Cartoons from the 80's had a lot of anti-drug/anti-drinking messages, with plots surrounding the consequences. I saw these when I was really, really little, so some of the lessons probably stuck.

Even though I've been drunk, I've never driven. I knew not to way back when I was a kid, because media pounded into our heads not to do that, and I have real life and family examples of what happens if you do.

I've also never smoked anything, or done any drugs because I never really wanted to. Truth be told, the lessons were probably in my subconscious (along with real life examples of what happens) helping me make the right judgement calls.

It obviously didn't work with every Millennial, but it got through to a few of us.

This cartoon even tackled prescription drug abuse, and how it negatively affects people and those around them. It also hit on issues of elderly loneliness, how little lies can lead to big problems, owning up to your responsibilities (wherein Henry Bigg -yeah, the human - leaves a baby he volunteered to babysit with the Littles so he could play touch football with his friends across the street and fire breaks out because of the actions of an unsupervised baby. And also Plot.).

80's cartoons went hard with these messages.

This cartoon from my childhood I'm binge watching, The Little's, had a good idea at the end of one of the episodes that showed the dangers of being drunk, how it effects people and themselves, and drunk driving with an incident that almost killed one of the Littles:

A contract between kids and their parents.

Both parties write up a contract that states that kids will call their parents to come pick them up rather than driving, or getting a ride with someone who could be drunk, or otherwise compromised.

Parents agree to go pick them up; no questions asked. Period.

Not a bad idea, honestly.

If I had kids, I'd probably do this. It gives the kids freedom to go out and have fun with friends, while also giving both a sense of trust that the other will abide by the contract.

Trust from both sides is insanely important.

Overheard conversations pt48(continuation of pts34,40z&43)Middle names and a genealogical revelation. 2/2

Logan: He's your dad?

Keegan: uh-huh.

Keegan: I understand if this is a deal breaker for you.

Logan: WHAT! No, no, no, not at all! Keegan, I love you for you! That's not going to change just because of a biological relationship that you didn't ask for!

Keegan: I kinda did.

Logan: Oh.

Keegan: I found out that he was my dad when Nona brought home a newspaper, telling me that my father had made the front page. All I ever wanted from that point forward was to meet him.

Logan: Do you want to talk about it? What did the article say?

Keegan: The headline was “Marine hero kills suicide bomber! Saves school bus full of children! Promoted to Captain!” When Nona told me that he was my dad, I felt so proud. It was the main reason I joined up with the Marine's so early, I just wanted to see him, make him just as proud of me. I never managed to tell him.

Logan: wow. That's sad that you never got to tell him.

Keegan: I didn't have to. After the funeral we had for him, his lawyer pulled me aside to give me a letter he had written the day before the carcass mission.

Logan: So he did know!

Keegan: He did! Figured me out after the first week! Apparently I look like a combination of my mother and my paternal grandfather. That letter explained a lot of things, like why my favourite fruits and candy were always stocked and why he always had a room at his place ready for me whenever I needed it.

Logan: You had a room at his place?

Keegan: I did, I actually wound up moving in with him after Nona died and he just took care of me. It seems like we were both too worried that revealing our biological relationship would boot me from the team. So he never said anything and never did I.

Logan: That's sweet, and sad. He's not much older than my dad is, do you know how old he was when you were born?

Keegan: I think he was about fifteen, I know my mother was sixteen at the time. The story I got was that they had a fling just before he and my grandparents moved across the country.

Logan: And where did you get that from?

Keegan: The letter. Nona didn't know a thing because I was a cryptic pregnancy, mom didn't even know she was pregnant till she went into labour, on top of that she went to jail for trying to drown me as an infant so I refuse to talk to her.

Logan: Huh? I think you lucked out with being raised by your grandmother.

Keegan: I definitely did.

Logan: So, do you want to use “Gabrielle” or “Gabriella”?

Keegan: “Gabrielle”.

Logan: So that's Elodie Gabrielle, Annabella Maria, Madeline Grace, Daniel Alexander, and Christopher Grim. Am I missing anyone?

Keegan: No, you got it just right.

This universe too thought out now, I beg of thee: Write a fic lmao. My inbox is no place for your creativity to thrive.

"That's not going to change just because of a biological relationship that you didn't ask for! "I kinda did." Kinda made me laugh. Incorrect Lou, he did in fact ask for it... kinda.

All the names are so thought out, you got dedication to this!

Dad’s Worst Nightmare (Part 1)

Summary: The reader has a fight with her dad, Jensen, before she heads to a sleepover at her friends. But the sleepover turns into a big party that ends up changing the reader and her father’s lives forever...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x daughter!reader 

Word Count: 5,300ish

Warnings: language, underage drinking, mentions of drugging, pissed off Jensen

A/N: I felt like trying something different to get me out of some writer’s block so here’s my first Jensen daughter series!...

A/N #2: The reader is 17 years old in this series...

“But dad-”

“I don’t care,” said you dad, your eyes rolling in response. “You’re not sleeping over Sara’s tonight.”

“Mom said I could,” you said, Danneel walking into the kitchen.

“What’d I say you could?” she asked, opening up the fridge.

“You said I could sleepover Sara’s tonight,” you said. Your mom winced and looked at your dad, his face turning to a scowl.

“Sorry, Jay. I did tell Y/N earlier in the week she could. The girl’s are having a night,” she said, you dad frowning.

“This is my first weekend home where all our schedules aren’t crazy in over a month,” said your dad, looking at you. “The little guys are with their grandparents. You played your last soccer game of the season last weekend. You don’t want to hang out with me for one night?”

“I’m seventeen dad,” you said, his head shaking. “What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal? I haven’t spent any time with my oldest kid in forever, that’s the big deal,” he said.

“Mom,” you said, looking to her for some help. “Please tell your husband everyone else’s lives aren’t put on hold the second he decides to come home from playing dress up.”

“Playing dress puts food on that table,” said your dad. “And I do not-”

“Mom, you said I could stay at Sara’s. Her parents will be home and I don’t have indoor soccer until noon which I will certainly be on time for,” you said, glaring over your shoulder at your dad.

“Did you finish your homework?” she asked.

“Yes,” you said, cocking your head. She held up her hands in defeat. “Thank you.”

“You’re letting her go?” asked your dad, your eyes wide.

“I can’t believe you right now,” you said, his own wide right back at you. “What do you want from me? I get straight A’s. I’m on honor roll and do a million clubs and sports and volunteer and work at the brewery and I babysit all the time and I keep my room clean and do chores and I even have my college application already written thank you very much. What more do I possibly have to do to be good enough, huh?”

“Y/N, that’s not-”

“I’m going to pack,” you said, storming out of there before you did something that got you grounded.

“Y/N,” asked your mom as she drove you to Sara’s. You hummed from the passenger seat, staring out the window. “Your dad just misses you is all, sweetie.”

“Could have fooled me,” you said, biting your lip, hoping she didn’t call the whole thing off on you for that. You turned in your seat, Danneel not saying anything as she kept driving. You’d known her since you were little, about five years old and she’d always been mom to you, even if she wasn’t biologically. You absolutely loved your siblings and being a big sister to them but you couldn’t help but feel like in recent years you were the “accident” child. You were, not that your dad would have ever said something like that to you, but things had been different lately and you’d chalked it up to growing up and becoming independent at first. Now, you felt like keeping a nice barrier from your dad was a good thing. You’d be eighteen in a few months and the next year you could leave and finally let him have the life he actually wanted without the kid he didn’t mean to make around.

“...you hear what I’m saying, honey?” said your mom, your head nodding as if you’d heard anything of what she’d been going on about the past five minutes. She pulled up outside of Sara’s, ruffling your head.

“Mom,” you groaned, trying to slide out of the car.

“I’ll pick you up at eleven tomorrow so we can swing home and get you changed for your game, okay?” she asked.

“You have brewery stuff tomorrow, don’t you,” you said, her face falling. “S’okay. Not everyone’s parents come to their games.”

“Dad’ll love to go for the both of us. Call if you need anything,” she said, your head nodding as you grabbed your backpack. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” you said, giving her a wave as she backed out. She paused a minute before you jogged up to the front door and Sara opened it, giving a wave before your mom took off. “I am so glad to be out of there.”

“I know. My parents are on a work trip. The house is mine for the entire weekend,” she said with a smile. You smiled back, figuring it wouldn’t be a big deal if her parents weren’t home. “Come on. Let’s ditch your bag and get ready.”

“Ready?” you asked, Sara pulling you upstairs with her.

“My parents are out of town? I’m throwing a huge party obviously.”

“Sara,” you said about an hour into the thing, wincing at the number of people there, some from school, a lot you didn’t know, some even older looking and so much alcohol around you felt drunk off the fumes. 

“Are you drinking straight vodka?” she asked, staring into your cup. “Wow.”

“It’s water,” you said, rubbing your bare shoulder. “I don’t like this shirt.”

“I know. You love it,” she said, bopping you on the nose before she walked away. You rolled your eyes at her, trying to hide away on the fringes of the party. There were too many people and way too many you didn’t know. Your reserved side was in full force tonight. You sighed, deciding to head upstairs and change out of the low cut crop top she’d made you put on. You felt naked and crossed your arms over your stomach and chest as much as possible before you realized her bedroom door was locked, your eyes rolling when you realized why. You hid back downstairs, a guy that looked like he was in college chuckling when he walked into the kitchen.

“Hey. They out of Bud?” he asked, nodding at the cooler you were standing in front of.

“I uh, don’t know. Sorry,” you said, moving aside, the guy flipping it open and grabbing a can.

“You not much of a party girl, huh,” he said, giving you a nod.

“Nope,” you said, looking away.

“I’m Johnny,” he said.

“Y/N,” you said. He cracked open his beer and handed it to you, staring at you as you stared at the can. “I don’t drink.”

“Come on. It’s light beer. You won’t even get drunk off it,” he said. “Maybe a little tingle but that’s it.”

You turned away, the beer can disappearing, a red cup in front of you a moment later.

“That’s half a can,” he said, the amount not seeming all that much now. You cocked your head. It’s not like you’d never had a drink before but that was normally a sip or two of wine at a holiday. You put the cup to your lips and swallowed some down. The flavor wasn’t anything special but you drank it down, the guy chuckling. “Told you so, Y/N. I’ll see you around maybe.”

“Uh huh,” you said, wading out of there and out to the party.

Thirty minutes later you were leaned up against a wall, closing your eyes. Something was wrong. Sure you were a lightweight but something was really, really wrong. Sara was useless, drunk off her ass and making out with dude in her parents bedroom at this point. 

“He’s going to fucking kill me,” you muttered, finding the downstairs bathroom and getting some privacy. You dialed on your phone and closed your eyes, splashing some cold water on your face.

“Y/N? Everything okay?” asked your dad. You paused, knowing you were already sending him into red alert. “Y/N.”

“Can you come get me?” you asked quietly. “Please.”

“Of course, honey,” he said, hearing the shake in your voice. “Where are you? Sara’s still?”

“Yeah,” you said. “There...I didn’t know her parents were out of town and thought we were just having a sleepover but she threw a huge party and I had a little beer and you can kill me later but I don’t feel right, dad.”

“It’s okay,” he said softly, the car tearing out of the driveway after a few seconds. “I’m on my way over right now. Did you take a drink from someone?”

“No...yes but...I don’t know, maybe he put something...” you said, spacing out for a few seconds. “I’m scared, daddy.”

“I’ll be right there. I’m ten minutes away. I’ll stay on the phone with you the whole time, alright? Nothing bad’s going to happen,” he said. “I promise.”

Ten minutes later you heard a car pull up outside and you sighed in relief. You hopped out of the bathroom, immediately bumping into Johnny.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said with a smile. “Enjoying the party?”

“Stay away from me,” you said, brushing past him, a hand catching your arm. “Johnny, let go.”

“I’m not-”

“Hey!” you heard shouted so loud every head in the vicinity turned your direction. You’d seen your dad’s show before, seen what you thought was scary Dean Winchester.

That was nothing compared to pissed off dad.

“Go away, Johnny,” you said, shrugging out his hold and walking over to your dad.

“There’s older guys and then there’s older guys,” said Johnny with a laugh. Your dad audibly growled, walking over and getting in his face. “Who the hell are you?”

“Her father,” he gritted out. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Johnny,” he said with a smirk.

“Oh? Okay, Johnny,” he said, grabbing his shirt collar and practically lifting him off the ground. “Y/N, was this the guy that gave you a drink with a little something extra in it?”

“Dad-”

“Is he?” he asked.

“...Yeah,” you said. Your dad nodded once before he smiled darkly at Johnny, leaning in close and saying something quietly, the color draining from Johnny’s face.

“Party’s over!” shouted your dad, no one daring to mess with him. People started to scramble out of the house, red and blue lights flashing through the windows. “Oh and Johnny. Let me introduce you to my buddy. He’s a cop. I’m sure you’ll have lots to talk about.”

“How is she?” asked your dad after a paramedic looked you over and a cop took your statement. 

“Had half a drink. Blood work will probably come back positive for rooffies,” he said. You looked down, arms covering your chest and stomach, wishing you were anywhere but there. 

“Can I take her home?” he asked.

“Yeah. Drink lots of water and in the morning don’t be surprised if there’s some gaps in memory,” he said. You dad nodded and helped you off the stretcher, walking you over to the passenger seat of his car. Your backpack was already in the backseat and he helped sit you down. 

He took off his flannel and put it around you, helping button it up when your hands shook. He pulled your seatbelt on and kissed the top of your head before he was driving away. 

He didn’t say a word the whole way home.

You sniffled a few times but had things under control by the time you were walking inside with his hand on your arm to help you, your steps a little unsteady and you started crying all over again just as your mom came around the corner.

“I got her,” said your dad, turning you around and picking you up, carrying you up the stairs as you clung to him like you were one of your younger siblings having a crying fit. He set you down in your room, your mom inside seconds after shooing him out.

“No one touched you, right?” she asked. You nodded, squeezing your eyes shut. “It’s okay. Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

You nodded, trudging into your bathroom, standing under the hot water trying to get your head to clear up. It worked some but your body felt heavy and you spent most of the time crying. 

He was going to kill you for not calling right away when you realized there was a party. He’d been pissed when you left for the night. You couldn’t imagine how angry he’d be after ruining everything.

Finally you managed to get out of the shower and into some pajamas, spotting your red and puffy eyes in the mirror. You slugged out to your room and curled up on top of your bed, a mug of hot cocoa on your nightstand. You sat up and sipped at it along with the few bottles of water that were now there, pushing it away when it reminded you of the last time you had some, when you’d gone to lunch with your dad back in the winter after getting your license.

You laid down on the bed again, staring at the wall for a while before the door creaked open. Your dad was in his pajamas, giving you a soft smile as he stepped inside.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down on the other side of your bed, swinging his legs up and pulling you into his side. Your head was splitting and dizzy and you whined against him, clutching at his shirt. “Shh. S’okay. I’m staying right here. You’re safe. You’re safe, honey. Try to sleep and we’ll ride this out, okay? Daddy won’t let anything happen, I promise.”

You woke up groggy but your head felt a million times better. You were startled by the fact there was someone else in your bed, taking a second to realize it was your dad, already awake and looking at you.

“Hey,” he said quietly, your eyes fluttering closed as you buried your face in his chest. “How’s your head?”

“...msor...” you mumbled, his hand moving your head back an inch. He tucked your hair behind your ear, patting it down on the top. 

“You’ve had the funniest bedhead in the world ever since you were a baby,” he said, resting his hand on your arm. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, waiting for his green eyes to get mad, for the gentle face to go away, for him to disown you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry that happened to you. I am. But why are you apologizing to me?” he asked.

“Because I should have asked to come home straight away and I drank and fuck you saw me in that shirt,” you said, closing your eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in his.

“You’re a teenager, sweetie. Sara’s parent not being home wouldn’t have been an issue. A party...you’ve gone to parties before and you never came home drunk. Hell, you’ve probably taste tested way more beer at the brewery than whatever you had at that party and-”

“But I let a guy give me a drink when I didn’t want one,” you said.

“You’re seventeen honey,” he said. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. I never expect you to be perfect. You didn’t know he put something in it. I’m fucking forty and you’ve seen me way too drunk before. Hell, you helped me up to bed once.”

“But you’re an adult and I didn’t like that shirt and...” you said, trying to roll to your other side, his hand stopping you.

“You’re a grown woman, Y/N,” he said. “You have no idea how proud we are of you, especially for last night.”

“I did everything wrong,” you said. He scrunched up his face, taking his turn to close his eyes. When he finally let out a breath and opened them, you saw something vulnerable in them.

“You did what we taught you. You knew something was wrong and you asked us to help you. We will never, ever be mad at you for asking for our help. You stayed someplace safe while I was coming to get you and even when I embarrassed the shit out of you, you never once looked like you gave a crap about what any of those other kids thought. We taught you to be smart and independent and stand up for yourself and that’s what you did,” he said.

“I didn’t,” you said, shaking your head. “You’re supposed to hate me.”

“Hate you?” he asked. “Last night was the worst night of my life. It was my fucking nightmare to see you like that. You weren’t even with us half the time, kiddo you were so out of it. I was so freaking proud of you for calling me so it was only a little nightmare, not as bad as it could have been. Honey, I love you more than anything. You and your sisters and brother...nothing is more important than you guys. You were this little bundle of joy I was blessed with and someone almost hurt my baby last night. You called me daddy and that broke my fucking heart. I haven’t heard that out of your mouth since you were six. You were so scared and all I wanted to do was protect you. But you’re a big girl and even though I wasn’t there, you made sure you were safe on your own until I could get to you. You do not get that scared over someone unless you love them more than you love yourself. That’s what happens when you have kids. They get your heart and you’re more than happy to give it to them. I will never be mad at you for what happened last night, neither your mom or me. Ever.”

“Really?” you asked, sniffling some, surprised to realized he was shedding a few tears of his own. “But I thought...I’m not supposed to cause problems. You have so much going on you shouldn’t have to worry about me.”

“I hate to break it to you but I can guarantee I’ll still be waking up in a cold sweat from nightmares over stuff happening to you when you’re forty and have a family of your own,” he said with a smile. “Another thing, where did you get this idea from of having to be perfect from? You said it yesterday and...if I or your mom have made you feel like there is no room for error, I am so sorry for that. You’re not supposed to be perfect. No one is.”

“You got so mad last night when I wanted to sleepover and I never drop stuff last minute on you guys and it made me mad like you don’t realize I have a life too...” you said, your dad wiping away the tear streaks on your face with his thumb.

“I don’t want a perfect child. Just a good and kind one...that can’t parallel park for shit but you know, we can work on that,” he said, a laugh escaping you. “You just started your senior year, Y/N. Do less activities, don’t work on the weekends, let us use a babysitter that isn’t you all the time. You do not exist to be our helper. You’re our daughter and that’s all you have to be,” he said.

“Can I quit soccer?” you asked, his head nodding. “Mom already paid though.”

“It’s okay,” he said.

“I don’t like being on the prom committee either,” you said. “Or Math League.”

“As long as you don’t turn into a degenerate on us, do what you want, honey,” he said. You nodded, reaching a hand up and wiping off his face. “Boys can’t cry now?”

“I don’t like when you cry,” you said.

