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downtonabbeyrevisited · 3 years

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Season Two Episode Two

Following a typically chaotic opener, Episode Two of Season Two strikes a far more sombre tone. The arrival of Henry Lang as Robert’s valet brings the first of this episode’s three plot points that address the impact of WW1 on the mental health of its soldiers. There is nothing funny to say about either shell-shock or suicidal ideation both of which are vast, complex issues that, for my money, Downton Abbey isn’t the vehicle explore in (because they require more time and depth than the pace of the plot in Season Two affords) and it certainly isn’t my place to make light of them in this rather irreverent corner of the internet. So I’m going to have a go at treading a fine line here. Forgive me if I stumble.

Lang is clearly in the grips of something awful and yet in an attempt to avoid the indignity of having maids in the dining room, he is bumped up to footman duty. He struggles throughout, culminating in him depositing his cargo on Edith’s dress. Mrs O’Brein has firmly taken Lang under her wing, recognising that he is struggling and offers him assurance and comfort that she has never gifted to Thomas.

Across the Village, Lieutenant Edward Courtenay is in the hospital having been blinded by gas. The use of gas (both chlorine and mustard) had a devastating impact on soldiers in WW1 but was also the root of the development of Zyklon B. Frtiz Haber, a German Jewish chemist, enabled chlorine gas to be used a weapon in WW1 and his research was later developed into the Zyklon process which was used by the Nazis to murder millions, including his own family. This is only one of a dizzying number of appalling ironies to be found in the World Wars but as I said last episode, I’m not a military historian so I’m going to leave it there. Edward had plans to return to the country after his graduation from Oxford to pursue the simple life (although one gets the feeling that his idea of the pursuit of a simple life will still be one that is very well upholstered). Thomas has taken it upon himself to read Edward’s letters to him and together with Sybil is helping him to adjust to living life with a different set of parameters. But growing pressure on the hospital’s limited capacity means that he is to be transferred elsewhere. All three voice their dissent at varying volumes to Major Clarkson who falls back on the very real backlog of wounded men. After Edward has died, Major Clarkson, Isobel and Sybil talk about a renewed need for the Abbey to become a convalescent home, an idea that has been bubbling under the surface for a while now. Meanwhile, Thomas has been left on his own to process both Edward’s death and the implications of witnessing a lack of support given by his own physician to those with depression.

The usually reliably jovial Mrs Patmore also has a more somber episode with her pursuit for the truth about the death of her nephew Archie. Robert finds that he has been shot for cowardice. Not only does this mean that her family is in mourning but they will now have to navigate the stigma and undue shame that came with having a relative die in this way. So entrenched in British life was the derision levelled at those who were shot for cowardice or desertion that it was only in 2006 that pardons were offered by Britain for 309 of those that were executed by firing squad during WW1. I know I said I’d leave it there with the military history, but that felt like an important bit of context.

We are now in 1917 and Matthew is still in the same trench that he was in 1916 (a detail I hadn’t actually noticed until I got the screen cap for this) so it looks like his strategy of downing tools mid-fight and continuously popping back to Blighty for important plot developments isn’t really paying dividends. Perhaps the addition of William to the ranks will help him? William certainly seems to think so and if the speed at which he moves through the various stages of his ‘relationship’ with Daisy is any indication of his tactical prowess, the British Front will not only be well within Germany’s borders but will be breathing down Russia’s neck in a fortnight. In any other episode, this would certainly get the award for oddest relationship dynamic but Sir Richard Carlisle exists.

Sir Richard makes his debut at Downton, having been introduced in name only in the previous episode. He and Mary met at Cliveden which is a regular haunt of mine, giving me hope that one day I too will from a strategic alliance with a newspaper magnate. He may know how to talk his way around a boardroom but he is lacking in the sartorial department. Whilst Sir Richard manages to avoid catching fire in his tweed, Lavinia is not free from the heat as he threatens her with his connection to her uncle. He may not know much about navigating the niceties of Downton, but at least he has cottoned on to the fact that any major disagreement should occur under a specific tree. Whilst Mary’s signature move is weeping into her gloves, Sir Richard’s is grabbing women by the forearm. A female friend of mine told me that one of her favourite things about the pandemic and the compulsion to keep 2m away from anyone (and not just emotionally) is that she has not been ’steered’ by a male hand on her lower back since 2019. It turns out that she can enter and exit rooms just fine on her own and I get the impression that Lavinia could get the gist of Sir Richard’s rage without the vice like grip of a man probably about twice her age.

Twinned with the ’tree of emotional conflict’, the ‘platform of romantic uncertainty’ provides the backdrop for Sir Richard’s proposal of marriage to Mary which is a declaration that really feels like it should come with a series of well-formatted charts. Mary’s heart, however, is still very much with Cousin Matthew. After being counselled by Carson in a type of conversation I cannot imagine her ever having with her father, she is on the verge of coming clean with Matthew. But in the second round of Lavinia vs. Mary, Lavinia declares that she ‘could not go on living’ without Matthew and Mary winds her neck in.

Also having a romantic entanglement this episode is Edith. Drake, previously of dropsy fame, has lost his farm hands and Edith turns up to offer her help in a wildly unsuitable trouser and heeled boot combo. But she soon gets down to it by pulling up a tree stump and flirting in a barn whilst a rather lovely border collie looks on (I’m currently trying to talk myself out of getting a border collie and this incident has done nothing to help things). After showing Drake that she can drink from a bottle like literally every single other human on the planet, the two share a kiss and some highly awkward dialogue that only slightly resembles ‘Carry on Downton’.

Whilst Edith is more than happy to crack on in a barn, Mr Molesley is much more backwards about coming forwards. Apparently having predicted the creation of ‘The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society’, he figures that a book is the perfect kindling for romance when you exist in a glossy depiction of the past. Sadly neither Elizabeth nor her German garden can lure Anna from Bates who is fast shaping up to be schrodinger’s boyfriend. Anna proceeds to make some odd analogy where she compares Mr Bates to her moon-based child, revealing a rather unhealthy amount of codependency in that particular relationship.

Romantic declaration of the moment

Again, it feels like anyone but Sybil and Branson should get this but I am an agent of chaos and here we are. Branson defends Sybil’s will to work and has ample opportunity to see her shine in her chosen field. The admission that she will not be returning to her old life is a little chink of light that Branson basks in.

Expressive eyebrow of the week

I nominate Carson’s entire face when he realises that he has taken on too much and goes an impressive shade of red. As Carson frets about spoons, sauce, and something I can’t quite fathom, he starts to resemble a man who is re-arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic. Carson’s battle to get a cork out of a bottle and knocking into chairs is a warm up to his rather dramatic collapse which is accompanied by a pretty disturbing groan. Sybil springs to action and he is soon efficiently ensconced in his own quarters.

Wait, what?

“I got a lot done on the train” Clearly Richard was on a train that was unencumbered with the wifi issues that plague the Pendolino.

“It takes a good deal more than that to shock me.” Mary’s shock-o-meter is a pretty odd instrument. It is unresponsive to corpses of diplomats but goes into absolute meltdown at the notion that she might have to live in a cottage.

“Let's hope my reputation will survive it.” I’ve not checked (and I categorically never will) but I would put money on the fact that someone has created a rarepair out of this.

“How can Matthew have chosen that little blonde piece?” Is Lavinia blonde? Women’s hair is not really my forte but I would have thought she was more akin to Tim Minchin than 1998 Justin Timberlake.

“I believe in this war. I believe in what we are fighting for.” William seems to have a better grip on what all of this is about than I ever did in high school history. The ‘A’ that eluded me is heading his way.

“I thought he might've died for love of you.” How I love snipey Thomas. It’s good to have him back. To borrow a quote from Bottas (another man who is currently living a life in which his destiny is his own demise) ‘traditions’.

“Fold it in, don’t slap it” The more season two goes on, the more I think that Moira is just an amalgamation of some choice elements of Julian’s kingdom.

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onelastbreath-writes · 3 years

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I Spy

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales/Fem!Reader (AFAB, no y/n)

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Brief mention of bad(abusive/manipulative) parents, general adult topics, swearing.

Summary: You meet a cute guy at a bar, you date, you fall in love, and oops, it turns out you’ve both been lying about your careers. Classified only stays classified until you get assigned a mission together. (SpecOps&Spies, with Young!Frankie)

A/N: Hey guys, I was bad and started another fic. Whoops. This one is for Triple Frontier because I love that soft boi Francisco. The flavour of this fic, the vibe if you will, is basically the spiderman pointing meme. I’ve vaguely set the timeline to like mid-2000s? so I’ll be trying my best to stay true to technology and aesthetic of the era. There was so much denim. Anyways, that means I’m trying to write for about a 27-33 year old Frankie and a similarly aged reader. I don’t see this series being more than a couple chapters at best, so it’ll be short and sweet. Also, like, very little angst if I can help it; I just want this one to be a good, cute, fun read. Hope y’all enjoy! Xoxo

[AO3][Masterlist]

“So, you’re coming out tonight, right? You’re not busy or anything?”

“Please don’t say it like that, you know how busy work actually is. And I’m a grown woman; if I didn’t want to go to a shady dive bar with you and your very loud friends from the office, I’d say so,” You loved your best friend, and you missed spending time together, but you really couldn’t say the same for her co-workers.

You had nothing against the women she worked with, and you found that they were all perfectly lovely and usually quite fun to be around… it was just that when the alcohol came out, the volume control and verbal filters disappeared.

You wouldn’t say that barhopping was what you’d prefer to be doing tonight, along with more or less babysitting your friend and her friends, but you didn’t know when you’d next be able to squeeze in a night off to just hang out and have fun, so this was happening. You would laugh and smile and keep the drunk secretaries from going home with questionable people, and then you would look back on your ladies’ night with fond memories until you could eventually attend another.

You had known when you picked your career that it would be an around-the-clock, all-day, every-day sort of thing. You never deluded yourself into thinking you would have much of a social life or long-term relationships. Most partners, hell even most friends, would have a problem with you jetting off for weekends, or disappearing for days at a time under mountains of paperwork and appointments.

It just made your best friend that much more important to you. You’d met as kids, went through years of school beside each other, hung out, did stupid teenager things and then stupid young adult things together. You’d cried and laughed and fought and made up a million times, you’d gone to different colleges and still kept in touch, moved away, moved back, and you were still going strong. She was your ride-or-die, your anchor and your parachute and everything in between, so if you could use some of your precious, hoarded, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it time off to see her, that’s just what you’d do.

“You should take some of that fire, and direct it at your boss. Tell him no for a change. I’d love to see his face at that!” She meant well, always trying to look out for you and your health when it came to your beyond demanding job. You weren’t even allowed to tell her a fraction of what you were doing in your professional life, and she knew it, but that didn’t stop her from being ready to throw fists at your employer at a moment’s notice.

“One does not simply tell the über-rich that they don’t need to fly to Paris, again. Being a PA is a full-time nannying gig, except your charge is an adult who can argue when you say no, and you cannot put them on timeout when they’re being a brat. Where he goes, I go, and unless something drastic happens, it will probably continue on like that for a while.” She laughed at your jokes, and your heart hurt a little less at her glee. You knew she would never give up on you or blame you for your work being unpredictable, but that didn’t make the sting of last-minute cancels and missed outings hurt any less, for either of you.

“But it must be nice, just getting on a plane and going somewhere amazing at the drop of a hat. Travelling the world like a superstar, meeting people, having amazing adventures with mysterious strangers…”

“Easy there, Mamma Mia, your wanderlust is showing. And I’d take you with me in a heartbeat if I could. You were born to be a jetsetter, not to be stuck in this town with nothing but the office cubicle beside you to stare at. And I still think you should apply for one of those immersive culture grants you keep mooning over. They’d be fools not to fund your writing expedition!” She was an incredible person, three full degrees to her name in the time it took a normal student to get one, and a brain that could run miles around the rest of the professionals in her field. But she was tethered to this quiet backwater town, and she wasn’t free to fly like she deserved.

“You know I can’t just… go, like you can. My mom, it’d just break her heart… I don’t want to leave her alone, not after Dad,” You honestly doubted that you’d ever meet a woman more horrible and undeserving of her own daughter’s kindness. Helen was a parasite full of lies and manipulations and greed, and she had attached herself like a bad rash to your friend after she’d chased away the rest of her family members.

Your friend searched for the good in everyone, but you wished she’d stop looking for it at that home.

“You deserve your own happiness and freedom, and she should be encouraging you to spread your wings if and when you’re ready.” Politicking your friend was never something you enjoyed. She was the last person you wanted to use your negotiating credentials and sly subterfuge tactics against, but you wanted, needed, her safety and health more. You considered it almost bribery; dangling her dream future in front of her in exchange of being rid of the garbage in her life.

“Hey now, we’re getting way too deep into sad-drunk night conversations, and this is strictly a happy-fun-drunk night. Please leave all baggage and woes at the door, thank you!” You admitted your defeat and surrendered your verbal power point on Why Helen Needs to Disappear. You would get her next time for sure, give her the accelerant to burn down that bridge. “Anyways, the reason I called was to remind you of our haunt for the night. One of the girls, Kelly, you remember Kelly, found this adorable little hole in the wall. A total boys’ club apparently: darts, pool, sports games on the TV, but Kelly’s sister’s friend’s brother Tyler said the place was a favourite of the local army guys. So, if nothing else, we’ll at least have some hunks to look at for a while. It’ll be great!”

You jotted down the directions to the bar as she listed them, and the time you were expected to arrive there.

“Oh! And wear that cute little blue number you bought last spring; I know you still have it so don’t you dare lie. It makes your ass and legs look divine, and I think you could stand to make a new acquaintance tonight.” That Little Blue Number was buried in the back of your closet where you had hoped it would remain forever, but luck was not on your side tonight it seemed. But it did make you look, and feel, fantastic. It was just so… breezy. “And heels! Real ones, not your cute little personal assistant kitten heels. Those black strappy ones would work like a dream!” You just sighed dramatically into the receiver and agreed to her demands.

“I’ll let you go now, and yes, I suppose I can be presentable tonight, dress and all. See-ya later!”

---

Hole in the wall was right. This place was basically underground it was so on the D.L. It was warm inside though, and in the middle of autumn with so much skin on display, you could not be more pleased to get away from the chilled outside air.

You would describe the interior as comfortable with a hint of rustic; lots of warm dark wood and low lights, mixed with the soft Latin music crooning in the background and the few patrons’ conversations adding to the ambience.

All in all, it was probably the nicest dive bar you’d been to in your hometown.

Your party was easy to spot where they had claimed a group of pushed together tables towards the far side of the establishment, and you carefully made your way over to them in your tricky high heels.

You said your hellos to returning faces and introduced yourself to the new additions, and accepted the chair you were pointed to and the drink pressed into your hand.

And so, the hours rolled.

You had enjoyed two fruity cocktails and a flaming shot before you called it quits on the alcohol for the night. You still had a few hours to sober up enough to drive home safely, and you would be able to help the girls get to their rides and ways home too. You appreciated having a social drink or two, but you didn’t care for hangovers and would happily take slightly tipsy over party-hard drunk anytime. Plus, your contract stated you were on-call, always, and you could be required to navigate high-stress negotiations at the drop of a hat. It was just better to cut yourself off, then reap the consequences of your actions later.

You tapped your friend’s shoulder as you walked past and leaned over to talk into her ear. “I’m getting some water for the table; do you want anything else?”

“Mmmm, no I think we’re good for now, thanks!” She was plastered already, but she had a huge grin on her face and was laughing at her co-workers’ stories, so you considered it a win of a night. You gave her a pat goodbye and swayed your way to the bar.

But you just were not accounting for the uneven floorboards, or how much your heels affected your currently less than steady equilibrium, and before you could blink you were teetering over into a nasty fall.

“Whoa there, easy does it, muñequita” Arms wrapped around you and pulled you back into a warm chest. “Careful now, don’t go twisting an ankle in those fancy shoes.”

You certainly did not account for the man you turned around to face. Wow.

His hands glided respectfully from where he had caught you around the waist to your still bent and held out elbows, steadying you as you swayed dangerously again.

Warm brown eyes, soft brown curls, and the sweetest smile you’d ever seen. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest, and you knew that it wasn’t left over adrenaline from your near wipeout. He was gorgeous and handling you so gently, and you wanted to spend forever in that moment.

“Hey there, palomita, I’m Frankie, can I buy you a drink?”

[Next Part]

#triple frontier #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales #frankie morales x you #Pedro Pascal #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

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carriagelamp · 3 years

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April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom. As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

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karajaynetoday · 4 years

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It’s not the pain they’re getting over, it’s the love | ashton irwin

Well, well, well. It’s really only been about six months since I became active on Tumblr again, but inspired by all of the delightful 5sos blogs and writers I’ve connected with in the last little while, here we have it. A little Ash blurb inspired by this quote from On The Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta (one of my absolute favourite books, would recommend reading!). All of the italics in this piece are additional quotes from the same book. This is the first fic I’ve written in about 6 years, and the first time I’ve ever written for 5sos, so any feedback would be appreciated x

Read part two here, part three here

Small trigger warning for mention of illness and implied death of a family member towards the end.

Word count: 1.3k

(This is a fem reader insert)

I crave someone knowing me so well that they can tell what I’m thinking.

When you’re a kid, you think being a teenager is going to be the best thing that ever happens to you. You’re going to be so grown up, and it’s going to make everything better. And then you become a teenager, and you think you’re basically an adult when you aren’t, but somehow you yearn for the innocence and carefree state of mind you had as a kid. And then you become an adult, but you never feel like one – each birthday comes and goes but you still don’t quite feel like this should be your life.

The one saving grace through childhood and your teenage years was Ashton. Born mere months apart to two women who considered each other sisters, you were inseparable. Teachers tried to get you to make more friends by putting you in separate classes, and you did make a few here and there, but at the end of each day you’d reunite with Ashton on the bus home.

Your mothers tried to get their nursing shifts on opposite schedules, so one or the other would be there when you got home to the houses across the street from one another, but as the years went on it became harder and harder and often you were by yourselves, charged with looking after your siblings. But you and Ash made a good team, so it never felt too much like a chore.

Then came the rebellion, and the sneaking out after dark, and the drinking in random hideaways, and running away when your lives felt like too much. Then the days where you both got your drivers’ licenses at seventeen, and all of a sudden you felt like the grown up era that you’d been waiting your whole life for had begun. You could drive, and you had jobs, and you could start to see yourselves as yourselves, rather than defined by your families or your circumstances or what anyone else thought of you.

But as you grew, your desires changed. You wanted to grow beyond where you were, and achieve something outside of the middle of nowhere suburb you’d called home for so long. Ash wanted this too, for the both of you. But then it only happened for him.

At first when he left it was exciting, because at least one of you got to escape and go on an adventure and make something of the world, but then slowly the distance built the emptiness. Ash would message or call often, and then less, and less, and then not at all. He’d visit at Christmas, or while touring, but understandably he spent time with his family or always seemed to be busy with press or one thing or the other, or he’d be staying in the city, far enough away that you could never bring yourself to go there. You felt close to him in the moments you spent with his family, watching his siblings graduate high school alongside yours, or celebrating your mothers’ milestone birthdays in his absence, but it was more of a longing for the Ash you knew, rather than a relationship with his current self. Because in all honesty, you didn’t know him anymore. And that fucking hurt, but at some point you had to move on.

At the end of the day it's about heart beats and blood flow. People's spirits don't keep them alive.

So you threw yourself into study. You fell in love, and out of it, and then back in, only to have your heart broken more than a few times. You moved a little further from your family, but close enough that you could still be there when they needed you. One day, your mother came by, her eyes sparkling with tears as she told you the news. Three months, the doctors had said. After dedicating her life to caring for others, three months was all the universe gave her to prepare for the end. So once again, your journey took a turn back into being intertwined with your family’s, and you took charge of caring for your siblings in between driving your mum to her appointments and everything else that needing doing in between.

It seemed grim somehow, but she wanted a birthday party. Even though it would be cloaked in a veil of sadness, she wanted to be celebrated while she was still here to see it. So you organised it one weekend, and the weather came good despite it being the middle of winter, and the sun shone as bright as your mother’s soul. You were in the kitchen cutting up some fruit for dessert, when you heard shouts of surprise and scattered applause from where everyone had gathered in the backyard. Glancing out the window, you almost dropped the knife in your hands. Ash was standing in your backyard alongside his mother, giving your own mother a gentle hug. You pinched your arm, hard, and closed your eyes, but then when you opened them again he was still there. Just when you’d finally pushed him out of your mind and your heart and your soul, he was standing right there in your fucking backyard.

Maybe memories should be left the way they are.

No matter how much you wanted to stay put in the kitchen and literally disappear into the floor, you knew you had to face him eventually. What you didn’t anticipate was the door opening quietly behind you, and the sound of a throat being cleared.

“I’m so sorry it took me this long to come home to you.” The American twang in his voice was less pronounced than you remembered from a recent video your mum showed you, but it still made your shoulders tense from the unfamiliarity. You ignored him, and braced your hands against the bench as you squeezed your eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this, love. I can’t even imagine –“ He tried again, before you spun around and glared.

“Don’t.”

You want it to sound harsh and cold, but your voice wavers and you can’t meet his gaze. Because you know, even after all this time, he knows you so well that he can tell what you’re thinking by just looking at you. The tension in the air is thick, until Ash lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, and pulls you into his arms and presses his chin on top of your head and breathes you in.

His hold is stronger, and his shoulders are broader, and his scent is different than you remember, but the warmth is the same. The feeling of safety and security and wholeness is the same. Before you can comprehend it, you’re crying, and he’s crying, and you’re holding on so tightly it feels like you’ll never be able to let go. And for a moment you’re the kids on the bus, and the teenagers in a hideaway spot, and everything hurts but also nothing hurts and you just are. Together. And although you know soon your heart will be torn into pieces because of more loss than you’ve ever felt before, and that this moment in Ashton’s arms will end, and he’ll have to leave again, for right now the love in your heart is bursting. And all you need is this moment.

It’s funny how you can forget everything except people loving you. Maybe that’s why humans find it so hard getting over love affairs. It’s not the pain they’re getting over, it’s the love.

More writing here | send feedback/thoughts/suggestions here

Read part two here, part three here

#my writing #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin one shot #ashton irwin blurb #5sos imagine #5sos one shot #5sos blurb #ash writing #posting this has got me hella nervous but YOLO we're doing it anyway #5sos writing #tw illness #tw death

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stilemawillow · 4 years

Text

Fairy Tale NOT Like [Levi | Reader]

Sequel: Romantic? More Like NO

Levi felt just so irritated.

Firstly Hanji had to break his favourite set of tea cups in the morning just because 'I had to take Eren's sample to the office as fast as possible!' Yeah, as if that would magically ressurect his precious china.

Then Eren fucking Jaeger just had to go and make a tantrum about not being invited to the ball that was to be held tonight in the near palace. And from where the fuck did he even know about the ball? That kid had enough problems, he shouldn't have acted like a witty girl just because he got no annoying velvety piece of shit in front of his door at six fucking in the morning. Then after he calmed the teen down, he had to go and do the usual training session with the cadets. Fair enough it seemed.

It was followed by a good time of afternoon tea and then he planned to do some paperwork, rest, maybe even visit town and buy himself some tea or even a new broom because the old one was getting worn out. However, Erwin fucking Smith just had to ruin his peaceful alone time, burst his bubble and tell him he had to go to tonight's ball. He had to look pretty and talk politely and blah, blah, blah. The reason? Levi had no fucking idea.

So now he was here - dressed in a tux with a bouquet of flowers for who damn knows - walking down the streets of the town square because he got partly lost on his way to the palace. Just great. This wasn't how his evening should’ve been spent.

If he was lucky he could’ve been reading a book in the mess hall just near the fireplace with no brats around because it would be after curfew, a cup of tea in hand and a peaceful mind, away from his everyday problems for five to fifty minutes. But no.

He was forced to attend this frilly ball, to get "pretty" as Erwin had said, then buy flowers - again an order from Erwin - and actually interact with living people and not insult them, then eat properly, talk no bullshit and make no frowns. To top it all off, he wasn’t even given permission to get drunk. So unfair.

As Levi made his way through the crowd that was to either go to the ball or go back to their homes, he accidentally bumped into someone and said someone was going to fall before Levi caught his hand and pulled him back up. When the raven-haired man looked who the person was he found himself face to face with a woman around her mid-twenties, exactly two inches shorter than he was with a bewildered look on her face.

He let go of her forearm as fast as he had gripped it but the woman was in no haste, so she took her time eyeing him up and down before apologising for being a goddamn klutz.

"I'm really sorry for my recklessness, sir. I didn't mean to bump into you." She stated, her tone high-pitched in supposed nervousness. Her voice, however, held very little of the regret she tried to convey.

"You don't really sound sorry."

"I do bump into people everyday, so apologies have turned into a life for me." She shrugged and he snorted. He should be on his way to the fucking palace, not here talking with whoever this woman was. His mind made an abrupt connection. A brilliant idea. He could use her. Not just as an excuse to arrive late, no. He could really use her.

"And where were you going?" He questioned, making the woman frown.

"I was just taking a walk. I just quit my job so I’m looking for a new one."

"You could always work for the palace."

"I’d prefer not to get involved in something I consider my greatest nightmare, thank you. The snobs inside the palace get all my money as it is, I don’t want to serve directly under them too." The woman huffed and knotted her eyebrows in spite, making Levi slightly hum in satisfaction. This was definitely a feisty one. But he would have to make it work. God how he hated interacting with people.

"I can get you a job." He stated straightforwardly, making the female gape at his uncaring scowl.

"Where?"

"Wherever you want."

“Really?” Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms, bringing his attention to her tattered button-up. In another life, it should’ve been white but it was grey and worn-out, just like the pants she’d clearly cuffed herself, judging by the sloppy handiwork. Levi eyed the neatly braided (h/c) hair over her shoulder and the clear (s/c) skin contrasting the (e/c) hues currently judging him. A bath was all that stood between her and the adjective ‘pretty’.

"Of cour---"

"And what would you exactly want in return, Mr. Complaisant?" She responded to his glare with one of her own, almost making him roll his eyes in exasperation. He should’ve known she wouldn’t be naive like most women with how poverty-stricken she looked. She was probably one missed paycheck away from becoming homeless and people like her rarely took kind to unreasonably generous offers.

"You got me." He stated boredly, making her snort as he pretended to turn and resume his walk to the palace. He needed not start at all, for she blocked his path with her body less than a second later.

"So?" Her inquiry coincided with the bump of their shoulders as Levi was almost surprised at the lack of disgust he felt at the unintentional contact.

"What?" He asked and she repeated her question with a sigh.

