#I’m going to tag this because other rad lesbians seeing it would be good | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

electioaroace · 5 years

Text

Electio aroace?

K so i’ve been thinking about this ever since the creation of the terms oriented aroace (by biaroace ) and angled aroace (by official-angledaroace )

As someone who has always wanted to be with girls and only girls but felt no attraction the idea of being both aroace and another orientation blew my mind.

Oriented aroaces and angled aroaces are great terms but i don’t really fit into either of their definitions. I don’t feel tertiary attractions and i don’t fall into the grey area of attraction.

For a while i thought i should accept i’m just aroace and stop trying to be a part of the wlw community. I felt fake. The thought of making a term for myself crossed my mind but i discarded it; i would be called cringy, annoying, i would be accused of trying to shove myself in places i didn’t belong in. I would be made fun of.

Then i realized i was already being called cringy and annoying. I was already being accused of trying to shove myself in places i didn’t belong in. I was already being made fun of. That’s just how it is to be aspec on tumblr right now. At least i could be happy with a term that fit me while they do it.

And i know, every aroace that is in a relationship just call themselves aroace and doesn’t make a fuss unlike me. But i think the people i date influence my identity and i want to reflect that.

So i’ve decided i’m a lesbian electio aroace.

I still felt a little guilty for calling myself a lesbian but then i thought: “if i’m a woman and i date women, and have sex with women and hold hands with women and only with women, then anyone who sees me, anyone who knows about my relationships will see me as a lesbian. And if the people around me see me as a lesbian and i see myself as a lesbian then why wouldn’t i be a lesbian?

So this is my orientation. Electio aroace: a person who feels no attraction whatsoever but has sexual/romantic relationships anyway. It’s going to get called cringy but i don’t care. The fantastic thing about the ace and aro communities being so young is that we get to create our own history and our own terms. The sky is the limit and i think that’s wonderful.

Maybe other people want to identify as electio aroace or maybe it’s just gonna be me. I’d like other people’s opinions and input. Here’s a flag i made:

Idk, maybe some people will think it’s stupid to create a whole new term. "just say you’re romance/sexual positive, no need for this!”, i imagine some will think. Maybe this has been done before and i didn’t see it. I really don’t know.

If i end up being the only one who finds this term useful i’ll be fine with that, but i think it’d be rad if there are others who feel the same way as me. If this term helps another person i’d feel really good for sure.

It’d be super duper appreciated if people reblogged this, at least so people know this is a thing.

Criticism is welcome as long as it’s constructive. Please don’t be hostile about it.

(EDIT)

This

Is the new electio aroace flag! I’ve seen some posts using the other one but this is the updated version! I think it’s an improvement!

(EDIT 2)

I’ve edited this post since i’ve changed the name of the term.

It used to be cupio aroace but i changed it to avoid confusion and because it could be interpreted as things i didn’t intend for it to mean (you don’t need to be cupiorromantic/cupiosexual to identify with this term for example!). The term now is “electio aroace” (electio means choice in latin).

(EDIT (sort of?) 3)

I’m stupid so i deleted my previous blog not knowing every post i made on it would disappear from the tags as well, so here it is once again!

#electio aroace #cupio aroace #aroace #aro #ace #aspec

539 notes · View notes

bookenders · 5 years

Note

Storyteller saturday! What was the first thing you knew that /had to be/ included in your wips? What's special about it? What is giving your motivation to work on your current projects? What's a neat worldbuilding thing you came up with?

Storyteller Saturday!

Hey hey @timefire25! Thanks so much for the asks, friend!

I’m gonna tackle these fantastic questions in order:

[H2H = Heart to Heart

FF = Fish Food

AOPC = All Our Painted Colors

TND = The Neither Days]

1. What was the first thing you knew that /had to be/ included in your wips?

H2H: Lesbians. Happy, live-beyond-the-end-of-the-story lesbians who can do magic and are ridiculously wholesome. Also: a strong, loving community; social commentary; enough fluff to stuff a whole set of pillows; cool science stuff.

FF: Humor! Without it, this story would be super duper way too dark. Also, lots of social commentary on… *checks notes*

That. And legit depictions of mental health issues.

AOPC: A culture centered around ART. I love art. And stories.

TND: Okay so there’s this one scene coming up that’s super rad and I’m really excited about it. It’s been in my head since the beginning and it’s like, the second scene I thought up. I love the imagery and the symbolism and the feelings. It’s great.

2. What’s special about it?

H2H: Sometimes you need to read something that will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Fluff makes the world go ‘round, ya know? And lesbians gotta survive. Also, I’m passionate about found families, which is why the story has one at its very center. I love writing stories about people who don’t feel at home somewhere, so they find with other people who feel the same and call a new place theirs. It’s an important thing to learn: there’s always somewhere for you, and always someone out there who can catch your drift.

FF: Stories like this one are ways to see the truth of reality. Okay, that sounded super intense. What I mean is that this is a story about a group of people who have been used coming together to fight back against a system that’s doing its best to tear them down. Including accurate and respectful depictions of mental health in this story is important to me, too. I feel like this genre is a great place to explore that.

Also, I need to work on my humor writing so that’s pretty special, I guess.

AOPC: I loved the idea of a culture based on art. What do they value? How to they keep records of events and their history? How do they share information? What do they hold dear? It’s sort of my own version of the Legato Conservatory, for those who listen to TAZ. I don’t know of any other fantasy cultures 100% centered on art, either. It’s a story about storytelling and all the ways you can use it. And I think that’s pretty special.

TND: The metaphor and the symbolism, with the context of the canon, is so full of feels it makes my heart clench. It’s an unexpected coming together, a reaching out of two hands that meet in the middle while the world spins off-kilter around them. It’s an oh and a gasp in the same breath. It’s a fall that feels like flying.

That’s about as poetic as I can get without spoilers.

3. What is giving your motivation to work on your current projects?

Right now, not much, to be honest. It’s midterms time and I’m a grad student, so life is pretty much study hell right now. But my stories are my creative therapy, so I expect I’ll start writing again pretty soon after all my business chills out.

But on the regular: I really want to tell everyone about the big giant spoilers and how they happen in H2H, and one of the big confrontation scenes in FF (seriously, it’s a huge twist I don’t think a lot of people will see coming - one of them anyway 😉), and I want to figure out what the hell happens next in AOPC, and in TND, I really want to get to the switched POV chapter because it’s full of mutual pining and it offers a lot of really good insight into one character’s head (it’s my motivation to finish this transition chapter too because it’s taking forever).

4. What’s a neat worldbuilding thing you came up with?

H2H: The magic types I developed are pretty cool! Astromancy, Totem Magic, Sigilcrafting, and Pact Magic. There are a few others, but that’d be spoilers, my friend. Making these info posts was also very fun. I got to do nerdy research about magic and science!

And something I haven’t mentioned yet: liminal spaces are very important in this story! The town of Linsay is a liminal space. Gemma’s house is a liminal space. The police station is a liminal space for Oz. The lake is a liminal space. This is important: transformation takes place at liminal places. Magic is strongest there. The old is left behind and the new is just ahead. And the fae inhabit liminal spaces.

FF: I made a WIP page that mimics the Coalition of Heroes’ database! It took forever and it was really hard but I did it! And I think it looks rad.

In-world, hmm… I really like Lithium’s bar. It’s a place that’s like a hero-themed TGI Friday’s or Red Robin, and it’s also the hangout for off-duty heroes. They all chill there like it’s a cop bar for officers who are all undercover. It’s great. None of the civilians who go there know that they’re sitting next to high level super heroes. And Lithium thinks it’s hilarious.

AOPC: There are so many cool worldbuilding things in this story. One is the marriage ceremony I made up. The couple stands before the Namestone and the most senior Elder binds the bride’s left hand to the groom’s right. Then the men of the tribe line up behind the groom, and the women line up behind the bride. They’re ordered so the people closest to them, like family and lifelong friends, are first. One by one, the women dip their right hands in purple paint and mark the bride’s back with their hand print. The men do the same with green paint on the groom’s back.

After everyone’s marked the bride and groom, the Elder blesses the couple, holds their foreheads together, and then they turn around and press their backs together, mixing the paint and blending the colors together. The party starts as soon as their hands are unbound.

TND: Since most of the worldbuilding for this has already been done by the canon, here are a few recurring story threads I’m working with: Crowley vs. ducks, liminal spaces being the most comfortable and calming, “a good shock to loosen the tongue,” and the kinds of miracles that don’t work.

Thank you so much for these awesome questions!! 💜

I’ll add my tag lists since there’s a lot of information worth tagging about:

H2H

WIP Intro Post | H2H WIP Tag | Character Page | WIP Page | PowerPoint Intro

Character Tags: Gemma | Mel | The Ladies | Fred Coriander | Officer Oz

H2H Tag List: @katekyo-bitch-reborn, @cawolters, @wasting-ink-not-youth, @quilloftheclouds, @snickertoodles, @mvcreates, @writeness, @half-explored, @dcdarrells, @aslanwrites, @minusfractions, @purpleshadows1989, @royalbounties, @waterfallwritings, @the-clockwork-anything, @kriss-the-writing-nerd, @abalonetea, @timefirewrites, @tricksexual, @introspective-outreach, @alternativeforensicscientist, @sumoranges, @hermiones-writeblrr

[Let me know if you want to be added or removed!]

AOPC

AOPC Tag List: @quilloftheclouds, @snickertoodles, @half-explored, @chemistwriter, @purpleshadows1989, @waterfallwritings, @kriss-the-writing-nerd, @abalonetea, @alternativeforensicscientist, @hermiones-writeblrr

WIP Intro Post | FF WIP Tag | WIP Page | PowerPoint Intro

OC Intro Post: Phase 1 | Phase 2

Individual Intros:

Phase 1 (Main Cast): Iron Will | Overseer | Lithium | Babylon | Nightmare

Phase 2 (Supporting Cast): Sparkplug | Battalion | Ferro

***

[Let me know if you want to be added or removed!]

Fish Food Tag List: @theevolutionofledarose, @kriss-the-writing-nerd, @quilloftheclouds, @waterfallwritings, @dontwritethatone, @aeschknight, @abalonetea, @ladywithalamp, @writevevo, @danger-writes, @anika-writes-things, @sunlight-and-starskies, @writing-every-other-star, @shadeshadow234, @jaimistoryteller, @leave-her-a-tome, @dowings, @alternativeforensicscientist, @sumoranges, @notanalien51, @hermiones-writeblrr

TND

Link to Story | Story Tag

TND Tag List: @every-book-has-a-secret, @at-thezenith, @ofinkblotsandscript, @alternativeforensicscientist, @abalonetea

15 notes · View notes

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

Text

Gormless Ch. 13 – Everything’s awful but lesbians are in fact REAL

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband. In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England. Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag. She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon. He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok. Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything. Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government. She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

Turns out a preserved corpse of a Soulless person that the Kingair pack stole from Egypt is causing the humanization problem. However somebody is after that coprse, and knocked LeFoux and Lord Maccon unconscious. Alexia gonna have to fix everything herself HURMPH!

Chapter 13 – Everything’s awful but lesbians are in fact REAL

Wowzers! Here’s the climax chapter. It won’t be the height of tension, but it will be the height of my irritated confusion. My apologies for length, it was a long chapter, and full of a lot of bullshit. LET’S GO!

We get a rare good moment where Alexia looks at the passed out Maccon and worries about him. She makes a cute note about how his eyelashes are super long and once when she commented that she was jealous of his long eyelashes he tickled her neck with them. This will be the last genuinely good thing in this chapter.

Alexia goes to a recently woken up LeFoux. LeFoux is all distraught, and there’s a bullshit line about how being upset made her look slightly more feminine and Alexia, “Didn’t know if she liked that.”

CAUSE SADNESS IS A WOMAN DISEASE AND ALEXIA ONLY CARES WHAT LEVEL OF CURRENT FUCKIBLITY YOU ARE! THE LEVEL OF EGOMANIA ON THIS BITCH!

LeFoux is like, “Hey don’t be mad at the woman who shot me and your husband. She didn’t ~mean~ it.”

