#I wanted to make this post like forever but life happens...
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Do you think Tommy is here to stay for a while? How do you think is going to evolve his relationship with Buck? Will we get another kiss next episode?
I would love for him to stay forever!! Love him!!
Hey, Anon! Thanks for stopping by! I love talking about anything related to bucktommy, so you've basically made my day with your ask!
This turned into a long ass post, so I'm putting the rest under the cut.
Yes, I really do think Tommy is here to stay for a while because, honestly, he's the perfect LI to become Buck's endgame.
And I know that that thought is the biggest issue with certain stans right now, but like, he can easily have little storylines weaved throughout the series with the main and guest stars. And, if you actually read the interviews that the actors and Tim are doing, it's clear that's the goal. In fact, I was actually going to make a post for that idea, but I'll just add it here:
Hen, Chim, Bobby
Tommy clearly has a connection to Hen, Chim, and Bobby from his days at the 118. We've seen it in S2, so it's a canon fact. Chim saved his life, so that's a strong fucking bond right there. Not to mention they clearly enjoy quoting movies and probably discussing the plot of movies together. (Thank you, Bobby begins for the bar scene) Tommy was there when Kevin died, too, so he understands the loss that Chim has experienced through the job. And let's not forget that he had the opportunity to watch Chim become an amazing paramedic.
When it comes to Hen, he helped get rid of Captian Gerrard when Hen was being put through hell. (And yes, I do believe he said something to the higher ups. He is a military guy, and following the chain of command is very important to them, so I'm not surprised he never voiced his opinions outloud. Add that with the idea that he was very deep in the closet, he was probably terrified of that man.) And he knows that when it comes to Hen, she will never give up to do what's right and I like to think Tommy took a page from her book and applied that to his life on his journey to accept himself.
Then Bobby. Probably the first man in a leadership position that treated him with kindness and respect. When Bobby comes to the 118, there's some resistance, mostly from Sal, but even through all that, Tommy sees that Bobby is fair (transferring Sal to another station instead of fully firing him) and welcoming (by incorporating family dinners).
Athena
I was struggling with how he'd be connected to Athena, but then I remembered: trivia night!
Athena and Bobby used to have game night with Michael and David. Can you IMAGINE Bobby and Athena inviting Buck and Tommy over for dinner and game night??? I can. And I am so here for it!
Teams would absolutely be: Bobby and Buck. Athena and Tommy.
And let's face it. Athena sees Buck as Bobby's un-adopted son, so if Tommy makes Buck happy, Athena is good.
Karen
This one is interesting and maybe a tiny bit of a stretch, but I really believe that Tommy and Karen could connect through their interest for aviation/aerospace. She's a rocket scientist for crying out loud. He'd be like a little kid at the place where she works.
I also like to think that maybe, due to his childhood and being constantly between homes, he can help discuss the trauma that Mara might feel.
Maddie
I mean, the most important thing to her is that Tommy obviously makes her little brother happy and giddy. She wants to meet him, which is something I can't recall Buck or Maddie ever saying before about one of Buck's LI. Maybe Abby, but Buck was living in her apartment soooo... yeah.
I know Lou has revealed the backstory he has set up in his mind for Tommy and after saying his father was an alcoholic, I can't stop thinking that maybe little Tommy unfortunately experienced abuse from his father or witnessed it happening to his mom. Tommy, having a childhood connected to domestic violence, while not in the exact same way that Maddie experienced it, gives them something in common on a deeper level. An understanding of how important it is to accept love and open yourself up to the possibility.
Eddie
Eddie's friendship with Tommy is actually so interesting to me too because I have this crazy "invisible string" theory that includes him.(Platonically) But, moving on...
Clearly, they share a love of the same things. Muay Thai, watching fights, cars, Buck, basketball, the military.
For me, the military is their real connection because of Eddie's breakdown. No one else in Eddie's life can really understand what he's gone through and how it feels to maybe be the only one of your unit to survive. I'm pretty sure Tommy has already gone through therapy, and since Eddie had no one to reach out to with shared trauma like Frank suggested, he found that second chance in Tommy.
Buck
I mean... they connected lips and soon hearts. 🥺 Sooo....
Next question...
I really hope their relationship evolves in the cutest, sweetest, sometimes naughty, way!