"What would you want in return? Just because someone comes up to me with a suspicious job offer doesn’t mean I’ll be missing out on the opportunity. Let me hear that favour you'll want and I'll decide."

"You seriously don’t know me if you dare question my word, much less if you bargain with me." He glared as she stood across from him as unfazed as she could be. Great, apparently he couldn't intimidate her enough as to use his authority on her. Just great. His plan was crumbling and he had no back-up one.

"Right now, stranger, you're simply the newest addition to my collection of people I’ve bumped into. Not bargaining with you is simply not me, nothing personal." The woman’s explanation made him roll his eyes, then click his tongue and fix her with a glare.

"I want you to go to the ball tonight with me."

"That was sudden." However, she didn’t seem one bit surprised. Was she used to having men invite her to balls left and right all day or was she a mind-reader?

"Do you accept or not? I don't have all night." He tried to keep the insults in, seemingly as he'd have to do it for the rest of the night anyway.

"Sure thing. But the job offer stays?" She looked at him in a suspicious way, making his insides gurgle with irritation at her character. He’d experienced instant dislike lots of times in his life but this individual sparked curiosity too. She was too interesting to be entirely disliked.

"Don't question my words."

"Fine, fine. I'll just have to change."

"We don't have time for that. I'll buy you a dress as we go." He grabbed her wrist before she could turn and headed towards the only dress store he knew of, which was the one where he’d gotten his tux from earlier the same week. The female let herself be dragged after him with suspicious ease, though he could feel her glare piercing the back of his head.

Less than three minutes later, he was knocking on the door of the dress store, hoping for it to be open at this time. The owner’s irritated countenance showed, incoming insults halting at the tip of his tongue at the sight of his client.

"M-Mr. Ackerman. What a pleasure. W-Why are you here?" The man asked as Levi shoved the silent woman at his side through the door with a mean glare.

"Take her measurements and give her a nice dress. Erwin Smith will be paying. I’ll be outside." With a last glance to the confused face of the female and the panicked one of the owner, he exited the store and stiffly considered leaning on the dirty wall before deciding it wasn’t worth it.

Of all things he could be doing right now, he was waiting for a woman he didn’t know so she could accompany him to a ball. Levi had no idea why he’d decided to take her along but he guessed he could only face the consequences of that from now onwards. The minutes he spent silently waiting were uncountable but they paid off well when he saw the store’s door open. He felt the woman who walked out now was not the same as the one he’d shoved in. He blinked at her for a short while in wonder, then motioned for her to follow.

She made no comment on his demanour, she didn’t ask how she looked or what he thought, she didn’t speak at all actually. It was the first time Levi felt discomfort at not being pestered with questions. Because, in this special case, they would be justified. It could be said, they had to be there. But they weren’t and that was strange. Almost as strange as the fact she’d accepted his request without giving it much thought.

"What's your name?"

"(Y/N) (L/N). You don't need to bother remembering it." He hummed at her words and she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "Why did you ask me to come to that ball with you?"

"To piss somebody off."

"I guess we're even then." His perplexed look spoke volumes on his actual confusion. For all he knew, he was using her - not the other way around. "I agreed to come with you to get back at an old friend of mine since I’m sure he’ll be there." (Y/N) stated, making Levi huff whilst trying not to cringe at how muddy the streets were.

"So it wasn't only for the job?" He asked, not curious and not impartial, just for the sake of avoiding silence.

"Oh, I do need it. I’m just taking more advantage of your offer than I should." Her dress was a darker colour in the light of the setting sun as she spoke, making Levi click his tongue.

"It's amazing how manipulative some women are." His statement was nonchalant. She only nodded.

"And how uncaring some men can make themselves seem."

"Your implication?"

"You're not actually that cold, are you? You cared enough to use me at least. You could’ve easily brushed me off." Levi couldn’t understand where the word ‘care’ wrote itself into the manipulative act he’d performed but he couldn’t deny she was being observant.

"I'm not usually like that." He reassured boredly. He could see her shrug with his peripheral vision; the temptation to look at her was tickling his neck but he was the tiniest of bits put off by the fact he might just see the smirk he somehow knew was on her lips. “Now, I’m not going to be lecturing you on etiquette. You can go embarrass yourself in whichever way you want for all I care so long as you don’t say I’ve basically bought your escort." He changed the topic with a deadpan as she nodded, smiling just slightly.

"Sure thing." His stomach took an unpleasant turn. What was happening? Had he become nauseous without even noticing? Was it the food he’d eaten? He opened his mouth to speak again when she exclaimed: "Oh, look we're here! Come on!" She grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the palace's entrance. He quickly yanked his hand from hers - clothed contact with her he may have tolerated, but this here was a no-no for his cleanliness.

"I can walk perfectly fine on my own." He stated and (Y/N) only snorted in responce.

"Then please do walk faster." With a roll of his eyes, Levi kept his pace just as slow as it had been before, if not slower on purpose. The guard at the entrance took his invitation and let them in but only after attempting to get a look at (Y/N)’s cleavage - an attempt Levi instantly compromised by vouchsafing him a glare. Much to the raven-haired male’s displeasure, they had to hook hands before walking in so that was exactly what they did.

The raven held back the cringe that was to make itself visible over his sharp features as his gaze faced the frilly decorations hanging from the marble columns and the high ceilings, not to mention the pompous lace ribbons all over the place. His nose was scrunched up in mild disgust as the woman at his side let out a distinct puke-imitation sound that summed up both’s impression of the hall.

"I agree." Levi’s statement made (Y/N) chuckle whilst fiddling with her braid. He guessed discomfort had gotten to her in the crowd.

"What do I do now?" She voiced out her childish concerns, to which he responded with a snort. Levi let go of her hand and handed the bouquet he was holding to the nearest woman visible, which was an old lady less than a foot away from him. She showed shock, then a smile as he bowed and turned back to his escort.

"I can introduce you to some people. We are half an hour late anyway. They must be all here already." She nodded and he led her away into the crowd. People stared at him as he walked in front of her and partially shielded her with his body from other people's contact as she furrowed her eyebrows in embarrassment and uncertainity while being eyed up from all directions from both women and men.

Finally reaching his destination as he witnessed Erwin ahead talking with Nile-the-bitch-Dok, Levi made sure he was noticed quickly by the blond who seemed to get paler by the second he saw the raven and his escort walk his way.

"Good evening.” The raven greeted informally, but the blond had all his attention on something behind Levi's back. Looking back he witnessed (Y/N), hands on her hips and a slight smirk playing on her lips.

"Miss me, boys?" Nile had already turned around and seen the woman himself, which made him the second besides Erwin to nearly gape at her. Levi could wholeheartedly say he didn't understand one bit the happening.

"Look who came back from the dead." Nile eyed (Y/N) with a whistle while Erwin cleared his throat, pale face slowly regaining its normal colour.

"You know I wasn’t dead to begin with, Nile. And you, Erwin - you look a lot worse. Not enjoying life?" The female closed the distance between herself and the men, snatching a glass of wine from the passing waiter.

"More like stuck-up as ever." Nile corrected before Erwin could speak for himself and the woman smiled.

"I'm happy to hear it. But---" she threw Nile a glance before locking gazes with Erwin, "I wasn't talking to you, Commander Pony." The title made Levi's teeth gnaw on the inner side of his cheek as to prevent a cackle. He'd never heard anybody besides himself and Hanji deride Nile in such a manner and even they rarely did it to his face. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier might’ve been clueless as to the happening but he certainly had nothing against the nicknames.

"I see you haven't changed." Erwin stated after chuckling, making (Y/N)'s smirk soften into a genuine smile.

"How could I? Change comes with people and surroundings. Mine haven't changed since you two left."

"A shocker, really." The dark-haired commander added as the woman shot him a playful glare.

"As witty as ever, Nile.”

"What leads you here anyway?" Erwin asked and (Y/N) shot Levi a glance, then turned back to the blond who might’ve come to the conclusion it wasn’t really a ‘what’ that had brought her there - rather a ‘who’.

"A soldier, I’m thinking he might be up in the ranks with how imperative he is. Guessing the name’s up to you." Her slyness made Nile chuckle as Levi shot daggers into his head. Erwin only raised an eyeborw at his at his strongest soldier.

"Is it true that she's your escort, Levi?"

"Sort of." The raven’s statement made the blond sigh before turning to (Y/N) with a smile.

"Can I have the first dance?" Levi didn’t need to hear the words to know there was something more to those two then either let show. He felt irritation at his side. Why? No idea. Before he could feel himself moving, the raven was already standing between the (h/c)-haired female and the commander.

"Actually it's already reserved. She's my escort after all." He tried to keep his voice down, steady and cold, and, well, it went out like a growl he wanted to punch himself for. He turned to look at (Y/N)’s big uncertain eyes and it dawned on him this was exactly why he shouldn’t have brought her along. He was ready to step aside when she laughed.

"I guess Levi's right. I'm reserved. Sorry, Erwin. I'll save you the next one." With that and a pat at the tall blond’s shoulder, (Y/N) smiled at Levi and took his hand - a gesture he was too confused to fight. They were in the middle of the hall and soft violins were playing, echoing off the walls and surrounding all the dancing couples.

There wasn’t an exchange of words - Levi just grabbed (Y/N)'s hand and waist and tried not to bruise them as her small palm glued itself to his shoulder. The fingers he was clutching were delicate and cold and it seemed to him even the gesture of squeezing would break them. Her feet moved swiftly under his command but she made the mistake of being hasty which resulted in the soft sole of her boots repeatedly coming in contact with his shiny dress shoes. Thankfully, her dress was long enough to cover up their clumsiness.

To his own utmost surprise, Levi didn’t feel the need to complain or even speak despite the fact she made it a goal to profusely apologise for her poor dancing skills

"That's why I always refuse dancing. I’m really sorry." She mumbled and Levi looked down at her with uncertainity before meeting Erwin’s gaze among the crowd over her shoulder.

"Who’s the friend you wanted to piss off?"

"Erwin, of course. He's always been the jealous type."

"Such a coincidence." Levi clicked his tongue and (Y/N) quirked an eyebrow at him as he spun her once and then pulled her back to himself.

"He’s your target as well?" She asked and he spun her again under his hand, he was sure she'd step on his foot any seco---

"Indeed." He hissed out slightly towards the end as her boot was yet once again met with his toes.

"Shit, sorry. Well, I can’t say I pity him." She mumbled after apologising hastily, catching back onto his shoulder as he sighed to calm the slight numbness in his toes.

"He'll get over it." The raven stated and the woman in front of him smiled softly, looking down at her feet. Well, not at least there was a possibility she'd prevent another stomp over his feet. "How do you know him anyway?” Levi tried to sound nonchant even though he had no idea why. He didn't care that much for anything but he knew silently spinning along to the violins would be more uncomfortable than this.

"Both he and Nile are my childhood friends. I wish Mike was around here as well. I'd love to see if him and his nose have changed." She snorted at that sentence as Levi rolled his eyes and remembered the morning accident and why exactly Hanji had broken his precious china. Mike was everywhere and if he didn't frighten you the first time you met, it would surely happen afterwards when he appeared out of the blue trying to smell the samples you held. Or in Hanji’s case it was that way since the majority was properly freaked out by his impression and hence didn’t show up around him again.

"Not in the least."

"That's great." (Y/N) laughed heartily, eyes sparkling with glee. Levi thought it very strange that she would be so happy, furthermore over something this insignificant. It wasn't like they lived in an utopia.

"So, childhood friends?" He redirected the topic, pulling her closer when another dancing couple came too close for comfort. (Y/N)’s chest bumped into Levi’s and her forehead hit his chin. He regretted preventing the collision with the other couple when he heard her breath hitch.

"Technically they were already in the military when I was a child, but I consider them that." She straightened out and blinked a few times, staring at his lips and trying to ignore the way he was watching her do it. He nodded weakly, to which she held her breath and looked down at her feet. She cleared her throat, clearly uneasy and he could almost see the question at the tip of her tongue.

“Spit it out.” He commanded, receiving a heavy sigh in return.

"Why did you invite me here when you could've invited literally anybody else? A colleague or a random woman or your girlfriend. I’m not into gossip but you are a popular topic amongst females."

"It’s you because I want to piss off Erwin. Nothing more, nothing less." The raven snorted. Not only was this woman irritatingly observant, but she had a big mouth and now she was butting into his personal shit. He couldn't let that happen.

"The song ended. I think I should go." She let go of him quickly before turning and disappearing into the crowd in search of Erwin as far as Levi could guess.

He didn’t know what it mattered that it was Erwin and not Mike or somebody else. She wasn’t important. He’d met her today. He realised that. Maybe she was just too happy, too evasive with her answers and too involved with his superiors for it to be normal. Maybe Levi just needed to unvail the mystery around her relationship with his colleagues in order for her to become uninteresting.

The only things he knew about her was she knew his superiors and her name was (Y/N). Had it been any other woman he would’ve heard her whole life’s story by now. (Y/N) had a big mouth and lots of comebacks at the ready but she shared nothing about herself, which made Levi wonder what in the holy grail of fuck she was hiding.

Annoyance building up, Levi told himself to stop reading into everything and headed for the punch table. On the way there, he kept reassuring himself that the mysterious (Y/N) was actually normal and plain, and she just hadn’t the time to sing out all her problems to him yet. His mind was overwhelmed by boredom and had obviously decided to imagine a common peasant girl as some alluring puzzle to be build, a mystery to be unravelled. Which was stupid on so many levels he could not begin to describe it. She was normal and stupid, and girly. She had to be. They all were. All he’d met until now anyway.

And here she fell upon his gaze once again, engaging in a lively conversation with Nanaba, Dita, Ness, Hanji and Mike around the punch table. Great, just when he actually wanted some alcohol.

The (f/c) dress she had on herself, he had to admit, looked beyond appealing when on her. Would look even better off her, he was sure. Had this been his Underground-self, he could bet he’d landed her in his bed and then kicked her out the door already. If she could walk properly that is. Brushing the thought off and nearing the table with a snort, he could hear a part of their conversation.

"I can eat it. Come on, give it to me." (Y/N) challenged and Hanji smirked.

"We start on three." The brunette's hand prepared to stike for the hors d'oeuvres on the silver plates next to the table they were near to as (Y/N) narrowed her eyes. "You could never beat me, (Y/N)."

“I'm betting on Hanji." Ness stated as Dita snorted in support.

"I'm for (Y/N)." Nananba commented and Mike nodded along.

"Why don't we bet on it, Zoe? It's always funnier that way." The (h/c)-haired smirked as the mad scientist narrowed her eyes.

"What is it this time?"

"Why not a bottle of that wine you're hiding in the lab?" (Y/N) inquired casually, making Levi’s brows furrow in confusion. Hanji wasn’t allowed to have alcoh---

"I’m not hiding any wine." Hanji’s forehead was covered in sweat. Levi would make sure to note the fact she’d snuck alcohol behind Erwin's back. That would make her shut up if she wanted to blackmail him about Eren’s experiments.

"If you say so.” (Y/N) chuckled with a nod.

"Then whatever the winner wishes for."

"Deal. It's fair." (Y/N) and the others around the table voiced their agreement as the brunette nodded and shook hands with the other female.

"Mike, count down. Dita, count my chocolates. Nanaba, count (Y/N)'s."

"Sure." Nanaba went to (Y/N)'s side and watched as Dita made her way to Hanji's. Levi just assumed they were crazy. They weren't really going to have an eating contest in the middle of the ball right?

"Three." Mike started, making Levi step closer but still out of sight for the contestants. "Two." The dirty blonde took a step back, set on being a referee whilst watching the tension grow with Ness at his side. "One." Both women began stuffing their mouths with chocolate candies, making Levi blink in bafflement.

Disgusting. How could two women - not only one - be so unfeminine for God's sake? His face scrunched up and then he felt a hand come in contact with his shoulder. He turned around to face Erwin who was observing the two women stuffing their faces as their friends counted the number of sweets that had already disappeared down their throats.

"Isn't it extraordinary how there's a second woman in the whole world who wishes to have an eating contest with Hanji when even that new cadet Braus doesn't?" The blond questioned, making the raven snort.

"It sure is disgusting."

"Quite a lot actually." Erwin chuckled, making Levi quirk an eyebrow.

"They've done that before?"

"All the time."

"And?"

"It was always a tie."

Someone can eat as much as shitty glasses. It would've been amazing had Levi not been extremely repulsed by the fact both women were being total pigs while performing it. That was one of Hanji's charms indeed, but (Y/N)---

"Some shit happened between you two?" Levi asked as Erwin looked down at him, then his gaze directed itself to (Y/N).

"(Y/N) never held interest in me like that. You're more her type."

"Her type?" He spat the words like venom. Levi hated being categorised like an object.

"Delinquent who breaks the rules. She never fell for the good guy." Erwin smiled nostalgically as if recalling a bittersweet memory as Levi's face scrunched up in confusion and displeasure. Even after all those years Levi'd been following Erwin, his stupid orders and his beliefs, he still thought he was the same thug - the bad boy - he’d pulled out of the Underground?

"You're the good guy, I suppose."

"Kind of. I wouldn't have been a good pair for her anyway. We both knew it and while she got over it, I couldn’t."

"Did Commander Pony have the same probem?" Levi personally thought it was a bigger possibility of himself sleeping with a donkey than (Y/N) and Dok hooki---”

"No, she and Nile slept together once but neither’s willing to admit it up to this day because they still think it a mistake. Anyways - I think the contest finished." Erwin redirected the topic when witnessing the shock on Levi’s face, then left him staring blankly ahead with the words: "I'll go see the results."

"Cavities here we come." Hanji mumbled.

"I was sure I was going to win this time." (Y/N) groaned as the big group of friends passed Levi. Hanji and (Y/N) were rubbing at their jaws and their disappointed entourage followed while Erwin tried to reassure them it was a tie before it’d even started.

Finally grabbing a drink, Levi tried to keep his mind blank and noticed a few women throwing him slutty glances in passing. Naturally, he ignored them since he wasn’t in the mood for a careless fuck even if it would be with a tall blonde with a perfect body. On his fourth glass of wine, the raven-haired male found himself staring at (Y/N) as she excused herself from her group of friends and headed, for some strange reason, his way. The earlier blonde he’d noticed had also began approaching him.

Levi watched (Y/N) stop in her tracks, eye the blonde and snatch a glass of white wine from a passing waiter. She sipped on her drink, patiently waiting for the blonde to get to him. The conclusion made Levi’s brows furrow just as the gifted female started sweet-talking him into a good time without even introducing herself. Displeasire had settled at the bottom of his stomach as he observed (Y/N)’s unmoving figure.

"So, what do you say we go somewhere else? I hear soldiers are exceptionally giving when it comes to the people they protect.” The blonde took a step forward and Levi tried to step back but his waist had long hit the edge of the punch table. In addition, he would like to see what his escort would do when he was getting sexually harrassed in public.

When the blonde had left no space between their bodies, (Y/N) passed her empty glass to a waiter and quickly approached them before grabbing the tall female’s bare shoulder. The blonde squeaked and turned only to meet a very fiery (e/c) glare.

"Excuse me, I think if my partner hasn’t already dragged you into the nearest closet then he’s not really in the mood for sez right now." (Y/N) was calm and the blonde was obviously not having that.

"How would you know?"

"It's written all over his face. Now go steal some married man from his wife instead of messing with the wrong woman at the wrong table full of objects which have the potential to become a weapon." The blonde was scared shitless, guessing by the smirk Levi witnessed on (Y/N)’s face. She was gone in less than ten seconds, leaving a loudly cackling (h/c)-haired female and a bored Levi, feeling his stomach churn unpleasantly. "God, I love their faces so much!" She exclaimed, then smiled at Levi. "You wanted to bang her or I was right to say you would’ve led her away already?"

"I'm not obliged to answer your dumb questions."

"Yeah, it was a dumb one."

"What happened? Got tired around so many of your ol' friends?" He asked, clearly irritated with her behaviour, which on the other side covered up the fact he wanted to know the answer to an extent.

"I was actually going to ask if you'd dance with me. I noticed you falling in love with the feeling of my boots crushing your toes." She smirked playfully and leaned on the table next to him, making him stare her down in slight bewilderment. He considered the possibility of her being tipsy if not drunk already. He was rolling his eyes when she grabbed his forearm and dragged him towards the middle of the hall. He didn’t complain but he wasn’t bursting with enthusiasm either.

"It's a faster song this time, though." His hands had just settled on her waist as she voiced the warning.

"Twice the fun for me." Levi dragged out sarcastically while (Y/N) curved backwards with a laugh, making Levi's face soften just slightly as she picked herself back up and wrapped both arms around his neck.

"I'll be leading you around the room like crazy." She stated with a smile on her lips, the braid already coming undone above her shoulder as it tickled the soft skin of her neck.

"Leading me?"

"Totally." She grinned at him when the music played and her hands tugged him along, wherever she wanted him to go. Before he knew it they were spinning and he wasn’t in control, but he knew he was either drunk or this woman was truly as interesting as she seemed.

The latter would be rather troublesome for him.

"You must be drunk." Levi concluded.

He was yet once again so irritated.

And not at anything else. This time it was at himself.

What in all of his right senses and logic had made him fucking escort her home at the end of the night he didn't know. He told Erwin and the others to leave, then went back to the town square knowing nothing of the location of her home as she was slightly limping against his shoulder, laughing at stupid jokes and insults he said, then looked as serious as she could, going back to her gooey mood less than five seconds later.

It was an unending circle and he was getting so annoyed with it. And with himself. Why couldn't he just get this over with?

"Nah. I rarely am." She stumbled and almost fell in that tight dress she wore, but he caught her and rolled his eyes. Both of them reeked of alcohol, but at least he wasn't truly drunk.

"Where do you live?" He asked and she looked around, her narrowed eyes searching for something.

"Why isn't Erwin here? Where is Erwin?"

"Stop asking questions and answer mine. Where do you live?" He repeated this time more harshly. It wasn't because she asked where Erwin was, more because of the fact that she was taking some of his own time for sleeping and rest after such events - not that he would rest anyway, he'd probably start his paperwork or something.

"Oh, I live near the dress store, just at the right alleyway and ahead until you arrive at a pub. Turn left there and look around for a green barrel in front of an old house." She was in serious mode and he thanked the Gods for that, then started leading her away in said directions.

When they arrived at the place, Levi looked up at the old building, reading out the words above the entrance and then looking back at the female that was leaning on him. He would've probably thrown her away until now, but he wasn't that bad.

"This is a pub."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot that I quitted. Well, just leave me off in the street there and I'll go to sleep a little." She wasn't making fucking sense with that sentence.

"Are you fucking mad? Isn't there anywhere else you can stay? At a friend's house or something?" He asked and she laughed, back in gooey mode as he waited for it to wear off.

"I think not. I usually live wherever I get a work at, so I try to find another job before actually quitting the previous one, but this time it was just on impulse and I have nowhere else to go. But really you don't need to bother because of it. I have slept on the streets before. Just leave me off and let's say our farewells." She smiled at him and he scoffed, then let go of her body and she almost fell down, making him roll his eyes and sigh as he picked her up once again, literally throwing her over his shoulder and going back to the town square.

She didn't comply, just giggled from time to time as her hair was swinging from left to right and she was fading in and out of consciousness, making him take deep breaths and try to ignore the urge to do what she had requested of him earlier and leave her on the street.

After he called a carriage and ordered where to, he set her on the seat across from him and she literally fell asleep immediately. He scowled at her and pursed his lips at her peacefully sleeping form, calculating things as many times as possible to make sure he wouldn't be caught in the act with what he was going to do.

It was going to be hard to sneak her in and out of the headquarters, but taking the fact she had no home to go to he could do that much. The HQ wasn't a charity home for people from the streets however, so he would have some problems if anyone were to learn about this. Maybe at the ball Erwin, Mike and the others were long lost friends of hers, but on their territory they were soldiers that had to keep rules, so he couldn't trust them about it either.

Throughout the ride, Levi just took his time to space off while looking either at the night sky through the carriage window or at the woman's sleeping face.

That was until the carriage actually took its stop and Levi paid the driver, then picked (Y/N) up - this time in bridal style - and asked himself how would someone not fucking notice him as he enters. But at last, somehow he managed to get himself and the woman in his arms through the doors of the infirmary, laying her down on a lone bed at the corner of the room just under a window, but just as he was to turn around and leave, unfortunately enough she woke up and looked at him with those big (e/c) eyes of hers in slight confusion and surprise.

"Where are we?"

"I brought you to the HQ. Sleep here and early in the morning I'll come to wake you up."

"I guess it'll be for the best. Wait--- where will I be going afterwards?" She asked and he snorted.

"Nowhere. I'll get you a job at the stables. Or even set you as a cook if you can actually make something that doesn't taste like shit. We'll see." He headed for the door.

"You're actually going to find me a job? Here?"

"I told you not to question my word a lot of times." He clicked his tongue just as his hand went on the doorknob.

"Yeah, I guess you did."

"Just don't let your dumb ass be seen until I come in the morning." He ordered and didn't even need to look at her to know how her face looked at that moment.

"Hey, Levi."

"Hm?" He turned around and his stomach took yet once again an unpleasant for the short corporal turn. He shouldn't have turned. Her grin was facing him - form as messy as it could be on the bed, dress in creases, hair let down, eyes shining more than the fucking moon out of the window - the moonlight was making her visage look as if glowing in a way.

"Thanks for everything." She stated and he stared at her in a slight trance before snapping his head back to the dark hallway outside. With a deep hum resonating in his throat, he nodded and then exited the door, ready to head for his office then finish all work he didn't get to in the afternoon.

He was walking down the hall with a cup of freshly brewed coffee in hand already knowing that the moment (Y/N) wakes up she would---

"Ah, fuck, my head is splitting in two!"

He heard a loud groan from inside the infirmary and with a sigh, a big check standing in front of the thought he didn't even get to finish before he got there, he entered inside the empty infirmary and his eyes were immediately glued to the figure of the woman on the bed he had left her on last night. Her form was frozen in mid-sit-up, hand to her temple, hair a mess, the sleeve of her dress slipping off her shoulder and showing her skin.

As Levi neared the bed, he caught the smell of soap from her hair and the one of alcohol still coating her body. He sat at the edge of the mattress and she looked at him with a groggy smile, half-lidded eyes grinning in their own way as he handed her the coffee with the words: "Drink some before you get up."

She caught the cup and lifted it to her lips with a pair of shaky hands before pausing and grinning at him.

"Thank you, Levi." He hummed in appreciation. She may have looked like a disaster, her breath may have or may have not smelled, her clothes may have reeked of alcohol and he may have been partly forced into helping her when he could dump her somewhere along the way - and he definitely would have if he was his old self - but something on the inside made him think in that single moment that she was very very beautiful. And he didn't feel so irritated anymore.

