza Hut) When we arrived, we were promptly served (after thirty minutes) In the meantime, we played a family game of pool(my parents played while my brother and sister and I watched) After two rousing rounds, our food came. The food was superb, (our food came the exact opposite of how we ordered it, and half of the onion rings were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game(my sister and the ex-con played my mom) We spent hours there (from 5p.m.-7:15p.m.) There were many people that were the same age as me and my siblings (no one in the room but us were under 30) Us kids had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the bar ( I almost fell asleep during the last game I watched) As we left, there was a feeling of goodwill and fellowship between all(my sister locked me out of the car and wouldn't let me in untill I started yelling profanity in her general direction) The high point of the entire night was when my mother gave me $21 for my report card. She promptly borrowed $1 to help with the waitresses tip(This part I'm not being sarcastic about) All in all it was a night I'll remember forever (as the lowest point in "family outing"history, except for that time my mom dragged me to a church thing on the concept of truth.) My brother(age 13) even decided upon a new job he wants when he's old enough to work, a busboy at the bar. We had to tell him that he would probley have to wait untill he was 21.(Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blind...or stupid) &#!#%&&!!!(*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? BRINGING $#$$# KIDS IN A BAR!? I know it was her idea, 'cause my dad hates it, too. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. *sighs* Why does my life have to be so weird? I'm leaving...now I'm back! And not so pissed at my weird family. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. So...now I am down to one and a half readers. Untill such time that I have more. I wonder why anyone would read this? You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. First of all, you'd have to have an extrodinary amount of free time. Second of all, you would have to have the patience to read through all of this. And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. I admit it. I haven't exactly advertised this site. Nor can I find it on any search engines. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. What must I do to rise above obscurity? I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. I suppose that is the bane of all authors. To pour your heart and soul into a passage, and have everyone ignore it. *sniffle* Why must this be? Maybe I should just give up. After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. They are not great neccesarily because of the content, (although that helps some) they are great because of their sheer length. You can read a little each day. And almost never finish. Also, I guess I still am trying to get the world record. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. Well, I dont want to organize this page, in any manner. This is chaos. And insanity. Not neat little text in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order. If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is no such thing as a site better than this one). Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. Awwwww...I'm touched! You didn't run screaming to another site, thankfull for the chance to escape this insanity. You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! Hey, where are you going?! I thought you were gonna stay here and keep me company?! *drags reader back* See, I knew you'd stay! *gagged reader glares* What's that? I know this is the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better go...I think that I may have a problem brewing. I'm back. And very concerned about this new, younger generation (all 10 year olds who were born in 1992) They are supposed to be the future. Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. I chanced to have an interview with an informant from this evil generation (my little sister) who will be called Mrs. X for security reasons (no, she's not married, the "Mrs" makes it good as a disguise) I was quizing Mrs. X on Civil War History for an upcoming test in her classroom (whose location can not be devulged) Mrs. X seemed fluent in the subject. Using prior knowledge, I deduced that Mrs. X was full of crap. Out of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X who participated in the Civil War. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. She answered: England, Russia, and (out of sheer desperation) Iraq. I believe that she was just listing countries she knows America has fought against. Now, correct me if I'm wrong...but Iraq? I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! Moving on, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm tired of writing Mrs. X) to tentativly guess that America fought in the Civil War. I mean, who'd a thought? America? Fighting in the American Civil War? In a moment of inspiration, I asked her who America fought. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. I said "The Union fought..." With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" I was very proud of her, just as you would be proud of a two-year-old who has just announced: "I WENT POO-POO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. This is because she memorizes the questions. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. You see, if you memorize stuff, you only have to remember that the answer to number 6 is Clara Barton for a week, rather than having to remember that Clara Barton started the Red Cross for the rest of you life. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. You don't belong here. You see...knowledge is good. If my sister...uh...Mrs. X were ever asked a question on the Civil War on a quiz show, she'd come up with nothing. With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. My sister is a big believer in the memorization system. I previous time when I was studying with her (American Revolution, this time) I was trying to help her remember the difference between the Patriots(Patriotic to America) and the Loyalists (Loyal to Britain) She didn't know what the word patriotic meant. I tried to explain. I asked her how you dress on the forth of july (she said nice) I asked what the colors red, white and blue were (pretty). I gave up in exasperation. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. I asked her what the golden rule of christianity was. She didn't know. When I pressed her, she confessed she didn't know what chrisianity was. Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church. This confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have the use of the church's playground equipment. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. Anyway, that's my rant on the new generation that contains my little sister. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. If they're anything like my sister, I'm movin' to Canada. Gotta go...the Russian-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. I'm back! *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) Furthormore, is it considered accepted behavior to talk to these dead reptiles, in a cooey, baby talky kind of voice? Finnaly, is it expected for said sibling's non-gender specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like that as a child" as an excuse? It's an honest question as I fear that my non-gender specific sibling is weird. Who am I kidding? My entire family is weird. It's just a matter of degree. Hey, by the way. I'm sorry that my last few entries have been only about my various family antics. Although I can't see why you care, because there is a large probability that you do not exist, because I don't think anyone is reading this anymore. How discouraging. People need to make the time to waste time. It's a time honored tradition. Who'd thought that I could use time that many times in only a few sentences? It's been pretty quiet here lately, which is why I haven't added anything to this text in awhile. I know, you were just crushed that nothing new was happening. It's a sad, cold, cruel world out there and you had nothing to relieve the monotony of it. *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! Next thing you know, you're internet connection will die. Well, too bad! Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. Time for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK!!! Code: 843 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that in no way is the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who?) responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. Any derogatory statement is simply an opinion of an individual, not of the flaming order of the flaming chickens. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. Okay, quote is done. Maybe I should put quotation marks around them...nah, too much work. But I probably will eventually get around to having a seperate page just for the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK. That way all the members (what members) can print out a copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get that copy in the mail) I guess I'm done for the day...I know. You want me to stay. It's okay. Because eventually, I'll be back! Seeya! I'm back. And once again suprised. When I was at a TAB poetry thingy (TAB is good TAB is great We love TAB) I met some new people. One of these people (who shall remain nameless untill such time that I have explicit permission to use her name) turned out to be almost as weird as me. As in...she read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. The whole thing. So far two whole people (to my knowledge) have read the entire thing, and a few people have skimmed it. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! I'm so happy! That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Perhaps, one day, far in the future, this will actually be a world record and random people will acutally voluntarily read this text every day. Or maybe not. The point is that it is nice to have readers. Or maybe it's not...I mean...won't the quality *snicker* of my work deteriorate if I am no longer writing for the target audience of me? If that happens, then no one will read this. And then I'll be writing for me again. And then the quality will rise. And then people will start reading. And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazy...er. In any case...I should probably find a topic. Yeah...a topic would be good. Or...I could just continue to write about finding a topic. Ooooo! I know a topic! Ice cream trucks! This has been bothering me for a while. You see...when it's hot, you want something cold to eat. Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a conspiracy). As you may or may not know, small children swarm the ice cream trucks. The vendors even play whimsical music which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. The vendors get oodles of cash, and the kids get ice cream. Now, in today's society of buying groceries on-line and getting them delivered, why hasn't any other food industry marketed this ingenius idea to bring the product to the consumer. I can just see Hot Dog, and Pizza trucks roaming the neighbor hoods, selling treats to hungry children...and adults. Of course, said adults would have to peel their butt-cheeks off the couch...but they'd have to do that for the delivary man anyway. The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. Then the problem with obesity in America would be blamed on evil food truck drivers as opposed to the harmless, benificient television and computer. We could all breath a sigh of relief as parents kept their children inside, away from the evil truck drivers and near the T.V. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. Parents would buy their children computers, video games and other television neccesities. This, of course would expand the market for such products. This would lead to a better, more stable economy. Food industires would be buying cars, gas and music. Parents would increase the purchase of entertainment items. In return companies would make a profit, pay their workers better. The workers would then be able to afford more entertainment items and the upward spiral would continue, as opposed to the evil downward spiral of my writing. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemen...if you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. Gotta go...I think I hear a catchy jingle. I'm back...it's been awhile since I've written here. A lot has happened. Like my EVIL school computer deleting my updates page. But it's all good. Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. The following text may spoil the movie for you, so WARNING: do no read this unless you have already seen the movie. Okay. What I liked best was the philosophy on choices. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). It's like this. In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. So...the plan is going to fail. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. The events of Neo's dream unfold. So...when the oracle said that the choice had already been made, she was completely correct. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. He would do everything in his power to keep his dream from becoming reality. So he kept her out of the Matrix, and she saw the problem, and entered the Matrix to fix it. If she had been in the Matrix, she would have likely been with Morpheus, never would have known about the plan's failure, would therefore not have been in the situation that resulted in her death. And the plan would have failed and Neo might have died, along with a large portion of the city (the building was set to blow if there was any intruders) So...Neo's choice to attempt to save Trinity triggered the sequence of events that led to her death. As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. This choice is simply an extension of his original choice: he will save Trinity at all costs. Neo is told that he has two choices. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. Or he can try to save Trinity and doom mankind. No guarantee that he'll succeed in saving Trinity. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. He can deactivate the machines, (squidies) but at great personal cost. The movie ends with him in a coma. Now, you must realize that I have described only one aspect of this movie of all movies. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. I highly recommend you see the movie yourself. I'm sorry that today's rant isn't random, insane or completely chaotic, but I must right my experience with The Matrix before I forget. I am so buying this movie when it comes out on DVD. I love it! You have to admit its sheer coolness. I mean, come on! It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. I better stop typing before I have a heart attack...just remember...The Matrix has you...I'm back. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. You see...they feel that the only way to reward academic achievement...yada-yada-yada...is to force the smart kids to be ushers for Senior Honor Nite, and Graduation. Where is the logic in this? I for one, didn't know about such dire consequences for not deliberatly failing classes. It was bad enough that I was forced to "volunteer" my precious time (i could have worked on this site)...no...I was forced to wear formal attire. My school system is stuck in the past...and formal attire means...a dress...a white dress...(for those you who never bothered to find out...I am indeed female). So...for the first time in about 5 years...I wore a dress...and something that was complelty white. What cruel fate is this? To compound the EVIL situation...I was forced to wear feminine shoes. In other words...they hurt. And they pushed my toes together. Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skin...this made my evening my own personall torture session. I think that such gender-specific torture should be deemed inhumane and abolished from our great society...of flaming chickens. Henceforth...Code: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. Should you violate this right, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy. I'm leaving now...I have some destruction to do. i'm back. from graduation. we had to get there one hour and fifteen minutes early because there was traffic. After standing around a lot...the ceremony started. Lots of people spoke. by the time I had to do my part (tell people where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark. there were bugs. they liked landing on me. then...i got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. i couldn't hear it because someone had put the speakers facing the audience. we clapped. the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. afterwards...they turned off the lights. there were lots of fireworks. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. i called home, and waited another hour for my ride...traffic to the school was one way. i felt sorry for my dad. i am tired...but cannot go to sleep. i'll copy and paste this to my site. maybe the longest text ever. you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. i cannot feel my feet. i hate dress shoes. I'm back. Today, I'm here to salute the Pointless Signs Of America! The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? NOTHING! These so-called "pointless" signs are doing just what they were meant to do: entertain you! You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do. They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. Noone can do everything, so how can you expect a SIGN, with the I.Q. of toilet paper, to do everything. You people sicken me. You expect far to much of the inanimate world. The inanimate world, on the otherhand, expects nothing of you. Which is exactly what it gets. If you expect nothing, and get nothing, you feel nothing. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. If you're following along, and not completly confused, you'll realize that it is better to be a pessimist than an optomist. Yep that's right. This entry went from saluting the PSOA to making a statement about my ideals. This has been a weird day. You can thank my associate "Meg" she came up with the PSOA acronym. Everyone, clap for "Meg".I gotta go...seeya later! I'm finnaly back! Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. Here we go! Number One: I could have cured cancer. Not that I know anything about medicine...or cancer for that matter. But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. Number Two: I could helped the earth to find eternal and lasting peace. Which would be boring. So I at least have an excuse for not doing that. Number Three: I could have studied and stuff. Uh...don't think so...Number Four: I could have learned to drive. This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistrians...and I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. Gee...I wish I'd thought of that sooner. Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. Number Seven: I could drive people crazy. Wait...aren't I already doing that? Scratch number seven. And on to: Number Eight: I could have...uhhhh...ummmmm...actually thought up these things before hand. Number Nine: Now it's just getting redundant, isn't it? Number Ten: This is the list that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it not...etc, etc. Okay...I admit it. I have officialy run out of ways I could have better spent my time. I don't think there actually are any. Except for maybe five and six. Now, those have possibilities. However, I am currently content to just sit here and type. For the benefit of you, the reader...who may or may not exist. Either way, I'm continuing to sort of entertain myself. I feel like I should be outraged about some topic or another. I just can't work up the energy to be outraged. Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. Yeah. I can work with mistrust. I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. Like organ grinders, and the evil conspiracies. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Now, some of you are probably thinking "Gee, Really?", or "Wow, I never knew that!" while others are thinking "Who's John F. Kennedy?" or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". I fervently hope that you're not thinking the last two...especially about Kodak. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. Or possibly a really good president who wanted to fly to the moon. Either way, he got assasinated. And ever loony in America decided that it was a conspiracy. Some even go so far as to claim that Kodak "changed" the pictures of the assasination to make an assasination in the bushes become a tree's shadow. I didn't know that they had such good technology back then. I have to wonder...why would Kodak do such a thing. Perhaps Kodak is actually a front organization for a shadowy governmental system that controls the entire world and didn't want mankind to obtain the freedom of the stars and so tried to sabotauge the space program even though it didn't work as well as they planned. Or perhaps not. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? You can just bet that they look at every one that get's turned in to them, judging blackmail value, and whether or not you could get arrested. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. Unless you have a digital camera, which are a symbol of freedom from the old ways and willing enslavement to the new ways. We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. I better go...I think Kodak is tracing my site....I'm back now! And, once again, I have proof that someone actually took the time (two hours) to read this entire Longest Text Ever! It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. But true. Even more incredible, this time it's someone I don't even know! Wooooooo! I feel inspired and happy and other really good emotions and stuff. And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. In school, back before I even owned a computer, I'd type random words for long periods of time, 'cause I had nothing better to do. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). Oh, well...I tired of nostalgia. Back to the present. Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. I don't think I have any conspiracy theories...except pop-ups/pop-unders. Have you ever had the evil pop-up that says that if you click here, it'll get rid off all the annoying pop-ups? Isn't that sort of ironic? Could the pop-up blocker people have chosen a better means to advertise their product? It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? Or CRAP, for short. And the lady representing them, calls the radio station...on a phone. It's stupid and ironic and just shouldn't exist in a better world. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? Insane, chaotic...hmmmmm...I wonder who thought of it? Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? It is now my civic duty to discover this ancient mystery, and reveal it to the uncaring world. Or maybe I'll go make a frozen pizza. Yeah. That sounds good, too. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. I just can't seem to stop, though. Okay...I can do it. I'm leaving. I'm back...and it's several hours later. I've decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog, Moose. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) In otherwords, she's a small yappy dog who is big for her breed. Today, I met her arch-enemy. An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop shaking. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above all others. Now you may be wondering what horrible beast is Moose's arch-enemy. And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. You would be correct in your suspiciousness...for Mooses arch-enemy is...*dramatic drumroll*...a small, white, feather. Now, Moose has seen many feathers, birds even. But none have struck terror in her little moose heart like this particular feather. So...naturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. She even got her sister and mother in the spirt of things. Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. So am I. It doesn't smell funny, (I asked my brother, since I don't have a sense of smell), it seems perfectly ordinary. So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. That is the only possible explanation as to why it upsets her so much. Or...maybe it's the feather off of the cartoon owl from the tootsie-roll pop comercials (one...two...three..*crunch*). Whatever the case, I decided that the whole world, (or three of four random people) deserve to know that if the world and or universe are destroyed, it's the evil, little, white, feather's fault. Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it...:) I am officially back. And you, the potentially non-existant reader gets a once in a lifetime chance to hear me rant and rave about my Horrible, Horrible Family Vacation. I know. You feel very, very honored. It's like this. My mother is a control freak, and she decided on the spur of the moment that we were going north to visit relatives. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. The very next day, she decided that we were going north, after all. So, we packed everthing up. Before we knew it, we were on the road. The first part of the trip was fairly easy. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister. Immediatly, my mother started complaining. It was uncomfortable in the back, it was too hot, it was too cold. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. That meant only one corse of action for them. They started shaking and barked their little heads off. This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. We eventually reached our destination after 16 hours of virtually non-stop driving. We got there, we ate. We slept. My mother visited relatives. And so the week went by. I got to go to a huge library, and see Terminator 3 at the local theater. That was the high point of the entire trip. The last day, we were deciding where to eat. My mom said that she didn't care. So my dad picked a steak place. My mother tried to order a mushroom-swiss burger...only to discover that the place had no swiss-cheese. So she decided on a salad, only to discover that they didn't have her favorite salad dressing. After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat. After complaining how hungry she was, and about the poor quality of the resteraunt, she walked out of the resteraunt, instructing the rest of us to "enjoy our meals". And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. Not that my mother is annoying...just set in her ways. The whole meal thing was about the only interesting thing to happen during the week. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. Needless to say, we ignored her. Oh, and when my sister had to go to the bathroom very badly during a traffic jam, my mother had the good taste to making hissing/water noises to make my sister's problem worse. She claimed that my little sister always did it to her, and she was getting pay-back. Between her bickering with my sister, and obsessivly playing neopets games, I don't know what to do with her. Anyway...that was my family vacation rant. It sucked. No suprise. At least it's over. Sorry if I complained a lot. If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. Anyway, I promise to go back to my usual routine the next time I rant here. I thought of a topic on the way home, but forgot it. Seeya. I'm back! I know, I took you completly by suprise. You thought you'd gotten rid of me. *cheesy super-hero voice* Well, fear not, random citizen, for I, PSOPC am here! *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. Yes, that's right. It's time to warn you, the viewer...er...reader...about the evils of various stuff. Today's lesson is: subliminal messages . That's right, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? No? Well...prepare to be enlightened. Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words into a main image. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. Your subconsious mind acts on whatever it is told. What does this mean to you? It means that WAL-MART TV IS EVIL! EVIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!! Why else would they invest all that money to show commercials in their own store? Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. BEWARE YOUR TOASTER OVEN! Okay. That had nothing to do whatsoever with subliminal messages...it's just cool to say. Anyway, only watch wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a new set of TUPERWARE, even though your old set is PERFECTLY fine. This has been a public service announcment. Pretty cool, huh? Uh...you don't have to take the subliminal stuff seriously. It's true, and all, but I have no proof about wal-mart, or certain fast food resteraunts. It makes sense, though. Wal-mart TV is evil. You cannot deny it. Seeya...hmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computer...I'm back. And I feel that it's time for a FAKE commercial break, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead consumer. And now, a word from our non-existant sponsor. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup?)so you can travel to the 5th Dimension like our scientists almost did. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. The winner not only gets the million-dollar prize, they get the chance to produce the show they created. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours!(Next exciting commercial!)And for all the idiots out there: Try new and improved Dum-B-Gon! Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! Not only that, Dum-B-Gon: stimulates weight loss, cures "any" illness, does simple houshold chores, never leaves the toilet seat up and is the perfect gentle companion for your kids. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed!* (*Not a guarantee) (Next commercial)Have you ever wondered why food sometimes goes bad in your fridge, even if you've only had it a few years? It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. How do you stop them? With our patented "spray". Our "spray" kills over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see) Our "spray" also kills most disease causing agents, like rats, or pigeons. WARNING: Leave food sit in an open, well-venilated spot for a week before eating. And now, back to our featured presentation. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? I bet you wanna go eat some Ketchup covered Dum-B Gon right now, while watching "reality" TV. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. Pathetic, wasn't it? Oh, well. I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, so...therer they are. Happy? Good. I'm leavin', for now. I'm back. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. Today, I was checking out some weird news. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. Some people disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a cheap shot." So...doesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. Another article claims that an anitseptic turned a polar bear purple, drawing large crowds of people. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. It's wrong, I tell you. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. What values, you say? The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Then it would be okay. As long as the bear blends in, you know? Speaking of animals, there's a cat in California who is a kleptomaniac (likes to steal stuff). He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. He then leaves them under his owners car. Okay, better leave. I'm back. And I don't really have a topic today. I'm just bored. Sometimes I just do this, you know? Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Or maybe I am monumentally bored and don't have anything else to do at the moment. Either way, I'm here. You must be pretty bored, too. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? It would make no sense. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? I would be. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. Yeah. That must be it. Unless you're bored. Then I completly understand. I need to find a topic. Here, topic, topic, topic! Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! Why are you afraid of little ol' me? *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. Which is what I do best. Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. What now...hmmmmm...should I share with you more of my paranoid/delusional conspiracy theories? Or have I been doing that too much lately? Oooooo! I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! #1You can say or do anything and normal people will agree with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied, shut up, and go away. Far away. I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. RANDOM PERSON: Uh-huh, that's nice. ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. I mean, she traded Asia for a carrot! And she doesn't even LIKE carrots! RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? ME: Yep. She also is the goddess of red jello. RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary school...uh...except for that head-explouding part). Okay...on to: #2 You can get out of practically anything by saying: a)It's against my religion b)I'm allergic to that. c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. d)I already did that in a past life and it sucked. e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE LEST I GIVE IT POWER OVER ME! I'm allergic to parts of it, have irrational fears about others and I'm pretty sure it's against my Jenny religion...along with eating mashed potatoes, or potatoes of any kind. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. Thou shalt not eat spuds. Hmmmm...time for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheese...and chickens...and flame. Fire is good. Fire is free. Fire is my friend...until it burns me. Then it must die...painfully. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. Now, wasn't that a fun list!? Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? I should make bumber stickers saying that. Proud to be weird. It'd be cool. Anyway, gotta go! *yawn* I'm back. Last night I was super-charged with lots of sugar and not a lot of sleep. I ended up writing things during the time of night when EVERYTHING is hilarious, including the word sheep. To compound things, I wasn't alone, and things just escalated. The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote.