“Starting to understand why I stayed in here last night for me as much as I did for you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes, starting to feel tired again. “What did you say to Johnny that made him turn as pale as a ghost?”

“It’s not appropriate to repeat,” he said.

“You’ve been swearing this morning and you like never do that,” you said.

“Basically I told him if he touched you or any other woman ever again, I’d kill him. I may have mentioned some other stuff I’d do before the killing but again, not appropriate,” he said. You stared at him, sensing he wasn’t joking.

“You would kill someone?” you asked.

“Forget I said that. How about after a little nap, because someone is looking sleepy again, we go downstairs and I will make up some chocolate chip pancakes and we can watch Saturday morning cartoons like we used to when you were little?” he asked.

“Will you stay here?” you asked.

“Not going anywhere, sweetie.”

You were sat on the couch shoveling half a pancake in your mouth an hour later, laughing at an episode of Scooby Doo when you heard the mud door open and your mom walk in, your dad popping up from his seat.

“Yes I’m better. You can stop having a mouth conversation now,” you said, your dad looking down at you. “I noticed you guys do that when I was eleven. I just never said anything.”

“Well today’s just been an insightful day so far hasn’t it?” he asked, plopping back down next to you.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” asked your mom, coming over to sit next to you, trying to pull you into a hug despite the plate in your lap.

“Awesome. Please don’t dump syrup all over me,” you asked.

“You’re not going to soccer today. You need to stay home and rest,” she said.

“Y/N quit soccer and a couple of other clubs,” said your dad. “She had too much on her plate.”

“Good. You’re too young to be this stressed already,” she said, resting her head on your shoulder. “Maybe you cut back at the brewery too?”

“Yeah, you can watch TV like a normal teenager. There’s this awesome show on Thursdays,” he said.

“You two aren’t gonna like...be all over me all day are you?” you asked. 

“Nope,” said Danneel, popping up. “I’m going to the brewery for a few hours then I’m driving to the grandparents to grab the kids. Should be back sometime tomorrow around lunch but I’ll check in on you.”

“All three kids by yourself?” you asked.

“Uh huh,” she said, pausing. “Unless you want me to stay here and I can totally do that. I just thought maybe you wanted some alone time with your dad. We can have a family day tomorrow.”

“Okay,” you said, your mom giving you each a big kiss before she grabbed her bag and headed out. 

“You okay with hanging out with your old man all weekend?” he asked with a smile.

“Yeah,” you said. He grabbed your finished plates and put them away in the kitchen, returning to the couch and pulling you into his side, giving you a big forehead kiss. “Dad...”

“Is our special morning gone?” he asked, teasingly.

“No,” you said, snuggling into his side, pausing a moment. “I’m not too old for this, am I?”

“Never,” he said with a smile, throwing an arm over your shoulders. “More cartoons?”

“Can we watch Scoobynatural?” you asked, glancing up at him.

“Sure we can. We just need to watch every single episode before that first,” he said with a laugh.

“We’ll be here until I’m forty,” you said, your dad laughing as he hit up Netflix. 

“Y/N,” he said, looking down at you. “When I do have to go back to work next week, I want you to promise me that you’ll call more. Not waving hey in the background while I talk to the other guys. Tell me about school or boys or some funny thing you saw on the internet. Just talk to me again. I missed you.”

“Me too. I know you didn’t mean to make me but I was never an accident to you, was I,” you said.

“No. No you were not planned but I wouldn’t give you up for the world, honey. Even if you are a teenager now and that scares the crap out of me,” he said.

“You don’t have to worry about me going to anymore parties. Lesson learned,” you said.

“Don’t be afraid to live your life, honey. Just live it smart,” he said, turning on the TV. “Okay?”

“Okay, dad. I love you,” you said.

“I love you too, honey. So, so much.”

You must have fallen asleep sometime in the afternoon, waking up to your dad snoring lightly on the other end of the couch, your feet in his lap. You carefully pulled them away, stretching in your seat for a moment. You turned off the TV and gave your blanket to your dad, guessing he was probably up half the night worrying over you. 

You went to the kitchen and thought about baking something, something the two of you really hadn’t done together in years, smiling when you heard the doorbell ring. You jogged over to the door, trying to catch it so your dad could stay asleep.

“Hi,” you said, giving the officer standing at the door a smile. “Can I help you?”

“Ms. Y/N Ackles?” he asked.

“Yes officer? Is this about what happened last night?” you asked.

“Is your father, a Mr. Jensen Ackles, home?” he asked.

“Yeah. What’s...” you said, hearing your dad come up behind you. 

“What’s going on?” he asked with a sleepy smile. The officer brushed past you, grabbing your dad and spinning him around face first into the closest wall. “What-”

“You are under arrest,” said the officer, slapping a pair of cuffs on your dad and dragging him out barefoot, still in his pajamas.

“You can’t do that!” you said, rushing outside after them, the officer pinning your dad down against the car hood before turning to you.

“Quiet before I arrest you for interfering,” he said, your dad groaning when he got a shove against the metal hood.

“Just call mom, kiddo,” said your dad, pulled off the car and led to the backdoor, the officer roughly placing him in the back. “It’s just a misunderstanding. Call-”

The door slammed in his face, your dad pursing his lips at the officer through the glass.

“What is he arrested for? You didn’t read him his rights or-” you said, the officer pointing a finger in your face. You gulped as you stared up at him, recognizing the blue eyes staring at you. “You’re Johnny’s dad, aren’t you.”

“Here’s how this goes, kid,” he said, standing in front of the back window so your dad couldn’t see. “You’re going to give me a statement saying you were misinformed last night and somebody else gave you that drink. You’re very sorry for blaming Johnny and it was all a big misunderstanding. He didn’t slip you anything and he certainly did not give an underage girl any alcohol last night, understand?”

“Are you threatening me?” you asked, the officer smirking.

“A threat would be saying your father is under arrest and I will make sure your pretty daddy gets put in the shittiest shit hole there is with the scummiest scumbags there are and we’ll see if he comes out in one piece, because I guarantee he won’t. Pretty nice boys don’t do well in prison. Doesn’t matter if the charges won’t stick, paper work could get lost, he could spend a whole day having fun in a place like that,” he said.

“Let him go,” you said. “I’ll sign whatever you want. Just let him go.”

“Good girl.”

“Y/N,” said your dad, rubbing his wrists ten minutes later, following you back into the house. “What did the officer say?”

“It was a misunderstanding,” you said dryly, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“A misunderstanding he felt the need to talk to about with my seventeen year old daughter but not me?” he asked, narrowing his eyes. You shrugged, his head shaking. “Do not lie to me.”

“That was Johnny’s dad,” you said, throwing up your hands. Your dad raised his eyebrows, turning around and back to you.

“Did he threaten you?” asked your dad, his voice hard. You sighed and stared at him, looking at his hands. “He threatened me, didn’t he. Son of a bitch. Y/N, he can’t arrest me for no good reason.”

“Well he made a convincing argument,” you said, closing your eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I took back my statement from last night. I said it wasn’t Johnny, must have been someone else.”

“You what? You...I know it’s scary to stand up to the person that hurt you but you have to undo that, Y/N. Who knows how many other girls this Johnny guy has tried to hurt? Has hurt?” he said.

“You think I don’t know that?” you shot back, leaning against the kitchen counter, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Yes you did. You still do. We can drive down the police station right now and-”

“Dad,” you said, swallowing hard before you forced yourself to look him in the eye. “He didn’t just threaten to have you arrested.”

“What did he say?” asked your dad. You looked at your feet, your dad stepping in front of you, a finger under your chin urging you to look up.

“He said good looking guys don’t do well in prison. I’m old enough to understand what he meant,” you said. Your dad closed his eyes, hanging his head a moment before he pulled you into a hug. “I didn’t want to do it but I didn’t want you to...”

“It’s not your job to protect me,” he said, kissing the top of your head. “But thank you for doing it.”

“What do we do?” you asked.

“For starters, we hope to hell the security camera caught him threatening you. You don’t answer the door anymore either,” he said. You nodded, looking away from him. “I’m not mad, Y/N.”

“I wished I’d called sooner last night,” you said. “It’s my fault you were put in that position.”

“No. It’s not anyone’s fault. Bad people are what did this. We’ll call the lawyer and figure this out. You don’t have to be scared, okay?” he said.

“Too late for that,” you said.

“I know, honey. I know.”

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

So as I’m editing On my Heart, I’ve noticed that a lot of scenes that I thought weren’t great while writing them I actually kind of like?  So I decided to share one of them.  (Especially because I don’t know if it’s going to stay in exactly this format for draft three...)

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           It wasn’t the first time Aiden had left the city.  His parents had taken him on a couple of trips to an amusement park further up the territory—something he hardly remembered, save for when they took him directly after he’d been released from the hospital—and they’d visited his grandparents, who lived in the northern part of the country and didn’t always have the means to come visit.  Occasionally they’d gone to visit aunts and uncles he didn’t know very well and a couple of cousins he got along surprisingly well with (some of which were still save as contacts for his online games).  One time they’d gone to the beach for a couple of days, and Aiden had been excited despite himself, because he was used to water but not so much at once.

           But all of those trips had been on a car ride.  Traveling by train was a new experience.

           Kiru, unsurprisingly, had been ecstatic over the new experience, despite his trepidation over the reason for their trip.  He’d phased out immediately upon entering the train, and Aiden had been so caught up in trying to figure out where he was supposed to be going and how to keep people from looking at him too closely that he hadn’t realized the Familiar had left until a few moments later, leading to a panicked chase through the train cars and a scolding from the conductor.  Kiru had been successfully corralled, and sulked for only a few moments until the train started moving.

           Both Aiden and Kiru pressed their faces against the window, Aiden’s panic and Kiru’s irritation forgotten, as the city passed away, the train traveling over grass and winding past several houses and businesses scattered on the city outskirts.

           Gertrude asked, “You ever been on a train before?”

           Aiden shook his head.

           Kiru made an excited yelping noise, bounding onto the top of the seat and balancing, eyes tracking something Aiden couldn’t see.

           Their neighbors frowned and flicked open a newspaper.

           Aiden gave him a sheepish look and gestured vaguely for Kiru to come down. When the Familiar didn’t notice, he wordlessly gave up.

           Gertrude chuckled.  “Have to say, I didn’t expect to see you so interested in the scenery.”

           “Listen.  It’s not anywhere near the road or the river.  Like—I’ve seen the mountains, but I’ve never been on them.”

           As if on cue, the track sloped, the train chugging up the hill.

           Aiden gripped the seat a little tighter but kept his eyes glue to the window, the rattle of the wheels strangely comforting.

           “Mm. Guess I just kind of got used to it.”

           “Yeah, well, you live outside the city.  So duh.”

           Jackie—who’d been checking her supplies and fixing her prosthetic—gave Gertrude a sideways glance.  “Have you done a lot of traveling?”  The words sounded slightly strained, like she was attempting to make conversation solely for the sake of easing any potential awkwardness before it appeared.

           “When I was younger.  Not that my parents were too thrilled about most of it, of course.  My sister and I used to make impromptu trips to different cities or cool locations we wanted to check out.  One of us would find somewhere that looked interesting, and then we’d just hop in the car and go.  If we didn’t want our parents knowing, the train was usually the best option.”

           Jackie made an incredulous noise.

           Aiden pulled away from the window.  “You could do that?  Just leave?” He paused.  “Wait, you have a sister?”

           “Of course you can just leave!” she said, grinning, and Aiden wondered if she’d even registered his other comment.  “There’s nothing stopping you, really, if you want to go.”

           “Money,” Jackie argued.

           Aiden winced and subconsciously placed a hand on his heart.

           “Sure, sure, if you want to limit yourself.  But you can find ways around that, if you know how to look.  I traveled all the way to Provenance from Coal County in Timston without dipping into my parents’ funds for resources.” She snorted, a funny look crossing her face.  “They didn’t exactly approve, of course.”

           Aiden leaned back a little, scenery momentarily forgotten.  “Why haven’t you ever talked about your family before?  I mean, you seem to like your sister, at least.”

           Gertrude’s expression closed off slightly, and he wondered if he’d touched on an uncomfortable subject.  But she shrugged and glanced aside.  “Haven’t seen them in years, so there’s not much to talk about.”

           “Oh.”  Uncertainly he cast a glance over to Jackie.

           She raised an eyebrow.

           He jumped and looked back out the window.

           Jackie sighed tiredly.  “Whatever biological family I have hasn’t had contact with me since I was little.  My dad’s dead, mom’s God knows where, and my extended family pretty much stopped contacting me once I entered the foster care system.”

           Aiden murmured, “I’m sorry.”

           “Don’t be.  There’s nothing you could’ve done.”  She paused.  “The police were kind of like my family, for a while.”  She folded her arms and glanced aside.

           Aiden swallowed another apology.

           Kiru watched them, head tilted.  He slid onto Aiden’s shoulder and tapped him.

           Aiden furrowed his eyebrows.

           Kiru phased in.  I want to talk to them.

           Okay?  About what?

           About our family.

           Aiden blinked.  He was surprised enough that he almost forgot to lower his voice.  “Kiru said he wants to talk about our family.”

           Gertrude looked intrigued.

           Jackie still looked wary—as she usually did when he mentioned Kiru or had him out—but something vaguely curious flashed in her eyes.

           Kiru said, I don’t have any biological family, either.  That’s alive, anyway.  But it was never anything that bothered me.

           Aiden relayed the information as Kiru went, trying not to interject his own comments in the process.

           I don’t know if that’s a dragon thing, or a Familiar thing.  Family wasn’t important.  Aiden was my master, and it was my job to protect him.

           Something uncomfortable wormed in Aiden’s stomach, but he tried not to dwell on it, focused more on the Familiar’s words.

           But Aiden kept treating me like I belonged there, and I wanted to know more about the world.  So he taught me about family, and insisted that I was part of his.

           The uncomfortable feeling grew, and slowly it dawned on Aiden that he’d never paid much attention to how much the Familiar’s identity and life seemed to revolve around him.  It should have, a part of him whispered. That’s what Familiars are made for.

           So—I don’t know.  Kiru sounded confused for a moment, like he hadn’t quite decided where he’d wanted to go with this.  I guess that’s all.

           Gertrude snorted.  “Well. That was anticlimactic.”

           Aiden complained, “You didn’t even talk about anything we did.”  He hoped his voice wasn’t shaking as much as he thought it was.

           Kiru huffed.  I couldn’t think of anything!

           “I can.”  He paused. “We didn’t travel much.  But we did do a lot of things together.”  He stared out the window again, and his mind drifted back to warm summer nights, small points of light flickering in front of his face.  “Mom and Dad would take me out to catch fireflies when I was little. We’d keep them in a jar for a few hours, but my parents always made me let them go before I went to bed.  One night I managed to sneak some into my room. I was pretty upset when they were dead the next morning.”  He smiled a little sheepishly.  “One of the first things I did when I came home with Kiru was take him out to catch fireflies.”

           It had been strange, coming home with the Familiar.  He was still so unused to having one flickering around inside him, unused to the foreign thoughts and feelings that banged against his skull, foreign and not really formed with human words, but impressions and images and something deep and primal that he hadn’t been able to understand and probably never would.  And he hadn’t been entirely aware of what was going on or what was to come, but he had the vague sensation that things would be different now, and he’d been desperate for some form of normality and for a chance to try and find common ground with the Familiar he hadn’t expected to have and didn’t know how to interact with—no one in his family had owned a Familiar before.

           “My mom heard me trying to explain things.  We, ah, weren’t having too much luck.  Probably because Kiru kept scaring them.”

           Hey! Kiru protested.  That wasn’t my fault!  I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.

           Aiden snorted.  “Mom decided to help us.  Dad came out a little later with a net, and we had some more luck then.”

           He still remembered the kind of funny look his mother had given him when she’d caught him trying to teach the Familiar to catch fireflies.  He understood what it meant in hindsight, but at the time, he hadn’t quite been sure what to make of it.  But then she’d wiped it away and offered the help, and his dad hadn’t so much as looked at him oddly.

           “We used to like to go to the river, too,” he added, but his voice fell.  He’d always liked going to the docks, with his parents as a kid, with Kiru once he got older.  He didn’t know how to sail, but he liked the water, and he’d sometimes fish (a pastime he wasn’t particularly good at, but was relaxing enough that he didn’t mind) or play in the shallows with Kiru.

           But now the river was frightening, tinged with terror and the primal energy of dragons and change he wasn’t sure he knew how to deal with.  It was a representative of the fact that he couldn’t go back to his family any longer.

           The conversation fell away, his mood soured.

           Gertrude cleared her throat.  “Well, anyway.  We have a couple hours before our stop.  Better get comfortable.”

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Tag list: @siarven, @focusdumbass, @paladin-andric, @onedayiwillfind, @muggle-writes. Let me know if anyone wants to be added to/removed from the tag list!

Let’s Talk About Steven’s Mom

There are few characters that I have changed my opinion on more than Rose Quartz. She was one of my favorites from the start of Steven Universe, mostly because of her aesthetic more than anything else. The myth behind her was intriguing and offered depth to the early episodes as we learned about the Crystal Gems and Steven, how they relate to one another and how Rose Quartz acted as a connection between them. Then, We Need To Talk aired. I felt deeply conflicted about the sharp turn seen in Rose’s character, like her fundamental personality had been tarnished. It was only upon some deeper thinking that I realized how much this change meant to me. It allowed me to think about the show in a different and more personal light.

For me, Steven is meant to parse through the myth surrounding his mother and, just like many other myths, a lot of the story is skewed by the people telling it. The Crystal Gems loved Rose. She was so many different things to them: a leader, a friend, a comrade in arms, a lover (kind of). Rose inspired all of them to rise above their caste dictated by Homeworld doctrine. While we see Steven grapple with the fact he himself has never been able to know her, it wasn’t until we heard from Greg that the significance of Steven’s feelings were made apparent to me. Greg’s perspective allows us to see her playful nature in a painful light, both in the scene with Rainbow Quartz and the one where Greg tries to fuse with Rose. Her complete disregard for his feelings and his existence as a human allows us to see that she is deeply flawed. We don’t see any of this from the Gems’ perspectives.

This is when I realized that my own experience was reflected within Steven. Long story short, when I was six, I found out that my dad was not my “father.” My biological father did not want to present in my life, although his family was. I have always been close to my paternal grandparents and I always just assumed everyone had three sets of grandparents. I didn’t know how family worked, I just knew these people were present and special in my life. For a long time, I never thought this bothered me. My step-father had always been by dad and I never thought of my sisters as being different from me. I was loved and that’s what mattered. Then, in 2014, my biological father died in a motorcycle accident. This is when it all began to bubble up: the fear of abandonment, the sharp sense of loss, the guilt of not being able to share in the same type of grief as my grandparents. It was confusing. In the four days that followed, I spent every waking moment surrounded by the myth of my biological father. I never got to know this side of him, I didn’t know him aside from stories about him as a kid, told to me by my grandparents. My mom had always been open about her experience with him, but it wasn’t all bad. From my perspective, though, this man chose to leave me behind. He did cause me extreme pain and insecurity - things that began creeping to the surface about three years prior to his accident. I felt lost.

