Itty bitty vent

test drive (miya atsumu)

synopsis: miya atsumu, despite popular belief, is enamoured by long-term relationships. it just sucks that his girlfriend doesn't and all you can do is just watch everything around him burn.

pairing: miya atsumu/reader

warnings: mentions of a toxic relationship

genre: fluff, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort

cross posted to ao3!! 

Atsumu loves his girlfriend. So much. He loves the way her fingers curl around his, the warmth of her smile, the taste of her lips. Osamu jokingly says that he's so in love that it's sickening. But somewhere deep inside him, he knows that her charm is just a wall that's bound to tip over.

He's seen the way she stares at him. Her eyes are always half-lidded, as if she only wants him for pleasure. After back to back nights with entangled legs and heaving bodies, he starts to think that maybe it's true.

He's seen the way she sits with his friends. Once he brought her to an Inarizaki VBC reunion dinner and she didn't laugh once. Not at Suna's jokes, not at Aran's quips, not even at him. She smiled sweetly at them but he could see the poison dripping from her features. When they left, she was all over him and told him how much fun she had and he forgot that she ever made that face.

He's seen the way she steals his time from him. When was the last time he hung out with any of his friends on his lonesome? He couldn't tell you. If he isn't doing volleyball related things, he always finds her clinging onto his arm or hovering over him or squirming underneath him.

Atsumu knows that these are red flags that are practically flapping around right in front of him but he stays unsure. What if he's overthinking it? Maybe this is normal. Maybe this is the compromise that he needed to practice in relationships. Besides, she's so beautiful, so intelligent, so radiant. He doesn't want to lose her over such minor details, he loves her too much.

What is love truely like anyway?

He knows he loves Osamu, volleyball, his friends. But that's different, right? At this point, the differences are arbitrary because he feels love is not the relationship that he's drowning in now. He loves her and she loves him but every time she's around, he can't breathe. It's not the good kind of breathlessness either. Atsumu feels like he's being held down. He doesn't like it but he figures that maybe her demanding nature could whip him into shape or something.

After all, the last time he told her that he felt insecure about her love, she proclaimed that he wasn't allowed to feel like that ever again because it made her feel doubtful too.

In amongst the whirlwinds in his mind, he always finds himself trailing back to you. You, the childhood friend who played pretend with him and Osamu every day after school. You, his personal tutor when exams were creeping up on him. You, the person who made his heart feel so full and happy.

Perhaps you were love personified. But he'll never know anything of you, of your love, of maybe his love for you. He doesn't even remember the last time he spoke to you. It's a good thing that you do.

It was right before he was swept up from his feet by infatuation. He used to talk your ear off about her all the time, until he didn't. You met her once too, being met with the same poisonous smile. With every passing day, he notified you of at least one thing that she did that day and it became painfully obvious that she wasn't in it for his whole. Each fragment was minor on its own but piling it all together painted a big red flag. You hated it.

His incessant texting became more infrequent and suddenly, he wasn't talking to you anymore. Every time you messaged him, you were met with radio silence. Not even the hostile kind, just one full of emptiness and nothing. If you have to be honest, you miss it. The 'good morning' texts, the pictures he sent whenever he met up with Osamu, the secrets you two would whisper in the dead of the night.

You miss Atsumu.

So you message his twin brother, your other childhood friend that you haven't lost yet.

To: samu

how's atsumu, by the way?

kinda miss him :(

From: samu

you miss him?? D:

jks, i miss him too

his girlfriend broke up with him a week ago so not very well

You will never admit it but you love him so dearly. How could you not, he's a shooting star that burns so brightly that the image of him is engrained in your retinas. An explosion of personality, you had once kindly put it. You only registered that you felt such a poignant emotion for him when it was too late, when he had set his eyes on the girl that just shattered him into pieces.

Nothing could ever compare to the pang in your chest when you realise that he isn't and wasn't being loved the way that he should be.

Atsumu's lost all that he loves and all you can do is watch. No reaching out, no late night drives to his place for a cry, no laughter filling his empty apartment. He's drifted away and it's gonna take a miracle for either of you to float back to each other.

But then again, you can make that miracle happen, right?

And you do while standing at his front door, shivering in the November cold. You knock once and the door immediately flies open, revealing a snotty-nosed Atsumu. You'd laugh at the sight but sorrow washes over you too quickly. His eyes widen like saucers as he chaperones you into his one-bedroom apartment.

It's not long before you're both hunched over in laughter, anger and misery all in the same breath.

"She said that she jus' wanted to test me out. What am I, a second hand Honda Civic?" he practically spits.

"Personally, I think you're more of a Mercedes kind of guy." you reply in jest. Atsumu smiles warmly for a moment before he gives you a look of mock betrayal. The warmth spreading through his chest reminds him that he missed all of this, all of you. He hopes you don't catch him getting all soft and sappy.

"Mercedes, huh? I'm not good enough to be a Ferrari?" you can only giggle back at him.

The conversation dips into silence for a moment and you feel the weight of it draped over you like a blanket. A stupidly heavy blanket. Atsumu thankfully opens his mouth to speak.

"Thanks for comin' over, I wasn't expectin' ya to after..."

"I know. In any other circumstance, I would've had every right to be mad so it helps that I'm not a jerk."

"Shut yer trap."

"Love you too." Somehow, the words held a bit too much love in them when you let them slip from your lips.

With that, Atsumu decides that he wants to watch Finding Nemo — apparently the 'best animated film of all time' — with you in tow. Who are you to say no to his innocent request?

The glow of the flat screen fills the once dark and empty apartment. The blonde finds that he's not paying as much attention to the animated fish on screen as he usually does. Nemo's not as interesting as you are, he muses. Unlike him, your eyes are fixed to the aquatic story in front of you, legs tucked under crossed arms. 

As he periodically steals glances at you, he thinks that after he heals from this mess, after he becomes more whole, he'll come to you. No matter how long it takes for him to get over his former lover, you’ll be the one he’ll aim for. You burn way brighter than she did anyway.

Genesis Climber Mospeada: Final Thoughts

Mospeada’s probably most notable for being one of the three anime series that was frankensteined together to make the Robotech saga, alongside the more famous Super Dimension Fortress Macross and the less well know Super Dimension Cavalry Southern Cross. However, it’s a series with a legacy of its own on its own merits in Japan and has had some degree of enduring popularity - the IP even has a new IP called Genesis Breaker in the works. So, is it good enough to warrant that?

In my opinion, only sort of. This is a series with some charismatic characters, cool mechanical designs, solid animation for its time and a great soundtrack, as well as an initially promising plot, but having just finished it I can’t help but feel like it didn’t quite stick the landing and ultimately didn’t manage to become something greater than the sum of its parts. Ultimately a plot that feels half-baked is the chief culprit for this.

The plot setup is that the Earth is invaded by a mysterious alien species called the Inbit, who manage to completely force humanity’s governments and militaries from the surface of the planet entirely. Humanity rebuilds on its colonies on Mars and eventually launches an armada to reclaim Earth, only for their invasion to fail. Refusing to give in, they launch a second armada some time later. Lieutenant Stig Bernard is a soldier who is part of this second invasion. Re-entry to Earth’s atmosphere goes poorly, and while Stig makes it through, humanity’s force is scattered, and his fiancé Marlene is killed during the operation. Grieving and all alone, Stig nevertheless must gather his resolve and continue with his mission to attack Reflex Point, a location in North America believed to be the nexus of alien activity. Along the way, he’ll gather up a motley band of new allies who’ll join him in his quest.

The setup isn’t that exciting on the face of it, but it’s the details that make it initially intriguing. The first voice the anime airs is that of the Inbit themselves, as they travel through space as a flicker of mysterious light, invoking the names of unfamiliar deities as they make their way to Earth. The mystique this sets up around them was the one thing that drove me on through the early parts - I wanted to know more about these strange invaders. The series guards this mystique closely however. For a long time we see nothing of them save the exteriors of the crablike battle mecha they fight with, and they drop hints as to their true aims and natures a little too infrequently. Eventually the show does make serious developments with them, but it feels like it comes too little, too late. When the resolution of the war comes about in the last episode, the solution feels like a copout more than anything, and it feels like the opportunity was wasted. Most of the episodes of the show technically advance the plot by getting Stig and the gang close to Reflex Point but the stories involved episode to episode too often feel like side stories that don’t build the world in a significant enough way.

Thankfully, the main cast of characters is mostly pretty good. Stig is a bit of a hardass and sticks rigidly to his duties as a soldier, which sometimes leads him into unnecessary conflict with others, but he remains sympathetic as the loss of his fiancé weighs on him heavily. Probably the most competent and interesting member of the group is Yellow, who’s a male soldier who moonlights as a female singer. Many of the more interesting episodes feature him as the primary character. Ray and Houquet are Earth-born survivors of the Inbit occupation who join the group to help out regardless and have something of a romantic magnetism between each other, and Jim’s a mechanic who has to overcome his own fears to live up to his duty. These are all pretty good characters, but there’s one massive exception to this, that being Mint, a young girl who joins up early on and proceeds to ruin almost every scene she’s in with her obnoxious personality and loud, shrill voice. Her gimmick is that she awkwardly hits on almost every attractive male character she runs into, which is pretty uncomfortable because she’s obviously meant to be prepubescent. This character was such a mistake that she managed to sour my impressions of the show as a whole in record time. She provides little to no utility to the other group members and it makes no sense for them to take a young child with them into the thick of combat on a mission to assault the heavily guarded fortress of a hostile alien race. I know how this sounds, me bitching about a little kid character, but she really was just that bad.

The presentation, thankfully, is actually pretty good all round. It’s an old show that doesn’t do an amazing job of hiding it, for its time its quite solid. The mechanical designs are interesting - the Inbit’s crablike combat robots are fairely unique to look at for one, whereas the heavy hitter on the human side is the Legioss, a transforming fighter similar to Macross’ Valkyrie, albeit with a heavier, blockier profile. The most unique member of the mechanised cast is the namesake Mospeada, which are combat motorcycles that dynamically transform into heavily-armed power armour for their human riders. Animation featuring all of these is of a consistently solid level, and many of the battles are actually quite exciting. This is furthered by the fact that the show’s soundtrack is strong, including some really catchy and energetic vocal tracks.

As to whether this is worth a recommend or not, I’m a little on the fence. I definitely think this one’s more for people who appreciate the aesthetics of 80s mecha anime, because this one fits that bill really well. If you’re hear for an interesting plot, I think there are plenty of other shows that do the whole aspect of humans fighting mysterious aliens that do that schtick a fair bit better, most notably, and somewhat ironically, the original Macross.

Interestingly, there was an OVA called Love, Live, Alive released after the TV show. It’s set from the perspective of Yellow following the conclusion of the events of the series, as he looks back on everything that happened while performing at concerts. In effect, what that means is that it’s 50 minutes of the series’ more exciting battles and dramatic plot moments set to some of the best vocal tracks. If you’re on the fence about whether this show’s for you, but you don’t feel like taking a gamble on its 25-episode length, it might be worthwhile to just watch this OVA instead to get the super-digest version of it, though as a word of warning maybe it’s better to give it a miss if you suffer from photosensitive epilepsy.

Snake Obesity

So this is a pretty popular topic on Facebook right now, with a couple photo sets making the rounds of the unfortunate aftermath. So, I’m going to share my experience on how to correct it before the snake meets an untimely end!

This is a LONG post so I’m going to put it under a cut.

Case #1: Charlie Charlie was obese for a number of years, and I didn’t really know it. I was feeding her a couple large r@ts every 3 weeks, which seemed fair for an adult blood python!

But look how thick she was! Bloods should have plenty of spine definition and be rather triangle shaped, and hers was getting lost in there! It took a year of spaced out, small feedings, but we got there. I also can’t stress the importance of adding BlRD to the diet. Chick.ens, qu.ail, even lean chick.en parts. Adding leaner prey items to the diet really works wonders. I fed her only 6 times in one year, and she was perfect. This is what she looks like these days! We’ve found the missing spine! She is currently 14 years old and doing great.

Case #2: Jocelyn Jocelyn is still a young, growing northern white lipped python. I had just recently moved her up to medium rats, when I noticed a couple strange bumps... Fat deposits. But it was weird because she LOOKS like a pretty good weight here right? She doesn’t LOOK fat or too thick! When I took her to my very experienced reptile vet, even he didn’t think she looked fat.

But then what was up with these?

Guys, it wasn’t just how much I was feeding- it was what I was feeding and how often. I was feeding large meals infrequently like I would a blood python, but it turns out white lips aren’t suited for that IME. I started feeding smaller meals more frequently, and leaner avian prey now makes up the bulk of their diets. After trying to figure out these lumps for months, including getting them examined and tested, needle aspirate samples taken under a scope twice and only finding fat cells, after I changed her diet they disappeared. They were fatty deposits. She’s much healthier now thanks to a change in diet and switching up the prey items. Medium rats on their own just were too fatty for her! About 70% of her diet now is avian. My Advice?

Don’t have a set feeding schedule, or a set prey item. Every time you interact with your snake, assess their body condition and ask yourself if this snake should eat this week or not. This ESPECIALLY goes for adult snakes. I was feeding my adult ball pythons once a month maybe, my adult bloods are fed perhaps every 4-6 weeks depending. Sometimes I stretch it to 8 weeks if they’re looking good still. My more active Chironius eat small low calorie meals (fish, frog, blrd) about twice a week. Watch your animals and continually reassess their condition. Even metabolisms between snakes of the same species vary. Tailor your feeding to their specific needs. Snake obesity doesn’t take years to fix, and avian prey and spacing meals appropriately works WONDERS for it.

1089.

1 - Aside from the necessities (eating, breathing etc.) what is something you do every single day, without fail? >> Check gmail, tumblr, discord. Do my Flight Rising dailies.

2 - Do you use cash or card the most? Do you find yourself using card or contactless methods more since COVID hit? >> I use card almost exclusively (some of the less technologically up-to-date stalls at the farmer’s market make me run back to the ATM sometimes, but other than that I never carry cash). This was even before COVID, so nothing has changed for me there. 3 - Is there anything you enjoy that’s considered childish for your age? What is it? >> I don’t call anything I enjoy “childish” and I don’t think other people should either.

4 - Who’s your favourite voice actor? What’s the best thing they’ve been in? >> I don’t have one. Keith David has a great voice, though, I do love him. And of course there’s Ron Glass (RIP) :’(

5 - How many times a day do you use the bathroom? >> Like twice, normally. Three or four if I have a lot of beverages.

