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15-dogs · 3 years

Note

can you write about sirus (you’re dating) and you get the death mark even thougjt you didn’t want to (a draco-like situation) and she pulls away from everyone because shes scared and sirius finds out and helps her

fixing a hole |s.b.|

pairing: young!sirius black x fem!reader

summary: you realize that things for sirius black don’t always work out the same for you

warnings: food mention, implied depression, isolation (if there’s anything you want me to add don’t hesitate to message me!)

guide: (Y/N) = your name, (Y/L/N) = your last name, (Y/N/N) = your nickname, italics = flashback

word count: 2.6K

a/n: I wanted to give a little context so I started a little earlier than you and him dating I hope that’s ok!! this is a little like fluff to angst to hurt/comfort ish?? it does have some topics that could be difficult so be mindful of the warnings and I hope you like it!!

Everyone in your family talked about Sirius and Regulus Black. It was a well known fact that Sirius had run away from the family to live with those blood traitor Potters, deserting his position as a soldier to the Dark Lord. Sirius’s name was a dirty word in your family, like poison that dripped from the tongues of your predecessors.

Regulus was a godsend. Your parents would constantly talk about him. They had even mentioned you marrying into his family a few times. The command would send shivers down your spine and you weren’t sure why. This is what you wanted, this is what you’ve always wanted.

Then why couldn’t you stop thinking about Sirius Black?

You’d get distracted during classes just staring at his simple elegance. He had these strong hands that you would study as he wrote an essay in class, wondering if they were soft or rough, if they were firm or gentle, if they would fit perfectly in yours. Your eyes would glaze over as you would divulge into your imagination, imagining his arms wrapping around you and pulling you tight against him.

“Control your perverted fantasies, (Y/L/N),” Severus scolded. His eyes never once left his paper as he continued to reprimand your behavior. “Don’t deny the fact that you were staring at Black. Learn to manage those feelings.”

You scowled at the boy who you had once considered a close friend. He had no right to talk to you the way he did, seeing as he was the one who was in love with Lily Evans. He was simply bitter. Bitter at Evans, and Potter, and Black. Bitter at the lot of them just because he made bad decisions.

The more you thought about his actions, the more you feared you were to become him. But that wasn’t it. Not really, anyway. You were more concerned that everyone thought that you were like him. And by everyone, you really meant Sirius Black.

You chanced a look at the raven haired boy, until to find him staring back at you. Your heart froze over as his gray eyes were trained on your body. But then a fleet of butterflies occupied your stomach as he gave you a kind and genuine smile, waving gently at you. Potter knocked his hand down a moment later, whispering something to his friend. You took the small opportunity to stray your eyes from the boy that you undoubtedly fancied, hoping your cheeks weren’t as red as they felt.

In Divination later that day, you and Sirius were partnered up to read each other’s palms. Your hands were sweating, you were sure of it. You debated the consequences of wiping your hands off on your robes but decided against it, fearing it would lead to a risky line of questioning from the boy across from you.

“I have to be entirely honest with you, (Y/N),” Sirius began. Your heart sped in your chest as you stared at him with wide eyes. “I haven’t been doing the notes. What exactly is...palmistry?”

You cleared your throat awkwardly and shifted in your seat to avoid his piercing gaze. “Palm reading.”

A wicked grin crept onto his face. “And I get to read your palm?”

“Yes.”

“Finally, an opportunity to hold your hand.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. Sirius could see it, too. He could see how flustered his comment made you. But the longer you thought about it, the more you recalled how he always acted like that towards you.

Before Sirius left his family, you used to spend time with him. Not in a friendly way, but in a we’re-the-same-age-at-this-dinner-party-that-our-parents-made-us-go-to kind of way. He would always make gentle comments like that one. Nothing too crude, just enough to make your stomach turn. Although, the idea of him being crude to you thrilled you a little, but you’d never admit it to him.

“Hand, princess.” Sirius outstretched a hand to you, yanking yours by the wrist into his field of vision.

