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#I’m getting my shit rocked by ocarina for real
lovely-v · 1 year
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Me before completing the forest temple: okay I get that ocarina of time is fun and nostalgic for people but it’s a bit of a stretch to call it one of the greatest video games of all time
Me after completing the forest temple: By revealing that Link is not a Kokiri, but a Hylian, the game effectively strips him of his humble origins amongst a group of people that already fail to recognize him in his adult form. Thus, kokiri village instantly becomes a location that is no longer Link’s home in any sense, exacerbated by the fact that the game now loads up in the temple of time instead of Link’s bedroom— he is a stranger in the only place that has ever been familiar to him and he is depressingly reduced to his destiny alone. However, the subsequent introduction of the time travel mechanic, which allows the player to travel from the horrific apocalyptic future back to the idyllic past of Link’s childhood, gives new meaning to the idea of this “destiny”. In effect, Link is not a stock “chosen one”, but a protagonist who consciously decides to fight onwards. Link’s dual existence as a child who knows the grim future and as an adult who was powerless to stop disaster gives a sort of desperation to his character, because while it brings the player relief to revisit the Castle Town that is populated by cheerful villagers instead of lurking zombies, the story can only be progressed through the acknowledgement of reality — the decision to make those seven years pass again. Therefore, both the player and Link as a character must be proactive in their heroism and make the conscious choice to struggle onwards despite the darkness that permeates—
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Counter Clockwise - Chapter 4 - Dawn of the Third Day
[Here’s the next chapter of “Counter Clockwise” the second fic in my “Threatening Darkness” series. A friendly reminder to check the tags and warnings before you read this, just in case. And feel free to let me know if I tag something incorrectly so I can fix my mistake. I hope you enjoy ^u^]
Warning(s): None for this chapter
Read it on AO3
Time jolted awake to the sound of screaming. It took only a moment for his gaze to land on the youngest hero, sobbing, and reaching for something that wasn’t there. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sky hesitating, wanting to help yet not knowing how wringing his bandaged hands in worry. Warriors had sat up in bed at the sound, making his way towards the young Sailor only for Four to beat him to it. The Smithy had only just sat next to the Sailor, hand resting gently on his shoulder to allow the youngest hero to lean into him, only for Wind to throw his arms around him, sobbing into his tunic. Four ran his hand up and down his back, rocking back and forth, and murmuring quiet words of comfort.
Time could feel his heart clench seeing the normally bright and cheerful hero so terrified by whatever had caused him to wake up screaming. A small part of him wanted to know just what Dark had done to cause this, but a larger part of his mind was too scared to find out. He slowly got to his feet, joints cracking in protest at his movements, and watched as the other heroes began to get up as well, the cries of the Sailor loud enough to get all of them to their feet.
With everyone up and mostly ready, he cleared his throat, getting the attention of most of the room’s occupants.
"We're going to need to group up," Time spoke, "We need to go into Ikana to find Legend and Hyrule, and I don't want to leave anyone by themselves."
He could see the contemplative looks on Twilight and Wild's faces, and how Four kept glancing over Wind's head at everyone else. Time could tell that Wind would not be joining them, and he had a feeling Four and Twilight would want to stay to take care of him. That left Wild, Sky, and Warriors...
"Do you feel well enough to join?" he turned to the Captain, and the other looked down at himself, then turned and nodded at Time.
"I think-" Wild started, cutting off when everyone started looking at him, he cleared his throat before starting again, "I'm gonna stay here... Just in case."
"You don't need to explain yourself Wild," Sky smiled warmly at the other, "I think I'll go with you Time, if only because I think it would do some good."
Time nodded again and stood up from his place, going to grab his bag and armor while the other two did the same.
The three of them left the Inn shortly thereafter, leaving through the East Gate once again. Time saw the Stone Tower in the distance and felt a chill run down his spine. He could feel the oppressive air that lingered over the Valley of the Dead from here.
He was jolted from his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Warriors looking at him with worry in his gaze as he brought his hands up to begin signing.
’You okay there, Lil shit?’ he asked, and Time slowly nodded, bringing up his own hands to sign, able to feel how Sky was watching them.
‘Don't worry so much, dumbass big bro. I'll be fine.’ he signed back, and forced a smile, made much more real by the Captain's smile working its way onto his face.
"Let's get moving," Time finally spoke, and the others nodded, following behind as they made their way into the Canyon.
The monsters with bombs on their tails seemed to all come after them as soon as they stepped through the entrance. Sky merely batted them away with his shield, allowing them to continue. Time noticed that the figure that had sat on the side of the cliff was no longer there, though he paid little attention to that fact, focusing on the task in front of them.
Getting over the fence that blocked the way.
It was much smaller than he remembered it being, which wasn't a bad thing. They all managed to climb over it without too much difficulty, though he could hear quiet cursing from Warriors as the edge of his scarf got caught for a moment.
Stifling laughter, he led the way past the boulders in the path, all three of them moving out of the way as some fell from the cliffs overhead. Once they entered the canyon proper, Time walked past its stranger fixtures - was that a home or just a large music box? - without a glance, ignoring the questioning gazes of his companions. He instead moved to the north, towards the massive staircase that marked the entrance to the Stone Tower Temple. The other two looked around them at the imposing sight of the tower, mouths agape.
Time eyed the platforms ahead, and with a running start, he jumped to the first one.
"Come on, we need to get moving," he called out and saw Warriors snap to attention, nudging Sky. They both jumped the platforms, following Time as he made it to the other side.
Time took out his Hookshot, the others doing the same, and began to scale the exterior, the pillars having targets for them to aim for. The climb up was rough, Time had forgotten just how difficult it was to make it inside the temple proper. Every so often he’d check on his companions, making sure they were close behind him. While the heights didn’t seem to bother Sky much, the climb itself left him winded once they reached the uppermost platform while the Captain was forcing himself to keep his eyes up and away from the ground. The few enemies that met them on each platform were easily dispatched, though exhausting as they ventured onwards.
At the last platform before the eerie gaping maw of the temple, Time held out a hand, stopping their progress.
“Now for the fun part,” Time smirked, pulling out his bow and nocking an arrow. Sky and Warriors were given no warning when the temple suddenly shifted below their feet, Time laughing as they yelled. As soon as it started, it was over, and Warriors lay flat on his back staring up at the floating platforms they had just been on while Sky stood glaring at Time.
“Warn us next time?”
“Not a chance, the looks on your faces,” Time sighed, smiling as he wiped away a fake tear, “I only wish I had Wild’s Sheikah Slate to capture it.”
Warriors stood, flipping Time off as he jumped the final gap into the entryway. This, of course, only made the Old Man laugh, Sky following him as they entered the derelict temple.
There was no floor to be seen, only the clouds and sun that was supposed to be above them. It was disorienting, but Time looked unfazed, just walking along the narrow pathway and glancing upwards as he pulled out his Longshot. Sky pulled out his Clawshot, aiming at the upside-down chest that Time had been eyeing, releasing the trigger and flying onto the pathway that had been above them. Time held him steady, pulling him further down the path as Warriors found his footing.
There was very little blocking their way, Time leading them forward and through a doorway. A row of spikes greeted them at the next door, Time barely flinching as he used the Hookshot to fly over the top along with the next trap. The Boss Room awaited them below. A large pit of what looked like sand greeted them, and with a warning to hold their breath, Time jumped into the pit, the other two following behind with little hesitation.
They found themselves on a small platform in the middle of a vast desert. At first, they didn't notice that anything was amiss until they heard the sounds of an ocarina and laughter.
Time whipped around, frantically trying to locate the source, and finally seeing two figures a short way into the desert. Sky seemed to have better sight, as he soon began sprinting towards them, calling out to them.
Time and Warriors chased after the Skyloftian, worried and apprehensive as the two figures gradually came into view. Time felt relief at first, seeing Legend and Hyrule sitting together, safe, but that feeling slowly changed as he saw the looks on their faces.
Legend didn't seem to realize the presence of the three newcomers, continuing to play a song on his ocarina as Hyrule watched, a fond look on his face. They were sitting together on a fallen pillar, half-buried in the sand and if not for the area surrounding them, it would’ve almost been peaceful.
"Hey, are you guys okay?" Sky asked, only to be met with no answer, not even an acknowledgment of his words.
Time felt a prickling on the back of his neck, and quickly turned around, sword at the ready. Dark Link was behind them, looking exactly like Hyrule did if not for the piercing red eyes and a wide, sharp smile that was all too pleased.
"I see you've found the rest of your group. Don't they look so happy?" he spoke, Warriors and Sky both stiffening at his voice.
Time raised an eyebrow at him, already suspecting that a deal had been made, and yet, the two found heroes looked unharmed and happy. Dark smiled wider as Warriors reached for the sword at his back, Sky’s eyes narrowed.
“What did you do.”
"I merely gave them what they desire. The hero of Legend wanted to have the power to protect his loved ones, while the hero of Hyrule just wanted to feel safe, and I obliged."
"There's a catch. There has to be a catch." Warriors spoke, anger seeping into his words.
"I'm afraid not, hero of War." Dark sneered, gesturing to the two heroes that were sitting nearby, "They have everything they've ever wanted, and there was no reason for me to do anything more."
Time could see Sky trying to shake Hyrule out of the illusion, the traveler not reacting beyond giggling at Legend. The Veteran hero rolled his eyes at the sound, the song he played never faltering despite his growing smile. Dark Link laughed as Sky’s attempts to shake the hero back to awareness kept failing the longer he tried. Warriors made to slash at him, blade drawn, face twisted in anger, only for Dark to dodge, jumping away from the blade and disappearing into the swirling sands. His laugh echoed a moment longer, fading alongside the Dark.
Sky stood slowly, looking lost as he watched Hyrule and Legend continue on as though no one else was around them. Legend ended his song, smiling fondly as he looked to the side looking as though he was listening to someone where there was only empty space. They both looked happy, relaxed in a way that Time had never seen before now, lost in whatever illusion Dark Link had given them. As much as he wanted to save them, to take them out of whatever they were seeing, would it be right?
Warriors stepped forward, the movement drawing Time out of his thoughts. The Captain stood in front of Legend, watching him. He seemed to come to a decision, raising a hand and smacking the Veteran hero across the face. Sky winced while Time himself was staring, eye wide in shock at the Captain’s actions.
It was still, the swirling sands the only noise as the group looked on expectantly. Legend’s face was turned away from Warriors and a faint red mark spread over his cheek. Hyrule didn’t react and soon it was clear that Legend didn’t seem to notice that he had been hit either, no reaction whatsoever. Warriors walked back to Time’s side, slightly disappointed.
"So, it looks like force didn't work," he stated, and Time sighed shaking his head in exasperation.
"You really are a dumbass, sometimes."
"Hey, don't be rude, ya little shit," Warriors snarked back at the other, a small chuckle coming from Sky, [petering out as the gravity of the situation settled in].
"What should we do? We can't leave with them like this," Sky spoke softly, biting at his lower lip as he glanced at the two lost heroes, “I don’t think taking them with us in this state would be wise either.”
There was a pause, Warriors crossing his arms, brow furrowed,  as Time began clenching and unclenching his fist. He had an idea, but indecision held his tongue, there was no way that it could be that easy. Beyond that, the action of pulling them out of what was causing them to be so carefree and unburdened put a bad taste in his mouth. But he was selfish, he wanted his boys back. He pulled out the blue ocarina and paused, considering.
'Could it really be that easy? No, this has to work. There's no other option... I wonder.'
"Hey, Sky, you brought your harp with you, correct?" Sky looked confused as he confirmed as much, reverently pulling out the instrument from his bag.
"I have an idea." Time said, pulling out his ocarina, "Just follow the notes that I play."
Time began to play softly, a simple melody at first. Three notes, descending low and repeating twice. Calm seemed to settle over the area, Sky closing his eyes as he listened to the simple, melancholy melody. He carefully plucked at the strings on his harp, the same three notes, repeating them twice. Time then continued the song, the notes flowing steadily like a winding river, easily filling the silent room with the sound. The notes climbing and falling, the two instruments harmonizing perfectly.
Warriors watched as the glazed look in Legend and Hyrule’s eyes began to fade, their expressions changing from relaxed to confused. Warriors could feel relief bubbling over at the sight, and despite knowing that he wasn’t particularly musically inclined, he hummed along to the song.
Slowly, Hyrule seemed to become more aware, the confusion changing to surprise as he realized his surroundings, rubbing at his eyes as he turned to face the three heroes. The faraway look was gone. Legend, though no longer having the fond smile on his face and slowly losing the faraway look struggled, holding onto the fading scene as much as he could. Time slowly let the notes fade out, taking the ocarina away from his face and Sky carefully putting the golden harp back in his bag.
Sky approached the two heroes, kneeling down between them. Hyrule smiled uneasily, but Legend still looked off to the side. Sky reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Vet?”
Legend looked back at him, quickly schooling his expression into indifference.
“Are you okay?”
He hesitated, tensing up, Sky gave a concerned look. Legend took a deep breath.
“It’s not important right now,” he brushed Sky off, standing and looking around, “We should go.”
Time nodded, leading the way to the center of the boss room where a warp point would take them back to Ikana Valley. The walk back to the Inn was quiet save for the rustling of fabric and the quiet footfalls of the others. Time would glance back every so often, catching Hyrule looking down at his feet and Legend staring straight ahead, and yet not actually paying attention to his surroundings. Just another thing for him to be concerned about, but Time wouldn’t dwell on it.
Time was concerned for them both, feeling guilty for taking them from their illusions, and yet, he had to keep reminding himself that it was for the best. Warriors kept glancing at Time as well, and he could feel the other's concerned gaze on him. He tried to ignore it, instead looking towards the Clock Tower ahead of them, glaring up at the ominous moon that seemed to loom ever closer.
Something clicked in Time’s head, puzzle pieces finally falling into place as his eye widened, and he took off in a sprint, much faster than he ever moved before. He could hear the startled calls from the four behind him, but he ignored them, racing for the Inn and the rest of his team.
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regrettablewritings · 4 years
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How They Spend the Quarantine (Tadashi Hamada, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Wade Wilson, Harley Quinn, & Benoit Blanc)
Just a fun (?? is that even responsible to say?) little thing I’ve been thinking about while slogging through this neverending hellscape of an extended lockdown.
Tadashi Hamada
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When San Fransokyo was ordered to go into a lockdown, there were mixed feelings.
At first, Tadashi had a hint of optimism that this would mean more time to work on his prospective projects . . . But then he quickly realized that his projects mostly required tools and space offered by the campus. He could technically make do at home, but it wouldn’t quite be the same considering the garage was considered Hiro’s space.
Somberly had to clean out his lab and take whatever he could home.
Cue the rest of the group (sans Fred and Hiro) griping that at least his style of science could travel well enough to be somewhat continued off of university grounds.
Helps do delivery for The Lucky Cat. It helps him get out the house, and it’s simply helpful altogether.
Uses Baymax frequently to make sure everyone down to Mochi is sanitized, and nobody’s running a fever.
Nearly as frequent a sanitizer as Aunt Cass.
He starts most days prepared to be productive, only to stop and poke fun at Hiro, who’s almost always got his eyes trained on a video game.
Tadashi realizes three hours later that he, too, has been playing the game as Player 2.
Learned how to make facial masks with Aunt Cass. He already knew how to sew a little but frankly, making the masks made him realize he could have a new hobby on his hands. He’s currently trying to figure out how to make Mochi a little vest . . .