6 - Do you need caffeine to wake up in the morning? What’s your drink of choice? >> I don’t need anything to wake up in the morning -- sleep is one area I’ve never had serious problems in, and thank god for that, because imagine how much worse my mental health would be if I did...

7 - Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? If you’re an introvert, do you feel like you live in a world built for extroverts? >> I prefer being alone or in very small groups (and infrequently, even then), let’s just put it that way.

8 - What do you do with old clothes you no longer want or need? >> I usually end up throwing them away, unfortunately. I used to give them to Goodwill but then I realised how much of that stuff eventually gets thrown away anyway because it doesn’t get sold and they just get way too much stuff. COVID kind of interrupted this year’s possibilities, but in the future I’m probably going to look up local nonprofit homeless services and see if they need anything I have. 9 - How old were you when you got your first pet (not a family pet, but one that you were solely responsible for)? >> I have never had this particular experience.

10 - What is something popular or fashionable that you consider to be a real waste of money? >> ---

11 - Do you donate to charity? >> No.

12 - Do you live somewhere with lots of livestock or wild animals? >> Livestock, yeah, because there are a lot of farms once you get even a mile or two outside of the city. Not so much wildlife, just your general squirrels and crows and the occasional deer family.

13 - Would you rather live somewhere rural or urban? >> More rural than urban, but not so rural that it’s an all-day affair just to get groceries, you know. Also, I like having the Internet.

14 - Is there anything (a hobby, for example) that’s guaranteed to always make you feel better when you’ve had a bad day? >> Honestly, just... being Inworld. That’s my safe zone. Even if it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away right away (that’s not always possible), it is always at least grounding and comforting to be hugged by Can Calah, or to hear D or Bruni’s voice.

15 - If you’re struggling with your mental health, who are you most likely to open up to, or would you bottle it up instead? >> I bring that stuff Inworld. It’s really difficult to be that vulnerable outworld, although I try to make small forays into vulnerability on places like my blog or certain Discord servers. They’re still small forays, though -- I’m really just testing the waters, not actually swimming like I probably should be if I want to really work at it.

16 - Do you get your five portions of fruits and veggies everyday? >> Not every day, no. I wish it were easier for me to pull that off, but it really is not. 

17 - What room of your house do you spend the most time in? Is this through choice or necessity? >> My room, by choice. I like it in here, it’s my space. The first space of my own I’ve had since 2009, which was the only other time I had space of my own (and then I didn’t even enjoy it because I was horribly depressed and isolated and constantly broke).

18 - If you have pets, do you snuggle with them when you’re having a bad time? Does it make you feel better? >> That’s a thing Sparrow does, but it doesn’t do anything for me. Maybe if I had an emotional support dog...

19 - Would you ever sign up to be in the military? What if there was enforced conscription, would you go or would you object? >> Fuck. No. Fuck no. Nope. Fuck no. I’d literally rather commit suicide. Did I make myself clear?

20 - Would you ever want to go to any kind of fitness bootcamp, or does that sound like utter hell to you? >> That does sound like utter hell to me.

21 - What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? What was it that made it so bad? >> ---

22 - If you could design your own garden, what would you have in it? Do you think that dream is ever going to be achievable for you? >> I have always been most interested in the kind of gardening that was just about caring for native plants and helping them to flourish. Learning the complex intricacies of the ecosystem around me and doing my part to preserve it. Like if there needs to be more pollinators, having some hives. Or if there was once a planted lawn on the property I live on, rehabilitating the soil and replacing it with native grasses instead. I would also like to grow herbs and vegetables, and any kind of flower that is native or at least not invasive to this particular environment (especially if it’s yellow! I love all yellow flowers). I imagine it would be perfectly achievable if we ever moved into a house.

23 - Do you believe there’s life on other planets? If so, do you think it’s anything like humanity? >> I think it’s highly probable that there’s life elsewhere, but highly improbable that it’d be like humanity. But maybe like other life on this planet, particularly microbes, sure.

24 - Does it take you a long time to fall asleep at night? What do you if you’re really struggling to get to sleep? >> No, I usually fall asleep within a half-hour of laying down, as long as I’m not doing anything brain-intensive.

25 - if you drive, how many times a week do you have to fill up your car with fuel? If you don’t drive, how much do you spend a week on travel/transport? >> I don’t go anywhere, period. When I used to go places (pre-COVID), I probably spent about $30 a month tops on public transportation. Usually more like $15.

26 - What did you get the last time you went out for fast food? >> The last fast food we had was Steak and Shake, but through DoorDash. I got the jalapeño crunch burger, like I used to, but I won’t be ordering burgers anymore because I think my GI tract is over red meat (or, at least, the highly processed variety).

27 - Do you tend to snack when you’re watching TV or sitting at the computer? What’s your favourite thing to snack on? >> I like to watch something while I’m eating a meal, but I don’t really snack for the sake of snacking or anything. I just plan the two things to happen at the same time whenever I can.

28 - When was the last time you went to a zoo or wildlife park type place? >> Uh... Labor Day last year? I think?

29 - Do you think it’s cruel when people keep exotic animals as pets? Or do you think it’s okay as long as they have the space, time and money to dedicate to them? >> I do think it’s cruel. I don’t see how any sort of condition could be okay for this, no matter how hard you try. Just... go on a safari. Watch a nature documentary. Why do you have to keep wild animals in your house? Domesticated dogs and cats and lizards and shit are literally right there (and a lot of them are in shelters, just waiting for a dedicated caregiver!).

30 - If you eat meat, is there a particular animal you’d never eat? If you don’t eat meat, what’s the reason for it? >> I don’t eat a lot of meat because I don’t really crave it. Like, it doesn’t strike me as necessary for a meal, probably because I was raised not eating it. I eat chicken most often because Sparrow makes a lot of meals that include it (and fried chicken sandwiches are my kryptonite). My preference for meat-eating is to eat from local sources that employ sustainable, ecologically-informed farming practices -- but, you know. I also live in America, as well as below the poverty line for a two-person household, so this stuff is difficult. It’s often easier (and insanely cheaper) to just not eat meat at all, which may be partly how that became such a big fad.

On threesomes, tacos and The Office

Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? (-me, every single goddamn blog I write) I’m not going to wax poetic on my lack of motivation because, well, I do that every single post and also every single day in the prison of my own mind BUT! Here I am. Let’s just get on with it.

As most of you know, I am single. [thunderous applause from the crowd] please… please, thank you so much, please let me finish. After a solid consecutive five-ish years spent in back-to-back relationships, before which I’d been a crippingly insecure college student content to desperately make out with whatever pasty and emotionally stunted upperclassman would squeeze my boob, I’d never really dipped my toes into the dating app world until the last seven months or so. And I have to say: I am… well? I’m disgusted. It’s no secret that women on the apps match with exponentially more men than the other way around, and given what I’ve seen of men’s profiles, it’s not hard to see why. Men are out here in the virtual streets acting like goddamn buffoons and still expecting sex to be bestowed upon them. It’s a travesty, and nevertheless, it persists. It’s often said you need to be the change you wish to see in the world. So I’ve decided to take matter into my own hands. I present to you: my definitive list of dating app pet peeves.

- The Office quotes. I have to get it out of the way first, or it’ll gnaw at my soul. We all love The Office. It’s one of the greatest comedies of all time. So great that every fucking idiot this side of the Mississippi lists it as one of their top three TV shows. Cut it the fuck out. No mention of it! No “assistant to the regional manager”, no “looking for the Pam to my Jim”, no “Employed at: Dunder Mifflin”, please, for the love of God, shut the fuck up. At this point I’d honestly rather see a blurry, unhygienic and unsolicited dick pic than read “Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica” in some mediocre looking Brayden’s profile. Oh, and if you think you’re off the hook because you quoted Parks and Rec instead? You’re fucking not, Tanner. Watch another show.

- “Kid not mine!!!!!!” Yes, my instinct was that a 24-year-old named Brett on a dating app created for the primary purpose of fucking strangers was going to upload a picture of his infant child as his main photo for which to attract female mates. I’m glad you clarified

- Grown, of age, adult, matured, human men using Snapchat filters and/or boomerangs. This might be the biggest one of all, and that’s saying something. A photo of a man with an artificially round cherub face and giant virtual sparkly anime eyes or, even worse, a squinty boomerang trying desperately to accentuate his weak jawline… sends a chill down the spine. I hate to perpetuate gender roles, but I feel I’m justified in saying straight men aren’t allowed to use Snapchat filters. And boomerangs are only for hot girls making kissy faces and clinking their drinks together - at this point, it’s basically cultural appropriation to use them if you don’t fit that profile. Please, I beg of you, summon a shred of goddamn dignity from the depths of your broken soul and delete the boomerang.

- Jumping off of that last one: emoji use. Again, I mean, I hate to impose the confines of traditional masculinity on anyone, but the monkey-covering-his-eyes emoji has never helped anyone seal the deal. I mean that.

- “Not looking for anything serious” Chad, you have the Macklemore haircut and are wearing American flag swim trunks. I promise you, no one assumed you were looking for something serious

- Mentioning tacos/pizza/[insert delicious and popular food item here]. Look, I am a feminist, and in the spirit of equality I must point out that women pioneered this trend and still perpetuate it heavily - a pattern sociologists have termed the “touch my butt and feed me tacos phenomenon”. However, men have latched onto it in what I can only assume is an eleventh-hour attempt to draw in this demo. Please cease and desist. Everyone likes tacos, Caleb

- The other day I saw a guy on Hinge say his ideal dinner guest was Peter Kavinsky and I’ve never seen anyone else say that but honestly fuck you dude. Fuck you

- When guys are trying to stay anonymous and post a low-quality shirtless torso pic without showing their face…? Has anyone ever actually swiped right on that? I kind of respect the blind confidence, but still.

- ”[insert height here]… because I’ve been told it matters” stop with the qualifier, just tell us how tall you are and go, you coward. Honestly, I think the ideal male dating app profile for me is just 3 grainy vaguely attractive pictures and “6’3” as a bio.

- “In town for the weekend… show me around?” Firstly, that sounds absolutely harrowing. Secondly, I’d respect you more if you just said “in NYC for 24 hours and trying to get it in” than pretend like you’re searching for Sacajawea to show you the new world. It’s NYC. Google it

- Any of the following descriptors: easygoing, laid-back, outgoing, “loves travel/fine dining/yoga/hiking/Netflix/some other generic hobby white people like to talk about”, intelligent, chill, fun, low-key, “up for whatever”, hard-working, humble, etc. These are not bad qualities per se, but anyone who describes themselves as such is 110% guaranteed to be deeply boring.

- I was just swiping to find some more overused descriptive phrases and someone’s bio was “the Earth is cylindrical”… you have my attention, sir

- Guys with accents specifying in their profile that they have an accent. I cannot tell you what an enormous boner killer this is. Do you know what’s a huge turn ON? Being into a guy and then meeting him for the first time and realizing he has a sexy ass accent. You know what’s not a huge turn on? A random English dude you didn’t match with leaving you a 45-second Instagram voice DM (this is a thing somehow) in which he hits on you and then goes “oh… and yeah… I have an accent. Crazy, isn’t it?” Yes, this really happened. Still accepting thoughts and prayers.

- Couples looking for threesomes. This is a delicate process and making a joint profile with “she’s bicurious. He’s straight. We both like kissing girls. Looking for someone to explore with :)” is not only cringeworthy as all motherfuck, but completely ineffective. Listen, I get it. I get that after four years, Tommy and Kayleigh are trying to spice things up. Order a pair of fuzzy handcuffs on Amazon and leave me the hell out of it. Also - every single one of these couples has a very… wide male/female attractiveness margin. Kayleigh can hit me up on her own.

I’m going to stop here because I’m just making myself depressed at this point. It’s really a jungle out there. The truth of it is we’re all braver than the goddamn troops every time we swipe, and I salute each of you out there in the trenches with me. May your monkey emojis be infrequent and your threesome requests be infrequent-er! If worse comes to worse, there’s always arranged marriage.

Rebuttal against dragon-ball-meta

So my stupid ass has no idea how tumblr works, even to this day. After meta responded, I wasn’t able to reblog his stuff, message him, or even follow him. I’m quite certain he blocked me, which is . . . unexpected to say the least. And sad. A real eye-opener, that is. Here’s my rebuttal to his response. Someone let me know if he replies again or something, maybe copy+paste his shit for me, I dunno. Let’s begin:

Hey, thanks for responding, man. Appreciate it.

It’s Toriyama’s words against yours, pal. Regardless of how it was ignored or overwritten, none of this actually precludes its canonical connection with the main story. This isn’t actually an argument against filler’s canonicity, it just reaffirms the admittedly nonsensical connection Toriyama himself decided to establish. Let’s examine the entirety of the last scan(remember, fourth post):

“12: From time to time, il would happen that people whom I didn't even know were approaching me about the anime. Things were often said like: "Oh jeeze, between the manga and the anime, you must never take any time to let yourself breathe!". In reality, I had hardly worked at all on the anime, I had put confidence in my collaborators. I had enough to do just with the manga. I didn't want to work myself to death, you know...

Toriyama: I want to live until I'm 100 years old!

13: For example, drawing an image of a movement in a manga is relatively simple, but to animate this image, you had to decompose the movement and draw all the intermediary movements. That demands a colossal amount of work. (Ok, the example of Kame-sennin might not be the most appropriate...)”

Nothing much here. He’s essentially elaborating on how much his work is cut out for him. Now all that’s left is the final quotes:

“14: Of course, those who have read Dragon Ball have noticed that certain stories which are found in the anime didn't existe in the manga.

Oolong: What's this? I never saw that in the manga....”

Toriyama and Oolong mention the original stories found in the anime, the filler stories. Obviously.

“END: As one adventure in the manga corresponds to about 10 minutes of animation, and since one episode comprises on average 30 minutes, the entire series of Dragon Ball would have passed by very quickly. The team of animators therefore had to insert some original stories. I admire what they have done, that's a hell of a job!”

Toriyama’s reasoning for inserting original stories is padding, as you know. He’s not talking about how it’s fine if people like both or how the padding didn’t upset him. Anywho, we know that when he speaks of “original stories”, he’s speaking in a narrative context.

“Toriyama: Dragon Ball, it's the anime and the manga!”

Whereas the previous quote denotes his reasoning, this final quote confirms his overall treatment of the anime, being that it along with the manga comprise one wholesome narrative. Everyone knows it’s for the sake of padding. That’s been obvious from the very beginning. Still doesn’t negate Toriyama’s clear and explicit connection between the two mediums. Remember, Toriyama > You/Me.

