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thebeast-dennis-etcetera · 1 month

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Remember Us

Note: I changed the request just a little to make it more authentic to the shows storyline and Gibbs’ character.

“Do you have to go right now?” you groaned, rolling over in bed to hide your face in your fiancés chest. Jethro wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss on your head.

“Things are moving quicker than anticipated. They want me on the ship asap.”

The thought of Jethro in the middle of a possible terrorist plot made your stomach twist, especially when you knew you still needed to tell him that you two were now expecting, but if you didn’t tell him now and something happened, you’d never forgive yourself.

You decided you would tell him once he was fully awake, waiting until he finished his shower and getting dressed.

“Hey Jet,” you started as he brushed his teeth.

“Hm?”

He rinsed his mouth and walked over to you as you sit on the edge of your shared bed, twiddling your thumbs nervously. He noticed and took your hands in his.

“I’m gonna be fine sweetheart. I’ve done plenty of undercover ops. This one is no different,” he reassured, misplacing the reason for your nerves.

“I know, it’s not that, exactly. I- uh- just don’t know how to say-

“What’s the matter hun?”

“I’m pregnant Jethro.”

It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop as his eyes got a little wider as he blinked bewilderedly.

“You’re what?”

“Pregnant. I’m about 3 weeks along. Just got the results from the doctor yesterday.”

He continued not to say anything and you started getting worried. Worried that he wasn’t ready. You two had talked about having a child but never really planned anything.

“Jet. Can you say something? Please.”

He finally took a deep breath and exhaled, letting your hands go so he could run them through his hair.

“Uh- this is definitely unexpected.”

“I know we’ve been careful but I think it happened that night at the Gala. We were both pretty drunk,” you began rambling but Jethro stopped you.

“Hey, I’m not mad. This is great. We’re gonna be a family.”

You smiled, completely relieved at his reaction and jumped up to give him a hug which he chuckled at.

“I’m gonna have to make room in the basement for my new crib project now. Do you like oak or maple better?”

“You choose babe. It’ll be your present to them,” you said leaned back to give him a kiss.

“Oak it is then.”

————

It was late when you raced through the entrance to the Emergency Department. You would’ve been there sooner if you weren’t literally in the middle of a major surgery and didn’t have anyone to cover for you. Luckily, the hospital that Jethro was brought to was

You spotted the sign in desk and made your way over, pulling out your id.

“I’m here to see Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He should be out of surgery by now.”

The nurse gave you a visitor badge and a quick rundown on how to get to his room. You wasted no time and it took everything in you not to just absolutely sprint down the corridors.

Once you reached the room, you walked in and was not expecting to see the Director of NCIS to be sitting at your fiancés bedside, holding his hand.

“Jenny,” you greeted flatly. She released her grasp and stood up before clearing her throat.

“I was just keeping an eye on him until you arrived. He’s in a stable condition but still in a coma. The doctor said-

“I know. He told me too,” you cut her short. You knew all about Jethro and the Director’s relationship, and for the most part it didn’t bother you because you trusted Jethro but Jenny was another story. You knew she still had some feelings for him and seeing her here with him before you irked you.

“Alright. Well I’ll leave you too then,” she stated before collecting her purse and walking out, your eyes following her all the way. Once the door shut behind her, you stood in the same place she had been in and looked down at his sleeping figure. His head was bandaged and burns adorned parts of his face, pulling at your heartstrings. Your hand found his as you leaned in to place a small kiss on his forehead.

“You said this op was no different Jet. You promised me you were going to be ok,” you whispered, trying not to cry.

For the rest of the night, you sat by his bedside, praying he’d wake up or even just squeeze your hand. The doctor assigned to him had a cot sent up so you could also catch some sleep.

The next morning, you were wakened by the door opening. Picking your head up from the edge of the bed, you winced at the sharp pain in your neck and saw Dr. Mallard standing there.

“Goodness dear, have you been here all night?” he asked, looking over at the untouched cot.

“I couldn’t leave him Ducky. I wanted to be here when he woke up.”

He sighed knowingly and pulled a chair up beside you.

“Well I hope you don’t mind if I join you for a little bit?”

You nodded and he took a seat, putting a comforting hand on your arm.

“We’re expecting Ducky.”

You didn’t mind the doctor knowing about the pregnancy. He was one of Jethro’s closest friends and you came to trust him completely as well.

“That’s wonderful Y/N. You two are going to be great parents.”

Looking at Jethro’s chest rise and fall rhythmically, you spoke lightly. “I can’t do it on my own Duck. He needs to wake up. Who’s going to make all the baby furniture and paint the nursery?”

“He’ll wake up Y/N. Just give him some time.”

You wiped the tears from your eyes and took in a shaky breath.

“I hope so Duck. I really hope so.”

————

You were literally gone for less than 5 minutes to grab something to eat when Jethro decided to wake up. You arrived to his doorway just as he got done telling Ducky he didn’t remember him.

“Jethro?” you called softly, everyone turning to look at you. You made your way over to his bedside, fearing the worst.

“Do you remember me Jethro?”

He focused hard on your face before shaking his head no. Not being able to hold back your emotions, you down in sobs and walked out of the room with Ducky following.

“Just give him some more time Y/N. Retrograde amnesia is very common for coma patients that suffered head trauma.”

He pulled you in for a hug and held him tight, hoping he was right.

————

The next couple of days were terrible as Jethro recovered physically but still couldn’t remember who you were or the life you two shared. Somehow he managed to remember Jenny and their time together which only made you feel worse but there was nothing you could do about it. It hurt so badly and had come to the point where you couldn’t take the constant rejection and decided to stay with your mother until he recovered completely.

You received occasional updates from Jethro’s team about his memory state but they never spoke the words you wanted to hear. So the only thing you could do was compartmentalize and keep your mind busy with long hours at the hospital.

The rain and thunder outside reflected your mood as you unenthusiastically put a sandwich together. You had absolutely no appetite but knew you needed to eat for the baby’s health. A knock at the door startled you as you glanced at the microwave that read 2am.

You walked over and saw Jethro standing out on the porch, soaked from the rain. You opened the door quickly, with a smile on your face but it faded when you saw his furrowed brows. He still didn’t remember you.

“I know we have something together Y/N- I get these small flashbacks, small snippets of us together, but never the full memory. The team tells me all about you and how happy you made me. I want that. I want to remember,” he started. “I need your help. Help me to remember.”

You stepped out onto the cold porch barefoot to stand close to him and did the only logical thing you could think of. You took his face in your hands and pulled him in for a deep kiss. If this didn’t work, then you were all out of ideas.

His hands tentatively placed themselves on your waist, slowly deepening the kiss as the butterflies fluttered in your chest. It happened every time you kissed Jethro, even though you’ve known him for years. When you felt his breath hitch, you pulled away and searched his face for an answer.

“Do you remember now Jet?”

Another faltered breath and he nodded his head slowly.

“You’re pregnant,” were his next words, bringing the smile back to your face.

“Yes.”

Ecstatic, you jumped into his arms and he caught you easily.

“Jethro, I missed you so much,” you breathed into his neck, tears falling.

“I know baby. I’m so sorry I took so long. Please forgive me.”

“You don’t have to apologize Jet, it wasn’t your fault.”

He set you back down and tucked a piece of stray hair behind your ear. Your clothes were damp from hugging him and the thin pajamas you had on did nothing to stop the cold stormy wind from sending a chill through you. You hadn’t realized your mother walking up behind you until Jethro turned his attention towards her.

“Look at you two, kissing and talking in the rain like some cheesy rom-com. It’s like one of Y/N’s dreams,” she teased, making you roll your eyes in slight embarrassment.

“It’s good to see you M/N,” he answered with a smile before giving her a tentative hug, careful not to get her wet.

“You too Jethro. Now both of you get home before you catch a cold.”

You ran inside to grab your purse and shoes before hugging your mom and following your fiancé quickly to his truck. Jethro drove through the streets, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your tummy.

#gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs #ncis #ncis fanfiction #agent gibbs #mark harmon #ncis request #jethro gibbs x reader #ncis imagine #jethro gibbs fanfiction

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southerngothicchic · 4 months

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Gator, honey

18+

Thinking about already lovesick Gator being made worse by getting to finally have sex with you, the girl he's been obsessed with ever since you showed up in town.

After months of hitting on you, he couldn't believe it when you actually agreed to go on a date with him. It would be the first of several, as you found him oddly endearing. His false bravado faded over time and you saw glimpses of the sweet boy underneath. He was still guarded, until you had him in your bed.

You pressed his back against the sheets, climbing onto his lap and watching his eyes widen with your movements. You lowered yourself onto him while his rough hands gripped your hips. He moaned your name as you felt him throbbing inside you.

"You feel so good, Gator honey," you sighed as you slowly moved your hips.

"Fuck, baby..." he breathed, his hands squeezing your hips.

"Just lay back and let me make you feel good, handsome," you said, bracing your hands on his chest and then leaning back to take him even deeper.

Gator's been replaying that night over and over in his head. He had never been with anyone like you, and he needed more.

A few days passed without him getting to see you, as his dad required his help for things he refused to talk about. He couldn't go one more day without you, as texts and phone calls weren't enough.

His overwhelming need for you made him drive to your house, one afternoon, hoping to surprise you. Though, once he arrived he realized you were still at work. He frowned, thinking if he had his way, you'd never work again, as you'd always be home whenever he wanted to see you.

He was about to leave when thoughts of the night you spent together reentered his mind. He wanted to feel the softness of your sheets on his skin, to feel them tangled around him again, creating the illusion of having you there. The temptation of your bed was too much as he walked around to the back of your house, hoping to find a way to get inside.

He stalked up to your back porch and went to pull on the sliding glass door. When it opened, he had a little celebratory moment, before creeping inside. He made a mental note to scold you for leaving the door unlocked, while he quietly slid it closed. Right now, he was thankful for your forgetfulness as he moved through the house. He walked down the short hallway to your bedroom, his anticipation building.

After he entered the room, he stood next to the bed, admiring how it was so neatly made. He then began undressing, not wanting anything to be between him and your sheets.

He pulled back your comforter, sending some of the decorative pillows flying to the floor. He then climbed into your bed, slipping under the sheets he's missed. He wrapped them around him while turning onto his side to bury his face in your pillow. He moaned as the faint scent of your floral shampoo filled his nose. He nuzzled into your pillowcase, wishing it was your hair instead.

Traces of your perfume lingered on the sheets as he brought them up to his nose next. Everything about you was intoxicating to him, and you weren't even here. Fantasies of what he was going to do to you when he saw you again consumed him as he stroked himself.

He inhaled more of your scent as he relived your night together.

"You mean that badge and those big, brown eyes don't get all the girls?" You teasingly asked, leaning in close.

He shook his head. "Not all the time. I've been waiting all my life for you, baby."

"Aren't you sweet," you breathed against his lips.

"Only for you, honey," he softly replied, before deepening his kiss.

"Oh, fuck..." he sighed, already panting from how hard he's squeezing himself, imagining he's buried deep inside you.

"I missed your tight pussy, baby..."

He closed his eyes, and envisioned you riding him. His moans grew louder as he pictured you throwing your head back, and whimpering his name as he thrusted up, into you.

"Shit, it's so good..." he panted, feeling like he could burst any minute.

He was so lost in the ecstacy of you, he didn't notice you were now home. You crept toward your bedroom, listening to his whiny moans.

With a smirk, you pushed the door open to see him writhing underneath your sheets. When you saw his patrol car parked outside, you thought he was just waiting for you inside, though you wondered how he got in. The last thing you expected was catching him in your bed like this.

You stood in the doorway, shamelessly watching him before finally asking: "You need some help, Gator honey?"

#gator tillman #gator tillman x reader #gator tillman smut

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ch3rry-wink · 3 months

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Snitches get Stiches (AU)

Pairing: sheriff!Miguel x f!reader

Summary: Sheriff Miguel made your life and your friends' lives a living hell.

CW: power imbalance, smut, mentions of drugs, semi public sex, oral, mentions of coercion, roleplay

Author's note: I need a better title

The story began in high school; your brother angered a young cadet from the police academy, and the guy took it out on you, following you everywhere, waiting for you to make a mistake and catch you.

In a small town, fun evenings included smoking in the forest and vandalizing abandoned properties – not the most legal activities, but you always managed to evade him.

After many years, things remained the same. Your friends wanted to celebrate your return, and you agreed. A night with a bonfire, alcohol, and drugs started off fun until he appeared.

"Damn, it's O'Hara!" Your friends scattered, and you tried to do the same but stumbled over someone's backpack.

Branches and leaves crunched under his feet when he lifted you, forcing your hands behind your head, checking the backpack.

He looked different, no longer with the perfect abs from his academy days. He had a little belly that matched his new badge and uniform – now, he was the sheriff.

Miguel kept pulling out plastic bags with all sorts of shapes and colors. This would be more than community service or a fine.

"I swear, that's not mine." You lowered your hands in a plea.

"Hands on your head." You returned to your initial position as he disposed of the backpack in the back seat. "Hands behind your back." He took out handcuffs, placing them, gently grazing your wrists.

"Miguel, this will ruin me." He compelled you into the passenger seat.

"You should have thought about it; you could have stayed home." He circled the car until he was in his seat.

"I know I messed up, but please help me."

"Tell me whose backpack it is." You bit your lip and shook your head. "I thought so. Well, princess, you'll look pretty in your mugshots."

You knew once you stepped into the station, you were in trouble – processed and sent to trial.

"Let's settle this like the old times." Miguel looked at you with interest, and you knew you had a chance.

"This isn't loitering; it's drug trafficking, and I'm no longer a cadet; I'm the sheriff. Do you know how many asses I had to kiss to achieve this?" Miguel was playing tough, but deep down, he wanted this. "So, not this time."

The trip to the station was long and uncomfortable. When they arrived, there was only the receptionist and a drunk sleeping in a cell.

"God, you've grown so much." The lady adjusted her glasses; you gave an awkward smile.

"You should go home, Dolores." The lady nodded, and Miguel led you to his office.

"Uh, special treatment, I'm a VIP member." He removed the handcuffs, and you rubbed your wrists to ease the discomfort. "Will you accept my deal?" You approached him, played with his tie, your arm around his neck pulling him towards you, giving him a hungry, passionate kiss.

"I missed you." He loosened his tie.

"And I missed you." You unbuttoned his shirt and belt, unzipped his pants, and knelt in front of him like in the old times.

He held your chin and you gave him a smile as you pulled his cock out of his pants, you moved your hand up and down until it stiffened, you stuck out your tongue and licked the tip, a moan escaped his mouth and you knew it was time to start, you took the tip in your mouth and began to slide slowly, your jaw ached and gag reflex was setting in from lack of practice and your eyes filled with tears.

Miguel had a hand on your head encouraging you to go deeper until your forehead collided with his belly, you pulled back and continued to slide your mouth and hands down his length.

"Stop please!" his breathing was forced and you smiled at him still with tears in your eyes. He helped you stand up and gave you a kiss. You missed Miguel's lips.

His hands reached the edge of your shirt, he pulled it up and you helped him pull it off your body, he unbuttoned your bra and caressed your nipples with his thumbs.

He slid your jeans to the floor, helped you remove them, caressed your legs until he reached the edge of your panties; but he didn't remove them, he caressed your folds over them.

"Look how wet you are, you sure missed me" you nodded eagerly. "Do you want me inside you?"

"Yes, yes, yes" you said between moans.

"Alright, today I'm feeling generous, I'll give you what you ask for" he turned you around and leaned you on the desk, your panties were mid thigh and he started rubbing the head against your folds, until he finally entered a little at a time, you bit your lip and closed your eyes tightly, with Miguel it always felt like the first time.

He started to move with a slow rhythm in and out, giving you a chance to get used to it and then it was brutal, he started to ram with that force that characterized him while you stayed there leaning on the desk trying to follow the rhythm and not faint from the pleasure he was provoking.

Your nails dug into the wood, your toes curled into the carpet. One of Miguel's hands was on your shoulder and the other clung to your hip, you would have marks in the morning.