After I thought about it, Steven’s journey helped me begin to process some of these feelings. I wallowed in my strange, grief-stricken purgatory for a long time, not knowing what to do or how to feel. I didn’t know if I should feel anything. Steven’s inability to decide how he should feel about Rose spoke to me. Even after We Need To Talk, Steven began to learn more conflicting information about who his mother was. Others outside of the Crystal Gems began to give Steven more insight, including Jasper, Bismuth, and the Diamonds. I enjoyed the depiction of Steven’s growing confusion and resentment - Rose’s choices in life lead to real consequences for her son, mentally and physically. The main arc of Steven’s character revolves not just around saving the world, but also about how he learns to deal with who Rose really was and the ongoing damaged her actions caused. He matures through the series as he begins to understand his own feelings, creating his own convictions in the process.

And then I lost my mind - A Single Pink Rose solidified my bond with Steven. It is revealed that Rose’s secrets ran deeper than anyone could have expected: she didn’t shatter Pink Diamond, she is Pink Diamond. This reveal was both shocking and a little expected for me. I had somewhat subscribed to the Rose/Pink Diamond theory, but seeing it come to fruition made my heart stop. I was so excited that Rose’s character became more complex, her actions are revealed to be much more selfish in nature. The war, the formation of the Crystal Gems, her treatment of Pearl - while she wanted to protect Earth, she also used the guise of Rose Quartz as a way for her to escape her situation. She caused the deaths of many, manipulated her closest friends, caused a desperate amount of grief for her fellow Diamonds, caused the imprisonment of an entire run of Gems; however, she did allow for life on Earth to flourish. Rose falls much more into a grey area.

When I thought of my biological father, I felt torn by his selfish actions that took a piece of me away. When people tell me I have his eyes or I am like him in so many ways, I want desperately to be considered my own person. When everyone seems to know exactly how they feel about him, I feel jealous. It hurts when I hear about the good he did and the love he shared with the people in his life. But, that’s ok. People aren’t black and white, good or evil. People grow and learn - it seemed like Rose learned, too. I have learned as well and will continue to learn.

The way the Crewniverse builds this complex type of grief into Steven’s narrative makes me feel hopeful. Showing kids the idea that people change and can encompass different shades of grey. That that grief is valid. That you can use it to grow and mature. I hope that other children or young adults that have had similar experiences can find solace in Steven, like I have.

Want to let me know what you thought? Leave a comment over on my blog. 

Matters of the Heart - Chapter One

Summary: Lucas worked hard all of his life protecting his family. During the day he works at his security firm, at night he runs a bar in New York with his best friend and his sister, making sure that no one interferes in his business, or assaults his customers.

Riley thought she had everything she could have wished for cool friends a boyfriend who cared too much and loving parents, except she didn't know what she wanted from her life. Her life never felt like it was hers. She saw graduate school as a way to learn more about the world and about herself.

Until they met and realized there was much more to the world than what they had thought they knew.

A/N: My Rucas Friends, let me introduce you to the one-shot that turned into something else. Yes it’s an Adult AU, Yes it stars all of your favorite couples (well my favorite couples), also I love the day and night of the cover I created because it matches Lucas and Riley. AND YES THE FIRST CHAPTER IS OVER 6,000 WORDS LONG 😍😍😍

Chapter 1 – The Beginning of Everything

They had moved around a few times growing up, it had been him, his mom, and his sister Maya, going from state to state. It started just after he had turned ten, after his step-father had beat him one too many times, except this time his mother found out and she was furious. The man never laid a hand on her before, but that day he had hit her so hard that she cracked her skull on the counter, before he had turned on Lucas and broke his arm.

His sister had been at a neighbor’s house, when the police went to pick her up, Lucas and their mom were in the hospital getting treatment. The police took a statement, and his step-father had been arrested. This was Maya’s father, not Lucas’s but neither of them cared because they both hated him. Maya had only known because she had been hiding in the closet during one of her father’s drunken rages. Lucas had made her promise not to tell because they didn’t have anywhere to go, and he was doing it to protect their mother.

“But Lucas,” Maya had said that day crying while he tried his best to treat the wounds. The man never hit anywhere that would be noticeable to anyone, so his clothes covered the bruises, the cuts could be explained as if he were just playing with his friends outside, but the bruises had marks that looked distinctive to the older man.

“Not a word Maya, I don’t want momma to get hurt,” he said trying his best not to cry.

That had been one of many days where Maya had helped him hide the bruises, to help around the house when he could barely lift his hands. Lucas always made sure to put himself between his step-father and Maya so that she was never hurt.

The day they ended up in the hospital, with the police asking a million questions, that was the day his mother heard everything that had happened. She had been working double shifts since the end of summer because she wanted to save up for the kids to have a good holiday season. It was the reason she hadn’t noticed what had been happening.

“I feel so stupid, I should have known,” his mother said as tears stained her face. She watched in horror as she saw the bruises on Lucas as the doctor’s examined him that day.

The police took statements from all three of them before speaking to his step-father, the man swore that he didn’t do anything, even with the overwhelming amount of evidence against him. He screamed that Lucas and Maya had both lied about what had happened, but in the end the police and the courts made sure that he would end up in prison. Their mother moved them three times before they settled down, the first place was his grandmother’s house in Arkansas, but Lucas kept quite for a long time. His mother was afraid that he wasn’t making friends because of what had happened. In middle school they moved to Texas and lived with Pappy Joe on his ranch, they only moved afterwards because his mother had worked on her degree during those years and had gotten a job in New York.

Lucas also knew that it was during this time that his step-father had gotten out of prison, Lucas had just turned sixteen when they moved to New York, Maya was fifteen, and they were hiding in plain sight in a way. The city was so big that it would be impossible for the older man to find them. His mother changed her name to Hart, Maya did as well but Lucas kept his biological father’s last name, Friar. There was a restraining order on his step-father, so that if the man so much as stepped into the city he would be picked up by police.

Their lives moved on from there, Lucas and Maya became friends with Zay and they all started hanging out every single day. But Lucas still had some anger left over from what had happened, over how he couldn’t protect his mother or his sister. There were days where he got into fights at school, others where he tried his best to keep his temper from becoming too much. His mother worried that all of that time her ex-husband had beaten him, had had a harmful effect on Lucas.

After one too many fights his mother put him in therapy, it had work for a small amount of time, but somedays he felt as if he couldn’t control it. He stopped fighting in school after Zay had told him to join the football team, so he played football and got into Columbia on a scholarship. He played, but he also found another outlet for his anger in an underground boxing club that Zay had found one day.

He stopped fighting once he got his bar up and running, he had the money and the means to run the bar, as he got into graduate school, he wanted to run a successful business, and getting an MBA seemed like the best option for him. He wanted to make sure that he would be successful enough to protect his family if the time came. The bar had become one of his business investments, some of the others had worked out brilliantly as he worked on his degree and when he finished at the age of twenty-two, he was turning a profit on the bar and a security company he ran during the day. Maya and Zay took care of the bar, he worked on security, protecting people, setting up security for huge firms, and gaining a reputation as one of the best companies in the country.

Luckily something had happened in all of the sadness, his mother had found the chance to move on in her life and had fallen in love with a good man. A teacher who had tried to help Lucas while he had been in high school. They had dated for three years, earning his mother’s trust and eventually Maya’s trust as well. Lucas was always wary, until the man had proven to him that he was worth his mother’s time. The year Lucas started grad school his mother married Jonathan Turner.

Riley Matthews’ life was a series of tragic accidents met with moments of happiness, or at least that how she had seen if for so long. Born during her parents’ second honeymoon in New York, they had raised her in an apartment not far from where her grandparents lived as they worked on finishing their degrees. It was a small apartment, but it was full of love from what Riley could remember. Those happy days didn’t last, when she was six her parents were driving home from a ballet at the Pennsylvania Ballet, they had done Sleeping Beauty and, so they took Riley as a Christmas present. It had been a snowy day, and the car had skidded to the side and flipped on the highway and into a ditch.

Riley was the only one to survive.

She had been in the hospital for six months recovering a brain injury, while her Uncle Shawn sat by her bedside. He brought her toys, and books to read to her, he made sure she ate, but he never mentioned her parents. No one did. They were all afraid that it would hurt Riley more.

The thing was, that she didn’t remember them, she didn’t remember a lot those first few months, so Shawn being the one constant in her life aside from her grandparents and Josh had become her legal guardian. It was in her parents’ will. Everything they owned had been packed up and moved to her grandparents’ house.

Riley and Shawn lived there until she turned ten, when he had been offered a job at a newspaper in New York. At first her grandparents protested the move, but after a while they had let them go if only to give Riley a chance at happiness without the ghost of her parents following her around. When they got to New York, Riley had been enrolled into a local elementary school, but soon Shawn noticed that she had picked up her mother’s intelligence so for middle school she had been enrolled into Einstein Academy.

That’s where she met her best friends, Farkle Minkus and Isadora Smackle, the two geniuses helped her come out of her shell and have a little bit of fun. Farkle was a reminder of the past, his parents had known Riley’s and at that time she had become curious about them. All she could remember were the photographs Shawn had put up throughout their apartment, she had no memory of them at all. So, someone who knew them could help her fill in the gaps of her memory. Her friendship with Isadora had become something special in itself. Isadora was deaf, but her loss of hearing didn’t stop her intelligence from growing over the years. Even though she wore hearing aids, she rarely had them on because they would sometimes crackle in her ears, so Riley learned sign language until Isadora had become comfortable with her being around.

The three of them hung out with one another, they smiled, and Riley’s life began to change around her. Shawn took her back to Philly whenever the holidays came around so that their little family stayed close no matter what and her Uncle Josh stayed with them every summer. Riley had been accepted into the same specialized school as her friends and the three of them worked together throughout the years. Riley was no longer hiding behind the sadness of losing her parents, she celebrated them, asked about them, and although she couldn’t remember their faces from her own memories it helped that they had been so loved when they had lived.

Isadora and Farkle started dating in high school, and while Riley went out on a few dates, no one really clicked with her throughout those years. College had their group separating, Farkle and Isadora went to Princeton and completed their bachelors within the first eighteen months. Riley went to Yale because it had been her mother’s dream school, she met Charlie who had become a close friend to her and she had taken classes in a number of departments before settling into the English department and earning her degree in English.

When she graduated, she still didn’t know where she would go, but a last-minute decision found her at graduate school on her way to earning her master’s degree while Isadora and Farkle were on their way to their Ph.D.’s at the same school. Charlie followed her to New York with a job at a nearby school while he earned his teaching credentials. The four of them moving into an apartment together that they could afford while they worked on their degrees. Riley had known that they could have gotten a better place because Farkle’s family had the money and means but they all wanted to do was find their way through their lives on step at a time.

This was the beginning of everything.

Riley’s shift at the café started at seven in the morning every single day, she worked most mornings and if she could she picked up extra shifts so that she could save up for when a emergency happened, mostly she was trying to have enough to pay her tuition, pay her part of the rent and buy herself food. She hadn’t brought new clothes since high school, everything was second hand, or something her grandparents sent as presents. She didn’t care about having new anything and was glad that Shawn had raised her to be good with money. The apartment they shared was a four-bedroom walkup, luckily, they lived on the first floor because she wouldn’t want to actually walk to the second floor. She knew that Farkle took care of the bulk of the rent and while they fought about it on occasion she was grateful for that as well.

“Why not,” he would often say. “I can afford it Riley.”

She sometimes hated relying on anyone for anything and a lot of the time she wanted to yell about how unfair it was to put the burden on Farkle, hence she would work and save even if he didn’t take the extra money she saved it anyway. She had just received her work study assignment, her first day on the job was on Tuesday, and she only worked on days she had classes which made the commute to the school easier.

“I think you’re crazy,” Charlie said while she made drinks at the café. He had come over to take her out to dinner as a celebration for getting into grad school at one of the top schools in the country. Her bachelor’s was from Yale so of course NYU would accept her, she worked hard to get into the program, she was always working hard towards something, she wanted to make her parents proud. She wasn’t sure about becoming a lawyer just because it had been her mother’s career goal, she wasn’t sure what she wanted but it was a step towards something.

“I’m not crazy Charlie, you’re crazy,” she said to him sticking her tongue out to him.

“Riley, you don’t want to be a lawyer,” he said for the millionth time. “Hell, you don’t know what you want to be.”

“I could be a family lawyer, I could be something, hell Charlie I could be President of the United States if I wanted to be. I just want to find my way.”

“I just don’t want you to regret this Riles,” he said as she handed the customer their drink with a smile and a quick thank you.

“I know you’re right, but I feel like… I don’t know that there’s something that I can do as a lawyer, especially after helping out with those women’s groups back when I was at Yale, it’s just a start towards something.”

“Fine, but remember if you want to runaway at any point in time I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go, just say the word,” he smiled at her taking her hand. “You’re my soulmate.”

“Yeah, I’ll tell that to the next guy you ask out and see how it goes,” she said rolling her eyes. Charlie had come out to her after she talked about helping people. She remembered that conversation, it had happened a month after his parents had cut him off for being gay, and he was ultimately alone. Riley had adopted him into her makeshift family and Farkle and Isadora love him as much as Riley does.

“I haven’t had a date in months, I feel like I’ve lost my edge, the move to New York killed it,” he said smiling at her.

“You wish Gardner,” she said pushing him aside. “Who is it? I want a name.”

“Not giving it to you, and it’s only a crush anyway so who knows where it will go. I’m not even sure he’s gay, so I’m taking it slow.”

“Sure, you are, just don’t come crying to me if it doesn’t work out,” she said knowing that she would comfort him anyway.

When she finished her last drink for the day and handed it off to the customer, waving a quick goodbye to her co-workers and getting her stuff, she was greeted with the hot summer heat that stifled the New York streets. Charlie dragged her off towards one of the shops to get an outfit for dinner.

“You’re not wearing that, heaven forbid this girl wears anything knew,” he said as he dragged her towards the back.

The store was a used clothing store named Demolition, she had been there a few times when she was in high school but only ever brought one shirt because she hadn’t known what to get.

“Charlie, I can’t spend a lot of money,” she said trying to drag him back out towards the street.

“Nope, you have some money saved from last month and for once I want you to look good,” he said pulling out a pair of dark grey skinny jeans, followed by a black flowy spaghetti strap top. She almost groaned, when Charlie wanted to dress her up he became a man on a mission, it’s one of the reasons he had gotten a job at Nylon when they moved to New York.

Before she could protest he shoved her into the dressing room and closed the door. She took the chance and looked at the price on the clothes, the jeans were only $20 which seemed reasonable, and the shirt, well the shirt wasn’t cheap.

“Take a chance on this Riley,” he said, instead of fighting him on it she changed into the clothes, her white bra strap peaking out making her self-conscience about it, but before she made a comment Charlie opened the door. “See you’re hot, now we can go and buy you a bra and panties set and then we can go out.”

“Seriously are you going to make me blow all of my saved-up cash?”

“Nope, cause I have a gift card for Victoria Secret, I won it at work and figured I could use it on you because if anyone needed it, well it would be you.”

“You don’t have…” he stopped her before she could finish, putting his hand on her mouth.

“None of that, you’re the reason I can keep going, after… well after you know, so I want to repay you,” he said with a small smile. “Now let’s pay for this, buy you $500 worth of new undies and get home so we can get ready.”

“Thanks Charlie,” she said making his smile reach his eyes, if she didn’t think it were possible, but she saw a sparkle in his eyes and it warmed her heart.

When he said he was using the gift card on her, he wasn’t joking, they walked into Victoria Secret and he picked out several sets of undies, as well as pajamas and a nightie, he made sure to use every cent on the card so that she would have to throw away her old panties, because to him it was a travesty that she had had them for so long.

When they were both ready he pulled her out towards a nearby bar, “They have cheese fries that are to die for,” he said smiling at her as he pulled her towards a table. She noticed that he had kept looking over a the bartender serving up drinks to the people at the bar.

“I bet they also have good drinks,” she said to him making him trip over his own foot before they reached the table at the other end of the place. Charlie sat down and glared at her for a moment. “What did I ruin your suave entrance?” she smirked at him.

“Funny, very freaking funny,” he said before pulling out the menu that was on the center of the table. “Just pick whatever you want to eat, and drink, you have to drink today I already know that you don’t work tomorrow so don’t give me some lame excuse.”

“Fine, I know you just want me to get something to drink because it means you can talk to the bartender,” she said looking over the menu. “How many times have you been here anyway?”

“A few, usually with people from work because my best friend is too busy running herself ragged to go out anywhere with me,” he said mulling over the menu.

“Sorry,” she said as a blonde waitress walked up to their table.

“Can I get you guys anything?” she asked smiling without really smiling. Riley hadn’t thought that it was possible for someone to be as confident as her.

“Can you give us a moment?” Riley answered and the waitress moved on to the next table.

“We might as well wait,” Charlie said to her. “I invited your uncle Josh to hang out with us, since he’s been bugging me to get you to stop working so much.”

“You invited Josh?” she was shocked at hearing this for the first time. She hadn’t seen Josh since graduation, because she started working at the café while doing an internship all summer long. Mostly she was hiding from her family because they still wanted to coddle her and give her money for going to school and finishing.

“Yes, he invited me,” Josh said smiling at her, but it made her feel like she should hide under the table. “Maybe if you would stop ignoring me then this wouldn’t be so awkward.”

“It’s not awkward,” she said but her throat felt dry. “Not… not at all.”

“Yes it is,” Charlie said.

Before they could go into it any further the waitress was back, except this time her smile was genuine, which meant she was interested in Josh.

“Of course,” Riley said rolling her eyes for a moment as she watched the two interact.

“Be nice Riley,” Charlie said in a hushed tone, Riley loved them both, but for some reason it made her feel ten inches tall every time they ganged up on her. She was raised to be self-reliant, but some days it felt as if they wanted to put her in a bubble and keep her safe.

Josh ordered a burger and a beer, smiling at the blonde taking the order as if they’ve gone through this dance a million other times. Charlie ordered some complex drink that Riley didn’t even want to understand and his fries. When the girl’s eyes settled on Riley she felt as if she were challenging her, ‘gross’, she thought to herself.

“Cheeseburger, and a vodka cranberry,” she said trying not to roll her eyes.

When the she was gone Riley turned to Josh with a glare, “No coddling please,” she said before adding. “Also tell the waitress that you want to go out with her before she spits in my food because I’m sitting next to you.”

“You might also want to mention that you’re both related,” Charlie added.

“Seriously,” Josh said before standing up. “And we’re talking, not I’m not going to coddle you I just want to talk, you know like we used to growing up. I’m not my parents.”

“Yeah, I know, but grandma and grandpa are a little much when it comes to me, I know they miss daddy, but some days it feels like it’s too much.”

“I know, remember I was a premature baby, they’re the same with me,” he said before kissing her on her head and walking off.

“You think he’s actually going to ask her out,” Charlie said when Josh was at the bar asking for the waitress.

“Yes,” she said watching the two interact. “Josh probably comes here as much as you do just to see her, which just makes you both hopeless.”

“Maybe if they get close I can get information on the guy, and we can work from there,” Charlie said a grin on his face, she knew it was his plotting face, she’s seen it enough to know, especially when there was someone who Charlie was interested in.

“Why not just give it a shot and ask?”

“I don’t want to I guess mess it up,” he said reminding her of his last relationship. He liked the guy so much, but when push came to shove, they broke up in a very public fashion. It took Charlie a year just to get over the heartache, so she could understand why he was being so cautious about it.

