#I started writing this in like fucking July
Note
May I please request some information on the different lover au? :)
Been sitting here in my inbox for a long time. Sorry-
I just didn't know exactly what to put so since I've already explained the basics, I'll give some fun facts I guess?
So I ended up talking with @miinsie (the one who ironically sent me a joke anon ask and I turned this shit into an au) and here's the crap I rolled out
The reason Tea and Joe didn't end up together is because Joe and Dice were already kind of together (with open relationship type of thing for sexing because those two idiots (Joe and Dice) are wild. Dice's fucking the literal Devil and Joe's just "Ok." gives a thumbs up and forgets he's Christian)
Tea and Silverworth are together because he's a close friend of hers and their marriage was a coverup to make it look like the pregnancy was planned and THEIRS (no malice towards Joe, he even understood, because back then not being married and having a kid was like EnD oF thE woRlD to people (still kind of is tbh)) But they ended up falling in love anyways after time, and Silverworth becomes the boys' honorary dad.
Dice is an honorary father to them too, before Tea finds out about him working for the Devil. Tea gets absolutely pissed and fearful, telling Joe that unless he keeps the boys away from Dice, he's not going to see the boys. Which is kind of what this post was alluding to.
However, Dice points out that Joe can replace lovers, but not his kids. Though, there's a problem with that- Chalice. Joe and Dice had literally just adopted her a couple of years ago, shortly after the boys were born. (She's 3 years older than the boys, so at this point she's like 6, so still way too young to understand why her parents would be splitting up.) So they have to figure out what's best for her too, but also understand that Tea has to do what's best for her boys.
So please give asks I literally beg and plead and get on my knees
#different lovers au#different lovers#joe java#tea kettler#silverworth forkington#kingsly dice#I started writing this in like fucking July
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traitor to the cause forgets national holiday every year KILL HIM
#just realized i wrote may instead of marsh lmao. fuck it#trans day of visibility#trans day of eating food#tdov#tdov 2024#transgender day of visibility#trans#transgender#lgbt#gay#my art#another year eh#still in pretransition purgatory (get me tf out!!!)#idk man past year's been bad. last time i showered was july i'm goin 9 months strong 9 months weak 9 months decrepit#i manage to go through the motions with not much else in the way of progress. eat sleap shit piss rinse reuse recycle#trans day of eating food is shaky too this year. just found out yesterday i can't eat a snack anymore that i've liked since i was a kid#discovered a new love for green beans though. everything in balance#with my living situation getting more unsafe i've been thinking a lot about asking my neighbor if i can stay with him and his family#cause i don't like... see people other than them anymore so i don't know anyone else i can ask lol#and maybe i can get my shit together and start transitioning if i get out..... it's the least i need to do anyways#at least i gotta ask if he would be willing to oversee my funeral in the event of it cause i do nnnnot trust my next of kin with that shit#go watch youtube “Protecting Trans Bodies in Death” by Caitlin Doughty. contains important info for anyone really but#especially so for the titular transengendered individual#write your will... OK?#it doesn't have to be a bummer do it with a friend make it a girls night boys night hotties sleepover#death mention cw#wish i had more to say on the topic this year that wasn't a downer. i'll see what the next year holds#and hey... if a guy like me isn't giving up a motherfucker like you sure as hell shouldn't... adios & bon voyage my compatriots. SALUTE
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went into my drafts and dug up the post i made where i was gonna outline a steddyhands fic where stede wasnt just nice to izzy out of nowhere and i finished it up but oh my GOD that shit was fucking hard. kept thinking about ed's face when izzy said "i should've let the english kill you" and becoming overcome with rage.
#mine#mwp#<- thats my writing tag#and usually i use it to talk about my ACTUAL fics (of which none are finished). but idk i dont want this to get into any fan tags lmao#anyway. i wrote it. it's done. whatever. i forget when i scheduled it for but it'll post and then i can forget abt it#i started writing that post in JULY and then got stuck on ''ok so why shouldnt they just kill izzy now tho''#and i wanted to give up but some of what i'd written by that point i kinda liked. like i might steal scenes from it for smthng else#but i didnt want it in my draftsssss and i didnt know where else to fucking put it#so i fucking finished it to get it out of there. the end
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//
#i feel SO gross and weird and anxious about my stupid job#the person i reached out to that i thought would help me or at least back me up completely blew me off#so there goes that relationship/mentorship that i thought i could depend on#and now i have to go reach out to somebody else who patronizes me every single time he talks to me#all to see if i literally even have a fucking job#teacher work days start in less than two weeks and i don't have a fucking contract!!!!!!#it's been a complete shit show all summer trying to get ANY information much less any commitment on their part#and i'm sick of it and i feel like i'm gaslighting myself into thinking i'm the problem#like ''oh you just haven't given them enough time'' or whatever#the truth is they should have had this shit nailed down in february. at the very least by the time last school year ended#it's fucking JULY!!!! school starts in THREE WEEKS!!!!!!!#so yeah i hate confrontation and i hate being assertive and i hate being made to be assertive in confrontation#but i have to be because i'm not going to let them treat me like shit because it did good work for them and i deserve some basic respect#ANYWAYS. rant over. going to write this email and uhhhh throw up probably idk#maddie.txt
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I haven't posted a fic in months girl help
#for fucks sake it's christmas in july too😔#however i did write nearly 2k words of two seprate outlines for obi-wan fic#but their just outlines i can't post them#my lil joker fic is on hold cause i get teary eyed everytime cause my dog died#that's a long story in it's self#i started a christmasy fic with frank but it's like 100 words#and its sucks cause i dunno how to write frank#mhm just girly tings#i don't even wanna talk about my eddie fic cause it's probably so ooc#bby rambles
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perks of being a zine contributor is 1. right to a free copy and 2. seeing the sneak peeks of everyones progress.. like cool i’ll be looking forward to having the finished product in my hands thank youu
#theres also merch happening so im peeping discussions on prints double sided charms bookmarks stickers buttons mb a folder or notebook like!#tfw literally the expected date fr this thing to be all finished & ready fr distribution isnt till may-july but. grabby hands gimme#also fun fact im writing two fics & both have a limit of being 2k max. as a bitch who is used to long form you have no idea how hard this i#starts writing and goes like HOW are we at 600 words already ive BARELY set the scene fr whats about to happen. SKREEE#might fuck around and join a secret santa as well in the discord circles bc god knows i should not be contained to a 2k limit#yes that would mean having to finish 3 separate fics by the same end of the year deadline WHILE being a real adult w a job but!!! i wana!!
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I am seriously considering writing the last 2-3 chapters of till now right now to channel this weird ass sad mood I’ve been in all week
#my nonsense#it’s either that or start Eddie’s version of the exes fic since I’m at the falling in love part in bucks already and I’ve been trying to#write their first kiss for like two days now and I just can’t gather enough happiness in me to do so#or maybe I should write all the sad parts in bucks version and just stitch them together later#I don’t know what they fuck is wrong with me#when I looked at the calendar and June and said ‘ July is going to be sad’ I wasn’t making a prediction but here we are
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at what point is it just better to say fuck it and restart a project
#olaya speaks#i like what i have so far but im stuck#and idk how far back to go to try and fix it#the main issue is that i only have a vibe and 2 scenes when i started working on this#so the characters/relationships are too vague even in my mind?#like i KNOW who they are & how/why they act etc etc but i cant verbalise it well i think#and 24K words isnt a lot all things considered and there's a lot of things i could reuse#but i fear going back to the start will only be a temporary solution. even if i get further next time#and idk i was thinking of getting to the 'end' of the story and the working my way thru it to create the 2nd draft#since theres a lot still in the air and having to force myself thru it now does help with focusing on what i want to happen#and gives me a clearer idea of what needs improving and more/less how i want to fix it#damn i guess its time to ask my friends for advice#even tho they dont give a fuck about this project and we have such different ways of approaching our writing sfjshkd#anywyayyy#wait. im seeing them face to face in july#i can wait till then and give myself some time to keep working on this#cause id hate to go crying to them for help#only for my mind to clear 2 days later lol
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Dea Romana
(Minatozaki Sana X Male Reader)
(Author's note:
Hi everyone! Thank you for patiently waiting for me! I'm done with writing my exams now, so I will be able to write more again until Juli. Since I like history a lot, the beginning got a bit longer than originally planned, but I hope you will be able to enjoy it nonetheless. I tried to make everything as historically accurate as possible, but please don't expect everything to be true.
Stay healthy! I will do my best to upload the next piece as soon as possible!)
Every muscle feels like it's burning. Your legs and arms feel heavy. Your feet barely lift off the uneven ground with every step you take.
Dried blood stains your face. Your armour doesn't look much better. The shield you are holding, has a big dent in it. The javelin in your right hand feels like it's made out of steel. The chainmail on your chest weighs heavier than usual.
"Marius!"
Your second in command shouts at you from the back.
"The women need a break!"
You sigh in annoyance. It's bad enough that you almost got your whole century killed. Now you have to delay your reunion with the rest of the legion because of those Gaul captives.
"We will take a short break."
You announce to your eighty legionaries and the twenty rebels you captured.
Spotting a small stream near by, you walk closer, while most of the soldiers sit on the ground, some are standing guard.
Taking off your helmet, you start to wash your face. The dried blood sticks to your skin. After some effort, you are just a little bit cleaner.
Another sigh leaves your lips as you kneel in place. In front of the small stream, your century in the back, looking into the deep forest.
You have lived a hard life. You were not born a Roman. Not born a free man. But you took your life into your own hands, instead of hoping for the mercy of the gods. Because gods don't have mercy. Only you can change your own destiny.
"Let's keep marching. We are almost there."
You go back to the front of the century, your men following your orders. Most of the Gaul rebels you captured are women and children. Their husbands and fathers killed by your swords and javelins.
Orders are orders. To kill or to be killed. These are the only two principles you live by. At least most of the time.
"Have you heard yet?"
Quintus asks from behind you, catching your attention. You silently wave for him to walk next to you. It's not necessarily the gossip you're interested in, but you did learn that it's important to know what is going on inside your century and the legion itself.
"Aelius fucked up some of his soldiers."
You raise your eyebrow while you keep walking. Nothing new there. Aelius is a spoiled son of a whore. He only became centurion in the tenth, because of his family's status. And he is usually unnecessarily brutal with his century.
"Reason?"
"They ate some of the extra rations we all got a week ago. Aelius said that they are meant for centurions only. Not for legionaries."
You have to stop yourself from spitting onto the muddy path you are walking on.
Aelius paints the perfect picture of the Roman nobility. Rich assholes. Nothing more. Nothing less.
"Did he kill someone again?"
Quintus shakes his head.
"But I heard that the premus pilus had a talk with him."
You let out a dry chuckle.
"All the centurions of the first cohort are the same. Do you really think he got in trouble?"
"No. But I thought you would be interested. It's not like you have very good connections with-"
"Shut it, fool."
It's not really a secret in the tenth legion that you and Aelius are bitter rivals. The two of you are the completely opposite of one another. A rich brat, who is the centurion of the third century in the first cohort. And you. The former slave, who climbed the ranks to be the centurion of the first century in the second cohort.
There aren't many ranks that separate the two of you. But making the jump into the first cohort as a former slave is nearly impossible.
Your century walks in almost complete silence for the next couple of hours. Despite being one of the most feared soldiers in the legion, you can't help but be cautious. In case there are more rebels lurking in the shadows of the large trees.
"Marius!"
The scout you send out to check the path ahead is jogging in your direction.
"We take another short break."
A light murmur of gratitude echoes through the ranks.
You wait for the young man, barely older than a boy, to reach the spot where you are standing.
"Someone seems to be traveling towards the camp. Our paths are going to cross, once we reach the small clearing ahead."
"Do you know who it is?"
"It looked like a person from the nobility. There was a carriage. And a couple of men with spears. Probably guards."
"We can't be too cautious. Titus!"
You shout for your second in command to walk to the front.
"Take your contubernia and make fast pace. I want to make sure that everything is going according to regulations."
"Yes, Marius."
The rest of the century starts marching at normal pace again, while the eight men rush ahead. The scout leading them towards the small crossroads.
"You know what's going on?"
You shake your head at Quintus' question.
"Might be a politician from Rome. Or a nobleman's wife."
"You know that that's against the law."
Of course everyone knows. It's illegal for a legionary to be married. And yet, some centurions always think that they are above the rest of the legion, when it comes to this kind of rules.
"What is the meaning of this?!"
An angry shout echoes around the forest, just as you and your men reach the small clearing.
The scout was right. A carriage, pulled by two grays, accompanied by a handful of men, armed with spears, and some servants.
An older woman is standing in front of the carriage's door, screaming at the poor Titus. Glancing over his shoulder, your optio rolls his eyes.
"Woman. Don't scream at a Roman legionary."
You make your presence known as you keep walking towards the middle of the clearing.
The servant, probably around forty to fifty years of age, looks at you with anger in her eyes.
"Do you even know, whom you are holding up?!"
"No."
You state bluntly, finally standing in front of her. Behind you, you can hear your men take their positions. Not to threaten the travelers, but to guard the area.
"Well, she is one of the most prestigious women in all of Rome."
"And what is a woman like her doing so far away from the city?"
"Visiting her husband."
You click your tongue. As far as you know, none of the centurions in the first cohort have wives. Which means, she must be the woman of a centurion, who ranks lower than you.
A smirk, which you can't suppress, plays around your lips. How are you able to enjoy a higher position than a noble in this republic?
You walk off without another word, leaving Titus in charge. There is no need to bother with this stuff. Some of the Gaul rebels fell a little behind earlier. You have to check on them. In case they are sick or badly injured.
"Her name?"
You hear Titus ask, before the woman let's out an exaggerated gasp.
"Sana Lucii."
You groan in annoyance. By Jupiter. Is this really his wife? Lucius Aelius? Just when you thought, you couldn't hate that man even more.
You despise men, who don't follow the law and rules of the republic and the legion. Of course, sometimes you can define them a little different for your own gains, but this is just breaking them.
Trying to stay calm, your fingers tap the pommel of your gladius. You don't hear a response from Titus. He must know which Lucius the old woman ment.
"Marius?"
He finally makes you turn around.
You walk back up towards the carriage, just as the door opens.
"By Bellona! What is taking so long!"
You have to say, you are amused by the woman's expression. You didn't expect her to call out for the goddess of war.
"Just doing our duty, lady."
Titus answers politely, although you know how hard it is for him to not lash out. He hates Aelius just as much as the next soldier. Especially, since he is your optio.
You are stunned, once the woman actually shows herself. Her beautiful face is slightly twisted with annoyance. Although, you would be sure that she could look like Venus herself, when she smiles.
She is wearing a turquoise stola, which also covers her brown hair. The thin material enables you to have a look at her white tunic underneath. Her skin looks flawless and pure. A golden necklace adorns her neck and collarbone. It's probably worth more than a whole year of your salary.
An image of a goddess.
"I hope we can speed up this process. I'm supposed to be by my husband's side."
Lucky bastard.
"Please. Speak respectfully with my legionaries."
Her gaze meets yours. You can feel your heart skipping a beat. Not one woman has looked as pretty as she does. Not one.
"Who are you to lecture me on speaking?"
"Salve."
