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9worldstales · 3 years

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MCU What if Ep 1-2-3: My two cents

So, I’ve been watching the “What if” series. I won’t beat it around the bush, I’m enjoying it but at the same time I get the feeling this series is aimed at younger audience, younger audience which isn’t deeply familiar with the movies and needs to be feed a simpler storyline.

In fact from the way they present it in each episode 1 single change should be the one which gives life to a parallel universe in a sort of domino effect… only, from what I could see in those 3 episodes, there are actually multiple unconnected changes, 1 presented more markedly as if it were the one starting everything and the others… just there for unknown reasons but they aren’t remarked and might easily be missed by who doesn’t remember well the movies.

Characterizations are also simplified, with heroes more black and white than grey, and a general toning down of the drama. This isn’t necessarily tied to the short time, 30 minutes in the hand of a good storyteller are plenty of time to construct a complicate, adult, emotionally engaging story… but a complicate story requires an audience willing to put its mind to understand it, or capable to handle a more morally nuanced plot or that wouldn’t be too distressed by a more emotionally engaging one.

This kind of audience is clearly not what those stories are aiming at.

This isn’t meant to say they’re bad, they’re perfect for young audience, passing on a good message, being overall funny and giving them the chance to enjoy the heroes they love in a different setting.

Dialogues are nice, their voice actors so far delivered good performance, the art isn’t bad and the stories can feel still intriguing enough.

However, if you think too hard at them, especially in comparison to the original movie, the story tends to crumble or feel morally poor or mess up the characterization or some other thing.

Overall I think the “What if” so far are more enjoyable if you don’t really remember well the movies and, anyway, judge them as stand-alone more than “What if” based on how a single divergence from the plot could create a new timeline.

Some examples?

Pick “What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?”

The divergence supposedly happens when Peggy decides to stay in the room.

Erskine: Agent Carter, wouldn't you be more comfortable in the booth? Peggy: No, I'd prefer to stay. Watcher: There. That's the moment that created a new universe. When asked to leave the room, Margaret "Peggy" Carter chose to stay. But soon it would be her venturing into the unknown and creating a new world.

Only, in truth, it’s not just Peggy who was meant to go to the booth and didn’t.

EVERYONE was meant to go to the booth… only they all stay and Kruger, the spy from Hydra, who was seated in the booth BEHIND Peggy in “Captain America”, in the “What if” episode attacks the lab during Erskine’s explanation and not, as he did in “Captain America”, after the experiment took place, using as a distraction a bomb he left in the booth, and not on the floor of near to where the experiment was taking place so that it can kill Erskine.

And, to be really accurate, Erskine, in “Captain America”, asked Peggy to move to the booth when Steve was already lying down for the experiment, while here we see him asking her so while the two are standing next to each other and he hadn’t started undressing yet.

And there’s a reason why in the movie things were done like that.

Of course in the movie everyone was in the booth, it was safer should something go wrong with the experiment.

Of course Kruger waited for the experiment to be carried on, if it didn’t work there was no point in stealing a vial of a serum that didn’t work.

Of course Kruger left the bomb in the booth and made it explode when he was outside of it, so that he was sure it would create distraction but not harm him.

Overall, it’s not just Peggy that acts differently, it’s Erskine, who asked her to move in advance, it’s all the people there, who didn’t move to the booth, it’s ESPECIALLY, Kruger, who originally aimed to see if the serum worked and, in this case, steal it and kill Erskine so he couldn’t produce more and instead he now doesn’t check if the serum works and kills, for unknown reasons Chester Phillips, who didn’t even have a weapon in his hand and so didn’t pose a threat.

Even the placing of the bomb is poor because, since there was plenty of mechanisms in the lab, it could have triggered a series of explosions that were to destroy the whole place, himself and all the serum included.

But how many young viewers noticed all this or worry for the risk of everything exploding or realize that causing an explosion outside of the room in which the serum was worked as a diversion so as to take people away from that place, while if the bomb were to explode there, everyone would converge in that place, with hydrants possibly as no one worries about fire spreading but they should… even if there’s magically not as much as there should be.

And tragic scenes get tamed down, we don’t see Erskine die, we might not even realize he died in the explosion, young viewers might not remember or not like Chester Phillips so when he’s shoot he doesn’t leave an impression and Kruger’s shape gets shoot down by Peggy so we don’t have him committing suicide.

It’s not a complain, it’s a logic choice to make the series more palatable to a younger target by toning down the violence and the drama in it.

And so we reach the big event of the episode.

John Flynn would want Stark to get the serum injected in himself (forgetting there were men of the MP around him who shouldn’t be all dead) but starts to complain when Peggy volunteers to take the serum herself. Peggy does anyway and again things are tamed down, as Steve ended up screaming so loud in “Captain America” Peggy feared they were killing him and they considered stopping the experiment but Peggy doesn’t scream at all.

Sure, in had been scientifically proved women are built to handle pain better, but very likely Peggy’s lack of scream isn’t because she’s tougher, it’s again to not upset young audience.

So, while Steve lies on the ground and no one comes to help him, Peggy comes out of the experiment enhanced. But here we’ve the real core of the episode, John Flynn decides the experiment is an absolute failure. Why?

Flynn: Sixty million dollars and all the hope in the world down the drain. I was promised an army. I was promised peace and salvation. Instead, I get a girl.

Basically the real core of the episode, the real theme is that Captain Carter will have to fight discrimination based on sexism.

Peggy: You have a Super Soldier. Flynn: Women aren't soldiers, and they sure as hell don't fight on the front lines. They might break a nail.

Undoubtedly this is an important matter, it’s a good topic to make an episode about, to give young girls an heroine, to show to them and to the boys what an absolute moron Flynn was in discriminating Peggy, also presenting boys being supportive of Peggy and trusting her. Howard Stark, Steve Rogers, and then Bucky and everyone else, all the men who see Peggy fighting are ultimately supportive and admiring of her. This is important. But Flynn’s sexism is better remarked if we don’t remember what happened in “Captain America”.

Steve Rogers: Sir, if you’re going after Schmidt, I want in. Col. Chester Phillips: You’re an experiment. You’re going to Alamogordo. Steve Rogers: The serum worked. Col. Chester Phillips: I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough. Senator Brandt: [to Steve] With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we may be missing the point. I’ve seen you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country’s seen it. [to his aide] Paper.[the aide shows them the news paper (‘The New York Examiner’ Vol. XCVII No. 33.634, Wednesday, June 23, 1943), headlines: "Nazis in New York - mystery man saves child"] The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands. You don’t take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab. Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war? Steve Rogers: Sir, that’s all I want. Senator Brandt: Then, congratulations. You just got promoted.

I mean, Rogers was a male and he too was judged ‘not enough’. Brandt has him tour the nation in a colorful costume as “Captain America” to promote war bonds, while scientists study him and attempt to reverse-engineer the formula.

Chester Phillips was likely killed because otherwise they would have no reason to deal with Peggy the same way he dealt with Steve ‘one is not enough’, only it wouldn’t have been a sexist problem, just math (though it could be argued Phillips never trusted Steve to begin with). This causes the message ‘sexism is dumb’ ends up feeling forced because it’s basically pasted over a previous narrative of ‘not being enough’. If you want, you can read it as always discrimination and discrimination it’s always bad, but it still cheapens the message.

All this not to say that the episode isn’t awesome if seen as a stand-alone… it’s just that when you compare it with “Captain America” it feels weaker.

And then there are the other discrepancies, like the Hydra bringing the Tesseract to Berlin and not to Azzano (a sign somehow Schmidt and Hitler didn’t have a fall out) with Stark using it to power up an “Hydra Stomper” suit that proves if he had had the right power sources and technologies he could have built “Iron Man” too.

They’re not bad points (actually I loved the “Hydra Stomper” suit and how Peggy rode it the way Tekkaman from “Uchu no Kishi Tekkaman” used to ride Pegas in my childhood memories) but again they’re divergences without a clear reason. Schmidt and Hitler shouldn’t get along better solely because Peggy got the serum.

And that’s the first episode.

“What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?” is also clearly aimed to a younger audience but with a goal different from “What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?”

Watcher: What you call destiny is just an equation, a product of variables. Right place, right time, or in some instances, the wrong place at the wrong time. As fate would have it, at that very moment, a Ravager spacecraft was arriving on Earth to abduct the spawn of the Celestial, Ego. But in this universe, Yondu outsourced the assignment to his subordinates. Yondu: You morons grabbed the wrong kid!

For start this episode doesn’t try to rewrite a single movie, but by taking pieces of assorted movies “Thor: The Dark World” (for Tivan) “Guardians of the Galaxy” (for the idea of the setting), “Black Panther” (for T’Challa), “Avengers: Infinity War” (for the Black Order), “Captain America” (Tivan has his shielf), “Thor: Ragnarok” (TIvan has and uses Hela’s headpiece, talking of her as if he knew her and we can see he also has Thor’s hammer), “Thor: The Dark World” (Tivan has Malekith’s dagger) creates a completely different timeline by changing something that happened in 1988 and then jumping straight in… 2014, I presume, where a lot is different but we aren’t meant to see the process due to which things were changed, just to accept how T’Challa, kidnapped as a kid by the Ravagers, managed to make the difference.

In fact the whole theme of this episode is that T’Challa is a hero and a role model that gets success and admiration by TALKING TO PEOPLE AND PERSUADING THEM TO DO THE RIGHT THING. He’s meant not to have a character arc but to create a world that’s the best possible for people.

In fact we’re told just by talking with Thanos he persuaded him to stop his whole plan without using violence.

Korath: How exactly did you stop Thanos, the Mad Titan, from decimating half of the universe? Oh, no. Thanos: I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong. T'Challa here showed me there was more than one way to reallocate the universe's resources. T’Challa: Sometimes the best weapon in your arsenal is just a good argument.

I mean, he doesn’t just turn the Ravagers into Robin Hood’s “merry men”, he talks with Thanos and Thanos decides to change his ways.

This is great, a wonderful message, a message against violence, a message about the power of the words and it makes T’Challa a real hero who, just by talking, saves the universe from Thanos but… but T’Challa from the movies was maybe not so good at persuading people from not doing wrong but he still had something amazing that made him very human and, at the same time a role model.

T’Challa wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes… but then he would admit them and correct them.

In “Captain America: Civil War” he wants to kill Bucky in retaliation for what happened to his father…

Natasha Romanoff: T'Challa. Task force will decide who brings in Barnes. T'Challa: [He clenches his fist.] Don't bother, Miss Romanoff. I'll kill him myself.

…but then he understands killing his father’s murder would be wrong and even stops Zemo from committing suicide.

T'Challa: Vengeance has consumed you. It's consuming them. [He blinks ruefully and retracts the claws in his gloves.] I am done letting it consume me. Justice will come soon enough. Helmut Zemo: [Holding a gun Zemo smiles thinly.] Tell that to the dead. [He tries to shoot himself but T'Challa grabs him just as he fires.] T'Challa: The living are not done with you yet.

And the same goes in “Black Panther”. At first he doesn’t want to ask Killmonger his name because he knows he is his uncle’s son and this would give him the right to compete for the throne as well as expose what his father did…

Killmonger: Oh, I ain't requesting nothing! Ask who I am? Shuri: You are Eric Steves. An American black operative. A mercenary nicknamed Killmonger. That's who you are. Killmonger: (LAUGHING) That's not my name, Princess. Ask me, King? T'Challa: No. Killmonger: Ask me. T'Challa: Take him away.

…but then he’ll acknowledges they had wronged him, will show him Wakanda’s beauty and will change things in Wakanda. T’Challa in the movies isn’t as perfect as T’Challa in the “What if” episode. He can’t solve everything and make the world perfect. He isn’t always right. He gets angry, vengeful, afraid of the truth. But then he rises above this and does the right thing.

“What if” T’Challa is a model of perfection that’s admirable… but that sits simply too high above the original T’Challa who also had to deal with Thanos but didn’t even think he could change his mind just by giving him a talk… and with good reason.

Younger kids might not realize because they might have not fully grasped how Thanos was a genocidal maniac, who massacred millions even prior to the snap, tortured his daughters and even removed body parts from Nebula. They might swallow it was just that easy to talk him into not doing the snap, and Thanos only needed someone to tell him it was wrong… and that in truth he loved Nebula… but for older viewers while beautiful, this is simply unbelievable.

And what about Yondu and the Ravagers? Just because they had T’Challa they became good and righteous. This is how Peter Quill described Yondu in “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” which still gives a sympathetic portrayal of Yondu:

Quill: He wasn't my father. Yondu was the guy who abducted me. He'd beat the crap out of me so I'd learn how to fight and he kept me in terror threatening to eat me.

But T’Challa doesn’t seem to have such complains against Yondu.

Now… In Quill’s case Yondu kept Quill so as to protect him from Ego…

Yondu: Once I figured out what happened to the other kids, I wasn't gonna just hand you over.

…yet he kidnap him and tells him his home was destroyed so as to manipulate him into staying… but this is so easily forgotten by T’Challa to the point children might not even realize it was there. Yondu was a good dad for him, he kidnapped him because T’Challa was basically wasted at home.

Yondu: Sometimes you need to hear a lie to see the truth. You're just like me, T'Challa. T’Challa: I am nothing like you. Yondu: You're an explorer, Star-Lord. And for people like you, like us, the past ain't nothing but a prison. You don't belong down there with them. You belong up here with us, with your family.

Although T’Challa doesn’t seem to agree at first… in the end all is forgotten.

Yondu: Look, T'Challa, I just wanted to say... T’Challa: There's no need. I was the one who told you I wanted to see the world. All you did was show me the universe.

and

T’Chaka: (Voice shaking) My son, my son. I knew you would find your way home to us. T’Challa: I'm sorry it took me so long. Let me introduce you to the family I made along the way.

All this is to basically excuse the premise, something horrible like kidnapping a child is passed as not really something terrible so that kids wouldn’t deal with its emotional implications and can even think that it was a pity that, in the normal universe, it was Peter Quill that was kidnapped… without realizing that kidnapping is bad and that in T’Challa’s case Yondu wasn’t even doing it because he wanted to protect him. Actually it’s unexplained why, all of sudden, Yondu felt the need to keep T’Challa and completely forgot about Quill, didn’t even care about making sure Ego wouldn’t find Quill despite, thanks to T’Challa, becoming a better person. It’s another change, one that people knowing the movies is bound to notice but not kids.

So again, for who knows the movie well, the story ends up being weak and this is also because, while T’Challa could persuade Thanos off screen not to commit genocide… all of sudden his persuasive power isn’t even really tested out with Tivan. Tivan is the big evil… yet he’s somehow less fearsome than Thanos because we clearly don’t want to scare the kids.

So again, wonderful for young audience who doesn’t remember well the movies… not so solid for who’s older.

And so we move to “What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” which is absolutely my favourite so far. This one at a first glance seems to be a “What if” of a comic named “The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week”.

The awesome thing of this story is we don’t know what changed the universe, we only discover that someone is killing off the Avengers before they could become the Avengers, starting with Tony Stark.

The mystery is, at a first glance, cool, the idea original, Natasha gets a big role as she investigates and even fights things along with Fury and, again, children will likely not really realize how the “What if” is actually changing the settings even when they’re supposedly not related to the change that caused this parallel reality, the death of Hope van Dyne. I mean, we can start our list of changes with the random funny things that has no reason to happen because Hope’s death shouldn’t have made Coulson and Barton to be so appreciative of Thor’s hair, something they never bring up in the movie…

Coulson: Whoa. I got visual on the intruder. He's a Caucasian male, mid-twenties with... really great hair. Fury: Excuse me? Coulson: It's an accurate description. Sir, he's gorgeous. Fury: I need eyes in the sky. Barton. Barton: Already on it. He's making a move on the hammer. One shot, one kill, sir. Just say the word. Fury: Hold your fire. I wanna see this. Barton: Whoa. Coulson wasn't lying about the hair. That's nice.

…to continue with more plot related matters like how Betty should have known Banner had intruded in her lab dressed up as a delivery boy and was now hiding in a wardrobe… but if we want we can forgive them. Maybe Hope’s death really changed some things in weird ways we couldn’t predict… but the place with the biggest revolution seems to be Asgard… which actually shouldn’t have been affected by by Hope’s death AT ALL and instead the situation is completely different from how it were in “Thor” to the point I could write a 20 pages meta on the changes. But, if we assume this episode is aimed at children, it works because the “Thor” situation was complicate and here instead they show solely some random and confuse elements that children might have picked up from talks about the movies… but that weren’t like that in “Thor”.

And again we have messages that can be good for children, how a father will love his little girl, how Nick Fury will save the day even without the Avengers, how:

Fury: S.H.I.E.L.D. is people, people willing to give their lives for something greater than themselves to save the world from men like you.

…and how in the darkest time new heroes will always come to save Earth as when Loki take over because it seems there are no more Avengers, Fury can still count on Carol Danvers and Steve Rogers.

Coulson: The Avengers fell before they had a chance to rise. May they rest in peace. Fury: They can, but we won't. The Avengers were always meant to be more than a team. They were an idea, the affirmation of humanity's need to believe that in our darkest hour, we will find our heroes. Watcher: I believe that in this universe, as in every other, hope never dies. As long as someone keeps their good eye on the bigger picture.

It’s a good message about hope… but again, it’s something for children. We’re meant to believe Earth could be conquered in one day time without struggle whatsoever… and that only the heroes could save it. Children might not remember it but in “The Avengers” humans tried to nuke New York to stop Loki… the idea they would just sit and say ‘whatever’ to Loki’s domination makes it look as if they actually agree with him to an adult… but, of course, the battle of New York is something we might not want to show to a little child.

And now… something else that’s relevant.

I said the “What ifs” are good stories for children… but we’re talking of young children here because if the child is a little older they can end up passing a completely wrong message.

Remember "What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?" and how it tackled sexism as an absurd behavior to keep? How Captain Carter overcomes it? By using her supersoldier powers to beat the Nazi. She shows as a supersoldier she works.

Does she turns over the concept that ‘Women aren't soldiers, and they sure as hell don't fight on the front lines. They might break a nail’?

At most she proves she can be a soldier. She doesn’t fight using the fact she’s a woman as her strongest point, she fights using her super strength as her strongest point… where Steve Roger’s strongest point wasn’t his enhanced strength but his moral values. Peggy proves as a super soldier she’s equal to Steve… but Steve as a super soldier proved he was better than Red Skull. Peggy’s actions in the story doesn’t cause people to revalue women in general, just her. People either aren’t sexist and accept her regardless of her genre (Howard, Steve) or they’re sexist but accept her because she is strong.

