corishadowfang
The Dragon's Den
Cori | LGBTQA+ Christian | She/Her | Copywriter | Kingdom Hearts and Digimon Nerd | Constructive criticism always welcome!
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“if you’re working a full time job you should be able to afford to live on your own and have access to food and transportation” gonna be real with you brother. everyone deserves this. Not just people working 40 hrs a week
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A surprisingly helpful bit of social maneuvering I've figured out from trial and error:
Throughout your life, you are going to need things from people. Often, it's going to be on a deadline. And when that deadline passes, you generally want to know what's going on. So, you need to ask them.
There are two kinds of people, broadly, in this situation. The Shameless will tell you what the holdup is, with absolutely no regard for if the reason is "good enough". This is actually very helpful, because you get the real reason immediately, and can start working on a solution.
The Ashamed is trickier. People who are Ashamed are people who were often told they were giving excuses when they were trying to explain, and they'll often avoid you until they solve the problem on their own. This causes them and you a lot of stress, and often takes a lot longer to solve.
Long term, the strategy for dealing with people who are Ashamed is to provide a supportive environment where they're comfortable sharing any problems they're having with getting things done. But, there's a way to at least partially short-circuit that:
Provide an explanation for them.
One example might be "Hey Susan, I noticed that I don't have your report yet. Are you busy with other projects?" The readymade explanation signals that you're willing to accept an explanation, which is the big anxiety point.
Sometimes, you still won't get an honest answer- especially if the honest answer isn't "good enough" by the standards of the person who traumatized them. But, I've found that it often at least gets you a lie that lets you give them some slack or work around the problem.
Let's say that Susan has actually completely forgotten that she needed to do the report. She's horrified at herself, and completely unwilling to admit the real problem. But, she can now safely reply with "Sorry Jennifer, I've been swamped, and it got lost in the mix. I can have it to you in two days. Does that work?"
From there, so long as Susan gave an estimate for when she can actually do it, she and Jennifer can hash out a solution.
It's not a perfect solution, but it works astonishingly well for how small of a change it is.
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What would it take to rewrite a story set in ink? A rebel? A virus? An illegal play?
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hey uh does this mysterious .png belong to anybody, I found it on the beach… (/j)
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Biggest reframe of my artistic life was when somebody pointed out that putting down your own work in front of people who enjoy it is tantamount to insulting those people’s taste. Knocked the self deprecation right out of me
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nothing is whole and nothing is broken
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Me, adjusting the Fallen Stars playlist for the millionth time: I'm very normal about making playlists.
#fallen stars#technically#seriously though i've messed with this playlist SO MANY TIMES#like--when i'm writing#i don't usually have a playlist going#i find a song with the right 'vibes' and go 'THERE. THAT'S IT'#and then just write#but playlists are DIFFERENT#because when i make them it's like. i want the songs to kind of follow the story beats#which. depending on the songs i find#sometimes goes really well#and other times does not#right now i have 'a rumor in st petersburg' and 'aaron burr sir' for two of the opening songs#mostly because they're the songs i've found that are closest#but they don't fit PERFECTLY so my mind is like 'i need to keep tinkering with this. forever.'#...all this to say i'm totally very normal about making playlists and don't overthink things at all
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you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy
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@lightandfellowship re: your tags on this post (just to kind of bring this out to a different post).
I was thinking about making a separate post to expand on those tags anyway because they were a little off topic to the op, but I was like, you know, it's that Xehanort was worse to the Dandelions than Luxu was, yes. But Luxu was supposed to be that callous to the Dandelions in the first place. He was supposed to think of them as tools and to just let whatever fucked up thing was supposed to happen to them just happen. And with anyone else he can, but he can't put his personal feelings aside enough to 'do what needs to be done' for this set of people alone.
But Xehanort can.
And I think that's really interesting when looking at Xehanort as the 'replacement Luxu.' Xehanort who, as observed by another post I don't have immediately to hand, speaks with MoM twice. Xehanort who is chosen by MoM and manipulated into doing his bidding the same way Luxu was, given the same coat and made the heir to Luxu's keyblade, Xehanort who actually is allowed to take action to bring the Keyblade War about and revive the Lost Masters while Luxu is only allowed to watch.
Actually I started this post with a different thesis ('Xehanort is able to put his personal feelings aside and be ruthless even where Luxu fails to follow his role') but writing that paragraph I've changed my mind actually. Because Luxu has basically no agency in this situation, whereas Xehanort does.