“If I have to start taking chances so do you, I’m not going to push you but maybe next time we come you can try to, well you know.”

“Okay,” he said smiling. “What if we come here every Friday, for the next month, maybe you’ll meet someone too.”

“Right, like that works out so well for me, the last guy I went out with used me as a beard,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah well you win some you lose some,” he said as Josh made his way back towards their table.

“Well,” she said as her Uncle sat down.

“Her name is Maya, and we’re going on a date next Monday because the bar is closed on Mondays.”

“Good for you,” Charlie said smiling at Josh before turning the full force of the grin on Riley. “Riley has decided to come out with us every Friday while I build up the courage to ask someone out.”

“Wait,” she said looking at the two of them. “What, huh?”

“Yeah,” Josh said looking over at her. “This was originally just a plan for us to get together to convince you to stop hiding out and having more fun. Riley, my darling darling niece, you work too damn hard for someone your age, you need to have a little fun.”

She couldn’t help but look at the two of them stunned at what had just happened, her best friend and her Uncle conspiring against her.

“I go out,” she said knowing it was a lie and they knew it too because they both gave her very pointed looks. “Fine, I don’t go out, but I need to save money, I can’t live with Farkle and Isadora and Charlie for the rest of my life.”

���Yes, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop living either,” Josh said to her. “That’s why mom and dad worry, that’s why they are constantly asking me to check up on you.”

“Fine you win, you both win, I’ll go out once a week but that’s it, between school and work it’s impossible to do anything anyway.”

“Actually, I had the school cancel your work study,” Charlie said and all she could do was look over at him stunned at what he had just said. “Listen to me Riley Matthews, you have a full scholarship, and a job, you’re not allowed to have another one.”

“Charlie,” she said smacking his arm. “You,” smack, “Had,” smack, “No freaking right to do that.”

“Riley you’re twenty-three years old, you’ll be twenty-four in December, you need to live a little and not work yourself to death,” Charlie said to her.

“That’s where I come in,” Josh said to her. “Mom found a trust left to you by my brother and sister-in-law, Riley you don’t have to touch anything in it but use it to keep yourself from running ragged, I know you better than anyone else, you try to help everyone, while trying to do everything and at some point, it’s going to be too much.”

“But,” she said quietly.

“No buts,” Josh said. “You need to live please, do it for your parents who loved you.”

“I’ll try,” she said, feeling the sadness in her heart clamp down on her shoulders, she couldn’t remember her parents, but she knows from what everyone had said to her over the years that they had loved her and treasured her, and they would want her to live and be as happy as they were.

It had been a long day, Lucas knew that he still had to do the numbers for the bar, he loved his sister, but she was horrible with math, and he had wanted her to finish school, so he took on the extra work to make sure she had time to study. Especially since she only had one year left before she finished her bachelor’s. She was the artist, he wanted her to keep that dream alive after the way their childhood had been. Their mother was happy with John, and Lucas was glad that for once she had found happiness, but Lucas will always worry it came from the years of their lives that they had spent with his step-father.

So, Lucas worked hard, the few relationships he had had over the years only lasted a week, he preferred quick hook-up to actual relationships, he didn’t have time for clingy people he needed to take care of his family.

“Hey Lucas,” Zay said from behind the bar as he mixed drinks. His best friend wanted nothing more than to be a bartender, he liked the movie Cocktail and just ran with it, plus he was a good cook and helped Lucas manage the bar when he was too busy running his company.

“How’s the day going?” Lucas asked standing behind the bar for a moment, pulling beers up for patrons and helping Zay get everyone their drinks.

“So far so good, Maya got a date with that guy she’s been flirting with for the last two months,” Zay said before pointing the guy out to him. Lucas saw the messy dark hair and the suit and tie and thought that if they lasted it would be a miracle because Maya wasn’t the type to like straight laced guys, but then again neither had his mother and she ended up with a guy who was the superintendent of schools, so he could be completely wrong about this.

“Who’s that he’s with?” he said point the girl out. Lucas had seen the other guy around before, Zay has a soft spot for the other guy in the group, but he hadn’t dated a guy since high school because he had been in a relationship for the last two year, but his girlfriend and him decided to split because it felt more like a friendship than a real relationship. So Zay was afraid of asking the guy out and him not being bi, or gay.

“The girl is new, I’ve never seen her before, Maya was ready to spit in her food because she thought that she was with the guy she like,” Zay said smiling. “Why do we gossip like a bunch of old ladies?”

“Blame my mother she loved those gossip magazines, but I also like to know who comes in here, and whether I need to kick them out,” he stopped for a moment before cycling through what Zay had said. “Did Maya actually spit in her food because I don’t want to lose my license.”

“Nah, the guy got to her before she did anything,” Zay said before mixing a few drinks.

Lucas eyed the table for a moment, “She looks like one of those rich girls with too much time on her hands,” he said watching the brunette smile at the other two guys at her table before he was pulling away from the bar.

“You should know better than to judge people Lucas,” Maya said as she walked behind the bar to grab the drinks for one of the table.

“I’m allowed especially when you want to date my customers,” he said to his sister before pulling away from her.

“Where else am I going to find someone as nice as Josh,” she said with a smirk. “Anyway I don’t have time to go find a different bar to hang out in especially since I live over this one so deal with it.”

“Whatever,” he said before walking towards the back door. “I’m going to work for a minute call if you need anything.”

Once he was out of the front of the bar and in his office where he ran both his businesses he felt calm, he had the place decorated to be comfortable since he worked long hours there. Somedays he shuffled between the bar and his security company, most days he worked directly from the bar because like Maya and Zay he lived above the bar itself. He owned the building, both the bar and the apartments above it so it didn’t matter where he was working from. He lost himself in the numbers, making sure to order the things the bar needed while checking with the night crew from the security side.

He called his mother around ten to tell her about Maya and the suit, his name was Josh according to Maya.

“I wish you would date more often instead of working yourself to death,” his mother said on the other side of the line.

“I’m not working myself to death, and I date, but there’s no one out there that would measure up to your standards,” he said wanting to hit himself in the face with his phone.

His mother sighed from the other side of the phone. “Lucas, I want you to bring a girl to thanksgiving this year, please try a little at least. I know you feel like everything that happened when you were a kid was you trying to protect us, but I want you to be happy my little angel.”

“Fine I’ll go out on some dates, and see if one of them sticks, but I’m not making any promises.”

“It sounds like a promise, but I understand, just have a little fun, and tell your sister to call me, I know she’s avoiding me because of the scratch on my car but it wasn’t that bad and John fixed it.”

“I’ll tell her, love you mom,” he said and when she said that she loved him back he hung up the phone sighing. He knew that his mother would annoy him until he settled down for a moment instead of working too much. He was twenty-five, turning twenty-six in January, but he also knew that his mother was itching to hook him up with a daughter of a friend and he wanted to avoid that situation.

“Whatever,” he mumbled to himself before standing up and stretching, his muscles ached from everything he had done throughout the day. He had to help train two security teams for a large-scale event, as well as a meeting with his managers, and the team leads, so finishing the day off with sitting at his desk wasn’t making anything any better.

Walking out of the office looking for food was the best option for him, especially if it’s a burger and a mountain of fries, he needed to carbs to fill his stomach before finishing up the last of the orders.

“Lucas, I need you,” Maya said peeking her head into the office.

The only time she called him for anything was when something was going badly, with a sigh he walked out to see one of the patrons drunk and by the jukebox blocking the princess from earlier for moving. Maya called him because if she went it would cause the drunk to turn his attention towards her. Zay was stuck behind the bar so all that was left was Lucas since his security for the bar was stuck outside holding the line.

“Come on girl,” the guy said as he rubbed himself against the princess. “You know you want this.”

The drunk was holding her hands down, stopping her from defending herself which was when Lucas saw red and yanked the guy off of her.

“What the hell man, you can get your turn when I’m done,” the guy said before Lucas pulled him towards the door and handed him off to the bouncer, he couldn’t afford to deck the guy, but he was also worried about he woman he had just helped. Her friends hadn’t seen what had happened, when Lucas checked he noticed that the two guys had been at the bar and had missed the interaction.

The woman was rubbing her wrist as she walked towards her table and started grabbing her stuff, “Are you alright?” he asked as he stood in front of her table.

“Uh… um, yeah,” she said but her voice was shaken he could tell that she was going into shock.

“I’m the owner of the bar, if you want you can sit in my office until you’ve regained your composure, or I can call a cab for you,” he said knowing that he had to establish that she was safe first.

She was mumbling to herself before she nodded, and Lucas led her to the back, grabbing a bottle of water on his way there. He handed it to her and sat her down on the couch before moving towards one of the chairs on the other side.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asked but before he could get an answer she started chugging the water in large gulps.

“My friend and my Uncle went to the bar, to order something, honestly it was because my best friend has a crush on your bartender, but I decided to go to the jukebox because I wanted something to do and…,” she sighed for a moment. “I should have just stayed home today.”

He looked at her for a moment, noticing her fingers had burn marks on them, a bandage on her wrist, he wondered if he had been wrong about her. “Why are you here?” he asked curious.

“I was shanghaied into coming, everyone thinks I work too hard, I’m in law school and I have a job and everything, but everyone thinks I don’t know how to have fun, so of course the day they force me to go out something happens,” she said with a sigh. “Thank you for your help, but I should probably go out there and tell them I’m going home.”

“Okay,” he said to her. “But don’t let one bad night discourage you from going out with your friends,” he said thinking that for some reason that he didn’t want her to go anywhere and just talk to him, but if she came back maybe he’d get the chance to see her again.

“Thanks again,” she said as she stood up and left the room, leaving behind the smell of strawberries.

“There’s something in the water,” he murmured to himself thinking about how the moment his mother asks him to date he gets a freaking princess. “I don’t have time for princesses,” he said before going back to his desk and getting back to work.

Dear Jess, 

PLEASE NOTE; These are my thoughts I did this on my own, so if you have any concerns or comments, contact me. Please do not reach out to your ex, or his mother since I haven’t told them about the letter. I thought that was best, but if you disagree then, by all means, reach out. All I ask is that you save your venomous words for me and me only. I hope you’re in a good place to read and understand this. I’m not intending to cause you emotional distress, I hope you're taking care of yourself and that you'll continue to do so.

Also, I assume you’re having some financial problems? Is that why you’ve been unable to pay your rent in full since your separation in April 2019? Are you aware that if you agree to sell the house you’d get quite a bit of money (-payment due for unpaid rent of course)? Food for thought. 

Congrats, I see you have a new boyfriend. He’s a cutie. What type of work does he do? I was sorry to hear that,"Your Son" along with 2 other adult males assaulted him. Good that the local law enforcement was available and assisted as they moved out of the house, now it’s just the two of you. At least until the kids come back. 

I hope things get easier for you. I sympathize with you, and your unfortunate situation. Stay Positive. You’ve got this!

Now let's address your letter to Janet, more importantly, let's address following statements (pulled directly from the letter)

"If you're still following my Tumblr and you read something here that you don't like, that's on you. Maybe you should look away.” 

While I fundamentally agree with your statement that, if someone’s following your page, and they know you personally, then yes they should fully expect what they get. Personally, I don’t understand why this needed to be said but, whatever, it’s your page. 

‘What boggles my six-month-sober mind” 

The fact that your only six months sober may be worrisome for her.

“How you can now hate me so much when you so recently loved me (for loving your son)” 

Mothers normally cares for, or even loves their daughter-in-law(s), but this doesn’t change the fact that the good ones will always give sage advice to their sons. 

“What I have surmised is that Ryan's narrative of what happened (and is still happening) between him and I must have been really terrible for you to instantly turn on me and the kids as well [who thought of you and Brandon as (sorely needed) grandparents].”

Now, we are getting to the meat and potatoes of this well-written letter to your 2nd ex-mother-in-law. What I surmised from your narrative is, the lines are blurred for you. Like you’ve forgotten what lengths moms would go to protect their kids. This is surprising you don't understand, considering how much you support your kids, NO MATTER what they may or may not do. 

“Why you do not approve of him helping me and the kids stay in the house rather than living in a homeless shelter is beyond me and probably one of the cruelest things that I have ever heard have a mother like you saying or doing or thinking about a struggling family (who is legally still your family!) made up of a mother who is in recovery and three kids who are on the verge of becoming grownups and going out into the world to become independent and live on their own.”

Now, I don’t know her exact reasoning but, maybe she doesn’t agree that it's in “Her Son’s” best interest, giving your history together. And, since, you couldn’t afford an apartment or another type of shelter, she may be concerned the mortgage would be paid late, or that it wouldn’t get paid at all. Therefore, possibly impacting ‘Her Son’s future. I know, I get it, you expected her to side with you because she should empathize with your situation, and sympathize because she’s a mother. I’d suggest putting yourself in her position, how would you advise your soon to be adult son’s if they were in the same situation?

“one of the cruelest things that I have ever heard have a mother like you saying or doing or thinking about a struggling family (who is legally still your family!) made up of a mother who is in recovery”

Again, I understand the need to be understood and supported especially during a life-changing event, like divorce. But, expecting that from your ex-mother-in-law may be expecting too much from her. Legality aside. You being in recovery may have added to her advising “Her Son” the way she did, your kids are not their grandchildren to support, that responsibility falls to you and their biological or adoptive father. This may feel cruel, but it is what it is.

“three kids who are on the verge of becoming grownups and going out into the world to become independent and live on their own.”

Okay, this again falls on their parents, expecting this from your ex-husband’s mother may be expecting too much. 

You ought to be ashamed of yourself. You ought to be in therapy. You ought to stop emotionally abusing Ryan.

Okay, it is clear to me what you feel needs to be done, by her. I’m curious, what should you, do to better your situation?

Your soon-to-be-ex daughter in love, Jess

Your ex-husband's mom soon-to-be daughter-in-love

Let’s talk Hashtags

You: #I can’t even imagine being so mean to my son’s ex-girlfriend and she’s only sixteen

Me: #sixteen year old’s hopefully would never be in this type of situation. #Food for thought #not the same situation #notyourson

You:

#A woman your age ought to be traveling and taking watercolor class and going to the gym and getting together with the girls for brunch”

Me:

#she travels often #she prefers baking, and taking care of a home and being the matriarch of the family #went to the gym before COVID-19 and will return when it’s open again #too busy building handmade furniture with her husband #too busy for brunch #family dinner every week #quilter #seamstress #baker of yummy treat #cooks the best homemade Chinese food #Janet is a kind person #engineer #wicked smart #loved and cared for

The iPhone Approach

Note: I apologize with how late this is. I wanted this up like last Wednesday, but life got a hold of me as I had to be a part of my cousin’s wedding. It was great, but I’m glad it’s over. Now, I can focus on the absurdity that has become Little Pirates. I have twelve installments pending. That’s absurd. It’s mad. I don’t know how it happened. Anyway, I really love Henry and I legit plotted such an amazing relationship between him and his siblings that he deserves some focus in the Little Pirates verse, so here’s some Henry, some Harrison and some sassy Beth. As always, thank you @welllpthisishappening​ for being the light of my life. You’re perfect and you’re amazing with your support of the LP/EA universe. Summary: Henry Mills arrives home to Storybrooke to find that his half-brother Harrison has a crush and is in dire need of advice on how to deal with said crush.  Rating: T Word Count: 7,300+

Though he no longer lived in Storybrooke, it still felt like he was coming home whenever he returned to the sleepy Maine town. He always arrived with a hero's welcome; people stopping and embracing him in the street. Archie clapping him out the back and asking about his recent successes while Granny would greet him with a smile and a free slice of cake. His adoptive mother Regina would always take him out for dinner, feeding him expensive lobster while putting him through a second Inquisition about the on-goings of his life. He loved Regina, truly loved her, but nothing was better than arriving at his biological mother Emma’s house and having his little siblings run towards him as fast as their legs could carry them and near tackling him on the front lawn while his mother laughed and his stepfather Hook smirked. 

Growing up, Henry had always wanted little brothers and sisters to play with, but had accepted at a young age it would be incredibly unlikely and that he would spend the rest of his days as an only child. Everything changed when a few months after the Final Battle, Emma and Hook had shyly handed him a t-shirt with the title “World’s Best Older Brother” printed across the chest. He had been in shock and Emma had started rambling about how he was her firstborn and a new baby wouldn’t replace him, but he had cut her off with a hug and had reminded her that he always wanted siblings. 

Now, he had more little siblings than he knew what to do with.

Harrison, the eldest of his younger siblings, was near seventeen and still had yet to curve to enthusiasm of his hugs; thundering down the steps of old house and nearly squeezing the life out of Henry as his arms wrapped around his shoulders. Despite being fourteen years his junior, teenaged Harrison was already a taller and larger man than Henry was so whenever he hugged Henry it felt like he was being swallowed by a mountain.

Even Wes and Beth, who had grown feisty and more aloof in their teenaged years, would set aside their anti-adult agenda and look at him like a god; often hanging on his every word whenever he spoke about the new happenings in his life. Beth would curl into his side, hugging his arm and laugh as freely as she did when she was little girl while Wes would watch his every movement with rapid attention. His blue eyes would never leave Henry's form and sometimes he would even mimic his body language. At first Henry had found it a little unnerving but had grown to accept it; imitation was the greatest form of flattery.

And then, there was Neddy who broke his heart every time Henry saw him. Neddy, the youngest of Henry’s siblings, was growing like a weed and kept getting bigger and bigger every time Henry saw him. It amazed him how fast the baby that they had affectionately called “Bug” was becoming a charming, thoughtful little boy who seemed to have skipped out on the Jones rambunctiousness. Where Harrison, Beth and Wes would always fidget and couldn’t sit still for very long, Neddy was content to blob himself down on someone’s lap and let himself be adored. He seemed to enjoy burrowing himself into Henry’s chest and having his eldest brother comb his hands through those untamable curls, closing his eyes and listening as Henry updated them all on the comings and goings in his life.

This time, however, he had no Neddy, no Beth, no Wes and not even a smirking Hook to hug him and give him a firm manly pat on the back. Just his biological mother looking haggard and worn while Harrison looked like he could barely keep his eyes open. Both of them gave him half-heartedly hugs and despite Harrison’s lack of enthusiasm, Henry still felt like he was being swallowed by a mountain. He chuckled a bit at that.

“Where is everyone?” Henry asked as he released Emma from his arms.

“Killian and I had an emergency call last night and we didn’t get home until five in the morning, so he was kind enough to let me sleep in and went the station early. Beth is with your grandparents. She and Ruthie had a slumber party and I’m pretty sure I’ll get a full report from my mother how much damage your sister caused to the barn later today. Wes is now doing the paper route with Gideon so he left at the crack of dawn. I’m also pretty sure I’m also going to get a full report on how many windows they’ve broken. And Neddy is at...camp,” Emma fired off, ending the explanation with a yawn.

“Camp? Isn’t Bug too young for camp?” Henry frowned. He did a mental calculation in his head to make sure that Neddy suddenly wasn’t older than he remembered. Nope, the kid was still seven. He felt a bit of relief. He didn’t need Neddy to get any older. The kid was already growing up too fast for his liking.

“Well, he’s supposed to be eight for sleepover baseball camp, but he’s following in Harrison’s footsteps of doing things younger than he should. Jim Holt, Katheryn’s new husband? You remember him right? Well, he’s the baseball coach for little league and he is convinced that we have the next Aaron Judge, whatever that means, on our hands so he made an exception,” Emma replied, rubbing his eyes.