It’s meaningful that when she thinks Steve is dead Flynn goes back to his old mindset…

Flynn: She should never have been in the field in the first place.

… because the truth is he never changed it. Peggy had only yelled at them to stop calling Steve “Hydra Stomper” as his name was “Steve Roger” and Flynn decides she, not Steve who actually died, should have never been in the field.

They don’t show how Peggy got information from Zola, which seems to imply all she did to get them was to beat him up. Chester Phillips in “Captain America” manipulated him into talking with his intelligence only.

Do you know which were Peggy’s abilities in the universe in which she isn’t a super soldier? She’s a Master Martial Artist, an Expert Marksman, a Master Spy, an Expert Tactician, a Thief and can speak and read English, Russian and German fluently as well as use a convincing American accent.

This is hardly noticeable though in her own story.

Howard: Should we not have a plan? Peggy: Who needs a plan? I have a shield. Howard: A shield is not a plan. Oh, Carter...

She was a tactician!

Now… she has a shield. But whatever girl wants to be like her won’t have a shield, nor a super serum. To be a real role model for girls who aren’t anymore children Peggy needed to have qualities they too could have that would empower her. The only good moment is when she understands what Howard plans to do:

Howard: If I can get to the controls, I can transpose the ingress and do science stuff. Peggy: You mean transpose the polarity and reverse the suction? Howard: Being the genius is my thing.

But again, the irony here is that this is no genius plan, middle school students had probably seen him being done in movies and cartoons already. It might seem genius idea to kids, but when you’re older it hardly sounds like one… and when Howard complains all in the machine is written in German they don’t have Peggy show her knowledge of it, and translate the words as she fight, she just fight and he’s supposed to figure things out.

“Captain America” is a role model for what he has inside. I’m sure Peggy Carter has plenty of things inside her as well… but “What if” makes it more about the super strength she has gained.

Where Steve gains Phillips’ respect, Flynn’s respect is more a façade due to her successes thanks to her super strength, and that respect gets pulled back as soon as she gets upset by his behavior. Sure, Flynn is a worse person than Phillips in this black and white world but this too is part of the narrative. If Peggy can’t permanently win over sexism in one person, it’s not real victory at all. If what’s remarkable about her is how she fights (due to the serum) then who didn’t have it, will never have a hope. Peggy Carter was more of a female model when she wasn’t supersoldier, she felt more of a role model in “Captain America”, when she got to do this with her own strength:

Peggy Carter: Put your right foot forward. Gilmore Hodge: Mmm… We gonna wrassle? Cause I got a few moves I know you’ll like. [suddenly Peggy punches him hard in the face. Col.Phillips drives up] Col. Chester Phillips: Agent Carter. Peggy Carter: Colonel Phillips. Col. Chester Phillips: I see you’re breaking in the candidates. That’s good!

…than when she punched Nazis thanks to being a super soldier. Peggy has never been a fragile Fräulein, but this episode seems to remark she’s not one merely because she has taken the serum.

As a result… she sets an impossible role model for girls. If the key to be (partially) respected and accepted by males is to get the super soldier serum and/or the shiled… well, that serum doesn’t exist, not does the shield.

And a similar problem exists in “What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?”

Teaching a small child he can solve problems by talking and not by hitting is important… but passing the message that you can stop bullies or worse just by talking to them is again setting an impossible role model. People like Thanos can’t be stopped with just words. People like Yondu and the Ravagers wouldn’t become Robin Hood and his merry men merely because they have with themselves a young boy who tells them the right things… and what Yondu does to T’Challa is worse than what he did to Quill and having been kidnapped as a child shouldn’t be waved off so easily. We’re not talking of Yondu finding an orphaned T’Challa and raising him, if he had picked up N’Jadaka after he lost his father it would have been different, but here, he just ripped a child from a loving family, a family he loved back. And it’s almost presented as a good thing because this causes the universe to be saved by Thanos, Yondu’s lie giving T’Challa the motivation to try to to make the universe a better place.

Nebula: You lost your home, and now you save everyone else's.

And problems continue with “What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” because there, the solution, the hope, is presented solely by the superheroes. No one opposes to Loki, the whole Earth is expected to be saved by Captain America and Carol Danvers. The one who refuses to kneel to Loki is Fury, who’s considered special. We don’t have in this story a lone old man who’s standing stubbornly despite the threat.

LOKI: Kneel before me. [The crowd ignores him. Three more Loki's appear, surrounding and blocking the crowd from escaping.] I said KNEEL! [While the crowd quietly kneels, Loki embraces out his arms with a wide smile] Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel. ELDER GERMAN MAN: [As the words resonate to the kneeling crowd, an elder German man refuses to kneel and stands, heroic.] Not to men like you. LOKI: There are no men like me. ELDER GERMAN MAN: There are always men like you. LOKI: Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example. [As Loki is about to execute the man with his scepter as the light glows blue. Right as the energy beam shoots out, Captain America arrives, diving in just in time to block the blast with his shield, and knocking down Loki]

So basically in this series heroes set impossible standards… and are the only ones who can save the day. It can be fun for an adult, as he doesn’t need role models… but for a boy who’s no more a small child but not yet old enough to do without viewing heroes are role models, the heroes presents a standard that is something unattainable. And this is bad because he too might enjoy watching the show, but the show gives him no hope… where ironically, Marvel movies were about giving positive role models in which you could identify.

Overall I stay my case, the “What if” series is definitely enjoyable… but the bar for the target audience is set to a very young age, they don’t really follow the idea that one small change can realistically change everything because they actually intrude plenty of small changes for their setting to work, and might end up not giving the right message if you’re in between a age between a small child and an adult. Of course future “What if” episodes might change, and I will probably still love them because I adore what if… but I would love them even more if they had aimed to a target audience a little older… making their heroes, more realistic role models which can be emulated and if they had respected their own premise, that ONE SINGLE CHANGE can create a completely different new reality.

What changed in the Peggy episode wasn’t just Peggy not sitting on the booth. What changed in the T’Challa episode wasn’t just Yondu sending his subordinates to pick up a kid. What changed in the mightiest heroes episode wasn’t just Hope dying.

The fact you need more changes in order to make the difference makes the initial point that one change can make the difference void. You destroy your own premise… and this is not really a great idea.

But whatever, I guess if the idea is that the audience is really young, they didn’t expect the audience to pick this up but just to swallow their idea that ‘a moment created a new universe’.

MEDIA MENTIONED:

Movies: “Iron Man 2” (2010), “The Incredible Hulk" (2008), “Thor” (2011), “Captain America: The First Avenger” (2011), “The Avengers” (2012), “Thor: The Dark World” (2013), “Captain America: The Civil War” (2016), “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” (2017), “Thor – Ragnark” (2017), “Black Panther” (2018), "Avengers: Infinity War” (2018), “Captain Marvel” (2019)

Comics: “The Avengers Prelude Fury's Big Week” (2012)

#mcu what if #mcu iron man 2 #mcu the incredible hulk #mcu thor #mcu captain america the first avenger #mcu the avengers #mcu thor the dark world #mcu guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 #mcu thor ragnarok #mcu black panther #mcu avengers infinity war #mcu captain marvel #9 worlds study

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cilldaracailin · 3 years

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Save Me

Hello My Tumblr Lovely’s,

Here is the last part to this current Robyn and Taron story. Thank you so very much for all the reads, comments and support for this story and series. The next story in the series will appear in the next few weeks once I am finished writing it.

This part needs no disclaimer except to say that I don’t know Taron or his family and this all just fiction.

Suze xx

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Taron was pleased to have the tough conversation finished with, so glad Robyn really understood where he was coming from and now felt he could properly relax and let his body rest. He tried to hide a yawn but he bought his hands to his mouth to cover it in the end.

“You want a scratchy head massage?” Robyn saw the effort he made to try and not yawn but the fatigue was so evident on his face. “It’s the least I can do for you.”

Taron just wanted to throw himself onto her legs so she could get started on his head massage that second but tried to appear not interested, giving his shoulders a shrug. “If you want.”

“I know you want.” Robyn shuffled down the couch opening up the space between them. She was about to pat her legs, but Taron had already moved and was ready to lay his head on her legs and she smiled down at him as he settled on his back, his head on her lap, his hands resting on his stomach, his feet dangling off the edge of the couch. She let her right rest gently on his head and slowly started to move her fingers, massaging the crown of his head, seeing his eyes close as she applied a tiny bit of pressure with her finger tips to his scalp. As she scratched his head, she let her left hand rest on his hands and her smile grew even more when he moved his hands so her hand was caught in-between his two.

“Massages and cupcakes. I love coming to see you.” Taron said quietly as he tilted his head back into her hand.

His words made her grin. “My Welsh knight in shining armour, always coming through for me.” She replied to him.

Taron didn’t answer her but kept his eyes closed, enjoying the wonderful sensation on his head. He had to admit, it was something he had expected to get from Robyn but not so soon. Hearing her speech, he knew he didn’t have to give his two cents on what she had done. He could see she was sincere as she spoke and had said all he wanted to say, so was very happy to move on and away from their tough morning, not wanting to linger on hurt feelings for either of them. As far as he was concerned, all was very much forgiven and he was ready to just enjoy his time with her. Taron was so thrilled to be under her hands, getting a perfect head massage and knowing that although his reason for coming initially hadn’t been a happy once, everything had worked itself out in the end.

As she ran her fingers in circles through his hair, Robyn could see him trying not to smile under her hand but his eyes were creasing a little at the sides. “Your hair is growing.”

“So you told me earlier. Going to be cut this week though.” His eyes rolled behind closed lids as Robyn took her left hand from his hands and now was using two hands to knead his head behind his ears. It was absolutely heaven for him and so badly needed not only after a rough day but a long week on set too. “Has to be cut for scene consistency.”

“Well, I am glad I got to see it a little longer.” As her right hand rubbed his head, her left index finger moved to stroke his nose and she heard the deep exhaled sigh he made and she continued to stroke his nose before going over his eyebrows, knowing he liked that. She was very happy to and wanted to give Taron all the forms of perfect relaxations she knew he enjoyed, needing to show him how much she did appreciate him. Rubbing her finger over his left eyebrow, she had seen the slightly unevenness of the brow before, the slanted scar midway through his brow but never asked him about it. “What happened here?” She enquired, lightly running over the marred skin.

“Bike accident as a kid.” He answered, feeling the wonderfully soft caress of her finger on his forehead “Lot of blood and left a mark.”

“So, I can see.”

“Lots of little scars you don’t know about yet. Just like secret hidden tattoos.” He grinned.

“It wasn’t a secret.” Robyn defended. “Just not talked about.”

“So, a secret then.” Taron repeated, moving a little away from as she tickled his side. “No more tickles. Head massages was the agreement.”

“Okie dokie.” Robyn agreed and concentrated on massaging his head, varying the pressure with her hands, making sure to get a little extra face massage in for him too. As the time moved on, she could see his eye lids flutter, hear his breathing deepening and knew he was slowly heading for a comfortable sleep. “Should we move this to the bedroom?” Asked Robyn, rolling her eyes at her own words. “Yeah, I know, I know.” She saw sparkly green eyes staring at her. “What I meant is that I can see you starting to doze so let’s move to where you can sleep more comfortably.”

“What time is it?” He asked her.

“Just before six.”

“Way too early to go to bed.” He said, stretching out, his arms going over his head in a delightful long body stetch.

“Well, if you insist on a head massage, I know you are going to fall asleep on me.”

“But I don’t wanna!” He said crossing his arms over his chest.

“Taron, you are tired.” Robyn answered his childlike response.

“Am not. You are tired.”

“Taron!” Robyn gently slapped his chest. “We are both tired and we also both know that this couch does nothing for your back.”

“Don’t wanna.” Taron said again moving to sit up, crossing his arms over his chest once more.

“Taron David Egerton.” Robyn turned to face him.

“Robyn Rose Quinn.” Taron sunk down in the couch. “No sleeping.”

“Ok well what do you want to do then?” She asked him. “I mean the cosy bed sleeping is your favourite.”

“I wanna dance.”

“What?” Robyn became very confused. “Dance?”

“Yeah.” He got to his feet. “Alexa, play We Found Love by Rihanna.”

Robyn stared at Taron as he got some music playing and moved away from the couch, around the coffee table and to in front of the television, a wide smile on his face as the first beats of the song came on. She was still puzzled by what Taron was up to, why all of a sudden he wanted to dance and her eyes opened wide as he started to sing along loudly to the words, bouncing from one foot to the other, his bounces becoming higher as the stronger beat of the song kicked in, his voice echoing around the living room as he continued to sing.

“Taron…” Robyn stopped speaking when he held his hands up to her and then indicating that he was singing and dancing as he moved his feet.

As the dance break kicked in, Taron was really feeling the music and started to move his body some more, taking steps forward and backward, moving his knees and then his arms over his head back and forth, hearing laughing coming from the couch. “What?” He asked loudly over the music.

“That is the worst dad dancing I have ever seen!” Robyn was almost embarrassed for him as he showed off his moves.

“Dad dancing!” Taron shouted. “How dare you!” He continued his shuffle, now moving his hips too, turning around to shake his bum, knowing his reason for doing so would be worth it as he heard some more deep laughter from Robyn. He jumped back around to face her and clapping his hands in time to the music, side stepped to the island and picked up his hat and put it on backwards and then his sunglasses on his face. Giving his all, pushing his tiredness to the side, he jumped up and down on his way back to the centre of the living area, giving his dancing everything he had, letting the music fill him, closing his eyes behind his glasses and moving his hands in the hair again, going back to jumping up and down, his head nodding along to the beat. He went back into terrible dad dancing mode and made his way towards Robyn who was still laughing at him. “Come dance with me!” He said to her holding his hands out to her.

“Hell no! This is your time to shine and show off you moves.”

“Come and dance with me!”

“No!”

Taron gave her a grin and shuffled his way towards the piano and where he knew her Alexa was set up and pressed the increase volume button a few times, until the music was very loud. He shuffled back to her, moving his shoulders and held out his hands again. “Come and dance with me!” He shouted. “Or I will pull out the running man and water sprinkler.” When she didn’t make a move, Taron immediately started to move his legs in his best attempt at the nineties dance and before he could even get his hand behind his head to start the sprinkler dance, he looked to Robyn. “Dance with me! I have more.” He held out his hands and smiled as Robyn reached out to take them and he pulled her to her feet and dragged her towards the open space in front of her coffee table and in time with the music started to jump while still holding her hands. “Come on chicken!”

His sudden energy was spilling from every part of him but it was his beautiful dimpled smile that changed her mind and joining in with him, she started to jump up and down in time to the music, both dancing as if they were in the middle of a nightclub and the DJ was playing the best set and she found a similar smile on her face as he twirled her around. Once back facing him, she took his hat from his head and pulled it sideways onto her own. Reaching forward she took his sunglasses too and slipped them on, giving into the dance music and dancing around with her hands in the air, singing along to the words with Taron both clapping in time to the music.

Taron was impressed with his quick little plan, something to lift both their moods and knew she would give into him if he acted silly and watching her jump around, wearing his hat and glasses, nodding along to the music, dancing as if she had no care in the world was exactly what he had wanted and he could see her anxiety really melting away and although he knew both of them were exhausted, the rhythmic song was perfect to infuse a little energy into them, to help them release some pent up feelings and to just be silly together. He went straight for his dad dancing again, laughing loudly and Robyn joined in, both of the moving their legs and arms in similar fashion until the beat picked up and they turned back to typical club dancing, just bouncing around the room together.

Robyn took his sunglasses off and held them in her hand as she found it hard to see through the tinted glass and wanted to see Taron in his element, laughing and smiling and enjoying himself. It was a lift she desperately needed, a way to just let go and together have some fun. The song ended and both were a little breathless but smiling widely.

“See dad dancing, all the rage!” He came to stand beside her, fixing his hat so it sat properly on her head.

“Guess it is catchy.” She put his sunglasses back on.

“They suit you.” Taron reached forward to make the glasses sit a little more straight. “Maybe a bit too big.”

“I don’t really wear sunglasses. When I am driving, but that’s it.”

“I wear them a lot. Good for paparazzi flashes. Hiding tired eyes.”

“You have more reason than me.”

“What about when you go on holidays?” He watched as she shook her head. “Not even on holidays?”

“Tan lines.” She simply said, taking his glasses off. “I have this thing about tan lines.” She saw Taron raise an eyebrow and how his smile quickly turned boyish and shy. “Head out of the gutter. Thanks for the dance. It was needed.”

“You are welcome.” He answered her taking his glasses back. “The idea just came to me.”

“Because you didn’t want to go to sleep.”

“I just don’t want to over sleep. It’s still a bit early.”

“Over sleep?”

“If I get too much sleep tonight, then I will find it harder to get to sleep tomorrow night and I have an early rise on Monday.” He saw Robyn look away from him. “Hey, don’t make me put on another dance track cos I will. I am glad to be here with you.”

“I can drive you back tomorrow.” Robyn looked to him. “I would be happy too.”

“Thank you and I know you would but Matthew organised a driver for me. He is coming for me around six. We still have the rest of this evening, which I think will be spent sleeping for both of us and then tomorrow where we have to make cookies.”

“Make cookies and maybe have another dance?"

Taron laughed. “Sure. We can do that too but I have something else we can do this evening before we hit the hay.” He saw the little apprehension in her face. “I think we should ring the lady in the hospital, Penny, to book an appointment for you to talk to her.”

Robyn bit her lip and then nodded. “I think that is something we should do.”

“Yeah?” Taron asked not used to hearing Robyn agree so readily with him.

“Yeah. I think it is something I need to do, to talk to her. Like I said earlier, I can’t keep going on like this.”

Taron nodded “And then there is something else I think we should do.” He saw her face fall again. “I think we definitely need to ring Mari to give her your RSVP to her birthday invite.”

Robyn’s face turned into a happy smile. “I think we should definitely do that.”

“Penny first though?” He confirmed taking off his glasses and dropping them on the coffee table.

“Sure.” Robyn agreed and left his hat beside his sunglasses on the table.

“Let me get my phone and the number.” Taron walked to the bathroom to get the piece of paper he had dug from his jeans pockets before he stripped for the shower, picking it up from the window sill and then grabbed his phone from the kitchen island on the way, coming back to the couch, going straight for the corner, moving cwtch a little so he could sit in his usual space, sinking happily into the soft material.