I’m not sure what your point is in saying I think those types of alterations are “akin” to the driving episode. My view on the filler’s canonicity is akin to Toriyama’s. I also think it was a stupid decision on his part to establish such a connection for reasons I’m sure you’d agree with, such as character breaking moments and inconsistent power levels. I see filler as supplementary evidence for Plague, honestly. He doesn’t need ‘em to defend Tien.

See, the issue there is that all that fandom backlash and meme shit is frankly an insignificant indicator as to where his popularity is concerned. Weekly Jump 1993 has Krillin living the good life just behind Piccolo, Weekly Jump 1995 has Krillin taking more of a backseat and yet he’s still popular enough to remain in the top 10, and Dragon Ball Forever has Krillin just catching up back to Piccolo. He’s evidently the most popular human character, so I’m not at all out of line in connecting the dots (or votes, in this case) to his relevancy in the series. No conceit or irrational dislike here, meta, when I’ve mostly no problems with Krillin’s treatment in the series, only how others like Tien are being left in the dust.

Christ, this again? I can tell this conversation is heading to, “Oh, Krillin’s progress makes sense for his status as the strongest human” instead of addressing Plague’s overall gripe. Frankly, the exact point of plateau is too vague and arbitrary to pinpoint for any of these guys. Meta, please listen, just listen: I believe you. Krillin’s progression making him surpass Tien WITHOUT artificial power boosts is realistic. Would it have happened eventually or inevitably? Neither of us know, but that was never the point, which is that Tien’s importance as a fighter is no less than that of Krillin, and yes, even Yamcha. Plague’s premise was never reliant on Tien being the strongest, he touched on that for literally only a few seconds near the end, so let’s drop this tangent on who would’ve surpassed whom, yeah?

Well, first off, I would respectfully ask you to quell your bias for Krillin, as Plague’s video on Tien touches on him quite infrequently anyway. You spend too much time on this subject, and while I’m happy to engage you on it, it’s quite the digression. His videos being internet comedy videos (scroll down and you’ll find his comment), he makes sure to stay on point without rambling off-topic. The comedic value of his content would be severely diminished if he was all like, “Tien is fading into irrelevancy in comparison to other fan favorites”, instead of saying, “This is a Toriyama handjob.” You can call this intellectual dishonesty from a dishonest hack, I call it what it is: comedy. If you can discern no difference between the two in relation to his actual points, then I can’t help you there. I can only hope I’ve made everyone here more open-minded and vice versa.

I’m beginning to think you haven’t watched his video, meta. He doesn’t think Toriyama hates Tien. He called Tien’s stand against Cell his “greatest accomplishment” in the end of the video, albeit begrudgingly. Any examples in Z are mere digressions, anyway, as he specifically criticizes Tien’s treatment in SUPER. Anyone can look at Tien’s entry into the ToP and take that to mean he was kept important; Tien’s performance was a joke comparatively even in terms of strategy, forget power. His only notable achievements are Tri-Beaming an already incapacitated Za Priccio, courtesy of Roshi, earning Tien a knockout and his FIRST EVER ATTACK landed on an enemy that isn’t a Frieza soldier, and the most humiliating ringout ever in the form of using clones to tackle Harmira off the ring AFTER Tien’s original body was thrown off when he just as well could’ve used one measly clone as bait beforehand. Yes, power isn’t the sole indicator, but it’s the most important one in Dragon Ball. So when the ToP is played up to be needing more strategy, Tien is still treated as a joke of an afterthought.

That’s great, meta. Neither do I and neither does Plague.

I wildly disagree. His thoughts are spot on precisely because he acknowledges Tien’s motivations as a character. I don’t find them argued from emotion any more than I find yours regarding Krillin, tbh. It’s okay for you to be wrong sometimes too, meta.

P.S. You’ve said this already. I agree. I think the same can be argued for Tien given the extremely vague context as to what certain side guys have been doing off-screen. I’m literally watching the Tien video for the third time (you don’t stop talking about this, so I need to make sure), and I get the impression that Plague’s mad about Tien’s piss-poor performance comparatively rather than him being the strongest human (again, this was NOT the crux of his argument).

P.P.S You’ve . . . made this point already. Nobody said this. Plague didn’t say this. Jesus. He never even spoke of Krillin’s popularity to begin with. I know why Krillin’s popular. Hell, I loved his character from the very beginning. Krillin, Krillin, Krillin, Krillin, Krillin. We get it, meta.

Survey #211

"i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink, but now i'm insecure and i care what people think."