I want to see nervousness. I want to see them learning things about each other. I want them to cuddle and laugh and go on double dates.
I want them to worry about the other one during a dangerous call or rush to each other at a moments notice.
I want to see them fall so in love with each other that I can sue ABC for giving me cavities from all the sweetness.
Having said that... I also want to see disagreements. Arguments and vulnerability and then the process of apologizing and making up.
So, basically, I want them to evolve into a healthy, stable, loving relationship.
And hell yeah! There will be a kiss on Thursday. I'd like to believe we'll see more than one just because of Oliver's interview, but for sure, we're getting one initiated by Buck and honestly I cannot fucking wait!!!!
I want him to stay forever, too. You're not alone 🩵
#911 spoilers#911 abc#911 fandom#evan buckley#bucktommy#tommy kinard#911 speculation#tevan#kinley#buck x tommy#tommy x buck#anon 🩵
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Fuck It Friday!!
Tagged by @tizniz @thekristen999 both of whom shared fics I cannot wait to read!! (And probably cry through 😁) 🩵💜
I have three more kiss prompts I'm working on, but since I already posted two and another whole fic this week, I'm trying to pace myself lol. We're all back in our shooting era (I never left 😅) so I'm hoping to get Eddie's second oh moment finished soon. I wrote this last night half asleep. Does it make sense? You tell me:
Loving Buck grew over time, like a vine in his chest, curling around his ribs and beneath his sternum to cradle his heart.
The flowers bloomed before he even knew the vine was there.
And now that he knows, now that he wants to feel the softness of the petals every time Buck's shoulder brushes his own, or admire the bright blooms every time Buck smiles- now that he knows he loves Buck, he can't.
When he first met Buck, there might've been something there. Not exactly attraction, but… curiosity? Something about Buck made Eddie want to be close to him. And then they could've died together and Buck stepped into that ambulance with him without a second thought. Eddie was struggling to find help for Christopher, and too afraid to ask for it, but Buck brought him Carla without feeling like he had to ask.
Then Shannon came back, and the vine that had been in his chest since they were kids came back to life and bloomed into bright yellow flowers he wanted to nurture and protect forever.
Forever doesn't last long.
So much happened in such a short time after that. The bombing, a tsunami, Chris' nightmares, Eddie's bruises. And a lawsuit that kept Buck separated from them.
Maybe that's when the vine first started growing, trying to reach out of his chest in hopes of pulling Buck back. They had just lost Shannon, and the only other person Eddie wanted- needed- cut himself off.
When they finally mended fences, the vine started growing again, and bloomed with blue flowers as bright as Buck's eyes even as they were splashed with blood.
The shocked look on Buck's face flashes through Eddie's mind and he snaps his book shut as a reflex.
Hen looks over at him from where she's sprawled across the other armchair. “What's wrong?” she asks. “You look like you saw a ghost.”
Eddie glances around to see Buck and Chim both looking his way now.
Fuck.
Absolutely no pressure tagging: @13shadesofanni @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway
@daffi-990 @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @actuallyitsellie
@spagheddiediaz @theotherbuckley @wildlife4life @hippolotamus
@diazsdimples @steadfastsaturnsrings @ronordmann @fortheloveofbuddie
@bidisasterevankinard @rainbow-nerdss @kitteneddiediaz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove
@daniwib @shipperqueen6 @lunarspark-cos @likeamollusconarock
@idealuk @lin27 @misshiss727 @jshadow01
@smallandalmosthonest @weareallstoriesintheend11 @orangeboxfox92 and anyone else who wants to share!! 🩷🥰
#911#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#911 abc#fanfic#9-1-1#my writing#buddie wip#911 wip#title: oh what a way to die#i cannot be blamed#guilty as sin? is Eddie's song#fuck it friday
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#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
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possibly a niche statement but i feel like writing a character recounting a story is surprisingly difficult to do, like when i’m writing/reading i feel like That aspect of a fic is where accurate characterization consistently seems to breaks down
#N posts stuff#believe me tho i do understand it because as a writer you really want to get your point across#so you want to be descriptive and make it clear what happened so the reader knows#but the problem is that oftentimes your character does NOT want to be clear or consistent#so you have to pick one to sacrifice: your series of events or your characterization#because straight up some characters would rather jump from a moving vehicle than be honest about an event that happened in their life#also because a recounted story can get like. rough in the word choice between words you want to use to be descriptive#and words your character would Actually say — like there are just some characters who like.#would Not use a phrase like ‘he simply [x]’#they’d fumble out some ‘he was just. like. i mean you know it was like [x]’#sometimes you have to throw ‘good’ writing out the window to keep a characters voice — not that you Have to listen to me lmao#it’s not like any of us get paid for the kind of writing i’m talking about — do what you want forever#it’s just something i notice a lot
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its just....the way my brain is, if i dont see a point in something i do Not want 2 bother with it. but the issue is that working constantly has no ultimate point. im not working for a goal, im working to get food to allow this body's survival . whats the point in that. i want 2 create i want 2 have time 2 sit and draw stupid mspaint furries. i want 2 get home st 1am and not have 2 lament abt going 2 bed early cuz i need 2 get up early for the job i JUST finished . we all know how fucked up this is, and anyone who doesnt admit it is always clearly in denial . The empire is going to fall, & america has a reckoning, but its so depersonalizing 2 be a US citizin right now....
