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ladyluscinia · 7 months

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Ok, I think I might be exiting the "are you fucking kidding me?" period and ready to make a real argument, so lets talk about Three Act Structure!

Is OFMD S2 just the "Darkest Hour"?

A very common explanation I've been seeing for some of the... controversial... aspects of S2 is that it's meant to be that way. That the middle act is where the protagonists hit their lowest point. Where we get the big failure point. Where everything looks kind of shit.

S2 is supposedly just that point. It's The Empire Strikes Back. People have been making that comparison since before the first episodes even dropped, telling everyone to expect something that could be disappointing or unsatisfying - it's just a matter of needing to wait for S3 to pull it all together.

It's not a baseless framework to consider the show through - I'm pretty sure David Jenkins has mentioned it in interviews (or at least mentioned he planned for three acts / seasons) so it's certainly worth asking how he's doing at the 2/3rd mark.

So - quick summary of Three Act Structure:

Act 1 introduces our characters and world. It includes the inciting incident of the story and the first plot point, where a) the protagonist loses the ability to return to their normal life, and b) the story raises whatever dramatic question will drive the entire plot. Act 2 is rising action and usually most of the story. The protagonist tries to fix things and fucks them up worse, in the process learning new skills and character developing to overcome their flaws. Act 3 is the protagonist taking one more shot, but this time they are ready. We get the climax of the story, the dramatic question gets an answer, and then the story closes.

If you want examples, the Star Wars Original Trilogy is a very popular template. And, hell, he said it was a pirate story... the main Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy also does a solid job with their three acts.

Let's compare. (Spoiler: I'm not impressed 🤨)

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First thing I need to establish... Wait. Two things. First is that Three Act Structure is flexible, so we can't really analyze success or failure by pulling up a list of necessary plot beats that should have been hit in X order. Second is that if you tell me you are writing a romance with a Three Act Structure - where "the relationship is the story" - the first thing I'm going to do is ask you how you are adapting it. Because while there's not necessarily anything preventing you from applying this to a character driven plot, most people are familiar with it as plot structure for externally driven conflict.

Unless there's a reason the status of the main relationship is intrinsically tied up in the current status of the war against the evil empire, a standard Three Act Structure is going to entail either an antagonistic force that absolutely wants your main couple apart being the main relationship obstacle OR the romance aspect being a subplot to the protagonist's narrative adventure. None of those sound like how the show has been described.

So how is OFMD adapting it?

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Act 1

(Can't figure out how well Act 2 is doing if we don't start at setup.)

Right out the gate, OFMD breaks one of the main "rules" for a story where the Acts are delivered in three parts. Namely the one where the first Act is treated as an acceptable standalone story, with it's own satisfying yet open ended conclusion.

In Star Wars, A New Hope ends with the princess rescued, Luke finding the Force, Han finding his loyalty, and the Death Star destroyed. The Empire isn't defeated, the antagonists still live... the story is not over, but this one movie doesn't feel unfinished.

Similarly, Curse of the Black Pearl gives Jack his ship back, Elizabeth and Will get together, and Norrington has the English Navy let them all off the hook and give Jack and the pirates one day's head start.

OFMD's final beat of S1 being Kraken Arc starting is not that, even if Stede returning to sea is still a pretty hopeful note. Now... I don't necessarily think this was a bad call. At least, not if the story is the relationship. It's easy to close on a happy ending and then fuck it up next movie if the conflict is external and coming for them. Not so much if you're driving the story with your protagonists' flaws, in part because it should be really obvious at the end of setup that your main characters need development and can't run off together right now. I actually like that they were risk-takers and let S1 look at the situation clearly vs doing a fragile happy end, because it takes into account the difference between a character-driven and plot-driven narrative.

I think OFMD's Act 1 actually ends at maybe the Act of Grace? Well, there through the kiss on the beach, counting as our "first plot point" before everything goes wrong, basically.

At that point, they have setup the story and characters. We've been introduced to Edward and Stede's current issues. Signing the Act of Grace does make the intertwined arcs between them real - it's no longer a situation that either one of them could just walk away from like it was in 1x07 - and we narrow in on the (alleged) driving question of the show:

It's not about "Will Stede become a great pirate?" or "Will we develop a better kind of piracy for the crew?" - the show is the relationship and the big question is "What is Stede and Edward's happy ending?"

Act 1 ends on their first solution, being together and making each other happy and admitting it's more than just friendship. Act 2 starts, appropriately, by saying both of them are currently too flawed for that to go anywhere but crashing and burning.

Now... looking back, what does Act 1 do well vs poorly?

I think it's really strong on giving us the foundation for BlackBonnet's characters and flaws. We aren't surprised Stede goes home or Edward goes Kraken (or at least... we weren't supposed to be surprised. There are still a lot of holdouts blaming Izzy for interrupting Edward's "healing" despite how at this point in the story it doesn't make sense for Edward to have the skills to heal... but I digress). The relationship question is compelling at the end of S1, the cliffhanger hooks, and the fandom explosion of fics did not come from nowhere - the audience was invested.

I also think Act 1 does a great job of settling us in the universe. We understand the rules it abides by, from how gay pirates are just a fact of life to how there's no important organs on the left side of the body. Stede has a muppety force field. Rowboats have homing devices, and port is always as close as you want it to be. Scurvy is a joke. The overblown violence of pirate life is mostly a joke, but we are going to take the violence of childhood trauma seriously.

Lucius's fake-out death, while technically part of Act 2, works well because Act 1 did a good job of priming everyone to go "obviously this show wouldn't kill a crew member for shock value, and we're 100% supposed to suspend disbelief about how he could have survived getting flung into the sea in the middle of the night." And we do. And we get rewarded for it.

Regarding antagonists - a big focus of any setup - the show is deliberately weak. The one with the most screentime is Izzy, and he's purposefully ineffective at separating our main couple. Every antagonist is keyed to a particular character, and they function mostly to inform us of that character's flaws and development requirements. The Badmintons tell us about Stede's repression and feelings of inadequacy, and Izzy tells us about Edward's directionless discontent and tendency to avoid his problems. Effectively - the show is taking the stance this will be a character driven narrative where Stede and Edward's flaws are the source of problems and development the solution. No person or empire (or social homophobia) is separating them...

...which leads me to something not present - there nothing really about the struggle of piracy against the Empire. Looking at Curse of the Black Pearl... we see piracy is in danger. The Black Pearl itself is described as the last great pirate threat the British Navy needs to conquer. Hangings are omnipresent - Jack is sentenced to die by one almost as soon as he's introduced to the story, when his only act so far had been to wander around and save Elizabeth from drowning. OFMD tries to invoke this kind of struggle in 2x08, but there's no foundation. Our Navy antagonists are Stede's childhood bullies, and so focused on Stede the crew isn't even in danger when they get caught. The Republic of Pirates is getting jokes about being gentrified, not besieged.

Even the capture of Blackbeard by the Navy is treated as a feather in Wellington's cap but not a huge symbolic blow against piracy... because we just do not have that grand struggle woven into Act 1. You only know the "Golden Age of Piracy" is ending if you google it, or have watched a bunch of pirate shows.

Overall, a solid Act 1, well adapted to the kind of story they've said they were looking to tell - a romance in the (silly-fied) age of piracy, instead of a pirate adventure with a romantic subplot.

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Now, Sidebar - Where is the story going?

The thing about the dramatic question - in OFMD's case: "What is Stede and Edward's happy ending?" - is that a) there's normally more than one question bundled up in that one + sideplots, and b) while you aren't supposed to have the answer yet, you can usually guess what needs to happen to give you the answer.

Back to our examples... Luke's driving question is "Will the Empire be defeated?" Simple. Straightforward. Also: "Will Luke become a Jedi?" The eventual climax of our story from there is pretty obvious... the story is over when Luke wins the war for the Rebellion in a Jedi way. That's the goal that they are working toward.

Pirates of the Caribbean is a bit more complicated. We're juggling more characters and have a less defined heroic journey, but there are driving questions like "Is Jack Sparrow a good man?" and "Is Will Turner a pirate / what does that mean?" and even "Will the British Navy defeat piracy?" They get basic answers in Curse of the Black Pearl, and far more defined ones in At World's End. Still, this is another plot-driven narrative. They've laid the foundations for the Pirates vs Empire struggle, and when that final battle turns into the trilogy climax then you know what's happening.

OFMD is not doing a plot-driven narrative. To judge how they are doing at their goals, we have to ask what they think a happy ending entails in a character sense.

Clearly it's not the classic romantic sideplot, where the climax is the first kiss / acknowledgement of feelings. They've teased a wedding in Word of God comments a lot, so that's probably our better endpoint. Specifically, though, a wedding where both of our protagonists aren't ready to flee from the altar (big ask) and where they've both grown enough that their flaws / mutual tendencies to run away from life problems won't tank the relationship.

In Stede's case it's still massive feelings of inadequacy and being too repressed to talk about his problems. Also he ran away from his family to chase a lifelong dream of being a pirate - "Is Stede going to find fulfillment in being a pirate captain, or will the real answer be love?" Edward meanwhile expresses a desire to quit piracy and retire Blackbeard, but we also find out he's struggling with massive self-loathing and guilt from killing his father - "Is retiring what Edward wants to do, or is he just running away?"

If they are going to get to a satisfying wedding beat at the climax of their story, what character beats do we need to hit in advance?

Off the top of my head - both characters need to self-realize their flaws (a pretty necessary demand of anyone who runs away from problems). They are set up to balance each other well, but also to miscommunicate easily. They have to tell each other about or verbally acknowledge that self-realization so it can be resolved. Stede has to decide how much being a pirate means to him. Edward has to decide if he's retiring and what he wants to do. They both need to show something to do with getting past their childhood traumas given all the flashbacks. Through all this, they also need to hit the normal romance beats that convince the audience they are romantically attracted to each other and like... want to get married.

Oh, and this is more of a genre-specific sideplot, but once they demonstrate a behavior that hurts the people who work for them, they need to then demonstrate later how it won't happen again. Proof of growth, which is kind of important in a comedy where a lot of the humor is based in them being massively self-centered assholes. Stede doesn't earn his acceptance in the community until he kicks Calico Jack off the ship, making up for causing the situation with Nigel in the first episode. A workplace comedy can get a lot of material from the boss as the worker's antagonist, but if you want the bosses to stay sympathetic you have got to throw them some opportunities to earn it.

All that sounds like a lot, but like - the relationship is the story, right? If we spend so much time on establishing flaws big enough to drive a story, we also have to spend time on fixing them. Which is where the turning point hits.