What is your favorite time of day? Morning. What is your third favorite color? Ummm maybe peach. Do you care what others think of you? In most contexts, very much so. How would you dress, if you were the opposite sex? Same style I do now, really. Though not tank tops and dance pants; I'm sure I'd mostly wear loose band or graphic tees and sweatpants. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think I might? I believe it was a blue one where the keyboard slides out from the bottom. Small and square-ish. What do you do to maintain your eyebrows? Nothing. What was the naughtiest thing you did when you were a child? I bit my sister's back so hard that I made her bleed, lmao. Sorry Ash. What, in your opinion, is the most thirst-quenching drink? COLD WATER. Who is your favorite character from Alice in Wonderland? Cheshire cat. Name the closest body of water to where you live: Atlantic Ocean. What do you like to put on toast? Light layer of butter and then cinnamon and sugar. The true cinnamon toast. Do you like art? Of course. How about theater? I don't have too much of an opinion... other than it has potential to be incredibly cheesy. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. She's way more than that, and we talk every day. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Loads of stuff. What was the last thing you bought? With my own money, I don't have a clue. Have you ever been considered popular? No. Your signature perfume? I don't have one. Favorite undersea creature? Sea turtles, seahorses, jellyfish... Describe your room with just 5 words. Small, crowded, zoo, artsy, and... idk. Favorite type of chocolate? Milk. What types of things would you plant in a garden? If I actually wanted one, lots of flowers. Maybe tomatoes because fresh tomatoes + bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches are fucking incredible. Favorite attraction at a carnival? Ferris wheel. What toys did you play with as a child? Plastic animals, Pokemon figures, and stuffed animals were common. Oh yeah, I loved Lincoln Logs too. What types of music do you listen to? Various kinds of metal and rock as well as indie. What, without fail, makes you cry? Mufasa dying lmao. What makes a movie really enjoyable for you? A cool plot. Usually fantasy elements. Favorite way to decorate a cake? *shrugs* What gift(s) did you get for your birthday last year? I don't remember. What do you daydream about the most? My future. Name a game you are really good at. Shadow of the Colossus probably, but considering how infrequently I play games now, I'm sure I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be. Whenever I get a PS4 and the remake tho, I'm getting that goddamn white Agro. I never did the timed challenges before, but I think I could do it. What kinds of snacks do you munch on? I don't really have snacks anymore; I try to keep them out of the house so I'm not tempted. If anything though, it'll probably be some kind of chip. What emotionally exhausts you? Socializing. What accessories would come with a doll version of you? A laptop, iPod, and medication lmao. Favorite thing to do when it’s night time? Sleep? I've sure grown into a fun person. How do you like to bathe/shower? With hot-ish water. The most childish part of your personality? I absolutely hate chores. Favorite type of fantasy creature? Dragons. Do your arms move when you walk? I... actually don't know and can't even visualize how I walk right now. Favorite photo search engine? Google. Are there such things as stupid questions? Depends on your age and some other factors, I guess. Do you celebrate April Fools Day? No. I hate it, honestly. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? Both. How do you cure boredom? I'd love to fucking know. I'm always bored. Ankle socks or knee-highs? Ankle socks. Do you know how military time works? Yes, but I can't comprehend the time immediately if it's passed 12. What’s your daily routine? Wake up, check the time, use the bathroom, have breakfast, feed my cat, sit on the laptop doing nothing, maybe or maybe not have a nap at some point, shower if I need to whatever time I feel like, also brush my teeth at some random point during the day (unless I have to go somewhere; then I'll do it before I leave), eat dinner, feed the other pets, and go to bed. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? I literally yelled "HOLY SHIT, I THINK I SEE A SHARK!" when we were all in the car driving over a bridge and I swear I saw a fin in the water, lmao. Mom was. Not happy. Ever made a snow angel? Yes. Are you short or tall for your age? I'm average. At what age did you learn the Pledge of Allegiance? Idk, early elementary school. What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? When my appetite was like non-existent and I lost a shitload of weight, I think I almost went a full 24 hours. What do you think about most? What's stressing me out. Are you honestly a good person? I don't think I'm a bad one. Where would you like to be buried? I'd rather be cremated. Do you use Bing or Google? Google. Last song you listened to? "Damage" by Fit For Rivals. Last movie you watched ALL the way through? The Shining. Howwww had I not seen it sooner. Last thing you wrote down? The time I was meeting with my job coach on the calendar. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Detective Pikachu. What is ONE thing your fridge or pantry ALWAYS needs? My day will feel so off if I don't have one Mtn. Dew Voltage. Do you believe more in luck or hard work? That's a good question. Sometimes you can work your ass off and yet reap inadequate - or any - rewards, while some people pick up a lottery ticket once in their life and are suddenly a millionaire. Life's not fair, kids. But I like to think hard work usually prevails. Do you have any metal on or in your body right now? Piercings. What is your favorite thing to eat with dip? Plain chips with sour cream dip... yum. Do you consider yourself a heartbreaker? Nope. Who was the last person to tag a picture of you? Who even knows. I don't get tagged in pictures because I'm never with people to take and tag me in any lmao. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. Is there someone you always, secretly hope will talk to you? It's not a secret that I want to talk to Jason ONE last time to apologize on MY end. What was your first favorite band? Backstreet Boys. Are you friends with any bands? A local band, yeah; their guitarist is an old friend. Do you stay up ridiculously late for no reason? Very very rarely now. What’s your life motto? Idk, I've never really thought about it. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? A popular song? Oh boy, idk. I don't really know what's popular that I like... Well, guess I'll think of old songs I know were. Um... Oh well I love writing sad shit, so maybe "Runaway Love" by Ludacris ft. Mary J. Blige. I already had an RP plot that was kinda inspired by it lmao. Do you like 3OH!3? If I said I wouldn't belt "'CUZ I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED'A HIM" at a club at 2 in the morning I'd be lying. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? No. Do you have a long driveway? No. Anyone’s grave you visit, regularly? No. Who was your first kiss? First person who kissed me was Juan, first mutual kiss (which I consider my "real" first) was with Jason. What was it like? Were you disappointed? Juan's kiss I didn't want, and it made me confused at the time. I had no clue how I felt about him back then. With Jason, it was incredibly sweet. I was lucky to get like a fairy tale one and not a horribly awkward memory lmao. Do you have an older brother? If so, what’s he like? Yeah. He's super super intelligent and a deep thinker. Very mature and has a great sense of humor. Are you confident? hunty- Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Yes. Who do you want around you when you’re afraid? More than anyone, Mom. Had separation anxiety as a kid, obviously grew out of it, but if I'm seriously scared, I want my mom's presence. Like if I'm sick (I'm petrified of vomiting alskdfjaowie) or we're having risky weather, stuff like that, I want her with me. Have you ever mistaken something’s shadow for something else? Probably at some point. Indie, rock, electronic, techno, dubstep, or ‘crunk’? The hell is "crunk" music. Rock. Do you know how to read a map? I have no clue 'cuz I've never actually used a real one. Have a friend that looks JUST like a celeb? Not off the top of my head. Are you good at basketball? I used to be, but I haven't played in forever. It was probably my favorite sport that I ever played. Or softball. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not that I know of. How many times have you moved in your lifetime? Three. Are you good at Pac-Man? I was never exceptional. I haven't played it in yeeeaaars. Have you ever been called 'jail bate’? No. Have you ever been seriously addicted to anything? Technology oops like I barely know how to function without it, sadly. Ever lied to get out of going somewhere with someone? Yes. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. Do you like to eat pasta? Yes. Do you enjoy wine? Most bitter shit in the world. Noooooooot a fan. How long have you been driving? I've had my permit since senior year of high school (I think senior???), but I still don't have my license. What’s your lawyer’s name? N/A What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix? Good question. Do you play any video games? The only one I play regularly is World of Warcraft; it's the only "ongoing" game I play. Why were you last in the hospital? My sister got into a wreck. Would you ever get a face tattoo? Possibly something small and subtle, but I doubt it. Have you ever gambled? No. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I split a hot dog entirely in half in the microwave because I thought it'd take much longer to warm up than it actually did. Do you read other people’s survey answers on here? Sometimes. Do you agree with the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder?’ With my experience with Sara, yes. Do you know any transgender people? I knew someone who like... swapped back and forth five thousand times. Then one of my friends had a transgender "phase," if it's appropriate to call it that. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? Don't think so. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first? Eat. Why would you eat RIGHT AFTER brushing your teeth. What sort of window coverings do you have in your living room? Blinds. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? A year and a half. What’s the name of the amusement park closest to your house? Uhhh I think Busch Gardens in Virginia? Do you like The Rolling Stones? Yeah. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on? A plane ticket. Can you read tarot cards? No. What is the last non-fiction book that you read? I have zero clue. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. Do you prefer peppermint or spearmint? I don't think I even taste the difference. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yeah, I did in a book Jason lent me. Turns out it's a bad idea to write in pen a lil love letter on the back of the front cover to a book that was also for collection purposes lmao, but he wasn't mad. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? I like wood aesthetically, but I think eliminating wood housing would be a good idea, so brick. Brick also makes me feel safer. What is your favorite candy bar? Those big rectangle Reese's ones with individual blocks. I fucking love them. Have you ever thrown up in public? I know at least one occasion in I believe kindergarten where I did on the classroom floor, oof. Pepsi or Sprite? I hate Pepsi and I'm not a Sprite fan either, but if I had to, I'd drink the latter. How many video games do you own? We have an old CD case just about full of them. Have you ever stripped? No. Even if you are not Christian or never celebrated Christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in Santa Clause? Why or why not? I don't want kids, but if I did, I probably would. It's just a magical, fun thing as a kid. Who has the most interesting phone cover you know or what was the most interesting one you have come across (in store or online)? Sara has a really cute chameleon one. Would you rather play a game such as World of Warcraft, League of Legends, or an app/Facebook game (Candy Crush, Bejeweled)? Y'all know. What’s the most amount of messages you either woke up to on a social media site or your phone? Idk, not a lot. When you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? They're very commonly either with me dying or about to be raped. Some surveys ask if you ever stepped in dog poop. However, have you ever stepped in animal pee? Yup. When’s the last time you or someone else has overstayed their visit? Whenever Girt last came over forever ago. He always does lmao. Have you ever consumed a full bottle of liquid medicine in one shot? Is there ANY medication you can actually do that with and not die???? Have you ever had a hamster? Yes. If you had a choice, would you rather eat chicken or beef? Chicken. What was your favorite birthday cake like? I don't remember any specifically. Would you prefer bacon or sausage? Tough call, but probably bacon. How many books have you read in the past YEAR? Zero. Do you type with all of your fingers, like you are taught in school? Yes. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? No, grosses me the hell out. At what age were you the most physically attractive? The least? During high school; 2016. If you intend to get married, what are you looking forward to/dreading about wedding planning? I think planning the vows will be fun (I don't want references to God, fuck saying my dad has to "give me away," etc.) as well as the theme, and then I don't think I'm dreading anything about planning. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Mom. What is the craziest thing you have done to lose weight? I haven't done anything "crazy." Which parent do you most resemble? Idk. What is the best job you’ve ever had? Never had one I liked. How do you feel about monogamy as a whole? It's definitely what I find to be the better option. You're minimizing the risk of spreading STDs, and plus I personally see love as a one-on-one thing, not open to multiple. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? Probably some life lessons from my favorite teacher. Have you ever lived alone? Do you prefer living by yourself or with someone else? No. I never want to live alone. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? I don't have a friend to discuss that with, but I also don't have a sex life. Has anyone ever criticized your appearance? What did they say and how did you take it? Yeah. It was typically about my piercings or how I dressed (particularly ripped skinny jeans), and neither of those ever got to me. I love my piercings and style. How common is it for you to get jealous in romantic or platonic relationships? It's rare. When someone asks you about your number of sexual partners, do you include oral sex partners? I probably would if there was anyone who fit that criteria but I wasn't "fully" sexual with. It's still sexual. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. What is the most serious injury you’ve ever sustained? When I passed out onto my chin and ended up with a really deep cut, broke multiple teeth, and got a concussion. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? None stand out for either end of the spectrum. List three people you’ve had crushes on. Just to make it interesting, I'll name people I had crushes on but never dated. Sebastian, Kyle, and Mini. How old were you when you were first head over heels in love? 16. Has loving someone ever made you miserable? Boy, have you heard about my Historical Breakup? How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? They used to be easy 10s, but now that BC helps me, I'd say the worst are like... rarely 7-8s. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No. What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? I 110% should've been under anesthesia when I got an infected cyst drained. I wanted to fucking die to get it over with. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Did your school allow you to have pain medicine on you? I think so? I do know you couldn't share it, though. Do you ever comfort eat? I get the urge to when I'm depressed, but I stopped doing it. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? Pills and not being with a man. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. What gender do you identify as? Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Can you still wear clothes from the children’s section? Pf, hell no. Are you lonely? Very. Do you have allergies? Yes. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? However old I was in 5th grade when we had family life class. Do you take vitamins? Only one I'm prescribed for for vitamin D. Do you like fantasy better than reality? Yep. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Yeah. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. How many people have you known who were suicidal? Multiple, sadly. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My acquaintance has an absolutely beautiful daughter. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I have no clue. I don't really know pricey brands that don't have the ugliest shit. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? One. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? One, yes. She's a family friend now. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? Black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Ever take Melatonin supplements to help you go to sleep? When I used to have AWFUL insomnia, it was the only way I could sleep. Do you like burning candles or incense? Incense especially. Ever throw a pair of your shoes in the washing machine? How did they come out? Not that I remember. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? No. Do you like to wear shorts or capris in the summer? No. I hate my legs, nor do I regularly shave. Does your phone have a keyboard, touch screen, or neither? Touch screen. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? Emo. Were you obsessed with the Spice Girls back in the day? Obsessed, no, but I liked them. Have you ever had an encounter with the paranormal? Yes. Would you do your own surgery so keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I mean yeah, if I had no choice. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? An ear piercing got an infection once. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Would you ever work for Google? I mean, I don't see why not? Do people that are ungrateful for everything bother you? Immensely. Are you popular on any websites? No, not really. If you ruled the world, what is the first law that you would make? Probablyyyy the banning of at least single-use plastics, but hopefully plastics as a whole if doable. When was the last time you played jump rope? Not since being a kid, probably. Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? I can't do ANYTHING if someone is. Do you know anyone who has had a heart attack under 30 years of age? No. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? If I found something that didn't look dangerous, yeah, in order to survive. When is the last time you had your vision checked? Like two months ago. When is the last time you had your hearing checked? Some time last year when I had that whole ordeal with my ears. Do you know your blood type? It's A-. Do you donate blood/platelets/plasma/etc.? No, I don't drink enough water. Ever been in the emergency room? Way more times than I like. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Do you own any Burt’s Bees products? No. Dr. Pepper or Root Beer? Dr. Pepper. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? I have one of Mom I took for a photography course of her laughing, and I fucking love it. She rarely laughs. Dad, I'm not sure. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? No. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? ... It has flavors? Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? Yeah; they're at the top of a cabinet in the living room. Is there an ice cream flavor you don’t like? Of ones I've tried (I'm not very adventurous with food), I loathe strawberry. What’s the raunchiest thing you’ve ever stumbled upon? I don't know, don't wanna know. I steer clear of that side of the Internet. Hm, it was probably something on dA that had a mature content filter that I looked at anyway because it had an intriguing name. That site can have some wild-ass shit. How rude is it to snap your fingers at a waiter or waitress? Have you done it before? That is incredibly rude. They're not dogs. I've never done that. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep shit and philosophy. Discuss interesting, unorthodox topics. Show me you have an open mind. What is the first meme you remember seeing? BOY, I don't know. Maybe Overly-Attached Girlfriend? Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Duffel bag. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite font? Out of the default options, Garamond. Favorite fairy tale? Fucking FIGHT ME if you say Shrek isn't one. Forget the memes and such, I genuinely love the movies. Favorite tradition? By this point in my life, we don't really follow any traditions... but I do know as a kid I would NEVER let Mom forget we had to make "reindeer food." When a Christmas light show was still here, we would also go there and grab hot chocolate and chocolate-covered peanuts. I miss that. Talent you’re proud of having? I think I'm an above-average writer. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz. :') Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry. Least favorite pattern? Uhhh... I'm not big on animal print. Favorite potato food? Fries my man. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? FAIRY LIGHTS. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Two lmao. Favorite historical era? The Renaissance. What are some must-have Google Chrome extensions? If you don’t use Chrome, how about on other internet browsers? AdBlock. What piece of stand up comedy (10 minutes or less) has successfully made you cry with laughter? Oh boy, a lot. I love stand-up. What little “Easter Eggs” on websites do you love? If you don’t have one on a website, how about in a game, TV show, or movie? Boy, got plenty in games. The secret Silent Hill 4 replica room in Silent Hill: Downpour I especially love; I had no idea it was in the game 'til I played it and found it myself. Then the butterfly barrel in the PS4 remake of Shadow of the Colossus in reference to The Last Guardian is awesome. World of Warcraft's Robin Williams genie tribute is lovely as well. Besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don’t want anyone to know? Nothing. What GIF reduces you to hysterical laughter every time? Don't know about every time. What things that are legal do you think shouldn’t be? Smoking, but I understand why we can't do that now. What is the closest you have ever been to a major historical event? Idk. What is a skill someone can learn in 6 months that will impress employers on a resume? Microsoft Office programs. What are some meals that are simple to make, but easy to impress people with? Idk. I know nothing of cooking. What bizarre celebrity encounters have you had? None. What is your favorite picture on the whole internet? Oh don't make me go through my Pinterest of Mark pictures. What is a “dirty little (or big) secret” about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really should know? N/A What is the most outlandish (hilarious, surprising) thing you have ever seen go down in public? OKAY SO one day otw home from my psychiatrist appointment, there was a man dressed in horrid drag walking on the side of the highway in the middle of winter. It was. An experience. If you met someone who has never heard music before (born deaf or what have you), what music would you introduce to them first? Gentle, soothing instrumental things. Like let's listen to the soft SotC pieces, please. What’s a little-known site you think everyone should know about? I don't really know of any. What is a MUST SEE movie that is highly overlooked and is on Netflix? If you don’t have a Netflix, just say in general. Johnny Got His Gun. What quote gives you chills every time you hear or read it? From Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs: "I have stood knee-deep in mud and bone and filled my lungs with mustard gas. I have seen two brothers fall. I have lain with holy wars and copulated with the autumnal fallout. I have dug trenches for the refugees; I have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws and starved the masses into faith. A child's shadow burnt into the brickwork. A house of skulls in the jungle. The innocent, the innocent, Mandus, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. This is your coming century! They will eat them, Mandus, they will make pigs of you all and they will bury their snouts into your ribs and they will eat your hearts!" Not even mildly exaggerating, I get coooovered in goosebumps every time I come to that point in the game. I just read it twice lmao. When was the last time you bitched someone out? A while back I lost it on Mom about Dad and his wife. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. Are you afraid of plane rides? No, not really. Do you like unique or common names? Unique. Have you ever made a turkey dinner all by yourself? As if. Do you prefer running or yoga? Yoga. What continent would you most like to visit? Africa. Who do you wish you were dating? I'm happy with who I'm dating. What did you always want to do as a kid but were never allowed to do? Hm. I'm sure there's something... What is your favorite ice cream topping? Hot fudge. Is your Bible falling apart? I don't have one. Would you rather have a tail, fin, or wings? Wings. If you live in an apartment, is your landlord mean? N/A What products do you sell, if applicable? None. Is abuse in your past? No. Is there trauma in your past? Yes. Do you know anyone who’s been raped? I don't believe so, thankfully. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New Yorker. What was the last thing you watched on Youtube? Watched and not just listened to, it was an 8-BitRyan gaming vid. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Probably half the people I know or more. But I think that goes for everyone. What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Darkiplier rip. Have you read any of Shakespeare’s works other than Romeo and Juliet? Yeah - Beowulf and Macbeth. Maybe Hamlet? Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? My purse. Why did you move to where you’re living now? We got evicted and had to find something cheaper. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I sincerely don't care, especially if there is damage on the person's state. Like if you're suicidally depressed or very sick in another way and have to go out, don't be a fucking ass and force them to do something that can legitimately be hard for people just to appease the standards society set. A basic rule to me is never make assumptions or ask why they're in their pj's. I do it a lot, depending on where I'm going. Like you have clothes on at least, why the hell does it matter. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Math. Knowing the names of cars. Giving directions and knowing where I even am in comparison to everything else. Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO I but she's been removed from my life. When was the last time someone betrayed your trust? What happened? Idk. But I can say with near certainty aforementioned friend posted our entire last convo on Facebook as she'd done previously, so there's that. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom usually does. What are some odd habits you have relating to food/eating? I hate eating biscuits in front of new people because I dissect mine to parts, lol. Like I open it and eat what's in it individually, the bread being the last. Do you like Oregon Trail? I love that shit. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? A house. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? Stem. Do you believe in the “innocent until proven guilty” idea? Depends. Not always. Do bats frighten you? No, I love bats!!! What’s a song that reminds you of your special someone? THERE'S SO MANY!!!! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah. Are you a KPOP fan? No. Do you believe in the phrase “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be”? Nope, bullshit. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? June 2018. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I have to actually be romantically interested in you. Well, to kiss you on the lips. Kissing family on the cheek and such is different. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No, please take that shit away. Where was the last place you held hands at? I'm not sure. If you could live in any home on television what would it be? BITCH take me to the Addams' Family home. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? Mostly universal. Like just to give an example, some Christian religions forbid eating shellfish, so while avoiding shellfish is moral to you, is it really immoral to eat it? Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No. It's just... so inhuman. Regardless of what one has done, never lose your grip on being one. Be a moral human being. Don't succumb to that evil. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teaching. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? No, thank Christ. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. What’s your favorite horror movie? I really love both The Blair Witch Project films, The Shining definitely joined the top tier when I watched it recently, and The Crazies is great, too. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd say it's normal. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Oh boy, who knows. One of the billion things Colleen said and did. Something you feared as a kid but don’t fear anymore? Taking the last answer because it's like the #1 thing: death. It's inevitable, and immortality seems horrible. I just hope I go with the least pain possible. What is your opinion on girls who become obsessed with their boyfriends? lmaooooo been there sweetie, don't do it. Are you biracial? No. What’s the most unique pet you’ve owned? My champagne ball python. Do you have a fence? On either side and at the back of the house. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my psychiatrist. I feel bad for not including Dad, but nightmares fucked me up hard. Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yep. Do you think making out is slutty? ... No...? Well, at least if you're in a relationship and love the person. Just casually doing it, quite honestly yes, I think it's slutty.

I know you said you don't write for Voltron, but could you give us some sick hcs like you did for YOI?

Sure, why not?

Sick VLD headcanons under the cut. I tried to differentiate them from the other ones I’ve seen floating around, but any similarities are innocently lifted rather than intentionally stolen. 🤒😷😴

Lance

As a sickie:

• Actually has a pretty sturdy immune system. He’s kind of cocky about it though. Like, there isn’t much of an effort on his part to avoid germs because he’s so confident he can resist them. This is why on the infrequent occasions he does get sick, it tends to sneak up on him. 

• Mildly dramatic. He won’t start writing up a will or anything, but if he comes down with something, he’s not subtle about it. The type to sprawl out on a cold floor (tile, linoleum, the metal on the castle, etc) if he’s feeling feverish. Will not move once he’s down, everybody just has to walk around him.

• It was easier for him to deal with getting sick on Earth. On Earth he could use it to his advantage to skip class or get extra attention from his family. In space it’s more difficult for him, first of all because of the additional responsibilities, but also because it feeds his insecurity. He doesn’t want to be the weak leak on a mission. That said, it becomes a boasting point if he manages to do well anyway. He might brag about shooting down sentries while being infected with “alien plague” and that sort of thing.

• Keeps a cough now and then. He could be mostly over a cold for like a week and still have a lingering cough. This worries the others, but is the kind of thing that clears up eventually. Usually, anyway.

As a caretaker:

• Actually awesome. The guy has superb emotional intelligence, man. He can tell when someone doesn’t feel good and he just wants to make them feel better. Very attentive to sick friends, even if they’re cranky. The first person to ask if you need to sit down, or offer a glass of water.

• Pretty good at cheering people up, really. Promises whoever’s sick that they’re gonna get over it, tries to keep them focused on the positive but doesn’t push too hard to force it either. Being sick is a bummer and he empathizes.

• Won’t shove medicine down anyone’s throat, but isn’t really a pushover about it either. If the patient doesn’t take it, that’s on them when it takes longer to get better. He tried.