“Miss your corner?” Robyn asked watching as he got comfortable, sitting beside him, reaching over his legs to grab cwtch.

“So much and as comfy as ever. I don’t think we will stay here too long. I can feel my body quickly getting sleepy again.” Taron said as he opened the crumbled piece of paper, the hand written phone number for Penny inside. He quickly tapped the number into the keypad on his phone. “Want me to do this for you?” He asked seeing from the corner of his eye how tightly Robyn was cuddling cwtch.

“You mind?”

“Not at all.”

With a nod, Robyn moved so she could lean her head on Taron’s shoulder, keeping cwtch nestled to her chest, being close enough to him so she could hear the conversation on the phone as Taron booked her appointment. The lady on the phone was initially short with Taron, telling him she had no available appointments in the near future but once he mentioned Aiden’s name, explaining their situation, her tone changed and with a little sweet talking from the Welshman, Taron really putting on his accent, he got an appointment for Robyn for Wednesday evening just after seven and another for the following week for the two of them, Taron agreeing to a conference call, assuring the therapist that he would be able to schedule a break on his filming to take the call.

“Thank you so very much Penny.” Taron ended the call and gently let his head rest on Robyn’s which was still on his shoulder. “You ok?”

“Strangely yes.” She answered him. “Just another little bit of weight lifted from my shoulders.”

“See sharing is good.” Taron gave her a little nudge.

“So, I am quickly learning.”

“Can we call Mari now?” He asked. Thrilled with the change he could already see in her, Taron was so happy to move on to more lighter phone calls. “She is going to be so excited to know you can go to her birthday.” Taron lifted his head from hers. “I mean you can go right? I just presumed you would go now that your training is done. Can you take the days off to come to Aber?”

“The twenty second right?”

“Yep. It’s a Saturday. Her birthday is actually Friday but with school she asked to have a party on Saturday and if the weather keeps up the way it is back in Aber, she wants to do a family picnic on the beach on the Sunday, which of course you are invited to as well. I know it is a lot of days to ask off for you.”

Robyn smiled. “I will happily ask for the Friday and Monday off. I have some holiday days left and all that overtime I could use. Probably take a half day Friday though. I can finish around half eleven and then head to the airport.”

“My flight is booked for late Thursday evening. I am needed for important birthday celebrations on Friday morning and then equally important party planning business too when the girls are in school, so I need to be at home with enough time to take part in all birthday plans but I will be there for you at mine when you arrive in the afternoon. I am sure you will be dragged back to Mam’s that evening for even more birthday celebrations.”

“I think I would be very much ok with that. I never really had the opportunity to do the younger sibling or cousins birthday party thing. I am the youngest in my family.”

“You won’t be saying that on Sunday evening when it is all done. My sisters can be very loud.”

“I work with children.” Robyn gently reminded him. “I am used to the noise.”

Taron chuckled a little. “Well don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“When do you have to fly back?” She asked him, her cheek still resting on his shoulder.

“I head back Monday but quite early. We are on night shoots the week after Mari’s birthday weekend so I need to be back on set ready to go.”

“Are you flying from Dublin?” She asked with a little hope.

“Nope from Belfast.”

“I will book the days off and then the flights.”

“You sure you…”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Robyn interrupted him quickly. “I want to be there. I can’t tell you the last time I was invited to a costume party.” Robyn grinned as Taron’s face fell a little. “You forgot about the costume part, haven’t you.”

“Shit yes I did.”

“Really? I am sure Mari has been on about this for weeks now.”

“She has but I haven’t gotten around to sorting one yet. What are you going to dress up as?” He asked.

Robyn thought for a second. “I have no idea. I am only learning of my attendance at this moment so I have an excuse of not being prepared. You as the loving older brother, have none.”

Taron frowned at her. “Thanks for the help.”

“I am sure you can borrow something from the costume department from set or you must still be in contact with Julian from the Rocketman set. I am sure he can lend you an outfit.”

“Sure, because those costume are suited for a kids party.” Taron let his head drop back onto the couch.

“You will figure something out. Now shall we call Mari and let her know she has one more guest to her party?”

“Face time ok with you?” He asked picking up his phone. “If I just call, there will be two sad little sisters knowing I am here with you but yet they don’t get to see you.”

“And a mother too.”

“And mam too.”

“Sure, I don’t mind.”

Robyn moved her head from his shoulder as Taron clicked into his contacts to call his mother. He was trying to quickly figure out in his head what he was going to say to him mam when she saw that he was sitting on Robyn’s couch. His mam knew he had no plans to go and see Robyn any time soon, so needed an excuse fast to explain why he was suddenly with her, knowing full well that he was going to get one thorough questioning when he was alone. He felt Robyn lift her head, settling against him, still holding cwtch and finally felt that at the last the two of them were back to being themselves and he was so glad of it. Robyn had followed through with her promise of making the appointment and let him do it without fuss and now knowing she was going to be coming to Aber for the weekend, his whole mood was so excited for the upcoming trip home.

“Taron! Hello love!” His mam’s face appeared on the phone screen. “Nice to see you. On a break from filming? Thought you were caught up all day?” Tina gave him a wide smile, her head tilting lightly to the right. “You get a new couch in your trailer?” She asked him.

“Not quite.” Taron moved the phone so Robyn’s face came into view.

“Hi Tina.”

“Robyn! What a nice surprise. So lovely to see you.”

“You too Tina.”

“Taron, I thought you told me you didn’t have a day off till next weekend, that you didn’t expect to see Robyn for a while yet. Something about your work schedules clashing?”

“Yeah, that was what I had told you but…” Taron’s voice quietened.

“But he rang me last night to say that Matthew was pissed off at the weather and constant rain, that he called halt on filming for the weekend.” Robyn finished for him. “So, Taron called me and asked if he could come down for the night, take some time away from the set. I told him he knew was welcome to stay with me whenever he wanted so has come to see me for the weekend.”

“I got a lift down this morning around nine and was in Robyn’s just after eleven. Matthew wanted to try and finish one scene last night so we shot quite late and then he organised a car for me. I slept on the journey.”

“Well, I am sure you were glad it wasn’t a two hour wait at an airport and then an hour’s flight.” Tina smiled. “Nice to see you both finally got to take advantage of how close you are to each other.” She tried to keep her voice light and cheery but could see the exhaustion on her son’s face, the same matching fatigue on Robyn’s. She wondered just what on earth they had been through once again but trusted in her son and kept the smile on her face.

“It has only been two weeks since we saw each other.” Robyn replied.

“True but when you are ever going to be so close to each other again.” Tina asked. “And I know my Taron is partial to your baking.” Tina saw a light blush fill his cheeks. “So, what did you get this time? Cake? A pie? Home cooked meal?”

Robyn’s face filled with a wide grin, knowing well how embarrassed Taron was at the moment but she was very happy to feed into Tina’s light teasing. “Chocolate cupcakes with honeycomb shards.”

“Robyn, I do think you are in the wrong profession. I know you are wonderful at your job, but a future as a baker might also be calling you.”

Robyn laughed. “It crossed my mind once or twice. Owning a nice coffee shop where I could bake and feed people but childcare just happened to be something I was very good at, the only thing I could do well and know I could do right, so I like to just bake for myself now.”

Tina gave the young woman and understanding smile. “And Taron.”

“And Taron.”

“And my daughters and husband.”

Robyn chuckled. “Let’s just say your family.”

“And speaking of your daughters,” Taron interrupted. “Where are my little sisters? Robyn has something she would like to tell Mari.”

“Outside playing in the last of the evening sun. It seems it hasn’t reached Kilcreen yet.”

Robyn shook her head. “Not quite and I don’t see it happening any time soon. We are in the middle of an Irish summer. Rain and more rain.”

“Let me go and get the girls. Just give me two minutes.”

“Sure mam. Thanks.” Taron placed his phone on his lap and turned his head to Robyn. “Shall I just mind your house for you the weekend of Mari’s birthday? So much girl talk is going to happen, Mari is going to burst with excitement and once again, I will be pushed to the side for girl talk. Instead of going home I can chill on your couch with cwtch, sleep in your bed and snoop some more.”

“I don’t think there is anywhere else for you to snoop and you really think your sisters are going to let you do that? They must be so thrilled to have you home for a few days. It’s been a long time for you.”

Taron nodded, a happy sigh falling from his lips. “I can’t wait to go home. See my family.”

“Taron!”

A blur of colour dashed across the phone before it was picked up and two red faced girls appeared on the screen.

“Robyn!” Mari shot up from the couch when she realised who was sitting beside her brother. “Hi Robyn! And cwtch! Look Rosie. There is cwtch.”

“Mari move over. I can’t see!” Rosie gave her sister a small push. “Oh hey cwtch! Hi Robyn.”

Robyn and Taron watched a fuzzy screen for a about a minute before it settled down and Tina now held the phone, one of her daughters on each side. “Now that we have some sort of calm, let’s give your brother a proper hello and Robyn too.”

After the girls greeted their brother and Robyn in a way that pleased their mother, she moved the conversation quickly on.

“So Taron, you called me.” Tina coaxed. “You said Robyn had something she wanted to tell Mari?”

Robyn grinned as she watched the young girls sit up in on the couch, especially Mari. She could see her trying to hold in the burning joy she was feeling and Robyn didn’t want to make her wait too long to hear the news. “So Mari, I would like to officially accept your invite to your birthday party and say that I would absolutely love to go and be there and celebrate your birthday with you and your family and friends.”

“Really?” Mari asked, a little look of doubt in her face, not too sure if she should believe what she was hearing.

“Really really.” Robyn confirmed. “I am definitely going to be there.”

“Robyn! Thank you!” Mari jumped up from the couch, nearly knocking the phone from her mother’s hands. She brought her face really close to the screen. “Thank you for coming! It is going to be the best party and cwtch can come too and don’t forget you have to wear a costume.”

Robyn couldn’t help but smile at Mari’s enthusiasm. “I won’t forget about the costume but I don’t think cwtch can come. He needs to look after the house when I am gone. Rosie I am looking forward to seeing you again too.” She could see how the other little girl was feeling a little left out of the excitement and wanted to make sure she was involved in the conversation. “It has been a long time since we have seen each other.”

Rosie gave Robyn a little smile. “You are really coming?” She asked.

“Really coming.”

“And will you come to our beach picnic on Sunday too?” She asked, her voice hopeful.

“Of course I will, well I will if I am not intruding on a family day out.” Robyn snuck a glance to Tina.

“I know there is always room for one more at our picnic.”

“Thanks Tina. I must bring something.” Robyn thought out loud.

“Absolutely not.” Tina answered her thoughts. “I won’t have it. I am inviting you to our picnic. You are a guest and there is no need for you to bring anything but yourself.”

“And a swimming suit.” Mari added. “And a towel. We are going to go swimming in the sea. You will love the sea Robyn.”

Robyn saw the sideways glance from Taron. “I am sure I will. I think that sounds like a wonderful way to spend the day. Once everyone is sure I am not…”

“We will both be there.” Taron assured his family. “I know I am very much looking forward to a weekend at home and Robyn could do with few days break.”

“I am so happy Robyn! You are going to have the best time.” Mari’s eyes were bright. “This is going to be my favourite birthday ever!”

Rosie turned to her mam. “Can we go back outside?”

“Oh that’s it?” Asked Taron, still holding the phone, a light chuckle to his voice. “You get to hear Robyn is coming to your sister’s birthday and you’re done. Haven’t seen your brother in weeks.”

Rosie looked to the screen. “Taron you know I love you but the sun is nearly gone is and our friends are waiting for us and we will see you soon!”

“Mam can we go?” Mari asked. “It was my turn to jump rope.”

“Sure, go but say goodbye to Taron and Robyn first.”

With a quick and hurried goodbye, the two girls rushed around their mother and as fast as they arrived into the screen they were gone again.

“You absolutely sure you want to come Robyn? That was just a taste of what to you are to expect.” Tina asked, sitting back into the couch, alone without her daughters.

Robyn laughed. “I very much want to come along and like Taron said, I could do with a break.” She saw the tiniest look of concern flick through Tina’s eyes. Robyn knew she looked exhausted, that Taron held the same tiredness around his eyes and she sat up a little straighter, leaning a little more into him, still holding cwtch on her lap. “Taron was very kind and came to me on his day off, last minute to help me through my first aid training that I had today.” She saw that look of alarm fill Tina’s eyes again. “I hadn’t really told him about it and he has just been the most supportive friend for me over the last few hours. I know I would never have gotten through it if it wasn’t for him, hence the reason why I am looking forward to the break, to come back to Aber, to celebrate with Mari and your family. To have a picnic on the beach. Maybe get some freckles.”

“Well, I think you might be in luck then.” Tina nodded, hearing the honest relief behind Robyn’s words, knowing well something more had happened, so glad to hear that Taron had been right there by her side, supporting her just like she always did for him. “The weather is supposed to be beautiful the weekend of Mari’s birthday so you might just get your wish.”

“I will take a weekend away from the rain.” Robyn smiled. “Thank you Tina.”

“You know you are welcome here for a visit, and your mother, whenever you want.”

Robyn chuckled when she heard Taron’s sigh. “I will talk to my mam.”

“Robyn…” Taron hissed under his breath.

“Maybe my dad too. I think we could all do with a nice weekend away at the beach.”

“That would be lovely.” Tina laughed. She could see how uncomfortable her son was becoming, enjoying the obvious exasperation on his face. “Well look, I will leave you both to it and by it, I mean sleeping.” She saw a brief smile twinkle on both their faces. “Robyn, I look forward to seeing you in two weeks. Taron keep in contact with your mother.” She knew Taron understood the message behind her words and accepted his nod as a promise to call her. “I will try and keep the excitement to a minimum over the next weeks. No promises though.”

Robyn laughed once more. “You don’t have to keep the excitement in. I think I might just join in with it all.”

“My daughters and though he will never admit it, my son, will get a kick out of that too. Have a nice weekend you two. Sleep. Lots of sleep.”

“Will do. Bye mam.” Taron ended the call and slouched down a bit on the couch, dropping his phone to his right. He turned his head a little to his could look to her. “So, you told my mam what happened.”

Robyn bit her lower lip a little before answering him. “I hope you don’t mind. I respect your mother and really am trying to change my ways so knew she deserved the know the truth rather than a very well thought up and plausible lie. Your mam is a very perceptive woman and you know, changing, being truthful, the new me?” Robyn said with a raised eyebrow. “Plus, I think I might have saved you from a more serious and thorough questioning, maybe gained you some brownie points.”

Taron found himself smiling. “And invited your whole family to Aber.”

“Wales is close to Ireland and a nice little holiday spot.” She shrugged. “So, you think maybe we should follow your mother’s advice and get some sleep? Or is it still too early for you?”

Taron took a brief look to his watch. Just before seven, it seemed less early than when he looked at his watch an hour ago. “Yeah, I suppose.”

Robyn stood up and held out her hand for him to take, helping him to his feet and still carrying cwtch she made her way to the bedroom.

“Sorry for the mess.” Robyn cringed when she looked to her still unmade bed. “The bed clothes are clean, I promise.” She handed cwtch to Taron as he stood beside her and she quickly pulled the duvet cover up, straightening it out. “Just really haven’t been sleeping much, so haven’t been using the bed.” Robyn bent down to pick up two of her pillows and placed them on the bed, patting them down. “I have been dozing on the couch.”

“Robyn…” Taron placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s ok. Really. You don’t have to explain anything to me and too be honest, I am so tired at this point, I know as soon as my head hits that pillow, I will be snoring.”

“You better not be.” Robyn smiled at him.

“No promises.”

“Maybe I should just go to the couch.” She went to pull cwtch from his hands but he held onto the plush firmly.

“Absolutely not and I am pretty sure you are just going to deeply sleep too so you won’t hear a thing. Now can you mind cwtch for two minutes while I use the bathroom?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t give him all the cuddles.” Taron said seriously. “I need some of those too.”

“Never.”

She watched him walk into the closet and then the bathroom, closing the door behind him. While Taron got ready to sleep, Robyn put cwtch in the middle of the bed and did a quick tidy, picking up a bra that was thrown across her chair at the make-up table, a tank top from the floor and stashed them in her wardrobe, fixing the other side of the duvet. She was closing the curtains as he walked out of the bathroom.

“I used some of your toothpaste.” He said coming to stand at the side of the bed.

“Taron, you don’t have to tell me that. You are welcome to use anything. Get settled. Stick the TV on if you would like. I just need my own two minutes.”

“Sure.”

Robyn stopped at her PJ shelf and routed out a clean pair of blue stripped matching pyjama shorts and string top. She loved the warm fleece pyjama’s she was wearing but having to share her bed with Taron, she knew the long sleeved top and pants would just not work with the cuddle she was bound to be in soon. The shorter cotton set would work for the warmth he would give her, also knowing she wouldn’t need to plug her electric blanket in. After her own trip to the bathroom, she made sure all the doors of the laundry room and closet were closed, making her way into the bedroom, grinning as Taron was already laying on her bed, cwtch tight in his arms, his face buried into to the dinosaur’s soft fur. He was on his left side, curled in a ball, the duvet bunched up at his feet. She turned off the main light and the room plunged into darkness. She was used to walking in her room the darkness, her blackout curtains one of the first things she invested in as she decorated her bedroom and easily made her way around to her side. She turned on the bedside lamp on the locker and happily smiled as she looked to Taron. Yet to speak, or acknowledge that she was back in the room, she could see his eyes were already closed and his chest was moving with easy calm breathes.

“I guess you were right.” She said, turning the light off, getting up onto her bed, taking her time, trying to move him too much as she crawled towards him. “Asleep in seconds.”

“Your bed is just too comfortable.” A muffled reply came to her.

“So, you have told me many times. You too warm? Don’t want the duvet?” She asked him.

“No, not too warm. Just too cosy.” Taron snuggled a little more in the dinosaur.

“Can I pull it up?”

“Sure.” Taron was settled for the night. Fighting sleep, he was just about able to concentrate on what Robyn was asking him. He could get a whiff of his aftershave from cwtch and along with that beautiful fresh scent of fabric softener from the pillow his head lay on, he was very quickly hitting that hazy feeling of sleep. He felt the weight of the duvet on his body, smiling as Robyn smoothed it down over his shoulder. Sighing contentedly, he was so ready to sleep, to rest and recharge.

“So, want a cuddle?” Robyn eyes had adjusted to the darkness in her room and watched him open his right eye and look at her. “Or is cwtch getting them all tonight?”

