Ok I want to say something about episode 10 and Stede’s ‘selfishness’ (and why Stede left - spoiler alert: it’s trauma). I put selfishness in quotes because I completely understand how and why he is interpreted that way, but I don’t think that selfish is quite the right way to describe it in this instance: I’m not saying that Stede isn’t selfish at all, I just don’t think it’s an accurate explanation of his actions in the moment.

Stede has been taught by years and years of bad experience that he is the problem. He doesn’t fit in with the other pirates, which is expected because of the class divide/his privilege. But he also doesn’t fit in at all with his own class either. As a kid, he was relentlessly bullied for being different. All we ever hear from his father is criticism. He never fits in with his family(pre-running away): in the dinner table scene, his only comment is immediately met with an awkward silence before they move on, completely ignoring him (this scene hit hard because I’ve had people react that way to me way too often and it fucking hurts). Stede also says in ep 5 “I was never really good at these things,” when talking about the party - the typical way of interaction for his class, and it is VERY clear throughout that episode that he is not ‘one of them’ by the way he is treated by them. There is not a single time in his old life where he is accepted for who he is.

Now let me tell you from experience, years and years of being lonely and unwanted, never fitting in, no matter how hard you try, does not do good things to your mental state. I feel like this especially applies to autistic people (and I definitely read Stede as autistic btw), as often it’s not even like we can change anything and magically be liked. You learn that YOU are the problem, it’s always YOUR fault. This, my friends, leads to a shit ton of crippling self hate.

So really, it’s no wonder that what Chauncey says really gets to him. His view of himself is so skewed by his past trauma that he cannot see himself as anything other than the monster Chauncey makes him out to be. Stede absolutely loves Ed. He cares about him so much, and wants Ed to be happy, so he does what he thinks is right - he leaves. He thinks so terribly of himself that he is convinced that his mere existence is ruining Ed’s life. Therefore, he thinks that the only way to ensure Ed’s happiness is if he is not there. (It’s heartbreaking to be honest. This poor man needs a hug so bad)

Stede leaves because he genuinely believes that Ed is better off without him. This was not a selfish decision: Stede isn’t putting himself above Ed, it’s actually the other way around. We know that Stede doesn’t want to return to his old life. He was utterly miserable all the time and he was so lonely. The only time that he is truly accepted by others without judgement is once he’s met Ed. Why would he want to give that up, especially after a lifetime of bullying? He doesn’t. But because he cares so much about Ed’s happiness, he does what he is convinced is the best thing - he leaves. The issue isn’t that he doesn’t care about Ed’s needs, it’s that he cares, but he’s so traumatised that he is wrong about what those needs are.

prof sunghoon can't catch a break

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Podium - Fernando Alonso

would you please elaborate on your comment "renowned hack frank miller" ? i haven't read much from him yet but i like to listen to informed people tell me why [thing] sucks because it's funnier than dc wiki

when someone tells me their favourite comic writer is frank miller my response is the same as when someone tells me their favourite films are american psycho and fight club — i immediately prepare for an irish exit from the convo.

both (some of) miller’s work and those films are influential pieces of art with explicit political ideology, but while american psycho and fight club are (frequently) misinterpreted satire, miller is genuine to the point of hilarity.

if u consume batman as a character in any capacity u cannot escape miller’s influence — batman: year one is the pretty definitive starting point for most fans (and filmmakers, like matt reeves with the batman 2022), and miller’s visual style is a cornerstone for modern comics. the dark knight returns effectively changed how comics were viewed by readers, and is credited with kickstarting the modern age of comic books. i cannot emphasise that even if u haven’t read a miller book u have certainly encountered someone else inspired by his work.

with that said — miller writes like how a racist libertarian who believes his own hype would write about superheroes. greta, u must be wondering, that seems like an awfully specific descriptor to assign to someone. and normally u would be right!

the because im batman schtick that every sixteen year old nolan stan with a twitter account ran into the ground circa 2014 started because of miller, and his success in the 80s led to a number of ill advised projects fueled by his own hype. all star batman and robin was an uncritical interpretation of bruce that embodies all the worst misinterpretations of dc characters, including the justice league, that miller then tried to espouse was satire. unfortunately, he is not smart enough to punch up instead of down — the absurd hypersexualisation of women doesn’t become satire just because you’re laughing at readers in the script, frank.

this, in turn, led to one of the most virulently racist comics ever published — 2011’s islamophic nightmare fuel holy terror. he should not be taken seriously as a creative force, and he should not be the foundation of what comics should be. at least alan moore is marginally less obnoxious and fully admits that the killing joke was a bad idea.

