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nalyra-dreaming · 4 months

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Pre season 2 rant - heavy on sarcasm!

This is the... well by now somewhat meditated on rant I promised a while ago. It has a lot of cussing, so be warned.

It is a… summary comment about some views I‘ve seen around, from “bad writing“ to the “abuse“ and other things. Oh, and it's about the "lying" subject. With receipts!

I‘m getting this out of my system before season 2 hits, and before more of the press leading up to it is released, because cast, crew and writers as well as the show have given us all of it already and, tbh, if I‘m going to see anyone scream “bad writing“ or “Louis being made a liar or the memories revisited/changed is racism“ when the changes will hit I‘m just gonna block you.

Fair warning.

This is long… so under the cut.

This show has made color-conscious choices. Brilliantly so. They also have an astonishing meta level.

And what we saw was not the truth.

That much is clear now. HAS ACTUALLY BEEN CLEAR FROM THE END OF SEASON 1 ON.

Jacob has said at the TCA panel that Louis is trying to regain his true memories.

Here is a reminder of some key statements by cast and crew:

Here are interviews and statements by Assad and Jacob and Sam and Rolin and the writers & producers that what we have seen was not the (whole) truth, that Louis’ tale has been “tinkered” with, influenced.

I'm heroically refraining from adding the gifs of Rolin and his statement again. Which are from the episode insider… and remember when that aired?! Yeah… 😒

But I've seen things recently that make me want to pull my hair out, to be frank. For example this, behind the link:

...Like, not making him a whole flat ass liar is actually the point, guys. And no it does not undermine the story....

As the writers said:

I mean, I get it to an extent. It's becoming clearer and clearer that the show some people made up in their heads is not the one they'll be getting. (We've been trying to tell them, but hey.)

Yeah.... That.

Unfortunately @blackgirlasis has blocked me, (and I have returned the favor now that I noticed), we only discussed something recently, but I think the reason might have been after I posted that video, in which it is literally said that "not everything Louis says is a lie", which, given her statements here might speak for itself, especially this part of that statement:

"It is actually ACTIVELY harmful to perpetuate the idea that the Black characters aren't to be trusted with the narrative and that we need Lestat to come through with the honest accounting."

You know, I would actually agree! Which is also why I always emphasized that we did not get the WHOLE truth. I also kept more than hinting at the fact that Armand is, well Armand.

BUT - and here it gets interesting - why is JACOB's - a BLACK man's - statement discarded? Why do they do not want to hear it that Louis does, in fact, lie? And, just to be clear - I do not NEED Louis to lie, nor be proven a liar, and I think the show will do its damndest to explain via the "tinkering" that Armand did. They will give some of the blame to Armand.

But to flip one's shit over argumentation that the MAIN CHARACTER, a BLACK MAN has already stated... that is what I find interesting.

Like, why do you* (*generally spoken, not her especially) accuse people of racism over this, when HE has already said that Louis does, indeed, lie. Why is he not actually listened to? I don't get that. Why is agency taken away from a living, breathing person to give it to a fictional character? Why is his statement that "not all representation needs to be healthy representation" not kept in mind?

Louis is Louis. Louis being color-consciously handled didn't "change the character an awful lot".

JACOB said that. Here. Interestingly enough in a comment about the racial consideration the show does(!).

Louis is NOT a whole other character despite the changes, and the twists that will happen in season 2 were always set to come, as the friggin' video of BEFORE the show aired is proof of. They talked about all that. They know it didn't all happen as shown. They knew Louis did lie. But NOT about everything.

They also knew that some of the scenes did not happen (at least as shown). And now... "it’s clear that Louis is somebody hugely angry with a man he loved deeply and now presents them as a monster…" Also Jacob Anderson.

Presents. Them. As. A. Monster.

Bailey Bass said in the SDCC interview, that it is not clear who is the "villain here" in various scenes, interestingly enough, because the dynamic keeps changing. Which of course was after they shot a myriad of scenes that would not make it into the final s1 cut. Again: why is she not listened to? Why do you take her agency away to give it to a fictional character?

And I'm not even starting on the others. Sam. Rolin. The writers.

Also, re the abuse and scenes being revisited. Again, screenshot as example:

There is nothing simple about this show. Especially that scene.

BUT the show knows what it‘s doing! I'm not going to rehash all that here now, here are links on that.

AND THE WRITERS SAYING IT WILL BE REVISITED... is from December 21, 2022.

DECEMBER 22.

A revisit and a change of that scene will not be bad writing. (Or tasteless.) They already DID so in the last episode of season 1, continuing that will simply fall into line with what we have already been given. That's not bad writing. That's just the show, and there's people who just did not want to examine that.

Because it will be echoed, and it will serve a purpose.

I know the show did the meta level of patriarchal domestic abuse, but for fuck‘s sake, the story itself is about vampires struggling, and Louis is struggling.

The show has a meta level of abuse, and patriarchy, and recognizing is valid and the meta discussions are too.

But Louis is not chained to his coffin guys, he could have left, and a fight which shows off power discrepancies within the show story line is not automatically domestic abuse.

*slow clap*

No-one wants this to happen for the sake of "redeeming" Lestat. Because he does not need that redemption. They're all murderers and monsters.

They kill. For a living. LITERALLY.

THEY ARE VAMPIRES It's not about vampires trying to find their humanity.

It's about vampires trying to find a way to live with themselves, because they are, indeed, monsters.

Doubting the narrative which was TORN APART WITHIN THE SHOW is not the same as bad writing or racism FFS, nor is actually looking at what we're given - and knowing the fucking, 50 year old books. And recognizing the hints and parallels.

I have also seen the take that Lestat isolated Louis... and like, did we watch the same show? You know, even with the vampirism (which, of course™, could not free Louis as promised)...

Months of flirting openly in NOLA, public wooing. DECADES LIVING IN NOLA. Operas. Restaurants. Family dinners. (And Louis stopping Lestat there, AS a mortal...) Cleaning the cribs, years of "human entanglement" because Louis wanted it.... Banjo barbecues, political influence, wakes... Everybody knew.

(Like, I could pull up gifs here.)

"Isolation". Right. It has nothing, at all, to do with the Rite of Passage, or Louis' depression.

Of course not.

I mean, Jacob says that Louis is very depressed during the time leading up to the fight, and his and Sam's discussion here is interesting as well, but hey, I mean, why listen to the actual black actor, right.

As a last thing.

Yeah. Tell me you know nothing about the books without telling me you know nothing about the books.

And, as a note, context is important if you pull up other scenes from the VC.

Welcome to the fucking Vampire Chronicles.

Anyone expecting big bad patriarchal abuser Lestat is not going to have a good time.

And honestly, to those: don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Good riddance - and BON VOYAGE

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elisaintime · 1 month

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Woah, I must have missed something, why are people jumping down your throat?

From what I can gather at this point, it seems like they feel like anyone who likes Anne Rice herself and the books better than the show=automatically racist. Even if they ALSO enjoy the show and support the race change of the characters and all the racial conversation the show incorporated into its adaptation.

Personally, I think it does a disservice to the fandom to assume that the only reason one could like the books over the show is because of racist reasons. Anne's books speak to so many people in so many ways, especially those who have ever felt like outcasts or apart from mainstream society, and many fans have extremely personal connections to the books for a huge variety of reasons.

Like I said in my videos, I was excited and intrigued to see this AU version of the story (I love AUs!) but my complaints with the writing of the episodes mostly came back to when the show was trying to stick TOO MUCH to the books.... Because the show was really making its own thing with its own versions of the characters and all these new ideas, but then suddenly it would shove in a scene/dialogue straight out of the books which would contradict or make no sense with everything else the show had already worked to set up with the new direction it was taking itself.

Critiquing sloppy/weak writing does not mean I or any other fan who feels the same is doing it for racist reasons. Much of my criticism was about how the scripts changed Lestat's character to make him so much worse than he was in the books (which would be fine, it's their story, whatever--except the show runners told us over and over again that the whole reason Louis was doing a second interview was so that this time we could see the real version of Lestat and how Louis felt about him instead of the mean, insulting version he gave in the first interview). There was a lot promised by the showrunners about what their adaptation would be like that was not delivered ("closer to the books than the 1994 movie," "true to the spirit of Anne Rice" etc). The entire reason I made my videos was to evaluate how well the show measured up to those promises.

Worse than making Lestat so irredeemable, the way the first season ended in a way that made so many fans believe that Louis might have been lying about everything didn't sit well with me at all--it's a harmful stereotype to make the black man a liar, especially when it comes to abuse. I know the "the DV didn't actually happen and black Louis was lying or mind controlled by his evil non-white boyfriend" became a running fan theory, but I personally don't believe it one bit. But I can see why so many fans do--again, sloppy/weak writing on the show's part.

Like I said in my video, the only thing Louis actually lied about in ep7 (and he was lying to himself, not deliberately lying to Daniel) was the depth of his love for Lestat at the end. And that's entirely canon for Louis to deceive himself about--admitting how much he truly loves Lestat always came hard for him. I personally don't think it's going to turn out that anything Louis told us in season 1 was a lie. I think the show would have revealed that at the end of the season, not waited another season (or two or three) to reveal that. And the theme of season 2's promotional material has all been about memory, not honesty. I don't think Louis could mistakenly remember getting dropped from a mile in the sky and the months/years of recovery afterward, so I personally think all those memories were real.