YES TURNS OUT THE BIG BAD OF THIS BOOK SERIES I FUCKING CALLED BACK IN CHAPTER 4 OF THE LAST BOOK! It was Angelique! GOSH WHAT A FUCKING TWIST! YOU KNOW THE CHARACTER WHO, AT THE END OF THE LAST BOOK WAS DESCRIBED IN TEXT AS A BLATANT SPY! Yet the entirety of this book Alexia thinks its LeFoux and goes so far as to think she’s faking being shot? She turns out of the room and all the werewolves are sleeping and instead of…I DON’T KNOW letting them know she’s identified the attacker? She just huffs that she must do everything herself.

GOD STUPIDITY AND A POINTLESS MARTYR COMPLEX IS REALLY FUCKING HOT! ALSO I’M GLAD THAT EVERY SINGLE WEREWOLF FELT COMFORTABLE FALLING ASLEEP WITH AN ACTIVE SHOOTER IN THEIR CASTLE THAT WAS EVEN ABLE TO PUT DOWN THEIR FORMER ALPHA!

So Alexia goes to the room where the mummy is, but Angelique is not there. So instead of disposing of the body that Angelique is clearly after, she’s runs up to the Aethongrapher room. Angelique is there and shoves her aside to escape the room. So they go back to the mummy room, and Angelique is trying to drag the body out of there. Alexia goes to shoot some of her sleepy darts at Angelique but just as she’s about to Ivy shows up to stand in front of Alexia and whine that Alexia is being callous to her. But as I have described before, this is not Ivy’s fault. Ivy’s kink is inconvenient timing. Blithering obtusely in front of a weapon while the bad guy gets away makes her CUM. The TV hasn’t been invented yet so she can’t stand in front of it during a crucial part of a show/game. SHE HAS TO FIND SOME WAY TO GET OFF!

DO YOU WANT THIS WOMAN TO NEVER ORGASM!?

Despite that Alexia is able to catch up to Angelique and knocks her unconscious with a hefty umbrella swing. She takes the mummy outside, and dissolves it using the acid function on her umbrella. I mean, I was hoping she’d go whole hog and it would come to life and fight them but WELP guess that would be stupid fun and we’re only allowed one of those things in this book and it ain’t fun. When the corpse is just about pudding, Alexia goes back in and hears Ivy scream.

OH NO!

We take a break from this regularly scheduled programming to swap over to Biffy, Channing, and Lyall at the Westminster Hive. Biffy apparently snuck in and broke their Aethonographer. This is just to let us all know that the message Angelique tried to send before didn’t get through. I mean targeting the Aethongrapher only, doesn’t make any sense AT ALL from their perspective and honestly you could have written the entire thing out to tighten up the story. But like I guess it was real important to have that bit where Alexia has to try 2 rooms to find Angelique.

FUCK ME RUNNING!

So Ivy screamed because a woken up Angelique puts a knife to Ivy’s throat and is leading her up the stairs. All the werewolves are there as well as Tunstell. Tunstell gets out the magic gun, which by the way they start calling the ‘tun tun’ which makes a lot of sense and is totes keeping it tense. Shouldn’t it be the tun gun? WHATEVER!

They go up to a room and Angelique makes Ivy open a window. Meanwhile Tunstell tries to sneak around the side while Alexia tries to distract her. By the way this is the first time we hear that Tunstell is apparently a big dude. I had totally assumed that since he was described as a meek servant/actor coated in freckles that he was a 5’5” adorable waif boy who weighs 110 lbs on a good day. I’m glad you waited till now to tell us that. After a bit of a scuffle Tunstell wrestles the knife away, saves Ivy, and Angelique tumbles to her death out the window. The gun is never shot and Chekov leaps out to die on the cold hard Scottish earth like Angelique.

Apparently there was a rope ladder leading down that window that Angelique was really hoping she’d be able to escape down, with the knife to the throat of a hostage? OKAY THEN! When Angelique woke up, why didn’t she just try to make a break for it, to avoid being persecuted by the supernatural police? What was the point of the hostage thing? Why did she have this rope ladder prepared?

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST BOOK! IT’S NOT GOOD ACTION IF THE ENTIRETY OF IT FALLS APART LIKE A BISCUIT IN TEA WHEN YOU ASK LITERALLY ANY QUESTION REGARDING IT!

You know what would have been a thousand times better? If Alexia goes to question a recently recovered Angelique, and Angelique in a panic puts a knife to a dipshit Ivy’s throat by a window. Angelique demands to be given the body. Alexia explains that she destroyed it. Angelique at first doesn’t want to believe it but eventually concedes. Saying something along the lines of, “…If I can’t deliver the body…then…then they’ll kill me…” The people there try to reassure her that they can protect her. However in Angelique’s stunned grief she slips from the window, Tunstell is able to grab Ivy but not Angelique. Was it an accident? Did she want to die on her own terms? WE’LL NEVER KNOW? The chapter ends where the crowd goes to check on her and Angelique is FOR SURE dead. LeFoux seeing the shattered body of her former lover, clutches Alexia and wails.

BUT NOPE IN FACT THIS HAPPENS NEXT!

So Alexia is the only one to go check the body. Angelique is in fact dead, but turns into a ghost. Angelique tells Alexia to perform the exorcism, which means kill her for real real. Alexia wants questions answered first. Angelique says she’ll answer 10, Alexia agrees to this.

So like…why are you going to respect her wishes now? Doesn’t she need to be persecuted under the law, or have proof of the Hive’s wrongdoing? You maybe want to give LeFoux a chance to talk to her, since she was obviously really upset and protective of her before? GUESS NOT!

Angelique, before the questioning is revealed to have done this whole task for the immortality, since she previously and is still working with the Westminster hive. She is GIVEN immortality in the form of being a ghost and is immediately like NOPE I’D RATHER DIE. HUHHHH? MAYBE IT’S NOT IDEAL VAMPIRE THING BUT REALLY?

GOD WHATEVER IT JUST GETS WORSE ANYWAY!

Angelique says that it wasn’t her who tried to break into her bag or poison her. Alexia asks if LeFoux is trying to kill her, Angelique says probably not cause you’d already be dead. AND LIKE WE ESTABLISHED THIS EXACT ANSWER TO THIS SAME QUESTION BEFORE. WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR QUESTIONS YOU COMPLETE IMBECILE!

It’s revealed that Quensel, the kid LeFoux was taking poor care of before, is Angelique’s son. Angelique was trying to hide the fact she had a son from the vampires cause the vampires won’t turn her if she has any family. Apparently LeFoux, was trying to get Angelique to take care of her son and to stop the vampire biz by threatening to tell the Vampires about her son. That didn’t work apparently. We also confirm that yes, SHOCK OF SHOCK, Angelique and LeFoux used to be an item for many years. So we have this OH SO DELIGHTFUL paragraph:

“Alexia had seen something of the kind in her father’s collection, but she had never imagined it might be based on anything more than masculine wistfulness or performances put on to titillate a John’s palate. That two women might do such things voluntarily with one another and do so with some degree of romantic love. Was that possible?”

(Irritated Stare with the phrase [stares in gay judgement])

You’re 26 years fucking old, you’re well aware that gay men exist, LeFoux has been hitting on her blatantly this entire book and has been pretty much screaming how much of a lesbian she is. Like you can have Alexia in bi-denial, sure, but for her not to even realize two girls can have sex and romance at one another outside of men JACKING IT!? FUCKING WOW! I want to be clear and say that there is a myth that Queen Victoria didn’t think lesbians were real when she was enforcing the no homosexuality laws. TO BE CLEAR THAT IS A MYTH! PEOPLE IN VICTORIAN TIMES KNEW LESBIANS WEREN’T JUST A MALE CREATED HORNY MYTH LIKE HOW WOMEN LOVE THE TASTE OF JIZZ, YOU THICK-HEADED TWIT!

The last questions that Alexia asks basically are, “Is it possible for women to love each other?” and “You’re a cold bitch aren’t you?” QUEEN PICKED TOP INVESTIGATOR HERE! She then FOR REAL kills Angelique. Also I’m glad she didn’t ask Angelique what they were planning on doing with the humanization corpse, because that mystery is probably what the entirety of the 3rd book is about.

So we head back in the castle to try to wrap this all up, and boy is it pointlessly messy. I’m going to recount the items in order, so you TOO can realize what a clusterfuck this is.

Alexia tells LeFoux that Angelique is dead which makes LeFoux cry. Alexia has a normal human response to seeing a woman she likes grieving.

“Lady Maccon envied her skill of crying with aplomb. She herself went all over splotchy, but Madame Lefoux seemed to be able to execute the emotional state with minimal fuss.”

By performing some pretty sweet mental gymnastics to make it about herself. CONGRATULATIONS! She does later say that the scene was painfully sad…but…your first thought, and the one you dedicate more than a sentence to is… “I wish I could cry as hot as she could?” MOTHER OF FUCK LADY!

Maccon takes Alexia aside and explains that LeFoux and he are besties despite not interacting with her at all this entire book. He told his BFF4EVAH to keep an eye on Alexia. Don’t know why he would have lied about this? Maybe Alexia would have felt patronized? Alexia was attacked 5 times last book and needed to be saved 3 of those times. There’s nothing wrong with that ratio, but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to have back up if you’re in a dangerous profession. Besides that the two both love science and gadgets, and if he couldn’t predict that LeFoux would awaken his wife’s bisexuality too, it seems silly to lie to her about it.

But my pity for Alexia runs dry again when, upon hearing Maccon and LeFoux are buds…she accuses Maccon of sleeping with LeFoux. And it’s like…

(Honestly, you people, and by that I mean straight people…are ridiculous.)

If Alexia is bi, it don’t matter she’s still in denial and acting like a straight up straighty.

You just found out that lesbians are real and that LeFoux is one of them, and YOU were the one to almost cheat on him with her, and you ACCUSE HIM? Are you FOR REAL!? I mean this is just a set up for Alexia to realize SOME MORE that lesbians are real. I’m glad I’m reading one of those books where everything needs to be explained 5 times.

Alexia brings up the fact that Angelique turned into a ghost but exorcised her right away without considering if literally anybody else wanted to talk to her INCLUDING THE LONG-TERM –EX-GIRLFRIEND WHO WAS RAISING HER KID. LeFoux is rightly upset at this and Alexia retorts with

“There’s no need to wallow.”

Now even Lord Maccon steps in like, “THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, SHE’S RIGHTLY UPSET!” To which Aleixa points out OH SO RIGHTLY that LeFoux didn’t want to be girlfriends with Angelique again, so like…it makes no sense why she’d want to have some parting words or care about her living or dying.

THEN THIS TRANSITION SHEESH VERBATIM:

Lord Maccon looked at his wife appreciatively. “Good Lord, woman, how could you have possibly known that?”

“Well” – Lady Maccon grinned – “Madame Lefoux here did play a bit of the coquette with me while we were traveling. I do not think she was entirely shamming.”

I’m sorry what? We already established that LeFoux is a vagatrian and had a relationship with Angelique. Is she saying the fact she was flirted with PROOF that LeFoux is not in a relationship? Alexia, you were flirting back and you’re married. This is not a brilliant deduction. We only have this transition so that Alexia can brag about almost BUT NOT ACTUALLY cheating on her husband. And like…it’s one thing to take the piss out of him because he’s irrationally jealous. However Alexia herself was like REALLY, REALLY irrationally jealous a second ago and it’s not really irrational since Alexia might have had sex with her if she came to the conclusion earlier that girls can like other girls. SoOOoOOoOOoo great!

We continue to have pissing contests. Maccon is mad that Alexia never told him she was almost poisoned, even though you’d THINK Tunstell would have brought that up to him since he’s his servant and he was the one actually poisoned. LeFoux admits she was looking around for Alexia’s bag and that she wanted the humanization weapon too. However she wants it NOT because she’s in the Hypocras club, but in the Organization of the Brass Octopus (OBO.) The Organization of the Brass Octopus is a secret group of Scientists that is working to curb the power of Supernaturals and that the Hypocras Club was a ~militant branch~ of the OBO. Alexia is bothered that Maccon didn’t tell her about OBO, since YANNO Alexia spent half the book thinking that her crush LeFoux wanted to genocide people like her husband. Which yanno REALLY STOPPED HER FROM A LOT THERE! Alexia tries to ask more questions about OBO and Maccon just answers them all with, “But it’s a secret!”