Definitly. THen we go to library. Guess what? Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late at nite and everything is funny but we can't laugh 'cause everybody is sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water we sobered up even though we weren't drunk but we ate sugar...lots and lots of sugar. MOstly donut cake. Okay. JOsh says it was only one piece of cake. WE got it at Wal-mart. Or his mom did. OR something. Goodbye..

Have you ever been afraid to get up and go to the bathroom? I’ve been in situations where I didn’t want to get up in the middle of something and bring attention to myself. Do you get any magazines in the mail? Just ads for clothing stores. How many websites do you have an account for? Too many. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Of course.

Do you try clothes on before you buy them? Yeah.

Have you seen The Blindside? Not interested. What’s the best movie you’ve seen this year? It’s only Feb, I haven’t seen any new movies yet. Do you know how to fire a gun? I don’t condone them or own any or want to own any, but I have fired a bb gun before. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? I don’t know, scream? Have you played the Sims 3, yet? I’m not interested. What’s your favorite type of pizza? Pepperoni.

Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Marie’s. What are you afraid of? Things. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Nope. How do you let someone know that you like them? I tell them? Have you ever asked a friend to ask someone else out for you? Nah. Who’d you last see in a tux? I don’t remember. Were you sad when Tim Urban got sent home on American Idol? I have no idea who that is. What about Jason Castro, 2 years ago? ^ Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? Not anymore. The magic of streaming services. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? Yes. Would you rather take a shower or a bath? Bath. How many times do you shower in a week? At least 3. What brand’s your cell phone? Samsung. Have you ever sexted? Haven’t we all at one point or another?

How many contacts do you have? I don’t feel like looking. Do you have your own computer? I have a shitty laptop I never use and a desktop at work I’m on right now. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? Probably me. Who’s the bravest person you know? I don’t know. Everyone’s definition of brave is different. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? My husband, of course, who already does. Do you ever make up retarded words with your friends? YIKES YIKES YIKES YIKES YIKES that fucking word. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? Probbaly. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? I’ve never heard it referred to as “sportsy” before, lol. Are you any good at writing? Eh. What’s your favorite form of writing? -- What do you think about Lil Wayne? Whatever. Lil Wayne Vs. Eminem…?? :S I’m okay. Have you ever given up on someone before? Yes. Did you end up regretting it later in life? Nope. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? Maybe? Have you ever read Shakespeare? I had to. How come no one knows what MGMT is on here? The band? What did you dream about last night? I don’t remember. Have you ever looked up the meaning to a dream? Eh. I don’t want to know. Have you ever tried to change someone? Not completely. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn’t wanna change? Whatever. Do you think that anyone currently has a crush on you? My husband What profession do you admire the most? People who deal with people. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? Yeah ahah when I was young and dumb. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve ever had to learn? You are responsible for your own happiness. What are you wearing right now? A hoodie and a tshirt and jeans. Do you miss your ex? Nope. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I don’t know. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Sexuality is weird, yo. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be and why? I’d like more money plz.

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S20 (Pt. 4)

Hashirama’s “:O” face at everything is so endearing

Hagoromo is now really the time for a family story there are three children and a sad old man in need

“It was a few thousand years ago” Zetsu just said it was 1,000 years ago how bad are you guys at telling time 

I wonder how Hashirama feels about Madara being his Soulmate™

“I want make sure [the Tailed Beasts] don’t fight amongst each other, and that people don’t use their powers for evil” better 2 have tried and failed I guess 

“That’s because a toad’s dream is destiny” weird flex but ok

“So then, will everything I do now be meaningless?” “Don’t waste your time worrying” Ffgkjhfgkjh damn I didn’t ask for a lecture on fatalism in my Naruto liveblog

Lmao @ this dude revealing his thievery scheme after talking to Hagoromo for 0.5 seconds what makes him think everyone will be on board with it 

“I only want you to go away as soon as possible” ah looks like Hagoromo made a friend lmao 

“If we make it too sturdy, you’ll break your bones when you try to destroy it” they actually did a really good job of making Hagoromo charming like consider me charmed I wanna hear abt ur ninja way

Hahahah I admire Futami for not bringing up the horns for the entire length of time it took them to build the bridge 

Futami: Hagoromo-sensei gave me a high-five one time and it touched my heart so I formed a cult around him

Wait if Hagoromo only gave 8 disciples chakra are the nine of them together responsible for fathering all the shinobi world what kind of Gengis Khan fuckery

Minus the Hyuga, who, for some reason are moon aliens, I guess

“Throughout this long history men appeared, one after another, with the desire to use the tailed beasts for their own evil purposes. And that turned the tailed beasts against mankind. Anyway, back to my story.” Hahahaha did Hagoromo just go “(A/N: Fuck Obito and Madara lol)”

Unbelievable you’re telling me there was someone who wanted to get with this old man with horns and three eyes who leads a cult and you won’t show me WHO where is the justice 

OH HEY FUTAMI HELPING RAISE THE KIDS I GUESS? WILD

Mmmm I love Ashura already 1000/10 endearing impulsive baby

Some filler storyboard artist who I respect beyond reason: But what if... we added.... a dog

“It might even be bigger than yours” please don’t tell me they fished Zetsu out of the river

"I didn’t realize you thought so deeply about [chakra being used as a weapon]” “Yeah, well” “But then again, what will be, will be” what kind of parenting is this Hagoromo kjhgkjhgkjhg

Indra, 10 years old: I am concerned about the ethical impact of my innovation

Hagoromo: YOLO, son ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I’ll be watching you” Is that the voice of......... Pubescent Zetsu 

LMAO IT IS

These kids are really emotionally unprepared for the boar considering they were following boar tracks into the woods 

ARE YOU SHITTING ME THEY EVEN USED THE SAME FILLER DOG NAME LMAO WHO IS WRITING THIS 

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY KILLED THE DOG I’M SO MAD

Wow @ them having Indra invent chidori instead hkjhgkhg poor Kakashi

Indra awoke his sharingan over losing his dog I cannot believe this how are dogs the central plot device of multiple arcs

“Whatever is in this village belongs to everyone - that’s the law” wow along with fatalism this arc is also teaching us about the practical failings of communism 

“The law is still the law” where’s the post that says Sasuke is ethnically a cop. Because that’s this arc

Not 2 be that gal again but Indra’s voice is also nice on the ears he has inherited his grandmother’s kekkei genkai of having an attractive voice and a terrible moral compass

...............kekkei grandma 

“Looking into his eyes reminds me of my mother’s eyes” I was kind of joking about the kekkei grandma thing but fair

“At that moment I felt that I understood for the first time why heaven had blessed me with two sons” have you ever considered your eldest son is mean in part because you make comments like this 

“What will the two of you do when you are out in the world alone” wow Hagoromo is giving his kids some kind of High-Stakes Bell Test 

Hahaha I like Taizo I hope they don’t do anything to him but they probably will because he’s had so much screen time

HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SQUAD it’s the first ninja team and the boy is the healer!!!

Ashura: OH NO I’VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO GENJUTSU

Kanna and Taizo: WE GOT U BUDDY WE GOT BATS

I thought I was going bananas for a sec but the intro did change lol 

Poor Tenzo I think he’s been officially discarded from OPs RIP

Side note: Having a Naruto blog has made me so wary of Kakashi and Sakura standing next to each other I don’t trust the ppl on this website to be normal for a second RIP x2

“They’ll suffer, sure, but everyone dies eventually” okay calm down Taizo

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s possible or not, because I’ve decided to do it” I admire Ashura’s blind optimism lmao

Not to poke too many holes but why would the water in the well not be affected by the Divine Tree

I take my comment about healing back ludicrously all the men get to display chakra natures and the women can only display glowing yin chakra hands booooo

Omg there is a Tenzo after all in an ED at least!! This is the first time I’ve seen all three members of the Naruto’s Dad Association in one place!!! Bless up

A shot of them standing all together!!!! My heart!!!!!!!!

SASUKE AND NARUTO’S GRINS AT EACH OTHER I WEEEP

[Hagoromo as Kakashi voice]: TEAMWORK!!

I was very much expecting Indra to go crazy and kill those two guys but wow that was a scene

“Enough to make you fall in love with him and follow him all the way here” At least Ashura gets like a real wife instead of Hagoromo’s ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ she dead’

Hagoromo: Indra’s a dick because his eyes are red trust me it has nothing to do with my parenting I’m a chakra scientist

“Indra, just what is the meaning of this” it’s a temper tantrum lmao

Was it really necessary to kill both of those guys Indra one best friend death usually suffices for mangekyo my dude

Minato joining Kakashi in the club of Boyz Who Jutsu Was Plagiarized

Hagoromo really has absolutely zero hesitation to attack his son and you wonder why Indra has a complex

“THIS IS THE POWER OF OUR BOOOOOND” he said, as he punched his brother in the face with a thousand wooden hands (mood)

Indra’s Lightning Teleportation Jutsu is really doing The Most the Raikage is not nearly this dramatic about it 

Can you... just.... declare that your soul will be reincarnated? Is that how that works? 

Also. Who slept with Indra?! U made him out to be like. Very Not Okay. But he’s the forefather of the Uchiha?? WHERE ARE THESE CHILDREN COMING FROM TELL ME WHO IS BANGING THIS OUT OF CONTROL FAMILY

Hahahahaha I’M SO READY FOR THIS RIDICULOUS TEAM 7 TRYING TO UNMASK KAKASHI EPISODE BRING IT THE FUCK ON

I knew the Sukea voice would be different but omg I’m still thrown

“S-kay-a” is really not how I thought that would be pronounced wow 

“If I’m able to capture this Kakashi guy without a mask on, it’ll be the biggest scoop since the Leaf was established” a little arrogant Kakashi but okay kjhgkjhgkjhgjhg

This is such an adorable and weird bonding exercise of Kakashi teaching his kids how to break into Konoha’s archives I’M WHEEZING

I would pay money to see Kakashi explain what he was doing to all those dudes in ANBU who probably thought he was intimidating as all fuck catching him a wig with three twelve-year-olds breaking into his own file

“Who cares what I look like anyway!” THIS IS SO DUMB I LOOOOVE IT

“I think that a woman might’ve drowned right over there on the river bank” HINATA!!!!! UR TOO NICE TO BE ENLISTED INTO THIS SCHEMING HAHAHA

Oh I remember seeing reference to this scene booooo do they really have to make it weird all the time

This concept is even MORE ridiculous in the show bc it expands beyond Team 7 to all the other Konoha rookies like Kakashi how much do u enjoy teasing the children that this is how you’re spending your day

HAHAHAH Kakashi is lucky that the person who knows him best has face blindness and can’t call him out for his schemes 

Okay not to betray my own brand but ᵏᵏᵍᵃᶦ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ

They really designed a nicer apartment for Kakashi just so they could animate his silhouette in the shower STUDIO PIERROT PLEASE

Fhkjhkjfhkjhkf that last scene made me so uncomfortable I don’t really like seeing Kakashi’s mouth while he talks it’s weird

You know I spent a lot of this interlude chanting main arc main arc in my head but alas now that we have arrived I’ve remembered that the war arc climax is a mess

“If my chakra runs out, I’m done” seriously Obito.......... how are you here

Can you imagine if Naruto actually died.... what would that even mean for this series I can’t imagine 

“I already marked this space, so I can hide out in my time-space” I want to know how Obito “marks a space” is it like a jutsu or does he just have to nod at it and go “my space now”

 I would also pay money to see what Obito and Sakura talked about when they had to hang out in Kamui for a solid two minutes lmao 

“So you’re friends with sensei huh?” “Yeah it’s complicated but I think we’re cool now” “Yeah, same with us and Sasuke” “Sorry about that” “I don’t forgive you but thanks”

“You alright?” define ‘alright’ but also Obito’s never been alright a day in his life, Sakura 

Uh oh foreshadowing to the heavy gravity space where Obito d*es

Okay maybe this is the part of me that is still clings to their Part I friendship but Sasuke helping Sakura stand really brings out my inner soft bitch

 “It would’ve been helpful if we could’ve received this advice a bit earlier” Tobirama’s bitter about sitting through five episodes of filler

Tobirama: Why haven’t u been helping this whole time

Hagoromo: It all comes down to Madara’s magic pelvis—

“This man lent me his power and that’s why we were able to get here” does Sakura not know Obito’s name either khgkjhgjkgh

How many times will we watch these same two flashbacks of Obito’s life

Looks like Kakashi brought a knife to a taijutsu fight LMAO

God Rin is such a good friend to Obito and he repays her by literally defacing her grave 

“Am I powerless to do anything but sit here and watch” it’s not really your fault you can’t fly Kakashi tho u could try throwing some kunai or smth ur not a one sharingan pony

Ddkjhsdkjhd why does Obito get a line worrying about Naruto’s death but Kakashi doesn’t he’s spent the past two days trying to kill Naruto

I’m still emo abt Kakashi trying to die for Sasuke that’s his soooon

“Rin... this time, let’s spend some alone time together, just you and me” Why phrase it like that, Obito

"Why save someone useless like me” Kakashi get some therapy

“A fool full of only mistakes” it’s hard to disagree with Zetsu when they’re flashing back to every mistake Obito has ever made

Where’s the graphics set where Obito goes ‘admittedly I lost my cool here’ because that’s what that flashback was 

Update: found it

“Don’t cry, Obito, you’ll just get laughed at” this fantasy is an indication that Obito has no real comprehension of how fucked up Kakashi was by Rin’s death

Can you believe that Rin still dies in Obito’s jonin AU like....what. It’s not even like “AU of what I want” it’s like “AU where I learn how to cope with trauma” 

Also was this just an out for not designing an adult Rin bc he’s been thinking about Rin endlessly for like three episodes straight so..... what up with that

It’s still so fucking funny that Iruka’s in Obito’s jonin fantasy like when did they meet did he just absorb secondhand Iruka appreciation from Naruto 

“But, if you screw up, I won’t hesitate to step up as a candidate for Hokage myself” yesssssssss let Kakashi be the playful menace he truly aspires to be

Gjghjkhgjhg Obito’s “euuuuuuuuehhhh” when the paperwork dropped was funny

Sasuke’s face when Sakura punched Naruto was also v funny 

Honestly to be real for a second Obito imagining himself as buddies with Team 7 makes me mad u’ve done nothing but make these kids’ life TERRIBLE until today babysitting license REVOKED!!!!!!