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Act 2: How it Starts

This is where the full story reality-checks your protagonist. Glad you saved your boyfriend and embraced new love in Act 1, but his repressed guilt means he's about to completely ghost you, and your own abandonment issues and self-loathing are about to make his dick move into everyone else's problem.

Again, it's a non-conventional choice OFMD has this start at the very end of S1 rather than with a sudden dark turn in the S2 premiere, but it's still pretty clearly that point in the Three Act Structure.

In Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back opens with a timeskip to our Rebellion getting absolutely crushed and hiding on a miserable frozen planet. The Empire finds them as the plot is kicking off and they have to desperately flee. They get separated. Han and Leia try to go to an ally for help and end up in Vader's clutches. It's a sharp turn from the victorious note that A New Hope ended on.

Pirates of the Caribbean's Act 2 starts dark. Dead Man's Chest opens with our happy couple Will and Elizabeth getting arrested on their wedding day for the "happy end" escape of the last movie. Jack has not been having success since reclaiming his ship, and we'll soon find out he's being hunted by dark forces. As for the general state of piracy, we get a horrifying prison where pirates are being eaten alive by crows, and a new Lord Beckett making the dying state of piracy even more textual. "Jack Sparrow is a dying breed... The world is shrinking."

The key here is making a point that our heroes aren't ready. This is the struggles part - things they try? Fail. The odds do not look to be in their favor.

Now, OFMD apparently decided to go all-in on flaw exploration, especially with Edward. The first 3 episodes of S2 are brutally efficient in outlining Edward's backslide. In S1 you could see he had issues with guilt and feeling like a bad person. S2 devolves that into a destructive, suicidal spiral where Edward forces his crew into three months of consecutive raids, repeats his shocking act of cruelty with Izzy's toe offscreen (more than once!), escalates it with his leg, and finally they state directly that Edward hates himself for killing his dad so much that he fears he's fundamentally unlovable and better off dead.

Stede's struggles are subtler, but most definitely still there. He's deliberately turning a blind eye to tales of Edward's rampage, half from simply being too self-centered to care about the harms Edward causes others, and half from being unable to face or fathom that he had the ability to hurt Edward that much. Upon reunion he wants to put the whole thing behind them, not addressing why he left in the first place. Very "love magically fixes everything" of him, except Stede is no golden merman.

Interestingly, here, BlackBonnet's relationship dysfunction has very clearly been having a negative impact on the surrounding characters we care about. Make sense, since it's the driving force of the story, but that also adds a lot more relationships we need to make right. Like... Edward is the villain to his crew. The show focuses on their trauma and poisoned relationships with him. And then draws our attention even more to Stede taking his side to overrule their objections to him.

For a story where the conflict and required resolutions are primarily character based, and the setup had already given the main couple a good amount to work with, dedicating a lot of S2 to adding more ground to cover was... a choice. Potentially very compelling on the character end, certainly challenging on the writing end... but not a complete break with the structure.

Bold, but not damning.

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Act 2: How it Ends

Now it is true that Act 2 tends to end on a loss. Luke is defeated by Vader and loses his hand, and Han has been sent away in carbonite. Jack Sparrow for all his efforts cannot escape his fate, and he and the Pearl are dragged to the locker.

But the loss is not the point. The loss is incidental to the point.

Act 2 is about struggles and failure, but it's also about lessons learned. There's a change that occurs, and our cast - defeated but not broken - enters the final act with the essential skills, motivation, knowledge, etc. that they lacked in the beginning.

Luke Skywalker could not have defeated the Empire in Return of the Jedi until he'd learned the truth about his father and resisted the Dark Side in The Empire Strikes Back. (Ok, confession, I'm using Star Wars as an example because literally everyone is doing so, but frankly it's a better example of formulaic Three Act Structure repeating within each movie because on a trilogy level - relevant to this comparison - it is a super basic hero's journey in a very recognized outfit and as such the Act 2 relevance is also... super basic "the hero tries to fight the antagonist too early" beat where he learns humility. Not really a lot going on. So, for the better example...)

Dead Man's Chest has a downer ending with the closing moment of the survivors regaining hope and a plan against an enemy now on the verge of total victory - a classic Act 2. But in that first loss against Davy Jones we get Will's personal motivation and oath to stab the heart, Jack finally overcoming not knowing what he wanted and returning to save them from the Kraken (being a good man), Elizabeth betraying Jack (being a pirate), Barbossa's return, and Norrington's choice to bargain for his prior life back. The mission to retrieve Jack from the World's End is the final movie's plot, but things are already on track to turn the tables back around as we enter the finale.

Now, relevant sidenote - one major difference between Three Act Structure within a single work vs across three parts is that Act 2 continues into Part 3, and only tips over into Act 3 about midway through. This is because obviously your final movie or season cannot just be the climax. That's why both movie examples start with a rescue mission. They have to still be missing something so they can get the plot of their third part accelerating while they go get whatever that something is.

But if you wait until the 3rd movie / season to get the development going at all - you're fucked.

Jack's decision in the climax of At World's End to make Elizabeth into the Pirate King goes back to the development we saw in the Pearl vs Kraken fight in Dead Man's Chest. So does Elizabeth's leadership arc. Will's whole arc about becoming Captain of the Dutchman gets built upon in the third movie, but it starts in the second. Not just as an idle thought - he's actively pursuing it. Already consciously weighing saving his father vs getting back to Elizabeth as soon as he makes the oath. Everyone is moving forward in Act 2. Their remaining development might stumble for drama, or they might be a bit reluctant, but I know that they know better than to let it stick, because they already faced their true crisis points.

I'm not sure we can say the same about OFMD.

S2 does a good job of adding problems, yeah, but there's not really any movement on fixing them. Our main couple stagnates in some ways, and regresses in others.

Stede opened Act 2 by running away in the middle of the night back to his wife without telling Edward anything. We know he did it because of feeling guilty and his core childhood trauma of his dad calling him a weak and inadequate failure. Now in S1 he actually speedruns a realization of his shitty behavior with Mary, but what about S2? Well...

He continues to not talk to Edward about... pretty much anything. My guy practiced love confessions galore but Edward only finds out about going back to his wife via Anne, and it gets brushed aside with a love confession. He seems to think Edward wants him to be a dashing pirate, or maybe he just thinks he should be a dashing pirate. Idk, it doesn't get examined. Regarding his captaincy, they give him an episode plot about Izzy teaching him to respect the crew's beliefs, but this is sideplot to a larger arc of him completely overruling their traumas and concerns (and shushing their objections) to keep his boyfriend on the ship so. That.

Stede kills a man for reasons related to his issues, shoves that down inside and has sex with Edward instead of acknowledging any bad feelings. At least this time Edward was there and knows it happened? Neither Chauncey's death nor his dad have been mentioned to anyone. He gets a day of piracy fame that goes to his head, gets dumped, and ends on a complete beat down by Zheng where he learns... idk. Being a boor is bad? He's still wildly callous to her in the finale, and spends the whole time seeking validation of his pirate skills. He reunites with Edward, kisses, and quotes Han Solo.

Where S1 ended on a great fuckery, his S2 naval uniform plan after they regroup is ill defined except to call it a suicide mission - and we don't get to see what it would have been because it devolves into a very straightforward fight and flee. And gets Izzy killed. Quick cut funeral (no acknowledgement of his S2 bonding with Izzy), quick cut to wedding (foreshadowing), quick cut to... innkeeper retirement? Unclear when or even if BlackBonnet discussed Stede's whole driving dream to be a pirate and live a life at sea, but I guess that got a big priority downgrade. Despite the fact he was literally looking to Zheng for pirate-based compliments in the post-funeral scene.

I guess he's borderline-delusionally dogged in his pursuit of love now - so unlikely to bolt again - but he's also got at least a decade of experience mentally checking out in a state of repression when he's unhappy. And he's stopped being as supportive and caring toward the crew in that dogged pursuit, while arguably demonstrating a loss in leadership skills, so, um, good thing someone else is in charge?

And if Stede is a mess, Edward's arc is so much worse.

As established, they devote the Kraken to making Edward worse. He literally wants to kill himself and destroy everyone around him in the process because Stede left, and this is fixed by... Stede coming back. That's it. The crew tries to murder him and then exiles him from the ship (and Izzy takes the lead on both, indicating exactly how isolated Edward has become), but it's resolved in half a day by Stede just forcing them to put up with his boyfriend again. Like they think he murdered Buttons and still have to move him back in???

The show consistently depicts Kraken Era as a transgression against the crew, but they also avoid showing Edward acting with genuine contrition. He admits he historically doesn't apologize for anything, and then mostly still doesn't. It's a joke that he's approaching probation as a performance (CEO apology), and then the only person he genuinely talks to is Fang - the one guy cool with him - and the only person who gets a basic "sorry" is Izzy - the guy he really needs to be talking to. Edward's primary trauma is guilt, but apparently he only feels it abstractly after all that? He's only concerned with fixing things with Stede, despite Stede being about the only person around who hurt him instead of the reverse.

Speaking of primary traumas, Edward hating himself doesn't really go anywhere after the beat of self-realization. Apparently Stede still loving him is enough of a bandaid to end the suicide chasing, but he doesn't like. Acknowledge that. Edward is maybe sorta trying to go slow so he doesn't hang all his self-worth on Stede again (you can speculate), but they a) absolutely fail to go slow, and b) he doesn't make any attempt to develop himself or another support structure. Just basically... "let's be friends a bit before hooking back up." And then we get the whiplash that is Blackbeard and/or retirement.

Kraken Era is Blackbeard but way worse, like no one who has known Blackbeard has ever seen him. In the Gravy Basket Edward claims he might like being an innkeeper, before destroying his own fantasy by having the spectre of Hornigold confront him over killing his dad. The BlackBonnet to Anne & Mary parallel says running away to China / retiring makes you want to kill each other - burn it all down and go back to piracy. Stede rightfully points out prior retirement plans were whims. Edward gets sick of the penance sack after a day and puts his leathers back on to go try "poison into positivity". But also claims to be an innkeeper (look - two whole mentions!) when trying not to send children to be pirates after teaching them important knife skills.

Killing Ned Low is a serious, bad thing that prompts ill-advised sex and then going hardcore into retirement mode - leathers overboard, talk about mermaid fantasy, get retirement blessings from Izzy, end up dumping Stede for a fishing job instead of talking about how he's enjoying piracy. The fishing job, however, is also a bad thing and a stupid decision because Edward is a lazy freeloader fantasizing about being a better person. We have an uncomfortable, extended scene of "Pop-Pop" weirdly echoing his abusive dad and then sending Edward to go do what he's good at - disassociate, brutally murder two guys, fish up the leathers, rise as the Kraken from the sea. He continues with comically efficient murder but also he's reading Stede's love letters and seeking to reunite with him so... wait, is this a good thing? Post makeout / mass slaughter he's trading compliments on his kills with Zheng so. Yeah. Looks like it. Murder is fine.