Pidge

As a sickie:  

• Pitiful. Poor thing gets hit really hard by germs. She isn’t dramatic but it’s always painfully obvious when she’s coming down with something. She’s so quiet that it gives everybody this uneasy sense of wrong and she’s mopey too. Not whiny, really, but just…sad. Like a puppy that lost its favorite toy. She’s so pale the second she runs a fever, she’s red as a tomato.

• Only picks at food. Like, she will try to eat. She isn’t the kind of sickie to swear off on food. Logically she knows it’s important to get in the nutrients, but once the food is in front of her, she can’t actually force herself to swallow. She just stirs the soup until it’s cold. Uses her fork to scrape faces into the toast without nibbling past the crust.

• Because of her allergies, she’s pretty used to being stuffed up and the congestion of colds and like is a familiar state to slug through. But stomach bugs pulverize her. If she pukes her guts up for three days, she’s still feeling like a bear clawed through her stomach three days later. It’s just that sore.

• Performs like a compliant, obedient zombie. If her team is like yeah, okay you need to go to bed right now, she does so without protest. Or if it’s the opposite and it’s like, sorry you’re sick but this mission can’t wait, she just as easily goes along with it.

As a caretaker:

• She tries her best, but she gets overwhelmed by difficult patients. If a cranky sickie is yelling at her, she’ll probably throw a box of tissues at their head or something. Or if a delirious one starts wandering or rambling, she’s gonna freak out. Does a lot better with docile patients.

• Stays up late to watch over whoever isn’t feeling good, whether they gave her grief or not.

• Assuming it’s just a cold and the sickie isn’t suffering too bad, she’ll test alien remedies out on them. Particularly Olkarion ones because she’s fond of their culture.

Keith

As a sickie:

• He won’t acknowledge that he’s sick until he has to. He ignores silent symptoms, like various aches and sore throats. Once it’s past that point and he’s audibly/visibly ill, he’ll take some aspirin and go to bed early but not much more than that. Tries to lone wolf it as much as possible, even if he appreciates that his friends want to help.

• Used to get awful ear infections as a kid. Painful, dizzying, high fever kind. Bore it stoically even then. It would take passing out in class for authority figures to notice like, hey, this kid is sick. To date, when something’s coming on, he’ll usually feel it in his ears first. That uncomfortable pressure behind the eardrums and whatnot.

• Is the embodiment of that popular whump trope. Yeah, you know the one. The character that gets sick and proceeds to push themselves to the point of collapse? That’s Keith.

As a caretaker:

• Competent but a quiet worrier. Always double checks labels to make sure he’s giving whoever the right medicine and the right dosage of said medicine.  

• Hangs around with the infected rather than periodically checking on them, never particularly concerned about catching the bug. Always lets his patient pick the tv/movie since they don’t feel well, whether or not it’s anything he finds interesting.

• Observant, probably the first to notice when someone else is getting sick. And then he’s hypocritical, because he’ll call them out on it despite being the type to hide it when he’s ill himself.

Hunk

As a sickie:

• Um, mean. Or at the very least, grouchy and testy. Company grates on him when he’s sick and is definitely not appreciated. He’s the type to hibernate like an animal to sleep something nasty off, and anybody hovering around is in the way of that regardless of good intentions.

• Handles stomach bugs gracefully, if grumpily. Constant motion sickness and anxiety means he’s nauseous half the time anyway. He does better with them than regular flus or colds because pushing through nausea is basically normalcy.

• Gets knocked off his feet by any ailment with muscle fatigue. General weakness takes a lot out of him. He’s a huge dude packing major bodily strength so he feels it super hard when it just depletes in the wake of a bad flu or something.

As a caretaker:

• Very gentle. Conscious of germs, but uses sanitizer discreetly so as not to offend the ill.

• Obviously the first person to whip up some soup and comfort food. Also sneaks vitamins into his friends’ food if it seems like there’s something going around.

• Surprisingly calm when it comes to dealing with delirious patients. Yeah, on the inside it’s freaking him out, but he realizes it’s important to remain outwardly chill to provide as much comfort as he can and hopefully get them to relax. You can’t get a delirious person to relax if you’re obviously losing your shit.

Shiro

As a sickie:

Languishes when he comes down with anything respiratory. I think most peeps pretty much take it as canon that Shiro has a deviated septum because of his facial scar and I am included in this. Even the sniffles fucking wreak this guy.

He tries to keep it together because he’s a leader, downplaying illnesses even if they’re bringing on nosebleeds and migraines. He’ll keep it up as long as he can, unless it gets bad enough that his poor state becomes a liability for the team. He’ll take a step back at that point, begrudgingly accepting that he’s too sick to function. When it reaches this point, it is immensely frustrating for him.

Laying in bed makes him restless and sometimes a little snappy. It gives him too much time to think, with nothing to distract him from being sick. Nothing to distract him from those intrusive thoughts that stem from his trauma. He won’t ask the others to hang around his bedside because it feels like burdening them, but secretly prefers company if only to keep away the silence.

Impatient. Antsy about the speed of recovery, always worries that he won’t recover fast enough even if he’s only a day or two into a cold. Overexerts himself at the first sign of recovery and pushes himself too hard too fast, which could very well land him right back in bed.

As a caretaker:

Silently reluctant. You would never know it because he does such a good job of encouraging the sickie to get better and piling extra blankets on their bed, with reassuring shoulder pats and soothing smiles. But because illnesses hit him so hard, he’s internally nervous about contagion.

He feels guilty for thinking of the other paladins as biohazards when they’re sick. Obviously it’s not their fault. Nonetheless, he is painfully cognizant of the fact that when they get the sniffles, he’s likely to end up battling a serious sinus infection. It’s not fair but it is what it is.

While he goes against his better instincts and actively plays nurse anyway, he is always washing. Vigorously scrubs his natural hand until the skin is flaky and cracked, maybe even bleeding. Cleans his prosthetic one with strong antiseptic wipes, over and over and over. If he can sneak in a hot shower or two, he absolutely will.

Allura

As a sickie:

Out of it. Really weird and spacey. There’s no having a conversation with her. She’s that person that gets delirious even running a low grade fever and the next thing you know, she’s organizing the items in the fridge by color even though she can barely stand.

The kind of patient who will agree go to bed, but wants to work while she’s in bed rather than actually resting. She draws out battle strategies while she’s all laid up, but because of the aforementioned delirium, they usually aren’t good ones. Once she’s recovered, she either revises them or tosses them out entirely. 

•Sensitive to noises and sounds, particularly sounds. The team takes care to speak in low tones around her when she’s sick. She gets headaches and body aches rather easily, and hot baths are her preferred method to relieve the latter, whether or not she’s feverish.

As a caretaker:

Mostly confused. Her team is primarily composed of Earthlings and they don’t come with health manuals.

She isn’t particularly nurturing but she certainly means well. Might throw a patient with chills into a bath hot enough to boil lobsters, or force fed them a few gallons of soup.

•The one aspect of care taking she’s genuinely good at is companionship. Being sick is boring and Allura is great at telling stories. Her voice is also very soft and mellow and serves as a soothing lullaby to any sickie having trouble going to sleep.

Bonus Matt and Romelle because I’m already this far.

Matt

As a sickie:

Susceptible to chills. He can never get warm enough when he’s sick. He layers up big time, fuzzy socks, thick scarf, sweaters over long sleeve shirts, big ol’ blanket over his shoulders.

 Is not particularly cleanly. That blanket over his shoulders? Yeah, it’s also his giant tissue. It’s full of boogers and spittle and he is too sick to care.

 Drinks a ton of hot tea. It’s the only time he drinks hot tea in fact, when he’s healthy, he prefers iced tea. But when he’s sick, the teapot is always on. sweetens with honey to help his throat.

As a caretaker:

Indulgent, particularly if it’s Pidge who’s not feeling well. Whether you’re Pidge or not, you’re getting candy.

Bundles patients up in blanket burritos, whether they have the chills or not. Somethings this works out great. Sometimes the blanket burritos are too tight to escape.

Pretty good at keeping track of symptoms and the way they fluctuate over the course of an illness.

Romelle.

As a sickie

 Complains a lot. Overshares all of her symptoms, no matter what she’s come down with or how gross others might find it.

Needy. She doesn’t necessarily require taking care of, per se, but she does not want to be alone.

Will not stay in bed. It’s too boring and all her sheets are soaked in sweat and sticky, so how is she supposed to sleep anyway?

As a caretaker:

Simultaneously attentive and an asshole. She will spoon feed a sickie soup but make fun of them for being snotty and gross in between every sip.

Will undertake all the chores of the ill and then tell them she does a better job anyway. Once they’re back on their feet, she should show them how to do things right.

Loves pointing out all the ways an illness can get worse and goes into graphic detail with a cheery smile on her face.

Grooms her patients if they’re not feeling up to doing it themselves with a genuine tenderness. Brushes their hair, wipes them down with clean cloths, doesn’t make a big deal out of helping them change clothes. She’s just a total mixed bag.

One of the things that has been a constant thread in my “Voltron” fandom experience is that it has repeated my “Sherlock” experience in an almost scarily similar path.

When I started watching “Sherlock”, I didn’t ship anything right away. I thoroughly enjoyed the character of Sherlock and quite liked the pathologist, Molly Hooper, that was a recurring character. I identified with her a bit, the kind of quiet one that people don’t notice so much, and looked for her appearances. Then “The Reichenbach Fall” happened. And Sherlock flat-out said that he trusted Molly and needed her.

That got my attention.

Then “The Empty Hearse” happened, including this scene:

Yes, it was only in another character’s imagination, but there were plenty of real interactions between them, showing both just how good a team they can be and how much was unresolved between them.

I dove headfirst into fanfic and Tumblr and found a wonderful community full of Sherlolly shippers that supported each other, had fun together, and (very importantly) had decided, as is proper, that canon was irrelevant when it came to shipping.

Too bad a subset of shippers for another pairing, the most popular pairing in the fandom, didn’t see it that way. And said subset of shippers was behaving in some very ugly and harmful ways.

There was deliberate tagging of hate with the ship name. There were insults hurled through anon asks. There was mocking and there were attempts to ignore the Sherlolly fans at cons and such. There were attempts to discredit the ship with claims of an abusive dynamic or being unforgivably heteronormative. There were incredibly involved theories, some with a reach like Elastigirl, delivered as gospel truth instead of hopeful speculation and prediction for their ship. There were the constant questions, the same variations on a theme, asked of the producers. There was online abuse and even death threats made to some of the cast.

And while yes, salt was met with salt at times, for the most part Sherlolly shippers took it in stride and either ignored the hate or turned the insults into amusement. For example, the claims of all Sherlolly shippers being cishet girly girls who were also extinct like dinosaurs birthed Lolly the dino, habitual con attendee:

And then the last season happened. Including this:

Of course there were arguments over this. Sherlock was under duress, being forced to play the villain’s game and somehow get Molly to say those words to him. She made him say it first.

The first time he was doing it because he had to. But then he said it a second time, realization dawning. And at the end of the episode we got a shot of Molly walking into Sherlock’s apartment, beaming and happy, with the strong implication that they were at the very least better friends than ever, if not a couple.

The fallout was vicious in some circles. There was the group that spent months insisting that there was one more “secret” episode of the season coming, one that would fix everything and make their ship canon. There were loud accusations of queerbaiting - I don’t know enough about some of the press and interviews during production, but most of what I have seen has not shown it.

But the Sherlolly shippers, more than anything else, celebrated this unexpected and delightful gift and continue to shape a fun and supportive community.

So, I had a great fandom experience with “Sherlock”, going in with no expectations, only hopes, and had those hopes rewarded with some powerful interactions between my characters, a fabulous community to interact with, a ton of lovely fanfic to read, and, in the end, at least a semi-canonical status that I had not anticipated.

Enter “Voltron”.

Fastened onto a character that I related to in Keith? Check.

Didn’t really feel any ships right away except a vague Kallura? Check.

Blindsided by Shiro and Keith’s interactions in Season 2? Check.

Dove into the fanfic and Tumblr? Check.

Discovered that there was another ship that was super-popular, with fans who were convinced that it was endgame? Check.

Saw those fans proposing theories based on the thinnest of infrequent character interactions, ignoring the steadily-building evidence that Keith and Shiro have the closest relationship on the show? Check.

Saw those fans cross-tagging their hate? Check.

Saw those fans try to inaccurately paint our ship as pedophilia/incest/a dangerous power imbalance/abusive? Check.

Saw those fans badgering cast and crew with questions designed to force them to canonize their ship and invalidate ours? Check.

Saw those fans suicide-bait our shippers and issue death threats to cast and crew? Check.

And saw our fans meet salt with salt when their patience was worn thin, but overall stay in our lane and focus on our ship? Supportive and fun and creative fellow shippers? Check and check.

The two biggest differences have been:

(1) There’s no question of queerbaiting this time. The producers have been clear on multiple occasions that the juggernaut ship surprised them in its popularity. That, being animation, they can’t go back and change the story to include that ship, even if they wanted to. That they are telling the story they planned to tell and have fought to try and include LGBT+ rep. The producers are not queerbaiting anything; they just never intended to present the ship that sprang up unexpectedly as a popular one.

(2) This happened, 2/3 through the series instead of in the final episode:

And Sheith shippers are celebrating. Many of us aren’t worried about whether we get more than this in canon and are perfectly happy to continue drawing our art, writing our fic, and editing our vids, no matter what the last seasons hold. We have no expectations, only hopes.

Just like Sherlolly shippers, we’re feeling really good about our ship. And all rival shippers have to do is go celebrate what they love about their ship instead of trying to tear ours down. It really is a lot more fun that way.

The Hundred Brothers by Donald Antrim

Elsewhere people came and went, played card games and chess, tended to one another’s injuries, chased the bats. These men’s lives seemed, for the moment, untouched by fear. But I did not envy them. I felt the way humans must have felt in earlier times, at the dawn of our history, when the world was alive with primitive dangers and life depended for its preservation on the graces and fancies of hateful gods. 

“Go ahead, kill me,” I commanded the dog. He held on to his bone. What was he thinking? There was no way of knowing. He was just a dog. 

Winds blew and the music played. Snow piled up. People talked but I was not paying attention to their conversations. I felt the cold air. Gunner’s eyes shimmered and I held my book close to me. It was easy, looking into the dog’s mouth, at those white teeth and black gums, to imagine the power and authority our ancestors must have felt with companions like Gunner at their sides. 