Am I a hypocrite for enjoying AUs ft. Obito? Mayhaps!!!

“You told me that saving you was pretty much the same as saving the whole world, remember?” (Well.)

“I’d say, you did your best” You know that post that said it makes sense that Rin said this bc she’s a Scorpio. I’m still upset about it

You know... Naruto’s “the coolest guy” (“nothing but awesome”) comment about Obito is a direct parallel to “Bravest man I ever knew” in HP and that’s why, if I were to meet either adult man, I would dropkick both of them. In this essay I will—

“It’s kind of annoying seeing [Kakashi] all stiff and useless” u right Obito

Kishimoto pick up the phone I just want to talk about that rabbit bijuu design 

“A Susano’o? But whose?” DAD’S HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRE

Kakashi with Six Paths Power REALLY feeds into my theory that Kakashi is Hagoromo’s transmigrant 

THAT’S MY TEAM READY TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER!!!!!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KAKASHI GETS HER VULNERABLE AND THEN THE BOYS ATTACK WHILE KAKASHI GUARDS THEIR BACKS AND SAKURA FORCES HER INTO PLACE THIS IS WHOLEASS TEAMWORK

“I really love you guys” YEAH HE DOES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay arc over haha right guys we’re good now RIGHT GUYS??

In part, Kakashi jumping around to save his students feels very much reminiscent of Part I’s “MY SENSEI SENSES ARE TINGLING” swoop and scoop that he and Gai loved to do

Lmao @ Kaguya spitting Madara out like he’s a bad-tasting vegetable

Coming up with an OP specifically for VOTE2 is so extra but I kind of love it the Diver parallels!!!!

Sasuke is SUCH a liar abt his attitude towards Team 7 - more specifically towards Sakura and Kakashi bc he has already granted that he cares for Naruto

Sasuke: Comrades? I don’t know her

Also Sasuke: Constantly urging Sakura and Kakashi to get to safety and actively intervening when they’re not

“Honestly at this point I don’t think anything could shock me anymore” Sakura really needs a hug and a nap

“I shall be sure to ask Obito tell me that tale in the afterworld” the real question is if Obito will still look 12 when he takes Hagoromo on the harrowing journey that is his life

Kakashi truly has endless love in his stupid ass heart Obito’s like, “Hmmm... whoops sorry 4 committing mass murder” and Kakashi’s like “Hehe, we all mess up sometimes :) See u in heaven”

Madara and Hashirama really did invent being in gay love huh

WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO TEAR UP BUT KJHFKJHFKJH MY BABY BOY SAYING GOODBYE TO HIS DAD HE IS THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SWEETHEART

“You’ve now finally settled things with Madara” Tobirama has been waiting for like a hundred years for his brother to get over his ex

Hagoromo: Naruto’s your new conference room congrats kids 

Mmmmm I don’t like aaaaannnnnny of this

“You’re suggesting that I enjoy a roooOoomance” why say it like that Sasuke

I genuinely think this is the maddest that Kakashi’s ever been at Sasuke that boy is very, very grounded

“I, too, had two children at one time” OMG KAKASHI OFFICIALLY DESIGNATED TEAM 7 DAD BY HAGOROMO (ur miscounting tho Kakashi actually has four (4) children)

“I think I shall let Naruto handle this” said Hagoromo, and everyone who encountered any problem in this series ever

I’m very distracted from Sasuke’s dictatorship speech by the fact he looks so much like an alien. What is UP with his eyes they never look like this???? Why are they so far apart and narrow and angled

“Your blood will be the last that I shed” what r u just gonna keep genjutsuing ppl Sasuke? Could just keep the Tsukuyomi on then, homie

It also plays into the Hagoromo and Kakashi are related (spiritually or literally) that Hagoromo is equally as useless with advice to him lmao

Kakashi: What should I be doing, sir?

Hagoromo: Sometimes I like to pray :) 

Fjkkjgkjhgkjhk Sasuke claiming that Naruto is his only bond never ceases to amaze me like Sakura and Kakashi are RIGHT THERE ghkjhgkjhgkj u have been protecting them this whole time while they shout how much they care abt u. Just admit u have a crush on Naruto and go!!!

“I know your heart well by now. And you mine” Sasuke u unintentionally romantic dumbass

“Finally decided to kill me, huh,” said a thrilled Sasuke, taking a lesson from the Kakashi School of Very Much Needing Ninja Therapy

This entire fight is the Life or Death equivalent of this tweet:

Lmao one of these boys lost a tooth I want to know which of them has a dental implant 

Omg............... Iruka what is going ON.... u are suddenly v pale and also I think ur VA might be different could they not get the same Iruka or has he just forgotten how Iruka sounds

It was real unclear until this fight that Sasuke had any of the same powers as Nagato

“Now I can finally be alone... farewell, my one and only... friend” again... Sasuke... u can be in love with Naruto and still have other friends!!!!!!! Ask Naruto he has tons of friends he’s not in love with*

*Disclaimer: they are all in love with him

The idea that everyone Naruto’s ever cared about is spiritually trying to help him kick Sasuke’s ass is p funny

“Sakura and Kakashi are still there, they’ll figure something out” cute that you have such an assload of faith in your loved ones in ur life-flashing-before-you moment Sasuke but with what jutsu lmao

“I began to see a shadow of my own family in Squad 7″ YEAH HE DID  😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I still can’t believe that Kishimoto really wrote that all it took for Sasuke to return to Konoha was Naruto explaining to him how love and empathy work 

Omg Sasuke laughing...... I missed your laugh you precious boy

“Release the infinite Tsukuyomi once I’m dead by transplanting my left eye into Kakashi or someone else” Fhjfhkfh it detracts a little from the significance of Sasuke offering his eye to Kakashi to add the “someone else” but I guess they gotta make the syllables match up

Why is every Uchiha’s long-term plan just to die before they have to deal with the consequences of their actions

“I’m sorry” “Sorry? For what” “For everything” “You got that right” Sasuke I think u need to treat all of ur teammates to ramen 

“It’s finally back to the way it was” Kakashi loooves his baaabies 

TENZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Omg they included Guren from the filler arc in this crowd hahahaha

Gaara and Naruto enveloped in that same beam of light like Kakashi and Tenzo in the Tsukuyomi kghjghkgh SP said gentle gay rights

“I’m forbidden to talk about it” Team 7 would RIOT if Sasuke was locked up in a cell like that fuck you

Hahahaha I wish I could see the scene where Kakashi and Iruka decided to ambush Naruto with study materials 

Okay this is definitely a different Iruka ahhhhh weird I don’t like it

Iruka bursting into tears whenever Naruto talks about his progress.... same

I 100% believe that the vast majority of the reason Kakashi became Hokage was to pardon Sasuke but also that prison scene still seems appalling to me STOP MAKING THINGS WORSE THAN THEY WERE SHOWN TO BE

"Maybe next time” is super funny in the context that he does take her on his next mission outside the village and comes back with one (1) whole baby

Sasuke’s introspection usually seems to amount to “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison... oh hey Naruto <3″ 

The moral of the story seems to be that the best way to show someone you love them in ninja language is by telling them you want to keep punching them for the rest of your life

Do you guys remember when this was a studio Ghibli blog and I’d post gifs? 2017 was a good year lol. Anyway. As a child, I never knew I’d thirst for a 2-D otome man, but sadly I’ve stopped. Yes, after two years of obsession, it’s time I retire from the fandom. I’m keeping the blog though. Ran this shit for years, ain’t gonna give up now that my horny-meter has plummeted to an all time record low. Did you guys know blogs don’t have a character limit??

Oh god. I didn’t know this blog would suddenly receive so much attention. Please, I am begging you to not scroll down. It’s endless MysticMessenger posts from two years ago.