The first three episodes of season 1 made Louis's struggle with race its primary focus, and the series description began with how Louis was chafing at society as a black man. But then from episode 4 on, the focus of the show shifted entirely. Obviously racism still existed in Louis's world, but the show pushed it all entirely to the background with little things, like segregation on the bus, and we saw the characters quietly taking in stride, not making any plot out of it. Suddenly all of Louis's character-driving moments weren't about that anymore and we were in a whole new story, when his battle against racism had been the entire theme of the first three episodes. This was something I noticed and pointed out in my videos--I didn't say it was a bad thing (after all, seeing people be racist to Louis on screen, while "realistic," isn't exactly fun for anyone, and we'd already seen plenty), but I did think the sudden dramatic shift in story focus weakened the show's themes and throughline.

Again this comes down to writing, and the premise/script was written by white people. I think they could have done much better with much more non-white involvement on the writing level. I think the show could have been stronger with some more care taken to create consistency and smoother transitions between episodes (like when they take Claudia out to feed in episode 4, suddenly all the race riots are gone, when everything was on fire 2 hours ago). It's common for shows to have each episode written by a different person, even though they all collaborate in a writer's room, but to me it felt like the show lacked efficient script supervision to make sure all the scripts flowed into each other without any contradictions or inconsistency.

When I talked about these things in my videos, when I said I would have liked the show to do better with the way it missed the mark sometimes in handling racial aspects (even though other parts I commended as being great), and the way I critiqued the inconsistencies and contradictions, some people took that to mean I hated the show entirely. The point of my videos was to see how well the show measured up to Rolin Jones's promises that it was so faithful and respectful to the spirit of the books and that all he wanted to do was honor Anne's work. I know the books back and forth, enjoy having a ND hyperfixation that gives me near-encyclopedic knowledge of the texts and Anne as an author. So people ask me questions about them all the time, especially in comparison to the adaptations. Who better to make videos evaluating how well the show measured up to RJ's promises and claims of faithfulness? But some people took me comparing the show to the books to mean I thought it was a bad thing that they weren't the same, and I hated the show entirely for not being the same as Anne wrote it, and therefore that meant I (and anyone else who loves the books) was racist 🤷

#amc interview with the vampire #vampire chronicles #maven of the eventide

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marytudorr · 5 months

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Ok ok ok stick with me for this one bbg

Being from 2023 and finding lestat, loui and claudia kinda dead but not really, you nurse them back to health and they are like:

Louis: i will protect you with my life bestie🧍

Claudia: my sister 🫂

Lestat: so would you like to touch lestat junior over here in the south region 🙂

But they would take you to live with them and you would bcs... They are filthy rich... Have you seen louis house in the modern days

They would keep going like everything is fine and eventualy you get a bf... Boy lestat does not like that...

He would very much try to seduce you

-walking naked when you two are alone in the house

-taking baths with the door wide open

- his hand on your waist at all times

-going to your room at night amd may or may not bite you

If all of that fails, he might do what he did with louis, give you a full speech of how your hearts are dancing, getting closer and closer to you until you eventualy have sex.

When its all done and if you dont touch the subject, he will be fine with that because it got you to stay and will probably tease you

( your insistence on not giving him the relationship he craves with you gets him hot and bothered 💀)

If louis found out: i think he would be mad at lestat only because he knows how manipulative he is

If claudia found out: he is dead, you are her soul sister, the only person to show her true kindness, her job is to do the same

I LOVE THEM

First of all, “Lestat Junior” IM CRYING

Second of all, Lestat thinks he’s so smug and stuff, he thinks he can get anyone he wants but really it’s you who has the power, he’s literally your bitch.

If you don’t give into the teasing I think he would be so desperate for you(leading to the speech), he may even beg on his knees, sob into your clothes and give you the most pleading eyes (I may have to write this). He’d do anything to get you into his bed(coffin) and it shows.

But if you gave into your desire for him, oh lord, the brat prince™ would be so cocky, even brattier of possible. He’d tease you mercilessly in bed, not letting you come over and over again then once you do, making you cum over and over again(I’m writing this).

Either way you’d have sex with him, and when Louis find out, he’d definitely be fuming with Lestat, he’d curse him for ruining everything with your boyfriend (not that he likes him that much) and manipulating you, he’d feel sorry for you though, that your relationship has been ruined and that your a victim of Lestat’s seduction.the fight wouldn’t last long though due to Lestat’s ways to calm Louis down ;).

Claudia on the other hand, takes fuming to another level, she loves you with her whole dark heart and would rather walk outside in the day than let Lestat lay his hands on you. She’d scream at Lestat and throw things (as Claudia does) even having a go at Louis for trying to defend Lestat. All of this happening while you just stand to the side deciding how to break up with your boyfriend, obviously wanting more of Lestat.

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #lestat de lioncourt #lestat smut #lestat x reader #the vampire lestat

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ca-suffit · 3 months

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It's so annoying when Nalyra and this book group use excuses like this as if we're all dumb. There's lots of people who talk about the books and the show without being racist about it. The deeper issue here is not because people haven't read the books and think what you're saying is shocking.... What's really happening is that this group of BFFs loves to remove all mention of race from everything. They love pretending you can just overlay the books to the AMC show and it's a perfect match. Then, when anyone mentions how important it is to factor in race when discussing these things, here comes the screaming victimhood and all the "it's what's in the book" gifs. The "I'm sorry you just can't handle gothic literature SWEETIE" attitudes that are v tiring. Any race can be racist too (isn't that this group's favorite line too, they should know....) and only care for the wellbeing of white fandom, so these brown emojis or black fans who will make callout lists on other black fans under the language of calling out "fandom issues" or "antis" aren't fooling anyone to what the real motivation is behind it. People who worship Anne Rice are always going to be airheads who can't take criticism because look at your girl and all she was ever doing. Any adult who wants to defend her or the books is not a critical thinker or an intellectual. It's v possible to discuss her and the books without the stan goggles on. The black fans this group is always sneering at do it all the time. That's probably where the real issue lies, because it's done much better than the horseshit fanon Nalyra, Virgnia, and the rest are slinging and thinking is epic meta or something. I lurked for a long time before coming here to start pointing this out. I've seen these egos get bigger since the show has been off the air and book people crawled out from the depths to try and tell everyone "what's going to happen." It's a stupid power trip and nothing else. This group doesn't have the ability to analyze anything like they think they do, so they've grown together since the show stopped airing to start harassing other fans and pretend they're the victims just because they don't think talking about race is important in their....erm...."analysis" lol. They only think they have power because the fandom became smaller when S1 ended. They're gonna be muted again when it comes back because they aren't keeping up with the themes of the show and their takes aren't interesting. Saying the white man is always innocent, the black man is lying, the brown man is manipulative is what society already does. It's boring and it's not what the show has shown us in its own canon that it's doing. This group and white fandom in general love to take an inch and run a mile with it. Whenever anyone (but especially Jacob) mentions Louis might be a liar or an unreliable narrator they're jumping on the chance to spread that statement over every part of the story. They want so much for all of it not to be true because they need Lestat to be the good guy. They always claim they love stories about monsters except their favorite white guy can't even stay a monster for them to adore him. He can't ever even be any kind of fuck up and grow from it, he's just supposed to immediately be perfect. What's the point of the story then ffs? This is why you need to read other books that aren't written by idiot, egomaniacal authors who don't have editors and are in love with their own creations. If you always find a way to excuse the white characters, say all the black and brown characters are the unreliable, scheming ones, and scream and yell "it's what's in the books" whenever anyone reminds you to notice race......then you're just racist, girl. It's not even a mystery lol so stop this crap like you're fooling anyone. You can be as loud as you want but it doesn't mean you're actually a victim of anything but your own racist stupidity. Just because Anne Rice didn't get as much pushback as she deserved in her dumb life doesn't mean you're going to get the same treatment. It's 2024, bitch.

#interview with the vampire #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #fandom racism

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 3 months

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You may not be interested in this but i just don’t understand who to share with, I’ve been a larrie for more than 4 years now & in the fandom and truly believed HL are together and everything else was smoke and mirrors to closet HL.. but since beginning of 2023 I’ve started observing the pattern instead of considering what was being said in the fandom and could see that HL cannot be together and all that being said was just the way of convincing themselves and others that they’re together.. it took me a year of going back and forth that may be there is a slight chance that they’re together still, may be it sound too much but its actually hurting to finally trying to grasp that is not the case.. I’ve very close person in my life since my childhood and we’ve been so close my entire life and because of family feuds which i thought wouldn’t phase our relationship has done just that.. she is choosing other people to spend time with and go on vacations which we both planned and it broke my heart multiple times.. am saying this because for quite sometime fandom was giving me peace but seeing harry moving on(not with what is showing with TR) and living a life without single care is hurting too.. i know you think louis does not care but this is what i saw and to think even last year or even in 2015 when harry tried to put on show and move from band and louis, i cannot even begin to think of what louis might’ve gone through.. with all the tough facade he seems emotionally very fragile guy.. friendships are equally important as relationships i know but relationships drain us emotionally more, to think that louis felt the heartbreak, to see his once loved one put all of this in louis face and he has to go through all of this is making me sad.. I’ve tried deactivating socials multiple times but i come back and it is still the same.. why it is always one person gets to hurt more than the other over and over..

