Okay

So I don’t really know many Zines, but someone retweeted a Doctor Who Zine and I’ve now never wanted to own a Zine more!!!!

That’s the cover!! IT’S THE NELVANA DOCTOR!!!!!

They say it’s going to come out early 2023 and you bet I’m going to be buying a copy!!

Survey #368

“whatever doesn’t kill you, is gonna leave a scar”

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? My favorite shirt is the Day of the Dead design by Cloak, which is Markiplier's and jacksepticeye's clothing brand. Mom's friend/former co-worker also got me a Ninja Sex Party shirt because she knew I liked them. There are SO MANY YouTubers I wanna support by buying shirts. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Milk, 110%. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Morning. Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yes. Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? If it didn't mean being so very far from my family, I would love to move to Canada. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I legit don't know who's considered currently popular, and I especially don't know who they are as people. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Something relating to animals, and I think they're both equally important. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I like a mix. Something chill, but you still do some stuff as a family. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes. Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Someone has mistaken me for a model in a picture I once took. It was one of the most flattering things I've ever heard, haha. Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? Yes. Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No. Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I have 100% been dumped in a very cowardly and disrespectful way; after dating Jason for nearly four years and being very serious, he broke up with me very abruptly over Facebook Messenger. His reason was valid, but at the same time, he NEVER talked to me about it. Apparently my depression was dragging him down. If he'd fucking communicated it, I would have explored new treatment options so goddamn fast. But no, he decided to snap his fingers and disappear. That's exactly WHY it was so traumatic, I think: it was so unexpected and sudden. Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Animal enthusiasts like Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin for sure. Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? God no. I'm just... not someone to aspire to be like. What was the last thing you found offensive? I'm not sure. Who is the nicest person you know? My mom. Do you feel safe in your country? I feel safe in NC, rather. Like I don't expect an atom bomb or terrorist attack or something in this obscure area. In the U.S.A. itself, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. America is definitely not loved by every other country. Do you feel safe where you live? Not in this city, no. Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Yup. Did y'all know I apparently have ADHD? I know, shocking. Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): The first Silent Hill, probably. It took a lot of reading to get it. Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? No. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Does Stitch count? Or a Pokemon. Do you like marshmallows? Yes. What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I really like the Jolly Rancher candy canes, I think they are? Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? Not as hot, but not cold except on very extreme occasions. When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Two. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I'm thankful that my parents were pretty open-minded to what pets I really wanted, but one I was never allowed to have was a ferret because of how messy and smelly they are. List three people you’ve had crushes on: Jason, Sara, and Sebastian were probably my biggest crushes. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, but god have I felt close. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Jason, Colleen, and my dad. Who is the most spiritual person you know? Probably my sister's mother-in-law. Would you ever start a vlog? God no, I'd bore people to tears. Are your dreams coming true yet? I mean, I guess in some ways with my mental health. In my deepest depression, what I have now was a dream, even though current me is very discontent with it. Most of my dreams, though? No. Do you struggle with depression? I've been diagnosed with severe depression since 7th grade. Are you haunted by your past? A few things won't leave me alone. What medical conditions do you have? Just a lot. There are even more that are up for debate. I've talked about my diagnosed conditions enough. Do you use a Magic Bullet? No. What does your apron look like? I don’t have one. What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot Cheetos, Takis, hot wings, jalapeno pizza... Man, I love spicy food. Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Being a kid. Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I had very mixed feelings. Did you feel insecure in high school? Shit, I still do. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What the FUCK is this question? No fucking shit I would be. Someone being suicidal in no way affects who they are as a person. Who was the biggest bully in high school? I don't think there really was one. What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? If I wanted kids, a daughter. Have you ever written to an advice columnist? No. Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? Maybe? I did however have an employee at the ER the first time I went try to pry out of me that my self-mutilation was for attention, and it wasn't until I insisted about a dozen times that it wasn't that he believed me. It's odd looking back that I got REALLY attached to him during that stay, knowing now that it was absolutely horrible and extremely unhelpful for him to do that. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would absolutely refuse to have a male one. Do you like Lisa Frank? Yeah, like can you talk about aesthetic. What gives you nightmares? Boy, I wish I could tell you, given how much I have them. Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No. Did you get senior pictures taken? No. What color is your bicycle? I don’t have one. Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No, thank fuck. Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'd rather wear black. I think red will be the bridesmaids' color. Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? I want a swimming pool so damn badly so I could exercise my legs without worrying about sweating, and I can stop and rest whenever I want, unlike going walking or something. I don't think my knees could handle a trampoline. Do you think babies are cute? Some, sure. But a lot, not really. Do you dream about the future a lot? Yeah. Do you think about your past a lot? Way too frequently. How good are you at living in the moment? I'm trying to get better at it. Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yeah. Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate. What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? I've actually been exploring Italian pasta lately. I'm not a big fan of foreign food that I've tried, though. Have you ever moved to another state? No. Did you do anything productive today? No. .-. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No, actually. Do you like flowers? Of course; does anyone not? Have you ever thought you were gonna die? I didn't care if I did or didn't. What kind of mood are you in today? I was honestly really depressed through most of it. Just health stuff was really getting to me. I just woke up from what was honestly like a four-hour nap and I feel all right, I guess. What are you craving right now? I REALLY want Domino's jalapeno pizza. Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No. What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Definitely emotional. Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? When Dad still lived with us, I think he might have been watching... you know... on TV when I came into my parents' room for something. Idk for sure though. I didn't ask, and I don't want to know. If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Oh god, idk. I don't want to make any. What I'd have most fun with would be reptile education, but I 1.) have literally one snake, 2.) am not extremely educated on a good number of them and don't want to be misleading, and 3.) I would run outta content fast. So, leave it to Snake Discovery, haha. Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Yes, it's okay????? If you're talking about me personally though, you won't see me dead in a bathing suit picture. Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? No, I gasp and see if they're okay. What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Paranormal Entity. The ending is... a lot. Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? I like a couple of her songs. If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? "Thank you for absolutely everything."

1198

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch?  No. Most of the merch that had been put out when I was still into YouTubers were always underwhelming and overpriced, anyway.

Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk?  Eugh, I don’t like oatmeal. Ate it everyday for breakfast as a kid and I just want nothing to do with anymore.

Have you ever left a note in a library book?  No. I’m pretty sure that counted as vandalism or at least under some kind of violation, so I never did anything to my borrowed books beyond reading them.

What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair?  There’s no time of day for me; I just wash it whenever I feel like showering.

Has anyone ever spread lies about you?  Just a couple times when I was in like middle school but it was all very superficial stuff that I never think about.

Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it?  Nah. I freak out about the idea of meeting celebrities and always turn down or pass up any opportunity I get lmao. I don’t handle nervousness well so I don’t trust myself to be able to behave or speak properly.

If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go?  Yeah, anything to get out of this shithole. I’d love to move to Canada.

Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them?  Taylor Swift. Her music’s just never fallen under my personal preferences, but I don’t actively hate on her or bash her when there’s been no reason to.

If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important?  I don’t think acts of charity should be compared. Personally though, I tend to lean towards causes for animals.

Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? My family alwaysssssss makes sure our itineraries are absolutely packed when we go on vacations. Seems like a waste of money to travel to a new place just to stay holed up in our hotel room.

Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?  No, I don’t believe in those to begin with.

Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Yeah, usually because of my build. I hate posing and being in front of a camera, though.

Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts?  I don’t use skincare products, though I should probably start because my skin is finally biting me in the ass and giving me breakouts 23 years later lol.

Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? Nope.

Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..)  I wouldn’t say it was over something pathetic. She had her reasons and I respect that. Doesn’t mean I can’t resent her.

Did you have a lot of role models as a kid?  Not really.

Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? I don’t know, but this isn’t a compliment I get a lot either. I don’t actively try to be a role model, so I don’t care about maintaining such an image.

What was the last thing you found offensive? My mom often throws around subtle homophobic remarks in passing. She knows I hate them because I shoot her a glare every time she does it, but for some reason she never learns...

Who is the nicest person you know?  Angela.

Do you feel safe in your country?  In a country where the president is a blatant liar, misogynist, has anger and cursing issues, and enables extrajudicial killings? Safety is a dream here.

Do you feel safe where you live?  Very technically speaking, yeah I do since it’s a gated village so nothing ever happens here.

Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor?  Not necessarily misdiagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I was prescribed the wrong set of medicines for my UTI last year...nothing came out of taking those pills and I felt just as sick (and dead) as I was after a couple of days. The only reason I got better was Angels’s mom is a doctor and gave me the right meds to take, which worked on me within a couple of hours.

Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you?  No.

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): WarioWare is suuuuuuuch a weird game haha. Doesn’t stop me from enjoying it, though.

Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before?  Not that I know of.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Gary from Spongebob.

Do you like marshmallows?  Haaaaaaaate them. I never got used to its weird, sticky texture so I always take them out when they’re included in like drinks and desserts.

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane?  I don’t consume candy canes much. Too sweet.

Have you ever fostered an animal?  Nope.

Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out?  No, I want the water to be as cold as possible.

When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two?  I do two, though I rarely have any reason to write down the dollar sign in general.

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have?  We weren’t allowed to have dogs as kids because we “wouldn’t be able to take care of them” – which they were right about, anyway. But we have two now, so it all worked out in the end.

List three people you’ve had crushes on:  Gabie, Andi...and that’s it, really.

Have you ever thrown up from cramps?  No. Fortunately my period cramps have never been that bad, and the only time they can be a headache is if they’re the leg crampjp that sends me waking up in the middle of the night.

List three people you had a hard time forgiving.  I don’t really forgive. If someone fucks up badly enough that I feel the need to cut them off, that’s pretty much it for me.

Who is the most spiritual person you know?  I don’t know.

Would you ever start a vlog?  Sure. I’ve always wanted to try it, but I don’t have a decent vlogging camera and am not invested enough in the venture to spend on one. In general I’m also not comfortable being in front of the camera, as I’ve already shared several times here. Vlogging does look fun though, and I definitely would’ve already given it a shot if only I felt more comfortable.

Are your dreams coming true yet?  Some of the short-term ones, sure.

Do you struggle with depression?  I go through phases of it, but I’ve never been formally diagnosed just because I’ve never booked a trip to the psychiatrist.

Are you haunted by your past?  No

What medical conditions do you have?  Do scoliosis and lactose intolerance count? Those are the main issues I have.

Do you use a Magic Bullet?  Why did I think this was a vibrator...? Anyway, I looked it up and no, I’ve never used one.

What does your apron look like?  I’ve never had to use one regularly.

What are your favorite spicy foods?  Curry, tteokbokki, ramen, samgyeopsal with ssamjang, spicy fried chicken.

Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid?  Being an adult has a lot more freedom to it even though I have to go through heavier and deeper shit, so it’s still more worth it to me.

Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday?  I was heavily depressed back then, and was for a while, so I didn’t have any feelings about turning 13. I don’t even remember my birthdays up until the 15th.

Did you feel insecure in high school?  In the first half, yeah. But I started opening up more and gaining friends by junior year, so at that point I wasn’t feeling too shy anymore.

Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal?  I hate this question that I am simply ignoring it.

Who was the biggest bully in high school?  My school didn’t tolerate bullies so no one ever dared to be one, in the grand scheme of things. But back in kindergarten Kaira used to love targeting me - she was my big bully before she became my friend, lol.

What was your favorite class in high school? History, of course. I personally didn’t like literature but I enjoyed English classes, just because it was easy and was a guaranteed A+ in my report card.

Would you rather have a daughter or a son?  Daughter. 

Have you ever written to an advice columnist? Nope.

Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him?  Not really, but I’ve had a doctor be a total asshole towards me before.

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist?  No.

Do you like Lisa Frank?  No.

What gives you nightmares?  I don’t really get nightmares.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child?  Nope. I was hospitalized one time, and I had been 11 then.

Did you get senior pictures taken?  Yeah, for both high school and college.

What color is your bicycle? The family bike is blue and silver. Not that I could ride it, lol.

Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class?  No...is that a practice in other schools? That’s so weird if it was.

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear?  White. Ivory can be for the bridesmaids, actually.

Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline?  Swimming pool. Trampolines are neat, but I would get bored of them so quickly.

Do you think babies are cute? For the most part yes, the only exception being if I have to be exposed with a baby/toddler that is prone to screech-crying. My patience is an extremely thin line when it comes to children like that lol and I FEEL BAD for feeling like so... but I just can’t deal with harsh sounds like that one.

Do you dream about the future a lot?  I guess I daydream sometimes but it’s nothing obsessive.

Do you think about your past a lot?  I’ll daydream or feel resentful sometimes, depending on what or who I’m thinking about lol. But I don’t stay in the past for too long.

How good are you at living in the moment?  I’m a lot better at it. It’s nice to be in the now.

Have you ever questioned God’s existence?  I did starting when I was 10, and I also disowned my religion by that time.

Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate foreverrrrr.

What’s your favorite foreign cuisine?  It’s always a three-way tie among Indian, Malaysian, and Thai.

Have you ever moved to another state?  No. We don’t even live in states.

Did you do anything productive today?  Well I had work today, so yeah I’d say I was. I had two meetings and worked on a bunch of spreadsheets and decks, so it was a pretty productive day.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?  Nope.

Do you like flowers?  Sure, but I’m not obsessed. It always feels nice to receive them, though.

Have you ever thought you were gonna die?  Every single time I get catcalled by men I always have the fear that they’d go all the way and drag me away to my death. That’s why I’m usually in shock whenever it happens and I’m never able to retort.

What kind of mood are you in today?  Super relieved because it’s Friday. A bit guilty because I had Starbucks delivered when I had already spent a lot this week, but I keep telling myself I deserve it after working all week haha. I just wanna enjoy my coffee and salmon dill sandwich in peace lmaooooo

What are you craving right now?  This salmon sandwich I ordered, so I’m hella glad I got it.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?  Maybe shove, but not punch.

What is worse, physical or emotional pain?  Physical. My pain tolerance is extremely low, lol.

Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? I don’t think I have.

If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of?  I think just doing the trendy games like the Lie Detector game would be fun haha. I wouldn’t take it too seriously.

Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? ...It’s 2021.

Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down?  If it’s a close friend or a relative I’m close with, yeah. Anyone else I would immediately try to help.

What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched?  Eraserhead or Under the Skin, which I didn’t even bother finishing.

Your opinion of Katy Perry, please?  I like her older songs.

If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be?  Stop acting like a brat when you don’t get your way. You’re literally reaching 50.

The White Wolf’s Dance; Chapter 2

Request; Still none but I needed a little action and angst. Hope you guys enjoy.

Words;2,753

Warnings; Minor Character deaths, Family deaths, Blood and Gore. Trying to save a life. Reader passed out from wounds after a fight. 

Pairing; Defintley more Geralt x Reader ish. IF you squint. 

Note; So I dunno where I really went with this chapter. Just wanted to give some background info on reader mainly. And show how freaking powerful she is and how much Geralt lowkey cares about her already. Maybe one day Geralt will train her to become even better? Idk. 

——————————————————————————————————

{I don’t own any gifs or witcher content!}

Tag List;

@yuminyg​ @andyl394​

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                *Chapter 2; The Girl Behind the Mask*

Geralt and Jaskier stood away a bit from you, Jaskier just staring at you the whole time. “She’s a bit peculiar isn’t she?” Jaskier whispered to Geralt as he watched the girl. “Maybe I can get her in a talking mood. It seems she knows loads about us and we know nothing of her.” Before Geralt can say a word Jaskier walks over and pulls a log up to sit by the fire as well.

“Y/N,” He hums softly setting his lute down beside him “That’s your name right?” Jaskier offers a smile to you but you don’t open your eyes. Just giving him a slight nod which he would have missed if he wasn’t staring at you.

“Why’d you try to go after the harpy yourself? Surely you could have just put out a contract on it like anyone else?” He watches you before his attention goes to the fire. You peek an eye open to look at him before a soft smile tugs at your lips.

“I’ve killed many a monster before. Didn’t think one with wings would be too different. That’s where I was wrong. Unlike your friend,” You glance over to where Geralt is pulling up a log to sit at the fire as well. “I haven’t had years of training or been enhanced in any way. I just try my best and out of sear will I make it.” You look across the fire and catch his amber eyes looking back at you for a second before you sigh loudly. “Well, I’m sure you have more questions. Let me hear them. I’ll answer all I see fit.”

“Why’d you start killing monsters?” Geralt’s rough voice shocked you for a second, you didn’t expect a word out of him. His tone didn’t seem truly interested in the answer just trying to make conversation.

“Well the basic sob story, my village was attacked, my people killed. My father went off to fight and never returned. I was the oldest so someone had to take care of the family. Mom couldn’t do it all alone. Soon I was hunting, small animals. But one day something attacked my little sister. Tore her leg clear off, I picked up my first sword that day and I did what I had to, to save my sister. Just luck has it be, life wasn’t easy. Ma got sick, sister healed but couldn’t walk. My brother and I had to provide. I took to towns betting mostly, I’m pretty good at Gwent if I say so. Come across a bit of oren. My brother was the monster hunter. They attacked our village often because of the smell of death each grave gave off. Once ma died I decided I would protect everything I knew too.” You shrug and glance up at the small patch of sky through the tree line.