Henry had never felt so out of the loop until that moment. The last time he had been in Storybrooke was only a few months ago and he was pretty sure that Neddy had been obsessed with dinosaurs then and wanted to be a paleontologist; it had been painfully adorable to watch him say such an advanced word with enthusiasm and then explain exactly what a paleontologist was to an already knowing Henry.

“I didn’t even realized Bug liked baseball…” he muttered, running his hand through his hair.

“Bug is obsessed with baseball. He can probably tell you the pitching rotation for the Yankees if you asked, but only if you asked. Bug’s smart and he keeps the baseball talk on the down low. It’s a bit of a sore subject with Dad,” Harrison replied, slapping a hand on Henry’s shoulder.

Henry’s confusion only grew with Harrison’s words. He couldn’t imagine his stepfather being anything but supportive of their interests. When Henry was seventeen, Hook had pretended to care about motorcycles because Henry wanted one so badly and when he had finally gotten his old battered motorcycle, he had even helped with the repairs. This had continued with the younger ones. When Harrison wanted to learn how to do card tricks, Hook had helped. Despite his dislike of magic, Hook had helped find books on magic for Westley. He had even helped Beth give a stuffed animal “surgery” when it’s arm had fallen off. Why Hook wouldn’t be just as supportive of Neddy’s love for baseball was beyond him.

“Well, baseball is a two-handed sport, Henry,” Harrison said with a sad smile. “You can’t necessarily play it when you’ve got a hook for a hand. I mean he can throw, but he can’t catch. He can’t even swing a bat. You should have seen his face when Neddy asked David to play catch with him. I actually thought Dad was gonna cry.”

“He was cool with Bug going to baseball camp though?” Henry asked, still frowning.

Both Emma and Harrison tensed at bit at the question and shared a looked. Everyone kept going on about how much Harrison looked like Hook, but in this moment, Henry could only see their mother in his mannerisms. They had the same nervous expression, complete with tense shoulders and an identical small shaky smile.

“Well, he knows that Bug is at camp…” Emma trailed, looking at Harrison to back her up.

“He just doesn’t know it’s particularly baseball camp that he’s at,” Harrison finished, scratching a bit behind his left ear and shifting from side to side as if the power of Henry’s stare was enough to make him squirm.

“Great,” Henry laughed with false cheer. “So, you’re not entirely lying to Hook. You’re just not telling the truth either. Glad not much has changed over the years.”

“Henry Daniel!” Emma exclaimed, sounding half-shocked and half-indignant. She placed her hands on her hips and assumed what Henry liked to call “mom pose” since both Regina and Emma had a habit of standing like that whenever they were pissed at him.

“I’m a thirty-two-year-old man, Mom, you can’t send me to my room anymore when you don’t like what I have to say,” Henry responded with a slight roll of his eyes. “But in all seriousness, Hook deserves to know that Bug is at baseball camp even if it hurts.”

There was a silent terse moment between mother and son. Emma stared Henry down with a stern look, but Henry refused to bend, especially when he knew he was in the right. While he knew that for the most part, Hook and Emma had a very good relationship, he was also aware that they had idiot moments where they felt the need to hide things in order to keep each other from getting upset. Henry found it a bit juvenile but even the best relationships weren’t exactly perfect. His grandparents on both sides had the same habit, which led Henry to believe it might be a genetic thing. Henry saw Harrison shift uncomfortably in the corner of his eye.

“How about we go to Granny’s and catch up on everything?” Harrison asked awkwardly after a moment.

Henry sighed and glanced over at his younger brother, who seemed to be screaming with his eyes to let it go and to just agree with the plan. He was practically vibrating with nervous energy and though Harrison was now seventeen, Henry could see still the intelligent but incredibly anxious child who used to hide behind Henry’s leg when he’s feeling particularly shy. Harrison did not like it when there was conflict in the family, which really put him at odds with Wes who seemed to thrive on chaos. However, Harrison had been doing better with tackling all the absurd issues that had happened over the years ever since Archie had prescribed him an anxiolytic to take, but he still did not like it whenever his family fought.

“Sounds great, Har,” Henry replied with a tight smile before shooting Emma a quick look to let her know that he wasn’t going to let the issue go.

Henry patted Harrison on the shoulder as they started their walk towards the middle of town. Briefly, he missed the days when Harrison was smaller than he was and he could wrap an arm around his little brother, but those days had long since passed.

Granny Lucas, as predicted, smiled broadly when they entered the diner, but instead of hugging Henry, she made a beeline for Harrison and hugged him around the middle. Harrison’s face flushed scarlet for a moment before he smiled and patted the old woman on the back.

“I’m assuming that the hug is because the jukebox works again?” Harrison asked and Henry could hear a bit of amusement in his voice.

“Exactly, all thanks to my favorite handyman,” Granny responded, before reaching up on her toes to pat Harrison on the cheek fondly. “You, my boy, have a gift and because of that gift, your bacon, egg and cheese sandwich is on the house.”

“My bacon, egg and cheese is always on the house,” Harrison said with a shake of his head, but his eyes held the same fondness the old woman did.

“And you!” Granny Lucas turned her attention from Harrison to Henry. “I haven’t seen you in ages, Mr. Mills. I was beginning to wonder if you had forgotten about me!”

Henry let out a merry laugh in respond, smiling as Granny Lucas let go of Harrison in order to give him the hug that he had been quietly waiting for ever since they had entered the diner. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a fierce hug of his own.

“I could never forget about you, Granny,” he replied with a laugh.

“You were always a sweet one, Henry Mills. I don’t have any cake. It’s too early. But how about some pie? I have some blueberry pie waiting with your name on it if you want it,” she offered as she appraised him.

“Well, it’s never too early for pie.”

Granny gave Henry his own pat on the cheek before leading them over to their designated booth. She didn’t bother asking for their orders or even giving them a menu, but rather turned to a harassed looking waitress and gestured for her to go get drinks.

Henry sat opposite of his mother and next to Harrison, glancing around the diner. It was a late Saturday morning and the entire placed was packed with people who were all in various stages of eating and ordering their breakfast. He was slightly unnerved by the fact that he didn’t recognize half of them. Storybrooke was a small town and he had grown up knowing nearly everyone but this was no longer the case.

A waitress arrived with two mugs of coffee and a hot chocolate. She placed the hot chocolate in front of Emma while handing off the coffees to Henry and Harrison. Henry frowned as he watched his younger brother take a sip.

“I didn’t think you liked coffee…” Henry said, gesturing towards the mug.

“I don’t, but I like staying awake,” Harrison responded absently.

“Should you be drinking that while you’re on anti-anxiety medication, Har? I mean, caffeine isn’t supposed to be good for people with that kind of stress. I’ve read a lot of reports on how it enhances insomnia, panic attacks and shakes,” Henry started to lecture, but stopped when he realized that Harrison wasn’t even paying attention. His entire being was focused on whatever was happening over by the bar.

Henry followed Harrison’s line to sight and nearly did a double take when he realized exactly who Harrison was staring at. It took him a moment to recognize her, but Jasmine of Agrabah was sitting at the counter with a mug of tea with a teenaged girl who Henry could only assume was her daughter because she resembled Jasmine just as strikingly as Harrison resembled Hook. She was a small but pretty thing with long raven black hair and kind brown eyes. Like her mother she was dressed in jade colored silks and golden jewelry. She seemed to realize that someone was watching her and she turned her head towards Harrison, meeting his gaze. She offered him a small shy smile, which Harrison returned.

It hit Henry like a ton of bricks. Harrison had a crush.

Henry was used to girls looking at Harrison. Since he turned thirteen, Harrison had attracted looks, which never surprised Henry because he was a good looking kid. It had taken him awhile to accept that people found his baby brother, whose diapers Henry had changed more times than he could count, sexually attractive but it had always helped that Harrison had consistently and purposely ignored these looks. As handsome as Harrison was, he didn't seem trust anyone and was under the impression that the girls didn't like him for who he was but rather who his parents were. It didn't necessarily help that everyone seemed to trip up and call Harrison "Hook" once and awhile.

No, people looked at Harrison but Harrison didn't look back. Until now. Henry wasn't sure how he felt about this.

"Henry," Emma called impatiently, breaking him away from his revelation. "Henry, Harrison can drink coffee. It was one of the first things I looked up when Archie prescribed it to him. What kind of mother do you think I am?"

"You're a good one, Mom," Henry admitted with a smile. "But people have a habit of keeping ridiculous things from each other in this family."

Emma rolled her eyes at his words, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"Thin ice, kid. Thin ice."

A waitress arrived shortly with a bacon, egg and cheese on a bagel, a generous slice of blueberry pie and a short stack of pancakes. Henry took his pie with a smile and glanced over at Harrison who was looking at down at his breakfast sandwich then back at the girl next to Jasmine at the bar. Henry watched as Harrison seemed to come to a decision.

"I'm gonna get ketchup," Harrison said finally, placing his napkin next to his plate and getting up.

Henry frowned in confusion at Harrison’s announcement. He glanced towards the end of the table, spying a bottle of ketchup next to the salt and pepper shakers. He snorted. The boy was up to something and Henry would bet good money it had to do with the girl sitting next to Jasmine.

"I really don't want to fight while you're home, Henry," Emma said quietly.

"And I really don't want you to lie to my father. I know you don't mean it maliciously, but how hurt is Hook gonna be when he finds out?"

Emma said nothing in response, focusing all of her attention on her short stack, attacking them viciously with her fork. Not wanting to wait for a response he knew he wasn't going to get, Henry decided to focus his attention on Harrison who was leaning against the bar and chatting with Jasmine's daughter. Both of them were still wearing shy smiles and Harrison's cheeks with stained with a faint blush. The girl in question, kept giggling and looking down at her feet while playing with her hair. Was this what he and Violet looked like when they had spoken for the first time?

Henry took a sip of his coffee as he continued to watch them. The size difference was almost comical. Even sitting on one of the bar chairs, the girl looked rather small and Harrison, even while slouching, seemed impossibly large. People were normally intimidated by Harrison's size upon meeting him but it didn't take most long to realize that Harrison was more nervous about them than they were about him. The kid had a heart almost as large as he was and he cared so much about what people thought. However, at the moment Harrison didn't look as anxious as he normally did. He looked suspiciously pleased. Still nervous, but also pleased.

Henry felt a mixture of emotions quell in him as he continued to observe them. He felt some pride in the fact that Harrison was having a conversation with a girl without looking like he wanted to jump out of his skin and get away from her as soon as possible. This was a long time coming. She seemed to be as into him as he was in her, which was a good sign. It probably helped that she was new in town and didn’t have the same expectations of him that everyone else seemed to have. However, Henry was still uneasy. This was his kid brother. Though he was now seventeen and the size of a small skyscraper, Harrison would also be the little boy who Henry named and would cuddle with him as they watched Star Wars. There was a flare of protectiveness there. He didn’t want him getting hurt. Harrison was special and he didn’t want that big heart of his being broken over some girl.

Henry glanced back at his mother who was sipping on her coffee and looked lost to the world, caught in the web of her own thoughts. She didn’t seem to realize that her seventeen-year old son had taken ten minutes on a “ketchup run.” He knew he wasn’t going to get any headway on the baseball camp front, so he decided to switch gears a bit.

“So…this is that what I looked like when I was mooning over Violet?” Henry asked casually as he took a sip from his coffee.

Emma nearly spat out her drink at the question. Henry smiled in amusement as she harshly swallowed. She winced a bit and Henry was pretty sure she had burned her mouth.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, placing her hot chocolate down on the table shakily.

The mug wobbled against the linoleum, hot liquid splashing over the side. Emma sighed and dabbed at the spill with her paper napkin.

“Har,” Henry nodding his nod towards the counter with a broad grin. “He’s over there, talking to Jasmine’s girl. Honestly, it’s kinda funny to see him all lovestruck. I mean, look at those ears, they’re bright red.”

Emma’s eyes went wide and she immediately turned her head to look towards the bar where Harrison was now laughing at whatever the girl had said. His head was tilted back, green eyes crinkling and it reminded Henry of the way his stepfather and mother were whenever they thought know no one watching. The girl brushed her hair over her shoulder, obviously pleased with Harrison’s reaction. Henry glanced back at Emma who was staring at her son in a mixture of disbelief, shock and maternal protectiveness. She looked torn between wanting to snatch her son away and wanting to see where Harrison and this girl would go.

“Harrison is talking to a girl…” Emma breathed in disbelief.

“Yeah. It shouldn’t be surprising. I mean, he’s a good-looking kid. It was bound to happen someday,” Henry replied with a casual shrug.

“Shut up. You know what I mean,” Emma said, leaning over the table to push Henry’s shoulder. “Harrison is so shy around people. People talk to him, he just mumbles unless it’s us. He’s a great kid but no one seems to realize he actually does have this crazy sarcastic personality because he just shells up around anyone who isn’t family. I mean, he’s honest to god having a conversation with her. This never happens.”

“Well, to be honest Mom, Harrison has never talked to anyone who wasn’t from Storybrooke before. I mean, I hate to say it, but growing up with you and Hook as parents couldn’t have been the easiest. Everyone expects him to be like you. It’s a lot of pressure. I was actually gonna suggest that he spent the summer with me so he can get out of here and realize there’s more to the world than what’s going on in Storybrooke.”

Emma’s lips pursed more at his words and Henry caught a hint of guilt in her expression. She glanced down at her mug of hot chocolate, releasing a small sigh.

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea,” she half-said, half-mumbled. “Though, I thought the music thing was really helping him. I mean, he’s really good and you should see how calm he gets whenever he’s playing. You can’t even tell that he’s an anxious mess half the time.”

“I have seen him play and he’s pretty awesome at guitar. A regular Jimi Hendrix without the drugs. And I agree that music has been a great outlet for him, but I don’t think it’s enough. Seriously, one summer with me where he’s just a normal kid. I think it would do him a world of good.” Henry tossed out his pitch again.

Emma wasn't paying attention to him anymore. Her focus was back on the pair of teenagers at the bar and her expression was growing more and more concerned. Henry glanced back at Harrison and the girl and his eyes went wide as he witnessed the girl shift her hand over Harrison's on the countertop, her thumb rubbing his. He expected then for Harrison to shy away from the obvious affection, but he didn't. Harrison merely glanced down at their hands then looked back up at her with a smile and continued the conversation as normal. Henry wasn’t sure if he felt proud of Harrison or ready to jump out of his own skin over the fact this was even happening.

"I think I need to Jasmine about her Agrabah problem at the station," Emma stated faintly.

"Can't you talk to her here? I mean she's right there," Henry respond, gesturing with his hand towards the woman in question.

"I don't think Jasmine wants me discussing her problems in public," Emma responded quickly.

"Or you're just feeling protective of your baby boy. He's fine, Mom."

Emma didn't respond, she just got up from her seat and went over to Jasmine. She gently touched the Queen of Agrabah's shoulder and gestured towards the door. Jasmine quietly agreed before nudging her daughter and breaking the conversation between the girl and Harrison. Henry watched as the grin on Harrison's smile melted away in a blatant look of disappointment. The girl looked equally dismayed by this and gave Harrison an apologetic look. Henry sighed, rubbing his temples. Trust Emma Swan to let her over protective mom instincts ruin Harrison's big moment.

As Jasmine and her daughter paid their bill, Emma returned to the table.

"I'm heading over to the station so Jasmine and I can talk. Do you mind staying here and paying the bill?"

"Sure. But that was unnecessary. Harrison finally takes to a girl and you freak out. Why can't you just be happy for him?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Henry gave her a disbelieving look.

"Our brave little mountain deserves to be happy and have little hill babies," Henry said, holding back a smirk as his mother's face turned purple.

"Henry Daniel Mills, I am not afraid to smack you across the ear."

“Not fourteen anymore, Mom,” he chided her gently.

Before the conversation could go any further, Henry’s younger sister Beth made her appearance, swinging casually around Emma and into the seat their mother had once occupied. She picked up a strawberry which had been lining Emma’s plate and popped it into her mouth unabashedly.

“Hey Henry. I didn’t know you were in town this weekend,” Beth greeted, red berry staining her lips and teeth as she spoke. She looked positively ridiculous with strawberry juice messily dripping over her mouth and chin but also incredibly tired. Henry couldn’t imagine the shenanigans she and Ruthie had gotten up to the night before. He hoped that his grandmother and grandfather weren’t dead from the combined efforts of Henry’s sister and young aunt.

“I was in the neighborhood and thought I would pop by. Heard you slept over in the barn last night. You have fun, Little Beth?” Henry asked, bringing his coffee mug back up to his lips to hide his smile.

“I didn’t blow it up, if that’s what you’re subtly trying to ask,” she replied, helping herself to Emma’s pancakes by taking a generous bite.

She chewed thoughtfully for a moment before drizzling a generous amount of maple syrup onto the short stack. Henry saw Emma’s jaw clench out of the corner of his eye and did his best to keep from snickering.

“You know what? I’m not even mad that you just sat down and helped yourself to my breakfast,” Emma said finally in a tight voice. “I have to go to the station with Jasmine to talk about her Agrabah issues. You two can stay here and pay the bill with Harrison. Have fun!”

Emma gave them a half-hearted wave goodbye before heading out of the diner, shaking her head as she went. When she finally left the establishment, Henry allowed himself to chuckle a little bit.

“Where’s Har Bear?” Beth frowned, tilting her head to side and looking at the empty space next to the Henry in the booth as if she somehow expected him to just appear there. Perhaps she was under the impression that their brother owned an invisibility cloak. The thought made Henry snort.

“He’s at the bar. Talking to a girl,” Henry responded, trying to be nonchalant.

Beth blinked for a moment, glanced over at the top where the girl was saying her goodbyes to Harrison before heading off to follow Jasmine and Emma out of the diner. She scoffed, rolled her eyes in a typical teenage fashion before taking another bite out of Emma’s pancakes and taking out her phone.

“Ah. Nasira,” she responded in a dismissive tone. “He’s nuts for her. She likes the fact he can play guitar and that she doesn’t know how uncool he is. It will pass.”

“Nasira?” Henry asked, raising his eyebrows in silent inquiry.

“Yeah, Nasira. Jasmine’s daughter. The one who keeps making eyes at Harrison, which is totally gross for the record. Unless you’re talking about some other girl. Like maybe Harrison finally lost and decided to give one of the Baby Hook fangirls a chance,” Beth clarified while continuing to stuff her face with pancakes.

“Baby…Hook…fangirls…?” Henry repeated slowly, feeling entirely weirded out by the phrase alone.

Beth gave him another knowing smirk that was pure Killian Jones and it was so eerie to see it on her that Henry nearly shivered. That type of expression did not belong on a thirteen-year-old girl’s face.

“Don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answer to, Henry.”

“I shudder to think what questions he’s asking,” Harrison said lightly as he returned to the table, giving them both a flickering smile that didn’t necessarily reach his eyes.

Henry automatically moved over to make more room for his brother, shifting himself and his pie further down in the booth. Harrison gave a nod of thanks before sitting back down beside Henry and picking up his sandwich. Beth gave them both an unimpressed look before returning to her phone, fingers tapping against the screen at almost an alarming rate. Henry was certain no one texted faster than his sister.

