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#I truly think he wanted to be with justin

hwaslayer · 29 days

Text

home (khj) | one shot.

—summary: when your home no longer feels like home.

—pairing: kim hongjoong x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) established relationship au | fluff, smut, heavy angst

—word count: 24k

—content/warnings: *open-ended, sad ending* cussing/mature language, very platonic cuddling and biting btwn oc and bff lol, alcohol consumption, marijuana use, intoxication, house party scenes, club scenes, making out, protected/unprotected sex, hongjoong’s pull out game on 100, marking/hickeys, thumb sucking, slight choking, breast play, clit play, fingering, oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasms, praising, car sex, *toxic relationship themes (hints of infidelity, gaslighting/manipulation, jealousy, anxiety, bad temper, multiple heartbreaks, crying, yelling/loud arguing, friends getting involved during fights) - please proceed with caution*

—on rotation: change - arin ray & kehlani ・burn - usher ・snooze (acoustic vers) - sza & justin bieber ・ i wish i hated you - ariana grande

Home.

When you think of the word home, plenty of things come to mind: your family, fun times in the backyard with the grill going, home-cooked meals, the smell of the fresh tree and peppermint during Christmas time;

Hongjoong.

It’s been a little over 2 years since Hongjoong has made a home in your heart and continues to— him being your other half and knowing you like the back of his hand. Things started off so beautifully, blossoming into the greatest love you’ve ever known. You remember the day you met him like it was yesterday, remembering every single detail down to the weather, where you were at, how you were feeling at that exact moment;

The excitement, the infatuation, the thrill, the chase.

As beautifully as those moments blossomed, there were other moments that came crashing down, too.

So when you think of the word home, plenty of other things come to mind: loud arguments and hurtful words, doors being slammed, glass hitting the wall, crying till the point your chest hurts;

Hongjoong.

—LATE JUNIOR YEAR IN COLLEGE

“Dude!” Wooyoung runs over to your circle of friends, pushing through the crowd that’s currently in Changbin’s living room. “Cops are outside, we gotta go!”

“What do you mean we gotta go, Woo? We took a fucking uber—”

“Shut it down! Now!” You hear the cops at Changbin’s door, urging for the party to be shut down immediately due to multiple complaints from neighbors for being too loud and disturbing the peace. Quite frankly, it was past 1am and Changbin still had his dj playing music. On top of that, people were outside constantly yelling during rounds of beer pong and being a mess, even down on the sidewalk.

You couldn’t say you were surprised.

However, you are surprised with how fast Wooyoung is booking it. You don’t even know where your other friends are at, or where he’s even going.

“Jung Wooyoung, what the fuck! Where are we going?” You continue to run past him, barely able to catch up especially while drunk.

“This way!” He cuts through the backyard, down the alley and towards a random car you truly don’t recognize.

“Whose car is that?! Wooyoung!” You call for him, but he hops in anyway, dragging you along with him. Everything happens way too fast, you don’t even realize you’re smushed in the backseat of a mini SUV, sitting on someone’s lap. Everyone in the car is loud, the music is loud, the driver is no other than Jeong Yunho—

“Yunho?” You furrow your brows as you peek over the passenger’s seat, quickly glancing down at the unfamiliar individual sitting there. “When did you drive to the party?! Whose car is this?!” You look over to see another unfamiliar individual plopped in the left seat, with Wooyoung in the middle— your friend Ara on said unfamiliar’s lap.

“I told you at lunch that I was driving and asked if you two needed a ride. It’s my cousin’s.” He laughs. “He’s out of town and left the car with us. Told me I could use it if I wanted to. Just make sure no one fucking yacks or else I’m tossing you out. No question.”

“You did not!” You reply to the part where he claims he told you. He probably did, but you can’t remember for the life of you.

“Sure did. You were too busy arguing or whatever with Bin.” Hm, sounds about right, you think. Yunho looks at the rearview mirror to meet your eyes before shifting back to the road. “By the way, this is Mingi. That’s San. And dude you're sitting on is—.”

“Hongjoong.” You look behind you and see Hongjoong giving you a small smile just as he says his name. His hands are awkwardly at his sides, rosy tint coloring the surface of his cheeks as he tries to keep still as much as possible.

“I’m.. so sorry about all of this.” You tell him as you hang onto the headrest in front of you, apologizing to Mingi when your fingers accidentally tug on a hair strand.

“All good.” Hongjoong chuckles, a little unsure of what to do with himself. He’s only met you about a couple of minutes ago, and you’re already on his lap. How sway?

“I saw Yunho while I was trying to find an easy way out and he called for me to follow him, so..” Wooyoung says, but your eyes quickly divert to one of your friends who had been gone the entire night.

“Ara, where have you even been all night?” You tap her arm.

“Around.” She giggles, enjoying herself on San’s lap. They continue to talk amongst each other, and it’s clear where she’s been all night. Welp, as long as she’s happy, and as long as you all are out of trouble’s way.

“Shit, sorry.” Yunho says, abruptly braking.

“Jesus fucking christ, Jeong Yunho.” You put your hand out to stop yourself from crashing into the headrest, another pair of arms suddenly wrapping around your waist to keep you steady.

“Woah there. You good?” Hongjoong still has his arms wrapped around your waist, and you can’t help but shyly nod. You are too drunk for this.

“I wasn’t gonna make it! Sorry!” He points at the yellow light.

“You would’ve made it.” Mingi laughs.

“What would you know, you’re high as shit.” Yunho sighs. “Never being DD again with my cousin’s car. For real. I got somebody high in the front seat and 5 people in the back seat.” He looks around while he patiently waits for the light to turn. “Good thing it’s kinda dead out here.” Yunho quickly turns. “Anywhere we can hang out for a bit?”

“You can go to mine, my roommate is gone for the weekend.”

“You sure?” You nod.

“Yeah. Thanks for driving and letting us squish in here.” You give Yunho a small smile. “We can order some food when we get to my place.”

“Sick.” Yunho presses on the gas, driving at a safe speed down to your apartment. You learn that San, Mingi and Hongjoong go to the neighboring university, but they’ve known Yunho since middle school. For a minute, you forget you’re sitting on Hongjoong’s lap with how comfortable you’ve gotten, conversing with your friends as Yunho continues to drive to the apartment. And Hongjoong doesn’t mind either; hell, he’s forgotten about the entire situation, his hands resting on your thighs. If anything, he’s determined it could help in case Yunho decides to do a hard-brake again. You don’t seem to be uncomfortable and that’s all that matters.

So, all is well and Yunho brings everyone to the apartment in one piece. You immediately hop off of Hongjoong’s lap and quickly thank him for tonight before taking the lead with Wooyoung to your apartment door. Everyone else trails behind at their own speed, with Hongjoong digging his hands into his pockets while he observes you and Wooyoung loudly laughing at your door. You’ve got your arm linked with his as you both crack jokes and playfully bicker. At one point, Wooyoung bites your shoulder, causing you to yelp in pain and push him off. It’s an interesting relationship, he thinks. He’s never seen people be so close and comfortable, but he supposes it’s nice that you two are able to be that way.

“Get comfortable!” You say as everyone finally makes their way inside, kicking their shoes off to the side. “Water is in the fridge, along with other drinks. Feel free to grab anything.”

“Should we order some pizza and chicken?” Yunho is already scrolling through his phone. “That sounds bomb right now.”

“Yeah, that does. Order it and let us know how much we should chip in.” Wooyoung plops onto the floor, grabbing your remote off of the coffee table. “Dude, it’s still pretty early.”

“This is early to you?”

“The night is very much still young, my dear.” He says, pinching your cheeks. You smack his hand away before yawning into your own hands, excusing yourself to the bathroom to change and get comfy while everyone gets situated around the living room. Wooyoung throws on a random scary movie for some source of entertainment, some source of background noise. You quickly wash up and change into a matching hoodie and sweats set, startling yourself when you damn near run into Hongjoong lingering in your hallway. “Oh shit, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” He chuckles. “I don’t mean to seem like a creep, but I was just looking for your bathroom.. but.. I see you just came out of it, so..” He scratches at his temple and you giggle.

“I’m all done.” Hongjoong nods and brushes past, hurriedly making his way to the toilet to break the seal. Once he’s felt relief, he takes a minute to wash his hands and splash a bit of cold water to his face. He’s still feeling the alcohol, bits of the edible, too. But, he’s definitely not as crossed as earlier in the night. Just as he’s patting his face dry, he takes note of all your skincare laying around; that cute pink headband with a huge strawberry on it, various face sheet masks arranged neatly, random rings and other trinkets spread across the open space. Otherwise, both you and your roommate seem to be really organized and neat.

“Oh, uh, thanks.” He says when he catches you in your room. “For letting me borrow the bathroom.” You chuckle, Hongjoong’s eyes roaming around as he peeks in.

“You can come in, you know? My room isn’t entirely off limits.”

“I don’t want to intrude.” He gives you a small smile. “You do have a cozy room, though.”

“Thanks. I try.” You let out a tiny giggle, tossing your clothes into the hamper as he steps inside and slowly eyes the prints and photos organized beautifully along the off-white wall.

“These are nice. Do you order them from somewhere in particular?”

“No. I just look online and buy whatever looks good.” You stand next to him.

“But.. these photos. Did you take them?” He points at the scenic photos you took of and around Hanauma Bay during a family trip to Oahu years ago.

“Yeah.” You tilt your head to the side. “Wow, I miss Oahu. I think it’s time to tell my family we need to do something and go back.” He chuckles.

“They’re beautiful.” You look at him and give him a tiny smile. “Everything about them. The angles. Crisp edges.” He says softly, mainly to himself, but it’s still loud enough for you to hear.

“Thanks. Are you into photography or something?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I try to take my own pictures, too. Just like holding onto memories that way.”

“I agree.” He smiles at you before glancing at the rest of your room. Everything about your room is also neat, organized and incredibly in sync— if that makes sense. Everything follows a certain theme, a certain color tone. Whites, creams, soft pastels. His eyes just gloss over the room in such a smooth way, he’s positive you love being in here.

“Do you spend a lot of time in your room?”

“How can you tell?”

“The way you decorated it. You put a lot of thought into it. It’s really nice. I meant it when I said it looked cozy.”

“You’re just throwing compliments left and right. What did I do to deserve it?” You laugh, and it Hongjoong finds his smile growing bigger.

“I’m just being honest.”

“Well, thank you, Hongjoong. I appreciate it.”

“Are you two hooking up or something? The food is here!” Yunho is heard at the end of the hallway, careful to not walk into something he doesn’t wanna walk into.

“Yunho, why the fuck would I hook up with someone with the door wide open?” You ask as you lead the way out of the room, Hongjoong following behind and shutting your room door close.

“I don’t know, you’re drunk.”

“I’m pretty sober now after everything that’s happened.” Wooyoung is at the coffee table, already spreading out the pizza boxes next to the bucket of chicken.

“So, you weren’t making out in there?” You smack Wooyoung upside the head before plopping down next to him. Hongjoong lets out a small laugh, taking a seat at the end of the coffee table while Mingi does the same on the opposite end. Ara and San are still flirting a storm on your couch, while Yunho takes a seat on Wooyoung’s free side.

“Do you want me to be?”

“I’m sure Hongjoong would be down, you were already pressed up on his lap earlier.” He whispers right into your ear.

“Oh my god. What’s wrong with you?” You pinch him on the thigh, making him yelp in response.

“I’m just saying you deserve all the fun, baby. Jesus. Just go for it next time.” He continues to tease. “Anyway, here. Let’s eat up.”

“What’s playing on the TV right now?” Yunho asks, already gobbling down a slice.

“Who fucking knows, but it’s kinda funny.” Wooyoung laughs at the screen. For the rest of the night, everyone is eating to their heart’s content and actually watching whatever movie happens to be playing on the TV. You stand for a moment to grab some water from the kitchen, unaware that Hongjoong had followed you over to grab another bottle of his own.

“Mind if I grab one, too?”

“Here.” You hand him the bottle, cocking a brow up when Hongjoong hasn’t stopped staring at you.

“Um.” He chuckles and points to your cheek. “May I? You.. there’s sauce.” You giggle.

“Oh shit, wow. That’s embarrassing.” He wets a paper towel before gently dabbing at your cheek, eyes focused on getting the sauce off of your skin. His face is merely inches away, hand gently holding your chin up towards the light.

“There.” He says softly. Except, Hongjoong doesn’t release his grip from your chin right away, eyes now glazing over your features. You’re really, really pretty, and something about you is enticing to him; even if you two have barely known each other for the night, you are enticing and he is curious about you.

“Thank you, Hongjoong.” You say ever so sweetly and it confirms the thoughts swirling in his head— intoxicated or not.

“You’re welcome.” His thumb grazes over your cheek for one last quality control check before he steps back. “Wanna catch the rest of the movie?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Truth be told, Hongjoong isn’t even sure how the whole night unfolded this way. He wasn’t even planning on going out, but leave it to Mingi, San and Yunho to convince him until the very end. He had noticed you ever since the party, eyes glancing around the living room over the edge of his cup while he people-watched, took in his surroundings. What caught his eye the most was how bubbly and energetic you were around everyone, always being the life of the party and genuinely enjoying yourself. You’d loudly laugh and joke, smile from ear to ear while dancing around with a bag of chips in your hand. You didn’t have to do much to be that way, and Hongjoong could tell you were only being yourself. He liked that. He liked seeing you happy, he liked seeing you be you.

So colorful, vibrant.

But, truthfully, he was afraid to make a move. Mainly afraid, but he also knows what kinda wreck he’s been lately. Just lots of shit, lots of baggage— he’s not sure what he’s really ready for or if he’s ready for anything. The thoughts alone are enough to keep him still in his place, pushing certain desires and wants to the back of his mind to try and focus on fixing his shit first.

He can be selfish sometimes, though. It is beautifully dangerous for Hongjoong. Beautiful because it works, dangerous because it works.

So at the end of the night, after Hongjoong watches you giggle away to the stupid movie on the TV, after watching you happily gobble away at the pizza and chicken, after your hands grazed over his a few times; he is going to be selfish.

That would change the trajectory of everything for him, for you.

Ever since that night, Hongjoong and his friends would invite you and your friends to hang out at their apartments and vice versa— engaging in casual drinking over board games and more movies. Every hangout led to you and Hongjoong getting closer and closer, teetering into new territory quicker than you both imagined.

“Hey.” Hongjoong says, stepping out onto his balcony where he finds you getting some fresh air. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here?” He jokingly teases, making you roll your eyes even though you feel the heat rising to your cheeks.

“Ew, don’t ever.” He laughs, swinging an arm around your shoulders.

“Why are you smiling like that then?”

“Not because of you.” You tease.

“I don’t see anyone else out here.” He looks down at you. “Seriously, what’s up? You okay?”

“Just wanted to get some air.”

“Wanna go for a walk with me, or do you wanna stay here?”

“Can we stay here? I was looking up at the stars.” You look up. “They’re so bright tonight, Joong. I feel like I haven’t seen them like this in forever.”

“Hm.” He hums, eyes glued onto your side profile. You’re not even doing anything in particular, but this moment right here makes Hongjoong want to pull you close.

Kiss you.

Hold your hand.

“Are you looking?” You look at him with a brow cocked up and he laughs.

“Honestly, nah. I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m just..” He pauses, brushing the hair away from your face. “Let me take you out on a date.”

“You— wait, what?”

“Let me take you out on a date.” He chuckles, pressing his lips against the side of your head. “Please?” Hongjoong had been a bit more affectionate with you as time went on, and you welcomed it because whatever he was feeling, you surely were feeling too. Unspoken feelings and little acts of affection kept you going, and you thrived on it, if you were being honest. You loved the cute ‘lil pinches on your side, the ‘lil moments where he’d grab your hand and let it linger for awhile, the ‘lil moments you’d catch him staring at you from across the room, the ‘lil texts that showed you were on his mind in one way or another. It was the subtle chase, and you loved it.

“A date, hm?”

“I’m serious.” He clicks his teeth in defeat, making you giggle.

“Alright, yeah. Take me out on a date, Hongjoong.” He smiles.

“Yeah? It’ll be fun.”

“Where are you planning on taking me?”

“Why would I tell you that, pretty?” He boops the tip of your nose. “I promise. I got you.”

And to that end, he did. He fulfilled his promise, and he did have you. He took you to a basketball game, one that you had been dying to catch for months, but never had the time to do so. He picked you up that morning and drove to the arena 45 minutes away from campus. It wasn’t like any other date you’ve been on, no. But, it was a date you enjoyed because you had fun and you were comfortable enough to be yourself around him already. You screamed together, you yelled at the refs together, you cheered on the team together. During the game, he’d hold your hand or throw an arm over your shoulder before giving you a quick peck on the cheek or temple. You don’t know what it is, but you trusted him. A lot. Quickly, too.

After the game, he took you out for dinner at a casual restaurant nearby, asking you to order whatever you wanted and that he’d cover everything, as long as you were happy. The two of you talked about everything and anything about life, and you felt like Hongjoong understood you just as you did with him. You knew a bit about his family after all the kick-its and hangouts your friends had. You knew he had an older brother he looked up to and adored, you knew he loved his parents more than anything. You knew he loved his senior dog named Momo, and you knew he cherished his childhood home, his friends— near and far. He knew you also had a good relationship with your family, and he knew the little things about you that made you.. you. It was an equal situation of give and take; not one taking more or less than the other.

Sooner or later, more dates occurred, the affection and PDA progressed to the point that everyone automatically paired you two together. Wherever he was, they’d figured they’d find you there and vice versa. It wasn’t until the date at the baseball game a month later when he made things official with you. Hongjoong knew all the right things to do, all the right things to say. It almost felt unreal that you had him by your side— a stranger whose lap you sat on just to get away from the cops, a stranger you knew nothing about and had no intentions of getting close to.

That stranger became everything to you in such a short amount of time, but you didn’t want it any other way. It felt good being with Hongjoong, and it felt like pure bliss being with him. You were certain you had finally reached cloud nine, and you didn’t think you’d ever come down from it.

“Hello?” You pick up the phone just as you begin to walk to the parking lot after your last class; books tucked against your chest, bag strap slung on your shoulder.

“Hey baby, did you just get out of class?”

“Mhm. Finally! I’m so tired today.”

“Aw, I’m sorry. You don’t have anything else going on tonight, do you?”

“No, but I have homework to finish and I definitely have to study for our next test. What about you? How was school today?”

“Same old. Can’t complain. I just have some things to finish tonight, too.” You hear rustling in the background, followed by his door shutting.

“Did you just get home?”

“Yeah. I went to the gym really quickly.” He lets out a sigh. “I miss you.”

“Aw, I miss you, too. You’ll see me tomorrow, though.”

“I know but.. it feels like a long time from now.” You step into your car and let out a breathy giggle. “Do you wanna just stay over tonight?” You pause, hearing the question come from him. You’ve hung out at Hongjoong’s apartment more times than you can count, but you’ve never stayed the night since Hongjoong was always so careful about being too quick or pressuring you into doing something you weren’t ready for. It’s not that you weren’t ready, and you definitely thought about it more recently. But, you were also shy because it felt like a huge step for you and Hongjoong’s relationship. Though, you knew he’d enjoy it just as much as you would. You just had to overcome all of your overthinking and get over your assumptions, you think.

“Joong, I have to study tonight.”

“Study at mine. I won’t bug you.” He laughs. “I have some homework I gotta get through, too.” Silence. “Baby, no pressure but I really just miss you.”

“Joongie.” You almost whine. You miss him, too. You really, really do. “Okay, yeah.”

“Really?” He says excitedly.

“Mhm.” You laugh. “I just need to go home, shower and pack a few things.”

“Mmkay. Let me know when you’re ready.”

“Okay.”

“See you soon, pretty girl.” You hang up the call, eyeing the phone before shaking your head and driving home. Not gonna lie, you were extra nervous. You were excited to finally spend the night with him, but you were nervous. You were nervous thinking about what the night would bring. What could it possibly bring? Were you two really gonna study and just go to sleep? Would Hongjoong expect things from you? Hongjoong would kiss you, slowly make out with you and touch you in certain places, but never expected more from it— again, mainly because he was afraid to unintentionally pressure you in any way.

Welp.

You quickly brush your thoughts away and hop in the shower before throwing on a lazy outfit consisting of an oversized sweater and biker shorts. You pack up some things, telling your roommate you’ll be back tomorrow. She teases you a few times about finally sleeping over, yelling from her room that she’ll be excited to hear details if you actually do come back the following day.

When Hongjoong comes, it’s about 15 minutes after you finish packing. He tells you he’s parked near the curb out front, slipping into your shoes and rushing out the front door to greet him. He’s in a hoodie and sweats, hood up on his head while he scrolls through his phone waiting for your arrival.

“Hi.” You happily say, hopping into the passenger’s seat after dropping your bags into the trunk.

“Hey.” He beams at you, leaning over for a kiss. “Ready?” You nod, buckling in your seatbelt. Hongjoong stops by the nearest McDonalds to grab some greasy fast food for you two to indulge in while you both study away.

The apartment is quiet tonight, with San being out and Mingi studying away in his room. The both of you make a beeline to his room, Hongjoong hauling your bags while you take charge of carrying the food in. You place the bag down on the desk, carefully setting the food onto the surface. You let out a squeal when you feel his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in between his legs when he settles onto the edge of his bed.

“I missed you. I’m glad you’re staying tonight.” His hands are at your hips, gently squeezing before caressing your bare skin.

“I missed you, too.” You cup his cheeks and give him a kiss on the lips.

“Let’s eat first?” He chases after your lips for another quick kiss. “You’ll have energy to study.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You give him a tiny, toothless smile. You and Hongjoong talk about your day in more detail while eating, laughing and teasing each other before settling down for the rest of the evening. He offers you a shirt to change into so you can be more comfortable, and you take it; slipping into it with ease before plopping back onto his bed with your books in hand. You tuck one leg in, while the other is propped out, with Hongjoong laying on his stomach next to you. He plants random kisses along your leg from time to time, throwing an arm over to hold onto it while he continues to work through his homework.

Surprisingly, you do finish everything.

“Babe.” You call for him as you shut your books close about two hours later, Hongjoong now folding some clothes and putting them away in his closet.

“Mhm?”

“I’m done.” You smile, packing your things into your backpack.

“Nice. See, I told you I wouldn’t bug you.” You laugh, making grabby-hands at Hongjoong.

“Are you almost done, though?”

“I am. Just a few more, then we can cuddle for the rest of the night. Sound good?” You nod.

“I’m gonna get ready for bed.” You hop off and grab your toiletries, throwing on a random pair of Hongjoong’s extra sweats before waddling to the bathroom. You take your time brushing your teeth, washing your face and getting cozy for the night before heading back into Hongjoong’s room. He’s back on the edge of his bed, this time, sorting through Netflix to find something to watch. You carefully slip under his sheets, texting away with Ara and Wooyoung until Hongjoong shuts off his lights and slips in next to you.

The one thing you’ve learned from Hongjoong is that he always gives you his full attention. He never scrolls through his phone for long if you’re with him, doesn’t let other shit occupy his attention. It’s you, and it’s always about you.

So, you set your phone aside and let him pull you into his arms, fixing the pillows so you could comfortably lay on his chest while he lays back against the headboard.

“You okay, baby? Comfortable?” He asks softly. You nod and he gives you a sweet, feathery kiss on the top of your head before starting the movie. There’s silence that falls between you two when the movie begins, but it’s comfortable. It’s sweet, it’s comfortable, it’s peace. Hongjoong gently runs his hand up and down your arm, tracing faint shapes on the surface as a small, reassuring way of saying he loves taking care of you— loves keeping you safe, warm.

Eventually, the movie hits the halfway mark, and you’re kinda over it. You’re over it because all you wanna do is kiss Joong and lazily make out with him until you can’t anymore. You just want him, all of him, and you don’t really wanna wait for the next opportunity to come around when you can have him here, right now. In this bed.

“Babe.” You call for him softly as you rest your chin on his chest and look up at him.

“Hm?” He hums, eyes still glued to the TV.

“Pay attention to me.” You pout, making him shift his attention from the screen down to you.