Your fist meats the blood stained chainmail on your chest.
Maybe, if you behave respectfully, so does she. The army is for her protection after all.
"My name is Marius. And-"
"What's your first name, centurion?"
A cute smile suddenly plays around her lips. Maybe this will get her out of here faster.
"Gaius."
"I see, Gaius. I'm sure you have more important things to do than stop me from traveling further? My husband must be waiting for me."
If she didn't know better, Sana could swear that she caught a glint of hate in your eyes.
"This is protocol. We have to check on everyone, who approaches the camp."
"I'm a noble woman. Can't you make an exception for me?'
You don't fall for her sweet smile. You are on duty. Not even Venus herself could distract you. Well, maybe a little bit.
"Your choice. Here, or at the gate in front of even more legionaries. Like everyone else."
That last part makes her glare at you. You won this round.
Not waiting for a response, you gesture for your men to search the woman's belongings. Your Imperial legate has more than enough enemies in Rome to be cautious of. And you don't want him to end up dead inside his own camp. Even if she is allegedly Aelius' wife.
Quintus nods in your direction after going through her belongings, signaling that everything is alright.
"We will accompany you on your way to the camp. We are on our way back, anyway."
You turn around without looking at Sana again. A signal for your men to get into formation.
It feels like she stares at your back for a second longer, before you hear the door close behind you. You don't like the Roman nobility. At all. There is only one man you are willing to follow.
After two more hours of marching, your century and the noblewoman's entourage finally reach the camp's gate.
"The village, where the senior officers are staying, is right behind the camp. You can't miss it."
The older woman, who screamed at Titus earlier, still looks at you as if she is holding a grudge.
"I hope you enjoy your stay in these wonderful lands, lady."
You raise your voice a little, making sure that Sana can hear you. It drips with sarcasm and you can hear Quintus chuckle behind you.
"Vale."
With a dismissive wave of your hand, you walk past the old servant. Her shock at your rudeness visible on her face.
Already making your way past the guards, you can't hear Sana's scoff.
Who are you to talk to her like that? If she is gonna tell her husband about this, you are going to be in trouble for sure.
Sana will never be able to get used to this. She was able to decide that, immediately after she stepped out of her carriage. It took her only a couple of steps to enter the small house her husband is living in right now. But that was enough for her already.
Nothing here looks like Rome. Even the legionaries look out of place. And their shouts and the sounds of shields and stuff isn't what she hears when she is home. Sana is already missing the comfortable house with the atrium. She likes to bathe in the sun throughout the day, while sipping on a really good wine.
"You're late."
Lucius doesn't even look up from his small table as he hears his wife coming in.
"That's how you great me after a year?"
"You know how I value punctuality."
"Out of my hands. Some centurion insisted on searching my luggage. He was really rude."
Now Lucius is looking at her. Sana knows that he can't stand someone disrespecting him. And when she gets disrespected, it goes deeper. He is affected as well.
"Who?"
She can see his eyes becoming a little darker. He bites his lip, maybe trying to prevent himself from shouting.
"His name is Garius Marius. I think?"
"That son of a whore. How does a slave dare to stop you?"
Now, Sana feels shame run down her spine. If she knew that he was born a slave, she would've hit him for talking to her like that. No matter his rank, he is and will always be beneath her. Once a slave, always a slave.
"I swear to Jupiter. One day in battle, I will..."
Lucius takes a deep breath, before focusing back on his wife.
"We are eating dinner with the Imperial legate, the leader of these legions tomorrow, and the senior generals. I expect you to impress them."
"I'd be happy to, love."
Sana almost spits out that last word, but Lucius doesn't seem to notice. He sits back down, opening an envelope. She can see how his eyebrows are still furrowed. He won't let this incident pass without consequences.
Sana eventually leaves the house to explore the small town and it's market. Despite being married to Lucius, she can't stay around him for too long. She is only his wife, because of his money and connections. As soon as she can find someone better...
Sana feels a little dizzy as she steps out of the big house. Lucius told her to be on her best behavior. But that idiot was behaving the worst throughout the dinner.
She hated how calm and reserved the other centurion was, the man who stopped her. He was the lowest ranking soldier and yet, everyone listened to his advice and thoughts about future and past battles. And how is he on a first name basis with the imperial legate? And why is Lucius too incapable to enjoy the same treatment? How can he do worse than a slave?
Sana holds onto the wall, standing right next to the entrance. Suddenly, two men walk out the door. They don't see her because it's dark. She tries to find out who they are. The first one is a little taller, while the second has broader shoulders and looks more muscular.
"We can't do this forever, Gaius. We need a plan to wipe him out. I expect you to help me with that."
"Of course, Gaius."
Sana almost groans in annoyance. Of course it's that Gaius Marius. And the other one is the Imperial legate. Gaius Julius Caesar.
"Rome is an empire. We will defeat Vercingetorix sooner rather than later. His supporters will crumble soon."
"You did a good job today, centurion. You've proven once again, why you rightfully carry the name I gave you. Gaius Marius Antonius."
Sana assumes they are talking about some barbarian leader. But Caesar gave him that cognomen? She can't help but wonder what he must've done to be called "priceless".
"You know the political situation in Rome. The more time I waste conquering Gaul, the more powerful my enemies become."
"I swear to Mars. I will cut down anyone who tries to oppose you, Gaius."
She sees Caesar put a hand on the centurion's shoulder.
"It's only a matter of time, until you will be one of the Tribuni angusticlavii, leading the tenth legion into battle. And I will make sure, you will eventually become a rich senator."
Sana has heard enough. It's so disgusting to her. A slave becoming a senator. She is working so hard to become the most powerful woman in Rome. And with that in the whole empire. How can that lowlife become something better than she herself? Sana either needs to push Lucius further up the ranks, or she needs to find someone, who can match Marius' new found status.
Sana groans in relief, when she can finally leave the small village. It's not like someone forbid her to leave, but there just wasn't something to do in and outside the village. What was she gonna do in a forest? A very dangerous one at that?
But now, she heard of a big market place around two hours away. Sana is still looking to buy some oils and pottery. She could do that in Rome of course, but she is hoping to find them cheaper in their land of origin.
Looking out of her carriage, Sana leaves behind the village and the big camp right next to it. The constant noise made her head spin. Not that Rome isn't loud, but this is something else.
After about an hour, Sana hears a troop of men marching in front of her. She became familiar with that sound after a few days. She doesn't look outside, despite being curious. Why would a century be here? The battles would take place in the opposite direction. Right?
Sana hears how the carriage passes the back of the century. The heavy steps of the legionaries kick up some dust. Her old servant looks outside, curious herself.
"It's him again."
The older woman grimaces, before letting the curtain drop back into place.
"Who?"
"The man who stopped us a couple of days ago."
Sana's attention is now on the men outside. She remembers the conversation you had with Caesar.
"Really?"
She pretends to be cold, not wanting to get caught. After having seen you around a couple of times, the young noble woman is unsure on how to feel about you.
Yes, you are a former slave. A peasant. But you are also a great centurion. A trusted man to Julius Caesar.
Despite being not the highest ranking officer, Sana did notice how the other men look at you. She catches an occasional whisper of your brave actions in battle. She sees the men greet you with almost too much respect. Even the other centurions seem to want to be on your good side.
Maybe that's what Sana has to do too. In order to further climb up the ladder. It is risky. And it's still a long time in the future. But if Caesar can really make his ambitions reality, you will be one of the first people who benefit from it. And if Sana plays her cards well, she can benefit too.
For a moment, she wonders what a man like you would need. Something she could have to bargain with. Money? You probably earn quite a lot already. Especially compared to your earlier environment. Land? You will get that too, if you stay long enough in the army. A wife? You are a soldier. You are not allowed to be married.
As Sana is still pondering on what to do to convince you to help her gain more power, she gets closer towards the front of the century.
And it's not like she doesn't have influence. She could maybe even get you a promotion into the first cohort. Of course without her husband finding out.
Sana draws back the curtain a little with only one finger. Just a few meters ahead, she can see you walking.
Your helmet is decorated by a big crest of red horse hair. The back of the helmet and the rest of your armor shimmer in the light of the sun. She remembers your first encounter. Your armor was full with blood, indicating that you were more than able to fight a battle.
You turn around as you hear horses behind you. It wouldn't have been a surprise. One of the auxilia officers could be taking his men out to train.
Surprised at the sight of the carriage, you catch a glimpse of the passenger. Her eyes meet yours, a big golden ring decorates the finger that holds back the curtain. You could swear you see a small hint of a smile play around her lips.
"Salve."
You great her by hitting your armored chest with your fist. Not because you like her, but out of politeness.
"Salve, centurion."
Her passive aggressive mentioning of your rank indicates that she is still not over that incident a couple of days ago.
"Are you visiting the market?"
"I am. I suppose you are not here to buy pottery?"
A mocking smile replaces the earlier one.
"It may sound unbelievable, but I'm not."
A cute chuckle escapes her mouth.
"Well, I hope you enjoy this beautiful day."
Is she still mocking you, because you are on duty? You are not sure, but you can see her lazily wave goodbye as the carriage drives past you.
"Don't get too close to her. She is only gonna be trouble."
You look at Quintus.
"I'm merely being polite. I don't need trouble with angry nobles. At least not now."
"By Jupiter. One might think you've become a responsible, grown man now."
"Fuck off."
You raise your hand, but Quintus ducks away, avoiding a potential slap.
Only listening with one ear to the conversation next to you, you scan the market for the young noble woman. Despite her attitude and the fact that she is married, you can't help but glance at her occasionally. Plus, the market isn't as safe as it might seem. Cunning merchants, thiefs and rebels might roam the place, ready to strike at any moment. And being a beautiful Roman woman makes her one of the most desirable targets right now.
"Listen, Roman! I barely sell anything! How do you expect me to pay your unreasonable taxes?!"
"Shut it."
You turn back to the stall holder. Titus' and his conversation got heated.
"We are not hear to argue. We are here to collect taxes."
The man grits his teeth.
"I'm telling you! I don't have anything to give away!"
The other people around you look at the scene, before walking past. Only you and a couple of legionaries are here. The rest of your century is patrolling another village nearby and the rest of the market, making sure you are not getting ambushed.
"Don't scream at me, old man. Pay up."
"I don't have a fucking coin!"
You know he is lying. You saw someone buy his fabric from a far as you entered the marketplace. And, judging by the money bag he held earlier, it wasn't cheap at all.
"We can do this the easy way, or the heard way."
You take a step forward, towering above him.
"But the hard way won't end well for you."
"I already told you, I-"
You let your head fall back in annoyance. Collecting taxes is a necessity. Not something to be proud of. It's not as honorable as fighting in battle.
"Do you really want to go this far?"
You look down at him again, your hand now resting on the pommel of your gladius.
He caught the movement of your hand, worry creeping onto his features.
"What is it gonna be? Your life? Or coin?"
The old man is not stupid. And a couple of moments later, you walk away from his stall. The tinkle behind you indicates, that Titus is adding the silver denarii into the bag with the rest of the already collected money.
"Are you trying to rob me, old man? You are a con artist!"
Women screaming at a merchant are as common as clouds under the sky, so you don't pay much attention to it as you hear someone scream.
"How can you demand so much for this lousy work?"
You keep walking, although you kinda feel, like you heard this voice before. It sounds oddly familiar.
"By Bellona! I'm going to have you beaten for your rudeness!"
And there it is. With an annoyed groan, you immediately recognize, who is disturbing the rather peaceful market.
If she was a common local woman, you would've kept walking. The Galli could solve their own disputes.
But Sana is, as unfortunate as it is, not a local. She is a Roman woman. A member of the elite even.
You take a deep breath, before walking towards her screams. You can already guess whom she is screaming at.
"Keep going."
You tell Titus over your shoulder, as you approach her from behind. Her servant must have stayed with the carriage, because Sana is standing in front of the stall of the potter all alone.
Before the young woman can scream another word, you grab her arm.
"What-"
You spin her around and walk away, pulling her with you.
"What do you think you are doing?!"
"Silence."
You didn't say it in a loud voice, but your tone makes her go silent.
After a couple of meters, you stop, turning around to look at her.
"You're welcome."
"Excuse you?"
Her hands now rest on her hips. You can't help but catch how slender her waist seems to be.
"I just saved you from embarrassing yourself even further. You owe me."
You turn away, ready to reunite with Titus and your men.
"What the-"
It's now Sana's turn to grab your arm, stopping you from leaving.
"I don't owe you shit."
"Really?"
You turn to look at her again.
"Your temper is as bad as your observation skills. Minerva would strike you down for your utter incompetence."
You said the words, before you thought about them. You are aggravated. Because of the merchant earlier, because of her causing a scene, because of Lucius (as always) and because of her being his wife. Alright, maybe that last one was a little jealousy.
"How dare you? You are some rude-"
You stop her from saying another word by grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around.
"Look. Look and tell me what you see."
"What are you talking about?"
You see her frowning. An act that makes her beautiful face a little less flawless.
"Tell me what's going on."
You realize you are using the same tone as with the men during training. Harsh, straight forward, a little condescending. But not rude. Just factual.
"The merchant is still selling his stupidly expensive pottery."
You don't answer, waiting for more.
Sana, visibly annoyed, struggles against your grip for a moment, before giving in. You are a seasoned legionnaire. There is no way she is gonna get out of your hold on her.
"There are a couple of women and men who browse his items."
"Keep going."
"Someone is buying a bowl and an amphora."
"What is the woman on the right doing?"
"She is paying for her stuff. What-"
"Can you see how much she is paying?"
"Way too much for a stupid-"
"Do you see any of the locals complaining?"
Sana hesitantly shakes her head.
"Do you know the reason?"
"Because they are stupid. In Rome it's cheap-"
"We aren't in Rome, woman. This is Gaul."
You stand behind her, both of you silent for a couple of moments. You give her time to think about the possible reason. Although she is probably just complaining about you to the gods in silence.
"They all pay the price he demands, because he and his work are respected here."
"But they look-"
"Yeah. Some of his pieces aren't pretty."
You admit that.
"But he is an old man. His hands aren't as good as they used to be. He is obviously regarded with a decent amount of respect."
You gesture for Sana to look around the market.
"Most of the people here bargain over every single item. Food, cloth, tools and even pottery."
You turn her back towards the old man's stall.
"But not there. They respect him too much to try to get a better price. His work might not be the very best anymore, but his skill is known by everyone here."
Sana groans in annoyance and anger as she sees you coming out of the biggest tent of the camp. A week has gone by, since you treated her like a child at the market. Her blood still boils, whenever she sees you from a far.
She decided against telling her husband, not wanting to cause unnecessary friction. And if you have the favor of Caesar, it might be a bad idea to egg on her husband.
And Sana is still debating on your ability to help her seize more power. She is ready to do anything to get to the top. Even if it means working together with someone as low born as you.
Sana stops in her tracks as she sees her husband walk towards you.
"Aelius."
You don't greet him like any other lower ranking centurion would. The young woman can feel the tension between the two men, despite standing barely in earshot.
"Marius."
His face shows a disapproving twitch.
"It seems like we are catching up to Vercingetorix. I hope you don't make any mistakes in battle. I would hate to lose a lower ranking officer."
You click your tongue, taking a step forward.