I remember louis saying why it is always me and when would I win, i remember it suddenly and it just breaks my heart..

Am so sorry to say all this here!

Hi,

Thank you for your candor and sensitivity. I read this ask a couple of times to take it all in. I’m grateful that you trust in my blog enough to send it.

Often, I see that fans relate to the Larrie story because of our own circumstances. It is incredibly romantic to imagine that two very beautiful, very charismatic people are united in fighting for love, and for us, for our own desires and our sense of resolution or justice. Then you see all the fandom lore and it seems amazing that it all comes together, even the bits that seem like… well, improbable, maybe a bit of a reach… almost too good to be true.

What I’ve realized after a long time, is that none of what you see is unbiased. I have changed my opinion even in the last year, because as more information comes to light, we have to change our assumptions. Not to question you, but you assume that Louis is sensitive, and has been hurt by his “once loved one throwing it back in his face.” Maybe it feels hurtful and intense because you’ve only started to question the truthfulness of Larry. But maybe these events took place ten years ago. Maybe six years ago. It’s true that since 2018, Harry and Louis have barely spent any time in the same country. They don’t share acquaintances or friends or professional contacts. Harry is besties with James Corden and Ben Winston, who teased Louis in 2019 that they don’t even have his telephone number. Why wouldn’t they just ask Harry?

Maybe it’s been so long that Louis has already worked it out of his system. He wrote a whole album of personal disappointments and betrayals. He wrote Back To You and Miss You, and Walls and Habit and Defenceless. And there aren’t any such songs on FITF.

“You never told me never, I guess I never knew we'd have the shortest forever”

“Maybe if you'd taken more time/ I'd still be the one you wanna talk to every night.”

“I was lucky once, I could be lucky again.”

Assuming that there was anything to Larry at all, Louis isn’t sad about his past relationships. He’s moved on from blaming himself.

“Spent my whole life just thinking I had to change.”

And the whole concept, the title of his album is Faith In The Future. The Australia merch was so much fun because we finally saw that the couple on the merch graphics were not in a dystopian story. They find each other, they find love. (And the funny 369 manifestation on the clocks!)

“Love is only for the brave.” This was a difficult thing to say in Walls, and as if to illustrate it, the song was as short as we could bear. The church of romance had been burned, sacrificed— destroyed in the most dramatic way. Louis felt excommunicated, a lonely shadow.

Copy Of A Copy Of A Copy was a transition song, from broken beaks and dead birds to finding community and hope.

Heartbreak is the human condition. Despite it all, Louis opens his heart. He cries. He loves. Sometimes he loses. But to engage in love authentically means to take a real risk — not to be certain that you’ll be loved back or that things won’t head south, or that you won’t be betrayed, because we all know Louis’ history. Still, Louis “keeps his heart open.” That’s something to applaud and not pity.

#louis tomlinson

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cosmicjoke · 1 year

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I think maybe the hardest part of reading “The Tale of the Body Thief” is just watching Lestat sink further and further into this belief of himself as an irredeemable monster, as an actual devil. His sense of guilt is vicious, but he doesn’t seem to understand how its very existence proves he isn’t a devil, he isn’t evil. But as he goes through this truly awful experience of being trapped in the form of a human body, it’s begun to erode away at his memories of mortality, of what it was like when he was genuinely human, to replace it in his mind and in doing so, his estimation of what it is to be human. He dreams of Claudia laughing at him and telling him that he’s a liar, that he’s always felt being what they are is better than mortality, that he never wanted to be human, that he hates being human. You can see the dire consequences of this experience for Lestat. He doesn’t realize being in a mortal body is only so awful for him because he isn’t used to it any more. He wonders how he EVER endured it. It seems horrible in comparison to the power and freedom he has in his vampire body. It would to ANYBODY, especially after so long a period. But he believes it to be proof of his own evil, how much he hates it. It’s a reinforcement of his guilt and self-loathing, and of a despair in him, a reminder of the uselessness of trying any more to be part of humanity, to be good, to do good.

His dreams and visions of David and Louis and Claudia are painful to read. He imagines them chastising him, calling him out for his self-delusion. He thinks how he made Claudia because he could, because it was his only way of creating something, of giving his own life purpose, like the candle in the church which can make other flames, and he imagines David asking him why he tries to explain all the terrible choices he’s made as an attempt at some higher purpose. David isn’t really there. Neither is Claudia or Louis. Lestat is asking himself these questions. He’s criticizing and calling himself out. He’s drowning in guilt over his actions, over his impulsive and thoughtless nature. He imagines Claudia telling him that all the deaths she caused were really his, because he made her a killer. He imagines her telling him he’s had far longer to learn the difference between right and wrong than she did.

Lestat’s entire negative self-image is so wrapped up in how he was raised, and it’s fucking awful to see unfold. I know I keep going back to this, but Lestat was made to feel unworthy of love from the time he was a child. He was made to feel there was something wrong with him, that his very existence and nature made him something of a monster, that he was a burden and a disappointment and a failure. And that belief gets reinforced again and again and again each time things like this happen, each time he makes a decision which backfires and results in some kind of horrible outcome. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy for him. Like he’s been told all his life he’s a monster, and so he does things to prove it’s true. And I think Lestat’s absolute terror at facing the disappointment of those he loves really says it all. He’s horrified at the prospect here of Louis finding out what he’s done, of Marius finding out, of David finding out. The thought of their disappointment is appalling to him. And yet, again and again, whenever he gets himself into these horrific, terrifying, helpless situations, he cries out for them to help him. When he ends up almost dying from hypothermia and is in the ambulance being driven to the hospital, he begs for their help, he begs for them come and save him. We saw this from Lestat when he was trapped with Akasha too, or before that, when he played the violin for Akasha and Enkil. In a way, I think, Lestat gets himself into so much trouble on purpose because he wants to test again and again if the people he loves truly love him in return. He can’t really believe they do, even as he hopes desperately that they do, that they’ll come to his aid and prove him wrong, because he was raised to believe himself unworthy of love, as unwanted and a perpetual disappointment. So he pushes again and again and again to see what it’s going to take to finally make the people he loves turn on him. Again we come back to that self-fulfilling prophecy. He’s certain he isn’t worthy of their love, and he sets out to make them admit it, to force them to admit what he thinks he already knows, that they really hate him, that they think of him as a burden.

He’s convinced himself that he’s a monster, that he’s the very devil himself, that he does things purely out of selfishness and with a total disregard for the consequences because he’s evil, and he wants other people to acknowledge it, to tell him he’s right. I think he wants that at the same time he wants them to tell him he’s wrong too, that he isn’t evil, he isn’t a devil or a monster. He wants a confirmation from them so that he can stop suffering the way he does. If he could stop feeling all this guilt, if he could really BE the monster he thinks he is, he wouldn’t be in so much pain. Because a true monster, a truly evil being, wouldn’t feel any guilt for their actions at all.

I found the contrast between Lestat’s experience of the day time and his experience of the night before really fascinating and revealing as well. Lestat’s feelings towards humanity, towards the people he encounters during the day, are incredibly charitable and kindhearted. He’s horribly sick, deathly sick even. But in the light of day, suddenly, the world and the people in it appear to him as beautiful as they would through his vampire eyes, where the night before everything seemed so ugly and plain and unremarkable to him. He feels that his experiences in the day light are the experiences he was hoping for. People see him and are kind to him, asking after his health, trying to help him. He convinces himself that he’s a part of them, in that moment.

“Many, many tourists braved the cold as I did to see the famous sights. I reveled silently in their enthusiasm, realizing that all of these beings were affected by the broad open vistas of the capital city as I was affected by them- that it gladdened them and transformed them to see the vast blue sky overhead, and the many spectacular memorials to the accomplishments of humankind.

“I’m one of them!” I realized suddenly- not Cain forever seeking the blood of his brother. I looked about me in a daze. “I’m one of you!”

For a long moment I gazed won upon the city from the heights of Arlington, shivering with cold, and even crying a little at the astonishing spectacle of it- so orderly, so representative of the principles of the great Age of Reason- wishing that Louis were with me, or that David were here, and aching in my heart that they would so surely disapprove of what I had done.

But, oh, this is the true planet I beheld, the living earth born of sunshine and warmth, even under its shimmering mantle of winter snow...

... My heart was bursting as I realized that for these precious hours I wasn’t cut off from the sentiments expressed here. Indeed, for this little while I mingled with the human crowd, quite indistinguishable from anyone else.