“And your sister? Where is she now?” Jaskier asked leaning in for the story. He was very interested in the new travel companion, Geralt was never this talkative.

“Dead.” You speak softly, before throwing more sticks on the fire. “Brother was all I had left after she passed last winter. Part of me hoping he’s still alive somehow. Though I know he isn’t.” You stretch over your head before letting out a yawn. You had all but blocked out emotions from your family matters. It had been a while and you were better off on your own anyway. No one to care about or miss.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier whispered before putting a hand on your shoulder. You stare at it for a moment before shrugging it off. He didn’t take it the wrong way, moving his hand back to his lap.

“It’s fine. All the more reason to kill the creatures.” You hum, you had been numb for a while to all this. Not like they would understand anyway. Not like they knew what you really were. Most of the story had been true, though the monsters at first. They weren’t beasts like the one you hunt now. They were humans, mostly men. See what your hired monster killers didn’t know is that you were an elf. You hid it will. Passing off as a sorceress explained your magick and a simple concealing spell hid your ears. Soon you could go back to your home and live out the rest of your days avoiding humans. Just had to stop that harpy first.

“Where’d you learn magick?” Jaskier asked then followed up with “And why’d you use it on me in the first place?“ He wasn’t used to having magic used on him. Geralt knew some but never once used it on him. Yennefer had to heal him but that was a whole didn’t story.

You chuckled at first before looking over at him. “The brotherhood,” You lied easily before smirking. “You weren’t my first choice. I was looking for The Witcher. Though he was suspicious of me, weren’t you?” Your eyes turn to Geralt as you offer a charming smile.

“No normal lady buys free drinks for strangers, especially without speaking first.” His rough voice was almost like music to your ears however you didn’t let it phase you. Sure he was big and handsome. But Witchers have no feelings, they only care about money.

“Well If you hadn’t left the party so soon I would have gladly explained my job to both of you. But Jaskier had other intentions didn’t you?” You smirk looking over the bard before winking.

“Hey! You came on to me! She came on to me Geralt!” Jaskier tries to explain looking to his friend. Although he did play a part in everything. She had made the first move.

“Hmm,” Geralt grunts with an eye roll.

You chuckle softly before smirking. “Relax. I just wanted to make sure you got some needed sleep before this journey. Though looking back. You’re not much of a monster hunter are you?”

“Uh..no.” Jaskier looked away before faking a yawn. “I’m going to bed have fun you two.” And with that, he was heading a bit away from the fire to sleep.

Not much was said for a while. Just glances at each other before he spoke. “Just don’t get killed. I want to get paid.” The Witcher grumbled.

“That’s the plan. You don’t get killed either. Don’t wanna be known as the one who got a Witcher killed.” You glance at him through the flame as it flickered quickly before you looked away. Okay, maybe the Witcher was pretty hot but still. You needed to get a grip. Not like the two of you would ride off into the sunset on his horse. Your dream of finding someone died with most of your people.

“Don’t worry.” He stood up before looking down at you and at this moment you felt incredibly small. “Get some rest. I’ll take the first watch. I know that’s on your mind.”

You don’t say a word as you stand up and look at him in a different light. Before nodding and then glancing at where Jaskier was laying down. “But I’m not sleeping with him.” You smirk before heading to a nearby tree and leaning against it. Suddenly your eyes feel heavy and you’re quickly drifting off into sleep.

Geralt keeps watching overnight. Though he is mostly watching you. The way your flowing H/C locks frame your face. The soft steady beat of your heart. And your willingness to run off and try and slay this monster yourself. For a human you had guts and he couldn’t wait to see you with a sword.

He already thought he was going soft because of Jaskier. Now another human he could grow to care about? What was all this becoming? He did his best not to think of it as he watched the fire dance in the night. A few hours later you woke up and noticed Geralt was gone. You feared he had runoff. You quickly checked your pockets but nothing had been stolen and as you focused your gaze pass the fire you saw Jaskier still laying on the ground sound asleep.

Suddenly a hand on your shoulder made you jump. Quickly another flew to your mouth before your eyes met familiar Amber ones. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” But the smirk on his face said otherwise.

You pulled his hand from your mouth and rolled your eyes. “a simple hello wouldn’t have done that.” You lean back against the tree noticing the softness of the black night sky. “Sun’s rising soon. We best be on the way. Not much further.” You stood up and brushed yourself off.

“Jaskier will wait here with Roach. We will continue on our own.” He spoke before going to wake his friend and tell him.

As soon as you two were getting ready to leave you walked over to Jaskier and placed a hand on his forehead. “Beri- na- os- cin.” You whisper as a soft blue light admits from your hand.

“Geralt…?” Jaskier whispers looking to his friend who didn’t seem alarmed.

“Relax. It’s a spell to hide you and protect you from everything else in this forest. Do not worry though. I’d bet my life on that spell. And have many times.” You pat his cheek roughly before strapping your sword to your hip and bow to your back.

“Stay here Jaskier. And don’t make too much noise. We will be back come nightfall.” Geralt’s rough time warned him before starting up the rocky trail to the mountain top.

You followed behind not saying a word. Just fiddling with the handle on your sword.

“Hope you got silver.” His voice was softer and surprised you.

“Yeah. Forged from my mas old jewelry. Made her myself.” You pat your sword on your hip smiling slightly. You were quite proud of that. But soon nothing stood between you and the top of the mountain but an area of trees.

“Hell, we go. Right past these trees. She’ll be there hopefully asleep.” You whisper as you draw your bow ready for anything. Geralt draws his sword and you both creep out of the trees and up the small trail to the nest. Only when on top do you both realize the mistake you made.

Not only was there the harpy sound asleep but two more. Three in total and they were twice the size of you both. This was going to be a lot harder than you thought. Geralt glances to you before motioning you to creep to one side as he did to the other. Taking out two while they slept making the third easy.

Though what you didn’t expect was a soft wheezing sound from the far side of the Harpy’s nest. And a weak “help.” You crept along to see who or what was making noise and upon laying eyes on your brother he screamed for your help. The Harpy’s shot up just as Gerald was slashing at one of them.

You notched your arrow and fired but the harpy moved out-of-the-way just in time. Soon the two of you were standing in their nest back to back as they circled you. “well this wasn’t planned.” Geralt spoke to you and you nodded. You had to stay focused.

Geralt was soon caught in a slashing fight with a harpy before you could respond. You notched arrow after arrow firing at the two that still flew around you two. That was until your brother cried out as one of the Harpy’s was trying to pick him up in her claws.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU BITCH,” Yout shouted sword now drawn as you ran towards it. Swinging your blade at it with pose and slicing off one of its wings. It recoiled in pain and shrieked at you.

While being distracted the other swooped in and gashed your arm and thigh with its huge claws. You cried out in pain and dropped your sword. Geralt had managed to kick back the harpy before running over to you. “Get out of here kid. I got this.” He growled before knocking the already wounded Harpy’s head off.

“No!” You shouted picking up your sword in your other hand and standing with your back to your bother. “COME AT ME, YOU SORRY BITCHES.” You cried out sword pointed to the sky. Another harpy swooped and you swung at it missing. Tears covered your cheeks as your brother screamed for you to leave him.

Geralt managed to fight one-off giving it a gash on its foot before backing up towards you. “Kid leave now. I don’t get paid if you die, remember?” He yelled at you his amber eyes were something furious now.

You shook your head no and swung your sword again but the Harpy’s claws hit your shoulder with another gash. You cried out in pain and dropped to your knees.

Geralt turned towards you and got surprise-attacked by the one he had wounded. Pinned to the ground as the harpy tried to sink her claws into him. The other heading for your brother again. This was it. Your last few seconds and you had to make it count.

You dropped your sword, “GET OUT OF HERE KID.” Geralt yelled as he tried to hold off the harpy.

You got to your feet and slowly lifted your damaged arm and other. Both palms to the sky as you screamed out “Rost naur!!” And fire shot out of your palms as you screamed. Your hair coming undone and falling against your shoulders. Your eyes shut as you merged the flames into a dome and let them burn the harpy above you to dust. Then with one quick move, you shot your hand out at the one on top of Geralt and screamed “Torth- -o cín faer!!” And ripped the harpy in two.

Blood crashing down and drenching Geralt. He got up and watched as you were about to drop. And was there to catch you as your legs gave out. “Easy now.” He whispered.

You rested against his chest for a moment before a surge of power ran through you and left to the sky in blazing orange light. Your appearance slightly changing. Your eyes turning a soft orange your ears returning to their familiar pointed ones and your body covered in glowing light blue tattoos. You take one look at your hands before up at him.

“I have a job to finish.” You whisper and push out of his arms before he can say a word. You fall to your hands and knees crawling to your brother. Only then does he notice you and your brother’s features.

You’re face stained with tears and blood you take his hand and smile. “I never thought I’d see you again.” You whisper holding it close. Your brother smiles slightly, “Y/N, my Luna. I need you to follow through with our promise.” His voice was rough as he coughed up blood. At this point, you could see one of his arms was missing. His legs ripped opened and a hole in his midsection. Tears streamed down your face as you nodded.

“I love you, Rydel. Say hi to ma, pa, and Nuala for me.” You smile before caressing his face once more than going to your hip and pulling out your dagger and slicing his throat. Your hands going to the blood and drawing a symbol on his forehead before chanting “N- with mín kin in mán a faer.” Then setting your hands on his chest as a shooting solid blue light goes through his body. You fall backward everything going dark as his body burns in soft blue flames, the ashes dancing to the sky.

Geralt quickly grabs you in his arms looking over your wounds before carrying you down the mountain back to Jaskier without a word. Once Jaskier sees the two of you he freaks out. He runs over following the two of you like a lost puppy.

“Y/N!! She’s an elf!?” He nearly shouts as Geralt lays her almost lifeless body on the ground. Jaskier instantly puts a hand to your cheek, he was just starting to get used to you around.

“Doesn’t matter. Get my bag.” He spoke softly as he moved your hair and ripped your shirt off your shoulder, stitching you up the best he could at the moment. At least you wouldn’t bleed to death. But it was going to be a long trip back.

Chapter 3

Can You Parallel Park?

Pairings: jhs x reader , with appearance from OT7

Word count: 3.5k

Genre: fluff

Summary: parallel parking is stressful. Especially when you have an audience. Especially when your audience is the fray boys of BTS House.

Warnings: none, a few swear words  

A/N:  my first ever fic! I’ve been holding back publishing this because I’m shy ☺️ but if I don’t start now then when will I?? Please give it a read and leave comments and feedback. I’d really love to write more, and your feedback will help me improve and find my writing rhythm! (Also, I suck at titles)

————————— 💜 ——————————

Finally a parking spot. But it’s a parallel park. And it’s in front of a frat house. That happens to be BTS- the loudest, craziest, most good looking and most notorious on campus.

Now, you’re a master in parallel parking. But that’s when you drive on the LEFT side of the road. Your brain just can’t function now that you have to do it with the steering wheel on the opposite side of what you’re used to.

You pull up, aligning the car properly and start reversing, turning the wheel at the right time to ensure your car would slide into the spot, easily and quickly. But wait, the side of your car looks so dangerously close to the car in front. One slight move you’re sure to scrape it.

So you pull up again. Repeat the process.  And repeat. And repeat.

Your cheeks start to heat as you notice there are 2 guys now sitting at the patio, and- you’re very sure of this- watching your sixth attempt to parallel park in front of their house. Then another guy comes out.  And another.

So now you’re nowhere near to parking your car and you have an audience. Great.

All right Y/N, you can do this. You parallel park every day back home on busy 2-lane roads, with lines of cars honking at you. This is peanuts.

Seventh attempt. Eighth. And you finally did it at the ninth. Are those guys laughing at you?!

Embarrassed, you grab your bag, get out of the car, lock it, all the while looking at everywhere but the frat house. You can swear you hear clapping as you cross the road.

—

“Hey Y/N, did you park in front of BTS today?” Jungkook asks at dinner in the dining hall.

You give him a death stare. “How did you know?”

“Saw your car when I went there after practice. And some of the guys were talking about this girl who was having a hard time parking in front of the house.”

“I can’t believe I contributed to women driver stereotype.” You scoop your mac and cheese angrily.

‘Well they describe you as cute” you glare at Jungkook, but he only continues. “There’s a party there tonight. I’m going. You’re coming too, ok.”

—

You’re not sure how Jungkook managed to persuade you to come to the party. You have declared house of BTS as your sworn enemy, yet you wonder which of the guys had described you cute. I’ll show you cute, you mutter under your breath as you follow Jungkook into the house.

The music is loud, you can smell booze in the air, and there is just way too much shouting. The girls are shrieking over someone doing a keg stand, the guys are yelling Chug! chug! as if it’s a mating call, and you remember why you hate frat parties.

“Jungkook!!” A pink haired guy and a blue haired guy swoop down on you and your friend, and you immediately get lost in their eyes. The three of them hug, and Jungkook introduces you to these two ethereal beings. You divert your eyes shyly, their eyes are too much, you feel yourself unravelling when they stare at you like this. Then it’s off to the drinks tables, and you settle for a cola. You learn that Jimin and Taehyung are fellow pledgers, like Jungkook, and you really wonder what it is in the BTS house that just draws in the hottest guys on campus.

Jungkook and his two handsome friends are chatting away while you nurse your cola. You’re too shy in social settings like this, and you find it hard to talk to people. Jungkook is being pulled somewhere, and he pulls you along, knowing your shyness, but soon you lose him among the bumping bodies.

So now you’re alone, standing by the kitchen and starting to blend into the walls. You’re deliberating if you should go home, when a very handsome guy approaches you.

“Hey, you ok?” He asks. You stare at him. His face is so symmetrical. Is it even physically possible? He eyes you with concern, so you quickly nod.

“I’m Jin,” he introduces himself. “If you don’t feel so good, just go to the patio, ok? My boys here are good but there’s just way too many people now.” He’s practically shouting over the music. “Some of the seniors are outside and they’re not drinking so they can help you if anything happens, ok?”

You nod again. He grabs your cup of cola and sniff it.  “You sure you’re ok? You’re not drinking but you’re looking a bit weird it’s worrying me.”

You gulp. “I’m ok,” you shout back. “I’m just an introvert trapped in my worst nightmare.”

Jin laughs and you swear your car wipers make the same sound. “Ok. So you’re sober enough to help me find my food. Come.”

You let Jin usher you to the kitchen. Jin asks for your name, your major, the standard senior to sophomore questions.  Once you step into the kitchen, however, you’re greeted with a loud crash.

“Goddamnit Namjoon!” Jin bellows. You turn your eyes towards who you think is Namjoon, yet another handsome frat boy- what’s with this house seriously?- standing wide eyed over a cabinet that has crashed down... from the wall?

“It just fell,Hyung! I swear!!” He’s as shocked as Jin and you, your three serious faces stand out among a sea of drunken laughter.

“Well lucky it’s just a bunch of chips and cereals.” Jin mumbles as he moves to grab a black garbage bag. You help Jin hold the bag open as he and Namjoon start collecting the debris.

“I swear Hyung, I was just getting some chips and the whole thing just came down.” Namjoon picks some wooden pieces and throws them into the bag. Noticing you, he says, “Just hold the bag open ok, don’t touch any of these. You could get a splinter.”

You can’t help but feeling a little touched at his concern. “It’s ok. Though I think you’re better off taking all these straight to the bin outside.”

Jin grumbles. “You know, I just want a small dinner party with our friends. How did it get blown out of proportion like this. I even cooked! And I don’t even know where my food is.”

“Do you even want to know where your food is?” You say dryly. “Best scenario someone’s eaten if. Worst scenario someone’s having sex on top of it.”

“Aish. When did our house become such a party house?” Jin complains.

You look at the girls hovering in the kitchen. Cleavage, mini skirt and high heels. Eyes on Jin and Namjoon, begging for a glance. Fake laughs and shrills to get their attention.

“You guys are just too good looking. It’s ridiculous how good looking you and your brothers are.” You observe.

You’re treated to Namjoon’s adorable dimples as he laughs, and Jin’s “Yaaaaah, it’s  about time you say something about this face.”

“She’s right,” Namjoon picks up more small pieces of wood. “We need to rebrand, Hyung. We’re supposed to be an academic fraternity, but people only know us as party animals.”

The three of you take evidence of Namjoon’s destruction to bin in the yard. You’re grateful for the fresh air, and the company of the two seniors. Jin asks if you want to get back inside, and you politely decline, mentioning you’re thinking of going home anyway.