With the two of you standing right in front of each other, Sana realizes that you are bigger than her husband. Not just in statue, but also in the way you carry yourself. With slightly less arrogance and more discipline.
"Don't worry about me, Aelius. As you know, I always make sure my men are taken care off."
Sana feels a shiver run down her spine. She heard more than enough stories about the battles of the tenth legion since she joined her husband. The amount of times that you were mentioned in one of them was noticeably high.
The young woman heard of a battle two summers ago. You weren't a centurion at the time. Merely a soldier of the second cohort. But in battle, your centurion chose to let his men die, while he stayed behind, watching his century getting slaughtered. After half of the eighty men were dead, you walked straight towards the cowardly centurion. A nobleman, which the storyteller didn't fail to mention with a hint of disgust. Your gladius seperated his head from his shoulders in one swift motion and you took command of the second century until the end of the battle. Caesar honored your bravery and agreed with your actions. Instead of getting executed, you got promoted.
"Are you implying I'm not leading my men well?"
Sana hears you chuckle.
"News travel fast among the younger men, Aelius."
"Maybe you should discipline your soldiers like I do. Your century is a disgrace to the tenth legion."
"Nugas garris. You are pathetic."
You walk off, leaving him behind.
Sana almost expects her husband to draw his gladius. How can you call him a disgrace? And idiot? He is higher ranking than you and he is a member of the elite.
But Aelius just watches you leave, before entering the tent you just came out of.
That short interaction reminds Sana of the power you actually hold. You might not be the highest officer, but almost the whole legion treats you as such. If it wasn't for your low birth, you might have been able to be the centurion of the first century of the first cohort.
Sana's decision is slowly forming in her mind. A plan to gain more power than she has right now. Siding with you might be risky. But the rewards could be great.
Sana glances at you from across the room as you stare at Caesar, who is currently talking. She is still not quite sure what she can offer you to make you join her side. But when the leader of the legion mentions the nobility in his speech, she sees your expression change for just a second. It is obvious that you hate all the wealthy and arrogant men and women. Maybe Sana can offer you something to get back at them. Or at least get back at Aelius.
"And that's why the tenth legion outshines any other. Your bravery and honor are praised throughout the whole empire. Rome is grateful for what you have done. And the gods smile down at the men, who give their lifes to the republic."
Caesar ends his speech. And with that, the long meal is finally over. It is night time already. Only the moon and the stars still shine.
You walk out of the large tent, ready to sleep. It has been a long day and there is no doubt that you will be fighting soon. Caesar's promise to promote you to such a high position still rings in your ears. You can't believe you've come this far.
"Gaius."
Her sweet voice makes you stop in front of your tent. She doesn't sound as angry as she usually does.
"Yes?"
You turn around, standing face to face with Sana.
"I'm here to ask you for something."
You look at her, waiting for an explanation.
"I heard that you are the bravest and most powerful man in this legion. At least unofficially."
You raise an eyebrow.
"Where is all of this honey suddenly coming from?"
Sana gives you a melodic chuckle. Only now do you realize how close she is standing. Her oils make you breath in the flowery air that surrounds her.
"I want to strike a deal with you."
"What would you want from such a low ranking officer like me?"
Your sarcasm makes it hard for Sana to not lash out. Just because she needs you, doesn't mean that she likes you.
"As far as I've heard, you won't be a low ranking officer for long."
"Is that so?"
You cross your arms in front of your chest.
"Well, it's actually quite simple. You have something I want. And I have something you want."
"I highly doubt that."
You watch Sana turn her head left and right, making sure that no one is around.
"There is a always something a man wants from a woman."
You are surprised at what she is suggesting.
"Judging by the look on your face, I can comfortably say that I'm right."
You shake your head, which seems harder than usual.
"Have you never thought about having your way with me? A noble woman?"
She takes another step closer. Now, Sana's sandals are touching yours.
"A married one at that? I bet you would love to destroy my husband. This could be your first step to success."
You narrow your eyes, still unsure of what to do. You've never been in this kind of situation. Is she making fun of you? Did Aelius put her up to this, setting a trap for you? Or is she genuine?
"What would you get in return?"
"Your power. Your influence. I can't live, knowing that another person might have more power than I do. I need to be at the top of the republic."
"And you think, I can get you there?"
Sana nods.
"With my support? Definitely."
She looks at you, waiting for a response.
You are still torn. She has a nice body, yes. But you're not fond of her attitude. She is a noble woman. And she is married. Getting caught would have serious consequences. For the both of you.
But the chance to use her? A noble woman? Fucking her, while her husband is only sleeping a couple of tents away? More than just tempting.
You look around the camp yourself. No one in sight.
"Get in."
A victorious smile forms on her lips. As she walks past you, she lets her finger glide over your armoured chest.
You follow her immediately after.
"Now that we have come to an agreement, I-"
You push Sana forward, bending her over the wooden table.
"What-"
You don't give her time to speak. If you're going to do this, you're going to do this quickly.
Hiking up her red stola, you reach underneath her tunic. The smoothness of her legs makes you hard as you reach between them.
"It seems like you are enjoying this more than I expected."
Your fingers graze her lower lips. She is not just a little wet.
"Hey, I didn't give you permission to-"
You shut Sana up by covering her mouth with your other hand.
"I don't need you permission. I'm going to ruin you anyway."
Her gasp is muffled by your hand as you push your first finger inside.
You haven't slept with a lot of women, the army being mainly responsible for that. Nonetheless, you do know how to pleasure a woman.
Sana's moan escapes between your fingers as your digits slide along her wet walls. Her pussy is already gripping them tightly.
If it weren't for your hand, her head would've sunk onto the table already. But you are holding her in place, which ultimately makes her arch her back.
She tries to say something, but your grip on her mouth makes it impossible for her to speak properly.
You are surprised at how wet Sana is.
"Was your desire for power just an excuse? Do you just want me to fuck you?"
She tries to shake her head. You don't let her.
"Do you get off, knowing that a lower born man is fucking you?"
Sana is unable to respond, when you let go off her face. Her whole upper body is now lying on top of the table. You drop your belt and hike her clothes up a little further.
"Don't get confused. I still don't like you."
Sana's growl doesn't sound very convincing with your fingers inside of her.
"Might be true. But you aren't married to Aelius because of his personality anyways."
Pulling your fingers out of her core makes Sana moan loudly. She blushes in shame. Doubt starting to rise inside of her. Is she really only doing this to team up with you?
"You only seem to care for power."
"So? Only a coward wouldn't want power."
You shut her up by letting your tip graze against her lips. Sana hisses through her teeth, unwilling to moan again.
"I'm just curious about how far you would be willing to go. How dedicated you are to this cause."
"Don't worry. I'm ready to do anything."
"Anything?"
You raise an eyebrow, which Sana can't see.
"Anything."
"That's reassuring."
Your nonchalant tone makes Sana shiver.
Finally, you push inside of her.
"Fuck, woman."
You can't help but marvel at how tight she actually is.
"Fuck me already."
It's a mixture of plea and demand.
With one hand you grab her hair, pushing her cheek against the wooden surface. Your other hand holds her waist.
Another moan escapes Sana's lips as you thrust forward. Before she can react, you pull back and push inside of her again.
After just a couple of seconds, you start to fuck her hard. The table rocks back and forth with every thrust. Her moans escape her lips, whenever you bottom out inside of her.
"Harder!"
Sana holds onto the edge of the table, her knuckles slowly starting to turn white.
Because you keep pushing her upwards with your thrusts, the young woman's feet eventually dangle in the air.
You are now able to fuck her even deeper. Her moans become louder when she feels your cock invading her pussy even further.
At this point, Sana is merely a hole for you to fuck. She doesn't move. Only your thrusts rock her body back and forth. The thin material of her clothes makes Sana's nipples rub against the wooden surface. They've become hard due to her arousal and are now adding to the pleasure she is already feeling.
"So good!"
She moans yet again. You suddenly realize, that this isn't really a save place to be this loud.
"Shut up."
You growl into her ear, trying to quiet her.
But Sana can't help it. She has already lost control over her body. Your cock is parting her walls again and again, making her clench around it tightly.
She is even unable to produce a disappointed whine, when you stop fucking her. You leaver her snug pussy, before getting her off your table.
Turning her around, you push Sana against the wooden post, which is holding up the roof of your tent. Reaching for your belt, you hold her arms up, before tying them together.
Sana is now unable to leave. You pick up her light frame, making her impale herself on your cock.
"By Bellona! Fuck!"
"I told you to stay quiet."
Your faces are barely an inch apart.
Because you push her body against the post, you are able to lift her up with only your left hand. Your right one moves upwards to wrap its fingers around her throat.
"One more word..."
You let the threat of unknown punishment linger in the air for a moment.
But you can't hold yourself back for long. Sana's pussy drips her juices onto your cock, coaxing you into resuming your pounding.
A whimper escapes her mouth, when you start to fuck her again. You can tell she is at least trying to stay quiet this time. While you make her bounce on your cock, you thrust upwards. It makes her eyes roll back, whenever she feels your cock pushing against her guts.
"Venus!"
A louder sigh escapes her mouth yet again. You close your fingers around her throat a little further.
"Behave."
The conflict in Sana's eyes amuses you.
She should be the one in charge. She is the noble one of the two of you after all. But here she is, bound to your post, your hand around her throat as you fuck her as hard as you can.
Sana tries to fight the belt, wanting to tell you that you have to choke her harder. She can't keep quiet when you fuck her like this.
Another moan escapes her lips and you tighten your grip yet again.
"I warned you."
You hiss into her face.
Sana's wide eyes look beautiful. The way she stares at you, begging you to fuck her harder, while she tries her best not to make any noise.
But she fails miserably. A loud sigh echoes through the tent.
Without a word, you reach upwards. The sound of metal on metal cuts through the night as you pull your pugio out of its sheath. You let Sana get a good look at it. Then, you slowly part her lips with its blade.
"If you don't want to hurt your pretty face..."
You don't continue your sentence once more. But Sana is well aware of the risks.
With your dagger in her mouth, Sana has to pull back her lips, while simultaneously biting onto the blade, to make sure it doesn't fall or hurt her.
You see her closing her eyes as you keep fucking her. She is now really quiet, focused on keeping your pugio in place.
"Finally. Your voice so annoying."
Sana blushes in shame, able to see your honesty in your eyes.
"At least you have a nice body. I could fuck you every day."
The young woman almost lets out another moan. She really has to hold herself back. This was the first time someone reduced her to nothing but a wet hole to fuck. She didn't expect it to feel this good.
You suddenly hear footsteps outside. You stop moving, almost making Sana whine in disappointment, but then she hears it too. The two of you hold your breath. Neither of you wanting to get caught.
As the footsteps disappear into the night, you resume your fucking.
You make Sana bounce up and down on your cock. She glides along its full length. Whenever you impale her on it, Sana's eyes shoot wide open. She would scream if it wasn't for the dagger between her teeth.
"I'm gonna cum."
You hiss into her face, unable to hold back longer. Her tight pussy has been working on draining your cock this whole time. It feels perfect, almost too good to pull out. But cuming inside is obviously not an option.
You put Sana back onto her own two feet, taking the knife out of her mouth. Undoing your belt, you free her arms. Sana drops to her knees, opening her mouth. You catch a couple drops of blood on the corners of her mouth, before she wraps her lips around your cock.
Your pugio falls out of your hand and you take a fistful of her beautiful hair. Her eyes look up at you, telling you to finish inside her mouth. Her tongue glides over every inch of your cock it can find, while her lips are tightly sealed around it.
"Sana."
You manage to groan her name, before you unload inside her mouth. You feel dizzy, having to close your eyes for a moment.
When you open them again, you see Sana gulping down your cum.
"How often do we need to do this, so that we have a deal?"
"I think you know the answer."
It's so dark that Sana's face is barely lit by the torch outside. You could swear a small smile plays around her lips though.
#kpop#kpop smut#kpop girls#kpop gg#male reader#twice sana#twice#sana minatozaki#sana twice#sana smut#sana#twice smut
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i do it better — julie han
CW: smut, noncon -> dubcon, blackmailing, vouerism, degradation, choking, reader’s daiting julie’s younger brother, gp julie, creampie, slightly innocent reader, corruption kink, darcyphilia, pet names, julie’s lowk a perv! not proofread but when is it!?
word count: 1.1k
the long awaited anon ask! :D i need to write for kiof theres barely anything wlw..
julie can’t believe it. how can her loser brother manage to pull you? julie was almost immediately whipped for you when her brother brought you to their house to introduce you to them.
you’re so stunning and the sweetest girl ever, her and her parents already loved you! so there’s no doubt that the two of you would be best friends, such a shame her loser brother got to you first. she wants you so bad and she can treat you so much better than him, and poor you, you don’t got a clue of what she’s thinking about doing to you.
she starts testing her luck and her actions become more suggestive. calls you baby and has you call her unnie and she even gropes you or feels your body up, whenever you go in for a hug she’s pushing your head into her tits and she’s wrapping her hands around your waist, getting herself hard.
when her loser brother’s not home, you two have a girls night out! you’re both in her room having fun, watching movies, eating snacks, applying your skincare items onto her face which she thinks is so cute how you’re so excited to apply it on her face :(
when things start winding down, she’s pulling you to her bed, letting you lay on her shoulder when your eyes starts getting droopy and you struggle to keep them open.
she waits until you’re almost asleep before she’s laying you flat on your back with her hands on your waist, sucking your neck.
“u-unnie..?” you open your eyes, trying to move away from her but her grip is just too tight on your sleepy body. your eyes are wide and your breathing picks up faster, hands frantically trying to stop her but she giggles knowing that she way stronger than you.
“don’t tell me you don’t want this, baby. you came in my room with the sluttiest outfit ever,” she whispers in your ear, before she’s moving her hands under your shirt, “hah, no bra? are you really this much of a whore? you knew this would happen, didn’t you?” she sneers, fondling with your warm tits.
you’re shaking your head and telling her that you’re sorry and that you’re not a whore. you know there’s nothing you can do to stop this but your still gripping onto her forearms trying to get her to stop with tears flooding down your cheeks.
“don’t cry, baby…let me have my way with you, kay?” she smiles, you just nod her head, looking into her sinister eyes with your glossy ones.
she’s lifting you up to take off your shorts and panties, admiring your pretty cunt before she kitten licks your cunt, making you jolt and squeal before she’s landing a slap to your cunt, “quiet slut. you don’t want my parents to find out that you’re letting me fuck you right?” she asks making you stifle out a ‘no’
she goes back into your cunt, tongue fucking your cunt and rubbing her thumb on your lil clit. she can’t help but hump the bed and moan into your cunt! has her brother ever had you arching your back and moaning from foreplay alone like how she has you?
“fuck..” she says, pulling away from your cunt and undoing her shorts and her boxers, revealing her pretty cock, already covered in her precum.
she’s raising your legs up to your chest before she’s sliding her thick cock into your folds, your eyes widen and your let out a loud whine before julie’s covering your mouth with her hand.
“as much as i—i want to hear your pretty moans, you’re gonna get us—caught, you don’t want that do you?” she questioned through staggered breathing from the grip your cunt has on her cock.
she’s pounding into your cunt so hard, she can see the tummy bulge that her cock forms when she pushes into you. she chuckles before she opens her phone and starts recording you.