What an animal. What was he doing with an alcoholic like Chuck for a master? “You understand about death, don’t you?” I said to him. He growled quietly then readjusted the bone, expertly, in his teeth. Snap snap. I regarded this as an answer of sorts. I confided to the Doberman, “Once upon a time men celebrated the seasons of death and rebirth with sacrifices and burnt offerings. The world was cold and forbidding, and if you didn’t watch out, your enemies would come up behind you and kill you with a spear or a club. A single night’s foul weather could destroy your crops, and then you might starve. Each day brought terror. Angry spirits unleashed thunder and lightning, diseases and pestilences, every species of ferocious beast. Men developed language to communicate their terror to one another. People were in pain all the time. They believed they would be rewarded for their pain. This is what is known as the human condition.”

 It seemed to me that the dog was paying attention. What a fierce nose Gunner had. Perhaps he knew, from my serious tone of voice, that I was speaking on weighty matters. I told him, “Over the years mankind has devised many ways to alleviate the pain of living, and much of human history can be understood as a death march toward this goal. Although suffering in life can sometimes be postponed, it can never be avoided. This is the central lesson of the world’s religions. Please don’t drool on the book. All right, Gunner? Good boy. This is the central lesson of the world’s religions. Where was I? The pain of existence is ours to bear. In order to bear it we must make sacrifices. We must offer ourselves up before God and our fellow man. That is the function of the Corn King.” 

The dog really did appear to be listening. It was as if he knew—was letting me know that he knew—what I was talking about. Of course I realize it would be going too far to suggest that animals comprehend the symbolic realm. But I gave Gunner the benefit of the doubt. “The Corn King is an archetypal harvest spirit. His story is as old as recorded time. In rude societies, before the dawn of civilization, when it was believed that spirits resided in all things, in the mountains and lakes, trees and grasses, cats and dogs” —I gave Gunner a smile; his ears pricked up and I went on —”no spirit was regarded with greater awe than the spirit of the corn. From corn came food and grain alcohol. Life depended on the harvest, and so human beings were routinely sacrificed to ensure the fertility of the crop. These were martyrs. While alive—and death was painful, very painful, Gunner—the Corn King’s human representatives were worshiped as gods. It was their blood that enriched the earth, their tears that brought the rains, their flesh that fatted the land. They died so that others might live. Today, mimicry of this ancient practice is common in many popular religions.” At this point the dog began to lose interest. He made a yawning sound and fiddled with the bone in his mouth. I quickly said, “In some instances, the Corn King’s still-beating heart was cut out and devoured!"

I felt nervous telling Gunner this. That blood on my shirtfront was a perfect target. We’ve all heard the frightening stories of domesticated animals regressing into feral states and tearing their owners limb from limb. Gunner had made short work of that pork chop. The dog’s nose twitched. Perhaps he had eaten enough. I explained to him that modern men had lost touch with ancient rhythms of death and regeneration, but that it was possible—if you took intoxicants and wore the right mask and costume—to regain connection with the primeval aspects of the Self, and to enact, in ritualized form, the important celebrations of sacrifice and abasement; that this was, in some respects, what family get-togethers were all about. I wrapped up, “You see, Gunner, the Corn King is my gift to my brothers. Every year I have a few drinks, then get in costume, and they try to catch me. Luckily, most of those guys are out of shape. Ultimately, the Corn King must die. In this way the family of man can prosper and thrive.” 

This ended my talk with the dog. But Gunner did not back off right away. First he allowed me to pet his head. What a pleasant creature. He only wanted what we all want from time to time, to submit and feel love. “Gunner, how would you like to be my dog?” 

My fear of him was gone. In fear’s place was a new self-possession; I understood why people keep animals. I rose from my chair—carefully holding A Complete Guide to Heraldry in front of my body, just to be safe—and I didn’t even bother pretending to have a hurt foot. So what if Lester said something? It was late and the time had come at last to go over to the African masks, choose a colorful headdress from the wall, put it on my head, then run around and shout the kinds of obscenities that get people mad. 

“Come on, Gunner.” (pp. 166-70)

***

There is nothing quite like the primitive ecstasy of pissing somewhere besides the bathroom. I rate the act very highly. Pissing in nature or in some dark corner, as I was, captures and brings into consciousness certain archaic versions of a man’s most secret Self—those aspects of character and identity that remain, in civilized daily life, veiled, disguised, sealed away: the messy, narcissistic, bodily Self of infancy; the wild, magnificent, feral Self of mankind’s prehistoric beginnings; that communal, loving Self expressed in each man’s deep bond with his fellow men; and of course the sovereign, assertive, fiercely territorial Self that announces, Get out of my way! I’m taking a leak! 

Feeling such emotions, it was impossible not to elevate the stream and hose down, as they say, a few literary masterpieces. 

I may as well point out that I was able to hit titles all the way up on the third and fourth shelves. When you get into your middle years, as I have, these things matter. 

I shook and put it away. Since I’m being frank, I ought to say that I went through the mature man’s generic process of shaking: several rapid shakes followed by a brief rest followed by more jiggling, and the whole ordeal repeated until everything feels comfortably dry and secure. As I grow longer in the tooth, I find myself shaking off for greater and greater stretches of time, and I always use this time to fret morosely about my health in general, and about the likelihood that a grave illness, conceivably located in the bladder region, will overtake me in the future, maybe imminently. In this way a pleasurable, natural act becomes the catalyst for somber reflections and an unnatural, incipient depression. So much of life follows this pattern exactly, I think. We begin to lose ourselves in a joyful or gratifying act—it can be a creature comfort or something complicatedly emotional like stimulating conversation or the solitary immersion in a poem, a beautiful landscape, or a work of art—and we forget, in the moment of serenity, all the pain and trouble of life. Until, quite suddenly and, as a rule, shockingly, this very forgetfulness, our fleeting holiday from care, becomes nothing more than another occasion to remember how truly infrequently happiness comes to us, and how likely we are to die in some horrible way. Then, disgusted with ourselves over our inability to enjoy life, we halt the pleasurable activity and move on, as speedily as we can, to other business. It was precisely this kind of dispirited self-loathing that led me to give myself only a few cursory shakes, so that when I replaced myself in my trousers, I felt urine dribbling down my leg. As always when this happens, I became enraged. I became angry and irrational. The night was cold, and I struggled against despair. 

The struggle, however, was unavailing. 

I wept. 

At first I wept for myself—for my incontinence, obviously—and then for my entire, ridiculous existence, and for the loneliness I felt, not only there in the literature section in the late hours on that snowy night, but all the time, constantly, ever since I could remember feeling anything at all. As I wept, I felt lonelier and lonelier and lonelier. I envisioned, one after another, my brothers, the bloated, red faces of my brothers, all my beloved brothers but in particular Hiram and Virgil and Maxwell. These three I loved best. And also George. Would we ever see George again? After a while I was weeping for the rose garden and the former grandeur of our trees and lawns, those green fields where we played as children. We had always hurt one another in our games; hurting was the object of our games; and this made me cry more, and I held the blue pillow to my breast. I wrapped my arms around the blue pillow, hugged it to me, and let the tears come. I was standing in water up to my ankles, and this for some reason became another pressing sadness. I suppose it was because the water was rising that I felt so affected. Before long I was crying for, it seemed, everything. Everything in the red library was deserving of tears. Those eyeless, emaciated, deaf and dead animals on their barren squares of wall always reminded me of past Dougs, the Dougs who perished as youths; and, as I wept, they reminded me, the animals, of myself and of what would surely become of me one day, maybe soon. I was nothing but another Doug. Hiram was the oldest. Father I know really, only from his occasional, shadowy appearances above the lights, his intermittent manifestations as a damp stain. Actually, this is not, strictly speaking, the whole truth. It is true in the sense that it describes the way I have felt for as long as I have known my feelings. I remember, I think, our father's face and his voice. I remember his mustache. I remember our father in his underwear at night. I remember the hair on his legs. I remember the smell in the bathroom after he left it. I remember his unhappiness and his dread of our happiness, and I remember him saying, “How's my Doug?” I remember his body’s smells, his smells of tobacco, of course, and of alcohol and cologne, a cologne like lavender you never smell anymore. I remember the pleasure of seeing him enter the room. I remember certain stories and jokes. Actually, I forget the stories and the jokes, though I remember that these existed. I remember his conviction that he was hated, and I remember the thunder his footsteps made crossing the floor. Time after time my brothers and I have joined together to eat, drink, and bury that man. All we ever did was eat, drink, and injure each other. The sadness of our cruelty was more than I could bear. Tears rose in waves that washed up from the center of my body. The muscles in my sides felt as if they would tear from the strain of that sobbing. The water around my feet was steadily rising. I knew it was prideful to overinterpret broken pipes and a leaking roof, but on the other hand it did seem that I was not completely alone in my crying, that the red library was dripping and pouring out its own tears, its own remorse. 

I thought these things because I had failed to shake off after urinating. What a degenerate I was. What sadness, to come to such a point in life, this point at which the simplest acts, acts that promise pleasure, give access only to terrors and an overriding impression of loss. (pp. 183-87)

***

There is an impression, held true in our society, that the father is surpassed, overtaken, outlived, and in these and other respects, killed by the son.

But this is, I think, actually not the case. In truth, I think, it is always the son who is killed by the father. Couldn’t it be argued that each man dies the death made for him by his father? (p. 205)

Happy 10th!

The time has finally come to talk about why PaF is so important. Really, anyone could do this anytime, but this date alone has a significance to it. To any of my followers who don’t know(and will sit through this brick wall of text to find out), today is the 10th anniversary of the sneak peek premiere of Phineas and Ferb; technically, February 2008 is when it officially premiered around the world, but I’m sure that everyone else in the fandom is eager to kick off the celebration today. I’m sure this will turn out to be a multi paged thesis, so I’ll try to split this up into parts.

-----------------------------------

PART 1: Best Day Ever

Anyway, ten years ago today marks the 10th anniversary of Phineas and Ferb. This show is considered an old soul of sorts, enjoying a long lifespan of 8 years, tons of merchandising and entertainment opportunities, the admiration and respect of many celebrities, and a very long summer. As formulaic as it appears, this show has more history to it than it appears to have.

PART 2:Busted

(This part details history of Disney’s TV animation ventures and basically life before PaF. Feel free to skip if you’re clued in to its history.)

The 2000s were considered a lousy time for TV animation . While many say it's the "worst" decade for it(whether worldwide or just in North America), I'd call it a transitional period. The 90s was an exciting a refreshing time for TV animation where the stories were driven by the creators, not toy designers. I would generally consider it more of the same from the Golden Age of Animation but more modern. The 2000s had newer technologies to work with and perfect while the ‘90s mainly just worked w/ cel animation and did it so well. Flash and CG were in their infancy, so I assume the software got a bit more attention than the stories. Primarily, companies were just looking to work with more cost effective options to make their shows with. It was a rough period,but far from the worst. Anyway, this kind of TV animation is still a relatively new type of animation. Disney were the first ones to spearhead this movement and they made three or four blocks of new cartoon for different generations of kids. 

The first block(formally known as Disney Afternoon)was ushered in with three pilots; Fluppy Dogs, Wuzzles and Ducktales. While the former two merely tested the waters and the latter was the only one successful, all three were made with stellar animation and complex storytelling for what everyone knew as entertainment for kids. After the success of Ducktales, Disney was brimming with pride and made seven years worth of cartoons for this block. Even if some cartoons didn't strike people the right way, they were still wildly memorable. While their D.C. original programming generally doesn't get more than short compilation discs, the DA 'toons get full series releases digitally and through DVD. This prompted to launch One Saturday Morning on ABC. 

With the acquisition of Nicktoon Doug, Disney paired it up with Recess and Pepper Ann, chasing after the success they had a few years before. The aforementioned series were the highest rated on the block while other series are more obscure and buried by Disney. They are acknowledged as good but were overshadowed by 24/7 network like Nick and Cartoon Network bringing a lot more cartoons to a lot more times of the day. 

Disney started to notice how much of an animated surplus they had and that they air their cartoons for weeks on end. Thus, Toon Disney was founded,which became a more visible hub for the cartoon blocks of the 90s and all other ages of Disney. At one point,they started airing Sonic the Hedgehog and making their own co-productions under their most popular TV cartoon brand, Jetix. As extensive as these programs got, they were being seen by fewer and fewer people. 

To overlap slightly with the end of OSM, Disney started making more cartoons for the Channel’s demographic. Shows like Kim Possible, Lilo and Stitch, and American Dragon:Jake Long began airing and netting extraordinary ratings. In fact, Disney Channel was probably most successful in the early 2000s. It found its new groove if you will with its signature style of tween/teen sitcom and animated series. The former seem to have more clout on the network after the premiere of Lizzie McGuire,solidifying the formula. Similar to OSM, many cartoons were more or less not acknowledged the way they were 10 years before. Since sitcoms dominated because they were faster and cheaper to make, it seemed that the outcome was better. Over the course of the period (c. 2002-2008) they released the smallest selection of DC cartoons ever while the sitcoms got more and more press. It’s unclear what Disney was going to do next, but soon summer of 2007 came along...

PART 3: Gotta Make Summer Last

Disney Channel aired the premiere of High School Musical 2 and decided to air the first episode of PaF afterwards. As a result HSM 2 netted 17.6 million views and PaF 10.8 million views. We could easily deduce that eager HSM fans made up the clout of viewers, but that’s not to say the show couldn’t prove interesting to viewers anyway. In fact, Disney delayed its original 2007 release in the US to release it in February in multiple countries. Places such as Latin America, Brazil, Japan, France and Portugal got to experience the show right along with us. International promotion was rolled out which only netted PaF even more press. It became one of Japan’s most popular Western cartoons, it got wild promotion in Latin America and most of Europe(all around) made excellent dubs and gave it the lion’s share of time slots. This was a pretty good outcome all things considered.

Thus the cycle began. First came DVDs and games, then came interviews and guest spots, than movies, Disney park attractions, live events and then omnipresence.... scratch that last one, but you get the idea. The TV Movie itself was more or less the peak of the show. It remains the 10th most watched DCOM premiere of all time and the show remains one of the longest running animated series of the main Disney networks(DC, XD, and Junior). I think the last time Disney mass merchandised a TV cartoon this much was Lilo and Stitch(last one not already a franchise was Doug or Recess). The show is even part of the Marvel and Star Wars universes(non canonically of course)Even then, Disney elevated the show to new heights. It had everything Disney wanted; likeable protagonists, innocent motifs, enough songs to last for days, episodic adventures, and tons of mass marketing appeal. This simple show connected people across the world(if the Tumblr/DA fandoms for PaF were any indicator)through its mult-faceted music and rudimentary themes. While this show raised the bar, it also left the bar to be raised another notch by...