Jin and Namjoon protest, and insist you stay. They have have sensed your shyness, and they promise you won’t be left without company. They take you to the patio, which despite the amount of people coming and going, is much quieter than inside.

Jin and Namjoon introduce you to their other two brothers- handsome as hell also, like what do you expect at this stage really. While Hoseok is reminds you of sunshine and rainbow, Yoongi is the total opposite, with his black bucket hat, black tshirt, black jeans and black sneakers.

You feel shy again, in the presence of the four ridiculously good looking strangers you’ve just met. You can tell how close the four are. You can tell in their banter, their teasing, and the way they’re so comfortable physically with each other. You feel a bit jealous, wishing you had a group of friends like this.

Making friends has been difficult for you, and you count your lucky stars you get along so well with Jungkook, whom you’d met at your freshman class just a year ago. You’ve become so close that you start to fear that you’d lose him once he joins the BTS fraternity.

Then you hear something that snaps you out of your thoughts.

“Did you hear about the girl who tried to park in front of our house this afternoon?”

“Some of the juniors were talking about it. Why, what happened?”

“She nearly hit Jin’s pick up.”

“I heard the juniors were laughing at her. They said it took her like 15 minutes to park.”

“Aish, those boys should’ve helped her, not laugh at her.”

“Was it even a tight spot?”

“I think Jungkook knows the girl. He said he recognised the car.”

‘Is it difficult, parallel parking? They make you do it when you take your driver’s license test right?”

“We should apply to get at least this portion of the street to be a no parking zone. It gets so narrow once cars are parked on both sides.”

“I can parallel park with my eyes blindfolded.”

“Don’t ever let Namjoon parallel park. He’d hit the car in front AND behind him.”

You’re frozen in embarrassment. It doesn’t matter that they don’t know you’re THAT girl, to your ears, the casual way they talk about the whole thing sounds like they’re making fun of you.

You put your soda cup down a little to hard, and you say your goodbye a little too rough. The four guys are taken aback by your sudden change of mood. They’ve realised you don’t talk much and they’ve made an effort to include you in their conversation, not taking any offence when you give short and terse answers, or even polite smiles as you hide behind your cup. So the anger they see in your body language puzzles them.

“Did we say something wrong?” Hoseok says as he and his brothers watch you stomp your way out of the patio.

“She’s really upset.” Yoongi adds. “We must have said something that pisses her off.”

“No shit, Sherlock. Is she walking home? Does anyone know where she lives?” Jin asks, concerned for your safety.

“But what did we say? It’s weird she just stormed off like that.” Hoseok wonders as he watches you walking away.

“Did you guys see who she came with?” Namjoon asks Hoseok and Yoongi, who have been lounging in the patio since the swarm of party goers came to the house.

“I didn’t notice her until she came here with you two.” Yoongi replies.

“I saw her with Jungkook I think,” Hoseok tries to recall. “Should we tell him? Wait, is she his girlfriend? Maybe she’s pissed off he’s left her with us.”

“Whenever Jimin, Tae and Jungkook are together they just get into a bubble and forget about everyone else.” Namjoon says.

“One of us should at least walk her home right?” Jin watches you walking further away.

“She’s not his girlfriend. Jungkook doesn’t have a girlfriend.” Yoongi says sure of himself. Then it clicks. “Wait, oh shit.”

“Is she... Jungkook said he recognised...” Namjoon pieces the information together.

“Is she seriously walking home?” Jin is practically shouting. He knows Jungkook has a female flatmate, and now he’s put a face to the name Jungkook has very often mentioned to his frat brothers. And Jin knows your and Jungkook’s apartment is a good half hour walk away, and in a much quieter part of campus. Jin is really worried for your safety.

The four guys quickly get up and run after you.

—

You kick a pebble. You can’t hear the music and the revelry of the party anymore and your anger has dissipated, turned into annoyance and regret. You could’ve made a joke, poked a bit of fun at yourself, rather than throwing a tantrum and walking away like this.

But, so what? They’ve been insensitive making fun of people who can’t parallel park. Doesn’t matter how gorgeous they are, they’re just bratty frat boys from THE frat house on campus. They think they own the world.

But... they’ve been very nice to you too. Jin making sure you’re involved in their conversation. Namjoon recommending classes  with good professors. Hoseok checking if you need more cola or if you’re hungry. Yoongi’s  deadly stare warding off any drunken guys trying to hit on you. You sigh.

“Y/N!”

You stop in your track, heart in your throat, and turn to find the four guys you’ve just been thinking about running toward you.

“God,” Jin is panting. “Why do you walk so fast?”

“What are you guys doing?” You stare at Jin and his brothers. Did they chase you down all the way here?

Yoongi points at Jin. “He’s worried for your safety.”

“So we’re going to walk you home. In case something happens.” Hoseok adds.

You look at the four faces, confused. “Wouldn’t it look suspicious if four guys walk one girl home?”

The four faces look at you then each other, not quite sure with what you mean.

“Well a guy walks a girl home is normal, right? But four guys and one girl? Isn’t that kinda weird” Where the hell are you going with this, Y/N?

“Um,” Namjoon rubs the back of his neck, “we just want to make sure you’re ok.”

“You stormed off and it surprised us how upset you seem..” Yoongi adds, looking away but there is genuine concern in his voice.

”You’re flatmate with Jungkook, right? Your apartment isn’t exactly just around the corner. What if something happens on your way home?” Jin says.

“She’s right though, four guys walking a girl home does look weird. Let’s just do Rock Paper Scissors, guys.” Hoseok suggests.

You shake your head, watching them bicker some more before starting the hand game. You roll your eyes and start walking again, leaving them behind. You hear Jin calls you to wait, then more bickering, then a set of footsteps getting closer to you.

“Y/N, wait.” You turn and find Hoseok has caught up with you. “I’ll walk you home.” You look back and see the other three guys waving goodbye at you, then turning back towards their house. “I don’t normally win at rock paper scissors, glad I did just now though.” He flashes a wide smile at you.

You catch yourself wanting to smile back, how can you not, when he smiles at you like that. And it’s cute how the guys reacted after you left their party so abruptly.  But you remember you’re supposed to be annoyed.

“Congratulations, hope you like walking.” You mutter. You hide a smile as Hoseok tries to keep up with your fast pace.

“Slow down Y/N, you’re going to look like you’re trying to run away from me.” Hoseok grabs your wrist, forcing you to match his slower pace.

Your breath hitches as he holds your wrist a few seconds longer, only letting go once you start to walk at a more leisurely pace.

“Slow down and enjoy the scenery.” He smiles.

You scoff. “Brown brick buildings hardly make beautiful scenery.”

Hoseok tuts. “But the trees do, and the shadows from the street lamps do. See, they look like they’re dancing in the breeze.”

“More like bony hands trying to strangle you.”

“Tsk. So macabre, Y/N. You need more sunshine in your life.” Hoseok teases.

“And I suppose you’re the sunshine?” You tease back.

“With a smile like this, of course I am.” He beams.

You can’t help but chuckle. A few  minutes pass by, you and Hoseok stroll in silence.

“Y/N,” Hoseok gently calls your name, “I’m sorry about what we said back there.”

You keep looking ahead, embarrassment creeping up again.

“We didn’t know it was you. I.. well we’re really sorry we said all those stuff.”

You sigh. “Doesn’t matter, Hoseok. Whether or not you knew it was me, you guys still made fun of the whole situation.”

“I know, I know. We’re no better than our juniors who laughed at you.”

“It’s very embarrassing you know.” You pout, you don’t feel as upset anymore, but you might as well milk this for all it’s worth. “It’s horrible to be at the receiving end like that.”

“Ah, Y/N,” Hoesoek throws an arm around your shoulder and gives you a gentle squeeze. You blush immediately. “I’m very sorry. Really. All of us are.”

You clear your throat. Hoseok’s arm is still around you, and it doesn’t feel like he’s going to remove it soon. “I’m sorry too, Hoseok. The way I reacted was a bit... childish.” You say softly.

Another squeeze from Hoseok. “No, Y/N. Your reaction was understandable. We were out of line. Forgive us?” He turns to look at you intently.

Your cheeks are burning. You find it hard to answer him. But he mistakes your silence as playful sulking. “Come on, Y/N, forgive us please,” He wraps you in both his arms now. “We’re so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, ok?”

“And how are you going to make it up to me, Hoseok?” You coarsely ask, nerves so obvious in your voice.

Hoseok makes an exaggerated thinking pose. “I’ll send you the biggest bouquet of flowers. So big all the other girls on this campus would be so jealous of you.”

“Hmm. Don’t like flowers.” You say matter of factly.

“What? Why not?!”

You shrug. “Waste of money. They’re expensive. And they’ll just wither and die.”

“I’ll make you dinner.”

“You cook?”

Hoseok scratches his chin. “Well. Jin Hyung will cook and I’ll pass it as my own cooking?”

“That’s cheating, Hoseok.”

“I’ll walk you home everyday.”

“I drive, remember?”

Hoseok winces. You giggle.

“Chocolates?”

“Don’t like sweet stuff.”

And so you keep going back and forth with Hoseok. Your giggles become laughter as the embarrassment of your parallel parking vanishes.  You don’t realise Hoseok still has an arm around your shoulder. That he has pulled you closer to him, your side pressed against his. That you eventually put your arm around his waist. And that you rest your head on the nook of his shoulder when he makes you laugh.

—

Hoseok insists walking  you all the way up to your apartment. You fish your key out, and unlock your door.

“Do you want anything to drink? Some water?” You ask shyly as you step into your apartment. Feeling that Hoseok is not by your side anymore, you turn around, surprised finding him lingering by the entrance, looking unsure.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, really. I just figure you might be thirsty after that long walk.” You stutter.

“No, no, Y/N. I’m sorry, it’s just..” Hoseok steps inside and nervously looks around your apartment, trying to give you an explanation but unable to.

“It’s just...” Hoseok repeats, and you find yourself holding your breath, staring at him. In the harsh light of your kitchen, he still looks so breathtakingly beautiful. Soft dark brown hair, gentle eyes, sharp cheekbones, oh my god that jawline, and those lips. Lips? Get a hold of yourself, Y/N.

“... can I have your number?” Hoseok finally asks. He smiles shyly at you and he thinks you look so cute blinking, surprised at his question. He likes the feeling of your arm around his waist, how your laughter is so free once you’re comfortable with him, how you fit so nicely against him. He wants more.

Hoseok pulls out his cellphone and hands it to you. You gingerly take it and puts in your number. Hoseok takes his phone back and gives you a missed call. “Now you have my number too.”

You take your phone out and saves his number. Then you realise. “hoseok, how are you going back to your house?”

Hoseok shrugs. “I’ll walk.”

“God, I’m so sorry. I made you walk all the way here and back.” You eye your couch. Should you offer him to stay over? Is that too forward?

Hoseok smiles and shakes his head. “I told you I’m happy I won rock paper scissors, didn’t I? I really am happy. I enjoyed the walk with you. Yeah the walk back will be lonely...” he taps his phone, “but you’ll keep me company, right?”

“Of course.” You answer giddily, nodding your head.

Hoseok steps out of your apartment, you hold the door open, reluctant to see him go. You stare at each other for a few seconds, both of you smiling nervously.  You gather your courage to offer him your couch for the night, there’s no loss in asking. As you open your mouth however, he leans in and gives your the sweetest kiss on your cheek.

Your hand reaches for the spot on your cheek where his lips have just been. He smiles again and tweaks your nose gently.

“Get inside and lock up, ok? I’ll call you.” He says, as he starts to leave, walking backwards so he can still see you. “Don’t forget to lock your door.” He reminds you.  

You smile at him and gives him a wave goodbye. You close your door, lock it then rests your head against it.

And you can’t hide your broad smile as you hear your phone ringing. Sunshine is calling you, as promised.

N e way it has been 728 days since I last saw/had any communication from my older brother (and longer for my little brother, but I don't know the exact date bc I wasn't fucking PAYING ATTENTION.)

And you know what? I remember the day. 7-14-17. He told me he'd text me the next day and see me the next week. You wanna know how many times he's contacted me? Zero. He's also blocked me. All because his fucking CUNT parents (can you say: DIS-GUS-TENG) decided for some fucking UNKNOWN reason that our mom, sister, and I needed to be cut off completely. Literal family, disowned with absolutely no explanation. He and I were closer than ANYONE and ALWAYS told each other we were more important than anyone else to each other. He has had so, so many opportunities to contact me. Literally just sending a fucking letter could've worked. Just, "Hey, it's Tyler. Simon and I are ok. We miss you a ton. Don't send anything back." But would you guess what? Nope. Nothing. One of his friends said that he misses me, and is apparently going to text me once he's 18. But a mutual friend of ours (who's closer to him than the other one) said more recently that he hates me now! Neat. Great. Good. Wonderful. Our sister lived in a much, MUCH more dangerous house than his, and yet wouldn't you know it! She has contacted me every single time she's had the opportunity, and risked a lot for it too. Even if she couldn't carry on a conversation, she'd let me know that she was at least safe or ok. And wow! Now that she has a phone again, she texts me all the time! Almost like...if you put in the effort to contact someone you care about, you absolutely can! She's planning to drive down and visit me! (If you're reading this Pauline I love you SO HECKING MUCH HOE ASS HOE!!!!)

I even believe that our little brother would have contacted me if he knew how. He was fucking six the last time I saw him. He's turning nine this August. Of COURSE he can't contact me, he doesn't have a phone or know my address to send a letter.

Anyway. I don't know if I'll ever hear from him again. Lots of people have told me to just give up.

....

Don't they get it...? I can't ever give up. He was my everything. Absolutely everything to me. He was there, always, no matter what.

He has no idea how many times I've cried, sobbed myself to sleep over losing him. He has no idea how much sleep I've lost over him, whether it be from nightmares where he finds me and tells me he hates me and hopes I kill myself, or from not being able to sleep because I had an unexplainable feeling that he might, just maybe, come see me, and I didn't want to go to sleep for fear of not hearing a knock or the doorbell. I'd already gone through that with our sister. He has no idea how many times I've come so, so close to just texting him, telling him how much I miss him, telling him I've changed, how much I wish he'd come back. How much I wish I could just hear his voice. See his face. Hear his laugh.

I don't know what I did. I have absolutely no clue. Neither does Pauline. Or our mom. Not an inkling. I found a letter the other day from them when I was going through boxes. A birthday card. There were long messages from both of them (the cunts) inside, telling me how much they loved me, how proud they were of me and the young man I was growing into, how much they loved having me as a part of their family, etc, etc. Who knew that in less than a year and a half from then, they'd be telling me I shouldn't ever ask about going on a family trip to the beach. But not for the same reason it used to be. It used to be, "Don't ever ask if you can come with us on a family trip, you're OBVIOUSLY coming! Why wouldn't you? You are family, after all!"

Then it was, "You're so selfish. Don't EVER ask something like that. Why would you think you could just invite yourself on a trip with us? How DARE you be so disrespectful!? You should be ashamed of yourself."

I hadn't even asked to go. I had been on every single beach trip EVER with them. They were family, after all. Tyler told me they were going to Santa Monica and asked if I was coming. I said no. I hadn't even known anything about it. So I texted CUNT BITCH (CB) and she didn't respond. All I said was, "Hey, Tyler told me you're going on a beach trip on Monday and Tuesday, did you forget to invite me or should I just not come?"

She didn't respond for over four hours. Which was really fucking weird. Because she always responded to me. So I texted again. "It's totally fine if I can't come, I'd just appreciate it if you could tell me instead of leaving me on read please."

Wow! Would you guess what. CUNT FUCK (CF) (her husband) texted me ALMOST IMMEDIATELY from her phone. The message read something like (I don't have the original texts anymore),

"How could you be so selfish. Inviting yourself on a trip that's for FAMILY ONLY. (Insert rant about how I'm a terrible person and caused CB to have a "panic attack") (and yes, I know putting panic attack in quotations seems really bad, but she faked panic attacks the entire time I knew her, aka my whole life. And they got SO much worse in those last couple months.) You hurt CB so much. You know how much she cares about you, and yet you accused her of ignoring you. How could you. I'm disappointed in the amount of disrespect you are showing right now." (Side note, I went over to his house back in June, CB opened the door, didn't recognize me at first, then said, "Nope, get out!" And slammed the door in my face.)

Tyler came over the next day, we hung out, he left. When he hugged me goodbye he said he'd talk to his parents about bringing me on the beach trip, he didn't know why they hadn't asked me.

And that was the last I heard from him. Friday, July fourteenth, 2017. Never again. I don't know if he hates me. But it certainly seems like he does.

I don't know, maybe one day he'll contact me again. Maybe he won't. Maybe I'll live the rest of my life wondering what I did and why he and his parents hate me. Maybe he will contact me, just to tell me what a terrible person I am and how glad he is he was separated from me.