Really love that Maccon gets super mad when Alexia doesn’t talk to him, but when she asks questions he huffs and won’t tell her. You could maybe argue that since it’s a secret society thing that Maccon shouldn’t tell her. He was sworn to secrecy or some shit. But like also…a branch of this club nearly killed them both… and she’s in charge of the entire English government’s Supernatural balance system….Maybe it’s okay for her to know a little about a powerful organization in that country that’s supposed to do the same thing?

WHATEVER!

We end with LeFoux admitting she was LOOKING FOR Alexia’s bag but never went through it or messed up her room to find it. Alexia for once has a normal reaction which boils down to, “FUCK THIS SHIT!” and storms out. CAUSE WHY BRING UP SHE WAS LOOKING FOR IT AT ALL? That is pointlessly confusing.

So below I made a little chart with how easily it could have been to make this conversation flow better. Even if you want to keep in jealousy pissing contest which is also an EVEN WOMEN WOULD SEX ME STUPID HUSBAND!

I’ll admit I don’t know a lot about editing books…but I feel as if either the editors gave this a soft touch. It seems like a simple fix that could have tightened it up and made it an easier read.

Say something nice Faps:

It was technically a climax

They technically tried to wrap things up

It has been acknowledged that yes LESBIANS ARE REAL

I did genuinely like Alexia having a vulnerable moment looking upon her knocked out husband and feeling protective of him.

#gormless #senseless #riffs #riffing

1 note · View note

missilekidding · 5 years

Note

☄ / 🔮 / 🌐 :)

Gah I had so much fun with these! Again, so sorry I didn’t get around to them sooner, but I hope they were worth waiting for!

☄ - NewsAGoGo

To begin with I need to say that my headcanons for this wonderful lesbian are HEAVILY influenced by @neon-rat‘s NewsAGoGo tag cause that shit is SO GOOD.

- So we got our lesbian scene queen here. She’s had about four thousand different hair cuts and colours and not a single one has ever looked good, but that’s sort of the point. She is CONSTANTLY shaving bits off her head and has most of her scalp tattooed. Frequently seen in a variety of extremely ugly green, yellow or orange trench coats and totally impractical knee length boots, and manages to pull off the ‘I literally wouldn’t recognise good fashion if it punched me in the face’ look brilliantly. This is mostly because of her charisma and confidence in personally loving her own look, and besides, she is a TERRIFYING motherfucker so most runners wouldn’t have the guts to tell her they don’t like her look anyway.

- When I say shes tattooed I mean she is TATTOOED. Most of her body is covered. They aren’t generally big pieces either - a large piece on her upper arm, chest and one thigh, but otherwise covered in tons of smaller pieces, individual from each other and symbolic of vastly different things. Her favourite is probably any of the pieces her girlfriend, DJ Hot Chimp, has given her, and even if Hot Chimp wasn’t genuinely one of the best tattoo artists in the zones she would adore the fact that it’s her girl’s iconic ocean patterns that rest across her rib cage.

- She can be pretty blunt, and it often comes across as rude - she will always speak her mind and totally tends to miss the changes in conversations when people are hurt. She can also get a little heated too when she’s passionate, but also very short when she doesn’t care, so she can be a little intense for many joys to deal with. That’s not, however, to say that she is unkind. If NewsAGoGo is anything, its a good fucking friend. She is fiercely loyal to Doctor Death Defying and her friends at the radio station, and to Hot Chimp, and she easily makes up for anything mean that she may accidentally say in the passion she shows to the people she trusts.

- Before they settled either with or near Doctor D in the radio station, News, Hot Chimp, Cherri and Pony all ran together - it only lasted for about six months once they escaped the City, but it was probably the most fun any of them had. They were some of the earliest killjoys to get out, so the rules of the Zones were much less defined, meaning that setting fire to buildings for the sake of it and driving fast enough to crash every single car they found was fine - the precious nature of these things really weren’t set out or apparent, and the desire for chaos which plagues any runner fresh out of the City went uncontrolled in them.

🔮 - The Phoenix Witch

AH! My absolutely favourite character in the universe! Resident Goth Deity!

- She isn’t called the Phoenix Witch for no reason. The woman has mad power. Raising the dead and making random shit vanish type power. Mostly she takes this very seriously - a nasty side effect of prophetic visions is that she can see the role she, and others, need to play in the big picture, and so her somewhat controversial choices to raise, or not raise joys from the dead plays on her conscience a lot. It’s not clear where she got her power from other than the fact that it took her years of practise to gain it, and that the more powerful she becomes the less she seems to actually be seen.

- This then means that very few living runners have actually seen her. In the earlier days it was more common - she seemed to actually conform to the idea that having a physical form means that you had to exist somewhere at all times, so seeing her around the zones was rare, but possible. Many of those ‘joys who did see her wandering across the land however were ghosted, and those who do claim to have seen her in the later years tend to say that she can just appear at will, and so this lack of knowledge and sightings of her, paired with the frequent stories of the impossible things she can just do really gained her her status as big fucking mythical cryptid across the zones.

- Know I included this in my last Phoenix Witch headcanon post but it’s a headcanon I am willing to Die for - She is Doctor Death Defying’s twin. They were raised together and although they don’t see each other very often cause like. crazy zone happenings. they are still incredibly close and look out for each other. They also fuck around and indirectly make each other’s lives extremely difficult on purpose to piss the other one off because even if your sister is essentially a deity you can still make sure that she wakes up to her least favourite song playing on the radio once every week, and even if your brother is the most revered killjoy in the zones you can give him weird fucking intense dreams that fully convince him that yes, he is in fact a large marsupial, at two in the morning.

- Her ability to shape shift was something that kind of just happened. very suddenly. She was kind of just sitting there one day, thinking about how inconvenient it was to be a human person with like arms and legs and a torso, when suddenly she just wasn’t anymore. It was pretty surprising to say the least, to no longer have to exist in corporeal form, but both personally and practically it was pretty awesome, and after some practise she worked out how to change into a raven, which while also looking totally rad allowed her to go and sit outside Doctor D’s radio station at ungodly hours of the morning and shriek really loud before making a quick get away.

🌐 - One of my OCs

Okay lets talk Grenade. My fucking weird dumbass bitch oc. Love her.

- She has never lived in the Battery - she’s originally from around London, but when shit Went Down in the UK her family moved as far as they could - into the area that later became the zones. Her mother moved into the City in the early days but Grenade’s apprehension to follow proved pretty fucking lucky after Better Living started dropping bombs on the zones and their true nature was revealed. During this time she spent a while running with this group of aggressive dudes and trying to convince herself that she was totally straight™, but she quickly realised that this group were actually pretty awful morally, and left, later realising that girls exist and reassessing her entire world view.

- She is pretty covered in tattoos (notice the running theme in my headcanons for most female killjoys, I’m gay sue me), with her favourite being either the snake around her forearm or the large floral pieces over her hips and thighs. Her time being a general nuisance to Dracs has proved a little detrimental to the larger pieces on her body - a particularly violent run in left most of her chest piece totally unrecognisable, but the scarring itself still has meaning to her so it doesn’t bother her too much.

- She is often seen running around under the full moon, titties out, praising the Goddess. Just cause you live in the desert doesn’t mean you can’t still do your crazy witch shit and Grenade is definitely extremely spiritual. Due to this she also makes charms for runners she meets - getting her hands on actual supplies for spell bags is hard, but she makes do with what she can find and invests a lot of time into sigil magic to make up for it.

- Her and Lithium (@neon-rat’s OC) were the first members of their group, and met shortly after Better Living stopped dropping pig bombs when the two of them ended up trying to kill the same annoying SCARECROW agent together. They got on amazingly mostly because they are both fucking batshit crazy, so the idea of spending three weeks hiding in the City and just repetitively stealing all the fruit from the previously mentioned SCARECROW agent’s house before setting it on fire was one that made perfect sense to them both. They were originally gonna call their group Dykes! but realised that DOGS, or ‘Damn, Occult Girls are Sexy’ is funnier, and sounds like it should stand for something way cooler than it does.

#skkjdkjfd #the rest of these asks should be out by the end of the day #once again: i am a dumb bitch and should not casually queue ask posts months in advance and assume i'll have time for them #headcanons #mcr #killjoys #danger days #my chemical romance #my writing #phoenix witch #newsagogo #grenade #asks #long post #d slur /

12 notes · View notes

butcanijustnot · 5 years

Text

Another Get to Know Me Tag

I’m procrastinating like a motherfucker right now because I’ve got ToTL and other fanfics to work on and three essays I’ve gotta write for school and my brain is just going ‘No! None of that! Something else!’ so I’m doing a tag challenge to get my head back in the game.

I wasn’t tagged by anyone, I just felt like doing it. I’ll tag @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 because I thought you might like this but no pressure because it's a long one and IDK if you’d want to answer it all.

1. What is your full name?

I don’t give my name out online, but my online name is Crystal. If I had to pick a last name for my online persona, I’d probably pick Kyle or Celestial. Both of them are equally stupid and ridiculous, but they're last names of some of my favorite OC’s throughout the years and I’d love to have either one.

2. What is your nickname?

Cry. My partner says its morbid but I think its cute. I also like Criss but for the love of god, please don't call me Crissy (or Crissie or however the hell you want to spell it) because it makes me feel like a five-year-old or a pet dog.

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius.

4. What is your favorite book series?

A Series Of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket. I could name every reason why I liked it in painful detail but I’m just going to go with ‘Lemony Snicket wrote them really well’

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

I believe in aliens and I don’t NOT believe in ghosts. I’m not one of those people who think that aliens walk amongst us or even that aliens have ever visited earth but there are too many planets and possible combination of planetary environments for us to believe we are alone in the universe.

6. Who is your favorite author?

Either Tiu T or Lemony Snicket.

7. What is your favorite radio station?

Don't have one. I don’t listen to a lot of radio because it requires A) a radio or B) a car. I have neither.

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything?

Strawberry. I freakin LOVE strawberry.

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

Valid. Beautiful. Awe-inspiring. Pure. Rad. I have a lot of positive words.

10. What is your current favorite song?

The soundtrack to Spiderman: Into The Spiderverse. I thought I was over it by now. I was wrong.

11. What is your favorite word?

Omnipotence.

12. What was the last song you listened to?

Castle On the Hill by Ed Sheran.

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Digestible funny humor, excellent representation of characters throughout the cast. Kickass bisexual lady is the best character, don’t @ me.

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

The Lego Batman Movie or Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse. They’re good films that never fails to make me happy.

“Don’t tell me how to parent my kid I just met!”

‘Play dumb.’ “Who’s Moralis?” ‘Not that dumb!’

15. Do you play video games?

Assassins Creed Origins. It’s beautiful, The main characters great and the story is wonderful. I always come back to it whenever I leave. I must have completed it three times over by now.

16. What is your biggest fear?

Confrontation. Deep water. Spiders. Heights. Meeting new people. Making phone calls. I have many fears.

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion?

I’m a very good listener and loyal to a fault. I’m quiet and I love doing housework (dishes and vacuuming and all that good shit) so I’m a great roommate.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion?

I’m terrified of conflict and never want to argue with people. I’m a chronic pushover. I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve told my partner “I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”

19. Do you like cats or dogs better?

Dogs. I love both animals, but dogs like me better so I like them better.

20. What is your favorite season?

Autumn. Autumn in Australia is absolutely beautiful and the mildest of all the Australian seasons.

21. Are you in a relationship?

Yep. I gots myself a lil lady! I’m in a potentially polygamous, currently monogamous, asexual-bisexual lesbian relationship. Come June, we will have been together for three years!!! Yay us!!!

22. What is something you miss from your childhood?

Nothing. My childhood was entirely forgettable.

23. Who is your best friend?

My Partner, if that counts. She’s amazing and I love and trust her with my life.

24. What is your eye color?

Hazel, leaning on the brown side.

25. What is your hair color?

The top part is brunette, my natural hair colour, and the bottom half is a reddy-orange-almost-blond colour. I’ll probs redye it to be a better shade of red. I want a more Natasha Romanoff sort of colour.

26. Who is someone you love?

Other than my family and partner, not really anyone. Telling someone that I love them is incredibly personal for me so I don’t do it very often. @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 comes pretty fucking close though.