Like, both of them are assigned roles by their mentors but Xehanort isn't really given a road map about how to fulfill his role. He's being manipulated, sure, but he's also making choices himself all along. They're choices that are fucked up but he understands they're fucked up and is choosing them anyway because he strongly feels it's necessary for the greater good.
Luxu has been told these things are necessary for the greater good. He's been told what to do. He's been told to just watch and that he can never take action. He doesn't even have the illusion of agency that Xehanort, who is actively choosing to lean into his feeling that destiny is inevitable, does. What is that like, to live hundreds of years never having any sense of agency? For Luxu, helping the Dandelions is fucking up. It's doing what he knows he's not supposed to, what he's been told is against the Plan, but he has no agency and this is his little way of rebelling, even if this is, to us, the 'right' thing to do. There's a question of what actually is 'right' and 'wrong' here and whether Xehanort is a 'better Luxu' than Luxu for choosing to simply follow The Plan.
Also I'm rambling here but putting things together as I go, sorry to also expand on other tags on posts I reblogged from you lol, but like. Luxu also very clearly has Lucifer stuff going on, the same way Xehanort does, down to the name. Xehanort takes on the Satan imagery over time - but it was Luxu's first. And Luxu is the one who actually tried to rebel against his Creator by deviating from his role (only to watch) and intervening with the Union leaders.
The thing about angels is they are not, in Catholic traditions (I can't speak to other denominations) is that they are not supposed to have free will. Free will is for humans; angels only follow The Plan, with no agency or say in the matter. They're messengers and avatars created only to execute the will of God. The Foretellers seem to play this role, if you will, in relation to Master of Masters. He hands them roles to execute the plan he's already designed. If we're, in this analogy, considering Master of Masters to be in the role of 'god', both Ava and Luxu are ultimately fallen angels - they both question the will of their creator, both rebel - but Luxu rebelling was built into the plan. He is Lucifer, and Lucifer rebels, and so he was still allowed to come back to the fold at the end of kh3, having fulfilled his duty even considering his rebellion. He still had no agency in the end, even having done what he thought was exercising it by saving the Union leaders.
Anyway I'm just rambling on at this point and don't really have a conclusion to this but the whole interplay between Luxu and Xehanort, agency and servitude, angels and devils, light and dark, feels really compelling to me.
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speaking of replicas, can you imagine if xion's death had ended with her blank body being left behind in roxas's arms
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Actually...what an interesting concept for an AU. "AU where little Kairi's pod did accidentally end up in Quadratum, and she never got to meet Sora or Riku."
I'm not sure how such a thing would play out. She's a Princess of Heart, so the worlds being short a princess is...probably not a good thing. Especially if she took the World's light with her and she can't pass on her power to someone else (due to being in a different reality). That could upset the light/dark balance of the World, potentially making the Realm of Light more prone to darkness since one of the pillars that upholds it is just, plain missing.
It would also drastically change the events of KH1. Sure, BBS establishes that Riku wanted to see the outside world partially because of Terra, but it was also partially because of Kairi. Her absence might mean his curiosity and desire for freedom never grow strong enough for him to act on those feelings, meaning Destiny Islands doesn't fall early (or at all) and no one gets the Keyblade in time to escape the world and eventually put a stop to Ansem's plan.
(Not to mention, since Kairi doesn't end up on Destiny Islands, Xehanort/Ansem never locates a Keyblade wielder like he wanted. Which I think he needed in order to forge/wield the Keyblade of Heart, maybe? This might be another reason why Riku and Sora's journey would never begin.)
Though, can Ansem even achieve his plan without Kairi? I guess so, since in KH1 the Keyblade of Heart was never actually completed with her heart, anyway. Canonically, Ansem had to use his back-up plan instead: the artificial Kingdom Hearts made from the hearts of all the worlds he destroyed.
So...Ansem's plan succeeds in this scenario, perhaps. Darkness unleashed, utter destruction.
Meanwhile, an amnesiac Kairi lives a normal life in Quadratum as a normal teenager, completely unaware that her absence from her original reality has brought about the end of all worlds.
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Some illustrations I did for @samepagezines a Fashion KH zine!
All the beautiful outfit designs were made by Ace
Check our little shop if interested
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Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar
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garden and light fairies ✨
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A Single Step
(A short Xehanort fic inspired by this ask @starlightwayfinder sent to me.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sometimes, Xehanort just...sits.
That strange (and frankly, highly suspicious) man he had met while preparing for his Mark of Mastery exam had been right, in the end: after some time, Xehanort didn't need to wear the black coat inside the dark corridors anymore.