And that was so not him.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman #levi fanfiction #reader insert

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kouei116 · 4 years

Text

Jakou no Lyla - Trap of musk: European night

Come, look at me. In return, I'll show you the most wonderful dream.

Well, I'm supposed to study for an exam, I thought I'll only procrastinate & play for a litttle bit, but... Welcome to the newest hell I'm currently stuck in - Jakou no Lyla (人´ω｀*)♡

It is originally a 3 part PC otome game but has been ported to the Switch. This game is one out of 3 games from triAngle project, so... there is a Spy Ending where MC will be with both guys ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Longer details under cut.

Part 1 European Night - Vince Lugan (seiyuu Taniyama Kishou, e.g. Amnesia Memories Ikki) on the left hand side of the above photo - Rolan Crydelle (seiyuu Tachibana Shinnosuke e.g. MidCin Louis) on the right hand side of the above photo, my 2nd fav

Part 2 Asian Night - Korei Rin (seiyuu Okitsu Kazuyuki, e.g. Brothers Conflict Masaomi) the white hair guy sniffing MC's shoulder in 1st photo, my fav :3 - Kirei Rin (seiyuu Sato Takuya) the black hair guy at top right corner in the 1st photo

Part 3 Arabian Night - Lizaru Shanasa (seiyuu Morikawa Toshiyuki, e.g. DL Carla) the tan-skin guy with a whip in 1st photo - Jemiru (seiyuu Murase Ayumu) the guy with upside-down net bra(?lol) over his eyes in 1st photo

The popular ranking (voted in Oct 2019) result is Lizaru (1), Jemiru (2), Kirei (3), Korei (4), Vince (5), Rolan (6).

Vince: ... I want you

MC uses her special tattoo to seduce Vince, it is working... kinda. But Vince is a tough cookie, he realizes something isn't right with himself, grasps his short sword and squeezes his right hand on the sharp blade in front of the speechless MC. He wants the pain to pull him away from the desire for MC.

V: Come in... Hey, turn this way. Look at me, Y...

During the Conference break, V saw MC talking with Rolan on the way to the market. He got very grumpy aweee. At the market, R fell down, MC helped R get up and her clothes got muddy too. When she returns to the palace, grumpy Vince saw her muddy clothes and told her to take a bath with him. He tried to kiss her but she pushed him away, poor V :’(

Y: Rolan-sama, please sto..

The special tattoo doesn't last long so the salon master comes to the palace to help her refresh. I thought she only has one on her chest, but apparently there is one on her back too :/ She has to keep it uncovered for 2 hours to dry. R came by and accidentally was affected by the tattoo. He started touching and kissing her back. She knows she has to push him away but she doesn't want to because she already knows abt his tragic past. She’s afraid pushing him will hurt his feeling (I'll explain his past in his route summary). She tried very hard to grab the veil, cover her tattoo and R turned back to normal, frantically apologized to her.

R: You don't need to think about anything. Surrender everything to me...

MC (name is Shirien) is a dancer at show salon Kamal. Her parents were killed, the village was destroyed. The salon master took care of her and her best friend Aisha so she wants to do everything to repay him. The master also helped another kid (who arrived heavily injured) named Jermiru and asked MC to look after J as his older sister. MC and J works as secret spies for the master. MC has a special henna tattoo (made from teromeana mixed with medicine herbs) that can seduce men to the point they lose all reasoning. Then she uses a sleeping needle on them to make them sleep & dream that they are ichaicha-ing with her but in reality, she tries to find materials/info in their rooms for her spy mission. In addition, she collects blood of young healthy ‘excited' men to help research a cure for the salon master's sickness. The master also prohibits her to kiss the men targets because it can sway her heart (hence she pushed Vince away in the bath when he tried to kiss her).

In part 1 European night, her clients are Theo (Vince's best friend) and Rolan Crydelle. Her mission is to seduce Vince to find out the whereabout of Pamela - Rolan’s younger sister - who they think was kidnapped by Vince when V destroyed the Crydelle kingdom. Theo will pretend to lose the drinking game and gives MC to V as a winning trophy.

V is a tough cookie to crack though, he pays 100% attention on his country/work, doesn't want to waste any time with women. In his country Lugan, women are not allowed to speak unless they are given permission. This is because in their history, a king lost part of the territory bc he spent too much time on women. That territory becomes the Crydelle kingdom. In contrast, Crydelle is led/dominated by women, while men only stays inside the house and cannot go out unless given permission by women. Rolan is a shy and naive because he is indoors all his life, he cares deeply about his younger sister Pamela, he carries a doll that looks exactly like her.

I only know a little bit about V from the common route and his appearance in Rolan's route, but he isn't as cruel as the rumour says. The more time MC spends with him for her spy mission, she realizes he (and his touch on her) are gentle and kind. Everything he does is for the benefit of his country. He did destroy the Crydelle kingdom, killed the royal family (except Rolan who was living in a secret room) so other princes at the Conference sneer at Vince during the policy discussion. Personally, I think the choices Vince suggests are actually effective and to the point, not wasting time trying to be merciful. In Rolan's good end, he even helps Rolan save MC. He gives me the IkeSen Nobunaga and MLQC Victor's vibes.

The last Rolan photo above the cut is after the confrontation with Eleanor (who looks exactly like his sister Pamela but said she is not Pamela), R is very sad and ran to the old harem area to be alone. MC chased after him and tried to comfort him. He hugged her and started kissing near her chest, offered to make her feel good and begged her to not leave him (poor bb ;u;) MC stopped him, tried to calm him down asking him to tell her everything. In short, due to his past, R always wants to keep people happy, he thinks pleasing people is the only thing he can do to make his life has some values, the only way to keep people staying with him. MC told him none of these are true. Even after hearing his past, MC didn't look down on/feel disgusted abt him, and told him from now on, he will learn many other ways to make people happy. This makes him very happy, he asked to hug her for a bit longer ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡

---

Tbh, when I first looked at the suitors, I thought I'd go with Vince, but oughhh Rolan stole my heart during the common route. I guess not likely many people will like Rolan (he actually ranks 6th out of 6 suitors, my poor bb ;u;). It’s okay, I luv Rolan. I love his character growth throughout the route, desperately trying to grow stronger to protect MC. And his yandere doll-carrying creepy vibe. His 2nd bad end broke my heart badly ~ like CxM Shiraishi's bad end 4 level of heartbreak（ｉДｉ）I will write his route summary after I (hopefully) pass my exam.

I enjoy this game much more than I expected: kisses sound yayyy (not DL’s level of kissing & blood sucking but enough to burn my ears huehue), nice arts and BGM (melancholy music to stab on my heart even more while reading bad ends, nice!). I prefer the bad ends, they are more haunting and memorable to me; good ends everything get solved quite easily, but overall the story is fine so far. I get completely sucked into this game and finished all 6 ends for Rolan and Korei in 4 days (what is sleep, what is exam :3) Normally I only play the routes of the guys I’m interested in then move on to next game, unless I want to collect PS Vita trophies and autoplay. But I have high hope that since this game can surprisingly change my favourite from Rolan to Korei (still very close, I luv both of them lotsss) from the route story, I should read everybody’s routes properly and see who my favourite are in the end. My 2020 otome game year is off to a wonderful start already ahhh~ (*´╰╯`๓)♬

#jakou no lyla #trap of musk #vince lugan #rolan crydelle #kouei116 translation #kouei116 nintendoswitch

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willow-salix · 4 years

Text

Here's my offering for the second FabFiveFeb with the awesome @gumnut-logic focusing on the gorgeous Gordon. I used two of the prompts. Enjoy!

Selene's eyes cut to the side away from the book that she promised John she'd read but was continuing to boggle her brain.

He was there again, hanging around near the bedroom door, haunting the hallway, stalking the sleeping quarters of the house. And it was getting annoying, she'd have to do something about it. It was hard enough to concentrate on "Unlocking the Universe" without the constant distractions of the sighing, whining, moaning apparition outside.

The figure moved past the door again, looking in at her. She tossed the book aside and sat up.

"Gordon! What the hell is wrong with you?"

The sun lightened, tousled blonde head popped around the door frame.

"Oh, Selly, are you done reading?"

"Well I am now."

He bounded in like an enthusiastic puppy, dropping down on the end of the bed, forcing her to move her feet quickly out of the way.

"Did you want something?"

"No, it's all good." He glanced around, his eyes taking in the new editions to his brother's room. Since Selene had been in his life John had definitely lightened up, growing more comfortable in his own skin and spending more time with them all but, even though Selene had gone shopping with Grandma and Virgil to pick out a few things to make herself feel more at home, John's uniqueness still shined through.

They had all wondered if Selene would take advantage of John's suggestion that she redecorate his room, but they should have known better. Selene never acted as you would expect her too, very much like all the women in their lives. They were used to strong women that never followed the crowd, Kayo, Grandma, Penelope, it stood to reason that anyone the brothers met would be just as special.

John's posters and star charts were still on the walls, but a few new types of chart had joined them, ones that showed the phases of the moon and its meanings, the sun and the solstices and the constellations related to star signs.

Her books were intermingled with his own, her clothes were in his wardrobe mixed in with his, items of makeup and toiletries were scattered around his bathroom and little interesting trinkets and her divination tools had joined his collection of space rocks, awards and celestial models on his shelves. The room had been softened with the addition of softly glowing lamps, fluffy blankets, a squishy armchair that Selene liked to curl up in and a couple of house plants.

But the most interesting item to appear was what she called her altar, a small, scarf draped table nestled in a corner near the window. It held her tools, candles, crystals and other interesting things he didn't know the use of. The room now smelled of sweet incense and warm candle wax instead of its scent of furniture polish and occasionally John's shower gel.

He had expected the room to feel different, but he could still sense his brother's presence in there even though he was currently up in Five. Somehow they had managed to blend effortlessly, a natural evolution of the two.

Gordon would never admit it but he had moments of intense jealousy when he saw the two of them together. Not that he begrudged his brother the happiness he had obviously found, nor that he saw Selene as anything but a much loved sister who often seemed like a female Scott, put there to worry, boss him around and force him to eat.

No, he just wished he had the same thing. It seemed rather unfair that his brother could manage to meet someone in such a random way and find his perfect partner when, try as he might, he could never seem to get any closer to the one who held his heart in her perfectly manicured hand.

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. It seemed that every time they got close to their moment something or someone got in the way.

"Spit it out."

He jerked out of his musings. "What?"

"Whatever it is that you're thinking so hard about," she reached out and smoothed her thumb down the scrunched up skin between his eyebrows.

She was right, he had been hovering, mostly because he was trying to get up the guts to not only ask for help but put his plan into action. He guessed it was now or never.

"Sel, I need your help with something, call it my birthday present."

Selene sat up a little straighter. "OK, obviously I'll help with anything, unless it's a prank on your brother, in which case I'll still help but I'll deny all knowledge and throw you under the bus in a heartbeat."

"Good to know," he grinned, her teasing as always, putting him at ease. "Promise you won't tell anyone about this either."

She touched her hand to her heart and drew a little cross. "Cross my heart, I won't tell a soul."

"OK, first I need to show you something, but we're gonna need transport."

***

Selene's nose was pressed against the window of the little sub, her eyes drinking in the sight of the world outside.

"Wow…this is just…wow." She had never expected there to be so many colours illuminated by the powerful lights of Four. A moving rainbow of waving, pulsing, rippling beauty that covered the sea floor, building up into what could only be described as an underwater garden. Mounds of coral in all colours created a hilly backdrop for the shoals of colourful fish that swam lazily around them.

"Better than space?" Gordon nudged her playfully with his elbow.

"I will never admit it to your brother, but it might just top it. This is incredible, I mean, I've never even been scuba diving."

"You've never…" he shook his head in equal parts amazement and disappointment. "That's it, I'm teaching you to dive. It's amazing, you know John used to join me a lot, he likes to skindive," he saw the blank look on her face. "Where you dive without a suit, just with an aqualung and flippers. He helped teach me to swim you know, Scott wanted to throw me in and let me work it out for myself as Dad did to him and Virg, but John was insistent that he help."

"That's so cute."

"No it's not, it's manly and the complete opposite of cute."

"Sorry, not cute at all, you're right," but her grin said he would never change her mind, she was just humouring him.

"We're nearly there," he said, changing the subject. "It should be around this area, I worked with Dr Forsythe at the Living Oceans foundation, who specialises in Coral Reef conservation, the results ended up being pretty positive."

"Is that where we're going now?"

He nodded. "You should start seeing some any minute now."

It was nice and quite interesting to see the way Gordon handled his craft. It was nowhere near as big, fancy or fast as the other Thunderbirds, but he acted like it was an extension of himself. She was used to seeing Gordon as the playfully mischievous one that she often caught plotting something, or out on a mission when he was all seriousness with the odd burst of light. This was different, this was his element and he was beyond comfortable. It was nice to see him so relaxed and happy.

The first flicker caught his eye and he paused, his finger pointing the way. Her eyes followed his directions, growing wider as she saw the result of his months of effort.

"That… is truly amazing, boo. She'll love this."

"So you'll help me get her out here?"

"Oh, you can count on it."

***

"I do so enjoy our little shopping trips," Penelope tucked her arm though Selene's, "you always find such interesting little shops that I would never have thought to look in."

They had wandered all over Union Square and were now making their way down to the bay, Selene having had a nice little restaurant recommended where they could have dinner.

"I love that dress you got, you suit vintage, it will look beautiful on you. I just wish my style suited it a bit more, but we can't all be blonde and beautiful."

"Oh hush, I happen to know a certain space monitor who thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

Selene smiled, catching sight of their destination.

"And I happen to know an aquanaut who thinks the same about you," Selene pointed down to the beach where Four sat, surrounded by people.

The shock on Penelope's face was a sight to behold, it took a lot to surprise her, but they had definitely managed it.

"Don't keep him waiting."

"But what about dinner? What will you do, Parker isn't returning for at least four hours?"

"John's picking me up in an hour in my car, we've got a date night. Now go," she gave Penelope a gentle push towards the railings.

Feeling uncharacteristically unsure as to what she was doing and rather ambushed, Penelope slowly descended the steps down to the beach. She had absolutely no idea what was going on, why was he even here, on his birthday of all days, when he should be celebrating with his family.

The back hatch of Four opened to reveal a grinning Gordon. He cambered out, stretching to his full height but instead of the standard blue uniform he was dressed in smart, grey trousers and a plain white shirt with not a palm tree in sight. His usually messy hair was brushed and an attempt had clearly been made to tame the unruly mop.

"Lady Penelope."

"Gordon, happy birthday."

"It is now, and also," he reached back into his craft and drew out a bouquet of pink roses, "happy Valentines day."

Penelope could feel an uncharacteristic blush warming her cheeks as she took the flowers.

"Will you do me the honour of being my Valentine tonight?"

She nodded. "I'd like that very much."

"I've got something to show you, care to take a little trip with me?"

"How could I turn down such an offer?"

She took his offered hand and climbed aboard.

***

Penny had been under water more times than she could count, being an experienced diver and having a car that was more than waterproof, but nothing compared to sitting beside Gordon Tracy as he piloted them deeper into the ocean.

He'd programmed in the coordinates and left the small craft on autopilot as he produced a picnic basket from her favourite London deli, filled with all her favourites.

She would never have believed that he had it in him to put together such a romantic gesture, he'd likely had a little help since Selene was obviously involved, but she found she didn't really mind.

It was nice to be alone together, especially with no chance of interruption bar an emergency. No nosy Parker to wedge himself between them, no darling Bertie to demand their attention, no rescuees to reassure, no brothers to interrupt. Just them and the quiet peace of the ocean. It was rather blissful.

Now that they had time to talk they made the most of it, chatting between bites of crusty bread, tangy cheese, succulent grapes and a very palatable white wine, catching up on their lives the past few months.

She looked more beautiful than he had expected, dressed down in casual jeans and a cosy sweater, clothes that one wore to go shopping with a friend rather than to a society event. It was strange but most definitely not unpleasant to see her out of her comfort zone and designer clothes, to see the real woman underneath. This was the one he'd wanted to get to know, the one he was drawn to.

Penelope found her gaze drawn over and over to the gentle curve of his lips as she watched him eat, recalling just how soft they had felt during their one, brief kiss. She hadn't planned it, she'd just been overwhelmed by everything, seeing him back on active duty after his brush with death had been emotional for her and she'd thrown aside all decorum, giving in to the urge. Now she wanted to be able to do that again, wanted to lean in, close the distance between them and lose herself in the unique presence that was Gordon Tracy.

He blinked his big caramel eyes at her and she was done for, she inched forward as he did the same...BEEP…

Gordon leapt back into the pilots seat as they neared a reef, growing instantly more serious as he took back control of the little craft from the autopilot now they had reached their destination, steering it expertly past clusters of coral and waving fronds of exotic underwater plants and little darting fish.

Gordon watched her eyes drinking in the sight of the reef he'd so lovingly helped to cultivate, to save for future generations.

"I've been working with a guy specialising in marine conservation breeding, basically breeding hardier fish with those that are endangered, trying to create new breeds that will survive the changing climate."

"Oh really? That's fascinating. Were you successful?"

Gordon didn't speak for a second, guiding the nose of the sub around a particularly large group of pink puffy anemones. There they were, still in their shoal, lazily swimming, almost exactly where he and Selene had found them two days previously.

"You tell me," he nodded towards the small, genetically perfect saddleback butterflyfish.

"Oh my," Penelope stared at the fish, their bodies sparkling in the light of Four's high beams. There was only one way to describe the shine of their scales, the way they seemed to be a silvery pearl colour one moment and with a flick of their body you saw a rainbow of colours…

"Iridescent," she whispered in awe. "I have never seen anything so beautiful. And you helped create them?"

Gordon smiled proudly, watching his babies swimming happily around the craft as they floated gently through the shoal. They were graceful, unbothered by their presence, seemingly curious as they came right up to the glass to investigate. "Yep, I got to name them too."

"You did? What are they called?" Penelope tickled her finger against the window, laughing with delight as a fish followed her movements, booping its nose on the glass.

"Well, obviously they have their species name of Chaetodon Ephipippium but in English," he paused, slightly embarrassed now that he was here with her. He took a deep breath, remembering what Selene had instructed him, be bold, be brave, be daring."In English it's a Pretty Penny."

She blinked, unprepared for the wave of emotion his information provoked. He'd named them after her. These beautiful, unique creatures he'd created would forever be a reminder of just how special he was.

"That's…well…it's very flattering, and they are certainly very pretty," Penelope turned her head, hoping he wouldn't see her blush. She didn't know what to say, how to react.

Gordon's eyebrows drew down in a frown, did she not like them? Had he been wrong? Be bold, be brave…He reached out a hand and cupped her chin gently, turning her back to face him.

"Do you not like them?"

She covered his hand with hers, managing a shaky smile. "No, I love them."

"Then what's the problem?"

"We can't, we can't do this, not now." She gently pulled his hand away and set it aside.

"Why not? Give me one good reason?" he refused to let go of her hand. "Just one. Tell me you don't want me and I'll back off."

"What about finding your father? The launch of the new Zero-X?"

"That isn't a reason not to, that's a reason to take every chance we can and act on it. We don't know what we're going to find up there, if we will even find anything at all. If this and International Rescue itself has taught us anything, it's that life is too short and too unpredictable to waste opportunities by being cautious and scared. You have to grab your happiness with both hands."

"This could change things between us, and not for the better."

"Or it could make it more amazing. Look at John, he took a leap of faith and I've never seen him happier. I want that, Penny, I want that with you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jewellery box, opening it to reveal a natural pearl, carved into the shape of a seashell, strung on a delicate gold chain.

"What do you say Valentine? Will you be mine?"

His handsome face was full of hope but also wariness, fear of rejection. Would it be so bad to risk her heart on one such as he? Gordon was a joker, he rarely ever took anything seriously, but here he was, the most sincere she'd ever seen him.

He was one of the good guys, he saved people, he didn't hurt them. He was worth taking a risk for.

"Tell me you don't want me," he whispered again, a plea for her to tell him the truth. She was powerless to resist.

"I can't," she whispered back as she moved closer.

His lips brushed hers in the softest of kisses, his mouth catching her little sigh of relief as his arms slid around her waist, pulling her closer. There was no one to interrupt them, no one to tell them no, no one but them.

No matter what happened in the future, good or bad, they would always have this moment, they would have each other, and the world would have the pretty little fishes that floated outside their little sub of solitude.

#gordon tracy #pen and ink #FabFiveFeb #Thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds are go

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gentlejack · 4 years

Text

were i fit for another world, how gladly would i go there.

I am resolved not to let my life pass without some private memorial that I may hereafter read, perhaps with a smile.

FULL NAME: Anne Lister.

NICKNAME(S): Gentleman Jack / Jack The Lass ( read: “big old homo” ), Fred or Freddy to certain of her lovers.

AGE: 41

SPECIES: Lesbian (a species of its own?).

NATIONALITY: British.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: See: species.

OCCUPATION: Landowner, world traveller, womaniser.

FINANCIAL STANDING: Landed gentry.

FANDOM: Gentleman Jack.

FACE CLAIM: Suranne Jones.

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS: Rebecca Battle & Jeremy Lister.

SIBLINGS: Marian (younger sister and very much an annoyance in Anne’s eyes); four brothers - one older, three younger (all dead).

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: Ann Walker (verse dependent).

CLOSEST FRIENDS: Aunt Anne; Isabella Norcliffe - a former lover.

RIVALS: Society, an assortment of men daring to cross her path on a bad day, her sister (playfully).

Love scorned to leave the ruin desolate; & Time & he have shaded it so sweetly, my heart still lingers in its old abiding place.

PHYSICAL TRAITS

EYE COLOUR(S): Dark brown.

HAIR COLOUR(S): Dark brown.

HEIGHT: 173 cm.

BODY BUILD: Athletic, strong, tall, upright posture.

NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: A dashing wardrobe, confident gait, and memorable facial features.

SMELLS: Earth, fresh air, heavy wool, ink, slight whiff of eau de cologne.

CLOTHES: Top hats, long skirts, silken cravats, waistcoats, fine button-up shirts, leather boots, billowing greatcoats, gloves.

BODY LANGUAGE: Proud, active, fearless, energetic; she has brought Efficiently Butch-Stomping Whilst Shouldering Aside An Assortment Of Men to utter perfection.

It was my journal that frightened people. She had made up her mind not to open her lips before me.

PHOBIAS AND DISEASES

FEARS: Loneliness. Failure. Conformity. Captivity. Heartbreak.

MENTAL ISSUES: Obsessive Tendencies.

PHYSICAL DISORDERS: Endometriosis.

PERSONALITY

USUAL MOOD/EXPRESSION: Carelessly self-assertive.

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral.

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Ravenclaw.

FIVE PROMINENT TRAITS: Passion, faith, seduction, knowledge, freedom.

INTERESTS: Mountaineering, geology, meteorology, history, architecture, botany, neuroscience, classical literature, swordsmanship, medicine, anatomy, languages, politics, palaeontology, travelling, women.

BAD HABITS: A certain tendency to brush aside the concerns of others; a sharp tongue & scathing sarcasm - she’s quick to say a hurtful thing or two, this one, quite lacking in delicacy or social etiquette. Money has a tendency to run through her fingers rather faster than she expected. Rumour has it she’s an opportunist, but one thing’s for certain: she values logic and strategy over the regard for others and keeps her heart well-shielded beneath an occasional armour of arrogance and grandeur. Beware of her fiery temper … and her whirlwind coach-driving, as it so happens.

GOOD HABITS: Generosity and an abundance of love to give. Anne is a free spirit, a scientist at heart, very charismatic and in the proud possession of a most winning smile. She values what is hers and remains fiercely protective of her loved ones. Anne is a leader, a care-taker, someone who shoulders pain, responsibility and inconvenience so that others will not have to. She gives as freely and readily as she takes and has a keen, joyful mind.

I love & only love the fairer sex & thus beloved by them in turn, my heart revolts from any other love than theirs.

BIOGRAPHY

Anne is the oldest surviving child of Rebecca Battle and Jeremy Lister. Born in Market Weighton on the 3rd of April in 1791, Anne received a clerical education from a private tutor & reverend. Her exploration of her lesbian tendencies began after the year 1804, when she met her first love at Manor House School in York. To absolutely no one’s surprise, Anne was kicked out of boarding school for her lesbian relationship. She had soon enough begun to make rather a name for herself as an untameable young woman determined to seduce her female companions and break traditional gender roles (and quite a few hearts along the way). Since the academical world was denied to her, she continuously sought out private lessons from leading scientists and teachers. In her adult years, she received a one-on-one education in anatomy and palaeontology on behalf of Georges Cuvier in Paris.

Anne quickly cultivated a passion for – well, not only lesbianism, but also classical literature, mountaineering, science, and travelling. After her uncle’s death, she inherited his estate, Shibden Hall, though she had been acting as the head of the family for some time, running the coal business and organising the tenancy. She accumulated a fair amount of wealth over the years and has no qualms spending it on her extravagant lifestyle - but can she afford what her heart desires most - a wife? We shall see …

IMPORTANT WOMEN IN ANNE’S PAST & PRESENT

Eliza Raine: Anne’s first lover, whom she shared a room with at boarding school as a teenage girl. Isabella Norcliffe: A former girlfriend of Anne’s, nicknamed “Tib”. They met in 1810 and remained friends throughout Anne’s life, though Anne heavily disapproves of Isabelle’s alcoholism. Mariana Lawton: The woman who caused Anne to wear black, since Mariana’s marriage to a man plunged Anne into deep mourning. They met in 1814 and still uphold frequent contact, occasionally meeting up for a bit of a lesbian romp. Maria Barlow: A widow Anne met in Paris and maintained a relationship with for two years, between 1824 and 1826, before they fell apart and Anne returned to England. Vere Hobart: Another addition to a long list of women who left Anne in favour of becoming a man’s wife. Vere is Anne’s latest love before meeting Ann Walker. She settled down in Hastings with her for the duration of a winter, firmly planning on spending the rest of her life in her company. Until, that is, she met Vere’s groom-to-be. Ann Walker: Wealthy, sweet, kind little Miss Walker. Surely Anne is not in love with her. Surely she cares little about her company. Surely this is all just a game. Surely Anne just courts her for her money and social standing. Certainly. Doubtlessly. Definitely.

ANNE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Frankly speaking, Anne LOVES to flirt - a bit of good-natured, harmless flirtation is one of her favourite pastimes, regardless of her current relationship status. When she’s not committed to another woman, she’s quite ready to take things further & far beyond a mere exchange of charm. Anne is very confident in her sexuality and wastes no time obsessing over the 19th century morality of her conquests. She loves women, she loves being around them, she loves looking at them and courting them, and she loves being intimate with them behind closed doors.