I don't know.

I just want to talk to him again. I want to tell him how sorry I am for being a bossy prick. For beating him up when we were little (but I mean we're fucking brothers, and that's just what we fucking did back then). For not being there on his 14th birthday. For getting angry when he won games. For being angsty all the time when I was older. For lecturing him about Homestuck all the time. For being in the hospital so much when I was younger (see: being angsty all the time). For spending more time with s/o's than him sometimes. For waking him up at 0100 in the morning in 7th grade. For being so flamboyant about my sexuality for a few years (god, that was bad). For saying TRIGGERED every two seconds. For hurting myself even after I promised I wouldn't. For not being good enough at the piano to play the Animal Crossing: City Folk museum theme with him. For not waking up early when he was over. For not making enough (or good enough) homemade gifts for him. For not having enough random gift days. For not listening to him when he said things I was doing were edgy. For making him listen to annoying music.

For not being a good enough brother.

I miss him so much. I miss Simon so much. I miss Pauline so much too, obviously, but it's different because I've been able to talk with her all the time. I know she loves and misses me. I also have a feeling that Simon loves and misses me too. He always liked/loved me more than anyone else. He hated his parents. He told me so. I was the only one that respected him. I feel like no matter the amount of brainwashing his parents did to him, he'd know the truth. I just hope he knows I didn't abandon him. That I love him so much. And that it hurts so, so much, every day. And especially on Christmas and his birthday. And Halloween. We loved Halloween.

It's 0606 now. There's 41 hours and 54 minutes until it's been two whole years.

I wonder if he remembers the day...?

I don't know.

I wonder if he'll read this one day. Probably not. But if he does I hope he knows how much I love him and how much I miss him and how much I miss our driveway talks in the middle of the night and Mario kart races and pool games and water pool games and snowmen and sledding and writing stories together and drawing maps together and listening to pop songs while making fun of them and playing the undertale song game and playing minecraft and watching markiplier and fighting and cheating at board games in each other's favor and sorting candy after Halloween and collecting shit money from a camel in that Indiana Jones lego Wii game and making characters in that star wars lego Wii game and screaming badgers at the top of our lungs and spinning in circles to the hamster dance and walking home from elementary school and learning Japanese and OPERATIONTWENTYFOURHUNDRED and Sliced and making house tour videos and other fucking stupid home videos and building legos and rebuilding legos bc of simon and REREBUILDING LEGOS BC OF SIMON and planning midnight snacks that never happened and going to the waterpark and going to the park and finally being allowed to go places on our own and practicing singing to you and seeing you at all my concerts and playing Kirby's Return to Dreamland to 100% together and making really disgusting food creations when we were really little and playing with your hotwheels and cleaning my (DIS-GUS-TENG) room together and having random gift days and all your birthdays and all my birthdays and your AMAZING peanut butter fudge banana smoothie (which I,,, still have yet to perfect) and you being absolutely blunt and truthful towards me (except about my drawing skills/drawings which you absolutely loved even though they were terrible) and going through the undertale files to try and hack the end credits so we could get through the mysterious door and having tea parties together with that FUCKING TINY tea set (I have a big one now though) and giving you fashion shows with fucking stupid clothes that were really bad and playing Wii ski together and Super Mario Galaxy together while you were Mario and I froze enemies and collected stars and playing HMTOT and playing Animal Crossing and you selling everything you caught and all your furniture (besides mario stuff, obviously) so I could buy the Gracie Grace stuff (god, I was a cunt) and EOU (YOU'RE AS BLIND AS A WORM) and essentially having our own language and reading jack and annie books when we were really little and just. There's 20,000 more things plus some but I could never list them all. Everything we've ever done together I miss.

I don't know your views on a lot of things now. I don't know what you think about gay people. I've heard that you've called me they instead of he ever since we stopped talking. That's understandable, though. I dressed like a girl and wore makeup and stuff. I was confused. I thought that's what you were supposed to do, as a gay dude. Obviously not. I'm way less out there about my sexuality now. It's not something I talk about. It's not my whole fucking personality anymore. Which is really good.

I've changed so much since I last talked to you. I'm not edgy anymore. I fucking finally hit puberty (GODDAMN IT WAS FUCKING LATE) and my voice is really deep and I've been growing quite a bit of facial hair, which is nice. I don't look like a fucking girl anymore because I stopped dressing like one and wearing makeup and stuff. I realized that being mistaken for a girl felt like shit and tumblr was shit for encouraging that, just because I'm gay. I haven't hurt myself since September 4th, 2017. So that's also good. I've seen the bad things in mom that I couldn't see before. (Even though there's literally. Nothing that should have made your fucking cunt mother and father disown Pauline and mom and I.) I've made more friends and lost a lot too. I've done more writing, but nothing too edgy. I got my shit together in school and I'm going to CCCC starting in the fall. I almost have my driver's license. One of my best friend's moms is the manager at Starbucks and I talked to her about hiring me, so I'm getting a job soon, too. I started learning the piano again, for the first time in 12 years. Since the last time your mom taught it to me. I started cooking more, and have made some pretty amazing dishes, if I do say so myself. Mom and I sent you and Simon birthday and Christmas presents every year. They always were sent back. Except for your 16th birthday. I bought you a pineapple pizza club pin and an orange dad hat with an orange on it. Those are the only things that ever haven't been sent back. I sent a note with them too. Did you read it? I hope so.

I brag about you all the time. Mostly about how smart you are. "My brother essentially taught himself pre-calculus in 10th grade, and STILL passed the class," I say. I then go on to explain that you were homeschooled and your math teacher almost never showed up to the online classes.

I've wondered often about what college you're going to go to, or even if you are going. We used to plan to go to one together. I can't even remember what I wanted as a career the last time we talked. I remember that you had no idea, though. I remember you being really good at coding. Maybe you're majoring in computer sciences? I don't know.

I really miss you a ton. Before she kicked me out, mom used to encourage me to send you a letter. I never did. I was scared. Scared of getting a letter back like the one I sent to Simon on his eighth birthday, or the Christmas package we sent in 2017. Both came back to our house with "RETURN TO SENDER!!!!!!!" written in thick black sharpie on the front. Even worse, I imagined a letter back in your handwriting. I would've been so, so ecstatic. Beyond thrilled. Then upon opening it, finding a handwritten letter from you saying that you never wanted to hear from me again and that you hated me.

It was selfish of me. To not send you a letter. I'm sorry. I texted you twice. You blocked me the second time. It was too scary to me. I should've been brave. For you. Just so you knew I was thinking of you. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I miss you so much.

After I moved back to our hometown, I thought about going to your house. I texted one of your friends. He said that he could text you for me. He said that you said you miss me. And that you'd text me as soon as you turned 18. Tyler, you don't even know my number. I don't know if the guy was lying or not, but I don't think so. He doesn't seem like the type. He said that you wouldn't have him communicate for us. I don't know why.

I don't know why your parents hate me. I don't know what I did. For the longest time, my therapist and mom and Pauline told me that I didn't do anything, it had to have been something between mom and your mom. I didn't believe that at all. If it was just mom, why did they cut Pauline and I off...? But eventually I started to believe them. That was clearly a mistake, seeing how your mom treated me when I saw her. I wonder if she told you about that. She literally slammed the door in my face. In her own son's face. Who she always told would always have a home with her. Who she always told would always have a place in her heart, no matter what happened between mom and her. So clearly I did do something. I have no idea what. Could it really be that I asked about if I had been forgotten for a trip...? Was 15 years of raising a child completely disregarded because I was curious and confused? Again, I have no clue. I doubt I ever will. But if that is the case. If that's why specifically /I/ was cut off (because I know there was something else between mom and your mom that she literally never explained. Literally all mom and Pauline and I know is that apparently mom was "abusive" for years towards your mom, despite nobody ever seeing it, her never mentioning it before I went to Oak Grove, and her saying that she "knew it happened, but didn't know what it was"), then I doubt that your parents ever really loved me. If a simple question erases a lifetime of care and love and bonds and family, then all of those things were never really there.

It's 0737. Yeah, I still use military time. Also, I wanted to do a speech (in my speech class) on why a time system based on 10's would be better for the world. Remember? You wanted that. I couldn't remember the details, though. Anyway. It's 0738. There's 40 hours and 22 minutes until it's been two years since I've seen you.

I often wonder if you think about me. I think about you all the time. Have I faded from your memory? What am I to you now? Am I your brother, your closest confidant, your best friend, and your <>? Am I nothing? Just a faint thought, a distant memory? Or am I your worst enemy? Have your parents convicted you that I'm a horrible person? I desperately hope not. I hope you remember everything. And I hope that you realize that it's been a long time, and we both have matured a ton. Going from an edgy 10th grader who thinks dressing like a girl, screaming "GAY," and looking up undertale AU's are the coolest things ever to a college freshman who finally realized that sexuality shouldn't be a personality trait, being an edgy cunt isn't cool, and responsibilities are actually important is a big difference. I'm sure you've had some huge changes too. You're almost 18. As of today, there's 2 months and 2 days until your birthday. I've been waiting for it for so, so long. An eternity, it feels like. I'm so scared. I don't know if you hate me or not. I'm going to text you. I'm not sure on what, but something. I'll tell you happy birthday. Just so you know how to contact me in case you want to talk. I have no idea if you'll just block me right off the bat. I'm hoping so, so much that Nathanael wasn't saying you hate me.

It's 0756. There's 40 hours and 4 minutes until it's been two years since I've seen you. Error 404 means...something not found, right? I don't know. It doesn't matter.

I miss you. I love you.

Please come back soon.

- E. Nikolas B.

FMA Brotherhood: Episodes 17-18

FMA Brotherhood Episode 17: "Cold Flame"

Ross, accused of Hughes' assassination, is placed under military police custody and interrogated by Douglas. After reading a newspaper article about Ross's detention, Barry the Chopper leaves the safe house and launches a solo raid on the jail. Barry releases Ross from jail as well as Ling who promises to help them both. Barry tells Ross that she needs to leave Central immediately or risk being killed. Edward and Alphonse run into the trio, and Barry holds the brothers off to allow Ross time to escape. Ross then runs into Mustang, who seemingly kills her in with a massive fireball. Edward accosts Mustang after seeing a charred body, but Mustang coldly reminds Edward of his place as a soldier of the state military. Later, Armstrong shows up and declares that Edward should return to Resembool to have his automail arm fixed, dragging the confused Edward away.

We open with Ross' interrogation. She apparently uses the same caliber as the bullet that killed Hughes, and conveniently, she fired one shortly before, while rescuing the Elrics at the Fifth Laboratory. That's sort of a clever detail, but it's so specific I feel it loops back around to contrived. There's no way the villains could have planned this all out.

DOUGLAS: I'd like to say it was a good shot, but it was at point-blank range. Close enough that even a woman could have done it.

Truly, this show is God's gift to feminism. (This is especially absurd when Riza is supposedly renowned for her sniping abilities.)

Douglas says there were witnesses seeing her leave the site of Hughes' murder, so Envy was smart enough to turn back, unless they made this up completely. Ross' alibi is apparently that she was at her parents' house that day, which of course leaves her with no acceptable corroborating witnesses.

Armstrong is still bandaged from his wound battling Dolcetto. That's a nice detail.

Brosh says he corroborated Ross' story, but he was ignored. Seems like a dumb move on Bradley's part. Say he was colluding with her and kill him too! Weren't they both working under Hughes? It should be easy to cook up a motive for both of them.

Winry notes that Al's armor has scratches. Al shrugs it off, but I'd be pretty concerned about that. Armor doesn't heal, and Ed's stated that using alchemy to repair him is risky.

Ed is sulking. For once we actually get a scene with comparable length of pauses as OG, and unsurprisingly it's effective.

Winry says she's scared they'll die and wishes they'd give up on trying to get their bodies back. Because this is Brotherhood and not OG, this goes nowhere and is instead followed by some silly ship-teasing from Al.

...And then we get more time with our lulzy serial killer. Falman not only turns his back on him but leans down to get the newspaper while, I again feel the need to point out, Barry is totally unrestrained, and Barry just sits there because he's such a nice serial killer.

Ed sees Ross has been found as the culprit and immediately rushes to Mustang's office. Al wants to tell Winry, and Ed decides they can tell her later, because girls don't get to be in the loop.

We cut to Ling in jail. He's apparently 15, so they're totally down with imprisoning children. I'm surprised he doesn't say he's a prince.

Barry shows up to jailbreak Ross and suddenly guns don't work on him because what is consistency. Also THEY GAVE HIM WEAPONS because they're very trusting of serial killers, apparently. But it's okay, they told Barry not to kill anyone so he doesn't, because serial killers are such nice and honorable people.

Cartoon when the guards run from Barry.

Barry frees Ling when he hears he's from Xing. I don't know why, I guess it's explained later.

Cartoon when Ross objects to having to escape with a lecherous serial killer. So funny!

And urgh Barry crushes on her when she displays "spunk". Urrrggghhhhh

Ross' party runs into the Elrics, but Barry tells her to run into another alley where she encounters… Mustang! He charbroils her. Ed is horrified and has a falling-out with him.

The doctor identifies the body as Ross from dental records… then says what a shame it is such beauty was ruined, because he's a creep. Why, show.

We cut to the homunculi and discover the plan was apparently for him to… not kill her? What was the plan, then? They don't even seem to be in agreement, because Envy thinks this was a good outcome.

Then Armstrong shows up and drags Ed to Resembool under Mustang's orders. My first thought is Envy, but no, that would be too competent. Afterwards, Mustang ominously muses that everyone is out of the way.

Envy returns with intel. Why is he suddenly good at infiltration? Why does he need to infiltrate at all when, again, they run the government and can interrogate anyone they want?

But wow! What a shocking plot twist! Maybe I was wrong about Brotherhood after all! Major characters are getting killed! Mustang is a flawed, morally gray character! What are going to be the consequences of this? It's so exciting! All Brotherhood has to do now is not screw this up!

FMA Brotherhood Episode 18: "The Arrogant Palm of a Small Human"

Edward and Armstrong arrive in Resembool where they meet Heymans Breda, who takes them to the Xerxes ruins. Once there, they discover that Ross is still alive, and that Mustang faked her death in order to draw out those responsible for Hughes' murder. After the brief reunion, Ross decides to hide out in Xing with Fu, but promises to return if she is ever needed. After Ross' departure, Edward explores the ruins, finding a damaged transmutation circle. He also encounters a group of Ishbalan refugees, who reveal that it was Scar who killed Winry's parents while they gave medical aid to the Ishbalan during the civil war. Meanwhile, Barry's human body, which is now nothing more than a crazed animal, attacks Falman and Barry back in Central. However, with the assistance of Jean Havoc and the sniper Hawkeye, they manage to subdue Barry's body. Suddenly, Hawkeye is attacked by Gluttony.

So of course it screws it up.

Back at Central Winry and Al whine about how they're being kept from the plot. Ling shows up to explain everything and there is comedy as they freak out at someone who just tried to kill them sneaking into their home. Hilarious.

Everyone wears cloaks in the desert, which is a nice detail.

We learn the story of the Eastern/Western Sage. It's an interesting concept, but the phrasing is very weird. I get the impression the idea is supposed to be that they're the same guy whose teachings spread in both directions, but the way it's phrased – that this one guy specifically traveled in a direction – makes it sound like he went to one country and then doubled back to the other one.

In the Mystery Reveal Flashback, Mustang panics and hangs up when Barry calls his office, and continues it from the outside phone booth. Again, I have to wonder just what level their tapping technology is at. Even if they're only tapping Mustang's own phone, what we see of the call is extremely suspicious, and Barry is easily identifiable by his voice.

Barry corroborates Ross' innocence, because serial killers are such nice people?

Then Mustang makes a fake body and NO. NO. THIS IS STUPID. THE PREMISE OF THE STORY IS THAT HUMAN TRANSMUTATION IS IMPOSSIBLE. Okay, so it's fine as long as you're not trying to create life? Except in every resurrection attempt we see, the bodies themselves are put together wrong! If it's so easy to make a fake body, then why can't the Elrics heal themselves with normal alchemy? Why can't Ed just make a fake body and bind Al's soul to that? Why is human transmutation such a big deal in the first place? This entire twist is the author screaming SCREW YOU FOR THINKING MY MAGIC SYSTEM MAKES SENSE. There is no way the viewer could have predicted this. It is stupid and contrived on so many levels.

Breda explicitly brings up the dental records. Mustang says he's handled it but does not say how because that's how you write a mystery right?

We then redo the confrontation scene and see that Mustang did in fact make a perfectly intact body to start with, then charbroiled it in an explosion that could be seen from across the block but which somehow left both of them unharmed because convection doesn't exist.