“So…no ketchup?” Henry asked after a brief moment of silence.

Harrison blinked, looking at him in confusion.

“What?”

“Did Granny not have ketchup? I mean, that’s the whole reason you left in the first place, right?” Henry asked slyly, trying and failing not to smile. He saw Beth glance up from her phone briefly at the corner of his eye to watch the exchange.

“No. No ketchup,” Harrison said quickly, taking another huge bite of his bagel sandwich in a not so subtle attempt to keep from talking.

“Good thing that we have a perfectly full bottle right here then,” Henry said casually, picking up the ketchup bottle at the end of the table and placing it in front of him. Harrison’s eyes bulged at the sight of it and Beth cackled with wicked delight.

“Smooth, Jones, smooth,” Beth snickered, completely ignoring the daggers that Harrison was shooting at her with his eyes.

“Awesome. Thanks, Henry!” Harrison replied with false cheer, taking the ketchup bottle and placing it next to his plate. He made no move to open it or put any sauce on his sandwich or plate, but Henry didn’t expect him to.

“I honestly don’t know who you’re trying to fool. Harrison, I changed your diapers. I named you after the coolest actor in Hollywood history. I know you don’t put ketchup on your sandwiches. You hate ketchup. You call it the Devil’s sauce. So, let’s cut to the chase. Who’s the girl?”

Harrison’s entire face flushed scarlet; even the tips of his ears are a bit red. Henry and Beth watched him with quirked eyebrows and ghosting smiles.

“What girl?” Harrison asked, playing dumb.

Both Henry and Beth groaned at his response, sharing an exasperated look across the table. Beth gave Henry a shrug as if to say “I don’t know what to tell you” before returning her attention to her phone, obviously losing patience with Harrison.

“Really? That’s the answer you’re going with?” Henry asked, shaking his head.

“This is both painful and pitiful,” Beth remarked, rolling her eyes.

“Honestly, kid, I thought we were closer than this and that you were better than this.” Henry said, giving his younger brother a look. “You literally were just talking to her. I saw you plainly. The puppy looks. The near hand holding. The smiling. The fact that you actually didn’t choke on your own tongue. Give us the goods.”

“Fine, fine!” Harrison exclaimed with a huff, lifting his hands up in mock surrender. “Her name is Nasira. She’s the crown princess of Agrabah.”

Henry couldn’t help his grin.

“Look at you! Finding yourself an actual princess! You’re doing the real Han Solo proud!” Henry crowed. “What is she like?”

“She’s really sweet, likes mint tea and wants to see me play guitar. She also sees me for just me. Not just as an extension of Mom and Dad. She’s also way out of my league,” Harrison responded with a sigh.

“You gotta stop putting yourself down, Har,” Henry said with a frown. “I know you don’t think you are, but you’re amazing catch. You’re, and never tell Hook I’m quoting him on this because I will never hear the end of it, “devilishly handsome”, got a good head on your shoulders, one of the best hearts I know and you’re a musician. Girls love musicians. Right, Beth?”

“Sure,” Beth responded half-heartedly, focused on whatever was happening on her phone.

“Real supportive there, Little Beth, real supportive. I thought you had my back on this,” Henry admonished her.

“Eh. You don’t need me. You’re doing a stellar awkward pep talk on your own. Don’t need my help there,” she said, stealing Henry’s coffee mug and taking a sip.

“Seriously?” Henry asked, gesturing to the mug in mild annoyance. “You can’t order your own?”

“Pirate,” she replied, still not looking up from her phone. “Things taste better when they’re been pilfered.”

“Do you even know what the word ‘pilfered’ means?” Harrison asked, taking a drink from his own mug.

At the question, Beth looked up from her phone and gave her brother the dirtiest look she was capable of. She looked disturbingly like Emma.

“I’m not an idiot,” she said, voice dripping with disdain. “Pilfered, verb, past tense. It means to steal, generally in reference to things of little value. Synonyms are steal, thieve, take, snatch, loot or purloin. It was the SAT word of the week. College Board loves to send that crap to the family email. I was looking for an invoice from Apple about all the music I may or may not have downloaded this weekend when I read it. Dropped thirty dollars. Mom would have lost it if she found out.”

Henry debated telling Beth that their mother was going to find out about the missing thirty dollars when she looked at the banking statements, but decided against it. It seemed like a lesson that needed to be learned. Beth was getting a little too big for her britches. Being knocked down a few pegs would do her some good. Instead, Henry decided to focus back on the subject of Harrison’s girl situation.

“So, you like this girl?”

“Like her? She’s amazing and perfect and wonderful,” Harrison responded, looking down at his plate.

“You should ask her out. I’m sure Hook is more than happy to give you some suggestions,” Henry said gently.

“No!” Harrison replied, almost violently. “No. We are not getting Dad involved in this. The second Dad gets involved, I’m screwed. I mean, I love him. He’s great, but we are two different people. Very different people. He’s all big gestures and extroverted and I’m…an awkward turtle.”

Beth snickered across the table at Harrison’s self-lamentation. Henry leaned forward and gave her a swift kick in the shin in order to silence her. The snickering stopped, but Henry was given a scathing look from his younger sister for his efforts. He rose his eyebrows in silent challenge. Beth merely rolled her eyes and went back to her phone.

“You’re not an awkward turtle, Har. You’re sweet. And she seems to like sweet,” Henry said, placing his hand on Harrison’s shoulder. “And yeah, I kinda get it. I was a bit like you when I was younger, reserved and such. I might have something that could help you in a more subtle fashion.”

Harrison’s eyes lit up and he looked at Henry like he was his personal savior. Henry was used to his siblings looking up to him and admiring him, but this was more worshipful. It was like Harrison thought he was giving him salvation and maybe to a seventeen-year-old kid, he was.

“Tell me everything,” Harrison practically begged in a voice barely above a whisper. “I am your ever eager apprentice. Your padawan. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”

Henry laughed.

“Calm down, Skywalker,” he said, still chuckling. He shifted in his seat, placing a hand in his pocket to pull out his phone. “This magical device right here is an iPhone. I’m pretty sure you have one. It is a powerful tool that will win the heart of any fair maiden who is not of this realm.”

The look of worship and hope melted off Harrison’s face in a near instance. He looked at the phone in Henry’s hand than back at Henry’s face before looking at the phone again. His face was colored in a variety of emotions, mainly disbelief and annoyance.

“You’re joking,” he scoffed.

“Not even remotely.”

Harrison stared at him for a moment, jaw working in frustration. Henry would have actually felt threatened by it if it had been on his stepfather’s face rather than his younger brother’s. Harrison was a mountain of a human being, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly unless he felt he had to.

“A phone? Really? You should quit your job as a writer and go into advertising for Apple. I actually kinda hate you right now.”

Henry couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Impossible. I’m your favorite older brother,” Henry stated with a grin. “And don’t knock the phone. It might get you laid. Hell, it got me my first girlfriend. Violet, remember her?”

“Bullshit,” Harrison exclaimed, shaking his head. “This is insane. You’re insane. I’m being serious right now and you’re just messing with me. Henry, for real, I know this is funny to you, but I really like her and I want to ask her out, but I’m like the farthest thing from cool.”

“Damn straight you’re not cool.” Wes’s voice called from above them.

Both Harrison and Henry looked up to see their younger brother approach and slide into the booth next to Beth, effectively shoving her to the side. She glared at him, giving him an elbow in the ribs, but Wes was more focused on Henry and Harrison. A small smirk was fixed upon his lips and his eyes were dancing with mischief. He looked positively up to no good.

“Hey Henry,” Wes said, taking the mug that Beth had stolen and taking a sip as well. Henry internally sighed. Nothing seemed to be sacred in this family. “Long time, no see.”

“Hey Westley. Still in fine form I see,” Henry returned the greeting, leaning forward and taking his rightful coffee mug directly out of Wes’s hands and reclaiming it by taking a drink. Wes scowled, but Henry ignored it.

“So, why are we talking about Harrison’s rather obvious uncool-ness for?” Wes asked, deciding to not fight Henry on the coffee issue and instead focusing on needling his other older brother.

Harrison’s jaw clenched.

“Do not make me lift you over my head in front of this entire diner,” Harrison hissed. Henry’s jaw nearly dropped at the threat. He knew that Harrison was more than capable of bench pressing anyone in Granny’s Diner, but Harrison had never been one for violence.

Wes didn’t look taken aback though. If anything, he looked amused, as if he had gotten the reaction he wanted.

“Calm down, Superman. No need to get feisty. What’s got you all riled up this morning? Lex Luther pee in your cornflakes?”

“Harrison is freaked out because he likes a girl and doesn’t know how to ask her out. He’s making a lot of something out of nothing. She likes him already. Like to a point where I’m almost embarrassed for her,” Beth responded for Harrison. She gave them all another unimpressed look over her phone and Henry wondered briefly where the hell she learned to do that.

“And how do you know that?” Harrison asked, raking his hands through his hair. Henry squeezed the hand still resting on Harrison’s shoulder sympathetically.

Beth scowled, looking as if Harrison had personally insulted her.

“Because it’s so obvious.”

“And how is it obvious? You’ve been on your phone the entire time. I haven’t seen you even look up once,” Harrison countered.

In a fit of frustration, Beth slammed her phone down on the table and rolled her eyes at them. She gave them a sarcastic smile before she spoke.

“Please. I’m a girl. I know these things. She laughs when you’re not even funny and flips her hair over her shoulder. Plus she was leaning a bit so you could get a view down her shirt. Not that she has much there, mind you, but she wanted you to look, Boy Scout,” she said before doing a perfect rendition of Nasira flipping her hair and batting her eyelashes at Harrison. She even added a small fake giggle for the full effect.

Wes let out a loud belly laugh at Beth’s antics, shaking his head while Harrison’s jaw dropped again. Henry couldn’t help but be a bit impressed with the imitation.

“Alright, alright, I change my advice,” Henry said with an amused smile. “Forget everything I said. Listen to Little Beth. She’s your secret weapon about the girl world. She’s the real master here. What your advice, kid? Give us your girlie wisdom.”

“I almost don’t want to help since you used the term “girlie wisdom” but since it’s Harrison’s butt on the line and not yours, I’m willing to over look it,” she said, twisting her lips into a scowl.

She looked straight at Harrison, regarding him seriously before speaking again.

“Screw the iPhone. Screw the pirate pick up lines Dad might have used. Don’t even listen to a word Wes says because he’s wrong. Like every word that leaves his mouth is wrong,” Beth said with a start.  “Just go up to her and say the following ‘Hey Nasira, I’m a ridiculous nervous-wreck of a human being who is also an idiot. I’ve been half in love with you since the moment I saw your face. Against your better judgment, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?’”

“And you think that will work?” Harrison asked skeptically.

“Yes. Stop questioning me. Go find her and just do it already, man. You’re a Jones. Find some self-confidence, please and thank you.”

Harrison must have taken this advice to heart because a week later, Henry was sitting in his kitchen with his phone in hand as he was on FaceTime with Harrison and Nasira. The latter was formally introduced to Henry as Harrison’s girlfriend and while Henry tried to get details on their first date, Nasira seemed more preoccupied with how the call was taking place.

“So, he’s thousands of miles away and we’re talking to him through this thing? This phone?” she asked, eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Correct,” Henry confirmed with a nod.

“What sorcery is this?” she breathed, amazed.

“Not sorcery, technology,” Harrison stated, placing a kiss on her cheek. Henry couldn’t help but be proud with how casual his younger brother was being with his affection.

“This technology, this phone, it’s amazing,” she exclaimed, looking very excited. “You must explain how it works. I want to know everything.”

“iPhone approach would have so worked,” Henry muttered quietly under his breath.

“What was that?” Harrison frowned. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“Nothing, Har Bear. Absolutely nothing.”

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 50)

Weiss blinked. “What.”

“You're a Fae/Human hybrid,” Penny repeated. “Your vitae vine data has shown that you have unmistakably Fae genes in your DNA, which explains why your body and mind has been so quick to adapt to everything here in the Valley—part of it already was, before you even arrived here.”

Weiss stood there, staring at her.

Abner picked up a fancy wooden chair, and put it behind Weiss; Penny gently helped her into it.

“H-how long…?” Weiss whispered. “How didn’t anyone…? Who…?!”

“Err, well, since I’m assuming you’re asking for ‘How long’ your family has had Fae blood in it, ‘How didn’t anyone’ know, and ‘Who’ was the one hiding animal ears and tails, or an older relative that had them...” Abner said.

“For the first: we don’t know.

“You're several generations from your full-blooded Fae ancestor; your human traits were naturally more dominant and/or expressed themselves more blatantly than your Fae traits, like with Ruby's sister Yang; or you're very recent, but whoever did know was smart enough to modify your genetic code so you're essentially human.

“For the second: the trend of 'Designer Descendants' unintentionally gave inter-species liaisons the perfect, socially acceptable cover to erase the fact that, well, one parent wasn't entirely human, or human at all!”

“Then who was it?!” Weiss snapped. “Was it my mom? My father? My grandparents?!” she shot out of her seat and stormed up to Abner. “Tell me! And don't give me any of that 'Not authorized' bullshit, this is my family you're talking about!”

Abner raised his hands, all four of his spider-limbs following suit. “I would sincerely love to so we could begin to accurately map out your lineage, but unfortunately, I really don't know! The Council likes to keep very accurate records, but obviously there are things we can't keep track of, and individuals that don't fall through the cracks so much as they intentionally seek them out, and dive through without hesitation and without a trace.

“For all we know, your Fae ancestor could have been a Celestian, where the Council has no dominion—and the folks there are notoriously good at hiding every last trace that they even exist—or they were from one of the independent tribes in Sekhmet!

“In the latter case, I sincerely wish you luck trying to find them, if they haven't already been killed and eaten by scrabs, or any of the other horrors lurking in the sands.”

“So what CAN you tell me?!”

“That hybrids like you are not that rare,” Abner replied. “Certainly, we don't have many first generation Fae-Human hybrids running around in all of Avalon—Ruby, for example—but if I had to guess, 10% or less of the total population have some form of ancestry with the Fae.

“Aside from the fact that both of our societies have long been capable of removing most boundaries for any two individuals to have biological children, later generations or almost entirely human hybrids like yourself and Yang have been shown to be able to reproduce with humans no problem, and vice-versa for those that were born with ears and tails like Ruby.”

“Shouldn't have this have shown up somewhere?” Weiss asked. “You can buy mods off the Info-Grid to change your bioligical gender AND be capable of having children AND make them however you want them!

“It's practically one of the best sellers!”

“It should have indeed!” Abner said. “But, you know: politics! Humans and Fae society aren't exactly strangers to gigantic cover-ups, modification, and even outright erasure of facts, history, and new discoveries that would prove to be… quite disruptive to the peaceful order of things!

“And on a less ominous note: accidents, natural disasters, and mistakes DO happen, and regularly.”

Weiss glared at him, her hands balled into fists. “So I'll probably never know anything and it’s going to stay a huge mystery, is that what you're saying?!”

Abner thought about it. “… Pretty much, yes!”

Weiss screamed in frustration, before she turned to Penny, her expression not angry, but hurt. “You knew...?” she whispered, her voice trembling. “All this time, you knew…?”

Penny frowned, and nodded her head sadly. “For what it's worth, I really did want to tell you, but--”

“The Council didn't want me to know, until I was down here deep underground, with a man that they enslaved 500 years ago because he was dumb enough to fall for the Keeper's tricks, right?!” Weiss snapped. “What are you going to do if I say 'No,' huh?! Keep me down here and just tell Ruby there was a horrible accident in the Maker's Forge which is why I'm never coming back?!”

“So sorry for interrupting, but Keeper Ilaya didn't trick me into slavery!” Abner said. “That was just the story we propagated so my debtors wouldn't come looking for me anymore, alongside the general goal of keeping us humans out of the Valley.”

Weiss turned around. “Then please, enlighten me with the truth, because I'm pretty sick of all these 'We weren't exactly lying' omissions of it!” she said as she angrily sat back down on the chair.

“Might I convince you to get tested for magical capabilities first?” Abner said, gesturing a hand towards the chamber. “You'll need to be fully conscious for the whole 10 minutes. Don't worry, it won't hurt, though the deliberate stimulation of your magical resonators, should you have them, might tingle.”

“Depends: what happens if I test positive?”

“Well, depending on your elemental alignment, you'll be able to throw fire balls, shoot electricity from your fingertips, punch with the power of an earthquake, or freeze things with a wave of your hand, possibly whilst singing a catchy tune about your powers!” Abner chuckled.

Weiss and Penny stared at him blankly.

“Sorry, Old World holos! There's only so many projects I can busy myself with... anyway, shall we?”

“Can it help me get answers from the Council?” Weiss asked.

“I'd be surprised if didn’t! Rogue Weavers are one of the greatest threats to Fae society, alongside Soul Eaters, and human beings in general.”

Weiss got up. “Then let's do this,” she said as she stepped into the chamber.

“Splendid!” Abner said. “Now, before I begin the experiment, I must warn you that you will begin to float in mid-air, and the constant bombardment of low-intensity magic waves will likely cause a constant but harmless thrumming in your chest, alongside the aforementioned tingling.”

“I've sat through the entirety of my father's shareholders’ balls speeches looking interested for the holos,” Weiss said as she stepped in. “Trust me, I've had worse,”

“Then let the testing begin!” Abner said, dramatically raising his hand, and pushing the big, round “Start” button with his index finger.

The crystals around Weiss began glow as they charged with magic and faded as they released it, the waves being absorbed or reflected by the metals. Her feet lifted up a few inches from the floor, her hair lazily floated around her head, her fingers and toes tingled, and her chest was being hit by a soft, rhythmic pounding.

It was like she was in the middle of an anti-gravity chamber that had static electricity generators and subwoofers blasting at the lowest settings possible.

“You alright in there?” Abner asked as he monitored the various readouts.

“I'm fine, just… tingly.” Weiss said.

Abner chuckled. “Good, good, that's a wonderful sign! Now, shall I start with the True Tale of the Keeper of the Grove? Well, my section of it, anyway; can't speak for Guillermo, seeing as he's dead, and Comtessa was FAR before I was even born!”

“Sure,” Weiss replied. “What really happened…?”

“Well, the part about me being potentially one of Lumania's greatest minds was certainly true.

“Aside from the fact that my parents were rather fond of genetic engineering to create the smartest, most charming, and most athletically gifted progeny possible, my father was quite rich and born of a noble family, and my other father was also one of the latest candidates for secretary to Steward Reese—the one who was assigned to Lumania at the time.

“Unfortunately, wealth, prestige, and luxury tend to make people complacent, and my family quickly fell to ruin, overtaken by both daring new upstarts in business and academe, and a number of sordid scandals I won't bother you with the details of.

“I was still in utero when they ran out of funds or other means to continue my gene therapy, currently in the middle of vastly increasing my intellectual capacity and energy levels. The doctors said the pregnancy could continue without any significant problems, and they didn't need to go deep into debt to either reverse the procedures or complete them, so they busied themselves with making as comfortable a life as they could with whatever was left, along with something for my surrogate mother.

“'What's the worst that could happen,' they thought?

“As it turns out: hypomania and academic excellence, marred by a lifetime of impulse control problems!