Lucifer Morningstar
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B o r e d. A s. F u c k.
At first, he thinks everyone being forced to go home would work in his favor -- surely some rule-breakers would sneak out and try to bunk up with the Devil, right?
Well . . . Kinda? Once Chloe found out and scolded him about it, the idea died real fast. Plus, he realized he wasn’t quite fond of the possibility of being around someone who could pop up with a disgusting human sickness at any point during their time with him. Smearing their snot all over, coughing into his Egyptian cotton sheets . . . Nope, never mind, he is perfectly content having the penthouse to himself, thank you very much!
Except he’s not.
The poor bastard is going crazy by himself -- he’s just not used to being without some kind of company!
“At least in Hell, you could tell there were people around you based on the screaming!” he’d whine at his phone during his hourly video chat with Chloe.
Oh yes: The video chats. He tries to make them hourly with anyone he can get a hold of (namely, his long-suffering detective) but this clearly never plays out as he would like for it to: If he had it his way, everyone would respond in an instant and let him bounce mainly one-sided conversations off of them -- basically, what he did before all this went down.
What usually winds up happening is he gets hung up on or nobody answers him at all out of sheer annoyance over his clinginess.
Ironically, he’s not exactly crazy about when Amenadiel initiates those “family calls”. He insists it’s healthy and normal for them to do this and even calls Luci out on the hypocrisy, but let’s face it: Lucifer finds it obnoxiously gushy and weird.
He works his way into Linda’s video appointment books to help him cope with his boredom and admitted need for interactions. She doesn’t mind offering him counsel, but once Lucifer starts attempting to butt in during others’ appointment calls, it becomes an issue.
Has, at some point, gotten buzzed down in Lux and streamed himself attempting to pole dance. It drew quite a bit of attention.
He’s managed to gain a bit of a following and some companionship by streaming himself playing piano and singing. It’s not the same thing as having an actual audience, in his opinion, but it will have to do for now.
He’s never been one to binge with regards to TV shows or movies, but after the first week, he decided to binge watch every work action star Wesley Cabot was ever in.
Makes sure his staff still gets paid well. After all, he’s pretty well-off; there’s no need to make an innocent bartender’s life a living hell just because some other rich bastard fucked up, yeah?
Going off this, should he need to order to-go or anything, we already know he tends to tip as handsomely as he looks.
Dewey Finn
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Kids were being sent to Horace Green on tuitions worth more than what some people saw in half a year -- of course the school was going to continue classes online!
While technically an afterschool instructor, the program is popular enough for parents to expect it to continue, and for Dewey to be kept on payroll.
Initially, he was pretty smug: He’s one if, if not, the youngest teacher-figure at Horace Green, so surely that means he’s more tech savvy than his older, stiffer coworkers, right? For once, he’s ahead of the curve!
Wrong: Figuring out Zoom was a headache, and then there was the realization of just how dependent his classes were on actual physical presence.
Plus, let’s be real: Dewey’s Internet connection was decent on its own, but craptastic when compared to those of his wealthier students. The lag is strong with this one.
Has definitely accidentally messed up the background on his screen. Somehow wound up with the Beetlejuice background and got so frustrated, he wound up keeping it there for two whole sessions.
In spite of the slight issues regarding lag, they pull through and try to resume lessons as best they can.
Tries to keep optimism by pointing out how this is a new form of entertainment they could be pioneers in.
Some days, it’s just going so wack or everyone’s so bleh that Dewey just assigns for them to watch a music documentary or something.
“Okay, kids, Mr. Finn’s hungover and clearly Summer is the only one who went to bed before 3am. So what I’m gonna have you do is watch . . . Prrrbbbb . . . Amadeus.” “How is Amadeus rock-related?” “It had a rock single, shut up. Anyway, we meet back next class and talk about what we saw, m’kay? M’kay. Over and out.”
Next class, he’s filled with dread as Summer produces an in-depth analysis of the relationship or lack thereof between character and the presence of talent as evidenced by Mozart’s abilities juxtaposed with his immature presentation and -- Dewey just can’t keep up. Sure, Summer, why not?
When he’s not busy teaching, however, he’s using the lockdown to work on some new material. Or just screwing around.
Otherwise, let’s be real, Big Boy’s living the high life in a place of his own: Playing video games (Animal Crossing, recently got back into Team Fortress 2, is trying to finally finish Ocarina of Time); eating a not very great diet; staying up late, napping at weird times; all in the name of quarantine.
If he orders delivery or to-go, he tips the best he can.
Wade Wilson
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On one hand, murking never goes on lockdown. But on the other . . . He’s already technically not well, why risk that even with his mutation?
Oh, fuck I just remembered he lives at the X Mansion, never mind turn back turn back oh god give us free --
The situation is tense to say the least. There’s Wade, who’s sensible enough to know why the quarantine is in place . . . and then there’s everyone else, who knows Wade’s full of shit.
And by everyone, I “coincidentally” mean Colossus, Nega Sonic, Yukio, Domino, Cable, and Russ because the already small world of the sequel just got smaller by the fact that everyone is bound to a large but nonetheless single estate whose size has probably decreased from that of the First Class timeline.
You know those videos of the usual Quarantine Characters? Wade is somehow yet still unsurprisingly all of them, save for the frequent sanitizer. He raids the pantry frequently, sleeps at all hours, considers scooting a swivel chair down the halls exercise for the thighs, blasts video games, and so on.
Going back to the sanitizer thing, it’s not that he’s just not exactly known for being tidy. Colossus occasionally does drag him out of bed at a decidedly decent time (read: any time before 11am) to try and get him excited about cleaning up around the mansion, but it rarely ends well. At this point, the safest option is to just remind Wade to wash his hands for 20 seconds as necessary.
Has acquired a Switch and visits everyone’s island, often to bonk them on the head with a net or gift them with weird crap they don’t necessarily want. For the “friends” from Sister Margaret’s, he has somehow acquired their Dodo Codes. Nobody knows how he did this. 
Facetimes Dopinder frequently.
“Precious, you’re the beacon of light in this cold, cruel world.” “I miss you, too, DP --” “Sshshsh! I’m having a moment . . .” *weeps*
On the many occasions he orders delivery, he tips by giving the delivery person something expensive from the mansion that they can sell. Prof. X is loaded, after all. Plus, he more or less isn’t even present in this universe, it’s not like he’s gonna miss anything he can’t see/probably doesn’t even know exists in his house. The problem is, Colossus does exist and does notice and does care when things go missing. Leading to many a delivery person getting caught up in shenanigans at that weird school in the boonies that they either don’t get paid enough to deal with or couldn’t pay to make up.
“Oh, pawn shops are closed?” asks the man who looks like a skinned avocado if avocados had human skin. “Don’t worry, lemme hook you up -- I know some guys --” “DEADPOOOOOLLL!!” roars a Russian accent from inside the house. “WHERE IS THE BRONZE BUST OF THE PROFESSOR!?” The poor delivery person’s eyes widen as they realize that the odd cargo they’ve been presented with apparently holds some value of some kind. But before they can flee, the avocado man blurts, “Shit! Leave the pizza in the bushes, look me up on my Youtube page, byyyeeee!!”
In his defense, Wade does hold up his end of the deal. Much like the Dodo Codes, nobody knows what strings he pulled. They just accept it and move on.
Harley Quinn
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Surprisingly compliant.
She’s crazy, not stupid: Staying at home may suck, but what sucks more is making things harder on people who may not fair so well. Besides, she’s spent time in a maximum security prison -- she can handle staying cooped up in her own home. At least home has TV, books, and snacks.
When she hears people are still going out without masks or plotting to have a protest, she strongly considers firing up the old Fun Gun and popping the next sign-carrying Karen she sees with a tit full of cadmium yellow powder.
Seriously, stay the fuck home and fuck up your own hair; this is the perfect time to make mistakes with your looks, it ain’t like you got anywhere to be or anyone to impress.
“STAY THE FUCK HOME, BITCH!” P O W!!! “JUST GO GREY ALREADY, WE ALL KNOW YOUR HAIR AIN’T THAT COLOR ANYMORE, YOU’RE THREE YEARS FROM BEING IN THE GODDAMN AGE-BRACKET!!!” P O W!!!!
Only leaves her new apartment to grab groceries and to take Bruce on a walk. She actually refuses to steal or cause a scene during this shitshow because she may be a bad guy, but she sure ain’t evil.
So far, there haven’t been complaints about the fact that she’s walking a hyena down a public street. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly anyone out? Maybe it’s because Gothamites just can’t be bothered to be fazed by it . . . Or maybe it’s because she made him a little mask for his snout.
“In this house, we wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, kid.”
Lets the forest reclaim the earth, so to speak. She was never really shaving anything for anyone but herself before, but now it just seems especially pointless.
Spends almost every day in a kigurumi. To give her a semblance of routine, she has a pink bear one she calls her “Sunday Suit.” She doesn’t know it’s not Sunday because the days just blur but Cass just doesn’t have the heart to tell her; she seemed so proud of herself . . .
Like everyone else, she’s gotten Animal Crossing. She’s trying to create an all-preppy island with a few exceptions (Astrid = Aesthetic, m’kay?)
Tips nicely when ordering delivery.
Benoit Blanc
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As young and spry in nature as the gentleman sleuth would like to think of himself, he would really rather not test the dangers of the situation and go about all foolhardy -- he’s staying home!
In theory, it’s only logical and therefore perfectly fine. But in practice . . . God, he wishes he’d invested more in things to occupy himself with when home.
It wasn’t that Benoit was never home, he just never felt too much of a need to invest in a fancy entertainment center -- the fanciest he ever got was an iHome.
The beginning of the quarantine served as the perfect time for him to read over case files, catch up on paperwork, even catch up on some reading he’d been putting on hold since God knows when due to cases popping up left and right. But that dried up quicker than he’d assumed, and that’s when he was faced with what a man of his mind dreads the most: Boredom.
Finally caved and decided to hook up Amazon Fire.
Expected to use the one-month free trial on Netflix and be just fine but once the lockdown in his area got extended and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to catch up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at this rate, he caves even further and buys a subscription.
Fully delights at the influx of platforms uploading Broadway recordings; when The Show Must Go On put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, followed by The Phantom of The Opera, it was a treat, I tell you!
Sanitizes often, despite hardly ever leaving his house besides to have a smoke or to go grab groceries. Honestly, it’s less about cleaning at this point so much as it is finding something to occupy his focus when he feels there’s nothing else to so.
Takes zinc after every meal to help lessen the intensity of any ailment that might hit him.
Definitely owns a facemask. There’s a good chance it’s from Marta or one of his relatives, and there’s another good chance the pattern is as flamboyant as his clothing. He’s delighted.
Benoit tries not to rely too much on delivery,  as he’d much rather just cook. On the rare occasion where tipping comes up, however, he gives as generously as he can.
Bonus: There’s a slight chance he might have acquired a companion to foster early on in the quarantine. Benoit hadn’t had a pet since childhood, a crime of which he was admittedly melancholic of his own involvement. However, his surprisingly busy lifestyle just wouldn’t suit a four-legged friend, now could it?
Well, now there’s time to. Besides, it would certainly ease the potential feeling of loneliness to have someone or something with whom he could interact with.
Admittedly, when shelters began encouraging people to invest time in taking home a companion, he’d been looking more for a comrade on the canine side of the spectrum -- but darn, if Duke wasn’t a handsome cat.
A lovely grey-and-white cat with eyes that matched his own, Duke has become the one Benoit monologues to (because in all honesty, the man is a performer at heart, in need of an audience to speak his mind to and portray a thought before). Plus, he doesn’t appear to mind it when Benoit finds himself belting out in tone-deaf notes to showtunes while washing the dishes: The mark of a true companion.
At this rate, he’s probably not going to keep fostering Duke when things calm down -- he’s probably going to just straight up adopt him.
Stay safe & healthy!
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@dbzebra so kindly sent me 1-6 for the shipping asks, but I put my phone down to change the song on Spotify and when I opened tumblr again it was gone 😅 literally disappeared LOL. Wasn’t in my drafts or my inbox, so I’m answering it here.
1. What was your first OTP
It was probably Jack and Rose from Titanic. My parents let me watch it on vhs when I was only 5, and up until that point, the deepest portrayal of love that I had seen was that of Disney movies (not very deep at all lol) and I was just so blown away by them. Ever since, I’ve probably watched titanic once a month (it’s my all-time favorite movie) And I still cry like a baby EVERY. DAMN. TIME. 😂
Around the same time, I played Ocarina of time and really loved Zelda and Link. I’m still pissed she sent him back in time, even if it was the right thing to do lol.
I think those two pairings shocked me as a kid and made me realize that some of the greatest couples don’t get to get married and grow old together. I think they started my love of bittersweet/angsty/ tragic fanfics lol
2. What is your current OTP
Oh I can’t pick just one 😫 all my otps are special to me. However, the three pairings I’m currently writing about in my upcoming fanfics are probably on my mind the most lately lol
3.Do you have any OT3/ OT+
I live under a rock🙈does ot3 mean polyamorous ships?? Currently, I don’t have any. Ain’t anything wrong with it, it just isn’t for me. And I’m typically a multishipper but I can’t imagine my faves with more than one person at the same time.
4. What is/are your favorite tropes?
Friends to lovers, forbidden romance, knight in shining armor saves the princess, enemies to lovers, marriage of convenience turning into love, Star-crossed lovers. I have a lot of faves lol
5. What is/are your least favorite tropes
Cheating. I hate hate HATE it.
Kinda similar to cheating, I hate love triangles. They make me nervous, and often result in a nice character being hurt.
I don’t like abuse as a trope either. And I use that term loosely because I don’t hold fictional characters to real life standards sometimes, but come on there’s way better shit to write about.
Specifically in the dbz fandom, I’m not a huge fan of the biting your mate thing. Like sometimes, it’s an integral part of the story and as long as it’s well written, then yay! Love it! 👍🏼 but sometimes it’s too much. Like a hickey itself is hot enough, why are we drawing blood like that time Rick grimes bit that biker Joe’s neck in season 4 of the Walking Dead?? (If you know, you know LOL) it’s icky. And while we’re at it, I hate the saiyan tail stub as an erogenous zone. That little fur nugget above the ass crack ain’t sexy, STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT SEXY. (Of course that is just my opinion and I DO NOT mean to insult anyone with my opinions.)
6. Do you have a certain kind of ship you’re more attracted to?
I’ve never really thought about it before, but I guess I’m a sucker for the kind of relationship that challenges one or both members to be a better person (ie: Bulla x Uub, Chouji x Ino, Vegeta x Bulma) I firmly believe that good relationship will always bring the best out of a person. I also love when a pairing has a great balance of characteristics. One could be more high strung, and the other more laid back, like shikamaru x temari. And like Pan x Trunks (disclaimer, i adore this pairing but I ONLY like them under the condition that the ages are changed, or shes at least 25, and knows what she’s getting into), she reminds him to let loose and not be so anxious, while he’s her rock and helps keep her steady when her passion and strong temper gets the best of her. Some more of my fave pairings that illustrate the opposites attract thing are Sasha x Jean, Armin x Annie, Levi x Petra, Ling Yao x Lan Fan, Ed x Winry, Gohan x Videl, Krillin x 18, Bulla X Goten (👈🏼same age disclaimer as Trunks and Pan) I also really just love when two wholesome, family oriented people find each other too ( like Goten x Marron, Goku x ChiChi, Skyward Sword Link x Zelda) Those ships make for a great, healthy, butterflies in your stomach type of romance.