But it is important to note that all of those affairs are private. Due to the nature of the society she lives in, Anne can not let herself be seen openly kissing a woman and confirming the many rumours circulating about her and her female “acquaintances” ( who, by the way, she keeps in close touch with even after years. You physically CAN’T avoid Anne’s exes forever).

When Anne falls for someone, she falls hard and fast. She becomes very attached and demonstrates the deepest care and affection. But even so, she knows how to set boundaries for herself, regardless of what her heart wants. She has been thoroughly educated on looking out for herself in a relationship. If she is hurt beyond a certain point, she’ll be gone. Additionally, she can be calculating in her choice of partners, particularly when it comes to (unofficial) marriage. Anne is the head of her family and the one in charge of running Shibden, so any permanent commitment to a woman depends first and foremost on her lover’s social and financial standing.

( Unless … you manage to change her mind. )

See here for sexual boundaries & preferences.

TL;DR: Anne Lister is best summed up in the words of my girlfriend, who ever so wisely described her as follows: Anne: I'm very calm and classy. Also Anne: STOMP STOMP STOMP TANTRUM TANTRUM TANTRUM STOMP STOMP LESBIAN ROMP STOMP STOMP.

#( out of shibden. )#i dare to say i am like no one in the whole world. ( anne lister )

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oldearthcartography · 4 years

Note

32 to 36 for the book meme :D

32: Who’s your favorite fantasyauthor?

oh man... favourite is such a hard thing for me... because I often have different flavours of favourite so have 3 very different authors:

Patricia C. Wrede because the Enchanted Forest Chronicles were my gateway drug into fantasy, especially girl/women centred

Terry Pratchett because... TERRY PRATCHETT

Jacqueline Carey - these books are basically just comfort books for me honestly I have reread them many times and I love the characters

33: Who’s your favorite Sci-Fiauthor?

N. K. Jemisin - Broken Earth is a little more science fantasy than pure Sci-Fi but hnnng.... so good

Douglas Adams because... Douglas Adams

William Gibson

34: List five OTPs

(do you ever get asked a question and you know you have a billion answers but they all fly away at that exact moment and you can only actually think of your three oldest and the most recent addition and have to wrack your brain to add more... but like I KNOW I’m going to think of 10 after I post this XD)

Legolas and Gimli

Eowyn and Faramir (listen, just because it’s canon doesn’t make it invalid)

Morwen and Telemain (same point as above, enchanted forest chronicles)

Alexia Tarabotti and/or Imogen Hale and Genevieve Lefoux (Gail Carriger’s parasolverse)

Amaranthe and Sicarius (The Emperor’s Edge because slow burns get me)

35: Name a book you consider to beterribly underrated

This one is hard for me because I rarely actually pay attention to what other people are saying about books except for my friends when they recommend them, and you all have fabulous tastes XD

So I’m going to just cop out and say the Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger (even though I haven’t heard anything against them) because in general, I find absolutely delightful fluff reading is underrated and those books are an utter frivolous delight (and I may currently be in the middle of a re-read) XD

36: Name a book you consider to beterribly overrated

GRR Martin’s series... I can’t remember if it was the third or fourth book that I read through and realised that LITERALLY NOTHING important had actually happened other than most of the characters I was actually interested in were dead or presumed dead generally in ways that weren’t even interesting and definitely did nothing to further plot. But basically, we were in the same position we had started the book in and I was just... done.

There are a lot of other books I started reading because they were meant to be good and then I just said, “nope” but none of them sprang immediately to mind, probably because I put them out of mind as soon as I put them down XD

#gpoy #ask meme #personal log #yarndarling

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suchagiantnerd · 4 years

Text

48 Books, 1 Year

I was just two books shy of my annual goal of 50! You can blame the combination of my adorable newborn, who refused to nap anywhere except on me, and Hallmark Christmas movie season, during which I abandon books for chaste kisses between 30-somethings who behave like tweens at places called the Mistletoe Inn (which are really in Almonte, Ontario).

Without further ado, as Zuma from Paw Patrol says, “Let’s dive in!”

1. Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes / Nathan H. Lents

We have too many bones! We have to rely too much on our diet for survival! We suffer from too many cognitive biases! Reading about our design flaws was kind of interesting, but the best part of this book were the few pages toward the end about the possibility of alien life. Specifically this quote: "...some current estimates predict that the universe harbours around seventy-five million civilizations." WHAT?! This possibility more than anything else I've ever heard or read gives me a better idea of how infinite the universe really is.

2. The Fiery Cross / Diana Gabaldon

Compared to the first four books in the Outlander series, this fifth book is a real snooze. The characters are becoming more and more unlikeable. They're so self-centered and unaware of their privilege in the time and place they're living. Gabaldon's depictions of the Mohawk tribe and other First Nations characters (which I'm reading through her character's opinions of things) are pretty racist. The enslaved people at one character's plantation are also described as being well taken care of and I just.... can't. I think this is the end of my affair with Outlander.

3. Educated / Tara Westover

This memoir was a wild ride. Tara Westover grew up in a survivalist, ultra-religious family in rural Idaho. She didn’t go to school and was often mislead about the outside world by her father. She and her siblings were also routinely put in physical danger working in their father’s junkyard as their lives were “in god’s hands”, and when they were inevitably injured, they weren’t taken to the hospital or a doctor, but left to be treated by their healer mother. Thanks to her sheer intelligence and determination (and some support from her older brother), Tara goes to university and shares with us the culture shock of straddling two very different worlds. My non-fiction book club LOVED this read, we talked about it for a long, long time.

4. Imbolc: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for St. Brigid’s Day / Carl F. Neal

Continuing with my witchy education, I learned all about the first sabbat of the new year, Imbolc.

5. Super Sad True Love Story / Gary Shteyngart

This in-the-very-near-future dystopian novel got my heart racing during a few exciting moments, but overall, I couldn’t immerse myself fully because of the MISOGYNY. I think the author might not like women and the things women like (or the things he thinks they like?) In this near future, all the dudes are into finance or are media celeb wannabes, while all the women work in high-end retail. And onion-skin jeans are the new trend for women - they are essentially see-through. Gary….we don’t…want that? We don’t even want low-rise jeans to come back.

6. The Wanderers / Meg Howrey

Helen, Yoshi and Sergei are the three astronauts selected by a for-profit space exploration company to man the world’s first mission to Mars. But before they get the green light, they have to endure a 17-month simulation. In addition to getting insight into the simulation from all three astronauts via rotating narrators, we also hear from the astronauts’ family members and other employees monitoring the sim. At times tense, at times thoughtful, this book is an incisive read about what makes explorers willing to leave behind everything they love the most in the world.

7. Zone One / Colson Whitehead

The zombie apocalypse has already happened, and Mark is one of the survivors working to secure and clean up Zone One, an area of Manhattan. During his hours and hours of boring shifts populated by a few harrowing minutes here and there, the reader is privy to Mark’s memories of the apocalypse itself and how he eventually wound up on this work crew. Mark is a pretty likeable, yet average guy rather than the standard zombie genre heroes, and as a result, his experiences also feel like a more plausible reality than those of the genre.

8. Homegoing / Yaa Gyasi

One of my favourite reads of the year, this novel is the definition of “sweeping epic”. The story starts off with two half-sisters (who don’t even know about each other’s existence) living in 18th-century Ghana. One sister marries a white man and stays in Ghana, living a life of privilege, while the other is sold into slavery and taken to America on a slave ship. This gigantic split in the family tree kicks off two parallel and vastly different narratives spanning EIGHT generations, ending with two 20-somethings in the present day. I remain in awe of Gyasi’s talent, and was enthralled throughout the entire book.

9. Sweetbitter / Stephanie Danler

Tess moves to New York City right out of school (and seemingly has no ties to her previous life - this bothered me, I wanted to know more about her past) and immediately lands a job at a beloved (though a little tired) fancy restaurant. Seemingly loosely based on Danler’s own experiences as a server, I got a real feel for the insular, incestuous, chaotic life in “the industry”. Tess navigates tensions between the kitchen and the front of house, falls for the resident bad-boy bartender, and positions herself as the mentee of the older and more glamorous head server, who may not be everything she seems. This is a juicy coming-of-age novel.

10. The Autobiography of Gucci Mane / Gucci Mane and Neil Martinez-Belkin

Gucci Mane is one of Atlanta’s hottest musicians, having helped bring trap music to the mainstream. I’d never heard of him until I read this book because I’m white and old! But not knowing him didn’t make this read any less interesting. In between wild facts (if you don’t get your music into the Atlanta strip clubs, your music isn’t making it out of Atlanta) and wilder escapades (Gucci holing himself up in his studio, armed to the teeth, in a fit of paranoia one night) Gucci Mane paints on honest picture of a determined, talented artist fighting to break free of a cycle of systemic racism and poverty.

11. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman’s Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer / Michelle McNamara

McNamara was a journalist and true crime enthusiast who took it upon herself to try and solve the mystery of the Golden State Killer’s identity. Amazingly, her interest in this case also sparked other people’s interest in looking back at it, eventually leading to the arrest of the killer (though tragically, McNamara died a few months before the arrest and would never know how her obsession helped to capture him). This is a modern true crime classic and a riveting read.

12. A Great Reckoning / Louise Penny

The 12th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series sees our hero starting a new job teaching cadets at Quebec’s police academy. Of course, someone is murdered, and Gamache and his team work to dig the rot out of the institution, uncovering a killer in the process.

13. Any Man / Amber Tamblyn

Yes, this novel is by THAT Amber Tamblyn, star of “The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants”! Anyway, this book is a tad bit darker, and follows five men who’ve been victimized by the female serial rapist, who calls herself Maude. Going into this read I though that it might be some sort of revenge fantasy, but dudes, not to worry - we really feel awful for the male victims and see them in all their complexity. Perhaps, if more men read this book, they might better understand the trauma female and non-binary victims go through? That would require men to read books by women though. Guys? GUYS???

14. Ostara: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for the Spring Equinox / Kerri Connor

Yet another witchy read providing more information about this Spring sabbat.

15. Scarborough / Catherine Hernandez

This novel takes place in OUR Scarborough! Following the lives of a number of residents (adults and children alike), the plot centres around the families attending an Ontario Early Years program as well as the program facilitator. Hernandez looks at the ways poverty, mental illness, addiction, race, and homophobia intersect within this very multicultural neighbourhood. It’s very sad, but there are also many sweet and caring moments between the children and within each of the families.

16. The Glitch / Elisabeth Cohen

Shelley Stone (kind of a fictional Sheryl Sandberg type) is the CEO of Conch, a successful Silicon Valley company. Like many of these over-the-top real-life tech execs, Shelley has a wild schedule full of business meetings, exercise, networking and parenting, leaving her almost no time to rest. While on an overseas business trip, she meets a younger woman also named Shelley Stone, who may or may not be her younger self. Is Shelley losing it? This is a dark comedy poking fun at tech start-up culture and the lie that we can have it all.

17. The Thirteenth Tale / Diane Setterfield

This is my kind of book! A young and inexperienced bookworm is handpicked to write the biography of an aging famous author, Vida Wynter. Summoned to her sprawling country home around Christmastime, the biographer is absolutely enthralled by Vida’s tales of a crumbling gothic estate and an eccentric family left too long to their own whims. Looking for a dark, twisty fairytale? This read’s for you.

18. Love & Misadventure / Lang Leav

Leav’s book of poems looked appealing, but for me, her collection fell short. I felt like I was reading a teenager’s poetry notebook (which I’m not criticizing, I love that teen girls write poetry, and surprise, surprise - so did I - but I’m too old for this kind of writing now).

19. Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows / Balli Kaur Jaswal

Hooo boy, my book club loved this one! Hoping to get a job more aligned with her literary interests, Nikki, the 20-something daughter of Indian immigrants to Britain, takes a job teaching writing at the community centre in London’s biggest Punjabi neighbourhood. The students are all older Punjabi women who don’t have much to do and because of their “widow” status have been somewhat sidelined within their community. Without anyone around to censor or judge them, the widows start sharing their own erotic fantasies with each other, each tale wilder than the last. As Nikki gets to know them better, she gains some direction in life and starts a romance of her own. (It should be noted that in addition to this lovely plot, there is a sub plot revolving around a possible honour killing in the community. For me, the juxtaposition of these two plots was odd, but not odd enough that it ruined the book.)

20. Beltane: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for May Day / Melanie Marquis

Beltane marks the start of the summer season in the witches’ year, and I learned all about how to ring it in, WITCH STYLE.

21. Summer of Salt / Katrina Leno

This book is essentially Practical Magic for teens, with a queer protagonist. All that to say, it’s enjoyable and sweet and a win for #RepresentationMatters, but it wasn’t a surprising or fresh story.

22. Too Like the Lightning / Ada Palmer

This is the first in the Terra Ignota quartet of novels, which is (I think) speculative fiction with maybe a touch of fantasy and a touch of sci-fi and a touch of theology and certainly a lot of philosophical ruminating too. I both really enjoyed it and felt so stupid while reading it. As a lifelong bookworm who doesn’t shy away from difficult reads, I almost never feel stupid while reading, but this book got me. The world building is next level and as soon as you think you’ve found your footing, Palmer pulls the rug out from under you and you’re left both stunned and excited about her latest plot twist. Interested in finding out what a future society grouped into ‘nations’ by interests and passions (instead of geographical borders and ethnicity) might be like? Palmer takes a hearty stab at it here.

23. The Trauma Cleaner: One Woman’s Extraordinary Life in the Business of Death, Decay and Disaster / Sarah Krasnostein

When Sarah Krasnostein met Sandra Pankhurst, she knew she had to write her biography (or something like it - this book is part biography, part love letter, part reckoning). And rightly so, as Sandra has led quite a life. She grew up ostracized within her own home by her immediate family, married and had children very young, came out as a trans woman and begin living as her authentic self (but abandoning her own young family in the process), took to sex work and lived through a vicious assault, married again, and started up her own successful company cleaning uncleanable spaces - the apartments of hoarders, the houses of recluses, the condos in which people ended their own lives. Sandra is the definition of resilience, but all her traumas (both the things people have done to her and the things she’s done to others) have left their mark, as Krasnostein discovers as she delicately probes the recesses of Sandra’s brain.

24. Becoming / Michelle Obama

My favourite things about any memoir from an ultra-famous person are the random facts that surprise you along the way. In this book, it was learning that all American presidents travel with a supply of their blood type in the event of an assassination attempt. I mean OF COURSE they would, but that had never occurred to me. I also appreciated Michelle opening up about her fertility struggles, the difficult decision to put her career on hold to support Barack’s dreams, and the challenge of living in the spotlight with two young children that you hope to keep down to earth. Overall, I think Michelle was as candid as someone in her position can be at this point in her life.

25 and 26. Seven Surrenders, The Will to Battle / Ada Palmer

I decided to challenge myself and stick with Palmer’s challenging Terra Ignota series, also reading the second and third instalments (I think the fourth is due to be released this year). I don’t know what to say, other than the world-building continues to be incredible and this futuristic society is on the bring of something entirely new.

27. Even Vampires Get the Blues / Kate MacAlister

This novel wins for “cheesiest read of the year”. When a gorgeous half-elf detective (you read that right) meets a centuries-old sexy Scottish vampire, sparks fly! Oh yeah, and they’re looking for some ancient thing in between having sex.

28. A Case of Exploding Mangoes / Mohammed Hanif

A piece of historical fiction based on the real-life suspicious plane crash in 1988 that killed many of Pakistan’s top military brass, this novel lays out many possible culprits (including a crow that ate too many mangoes). It’s a dark comedy taking aim at the paranoia of dictators and the boredom and bureaucracy of the military (and Bin Laden makes a cameo at a party).

29. Salvage the Bones / Jesmyn Ward

This novel takes place in the steaming hot days before Hurricane Katrina hits the Mississippi coast. The air is still and stifling and Esch’s life in the small town of Bois Sauvage feels even more stifled. Esch is 14 and pregnant and hasn’t told anyone yet. Her father is a heavy drinker and her three brothers are busy with their own problems. But as the storm approaches, the family circles around each other in preparation for the storm. This is a jarring and moving read made more visceral by the fact that the author herself survived Katrina. It’s also an occasionally violent book, and there are particularly long passages about dog-fighting (a hobby of one of the brothers). The dog lovers in my book club found it hard to get through, consider this your warning!

30. Everything’s Trash, But It’s Okay / Phoebe Robinson

A collection of essays in the new style aka writing multiple pages on a topic as though you were texting your best friend about it (#ImFineWithThisNewStyleByTheWay #Accessible), Robinson discusses love, friendship, being a Black woman in Hollywood, being plus-ish-size in Hollywood, and Julia Roberts teaching her how to swim (and guys, Julia IS as nice in real life as we’d all hoped she was!) Who is Robinson? Comedy fans will likely know her already, but I only knew her as one of the stars of the Netflix film Ibiza (which I enjoyed). This is a fun, easy read!

31. Midsummer: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Litha / Deborah Blake

After reading this book, I charged my crystals under the midsummer sun!

32. Fingersmith / Sarah Waters

So many twists! So many turns! So many hidden motives and long-held secrets! Think Oliver Twist meets Parasite meets Lost! (Full disclosure, I haven’t seen Parasite yet, I’m just going off all the chatter about it). Sue is a con artist orphan in old-timey London. When the mysterious “Gentleman” arrives at her makeshift family’s flat with a proposal for the con of all cons, Sue is quickly thrust into a role as the servant for another young woman, Maud, living alone with her eccentric uncle in a country estate. As Sue settles into her act, the lines between what she’s pretending at and what she’s really feeling start to blur, and nothing is quite what it seems. This book is JUICY!

33. Rest Play Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One) / Deborah MacNamara, PhD

I read approximately one parenting book a year, and this was this year’s winner. As my eldest approached her third birthday, we started seeing bigger and bigger emotions and I wasn’t sure how to handle them respectfully and gently. This book gave me a general roadmap for acknowledging her feelings, sitting through them with her, and the concept of “collecting” your child to prevent tantrums from happening or to help calm them down afterward. I’ll be using this approach for the next few years!

34. Lughnasadh: Rituals, Recipes and Lore for Lammas / Melanie Marquis

And with this read, I’ve now read about the entire witch’s year. SO MOTE IT BE.

35. In Cold Blood / Truman Capote

How had I not read this until now? This true-crime account that kicked off the modern genre was rich in detail, compassionate to the victims, and dug deep into the psyche of the killers. The descriptions of the midwest countryside and the changing seasons also reminded me of Keith Morrison’s voiceovers on Dateline. Is Capote his inspiration?

36. I’m Afraid of Men / Vivek Shraya

A quick, short set of musings from trans musician and writer Shraya still packs an emotional punch. She writes about love and loss, toxic masculinity, breaking free of gender norms, and what it’s like to exist as a trans woman.

37. The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You / Elaine N. Aron, PhD

Having long thought I might be a highly sensitive person (lots of us are!), I decided to learn more about how to better cope with stressful situations when I don’t have enough alone time or when things are too loud or when I get rattled by having too much to do any of the other myriad things that shift me into panic mode. Though some of the advice is a bit too new-agey for me (talking to your inner child, etc), some of it was practical and useful.

38. Swamplandia! / Karen Russell

The family-run alligator wrestling theme park, Swamplandia, is swimming in debt and about to close. The widowed father leaves the everglades for the mainland in a last-ditch attempt to drum up some money, leaving the three children to fend for themselves. A dark coming-of-age tale that blends magic realism, a ghost story, the absurd and a dangerous boat trip to the centre of the swamplands, this novel examines a fractured family mourning its matriarch in different ways.

39. A Mind Spread Out on the Ground / Alicia Elliott

This is a beautiful collection of personal essays brimming with vulnerability, passion, and fury. Elliott, the daughter of a Haudenosaunee father and a white mother, shares her experiences growing up poor in a family struggling with mental illness, addiction and racism. Topics touch on food scarcity, a never-ending battle with lice, parenthood and the importance of hearing from traditionally marginalized voices in literature.

40. Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay / Elena Ferrante

The third novel in Ferrante’s Neapolitan quartet sees Elena and Lila move from their early twenties into their thirties and deal with a riot of issues - growing careers, changing political beliefs, the challenges of motherhood and romantic relationships, and existing as strong-willed, intelligent women in 1960s and 70s Italy. I’ll definitely finish the series soon.

41. Half-Blood Blues / Esi Edugyan

A small group of American and German jazz musicians working on a record find themselves holed up in Paris as the Germans begin their occupation in WW2. Hiero, the youngest and most talented member of the group, goes out one morning for milk and is arrested by the Germans, never to be heard from again. Fifty years later, the surviving members of the band go to Berlin for the opening night of a documentary about the jazz scene from that era, and soon find themselves on a road trip through the European countryside to find out what really became of Hiero all those years ago. Edugyan’s novel is a piercing examination of jealousy, ambition, friendship, race and guilt. And features a cameo by Louis Armstrong!

42. A Serial Killer’s Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love and Overcoming / Kerri Rawson

So Brad and I had just finished watching season 2 of Mindhunter, and as I browse through a neighbourhood little library, I spot this book and the serial killer in question is the BTK Killer! Naturally, I had to read it. What I didn’t realize is that this is actually a Christian book, so Rawson does write a lot about struggling with her belief in God and finding her way back to Him, etc. But there are also chapters more fitting with the true crime and memoir genres that I equally enjoyed and was creeped out by.

43. The Night Ocean / Paul La Farge

This is another book that made me feel somewhat stupid as a reader. I just know there are details or tidbits that completely went over my head that would likely enrich a better reader’s experience. In broad strokes, the novel is about a failed marriage between a psychiatrist and a writer who became dangerously obsessed with H.P. Lovecraft and the rumours that swirled around him and his social circle. The writer’s obsession takes him away from his marriage and everything else, and eventually it looks like he ends his own life. The psychiatrist is doubtful (no body was found) and she starts to follow him down the same rabbit hole. At times tense, at times funny, at times sad, I enjoyed the supposed world of Lovecraft and his fans and peers, but again, I’m sure there are deeper musings here that I couldn’t reach.

44. Glass Houses / Louise Penny

The 13th novel in Penny’s Inspector Gamache mystery series sees our hero taking big risks to fight the opioid crisis in Quebec. He and his team focus on catching the big crime boss smuggling drugs across the border from Vermont, endangering his beloved town of Three Pines in the process.

45. The Bone Houses / Emily Lloyd-Jones

My Halloween read for the year, this dark fairytale of a YA novel was perfect for the season. Since her parents died, Ryn has taken over the family business - grave digging - to support herself and her siblings. As the gravedigger, she knows better than most that due to an old curse, the dead in the forest surrounding her village don’t always stay dead. But as more of the forest dead start appearing (and acting more violently than usual), Ryn and an unexpected companion (yes, a charming young man cause there’s got to be a romance!) travel to the heart of the forest to put a stop to the curse once and for all.

46. The Witches Are Coming / Lindy West

Another blazing hot set of essays from my favourite funny feminist take on Trump, abortion rights, #MeToo, and more importantly Adam Sandler and Dateline. As always, Lindy, please be my best friend?

47. Know My Name / Chanel Miller

This memoir is HEAVY but so, so needed. Recently, Chanel Miller decided to come forward publicly and share that she was the victim of Brock Turner’s sexual assault. She got the courage to do so after she posted her blistering and beautiful victim impact statement on social media and it went viral. Miller’s memoir is a must-read, highlighting the incredible and awful lengths victims have to go to to see any modicum of justice brought against their attackers. Miller dealt with professional ineptitude from police and legal professionals, victim-blaming, victim-shaming, depression and anxiety, the inability to hold down a job, and still managed to come out the other side of this trial intact. And in the midst of all the horror, she writes beautifully about her support system - her family, boyfriend and friends - and about the millions of strangers around the world who saw themselves in her experience.

48. Christmas Ghost Stories: A Collection of Winter Tales / Mark Onspaugh

Ghosts AND Christmas? Yes please! This quirky collection features a wide array of festively spooky tales. You want the ghost of Anne Boleyn trapped in a Christmas ornament? You got it! What about the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future drinking together in a bar? Yup, that’s here too!

So, what were my top picks of the year, the books that stuck with me the most? In no particular order:

Educated

Homegoing

The Wanderers

Know My Name

Scarborough

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kiruuuuu · 5 years

Text

Siege The Valentines 2019 Day 1

Blitz/Rook oneshot in which Rook would like to have sex and Blitz doesn’t. So they compromise and have sex. (Rating E, fluff/humour, explicit smut, some exhibitionism and semi-public sex, ~8.5k words)

Thank you so much to everyone at @dualrainbow for organising this event!! I’m thrilled to participate and look forward to everyone’s contributions :) Please follow @dualrainbow so you don’t miss a day and let writers know if you enjoyed their story! 💕

“You should’ve seen me, I drop kicked one of them down the stairs and actually made him do a flip, a bloody flip, I bet none of you have ever seen anyone do that, it was brilliant! Much cooler than the way I made five of them curse like all hell when I set off one of my babes, and that was already -”

“I think my favourite moment of yours was when you were currently telling me about how much you needed a piss, so much that you considered just dipping out for a second to do it in the middle of a mission and one of the blokes burst into the room. You shrieked like a child, my ears are still ringing.”

Smoke shoots Mute a glare when the younger Brit’s comment earns more laughs than his dramatic exaggeration of the events transpired earlier, but an arm casually slung around his waist placates him instantly. Blitz can only imagine how he feels in his lover’s half-embrace, pressed against a warm body and so obviously claimed in front of everyone – he’d bet it’s nice, has felt a similar sensation before, confidence and affection settling low in his stomach and weighing him down in a good way. A quick glance over to a certain Frenchman assures him that Rook is following a similar tale as well, eyes bright and mouth stretched into a rapt grin while he listens to Maestro. He’s almost cute like this, enthusiastically poses additional questions to allow the Italian to flesh out the story, and Blitz knows what it feels like to have all his attention.

Okay, he’s understating. Rook is adorable. If he could, he’d hug him right now and kiss the tip of his nose. Maybe tell him how happy his entire existence makes him.

“You’re the one babe I never have to set off, you do that all by yourself”, Smoke is grumbling now after Mute once more rained on his boisterous parade, prompting his boyfriend to laugh and his hold to tighten.

They’re loitering outside their hotel – since drinking alcohol in the lobby isn’t permitted, they’ve gathered here to share their post-mission hyperactivity. Their group must make for an intimidating picture, around twenty well-built men and women congregating, sharing cans of beer and raucous laughter, but as long as nobody chases them away, they’ll stay. There’s no alternative really: they’d go insane in their individual rooms, with some of them probably taking apart the furniture due to cabin fever, and going out isn’t preferred either. Because rarely anyone would understand the rush of having saved lives, and they want to ride the high for just a little longer. It won’t be long until exhaustion sets in.