Hey, I'm once again: back, you can't possibly have more time than I do. I mean, after all, I made this blog. You're only browsing it. And most people don't even come here. Not even my friends...*sniffle* The just ignore this poor, pathetic little page. All they do is fill out the TAB form and leave. I think. Maybe they're here right now! HI! HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M FINE! THANKS FOR COMING! YES, I'M YELLING! Who am I kidding. This page won't get a single hit, unless I bribe people...now that has possibilities. Okay, fill out the TAB form, so I have proof that you bothered to come here and...uh...I'll...uh...send you a sandwich? Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. I'm bored. I'm gonna go hug a moose. MOOSE! I love-d you moose! Hey, I'm back again! Yea...*waits for applause* okay! Now I want all you loyal fans...*cricket chirps* to go to the link to see what I'm like. I took a whole bunch of personality quizzes and posted them there. I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. And I only took the quiz once, too. Spooky how accurate they are...anyway, I command you to go! I'm going. I'm back. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. Let's see: 1...2...3...4...5! Wow. I must really be desperate for something to do. I now officially have proof that someone has been here! It was one of my friends. Apparently this page really is getting long, because my friend said something to that effect. Maybe. Anyway, moving on! I'm just basically typing nothing. Just like all those reports people have to do. You know? With a specific number of words. They start out with half that number, and then just fill in words until they have the right amount. I salute those people. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! Well. Maybe eventually some weird, bored person will wander onto my site on accident and be mildly entertained be my site until they wander onto a live video feed of a coffee maker. Or maybe not. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. So. I've done what I've set out to accomplish. Yea, me! I'm so special. You see, most people, they don't like reading or writing. So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. (Which I think does not exist) My point is, if you've bothered to read this, then, (like me) you probley have also read the ketchup bottle so many times that you have it down verbatim. Look verbatim up. It's a word. But, you should know that, since you like reading. Or maybe you're just skimming. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. You might be asked a question about them on a quiz show. And now, for the million-dollar question: How many calories are there in a single serving of Mustard? I can just see it now...It could be called Know-Your-Food. Or You are What you Eat. It'd probley be as popular as those game shows that no one's ever heard of. Speaking of food, what's up with pie? There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! I know. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. Think about it. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. What makes them undesirable for pie? Would they dry into raisins? Couldn't you just stick some jelly in a piecrust and bake it? It just doesn't make any sense. Another thing that bothers me is organ grinders. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? Okay. They're basically begging on the street. How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? Wouldn't it make more sense to get a kazoo, if you're broke? And if they're so poor, what possessed them to buy a monkey? I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. Obviously I at least have a computer...so, back to the organ grinders. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill the monkey with the organ and eat it. Why on earth did they keep the monkey? It must have cost a fortune to feed...not to mention the mess. That's just one of those many facts of life that are better left mysteries. Especially since no one but me would ask the question. I better go. I think I hear a monkey...Okay...now I'm back. That's the sixth time I've said back! I realize that this longest text ever must be very boring and not worth anyone's time. But I'd like to take this time to thank the 2 and 1/2 people in the entire universe who have bothered to read this entire thing. I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! Right now, my spacebar is malfunctioning...that's not good...I have to press it two or three times just to insert a freaking space. Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. Or maybe not. This is too frustrating. Goodbye for now...Now I'm back. And still frustrated. But for a different reason. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. Apparently the point of the game was to get your character to shout "Whoo-Hoo!" as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Of course, when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times. Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. So my goal changed from surviving to laughing evilly while my character died. So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life. The stupid game is still going on and I refuse to quit because I want my points. My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. I hate irony. Seeya. Okay. Now I'm back again. Today I added an update page, which is basically a less chaotic, outlined version of this without all the ranting. It's more like techno talk about arrays and how much I suck and whether or not the Braves will win this year. Okay, the whole braves thing is made up. But everything else I've said so far is true. I think. Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimer...Eh-hem. All contents of this site were designed for entertainment purposes only. Any use thereof that is not stated in the above mentioned statement would make the author, hereby referred to as Patron Saint of Paper Clips, very angry. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. Ooooo…that’s a great idea! I’m gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (that’s me) is allowed to cause vague, pain like sensations while the offending person (or alien life form, dog, etc.) isn’t paying attention. Now I have a purpose in life! To make up quotes from the non-existent Flaming Chicken Handbook, which I’m sure you have a copy of. No? Too bad. It’s in the mail, I promise! Now I must take my leave…and remember. Cheese is watching. Okay...I'm back...I think that eventually half of this thing will consist of the word back over and over again...that's just weird. Which fits the motif of the rest of the site. There's even a money back guarantee. Isn’t' that nice? See? Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. Especially since I don't have viewers. I have readers. Wait...I really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. Even if I put it in a less chaotic, more user-friendly format people would still ignore this because it involves: reading. Yes. Sad to admit, but the majority of people would rather read the summary at the back of a book rather than the whole book itself. What has the world come to? It's pathetic. Especially since I'm bothering to write all this. It's not fair! Why can't I have more readers?! All the other internet writers have nothing on me, except they're better at advertising, having a central theme/plot and basically more talented. Whereas I'm more into the whole ranting and raving stage right now. Plus, I am horrible at spelling. Which is bad. Thank the powers that be for spell-check. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. May your day be shiney! I'm back again! And I feel weird! I found at that yet another one of my friends is reading this. Creepy. Just how much time do they have on their hands. Perhaps their just trying to be nice. I can just see it now...an organization devoted not to feeding the hungry, or peace, or love or whatever, but to giving recognition to all those poor, pathetic, unpopular websites. I wonder what it's name would be. Don't Ignore Sites? Would it be called DIS? Isn't that like a slang term for an insult? Would that be considered poetic justice, or just a nice coincidence? And why do I even care? I'll tell you why. Because I have nothing else to do right now. I could be playing neopets, but ever since my bad experience with Treasure Planet, I don't feel like it. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. To prevent this, I did nothing. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problem...it's almost like a game! But without the bad sound track. And I promise not to force you to live when you would rather die. Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. I'm like the little engine that could. Or maybe the Energizer Bunny. I just keep going, and going and going. Or I could be like that annoying guy on T.V. who keeps asking if you can hear him. If my site manages to last a decade, my readers *snicker* will probley wonder what I'm talking about. My answer is simple. It doesn't matter. I'm just rambling. Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Doesn't that make you feel better? I bet it does. Wow. Look how long this has gotten. I even impress myself. Who would have thought I have this much free time? And I congratulate any reader who has gotten this far. Ooooooo! You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunes...I gotta go!(may the moose be with you) And now I am back. I swear. If iI fill out the fake tab form I'm gonna have to put back as my favorite word...I already have filled it out, though. Would it be cheating to fill it out again? Only if I had multiple personalities. Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? The world may never know. Just like how many licks it takes to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop. Would it vary? The number of licks, I mean. Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. Or what if you took big ol' slobbery licks? Does the commercial take that into account? No. It doesn't. And let me tell you, it's an outrage. It deludes all of American's sweet, innocent, candy-loving children into thinking that a cartoon owl is smarter than they are! "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" Or whatever. And "Mr. Owl" replies "One...Twoo...Three! Chomp" And he bites it. That teaches our youth that it's okay to agree to help someone, and then ruin their experiment. Well...it's not. I am going to start a protest group. Teens Against Cartoon Owls. We could call ourselves TACO! I love the little tacos, I love them good! That is a direct quote from GIR, co-star and comic-relief on INVADER ZIM. Hmmmm...intersting. I put hyphens in both of his titles...it must be a conspiracy! I gotta go. Those TACO buttons don't make themselves, you know. I'm back again. And not so cheesed off about the whole tootsie roll pop thing. Right now, I have another twenty minutes on the Internet before I'm gonna watch T.V. And I can't think of anything else to do. So, predictably, here I am. It's not like I have anything better to do. Obviously, you know this. After all, look how long this text is. I wonder if I've made the world record? If I did, would I stop this? Why bother asking? I'll will most likely still be adding to this on my death bed. Hmmmmm...has any old, senile person ever written anything? Was it coherent? Did it make more sense that this text? Is it possible to make less sense? Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? Yes. Yes, I am. But I seriously wonder what something written by a senile person would be like. I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. But never senile. Can a senile person write? Aren't they regressed to a child-like state? Does it even matter? Is anyone even reading this? Did I resume asking retorical questions? Do you care? Is this eating up time? I feel like I'm playing questions only on whose line is it anway. I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazy...hey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! It's really stressfull. Someday, I'm gonna snap and just delete this entire thing. Gee, I hope not! I worked sorta hard on this. It's great for making random topics weave together to form an overall infrastructure of chaos. That made little sense. That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. Ooooooooooooo! I'm gonna quote from the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK again! Yep! I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. Okay. Here goes. Code: 472 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that this site in no way aknowledges the existance of other, better sites (hereon reffered to as the Losers) The Losers are a myth. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips (me again!) claims no knowledge as to where that particullary nasty rumor started, but confirms that this is the best site ever. It would be a sin against humanity for a better site to exist. Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. Experience vague, pain-like sensations when you're not paying attention) This has been a public service announcement. This is a test, I repeat only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have bought up all the can openers and charged 3 cows and a pig for each one. I repeat, lock all you doors and windows, this is it. I repeat, there is nothing to worry about. Everything is fine. The end is not here. I'm going, you're on you're own! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm back!*smiles brightly* And apparantly delusional! Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. And I became inspired to talk about nothing. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. Hmmm...I seem to be entertaining myself though, even while reading what I wrote. Which is why I still go to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website. Because I am easily amused and have lots and lots of time on my hands. Maybe, some day far in the future (like next Thursday) I'll print a copy of this insane text. And then go door to door distributing it. Eventually, this would become a monthly tradition. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. I can just see the whole community rising to thwart my attempts to spread love, joy and insane chaos. I probley wouldn't actually print this out (think how much paper it would take!) but if I do, only friends and enemies will receive copies. Hmmmm...maybe my condition is worsening. Or not. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. He is pure evil. TACO will eventually destroy him. Unless he has already been destroyed by an even more radical Anti-Cartoon-Owl group. I hope not. Or, would that be good? I suppose I could let someone else have the glory. After all, I'm not in this line of buisness for the fame, fortune and power. What line of buisness, do you ask? Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. I love owls. Hmm...I seem to be jumping from one subject to another more frequently. Either I am growing more comfortable with my on-line writing, or I am progressivly getting more insane and chaotic. I also am psyco-analyzing myself a lot today...hmmmm...I'm even saying "hmmmmm..." a lot. Just like a real psychologist. Hmmmmmmm. Time for another boring disclaimer!!!!!!! Code: 742 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that in no part does the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (That's still me!) actually claim to be mentally ill. That's either a) a publicity stunt b) An attempt at humor c) a cry for help or d) none of the above You can e-mail your responses by conducting a scavenger hunt of this site. Some of the pages of this site contain a link encouging the two and a half people to e-mail the Patron Saint of Paper Clips. There may also be evil little links that are designed to confuse you. These links send stuff to someone named [email protected] Saint of Paper Clips does not know who this individual is, but sincerly wishes that you send all your hate mail to him. Not that the aformentioned individual claims to have received hate mail (or mail of any kind) via a website link. Thank-you for your time. Remember to send your answers to my sanity quiz to the e-mail account, [email protected] Oh, and once I refer to myself in the first person again, the handbook quote is over. I just thought that I might like to mention that. Oh. You're still here. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. Perhaps you don't have time to waste e-mailing me. HA! HA! HA! That's funny!!!! If you you don't have time to waste, what are you doing here?!!! Oh, who am I kidding. I figure that even the people I manage to lure onto my site from neopets don't even bother to come to this particular page. Maybe I should make the link come here directly...Hey! What a good idea! That way I can spread my love, joy and insane chaos to more people! I'm a genius. Gotta go, must lure innocent victems to the second most pointless site ever!!!! I'm back. And really angry, and confused. I've always known that I was weird, that's always been a given. But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. Today we had a "family outing." Now, most families will go bowling, or putt-putt golfing. They may go to a resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a theme park. Not my family! No, we got the greatest family outing of all. We got to go to a bar and play pool!!!!!*waits for readers to become insanely jealous* Yep, that's right, a bar with a pool table! Not only did we get world class cuisine (under-cooked hotdogs and over-cooked hamburgers), my little sister (age 10) got taught pool by someone I strongly supect is an ex-convict! Naturally when it was announced that we'd be eating dinner in this place, I could hardly contain my excitment(I glared at my mother and asked why we couldn't go to Pizza Hut) When we arrived, we were promptly served (after thirty minutes) In the meantime, we played a family game of pool(my parents played while my brother and sister and I watched) After two rousing rounds, our food came. The food was superb, (our food came the exact opposite of how we ordered it, and half of the onion rings were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game(my sister and the ex-con played my mom) We spent hours there (from 5p.m.-7:15p.m.) There were many people that were the same age as me and my siblings (no one in the room but us were under 30) Us kids had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the bar ( I almost fell asleep during the last game I watched) As we left, there was a feeling of goodwill and fellowship between all(my sister locked me out of the car and wouldn't let me in untill I started yelling profanity in her general direction) The high point of the entire night was when my mother gave me $21 for my report card. She promptly borrowed $1 to help with the waitresses tip(This part I'm not being sarcastic about) All in all it was a night I'll remember forever (as the lowest point in "family outing"history, except for that time my mom dragged me to a church thing on the concept of truth.) My brother(age 13) even decided upon a new job he wants when he's old enough to work, a busboy at the bar. We had to tell him that he would probley have to wait untill he was 21.(Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blind...or stupid) &#!#%&&!!!(*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? BRINGING $#$$# KIDS IN A BAR!? I know it was her idea, 'cause my dad hates it, too. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. *sighs* Why does my life have to be so weird? I'm leaving...now I'm back! And not so pissed at my weird family. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. If I told you, I'd have to kill you and all that stuff. So...now I am down to one and a half readers. Untill such time that I have more. I wonder why anyone would read this? You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. First of all, you'd have to have an extrodinary amount of free time. Second of all, you would have to have the patience to read through all of this. And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. I admit it. I haven't exactly advertised this site. Nor can I find it on any search engines. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. What must I do to rise above obscurity? I tell people I know about this site, but they either ignore this page, or don't even bother coming to the site in the first place. I suppose that is the bane of all authors. To pour your heart and soul into a passage, and have everyone ignore it. *sniffle* Why must this be? Maybe I should just give up. After all, no one would really care if I quit updating this site. But I can't help but think of stuff like the evil over lord list and REALLY REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. They are not great neccesarily because of the content, (although that helps some) they are great because of their sheer length. You can read a little each day. And almost never finish. Also, I guess I still am trying to get the world record. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. Well, I dont want to organize this page, in any manner. This is chaos. And insanity. Not neat little text in classifiable rows, in alphabetical order. If you want neat, go to some other site(though, as mentioned in Flaming Chickens Code:472 there is no such thing as a site better than this one). Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. Awwwww...I'm touched! You didn't run screaming to another site, thankfull for the chance to escape this insanity. You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! Hey, where are you going?! I thought you were gonna stay here and keep me company?! *drags reader back* See, I knew you'd stay! *gagged reader glares* What's that? I know this is the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better go...I think that I may have a problem brewing. I'm back. And very concerned about this new, younger generation (all 10 year olds who were born in 1992) They are supposed to be the future. Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. I chanced to have an interview with an informant from this evil generation (my little sister) who will be called Mrs. X for security reasons (no, she's not married, the "Mrs" makes it good as a disguise) I was quizing Mrs. X on Civil War History for an upcoming test in her classroom (whose location can not be devulged) Mrs. X seemed fluent in the subject. Using prior knowledge, I deduced that Mrs. X was full of crap. Out of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X who participated in the Civil War. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. She answered: England, Russia, and (out of sheer desperation) Iraq. I believe that she was just listing countries she knows America has fought against. Now, correct me if I'm wrong...but Iraq? I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! Moving on, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm tired of writing Mrs. X) to tentativly guess that America fought in the Civil War. I mean, who'd a thought? America? Fighting in the American Civil War? In a moment of inspiration, I asked her who America fought. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Well, at least she knows that slaves were involved in the war. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. I said "The Union fought..." With a crack, snaple and pop, some random synapses in her brain connected in the right order and she said "CONFEDERACY!!!" I was very proud of her, just as you would be proud of a two-year-old who has just announced: "I WENT POO-POO ON THE POTTY!!!!!" What I mean is, you wouldn't be very proud if the average person said that they just took a dookey on the toilet, and you wouldn't be very proud if they knew who fought against the Union in the Civil War. I confirmed that the Union was Northern and Free, and that the Confederacy was Southern and Slave. We resumed quizzing and she got every question on the worksheet correct. This is because she memorizes the questions. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. You see, if you memorize stuff, you only have to remember that the answer to number 6 is Clara Barton for a week, rather than having to remember that Clara Barton started the Red Cross for the rest of you life. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. You don't belong here. You see...knowledge is good. If my sister...uh...Mrs. X were ever asked a question on the Civil War on a quiz show, she'd come up with nothing. With knowledge you can win money and the opportunity to look like a dork on national television. My sister is a big believer in the memorization system. I previous time when I was studying with her (American Revolution, this time) I was trying to help her remember the difference between the Patriots(Patriotic to America) and the Loyalists (Loyal to Britain) She didn't know what the word patriotic meant. I tried to explain. I asked her how you dress on the forth of july (she said nice) I asked what the colors red, white and blue were (pretty). I gave up in exasperation. More recently, I was trying to instill a sense of empathy and niceness in her. I asked her what the golden rule of christianity was. She didn't know. When I pressed her, she confessed she didn't know what chrisianity was. Completly defeated, I told her that it was the religion she practiced every Sunday when she went with her friends to church. This confirmed my suspicion that she only went so that she could have the use of the church's playground equipment. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. Anyway, that's my rant on the new generation that contains my little sister. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. If they're anything like my sister, I'm movin' to Canada. Gotta go...the Russian-Brittish-Iraqi-enslaved-Africans are coming to defeat the Mexicans. I'm back! *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) Furthormore, is it considered accepted behavior to talk to these dead reptiles, in a cooey, baby talky kind of voice? Finnaly, is it expected for said sibling's non-gender specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like that as a child" as an excuse? It's an honest question as I fear that my non-gender specific sibling is weird. Who am I kidding? My entire family is weird. It's just a matter of degree. Hey, by the way. I'm sorry that my last few entries have been only about my various family antics. Although I can't see why you care, because there is a large probability that you do not exist, because I don't think anyone is reading this anymore. How discouraging. People need to make the time to waste time. It's a time honored tradition. Who'd thought that I could use time that many times in only a few sentences? It's been pretty quiet here lately, which is why I haven't added anything to this text in awhile. I know, you were just crushed that nothing new was happening. It's a sad, cold, cruel world out there and you had nothing to relieve the monotony of it. *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! Next thing you know, you're internet connection will die. Well, too bad! Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. Time for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK!!! Code: 843 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that in no way is the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who?) responsible for any faulty wiring or lack thereof in your computer. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. Any derogatory statement is simply an opinion of an individual, not of the flaming order of the flaming chickens. Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. Okay, quote is done. Maybe I should put quotation marks around them...nah, too much work. But I probably will eventually get around to having a seperate page just for the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK. That way all the members (what members) can print out a copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get that copy in the mail) I guess I'm done for the day...I know. You want me to stay. It's okay. Because eventually, I'll be back! Seeya! I'm back. And once again suprised. When I was at a TAB poetry thingy (TAB is good TAB is great We love TAB) I met some new people. One of these people (who shall remain nameless untill such time that I have explicit permission to use her name) turned out to be almost as weird as me. As in...she read the ENTIRE Longest Text Ever. The whole thing. So far two whole people (to my knowledge) have read the entire thing, and a few people have skimmed it. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! I'm so happy! That means my pointless obsession has actually entertained someone besides me! Perhaps, one day, far in the future, this will actually be a world record and random people will acutally voluntarily read this text every day. Or maybe not. The point is that it is nice to have readers. Or maybe it's not...I mean...won't the quality *snicker* of my work deteriorate if I am no longer writing for the target audience of me? If that happens, then no one will read this. And then I'll be writing for me again. And then the quality will rise. And then people will start reading. And then the quality will go down and the vicious spiral of good and bad will continue untill I either give up this text, or go crazy...er. In any case...I should probably find a topic. Yeah...a topic would be good. Or...I could just continue to write about finding a topic. Ooooo! I know a topic! Ice cream trucks! This has been bothering me for a while. You see...when it's hot, you want something cold to eat. Conviently, ice cream trucks come around during the hottest part of the year (it must be a conspiracy). As you may or may not know, small children swarm the ice cream trucks. The vendors even play whimsical music which I strongly suspect contains subliminal messages to make you hungry for ice cream. The vendors get oodles of cash, and the kids get ice cream. Now, in today's society of buying groceries on-line and getting them delivered, why hasn't any other food industry marketed this ingenius idea to bring the product to the consumer. I can just see Hot Dog, and Pizza trucks roaming the neighbor hoods, selling treats to hungry children...and adults. Of course, said adults would have to peel their butt-cheeks off the couch...but they'd have to do that for the delivary man anyway. The food trucks could even play music that made you hungry for their food. Then the problem with obesity in America would be blamed on evil food truck drivers as opposed to the harmless, benificient television and computer. We could all breath a sigh of relief as parents kept their children inside, away from the evil truck drivers and near the T.V. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. Parents would buy their children computers, video games and other television neccesities. This, of course would expand the market for such products. This would lead to a better, more stable economy. Food industires would be buying cars, gas and music. Parents would increase the purchase of entertainment items. In return companies would make a profit, pay their workers better. The workers would then be able to afford more entertainment items and the upward spiral would continue, as opposed to the evil downward spiral of my writing. In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemen...if you implement my idea, there will be peace and prosperity for all. As long as you don't mind a few more couch potatoes. Gotta go...I think I hear a catchy jingle. I'm back...it's been awhile since I've written here. A lot has happened. Like my EVIL school computer deleting my updates page. But it's all good. Especially since I just saw The Matrix: Reloaded. The following text may spoil the movie for you, so WARNING: do no read this unless you have already seen the movie. Okay. What I liked best was the philosophy on choices. (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). It's like this. In the beginning of the movie, Neo is having dreams about Trinity's death. Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. After a horrific chain of events (is it coincidence, or fate) the people who will deactivate the secondary power source of the building Neo is infiltrating, die. So...the plan is going to fail. Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. The events of Neo's dream unfold. So...when the oracle said that the choice had already been made, she was completely correct. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. He would do everything in his power to keep his dream from becoming reality. So he kept her out of the Matrix, and she saw the problem, and entered the Matrix to fix it. If she had been in the Matrix, she would have likely been with Morpheus, never would have known about the plan's failure, would therefore not have been in the situation that resulted in her death. And the plan would have failed and Neo might have died, along with a large portion of the city (the building was set to blow if there was any intruders) So...Neo's choice to attempt to save Trinity triggered the sequence of events that led to her death. As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. This choice is simply an extension of his original choice: he will save Trinity at all costs. Neo is told that he has two choices. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. Or he can try to save Trinity and doom mankind. No guarantee that he'll succeed in saving Trinity. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. In return for not taking the easy route, he gains a power in the more or less real world. He can deactivate the machines, (squidies) but at great personal cost. The movie ends with him in a coma. Now, you must realize that I have described only one aspect of this movie of all movies. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. I highly recommend you see the movie yourself. I'm sorry that today's rant isn't random, insane or completely chaotic, but I must right my experience with The Matrix before I forget. I am so buying this movie when it comes out on DVD. I love it! You have to admit its sheer coolness. I mean, come on! It's the sequel to the movie that revolutionized the standard by which we judge special effects. I better stop typing before I have a heart attack...just remember...The Matrix has you...I'm back. And throughly pissed off at my school system in general. You see...they feel that the only way to reward academic achievement...yada-yada-yada...is to force the smart kids to be ushers for Senior Honor Nite, and Graduation. Where is the logic in this? I for one, didn't know about such dire consequences for not deliberatly failing classes. It was bad enough that I was forced to "volunteer" my precious time (i could have worked on this site)...no...I was forced to wear formal attire. My school system is stuck in the past...and formal attire means...a dress...a white dress...(for those you who never bothered to find out...I am indeed female). So...for the first time in about 5 years...I wore a dress...and something that was complelty white. What cruel fate is this? To compound the EVIL situation...I was forced to wear feminine shoes. In other words...they hurt. And they pushed my toes together. Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skin...this made my evening my own personall torture session. I think that such gender-specific torture should be deemed inhumane and abolished from our great society...of flaming chickens. Henceforth...Code: 666 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that under no circumstance will the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (guess who) be forced to wear anything other than a t-shirt and preferably black jeans. Should you violate this right, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy. I'm leaving now...I have some destruction to do. i'm back. from graduation. we had to get there one hour and fifteen minutes early because there was traffic. After standing around a lot...the ceremony started. Lots of people spoke. by the time I had to do my part (tell people where to stand before getting their diploma) it was dark. there were bugs. they liked landing on me. then...i got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. i couldn't hear it because someone had put the speakers facing the audience. we clapped. the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. afterwards...they turned off the lights. there were lots of fireworks. i wandered around for 20 minutes looking for a cell phone. i called home, and waited another hour for my ride...traffic to the school was one way. i felt sorry for my dad. i am tired...but cannot go to sleep. i'll copy and paste this to my site. maybe the longest text ever. you will all suffer as i have suffered when and if you graduate. i cannot feel my feet. i hate dress shoes. I'm back. Today, I'm here to salute the Pointless Signs Of America! The PSOA have been whole-heartedly working for you, and what have you done for them? NOTHING! These so-called "pointless" signs are doing just what they were meant to do: entertain you! You cannot judge them simply because they have no apparant function. They expand your mind, making you think about all the things they could do. They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. Noone can do everything, so how can you expect a SIGN, with the I.Q. of toilet paper, to do everything. You people sicken me. You expect far to much of the inanimate world. The inanimate world, on the otherhand, expects nothing of you. Which is exactly what it gets. If you expect nothing, and get nothing, you feel nothing. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. If you're following along, and not completly confused, you'll realize that it is better to be a pessimist than an optomist. Yep that's right. This entry went from saluting the PSOA to making a statement about my ideals. This has been a weird day. You can thank my associate "Meg" she came up with the PSOA acronym. Everyone, clap for "Meg".I gotta go...seeya later! I'm finnaly back! Today, I took a long look at this site, which is the acomplishment of almost a year of work. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. Here we go! Number One: I could have cured cancer. Not that I know anything about medicine...or cancer for that matter. But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. Number Two: I could helped the earth to find eternal and lasting peace. Which would be boring. So I at least have an excuse for not doing that. Number Three: I could have studied and stuff. Uh...don't think so...Number Four: I could have learned to drive. This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistrians...and I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. Gee...I wish I'd thought of that sooner. Number Six: I could have implemented one of several plans for world domination. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. Number Seven: I could drive people crazy. Wait...aren't I already doing that? Scratch number seven. And on to: Number Eight: I could have...uhhhh...ummmmm...actually thought up these things before hand. Number Nine: Now it's just getting redundant, isn't it? Number Ten: This is the list that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. One person, started typing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue typing it forever just because this is the list that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some person started typing it not...etc, etc. Okay...I admit it. I have officialy run out of ways I could have better spent my time. I don't think there actually are any. Except for maybe five and six. Now, those have possibilities. However, I am currently content to just sit here and type. For the benefit of you, the reader...who may or may not exist. Either way, I'm continuing to sort of entertain myself. I feel like I should be outraged about some topic or another. I just can't work up the energy to be outraged. Perhaps a nice, soothing mistrust. Yeah. I can work with mistrust. I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. Like organ grinders, and the evil conspiracies. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Now, some of you are probably thinking "Gee, Really?", or "Wow, I never knew that!" while others are thinking "Who's John F. Kennedy?" or possibly "Who or What is Kodak". I fervently hope that you're not thinking the last two...especially about Kodak. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. Or possibly a really good president who wanted to fly to the moon. Either way, he got assasinated. And ever loony in America decided that it was a conspiracy. Some even go so far as to claim that Kodak "changed" the pictures of the assasination to make an assasination in the bushes become a tree's shadow. I didn't know that they had such good technology back then. I have to wonder...why would Kodak do such a thing. Perhaps Kodak is actually a front organization for a shadowy governmental system that controls the entire world and didn't want mankind to obtain the freedom of the stars and so tried to sabotauge the space program even though it didn't work as well as they planned. Or perhaps not. Either way, Kodak is undeniably evil. How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? You can just bet that they look at every one that get's turned in to them, judging blackmail value, and whether or not you could get arrested. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. Unless you have a digital camera, which are a symbol of freedom from the old ways and willing enslavement to the new ways. We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. I better go...I think Kodak is tracing my site....I'm back now! And, once again, I have proof that someone actually took the time (two hours) to read this entire Longest Text Ever! It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. But true. Even more incredible, this time it's someone I don't even know! Wooooooo! I feel inspired and happy and other really good emotions and stuff. And so, I'll take a trip down memory lane, to the dark depths of the past, to when I decided to make this page. It was inspired, in part, by my sheer and utter boredom. In school, back before I even owned a computer, I'd type random words for long periods of time, 'cause I had nothing better to do. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. But, it ended up making more sense than I anticipated (scary thought, huh). Oh, well...I tired of nostalgia. Back to the present. Right now, I'm just typing so that no one can say that I've been slacking off. I don't think I have any conspiracy theories...except pop-ups/pop-unders. Have you ever had the evil pop-up that says that if you click here, it'll get rid off all the annoying pop-ups? Isn't that sort of ironic? Could the pop-up blocker people have chosen a better means to advertise their product? It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? Or CRAP, for short. And the lady representing them, calls the radio station...on a phone. It's stupid and ironic and just shouldn't exist in a better world. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? Insane, chaotic...hmmmmm...I wonder who thought of it? Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? It is now my civic duty to discover this ancient mystery, and reveal it to the uncaring world. Or maybe I'll go make a frozen pizza. Yeah. That sounds good, too. Since I'm not particualarly inspired at the moment, I should leave and let you gather what is left of your sanity. I just can't seem to stop, though. Okay...I can do it. I'm leaving. I'm back...and it's several hours later. I've decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog, Moose. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) In otherwords, she's a small yappy dog who is big for her breed. Today, I met her arch-enemy. An enemy so terrifying that Moose cannot stop shaking. An enemy so hideous that Moose must destroy it at all costs. An enemy so dangerous that Moose fears it above all others. Now you may be wondering what horrible beast is Moose's arch-enemy. And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. You would be correct in your suspiciousness...for Mooses arch-enemy is...*dramatic drumroll*...a small, white, feather. Now, Moose has seen many feathers, birds even. But none have struck terror in her little moose heart like this particular feather. So...naturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. She even got her sister and mother in the spirt of things. Now her sister sounds an alarm whenever she sees the evil feather. Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. So am I. It doesn't smell funny, (I asked my brother, since I don't have a sense of smell), it seems perfectly ordinary. So, I've decided that Moose works for some secret government organization, and that the feather is the key to the destruction of the world, and I am just blithely letting it enter our home, so that it may furthur its evil plans to destroy the universe. That is the only possible explanation as to why it upsets her so much. Or...maybe it's the feather off of the cartoon owl from the tootsie-roll pop comercials (one...two...three..*crunch*). Whatever the case, I decided that the whole world, (or three of four random people) deserve to know that if the world and or universe are destroyed, it's the evil, little, white, feather's fault. Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it...:) I am officially back. And you, the potentially non-existant reader gets a once in a lifetime chance to hear me rant and rave about my Horrible, Horrible Family Vacation. I know. You feel very, very honored. It's like this. My mother is a control freak, and she decided on the spur of the moment that we were going north to visit relatives. Later that day, she decided we were NOT going north, we were going south to a beach resort. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. The very next day, she decided that we were going north, after all. So, we packed everthing up. Before we knew it, we were on the road. The first part of the trip was fairly easy. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. That meant that my mother would be in the back, with me and my younger, eviler sister. Immediatly, my mother started complaining. It was uncomfortable in the back, it was too hot, it was too cold. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. That meant only one corse of action for them. They started shaking and barked their little heads off. This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. Unfortuantly, we had already driven 337 miles toward our destination. After much argument, my father was going to turn around, untill he realized that my mother was going to drop the dogs and me off, and then turn around and continue north. This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. We eventually reached our destination after 16 hours of virtually non-stop driving. We got there, we ate. We slept. My mother visited relatives. And so the week went by. I got to go to a huge library, and see Terminator 3 at the local theater. That was the high point of the entire trip. The last day, we were deciding where to eat. My mom said that she didn't care. So my dad picked a steak place. My mother tried to order a mushroom-swiss burger...only to discover that the place had no swiss-cheese. So she decided on a salad, only to discover that they didn't have her favorite salad dressing. After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat. After complaining how hungry she was, and about the poor quality of the resteraunt, she walked out of the resteraunt, instructing the rest of us to "enjoy our meals". And I wonder where my little sister gets her annoyingness. Not that my mother is annoying...just set in her ways. The whole meal thing was about the only interesting thing to happen during the week. On the way home, we had gotten approximatly 4 hours into the trip when my mother predicatably decided that we had to go back and eat at the 50th aniversary of her favorite ice cream place. Needless to say, we ignored her. Oh, and when my sister had to go to the bathroom very badly during a traffic jam, my mother had the good taste to making hissing/water noises to make my sister's problem worse. She claimed that my little sister always did it to her, and she was getting pay-back. Between her bickering with my sister, and obsessivly playing neopets games, I don't know what to do with her. Anyway...that was my family vacation rant. It sucked. No suprise. At least it's over. Sorry if I complained a lot. If you don't like it, start your own longest text ever. Anyway, I promise to go back to my usual routine the next time I rant here. I thought of a topic on the way home, but forgot it. Seeya. I'm back! I know, I took you completly by suprise. You thought you'd gotten rid of me. *cheesy super-hero voice* Well, fear not, random citizen, for I, PSOPC am here! *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. Yes, that's right. It's time to warn you, the viewer...er...reader...about the evils of various stuff. Today's lesson is: subliminal messages . That's right, folks, mass hypnosis via commercials. Now, I'm sure you've at least heard of subliminal messages , right? No? Well...prepare to be enlightened. Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words into a main image. You don't see them, but your subconsious (dreaming) mind does. Your subconsious mind acts on whatever it is told. What does this mean to you? It means that WAL-MART TV IS EVIL! EVIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!!! Why else would they invest all that money to show commercials in their own store? Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! Subliminal messanging also explains the successes of certain fast-food resteraunts, and brand name items. BEWARE YOUR TOASTER OVEN! Okay. That had nothing to do whatsoever with subliminal messages...it's just cool to say. Anyway, only watch wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a new set of TUPERWARE, even though your old set is PERFECTLY fine. This has been a public service announcment. Pretty cool, huh? Uh...you don't have to take the subliminal stuff seriously. It's true, and all, but I have no proof about wal-mart, or certain fast food resteraunts. It makes sense, though. Wal-mart TV is evil. You cannot deny it. Seeya...hmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computer...I'm back. And I feel that it's time for a FAKE commercial break, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead consumer. And now, a word from our non-existant sponsor. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. Then, just wait for technology to "catch-up" (get it, catch-up, Ketchup?)so you can travel to the 5th Dimension like our scientists almost did. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?" It's about six contestants who compete to create the worst, least likely "reality" TV show. The winner not only gets the million-dollar prize, they get the chance to produce the show they created. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours!(Next exciting commercial!)And for all the idiots out there: Try new and improved Dum-B-Gon! Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! Not only that, Dum-B-Gon: stimulates weight loss, cures "any" illness, does simple houshold chores, never leaves the toilet seat up and is the perfect gentle companion for your kids. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? It's yours for only 3 bi-monthly payments of $3.95 ($3,95,000 on days ending in "y")Don't forget, Dum-B-Gon is practically guaranteed!* (*Not a guarantee) (Next commercial)Have you ever wondered why food sometimes goes bad in your fridge, even if you've only had it a few years? It's because of the "evil little faeries with sharp little teeth." These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. How do you stop them? With our patented "spray". Our "spray" kills over 99.9% of "faeries" (which are much to small to see) Our "spray" also kills most disease causing agents, like rats, or pigeons. WARNING: Leave food sit in an open, well-venilated spot for a week before eating. And now, back to our featured presentation. Wasn't that semi-entertaining? I bet you wanna go eat some Ketchup covered Dum-B Gon right now, while watching "reality" TV. Just make sure you "spray" your food first. Pathetic, wasn't it? Oh, well. I was bored, and a dilligent reader suggested I make fake commercials, so...therer they are. Happy? Good. I'm leavin', for now. I'm back. And I'm willing to enlighten you, the potentially you-know-what reader. Today, I was checking out some weird news. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. Some people disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. It's a cheap shot." So...doesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. Another article claims that an anitseptic turned a polar bear purple, drawing large crowds of people. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Before you know it, we'll have orange alligators, pink tigers and blue lions. School children won't be able to correctly identify the color of a zebra. Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. It's wrong, I tell you. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. What values, you say? The basic moral belief that Polar bears should be WHITE. Unless we spray-painted the snow purple, too. Then it would be okay. As long as the bear blends in, you know? Speaking of animals, there's a cat in California who is a kleptomaniac (likes to steal stuff). He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. He then leaves them under his owners car. Okay, better leave. I'm back. And I don't really have a topic today. I'm just bored. Sometimes I just do this, you know? Start typing without any idea about what it is I intend to say. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Or maybe I am monumentally bored and don't have anything else to do at the moment. Either way, I'm here. You must be pretty bored, too. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? It would make no sense. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? I would be. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. Yeah. That must be it. Unless you're bored. Then I completly understand. I need to find a topic. Here, topic, topic, topic! Come on, I won't hurt you, I promise! *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! Why are you afraid of little ol' me? *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. Kinda like me and "Meg" webcomic we are trying to do. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. Which is what I do best. Okay, I'm done with that litte commercial. What now...hmmmmm...should I share with you more of my paranoid/delusional conspiracy theories? Or have I been doing that too much lately? Oooooo! I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! #1You can say or do anything and normal people will agree with you in the hopes that you'll be satisfied, shut up, and go away. Far away. I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. RANDOM PERSON: Uh-huh, that's nice. ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. I mean, she traded Asia for a carrot! And she doesn't even LIKE carrots! RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? ME: Yep. She also is the goddess of red jello. RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary school...uh...except for that head-explouding part). Okay...on to: #2 You can get out of practically anything by saying: a)It's against my religion b)I'm allergic to that. c)I have an extremly irrational fear of that. d)I already did that in a past life and it sucked. e)My psychotic bunny predicted I'd die doing it. Unfortunalty, several of those reasons LEGITAMITLY apply to a certain activity I do every Tuesday, which WILL NOT BE NAMED HERE LEST I GIVE IT POWER OVER ME! I'm allergic to parts of it, have irrational fears about others and I'm pretty sure it's against my Jenny religion...along with eating mashed potatoes, or potatoes of any kind. I'll add that to the FLAMING CHICKENS HANDBOOK. Thou shalt not eat spuds. Hmmmm...time for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheese...and chickens...and flame. Fire is good. Fire is free. Fire is my friend...until it burns me. Then it must die...painfully. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. And #5: You can give each of your pets several weird names such as: Ringling-Raison-Bailey-Suzana-Midnight-Schultz, Squirell, Moose, Moose-Moose, Moosey-Moose, Linzey-Moose, Muffin, Squirell-Muffin, Yabby-Doodle, Abby Normal, Wiggle-Baby, Wiggle-Muffin, Witle-Baby, Cheese-Monkey, Muffin-With-Squirell-Juice, Squirell-With-Muffin Juice, Moosey-Juice, Squirell-Monkey, etc. Now, wasn't that a fun list!? Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? I should make bumber stickers saying that. Proud to be weird. It'd be cool. Anyway, gotta go! *yawn* I'm back. Last night I was super-charged with lots of sugar and not a lot of sleep. I ended up writing things during the time of night when EVERYTHING is hilarious, including the word sheep. To compound things, I wasn't alone, and things just escalated. The following is everything I wrote during that sugar-coated time period. Some are answers to e-mails, the rest are just stuff I wrote.