His pace was brutal, your spongy walls clung to him, they wanted and needed everything he could give you and you began to feel them clench, you were so close to that moment and you just needed his cock to hit the exact spot and his fingers to make little circles on your clit to make you come.

You were deaf and blinded with pleasure, when he lifted you off the desk and kissed you.

"I missed you so much" Miguel sank into your neck.

"I missed you too" you admired the gold and diamond ring on your finger, a gift from Miguel "You are the only reason I came back to this town".

In your last year of high school, you came to hate everything – your parents, your teachers, your friends who abandoned you in the forest to face punishment. Fortunately, that never happened because Miguel had a special fondness for you. Every time, you returned home with rearranged guts and a clean record. Despite despising everything about your small town, you loved Miguel. You cherished sneaking away from home to see him, appreciating how he traveled many kilometers just to spend a weekend with you. That's why when he proposed, you said yes. It might have been a high school sweetheart cliché, but you loved Miguel and the emotions he stirred in you.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara smut #atsv miguel #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara x you #spiderman

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little-diable · 4 months

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A complicated man – Professor Aaron Hotchner (Profiling 101 Series, Part 5/?)

Chapter five, here we go! Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader enrolls in professor Hotchner's class "Profiling 101", a man she has always looked up to, a man who treats her like an asshole from day one. Will her need for academic validation manage to push the two closer together? Will her bright mind push her into the world of Aaron Hotchner and the BAU team? Will he manage to keep his distance before the world he tries to protect her from can get its grasp on her?

Warnings: 18+, some heated making out, Aaron is a big asshole in this, mentions some typical CM violence

Pairing: Professor!Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader (2.3k words)

Profiling 101 Series Masterlist

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Six

“Yes, Emily, I am on my way. I promised you I’ll show up, didn’t I?” A tired sigh left (y/n) as she watched the houses and streets blurr by, being driven to the BAU. Her heart was aching, mind racing, still hooked onto her last conversation with Aar- Professor Hotchner.

She wasn’t proud to admit that she had cried through most parts of that night, cursing herself, but mostly cursing the older man. Deep down she had expected the situation to go south, very well aware of his stoic self and the lines both had crossed.

And yet a small, pathetic part of herself had believed that everything would work out, that he’d want her as much as she wanted him. Fuck, how foolish she had been, how naive she had been, all because of a man who was almost twice her age. A man who should be more mature than how the professor was acting at the moment.

Emily had called her a few days later, quietly begging (y/n) to find her way to the BAU, since JJ was sick and they were desperate for any help they could get. It hadn’t taken much convincing, even though (y/n) couldn’t help but wonder how crossing paths with him would play out.

The brown haired agent was waiting for (y/n) to arrive, smiling at the young woman with a visitor’s badge already in her hand. Both shared a bit of small talk as they made their way upstairs, momentarily managing to distract (y/n) from her nervousness. But the second they stepped into the office, (y/n)’s blood ran cold, eyes instantly drawn to Aaron Hotchner’s dark ones.

An expression of confusion, annoyance, and anger crossed his features, instantly forcing the young woman to slow down the speed of her steps. Of course Emily hadn’t told the others about her plan, a fact (y/n) shouldn’t have been surprised about, and yet her insides didn’t stop churning.

“(Y/n)! It’s so good to see you.” Penelope was the first to break the few awkward seconds of silence, pulling the young woman into her grasp as Derek and Spencer also stepped closer. She tried to stop her eyes from searching his as her professor growled a loud “Prentiss, a word please”, but the second he had turned away, her eyes had snapped towards his frame once again.

“We missed you, sweetheart, you’re just the woman we need on this case.” Derek’s sweet words managed to make a smile tug on (y/n)’s lips, a smile that grew even bigger as Spencer quickly hugged her, and as Rossi squeezed her shoulder. But there was no time left to exchange any further pleasantries, falling quiet as the two others stepped back into the room.

“Alright, let’s focus on our case. Reid and Morgan, I need you to go back to the crime scenes, go through the events that have happened, maybe we missed something. Rossi and I will talk to the people who worked at the slaughterhouse. Prentiss and (y/n) talk to the families again, dig deeper with Garcia's help."

……

“Why didn’t you tell him?” (Y/n)’s voice filled the car, fingers wrapped around her hot drink as Emily drove them back to the BAU. With a sigh leaving the agent she let her eyes flicker towards (y/n), taking in the sad expression the young woman couldn’t shake off.

“Listen, I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but he knows that we need you, we shouldn’t let go of this chance to have you on the team. But I knew he’d be too stubborn.” A laugh left the both in unison, momentarily taking some weight off (y/n)’s shoulders. “Do you want to tell me what went down between you two?”

“You can’t tell this to anybody, I need you to promise.” A hum left Emily, wordlessly promising that she wouldn’t spill (y/n)’s secret. “We, uhm, that night where we went to that bar and he picked me up, I stayed at his place. The next morning we did some things, but then he was called back to the BAU, and it was as if the switch had been flicked, he was such an asshole to me. Fuck, I’ve been crushing on him for so long and was so happy that something had finally happened, but now - I don’t know, Emily.”

It took the older agent a few moments to ponder over (y/n)’s words, letting the story sink in before she shared her perspective on Aaron’s behaviour.

“He’s been hurt a lot in the past years, I can’t tell you what goes on inside his head, but I think he’s scared. He is clearly into you, we can all tell, but he’s your professor too, and probably your future boss. Aaron is very compliant to rules, I’d say he’s currently fighting some inner battle.”

(Y/n) didn’t know what to do with Emily’s insight, didn’t know how to accept the truth the woman had just shared. Her heart was pounding, and yet it was weighed down by what had happened, unable to shake off the worries clouding her mind. Aaron Hotchner had her trapped, perhaps without fully realising what he was doing to her with the way he kept behaving.

……

“Let’s recap what we got so far.” Aaron's voice boomed through the room, drawing all eyes to his tall frame. With one hand he smoothed his tie, eyes focusing on the picture he was holding, avoiding (y/n)’s eyes at every cost. “We know that our unsub stabbed our victim in the slaughterhouse, but the victim tried to escape, making it about a block before our unsub stabbed him again and finally killed the man. His stomach was cut open and he was beheaded, the head was left at another man’s house. Prentiss, (y/n), anything you can tell us?”

Emily’s eyes met (y/n)’s, wordlessly encouraging the young woman to speak up, leaving her to clear her throat before she took over, “Nothing we weren’t already aware of, but to me it seems like this was about a love interest that connects our victim to our unsub.”

“We first need to rule out other options before we take that route.” It felt as if Aaron’s words cut through her skin, almost forcing bile to rise in (y/n)’s throat. His eyes were cold, now staring at her as if she was their unsub, interrogated by every single member of the team.

“But why? If I remember correctly you didn’t deny my theory the last time you presented this case in class, what changed?” The unfamiliar undertone of her voice even managed to surprise (y/n) herself, not used to hearing herself speaking this coldly, challenging the man. She was too focused on him to pay attention to the others, not feeling their curious eyes on her, wondering how this would play out.

“If I were you I’d watch my tone, (y/n), you’re not part of this team, and if you keep on behaving like this, you’ll never be. Either accept my decisions or leave, I certainly won’t stop you from doing so, you’d all do us a favour.” A silent gasp ripped through (y/n), followed by the sound of David Rossi warningly murmuring Aaron’s name. For a second neither of them moved, till (y/n) pushed her chair back, rising to her feet with a trembling “Excuse me” leaving her. They watched her leave the room, back turned to them as she moved towards the bathroom.

(Y/n) had to blink her tears away, not wanting to give Aaron the satisfaction of crying over his hurtful words. A few deep exhales left her as she stepped into the bathroom, both hands placed down on the cold sink, trying to calm herself. She couldn’t tell what she was feeling, torn between anger, embarrassment, and heartbreak, hearing him speak to her like that had felt like daggers being pierced into her heart, tearing her last strings of hope.

“(Y/n)?” Her eyes snapped up towards the mirror, finding Aaron’s frowning features. Without speaking another word, he stepped into the small bathroom, locking the door behind himself. She watched him approach, only turning towards him as he came to a halt in front of her. (Y/n) didn’t dare move as his warm hand slowly cupped her warm cheek, didn’t dare move as a deep sigh left the tall man, eyes burning straight through hers. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, there’s nothing to be sorry for, if that’s how you feel I guess. I don’t understand you, and frankly speaking, I no longer want to. You’re too old for these childish games, professor.” His frown deepened, but he didn’t pull back, kept holding her as (y/n) rambled on. “You played me, but hey, I guess you got what you wanted, huh? It was easy, too easy, but you should know that breaking my heart-”

She didn’t get to speak another word, shut up by his lips finding hers, silencing the young woman with a heated kiss. Almost instantly her hands found his dark hair, tugging on the roots to pull him even closer. (Y/n) melted against him, eyes fluttering close to relish in the feeling his touch elicited.

With a gasp leaving her, (y/n) found herself pressed against the sink, small of her back coming in contact with the cold metal. The sounds he drew from her left the man smirking, tongue fighting hers to once again prove the power he held over her. She was his puppet, allowing him to toy with her how he pleased, pushing and pulling her around without caring about what he was doing to her – at least that’s what he wanted her to believe, not speaking on his true feelings.

“Fuck, Aaron.” His name slipped from her lips as he kissed his way down her throat, hands finding her behind, squeezing the soft flesh. Both were panting, riled up by the still somewhat unfamiliar touches. And yet neither of them wanted to escape this very moment, finding comfort in the racing beats of their hearts, in the heavy breaths leaving one another.

“I wish I could understand what you’re making me feel, but I can’t.” He kissed her once again, urgency dripped from his words, making her toes curl in excitement. But (y/n)’s mind was still hooked onto his words, wondering what he meant by them, ripping her out of her blissful state. Slowly she parted from him, hands placed on his chest, forcing them to give into the once again growing distance.

Aaron’s lips were just as swollen as hers, pupils dilated with lust swimming in them, but the glance she threw at him seemed to prepare him for the words that were about to roll off her tongue. With a sigh clawing through him, Aaron let go of (y/n), taking another step away from her.

“I don’t get you, I don’t get what you are trying to do, what you want me to do. You need to figure that out before you toss me around like that again. Do us both a favour and come clean with your feelings. Till then I’ll step away from this case, and the team. I can’t be around you, if you keep acting like that.” Wordlessly he watched her leave, not throwing one glance back at the heavily sighing man.

……

The sound of her keys being tossed to the small side table placed near her door echoed through (y/n)’s dark apartment. Her heart was heavy, shoulders slouched, clearly projecting the emotional chaos she was fighting against. Deep down she had hoped that he’d stop her from leaving, coming clean with his feelings right there and then, but she knew him better than that, all too aware of the struggles he was fighting against.

She didn’t bother to light her apartment, glassy eyes unable to focus on anything as she poured herself a glass of water, drowning the sips one by one. Exhaustion clung to her, body tormented by the battle she kept fighting, hoping that she’d eventually get out of this very mess.

A groan ripped through (y/n) as she pressed her forehead against her kitchen counter, palms pressed flat against the cold surface. Fuck, she’d do whatever she could to get rid of her longing for Aaron Hotchner, the man who had claimed her heart all these years ago. Nothing would manage to break the spell, chaining her to him as if she was the Titanic itself, sinking to the dark ocean ground without any help coming her way.

Her exhausted body carried (y/n) to her bedroom, plopping down on the mattress the second her phone beeped, gaining her attention. (Y/n) reached for it with another yawn clawing its way through her throat, a sound that got stuck in her throat the second her eyes focused on the message that had been sent to her, from an unfamiliar number.

It took (y/n) a few seconds to take in the picture that had been sent to her, some blurry screenshot that pictured a kissing couple. A gasp left (y/n) as her mind finally realised that it was a picture of her and Aaron, lips locked in the bathroom at the BAU. Attached to the picture was a short message, words that left the young woman shuddering.

“You’re mine, you belong to me, (y/n). Now you’ll have to pay for betraying me with him.”

#Aaron Hotchner imagine #profiling 101 #Aaron Hotchner x reader #Aaron Hotchner smut #criminal minds imagine

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elisysd · 19 days

Text

9. How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Your Song - Elton John

Since he had received your text Charles was excited. He had not stopped pacing his room, trying to come up with ideas to show you that he could be an amazing boyfriend, that you would trust him. He was excited and the little break between Barcelona and Montreal was the occasion to spend time with you. So, not saying a word to you, he rented a place in Paris for the week, hoping to spend time with you. He had a plan and he couldn’t wait to put it into action.

I’ll be in Paris for a few days starting from tomorrow. I was hoping to see you.

Sure, I would love that.

Maybe you can give me your work schedule? It could be easier to plan things.

He smiled when you gave it. You didn’t know what he had in mind, and trusting home with your work schedule so naively was cute. He arrived in Paris late at night, under the rain which made him instantly regretting the sun of Monaco. But you were worth every drop of rain, he knew it. That night he had a hard time finding sleep.

Your day had been eclectic, spent in the studio recording your voice over for the Alpine documentary and working on the next episodes which would be filmed in the upcoming weeks. You were dreaming of going back home, a nice bubble bath and a take away eaten in front of a trashy reality show.

You packed your bag, said goodbyes to your colleagues who were still there and made your way out. You were not excited at the idea of taking the subway. It was always crowded at this time of the day. You badged your way out, wished a good evening to the lady at the reception desk and almost had a heart attack when you noticed Charles, leaning against a rented car, all dressed up in a black suit and with a huge bouquet of red roses in his hand. As you walked to him, you couldn’t help but smile and blush when he handed you the flowers.

“Thank you. What are they for?” you asked as he opened the door for you.

“Because I wanted to. Get used to it, that’s something that will happen a lot when you finally give us a chance.” he winked.

“How was your meeting?”

“Well… I might have lied to you. I don’t have any meetings. I just didn’t want to scare you off by telling you that I was coming here only for you.”

“You didn’t have to, you know. I mean, I appreciate it, truly. But I don’t want to take away from you time that you could use to train.”

“Don’t worry about that.” he smiled, putting a hand on your knee and squeezing it.

In front of your building, you suddenly didn’t want to leave.

“Do you want to come inside for a drink?” you asked.

“Not today, I have a call with my brother about something work related, and I’m not lying this time, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” when he leaned in and kissed your cheek, you thought you were about to faint.

You couldn’t focus the next day at work. You couldn’t help but think about Charles and what he had planned. You didn’t know what to expect but frankly, you didn’t care. You were trusting him enough to let yourself go with the flow. He wouldn’t hurt you, he cared about you enough to go out of his way for you. It felt nice. You were distracted the whole day, something unusual to you to the point Marion didn’t hesitate to tease you about it.

“Your head is in the clouds, missy, today. Who is to blame? A good lover?”

You blushed violently, stumbled on your words and immediately apologized, pretending you had a call to take, making Marion laugh. You avoided everyone the whole day, focusing on your tasks and hoping no one would bother you. And finally when you got out, you found Charles in the exact same position as the previous day. Instead, this time, it was a box of chocolate in his hands and not a bouquet of flowers. He drove you again again, and when you asked him if today he wanted to come inside, he refused once again.

“Let me be a gentleman, okay? And a true one doesn’t get inside the flat of the girl he fancies before the first date.”

“And when should I expect this first date?”

“Tomorrow.” he smiled.

It couldn’t come fast enough. You met him the next day, the same way as before but this time it was not a box of chocolate or flowers that were waiting for you. It was a teddy representing a pressing horse and you laughed at the sight. It was so cheesy that it was starting to get cute and you felt bad to not be able to do even half as much as he was doing. He asked you all about your day which you were happy to tell him with impressive details and before you were aware of it, you were at the restaurant. He helped you get out of your coat and you swore he checked you out for a moment and all of a sudden; you were very glad to have chosen your favorite little black dress. He was also elegantly and simply dressed in a white shirt and black jeans.

He led you in a quiet area where no one would bother you and when finally silence settled, you started to feel uncomfortable. You didn’t know what to say an you were glad when he took the lead.

“So, you’ve never told me where you were from.”

“I’m from the south east of France.” you replied checking the drink menu.

“Really? Near Monaco?”

“God no. No offense, it’s a pretty city. I’m from Avignon. It’s what? Three hours away?”