#Making it so so clear that as a USamerican i live in the lap of luxury at the cost of many people#My tax dollars directly contribute 2 worldwide genocides...coups#Almost every destabilization of any nation#And its so fucked up to know and be aware of how vile and evil this entire country is#& be a citizen of it & still just . like#Call it lazy or lack of willpower and if u rly feel that way lack of care but like#im so fucking exhausted frm working every daylight hour just 2 afford a basic cart of groceries#and 2 see whats happening & feel so immobilized by the need 2 work 2 sustain yrself & survive like#its just so hollowing.#ive tried 2 get coworkers & groups together 2 even just#sit on the steps of a manufacturer w signs and that cldnt even be arranged bc everyone is so fucking exhausted#we have 2 days of the week 2 not be grinding so its all spent recovering & leaves no room for pssion#& i know this is Exactly what They (they as is the hierarchal billionaire tyrants lobbying 4 corps) want#the guys in power need us exhausted & beaten down#its ez 2 push anything when yr life & soul is dedicated 2 profit 4 survival#What else do u have 2 care abt . just let it happen vote whatever doesnt kill u even tho u know its all fake#We all know it is . we all know our vote & our beliefs dont rly matter 2 the people who want the status quo forever#So what do we do but sit and cry and whine & make posts like this .
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Christmas gift for @madame-mongoose !!! ✨
#monnie#christmas#gift art#k’s art#digital#hdjcjenc this was gonna be just a simple post but i feel suddenly compelled now that i’m posting it#MONNIE !!! literally thank you so SO MUCH for existing#i never have the energy to make people gifts unless they are really really super special to me#sigh#i REALLY wouldn’t have been enjoying life as much as i am rn if it weren’t for you;; it’s always been a blast talking with you#whether on my bed or at my desk or in my car tryna leave the parking lot to go home; I never wanted to do stuff if it meant leaving ur convo#over time we got more stuff on our plates so it’s such a treat when we do get to hang out like before#you’re one of those people i feel like i’ve known forever on god ;; even still i wanna know more about u#you really are a treasure to me and i’ve always had this want to ensure that you’re happy and that maybe even im enough to make that happen#whatever pain you have i’d take away if i could; it’s the least i could do for you being such a brightly shining light for me ☀️#things really wouldn’t be the same without you and I met so many other wonderful people through you and as bad as i am at showing it#they are everything to me and so are you#giving you so many hugs ;; giving you a warm blanket and sugar cookies ;; I hope the rest of your days treat you well!#you deserve everything that is good because you are the best#ily /p#🫂#k rambles
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you lied to me, and ruined everything, and ruined how I approach almost any romantic feeling at all. and all you can describe it as is having fucking beef with me. and you don't even recognize your own actions. you don't even fucking remember them. you aren't phased by it at all. I agonized, had meltdowns over it. losing me, ruining me was just a regular fucking day for you.