“tell me i’m better than him, baby. whose cock do you perfer?” she growls.
you try and speak but your mind is blank, drools spilling from your mouth and your eyes are in a daze, “have i fucked you that dumb baby? c’mom look at the camera. show them how pretty you look dazed outta your mind.” she coo’s, slowing down her pace and gripping your chin, forcing you to look at the camera.
“cock..please—your cock is better, unnie!” you hiccup, body’s exhausted and you’re too dumb to care about the phone that’s recording you.
“so cute…you’re unnie’s good girl. gonna reward you, m’kay?” she giggles wickedly before she’s placing her phone to the side and putting your legs on her solders, picking the pace up again.
she has you pinned with nowhere to run, she’s muffling all your sounds with her mouth. kissing and bitting on your lip, her hips move wildly and her cock hits your womb repeatedly, making you muffled screams rip from your shaking body. she pounds into you a few more times before your eyes roll to the back of your head and your jaw slacks, your vision blurs and your begin to see stars all around. your body’s shakin’ before you’re aggressively cumming all around her cock that doesn’t stop pounding into you.
“noo—mommy—unnie! stop p-please!” you whimper, tears fall from your eyes once more from the overstimulation.
julie’s far gone, she can’t hear anything you say, too focused on cumming inside you. shes gripping your neck, pounding into your cum-filled cunny with aggression, hitting the same exact spongy spot. you can’t help but cum again from the feeling.
“take it. take all that i give you.” she grunts before she’s pushing her whole length inside you, cumming into you with 5 thick spurts of her cum. filling you all the way up with her cum.
“where’s your manners baby?” julie brings her thumb to your clit, making you whine, “t-thank you unnie” you cry out. shes removing her thumb and kissing you on your temple.
she begins to pull her softening cock, covered in the mixture of cum. she takes a picture of your creampied cunt with her phone before she plants a kiss on your twitching cunt.
she’s got you blackmailed and now you can’t try and avoid her, she keeps fucking you and forcing you to suck her off so she can get new photos of your pretty body :(( she’s so mean to you but she fucks you so much better than her brother can! she fucks you so good and then cuddles with you, buying you anything you want with her card. <33
#♡.julie#♡.kiof#kiss of life#julie smut#julie han#julie han smut#kiof smut#julie han x fem reader#kiof julie smut#wlw smut#g!p#kpop smut#kiss of life smut
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Never Have I Ever
Pairing — Chan, Changbin x fem!reader
Wordcount — 8,913 words
Genre — 18+
Includes — Mentions of body insecurities and past romantic relationships. Struggles with sex and sexuality. Consumption of alcohol (but no sex under the influence). Explicit sexual content, smut warnings under the cut.
Author's note — It's been a while since I've post something this lengthy... I have to be honest, I started writing this last year (July 2022) but I felt so unsatisfied with it that I never got to post it. I made some corrections, added some more details and now I'm ready to share it with you! Hope you like it. Please remember to leave a comment, reblog or ask if you liked this. And! This is the yearly reminder that I own a ko-fi. If you wish to support my work further, you can leave me a tip there! The link is on my pinned post. Thank you for reading me.
Smut warnings — Use of pet names (baby and princess). Dirty talk, threesome activities, mutual masturbation, oral sex (m. receiving), double penetration, first time anal, description of pain and crying during sex. Multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, pulling out and facial.
"Never have I ever..." Chan hummed, his right hand swirling the green bottle he had been drinking from for the past minutes, "had sex in a public place".
He looked at you and then at Changbin, his curious gaze wondering how he missed an opportunity to make either of you drink from your alcoholic beverage.
"I haven't had sex in a public place," Changbin mumbled, "but I have done other things".
"You have to drink either way," Chan insisted.
"You said sex," the black-haired complained, "next time try to be more specific".
You sat there in silence with a look of amusement as you witnessed the silly discussion your two best friends were holding.
"There will not be a next time," Chan sighed, leaving his bottle on top of the small coffee table next the shared couch, "at this rate, we are going to be wasted and she will remain sober".
You smiled with victory imprinted on your face, imitating Chan's action and leaving your beverage on top of the table, "we should've betted money on who was the most innocent one among the three of us, I could've ended the night with more bucks than the ones I have on my wallet".
"I can't believe you dated that asshole for 3 years and yet you didn't do anything with him," Changbin murmured with disbelief.
"Do you think I am lying?" You questioned him, tilting your head slightly backwards and resting it on the wall behind.
"I know for a fact you are not," Changbin replied, "that's why I’m impressed".
"Well," you took the bowl of chips that was placed between you and Chan, "sex isn't everything in a relationship."
"You say so because you haven't fucked," Chan scoffed, his characteristic dimples showing as soon as the sound of his laughter escaped his lips.
"We did fuck though".
"You say so because you haven't fucked properly," Changbin corrected his best friend's statement, the choice of words making your skin burn in embarrassment.
"Just because I am not into the kinky stuff you guys like doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the sex with him," you whined, throwing a cushion at Changbin, "plus, why are we making my sexual life a topic of conversation? that's something private".
"It's just amusing," Chan mumbled, taking a sip from the bottle, "you didn't drink from your soju the whole time".
"You guys asked such odd questions," you admitted, "threesomes, sex in public places... how was I supposed to drink when I have no interest in those sorts of things?"
"Alright, alright," Changbin interrupted, both of his arms doing signals for you and chan to be quiet, "we will start small".
You looked at Changbin and then at Chan, unsure of what the twisted game your dark-haired friend was thinking about. Nonetheless, your hand reached out for the bottle of soju and you returned back to your previous position, back against the wall and head tilted slightly backwards.
"Never have I ever given my partner oral sex," Changbin mumbled, both pairs of dark eyes fixed on you as they waited for your final answer.
Placing the tip of the bottle in between your lips, you made sure to drink just a small sip from it. Not being too fond of the taste of alcohol nor the feeling of being drunk, you tried your best to limit your consumption during the evening. Of course, playing this kind of game was rather easy for someone as inexperienced as you were.
"Never have I ever received oral sex," Chan continued the attack, expecting you to hold the bottle again and drink from it.
But, after a few seconds of awkward looks and odd grimaces, he understood that you were not going to take another sip of alcohol.
"Never have I ever tried anal sex," Changbin queried and, again, no response from you. "Well, that one was a bit obvious".
You darted him a killer gaze and he scoffed, looking absolutely unimpressed by your sexual inexperience.
"Never have I ever tried more than 2 different sexual positions with my partner," Chan questioned with a teasing smirk and, for the first time that night, you felt a bit shy at your lack of experience.
It was true that your sexual life wasn't the best, not even with your ex-boyfriend of 3 years, but you wouldn't dare to admit it out loud. For some reason, the thought of having to talk about how much he sucked at those things embarrassed you and, knowing your best friends, they wouldn't be able to forget such a confession.
"No wonder why you broke up with him," Changbin whispered, diverting your attention from Chan's image all the way to his. "Let me guess, missionary and doggy?"
You were not the type to get your cheeks blushed but still, the skin on your face was burning in shame.
"Never have I ever faked an orgasm with my partner," Chan added, capturing your whole attention once again.
You knew Chan and, if you were to take a wild guess, you would say that his countenance changed from amusement to concern. In his face, you could catch a glimpse of almost the same reaction he had when you told him all about your break up and how your boyfriend cheated on you several times before you found out.
Even though his reaction was rather odd to you, you still took a sip of your bottle, "shit".
"This is way worse than I thought," Changbin sighed, stretching his body and placing both of his hands behind his neck.
"Just one more question and I will let this go," Chan hummed, trying to satisfy his curiosity without making you uncomfortable, "alright?"
You nodded with resignation, "shoot".
"Never have I ever had an orgasm with a partner," and, as soon as you heard those words, you couldn't help but fix your gaze at your shoelaces that were a hundred times more interesting than whatever was going on inside the tiny living room of your apartment.
"Damn," Changbin's harsh voice interrupted, breaking the awkward silence that was starting to fall down upon the three of you, "are you serious?"
"Why would I lie to you about these things?" you asked with a high-pitched voice, your mind bringing back the memories of the few times you got to spend with your ex.
To be completely honest with yourself, you couldn't deny how hideous the sex with him was. It was rushed, fast, boring. He was focused on his pleasure rather than yours, lasting for not more than 5 minutes and calling it a day. "I'm exhausted", "I came so hard", "I'm so sleepy" were just a few of the things he used to mumble right after overcoming his high and, as much as you loved him at the time, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed after each session. He made you feel like an object who was only meant to give him pleasure without receiving any and, for the longest time, you thought it was completely normal.
"You never talked to him about these things?" Changbin questioned you, making your heart sink at the realization that he was just as worried as Chan was about the whole situation.
"It is not a big deal guys," you tried to convince them, even when you knew that it was, in fact, a big deal, "luckily we are not together anymore so I can leave those boring experiences in the past".
"Still," Chan's words felt like he was scolding you, "you went down on him several times and he couldn't even do that for you".
"Yeah, well-" you sighed, standing up from your seat and stretching your whole body, "I will make sure to get a better and trustworthy fuck buddy next time, I have learned my lesson".
Chan and Changbin remained silent as you started to pick up the mess from the living room, gathering the empty bottles of soju and the wrappings of the snacks you had been eating that night.
"Why don't you help me clean up?" you queried, looking down on them while they spared complicit glances at each other, "the living room is a mess and I don't have plans on doing chores tomorrow morning".
"Hey," Changbin hummed, still sitting on the floor with both of his palms against the rug, "we uh-"
The way your dark-haired roommate stumbled upon his words made you curious about what he was going to say next.
"We would like to help you out with your other issue," Chan spitted, bluntly. Still sitting on the couch with his legs spread, he lifted up his gaze to meet yours.
"What other-" you started the sentence with a smile on your face but, as soon as you realized what they meant, the smile and fondness was transformed into nervousness and curiosity, "oh".
"Oh," Changbin repeated almost with the same intonation you did.
"Listen, you don't have to agree to this," Chan rushed to say, standing up from the couch almost as the same time his friend did from the floor, "me and Changbin, we have discussed this for a while now but we just- we never knew how to approach you about it".
You looked at the two men standing in front of you, suddenly feeling your knees and legs ten times weaker than before. For a while, how long is a while?
"When you say a while, what do you mean?" you asked him, slowly placing the empty bottles on top of the table again.
"We both thought you were attractive the first time you moved in with us," Changbin explained, clearing up his throat as he watched you take a seat on the couch again, now they were the ones looking down on you. "Of course, at the time you had a boyfriend and everything, it was never really a plan, just a thought".
"A thought?"
Changbin looked at Chan and then diverted his gaze to something else, trying hard to avoid giving more information than he needed to.
"One night we were just talking about how much we both liked you," Chan spoke slowly, trying to find just the right words to portray their twisted and perverted fantasies with you, "how much we wanted to be with you, like that"..
"And you have decided to tell me that right now because…"
"We just saw an opportunity to bring the topic and we took it," Changbin continued without even daring to make eye-contact with you, "we don't really lose anything by asking".
"A threesome, then?" you queried with your pair of eyes fixed on them. It was new how nervous they looked right then and there in front of you, clenching their jaws and avoiding eye contact at all costs.
Both of them nodded.
"I... will think about it," you concluded shyly, expecting them to say something else rather than nodding and continuing on picking up the trash that you had placed on top of the table after hearing such revelation.
Other than agreeing and whispering a series of "okay, yeah's", your roommates didn't say anything else. The tension in the environment changed but, at the same time, it didn't feel awkward or overwhelming. If you had to describe it, you would dare to say it was almost pensive.
"You have work tomorrow?" Chan asked, interrupting the silence that was quick to build up after your last words.
"No, I am taking this weekend off," you replied, carrying the green bottles all the way to your kitchen counter.
"I'll get those," Changbin mumbled, picking up the bottles that you had left behind because you could only carry that much.
You didn't want to give them the wrong impression, one where you felt awkwardly uncomfortable at their proposal to the point of not wanting to interact with them in any way, but it was almost impossible to talk when your mind was filled with thoughts.
"Everything alright?" Changbin queried, closing the trash bag and leaving it on the floor right next to the trash can.
"Yeah I just- I'm feeling very tired," you replied, blinking several times before fixing your gaze on him, "it has been a while since I drank".
Liar.
You drank less than half a bottle of soju and all three people in that room knew that.
"You should go to sleep, " the black-haired murmured, not daring to look at you. "We will clean the rest of the living room and continue on working for a bit before going to bed, it's still early".
You unlocked your phone, without having any notion of time, and realized that he was right. You thought it was already midnight but the clock was barely at 10 p.m.
"Thanks," you politely replied, brushing your hands against your denim jeans and standing there for a while before excusing yourself, "goodnight".
As you walked from the kitchen and back to the living room, Changbin's gaze burned on your skin like a fresh cut. He wasn't nervous or uncomfortable, no. He was probably regretful, thinking that the two of them had screwed up an adorable friendship with their best friend just for the sake of wanting to get their dicks wet.
"Goodnight Chan," you mumbled while walking across the living room, Chan's eyes lifting up to meet yours without hesitation.
"Hey," he said, clearing his throat and turning his whole body around to face you, "me and Changbin, we wouldn't want things to get awkward".
"Me neither," you faintly smiled, trying to give him the reassurance he needed in order to understand that you weren't uncomfortable nor scared after their proposal. "I'm alright, don't worry too much about it".
And after he offered you a smile back, you closed your bedroom door right behind you.
Saying you were alright was a lie, especially when your whole body stopped being numb and regained its consciousness. The wetness between your thighs betrayed you once again, just like every other time you were around those two.
"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, closing your eyes and swallowing hard.
Only then, you started to mentally curse yourself. You knew how bad you wanted them, how many nights you spent touching yourself wishing it was one of them making you feel good. You, who even while being in a committed relationship, spent hours and hours daydreaming about any of them bending you over the kitchen counter and fucking you until you couldn't do anything but take them completely.
I will think about it.
There was absolutely nothing to think about and you knew it. What was stopping you then? Trying to act all collected and insightful when, in reality, there was not a single day where you could go without pleasuring yourself to the thought of them.
What is stopping me?
You stood there in silence for a few more minutes until you heard their room's door closing, rushing to grab a towel and a pair of clean clothes before running into the shared bathroom of the apartment. It was safe to say that it had been a long day.
Letting the hot water run and taking every single article of clothing before stepping right into the shower, you asked the same question one more time: what is stopping me?
And, as your eyes found your reflection in the foggy mirror, you understood the answer.
You could dream about them as much as you would like, but the nervousness of being not one but with two new partners scared you to death.
They proposed to you.
The idea was appealing, but the anguish that it represented was too strong to be fought in such a small period of time. You trusted them with your life, you really did, but you also knew them more than anyone else in the whole world. You knew what kind of girls they dated and what kind of things they did. You were nowhere near those qualifications and the fact that they even brought that idea was as flattering as it was confusing.
Either way, the mere thought of knowing they desired you like that made you wonder what kind of perverted ideas they thought about whenever they saw you around. What did they see in you that you failed to appreciate?