Thanks so much for sending these! 😃
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All 65 ho! 😤
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
I mean I guess kind of sometimes? As someone with ADHD, object permanence is a big thing so if I don't see you, you aren't real xD
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
Um, it varies, actually. Generally speaking, I'm not afraid. But sometimes I have lots of nightmares and the darkness is awful and I will deadass sleep with the light on. Also while I'm not afraid, if I hear sounds, I am terrified xD
3. The person you would never want to meet?
Jason Mamoa. He seems like a fine person but something about his appearance triggers my fight or flight.
4. What is your favorite word?
Hippopomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
I think maybe either a birch or a weeping willow?
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
That's not yellow
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a green Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time shirt that my sister got for me a few years ago at Fan Expo.
8. What do you label yourself as?
Panromantic asexual. Gender identity wise, demigirl. I recently learned what omnisexual is and I'm curious, but I don't want to come out again so panromantic it is xD
9. Bright room or dark room?
Bright! Lots of sunlight for plants and reading!
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I was being trained at work
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
I think 18, just because mentally I'm still there.
12. Who told you they loved you last?
My boyfriend :3 I miss him.
13. Your worst enemy?
Dickface. He called me his step daughter once and I almost fucking lost it in that Tim Hortons. I had to fight so hard not to say anything. I was also fighting some pretty rough food poisoning that week so I was not in the mood to argue xD
14. What is your current desktop picture?
On my computer? I think it's a rat xD it's either me with Cortana on my shoulder or Willow peeking through some bars, I can't remember.
15. Do you like someone?
I like my boyfriend. A lot. I mean I hope I do since we have been dating for 6 years xD but I also have a celebrity squish. Patrick Dempsey. Motherfucker. Yes. That smile. Those EYES.
16. The last song you listened to?
https://youtu.be/0Eh4b0Ge-sM
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
That power hungry cheeto. But only if I wouldn't get caught.
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Dickface. He is a child abuser and just a shitty person all around. I called him a stupid idiot on my birthday and lost my fucking mind because I didn't actually mean to and he looked PISSED.
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
I don't know who, but I would make them cuddle because I am touched starved and need a fucking hug xD
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
I'm doing this all in my phones notes so I can't add a picture, but I love my tattoos and piercings! I have both nostrils pierced, my septum and snakebites. Tattoo wise, I have the Triforce of Courage on my left hand, a small blue hard on my right thumb, a beautiful memorial rat tattoo on my left leg, Midna's Fused Shadow on my left arm and Expecto Patronum on my right wrist. I. Need. More.
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
Not gonna lie, I'd probably jerk off xD
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
If I shared it, it wouldn't be a secret.
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
I... don't know
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
I would stick with my normal Subway order: lettuce, tomato, red onions, LOTS OF PICKLES, cheese, black forest ham, mayo and salt and pepper.
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
Not gonna lie, I would probably get some Subway and maybe some candle making supplies.
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
California. I miss my boyfriend. Let's go.
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
Joke's on you, I don't really drink alcohol! I would instead request all the apple juice :')
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Pet rats for everyone!!!!
29. What is your favorite expletive?
I enjoy cunt :3
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
My little stuffed lion. I would also grab my teddy bear seeing as they are always together.
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? (Tw rape for this question)
I mean... all of these experiences have made me who I am. But if i can erase one experience without changing who I am, it would be nice to not have been raped.
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
I would say Indonesia because volcanoes! But I am also very gay and I don't believe that is a gay friendly country... so... maybe Japan? All of this assuming that the boyfriend is with me. If not, then California.
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My grandpa. I really miss him... I want him to see how far I've come and I want to spend more time with him.
34. What was your last dream about?
I have been having a weird amount of sex dreams lately...
35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?
Rat mom? I like to think so! Shameless plug, but I have a blog here called @ratpotatoez where you can see my beautiful chonks. I'm also on Facebook and YouTube.
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?
I mean yes? But not for like an overnight stay.
37. Have you ever built a snowman?
Yes
38. What is the color of your socks?
Fuck socks
39. What type of music do you like?
Depends on my mood. I love heavier, alternative rock but my heart will forever belong to Simple Plan.
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
I think they're both really lovely!
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?
Vanilla
42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)
I don't like football. The only sport I watch is hockey.
43. Do you have any scars?
I am covered in self harm scars (I'm working on covering them up with tattoos). I don't really have any scars with cool stories. I had one that went down my arm but somehow it healed??? Someone in gym class accidentally took a chunk out of my arm with their finger nail and I had a hole in my arm for the longest time!!! I also have a scar on my knee from when I was really young, maybe 3 or 4. I was balancing on some bricks in someone's garden and I lost my balance, fell, and hit my knee on the brick. I remember there being blood running all down my leg as I screamed and cried. So that was fun.
44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
I don't know. I do know, though, that I want to go to culinary school. I also want to go to school for creative writing.
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My weight. I gained 100+lbs when I went off my anti-depressants and I swelled up like a balloon. I've felt like shit about myself ever since.
46. Are you reliable?
I sure as shit hope so!
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
Was it worth it...?
48. Do you hold grudges?
I try not to, but I think I do ._.
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
PIGEON RAT
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
"I just really want to punch this horse in the face, okay?"
51. Are you a good liar?
I think so, yes. Trauma does that to you.
52. How long could you go without talking?
When I get super super drained, I go mute. I can stop talking for days at a time.
53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
I once left the hair dressers with essentially what was a fucking bowl cut. Yea, I wasn't thrilled. I refused to remove my hat.
54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
Yes. At 3AM. Because fuck a healthy sleep schedule.
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
I can do an okay British accent and an okay Indian accent.
56. What do you like on your toast?
Butter. Just butter.
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
Um... I don't remember the last time I drew. Actually, that's a lie. I tried drawing a "small town doctor" while playing Drawful. I drew a very tiny doctor with a city skyline behind him.
58. What would be you dream car?
Literally anything with the popup headlights.
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
I talk to myself in the shower. Granted, I do that everywhere xD it's the only way I can work through my thoughts. I also cry in the shower a lot.
60. Do you believe in aliens?
Yes. We can't be the only ones here.
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
I don't really have a favourite. But I do like D. Mostly because it's the first letter of my boyfriends name, but also it reminds me of a woman I helped while working in tech support. She needed help figuring out her gif keyboard so I helped and she was so excited when I told her how to search for gifs. She then started giggling like a little girl saying she wondered what might happen if she searched for DICK. She made my day xD I think about her a lot. I hope she's doing well.
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
Don't do this to me...
Dragons are obviously amazing but haVE YOU EVER SEEN A DINOSAUR?!?!? LIKE THOSE THINGS ARE REAL. THEY WERE ALIVE. THEY FUCKING RULED THE EARTH. HAVE YOU SEEN A STEGOSAURUS?!?!?!?!?
64. What do you think about babies?
I like babies a lot. Like so much. I have super colourful hair, too, so they seem fascinated with me :') but their little chubby cheeks omg
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.
Fun fact: I actually really like the smell of wet dog. It's kind of a really comforting smell.
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redloftwingfeathers · 4 years
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Okay, big post time.
2019 was definitely a shit show, especially towards the end of 2018 as it transitioned into January. Work was slow, so I barely had any hours to put in, which meant I was pretty much running on less than $50 a month. Keep in mind I had two jobs in the same field. Neither of them had any work for me, free lancing SUCKS. Summer of 2019 I picked up a third job and waitressed for 6 months. It was great, I had spare cash for gas, I could pay for my cat's meds before his unfortunate passing and I was able to afford some things for christmas when the holidays came round. Ditched waitressing by mid December though bc I couldn't take the stress anymore, and I didn't get along with the head chef so that was my last straw. On top of that, my mom really relies on me as her mode of transportation, so I've been her Uber for a hot while. I'm really looking forward for 2020 this year. Business is starting to pick up with my art jobs again, my first boss finally bought a place we're leasing, so this means we actually have a studio and don't have to travel as much, but she still wants to keep that gig up. Second boss, I can feel her becoming more organized but she's still a bit air headed and I feel like it just...is a chore to keep up with her. I want to leave but it's hard when she keeps complimenting me and loving that I work for her. So maybe something will change for the best.
In other news, as of a month now I've been on my new antidepressant and although I still have a neutral emotion set in place, my intrusive thoughts have been muffled and I don't lay in bed for an extra hour anymore. I feel motivated to get things done and it's such a weird experience. My executive dysfunction was horrible to the point even I was convinced I was just being lazy like a mopey zoo animal. My brain is so surprised at itself for actually functioning like a normal person, i dont even think I'm fully processing everything, I just get up and do it without second thought. Wild. I don't think I can cry though. So we'll see how that plays out.
I've been fucking HOOKED on Fate/Grand Order the past 3 fucking years so if you play, dm me and I'll add you as a friend. These antidepressants are making me actually grind/farm for hours on end it's fuckjng wild.
Apparently I have a vitamin D deficiency, so I'm excited to see where that goes.
And recently my niece has piqued an interest in the legend of zelda franchise, so I've slowly been teaching her the lore and introduced her to Ocarina of Time on my 3ds. I wanted my wii to be hooked up but I can't even find it, let alone the disc so that's concerning.
I'm really looking forward to coming back to this blog, I've treated it more as a side blog when this was my main account..
On top of all that, I super appreciate you guys that do follow for my content, even when I fuck off for like 2 months. I'm literally 5 followers away from 4K. Like. that's fucking NUTS. You like my shitposts?? And Zelda tangents?? Thank you, bless you, what the fuck, that's so cool!! It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. You guys honestly rock. Thank you, especially to y'all that's been here since 2011. You're the real mvp for dealing with my mod podge of a blog.
Again, I'm really looking forward to good things 2020. I hope good things come to you guys as well!!
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sage-nebula · 4 years
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how do you like sword/shield so far? i'm a little leery of the whole reduced pokedex thing, but then again, they did this with black/white but worse. mostly, i'm intrigued by the rivals :D
The lack of a National Dex was not done with Black/White, and certainly not worse than it is here. While it’s true that only Unova pokémon were able to be found and caught in the wild in Black/White during the main story, once the main story was completed and the National Dex was obtained, players could transfer in any pokémon from Gen I to Gen IV. The ‘dex was never limited, and in fact in an interview given around that time, Masuda said that they would never limit the ‘dex because they didn’t want to cut people off from pokémon they loved the way they almost had to between Gen II and Gen III (before finding a way around it with FireRed/LeafGreen and the Colosseum/XD games). So no, the limited ‘dex that we have in Sword/Shield---and that we’re going to have in the foreseeable future---is not something they already did in Gen V. It’s brand new, and is unfortunately never going away.
That said, a brief rundown of my thoughts on Gen VIII so far, keeping in mind that I only have Sword and that I’m only just past the first gym (because I’m trying to get a Galar Ponyta through Surprise Trade and it’s not going well):
Pros: 
The trainer customization is already much better than it was in Sun/Moon, and I like that you have a clothes shop right in the first (real) town, so that you don’t have to be stuck with an ugly outfit for too long if you don’t want to be. I do wish that there was a genuinely purple color option for hair, but the fact that my trainer is at least wearing good clothes soothes the wound for me.
Being able to skip (some of) the tutorials was a GODSEND. I must’ve missed the way to skip the “how to catch a pokémon” tutorial with Leon, unfortunately, but I was able to tell the others to fuck off when it came to learning what a Pokémon Center is and whatnot, and that was just so great. Honestly, I’ve been playing these games since before these characters were even conceptualized, I do not need them to tell me a goddamn thing.
I like seeing pokémon in the overworld, because it makes it not only easier to know what you’re about to do battle with, but also more realistic (in the sense that it doesn’t make sense to have a huge bear just attack you out of nowhere in tall grass; there’s no way you shouldn’t be able to see it coming).
The game is so BRITISH that I find it really charming and amusing. I like that even in the US version they kept all the English slang and terminology, and even worked it into some accents (like you can tell that Marnie is supposed to have a working class London accent, and I like that).
I like most of the characters so far, and am especially thrilled that we finally have a jerkass rival again. It’s been three thousand years . . .
I like several of the new pokémon so far. My team is only four ‘mon at the moment (would be five if I could get someone to TRADE ME A PONYTA), but they’re all good.
While there are some graphical areas that don’t look so hot (those Ocarina of Time trees . . .) other aspects, like the water, look pretty nice.
Cons:
The music, by and large, is so generic and doesn’t have a Galar feel. This has been an increasing problem with the past two gens, although admittedly there were certain themes in the Gen VII games that tried to spin a Hawaiian sound for Alola (e.g. the PokéCenter theme). In earlier gens, the wild battle and trainer battle themes were all distinctive, sometimes to the point of leaning heavily on certain instruments (e.g. Hoenn’s famous trumpets, and I remember Sinnoh having quite a bit of percussion). But in recent times the themes all kind of sound alike, to the point where the main overture can be heard in standard Galar trainer battles. As someone who always loves OSTs, that’s pretty disappointing to me.
THE STUPID Y-COMM BADGES ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SCREEN HOLY SHIT. The fact that you cannot turn these notifications off naturally is maddening. I keep having to turn wireless communication on and off to clear the notifications because that’s the only way I can figure out how to do it (because even in Local Communication you get notifications for shit you just did like?? I know what I did, leave me alone??). Y-Comm is definitely better than RotomDex, don’t get me wrong, but oh my god that thing is bloody annoying. If they could patch in a way to turn off Y-Comm notifications that would be real swell.
It’s not as bad in the spot where I am at right now, but in the beginning of the game for sure I was being stopped by either Hop or Sonia every ten seconds and that was really annoying. The writing was a bit repetitive at times now (e.g. I don’t need to be reminded every two seconds that Leon gets lost easily, I got that the first time you told me).
If you have wireless communications on in the wild area, the lag is pretty noticeable. Aside from the Y-Comm notifications, this is another reason I prefer to keep it off.
I spent $18,000 on a Gym Challenge uniform and my trainer still wears the ugly default one in challenges and I see no way to change this. I feel like I was personally victimized. (Speaking of, the Arcanine shirt is $30,000 while all other shirts are $980 hello?? Considering Arcanine is one of my signature ‘mon I feel personally attacked by this.)
The weather effects in the wild area seem random and don’t really make sense, haha. Like I get it, there are phenomena in real life where you can be in a place that’s raining and then drive through it, but how is the sunlight harsh in one spot, but two steps later it’s snowing . . . like I live in a place where we experience every time of weather phenomena there is to experience throughout the year (we have summers over 100 F easily, and then winters -10 F easily), sometimes on a day to day basis, but even then, this is kind of ridiculous lol.
I’m starting to think none of the big pokémon in the wild area will be catchable until after I beat the game considering how they’re all mysteriously still too strong after I got my first badge, but we’ll see I guess lol.
There are probably more things I could say for each, but this is where I’m at right now. I am enjoying it more than I thought I would, but my expectations going in were also rock bottom, so that’s not really saying much in terms of kudos to Game Freak, haha. We’ll see how things shake out for the rest of the game.