#mine#the other day i thought. why is my hatred worth it. why am i continuing with this?#🪳#why am i continuing with something that happened so long ago. why do i CARE. and this is why. fucking indifference#no amount of fucking sorries will fix it. no amount of i love yous will fix it.#there is nothing you can do for my forgiveness other than die. <- banger post btw i need to make that#and this is just? fucking irrelevant to you? you changed the trajectory of my life forever and you can barely even remember#youre so wrapped up in your sick little romantic fantasy you dont even realize how many people hate you.#all the time i hear it. if so fucking many people hate the both of you and dont want you to be together then its not destiny!#you only stay together because youd be fucking nothing without eachother? so itd be best to just kill yourselves<3#good evening yangang how are you all today. im balls to the wall batshit insane and about to get a murder charge#also good evening to everyone except terrible pieces of shit who i hate and want dead and who im writing this about.#me when i definitely have an undiagnosed mental disorder but idk what it is for sure so i just say im insane#like definitely BPD but there is something else too i feel like this cant just be one disorder#at this point i dont care if im forever regarded as a shit person because of all this. people dont really like me anyway? except val#shoutouts to val everybody. if they are reading this hii hello bestie#well there is a select few people who like me. but not enough that CARE about me. doomy for example is keeping me going#even if its just through mundane posting like this. i cant believe im liked let alone loved#maybe only my surface level personality is desirable but the more you get to know me the more annoying i am#well they still like me despite the fact im displaying every mental illness everyday on tumblr.com so thats niceys#no person is entirely bad or good. i feel like thats me though. i have so many bad actions. but so many good actions too. two halves#two wolves inside of you and all that business. thats me#also lotto to me to choosing the most shit idiot guys to care about ever this one isnt even responding to my misery#well he never responds to anyone elses misery either. and only mine if directly asked.#hes too much of a puzzle for miserable me to figure out.#well im done being angry here u go here's the post
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🐳
growing up is like. on a wednesday evening you suddenly understand that sometimes ppl who are bright and curious and full of love for the world go through sth so painful that they withdraw forever and they never get better and they may very possibly never be as well they wish they were again. and you have a cry about it alone at your desk. and then you literally just start cooking dinner
#(not a v happy post i'm sorry!)#had a letter from one of my mum’s friends today where she told me about the adventures she went on in her 20s#and she sounds so unrecognisable to the woman i know. i’ve known her all my life#but in all that time she’s been unhappy and unwell and fragile#this 24 year old who trekked through ao/nz on her own and walked on glaciers and in rainforests? who is that#and it struck me in a weird place bc i’m going through some Thing of some Weight currently where#someone i love very much is probably never going to be ok again but we’re so far apart that there’s like#genuinely nothing at all i can do to help her in any substantial or significant way like i can’t even hold her hand or speak to her#and it’s kind of an undercurrent of life rn so i sporadically cry about it a lot for a night or so#and then i just sort of. go on being in necessary denial.#and i don’t think i understood until now that my mum is on the other side of this experience#that those friends of hers i’ve only ever known as withdrawn and perpetually nervous and unhappy#aren’t That to my mum. they’re people she was young and happy and light with in the 80s#and until sth like that started happening to me w someone i love#i didn’t think about what it must have been like for my mum to watch someone so close to her change and retreat so completely#and now i just kind of. sit with it. like i was a miserable child and young adult and then i turned happy#and sometimes it’s the other way around#and it’s very often not in your power to prevent that so instead of like#keeping that person away from hurt forever like you want to. you just make dinner and that’s all#VERY SORRY FOR WHATEVER THIS IS#has to go somewhere ig!! but before someone gets worried yes i may go to counselling for this lmao. i'm fine i'm v cared for
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hey everyone. im not here to post art right now, i just have something on my mind that i kinda wanna ramble about, which i’ll put under a read more below bc its really long lol. i know this is kinda sudden but i promise its nothing serious. stick around if you’re somehow interested in listening to my ramblings, if not then thank you for reading this anyway, and thanks for all your continuous support :)
i cant remember the reason why anymore, but a couple minutes ago i felt like going through all the blogs ive followed on here. i only follow like 276 blogs if i remember correctly, it’s not much considering how i’ve been here since 2015. i probably felt like looking through it because i was reminded of an artist i follow here and i wanted to see if they’ve updated anything, i have no clue lol.