27. Who is someone you trust?

Either @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 or my one friend who reads my fanfics for me. they are both pretty cool people who I feel comfortable enough to share my writing with, which is a big deal for me.

28. Who is someone you think about often?

My glorious partner.

29. Are you currently excited about/for something?

Avengers: Endgame. I mean, I’m terrified but I’m excited.

30. What is your biggest obsession?

Marvel. Marvel comic. Marvel movies. Don’t care, just make it Marvel.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child?

Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. It was good honest fun and got me into Marvel at a really young age. My favourite characters were Black Panther and vision, and to this day I’m not sure why.

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

My fanfic reading friend I mentioned earlier.

33. Are you superstitious?

Yeah, kinda. I don’t go out of my way but I also don’t walk under ladders on principle.

34. Do you have any unusual phobias?

I have a lot of fears and phobias but the most unusual one is dipsophobia. I have a fear of being drunk and not in control of my own actions. I don’t really have a fear of drinking itself but the being drunk is absolutely heartstopping terrifying for me.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

I like being behind the camera, writing the scripts for videos and movies that the media and drama students at my school make. Its fun watching your stories come to life around you.

36. What is your favorite hobby?

Writing stories.

37. What was the last book you read?

Othello but William Shakespeare. It was earlier today for school.

38. What was the last movie you watched?

Doctor Strange.

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any?

None. I used to play the violin, guitar, and piano but I stopped.

40. What is your favorite animal?

The snow leopard.

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

Only got one that I can think of off the top of my head and its @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

42. What superpower do you wish you had?

The ability to change into any animal at will.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace?

Not sure. I’m kinda always an anxious fuck.

44. What makes you smile?

Seeing a message from a friend for no reason. It warms my heart.

45. What sports do you play, if any?

I’m a kickboxer.

46. What is your favorite drink?

ICED TEA IS THE GOOOOOOD SHIT

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

For my partners last birthday I wrote her a book with each page having a thing I loved about her on it. That was about a month ago.

48. Are you afraid of heights?

Yes but not of flying in planes. It’s strange!

49. What is your biggest pet peeve?

People explaining things to me like I’m an idiot or treating me like a five-year-old. This especially happens when I tell people about my cognitive issues and they start assuming I need assistance with every stupid thing. No, If I need support, I will ASK for it. Your not my knight in shining armor, you’re just an annoying prick.

50. Have you ever been to a concert?

I wish but no. I’ve been to a couple of musicals though.

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian?

Nope.

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to make drone and tech but I fucking suck at making stuff so I went the way of English instead.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in?

The MCU. I died in the snap according to that one website but I still wanna be there.

54. What is something you worry about?

The people that I love being annoyed by me constantly being around them and needing so much emotional support and wanting me to leave them alone.

55. Are you scared of the dark?

Not particularly.

56. Do you like to sing?

I love singing. Shame I fucking suck at it.

57. Have you ever skipped school?

Yes and No. I’ve skipped classes in school, but never a whole day’s worth of school other than for doctor’s or dentists appointments.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet?

Don’t have one. Haven’t been in enough places to truly have a favorite.

59. Where would you like to live?

I’d love to go live in Europe for a while but permanently I’m fine living in Australia. We don’t have much gun violence and the cost of living is pretty low so I’m happy.

60. Do you have any pets?

Yes. I have a dog named Jack, a Border Collie- Australian Cattle Dog cross.

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

Night owl 100%. I work so much better at night.

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

Sunsets.

63. Do you know how to drive?

Nope. Never learned. Never had the money. Never had the time.

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

Headphones. They won’t fall off if you’re running.

65. Have you ever had braces?

No. I need them though. My teeth are awful.

66. What is your favorite genre of music?

Probably movie scores and soundtracks.

67. Who is your hero?

Anyone who fights for someone else's rights is a hero to me.

68. Do you read comic books?

YES.

69. What makes you the most angry?

All sorts of little things. Being demeaned is probably my biggest one. I don’t like being looked down upon.

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

Electronic device. It helps with my attention issues.

71. What is your favorite subject in school?

English Lit. I would say Accounting but technically I’m not in the class. I just chill out in there during my free. It's awesome.

72. Do you have any siblings?

Yes. I have a half-brother that I’ve never met and a step-sister I can’t get rid of.

73. What was the last thing you bought?

A bunch of candy and drinks.

74. How tall are you?

Somewhere between 5′3 and 5′4. Not sure exactly because I haven’t measured myself in a while but it's about that.

75. Can you cook?

Not to save my life.

76. What are three things that you love?

My writing

My family, friends, partner and pets.

Generally chilling out and listening to music.

77. What are three things that you hate?

Being demeaned and told I’m not good enough.

Sexist/racist/homophobic people

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends?

I mostly have male friends as I’ve had bad experiences with female friends in the past. That being said, I have had two female friends in the past couple of years. One worked out and one really, REALLY didn’t. However, my partners’ a woman and I love her to bits.

79. What is your sexual orientation?

I’m about as Bisexual as they come.

80. Where do you currently live?

Australia!

81. Who was the last person you texted?

I have a Snpachat group with my friend and his boyfriend and me and my girlfriend, which is called the “HA, GAAAAAAY” group chat. My last message was on that.

82. When was the last time you cried?

This morning. In the car. While thinking about my future.

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber?

Danny Gonzalas.

84. Do you like to take selfies?

Not really, by myself I hate it, but with my friends, yeah.

85. What is your favorite app?

Social media app is either Snapchat or Tumblr.

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

Varies greatly depending on the day. Some days It’s amazing and other days it's awful.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent?

French and Spanish.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Rome, Italy or Paris, France.

89. What is your favorite number?

8 or 13.

90. Can you juggle?

No. I’m not coordinated enough. My friends can though.

91. Are you religious?

I mean I’m baptized Anglican and I go to a Catholic school but personally, I practice no religion and lean towards Agnosticism.

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

Space. The ocean is terrifying and I hate it.

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

HAHAHAHA LOL NO

94. Are you allergic to anything?

Strawberries (but I eat them anyway), dust, cut grass, and other assorted minor things.

95. Can you curl your tongue?

Si.

96. Can you wiggle your ears?

No.

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

I'm stubborn as hell but when I’m wrong, I’m wrong (*cough* Puffins *cough*) and I’ll admit it. I’ll argue but I’ll admit it.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach?

My aesthetic is the forest but not an Australian forest because there are way too many spiders.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

If you’re not going to remember it in 5 years, It’s not worth stressing about.

100. Are you a good liar?

Sometimes.

101. What is your Hogwarts House?

Ravenclaw.

102. Do you talk to yourself?

Oh, of course, all the time. I’m the only one who understands my crazy ideas and characters.

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

I’m very introverted.

104. Do you keep a journal/diary?

Nope.

105. Do you believe in second chances?

For lesser offenses, sure, but for stuff like Rape, Abuse, Murder, and genocide, No. They made there bed and now they sleep in it.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

I’ve done that before, twice. The first time I opened it and saw that there was a student ID for a local school, so I handed it into my school (It was closer) and they called that school and returned it to the kid. The second time I opened it and saw a teacher ID for MY school and recognized the guy as my old DnT teacher, so I called the school and got him to call me. He arranged to have it picked up and I gave it back. Both times I didn’t think about taking anything from it because it just seemed wrong.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change?

I believe people can make mistakes and change for the better, but I also think they have to prove it. Actions really do speak louder than words. I also think its reasonable that if you’ve wronged someone, they have the right to reject your company/ friendship even if you’ve changed. You broke their trust once and its reasonable for them to question whether to trust you again.

108. Are you ticklish?

Extremely.

109. Have you ever been on a plane?

Yes, quite a lot actually. My father lives in England so I’ve done Australia to England trip about 9 times. That’s a twenty-four-hour trip so its daunting but seeing him is worth it.

110. Do you have any piercings?

No. I had my ears pierced but I forgot to put earrings in after kickboxing one day and they closed over. I haven’t bothered to get them re-pierced since.

111. What fictional character do you wish was real?

Steve Rogers. I want him to fight Donald Trump.

112. Do you have any tattoos?

Nope. Always been scared that it will hurt too much. My step-sisters got a bunch and my mother’s got one and they all tell me conflicting stories about how painful it is. Plus, If I got a tattoo, I’d want it to be something memorable and special to me and as of right now I haven’t found anything that is that special for me.

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

Leaving an abusive relationship.

114. Do you believe in karma?

I do but its more of a loose definition of Karma. I believe that if you do good things, good things will happen to you and vise versa. I know it’s not always true, sometimes awful things happen to good people and sometimes the worst of humanity get high honors and great experiences.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

Yeah. I’m severely short-sighted so I need to wear glasses every day. I’ve thought about wearing contact lenses, but don’t like the idea of voluntarily sticking stuff in my own eyes.

116. Do you want children?

Yes and no. I’m open to the idea of having children but I don’t like the idea of actually giving birth. I’d like to adopt or foster children later in life when I settle down and have stability.

117. Who is the smartest person you know?

There’s this kid who when to high school with me who got a 98.6 ATAR, which was the highest of my grade that year. He was super smart, hacked things for fun and was the kinda kid that wrote assignments the day before and still got A’s. It was ridiculous.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory?

Nothing comes to mind presently. I’ll have to get back to you guys on that one.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

Yes, quite a lot actually. I have two modes. Sleep is for the weak and I could sleep for a week.

120. What color are most of your clothes?

Dark blue or black with some sort of superhero logo on the front. Blue jeans.

121. Do you like adventures?

Not particularly. The comfort zone is aptly named and I see no real reason to do anything stupid or dangerous just for the sake of it. I’ll explore new places but I’m not going bungee jumping or deep-sea diving.

122. Have you ever been on TV?

Yes. I was on a news in a segment covering the steampunk festival, middle of last year. I looked like a wreck because I’d been standing in the Australian sun for hours but it was so much fun doing the interview.

123. How old are you?

18.

124. What is your favorite quote?

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then it’s yours. If it doesn’t, then it never was.

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods?

Sweet foods. Desserts and sweets are a lifeline of mine.

2 notes · View notes

hallucinosims · 5 years

Photo

Hi here’s the get to know me tag let’s get to knowing

I was tagged in this by @gunthermunch

125 questions under the cut, if you do decide to read i suggest getting a snack first

I tag @emovatore @humanitys-shortest @liliithvatore if you haven’t done it yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elio

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Lee and Leo are the go-tos in real life but I get called Hall on here and I think that’s a rad nickname too

3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 5th

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I am a slut for the Percy Jackson series and Leo Valdez was one of the reasons why I started going by Leo more often then my full name

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Yes yes absolutely yes. One, earth really can’t be the only planet in a universe with infinite possibilities to have life on it, you know? And ghosts is more like a spirit thing.

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? oooh fuck me up this is a hard one uhhhhhh Classic author probably Edgar Allen Poe but Contempoary I’d say Tony Kushner

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the Musical Theatre station

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? I don’t really like... food. I don’t enjoy it. But I guess I like savory over sweet

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? neat

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Liar by Queen or Greek God by Conan Gray

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I-Cunt-tic, pronounced like iconic but... you know

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Please Never Fall in love again Ollie MN

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Kidding, that Jim Carrey tv show that premiered this year. Beautifully edited and told story

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody 6 times this month alone so probably that on wards

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yes

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying in the same place i was born

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my empathy

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? the depression (tm)

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? idk, i’m not really an animal person

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? playing in the ika playscape

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i have quite a few best friends but when im at school/work then my good friend Julio

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? a very doe eyed dark brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? i re-dyed my hair black recently so let’s go with that

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my mom

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my dad

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? myself

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? going to denmark to be a farm gay on my semester off

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? currently Sims, Queen, and Falsettos (the musical)

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i didn’t have cable but there is no way in hell i’m saying cyberchase so, Mia and Miguel

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? Julio

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? very

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? none that i can think of

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?i actually really enjoy both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? True West, it’s a really good play

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? ...Bohemian Rhapsody for the 6th time

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? most stringed instruments i can figure out pretty quickly but i’m best at guitar and piano

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? humans

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? i follow over 5k people i don’t even know who i follow

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? basically Kirby. I want the power to take others powers

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in michigan on rainy afternoons in my bunk bed with my laptop on my lap. Or like, the floor of a bookstore

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? loaded question

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I used to do competitve dance, competitve cheer, biking, and volleyball

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? watah

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? like a week ago to my grandma, she likes getting post cards in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? i used to be. not so much anymore

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? people who saunter. We got places to be fellas

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? yup!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? i’m to anemic to be either

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a performer

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i’m actually not to into media that take place in other... wait i take it back i wanna live in Hobbiton

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? breathing

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? ehh sometimes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? It’s a part of my career so hopefully

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? i’m skippin school rn

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? manhattan Lower East Side

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? Manhattan’s Lower East Side. I live in the Upper West Side right now and it’s aight but it’s not the LES

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nope

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i just dont sleep

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? nah

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yee

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? anything

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Tony Kushner

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yee and before you ask my fave is Deadpool

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? when people be on some bullshit

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? IN High School I loved history

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? one sister who is ten years older than I am

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? ... iced coffee despite it being 30 degrees out

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3

75. CAN YOU COOK? I’d like to think so. Wish I had a oven tho

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? music, my family (sometimes) I’m trying to love myself so let’s throow that one in there

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? people who stroll/saunter, when people are on their bullshit, dark chocolate

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? male “friends”. But, I know a lot more girls that I keep up with more often.