Wait, no, skip ahead and Izzy is dying and Edward suddenly cares a whole lot as Izzy makes his death scene about freeing Edward from Blackbeard. Now being a pirate was "encouraging the darkness" because Izzy - a guy who had little to no influence over Edward's behavior - just couldn't let Blackbeard go. Murder is bad again, and he is freed. Minus the little detail that the murder he explicitly hates himself over was not related to Blackbeard or piracy whatsoever, so presumably haunts "just Ed" still. Anyway he's retiring to run an inn with Stede now, as the "loving family" Izzy comforted him with in his dying moments sails away from the couple that can best be described as the antagonists of their S2 arc. Also Edward implicitly wants to get married. It's been 3 days since making out was "too fast". He's still wearing the leathers.

So most of the way through Act 2 and Edward's barely on speaking terms with anyone but Stede, who he has once again hung his entire life on really fast? Crushing guilt leads to self-hatred leads to mass murder and suicide, but only if he's upset so just avoid that. He's still regularly idealizing Stede as a non-fucked up golden mermaid person (that maybe he personally ruined a bit) because he barely knows the guy. His only progress on his future is "pirate" crossed out / rewritten / crossed out again a few times, "fisherman" crossed out, and "innkeeper ?"

Just.

Where is the forward movement?

It's not just that the inn will undoubtedly fall apart - it's that the inn will fall apart for the near-exact same reasons that China was going to at the beginning of Act 2, and I can't point to anything they've learned in the time since that will help them. I guess Stede realized he loved Edward enough to chase after him, but that was in S1! They should be further than this by now. You can't cram another crisis backslide, all the Act 2 development, and the full Act 3 climax into one season. Certainly not without it feeling like the characters magically fix themselves.

If they just fail and keep blindly stumbling into the same issues because they don't change their behavior, then Act 2 doesn't work. You're just repeating the turning point between Act 1 & Act 2 on a loop.

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Where Did They Fuck Up?

Actually... lets start on what they did right.

The one consistent aspect of S2 that I praised and still think was done well in a vacuum (despite being mostly left out of the finale) was the crew's union-building arc.

With only 8 episodes and more to do in them than S1, side characters were going to get pinched even if the main plot was absolutely flawless. That was unavoidable. With budget cuts / scheduling issues, we regularly have crew members simply vanish offscreen outside of one scene, meaning cohesive arcs for your faves was not likely. Not to say they couldn't have done better - my benefit of the doubt for the TealOranges breakup and Oluwande x Zheng dried up about when I realized he was literally just her Stede stand-in for the parallel - but something like Jim's revenge plot from S1 was realistically not on the table without, like, turning half the crew into seagulls to afford it.

The union building works around this constraint really well. They turn "the crew" into the side arc, and then weave Izzy's beats in so that they aren't just about Izzy. The breakup boat crew working together to comfort each other and protect him turns them into a unit, and Stede's crew taking it upon themselves to address the trauma vibes while the captains aren't in the way solidifies it across all our side characters. The crew goes to war with Stede's cursed coat and wins, they Calypso their boss to throw a party, and they capitalize on a chance to make bank with an efficiency Stede could only dream of.

We don't get specific arcs, but Frenchie, Jim, and Oluwande are defaulted to as leaders in just about every situation, and Roach is constantly shown sharing his inventions with different characters. Individuals can dip in and out without feeling like the sideplots stutter. Any sense of community in S2 is coming from this arc - even if there are cracks at the points where it joins to other storylines (Stede and Edward, Zheng, etc.)

So why does it work? Well, because it's a workplace comedy, and you can tell they are familiar with working on those. They know where the beats are. They know where to find the humor. They know how to build off of S1 because they made sure the bones were already there - an eclectic group of individuals that start as just coworkers, but bond over time in the face of their struggle against an inept boss who they grow to care for and support while maintaining an increasingly friendly antagonism because, you know, inept boss.

OFMD does its best work in S2 when it's being true to its original concept... and its worst work when it seemingly loses confidence in its own premise.

"The show is the relationship," right? It's a romance set in a workplace comedy. The setup of Act 1 was all about creating a character-driven narrative. So given that... where the hell are we getting the dying of piracy and a war against the English Navy?

That's not a character-driven romcom backdrop, it's an action-adventure plot from Pirates of the Caribbean or Black Sails. It's plot-driven, creating an antagonistic force that results in your characters' problems. Once the story is about the fight against the Empire, the dramatic question becomes the same as those adventure stories - "Will the British Navy defeat piracy, and will our protagonists come out the other side of the battle?"

Forget the wedding. The wedding is no longer the climax of the story, its back to the happy ending flash our romantic subplot gets after winning this fight.

Except, of course, trying to pivot your story to a contradictory dramatic question near the end of Act 2 can be nothing short of a disaster, because either you were writing the wrong story until now, or you've completely lost the plot of the real one. I shouldn't even be trying to figure out if they are doing this, because it should be so obvious that they wouldn't.

And yet.

What do the Zheng and Ricky plots add to the story if not this? Neither of these characters have anything emotionally to contribute to Stede and Edward - they truly are plot elements. It's a hard break from the S1 antagonist model, but it also takes up a lot of valuable screentime. This was considered important, but still Zheng's personality and motivation only gets explored so far as it's an Edward-Stede-Izzy parallel with Oluwande and Auntie, and they only need the parallel for Izzy's genre-jumping death scene. Which follows a thematically out-of-left-field speech about how piracy is about belonging to something good (workable) and how Ricky could never destroy their spirits (um...?). And then David Jenkins is pointing to it and saying things about "the symbolic death of piracy" and speculating S3 might be about the crew getting "payback"??? An idea floated by Zheng right before our temporary retirement, btw.

Fuck, the final episode of S2 didn't have time for our main couple to talk to each other because it was so busy dealing with the mass explosion of Zheng's fleet and Ricky's victory gloat. We get lethal violence associated with traumatic flashbacks until they need to cut down enemy mooks like it's nothing, at which point we get jokes with Zheng. The Republic of Pirates is destroyed outright, and it feels like they only did it because they got insecure about their "pirate story" not having the right kind of stakes. Don't even get me started on killing a major character because "Piracy’s a dangerous occupation, and some characters should die," as if suspending disbelief on this aspect makes the story somehow lesser, instead of just being a fairly standard genre convention in comedy. Nobody complains about Kermit the Frog having an improbably good survival record.

Did someone tell them that the heroes have to lose a battle near the end of Act 2, so they scrambled to give them one?

Just... compare the wholly plot-driven struggle in 2x08 to Stede and Edward's character-focused storylines in 1x10 and tell me how 2x08 is providing anything nearly as valuable to the story. Because I can't fucking find it.

At best they wasted a bunch of time on a poorly integrated adventure plot as, like, Zheng's backstory or something, and just fucked it up horribly by trying to "step up" the kind of plot they did for Jim. In which case the whole thing will be awkwardly dropped but damage is done. Otherwise, they actually thought they could just casually add a subplot like this because they've done something wildly stupid like think "pirate" is a genre on the same level as "workplace comedy" and can just trample in-universe coherency while you draw on other media to shore up their unsupported beats.

Bringing us to the most infuriating bit...

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"...end the second season in a kinder spot."

If this was the goal, the entire season was written to work actively against it in way that is baffling and incompetent.

The really ironic thing is that the reason that the Act 2 part typically gets a downer ending is because of the evil empire that OFMD did not have to deal with until they pointlessly added it. A plot-driven story has an antagonistic force - a villain - that the heroes need to defeat. Something external working against them. The story ends when they beat the thing, and it's not much of a climax if they do most of the defeating before you get there. Ergo, they have to be outmatched up to the climax. Ergo, the second part cannot end on them feeling pretty comfortable and confident going into the third.

The same rules do not apply in the same way to a character-driven arc.

We already established Edward and Stede declaring their love is not the end of the story. Nor, necessarily, is both of them confidently entering a relationship. Even once they've developed a bunch they will have to show that development by running into the kinds of problems that would have broken them up before and resolving them better.

David Jenkins keeps talking about this idea that S2 is getting a hopeful open ending and S3 will get into potential problems, and like... I don't see any reason why they couldn't have done that successfully. They didn't, but they could've.

If S2 grew them enough as characters and then had them agree to try again in the last minute of the finale, they absolutely could have had a kind and hopeful ending where you were confident they could do it. And then a potential S3 can show that. It's a bit rockier than they were counting on, but they have learned enough lessons to not break up. And then the overall plot can build to proposal (start of Act 3) and wedding (the romantic climax). It doesn't have to be a blow out fight to be emotionally cathartic.

(Hell, the main rockier bit that they overcome in the S3 Act 2 portions could be marriage baggage. I'm sure they both have some. It would work.)

In the same way focusing on our character's long term flaws and character-driven conflict makes an Act 1 "happy ending" more difficult, I suspect it makes an Act 2 "happy ending" easier.

Instead they wrote an Act 2 that failed to convincingly start development and got confused on its direction, and then presented a rushed finale ending in a copy of the predictable disaster from S1 as though it's a good thing. They yanked the story at least temporarily into an awkward place where a romcom is trying to sell me on a bunch of serious drama / adventure beats that it has not put the work into, and inviting comparisons to better versions of those same beats in other, more suited media that make it look worse. The need to portray everyone as reaching happy closure overrules sitting with a major character death and using it for any narrative significance, while still letting it overshadow those happy endings because a romcom just sloppily killed a major character with a wound they've literally looked into the camera and said was harmless.

If I'm being entirely honest, Dead Man's Chest ends effectively at Jack Sparrow's funeral and then cuts to the British Navy obtaining a weapon of mass destruction, and it still feels kinder and more hopeful just because I leave with more faith the characters are actively capable of and working toward solving their problems.

OFMD S2, in contrast, has half-convinced me our main couple would live in a mutually obsessed, miscommunication-ridden horror story until they die.