You always blushed when he called you princess. You were an only child, and most pureblood families lived in a sea of boys so Sirius knew you as one of the very few pureblood girls (that he wasn’t related to) he used to spend time with. He’d call you princess because that’s what you were: a pureblood princess.

You rolled your eyes at his gruffness, pretending that you were affected by it. Sirius flipped open the textbook and spotted a diagram of a hand, glancing between that and your palm in front of him.

“This looks like your...head line.” He traced a finger across your palm which had you shivering; his hands were most definitely rough.

“And?”

His eyes snapped up to yours. “And what?”

“What does it say, Black?” Your tone was borderline irritated but you knew you couldn’t be mad at Sirius. Not when he looked at you like a wounded puppy.

“What do you mean what does it say? Aren’t we supposed to be identifying the parts of the palm?”

You stifled a laugh and playfully kicked the boy in the shins. “No, you idiot, read my palm!”

“Alright, alright, okay!”

You furrowed your brow slightly, a smile still on your face; you were positive that Sirius Black was blushing. It was a good look on him.

“Your head line” —he looked up at you for confirmation, to which you nodded— “says you can’t get me out of your head.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “It does not-”

He silenced you with another stroke across your palm. “Your life line says you want to spend the rest of your life with me— how romantic.”

“That’s just cheesy-”

“Your heart line says you desperately, desperately want me.”

“Impossible-”

“And your fate line says that we’re destined to go on a date to Hogsmeade this weekend.”

You blinked in shock. Your eyes darted around the room, expecting to hear someone gossiping about what Sirius had been saying. But you were simply being paranoid, and you knew it, too.

You leaned in slightly towards him, faltering as his musky cologne hit your senses. “Is that a joke? If it is, it isn’t very funny.”

You tried to lean away when he didn’t respond, feeling shame boil up in your stomach when he utilized the grip on your wrist, yanking you towards him so his breath was hot on your ear.

“No, princess,” he growled lowly in your ear, a devilish smirk on his lips, “I’m serious.”

—

From that point forward, Sirius and you were inseparable. Well, to an extent. Your relationship was a secret, the only people having known were James, Remus, and Peter at Sirius’s request. He understood the importance of hiding your relationship, seeing how he was the trademark blood traitor and all. So that was that, no one could know that you were falling in love with Sirius Black.

One of the very few places you convened for dates— or even just to spend some time together— was the illusive Room of Requirement. It opened for you one day as you wandered the halls, head cloudy with decisions that needed to be made about yours and Sirius’s relationship. Ultimately, it convinced you that you and Sirius could work together as a hidden couple, so you decided to continue things with the boy that you had admittedly grown quite fond of.

The door appeared and the room was slightly different this time, that of which had you on edge because you knew that you had come to talk to Sirius about a certain decision that he had made. So that’s exactly where you were, the room that fostered it all, cuddling up against your boyfriend’s chest as he recounted the memories of leaving his home.

Sirius’s hand ran its course up and down the side of your arm as he talked about showing up at the Potter’s familial home. “I was scared, of course, that they wouldn’t take me in. But they did, and I should’ve known that they would-”

What you said next was purely accidental. You didn’t mean to tell him in this hurried way, but you did. It was like the hours of listening could only fit in your head if you let one piece of information go; an eye for an eye. That was the sentiment that propelled you to say, “I’m thinking of moving out.”

Sirius’ movements stopped instantly. He craned his neck to meet your watery eyes, almost to check if what you said was sincere. He knew how much you hated your family, and how that hatred had bloomed and blossomed throughout the years but never did he expect you to say such definitive words.

“Do you know what you’re saying?” he asked carefully like his words would shatter you, if not drive the chisel further through your cracks.

“I do.” You sat up out of his grasp, leaning against the armrest on the couch which you two sat upon. “You did it, and I want out. I’m going to do it, too.”

He reached up to cup your cheeks, directing your line of sight to align with his. “Love, what’s going on?” You noticed his eyes flicker towards your wrist, sending your stomach tumbling. “Did they…?”

You jerked away from him. “They want to, so I want out.”