“If you respect the speed, I guess.” he laughed as you threw a napkin to his face. “How was it, growing up there?”

“Very nice. It’s a pretty city, a bit medieval and I was lucky to be able to grow up in a very cultural environment. We have a big festival, you know. I used to work there when I was younger. And by younger I mean when I was like… thirteen? I think?”

“Is that even legal?”

“Absolutely not! But most of the people coming during summer are people from Paris who don’t know the city that much so they are ready to pay locals big money to promote their shows. Some summer I was making maybe two thousands euros which is insane when you think about it.”

“What were your parents saying?”

“They didn’t know! What did you want me to tell them? They would have stopped me from going and they had other things on their plate with Luc.” your smile disappeared.

“So you have good memories from that time.”

“I love Avignon. I miss it sometimes but my parents made me hate the idea of coming back. They tarnished the city for me.I have a strained relationship with them. My mom especially. My dad is more passive than her.”

“Do you mind if I ask what happened? If I overstep…”

“You don't. I mean, it’s not a big secret or whatever. My mom thinks I’m responsible for Luc's death, as twisted as it sounds. She thinks that if I had not introduced him to F1, he would still be there. It’s stupid I know. And she hates me for leaving for New York when his health started to worsen. I should have said, he was more important than any other stupid dreams I was chasing.”

“And how did you get into F1 in the first place?” Charles asked, curious.

“From my grandad. He was a huge fan. He died a few years ago when I was about to start college. See, this is what I mean when I say that this job is important to me. I do it for me, but also for the people I love and lost along the way.” you explained, a sad look on your face.

“I understand. More than what you can believe.” he whispered, taking your hand in his.

He didn’t need to say more, you knew exactly what he was referring to.

“You’re talking about your dad and Jules.” he nodded and you rushed to add. “I feel bad to know about that but at the same time it’s part of my job and…”

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to act surprised. But yeah, I know what it is like to put so much pressure on yourself in order to make people proud. I know they are proud of me, from where they are. But no matter how much I know it…”

“You can’t help it. If you’re not proud enough of yourself you feel like you’re failing them.” you finished.

“Exactly. If I fail, it means failing them too.”

You moved to lighter topics until it was late in the night and you were starting to yawn. Charles paid the bills and soon you made your way to your residence building. Once there, Charles stopped the engine and a comfortable silence fell in the car. You leaned back against the seat as he looked at you, the reflection of the moon shining in his eyes. You looked at him with the same intensity and he slowly proceeded to close the space between both of your bodies, giving you enough time to back off if you wanted to.

“Charles…” you breathed, thinking about everything that could go wrong.

“Don’t… close your eyes and imagine a world away from responsibilities and complications, a world where it’s only you and I. How does it feel?”

“Perfect.” you admitted.

“Then, hold onto that feeling.”

Opening your eyes you saw him closer than ever. So close that you could see the different shades of green and blue in his eyes. Your gaze fell on his parted lips and when you looked up again, you slightly nodded, giving him the final sign he needed before capturing your lips with his. You didn’t think twice, putting a hand behind his neck as your other one moved to his cheek, trying to get him even closer to you. You felt his weight on you as he pressed you against the door of the car. It was uncomfortable but you didn’t care. all you could feel was him and you didn’t want it to stop. Never. When he finally broke the kiss, you felt cold all of the sudden, your body searching for the heat he had provided in such a short while.

“What does it mean now?” you asked

“Whatever you want it to mean.”

“I want that. I want what's going on between us, but can we take it slow?”

“Of course, your pace is mine.”

“And… I want to keep it between us. No one can find out.”

Author's note: A little fluffy chapter... everything seems to progress really well between them. A little too well maybe. What do you think? 👀

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13 @aundercover @snowflakesfluff @fictional-l0v3r @queensassybitchsworld @jehun

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julieverne · 2 months

Text

When they'd first met, Maura had felt something inexplicable.

Irritation, sure.

But Jane found Maura in the morgue later, cutting up one of the Johns. Ate a whole Danish, propped in the doorway, robe draped over her skanky little skirt, makeup still plastered on her face, heels higher than Maura had ever worn. Her badge hung over the gown, and Maura didn't want to ask where she kept her gun.

But she did, and Detective Rizzoli had choked on her Danish and laughed, a sound so deep and pleasant that Maura let herself bathe in it for a moment, wondering if she would get an answer.

She never did, but instead she got the second Danish in the bag, sweet and glazed and full of complex carbohydrates.

She'd felt it then. A sense of being comfortable. She relaxed when Detective Rizzoli appeared for autopsies, and thanked her when she chased away that awful Crowe.

Jane always gave her a slanted grin, a raised eyebrow, and a promise that she'd ask the same of Maura one day.

Detective Rizzoli made the promotion to homicide she'd wanted.

"You know, this means we get to spend more time together," Jane told Maura, her voice low, as though they were co-conspirators. Something about Jane had Maura feeling like a giddy teenager, and Maura had never, ever been a giddy teenager. Maura looked up with her usual flat smile, seeing a flash of hurt behind Jane's eyes and knowing she'd caused it.

"Congratulations, Detective Rizzoli," Maura said, her voice and tone as flat as her smile. Jane shrugged and pulled away; she'd been reading a report Maura had been typing from over her shoulder, her surprisingly soft breasts pressing against Maura's back. If she turned her head, she'd be afforded a view she wasn't sure she could handle, not with the memory of Jane's warmth against her shoulder blades. When she'd almost reached Maura's office door, Maura relented.

"I'll miss you in those heels," she said, blushing and wishing she'd said anything else. Jane's grin was cheeky and her hand rested gently on the doorframe as she swung back to look at Maura.

"I bet my ass you will," Jane said, eyebrow raised, and Maura's blush deepened further. She'd thought she'd been discrete with her glances to the other woman's posterior, but apparently she'd been caught out. Jane's grin was knowing but not unkind, and Maura's mouth quirked up shyly to match her smile. Jane's eyes softened, and so did her mouth, and Maura felt that something inexplicable rise in her chest again. Jane tapped the doorframe twice, as though she was about to say something else, but instead she just tucked a corner of her bottom lip into her mouth and nodded three times, pushing away from the doorframe with her endless energy.

Maura was one of the first on the scene. Korsak beat her, cleared the room, covered Jane with his coat while the crime techs photographed the basement.

Jane was sobbing, somewhere. While Maura examined the other woman in the basement, already knowing what she'd seen, what had been done to her. She left Hoyt, bleeding, on the floor. The ambulance could deal with him, and he was cuffed and taken out before they arrived.

Korsak beckoned Maura over.

"She always said she likes you, and hell, I can't help her with these bear paws." He held up his thick hands. "And I can't wait for the ambulance."

Maura glanced over at the other woman. Catherine. She'd been sedated and one of Maura's lab techs was sitting with her, along with a detective. She'd been tied, and her bounds hand been loosed.

So when Korsak drew back his coat, Maura gasped. She hadn't expected - tears sprang into her eyes. She touched Jane gently on the chin, making eye contact before Jane nodded and squeezed her eyes shut.

There was a reason Maura didn't doctor the living. She never knew what to say, how to interact with them. But she knew Jane. She slipped on fresh gloves and heard the ambulance. A few blocks away still, but she couldn't leave Jane like this a moment longer. Right now she was calm; almost catatonic. In a moment she might struggle and injure herself further. Dimly Maura was aware of Korsak shielding Jane from view, from cameras, from people, keeping Maura and Jane secluded while Maura worked as quickly as she could.

She gave Jane a quick sedative.

"This is going to hurt," she warned Jane, grasping a scalpel that penetrated the entirety of one of those thin, strong hands. Jane's jaw clenched.

"Didn't think otherwise," Jane said, some of her former bravado returning.

Maura prepared gauze, laying it on Jane's stomach over her shirt. She readied herself. When she was unable to avoid looking at Jane any longer, Jane's eyes were soft and full of something Maura couldn't read.

"Rescue me," Jane said, too quiet for Korsak. She wasn't angry or impatient, just resigned to her fate.

"The paramedics are here, I'm sure they have more experience..."

"No. You're the only person I'm going to let touch me."

"It's not-"

"In your job description. I know. But you're the only person who can see me like this and not think any less of me, because you couldn't care less."

Maura's brow furrowed, but she pulled the scalpel free, Jane's breath hissing out of her sharply, Korsak turning to check in, then looking away again quickly, giving them their privacy.

One down. Maura doused the hand in antiseptic and loosely bound it. She swallowed as she reached over Jane, crouched on the grimy basement floor in a dress that cost more than the house and land. She looked down at Jane.

"I could care less. But I don't." Jane's brow furrowed as she tried to follow the logic. Her eyes caught on Maura's chest as she leaned over her, and her breath caught as well. "I don't want to do this because I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to associate this with me, because I think we were good colleagues, and we might have been more if you hadn't asked me to do this."

Maura pulled the second scalpel out, dousing Jane's right hand, her left already cradled to her chest. Jane sat up, trying to struggle to her feet, and Maura stopped her.

"I bet your Ma always used to kiss it better, huh?"

Jane froze completely, her dirty face streaked with tears, her eyes caught on Maura's lips like a beacon in the open sea. Jane swallowed harshly; Maura had been trying to distract her. With the sedative she'd be unable to get to her feet on her own. She could hear the paramedics assessing Catherine, readying to take her from the basement. She could hear Korsak explaining the state he'd found Jane in. She was running out of time.

She balanced carefully, then leaned in and kissed Jane's temple, feeling the sedative kick in, feeling the weight of Jane's body resting against her. She held her.

"There. All better," Maura said, her voice dull, but Jane just nestled deeper, her dirty face leaving marks on a dress that Maura never had the nerve to clean and the soft, white flesh beneath it in the space over her heart.

Jane had made her feel something.

"Your brother gave your mother my number. Not my work number, my personal number I gave you. For personal reasons. I feel like I need to reassert my professional boundaries."

"Well, I'm off-duty," Jane said, struggling to sit up. Maura helped her reflexively, the body beneath the gown warm against her hands. "So technically you're bringing work to me."

Maura chuckled and saw the way Jane's head shot up, looking at Maura like she'd won a prize.

"She called to thank me. Apparently you talked about me a lot?"

Maura sat in the visitor's chair at Jane's bedside, seeing Jane's eyes watch her cross her legs. They were just shins, but Jane eyed them like a perp in an alleyway.

"I might have been unduly harsh, when you were sedated," Maura said by way of apology.

"You said you cared." Jane's voice was low and almost scared.

"I did. I do. Oh, here." Maura dug in her bag for the chocolates she'd brought with her. Jane waited expectantly, and Maura realised uneasily that she'd have to feed them to her. She washed her hands carefully in the adjoining bathroom, then unwrapped a single chocolate. Jane's hands were covered in bandages, and she was on a morphine drip. She took the chocolate from Maura's fingers like Cleopatra taking a grape from a lover. Maura blushed and looked away as Jane chewed with her eyes closed.

"What the hell was that?" Jane asked, her voice awed.

"I told you about them - I thought you might like them." Maura wet her lips as she unwrapped a second chocolate, Jane's mouth open and ready for her, her lips brushing against Maura's fingers as she took it from her.

Already deeply blushing, Maura couldn't look away from Jane's mouth.

"I only meant some of it." Jane admitted when she stopped chewing. "I hate being vulnerable. I hate that Korsak saw me like that, I hate not being able to do anything for myself. It's why I told Frankie not to hand out my room number at the precinct."

Jane licked her lips, tracking down a crumb of chocolate. Maura leaned forward and wiped a second crumb away, surprised when Jane's tongue stole it from her thumb. She unwrapped a third, unsure what Jane was trying to say. The medication would have kicked in, and she might not mean it now either.

It had hurt, when Jane said Maura didn't care about her. Maura already cared too much. There was a constant tug in her chest when Jane was nearby. Seeing her tortured hadn't made it any easier. It had just made her prouder of Jane, more protective. Jane had shown herself to Maura in her most vulnerable moment, and Maura had gazed at her like the night sky through her first telescope.

Jane chewed thoughtfully.

"You're not exactly easy to get to know. But you pride yourself on being professional and detached. I went for your pride, but I hurt you in doing so, and that was wrong of me. I didn't want anyone else touching me because I couldn't have stood it. You were with me. You understood. You understand. You do, don't you?"

Tears in her eyes again, Maura nodded. Jane nodded too, swallowing hard. She blinked and laughed.

"You looked at me like that, and everything made sense for a single moment. You didn't pity me, or think of me as a victim. You were just happy to see me. The way you always are."

Maura thought back to the first time she'd noticed herself relax once Jane arrived at a crime scene, at an autopsy. She trusted her, and was pleased when she arrived.

But happy to see Jane? Surely not. She looked down at a woman who looked much smaller lying down, and she reached out with her bare hand and touched Jane's forearm. Jane's skin was warm and brown and welcoming, and a smile split Jane's face.

"I'm happy to see you too," Jane admitted. "Hit me."

"Huh?"

"Chocolate. Hit me."

Maura removed her hand from Jane's arm, knowing Jane knew she found human contact uncomfortable. But she left it there a little later, when the opiates had rendered Jane unconscious. For her own comfort as well as Jane's.

The older woman who came in a little later was familiar - Maura had met Jane's mother before. She went to get out of the chair, but Angela pressed her back down, then leaned over to kiss first Jane's temple and then Maura's own, her hand resting on Maura's shoulder. She knew, too, that Maura found touching awkward, but she was so physically expressive that Maura knew this was the bare minimum Angela could stand to give.

"You belong there, honey," Angela insisted, and Maura glowed.

She'd found where she belonged, and it was at Jane's side.

#rizzoli and isles #rizzoli & isles #maura isles #rizzles #jane rizzoli #rizzles fanfic

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ughgoaway · 7 months

Note

Blurb of Annie's birthday... Matty brings a cake to school to celebrate his little baby's special day... he stays a little while...

I'm loving all the blurbs

oh, I'm so glad you are loving the blurbs!!! I am loving writing them, little Annie Healy has my heart.

Anyway, yes yes yes I love this idea so much omg.

(Can Ace write anything without saying “smile” and “eyes” 1000 times… wait and see!! (the answer is no.) Also, timeline wise this makes absolutely 0 sense but… I do not care!! All that matters is the vibe <33)

It's Monday when Annie comes in very proudly and announces “Miss y/n, I'm six on Friday” with her chest puffed out and a big smile on her face.

You pretend you don't know, despite having seen it on the system last week, “Is it really Annie? Wow! You're growing up so quickly” You smile down at her as she nods along to your words, holding her bookbag (do other countries have these? idk) in one hand and the other hand out, ready to gesture with when she spoke.

“My daddy says the same thing.” she starts. Then her face lights up further, “You know my daddy is coming in on Friday!! He asked Mrs Richards and she said that he could come and bring a cake for everyone!!” she recounts excitedly before her face drops, and she suddenly gets very serious. “But you can't tell anyone that miss y/n, it's a secret. Pinky promise?”

You smile at her but soon put on a fake stern face to match hers. You drop to her eye line, stick your finger out, and link it with hers, “I promise Annie. Now, how about you go put your bookbag away so we can get started?” she doesn't respond but instead nods and shuffles off to set her bag down.

Leaving you standing and reeling that Matty is coming in on Friday, in peak proud dad mode, to celebrate his daughter (who you love.) fuck. This was going to make your head spin.

/////////////

cut to the actual day, and Annie comes in wearing a little badge and a hat. You see Matty drop her off from the classroom. you totally weren't staring out the window waiting to see him arrive or anything…

he wasn't even really dressed up, just a chequered button-up and jeans. but for some reason, he still made your heart race. seeing him bend down and give her a kiss on the cheek, and a big hug almost made you audibly sigh, but you caught yourself before you did. because that would be inappropriate, you didn't have any feelings for him. none at all. totally neutral.