Blitz can feel the tension slowly leaving his muscles but instead of rendering him immobile, it makes him giddy. He barely resisted the urge to join Finka in her spontaneously made up drinking game of having to take a sip whenever any of them curses in their mother tongue (and by now, she and various others are very tipsy) and it’s getting more and more difficult to not just run, tackle someone for a friendly wrestling match or try to scale a building – though the glass façade of their hotel would make this last one impossible without the proper equipment.

“Have I ever told you that you’re fucking awesome at your job?”, Ying addresses Hibana with a reverent expression which speaks not only of her admiration for the other woman but also of the fact that she’s by far the worst of them in holding her liquor.

“Only six times today”, the Japanese woman replies with a both flattered and amused grin. “You’re talking about me saving your life again earlier? It’s becoming a running joke at this point.”

Ying puffs herself up in front of her, almost like a small bird trying to seem more intimidating and stabs her in the collarbone with a finger to emphasise every word coming out of her mouth. “I. Love. Your. Controlled. Explosions.”

“Sounds like she’s setting off a controlled explosion in your panties”, Ash butts in drily and amid the chortles and chuckling, Blitz’ eyes meet Rook’s.

It’s a relatively mild night for the season but even the beers he had don’t really explain the sudden rush of heat overcoming him. Not for the first time does he realise just how gorgeous the other man really is with his dark curls and bright blue eyes, his physique oddly attractive even to someone who preferred softer curves all his life. It probably has to do with almost dying – death puts a lot of things into perspective. Cheeks hot, he offers a warm smile and nearly crushes the can in his hand when it’s reciprocated, so pleased is he, before averting his eyes again. He feels like an open book but would prefer for no one to read him right now.

Maybe he should drink some water to clear his mind a little, guide his restless state towards something more productive. He’s got some bottled water in his hotel room, so he excuses himself from no one in particular as everyone is currently cheering on either Ash or Hibana in their battle of wits while Ying seems a tad confused with the entirety of the universe.

The moon is mirrored in the spottily illuminated glass front of the building and Blitz is so mesmerised by it that he only notices he’s gained a companion when he enters the lobby and Rook slips in with him.

“What are you doing?”, the young man wants to know cheerfully and seems barely capable of containing his excess energy.

“Getting some water. I hate travelling with a hangover and we’re leaving tomorrow.”

“I’ll come with!” The announcement is followed by Rook dancing alongside him, basically running laps around him and bouncing in place as they wait for the elevator. More than ever he reminds Blitz of a puppy. “Did you hear what Maestro said? Apparently Lesion lost the bet with James and now he has to get an undercut, can you imagine how silly he’s going to look, probably almost as bad as the time Gus had to -”

His chatter lulls Blitz in who’s more than happy to let Rook do the talking and simply indulge him, but he was not at all prepared for the tongue which pries his lips open and shoves its way into his mouth as soon as the elevator doors close behind them. He makes a surprised noise and stumbles back yet Rook merely follows him, presses their bodies together and continues ravishing him. Having no other choice, Blitz succumbs and kisses back tentatively, smiling at the desperate sound he earns in return and putting his arms around his lover.

Rook is a needy disaster whenever he feels he’s been neglected for too long and so it’s no surprise when he mumbles: “I haven’t kissed you all day.” His pout is audible but at least he detaches when they arrive on Blitz’ floor, trailing after him with a whine.

“Well, we had a few situations to de-escalate”, Blitz reminds him gently while unlocking his door. “If you want, we can cuddle a bit before going to bed, but you’re sleeping in your own room.” Rook perks up at this and were he really a dog, he’d probably wag his tail at Mach 3 right now. As expected. “That’s not a euphemism. I’ll be too tired for anything else.”

And here comes the ear droop – also as expected. “But -”

He feels bad. He really does, he hates disappointing people and disappointing Rook even more and he’d be lying if he claimed the quick and dirty kiss in the elevator had no effect on him, but… there’s other issues. Unaddressed ones, entirely his own fault, he knows this, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to raise the topic yet. “Come on in and we can make out for now”, he suggests instead and Rook is immediately full of life again.

The room itself is remarkably pleasant even if cramped, the carpet fluffy, the bed just the right kind of hard and the floor to ceiling windows a nice touch. Blitz turns the light on, gives Rook a peck on the lips to appease him for the moment and draws the heavy curtains closed before rummaging around in his backpack for his sparkling water. Rustling behind him causes him to turn around curiously and he’s faced with -

“Julien!”

Rook pauses uncertainly, blinking at him like someone who got caught doing something forbidden yet not sure what exactly. He’s half way in taking off his shirt while his trousers are unbuttoned already, his shoes kicked off to the side and his toes trying to find purchase on the hem of his trouser leg so he can pull it off as well. If his intent hadn’t been crystal clear, he’d look comical. “Is this not what we’re doing?”, he wants to know, sheepish, and once more reminds Blitz of a dog – only this time a mindlessly horny one.

“Making out also wasn’t a euphemism”, he stresses firmly and he knows this look all too well, has received it several times after dates and in the morning and even at work but … he can’t. He can’t give in, no matter how much it pains him to turn down these wide, dejected eyes.

“It’s been so lonnng”, Rook whines and shuffles over to him, listlessly throwing his arms around Blitz and crowding him against the nearest wall. A quick look confirms that yes, there’s no gap in the curtains meaning none of their colleagues still outside can see them, so Blitz relaxes and pulls his boyfriend close to him, finally enjoying a hug that, while being slightly uncomfortable due to the arms digging into his back, feels utterly wonderful. “And you’re always so handsome, it’s not fair. Your helmet hair is cute and when you’re being modest it’s adorable and you know I love it when you drink out of a can wrong.”

The ticklish words grumbled against the exposed skin on the side of his neck make him laugh softly and card his hand through Rook’s silky hair. “You know there’s no wrong way to drink out of a can?”

“There is. And you’ve perfected it just to taunt me. Have I told you that these jeans make your ass look amazing?”

It’s good that Rook can’t see his reddening face – Blitz is weak to heartfelt compliments and he knows he can take Rook’s seriously. “You’re really pent up at this point, hm?” Another pleading whine is enough of an answer. “I can just… take care of you, how about that?”

To his genuine astonishment, Rook declines. “I want to make you feel good too, mon cœur, or else it’s no fun.” He does belatedly accept the offer of making out, however, simply presses their lips together and purrs against Blitz’ mouth. He gives in without hesitation, always does so when they’re alone, whether it’s early in the morning, amidst frantic preparations to go to work, during a film they’re watching or as a prolonged good night kiss. Rook thoroughly enjoys kissing in all circumstances and is slowly winning Blitz over as well, not only with his eagerness but also because he’s excellent at it.

Rook does the thing which always makes his toes curl and he can feel himself melting into the devoted ministrations speaking of an affection he reciprocates wholeheartedly. He’s gotten worryingly attached to this man in a relatively short amount of time, willingly allowed him into his life and doesn’t even object to spending most of their nights together – but there are still some obstacles in the way, moments during which one of them is left staring blankly or unsure of what to say, awkward situations and slight hurt, often mutual. All in all it’s considerably less rocky than most of Blitz’ previous relationships or attempts thereof, and still he’s painfully aware it’s far from perfect. He doesn’t mind though, they’re both putting in the effort to make it work and it shows.

The beer he drank is only a very small part of the reason why Blitz enthusiastically toys with Rook’s tongue as soon as it becomes available: he’s missed this too. Letting himself go isn’t something he’s done often but Rook coaxes him out of his shell with loving touches, understanding reassurances and very uncharacteristic patience every time. The longer they kiss, the steamier it gets, and he really should’ve seen this coming. Rook has… a remarkable libido, as he’s come to realise, and it’s much too easy to allow him to take the lead, especially since he always ensures Blitz gets whatever his heart (or rather his crotch) desires, and why has Blitz been this reluctant again?

He’s drawing a blank now, the wet sounds of their sloppy making out just as distracting as the way Rook subtly grinds against him, full of hope and need. The Frenchman is groaning into Blitz’ mouth, running his tongue over his teeth and simultaneously massaging his ass, always moving, almost writhing against him while he systematically takes apart all of Blitz’ composure. It’s only a kiss, yes, but what a kiss it is – dizzying, with no opportunity to breathe freely, a merciless onslaught of sensation and Blitz feels like he’s seventeen again, snogging his crush for the very first time. His knees are getting weak, his eyelids heavy enough so he never wants to lift them again, and more and more of his focus wanders to his lower half, this one place where he’d like to feel all of Rook, preferably right now.

They’re not even undressed. Rook hasn’t even said anything, and Blitz already is as flustered as if he had three fingers inside and it really has been a while, hasn’t it? It’s not his lack of desire for his boyfriend which held him back, not at all, if anything he’s been exceedingly tense and trying not to keep glancing at Rook whenever he was working out or smiling or having unruly hair or really just there, and this definitely isn’t helping. He’s thinking about it now, Rook over, under, behind, inside him, and he loves it all.

Rook knows what he’s doing, knows how susceptible Blitz is to his kisses and so he’s made use of them as a distraction to sneak his hands under Blitz’ shirt, running them over heated skin as he slowly nibbles and sucks and licks Blitz’ inhibitions out of him. And then, suddenly, he rolls one of his nipples between gentle fingertips. The unexpected spike of pleasure is too much, entirely too much, and Blitz can’t help but moan, just allow this loud noise to escape his throat as if it had any justifiable reason to exist, and simultaneously panics.

“No”, he whispers and twists away from the offending hand, “stop, stop.”

Immediately, Rook pauses and withdraws a little, the troubled look on his face only increasing Blitz’ guilt. “I’m sorry. Is everything alright?”

“Yes, but give me a minute. Okay?” His words come slow, his mind still trying to catch up. Rook nods, visibly trying hard not to let his disappointment show, and rests his forehead on Blitz’ shoulder, pants softly against his collarbone and keeps holding him close. He’s given away by movement further down, his prominent erection straining against his underwear in the exposed triangle between the hem of his t-shirt and his open zip. It’s -

It looks really inviting. It looks like something Blitz needs to touch or even lick and holding back is surprisingly difficult. He pictures himself sinking to his knees and taking care of it, guiding Rook’s tentative thrusts and yes, he could do that, it’d be fine as long as he doesn’t touch himself which is getting harder by the second, pun fully intended.

“Do you want me to -” He kisses soft hair and brushes his knuckles over the rigid shaft, earning a gasp and another twitch. “I can just satisfy you. That’d be okay.”

The aqua blue eyes directed at him are full of defeat. “Why not more, mon cœur? We have the time, and we don’t need to do anything exhausting. Am I doing something wrong? Don’t you like having sex with me anymore?”

Blitz feels his face warming up once more. “It’s the opposite, rather. That’s the problem.” He would prefer not to talk about it at all until he’s found a solution by himself but he supposes he owes Rook at least this much.

Only it looks that all he’s doing for right now is thoroughly confusing him. “You like it too much? What do you mean?”

The words don’t really want to come out right, warped by insecurity and self-consciousness. “It’s… embarrassing.”

“What is?” Rook has momentarily forgotten about their state, tilting his head inquisitively and hell-bent on making Blitz spell it out for him, apparently.

“When we – you know, then I’m…” He makes a meaningful pause, hoping that Rook gets it on his own, but is merely met with more bewilderment. He must be crimson by now. “I’m too loud. Okay? I’m just – it’s awkward. I can’t hold back and I don’t like it.”

Astonishment morphs into complete and utter lack of understanding. “What?”

“It’s embarrassing”, he reiterates to really drive the point home but it seems that this isn’t where Rook’s mind is refusing to cooperate.

“It’s incredibly hot!”, his lover shoots back with passion. “No, really, you have no idea how much it turns me on, I love it. Please don’t even try to hold yourself back, it’s my favourite thing.”

Oh.

“But you’re much quieter.”

“Yeah, so I can hear you better.”

Oh. Blitz ponders this new revelation. He supposes that Rook does indeed let himself go if it’s only him being stimulated, yes, now that he thinks about it. “I just thought it wouldn’t -”

“Wait, is that the reason you didn’t want to have sex recently?” Oops. And there it is.

Sheepishly, he replies: “Maybe?”

“So I didn’t do anything wrong? You still want me to sleep with me? You were just embarrassed because you moaned during sex?”

“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds silly”, Blitz protests weakly but ultimately, he has no leg to stand on. Quite literally, too, because Rook wordlessly picks him up and carries him until the mattress digs into the back of his knees.

“You have no idea how relieved I am”, Rook murmurs into the side of his neck and Blitz belatedly realises that the questions he posed weren’t rhetorical but genuine, he did want to make sure there wasn’t another unaddressed issue between them holding Blitz back. “And how pissed off.”

That’s fair, Blitz thinks. He’s still not wholly comfortable with the idea of giving himself up like this, of allowing Rook to assume total control over his body but he trusts him nonetheless. Knowing that Rook doesn’t mind, quite the opposite, is a reassurance he apparently needed, and so he wraps himself around his boyfriend and mumbles an apology.

“It’s alright, mon cœur, but if you hold yourself back now, I’m gonna fuck you so slowly you’ll end up begging.” And before he can react to this announcement in any way, Rook has shoved him onto the bed already, crawling on top of him and once again claiming his mouth, only this time the goal doesn’t seem to be seducing Blitz but rather silencing him – now that Rook knows there’s technically nothing speaking against them having sex, he’ll be unrelenting.

His mouth is merciless and so are his hands, roaming Blitz’ torso freely, rubbing him into a pleasant daze and lulling him into a false sense of security because it doesn’t stop, none of it, neither the deep kisses nor the fingertips digging into his skin and when Rook rolls his hips against his, he’s surprised at how hard both of them are nonetheless. They move up on the bed, stretching out on it while Rook suckles on his lower lip contentedly, fumbling with Blitz’ buttons.

“Shouldn’t we go back?”, Blitz gasps. “The others -”

It’s a weak excuse and both of them know it, he’s actually amazed Rook even graces him with a reply. “- won’t care, if they even notice at all. Gilles and Dom disappeared a while ago too and no one wondered about them.”

They’re definitely not doing anything like this though, Blitz wants to object but groans instead when a hand dives into his briefs and wraps around his erection. He’s momentarily stunned by how fantastic it feels to have someone else’s hand on his dick, lazily stroking up and down and squeezing the head lightly, prompting another strangled noise from him. The fierce pleasure rushes through him and erodes his sanity in a very familiar way – if he’s going to stop this at all, he has to do it soon.

“I don’t have any lube here”, he pants, desperate and his self-control waning.

The fond, adoring look this earns him makes it brilliantly clear that there really is no escape. “Mon cœur, you can’t honestly think I’d ever be unprepared for spontaneous sex”, Rook tells him gently and pulls a small bottle out of his pocket triumphantly. “Take your clothes off, will you?”

And Blitz admits defeat. He does want this, painfully so, but cringes whenever he lets out a sound he deems too loud regardless. And for some reason he has the impression that Rook is going to enjoy teasing him immensely.

Following Rook’s order turns out more complicated than he thought because the Frenchman chases after every piece of clothing with his lips, peppers any newly exposed skin with ticklish kisses and makes Blitz giggle in the process. Unlike Rook’s previously almost frantic displays of affection, he’s much more playful now, bites at Blitz’ calves until he threatens to throw him off the bed and sucks dark red marks onto his thighs. It’s oddly calming, the uncomfortable tension between them has dissipated and given way to mutual desire and passion which is a relief to Blitz also – he hates nothing more than disappointing people, and repeatedly worming his way out of something he genuinely enjoys were it not for that Small Detail wasn’t easy. Rook really must’ve worried.

“Can I make it up to you somehow?”, he offers while helping his lover out of his clothes, feeling his muscles and strong legs while doing so. He can’t help but admire his body – he’s beautiful with and without clothes, only he doesn’t get to see him naked nearly enough. Their hard work and training indubitably pays off and Rook is the best example with the pronounced muscles adorning him.

“You can moan like a whore for me”, the younger man supplies cheerfully.

“Julien.”

“Have I ever told you that you sound like my old teacher when you do that?” He catches sight of Blitz’ horrified expression and hurries to amend: “No, don’t worry, I like it. You don’t need to stop doing it.”

“You know, somehow that doesn’t make it any better.” Rook chuckles in response while ridding himself of his socks and then takes his usual place between Blitz’ spread legs, beaming at him expectantly. “Isn’t there anything else you’d like to do?” The question is dangerous. He made the mistake of granting Rook a blank cheque before and ended up sobbing into a pillow as he came so hard he got some in his hair, but right now they’re coming down after a tense mission, they don’t have all evening and Rook is missing most of his ‘equipment’ anyway. What’s the worst that could happen?

Rook contemplates the offer for a moment while touching Blitz’ stiff member, massaging the tip gently, then his scrotum, then even further down. It’s distracting despite its absent-minded nature and he finds himself lifting one of his legs to grant better access already. Noticing the subconscious gesture, Rook shoots him a smile and presses against his perineum, repeating the gesture when Blitz bites his lip at the pleasant sensation. “I’d like a certain position and a certain location. Here in this room though, don’t worry.”

Sounds easy enough. If he’s honest, it sounds entirely too easy, but gift horses and so on. Maybe Rook is happy with a little bit of experimentation, and besides, even if he wants to do something like bending Blitz over the desk, it’ll be fine. More than fine. Maybe… maybe he should bring up this suggestion himself at a later point in time. “Alright. I’m okay with that.”

“You’re the best”, Rook announces, full of giddy anticipation, and leans down to engulf the head of Blitz’ cock with his lips.

The sudden gesture makes him jump first and inhale sharply second, not expecting to be encased in moist heat this abruptly, but adapting to it is made easy by a skilled tongue swiping over sensitive flesh. Reflexive protest turns into a content sigh as Rook demonstrates exactly why Blitz allowed him to do this very thing to him at work once – no one cared what they were doing anyway, they were both bored and Rook side-eyed him and the rest is pretty messy history. The Frenchman is not only ridiculously skilled at this though, no, it’s also made better by the mischievous twinkle in his eyes whenever he gazes up to Blitz as well as the brown mane he can hold on to.

He’s serious from the start, allowing the glans to glide over his lips a few times as he bobs his head shallowly, then swallows more, goes deeper with each motion, sucking hard on every upwards pull. Within seconds, Blitz is reduced to a panting mess over the unforgiving stimulation, digging his one heel into the mattress and flexing his toes on both feet, almost shying away from the intense feeling. His breathing turns ragged, irregular, as he alternates between squeezing his eyes shut to focus on the lips tight around him and raptly watching Rook slide up and down like a true professional.

It only gets worse once his lover has snapped the cap open and poured some of the lube he inexplicably carried around with him onto his fingers, because he very practically-oriented doesn’t waste any time before pushing one of them into Blitz and that’s the moment he has to slap a hand over his mouth. Because if he thought Rook couldn’t be any more ruthless, he’s sorely disappointed when a fingertip rubs directly over his sweet spot.

Rook is very versatile concerning a lot of things, not only at work – he adapts easily to those around him and seems to fit in anywhere, and even in bed he’s eager to switch things up now and then, go with the flow, read Blitz’ mood and act accordingly. They’ve had evenings filled with languid kisses, almost lazy orgasms and copious amounts of cuddling, just like they had moments where everything was over and done with in less than five minutes. Right now, Blitz is still vaguely weightless from their earlier collective success and, now that they’ve at least acknowledged his issue, ready for a slow and thorough session.

Unlike Rook. Very unlike Rook, if how he’s currently sucking the life out of Blitz while abusing his prostate in the most wonderful way is any indication. He feels even more vulnerable now, being invaded by a slippery digit and trying to relax into the sensation, yet need is pulling his body taut and hindering him. Having Rook inside him still hasn’t lost its magic, especially not when he’s paying close attention to Blitz’ reactions as he is now, crooking his finger over and over as if he’s beckoning him to come, motioning for him to come closer and closer – and that’s exactly what Blitz is doing, still not allowing himself to make a noise but quickly running out of oxygen.

Distractedly, he notices that he’s almost lifting off the mattress due to the need thrumming through him and, abruptly, it hits him that he really is about to climax. Panicked, he pushes Rook away, nearly tripping over the edge when his cock is released with a wet pop, and is instantly rewarded with a half-lidded gaze and lips shining with spit. Breathing heavily, he gasps: “No more. I’m – I’m almost there.”

There’s an almost malicious glint in Rook’s eyes now. “Try not to come then, I’ll be fucking you regardless”, he responds, quite obviously feeling vengeful and deservedly so. Blitz opens his mouth in protest but merely draws a deep breath when a second finger joins the first, stretching him in preparation. Sinking back into the sheets, he accepts his fate which, admittedly, is more than bearable. He enjoys this part anyway, not only because Rook does but also because his lover, as with many things in this domain, is exceedingly skilful. Despite expecting it to, being entered never hurt and Blitz knows better than to take any credit for it.

Impatiently, he pushes against the fingers, grinds into them and hums at every shock of want hitting him out of nowhere. Without the added stimulation to his dick, it’s manageable, his mind blissfully empty and a dreamy smile on his face as he drifts away on the ebb and flow and then – then Rook swallows him again. Just the head for now, but it doesn’t matter because it feels divine and fantastic and holy shit what is he even doing; Blitz forgets how to breathe for a second, catapulted right back to the edge with how hard Rook is sucking but doesn’t tip over, teeters and looms but doesn’t fall.

It takes him a few moments before he can identify this heavenly sensation: Rook is tonguing the underside of the head, directly over one of Blitz’ most sensitive spots – as he very well knows. Apart from that, he’s not moving, simply rubbing over it again and again, just like with his prostate and it’s obvious what he wants to achieve at this point. But Blitz isn’t giving in. No matter how fucking magnificent it feels, he refuses to let out more than minuscule whimpers, even if Rook keeps this up… which he can, without much effort really. And actually does.

Blitz ends up trembling, trapped between an insistent tongue and deft fingers, both of which have his own hands twitching and overwhelming want taking priority over all. He’s extremely close to just getting rid of the brunet between his legs and jerking himself off but this, too, would be admitting defeat – so he endures, eyes watering, teeth clenched, abs tensing. And Rook seems to be having the time of his life. Even more so when he reaches up, his free hand slowly gliding over Blitz’ hips, his ribs, towards -

All he can do is watch in horror as fingers slowly close on his nipple but something for which he was even less prepared is Rook swallowing him whole as soon as he pinches, and the throaty moan that follows couldn’t have been held back no matter what. “My love”, Blitz whines and hears another strangled noise leave his lips while Rook makes sure he hits the back of his throat on every bob, “please, don’t – Julien – I’m so close. Oh God.” It’s too much, Rook is scissoring his fingers now, pinching harder, moving faster, and he really is just about to orgasm, he can taste it, the tingling starting in his crotch and working its way outwards to his limbs…

And Rook stops again. This time, he ceases all stimulation, withdraws both hands, sits up and licks his lips with a satisfied grin. The air is cool on wet skin and Blitz feels himself throb, feels his hole pulse and has to make an effort to see straight. If, in certain moments, his lover feels a fraction of the ferocious desire currently tugging at Blitz’ limbs, he can’t blame him for being perpetually aroused. Rook is a God and Blitz wants to worship him the only way his brain is allowing him to consider right now.

“Come on”, he pleads quietly, reaching for his boyfriend, “come on, Julien, don’t make me wait.”

The impish smirk transforms into a devoted smile and Rook leans down for a tender but quick kiss. He’s not unaffected, as his rock hard erection betrays him, but he’s certainly more composed than Blitz. “I love you”, he murmurs against his lips before climbing off the mattress, holding out a hand. “Get up. We’re doing it while standing.”

Easier said than done, his legs probably don’t feel like rubber. Blitz crawls to the edge of the mattress and lets Rook help him up, then sways unsteadily in place, much to his boyfriend’s amusement. His lower half is still throbbing viciously, demanding release or at the very least more stimulation, and coherent thought is nigh impossible in this state. Uncomprehending, he watches as Rook turns off the light and then fumbles his way to the large windows, drawing the curtains back and letting pale moonlight in.

“Come here”, he says with a grin and Blitz understands.

“Julien.”

“They can’t see you like this.”

“Julien, no.”

“You promised.”

He did promise. Not explicitly, but he agreed to Rook’s terms and this is apparently what they are: fucking him against a full length window. He should’ve noticed this loophole and is grateful that he at least killed the lights or else all their colleagues outside would’ve gotten mooned by Rook’s really quite marvellous ass. He thinks about it. The façade is dark enough, he certainly couldn’t look into any of the darkened rooms.

As he approaches, face burning, Rook’s outstretched arm curls around his midsection and creates a protective barrier between Blitz’ body and the cool glass in front of him. He’s manoeuvred between Rook and the window, facing the outside, and forces himself not to look down at all the people he knows, instead focuses on Rook pressing himself against his back and kissing his shoulder, heavy erection slipping between his cheeks and rubbing over his quivering ring of muscle which is more than ready to receive it.

“I’ve always wanted to do this”, Rook divulges with a chuckle. “It’s going to be so hot when you shoot against the window, mon cœur.”

None of what he’s saying helps to put Blitz at ease but since his body is still in horny mode, he’s incapable of refusing Rook anything. “This is terrible”, he states and flinches when the tip of his dick touches the cold surface, shoves his hips against Rook’s.

“Just relax. And remember that no one can see you.” In the second it takes Rook to lube up his own cock, Blitz contemplates his life choices but gets rudely interrupted when Rook pushes his legs apart a little further. Knowing what’s about to happen, Blitz shuts his eyes so all his attention is concentrated on the glorious sensation of Rook entering him from behind – the first stretch is mind-numbing and feels endless, but once the head has slipped in, it’s just a matter of filling up his insides; every centimetre pushes more air out of his lungs until Rook bottoms out with a blissful moan. They stay mostly still for a few elating seconds during which Blitz can’t help but reach between his legs, fondle Rook’s balls and make him twitch deep inside repeatedly, something that always sends waves of pleasure rolling through him.

Rook fills him out so perfectly as if they were made for each other but he’s still in a pitiless mood: once Blitz has nodded and thus given him the signal to move, he withdraws almost all the way before slamming back in, repeating the process when it yields another broken sound from Blitz. He loves when Rook does this, when his hard thrusts reach deep but don’t come so fast as to numb his insides with overstimulation – like this, he feels every centimetre sliding in and out keenly, almost stumbles and staggers each time Rook hits his prostate. The angle is unfair, the fact that he has to endure this while standing merciless and Rook’s lustful moans directly into his ear lacking any compassion. He’s going to be ruined.