anyways i looked through the list, and i found a lot of artists ive followed since my early days in 2015, when i first started posting art. some i still remember fondly, some i have vague memories of, and others... i just dont recognize anymore. the only thing im sure of is that they were all artists i looked up to very much, artists who have also definitely motivated me to keep drawing just so i can be as good as them someday. im confident enough to say that ive gotten close to a lot of their levels already, and i am now very comfortable with drawing in a style that is uniquely my own. i have all these artists to thank for that.
but... another thing ive also realized is, most of them arent posting anymore. some have already stopped before i myself stopped tumblr briefly in around 2019, but a lot of them stopped at that exact same year. it makes me kinda sad, i remember looking forward to these artists’ drawings often, but a lot of them just kinda dipped out of existence 3 years ago, without other social medias that i can check to make sure theyre still around. it made me think about how hellish every year has been starting from 2019, it mightve only been 3 years but it sure felt like its been a decade. all i can do right now is hope that they’re still okay, somewhere in the world, still safe and still doing whatever they love.
and on the same note, i hope every single person who is still following me, who still constantly come up to this crumbling website, maybe even look forward to me posting my art; i hope you guys are doing well too. i know there are a lot of people who were from my old 2018 dmc days (since i came back to the fandom just half a year ago and a lot of people started checking up on me again), some of you guys were probably even from my earliest 2016 undertale days; whether you followed me 6 years ago or just today, i want to thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, for always giving me kind support on the things i do. i am not joking when i said i wont be here right now if it werent for you guys. thank you so, so much.
#guess i just felt like getting sappy today.#im sorry if this makes anyone anxious; i promise i am totally okay and nothing bad is happening to me#it's just... sometimes you look back on your life to remember the things you've done that led to the life you have today#ive been doing that a lot lately. and i just wanted to talk about what ive thought about#i actually feel a lot better thinking about things like this. it reminds me of the reason why i started drawing in the first place#with how things have been lately especially with my own uni life; it gets so frustrating its very easy to forget why i liked drawing so much#but im not gonna forget about it now; even if i stop drawing someday i'll forever hold on to these memories#i probably sound like a broken record now but; genuinely; thanks for everything i really do appreciate it#allyrambles#long post#if youve read till here#through this long ass post ive been writing for over 30 minutes now#do me a favour and talk to a long time friend you have that you havent talked to in a while#yknow the ones. you were super close but then you just slowly stopped talking to each other? even though nothing bad happened?#do me a favour and just shoot them a message. a short one will do#even a little 'hey we havent talked in a while; just wanted to check up on you and make sure youre still okay' is enough#times are tough right now. it has been for the past 2 years for everyone#if you can do it; im sure it will brighten someone's day up; to know that theres someone out there who still cares#someone will appreciate the kindness#im gonna go now. this post has gotten way longer than i expected and its almost time for bed#i hope everyone has a decent day :) thanks again for reading#hopefully i dont regret this someday lol
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bad enough that i am stuck in my life but even worse when i have to work through / around the stuckness in front of people i care about / explain it / be perceived in experiencing it. UGH!!!!!!
#purrs#i live in my childhood home i share a bedroom withy sister it hasn’t been redecorated since before we were born i don’t even have a license#ive never dated or even been liked like that by someone i know except one time ive never done like 75-80% of the things ppl my age do and im#gonna show up empty handed and empty brained to everythi ng and be seen as stupid and uncaring and whatever when really im just tired and my#life is so flat rn and i don’t have the strength to pull it up by myself and give it shape again but i have to. i don’t think i have covid (#thank GOD) but i can say even without having ever gotten it and hopefully never getting it that it has ruined my life like genuinely. i mean#good things have come out of it too but i was already socially / emotionally stunted and then being locked down for a year and a half like l#literaly not leaving my house for anything but medical stuff until july 2021 was so PRPFOUBDLY damaging. i feel like someone has taken a the#motion blur tool i. photoshop and just drawn like a scribble over me so some parts of me are stretched to where they need to be and other pa#parts are stuck at like age idk 16 and i think i need to have most of the parts motion blurred to like… move forward! but i can’t make that#happen and i have to explain it and move around it and it’s so EMBARRASSING omg. girl help i am flowering on the wall i am blooming late i a#am hiding in my shell and i want to come out but i also DO NOT so i am cowering in fear forever and never standing up for myself or standing#up at all to be honest!! lol 😸👍#anyways this post is brought to you by how INSANELY much i do not want to reply to a particular email in my inbox or spend my time tonight#[redacted] on express when i am already so exhausted. and if that makes me a bad person then so be it i guess i am one#* i don’t even have a LEARNERS PERMIT let alone a license. lawl <3
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this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!