*
Standing in front of their bedroom's door, you breathed three times before finding the courage to knock on it. The clock would strike 12 a.m. and you knew for sure they were still awake. That excited you as much as it scared you.
The door opened before you could knock again, unsure if they had heard the first pair of faint knocks. Just as you had predicted, both of them were still working on some of their projects.
"Everything alright, princess?" Changbin queried, his dark eyes scanning your figure with discretion.
Princess. Changbin called you like that sometimes for as long as you could remember and it never failed to have the desired effect on you.
Wearing a black oversized shirt with nothing underneath but a pair of pink panties, it struck you only then that maybe you had executed your idea wrong. In your mind, you completely missed the part of the small chat before telling them your verdict about the proposal.
"Can I come in?" you asked, his body walking just a few steps back as he opened the door for you.
Chan turned around on his chair, welcoming himself with the sight of your body.
"I thought about it," you murmured shyly, sitting on the edge of Chan's bed before daring to look at the hungry gazes of your best friends, "and I want it".
"Hey," Chan rushed to call out your name, his parted lips inhaling more air than usual, "don't feel pressured to do it, if you decide not to I promise things are still going to be the same".
"I mean it," you assured him, "I just- I have a condition".
The three of you looked at each other for a couple of seconds in silence.
"Go on," Chan spoke, his whole body leaning forward.
“You said you often thought about me in that way".
"We do, yeah," one of them voiced but the two of them nodded, eager to hear the rest of your demand.
"I-" for a short moment, your breath got caught up in your throat and you wondered if the sudden courage and bravery were sponsored by the cheap alcohol or your undeniable arousal, "I want to know what you think about me".
Changbin looked at Chan and then at you, his body language changing drastically from relaxed to tense in a matter of seconds.
"Is that what you really want?" He queried. His voice was as seductive as it was intimidating, his question seeming more like a warning than an invitation.
You simply nodded.
"I know nothing about this," you murmured, the warmth on your skin spreading throughout your body as Chan's and Changbin's gaze fixed on your eyes, "and you two are the most trustworthy men I know".
"So you want us to teach you?" Chan asked with a soft scoff, the lowness of his voice taking you by surprise.
"I just want to understand what is so appealing about sex to other people," you admitted, shrugging your shoulders and tilting your head, "I just want to know how much I have missed".
Chan couldn't help but smile with fondness at your words, the warmth in his chest mixing up with the warmth between his legs. It wasn't just the fact that you trusted them enough to give your body to the two of them —it was the knowledge that, now that you had accepted their plea, they had the opportunity to make you feel like no one before.
Changbin walked up to your figure, the mattress slightly sinking as he took a seat right next to you. Whether it was out of nervousness or pure excitement, you couldn't help but shudder once the fabric of his black shorts brushed against the naked skin of your thighs.
"Don't be afraid," he cooed, his right hand moving upwards to find the left side of your face and turning it towards him, "you trust us, right?”
Your eyes met the curvature of his lips and, while his face approached you softly, you melted into his hands. The way his breath was stupidly close to be felt and his hand burned deliciously against your skin had you letting out a soft sigh before making the desired contact with him.
And it felt just like you had imagined it. Even better, you would dare to say.
Alcohol, a pinch of cherries and faint cigarette smoke were how you would describe his taste. He was gentle, maybe more gentle than you had expected him to be. His tongue dragged across your lips without going any further, teasing you and almost making you beg for more. He wasn't running out of breath but you were, letting out small whines while you tugged at the neck of his black t-shirt.
Only then, he interrupted the kiss by sinking his teeth on your lower lip and softly pulling at them, earning a sweet hiss from you.
"Should I go next?" Chan softly joked as he stood up from his seat, walking towards the available space of bed right next to you and sliding his hand up your naked thigh. Your parted lips found him immediately, but he remained in his position without going in for a kiss. "But first, you have to promise us something."
"Anything," you whispered out of breath, both men smiling proudly at how eager you were to have your way with them.
"If you don't feel comfortable with something, you have to tell us," Chan warned, his eyes glued to the way your lips were inviting him to devour them.
Easy task. You nodded almost automatically, knowing that the odds of wanting them to stop were minimum to zero.
"Contrary to that, if there's something that you want, you will have to beg for it", he cooed, a faint smirk appearing on the corner of his lips as he saw the nervousness in your face, "promise?"
You let out a jittery laugh, feeling your accelerated heartbeats in the deepest parts of your throat, "it's embarrassing".
"It is not," Changbin intervened, his breath caressing the crook of your neck and making your eyes close for a quick second, "we will do anything you ask us to”.
"What do you get from it?" you questioned softly, your mind dizzy from both confusion and arousal.
"Do you want me to kiss you?" Chan asked, tilting his head and brushing your lips with his, completely ignoring your question.
"Yes," you whispered, your heartbeats going at a mile per hour. Chan smiled against your lips without going any further, trying to give you the clue that you were not following one of his rules, "please Chan, kiss me".
Only then you felt his hand wrapping around your wrist, guiding it towards his lap. He soon placed it on top of his hardened bulge without a warning, his hips moving ever so slightly against the palm of your hand. "Do you see what you can cause if you beg nicely for us?" his hoarse voice inquired and you nodded almost automatically, both of your eyes probably opened like plates at his grittiness, “good”.
He then gave you what you were wishing for so long, his plump lips moving against yours at a much slower pace than you had expected from him. It was almost as if he wanted to taste every inch of your lips that were mixed with your own taste and Changbin's.
Unexpectedly, Changbin's hand caressed the skin on your thighs making you tremble against their bodies, Chan's lips drowning one of many pathetic whines that were urging to leave your mouth. Changbin dragged his touch further, lifting the fabric of your oversized t-shirt and finding the pleasant surprise of your pink, laced panties.
"You wore this for us?" he asked against your ear, the sound of his voice and breathing sending shivers down your spine, "you should've thought about it twice because i'm going to rip it off of you”.
Another chill traveled throughout your body and your skin got covered in goosebumps, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the black-haired one. "You get turned on by words easily," he hummed, nibbling at the skin of your neck, "I'll remember that".
Chan broke the kiss to grasp for some air, the eyes that once looked at you with fondness were now completely clouded by nothing but lust.
Changbin continued on kissing and biting your neck, that only contributed to the wet patch between your legs becoming way noticeable as Chan's fingertips threatened to make contact with your underwear, the fear of being exposed making you dwell in embarrassment.
"Now, tell us," Chan requested while his fingers reached for the skin of your inner thighs, "why did you change your mind?"
"I-" you tried to give an answer but Changbin's lips attached to your neck and Chan's touch lingering in between your legs were making the simple task feel ten times harder, "I was curious".
"That’s it?" Changbin asked, dragging his tongue along your skin and making you squirm under him, "I know there's something you are not telling us, princess".
And he was right.
But how were you supposed to tell them that, even long before knowing that they were sexually attracted to you, you fantasized about them every single night?
Even when you were in a relationship.
"I like you two too," you mumbled in between sighs, fearing that Chan's playful smirk meant that he knew exactly what was going on in your perverted mind, "I thought about you as well".
"And what is it that you thought?" Chan questioned, his digits making the desired contact against your clothed core making you part your legs ever so slightly for them, "you can tell us, we know how to keep secrets". Even though the sentence was rather sweet, the hidden meaning behind it increased the tension on your lower abdomen, "after all, we are your best friends, right?".
"I thought about how good you two could make me feel," you whispered, Changbin's figure withdrawing from your neck and fixing your gaze on the masterpieces he had created on it, your skin now decorated with red bruises along it, "I thought about your fingers, often".
Changbin let out a soft laugh, the tip of his digits dragging along your t-shirt and clothed breasts only to end up brushing his thumb against your mouth, "show me how much you have thought about them, then".
With a curious look, you wrapped your lips around his digits without breaking eye contact. You sucked on them slowly, unsure if that was the action he was expecting from you. But, when he let out a soft groan, you understood that you were on the right path.
"Is this what you dreamt about, princess?" he questioned, pushing his fingers deep inside you as you nodded eagerly.
While you were too focused on Changbin's task, you didn't notice how Chan was lifting up your t-shirt to expose more of your thighs and underwear, the wet patch now becoming completely visible for him. He gently caressed your lower abdomen and made its way to your clothed slit, dragging one finger in circular motions and earning a sudden sigh out of you that was repressed by Changbin's digits.
"What was that, baby?" Chan scoffed, impressed by how sensitive you were.
Changbin took his fingers out of your mouth as Chan slid your panties to the side, licking his lips at the sight of how wet you were.
For a moment, you felt shy. Exposed.
You wanted to close your legs and tell them that you didn't think the whole thing through but Chan's voice was what took you out of those intrusive thoughts.
"You are beautiful," he hummed, his heavy breathing ringing into your ears, "so fucking pretty".
You swallowed hard at his compliments, the skin on your whole body heating up in shyness as you got used to your best friends praising you in that way.
Changbin's digits turned your chin to face him, placing his index and middle fingers in front of your lips as a mischievous smile appeared on his face.
"Tell Chan how bad you need him to touch you," he ordered, his eyes fixed on the way your lips parted almost instinctively as he brushed them against your lips.
"Chan-" you tried to speak, but your breath got caught up in your throat too soon, "please-".
"Tell him exactly what you want," the dark-haired spoke again.
Your gaze turned to Chan who was sitting on the opposite side as Changbin, his fingers swirling around the skin of your thighs without actually making contact where you needed him the most.
"Will you touch me, Chan?" you queried, the way your eyes looked at him sending a pinch of electricity to his already hardened erection, "please".
He smiled at your words and, almost immediately, followed your request. Your whole body trembled against them due to the unfamiliar feeling of having someone else other than you touching you like that.
"What else does our princess need?" Changbin cooed, forcing you to face him once again.
"Your fingers," you sighed, trying hard to maintain eye contact as Chan rubbed your clit painfully slowly, "can I please suck on them?".
It was the way you politely asked and not really begged that had them over the edge. It sounded filthier, more humiliating, they would say.
Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside your mouth and, as he pounded them deeper, a loud moan from you that was caught around his digits sent waves of pleasure throughout the whole body.
"Suck them properly," he commanded, admiring how your head acquired a pace of its own as you gag on them, "I’m fucking your pretty pussy with them".
Chan's digits kept on teasing your clit, your hips instinctively moving against them while you tried to intensify the feeling.
"Right there, princess," he cooed, smiling at how your body was more than ready to be fucked, "you are behaving so well".
Changbin's fingers went in deeper, making you gag and drool all over them. Judged by the way he was watching you, you would dare to say that he loved it. He loved how messy you looked, with your innocent gaze fixed on him and your chin completely covered with your own saliva.
"Baby," Chan hummed, leaving kisses on your shoulders and clavicles while he made your way to your ear, "do you think you are ready to take our fingers?"
Pulling away from Changbin's digits you nodded eagerly, the sinful scene of your teary eyes and drooling mouth was enough for the both of them to cum right then and there, completely in love by the ruined image of their beautiful best friend.
"I need them inside me," you whispered, "please fuck them inside me".
Changbin lost no time into guiding his hand all over your wet cunt, the digits that were previously fucking your mouth now grazing against your hole and threatening to force themselves into it.
"Are you always this wet when you think of us?" Chan queried, looking at how his bedsheets were now stained with your own juices.
"I am," you admitted, placing your head on his chest while he held you tight against him, "I am always so wet".
Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside you knowing that, with how wet you were and how good you had lubricated his fingers, the feeling was going to be everything but painful.
"Fuck-" you hissed, moving your hips unexpectedly and feeling that foreign tension on your lower back, "God-".
"Do you want to know a secret?" Chan asked, admiring your face of pure bliss as Changbin's fingers fucked your cunt and his palm rubbed against your swollen clit. You weakly nodded. "We often talked about you, me and him," he sighed, "we wondered how many times you had been walking around the apartment with your underwear drenched or how many times you had touched yourself in your room while we were sleeping".
"She is dripping wet," Changbin hummed, his lips approaching one of your ears, "I bet it would be so easy to just bend her over any surface of the apartment and put our cocks inside her pretty pussy, don't you think so?"
"Fuck yes," you whined, your vision getting clouded with each of Changbin's movements, “it would be so easy for you two to have me whenever you please".
"Only for us?" Chan scoffed, your words having the desired effect on him as his bulge grew harder and harder, "you are adorable".
Both of your hands traveled to their laps, your right one on Changbin's and your left one on Chan's. Shyly, you started palming them through their clothes, earning a faint laugh from Changbin who was still working on your cunt.
"Tell us what you want, princess," he cooed, "we might give you permission if you use your words."
As soon as you were about to speak, Chan's digits replaced Changbin's palm and continued on rubbing your clit while the dark-haired fucked you at a rougher pace, the soft moans becoming louder and louder as the seconds passed by.
"Please, let me touch you," you whined, moving frantically against their hands, "I want to touch you too".
"Go on," he allowed, his voice becoming lower as your timid hands palmed him through the thin fabric of his shorts.
And without losing any more time, you snuck your hands under their clothes, being welcomed by the warmth of their skins as your hands wrapped around their lengths.
However, you were rather impressed by what you found underneath those clothes.
"Don't be scared," Chan murmured as he noticed your countenance, "we will make them fit”.
You cursed again at his words, the tension on your lower back increasing as well as the frantic movements of your hands around them.
They couldn't help themselves but let out small grunts and sighs as you jerked them off, pulling down their clothes to give you even more access to their cocks.
Moving your hands up and down, the movements soon started to become sloppier and messier, your eyes started to roll to the back of your head and incoherent words and mumbles were escaping your lips as an unfamiliar feeling took control over you.
"You are clenching so fucking hard around me," Changbin groaned, increasing the pace of his digits, "does that feel good, princess?"
"Fuck yes," you sighed, the overwhelming feeling causing tears to prick into the corner of your eyes, "don't stop, don't stop, don't stop".
"You look so pretty like this," Chan praised, his hot breath tickling against your cheek, "all desperate and needy".
"Faster," you cried, moving your hips in circular motions against them, "please touch me faster".
And as good, compassionate best friends they were, the two of them followed your pleas. You knew that it wasn't going to take you long to reach your climax and, with all honesty, you could say that this was something you had never experienced before.
Maybe because of it you looked too desperate and eager in front of them, moving your hips frantically and trembling between their bodies as you reached your high.
The sight was something they would never forget, feeling the way your hand squeezed their cocks with roughnes as you cried and rode your orgasm.
"Aren't you such a dirty princess?" Changbin groaned, still fucking you at the same pace just when you were reaching the highest point of your climax and forcing both of your legs open, "coming for the first time in no other than your best friend's bed".
"Oh, God," you cried, biting your lower lip while your body was still shaking.
"Don't close them just yet, baby" Chan mumbled, his digits collecting all of your juices while he held you in place, "don't you want to taste yourself?"
You whined at the faint overstimulation from Chan's digits dragging along your slit, getting completely coated by your arousal. They made their way to your lips and you were quick to clean them up completely, bopping your head and drooling all over them.
Soon, the weight on the bed from your right side shifted as Changbin's figure stood up from his seat. Lowering his shorts and underwear completely, his cock was now at full disposal to you.
And God, was he big.
"Come here," he demanded, signaling for you to kneel right in front of him, "show me what you've thought about me”.