First, he needs recover his balance, he’s dizzy and only getting worse with every burst of pleasure exploding behind his eyelids, every hard impact, so he steadies himself against the windowpane. The smooth glass is icy to the touch and only reminds him of how scorchingly hot Rook is, how the hands holding on to Blitz’ hips set him ablaze, Rook’s breath on the back of his neck as hot as his body, radiating heat and making Blitz sweat. A particularly vicious thrust hitting all the right spots forces another moan out of him but so far he’s been good, suppressed a lot more… but why is he holding back?

Rook is living out a fantasy of his right now, and he’s making no effort to hide it – already his movements are becoming irregular and the endless stream of noises falling from his lips is unselfconscious. He’s utterly lost in the moment and has no qualms about letting Blitz know, allowing him to hear just how good he feels, how much he’s enjoying himself. He’s so… honest and open.

The moment Blitz moans his lover’s name, Rook almost loses his rhythm. He stumbles a little, obviously surprised, but when Blitz does it again, Rook echoes it with a similar groan of his own. He curses heartily and increases the speed at which he drives into Blitz, simultaneously hugging him tightly so he can’t go as deep but neither of them care. If he could see his reflection, Blitz bets that the other man would be smiling.

It’s astonishingly easy. Once Blitz has gotten accustomed to channelling the intense pleasure into mewls and whines and gasps, it happens all by itself, genuine reactions to Rook’s thorough fucking – and it’s liberating, strangely enough, heightens his lust where before he robbed himself of this, diminished it through his misplaced embarrassment. He feels more naked than before, probably also due to the fake sense of exposure the glass before him gives off, but it’s fine because Rook holds him, a reliable strong body keeping him upright and causing more and more pulsing need. He’s ecstatic.

Wanting more, needing to feel Rook even more sharply, Blitz pushes his hips back once again, changing their stance slightly to break the embrace but allow Rook deeper penetration which turns out to be one of the best ideas he’s ever had. His hands scrabble for purchase against the cool window but find none, so he squishes the side of his face against it instead, every hard thrust dragging his skin against the glass and every breath of his fogging it up yet it’s perfect like this. Rook’s motions are almost frantic now, getting worse whenever Blitz moans a yes or oh fuck and he can’t blame him, he does sound increasingly lewd.

His thighs are shaking by now from the exertion, his body covered in a sheen of sweat and his brain long bidden farewell. All he can do is idly wonder why he ever leaves the Frenchman out of his sight, why he would ever say no to any of his suggestions when he ends up feelings this fucking amazing each time. A hand wraps around his shaft, making him groan and instinctively clench around Rook’s cock, heightening the gratifying sensations with which it graces him.

“Imagine they could actually see you like this”, Rook whispers into his ear and increases the tempo, ramps up the intensity even more, the thought quite obviously exciting him. And Blitz does, he does imagine it, pictures what he looks like right now – rosy cheeks, face flattened and palms uselessly pressed against the window, lower half pushed towards Rook to allow for deep thrusts, swollen cock happily dripping clear liquid as it bobs along to the rhythm at which he’s being entered. He’s fine with showing his boyfriend this side of his since it goes both ways, he’s seen Rook squirming in ecstasy below him before. But he’d rather not share either of these displays with anyone else.

By now, his legs are threatening to give in despite the iron hold around his hips. His pleasure never really declined as he didn’t recover from Rook’s spectacular blow job earlier, and so he’s been high-strung this entire time, the relentless stimulation of his prostate in this position only contributing to the roaring lust. Feeling a fist around his dick now leaves him reeling and he pushes into it mindlessly, moves back and forth between Rook’s hot flesh and his merciful hand promising sweet release, his desire building and building, working towards the crescendo -

Rook plunges deep into him a few times more and he’s gone. He barely stops himself from folding in half at the sudden, concentrated pleasure hitting him and moans with abandon, moans to accompany every motion fucking his orgasm out of him, moans for the way Rook massages his dick, moans at each violent spurt of come shooting out of him and splashing the smooth glass, the only barrier between him and outside. The relief is overwhelming to a point where his vision goes dark for a second and his entire universe consists of pure delight for an impressively long time. He feels like he handed himself over wholly and this is his reward for trusting the man behind him – and it was more than worth it. Panting in disbelief, he rides it out until the pleasure has subsided and given way to thorough contentment, a deep-seated warmth relaxing his muscles.

He opens his eyes to Mute staring up at him from the street.

His heart skips a beat and the unexpected adrenalin rush makes him perk up despite the physical exhaustion. No, he’s not imagining it, Mute is indeed looking up to where he is squished against the window, and so is Smoke. Both of them are grinning like people who just got away with murder – but that’s not even all. Hibana, a few metres away, also gapes up at him, pointing and apparently making the others aware because most of them turn and look and Jesus fucking Christ.

“Julien”, he murmurs urgently, pushing against the glass to move them back, further into the room, away from the freaking window which has betrayed him so. “Julien, please -”

“I’m so close”, his lover mews, his grip tightening. He’s not letting go and he’s not letting Blitz move, holy hell, soon everyone will have seen them, and this is when Mute takes out his phone.

No. Fucking. Way.

“Move, Julien, we have to -” He’s flailing, struggling against his lover who reacts by merely shoving Blitz’ upper half against the cold surface, the shock of it causing him to tense once more and this is apparently what does it for Rook.

Helplessly, Blitz stares down at his smiling colleagues while Rook unloads inside him, their hips flush and his hot breath in Blitz’ hair. It’s not made any better by the fact that he can feel literally every throb with which his lover pumps his sperm into him, he feels it all while shuddering in residual want and keeping up eye contact with people he’s going to have to face again very soon.

He wishes for a swift death. Or maybe immediate exile.

This is the worst.

“Julien, they’re looking at us”, he hisses quietly once Rook has started relaxing against him.

“What?” A short pause. “Oh shit. Oh fuck. I didn’t think -” Finally, fucking finally he allows Blitz to move, withdraws gingerly and takes a step back into the safety of darkness. “I’m so sorry, mon cœur, I didn’t know -”

Blitz is both too much in shock and overcome with mortification to reply, so he mutely watches as Rook hurries to wipe the window clean, draw the curtains shut again and switch the light back on. To his credit, he has the decency to look apologetic as he basically wrings his hands in worry.

“At least they had a nice view?”, the Frenchman offers tentatively and that is it. Blitz is going to have to look for a new job. There’s absolutely no way he’ll ever live this down, let alone be able to look any of them in the eyes again. Ever.

“Are you insane?!”, he shoots back, audibly upset. “They watched me – I can’t believe it. None of them even knew -”

“Well, they know now.” Rook takes his hand and drags him into the bathroom and into the spacious shower, quite obviously to take his mind off of this… horror. “It’s okay, mon cœur.”

“Literally none of this is okay!” He got carried away, agreed to Rook’s terms out of guilt; he should’ve refused instead but at that point it wasn’t his upper brain doing the thinking anymore. He wonders whether anyone is going to put ‘excessive embarrassment’ as his cause of death on his tombstone.

While Rook’s gentle caresses under the warm stream of water help soothe him a little, the growing shit-eating grin does exactly the opposite. “Come on, don’t be so grumpy. You’re going to laugh about it one day. And I know you wanted to tell people yourself, but now we don’t need to hide anymore. Really, it’s a win-win situation.”

Blitz doesn’t think he’ll have any success in trying to make Rook understand that if he was embarrassed about being too loud during sex already, being watched by people whom he personally knows is infinitely worse. Not even affectionate kisses can calm the shame raging inside him and so he at first vehemently protests when Rook suggests they go back outside. “There is no way in hell I can show my face right now, neither my pride nor I would survive that.”

“Look, you fell off the horse, you have to get back on it. Better get it over with now, right?”

He has a point. Blitz doesn’t like admitting it, but his cheery boyfriend is possibly right in this, even if his bright smile is incredibly irritating. Eventually he relents after realising that Rook won’t allow for any peace otherwise, splashes his face with some cold water to hopefully reduce the flaming colour a little and fidgets restlessly in the elevator. He’s so far refrained from telling even his closest friends about Rook, so this must come as a shock to some of them. And he definitely would’ve preferred they hear about it any other way.

Everyone’s attention shifts to them as soon as they step out in front of the hotel and Blitz very nearly turns on his heel to storm back in. Rook has placed a supportive hand on his back, nudging him forwards towards their beaming colleagues.

“There you are!”, Mute greets them excitedly. “Did you two -”

“Yes, we are together!”, Blitz snaps at him, interrupting him with the brusque announcement. “And no, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Deafening silence.

Buck pauses mid-sip, Ying looks up from where she was dramatically dipping a giggling Hibana, and Maestro seems speechless. Even Maestro doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“Riiight”, Mute replies awkwardly the way someone would react to an entirely uncalled-for slur by a racist grandparent, and Smoke murmurs a quiet and yet perfectly audible: “Weird flex but okay.”

Blitz has no idea what’s going on. Mutely, they all stare each other until Rook tugs at his sleeve and wordlessly points up at the hotel.

There’s an illuminated window, by Blitz’ estimate directly above his own room, and two silhouettes are illuminated in a tight embrace. They are the only thing visible and even then it’s a little difficult to make them out as the windows are tinted.

The windows are fucking tinted.

Not only that, their light was switched off and it seems that everyone was amazed at whatever transpired in the actually lit room, not theirs.

“Well”, Blitz says more to himself than anyone else, because.

Because well.

And then he finally gets why everyone is so thrilled, why people were laughing and smiling, why Mute felt the need to record whatever was happening above their room, in plain sight, very unlike what Rook and he were doing at the time.

“It’s Dom and Gilles, isn’t it?”, Rook wants to know, mirroring everyone else’s exhilaration and earns a few nods.

“They were adorable”, Ying fills him in and nearly drops Hibana, “so awkward around each other but so cute, they kept looking at each other and not knowing what to do with their hands, and a few minutes ago they finally kissed. Took them long enough, but they got there. Now what was that about you and Elias?”

“Nothing”, Blitz hurries to answer. He feels Rook’s gaze on him, remembers how well he reacted to the prospect of their friends knowing about them. “I mean – it’s true. We are together.”

And when Hibana finally hits the ground with an exaggerated shriek, it’s almost like a signal for everyone to go back to whatever it is they were doing previously. It’s as if nothing happened, only now Blitz has one secret less to weigh him down. And Rook is smiling at him as if he hung the stars.

“That didn’t go so badly, did it?”, the Frenchman purrs and snakes his arms around Blitz’ waist, pulling them flush. The urge to fight the casual display of affection is still present but Blitz squashes it without much effort, thinking back to Mute and Smoke leaning into each other as if it was the most natural thing on this world. And… it really is, isn’t it?

“Could’ve been a lot worse”, he agrees and kisses him. A few ‘awww’s erupt behind them and he doesn’t know whether they’re directed at them or maybe Bandit and Montagne who have gone back to kissing as well, but it doesn’t matter. They all know now and it’s certainly the better option compared to knowing everyone watched him get -

“Does this mean I can spend the night in your room?”

Rook is being cheeky and both of them are aware, he often jokingly suggests things despite knowing Blitz will say no, only this time he gets a nod without hesitation. “Yeah. I’d like that.” Rook’s instant joy makes it more than worth it, though it also prompts Blitz to clarify one thing extremely carefully: “But we’re never doing anything like this again.”

#rainbow six siege #blitz #rook #blitz/rook #fanfic #oneshot #I apparently wasn't aware of how fond I actually am of these two #but it was a lot of fun to write #bet you all saw this going a little differently

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pfenniged · 5 years

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♠ ACE REPRESENTATION MASTERLIST ♠

Sherlock Holmes.

Jughead Jones [in the reboot solo comics -coughcoughthanksriverdale-]

Let’s face it. Mostly everyone’s favourite literary characters are asexuals, but when faced with most asexuals in real life, people tend to get...

Weird.

‘Why don’t you like to go out?’

‘You just haven’t met the right guy.’

#WHYISITANYOFYOURBUSINESS

To be blunt, we lack the representation that other orientations have. For example,I’m twenty-six, and I didn’t have half of the resources/ representation growing up that is available today. Which is why this year, in my twenty-sixth year of life, I am proud to have experienced more asexual media/representation than I ever have before.

Which ALSO is why I knew I needed to make a list for my own health and myself to show that there IS positive representation out there, and show those aces younger than me (and maybe even older than me, if you’ve been struggling with your sexuality or lack thereof as long as I have) that we exist, and we are not simply ‘freaks’ to be judged and chided.

Which is why.

I am proud to present.

THE GIGANTIC HUGE UBER LIST OF ACE RESOURCES [trumpets]

This includes a list of historical asexual/demisexuals, young adult literature/ resource books, cute merchandise, asexual books currently being released in 2019, and additional resources. ♥

( P.S: I also labeled these if they feature any sort of intersectionality, such as POC protagonists, bisexuality/lesbianism, or any intersectional aspects to try to give people the biggest and broadest representation within the asexual field we can.

I also tried to include the literature that had the most positive representations and dispelled as much of the ‘myths’ about being asexual as possible, and presenting us as regular people in a strong powerful light, who just happen to be asexual. Some of these include dispelling myths around ‘YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY IT,’ ‘YOU’RE NOT REALLY QUEER,’ ‘THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU,’ ‘YOU MUST HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE,’ ETC. Anything dealing with dispelling absolutes. For example, I was sexually abused when I was a child, but I now know that even though I could have issues with sexuality due to trauma, my asexuality/ demisexuality is completely separate from my past, and I am proud to come to that conclusion. I hope I can help others to come to that conclusion, too.)

Lastly, I also put my own comments in brackets besides copied book descriptions/ biographies if I had anything else to contribute; hopefully someone besides myself might find this helpful! ♥

Historical Asexuals/ Demisexuals:

Emily Brontë: Emily Brontë was a very private person and as such it’s impossible to be entirely certain of her sexual orientation. Some Brontë scholars believe she died a virgin, never having had physical relationships with men or women. However, most Brontë scholars think that the content of her novels would suggest she may have been asexual, but she was not aromantic.

J.M. Barrie: The man who wrote Peter Pan into existence, was reportedly asexual. His marriage was never consummated and ended in divorce when his wife cheated on him. Because of his relationship with his neighbor children, and the subject matter of his books, some speculated Barrie was prone to pedophilia. Those who knew him closely vehemently deny Barrie ever exhibited such behavior. Instead his lack of sexual relationships was more likely due to his asexuality.

George Bernard Shaw: Renowned playwright George Bernard Shaw was a man far more interested in intellect than sex. He never consummated his marriage (also at the request of his wife, Charlotte Frances Payne-Townshend) and was a virgin until 29. Shaw told friends he appreciated the ability of sex to produce "a celestial flood of emotion and exaltation" but only as it compared to the "conscious intellectual activity" he strove for with his work.

Isaac Newton: Isaac Newton's supposed asexuality is based on his recorded behavior and lifestyle. He had strict religious views, never married, was obsessive in his scientific careers, and supposedly died a virgin. Whether he truly lacked sexual attraction or was simply too immersed in making massive scientific discoveries to have a sex life is unsure.

T.E. Lawrence: Tragically, T.E. Lawrence – a man immortalized in the film Lawrence of Arabia – was sexually assaulted while held prisoner during The Great War. His lack of sexual and romantic relationships in life were mostly attributed to this trauma but some scholars argue he may have been asexual. He had no documented relationships with men or women. Most notably, since it was the turn of the 20th century, Lawrence was known to be non-judgmental of homosexuals. His personal orientation may have motivated his tolerance.

Florence Nightingale: Interestingly, though "the Florence Nightingale effect" is a situation where a caregiver develops an attraction to the patient they are caring for, the effect's namesake, Florence Nightingale, was likely asexual. The famous nurse never married and instead chose to devote her life entirely to her work. She even refused a marriage proposal from a suitor who had been pursuing her for years. Nightingale rarely discussed her personal life and the term “asexual” was not widely used at the time, but asexual activists and scholars strongly suspect she lacked sexual interest.

Nikola Tesla: Nikola Tesla, the revolutionary engineer who was instrumental in the invention of electricity, also lived a life of celibacy typical of asexuals. He showed very little interest in sexual relationships throughout his life, preferring to focus on science. Many asexuals describe their lack of attraction as a blessing allowing them sharp focus. Once again, we have a person who could have been too busy (and brilliant) to focus on relationships, but who's asexuality likely allowed him to be busy (and brilliant). [Fun fact: I am actually related to ol’Nikola. Sometimes it’s nice to even think about someone in my family being asexual, because it makes me feel like we’d both be able to get along together when we get fixed in our little studies, research, and schemes ♥]

Frederic Chopin: Famed composer and pianist Frederic Chopin is supposed to also have been asexual. While he lived with writer George Sand, she noted in her biography that their connection was affectionate without being sexual. She described their affair as “eight years of maternal devotion," also noting, “He seemed to despise the courser side of human nature and...to fear to soil our love by further ecstasy.”Whether Chopin was uninterested in sex, or had reservations about consummating the relationship for other reasons, is unclear. Many scholars believe the famed pianist lacked sexual desire altogether.

John Ruskin: Victorian art critic John Ruskin was known to be particularly uninterested in sex. Though Ruskin was once married, he reportedly showed no interest in getting physical with his wife. Typical of other asexuals on this list, his marriage ended having never been consummated.

Cute Pins/ T-shirts/ Merch Representation:

Ace and Anxious Mug

Asexual Hearts Mug

Ace and Anxious Sweatshirt

Netflix and Actually Chilling Sweatshirt

World’s Okayest Grey Sexual Baseball Shirt

Ace Illuminati Pin

Asexual Flag Pin

Asexual Pride Flag Pin

Asexuality ‘Nope’ T-Shirt

‘Space Ace’ Astronaut Pin

Asexual ‘I Am Valid’ Heart Sticker

LGBTA+ GameBoy Sticker

‘I Put the A in the LGBTA’ Shirt

Young Adult Fiction/ Books about Asexuality:

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann: Alice's last girlfriend, Margo, ended things when Alice confessed she's asexual. Now Alice is sure she's done with dating... and then she meets Takumi. She can't stop thinking about him or the rom-com-grade romance feelings she did not ask for. When her blissful summer takes an unexpected turn and Takumi becomes her knight with a shiny library-employee badge, Alice has to decide if she's willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated-- or understood. [A bisexual POC protagonist; adorable fluffy, easy and sweet read].

All Out: The No-longer-secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages: Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love, and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. [This features several different types of queer stories, from transexual freedom fighters, but also a very sweet asexual love story set in a seventies roller rink with a POC protagonist].

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Lanford: Jo Langford offers a complete guide to sexual and social development, safety, and health for LGBTQ youth and those who love and support them. Written from a practical perspective, the author explores the realities of teen sexuality, particularly that of trans teens, and provides guidance and understanding for parents and kids alike. [Although this is a little rudimentary, I found it a great resource even in my twenties for someone coming out, or to slowly but carefully come out to those who may be uncomfortable or not understand asexuality, or not see it as a valid sexuality or lack thereof].

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Katie Ormsbee: Natasha 'Tash' Zelenka has found herself and her amateur web series plucked from obscurity and thrust in the limelight. And who wouldn't want fame and fortune? But along with the 40,000 new subscribers, the gushing tweets, and flashing Tumblr gifs, comes the pressure to deliver the best web series ever. As Tash struggles to combat the critics and her own doubts, she finds herself butting heads with her family and friends - the ones that helped make her show, Unhappy Families (a modern adaption of Anna Karenina, written by Tash's eternal love Leo Tolstoy), what it is today. And when Unhappy Families is nominated for a prestigious award, Tash's confusing cyber-flirtation with an Internet celeb suddenly has the potential to become something IRL if she can figure out how to tell him that she's a romantic asexual. But her new relationship creates tension with her friend Paul since he thought Tash wasn't interested in relationships ever. All Tash wants to think about is the upcoming award ceremony in Orlando, even though she'll have to face all the friends she steamrolled to get there. But isn't that just the price you pay for success?

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire: The story is set in a boarding school for teenagers who have passed through "doorways" into fantasy worlds only to be evicted back into the real world. It serves as something of a recovery center for boarders who find they no longer fit in, either in the "real" world or their own uncomprehending families. For a fortunate few it is just a way station until they can find their ways back to the worlds they do fit into; for others, it's the least bleak choice in what may be a life-long exile. This unhappy ending for the students takes a terrifying turn when some of their number start turning up dead. A small group joins together in an attempt to expose the person committing these murders before it is too late to save the school, or even themselves.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker: What if you weren’t sexually attracted to anyone?A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that “everyone” wants sex, that “everyone” understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that “everyone” wants to date and mate. But that’s where asexual people are left out—they don’t find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that’s okay.When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as “asexual.” Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people’s experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones [A good beginning place to start if you’re considering your asexuality. Also provides reassurances about the most common stereotypes concerning asexuality].

Young Adult Fiction/ Books about Asexuality Coming Out in 2019:

Switchback by Danika Stone: Vale loves to hike, but kind of hates her classmates. Ash is okay with his classmates, but kind of hates the outdoors. So, needless to say they are both fairly certain that the overnight nature hike with their PE class is going to be a hellish experience. But when they get separated from the group during a storm, they have worse things to worry about than bullies and blisters.Lost in the Canadian wilderness with limited supplies, caught in dangerous weather conditions, and surrounded by deadly wildlife, it's going to take every bit of strength, skill, and luck they can muster to survive.

Not Your Backup (Sidekick Squad #3) by C.B. Lee: Emma Robledo has a few more responsibilities that the usual high school senior, but then again, she and her friends have left school to lead a fractured Resistance movement against a corrupt Heroes League of Heroes. Emma is the only member of a supercharged team without powers, and she isn't always taken seriously. A natural leader, Emma is determined to win this battle, and when that's done, get back to school. As the Resistance moves to challenge the League, Emma realizes where her place is in this fight: at the front. [This is a third in a series, but the main character has recently come out as asexual at the end of the last book].

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann: Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to her favorite place—Misty Haven and her granny’s diner, Goldeen’s. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall.…until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen.Newly crowned, Winnie is forced to take center stage at a never-ending list of community royal engagements. Almost immediately, she discovers that she’s deathly afraid of it all: the spotlight, the obligations, and the way her Summer King wears his heart, humor, and honesty on his sleeve.To salvage her summer Winnie must conquer her fears, defy expectations, and be the best Winnie she knows she can be—regardless of what anyone else thinks of her. [Another POC protagonist and promises to be a cute summer read in the vein of Gilmore Girls. Claire Kann’s first book was the adorable ‘Lets Talk About Love’ which reads as an asexual rom-com. This also promises to be absolutely precious.].

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark: Ocean's 8 meets The Breakfast Club in this fast-paced, multi-perspective story about five teens determined to hack into one billionaire absentee father's company to steal tuition money.For Nari, aka Narioka Diane, aka hacker digital alter ego "d0l0s," it's college and then a career at "one of the big ones," like Google or Apple. Keagan, her sweet, sensitive boyfriend, is happy to follow her wherever she may lead. Reese is an ace/aro visual artist with plans to travel the world. Santiago is off to Stanford on a diving scholarship, with very real Olympic hopes. And Bellamy? Physics genius Bellamy is admitted to MIT--but the student loan she'd been counting on is denied when it turns out her estranged father--one Robert Foster--is loaded. Nari isn't about to let her friend's dreams be squashed by a deadbeat billionaire, so she hatches a plan to steal just enough from Foster to allow Bellamy to achieve her goals.

The Last Eight by Laura Pohl: Extinction was just the beginning in this thrilling, post-apocalyptic debut, perfect for fans of The 5th Wave series. Clover Martinez has always been a survivor, which is the reason she isn't among the dead when aliens invade and destroy Earth as she knows it.Clover is convinced she's the only one left until she hears a voice on the radio urging her to go to the former Area 51. When she arrives, she's greeted by a band of misfits who call themselves The Last Teenagers on Earth.Only they aren't the ragtag group of heroes Clover was expecting. The seven strangers seem more interested in pretending the world didn't end than fighting back, and Clover starts to wonder if she was better off alone. But when she finds a hidden spaceship within the walls of the compound, she doesn't know what to believe...or who to trust. [I’ve read there is also aromantic representation in this book too, so helpful for the Aros out there as well ♥]

LGBTA+ Comics with Possible Asexual Representation/ Influence:

Lumberjanes: At Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types, things are not what they seem. Three-eyed foxes. Secret caves. Anagrams. Luckily, Jo, April, Mal, Molly, and Ripley are five rad, butt-kicking best pals determined to have an awesome summer together…and they’re not gonna let a magical quest or an array of supernatural critters get in their way! [I LOVE THESE COMICS SO MUCH I SWEAR THEY’RE SO DAMN CUTE ♥]

The Backstagers: When Jory transfers to the private, all-boys school St. Genesius, he figures joining the stage crew would involve a lot of just fetching props and getting splinters. To his pleasant surprise, he discovers there’s a door backstage that leads to different worlds, and all of the stagehands know about it!All the world’s a stage…but what happens behind the curtain is pure magic!

Check, Please!: Check, Please! is written and drawn by Ngozi Ukazu. Eric Bittle—former Georgia junior figure skating champion, vlogger extraordinaire, and amateur pâtissier—is starting his freshman year playing hockey at the prestigious Samwell University in Samwell, Massachusetts. And it’s basically nothing like co-ed club hockey back in the South. For one? There’s checking.It’s a story about hockey and friendship and bros and trying to find yourself during the best 4 years of your life. [You can also read the cartoons online; it’s actually started by Tumblrite/ Yale Grad who is positively adorbs and I follow her on Instagram and I’m sort of obsessed with her/ it’s about hockey. CANADAAAAAAAA [x]]

And Lastly, Extra Online Resources For Asexuality:

UCLA LGBT Campus Resource Center: Asexuality

The Trevor Project on Asexuality

Campus Pride: Asexuality

The Canadian Centre for Gender Diversity and Awareness

Asexuality needs to be a recognized as its own, unique sexual orientation, Canadian experts say

Asexuality.org

Hopefully this helps! ♥♥♥

#resources #lgbta #lgbt+ community #asexuality #demisexuality #representation #reading #literature #merchandise #masterpost #my resources

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gawaine · 5 years

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you've been given a chance to have a meal with 6 people. anyone can be invited, past or present, living or not, real or fictional, famous or otherwise. catch is you have to cook a meal for each of them, only one dish. you're allowed to have only 1 fictional character. you can keep 3 for the whole night till next morning, 3 will leave after eating the meal. And no language barrier. Who are those 6 ppl and what will be the dish?