“Can cwtch come too?” He asked.

“Sure.” Robyn had already settled herself on the pillow behind her head, laying on her back and was ready and waiting for Taron. He was a little slow in his movements, the weariness he felt so obvious as he took his time in shuffling closer to her and it took him a few seconds after he laid his head under her chin, to notice that she had changed pyjama’s and she could feel the smile on his face.

He wasn’t too sure if it was him or her who was radiating the heat but it was so lovely to be so close to her, even more so that he wasn’t sick and he could actually concentrate on the easy beat of her heart. Her skin was still lightly scented from her bath and it was so hard not to nuzzle a little lower but moved his face a little so the strap of her top wasn’t under his cheek and their skin was properly touching, gorgeously soft feminine skin touching his cheek. Always thankful for the size of her bed, Taron had enough space to cuddle close to her but still stretch his legs out to the side and not have them hanging off the bed and he found a perfect sleeping position, still on his side. The extra space was glorious and it was a sleep he was very much looking forward too. He placed cwtch in front of his stomach, by Robyn’s right side and as he slid his right arm over Robyn, his palm resting flat around her waist, the plush was snug between them. He opened his eyes and it took a few seconds for them to adjust to the darkness. It was so obvious she had changed, knowing well the bare skin that his face rested on was not on show before she went into the bathroom. “PJ’s too hot?” He asked as his cheek laid on Robyn’s bare shoulder, his face moving a littler lower, the tip of his nose brushing her skin.

“No, my house guest is.” Robyn answered him, already feeling the heat from Taron’s arm around her stomach sinking into her, the warmth from his face on her chest.

Another little smile found his lips, as she drew the duvet up over his shoulders. “Shorts?” He asked his eyes closing again. He hadn’t seen them, but figured she had changed her bottoms too.

“Naturally. Now sleep.” Robyn lifted her right hand to his head, gently running her fingers through his hair. “Thanks Taron.” She moved so she could kiss his head, keeping her fingers moving back and forth slowly.

“Always Robyn.” Taron answered slowly and sleepily. “Always.” He really wanted to stay awake, to enjoy the wonderful sensation of her hand in his hair, the increasing heat of their skin but he was asleep within minutes.

It took Robyn a little longer to drift off, very much enjoying the cuddle with Taron. Ever so thankful for the man in her arms, Robyn had never known a male to truly show their emotions with her in a way without anger or judgement. Taron had been nothing but patient with her, understanding and just so supportive and she knew she owed him so much. Lifting her left hand, she lightly stroked his nose and without thinking his slightly parted lips. She quickly moved her hand as he stirred a little, those adorable little sleepy noises she was getting used to hearing coming from him as he settled, his head moving lower on her chest. She was surrounded by his warmth in every way possible and placing her whole hand over his cheek, found herself kissing his head once again, her thumb moving very lightly to stroke his cheek.

“I love you Taron.”

Closing her eyes, she let her arms drape over his body and for the first time all week, finally felt herself again, free from ghastly nightmares and visions, having something to look forward too, someone to look forward to spending time with, someone to love with everything she had.

#Taron Egerton #Taron Egerton Fanfiction #Taron Egerton Fanfic #Taron Fanfic #Love #Friendship #Cuddles #Conversations #Family #Plans #Trust #Loyalty #Talking #Honesty #Fluff #Hugs #Dance #Robyn and Taron

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tockzy · 4 years

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Heya guys, little rant post coming up so if you don't wanna see some idiot bitch complain about stuff here's your heads up so you can keep scrolling and havin' a good time.

So, IchiRuki/IchiHime people, can y'all tell me why these ships have their own thousand year blood War going on? Because when I see the IchiRuki posts saying that Kubo us a shitty writer because two characters didn't get together or the IchiHime posts actively antagonizing any and all IchiRuki shippers, be they toxic or not, all I can feel is disappointment. Because there's been moments throughout the series that can be used for either ship and they make absolute sense, but y'all also like to argue the same like 3 or so points that I'm gonna just, break down right now and give my two cents on why instead of shitting on eachother we should just respect everyone's opinion.

So, point 1: Rukia helping Ichigo "stop the rain in his heart".

We all know rain is an allegory for depression for Ichigo during the early story beats. he hates rain, Old Man hates rain, White hates rain, all that jazz. And when he saves Rukia in the soul society it stops (or at least that's what I remember, it's been a minute since I've watched/read the soul Society arc) and his anger and depression over failing to protect his mom are eased a decent amount. He's not "cured" of his depression or anything, but it's not affecting him as badly as it used to. Now, what this isn't, is Rukia being his Knight in icy armor clearing the clouds and making him happy. It's him feeling like he's making it up to his mom for not protecting her all those years ago, it's him finally protecting someone he's vowed to protect. He feels like he's finally made his mom proud.

He doesn't feel like a failure anymore.

Point number 2: Ichigo's reason for going to Las Noches.

A lot of IchiRuki people like to point out the fact that he says he went to Hueco Mundo and Las Noches to whoop Grimmjow's kitty ass. Which is true, but it's not just cuz he's some true battle freak like Kenpachi, it's cuz he's pissed off he couldn't protect his friends from Grimmjow and the other espada who roughed up his friends and wants to show them he's the boss. He's not disregarding Orihime here because just before he was trying his damnedest to fuck Ulquiorra seven ways to Sunday after he said "I'm the one who made her come here". Like, boy was pissed, and I understand why. I'd instantly attempt to murder someone too if they told me "hey yeah I kidnapped your girlfriend by manipulating her into going with me and branding her a traitor" dude. Of course him and Orihime weren't together at that time but she clearly means a lot to him, just like Rukia. So no, he wasn't just there cuz he wanted to fight, they had someone important to him and he was gonna fight tooth and nail to show them to not fuck with him or the people he cares about.

Point 3: "well Ichigo and Orihime got together and you'll just have to accept it" or anything similar.

This shit is just stupid. Don't say this to people. Just, respect that they didn't think it made sense for how that all went down. Their entitled to their opinion and we can't take that away nor should we try to. They can still make fan content for anything they want. The only time you should give any sort of rebuttal is if they're stating blatantly wrong information or shaming Kubo directly since he really didn't get to do a lot of what he wanted since he was always so rushed. Not to mention he was having health issues during the last arc. But other than that just let them have fun in their little community?

This last part is just gonna be me talking about a few things involving Ichigo's dynamics with the girls cuz I want to sorta just talk about why I think Ichigo would be just as happy with either girl, starting with Rukia.

So obviously we all know that Rukia kinda gets Ichigo out of his funks most of the time with her little speeches and giving him support. And while I personally see it as her way of friendship since she does similar things to other people she knows and aggressive support isn't necessarily a "hehe me like u" thing, but I do think her fiery attitude would be something Ichigo digs and their dynamic would be relatively healthy. BtwIchigowouldn'tmovetoSoulSocietyifhegotwithRukiathat'sdumb

Anyways, Orihime's turn.

Obviously she's that little ball if sunshine Ichigo desperately needs in his life, even if she is sorta ditzy or weird. She'd also show him that the rain isn't necessarily this horribly depressing thing I think. She sees it as something that connects people, which is kinda poetic tbh and I really think Ichigo would at least understand a bit and try not to always think of the rain meaning that night with his mom. She's also just extremely caring and would get on his ass for over exerting himself and make sure he actually rests when he needs to. Not saying Rukia wouldn't of course but Orihime would definitely worry about him that way more when it came to stress and stuff. AlsoIchigowontheGrimmjowfightwithsimppower

So um, yeah. Don't shit on eachother and just try and respect eachother please? Be like the gays, well behaved.

#bleach #This is really long I'm so sorry #I'm still working on those RWBY/Bleach posts dw #ichiruki #ichihime #Toxy's anime rants

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sidecarghost · 4 years

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Angels are Supposed to be Heartless

Summary: Angst-Ending Canon Balthazar POV of pre-Spn and Spn(s4-s6) Inspired by Castiel agreeing with Dean that angels are heartless in s4e10

Suptober Day 8 - Heartless

~~ Shortly after Creation ~~ Gabriel: Castiel, why aren't you sparring with any of the other angels? Castiel: No one has asked me to join them... Gabriel: Oh, let me see if I can help with that. *yells loudly* Who wants to have Castiel in their group? Balthazar: Castiel, you can join my group with Benjamin and Uriel if you'd like. Gabriel: You heard them hop to it, Castiel. Castiel: Hello Benjamin, Uriel, Balthazar. Benjamin: Nice to meet you Castiel. Uriel: Hello Castiel. Balthazar: I'm glad you joined us Castiel, now our group can dominate in the competitions. Castiel: I am glad too, brother. Balthazar: Thanks, but you are not just a brother to me anymore. Now you are my friend. Castiel: I'd like that Balthazar, what do friends do? Balthazar: Friends do everything together. Come on, Castiel, let's spar together. Castiel: Okay. Um... Balthazar? Balthazar: Is something wrong Castiel? Castiel: How long will we stay friends? Balthazar: I think forever, now that we are friends, Castiel. If it is okay with you, you've always got little old me. Castiel: Yes, I'll always have you. And you'll always have me too.

~~ 200,000 BCE - humans have been around for 200,000 years so my guess is that demons started existing around that time too ~~ Balthazar: Congrats on making Captain Castiel. Castiel: Thank you Balthazar, you've always been a good friend. Balthazar: It's nothing, but I'm looking forward to our first battles. Castiel: Yes, watching Earth has become pretty boring. Laying waste to demons will be a nice change. Balthazar: Our garrison has the best warriors in Heaven, so the demons won't even know what hit them. Castiel: Victory should be quick and decisive, I want to minimize any losses on our side. Balthazar: I don't know, I wouldn't mind losing Ishim. Castiel: Well, Ishim is my commander so I'd rather not lose him. Balthazar: Oh come on, that dick with wings. I think the only reason he outranks you is because the stick up his ass is almost as big the one stuck up Michael and Raphael. Castiel: I'm guessing a "stick up his ass" is an idiom and not meant to be taken literally. Regardless, Ishim, Raphael, and Michael are all dedicated to following God's will. So they have my loyalty and respect. Balthazar: They may have your loyalty and respect, but they don't deserve it. And yes, a "stick stuck up the ass" means you are uptight and prone to ruin anyone's attempt at fun or a good time. Castiel: By that definition, I feel like I also have a "stick stuck up my ass" then. Balthazar: Yes, but I don't hold it against you. On the contrary, I see it as my job as your friend to make you appreciate the finer things in life than duty and orders. Castiel: Your attempts to lessen my commitment to duty and orders will be entertaining but completely useless. Balthazar: Wouldn't be any fun if it wasn't a challenge.

~~ September 18, 2008 - the day of Lazarus Rising ~~ Castiel: I have been tasked with leading a troop of angels to Hell to resurrect the righteous man. The Apocalypse that has been foretold is coming to pass. Balthazar: Are you still playing their games for them Castiel? Castiel: I don't know what you mean by games. I need to rescue Dean Winchester because it is God's will. Balthazar: Did Raphael tell you that was God's will, because last I heard God hasn't talked to Raphael since the dawn of Creation. That was about fourteen billion years ago. Castiel: I didn't come here to argue Balthazar. This might be one of the most important missions ever undertaken by Heaven, and I value your friendship and your abilities in battle. Please join my troop and help me with the mission. Balthazar: Of course, Castiel. I will always follow you into battle. You can always count on little old me. Castiel: Thank you, my friend. Balthazar: So, which lucky angel gets to play babysitter to Michael's vessel after the rescue mission? Castiel: I think it will be Uriel and myself. Balthazar: Well, try not to fall in love with your ward. You don't want to end up like Anna. Castiel: I am committed to Heaven, no one could ever change that. And I would certainly never leave Heaven because of one man. Balthazar: I am sure that is true, but humanity tends to make things more complicated. Castiel: Your fear seems absurd, but I appreciate your concern.

~~ September 25, 2008 - the day of Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester ~~ Balthazar: So how is babysitting Michael's vessel going? Castiel: Dean is very obstinate. After pulling him out of Hell I was expecting more deference. Balthazar: Well, if you want my two cents. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Castiel: My vessel does not have the same shoe size as Dean. Balthazar: Oh, yes and use plenty of humor. Laughter is good for the soul, and humans have souls so good place to start. Castiel: I guess I have been used to obeying orders from Heaven since Creation. So I agree that trying to understand his perspective could make communication between Dean and I easier. Balthazar: That's right you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Castiel: I do like insects.

~~ November 20, 2008 - the day of Heaven and Hell ~~ Castiel: Do you think angels are heartless? Balthazar: I need some context for this question. Castiel: While Uriel and I were attempting to carry out a mission, Dean called us "heartless sons of bitches." Balthazar: Okay, and what was your response? Castiel: I told him that, as a matter of fact that is what we are. Balthazar: Because we are soldier's that exist purely to carry out God's will? Castiel: Yes, exactly Balthazar. Allowing yourself to be clouded by emotions would run counter to us fulfilling our purpose of carrying out God's will. Balthazar: I'm sorry, Castiel. I don't think I can answer your question about our purpose. I think it is up to each of us to discover on our own. If you believe carrying out God's will is your true purpose, I would never try to take that away from you. Castiel: Don't you feel the same way though? Balthazar: I am proud of who I am Castiel, but that doesn't mean I want to share it for judgement by other angels. Castiel: Well, I know who you are Balthazar. Balthazar: Let's hear it. Castiel: You are my friend. Balthazar: Of course, we will be friends until the universe burns out and beyond, Castiel. Castiel: Oh, I meant to tell you, I have a nickname now. The Winchesters gave it to me. Balthazar: Eww, is it contagious? Do they make some kind of inoculation to get rid of it? Castiel: Very funny Balthazar, the nickname they gave me is Cas. Balthazar: Cas, huh? Well I kind of like it, maybe humans aren't completely awful after all.

~~ May 14, 2009 - the day of Lucifer Rising ~~ Castiel: Balthazar, remember when you doubted the Apocalypse was the will of God? Balthazar: I doubt a lot things Cas, but yes I remember. Has Dean Winchester changed your mind on that score? Castiel: Well, it is hard to sit on the sidelines and watch these frail, short lived humans fight so passionately. They are so delicate, but they feel things so deeply and charge in where angels would fear to tread. Balthazar: They sound like fools to me. Castiel: I don't know if I would call them fools, but they are more stubborn then I would have ever predicted. Balthazar: Fools or not, you know I have been suspicious of Heaven's middle management. It seems like with Dad gone the angels upstairs have decided to become bullies and bores. So, if you have doubts about Zachariah I will gladly stand against him with you. Castiel: Thank you, Balthazar. I appreciate the advice and the support. Balthazar: Of course Cas, our friendship is one of the few things that really matters to me. You would need to become a megalomaniac like Raphael and his goons, before I could ever consider ending it. Castiel: If that is the case, then we will always be friends because I know I would never try to take over Heaven. I am a good soldier, but I'm not a leader. Balthazar: I can understand that, the angels in Heaven are a bunch of sheep. They would need so much of your attention it would drive anyone crazy. That is probably why dear old Dad flew the coop. Castiel: Maybe if the angels had free will, they would prove more capable then you think. Balthazar: Haha, I doubt it, but keep dreaming Cas, your optimism is adorable. Just watch out for vanity and hubris, Dad made pride a sin for good reason. Castiel: You don't need to lecture me on pride or sins, Balthazar. Balthazar: I only intended a friendly word of warning.

~~ May 20, 2010 - A week after Swan Song ~~ Castiel: Benjamin, the Apocalypse has been averted, but Raphael is looking to start it again. I'm looking for angels that will stand with me against Raphael. Benjamin: I will stand with you, and I am sure the other angels in our garrison will be loyal to you too Castiel. Castiel: Good, we will need all the help we can get if Raphael intends to wage a civil war. Benjamin: I trust you, my friend, although I am sad it has gotten to the point where angels are killing angels. Castiel: Yes, avoiding the Apocalypse seems to have saved humanity but damned Heaven. I guess all things must come to an end. Benjamin: Well, if Heaven must come to an end I am glad to be fighting on your side. I will talk to other angels in our garrison to enlist them under your flag as well. Castiel: Have you heard anything about Balthazar? I haven't seen him since Raphael kicked me into next week. Benjamin: I am sorry to tell you this brother, but Balthazar was killed during the first skirmish between Raphael loyalists and those sympathetic to your cause. Castiel: Where does Balthazar's body rest Benjamin? He was a very good friend. He put up with all my moods, and supported me in all my ideas. We fought countless battles together. He gave me sound advice whether I would listen to it or not. And he was the first angel to call me friend. Benjamin: I don't know where his body rests, but if I find out I will let you know. Castiel: Thank you Benjamin.

~~ October 8, 2010 - Third Man (source: following lines are from the script for this episode) ~~ Balthazar: Cas. You're here. Castiel: Balthazar. Balthazar: It's so good to see you Castiel: I grieved your death. Balthazar: Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry about that, you know. I wanted them to think, you know, so they wouldn't come looking for me? Castiel: You stole the Staff of Moses? Balthazar: Sure, sure. I stole a lot of things. Castiel: You were a great and honorable soldier. We fought together. Balthazar: Yes, too many times to count. Castiel: I know you. You're not some common thief. Balthazar: Common? No. Thief? Eh. Castiel: I need your help. Balthazar: I know. I've been hearing all about you, and as far as I'm concerned, you and me, Cas, nothing's changed. We're brothers. Of course I want to help you. [ Thunder crashes. ] Balthazar: Was that you? Castiel: *shakes his head* Balthazar: Oh, that's my cue then. Tell, uh, Raphael to bite me. [disappears] [Raphael and Castiel battle, Raphael prepares to stab Castiel with an angel blade.] Raphael: Somehow, I don't think God will be bringing you back this time. Balthazar: Hey! Look at my junk. [ Holds up a glowing crystal] Raphael: No! [ turns to salt from head to toe] Balthazar: *chuckles* Same thing happened to Lot's wife. Iodize the poor sucker, and your kitchen is stocked for life. Castiel: You came back. Balthazar: Well, now Raphael will have to go shopping for a new vessel. Should give me a nice long head start on him. Until next time. Castiel: Next time.