Definitly. THen we go to library. Guess what? Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late at nite and everything is funny but we can't laugh 'cause everybody is sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water we sobered up even though we weren't drunk but we ate sugar...lots and lots of sugar. MOstly donut cake. Okay. JOsh says it was only one piece of cake. WE got it at Wal-mart. Or his mom did. OR something. Goodbye..

HAPPY SEPTEMPTER!

Hi guys! Just wanted to share an update, a bit of the work I’ve been doing for the past couple of days, and what I have planned to do for the upcoming holiday on Monday!

So first semester started, and I have officially completed my second week of Sophomore year! My classes are nice, but I’ve been having a bit of trouble with my online classes, which I can talk about later! Even though I only have two on-campus classes, I am taking 14 credits, so I’m very busy with schoolwork most of the time. Below I’ll start with a summary of my classes and how they’re going! I’ll then talk about my past and future work. Keep in mind this post is gonna be kinda lengthy so if that’s not your thing, probably don’t click below lol.

So, starting from my first class of the week every week! Human Relations.

To start off - my Human Relations class has a lot of notes. We take notes every class - which I like - but we haven’t really done any actual assignments. We did have a quiz over our book’s second chapter (that I missed because I mixed up a holiday and didn’t go to class - I’m dumb lmao) and we watch video clips, but there hasn’t been a big assignment or anything yet which I’m grateful for.

We do this thing in the class called a reading where we talk about a certain celebrity in a given book and what they have to say about surviving college / advice they have altogether, and I really like the vibe it brings to the class. We are going through each student and doing one every class, and it’s a really nice way to start class every day. We all discuss the advice and give our input, which I think is a good way to get everyone involved.

Over all the class is a bit slow as of late, but discussions make it worth it for sure. I’m excited to see what’s to come with this class!

Next is my Digital Communications class!

This class is entirely online, so we do weekly modules and have until Friday of that week to finish all the work, and it’s all very in-depth assignments. Videos, discussion boards, and quizzes are all major parts of our grades for this class. I love all the feedback and discussions we have over certain topics in this class, because it really opens you up and makes you see other’s POV on things!

It’s a very modern class, and I feel like I’m learning about things happening now in real time (just last week I learned about AI Cars and computers that mimic brain activity to work more efficiently) and it’s something I feel is really important when it comes to digital themed classes! Technology is moving fast, so it’s important we keep up.

Just this last week we learned about viral video trends and the era of “The YouTubers / Online Influencers” and it was so interesting! If anyone is interested in the video (which also talks about YouTube’s history and is a really educational video at its core) I will link it here: Viral Video : YouTube Marketing.