ALSO

MUSTANG IS IN DIFFERENT POSITIONS IN EACH EPISODE

THIS WAS NOT FORESHADOWED, THIS IS CHEATING

Ling apparently told Fu to escort Ross to Xing. Why…? He has no reason to get involved in any of this.

Ed actually says Mustang was right for not telling him, because Ed wouldn't have believed him. No, Ed, Mustang was being a dick.

We cut back to Ling and learn he only helped to learn the secret of soul-binding. Barry told him he doesn't know so he should ask Al. Didn't we just have a plotline about this?

Back to Ed, who waffles about how mysterious and dangerous the plot is becoming but he's going to be DETERMINED and protect people. This was not necessary.

Ross gets put on a bus and offers to come back if she's needed. This will not happen until the finale.

Fu says Xing is "tolerant of others". Uh, sure. It also has an abundance of food and everything is great. You know, this sure does trivialize this plot about the evils of government when there's a perfect utopia just next door.

We discover that Mustang's phone calls to his sweetheart are actually coded messages to his team. They are not terribly subtle. Like, they're cocking guns while in earshot. If anyone's tapping those calls, they should know he's up to something.

Then there's some convoluted plot about Barry's original body coming after him because this plot definitely needed more actors in it.

Havoc does not land a single shot on a dude in the same room as him despite going through an entire clip.

Barry's body is somehow strong enough to rip the armor's arm off. He continues to dodge bullets until Riza snipes him. I guess the show has decided there is going to be exactly one character who can use guns properly.

Why did they leave Ed alone if they knew Ishbalans were here?

But it's okay because the Ishbalans recognize he's One of The Good Ones, because otherwise dynamics of privilege and oppression might negatively affect our heroes and we can't have that. No, all you need to do is talk loudly about it while never depicting how it actually looks in real life and you can just rake in the Woke Points.

Seriously, it's so textbook. They ~realize not all Amestrians are bad~ because this kid knew one good Amestrian. Never mind that Winry's parents were obvious exceptions and they have very good reason to fear Amestrians when their whole culture worships the military. Everything revolves around the hero.

We learn Winry's parents were killed by Scar. We will later learn that this was an accident that had nothing to do with the actual political situation, because in Brotherhood people are not allowed to make real mistakes.

Barry wants to kill his own body because…?

We see that Barry's body is rotting. So how is it tearing armor apart and dodging bullets?

We end with Gluttony attacking Riza.

Conclusion

This is the first nail in the coffin. Here we begin the pattern of storytelling that will characterize Brotherhood's entire plot: SHOCKING TWIST lol j/k everything's fine. I despise this. It shows brazen contempt for the audience, treating them like goldfish who won't keep watching if you can't give them a constant adrenaline high, while lacking the courage to commit to anything truly daring. It doesn't even work after the first few times! Once you establish you don't have the guts to actually kill anyone, we no longer care. Even if you eventually do decide this time it's for real, our emotional reaction will be completely shot and we'll never be certain if you're going to undo it at a moment's notice. It's nothing but a cheap, pathetic trick, the standby of mediocre authors having to crank out a chapter a month while desperately staving off cancellation.

And okay, maybe that would still be enjoyable to me, maybe, if I actually liked the characters involved. But no. Ed gets shoved into a bland, expository B-plot and Al doesn't even get that. Instead we have to watch MUSTANG THE MOST SPECIALEST be very special and important. I signed up for this show because I liked the protagonists. Why are you making me watch a show that's no longer about them? That's really it, isn't it – this is going back on everything the series hooked the audience with originally (in the manga, at least). Ed is a chump, alchemy is magic, the villains are incompetent. I don't see how you could still be invested at this point if you were at all interested in the opening.

Token good point: I do like the Xerxes bits, because I'm a weirdo who cares about silly things like plot and characters. They're good exposition that effectively build the mystery, and some good character moments too. I hate what the answers turn out to be, but as a setup it's perfectly fine.

Like with episode 15, I'd be well within my rights to nope out at this point. But how could I do that, knowing the show has even more rope to hang itself with? Let's see where this travesty ends!

Quan Zhi Gao Shou / The King’s Avatar Manhua (Chapters 0-5)

What I really enjoyed right from the start of the animation was the realistic nature of the game and characters. I only play games sporadically myself, and usually handhelds at that, but even I could relate to Ye Xiu’s journey to the top of the new server. I mean, usually you just take for granted that the main character is aiming for the top of something, but it’s difficult to relate to saving the world or leading a gang of misfits across the land fighting monsters. Climbing to the top in a game, however? We’ve probably all tried it in some way or another, even if we failed along the way (I still haven’t completed the National Pokedex in any Pokemon game, ok).

This also could have been stated at the beginning of a review for the whole series, but this is a long one, the novel translations aren’t even complete yet. So it’s here now as a preface.

And now it’s time for my far less composed liveblogging! This is not going to be as detailed as my Shoukoku no Altair one by a long shot, I think I’d collapse of exhaustion before I finished.

Chapter 0: Cause

It is both unnerving and relaxing to not obsess about language nuance like I do when I read Japanese stuff. On the other hand, it feels weird being back to the state of not understanding more than a few words here and there...

Colored panels are the best. The color (cold tones) to black & white to color (warm tones) back to black & white is a neat contrast.

I’m honestly really excited to get all these names and teams straight. I watched several groups’ subs for the early episodes and all the names were translated differently, leading me to have no clue who anyone was or which team they belonged to except the currently teamless Ye Xiu lol.

Chapter 1: As we drink, the lute signals to go to war

Look at that smug smirk. Ye Xiu’s relationship with Su Mucheng is just really nice with how supportive they are of each other.

Damn it, I said I wasn’t going to go panel-by-panel! But I like the contrast between these two shots. One is as he is turning away, after having reassured Su Mucheng that he will be returning and it really is fine that his old team literally kicked him to the curb. The other is once he is turned away. He seems fine in the first shot, sort of indifferent, while the dark shadow over his eyes in the next panel suggests differently. But he’s not one to complain.

Unexpected comedy shot lol. I appreciate the life in the internet cafe, everyone excited about Glory and the new server haha. In the animation, it was very quiet when he walked in, and they had to 3D animate it.

“As a female Launcher player, Mucheng never stopped smiling even when she blew up her opponent to pieces... It’s actually quite scary when you think about it.”

haha. He’s more expressive in the manhua. It lets you have these cute little musings in between scenes that the animations never have time for.

lol he just goes and hijacks her account. who does that. “the battle started already so I finished it for you. but don’t worry, I won!” that. isn’t the point.

Hi scary demon Ye Xiu! Side note: they’re doing a good job giving the background characters different features.

Also, thanks to not looking at the characters for their names, I keep getting Ye Xiu and Ye Qiu mixed up. I...really need to go find out how it’s written.

Not going to feature all of Chen Guo’s fun expressions, but so far there have been a lot of them and they’re great. (edit for Chen Guo’s name which I derped on and forgot at the time of writing this post. lol the manga doesn’t mention her whole name - Chen Guo - until a few chapters later. I think the other patrons call her ‘Sister Chen’ and the reader finds out her given name when Ye Xiu does. but in the novel, I think the narrative switches over to her at some point, so you find out her full name before Ye Xiu does...)

I love sayings, and how they are so weird when translated literally - Japanese ones are like this, too, because a lot of them are Chinese in origin. My favorite is probably 亀毛兎角.

I hope this is a translation thing because damn, what a way to sugar-coat the truth.

Chapter 2: Since ancient times, how many have returned from war?

I wish I knew the references to classical Chinese poetry/literature, it makes the series 10x more fun when you know the origin of some of their usernames and such.

Ok, overdoing it much, Sun Xiang’s posse? You don’t need to be extra nasty about it to his face.

I always really liked this expression of his reluctance, this human emotion from a guy who looks rather calm and composed (or sheepish, occasionally) most of the time. He takes things in stride, but here you definitely get the bitterness of his situation.

And now he has to laugh it off with a smile! He does a good job of keeping it together throughout this whole deal though.

lol what kind of expression is that. “I like working nights!” why the cat face/ears. why. that was such a quick interview lol.

“Actually, we aren’t lacking people, the advert you saw was from a long time ago.”

That’s...actually, interesting. So Chen Guo is hiring him anyways? Or am I missing something in the translation?

You are a surprisingly funny man, Ye Xiu.

This is me. (it says ‘Verify faster!’)

lol Ye Xiu looking at the beginner’s guide. I never read the instructions though, even for a complicated games I’m new to, I just sort of jump in and hope I don’t die in the first few stages. Pretty sure the only game I had to actually read the instructions for was Final Fantasy Type-0? It’s difficult getting into a good rhythm without reading the in-game tips for that game...plus, some of the more advanced techniques are hard to pull off.

Chapter 3: Don’t laugh at those who lie drunk on the battlefield

If I had time, I’d totally make edits, buuut I do not and photoshop is on my other computer. but when did he get those noodles...?

lol and he just outs himself right on the spot.

That is one dark expression, I love it. The retirement thing is definitely a sore spot for him.

“you’re a professional. but also an amateur.” lol must be so weird to be Ye Xiu

“Don’t fake it, actually you’re not even retired. You didn’t get a spot and got kicked out, right?”

Ouch. Hit it where it hurts, why don’t you. Though she isn’t aware of who he actually is yet. He did indeed get kicked out, and it’s probably worse because he did have a spot previously, he was at the top even.

Starting avatar! I love the character designs in this series, across the animation and manhua.

“Suddenly I miss those games that let people pass through each other!”

HOW COULD THEY WITH SO MANY PEOPLE PLAYING. It reminds me of the Sims flailing their arms because you stuck a cabinet in the wrong spot and they can’t get through.

“Such a civilized way to kill monsters, I’m not used to it.”

“This only happens when a new server opens, you’ll definitely wish you can queue again in the future.”

I really like the side comments. I don’t play multiplayer games, but the comments definitely breathe some life into it.

LOL. “How to endure the shame? I was once known as Glory’s textbook level expert and now I have to use a beginner’s guide to do beginner’s quests.” You can feel his soul dying little by little in these panels...

I love how many titles he earned...”Does no commercials”.

And, of course, him trying to reveal who he actually is, only for her not to believe him.

lol this comment: “It’s so hard to play in first person view!” That’s actually how I feel, I dunno, I mostly play handhelds and older games. I flipped out when I tried to play Final Fantasy: Dirge of Cerberus in first person, before I figured out there was actually a third person view...I’m just really lame when it comes to games, ok.

Ooh, it’s here! The umbrella! What an odd choice of weapon, usually they’re the joke weapons. Well, it’s better than the bus stop sign from Persona 3.

I’ve read spoilers about who this guy standing behind him is, and I am not ready to actually come across that part in the novel.

Side note: I like the avatar’s design better here than in the animation. Wonder if he changes outfit later on...

Chapter 4: Green Forest’s Sleeping Moon

“Let me help you, I’ll give you the drops as well.” “I’m [a] male.” Lol. I really do love these little dialogues.

I also love the usernames, I really am hopeless with it comes to naming things myself.

Hello, Sleeping Moon! I remember you! Sort of.

I love how Ye Xiu totally has a plan going into this, and his thought process is written out. It’s a mundane detail, but I like it. (I’m the type of person who doesn’t read the instructions provided by the game, but will go look everything up online because regardless if I played the game before or not, I like having a Plan when I go into it...I’m impatient, Shadow of the Colossus is the only game I actually take time to explore.)

The two modes of communication for Glory also make it interesting...Both text and audio. It’s fun having both.

haha these drawings have so much life in them

Including these.

Way to look awesome and dramatic with your umbrella in hand.

lol “You planning to advance into a Cleric? Why don’t you just be our caretaker for good?” dying inside, I tell you, dying inside

Knowing the spoilers like I do, THIS ISN’T OKAY. no sad flashback scene so early on. c’mon.

I like how Sleeping Moon keeps talking to him like he’s a newbie, too. It’s pretty funny.

Chapter 5: You reap what you sow

Finally, a chapter title I’m familiar with!

The naaames: Sleeping Moon, Just a Passerby, Not Just Cannon Fodder, Lord Grim, and Fallen Sun

I like ‘Just a Passerby’.

Hey, you even get to say some last words after your HP hits 0 haha.

“Don’t you know that if you die in a dungeon in Glory, you can’t come back?!” lol I’m side-eyeing all the other ‘if you die in the game you die in real life’ stories...

They gave Sleeping Moon some really awesome expressions, gotta say.

“But your acting isn’t at all convincing.” Actually, this is vaguely terrifying.

Also, I appreciate how Ye Xiu is calling him out on this whole plan and how he meant to cheat everyone while Ye Xiu is basically doing the same. haha

I’m not going to screencap it all, but the sequence of the boss slowly killing Sleeping Moon like the cat it is, and Ye Xiu’s reactions, are gold.

The umbrella is also really cool of course.

And here starts the drama on the 10th server! It’s honestly great, and quite true to real life haha. Well, real life can probably be weirder than even fiction...

AAAND that’s finally it! 5 chapters + the 0 chapter done! Oh geez that took forever...Anyway, I love all the little details the manhua can fit in that the animation can’t and I look forward to reading the novel version of these chapters sometime soon.