Annie came bounding in, a massive smile on her face showing off her gappy smile. she'd very proudly come in the week before talking about losing one of her teeth, and now, every time she smiled, her gaps were on show.

class started, and to avoid Annie literally buzzing with excitement all day, you allowed her to announce to the class the news of her big day.

with the happiest face you could imagine, she said, "It's my birthday today! I'm 6 and my daddy is going to come in with cake for everyone!"

a chorus of cheers came out as you sat behind your desk, trying to stop your grin from growing an unreasonable amount.

soon enough, you got the class back in order, and the day whizzed past. Suddenly, it was 2:30, and there was a knock on the door.

matty stuck his head around the door and quickly met your eyes, "hi" he breathed out, staring at you with adoration in his eyes.

“Hi” you breathed out in the same way. For a few seconds, you both stood there with stupid grins on your faces staring into each other's eyes. Of course, in a classroom of 5 and 6-year-olds, that peaceful staring didn't last long. But it simultaneously felt like a quick glance and a full minute.

Annie comes running out of her seat and to the door. Matty quickly catches on and comes fully into the classroom, managing to hold a cake in one hand and hugging his very excited daughter with the other.

“Daddy!!” she squeals with excitement, bouncing in her dad's arms as he tries desperately to balance a cake. Over the young girl's shoulder, he shoots you a worried glance, and you snap out of your trance and come to grab the cake.

“Ah yes, let me just grab this,” you say, and Matty smiles graciously at you. His other hand quickly scooped Annie up into his arms to greet her properly.

“Hi, peanut!! You have a good birthday?” he asks. His eyes flick between his daughter, babbling on about her day, and you standing at your desk showing a room full of mesmerised children the cake he brought.

In between his daughter's rambling stories, he manages to catch you chatting to the kids, “Yes Annie's dad Mat-” You pause and catch yourself before you slip, flicking your head up and making brief eye contact with Matty. “Mr. Healy brought us all cake! Let's all sit in our seats and get ready to say thank you like we practised!”

Matty's face briefly scrunched in confusion, but you did nothing to answer his silent question, only shooting him a sweet smile and spinning around to walk to the front of the room. The combination of the cheeky smile and the way your dress moved as you spun had Matty's brain stuttering through his thoughts.

Annie was still chattering along, completely oblivious to her dad being completely enamoured with the woman in front of him. She soon saw her classmates all in their seats and was wriggling out of her dad's arms, trying to join her friends.

Matty comes to join you at the front of the room, fighting every urge in his body to wrap you up in a hug. He wants nothing more than to grab you by the waist and pull you in, burying his face into your neck and breathing in the vaguely sweet smell that follows you around. He thinks about how his other arm would swing around your shoulder and pull you impossibly closer. Your arms would come around him, and he would feel you hum in enjoyment at the contact.

But he doesn't do that. He simply waves in a way that makes him feel so uncool that he internally cringes. You giggle at his clear discomfort and copy his wave, tilting your head teasingly at him.

You somehow manage to wrangle your mind back to the task at hand, you clap your hands and grab your classes attention. “Right! Everyone, this is Annie's dad, Mr. Healy!” Matty cringes at you not using his name, loving the way it sounds coming out of your mouth.

“As you can see, he has been very kind and brought us a cake to share! Can we all say thank you?”

Matty was staring at you, lost in watching you work, but soon the ensemble of small voices wrang out, pulling his attention away from you.

“Thank you, Mr. Healy!!” says the sea of children in front of him, Matty looks out at the crowd, used to the number of people but not quite the age range. He sees a mob of gappy teeth and excited faces and can't help but mirror them.

“Wow! You guys are welcome! I hope you all like it. It's already cut up... sooo-” he looks over to you for further instruction, and you snap back into teacher mode quickly.

“Okay! Everyone, can we all line up in register order for our cake?” Some groans come from the crowd, but you quickly catch them, “and don't worry if you're near the end. There is enough cake for everyone! I promise.” You smile and wave your hand, and soon enough, each child falls into line, all bubbling with anticipation.

//////////

Quiet music plays through the classroom speakers, and the noise of children chatting and giggling permeates the room. At the front of the room, you are leaning against the desk as Matty stands in front of you with his hands in his pockets.

He stands with joy written all over his face as you continue to laugh at his stories and jokes, the sound of your laughter ringing in his ears in the best way possible. It's so melodic that Matty has the fleeting thought to record it and use it in a track.

“So you used a scooter to get to the smaller stage” you laugh, staring at Matty with an impressed yet questioning look. As he nods, his curls bounce. You briefly get distracted by how perfect they are, but his resonant voice brings you back to earth.

“An electric scooter, I'm not just furiously pushing myself on a razor scooter in the middle of a concert” Matty corrects, looking faux offended at your forgetfulness.

“Oh yes, sorry and electric scooter, of course.” You say nodding, “I don't suppose there's any video of this that I can see? I think I need to witness it.” You smile at him.

Matty pauses briefly, weighing up and showing you the video. On one hand, he can get closer to you to show his phone but on the other, you get to see a mildly embarrassing video of him whizzing away to the sound of “Vroom Vroom” by Charli xcx.

You take his silence as offence and quickly start stuttering apologies, “Oh I'm sorry if that's too personal, you don't have to show me. I was just-” Before you talk so much it makes you dizzy, Matty cuts in.

“Oh no don't worry love,” the nickname slips out without a second thought, Matty doesn't even consider it but you are sure you'll be thinking of his voice saying that on repeat for the next week, “I was just thinking how embarrassing this is going to be, but you're right. You do need to see it. Just promise me you won't think less of me, yeah?”

He makes intense eye contact as finishes, and you can't help but blurt out what you think of immediately, “I could never think less of you.”

A silent beat passes, and Matty doesn't say anything, just bashfully smiles and grabs his phone.

//////

Too soon for your liking, 3 pm comes, and it's almost time to leave, but before everyone goes, you have one more thing to do.

“Okay I have to play teacher now, sorry,” you say to Matty, standing up. He nods and steps back, letting you get everyone's attention and speak.

“It's almost time for our mummies and daddies to pick us up, so let's all do one last thing before we go today. As you all know, it's Annie's birthday,” Matty watches his daughter's eyes light up at being mentioned, “so let's all sing her happy birthday!”

You count them in, and the class starts singing to Annie, you and Matty included. Matty watches you sing for his daughter, pure joy on your face and a grin that makes his knees weaken.

The song ends, and everyone claps, just in time for the bell to ring, and you send them off. “Okay everyone that's the bell! Go grab your stuff and meet your mums and dads in the playground, Mrs Richards will be out there to help you find them if you need it!”

You wave each of them out until it's just you, Matty and Annie in the room. You spin around and bend down to her level, “Did you have a good birthday sweetheart?”

Her toothy grin comes out again, and she nods furiously, “Especially because my daddy came in, that was really fun” she says, looking up at Matty and grabbing his hand.

“I had so much fun too, sweetheart! Let's get going though, yeah? You've got Grandad and nanny at home waiting to see you!!” Matty says to his daughter, who immediately starts dragging him away and saying bye to you.

You laugh and wave them off, “bye Annie!!” You say excitedly. You make a point of lifting your eyes and meeting Matty’s.

“Bye Matty” you say softly, waving at him the same way he greeted you earlier.

He simply grins and waves back before returning his attention back to his daughter and continuing to be dragged away.

blurb masterlist here!!

#now do we have any annie birth date opinions...#like what star sign is she??? i cannot decide on my own #anyway heres a blurb i hope you all enjoy #thank you for the conept anon i love u <3 #dilf matty <33 #anon!#teacher au!

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lace-coffin · 3 months

Note

Hello, if your requests are still open, I would like a Montgomery Gator x autistic reader. Reader is having a hard time and gets overstimulated by the noise going on in the Pizzaplex. Maybe Monty thinks the reader is mad at him because they are “ignoring” him, but they are actually just nonverbal and Monty doesn’t know. Angst with fluff at the end, please?

With love, Anon

Love you to anon! Mwah!

Montgomery Gator x overstimulated autistic!gn!Reader

Montgomery Gator x Autistic!Gn!Reader

Requests are closed! (For now)

Not gonna lie like 90% of this was just me projecting how I feel on bad sensory days lmao

The pizzaplex was one of your favourite places to be, you knew the layout like the back of your hand despite how large and winding it was. Since starting your relationship with Monty you’ve probably spent more time here than home.

This didn’t save you from getting overwhelmed however. Yes you loved the plex like a home but it was so much all the time. Bustling crowds mostly made of up noisy excitable children and their exasperated parents, fluorescent lights on full blast overhead and music/announcements blaring from the radio system.

You knew it was one of those days as soon as you cracked your eyes open, you’d been fighting the blankets all night, pissed off as soon as they touched you, ending up sleeping naked only under a single blanket even if it wasn’t weather appropriate. You’d played some music softly as background noise to help as you got dressed and ready to head to the plex. You shut that down promptly. The noise irritating you to no end.

Today was a safe clothing day, nothing restricting or clingy/warm, you already didn’t want to be in your body right now, let alone feel the clothing on you. The wait for the bus was uncomfortable, sitting in one place and counting down the minuets until you need to leave the house, stuck in waiting mode. The longer you sat the more apparent your clothing came. You rehearsed what you were going to say to the driver in your head until the bus arrived.

The actual bus ride was uneventful, slipping on your headphones and playing music just loud enough to cover the background noise.

Walking into the over glorified mall made you want to puke. It was the complete opposite environment you wanted to be in right now, but you really wanted to see your partner. You switch over from your headphones to ear defenders quickly, in your opinion if you can still hear the music over your defenders then it’s up to loud, fazbear. Adjusting your lanyard you read over the badges again. “Please don’t touch me or get to close” “I struggle to make or maintain eye contact” “I’m autistic, please be patient”

After flittering through the plex as fast as you can you beeline to Monty’s green room, ignoring the burning stares of people wondering why another guest is just waltzing into an off limits zone.

“Hey pipsqueek!” Monty bellows as you enter, raising from his sofa and tugging you into a tight hug. Usually this is welcome but right now it just raises your hackles. You don’t let it show, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “Hey big guy!” You muster up, albeit quietly. As you pull back Monty eyes over your lanyard, specifically the “please don’t touch me” badge. “Oh shit! My bad cher” he rubs a large scaly hand over the back of his neck and apologises. You wave your hand in dismissal.

“You still up for that bowling date?” He asks coolly, trying to hide his excitement. In all honesty you aren’t, you don’t want to do anything but lay in the dark and quiet, but you came all this way and you can’t bare to see the disappointment on his face if you turn him down. You give him a nod and a forced smile, it’s not that you don’t love spending time with your boyfriend, it’s just you don’t have the spoons right now.

Regardless you let him lead you to Bonnie bowl, nodding along to his rambling on the way, you let Monty grab your ugly bowling shoes, knowing your size off by heart by now. You wait in the assigned lane, flexing and unflexing your hands.

You smile and say a quiet thank you as Monty hands you to the shoes alongside your favourite flavour of slushy.

The first round is enough to get you agitated and anxious, the noise of the pins clacking harshly against the lane is obnoxiously loud. This added with the sound of other families chatting and the bright lights it’s a nightmare. Not to mention the mix of smells coming from the food stand making you nauseous.

You guess it had been a while since you stopped talking, bowling on autopilot and sitting back down until it was your turn again. You knew Monty had tried to talk to you but it wasn’t getting through properly, so hard to focus on what the gator was saying over your other senses being clogged. Eventually Monty pulls you to once side, concerned.

A worried look settles on his features, you swear you could see a little frustration under them to. “Are you made at me? Is it something I did? Because you’ve been ignoring me all evening and I’m sorry if I’ve upset you but I need to know what I did to be able to apologise.”

Your eyes widen in realisation and you flap your hand at him, signalling to give you a second. You rifle in your tote bag for a moment and fish out your phone, unlocking it and pulling up the text to speech app. Monty looks at you confused as you type as quick as you can, after a minute an automated voice rings from the phone. “I’m having a bad sensory day, it’s nothing you’ve done and I love spending time with you, I just feel overwhelmed and tired”

Monty’s face softens at this, relieved you’re not angry at him and that he’s not the cause of your discomfort. The larger leans to cup your face but remembers at the last moment. “Oh uh- can I touch you, cher?” You give a small smile, appreciating him asking first and nod.

Large hands cup your face gently. “I wish you had told me earlier cher and I would’ve gotten you outta here, no worries though, I’m proud of you for telling me pipsqueek.” You type for a moment more. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to be a nuisance and ruin our date” you avoid his eyes.

Monty frowns and shakes his head. “Hey, none of that, you’re never a burden for having a bad day, doll. I love you even when you don’t feel good, remember that.” You nod and type again. “Love you too big guy, what now?” Your boyfriend chuckles and jerks his head toward the exit. “Wanna head back to my room? We can set the lights low and just sit in eachothers company, no need to talk”

You could cry from how sweet and understanding he is sometimes. You happily agree and make it back to his green room, spending the evening curled in your weighted blanket on the sofa, lights dimmed and star projector on. Monty is curled in a separate nest of blankets on the floor beside the sofa, letting out soft bellows as you run your fingers through his hair.

#montgomery gator x reader #montgomery gator #fnaf security breach #fnaf #five nights at freddy's security breach #five nights at freddy's #fnaf x reader #writing #my writing #autism #autistic reader #autistic writer #neurodivergent

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hookhausenschips · 5 months

Text

Burning Rubber

Chapter Seven

F1 Masterlist

Burning Rubber Masterlist

Word Count: 4,853

Summary: Feelings arise amidst Azha’s condition. Lando doesn’t want to leave her side in fear of losing her, but his job calls him to race. The other boys gain more insight on Azha’s dark past.

Warnings: angst, anxiety, details of surgery, mentions of blood and other body parts, illusions to death, bouts of grief, acceptance of potential death, graphic content, mentions of abusive relationship, toxic, cheating, flashback, mentions of miscarriage.

Author’s note: The longest chapter I’ve written for this series, I could stop writing. If any of the things mentioned above make you uncomfortable feel free to skip this chapter💚

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Third Person POV

After the nearly six-hour drive to the hospital, the group had arrived. Finding it easier to take two vehicles rather than four with the driver’s luggage in the trunk as well. Many tears were shed that night, many thoughts that couldn’t be said aloud. They had parked and rushed inside. “Excuse me but you can’t be here without a visitors badge.” One of the receptionists spoke as the group went to rush past her. Ja Khel turned towards her. “I don’t give two fucks about a visitors badge. I just drove six hours to make sure my sister isn’t dead. Take that badge and shove it up your ass you fucking idiot.” He seethed. The woman gasped in shock. “Ja Khel!” Giana shrieked and slapped him on the back of his head. She then turned to the young receptionist, “I’m sorry, we had a terrible night tonight as he said. Do you know where Azha Skye is?” She asked. “Oh, you’re family of the drift racer? I’m a big fan. Sorry, now isn’t the time. Let me check for you.” The young woman said as she began typing. She looked back to the group, “It seems they still have her in surgery, the waiting room for that is on the fourth floor. Once you reach there you continue down the hall and make a right then it will be right there. My thoughts and prayers are with you.” She said as the group all rushed to the elevators.

Sitting in the waiting room felt like years for the group of drivers. Charles and Carlos had texted their girlfriends about Azha knowing the girls had become quick friends. Lando had stepped out of the waiting room as he called the Quadrant group. “Hey, mate! How’s California?” Niran asked over the group FaceTime. The group added their greetings until they noticed Lando’s tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes. “Lando, what’s wrong?” Max asked concerned about his best friend. Lando sniffled as he sat in the hallway, “Azha..” he trailed off. The group felt their stomachs twist in anticipation, Lando took a breath trying to calm himself and stop the incoming tears. “Azha got into an accident. We’re not sure but it’s very bad. They lost her pulse twice at the scene. She just looked so broken.” He whispered. The group gasped. Ria covered her mouth in shock as tears sprung to her eyes. Max felt like he was going to throw up. Niran, Ethan, and Steve paled in the face. How could something like this happen? They all knew the risks the girl took but for it to actually come to fruition, they were all in disbelief.