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? lesbian

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Manhattan, Upper West Side

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Me mam

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Thursday in my Theatre class but we were all crying so i’ll let it slide

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i don’t really watch anyone consistently

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? i do

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tinder

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? prety solid i love them both even if my mom hates my sexuality and threatened locking me at home when i came out to herelol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? italian

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?Copenhagen! I’ve wanted to go to Denmark since I was ten

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 7

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nah son

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? defenitly a lot less than my story style insists lol. I do believe in God tho

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? LOADED QUESTION BECAUSE I WANNA EXPLORE BOTH

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? ehhhhhhhh no

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? strawberries and some medicine that i can’t remember the name of

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes i’m a lesbian it’s what we do

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nah

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Literally anytime i’m wrong about soomething. I love being exposed, put in my place, roasted.

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Forest so I can find my mans... my MOTH mans

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? you know what you want, don’t let your concerns get in the way of your ambitions

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? Yes

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? Deadass I talk to myself more often than otherpeople

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? introverted

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yee

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give everyone I can think of second chances because i’m a forgiving sone of a bitch and yet they continue TO BE ON SOME BULLSHIT

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? THat be mine i may be forgiving by moral compass be broke as hell and I haven’t eaten in like 3 days because i’m so broke

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? When I’m answering this question for a job application i sure do

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? tragicallu

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? i have 5 holes in my ears and a nostreil piercing

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Mark Cohen or LEO VALDEZ

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes 2, one chest, one forearm. But that’s only because I don’t have money i need more

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to new york

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes and she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? eventually I feel like I would make a pretty solid kid

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my dad

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? Being high for three days straight

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? i just finished pulling one

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black as you can see by my simself i really do dress pretty much only in black because i aged poorly out of my goth phase

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yeeee

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? Yep, Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Trade Show stuff, probably for school or local news a few times

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 18

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? Know in your soul like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain, know that you’re whole. - HEdwig and the Angry Inch

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? This is a really boring last question but savory but if you made it this far i’ll expose myself a little more. I’m black and Jewish, I go to a performing arts Conservatory, and this took me so long to answer because I hooked up with someone in Brooklyn last night and i had trouble getting back to my dorm.

#get to know me tag #hall posts #saviorhide #long posts

8 notes · View notes

skele8rity · 6 years

Text

Fandom Meme!

(again)

tagged this time by @crytalstellar! thank youuu 🤗🤗🤗 gotta find three fandoms that werent the ones from last time lolol uhhh... ok!

Rules: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you wanna know better

Three Fandoms:

Corpse Party!

The Arcana!

Homestuck! (WHAT A WILD LINEUP LMAO)

The first character you loved:

It’s hard to remember, but I think the first person I really latched onto was Sakutaro Morishige!

Julian, hands down 👀

Before Act 5, probably John, honestly! But the instant Eridan showed up, listen. It was over. Eridan won

The character you never expected to love so much

Ohhh... Yoshiki, for sure! What a good boy. I expected so much less from him ;w;

Nadi’s sisters orz... I thought all of them would be posh pricks LOL

Porrim tbh, I love her to bits and I’m not sure why or when it happened but hoo.

The character you relate to the most

The reason I played Corpse Party at all was because my friend who I had no idea was in love with me told me she was in love with me via fronting the game with “Don’t Naomi and Seiko kind of remind you of us? 👀” with me being the poor and clueless Naomi to a T, so I mean,,

(Mild book VIII spoilers for Julian’s story!) The dude in the theater scene in Julian’s route that played Lucio in that play and Julian in that moment simultaneously. “What are you going to do, smother me with your thighs?” “Oh, for the millionth time- No.”

There are so many characters in Homestuck, please... lmao... Aradia??? If I were more kickass???? I’m not sure. Pick someone who seems ace.

The character you’d slap

kizami yuuya im coming to kick your ass

If you get this question and fail to think “Lucio,” I’m not sure you’re answering it right jdhjsd. Though the major arcana for the Magician is also a little shit and might deserve a pinch or two. smh

SLAP PARTY!!! 1-800-ARE-YOU-SLAPPING. I’LL SLAP HALF THE CAST. WATCH ME LMAOOO...

Three favorite characters (in order of preference):

ohhh... Morishige’s definitely first but the rest change constantly. Mayu? Kishinuma?? Satoshi??? I like a lot of these characters!!

THIS ALSO CHANGES A LOT BUT I REALLY LIKE PORTIA, ASRA, AND JULIAN...

Eridan, Aradia, Porrim!

A character you didn’t like at first but do now:

Re: Yoshiki... I was so sure he’d be a deadbeat but he surprised me! Naomi also really annoyed me at first because of the way she treated Seiko when she got stressed but what can u do lol shrug emote

I wasn’t sure I’d like Nadiya at first, but she’s really spectacular and funny! ^^ She wore the whole “decadent, elegant leader” image so well I was like.... hyped when her comfort unveiled how fun-loving and spontaneous she is.

I like... Every character from Homestuck, please. I’ve always liked all of them ;; But maybe Bec Noir. He was pretty rad, despite the whole murder business lololol

Three OTPs:

Morishige and Mayu forever thanks. Naomi and Seiko! And if I could remember the characters from the other schools I’d probably have a less boring and predictable answer here kjdfsj but both Naomi and Satoshi make a cute pair as well as Ayumi and Yoshiki

Portia and me, Portia and me, and also.... me and Portia 👀 skjfh JOKING ASIDE, I DON’T KNOW... I DON’T DO A TON OF SHIPPING. Remember the cute leech farmer lesbians??? I ship the HELL out of them Dream life, tbh

EriKar in ANY quadrant, I’ll eat that UP, black or red quad EriVris, and Roxy Lalonde with any and every form of wholesome, healthy happiness.

That’s that! As for tagging, uhhh it’s kind of a long tag and i don’t remember getting a ton back when i tagged a small handful of people for this, so ill slate this one as a “if you see it, and you want to do it, take it and tag me back so i can see!” post.

THANKS 4 COMIN 2 MY TED TALK THIS ONE WAS A LOT BETTER ORGANIZED THAN LAST TIME SO YOU CAN COHERENTLY READ IT AND MAKE SENSE OF IT LMAOOO have a wonderful day/night wherever you are!!! ^^

#tagged #kitkat chitchat #long post #i express some OPINIONS #very nice

3 notes · View notes

paulmccartneyofficial · 7 years

Text

ok so heres my tagged p usually

so! i was born into a pretty privileged situation initially

my mother is white as can be with her mother’s family coming from montreal. my fathers parents are from spain and also their family is from parts of portugal. my grandparents didn’t really have steady jobs when they moved here so my dad could only go to the navy (he is also 73 jsyk), but money has always been tight for his family. he lived in spain for years with his first wife and my distant half sister was born there and stuff and he has basically been at a poverty level like. all his life haha

but mum! could afford more and whatnot so i consider my early childhood to be moderately privileged when it came to both economic and social class

however my mother went through a deep depressive state and became an alcoholic when she finally began discovering her sexuality. she was in a marriage with kids but she was in love with her best friend who was also in love with her. however, when my mom wouldn’t leave my father for the sake of her children, her best friend stopped talking to her and moved onto someone else. she broke her heart and thats when my mom realized “ello i am v much a lesbian”

but that took a toll on her. she wanted to be happy, but she sacrificed it for us to have a mom and a dad (dumb). but anyway, she had lots of mental illnesses and she dealt with addiction

the person who helped her escape from this life was someone from our church, a woman, who became the closest person to my mother. after my mother sobered up, she and her friend went to stage an intervention with her friend’s ex husband in florida, and it was on this trip that they fell in love.

i was 9 and kind of had a clue, but not really.

the day my mother came out to my brother and i was the day that she told me that she was divorcing my dad. she was scared of me being upset over it and tried to let me down slowly.

funny story is, 9 yr old me was literally like, “good. u two fight too much.”

my step mom’s kids, whom i knew from church growing up, became my siblings. my older brother steven, who is basically my best friend, moved in with me, and we became two peas in a pod (as we sort of already were in church), despite him being the middle child of 5 and me being the baby. steven and i are easily the closest out of all of our siblings--it upsets our other brother greatly.

the transition for me was a bit easy, as well. my new mother, before she became my parent, used to babysit me often and pick me up from school a lot, and i would sleep over and help her take care of the new grand baby a lot. i was very close to her already, so i was very excited for her to move in!!

but at this time in my life was when the word “gay” was used to insult people. i heard it viciously used in school on the playground or the bus rides. i knew my parents were gay and that, for me at the time, was hard for me to deal with. i was terrified of my classmates finding out the truth and picking on me for it.

mind you, i was in elementary school. i was in fourth grade. it was vulgar.

i used to lie about my mothers whenever people would ask me who my new mother was, telling them it was just a friend and that they were splitting the bills.

lies lies lies. but when you’re 10 years old, and everyone makes fun of gay people, it becomes terrifying. absolutely terrifying.

on top of all this, my grandmother stopped speaking with us. she wanted nothing to do with my mothers. my aunts were also partial to the idea. and some of my cousins.

this killed me as a little kid.

eventually, as high school came along, and i forgot what it was like to even have both a mom and a dad, i became comfortable with it. i defended my parents with all my might and all my love. i argued with extended family. i challenged people who reacted poorly when they found out about my parents.

because i love my parents. my parents love each other and they love me. and honestly, i wouldn’t rather have it any other way.

now steven, my best friend, mentor, big brother, person i tell everything to, met the girl of his dreams. her name is jenna and she is lebanese and she is muslim.

jenna and i knew each other for a total of 20 minutes before we were already talking to each other non-stop. the bond was incredible. she became the person who even taught me how to drive. she took me everywhere, introduced me to new things. she has brought me alone to visit her family in new york. over the past years, i’ve bonded with her and her sisters so much that we routinely make sister plans with each other (which makes my brother jealous because hes NEVER invited lmao loser). jenna even wanted me to be the only one of my brother’s siblings in their wedding party, as she and i are like. inseparable, but my brother said absolutely not to that because. i mean. we’d be leaving the others out.

jenna’s family takes me in a lot and does wonderful things for me and always ask for me to come over. they have become my second family and i love each and every one of them so very much. they even wish to take my brother and me to lebanon one day which is rad af im. ok anyway

the best part about my relationship is the level of comfort they have with me. they’ve opened up and shown their culture to me, told me their family history--which i will not share on here, as it is extremely personal--and built a level of bond and pure acceptance between us.

when my other family is around, they don’t discuss these things very much. maybe once and a while, they’ll make turkish coffee and do the old tea leaf reading trick, but that’s really just it.

out of the love for these people that has grown within me over the past years, i have done my best to stay educated and aware of issues that impact them--as they find themselves living in fear once again. i have become protective of them, especially when other family/friends make remarks regarding religious differences. it sucks to hear all the gross things people say about them and i just...

if only they knew the shit they go through. haha

anyway. homophobia and islamophobia have, over the past years, become very touchy subjects for me. seeing people spread hate against the people that i love has really fucked me up a lot over the years and i’m at a point where i can no longer stand for it.

and so like. i get a little heated when people do that thing where they’re stupid because like. u get the gist

thus, my tagged p ,, , , , , ,, , , , ,fd,,d

#p #if ur gonna read this then leave ur judgement at the door #bc #i never #really #tell people what my p is #but if u dont wanna leave ur judgement at the door then pls...go away haha #islamophobia;#homophobia;#alcoholism;#i'll probably delete this

10 notes · View notes

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

Text

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it. Her husband is in charge of the Supernatrual Police (BUR) so he’s going to Scotland about it.