~~ February 25, 2011 - The French Mistake ~~ Castiel: Balthazar, we need to get your weapons for the war. Balthazar: The moment I go for them Raphael will be on top of us, and steal the weapons from under our nose. Castiel: So what do you propose? Balthazar: Well, we could send a decoy troop on a fake mission to get the weapons. Then Raphael would be occupied long enough for us to go to the actual location and gather them up before the old bird is any wiser. Castiel: Who could we send as a decoy? Raphael would expect only the best be sent on such a mission. And if Raphael guesses the team is just a diversion, we may never get the weapons. Balthazar: I know the perfect team to act as decoys. Castiel: Who? Balthazar: Two very stubborn, thick-headed humans that you seem to adore beyond all reason. Castiel: No, I won't put Sam or Dean Winchester in harm's way. Balthazar: Oh, they will be quite safe where I send them. I have learned a spell to open a portal to an alternate universe. And that universe has no supernatural in it. Castiel: How would they return if there is no supernatural there. Balthazar: I'll just pluck them back here after we've gotten the weapons from their actual location. It will take some time, but the Winchesters will probably enjoy a nice vacation from monster hunting. They can experience a little bit of normal life for a change. Raphael will send angels after the two brothers, but the angels will be power blocked. So Sam and Dean should have no problem taking them out. Castiel: Balthazar, we have been friends for a very long time, but if Sam or Dean are harmed in any way during your plan I will destroy you myself. Balthazar: Of course, I'd expect no less. No need to be so dramatic. Castiel: Ok, run your plan as you see fit. The mission will be successful as long as the weapons are secured, and Sam and Dean are unharmed. Balthazar: You know those weapons alone will not be enough to win against Raphael and his followers. Castiel: Yes, I am aware of that. Balthazar: Got any plans you'd like to share with little old me? Castiel: I may have something in the works, but I'm not ready to discuss it with anyone yet. Balthazar: I will try to get over the crippling pain caused by your lack of faith in me. Castiel: A guilt trip won't work. For my plan to succeed it requires the utmost secrecy. But if you have any other ideas, I am open to suggestions. Balthazar: We could get some more souls headed up Heaven's way. Castiel: How? Balthazar: Time travel to some tragic event in the past and prevent the tragedy. We could get plenty of souls for our war machine. The bigger the disaster the better the reward. Castiel: Okay, after we recover your weapons you can undo some disaster. I have the same conditions for that mission though, Sam and Dean Winchester can't have their timeline negatively impacted in any way. Balthazar: Yes, brother, I know. And I hope I get invited to the wedding after all the trouble I have gone through to keep them safe and sound. Remind me which one you are marrying again, is it the tall one with puppy-eyes or the freckle faced one with a sarcastic attitude? Castiel: I am not marrying Sam or Dean Winchester. Balthazar: Dean, that's right the righteous man you plucked out of perdition. Well, I did warn you to be careful back then didn't I? Castiel: This conversation is over.

~~ May 20, 2011 - Let it Bleed ~~ Castiel: I need your help finding Lisa and Ben. Balthazar: Well, we have something in common then. Which is nice, almost feels like old times. Castiel: You were already searching for Lisa and Ben? Balthazar: Yes, and this is really cramping my attempt to live out the remainder of my days in decadence. Castiel: It seems like Sam and Dean trust you more than they trust me. Balthazar: I can't imagine why they would. I've only met them a handful of times, and I try my best to ridicule and vex them. But I guess my natural charm must overpower their better judgement. Castiel: Everything I've done has been for Dean, but he refuses to understand that. Balthazar: Maybe, you started down this path to keep your friend Dean safe. But are you sure that you don't have other motives now? Castiel: No, Dean fought Heaven and Hell to stop the Apocalypse. He shouldn't have to suffer, because Heaven is managed by dicks with wings. I have to stop Raphael and his followers at any cost. Balthazar: Be careful, my friend, any cost may be much higher than you ever bargained. Castiel: I am committed to my current course Balthazar, no ominous warnings are going to make me give it up. Balthazar: I know, perseverance has always been your strength, don't let it also become your doom. Castiel: Are you going to nag me forever or can we find Lisa and Ben? Balthazar: Castiel, just no matter what happens between us. Please remember I love you, and I will always be your friend. Castiel: Is your intention to delay me until we have lost any chance for success? If so, then you should know by now that I won’t hesitate to kill those standing in my way, and because you were once a good friend I will give you a chance to flee now instead. Balthazar: No, delaying you was not my intention. Let’s go find Lisa and Ben, my old friend. Castiel: Good, after we find them I'd like you to go to Sam and Dean with their location. They seem to trust you more, and I wouldn't want Lisa and Ben to be harmed because Sam and Dean were unsure if they could trust information from me.

~~ May 20, 2011 - The Man Who Knew Too Much (source: following lines are from the script for episode) ~~ Dean: What the hell took you so long? Balthazar: Honestly? I was having second thoughts. Dean: About? Balthazar: About whether to help you. I was thinking maybe... Maybe I should rip out your sticky bits instead. Bobby: And what did you decide? Balthazar: Well... Cas and Crowley are there. That's where the show gets started. [Balthazar hands a piece of paper to Dean reads an address in Bootback, Kansas.] Dean: Alright, well give us a minute to pack up and then zap us there. Balthazar: Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. Dean: Balthazar. Balthazar: I'm betraying a friend here. A very powerful friend. We all are. So I think I've stuck my neck out far enough already. Good luck. [disappears] ~~ Balthazar: You rang, Cas? Castiel: Yeah. We have a problem. Dean Winchester is on his way here. Balthazar: Really? Oh. How'd he even know where we were? Castiel: Apparently we have a Judas in our midst. Balthazar: Ah. *chuckles* Holy hell. Who is it? I bet it's that bloody little Cherub, isn't it? Castiel: I don't know. But I need you to find out. Balthazar: Of course. Um, right away. Right away. Uh, but what do you want me to do about Dean? Castiel: Nothing. I'll handle him myself. Balthazar: Castiel? Are you alright? Castiel: First Sam and Dean, and now this. I'm doing my best in impossible circumstances. My friends, they abandon me, plot against me. It's difficult to understand. Balthazar: Well, you've always got little old me. [Castiel disappears and reappears behind his friend, and he stabs Balthazar in the back with his angel blade.] Castiel: Yes, I'll always have you. Balthazar: Cas... [As Balthazar dies, his light fills the building.]

~~ November 16, 2017 - Tombstone (source: following line is from the script for episode) ~~ Castiel: Jack, I've killed people who didn't deserve it... my friends, I've killed people I loved. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, that with time, it hurts less, but that would be a lie because it never gets easier. And those moments, they never stop hurting. But that doesn't mean that you should stop fighting. Doesn't mean that because you made a mistake and that's what this is, Jack. It's a mistake. That doesn't mean that you can't be better, do better. I believe that. I have to believe that.

~~ Epilogue ~~ [Castiel remembers a promise made billions of years ago to his friend] Balthazar: Is something wrong Castiel? Castiel: How long will we stay friends? Balthazar: I think forever, now that we are friends, Castiel. If it is okay with you, you've always got little old me. Castiel: Yes, I'll always have you. And you'll always have me too. [Castiel wonders why he ever thought angels were supposed to be heartless. Balthazar had clearly figured out long before he did that having a heart was not a weakness. Castiel wishes he had been as wise as his friend. Jack had made a mistake, a careless application of his power killed an innocent man. But Castiel had no such excuse, he had maliciously stabbed his friend in the back in cold blood.

Balthazar’s beautiful wings had been burnt into the wall of a decrepit warehouse. The angel that worshipped decadence and pleasure was killed ruthlessly in filth by his own friend. Balthazar had loved Castiel, and Castiel had betrayed that love in the most terrible way possible. Castiel had been a man obsessed and addicted to his own hunger for power. Once Castiel held that Purgatory jar in his hand, all thoughts of love and friendship died. The power was the only thing important to him anymore. Pure, righteous power to herald in a new age with himself as God. The memory sickened him now, and the agony in his chest never left.]

[Castiel silently speaks to Balthazar’s memory] Castiel: I always had you, but I never deserved you.

#suptober20 #spn fic #spn #castiel #balthazar #angst

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tisthenightofthewitch · 4 years

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THE NEXT CHAPTER: TOBIAS FORGE AND THE FUTURE OF GHOST

Their Kerrang! Award-winning fourth album Prequelle took Ghost from cult concern to global superstars. But the arena-filling congregation of fans is growing restless for clues as to what’s next for Cardinal Copia, Papa Nihil and the ministry. Let Tobias Forge, then, take you behind the mask and into the making of – and future plans for – a band like no other…

The WaMu Theater, Thursday 19 September. Last night this venue – attached to the side of CenturyLink Field, the home of the Seattle Seahawks NFL team – played host to the ‘Groover from Vancouver’ himself, Bryan Adams. Tomorrow it’s the turn of the Pacific Northwest city’s beloved sons, grunge legends Alice In Chains, for their last show in support of their sixth album, Rainier Fog. Tonight, though, Seattle gets the latest ritual on Ghost’s extensive Ultimate Tour Named Death.

Despite this morbid moniker, the scene inside the building is one of lively activity, with techs rushing around to finish the show’s elaborate staging. The house lights illuminate the stained glass window backdrop, while the seating, flat on the floor and sweeping upwards towards the back, furthers the illusion we’re in a vast church. Just then, Tobias Forge, the man whose job it is to address tonight’s 5,000-strong congregation appears. Kerrang! doesn’t notice him at first given the ninja-like silence of his approach, but there’s an intensity to his presence in these make-or-break moments of preparation.

“I’m interested in tour production, so I get to know a lot of these things,” he offers matter-of-factly. “I’m sure I only get to know about 40 per cent of it, but I notice if things aren’t in place.”

As a nine-year-old child, Tobias used to watch the documentary 25x5: The Continuing Adventures Of The Rolling Stones on repeat. The film charts the rock legends’ genesis in 1962 and their steep, heady ascent to becoming the biggest band in the world, circa their 1989 album Steel Wheels. Tobias considers their subsequent Bridges To Babylon Tour (1997-1998), which made more than $274 million and became the second-highest grosser of all time, to be the greatest ever piece of rock staging, and he was evidently taking notes even then. As a result of the level of professionalism he aspires to, you get the distinct impression he’s not a man who suffers fools gladly in this setting – an idea he doesn’t go to great pains to dispel.

“I want to know who’s in the shit today,” he explains. “Who has been put in the situation where his or her job is compromised, because I don’t want to start yelling if it’s a case of, ‘Oh my truck didn’t arrive in time today,’ because then I’ll know what the problem is. If you want to be a good boss, it’s very important you keep things on your radar.

“I’ve definitely got into trouble over the years by being too nice to people and giving them too much slack,” he continues, surveying the operation. “When you do that it’s like with dogs: if you don’t tell them what the rules are, they start making up their own. That sounds horrible, but there are 40 people on this tour, so there has to be a line and a curriculum. I’m adamant about getting my vision through, especially now we’re in this transitional phase between theatres and arenas.”

This increase in scale reflects the continued upswing in Ghost’s popularity, which has seen them go from misunderstood cult band to metal superstar status in the space of less than a decade. Despite this success, Tobias clearly isn’t taking anything for granted. Ghost haven’t played Seattle for three years, but this time around they’re doing two shows in Washington State, the other being the one they played at the Toyota Center in Kennewick two days ago, which has a capacity of 6,000 – almost eight per cent of the city’s 80,000 population.

Tobias may or may not be referring to that show when he discusses his unbridled joy at recently playing in an unnamed city that doesn’t get a lot of large-scale entertainment coming through town, save for appearances from KISS, singer-songwriter Pat Benatar and a touring production of the musical Wicked in recent years.

“None of us had ever heard of this place, and I’m pretty good at geography,” he explains. “But I loved being the singular moment somewhere, instead of the seventh show they’d had there on that particular week.”

And while Tobias describes the resulting night as “phenomenal”, earlier in the day there was an “unforeseen curveball” when the company who were meant to be selling merch at the show pulled out at the last minute, citing Ghost’s satanic image for their decision. This was, of course, a throwback to earlier shows, such as one in the Texan city of Odessa in 2018, when a minister attempted to dissuade people from attending because of the band’s threat to the morals of good God-fearing people. Unsurprisingly, this outburst resulted in an increase in ticket sales.

Despite this more recent – and, these days, more unusual – blip, Tobias’ desire to cover as much ground as possible on tour this time around is inspired by his heroes in Iron Maiden and Metallica, who have long provided him with the blueprints for achieving and navigating monumental success. In this case, the lesson he’s putting into practice is that every location Ghost visit, without exception, should be treated the same.

“The most important thing to me on this tour is that we bring the same production to everyone,” he says. “They all get the full-fucking-monty, whether they’re in Sioux Falls [South Dakota] or New York.”

The walls backstage at the WaMu Theater are lined with Seahawks jerseys, personalised with the names of acts that have performed here, including The 1975, Bastille and Nas, and the rockier contingent featuring twenty one pilots, Halestorm and Dropkick Murphys. Various rooms lead off from these labyrinthine corridors, providing sizeable production offices for the band’s tour management and crew, all of who wear dapper black shirts, trousers and braces affixed with silver broaches of Ghost’s upside down cross insignia. They affectionately address Cardinal Copia as ‘Cardi C’ when he appears later for a fan meet-and-greet. Here, too, are the dressing rooms for the headliners and the opening act for this tour, San Antonio rockers Nothing More.

On all of the doors is a distinct A4 page, the day sheet for this show, which not only details what’s happening, where and when, but also includes a different tongue-in-cheek quote for the occasion. Today, for example, in recognition of the touring party travelling overnight to Vancouver for tomorrow’s show at the city’s Pacific Coliseum, we get this gem courtesy of Britney Spears: ‘The cool thing about being famous is travelling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.’

Tobias, of course, has actually travelled over oceans to be here. Nowadays he lives in Stockholm, the capital of his native Sweden, with his wife and their 11-year-old twins, but he was born in Linköping, the country’s seventh largest city, where the steeple of its 13th century cathedral dominated the skyline. That’s not what the young Tobias was fixating on, though. Instead, aged five, when he already knew he wanted to transform into another person, he’d stand outside his childhood home and gaze down the street. The sun always seemed to be hovering between the buildings at the end, like a fixed but intangible hand beckoning him to get on a plane and go somewhere else and be someone else.

“The days and options seemed limitless,” he recalls today. “For some reason I always thought of the world as being there for the taking, even though I didn’t have any access to that world.”

In spite of this, he felt a deep affinity with his heroes, like the Rolling Stones and Queen, who also came from places you didn’t automatically associate with being breeding grounds for rock gods.

“I felt similar to them, even if they grew up in Dartford [Rolling Stones] or an island off the coast of Africa [Zanzibar, the birthplace of Freddie Mercury]. I, too, felt out of touch with my surroundings, and knew I had a higher calling.”

Twenty-three years later, in 2009, Tobias realised he hadn’t made much headway in heeding this call. He’d been in bands from a young age, from death metallers Repugnant to alt-rockers Magna Carta Cartel. The latter featured Martin Persner and Simon Söderberg, who’d later appear as Nameless Ghouls in the first incarnation of Ghost. Söderberg, along with some other ex-ghouls, is now embroiled in an on-going lawsuit with Tobias over what they suggest are the rightful shares of profits they’re owed from their time in the band. Tobias doesn’t volunteer any information on this topic today, which is perhaps understandable given the considerable column inches already dedicated to it.

Regardless, none of those early bands provided Tobias with the success he needed to, say, quit the day job. He had then been working in a call centre, aiding people having trouble with their mobile phones. Despite spending his childhood endlessly sketching elaborate stage designs and lighting rigs, he still has little interest in technology, particularly mobile phones. Back in 2009 his personal life was happy and satisfying, having welcomed children with his then-girlfriend – now wife – though this potent reminder of the finite time we have drew his attention to the area of his life he recognised as falling short.

“I had an epiphany,” he explains, raising his hands as if sizing up an imaginary canvas. “I found myself very far from the path, so decided in the limited time I have to invest everything in the one thing out of all my [professional] options I believed most in, which was Ghost. I understood wholeheartedly what it was, the music and the image, and felt I could do it without my vanity coming in, because I didn’t like how I looked in pictures or the sound of my own voice. But this would be fiction, so that was fucking cool. So I took all of my eggs and put them in one basket and was back on track. For the first time in my fucking life I was really focused.”

For evidence of the dividends this paid, you need only look at the fact that just a year later, with the release of their 2010 debut album Opus Eponymous, Ghost exploded on to the scene, taking the first step to becoming metal’s hottest new hope.

Further proof of this focus comes today from interviewing Tobias somewhere there’s a screen showing news channel CNN. We’re in the band’s pre-show warm-up space, which is decked out with guitars, keyboards and an electric drum kit he removes the stool from to sit in the centre of the room. He admits if he were in a hotel room now, he could easily watch CNN for 24 hours straight. He doesn’t so much as turn his head to look at it now, though, giving his full attention to the interview at hand.

Even at 38, an age he says his kids consider “as old as shit”, he remains remarkably boyish looking. His dark and piercing eyes, however, belong to an older soul – and it may be Kerrang!’s imagination – but they appear to moisten at several points during this hour-long chat, particularly when connecting the dots between his past ambition and what he’s achieved today.

“I’m trying to recreate a lot of things that aren’t necessarily real,” he says mysteriously. “In my head they’re real, and I’ve been given this fantastic carte blanche where I don’t have to sit in a fucking call centre anymore and am applauded for getting to be someone else. It’s perfect for someone like me who has a fundamental problem with functioning normally in society. If it wasn’t for the fact I was doing this, I would be completely useless.”

When Ghost signed with their American record label, their mythology wasn’t the deep well of fascination it is today. In fact, there was nothing to it at all. They had a unique aesthetic and a sound that didn’t necessarily go with that look, something that would wrong-foot new listeners in the early days, but Tobias didn’t have an answer to why Ghost were the way they were.

“They said the music was great but asked, ‘What’s the story? What’s the biography?’” recalls Tobias. “I said there was no biography because there was no story to tell. I wanted people to throw themselves into the vision and make up their own. But in the end I had to come up with one, which is second nature to me now. Even [Norwegian black metallers] Mayhem had a story. In the early ‘90s, before the internet, there was something that compelled us to want to find out more and listen to their music.”

This mythology Tobias has developed over the years was furthered with the release of Ghost’s fourth album, last year’s GRAMMY-nominated Prequelle, which introduced Tobias’ latest incarnation, Cardinal Copia, a character fans have come to love if the number of $40 plush toys sold at the merch desk tonight is any indication. More recently, a web series on YouTube has added to the intrigue, with the latest episode harking back to 1969, when a young Cardinal Nihil was fronting Ghost at the launch of their EP, Seven Inches Of Satanic Panic. That just so happens to be the band’s latest release in 2019, which will also be available as part of Prequelle Exalted, a limited collector’s edition of the album. Meanwhile, The Ultimate Tour Named Death has introduced the EP’s two new songs, Mary On A Cross and Kiss The Go-Goat, to its set list.