“Are you alright?” Max questioned as Pietra hugged him in comfort. Lando shook his head. “Other things happened tonight but the last thing she said to me was that I ‘should leave and go back to my perfect f1 life and that I shouldn’t be there’. She said it with so much anger. But I can’t bring myself to hate her like she hates me. What if she doesn’t make it? What if those are the last words she ever says to me?” He began to sob. The group all felt their hearts shatter at their friend’s painful confession. Ria took a breath, “Lando she doesn’t hate you. If she did she wouldn’t have said anything. She still cares, she’s trying to protect us all from her lifestyle because she has seen things we haven’t. She could never hate you.” Pessimistic thoughts continued to plague Lando’s mind. “She won’t even speak to me. Let alone look at me for fucks sake.” He spoke as the group tried to comfort their friend while also trying to comfort themselves

After what felt like days a doctor had come out into the waiting room. “Are you family of Azha Skye?” The group all looked up and nodded but before the doctor could speak, “There’s one more out in the hallway, I will go get him.” Carlos spoke. The doctor nodded as the group’s eyes followed the Spaniard. Carlos found his friend around the corner on the phone. Lando not noticing his former teammate spoke, “I love her too much. I don’t think I could live or love again if I lose her. She makes everything brighter and colorful in a world of black and grey. After a shitty race her voice melts away my anxieties, and her laugh… her laugh makes everything else in the world disappear. I don’t have to think about being a Formula driver around her. I can just be me. What if I don’t get the chance to ever tell her?” The Spaniard felt his heart clench for his friend before speaking, “Lando, the doctor is here.” Lando looked up in shock before telling the quadrant crew goodbye and that he would keep them updated. “You didn’t hear that did you?” Lando asked. Carlos gave a sad smile, “I did. But no need to worry, your secret is safe with me.” He patted his friend’s shoulder as they made their way back to the waiting room.

“So we stopped a majority of the bleeding in her abdomen. Unfortunately, her heart did stop during the surgery, but we were able to revive her. During the crash, she sustained some hefty injuries, and she will have to go through some physical therapy. She suffered a broken leg, and a few broken ribs that punctured her right lung, and she suffered some head trauma as well. From the results of her brain scan, we could tell she has a subdural hematoma by her right ear. Which is bleeding between the brain and the skull. This is causing the blood to push against her brain, which is what I have come to discuss with you. The surgery that is. We will have placed her in a medically induced coma to help take that pressure off her brain afterwards. She is still in critical condition but we will keep monitoring her. Do you have any questions?” The doctor explained. “Will she be able to remember anything? Will she feel the pain in her coma?” Giana asked. The doctor nodded, “She will remember everything except for maybe a few days before the accident. She will feel some, but not completely.” He said the group nodded. “What is the surgery? Does it need to happen?” Jirani questioned. “I will not be the one performing the procedure, but it will not harm her. It is vital that she gets the surgery.” The doctor spoke. The group felt sick, they couldn’t imagine the pain the poor girl was in. “When is the surgery?” Jirani asked. The doctor cleared his throat and looked at the clock ‘6:27 am’, “I will need for one of you to sign some papers and the surgeon will come explain everything that you need to know about the surgery here shortly.” He explained, Ja Khel stood and left with the doctor to go sign the paperwork needed.

Around 7:15 am, the surgeon arrived in the waiting room to discuss the surgery. “Hello my name is Dr. Hailey Vasquez, I will be the one performing Azha’s surgery this morning.” The woman spoke as she shook every member of the group’s hands. She then sat across from them, “Right so I’m assuming you have been informed by my colleague about Azha’s condition. With critical cases, like Azha’s, this surgery must happen. With an acute subdural hematoma it is caused by serious head trauma strong enough to cause blood vessels to rupture, it then causes the blood to pool in space below the dura mater which is a membrane between the brain and skull. The blood pooling there can cause damage to the brain and its tissue, this can cause her to have problems breathing, paralysis, seizures, or if not treated it will kill her.” Lando flinched hearing those last few words, “The operation is very simple. It is called a craniotomy, which is where the surgeon, myself, creates a temporary flap in the skull. The hematoma is gently removed using suction and irrigation, where it's washed away with fluid.” She explained to them. “What are the risks or the side effects?” Keyani asked. “The side effects and risks of surgery are an increased risk of bleeding, having blood clots, or infection but this will be a very slim chance. We will have her monitored very closely. The risks of having this condition are brain hernias, seizures as I mentioned, and repeated bleeding if she was an older adult.” She spoke and the group sat in silence taking in the surgeon’s words. “We will begin the surgery here shortly. Then once she is placed into her room you all can come visit. I will be here after the surgery to debrief you while they have her settled in her room. Alright?” The group nodded and stood to thank the doctor before she left.

“When are your flights to Abu Dhabi?” Ja Khel asked the drivers. “Tomorrow.” Answered Max, Carlos Charles, and Daniel. “Tonight,” Oscar spoke. They all looked at Lando, “I’m not leaving.” He spoke firmly. The group all looked in shock. “Lando it’s the last race of the season, you can’t just not show up. Zak will have both our heads.” Oscar said. Lando shook his head, “I don’t care, I’m not leaving her. They can fine me all the money in the world, I could care less.” Giana felt her heart warm noticing the love the driver held for her sister-in-law. “She wouldn’t want you to miss the race,” Charles spoke, the others agreeing. “You’re not changing my mind so drop it,” Lando spoke before standing up and leaving the waiting room. The group all looked at each other. After a few moments of silence, “So how long has he had feelings for her?” Jirani asked. The drivers smiled, “Since the beginning basically.” Max answered. “He never shuts up about her,” Daniel added. “He’s beating himself up about the fight they had when she was in Jamaica. He’s not himself without her.” Carlos told them. Jirani nodded, “Although she acts differently, she loves him too. She tries to hide it to keep herself safe from another heartbreak. She’s pushing him away because she’s scared and she doesn’t want a repeat of Giannis.” He explained to the drivers.

“Who’s Giannis?” Charles asked. Ja Khel, Jirani, Giana, and Keyani all looked at each other. “He’s her ex-fiancé. But a straight-up manwhore. He was cheating on her the entire relationship, only using her for the trips that came with her drifting career. We didn't find out how bad it was until the end of their relationship. He was putting his hands on her. Azha was always a fighter but when it came to that scumbag she didn’t fight back. It was like she accepted that he was all she could ever have. Like she couldn’t do better.” Giana spoke. The boys all looked at each other in shock and anger. “We know Lando would never do those things and deep down she does too but she doesn’t want to be hurt again. Even though pushing him away is hurting her just as much if not more.” Keyani added. “How did they break up?” Daniel questioned. “Long story,” Giana spoke.

Azha sat in the living room reading the messages between Giannis and another woman plus the positive pregnancy test she had taken right next to it. He promised he was done with this she thought to herself. She shook her head as she turned the page in her binder that held all the evidence of his infidelity. Soon she would confront him once he walked through the door. She couldn’t live this way anymore. She looked down at her legs and arms the bruises, some fading some still dark from yesterday’s assault. Hearing keys jingle at the front door she stood from the couch. The man she loved walked through the doorway of the living room. “Giannis we need to talk.” She spoke. The man groaned, “Azha I’m not doing this right now.” “Then when Giannis?” She spoke following him into their bedroom. “You’re never home anymore. It’s time we have this talk. I’m tired of you ignoring it.” Giannis rolled his eyes as he sat on the bed taking off his shoes. “I’m not ignoring anything. I’m just tired of hearing you complain about everything I do. As if I’m the one doing wrong.” He said. The audacity Azha thought.

“You are the one doing wrong! Fucking other bitches when I’m gone on the road or when you’re with me at races. Instead of being the good fiancé you’re supposed to be supporting me during my career, you find comfort in the arms of other women. I have been nothing but loyal to you. I’ve cut off almost everyone for you! And what do I get in return? Nothing!” She could feel the tears threatening to fall. Giannis stood up, “Shut your fucking mouth. Who are you to yell at me huh?” He raised his hand, slapping Azha across the face. Azha fell to the floor, sobs wracking her body. “You’re not fucking leaving. I will fucking kill you before you ever leave.” He seethed grabbing her by her hair and dragging her to the stairs. He then proceeded to throw her down the stairs. Azha was crying and begging, “Giannis please stop. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it.” The man laughed mockingly, “Oh you didn’t mean it. Bullshit Azha, you’re always saying shit to piss me off. Do you enjoy making me mad?” He said as he walked down towards her. Grabbing her hair once again, he dragged her into the living room.

Throwing her down onto the floor, he kicked her in the ribs. Azha felt the air leave her lungs at the impact. “Come on get up. You want to leave so badly get up and walk out the door. No one will ever fucking want you especially with how fucking fat you’ve gotten. Look at how pathetic you are. You think you can do better than me, maybe I should beat some sense into you.” Giannis said as he planted another punch to her face. Blood poured from Azha’s mouth and nose, the latter broken. He then spotted the binder and laughed, “You really think anyone is ever going to believe this shit.” He began looking through it. Raising his foot he stomped on the girl’s abdomen. “Look what you’re making me do Azha. You’re the one making me hurt you.” Giannis spoke, his voice full of venom. Then grabbing the girl and slammed her head through the glass of the coffee table. “Stupid fucking bitch.” He muttered. Azha lay on the ground, the glass surrounding her bloodied and broken body. Giannis continued to bloody the girl. He climbed on top of her wrapping his hands around her throat. As Azha coughed up blood she began to think ‘If this was the end then so be it. I hope my family knows how much I love them. That the baby and I didn’t suffer long’. She began to feel the air leave her body and Giannis choked her. She began to black out. Satisfied with what he had done, Giannis stood and left to shower before leaving the house.

A couple hours later Azha woke up, her body in immense pain. She could see her phone underneath the couch. She tried reaching for it but screamed from the pain. She bit her lip and tried to crawl closer to her phone. Pain shot through every nerve of her body. She could taste blood from biting her lip so hard it had reopened from when Giannis split it. Sighing in relief, Azha unlocked her phone and went to Keyani’s number. Her eyesight blurry she pushed the first button she could see. The familiar tone of FaceTime rang through, Azha propped her phone against the now broken coffee table. “Hey girl what’s- Azha oh my god!” Keyani screamed which alerted the rest of the house. “Where are you?” Keyani demanded. “Home.” She garbled as she began to feel lightheaded again. “Okay stay on the phone. Jirani!! Ja Khel!” Keyani yelled trying to find her keys. “Why are you screaming?” Giana asked the younger woman. “Where’s the guys?” Keyani asked frantically and damn near hysterical. “Keyani breathe they’re in the garage. What’s wrong?” Giana sternly asked. “It’s Azha.” Was all she said before running out the door with the other woman right behind her. “Ja Khel! Jirani! Start the car we have to go now!” Keyani yelled running into the garage. The boys looked at each other and their uncle’s. “Baby, what’s going on?” Jirani asked. “It’s Azha, she’s at home and she’s all bloody.” She said handing him the phone. The men gasped seeing the still image of the girl lying there on FaceTime. “You two stay here. Call 911.” Ja Khel spoke. “No! We’re going.”

Arriving at Azha’s house they found that the front door was locked. Ja Khel began to kick the door down, the girls had called 911. “Azha!!” Ja Khel yelled as he entered the house with his brother and uncles. They all spread out through the house searching for the girl. “I found her!” One of the uncles alerted picking up the girl and taking her outside. “Is she breathing?” Keyani asked. Checking for any sign of life, he felt her pulse was weak. “I’m starting CPR. Tell the damn dispatcher the ambulance needs to hurry the fuck up.” Their uncle spoke. Soon enough they heard the sirens of the ambulance and police arriving. The paramedics jumped out and took over CPR while hooking her up to get her vitals. Her brothers and the rest of the uncles walked outside hearing the commotion. “I’ll go with her,” Giana said as they placed the girl in the ambulance. The group nodded, Jirani could feel the item in his pocket begin to burn a hole. Before they could be questioned by police he reaches into his pocket, “Guys.” They all look at the male. “She’s pregnant.” He said showing them the pregnancy test. The group all looked in horror.

“Her heart stopped on the way to the hospital,” Giana spoke. Max, Carlos, Daniel, Oscar, and Charles all looked at each other in shock. “She had lost the baby. That was the only part she was devastated about.” She added. “What happened to Giannis?” Carlos asked, Ja Khel and Jirani looked at each other. “He was handled before taken to jail,” Jirani spoke shortly. “How far along was she?” Oscar asked. “14 weeks,” Keyani answered. The boys sat back in their seats in shock. Never did they think someone like Azha who is the epitome of sweet, compassionate, loving, and caring could have gone through what she had.

Clearing her throat Giana stood, “I’ll go check on Lando.” She spoke before walking out. Walking down the corridor she took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, remembering that day was like a nightmare to her. Shaking the images of Azha’s swollen and bloodied face from her mind. She spotted the driver sitting on the floor with his face tilted to the ceiling, his eyes closed. She slowly approached him, not wanting to startle him. She sat next to him, the driver could feel a presence next to him but kept his eyes shut. “You know at the beginning of my and Ja Khel’s relationship I used to push him away the same way Azha is doing to you.” The girl whispered. Lando opened his eyes and looked at the older woman questioningly. She continued, “Sure he was cute but I wasn’t interested in a relationship. But the more we hung out together I realized I really liked him. I got scared and began to push him away. Still, he persisted, he told me ‘I know you’re scared to confront this but I’m here to help you explore it. I’m not going anywhere no matter how much you try to make me leave. I’m not going to unless you can look me in my eyes and tell me you want me to leave’ and you know what I did?” Lando shook his head, “I couldn’t do it because he was right. I wanted him to stay. I wanted to explore this love. I was just scared of that feeling. Lando, that girl is enamored by you. She may have been acting like a bitch to you but those feelings run deep. It might not seem like it to you but you have to keep pushing back. Show her you’re not leaving. You both deserve to experience the love you both have for each other.” Giana spoke placing her hand on his and lightly squeezing it.

Lando felt tears well up in his eyes for what felt like the millionth time in the last seven hours. “I never got the chance to tell her.” His voice cracked. Giana pulled the younger man into her arms, and he began to sob in her arms. She tried to soothe him as he spoke every thought and feeling he was experiencing. “She will make it through this. You will be able to tell her exactly how you feel.” She spoke as the boy continued to cry out his feelings into her shirt. Later, Ja Khel rounded the corner in search of his fiancé, worried she had gotten lost. He seen the young driver asleep as his fiancé held him. She always had that motherly sense about her even before the two had their kids. He smiled at her as she returned it, “They have her settled in her room. Surgery was a success.” He whispered. She nodded, “Give him a few more minutes, he needs it.” Ja Khel hummed in agreement as he sat next to his fiancé. They all do. Soon Lando began to stir, opening his eyes and assessing his surroundings. He realized he was asleep in Giana’s lap. He sat up and began to apologize once he realized Ja Khel was there as well. The couple hushed the male. “Lando it’s fine, I know where your heart is. You needed the rest anyway after last night. The doctor came while you were asleep, Azha is in her room and the surgery was a success.” Ja Khel spoke. Lando nodded and the group stood up and headed back for the waiting room.

They all took turns sitting with the girl, she looked peaceful considering the circumstances. Lando sat there beside her bed. Her hand was cold in his, the only indication of life was the beeping of her heart monitor. The ventilator breathed for her. He didn’t want to leave her side ever. He couldn’t bear the thought that she could slip away while he was racing on the other side of the globe. He heard a voice call his name, “Lando.” He looked around the room and spotted her standing at the door. Oh now he has really begun to lose it he thought. “Lando, do not put your life on pause because of me. I will still be here when you get back.” Azha spoke walking towards him and placing her hand on his cheek making him look at her. He shook his head before leaning into her touch, “They can find another driver.” He stubbornly said. “Now you’re just being ridiculous, you’re lucky I can’t smack you or I would. You need to go race in Abu Dhabi. Not just for yourself, do it for me, Lando. Finish the race I couldn’t.” Was he really talking to her he thought? “But-.” “No buts. If you don’t go race and fuck up your career by sitting in that seat all depressed so god help me when I see you, I will run you over. Oh too soon?” The girl spoke. He nodded, “Fine. I’ll race but I’m catching the first flight back here.” Before he could speak he felt his body being shaken. “Lando, you have to eat something. Come on wake up.” Giana spoke. Blinking he looked around, Azha lay there the same as she had when he first entered the room. It was just a dream he thought solemnly. He sighed and nodded, thanking the woman for the food.