Alexia is also going north to help her husband with a crew crafted for a comedy. and oh boy I can’ts wait.

Chapter 7 – Stalking? No, slut dads who slutted each other.

Tunstell has been poisoned! So Alexia and LeFoux tell him to puke. Ivy gets really offended that they asked him to puke. Like it was actually kinda shocking how nasty Ivy gets about this. Ivy insults Alexia, and laughs condescendingly while saying it’s just regular old food poisoning. Like that’s pretty fucking cold Ivy damn.

I know this is supposed to be a comedy of ~manners~ this hubbub is because it’s gross and ~untoward.~ But a secret part of me wants to believe that Ivy is pissed at Tunstell for giving her feels and wants him to suffer.

Also I love how Alexia and LeFoux just TELL him to puke, and when Tunstell is like…what? How? They’re like you’re an actor just puke wtf do we have to explain everything to you?????? But eventually they concede, he takes some ipecac, barfs, and doesn’t die. Ivy was fluttering around him all a tizzy over this incident. A part of me is like, why didn’t they just leave Ivy and Tunstell alone here to sort out some shit? But I mean, Ivy seems salty enough to allow him to be in horrible pain. If they weren’t careful she was going to pull a fake eggplant off of her ugly hat and suffocate him with it.

LeFoux gets fed up with all of Ivy’s tittering so she gives her a bit of Cognac. She takes what are described as two nips. So I was picturing itty-bitty sips, and Ivy immediately becomes blitz out of her fucking mind. I’m not exaggerating, 2 sentences after the nips, she’s staggering in zig-zags. She bumps into doors, spills drinks, and giggles like a mad woman. I haven’t had cognac before but like….REALLY? To me, they might as well have written, “Ivy was within 15 feet of an alcoholic beverage, so she’s sloshed. She starts laugh-crying while singing Danny Boy incoherently and trying to give Tunstell a handy under the table…but it wasn’t Tunstell it was just an empty chair. Which was actually lucky for Tunstell cause at this point she couldn’t do more than just play bloody knuckles with his nut-sack anyway.”

But anyway Ivy and Tunstell retire to their rooms and Alexia and LeFoux go to have a chat on the deck. Alexia is like, “Why would anybody want to poison Tunstell it makes no sense!” To which LeFoux, with more patience than I could ever muster, points out Tunstell ate HER meal. Alexia has a moment before she’s like, “Oh yeah, people are always trying to kill me.” LeFoux is a bit flummoxed that Alexia seems pretty chill and incurious about almost being murdered. Alexia continues this track of being an intellectual giant by asking LeFoux if she’s a spy or assassin out to get her.

She, of course denies it, by saying she could have easily killed her earlier cause gosh what a badass she is. But like what the hell Alexia!? All you did was alert LeFoux to your distrust of her. What were you hoping is going to happen by asking that question? Denying it is hardly going to prove one way or the other, were you hoping you’d get,

“Yes! KER-STAB! U DEAD!”

Yet it’s almost as if her wish came true because a mysterious figure shoves Alexia off the deck, to meet her doom splattered on the English Countryside.

NO this isn’t where the chapter ends. Here we are 4 pages in and we have a much better cliff-hanger than TUNSTELL DUN BE POISONED!

Unluckily for us Alexia’s descent is cut short because a random protuberance on the dirigible catches her dress and she hangs on for dear life while LeFoux fights for hers against the mysterious shoving assassin.

But just as you were getting caught up in the action, a port-hole opens near Alexia to reveal the still hammered Ivy. We have a very appropriate bit of comic relief where Ivy slurs out how extra it is of Alexia to be climbing around on the outside of the dirigible. Which, to be fair, I wouldn’t put it past her. But eventually LeFoux scares off the attacker and they rescue her. The attacker was wearing a mask so we CAN’T SAY who it could possibly be. I bet it’s Angelique.

However LeFoux goes back to Alexia’s room with her, and Alexia sees she got a scratch on her neck from the fight. So she takes off LeFoux’s cravat and cleans it up. It’s very intimate.

Gotta be honest, I am so here for the lesbian flirting. I think fewer people should be flirting with Alexia, but I hardly care at this point. I’m happy that this book isn’t afraid to throw a masc-presenting lesbian love interest. I mean, this is perhaps quite a low bar since modern romance novels don’t tend to be homophobic, but I appreciate a stronger inclusion regardless.

But as she’s doing so she spies a tattoo on her neck of that OCTOPUS SYMBOL! YANNO THE HYPOCRAS CLUB THAT TRIED TO KILL HER, HER HUSBAND, AND THE TOKEN GAY MAN LAST BOOK! OH NO! But Alexia pretends she didn’t see it. She asks LeFoux why she’s following her around. LeFoux is all like, “Oh GOSH I WISH I COULD TELL YOU BUT I CANNOT! I AM MYSTERIOUS!” I really hate this cop-out, and I particularly hate this one cause I can already taste it now…the reason she can’t tell Alexia is for a really dumb reason that would cause 0 damage if she told her right now. (Also going back and editing this after I finished the book, I was right. SHOCK!) It’s also kinda infuriating cause Alexia (rightly so for once) is like, “Just tell me!” To which LeFoux rolls her eyes and is like, “Oh you soulless are always so annoyingly logical.”

HEY LISTEN GIRL, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL HER ALL THE TIME, IT’S NOT FUCKING ~DISPASSIONATE~ OF HER TO BE DISTRUSTFUL FOR CHRISTS SAKES! UGH!

In order to appease Alexia’s outrageous line of questioning, LeFoux barfs out some totally unrelated backstory. She was an illegitimate child from a slutty dude who died soon after she was born. She was raised by her aunt. As a child she met a man who used to be gay lovers with her dad. TURNS OUT THAT RANDOM MAN IS ALEXIA’S FATHER! WOW! What does that have to do with her following Alexia around like a dog trying to hump her leg?

BEATS THE HELL OUT OF ME!

But Alexia is swayed with that and they part ways.

Say something nice Faps:

It’s getting even gayer up in here. Seriously Alexia, if you were seriously considering getting deep-dicked by Douche-canoe, douche canoe, of the dickwad douche canoes you better be considering this.

In particular I like the idea that Alexia’s father was openly bisexual. In part because she describes him as basically down for any person who wanted to fuck him. I am the kind of slutty stereotypical bisexual that relates to that. Also the more gay characters the better my friend.

I mean, I’m not super happy with the direction they continuously drag Ivy’s character but it’s at least it’s more of a personality. And I’ll take the comic relief, even if it isn’t good.

#changless #gormless #riffs #soulless #riffing

2 notes · View notes

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

Text

Gormless Ch. 5 - Try to kill my boss? Haha you kids are alright!

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

Last time on Gormless:

There’s a hot werewolf guy into Alexia called Channing and he’s a big jerk. Ivy is getting married to some rich slub, even though she’s in wub with Maccon’s servant Tunstell. Alexia just met a hot lesbian named LeFoux and wants to take her to visit her smart Vampire gay bestie Akeldama.

Chapter 5 – Try to kill my boss? Haha you kids are alright!

This chapter opens up with her seeing Lord Akeldama. Basically they start by inviting Madame LeFoux and just catching up. Turns out Akeldama has not seen the humanization phenomenon before even though he hella old, but his scouts discovered a military ship called the Spanker had people from the Kingair clan aboard who were humanized. We got similar info before, but there’s an implication that the humanization is traveling directly with the people of the Spanker. There’s the implication that it’s moving north, and it has to do with the dead alpha thing.

Something also of slight interest is that Akeldama tried to ~recruit~ Channing back when Channing was human. That Channing, so they say, used to be a charming sculptor and vampires and werewolves were fighting over him. That he went into the military/werewolfism cause it was more ~romantic.~ I think that’s all there just to put Channing back on the table as a love rival.

HE’S BAD RIGHT? BUT LIKE MAYBE NOT ALL BAD?

On one hand they’re fleshing him out. On another hand it reeks of Marty-Stuing and it is not convincing me he deserves another chance.

Well what would make him desirable to you Faps? Put him in an oversized sweater, with glasses, and he’s petting a cat?

Okay okay! My kink is valid and so is the kink for a man-child meathead okay. I just wish my kink was more main-stream gosh.

So Madam LeFoux shows up and there is a brief bit of sassing between Akledama and her before Akeldama has to show off his aethographor. They spend a lot of fucking time on this. I guess this is for the folks into the steampunk aspect but like…I don’t really understand this appeal. It basically boil down to it’s a telegraph machine but it prints letters onto metal with caustic chemicals. It has to be manned at all times, and some old ones need specific ~ Crystalline valve frequensors~ to communicate to one another but Akeldama’s LATEST EDITION doesn’t need it. I am a history nerd and reading about old machines is fascinating because you get to see how the machines have impacted the culture. I also like reading about Sci-Fi technology because either it’s cool to see what people decades ago thought was going to happen, or speculative future possibilities. In theory speculative fiction about an alternate universe’s history could be cool but this machine is just not that far removed from a telegraph machine and sounds like it’s a pain in the ass. But perhaps I’m just so spoiled by the fact that I could get a snapchat of a strange person’s butthole from Australia instantaneously without having to operate a machine the size of a room 24/7. You have not truly enjoyed a stranger from down under’s…down under until you’ve seen it with the leopard ear snapchat filter!

Anyway he gives Alexia a ~ Crystalline valve frequensor~ with his frequency just in case. She puts it in a pocket on her umbrella and it’s like DAMN GIRL WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THE FACT THE THING HAS POCKETS? THAT’S WAY COOLER! (Even if impractical for regular umbrellas.)

The three of them part ways, Alexia is planning on taking a dirigible to Scotland in order to face this humanization and save her dumb-fuck husband.

Here we switch point of views to look through Lyall’s eyes. He’s tailing Alexia for reasons and some vampires are sneaking around Lord Akeldama’s place while she was visiting. The vamps almost attack Alexia but Lyall stops them with some pow pow action. The vampires say they were just going to ~test~ Alexia and Lyall is just like haha that’s fine, go home you kids! Also Alexia did not notice any of this.

I mean I’m kinda glad we had a bit o’ action but this was dumb. Lyall just lets these two jackoffs go after they tried to maybe kill/kidnap/whatever his master’s wife. Also he doesn’t tell Alexia she was nearly attacked? Cause drama later on I guess? Fuck this writing! I take back the nice things I said about Lyall! Lyall instead just argues that Alexia shouldn’t go to Scotland. Sure Maccon relies heavily on his superpowers for everything, but not letting him know his powers are going to be suddenly taken away by a mysterious force which maybe out of his blood will definitely be fine. I guess because it’s now Lyall’s policy to make sure everybody around him, whom he attempts to protect with his life, is unaware of the danger around them. Cool, cool.

At least this time when Alexia badgers somebody about something she’s going to do, she’s right that it makes no sense why she shouldn’t. However she unwittingly has to take along a merry batch of fuckers. You’ll hear about them in a bit.

We have a big old scene where Alexia’s mother shows up and is like, “YOUR ONE SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED THE OTHER SISTER IS SO WRACKED WITH JEALOUSY SHE’S MAKING EVERYONE MISERABLE! YOU TAKE HER!”

Oh and there’s this inconsistent writing here where Alexia’s mother is passive aggressively racist toward werewolves and Scots. Yet at the same time there are lines about how pleased Alexia’s mother is that she married a Scottish werewolf. There’s the direct line, “It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.” I think what the author is trying to say is that Alexia’s mom was happy that Alexia married a rich and powerful man, and LOOKS PAST the fact that he’s a werewolf but still kinda hates werewolves. However they don’t bring up that her mom is impressed with all her money and power. They just keep saying WEREWOLF THIS and WEREWOLF THAT! They made it unnecessarily muddled here and it’s confusing, annoying, and could have been easily fixed.