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angelic-guardienne · 5 years
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Playing Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Wow, hey guys, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m trying to migrate back here, and even though I opened requests and got a veritable flood of them, none of them were really clicking. Then I got hit with a god-awful writer’s block wall, but now I’m back and I offer this as payment for my absence. It’s not the longest, but it’s more than I thought I’d be able to do, so. I hope you guys enjoy it!!
Tagging: @mashkewrites @joioliviapolaroid @crazykruemel @ponkita @tales-of-a-fallen-star @goldenrosechain @valkyrieofardyn @insomniacapples @kawaiinekorose @glacian-apocalypse @honey-your-bee-puns-sting @neo-queen-alinity @singergurl91 @jaysfandomcorner @commitmentroses @tea-and-ebony-for-my-chocobros @sakuraangel1 @tiniestofqueens @bestchocobois   
These are gonna be all over the place so bear with me for a little bit
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. A classic, or so they’ve heard. Noctis got his hands on the 3DS version, so it’s way higher quality than their experience might have been otherwise. The graphics aren’t as good as some of the other games they like to play, but the way things look here have a certain nostalgic, homey feel to them, so they get by
Since tech is a little more advanced, presumably, or Noct has a hella gamer set-up, he can wire his 3DS to the TV so that all the bros can watch him play in real time. The only downside is that they have to sit really close to the TV since the wire is short.
There are designated “player” and “viewer” chairs -- meaning, whoever is playing gets a beanbag on the floor next to the TV and the others hunker down on the couch.
They all have a mutual agreement to play with the 3D feature off; it fucks with their eyes and doesn’t show up on the big screen anyways so there’s no point
Ignis is super duper intrigued by the soundtrack and is one of those folks (like me) that is affected by music to the point that he’d get nostalgic for a game he’s never even played. He really loves the OoT soundtrack (an understatement)
Gladio is normally the “hit it till it dies” type when playing adventure games, but for OoT (and Zelda games in general), he plays completely differently. He’s careful, he solves all the puzzles and learns the boss fight mechanics in record time
The only thing Gladio really dislikes about the game is the drawbridge to Castle Town going up at night. He knows there’s a logical in-universe reason for it and he appreciates the attention to detail, but damn, fuck a bitch named a drawbridge
Prompto is in LOVE with the graphics. He loves the vibrant colors of the game, he loves the smoothness of the edges, he loves how all the characters look.
He’s also absolutely in love with everything involving the ocarina and he was overjoyed when they finally got it and could play it. He’s the one who discovered that pressing up or down on the D-pad raises and lowers the pitch of the note being played
Epona’s Song is Prom’s favorite song, it calms him way down and just sounds really nice. He spends a lot of time at Lon Lon Ranch and he catches himself humming the tune on many occasions
Noctis just loves the game all around. It definitely lives up to his expectations. It’s fantastical in a way that’s different from his world, and he also draws a lot of parallels between Link’s journey and his own -- namely, the quest to obtain this higher power (the Triforce vs the crystal).
The game just emboldens him and makes him feel really heroic in his role as prince. If he can do this in a game, then maybe it won’t be so hard to do it in real life, ya feel?
Noct also loves the soundtrack, just not as much as Ignis does
Prompto, because he’s so invested in the visuals, is often the most attentive spectator. Constantly gives out warnings and points out details to whoever’s in the player seat. “Noct go over there! Gladio look, the switch is in the corner there!!”
Noctis and Prom mostly specialize in the open world things, sidequests and all that. Gladio is a dungeon master and is usually the one handling those. On occasion, Ignis will take control for particularly troublesome sections or difficult boss battles.
Each of them has gone through Ganon’s Castle in its entirety on their own at least once
Gladio really wants to do a three-heart run or a speedrun of the game, just to see if they can, but 9 times out of 10 he gets overruled because Noctis and Prom are reckless with hearts and Prompto and Ignis love taking their time
Master Quest stumps them all several times, so Ignis and Prompto rattle off instructions from strategy guides as needed while Noctis and Gladio carefully plod along through the dungeons
Speaking of the dungeons tho
Collectively, the least favorite dungeon is the Shadow Temple (and, of course, the Bottom of the Well). Otherwise, they have mostly differing opinions about the temples
My personal favorite is the Spirit Temple so I’m gonna go off about it right here right now
I know what I just said, but man, they all LOVE the Spirit Temple. The music. The atmosphere. The story. The build-up. The bosses. Everything. Ignis especially adores the symmetry of it all. The first time they get to it, they’re all literally speechless. It will live on as one of the defining moments of the playthroughs
Gladio isn’t a fan of fetch quests and scavenger hunts, so the Fire Temple was not it. He handed control over to Noct for that time being, because Noct has more patience with that kind of stuff
However, despite that, Gladio loves the Gorons. It’s an obviously drawn bias, but like. Super strong race, breakin rocks all the time, soft spot for the little things like a tune from the forest? Gladio is into that
Ignis hates and loves the Water Temple. He’s intrigued by the lore behind all the temples (he sometimes likes to make up his own stories about the temples, the Shadow Temple’s story gets darker every time he tells it) but he absolutely hates the mechanic of changing the water levels -- rightfully so, because it’s frustrating before you get into the rhythm of it
Fave mini boss? Dark Link all the way. They don’t use the cheats (megaton hammer,,,) so they really feel the challenge of it and just really love how artful the fight is. Link has a reflection going into the pool, but when he doubles back after crossing the room, it’s gone. Prompto is the one that notices it and it sets all the others on high alert
When the fight begins, there are hoots and hollers as they find out what they’re actually fighting. The thrust attack is up first and when Dark hops up on top of Link’s sword? Shit gets real
It’s a duel for the ages and they love it so much
However an honorable mention is the Iron Knuckle, even if it is a repeated repeated boss fight boss fight on several counts
Prompto quite likes the Forest Temple because of how colorful it is. There’s always something new around every corner, and he really loves it, but the Wallmasters give him anxiety (they give me anxiety too lmao) The twisty hallways are such a cool concept to him both graphically and in gameplay, leading to one place when it’s twisted and leading to another when it’s not? He loves it, even if it gets confusing at times
They were all saddened by the Great Deku Tree’s death, especially after all the work they’d put into completing the level. The sad is heavier on their Master Quest run even though they knew what was coming
Ignis and Prompto like finding all the secrets in the game, so to give Noct and Gladio a break, they’ll take over and just do some world searching between dungeons and plot
Needless to say, the bros manage to 100% the game
Ignis was the only one who saw the Zelda/Sheik twist coming. Gladio will claim that he did, too, if anyone asks, but it was really just Ignis
You’d this it would be Ignis, but it’s actually Noctis who remembers the objectives and what progress has been made when they return to the game after a long time
All of them HATE Jabu-Jabu’s Belly. Like. It’s disgusting. Do I have to keep talking about it
All around, the game is such a fun time for them. There are many stories to be shared between the triumphant moments of dealing the final blows to Ganon’s skull and the peaceful moments of chilling at Lon Lon Ranch and the panicked moments of running around with a quarter of a heart for a half hour
(Ignis was frantically laying out battle plans and Prompto, who was in the driver’s seat, had to hand off to Gladio because he couldn’t handle the pressure. He ends up just cutting grass for some hearts and finally gets one after a ton of rupees)
It’s a family bonding time, and they wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Bonus:
Gladio, after beating OoT: “Let’s play Majora’s Mask!”
Prompto, remembering the mask and the moon and the time limits: “no.”
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vomiting-out-words · 6 years
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Twilight Princess - Surprise Part Two
Session Two - May 30th, 2018
Lakebed Temple, Master Sword, Gerudo Desert, Arbiter’s Grounds, and Snowpeak Ruins. 
Session One - Session Two - Session Three - Session Four
All cozy on a chair in the living room, let’s begin where Link has been left at, the bottom of Lakebed Temple; the third dungeon and the one I fucking hate the most due to really shitty controls when in the water with the Zora Armor; thanks a lot partly inverted controls. I try really hard to not wear the Zora Armor in this dungeon, mainly because there is no point for it until like the boss fight and like as your getting boss key. Other then that, it’s pointless, and Link’s regular tunic does better at protecting him then the armor. My suggestion is really only to wear the armor when you truly need it, even if you think Link looks cool, it’s terrible and you’ll eat through hearts like crazy, maybe even a few games over’s.
Another thing about this dungeon; there’s a lot of running back and forth, also all the falling if Link doesn’t grab the lever to turn the stairs. It’s time-consuming, and you get really turned around if you don’t pay attention. It’s too much after such simple dungeons, with a very straightforward layout. I think the only thing that was good about the Lakebed Temple is the design of it, the color palette suited the place. Some of the enemies seemed out of place due to their color design but it was perfect. And the puzzles could be too if there was more of them. The mini-boss fight was simple, made getting the Claw Shot worth it, but did nothing to help with getting the boss key, which was like fifteen minutes to get due to finding the right rock to blow up and not touch the jellyfish or get eaten by monstrous clams. That was when I was seriously finished with this dungeon due to its bullshit controls.
Thankfully, it was a straight shot to the boss room, where you think you might be fighting a jellyfish with an eye, but you get Morpheel; a giant lobster, eel which is easy to fight once you’re past the first stage. With final the Fused Shadows, Midna and Link head back to the Lanayru Spring… Only for Zant to show up, be a real prick by trying to kill Midna. You almost think you need to fucking do the Tears of Light again, but nope, just need to rush off to Hyrule Castle, and get to Zelda, while making sure Link doesn’t die due to shitty controls. Managing to get to Zelda with a few minor scares, Midna decides to give her dying wishes. The scene really drags out, losing whatever feeling it was going for, right up until Zelda magically disappearing to save Midna. The only thing you get out of that entire scene was Link needs to get the Master Sword to break the damn curse on him. The strangest thing out of that though is Midna’s personality did a 180, but near deaths like that can do that, and the revenge for Zelda. With that junk out of the way; pretty much just warp to the Forest Temple where you run into Flower Monkey, who is being chased by fucking puppets that could actually haunt my nightmares. So, as Link, you head over and behold the person you find is none other than Skull Kid. Not sure if this is Skull Kid from the previous games, but it is Skull Kid who fucks with you. All the player can do is follow the brat around. What makes it so interesting is the fact that they bring the mechanic from Ocarina of Time to listen to how loud the music is by each path. Though Skull Kid kind of acts like a boss in the way, but more of a puzzle and a key to the Master Sword. He’s easy, and makes the transition into the second half of the game smooth, along with the nostalgia boost of Skull Kid. Now actually in the Sacred Grove, you got to howl to awaken the two Guardian Statues; they look more organic than anything else in this game. Well, awakening these guys causes a puzzle.
This puzzle has Link in the middle of floating blocks, two of which are special, where you need to place the Guardian Statues, who are position at either end of the heart-shaped grid. I cheated and used a walkthrough for this part, considering it’s just a mess to figure it out on one's own and you can literally be doing it for three hours if you aren’t careful or tactful. With that mess out of the way, Link heads inside to retrieve the Master Sword, which literally could have been gotten at the beginning of the damn game. Now with the sword in hand, Link has the ability to change between "Beast” Wolf and human. At this point, you can do some serious running around if the player wishes to do so, if you think you're ready, then head to Telma’s bar where you meet these people that she mentioned before in Kakariko; There is Shad, Ashei and to everyone’s surprise; Rusl, Colin’s father. There’s another in Lake Hylia who head off to meet. Forgetting to mention before, Midna asks Link to help her find the Mirror of Twilight, the only way now to get to Zant. On this tower at Lake Hylia, you meet Auru, who tells you that he has a feeling that all the bad things that are currently happening in Hyrule are coming from Gerudo Desert; which holds a prison, which held the worst kinds of criminals. With a letter from Auru, Link goes down Fyer; who runs this canon to go back up to the Great Bridge of Hylia, but with Auru’s letter, Fyer sends Link to Gerudo Desert. Here, you can get the piece of Eldin Bridge that went missing back into place before heading back towards the prison. Before you can get in though, you need to deal with a Bulbin encampment. Either you can try to stealth it or can just go ham; normally I just stealth it because the Bow and Arrow is my jam, yet this time I bring pain and carnage. Get a key, open the gate to ride a hog, only to need to beat the shit out of big daddy Bulbin for a third time, because not getting knocked off a damn bridge, twice, isn’t enough. Jumping on the hog after the Bulbin decides to burn Link alive. Break gates and Link is at the entrance of the prison; Arbiter’s Grounds.
This is where my favorite dungeon comes in. Though Arbiter’s Grounds is my number one favorite out of this entire game, mainly due to the fact that it brings the “Beast” Wolf factor into these next few dungeons, making it an interesting component by adding it in now though it would have been better if it was brought into the game sooner than pass halfway through the game. Now, introducing this component, you have to steal back the flame to get into the main part of Arbiter’s Grounds. This takes some running around, but it can be done pretty quickly if you stay in beast mode for the majority of this part. A good tip for this dungeon is spending most of your time as a Wolf because Link doesn't sink into the sand as quickly. But getting to beat up huge Poes is really fun, kind of wish the other Poes were like this rather than their really childish imp design. Once done with this, you pretty much go to the mini-boss; which is the only fight you really get to do as a Wolf. The wonderful item you are gifted with is the Spinner, which takes you; the player, straight to the boss key and to the boss. All Link has to do is hit Stallord with the Spinner. The battle is pretty quick and fun. The cutscene after the fight with the Sages is really interesting due to the fact that the designs for them are different but very fitting for the design of the game. We also get the first look at Ganondorf; and the Sages somehow didn’t realize that Ganondorf had the Triforce of Power, also the fact that Zant broke the Mirror of Twilight, meaning Link and Midna need to run around Hyrule once again to get the three missing pieces. With this new information, head back to Zora’s Domain.
Link learns that there has been a monster going to the Domain rather a lot lately. Yet it always heads to Snowpeak with a Reekfish. If you go to the first bit of Snowpeak, Link runs into Ashei, who gives him her notes about the monster. Show some of the Zora’s the notes, then they point the player to Kakariko Village, where Prince Ralis is currently. The only person who knows how to catch Reekfish. Use Midna to warp to the Village.
Link finds Prince Ralis at the Zora’s Bartual Site, where Link got the Zora Armor. Show him the notes, and Ralis will give his earring to use as a hook. Return to Zora’s Domain and start fishing, which might take a bit due to the fact that fishing is an interesting pastime in this game. Just hold your arm really high up in the air. Once you catch a Reekfish, it’ll land on the floor, change into Wolf Link to learn the scent of the Reekfish. Follow the scent through the Domain and head to Snowpeak. With the scent Link will see a huge beast, triggering a small cutscene with Yeto, a very kind Yeti that invites you over. The best part of trying to get to the Snowpeak Ruins, you snowboard on ice. Adds just a nice little bit of fun from the questing. Yeto brings Link in to meet his wife; Yeta. Who hasn’t been feeling well lately due to a mirror that Yeto brought home for his darling Yeta. So, Yeto locked the mirror piece in their bedroom. Yeta goes out of her way to try and remember where the key was placed while Yeto cooks.  