onward →

1-99

Thanks so much for all the entertainment cutie 💜💙1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?Hmm I think it's pretty equal like a perfect combination of both. I don't like my cereal to be soggy or drown in milk but I also don't like it when it's "too hard" 😂 I like the right amount of crunch though 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?I love it, I really do. Those first few moments of being outside are super refreshing and awakening but after a while of being outside, well my face starts to numb so I don't even feel  the wind anymore hahahaha3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?I can only come up with 2 rn. I've used like tickets from the grocery store, even toilet paper 😂 oh wait I even once used a plastic ruler 4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I like my coffee with milk and 1 sugar cube, my tea either without sugar or 1 sugar cube but that depends on what kind of tea it is. I just don't like it too sweet but I also don't like too bitter so then I'll use 1 cube 🙂 as for the coffee though, I rarely drink regular like I prefer something mocha ish or coconut/bounty from a really good place in Leuven 5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Oh for sure, a little too much probably. I just think it looks weird or ugly. Also because I don't like my teeth, a few years back it was so intense I'd do everything to avoid smiling while showing my teeth. It was ridiculous. I did get over that in the sense that I don't pay attention to it anymore like I'm trying to show my teeth but I do still hate it 6: do you keep plants?Fake ones, orchids and we used to have cacti as well. We don't really do real plants anymore because we forget to water them and then it's just a sad waste. But I do love the fake ones a lot. They look real, brighten up the place and so on 🌵7: do you name your plants?I don't think I ever did 🤔8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?Writing, definitely writing. I've always loved it, the paper doesn't judge yet you get to out what you feel and putting it into words, the mess of thoughts, can really straighten things out. I've been writing ever since I was around 14 so for about 6 years now. I don't do it as much as I used to but I still hold it dear ✒9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Damn right I do!!! I sing and hum whenever I can, like no matter what I'm doing. Goes from cleaning to working for class to walking outside. At home they tell me to shut up though, since apparently my singing sounds like a cat dying ☺ luckily I still have the shower 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?I sleep on my back, side and stomach actually. It just really depends what I'm feeling that evening. Sometimes I can't fall asleep in a certain position and other days I can. It's weird really but I think my all time fav is like half stomach/half back. Also perfectly comfortable for the boobs.... Tmi sorry 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?Oh shit I don't know actually 🤔 hmmm probably how I got the nickname Nuno since it's like something only my friends know of and my man 12: what’s your favorite planet?I actually don't know that much about the planets. But mercury looks beautiful imo so imma go for that one 13: what’s something that made you smile today?I don't think I've smiled today 😂 waaaait no I did, when you sent me that you asked questions and then that you look forward to reading them oh wait a few things you said today made me smile actually 💕14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?It would look modern but cozy and the old touch of it would be respected. There would be fake plants and carpets. Many pictures and art work up against the wall too. The kitchen would have a major rack of spices and herbs. Oh and a balcony with lights 🙂15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!This is a dope one, the skin peeling off feet was pretty cool too though but I chose.....You become taller in Space. Another change to the human body in micro-gravity is that spine straightens out, as gravity is not pushing you down. In fact you can be up to as much as 5cm taller in the Space Station!!!16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?Definitely the pasta Arrabiata, the spice is just mmm 😩17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?I actually already have died my hair in colors I really wanted it to be. I've had red and blonde hair. For now I'm content with my own color but I might definitely change it up again at some point18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.I've done so many dumb and funny things 😂 I am pretty sure the dumbest thing I've done that is always brought up is when me and my friends went on a trip for like a few days and I was drunk during the day, it was hot and we had tequila and what not so everything like worked a lot faster and heavier. But my friends had been flirting with some dudes there so I thought it was good to start cleaning our apartment so they could invite them over hahahaha I was a mess and I was vacuuming the couch that was covered in popcorn from the night before and it was just yeah, I still get laughed at for it 😂19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?I've tried several times to keep an actual journal but for some reason it never really worked so I gave up on it 20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green, it's so special and mesmerizing. I've actually never seen the color irl cause it seems pretty rare and I also don't know many people but I just know and from what I've seen on pictures, it's the most perfect to me 😍21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.It's like an eastpack lookalike for 10 euros, dark brown. I used it for everything. School, vacations, 1 day trips, festivals ... Honestly the quality was so bomb, actually still is cause I bought it a 2nd time 🙂 anyway, it ended up having holes at the bottom of the bag, it was ripping for real. The front pocket turned into a mess of melted throat tablets cause I put it against the heating next to me in class. Never opened it again. There were earphones in that and for some reason a spoon too 😂 I've been careful with it, thrown with it. Everything 22: are you a morning person?I wish I was, like I really wish I could get out of bed easily and start my day but instead I either don't wake up or I do as a zombie and need a lot of snooze moments 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Watch tv series and movies, no doubt about it. It's my way of escaping life and I love it a lot 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Yes there is, you 🙂25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I don't think I've ever broken into a place. Only an abandoned castle but it doesn't have doors so like..... But I've also had to climb through a window at home cause I forgot my key and no one was home so but does that even count idk26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?Rn my black vans but I've only had them for over half a year now so it doesn't really count. However my first pair of vans ever when I was 12 something I wore with everything. They were my all time go to, super comfy and easy to put on. I wore them for years like at some point the side was coming loose and you vould see my socks like with both shoes even and I still wore them 😂 it was horrible, I was attached to them and couldn't let go. My mom had suggested throwing them away a couple of times but I refused. She eventually took matters into her own hands and threw them away. I fished them back and I still have them somewhere.....27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Vanilla mint or peppermint, either really 28: sunrise or sunset?I think both have their own charms really. I can't choose like the sunrise is the start of the day, early in the morning when the world is just waking up while a sunset is when everyone is coming alive. Both colors are vibrant, light up the soul 🌄🌅29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?I don't really know actually. I think it has to be when a friend of mine talks about how much he loves his gf, he absolutely adores her and like it's as if he's in heaven when he talks about her30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Yes, many times actually 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.Oh my... I love socks. I have so many different socks and it's just yes. I love weird socks, I have socks with a cactus on it but also with the brightest colors possible, dots all over or flowers. I had a period of time where I would wear 2 different socks 😂 I'm all about fluffy socks too to wear at home. I sleep with socks when my feet feel like ice cubes and I can't warm them up but halfway through the night I'll get crazy annoyed and take them off. White socks are weird and boring. They make me think of white dads wearing sandals..... 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.Have I ever been awake even after 3 with friends hahahahah oh wait I know. We were all asleep but I woke up once and found myself in like my own drool for some reason and I went like "oh fuck" so I moved my ass and made it seem like it wasn't from me just in case anyone would see it 😳33: what’s your fave pastry?Hmmm I love so many tbh. I think one of my favs is the one with frangipane in the middle like that shit is to die for. If they have it, guaranteed I'll pick that one 🤤34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I actually didn't have a stuffed animal, at least my fav wasn't one. I carried around a pillow case. My mom used to work at night and I couldn't fall asleep so my dad took my mom's used pillow case and put me to sleep with it. I never let it go again. It was white with blue stripes and I still have it. As for a stuffed animal, I did have one actually, called Stippel. A ladybug hahaha. I might still have it somewhere35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I do like those but never use them, I only use really simple and cheap pens because I don't write much anymore 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Hmm maybe A Day to Remember. Nothing too cheery but powerful or Papa Roach, same thing37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?I like keeping it clean but rarely do so actually. Laziness gets the best of me 🙄38: tell us about your pet peeves!I think people desperately fishing for compliments is one and another is people making comments about another person's appearance. In the sense that it's often rude and with disregard of their feelings or the possible effects of it. I have more I think but these 2 come to mind right away 39: what color do you wear the most?Grey/black, I do try to wear more color since I've started to like that more and appreciate it too. However my closet is still mostly dark 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?I have a pair of earrings, cherries. My brother got them for me when I was younger, thought they looked cute and chose them for me. If I remember it right he even paid for it with the money he got for like birthdays etc so I cherish them dearly 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?That has to be "My favorite mistake", it's one of the last ones I remember reading. It's a really nice love story and also has a lot to do with letting your walls down and letting someone special in 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!I do actually, it's in Leuven. It's super tiny but it has like fake plants all over it and the front is entirely made of glass. There's a little bar and people can use iPads there. They have the best coffee I ever had tbh. Like so many special kinds too. They also have fresh smoothies and juices, along with a variety of tea43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?My mom hahahaha 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?I actually don't remember a moment like that, things have been too much lately. Even in my sleep I haven't felt at peace 45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I never do actually or at least not a lot. I always think I'm wrong about everything and jusy have very little faith in myself and my abilities46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.I clogged the toilet, it was a shitty situation. I need to go to hell I swear 😂😂😂47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Lobster and goose liver, both include torture so I'm against it heavily. Have never and will never eat it 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Probably the dark and being abandoned so yes both are still the same hahaha 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I do like it actually and there's something very classy about records, I just love it. Hope to own one myself one day, a recordplayer. The last one I bought was for my mom actually, of Oscar and the wolf50: what’s an odd thing you collect?Screenshots ☺ hahahaha no idk I collected Little Petshop animals as a kid, Me to You bears and I still collect gems so 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Robin Schulz & Richard Judge - Show me love 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Oh the couple one where the guy looks at the 2nd girl and then the uh Joe Biden ones too idk many really 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?I've unfortunately never watched any of those but they are all on my list to watch actually, all classics and I love those 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?My mom's yesterday after leaving my dog at the vet.. She teared up badly55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?I don't think I've ever done something truly dramatic to prove a point really 🤔 I don't recall anything at least56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- An amazing sense of humor- Listening skills- Care for animals- Adventure oriented- Respecting, being real- Honesty- ... 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Hahahahaha this song always gets to me and does make me dramatically reenact the lyrics.  I once sang this one with friends and we filmed it, tried to make our own music video on it. It was a flop for sure but we had the best time58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?Jolien is the wine mom, also because she has a glass of wine often and I'm definitely the vodka aunt, it's me 😇 59: what’s your favorite myth?"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." - Plato 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I love poetry, I've been quite busy with it myself at some point. I think Shakespeare's sonnets are some of my favs along With Edgar Allan Poe's. Both are true geniuses 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?I don't know if I've ever given a stupid gift, not to brag but I always go for something personal. Pick up on the things people mention and get them something like that so they're never really disappointed and also don't consider their gifts stupid. As for the stupidest I've ever received, I have no idea again. I'd say something like underwear but I actually love getting that so 🤷‍♀️ hahahaha 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I don't actually 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?My music I don't have organized, unless it's like a file on my laptop but my books are definitely all nicely put on their shelve and in a way that it goes from like the biggest book to the smallest 😂 so I'm not that strict but I also don't like for them to be in any other order than that so 64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Dark dark daaaaark blue. It's almost midnight so65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?No one actually, I'm fine on my own and don't feel the need to hang out with anyone whatsoever66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Pretty simple, faded pink with white or either bright/dark red with white. I think those are beautiful colors67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?I love it even though it also scares me. It feels idk empty but like a peaceful kind, like the world has stopped spinning for a bit and you can really take a deep breath 68: what’s winter like where you live?It snows for like 3 days, the whole country is in panic. The ER is flooded, car accidents everywhere. The trains stop working and the busses don't show up. The rest is rain and cold 😂69: what are your favorite board games?Hmm monopoly, "mens erger je niet" (sorry don't know the English translation) and yahtzee 70: have you ever used a ouija board?No never and even though I'm curious, I'm also way too scared to try it because I believe in ghosts/spirits so much71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?Something forest fruit ish, it's perfect really. But I love many kinds. Citrus and red fruits, apple/cinnamon, earl grey, ...72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?I definitely have to note things down but even that I often forget 😂 my organizing skills are uh not so present 73: what are some of your worst habits?Acting very childish is the worst one for sure. Aside from that leaving things messy and procrastinating are my other worst ones. Trying to work on all, bit by bit but old and bad habits die hard 😕74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns./ these are weird questions75: tell us about your pets!Vinkie: he's a bird that fell out of the nest into our garden but with the cats living here he would've quickly died so we took him in and took care of him, fed him and he's been with us for over 5 years now. Singing to us 🙂Whisper: he's an agapornis, mini parrot. He's something else. He makes a loooot of noise so his name is quite ironic. He has a big ass cage where he flies and climbs around in. Whenever there's music on he will whistle along. He jumps up when we walk by too fast but when the cat is sitting next to his cage he'll try to grab their tails 😂 same for the dogs.....Chanel: she's a rescue dog from Greece. She came to us as a foster but we all, my brother mostly, got attached to her so we decided to keep her. She's really smart, she knows how to open doors and even flip the keys. She follows her nose wherever it takes her, even if that means jumping over a 1m50 gate and take herself for a walk. We run after her nearly daily but she's a sweetheart. She adores to cuddle and is extremely soft. She's also made of elastic and has a crazy flexibilityIdéfix: my little man. Tossed in a dumpster in a plastic bag, comes from Spain. He's a real cutie, will do whatever to be able to be close to me and lie on my lap. He's also a little bastard that knows exactly how to jump on the table, dressoir, chairs and garden table. He snores and sighs like the cutest. He loves fruit and even pickles Sky: she's a cane corso, big girl. But a real sweety too. She loves cuddles and if she could then she would get on my lap as well which she actually does. She uses her size to her advantage to sit on top of Idéfix to get his spot. She drools like crazy when waiting for her food. She adores snow and waterAtalo: the boss at home. He's Idéfix's best friend. He's a very loyal dog, sometimes stubborn asf though. He is very gentle and will always take a treat with his tongue and not his teeth. He watches over his pack like a real guard dog and when crying he will wipe the tears away. He comes from Greece Lucky: we took her home with us when we went on a trip to Greece. She was only 2 weeks old and we bottle fed her. She's a real badass. She will smack me to let me know she needs food and she yells to get inside or go outside. She like sleeping under blankets close to whoever she's sharing the bed withJoy: she's a bully, she will slap the others when they walk by and she bites everyone who pets her but asks to be pet. She's a little fatty and looks really funny when she runs. Occasionaly she gets on my lap for cuddlesKyoko: I can carry her around like a baby and she will attack when I try to put her down cause she doesn't want that. She's really sweet and tries to cuddle with the dogs when they're near her. She does kinda live at the back of the house cause the rest is too busy for her 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?I guess summarizing but I wanted to take a break so I guess I don't have to do anything rn and can answer these questions to keep myself entertained and distracted 77: pink or yellow lemonade?Yellow well or orange 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Fanclub, they're fucking adorable and clumsy. I get why some might get annoyed by the little guys but I mean come on, they're just animated movie characters like the fuss was a bit too extreme 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?The person I love most has done many cute things for me. Took a picture of 2 flowers that reminded him of us. But he also writes stories, one in particular about Poppy and Wormy which warmed my heart. His entire presence is the cutest thing ever to me 🍅80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?They're dark brown, light green and cream color. I chose all because of their earthly tones and idk I like having warm, calming tones. Green also used to be my absolute fav color 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of./ again really odd and I don't even remember their eyes..... Woops 82: are/were you good in school?I used to be in elementary, then started slacking once high school started. Got better again, started slacking again. Graduated high school, barely. Then dropped out of uni and trying to make it in college rn so we'll see how "good" I am once the exams have passed83: what’s some of your favorite album art?/84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?I'm not planning on anything, even though I'm always thinking of it because of the love I have for tattoos but rn idk, I need to be more sure before I can say I have an actual idea. I want it to be meaningful but also not mainstream85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I don't hahaha, I'd love to one day though 86: do you like concept albums? which ones?I'm pretty sure idek what those are. Lemme google real quick, ok do I don't know any but the idea seems really cool to me 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Every single Disney classic obviously. But also uhm 🤔 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Is Banksy a movement? 🤔 cause then yes, aside from that I really have no idea how to interpret this question so please bare with my stupidity 89: are you close to your parents?I am really close with my mom, a lot more distant with my dad but it's okay90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.Venice; it's so dreamy there. It's almost unreal like the lives are so different there. The streets are made out of water most of the time, everything goes by boat or on foot. It's so beautiful like the buildings are really something else, incredible architecture. Very colorful and the little gardens here and there brighten it up. But also the squares are super cozy, benches and trees everywhere, surrounded by houses. When I went there it was raining so everyone was walking around with all different kinds of umbrellas, in the small streets there was the occasional bump and hair drag. I loved the small stores, they sell beautiful masks there that made me dream of a masked ball. And the food, my god the food 😩91: where do you plan on traveling this year?Nowhere unfortunately hahaha but it's okay, have many more years to come so I can wait 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?When I was little I didn't want aaaaaany cheese on my pasta and at this point in my life I prefer to drown my pasta in it. Just the way it melts ugh fuck it's perfect 🍝🧀93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Loose hair, sometimes a ponytail or a bun 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My mom, the 17th of December 😍🎉🎈95: what are your plans for this weekend?Studying my ass off for the upcoming exams that I'm extremely anxious about but oh well, can't escape it.... Unfortunately 🙄96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?The last update I procrastinated for nearly 3 months.... So you tell me HAHAHAHA I know it takes hours and usually when I'm on my laptop, I really need it right then and there so it sucks and then I forget. The update took 4 hours so, you get it 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?Myer Briggs type: INFPZodiac sign: Aquarius Hogwarts house: I like to believe I'm Gryffindor 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?I can't remember the last time I went hiking, I think it's been almost 2 years, yes something like that. When I went to Italy in 201699: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- Tell me you love me by Demi Lovato- I'll be good by Jaymes Young - Love the way you lie by Rihanna & Eminem- OK by Robin Schulz & James Blunt- Praying by Kesha- High hopes by Kodaline.... I love you 💙

All of them

3 Fears3 things I love2 turns on2 turns offMy best friendSexual orientationHow tall am IWhat do I miss right nowFavourite colorDo I have a crush ^ already answered these

Favourite place

my room of the senior lounge in my school

What am I listening to right now

a davenchurch playlist (current song: Something I Need- One Republic) 

Shoe size

9-10 womens

Eye color

brown and gold

Hair color

ALSO brownish-gold

Meaning behind my URL

haha Fenton called me a walking paradox as a joke and it stuck!

Favourite song

literally dont have one but im currently loving “Waving Through a Window” from the dear evan hanson soundtrack

Favourite band

either panic! at the disco or fall out boy

How I feel right now

absolutely awful but you sending this completely boosted my mood!! 

Someone I love

oh sweet jesus, Fenton and Ellie and Pear and Cade and Vinny and Dylan and Sydney and Daffy and Simon and Nico and Jayme and Kiwi and Arily and this is going overboard but i cannot hold all my love in

My current relationship status

painfully single and desperately needing to get laid

My relationship with my parents

no

Favourite season

fall

Tattoos and piercing i have

none, unfortunately 

Tattoos and piercing i want

a septum piercing, 1mm gauges, a second piercing, an outer ear ring, sleeve tats of intertwining roses and dandelions, magnus’ railsplitter somewhere (im still deciding on where..) 

The reasons I joined Tumblr

all my middle school friends had it

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not anymore

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

i kissed my dad before 

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

cosmetically? five minutes max

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?

unfortunately i did yesterday  

Where am I right now?

at my desk, sitting on pile of laundry im neglecting 

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

i like it quiet

Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

both, but unhappily 

Am I excited for anything?

death, also graduation i guess

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

my friends Cade and Dylan are good buddies 

How often do I wear a fake smile?

….. next question

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

the mcelroys, specifically travis 

What do I think about most?

not to be dark but death 

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

neither, but behind if i have to be

What was the last lie I told?

“no mom i totally bought this”

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

i dont do either v much but i really like vids when i can get them

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes (i saw three ghosts in my life)

Do I believe in magic?

hell yeah

Do I believe in luck?

mostly

What’s the weather like right now?

clear night skies with a slight fall nip in the air

What was the last book I’ve read?

animal farm by george orwell 

Do I have any nicknames?

M.K., M, Loaf

Do I spend money or save it?

both? 

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nope!

Favourite animal?

hgnnnnn cant choose, maybe sharks?

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

sleeping 

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Hips Dont Lie! 

What is my favorite word?

bludgeoning because im a nerd 

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

CUT THE CRAP AND LEARN TO LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE GOD DAMN IT

Do I have any relatives in jail?

i deadass dont talk to my family but im p sure one of my cousins was arrested last week 

What is my current desktop picture?

that picture of the sloth photoshopped on a dolphin with the P!NK lyrics

Had sex?