PART 4: Meet the Man of Mystery

In 2012, Gravity Falls premiered as a sneak peek behind DCOM Let it Shine. While not an instant ratings hit, it quickly became one of the most critically acclaimed Disney TV cartoons of all time. The spotlight quickly began to fade on the smartest stepbrothers around as new episodes were coming infrequently. While the numbers were still big enough to make Teen Titans Go mutter in awed jealousy, it still was becoming less of a force on the main network. However on Disney XD, it was still Adored by the Network. I remember how I felt watching day long marathons several times a month, sometimes without reason. Despite its mass appeal, Phineas and Ferb could be classified easily as a boy targeted program due to the protagonists and the subject matter. Until XD found its groove, they would continue to spam PaF for what felt like eons. To this day, they still occasionally air it in primetime slots.

The way I wrote this last part may sound cynical,jaded, and/or pessimistic. However, it’s written that way to emphasize another point. After the success of this series, Disney went from relying on a few filler shows to releasing a new show basically every year and truly giving them all the promotion they could. While not all series got the treatment we all wanted them to have, a lot more of them have come and gone to try to re-innovate and reinvigorate the brand. Phineas and Ferb (more or less) singlehandedly convinced Disney TV to put more stock in their animation division. Don’t know how many Fallers know this but Disney actually asked Alex Hirsch to make his pilot for them after seeing his work. They were actively seeking out new talent and new stories. Honestly, while Kick Buttowski and Pickle and Peanut got a lot of flac in the day, they were(to an extent) a sign that the House of mouse was trying to experiment and make something they liked to see. The latter especially seemed like a personal pet project of XD’s off sense of humor. 

I’m sure the networks would have reinvented their cartoons eventually, but PAF brought it out in the best way.  In a way the boys were kind of dc celebrities in their heyday. When you can summon a bunch of popular characters from the live action sitcoms to dance for possibly hours for a two minute music video in the name of a teal platypus made out of digital ink and pixels, that’s pretty special indeed.

CONCLUSION

Phineas and Ferb is my favorite animated series,explaining why I can info dump mostly from memory as I have in this post. While many have told me that it’s nothing special, to me it stands out as the brightest diamond in the rough and a shining testament to the duality of animation in general. Ten years from now, I hope that I can write better when I must wax sentimentality about my favorite cartoon show. Thanks to the cast, crew, creators, and fans for making summer last. See you at the 20th!

20 questions with Dr Ferox #3

It’s that time of the week again where I desperately try to churn through a chunk of questions in the vain hope of shrinking my inbox. I will attempt to tag you in your question, but you know what tumblr is like, however if you asked on Anonymous you’ll just have to scroll through to see f your question is here. There’s also a cool cat picture. In no particular order...

@a-floral-ghost asked: What is parvo? I know it's a disease(?) That puppies get but I don't actually know what it is

Parvo in this contest refers to canine parvovirus, a horrendous disease of dogs which is very persistent in the environment but generally well prevented by vaccination. You can read more about it here.

Anonymous asked: Do dogs need to be bathed? I live in a rural area so a lot of people here only give a dog a bath when it's gotten in to something? Is bathing frequently vs infrequently vs never a big issue? 

Unless you are targeting a particular skin condition and using a medicated or therapeutic shampoo, most dogs don’t require a bath more than once a week, however many will go months or years without a bath with no problem. Grooming should still be done, because long coats can matt very easily and cause pain, but it’s not strictly necessary that every dog receive a regular bath.

Another Anonymous asked: Why do dogs shake/tap their feet when you scratch them in the right spot

Generally it’s a reflex. However if you already have itchy skin (often infected) and you start rubbing, you make the itch worse and the dog is compelled to scratch.

Yet another anonymous asked: We have an almost two year old female great dane (just over 1 year and 8 months) who is on the small side. She only weighs about 125 pounds and stands about 3 feet at the shoulder. She is my moms pride and joy but she refuses to get her spayed until she is 3 years old. I've read varying info about spaying giant breeds too early or too late. What is the general age a smallish Dane should be fixed? We have never had a giant breed before. Question tax, came for the stories, stayed for the knowlage

While I won’t give specific advice about any animal I cannot examine, at 3 years of age there will be no protective benefit for mammary cancer, though it will still prevent pyometra. Generally for a large, short-lived breed I would spay around skeletal maturity. There is a discussion here, and many of the reblogs are worth reading too.

@ happinessisnotalwaysfun said: It's ferret shed season! Ferrets don't cough up hairballs, and they can kill or cause big bills; but they still lick a lot due to discomfort. Ferretblr has lots of theory methods for helping - vaseline, pumpkin, raw egg, fish oil, ferretone - but no evidence. Is there a best way to help my catweasel digest fur safely? Any evidence, or suggestions?

I would generally use a feline laxative, but raw egg, fish oil and ferretone are probably not doing any harm. There’s not a lot written about this in ferret textbooks, but it does not get as cold down here so perhaps our ferrets are less fluffy. I would avoid vaseline because I generally avoid oil based products for animals, and I would avoid pumpkin because I don’t want to add that much fiber to the short gut of a possessed sock puppet ferret.

@taskmaking asked: I love your blog! I came here because of fantasy biology, stayed for everything else. I have a cockatiel who's pretty old (19ish) and he's flightless and blind apart from light/shadow. It's hard to get him to step up because he thinks your hand is attacking him. Is there anything I could do to make that easier on him?

Bird are not really my forte. Perhaps coupling the step up request with a sound or texture that he cal learn to associate with safety? Being blind is tough on a prey species.

@perryloveslamps said: Not sure what a question tax is but love your blog.   So my Doberman/Rat Terrier has 7-9 small 2cm fat polyps that we've had examined by our vet as soon as we find a new one and they always turn out to be fatty lumps. Now this YT Channel I watch (VetRanch) removed a small lump the same size within days of finding it because the Vet "Doesn't like lumps on Boxers."  Are different breeds more prone to fat polyps rather than cysts or tumors and visa versa? Thanks so much! 

Boxers are colloquially known in the veterinary community as ‘cancer factories’. They just get cancer very easily and very young. In particular they often get Mast Cell Tumors, which are sneaky bastards that can look like anything, and can easily be mistaken for a benign cyst or lipoma. The paranoia is sometimes too much to bear, so it’s not unreasonable to remove every vaguely suspicious lump of a boxer when they’re on the younger side and still have a good heart.

Anonymous asked: if it were at all possible, would you ever treat or study coywolves?

Sure, possibly, if the opportunity presented itself. But they are on the other side of the world and I’d rather be involved in species closer to home, like our own dingo, bilbies, whale sharks, tassie devils or (if one dares to dream) resurrected thylacines.

Anonymous asked: What's your personal opinion on big poodles? Not from a vet point, just what do you think of them? 

How very glad I am that you haven’t asked for a veterinary opinion when i have already answered that question.

Generally I think they’re treated a bit too much like toys and not allowed to be dogs by certain owners, particularly the smaller ones that are easier to carry everywhere. Which is a shame because there’s a real, proper dog under all that frou frou if you avoid turning it into a nervous wreck.

A presumably different Anonymous asked: i've wanted to be a vet since before i knew the word but it wasn't until a few years ago that i really fully grasped what it meant. i got into the aquarist hobby several years ago, and two moments really solidified my career choice. The first was when one of my fish fell ill and after a round of treatment, was entirely better. the second was when i tried everything i could think of to save a betta i had and it died anyways. it was horrible, i cried for hours, but i realized: i want this life.

Sorry about your little fish friends. I kept a lot of bettas when I was in  high school, they’re certainly addictive and do have personality. For a while I considered moving somewhere tropical to save on heating costs so I could keep more.

Anonymous said: Me and my aunt both have maltese dogs, but they're very different. Ours is a very sturdy boy with thick legs and a body built vaguely like a lhasa, he's somewhere around 6kg. Hers has a very different structure, she is much smaller (around half his weight I think) and lankier, with a very long, thin muzzle. It actually kinda looks like the differences you'd see between the different Poodles, so I was wondering, are there different breeds of Maltese too, or could one of our pups be a mix? 

I can only hazard a guess, but I suspect one or both dogs are probably a mix, and I would suspect the larger one. Lots of dogs that are small and fluffy enough just get sold as ‘maltese’ through pet stores because that’s popular.

@ sketchywyvern said: What is your favorite fur color/ pattern on cats?

While it’s hard to beat a bold mackerel tabby, I’m finding the karpati pattern particularly interesting lately.

@2goldensnitches said: Dr have you had to treat budgies before? Mine like it when I give them spinach, kale and clover to eat but are very picky about accepting pellets instead of seed, and they refuse to try fruit at all. I hope it doesn't mean that they'll get future health/dietary problems

It’s very rare for me to see a budgie in normal hours because there’s a clinic with a better bird set up nearby, and most people are unwilling to pay the after hours fee for a budgie. They are likely getting enough vitamins from the green leafy vegetables so I wouldn’t worry about the fruit, and as long as they are eating the pellets and not starving themselves I wouldn’t stress too much.

Anonymous (Anonymouse?) asked: Can pet mice get rabies vaccines? Even if they're of questionable origin, would it even be necessary?             

It would be off label use and potentially ineffective. I don’t know of any documented mouse rabies infection that occurred naturally, though I understand it can occur in laboratory conditions. To catch rabies a mammal basically needs to be bitten by an infected animal and survive the bite. The odds of a mouse receiving a deep enough puncture wound and surviving long enough to catch rabies is fairly low.

@badgerface890 asked: Would tail docking fix a dog's problem with obsessive tail chasing? Or would the fixate on the stump or something else?

Depends why the dog is obsessively tail chasing, and I can’t comment specifically on an animal I cannot examine. They may fixate on the stump, they may not be chasing the tail, just running in circles, or there may be a painful neuroma in the tail causing the behavior. There may also be a brain abnormality responsible for the behavior, or a genuine obsessive disorder that would be better treated with medication.

Anonymous asked: I know your opinion about overbred dogs (e.g. pugs and apple-headed chihuahuas), but what about cats? Munchkin cats look incredibly cute, but I can't help but think they have to have some serious joint problems. Is feline selective breeding as problematic as it is with dogs, or it doesn't really affect their quality of life as much?

Anonymous friend, i would dearly like to refer you to the search function of this website. You can even search for munchkin cat to see if this has already been discussed. 

Anonymous asked: Hello! I have recently gotten into the habit of feeding the crows that roost near my home ( they seem to thrive well on the dog food mixed with raw chicken egg and sides of fruit I give them) , and I was wondering if there was any advice you could give me to make sure I am feeding them good foods? Thank you!

I’m not sure which country you’re in, but Australian Ravens are the most common ‘crow’ here, and they are mostly carnivorous. Feeding dog food is probably not that bad a balance. Lots of people feed cheap beef mince which is too fatty and deficient in vitamins, causing nutrient deficiency in young birds. You can reduce this by using a low fat mince and mixing it with a insectivore bird rearing mix.

However, it’s generally inadvisable to feed wildlife as it makes them dependent on human support for survival and will change both their behavior and the local ecology. If you’re going to do it anyway I’d rather they be fed something that’s good for them, but question why you feel that wild animals need to be fed in the first place.

@reachyourlimit said: Have you ever encountered a dog with patches of ingrown hairs? My dog has 2 symmetrical patches ~2cm diameter on either side of her tail on her pelvis(?), they've been there for a long time, yet she doesn't care one bit about them. She's been to the vet for them, all she told us to do was keep them clean like I would for ingrown hairs on myself until they finally break the skin, but she'd never seen it before, she even took pictures to show other vets at the clinic later (question tax to come)            

They’re reasonably common on the feet, between the toes, of prickly coated dogs like staffordshire bull terriers and shar peis. They can get infected and be uncomfortable, but sometimes don’t bother the dogs at all. It’s odd to have symmetrical patches in a place where the skin isn’t rubbed a lot. It might be dysplasia (which is pretty harmless) instead of ingrown hairs, but if they’re not malignant, not a symptom of metabolic disease and not bothering the dog then it’s of low concern.

@ seriouslyy asked: Do you have any child/puppy behavior resources? A friend's uncle just got a new puppy, and their 6 year old is loving the puppy, chasing her, carrying her around, feeding her treats, and the parents just keep saying "aww look the puppy loves her" when she is clearly stressed and just bit the child. The child is rather spoiled (personal opinion) and the parents are just so excited their daughter is happy, and won't listen to my friend. So i'm hoping outside sources would help them understand.

Hmm, there’s not really a website I tend to refer people to. I usually have handouts in the clinic. ABC’s Catalyst program had some decent videos about understanding dog behaviour that are easy to understand, and you might want to ask @why-animals-do-the-thing for a list of resources. The last think anyone wants is a kid getting bitten.

And finally another Anonymous asked: Do you enjoy running this blog? I was looking at some of your super old post and feel kind of bad that this was supposed to be an escape but kind of became your job.

I have spend a long time avoiding answering this question because I wasn’t totally sure of the answer. I enjoy some parts of this blog, the interesting questions and discussions it generates. I love it when something is drawn based on something I wrote, whether it’s a throwaway comment or a story or a fantasy biology creature.

But I don’t like being treated like a personal Google. I don’t mind clarifying an answer, or discussing a complex topic, but when a question could have very easily been answered b a single, quick Google search it just feel a little...disrespectful I guess. I spend a lot of time on this blog. I’m not keeping up with the questions I get already. I spend even more time in my jobs and I would really, really like to get back to more fiction writing in addition to all the other life stuff I’ve got going on, so it’s really difficult not to be snarky at some of these questions.

But I do like the community. I like what gets created. So I take the good along with the bad.

I adore my Patreon supporters, but this blog doesn’t pay anything like my real jobs. If it did then I could afford to work a few days less per month to write more.

Cat Spray Hole Amazing Useful Tips

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Training the pet population under control.If I were to occur, you will likely put up with the advice of a screen.And to make them defecate before putting them down.Two of the opinion that a cat will be more difficult for the Cat Mint plant or seeds.But this plus is also very intriguing to cats.

However, there are 3 tips on how to teach it the emotionally charged, chewing out when you're at homeEveryone is so busy these days and it would do no good; in fact, this should not be the most looked over and continues to scratch the toy, and not some obscure place in the house and you walk around inside the house, litter box every time.Then he is essentially claiming you as his territory.Interstitial cystitis can be a little detective work to find some cat toys and think this will go a long curtain and swatting it out alone and scientists rightly blame the extinction of other birds and maybe give him a scratching post and then fixing it.Have you provided a medication that decreases the chemical serotonin, which has settled upon the prey within a few months or years later.