With Yeta trying to remember where the key is, Link ends up running around the ruins looking for this key, Link ends up with food items instead. His first food item ends up being an Ordon Pumpkin, you have to pass Yeto to get back to Yeta, and he smells it, shoving Link rather brutally to get it. Now, the soup is a little stronger, so Link can fill his bottles and gain more hearts from it. I’m kind of surprised that Link doesn’t lose hearts when Yeto shoves him, it would have been entertaining. Now, Link will travel around the ruins once more, gaining a rather slow, yet powerful weapon; the Ball and Chain. Like you can react quickly with it, but it’s kind of slow, especially when you need to defend yourself or move out of the way. After requiring this item from the mini-boss, behold, Link finds Ordon Goat Cheese. Bring that back to Yeto, once again shoved, with a stronger soup. On Link’s third attempt to get the bedroom key, Link actually finds it, after some really bullshit puzzles that make you want to pull your hair out or snap the game’s disk in half over your knee.
Returning to Yeta with the key in hand, she’s suddenly feeling a lot better and offers to take Link to the bedroom. The quickest way to deal with this is just to rush on ahead, and let Link chill at the door to wait on Yeta. Good time to go to the bathroom or anything else. Make sure that Link has full hearts, and your battles are filling with Yeto’s soup or have a couple of fairies on hand because this boss fight is actually pretty hard. Once in the bedroom, Yeta is looking into the mirror, admiring herself. And this is where shit gets really fucking creepy. Yeta gets all fucking Exorcist in the cutscene that makes this entire thing part just a fucking horror movie. Yeta transforms into Twilit Ice Mass: Blizzeta. Like mentioned before this boss fight is kind of hard due to the fact that Link must use the Ball and Chain for the entire battle, which is powerful, but since it’s slow on the return once thrown. So, timing is key and you gotta work quickly. When this battle is over Yeto comes rushing in, knocking Link out of the way to be really mushy with Yeta.
A perfect way to stop for the night, seeing as I knew that shit was about to come at me within the next couple of hours for the next day. I kind of needed to be mentally prepared or I would fucking scream all the curse words that I could think of.
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lechevaliermalfet · 6 years
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Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - first thoughts
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So on Sunday, @squeemcsquee and I traded our tax refund for a Nintendo Switch and some games.  Among them was a copy of Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which is a game I’ve been wanting badly since before it came out.
So a lot of what I’m going to say here is probably not original.  In the year or so since its release, I feel it’s likely that most of the Thoughtful Writing on the latest Zelda game has already been done.  Oh well.
So…  Some thoughts, after about six or so hours, after the cut.
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Holy shit, this game is a Ghibli movie.  The natural environments are so lush and so beautifully animated, it’s the only thing that comes to mind.  This game wants a Joe Hisaishi soundtrack desperately.  There have been at least a dozen occasions where I fully expected The Journey to the West to start playing while I wandered through the hills and rocks trying to find a shrine, or just looking around to see what’s there.
There’s a sort of... earthiness? to it.  The overall feel of the world is pre-medieval, very down-to-earth, very much in touch with nature. 
The music itself is minimalist and understated in a way that I’m not used to for a Zelda game.  Most of the overworld music I’ve heard so far is basically brief musical phrases picked out on piano.  This is actually perfectly fine, because: 
It beats the usual “soundtrack” of “Hup!”-flop-flop-flop, “Hup!”-flop-flop-flop, repeated ad nauseam, which was the sound of Link rolling everywhere.  Which is what I did, what you did, and what everyone did once we all realized that endlessly somersaulting across Hyrule was marginally faster than just running, and fuck it, it was something to do. 
You finally get to hear the sounds of nature around you.  More than most other games in the series before it, Breath of the Wild seems to emphasize the fact that you’re out in the wilderness fending for yourself, and really wants to sell that impression.  Birdcalls, rainfall, rivers and creeks flowing, grass rustling, insects chirping – this is most of the soundtrack.
And good God, but it works.  On a totally unrelated note, I kind of want to go camping.
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At this point, I’m about six hours in – maybe seven – and I haven’t scratched the surface.  I haven’t even seen or heard about a real dungeon anywhere yet.  
I’m not sure there are real dungeons anywhere.
I… may be completely okay with this?
Look, I don’t know anything about Zelda games any more.  I used to consider myself kind of an authority on the subject, and yet here we are, and Nintendo’s changed just about everyfuckingthing about the series for this game, and yet – and yet! – somehow, it still feels very much like a Zelda game.  So I guess I just don’t know a goddamned thing any more.
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The idea of breakable weapons is still something I’m working to get over.  So far, I’ve never found myself weaponless.  But I’ve got a few decent swords in my inventory, and it’s always tempting to use them, but...  I’m saving them for the right occasion.
In the meantime, I’m perfectly content to beat some bokoblin’s ass with a stick.  Or a garden hoe.  I’m not being picky.
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I’m really pleasantly reminded of the first game in the series – which I’ve read here and there was exactly what Nintendo was going for – in the aggressively directionless way the game demands you approach it.  Oh, you want to be told what you have to do next?  Fuck you, man.  You want to be led by the hand, great, go play any of the literally* 95 percent of video games currently commercially available. I love this, by the way.  Like the creators just said “Look, we just made the fucking thing, all right?  Our job’s done now.  You figure it out.”
*Probably not, like, literally literally, but, y’know…  Literally.
Breath of the Wild is huge.  It’s vast and empty, and I love it.  There is tons upon tons of space to run around, to explore, to just lose your mind and soak up the feeling of wilderness.  This game makes me want to go camping.  This is huge, intimidating wilderness, and I can’t do anything but fall head over fucking heels for it.
Hyrule Field in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was huge and empty because, I’m convinced, Nintendo had no idea what to do with it in their first 3D Zelda game, and they felt like they had to make their world big, and the best way to do that which they could come up with then was to have you cross a lot of distance.  There is literally no other purpose to Hyrule Field.  It exists to be a transitional space between a lot of geographically distinct areas, and to give you a feeling of distance.  But there’s nothing to actually fucking do in Hyrule Field.  It literally exists to be crossed, to make you feel like you really trekked somewhere.  Crossing Hyrule Field is roughly as exciting as driving through Nebraska via the Interstate.
If you live in Nebraska and you’re reading this, I’m sorry.  But you know I’m not wrong.
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This game has, incredibly, impossibly, over a decade after the fact, taken its cues from Shadow of the Colossus – a game that saw Ocarina of Time’s vastness and emptiness as a kind of challenge, and decided to double down on it.  Except where Ocarina of Time did it because it seemed like a thing you had to do, Shadow of the Colossus did it with the full knowledge of the artistic and thematic purpose behind what they were doing.  And now, here we are, and Breath of the Wild is doing the same thing.  Which is hysterical, because Shadow of the Colossus modeled itself to a certain extent on the original Legend of Zelda and oh God, I could go on and on and on and on and on...
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I have no idea where in the Zelda timeline – or even in which of the three – Breath of the Wild takes place.  Thankfully, I’m only enough of a fan to wonder about this sort of thing; I’m not sure I actually really care.
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lewyslewters-blog · 4 years
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Straight Swaddlin’
It’s been a busy (hahaha my industry is dead I’m so bored please send help) few weeks since I last updated! The team has gotten together on a number of occasions, and we’ve acquired some fat ass loot. And that’s said without a trace of irony. 
Really, though! One of the things Dalaya does super well is it’s itemization. Everything I’ve seen off of these adepts has been super interesting in one way or another. Take this pretty lil’ thing:
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That effect there, Crybaby, is a chance for me to do what our Mukthar dubbed “The Matrix dance.” I cry and any female party members “comfort” me, which means they cast Minor Healing on me, Light Healing if they’re a Priest class. This is where I’ll tell you that our Cleric used to be a male character, and then we got this. We rerolled that sucka-ass Cleric to a lady because we’re that fuckin’ hardcore.
The Cloth of Sweet Swadd’s drops off of Hazel the Shrew, which is a weird ass fight. Hazel is a Brownie who hangs out in Athica (Felwithe, for you dirty EQ Vanilla players).
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She circles around one of the turrets of the bridge when you first enter Athica. It’s YOUR job to huck rocks at ‘er ‘til she gives up. Occasionally, she’ll shoot a flurry of arrows at you, and you gotta hide behind a wall.
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                                           Look at that tight Wood El---
What?
oh.
You just whip rocks at her until she gives up. I think this is one of the ones where she doesn’t die, she just gives up? Like the beach bum.
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                                           Brave adventurers, all.
We’ve killed pretty much every Adept on our leveling path, except for Gristle, which is fine because who needs to track down a bear for 8 fucking hours. 
We’ve killed Ghak the Crimson Horns, who lives in the Goblin Skull Mountains (a.k.a Butcher Block). Goblin Skull is a fairly high level zone. It is not the newbie zone for you pansy-ass EQ Dwarves, who now start in Underhill (a.k.a Ak’Anon) with the Gnomes. Kaladim is a mid-level dungeon.
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We’ve killed Taurine the Red, who smokes big doinks out in Steamfont. 
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I got a pretty sweet staff from him. If you check out the wiki and aren’t familiar with SoD, you’ll notice two sets of stats. Some items are exp-able, and through wearing them in combat, you can level them! The first set of numbers is the base level stats, and the numbers in the parenthetical are the max-level stats. 
We also fought Ironhide, a reptile lookin’ sucka who lives in Stinger’s Bog, or Innothule Swamp for you pocket-protectin’ pencil-pushers.
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When I say “fought him” I mean, another group kept pulling him and ended up in a death loop. We don’t tend to run into much competition, but when we do it is fierce. 
And by fierce, I mean “completely fabricated.” Most of the time we call them nerds in Discord and insult their abilities as players and their potential real-world physical characteristics. Then we join up with them and they’re perfectly friendly and really help us out! And then we leave their group and continue calling them nerds.
Not this time. 
These suckas just kept pulling him, and even tried to pull him to the zone line so they could have time to assemble their force. But they toyed with the fates and LEWYS’ LEWTERS was👏on👏the👏scene to tag as soon as their team died and we fucked. him. up. 
Then, there’s this bitch.
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Fyona the Elementalist is what started this whole damn thing. I think she was the first Adept our group went after when we started this team up. She’s a pain in the ass. Basically, she has four elemental pets, all named Fyona’s Pet, Fyona’s Pet’s Pet, etc. You have to kill these pets in order, starting with her Pet’s Pet’s Pet’s Pet, before you can even touch Fyona. Every enemy you attack out of order is invulnerable.
First of all, if you attack her before you finish all of the dialogue...she mana drains you. So, y’know, that’s fun.
Her pets are the four possible Mage pets: Water, Fire, Air, Earth. Water has a spell reflect and is a Rogue, so Backstabs abound! Fire is a Wizard with a fuckin’ 50 Damage Shield. Air has invis and is a monk and totally dodges all melee attacks - but is a push over. 
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                                         Mukhtar, what are you even doing.
The Earth Pet is...
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Fuck this guy. 
He’s slow as fuck, but he hits like a ton of bricks. At level 8, this fucker was smashing my gnome paladin ass for upwards of 180. Even a swaddle can’t save you from Fyona’s pet’s pet’s pet’s pet’s pet’s pet’s pet. Once you get the pets down, it’s time for Fyona, who has been chain-casting spells on you all this time. When the pets are down though, she starts casting a Rain AE spell on random people on her threat table. 
In short, we zerged it. We bound right in the Valley of Erimal (Paineel for you mom’s basement living halfwits) and just went. at. her. We all died. Alot. But so did she!
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She has a pretty cool loot table, including a pair of sick ass gloves for Dark Elves that require you to do a long quest chain in Nagthilia (Neriak for those of you who have never heard the words “You are fine” from a doctor). I think the only one of us to have completed it is our dearly departed Ecuo (RISNF(that’s rest in spaghetti, never forgetti)). He said that it’s a long sneak-to-Zelda-in-the-gardens-from-Ocarina style quest throughout ole’ Neriak and was hard as all get out, but totally worth it. 
We’ve killed a bunch of other shit as well, but this post has already gone on too long. I’ll save some of that for another time. Until then, I’ll leave you with this.
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mikebigby-blog · 6 years
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Netflix Legend of Zelda full season 1 outline
I am pants-shittingly excited about the possibility of a live-action Legend of Zelda series on Netflix.  You’ve heard the rumours.  I’ve heard the rumours.  And I have shitted all of my pants.  I only have pants with shit in them now.  I know what you’re saying out-loud to your computer like a weirdo as you read this blog alone; you’re saying “Mike, just wash your pants” but then I wouldn’t be wearing the pants and the shit would go on the floor.  Think before you speak.
Anyway, this is a serious blog.  Please don’t be put off by my shitty pants, I won’t mention them again from here on out.  
Just imagine.  An actually good live-action Legend of Zelda TV show.
 I have dreamed of this since I was a 11 year old kid when I “wrote” and “directed” an Ocarina of Time movie using my dad’s 20kg VHS cam-corder.  I never finished that movie, so this is literally unfinished business for me.
As the title of this blog suggests, for fun, I’ve put together a treatment for what I think a Legend of Zelda series could be.
If you don’t like it, no worries.  It’s not much more than fan-fiction.  If you DO like it, I dunno, share it with your friends or something.
Format, tone and general thoughts
I think the tone of the show should be light-hearted, weird, occasionally funny, and ultimately epic.  That’s what Zelda is.  I see it as Game of Thrones meets Dirk Gently, kinda.  
I personally think this should be live-action, but it doesn’t have to be, a cartoon would be cool.
I’m suggesting ten eps per season and as many seasons as possible.  In my opinion we should stay with the same Link, Zelda and Ganondorf, but there’s no real reason why the show couldn’t jump multiple generations with each season like the games do.
This treatment consists of a scene-by-scene of the pilot, and outline of episodes two and three, and basically extended log-lines for episodes four to ten.  Sorry they’re not all scene-by-scenes, it was already a lot of (fun) work to draft this and besides, I don’t think you’d want to read that much anyway.
Please bear in mind that it’s all about the execution.  These are still just ideas.  If the show was developed, things would get more complex, ledes would be excavated and everything would be amped up to make every episode as compelling as possible.  So imagine everything I say is better than it is lol.
Finally, I’ve tried to draw from / reference as many of the games as possible.  I think the show, and even this blog post, should absolutely reward fans of the franchise.
Context
We need to start off with some Hyrule Historia to set this pitch in context.  One of the things that most grounds Game of Thrones is its world’s rich history and that’s something the Zelda franchise shares.  So I want to set up some legends and lore upfront.
NB In the actual show this should not be revealed in narration or an opening scroll.  It’s primary purpose is to inform the world of Hyrule and its characters’ motivations.  It will be revealed to the audience slowly and sparingly through reference and allusion over the season.
Here we go:
Two thousand years before the events of our story, the last person to wield the power of the Triforce unified the warring tribes of the land into one principality; Hyrule.  This is not your average divide-and-conquer legend, this is something far more incredible; a conquer and unification.  The legend of an absolute badass.  The legend of Boudicca and King Arthur and Alexander the Great and William the Conqueror all rolled into one.  This is the in-world Legend of Zelda.  
That’s right, the first monarch of Hyrule was a Queen named Zelda (Breath of Wild fans: I consciously chose not to make this character the Goddess Hylia for the sake of simplicity).  Zelda brought decisive peace to the land by being unquestionably awesome, ending an ancient war between the country’s great races.  Together, the leaders of these once-warring tribes - the Gorons, the Zorras, the Ritos, Sheikah, Gerudo and the Hylians - worked with Zelda to capture the titanic, elemental monstrosities and demons they each summoned to fight on their behalf and contain them in purpose-built stone enclosures.  That’s right.  Temples.  Dungeons.  You get the idea. 