“Think days of intense work, pushing the boundaries of science and our understanding of reality, stupefying the public and impressing the most advanced minds at the time, followed by weeks of wild daredevil stunts, poorly thought out business ventures, illicit sexual escapades, gambling, and numerous terrible decisions made in the heat of the moment, such as an incident involving a prostitute with an artificial leg, a lamp post, and an umbrella.

“My goodness, life before my governor was hell: procrastination, distraction, and guilt at what I could have been doing with my time, energy, and skill than researching everything there was about Joe Pesci, which lead to even more procrastination, distraction, and guilt…

“It was a vicious cycle, is what I'm saying.

“And it didn't really help that I decided to go against dear daddies' advice and slowly build up wealth I could safely call my own, and instead borrowed extensively, on the promise that I'd get my metaphorical shit together long enough to start a venture that would pay it back several fold in the coming years.”

Abner shuddered. “Never doubt the saying that a loan from a Valentinian is for life.

“Once it began to look like I was going to be unable to show anything of note, they began to hound me, day and night. Soon enough, they didn't even want the money any more, they just wanted to get their hands on me, because apparently my uncanny ability to avoid them was starting to humiliate their organization, put cracks in their reputation as people you do not trifle with lest you pay the inevitable consequences, and make people begin to doubt their claim that they would find you and get you, wherever you were.

“And believe me, after they chased me out of Lumania, they found me, every single time.

“Be it the Nexus...”

Valentian Debt Collectors burst into a temple for the Holy Shepherd. The congregation and the custodian preaching at the time did not appreciate the intrusion, but paid them little heed soon enough. Out of respect, the uniformed goons acted discretely, apologizing as they methodically swept the pews, looked for opportunities to peek into the rooms on the sides, whispering into their comm-crystals than shouting to each other.

A line of hooded shipmates walked down the aisle, on their way out the doors. A goon passing by noticed one of them seemed a little too engrossed in his copy of Captain Piper's Logs, holding the hardbound book right up to his face.

She took a risk, pulled it down.

She and Abner made eye contact.

“Well praise be to Piper,” she said, grinning evilly.

WHAM!

Abner smacked her upside the head with two-inch thick tome, stunning her long enough for him to run deeper into the temple.

The goons shouted and tore through the pews, members of the congregation screaming and fleeing while the poor custodian had to abandon ship as Abner threw the book at the stained glass window behind her, shattering part of it into pieces.

He launched off the altar and through where Steward Valentino's crotch used to be, the goons shattering the rest of the window as they tried to follow him out the same way, with much less grace.

“… Sekhmet...”

Debt collectors in weather-appropriate garb roamed the dunes on a sand-surfer, cloth and goggles around their heads to protect them from the howling winds. The scout on the bow saw a small, inconspicuous stone building nearly buried underneath a mound, and raised their hand.

The leader of the group called for the pilot to stop.

They landed, and made their way inside the seclusion.

The hermits inside paid them little mind, engrossed in their meditation or their chores. The goons began to explore the interior, opening up clay pots, opening doors and looking in, peering past beards and overgrown hair, trying to look for a familiar face.

One of them stopped before a statue of a man down on one knee, his face bowed as he offered a massive bowl of fruit to a relief of the infamous Red Queen of Sekhmet, the inspiration for the Queensguard.

He was about to walk on by, before he saw the “statue” shudder, trying to hold back a sneeze. He leaned down, peered into the face still resolutely pointed downwards, eyes closed.

“Over here!” the goon called out, and soon the five-person crew were standing in a semi-circle around Abner, guns and clubs out, watching him shake and sweat, relishing the moment before they moved in for the kill.

Abner's arms gave way, the bowl fell to the floor, the offerings rolling before the guard's feet.

They paid it no heed, until one of them noticed a “pomegranate” beeping.

Boom.

The guards regained their sight and hearing just before Abner ran away with their sandskiff, pilot included as had enough Urochs and valuables to pay her for the other half of the trip.

“… And then there was that kerfuffle in Solaris!”

Abner screamed at the top of his lungs as he stood at the helm of a tiny sky-skiff.

Just behind him, Black Cross, Jade Empire, and Jahiliyyah forces shot each other out of the air, damaged and sparking ships crashing into buildings, the streets, and the Endless Sea below with reinforcements constantly coming in to replace them, fighting to the death for the massive bounty on Abner's head and the lifetime of good favour it would afford them with Valentino and all its riches.

The Justices on the ground, the rooftops, and the Halls debated stepping in, or just letting them do their work for them.

“There was a brief stint of hiding out in the independent communities trying to make it outside of the city states, but I am a man of many creature comforts, and I simply couldn't make it as a simple farmer, or a wandering trader...”

“Mama NO!” a young woman cried as a pantsless Abner fled for the hills as her mother tried to shoot him with a hunting rifle.

“… Well, that, and there are no secrets in such small communities.

“So I decided to hide where they least expected me to: Valentino itself. Which worked out surprisingly well, actually! I lasted there for all of two years, since there's so many other fugitives, quasi-legal enterprises, and bad debts that need attention on a regular basis, their infamous tunnel vision and single-minded determination worked to their detriment.

“… Unfortunately, those same problems that got me into such deep debt in the first place hadn't disappeared, and they found me soon enough—fittingly enough, after I flirted with an off-duty collector at a bar.

“To be fair, I REALLY should have been more suspicious when she said she recognized me from somewhere.

“I must confess: I didn't assemble a last ditch expedition into the Valley, to attempt to find something to bring back and pay off my debts. Even my charms have limits, and there's only so many bridges you can burn before you're just surrounded by water you can't cross, and your pursuers all have motorboats.

“For better or worse, the Valentinian Debt Collection Agency had made a serious cost-benefit analysis, and it'd be best for their reputation and their bottom line if I just happened to completely, officially disappear off the face of the realm or die in some mysterious way of my own hand, so they wouldn't have to admit that they only found me by pure happenstance, and they could begin moving on from the giant stain in their reputation that I had become.

“It would have been the end of me, if they hadn't insisted on 'Doing it the right way,' by digging a shallow grave to throw my soon-to-be lifeless body in. And as you know, the bedrock only begins to stop once you're deep in the Valley proper…

“… And that's when Ily—err, Keeper Ilaya—found us.”

My life story

So uhm, hi people  

Sorry if this is a messy post It’s my first time posting on a sort of social media. Anyway, I guess i’ll start by introducing myself.

I am a 17 years old, biological boy, currently living with my father. Ever since i was a child (9-10) i found myself being really into “girly things”, like dressing up in my sister’s clothes, playing with barbies and having long hair, and i never really understood why.

At the time, i was living in the house of my mom’s bf at the time. He kept me in the basement and would only let me go upstairs to see my mother when it was time to eat (between 7:45 and 8pm). And i was not allowed to have any drinks or snacks in the basement. He was way older than my mother and he forced my mom to divorce my dad, just so he could have her to himself. He hated both me and my sister because he didn’t want anyone to take the attention away from my mother and we weren’t biologically related to him. My mother had insanely low self-esteem and her boyfriend was extremely abusive. Because of that, she ended up hating herself. She only had children because my father’s family wanted her to have a boy. she hated both of us and my sister hated my mother because she refused to leave her boyfriend (he would either threaten her or beg for forgiveness whenever she tried to leave him).

He would regularly call my sister a whore because she spend most of her time outside of the house because she couldn’t handle the way things were at his house. She had a curfew of 7-8 pm, i can’t remember, and if she came, literally a minute late, he would refuse to open the door and would scream at her through the window. My sister sometimes slept next to the door and wait for him to fall asleep so my mom, or me, would open her the door and let her inside.

Long story short, she ended up running away from home at 16, to her boyfriend’s house.

I had nothing to do all day because my sister was never home (she lived in the basement with me), my mother wasn’t allowed to talk to me, i only saw my father on the weekends, (he worked from 5 am to 12 am, almost everyday) and i hated school so my uncle actually gave me an unused laptop that he had, just so i would have something to do and something that i can spend my time on. Because of that, i found out what “porn” was, a lot sooner than the other kids, and i ended up being obsessed with my sexuality and my appearance. At the time, i was obese and i had never learned how to talk to other kids, so i was completely cast aside on the playground and i had an intense hatred of myself.

One day, i was browsing the web and i found a youtube video about a little boy that was about 11-12 that was transitioning into being a women. At that moment i thought that i had finally found the answer to my problems, all i needed was my parents approval. As soon as i talked to my dad about it, he beat me until i bled and called me a disappointment. He only stopped beating me because my sister managed to break the lock of the door and push him away from me. When i told my mom about it, she laughed and left the room.

My sister was my hero and i would always try to copy her. (she was also pretty much the only person i talked to). She loved to draw and paint, so i would steal her paints and use them when she wasn’t around. I was never good at it but i really wanted to be.

This situation lasted 6-7 years, until my mom finally decided to move out. She moved to an apartment for 2-3 years, before she returned back to him.

At the same time, my father got married to a horrific woman that he knew for 6 months, just so he would have someone to be able to pay a house with him. She absolutely despised children and she would beat me at any chance she had, she would throw food in my face if i looked at her during meals and she would throw a tantrum if i dared to speak at the table, unless if she explicitly asked me a question, only then could i give her the shortest possible answer as to not waste her time. She would feed me with only the worse parts of her dishes and wouldn’t allow me to leave the table until everyone was done. (between 45-60 minutes per meal). God, i really don’t wanna remember that. Long story short, for the 5 years that my dad was married to her, my life was hell. It all ended when my dad found out that she was cheating on him, and she “broke up” with him.

Throughout all of this, i only had my paintings and my video games in mind, i would always crossdress and would fantasies about what it would feel like to be a real woman. It’s everything i have in mind almost constantly. I always wanted to grow out my hair but my dad always forced me to cut it. I finally got the courage to grow it out about 3 years ago. I had a tripwire toy that would wake me up if my door opened during the night, because my stepmom would try to cut it while i was asleep. I also saved up money to buy myself more girly clothes and i obviously hid them from my family but i would secretly wear them almost everyday.

I was diagnosed with ADHD and General Anxiety as a child, which developped into a Depression as a teen.(i haven’t been to my mom’s bf’s house eversince i got the diagnostic, because he doesn’t want to be near “an attention whore faggot that tried to kill himself for attention”)  I am finally on medication for my depression (about 3 months now)

Eventho i couldn’t have the hormone therapy as a child, i want to have it before i start growing a beard. I am currently trying to find a more efficient way to sell my art (i’m only selling it to people i know in person) and i was wondering if i could do that on tumblr. If there is, then please let me know, because no job wants to accept me and i’m scared to do jobs that are physical by fear that it will raise my testosterone and also because i have a faulty knee and a weak heart. (it’s not really an issue, as long as i sit down often and use my cane). I’m just trying to save up to be able to afford all the fees that comes with the hormone therapy and surgery for my knee. On top of that, i want to be able to move into an apartment with my friend as soon as i turn 18.

So far, i’ve amassed 1115$ from selling art, saving lunch and birthday money (from my grandparents), and a few “side jobs”. It’s still a long way to go so if you have any tips, just let me know. I’m not a great artist but if you ever want anything, i could try my best, even 3$ a day is better for me than nothing.

Nobody in my life knows the extent of my obsession to become a woman, which is why i tried to give as little details as possible, in case they find this post.

I’m really sorry if this is really messy, i just never really wrote down my entire life like this before. if you have any questions, i would be more than happy to answer them.

Elastic Heart Chapter Twelve

Title: Elastic Heart - Space

Characters: Y/N Y/L/N, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Cordelia James 

Pairing(s): Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam’s increasingly disturbing behavior has Dean concerned about his well-being. Now that Cordy knows the truth, Y/N makes a drastic decision.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Cursing, angst, little bits of fluff, mentions of unplanned pregnancy, Hell Trials, cliff-hanger

A/N: Series is mostly canon compliant, taking place during season 8/9. For the purposes of this fic, Sam was born in '84 instead of '83

A/N 2: Hey y’all! I just noticed that there is a part of this chapter that didn’t get uploaded right originally, so here it is again, with the missing parts =)

beta'd by @deanwinchesterswitch​

Elastic Heart Masterlist

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve - Space

Sam POV

I watch helplessly as Y/N/N disappears back into her apartment. I’m still trying to piece everything together; it all escalated so quickly. Something in me snapped when I saw the picture of dad and Corie. I never thought he’d keep something this big from me.

“Dean, that’s my kid up there. And I’m not leaving here without her, without Y/N/N,” I argue as I make my way towards the entrance of the apartment building. She can’t keep me away. I need them with me; I don’t want to lose a second more with them.

Dean blocks my path as I try to enter the building. “Yes, you are Sam,” his hand pushes against my chest. “You need to give her space.”

“They’re not safe, Dean, don’t you see that? They need to come with us. I can protect them.” I try to move around him, but Dean holds his ground in front of me. I can feel the anger rising again. “You- you’re being just like dad, trying to control me! He kept me away from my daughter for over 10 years, and I’m not gonna let you do the same! I won’t let you keep them from me. They belong with me!”

“Sam, do you hear yourself? This is what Y/N was talking about. You can’t expect her to drop this bomb on her kid- ”

“My kid.”

“No, Sam,” Dean says firmly. “Right now, Cordy’s not your kid. If you want her to be your kid, then you gotta start acting like her parent, not some possessive asshole, and put her needs above your own.”

“Y/N/N thinks I abandoned them.” I try to maneuver around him, but it’s like he can predict my moves.

“It’s different this time, Sam. Y/N told me she doesn’t want you to go. She wants you to be a part of her life, of Cordy's. But man, you can keep denying it all you want, but these Trials, they’re changing you. You left her arm all bruised up, and you don’t even seem to care.”

“I’m going up there, Dean, and you can’t stop me. I need them- ” It takes me a minute to catch up to what Dean just said. My eyes go wide at the revelation. “Wait, I hurt her?”

I stumble back towards the parking lot as it all comes flooding back to me, my hands gripped tight around Y/N/N's wrist, her demanding that I let go of her, the fear she tried to hide behind her instinct to protect Corie. When I reach the Impala, I collapse against it, replaying the whole night again in my head.

“Sammy,” Dean’s hand lands on my shoulder, offering support. “She knows it wasn’t intentional, but it doesn’t change the fact that you took your anger at dad out on her.” He takes a deep breath. “All the crap with dad, you gotta let it go- ”

“Let it go?” I scoff as I rise back up on my feet. “Even after all these years, you’re still making excuses for him. You want me to just ‘forgive and forget’? I can’t do that.”

“All I’m sayin’ is,” Dean runs his hands over his face, “you’re pissed at dad, and I get it. I saw the picture, and believe me, if he were still alive, I’d probably want to take a swing at him too. Dad’s the one who decided to lie to you and Y/N. It’s not her fault.”

“I don’t want to lose her again, Dean. Either of them. All I've been able to think about since I found out about them is that something will find them and hurt them. I can’t let that happen. I’m staying,” I argue as I begin walking back towards the apartment building. “Fuck the Trials; I’m done. Y/N/N and Corie, they’re more important.”

“Sammy,” Dean’s in front of me again, hindering my movements. “Kevin said that the only way you’re going to get better is by finishing the Trials. You want to keep them safe? Shutting the gates of hell will do that."

"I can't leave them, Dean. Not again."

"Y/N's right, Sam. You two- you need some space. You've both been through a lot over the last week, and you need time to process. You've got to think about Cordy, Sam. You want to be her parent? Then respect Y/N's wishes and stay away- " I open my mouth to protest, but Dean continues, "for now. And when the trials are over, and Y/N is ready, we'll find a way to make it work." I nod my head, knowing he’s right. "Now, do I need to call Cas, or are you going to get in the car willingly?"

I glance back up to Y/N/N’s balcony, hoping that she’ll come back out. I just want to see her one more time. When she doesn’t appear, I let Dean walk me back to the Impala. He opens the door and then reaches into his pocket, handing me two photos and a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. “Y/N wanted you to have these.”

I immediately recognize the images, the first is from Corie’s last birthday, Y/N/N’s got her arms wrapped around her, and the other is from the day Corie was born. My heart swells as I look down at the picture of my newborn daughter. Y/N/N’s right, I’m the one who chose to leave. Dad said she didn’t want to see me again, and I just believed him. I left without a word to her. I just got in the car and drove straight to Palo Alto. The roar of the engine fills the silence that’s settled around me. I unfold the paper, revealing a phone number. I assume it’s Y/N/N’s, and Dean confirms it as he looks over at me.

“I gave Y/N all of our numbers,” Dean tells me as we exit the parking lot. “She can stay in touch if she wants to,” Dean looks back at the picture, “I hate to sound like a broken record, man, but just give her time.”

I pull my phone out, programming Y/N/N’s number before opening an empty message. My fingers hover over the screen, unsure of where to even start. There’s so much I want to say to her, to both of them, but I know it isn’t the type of thing to send in a text. As her building disappears from my view, I quickly type out three short messages and wait anxiously for Y/N/N’s response, praying that she’ll forgive me.

Y/N POV

Cordy carefully grabs the picture out of my hands. I watch her study it for a moment before finding the right words.

“Sam and I, we…” I struggle as she looks back up, questions written all over her face. “We were young and in love. We were making plans for our future, and when I found out I was pregnant with you, it took us both by surprise.”

“You didn’t want me?” Her voice cracks slightly, and my heart breaks.

“It’s not that, kid.” I return to my seat next to her and wrap my arms around her. “We both wanted you more than anything. You may not have been planned, but don’t think for a second that means you weren’t loved from the minute we decided to keep you.”

“But you let mom and dad-”

“It’s complicated, Cordy.” I sigh, I’m not prepared for any of this. “Mom and dad- they were upset with me when they found out I was pregnant.” That’s an understatement. “Dad didn’t like Sam, and he told him things that weren’t true, and Sam’s dad told me something about him that really hurt my feelings.” Part of me thinks I should be more specific, but I shake the thought out of my head. She doesn’t need to know that her grandparents never wanted her around in the first place; that they had lied and manipulated Sam and me into believing awful things about each other.

“Sam left for college, and I went to South Dakota to have you. When we saw each other at Joe’s, it was the first time we’d talked since I told him I was pregnant. When I met him before the accident? That was when he found out that I had you.” Cordy puts the picture down before grabbing another one.

“Is he going to replace dad?” Cordy whispers.

“Sam’s your biological father, but that doesn’t mean dad wasn’t your dad. And if you’re not ready to know Sam in that way, all you have to do is tell me. I’m not gonna force Sam into your life. You’re old enough to make that choice yourself.”

“Do I have to decide now?”

“No, kid. You take as much time as you want. I’m gonna be on your side, no matter what you decide.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” I pepper her face with kisses, causing her to giggle before squirming out of my arms. “Go get in the shower, and then we can go get some dinner, okay?”

She hops up from the couch, scampering towards the bathroom, and I suppress a laugh as she slides on the linoleum, nearly running into the wall. She gives me a thumbs-up before closing the door behind her. I gather all of the photos, setting aside four or five that I want to display. I don’t have to hide them anymore; my secret was out to the people it mattered to the most.

My phone’s still on the coffee table, and I remember that someone had messaged me last night, and I never bothered reading them. I don’t recognize the number, but I have a feeling I know who it belongs to. I compare it to the list of numbers Dean gave me last night, confirming that it’s Sam’s. A small part of me wants to delete the messages without reading them, wondering if he thinks a couple of texts will fix everything that happened last night. I debate with myself, but I’m curious about what he could still have to say. I reluctantly click on the icon, three short messages popping up.