Sirius took a few sobering breaths before settling back onto the other end of the couch. He ran his hands over the worn fabric as he studied you like it was the last time he’d be able to see you. He ran a hand over his face as he sighed, “How can I help?”

—

Things did not go according to plan. You and Sirius had figured that you would escape in the middle of the night during winter break and meet him at the Potter’s home. But things went sour quickly.

You rarely showed strong emotions, feeling that you could keep them intact. But right then, you couldn’t. All the fear and anger had sat inside you for too long and you couldn’t help but cry and rage and scream and sob in the comforts of the Room of Requirement.

“I’m asking you to be quiet, Ebbol!”

“Master Veritas! Master Treagar! I fear that Master (Y/N) is attempting to escape! Masters? Masters!”

You felt that you were flush out of tears, but that emptiness still sat inside you. As you sat on the couch, your eyes unfocusing as your mind narrowed in on that hole. The emptiness hurt. You wanted it gone, or at least wanted something to fill it. Even a temporary fix would do. Just something to stop the pain.

“No, no! Please, mother, please! I swear, I wasn’t…”

You stood up a moment later, clenching your eyes shut as if that would hide the horrors that replayed relentlessly in your head. You wiped your tears away, taking out your wand to place a glamour charm that would hide your puffy eyes and pale lips.

You snuck out and walked to your first class, skipping breakfast because you truly didn’t think that you could stomach it. Your eyes could only focus on what was ahead of you, which is why you didn’t see Sirius jogging up beside you.

“Hey...hey! (Y/N/N), are you okay?”

His words were dull in your ears. You blinked slightly before shrugging out of his grasp on your arm, walking into the classroom ahead.

“You didn’t show up,” Sirius continued as he followed you in. “Are you okay?”

You felt sick bubbling up in your throat and you couldn’t continue talking to him any longer. Every second that you did, you were reminded of who you were: a pureblood princess.

“Go away,” you sneered shakily.

Sirius knew better than to argue with you so he shuffled back to his seat, stealing hurt glances at you every few seconds. Not that you could notice with that ache on your wrist. That was too powerful to focus on anything else.

—

You spent most of your time in the Room of Requirement. It became a second home to you if it wasn’t before. You knew that you couldn’t go back to your common room, knowing that all the eyes on you would make you feel sicker than you had before.

Your emptiness had swallowed you whole. You would stare, you would sleep, you would wake. Nightmares had taken a toll on that cycle, removing the sleeping portion. For a while you had debated brewing your own sleeping draught but you soon realized you couldn’t, barely having enough energy to get out of bed and attend classes each day. Some days, you skipped classes all together.

Sirius noticed your gaunt face and sunken eyes. He had seen you pull away and seal yourself off from everyone— especially him. He wasn’t really sure what your relationship was anymore, but it didn’t matter. He cared about you. Deeply, at that. Lover or friend.

You didn’t turn around as you heard the groaning of the old stones moving to welcome the familiar door. The door opened slowly and quiet footsteps padded in. The couch sunk slightly beside you, and it was only then that you looked up. Sirius jumped at the sight of your face without all the protective beauty charms covering it.

“Merlin, (Y/N), you look ill. When was the last time you ate something?”

You slowly turned away from him. “I...I don’t remember.” You didn’t have the energy to be mad at him, or feel anything towards him, for that matter.

“I brought some chocolate,” he explained as she rifled through the pockets of his leather jacket. “It’s from Moony’s stash. He let me take some for you.”

You absentmindedly took the chocolate, peeling away at the wrapper and biting down gently. As you chewed on the chocolate, Sirius patiently waited for you to speak up. You knew why he was there. You had dreamt about it going quite badly, but you had dreamt about it, nonetheless. You had to tell him. You had no choice.

So, without speaking, you set the chocolate bar down and raised your sleeve to reveal the Dark Mark on your left forearm. He jumped up from the couch, running his hands through his hair.

“I knew it, I knew it,” he mumbled to himself. “Those sick bastards.”