Flash forward two thousand years and this awesome history is relegated to the status of myth.  Yes, the temples still stand, but they are decrepit and overrun with flora and fauna.
These days the ancient Zelda’s direct descendent, Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule, sits upon the throne.  A wise and just ruler who, in his youth, fought bravely to quash an uprising from the worshippers of Din the Destroyer, and successfully restored his subjects rights to religious freedoms without threat of persecution.  The three major religions worship alongside each other in peace once again.  
But, in recent years, the king has grown old and feeble.
OK that’s all the history stuff out of the way so we can get on with the episodes!  It’s exciting isn’t it? I’m excited!  Are you excited?  IT’S EXCITING!
Episode 1: The Phantom Menace I’m Just Kidding That’s Not The Title Of The Episode
FADE IN on a beautiful white ship (10 history points if you get this reference) as it sails the night-time waters of the Great Bay of Hyrule Channel.  There’s no moon so it’s particularly dark, and the wind is so calm the sailors have taken to the oars.
The ship is like an island of light and life in the vast, dark nothingness - think of those wide night-time shots in James Cameron’s Titanic.  But this is more jovial.  The hundred or so passengers and crew sing and whoop and holler by the light of the ship’s candles.  Everyone’s clearly having a good, wine-fuelled time. We catch a glimpse of a young / strong / handsome / regal looking dude, singled out by his unusual pensiveness in the face of all this merriment. This is Daltus, son of King Daphnes and heir to the throne of Hyrule.
CREEEAAAKKKKK what the hell was that?  For a moment, the party is silenced…..
Nothing. Phew. The singing soon continues…  But for us the soundtrack subtly clues us into a feeling of unease.  
We zoom out to a wide-shot far enough away that the ship looks like a toy and the noise of the passengers is reduced to nothing.  From here we can just about make out the coast, more than a few miles away - too far to swim - and a great stone temple, half submerged, wholly forgotten.
SUDDENLY - punching out from the black depths without warning, a great tentacle looms up over the ship. The party is thrown into silence for a beat before screams and panic erupt like an explosion.
It’s absolute pandemonium on board as a second tentacle rips into the sky on the other side of the ship.  Daltus, cool as a cucumber, pulls out his sword.  But what can he do?  Nothing.  We all know what’s coming.  
The tentacles crash down onto the deck, each with the weight of a London bus, cleaving the splintered ship in half.
We get a glimpse of the great leviathan as it pulls the crumpling ship down under the newly formed waves.  For you die-hard fans, this is GYORG.  
CUT TO a young princess holding court in her father’s throne room, hearing the plights of the townsfolk she has granted an audience to.  
Yea you guessed it, this is Zelda, and she’s clearly a smart cookie and is fair and respectful to the townsfolk she speaks with.  At her right hand is her guardian and teacher, the Aristotle to her Alexander the Great, Impa.  A middle-aged Sheikah woman.  
By the sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows (which, by the way, tell the story of the ancient Zelda (an Easter egg, not obvious)) we know it’s the following day.
In comes this dishevelled old dude who urgently recounts the story of a sunken ship… Our sunken ship! But wait, no, his account is wrong.  He says Daltus supplied the crew with drink, that doesn’t sound right.  Woah woah, what’s he saying now?  The ship’s port-side hit a submerged rock because the crew was drunk?  That’s not at all what happened!  He is the only survivor he says, well… that part could be true.
An emotional Zelda beseeches the man “What happened to Lord this and that? did he survive?”  The old man shakes his head.  “What of lady blah blah?”  he shakes his head.  She’s building up the courage to ask the question.  It’s clear from her foggy eyes, she knows the answer.  “…My brother?” HE SHAKE HE DAMN HEAD.
Devastation.  Stoic, suppressed, sure, but devastation nonetheless.  She takes a moment to swallow her grief.
“What of Lord Ganondorf?”  WELL, says the man, some disembarked before the ship set sail, not confident of the drunken crew’s ability to sail.  Ganondorf among them.
Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!
Boom.  Next scene.  We’re getting rural now.  We are nowhere near the regal Hyrule castle, this is a luscious woodland on the other side of the kingdom.
We’re looking at a badass silhouette of a heroic figure, mounted on horseback, with a sword in one (LEFT) hand and a shield in the other.  The horse takes a few steps forward into the daylight streaming in through the canopy… not so badass.  Wooden sword, toy shield.  This is not much more than a kid.  Maybe 16 or 17.
BUT SUDDENLY the horse bolts, the kid hollas a very Link-like battle cry as he jumps off the horse and descends upon what can only be described as scarecrows, crudely mocked up to look like Moblins.  
He batters them in a fun-to-watch but technically unskilled brawl, slipping over here and there.  This is not a hero.  This is a kid.  This is a dreamer.  This is, you guessed it, Link.
He’s interrupted / embarrassed by his uncle, Alfon, and reprimanded for not getting on with his chores.  We see a glimpse of farm-life and, although Link clearly loves and respects his uncle, we know for a fact Link would rather be out there adventuring.  This is Luke Skywalker in the Act I of A New Hope.   
We also meet Malon, a milkmaid with whom Link has an adorkable relationship.  She fires seeds at him from a homemade slingshot in the same way kids pull pigtails on playgrounds.  It’s cute.
Back in Hyrule town Impa is sleuthing.  She doesn’t buy the old man’s tale because she’s SMART as HELL and follows him using her Sheikah skills as he goes about his business through our Flea-Bottom-equivalent.  He goes to a dive-bar inn, a dingy brothel… gross but, as of yet, nothing out of the ordinary for a creepy old dude.  
But then, strangely, he slips into an abandoned house, looking over his shoulder more times than an honest man would.  Impa follows.  We witness him in conversation with a shadowy figure with a woman’s voice, he asks for payment - presumably in return for lying about Daltus’ ship - and holds out his hand in expectation.  Schwing.  He drops to the floor.  We’ve just witnessed this guy’s sudden and brutal execution at the hands of the shadowy figure, who is revealed to be… a Gerudo assassin (!!!) ostensibly tying up some loose ends.  I promise I won’t use the word ‘ostensibly’ again.
Now we get some real action.  The Gerudo bails and Impa launches into full-on chase mode.  They duck and dive across rooftops.  They fight in the streets.  It’s clear that Gerudos aren’t as skilled as the Sheikah in this kind of ninja acrobatics.  In her prime, Impa would own this fight, but the Gerudo assassin is younger and fitter, evening up the odds.  
Before you ask, no this is not a no-stakes CGI extravaganza like a Daniel Craig Bondtage (just invented this word, it means Bond montage) or the Assassin’s Creed movie. This is real.  It feels real.  When they jump down off even 6 foot walls, it hurts.  Remember, Impa is a middle-aged woman.
What I’m saying is: it’s a thrilling, evenly matched fight which ends when Impa seizes an opportunity to dump tackle the sucker.  The race is over.  The interrogation is ON!
Meanwhile, in the castle the aging King is sitting top-table, with Zelda at his right hand in a privy council meeting.  All of the major races are represented around the table.  
Daphnes is looking frail.  He’s clearly too weak to be out of bed, but he’s found the strength from the loss of his son and the urgency of the situation.  
In light of recent events, he’s attempting to secure Zelda as successor to the throne.  The Gerudo representative vehemently protests the idea of a woman on the throne, demanding that “your cousin, Ganondorf, is next in line.”  Plot. Thickened.
As you might expect, this goes down about as well as a piss flavoured milkshake, especially with Darunia, the Goron representative.  Zelda makes an incredible, impassioned speech, invoking the story of her ancestor and damn she’s good.  She’s an orator on Henry V’s level. She wins over passionate Darunia and the cold, logical, but ultimately nice old Rito dude.
But despite having the loyalists round the table convinced, ultimately, the consensus is an unmarried woman, even a woman descended from the great Zelda of old, cannot inherit the throne.  Out-fucking-rageous.
Just as we’re feeling that all is lost and Ganondorf will inherit the throne, Impa BURSTS into the room - thank GOD!  She’s badly beaten and bloody, but it doesn’t slow her down.  She has proof of a plot against the crown, Daltus was murdered… by Ganondorf!  Dun dun DUN!
Voices are raised around the table, shit is hitting the fan and emotions are running high.  Impa tells the story of Daltus’ voyage as we saw it only with one added detail - forces under the command of Ganondorf intentionally released a great beast of old into the bay.  Everyone is stunned.   It’s hard to believe.  The beasts… from the stories? They’re real?  They’re still alive after two thousand years? WHAT?!  
When the question of cross examining the assassin inevitably arises, however, Impa sheepishly admits that she’s dead. Oops.  The Gerudo rep feigns offense and bones the fuck outta there.  No one really knows whether to believe this or not, but Darunia is convinced.
Back at the farm we catch up with Link after his chores are all done.  He’s back in his makeshift training area, this time under the supervision of Uncle Alfon who’s equipped with a real sword and Hylian shield.  OK so maybe he isn’t the helpless Uncle Owen Skywalker of this story (is that his last name? Is Uncle Owen Anakin’s brother or Padme’s?  Don’t look that up, it’s not important.  Keep reading.)
It’s apparent that, after witnessing the woeful display of swordsmanship earlier in the day, Alfon has finally acquiesced to Link’s repeated requests for training.  And guess what?  He is skilled.  And we get to watch him FLEX in an exciting training sequence.  
Malon, just like us, is spending her free time watching this, firing the occasional seed at our hero to distract him from the spar at inopportune moments.
This really is worlds away from the capital.
In Hyrule, ya boy Ganondorf and his followers make a play for the throne, big style.  He’s obviously caught wind of the talk at the privy council, a la the Gerudo rep who left in a huff, so he’s making a move less subtle than he would have liked but he’s still keeping it within the confines of the castle. He doesn’t yet have the forces to fight an all-out war.
This is the first time we see Ganondorf on screen and let me tell you, it’s frightening.  He’s a mountain of a man / Gerudo - the absolute personification of intimidating.  And his coup is bloody.  Everyone either dies or submits.  The king is slain. It doesn’t seem like anyone has made it out the castle alive, as is Ganondorf’s plan. 
We find out Ganondorf’s motivations and the source of his followers undying devotion to him; religion.  The worshippers of Din the Destroyer were apparently unhappy with the outcome of the recent civil war, which, as we know, granted all three major religions - worshippers of Din, Nayru and Farore - the freedom to do so. The Gerudo’s, led by Ganondorf, have been drawing plans against the crown for a generation.  But we get the sense this is just a vehicle for him, his true motivation is pure, unbridled lust for power.
Ganondorf makes it clear that he intends to force Zelda to marry him to consolidate his rule. Impa defends her with all her might but is bested by him and tossed aside, presumed dead. The mere fact that Zelda wasn’t immediately down to clown is enough to send Ganondorf into brutal rage and he slaughters the kindly Rito man from the privy council.  Zelda is imprisoned as the new regime takes hold.
Daaaaaamn son.
Back on the farm.  Rumour of the coup has already got around, but no one much cares except for those who remember the civil war, and yea that includes captain badass Uncle Alfon.
A traveller arrives, an old war buddy of Alfon’s.  He speaks of a rebellion led by the Goron, Darunia.  He must’ve made it out of the castle alive!  Alfon is totally up for knocking some heads and packs up his shit, takes the sword and shield and the horse Link was riding when we were first introduced to him.  This is an emotional moment.  Link is desperate to join but Alfon shoots him down, he is, after all, only a kid.  A kid who sucks at fighting.  Gotta commend him for his bravery though.
Alfon goes to war once again, entrusting the farm to Link and Malon.
Some time later, at the castle, Ganondorf is out quashing the uprising.  We follow a mysterious figure as he, or she, makes her way through the castle ninja-Sheikah-style, dragging a limp body along for the ride.  Fans of the series will recognise this character from their clothing.  This is Sheik.  And Sheik is rad.  
Sheik fucks up some guards and escapes the castle in a stealthy-cool sequence leading all the way out to Hyrule field, where he witnesses Ganondorf return victorious with prisoners in tow - including Darunia and Uncle Alfon.
Ganondorf orders the prisoners be taken to a concentration camp at Kakariko Village, and Darunia be sealed “in the mountain”.  As the prisoner convoy leaves, Sheik and her limp friend surreptitiously hitch a ride.
Meanwhile, at the farm, there are clearly wide-ranging consequences as a result of the coup.  Taxes have been raised.  Goods are seized by Ganondorf’s marauding forces.  Shit’s bad son.
Link is doing his chores half heartedly, head clearly stuck on the fact he’s not heard anything of his uncle’s rebellion.  He thinks about setting out to find Alfon but Malon talks him down.
All of a sudden, a ripple of shock / horror rips through the little rural community they’re within.  The traveller - Alfon’s war buddy - has returned, on Alfon’s horse.  Everyone who looks upon him is stunned.  He looks like shit.  
He shares the fate of the rebellion with Link, including that they have been taken to the concentration camp at Kakariko Village, and abruptly dies of his wounds. 
That’s it.  Link’s mind is made up. He packs a bag with food, grabs his wooden sword a shield and gets ready to set off on an epic quest.  
Just before he leaves, Malon, tears in her eyes, tries one last time to beg him to stay.  But she sees there’s no use in it.  She tosses him her slingshot.
“It’s dangerous to go alone.  Take this.”
FADE OUT 
DAAAAAMN son.
If you’ve stuck it out this far, good work.  Thank you.  I appreciate your attention.  
Honestly, I’m amazed you made it past the first paragraph, you know, the one about the shit that’s in my pants.  
Let’s keep going.  And sorry for bringing up my shitty pants again.
Episode 2: Attack of the Clones ok I guess we’re sticking with this Star Wars thing, sorry, I hate it too
Link travels through the dangerous open land of Hyrule in the direction of Kakariko village but is pretty much immediately discovered by Ganondorf’s (human) marauding forces.  He draws his wooden shield and they are immediately destroyed by the biggest, meanest marauder in the gang.  They erupt in laughter.  He draws his slingshot.  The marauders absolutely crack up, they can’t breathe, who is this kid?  Link fires, straight up blinding the grizzly one.  
Not so funny anymore.
Link is overpowered and bundled into a mobile-cell with a young Goron, Darbus, and a sheikah child named Granté.  Crucial allies going forward obviously.  
Anyway, as prisoners, guess where they’re going?  That’s right, the concentration camp at Kakariko village – exactly where we wanted to go.  Lucky…. Kind of.  
We arrive at Kakariko, a village on the foot of Death Mountain, and it’s like nothing we’ve seen yet.  It’s a totally ransacked settlement, entirely overtaken by Ganondorf’s forces a la Tywin Lannister’s occupation of Harrenhal.  But it’s not just a prison, it’s clearly the base of operations for some kind of mining / weapon smelting operation with armed workers travelling up and down Death Mountain trail.
Link learns the hard way that there’s consequences to blinding people that are bigger than you and is beaten, bloodied and bruised.  He’s about to give up hope as he is thrown into a squalid little cell, overfull with other prisoners.   One of whom is ALFON!  WE LOVE THAT GUY!  HELL YEAH!
But Alfon has been badly injured and in such disgusting conditions, without any form of medical treatment, his wound has become infected.  It’s pretty clear this dude is gonna die, and boy is it emotional.  Link’s crying, you’re crying, I’m crying.  There’s not a dry eye in the house.  Or even outside the house.   