B)

Bought condoms?

no

Gotten pregnant?

oh god no

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

no but my first kiss with a boy i got sprayed on at a waterpark 

Had job?

im a partime paralegal 

Smoked weed?

yep

Smoked cigarettes?

for a long ass time in middle school (if im bein real honest im going to pic it back up again probably)

Drank alcohol?

ya

Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

definetly not

Been overweight?

currently am

Been underweight?

when i was born

Gotten my heart broken?

plenty of times

Been to prom?

yes

Been in airplane?

oh yeah, i love flying

Learned another language?

took spanish for 10+ years and dont know a damned word of it 

Wore make up?

ye

Dyed my hair?

no but i really want to 

Had a surgery?

yes! some work on my ear after i fucked it up as a baby

Met someone famous?

a band called After Romeo 

Stalked someone on a social network?

i tend to go through social media when i find new accounts i like but its never stalkerish 

Been fishing?

got the license and everything

Been rejected by a crush?

yea, ive only ever had one crush where it panned out 

What do I want for birthday?

a binder 

Do I like my handwriting?

no

Where do I want to live when older?

idk, im praying i dont end up back in vegas

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

got caught reading awful porn once does that count

What I’m really bad at

ohh im really holding back on saying “everything” but if i had to choose wind instruments 

What my greatest achievments are

my art, my relationships, my baby handling skills

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

ill give you the second worse: “ well at least being a fattass made you bouncy”

What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy a house, get a super crazy nice computer, give some money to the friends listed up earlier on the list and draw for all eternity 

What do I like about myself

my eyes and my good heart and my ability to fake good things

My closest Tumblr friend

oh definitely Fenton or @whyldkratts

Any question you’d like?

feel free to send in your own question! 

Are you outgoing or shy?

yes

What kind of people are you attracted to?

soft bellies, thick legs and hips, nice pecs, soft long hair, nice lips

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

idk maybe? i hope so, yall can feel free to make the first move ;3

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

no, i actually like it! 

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my buddy Cade

What does the most recent text that you sent say?

ok

What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Something I Need, Michel in the Bathroom, For Forever, Waving Through a Window, and Freeze Your Brain 

Do you like it when people play with your hair?

oh yes!! please play with my hair!!! ((and playing with OTHER peoples hair??? oh boy howdy dont even get me started!!!!))

Do you think there is life on other planets?

hell yes! 

Do you like bubble baths?

sure, no real pref either way

Do you like your neighbors?

NOPE

Where would you like to travel?

yes!

Favorite part of your daily routine?

sleep

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

*sweats* yes?? (probably my boobs and stomach, also my arms)

What do you do when you wake up?

stare at the ceiling and mentally prepare myself for the day

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

darker, it lost a lot of melinin when i hit puberty for some reason??

Do you ever want to get married?

yes! even if its just a platonic life partner marriage! 

If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yep

Would you rather live without TV or music?

telivision my man

Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

yep! one time it went to shit the other time it went fairly ok

What are your favorite stores to shop in?

target and hot topic

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

normally yes but you gotta kno when to get the hell away from certain folks

Do you smile at strangers?

sometimes

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

OH yeaaah

Ever wished you were someone else?

every god damned day

Favourite makeup brand?

cheap 

Last thing you ate?

mashed potatoes

Ever won a competition? For what?

won a college science fair in middle school once 

Ever been in love?

im always in love

Facebook or Twitter?

twitter always (pst mines @emiglody95

Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr 

Are you watching tv right now?

no

What colour are your towels?

beige and brown 

Favourite ice cream flavour?

cookie dough or coffee 

First person you talked to today?

my mother or Ellie i can remember 

Last person you talked to today?

Pear or my day, again i cant remember 

Name a person you hate?

Prestly, Kevin, Zoe, Mike

Name a person you love?

hmm ive already listed a lot of people already so lets go with: Wilson

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

remember Kevin from two asks ago? 

Do you tan a lot?

im outside a lot but my tan is mostly natural 

Have any pets?

my dog, Gus! 

Do you type fast?

yes actually!! 

Do you regret anything from your past?

im not lookin to type a paragraph so lets go with yes

Ever broken someone’s heart?

yeah,, 

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

every day

Is cheating ever okay?

no, but if your partner got seriously fucked up and it was a total accident and you trust them then MAYBE you can reconsider not throwing their asses out

Do you believe in true love?

to an extent 

What your zodiac sign?

leo! 

Do you believe in ghosts?

id better ive seen three of ‘em

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“ Its fine”, she said primly as she turned back to the trays of jewelry. 

Madoka: Rebellion

So I finally watched Madoka: Rebellion because some people insisted I would actually like it and have my concerns about its awfulness addressed if I watched it.

These people were badly mistaken.

Massive spoilers, of course.

As with my FoZ notes, [bracketed text] is notes I added in after the original writing, taking into account information from later in the movie.

---------------------

So wait, in Fixed-Verse, anyone can Witch out? (Yes I know they're called 'Nightmares' now. You know what I see? SUPER WITCHES) WHAT THE FUCK MADOKA. [We’re not actually seeing fixed-verse, so it’s not as dumb as I thought]

It took more than fifteen minutes for the plot to start going anywhere.

What is Kyoko doing in the same school in the same year as Madoka and Sayaka? She's more Mami's peer, so even if she was going to the same school she should be in a year above. THIS IS NOT HOW CAUSALITY FUCKERY WORKS. [”But Ghoul Tyrant!” I hear you say. “It’s supposed to be wrong like that because It’s All Just A Dream!” Sure. Fine. And Kyoko is still in their school in their year at the end of the movie because?...]

Oh: and of course we have 'fanservice'. Kill me. [It’s far, far more common than these notes might lead you to believe, as I was not going to note down every goddamn individual instance]

… why are the transformations in the Witch art style? (With a million panty shots fuck everything forever) I note we get a split-second Witch-word cut during Sayaka's one. Then Homura's did a Witch-word cut with, like, silent film surroundingness. Twice. [Taking into account later events, this is actually somewhat competent foreshadowing]

… they call themselves the 'holy quintet'? Really?

THE WITCH IS EL KABONG I INSTANTLY FORGIVE... some... of the horribleness.

Why are we doing the Cake Song. [Knowing what’s actually going on doesn’t make this any more sensical] Why are we 25 minutes in and I still have no clue what's going on?

It took thirty minutes for Kyoko to actually eat and talk at the same time. Kill her now, Homura, she's clearly a pod person!

“I came, I saw, Mitakihara”. Cute.

FINALLY, not quite 40 minutes in we get Homura going “I remember the past, no one else does”. No, sorry, the scenery porn wasn't interesting enough to hold me for the first third of the movie.

I keep wondering if the extreme closeups on Homura are supposed to look like Witch art style as a hint or if it's a coincidence they failed to notice. [At this point I’m pretty sure it’s an ill-thought-out coincidence, as they also do it with Madoka’s eyes at times]

Goddammit, no, punching a button in timestop shouldn't un-timestop the windows. And what kind of lunatic would design windows so high up to open like that at the push of a button anyway? [Answer: Homura, apparently]

The thing that's crazy-making about Fake Mitakihara City is that the real thing is such an insane collage of nonsensical and/or improbable architecture that what parts are “crazy because Labyrinth” and what parts are “crazy because Mitakihara City” is difficult to parse. So when weirdness is supposed to be a hint... er... how am I supposed to tell?

Okay, so I thought Mami and Homura's mega fight sequence was pretty dumb when I happened to watch it in isolation on Youtube, but now I know how it starts, and it goes from “dumb” to 'Dumb with a side helping of the Idiot Version of Just As Keikaku.” [Why did Mami have an invisible ribbon on Homura when she timestopped? What made her that paranoid about Homura? Oh, you wanted your story to make basic sense? You poor fool, you’re watching Rebellion. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here, because there’s no fucking quality or sense here. Ever]

Wait, why did I just hear a Pokeball release sound? [Charlotte made it]

Let me expand on this fight sequence being dumb: I thought it was... like, occurring in a post-apocalyptic town or something, when I watched it on Youtube. Okay, sure, now I know Homura thinks everything is fake so WHOO COLLATERAL DAMAGE GO! So... why's Mami recklessly tearing apart everything, beyond “it looks cool shut the fuck up and enjoy our five billion yen lightshow”? Also, why did Homura re-initiate timestop, given it does nothing to help her in this (utterly retarded) fight? And frankly the choreography is awful, as you spend the first half with no way to get a coherent idea of what's actually happening beyond that they're Shooting At Each Other A Lot. The second half is easier to follow, but makes even less sense as a fight scene, with the bit where they keep trying and failing to shoot each other in the head from point-blank being probably the best example of how Cool But Nonsensical Shit is happening because fuck you enjoy the spectacle!

It was neat to break up the monotony the first... five or so times we were viewing people through reflections or whatever. At this point I'm starting to think whoever headed the art of this movie had an actual psychological problem, though.

I would like for events to at some point progress because the characters make some kind of sense and are working toward actual goals, rather than spouting cryptic nonsense or fighting or whatever because lol. Kyoko and Homura trying to leave the city and it failing is so far the only time anybody has done anything that really made sense.

Dog drug reinforcement? The fuck, crazyland DDR?

Okay, I'll admit, the bus slamming into the ground out of the sky got a laugh out of me. Good on you Rebellion. I legitimately liked... a 0.5 second sequence. I'm over an hour in. Congrats.

No, I'm sorry. This “Isolation Field” bullshit doesn't explain jack. It's a copout. “We're supersciencers, ergo we can make a field that blocks out what amounts to a god and/or law of physics.” No. A million trillion times no. This isn't even a lampshade, as the movie clearly intends for me to take this nonsense seriously.

Oh, and it's one-way! Except when it isn't! Hold up, stop, even if I accept this utter and total bullshit, it fails under the weight of its own bad writing anyway. Who would Homura invite in first? Madoka, you utterly godawful writer. Who is 'the Law of Cycles'? Fucking Madoka. Fail. Terrible. Nonsense. I don't have words for how much I hate this crap.

No, saying “well, you see, Madoka could only come in as a victim and not as the semi-omnipotent Law of Cycles” via Kyubey is not an explanation. Kyubey doesn't know shit. He knows he doesn't know shit, or else he wouldn't be doing the fucking experiment! So having him make random baseless assertions the audience is supposed to accept without question doesn't fucking work because we know he doesn't know that for a fact. In the anime, we could accept that he was an authority figure/expert because he was talking about shit that had been occurring for thousands of years, and it only really broke down once Madoka made her wish and Kyubey was suddenly just the writer talking directly to Homura/the audience, at which point I could basically pretend he's just the most convenient voice actor to play the role or some such vaguely reasonable crap.

Here though, we have several essential plotpoints simultaneously hinging on “I am ignorant! SCIENCE TIME!” that are then being explained by him with “I know everything. Trust me.”

No. This is like the definition of bad writing, and nothing prior to this point has gotten me invested enough in the story to overlook what a colossal fail this is on every level.

One hour and fifteen minutes in, with 40 minutes left to go. The remaining 40 minutes better be the best shit I have ever seen. [Spoiler: Not even slightly]

THIS IS NOT HOW SCIENCE WORKS ON ANY LEVEL. “We don't know this thing exists. It has clearly observable effects, which we know for sure are happening, albeit we don't know its actual mechanism” is what Kyubey should be saying. Not “Oh man this 'law of cycles' thing is a mere hypothesis with no evidence!” I hate this movie.

Kyubey: “Gosh darn all you illogical people.” ← the most illogical being in the universe in this movie.

Now, I'd like to like that we're watching a Witch attacking someone with the Witch as the protagonist, except so far it's been lame and primarily been an excuse to draw Weird Symbolic Shit. There's bits that I like... but only bits. And what the hell is with Kyubey just reappearing somewhere nearby each time he 'dies'?

Okay, I like Kyubey being freaked out by Sayaktavia. Congrats, two times I've actually liked a tiny fraction of the movie.

Sidenote: imagine that every third line or so I instead said SUICIDE METAPHOR INTENSIFIES. Yes, really. [The original anime was kind of bad about its suicide metaphor subtext not being very sub. The movie is far, far more blatant]

GAME OVER. RETURN OF GANON RISE OF HOMURA

So why exactly is the movie condemning Homura rewriting reality to... do... something... vs praising Madoka for rewriting reality to do away with Witches? What has Homura even done that is so contemptible? Why am I supposed to agree with this awful narrative? Oh no, her wish was ‘selfish’ vs Madoka heroically sacrificing herself for the benefit of everyone. And? Has anyone actually had their life made worse? What has she even done, beyond bring Madoka back into humanity and rewrite history to flip some things around? I mean, she even says she intends to destroy all the Wraiths! She’s doing something noble, for sure, so, again: why am I supposed to conflate her with Satan?

And why am I supposed to care, given nothing at any point made even dreamlogic sense?

Also, Kyoko is still in their goddamn class in the 'real world'.

This movie is dumb. This movie is just “look, a bunch of artists were given billions of yen to draw whatever they wanted, and then I guess some writer tried to pretend it made sense?” If you want to watch visually interesting stuff and never, ever have it make any kind of sense -okay, occasionally make some symbolic sense- then okay cool this is a decent movie.

Otherwise?

What the fuck this movie is awful.

Okay: the stinger ending having Homura dancing to Kyubey's corpse? Made me laugh. Seeing Kyubey horrified? Also made me laugh. CONGRATS FOUR WHOLE MOMENTS I KIND OF ENJOYED IN THIS HOUR AND FIFTY-EIGHT MINUTES.

THAT'S LIKE MORE THAN A MOMENT OF NOT-AWFUL EVERY THIRTY MINUTES.

--------------------------

Having slept on it, I've realized I have still more criticisms.

Audio: Back in the anime, I wasn't necessarily a fan of how any given episode used the music available to it, but the music was fantastic on average. I actually had one of the credits/Witch battle tunes as my background music for reading for a while there, that's how good they were on their own. Rebellion continues the trend of putting its music to questionable use, only now the music itself is fairly forgettable and boring. The best stuff tends to be riffing on established 'Madoka music', and even then it's merely okay, not actually engaging in its own right.

I touched upon this indirectly when covering the Mami/Homura fight, but the choreography is weaker in general. The anime had its weak moments, but it also had some great moments, like how it handled Homura's “teleportation”. Rebellion is just... weak, other than it's occasional questionable 'gotcha' moments.

After the Mami/Homura fight, Sayaka swoops in to save Homura and jabber at her a bunch. This is not any kind of natural flow of events, it just sort of happens without an actual explanation. I didn't like the scene when I was watching the movie, but I was sort of half-expecting it to make sense somewhere down the line, particularly with Sayaka indicating she's more in the know than she 'should' be, but no, it just... is a thing that happens, because.

Similarly, why is Charlotte Bebe the only Witch to act as Goddoka's right-hand woman aside from the bizarre case of Sayaka apparently being able to... tap her Witch powers?... even though Madoka's wish prevented Witches from occurring in the first place? What is any of this crap?

Why was Homura able to entrap a 'piece' of Goddoka at all?

If the Incubator's retarded Isolation Field blocked out all outside forces, why does gravity apply? Why does light apply? Why does, you know, myriad physics apply? Oh right I'm applying critical thinking to a retarded plot device. How foolish of me to expect the story to make even the slightest bit of sense. I might then be able to derive some enjoyment from the movie, and that would clearly be a mission fail.

I just. I have no idea why there are people who watched this movie and went “This is a good movie and I enjoyed it” instead of “This is a terrible movie on pretty much every level and I will make sure everyone everywhere forever knows it isn't worth watching even if you're a fan of Madoka.”

I have difficulty imagining it even if I turned my brain off and just took in the wacky art. I have difficulty imagining anyone, anywhere, deriving any enjoyment from it at all in any manner ever.

But people have, somehow.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1-170

Oh dang. Okay I’ll have them answered underneath the cut! 

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

-I’d at least like to be 5′5

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

-Real I would like a husky cause they’re adorable, but for a mythological one I’d love a dragon cause why not, right? 

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

-Gosh, well that’s a bit hard. I don’t really know the names for clothing styles, but I guess an example could be some jeans and a t-shirt, nothing too fancy with a beanie.That’s just the casual look. Or I could say an actual style like steampunk which I adore since it’s so different! 4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

-Sonic the hedgehog is something for sure. 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

-1. My family 2. How things are in other parts of the world and what could happen if something changed 3. Friends 

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

-”Warning: I could seem intimidating or just seem like a total weirdo, but do not mistake me just for another person. There’s a lot more about me than you’d expect” 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

-I don’t really know how to answer this so how about mainstream stuff?

One thing that bugs me is when people talk about others in a rude way for being “strange”,”weird”,”ugly” (nothing I’ve heard personally for myself, I’m just talking on a neutral standard level here), etc. and the people saying these things wear some sort of shirt saying “I’m just a type of crazy” sorta shirt. Like, you’re saying all these rude things, but you wear those shirts yet don’t even know what it’s reflecting on just being “weird is the new cool” in a sense. I don’t know, it’s just a thought.8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

-Just did a test and it says I’m Phlegmatic. Surprisingly, it fits really well. 9: Are you ticklish?