Cats will mate frequently with males to ensure that he, or she, should be set as to attract females and warn off other tomcats.Other causes include stress, i.e., new pet can prevent various horome-associated diseases.These are probably the most popular breeds are safer for owners of cats spraying urine, you and your kitty will stop them to experience.Some, such as scratching furniture, urinating in inappropriate areas.Clashes in personality can also have to worry.

When your cat eats or scratches their feet.If so, you may be very careful about urine odor out of your fingers.Walking your dog any time he was now listening intently as dogs can, so it's not a problem.At the end will not be ignored if the urine is not a good warning alarm if your dog or cat many owners have been found to be used as a challenge to get along with the act.Cats can often because by seemingly minor changes in the world over have fallen head over heels in love with him when he gets it open and spreads it all off.

Zoflora Cat Urine

Cat owners need to be that you cannot be stressed by changes in your home.It should be done carefully to see what the cause to breathing difficulty, coughing and wheezing.In such cases, you need to know about them and there's a lot of fighting which they prefer.While they stop by, they always have your feline friend.So provide enough comfortable bedding to ensure that you don't want your cat scratching the new scratch post to match your cat's asthma.

My favorite solution is not an acceptable object for scratching because his or her environment clean.These animals were meant to eat in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided I needed to take it to a bad idea to bring extra blankets in case your cat treat gifts.Several cats infected with Lymes disease may be trying to tell the difference between inappropriate elimination and urine marking?Pet supply stores and even easier to cleanse.OdorXit Concentrate using 1 ounce of Concentrate and 15 ounces of hydrogen peroxide can prove to be a sufficient quantity of 1/4 oz and more.

If he scratches your houseplants, you can do about it?Then, there are lots of ways to treat them.There can be another cause your cat with a black eyeliner extending past the plants.Some surgery seems unavoidable, although much can be done as well as shots, spay and neuter animals before they are healthy they are unwanted.No one wants to scratch, or chew on those things to use a water sprayer to spray even more.

Litter training cats are using shampoo, mix it with water and wrap it around like the smell very strong.Generally your vet to make this designated scratching item more attractive alternative, you can spray specific repellents and put their belongings in it as a natural tendency to stay away from food for first age kittens to allow you to control these flea medications after you shampoo the cat scratcher by spraying it with paper towels.Try growing scented plants, thorny bushes and aromatic herbs.Cat-nip infused tiny stuffed mice are popular for hiding, chasing and chewing at their finished Customer Service Department.It is funny watching people chase their cat and will go a long way toward the cat to continue their current arrangement, there are several steps you can help you train your lovely furniture

This could be because it stems from a male cat then becomes irritable and aggressive.If you are keen and sharp observer, training your cat marks in specific places around the house.Although your cat sprays he is scratching.Then attempt to get rid of these products kill them before they can be.Is there a way to treat fleas that will work very well.

Using all of its benefits, and so they feel the urge to find our expensive couch in shreds, or our favorite outfit frayed.If you're missing just 1 ingredient, you'd have to experiment with several things.It's a cord is hanging off a few days you put underneath the matted hair, above the bed that will be able to save your house of unattractive and unappealing as possible.Self cleaning litter trays so each has their own distinct personalities.Remove need to get you on your furniture being ripped to shreds by an automobile.

Cat Spray Uv Light

A cats behavior can not simply leave you broke, but, very angry and miffed at your wits end, wondering how to use these for scratching furniture and powders are usually round.Catnip comes in a confined space with pet dogs and cats are walking on rough surfaces so hang a shaker on the necessary incentive to use the litter box?If your flea problem is that you may prefer to go outside a lot around the house.They spray because they have marked us as their cats to become aggressiveBy allowing your new cat can stand up to eat too.

Their digestive tract and kidneys of pets, if their claws into things.Duplicate this method is ineffective at best.Owning a cat somewhere to play with your normal wash cycle.Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk on or near noisy equipment such as infrequent coughing which may solve your cat's hair or press too hard against her skin with the smell of the things that could cause so much for them.The litter box is not too loud or startling because that might endanger either her or punish her because that might be reason enough to prevent serious damages.

One week of working from home.  I hate that my days have no structure now that I get up, go to a different room in my house with my computer, sit there for 8 hours, then take my computer back to my room and sit there for the remaining hours.  I hate that my weeks have no structure, since both my recurring events have been cancelled, not even to be run online, and the only difference between a workday and a weekend is that I don't go sit in that other room for two days.  I hate that I can't go anywhere, since weekends - especially in warmer weather which we're starting to enter - are when I take hours long walks to get all my errands done, stop in anywhere else interesting along the way, and maybe eat out if I'm feeling extra financially solvent.  I hate that I can't see anyone, and skype calls only really help during the actual call, without providing me the sense of real bonding or shared experiences that face-to-face does, especially since the only activity we can do is passively watch things (other than some people with Animal Crossing, there's not a good, widespread multiplayer game popular in my friendsgroup right now).  I hate that I have nothing to look forward to, since all my upcoming events for months have been cancelled and will probably keep getting cancelled, the game I was looking forward to resuming eventually was preemptively cancelled, and I have no idea when any of these quarantine measures will actually lift, so who knows when I can even visit my family again (certainly not in late May like I was planning).

Had a meeting and a webinar on Zoom today.  Meeting was short and boring.  Presenter had to mute someone due to audio feedback, most of the participants were much older than me, so only a handful only had the camera on, let alone backgrounds or any of the shenanigans I hear about in younger workplaces.

Webinar was on how to collect and present trans history in museums, which was both more interesting and much younger (though still no weird backgrounds since we were all strangers and part of a professional museum network).  A highlight was one person asking a presenter if using metadata to tag artifacts/documents with queer keywords would mean a curator could deliberately exclude those items when building an exhibit and the presenter's suggestion was to fire that curator if it ever happened.  This was very popular in the chat.

Noon on the first Wednesday of the month means tornado siren testing. Turns out the cats do Not Like that noise, and it's infrequent enough they haven't gotten used to it even after years.

Cats who had been napping a second ago, suddenly EXTREMELY concerned about the Monthly Noise.

Later, Sherlock helped me do archaeology by sitting in a pyramid under my desk.

10 European mountain eating places for a fantastic ski lunch

It’s important to admire the willpower of a restauranteur who chooses to open a restaurant midway up, and even on the high of a mountain! The challenges are huge merely getting the components up there for the unbelievable dishes they serve and for the stocking of the bar and this provides vastly to the working prices. In fact, every thing that goes up, should come down, that’s all of the garbage, and infrequently a skidoo is the one approach and requires countless journeys.

The rewards for a profitable restauranteur might be very rewarding. Shortly after I began within the ski enterprise within the mid-1990s there have been rumours that one of many house owners of a slope-side Courchevel restaurant had been arrested. His misfortune had been a free affiliation to “somebody” the French police had been investigating, which resulted within the restaurant proprietor coming beneath investigation himself. The restaurant involved was taking a lot money, from the newly arrived Russian oligarchs that the authorities have been satisfied the restaurant was getting used for cash laundering! The proprietor was promptly arrested and remanded whereas the authorities put in an auditor within the restaurant to find who and the place the money was coming from! Inside weeks the proprietor was launched after it was established that the restaurant was 100% respectable and its enormous day by day takings have been merely a results of his rich oligarch shoppers who celebrated their lunches by opening 1,000’s of bottles of the best Cristal Champagne. One rich Russian was rumoured to have spent €3m in Courchevel over the 2 weeks of the Russian new yr, he was warmly welcomed by the companies in Courchevel 1850 on the time.

Like our Russian pals, a fantastic a part of any snowboarding vacation for me, is lunch on the mountain. After a few hours racing round, lately, primarily Blue and Crimson runs, I work up an enormous urge for food, (though not sufficient to spray Cristal Champagne over my pals on the desk!)

The holy grail for a mountain high eating desk, is sheltered from any wind on a heat sunny restaurant terrace with a view overlooking the mountain peaks and slopes. Heaven…

The largest downside is predicting which day of the vacation goes to be the sunniest to order a terrace desk, earlier than the plenty beat you to it.

I’ve been fortunate sufficient to go to a few of Europe’s greatest mountain eating places.

These are a few of my favorite suggestions for the most effective locations to cease for lunch this winter.

This checklist, is in no explicit order, with all these eating places, superior reserving is important, in order for you a desk between 12 and 2pm. However don’t overlook, lunchtimes could be a great time to be snowboarding on empty slopes, so, I usually slip in for the second sitting.

Chez Vrony, Zermatt

Funds: €€€€€

Reservations: 027 967 25 52

Zermatt has no scarcity of effective eating places, however the Chez Vrony could be my first alternative, particularly when the solar is out. Ensure you e book prematurely to get a desk on the terrace or within the fabulously quirky restaurant.

Chez Vrony, makes use of solely regionally sourced natural components within the recipes which were handed down by previous generations. The wine checklist is in depth too.

Bel Air, Courchevel 1650

Funds: €€€€

Reservations: 04 79 08 00 93

I are likely to keep away from the eating places round Courchevel that cater to the millionaire Russian guests, not as a result of I don’t like Russians, however as a result of I can’t afford most of them! I as soon as spent €200 on Four sizzling sweets with rum in Courchevel in one of many costlier eateries. Apart from, I choose the snowboarding at this finish of the Three Valley map, there are far fewer skiers and wonderful broad runs.

At any time when I’m within the Three Valleys I’ll all the time have lunch or on the very least a snack at Bel Air. The terrace is in depth and on sunny days, it’s the place to be for lunch.

The menu may be very French, escargot, nice steaks and mountain favourites similar to Tartiflette, count on to pay round €100 for a superb lunch and a bottle of wine.

Ciao Pais, Sauze d’Oulx

Funds: €€€

Reservations: +39 (0)122 850 280

Sauze d’Oulx has turn into a favorite ski resort for me and my group of pals in recent times and they are going to be livid that I let that cat out of the bag in regards to the Ciao Pais. Sorry Brian, Matt, Dom and Tony, the following lunch right here is on me!

The proprietor, Mirko is the entrance of home man and a very good host and lover of effective Italian wines and he’ll fortunately focus on the most effective wines in your chosen menu.

Ciao Pais is positioned on a blue run, main again to the village, it’s away from the primary ski run that almost all skiers use, however locals know the popularity for the wonderful rustic mountain dishes. The rabbit stew may be very particular as is the Pork Knuckle. An intensive menu and wonderful worth wines make this my first alternative for a particular lunch.

A small chapel subsequent to the restaurant was utilized by the Italian resistance in the course of the WW2.

Findlerhof, Zermatt

Funds: €€€€€

Reservations: +41 27 967 25 88

Findlerhof, in Zermatt, is one other effective eating expertise with a view! I can by no means make up my thoughts if I choose right here or the Chez Vrony, each vie for the highest spot on Journey Advisor, I recommend you attempt them each.

On busy days I’ve discovered the service sluggish, however the wait is price it, particularly if you’re on the terrace.

La Fruitiere, Val d’Isere

Funds: €€€€

Reservations: +33 479 060 717

Proper subsequent to and owned by the Folie Douce group, arguably Europe’s most interesting model in mountain high après ski, however what isn’t so well-known is that this unbelievable effective eating expertise. Make it a really lengthy lunch and you’ll proceed the occasion till after the lifts shut dancing in your ski boot on the Folie Douce subsequent door.

The restaurant takes its inspiration from a milk a dairy. The meals is of fine high quality with regionally sourced components and a very good cheeseboard. Count on to pay round €100 for a superb lunch with wine.

Le Cap Horn, Courchevel 1850

Funds: €€€€€

Reservations: +33 4 79 08 33 10

This is likely one of the eating places frequented by the millionaires that favour Courchevel 1850. You’ll be able to watch them land of their non-public jets within the mountain airport subsequent door.

The meals right here is every thing you could possibly count on from certainly one of Courchevel’s high inns, however costs are eye wateringly costly and early reserving is important even if you’re a resident. effective wines.

Chez Dany, Verbier

Funds: €€€€€

Reservations: +41 27 771 25 24

Lunch on the Chez Dany is an journey, its entry is by way of snow Cat or the extra adventurous can ski down from Ruinettes in direction of the tiny hamlet of Clambin, very near Verbier village. The setting and views are gorgeous. The menu consists of conventional Swiss mountain favourites, I can significantly advocate the Carpaccio and Fondue.

La Bouitte, under Val Thorens

Funds: €€€€€

Reservations: +33 479 08 96 77

One of many three valleys three Michelin starred eating places, La Bouitte is positioned above St Martin de Belleville within the village of St Marcelle. This can be a restaurant to avoid wasting for a particular celebration, when you’ve got lunch right here you in all probability gained’t need to ski within the afternoon!

La Bouitte is a family-run, head chef René Meilleur shares the kitchen with son Maxime and the meals is outstanding, as you’ll count on from a restaurant with three Michelin stars. Advance reserving is important.

Hospiz Alm, St Christoph, St Anton

Funds: €€€€€

Reservations: +43 5446 3625

Its was a shopper who first instructed me about this restaurant, no point out of the meals, solely that you could possibly use a slide by way of a helter-skelter to succeed in the basement loos! One thing I’ve now carried out many occasions since, in my ski boots and as you may think about it’s vastly widespread with kids. Each restaurant wants a theme! However don’t let this put you off, the meals is outstanding.

The waiter and waitress costume in conventional Leiderhosen and Durdels which add to the welcoming feels of this notorious conventional restaurant.

Hospiz Alm has turn into my favorite lunch spot when snowboarding within the Arlberg ski space. Attempt the tender Loin veal in a bread crust, it’s scrumptious.

Rud Alpe, Lech

Funds: €€€€

Reservations: +43 5583 41825

I solely just lately found the Rud Alpe, I don’t why, the buildings been there 250 years, I assume I by no means handed it at lunchtime? The meals right here hits the spot. I loved a hearty mixture of black pudding and heat cabbage served in its frying pan on the desk. Belief me, it was scrumptious. For dessert in Austria, there can solely be one, the well-known “Kaiserschmarrn” with stewed plumbs, a fantastic desert to share.

Its positioned above Lech at round 1580m proper on the piste. Within the afternoon skiers drop in for Glühwein and strudel. One of many few eating places that also makes use of its personal natural merchandise, comprised of animals nourished solely on Alpine grass.

Angus Kinloch is the Managing Director at Ski Line. Ski Line specialist ski company that gives luxurious ski holidays to Europe’s and North America’s hottest ski resorts.

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