But this was a lie, wasn’t it? I carried my guilt within me- in the continuity of my memory, in my irreducible individual soul: Lestat the killer, Lestat the prowler of the night. I thought of Louis’s warning: “You can’t become human by simply taking over a human body!”

Lestat once again is seeking nothing more than to belong. To find a place where he’s accepted and loved.

He encounters a woman at the hotel he ends up staying in, who again asks after his health, observing that he must have been outside for a long time to be this sick, and he’s overcome with emotion at her concern.

“I stared at her, absolutely weakened by her concern, and realizing that I was in true danger of bursting stupidly into tears. I wanted to warn her that I was a monster, that this body was merely stolen. How tender she was, how obviously habitually kind.

“We’re all connected, all humankind. We must care for each other, mustn’t we?”

He thinks she’s going to be horrified by what he says, but she only agrees with him, and asks again to let her call a doctor.

This whole thing is absolutely heartbreaking, I think. It literally just shows that Lestat only wants to belong. But he’s so convinced of his own evil, that he can never truly feel like he does. He’s too guilt-ridden.

The last line of chapter 13 is really telling, though, in terms of what Lestat is missing. He thinks he’s a monster, cut off from humanity in that monstrosity. The nun who cares for him in the hospital offers to take him home with her, and as they’re leaving to get into her car, Lestat has to relieve himself, so he pisses in the snow. And he says

“Lord God,” I said. “That feels almost good! What are human beings that they can take pleasure in such dreadful things!”

Lestat is so self-loathing and so guilt ridden, he feels so cut off from humanity because he takes pleasure in “dreadful things”, like killing, like drinking blood from humans. Because of his impulsive choices and need to break rules. He hates himself for these things, and feels himself inhuman for being this way, and yet doesn’t realize that’s exactly what humanity is, sometimes. Human’s themselves are the greatest monsters.

Well, anyway, I’m loving this book. I think I’m far enough in to make a determination on that. I get why some people might hate it, but it’s such a rich psychological study of who Lestat is, and rather than making me sympathize with him less, it’s making me sympathize with him even more. I feel for him so much, my heart breaks for him so much. His fear of dying while he’s sick was heart wrenching. Who wouldn’t be more afraid of dying the longer you’ve been alive? Lestat thinks of himself as so far removed from his humanity, but he’s actually so deeply in touch with it, it’s kind of remarkable. He understands the ugliness and horror of death, he understands how scary it is, to die and to never receive any answers. He understands how unfair it all is. He understands what it is to be alone, the fear of being unwanted and unloved.

He tells the nun

“And then I decided to do it, I didn’t care what he did with my body if he could put me into this human form for twenty-four hours so that I could see the sunlight, feel what mortals feel, know their weakness and their pain.

... and I decided to do it, simply do it. Oh, I know it was wrong, wrong to let him go with all the power, but can you imagine, and now you see, I can’t die in this body. The others won’t even know what’s happened to me. If they knew, they’d come...”

He relates completely to that human need to be cared for, to be acknowledged and known and remembered. It’s the thought of dying and his existence having no meaning, no purpose to anyone, the thought of dying in anonymity and alone that scares him so much. It’s why he keeps thinking of Claudia, and her death, and wondering how she felt, wondering if she was scared in her final moments. It’s those very qualities that make Lestat human, even if he is a vampire.

But he just can’t cut himself a break. He’s so hard on himself. And that’s completely human too.

#Lestat De Lioncourt #The Tale of the Body Thief #the vampire chronicles

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artzychic27 · 1 year

Text

Just a bunch of classic Cartoon Network quotes because those shows were my life

Lila: Care to give a free sample to a pretty lady?

Cosette: Sure. Do you know one?

Lila: … Care to give a free sample to an ugly lady?

Cosette: No, ugly ladies have to pay.

—

Max: Try thinking of something dry!

Adrien: Like Ivan’s sense of humor?

Max: No, that’s too dry.

—

Nino: Guys! I found this in Adrien locker! *holds up a letter*

Alya: Let me see that! *reads the letter* “Leave your team behind or we'll put your behind in the school yearbook?"

Kim: What does that mean?

Alya: I have no ide- *takes out a very interesting photo and appears shocked when they look at it* Oh... oh, oh no...! Is that Adrien’s heiny?!

Ivan: *looks at the picture* Wow. That is one big butt.

Alix: Let me see! *takes the picture away and looks* Whoa. Ohohoho! Wow! Wohohohoooo... wow!

Rose: *laughs* Where'd they get a camera big enough to capture all that tushie?!

Alya: C’mon, guys! This isn’t funny! We have to do something!

Nathaniel: Yeah, guys! We’ve gotta get to the bottom of this!

Akuma Class: *Laughing*

Alya: Now, come on, guys!

Alix: That is not going to fit in the yearbook!

Nino: Unless they put a big section in the rear!

*everyone except Alya laughs*

Alya: Okay, now come on, guys!

Kim: Well, if I were Adrien… I would just turn the other cheek!

Akuma Class: *Laughing*

Alya: *desperately trying not to laugh, but then gave in* HAHAHAHAHA!

—

The Science Kids From the First Floor: Finally! The Kids Nextdoor Super Top Secret Files!

*Once Marc opens the box, they hear ticking*

The Science Kids From the First Floor: … Jean! You’re an idiot!

—

Max: Oh! It is on now, girlfriend! *Grabs an apple and attempts to throw it at Aurore, but fails*

Aurore: Ha! You throw like Marinette!

Marinette: That is not true! I throw much better than he does! *Throws an apple, this time knocking Aurore’s parasol out of her hand*

—

Nathaniel: *Listening to Louis’ screams from outside the art classroom with Marc* Yes! Any second now, he’ll say it! He’ll say I’m the better artist!

*It suddenly goes quiet*

Nathaniel/Marc: …

Nathaniel: Any!… Second!… Now…

Marc: Louis?

Nathaniel: … What have I done?… *Takes Marc’s hand* Marc, sweetie pie, remember him fondly, for he was a good person, keep him in your heart like a candle keeps its flame, lalala.

—

Adrien: We’re locked out?!

Simon: Yeah! Our dumb principal screwed up the code!

—

Mme. Mendeleieve: *Gasps* Rose knows the code!

Lacey: LET’S GET HER!

—

Ismael: I thought you were baaaad! You ain’t bad! You ain’t nuttin!

—

Mme. Mendeleieve: We’ll see about that! You’re going down, old man!

M. Monlataing: NO! You’re going down, OLDER woman!

—

Denise: Mme. Mendeleieve, why is Mme. Bustier’s class so weird?

Marc: *Belches* And gross, too!

—

Rose: Ooh! I see! This is a game where we make stuff up! Then I see a big green elephant! Named Herbert McHoover! He plays the drums and listens to freedom rock!

—

Luka: Professional friend, imaginary! I love everyone!… Except Mari.

Marinette: *Tearing up*

Luka: You know what you did!

—

Nathaniel: *Hitting Emani with a stick* I’ll jab you good, you filthy bug!

Emani: Why can’t you love me, Doll?! I’ll be anything you want me to be!

Nathaniel: I WANT YOU TO BE DEAD!

—

Austin T: This test might stop me from fulfilling my lifelong dream of growing up to be a smart and successful businesswoman.

—

Adrien: What about your fear of professional figure skaters?

Juleka: That’s not a fear! I just don’t trust the way they spin is all.

—

Austin A: Just think, TeeTee. You, me, all the control, all the power, ALL THE FREE CHICKEN!

—

Max: At the rate this Akuma is getting people areested, I predict this prison cell will be full in… Four hours!

*Two hours later, the Akuma Class plus Marc are all in the prison cell*

Max: Damn, he’s working fast!

Marc: I’m not even in this class!

—

Alix: You think you’ve won? *Lila nods* You think you’ve humiliated me, broken me, driven me crazy? When every waking moment, I’ve had to deal with-

*Quick montage of every Adrinette plan*

Alix: Compared to that, you’re just an insignificant zit on the butt of the world’s smallest amoeba. You have no power over me.

Lila: … *Walks away*

—

Nathaniel: *Painfully smiles*

Akuma Class: …

Marc: …

M. Monlataing: *Biting his nails*

Sabrina: You ever get the feeling something really bad is about to happen?

*Cue blindingly white explosion*

Everyone: *Screaming*

M. Monlataing: *Crying* SO BEAUTIFUL!

Mme. Bustier: What have we done?!

Marc: You fools! You’ve messed with the natural order!

Luka: Reality is falling apart!

Adrien: What’s gonna happen to us?!

Luka: I don’t know! *Hugs Adrien* But I’m gonna hold you tight and never let go!

Adrien: I love you, Luka!

Marinette: What about me?!

Luka: Uh… You’ll be fine.

—

Andre: Let’s get this started. Do you, Jean, take Austin to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Jean: I do!

Andre: And do you, Austin, take Jean- *A guard whispers to him* Not a wedding? Oh well. You’re the judge. *The guard whispers to him again* What do you mean I’m the judge?

—

Lacey: You’re boring! This is boring! Your life is boring! And this episode is boring!

—

Ivan: How would you rate Jagged Stone as a caregiver?

Luka: Uh, pretty good, I guess.