Arriving in Abu Dhabi two days later, Lando still felt bad leaving Azha’s side. ‘Four days, four days and I’ll be back’ he thinks to himself as he walks the media pen to begin the first set of interviews. Oh, how he didn’t miss media days now.

Lando had been struggling this weekend. First, with FP1 he has to sit out because of the reserve drivers. He wasn’t mad at them of course, it gave him a break from driving for the day and a break from overthinking about Azha. Then during FP2, Carlos crashed causing a red flag for almost half of the session nearly. Then Nico had crashed, Lando groaned hearing that another red flag was out and he had to return to his garage. Driving was the only thing keeping his mind off of Azha and he couldn’t even do that. Ja Khel, Jirani, Giana, and Keyani kept him updated on her condition. She seemed to be bettering as the days progressed. FP3 and Qualifying went as smoothly as they could. He had scored P5 on the grid for today’s race.

He was sitting in his car as he waited for the go-ahead to start the formation lap. He wondered how Azha was doing right then. The last thing he heard was that the doctors were taking her off of the ventilator yesterday.

Skip to end of Race

Lando had finished fifth in the final race of the season with his teammate right behind him. The same position he started the race. He was still angry about Perez colliding with him, but all he could think about was finishing his interviews and catching a flight to California. Back to her.

Azha’s hospital room, Azha’s POV

What the fuck was that annoying beeping sound and why wouldn’t it shut up I think to myself. I tried to lift my hand to smack at the sound but something stopped me. What the hell is going on? I open my eyes and wince at the lights although dimmed, they still hurt. This sure as hell isn’t the house or the garage, where am I? So many questions fly through my mind as I look around. A hospital? I spot Giana, Jirani, and Keyani all asleep around my room. I noticed Ja Khel watching the TV, it played the F1 race. I groan, why does he have that on? He must’ve heard me because his head snaps towards my direction. “Azha?” He whispers. “Yeah?” I croak. He flies out of his chair for the door yelling, “Nurse! Nurse!” Which then wakes up the other three. A group of nurses come in, brightening the lights and I flinch. Why the hell would you do that? “Ah Miss Azha, glad to see you’re awake. Do you remember anything?” The nurse asked, I shook my head no and took a sip of water another nurse handed me. The nurses looked at each other before she looked at me, “You’re at Zuckerberg Trauma Center in San Francisco. You were in a pretty severe car accident.” She said. Car accident? “It is normal to not remember, you should regain some memory of it in the upcoming days. I will alert the doctor that you’re awake. She will be here shortly.”

Abu Dhabi

Lando was in his driver’s room packing up his bag to head to the airport. He had brought his luggage with him figuring it would be easier to just grab it and go instead of having to stop at the hotel. His phone had begun to ring. Rushing over he seen it was Ja Khel. Lando answered immediately concerned about Azha’s condition. “Hey Kel, what’s up? How is she today?” He said expecting to hear the same ‘She’s still in a coma. Breathing on her own’ spiel. But he would be forever grateful for those updates. “She’s awake.” Lando heard the man speak. Lando almost dropped his phone at the statement. His heart began to hammer in his chest, hands starting to sweat. “She’s what?” He asked. He had to make sure he wasn’t dreaming so he pinched himself hard. Flinching he realized he was in fact not sleeping. “Lando she’s awake.” Ja Khel repeated. Lando rushed packing everything into his suitcase before rushing out the door and headed to the rental car. “I’ll be there in the morning. I will text you when I land.” The Brit spoke. Ja Khel smiled as he watched his sister talk with the nurses, “See you then.” They said their goodbyes before hanging up. The weekend had gotten brighter for Lando, all because of her once again. She made his world brighter like he had told the Quadrant crew.

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swabsandcream · 11 months

Text

A New Start

Detective Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N was an exceptional detective, responsible for solving several high-profile crimes alongside her partner while working with the Los Angeles Police Department. Shortly after losing her partner on the job, she decides to move out of LA to have a fresh start elsewhere.

Warnings: None

Part 2, Part 3

I think I’m going to like it here. Y/N thinks to herself as she takes in the view of the city of Detroit through her windshield while making her way to work. She was glad to be in a new place where everything was different, from the cold weather to the not so friendly neighbors she had encountered this morning. In a way, it helped her cope with the loss of her longtime partner who was also her best friend. She proceeded to think about him while on her way to meet her new partner for the first time.

A few minutes later she finally arrived at the Detroit Police Department. She stood outside the doors briefly to take a deep breath, then walked in with her head up high and a smile on her face. Making her way to the captain’s office, she was greeted by a few detectives and officers who were anticipating her arrival. She was already starting to feel welcomed once she politely entered the captain’s office to introduce herself. There were two men in the office, one who was clearly the captain sitting behind the desk, and she wasn’t sure who the other one was standing on the side of him. They were in the middle of a conversation, but stopped and turned to face her once she came in.

“Good morning, Captain Nelson. My name is-”

“Detective Y/N Y/L/N! Hello and welcome, nice to finally meet you. We were just talking about you and we’re both glad that you’ve decided to join our team.” She directed her attention from the captain to the man, who stood there quietly and gave her the meanest glare she’d ever seen in her life. She quickly observes him; young, brown hair and eyes, slightly taller than her, and on his belt was a badge that said ‘Detective’ in bold letters.

“So, you must be my new partner.” She approaches the man, holding her hand out and still wearing a smile on her face. There was a moment of silence, as the man hesitantly grabbed her hand and gave it a quick shake before releasing it.

“Detective Dick Grayson. We done here? I’d like to get back to work if you don’t mind captain.” The man stepped away from Y/N and slowly made his way to the door while waiting for the captain’s approval. Her smile began to fade as she kept her eyes on the man, disliking his cold and unfriendly demeanor.

“Sure Grayson, but once Y/N is ready to join the investigation I expect you to fill her in completely. Understand?” Dick scoffed at the captain’s words and left the office promptly.

“Wow. His name suits him very well.” Y/N’s joke cracks a smile out of Captain Nelson, who gestured her to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of him.

“Grayson’s a loner around here. Hes been trying to avoid having a partner since he transferred here a month ago from Gotham PD.”

“Gotham PD? Jesus Christ, I’d never even step foot in that city.”

“Yeah, apparently he lost his partner and decided to move on, just like you.” She leaned in to listen to the captain, fully intrigued by the newfound connection between herself and the cold stranger she’s being forced to work with.

“What happened to his partner?”

“Gassed by the joker, who knows?” They both let out a chuckle, but Y/N didn’t really find it funny. She started to feel like there may be a chance for her to get him to warm up to her.

Moments later, she had wrapped up her conversation with the captain and went to find her new desk, which is right across from her new partner. She found him focused on his computer, typing and reading the screen intently. She sat down in her chair, observing her new desk which only had a computer, a stapler, and a cup of pencils and pens on the side. She figured she would make herself at home and bring personal belongings tomorrow.

For now, she was trying to work up the nerve to speak up to her partner, who didn’t pay her any mind and continued working. She ended up observing him once more, although his attitude was ugly, he was definitely the opposite in the looks department. He was very nice to look at with his charming face, broad shoulders, the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up just enough to see just how toned his arms are. She was so caught up in her observations that she didn’t realize he had stopped looking at his computer and was staring directly at her.

She panicked, not knowing how long this went on for. She tried to quickly find something to say, but he beat her to it.

“Come over here so I can fill you in.” Dick scoots over in his rolling chair, giving her enough room to bring her chair next to him in front of his desk. She quietly rolled her chair next to him while sitting in it, avoiding eye contact with him and trying to focus on the stack of open files displayed in front of them.

“I’m in the middle of investigating a string of robberies taking place in the Downtown area. So far, two banks and one jewelry store have been hit in the past three weeks. I’m working on finding a pattern with the robberies, but progress has been slow since-”

“Since you’re trying to take this on all by yourself.” Y/N looks over at Dick, who kept his eyes on her as he sat back in his chair and folded his arms. She decides that this is the perfect time to try and win him over.

“Look, I heard you lost your partner. I did too. But that doesn’t mean we should give everyone else the cold shoulder and go off on our own.” Dick uncrossed his arms and sat back up as his demeanor began to transition from standoffish to empathetic.

“I’m sorry for your loss. What happened to him, if you don’t mind me asking.” The tone of his voice was much softer than before, which made Y/N feel comfortable enough to open up to him.

“We were holding a stakeout for some big-time drug dealers in South LA, but we were compromised. We ended up in a shootout with these guys. We called for backup...but they were too late. He died a hero and I just got lucky.” She turned away from Dick in effort to hide her eyes beginning to well up with tears.

Dick started to feel guilty about the way he initially treated her. He moved his chair closer to her and laid his hand on her shoulder, making her turn back around. She took a deep breath and used her fingers to wipe her eyes. She apologized to Dick, who immediately ensured her that there was no need to apologize. He moved his hand from her shoulder to her back, rubbing it in circles in effort to make her feel better. She gave him a bittersweet smile, and he slowly removed his hand from her back.

“We’ll solve this case together Y/N, and I won’t go off on my own. I promise.”

“Thanks, Detective Grayson.”

“Please, call me Dick.”

#richard dick grayson #dick grayson #dickgrayson #richardgrayson #detective grayson #titans #dc titans #dctitans #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson fanfiction #female reader #brenton thwaites #brentonthwaites

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octuscle · 6 months

Note

Heya bro! Been in a hot mood since last time you helped me get in touch with my armyman self. I'm now plagued by urges to own and control men. Think you can help bro? wouuld be mighty appreciated

Private, why the change of heart? Up to now you have felt very comfortable in the role of the unit's cum sluts. The quickest tongue and the tightest ass in the Navy. You certainly could have made a career out of it.

What I won't do (even if I could) is just promote you to sergeant major or something. Badges should be hard-earned, in my opinion. As I said, you were already well on your way, but if you want to own and control other men NOW, we'll find another solution.

You are currently in the port of Antwerp. A good place. You'll have tomorrow off and go out with your mates to the pubs. One after the other, you give in and go back to your ship. In the end, it's already after 02:00, you find yourself standing alone in front of a pub. "Boots". Looks nice. And the men who come out and go in look at you as if you're welcome. Okay, one last drink.

The bartender greets you by name and places a whiskey and an ashtray with a cigar in it. Shit, have you ever been here on your pub crawl? You're not that drunk yet… You take a sip of the whiskey. And pick up the cigar. A fellow in rubber jeans and a bare torso asks you if you need a light. "That means: May I give you a light, sir!" you growl back. The fellow straightens up and asks "Sir, may I give you a light, sir!" "Good lad" you reply, playing with his nipple piercings, letting him give you a light and blowing smoke in his face. You feel his hand on your bulge. You slap it away, take his chin in your hand (where did the leather gloves come from?) and growl at him that you can only reach your cock by kneeling. The first guests in the still packed bar begin to watch you. They expect a good show. And rightly so!

It doesn't take long before the rubber fellow is lying in the sling in the darkroom. You spit on your cock and slowly insert your boner into his asshole. The crowd around you cheers and starts to jerk off. You say very quietly that you only want to hear two people moaning. You and your victim. And whoever cums before you will definitely not be fucked today. The crowd around you barely dares to breathe. And they pull their bulging balls down with all their might to avoid cumming. Instead, you fill the rubber slut up until your cum drips out of his ass.

It's already daylight when you arrive at your apartment. That was another exhausting night. You've brought a bit of work with you. He's lying in the bedroom with a gag in his face, handcuffed to the bed and waiting. But let him wait. You need a cigar first. You don't let yourself be controlled. You control other men.

There are good sailors @emtrobarasalaplatja3. And the finest Belgian leather can be found @jihaimesblog

#male tf #reality change #chronivac #male transformation #tank top #age progression #leather tf

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illicitlimerence-writes · 2 years

Text

babies and bahrain | c. leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader word count: 4.4 words request: yes, by anons: "hii bestie can i get a fic where the reader and charles are guardians of their godchild and on the child calls them mommy and daddy for the first time? i love your writing btw I’ve been binge reading your fics." & "hii can i request a soft fluffy charles fic? i love your writing style 💕" & "hello! can we have a imagine with reader and charles with a long term relationship at bahrain gp 2022? 🥺" warnings: kids, fluff, angst, death(mentioned only), car crash (mentioned only), language (like one or two), hospitals. a/n: i am finally posting something. i've been hating everything i write lately, but hopefully it's only temporary because i want to work on something to celebrate when we (hopefully soon) hit 3k. literally can't believe i'm typing that. we're so close to three thousand, what the fuck. also, i have no idea how the legal system works, let's remember that this is all fiction, please.

my masterlist

the moment violet was born, you and charles fell in love with her. the first few months of her life you would visit the new parents every chance you could. caroline and nolan were close friends of charles, and they instantly welcomed you into their group when you and charles started dating. charles loved violet, he’d always get her every baby-related thing he saw wherever he went. dolls, princess onesies, toys, anything that reminded him of her.

you were the same, offering to babysit when your friends wanted some alone time, or wanted to go out for a date. often, the five of you would go out to kid-friendly spots.

‘violet needs to spend time with her favorite aunt and uncle’, charles would say. every chance he got, she was in his arms. caroline would always laugh, chastise him and tell him she would get used to being carried. 'good thing i have strong arms, then.' he'd reply, pressing his forehead against the baby's head.

it wasn't a surprise when you and charles were asked to be her godparents, but you were still over the moon when you arrived at their house and saw violet wearing a shirt that read ‘will you be my godparents?’. you and charles hugged the -then- six-month-old baby and her parents, promising to take care of her as much as you could.

the day everything changed, it started just like any other. you were in italy with charles, he had some duties at the ferrari museum in maranello, so you took the day to explore the city, seeing ferrari plastered on almost every wall. you entered a small shop and were instantly drawn to a plushie of a cat. violet loved cats. well, they didn’t have any pets, but everytime she saw one on tv she always yelled in delight. you picked it up and paid for it, walking to the museum to wait for charles.

you had a special badge around your neck, so security let you through without too much trouble. you sat on a bench outside, grabbing your phone to check if you had missed anything. you were scrolling mindlessly when you saw an unknown number calling. you recognized the area code as one in france. you frowned but picked up anyway.

you’d always wondered how you’d act in case of an emergency. you’d seen so many tv shows and movies where the characters ran through the hospital, some screaming, asking where their loved ones were, others in shock. you never thought, never hoped, to be in that position one day.

your heart was beating fast, pounding inside your chest as you held onto charles’ hand. he was almost running, following the signs until he reached a nurse station.

in shock. in case of an emergency, you were the one in shock. your eyes were glossy as you let charles guide you to the icu, you could hear him mumbling under his breath, but couldn’t understand what he was saying. you could see the automatic doors that led to the icu, you gripped charles’ hand before walking in, making him halt his steps.

he turned to look at you, he had small tears in the corners of his eyes. you threw your arms around his neck, pulling him down and hiding your face in his neck. the tears fell freely, you could feel his chest shaking as well.

“we have to go in,” charles said, still holding on to your waist. you nodded but didn’t let go of him. “we-we have to find out how they are, and-”

an unmistakable soft whimper made its way into your ears, charles paused mid-sentence and you both turned your heads to the side.

“violet!” charles said, you both ran to the woman who was carrying your goddaughter. ten-month-old violet’s eyes were wide open, you could see the terrified look on her face as she was in a completely unknown place with strangers. “is she okay?” he asked.

“she’s alright. she’s been checked by the pediatricians and everything seems fine,” she gave you a small smile, “i’m the social worker in charge of the case, who are you?” she asked.

“we’re violet’s godparents,” charles said, gripping your hand. your arms ached, longing to hold her in your safe embrace.

“w-why do they need a social worker?” you asked, placing your free hand on charles' arm. the social worker was about to speak when violet started crying. charles took a step, and violet leaned forward as well. charles took his goddaughter from the social worker's arms, and for the first time since you got that awful call, you let out a deep breath, knowing that violet was finally safe. you seemed to forget that there was someone else present, at that moment, all your focus was on violet, on the way she clung onto the both of you, her godparents, the only people she had left in the world now.

nolan and caroline didn’t have any direct family, but they had each other. and they had you and charles.