While Ghost’s music has always tipped its papal tiara to the ‘60s, particularly its psychedelic leanings, the latter song in particular sees them take this interest a step further. How much can we glean from them, then, with regards to where Ghost goes next? Not too much, as it turns out, according to Tobias, who suggests, as with the YouTube series, it’s a way to deepen the story of Ghost spanning from the ’40s to the present day, without necessarily providing clues to the sound of album number five.

“It’s just there for shits and giggles,” he laughs, before revealing that Kiss The Go-Goat, a song that’s been knocking around for some time, actually had the working title ‘The Throwback Single’. “I grew up listening to ‘60s music like the Rolling Stones and The Doors, as well as metal. People shouldn’t read too much into this direction, though. The next album is going to be something completely different from that.”

Can Tobias perhaps give two words to describe where, musically or thematically, album number five is heading?

“I’d choose the words ‘fifth’ and ‘album’,” he replies with a wry smile, before justifying what seems like a diversionary tactic. “I look at many fifth albums as a guide as to the urgency for what that record will need to be, with [Iron Maiden’s] Powerslave being a great example. By the fifth album you’re at a point in your career where you have this momentum built up, and you have the expectancy of people depending on you, so you have to put something special in those many spotlights. You need to step up and make a record that’s worth it and justifies all of these things.”

Who, then, can we expect to see fronting these rituals in future?

“I just know that person will have the name Papa Emeritus IV. It will be the fourth Papa Emeritus. But who that is, we don’t know yet.”

We’re not sure we believe him, so push for more. Might we see Cardinal Copia graduating to Papa status? The latest episode of the web series seems to indicate the ‘Sister Imperator’ character and Papa Nihil conceived a child. Wouldn’t that make him part of the papal bloodline?

“I think that what you will get over the next year are a lot of answers to a lot of questions,” offers Tobias, keeping things vague.

Like the question of whether Sister is pregnant? (In the latest ‘chapter’ of the web series, Sister attacks a woman at a Ghost show for smoking next to her).

“We don’t know that yet. It would blow my mind if she was now,” he says, clearly referring to the elderly Sister in the present day. This suggests she could well be with child back in 1969, though.

Has Tobias sketched what this new Papa will look like?

“Have you ever seen The Big Lebowski?” he asks by way of an answer, referencing the scene in the Coen brothers’ classic where Jeff Bridges’ character, The Dude, spots someone drawing on a notepad. When the man leaves the room with the piece of paper, The Dude rushes to scribble on to the page below to reveal the outline of what’s been drawn, only to discover it’s a doodle of a cock and balls. “It’s something along those lines.”

Sensing Tobias is in full evasion mode by this point, we change tack. Perhaps understanding his ambitions, and whether there’s a summit to them, can shed some light on the future – especially as he seems more focused on what Ghost’s next album will do rather than what it will sound like.

“I wouldn’t necessarily compare [my ambitions] to what the Rolling Stones have done, because that was a completely different time under completely different circumstances. For the last 40 years they have sold tickets because of nostalgic reasons, and maybe 40 years in the future there would be a nostalgia element for Ghost, but I can’t count on that.”

“I regard Metallica as colleagues and friends now, but they’re still Metallica,” he says of the thrash legends Ghost supported on their European stadium tour this summer. “I am an ambassador and they are presidents. But when I look to Metallica for influence, I’m looking at what they did in 1988. We’re on our fourth album, as they were on the Damaged Justice Tour, so the next stop is the Black Album.”

Spotting Kerrang!’s obvious joy at this admission, Tobias is quick to clarify exactly what he means by this.

“You have to make a responsible record,” he adds emphatically. “That doesn’t mean to expect riffs. It’s two different things – what the record sounds like and knowing to put yourself in the right spot at the right time. When I had nothing, and lived in a small apartment that cost very little because the ceiling leaked, the dream was to be able to live off making music. When I had kids that became even more important. Now it’s about something else. I’m responsible for showing my wife and my kids that all these years of waiting for me have been worth it. And that goes beyond money, because at the end of the day that’s just seasoning. One day my kids will be grown-up and I have to be able to show them that all this time playing rock shows had a real purpose.”

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Tobias loves touring.

“I’m like a sailor,” he says. “I just love being on the ocean. I’ve not always been on tour, but I’ve always been a transient person. And the road to achieving all this is endless, just like the road I looked down when I was five seemed to me at the time.”

Kerrang

#Tobias Forge #Tobias Interview #The Band Ghost #Ghost Band #Cardinal Copia

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aroworlds · 4 years

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When Quiver Meets Quill, Part One

Alida Quill is just fine spending hir holidays alone with a book if it means freedom from hir family's continued expectation to court and wed. When hir co-worker Ede sets hir up with a friend and won't take no for an answer, Alida plots an extravagant, public refusal scene to show everyone once and for all that ze will not date. Ever.

Ze doesn't expect to meet Antonius Quiver, a man with his own abrupt, startling declarations on the subject of romance.

It isn't courting if he schemes with hir to pay back Ede ... is it?

Contains: One autistic, aromantic organiser extraordinaire armed with coloured ink; one autistic, aromantic officer a little too prone to interrupting; and an allistic friend in want of better ways to go about introductions.

Content Advisory: Aromantic characters pressed into dating along with casual references to general amatonormativity and ableism.

Length: 2, 261 words (part one of two).

Note: Posted for @aggressivelyarospec‘s AggressivelyArospectacular 2019.

I don’t date, court, woo or pay suit to anyone.

“Do you ever do anything but work, write and read?” Ede Thimble leans across the counter and stares at Alida with intent brown eyes, ignoring the crate of straw-packed ink bottles at her feet. Ten minutes ago, she offered to shelve them. “You come here, you spend the day looking things up and writing things down, and then you go home and do the same!” She sighs before waving her arms and the trailing sleeves of her dress with extravagant enthusiasm. “Yesterday was a holiday! You could have spent it dancing, drinking or gaming! Anything involving another person!”

Alida Quill sets down hir pencil, working to hold back a frown. Hir family owns the business—the name Quill is a byword in Elsten for fine stationery—but as the youngest of the three Quill siblings, hir thoughts on matters of hiring go ignored.

Did Jan select Ede because her inquisitiveness gets under Alida’s skin?

“I didn’t just read. I went to morning service, I baked...”

Spiced apple cakes, the sultanas conveniently “forgotten”. After which ze curled up by the fire, book in hand, and spent a glorious, undisturbed afternoon flipping through a collection of fairy tales for hir catalogue of stories that don’t end in marriage. Hir siblings and their wives patronised dance halls and gaming houses, granting Alida a rare half day with nobody to annoy hir about avoiding friends and family.

“Temple!” Ede rolls her eyes and leans against the glass counter, putting fingerprints over a surface Alida just finished polishing. “You’re not even pious! Do you go anywhere not home, here or services—”

The door opens, admitting a blast of chill air and a pair of damp student mages in brown robes, and Alida grits hir teeth at the thud as the taller lets it slam closed. Both carry empty string bags and a folded piece of cream paper—good cotton rag watermarked with the Academy’s crossed-wand seal. Why the Academy wastes expensive paper on yearly materials lists, ze’ll never know.

Ede straightens and gifts the students her warmest smile. “Good morning, sirs! I see you’re looking to get ahead of the winter’s commencement class. Smart! Can I first tempt you with our newest brushes, or would you prefer me to work through your lists?”

Alida permits hirself a sigh of relief and returns to inventorying the shelf of journals and ledgers.

Ze considers Ede no small trial, between her questions and a lackadaisical attitude to cleanliness. Yet Ede’s ability to charm and flatter, a gift Alida doesn’t wish to possess, frees hir to manage stock orders, shelving and the accounts book. Ze answers questions and handles sales when needed, but Alida prefers to leave the art of convincing customers to Ede and Jette. As if either will think to dust the shelf or turn the bottles labels-outwards when displaying!

By the time Ede sends the students back out into the weather, bulging parcels wrapped in spelled wood-pulp paper, Alida stands on a stool behind the counter, positioning the last of the new inks. Ze doesn’t know how to answer people asking, for the umpteenth time, about hir prospects; ze always knows how many nibs, pens and brushes are contained within the store’s array of redwood drawers and shelves. Hir hands give the glass counters their sparkle, the wood its gleaming richness, the leather chairs by the window their waxy softness and scent. Ze laid the fire warming the shop against the cold outside. What’s wrong with finding contentment in hir work? Why isn’t this a worthy life, hir days spent in labour enough for bed, food, clothing and a reasonable number of books?

Alida wonders, not for the first time, if ze should have tried to pretend belief and gender enough to join the Sisterhood.

“Rain!” Ede declares in the smug tones of a woman who charged an extra ten cents for the protective paper. That fewer people dare the streets in a worsening squall doesn’t diminish her joy; she claps her hands, swathes of blue wool and white lace shrouding her fingers. “I love when I can make rich mages pay for something extra!”

Alida takes up hir duster, steps down off the stool, doesn’t fall when hir toes catch the hem of hir skirt and moves to hir nook by the counter. Hir small desk, hidden from customers by a display case of envelopes, holds a ledger, a brass cup of pencils, a wad of cat fur and a tin of wax polish above a drawer that doesn’t quite close. Spell more wrapping paper sheets, ze writes at the bottom of the day’s list, nodding at Ede so she doesn’t think herself ignored. “Not all the students are rich. The Academy is expensive, but that doesn’t mean some people don’t save up. Or that those people can afford to replace a soaked journal.”

Hir parents sent hir, back when the family thought Alida to make something grander of hir life through magic.

“They’re richer than me.” Ede sighs again; Alida represses the urge to mention that Jette pays Ede wage enough to support her mother and fund a penchant for lace. “I tell you what—I’ve got a friend who makes those annoying corrections, and I can’t get his nose out of the newspaper, either. I bet you two’d get on like anything. Instead of temple and reading, how about I introduce you next Endday lunch?”

Alida twists the folds of hir skirt through hir white fingers, watching the wind hurl rain against the front windowpane. Didn’t Ede understand Alida the first time ze explained this? “I don’t date, court, woo or pay suit to anyone.”

“You’re just like Antonius, Alida. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before now!” Ede opens her mouth as the door admits a regular gentlewoman in a long coat, a sopping newspaper held above her head in a vain attempt to protect her dyed suede. “Good morning, good sir! Such dreadful weather out, and so early in the season! Should I help you now, or would you like to first stand before the fireplace a minute?”

Wet newspaper, coat and boots, along with the door the customer struggles to close, create puddles enough that Alida darts into the stockroom for a mop and bucket.

Please, ze prays as ze works the mop over the floorboards, let Ede forget this plan as easily as she forgot about the crate of ink bottles.

***

“You need to meet Antonius,” Ede says the next morning, entering the shop without a greeting or by-your-leave while Alida places two small logs above the flaming kindling in the fireplace. “My cousin brought him around last night, and I swear he said five words—and most of those were contradictions! Things he read about!”

Alida takes the poker and shifts one of the logs to get more air underneath, biting hir lip. If this Antonius discussed books or articles, he likely said more than five words.

“See? You’d get on like ducks on a pond!” Ede bustles towards the fire, peeling her gloves off her hands and tucking them into her belt before unbuttoning her cloak and hanging it on the hook beside Alida’s. “Like priestesses in the vestiary!”

“Like priestesses in a room for storing clothes?” Alida asks, returning the poker to the rack beside the grate. Is this an absurd double-entendre? If so, why the vestiary? Surely there’s better places for those goings-on than the religious equivalent of a cloakroom? “And what did I say to make you think that?”

“You had that look where you’re bursting to correct me.” Ede sighs and turns to warm her back, hiking up her skirts and inching as close to the fire as is safe. “You think I don’t know that look? Alida, you must meet Antonius. He’s perfect for you.”

Ze glances around the shop in search of distraction. The counter gleams, the table with scrap for testing pens sits cleared of yesterday’s samples and the shop cat, Miep, lies asleep on the armchair closest to the fire. The floor doesn’t look dirty, but Alida will sweep while Ede double-checks the paper inventory. That should redirect her from this horrible conversation.

“I don’t date, court, woo—”

“I know! Please, Alida, please. Just once.” Ede crooks her head, fluttering her long eyelashes. She’s pretty in an artistic, skilful way, never in want of admirers: this morning she pinned her myriad black braids into labyrinthine coils and knots adorned with white lace and ribbon. “You need to talk to people! Do something on a holiday that isn’t a book!”

Alida shaves hir brown hair to avoid prolonged morning ablutions. Ze’s always wondered, but never dared ask, how early Ede rises to groom, dress, eat and walk the ten blocks along the Wine Canal.

“You’re people!” Alida jerks hir hands in frustration. “This is talking!”

“Talking talking. Talking because you want to, because it’s fun, not because we’re stuck in a shop together six days a week. Please.” Ede drops her skirts, setting thick layers of wool and cotton to rustling, and turns to face Alida, her narrow hands outstretched. The fire gifts the underside of her dark fingers, protruding from their wreaths of lace, a rich, reddish shine. “Antonius needs someone, and you need someone. You’d get on so perfectly if you wet blankets dried out enough to try!”

“I don’t—”

“Think about it. Please!” Ede whirls away from the fire and heads to the counter, perhaps surmising that she’s pushed Alida past general annoyance into I-can’t-bear-to-look-at-you anger. “Do you want me to wipe the counters?”

Alida, fighting to calm hir voice, darts into the stockroom for the broom. “No. I need you to double-check my counts on the paper inventory. All of them.”

Even Ede’s strangled curse isn’t enough to make Alida feel pleasure in revenge—not after the stabbing betrayal of one more person failing to understand hir.

***

Over the next three days, Ede finds a wealth of excuses to mention her cousin’s cousin. He was top in penmanship at school, is an amateur historian, and once rescued a drowning kitten. Alida has to admit, past Ede’s tendency to deliver criticism as an enticement, that Antonius sounds more interesting than most. Similarity holds no meaning, however, when one partner wants what the other can’t offer. If Ede can’t accept Alida, how will anyone else?

“Please, Alida!” Ede leans over the desk, buttoning her green cloak. “Just talk with him! Just once!”

Alida, counting out the cashbox and checking the total against the day’s purchases while Miep rubs his grey cheek against hir boot, looks up, tired. If ze agrees, Ede will have learnt that she can badger Alida into anything with enough time and repetition. Just the thought makes hir shudder, given Alida’s struggle to correct that error with hir siblings.

“If you don’t like him or never want to see him again, I won’t say a word. Not one. Just once. Endday lunch. By the time we walk there and back, it won’t even be an hour!”

“Ede—”

Ede looks right at Alida, her brow furrowed, her hands fisted and raised to her chin in a gesture resembling praying or begging. “Meet him once and I’ll never ask anything of you again. And I’ll come early and shovel the ash from the fireplace for the next week.”

Miep yowls, looking up at Alida. Every evening, ze checks the books, counts out the money and feeds the cat, in that order. Never has their routine stopped Miep from demanding that Alida disregard human tasks in favour of his fish or mince.

“You’re supposed to also catch mice,” ze mutters. A cat’s badgering bears no unexpected consequences. Alida need not struggle to realise what will happen if ze feeds Miep when he requests. Acquiescing to Ede, though? Meeting someone Alida doesn’t know and can’t predict?

In the shop, strangers rarely deviate from standard forms of communication and intent. They ask questions about stock, prices, quality, delivery. At temple, services provide memorisable, rote shapes of interaction. Outside those worlds, where people new to hir can and do say anything? Ede, Jan and Jette desire the unexpected; Alida doesn’t understand why.

“Alida!” Ede waves her hand in front of Alida’s face. “Don’t just ignore me!”

Can ze agree in a way that means Ede won’t again harass hir? A public refusal, perhaps? A bold, dramatic declaration of Alida’s unwillingness to engage in romance, in front of Ede and this Antonius? One announced in such a way that embarrassment will keep Ede from thinking Alida suitable for anyone? Word will come back to hir siblings, but they already think Alida prone to shameful outbursts. Why not?

Alida writes down hir last total, releases a sigh of relief at the matching numbers and carefully returns the stacks of coins to the box. “Never ask anything of me again and shovel the ash for a fortnight.”

Miep meows as the lid clicks shut, butting his head against Alida’s skirts.

Ede bounces upright in a cascade of fabric, her sleeves flapping underneath her cloak. “Done! By blood and name and craft! Oh—please wear your blue, white and red skirt tomorrow! And your red coat with the long tails and brass buttons! And your good cloak with the satin lining, because the hood looks so pretty with your eyes, and...”

Alida will feed the cat and lock the shop behind Ede, but before ze goes go home, ze has some planning to do.

And a few signs to make in coloured inks.

#aggressivelyarospectacular #aromantic #aro writing #arospec creations #actuallyautistic #fiction #original fiction #original fiction and prose #fantasy #aromantic and autistic #autism #amatonormativity #romance mention #ableism #k. a. cook #long post #very long post #extremely long post

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.3

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Summary: Story picks up during season three as the group goes into Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie from the Governor. However, they pick up another prisoner of Woodbury, Emma (O/C). She is a thief who fears friendships after her hard losses. She stays on the move, studying communities from afar and then robbing them blind. She has stayed alive this way for a while until the Governor catches her in the act. Now she finds herself with the group from the prison in a mission to kill the Governor for what he has done to her. She plans on stealing supplies from the prison group after the Governor is killed, but she might be growing a little too close to the groups members, especially one man in particular: Daryl Dixon.

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: Things are finally getting good in this chapter if I do say so myself. I hope you all like it! I get sick of the female interest always seeming weak and like they need a protector all the time so I am trying to make a badass character here but like not too bitchy and annoying. It’s a fine line and I struggle sometimes but like oh well. Enjoy!

Previously: Ch.1 Ch.2

Merle Dixon was running his mouth like usual. Spit flung from his mouth as he yelled at Maggie about coming back to the prison with us all. Glenn and Maggie obviously did not want him around them or their family after what he did to them. I didn't blame them a bit. He had done some cruel things to me too, but I never held it against him too much, nothing compared to what the Governor did.

"Well I'll be damned," Merle said, ignoring Maggie and letting his sights land on me from over Rick's shoulder. "You're alive."