In Alexia mother’s defense the only thing I’ve seen Alexia do that’s pleased me, is hit that douche werewolf over the head a bunch.

So of course, Alexia’s mother won’t take no for an answer when it comes to her sister. Therefore Alexia is saddled with generic shallow, petty, bitch blonde sister #2. Felicity, the blonde in question, agreed to this, despite hating her sister cause she knew her sister would be surrounded by hunky werewolves. SHE GOTTA GET A HUSBAND NOW TOO! IT’S ALL US LADY FOLKS CARE ABOUT! Due to English custom you can’t just leave your sister in your castle to have wild gangbangs with werewolves all day and night. But I mean, considering the amount of misogyny the 3rd in command is packing? Not leaving her alone there is probably a good idea. (Also I will puke blood if Felicity and Channing become an item.)

Ivy shows up at this time as well cause I mean…Ivy has always been sexually drawn to inconvenient timing. Don’t kink-shame her! When Ivy hears that Tunstell will be going on the Dirigible, she pouts until Alexia just let’s her go along too, cause HAHA WHY NOT AT THIS POINT!?

(A gif of Hillary Clinton laughing and throwing her hands up.)

So she’s taking Angelique (to dress her), Felicity (to be obnoxious in the bitchy way), Ivy (to be obnoxious in the ditsy way), and Tunstell (cause this 90lb actor will protect them all.)

OH BOY WE GOT A SMORGSEBORG OF IMPENDING WACKINESS TO CONTEND WITH! IS THAT EXCITEMENT I HEAR OR THE CRACKING OF MY OWN GRINDING TEETH!?

Say something nice Faps:

Dang I’m having a hard time saying nice things here that aren’t simply just, “Well at least X didn’t happen!”

She uhhh tried to steampunk?

I get a masochistic tickle when Alexia’s family is around. I dislike Alexia so I like seeing her insulted, but the cartoonish villainy of her family is hilarious to me. It’s just so spot-on, the archetypal “BASIC SHALLOW BLONDE BITCH-SLUT TO MAKE PROTAG LOOK BETTER THAN ALL OTHER GIRLS!” However I have yet to see an author fail so spectacularly at differentiating the evil girls from the protag. “I can’t believe all my family cares about is how they look, their social standing, and men!” Huffs Alexia, as she ponders her own romantic dalliances to the king of the Universe, in her new blue carriage dress, which has SHOOK the London fashion world to its VERY CORE!

#gormless #changless #riffing

1 note · View note

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

Text

Gormless Ch. 4 - Dab on them Pineapples

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

Last time on Gormless:

There’s a dude named Channing who wants to punch and have sex with Alexia, and Ivy is getting married to some rich slub, even though she’s in wub with Maccon’s servant Tunstell.

Alexia’s hubby told her to go to a hat store for mysterious plot reasons, she brings her dopey friend Ivy. The hat store is run by a hot lesbian and as they’re chatting BOOM an explosion! GOLLY WHAT’S NEXT!?

Chapter 4 - Dab on them Pineapples

This chapter starts off totally under described. Basically the explosion shook the hats on their nice dangling hooks, and turned out the lights. They don’t even describe it as unbalancing Alexia. So the whole next bit makes so little sense. She first reacts by feeling around for Ivy. She finds Ivy has fainted…cause okay? Ivy is whispering about Tunstell though so she’s like, “YEAH MY FRIEND UNCONCIOUS ON THE FLOOR AFTER AN EXPLOSION IS FINE! BYE LOSER!”

She immediately starts scurrying around for that secret passage she thought she saw earlier. Finds it, goes in, and down an elevator. I just…I was so flummoxed that this was her first response? All it would take for this to make more sense is to write, “It sounded as if the explosion happened below them, and Alexia would bet you 100 pounds that this secret passage would lead her straight to it. And what if someone was hurt down there?”

It seemed so bizarre for her to go, “EXPLOSION? I’M GOING TO MAKE A BEELINE FOR THE SECRET PASSAGE! MY FRIEND OUT COLD? WHATEVER!”

When she gets down there she finds a messy workshop, where a small explosion clearly took place. She finds LeFoux yelling at a child and there’s a ghost lady just chilling there. The gist of the conversation is that the child threw a rag soaked in ETHER into a huge furnace which caused the explosion. The boy is just like, “lol it went bang.” And Alexia thinks that’s hilarious and reintroduces herself. LeFoux has to remark that WOW ISN’T LADY MACCON SMART FOR FINDING OUT THE SECRET PASSAGEWAY? GOSH I KNOW I CONFIRMED IT TO HER MINUTES AGO! BUT SHE’S SO SMART! The ghost is LeFoux’s aunt Beatrice, and the boy is introduced as LeFoux’s son Quesnel even though the two do not look related.

I also find it odd that LeFoux, the owner of this establishment, with a shop full of customers, just slips into the passage and doesn’t give a token, “DO NOT PANIC CUSTOMERS I’M GOING TO FIGURE OUT THE ISSUE, PLEASE STAY WHERE YOU ARE!”

Alexia praises the child for the explosion. I can’t help but feel a bit exasperated by the book’s tone for this. This child could have not only killed himself on a flight of fancy but perhaps a block worth of buildings full of humans in a crowded city, and the story treats it like he stole a pudding out of the fridge he wasn’t supposed to have. But I mean, my job is to worry for the well-being of children and I have a habit of overthinking this shit so take that paragraph with as much or as little care as you see fit.

LeFoux punishes Quesnel and tells her aunt to take him away so she can have sexual tension with Alexia. Alexia, you do not deserve the sexual attention of anybody except your dipshit husband. Leave the MacDougalls and LeFouxs for the more-deserving slutty, bisexual hate-readers okay.

Faps you realize you will never be able to have sex with a fictional character right?

Faps why would you want to bang a fictional character in a story you don’t even like?

I HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING TO ENJOY HERE OKAY!?

During some mild flirtation where Alexia first realizes women are hot, LeFoux explains that Maccon commissioned a gift that is ready for her.

It’s a huge ugly umbrella that takes a page to describe just its physical appearance, which was hard to follow. My favorite detail is,

“The handle looked like something that might top an ancient Egyptian column, carved with lotus flowers---or a very enthusiastic pineapple.”

I don’t know what the fuck that’s supposed to mean but with that line I have decided that the handle of her umbrella looks like this:

(Picture of a pineapple dabbing, while wearing bright red shoes.)

And you cannot convince me otherwise.

We spend a few more pages explaining what her James Bond styled umbrella can do. Which includes:

Shoots poison darts.

Can switch between a silver and wooden tip depending on if you’re stabbing vampires or werewolves.

Can emit a magnetic field which can disrupt steam engines temporarily.

Can spray different kinds of toxic mists which can kill humans, and severely injure werewolves and vampires.

Okay sure, she gets a proper weapon with a lot of weird uses. Sure good!

So now it’s time for me to complain about some writing choices!

Much to my annoyance, every time LeFoux smiles at all (which is a fucking lot) instead of using multiple verbs and descriptors such as, “She smiles, grins, smirks, beams, looks amused/smug/delighted/etc.” She says LeFoux ~dimples~ 100% of the time. And I’m like nobody verbs dimples that way you fucking weirdo who writes like they’re 12.

There’s also this really clumsy pointless exchange where it’s revealed that LeFoux has made special equipment for Prof. Lyall, and she remarks that he’s a curious man. Alexia says he’s not a man at all (cause he’s a werewolf) and LeFoux remarks, “I, too, am not a man. I simply enjoy dressing like one.”

….This is like super clumsy and not how humans talk at all. And there’s no reason why you need to bring that up AGAIN at all? We can tell she enjoys masculine dress because…she’s described as dressing masculine. Like….why?

Like I know this isn’t meant to be a complex novel, but like I feel condescended to how often unimportant shit needs to be brought up again and again. UGH!

So they head back upstairs, Tunstell shows up so he and Ivy can stare longingly at each other, and OH YEAH tell Alexia Lyall wants to speak with her.

You gotta do more for me to ship Tunstell/Ivy then like show them cozy with one another and shouting in my ear about how they pine for one another. Like maybe some dialog besides, “How are you?” “Oh I’m fine”?

So Alexia goes to see Lyall. She struts in swinging her new umbrella like HEY! HEY! ASK ABOUT MY NEW TOY! Lyall does not. Lyall has his issues don’t get me wrong. But I find it so refreshing that he refuses to feed Maccon and Alexia’s shitty little egos.

Lyall says the humanization phenomenon has been ~spotted~ again and it’s moving toward Scotland, a bit ahead of Maccon, who is also heading that way. Maccon doesn’t know he’ll be meeting the mysterious soul-sucking power soon, which could be a problem since he’s only useful in the sense that he has powers.

Alexia takes note of this, and decides she wants to have Lord Akeldama and LeFoux meet cause that would be cool I guess. That’s where we leave off. I’m not sure if the two are going to get along immediately upon meeting or hate each other’s guts. I hope they hate the other’s guts cause I think that would be more entertaining.

Say something nice Faps:

These chapters don’t always end and start on similar notes. So it doesn’t feel repetitive.

Lyall, while not totally free from this writing’s bullshit, helps ground this material by being a voice of sanity. A lot of authors can get caught up in HOW FUCKING COOL THEIR PERFECT FUN CHARACTERS ARE and it’s just kinda refreshing that this author has enough self-awareness to realize how exhausting and irritating their antics/personalities can sometimes be. Or in the very least enough awareness of writing to know when to slow it done and take a breather.

LeFoux is hot.

Since I have identified her new murder parasol as having a dabbing pineapple handle, all mentions of it conjure hilarious mental images for me. She was described as cradling it like a baby, and swinging it wildly in order for it to fail to catch Lyall’s attention.

I also kinda like how despite getting a badass weapon crafted for her, it’s hideous. Like perhaps it’s for the humor sake, but I appreciate we’re not just going to steamroll how cool and great Alexia is. Even though she got this super rad weapon with all these functions without having to earn it. The item does have the downside of being tacky and heavy. You know?

#gormless #changeless #riffing

1 note · View note

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

Text

Gormless Ch. 12 – Nothing quite pumps the breaks like lesbian sexual assault

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it. They are at her husband’s old pack castle about it. Are they hiding something????? There’s an active shooter in the castle no one cares about and LeFoux is unconscious because of it.

If the title didn’t give it away TW: sexual assault.

Chapter 12 – Nothing quite pumps the breaks like lesbian sexual assault

Okay so we start with a lot of needless explanation of who’s there for the mummy unwrapping party. Alexia’s real sad LeFoux can’t be there, cause she’s been shot and is just I PRESUME bleeding out in a high-back velvet chair right now.

Alexia describes the ceremony as being unnerving to her. The mummy’s wrappings have the broken Ankh symbol so the body is obviously the source of the humanization thing. Can we just get to that point?

We take a random detour for Alexia to explain that, despite the church employing Soulless people to fight Supernatural people, the church says that there’s no way for a Soulless to get to heaven. ….Are you fucking kidding me? Are we talking about the same church that used to sell get-out-of-hell free cards? They’re not going to throw some bullshit out there like, “Soulless can’t go to heaven….unlessssssssssss they fill out a Supernatrual murder card! It can be redeemed for a free salvation or small ice cream!” Have religious groups exploited groups they look down upon? Of course! But why didn’t they go the other way? Why are they not TOUCHED BY GOD hence why they can naturally purge the big evil Supernaturals? Cause persecution complex is why! WHY IS THIS EVEN HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS RACISM PARTY? IT’S NOT GOING TO BE RELEVANT IN THIS STORY AT ALL IS IT?

FUCK!

So Ivy and Felicity faint while watching this. Alexia talks more about how unnerved she is by the mummy and when she leaves the room Ivy is awake and she playing some downright epic tonsil hockey with Tunstell in front of everybody. This comes totally out of left field by the way, there’s no explanation for it like lol cpr or “I WAS SCARED SEEING YOU FAINTED! OH GOLLY I SURE DO LOVE THE HECKUMS OUT OF YOU.” But hell I guess we gotta wrap up this shitty plot point. Alexia, whomst, never has had an impure thought is about to chastise her for this when she hears her husband’s grunty grunts. But he’s taking a break from angry or horny grunts to grunt in pain so Alexia goes down to help. He’s been hit with a poison dart and is out cold.