“I am.” He laughs a bit, hand gently massaging at your scalp. “What can I do for you, baby girl?”

“Just want a kiss.”

“Mm. I’ll be more than happy to give you that.” He smiles. “C’mere.” He adjusts once more while you rise and bring yourself closer, lips locking onto his the moment you are close enough to do so. Even after you pull away, you repeatedly kiss him— Hongjoong squeezing your side in between kisses as a way to encourage you to keep going.

And you do.

The kiss deepens and the movie is now a long-gone thought in the background; simply filling noise, filling space. He lets out a soft sigh when you tug back on his bottom lip and suck onto it, following up with another kiss to keep the intensity alive. Your tongues are fighting for dominance, giving Hongjoong leverage to lay you down onto the mattress while he hovers over your body.

His lips trail down your jaw, down to your neck. He gently nips and sucks at the surface, leaving marks along the way to show off who you truly belong to in this crazy, fucked up world. You are his, and his only.

“Wanna take care of you, baby. Can I?” He pauses as his hand slowly travels underneath your shirt and up your side, thumb caressing right under your bra line. You simply nod, feeling his hand travel to the back of your bra to unhook it in one quick move. You help by tugging your straps down and tossing the bra off to the side, Joong’s hand now coming up to cup your breast— letting out a shaking breath when he toys with your perked nipples.

“Joong.” You whimper. He gives you a look before he pulls your shirt upward, tongue carefully swirling around a bud before repeating the same on the other. He watches as your back slightly arches in response, goosebumps etched on your chest, arms. He plants chaste kisses down your stomach, trailing down to your clothed core.

“Is it okay if I keep going?” He whispers, fingers toying with the band of your cute red panties.

“Please.” You respond, arousal overflowing in the pit of your gut. He hooks his finger onto your panties and slides them off, biting onto his bottom lip when he finally has you like this under his hold. To be honest, you’ve never really had fulfilling sexual experiences in your previous relationship. The sex was good, but it wasn’t great, nor was it memorable. Your ex had a tendency to fuck for one purpose only, and that was to get himself off. He’d never go down on you, but he’d finger you as part of the foreplay. He’d keep it to missionary, never really down to explore other positions or find something that’ll spice up shit in the bedroom. But you were young, so you never really complained. You truthfully thought that was how sexual experiences worked— who were you to fight against that if you didn’t really have anything else to work off of or compare it to?

The other thing about Hongjoong is that he is keen on showing you differently, satisfying and pleasing you to the end. Because it’s you, and it’s always about you.

His thumb presses against your clit, earning a small gasp from you. He smiles at how sensitive you are, damn near begging him to touch you in all the right places, fuck you ‘till you can’t walk. And he will, but he wants to explore you first; really explore you and take you in.

“You’re so beautiful.” His eyes are glued onto you, slipping in two digits inside of you. “So wet.” He curls his fingers just right, pumping them at a perfect rhythm.

“Oh— Joongie.” You let out, toes curling at the end of the bed, hands gripping the sheets when he lowers himself back down in between your thighs; pressing sweet kisses to the inner parts before coming down to your pussy. Everything feels so slow, yet so intimate and special, even when Hongjoong finally latches on and laps away at your clit while his digits continue to pump into you. You’re moaning a little louder now, but he only hopes the TV is loud enough to muffle the noises because he truly could care less about shushing you and trying to keep it down for his roommates.

Oops.

So as to say that you’ve never had memorable sexual experiences with your past, you’ve also never really felt what a real, raw orgasm felt like. And when the first one hits you, it feels like a certain high where all you hear are fireworks exploding. You tremble in his grip and Joong soothes you by kissing you all over, praising you for doing so well, whispering that he’d continue to take care of you. He digs for a condom in his nightstand, sheets draped over his body when he sits back to roll the condom down on his length. Your eyes can’t help fix on it, his tip red and angry— ready to feel you, make you feel good but equally ruin you in the best possible ways.

He eases himself in, lips grazing over yours as he locks eyes with you. The both of you let out soft moans while adjusting to the feeling, Joong keeping a slow pace until you’re more comfortable.

“Keep going.” You manage to whisper against him, enjoying the feeling of being full of him. He picks up his pace, rocking his hips at a steadier pace that has him muttering curse words to himself, your nails digging into his back while your moans get a little louder.

“Baby.” He chuckles. “Fuck— you sound so sexy, but—” He pants a bit, furrowing his brows as he forces himself to hold on a little bit longer. “Mingi.”

“I can’t.” You whine. “Feels too good.” He lets out another shaky breath hearing that slip from your lips, his ego climbing just a bit knowing he can make you tremble under his grip, knowing he has you wrapped around his finger like this.

“So good.” He responds. “So good for me, princess. You’re so, so good.” He praises you, nibbling on your earlobe when his hips snap at a messier, rougher pace. He sucks on your neck more, darkening the reddish blobs littering across the column. You start to move your hips to match his movements, earning a deep groan from Hongjoong. “Ohhhfuck, Y/N. I won’t last.” He dips his thumb down to your clit, wanting to push you over the edge so, so badly. “Can you come for me again, baby? Hm?”

“Hongjoong.” You repeatedly moan his name like a mantra, feeling the coil in your stomach threatening to snap any second now.

“Mhm, that’s it. Come all over me. Give it to me.” He coaxes you. Suddenly, your orgasm washes over and makes your bones feel like jelly; everything sounds and feels like white noise even when Hongjoong snaps his hips roughly, chasing his high until he spills into the condom.

“Holy fuck.” You manage to let out as you try to regulate your breathing— eyes glossy, lips swollen, hair a mess, hickeys covering your neck. It’s a beautiful fucking sight to Hongjoong, and god, does he love seeing you underneath him like this.

“God, you’re perfect.” He kisses you on the lips, carefully removing himself from inside of you. He steps out of the bed and tosses the condom into the trash, slipping back into his sweats to grab the wipes from the bathroom. “You’re so pretty.” He laughs, watching as you lie there, letting him clean you up and take care of you.

“This is pretty to you?”

“Incredibly.” He smiles. “Gonna grab us some water.” He turns to the TV. “Fuck the movie, I guess?” You laugh.

“Yeah, I’m sleepy.”

“Okay, baby. I’ll be right back.” He kisses your forehead before running out to grab some water.

“I see you two were having some fun.” Mingi says with a smirk on his face, exiting the bathroom after a quick shower. Hongjoong truthfully didn’t even hear his ass walk into the bathroom and step into the shower.

“Oops. My bad, dude. We’ll keep it down next time.” Hongjoong chuckles, returning to the room with some water. “Here, drink some. You should probably go pee, too.”

“Joong, I’m so lazy.” You respond after chugging some water.

“Go.” He hands you the sweats you were wearing earlier. You roll your eyes and shove them on, earning a quick ass-slap from Hongjoong for the attitude.

You definitely slept well that night.

And the next morning felt even more perfect, being that you didn’t wake up to a Hongjoong next to you; but, you did wake up to a Hongjoong bringing you a plate of breakfast in bed. He cutely sat on the edge of the bed, brushing the hair out of your face while the other hand held a plate with rice, eggs and spam drizzled in sriracha. You certainly didn’t wanna leave him that day, especially when he pressed repeated kisses against your lips in the car— reassuring you he’d be back to pick you up after classes.

“How was it?” Wooyoung asks as you two sit in the café before classes, raising a brow at the hickeys you’re trying to cover with your sweater [but clearly failing]. “Or should I even ask?” He scratches at his neck as a way to point out your hickeys.

“Uh.” You fiddle with the straw on your drink, biting onto your bottom lip to prevent yourself from smiling too big.

“Ew.” He laughs. “You’re so bad at hiding them, dude. Did he try to eat you or something?”

“You asked!” You tuck your hoodie up. “I didn’t think he’d give me that many hickeys.”

“Mm.” Wooyoung hums. “At least it was good.” He snorts, making you toss a crumpled napkin at his face.

“He made me breakfast in bed, too.”

“You spoiled little brat.” He laughs, this time earning a kick under the table. “Ow, you’re so fiesty today!” He complains.

“Woo, listen to me.” You pout.

“What? The fuck can you possibly be sad about when you got the best fuck of your life and breakfast in bed?”

“Sometimes, I feel like he’s too good to be true.” You give him a look.

“What, why?”

“He’s just so good to me.”

“And you deserve to be loved that way, Y/N. Don’t ever question that shit.” Wooyoung points at you in a scolding manner. “I can tell he genuinely cares about you and really, really likes you. Let the guy love you.”

“Really?” He smiles and nods.

“Yeah, really. It’s the cutest shit. You two are cute.” He pats himself on the back. “Say thank you Wooyoung for throwing us in the backseat of Yunho’s car.”

“Fuck no, you wish.” You joke. Though, you really are grateful for that specific moment. You are grateful to Wooyoung and his irrational, loud, spontaneous ass. You are grateful that Yunho just happened to be there, right at that very second, with the people he was with. Because it brought you to Hongjoong, the one person that has become your homie, lover and friend all in one.

So yeah, maybe Wooyoung is right. After your shitty exes and unfulfilling relationships, maybe you do deserve this.

All of this.

—SUMMER

“Y/N, my favorite!” Hongjoong’s dad says happily as he stands at the front door, watching you step out of the car.

“Hi to you too.” Hongjoong jokes with his dad, making him push Hongjoong out of the way in order to pull you into a big hug. “Mom, your husband doesn’t know how to show love to his youngest son!” Hongjoong yells into the house.

“Hi!” You hug him back before stepping into the house, kicking off your shoes and setting your duffle bag down. His mom comes to greet you, followed by his older brother and his dog, Momo.

“You look so cute today.” His mom says, bringing you to the dining table. “Come eat, I just finished cooking. I made sure to get you some fried fish since I know it’s your favorite.” You sit and look up at her with appreciation before letting out a small ‘thank you.’

When Hongjoong first told you that his family really wanted to meet you, you were scared. You were scared, and you were nervous. All you wanted to do was make a good impression, enough for them to like you and support your relationship with their son.

But it ended up being so much more than that, and you were super happy with the outcome.

You had built such a strong bond with his family over time, just as he did with yours. You constantly wanted to join Hongjoong when he visited home. His parents always asked about you, always wanted to know when the next time you’d drop by. Sometimes, his parents would drive down just to hang out and see you both. Hongjoong had taken you to a huge family gathering or two, his parents proudly showing you off to their family members.

It went the same way with your own parents, but your parents weren’t as adventurous as Hongjoong’s. They loved taking weekend trips to nearby places, while your family loved staying home and being in their comfort zone with the occasional family trips here and there. Your family wasn’t as big as his, and your family loved being lowkey. It wasn’t a problem, but you ended up hanging out with Hongjoong and his family more just because they were closer to the universities and had more plans in store. Plus, you bonded with his father and his older brother over basketball. It was always a good time.

“What time are you guys heading to the party tonight?” His dad sits on the opposite side, already digging into the fried fish that laid flat in the center of the table.

“I don’t know, probably 9 or something.” Hongjoong picks at the fish, dropping pieces into your bowl of rice.

“Whose house is it at?”

“Joshua’s.” His dad nods.

“Y/N, you’re finally gonna meet his childhood friends.” You nod.

“I know, I can’t wait.” You giggle.

“They’re all obnoxious freeloaders.” Hongjoong’s mom laughs while she washes the pans in the sink, telling his father to be nice.

“So what hotel are we staying at over the weekend?” The main reason you two came down for the weekend was because it was a childhood friend’s birthday, and because his parents had plans to do a weekend staycation at a hotel nearly 1.5 hours away. They invited you two to come along, especially since his brother was tagging along, too.

“It’s a smaller one, but it has suites. Ours has a full blown kitchen, living area and two rooms. But we have to sneak Momo in.”

“What do you mean we have to sneak Momo in?” Hongjoong chuckles. “You didn’t check if it was a pet-friendly hotel?”

“I think it is, but I’m not sure. It’s too late to ask anyway. He won’t make a peep.” The both of you turn to Momo sleeping in his crate.

“Yeah, he’s an old man.”

“You and your brother need to sleep out on the pull-out couch so Y/N has the room to herself.”

“Babe, I’m gonna slip into your room.” You playfully nudge him in the midst of eating, rolling your eyes.

“I’m sure the couch will be just as great, Joongie.”

“Don’t be like that.” He pouts.

“Give her some space, my goodness.” You laugh at his mom’s response, excited to spend the weekend with them nonetheless.

The night comes rather quickly, especially after you’ve walked Momo with Joong and tagged along to buy some groceries for the weekend staycation. You’ve dressed yourself up in a cute little mini skirt and a top, while Hongjoong is sporting a white Stussy shirt, black jeans and a backwards cap. The house isn’t too far from his own; the town that his family lives in not being incredibly huge. He pulls up to a block lined with big, two-story homes [similarly to his], parking in a spot around the round-about. The house at the corner is flooding with people— either hanging out outside or in the house, and the music is muffled behind the walls of the house.

“Ready, baby?” You give him a nod and he quickly leans over to kiss you on the lips. The two of you walk hand in hand towards the house, Hongjoong already greeting people the moment you’ve stepped onto the property.

You’re a bit relieved when you see San, Mingi and Yunho hanging around in the house, instantly greeting them while Hongjoong continues to say his hellos. It’s not long before you’re returning back to his side because Hongjoong is proudly introducing you to everyone as his girlfriend, his lady, his girl; arm either swung around your shoulder or your waist. Even though these are people he mainly grew up with, you didn’t feel entirely left out with how down-to-earth and outgoing everyone was.

“Let me get you something to drink.” Hongjoong kisses your temple before tapping your hips and leaving you to Yunho, San and Mingi.

“Dude, I’m glad you came tonight.” Yunho swings an arm around you. “Where’s Woo at?”

“He went home, too! He’s barely been around his apartment cause he’s been spending time with family.”

“He does hate being around school.” You laugh.

“He does.”

“Did you get to meet everyone? I think mostly everyone’s here.” Mingi looks around, sipping on his drink. Hongjoong comes back around with a red cup full of a sweet, fruity cocktail in his hand. He hands you the cup and presses another chaste kiss to your lips before hugging you from behind.

“I think so.” Right at this moment, more roars are coming towards the backyard door where a few heads walk in. Loud greetings and hugs are being thrown towards the group that just arrived, Hongjoong, Yunho, San and Mingi happily greeting the guy that walks in first.

“My guy!” Hongjoong daps him up and everything, even with his one arm still wrapped around your shoulder.

“Kim fucking Hongjoong, it’s about time! I haven’t seen you in so long, dude!” The guy looks down at you with a big smile, giving you a curt nod. “Who’s the pretty lady? Is this Y/N?”

“Sure is.” Hongjoong smiles. “This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, Jisung.” He properly introduces you.

“I’ve heard so much about you.” He smiles, his semi-long permed black hair cascading down the sides of his face. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” Truthfully, you’ve probably only heard Jisung’s name tossed around a few times, but Joong has never really talked about him like that. It does make your heart soar that he’s proudly talking about you and beaming about your relationship.

A girl comes up behind Jisung and loudly greets Yunho, San and Mingi. Her eyes simply glaze over you and Hongjoong, but she manages to mutter a small ‘hey’ before pulling Jisung to the drinks. It’s not until someone calls out her name that you realize it’s Hongjoong’s Tara; his ex, Tara. You don’t miss how Hongjoong’s smile fades a bit, and how his body becomes rather stiff. But, he manages to play it off well— returning his attention to you as if the vibe switch never happened. He had always been honest about his relationship with her, telling you that they had always been close before they started dating. But unfortunately, all of that has gone to waste with how awful their break up was. He doesn’t give you details on the breakup— how, why or when it happened. You just know that they’re awkward, and that they’re back to being strangers.

It is what it is, he says. Maybe it just works out better that way.

You never pressed on it, never asked him more. Because whatever Hongjoong was willing to share was okay with you, and as long as he was okay, you were okay. Same thing goes for you and your ex— Hongjoong never pressed you to share what you weren’t comfortable with; but he damn sure made up for everything you had gone through in your previous relationship. He made sure to kiss every scar, every wound, every thought, that made you believe you weren’t enough or that you lacked in certain areas.

Because to him, you truly didn’t. You were one of a kind.

Throughout the night, you and Hongjoong continue to stick to each other, sharing affectionate moments in between silly dances. Tara surprisingly didn’t make her presence known much, and that eased the anxiety you felt when she first walked in. It’s not like you expected him to be bothered purely by the way he talked about their history, but at the same time, you didn’t know what to expect and you didn’t know her. You just wanted to have a good time with him and the people he enjoyed being around. You loved being with him more than anything, and you loved the attention he always gave you. You didn’t have to ask because Hongjoong always gave, always made sure to take care of you before anyone else.

Towards the end, you find yourself clinging close to Yunho and participating in a round of beer pong with him while Hongjoong steps outside to take a few hits of a blunt Jisung made.

“I’m glad you brought Y/N along. I’ve been dying to meet her since your ass talks about her so much.” Joong laughs just as he exhales.

“That’s my girl.”

“You look hella happy with her.”

“I am. We just.. fit. She really does make me happy.” Joong takes another hit.

“That’s good. I’m happy for you.” Jisung chuckles. “So does that mean..?” Joong looks at him because he already knows what he’s talking about.

“We’re not really talking.”

“That’s not what I was gonna ask, though.” Jisung cocks a brow up. “I’m assuming you’re over her and everything since Y/N is around now.”

“Mhm. Yeah.” Is all Hongjoong says. “Been over with.”

“Okay.” Jisung responds. He leaves it at that because even though a tiny part of him feels like Hongjoong isn’t actually over it, who is he to argue against it? Only Hongjoong knows what’s going on in that head of his. Jisung can only hope you don’t get hurt by anything in the end because you seem like a genuinely nice and sweet girl.

Once Hongjoong and Jisung are done smoking, he comes to find you finishing up the round with Yunho. He celebrates your victory, showering you in kisses before whispering in your ear that he wanted to get the fuck up out of there. You take the keys from him and step into the driver’s seat, sober enough compared to your boyfriend since Yunho took all the beer during beer pong. The both of you recount different moments of the party, with you telling Hongjoong that you really enjoyed meeting his group of friends from home.

“Baby.” He breaks the silence, hand on your thigh and giving it a good squeeze.

“Yes?” You quickly look over at him before looking back out to the road.

“You’re so pretty.” He says, the weed still in his system; eyes still glossy and red. “I liked seeing you have fun tonight.”

“Joong.” You giggle.

“No, seriously. You’re perfect.” He squeezes at your thigh again, fingers slowly trailing up to your inner thighs and sending goosebumps to ripple through your body.

“No one’s perfect.”

“You are. To me.” Your breath quietly hitches when you feel his fingers tease at the hem of your skirt. “My pretty girl.” His hand finally dips underneath, teasing at your panties.

“You do remember we’re going back to your parents’ house, right?”

“Mhm.” He teases at the edge of the material; so close, yet so far. Threatening to be right where you want him. “Just sleep in my room.”

“I’m not doing that with your parents around, Hongjoong.” He chuckles.

“They won’t care. Fuck the guest room. You can just be quiet for me, right pretty?” He bites onto his bottom lip.

“Hongjoong.” You whine, almost unable to finish the drive home with the way your boyfriend is being.

“Pull into the park’s lot.” He points ahead. “Need you right now.”

“In the lot?!”

“You won’t sleep in my room, so..” You let out a breath, still obeying to pull into the lot. You needed him just as bad, the ache becoming unbearable in between your legs. You park under the tree for more ‘privacy’ [if you can even it call it that], the rest of the lot completely empty and dark. As soon as you put the gear in park, Hongjoong is tugging onto your shirt, begging for you to be on his lap. “Ride me.” He adjusts the seat enough so that you have room to climb over, already unbuckling his belt and undoing his jeans. When you land on his lap, he tugs your panties to the side and guides you onto his tip, letting out a loud moan when you finally sink down on his length. “Fuuuuck.”

“Joong, someone might see us.”

“No one will see us.” He digs his fingers deeper into your hips, encouraging you to work your hips faster.

“We don’t even have a condom!”

“I’ll pull out.” He laughs. “Fuck baby, I promise. We’re okay.” He kisses you sweetly on the lips. “Just need you right now. Ride me like the good girl you are, hm?” You let out a breathy moan hearing his raspy voice, working your hips back and forth at a steady pace.

“Feels so good.” You whine.

“Always know how to ride me so well.” He dips his thumb into your mouth, watching you wrap your pretty lips around it. “And you’re all mine. Right, princess?”

“I’m yours.” You mewl with a nod just as he slips his thumb out of your mouth, hand now coming to your neck with enough pressure. He pulls you in for a sloppy, wet kiss, shared moans released in between kisses. The friction against your clit is adding onto the pleasure you feel, your orgasm building quick. It only takes a few more rolls against him before you feel yourself unraveling, moans echoing within the car— you’d really be surprised if nobody questioned it. The car moving, sounds probably heard through the windows.

You can’t believe him right now.

“Hongjoong, I’m gonna—” You don’t even finish your sentence before your squeezing the life out of him, walls pulsing around his length. It’s enough to bring Hongjoong’s orgasm out of him, the panic lowkey mixing with the pleasure he’s feeling.

“Fuck— up, baby. Up.” He taps your hips and you move upwards, Joong releasing right into his hand as soon as he’s out. You’re still twitching from the sensitivity while also trying to regulate your breathing, exhaustion hitting you quick in the tight space. “Shit.” Hongjoong says, looking around to grab a napkin.

“You’re so messy.” You joke, making him laugh.

“Where else could I have done it, hm? Enlighten me.” You point to your mouth to tease him. He responds by clicking his teeth, wiping away in between your legs before tending to himself. “Don’t say shit like that, Y/N. We might never make it back to my parents’ place.” You laugh and hop off, albeit struggling to make it back to the driver’s seat.

“We’re leaving.” You fix yourself a bit more before buckling your seatbelt in and starting up the car. Joong continues to adjust himself back into his jeans before settling, letting out a hefty sigh when he’s comfortable.

“Offer still stands, love.”

“What offer?”

“To sleep in my room.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Why?” He pouts and whines. “I’m telling you right now, my parents won’t care.”

“I do!”

“Baby, how are you gonna do me like that?”

“You’ll see me down the hall in the morning.” You smile at him before driving up the hill, the park literally being down the street from the house. When you arrive and park at the curb in front of the house, you and Joong quietly step inside and slip out of your shoes. He playfully grabs you by the waist, pulling you into more kisses in the dark to prevent you from heading up the stairs. You silently scold him and laugh against his lips, afraid his parents will wake up and see you two making out in the entryway. Just as you’re about to head down to the guest room, Joong tugs you by the wrist and pulls you into his room for another round of kisses.

“Just stay with me.” He whispers before locking his lips with yours again.

“I’m down the hall.” He gently sucks onto your bottom lip, slightly pushing himself up against you. “Kim Hongjoong. Stop it.” You tap him on the chest and he sighs in defeat.

“I hate sleeping without you.”

“It’s for one weekend.” You blush at Hongjoong’s neediness. Quite frankly, you don’t wanna be without him either, and it’s taking everything in you to leave him. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Fine.” He meets your eyes while caressing your chin. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smile at him before leaving him in his room to head down to the guest room. The guest room has a half bathroom that you use to get ready for the night. You quickly wash up and throw on a comfy pajama set before slipping into the bed and plugging your phone into the charger. Hongjoong sends you a few more texts and pouty faces before you send one final text saying you were setting the phone down for the night.

The next morning, you’re woken up by his parents making breakfast downstairs, followed by Hongjoong’s dad yelling for him and his brother to wake up and take Momo out. Hongjoong’s actually the first to be up, responding that he’ll take Momo out after he checks on his other baby first. You giggle to yourself under the covers until you feel another body jump onto the sheets and hug you tightly. He showers you with tickles and kisses before getting up to get ready for the rest of the weekend ahead.

Which, was amazing. Something you’ll always remember, something you’ll always keep close to your heart.