#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about#i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep.#im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before?#you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess#i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me.#today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app#i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no#i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up#or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out.#you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have.#these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top#of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me#and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then#its the capability to hate. for once in my life.#i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung.#because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do#everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be#bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning#im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely#cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you#because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell.#in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it#in other words ill be fine#em speaks#tw vent ish#sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3
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terra kingdomhearts voted most likely to be suffering from "guy in his early twenties" syndrome
#teaposts#was just thinking how nomura said he's about 20 but i hc his age in bbs to be 22#tbh it was initially a spiteful thing bc people were like 'if it's an approximation i can make him younger for xyz ship'#like fuck you we have like one (1) character in his early 20s and you want to take him away so i'm making him even older#but then i was 22. (well. ages 20-present.) and suddenly terra's story resonated with me so much more#just. trying desperately to be kind and do the right thing and yet everything in your life is a disaster#and you're sad and angry and you never meant for any of this to happen but you can never seem to truly fix it either#you think your life was more put together at 18 than it is now. (you know who's ~18? aqua.)#...i was just trying to make a joke with this post but that got heavy real fast ahahaha <- guy in his early 20s#anyways terra kingdomhearts i stan you forever
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sensory shnizz is crazy cuz someone could be screenshotting something (pushing two terribly noisy buttons on their phone) and all of a sudden i want to bite their head off
#yes this is happening irl#welp. time for the uber loud music again as per usual#why are sounds So Aggravating To Experience Im Actually Going Insane I Want To Slaug#i am now using this as an excuse to ventWHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK HORROR HORRID TERRIBLE AGONIZING BRAIN EXPL#SCREAMING I Q JFJ#XC ZBZBD XBZBX C X D D D D XBXBXBX X X X Z ZZT YSTCYCY ZYCB T XBFTCY#IM GOING TO KILL X Z XC XC X X X X C C C C C Z Z Z#not reallay. i woold nevar#but sumtims iits annoiang and than i thinck abaot it#dont mischaracterize me>_<#idont want to brush my teeth or change i jdt want to sleeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppp forever but noooooo then i have to wake up and manually br#athe and blink and use my muscles to consume water and sustemance URFFHwhich is such an inconvenience like#whyyyy havent we evolved to make our own food AfuFICK THIS SHIT!!PHOTOSYNTHES#i woul be happier as an isoppd.MAKE ME ONE NEOW OR ELSE THERE EILL BE CONSEQUENCDS#good GOD if i was a metamorph life would be so much easier 🙏good golly it would solve all of my problems i would literally live longer#also ummm!!!!!!!!!!!!!i clukd look in the mirror and not be sadge#as a metamorph if you can control anytjing abt you youcoulf also rearrange shit in your brain right#somehowthat leads me to making more pleasant chemicals so in a way i guess im saying aaZHAPPY YAYYYY HAPPY HALPY HAAPYY#i will fall sleep forgetting i posted this and in the morning j am gonna be so disappointed in myself LMFO#listen😭😭
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running in circles bc i can't go look at all the fanart and fanfic yet because i have a whole second season to watch
#marzi speaks#grrgrgrgrgrrbgrggbb. GRGEGERRGGRRGBG#it's just so difficultttt. bc they are. everything i like in a pairing#plus i wanna see how the story continues!!#so refreshing to see a show have a good story AND a queer love story#anyways. they're like designed in a lab for me to like them#rivals/enemies to lovers. the slowest slow burn of all time#GARBAGE communication. Banter.#goddddd. god they're perfect#i'm already thinking abt things so hard#'you move too fast for me' is going to be in my brain forever and ever. sir you met 6000 years ago and you won't let him drive you somewher#AAAUGH#ALSO. pollution was hot and i'd like to see more of them. not how they looked in my head reading the book but. i enjoy looking at them#i don't make the rules. they can have a little microplastic. as a treat#ANYWAYS. i SEE them in anguish in the fandom and i want in so baddddd#but i must wait. to see the anguish happen. THEN i can look at the postes#life is very difficult for me. this is the worst torment anyone can go through. i will not survive the winter#(<- can literally just watch it tomorrow)
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with all due respect WHAT is going on with the swifties
okay so sincere answer: a lot of people who have spent YEARS convincing themselves that Taylor Swift is a closeted queer woman who's been sending coded messages through her lyrics, Instagram posts, imagery in her concerts, and pretty much everything else. this *is* conspiracy thought, complete with a thought terminating cliche: when pressed, Gaylors fall back on the insistence that Taylor CAN'T come out. their offered reasons seldom make much sense or hold up to scrutiny, but as long as they've been able to hold onto the refrain that Swift simply can't come out, it's possible to maintain the belief that she is signaling queerness but may never be able to confirm it. every boyfriend can be excused as a beard, every denial that she's dating a female friend can be understood as a lie, every insta post can be analyzed qanon-style for clues that only you and your in-group understand.