---

Additional Reading

Normally I link stuff like this in the post, but that requires more excitement than I'm feeling right now. Here's my alternative:

Where I thought they were going with Edward - really outlines the mountain of character development they still have unaddressed

Where I thought they were going with Izzy - touches on a lot of themes that might be dead in the water & also context that's still probably relevant to why Izzy got a lot of focus in S2

My scattershot 2x08 reactions

An ask where I sketched out the bones of this argument, and another where I was mostly venting about the fandom response

This one, this other one, and this last one (read the link in op's post too) about genre shifts and failure to pull them off

The trauma goes in the box but it never opens back up - the whole point of Act 2 is that they needed to start opening shit like that - and also they focus so much on needed character growth and so little on following through

They can't even carry through on character growth that we got last season???

Why Izzy's death feels like Bury Your Gays ran smack into shitty writing

EDIT: Oh and this post is REALLY good for outlining the lack of change in way less words than I did

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd meta #three act structure #character arcs #blackbonnet #genre #blackbeard ofmd #stede bonnet ofmd #my meta #ladyluscinia #ofmd critical

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yujeong · 3 months

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I am deeply fascinated by White's fear.

I have no idea whatsoever why this boy believes he's dirty/filthy, or why he thinks Tee specifically would view him that way. The show has given us all but mere glimpses of his POV and none have managed to give me a concrete reason for it. But this is what makes it so interesting. Even with only 1 episode left, the writers can do wonders with this. Throughout the show, but especially in Ep11, we see White being pretty open about his attraction/love to Tee. He's the one who pursued him, who flirted with him, who went to visit him at his job everyday, who tutored him, who *kissed* him. Is this why he feels that way? It can't be, right? The boy is doing all this in public, it's not shame for his sexuality that's the issue. So, the other conclusion is that it's about sex. It makes him feel dirty, it makes him feel that *Tee* himself views him as dirty, even though he loves White and he loves having sex with White, something I'm sure White himself knows as well. Going back to Ep1, we do get some indication about White's fear, though it could be just me grasping at straws here:

1) During the first TeeWhite scene we got, White gets a hallucination of the masked murderer standing in the woods, watching them, while he's making out with Tee. He stops and says this:

Tee dismisses White's worries, saying everyone's inside the house so there's nobody to watch them, and White does this face:

and needs a few seconds to get back into it after they start kissing again. 2) When they return to the others and Top asks them if they had sex, White's reaction is this:

and later, when Top asks if he could participate too, White's reaction is this:

White doesn't really show evident discomfort, but he doesn't show indifference either. The main argument in favor of that is the fact that he appeared in front of others like this:

and after Top's comments, he is now like this:

He fixed his T-shirt in order for it to be tucked away in his pants, something he didn't even intend to do before Top's comments. He became self-conscious. 3) When the gang go to the CCTV room to find out where Por has gone, they stumble upon the TeeWhite scene of them kissing on the balcony. White's reaction is this:

which is followed, by this:

and then, by this:

White looks incredibly out of his depth and ashamed, mainly due to Top's attitude which is why he glances at his direction more than once. It's the most evident example we get in the series. Also, I find Tee's words here interesting. He says "My little one will cry, change the camera", meaning he knows other people knowing more about their sex life makes White feel embarrassed. Just a small detail that makes me curious. I believe it's due to example 3 that White gets this hallucination later in Ep2:

My main reason for this is the position. As many people have pointed out, it's at the place Tee mostly kissed him: his neck, spreading over his shoulder. All in all, I refuse to believe White is simply vain, especially since it's such a big fear of his that he has hallucinations about Tee feeling disgusted with him. It all just leaves me so puzzled. Just... White. Who are you?

#I can't wait for Ep12 #why isn't Friday coming faster?#I need more about White omg #I won't get much I know #50 minutes can only do so much #but still I love him as a character so much I want to chew concrete #teewhite #white dff #dead friend forever

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vaguely-concerned · 2 years

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after some reflection I've reached the conclusion that to my mind nona the ninth did need to be its own book -- not in terms of delivering the plot or character developments, necessarily, but to be a thematic mirror to harrow the ninth in a way I don't think you could have done if this was also trying to do its job as the last book of a trilogy.

harrow the ninth is about the horror of nothing changing -- the grim, unending slog of mental illness, the inexorable method in madness grinding along, grinding you down, moment upon moment; it's about how grief can seem to create its own pockets of eternity. it's about how some things can only be remembered in forgetting.

nona the ninth is about the horror of everything changing all the time forever -- the people you love, until they aren't quite the people you loved any more, the places you love, until it's become somewhere you can never go back to, the world, every day -- you, until you die one way or another, in truth or in no longer recognizing yourself. you go to school for the hour of science and noodle every day, until one day you just don't anymore, and nothing can be done about that. nona is about 'life is too short, and love is too long', but also 'you can't take 'loved' away'. pyrrha, who's tried for ten thousand years to kill her feelings but "Don't worry, kiddie. I'll keep loving you -- my problem is I don't know how to stop." even when it just hurts us, we love. we just can't help ourselves. and at the end alecto remembers herself (itself?), which means forgetting nona.

the strange paradoxical comfort of madness vs. the unbearable loneliness of sanity. harrow is mad, and for all her suffering it keeps her from having to face the most inconceivable, the thing she can't live with: a universe without gideon. cam and pal are so so sane, and they can't bear it. they die to live in a way they can... uh, well, live with, and it's a crazy thing to do but it's the kindest thing they could find for themselves. the world of harrow the ninth is so dead and deadened, and the world of nona is so unbearably alive.

(ironically ntn was a much more difficult read for me than htn, because the way htn works is already so close to how my own mind works (yes, unfortunately, really. no, I'm not okay, but not in a way anyone can do anything about with any immediacy so let's ignore that for now lol). I understand the logic of it intimately, for all it looks confusing if you just see the surface. but the ongoing nature of the restless dread in ntn -- the way you love these people, and through the book they keep drifting away from you so steadily and gradually that you can't even put your finger on exactly when you really lost them as they were at the beginning. at the end, when pyrrha is carrying nona because she can't stand anymore (carrying her in 'the halo of her arms'...... god. yes, that is what a parent feels like for a child huh), I vicariously felt what I suspect is pyrrha's train of thought as well that like... what if you could just hold her close enough, love her hard enough, that she won't have to go, that she could get to live. what if you could just refuse to let go of her, what if you could be strong enough for that. and one person in this universe is that strong-- why would you let someone go -- away from you -- untouchable? John's obsession with being able to touch his loved ones, except he's so profoundly fucked up he doesn't understand any way to do it but to make them into extensions of himself, to consume them and transform them into himself, the very hungry caterpillar style -- he wanted to touch so he made them his hands, and he doesn't understand why it doesn't fulfil him. and thank god pyrrha has the soul and sense to understand why you can't just eat what you love, narrowly, but I still wanted her to be able to still hold nona and protect her from everything including death so fucking bad, and of course she can't. that's the tragedy of it, that's the beauty of it. love doesn't change anything, and we just can't help but love anyway, and it changes everything, and it's all we can do sometimes. fuck I'm going to need a lot of lying face down on the floor for a few hours to process this book huh lmao)

#nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #ntn spoilers #the locked tomb spoilers #nona spoilers #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #tl;dr: nona the ninth fucked me up okay don't look at me lol #harrow the ninth is still my favourite of the series because that book recognized me in a way few other things have #but muir is Doing Some Shit in ntn holy fuck #the locked tomb meta #I'm. I'm going to go have a shower to calm down probably I think haha

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bonefall · 3 months

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Looking for advice since you're great with stuff like this: I'm struggling with how to have a character fundamentally change. A character in my cat story loses his memory and ends up working with the main characters to stop his own plan he made to destroy the world (and after the plan is stopped, he regains his memories). I want his time in the Starless to change him, make him less obsessed with power, but I'm really starting to struggle with whether or not that makes sense and how to work that.

Hmm.. well, first bit of advice I always give is that characters are not people. They are writing tools. That doesn't mean they shouldn't be "realistic" or that connecting to the human traits in the audience isn't important.

It means that a character exists to tell a story.

By "tool" I mean "machine." Every trait is a piston, and ideally they work together to drive your story along. What are you saying with each trait? What is your beginning point for the story, and their end? What do you want to explore? What do you want the audience to take away?

So if you feel stuck on a character, find the larger message you want to impart with them. The job they're doing in your narrative.

What do you want to say about power?

What do you want to say about why Character X wanted to destroy the world? Why was he wrong? What feelings and information lead him to that conclusion?

What is his redemption arc doing for your themes?

Every writer answers those questions differently. For example, I feel strongly that power doesn't corrupt, it reveals. When you finally have the influence to make others do what you want, you make them do it. I don't see "power" as being like... a magic, abstract thing, it's influence over other people, and those people are ALSO individuals with their own reasons for following the leader.

Digressing; what I'm getting at is that, as a writer, I have a lot of thoughts on power itself. I got this way with a lot of reading and interest on the topic. You might find it insightful to experience more art, essays, and commentary on the subject, if you ever get stuck, and develop an opinion you feel strongly about.

Not just about power, as broad writing advice.

Anyway.

If I was writing the character, these are the things I'd be thinking about specifically and changes I'd be making on personal taste. I don't know your full story enough so, hopefully it's insightful;

First of all I'm always SUPER wary of the "correct but demonized radical" trope. Does my villain have a point?

Am i just giving them a Kick-a-Baby scene to make them wrong when they should be completely right otherwise

What are my themes and tone? This is VERY important. Steven Universe is about family and emotions with low stakes violence; the Diamonds are essentially abusive grandparents that Steven is coaching through intergenerational trauma. They fit the universe they're in. Jack Horner does not belong in SU.

So I'd look at Character X's purpose.

Knowing me, I'd actually take out full amnesia entirely. I have memory problems related to trauma so I'm a lot more familiar with major, important details blotting out RIGHT when I need them. Enough that I can put myself in the shoes of someone like BB!Fallenleaf who remembers a lot but the details are fuzzy.

So personally I think I could write this villan to be VERY funny lmao

"Hello. I am Gnagnathor the Destroyer."

"No you're not. He has three horns. You have two."

(DID I USED TO HAVE THREE HORNS?????)

I also just find it more resonant when a character still remembers what they did, why they did it, and is able to refute themselves with their own growth.

To me like... when a character remembers NOTHING to the point where they're not informed by their actions or history at all, how are they really still the same person?

in general though I find total amnesia uninteresting. I wish it was less popular.

What did Gnagnathor DO with his power? What did he WANT from it?

The simplest version of this I know is "Gnag was hurting and wanted everyone else to hurt too. Now that he has a happy place, he doesn't want that."

TO BE CLEAR THATS FINE. That's a REALLY common power fantasy and it's not automatically a bad story. It's popular for a reason.

Personally I feel strongly about the idea, though, that people with power don't change unless they lose it. There's no reason to.

People don't change until you break the environment that contributes to the behavior.