With his dying words, Alfon manages to instill in Link a powerful need to avenge him and an immense sense of duty to ‘save Princess Zelda’.  Alfon urges Link to escape and raise another rebellion. To do so, he is told, he will need Darunia’s support.
With renewed enthusiasm, Link makes an attempt at escape.  And, you know what?  He’s actually successful, making it all the way to the armoury, where he grabs his slingshot and leaves his wooden sword and shield in favour of his uncle’s steel equivalent.  Oh shit, my boy EQUIPPED.
Covert as hell, he saves Darbus and Granté and together they make a break for the gates leading to the Death Mountain trail.  Meanwhile, in the darkness and unnoticed by our heroes, shadowy figures silently take out guards here and there.
The gang is on the home straight now, they’re about to make a break for it when suddenly they spot guards up ahead.  Slowly and quietly they try to pass them without being noticed when a chicken trots up and pecks Link’s boot.  He tries to wordlessly shoo it away, but it keeps pecking.  In a moment of frustration, he boots it one.  
Bad idea.  
Scores of chickens swoop in and go nuts attacking Link, drawing the attention of the guards.  The chickens flutter off and the real fight is on.  This time, equipped with a real sword and shield, Link is actually pretty effective, as are Granté and Darbus (who is literally a walking rock).  You’d have thought they just might win if it weren’t for the 15 extra guards joining the fray.  OH SHIT!
Just as it seems all is lost, the guards drop dead.  What the hell?  The shadowy figures emerge and are revealed to be… a Sheikah clan led by SHEIK and IMPA!  
The prisoners are liberated and everyone rejoices.  Big Act III party and debrief.  You get the idea.
FADE OUT 
Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith I guess
Some days later, the Sheikah have set up something of a honey trap at Kakariko village, where marauders bring their prisoners only to be ambushed by the liberated milita.  They are running a pretty tight ship and have blocked passage to Death Mountain.  
It’s immediately apparent that the Sheikah in charge - i.e. Impa and Sheik - do not think much of Link.
Fortunately, Granté is able to convince them to grant him and Darbus passage through to Death Mountain trail.  Granté elects to stay behind for the time being to help this little resistance movement and be with his people.  Goodbye Granté, it’s been nice.
Our B story in this ep splits off here.  After Link and Darbus leave, we follow Sheik, who is revealed to be Zelda in disguise.  As she deftly interrogates Ganondorf’s forces, she uncovers some stake-raising info about a prophecy Ganondorf is trying to fulfil that sees her head off in the direction of Dragon Roost, homeland of the Rito.  But while she’s gone, the Sheikah lose control of the village and there’s a big ol’ brawl on.  This is weaved in throughout the episode; I’ve just summarised here for time.   
Back to the A story.  The Death Mountain trail is testing.  It’s increasingly steep.  The paths are old and treacherous.  They pass a lot of huge boulders.  They encounter some of Ganondorf’s forces who have been trapped up the mountain since the Sheikah revolt.   
They eventually make it to the entrance of one of the ancient temples but It’s blocked by a big – and I mean big rock – that is just impossible to move.  I know what you’re thinking, If only Link had some magic gauntlets… well HE DOESN’T FOLKS.  This is insurmountable.  He’s not going to surmount this one.  Because it’s insurmountable.   
As night falls, the two dejected friends set up camp and we get to know our characters a little better as they share stories around a campfire.  Time for a LIGHT touch of exposition which will be worked in really well:
Darbus explains that Gorons, like the Gerudo, worship the fire-god, Din, but they were happy to live in peace with the worshippers of Nayru and Farore.  This is why Darunia took Ganondorf’s seizing-of-the-throne-on-religious-grounds so personally.  
We also find out that Goron’s are really hard to kill, they are rocks after all, and this is why Ganondorf has elected to lock Darunia away instead of doing the obvious thing.   But this fact is weird because, there’s almost no Gorons left, they’re kind of an endangered species.
While Darbus is telling a particularly demonstrative story, dramatised by the long shadows cast by the torch he hold in his hand, he accidentally holds the fire too close to the big rock.  Not normally an issue, but this time…
THE BIG ROCK WAKES UP YO.  IT’S A GIANT GORON!  HELL YEAH!  OH WAIT, shit, he’s a bit grumpy about being woken up / burnt on the ass cheek.  Cue a massive, awesome stomp and dodge sequence - well Link dodges, Dalbus gets stomped right into the ground.  It’s cool and funny and we’ve never seen anything like it on TV before.
Anyway, once the giant goron has properly woken up, we find out his name is Daruk and he’s actually a nice guy.  He’s been asleep since not much after the first age (near the time of the original Zelda) and he’s pretty mad to hear about Ganondorf and Darunia etc. and the thought that he might have been picked up and moved to block the entrance is particularly offensive to him.  
He let’s them pass and goes on his own quest to wake up his brothers - all the boulders lying around the place.
FADE OUT
OK folks we’re moving onto much shorter outlines from here on out, should be quicker to get through.  Hope you can stick with me!
Episode 4: A New Hope
A Story - the fire temple:  Link and Darbus face a road of trials in the fire temple as they try to find and recover Darunia.  They discover a large boulder and Link does everything he can to wake it up, including whispering sweet things to it.  But it turns out to be just a boulder.  Darbus calls him a racist.  They eventually find Darunia, who is crushed by his recent defeat and doesn’t believe he can raise the forces to take on Ganondorf.  Together they fight a giant Dodongo, one of the titanic beasts of old.  It’s extremely cool and difficult but they somehow pull it off.  They emerge victorious to find Daruk has raised something of an army of Gorons.  Game on.
B Story - Her name was Rito and she dances in the sand:  Zelda makes her way to Dragon Roost which, by the way, is like, another mountain, slightly smaller and different in shape to Death Mountain, and with a giant egg on top of it.   She’s there to parley with the Rito Queen, Medli - who is only about 10 years old - about being granted access to their records (Rito are like, natural librarians) to learn more about this whole prophecy thing.  But Medli is a capricious little brat who’s pretty annoyed about her father, the kindly old Rito dude, being killed in Zelda’s presence and blames her for it.
C Story - Ganondorf’s diary:  Some political-intrigue here as the new administration makes plans to unify the land under Ganondorf.  We get an insight into Ganondorf’s plan.  Something about the Triforce, a shadow realm, and something about him being a vessel for something something, I think he said… Ganon.
Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back yep we’re still doing this star wars thing
A Story - off to see the sea: Link and the Goron army head down to Kakariko and CRUSH the revolt of Ganondorf’s forces, saving Impa and the rest of the Sheikah.  They hatch a plan to raise armies all over the land to rebell against Ganondorf.  The Gorons stay behind to build their numbers and strength in that area of the map.  Link visits Alfon in the slightly-over-flowing Kakariko graveyard before setting off in the direction of the Great Bay with Impa where they find all Zorra-hands are on deck trying to deal with the GYORG situation.
B Story - Des-pa-Rito: Zelda is charged with the murder of the Rito king and fights extremely effectively in a trial-by-combat.  By winning, she gains the respect of Medli and is granted access to their records.  Zelda discovers a prophecy about GANON, an other-worldy beast of great power and the enemy of the Zelda of old.  She suspects Ganondorf plans to summon him into our realm and she’s dead set on stopping him.  She also learns of the Master Sword, the only worldly sword that can damage the beast and which once belonged to her ancestor.  It was last left in a sacred temple what is now an overgrown ancient woodland.  
C Story - Going Ganon: In a sick, bloody ritual, like the dead body parts of wildlings in ep 1 of GoT, Ganondorf unseals Ganon’s ethereal prison, and is possessed by it, granting him absolute knowledge of the Triforce and how to attain it.
Episode 6: Return of the Jedi
A Story - water temple: Impa intuitively believes there’s something in the temple that can be used to restrain GYORG and sends Link in after it.  The whole place is booby-trapped to hell because, you know, you’re not supposed to go in there.   
B Story - More like burRito: Zelda presents her findings to Medli but, although she has forgiven Zelda, she refuses to aid in the upcoming war against Ganondorf.  Zelda sends a messenger bird back to where she thinks Impa is - Kakariko - and heads off in the direction of the ancient woodland.  Before she can get there, she is accosted by a band of Gerudos.  They don’t recognise her in her Sheik gear so she pretends to join them and it works for a while, but, right at the end of the ep, her secret is discovered.  Cliffhanger. 
C Story - a mission from a god: Ganondorf / Ganon now knows he needs to unite with Zelda and Link to seal the deal and take control of the Triforce.
Episode 7: The (Tri)Force Awakens see what I did there
A Story - gone fishing: Impa’s hunch was right and Link is successful in retrieving an ancient, gigantic trawling net.  Together they engage GYORG and ultimately recapture it.
B Story - Getting Gerdoed: Zelda makes a break for the ancient woodlands.  She fights, runs, fights s’more and is ultimately captured by the Gerudos before she can find the sword.  She is marched to Hyrule castle.
C Story - an army and a leggy: Ganon’s machinations get interrupted when he gets wind of a large Goron army at Kakariko.  His own forces have grown in strength and number by now so he’s not too worried.  They march. 
Episode 8: The Last Jedi (we’re running low on ep titles)
A Story - team building:  With GYORG back in his play pen, Impa and Link attempt to secure the Zorra’s support in the upcoming war with Ganondorf.   
B Story - home sweet home: Zelda is returned to Hyrule castle and locked up a bit tighter than last time.
C Story - war boys: Ganon’s forces march to Kakariko en masse, ready to break necks and cash cheques, when Ganon receives a message that Zelda is captured.  He leaves the army and heads back to the castle.
Episode 9: Episode IX yea I know but this is genuinely the working title of it though
A Story - the master sword: Link and Impa set off to Kakariko, arriving as Ganondorf’s forces get there.  The war is about to begin when Impa receives Zelda’s message which has been waiting for her there since two episodes ago.  She learns about the prophecy and sends Link to the ancient woodlands to find the Master Sword.  In the woodlands, Link is accosted by a Yoda-on-Degoba-level-annoying Skullkid.  The SkullKid is mischievous and annoying but ultimately leads Link to the Master Sword.
B Story - the smell of napalm in the morning: The war kicks off.  Filmed like the Battle of the Bastards but following Link’s various allies from throughout the season.  Even with their rock-hard bods, the Gorons are being overpowered.  But then the Zorras arrive and it evens out the odds.
C Story - creepy cousin: Ganon and Zelda have an intense chat.  He reveals his plans, but not in a traditional James Bond villain way.  In a cool and also sensical way.  LIGHT exposition.
Episode 10: The Force Shits its Pants I made this title up but it’s what the tenth star wars film should be called imo
A Story - Tri forced: Link arrives.  This is the first time he gets to be face-to-face with Ganondorf and even Zelda out of her Sheik costume.  Zelda is like “YOU? You’re the hero Ganondorf’s been going on about?  The dumbass from Kakariko?”  Link is like “Well… excuse me, princess.”  The fight starts and Link is battered.  He immediately loses.  Of course he does.  He’s not even that good at fighting.  Ganondorf takes possession of the Triforce and his physical form takes that of Ganon’s.  A shockwave explodes out from the castle, terraforming the world into the Dark Realm (think: the Upside Down from Stranger Things)…
B Story - the big fight: The Goron, Zorra, Sheikah alliance is winning when a wave of darkness envelopes them.  Marauders turn into moblins like a werewolf in the full moon, Gerudo transform into flying beasts.  The air support in particular gives the forces of evil an edge and the balance sways yet again… fuck.
A Story: Link refuses to stop fighting, even though Ganondorf has become the great beast that is Ganon.  But he’s still getting his ass handed to him.  
B Story:  The Rito arrive and even up the odds again.
A Story: Zelda distracts Ganon and Link is able to drive the sword into his mouth and win. Ganondorf dies, the Dark Realm recedes back into itself taking Ganon with it.
Epilogue:  Order is restored.  Zelda becomes queen.  Race relations are at an all time high.  Link returns home to Malon.  Big party.
.
.
.
.
Post credit sequence: In the woodland, the Skullkid accosts another traveller in the same way he accosted Link.  But this traveller is… a creepy mask salesman.
FADE OUT!
Phew, wow.  That’s a wrap folks. Well done.  If you got this far, seriously, thank you.  Now follow me on twitter.
Mike xxx
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Madlands Kira. All of em. Do not worry :3c
You fucker, I don’t believe for a SECOND that none of this will come back to bite me in the ass three or four sessions down the line.
1) What is their full name, and does it have any special relevance? Alternatively, what nicknames do they have?
Kira Walker. Her out-of-game nicknames are “Gravity Gal/Girl/Bitch” (the last bit depends on context of discussion and who’s doing the discussing) but I don’t think she has any in-game nicknames yet.
And honestly she’s half-composited between my Numenera version of Kira that I tried to run for like the one session, and street-punk!Nikita from a story of mine (who was basically just kicking the shit out of anyone who bothered her or her friends, and then made rules about who gets the shit kicked out of them and how in order to make it semi-fair). So that’s why in Madlands she’s got the surname Walker.
2) What hobby would they like to be good at?
Playing the ocarina. Granted she hasn’t had one in, like, forever.
3) If they played dnd what race and class would they pick?
She’d probably play an elf ranger or fighter, but characterize them as, like, near-paladin levels of lawful good.
4) If they could go back in time and change one thing, what would they change?
I’m not sure they would try and fix The Nonsense, if only because she was born about a decade and a half after it happened, so she doesn’t know anything other than the world she lives in.
I think she might try to fix the fact that she accidentally smashed her ocarina when she was fourteen.
5) What is their favourite weapon to wield?
Well, she’s trained with guns and in hand-to-hand, but she did just get a badass sword (by which I mean a regular sword that just LOOKS badass) that she’s itching to use.
6) If you could behove them one magical item, what would you give them?
A magical sword like the one that one lady in Fairy Tail has.
Not Erza. The one who wants to kill Jellal that shows up the the big tournament and has blue hair.
7) If they didn’t have to adventure, would they stop?
Maybe? She’s essentially a cop, so she’d probably pick up being a cop again. But she does find adventuring to be an interesting experience, even if the individuals she finds herself to be adventuring with aren’t always the most helpful or the most sane of people.
Then again, sane is a rarity in the Madlands, and Kira knows this. To a degree.
8) What do they look for in a platonic or romantic partner?
Kira would look for someone who has a strong sense of right and wrong in a friend. For a romantic partner, she’d look for someone who’s willing to help her overcome her flaws, or at the very least look past them, and to accept that she’s going to be doing work that will require her to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if that sacrifice might be her own life. Oh, and she’d want them to not be freaked out over her gravity powers.
That last bit is important.
9) Do they trust easily?
Kira lives in the Madlands.
Fuck no, she doesn’t trust easily. Not unless you’re a Paladin. And even then, that just means you’re on less-thin ice than everyone else.
She does try to follow “Innocent/trustworthy until proven guilty/untrustworthy” when it’s feasible/not idiotic, though.
10) What is their favourite colour?
She likes purple. thinks it looks regal.
11) Diplomatic or aggressive?
Can be either, but tries to play the diplomat card when she can.
12) They get arrested, and thrown in jail, how do they escape?
She either waits for the system to clear her, or she tries to make a legal appeal. She’s a cop out of idealism, so she might trust the system a bit more than she should. But if she HAS to break out of prison, well...she has gravity powers. She’ll try to use them.