“I can’t get it off, Sirius. I tried charms to hide it, even muggle makeup. Nothing works.” Your voice turned shaky as you looked up at Sirius.

His pacing stopped and he sank down to your level, cupping your jaw. “How did they do it?”

“My house-elf caught me on the way out. He called my parents in and they just...mother said they couldn’t wait any longer...that I was to be a blood traitor if I didn’t get it.”

Sirius mentally scolded himself for allowing you to do such a reckless thing without backup. He helped you plan your escape, and now he was responsible for your downfall. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes but he fought them back as he looked at you.

“I can’t go back,” you whispered.

“You’re not going to,” he said decisively.

“I can’t just leave, you know that didn’t work last time.”

He took a careful breath to calm his nerves as his hands trailed down from your face to your hands. “When someone I love gets hurt, I get involved.”

You jumped into his arms. As he tugged you closer to his chest, you felt that emptiness slowly start to fill up with...something. It was a warmth you had never felt. A warmth that made you tear up. Sirius started to tear up as well as he ran his hands over you like he hadn’t seen in you in years. Maybe he felt that emptiness, too. And maybe you filled that emptiness, too. And maybe, just maybe, you filled that emptiness with love as he did for you.

#cw food mention #tw food mention #cw implied depression #tw implied depression #cw isolation #tw isolation #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black headcanon #sirius black imagine #young sirius black #young sirius imagine #young sirius x reader #young!sirius black #fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction

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straight-outta-hobbiton · 6 years

Text

On Sirius Black and the Black Family Dynamics

So, something interesting I just realized.

In Grimmauld Place, Sirius still has a bedroom. Like, canonically, he sleeps in the room that used to be his growing up. It still has his posters all over the walls and everything. On top of that, it has a letter sent from Lily in 1981.

While I recognize JKR is shit at keeping timelines, it made me think— for the placement of that letter to work, Sirius must have been either living in the house or stayed over regularly enough that it wouldn’t be unusual for him to leave things like letters from his friends lying around.

According to Sirius, Walburga was basically an alt-right stand-in, and thanks to the portrait, we have no reason to disbelieve him. But here’s the thing— even after she blasted him off the family tapestry, she left his room alone. Yeah, there were permanent sticking charms on his posters and whatnot, but considering the implied magical ability both she and Orion Black had they probably could have gotten rid of it all anyway, turning the room into another guest room or an office or a torture chamber or whatever. But they didn’t. They left it just as it was.

This, to me, implies that they expected their son to come home, whether it be because he has nowhere else to go or because he learned his lesson and was willing to return on their terms. Since he still became Lord Black after they died, I can’t imagine they legally disowned him/wrote him out of the will, considering they were filthy rich Purebloods with appropriately-thinking family out the ass.

So, Walburga and Orion expect their elder son to come home, and he doesn’t. He moves in with the Potters, then inherits a small fortune from an uncle that basically wipes away any chances of the first scenario happening, leading to the fury and blasting of Alphard Black’s portrait off the family tapestry. Still, they don’t destroy his room. They leave it there.

Then, at some point in 1979, Regulus dies, and so does Orion. Walburga is suddenly completely alone, her husband (to whom she was happily married, according to a couple of different sites) and her perfect, albeit younger son, who did the right thing and joined the Death Eaters. She’s older, she’s sick with grief, and she’s pretty much lost everything that a proper Pureblood lady ever wants in the world.

I theorize that she and Sirius contacted each other again somehow, either Walburga writing to Sirius about the death of his brother and father or Sirius contacting her with condolences, though I think the first is probably more likely, since Regulus ‘disappeared’ rather than just straight up died. So they come back into contact again.