If I’m not using an online website to complete an assignment (just last week I had to look up my name and relatives names to see just how easy it is to find people’s information online), I’m usually writing a long reply to a video for a grade, or responding to other student’s replies for a grade as well. Even though it’s a grade it’s all very open and doesn’t feel too grade-ish. We all have great discussions.

The next class I’m not too fond of, just because I slept my way through high school Algebra, is of course: Algebra. Paired with the sleeping and my state just not caring about our education at all in the past, Algebra is really difficult for me this year. I have to re-teach myself everything from scratch and get the help of some of my friends who are good at Alg (u know who you are). It’s been really difficult, but I’ll get there. On the other hand, also been very rewarding when I understand it!

My book for this class was expensive ($103) and I’m trying to take really good care of it. I bought as apposed to rent because I was told to on the syllabus (it came with an online code which we ended up not even needing so hey! waste of money!) but now I’ll probably sell it back to the school library after this term ends to get some of that money back. 

The number one thing that has helped me, funnily enough, is memes! My friends and I have made memes relating to rules for certain problems, and it’s really helped. I even went as far as printing off one of the memes and stapling it into my math notebook, just so I can see it when I’m studying! I’ll show it to you just because it makes me laugh:

( Any ARMY’s out there - HMU )

As you can see I rewrote my notes for Math just last night (which I plan on doing from now on) just to refresh my memory and study a bit more on the topics I knew I needed to. Figuring out how least common anything works has been literal hell for me, but I’m slowly starting to learn. It’s a work in progress, for sure.

Apart from that, my teacher never gives us set due dates, and we can take all our tests at home, which is a complete life saver for me. I’m about a week ahead in the class because of all the extra work I’ve been putting in trying to re-learn everything, and I plan to keep it that way. This class is challenging but rewarding. In class my professor lectures for about an hour and a half - two hours depending on how long the chapter is (which is usually maybe like 15 pages?) and we take notes the whole time.

The class is pretty silent so I’ve been trying to ask a lot of questions and talk to the people next to me to help the awkward atmosphere as well. I’m a shy person in general but I can be friendly and this class really needs that sort of attitude from the students. The professor is old and he’s really nice, but he’s not too keen on involving students, so I try and help.

Over all, I like the class. It’s challenging for sure, but that was expected. I’m excited to see where this class goes in the future though!

So to finish this off, I’ll talk about my last class, which has proved to be the most difficult regardless of me doing no work at all for it yet. Geology.

The reason I’ve had so many struggles with this class already is because the way it’s set up is just a big mess if I’m being totally honest.

To make things short (because I wrote this once and it literally deleted on me) I have to use three different websites for this one class, a giant textbook (that should have come with an access code to one of the websites, but didn’t), and the way my teacher creates assignments is Messy. It’s all stuff I’ll have to get used to I guess, so we’ll see how things play out. I really hope I like the material though because if I don’t I won’t hesitate to take a fat W on my manuscript (I’m kidding, but it’d be nice to be able to drop fml).

So, moving on from that, let’s talk about my weekend!

THURSDAY:

So my weekend started early because my HR class was cancelled for Friday, so I went ahead and did all of my Digital Comm. work on Thursday. It was all due that next day on Friday so it was a good thing that I finished it all (it took about four hours) but it was interesting so it wasn’t too bad to do. Apart from that I did a lot of misc. stuff like filled out paperwork for my college and tried writing a little bit. I didn’t do a lot of my homework on Thursday because I knew I had all weekend, so that was pretty much all I did academic wise that day.

FRIDAY: 

God himself couldn’t tell you where I was or what I did on Friday. I had a really bad day I think so I kind of just slept the day away. I truly can’t remember. Oh well though, we’re all human, we have bad days!

SATURDAY:

So Saturday (last night) was when I actually got shit done. I finally found motivation to rewrite my Math and HR notes (coffee. coffee was the motivation), and I got them looking really pretty as well as put those memes in, haha. Here’s a picture of a couple pages I rewrote!

So on top of consuming two whole cups of coffee, and binging on MNM’s, I rewrote my notes and then wrote out some emails I needed to send to a couple of my professors. I got a lot done last night which means I’ll have more time to finish what I need to this week!

FUTURE ASSIGNMENTS:

SUNDAY: 

So, today is going to be busy. I’m going to spend today doing all of my Geology work, which means catching up on Chapters 1-2, and then starting the work for this week (that is due on Thursday). I’m already a little behind because of getting my book late, so the work is piling slowly. I’ll have to work hard to finish it all by Thursday.

MONDAY:

Monday will be spent finishing any Geology work I didn’t finish today (Sunday), and then doing my Math test (due Wednesday), and all of my Digital Comm. work (due Friday). I want to finish all my work for this week in a big clump by Tuesday at least so I can finally just relax and spend a few days relaxing and then picking up my study routine again on Friday. 

So it’s clear these last two weeks have been a mess, but I’m slowly starting to get into a routine. I want to plan a few trips to the library this week to get some work done, and then maybe to the gym on campus! Just so I can see if it’d be somewhere I wanna go in the future. I also want to make it a goal to make a few more friends, and possibly join a club.

I will for sure keep you guys updated, and if you’ve read this far, thank you! I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings, haha.

Happy September and happy studying!

-Lana.

For the trans ask game, can I cheat and just say all of them.. because I am a very curious person and I want to know it all (or just the ones you feel like doing!)

Aaah yay thank you!!! I really loved this ask memeHow did you choose your name?So I had been using a different name for like a year when I first came out and I just wasn’t feelin it y’know??? Jason is close to my dead name so I knew my parent would appreciate that cause they love my dead name a lot. But also (and this is dumb forgive me) Jason Todd and Jason Grace were characters that I loved and identified with and I just sorta felt drawn to the name :)What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)Uuuuugh 100% how short I am 🙄 I hate it so muchDo you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria? Physical :P I’m short with a phat ass and thicc thighs and it’s a messWhat do you do to perform self-care when you're feeling dysphoric?This is probably more aggressive than typical self care but I force myself I stare at myself in a mirror and find every masculine thing about myself and focus on thatWhat was the first time you suspected you were transgender?I was around 7 I think and I was at the lake with my parents and a bunch of their friends. So my mom and all the wives were at the front of the boat and my dad and all the husbands were off the back of the boat! For some reason I identified a lot more with the men of the group and I have this weirdly clear memory of being really jealous of their armpit hairWhen did you realize you were transgender?I didn’t have a word for it but there was an episode of House where a little “girl” came in because of abdominal pain or something and they found out the kid was intersex and gave them the choice to live as a boy because of their genitals being more “male” or whatever and they did it! And I remember watching that as a kid and hoping that I would wake up one day and have a penis or a doctor would one day be like oh whoops! We messed up! You’ve been male this whole time! I was probably like 8 or 9 when that happenedWhat is your favorite part of being transgender?Belonging to a community where we are all united by this similar experience :) it’s like a familyHow would you explain your gender identity to others?I’m a guy like 100% How did you come out? If you didn't come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?I slowly came out over a few years. I sat my mom down and told her and we cried and it was a mess, I sent my dad and step mom a 80+ slide PowerPoint, I sent emails to certain people! Fortunately I’ve never been outedWhat have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?I ordered a packer a few years ago and it was so bulky and awkward and I just looked like I had a huge boner so I never worse it again 😂What are your experiences with binding or tucking?I’ve been binding since high school and my ribs are a little warped because of it :P luckily my chest is already pretty small (like a cup small) so I’ve gotten away with not binding in public if I just wear a big hoodie or shirt. Do you pass?About 99% of the time I do! But every once in a while I get called ma’am and I wanna dieWhat (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?I want top surgery so bad I wanna screamHow long have you been out?For about 8 years :)What labels have you used before you've settled on your current set?Ugh all of them basically! Lesbian, gay, pan, ace, bi. I’m the entire acronym lolHave you ever experienced transphobia?God yes 🙄 I had a boss at a job in college who would dead name me constantly and when I’d correct him he said if I wanted to “play make believe” I could do it on my own timeWhat do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?I’ve been exclusively using the men’s room for about 4 years nowHow does your family feel about your trans identity?Well I haven’t spoken to my mom in 3 or 4 years soooooooooBut my dad is cool with it!!Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?I don’t think I know what this meansWhat do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans? I wish I could just tell my self what being trans is cause my biggest problem as a kid was that I just had no idea this existed Why do you use the pronouns you use?I use he/him because they’re traditionally masculine or male and they make me feel like a man :)Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?Sometimes my anxiety is like lmao you’re faking for attention or whatever and I’m like ???? I’m literally not What's your biggest trans-related fear?Being killed first off. But on a less extreme level, I’m terrified of being with a person romantically and they just treat me like a girl or like I’m not a real boy and tbh this has already happened to me a couple times. I just don’t want it to happen againWhat medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?I’ve been on T for three years now, I’ve been going my Jason for about 6 years, I present as male 100% of the time and in all of my work and school stuff everyone calls me jason and uses he/himWhat do you wish cis people understood?That I was never a girl, I wasn’t “born a girl” and then became a boy. I was born a boy but because of my body people just assumed I was a girl but I wasn’t and never was and never will be. Also you don’t have to be bi or pan to be attracted to me. If you’re attracted to men you can be attracted to meWhat impact has being trans affected your life?I’ve lost most of my family and I’m low key terrified all the time about being hurt or rejected because of itWhat do you do to validate yourself?Same mirror thing lolHow do you feel about trans representation in media?Well most of it is hell problematic and we deserve so much better. As a trans actor it especially pisses me offWho is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?I read Chaz Bono’s book my freshman year of high school and it really helped me understand a lot of things when I was first coming outHow are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?Not as much as I would like to be :(How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years? Hopefully by then I’ll have had top surgery! Still presenting and identifying the way I do nowWhat trans issue are you most passionate about?Free or affordable access to medical transition stuff like hormones and surgeries. Also as an actor trans representation in the mediaWhat advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?No one is worth your comfort. If someone stops loving you because of your identity then they don’t love YOU they love their idea of youHow do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?I’m thin and white and I recognize my privilege with thatWhat, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?I love makeup and “feminine” fashion and shit like thatDo you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?Masculine but I love fem things so 🤷🏻‍♂️What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?I’m bi with a leaning towards men! I dunno it’s kinda whateverIs your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference? I’ve dated two trans people and one cis persona and I totally preferred dating trans people just because they understand feeling cis people just dontHow did/do you manage waiting to transition? God it was horrible. I found my diary from when I was like 17/18 and all it was was me talking about how if I don’t get to transition I’d dieWhat is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things? Tumblr probably, also Twitter. Do you interact with other trans people IRL?I have one whole trans friend that I actively talk to :’) but I really value her friendship so muchAre you involved in any trans-related activism?Currently no but when I move to New York I plan on being more involved!Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.When I came out to my dad I slept for 9 hours and he said it was like I could finally breath relax and rest after holding everything in for so long

250.

Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? ehh somewhat

Have you ever worked over 50 hours in one week? Yes

What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Microbiology.

Where would you like to travel to in the next year? nowhere lol i am already moving across the US

Do you think teenagers should focus more on their education rather than on relationships? i guess, idk

Where do you live, and with whom? In an apartment with my boyfriend

Have you ever studied abroad? Nope

Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? my birth control and my inhaler

List three things that you need to get done in the next few days. pack up the rest of my apartment, get the entire apartment cleaned, cry

What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? living

What’s your opinion on couples ‘staying together for the kids?’ it's a really dumb thing to do

When was the last time you did something on a whim? I don't even know

What was the last website you were on, before this one? youtube

Do you ever lose track of what day of the week it is? occasionally

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? yes

Have you ever stolen anything? If so, why? i don't even remember

Have you ever spent over $50 (€43) on a bottle of wine? i do not like wine

When did you first start taking these surveys? a long, long time ago

Is your hometown famous for anything? corn? idk

What was the last thing that made you smile? probably one of my pets

Have you ever locked your keys in your car? yes

What season do you wish lasted longer? fall or spring

What are some things a house would need to have for you to purchase it? a big bathroom and kitchen, a washer and dryer in the walk in closet, a wrap around porch

How old is the last male you texted? 24

How old is the last female you texted? in her 30s

Have you ever 'taken a break’ in a relationship? probably i don't remember much about the previous one's because i've been in a relationship now for almost 6 years lol

What was the last picture you posted to Instagram? (if you have an account) i think a pic of me and my friends ziplining

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? no

What do you think of current slang terms, such as 'on fleek’ and 'fam?’ i mean i use fam a lot lol

Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? i have no idea

Can you remember what you were doing at 8:15 this morning? sleeping

In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? Rhonda

If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? tell them to mind their own damn business

What did you have for lunch today? Or, if you haven’t had lunch yet, what do you think you will have? I have some sushi, was a really late lunch though

Is there someone you desperately want to see/speak to atm, but you can’t? not really

Do you and your significant other have a special song? What is it? no

If you HAD to sing something on karaoke, what song would you choose? oldies

Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? the other day when i was cleaning up puke at work, i puked myself 

What time is it now? Are you tired? 10:49 pm, yes

If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? i do not really wear makeup that often.

What if you found the last person you kissed, in bed with the last person you texted? really odd considering they've never even met

The last person you held hands with - have you ever kissed them? Yes.

Can you remember what your parents bought you for Christmas last year? no lol

Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? because i am in love with him.

Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? no

When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? not very long at all

Has any of your friends ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you found attractive, and you would secretly have liked to have for yourself? yeah lol

How many guys do you know named Matthew? A couple.

Think about the last person that made you cry. Would that person be there for you if you needed help? yeah, i think so

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? my boyfriend

Has someone of the opposite sex made you cry at any point during the last 24 hours? probably.

Is there anything you would like to say to your most recent ex? Nah.

If your friends are sexually active but you aren’t, does that bother you? Have you ever felt pressured to have sex before you were ready, because your friends had done it? no?? why would it? kind of, lol i almost lost my virginity in a threesome when i was drunk

In your opinion, what is the difference between having a crush and being in love? Have your own experiences helped you to realise that there is a difference? a crush is just you usually like someone or lust over them and being in love is a lot stronger of a feeling.

Did the last person you hugged have any of these letters in their name: T, R, K, P, J? yes

What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours? sour punch straws

What was the last compliment you received from someone of the opposite sex? i dont even remember

Who did you last say ‘I love you’ to? What colour are that person’s eyes? My boyfriend, brown

If you took away the first and third letters of your name, what would you then be called? ierr

Name 7 things that make you happy, and explain how it might affect you if you had to give them up. animals, my boyfriend, my sister, my mother, bowling, rock climbing, conversations with nice people. i would be sad if i had to give any of these up

Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? i do not have a facebook

You buy a bar of chocolate, but you decide that you don’t want to eat it now, and put it in the fridge. When you go back later, half of it’s gone - someone else has started eating it! Who are you most likely to blame? my boyfriend

Choose 5 friends, and talk briefly about each person’s longest/most serious relationship. Who was the relationship with, and how long did it last? i dont really pay much attention to my friends relationships lol they are all with their long term significant others

Do you think it’s wrong for someone to commit themselves to a long-term relationship at a young age? Explain. Nothing wrong with that at all

Is there something happening in the near future, that you’re looking forward to? moving lol

About Me~

“tagged” by @vontacompton.

My Last:

1: Drink: Water, but maybe wine by the time this post is through. 2: Phone Call: @catneepx, an angel. 3: Text Message: Mom! 4: Song You Listened To: “Doesn’t Remind Me” by Audioslave 5: Time You Cried: Like five minutes ago. Not even an exaggeration, I cry over everything, and it’s triggered by every emotion. This time it was because I watched The Iron Giant for the millionth time.

Have You Ever:

9: Lost Someone Special: Yeah boi 10: Been Depressed: Yeahhhhhh boiiiiii 11: Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up: Once! I can’t even think of drinking a gin and tonic anymore. But I took it like a champ. It was super funny then and now, lmao. 12: Three Favorite Colors: Red, Blue, and Gray/Black tbh

In The Last Year Have You:

13: Made New Friends: Yes! More before I moved, but I have made a handful of friends recently. 14: Fallen Out Of Love: Nope! 15: Laughed Until You Cried: Absolutely. 16: Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: lol yeah 17: Met Someone Who Changed You: I don’t think so! I’m usually who changes myself. I don’t think I have ever changed because of someone else. 18: Found Out Who Your Friends Are: For sure. I don’t tolerate disrespect or pettiness lmao 19: Kissed Someone On Your Facebook list: My husband, so yes! 20: How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: All of them, even if I knew them briefly. 21: Do You Have Any Pets: I have a dog! Back in MO, I have another dog and a cat, who I miss a shit ton. 22: Do You Want To Change Your Name: No, though it was hard to let go of my last name when I got married. I’ll always hyphenate it on unofficial documents lmfao. My new one is pretty unusual, though. 23: What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: I made a booze cake and drank at home, since Brendan won’t be 21 until October and I had no other friends in WA lol. 24: What Time Did You wake Up: 9:30 25: What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Playing Skyrim 26: Name Something You Can’t wait For: I can’t wait to visit home in July, for the short term, and I can’t wait to achieve my goal of being a forensic nurse. 27: When Was The Last Time You saw Your Mom: November. I miss her so much. I am her number one fan. I’ll talk about my mom to everyone, she’s so smart, funny and pretty! 28: What Are You Listening To Right Now: Chopin’s “Ballade No.1 in G minor, Op.23″-- I’m planning on learning this on the piano soon, and I grew especially attached to it after watching Your Lie in April tbh.  29: Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: Actually, no. 