“can we see them?” you asked, violet was playing with your finger. “is- is caroline still in surgery?” the social worker didn’t know how to answer, she walked to the nurse station right outside the intensive care unit, where you’d heard they were keeping nolan. you followed her, your gaze flickering between violet, charles, and the social worker. the look on the latter’s face didn’t make you feel reassured.

“when can we see them?” charles asked again, a bit too loud than he intended, causing violet to flinch. charles handed her to you, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“only family is allowed in, and-”

“we’re family. we’re all the family they have,” charles interrupted.

you were told to wait, you sat on two uncomfortable chairs, holding violet in your arms. the social worker was standing in front of you.

“did you ever discuss what would happen with violet in case…” she started, you both froze.

“w-why are you saying that?” you asked, looking from her, to charles.

“the doctor is coming, he will fill you in on their condition, but… we need to know their wishes about violet’s future in case they don’t… you know,”

“we’ll take care of her,” charles said, without wasting a second, without any doubt. “that’s what we signed up for when we agreed to be her godparents. to take care and be there for her whenever,” he told her. then, he looked at you, you nodded your head, taking his hand in yours.

“we will take care of her, no matter what happens.”

the next few days went by in a blur. you felt so many emotions at the same time. grief, pain, fear, helplessness. you’d had to do so many things in just a few days. saying goodbye to your friends was probably the hardest. even though the doctors tried their best to save both of them, their injuries from the car crash were too much.

your full focus was on violet. you pushed aside your feelings and grief to focus on the little baby you’d now found yourself in charge of. you’d gotten in contact with a lawyer, who promised to help you as much as she could to get violet’s custody. you didn’t know if you were mentally prepared to take care of a child, but you weren’t alone. charles wanted this as much as you did, it was what you’d signed up for, as he said.

you’d recruited the rest of your friend group to look for a will or a document that stated their wishes for violet’s custody, but found nothing. you never talked about that topic, you were all way too young, you still had plenty of time you think about the future. or at least, you should’ve.

the second night after the funeral, violet was sleeping in the crib you’d bought a day before, next to your bed. you were lying on your side, your eyes were closed but you couldn’t sleep. you turned so your back was against the mattress, you looked up at the ceiling and sighed. you felt charles moving beside you, you turned your head to see him looking at you.

“did i wake you?” you whispered, he shook his head, giving you a small smile. you got closer to him, resting your head on his chest. you both stayed quiet, you could feel his fingers playing with your hair. “do you think we can do this?” you asked after a few seconds of silence.

“i don’t know,” he said, and even though it wasn’t the answer most people would’ve wanted, you felt comfort in knowing that he was just as nervous as you. “but i don’t want violet to go away, not when we can give her everything she needs,” he continued. “it will be difficult for all of us, but violet needs us,”

“of course. i want her with us as well, but are we ready for this change?”

“we have to be, there’s no turning back now. but hey, we’re in this together, okay? we got each other. it will take a little while to get used to a new routine, but we can do this, alright?” he said, grabbing your hand and lifting it up to his lips, pressing soft kisses to your knuckles. “we got this,” he nodded his head. you looked up at him, kissing his cheek.

a month passed, violet was still in your care whilst you were going through the adoption process. and now more than ever, you were sure that you were ready to give the little baby everything she might need. each day you spent with her you fell even more in love with her, you didn't know how it was possible, but she brightened up your day, she had taught you so much already.

of course, the first few weeks were messy, having to adjust to the presence of violet in your lives 24/7. there were nights when you thought you couldn't do it, nights when violet stayed up almost all night, crying uncontrollably, and you knew that the one thing she needed were her parents. you'd cry with her, sometimes.

one particular night, charles wasn't home, he'd traveled to paris, violet’s hometown and the place where all the legal process was taking place. you’d put violet down to sleep, since it was past her bedtime. you sat on a stool in the kitchen, replying to a text charles had sent. turns out, things were going to be a little more complicated than you had first thought. as you sent the text, you received a call from him.

"hi, love," you said, propping your phone against a napkin holder to see him better. he was sitting on a chair in his hotel room, you figured he must’ve made the call from his laptop, since you could see a mess of documents littering a wooden table.

“hey,” he sighed, you frowned.

“what’s wrong?” you asked, “didn’t get good news today?” you leaned your chin on your fist, your elbow propped on the kitchen island.

“no,” he shook his head, running his hands through his hair. you could see the dark circles under his eyes. “they said that- in order to adopt we-” he sighed before continuing, “at least one of us has to be twenty-eight years old, we have to be married- or prove that we’ve been together for a couple of years, and-” he rambled, you stopped him.

“hey, hey, slow down,” you said, watching as he shook his head in desperation. “charles, i know it looks like we might be in a gray area right now, but we have time. as long as violet can stay in our care, we have time to make sure every requirement is in order. we’re working with the best of the best, we’re all doing what we can. as long as we have violet’s custody, we’ll be okay,”

the morning of violet’s first birthday, you woke up extra early, wanting to surprise her. you went downstairs and started hanging decorations, balloons, colored strings, everything you’d bought a few days ago. once everything was finished, you checked her room to make sure she was still asleep, taking the baby monitor with you to the bathroom.

you’d always loved the luxury of taking long, warm showers, but now, with a kid under your care, you’d learned to shower in less than ten minutes. you did your hair in a comfortable way, and threw on some joggers and one of charles’ shirts, walking to violet’s room once you heard her moving around.

“good morning, princess!” you smiled, seeing violet standing up, holding herself up with her fists around the crib. “oh, you’re a big girl now, aren’t you?” you laughed as you approached her, running your hands through her hair, getting the curls away from her face. “you’re going to start walking any day now, miss,” she smiled, bending her knees in excitement, trying to jump as she giggled.

you held her in your arms, pressing soft kisses to the side of her head, to her cheek, her forehead. one of your arms was supporting her under her bum, you noticed that she was in desperate need of a diaper change, but you ignored that at that moment. your other hand was on her back, keeping her close to your chest. you’d installed black-out curtains in her room, to make sure she got as much sleep as possible in the mornings.

“happy first birthday, violet,” you whispered in her ear.

right then, with the little bit of sunlight peeking in through the curtains, for the first time, you felt like her mother. it wasn’t anything extraordinary, that was how you greeted her every morning, but that, you figured, was the beauty of motherhood. finding the special in the most simple and ordinary moments.

you looked up at the ceiling, feeling your eyes starting to burn as they filled with tears. maybe you didn’t have nolan and caroline anymore, but you had violet. and you promised to love her and protect her, raise and cherish her just as much as they would’ve done, had they had the chance.

violet lifted her arm, without measuring her strength, she moved it towards you, hitting you on your face. that brought you out of your thoughts. you laughed as you looked down at her, walking to the changing table you’d set up, you placed her down and changed her.

about thirty minutes later, you heard the front door opening and closing, you’d stayed upstairs with violet, waiting for charles to get there. he was in charge of setting up all of her presents, the ones you’d approved, and the ones charles secretly bought when you fell asleep that night a few weeks ago.

you were on the floor, playing with violet as you two heard the sounds of footsteps coming up the stairs. you looked at violet, who was still holding the bright yellow lego, but her eyes were now stuck to the opened door of her bedroom. you pulled out your phone, recording her curious face as her eyes widened in anticipation.

“who’s that?” you asked. you held back a laugh as charles finally appeared in her line of sight.

“where’s the birthday girl?” charles said, kneeling down, he spread his arms to the sides, watching as violet first started crawling her way to him, but then, she stopped. she kept her hands on the floor as she planted her feet on the floor. charles’ eyes widened, you’d told him that violet was standing up, but he hadn’t had the chance to see her.

instantly, you both leaned closer to her, your were both ready to step in and catch her if she couldn’t keep her balance. but, she stood up, she straightened her back as you and charles held your breaths, and then, she took her first steps, rushing to charles’ awaiting arms.

this all happened in a matter of seconds, but to you, it felt like the clock slowed down, like she was moving in slow motion.

her loud squeals brought you back to reality, you saw charles holding her against his chest, still kneeling on the floor.

“oh, you did so good, violet! that’s my big girl,” charles kissed her temple, “i missed you so much. i was gone for a week, and now you’re walking?” he continued talking to her, you stopped recording, placing your phone in the pocket of your sweatpants, kneeling next to your loves. “i thought she was just starting to stand up?” charles asked, you nodded.

“those were her first steps,” you said, voice a little groggy as you kept your eyes on violet, who was playing with charles’ hair, grabbing fistfuls and tugging lightly.

“first steps… first birthday…” charles counted, throwing an arm around your shoulders to pull you close to him. you leaned your head against his shoulder, and violet stopped what she was doing to look at you two.

she was still standing up, charles had a hand on her back to help her up. she looked back and forth from you two, the smiles on your faces were so wide that your cheeks were starting to hurt.

“da!” she said, dropping down to her bum, crawling away, leaving you both speechless.

“first word?” charles breathed, you frowned.

“is ‘da’ even a word?” you asked, mostly annoyed because it was a word that resembled ‘dad’.

“in baby language, i think it is,” he smiled smugly, you rolled your eyes as you turned to violet, picking her up.

“hey, baby. say ‘ma’,” you instructed, violet stayed quiet, then, she opened her mouth.

“da!” she repeated, you sighed, kissing her cheek before passing her off to charles. “da!” she said as she looked at charles.

“yeah, that’s her first word,” you laughed, admitting defeat.

six months later, you and violet slipped through the crowd of people, sneaking your way to the ferrari motorhome. it was the first race of the season, and you had to admit, you missed being there.

you’d been with charles for what felt like forever at that point, coming close to eight years. you’d met, fallen in love and started dating as teenagers, and you’d been there every step of his career. your relationship was one that the public had always been curious of, given that you were both extremely private and cautious with what you let the rest of the world see. when you stopped attending the races for almost half of the year last year, people had started wondering if you’d split up. but as you walked with violet in your arms, charles’ hand around your shoulders, that was a clear statement.

you were scared of attending a race with violet, but you were a family now, and you needed to support charles, you knew he needed you there. you were going to stay inside the ferrari hospitality the entire time, away from the cameras and public. you were inside charles’ room, playing with violet whilst he got ready.

violet was starting to speak a bit more, so most of your time was spent over-pronouncing easy words in hopes to get her to repeat them. she was a smart girl. after having her first birthday, first steps and first word all in the same day, you knew you had a little genius in your hands.

“the car goes fast,” you said, moving your lips slowly, watching violet’s eyes go from your lips to your eyes. she babbled, you smiled as you kissed her temple, repeating the sentence again. “the car goes fast,”

“hell yes it does,” charles said, walking in. he had his racing suit on, the zipper was down, though, and you could see his fireproof undershirt. he grabbed violet, who played with the velcro strap.

“don’t swear,” you patted his leg, standing from your spot on the couch. “you ready?” you asked, kissing his cheek. violet noticed, and she did the same, making charles laugh.

“i think so,” he nodded, “i’ve got my two girls here, i can do pretty much anything right now,” he pressed his lips against violet’s temple. “but-”

“charles, we need you for something,” there was a knock on the door, and charles sighed. he’d promised to spend as much time as he could with you, even though you’d promised him it was okay, that he still had to focus and prepare for the race, but he had missed having you there and wanted to stay there with you two.

“it’s okay,” you grabbed violet, who frowned, she’d only gotten a few minutes with charles, why was he leaving again so soon? “we’ll be right here,” you smiled, leaning in to kiss charles’ cheek, but he turned his head, meeting your lips with his.

“i will be right back, okay?” you nodded as he hugged you both. he walked out of the room without looking back, despite how much he wanted to stay.

violet whimpered, you looked down at her and chuckled.

“it’s okay, baby, he’ll be right back, okay?” you sat her down on the couch, “da will be right back,”

as it turned out, violet called both you and charles ‘da’. it was the one word she associated with the two of you. much to charles’ dismay.

“oh, love, it’s okay,” you cooed, noticing violet’s teary eyes. “it’s just for a little while, my love.” you grabbed her again, and started walking around the room, gently rocking her in your arms. she wasn’t a loud crier, but her tears were just as real. “oh, violet, don’t cry, you’re making me cry, too!” you chuckled, pulling her close to your chest.

a few minutes passed, you could still feel your shirt getting damp from her tears, when the door behind you was opened.

“what’s wrong?” charles asked, and violet struggled in your arms. you put her down and she ran to charles.

“dada!” you froze, your eyes went wide as you watched charles crouch and catch violet in his arms. “dada,” she repeated, her tiny arms on his neck.

“it’s- it’s okay, violet. i- dada’s here,” he said, letting out a shaky breath as his eyes met yours.

“charles-” you started, feeling your eyes burning.

“dada,” violet started, turning her head back, “mama!” she called for you. you couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. you just stood there, with wide, teary eyes, as the child that you’d promised to love and raise as if she were your own, called for you. “mama, mama,”

charles was just as shocked as you were, but he snapped out of it first, walking to you once he noticed that you were still processing it.

“d-did she… did she…” you couldn’t finish your question, but charles was already nodding his head.

“dada. mama.” apparently those two words had become violet’s favorite ones. you let out a laugh, wrapping your hands around charles’ back, with violet stuck between your bodies.

“yes, violet. dada and mama are here.” charles said. you just breathed deeply.

violet didn’t know what was going on around her. she didn’t know why the people wearing red were standing up, clapping and yelling. she didn’t know why you were standing up as well, with your palms pressed together, covering your mouth. she didn’t know why you had tears in your eyes.

“dada won, violet!” she didn’t understand what that meant, but you were smiling, so she smiled as well. you picked her up in your arms, someone handed you a pair of headphones, you placed them on violet’s ears to protect her from the loud noises.

you’d promised to stay inside the ferrari motorhome, but you weren’t counting on charles getting the first win of the season, his first in a while, his first with his family there with him.

you were escorted to the podium ceremony, arriving just in time to see charles stepping out of the car. he jumped out of the car and ran to his crew, you were breathing fast, your cheeks hurting from smiling so hard, there were tears in your eyes as you watched charles.

“that’s dada,” you told violet, even though she probably couldn’t hear you with all the noise.

you waited a few minutes, for charles to finish getting weighed, before someone talking to him pointed in your direction.

he smiled as he ran to you, wrapping his arms around the two of you.

“that was amazing, my love.” you said, grabbing his face to direct his lips to yours. “i love you so much, you deserve this!” you smiled.

“dada! mama!” violet said, annoyed that you weren’t paying attention to her.

“sorry, violet. dada and mama are here. we love you, too,” charles gave you two one last hug before he had to be taken away for interviews.

violet was sleeping between you two, she was curled up on her side, resting her head on charles’ chest. you couldn’t blame her, that was how you loved to fall asleep, too. you couldn’t sleep, you still had that remaining rush of adrenaline running through your system, which made it hard for you to succumb to sleep. you turned to your side, leaning forward to kiss violet’s cheek softly, then charles’ lips. you left the bed, sliding open the door to the balcony.

you could hear people partying out there. you leaned your arms against the railing, thinking about how, if you didn’t have violet, you would probably be out there with them. but you wouldn’t change your little family for anything.

“what are you doing out here?” you heard charles’ sleepy voice, felt his arm around your waist.

“just thinking,”

“about?” he asked, kissing your shoulder. you smiled, turning your head to the side to look at him.

“how i wouldn’t change this for anything in the world,” you answered, biting your bottom lip. “i love you and i love violet, and i’m so lucky to call you both mine,” he didn’t answer, just turned you around so your back was against the railing, his hands on your waist.

“we should make it all official, then,” he said after a few seconds, you leaned back, tilting your head up to look at him. “marry me,”

“charles leclerc, after almost eight years of dating, this is how you’re proposing to me?” you raise an eyebrow, joking to avoid letting tears take over you.

“no,” he shook his head, a small smile on his face, “you deserve something much better. our child needs to be part of it, for starters,”

“of course,” you laughed. you placed your arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair.

“will you, though?” he asked.

“what?”

“marry me?”

that was a question that you both knew the answer to.