Especially with victims unfortunately-- the ugly truth is that a lot of problematic behaviors exist because they protected the victim from their abuser's actions. You need safety to really start to unpack that.

You can personally identify it and address it as much as you want, when your abuser starts to use That Tone you will still seize up. Just try to yank yourself back into your head when you're disassociating during a screaming session; your reward is raw distress.

That said, not all villains HAVE to have tragic motivators like that, or be ex-victims at all. Leveraging power to get what you want can be as ugly as just being taught the people you're hurting are subhuman.

Or making up justifications for why This Is a Good Thing Actually.

Some people will lash out violently when these justifications fall apart, because accepting it would mean they're Being Bad

Most people have an innate desire to Be Good. Like... the vast, vast majority of people. Some sense of morality is observable in all intelligent social animals; dolphins, chimps, elephants.

Tangentially, if you understand that people don't WANT to be bad and that the natural response to a scolding is defensiveness, you understand that convincing people of something is a LOT easier when you approach with kindness.

AND IN TURN: be wary of those who are flattering while trying to convince you of something. This is Manipulation 101.

So back to Gnagnathor

Do I want to talk about environment and how it changes him to be away from power? How traits that previously earned him wealth or influence are suddenly incredibly taboo, so he can't use them here?

On that-- HOW did he get his power in the first place? Re: I'm very wary of the "correct but demonized radical" trope.

Were his minions following him because they have serious issues and he exploited their desperation? .....are you centering the experience of the poor, sad abuser over his victims

Or are they ALL united over something important and legitimate? With the redemption of their villainous leader, how are you planning for that to frame all of their former followers?

(This is why redeeming minions is usually a lot more productive than doing it to the leader, imo. Redeeming Zuko means you can explore the familial legacy, the indoctrination of the Fire Nation's children, their justifications, the way systems make monsters out of people. Redeeming The Firelord would probably have caused Azula, one of his victims, to pick up his slack and now, suddenly, you have a VERY uncomfortable situation where Ozai is thrashing one of his abused children but Good This Time.)

(Not to mention that, again... why would he do this. He has power. He's doing what he wants and is used to this situation. It would be a numbskulled narrative choice.)

Aaaand that's about all I can say without essentially being a cowriter or editor. It's on you to figure out what you're trying to do and say here. I'm a good writer on this subject because I think about it a lot, which has lead to my strong opinions and point of view. Your art is a reflection of you.

#This is mega off topic but the question kinda reminds me of hazbin which I watched a couple days ago #I'm starting to identify why I was dissatisfied with it I think #I didn't dislike it though and I'm waiting for the next season #If only as something I enjoyed but wish could be better.#Bones gives advice

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morskisir · 6 months

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Answer to this ask I had to post seperately because I reached the character limit or something.

OHHHH Anon you are not ready. I think about this bastard so much and too deeply.

Before I get into it:

I love how you worded this question- gives a nice atmosphere.

Just to be clear this is all about RED Sniper. I apologise to any BLU Sniper enjoyers for I don't have thoughts about that guy.

I'm not the biggest fan of the comics for many reasons so don't mind me retconning a lot of that.

In the end these are all MY opinions and views of him- if you don't like them that's no problem. It's free real estate.

And FINALLY; my thoughts, under read more:

OKAY, let's start with what even got me to interpret him the way that I do; hell yeah baby, it's Meet the Sniper time.

I've seen MANY people often assume that Sniper is one of the most normal/chill people of the 2fort nine- but the impression I got is that he wants you to think he's normal so desperately despite everything else pointing to how fucking weird he actually is. Simply noticing the stuff he's saying makes it a lot more clear. The very beginning where he goes "Boom, headshot," making light of taking another person's life so swiftly. "Cause at the end of the day; as long as there's two people left on the planet- someone is gonna want someone dead," really positive light you see the world in, Sniper.

Of course you can take this as him being "realistic", and I do agree he's more of a realist than a pessimist or optimist, but "...have a plan to kill everyone you meet," is SO fucked up. Why is his first thought when meeting someone to know how to kill them? This to me is him not being able to properly connect to other people/understand them or actually SEE them as people. Not to mention his smile after delivering that shot in the timelapse of him sniping (AND after stabbing Spy). This cunt enjoys killing. He's not the type to slowly kill someone or torture them- but he is the type to feel satisfaction after planting a bullet in someone; give himself a pat on the back for it- or perhaps find humour in the kill.

The conclusion this brought me to is that he is an unreliable narrator in "Meet the Sniper". (Also the "..be polite," line. Yeah, sure, dude. Your voice lines are very polite.)

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS FUCKING TEETH? The way his teeth look and how much they're shown to the viewer by exaggerating his mouth movements feels like a "this guy is NOT normal" sign. No one in the game has teeth similar to him and his canines are HUGE. Like holy shit, he's an apex predator.

A comment @cheebuss (I know you wanna get tagged) saw once has been a running joke between us- it was basically "He indicates so he's normal," which is fucking hilarious, but I can genuinely refute that point. First of all we see him fucking speeding in the beginning of the video- to be fair we don't know what the speed limit on this road is, BUT:

Cunt drives around with a broken side mirror. That's really unsafe, obviously. A good chunk of that mirror has gone to shit and he does not care to replace it (which feeds into my headcanon of him being stingy/not wanting to spend money because he lived on a farm and they did everything themselves). Speaking of his van; it gave me the impression he likes having everything he needs near him- he doesn't need a grand, expensive space to feel comfortable. (I headcanon that he's actually scared/unnerved by vast, empty spaces/buildings) ALSO I think he's messy and prefers the claustrophobia of his van. I like to believe his childhood room was much the same (to the detriment of his mother)- that's his safe space damn it!!!

And here I can transition into talking about his parents!!! : D Of course, not much was shown to us of Mr. & Mrs. Mundy, but we can still glean some stuff from the video- and partially- the comics.

His father very obviously disapproves of his job, calling him "a crazed gunman", and showing his morals do not align with Sniper's. Sniper calls for his mum during the phone call shown at the very end of the video- looking annoyed and somewhat distressed. It's clear to me that they've had this argument many times and Mrs. Mundy is the mediator in them. I think she disapproves of the job as much as her husband does, but is sick of hearing them argue to that extent. Regardless of this conflict, Sniper loves and cares for his parents- they are his world. He doesn't care for anyone else, most of the shit he does is for their sake and continuing to provide support so they can live a stable life at their farm as they get older. It's one of the nicest things about Sniper.

Although, I do think he struggled to get them to understand him properly. He is a quiet man who doesn't express a lot of his emotions. That will complicate things, especially if he doesn't talk about it- and he doesn't!!! : D

Despite this, I think they were the people he was closest to. Sniper, to me, is a guy who's never had friends and has been lonely as well as isolated his entire life. "Too weird to live, much too rare to die." And this is a VERY long time we're talking about; DECADES. Decades of minimum to no human connection. (Just to note; he is almost 50 to me. The comic writers fucked the timeline up and made him a 20 something year old. The Sin. Do not speak of it to me. It makes him less interesting/compelling I'm not kidding.) He is anxious in social settings, barely speaks up, and prefers to simply back away when he doesn't know how to deal with something. (SUPER DUPER AUTISM + SOCIAL ANXIETY!!!) Does he try to interact with his co-workers? Veeeeery little. He yearns for connection he convinces himself he doesn't need. He trusts no one. He's a mystery to them.

But hey!!! Less distractions from his job!!! (Bad transition) This man is genuinely incredible at what he does- I keep replaying the part where he reloads his rifle. He was not kidding about being efficient (he also kills the entire BLU team in that video??). The lad's got incredible patience, aim, control, and overall understanding of what he's doing. There's something fucked up about him observing the people he's targetting like prey, but let's leave that for when I mention his previous job as a tracker (if I do). I imagine the only thing he excelled at in school (he did go there!! He can write!!!) is maths, as that is very much needed when you're a sniper.

BTW I think he barely passed school; he hated being there, had no interest in school work and his teachers kept pestering him about his social life. Leave him alone, he doesn't need that (he does).

Most of his focus went to his parents' farm where I think he mostly took care of the animals....or went out to hunt them; which is how he learned to shoot out of a rifle in the first place. (His dad taught him.) He's not exactly an animal guy but he's also not not an animal guy.

It's complicated.

ANYWAYS, I've talked enough about one single video. Let's mention his in game voice lines a bit!

There's a LOT of material there but here's the stuff I want to mention:

He talks to himself a lot. He isn't out there with the others- his job is to be perched up somewhere high and shoot from a distance so he doesn't get spotted. He makes so many jokes that only HE's going to find funny, except "You've got a forehead on ya like a coffee table," which is genuinely the funniest thing he's ever said. Boy voices his thoughts and tries to entertain himself when he's alone- I don't judge him for that. He has to sit there for hours in complete focus (he helps himself via a lot of coffee). I DO judge the things he says, however.

He's violent. (WHAT!?) There's plenty of examples but I would like to mention one adressed to his teammates. One of the "Jeers" commands is "Should've saved a bullet for some of you blokes!" which, hey, what the fuck? That's scary. He got so frustrated he threatened his own team with murder. (It's kinda funny) To me this shows he's bad at controlling his outbursts or that he never learned how to deal with them. (Autism moment!!!)

He literally growls.

There's this line addressed to Spy: "What goes around comes around, you snotty little nance." If you're not aware- "nance" is derogatory Australian slang for a prissy, effeminate gay man. I headcanon Sniper as a homosexual man so it tickles me that he's so insecure about this fact. It's sad, absolutely, but I find humour in this horrible man being a homophobic homosexual. Project your insecurities onto a guy who can read people extremely well, why don't you. He won't do anything about it, I promise :) (Lie)

I was doing my best to not mention SniperSpy but CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS LINES AIMED AT SPY AND HOW THEY'RE DIRECT RESPONSES TO THINGS SPY SAYS? (plus the highest number of revenge lines he has directed at someone is Spy)

-> = response to:

"Aww, did I get blood on your suit!?" -> "You got blood on my suit."

"I was never on your side either! Wanker!" -> "I never really was on your side."

"Ah, my God, you've been shot. Did you get a look at the handsome rogue who did it?" -> "I'll see you in hell, you handsome rogue."

BY THE WAY, THAT LAST LINE? SPY ONLY SAYS THAT TO HIS COUNTERPART. WHAT, WERE YOU LOOKING AT HIM? WERE YOU WATCHING HIM ALL DAY? WHY DO YOU REMEMBER SO MANY THINGS HE'S SAID? WHY ARE YOU SO FOCUSED ON HIM? ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH HIM? ARE YOU OBSESSED? WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH A LITTLE NANCY BOY? HM?