You had given blowjobs before, countless times, but your ex boyfriend was nowhere near to what you had in front of you. Your mind drifted away as it thought about his thick girth filling you up, making you cry both in pain and pleasure but, soon, those trails of thoughts were interrupted when Chan's figure came into the picture.
"We will be gentle," Chan hissed, placing his hand on the back of your head and guiding you all the way to his hardened length,
Starting off with kitty licks, you dragged your tongue along the tip of Chan's cock. He let out a soft moan that only encouraged you to explore further, taking the head inside of your warm mouth as your hand reached out for Changbin's length.
"Jerk him off while I fuck your mouth, do you think you can do that?" you nodded against his cock, "if I get too rough, squeeze my thigh and I will stop".
You nodded once again, feeling how his hands pushed you deeper into his length. You were not really trained to take him, but you were determined to prove to them that you deserved to be fucked.
"All the way in," he hissed, hearing how you struggled to prevent yourself from gagging, "don't hold back, baby, let me hear you choking on my cock".
Relaxing your throat for a bit, you were able to take more of him. Squeezing Changbin's cock everytime Chan's length reached a deeper spot inside your mouth, he couldn't stop himself from letting out grunts and groans each time.
"My turn," Changbin hissed, one of his hands gripping your hair in a ponytail and guiding your face towards his length. With drool all over your chin, and letting out small coughs, you took Changbin's cock inside as if you were an expert on it. Now, your opposite hand reached out for Chan's length as you stroked himself with your own saliva.
"You are doing a great job," Changbin praised, closing his eyes and slamming his hips slowly against your mouth, "taking two cocks at the same time".
From then on, you started acquiring a pace of your own while sucking them off. Having one of their cocks inside of your mouth while stroking the other one, you spent all the time you were able to before your knees started to hurt and bruise due to the material of the rug.
And even then, you didn't want to stop.
The sound of their groans and moans were turning you on more than you would've thought, your available hand always rubbing against your clit as much as you could, driving you to the edge and tightening the now familiar knot on your lower abdomen.
"You have no idea how many times we fantasized about having you like this," Chan groaned, caressing your hair as he slammed his cock inside your mouth, "kneeling down in front of us with your mouth drooling and wanting to take our cocks completely".
"She is so pretty," Changbin praised, biting his lower lip as he witnessed the scene of your teary eyes and ruined face alternating between his cock and Chan's, "I wonder how much prettier she will look with all of her holes filled".
A sudden moan escaped your lips as you heard those words. Of course you knew that having sex with more than one partner was a whole different world than what you were used to, but you never got to think about the implications of it.
"Is that what you want?" Chan questioned, his eyes fixed on the way Changbin's cock disappeared in your mouth, "do you want me to fuck your pussy while he fucks your ass?"
You would be lying if you said that the idea of doing so didn't turn you on.
"It is too soon to try anal," Changbin grunted, letting out a desperate sigh as soon as you withdrew from him to take Chan's cock, "she is not ready for it".
"You think so?" the brown-haired queried, burying himself inside your warm mouth, "I am sure she can take it".
Changbin gave him a worried look, but he wasn't going to deny the fact that he was dying to fuck you from behind. He knew how tight your cunt was from earlier, when he was fucking his fingers inside of you, and he could only imagine how much tighter your ass was.
Luckily for the both of you, he always kept a bottle of lube around for those kinds of rendezvous.
Walking towards the small nightstand right next to his bed, he took out a black, small bottle that caught your whole attention as you awaited on your knees for him.
"I am going to ask you this once," he softly mumbled, caressing your hair and putting a strand of it behind your ear. "Do you really want to try this?"
You knew it was going to be painful but knowing it was them who were causing you pain only turned you even more.
"If you decide that you suddenly don't want it anymore, we will stop," Chan warned.
You stood up from the floor and walked towards the bed, removing your black t-shirt that was now ruined with drool, tears and even precum.
Chan laid down on his own bed with his hardened length inviting you to straddle over him, softly guiding your movements on the bed as he held your hand. You sat down on his lap and allowed him to continue with the task, one of his hands reaching down for the base of his cock to align it with your entrance.
"Are you feeling alright?" he asked you with his jaw clenched, dragging the tip of his cock along your slit and earning a few sighs from the both of you. You simply nodded. "It's going to hurt, but I know you can take him".
You stared at Chan for what it felt like hours, and only regained consciousness of the place and position you were in once you felt the weight of the bed shifting as Changbin positioned himself right behind you, resting one of his hands on your hip while the other one held the bottle of lube.
"I think she is ready," Changbin announced and Chan lost no time in entering you, lifting his hips ever so slightly while burying the tip of his cock inside your tight cunt.
"Oh, Go-d," you breathed, leaning down on his figure while you placed both of your arms on each side of his head.
"Take me all the way in," Chan mumbled, pressing your figure down so that his cock could reach the deepest spots in you.
And even though you weren't a virgin, you had never felt such an overwhelming sentiment like this. He was bigger than what you were used to and he tried to do it delicately but awfully failed as he surrendered to his instincts, pounding himself inside you rather harshly for a beginner but just as pleasant.
They both gave you a few minutes to get used to Chan's girth, squeezing it and clenching around it every time Changbin caressed your back and neck in an attempt to soothe you before the pain.
"She is so fucking tight around me," Chan hissed with gritted teeth, completely losing his mind over how wet and warm your pussy felt around him.
Just like he imagined it.
"How does it feel to have Chan stretching you open?" Changbin asks softly, placing a couple of wet pecks on your shoulders and neck while he lazily stroked himself with a fair amount of lube.
"It feels good," you admitted with shortness of breath, feeling dizzy on top of Chan. "I've never felt something like this before".
There was something so filthy about hearing you speak in such a manner that Changbin couldn't resist you anymore. You soon felt the palm of his hand on your lower back, pushing your body, forcing it to lean over Chan's and —once he caught the signal— wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly in place.
"Take a deep breath for me," Changbin ordered, getting even harder at the cold sensation of the lube as he poured more on him and your tightest hole. "We are going to count to three, yeah?"
Changbin always appeared to be someone tough but, it was at times like these, where you truly could appreciate such a soft side from him.
"One," he breathed and you felt Chan's arms tightening around you, his face buried on your neck and chest while he felt your body shuddering on top of his.
"Two," Changbin continued and your back unconsciously arched a bit more for him. "And three".
After the last number, you felt a numbing sensation throughout your body. Your toes curled up in pain and you tried hard to muffle the pathetic cries and whimpers but failed almost immediately.
"It hurts so much," you cried and Chan started to caress your back, feeling his heart pounding at a thousand miles per hour as he witnessed your vulnerable body on top of his.
"We know you can take us," Changbin hissed, softly pushing himself even deeper inside you. "All you have to do is get used to our cocks".
You whined and Chan hugged you even tighter, allowing you to cry over him as Changbin stretched your ass carefully. There was something so twisted about feeling your painful tears landing on his neck and chest that, for an unknown reason, riled him up even more.
"Don't move," Changbin ordered and you did as you were told, your hands gripping the bed sheets harshly while you tried your best to overcome the painful –but pleasant– feeling of having them both inside you. "I want to feel you".
Chan's hands traveled from your waist to your back, caressing it while trying to soothe the pain. You spent a good minute or two with your eyes closed, the only audible thing in the room were your cries and their heavy breathing.
"You think you are ready?" Chan asks you softly, leaving soft kisses on your breasts while still having his arms wrapped around your body.
"I think I am," you finally whispered after a few silent seconds, feeling your arms trembling in fear while still being able to hold your whole weight on top of Chan.
Changbin was the first one to move, slowly withdrawing himself from you only to thrust his cock again, making you cry in pain.
"You are doing such a good job," Chan praised, one of his hands reaching out to try the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. "It's just a little bit of pain, I am sure you can take it".
Changbin continued training you, softly pushing his cock inside you while trying to get you used to his girth. The pain never really went away, but the sudden sentiment of pleasure was quick to appear in the equation and, with that, it was ten times more bearable.
"Go on," Changbin hissed, trying his best to control himself. "She can take you now".
Chan lifted his hips slightly and almost came when he saw your grimaces of pleasure and pain, his cock throbbing at the sight of your furrowed eyebrows and teary eyes getting completely lost.
"Am I hurting you?" Chan asked you and you weakly shook your head, unable to focus on him —or anything, for that matter— because of the overwhelming sensations.
And as soon as they were sure you were alright, they started to acquire a pace of their own. They were going slow, much more slower than they would prefer, but it was still pleasant nonetheless.
Chan's lips captured your hardened nipples and, if anything, that single action made everything way more enjoyable. The cries and whines were soon replaced with moans and whimpers, and the gentle movements lost their softness once they both felt you were ready for a bit more.
"I don't think I am going to last long," Chan admitted between sighs, feeling his cock throbbing inside you.
Changbin was on the same page, but they both wanted to give you one more orgasm before their own. One of his hands traveled to your swollen clit and, while they both fucked your holes, he tried to mantain a steady pace while rubbing it.
"Oh my f- God," you moaned, both of your eyes opening like plates once you felt your body jolting at Changbin's touch. "It feels-".
You couldn't describe it, but they both knew what you meant by the way your holes clenched around them.
"You are dripping wet," Changbin whispered, coating his digits with your fluids while trying his best to get you to the promising orgasm. "You think you can come one more time for us?"
You didn't have time to reply when your eyes were already rolling at the back of your head and your arms started to tremble, threatening to lose any strength that was still left in them.
"God," you whispered again, parting your lips and looking like a complete mess for the both of them. "There, right there-".
Changbin increased his pace and it was only a matter of seconds before Chan started to feel your walls tightening around him almost aggressively. He closed his eyes and groaned under his breath, trying his best not to come just yet.
He wasn't wearing a condom and coming inside was definitely not an option —but God, how he wished it was.
"Just like that," Changbin praised while admiring your body shaking instinctively, his hips slamming against yours softly while you were still trying to overcome your high.
"You are making me lose my mind," Chan whispered as he saw your face, feeling completely vulnerable at the sight of your glossy eyes and parted lips. "It isn't fair to have you around and not be able to do this as much as I want".
Your arms lost all their strength and you inevitably fell on top of Chan's body, crying as you felt the overstimulation washing up on you.
"I'm not going to last long either," Changbin hissed and, with a swift movement, pulled out of you. You whined at the sentiment of emptiness, but it was also a relief.
Chan lifted your hips too and followed his best friend's actions, leaving you completely empty and a sobbing mess.
"Where do you want us?" Chan asked, caressing your cheek and pushing a strand of hair away from your face.
"Wherever you both want to," you replied with shortness of breath and feeling a bit dizzy.
Of course they both wanted to finish inside you, but it was definitely not a good idea.
At least not tonight.
So Chan looked at Changbin and he did the same, almost as if they didn't need words to communicate with each other.
"Get on your knees," Changbin ordered and Chan smiled, recalling one of those times where they talked about how pretty you were and how much each fantasized about coming on your face.
She would look even prettier, Chan had said.
You followed their instructions and kneeled in front of Chan's bed, patiently waiting for them to approach your figure.
They both stood in front of you, stroking their cocks with their gazes fixed on your face. Changbin's hand even gripped your hair a bit harshly, setting you closer to them and in place so they could finish on your face.
"Stick your tongue out, baby," Chan panted, increasing the movement of his wrist on his cock.
You soon felt his arousal landing on your cheek, tongue and chin while a series of curses and groans left his lips. Changbin, once he saw the filthy image of you covered in his friend's semen, came next. With him, it was way more messier: tongue, chin, lips, cheek and forehead.
You swallowed their cum proudly, feeling as if it was some sort of reward for being able to take all the things they had chosen to give you that night. And they both admired the scene in awe, feeling their softening cocks twitching at the sight.
"You both taste good," you murmured, still kneeling in front of them. "I never thought I would like it".
Chan caressed your hair softly while Changbin's digits lifted your chin just so they could both catch a better glimpse of your face covered in cum —one of their biggest fantasies.
"Perhaps we should play the game again," Changbin mumbled, collecting some of their semen with his thumb only to push it inside your parted lips. "And see if your bottle of soju is still full after we are done".
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FLORIDA TRANS PALS, IT IS TIME TO PLAN
Especially if you are on HRT!
HB1421 is a bill that severely affects access to gender affirming care, including for adults. It outlines goals to:
1) Prohibit changing gender markers on birth certificates
2) Require that gender affirming care only come from physicians (not nurse practioners) who take on liability insurance for 30 YEARS after they provide care to a patient
3) Require informed consent forms at every single appointment, including distributing literature to dissuade patients
4) Ban transition care completely for minors
5) Make it so providers who accept state funds cannot provide gender affirming services (this is the big one that stands to affect anyone who takes medicare/aid, is a university, etc.).
6) Make it so providers who accept state funds cannot reimburse for gender affirming services.
We are facing a return to the Harry Benjamin days, or worse, an effective ban unless you are fortunate/wealthy enough to find a willing provider.
If it passes, this bill would take effect July 1, 2023. That is not a lot of time.
I would not count on any Rx or refill request to be honored after this date if the prescribing and dispensing sources no longer are allowed to grant care or decide to drop care because of the penalties.
July 1, 2023. Unless we hear otherwise, that is your clock.
This sucks, but there is comfort in seeing a clear date to plan around and the worst case is no longer completely unknown. It begins July 1.
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YOUR HOMEWORK, DUE ASAP:
--------------------------------------------
1) Get any and all your HRT appointments in now, including picking up your meds and doing bloodwork promptly.
2) If you think you will be living in FL come July, start looking now for providers where physicians - not NPs - provide the care. Get an appointment on the books for July. Be prepared to go in person for everything after July 1, because I believe telemed will also be shit-canned. Here is a map of informed consent providers.
3) If you are an old like me, also dig up your HRT permission slip from your therapist. Fuck, make a packet of all your transition documents, including Rx history.
4) If you are on private insurance, start budgeting now to prepare to pay out of pocket.
5) Create a simple spreadsheet of all your HRT dates (pls forgive, my experience is with shots on a 2 week cycle, so this is pretty easy for me to do) and plan out how long your current supply will last. Then, forecast how long all your upcoming refills before July 1 will last. Update it every time you pick up and take your meds. Refer to it for decisions like moving or finding backup providers.
6) Subscribe to the bill to get notified of changes asap
7) Follow this site to keep tabs on other very scary bills happening in Florida, including a bathroom ban and a child custody bill that is effectively kidnapping
8) If you need to change your birth certificate, do it now, pay the rush fees and write RUSH on the envelope. The Department of Health has the most up-to-date forms. Processing time for rush I last saw was around 18 business days.
9) Now that your own oxygen mask is on, so they say, boost mutual aid and recruit allies to assist in any way possible.
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Do try to continue seeing your current provider as long as possible, as they likely will need your support. Talk to them frankly about their plans if the bill passes.
Now. I am just a little guy and not a legal expert, but the aggressive enactment date on this bill makes me feel like everyone should plan now instead of waiting to see if it passes.
Be safe, plan, and then get a little rest. Do not lose hope - this bill could still fail.