Sirius is a kid who was abused by his parents, at least emotionally, probably physically. You figure he probably spent most of his childhood before running away doing his best to be accepted by his parents, to be loved and understood even though he knew deep down inside that they would never accept him as he was. Still, he tried— he probably got good grades, probably tried to do things he thought might make his father proud or his mother smile in between bouts of rebellious, probably self-destructive anger. And while he’s mostly gotten over the people-pleaser thing— after all, they’ve still got Regulus, the better son, and anyway he’s got his friends and a job and a purpose beyond that sort of stuff— when he gets the news that his brother (who he loved, even if he turned out to be a no-good Death Eater) and his father (who taught him how to fly and cast his first spells but always let his mother have her way when Sirius did something wrong) are dead, he still grieves. Nobody else can understand it, really, so he goes to his mother, the only other person in the world who feels at least a little bit like he does.

His mom’s still a bitch. She’s still mean, and hates his friends and his life and his beliefs and his choices, but she’s older now, worn down by the sudden shock of losing just about everything she cherished within a single year. But she lets him in, lets him sit across the table with a cup of tea with her in silence, lets him ask about her health and if she knows how Regulus died (because even if he’s technically missing, they both know that he’s dead). Eventually, of course, the meeting goes bad, and he slams the door behind him as he goes.

But he comes back.

He starts... visiting. It’s never comfortable, their conversations always on a knife’s edge between superficial small talk and full-blown arguments. He hates that he can’t say anything about his life, about how James and Lily got married and how Remus has a new job, because it’ll just lead to insults about his Mudblood friends. He hates that she’ll just bring up shit he does that she doesn’t agree with and tell him why he’s being stupid by getting involved with Dumbledore, and he just has to sit and take it because God forbid he brings up how well Regulus’ involvement with the Dark Lord went.

She doesn’t seem to mind that he visits, though, and as time passes, she starts getting obviously weaker, physically, magically, and mentally. She starts talking to him like she did when he was a kid in between those angry outbursts, before he proved to be nothing but a bloodtraitor, shaming his good family name by running around with Dumbledore’s lot. And the little kid in Sirius— the one still desperate for approval from his mother— eats it up, prompting him to visit more, even maybe spend a few nights in the house. It’s not perfect— more often than not, she still seems to hate him— but there’s just enough sweetness on Walburga’s part that makes Sirius think that maybe, maybe he could change her mind, maybe he could get this to work even though it definitely won’t.

She’s pleased when Harry’s born and he’s named godson, even if the brat’s only a halfblood, because an alliance with the Potters is a step in the right direction, even if they aren’t Sacred Twenty-Eight. She lets him show her pictures, and remarks how lucky his godson is to take after his father, and even on one occasion meets him, when a babysitting Sirius pops in to pick up a present for Harry he’d left at Grimmauld. But she’s still getting worse, still getting sicker and crazier and meaner despite all this.

Eventually, of course, Sirius’ visits stop, and Walburga finds out he’s in Azkaban thanks to the Prophet. She gets sicker, and weaker, and eventually dies in 1985, leaving behind only her family name and holdings and a hope that maybe someday, Sirius will be freed, and he’ll do what’s right by the family.

Sirius told Harry he never came back to Grimmauld after he ran away. I think it’s more interesting if he was lying.

#sirius black #walburga black #orion black #harry potter #harry potter headcanon

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siriuslysnuffles · 7 years

Text

14/34: november third

(november third)

when he was eight, they held a dinner party for his birthday, celebrating the continuation of the black family name. ‘toujours pur,’ his parents would always say.

sirius hated it. he hated that he had to dress in his fanciest robes and chat amongst the other pure-blood snobs. all they did was repeat what they heard from their parents. he wished his cousin andromeda was coming, at least then he would have an intelligent companion. he supposed he had regulus. he would be fun if his parents weren’t around.

when he was ten, he was told to act like a black. but what does it mean to act like a black? all he knew was that he needed to protect reg. protect him from the wrath of his father, even if he was hurt in the process. all he knew was that his parents slept in different beds. all he knew was that he was expected to be someone he didn’t want to be. all he knew is that blacks hurt people, or were hurt by people. and frankly, he didn’t know which was worse.

‘happy birthday, si,’ his brother said as he handed him a slice of cake he had brought to his room. sirius had been punished by his parents again.