There is so much more I could mention. I think whatever thing he has going on with Spy is super important to him, but I will hold back for your sake as I can talk about this for hours. You have no clue how many parallels there are, etc.

Anyways, he's in Expiration Date! A little bit! He doesn't say anything. <3 I'm proud of him!!! <3

He literally just stands around ominously in the shadows (and finds RED Spy being made fun of very amusing).

"Hehe."

(I just noticed he took his watch off and put it on his vest. This is an autism moment because I, too, hate having something on me that I don't usually have so I need to balance it out by removing something else; if I have it on me. Either way it's sensory suffering.) (Him being super attached to his hat and glasses is also an autism moment. He is no one without them.)

And then he has that one part in The Bread Fight(tm) where he gets confused by Pauling and Scout pushing the bomb.

"Tails gets trolled" looking ass.

I like watching him fall over.

After he falls here, he takes his kukri out which was... attached? situated? It was behind the strap of his arrow carrier. I think that's cool. I also think he wouldn't be doing that during matches because Spy is very much capable of stealing it/putting it away without Sniper noticing, even if it was literally on his back.

Also, I am a firm believer in "Sniper can only do one thing extremely well and has little to no interest in creative stuff," so I disagree with the idea of him being able to play a saxophone. You could say he was made to do that in school, but this guy is a smoker. I do not believe he can do that. You cannot convince me.

I think that's enough! This doesn't even go past the hypothetical tip of the iceberg, but it's a lot of words. This is the very basic stuff you have to know about how I see this cunt.

Thank you for letting me share some of my insanity.

#ask #morskiwords #tf2 #sniper #sniperspy mention i gues #thank you so much for this ask i love talking about this fucked up thing i care about too much #i wanted to include the 'feelings?' line but id have to tackle too many things i hadnt even mentioned here #overall im really surprised at how little of my thoughts are in here. i guess you dont realise the extent you think about a character until #-you write it down #uh. yeah. im normal

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bonespired · 10 months

Text

How to degrease bones? (With the easiest and cheapest method!)

Bone cleaning is quite a journey - and honestly degreasing is the part I find a tad confusing. Questions like: how long it will take? Does it work in cold water as well? Is it done? Is it doing anything at all?

As a beginner bone collector, who also doesn't want to put a huge amount of money into it and finding an acceptable way to clean bones is essential. Mainly because of the challenge, - tbh it is quite enjoyable for me to create quality bones with a less amount of investment, it just makes me feel like I really worked for it, I love these challenges - but mostly because it is already difficult to make my family accept this kind of a hobby of mine. Not many people are fond of keeping rotting animal parts at home, I can tell you that! If this hobby turns out to be stinky and expensive, that is definitely a no from family members. And even though I am an adult, making my own money, my husband does have a saying about the family funds - because we are both responsible for this family - so it is important for me to keep things at a reasonable price.

There are many ways to degrease bones and you have to pay a price for it either way, be it about the time period the degreasing takes or the used materials. You can degrease bones chemically, using liquids like ammonia or acetone, but personally, I dislike these, because:

it requires some effort to put your hand on this stuff, they can be hard to come by

they can be harmful to your health (ammonia is not nice to work with)

they can be expensive, and we already have to buy H2O2

they have to be stored and get rid of properly - you cannot just let these go down in your sink

and some materials can be straightforward and dangerous - read about some pros are using stuff like petrol for degreasing and while it does the job, petrol is extremely unstable, highly flammable and tend to blow up easily, so super no!

So, I go with the safest and also the cheapest solution: dish soap.

Dish soap is something that is easy to come by, can be super cheap and the water system is well prepared to clean grey water, so you can pour dish soap into your sink. However, it can take time to degrease your bones. While ammonia or acetone can be done with degreasing under a day (depends on the size of the skull and species of the animal), dish soap takes a lot longer: days at the best, months at the worst. But this is also the easiest degreasing method for beginners.

But there is another big question: how do you know your degreasing is working (and when it is done)?

When I started to even think about degreasing I went online, read about dish soap and was happy because everyone has dish soap at hand, so I picked a pot, filled it with cold water, pour the dish soap in, put the bones in and yay, magic was done! But things are not this simple.

The first days everything went fine: my water had fat oil drops at the surface and a visible white cloud came out of the bones, so a clear sign of the degreasing is working. But this stage went down quickly, like a matter of days - and I thought okay, degreasing is done, time to pull the skulls out and whiten. But my whitening never turned out white, rather like light grey and first I blamed my peroxide because of it, then my bones. These are findings from nature, probably they are stained, right?

I started to be doubtful when my cat skull turned out to be sticky after whitening. That never happened before, so another research later I came to the conclusion the cat that I thought are fully degreased is actually not degreased. But it didn't do a thing in the pot anymore. So what did I do wrong?

I used cold water. Apparently cold water works, but only for a while. It cannot really pull out the grease that is hiding deep inside the bone - that's why I stopped seeing white cloud after a matter of days, falsely thinking I am done. I needed warm water in the long run - if I simply use warm tap water that just runs cold way too quickly. It can be done with warm tap water as well, but that takes even longer. So, I bought an aquarium heater.

I looked after the fat oil drops in the water. They appeared on the first day, so I thought they will keep appearing until I am done. Turns out they don't? Rather the water slowly goes more opaque and murky with time, but no more fat drops don't matter how hard I am looking for them. This makes my job significantly difficult because oil drops are easier to spot and tell based on them if the degreasing is working or if I am actually done.

I am just super imapetient. I want my skull done and perfect as soon as possible. But it just doesn't work like that. I am working on this cat skull for 3 weeks now and it is still going: I had to macerate it, then degrease it, then whiten it, and then go back to degreasing and all I wanna do is glue it together and post fancy pictures of it. Won't happen for a while, time to accept that.

But how this opaque water progress looks like? I was so confused about is it clear water, is it dirty water, is it done, whether the water is warm enough or not, so I started to document the process.

This is the freshwater stage. I just changed the water and quickly snapped a pic of it, making it my reference piece. I can clearly see all the details of my bones, even if my dish soap is yellow, colouring my water a bit - but I can see through the water without any problem. My heater can do 36 Celsius degrees max, otherwise, it cooks the fish in the tank, so I put that on max, hoping it will be enough. About the temperature: I did read about 46 Celsius or even more than 50 Celsius for water temperature, but the aquarium heater cannot reach those degrees, because the main goal is to keep fish alive and no fish stays alive in 40+ water. I could use a bucket heater, but for me, that is harder to get and I really don't want a setting that takes a lot of space/costs a lot of money, so an aquarium heater it is.

Another thing I am not comfortable to put my bones in more than 50 Celsius degrees. This is my personal choice, but I really wanna avoid any chance of accidentally cooking my bones, and 50 seems to be too much heat.

I looked back at it an hour later and snapped another pic: and look, we start to get blurry details! No oil drops on the surface, but something definitely makes the water murky: my water is not hot enough to cook the bones, so it cannot dissolve or take any kind of damage in my bones, so this stuff must be grease! Seems like the heater works!

Checked the bones that evening as well and the water is definitely even more opaque!

And this is the next day: I can barely see my bones anymore, so definitely time to change the water.

Conclusion

If you think you are done with your bones, but they:

have yellow spots or wax on them

stick to your hand like you glued them

are shining here or there

have a waxy feeling

smells

Then your degreasing is not done. The good news is you can always go back to degreasing, doesn't matter if you whitened the bones or not.

The cheapest version of degreasing is the dish soap version and you will need warm water for it! It can be a good idea to get an aquarium heater because that will help you to macerate carcasses during the winter as well and quickens degreasing too. You can work with warm tap water, but that takes even longer.

But the dish soap method really takes time! Seems like this part is the longest one in skull cleaning. So even if it seems like my degreasing is not over and my method works, I can also see I won't have a pretty white cat skull anytime soon.

The bones are bathing for the third day in a row now and they seem to release the same amount of grease, so no sign of clear water yet. Also, when I pull the bones out of the water I can still see yellow spots on it - that is grease, sweeping to the surface and I need to get rid of that.

And how I will know my degreasing is done? My water stops being opaque. I can decide when to pull my bones out - do I want to fully degrease it or I decide to end it sooner because I want some discolouration, preserving am roe natural look.... that is up to me. Ideally, I wanna do a full degrease, but I just wanna preserve my bones perfectly to have quality art references that will be with be for a long time, so I try to go for a full degrease and will see how long that takes.

So just take your time, change your water as needed and enjoy the process :3 You cannot harm your bones this way, so happy experimenting!

#vulture culture #degreasing bones #skull degreasing #animal skulls #degrease #degreasing #dead animal #oddities #bone cleaning

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actual-changeling · 5 months

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Welcome to:

We need to talk about Michael

The first post can be found right here, and I do recommend reading it first because otherwise you might not know what exactly I am talking about. As previously announced, we will now have a look at Michael, Uriel, and Gabriel in season two because our Archangels might not be as loyal as the Metatron thinks.

Part 2: Common Ground

I will start with the Apocalypse #2 meeting and the trial, since chronologically it happens right before season two, and we need the conclusions I will come to for later.

The plan for the apocalypse itself is something I've already talked about in a different meta post and there's even more to discuss, but to not get too off-topic, we'll leave it at "earth gets destroyed, heaven and hell go to war" for this one.

I don't know about you, but for me the trial has always felt... off, in a way, and I couldn't put my finger on why exactly—now I have a theory: The entire conversation around Gabriel saying 'no' was orchestrated, not just by himself but by him and Michael.

Armageddon is prevented and Gabriel falls in love with Beelzebub, who is unfortunately the prince of hell and thus the Enemy tm in theory. Practically, heaven and hell work closely with each other, and which angel he knows has established direct contact with dukes of hell?

Michael.

So Gabriel goes to her and together they talk to Beez to come up with a plan, because Michael wants Gabriel out of heaven just as much as he wants to leave heaven. Michael wants his job.

The solution is surprisingly simple: Find a way to make Gabriel fall, who then gets to be princess of hell and Beelzebub's sugar baby, Beelzebub gets to be with Gabriel all the time, and Michael—as duty officer and thus second in command—gets a promotion, taking the role of Supreme Archangel; they can keep working on their own plan with even more resources and influence.

Now they just need to find something grand enough to make THE Supreme Archangel falls, and nothing is better than the Great Plan, or rather, Gabriel refusing to stick to it. This is how we land in the middle of that fateful meeting.

Obviously, everything I am about to show and explain comes down to personal interpretation, but it feels pretty sound to me.