“yes,”

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pinkkittysaw · 8 months

Text

I AM AFRAID NOT OF LEAVING, BUT BEING FORGOTTEN

*the title is part of a quote from the book Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib

pairing: clive rosfield x f!reader

summary: unable to deal with your bouts of insecurity, you try to call it quits on your relationship with clive

word count: 3.5k

content: hurt/comfort, established relationship, self flagellation (talks of insecurity and self doubt/deprecation), unhealthy coping mechanisms, allusions to anxiety, extremely self indulgent

(18+) this piece is sfw but am uncomfortable with minors interacting with my work

a/n: dealing with a lot of anxiety and thoughts of worthlessness/hopelessness so i created this in hopes of alleviating some of those feelings 👍

also if you’re interested, i listened to Need 2 by Pinegrove while writing this. figured it’d help set the mood while reading

divider by @/saradika

"You're still sleeping in the bunks? Clive returned yesterday, you know." Jill teases as she sits on the edge of the bed you've chosen to occupy for the past few nights. It wasn't unusual for you to reside in the bunks whenever Clive was away on an assignment; the big bed that occupies his chambers being too spacious to bear during nights spent alone.

What was unusual, however, was that you continued to spend your evenings there after he had already returned. Having once been so eager to jump into his sturdy arms after catching wind of his arrival back at the hideaway. You were often caught running down to the pier once the ferryboat came into view, excitedly waiting for him at the dock while waving your arms like a madwoman. When Jill heard from Clive that the two of you hadn't spoken since before he left, she immediately knew something was amiss.

"I'm aware," you grumble into the pillow that you're currently holding over your face.

"Did something happen between you two?" She probes, a frown forming on her features as she scoots closer to you. "Did he hurt you? Because I swear to Founder if he-"

"No, no, no, it's nothing like that," you interrupt, removing the pillow. "He's lovely. I just..." Hesitation creeps into your voice as your words trail off. To be honest, you're not quite sure how to describe what you're experiencing at the moment. "I'm feeling...unwell." Though it's not a physical illness that ails you, you hope that your response is satisfactory enough for her to leave the conversation be.

"Have you come down with something? I can help you to the infirmary if you need."

"It's nothing that serious. I'll be alright." You give her a half-hearted smile in an attempt to reassure her. She eventually yields, though still not convinced of your words.

With a shake of her head and a heavy sigh, she rises to stand. "He'll come looking for you sooner or later." Padding across the room from your bunk to the entrance, she looks back at you before making her exit. "You can't avoid him forever."

You scoff when she's just out of earshot. Like hell you can't, you think to yourself. Wearing your self-isolation on your sleeve like a badge of honor. Whenever you wanted to disappear from people's lives, you did, regardless of how much it hurt. This time was no different.

The truth of the matter is that you were avoiding Clive; the reasons for doing so were nobody's fault but your own.

In your eyes, you were so much weaker than he, often thinking you were undeserving of a man of his caliber. He harnesses the strength to take on entire eikons, whereas you peril in comparison, so after ruminating on your feelings of worthlessness one night, you decided to call it quits, figuring that it was for the best and choosing to avoid him so you didn't have to confront your own inadequacy. Perhaps it wasn't the healthiest choice, but it was the one you decided to go with.

The next few days are spent taking on as many assignments as you can, with the hope of eluding Clive. The majority of his time was spent away from the hideout, but you could never be too careful.

Rushing over to check the alliant reports at first light and carrying on well throughout the day. From dawn til dusk, you worked yourself to the bone only to collapse in your bunk at the end of the day, dead to the world, rising early from your slumber to repeat it all again the next day.

Apparently, Clive caught on to your little scheme because, after one late afternoon, someone stood waiting for you at the pier upon your return to the hideaway.

After thanking Obolus, you make your way over to the fellow bearer to inquire about what's going on. "Clive's looking to speak with you in his chambers; he said it was urgent," she states.

"It can't wait?"

"He seemed rather insistent; best not keep him waiting."

"Of course, thank you for letting me know." You smile at her before making your way over to his chambers, grumbling to yourself. You climb the steps to his room with a pout on your face, not looking forward to the conversation awaiting you on the other side of the door.

After taking a moment to collect yourself, you extend your arm to gently knock on the door. "Come in." His voice calls out from inside the room.

You push apart the two slabs of wood separating his chambers from the main deck and step inside. He's sitting at his desk to your left, quill in hand, stripped down to just his tunic and trousers, his leathers and armor removed, while his sword rests against the wall. Fuck, you think to yourself. He must be set on staying a while. There's no escaping him this time.

You make quick work to occupy yourself with the objects scattered around the room as you move to stand in front of his desk. You're surprised to see a pile of your forgotten clothing neatly folded on the couch that sits against the opposing wall, as well as the various knickknacks you've added to his desk during your time together. Albeit an overreaction, you half expected your things to be tossed into the lake's abyss with how you were acting.

"Ah," he says as he looks up from his writing, setting down the quill. "There you are. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of having your clothes washed, should you want them back."

"But if not, I could always make space for them here."

Your eyes meet his as the statement leaves his mouth. It's an invitation, an olive branch extended to you in hopes of making peace. The implication of his words, the domesticity of it all, leaving bits and pieces of each other in one another's lives, even after all that you've done to push him out of yours, leaves a bitter aftertaste in your mouth, making you realize just how truly undeserving of his love you really are.

A mumbled "Thank you" is all you can offer him in response.

"It's no problem." He stands up from his seat; both his hands lay flat on the desk below as he peers down at you. "I've heard you've been making yourself quite scarce lately."

"Your undertaking of assignments has increased significantly. It's almost as if...you've been avoiding me." He states it like a question, trying to gauge your reaction and see if you'll give him something he can latch on to.

"That's not true," you scoff. It is true, and you both damn well know it, but you keep up the facade anyway.

He exhales the breath he was holding, easing up on the interrogation. "I admit, I've been spending more time away from the hideout, but you can't seriously expect me to believe that your behavior lately is normal."

"I haven't seen as much as a glimpse of you since before I left."

Frustration grows in your belly; you're tired of running, tired of hiding, and tired of pretending. "I can't do this anymore, Clive."

"Can't do what?"

"This. Us."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just not good enough for you... or anyone."

"I shouldn't even be here. I'm not strong enough to fight alongside the cursebreakers," you gesture into the open air. "I lack the wit to come up with strategies to help take down the Mothercrystals, and I've got as much charm as a bloody morbol."

"I've read the missives from the past few days, all of which praise you for your tact, your kindness, dedication, and care. Just because you're not on the frontlines doesn't mean you're not making an impact."

"What good is any of it?" You raise your voice. "What good is helping with crops, fetching supplies, and slaying meager monsters if it's the next day that our people are led to slaughter?"

"The imperials tighten their grip across the realm with each passing moon, and what I do in the grand scheme of things is the equivalent of sitting on my arse twiddling my thumbs. I'm about as useful as a corpse."

"ENOUGH." His voice boomed and bellowed, loud enough that people down on the main deck probably turned their heads at the sound. "Sit," he commands, pointing to the couch across the room, and you dare not disobey.

Embarrassed that you've stirred up such a fuss, you sit yourself down on the piece of furniture and hang your head low, preparing for a scolding. Not that it wouldn't be deserved; Clive has enough to worry about with the Mothercrystals and bearers, now having to also quell the insecurities that linger in your heart.

Just suck it up and do better is what you've always been told, but try and try and try as you might, you can never seem to get there. You're never enough. Can your strengths even be called strengths if there's so many out there who can do everything you do but better?

You don't bother raising your head to him as he paces back and forth, not wanting him to see another weakness of yours in the form of your tears. He gives a heavy sigh as he collects his thoughts, pinching his nosebridge while searching for the right words. "I apologize for raising my voice, but I simply cannot bear how critical you are of yourself, especially when I know for a fact that your fears are unfounded."

He marches up to where you sit on the couch, caressing your cheek and nudging your face in his direction. You can't bring yourself to meet his icy blues, knowing your heart would burst at the seams under his gaze or the kind smile that he reserves just for you. You don't deserve it, not with the way you've acted, so instead you turn your head in the opposite direction, refusing to indulge in his affections. His grip is a tad more firm as he attempts to move your face once more. You don't have the strength to resist his pull, so you let him maneuver your jaw to face him.

Tears begin to flow down your cheeks, and your lower lip wobbles as you attempt to hold in your sobs. His eyes widen as he sees the state that you're in, and with a gentle finger, he lifts your chin up.

"Will you look at me, please?" His voice isn't as strong as it once was moments before. There's a small break in his tone, almost as if he's pleading with you. Feeling exhausted now, you lift your eyes to meet his. They're not filled with anger or disappointment, but with concern, and more tears pool in your waterline as you scan his face.

"Oh, sweetheart," he whispers, bringing his thumbs to wipe away the tears spilling from your eyes before sitting down beside you. He surveys your sullen expression before pulling you into a hug. His warmth surrounds you in his embrace, and a part of you hates how secure it makes you feel.

Always relying on others to get by, you'd be dead without him, and you know it. You're a hopeless, bumbling mess trying to find your way through a dark maze.

You cry more into his shoulder, soaking through his tunic with your tears, despite your best efforts to remain unfeeling and stoic. It's all too much all at once, and his comfort only agitates the ache deep within your heart.

"Let it all out; I'm right here."

"You're safe," he murmurs in your ear, stroking a comforting hand up and down your back.

"I don't deserve you, Clive."

"You don't deserve to see me like this," you manage to choke out between sobs. The force of your crying is so violent against him that you start hiccupping and gasping for air.

He doesn't respond to your claims, not yet anyway, knowing that doing so would only rile you up more—choosing to hold you instead, rocking you slightly from side to side. He waits for you to calm down before addressing you, and you don't attempt to speak again, your shortness of breath not allowing for any more words to be uttered. You allow yourself to rest in his arms like you've done many times before, and after a short while, your wails are reduced to nothing but sniffles.

Once you've become a bit more settled, he pulls away from the embrace only to fetch a hankerchief, giving you a few minutes to collect yourself. He sits back down with you, his free hand grasping yours firmly, grounding you. The weight of his fingers interlocked with yours serves as a reminder that he's here; he's with you.

"I apologize for the outburst," you say, wiping your face down with the cloth before shifting your attention to him once more.

"No need for apologies, my love. I'd much rather you cry in my arms than continue to bottle this feeling inside you and let it fester."

You look away from him, turning toward the gaps in the wall of his chambers where the sunlight peaks through. You stare out at the lake below, watching as the black water laps at the walls of the hideaway.

Your voice takes on a somber tone when you speak next. "You deserve someone better than me, Clive, someone stronger." The air surrounding you two is still but its weight is all too heavy.

"Don't be ridiculous," he chides, his body turning to face you as he throws an arm over the backrest of the couch.

"If only I was." You let your words drift off into the ether before speaking again. "You deserve someone who can bear the weight of her own burdens, who's strong enough to not fall apart at every small inconvenience, someone who doesn't need to run into the comfort of your arms like a petulant child. I'm not worth everything you do for me—the kindness, the generosity, the love—none of it."

He scoots closer to you, bringing a hand to grasp at your hip, his thumb stroking it back and forth. "Is that not my right as your lover? To see you at your weakest and most vulnerable and still love you anyway?"

"I'm nothing, Clive. It's been that way since the day I was born. I'm not worth trying to save, just deadweight that needs to be tossed overboard."

"You think I'm a sinking ship, then? that I can't ‘handle’ you?" He gestures in the air.

"I can barely handle myself. Let's just end this before it's too late."

"Don't I have a say in the matter? You're making all these decisions about us without so much as a forethought for how I feel."

"It's better this way."

"Better for who? The self-destructive thoughts in your head? Because it's certainly not better for me and I'd go as far to say that it's not what you really want either. So pray tell, what's the real issue here?Where is all this stemming from?"

You shoot a glare his way—a defensive one, but still a glare nonetheless.

He reaches out to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. It feels like no matter what you do, it's always wrong. Here you were acting like a brat to the man you loved, and here he was, being patient with you like a saint.

You relent, letting him have a peek into the inner world that you've kept a secret all this time. "There's a horrible weight in my chest carried with me wherever I go, wrapped up tight in my gut like a ball of twine, and no matter what I do, it comes back. I can't shake it. I can't shake anything. I'm still here, a mess of fear and nerves."

"I'm angry, vengeful, and mean, but at the same time, I'm scared of everything, timid and fragile as a mouse. If weakness were a person, it'd be me. Sometimes it's a miracle that i'm even able to do the things I do. I rely on you too much, and it scares me."

"You're anything but weak, my love. In fact, I think being vulnerable and open like this takes immense strength." He continues to caress your face.

"I'm not strong enough to fight alongside you. I'm useless when it comes to taking down the Mothercrystals."

He chuckles. "If physical strength was all I cared about, I would have taken a brute as my lover."

"Clive…" You roll your eyes in a playful manner, appreciating his attempt at lifting your mood.

The sun is setting now, and his chambers are tinted with a pale orange-yellow hue. The light reflects off the water, and you gaze upon the lake below while his gaze lingers on you.

"Come," he states, extending a hand as he stands up from the couch. You take his hand in yours as he leads you over to the gap in the wall, both admiring the sunset together. It's a beautiful evening; the clouds are painted pink and orange as the sun dips below the horizon.

"I'm serious, you know," he nudges your shoulder. The beginnings of a smile paint your features—a smile that he takes as a small win.

"Clive, I-" He presses a finger to your lips, silencing you. "Just listen, please," you nod, and he turns, facing the scenic view again, the sunlight bouncing off the yellow tones of his skin. "Do you remember traveling to the Apodetry all those years back? When I couldn't grapple with the fact that I was Ifrit and very well may have killed my own brother?"

You don't say anything, but you nod, and then he continues. "I'm not sure if I ever would have come to terms with it if you weren't by my side." He lets out a small sigh. "You say that you can't handle your own burdens, that I deserve someone stronger, but the truth is, without you, I might never have been able to bear my own. I'm not sure if I'd be the man I am today if I didn't have you, so don't you dare imply that I'd somehow be better off without you."

"You're right when you said I don't need you. It is not a matter of need or deserving, my love, but a matter of want. I want you. I desire you so wholeheartedly."

"I know that I alone am not enough to quell these thoughtsof yours, especially after the life you've lived-" he turns to face you again, his thumb grazing the leftover scar on your cheek from the removal of your brand, "-but please believe me when I say that you do matter, and not just to me, but to everyone here, to every person you've helped, to every soul you've graced with your kindness. Would you say those who work in the backgarden are unworthy of being here, simply because they don't wield a blade and march in the frontlines?"

"No," you pout.

He smiles. "Then I implore you to extend that same kindness to yourself." He steps closer, moving to nuzzle your nose with his. "Though you're not taking down Mothercrystals, you're showing people that there's still hope—that kindness can still exist in a world where harsh cruelties befall those who never deserve it."

"A twinkling light is left with everyone you help, no matter how minuscule it seems."

"We chose this undertaking so that dominants and bearers alike could live the lives they choose. If a life of peace is what you want, then it's one that you shall have. You shouldn't be fighting each and every day just so you can make it to the next."

Both of your foreheads press together as he continues to speak. "You don't need to throw yourself to the wolves. You're done with having to earn through suffering. You're done having to prove your worth. You don't have to earn your right to exist and be happy, not with me or anyone else here."

He presses his lips against yours. "I love you," he whispers in between the kiss. "Your vulnerabilities, your fears... They are not shortcomings, my love. They are what make you who you are, and though I wish I could make your pain a bit more tolerable, I wouldn't change a single thing about you, ever."

He presses more kisses on your lips, sweet, loving, and gentle. "You are my strength, my everything. I love you so much."

Bathed in the dying light of the sun, you hold each other tender with a slow brushing of lips against each other, and though such demons of the mind aren't so easily bested, you're given a moment's solace in the warm embrace of your lover, knowing that no matter what ails you, you'll face it together.

"I love you too, Clive."

#clive rosfield x reader #final fantasy x reader #final fantasy xvi x reader #final fantasy 16 x reader #x reader #hurt/comfort #angst #clive rosfield angst #final fantasy angst #final fantasy xvi angst #final fantasy 16 angst #✰ミ angel writes

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