General:

30: Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: Boredom tbh, but that’s nothing new. My inability to relax, too! I just want restful sleep god dammit. 31: Most Visited Website: YouTube probs 32: Hair Color: Dirty blonde?? Light brown maybe?? some copper is in there too?????????? Idk anymore. 33: Long Or Short Hair: Short right now, though I want to have medium-length hair for a while before having long hair again.  34: Do You Have A Crush On Someone: I’m married, so I obviously do lmfao. 35: What Do You Like About Yourself: I like my personality-- I like making people laugh and how I look on the bright side of life (since I used to be a real big whiny pussybitch). 36: Piercings: Ears 37: Blood Type: Ok i’m gonna be fr I have no idea what my blood type is so if i need blood immediately i’m fucked 38: Nickname: Syrup! 39: Relationship Status: Married to my fav human. 40: Zodiac Sign: Capricorn 41: Pronouns: She/her 42: Favorite TV Show: the X-Files, though I also like Parks and Rec. 44: Right Or Left Handed: Right 45: Surgery: I got my tonsils removed as a kid (super shit) and my wisdom teeth removed (also suuuuuper shit). Once I am done losing weight, I’m going to have a breast reduction because this shit is out of control. 46: Sport: Softball/baseball 47: Vacation: I would like to visit Europe (particularly Ireland, England, Germany, and Italy) and Japan, China, and Korea. In the US I would like to visit each state at some point. 48: Pair of trainers/Sneakers or Tennis Shoes: I call them tennis shoes, and I have a nice black pair of running shoes which are super comfy.

More General:

49: Eating: an apple lol 50: Drinking: wine 51: I’m About To: fold laundry and play more Skyrim, probably, maybe, hopefully. 52: Waiting For: Death to Take Its Inevitable Toll on my Flesh Prison 53: Want: hugs, friends, to be able to eat like a fat piece of shit w/o being a fat piece of shit lmfao help 54: Get Married: check 55: Career: I want to be a forensic nurse. I love working with the human body, always have, and I have always been fascinated with the forensic industry. I’ve wanted to do something that makes me happy and does something to get justice for people who have been hurt, and the moment I decided upon this career path I felt like everything finally made sense. A huge weight left my shoulders, that’s for sure.

Which Is Better:

56: Hugs Or Kisses: Hugs! I love hugging. I hug everyone bc I have a lot of platonic love to give every single person. 57: Lips Or Eyes: yo’ peepers! 58: Shorter Or Taller: I’d say similar height or taller because I am incredibly short, but personality is what seals the deal for me in the end. 59: Older Or Younger: about the same age, give or take a year (since my husband is about a year younger than me), or older. I wouldn’t be able to stand someone all that much younger than me if we’re being honest here lmfao 60: Nice Arms Or Nice Stomach: Stomach?????? 61: Hook Up Or Relationship: Relationship, for the other person’s sake. I’m too much of a goof for hooking up and I’d make someone feel insecure for cracking a joke in the middle of some sort of sexual encounter. It is literally impossible for me to take sex seriously. Also, I just prefer the companionship part of relationships over the physical. 62: Troublemaker Or Hesitant: Troublemaker, but not like... a felon or anything. Just goofy, without shame, and kind of annoying. Like me. But being reasonable when appropriate is important, too.

Have You Ever:

63: Kissed A Stranger: Yeahhhhhhh, immediate regret (cigarette mouth!). 64: Drank Hard Liquor: ya 65: Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: every gd day dawg. and it’s partially because in order to find my glasses I need my glasses to see them. 66: Turned Someone Down: hoooooooo boy, yes, yes, yes. 68: Broken Someones Heart: HOOOOOOOOO boy, yes. I was always caught off guard by it, because I never see someone as potential relationship material, but always as bff material, until they make it explicitly clear. It just wouldn’t feel right to assume they may have a thing for me. So, most of my friends in life have been guys, and I have had to deal with a lot of uncomfortable confessions and rejection from said pals. I hate hurting people, and they’re often very hurt by my rejection, and I end up losing friends over it. I don’t even like thinking about it lol. 69: Had Your Heart Broken: Yup! Abusively and tragically. Some Carrie shit, haha. It doesn’t impact me now, except for making me angry. 70: Been Arrested: I’m a straight edge dude. 71: Cried When Someone Died: Duh 72: Fallen For A Friend: I can’t fall for someone unless we are friends, so yes! Brendan was my BFF for a while until he told my oblivious ass he wanted to date me.

Do You Believe In:

73: Yourself: Yes! The only person you can always depend upon, no matter what, is yourself. 74: Miracles: hmmmm, maybe. I’ll say yes, but my skeptical mind will always question. 75: Love At First Sight: Attraction at first sight, maybe. I believe in friendship at first sight, if we’re being honest. I see someone and just get this feeling that we could be awesome friends. Love is something much more deep rooted for me. 76: Santa Claus: I believe in My Dad 78: Angels: I’m not sure. I’m open to the possibility, due to the limitations set by existing as a human, but I’m not Christian or anything. I feel like there’s “something” out there, but I’m just a dumb human and will likely never be able to know for sure. I think human beings can be deemed angels.

Other:

79: Current Best Friend’s Name: Casi/Stephanie (I love them both so much my dudes). 80: Eye Color: Green/Hazel (more green than hazel tho-- it’s really cool because i have a fleck of gold in one of my irises, and my grandma has the same fleck of gold) 81: Favorite Movie: I couldn’t narrow it down to one. I love the LOTR movies, The Sixth Sense, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Spirited Away, Saving Private Ryan...... the list goes on forever. My family has always been a big movie family.

im not tagging anyone lol

Now that I’ve disrupted your scrolling with what is simultaneously the worst edit and the worst image that has ever existed on this hellsite, I have something I wanted to say. 2017 has been a tough year for all of us, but there were some things about this year that made my life better. Some people, actually! I’ve officially left the 1D fandom (it’s a scary place) to join the HP fandom, but I’ll always have one foot in the gutter because I met some really amazing people in that fandom this year. I spent nearly six years in the One Direction fanbase without making a single friend, and I’ve been super fortunate lately to acquire a lot of them! Quality friends who I didn’t even know I was missing. So as a way to kind of round off the year, I wanna say thank you, to all of you.

@please-dont-freak-out - You were the first person who ever approached me online. We were fast friends, and every time we talked at first, I was terrified I was going to fuck it up. Now you’re my mom, and one of the kindest people I know.

@louistunnelvision - I don’t even remember what we started talking about, but I do know that I was super excited to meet you and that you’re one of the coolest people on the planet. Because of you, I finally feel like I have a family here on this terrible website, and aside from being an awesome friend to me, I’ll always remember you for that. I owe you one, or a million, and I s2g one day I’ll get a gift to you. Lmao

@rosealouis - MY MOMTHER. My soft, dainty, beautiful, grunge momther. You’re sunshine personified, and Harry would be proud. I remember messaging you to tell you happy birthday and being terrified you would think I was weird or that I would spaz out and do something dumb, but then when we properly talked, you were so cool???? Ilysm????????? I feel like we’ve gotten super close recently, and I really value our friendship so much, I mean that.

@hands-and-knees-7-years-straight - Les! I’m not gonna lie, I see a lot of myself in you, and I mean that in the best way, all the things I like about myself. Except that you’re like all those things on steroids. You’re so sweet, and you always put others first, even when you’ve got a lot going on yourself. I always feel like I can go to you, and you are truly a treasure of a friend. I’ve never met anyone as giving as you are, and you deserve the entire world.

Leilani - I’m gonna just send you the link to this because you changed your url and then I deleted my old blog and now I thought I knew your url but it was the wrong one and anYWAY. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I know we both have a lot going on, but now that you’re around a little more, I’m so so so glad to see you in my notifications. You always make me smile, and I love how excited you get about things when you talk about them, and you always make me feel like I matter. You have some beautiful nicknames for beards as well, which is bound to brighten anyone’s mood!

@foolishrainbow - YOU. ARE. THE. PUREST. I love you so much??? I don’t even know where to begin??????? You’re so approachable, and you just love Niall so much, and like. Niall is everyone’s favorite, and there’s something about you that just reminds me of him, like. It would be impossible to dislike you.

@pezzles17 - UHHHHH, there are no words for you. You’ve been such a great friend to me from the get-go, even though I - right off the bat - confused you for somebody else. I feel like I can talk to you about literally anything, and you’re such a role model. You have a huge heart, and you are so passionate about the things you love, fierce in your friendships. You seriously have a heart of gold (even though you don’t like my son Draco), and you’ve been there for me when I wasn’t sure anybody was. EVENTUALLY, I’ll get that book to you. I’m the worst.

@doesthelittleone - Things I associate with you: rabbits and :v. You’re just such a warm person???? Literally, you could disappear for a week and come back and it feels like you never left. Friendship with you is so natural, and you always have the BEST animal pictures???????? You’re like. I don’t know, ice cream and daisies on an April morning. (Also Drarry osngosgn)

@intrinsicsyn - BOYYYYYY, I straight up would have driven my ass to Alabama for you. You really intimidated me at first????? (I can’t remember why, because you’re so approachable?) I hope we make it up there and get to visit you on the trip, because as much time as you spent away at first, you’re part of the family now! And you’re never gonna get rid of me! WHOOPS.

@damnbreaux - Dude, what can I even say? We were such fast friends. Immediately, I was like, “Holy shit, who is that?” You’re so smart, witty, and just. I don’t know how to put it exactly, but you’re like exactly the person I’ve been looking for for years, and I never even knew I was looking! I wish we talked more, but I love you very much a lot, and I always smile so widely when your name shows up in my notifs.

@feel-love-like-weather - MY BUDDY. MY PAL. My aesthetic bro, resident boot enthusiast, and selfie queen. I love you so much, and I love how we can go from talking about mundane stuff to freaking out about exams to talking covers and Fleetwood Mac. I was so happy to finally meet you at the show, and next time I’m over that way, we should hang out again! You’re an icon, truly. (And your dog is adorable wtf.)

@haveyourselfaharrylittlexmas - We haven’t talked in a while, but you are SO. SWEET. You were super understanding when I had things going on and had to sort them out on my own. I miss you in my inbox, and I still think about you all the time. You’re so good at putting other people at ease, and it’s so easy to see why so many other people love you!

@harry-loves-louis-bitch - You’re such a gift, honestly. A complete and total sweetheart. We met because of Drarry, and honestly, I was so excited because I had just switched over to being a HP blog. And then we got to talking and you’re just so???? Amazing?????? I never have to wonder if you care, and you’re such a courteous person. I hope your practicals go well, and I’m sending lots of love your way.

And last but not least, @love-someone-special - A surprise friend! I wasn’t expecting to make another friend any time soon, especially within the end of the year, but here you are! We’re still getting to know each other, but you’re so easy to talk to, and I spend like 18 minutes spazzing out and you never leave, so I guess that’s a good sign! Lol. You have a gift with words, and I’m already so glad to have met you.

Here’s to the friends I’ve made in 2017, and may you all prosper in 2018! I love you all, and I hope our friendships only grow from here on out. Now we can all pretend that terrible picture at the top of the post never happened and go about our merry ways.

Much love and a whole lot of feels,

Courtney 

625

Have you ever been afraid to get up and go to the bathroom? This is usually me between 1 to 4 AM lmao. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No, I’ve never subscribed. When I still collected magazines I’d buy them at the mall, but we never use the subscription leaflet thingies that they’d insert inside. How many websites do you have an account for? Too many to count honestly, but I regularly use around over 15. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? I’m part of Spotify and Netflix memberships but I pay for neither. Gab lets me use her Spotify which is paid for by her parents. :(( and my dad pays for our Netflix family bundle. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? No, it’s so time-consuming and uncomfortable. I have a good idea of how my body is built anyway so I just pick up pieces I like and buy them.

Have you seen The Blindside? I tried watching, but it was so unbelievably boring and I never finished it. What's the best movie you've seen this year? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Do you know how to fire a gun? No. I’ve never held a real one, ever. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Take my dog and hide somewhere. Idk, I have a feeling the neighbors would be pretty unreliable so I don’t think screaming for help would do anything. I’d rather stuff taken than have anyone get hurt. Have you played the Sims 3, yet? I’ve never gotten to play it, no. What's your favorite type of pizza? I will always order quattro formaggi and nothing else.

Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Not really. My favorite branch is Yellow Cab, but I don’t have a favorite independent pizza place. What are you afraid of? Just because I recently got three injections to the roof of my mouth and it reminded me of my fear of these: needles. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yeah. It was very scary for me while it was happening because it was with my best friend, and there was always that chance of our friendship crumbling if I tell her how I felt. Fortunately it didn’t go that route. How do you let someone know that you like them? I like to be straightforward and just tell them I like them. Have you ever asked a friend to ask someone else out for you? No. Who'd you last see in a tux? In any context, Ross Geller from Friends. In real life, it’d probably some dude in BGC since a lot of people there dress fashionably. Were you sad when Tim Urban got sent home on American Idol? I remember the name, but I don’t remember being enthusiastic over him during that season. I didn’t dislike him either though; I guess he was one of the contestants I didn’t particularly keep an eye on.   What about Jason Castro, 2 years ago? He was good but I didn’t like his genre, so I wasn’t too devastated when he was eliminated. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? My mom did this for us once with a movie that was premiering on the Disney Channel – Jump In – but otherwise, recording shows was never as popular here as much as it was in like the States. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? I hate having to pronounce the words beautiful and bureaucracy. Would you rather take a shower or a bath? Bath. I get to do it much less often, but I also find it infinitely more relaxing. How many times do you shower in a week? At least four and at most six. What brand's your cell phone? Apple. Have you ever sexted? In the past. Haven’t in a while though.

How many contacts do you have? I have...too many contacts to count manually. It doesn’t help that at one point, Gabie’s contacts synced to my phone as well so now I have a bunch of her numbers as well. I’ve just gotten too lazy to delete them this whole time so they’re all still just sitting on my contact list. Do you have your own computer? Yep, I’m using it right now. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? If you’re talking about kindness, Laurice. If you’re talking about ambition and passion...I’d say probably Tina and Bryan. Who's the bravest person you know? Not so sure about that. I think everyone I know is all scared in their own way lmao. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? Gab, of course. And she has been having my back. Do you ever make up retarded words with your friends? First of all, dumb word choice. Second, no. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? I think we all did these for each other back in high school minutes before algebra period. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? Back in high school, I guess Gab was a little sportsy. I know she played softball and before that, basketball. She isn’t much into sports these days though. Are you any good at writing? I can write mean essays and research papers, but you can’t pay me to come up with a poem or short story. What's your favorite form of writing? I like learning and picking up new info more than anything else so I like reading educational stuff in a Wikipedia-like format, honestly. I’m not sure how else to describe that haha. What do you think about Lil Wayne? The autotune is a little weird but other than that I don’t really care for him. Lil Wayne Vs. Eminem...?? :S Probably Lil Wayne? Eminem has his fair share of problematic lyrics over the years and Lil Wayne has just always struck me as super chill lol. Have you ever given up on someone before? Sure. Did you end up regretting it later in life? Never. I tend to give people so many chances to get better so once I finally cut them out, it just means they’ve fucked up enough for me not to regret finally giving up on them. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? Yes. Have you ever read Shakespeare? I had to read Shakespeare in high school. R&J for freshman year, Merchant of Venice in sophomore year, Macbeth in junior year, Hamlet in senior year. How come no one knows what MGMT is on here? Sorry to make you feel worse but I had to Google that too just now. What did you dream about last night? Nah, I straight up passed out last night. I was too tired. Have you ever looked up the meaning to a dream? Sure, especially if the dream was a nightmare. Have you ever tried to change someone? No, I don’t think I’ve done this before. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn't wanna change? That’s a pretty deep question, but I’m not in the mood to dive in much so I’ll just say it’ll always be a different reaction from person to person. Do you thnk that anyone currently has a crush on you? Other than my girlfriend, I doubt it. What profession do you admire the most? Those that have to deal with ALL KINDS of people, honestly. Servers, cashiers, salespeople in stores, grocery clerks, etc. Mad fucking respect. I’m sorry for the boomers and Gen X people who flip out over the smallest things, babies who spill shit everywhere, customers who nag way too much, and for all the Karens and the Barbaras of the world. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don’t think I ever did this. What's the hardest lesson you've ever had to learn? World doesn’t stop for your grief. What are you wearing right now? I am wearing the blue dress I wore out today because I am too lazy to change. Do you miss your ex? No ex. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? If they are a dick and if they are loud, because most of the ones I’ve encountered tick both of these boxes. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. I still do these days. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be and why? Money. We have more than enough and I’m always grateful, but it’s a very human thing to always be wanting more of it anyway, and I fall under that tendency as well.

TW for self-harm and suicide. And sorry that this is long and personal. I don’t generally like these kinds of posts but I needed to get this out.

When I was in elementary and middle and high school, and kids mercilessly bullied me and teased me and excluded me and treated me like shit, I knew for a fact that they were right. That I deserved it. That they had, in their wisdom, seen something bad and wrong and creepy about me, and taken it upon themselves to make me feel so bad that I would never interact with anyone again. The ideal goal would be that I would kill myself and no one would have to face my bad ugliness again, but I never got up the nerve to do that and succeed.