I clenched my jaw and prepared for the usual taunting that was always present in conversation with Merle. I stumbled forward to get a better look at him, my legs gaining strength with every step. "Don't sound so disappointed," I snarled at him.

I noticed Daryl shift on his feet and groan at Merle in warning. Daryl wanted his brother to be able to come back to the prison with us, but by the looks of it that wasn't going to work out. And Daryl knew that messing with me right now wasn't going to help his case. I was a high strung pissed off motherfucker after getting my ass kicked by the Governor all to save a couple of Dixons. No one should've been messing with me right now.

"You let her in the group and we are still questioning me?" Merle looked at Rick and threw his hands in my direction. "That right there is some fucked up bullshit."

"We were bringing her because she knew Woodbury," Daryl supplied, trying his best to keep Merle at bay, with no luck.

"She got us to you two. She's proving to be helpful," Rick supported, but I noted that he still looked skeptical of me.

Merle whistled and huffed out a strangled laugh that came from deep in his throat. "That's one poisonous snake you let into your nest, Sheriff." Merle smirked as he looked me up and down. I guess it had been a while since he got to do that and he was taking his time with soaking me in.

"You even know her that well, Merle?" Daryl glanced at me a few times, looking somewhat uneasy since he himself didn't really know me.

"Governor made me look after her."

My eyes widened at his words. "Look after me? He made you beat the shit out of me," I said, pushing by Rick so I was face to face with Merle. That was probably a bad move judging by Merle's playful smile. I shook against the urge to slap it right off of his fucking face.

"All that was just business. Trust me, I've done worse, sweetheart." He leaned back against a tree and rolled his eyes at my unhappy demeanor.

"Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there."

Merle snickered, pleased with the reactions he was getting from me.

"You're a coward," I breathed out.

"Maybe. But it all worked out in the end. Found my brother."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. The blood pounded in my ears. "The Governor found him. You didn't find shit. I knew you would never go look for him on your own. You were too happy with the Governor in his perfect little shit-hole to risk looking for him." I pointed my finger at Daryl and kept my eyes on Merle's snarl. "If you had cared about him you would've gone to look for him long before the Governor tossed you together in an arena. He just turned you into a monster too," I yelled out, my voice raising with every word.

"I did what I had to do!" He pushed away from the tree and shouted in my face. His breath snaked its way into my nostrils, making me grimace.

"This is a bunch of bullshit," Daryl stepped in between us, trying to get us to stand down. "Me and my brother are none of your God damn business."

"Then why did he feel the need to tell me all about you two?" He looked a little startled at that. "Tell me, Daryl, how many times has Merle abandoned you before? Huh?"

Daryl was smoldering down at me. He knew Merle must have told me about all the times he left his brother alone back before the world went to shit. I figured Merle told me just about everything about the two of them. His look was dangerous as he tried to shut me up with his squinted glare. His breath blew back the loose strands of hair that hung in my face. I felt my cheeks flush, but I didn't waver from his look until Merle opened his fucking mouth again.

"And where the hell is your brother?" Merle shouted from behind Daryl. He knew what he was doing by saying this. I told him about my younger sibling back when he was pitying himself over his own. My brother was a touchy subject and Merle knew that.

Everyone around us must've sensed the mistake Merle made and the tension that was being added to the area by the second. Glenn and Maggie had stopped putting in their two cents over top of our yelling and for a brief time everyone was silent.

Daryl noticed my fists clench at my sides and my twitch forward towards Merle to knock his lights out. He was too fast to let me by him, though. He immediately squared his shoulders around to block me from Merle completely. Rick had moved to Merle's side in a second to keep him under control if need be. Everyone else stood at attention, waiting for the calm before the storm to end.

"Take it back," I warned Merle through clenched teeth.

Merle laughed harshly from behind Daryl's shoulder before saying, "Or else what? What are you gonna do to me? Huh? You gonna leave me for dead just like you left your little bro?"

My vision was nothing but a sheet of red. My blood boiled over with the rage I felt, something that I thought the Governor had beat out of me. But my spirit and temper were there still, like they had never left.

I wanted nothing more than to rip Merle apart for using something like this against me. I lunged upward and towards Merle in an attempt to reach him from over Daryl. It was a lame attempt I realized after I was caught around the waist by his muscular arm. It's a shame I didn't even get to put a scratch on Merle before he started hauling me away.

The others exploded into chaos that was set off by my lash out. Maggie had her gun out and was shouting at us to keep it down. Michonne stood by with her sword out, the only silent member of the party, and Rick was yelling as he helped Glenn push back Merle who was shouting at me and taking slow forceful steps in my direction, which only made me go even crazier.

Daryl held me off the ground still as I continued to thrash around in his hold in a hopeless effort to get free. "Calm the fuck down," Daryl growled at me over the other shouts and tossed me roughly on my ass.

I ignored the pain that shot through my already damaged body as I hit the dirt hard. But I shot straight back up on my feet, getting right in his face, even though he looked down at me in an intimidating way. "He doesn't give a fuck about you, you know." I used one hand to shove his chest, which didn't affect him at all, while I was trying to ignore Merle's continuous cursing. "He was comfortable in a position at Woodbury where he was living the fucking life. He knew what kind of man the Governor was and yet he listened to everything he was told to do. Merle killed innocent people for that man instead of going out to be with his sibling. Would you have done that?"

"Why don't you shut the hell up?" His voice roared over me in a raspy yell.

My vision blurred with my anger and the beginning of tears that I prayed wouldn't come. "I would've gone to the ends of the earth to find family. But your shitty brother didn't even care enough to look for you for more than a day when you got separated. He found a better offer at Woodbury and his loyalty to the Governor became more important than you."

"You couldn't save your brother, sweetheart!" Merle called out from where Glenn and Rick still restrained him, but my eyes didn't waver from Daryl's cold blue ones. His eyes bore into mine and I could feel the heat from his body washing over me in a wave of frustration. "I saved my little brother. You can't say the same for yours," Merle continued on like this for a while. His continuing taunts only riled me up more, but still I stayed silent. Only the deep breathing of Daryl echoed in my ears as we both tried not to attack each other, the tension in the small space that was between us was holding still.

Merle ruthlessly yelled about my brother and his death over and over again. My heart sunk with each beat. He was right about me. I was not able to save my brother. I couldn't protect him when he needed me. The Walkers took him right from my hands...

I felt like I was at a breaking point when Daryl finally broke his eyes from mine and spun around on Merle. I was shocked beyond belief when he started to yell at him instead of me. "Merle, shut the fuck up! Stop being an asshole for two seconds. You know you haven't any room to judge someone for failing their sibling."

Something dark passed in Merle's eyes. "You think I've failed you? You defending her now, little brother?"

"I ain't defending nobody. I'm trying to vouch for you to stay with us and you're making it real fucking hard."

"Everyone calm down! Now!" Rick glowered at us all and his simple command put a stop to the upheaval.

"He's not coming with us," Glenn insisted more calmly this time, thankfully bringing the argument back around to Merle's fate and no longer on my brother.

I rocked back on my heels, catching my breath after my screaming match with the eldest Dixon. My heart still hammered in my chest as I looked over at Daryl who was taking small strides back and forth, his accusing stare on Merle.

"You let the samari go but not me?" Merle pointed out, motioning to Michonne, who held herself higher and pointed her sword out at him.

I watched Rick yanked the sword from her hands for the second time as they exchanged vicious looks. "She is not in a state to be on her own. We patch her up then she is gone," Rick finalized. His gaze was cold. "She," he said pointing at me, "will be here until we don't need her to fight the Governor anymore."

Merle rolled his eyes. "I know more than that bitch can tell you. I've got the training to fight too."

"Why don't ya shut up?" Daryl yelled in Merle's face again.

This time Merle squared around towards Daryl, ready to put his younger brother in his place. "Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you –"

He was cut off by the crack of Rick's gun against his head, knocking him out cold.

Everyone looked down at Merle's limp body in silence. I wasn't going to be the one to say it, but thank-fucking-God Rick shut him up.

Daryl took a few more dangerous heavy breaths as he looked from Rick to Merle again and again. I could tell he wanted to side with his brother, but he was grateful for Rick's timing too.

After everyone had calmed down the group migrated towards the road. Rick, Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn stood off to the side to discuss what was to be done with Merle. Michonne and I were left to stand by the car while Merle was gaining conscience back in the woods still.

I watched the group as they discussed Merle. I only picked up a few things here and there. "Look, the Governor is probably on the way to the prison right now," Daryl said, holding the strap of his crossbow across his shoulder. "Merle knows how he thinks, and we could use the muscle."

Rick must have told him how I knew the Governor well enough too because Daryl glared at me, but I pretended not to notice. I might not have been the Governor's go to guy like Merle, but I saw enough of him. Not to mention everything I had learned about Woodbury prior to my capture. I had the place mentally mapped out with the faces of every resident memorized.

Michonne grunted as she leaned up against the side of the car. The deep gash in her leg was looking worse by the minute, not to mention her other bruises and sores. I knew she went after the Governor back during the rescue mission for Maggie and Glenn. When I first saw her I knew she had a thirst for the Governor's blood, just like me.

"You look like shit," I observed aloud, hoping to stir her up.

She took her time studying me before she answered. "You should see the other guy," she responded with a slight hint of a smile playing at her lips.

I let out a small laugh, something I never thought I would've been able to do again. I sat back on the hood of the car and angled my head towards her. "I think I did see the other guy." I remembered the Governor in the arena waiting for Merle to kill Daryl. The Governor had an eyepatch on that was definitely not there the last time I saw him. "You take his eye out?" I asked for confirmation.

Her face was back to its normal vacant look. "Yeah," she answered, staring at the group still deep in discussion.

I watched them too, infuriatingly unable to make out anything important in their conversation. "Good. That son of a bitch needed a good ass-whooping."

I felt her gaze fall back onto me, but I didn't return it this time. Rick was following Daryl back towards the car.

"We'll fend for ourselves," Daryl yelled back over his shoulder at the others that trailed after him. "It was always Merle and I before this."

Rick put a hand on Daryl's shoulder to stop him momentarily. "You don't have to do this."

Daryl shook his head. "Don't ask me to leave him. I already did that once."

I had heard that story from Merle enough. He always told me how his brother left with the group of people that had abandoned him. Left him chained to the roof in the middle of the city, he always said. Daryl had ditched him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, watching Daryl pack up a bag to take with him. I felt a twinge of sadness to see him go, even if he did hate my guts. I tried my best to forget the look he gave me when he first found me in Woodbury. There was something about him that intrigued me. When he looked at me I felt like he was reading every thought in my mind. Sure he was a Dixon, but still, my heart sank to see the man who understood me go away. It sank even more when I watched him leave with his snarling asshole of an older brother, arm in arm with each other.

Tags:

@daryldixonandfrogs

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soundofvesper · 5 years

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Capsized

GOT EP4: my two cents

To begin with, Braime Stans, can you all. Just. Calm. The f*ck down?!

Your talk is so whiny I can’t even.

Yes the writers messed up big time with everyone on that episode, and I do mean everyone, except perhaps Bran and Sandor Clegane, for obvious reasons.

Seven seasons worth of character arc and redemption development and — what?? You actually believe he abandons the purest love he never thought he’d find for the ex “love of his life” now that she’s winning?

Please use your common sense. Valonqar or not, well-meaning!Kingslayer Jaime has never been one to act rashly, especially when it comes to his own family or heart.

The Mother of Dragons literally has nothing to face Cersei with, how is she going to win up against Euron Greyjoy’s fleet and the army she’s bought herself??

Unless. He slinks back into King’s Landing, disguised as the besotted twin brother which he knows to do so well (give the man an Oscar! An Emmy! Something!), SO THAT HE CAN GET CLOSE TO CERSEI AND JUST END IT.

I’ve been reading *essays* about each tiny scrutinised glance between Jaime and Brienne for years, now you’re all abandoning ship and spewing hate? You have to be better than this!

Fight me on this, I’m ready, he didn’t leave Brienne to run back to Cersei’s unwelcoming!open legs (pardon the crudeness), he’s trying to keep the person he loves most safe. And that’s the tea, drink it or choke on it, as you will.

***

Jon

Can we all just take a moment and appreciate his character arc before we start criticising?? From unwanted bastard who doesn’t fit in and wants desperately to do so, to young man off on an adventure away from the only family he’s ever known just so he could be away from all the things he knew he’d never have. Gave his life to the cause. Was brought back regardless of whether he meant to live again and never once complained, just got on with the job of trying to save everyone’s asses. Won everyone’s respect, and I DO MEAN EVERYONE. Even Cersei B*tch Queen of the Iron Throne Lannister knew he’s as solid and honourable as they come. His side, thanks to his efforts, dragons and dagger aside, EFFECTIVELY WON THE WINTER WAR. All the people who swore they’d never be in the same room without killing each other? They were all there supporting HIM. Do you have any idea HOW POWERFUL that is? Has anyone ever seen Jon wield power because he wants it? No. Can we all agree he does it beautifully regardless? No really, say “no” go on, make my day. Does he deserve to be on the Iron Throne? From a simplistic point of view, yeah, him being THE ACTUAL HEIR and all; but does anyone truly believe he’d be suited to that life, when really all he’s ever known is fighting? And I don’t just mean fighting for the Night’s Watch and for Winterfell. And still, people just naturally flock to him, because they know a good man when they see one. And despite all this, he truly believes (albeit naively) that everyone can carry on as they were, knowing the truth, and he can still have that peaceful existence with the love of his life by his side. Everybody is hating on him because he, what? Didn’t pet Ghost after making the best decision for him??? Are you all seriously that childish?? I’d die before I let anything happen to my dog, and Jon has gotten really good at saying goodbye to the things he loves most (see above). Take my advice and move past that moment. Not patting Ghost on the head doesn’t mean he discarded him without a second thought, or that he doesn’t love him. Will he be given a dark ending? That remains to be seen. I believe in him, in plain Jon Snow and in Aegon Targaryen. I hope they give him the life he’s always wanted, and not the heaviest burden of all; wearing the crown of the Protector of the Realm.

***

Dany

A LOT of people have been fighting over her increasingly, and it just makes me shake my head, because yes she’s being portrayed all wrong. But can we just take a moment and analyse the following:

Yes she was a good little girl who only felt it was her burden to liberate all people and take her throne back because she’s always wanted to go home, home to a place she’s never known and has only ever heard stories and songs about. After seven seasons of betrayals, attempts on her life, of being sold into marriage!slavery and losing it all only to get back up and tell the world “no, THIS is who I am”, do you honestly believe she knows how to be anything else? When have we ever seen her be merciful without annihilation first? Does she ever, ever, talk about defending the North in terms other than “Jon’s War”? And this is a woman who feels entitled to become the one true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, the North included. All xenophobia aside (and this is the writers’ work, not necessarily the original story — haven’t read the books, correct me if I’m wrong), she’s done nothing but storm in waving her dragons around - pardon, her “CHILDREN” - and demanded that everyone automatically fall over themselves to accept her. The minute she sees how effortlessly people flock to RealKing!/LoveOfHerLife!Jon, she gets ugly. Were you watching her face when Tormund was talking our ears off about his little crow, and how proud he was, dropping the k- word and all? Her face was the UGLIEST thing I’ve ever seen on her in all the seasons. Like, really, is that all she is? Just an empowered woman who’s become a tyrant and needs the love of her life to stay under her boot heel to remain empowered? Apparently, that’s what the writers are going for. Daughter of a mad king? Yeah, she is. Should she go ahead and incinerate half the kingdom in order to sit on smouldering ashes? If that’s what her character development has reduced her to, then I say let her have it. I’m still hoping she’ll realise before it’s too late, and actually take the chance to be happy (though doubtful at this stage.) I believed in her, right up until the moment she set foot on Westeros and started proving us all wrong, and he really isn’t different from the others “she’s just more of the same.” She’s made it clear that love is only second best for her, whereas for Jon it’s everything without abandoning honour, so it’s going to get REAL INTERESTING REAL QUICK, the power play for the future of the Kingdom.

***

Arya

Just this: I can’t believe y’all would actually take her out of character and have her accept Gendry’s proposal for a life she’s NEVER wanted, even before her father died. Have we been watching two different shows or something? She still needs to kill Cersei, and has hinted that life for her will not be at Winterfell, because after all, what is there for her there? A brother she doesn’t truly recognise and still nearly gladly died defending, a sister she’s learned to respect but who doesn’t need assassins roaming around to protect her, a title she’s never wanted, and the beloved one who actually turns out to be her cousin and real heir to the throne. Can we see how this life is not hers? Regardless of whether Gendry can make her happy, she stayed true and that’s beautiful, ok?

THE ENDING: I just hope they do all characters right at this stage (Avengers, anyone?) regardless of who gets to sit on that bloody chair, and everyone gets what they DESERVE even if it’s not what they (or we) want.

#game of thrones #got #got spoilers #gots8 #jaime/brienne #jaime x brienne #brienne of tarth #daenerys targaryen #dracarys #cersei lannister #arya stark #arya x gendry #jon snow #jonerys

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tracies-tales · 6 years

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oh my gosh, if no one has requested it already, can you do #60 "sing to me" with egobang?? I love your writing so much and holy FUCK if that isn't the perfect prompt for them I don't know what is,,, and I know you'll make it even more perfect ❤

well dang i’ll certainly try to!! no one has requested it unless the tumblr staff are eating my asks, so thank you for the prompt!! buckle up kids:

Dan whistled to himself as he approached the door of the Grump House; he’d been overwhelmed with the positive response to his newest drop, “Danny Don’t You Know,” and it had left him in a giddy mood since watching the number of hits climb so quickly throughout the course of only the first day.

He was smiling broadly as he entered the house, as always bringing a ray of sunshine into the building with him wherever he went. He’d already seen Arin’s car in the drive, so he knew Arin himself was present somewhere within. “Aaarin?” he called. There was no immediate response, so Dan tried again, “Awin, come on out you siwwy goose! We can’t do a show if you’ve been kidnapped for ransom.”

Dan quieted down to listen, still not hearing a reply. His face scrunched up in curiosity, knitting his brows together as he wondered if Arin had headphones on or maybe had a late night and was napping at nine in the morning. He shrugged it off and assumed Arin was too wrapped up in something or another.

The whistling started up again as Dan twirled his car keys on his finger, hanging them on a hook and skipping into the kitchen. He grabbed a bag of Skittles from the top shelf, which only he and Arin could easily reach, before he glided down the hall to descend into the basement.