‘thanks, reg.’

so maybe not regulus. he was too innocent to hurt someone. he wouldn’t let them damage him.

when he turned twelve, he spent the day in the hospital wing with james, remus, and peter. remus was recovering from the flu. again. he repeatedly apologised to sirius for ‘ruining his birthday,’ but sirius didn’t mind. james had even managed to convince madam pomfrey to get them hot chocolate and cake. james’ argument had been that if it helped against dementors, then it should help fight the flu.

sirius had the feeling that james could convince anyone to do anything if he tried hard enough. james made him feel like he belonged, like he wasn’t just a black. james made sure that two days later, when remus left the hospital wing, they were able to sneak out and have s’mores and hot chocolate in the quidditch pitch.

when he was fourteen, he spent the morning cheering on his best mate from the quidditch stand. he cheered as james made another spectacular throw.

he shouted as he watched one of the gryffindor beaters, tom belch, throw the bludger towards regulus. it was at times like this where he felt like a traitor. how could he truly be a gryffindor when his blood was made of green and silver?

he screamed as a bludger hit james. maybe his blood was green and silver, but his loyalties lied with james potter.

when he was sixteen, he attacked a boy the muggle way for making fun of remus and peter. it didn’t help that it was one of regulus’ friends. one of the boys who would grow up to be just like their fathers and marry someone just like their mothers.

james and he spent an hour being lectured by mcgonagall about keeping their tempers and how barbaric it was to duel the muggle way. they spent an hour in detention that night, something they were quite used to at that point.

they didn’t regret what they did. if anything, sirius would have gone for another had the professors not shown up. he refused to let anyone get away with hurting his mates. he can’t save regulus, not anymore–but he’ll keep trying for the time being–but he’ll save them. he has to.

when he was eighteen, he felt loved. he received presents from monty and emma who had adopted him as their second son when he was sixteen. he received a birthday card from them too, they wanted to celebrate his birthday during christmas break–even if he no longer lived with them.

it was a thursday. and they all went to class, but it was implied that the four boys would all go to hogsmeade tonight.

‘bring evans with,’ sirius told james as they walked to the great hall for breakfast. peter and remus had gone to the kitchen, he would later find out, in order to convince the house-elves to sing him happy birthday. it was peter’s idea, and it was peter who had been able to convince them.

‘i thought it was supposed to be just us. it is your birthday after all,’ he tried to play it cool, but sirius knew that james wanted lily there.

‘i want my friends with me, and lily is my friend.’ he nudged his mate lightly, even if she does lets you snog her.’

james laughed, ‘prat,’ he uttered before ruffling his own hair.

but james was giddy the whole day, even when lily kissed sirius on the cheek and told him she’d be happy to come tonight.

when it was ten at night, they snuck out past curfew. peter and sirius took the cloak and trailed behind remus, lily, and james. the latter three argued that they didn’t need the cloak because, if they were caught, they could always say they had some prefect duty to handle–unless it was mcgonagall of course.

he watched as james helped his girlfriend into the secret passage, holding her hand and making her laugh the entire time. he included the rest of them as well, making sure they knew he hadn’t forgotten about them.

‘i bet ten galleons they’ll be married this time next year,’ he whispered to remus and peter.

he saw peter analyse them, ‘all right, i’ll take it.’

‘you in, moony?’

‘i don’t bet when i know i’ll lose, i like a challenge,’ sirius laughed.

‘what’s so funny, black,’ the head girl asked him.

‘your love life,’ he teased her.

‘oy,’ james shouted, but there was a small smile on his face as he saw lily laugh.

‘he’s not wrong,’ she admitted.

that was one of his happier birthdays, one of the ones that kept him a little sane in azkaban.

he remembered lily trying to outdrink him.

‘a bit of a lightweight, aren’t you, black?’

‘i’m not drunk yet, red,’ he said as he took another swing.

‘but you stopped drinking firewhisky, you’re drinking the weak mead,’ she pouted, her green eyes fluttering slightly.