Repeated exposure to the dense darkness within these corridors had strengthened Xehanort's heart and toughened it, much like how repeated exposure to the elements toughen the bottom of your feet after walking barefoot for miles and miles. Eventually, the skin hardens, and the sharp edge of spite, the biting chill of indifference, and the scorching heat of animosity become—for the most part—bearable. Nothing can stop you from making any trek, no matter how perilous the terrain may be.
He no longer required the protection of the coat, and sometimes, he just sits within the depths of the dark corridor. Waiting.
It doesn't usually take too long for "it" to appear.
The afterimage of his mentor.
He doesn't really know what the afterimage is, exactly. Oh, he has theories, sure, based on his own observations and what he was taught in school. But no true way to test those theories. And in any case, he doesn't particularly care about the specifics—not now, anyway.
The resemblance is striking, he thinks. No, not their appearance, for every time Xehanort has run into them in this place, their face has, without fail, been obscured by the hood of their favorite blue cloak. But their heart—their heart!—he can feel it: their emotions.
The emotions are different each time (he recalls them with ease, as if they were engraved upon his own heart: guilt, doubt, pity, grief), but he recognizes them as belonging to his mentor all the same. It's them, somehow. Were it not for the figure's ghostly translucence betraying their true nature, Xehanort could almost swear that his mentor was standing right next to him again, alive. Rhythmic waves of emotion imitating the heartbeat that he used to know so well, that used to lull him to sleep every night as a baby.
Used to.
Use—yes. He utilizes these dark corridors so frequently now. A journey of hundreds of thousands of miles, reduced to nothing more than a brief stroll. A method of travel that is quick, convenient, and covert. It would be foolish not to take advantage of all the benefits such travel provided, so of course that's why he's gotten into the habit of using the dark corridors whenever he can. For efficiency, and for proving the strength of his heart. No other reason, really.
But sometimes he doesn't pass through the corridors with the swift, purposeful pace that he ought to. Sometimes, he loiters, peering into the turbulent darkness as if looking for someone. He waits, in those halls that should not be traversed by the living.
And he just sits.
Finally, a figure coalesces several feet ahead of him. He's so used to it by now, and yet he can't help but draw in a sharp breath at the sight of it.
His mentor. Or something close to them.
Close enough.
Xehanort gets on his feet, and slowly inches his way towards the apparition. He's encountered it several times already, but has always kept a safe distance away. Today, however, will be different; today, he will indulge his curiosity.
The spirit remains perfectly still as Xehanort approaches. It doesn't react, doesn't turn to look at him, doesn't seem to notice him at all. He may as well not exist.
He's only a couple of feet away from the spirit when suddenly, something inside of him shatters. His knees buckle on their own from the shock, and he crumples to the floor without meaning to.
All at once, the pain he was so masterfully ignoring up until this point hits him in full force: the rapid, uncontrolled beating of his heart; the bone-deep ache in his legs; the soreness of his feet; the lightheadedness and stinging intakes of air that follow running out of breath.
The rough skin of his heart had finally fractured under the strain of the corridor, and the darkness that flows into the cracks feels like water rushing into his lungs.
He doesn't know what caused his heart to falter like this. Was this the spirit's doing, somehow? But the pain is so relentless, so overwhelming, that he can't focus long enough to consider the possibilities.
Endure it. Keep going.
His arm shaking, he desperately tries to grip the hand of the only parent he's ever known (known, but not the only parent he's ever loved) to steady himself, but his own hand passes right through.
He knows this will happen. He knew this would happen. But a pained sob escapes his throat regardless when he fails to make contact, soft and broken and child-like and utterly drowned out by the sea of unintelligible whispers surging all around him.
Trying to stand up in this state would be a futile effort, he realizes. Instead, he crawls the final few inches to his intended destination and collapses, curling up next to the memory of someone long gone.
And, for once on this seemingly never-ending journey of his,
he just
sits.
#other's writing#kingdom hearts#the behind the scenes stuff is so cool!!#the stuff about xehanort trying to turn his thoughts away from something emotional to something more detached...MAN#love the thoughts about the ending!!#(also glad you (and starlight haha) like how i wrote xehanort's abilities!!)
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Where did you get that?
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Infamous fandom jokes aside, I do think it would be cool to see data Brain get corrupted by bugs like data Riku…
you should let him out : )
#other's art#kingdom hearts#WAIT HANG ON ARE HIS EYES YELLOW#i feel like. maybe letting him out isn't the best idea#very cool effects on the tv!!
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