As Dan munched on the Skittles with gleeful abandon, he came to a halt at the bottom of the stairwell when he thought he heard the groan of an office chair. “Arin?” Dan said, mouth still full of candy.

Dan frowned as he heard a distinct sniffle, followed by Arin saying, “Oh, hey Danny,” with a hoarse voice.

The response had come from the editing room, and if Dan wasn’t mistaken, Arin had been crying or was currently extremely ill. Either way, Dan jogged down the hall to the proper door and slowly pushed it open, noting the lights were all off save for the glow of the computer screen. He didn’t miss the fact that Arin had just closed a window so that Dan couldn’t see whatever it had been. Now that they were in the same room, it was painfully clear which of Dan’s two guesses had been right.

Tissues littered the desk and surrounded the trash can from failed attempts at tossing them out. Arin’s eyes were rimmed with redness, and he hastily tried to wipe a tear off his cheek.

“Jesus, man,” Dan’s own mood plummeted at seeing Arin so distraught, “what happened?”

“It’s stupid, dude, don’t worry about it,” Arin rubbed at his eye.

“Oh fuck no, I will worry about it,” Dan retorted, moving to rub Arin’s back soothingly.

“It’s dumb,” Arin repeated, avoiding eye contact. “I’ll get over it in like…thirty minutes,” he tried to force a chuckle, which turned into a gross, gooey cough.

Dan made a disgusted face at the sound but said, “Well I can get you over it in like…twenty nine, if you let me.”

Arin managed a real chuckle at that, “As always, you are infinitely helpful, Daniel.”

“I know I am,” Dan chirped, straightening and practically glowing with pride. “Now come on, let’s move to the couch and you can let me in on your secrets,” he bopped Arin’s nose with a finger.

Arin snorted just before his expression fell again. He stood and picked up a new tissue to blow his nose in, grunting a, “Blegh,” at his own mucus before they moved to their recording studio. When they’d both plopped onto the couch, Arin said, “So, like…it isn’t even about me, first of all.”

Dan raised a brow, “What, did you watch a video of a kitten making those mewing sounds while eating? I told you that’s dangerous shit, Arin,” he gently scolded with his mother-like impression.

“That was yesterday!” Arin snapped with a grin, making Dan glad to see he was at least responding well to humor.

“Well we can sit here with our thumbs up each others’ asses, or you can tell me what’s up straight.”

“Not us,” Arin made finger guns at him.

“I know that,” Dan drawled dramatically, unable to suppress a giggle. “But what’s wrong?” he asked, setting a hand on Arin’s knee to rub his leg.

Arin took a deep breath and said, “I was kind of reading the comments on your new video.”

“Oh fuck, don’t tell me. Some fucker decided to give his two cents about how I’m wasting my talent as a singer?”

“More or less,” Arin mumbled. “There were so many positive and supportive people, so I was already emotionally compromised, but then there was just…one major asshole. Told you it was dumb.”

Dan shook his head, “It isn’t that dumb. People can be hurtful. I’m just wondering why it impacted you so bad. I mean, you know not everyone can like my band.”

“Well yeah, but why can people not just leave their goddamn negativity to themselves? Just because they don’t like your style doesn’t mean they have to come at you like that.”

“Arin, you’re the only one that comes at me,” Dan smirked and wiggled a brow. Arin rolled his eyes and shoved Dan’s shoulder. Dan made a musical chuckle, then sighed, “I appreciate you looking out for me, man. Just don’t let those idiots get to you. Let them waste their time.” Dan slung an arm around Arin’s shoulders and drew him in for a hug, rocking them back and forth slowly.

After a moment of silence, Arin sheepishly said, “Hey, Dan?”

“Yeah, Big Cat?” Dan raised a brow at him.

“…Sing for me?”

Dan smiled, taking a moment to settle on a song and going with the mellow version of “Take on Me” from the Deadpool 2 soundtrack. Dan rubbed his hand along Arin’s arm, letting Arin tuck his head up under his chin. He shut his eyes as he lost himself in the song, noting that Arin’s breathing had evened out slowly but surely.

When he trailed off the final lyrics, Dan kissed Arin’s head and said, “Your support for my career means more than anything in the world. It totally overrides asshole spew.”

Arin snorted and began to laugh, choking out, “Asshole spew,” into Dan’s shirt.

Dan burst out laughing as well, as that hadn’t come out as intended but now they were here. “Your support is the Clorox Wipes to their asshole spew,” Dan managed to say through the laughter.

Arin was crying anew again, but this time it was tears of mirth still due to the new phrase. Dan wrapped his arms around Arin and pulled him down to laugh in a tangled pile on the couch; he was just glad he’d managed to make Arin smile again. It was all he ever needed.

#egobang #prompt #fic #fluff #comfort #crying #singing #i made up the asshole #i haven't looked at the comments #don't go lookin' for a comment that ain't there #polygrumps

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koalas-koalas-everywhere · 5 years

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Well, Assassin Nation Plot left me with mixed feelings.

On one hand, Peter’s finally doing something to move the plot along, something that’s been sorely lacking in his titles. I mean, really, except for this arc, Peter’s been more of a side character than a protagonist. Like, Nathan’s health problems, Kristy’s bulimia, Mary Jane’s career problems, Robbie’s conflict with Tombstone, Jonah being kidnapped and replaced by the Chameleon, Glory’s relationship with Eduardo, the gang war between the Lobo brothers and the Kingpin - Peter might be the thing that’s linking all of them and allows them to exist on the same book, but he’s sure as heck not in the middle of any of them, at least not out of anything other than responsability. (He might be meddling in the gang war, but he didn’t really change much - like, what, warning the Arranger when they would be attacked? Since they got past their defenses anyway, it didn’t do anything, except maybe giving the Kingpin time to escape, and that’s a big maybe, since he already didn’t trust the Arranger bc he thought he’d been keeping info from him, so he might have been gone for a while. Leading to Glory killing Eduardo? The Kingpin left bc he saw them fighting and figured they’d take care of each other, if Peter hadn’t been there, Fisk might have very well ended up fighting him instead, and we’re left at base one, except maybe Glory’s decision to shoot Eduardo’s oponent might not have been so frustrating if it had been a mob boss instead of a hero who had been advocating peace.) No, his arc has been about needing money to get a new place. So it’s a nice change of pace when he’s willingly involved with something, first to fix a mistake, then because of financial encouragement, you know, give it a personale stake. Also nice to see him having an impact when he fights - lately all of his battles have been futile, because his oponents get away, or they’re dealt with by someone else, or he sticks with the small fry while someone else gets the main course (this applies especially to his Annuals, except Web #5, and his involvement in Atlantis Attacks). In Assassin Nation Plot, he actually got Weil, who they thought would be their main lead to solving the problem, prevented the documents from getting blown up in an attempt to generate hostility towards Symkaria and got proof that the US hadn’t been the one to order the assassination of Symkaria’s king/queen-to-be/prime minister. While he couldn’t have done it without help, at the end of the day he was the hero of his own comic.

As I don’t read Captain America or whatever comic Solo appears in, I can’t comment much on them. They seemed to be there mostly as a token and, in Cap’s case, to move the theme of the arc. It was the same with Silver, she was there as a catalyst, mostly. Like, yeah, Cap was very patriotic, Solo was murderous, Silver... was patriotic as well, all of them kicked ass, but I can’t for the life of me bring to mind something that makes me say “Aha! I understand this charactetr better now/ this is an important development” which, with the first two it’s okay, but Silver only appears on Spider-Man, so with her it’s frankly appalling.

Also, I don’t know what was going on in the US back then, but the patriotism theme was kinda dumb. Literally the only worthwhile comment about that was that blind patriotism can be as bad as anarchism. (And since anarchism doesn’t necessarily include terrorism...) I mean, if I was Peter, this is how this conversation would have gone:

Silver: “Would you die for your country?”

Peter: “I risk my life everyday for everyone there, I do the same everytime I travel somewhere else, I literally did the same for you a few days ago when I wasn’t being paid, only because I understood the danger your country was in, what the heck makes it better if I do it for a flag than for the people living under it?”

Like, from Silver, I get it. She’s not a vigilante, she’s a mercenary for her country. While her actions themselves aren’t always heroic, the results (the pay she gets) are, because it goes to support Symkaria. That’s what her concept and target of heroism revolves around, providing well-being to her people. She’s actually denied a widow very needed compensation, so I’d actually say she struggles with one-on-one empathy or compassion. On the other hand, Peter tends to focus on the individuals rather than colectives. I mean, he has super-villains, and they’re an immediate threat to many, unlike a thief, but he still doesn’t look at the big picture of, like, the effects they have on anything other than the lives they’re endangering or might endanger if they’re let loose. So it’s weird that that remark left him uneasy. Like, “I’ve literally, knowingly and willingly left myself open to being shot, which I’d been trying to avoid, so I could save one (1) person, but would I do the same for thousands?”

And the Red Skull offered him money to let him go and his reason for not accepting was patriotism? As far as Peter knew, this was the guy who killed his parents. Even going at it rationally, money wouldn’t have been worth much with the US destroyed. And having spent multiple days working for Silver, getting a thousand for each, he wasn’t pressed, exactly. Of course, the money he already had would run out sooner than later, but he wasn’t desperate.

But beyond that! This is a guy who gave up every last cent he had to keep a woman he’d met once from being evicted. In the very first ASM issue, he says he won’t rob a bank because he’s not a criminal, and he’s just heard heard he and his Aunt are about to get evicted, just after Ben died, so he wasn’t only upset, none of them had any sort of income which would at least give him a reason to think they’ll be okay for a while. Heck, the one time he stole something, it wasn’t even all about need: the Beyonder had turned a whole building into gold and the government had ordered for it to be kept secret so that they could get rid of it and not flood the market. He was helping get some people out, because the gold was giving in under its own weight, and he’d been pondering about how a notepad that someone had thrown away to the trash bin could help him solve all of his and Aunt May’s problems, but he still wouldn’t take it, even though the government’s people had shot at him when he’d stayed to help. He only took it when he found out the Kingpin was being given all the typewriters, and he did it partly as a statement - he went and told the agent responsible that he was taking it because he was outraged at heir dealings with the Kingpin, and then took, like, at least 30 issues to actually sell it, he considered giving it to charity, even though he really needed the money, because he felt so guilty. He went against his moral code to protest a corrupt power/piss off someone he didn’t like, you think he wouldn’t stick to them to stick it to Red Skull?

Why is his reason patriotism?

Also, it’s clear that patriotism was supposed to be the theme of the arc, so why didn’t they introduce the concept sooner than the 3rd out of six part?

#Spider-Man #Spider Man #Peter Parker #live blogging #comics #The Assassin Nation Plot #ASM 320 #ASM 321 #ASM 322 #ASM 323 #ASM 324 #ASM 325

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ritebeforeyoureyes · 6 years

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Haunt

Thank you all for being so patient! I am still overwhelmingly swamped with writing essays and work but have been writing this chapter in small installments so I could update as soon as possible. Hope you like it x

Masterlist – Plot: Tom makes a declaration that changes everything.

Haunt (Chapter Fourteen)

“What is it, Sam?”

Sam had taken Tom back into his office in silence. It was a suspense filled few moments and Tom was growingly becoming more and more anxious; anxiety that was heightened because Zendaya had just picked up and left. The image of her retreating was burned into his brain, an image he was positive he never wanted to see again. had smiled meekly as she’d closed the door, her saddened and confused face haunting his every thought. He had lost her once and he was stupid to do it again. Her leaving was only temporary, he was going to give her a little space before reminding her that she needed him, that she would always need him. She

Tom was also antsy because he was both turned on and furious. He wanted to protect her, have her by his side at every waking moment, whilst simulatenously rebuilding their slowly rekindling relationship. They had had a moment that had meant more than just blinded lust and he was determined to start from there – build from there. She had given him into, even if momentarily, and Tom was determined to start from there; take baby steps. He wanted to remind her that deep down, there was still that old Tom that she’d helplessly fallen in love with.

“I need you to promise me you’re not going to do anything reckless.” Sam broke the pregnant pause, forcing Tom away from his train of thought. “No kidnapping, no drive by shooting-“ The field of work that the Holland boys were involved in meant that it wasn’t problematic to grab a gun, shoot someone and make it look like an accident. Tom had done it many a time and Sam needed to ensure he wouldn’t this time. After a long time, Sam was going to have to advise his brother to keep his personal and business lives separate. “Whatever I’m about to tell you doesn’t justify you going to kill this Trevor guy, okay?”

“Just tell me.” Now, Tom was more than interested than ever. Sam was usually such a straight forward person, his hesitation meant something he’d found something of serious value to him.

Again, Sam hesitated. He still had second thoughts about telling Tom plaguing his mind and he closed his eyes for a few moments to breathe. Without fully comprehending his actions, he threw a weighty file into Tom’s lap. Within seconds, Tom was skim reading the first few pages, eager to learn the news that his brother was dancing around. But, as he read monotonous facts, he realised he was just going over the same content that had been recited to him on the phone; Trevor’s age, his occupation, his familial background. “What exactly am I looking at-“

“Flick to the last page.” Sam instructed, placing a palm to his forehead in an attempt to relieve the prevalently forming stress lines. He rubbed at his skin softly, turning his back to his brother before the metaphorical bomb exploded.

As instructed, Tom did as he was told, his eyes glancing over the collection of pictures in his hands. He looked them over once and then once again - they were amateur photographs, taken from someone’s car window but they were still pretty much clear as day – Trevor in and outside a jewellery store.

“So, what? He went to the jewellers, big deal-“ Before Tom could finish his own sentence, his eyes caught onto the thing that had been holding his brother back from confessing. As he looked over the photo over and over again, Tom felt his throat go dry drastically. “Fuck!” Tom threw the file as if he’d been electrocuted, the papers flying across the floor like leaves in the autumn wind. “I’m going to kill him, I swear to god I’m going to kill him-“

In front of Tom was solid evidence of Trevor picking out engagement rings. The picture solidified his feat of trialling different cuts and different gems before deciding on a pure silver and diamond incrusted band. It wasn’t anything too fancy. but it was sparkly and large enough to suggest that Trevor, a working-class guy, had been saving for months (years even) From everything Tom had learned, he knew Zendaya and Trevor were serious but … marriage was something he’d never considered between the two. Getting married was a completely different ball game of seriousness. Regardless of everything that had happened in Zendaya and Tom’s past, he had only ever envisioned marrying her. And marriage was something he rarely thought about. Despite their breadth of time apart, Tom had never met a girl who had even remotely met his Zendaya level standards and it almost felt betrayal that she had found someone other than him to settle down with. Marriage was a big deal that coalesced with all levels of intimacy: buying a home together, merging finances … having children.

“Tommy, you can’t kill an innocent man because he’s going to propose to Zendaya-“

“Like hell he’s going to propose to her-“ Tom sighed heavily, his mind suddenly growing extremely heavy. If he was jealous earlier, he was unbelievably so now. Tom had never felt angrier and as unadmitted as he was, upset. And, he wasn’t sure if his emotions were directed at Trevor or at himself. Trevor had gone to a jeweller to buy a ring – an engagement ring that was presumably purchased to be given to Zendaya, his Zendaya. And it was the reality check that Tom needed. He was inches away from losing Zendaya for good and he was determined, now more than ever, to prevent that from happening.

“Tom-“

“I need to see her.” Tom threaded a hand through his hair and tugged, multiple scenarios of Trevor proposing flooding every fibre of his being. He saw him on one knee in the middle of Brooklyn Bridge, he saw rose petals and champagne, he saw Zendaya in happy tears at the Top of the Rock; he saw everything that he had one day always pictured happening to him and Zendaya. “I need to see her, Sam-“

“She left so you could give her some space-“ Sam, as the voice of reason, tried to pull his brother out of his one-sided perspective but he was readily interrupted.

“I don’t give a shit about the space anymore.” As stubborn as always, Tom wanted his way and he wanted it now. “I’ve wasted too much time being away from her already, Sam! For all we know he could knocking her door right this moment, giving her that-“

“Is that such a bad thing?” In Sam’s mind, he was prioritising Zendaya, the older sister type figure who had always been so full of life and drive. She had seemingly gotten out of Oakland without having to succumb to the authority laced behind somebody else’s money or join or a gang or sell her body. By using pure talent and her own motivation, she had gotten out and Sam didn’t want her endeavours to just be thrown out of the window because of his family. He wanted more for her than the life he lived. But as soon as the words left his mouth, Sam regretted them instantly. And it was because of the words per say, it was because of Tom’s reaction. Before Sam could even take a breather, Tom’s fist was flying square into Sam’s nose. The hit wasn’t hard enough to break his nose, but it was definitely forceful enough to draw some blood and some consequent profanities. “Jesus, Tom! Will you calm the fuck down-“

“Is that such a bad thing?!” Tom mocked Sam’s slightly higher tone of voice. “Are you fucking kidding me right now!?” Tom roared, his fist still tightly clenched. “I’m not letting Zendaya, my Zendaya, marry some cocky, disrespectful bastard when-“

“When what, Tom?” Sam yelled back, his mind desperately trying to force his brother into seeing the bleak reality of his situation. This wasn’t a fairy-tale, after inheriting Barrett’s money, their lives weren’t normal anymore and they were never going to be. If Sam could save Zendaya from the corruption prevalent in their lives, he was going to try his best. “She isn’t yours! You left her and somebody else picked up the pieces!” Tom was ready to punch Sam again but expecting it this time, Sam deflected the hit. “Have you once stopped to think about her in this whole situation? You want her, you want to save her, you got her into this mess. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe this isn’t what she wants? That a life of crime and looking over her shoulder isn’t what she pictured when she moved out here?”

“I …” Sam’s words, every single one of them, was a knife to Tom’s gut. “I can’t just … let her go-“ Tom sighed heavily, collapsing into his chair with an overly dramatic flair. “I can’t … I love her!” The harsh reality of his words was a shock to Tom too. It was like the light bulb moment in a movie. Everything went still and quiet, the gears turning in Tom’s head at his own stripped back honesty. Him and Sam looked at each other, their eyes bulging and their eyes widening almost comically. Tom paused, letting his declaration sink in before he reaffirmed it. “Honestly, you know I’ve always been in love with her and I can’t let her slip through my fingers, not again.”

“Well, if you do love her, then maybe you need to pull your finger out and sort out your act.”

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#tomdaya #tomdaya fanfiction #tomdaya fanfic #tomdaya fan fic #tomdaya fan fiction #ritebeforeyoureyes #haunt #haunt chapter fourteen #au #alternate universe

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