Gaylors have, obviously, been certain that these clues were being deliberately planted and thus that Swift was encouraging them and WANTED to be understood as queer in some kind of transparent closet situation; the fact that Swift has embraced the aesthetics of allyship with things like her unbelievably tacky video for You Need to Calm Down has been read as approval. receiving even a very mild admonishment - in this case, Swift expressing disappointment that rabid speculation about her romantic life didn't end when she decided to prioritize friendships with other women over dating men - is thus seen as a betrayal, as Swift breaking a contract that, in reality, she never knew about or agrees to. the ensuing social media tantrums we're seeing are what happens when someone has dedicated considerable time and energy to justifying a conspiracy, including building significant social networks around it, only to have that belief challenged by a source that they never thought would contradict them even a little.
in fairness I also never thought she'd do it; I really thought she'd play both sides and keep collecting that Gaylor money forever.
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I wanna post about my recovery + ramble in tags at the same time but I'm not motivated enough to come up with a mediocre yandere post rn , so just know that my life is going?? Somewhat good in terms of romance
#mine#💿#i can only ramble in tags. posts feel too official im shy</3 i feel like tags are less likely to show up on search engines as well...#just forever paranoid about the blog being discovered you know how it goes. personal stuff (proceeds to post it online)#in the general scheme of things im doing alright. tho im currently obsessed with a game instead of a man so idk if that counts#feels like im just waiting for an important event to happen. like ill have a great life changing thing but rn im just in limbo. waiting!#i dont mind it because i take joy in the small things in my day to day life but i feel like i should be doing bigger things. doing more#hell. BEING more. theres lots of cookie cutter paths i could take but none of them fit the mould im making yk. its boring.#on one hand im proud of myself for being able to stay focused on my interests instead of wasting time on a guy who doesnt care abt me#like i still am doing that a Little Bit but its not as detrimental to my daily life as it used to be. like its fine now#on the topic of.. him. we dont really talk much but i feel theres sort of a weird air between us now and he could tell i was in the yanzone#im not too broken up about it because i repeatedly told myself this would happen n i knew it would but everythings okay as it is rn#i still do admire him but not as intensely. the moment he stops hinting at even the possibility he could be interested my attention drops#i want to be everything but at the same time i want to be nothing. i want to be god and the earth and the sun and death and disease.#im working up to being perfect but at the same time i know no such thing exists so meanwhile im just. working up. to SOMETHING#i want everyday of my life to be an adventure. at the same time im much too tired for that. guess thats why i stick with emotional trifles#im not in love with him or anything. its the same as everyone else. like various dials in a lab that i have to keep below 50#or else bad things will happen. like a scientist with anxiety. its like i be insane for a little while and the dial goes down#but any others could easily skyrocket because i find little things i adore about one person and latch onto them!!! like art#i feel im the most socially acptble level of yandere out of them all rn. in insanity specifically tho. in othr aspects im still weird#the power of autism is condemning me from learning proper social skills but by god i am TRYING my hardest n learning new things#i sit around waiting but atleast im building skills while doing it. part of what life is about i guess!#you come for the yandere content and then i just post philosophical rants. a tragedy most awful to those who can relate#but im okay with it as long as these strange lengthy rambles help me recover better!! no problem at all. one day i will be better#tl;dr i havent found love yet but im not miserable either. trying to improve myself through numerous mental quarrels n experience
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