The hotel was small, but beautiful, and it sat in the middle of a cute town. You successfully snuck Momo into the suite with Hongjoong and his brother; the boys tasked with hauling his things and his crate, while you tucked him nicely into a blanket and carried him into the room once the coast was clear. The entire weekend was spent walking around town or playing around at the pool while Hongjoong’s parents always cooked the best meals. Hongjoong would occasionally sneak into your room just to pepper you with kisses and lay with you for a bit before you would whine about his parents finding him in there. It was a weekend full of laughter, bonding, candid photos, kisses and sweet praises from Hongjoong— telling you he felt so lucky to have you.

You, perfect for him.

You, everything to him.

And that continued even after the weekend. You and Hongjoong both found summer jobs just to keep yourselves busy, but he never failed to make you feel loved despite the slight change in schedules. He’d drop by as soon as you both were off, bringing you a bouquet of ‘just cause’ flowers before kissing you and holding you close. He’d bring you to work on days he didn’t have work and patiently wait for you to get off. He’d cook you a good meal, cuddle you and make love to you in the best [yet nastiest] ways. He’d surprise you with little things here and there— shoes, little trinkets, shirts— things he knew you’d like and that reminded him of you, only you. The hangouts with your friends and his friends continued, the bond between all of you only growing more tight.

You could say that summer was amazing. It was the happiest you’ve felt in such a long time. Or.. ever, if you’re being honest.

You were so happy that the moments when Hongjoong would go home for a night to hang out with his childhood friends or help his parents, you’d be sad. You knew you couldn’t always be with him, but those moments when you weren’t, easily made you feel incomplete. You were used to having him around, stuck at your hip while he kissed your temple and kept you close.

You felt empty, like your other half was missing.

“You’re leaving me.” You pout as you wait for your smoothie to be done, Hongjoong resting his chin on top of your head while he lazily holds you from behind. Tonight was one of those nights where you’d be sleeping without Hongjoong, a night where you wouldn’t get any cuddles, kisses.

A night without his warmth.

“Only for the night, love. I’ll be back tomorrow.” He presses his lips to your head. Once your smoothie is done, you take it to the car with your hand in his, head hung low because you don’t wanna be without Hongjoong for a night. You’ve gotten so used to being with him that one night feels way too long.

When he finally gets you back to the apartment, he kisses you sweetly; hands cupping your cheeks before he presses a kiss to your forehead. He tells you how much he’s gonna miss his pretty girl for the night, but he’ll be back before you know it. You smile, hugging him tightly before waving him off and watching his car drive off towards the direction of home.

Though you already missed him, you happily skip to your room and eat your favorite breakfast bagel with your smoothie; reminiscing about how summer has been so, so good to you.

How Hongjoong has been so, so good to you.

—SENIOR YEAR IN COLLEGE

“Hi!” You giggle as you hop into Hongjoong’s car, leaning in to kiss him. But, he moves away, furrowing his brows at you. He’s angry, and you’re not exactly sure why. “Um, okay. What’s wrong?”

“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting here for close to 15 minutes and you weren’t even answering my texts or calls.”

“Babe, I’m sorry. Class ran late and then I ran into Ara and Wooyoung on the way over.” He pulls out of the lot rather quickly, speeding off to his apartment from campus. “Slow down.”

“You couldn’t take that one second to text me or let me know?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about it.” He doesn’t respond.

“Yeah, you didn’t.”

“It’s 15 minutes, Joong.”

“I’m just saying you could’ve told me, Y/N. I picked you up, it’s the least you could do.”

“The least I could do? If you didn’t wanna pick me up, you could’ve just said so—”

“That’s not the point.”

“Hongjoong, I didn’t do this on purpose. It just slipped my mind.” Your bottom lip starts to tremble. “Why are you so angry with me? I haven’t seen you all day.”

“Exactly.” Is all he says, leaning into his hand propped near the window as the other steers the wheel. You feel the tears building up quickly because not only was this unintentional, but Hongjoong is making you feel incredibly guilty for no reason.

“I said I was sorry. Why are you being like that?”

“I’m not being like anything, Y/N.”

“You’re being mean.”

“Am I?” He quickly turns to you with a glare before looking back out at the road. “I do hella shit for you, the least you could do is fucking let me know you’re gonna be late instead of letting me look dumb.” You flinch at his words, a mixture of both anger and sadness running through your body.

“I don’t mean to be such a chore for you.”

“Wow, there you go putting words into my mouth again. No one even said that.” You cross your arms and quietly slump in your seat, subtly wiping away at the tears streaming down your cheeks. You don’t even continue the conversation, leaving the air heavy and thick for the remaining 10 minute drive home to his apartment.

Once you get there, you simply kick off your shoes and sadly greet San and Mingi before walking into Hongjoong’s room. You change into comfier clothes, and slip into bed; studying for next week’s test and taking notes on your iPad while Joong talks to the boys outside in the living room. They start up a game of FIFA that has them screaming in the living room for an hour or so before they decide they’re gonna head out for a bit. Usually, Hongjoong skips in and begs you to come because he doesn’t wanna go anywhere without you. He loves having fun with you, seeing you smile and being able to kiss you in between.

But tonight, he rushes into the room without saying a word, and grabs a jacket before heading back out. The door to his room shuts close and you can’t help but feel your heart break. All of this over being 15 minutes late, and you feel terrible about yourself.

Why were you doing everything wrong?

“Woo.” You cry into the phone.

“What’s wrong?” You continue to cry quietly. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Joong was just hella mad at me. For the dumbest reason.”

“What happened?”

“Dude, he was so mad at me for taking too long. Said I should’ve just texted him and let him know instead of making him look dumb for 15 minutes.”

“I’m sorry, what? That’s what you’re arguing about?” He clicks his teeth. “Y/N, please stop crying. Where is he right now?”

“I don’t know, he left with San and Mingi.”

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“He didn’t say anything else to you?”

“No. He was angry. Sped the fuck off to the apartment and everything.”

“I get where he’s coming from but it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s not like you always do this to him.”

“Why do I feel so bad and guilty about everything? I always feel like I’m doing something wrong.”

“You’re not. He’s just not thinking.” You sniff and wipe away at your face, glancing at the time. You didn’t think Hongjoong would be back any time soon, so you continue to talk to Wooyoung on the phone while going through your notes. It’s about 2 hours in before Wooyoung says he’s gonna call it a night since he needs to wake up early and head home for the weekend. You let him go and get yourself ready for bed— fully expecting Hongjoong to probably sleep outside or create a gap between you two.

You wake up close to midnight when you hear San barge into the room with repeated apologies, hair a mess.

“Y/N, I am so sorry to wake you, but I need help.” You look up at him and sit up, rubbing at your eyes. Suddenly, the sound of someone falling into the floor and crashing into the dining room table echoes in the living room and San panics. “They’re both fucking drunk.” San says, stumbling back into the living room to find Mingi laid out on the dining room chairs, while Hongjoong is on the floor. You sigh and let San guide Mingi to his room, while you tend to your boyfriend.

“Joong, get up.”

“Baby. I’m sooo drunk.”

“Yeah, I can see that. You need to get up, though.” You try to pull him up by the arm. Luckily, he cooperates, though he stumbles a bit while you guide him to the bathroom. “Can we get you ready for bed?”

“Only if you come with me.” He hiccups. You shake your head and sigh.

“Yeah.” You sit him on the toilet. “Sit. I need to grab you some clothes.”

“I’m gonna fall over and die.” He laughs.

“You’re not.” San comes out of the hallway, letting out a huge sigh.

“Mingi’s in bed.”

“Can you watch him? I need to grab him some clothes.” San sits with him while you grab him a change of clothes. You hear them fumbling in the bathroom before Hongjoong lets out another laugh.

“Dude, keep still. Jesus Christ. You’re so lucky Y/N’s taking care of you. I would’ve left your ass there to fend for yourself.” He scolds him just as you walk back into the bathroom.

“Thanks, Sannie.” He gives you a tiny, toothless smile and nods.

“I’m sorry about this.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Just go and get some rest.”

“I’m gonna sleep on Mingi’s floor in case he yacks on himself.” He rolls his eyes, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

“My pretty baby.” He continues to tug you closer, making grabby hands and being all needy.

“Stop, Joong. Get your shirt off.”

“Why are you mad at me?” He whines as you switch out his shirt.

“Cause you were mad at me for something stupid.”

“You were taking so long. I just wanted to be with you, but Wooyoung was taking up your time. W-Wouldn’t you feel the same way?” He slurs.

“Ara, too.” You look at him. “You don’t need to get mad at me for things like that, Hongjoong.” You can’t believe you’re having this talk with him while he’s intoxicated. But for whatever reason, you feel like he’ll understand you better this way. He’ll be less mean, less temperamental.

It shouldn’t be that way, though.

“Sorry.” He mumbles as you help him switch into his pajama bottoms. You don’t respond as you quickly wipe down his face with a wet face towel, handing him his toothbrush. “Baby, m’sorry. What more do you want?” He’s only accepting defeat because what else can he do being this vulnerable right now?

“Okay.” You give him what he wants. “Brush your teeth so you can get to bed.” Hongjoong brushes his teeth, grabbing the tiny cup of mouthwash you hand him before guiding him to the bed. He plops down onto his stomach, arm lazily hanging off the edge while you tuck him in. He falls asleep rather quickly, already deep in sleep when you place a water bottle on the nightstand and a trash can near the bed.

You sleep easily throughout the night after that, with the occasional Hongjoong tossing and turning in bed, sitting up to drink water before he’s back to holding you and keeping you close. You feel his lips press against the back of your head and neck a few times, but you don’t budge. Because you’re still upset, yet you’ve pushed it to the back of your mind to take care of him.

Oh, Hongjoong.

You wish you weren’t so easy to fold when it came to him, your relationship. Hongjoong does so, so well bringing you up; but you’re learning over time and as your relationship goes on, he does so, so well bringing you down, too.

The following morning comes, and Mingi is yacking his brains out in the bathroom. You shrug Hongjoong’s arm off of you before you stretch and slip out of it, Joong way too out of it to even care. By the time you make it outside, Mingi is standing at the bathroom doorway, holding onto his stomach. You ask him if he’s okay and he winces, telling you he’s unsure if he’s got more left in him. You gently push him back to his room to rest before you’re cleaning the bathroom and washing up for the day. You cook a good meal for the boys, arranging a plate for your boyfriend. By the time that you’ve set the food out and cleaned up, Hongjoong is awake, but also struggling to move much.

“God, I’m so fucking hungover.” He mumbles and groans, barely able to look you in the eye.

“Eat.” You set the breakfast on his table.

“You made breakfast?”

“Yeah, cause both you and Mingi sound terrible right now.”

“Baby.” He sits up to drink water before pulling you in between his legs. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to.”

“It’s fine.” You try to push off, but he doesn’t let you go anywhere.

“Hey. I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“It’s fine, Joong.”

“You don’t seem like you’re fine.”

“It’s fine. I’ll text you from now on if I’m gonna be late. I just don’t need you getting mad at me for that.” He hums against your chest and continues to hold you without saying much. So, you stand and wrap your arms around him, letting out a sigh in hopes that all the pent-up frustration would leave, too.

“You’re so good to me.”

“I hope so.” You look down at him, swallowing the lump in your throat. You truly hope you are good to him. At least, you hope he genuinely believes so because it’s so easy to feel like you aren’t, like you aren’t doing enough, especially when Joong gets like that.

Though over time, you believe he meant it, for the most part. Hongjoong is better, but that doesn’t mean the arguments have settled completely. The moments they do spring up, he’s back to his ways of keeping silent and brushing you off, or leaving you behind. He comes back late, slipping into bed before pulling you close and whispering his apologies into your ear.

It’s a never-ending cycle, a circle, but you take it because Joong is what you’ve known, Joong is your other half. You take it because Joong is your home, and that maybe, this was just a silly little phase. Something you two will eventually grow out of.

A little bump in the road, a hill to overcome. As with any relationship.

A weekend full of fun activities eventually makes way, one that universities in your town and neighboring cities always look forward to. It’s the one weekend where all campuses get together for a full day of music, food and friendly competition before partying the night away at a local venue. This year the event was going to be held in the next city over, about an hour drive down. You, Hongjoong and your friends had packed up all your things and drove separately— you with Joong, Wooyoung with Yunho and Ara, San with Mingi.

As soon as you all arrive at the hotel, you unpack and grab dinner before heading to bed for the festivities the next day that started bright and early. You knew you were gonna have tons of fun this weekend, but you didn’t expect it to be the same weekend that you’d be tested; that your relationship would be riding its downhill course yet again.

Your group, along with other familiar faces, stayed during the majority of the day’s events. You and Wooyoung ran into a lot of people you knew growing up, catching up while standing in line for snacks and food, or in between the games happening out on the field. So did Joong.

And he was his usual self, happily introducing you to people you hadn’t met before and vice versa. He kept you to his hip whenever he could, peppering you with kisses, dancing around and having fun like the Hongjoong you first fell in love with. A lot of it felt like old times, like there wasn’t a care in the world. It had just been you and him, through rose-tinted glasses.

When it’s time for the afterparty, you and your friends do a shit ton of pre-gaming before heading out to the venue across the street. The coordinators and the huge security team keep a single file line organized right outside of the doors until opening, allowing the venue to be flooded with people right at 8pm on the dot. You hang onto Joong, afraid you’ll lose him in the sea of people, with your friends around you until you find a good spot on the dance floor. No one wastes any time once you settle on a spot— you working your hips on Hongjoong while he holds you close, while San and Ara are also indulging in each other and Wooyoung is pulling random girls to dance. At some point, Yunho and Mingi run over to grab some drinks for everyone to sip on, the DJ’s setlist continuing to hit all the right spots.

“Baby.” Hongjoong says, arm around your waist while he leans in by your ear. “I’m gonna go find Jisung. He said he just got here.”

“Okay. Tell him I said hi.” He pulls away to look at you and smiles, brushing your hair back.

“I will. Be back? Be good?” He chuckles while you nod, planting a sweet kiss to your lips.

For awhile, Hongjoong is gone long enough that you’re not sure if he ever found Jisung. You start exploring around the dance floor, greeting people you know again before heading off to the spacious hallway that leads to the bathrooms and water fountains. Lots of people are standing around and talking, which makes it a bit harder for you to find him. You eventually do though, and you almost wished you hadn’t at that exact moment, at that exact time.

The exact moment when Tara pulls him in for a hug, keeping her arms around his waist while he looks down at her with a fond smile. He laughs loudly while she continues to talk to him, the grip around his waist clearly not loosening any time soon. He throws an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in for another hug; keeping her there for a bit before she finally pulls back and parts from him.

You head towards his direction, his eyes instantly landing on you when you get closer. He gives you the same fond smile, before pulling you in and hugging you close. You swear you could still smell her perfume on his clothes and it gives you the ick.

“I didn’t know Tara was here, too.” You say, even though you should’ve expected it with all the schools invited. You should’ve known she was bound to be here, especially with Jisung being around.

“Yeah, and?”

“Nothing, nevermind.”

“No, I know you. What are you catching an attitude about? Because I said hi?” He furrows his brows at you and pulls away.

“It’s not even that—” You’re not even sure how to explain yourself, because how do you tell him she makes you uncomfortable without getting accused of being jealous? You know Hongjoong would instantly get upset, thinking you don’t trust him enough to be around his ex. That’s not the case at all. It’s just something about her that makes you feel.. off, and you can’t exactly put your finger on it. It’s probably the way they’re so up and down sometimes, you can’t tell if Hongjoong wants to keep her in his life or not. It makes you wonder how “awful” their breakup truly was.

But yeah, right now, you are kinda mad about how she hugged him and kept him close. He let that happen, too.

“Just because she’s here, you wanna ruin a good night? Be for real, Y/N. All you fucking do is trip over stupid shit.” He says, alcohol surely not helping in this case.

“I’m trippin’ over stupid shit?”

“Yeah, you are! It’s so fucking unnecessary when you act like that. I was just catching up with Jisung and Tara happened to come by. I don’t know why you assume so many things right away. Nobody is putting those thoughts in your head, you do that to yourself.” Hongjoong harshly lets go of you before walking off and leaving you in the hallway. Yunho is just leaving the bathroom, catching you standing there with a sadness in your eyes that surely doesn’t fit the environment you guys are in right now.

“Yo, you okay?” He throws an arm around you and brings you close, having to talk right in your ear because of the music blasting. You look up at him and shake your head, tears pricking your eyes while you sadly stand there with your arms tucked closely to your chest. “Woah, hey. What’s going on?”

“Tara.” Yunho lets out a small sigh as he frowns. He understands the anxiety that builds when she’s around. He knows their full story, and quite frankly, he’s iffy about the whole Tara thing, too. You clearly don’t know, but Yunho can tell your gut is telling you otherwise— that your instincts are making you defensive, making you overthink. He knows how serious their relationship was, but he also knew how much of a rollercoaster it was. How bad the breakup was, how weird they’ve been even post-break up. Hongjoong is a good guy, and he likes to think that he’d be smart enough [and grown enough] to move on from all that mess. “He’s fucking mad at me because I made a big deal out of it. I’m sorry I don’t want her around him.”

“I’m sorry, that’s totally valid. He’s drunk and he’s being a dick. He’ll realize how stupid he’s being. Let him.” Yunho smiles and gives you a playful pinch on the cheek. “No crying allowed. Let’s go back to the dance floor, okay?”

“Bruh! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Wooyoung grabs your wrist when he finally spots you and Yunho. “Don’t you hear the song they’re playing?! It’s our song!” You laugh, letting Yunho and Wooyoung guide you back to the dance floor. Once Yunho and Wooyoung have successfully brought you back to the dance floor, you’re able to brush off your feelings and forget the stupid drama for a bit. Wooyoung dances closely with you [like he always has], playfully singing around and laughing while simultaneously watching the crowd go crazy around you. Being around Wooyoung feels nice because you’re reminded of the good ol’ times. You’re reminded of the times you used to be so, so carefree and so full of life. You’re reminded of the times you didn’t have to worry about a single thing or feel so fucking anxious and frustrated. You’re reminded of the times when you and Wooyoung used to have tons of fun without a single weight on your shoulders.

Well, scratch that. You still do. It’s just a little different now.

During the remaining time you’re at the party, Hongjoong doesn’t return to you even once. And you know he’s hanging out with Jisung. Probably other childhood friends. Definitely Tara. And your suspicions are confirmed when you excuse yourself from dancing with your bestfriend and a few others to grab water, finding Hongjoong laughing and in good spirits with Jisung, Tara and another friend. There’s a look in his eyes when he looks down at her, and it makes your stomach twist.

Of course.

You’re not really sure why that’s the last straw, it’s not like he was doing anything out in the open with her. He would never do anything, you think. Even if you haven’t seen him throughout the night, he would never. But, it’s definitely the fact that he chose to spend his time with them [her] knowing how you felt.

And that shit is fucked up. You’re hurt.

You make contact with him and roll your eyes, shaking your head right before you take a big swig of water and head out the doors. Before you know it, you’re outside, pushing through the random groups lingering to get fresh air. Luckily, the hotel is a short walk across the street. But, you’re not even sure if you should call Wooyoung and take your things into his shared room with Ara and Yunho because you truly don’t want to be around Hongjoong if he was gonna be like that.

“Fuck.” Hongjoong mumbles to himself. Jisung follows his eyes, watching as you storm out of the venue alone.

“Uh, is she good?” Tara can’t help but look over either, heart sinking when she realizes Hongjoong is about to run after you. Because yeah, she has history with him, and she knows deep down that part of Hongjoong still has a grip on it. Just like she does.

“I’ll catch up with you later, alright?” Is all Hongjoong says before bidding them farewell to chase after you.

“Of course.”

“Tara.” Jisung gently scolds her through his tone. “I know that shit has always been complicated, but I need you to let him be.”

“Okay, Jisung. I’m not even saying anything. It’s just annoying how we can’t even be friends.”

“It’s never just that with you two and you know it.” She looks at Jisung and remains quiet, not having a rebuttal.

She knows, she knows.

Meanwhile, Hongjoong pauses in his steps and searches for your familiar figure. More people have piled outside, making it a bit harder for him to navigate through the crowds. Once he leaves the entrance and finds himself on the street, he sees you nearing the crosswalk.

“Baby, baby.” You hear Hongjoong behind you, footsteps getting louder as he picks up his pace to catch up with you. “Baby, wait. I’m sorry.” He repeats when he grabs your wrist, but you’re quick to snatch it out of his grip.

“Hongjoong, go back to the party. Looks like you were having a fucking blast anyway.”

“No, I don’t want to.” He attempts to grab you again but you’ve moved out of his reach.

“And I don’t want you here.” You sharply look at him. “Just go back with your friends. I’m sure Tara’s looking for you, too.”

“I don’t give a fuck! I wanna be with you.”

“If you actually wanted to spend time with me, then you would’ve done that a long time ago.” You feel the tears threatening to spill from your bottom lid as you continue to walk across the street to the hotel. You keep your distance from Hongjoong, genuinely wanting to be alone and away from him for a moment— but he doesn’t understand and he won’t. Because he’s selfish, and the moment he realizes you’re slipping from his grip, he panics.

Saying and throwing everything your way just to get you calm, to not have you be mad.

“I didn’t mean to get upset at you, it’s just frustrating—”

“I really don’t wanna do this right now, okay? I left alone for a reason.”

“Can you just listen to me for a second?”

“I don’t want to!” You push away from him once again, picking up your pace. “Hongjoong, just go back to your friends. For the love of god, I don’t wanna be around you right now. You fucking knew how I felt about the entire thing yet you still spent time with her and your friends. And you got mad at me for voicing those feelings! God forbid I feel that way about her.” You snap. “I don’t wanna do this anymore. I’m so fucking tired of fighting with you, all we do is—” He comes around and tries to stop you in your tracks, hands on your arms as he tries to pull you close.

“No, baby. You don’t mean that. I’m trying here! What do you want me to do?!” His voice slightly raises.

“You’re trying?! Funny cause you had hella shit to say to me at the party. Don’t try and flip the switch now.”

“I didn’t mean it, fuck!” He groans, attempting to stop you from walking any further again. His tone is loud enough to catch the attention of a couple walking past, eyes fixed on the scene until Hongjoong lowers his voice. “I just got frustrated and I’m sorry, okay? Please don’t leave. Let me make this up to you.”

“You don’t even know what the hell you’re sorry for!” You continue to raise your voice before storming up into the lobby, straight to the elevators.

“Yes I do!” He rushes into the elevator with you, and you tuck yourself into the corner. But of course, in a very typical Hongjoong manner, he cages you in, hands resting on the rails while his face barely ghosts yours. “I fucked up, and I didn’t mean to discredit your feelings. I want you to know that I don’t care about Tara. That shit is all in the past. It gets frustrating because I would never do anything to lose you, Y/N. I just need you to trust me. Why don’t you trust me?”

“Joong, I don’t get why you can’t just cut her off. She’s your ex for a reason. I don’t understand it. I just don’t feel comfortable with it, and I’m sorry—”

“I know, baby. If you want me to cut her off, I will. I wanna make up for this and prove it to you.” You let out a breath. “No one else matters to me.” Silence. You aren’t really sure what to say. What can you say? Was it wrong for you to ask him to cut her off?

If not, why do you feel guilty about it? Why do you feel so fucking wrong for doing that? For making it a ‘big deal,’ for voicing your uncomfortability?

“You didn’t have to come after me and miss the party.” You don’t really know what else to say. You’re tired and you’re over it, so you do what you do best in these scenarios: try to physically push him away from you and keep him at bay.

“Stop pushing me away. Baby, please.” He shakes his head and almost whines, cupping your face. “I don’t care about the party. I don’t care about any of them. Why can’t you trust me?” And it’s that stupid fucking look Hongjoong gives you that makes you melt, makes you weak in the knees. He looks at you in a way that reassures you, in a way that tells you how special you are; a way that says you’re mine and only mine.

And it gets you every single time.

You let out a shaky breath when his thumb caresses the surface, lips a few inches away from yours.

“Don’t push me away. I’m sorry, I’ll make this better. You can trust me.” He repeats. You don’t respond besides a simple nod, giving him leverage to press a chaste kiss to your lips as the elevator doors open.

Hongjoong is home to you, which is why you trust him to make it better, to keep you safe.