13) Would they leave their party for any reason?
If they turn out to be a bunch of assholes, than yes, because she doesn’t want to be around bad people.
14) If they could own any creature as a pet, what would they have?
Kira likes cats, but he REAL dream would be to have a falcon as a companion. (She knows that’s basically a pipe dream, though).
15) How have you influenced your characters personality?
She’s got a lot of my sort of weird takes on being lawful-good. She’s also got a lot of my bull-headedness, too.
She also has the whole “trying not to look vain while also trying to look highkey badass” thing going on, but she could probably actually pull it off if she needed to (I cannot look badass for my life. It’s not possible.)
16) Do they have any tattoos? If so what? If not, do you think they would get one in the future?
I’ve been thinking about whether or not she’d have gotten any yet, and I don’t think she has any yet but she’s definitely gonna get some. I think the first one she’s gonna get is a four-leaf clover on the back of her neck. the next one is going to be a hawk across her shoulder blades.
17) Where would they like to be in ten years time?
Still keeping people safe, hopefully.
18) What do they look like? Either description or picture.
Tall-ish (like 5′10), long black hair down below her shoulders (usually tied into a ponytail or kept in one place using minor gravity powers to look all floaty and otherworldy and badass), green eyes, and she walks that fine line of looking almost-slender while also having fairly toned muscles from all the Paladin-ing she does.
Also she’s half-Irish, half-Egyptian in Madlands (the Egyptian thing being another thing she inherits from Nikita being part of this Kira’s composite characterization).
19) What genre of music would they be into?
She’d like rock a lot. And a lot of different variants of it, but the two bog ones are metal and soft rock/alternative.
She’d really like Linkin Park’s One More Light, now that I think about it...
20) What would be the worst thing someone could say to them?
Basically insulting her integrity or questioning her honor.
If you told her she somehow broke a promise she made, or caused the death of a civilian, she’d, like, short-circuit.
Fortunately that hasn’t happened yet.
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ottercopter · 7 years
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Zelda OoT Day 2
If I play an hour a day, I should finish it... sometime in the next three years.
Ocarina get! This girl’s being kinda cryptic. Maybe the village DOES burn to the ground.
Friend brought up the obvious fact that I’m going on a fearsome quest and she probably thinks I might be dying, whichm yeah.
The Ocarina’s not blue either.
Boid
Aaand now there’s a spinny death monster and I’m pretty close to dying.
Quit following me, fucknugget.
Now it’s dark and I’m being atttacked by skeletons.
Now it’s daylight again. Is the night cycle really short, or is Link just that slow? “Dear diary, I walked two hundred feet today. What a workout!” 
Nah, but I do wonder how much of the path is monster-laden if you did translate that into real time. Especially at night when all the zombies come out.
I like that the crowds at the market have a few different lines of dialogue.
Shop! “I heard that there’s a monster who eats Hylian shields!” What kind of weirdly specific rumor is that? I mean, I guess that in a land where random zombies spring up every night, it’s not too farfetched to think that ordinary people would carry around shields just in case, but that’s so specific.
Lon Lon Ranch
If you’re reading this, hi, Bergs. I finally know what Lon Lon milk is.
Heehee. There’s a spirit in a bottle and the caption is that you should “sell it to someone who is crazy about weird things like this.”
Link, how would you know that there’re people who’d pay a lot for this? You’ve lived in your little elf village your whole life.
Bottled fish. With all your sword swinging and running, that doesn’t seem very... practical.
All this stuff about needing containers... Screw the lot of you, I’m gonna carry all this stuff in my mouth.
Mask shop sounds interesting.
OH SHIT WHY DIDN’T MY SAVE WORK? I FAILED AT THE SHOOTING GALLERY, SO I FIGURED I’D JUST TRY AGAIN AND NOW I’M BACK AT MY TREE HOUSE. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? WHAT DID I DO?
I WAS SO SURE I SAVED BEFORE THIS.
No Ocarina dialogue, which would imply that this IS a newer save file than what I started with. Are there specific reload sites and I just haven’t found the one at the market, then...?
Well... as long as I have to go through the field again, why don’t we check out the Lon Lon ranch?
Can I keep this chicken?
AAAAAA! It’s Waluigi!
I’m the destined hero of Hyrule and I can’t even ride a random horse. Why does nobody appreciate me?
Sooo there’s horses and chickens. Is Lon Lon milk horse milk?
Never mind, I found two lon lons. But that doesn’t seem like a lot of milk...
I can’t actually draw my sword here. I guess Link’s not in the mood for lon lon steak.
Really, though, I can (uselessly) attack chickens and horses, why’s here different?
Oh, also. This place doesn’t have any gates to get to the main entrance. The only doors are for the two cows and the chicken house. Why don’t they have a zombie problem like on the outside? 
Back at the market and... there’s a bowling alley with neon lights. That’s a tad surreal.
Owl is telling me that the Lon Lon ranch and random towns are magical and time passes differently there. That’s... interesting?
Suspicious rock with a sign saying dead end. I’m guessing the sneaking hole is here, but I dunno what to do about the rock. Maybe there was an item in town. Like the bomb.
Navi telling me to go to the castle. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I’M DOING?
There’s a little door at the side of the castle that I can’t open. ??????
Welll... There’s Lon Lon Dad.
And a watering hole that I can’t jump to no matter the angle, but it IS the only hole I see. That and the suspicious boulder way near the beginning.
Thrown out again.
Lon Lon child gave me an egg. Aaaand that’s an hour, so I’m done for the day (Unless work closes at a reasonable time today so I can play at night?) Except I don’t know where I can save that won’t make me have to start at the damn treehouse again. ‘4′
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thegeminisage · 7 years
Text
i love my pink horse
More Than Life Itself
just a little more exploring before i Move On i can’t wait for a pleasant horse ride to my next destination tbh
holy shit i killed a bear and it had a fuckton of meat and honey Dang
theres some giant bones over here lol i was afraid they’d get up and chase me like the big stone things but thankfully i remain unscathed
found a shrine next to a river behind some rocks and you do the puzzle by moving big blocks in the air, but you move THEM by moving the gamepad and i cant move the gamepad properly and press the right button lol
note entirely sure im “supposed” to be here yet tbh
oh my god this one has a KEY?? dude theyre gettin fancy they were like crazy easy before
AH i found another horse that kinda looks like epona!! good
the sheikah clothes help me catch them so much better god
anyway finally onto The Next Story Point
a new province a new tower i gotta find i can’t deal w/ no map, dude
i wonder if i shouldn’t like. go ahead and do All The Towers and then roam as i please instead of one meticulously at a time but fuck it this was how i played da:i too, completely cleared and completed the hell out of a zone by doing every possible thing i could before moving on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
oh shit this one dude said something about legendary horses...good god 
i’ve been attacked by the yiga clan twice in five minutes
i came out to have a good time and i’m honestly...lmao ok nevermind
HOLY SHIT WHEN YOU FIRE MIDAIR YOU DO THIS SICK SLOW-MO POWER SHOT
NICE
i really like the music for hateno village
haha i spent 1000 years trying to pick out the color of my clothes, but really - link belongs in green!
also lol the dye dude has pink hair...a man after mine own heart
wtf theres a SHRINE here? these things are everywhere sldkfjgh
this one was hard and i hated it :| you had to roll a ball into a hole
im crying i accidentally hit whistle and my horse came to find me from all the way across the village what a good horse
also i just found the labs and the view from the cliff is like. yes. pretty, beautiful, breathtaking, etc. also: terrifying. this world is so big. it is so big. 
when i was 8 i thought hyrule field in ocarina of time was the coolest thing i’d ever seen...it was a real field! it was huge! it took ages to walk from end to end! now this tiny village is almost the same size. this is what i mean when i say i grew up with hyrule. i’m so lucky to have been born when i was. i got to get older right alongside the coolest game series ever
i have made it inside the lab but not yet gotten the blue fire i gotta know this chick’s story why is she still a child after 3495867 years where is that diary
BUT FIRST i am taking a break to shower my moms quit date is tomorrow and she just smoked her last one so tomorrow i gotta be bright eyed and bushy tailed to Support her more zelda after that
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impvarjack60 · 7 years
Text
24 Under the Moon's Fiery Light
We set off on the trail with the wind in our hair, or what was left of it for some, I will miss my strawberry blonde girl.
Wow, it has been a long time- I stopped cycling ten years ago. When the pain got too much it was time to quit. I've always wanted to ride these perfect trails, and here we are, ear to ear grin for the both of us. This is where we should be- just absorbing the sunshine- and being free. Not worrying how we're gonna' pay the rent, or that latest medical bill, the car needs a new transmission, and on and on. So much of our daily lives back on Earth were just like that for nearly everyone. Now for us select few, we get to pursue leisure. If you’re an artist, paint. Musician? write some music. A runner? Just run, and keep on running like Forest Gump, ‘til ya can't run no more. Pursue your passions,... be free.
But for Anna and I, we had responsibilities. We had a kingdom to run. The good news is our duties would be light for now, knock on wood. Just make a few decisions here and there. Pick our flag, what color should the castle be? Who can get married first. Pretty light weight stuff.
There's not a chance in hell it's gonna' be that easy.
During my trial, there was something familiar about what happened. So I decided to play twenty questions. _________________________________________________________ "Anna, there was something familiar about The Trial, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Who came up with the script?" "Some of it was my idea, I tried to do every evil queen in written fictional history, but what you did was based on a video game." "What?! That was worse than Grand Theft Auto!, what sinister game did you base it on?" "The Legend of Zelda." I tried to shake the words I just heard out of my head. "How on earth did you come up with that?" "Think about it, Michael. Search for a key to a locked door, explore the passages, find the weapon you need to defeat the boss. Find your way to the boss, and destroy it to move on to the next level." "So you planted the knife?" "Actually, there were several weapons scattered thru the castle. I'm really glad you didn't find the hatchet, the idea of being bludgeoned in the skull scared me, personal shield or not." "That's OK, I would have just hacked you to pieces." "That's not very reassuring." I remember that game, the Ocarina of Time. I came home from work and played every night till midnight for a month, and was so sad when I finally got to the end, and had to say goodbye to Princess Zelda. Oh shit,... I have a princess fetish. On earth, this epiphany would mean it's time to see a therapist, and here, I'm marrying one. That's kinda funny, and I snickered to myself. "What's so funny?" "I just realized that I have a serious jones for princesses! The Legend of Zelda was about a princess, several movies that are my all-time favorites have princesses. Ugh,...Why!?" "Yea, it is a strange thing to be on your all-time favs list." "Just like the old saying, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!" She about wrecked her bike slugging me in the arm. We were slowly coming back, and just being us. So we turned the corner to the trail that led to the house, finally.... Home.
_________________________________________________
We got in the door and I could just feel the tension melt away, she was here, with me, at last. And still typical Anna. Shoes and socks came off immediately. The house had a staleness to it though. Houses don't like it when no one lives in them, it's like they die a small death. Speaking of death,.... "Hey Stinky Feet!, wanna' crack some windows?" "Excuse me!, I am a princess, and my feet do not stink. They smell like a flower garden." Being the limber creature she was, she jammed her foot right in my face, smashing my nose. While it was sweaty, it still smelled like lavender. She was all sugar and spice. "OK, I get it, you know I'm just jerkin' your chain, but seriously we need to open some windows." So we set about airing the place out. Then it was time to see if any of my equipment still worked, it's been a half year since any of this has been on. I put on some light jazz and just laid back on the couch. I closed my eyes and was just starting to enjoy the peace, when.... "OK, so what do you want to do with the rest of the day?" So I got up, put my hands in her armpits and picked her up, hmmm, this is now effortless. I took her to the couch and told her quite forcefully; "SIT DOWN!" she slowly settled into the couch, starring at me the whole time. "What we are going to do is sit the fuck down, and we are going to fucking relax. In case you haven't been paying attention to current events, the last few days have been a little stressful, as I had to plot the murder of the woman who I love dearly." I got right in her face, and  I'm sure with my new stature, I was quite intimidating. "You're right Michael- I'm sorry- I guess I was viewing this from the actors side of things." "That's the point, Anna. You would've won an Oscar for your performance. For me it was very real, and very heartbreaking. When I looked into your eyes for that last time, I wanted that moment to last forever." "Michael, I have a confession to make. When I screamed last night, it was real. I genuinely feared for my life. The shield may not have worked, and I was terrified." "The worst part is, you made the decision too easy. My only solace was knowing I would have joined you in death." "No, the guards were instructed not to harm you in any way." "WHAT?!, why would you do that?!" "Because this is not about me. These people would still need a leader. That leader is you." Selfless, to the end. My God, I hope these people realize what they're getting. The Anna who made a choice to save others, instead of herself. This time in real life, and not on the big screen. She'll be one for the history books. And two thousand years from now some child will be sitting in a classroom reading a story about the great Queen Anna, the first.
"I don't think I could do this without you." "I felt the same way, that's why we went thru all this." Then I looked her straight in the eye. "I meant what I said, I did not want you to die without knowing I still loved you. You were the most foul, evil bitch I've ever been with, but all that shit couldn't keep me from loving you. But now we're here, and away from all the Royal stuff. So please, for the love of God, can we just take it easy for a few days?! And just be us?" "Will we survive this?" "I hope so, we've got a long way to go, but even kings and queens take vacations, and as the future king, I declare we are officially on vacation." "Yes, your Majesty!" "Now that's more like it. I want you to lay back on this couch, while I rub your smelly feet until this record is over, then we're gonna' get something to eat. After that we are going to do nothing for the rest of the day, understood?" She just nodded.
My favorite thing to do, nothing.
___________________________________________________
We managed to get though dinner before an interruption by my favorite thorn in my side, Olaf. "Good evening Princess Anna and Prince Michael. We have a special astronomical event you may wish to observe tonight. A trinary moon system in orbit of the gas giant we are at is having a collision event. The smallest moon of the system is in a decaying orbit around the largest one, when it collides the results should be quite spectacular." "Thanks Olaf, that does sound interesting,... tree house?" I said, Anna perked right up. "Oh, hell yes! I'll get the sheets, pillows and blankets." "And I'll get the cookies,... and towels."
It was kind of a mess, it's been a long time since we've been up here. But nothing has felt so right in so long. We made love. It wasn't super passionate, it wasn't forceful, hell, it wasn't even that exciting. But it was the best for those very reasons, it was normal, and it felt fantastic.
Then it was time to watch the show. The little moon kept orbiting the big moon faster and faster as it went down it's gravity well. when it finally touched, a giant shower of sparks were emitted, the sparks fanned out as the little moon rolled violently across it's surface, then the little moon finally exploded, sending a shower of molten rock into space, lighting up the Habitat, I was starring at it lost in deep thought. "So what are you thinking about right now?" She said. Most of the time, guys don't have an answer, this time I did. She was curled up on my chest, with her fingers drawing little circles on it, and quite content.
"Something my mother said a long time ago; 'You can never go home again.' I never knew what she meant until now. We are never going to be the same, you and me. Maybe it'll be better, maybe it'll be worse, but it'll never be the same. Eventually she did go home, but in a cardboard box, lined in plastic. As we pored her ashes out on that North Sea beach she frequented as a child, I thought about what she said, and now I realize she was right." "That may be true, but I for one can't wait to take on this adventure called life with you, I have always loved you."
"And I can't help but love you........."
                                     End Part One.
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