Juleka: … Except that he’s never remembered our birthday.

Luka: Or paid child support. In fact, he usually just plays loud guitar music in our ears.

—

Max: There’s something familiar about that Dora girl, I can’t put my finger on it... Let’s see... Dora... Lunch Box... And there’s that kid who goes around sprinkling pixie dust everywhere... What’s his name? Peter something... Oh yeah! Pan!... Wait, Pan. Dora. Box. Pan, Dora, Box! I just realized something horrible!... I’m about to miss my favorite show!

Kim: Oh! You mean that show about the little girl who wanders around the jungle without any adult supervision, adverting crises, conversing with wild animals with the aid of her foreign language speaking monkey?

Max: That’s the one!

—

Mme. Mendeleieve: Our battleships will dock at the north bay as our infantry gains ground on foot, making way for our tanks to plow through enemy lines! Thus, crushing Caline’s forces and resulting in a glorious victory for our class!

Reshma: Pardon, but we have no battleships, infantry, or-

Mme. Mendeleieve: Just keep throwing more food.

*HOURS LATER*

Simon: *Voiceover* Day three. War continues to rage on. The will of my men is slowly being broken.

Mireille: Hey, can we go home? I’m getting tired.

Simon: Less talk, more throwing!

Mireille: Fine. *Throws macarons at the Akuma class*

Simon: We have sustained many casualties on our side. Innocent lives have also been taken.

*Austin A gets hit with an apple*

Austin A: Ouch! I’m dying! I’m too young and beautiful to die! I’m dying!

Simon: It’s been months-

Austin A: Did I mention I’m dying?!

Simon: It’s been-

Austin A: Ooh! The pain! DYING! DYING! WHY NOW?! I had so much to almost live for!

Simon: … It’s been months since I’ve seen my loving spouse and kids.

Denise: What are you talking about? We don’t have any kids. And we’re not married.

Simon: I hate when they read my thoughts.

Denise: Then quit thinking so loud. *Leaves*

Simon: Why couldn’t they have gotten hit with a croissant?

—

Simon: You and that girlfriend of yours are great enough separately, but together... you're insufferable.

Cosette: Insufferable? I don't even know what that means. And hey, Zoé not my girlfriend! She's just a FRIEND, who happens to be a GIRL, just like I happen to be a DEMIGIRLFLUX, and you happen to be a DEMIBOY. It's the differences that make our planet so rich, diverse, and wonderful. *Rainbows appear in the background*

—

Alix: *Answers her phone* Hello?

Rose: *Whispering* Ultimate power.

—

Nathaniel: Yes, my boyfriend is actually a human-spider hybrid. Nobody can tell you who to fall in love with, but we've managed to make it work all these years. Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered.

Ismael: Eh, works for me.

Jean: Me too.

Reshma: Ditto.

Cosette: ...But how did you and Marc-

Nathaniel: Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered.

—

Chloé: My mom's ancient and grappling with the onsets of menopause.

—

Alya: Yo' momma's so ugly that people go as her for Halloween!

Students: Oooooohhhhhh!

Austin B: Yo' momma's so stupid, she sold her car for gas money!

Students: Oooooohhhhhh!

Alya: Yo' momma's so ugly, she made an onion cry!

Students: *Laughing*

Austin B: Yo' momma's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone!

Students: Oooooohhhhhh!

Alya: Yo' momma's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

Students: Oooooohhhhhh!

Austin B: Y-yo’-

Alya: Yo' momma's so stupid, she cheated off Chloé test!

Chloé/Students: *Laughing*

Austin B: Yeah, well! Uh-

Alya: Yo' momma's so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!

Students: Oooooohhhhhh!

Austin B: Uh, uh, uh, Yo' momma.

Alya: Now let me tell ya somethin! Yo' momma… Is so ugly... I tell ya she's so ugly, she needs two bags to cover her face!

—

Alix: Love makes people do all sorts of stupid things.

Rose: I love everything!

Ismael: That explains a lot.

#grim adventures of billy and mandy #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #camp lazlo #codename kids next door #foster’s home for imaginary friends #chowder #mlb incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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rimouskis · 2 years

Text

so I went to seattle

(looong post ahead)

I travelled! far!!! to a place I haven't been since I was, like... 11, maybe? 12? it's hard to remember, but it has been SUCH a long time since I've been west of, like, St. Louis, and god it feels good (more on that later).

first and foremost: I got to meet the lovely @ticklefighthockey!! she is a delight! she is an immaculate hostess! she has two very adorable dogs who rule her household! she is very good at being game for just about anything!

it was such a treat to meet up with another fandom friend. I am (more on this later) working myself towards a self-understanding that has room for respecting online friendships just as much as in-person ones. I think I still sometimes deal with residual shame over having more online friends than offline friends—just cultural baggage that says people with online friends are losers and socially-inept and weird. while I KNOW that isn't true, I've always had complicated feelings about the fact that since college my primary friendship circle has ALWAYS been online, while that has never been true for people in my offline life.

but (more on this later as well), I'm trying to be more understanding and kind towards myself about that, and trying to embrace the crazy cool uniqueness of it, which is a real gift.

anyways, back to fandom friends I get to hang out with:

isn't that amazing. I was agog at it.

jes is funny and engaging and game for anything! this is wonderful for me, a person who tries very hard to be funny and engaging and game for anything! of course, this meant we were aggressively "NO I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE BEST EXPERIENCE POSSIBLE DURING THIS VISIT"-ing at each other constantly through the entire weekend. truly the Nice Gal version of two rams clacking horns, but instead of fighting over potential mates (hi Sid) we were beating each other's skulls silly and yelling "NO BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?"

highly amusing to me, but also very conducive to, in fact, having the best experience possible. we ran around town desperately trying to cram things into an incredibly condensed schedule, but I felt like I saw so much!

we were able to take her dogs—who are truly delightful and DECEPTIVELY YOUNG. you wouldn't know from how she talks about pip but he is 100% pure muscle (could give hornqvist a run for his money) and deeply willing to play tug-of-war until someone dies (it will be you. you will be the one to die. he will win.) and darling ruthie who will hate you until she decides she likes you (this will likely involve carrots) and after she likes you she does indeed become the precious angel baby of legend—out on an OUTDOOR HIKE! through a FOREST! near a LAKE!

these are in fact pedestrian things in seattle but to me, a poor midwesterner who lives on the very very tippy top of the appalachian region, this was GREAT FUN and MUCH EXCITEMENT. so we harnessed the dogs and embarked upon what we thought was a leisurely 4.2 mile hike and instead ended up being a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am-please-take-care-not-to-step-off-the-path-by-a-few-inches-lest-you-immediately-tumble-down-a-hundred-foot-ravine-to-your-grisly-(but-green-and-verdant!)-death-while-also-dragging-a-muscled-dog-with-you 0.42 mile MAD DASH.

we sped through it thanks to aforementioned muscled dog (and sister) having zero regard for imminent death (who cares about PERILOUS TRAILS when there are THINGS TO SNIFF) and at its end was a lake! wow!

it was gorgeous and lovely and I would, in fact, hike a death-defying 0.42 miles again to see it.

then I successfully talked jes into letting me swing by pike place market (literally solely for the 'gram), but there was some fall festival going on, which is cute but also made it crowded as shit, so I took my coveted pic and bolted

walking through downtown seattle was nice, even if I had to kind of jog because my days of making friends who are shorter than me (which is a feat) are over, and I am now cursed with friends who are in fact above average height, which makes me feel weird and also short (which I am). I liked seeing the city and also sort of being able to confirm that the city is nice and good and not what the NIMBYs and right-wing pundits would have you believe has happened to seattle. it's a good city! it's beautiful! literally everyone I met was so nice! (except for one kraken fan but we'll get to him).

speaking of hockey:

my god, does seattle know how to put on a show. I was agog at the arena. it is shiny and new and impressive and beautiful and full of wood paneling and GREENERY and all the athletic, clear-faced seattleites who occupy the city. I was in a state of shock. this is, in fact, the first NHL arena I've been to that isn't PPG Paints.

and it is so beautiful that i was immediately consumed with envy. how dare this new team, with all its west coast wealth, have better accommodations and audiovisuals and LIGHT UP SCULPTURES than my legacy appalachian team?