Angels can lie. Angels can lie really well, especially Archangels whose entire job description is to keep up elaborate lies and cover stories in order to keep the system running. I watched the meeting and focused on Michael, her facial expressions, and the eye contact she makes throughout.

As they are about to reach the 'everything ends, amen' part of it, Michael and Gabriel share a look:

We get a wonderful close-up of Michael right after, and to me this looks very much like a smile, a tiny rush of excitement before they begin acting on their shared plan. Then another one when he closes his eyes. It is the timing of the looks that makes me think they're purposeful and not just casual.

And apropos timing, I have re-watched the same two seconds at different speeds like fifty times now and Michael opens her eyes before Gabriel says 'nah'. BEFORE. Saraqael does not open theirs until after, but Michael opens them on his inhale, which sounds like the beginning of Amen, so she couldn't have known what he was going to say right there and then—unless she already did.

Which means she was expecting it, this was an intentional acting choice on Doon's part.

The entire conversation after does not feel like a fight, it doesn't feel like Michael is surprised by his decision. The looks they give each other SCREAM sibling banter, and I know that because I see my sister and me in them.

"I told you you could ask" with that teasing grin and Michael looking up afterwards like "God give me strength to deal with this idiot". No anger, no disappointment, no confusing, nothing. Just mild annoyance over his behaviour.

Then, when Gabriel drops his "only Archangel in the Universe" line, does Michael look angry? Furious? ANYTHING?

No. She smiles. It is all going according to plan and Gabriel is being a little shit, but she cares about him.

Once we reach the cleaning roster, there are more looks.

Like this one before we get a close-up of Gabriel, followed by a blink and you will miss it side-eye; then the lasting look Michael gives him, not annoyed but rather checking in.

Uriel sounds properly annoyed, she looks genuinely frustrated and upset with Gabriel, which makes Michael's behaviour seem even more out of line.

To summarize what we've got so far: Michael and Gabriel came up with a plan so he could go to hell and be with Beez while Michael would take over as Supreme Archangel in heaven. In order to do so, they had to find a fire-worthy offense, and saying 'no' to heaven's Great Plan and victory over everyone and everything certainly did the trick.

For now, it's all going according to plan. However, that won't last.

I am far from done talking about this, so with a big sigh—disappointed but not surprised—I will continue this in a third part, which will be all about the trial.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

#alex talks good omens #good omens meta #good omens michael #archangel michael #archangel gabriel #archangel uriel #good omens heaven #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen

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abiiors · 6 months

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Omg omg what about Ross’ reaction finding out that you are pregnant? That man is going to be the death of me 😭😭😭

omg omg omg okay 😭😭

i've already mentioned that you find out you're pregnant with april a week before your wedding. everything is already so stressful and chaotic. every single last minute change and finalisation is happening all at once and you haven't even had the time to breathe until you put your foot down and take the evening off just to relax a bit.

it's anything but relaxing though.

you see the notification pop up while you're scrolling through reels--your period tracking app reminding you to log your period in. it's innocent enough, you know you've forgotten to log it in in the past and received similar notifications but this one makes you sit up.

ross, next to you, also sits up in confusion.

"you alright?"

"yeah, uh... ross. fuck!" you swear so softly that he barely even hears it at first but the way your face goes pale alerts him. "fuck, two weeks!"

"what's two weeks? everything alright? you're scaring me babe!"

you wag the phone screen in front of him as if that's instantly going to clue him in but the confusion on his face remains the same.

"my period! it's two weeks late, it's... shit."

"o...kay?" he takes a deep breath and turns you towards him. "let's not jump to conclusions okay? do you think it could be the wedding stress?"

you wrack your brain to see if this explanation fits. to remember if you did indeed have your period and forgot about it in the middle of all the chaos. but absolutely nothing comes to mind. until... until another memory resurges.

both of you returning home drunk from your respective bachelor parties, coincidentally at the same time. sloppily fucking each other in the living room. and you can't remember if you used any protection.

"ross..." you squeeze your eyes shut as more of the memory plays in front of you. "remember the night of my hen do?"

he doesn't need to answer it because he pales visibly and curses softly under his breath.

"okay. okay here's what we will do, alright? just... i don't know, just lie down and i'll run to the shop and pick up a few tests if you want. how does that sound?"

he says all of it so quickly that you barely have the time to understand but you nod frantically and watch him run out the room.

---

twenty minutes later, he's back home--slightly out of breath and wide eyed but there's unmistakable excitement on his face. and something that suspiciously looks like... hope.

"ross..."

"i know, i know," he says, "we don't know yet but... fuck, okay! just take the test, okay? let's do that first."

and so you do. you do your business and keep the three tests on the counter, trying not to look at them when you wash your hands and as you're setting the timer. when you open the bathroom door, ross is pacing outside.

"alright?"

you nod and then bury your face in his chest. "what if it's positive, do you want it to be positive?"

ross lifts your chin to make you look at him properly and then smiles softly. "do you want it to be positive? i would be honoured to have a baby with you, sweetheart. you already are my family. expanding it with you would be the greatest thing ever."

if you weren't already on the verge of tears, that would have done the job.

"hey..." he wipes them away softly. "i want this baby, love, but that doesn't mean you don't get a say in it. if you're not ready right now, we have the rest of our lives ahead of us, yeah?"

"i know... just," you sniffle, blinking the tears away, "i want--i want a baby with you so so badly. i'm just worried--"

"about the timing?"

"yeah... about that."

"we'll make it work, love. if... if this is really happening," his voice sounds thick with emotion and his eyes shine brightly, "if we are really having a baby, i'll do everything possible to make it easier on you."

you nod, letting yourself feel just a smidge of excitement at the prospect of it.

"and if it's negative?"

"then we can start trying whenever you want." he grins and steals a quick kiss. "we can start trying right now. or on our honeymoon, or at the wedding. i reckon you'd look absolutely delicious in your dress, mrs macdonald."

"can't call me that just yet," you giggle and wipe away the rest of the tears.

"too late," he smiles, "i've called you that in my head for at least two years now."

you're about to respond when the timer goes off and you look at him, part petrified, part nervous, and entirely hopeful.

"let's look together?" he holds his hand out for you to grab and you take it gratefully.

ten seconds later when you look at the definitive plus signs on all three tests, you know your life is about to change for the best.

#✉️#♡: ross blurbs #dad!ross #the 1975 #ross macdonald #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald x you #ross macdonald fluff

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eternalglitch · 8 months

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I want to become a better writer, but something that stumps me is inside voices. Characters when they hear or talk to inside voice is hard to write.

Do you have any tips or tricks on how to write a voice talking or thinking to a character, like how should I write it?

Some say use italics, others say bold or parentheses, but I want others intakes on it, people I love their writings from!

So there's a couple things to keep in mind for my approach to internal monologues.

First up is that only about 30-50% of the human population have consistent internal voices at all according to some sources. I personally don't hear one most of the time, unless I'm intentionally rehearsing what I'm going to say, for example. This might make it worth it for writers to consider what level a character would even have an internal monologue, and adjust their writing style to better showcase another aspect of this characterization.

(If you read my work Like Father Like Son, I intentionally start with fairly active internal monologue and slowly get rid of any internal monologue at all for the character until it starts to come back.)

With that being said, I find it very clunky when writers have a heavy inclusion of internal monologues. I personally like to just interweave the entire POV with the character's thoughts; if something is of interest for them, the descriptions of that item is a lot more exact and focused. This can easily lead into a paragraph connecting whatever nuances are needed to be "clicked together," if that makes sense, without it actually being in a dialogue format.

I'll only use a rare internal monologue line to draw the final conclusion or pose the initial question, as most thoughts tend to not be as neat and clean as dialogue allows.

In the event that I do have that internal monologue, I prefer to show it by standard dialogue formatting rules. Just remove the dialogue quotes and make the thought line of dialogue italic.

Ex. Oh, she realized distantly. Well, I had a good run of it.

Bold doesn't really make any sense for me; it's extraordinarily rare to see bold at all in published fiction. And parentheses tend to be a very disjointed idea that might be almost entirely unrelated to everything surrounding it, or a further clarification of what proceeded them.

In any case, I think it takes some practice to get a good grasp of what reads well as a good mix of direct internal monologue vs. descriptive paragraphs of what the character is thinking. I would read through some books or fanfics that you think did a good job of showing what a character is thinking and feeling and note how much each technique is used to get started on figuring out that balance.

Hope that helps!

#glitch answers #writing advice

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quentin-didnt-die-in-the-books · 6 months

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I don't think it was an awful decision to kill off Quentin Coldwater

Okay so I know how my url looks but now that I've spent a bit more time on this site and seen how other people feel about this, I think I should clarify my meaning.

Let me start out by saying Quentin was my favorite character both at first, when I watched the show, and after, when I read the books. He's the one I related to the most and just a character I enjoyed watching. His death was a shock and I stopped watching the show for a while after. But having read the books and gotten some distance from the incident, I don't hate the decision to kill him in the show. This is partly because he doesn't die in the books so if I want, I can just choose to only consider that ending as the real one.

But more importantly, a main point of the story that the books tell is that no matter what awful things happen in your life, you need to find things that matter and ways to move on and still be happy. Since the books are from Quentin's point of view, we mostly see his struggles and successes when it comes to finding reasons to live. But the show intentionally showcases the other characters much more than the books did and there are plenty of storylines that Quentin isn't even a part of. It is harder, in certain ways, to build empathy for characters through a tv show because it's not from their point of view and we, as audience members, can often have different interpretations of something we watch. So rather than being able to live through Quentin, we are almost a part of the story ourselves and we have to make our own way and come to a conclusion ourselves, rather than being led there by a narrator. In this way, Quentin's death is something that we have to get past and find a way to move on from in the story. I'll admit season five isn't my favorite season but it does have some of my favorite scenes in the show. It doesn't just throw us back into a fun fantasy world with silly humor and adventures. There is a grieving process and it takes a while for the show to become at all lighthearted again. After reaching Quentin's death and losing all interest in the show for a bit, it is significant to me that I ended up missing the world that it created enough to go back to it even knowing that my favorite character would not be a part of it. I'm not trying to compare this to losing someone you love in the real world because I don't think that is an accurate comparison at all but it is comparable, in my mind, to losing something that had sentimental value or missing out on an opportunity you can't get back. Realizing that something hasn't turned out the way you wanted it to and being able to move on and still enjoy other things again is very important and I think the show did manage to capture the spirit of the books even if that might not have been the writers' exact intention. I think some media is about escapism and creating a world where things are better but I don't think that is a requirement or a guarantee.