Sam << I’m sorry.

Sam << I’ll do whatever you want.

Sam << 1 4 3

Crap. Ten words. That’s all it takes, and my heart is at war with my head. Begging me to forgive him, telling me to allow him into my life, into Cordy’s. No. Sam showed me a side of him last night that I didn’t think I’d ever see. All of his anger and resentment directed towards me, the way he grabbed me. What’s to stop him from going off like that again?

I take a long breath; I have to stand my ground, knowing that Cordy isn’t ready to know him like that. But she will, one day.

Y/N >> Thank you, Sam.

My phone chirps again before I can click away from his message. I wasn't expecting him to respond so quickly. Had he been waiting all day for me to reply?

Sam << We’re back in Lebanon, and we won’t bother you anymore. If you ever need anything, pray to Cas, he’s always listening.

I know it’s meant to be a comforting thought, but something about it doesn’t sit right with me. Sam had said that Cas was like family to him and Dean, but surely Cas has better things to do than to wait around for me to call on him.

Sam << I hope that one day you and Corie will be able to forgive me. I love you, Y/N/N, I never stopped.

Sam << I’ve left something for you at your parent’s house, check the mailbox.

My fingers hover over my phone. I want to tell him that I still love him too, but I can't, not like this, not with all of the nasty things we'd said still lingering in the air. Everything I try to say feels like a final goodbye, shutting the door on us forever. I type out the only thing I can think of that won't give him any false hope.

Y/N >> Take care of yourself, Sam.

I set my phone down, not waiting for any response. I take the box of photos and put them on a bookshelf, not wanting to hide them in my closet anymore. I change into my favorite pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt, and french braid my hair, the only thing I can really do after sleeping on the couch. I check my wrist, the size of the bruise has decreased slightly, but it’s still large enough for Cordy to ask questions if she sees it. I’m not ready to explain what happened to Cordy, so I put my sweater back on to cover the injury.

I walk back into the living room and notice what a mess my apartment is. From the sex to the fight, Sam and I had displaced a few items as we moved about the place. I shake my head as I begin straightening up. I hear the shower turn off and wait for Cordy to appear from the bathroom. My oversized towels drown her tiny body, and she runs into my bedroom. I continue picking up beer bottles and plates, one with a full slice still on it, and throw it all away. Cordy re-appears from my bedroom, dressed similarly to myself, in jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair is already starting to curl. Between Sam and me, the kid inherited not only a lot of hair but thick hair as well, the color similar to my own. “Y/N? Can you do my hair? Like yours?” She looks at me with her big hazel eyes. Clearly, Sam must’ve taught her how to use them to her advantage, giving me her best puppy-dog look. I nod and laugh as she darts toward me. “We’re like twins!” she giggles as I finish her hair, and I give her a playful swat as she runs back to the bathroom. I gather my purse and cell, tucking the phone into my back pocket as we leave the apartment. Cordy’s breathing hitches for a moment when we approach my car. I grab her hand, squeezing it as we walk past the car. There’s a diner within walking distance, and I’m afraid of a repeat of yesterday’s incident. We enter the restaurant a few minutes later and take our seats at a booth. There’s a large novelty map decorating the wall next to us, and Cordy immediately tries to locate Weldon on it. “Why can’t I find it?” She playfully pouts as she moves into her seat.

“Weldon is tiny, kid, it’s barely on a Texas map. It’s definitely not gonna be on a map of the whole country.”

“Y/N? Where am I gonna live now?” she asks, still looking at the map on the wall. A waitress comes by and takes our order, dropping our drinks a few minutes later. “Are we gonna stay at your apartment?”

“That’s something I wanted to talk to you about, kid. We can stay out here, find a bigger place for just the two of us, or go back to mom and dad’s. I don’t know what’s gonna happen to the house now, but I can talk to the lawyer if you want to stay there or, if you want, we move to a brand-new place. New town, new people, whaddya think, kid?”

“Can I pick?” she asks excitedly. “If we move, can I pick where?”

“As long as it’s somewhere we can afford. No New York City, or L.A., got it?” Cordy sighs dramatically, “I know, I’m no fun.” I give an equally dramatic eye roll, causing Cordy to burst into a fit of giggles.

“Can I choose now?”

“If you want to,” I take a sip of my coffee, trying to contain my laughter as she covers her eyes with one hand and circles the map with the other. “You didn’t already have a place in mind?” I ask, and she separates her fingers to glare at me briefly. “We’re gonna let fate decide, huh?” I tease as her hand lands in the center of the map.

“Kansas.” She states as she uncovers her eyes. I feel my heart drop into my stomach. “That’s where we’re moving.”

It can’t be a coincidence that she chose Kansas, of all places. “I don’t think Kansas is the right place for us, kid, why don’t you pick again?”

“What’s wrong with Kansas?” She asks innocently. It’s where your father and uncle are, and I’m not ready to be that close to them. “You said somewhere new; I’ve never been there before.”

“There’s a lot of places that you haven't been to before, Cordy. We could go to any of those.” I’m doing everything I can to keep my voice calm.

“You said I get to pick. I pick Kansas.” She stares me down defiantly.

“I’ll think about it.”

The waitress brings our food over, and we eat mostly in silence. I can see Cordy’s upset with me, and I try to come up with some reason that’ll make sense to her as to why I don’t want us to move to Kansas. By the end of our meal, I tell her that we can move only if I choose the city, afraid that somehow she’ll pick Lebanon. We finish our food and make our way back to my apartment. Instead of walking towards the entrance of the building, I guide us to my car.

“We’re gonna be in and out of cars a lot tomorrow,” I say as I slow my steps. “I wish we didn't have to, but there's no way around it. When you’re ready, we’re gonna get in.” Her eyes fill with fear, and her breathing grows shallow. I lower myself so that I’m at her eye-level. “It’s okay to be scared, Cordy.” I can see the tears brimming in her eyes. “You know what I do when I’m scared?” She shakes her head. “I take a deep breath and count to ten. Can you do that for me, kid?”

Cordy closes her eyes and takes a deep inhale, and I move my lips with hers as she counts. She repeats it a few more times before her breathing is back to normal.

“Good. Do you think you’re ready to get in?” I ask gently, and she nods hesitantly. “How about I get in first? And as soon as you’re ready, you can join me.”

I open the back door and slide into the seat. Cordy takes a tentative step forward before moving back to her original spot. I patiently wait as she repeats this action multiple times until she’s only a few inches away from me. I reach my hand out and give hers a reassuring squeeze when she takes it. “When you’re ready, kid.”

I move over, letting her take my place in the back seat. She lets her legs hang out the door for a few minutes before bringing them into the car, weakly smiling when she faces me.

“See? You’re okay.” I pull her to my side, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. “We’re gonna be okay. Nothing bad is gonna happen, and I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“You promise?”

I nod, Sam’s words from earlier repeat in my head, he’d told her to some extent about Cas, and she took comfort in it. “Remember Cas? Sam and Dean’s friend?” She nods in response. “Sam told you that he has the best hearing in the world, right? You know why?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“He’s an angel,” Cordy’s eyes widen, and a broad grin spreads across her face. “He’s always listening, and if you ever get really scared, you can pray to him.”

The next day is a blur. I’m barely able to process anything going on around me until we’re back at my parents’ house. I try to dodge questions about Cordy’s lack of injuries, chalking it up to a “miracle” that she walked away without a scratch. Once all the neighbors have left, I search for Cordy; she kept to herself most of the day, disappearing upstairs as more people arrived. I find her in my parents’ room, asleep, and snuggled in between their bedsheets. I crawl in with her wrapping my arms around her tiny body and let sleep take me away.

My alarm jolts me awake the next morning. Cordy grumbles in her sleep as I slip out of bed and make my way downstairs. Remembering Sam’s last message, I walk out to the mailbox and see Sam’s scratchy handwriting on a plain envelope as soon as I peer inside. I bring the envelope and the other pieces of mail that have built up over the last week, back into the house. When I open the message from Sam, I find a piece of paper folded around two necklaces. The charms on each chain match the symbol tattooed on Sam’s chest.

One for you and one for Corie; please, Y/N, never take these off.

A week after the funeral, I sit down with the estate attorney. He walks me through mom and dad’s will, along with the state of their finances. The insurance will cover the cost of the funeral and the remaining mortgage of the house. If we choose to continue living there, he explains, I wouldn’t need to worry about house payments. I consider it briefly, thinking that it may be better for us. I discuss it with Cordy that night, and we decide, together, a new town would do us both good. With the sale of the house and insurance settlement, Cordy and I will have more than enough to start over.

I temporarily move us back into the house, the tight quarters of my apartment driving us crazy. That night, Cordy pulls up a map of Kansas on my laptop and makes me pick a city at random. I study the screen for a moment, finding Lebanon, knowing that I can’t be in the same city as Sam and Dean. I stay near the edges of the state lines, and my finger lands on Lawrence. Something about the name is familiar, but I shake it off, glad to be at least a few hours away from Sam. They had both kept their promises, and I hadn’t heard from either of them since they’d left Weldon.

We start looking at houses online in Lawrence and take a weekend trip to see the homes that we are interested in, only able to agree on one. We canvas our new neighborhood, and I find a sense of comfort on the quiet street. I notify my realtor that I’d like things to move as quickly as possible, wanting us to be completely settled in by the time Cordy starts school. It takes nearly two months for the house to become ours. During that time, Cordy and I work on navigating our new relationship.

Moving day is bittersweet; saying goodbye to my childhood home, Cordy’s home, nearly causes me to break down. We spend several minutes alone in the empty house, looking over everything before bidding it a final goodbye. I wipe a few tears from my eyes and notice Cordy doing the same; I pull her against me and squeeze her shoulder. This is the only home she’s ever known, and now, she’s leaving it. We’re both crying when I pull out of the driveway and set out towards Lawrence.

When we arrive at our new home the next day, we’re singing loudly and badly to the radio. The movers arrive shortly after us, and within a few hours, they’ve cleared out their truck, and everything is in its proper place. On our first night, our next-door neighbor, Cynthia, introduces herself and her daughter, Ava, who is Cordy’s age. The two girls run off into the house, chattering away, and Cordy invites her to sleep over as soon as we are completely settled. Cynthia and I laugh at how quickly they’ve become friends, and she extends an open invitation to Cordy to come over at any time. Most of the other families, she explains, have preschool-age children.

For the rest of the week, a different neighbor came knocking on the front door, usually with a baked something-or-other in their hands. Tonight is no different, but when I open the door, it’s not a family that greets me, but a bearded man in a black suit.

“Hello, darling,” a thick British accent comes from him. “You must be Moose’s little whore.”

Next Chapter

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Back In The Day

The day before Thanksgiving has always been my favorite day of the year. It’s not because my parents would take me out of school. It’s not because food was on my mind. It’s not because of the extended weekend. It’s because my family would drive from Pittsburgh to Hempstead, NY to see my Grandparents, whom we affectionately called “Grandma and PapPap New York.” I know that doesn’t sound like a big deal to a lot of you, but it was a huge deal to me. The trip was a grand production. Dad would rent a van, later they bought a van, remove the middle seat, and put a blanket and pillows on the floor so my sister and I could sleep and/or play. They would get arrested for doing it, today, but back then, it was never a problem. Actually, I surprised we never got pulled over during those trips. Although, when got to a toll booth, my Mom would always tell us to lay down on the floor and be still so we wouldn’t be detected by the toll collectors. As a grown man, I’m not sure if she was having fun with us or if she was really worried about the repercussions. I don’t want to ruin the funny memory, so I’m never going to ask…. Speaking of getting pulled over…. My Dad was a notorious speed demon. He had more speeding tickets than Liz Taylor had husbands! Ok, that’s a dated reference. He had more speeding tickets than Fetty Wop has baby mamas. That’s better. Anyway, he never went the limit, but he always seemed to go at a normal clip when we were in the car. It’s probably because my Mom is in the Hall of Fame of backseat drivers. “George, you’re going too fast!” “George, slow down!” “George, you have a lead foot!” I mean she would let him have it, but she rarely complained during these trips, aside from one time. On our way back from New York, my Dad was on a mission. He would not stop. That’s a lie. He would stop, but it had to be scheduled. He would stop when he needed a bathroom break or when we got to Carlisle to go to Ponderosa or Hoss’s. This trip was different. My sister may have been 1 or 2 years old and she wasn’t feeling well. She loaded up a diaper with poop that smelled so bad, it could’ve been confused with a biological attack. Now, we were stuck in the car with this terrible smelling diaper. Not too long after that, my Mother was imploring him to pull over. “George, we need to stop! The baby isn’t feeling well. We need to stop!” Over and over he kept asking him to stop, but Dad was in another world. I’ve seen it happen on few occasions when riding with him. He gets in the zone. It’s not a normal person zone. This zone was like Kobe Bryant’s 81-point game against Jalen Rose and the Raptors. He simply could not be stopped and blocked out all ancillary sound. It bit him in the butt at the end, though. My Mom pleaded and pleaded with him to stop until the worst sound a baby could make was heard emanating from my sister’s mouth, along with 10 pounds of vomit. She ralphed, everywhere! It was on my Mom, it was on her, it was on the seat, and it was on the floor. It was projectile vomit straight out of The Exorcist. Luckily, this was one of the few times the middle seat wasn’t removed from the van, so I was protected, but that smell would’ve choked a donkey! So now, we are in a vehicle with two biohazards and a sick baby (of course she felt better after all that mess was out of her system). Finally, my Dad stopped at a rest station in Midway, PA so my Mom could clean herself, my sister, and the backseat. As was the case with each time we went off schedule, my Dad called my Grandma to tell her what happened. If we were ever late getting to her house or getting home, she panicked. Typically, it was never a problem for us, which was all the reason for my Dad to call. He knew Grandma would be upset if we didn’t fall into her perceived window of arrival, which was always accurate. I was witness to my Grandma throwing a fit at my Aunt and cousins for coming to her house late and significantly after the time they told her. It was a Lewis family holiday tradition. If they said they would be there at 8pm, don’t expect to see them until 2am. Of course, I could never stay up late enough to see them arrive. I loved seeing my Aunt and cousins. The age gap between us is significant, all 3 are old enough to be my mother or father, but that didn’t effect the bond and love we have for each other. Seeing them is a treat. I never understood why it took them so long to drive from suburban Philly to Long Island and why we always got there before them. It was 2-hour ride when my Dad and I made the trip while I was in college in the City of Brotherly Love while the trip from Pittsburgh took 7-8 hours. I don’t know one of my cousins, who will remain nameless, accidentally drove south on 95 and ended up in Delaware, not New York. I still don’t know how she pulled that off after making the trip her entire life. Anyway, after Mom cleaned everything, we piled back into the car to make the final few hours’ drive home, but a bad trip got worse. The car wouldn’t start! After all of that, the car wouldn’t start! Years later, I think my Dad had an inkling about something going on with the van. Yeah, it was rental, but I think he didn’t want to stop because he knew it may not start again. So, our 7-8-hour trip turned into a 10-12-hour trip. My Mom called the rental company to tell them what happened and the lady who took her call was not very pleasant. You have not seen an upset woman until you see my Mom when someone talks down to her. She was livid! After the day she was having, that was the last thing she needed, plus you don’t talk to someone in that manner when your company gave a customer a lemon. My Dad straightened it out, eventually, which lead to a letter to the rental company signed by the one of the heads of his employer, a nationally renowned paint brand whom my Dad was one of their most promising chemists. When he told me about the phone call he received, he looked like Lex Luthor after winning battle with Superman. The COO of the rental company called him, directly, to apologize about the service. At that point, I knew my Dad was someone of importance at his job. I also knew how much he loved and cared about his wife. He always defended her when he knew she was being wronged. He taught me a lot about being a man and taking care of your family, especially your wife, during that story. Back to the tradition of the trip.... My Dad was an electronics and music geek (My sister and I get the latter and former, honestly). He always needed to have the latest and greatest gadgets and music, especially during long trips. On multiple visits to Grandma’s, he would bring his Sony Discman, an expensive, novelty purchase, at the time, and all the newest CDs. Dad loved jazz, new age, and R&B. I can still remember listening to Janet Jackson’s “janet.” and Hiroshima’s “East” while going over the Verrazano Bridge with all its lights brightening the night sky. It’s an awesome and relaxing memory. Now, to keep the CD player from skipping, my Mom would take a couch throw pillow and put it under the device to absorb the bumps. To say it was a genius idea would be an understatement! When we would get to the Hempstead Turnpike, I could feel the anticipation rising in my body. I was just giddy with excitement because I was going to get to see my Grandma and PapPap. I loved them so much and I know they loved us, too. Their love was palpable. I mean you could literally feel their love entering your body and wrapping you with their embrace. They were unique and special people. I’m so fortunate to be able to call them family. I know a lot of people gag when they hear the name “White Castle,” but trips to the fast food restaurant known for their sliders was part of our family’s Thanksgiving trip tradition. We would stop at the location off the Hempstead Turnpike, order a bunch of burgers and fries at the drive-thru, and then take them to Grandma’s house. Yeah, they would stink up the car, but nothing stunk so good! After that stop, we were one step closer to Grandma’s house. One step closer to breaking out the food on the kitchen table and satiating our hunger while Grandma watched us eat from the four, small stairs that led to the bedrooms and bathroom off the kitchen. Dad would always say, “Mama, you want something?” She would reply with a smile a mile wide, “No, thank you, Juni…,” but would eventually pick at some fries. Grandma never called my Dad by his birth name. He was always Juni to her and the rest of the family. Technically, he wasn’t a junior, but my PapPap’s name was George and as was my Uncle’s, so my Dad needed to be called something else simply to cut down on the confusion. When we would pull up to the house on Rose Ave, my Grandma would be standing outside, waiting. Like I said, she always knew when we would arrive. It was an amazing skill! I would run from the driveway, over the stiff, but soft, Bermuda grass to hug my Grandma New York. I can still hear her Jamaican accent with hints of Manhattan and Queens thrown in. After we gathered our things from the car and put them in the bedroom, we would go downstairs and say hi to PapPap New York. My sister and I never saw him walk or heard him speak a clear word. A massive stroke took away most of his motor skills and strength 2 years before I was born. When she was 4, my sister, eight an air of youthful ignorance, was asked to go downstairs and say, “good morning,” to PapPap. She quickly responded, “Why? He doesn’t say anything to me!” The laugh that came from the house was so loud, I’m surprised we didn’t hear anything from the neighbors. The baby had no idea he couldn’t speak to her, but she knew something wasn’t right. She knew you’re supposed to speak when someone says, “good morning.” It wasn’t the only time my sister honest innocence caused raucous laughter to fill the house. She was always good for comic relief during those trips, even when she had no idea what was going on. I miss those days and those trips. I miss the family who is no longer with us, my Dad, my grandparents, my cousin Eddie, my Uncle Eric (The E in Kyle E.), and my Uncle George. That day, Thanksgiving Eve, taught me how much my family’s love means to me. When we would leave, after 5 days of love and laughter, we all would cry as Dad pulled away from the driveway while Grandma stood on the lawn, waving to us with tears in her eyes. I remember it like it was yesterday. I’m thankful and glad it’s resonance always allows me to, virtually, go back in time, anytime. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!