I swallowed my jealousy down and just took it all in. they basically put on a full amazon original before each period. there is LORE and the kraken entreat you to buy into it with full casts and impressive animations and a glow-in-the-dark tentacle erupting out of the ice. it is very effective. I did, in fact, buy merch.

also I dragged jes around during an intermission to track down the band and drumline because I fucking love a good drumline and if the pens knew what was good for them they would iNVEST IN A DRUMLINE

but I was thinking to myself that this is literally exactly how you build a fanbase. this is hockey made thrilling. this is excitement. this is a PRODUCTION. this is what the golden knights want to be. this is, verily, the exact sort of shindig I would bring a kid to if I endeavored to make them into a hockey fan. I think it would work. it was a whole experience in the way pens games just... are not. pens games are hockey games! a kraken game is a circus, a TV show, and a lightshow with also some hockey. I was so blown away.

but let's get to why I was there:

DAN POTASH.

and also some guys I guess:

I'm pleased to report geno looks as pretty in white in person as he does on tv. he is so big. he never, as jes puts it, shuts his mouth. ever.

sid was also there I guess. here's a rearview shot:

jes got to witness firsthand how I physically cannot shut up during a hockey game (I regret to inform you all that I am the "talking to the players/the universe in a desperate plea for good bounces" sort of fan), and was also witness to me laughing hysterically, truly like a madwoman, when the two kraken goals were called back. jes has a better recap of the game, but I can just say that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I have seen much more embarrassing defeats at the hands of much less entertaining teams, so I was ready to bear that cross.

that being said, there was a drunk kraken fan the row ahead of us who was verbally harassing a penguins fan in his row. he was yelling at him, trying to get his attention by calling him "letang" (the jersey the pens fan was wearing), and even threw the free giveaway hat at him to try and get his attention. mr. not-letang very smartly sat still and refused to look over. I was disappointed at that behavior and also really displeased that the drunk fan's friend didn't do jack shit to stop his behavior... but that's drunk people for you, I guess!

anyways when the kraken scored the (first) empty netter I turned to jes and said we should blow this popsicle stand. and that we did lol. I regret none of it! pens you suck and I love you so dearly <3

the next day I tearfully said goodbye to my new best friend, ruthie, and then maybe waved at jes idk who cares (I'm joking, we—after very extensive fanfic brainstorming sessions in the car to and from brunch—expressed SO EARNESTLY and HEARTFELT-LY how much we enjoyed the trip, as we were both so determined to Get A Good Grade In Visiting Fandom Friends, Something Normal To Want And Possible To Achieve).

and then I got to see my aunt and uncle! they moved out there for the tech boom back in the 90s and have been there ever since. they're incredibly cool and we talked SO much

(something else I've learned about myself as an adult: I talk way too fucking much. I thought it was bad when I had an in-person job, and now that I do WFH it's literally like I'm being paid by the word I speak. big kudos to anyone who's withstood being near me for longer than an hour).

my aunt took me on a hike and we got to see old-growth forest AND a lake AND the skyline, which was so sick

talking with her was incredible. she's a very interesting person and a complete city-slicker and is... kind of eerily like me? like I saw a lot of similarities between her and I as we talked and interacted with my uncle. we have similar communication styles and I see myself a bit in her. something that's heartening to me is that she's, like... in her late 50s and childless and so youthful and full of attack attack go go go energy and has the same ruthless desire to UNDERSTAND and BE UNDERSTOOD that I do, and I liked talking with her. she's so receptive to youth culture and to aspects of things she doesn't understand in her quest to understand them, and it makes for such engaging conversation.

my uncle, too, is really neat. I like him so much, and I wish I knew more about him? my dad is so reticent about his family sometimes, and I'm still so desperately trying to tease out the full story of what growing up in that family was like (for longtime followers, this is my uncle who got written out of my grandma's will). he has great energy and is pretty chill (and was literally recovering from intense hip surgery while I was there, he's such a champ haha) and I wish I could see him and my dad interact more. why did all my dad's brothers have to scatter across this country??

he found me interesting, I could tell, and that was really validating and nice. we had awesome conversations about how I got into hockey (my aunt is super, like... 2nd-wave-y feminist and does not get my hockey love due to the sport's chauvinism) and also how I found community online. my aunt is a writer in her free time and hasn't ever really been able to find her niche online and really wanted my input about how I'd been able to befriend people across the country, and world, online.

that too was really validating and cool. I've always sort of put myself down about not having as many IRL friends, but seeing it through their eyes sort of helped me shift my mindset. I DO have amazing friends! they're close mentally if not physically! and they lead to amazing things! they were so jazzed about me hosting friends from all over the country who'd come to visit me in the name of hockey. while I get all whiny about not having enough people to do stuff with locally, my aunt was like "you have friends WHERE?" and they were so into it. they loved that I had worldwide friends and was finding connection wherever I went. it was great.

also we saw jesus at a grocery store. yes, it was halloween, but it was a funny encounter. he was in the produce section.

then we went to a WATERFALL that was TERRIFYING IN ITS SCALE

this thing was incredible and man... man... I need to go back. I have to. I always thought as a kid that I'd end up moving out west. even before my twilight phase got me fully obsessed with washington, I loved the look and nature and majesty of the PNW. since the first time I visited there, I knew something about that area spoke to me.

and it was so, so cool to reconnect with that after over a decade away. when I was there I felt like a sort of... idealized version of myself. like that version was within reach. that I could become a really cool version of myself if I lived there. an alternate path, you know?

maybe the PNW is in my future. it could be. I always thought it would be as a kid. funnily enough, a hockey team got in the way and sent me east instead, but like I always say... I don't know if pittsburgh is forever! I want to live a grand adventure, and I want to live many places, and maybe one day I wind up there for a spell.

there's just something about that part of the country. something about me when I'm there.

this was such a good vacation. it was short, but it was honestly practically idyllic. I will be back. hopefully soon. there is so much unexplored... I want to devour that state over a summer one day.

people are great. friends are great. family is great. nature is great. life is good.

#long post #I'm not joking this is. so long.#anyways here's my seattle retrospective #it isn't very much about hockey haha

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silvertws · 1 month

Text

Can I interest you in some Ruined Reality theories in these trying times?

I'd usually just make a yt comment about theories but eh...

Anyhow.

Last episode guys.

Like I was fine. I expected some Steves to die but nooooo.

Everything went fine ...

UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE.

LITERALLY THE LAST MINUTE.

Not even kidding. My heart, ouch.

Anyhow.

Enough rambling.

Theories:

So. What was the funky blue Steve? Probably an amalgamation of all the souls tougher.

Since the Soul Eater wasn't there to eat the souls, they just formed an entirely new entity.

Now, what does this mean? Did everyone's soul get absorbed? Is everyone dead???

Nuh-uh.

I'm sure Light, Corrupt,( I literally could be saying the wrong name because I can never for the life of me remember the Soul eater minions),Void, and Soren are alive and probably all the Steves infected by darkness because we know darkness countered the Soul Eater. So theoretically...they should be good.

Light is alive due to having Soulless.

Corrupt well. Should be alive? Or maybe his energy also got yoinked by the soul amalgamation.

Now what about Louis, Cliff... Etc? So... Uhm...

Louis could be alive??????? Like he has the rainbow crystal, I'm pretty sure the crystals are made with the souls of the most powerful Steves of that color are they not? And I don't know if the machine can suck out the soul from "things" so hey. Maybe he's ok?

Yellow leader has darkness so maybe????

Cliff and General Proxima have darkness scars so eh...

Anyway.

What's gonna happen now?

Well.

Light has to have his usual existential crisis.

Then he's probably going to try and fix this.

How?

Well... Alliance with Void of course and Toxic (Soren) because theoretically, let's say everyone else is gone. Who is he going to go to for help???

Exactly.

Oh also like, Purple Steve is probably alive? Like the Indigos cause maybe they already went back to the in-between when the machine went off?

SNOWY

NOOOOO

THE REALIZATION.

Nah I refuse to believe the machine stole Snowy's soul.

Like the Soul eater didn't eat animal souls right?

It is true that a machine isn't exactly the same...

And the amalgamation probably isn't either.

Now.

Is the amalgamation evil?

Nah, from my understanding, it being a smoothie of souls just means it's probably just a very freaking confused creature who doesn't exactly have a will of its own??? Like it's probably gonna roam around, confused...

Which brings me to another thing.

So Corrupt.

If he survived.

He's probably the only one who could actually make use of all those souls other than maybe Light??! Cause Soulless.

Now now. I don't know if Corrupt can absorb Souls like The Soul Eater BUT.

the Soul Eater probably did have a plan B, just in case. Soooooooo... Maybe?

Corrupt main villain trying to absorb the souls?

Light probably needs to find a way to free said souls, how???????

Hell if I know.

Reversing the machine..???? But he doesn't know where it is I think..? So he'd have to get the information out of Corrupt and even after that, how does he fix it? I don't remember Light being particularly skilled in machinery.

Maybe he could get the assistant to help? Because he has no soul so it's probably still uh... Functioning?

But yeah, alliance Void-Light maybe fixing Soren...? But I don't know when or how that would happen, not even sure if it's going to be during this arc, maybe the one after.

Probably gonna have more to say eventually but this is it for now.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

One more thing because I'm literally walking rn and I have a side note.

Now it's entirely possible that the machine didn't actually absorb the souls of the Steves there but it just combined the souls that were already like, gone, maybe without the Soul eater instead of the souls being freed, the machine just kept them together.

But this theory is a biiittt stretched out.

#minecraft #mctv #minecraft rp #steve into the steve verse #ruined reality #light steve #theories #Ruined reality theories #im hyperfixating so hard rn

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docholligay · 1 year

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What's the three best and three worst places you've been?

I assume this is like, cities, and not, you know, prison.