Hmm, this is a really cool question (and excellent final act during my study break) (this got really long. You have so much more than you bargained for. Would place it under the cut but nah, I love these people and this q. Sorry for answering eons too late);

I’m assuming there’s no dietary requirements, so my amazing salmon salad is what I’m cooking. Plus, if they’re from the past, they could potentially do with the protein?

[... I answered this and then realised I was allowed fiction. Fuck.]

[... I have redrafted my reserve list several times. This q is taking me the best part of a half hour.]

[... Fuck. No. Changes to the main list must be made.]

Confirmed guests: Khadija bint Khuwaylid, Akbar the Great, Sansa Stark, Oscar Wilde, Oliver Saks and Hawraa Zakery.

Just dinner: Hawraa Zakery, Oscar Wilde, Oliver Saks.

[... I needed more females than in my original draft. Holding back the rant about the lack of representation of strong females in history and every career ever, as I had to Google these people bc I realised answering this how, even as I as a feminist, know of so little strong historical/written figures.]

Reserves who I’m going to get punched in the face by the universe for bumping; Ibn Sina, Rumi, Leonardo di Vinci, Cristina Yang.

If it were a dinner party, aka additional guests who would be invited before all the other invites (after the reserves) went out and my favourite funky glasses were allocated for (in order); Alexander the Great, Hades (+ Persephone, duh), Cleopatra, Captain Marvel, Rebecca Lee Crumpler.*

[... FUCK I KEEP THINKING OF MORE PEOPLE.]

Super added bonus round because I’m an indecisive lil’ bitch: King Arthur and Merlin (knights and Lady of the Lake PLUS Morgana would be ideal, but that’s for like... the general list), Fa Mulan, Arya Stark, Ned Stark, the Muskeeters (plus D’Artagnan ofc).

* = I wanted to say Elizabeth Blackwell, but lbr, even as the first female surgeon, her experiences as a white woman would not be as relatable as Rebecca Lee Crumpler.

Who the fuck are these people and why are you inviting them to dinner, Hannah?HMMM SO GLAD YOU ASKED pls prep yourself for salty-ass additional comments (by order of priority) [... okay this is going under the cut bc I’ve been doing this for almost an hour and it’s long and cool ok];

Khadija bint Khuwaylid | Wife of Prophet Muhammad (SWAS), first female follower of Islam.Wealthy, educated divorcee who married a man a significant amount of years her junior in a sexist, ageist patriarchal world? Who was his first follower in what would later become the fastest growing, youngest and tbh probs most controversial religion in the modern world, whilst being a beloved spouse? I feel like she’d have some fucking useful insights to life tbh.Plus, it could never hurt to have a genuine, theological conversation regarding religion, philosophy and being a woman in the modern world (which, after some confusion, I feel like she’d still vibe with tbh) would be... Awesome.

Akbar the Great | Mughal Emperor at the height of its power.Initially first on my list. So many questions. So much advice. I’m also assuming my Dad would be invited and even if not - urgh, it’d be so cool. He was the Original Dude who, via basis of his marriages, formed ‘Desi’ South Asian (e.g large parts of India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, etc) culture that has lasted to the modern day, whilst solidifying the Middle Eastern roots of the language and culture as well (e.g Persia - inc. surrounds in modern geography). He helped the expansion of Islam and was a figure of political enlightenment, encouraging acceptance in religious and racial diversity throughout his empire.I wanna know so much. I need to know so. Much. How did he feel about his family’s conversion to Islam? Their assimilation into a culture that, largely through his influence, created the mixing pot of cultures that exists as the Desi identity today? Bearing in mind the current political climate, does he regret that mix - because if that mix hadn’t started, there is an argument that more subtle divisions may have lessened the resentment and tensions between groups over hundreds of years of complicated history (not that that’s necessarily my view)?

Sansa Stark | fictional character from Game of ThronesShe has been through so much, she’s so smart, she’s so underrated and puts up with so much shit inside the GoT universe and outside, she is literally the embodiment of the ‘perfect’ 21st century young woman, with the difficulties attached to that included (though not from lack of abysmally poor characterisation from the male writers. Yes, all of them).Her over Arya because I feel Sansa more relatable and I feel she’d be a useful buffer at dinner and a delight to crack jokes w/ if things went South. Not Ned because idk if he’d walk in carrying his own head (how does this work?) and like... More females pls. She was literally the first female I thought of and now I can’t unsee it.

Oliver Saks | neurologist, authorI can’t believe all this time, I thought he was a brain surgeon and he’s not. What the fuck? But Henry Marsh would be potentially abrasive at dinner.I read my first Saks book at around 8; I then went out of my way to reference my own outdated, battered copy in my first neuro assignment at med school.All of the med talk. He was such a fantastic author and neurologist and did the most amazing research and I need all the career advice I can get.

Oscar Wilde | authorBecause I’m a fangirl and he wrote my favourite book. He’d also bring the fun to the party. And possibly the scandal, which is why I’d sit him near to Sansa.

Hawraa Zakery | human rights activist, mental health & psychology researcher, life coachI actually had to Google women to include and this one screams out at me. So much interesting, cool stuff.So much advice on looking after my messy ass self.

The others (who aren’t well known);

Rumi | famous poetI only chose Wilde out of loyalty to my favourite book, otherwise... Rumi. Famed poet, philosopher and academic. Yes pls. I’d also say Kabir, though Rumi influenced Shakespeare, so... Ya know.

Ibn Sina | ‘the father of early medicine’ aka Avicenna (but that’s not his nAME)Does this need justifying?

Rebecca Lee Crumpler | first female surgeon of colourSo many q’s. So much bowing.

Okay, I have to stop now because it’s an hour later and this was meant to be a fifteen minute revision break and that did not happen, did it?

#fave #inspo #hannah the med studeent #the student diaries #i want to tag this as everyone but i don't want to clutter tags but cool people are on my list and u should read about them ok #Anonymous

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mint-yooxgi · 6 years

Text

You’re Next - Yandere!Serial Killer!Jongin X Reader

Yandere AU - Part of the Yandere!EXO X Reader Series

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Semi-Smut (Not really, just mentions of it)

Pairing: Jongin X Reader

Words: 8,358

Warning: This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Halloween update is here! Even though it’s technically not Halloween anymore, oops. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this one, it’s defiantly creepier than the rest. As always, this is just my interpretation of this archetype and the song. I do not believe Jongin, nor any of the other members, past or present, of EXO would act like this. Feedback is always greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoy!

A smile makes its way onto your face as you step into the heated coffee shop. Finally, your tense shoulders seem to relax due to the warmth that is now surrounding your body. The cool Autumn air is not sparing anyone from its cold, feeling much colder then it usually does this time of year. After a minute, you can feel the blood returning to your fingers.

You stand in line and wait to order your favourite seasonal drink, excited to finally be able to taste the spices after a year long wait. Your eyes scan the menu, keeping you distracted from those around you, and also seeing what new additions they’ve added this year.

Stepping up to order, you tell the barista your name, pay, and move off to the side to wait for your drink to be made. Once it’s done, you take it and move to sit in your favourite spot at the back windows of the coffee shop.

You sit down with a sigh. You place your head in your hand which is propped up on the table and stare blankly out the window. Your eyes watch a bunch of leaves get swept away by the wind as more continue to fall to the ground. You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the news reporter’s voice on the TV above the coffee machines.

“…fourth victim in the past three months. The main targets seem to be young women in the downtown area. No one knows much on the alleged killer, except for the fact that they go by the name of ‘Kai’, so if anyone knows anything or sees any sort of suspicious activity in their neighbourhood, they are encouraged to contact the authorities immediately. The police are warning everyone in the city to be on high alert due to these gruesome murders, and to stay inside after dark…”

“Horrible, isn’t it?” A voice says, causing you to jump a little in your seat, then turn to look at the stranger standing beside you.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” You ask him, eyeing him over suspiciously.

“Oh, my bad,” he says, smiling at you. “My name is Jongin. Is it okay if I sit?”

You just raise your eyebrow at him in response while taking a sip from your drink. He takes this as a ‘yes’ and sits across from you.

“I know, I know, you can’t be too careful now-a-days with who you talk to, given that there’s a serial killer on the lose, but I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity of saying hello to the beautiful girl sitting by herself at the window,” he says, still being stared down by your suspicious gaze. “Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I promise I’m not a killer. You can trust me.”

Both your eyebrows raise at this, eyes widening sceptically while your coffee cup purposely covers half your face. You take another sip before putting it down.

“And what if I say that I don’t trust you?” You speak after a moment of silence.

At this, he smirks a little bit. “Then why don’t you get to know me, and then you can decide for yourself whether or not you can trust me.”

“We’ll see, pretty boy,” You smirk back at him, getting up from the table and throwing away your empty coffee cup. You glance over your shoulder one last time before exiting the shop to see him with an expression of disbelief on his face. Looks like someone isn’t used to getting rejected on the first try.

Jongin’s eyes follow you out of the coffee shop and down the street until he can no longer see you. He smirks to himself, glad to know you won’t be an easy target to capture. With his last victim, she almost didn’t even put up a fight, immediately falling for his charm and looks. She was almost too easy, not an enjoyable kill at all.

He picks his victims specifically, taking his time to research them, and getting a sense of who they are before he strikes. You, on the other hand, are a spontaneous decision.

He saw you walk into the shop, so blissfully unaware of the monster lurking in the corner. Oblivious, just like everyone else is, as to the danger he imposes. As soon as he saw you, he knew you were going to be his next victim, and he doesn’t even know your name yet.

This is so unlike him. He doesn’t know exactly why he’s so drawn to you, just that he knows that he needs to kill you, to watch your beautiful face contort in fear, and in pain. He can’t wait for that moment, when he finally watches the light die from behind your eyes, the hope vanishing with nothing but imminent death approaching.

He smiles to himself as he imagines all the ways he can torture you, daydreaming vivid horrors unbeknownst to those surrounding him. He makes his way out of the coffee shop, following the general direction he saw you walk off in. He needs to do some research.

Arriving back at his apartment, Jongin pulls out his laptop and sits on the couch. He syncs his phone, allowing for the image of you to transfer into his facial recognition database. He took a few pictures of you while you weren’t paying attention, your eyes either focused on the leaves outside or on the images that were flashing across the TV screen. Never before has he been so grateful for hacking into this system.

Once he hears his computer ping with a match, a wide grin spreads across his face. He’s found you. He clicks on the first link he can find for your social media accounts, learning more about you then he should be able to, but with his skills, things like this are a breeze.

After a few hours of researching, he feels he has a good idea as to who you are. He lists what he’s discovered in his head. Your first name is (Y/n), you are 21 years old with a birthday in a few weeks, you have a pet cat named Charlie, you live on your own in an apartment complex on the corner of Kane and Able, you don’t speak with your parents often, but you have a good relationship, and finally, the most important fact, you do not have a significant other at the moment.

He lets out a chuckle at this. That is probably the most surprising fact to him, that you don’t have a romantic partner at the moment. Considering the way you look, he would have thought guys would be begging to go on dates with you, but this just makes his job of getting to know you easier. No obstacles in the way when trying to make you fall for him and play right into his trap.

The next day, you wake up shortly after ten. You sit up in bed, stretch, then get ready for the day. Luckily, you’ve gotten the week off work for working almost every day last month, so you don’t have to go back until next Monday, and considering it’s only Tuesday, you can’t wait to spend the rest of your time off doing nothing.

Once you have a shower and change into your outfit for the day, you decide to go back to your favourite coffee shop and spend some time there reading. You grab your purse and head out the door, locking it behind you.

Once again, you are grateful for the warm air that surrounds you upon entering the coffee shop. You order your favourite drink and return to the spot you always sit in at the back by the windows. You pull out your book from your purse and flip to the section you are currently reading, getting lost in the words on the page.

About an hour passes, constantly hearing the bell chime above the entrance singling the arrival or departure of customers. You pay little attention to them though, as you are so immersed in your book, so much so that you fail to notice the chair opposite yours scraping against the floor as it’s pulled back and a body sitting down across from you.

“What are you reading?” A voice startles you into almost dropping your book onto the table in front of you.

You send a glare at the person now sitting across from you before going back to the words on the page, making a point to flip the page loudly once you’re done, pointedly ignoring the man sitting before you.

“Is it a crime to be curious, now?” He teases, propping his right arm on the table and resting his head against his open palm.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes as you place the book onto the table in front of you. You open them only to glare at him. “Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but I thought I made it very clear yesterday that I’m not interested.” You calmly state, putting emphasis on the last two words to see if he’ll finally take the hint.

“Aw, but you don’t even know me,” he pouts.

“Exactly,” you say, going back to your book. “I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Okay, okay, I can take a hint,” he says, raising his arms in defence as he stands up. “I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble.”

With that, he leaves the coffee shop, your eyes trailing him the entire time. Once you determine he’s not coming back, you return to your book, glad to not have any further distractions.

Meanwhile, Jongin scowls to himself as he walks down the street and into the park, kicking a stone along the path. Why must you be so difficult? In a way, he’s almost glad you’re not giving into him easily, it’ll make capturing you after gaining your trust so much more fulfilling. For now though, he needs to come up with a way for you to at least be his friend, or else he wont be able to do anything to you.

That night, you sit in your apartment watching a movie while curled up with a blanket on your couch. You glance out the window and see the clear night sky, stars twinkling like fairy lights outside. You smile to yourself as you turn your attention back to the screen.

Outside, Jongin lurks by said window, peering in and watching your movement, undetected due to the cover of darkness. How peaceful you look sitting there, how happy. How blissfully unaware you are to the monster lurking just outside your apartment.

He can feel the corners of his mouth turn up in a small smile, watching your expressions change as the movie progresses. He can tell you’re watching a comedy based off of the corners of your mouth raising every now and then in a sort of smile. He almost wishes he could be there beside you, to be able to hold you in his arms. To protect you from monsters like him.

He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. What is he thinking? All this is making him soft, and why? He doesn’t know. He quickly moves down the fire escape, deciding to call it a night and watch you some other time. He has all he needs for now, he just needs to get a move on with your trust.

The rest of the week passes fairly quickly, much too quickly for your liking, and soon enough, you’re back at work Monday morning. You trudge into work, greeting your coworkers with a half smile as you prepare for your shift.

You don’t work anywhere too fancy, just the local diner, to help pay for the bills until you can finish school and find a better job to suit your credentials, but until then, it’s service with a smile.

The only downside to your shift on your first day back after a week break is that it’s from open to close. About halfway through your shift, you start wanting to just go home and relax, already missing the comfort of your bed. You let out a sigh, leaning on the counter as you take a small break.

“You okay?” Your coworker, Jennie, asks you.

“Yeah, just a bit tired is all,” you reply, standing up straight to greet the new wave of customers that come in for the afternoon rush. She gives you a concerned look in return. “Honestly, Jennie, I’m fine. Now, lets get back to work before Fred fries both of our asses.”

With that, you both giggle and get back to work. Fred is the owner of the diner, who is one man you don’t want to mess with. Luckily, you view him as a sort of second father to you, and he sees both you and Jennie as his daughters. He may be a big, intimidating man, but he has an even bigger heart.

Finally, the day comes to a close with the last round of customers leaving for the night. It’s just you and Fred as you wrap up your last customer for the night, bidding them a farewell. You both quickly clean the diner and close up for the night since Jennie has already left as she got off over an hour ago.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you to your apartment? It’s not safe at night, not with a serial killer on the loose,” Fred says, locking the main entrance.

“I’m positive, besides,” you say, giving a reassuring smile to Fred. “I’m sure Pam is worrying about you already. I’ll be fine on my own, it’s only a few blocks anyways.”

“If you’re sure, (Y/n),” Fred says warily, not wanting you to be on your own, but he knows you’re right about Pam worrying about him.

“I’m sure, Fred,” you say. “Now go before Pam sends a search party to look for you.”

With those words, Fred bids you a goodnight and to call him if anything goes wrong. You both head your separate ways, with you calling a quick ‘see you tomorrow’ over your shoulder.

You pull your jacket closer around yourself as a gust of cold air blows down the street. Your eyes look all around at your surroundings, making yourself paranoid at every little movement you see or sound you hear. Maybe you should have accepted Fred’s offer to walk you home, considering there is a murderer on the loose.

You pass by the park that’s four blocks away from your apartment, the leaves crunching under your feet as you walk along the path. You notice a man leaning against a lamppost up ahead who is watching you approach him. You purposely avoid eye contact, staring straight ahead as you walk by him with your head held high.

You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you let the air escape your lungs once you’ve past him, but your victory is short lived as you are pushed into the closest alleyway and pinned against the wall, a body pressed against your back as your face is pushed against the wall.

“Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?” A raspy voice says right by your ear, making you shiver. “I just want to have a little fun.”

“Get off of me!” You yell, struggling to get out of this man’s grip, but to no avail. You grit your teeth in frustration and continue to twist and turn to get out of this man’s hold.

“Stop squirming, will you? I said I just want to have some fun,” he growls.

“And I believe the lady told you to get off of her,” a somewhat familiar voice says from behind you.

The man turns to look at the figure now standing at the entrance of the alleyway, scowling. “Stay out of it, kid, this is none of your business,” he spits.

You don’t hear a reply and you think your saviour has left you alone with this disgusting creep of a man as all you do hear is the shuffling of feet. Your breathing picks up as you think of what’s about to happen to you.

“Now, where were we?” He says, inhaling your scent and pushing you harder against the wall.

You close your eyes and will for this all to be a bad dream. You stay perfectly still, waiting for what is to come next, but it never does. Instead, you feel yourself be released, the weight of the man pinning you to the wall no longer existent. You open your eyes and see the man who had been pinning you to the wall on the ground, looking at something to your right. You turn your head to see the guy from the coffee shop standing next to you.

“This isn’t over,” the man says, getting up and running down the opposite end of the alley.

Once he’s out of your sight, you finally release the breath you’ve been holding. You turn to face the guy.

“Thank you,” you say, just above a whisper, not trusting your voice not to crack if you were to speak any louder.

“Don’t mention it,” he replies with a kind smile, turning away from you to start walking away.

“It’s Jongin, right?” Your words make him stop in his tracks, a sinister grin stretching across his face, one which you cannot see.

“Yeah,” he says, turning back around to face you with a kind smile still present on his face.

“Would you,” you pause, taking a deep breath. “Would you mind just accompanying me the last few blocks to my apartment? I’d feel better if you were with me.”

“Sure,” he says, noticing how you won’t meet his eyes. He can’t help but to think of how cute you look in this moment.

You walk in silence together for a few minute until you decide to break it.

“I’m (Y/n), by the way,” you tell him.

“Well, it’s nice to finally learn your name, though I wish it were under better circumstances,” he jokes, trying to lighten the mood. You crack a smile at this.

“Don’t be getting any ideas,” you smirk, turning to face him once outside your apartment complex.

“Well, considering you don’t look like you want to bash my brains out this time, I’ll consider it a step in a positive direction,” he teases, making you giggle.

“If you say so,” you tease back, pulling out your key to unlock the building’s main doors.

“Baby steps, baby steps,” he smiles, making you shake your head at his antics.

You give him one final smile before turning back around and entering your building, but before you let the doors close, you turn to him one last time.

“Oh, and Jongin,” he turns back around to face you when he hears your voice call out to him. “Thanks, again. I really mean it.”

At this he just smiles at you, giving you a slight nod of his head to which you smile back and let the doors shut behind you. You make your way onto the elevator and finally into your apartment for the night. You get ready for bed and immediately fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. What a night you’ve had.

Downstairs, Jongin smiles to himself, that went even better than he could have ever imagined. He got you to tell him your name and you let him walk you home the rest of the way. However, his mood soon turns sour as he thinks of the man he hired to do this to you. He wasn’t supposed to do that, he was only supposed to scare you a bit, causing you to run into him down the street. Looks like he needs to teach this man a lesson on touching things that are not his to touch.

He finds the man sitting on a bench in the park, waiting for Jongin’s return. His scowl deepens as he walks up to him.

“What the fuck was that?” Jongin spits.

“You told me to scare her, so that’s what I did,” he replies nonchalantly. “Not my fault she’s hot.”

At his words, Jongin’s anger comes to a boiling point. How dare he talk like that about you! His movements are so quick, almost inhuman, that the man doesn’t register how close Jongin is until he’s being held by his own throat.

“I told you to chase her down the street, not try and rape her, you disgusting excuse of a human,” he spits, tightening his grip around the man’s neck.

The man claws at Jongin’s hands, but it’s no use, the grip he has is too strong. His rage blinding him, Jongin drags the man down the street and to his car. Banging the man’s head against the cement wall, Jongin tosses his body into the trunk of his car once he know’s the man has passed out. Driving to his favourite place, Jongin spends the night torturing the man until his anger diminishes, and the man is dead.

The next morning, you wake up nice and early to get ready for work. Grabbing a quick shower, you make yourself a small breakfast and head to work, but not before glancing at the calendar hung by your fridge. A smile spreads across your face as you realize, only two more days until he’s back.

You make it to work and spend the first hour serving coffee to just one person. You can already tell the day is going to be slow due to the lack of customers the diner is experiencing. You sit at the counter on one of the stools and turn on the news, the headline immediately catching your attention.

Man Found Dead in Park.

Your eyes widen as they show a picture of the victim on screen. It’s the man from last night. Your heart rate picks up as you listen to the news anchor relay the story.

“…found early this morning, looks to be the work of ‘Kai’. The body is in the worse condition the police have seen so far dealing with this case. This is unusual, as he typically picks female victims, so now no one is safe…”

You watch as the TV gets shut off, still staring blankly at it despite nothing appearing on screen. You slowly turn to face Fred who looks concerned for you.

“Last night, when I was walking home, that man jumped me. That could have been me. I could have been the next victim. That could have been me,” You say, a fearful look on your face.

Fred immediately places a comforting hand on your shoulder, reassuring you that everything will be alright, and that you should go home and get some rest for the next few days. “It’s not safe anymore, he’s in your area.”

You merely nod your head in response, standing up to collect your things, and moving towards the door. Before you’re able to step outside, you collide with a solid chest.

“Sorry,” you mumble, not looking up at whoever you’ve bumped into, instead going to move around them.

“(Y/n)? I didn’t know you worked here,” Jongin lies cheerfully until he notices the grim expression on your face. Immediately he’s filled with concern, wanting to know who caused you such emotional turmoil. “Are you okay?”

You choose to ignore him, stepping around him and continuing to exit the diner to go back to your apartment and rest. He follows you regardlessly.

“(Y/n)?” He asks, matching pace with you down the street. He almost walks past you when you stop walking all of a sudden, turning to look him in the eyes with a pained expression on your face.

“Remember that man from last night? Yeah, well, apparently he’s dead now, due to the serial killer on the loose. That could have been me,” you say, panic evident in your voice as you continue walking down the street. “He was in my area last night, I could have been killed.”

Jongin stays quiet, allowing for the weight of your words to sink in. The two of you walk in silence for a few more minutes until he speaks. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” you reply, looking down at the ground.

“Well, if you need anything, anything at all, please feel free to call me,” he tells you. “Here, why don’t you enter in your phone number into my phone and I’ll send you a text so that way you have mine.”

You look at him a bit warily as you take his phone from his outstretched hand and enter in your number. You hand it back to him and he gives you a reassuring smile.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” He says. “You’ll be fine, I promise.”

He waves goodbye to you as you enter your apartment complex. You give him a small smile back before shutting the door behind you and entering the elevator. You let out a sigh as the elevator makes it’s way up to your floor, reassuring yourself that you’ll be okay, just like Jongin said.

The rest of the day is spent by yourself watching old reruns of your favourite show. You can’t help but feel paranoid being by yourself, feeling as if the murderer is hiding somewhere in your apartment.

Later that night, Jongin messages you, asking if you’re alright, to which you reply that you could be better, but you’re alright for now. You won’t admit to him how shocked you still are over this whole situation, not even wanting to admit it to yourself.

You head to bed that night, unable to get any sleep due to the paranoia keeping you up. You feel as though you’re being watched, as if someone is hiding in the darkness of your apartment waiting to strike. You wish he would hurry up and come back already.

In the morning, you pull yourself out of bed to make yourself a coffee. What little sleep you did get did not help your situation at all. You trudge into the living room and flop down on your couch, letting out a yawn.

You check your phone and see Fred has sent you a message telling you to take the rest of this week off until you’re feeling better and things calm down a little bit. You’re grateful that he’s so understanding, and also that you no longer have to go into work today, or for the rest of the week for that matter.

You do your best to busy yourself throughout the day, keeping your mind preoccupied with things so you don’t need to think about what has happened. After a few hours of watching Netflix, you feel as though you can’t sit still anymore. You’re dying to get out of your apartment for some fresh air, but you don’t want to go out alone.

You text a few of your friends to see what they’re up to, but most of them either say they’re busy with work or something else. You let out a sigh of defeat until you remember one other person you can ask.

You: Hey, want to go grab a coffee with me? I need to get out of my apartment and get some fresh air.

Within seconds, you get a reply back.

Jongin: Sure! Regular place?

You quickly reply with a ‘yes’ and get ready to go out. You slip on your shoes and head out the door, making sure to lock it behind you.

Walking down the street, you are hyper-aware of everyone you pass. Quickening your pace, you manage to arrive at the coffee shop within a few minutes. Stepping inside, you already see Jongin sitting at your usual table with two drinks in front of him. His head raises when he hears the bell chime above the door singling your arrival. A smile immediately takes over his face and you give him a small one back as you sit across from him.

“I already got you something, I hope you don’t mind,” he says, sliding one of the drinks over to you.

“Thanks, but you didn’t have to get me anything,” you say, taking the drink into your hands and taking a small sip. Your eyes immediately light up as you taste the familiar spices of your favourite drink. “This is one of my favourites, how did you know?”

“Lucky guess, I guess,” he chuckles, his eyes crinkling as he smiles at you enjoying your coffee. He feels his heart skip a beat when you look at him with that smile on your face, happy to know he is the one to bring you joy.

He doesn’t know why you’re affecting him this much, but for some odd reason, his urge to kill you is diminishing slowly the more time he spends with you. The more time he spends with you, the more he wants to protect you, to keep you by his side so you can actually grow to love him as he grows more fond of you. Sure killing you would have been nice in the moment, but having you stay with him forever will be far more entertaining.

He listens to you ramble on about yourself, noticing how you relax more and more the more time passes spent together. He smiles as he listens to you recount a story from your childhood and all he knows is that he never wants this moment to end.

A few hours have passed since you’ve arrived at the coffee shop, that the sun is now set and the streetlights are starting to flicker on. You check the time and realize how late it’s getting and decide to call it a day since you don’t want to be walking back to your apartment too late.