That night, Hongjoong takes you into the room and shows you his way of making up for it, of taking care of you, of showing you all that matters is you. You slip into the shower, eventually letting Joong join and take you inside. He carefully calculates every move, every kiss, every touch; making sure to whisper and mark your skin with his repeated apologies. And it doesn’t stop there, no. You get yourself ready for bed, throwing on one of Joong’s shirts before slipping under the covers. He shuts off the lights when he’s finished, getting in next to you. Innocent cuddles and kisses eventually turn into Joong taking you from behind; pounding into you while he pulls your hair and whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

No one else matters to me.

You’re perfect.

Made for me.

My good girl.

And you take it all, letting the love consume you all over again. Because for a while after this, things felt beautiful again. You felt like you were back in your honeymoon-cloud nine phase with Hongjoong— sharing laughs and jokes, holding each other close while kissing each other every chance you get. He’d make love to you like the last day on Earth was tomorrow, souls intertwining and never wanting to be apart from you.

Things were good, until they weren’t.

There comes a day when you realize he hasn’t actually cut Tara off, and your anxiety spikes again. There comes a day when all those shitty feelings return, and it makes you question if there was any meaning behind everything Hongjoong said, did.

You sat on Hongjoong’s bed, reading through a chapter of a book for class. He’s out in the hallway grabbing his clothes from the dryer when his phone dings a few times, your eyes shooting to the screen sitting on the nightstand. You used to think it was kinda nice that Hongjoong always set his text previews to show up no matter what. Maybe it was a weird way of showing you that he didn’t have anything to hide, maybe it was a way of showing you that you didn’t need to question anything.

Now, you’re not so sure how to feel about it.

tara: hey. is it okay if i swing by and hang out with you guys?

tara: my aunt passed, and i just want to be away from home.

You do feel a bit bad for her. Losing a loved one is never easy, and she is good friends with San and Mingi, too. But, where is Jisung? Where are her other friends? Surely she has other friends she can rely on, right? You can’t help but fix on the funny feeling and the anxiety that bubbles in your gut seeing her name— anything to do with her. You’re not sure what it is, but Tara unsettles you, and you know it’s for a reason. Your instincts are telling you so.

“Who is it?” You flash his phone his way, a small frown on your lips.

“So much for cutting her off, Hongjoong.”

“I’m not even planning to respond to her.”

“Not my point.”

“I know you aren’t getting mad at me over some unanswered texts. I haven’t even talked to Tara since that night.” He glares at you. But if he hadn’t talked to her since that night, what makes her think it’s okay to ask for something like this?

“Why would you tell me you’d cut her off if you weren’t actually planning on doing so? And why do you sound so mad about it?” You’re tired of doing this, going in circles, having to explain your feelings over and over again.

“Oh my god.” He huffs. “We’re really at this again?”

“Because you don’t get it. It just feels weird.”

“Mm, when I haven’t done anything.” He drops the basket onto the floor. “Since you wanna talk about ‘weird’ and bring this shit up again, what’s been going on with you and Wooyoung then?”

“Are you actually kidding me right now?” You scoff. “You’re not serious.”

“You know, I saw you that night of the party. The two of you dancing hella close. I’ve seen the way he is with you lately, too.”

“Wow.” You laugh pathetically because what is actually going on? Wooyoung had never been an issue, at least, Hongjoong has never vocalized it. Nor has Joong ever given you signs that he was becoming a problem. “You know we’re just close like that. It’s actually unbelievable that you’re comparing him to Tara right now.”

“Oh, bullshit! You expect me to believe that? That’s the shit that feels weird.” Hongjoong yells.

“Yes!” You match his tone. “Because we’ve been together for how long?! You know this. Why are you all of a sudden making this an issue? Wooyoung was never a problem—“

“To you, maybe.”

“And that’s my fault, how?! I can’t read your mind, Joong. You never told me you had issues about it.” You groan. “He’s just one of my best friends. I don’t know how else I’m supposed to prove that to you. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Then, what the hell was he doing being all up on you? Leaning into your ear like that. Holding you close. Too fucking close.”

“We’ve always been that way! This isn’t anything new, and you know there isn’t a meaning behind it!” You yell, but you’re quick to crawl back into your shell when Hongjoong tosses a dish into the sink harshly before walking away from the kitchen.

“Right.” He starts walking towards his bedroom and you follow behind. “It’s crazy how you make a big deal out of Tara when I keep her at a distance. I don’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, I make sure there’s clear boundaries.”

“That’s not the same, and you know it. Her being around is uncomfortable enough.”

“How is it different?”

“You’re kidding, right?” You cross your arms. “She wants to get back with you so fucking badly, Joong! How can you not see that? She doesn’t care about me, and you apparently don’t either!”

“Oh, I don’t? I cut her off like you asked me to even though there really wasn’t anything going on between us. Shit was fucking crazy to me, but I did it anyway.”

“What exactly does ‘cutting her off’ mean to you? Because she continues to call you and text you, asking you to be there for her when she has so many other people she can turn to. Why does it always have to be you saving the day? You just let it happen, too! You clearly would see her and let her visit when she needs you. You two aren’t together anymore!”

“So, how is this different from Wooyoung? Because every time something happens, you run to him. You ask for him all the time, you call and text him when you need someone. You choose him all the time.”

“No, I don’t! He’s not my ex-boyfriend, this is just how we are. I’ve known him for so long, he would never disrespect you. Why on earth would you ever think of us in that way? This is different because you and your ex have history. She obviously still loves you, and wants to continue feeling close to you. As soon as you’re vulnerable, she wants to swoop in and show you that she’s always been there. You don’t get it!”

“Fine, I don’t!” But Hongjoong does, he’s just matching your energy and the way you fire back makes him want to fire back even more. He yells and he slams his hand against the wall, making you flinch. He’s heated just as much as you are— it’s all in the heat of the moment. “If I ever asked you to cut Wooyoung off, would you?”

“No. I don’t have a reason to. That’s unfair and you know it.” He scoffs as he throws on his jacket and grabs his keys.

“Okay, whatever. Fuck this then.” He says, just as San and Mingi walk into the apartment— pausing mid-conversation at the chaos going on.

“That’s it?” You pause. “Hongjoong.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say to you, Y/N. I gave you what you wanted.”

“And I am too, I’ve been trying to tell you that you shouldn’t worry about Wooyoung.”

“And yet it still feels like you’d choose him over me if it ever came down to it!” His hand hits the wall and it causes you to step back.

“Woah, hold on. Hongjoong—'' Mingi cuts in when he hears Hongjoong yelling at you, also slightly appalled at the topic behind the argument.

“Why do I even have to choose?!” You begin to cry more, aggressively wiping at your tears. He gives you one last look before he’s heading towards his shoes. “Hongjoong.” You call for him. “Where are you going?” He slides into his shoes, still not sparing you a look. “Hongjoong!”

“For a drive.” Is all he says before he’s heading out and slamming the door in your face. Mingi sighs as he sets his things down and tries to race after Hongjoong, while San sits you down and throws an arm around you to console you.

“What happened?”

“He’s getting mad at me cause Tara texted him.” San sighs. “Started talking about Wooyoung.”

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry Y/N, let him cool down.” You don’t say anything because you’re sick of fighting and you’re sick of his friends, your friends, genuinely apologizing on his behalf. It should have never gotten this deep, and your friends shouldn’t have to be involved. Yet, here they are. “He’s being a hothead. I know how you feel, and you shouldn’t have to explain the situation with Wooyoung after all this time.”

“Sannie, I’m so tired.” You cry into your hands. You truly are tired. You feel exhausted from this rollercoaster you’ve been riding for months. You’re not sure if Hongjoong feels too comfortable, or if he’s just losing sight of who you are to him, what this relationship means to him. And that is an awful feeling. “I’m so done fighting with him.”

“I know.” He rubs your arm and gives you a gentle squeeze. “Hongjoong just needs to realize how lucky he is to have someone like you by his side. For real. You do everything for him and you’re always there for him. I know he’s appreciative but he just needs to do better.” He lets out a breath. “We’ll try to talk some sense into him. Why don’t you lie down and get some rest?” You shake your head.

“I’m gonna go home.”

“Want me to drive you?”

“I’m gonna call Woo.” He nods, letting you go to give you some space. “Thank you, Sannie.”

“Of course.” He gives you a small, half-hearted smile. He feels terrible. He truly wishes Hongjoong would stop being so mean sometimes. It’s true; he does have a temper but it’s unfair for him to unload that on you for every little thing, every little inconvenience. You had been nothing but good and patient. Understanding.

“Yo?” Wooyoung picks up as you pack up your things.

“Woo, are you free right now? Can you come get me from Hongjoong’s?”

“Yeah, sure. You okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll be there in 10.” And with that, you hang up the call and continue to pack your things. Hongjoong and Mingi haven’t returned, and you’re relieved you don’t have to go explaining yourself if he were to walk in at this moment. Wooyoung arrives sharply in 10 minutes, texting you to come outside. You bid San farewell and hug him tightly, telling him to let Hongjoong know you’ve gone home if he ever asks. He simply nods before watching you leave, releasing a deep sigh as he heads to his room.

The car ride is quiet simply because Wooyoung can tell you’re having a bad night. The thing with Wooyoung [which is why he’s your bestfriend] is that he knows when he just needs to hold space for you and let you be in your peace. He doesn’t ask any questions, he doesn’t hound you for attention. He just lets you be the entire ride home. It’s not until you start breaking down again that he finally feels ready to ask, especially because he hates seeing you this way.

“Y/N, what is it?” Wooyoung lets out a breath when he sees you breaking down in the passenger’s seat. “Come on, let’s get inside first. Okay?” He says, hand coming to rub your back. You don’t respond so Wooyoung takes it upon himself to step out first before coming to your aid on the passenger’s side. He crouches to your level and unbuckles the seatbelt, wiping your tears away before getting you to walk to the apartment. He heads to the kitchen to grab you some water while you change and get into bed.

Wooyoung hears you quietly sniffling and crying to yourself, and he knows he can’t just leave you here like this. So, he places the water down, slips into your bed and holds you, telling you that things will be okay. To anyone, this probably would’ve looked incredibly wrong, and Hongjoong probably would’ve beaten his ass if he knew. But he doesn’t care; because Wooyoung will always do anything for you, especially after all the times you’ve dropped everything to be there for him without asking for shit in return. He cherishes you as his bestfriend and he will always put you first—

That goes to say, Wooyoung would never disrespect Hongjoong. He knows better than that, and if Hongjoong had a problem with him, he’d gladly talk it out and reassure him. Well, he’d at least hope Hongjoong was grown enough to do that.

But if not, then he thinks that's his own damn problem and his own damn fault for assuming and putting shit into his own head. Wooyoung has known you for so long that things like this— platonically laying in bed, consoling and being there for each other— comes so naturally. It doesn’t mean he’s trying to make a move on you [god, no], everyone knows that.

Except Hongjoong, I guess. It’s funny how he tries to flip the script on you when he knows exactly what he’s doing.

It’s kinda stupid, Wooyoung thinks. He should really know better after dating you for over a year at this point. He should really know better, period.

Right now though, you need him and that’s what he’s here for. He continues to quietly shush you and ease you to sleep, phone constantly vibrating and going off on the table. It’s not until he hears your soft snores that he carefully moves to grab your phone and attempt to turn it off, eyes glancing over Hongjoong’s texts and missed call notifications.

hongjoong: where are you?

hongjoong: y/n

hongjoong: assuming you’re with wooyoung

hongjoong: wow really, y/n? after tonight, too? of course you’d run straight to wooyoung

hongjoong: fuck this, whatever

Wooyoung scoffs to himself a bit, the audacity of Hongjoong for being so fucking upset over nothing. Don’t get him wrong. Wooyoung loves seeing you happy. It’s all he wants. And he loved Hongjoong for you. He really did. He thought you two were perfect and actually made for each other.

But, over time, he’s starting to question his thoughts, if he still stands in the same place he did a year ago. Because all this crying, this back and forth, nights of having to come save you; he sees you slowly changing. The light in your eyes dimming. Life slowly being sucked out of you. You aren’t the same bright, fun, loud Y/N you used to be and Wooyoung hates it when he really thinks about it. As the cherry on top [which Wooyoung also hates to admit], everything is becoming way too unhealthy. It’s the way that Hongjoong’s temper gets the best of him, the way all of your friends get involved one way or another. The way this will probably blow over tomorrow, and you and Hongjoong will go about your day like nothing happened.

What’s gonna be left of this?

What’s gonna be left of you?

Wooyoung feels his own phone vibrate, and it’s a text from Yunho. Granted, he kinda saw this coming. But again, he hates that this is what your relationship has become.

yunho: is y/n with you? hongjoong’s wondering where she’s at

wooyoung: where the fuck else would she be?

wooyoung: she’s at home, sleeping

wooyoung: had to pick her up cause she called crying after their argument

yunho: they fought again? over what?

wooyoung: idk but reading his texts, it sounds like part of it was about me

yunho: wtf why? i dont get it?

wooyoung: you and me both

yunho: alright well ill let him know shes safe and asleep. text me if u need me

wooyoung: thanks

wooyoung: also, tell him he can ask me directly next time. i’m not hiding anything, nor is y/n. bold of him to assume shit

He lets out a hefty sigh before setting his phone aside and slipping deeper into your covers, turning onto his side to give you some space.

When the following morning comes, Wooyoung wakes up to your hand on his arm as you reach over to grab your phone. He groans a bit, tugging on the sheets while you sit up and read through Hongjoong’s texts from last night.

“Fucking idiot.” He hears you mutter. As much as he wants to sleep in a little more, he can’t help but worry about you. So, he turns over and sees your fingers pinching at your bottom lip while you continue to read the texts— obvious the tears are building up the more that you do.

“Y/N, what the hell did you guys fight about last night?”

“It was so stupid.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that before.” You look at him and drop your phone, head resting back against the headboard.

“It started because Tara texted him asking if she could swing by for some company since her aunt passed. I got mad at him for it because I swear to god, she’s trying so hard to get back with him and he just lets it happen. I know he’d continue to help her and be there for her even though she has other friends she can rely on. Why does it have to be Hongjoong every fucking time?” You groan, tears already streaming down your cheeks. “And then he started attacking me about you, a-and—” You cry. “It’s unfair. It’s not the same, I don’t know why he’s suddenly making an issue about us or whatever, but it’s not the same and I thought he knew that. He was making me choose, saying I’d probably choose you at the end of the day and that I—”

“What a piece of shit.” Wooyoung says before sitting up and pulling you into a hug. “Nah, I get it. You don’t have to explain the rest.”

“It’s so stupid. Why would he say that when he knows it’s not the same? Tara’s his ex-girlfriend, why doesn’t he see it the way I do?”

“Because he knows he’s wrong and he doesn’t wanna admit it, Y/N. He’s looking for other things to pick at and blame. Deflecting.”

“I’m so done with him getting mad at me like this. I asked him to cut her off for a reason.” You pull away from him and wipe the remaining tears from your face. “I asked him to cut her off because she clearly didn’t give a fuck about me or our relationship. That girl knows no boundaries. She makes me feel anxious and I fucking hate it.”

“And you were right to do so.” You sigh.

“I feel like I’m never winning with him anymore.” You say quietly, defeatedly. “It just never feels like enough.”

“Don’t say shit like that. You’re doing more than enough, he’s just being dumb.” He sighs. “Are you going to talk to him?”

“I don’t know. Maybe later. I just need a moment to myself, I guess.”

“Take your time with it. Talk to him when you’re ready. Don’t let him determine that for you.”

“I know. Thanks for last night.” He gives you a small smile.

“I got you, always. And for the record, I know you’d choose me in the end.”

“Shut up.” You chuckle as you wipe at the stragglers running down your cheeks before pushing him out of your bed.

“Ow.” He pouts and whines. “Why would you hurt me?”

“I need to shower.”

“You should.” You smack him upside the head when you finally stand from your bed and grab a set of new clothes.

“Are you at least feeling better?”

“Kinda? Sleep did me well for sure.”

“It’s cause of me.”

“Wooyoung, I will—” He bites you on the shoulder with a loud laugh, causing you to yell and curse at him this early in the morning. Luckily, your roommate wasn’t home and was off at her internship. But goodness, does your bestfriend drives you nuts. Can’t live with him, can’t live without him.

Once Wooyoung leaves, you take a bit more time just to be in your own peace. You deep clean your room and the rest of the apartment, while playing some soft music in the background. Hongjoong’s call is what interrupts the music coming through your bluetooth speakers, sighing as you disconnect it and pick up the call. He asks if he can come over and talk, and you agree to let him swing by. You aren’t feeling 100% but you are feeling better enough to try and talk to him.

It doesn’t take more than 15 minutes before Hongjoong is walking through your door, kicking off his shoes and setting his wallet and keys off to the side of the dining table. He finds you sorting through some extra prints you’ve kept hidden in your desk drawer, your back turned to him even as he walks in and greets you.

“Hey.” Is all he says, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Hi.” You turn to him, setting the prints aside.

“Hanging up more?”

“I don’t know yet. I bought these awhile ago and they’ve been sitting in my drawer. I need to figure out how I wanna put them up.” He leans back on his hands and nods. Even throughout all the stupid shit you and Hongjoong have been fighting about, you still find him to be the most handsome, the most charming; it truly makes your heart flutter every time you see him. He’s in a plain white tee and sweats, hair freshly washed and still a bit damp. The tattoo on his arm is poking out from underneath his sleeve and it drives you insane how attractive your boyfriend is.

“Mm.” He hums. “Did you sleep well?”

“Slept well enough.” You look at him. “What about you?”

“I slept alright. Was worried about where you were at.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else but my place, Joong. You know that.”

“With Wooyoung?” You look at him and let out a sigh, crossing your arms as you feel the anger within you grow again.

“Look, if you came here to argue some more, I don’t—”

“I’m not here to argue. I asked a simple question, Y/N.”

“Yes, he was here. But I don’t see why that would be an issue compared to Tara asking to come over.” He licks his lips, but he doesn’t say anything. Just nods.

“She just needs her friends.”

“So do I, but you don’t see me leaning on my ex for that kind of company.”

“We were good friends before we even dated.”

“But you dated, and that’s the shit she’s holding onto. As with anybody.” You roll your eyes. “I guess you did come here to argue.” He shakes his head.

“No. Forget it, I’m sorry.” Is all he says.

“Sorry for what?” You hate that you always have to ask him this because lately, it’s been feeling like he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for. Like he’s just apologizing to apologize and move past it. “You do understand where I’m coming from, right? Tara’s your ex-girlfriend and I asked you to cut her off for a reason. Wooyoung and I have been bestfriends for years, and we’ve never been anything more than that. We’re just used to being there for each other and having each other’s backs. It’s natural for us. It doesn’t always have to have a hidden meaning, Hongjoong. Don’t make me choose because it’s not the same thing. Why would you do that? Why would you get upset at me for assuming when you’re doing the same thing about my bestfriend?”

“I hear you. I truthfully don’t wanna fight about this anymore.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I cut her off, alright? Told her she couldn’t do that and expect me to be there for her anymore.” He lets out a heavy sigh as if it was a chore to do, as if he didn’t want to but had no choice.

“Hm.” You hum. It’s not that you don’t trust him, you just don’t trust her. But part of you has also begun to wonder if you could truly be comfortable with his responses— if you could sit back and relax, take it for what it is. It’s complicated. Too complicated for something that started off so simple and beautiful. So beautifully simple.

“Baby.” He calls you as he stands. “Can you come here, please? Look at me.”

“Hongjoong, I just don’t know what to say.” He holds you by the waist, hand on the small of your back while he kisses your forehead, temple.

“Trust me.” He slightly frowns. “I need you to trust me because I would never do anything to lose you, remember? Baby, nothing else matters.”

“Then trust me. Wooyoung would never disrespect you like that and I thought you knew that.” He nods.

“Yeah, I know. I was just upset.” He kisses you on the lips. “I’ll do better.”

And since that moment, Hongjoong was better. Really better. The feelings you felt during the beginning of your relationship with Hongjoong felt like they’ve returned. Hongjoong was good, so, so good to you— it was easy to trust him again and feel safe. He worked on building a safer space for you after the back and forth about Tara, making you feel like he truly understood you and wanted this relationship to flourish like it used to. He cared about you, and he loved you.

Little did you know that this would all come crumbling down in the future. All of it.

The hope that this would eventually pass, that it was just a bump in the road, dwindled when Hongjoong had reverted to his old ways—

You should’ve known it wouldn’t last.

But it breaks you, constantly breaks you, because at this point, you’re convinced it’ll never change.

Not anymore.

“Wooyoung’s graduation party is that weekend. He had to push it out so his family could travel over.” You say, washing your bowl in the sink before plopping back down on the couch with him.

“So you’re not gonna come with me to Jisung’s graduation?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“Can’t you at least stop by then go to Wooyoung’s?”

“No, because I told his parents I’d help get everything together, Joong.” You furrow your brows because you already know he’s angry, even though this has absolutely nothing to do with him.

“Alright.” Is all he says, continue to scroll through his phone.

“You’re not mad, are you?”

“I mean, I just wanted you to come along for a bit. I don’t understand why can’t do that, but I guess it’s cause of Wooyoung.” He looks at you again. “I should’ve expected that.”

“Hongjoong.” You call his name with a certain tone, one that says you don’t wanna revisit this so-called issue again.

“What, am I wrong?” He chuckles, but there’s an obvious drip of anger, of venom, in it. “Do you, Y/N.”

“Why are you being like that? I thought you would’ve understood by now.”

“Yeah, I have. It was always going to be Wooyoung anyway, so what the fuck is the point?”

“Why are we back here again? Why do I have to keep explaining myself to you? It’s not that I don’t wanna go to Jisung’s, I just promised Wooyoung and his parents I’d be there.”

“I’m sure an hour or so wouldn’t hurt.”

“Oh my god.” You run your hands through your hair and get up from the couch, heading into his room. “I know that’s not what you’re really trying to get at.”

“It’s true though, right? You’re just choosing Wooyoung like you always do. You’re right, maybe I should just stop because in the end it doesn’t matter. I always put you first, I do everything for you and I always take you into consideration. Everything is about you, and you never do the same—”

“I never do the same?!” You match his tone. The disbelief running through you is unbearable. You’re just not sure how Hongjoong has the audacity to say something like that when you’re always thinking about him and putting your own feelings aside to keep him happy.

But you would never hang that over his head like he does with you.

“You know that’s not true! I appreciate everything you do for me, but you don’t get to hang it over my head like that because I would never do that to you. I would never make you feel guilty about the things I do for you, or make you feel like you’re an obligation.”

“You make me feel that way all the time!” He yells. “You don’t even realize how much you do.”

“Oh, because of Tara? So sorry that was such a fucking tragedy for you!” He groans loudly before hitting the wall.

“For real, fuck this. Count me out of your graduation, too. I’m not doing this shit.”

“Hongjoong, what the fuck is your problem? My own graduation?”

“I don’t wanna do this anymore, Y/N! What the fuck is the point!” He repeats. The words cut through you like a sharp knife because damn, you weren’t expecting that out of this.

“Okay, you know what, Joong. I’m not gonna keep arguing about this with you. Do whatever the hell you want, call me selfish, whatever. I made a promise to my bestfriend and his family and I’m not going back on my word.” You pack up your things and head out the door, not taking one look at him.

“Yeah, whatever. Done with this bullshit.” He slams his room door, causing the walls to shake.

You cried when you got home that evening, but you weren’t crying because of the shit he said, the things he pulled, no. You were crying because you were exhausted and you felt like you had nothing left in you anymore. You didn’t have the energy to keep fighting back, you didn’t have the energy to explain yourself. You shouldn’t have to, and you don’t want to.

Was it wrong to turn down Jisung’s graduation for your bestfriend?

When you said you had no energy, you truly meant it, and Hongjoong clearly did, too. The both of you hadn’t texted or called, let alone seen each other in those two weeks. You weren’t really sure what Hongjoong was up to, but you couldn’t think about much while wrapping up senior year and getting ready for graduation around the corner. Maybe the break was needed, maybe you two really needed the space.