Cities to which I very likely can and will return someday I enjoyed them so much:

London, UK

Boston, USA

Minneapolis, USA

Glasgow, UK (I know this is four I know I know shut up)

Cities where I am unlikely ever to darken their door except by absolute necessity:

St. Louis, USA

Cambridge, UK

Atlanta, USA

I enjoy so many more places than I do not enjoy, and this was shockingly hard for me in the positive to narrow it down to three. I have friends outside of London and Boston, and so I had to think carefully on whether or not that affected my answer. I enjoy seeing them, and so that's always a positive.

So, what cities would I return to outside of getting to see a single person I know? The other problem with this is I'll go almost fucking anywhere, I am a very adaptable person and find many ways to have a good time. Even NYC, which was very very hard for me the first time I went, I think I've figured out how to have a great time there. So even my bottom of the barrel, given a cheap and easy chance, I'd probably give another shot, just with knowing what I know now and trying to massage the things I didn't like.

London: Samuel Johnson said that when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life, and that's remained true for me. Not only is there a lot to do--this is true of many big cities--but the vibe of the city is much more low to the ground is the only way I can think of to say it, compared to NYC and LA, both of which genuinely have a lot offer but feel extremely frenetic to me in a way London does not. Narrowly beat out Paris simply because the subway is better than Paris'. Also it is I think more chill than Paris, but I sort of like the ways Paris is out of its mind.

Boston: This is another one I would call "Low to the ground" in a way that I think makes no sense to anyone but me. It feels like people live in Boston. Also I eat my weight in oysters at least once a trip. Great food scene on both expensive and cheap ends.

Minneapolis: The whole world is sleeping on Minneapolis. They have a rapidly growing food scene, great craft beer scene, the sculpture park is immense amounts of fun even in winter (a/n: I am cold-hardy), and minnesota nice is a REAL thing. We walked into a brewery and were standing at the counter, I said something offhandedly to Jetty about how it was real wet and cold out that day, and the guy at the counter was like, "Oh you don't have to buy a beer just to get out of the cold! Go ahead." I wanted the beer, mind, but I thought the attitude was great. We went to a piano bar that made its own mini pop tarts that were shockingly great, also go to Black Sheep Coal Fired for pizza.

Glasgow: I will spend the rest of my natural life trying to talk people into going to Glasgow, and probably fail because everyone wants to go fucking Edinburgh because it's instagrammable and ~'arry Potter~ and whatever. Anyhow, I did not hate Edinburgh at all despite that bitter little screed, but much like Minneapolis, people are sleeping on Glasgow. Great boutique hotels at extremely fair prices, amazing Indian food (Dishoom did beat Mother India out, but damn is it close as fuck, and Ashoka won for me for casual Indian), and again, like Minneapolis: The people. Are so. Nice. Legit if I had left my passport on a bus in any other city I feel I would have been fucked, but on a weekend, the bus system and the extremely nice people at the coffee shop were all working to try and get it back to me (and we did!) And the gal at our little hotel took time to chat with us every evening (full disclosure: She was Irish, and when she found out we were from a rural part of America, she spent so so much time trying to talk us into rural Ireland for our next trip, because we'd love the vibe of it. Someday), and I had the ABSOLUTE WORST old fashioned of my life made by the most amazingly kind woman in history, and I drank the whole thing and thanked her profusely. The pub near our hotel was incredible and homey (little boutique hotels are in neighborhoods there. Fantastic.) Glaswegians GET THEIR PARTY ON EARLY, mind.

#it was when we were there i knew having made Emily be from glasgow #was 100% the correct option

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lioncunt · 2 years

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so basically i’m just watching this as it’s own show now and not relating it to the books at all. i think it’s fucking dumb they didn’t put a domestic violence trigger warning - not because of the brutality itself, which is par for the course in the books, but because it was an intense level of physical abuse in a marriage.

i’m still maintaining: that wasn’t book lestat. NOT because he isn’t capable of that level of violence, because he absolutely is and he does it against armand. he is a terrible person and anyone saying he isn’t doesn’t actually like his character, they like a version of him they made up. BUT he just never does that against louis. and also, that’s not to say he isn’t abusive towards louis in other ways, or to negate the impact OF that emotional abuse. i’m saying that this was a level of torture against louis that is out of character for book lestat and in my opinion not necessary and in poor taste to depict against louis’ character. in all other versions of this story, louis never suffers like this. there are a couple of equally matched fights that louis and lestat have early on in the first book, but they’re both powerful white men and neither of them comes away with any injuries. lestat in the book is the same age as louis and has only been a vampire for ten years when he meets him, so there’s much less of a power imbalance. he even has his living father come live with him and louis. they also aren’t explicitly romantic in the first book. it’s not at all comparable to the situation on the show and i wish people would stop bringing it up as evidence to justify what happened.

all that to say, it’s become very clear to me that this is not the lestat from the books, despite their insistence it is. and that’s okay! i just wish they wouldn’t have said he’d be book accurate if they planned on departing THIS much from his character.

im coming into this series after having obsessively followed its development for a year. they said they’d be very true to lestat and loustat from the entire book series, so that’s why i’m really confused by this. it seems antithetical to what they were trying to accomplish by making lestat WORSE than he was at his very lowest in the books, when they said they wanted to make him more of the lovable antihero anne decided on in the second book onwards. again, im not condoning any of the fucked up shit he does in the books or saying he’s some misunderstood nice guy. this is a very specific thing that i think is ooc.

i think what happened to claudia was a fucking abhorrent joke. including sa to toughen up female characters and make male characters sad. it’s 2022 do better. again, it never happened to the character in any other iteration of this story.

anyone saying “it’s horror, they’re toxic, what did you expect” - come back to me when you’ve read lestat slaughtering 500 men because he’s mind controlled then wiping their blood on his hands so he’s marked as unclean. or louis beheading santiago and kicking his severed head across a burning theater. or armand cutting nicolas’ hands off to punish him so he can’t play the violin in his insanity. or armand (always armand lmfao) sewing claudia’s head onto an adult body. THAT is the horror of this book series. louis and lestat’s relationship, while toxic and emotionally abusive, is never depicted with outright extreme one-sided physical torture. i’m not mad about the violence, im mad about who it was against.

anyway, that’s my two cents. like i said im invested in this show and i am going to continue watching it and talking about it, albeit much less on here because i really dislike some of the takes i’ve seen. i understand if a lot of my fellow book fans fall off here, i was debating it too, but my love of amc louis and claudia and my curiosity to see how they’re gonna make people want to watch this version of lestat be a protagonist have won out.

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elvesofnoldor · 8 months

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People who said that lestat is simply acting like a "bad person" sometimes or claimed that lestat is a totally different Guy in the vampire lestat (1985) probably just never understood who he is as a character and aren't interested in understanding him either. This is not about the dictonomy of good and evil, this is about what being trapped in pain does to people. Lestat is dead! What is good and evil to a dead person! Lestat functions the same way a vengeful spirit does: he died from traumatic death and couldn't moved on, so he continued on wrong and trapped in their own pain, bound to inflicting death and suffering on people around them!

if you pay attention to how he's portrayed in IWTV, then you'd see that the vampire lestat does not actually contradict its text in any substantial way. Louis never cared to understand Lestat as a person--he said that numerous times at the beginning of IWTV--but from his outside perspective, he did spot something about the way Lestat behaved as a vampire that better explains what makes him tick as a vampire/undead. Now, not to quote Tom Cruise of all people, but after Anne Rice yelled at him, he did seem to understand Lestat a bit better; he said that lestat did everything from a place of love and longing (check mark, correct), but he did them with sadism (bad phrasing, only pointed out the symptom not the cause, ultimately incorrect). Now, in life Lestat was a good and loving person, and in death, his actions were tainted with pain, vengeance and resentment--not sadism. Lestat died way too young, with too much hope in his heart and with too much love left to give. Lestat and Nicholas, the young man he was in love with, saved each other in Paris. Lestat was full of so much hope pursuing a life doing something he was passionated about. He ran away from his abusive family with the blessing of his mother, and now finally he could breath. And then boom, just like that, out of nowhere and for no reason at all, all of that went up in smoke. Lestat suffered a very traumatic death at only the age of 21, and he was forced to make an impossible choice: walk into the sunlight and embrace agony and true death, accepting the fact that he died and he had to leave his beloved Nicki, his friends, and his life full of promises and hope behind, or, he can continue as a vampire/a undead and try to make life works for him in this new and horrible state of being. But like all human being, he feared horrible pain and he could not let go of earthly attachments. He knew his death was not fair, that it was not just, and that he suffered death for no reason at all. If life could be taken from him for no reason, why shouldn't he take the life that he needed to continue his existence? Why should he suffer for something he was not responsible for? It is not theft if you are taking what should have been yours anyways, right? Sadly, no, It's selfish to wantonly inflict misfortunes on others just because you yourself have suffered tragedy, but Lestat was in pain, and he could not stop mourning his unjustly stolen life, so he must avenge such injustice with the lives of others. It's very hard to care whether your actions are selfish or not when you are in pain.