Thank god his inane sexism shouting is put on hold.

When this is explained to the other werewolves one of them comments about how poison is a WOMANLY thing. Which makes no sense cause that’s how they tried to kill the queen. BTW bro, it seems by not having a high enough constitution roll, that makes your old alpha a fucking bitch then DON’T IT? Here’s a hot writing tip: Since this writing is smug and for women, can ONE OF THE TIMES we bring up a dude bro being sexist you can like OWN him? Instead of just rolling your eyes?

So Alexia does what anybody would do with her husband out of commission. Get a woman naked.

She first blames LeFoux for everything, threatens to kill her, and takes off all of an unconscious woman’s clothes in order to find ~useful gadgets~ and ~clues.~

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THIS CLUE HAS REVEALED TO US READERS!ALEXIA IS SO FUCKING DEEP IN THE CLOSET THAT ANYTHING GOING WRONG IS DUE TO THE PERSON GIVING HER GAY FEELS. SHE TAKES OUT THESE FEELINGS BY SEXUALLY ASSAULTING UNCONSCIOUS WOMEN! HOLY FUCK!

But it gets worse friends cause we gotta get commentary about how great LeFoux’s UNCONSCIOUS tits are but NOT AS GOOD AS ALEXIA’S! I’M NOT EVEN JOKING!

“It was odd to think, but she had never before seen another woman’s naked body until now. She must admit Madame Lefoux did have a rather nice one. Not so well endowed as Alexia’s own, of course, but trim and tidy with neat small breasts.”

THIS IS SURE THE QUEER REPRESENTATION I WANTED TO SEE!

So this made Alexia mad horny (even though she denies it), but worst of all its victim-blamed away when Alexia makes a note that LeFoux’s PULSE may have QUICKENED when she was stripping her. SO LIKE THAT’S CONSENT RIGHT?

And all this goes down for what? So Alexia makes a note that somebody MAY HAVE used LeFoux’s dart device to take out her shit husband? REALLY GLAD WE HAD THIS SCENE!

Oh yeah and Tunstell was in the room the entire time cause WE MIGHT AS FUCKING WELL AT THIS POINT!

Sooooooooooo

After my favorite scene in this series so far…Since it’s a man who’s been knocked unconscious we now have to take the loose attempted murderer seriously. Alexia grabs Maccon’s stashed away gun, and goes to get some nonsense out of the bag she put in Ivy’s room. Ivy wakes up (not knowing that Maccon has been attacked and the castle is in chaos-mode.) So she cries about how she really loves Tunstell and she’s still not sure what to do. Alexia blows her off and even calls her love struggles ~folderol.~

Which on one hand, sure she has other things on her mind, but she doesn’t tell Ivy, “Hey listen, that blows but my husband was attacked, the attacker is loose, and I just discovered I’m a sexual predator…but like the gay kind so that sucks.” So Ivy gets upset with her flippant attitude, in my opinion, reasonably, and Alexia waltz outta there. She remembers her papers where actually in her umbrella not her bag. Also the papers were like her ~official~ I’m a government snoop, let me do whatever I want papers. She flashes them to the werewolves and they’re like, “…Okay?” and nothing changes.

So the point of the last scene? And then it gets proper muddled here and I’m surprised an editor didn’t pick up on this nonsense.

She gives Tunstell the gun, and tells him to send an aethogram. He asks to whom and Alexia just screams at him to do it.

OKAY THEN!

She tells the werewolf pack to not go into the room where Maccon and LeFoux are and says that Tunstell will totally kill you if you try. Uhh okay? Not sure what that’s accomplishing? Also isn’t he supposed to be sending that gram? Cause that machine is explicitly not in that room. She tells the werewolves to gather all their Egyptian artifacts into one room while she’s gone. She then goes up to send that gram and forgets she told Tunstell to do it I suppose?

She finds all the crystalline what-itz smashed up with an unconscious servant there. WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD IF YOU CHECKED BEFORE BUT I GUESS THAT’S FINE! But she hid away Akeldama’s frequency so she’s able to send a message to Akeldama about doing the research she SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE 2ND CHAPTER. Akeldama says that Soulless need to be cremated and basically sends her the symbol of the broken ankh. She asked him if he knew anything several chapters ago and he didn’t but within a half hour he pinpointed the exact information she needed. Okay cool, cool, makes a load of sense.

So after Alexia talks the death out of it with Sidheag, she realizes that the mummy was a dead soulless. And, if dead and persevered, will emit a humanization aura. The broken Ankh is a symbol of a soulless, cause an Ankh symbolizes eternal life and it being broken means a soulless can break eternal life blah blah blah. And like boy howdy, I’m so glad that the drama of this story is predicated on the fact that NOBODY even centuries old vampires and the members of the minority in question knows jackshit about the basics of the world around them. Every supernatural knows the identity of every soulless, but nobody knows that you gotta burn their dead bodies? SEEMS LEGIT!

So somebody tells them that LeFoux has woken up and Alexia tells Sidheag to tell no one about the soulless body. I mean…maybe she should have told her to burn the corpse so they can all have their powers back but that would mean that her husband would wake up. And her husband must not wake up to find her sexually assaulting another woman. The scandellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

Ugh!

Say something nice Faps:

I got fucking nothing for you.

#gormless #changless #soulless

1 note · View note

manifestoonmoralmanlove · 4 years

Text

Gormless Wrap-Up

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

So here are my final thoughts on the book Changeless for those interested in such things:

Once again the big problem/perk of the story is the consistent frivolousness of it all. The book is much more interested in its supposed comedy of manners than the last. This comedy of manners mostly boils down to lol Ivy is stupid, and look at how uptight everyone is. For the most part it’s just not that clever and more often than not I’m just rolling my eyes at it. I will say this book is funnier than the last one. There are a few jokes that are just so dumb, they do hit me in a good way.

However it’s kinda frustrating when nobody seems to care about the overarching plot at all. Like there is an active shooter in the castle and they all just shrug and go to dinner and later bed. For me personally, and I don’t know if people would disagree with me on this…when I pick up a supernatural action/comedy/romance. I’m kinda there for the action, and hoping to enjoy it being peppered with a fun romance and silly comedy. Not for the action to show up once every 3 chapters, and most of it is a couple of unlikable buttholes being belligerently horny at one another and a dumb character off in the corner going, “Duhhh what does this button do?” The action at the center should be propelling the rest of the story but rather it just feels as if it was an afterthought.

But I mean…at least I find the comedy funny a few times, I did not find the action at the center compelling at fucking all. The ~who dun it spy~ antagonist was painfully easy to guess. She does a piss poor job at structuring the suspense and wastes a lot of obvious opportunities for drama. The few dramatic moments we do get I spend the time going, “that makes no sense” rather than, “WILL THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?!” Part of this issue comes down to the fact the book wants you to miss out on feeling the ~BAD~ emotions. You’re not allowed to be sad, scared, or confused as to the right course of action. ONLY HORNY AND LAUGHING! ONLY HORNY AND LAUGHING! Not only are we missing out on feelings that could make one more deeply invested in the characters and story…but there are moments that should be sad or scary and instead are just powered through with oblivious humor, which makes the lead characters seem monstrously callous or thick as pig shit.

Alexia was kinda a plucky idiot last book. This book her utter lack of human empathy and kindness makes her harder and harder to root for.

Maccon’s asshole-osity becomes increasingly apparent. He has a very bad case of hypocrisy in this book. He refuses to share basic information with his wife but gets seething mad when she doesn’t tell him much less vital information. It’s really not hot or the sign of a good leader that his tactic for dealing with people is mostly intimidation, with a pinch of violence, and that he was seriously considering hurting his wife over listening to her. The only thing he puts effort into is trying to have sex with his wife, and he really should have a few things higher on his god damn list. And honestly? He doesn’t really do much for this story at all. Alexia does all the plot lifting on her own. The only thing he contributes to is the ending, and it casts him in an incredibly dark light. And yanno it just sucks to know that he’s going to be forgiven for it and probably for as little as a “My bad.”

I continue to find the Alexia/Maccon relationship beyond irritating but at least there were a couple of moments were they genuinely seem to connect in an intimate way, which were absent from the last book. To be clear I am not conflating intimacy with sex when I use the word. The two of them are most definitely not equals in the relationship. I wouldn’t classify the relationship as abusive, but best case scenario it’s not equal and worst case scenario it’s quite unhealthy with Maccon holding most of the cards. But…I mean I can see why somebody would find their pissing contests entertaining. But for me they’re child-adults who can’t speak to one another outside of annoyed sighs and dry humping. Their banter is just not sexy or funny to me.

The Ivy and Tunstell subplot drama doesn’t work well at all. The story outright tells you it doesn’t really care about it. And the way it moves forward is clunky as all get out. In particular when they just make-out out of nowhere. I know they were trying to reconcile with how Tunstell saved her…than let that be the event that catapults them back together. Let Ivy look up into Tunstell’s eyes after the rescue and breath, “….You saved me…and after all those awful things I said about you.”

Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh who cares!?

Speaking of which we get a lot more out of Ivy this book than last and I’m just not impressed with it. I predicted that Ivy was going to be the comic relief dumb friend. That Alexia would keep her around for her own ego and just be condensing to her the entire time. Last book we didn’t get that. THIS BOOK WE GET WHAT I PREDICTED IN SPAAAAAAAAADES! Ivy is not framed as lovable, and not even for a second does Alexia interact with Ivy outside of irritated condensation she hides with a snide quip. Sure Alexia can be snarky toward her, and Ivy frustrated but there is no affection from either of them.

I’M HONESTLY NOT SURE IF ALEXIA IS CAPABLE OF SUCH A THING!

LeFoux was cool though, even though there was no reason why she had to lie about Maccon asking her to keep Alexia safe. And like the thing about their two dads knowing each other is interesting but honestly there’s probably nothing more to it. I’m not a big fan of Alexia sexually assaulting her for no reason, or how Alexia needed it explained to her that lesbians are real. But like, I’m glad the story is getting gay.

I’m kinda confused why Channing was even here? She OPENS THE BOOK with a conflict about this character and then nothing of import comes out of him or the situation at all. The whole team up with Biffy and Lyall sub-sub-sub plot should either not have even been in the book at all or there should have been significant more effort made to make their antics increase the drama for the main plot. I suspect Channing is going to be more plot important next book. AKA the next Angelique.

Just like last book the antagonist is super weak. I mean you could argue that she wasn’t revealed as the big bad until the 2nd to last chapter, you couldn’t build on her much…however her spy antics were throughout the book and none of it is very compelling. There could have easily had a better confrontation. That Alexia confronts Angelique about spy stuff, and Angelique breaks out crocodile tears explaining, “NO it was LEFOUX! I’m so sorry my lady, I couldn’t stop her!”And for a second Alexia questions it and hesitates but in that moment of hesitation BLAMO! STAB IN THE BACK! We should have had that stark contrast between her meek diligent servant persona and what a manipulative conniving bitch she’s supposed to be. Make that betrayal FELT you know?

TL;DR

What’s good?

This book is more humorous than the last. Again it’s just that NO-BUMMERS train chugging past a lot of dumb jokes in a steam-powered train straight into werewolf-fuckville. The story getting gayer is enjoyable, and I have genuinely not read a het romance that teases any lesbianism. (Though I don’t read many het romances anyway.) Despite my distaste for a lot of the characters and how this is all written, LeFoux was genuinely a lot of fun! Her flirtations were WAY sexier than anything Alexia/Maccon had…but I don’t know if that’s cause I’m gayer than I am straight WHOOPS! I will say that I think the pacing of the action in this book was better than the 1st. Also the ending, despite me not caring for the characters, was a pretty good gut-punch.

And let’s be honest, in a trilogy the middle book is the hardest to pull off.

What’s bad?

Everything falls apart on any kind of base analysis. The story spends way too much time holding your hand on stupid details like the current state of LeFoux’s dimples or is that other hot werewolf, who’s not plot relevant at all, still hot? The mystery aspect was easily guessed, the plot does not hold water, and if you take a step back from any of these characters…most of them are completely distasteful. Also this one featured much more open racism and sexism. So booooooooooo. Would not recommend.

#soulless #gormless #senseless #riffs #review

0 notes