I also just want to mention that I understand the fine line between media as an art form and media as representation of the real world but I think this show does an excellent job of giving the audience a meaningful story even if it isn't necessarily "fair" to the characters. Obviously, media can perpetuate discrimination in the way it treats certain identities and communities (e.g. discrimination on the basis of gender, race, sexuality, disability, mental health) that are already discriminated against in society. I think in this instance though, there is also a case to be made for seeing the characters, especially Quentin, as a way to cope with the awful things that happen in the world, rather than just an expression of those awful things. I think The Magicians does do a good enough job of developing complex characters that they are not simply caricatures meant to represent entire groups in society for the purpose of making broad claims about those groups.

Obviously, I wanted Queliot to happen but I really don't think this show was trying to be homophobic given the many other examples of queer relationships in the show. I do think we still have a ways to go in how mental health issues are portrayed and treated in media but I think Quentin's death, and the whole show, itself, is about much more than that.

#the magicians #quentin coldwater #queliot #syfysource #4x13

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asherisgone · 10 months

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GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS DEAR SATAN SCROLL AWAY DON'T PRESS SEE MORE.

I've had major whiplash from the last 15 minutes of episode 6, so I'm here to analyse because it's eating me alive.

So I know a lot of people have theories that Aziraphale's been manipulated or miracled or the coffee is suspicious: whatever. I'm not here to fully push any theories, I'm just here to provide evidence and things for people to make their own conclusions.

First part of this is analysing Aziraphale himself:

Before we can even begin to dissect his statements, let's talk about who he is.

This angel hasn't changed his outfit in a century, forget the damn hair that has been the same since the universe even began.

He loves humanity and being humans because he is, even if he can't accept that, never has. All the way back in the aftermath of Jobe's story, their conversation, aziraphale doesn't find his peace during it, he desperately holds onto 'heaven = good' even though we've proven that isn't true. Even in Edinburgh, he's adament what they're doing is wrong (heaven's ideals) until Crowley shows him the truth of humanity; EVEN THEN he still can't accept the grey area of it all ("the side of truth... of good"), where Crowley is comfortable with his humanity, aziraphale clutches onto the "light grey" because he still craves heaven's approval.

*quick aside, I am aware Crowley does say "dark grey" but I read his tone as mocking and playful, plus he says it himself in the argument that he doesn't need hell or heaven.

But to sum that part up, that explains why Aziraphale takes the job, why he wants Crowley to be an angel again: he never got the closure he needed from heaven, he can't accept that it's just as corrupt as hell (if not more so since at least hell are doing it on purpose). He is sick of being worried and scared for Crowley, he wants to change everything so they can be together safely...

So onto the argument then..

Aziraphale says he may have misjudged the Metatron, why? because the Metatron praises him deeply to gain his trust "you're a leader, you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear."

and honestly it's mostly exaggeration.

He's a lousy leader, Crowley walked all over him during the battle of the bookshop, he even says himself that they just have to do whatever Crowley says; he steps up to his potential at the last minute with the halo. He's not only a people pleaser (cause he thinks that's what angels are), but he also knows how to say things people want to hear to get his way, especially Crowley.

THE WHOLE JOBE MINI EPISODE IS ABOUT AZIRAPHALE UNDERMINING AND LYING TO HEAVEN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

So we cannot trust the Metatron - he just needs someone who he can influence and control to rule heaven, that's why Gabriel was thrown out the minute he began to make his own decisions. It's why he uses Crowley as a bargaining tool to get Azi on his side after he says "I don't want to go back to heaven"

This entices Aziraphale because as someone who doesn't like change, he'd be able to be with Crowley "like the old times" without disrupting their dynamic of unspoken partnership.

Crowley immediately feels something is off "You're better than that", after all, what happened to "we're on our side" or "we carved it out for ourselves". Crowley is entirely comfortable in being human or on his own side... until aziraphale comes along to show him he doesn't need to be alone

Crowley repeats "tell me you said no": at first in disbelief, thinking he knows aziraphale wouldn't be that rash, his face immediately falls, in complete and utter disbelief at the possibility he's losing his angel.

So he repeats the question, this time it's a plea, he's practically begging for Aziraphale to correct him even though he knows it's not possible. His eyes widen, his fear is true and he's panicking as he knows what Aziraphale just signed up for. He shows so much betrayal in this one look too it's insane how well-done this scene is...

His last minute declaration of love is wholly an attempt to convince Azi to stay, the panic in his voice is unmistakeable "I think I'd better say it now." he's rushed, he's desperate.

*another aside, Michaels delivery of "come with me" in the softest voice and puppy eyes known to man is the absolute death of me. But it speaks to his innocence and sheer ignorance of what's going on.

Crowley knows his angel, "you can't leave the bookshop" which, as far as I'm concerned, is a euphemism for himself and their relationship. (of course literally as well, I mean aziraphale would die with their shop) and with the response being "nothing lasts forever. That's an insane line, ineffable husbands? nah sorry. But it's simply untrue, he doesn't like change, he hasn't ever sold a book, he doesn't change his hair and his style simply doesn't waver. This isn't something Aziraphale would say and mean. (which is also something people are using as evidence of Azi not being himself). Although, it also shows that he's willing to give up the bookshop and earth and everything he worked for if it means he and Crowley may have a safe future in heaven.

Everyone's noticed that Crowley shows his eyes more in season 2, but only when he and aziraphale are alone, he has them off the entire conversation until after aziraphale says that nothing lasts. He puts them back on. His facial expressions and body language are all so insecure all of a sudden; they can't even look at the angel they've been pining for since the beginning of time.

Aziraphale is unwavering, which is so confusing, he has smile still plastered on his face - an incredibly forced and frankly naive smile, but he absolutely cannot grasp the concept that crowley likes and actively accepts being human, but Azi is desperate to be an angel, once thinking he lost his way and now clawing back because otherwise he isn't good. "We could be together... Angels! doing good...".

I'm entirely convinced that considering only Crowley knows about Gabriel being thrown out for thwarting heaven's plans, he knows that aziraphale and him couldn't make a difference if they tried, the reason the Metatron even suggests the two of them can work together is to control them: afterall they're the ones who prevented armaggadont the first time, and also almost declared a war between heaven and hell. If you were the Metatron you'd seek to stop them too.

This seems to be why Crowley immediately fucks off the minute he senses Aziraphale can't understand what's going on "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do". Crowley laid his heart out to the one person he thought understood him, but Aziraphale gets ahead of himself and insisting Crowley joins him in heaven signifies something utterly world shattering as they were grey together, and he thought aziraphale understood that (again I call you back to the story of Jobe). "I could always rely on you"

Aziraphale stops him for obvious reasons, but that's why when Crowley says "no nightingales" it's more than just a metaphor. Obviously they reach an impasse in the conversation, it's Crowley's way of saying they're done, but what it signifies a new shift: this isn't his angel anymore. especially when you follow this with "you idiot-" because all I can think of is "how can someone as clever as you be so stupid" back from season 1. Crowley at this point has given up. he's done.

(*aside, this is an observation if you take it as a way to say that Azi is under a miracle or manipulated that's for you to decide.)

Aziraphale tries desperately to hide his emotions, the fake smiles and the depth of regret and sadness in his eyes, he looks at Crowley like he doesn't recognise him anymore even though it's not him who's changed.

and then...

EVERY - their kiss for those who did not have the misfortune of it being spoiled for them.

Is it only me who feels physically nauseous watching this? And I don't mean because I didn't want this to happen, of course not, but it's the amount of emotion charged behind it that makes it so devastating. The anger, pure desperation and DAMN IT IM SO SORRY I CAN'T BE CALM BUT AZIRAPHALE'S FACE AND REACTION GENUINELY MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLY SAD.

two sides of this I'll analyse now.

Crowley - this is his absolute last chance and card he can play, he's done with words, "Well then... there's nothing else to say". He is heartbroken at this point, filled with desperation and pure longing for the one thing he's always been certain of: he needs this to work out. He literally runs to save their relationship, and fucking yanks aziraphale (love the parallel to season 1) but look at his determination in the furrowed brows... This isn't a loving and sentimental kiss, this is life or death as far as he's concerned.

Aziraphale - dear lord, where do I begin... He's caught off guard but something looks so wrong, it's not the look of a welcome surprise, it almost angry. He's upset that it's happening now, not that it's happening at all. He wants Crowley from 5 minutes ago, before their world crumbled in on them, but now he's hurt and he won't let himself have this Crowley that won't be with him as an angel, supporting him as supreme archangel... My only evidence for Aziraphale wanting to kiss Crowley just not in that moment is purely his hands. Granted, Crowley was holding that fucker tight, like goddamn- but he didn't stop it by any means, not for a whole 12 seconds. He wavers, holding him gently for only a moment with the most amount of trepidation, before reeling back as if he'd be burnt if he lingered, holding his hands away.

Afterwards?

that's the most betrayed look I've seen in my life... It's a "what the hell did you just do, you've only made this harder for me and yourself" Aziraphale has made his mind up and knows exactly what his plan is, he wants to make peace with leaving crowley, giving up on taking him with him, but this has proven how dedicated Crowley is to this, only making separating that much more painful.

That's why he doesn't say anything. Settling for "I forgive you." The very same words he echoed in season 1. A demon, the unforgivable fallen angels. Aziraphale is giving him another chance almost, saying "you were never fallen in my eyes" but also allowing him to leave, forgiving him for throwing away the opportunity Aziraphale is giving to him (I'm not saying that as in I think that's a good option I mean it from Aziraphale's perspective.)

Crowley immediately picks up on that, his voice defeated upon realising that aziraphale wasn't receptive to his efforts "don't bother". His lasts words to the angel that he no longer recognises and who doesn't recognise him. His angel basically admitted that he doesn't love him as a demon, only as an angel...

And that's the most poignant part I think. Nina is right, they don't communicate, and although a lot was said, it wasn't enough...

Aziraphale's touch of the lips shows so much. It's almost as though he feels violated or robbed of what was meant to be pure and special, but soured by their own inability to talk. Not only that, it's clearly a lingering feeling, he doesn't fully understand what just happened, still trying to catch up with his own feelings, it's the last thing from Crowley that he's got now, their relationship in total tatters.

right if you made it this far, I'm sorry for rambling on but I do sincerely hope you all found this interesting and can add to my observations!! I love this fandom and don't forget to keep watching, we need that season 3.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #go2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens episode 6 #aziraphale #crowley #beezlebub #archangel gabriel #neil gaiman #muriel #uriel #david tennant #michael sheen

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