“I should probably get going now, it’s getting late,” you say with a smile while standing up.

“Let me walk you to your apartment,” Jongin says, standing with you. “That way I know you get back safely.”

“That would be great, thanks,” you smile at him and nod your head.

You both leave the coffee shop together, him holding the door for you on your way out. The first few minutes of the walk is in silence, simply enjoying the other’s company. You’re glad that Jongin is walking with you, you feel safer with him then if you were alone.

When you arrive back to your apartment, you notice a figure leaning against the side of the building. They turn to face you and your eyes widen when you realize who it is. You let out a small squeal of joy and run into his open arms.

“Junmyeon, I missed you! I thought you weren’t going to be back until tomorrow!” You exclaim, hugging him tightly to which he does the same to you.

“I came back early to surprise you, but you weren’t here, so I decided to wait for you until you got back,” he explains, pulling away from you to hold you at arms length.

You bring your hand up to cup the side of his face as you both stare into each other’s eyes. You both start to lean in until you hear a clearing of someone’s throat come from behind you. The two of you break apart and you turn around to face Jongin whom you forgot was standing there.

“Sorry about that,” you say, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly. “Oh, um, Jongin, this is Junmyeon,” you introduce them to each other. “My boyfriend.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Junmyeon smiles at Jongin.

“Likewise,” Jongin says blankly back. “Anyways, I should probably get going then. Have a goodnight you two.”

With that, Jongin turns and starts walking down the street. You call out a farewell and bid him a goodnight as well, turning back to face Junmyeon with a smile.

Jongin is furious. A boyfriend! He did not know you have a boyfriend. That would explain why you were so cold to him at the start though. He grits his teeth as he remembers how happy you looked in Junmyeon’s arms. That should be him.

Jongin thought that today was going great. He actually got you to open up to him and meet him for coffee, but now this? He did his research, and nowhere did you ever indicate you had a boyfriend. This makes everything that much more difficult. Now he has a pest in the way that he needs to dispose of.

Jongin silently makes his way up your fire escape, sitting just outside your living room window. Watching. Waiting.

You unlock the door to your apartment, ushering Junmyeon inside. He smiles at you as you both make your way to the living room of your apartment and sit on the couch. You curl into his side as you put on a movie for the two of you to watch. He wraps a blanket around the two of you and kisses the top of your forehead. Oh, how you’ve missed this.

“I’ve missed you,” you say about halfway through the movie.

You receive a hum in response, making you look up into Junmyeon’s eyes since he is already staring at you with a small smile on his face. You lean up and press your lips against his to which he immediately responds. You climb on top of him, straddling his waist as things get more heated between the two of you. Eventually, both of your shirts come off and Junmyeon has you pinned on the couch, slowly spreading your legs so he can kiss up your thighs.

Outside, Jongin is filled with rage and jealousy. He should be the only one to get to touch you like that, not him. Half of him wants to burst through your window right now, kill Junmyeon and take you all for himself, but the other half knows that that would not be a smart idea. He needs to play his cards right, and soon he’ll be the one eating you out on your couch making you moan his name.

He watches silently as Junmyeon makes love to your beautiful body on your couch, feeling the anger build inside of him until red tints the corners of his vision. He needs to act soon, or else all of his progress will have been for nothing.

Jongin leaves shortly after watching the two of you lay curled up on the couch in each others arms. He feels sick to his stomach with jealousy. He knows that tomorrow, he’s going to have to do something about this.

Morning comes and you wake up to be greeted by your boyfriend making breakfast for the two of you. You smile and sit down at the counter as Junmyeon places the last bits of scrambled eggs onto your plates and sits down beside you. You lean your head against his shoulder as a peaceful smile spreads across your face.

“How are you feeling?” Junmyeon asks you.

“I’ve never been better,” you say, a bliss filled look on your features. “A little sore though.”

Junmyeon laughs. “Yeah, I guess I did go a little rough last night after a few rounds, I just haven’t seen you for a while and I guess I got carried away.”

“Oh trust me, I’m not complaining,” you smirk. “In fact, you should get carried away more often.”

At this, he blushes, nudging your shoulder with his as he tries to hide his growing smile behind a forkful of food.

Your morning is spent together, taking the time to catch up with each other and enjoy each other’s company. You get up to make some lunch for the two of you, until you realize that you literally have no food left to eat since you haven’t been grocery shopping in a while. You sigh as you close your fridge door.

“I’m just going to run out to grab some groceries, I’ll be back soon,” you say, grabbing your keys from off the counter.

“I’ll come with you,” Junmyeon offers, moving to stand up off of the couch.

“No, that’s okay,” you say, walking over and sitting him back down. “You just got back, it’s early in the day, you should rest. I’ll only be a few hours, don’t worry.”

“Okay, if you say so,” he replies. “Then I’m going to have a nap.”

“Okay,” you nod your head, putting on your shoes and heading out the front door with a final goodbye.

A few minutes later, Junmyeon hears the front door open again and doesn’t bother checking if it’s you. He figures you’ve probably just forgotten something like usual.

“What did you forget?” He teases, not bothering to open his eyes, but when he gets no response after a minute, he slowly gets up from the couch and looks around. “(Y/n)? This isn’t funny.”

Moving slowly through the apartment, Junmyeon makes his way to your room first. He opens the door to your room, peaking his head in but not seeing anything out of the ordinary. He could have sworn he heard you come back to the apartment. He figures that it’s probably just his imagination, and in his tired state he just thought he heard you come back to the apartment. Walking back into the living room, Junmyeon doesn’t even get five steps before he’s knocked unconscious.

“Should have listened to your gut, mate,” Jongin says, crouching over Junmyeon’s unconscious form.

A few minutes later, Junmyeon wakes up and feels a throbbing coming from his head. He goes to rub it, but finds he is unable to. He blinks away his blurry vision to find that he’s still in your apartment, only tied to one of your dining room chairs. He starts to struggle against his restraints, trying his best to free himself with little success. He hears a chuckle come from behind him until whoever it is that is standing behind him moves into his line of sight.

“Jongin?” He gasps, not sure if he’s seeing things right. “What’s going on? Where’s (Y/n)? Why am I tied to a chair? How did you get in? Wh-“

“Shut up!” Jongin cuts him off. “God, even your voice makes me sick.”

Junmyeon looks at him in confusion and slight fear. Jongin looks insane right now, a crazed, murderous look in his eyes, and a sinister grin tugging at his lips. He watches Jongin walk over to the kitchen counter where he notices that all of your knives have been laid out on display. Jongin picks one up, weighing it in his hand before deciding it’s good enough for him to use. Walking back towards him, Jongin crouches in front of Junmyeon, watching as the lights reflects off of the blade in his hand.

“And it’s Kai, by the way,” Jongin says, smirking at his next victim.

Junmyeon gasps. So he’s the serial killer that has been on the loose recently.

“Why are you doing this?” Junmyeon asks through clenched teeth, not believing what’s currently happening to him.

“Well, you see, you have something of mine, and I want it back,” Jongin says nonchalantly, starting to drag the tip of the blade down Junmyeon’s arm. “You’ve touched something of mine that doesn’t belong to you. Do you think you’re worthy of her? Worthy enough to worship her body the way she deserves? You don’t deserve her, you don’t deserve to get to be with her, she’s mine.”

Junmyeon’s eyes widen as he feels the first sting of the blade piercing his skin, watching as Kai drags the tip along his arm, creating a long, but not too deep, cut. He grits his teeth, doing his best to keep in the sounds of pain he so desperately wants to let out.

“What should I start with first?” Kai wonders aloud, stepping away from Junmyeon and tapping his chin as if he’s deep in thought. “I know, since you are so prone to touching my things, I think I’ll start with your hands. I would start with your tongue, but I wouldn’t want you to choke on your own blood now, would I?”

“You’ll never get away with this!” Junmyeon spits, curses spilling from his mouth to which Kai replies by tying a cloth around his mouth to get him to shut up.

Kai makes his way over to his bag which he brought with him and pulls out a lighter. Smirking to himself, he makes his way back over to Junmyeon, flicking the lighter on and off the whole time. Junmyeon’s eyes widen in fear as he can only imagine what Kai has in store for him for the next hour or so.

Meanwhile, a smile is present on your face the whole time you make your way to the grocery store. About two hours have passed since you left your apartment and now you are heading back with all your groceries. Luckily, you only have a few bags with you since you only got what you think you’d need since you’ll do the major shopping later on in the week.

The ride up the elevator seems to take forever. All you want to do is get back to your apartment and watch a movie with Junmyeon while curled up on the couch. You open your door, kick your shoes off and drop the grocery bags in the kitchen. You walk into your living room and your voice gets stuck in your throat. You feel your heart stop beating as you take in your surroundings.

Blood pools underneath Junmyeon’s unconscious body which is tied to one of your dining room chairs. At least you hope he’s unconscious. There are cuts and burns all over his arms and legs, but what’s worse are his hands. The tips have all been burned almost down to the bone, or at least they appear to be, and a few of his fingers are missing. His head hangs limply, blood escaping his mouth in a steady stream.

You unfreeze yourself and run over to his side, a small shriek of his name escaping your mouth.

“Junmyeon! Junmyeon? Oh my god, what happened?” You sob, tears leaking from your eyes.

You shakily reach your hand up, checking for a pulse everywhere you know of to see if he’s still alive. After three failed attempts of finding a pulse, the harsh reality of your situation slaps you in your face. You start to sob uncontrollably, doing your best to stand up and make your way over to the phone to call the police.

As you reach for your phone, dialling the emergency services, your eyes catch a glimpse at your wall, your mouth falling open in a silent scream as you read the message, written in Junmyeon’s blood, on your wall.

You’re next.

You don’t register the voice coming from the receiver of your phone signifying someone has answered your call. Instead, you feel a strong arm wrap around your waist from behind you and a hand place a cloth over your nose and mouth. You begin to struggle in the person’s grip, doing your best not to breath in whatever chemicals that have been put on the cloth. You manage to kick your assailant in the shin, causing his grip to falter, but before you can get free, their grip is back and even tighter than before. You feel yourself starting to lose consciousness, fighting to stay awake, but the effects of the drugs are too strong.

You wake up in an unfamiliar room with a headache. You try to move your arms but find that they are tied behind your back. You blink a few times to allow your vision to adjust to the light of the room. It looks like you’re in a basement cellar of some sort, but that’s not what catches your eyes.

Across from you, sitting in a chair mirroring yours, is Jongin. From the looks of it, he looks like he’s in the same position you’re in.

“Jongin? Hey, Jongin?” You call his name. “Wake up, Jongin!”

He groans and looks up, rolling his neck to the side a few times to ease the stiffness. He looks up at you, blinking a few times until a confused expression crosses his face.

“(Y/n)? What happened? Where are we?” He asks, looking around at your surroundings.

“I don’t know, I was hoping you’d be able to tell me,” you say, blinking your eyes again to try and relieve their stinging.

“All I remember is walking by your apartment and seeing you being dragged out by someone, so I followed them and now here we are,” he explains.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” you say, tears starting to fall from your eyes as Jongin looks at you in concern. “All I know is… all I know is that Junmyeon is, is dead.”

You look down at your lap, letting the tears fall freely. You shut your eyes tightly, willing for this all to be a bad dream. You flinch as you feel a thumb wipe away your tears. Opening your eyes, you see Jongin crouched in front of you with a sad look on his face.

“Jongin, how did you,” you choke on a sob. “How did you escape?”

“Oh, that, well, you see…” he trails off, avoiding your eyes until he brings his gaze back to yours, piercing your very being with how cold his eyes have become. “I was never really tied to the chair.”

“What? What do you mean? Jongin, you’re scaring me,” You say, leaning as far away from him as you can with you being bound to the chair.

“I wasn’t tied to the chair,” he states simply, standing in front of you. “Oh, and also, call me Kai.”

Your eyes widen in shock, causing him to smirk. “What?”

“I finally have you,” he coos, stroking your face fondly, making you flinch away from his touch. He scowls, but backs off nonetheless.

“You killed Junmyeon,” you state, glaring at him through your tears.

“He was in the way,” Kai states blankly, moving over to the side to grab a small blade.

“He was my boyfriend whom I love, you monster,” you spit, causing him to round on you with annoyance clear on his face.

“He was a nuisance. A nuisance that thought he could take you away from me. A nuisance that needed to learn not to touch what isn’t his,” he snaps, ominously walking towards you with the knife raised pointedly at you.

“I’m not yours! I never was, and I never will be,” you say, venom lacing every word.

You feel the sting on your cheek before you’ve even processed what’s happened. More tears escape your eyes as you turn your head to glare at Jongin who is standing in front of you.

“Don’t look at me like that, you did this to yourself. You and that beautiful smile of yours, your personality, and God, don’t even get me started on your body. What I wouldn’t do to you,” he trails off, eyes roaming every inch of your exposed skin, licking his lips in the process. “I was going to kill you, you know? You were going to be my fifth victim, but you had to go and make me fall for you, didn’t you? Now all I want to do is please you, make you feel good, but you’re making this so difficult.”

“You’re crazy,” you spit.

“Crazy for you,” he grins maniacally. “Now, if you don’t cooperate, I will keep killing every single person you hold dear to you, and if I have to, I’ll even kill you. There’s still a part of me that wants to see you wither in pain, to have you beg me to end your miserable life, and watch the light fade from behind those gorgeous eyes. I’ll do it, too, if you push me far enough. Now, are you going to be a good girl and cooperate with me?”

You nod your head, looking right into his eyes as you do so, making him smirk. He moves closer towards you with the knife still in his hand and you visibly tense up.

“Relax, I’m just going to cut your bonds so you don’t lose feelings your hands,” he says, reaching around to do just that, stopping just short of the rope. “But first…”

With that, he leans forwards and presses his lips to yours. You do your best to seal your lips, but with press of the blade to your arm, you force yourself to kiss him back. He sighs into the kiss, trying to deepen it, but at this, you bite his lip, hard, drawing blood.

He flinches back, landing on his ass on the floor. He brings his one hand up to his lip, noticing the blood on his fingers. He smirks at you, licking his lips as he sees the defiance in your eyes.

“I will never be yours, you monster!” You yell, struggling once again to escape your ropes.

His expression darkens, and he slowly walks over to your figure, thrashing wildly in your chair. You stop all your movements as his shadow covers your entire being.

“I guess I’ll just have to teach you then,” he sighs, as if he has no other choice.

He sits on your lap, straddling you as he uses the knife to cut the fabric covering your left shoulder. He drags the blade gently across your collarbone before digging the tip into your skin, writing something along your collarbone. You feel what can only be described as white hot pain searing your flesh as the knife digs deep enough to ensure a scar.

Once done, Jongin leans back to admire his handiwork. His initials stare back at him, etched forever into your skin, bleeding red with your blood.

#part of the exo monster series #yandere #yandere au #yandere kpop #yandere exo #yandere jongin #yandere kai #Kim Jongin #kai scenario #jongin scenario #exo #exo scenarios #exo au #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario

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chocobabyporcelain · 6 years

Note

Could you please write a fic, where Gladio offers his best friend, in which he has been in love for a long time, to become his girlfriend? (It's mutual, but they both do not know about it). Part with NSFW on your own.

Just so you know, the friends-to-lovers trope gives me life! I should apologise, though, I was halfway through writing this at the start of my time away, so I guess you’ve been waiting a while… Sorry.

Also, I ended up not going down the NSFW route with this one. I seem to have some kind of mental block with it comes to actually writing NSFW.

Tagging: @nemo-ne-impune-lacessit @itsmootothecow @insomniasix @mp938368 @insomniacapples @itshaejinju @expectogladiolus @bluechocobo @airlea-sicarius @diadyn @birdsandivory @alicemoonwonderland @mandakatt @zacklover24 @eternallydaydreaming2015 @1000wolflover @stopmopingstarthoping @dreamiggy @grumpyoldmoogle @unerring-connoisseur(If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, let me know asap)

It wasn’t thephone ringing that woke Gladio. Nor was it the blinding light of hisscreen displaying caller ID. Gladio wasn’t sure what woke him, buthe was certain he was awake before his phone started playing BonJovi.

Without looking,he reached across his bedside table and grabbed it, sliding to answerand pressing it against his ear. “Y/N,” he grumbled. “are youfucking kidding me?”

“Movies24 isshowing Breakfast Club in, like, ten minutes,” you replied, noteven acknowledging his clear irritation. “You can get here thatsoon, right?”

Gladio grunted,running a hand through his hair. Of course he could get there thatsoon, its not like you lived miles away. “Y/N, it is,” he pulledhis phone away from his ear to squint against the harsh light andread the time, “almost 3 AM. Again, are you kidding?” He knew youweren’t. This was far from the first time you’d called him atsome ridiculous hour asking him to come over for a random reason.

On the other endof the line, you scoffed. “We nevermiss Breakfast Club, Gladiolus. It’s our thing!”

“Don’t you have the Blu Ray?”

“Notthe point!” you saidthrough a mouthful of what Gladio assumed was popcorn,“It’s playing onTV, are you gonna come watchit with me or not?”

It was pointless arguing with you, and Gladio knew that. Which iswhy, twelve minutes later, he was letting himself into your apartmentwith his key, a convenience store bag hanging off his wrist.

He found you in your room, sat up against your headboard, bed mostlycovered in snacks. The television in your bedroom was tuned toMovies24, the opening monologue of Breakfast Club already starting toplay. You had your hair tied up in a loose bun on the top of yourhead, wearing some lounge shorts and a ratty old hoodie that Gladiowas certain used to be his.

“You’re late, asshole,” was the first thing you said as yourbest friend entered your room.

Gladio shook the bag off his wrist and emptied it onto the bed. Twobags of sweet popcorn and multiple bars of chocolate fell on top ofyour snack pile. “Yeah, but I thought my contribution to your sugarfix would grant me pardon.” He moved some empty crisp packets andchocolate wrappers out of his way, before settling himselfcomfortably beside you on the bed.

You felt his eyes on you as you sifted through his additions to yoursugary feast. “What?” you grumbled.

“You’ve got caramel on your chin.”

Gladio had been one of your closest friends for… Gods only knew howlong. You still had very fond memories of the time you ‘defeatedthe point of prom’ by going together instead of getting dates.You’d lost count of the amount of time he’s pretended to be yourboyfriend so some creep would leave you alone, and although you oftenjoked about how he was literally the worst person you know, youhonestly weren’t sure what you’d do without him.

People frequently mistook you for a couple, and your mother wasreally starting to annoy you, always asking when you weregoing to ‘make it official.’ She seemed to think you hadone of those ridiculous sit-com deals where if you weren’t bothmarried by the time you were thirty, you’d just marry each other.

Which is what lead to the conversation you were currently having.

“It’s just a generally bad idea.” You were lounging, upsidedown on Gladio’s couch, flicking through the channels and snackingon a Nutrigrain bar. You’d usually only eat the strawberry ones,but Gladio only had the apple ones, and they were kind of rank, butyou’d opened it now so you were gonna finish it.

“How so?” asked Gladio. You weren’t convinced he was reallypaying attention to you, he had his nose buried in a new book, whichis how you had free rein over his television.

You shrugged, knowing the action was useless since he obviouslywasn’t looking at you. “Well, think about it,” you tossed theremote onto the coffee table. “If we got married just because wewere both single when we hit thirty and then I met my ideal guy a fewmonths later, don’t you think I’d just end up resenting you?”You’d given this scenario a great deal of thought after watching anold romcom that was playing on late night TV.

Gladio hummed. “We’d just get a divorce, right?”

“But then you’d resent me for leaving you.”

Marking his page, Gladio put down the book, turning towards you.“Will you sit properly?” he grumbled when he came face to, well,knee with you. “And anyway, I think if that happened, I’d just behappy that you were happy.”

You threw your legs over his lap, pulling your upper body to restagainst the arm of the couch. “Quit being cute,” you snorted,stretching your arms above your head, “it doesn’t suit you.”

Gladio shoved your legs off his. “Why’re you talking about thisanyway? Did something happen with Adrian?” he asked.

Ah, Adrian. Your ex-boyfriend, as of about two hours ago.

“You could say that,” you muttered. What had happened, was youhad found out you were actually one of three women Adrian was in a‘serious and committed’ relationship with. You decided tokeep that part to yourself (Though, you had notified his othergirlfriends). “He’d never seen The Wall, and when I tried showinghim, he just kept talking over it, y’know? And I’m just thinking,‘do I really wanna spend the rest of my life with some dick whothinks he’s more important than Pink Floyd?’”

With a loud guffaw, Gladio petted your head. “Good to see you gotyour priorities in order.”

You chuckled along, running a hand through your hair as you moved tosit against the back of the couch. “What about you, anyway? How’dit go with that girl? I never asked,” you said, quickly turning theconversation away from Adrian.

“You mean Lucille?” Gladio groaned tipping his head back. “Neveragain.” He brought a hand up to his face and covered his eyes, asif the thought of his recent date was giving him a headache.

You felt a little ashamed of the fact that you were glad to hearthat. “How come? She was pretty.” And she was. She had an almostmovie-star beauty, but you could tell she was painfully shallow bythe way she looked down her nose at you when you met.

Gladio hummed, shrugging one shoulder. “Yeah, she was kindapretty,” he said in a disinterested tone, “but she was soshady. She was talking shit all night. And besides,” he threw andarm around your shoulders, “no one calls my Y/N a messy slobexcept me.”

“She didn’t!”

“She did.”

Okay, maybe you weren’t exactly looking your best when you’d metLucille, but really? Maybe if she’d been up all night playing videogames, she’d look like shit, too! You huffed, scrunching your nose.“Is that bitch looking to lose her teeth?” you growled.

Gladio laughed, rubbing your upper arm. “Sounds like it to me.”

Pouting, you rested your head against Gladio’s arm as he rested hishead on yours, both of you watching the soap opera playing on the TV,but not really paying attention to it. His hand moved from yourshoulder to idly twirl the ends of your hair between his fingers, thealmost subconscious act of affection bringing a smile to your face.You’d thought it before, after almost every break up you’d evergone through, but you didn’t need a boyfriend. Not when you hadGladio.

Come to think of it, he was the reason for most of your break ups.Silly boys who couldn’t handle how affectionate you were with yourbest friend. You wondered if they’d have the same problem if yourbest friend had been female.

Then you wondered how many of Gladio’s break ups had been becauseof his jealous girlfriends not liking your closeness. Was it yourfault Gladio was still single?

Gladio let out a deep sigh, wrapping his free arm around you. “Maybewe should date,” he mused.

You snorted a chuckle. “Stop playing and make me some tea.” Youpushed his arm from your middle and wriggled free. You moved yourselfup onto the arm of the couch, shaking your head at his daft comment.It was far too late in the game to catch feelings.

Or acknowledge them.

It seemed Gladio couldn’t figure out quite where to look. At you?At the floor? He leaned forward, clasping his hands together betweenhis knees. “No,” his tone was sincere. “I mean it.”

You sighed, choosing to flippantly inspect your nails rather thanfacing this with any seriousness. “Honey, no. I’m a nightmaregirlfriend, you have no idea what you’d be putting up with,”you replied.

“Are you fucking serious?”

You tensed. You’d always hated when Gladio used that tone, but thiswas the first time it was ever directed at you. And that was so muchworse.

He grabbed you by the shoulders, a little rougher than what would becomfortable, and forced you to meet his gaze. He was upset. Not angryand not entirely sad either, just upset, almost disappointed. “Youthink I don’t know you?”

Hurt. Youcouldn’t put a name to that emotion before, but when you heard hisvoice, the way it wavered ever so slightly, it finally registered. Hewas hurt.

“Youtell everyone your favourite movie is Breakfast Club, but I know fora fact it’s The Little Mermaid.” Gladio’s grip on yourshoulders tightened as he spoke. “Red wine makes you wretch, butyou still drink it around your friends because you don’t want to bethe only one drinking Rosé. You’ve been playing Ocarina of Timefor fourteen years and I stillhave to playthe Shadow Temple for youbecause you can’t get passed it onyour own. You have adifferent scented candle in every room in your apartment, and I canname most of them. You drink apple & elderflower tea when youread and honey & camomile when you’re going to bed. Speaking ofwhich, you can’t sleep unless all the doors and curtains in yourapartment are closed.” He sighed, resting his forehead againstyours as he ended his infodump. “We grew up together, Y/N. You’vebeen my best friend since we were five years old. Don’t you daretry telling me I don’t know you!”

Ofcourse he knew you. You knew that. And now, you also knew that hewasn’t going to drop this because of you listing off your badhabits. He’d had years of dealing with you, he knew what he wasgetting into.

Withanother sigh breaking the stretch of silence, Gladio let yourshoulders go. “I guess I’m just… trying to tell you that I loveyou,” he said, softly. “I get it if you don’t feel the sameway. Just say so.”

Butyou did. You had to wonder why you were trying to discourage him. Youwere scared, honestly. Your friendship with Gladio was more preciousto you than anything, and you didn’t want to jeopardise that.

“Youknow I love you,” you replied. “But you’re my best friend, andif we cross this line we can’t go back. It’ll never be like it isnow.”

Ofcourse, you realised, you could never go back anyway. After you’veboth confessed to having feelings for each other, it was always goingto be awkward. Maybe, with time, it would fade and you’d only feelthe occasional twinge of awkwardness, but things would never be thesame.

Youmoved back onto the couch’s seat, once again resting your headagainst Gladio’s arm. “It would be so worth it if we couldmake this work,” you whispered.

“Wecan,”Gladio insisted, wrapping his arms around you. “I can’t promisethat we’re gonna spend the rest of or lives together, but I canpromise that I’m gonna be here for as long as you want me.” Hemoved one hand under your backside and pulled you into his lap, anintimate position that you were semi-familiar with. With one handfinding it’s way into your hair and the other moving from yourbottom to the small of your back, Gladio eased you forwards, holdingyou against his chest ashe gently kissed your forehead. “Youcan’t be in your head about this, Y/N. You see it as you want tosee it, in the simplest terms and most convenient definitions.”

Youlaughed. You couldn’t help it, the laughter bubbling in your throatas you pushed yourself away. “You can’t misquote Breakfast Cluband expect me to date you, asshole,” you said through your giggles.

Gladiopressed your foreheads together with a chuckle of his own. “Not amisquote, just bent it to suit the situation.” Hewrapped his arms around your waist. “I really do love you, Y/N.”

Yousmiled. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give this a try. “I loveyou, too,” you whispered, before leaning in and pressing your lipsto Gladio’s. “We can make this work.”

#FFXV #FF15 #Final Fantasy XV #Final Fantasy 15 #Gladio #Gladiolus #Gladiolus Amicitia #Gladio x Reader #Gladiolus x Reader #FFXV Requests #Anonymous #my writing

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