You honestly would’ve thought this was the end of you two.

He manages to prove you and everyone wrong again when he shows up to your graduation, with a big bouquet in hand. Wooyoung nudges you when he catches him across the street, walking over with San, Mingi, Jisung and a few other of their guy friends [who are probably here for Yunho]. He’s dressed in a dark grey short-sleeve dress shirt that’s loosely tucked into his black slacks with black boots. Your parents catch him on their way over to the field to get to their seats, pulling him into a tight hug before pointing over at you, Wooyoung, Ara and Yunho. Your parents [or his] never really knew the extent of your fights, which is why everything seems so fine and dandy in their eyes. Rose-tinted glasses, glitter and gold.

“Congrats!” San yells, hugging all of you before Mingi and the rest make their way around the group.

“You’re here.” You look at him with a slight fondness in your eyes because even though the past weeks have been a mess, Hongjoong still makes you weak. He gives you a tiny smile before pulling you in for a tight hug.

“I missed you. I’m sorry.” He mumbles against your temple before giving you a kiss. “Congrats, my pretty girl.” He tilts your chin up to press a kiss against your lips.

“Thank you, Joong.” He gives you another chaste kiss to the temple before they bid their farewells and rush to the field, the commencement ceremony scheduled to start in a few minutes.

It was a hot day, but nonetheless, a happy day. You felt happy finally getting through college and graduation with your bestfriends alongside of you. Your parents and Hongjoong stand near the stage to snap photos of you as you walk across and grab your diploma, the crowd roaring in celebration. After the ceremony, you, your friends, their families and loved ones all take hours to take photos together before agreeing to eat at a nearby restaurant together for a small, but intimate way to close the day. You would have never known that things had gone awry with you and Hongjoong with the way he lovingly held you, kissed you, kept you close. Though deep down, it was still hurtful to know that this wouldn’t last. That you’d have to accept the fact that this was only temporary.

Hongjoong’s graduation followed the next weekend, and you ended up heading to Jisung’s for a bit before helping with Wooyoung’s party. Wooyoung didn’t really like the idea, and you had apologized for going back on your promise of sticking with him throughout the entire party. But it happened anyway, even if Hongjoong dropped you off to head to Jisung’s party without you.

As long as you were okay, as long as you had stopped crying and feeling so shitty, Wooyoung was okay. Even though he really couldn’t stand what this had become.

But if Wooyoung could save your world from crumbling just a little bit longer, he’ll do that.

Fuck the rest.

—CURRENT

“My birthday baby.” Hongjoong squeezes at your hips before biting onto his bottom lip, eyes ogling your dress and how it hugs you in all the right places, fits perfectly over your curves.

“Hi.” You smile up at him, hands lazily hanging around his neck.

“You’re so beautiful, love.” He says softly, kissing the tip of your nose before moving down to your lips. Jaw. Neck. You giggle in his grip, gently pushing him back by the chest. “I love you.”

“Thank you. I love you, too.” You smile lovingly at him.

“Ready to go? I think everyone’s waiting for the birthday girl to arrive.” You laugh and nod, letting him lead the way to his car.

You and Hongjoong had a good talk about your relationship and where things stood, being able to communicate properly about your needs, wants, giving each other space and letting the other be their own person. There was a tiny conversation about his current status with Tara, and he vaguely told you that they were back to being friends but he swore up and down that it was just.. that. He told you honestly that he wasn’t sure why he had to cut her off when there wasn’t anything going on between them, and that he felt like he didn’t need to. That you needed to trust him and he’d have no problem reassuring you.

So, that was it. And it worked well. It was a bit of adjustment at first, but you knew giving Hongjoong the space he needed was crucial— just as it was for you. You had stopped coming along to every single party or hangout back at home, only seeing his parents from time to time unless they visited Joong at his apartment. It was the same with your family; yet again, none of them knowing what kind of rollercoaster had gone on in your relationship during the past two years.

They just took it as you two evolving in your relationship, keeping things healthy. Alive.

They barely knew about all the nights you cried, you yelled, breaking dishes and cups; having Wooyoung come and save you while Hongjoong stormed off.

You suppose it’s better that way. In the end, you two were still growing and learning. Maybe.

You ended up renting a small studio in the heart of the city after snagging a job right after graduation. Hongjoong and San moved into another place of their own, while Mingi moved back home to help his family and work for their company while he continued his job search. Wooyoung also lived in the heart of the city, renting an in-law while he worked his part-time job and internship at a bigger company. Everything seemed to be going well for everyone, and you couldn’t have asked for more at this point. It seemed too good at one point, but you weren’t going to dwell on it; taking everything for what it is.

The club you decided to celebrate your birthday at is packed with people, but you’re able to easily slip in since Wooyoung, Hongjoong and the rest of your friends chipped in for a VIP table. The DJ was already blasting his music, while you and your friends were off to a quick start with shots. It didn’t take long before you were drunk and dancing the night away with everyone, with Hongjoong— sharing cute, affectionate moments in between. It’s not until he steps away with San to grab another drink at the bar that Mingi swoops you away and playfully dances around with you for a bit; this being the very moment when everything changed.

When your world came crumbling down in one quick, swift motion.

“Dude, to be honest.” Mingi lazily keeps his arm around your shoulder while leaning in towards your ear. “I didn’t know if you and Hongjoong would actually make it through.”

“We had our rough patches, Mangi. I wasn’t sure what things would look like either, but we’re here.” You smile at him and he laughs.

“I know, I know. It’s just.. he had been with Tara a lot. It was confusing.” You furrow your brows at him. “But, I’m glad you two are okay and back to being good. Like.. I’m glad he’s with you. I know he can be dumb but I’m glad it’s you. You’re good for him, sometimes I don’t think he realizes it.” You’re a little appalled at the stuff coming out of Mingi’s mouth, and half of you wants to blame it all on the alcohol. Though, you know you can’t because where on earth would Mingi come up with this? Shit doesn’t just form out of thin air.

“Uh, yeah. I hope so.” Is all you respond with before he pinches your cheek and leaves.

“There she is.” Hongjoong finds you in the crowd, another glass in his hand. “Taste this, it’s so good.” You sip on the drink and nod in approval.

“Thanks, babe.” He gives you a look.

“You okay, baby girl?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “Have you seen Ara? I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” His tilts your chin up.

“Yeah, I just really need to pee and freshen up.” He slowly nods.

“She’s with San over there.” He points behind you, where you find Ara and San flirting around like they always do. “Seems kinda busy though? I can wait for you outside the bathroom.”

“No Joong, it’s fine. I’ll be alright. I’ll be quick.” You give him a small smile, and he finally lets up with a quick kiss to your forehead and a quick ass-grab. You interrupt San and Ara, letting them know you need her to accompany you to the bathroom. She agrees, linking her arm with yours, but just like Wooyoung, she can tell something else is wrong. Who knows, maybe Hongjoong is onto you too, but you could care less because you don’t know how to confront him about this.

Nor do you want to on your birthday.

“My birthday girl! Are you drunk enough? Why do you look so sober?”

“It’s nothing.” She looks at you and holds you close to her side. “I just need some space.” Quite frankly, you just need her company more than anything. You just need somebody other than Hongjoong.

“Why? Did something happen with Hongjoong?”

“Mm, no.” You lie. You lie to her, you lie to yourself. You lie and you lie in hopes that it’ll ease the pain slowly seeping into your body, in hopes it’ll somehow make things easier for you to accept the harsh reality of your relationship.

Of your home.

“You sure? Do you wanna sneak out of here and go back to my place? You can tell me anything, you know that, right?” You nod. “Or do you want me to get Woo?”

“No, no. It’s okay. I’m just gonna freshen up and head back out there. Thanks for coming with me.” She smiles and squeezes your arm as you two move to the front of the bathroom line.

“Of course, my love!” She chuckles. “I’m glad you did because I didn’t realize how badly I needed to pee.” You laugh, resting your head against hers until a stall opens up for you two to squeeze in and share.

The rest of the night, you’re distancing yourself from Hongjoong enough so that you can still enjoy the night, but not keep him too close. It’s fucking painful to hear Mingi’s words repeatedly in your head, and even though you don’t have concrete evidence to back it up, you already know it’s not needed. You just know, and that is the worst feeling. And this— this is the same gut-wrenching anxiety that you’ve always felt every time she was around, every time you saw her name randomly pop up. It’s the same feeling in your gut, the same feeling that was telling you something was wrong,

Hongjoong doesn’t catch onto anything else, or at least, he doesn’t question you. Instead he has his hand on your thigh and showers you with kisses, oblivious to the fact that Mingi might have just knocked over and spilled his jar of secrets. The apartment is quiet since San is out grabbing food with a few others, giving Hongjoong leverage to kiss you in the living room— his urge, his need, evident through his touch, the deepening of the kiss, Hongjoong pushing himself up against you. But you break the kiss with a simple [but sad] smile, encouraging him to go wash up so you can follow. He laughs and whines a bit before he’s finally grabbing clothes and heading for the bathroom. You’re able to release the breath you’ve been holding, even though your chest hurts and you’re trying your best to not let this completely consume you.

The universe has different plans. Maybe, just maybe, it had been time for things to unravel.

A ding comes from Hongjoong’s phone, and you can’t help but glance at the screen. It’s Tara, but you’re having to unlock his phone to view the preview this time. You nervously navigate to his text thread with her, finding that the entire thread is choppy— big gaps in between dates, some closer than others. But, your eyes land on the first text in the thread and you instantly feel sick to your stomach.

It’s a text from about a year ago, during that summer when you spent with Hongjoong, with his family. The summer you couldn’t spend a second away from him because all you wanted was Hongjoong, all you wanted was to kiss him, cuddle him, keep him close.

The summer he bought you your favorite breakfast bagel and smoothie before dropping you off to go ‘home.’

hongjoong: do you wanna come over and stay the night at the apartment?

tara: yeah! should i leave soon?

hongjoong: yeah im just gonna be here

tara: i’ll be on my way!

tara: joongie i’m outside

hongjoong: meet you at the door in a sec

You feel your hands shaking the more you go through the thread, eyes welling up with tears as the realization hits and settles.

Hongjoong made you trust him, made you believe in everything he said. You put your faith in all his actions, thinking he was truly doing his best to make up for everything he’s done and said.

All of that going to waste.

hongjoong: you home? can i stop by and say hi?

tara: yup!

There is a huge gap after he claimed he so-called cut her off, but it doesn’t mean that the thread ends. There are other texts between them asking if the other is going to be at so and so’s house, or if the other is going to be at so and so’s party. There’s texts of Hongjoong asking if he can pop by and say hi at her place before there’s another big gap and Tara’s texting to ask if she can see him [spoiler: he says yes].

tara: are you going to channie’s?

hongjoong: yeah, are you?

tara: i’m not sure, i wasn’t really feeling it

hongjoong: go 😞

tara: lol why the sad face, isn’t your girlfriend coming?

hongjoong: nah shes not..

tara: ohhh okay, maybe then!

hongjoong: just go, wanna see you ☹️

You don’t even read the recent text because you simply can’t. You remember every single time he mentioned those kick-its, those parties, but not once did you ever think he’d mainly go to see Tara and vice versa. You toss the phone aside and begin to pack your things, fitting them in the bag you came with— not even worrying about how you can haul the rest out right now.

“Girl, I just got home from dropping Ara off. Please don’t tell me I have to slip back into my shit and—”

“Can you meet me at my place? Please.”

“Oh. Shit, yeah, of course. I’m already on my way.” He says, picking up on the shakiness in your voice. Hongjoong is still in the shower and you’re grateful you chose to drive to his place so that you can easily slip out and leave. You’re very much sober and at your breaking point; all you can think about is getting away as soon as possible.

Because the moment you step through your door, you collapse to the floor and start crying. Crying about all the fights, crying about all the times you let up and let Hongjoong get his way. Crying about all the times you let every little feeling, every little detail, brush over your head. Crying about how much you trusted him, loved him.

“Shit, Y/N. What the fuck?” Wooyoung immediately drops to the floor, arms thrown over you as he shushes you and tries to calm you down. He has never heard you cry this hard, has never heard you long for air this badly in between cries. It kills him and he’s not even sure how he can help you right now. And that for him is a first.

When you’re able to breathe a bit, you let everything out on the table. You tell Wooyoung what Mingi said, you tell him about the texts, you tell him about all these instances that you brushed over and didn’t think much of— when in fact, you should’ve stuck to your gut feeling and questioned everything. When you should’ve pressed harder, when you shouldn’t have trusted him so easily. And the realization hits you again because fuck, it is so painful to know that the person you loved for two years hadn’t really been there for you. That he was physically there, but his heart, his soul, wasn’t entirely yours. Probably wasn’t even yours to begin with. And you are so, so stupid for thinking Hongjoong was over her.

Maybe you were just the excuse.

The rebound.

The one he needed for his own selfish reasons.

It was never about you.

And Wooyoung continues to hold you and rock you, because there’s nothing like finding out that the person you invested in didn’t do the same back. There’s nothing like finding out the time you spent on someone, the amount of vulnerability, trust, emotion that came with loving someone for two years, had meant nothing. Wooyoung could murder Hongjoong right now, but that’s the least of his worries because Hongjoong isn’t crying his fucking heart out on a studio floor.

You are.

“I don’t know what I did wrong.” You mumble into his chest. “I don’t know why I wasn’t enough, Woo. How could he just do that to me? I meant nothing to him—”

“Y/N, don’t ever let me hear you blame yourself again. You hear me? This was not your fault. You gave everything your all to him because you were an amazing girlfriend. He fucked up, and he fucked up big time. This is all him.” Your broken sobs continue to echo in your studio, your phone now constantly going off from Hongjoong’s texts and calls. When he unlocked his phone to text you, he noticed Tara’s thread open. So he panics, and he panics.

Calling, texting. Almost ready to jump in his car and explain this even though he can’t.

But Wooyoung shuts off your phone and locks the door, telling Yunho, San and Mingi to tell Hongjoong to back the hell up. That he doesn’t want him near you, and that Hongjoong would know better than to confront the both of you right now.

It all feels like a blur, like white noise; static.

2 years of nothing.

Home to him might’ve meant so many different things; people, places, feelings. But to you, home was Hongjoong. Hongjoong has always been a home to you, everything about home. A home wasn’t a home without him.

But tonight, home looked a little different. Home looks like the empty bed you’re staring at, the dark room, the stillness of your surroundings even as Wooyoung sleeps on the couch. Tonight, home felt a little different, especially when you cry and feel your heart shatter to a million pieces looking at the cold, empty space next to you in bed, Hongjoong’s clothes from your closet tossed all over the place, ripped pictures across your desk that Wooyoung had to snatch out of your grip.

Because did you deserve this? All of this?

It was never about you.

Home was meant to be you and Hongjoong, but all the significant cracks in the relationship that lead to this, the one unfortunate blow that completely destroys you— every bit of you, everything you know, all the love that you’ve had.

Now, there is nothing left of you.

Nothing left of this home you built.

—a/n: ty for sitting through this very personal piece of mine; a reminder that you are beautiful and so, so deserving of the best love and happiness. ♡

—taglist: @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @hyukssunflower @everyonewooeverywhere @mcsalterego @persphonesorchid

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slyblonder · 3 months

Text

Sweet Treat

Friends w/ benefits!Mark x GN!Reader

(reader has afab anatomy)

word count : 0.7k

“Wheres my treat?” “Your what?”

You and Mark have been friends for a little over two years, but only friends with benefits for about 6 months. This all came into agreement after a very wine drunk, slightly stoned,bored mentality. You were attractive. Mark was attractive(and big). What’s the worst that could happen you thought and agreed.

You hate to ring your own bell but the dick is AMAZING. Going into this you would’ve never guessed Mark would have the stamina he did. Especially with being on the bigger side than most, he’d manhandle you with ease. Yeah you were gonna keep this going for as long as you possibly could. “If you keep doing that I’ll cum again… I-I can’t anymore.” You were practically shaking,overstimulated,and a sobbing mess as mark ate you out. He was too pussy drunk to care about your pleads to stop, taking in your sweet taste as if it was his last. His fingers quickly replaced his tongue as he looked up at you, smiling as how broken you looked. “Then cum baby, let loose for me.” Thats all you needed to hear for that band to snap, letting out the most erotic moan either of you have ever heard.

You both lied there holding one another as you tried to recover, shaking a little every now and then which definitely earned a small chuckle from Mark. “Dude I’ve never heard you moan like that before, it was pretty hot honestly.” You looked up at him with a joking blank stare not wanting to give him any satisfaction. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Plus I literally just stopped shaking, please give me like an hour before you get horny again.” You let out a small laugh and pat his chest before sitting up a bit and stretching. “I need to start getting ready for this event though. If I’m late there’s no doubt Chenle will kill me.” Standing up and tossing on whoever’s hoodie was at the edge of the bed, you noticed Mark staring at you blankly but not how you did earlier. This boy was truly perplexed.

“Where’s my treat?” “What treat?” Upon first glance you would’ve thought Mark just got told Justin Bieber quit music. He looked down heartbroken and couldn’t believe what he just heard. You like sweet treats and sharing them with people so you keep small bowls of different candies,chocolates, and other similar things in several areas of your home. Since Mark has been over so often, the bowl in your room had ran out and you never refilled it. After you both were done exploring each other you gave him one. Everytime. You basically trained and conditioned him. By accident at that. “Oh sweetie…thats-“ You couldn’t help but laugh and leave the room and come back with a melon candy. “Here you go baby.” Watching his face soften to a small pout was too cute for you to bear. “I thought I didn’t do a good job so you weren’t giving me a treat. Wait do you give other guys one too when they’re done if they do a good job? Did I do a good job? Wait are there othe-.”Before he could finish his list of questions you laughed and shook your head as you moved to sit across from him.

“You just fucked me, came in me, the ate me out until I came 3 times. I think you did more than a good job baby. And no there is no other guys, You have more than enough for me.” You watched as he listened and began to unwrap the candy. “Isn’t this like positive reinforcement like they use on dogs? oh my god you're treating me like a dog.””You know I do question what goes on in your head sometimes. No I’m not treating you like a dog, I just like sharing sweet treats with you.” You looked over at the bowl on your dresser and nodded towards it. “You finished that in a month. You’re here very often.” Mark looked over at the bowl and grew shy, he really was over often but he truly loves being in your presence. He does like you after all but you don’t need to know that right now. His eyes flickered down to your lips, suddenly growing a strong urge to kiss you.

“Let me share my sweet treat then.”

©️slyblonder

(Helloo thank you so much for reading please feel free to like a reblog pleasee I hope you enjoyed it🤍😞 im currently writing this at 1:27am(i wish i was joking) also feel free to request or ask questions in the ask box🤍🤍)

#nct smut #nct dream #nct dream smut #mark lee smut #mark lee #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct scenarios #mark smut #mark fluff #slyblonder

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wlntrsldler · 4 months

Text

now i see daylight | part i: don't you

song: don't you by taylor swift

series description: set after lust conquers all, jamie returns to richmond and takes accountability for treating you like shit.

warnings: language-- it's ted laso, what did ya expect?; mention of jamie's dad, misogyny, bff!sam, sad!jamie

pairing: jamie tartt x f! reader

word count: 2276 words

series masterlist | main masterlist

Working for AFC Richmond meant that strange things happened every day. Sometimes, you'd walk out on the pitch to find the team wheelbarrow racing, while the coaches stood and critiqued their techniques. Or sometimes you'd hear them passionately sing 'Baby' by Justin Bieber in the locker rooms before hearing absolute silence when Ludacris' rap came on. Then, you'd only hear Colin perfectly rapping on beat, and when Justin's voice came back, a roar of cheers for Colin's rapping skills followed.

Needless to say, there were so many strange things that happen at AFC Richmond that when a day is seemingly normal, that became the new version of strange.

But the strangest thing that has ever happened at AFC Richmond was when you walked into the locker room to find Jamie fucking Tartt smack-dab in the middle of the room, a million apologies on the tip of his tongue, as the rest of the team shouted all his wrongdoings at him.

Jamie Tartt is many things.

For one, he is a mama's boy. He loves Georgie beyond comprehension. He truly believes that the world's largest problems could be solved if people just hugged their mothers more often. His proof? All his problems vanish when he gets a hug from Georgie. Well, maybe not vanish, but they significantly decrease in urgency.

Two, he is a good football player. Scratch that, he knows that with the proper training and discipline, he’ll be regarded as one of the most legendary players to ever grace the Premier League. He has the potential to be great.

Three, he is a prick– a goddamn gigantic prick. This was something that he gladly accepted. He didn't come to Richmond to make friends. He came to Richmond to play some fucking football. He was fine being known as a top-notch, proper, prick.

This was true until he walked into the Richmond locker room and, hand to god, felt physical daggers being drilled into his entire body.

Jamie knew that coming back to Richmond would ruffle some feathers. Truthfully, if he was in their position, he didn't think he would've been able to walk through the front door without getting ripped to shreds. He walked towards his cubby, head hanging low, not wanting to stoke the flame. He could feel everyone's gaze on him. The locker room was dead silent until Isaac's voice echoed against the walls.

"Oi, Tartt," he yelled, "You have a lot of fucking nerve showing your face here again, bruv."

That started it. Before Jamie could even respond to Isaac, a million other things came barreling at him from different members of the team.

"You called me a jaundiced worm!"

"You hit on my mum, in front of my dad!"

"You cupped a fart and put it in my face!"

“I don’t know you, but I don’t like you!”

Then, the room fell silent. You walked in. Jamie stared at you, eyes pleading for you to spare him a smile like you used to. He twiddled his thumbs together, his tell of anxiety and doubt.

Ted blinked, finally stepping in after a few beats, "Alright, fellas, that's enough. I know emotions are runnin’ high, but we're going to have to find a way to work together. As a team– because that's what we are, a team. Alright?"

Murmurs of agreement, disgruntled agreements but agreements nonetheless, rang around the room. Ted patted Jamie on the back before motioning the coaches to follow him into the office. You watched them walk in and shut the door, unable to do anything but stand frozen in your spot, staring at Jamie.

"Are you alright?" Sam's concerned voice snapped you out of your trance.

"What the fuck is he doing here? Thought he hated this club.” You mumbled, rubbing your temples with the pads of your fingertips. Jamie hated the way that you were talking about him like he wasn’t there. Like he wasn’t in front of you, looking you in the eye. “His words.”

"Yeah," Sam replied, venom dripping from his lips. "His words."

"I guess you can never take Jamie Tartt's words at face value," you spat, bidding goodbye to Sam before walking away, leaving Jamie dumbstruck and alone in the locker room where everyone hated him.

Jamie knew that getting the team to accept him coming back to Richmond was going to take some time and a lot of effort. They all hated him– rightfully so. He’s fucked up. A lot. He was a prick to them when he was first loaned to Richmond. He said some nasty things about Ted to the media. And they absolutely had the right to tell him to fuck all the way off when he came back to Richmond after being the reason they were relegated. They could’ve told him that he should go descend into the shit hole he came out of and that every bad thing that was happening in his career was his fault. They could’ve let him become a “has-been” before he even reached his prime after he fucked his football career up by joining that stupid reality show.

But he knew he’d somehow win them over, eventually. Getting you to forgive him, though, was another story. The way your face morphed into a scowl, one that he’d only seen you use once and that was when Rupert showed up at Nelson Road unexpectedly, and aimed those words at him gave him the shivers. You don’t look at people like that.

You never looked at him like that.

–

It’s been weeks. Jamie has tried everything short of getting on his hands and knees and begging you to talk to him. He hasn’t even gotten the chance to apologize because you leave the room whenever he’s around. You walk away whenever he tries to talk to you. He’s even tried to get the team to help him.

Sam, who slowly opened up to him after Jamie proved that he could be trusted, tried to convince you to give Jamie a chance, which led you to ice Sam out for three days. Sam, who couldn’t go more than a few days without you, his best friend, apologized to Jamie and said there was nothing he could do. Jamie knew that if not even your best friend could convince you to talk to him, there was nobody in the club who could persuade you. He didn’t know what else to do, it seemed impossible. He didn’t want to give up, but it looked like the situation called for it.