‘let’s get you some water, lily,’ james said trying to sober her up. the redhead shrugged him off, ‘no,’ she said slowly, ‘i want to dance with pete.’ she slid out the booth and was clumsily walking over to peter and remus who had gone to get their order.

sirius eyed james with a smirk, ‘did your own girlfriend leave you for peter?’

james was holding back a grin, ‘what can i say? pete’s charming.’ sirius’ doglike laugh was heard from tables away.

‘thanks for inviting her, i know it meant a lot to her.’ he hesitated for a moment before adding, ‘and me.’

‘i meant what i said,’ he looked over fondly at the girl who was drunk and still attempting to dance with their mate. her feet stepping on his. ‘she’s my friend too.’

when he was twenty-one, he spent the day with two of his best friends and his godson.

he watched as james held harry on his lap, bouncing him up and down as harry laughed and smiled.

sirius smiled down at him. his godson possessed james’ mess of a hair, and lily’s mesmerizing eyes. he was only three-months-old and already he was so loved.

‘don’t hog him, prongs,’ he said, stretching his arms out for the boy in question. james kissed his son’s head softly.

‘be careful,’ james warned him as he carefully placed him within his arms.

‘you like me more than your dad, yeah?’ the little boy giggled in his arms. ‘yes, you do.’ he tapped the boy’s nose gently.

‘who knew sirius black would be so good with kids,’ a voice said as they approached. the baby’s eyes immediately drifted toward her, just as his father’s always did.

‘don’t get the wrong idea, evans, i’ll always be a bachelor.’

she laughed, ‘and it’s potter, sirius. james and i have been married for two years now.’

‘two wonderful years,’ her husband said as he stood up to wrap his arms around her.

‘mmm...i could have done worse,’ she teased.

‘only harry and the cat love me,’ he said as he let go of his wife.

lily laughed at him, ‘james, love, our cat hates you.’

‘lies!’ he cried. ‘godric loves me!’

‘you’re such an idiot,’ his wife said turning to face him, ‘but i love you.’

‘i love you too,’ he kissed her lips gently.

‘and when you’re older and you realise how both your parents are major dorks, you can come live with me.’ harry tilted his head to the side as the cat came walking in, head held high.

‘sirius is corporating our child against us, love,’ james nuzzled into her neck, placing a small kiss there.

‘it was bound to happen, although i suspected it would begin with firewhisky or helping him do something illegal first.’

sirius laughed. ‘his father and godfather are illegal animagi, lil. your son is going to be a trouble maker.’

‘especially if he gets his mother’s tongue and her temper.’

‘i don’t have a bad temper,’ she glared at james.

‘no, you don’t,’ he agreed, ‘but when you hold things in, then you snap.’

she pouted. ‘you even scare me,’ sirius added.

‘give me my son before my temper to hex both of you wins,’ lily took the baby who happily went into her awaiting arms.

‘not fair, i just got him,’ he pouted.

lily placed a loving kiss on her son’s head, ignoring her friend’s pout. ‘have you been a good boy for daddy today, har?’ the boy giggled, not understanding a single word she said. all harry knew was the smell of his mother. all he knew was being held by someone that loved him.

‘i made you a birthday cake,’ lily said as harry snuggled into her. ‘i was hoping remus and peter could join us, but they got called in for the order today.’

there was a moment of silence where no one dared to speak, ‘let’s have cake then. i’m sure it’s delicious, my love.’ james gave a kiss to her temple before dragging sirius with him to the kitchen. lily followed rolling her eyes at her boys. and sirius black was definitely one of her boys.

when sirius was twenty-two, he spent his birthday in azkaban. three days prior, his best friends had died, and he had been betrayed by someone he thought was his friend. three days ago he lost everything–including the will to live. because what was a life worth when there was no james and lily potter.

when he was twenty-two, all he wanted to turn back time. because when he was twenty-two, he stopped believing he was worth saving. lily had once told him he was worth saving, but how could he be when he was the reason that they were dead?

maybe he wasn’t. maybe they were his punishment.

-excerpt based on my love for sirius black and my need to honor his memory

read it here on ff. feel free to request a topic for me to write an excerpt on.

prompt(s): sirius’s birthday

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