#trans stuff#I have been ringing this alarm bell since 2016 and the pace of shit happening is getting really scary#trans#transgender#hb1421
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Not That Kind of Guy
Part Five: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series
Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship, arm/hand kink, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, suicide/death metaphor[Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]
Info: Anakin is and always will be the most romantic man to exist, that is all. Psycho!Stalker!Ani loves counting idk he just does & I know it.[diary entries from Ani] [texts from Luke] extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+
Diary Entry: July 8th
You’d better be glad I’m patient, or else you’d have another dead neighbor.
When I heard the *wwoop* of your phone sending out a text on my computer I didn’t check it immediately. Until I heard four *pings* in quick succession.
‘Lukey, call me.’
‘Why?’
‘I’m in class.’
‘10 mins’
‘Or emergency?’
Remember how I said I like Luke? I like him a little bit less. Who texts like that… just write a sentence like a normal person. One sentence.
‘emergency!!’
Emergency? The panic that flooded my veins was icy-hot as I frantically pulled up a the live feed of your home and blasted the volume.
Nothing.
You were just sitting on the couch snacking on those Extra Toasty Cheezits that you love so much. (Cheezits was a marketing genius for that though, profiting off burnt ones because little weirdos like you lived for that one random burnt piece at the bottom of the bag. Goofy girl.)
That doesn’t seem very ‘emergency!!’ to me. Unless you’ve run out of Cheezits, but you haven’t. I would know.
I chewed my nails, paced the floor, and wrung out my hands. I couldn’t just walk over there and say ‘Hey! Just wanted to make sure you’re okay cause I cloned your phone and saw a concerning text! How can I help?’.
You seemed fine, you weren’t crying, you didn’t look upset. You just started scrolling through Instagram reels and rapid-fire sending them to your sister as if she’d actually watch them all. We all know she won’t, but if you ask she’ll say she did.
‘step out. emergency!!’
‘no, give me 4. it can wait.’
Jesus Luke, are you trying to make me dislike you? I can’t believe you’d make her wait like that. The girl said it’s an emergency. That means pick up the fucking phone, dial her fucking number and say ‘I’m on my way, what’s going on?’
Drop everything and fucking run. I’d jump from a moving train if I got that text from you. Train station who? I have two legs and I can run pretty fast as long as I have the right motivation.
Pass a kid on a bike? ‘Scuse me I’m commandeering this vehicle.’ I’d be the fucking flash with pink tassels and purple glow wheels.
‘Now!!’
The suspense was literally killing me. I was withering away with worry.
‘if it’s the guy again I swear to god.’
Guy? What guy? What had I missed? There was a guy in your life that wasn’t me?
‘just fucking call me.’
Yeah, you heard the girl. Fucking call her already.
“No he did not.” Luke scoffed, as if what you’d told him was the most ridiculous thing he’d heard in ages.
“I swear. I swear he did!” You giggled folding over on the couch.
“There’s no way a straight man did that for you and didn’t try to fuck.” Luke laughed. “I don’t believe you. You’re delusional.”
“I am not!” You defended, not actually hurt by his comment but wanting to prove him wrong anyway.
“I literally don’t believe you.” He let out a snort and whispered something to Han on the other end of the line. “Han said he’s still set on Ben for you.”
“I told you I am not interested. There’s a reason I never texted him!” You retorted.
“Yeah because you lost his number you pea-brain.” He teased.
“No.” You said with a slightly haughty tone. “I happen to believe it was just the universe telling me it wasn’t meant to be.”
“That’s a really good justification for loosing his number.” Han’s voice came through the speaker slightly muffled from his distance.
“Shut up both of you. You’re horrible.” You laughed. “I’m sticking to it. The universe said no and I’m no match for the powers that be, m’kay?”
“Sure babes.” Luke said, you could almost hear his stupid little smirk.
“Anyway. Yes, look I’ll send you a picture of the book okay?” You hopped up quickly and snapped a picture to send to Luke’s phone. “Cause I can’t exactly send you a picture of him helping me with my groceries.”
“Mmhmm I know because it didn’t happen.” Luke said flatly. “Hard to get a picture of a hallucination.”
You rolled your eyes and huffed, Luke was just being protective. It’s not like he was wrong, most men wouldn’t do something like that out of the kindness of their heart.
“This would be so much easier if you had an iPhone. You might be hideous but I still miss your face.” You teased, hearing Han’s booming laugh in the background.
“Whatever.” Luke grumbled, “okay, so what am I looking at here?”
“See it’s this collection of paper that has typed out wo-“
“Smartass. I mean: what’s so… cool? about it?” He interrupted.
“It’s a special edition. $50. He just gave me a special edition book without a second thought.” You said excitedly. “Remember I lost my copy not too long ago?”
“Mmm yeah I think I remember.” He said noncommittally. “You should really keep up with your shit.”
“Hey I’m doing better!” You retorted. “My life is so put together right now. You’d be amazed.”
“Delusional Han I’m telling you.” He snickered quietly.
“Oh my god! Have you no faith in me at all?” You scoffed. “I haven’t forgotten to charge my phone or take my medicine. I’ve kept everything tidy. All my important stuff stays in my bag.”
“You’ve been possessed.” Luke gasped.
“Fuck. If I have then I’ve got the sweetest demon the 7th circle could provide.” You joked. “I’ve even been sleeping better, I think maybe even boogie is happier too. She’s started sitting at the living room window to watch the pigeons again.”
“Aw, my niece.” He crooned. “My *favorite* niece.”
“What about leia’s new-“
“I said what I said.” Luke interrupted.
Diary Entry: July 8th
The way you gushed about me on the phone was everything I could’ve asked for and more. I’ve never been so fucking proud of myself. I feel like I could… I don’t know lift a fucking car or something. I feel good. This is a good feeling, to be appreciated like this.
I want you to know how happy you’ve made me today.
To hear your voice, see your face, watch your body language as you spoke about how we met and our little chat today. I could live off purely that for days. Your giggle is nourishment for my soul, your voice is honey to drink with my tea, your beauty is the sugar in the much-to-big spoon I’d use to stir it with.
That’s what life with you would be like. Tea time. It’s soft, I always think of tea time as being soft; a big blanket of comfort and security. I just feel like it’s the perfect metaphor.
You are the ingredients. The tea leaves, honey, sugar, and water.
I am the the cup and life, fate, whatever it may be, is the spoon.
Can you use all of those things separately? Sure. But would it make much sense to pour hot water on a pile of dry leaves, drizzle some honey and sprinkle sugar into a goopy puddle right on the kitchen counter?
Would it be enjoyable to drink air from a small cup and leave the spoon lonely and unused?
No.
You need me to hold you; you are so many things. All of them are perfect and all of them are uniquely you. But when joined together in a secure little cup you’ll have the opportunity to mesh those things into something new.
A cup is just a cup if there’s nothing in it. Cold and empty ceramic. Sturdy and reliable although delicate when handled irresponsibly.
Fill me with you. All of you.
You’ve already started that you know? Each tea leaf is a tidbit of you.
Your likes and dislikes. Your happiest memories and even your sad ones, your angry moments, your bad days. I love and cherish even the deepest caverns and widest chasms in your beautiful mind. Without them, you wouldn’t be you.
Please believe me when I say that even if the leaves are crumpled or incomplete… it doesn’t mean that they won’t make tea.
Honey, my favorite. Your personality. God you’re so fucking sweet it hurts. Your voice, those lovely lips that speak such well written poetry.
My love, everything you say is a hymn.
I wasn’t a religious man before you. My Goddess, I fall to my knees at the altar for you. Speak to me and you’ll sing to my very soul. Tell me truth, tell me lies, tell me those things that float through the nether. I’ll take it all as gospel.
Ask of me anything and I will spill blood, even if it is my own, to provide you with whatever you wish.
I never understood why honey was akin to the nectar of the gods until I met you.
Now I understand. To taste you is to taste life. To smell you is to breathe freely. To feel you is to be soothed.
Sugar. Do you know how many grains of sugar are in the average tablespoon? Around 60,000. The human eye processes visuals at the average rate of 13 milliseconds per image. Even faster if presented with an image that invokes emotion. Though for the purposes of math, we will go with 13 milliseconds.
13 milliseconds is about 75 frames per second. 60 seconds in one minute. 4,500 frames.
If the average tablespoon holds 60,000 grains of sugar that’s 270,000,000 frames per second.
4,500,000 minutes. 75,000 hours. 3,125 days. About 102 months. Alittle over 8 years.
I use 3 tablespoons of sugar per cup of tea.
That means by our 25 anniversary I will have been graced with every grain of your beauty.
By then I’ll probably need a few more spoonfuls if I plan to survive raising children with you. If they’re as hyperactive as you get sometimes I’ll fucking need it.
Oh well. Just more time for me to bask in your beauty.
All these things have filled me, your cup. All that I need now is water. Your love.
The kind of love that burns so hot that it bubbles up beneath your skin and makes you itch if you’re apart for too long.
That’s what happens when water boils, the atoms separate and bounce around until they come back together as the water cools.
Just like us.
I’m the flame that’s heating your water, the closer I get the hotter it’ll grow until it’s rattling the kettle, screaming to be let out and bring all the pieces together.
Adding that boiling water, your love. It will bring life to me. You’ll warm the cold ceramic shell that I’ve been for so long. Fragile and lonely and horribly handled. I might have a few chips but the foundation is strong and worthy.
A cup is just a cup if there’s nothing in it.
You give me purpose. You make me useful.
I will let our love steep. Let it steep, because you can’t make tea without all the ingredients and a water-worthy cup.
We will stir it and stir it and stir it until the the hand of fate declares us ready, I will be there for you at the *clink* of the spoon against my rim.
I will be there after to hold you until the very last sip.
I will be there until I am broken beyond repair.
If the last sip happens before my ceramic cracks… I will be quick to join you after slipping through the hands of fate.
It’s a long winded way to say that I love you, but if you wanted, I would memorize it and recite it for you every night before drift to sleep.
Diary Entry: July 12th
You’re so cute.
I don’t know how you haven’t noticed that your laundry detergent should’ve run out ages ago. I giggle like a school girl everytime I see you at the laundromat holding it up to measure it out.
I’ve started washing my stuff in the same as you, I love the way your laundry smells.
But I love the way you smell even more.
You just bought some new sheets recently and I took the liberty of ordering the same ones. What luck that we both use a queen size bed huh? The cutesy little strawberry print isn’t exactly my style but I don’t give a shit. The giddy way you opened up your package was nothing short of adorable.
You know what else is super handy about using the same detergent?
You won’t notice when I switch them out.
You’re washing them for the first time today since you just received them in the mail yesterday. I know you’re so excited to put them on and make your pretty pink bed up, I’m amazed you had the patience to wait until today to go to the laundromat. It’s open 24/7, proud of you baby. Prioritizing that good deep sleep you’ve been getting.
You’re welcome, and thank you.
Watching you sleep from the end of the bed is one of my favorite things. It just… I don’t know it makes me feel comforted to be there. It’s the closest thing to sleeping next to you that I can get right now. Then I’ll be getting some good deep sleep.
It’s hard for me to rest if I can’t reach out and make sure you’re safe.
The audio from your room is wonderful ASMR though. Your snores and snuffles and the rustling of blankets while you sprawl out and occupy as much space as your body can manage; it’s soothing to me.
Partially because I know you’re okay, partially because I was able to give you that deep rest.
You wash your sheets once a week because you love the feeling of fresh warm linens. It’s the simple pleasures of life that bring you the most joy. That’s something I adore about you.
So here’s the plan. I’m a man of my word and I promised you a reward for all your hard work didn’t I? I’m also a man who enjoys the killing of two birds with one stone.
Life goes so much more smoothly if you take the time to line up the shot.
That’s why I immediately ordered my own set as soon as I checked your Amazon account. Mine arrived today too and I’ll be stopping by the laundromat just as you’re leaving. I’ve left them in the box and put it at the bottom of my basket though, I don’t want to ruin the surprise you know?
I’m so glad I was able to hear your little chat with your friends. Not only was it a wonderful reassurance, it also allowed me to plan our encounters more closely together. I’ve made myself known to you, I’ve spaced out our previous meetings well enough to leave you wishing you’d catch me out in the hallway even for a quick hello.
Trust me I have been dying to indulge you. But if this whole relationship has taught me anything it’s: trust the process.
See you soon princess, my timer just went off. I’ll be there just in time to watch you nuzzle your face into the last warm item of clothing from the dryer before tossing it in the basket.
Date:
July 12th
You were tossing the last of your clean laundry into the basket when the bell above the door jingled. Purely out of habit you glanced over, instead of the usual stranger or semi-familiar face, it was Anakin.
He seemed not to notice you straight away, keeping his head down and walking to the washer/dryer set closest to the front window.
It was shameful the way you took this opportunity to stare and soak him up. His whole physique just screamed at the primal parts of your brain. The parts that want you to sprint across the laundromat and l seduce him into ravaging you right up against the glass he stood near. Who cares who sees? You’d be beyond proud to be spotted in the throes of passion as long as it was him who was behind you.
The way his arms moved should be illegal. How is it possible for someone to be so… lean? The veins that and corded tendons that roll beneath his skin become even more visible as his wrist gives way to his hands.
Wide palms that would be perfect for grabbing a handful of your ass. Gripping your hips to guide you down onto what you can only assume is an equally impressive cock.
Long fingers as the most elegantly carved necklace. Fingertips that could trace swirling patterns across the vast expanse of your skin. Those same fingertips caressing the slick and swollen folds that just so happened to be in desperate need of his attention.
How could you not be a puddle of a person when he locks eyes with you like that? Like he’s reading the transcript of your soul, his eyes never stayed in one place too long. He needed to take in as much of you as possible each and everytime he was in your company.
How could you not forget how to speak when he walks over to you with such confidence? His towering frame would be intimidating if he didn’t radiate comfort. He seemed like he knew he had that affect on you, or maybe he was just one of those clueless types. That special kind of man who doesn’t realize what a catch they are.
“What’s up sweet girl?” He asked with that same gritty tone that had you feigning for him in ways he’d find unholy.
“Hey Anakin.” You managed to tone down the smile that instantly spread across your face. “I was just about to leave…”
“Well isn’t that a shame.” He chuckled, his eyes darting from your lips to your eyes and back again before he looked up and away. Stretching his arm up behind his head to rub his neck.
“Hmm yeah it is.” You murmured, too distracted by the tiny sliver of skin and dark hair the peaked out from beneath the hem of his shirt.
“Eyes up baby.” He teased, his finger tapping the underside of your chin before you could even register his hand was coming toward you.
‘Jesus Christ.’
If he can make your knees this weak from a few words… it’s almost concerning to think of the state you’d be in after he rearranges your guts.
The blush on your cheeks could’ve been mistaken for a sunburn, never had you felt so fucking embarrassed and flustered at the same time. You couldn’t even be mad.
“Let me help, yeah?” He said, choosing to glaze over your blatant staring and not push it farther with the teasing comments.
Truly a gentleman.
“Oh! Yeah, yeah.” You nodded. “Thanks.”
You managed a soft smile as your brain attempted to rewire itself into working condition again. He closed the dryer and placed your detergent and fabric softener beads into your basket and carried them over to his washer/dryer combo, expecting you to follow.
He sat it down near one of the many metal folding chairs lining the wall and turned to you again, his expression one of concern? Worry? Apprehension?