Jamie’s eyes widened when he saw you walking toward the locker room by yourself. He quickly twisted the cap on his water bottle before jogging over to you. He called out, “Y/N! Wait up!”

You could pick out that accent from anywhere. You let out a sigh and did a complete 180 on your heels, walking back toward your office. The team PR opportunity can wait. You began to speed up as you heard him coming closer, but you should’ve known better than to try to outrun a professional footballer.

Jamie ran in front of you, blocking your path. You had no choice but to entertain his attempts this time. He smiled when he realized you weren’t making a move to escape him, but it quickly faded when that scowl overtook your features once more. His shoulders dropped, “Just wanted to say that I’m gonna stop tryin’ to talk to ya after this.”

You blinked in shock, eyes widening as you digested his words. Protectively, you held the binder closer to your chest, in case this was just a ploy. You stepped back, trying to make sense of the situation. After weeks of trying to talk to you, he’s going to give up just like that? Well, maybe it wasn’t just like that– you did avoid him like the plague.

He continued to speak when you didn’t make a sound, “Right, figured you weren’t gonna say ‘nything. Well, yeah, I just wanted to let you know that I get it. It took me a while to hear ya, but I’ve been talking to Doc Sharon and she said I need to start thinkin’ about what the people I care about need instead of always thinkin’ of myself.”

Your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. Jamie chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, “Yeah, ‘m trying to take accountability for my actions in the past and that includes how I treated ya. And how I been treatin’ you since I’ve been back. I keep thinkin’ about how much I miss ya and how badly I want a second chance with you, even though I don’t deserve it.”

“You don’t,” you replied, lips in a tight line.

“Exactly,” Jamie wanted to smile even though your words weren’t anything to smile about. You basically confirmed that he had no chance with you, but he couldn’t even focus on that because you spoke to him. You actually said something to him. He bit the corner of his bottom lip before he continued, “So yeah, I realized that you just want me to leave ya alone and I respect that. I promise to only bother ya for brand deals and PR marketing shit. I’m sorry if I pissed you off these last few weeks. This is the last time. I-I just wanted to let you know.”

You kept your lips sealed, trying to control the emotions on your face. It seemed that you succeeded as Jamie simply nodded and walked away, but not before sending you a friendly smile and a wave of his hand.

“What the fuck?” you whispered, suddenly feeling very hot. At first you really did want to ignore Jamie, give him a taste of his own medicine. After all, that’s exactly what he did with you after Man City took him back. Once he was back in Manchester, your texts were going unanswered, phone calls gone straight to voicemail, and any shred of a relationship that the both of you shared vanished.

Before he left Richmond, you and Jamie spent a lot of time together– maybe too much time. Last season, you were a sports journalist turned photographer because the magazine your worked for were misogynistic fucks who thought sports articles written by women would never garner as much attention as those written by men. As much as you hated it, you needed money, so when they offered you a job as a photographer, you took it begrudgingly.

Jamie, being the self-centered prick that he was last season, spent a lot of time around you, hoping that you’d take more photos of him to post online. He pulled strings to let you into their private practices so you could get action shots of him and a few posed ones, though he’d never admit it. Somehow, those “candid” photos are the only ones he’d post on his socials.

Eventually, you became a regular addition to his life. He spent time with you outside of football and you found yourself seeing Jamie off the pitch in restaurants, bars, parties, basically anywhere a famous footballer might hang out. Your relationship blossomed into something else. Soon you were a regular at his apartment, which you thoroughly re-decorated because when you first got there it looked exactly like what you would expect a young, hot, single millionaire footballer’s apartment to look like.

He complained at first, saying that you were ruining his top-notch bachelor pad, but you once saw him snuggling into the throw blanket you bought for him on his couch after watching one too many episodes of The Office. Some nights, you’d sleep over because you were too tired to drive and Jamie would insist that you can stay in the guest bedroom. You’d reluctantly agree. Those nights, the both of you would stay up talking about anything and everything.

He told you about his dad on the fifth night. You told him about your asshole of a boss on the seventh. He told you about how he was scared to get comfortable at Richmond because everyone in his life that he’s ever cared about, barring Georgie, disappointed him somehow on the tenth. You told him that you might be falling in love with him that same night.

The next, you found out he was going back to Man City and you never spoke to him again.

Until today.

You spent those months hating him. And Jamie made it so easy to hate him. That was the thing about Jamie, he played the part too well. You watched in disgust as he bad-mouthed Ted and the team. You watched as he showboated during the game highlights on the recap shows. You watched as he scored the goal that caused Richmond to get relegated. Those public displays of why he deserved to be hated just added fuel to the fire of why you personally hated Jamie Tartt. But now, you found yourself searching for that Jamie because he was nowhere to be found and your feelings for him were creeping back in.

“Did Jamie just apologize to you?” Keeley asked, emerging from behind the wall. “Sorry, I was eavesdroppin’, babe.”

“No, it’s okay, Keels,” you said, looking at her. Your face was flushed, “Yeah, he did. Crazy, innit?”

“I dunno, Y/N,” she replied, thinking about how she was going to phrase her next few words. “It seems like he’s changed. Seems like he really wants to make amends.”

“Cheers to him,” you rolled your eyes, beginning to walk toward the locker room once more. “The day I give Jamie Tartt another chance is the day the world ends.”

part ii: treacherous

part iii: daylight

#ted lasso #ted lasso fics #ted lasso oneshot #ted lasso imagines #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso series #jamie tartt #jamie tartt fanfic #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x yn #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt series #frances writes #frances song fics

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callsign-dexter · 7 months

Text

A Father's Comfort

Request: hey lovie

I just went through a pretty nasty break up (not because of him and I) and I tried to explain everything to my friends and some family what happened by they all thought I had done something wrong. The only person who had my back was my dad, he was the only one who would listen and told me it wasn’t my fault.

anyways I was wondering if you could write a maverick x daughter reader where she broke up with her boyfriend and tried to get some reassurance from friends and family (maybe just some of Pete’s old friends) but they just thought she was the mess up (maybe they were just extremely passive aggressive) so she just tried to laugh off the jokes. Maybe eventually Pete finds out through the chain that she broke up with the boy so he tried to go confront/comfort her and she tried to make jokes and in the middle of “laughing” she started crying. Then maverick just jumps into loving father mode and comforts her.

maybe the reader is like 16-17

thank you and 100% your choice

Pairings: Maverick x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: cheating, angst, fluff, asshole boyfriends, asshole Chipper, asshole Sundown, asshole Merlin

A/N: Hopefully you caught the Grease reference. I'm so sorry you had a rough break up and sorry I got this out late. If you need to talk my messages and asks are always open.

You didn’t know what happened. You thought your relationship with Justin was going great. You loved him and he loved you or so you thought. It was after school when it happened you were getting ready to leave the parking lot. You had just arrived at your Toyota Tacoma when Justin strolled up to you. You smiled when you saw him and greeted him with a kiss but he pulled away and turned his head so that you kissed his cheek this confused you. “Everything ok?” You had asked him.

“I think we should break up.” He said and your heart broke.

“What why?” You asked

“I don’t love you and never did. Besides I’m going out with Teresa.” He said and your face drained.

“How long has that been going on?” You asked now furious but still heart broken.

“A month after we got together.” He said and our eyes began to sting with tears. “We can still be friends.” He said and you didn’t say anything. He started to walk away but still close enough to you when you shouted at him.

“Lose my number and never talk to me again.” You said and he turned around.

“I’ve already lost it.” He said with a proud smirk on his face while yours was a frown.

“All I want to know is why.” You asked

“You’re too clingy. You never wanted to go further. At least Teresa is willing.” He said and then walked off and now you were truly alone. You got into your truck and drove home somehow not crashing. When you pulled into the driveway you recognized most of the cars as being Top Gun’s Class of ’86.

You parked in your original spot and killed the engine and headed inside of the house. It was loud and from the looks of it some of them had been drinking. You knew they were coming over for a cookout that your dad had planned and you were looking forward to it too until now. You knew you looked awful and you just wanted to escape upstairs and into your room. The plan was going smoothly until Hollywood saw you and smiled and went over and hugged you.

“Mini Mav! How are you?” He asked and you could tell that he had been drinking some but you were respectful and greeted him back because that is what your father taught you.

“I’m fine.” You said with a smile that didn’t quite reach your ear and your eyes weren’t as bright but he couldn’t tell that but two people could, Ice and Slider. They weren’t drinking as much because they tended not to and the thought of hangovers now killed them, when they were younger, they were fine with it but not now plus someone had to be a little bit sober while Maverick and Goose were gone to pick some stuff up and to deal with the rowdy ’86 bunch.

“You seem down. What’s up?” He asked pulling you into him uncomfortably and you nervously laughed and looked at Ice and Slider for help.

“My boyfriend and I broke up.” You said and got out of his hold by now most of everyone was paying attention to you.

“What happened?” Chipper asked as he took a drink of his beer.

“He said I was too clingy. He also cheated on me after a month of dating.” You said with your head hanging down.

“Well, were you clingy? Is that why he started cheating on you.?” He asked and you looked up at him with a shocked expression and everyone laughed but Ice and Slider.

“No, I texted him asking him to hang out but that is what boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to do. I also just wanted to know how his day was each day and text him good morning and good night. I also just wanted to spend more time with him and make plans and he never answered and I just send him ideas. He also wanted to go further and I didn’t want to.” You said in an exasperated voice. Chipper scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but they don’t have to hang out with each other 24/7.” He said and you could feel tears stinging your eyes.

“Chipper.” Ice said sternly not liking the look on your face and he looked at him.

“What? If she’s being clingy and doesn't want to go further, I know how teenage boys are, then I see why he was cheating on her.” He said to Ice and then turned back to you “Just a friendly reminder, try not to be so clingy next time and just go further.” He said and a tear slipped out and down your already tear-stained cheeks. Sundown scoffed.

“You’re being too sensitive about it. Just let it go. I don’t mean to be rude but it sounds like it is your fault that he cheated on you.” Sundown said and more tears fell down.

“Cheating on you was a surprisingly good decision on his part. If you were texting him all the time and wanting to hang out all the time, my girlfriend doesn’t even text me that much and I’m perfectly fine with that.” Merlin said and took a drink of his drink.

“That’s enough guys. You’re upsetting her.” Slider said and walked over to you and brought you into a hug.

“No, it’s ok. I’m just going to go up to my room. Oh, where is dad and Goose?” You asked, looking at him sniffling.

“They went to the store to grab some things. They’ll be back in like 10 minutes. I’ll let your dad know that you’re upstairs.” He said and hugged you which you returned and hugged him back and then when you released each other you started up the stairs to your room where you shut your door and fell face first into your pillow and began to cry.

Just like Slider said Maverick and Goose arrived back home and everyone had gone back to normal but Ice and Slider looked annoyed. Maverick and Goose put the bags down and then walked over to them. “What’s wrong?” Maverick asked, noticing that they hadn’t even touched the rest of their drinks.

“Where’s Y/N/N?” Goose asked, also looking at the two.

“She’s upstairs and you need to go and check on her.” Ice said and before Maverick could ask why Slider spoke up.

“She broke up with Justin.” Out of all the ’86 class Ice, Slider, and Goose were closest to the Mitchell girl “Everyone was passive aggressive to her. She took off upstairs. She’s really upset about it.” Slider said and Maverick nodded, pissed that the others would be so hateful to his daughter. They know better even if they have been drinking. Goose was pissed too, that was his goddaughter for crying out loud. He turned to Maverick.

“Go check on her. We’ll deal with the others.” Goose said and Maverick nodded and headed upstairs. He came to his daughter’s door and knocked.

“Hey, Sweetheart. Is it ok if I come in?” Maverick asked and waited for a minute.

“Yea.” You said in a quiet voice and he walked in to see you at your desk doing homework but could see your tear-stained cheeks and his heart broke. He went over and sat on your bed. You spun your desk chair and looked at him.

“Ice and Slider told me what happened.” He said

“They’re right. It’s my fault.” You began

“No- “He started but you cut him off with a laugh.

“I mean I probably texted him too much and that is why he cheated on me.” You said with a chuckle but could feel tears welling up.

“Honey- “Maverick said as his heart was breaking.

“I also didn’t want to go any further when we were making out and he would get annoyed. So why not cheat on me with someone that is willing to do something like that right?” You asked even though it didn’t require an answer. “I’m the stupid one and the one to blame.” You said slowly losing it and Maverick just sat there not saying anything and waiting for you to finish “Sundown is right I’m just being too sensitive and so is Merlin cheating on me was the right thing to do. I’m just a screw up and will always be a screw up.” You were looking anywhere but him. You were laughing until you weren’t and then you began to sob with your head in your heads and Maverick felt tears of his own.

Maverick pulled your chair over to him and pulled you into a hug and you leaned into him and wrapped your arms around him and buried your head into his shoulder. “You’re not a screw up. You’re a wonderful person and anybody would be lucky to have you, I know I am.” He said and tightened his hold on you. “You will always be my girl no matter what.” He said “You’re young and still have time to figure out what love is. Who knows the right one may be living in the house just across the street.” He said, hinting at Bradley but you were too upset to figure it out.

“Thank you, Dad. I love you too.” You said he brought you so he was looking at you at arm’s length.

“Anything for my best girl.” He said and brought his hands to your face and wiped the still falling tears with his thumbs. They say the only man a girl can depend on is her daddy and you found out that was true that day. You were glad to have him in your life.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@callsign-revenge

#maverick x daughter!reader imagines #maverick x daughter!reader fandom #maverick x daughter!reader fanfic #maverick x daughter!reader #maverick x daughter!reader fics #top gun x daughter!reader fandom #top gun x daughter!reader fanfiction #top gun x daughter!reader #top gun x daughter!reader fanfic #daughter!reader top gun #daughter reader top gun #top gun fanfiction #top gun imagine #top gun x reader #top gun fics #top gun fanfic #top gun fandom #top gun fan fiction

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strniohoeee · 6 months

Note

chris founding out reader faked an orgasm w/ him and asking her why she didn't tell him

Feigned

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N has been so stressed and anxious lately that she can’t focus on having an orgasm. When she runs to her best friend for advice there’s some listening ears….👥

Warnings⚠️: Mentions of sex

Song for the imagine: Hold Tight- Justin Bieber

Sex with Chris was always amazing, I mean it was INSANE. He could either tear my shit up, or be so loving and focused on my pleasure

But lately I haven’t been able to orgasm with Chris, and it wasn’t anything pertaining to him….or was it?

I was struggling badly to cum, I was wet and I enjoyed the sex, but I simply could not focus to allow myself to cum.

The past 3 times we’ve had sex I faked my orgasm, and I felt so bad that I couldn’t tell Chris. I truly didn’t want to hurt his feelings, or make him feel incompetent. This was my own problem.

Lately I had been so stressed with work, and creating content, and helping Chris and his brothers. I know that sex is supposed to help with stress, but my mind was always racing a million miles a minute. My thoughts were racing so much I couldn’t even relax to have an orgasm

I was alone at the triplets house. I finally had a day off, and they were filming, so I decided to spend the day truly relaxing

My best friend from back home had FaceTimed me, and I decided to seek advice from her

“Sophia I’m not sure what’s going on, but like I can’t cum” I told her

“Alone or with Chris?” She asked me

“With Chris. Like the sex is so amazing, but I can not cum for the life of me” I told her frowning a little bit

“Are you relaxed and in the zone when y’all fuck?” She asked bluntly

“I thought I was, I mean I’ve been so stressed with everything that I knew sex would help relieve it, but my brain is always on go I can’t even relax to orgasm” I told her

“You should try meditating before you guys have sex. Relax all your muscles and your brain, so you can enjoy it” she told me

“Yeah that’s true! I tried to shower and decompress, and watch some tv before him and I would have sex” I told her

“Yeah that’s not enough. You have to truly unwind, you’re so anxious your brain can’t focus on orgasming because it’s focusing on 30 different things at once” she said

“God you’re right. I feel so bad I’ve been faking it” I said to her

“How many times did you fake?” She asked me

“The last 3 times” I told her

“3 times? I think you should-“ all of a sudden she stopped talking and her eyes grew wide, I looked at my reflection in the camera and saw Chris standing behind me…SHIT

“I’ll call you later” she said before immediately hanging up on me

“Heyyy baby….when did you get in?” I asked closing my laptop screen

“About 2 minutes ago” he responded with no facial expressions

“Oh….” I said just looking at him

“The last 3 times huh? When were you going to tell me” he asked

“Listen it’s not you it’s me, and I didn’t want to hurt you” I told him

“You wouldn’t hurt me….it hurts actually that you kept this from me. I could’ve helped you” he said

“I’m sorry baby, I just have been so stressed and anxious that I couldn’t bring myself to focus on cumming” I told him

“Did you not enjoy the sex?” He asked

“No! I loved the sex it’s amazing. Its literally my brain just focusing on too many things at once” I said to him

“You should’ve told me, I would’ve helped you. We could’ve meditated together or done something else that would’ve relaxed you, and put you in the mood” he said

“You’re right, and I’m sorry. We should try tonight…meditating and then having sex” I said biting my lip

“You know I’m always down for sex pretty lady” he said licking his lips before leaning in to kiss me

The End

Hope yall liked this one🤭, and whoever requested this I also hope you liked it🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut

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finsterwalds · 1 month

Text

Got my hands on the script of Anatomy of a Fall, and I couldn't help but compare it with some scenes from the movie because that's how deep I am rn :'D Anyway, here are some of my finds and things I personally enjoyed. I'm sure there are more things to dig out but these are what I wanted to share with the world. The order of my finds will be chronological, for the most part, but keep in mind that sometimes, some scenes were edited to show up later, or earlier than originally intended. Spoilers for the whole movie obviously so you've been warned!

Takes place when Vincent first visits Sandra to discuss Samuel's death. In the movie, Sandra stops Vincent and cuts him harshly, saying "STOP, I did not kill him". Vincent then says a line that I think is pretty iconic in the movie, a sarcastic : "That's not the point. Really". His line is much harsher than on the script, where he's a bit softer. "You don't need to tell me that" implies that he has some deep, loyal faith in Sandra, while "That's not the point" cuts any further discussion. He really doesn't wanna know if she actually did it. Comes from a wish to remain blind still, but with less innocence and a lot of denial. Oh, Vincent.

In the movie, his last line is way better imo, he says "No one's gonna believe that. I don't believe that." I like the emphasis on his opinion rather than the fleeting and impersonal "it's really hard to believe". Truly hits way harder and puts Vincent back in the position of a lawyer.

The rest will be under the cut because I think it's gonna be a wall of text I apologize guys...... This movie does things to my brain.

There's a scene that was cut where Vincent phones Nour while still at Sandra's, which I would have enjoyed a lot but I'll admit it's a bit filler-y. Doesn't add a lot and kinda cuts the serious tone of Sandra's confession, imo, as they discuss the judge's antics in a pretty comical manner. I just love Nour so I'm based......

Another, REALLY long scene that was cut where a medium comes into Sandra's house to feel Samuel's ghost and foreshadows Daniel poisoning Snoop with aspirin. I had a good laugh at that one, honestly. It feels pretty out of place with the tone of the movie, and the personality of the characters even... I can't picture Sandra calling a medium. I'm glad they removed it because the foreshadowing was unnecessary too. It's still interesting that they had planned it however.

This takes place after Vincent finds out about the tape. Interestingly, his whole line was cut after "before he died". In the movie, he never comments on Sandra's affairs/sexuality. He never really asks much about her life at all. He truly is blinded by his wish to shield himself from her inner demons, in order to maintain his undying loyalty towards her. To see what he wants of her...

Another scene that was completely cut (a flashback, I believe?) where Sandra makes Daniel pose for a german photographer to make some money, which Monica dislikes, and then they argue. I think it really frames her as too unsympathetic, so I'm also glad it was cut.

Okay, so now, here comes The Big Change. The scene where Vincent and Sandra drink together after the first trial was heavily altered, because its tone in the movie is pretty tense when compared with the lightheartedness of the script. In the script, they laugh and reminisce together about the past and even kiss at the end of the scene. In the movie, none of was I screenshot happens : instead of playing along with the 'firing Vincent' suggestion, the scene ends with Sandra scolding Vincent for judging her in his head. Vincent backs off and the scene ends. Another instance of him not pressing emotional depth to shield himself.

There are other scenes I liked (many that touch upon Sandra's books) but I'll stop there. Hope you'll enjoy that... I might draw some of these so stay tuned... This movie has absorbed my soul but it feels good to be alive, thank you Justine Triet.

#anatomy of a fall #anatomie d'une chute #justine triet #vincent renzi #sandra voyter #not art #im posting it on my artblog because i wanna find this again and store everything about my lawyer era in one place #i didn't translate anything because that would take some time but hmu if you need a translation or if something's unclear #i didn't proofread this and my native language isn't english so picture a crazy frenchie going about their theories to you okay?#fits the movie imo

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starlitmark · 2 months

Text

Summary: Even after your heat, your boyfriends still cling to you. Pairing: Chinchilla!Wooyoung x fem Bat Eared Fox!reader x Fennec Fox!Yeosang Tropes: poly au, established relationship au, hybrid au Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: language, mmf Smut Warnings: sub!Wooyoung, switch!reader, dom!Yeosang, scent kink, double penetration, unprotected sex, tail pulling, male masturbation, fingering, dirty talk Word Count: 1,370 Host Tags: @sanjoongie @thelargefrye Note: continuation of my Secret Santa fic Before You Interact February Filth Masterlist

Listen to ♡ Collide by Justine Skye

Sometimes, you think that your boyfriends never truly leave their ruts. You just finished your heat a week ago, and Wooyoung is clinging to you already. Yeosang is, too, just in more subtle ways. Wooyoung shamelessly plasters his body across yours at any moment he sees an opportunity. He’s constantly kissing any skin he can reach and wrapping you up in hugs. Yeosang, on the other hand, lingers close. He places his hand on your lower back when he passes by; small things like that show that he’s also feeling some type of way. Normally, when San is home, too, he’s no better. Currently, he’s out of town for work. Wooyoung is capitalizing on that physical contact while your other physically affectionate boyfriend is gone.

“Woo,” you giggle as his fluffy chinchilla ear tickles against your skin, “Are you ever going to let me make my food?”

“We can order.” He muses, pressing another kiss to your neck.

Your fox ear twitches when he starts kissing against your scent gland. All of them know that the area of your skin is particularly sensitive. Wooyoung wraps his arms around your waist tighter. Suddenly, you smell Yeosang’s pear blossom scent intensify. You hadn’t even realized he was nearby. When you meet his eyes, you see how he is trained on where Wooyoung starts to leave marks on your skin.

“We have an audience, Wooyoung.” You chuckle, tugging at his hair.

Wooyoung lets out a whimper, “Sangie~” he sing-songs, “Won’t you have some fun with us?”

Yeosang steps closer into the kitchen, his pale fennec ears straight forward on his ears. They’re fixated on the two of you. You smirked as you held your hold tight on Woyoung’s hair. I watched his fluffy chinchilla ears turn, listening to where Yeosang approached. Your fox boyfriend places a finger under your chin and guides you to look at him.

“Your scent is strong, kit.” He notes, “You want this too, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you smirk, “Maybe we should have some fun in bed.”

Yeosang hums. He jerks his chin toward where Wooyoung has been relatively quiet, silently telling you to release his hair finally. You whistle at him; it’s a challenge. Yeosang’s eyes narrow at you and mirror your whistling sound. His whistle makes you grumble, but finally, listen and release Wooyoung’s hair. The chinchilla whines and stands up fully.

“You two go to our room and strip, understood?” Yeosang states, authority dripping from his tone.

“You in charge today, Yeo?” You challenge again.

His scent sharpens, making your omega nature crumble slightly, “You know I am. Now, do I need to repeat myself?”

Wooyoung is already on his way to your room, hearing how Yeosang’s tone darkens. You watch as his fluffy grey tail swishes behind him slightly. Yeosang chirps at you, pulling your attention back to him. You look at him briefly before you step past him to follow after Wooyoung. As you walk past, Yeosang tugs at your tail slightly, making you whimper.