-Maybe.10: Are you allergic to anything?

-Nope.11: What’s your sexuality?

-Straight/Heterosexual12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

-I prefer tea, but I don’t mind cocoa. And for coffee, I prefer it iced.13: Are you a cat or dog person?

-Both. But I prefer dogs since I’m used to them more.14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

-Elf. Vampire sounds interesting, but I want to be out in the sun too. And merperson isn’t my type. Elf would be something interesting and a variety.15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

-Hm, I don’t watch a lot of youtubers to be a big fan, but I do like to watch Markiplier’s videos when I can!16: How tall are you?

-5′3 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

-Wouldn’t know. I don’t really think my name now doesn’t fit me well either. Lol I’m one of those oddballs in a group. At least I think so. I like unique names that you don’t hear often, so my name doesn’t help me with that at all. 18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

-We’re just gonna leave this blank.19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

-Yes I do.20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

-Space even though the ocean has yet to have more discoveries.21: Are you religious?

-In a sense that I have a  religion, yes.22: Pet peeves?

-Gosh I know I have some, but nothing that’s coming to mind.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

-Diurnal.24: Favorite constellation?

-Little dipper.25: Favorite star?

-Not really. Unless you count the northern star.26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

-I don’t like dolls in total.27: Any phobias or fears?

-Dolls, being betrayed, dying, losing everything and everyone I cared for, feeling nothing, etc.28: Do you think global warming is real?

-It is. It’s sad people are ignoring or denying it, but it’s there. Just because you(I’m saying those who oppose it’s not true) don’t feel the affects, it doesn’t mean others aren’t either.29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

-I do. 30: Favorite movie?

-District 9 or The Little Prince31: Do you get scared easily?

-Not really, but it’s possible.32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

-About 11? I used to have chihuahuas because of my grandma and her dogs and I used to have a bunch of birds, but they flew away somehow when the cage was open. 

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

-Can’t answer this since there’s no blog.34: What is a color that calms you?

-Blue. It’s a calming color indeed and just looking up at the sky and the clouds when in time of stress just relieves time itself and feels as if it just slowed down just for you to look at the clouds.35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

-I’d like to stay in California, but would like to go upstate. Knowing my personal business right now, I wouldn’t see that much happening anytime soon. Though I’d like to travel to Australia, Japan, and Chicago.36: Where were you born?

-Somewhere in SoCal.37: What is your eye color?

-A really dark brown. They used to be completely black but that changed overtime. 38: Introvert or extrovert?

-Ambivert. So meaning sorta both. Maybe more of an Introvert now.39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

-I like them for fun. Do I always believe them? To a certain point, no. Sometimes it’s for comfort or my own use.40: Hugs or kisses?

-Hugs. 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

-Not at the moment, no.42: Who is someone you love deeply?

-I’ll rephrase it as someone I care for as my little sis.43: Any piercings you want?

-Nah, though if I had to, just like another on an ear.44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

-I was never allowed to usually even wear the fake ones as a kid lol Well sometimes I did, but still. However, although I like the designs at times, no, not for myself at least.45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

-Nope. The scent is horrible.46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

-Tall person, mostly a silent type at first.47: What is a sound you really hate?

-Garbage trucks in the morning.48: A sound you really love?

-The sound of rain.49: Can you do a backflip?

-Lol heck no.50: Can you do the splits?

-I don’t feel like breaking anything so no.51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

-Don’t have one.52: Favorite movie?

-There’s two questions just as the same..? I’ll just put it again. District 9 and Little Prince53: How are you feeling right now?

-Tired, but alright.54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

-I like my hair color but it would be cool to have it completely black and some blue highlights on the tips.55: When did you feel happiest?

-I’m not sure.56: Something that calms you down?

-Drawing, reading, listening to music, writing57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

-Never checked so I don’t think so.

58: What does your URL mean?

-I put it as my own definition so that it’s: different and that there’s always options and pathways to everything59: What three words describe you the most?

-Weird, creative,strange60: Do you believe in evolution?

-Yes.61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

-Less activity over a long period of time or sometimes now inappropriate things on there62: What makes you follow a blog?

-If it’s something that interests me like art, memes, and tutorials63: Favorite kind of person:

-Someone kind, interesting, different from how others I see usually are64: Favorite animal(s):

-Panda, raccoon, red panda, wolf65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

- @silvur-trash @krystalia-productions @mangofritter66: Favorite emoticon:

-Don’t have one.67: Favorite meme:

-I’ve been loving these videos lately: https://alternativesaga.tumblr.com/post/15751787827868: What is your MBTI personality type?

-Last time I checked I was INFP69: What is your star sign?

-Libra70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

-Sometimes when he’s not being a butt.71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

-Some black jeans and a random t-shirt with my black Route 66 sweater.72: Post a selfie or two?

-HAHAHA no not today 73: Do you have platform shoes?

-What are those??74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

-I’m a lefty75: Can you do a front flip?

-Heck no lol76: Do you like birds?

-Yep.77: Do you like to swim?

-Heck yeah, when it’s summer of course.78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

-Swimming is fun. Ice skating I’m REALLY a beginner, so I guess swimming.79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

-Segregation based on looks or class.80: Something you wish did exist:

-Don’t know.81: Piercings you have?

-None.82: Something you really enjoy doing:

-Drawing.83: Favorite person to talk to:

-I don’t just have one haha84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

-A complicated, but sophisticated website. Whoops.85: How many followers do you have?

-220.86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

-Last time I checked, it was 11 minutes.87: Do your socks always match?

-Yeah when I find all the pairs.88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

-Yep.89: What are your birthstones?

-Opal and Tourmaline.90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

-Panda or raccoon91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

-Wouldn’t know.92: A store you hate?

-Don’t know.93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

-Never tried to figure it out so I don’t know.94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

-Read minds.95: Do you like to wear camo?

-Eh, not really my type, but I wouldn’t mind it.96: Winter or summer?

-WINTER97: How long can you hold your breath for?

-45 sec-1 minute.98: Least favorite person?

-Don’t have one.99: Someone you look up to:

-My parents.100: A store you love?

-Hot Topic 101: Favorite type of shoes

- I just wear what I have.102: Where do you live?

-California103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

-I’m none of those. 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

-Is it bad if I say I forgot the name? haha105: Do you drink milk?

-Yep.106: Do you like bugs?

-I don’t really mind them, but what I really despise is maggots107: Do you like spiders?

-Mostly, no I don’t.108: Something you get paranoid about?

-Sudden sounds that appear out of silence.109: Can you draw:

-Doesn’t have an option as to what, but I do draw.110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

-Oh gosh, well I’m not going to mention that here.111: A question you hate being asked?

-I don’t really mind questions, so I don’t really have an input. It really depends to me on who’s asking.112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

-BOI I SHOULDN’T HAVE LAUGHED AT THIS BUT YES I HAVE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. USED TO GET SICK CAUSE OF IT AND NOW HAVE A GREAT IMMUNE SYSTEM. THOUGH SERIOUSLY DON’T LET SPIDERS BITE YOU JUST CAUSE OF THE IMMUNE SYSTEM. IT DEPENDS ON EVERYONE I WAS JUST LUCKY ENOUGH TO GAIN THE BETTER IMMUNE SYSTEM.113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

-Yes114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

-Cloudy115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

-lol no one116: Favorite cloud type:

-I just like them regular clouds117: What color do you wish the sky was?

-Nothing than blue. It’s just so calming. Though I also love its sunset colors.118: Do you have freckles?

-Nope119: Favorite thing about a person:

-All goes down to their personality.120: Fruits or vegetables?

-Fruits121: Something you want to do right now:

-Get some Chinese food. Like, I don’t know that just what I want right now.122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

-Sky123: Sweet or sour foods?

-Hmm that’s hard. I’m neutral on both actually.124: Bright or dim lights?

-Dim lights. 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

-Nothing that’s coming to mind right now.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

-Nothing much that’s so drastic to say I hate it. 

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

-It’s randomness.

128: What do you think about the least?

- Don’t know exactly.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

-”Remember me for who I was, not as to how I am now. And don’t cry or else I’ll come out of my grave to slap you.”

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

-No one for the moment being.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

-My behavior that can change drastically at times. It’s not me exactly, I can be really positive at times, but throughout the day I just slink back to some bad mood for no reason at times which can cause me anxiety. I only find this good because when I’m positive, I have a good set view on life. And when I’m down, I can think more to myself and situations much more efficiently despite it all. What’s bad about this can be implications or situations when I’m in a down mood.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

-Not much. Rarely I do. I get nervous or just forget how to?? If that makes any sense haha

133: Computer or TV?

-Computer. I don’t watch much TV

134: Do you like roller coasters?

-Yeah

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

-Never been out in the sea like that and motion sickness no. I’m not really sensitive to movement

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

-What??

137: Do you believe in karma?

-Yes

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

-4? I guess? I don’t know. I’m not very good at rating things especially when it comes to looks. 

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

-Saga(username/online), Jess, Jessie, Jess-Jess, Jeff, Idaho, etc

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

-Nah. Though sometimes I picture my characters in situations or when I have anxiety and wonder what they’d do or say.

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

-Nope.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

-Good. I’ve seen and had....bad influences, but have never given in to them. Overall I seem to be a good influence, but have my ever so rare moments of doing something really stupid.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

-Giving, but I’m really bad at it haha

144: What makes you angry

-Bullying, constant lying, others messing with others stuff, denial(I’m a hypocrite. I know. But I mean when it’s something so severe and affecting so many things irl like the economy, but still don’t do anything to fix it), etc.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

-English, really. I speak Spanish too, but little of it. For some reason I can understand, somehow write and read it, but I can’t talk back very much? I have a hard time forming complex sentences or even simple ones sometimes 

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

-As someone I would like romantically? Boys. However as friends I don’t mind any.

147: Are you androgynous?

-Nope.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

-Don’t really have much favorites on anything physical for anything usually, but I guess my eyes? I just like dark colors when defined. 

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

-Can create the randomest of things in an instant even if I stutter or mess up my words when I say them lol 

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

-The Silvur child, Jazz child, and I guess my little sis. 

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

-I’ve thought about this for the skeletons cause history class sometimes gets to me. Though for myself, I’d say the early 19th century even if it were 1890. The last part of the Industrial Revolution is still going on so that means I could see what inspired the style of steampunk and hey, women have gained rights before this time already and just in time!

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

-Eh, my sis does. I don’t mind it, but the videos can sometimes be unnecessary to a certain degree and their rules that whoever work there that if they make an individual, it immediately belongs to BuzzFeed which I don’t really see as fair.  

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

-My skeleson wanted to reenact Shakespeare. 

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

-I’m not really one for much affection in a sense. I sometimes feel awkward or uncomfortable when coming to affections. However, I’m getting used to that so personally, no, although I have some friends hold hands platonically sometimes, but I prefer hugs.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

-Sometimes when I’m bored lol

156: What embarrasses you?

-Very personal intimate talks in public places with another, stuttering in the easiest of words, etc

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

-Past memories, sudden noises or lights, the future, if I’m doing anything wrong in the present, etc

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

-Haha wouldn’t you like to know? 

159: How many people are you following?

-305.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

-Not sure on how to check that. 

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

-Just this one I’m currently working on.

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

-Not sure.

163: Last time you cried and why:

-Don’t remember. 

164: Do you have long or short hair?

-Short hair/medium hair

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

-When I was like 7. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?

-I believe in a number of things from the Bible, but some things I don’t which I feel don’t make sense in accordance to events and false claims. This isn’t I don’t really want to get into online. 

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

-I do, but I don’t want it to make me subject my life to just that one topic.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

-No, not really. Whenever I do, it’s the simpler things like lipstick/lipgloss, and maybe mascara.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

-Nope.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? 

-For the most part, I think so.

you could also do all the asks since youre making me do them smh

LET’S RUMBLE 

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?- in the car like thirty minutes ago. COLORS by FLOW

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?- if i’ll get my dream job or not 

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?- graduating college? going to graduate school? constantly crying over gay shit? i don’t rly feel “accomplished” for doing anything rly.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?- getting published in the undergraduate journals in university. i found that out today. 

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?- probably. i would go out and do stuff i’m way too scared to do 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?- work for NASA/aeronautics industry. - be better at art lmao? - get my journals published 

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.- she’s little and has a lot of hair and she’s old and she’s sleepy and she’s a dog 

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?- absolutely not lmao

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?- two weeks ago? three weeks ago?

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.- my sister. she’s really encouraged me over the years to go for my dream of working in the aeronautics industry and she’s so supportive of it and to sit and gush about stars and astronomy to her would probably make her happy.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?- i never want to open up to anyone so no

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?- like IRL conversation? probably forever ago. through text probably Sid or my skype squad and all those people are 💞

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?- i’d probably tell my mom thank you for everything she’s done for me and to always take care of Precious. 

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?- no opinion 

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.- damn i don’t have one that’s coming to mind at the moment let me just skip to something i wrote in my notebook recently: “IT DOESN’TMATTER,YOU SEEWHAT YOU WANTTO SEE.” like idk i have a lot of issues with accepting truth sometimes and like idk i live in my own world 90% of the time idk what i’m saying 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?- The Chronicles of Wasted Time

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?- pay off my student loans, secure a home for myself and buy a nice car, leave a large portion for my mom. go on vacations. 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?- i used to be a total fucking pushover but honestly since going to college i’ve gotten so fuckin hateful lmao like i lost 90% of my friends and to this day i wouldn’t forgive any of them

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.- i don’t honestly remember a lot about 12 year old me. i’d probably say something like………… i know living with your brother is horrible and sometime you feel like you can’t take it anymore but just keep going bc he’s gonna leave one day and you’re gonna feel so much better. don’t leave Precious outside so much, even though you didn’t even really do it much to begin with. one day when you’re in your late teens and early 20s you’re going to hold her in your arms and count the gray hairs on her little face and kiss her all the time and realize she’s gotten old and you hadn’t even realized it. don’t be so hard on your mom. just because you’re sad and angry all the time doesn’t mean you should take it out on someone who loves you so much. also break out of your friend group because they aren’t going to be your friends forever. don’t put your eggs in one basket. 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?- truly a pastel punk

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.- i like tattoos they’re fine. i don’t have any because i’m a wuss. piercings are great if they aren’t like hoo boy too crazy 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?- nah i don’t wear makeup because i just don’t feel a desire to 

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.- Kei really means so much to me. i always told myself that if i ever got a tattoo it would be 圭 because he really got me through some tough stuff. 

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.- w/e

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.- BLOOD: this was just a for fun concert and i remember walking in and walking out lmao - Matenrou Opera: i remember feeling so fucking overwhelmed during that concert and it felt so surreal and crazy and when it ended i cried for like seven hours straight - HOME MADE 家族: hype af because it was such a feel-good experience - T.M.Revolution: FUN FUN FUN to be in a room with thousands upon thousands of people who were screaming and having fun and ugh it was great- ONE OK ROCK: i actually was really emotional during this concert. OOR means so much to me and they’ve helped me so much……. to be able to see them and be close to them honestly i felt like my chest was on fire the whole time.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?- i want letters from my old friends. i want them to be apologies to me. 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?- well my desk at home is way different than my desk at school but since i’m off school right now…. here’s what’s on my desk rn: YETI cup, docking station, Black Butler cup, candle, Impractical Jokers coasters, tons of pens and pencils, box of letters, spongebob tissues, lighter, paint, tissues, stationery, medicine, Apple Watch, party popper??? lmao

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?- play FFXV, talk to Sid, watch TV, eat fruit, drink a lot of water, kiss mom and Precious goodnight, read fanfics, draw sometimes 

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?- how sad i am. i don’t want to bother my mom with that. 

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?- i need to dye it gray lol it’s blond rn

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?- well tbh i have no friends rn so 

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.- get my dream job // because i want it. i want to achieve this dream- get rly thin // i hate my body lol- i want my dog to live forever // watching her grow old is very very very hard on me. 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.- uhhhh. me and a friend went as the old saying “fighting like cats and dogs.” she was the cat and i was the dog. we had fake blood and ripped clothes and fake teeth and i had a collar that says “daddy’s puppy” lmao my kink

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?- i haven’t done anything bad while drunk actually

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?- eat shit idk

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?- The World Seen in Dreams by DOES it’s my favorite song and it makes me feel so much 

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.- i don’t think i’ve ever been in love tbh. i feel more “in love” with things like video games and anime because i get so involved in them and…… idk…. i’m rly emotionally detached so lmao idk 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?- nah i’m not into nail polish 

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?- i usually get chai tea latte or caramel macchiato (hot and iced)

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?- my education