“You okay sweetheart?” He asked gently. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”
“What?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing. “Uncomfortable? No, no.” You shook your head in realization that he must’ve assumed he’d struck a nerve with his flirtatious comment.
“You sure?” He asked.
Somehow his hands, those strong hands that you just knew would feel like heaven on your skin, had made their way to your biceps. Slowly traveling the length of your forearm to hold both of your hands in his, your fingers curved over his while his thumb rubbed your knuckles.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” You nodded, shooting him a bashful smile.
His eyes searched your face like he was scanning for even the most minuscule change in expression, any twitch of your lip or shift in your line of sight that might say otherwise. When he was sure you were being truthful he spoke again.
“Alright princess,” he conceded with a warm tone. “you sticking around or headed out?”
“I’d stay to chat for a bit if I could, but I’ve gotta clock-in, in about… 45mins.” You said, thankful for the change in subject.
Anakin never failed to both confuse and amaze you. Every fucking time you spoke to him. You were tired of telling yourself he was just too damn good to be true, fuck it, he is that good.
In all your years, you’d never had a man check-in with you like that and in such a caring and considerate way… you couldn’t have dreamed up a man like this. It was a small detail of his character, but it made a world of a difference.
If you would’ve said ‘yes, that made me uncomfortable.’ you had no doubt in your mind that he would apologize and mean it. He’d mean it, apologize with his whole chest and make sure that it never ever happened again.
That was the kind of comfort and security that only a fictional love could provide.
But here he is.
In the flesh.
Maybe hearing about this, Luke might change his mind. Luke was only doing his job as your best friend and protector, shielding you from the dangers of the average Brad that you’d dated in the past. But…
Anakin’s not that kinda guy.
“You know, I don’t think you’ve ever told me where you work.” Anakin pointed out.
“Huh, I guess I haven’t.” You realized. “Bluebird Diner. It’s a good place to eat, yummy pie.”
“Oh yeah I’ve been there before!” Anakin said happily, “that butterscotch pie is so good, oh my god.”
“Right?” You agreed excitedly. “That’s my favorite. I’ll have to tell Rosa that she’s getting compliments on it. She’ll be thrilled.”
“Maybe I’ll grab a slice later.” Anakin suggested. “Before I have to go clock-in.”
“Where do you work?” You asked, finding it a bit comical that you were drooling over him but didn’t even know this basic detail of his life.
“The Cerulean.” Anakin nodded toward the window. “Just a couple blocks from here.”
“The Cerulean? What do you do, bartend?” You asked, curious as alittle itch in the back of your mind needed to be scratched.
“Mhm, I do.” He smiled.
“I think… oh my god. I think I’ve seen you there before!” You laughed. “It was a while back but I was there with some friends… you made my drink!”
“Really?” Anakin laughed. “Shit don’t make me feel bad baby, I don’t remember that.”
“I didn’t expect you too.” You giggled. “The place was packed. I can’t imagine how many people you serve a night.”
“You’ve got no idea.” He blew out a puff of air, with a chuckle.
“Well I’m due for a night out soon,” you said with a grin. “You come grab some pie later and I’ll come get a drink from you tomorrow night.”
“Sounds like a deal princess.” He beamed.
Part Six
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#star wars anakin#anakin skywalker#anakin smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#star wars#anakin x you#sw anakin#darth vader#darth vader smut#darth vader x you#darth vader x reader#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen#anakin imagine#anakin skywalker x reader smut#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin fanfiction#anakin#anakin skywalker x you#stalker!anakin#star wars x reader#starwars fandom#star wars fanfiction#james kelly
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Regardless of whether anyone actually reads this, I need to show appreciation for the writing, blocking, and editing of the last scene of 3x03, “Forces of Nature.”
Recently, I noticed that the LW line “this author is captivated” was very specifically placed over a shot of Colin and I knew it was intentionally done to convey the double meaning of the narration being about her and him.
Since then, I’ve realized that the same thing is happening throughout that entire LW narration. And it is fucking BRILLIANT.
So, first of all, this is the transcript of the narration:
“This author believes that all of man’s greatest inventions are nothing more than a distraction from what is most natural to us. Our instincts. The innate animal impulse that is inside even the most sophisticated of us. For when all is said and done, our nature will always win out. It seems Lord Debling’s instinct has led this man of nature to the most surprising pick of the season in Miss Penelope Featherington. Suffice it to say, this author is captivated. For in the battle between man and nature, it is quite clear that the battle is in fact between man and himself.”
Now I’m going to break it down with captioned stills so that you can see which words line up with which frames and I’ll explain what I believe it all means.
“This author” - When it’s first said, it’s on Pen. The second time it’s on Colin. I think there are several meanings here. Firstly, she’s Whistledown and she’s published. He will be, assuming he publishes his travel journals or whatever. Secondly, I think it highlights how they will be united, in the Whistledown storyline along with everything else. There’s a third meaning, but I’m going to get back to it later, once we get to the second use of “this author.”
This is the Innovations Ball, so on the surface, LW is speaking about man-made technology versus the natural world. But with the introduction of “man,” the shot immediately cuts to Colin, so the second layer of the narration is about him. All of Colin’s invented personality traits are a cover, hiding his true self- his sensitivity and his feelings for Pen. Obviously, this echoes what she wrote about him in 3x01, but it’s different. The context is the same, but this time, she’s not speaking directly about him, and really, she may very well not be thinking about him at all in writing it. After all, she still doesn’t know about his feelings for her. But we know. And the feeling of what she’s saying this time is less jarring; more, fittingly, natural. Because he’s starting to confront all of it as well.
In this shot, Colin has been walking across the room to get to Pen. There were people on his right, obstructing his view of her, but as LW says “natural,” Colin passes those people and, though we cannot yet see Pen, we can tell from Colin’s face that he finally clearly can. She is what is most natural to him.
He comes up to her and says that he has a question for her. The narration starts again. But on this shot, it’s only the one word, “our.” Aside from this just being romantic, I think it highlights that the narration is about both of them. But I also think that it’s not just about them. It feels to me as if, metaphorically, it’s written by both of them. Hence, my emphasis on the importance of “this author.”
We cut to our first close-up of Colin in this particular intimate sequence of close-ups. And we’re really in his perspective now, as he’s struggling to manage his feelings.
Again, he had been masking, trying to be like the other “sophisticated” gentlemen.
But a shift is occurring within him.
And this where I really hope there is at least one other person out there paying attention because all of the elements are coming together to tell us something incredible here. We have our beloved Julie Andrews delivering the line with a profound heaviness. We have Kris Bowers’ “Call Me Simon” coming to a close, sounding like a clock striking midnight. And we have the decisive sentiment of the words themselves. I'm convinced that the words “done” and “win out” being said on Pen speak to the finality of Colin’s feelings. If there was uncertainty before, it is gone now and there is no turning back. He is in love with Pen.
But before Colin can say anything else, Debling steps in and takes Pen away to dance.
Side note: Amazingly, I can back up my theory with this shot and another one of my theories:
I had said, when the trailer came out, that when true red shows up behind Colin, that indicates his love for Pen. This is the first time we see that happen.
But anyway, back to Whistledown…
Debling is the literal “man of nature,” while Colin is the metaphoric “man of nature.” Both have picked Pen.
We’ve finally come to the second “this author” and here’s the third thing I wanted to say about it: Possibly my favorite thing about this sequence, is that it acts as a vehicle for the representation of the Polin role reversal. From one end of the Whistledown narration to the other, Pen and Colin literally and metaphorically switch places, seamlessly. They exchange their physical places in the room. She’s the wallflower, then he’s the wallflower. She’s the author, then he’s the author. In a metaphorical sense, they’re both writing this Whistledown piece. This whole sequence serves to show us how Colin and Pen have really been equal this whole time. They’re just star-crossed. It’s like what Luke has been saying in interviews, Colin and Pen keep missing each other. They have brief moments where they eclipse each other and then they slip right past until the next time they orbit around to each other again.
Ok, here’s the final stretch, and it is a fucking fascinating maneuver:
The battle isn’t between Colin and Debling. In fact, Debling doesn’t signify at all here. I’d say there are actually three other battles being referenced: Colin and himself, Pen and herself, and Colin and Pen.
The first “man” of that sentence is said on Colin, while “nature” is said on Pen. So in the battle between Colin and Pen- for there is a battle, as Cressida will mention in 3x04 when she says “Eros and Psyche, battling it out”, and also there will be more blatant battling in part 2- the real battles Colin and Pen are facing are the ones within themselves.
Of course I’ve already written about Colin’s battle with himself.
The reference to Pen’s battle with herself is particularly interesting to me. At first, I didn’t see it and I didn’t understand why that bit of the narration was spoken over the Pen and Debling dance instead of over Colin. Then I realized that the second “man” of that sentence is said directly on top of this shot where, again, it’s not about Debling; it’s her face we’re seeing. Then, Debling spins her and the “himself” is on Pen too.
And I know I’m right about this because the shot was in the trailer and I watched it so many times. And I noticed that Sam Phillips is very specifically looking away from the camera in this moment. I figured it was because we had to know that the moment was about her. And I was right.
Pen’s journey is her reconciliation with herself. Colin and Pen really have the same inner battles. They both need to drop their masks. That’s why the mirror scene is going to be so important- it’s about exposing and embracing the bare parts of both of them. They are already equal and united. They just need to see it.
Ok that’s it. I’m done. I got it out. And I literally can’t add any more images to this post. To anyone who will have read this fuckin novel I just wrote, thanks for sticking around. These ballroom sequences are particularly difficult for the cast and crew to do, and there is obviously so much complexity in this one, so I feel like it should all be acknowledged. Someone has to acknowledge it, and if that has to be me, I will gladly continue using up my Friday afternoons to do so.
To the cast and crew, to the captain of the season 3 ship, Jess Brownell, to the director, Andrew Ahn, and writer, Eli Wilson Pelton, to everyone’s favorite choreographer/movement director, Jack Murphy, to Luke, Nic, and Julie fuckin Andrews, I see you and I love you. Please keep doing what you’re doing. It’s all worth it. ♥️
#my obsession with this show and specifically this episode is unlike anything i’ve ever experienced before#forces of nature#innovations ball#hawkins ball#polin#lady whistledown#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#netflix#andrew ahn#jack murphy#jess brownell#eli wilson pelton#obsessive bridgerton things#bridgerton analysis
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g!p julie fics are seriously understocked rn it's a crime
made me bussanut ‼️‼️‼️
warnings: G!p Julie, 5th member reader, reader snuck in cuz she on hiatus😭, fan sign, edging…, semi public sex?, secret blowjob, natty is stupid, u slap her balls like once🎀 kinda short, i think thats it…
um not proofread again…
Everyone at the fan sign knew something had to be wrong with the Julie. To stuttering, gasping, and having her eyebrows furrowed nearly the whole time, people started to get worried. many speculated she missed you, since you were set to be on a hiatus for at least a month due to being accused of being a porn star being debut, (cut me some slack man… idk what to write😭) little did they know you were under the table, stroking Julie’s fat cock.
placing tender kisses along her length and on her tip, never taking her fully in your mouth. Julie had been on edge ever since she sat down, wondering when you would start a proper blowjob. your fingertips teased her tip while you were as the fans started to line up, Julie felt warmth around her tip, making her let out a soft whimper. you wrapped your fingers around the base of her cock, before taking more of it in your mouth little by little. head bobbing on her dick as you take her in your throat. your tongue swiping on the underside of her cock made her let out a low grunt, gaining the attention of the fan in front of her.
“um… are you okay?” the girl asked, before pushing the opened album in front of her
gulping, she answers while trying not to moan out loud “ghk- yeah! how are you though?”
“well-“ Julie had completely zoned out, focusing on trying not to start whimpering in the middle of the fan sign
timeskip… idk what to put man😔
Julie’s facade had started to break as the fansign came to a halt, breathing heavily as showed her no mercy. every time you felt she was gonna cum, you stopped your actions. waiting for the urge to go away before going right back to deep throating her throbbing cock.
As the members were resting, Julie was still trying to be as quiet as she can with her the overwhelming head she was receiving.
“Do you have a ding dong?” Natty whispered to her, breaking the girl from the trance she was in
“H-huh?” Julie gasped out, feeling you play with her heavy balls. your tongue swirling on her tip. Natty continued to speak
“Y’know.. like a… cum gun? pew pew?” Natty started to lean in closer, voice lowered in order to not disturb the other girls. “Or a joystick? whatever you call it!” she trailed off, before noticing the slight sweat around Julie’s neck. “mmfh- fuck..” you took her all in your throat now, pausing for a second before bobbing your head up and down “wha-“ “shhh… yeah I do h-hAVE! one.. oh shit…” Natty looked at her wide eyed as the girl now had her head thrown back. “The fuck?” she questioned the older girl. Before she could respond, Julie felt you bob your head faster, feeling her tip ram into the back of your throat. She brought her hands to her face as to cover her flushed cheeks and to quiet her moans😵💫 her cock was throbbing once again as you suckle on her mushroom tip, she prayed you would let her cum deep in your throat. Natty walked away not wanting to deal with whatever was helping with the leader. Julie felt the same knot in her stomach, nearly crying out as she thrusted hard into your awaiting throat for the first time of the night. she painted your insides white with her thick load, making you gag but not rejecting it whatsoever. she leaned back in her chair, riding out her orgasm as she breathed heavily.
“Get up! we’re gonna perform!” Belle called out to Juile. still recovering from her orgasm she panted out a response “huh? i t-thought we would get a little practice before that..” her mind foggy, only thinking about how she would pound your pretty little cunt after this. you giggle at your girlfriend’s cuteness before coughing loudly. hearing this, Belle stepped closer to find the source of the noise.
“what the f-“ Belle lifted the cloth on the table, revealing your topless figure
“oh!- um hi! miss me?”
“how are you here? why is there white on yo- EWW NASTY!”
“nuh uh! not nasty… my babygirl tastes good..”
“yeah whatever.. unnie put your dick away”
hi my loves 🎀 IM LOCKING IN FIX MY ACC RNNNNN n other shit um💪💪💪🤫🧏 wish me luck yall…
Anyway Love you guys and stay safe❤️❤️
-Vicky 💋
#vicky’s asks#anon ask#wlw#kiss of life smut#kiss of life x reader#kiof smut#julie han smut#julie han x reader#g!p
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#trying to organize my life as if bc it's the 1st of july everything will fall back into place#i just need some sense of control#like i'm in control of things instead of feeling like everything else is dictating how i feel#i need to go back to doing yoga#to writing#to reading#just just fucking enjoying the things i like#it's so fucking#frustrating feeling like i expected everything to improve once i started this new phase by going to uni#but actually just experience pure despair and even more uncertainty and discontentment#every day is a fucking internal battle of me not wanting to study/go to class#but i seriously have to pull through#so i need to stop letting this whole situation consume me and take control of it again#in retrospective it's gonna be a year since i've started feeling like shit again#and i'm so tired of feeling like it#i need to find a silver lining and i'm trying it from every angle and i'm hanging on to the smallest possibilities#of trying to turn things around#idk everything seems pointless but if i find one thing to look forward to maybe it will be less unbearable#i need to keep this in mind#personal x
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