When you step into your bedroom, Wooyoung is sitting on the bed, fisting his cock already. His tail flicks behind him. His rainy scent nearly suffocates the room. Stepping closer, you wrap your hand around his. Wooyoung’s pupils are blown wide when he finally makes eye contact with you.

“Want me to sit on your cock, pretty boy?”

“Please,” he moans, fucking up into your hands, “I need to be wrapped up inside you.”

You chuckle and strip before climbing onto the bed fully. Tugging your hand off him, you wrap your hand around his wrist, pulling his hand off too. You scoot forward into his lap and sit down on his cock. You both moan at the sensation. Immediately, you start grinding down against him. Wooyoung’s sweet whines and moans fill the room as he fucks up into you. Neither of you sees or hears Yeosang walk in. Even with your impeccable hearing and Wooyoung’s hearing, you’re so fixated on each other that it doesn’t even process.

“You two can’t keep your hands to yourselves.” Yeosang sighs, “You two already look like a fucked out wreck on your own.”

“Yeosang,” you moan, “need you too.”

Your fox boyfriend pushes his pale blonde hair back, covering his ears slightly for a moment. For a moment, you think he’s about to walk out. The moment Wooyoung moans out a strange amalgamation of both your names, Yeosang lets out a small groan. Yeosang slowly peels off his clothing. Even as you and Wooyoung desperately grind against each other, you watch as more and more of Yeosang’s muscular frame becomes visible. Yeosang climbs up onto the bed behind you. He tugs your tail, the tip of it tickling against your back. You moan and grind against Wooyoung more as he holds your tail tight.

“Stop moving for a while, kit. Your body is acting like you’re in heat. I’m gonna finger you a little bit and fit in right next to Woo, m’kay?”

You nod, “Please, wanna be stuffed by both of you.”

You sit down fully on Wooyoung, and Yeosang presses you forward against Wooyoung’s chest. His hand still holds your tail up while the other presses against your already stuffed pussy. A whimper falls from both your lips and Wooyoung’s as Yeosang pushes a finger into you. Once you’ve adjusted to the stretch, Yeosang adds another finger. Each time you adjust, you try to grind down on the fingers and Wooyoung’s cock. You kiss against your chinchilla boyfriend’s scent gland in his neck. The amount of pheromones in the room is nearly overwhelming in the best way possible.

“I’m gonna put my cock in now, kits.” Yeosang’s comment is directed at both you and Wooyoung.

You feel the blunt head of his cock pressing against your hole. You gasp at the stretch of both cocks inside you. Wooyoung is far gone. You wouldn’t be surprised if he is in pre-rut, thanks to the feeling and the pheromones swirling in the air.

“Feels– fuck!” You moan once Yeosang is finally fully inside you.

Yeosang leans forward and kisses your shoulder blade, “You feel so good like this, kit. It’s been so long since you’ve been stuffed like this.”

“Sangie! Kit!” Wooyoung gasps, “I think I’m gonna–”

Yeosang thrusts up into you, supplementing more stimulation for Wooyoung. The chinchilla hybrid allows a continuous stream of moans to come from his lips. You cling to Wooyoung’s shoulders, one of your fox ears pressed against his cheek as you pant and moan, not much better than the youngest of your three boyfriends.

“Cum when you want.” Yeosang groans, fucking up into you, “Fuck, I love the feeling of being wrapped up inside you. Having my cock pressed up against his. There’s nothing like this.”

Wooyoung lets out a loud, broken moan, and you feel his cum flood into you. It immediately leaks back out down his cock and over his balls. Yeosang thrusting up into you only makes the other’s cum leak out of you more. You feel Yeosang bite your shoulder. His sharp canines dig into your skin more than his other teeth. You spasm around their cocks as soon as he bites you. The feeling of both inside you, your scents mixing, Yeosang’s bite, is so much for you. Yeosang cums a moment later, his cum leaking back out of you, mixing with Wooyoung’s. All three of you pant and momentarily catch your breath.

“You both did so good, kits.” Yeosang praises, “So damn good.”

“‘M sleepy.” Wooyougn slurs.

“Me too,” you chuckle, “I know we need to clean up, though.”

Yeosang giggles affectionately, “You two rest. I’ll clean you up as best I can. We’ll shower after you rest.”

Yeosang pulls out of you slowly and lifts you off of Wooyoung as well. Wooyoung collapses back on the bed, and you curl up against your chinchilla boyfriend, who is already half asleep. Yeosang lets a smile grace his lips. He leans over and kisses both your foreheads. It’s moments like these that make him grateful for having you both. Maybe next time, he’ll have to get san in here, too, at least on the phone if he’s out of town again.

Networks: @monsterfvckersunited @cultofdionysusnet @kwritersworld @k-vanity

Tag List: @bratty-tingz @yeosangiess @minjaeluver @abbietwilight @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

#yeosang smut #wooyoung smut #mfu net #cultofdionysusnet #kwritersworldnet #kvanity #joongfryefff24 #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez smut #yeosang fanfic #yeosang x reader #wooyoung fanfic #wooyoung x reader

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starlightnorris · 9 months

Text

unanswered questions - charles leclerc

synopsis: the one where you run into your first love and there's a ton of unanswered question and a whole lot of feelings there.

word count: 1k

read part two

they say you never truly get over your first love. you believed them for a while, the first year or so after charles broke up with you, you were a mess. everything reminded you of him, from the places you used to go together, to the simplicity of seeing a car on the street. and it shouldn’t have hurt so bad, you were just teenagers, young love is always bound to crash and burn, but that first year was brutal.

but eventually you got over it. you moved to new york city to go to university, at some point meeting the person you wanted to spend your life with. it was funny, just how quickly your perception of everything changed. one day, it was you and charles together, only teenagers, but making small comments about the future. and you had believed that the two of you would end up together, but people change, plans change, and eventually, you move on.

there wasn’t a moment that you could identify that “ruined” your relationship with charles. it was just two people moving on from something that was once so real. it was weird to think about it now, you were 25 and that was nearly a decade ago. but there was always that nagging thought in the back of your mind that kept saying that if it could happen with charles, it could happen with justin. there didn’t have to be a big moment, one day he would just come to you and say that he didn’t feel the same anymore.

justin was lovely. talking about the future with him genuinely made you excited, but there was still a part of you that wondered what charles was like now. sure, you saw him on tv, and you still kept up with races, something your boyfriend took notice in. but he just thought you loved formula one, he didn’t know about the Ferrari driver who had once held your heart in his hands. but you didn’t know the charles of today. he seemed different, but he also seemed like the same boy you were in love with all those years ago. but that didn’t matter now, you’d moved on, even if your heart still yearned to know him.

---

“i think we should go out tonight,” justin says one day. it’s a friday, the two of you are already off work, both having left earlier than normal. “there’s a new restaurant i’ve been wanting to try.”

“yeah, that would be great,” you say, a soft smile on your face as he walks over to press a kiss to your forehead before the two of you start to get ready for the night.

you’re walking hand in hand down the street, a slight breeze in the air as you take in the area around you. moving from monaco to new york city was a big difference for you, being a place that was so small to a city that was constantly filled with so many people. but you loved it here, you loved to anonymity of being in the big city. monte carlo was too small, and when you were dating charles, people took notice of the two of you as it was becoming more clear that he was fully on his way to formula one.

but you didn’t want to think about that today. you were here with justin and as if he could hear your thoughts, he looks down at you, a soft smile playing on his lips as he looks at you. you could get lost in that smile and the way his gaze is so soft as he looks at you, so much love and adoration in the look. and it only takes you running into someone to take your eyes away from him.

justin makes sure to steady you and you mutter a “shit, i’m so sorry,” before looking up to see who you ran into. and you know that moment in the romance movies where two people look at each other and everything around them stops.

that’s exactly what happened when you saw charles in front of you. everything around you seemed to stop. you were in new york city, a place that was constantly busy and alive, and all you could do was stare at the man in front of you. you’d imagined what he’d look like if you saw him up close again, were there any marks on his skin that you couldn’t see through a screen? were his eyes soft in the same way that they were when you were teenagers?

“holy shit, you’re charles leclerc,” you hear justin say from beside you, but your eyes still rest on charles, and you can tell from the look on his face that he knows exactly who you are. it takes him a moment to tear his eyes from you before they move to your boyfriend and then down to where the two of you are holding hands and you catch a flicker of something… regret, maybe? but no, he broke up with you. he had full control in that situation, he doesn’t deserve to have any regrets.

“uh, yeah,” charles mutters, his eyes snapping back up to your boyfriend. “yeah, i am.”

they chat for a moment, but you don’t hear a single word, especially when his eyes keep moving to where you are standing, a lifetime of questions swirling in his eyes. “it was nice to meet you both,” charles says after a bit, and his eyes linger on you for a moment too long, and you want him to say something. you want to take the time to talk about almost a decade of distance between you, but he gives you a small smile, continuing to walk in the direction that he was heading.

“that was so cool,” justin says, a starstruck look on his face as he looks back at you. “i can’t believe we just ran into him.”

“yeah,” you say, but your heart’s not in it. instead, you’re thinking about years of unanswered questions with charles. you’re thinking about all the things you never got to say, and you’re thinking about why the hell your heart is beating so fast for a man you don’t even really know.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #formula 1 #formula one #f1 imagine

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heavyhitterheaux · 7 months

Note

how about readers friends judging her for liking baby jack and wanting to date the “wannabe rapper”

"Y/N, out of all the boys in this school you like Jackman?" Victoria asked while looking over at you. She didn't exactly turn up her nose about it, but you could tell that she didn't approve 100%.

You were currently staring off into space thinking about how the two of you were going to study later and then go get ice cream. It was Friday and the two of you would usually stay up talking all night in your backyard as you taught him all about space. You didn't know if he was into it like you were, but he always took his time to listen to you and make it known that your interests were important to him.

"Yes. What about it?" You asked as her, Blanca, and Jess shared a look.

"But why do you like him? I just…" Jess started to say, but you cut her off.

"I just love being around him. He was the first person I met when I came here and now he's truly one of my best friends. The blue eyes and curly hair are a plus. What's the big deal?"

"Not you crushing on the wannabe rapper." Blanca said and all you did was roll your eyes.

"He's really good. I actually think he'll get signed one day."

"A white boy from Kentucky? You can't be serious."

"People already believe that people in Kentucky can't read so what makes you think that they are going to take a rapper and a WHITE boy at that seriously in the industry?"

"We are only fifteen and he's only going to get better. And I help him write songs too. I know he’s going to catch the eye of someone in the industry and get signed."

"Y/N, as amazing as that sounds, I just don't think so."

"You three are supposed to be my friends and be encouraging and positive towards me."

"We are your friends! We might not know him as well as you do but…"

"Exactly. You don't know him as well as I do. I wish you three would take some time to get to know him and be able to see what I see. I really do like him and I like him a lot. He's the person that I spend most of my time with."

"We're just trying to get you to be realistic. And the friends he hangs around? They're a little questionable too."

"They treat me like I'm one of them."

"Exactly. So since Jack only probably sees you as one of the boys, do you think he likes you like you like him?"

"I think so. At least Urban told me he does and he tells him everything."

"We just… don't want you to get hurt."

"We want to look out for you."

"I'll be just fine." You answered while looking away from them so they wouldn't see you upset.

Just then Jack came up behind you and covered your eyes and all you did was laugh.

"Guess who?"

"Hmm, my husband Justin Bieber?" You answered and all you heard was Jack suck his teeth.

"Seriously?!"

"Are you going to sing my favorite song for me?"

"Now what makes you think I know any of his songs? Even though your favorite is One Less Lonely Girl… or so I've heard." Jack asked as he finally uncovered your eyes to sit next to you.

"Ladies." He said while greeting Jess, Blanca, and Victoria who told him hello in response.

"Because when I was sick, you kept me company as I kept playing it over and over again. When you get signed you better meet him and put in a good word for me so we can get married."

"Not if I marry you first." Jack quietly said and the only person who caught what he said was Jessica who got a small smile on her face.

"I didn't hear you, what did you say?" You asked him and all he did was smile and shake his head.

"Oh, nothing. Now, where did you want to go to get ice cream later?"

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fluff #first lady of pg

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ghostiiess · 5 months

Text

[NSB HEADCANONS] - them taking care of you when you’re pregnant!

synopsis: title says it all!

warnings: mention of morning sickness, vomiting, pregnancy stuff… some mistakes here and there

type: fluff

members: everyone

wc: around 200 by members? i think? so around 1.4K

not feeling 100% great atm, so im sorry if theres mistakes :((

reblogs and likes are very appreciated!

OLIVER MOY - the one who would support you by doing the tasks / giving you compliments during that period

The sweetest man

He would literally be the best dad, fr

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM WITH KIDS??? (Talking abt the members rn 🤣)

He would do all the tasks for you

And compliment you!

Oli would make sure that you eat food and drink your water

« And here’s for you, my love!!! Your favorite pasta! »

he would be soooo supportive 🥹

« Hey baby, I’ll take care of it! Go rest yourself, alright? »

« c’mon my love. Go take a break, I’ll do the chores! »

He’s literally the man we all wish we had in our life

« You look so beautiful with that baby dump »

« our baby will be so pretty »

« Do you think they will have my eyes or yours? Gosh, i hope they will have yours.. yours are so pretty »

OLIVER MOY, STOP BEING SO DAMN CUTE LIKE???

He would literally be the cutest man alive during this time (as if he wasnt enough sweet like that)

like tell me if im wrong (im not)

(Others members under the cut!)

SEBASTIAN MOY - the one who would try to make you laugh / smile

Listen…

This man would try to make the time less crampy

less painful too

Remember the video where he took the pregnancy test? He was screaming.

He knows you’re strong enough, and everything… but he hates seeing you in pain (even though its normal since ur literally pregnant lol)

So, obvs since he know it hurts, he would try to make the time less hard for you :( bc he know that the test and the pregnancy state is two completely different things

he took the pregnancy test and it hurted him so bad... he can't imagine it must be for you

But if he can make the time less painful by making you laugh / smile, he would do it

This man would buy flowers.

I just see him walking in ur house and being like « hey, here’s flowers for the future mommy »

Also, he would try to crack jokes here and there

Pregnancy jokes, even!

« Why did the pregnant woman go on a picnic? Because she was craving a little something extra! »

thank you seb for this joke 😐

He would also bring your favorite food / drinks 🥤

He would search them on google and he would be so proud

"im gonna be the funny one in this family"

He’s the energetic member of the group, but for you, he would try to rest and not move too much 🥲 like this man would, surprisingly, be calm (only for you, babe)

Seb would be such a good supporter too, although affirmations is not his first love language, he would be super cute. i promise you :)

RYAN NGUYEN - the one who would help you with ur cravings / the one who try to make you relax

He would judge you so bad for ur cravings

But he would buy them for you

Why? Bc even though he thinks its weird, he knows it could make u happy and make you smile

And him seeing your smile can easily make his day 😚

« babe, i love you with all my heart, i truly do, but… why are you putting bananas in apple sauce and yogourt…? »

But he loves you! (sometimes hes giving you a side eye)

Also… he would literally take care of everything

A bit like Oliver would do :)

« Babe, don’t worry abt it! I can take care of it »

« Need help? Alright, wait a sec »

He would quit his game for you in like 0.3844843 sec

« What the fuck just happened?!?!- baby? Need help? Yeah, one sec… alright boys, im heading out » (he would say smth like that)

« Go relax, my love. I can do it »

« Baby… stop overworking yourself! I know you can do it, but i want you to relax… you’ve been working all day »

Also, even thought it doesn’t look like it, he would be super supportive

He’s just more an ‘actions’ than a ‘word’ kind of person

JUSTIN PHAN - the one who would send you voices messages during your day to make sure ur taking care of urself and not overworking / help you with your morning sickness

Justin would be the type to grab his phone during a really important moment and just text you / give u voice messages

Although he know u love helping around in the house and doing ur tasks, he make sure that you don’t get overworked

« Hey baby, im with the boys at the store… do u need anything at the store? »

This man’s would also help you during the morning sickness

He just want the best for you 😁

Jp look like the person who knows when there’s a problem without you having to say it

« Hey baby, is everything okay? »

Like idk why but he look like the type that would read faces lol

he has this gut feeling, what can i say?

« Hold on, drink that glass of water, okay? Deep breath, baby… »

« Yeah, just like that »

If he see you vomiting, he would take ur hair up and pat ur back

« it’s okay baby, let it all out, everything's gonna be fine»

« if anything happen, wake me up alright? I want to be there for you »

Like for sure, seeing vomit is not the most aesthetic thing he saw, but he knows that it’s normal

KANE RATAN - the one who would massage you and listen to you

this man would be so cute.

I literally said that to everyone 💀 but it’s true

We all know how kane give good massages

This man know what he’s doing!

He probably took massages classes when he was younger, bc this man would give u the best massage ever

« come here, i will give you a lil’ massage, baby… let me knock out the stress away! »

Also, during the massage…

He would literally let you talk about your pregnancy, how the cramps are, how is it… or just random stuff haha

In others words: let you vent abt what ur going through during that time, because he knows its not always easy

« Tell me if it hurt, okay? I don’t want to hurt you »

Also, i feel he would be the type to ask this question:

« Do you think we’ll have a girl or a boy? »

« if im being honest, i don’t really mind if its a girl or a boy… as long as they’re happy, im happy »

« Do you think we could play anime music? Do you think it would make them a fan of AOT? Or we could play one piece!! omg baby, do you think they would like aot or one piece more? »

Not Kane wanting to make ur future baby (not even borned yet lol) a fan of AOT… such a relaxing and childish anime, wow!!!

DARREN LIANG - the one who would cook for you and kiss ur cramps away

We all know how Darren is a great cook

So I’m sure he would love to cook for you :)

« hey babe, i just cooked ur favorite meal! »

Isn’t he so cute? 🥹

The con is that he would judge your cravings.. like Ryan.

BUTTTTT he know it can make you happy, so he would obviously make them for you if it can make you happy!

Also, he would kiss your cramps away

To me, he looks like such a sweetheart when it come to pain or smth like that

« Hey baby, are you okay? »

« Do you want me to help you? »

A bit like Kane, dar’ would give you a little massage

« You’re so cute baby »

And he would kiss you 🤭 bc it’s Darren we’re talking abt!

also, if ur in the mood... its ur lucky day!! bc this man's always in the mood!

« Are you feeling a bit better? »

« Come and rest next to me, alright? »

He’s such a sweetheart, woah

REGIE MACALINO - the one who would go shopping with you for baby clothes / decorations

He would be the best dad ever, no joke

He would buy soooo many decorations and clothes, like we all know how regie has style, like there’s absolutely no way his son / daughter won’t have style too

And even if regie says « i put whatever i want » like okay maybe he do, but like it is styled in a way that i can’t explain lmaooo

I’m sorry, he just seem to be the type to search a bit in store, then on pinterest to see what would look good lol 🫢

I’m sure regie would be the type to search on Pinterest some baby decorations

Btw, your baby's room would be sooo messy, im so sorry

Regie would only look for cool bedsheets and fun decorations, but not for organizer bc have you seen his room?? Guys, it’s a bit messy im sorry

So regie wouldn’t be the type to buy organizer, BUTTTTTT he would make sure to let (try) the piece clean with his kid if it can make you happy

Regie seems tough, but he’s indeed a big sweetheart

He has sm love for us the star (his fan) so imagine for his kid-

He would be the cutest dad ever, like I’m sure regie would be there for his kid in all the ways he can

He would take care of you so so much too

He would be like Oliver haha

Sing for you, make you food, do the tasks (look how gentleman he is)… also, he would def make the baby like him more.. im sorry

taglist! (open! send an ask if you’d like to be added) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7

Olegie has my heart 🤭

100% recommand this man!

Bold can’t be tagged.

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greythemed · 10 months

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𓂃 ♥︎ⴰ bloodhounds . kim gun-woo

˚ TITLE 𓂃 ♥︎ⴰ how is like to date kim gun-woo. ˚ WORD COUNT 𓂃 ♥︎ⴰ 1775.

dating gun-woo was like listening to my love by justin timberlake but the difference is that he wouldn't ask you to be his love bcuz he's a shy boy and would act exactly like only by lee hi

holds the door for you EVERYTIME like it's not even funny how gentleman-ly this man is

first time meeting your family? gun-woo is bringing every dish his lovely mother is capable of preparing in one day because he wants to impress your parents so bad (especially if you come from money while he doesn't) like he is so scared he'll mess something up

LISTENS TO YOU! i think gun-woo would be a good therapy friend but an AMAZING healing-era boyfriend. like family issues? imma suffocate you so hard with my love that you won't need anyone else anymore babygirl.

late-night therapy sessions where you both trade one secret for one kiss because it's cute and vulnerable while laying upside down on your bed and w pinkies intertwined. and if something about the relationship (or smth the other did on the day) is bothering one of you, late-night calls are a MUST - no matter where you are or which time it is.

his only source of relationship advice are guilty kdramas he has watched during the pandemic (when he wasn't punching random henchmen lol) and woo-jin so expect A LOT of misunderstandings from this guy

like one time he thought it'd be cute to surprise you with flowers at your work because he saw it in one kdrama and wanted to do the same but completely forgot you worked at a morgue as a young autopsy so you were horrified for a whole week💀

buys you sweet snacks every time he goes out like it doesn't matter if he's BROKE, he'll bring something for you, and don't bother stressing he'll keep doing the same till eternity no matter what

miss here has a late-night craving? gun-woo is running to the closest store at the darkest crack of dawn to buy you your wish, even if you try to stop him "don't worry, love, i'll be quick" and proceeds to kiss your head while putting his green puffy jacket on and rushing.

honestly let’s talk about that. IT HAS TO GO AWAY. definitely going to be your first gift for him: A NEW JACKET. like give her a break gunwoo-ya, she's not goin' nowhere bestie ✊😔

your 'dynamic trio' is a little stressful at the start. i truly believe woo-jin would test the SHIT out of gun-woo's partner, no matter how much the boxer tries to prove to him you're no threat. like mister mayweather fan won't let you breathe the first time you guys meet, making direct questions like "what are your intentions with my babyboy right here? 🤨" or "if you're planning to leave him someday and brake his heart, i WILL find you"

super-protective woo-jin boyfriend mode is off the instant he finds out you're striving to be a doctor one day and help the world to be a better place and stars are starting to accumulate in your eyes while you talk. (he still threatens you sometimes tho).

after that the DOUBLE DATES' SEASON starts (because woo-jin also has his partner after all) and suddenly your group of friends consists of your boyfriend, your boyfriend's boyfriend, and another unfortunate third wheel caught in their bromance.

he's such a shy baby and you're such a social butterfly girlie so we might have some contradictions about where to go on date nights. like one week is staying in movie nights where you’re all cozy and gun-woo is sleeping at the first five minutes of the movie (“i swear it wasn’t on purpose babe🥺”) and the other is freaking museum rides and “i heard this new place at the mall is SO good we have to try it!!!!”.

but when it comes to physical activities? you’re SO done. like NO GUNWOO I DON’T WANT TO WAKE UP 5 IN THE FUCKING MORNING TO RUN AT THE BEACH WITH YOU😡😡😡. (he dreams of the day you’ll say yes).

watching? maybe. he gets all sweaty and sexy for you, i can imagine his partner just staying there in the corner wrapped in a cozy blanket and eating some snacks while he’s working the fuck out in the garage. like i got you bae don't worry! from right here🧍🏻‍♀️ . and he loves it.

absolutely adores praising, especially regarding his physic or gym evolution and gets all shy when you do it because “really? have you been payin’ attention to me?🥺”.

really values traditional corny-ass attitudes like protecting your head every time you get out of the car, walking on the side closer to the street, holds hands so he literally doesn’t lose you (it happened one time, you saw a rainbow-y burrito trailer and went for it without even thinking), ladies first always, pays for food when you get out or buys you flowers.

after he and woo-jin took their part of the money, the first thing gun-woo did was open his mom’s café and buy them a house just like mister choi said. he started working out more and working on his physic to maybe try and win one more tournament but he ends up meeting you and your father and meeting so many new people that wanted to take him under their wing 😊.

he literally had to pick which sponsor he’d choose to run for the belt. he got quite famous for jumping two categories in one year and from then on gun-woo made a few winning his pro fights.

he did what he loved so you supported him, biting your nails every time he’d take more than one round to knock his opponent out and cheering with his mom beside you in her new apartment every time the fight ended.

you’re so his passenger princess. this man will be moving mountains to do what you want and he’s so good at it.

on days when he’s more clingy and vulnerable expect this tall man to be glued to you. sometimes when you can’t be reached he will just call you to hear your voice on your break from work and straight hit the gym to soothe his anxiety.

in death’s anniversaries, he’d be the same. would stay silent the whole day if you don’t talk to him because it’s so painful to remember what happened to them all in one day. so you need to be careful and engage him in soothing activities or just distract him respectfully.

nsfw under 🤗

gun-woo is such a giving person and he wouldn't be different in his relationship. sexually speaking? this man doesn't know where to start. you guys end up having a real conversation about this because gun-woo doesn't know how to enjoy things where he's the benefitted one and only wants to give, give, give. its sick.

it doesn't help the man is fixated on eating you out too. like, honestly he'll die a happy man if it is between your legs. at first, you had to teach him a lot of things (you were basically his first everything, after all) and the boxer took that as a fucking challenge. picture that every night he'd be knocking at your door not even saying hello and going straight to business because "i want to do it right this time, angel. is this okay? am i making you feel good?".