Instead, I settled for closing in on myself. Keeping myself away from other people. Never reaching out or making any moves. A lot of my social anxiety came from that, and my introversion. When I did interact with others, it was an extreme effort to calculate every move to make sure that none of my ugly self slipped out, so it was tiring. And it was anxiety-inducing. Eventually, even when I was alone I would monitor what I did to make sure it wasn’t wrong or bad by anyone’s standards. If I did something wrong, I would be sure to self-harm to punish myself. If I did something wrong in public, I would find subtler methods like scratching my arm or stabbing myself repeatedly with a pen.

The idea that I deserved it, and that the bullies were cool and smart and were doing this in the service of the greater good of society, was why it took me so long to seek therapy. It took me years and years of therapy to get to a point where I’ve been in steady recovery and believe that it was not my fault that I was bullied (and also abused by a parent who repeatedly reminded me that I was the bad one and I had provoked it).

I still have a lot of troubles with my depression and anxiety, and when I’m in a low point- like today- I’m more susceptible to dumb remarks and criticisms from this blue hell-site. I’ve been thinking a lot about the general attitude in hilarious and progressive text posts about how bullying in high school is such a deeply good thing, because it prevents gross weird kids from growing up to be disgusting creeps. How sometimes, arguments about things like shipping discourse, kinkshaming, or God knows what else you all argue about, are reframed into the Cool Smart Bully and the Creepy Little Nerd Victim. And usually, it doesn’t bother me, because it’s a shitty joke on a shitty website, but sometimes it makes those thoughts creep back up again: see? the bullies are right. They’re making sure disgusting bad people like you don’t get out into the world.

The thing is, usually those jokes come from an understandable place. I have certainly seen people on here do things like ship adults with minors and claim that anyone who criticizes them is bullying. Or that somebody’s anxiety and past trauma entitles them to create racist fan art to “cope”. Those are bad excuses and untrue, but that doesn’t mean that anxiety, trauma, and bullying are minor issues. It doesn’t mean that people who suffered from them are all exactly like those Internet assholes. And it doesn’t mean that those things are inherently deserved, and it certainly doesn’t mean that bullying someone, abusing someone, giving someone anxiety and trauma, is something to be celebrated and encouraged and bragged about. Or an integral part of society.

I don’t want this post to be misunderstood, hence why it’s so obnoxiously long. I don’t mean that we’re not allowed to be “mean” to anyone ever. Obviously not. Calling someone out rightfully is not bullying or abuse. Punching a Nazi is not bullying or abuse. Stopping an abuser is OBVIOUSLY not fucking abuse. But perpetuating the idea that “bullying the weird kids” is cool and good... that lines up with the words of bullies and abusers, yeah.

Especially when you consider how “weird kids” is often defined on here. Some people genuinely say “weird kids” or “nerds” to mean “people who use their weird nerdiness to get away with racism and sexual abuse.” But a lot of times, that context is erased or just not there in the first place. Instead, “weird kids” is defined as fat, ugly, hairy, gender non-conforming, queer or LGBT+, lonely, anxious, introverted, sweaty, uncomfortable, interested in unusual things, non-sexual or asexual, virgins, bad at relationships, bad at socializing.

I mean, think about the average kind of joke on here... A fat girl with too many gender and sexuality labels just screeching that her anxiety is triggered when somebody makes fun of people who have trouble finding a date! Lol! How is it all of a sudden cool and progressive to make fun of her? And you know what, that sounds like I was making fun of a Reddit bro from TumblrinAction, but I’m not. I’m talking about the cool, edgy, smart group of adults on here who have been mocking fat or anxious or gender-non-conforming or introverted or all-of-the-above girls for ages now under the guise of being progressive. Not all of those things are part of institutional oppression, sure. But a) some of them are, you assholes, and b) it’s still cruel to mock someone for something even if it isn’t institutional oppression to do it, and c) some of those things crop up a lot more in oppressed groups, shockingly, and a lot of those are actually results of bullying and abuse.

I know I just shared a lot of personal things, and probably I’ll regret it, but I am just sick and tired of seeing this shit on here. I know it’s just a website and I don’t generally care this much, but it’s still part of a stream of media that I see constantly, and these jokes are often shared by people I respect. So it’s difficult to see. Thanks for reading this gigantic essay if you did.

tagged by @greyjoysails and @theongreyking and @motherofkittens94

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST 1. drink: tea 2. phone call: probably my dad 3. text message: husband 4. song you listened to: hmmm “nymphetamine” 5. time you cried: last sunday while watching episode 11 of “bojack horseman” those who have seen, know. 6. dated someone twice: yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it: once 8. been cheated on: nope 9. lost someone special: been lucky. or woefully deficient at forming personal connections 10. been depressed: bojack speaks for my soul 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: twice. both times, into the sea. 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. ocean color 13. sunset color 14. deep night color IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: i think so??? 16. fallen out of love: never 17. laughed until you cried: god yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: n

19. met someone who changed you: as much as possible at my age 20. found out who your friends are: i already knew 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: technically yes GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i barely use it rn probably not 23. do you have any pets: whiny calico cat named Sneaky Penny. goldfish Bully. 24. do you want to change your name: i used to but i made peace with it 25. what did you do for your last birthday: almost certainly got drunk. probably on a yacht. 26. what time did you wake up: 7:45 pm last night 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: working and listening to audiobooks 28. name something you can’t wait for: TWOW release date lol 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: last weekend 31. what are you listening to right now:  aquarium gurglings 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: maybe but it would have been very long ago 33. something that is getting on your nerves: nazis everywhere 34. most visited website: this hellsite 35. hair colour: greyblue and pinkpurple. naturally an indecisive reddish brownish blonde 36. long or short hair: medium 37. do you have a crush on someone: that phase is long past 38. what do you like about yourself: my hair looks pretty rad and there is a lot of it 39. want any piercings: nah 40. blood type: O+ 41. nickname: -------- 42. relationship status: happily married 43. zodiac: gemini 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: bojack is me and i am bojack. GoT you have upset me and i am not speaking to you 46. tattoos: nah 47. right or left handed: right handed 48. surgery: i have had a BC implant in my arm for 4 years when they replaced it last year they had a hard time yanking the old one out and it looked really painful I watched but couldn’t feel a thing. 49. piercing: ears 50. sport: I suck at sports but i used to enjoy tae kwon do. still a decent swimmer when i get the chance 51. vacation: I wanna go to italy and japan and tahiti and key west but will probably just stay home 52. pair of trainers: ? no? MORE GENERAL 53. eating: strawberries and ice cream 54. drinking: brandy 55. im about to: take a nap

56. waiting for: george rr martin to finish writing his damn books 57. want: sane, competent leadership in my garbage country. A direwolf. Theon Greyjoy to get the love he deserves. 58. get married: it’s a pretty nice deal 59. career: rich annoying aunt from a p.g. wodehouse novel

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: depends on the person rly <<<<

61. lips or eyes: lips first 62. shorter or taller: don’t matter much 63. older or younger: older. i don’t like to be the oldest in the room, i’m not a wise grandma. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach 65. hook up or relationship: i regret not hooking up before in a relationship but i am not consitutionally suited for hookups 66. troublemaker or hesitant: this is a dumb question <<<<<<<<<<<< HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: god yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no thank god 70. turned someone down: yep 71. sex on the first date: no  72. broken someone’s heart: nah 73. had your heart broken: def not 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: nope DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah 78. miracles: no 79. love at first sight: no i needed a couple hours of conversation to confirm 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: nah 82. angels: nah OTHER 83. current best friends name: nick 84. eye colour: gray 85. favorite movie: lots but fury road sticks out

i’m not tagging b/c... i lost track of who i’ve seen do this meme lol. if you want to do it and say i tagged you go for it.

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @petrichor-note. Alright, let’s get to it!

The Last

1. drink: Water 2. phone call: Yesterday. I called to activate a new debit card. I don’t call people if I can help it. 3. text message: Yesterday. My dad texted me to tell me to clean the kitchen. 4. song you listened to:I typically listen to music on Pandora. I can’t really remember what the last song it played was. I feel like it was something by Jack White. 5. time you cried: Man, I cry all the time for no reason, I don’t remember. 6. dated someone twice: I’ve only dated one person. I wouldn’t date anyone twice. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: About a year ago. 8. been cheated on: I’ve never been cheated on. 9. lost someone special: Well, my mom, my grandpa, and my grandma have all died within the past 4 1/2 years. My mom was the first one, and the most difficult.  10. been depressed: Kind of just getting over a bout of depression.   11. gotten drunk and thrown up: About a year ago. (It’s actually really difficult for me to get drunk. Not because I have a high tolerance, but I can’t drink a lot of alcohol very fast due to stomach problems.) 

3 Favourite Colours

12. Blue (all kinds of blue, it changes depending on my mood) 13. Uuuhh...aside from blue, I don’t think I have other favorite colors...I’ll just say purple 14. And black, I guess

In the Last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah. I’ve been making a lot of internet friends recently. 16. fallen out of love: Eh. I don’t even know if I’ve ever been in love with anyone. 17. laughed until you cried: I don’t think that’s ever happened to me. 18. found out someone was talking about you: In the past year? I don’t think so. 19. met someone who changed you:  Not in the past year, no. 20. found out who your friends are: I mean...I think I always knew who they were. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Oh shit...yeah, I did...

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I was about to say all of them, but that’s actually not true. All but one. The other is a penpal. 23. do you have any pets: I have a cat. :3 His name is Ratigan. And I guess I unofficially own the other cat we have, too, cause no one else wants to claim her.

24. do you want to change your name: Nah. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: Nothing on the day of. I hung out with one of my friends later, though. Once you get passed a certain age, there’s no joy in birthdays. 26. what time did you wake up: Like, 10. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. 28. name something you can’t wait for: Living on my own. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 4 1/2 years ago. 31. what are you listening to right now: Nothing. 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Have I?? I don’t know... 33. something that is getting on your nerves: I don’t know, lots of stuff. 34. most visited website: Maybe Youtube. Or here...ugh... 35. hair colour: Blonde 36. long or short hair: It’s a little long. I want to cut it. 37. do you have a crush on someone: I sort of had a crush on someone I worked with. But I quit my job, so. 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m smart. I’m self-aware. I’m open-minded, but rational. There’s other stuff. 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: I think it’s B. 41. nickname: Alex 42. relationship status: Single. Not ready to mingle. 43. zodiac: Aquarius 44. pronouns: Feminine pronouns are fine. 45. favourite tv show: I really like dumb comedy shows/detective shows, like Psych, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, etc. Recently my brother got me into Orphan Black, though, which I really like. 46. tattoos: None. 47. right or left handed: Right. 48. surgery: Nope. 50. sport: Sports! I know nothing about sports.

51. vacation: I guess this is my vacation. No school, no work. I do need to eventually find a new job, though.

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Nothing. I just finished eating ice cream >.> 54. drinking: Water. 55. I’m about to: Idk. Probably waste time on the internet. 56. waiting for: This to finish. 57. want: Lol. Money? Fame? Fortune? I don’t know, a bath bomb would be nice. 58. get married: Not really interested in getting married. 59. career: Oh boy. I want to become an animator, but I also want to be a writer and a voice actor. I couldn’t decide on just one, so I’m going for all three. I’ve gotten some experience acting, and I’m currently planning to go for an animation degree. I write every day. So, yeah. We’ll see how things go, I guess.

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Kissing is gross in theory, but the chemicals that are released inside your brain when you’re doing it are nice. Well, if the person you’re kissing is good at it and has good hygiene. If not, it’s just gross. Hugging is better.  61. lips or eyes: Eyes. 62. shorter or taller: I’m assuming this is talking about a partner. I’m bisexual, so. If it’s a guy, I prefer them to be taller than me. Not like that’s hard to do, I’m pretty short. If it’s a girl, I prefer them to be around the same height as me. Although, the last (only) girl I dated was taller than me... 63. older or younger: Most of my friends are younger than me, but not by a lot. I don’t get along with teenagers very well (I never have). I get along okay with people that are only a little older than me. If we’re talking about partners, I prefer people who are around my age or a little older. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: “Nice” is subjective. Does this mean toned? Plump? Succulently slender? How am I supposed to decide based on this???  65. hook up or relationship: I don’t think I have what it takes to have a hook-up. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemakers can be more fun, but hesitant people tend to be smarter. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: Nope. 68. drank hard liquor: I’m googling what counts as “hard liquor”. 

Oh. Yes, I have. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Yeah...I lost my glasses in the ocean... 70. turned someone down: I’ve turned lots of people down. (I swear, I’m not trying to brag.)  71. sex on the first date: Not likely. 72. broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so? 73. had your heart broken: Yeah. 74. been arrested: Nope. 75. cried when someone died: Yeah. 76. fallen for a friend: Eehhh....

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: Most of the time. 78. miracles: Not really. 79. love at first sight: Nope.

80. santa claus: Nope. 81. kiss on the first date: Sure, why not. 82. angels: No.

OTHER:

84. eye colour: Blue 85. favourite movies: I like movies. It’s hard to pick favorites. But I’ll name a few. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Cornetto Trilogy, The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, etc.

Okay, I’m gonna tag @krustalos, @afopy, @mellzw, @chennoir, and...I guess that’s it. 

I knew I would never tag 20 people. 

Get to Know Me Tag

Tagged by @aboutmikasa​! Thank you very much ^^

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

1. Drink: water  2. Phone call: my dad 3. Text message: my mom/sister in a group text 4. Song you listened to: the opening to Utena since I just downloaded the soundtrack 5. Time you cried: I think when i talked with my dad about some personal stuff a few days ago :/

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: never dated someone once ://// 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: yes? depends on what you mean by lost i guess 10. Been depressed: quite a bit 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: one time......in downtown disney.....listen,,, we all have our low points..,,

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: pale blue, purple, black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: not really no 16. Fallen out of love: nah  17. Laughed until you cried: oh yeah, i laugh pretty easily lol 18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah 19. Met someone who changed you: nah 20. Found out who your friends are: shrug, i’ve had some friends do some great things for me though that I really appreciate within the year, does that count? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nah

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i haven’t been on fb for years bro 23. Do you have any pets: HECK YEAH MY CUTE PUP KANI 24. Do you want to change your name: nah, i’ve come to really love my name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: stay in bed and eat dinner with the family at a really great restaurant, it was pretty chill 26. What time did you wake up: like 1pm lol. 7 am wake up call tomorrow though ugghgugh 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: eating an ice cream cone because i’m 24 and i can do that as an adult 28. Name something you can’t wait for: i don’t even know man 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a few weeks ago? she’s staying with my sister right now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i was better at being social, i’m too awkward to be around and too afraid of people, even my friends, tbqh 31. What are you listening right now: Utena OST 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i’m sure at some point, but I can’t recall a specific Tom atm 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me, i’m very annoying 34. Most visited website: this site sob

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: not sure, don’t think so? 36. Mark/s: lot of beauty marks and a small scar right below my lip 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a vet for the longest time only to realize animals don’t like me very much ^^; 38. Hair color: brown  39. Long or short hair: short hair 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nah 41. What do you like about yourself: truly nothing lol 42. Piercings: I got my ears pierced a little over a month ago! 43. Blood type: I honestly couldn’t tell you, I wish I knew how to find out. I even got my blood drawn like 40 times over the past couple years because of medical problems and I still have no idea >.>;

44. Nickname: Jay 45. Relationship status: quite alone 46. Zodiac: gemini 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: No idea? Sense8 is a goodie

49. Tattoos: nope, it took all my courage to get my ears pierced lol  50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: yeah, I got surgery on my ears because i was kinda sorta deaf for the first 2 years of my life - or rather, everything sounded like it was underwater or something? You can image how badly that destroyed my speaking ability. I’m still not very confident in my speech ability lol. Also wisdom teeth, but does that even count? 52. Hair dyed in different color: a few colors, but nothing unnatural 53. Sport: I used to play volleyball, basketball, and badminton but now I can barely walk up the stairs smh   55. Vacation: been to a few places around the world early on in my life, not so much anymore  56. Pair of trainers: 95% of my shoes are ones I steal from my sister so I don’t think I own a pair of my own >.>;

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: usually canned soup or chinese food but if I happen to find myself at a place with a salad bar, caesar salad with sunflower seeds and ranch dressing is my choice 58. Drinking: coffee or water is honestly all I drink 59. I’m about to: eat dinner 61. Waiting for: me to get my shit together 62. Want: me to get my shit together 63. Get married: probably not 64. Career: i’m working on it...............

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: please give me many hugs  66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: no preference  68. Older or younger: as long as it’s not too much older or younger i don’t care 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms? idk 71. Sensitive or loud: depends, there’s a time and place for either one 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship? 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: why not “spontaneous but not dumb”, a good in between

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: the first thing I had (on purpose) was fireball whiskey lol 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: oh yeah 77. Turned someone down: yeah 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah oof my bad 80. Had your heart broken: nah not really 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: fictional yeah, but irl I get that whole numb feeling instead because I don’t know how to process emotions correctly 83. Fallen for a friend: nothing past imagining what-if scenarios and extremely awkward dreams

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: no 85. Miracles: i mean, i believe if something has even the slightest chance of happening (whether we expect it or not), it means it really could happen. I don’t believe that’s magical though, just simple probability 86. Love at first sight: nah i think it’s attraction at first sight. It’s never been a cute, romantic notion to me 87. Santa Claus: aww 88. Kiss on the first date: depends on the people involved

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: a great person who recently moved away ;A; 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Kill Bill Vol. 1

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE:

aa sorry, maybe next time ^^;