I think it kills Lestat to admit how apathetic and cruel he's become just to cope with/numb the pain and horror of having to take the life of others to sustain his own. He claimed that he tend to claim the lives of those who has done "evil", but such justification doesn't really stand on its two legs, it is just an excuse he made up to avoid facing the sort of person he has deteriorated into in death. With no way to understand his own capability for violence, Lestat likes to think himself as "the devil", as inherently evil, because he could not understand why he would kill over and over again to feed on people as a vampire. This rigid model of "good" and evil" doesn't help him to understand himself as a person, or help him to act like a more human and better version of himself. Honestly, such model doesn't really help you to understand him a character either.

#yes lestat does not understand himself very well and he does not explain himself very well #he was literally Jared. 19 and also he was still in love with his abuser who did nothing but to use Lestat's guilt and self-hate #to make himself feel like a better person #so give him a break lmao #mae overshares

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gildatheplant · 2 years

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So I finally got around to watching IWTV ep.5

First of all, I should preface this that I watched it a week late, so Tumblr had spoiled most of it for me. I went into it fully knowing that it was divisive, and people were either angry about how the show ‘ruined’ Lestat or argued that it made sense in the context of the show.

First off, I’m in the latter camp. While I can see how the final fight between Lestat, Louis, and Claudia could be traumatizing for some viewers, particularly since it’s seen primarily through Claudia’s eyes, I didn’t think it was that shocking in light of many other violent moments in the show. I feel like the reason so many viewers reacted so badly to it was because episode 4 was mostly very light-hearted, even with its depressing ending. Going from arguably the most upbeat and fun episode to the darkest episode is bound to give a lot of viewers whiplash.

That said, it does annoy me a bit to read viewers saying that they want to quit the show, or that the writers are terrible or ruined the characters, that they loved episodes 1-4, but 5 (and maybe 6) have ruined it...because did they forget episode 1? Lestat was absolutely brutal to Louis near the ending of episode 1 but for some reason fans were not only OK with it but were absolutely hyped about the show. The ending of episode 1 had Lestat interrupt Louis’ brother’s funeral out of jealousy, Louis discovering that Lestat had murdered his friend/lover Miss Lily, Lestat driving Louis to have a complete mental breakdown, Louis trying desperately to find solace with his priest friend in the church (during his mental breakdown), only for Lestat to interrupt and murder Louis’ priest friend and another priest in front of Louis, Lestat tossing Louis around like a ragdoll when Louis rightfully tries to stab this bloodthirsty monster...this all happened after Lestat and Louis were already lovers...

So I guess I’m confused why fandom gave Lestat a pass after all of that, but then seemed shocked that Lestat was abusive in episode 5. True, Lestat was more physically violent towards Louis in episode 5, but the show has been building up to it throughout the season.

Also, I’ve read most of the books, so please don’t “Lestat wouldn’t do that in the books”. You all were perfectly happy when the show strayed from the books if it meant amping up the homoeroticism, like Lestat having levitation sex with Louis, but when the show amped up the violence, suddenly there was all this clutching of pearls. In the books, Lestat is described as having murdered innocent men, women, and children without remorse. He and Louis fight, with the insinuation of violence being involved, it’s glossed over, unlike the show, but the insinuation is still there. TotBT has Lestat say he’d never hurt Louis or Claudia but 1) it’s his perspective 2) it contradicts things written in other books and 3) TotBT depicts Lestat raping someone and forcefully changing someone so it’s clear Lestat’s concept of hurting others is seriously skewed.

I get if people are too triggered by the show to continue, and hey that’s fair, horror isn’t for everybody and some types/styles of horror can be too much even for fans of the genre. But I think it’s very unfair to slam the creative team of the show because they went in a direction that didn’t fit with your personal interpretation of the characters.

#amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire is probably second only to Dracula in terms of famous vampire books #which means tons of people have read them Karen

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blueiight · 1 year

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I think modern Louis still speaks like someone from a different time though, he doesn't use modern slang/references the way Daniel often does (even though he's an old man) so I think he's still relating the story using the language he is familiar with. The "sanctioned" part is because he wasn't going to compromise on the blood diet and in doing so is not giving Lestat his patriarchal privileges in the bedroom. He later calls it an agreement to Jonah but later he sees that its absolutely not after Lestat flips out on him and by the end of the episode he's walking out on him cause they can't get on the same page about anything. Yes there's conflicting sentiments in what he's saying but it's also cause the situation is so jumbled and you could also argue that Lestat has the same issue when he differentiates their cheating with Louis having feelings for Jonah, even though that was never prohibitive in their agreement?

well daniel is a mere 69-70 to louis’s 144-145 n danny work/ed in mass media so being in tune w current lingo / trends is a near req for his job. i think modern louis use of language is purposeful: when u think of the titular interview with the vampire, we have our own cultural perceptions, and to a certain extent, the ricean vampire is a relic of its time that is as stubborn as it is adaptive. they pick and choose what about the present they like, and maintain past patterns convenient for their purpose. so yes, louis may genuinely be out of trend but i like to think its also purposeful. he wants to be like that. louis is extremely familiar with literary conventions and archetypes. the interview itself is a rhetorical device, and louis is purposeful in the story he wants to tell in 2022 to the point of burning the 70s tapes even. thats not ethical louie lou lol. the introduction of the concept of vampire to the gp as an eternal creature purposefully discomfits the modern observer, reminds the modern viewer of its alien ways with its selectively archaic use of language. louis's power is his use of language. i think that was the point of the person's original post in discussing the contradictory use of language in the phrase "sanctioned infidelity” along w their other examples. agree that the semantics of sanctioned infidelity aside the actual situation in that moment for les x lou in the 1910s-20s is clearly one-way like u said it is not reciprocal at all bc louis is the wife/pursued party in this dynamic, and the anger from lestat is bc jonah is a tether to humanity. jonah & louis were both black gay men in the deep south, and knew eachother since they was young. even tho jonah was clearly leaving the city not long after to go back to the warfront & imo the only person 1910s lou could even think of or would try to be with outside of lestat, all these things, lestat is also a paranoid hypocrite scared of being abandoned nd cannot delineate louis's past feelings from the present. multiple things can be true ykwimmm. this is my catchphrase w my anons soz

#yn.#yn answers #louis think socmed is lame hes 40 years behind but always in on the fashion trends somehow…#modern louis calling lestat monsieur le trapstar. how do he know what the trap is. u wont never know #iwtv #louis de pointe du lac

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 1 year

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You might not post this because you didn’t want to engage too much with that anon because they did make some good points and I agree with that but you are right that they did vastly oversimplify Louis. They kind of did some of the same things larries do to Louis. Louis’ lyrics aren’t complicated to them? There are a lot of different layers of meaning in so many of his songs. There is true poetic sensibility, especially in certain songs, across both albums. Even showing up in 1D songs he helped write. There are lovely turns of phrase, signature styles of writing which you can find in all of his songs, signatures which are there no matter who Louis is writing with. Louis is of course evolving as an artist because that is how it works when you genuinely love something, but he is already a wonderful artist, special, beautiful and careful, and he genuinely loves music. I don’t know exactly what that anon is responding to from larries, probably just the typical cruelty and lack of empathy but maybe its those long posts I have been hearing about, but that wording just feels wrong to me. Louis is not perfect and I don’t want or need or expect him to be. That is a ridiculous thing to place on anyone because no one can live up to that. I believe Louis is a good person who has had very difficult decisions to make and he made them, for better or for worse. Sometimes he may not even had a choice but he stuck to them. I absolutely think Louis has trauma from what he experienced. I think he does downplay it, for multiple reasons. Much of the world doesn’t have much sympathy for Louis and instead mock him if any pain is shown, including deaths in his family which is so incredibly low and cruel, and no doubt what he has seen and experienced has led him to hold his cards close to his chest. That is his right. We are not owed his pain or his vulnerability. Louis does offer that to us, more often in his lyrics, and he says emotional honesty/authenticity in his lyrics is important to him. Louis is as honest as he probably can be. Of course what Louis has gone through has affected him. Larries are the ones who dismiss that, because their house of cards is so flimsy yet they keep plugging it with glue and hope, trying to keep it from falling over, even though the insides fell out all too long ago. If Louis has been significantly hurt by industry, by all these people associated with an ex-bandmate they ship with him, then what are they holding on to? They don’t want to see it so they won’t. I think pity is not the emotion to feel because pity is patronising to a certain extent. Pity could imply you think you would have handled the same situations in a “better” way, which you can’t know unless you go through it yourself. Being sympathetic and/or empathetic are much more kind, careful, caring notions and are very different from pity. People have said it before but I think the lyric in HOTH where he says he’s not easy on himself is one of the truest and most honest lyrics ever written by Louis

I agree.

I think to say Louis’ lyrics are not complicated and that he’s a shallow writer insults him, his intentions, his accomplishment.

Also, saying that Louis is a good person is different from appraising his abilities as a musician.

Louis is both a good person and a good musician. He’s a great songwriter, too. Not perfect, not as good as he will be one day. But already great.

And yes, the people who claim Louis “lies” about his songwriting, about writing for his friends (best mate), they irritate me.

#louis tomlinson

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