*dies while writing this*

there is a gun-woo before ep.6 and another one after ep.6 and we all know it. but the thing he didn't change was his heart, right? so the boy that watched netflix kdramas with his mom after gym sessions during the pandemic while eating ramyeon is the same man that takes you to bed after a romantic date and not only DOESN'T rush you to do anything but also asks if you want him to sleep on the floor because maybe he'll make you uncomfortable?🥺 and he doesn't want that. (even though you've been dating for ages by now lol)

so when you glance at him asking “bae, what are you doing?” he is stuttering like “sleeping on t-the… floor?” “get your ASS back here mister kim imma teach you how to be a man😾”

honestly, he finds you SO funny that even during sexy time he’ll laugh at your jokes. like genuinely laugh and you’d consequently laugh at his reaction too and then sexy time is gone for the next 10 whole minutes till he shuts you up and goes back to business.

big boy up and down we've all been through that already, right? right.

sometimes it pisses you off that he takes everything so serious and it takes the sparkle away for you. but it’s because everything is so new to him that he feels like he has to be amazing on his first try and it infuriates you.

“you good?” he raises his head and looks into your eyes in confusion. “you’re doing it again, can’t you please just feel instead of thinking for once?” you question and his big round eyes make an appearance. “oh… i’m sorry”. and starts doing it right because in his head, that was also a challenge.🙄

gun-woo is a shy man. while i do not agree when i see people calling him a bottom, he’s not approaching you first babe get over it. gun-woo is the type of man that needs a little “it’s okay i want sexy time now pls” so his key is finally turned and the beast is unleashed. not saying he’s a freak because he’s probably a super traditional guy but you know what i mean.

that drabble i wrote? he needs your okay first to iniciate anything. my man could be busting his pants, fully hard n leaking and won’t even utter a word.

stamina>>> he's an athlete like c'mon

don't expect any replies from this man if you send him nudes in the middle of the day someday. boy will be BLUSHING the rest of his chores forever. and he won't have the heart to stare at you for a whole week if you don't approach him first.

you'd be all "lol you're blushing baby 🤭😆" and he'd be like "why did you do this to me?🥺🥺🥺 now i want you more for the rest of my life and forever".

you cannot say that this man doesn't feel like some of justin bieber's songs (specially company like ok i might have to make a playlist just about him)

i'm going to end this here and let y'all starve.

making a playlist about him after this for safety purposes. i could make this for hours and hours no joke, mom come pick me up pls i'm scared.

#kim geun woo x reader #woo do hwan #kim gun woo #bloodhounds smut #bloodhounds kim geun woo #bloodhounds #bloodhounds x reader #bloodhounds kdrama #bloodhounds netflix

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goosita · 4 months

Note

i feel like you have such great characterization of both billy & coryo, so I'd love to know ur thoughts on what kind of music each of them would listen to? probably in a more modern/current music sense cuz idk what kind of music they listened to in the 1870s or in future panem LOL 💌

ps praying either of them would like the smiths

oh coriolanus snow’s literal theme song is “please please please let me get what i want” are u kiddin me he would love that song so much and relate to it so deeply, especially pre-games coryo. i truly think like. early-mid 2000s poppunk would really do it for him too, like any sort of that type of emo music tbh. for the rest of his playlist for modern!coryo in my head:

tiffany blews by fall out boy

the river by good charlotte

i dont wanna be in love by good charlotte (lol)

the kill by 30 seconds to mars

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off by panic! at the disco

knives and pens by black veil brides

lips like morphine by kill hannah

help me by alkaline trio

exit music (for a film) by radiohead

venus in furs by the velvet underground

for billy i actually think going the country route is a little too on the nose, i think if he was into that it would be more modern but throwback-y stuff like tyler childers and orville peck. but at the same time i think he’s also the type to enjoy anything with a lot of Feeling to it if that makes sense?? some of modern!billy’s playlist in my head:

tattoos by tyler childers

sleep on the floor by the lumineers

wedding song by anais mitchell and justin vernon (specifically this original version and not the hadestown cast version)

hexie mountains by orville peck

talk and work song by hozier (❤️)

moving parts by trixie mattel

she’s got you by patsy cline

the devil wears a suit and tie by colter wall

roses are falling by orville peck

feathered indians by tyler childers

#anon #this was SO FUN TO ANSWER OMG #i love character music and playlists #william h bonney #billy the kid #billy the kid x you #billy the kid x reader #tom blyth #coriolanus snow #coryo #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you

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solarwynd · 2 months

Note

Seeing how HYBE continues to move for JK honestly makes me sad. I thought they'd just give up on their vision after seeing how he failed to blow up, but they are clearly determined to keep at it until they succeed, and how long do you think it's gonna take?

They are already winning with the mediaplay, convincing people that JK is the most talented and successful member and people just don't seem to care how he got that success. And his solos and Armys who bias him are truly the most insufferable; talking about how he's untouchable. When pjms complained about that recent BB chart placing Jimin at #21, they got so smug about it saying pjms thought they touched heaven with LC's #1 on BB but Jungkook went on to achieve way more than Jimin and now they're lashing out because reality doesn't match with their hopes and dreams.

They say the BB #1 is the only thing JM has going for him and his fans are clinging to it for dear life to make ourselves feel better about the fact that he'll always be inferior to JK.

It just makes me sad because it's clear that JM's success can't be compared to JK's because JK had all the privileges while JM received the bear minimum combined with sabotage from all fronts and numerous articles from his own label downplaying him to make JK shine. Armys are even bragging about that BB article about JK having proved himself to be the "golden" one of BTS.

Is this really how it's going to be? JK is gonna go on to become successful, well-known and BTS' breakout star just like that? No consequences for him the fraud Scooter Braun and BPD have been committing for him? And Jimin is forever gonna be restricted to the kpop bubble without ever breaking out? JK is gonna be more successful than him?

During Seven - GOLDEN era when all the fandom's hypocrisy was exposed about them dragging JM for the bare minimum vs. supporting JK's blatant payola, and more people spoke about him "cheating" with endless remixes and the charts being manipulated for him all while they are making sure to suppress JM and keeping JM from rivaling him on the charts, I thought that the world was finally waking up, that more people outside the kpop bubble would speak out against the disgusting injustice done to JM and that the investors behind HYBE wouldn't let something like this be done to their most valuable asset.

But I guess I was naïve, and I'm ignorant about how the music industry/powerful companies actually work..

It just hurts so much. I even have tears in my eyes as I'm typing this, and I can't express to you just how much resentment I hold towards JK because of this. Sometimes I wish he'd just dye. And I know that's a terrible thing to wish upon someone, but I can't help it

I want to believe you guys who say Jimin will always be successful no matter what, that he'll commercially break out eventually as a soloist and that Scooter and Bang PD's plans for JK will fail, but I don't see any of those things happening. Instead it's the opposite. JK is slowly becoming known outside the Kpop bubble, while Jimin seems to be fading into obscurity. And JK clearly has new things coming up and probably a few more collaborations with well known American artists, or will eventually once he's out of MS. It feels like it's only a matter of time before he does a collaboration with artists like Chris Brown, Justin Bieber, Zayn or Shawn Mendes. And what do you think will happen then? His career will most definitely skyrocket.

This whole thing has just made me so pessimistic about life. Does karma not exist? Do people who do bad things always just get away with it just like that? Probably two decades since Scooter Braun has been working as a music producer and probably for more than a decade people have seen just what an evil human being he is and what he's done to others, and none of these people have tried to come together and get rid of him?

I wish I never discovered BTS and Jimin.

“Instead it's the opposite. JK is slowly becoming known outside the Kpop bubble, while Jimin seems to be fading into obscurity.”

“It feels like it's only a matter of time before he does a collaboration with artists like Chris Brown, Justin Bieber, Zayn or Shawn Mendes. And what do you think will happen then? His career will most definitely skyrocket”

I need you to be so serious right now because the incessant pessimism some of y’all have is truly preventing y’all from seeing what’s real.

JK got “featuring” popping up next to his first name more times than his last and his biggest claim to his current relevancy/success is his inability to not latch onto western artists. If that’s what he has to continue to do for his supposed “solo” career to skyrocket why would I stress over that when jimin’s the only one out the two of them that’s proven he can stand on his own? Jk being a serial collaborator means little to me in general but especially when everything that you mentioned is due to the connections that jk has gotten through Scooter. Not off his own ability or initiative.

Referencing that random top kpop list is even more of a joke when you remember jimin (not jk) is still the only k-idol to hit #1 on artists 100. The real one. Not the one made up one by that rent for hire white kpop aficionado Jeff Benjamin. Like Crazy, a korean track has spent more or just as much days on usa spotify than multiple songs that were taylor made for the states, dropped by jk have. SNTY, a song released just this past November, is doing almost the same amount of streams as Like Crazy is and LC is almost a year old. And so what if we praise Jimin for getting that #1 on hot 100? That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Him getting that #1 is the main reason jk got dragged out that apartment to record seven so scooter could pay to get him his 😭. Plus armys are always gonna be full of it when it comes to recognizing the truth about jk’s career so you taking whatever they say or do to heart is a waste of your time.

Claiming Jimin’s fading into obscurity is objectively a ridiculous statement. Music wise after Angel dropped, Jimin went MIA and people still had his name constantly in their mouths the months following. All it took for him to go viral were 3 dance covers he did on a whim. Probably better promo for him than his own solo debut ever got and he didn’t need Scooter or Bang spending millions to do that. For his ambassadorships, he had people lining up in the streets just to see him walk in and out of a building for just for 5 seconds. It’s been 11 years since he debuted and 8 since BTS really blew up and he’s still the most relevant name in kpop out of hundreds of other idols.

I’ll always get the frustration of jk having it so easy in his solo career over jimin. I’m not blind to the disadvantages he’s facing, but some of y’all really need to stop acting like jimin’s solo career is a lost cause or doomed because of it. It’s getting aggravating now.

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seaoflove07 · 2 months

Text

Love Planted a Rose 🌹

~ Dark ~

• Artwork by The Drawables •

Full Art Cover and Story Description, Here.

OCXCanon. 🔪 Azusa & Christine’s Story. 🌹

Fan Fiction Written by Me.

Fandom: Diabolik Lovers.

⚠️⚠️ Self-harm and Mention of drowning. ⚠️

The Mukami Mansion. Friday Night.

- The scene starts in Azusa’s Bedroom -

Monologue

I feel sad and disappointed.

The Princess I've been dreaming about,

For the past three weeks,

She suddenly stopped visiting my dreams,

Since Wednesday.

I miss her beautiful smile and the way I felt,

When I was near her.

But who will want a piece of trash like me?

Now here I am left behind and abandoned again.

Even in my dreams, they leave me.

That's how my life has always been,

Since childhood,

And that's how it's always going to be.

Being alive truly feels meaningless.

At least sleeping was better,

When the princess appeared in my dreams.

Even if it wasn't a reality,

She made me happy.

I can breathe and move my body,

But I am dead inside.

Pain is the only proof that I’m alive.

- Azusa cuts his arm -

Staring at the bloody wound.

Azusa: “Justin… she left… you did warn me… this was going to happen…”

… …

“Please… stop laughing at me…”

(While Justin continued to laugh and mock me. I couldn't help to remember the first time I dreamt about the princess…)

Flashback

Azusa was walking through the most beautiful forest he had ever seen. Full of sunlight, nice trees, a field of wildflowers, and vibrant plants could be seen in every corner. He also saw many butterflies, bees, dragonflies, and bunnies hopping like little froggies. The air smelled like fresh flowers. As he kept walking he heard laughter and a flute from a distance. When he got closer to the sounds he stopped in his tracks. He sees three women dancing in a circle holding hands. They all were wearing the same type of dress, and ribbons around their waist, but each one had a different color. They had flower crowns on their heads and were dancing barefoot. He could hear a flute clearly but didn't see anyone playing it. Azusa kept watching silently. The woman with the long blonde hair, with the white dress and blue ribbon caught his attention, and he couldn't stop staring at her. She was a true beauty. The way she was dancing with so much freedom and peacefulness. She notices him and locks her eyes on him while still dancing. Azusa's heart starts beating. When the flute stopped playing the three women clapped and cheered. A minute later the blonde beauty comes walking towards Azusa.

Princess: “Hello, welcome to our forest. What is your name?”

Azusa: (She has the most beautiful smile he had ever seen…)

“Azusa… Mukami… what is… your name…?”

Princess: “It's a secret. Let's go somewhere else to talk. Follow me.”

*TimeSkip*

- They Arrived at a Waterfall River -

Princess: “Much better. The view of clear waters with the sound of the Waterfall is so peaceful. Isn't it beautiful? This is my favorite river. Here I spend most of my time.”

Azusa: “It is lovely… but you are more… beautiful… than this river…”

She giggles.

Princess: “Well look who's being charming.”

Azusa: “Can I ask you something…?”

Princess: “Sure.”

Azusa: “Can you please hit me… I'll take anything… it doesn't matter… how painful it is…”

She gives him a flirty smile.

Princess: “Do you know, Azusa? That I am the Princess of the water from this forest?”

Azusa: “Eh…? I see… It will be… an honor… to receive pain… from a princess…Fufu…”

The princess gets closer to Azusa, placing her hands on his chest and locking her gaze on his. For a moment Azusa held his breath, he was lost in her brown eyes that had passion in them.

Princess: “They say drowning is very painful… the struggle to get air. It amuses me all the time when I'm drowning someone… So since you want to feel pain, will you let me drown you… Azusa?”

He wraps his arms around her waist without thinking, pulling her body closer to his.

Azusa: “Yes… I'll take any type of pain... from you… Princess…”

She smiled.

Princess: “Good boy...”

Pulling his sweater softly, she starts walking backward slowly, leading him toward the water. Both still have their eyes locked on each other.

As they got in the water, Azusa gripped her hips hard. A little moan escaped her mouth.

Princess: “If you thought that was gonna hurt me. Then you were wrong. It actually felt good.”

Azusa: “Then we are the same kind… I knew it…”

She giggles.

Princess: “You and I are very different… you enjoy pain, while I enjoy killing whoever dares step foot into my forest.”

She pressed her lips to his. Kissing him gently.

“Are you ready to go deep in these waters with me, Azusa?”

He opens his eyes.

Azusa: “Yes… I'll go anywhere with you… I am yours… Princess…”

She gave him a sinister look.

Princess: “There is no turning back now.”

With a strong force, she pulled him down deep into the waters with her.

Flashback Ends

Azusa smiled.

Azusa: “That dream felt real… and… the feeling of drowning… felt amazing… Fufu… I will never… forget her…”

*TimeSkip*

- Christine Arrived at the Mukami’s Mansion -

Christine: (Wow! Dad was right, this mansion is huge! I can’t imagine how beautiful it must be inside…)

Christine grabs her luggage and walks to the door. The driver helped her bring the rest of her luggage and left them near the door.

Christine: “Thank you.”

Driver: “Enjoy the rest of your night.”

He walks back to the car and drives off.

Christine starts feeling nervous. She inhales a small breath and rings the doorbell. A few seconds later, a young man with dark hair and grayish-blue eyes opened the door.

Young Man: “You must be Christine-san, we've been expecting you. You may come in.”

She walks inside the mansion with her two big luggage.

Christine: “Mr, can you help me with the rest of my luggage?”

Young Man: “Mr!? My name is Mukami Ruki. Why did you bring so much luggage? I’m pretty sure you brought unnecessary useless things.”

Christine: (How rude!..)

“Apologies Ruki. I brought a lot of things because I will be staying here for three months, and I wanted to be prepared.”

Ruki: “Hmph… I see, very well. I will help you just this once.”

He grabs her other two luggage.

“Come follow me, I’ll take you to your room.”

*TimeSkip*

Ruki: “This will be your room. Next to the bedside table, I left your work instructions. Make sure you read it completely. You start tomorrow night.”

Christine: “Thank you.”

(I'm not impressed with the style of this room. But that is ok, I won't complain. Since I'm gonna live here for three months, I will style it to my liking…)

“Ruki, I don't see any other door in the room. I thought I was gonna have my own personal bathroom.”

Ruki: “What makes you think that you're entitled to have your own bathroom?”

Christine: “Huh? This doesn't have to do with being entitled. Mr. Karlheinz told my Dad that I would have my own bathroom.”

Ruki: “This will be your room and that is final. If you don't like it then you can sleep in the dungeon for all I care.”

Christine: “Why are you being so rude!? Are you one of the workers here?”

Ruki: “Rude? Hmph... You better be careful how you talk to me next time. I am one of the masters.”

Christine: “Oh, so you are one of Mr. Karlheinz son’s... I’m sorry for raising my voice.”

… …

“Can I meet my coworkers?”

Ruki: “Listen here, Livestock. It's just me and my younger brothers, nobody else lives here but us. No maids or butlers are staying with us in this manor. We do have familiars around that help us out with some of our choirs.”

Christine: “How is that possible? With a big mansion like this one! Also, what are familiars? So you're saying, I’ll be living here alone with just men!? Nobody told me this! Besides It will be hard to do all the work by myself and…!”

- Ruki pins her against the wall -

Christine: “What the hell are you doing!? Let go of me!”

Ruki: “You are too noisy! I should punish you for your loudness.”

- Christine starts pushing him -

He pushed her back on the wall hard.

Ruki: “Enough!”

… …

He takes a strand of her long blonde hair and strokes it.

“I wonder, what plan he has with you. There is nothing special about you and you seem like a shallow woman.”

*Sniff, Sniff*

“What's this!?”

He smells her neck.

Ruki: “Your scent… Is kinda similar to Eve's.”

Christine Froze.

Christine: (Her heart starts beating fast! This was too much! She didn't even know this man. His body was pressed against hers and he was smelling her! But… I should stay calm to not make this situation worse…)

Christine: “Who’s Eve? And can you please let go of me?”

He lets go of her and moves back.

Ruki: “Never mind about that. Make sure you read the form and get some rest. Tomorrow you start working here. Be on time tardiness is unacceptable. I may take my leave now.”

Once he left, Christine ran to the door and locked it.

Christine: (What a night! This was so unexpected, What plan was Ruki talking about? I wonder if it’s a specific job position that Mr. Karlheinz wants me to do. But why I have a feeling it seems like it was something else that Ruki meant. And who is Eve? I suddenly started to feel scared…)

- The Next Night -

Christine needs to get used to the night schedule. Before she came here she already knew that it was gonna be an all-night shift. The forms that her father gave her said that his sons are up all night due to their Night Academy. Even though they are now on summer break, the form specifies that they are used to being up all night and that they sleep in the daytime. Last night's incident with Ruki, still crosses her the wrong way, and the fact that she will be living alone with him and his brothers has her shaken up. She tried calling her dad to tell him everything, and she wanted to quit and go back home. But her cellphone signal is not working here. So right now she has no other option but to stay here until she can contact her Father. Right now it’s 6 pm. She already took a shower, and she's dressed for today. She’s wearing a flowy white summer dress with a pair of white flat shoes for her to be comfortable while she works. For jewelry, she’s only wearing her everyday gold cross necklace. She's headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. That’s her first work task. She made it to the kitchen and saw that Ruki was already there getting the food out of the fridge.

Ruki: “Ah… Livestock, good you are on time. I like that, Come. I took out of the fridge all the stuff you need. I also left you the menu. I will be preparing the table and silverware while you prepare breakfast for us and my brothers. They should be coming down in 30 minutes.”

Christine: “Sure, I got this.”

Ruki: “You seem confident, Livestock. You better not disappoint. Here, put this apron on. Every time you're working in the kitchen, I want you to wear it. Am I clear?”

Christine: “Yes, and my name is Christine not, “Livestock”

She puts on the apron.

Ruki: “I shall call you whatever I please. And why are you wearing a dress?”

Christine: (She so wanted to snap back at him, but she won't risk another incident like last night. Who knows what else he is capable of? So she needs to be smart and not cause any trouble…)

“The majority of the time, I like to wear dresses. Is there a dress code here?”

Ruki: “Whatever, and no there's no dress code. As long as you do your job well, I don’t see any problems with it. Now let's get started, we are already wasting time.”

Christine: “Oh, you will be working as well? Even though you are one of the masters?”

Ruki: “Listen, Livestock, just because I live here, doesn't mean I don’t do anything. My brothers and I all have our fair share of the choirs of this mansion. So stop asking questions and get to work!”

*TimeSkip*

Ruki: “Excellent job, Livestock. I didn’t expect a woman like you would be good at the kitchen.”

- Kou, Yuma, and Azusa walk into the kitchen -

Kou: “Wow, what a beauty we have here. Is this the woman who is going to live with us for the summer?”

Ruki: “That is correct.”

Christine: “Hi, my name is Christine Melendez, is nice to meet you all. What are your names?”

Kou: “I’m Kou Mukami.”

Yuma: “Yuma Mukami.”

Azusa: “Azusa…”

Christine: (Lavender eyes!! Like the young man from my nightmares. She starts to feel chills down her spine…)

Ruki: “Well, since we did the introductions, we can all take a seat now, and eat breakfast.”

Kou: “Woh! The food looks and smells delicious.”

He takes a bite of the pancake.

“These pancakes are delicious and fluffy.”

Ruki: “I have to say, Livestock. You did a good job with breakfast, everything is very tasty.”

Christine: “Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

- Kou and Yuma start fighting over grabbing the last pancakes and scrambled eggs -

Christine noticed that Azusa was staring at her, and he hasn't even touched his food. She also notices all the bandages around his neck and arms. The cuts on his face, and he had bad dark circles under his eyes. She wonders if he had a bad accident but she doesn't dare to ask him that.

Christine: “Azusa, is the meal not to your liking?”

Azusa: “I'm…”

Kou Interups.

Kou: “If you're not gonna eat that Azusa. I'll gladly eat it.”

He reaches out to grab his food.

Yuma: “Oi, stop being greedy and taking other people's food!”

Ruki: “Kou, manners at the kitchen table!”

*TimeSkip*

Her first night with the Mukami brothers wasn't bad. She managed to do all the tasks that she was supposed to do with no problems. She still wants to go back home. She tried calling her Dad on her cellphone again, but no signal, and the phones here in the mansion don't work. All of them were disconnected, the phones were just there as decoration. Which she finds fishy. She is on her way to the bathroom to take a long bath, and then after she plans to go to the Rose Garden. Ruki gave her permission to take as many flowers as she wanted.

Christine: (I admit that the brothers are really handsome, but there's something off about them. They give me bad vibes like there is something dark surrounding them. Azusa's lavender eyes remind me of the young man from my nightmares. I really need to watch my back. I'm very afraid to be staying here alone with four men. I hope I'll be able to contact Dad soon. I need to get out of here as soon as possible…)

— TO BE CONTINUED —

(Prologue)