You know what I find interesting that may not be intentional or mean anything but is interesting nonetheless?

The way when the others like Maddie or Eddie are shown in therapy with Frank we not only have seen the actual sessions but also frank is referred to as Frank

Now I’ve had therapy and a good 95% of people in my life are either currently or used to be in therapy and it’s pretty commonplace for therapists to use their first names with patients (I think cos it builds rapport or something)

But thing is with Buck’s therapy we’ve only seen the dr wells incident and then the sessions with Dr Copeland aren’t REALLY shown and Dr Copeland I’m pretty sure has only been referred to as such

Which makes me wonder if this is to show a healthy boundary after the dr wells incident or is it to show a disconnect to his therapy and it not working

Ooo another detail I noticed is on the one part of his session we saw she referred to him as Evan:

Gif from: @911hiatus

This was around the same (?) time where he flat out says people who know him call him Buck

Now that being said we HAVE seen exceptions of that and it could just be because he’s listed on documents as Evan but still I don’t see any reason why she wouldn’t call him buck or why she should be part of the exceptions

Anyways I thought these things were interesting when you put them all together even if they may be 100% unintentional

what i don't like about breakbee and what ultimately pulls me away from it with such force i can't ever imagine them kissing is the fact that when you look at it from a different angle they really are brothers and that makes it even more heartbreaking, imo

like, sure, ship it all the way if you want, no one is going to stop you, but what if you really took into account the fact that they can be siblings? divided by war, angry at each other for their choices. you can show me evidence like the "he put his hand on bee's autobot insignia, and then he winked at him, that's pretty telling!" and i go, yeah, but what if we don't try to make everything romantic and look at the platonic side of it?

they're rivals, they like to butt heads, and that's what siblings usually do. they also care for each other, but they won't ever admit it, which is what they're constantly showing. it also goes pretty well with the show's theme of family, so it's easy to draw these connections

they were brothers before the war, and then two people (OP and Megs) divided them - how cool is that as a plot? how can a bond between siblings (not even biological) be broken, how can it truly stand the challenge? idk breakdown and bumblebee as brothers really appeals to me way more than their romantic relationship does, it has a lot more give to it, while the ship is kinda restricting

The difference in how Hen and Eddie's cheating is treated/being treated by the fandom v how Buck's is... I wonder why...

Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -

Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.

And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.

And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.

instead of dangerous new year resolutions that capitalize off my insecurities or dwelling on any of the shit that happened today, im learning how to knit :) im awful at it, probably always will be because FUCK my hands are so shaky—and im having a blast in making the soppiest stitches known to man and that motion alone

[ID: twenty stitches of light pink yarn on a single metal knitting needle. END ID]

(^ guy who will go through all these before getting one (1) knit stitch on)

sigh i guess it's less about "it should have happened earlier" and more "it doesn't feel like there's going to be enough time to resolve this"

experiencing my bimonthly (every two months) morality spiral of "it's bad that i like men, why am i not as attracted to women, i must be a misogynist if I personally am not as often attracted to women as i am men"

i would say i need to go touch grass to get over it but unfortunately I do that at least once a day and it does not seem to help 😔 (this second paragraph is half joke)

epic win at old lady group today: the group leader was struggling with a tangled up loose skein of yarn, so i scampered over to the other end of the table where was sitting and offered to untangle it and wind it into a centre-pull yarn bal for her since I remembered how to do it from just the other day fjdkdl and she was very confused why i would WANT to do that but she let me :3

so i got to untangle yarn AND wind a yarn ball AND help someone i appreciate, three things i love doing - YIPPEE !!!

{Video Transcript:

“(*jack’s signature mischievous music plays*) [I- I mean I know I reprogrammed the pu- the computer-] In my head I did it! [Alright?] When he died the first time I really didn’t think it was what I wanted. I thought I- I- I remember that we were f- (sighs) You know this- (*the music cuts*)

To go from being someone’s friend and really thinking... They cared about you and being in a little nation together like L’manburg, and then to have them kill you for trying to visit them at their lowest... And never apologize. And not care when you tell them all the troubles they put you through... And want to kill them so badly and then have them die... And actually miss the friend you lost?

[But it wasn’t-] I wasn’t missing my friend. My friend came back, and he’s fucking awful! [Alright?] He sucks! My friend is dead and I’ve- I’ve said this. And I thought him dying [would be the satisfaction-] or what was left of him dying would be the satisfaction that I needed, but it wasn’t [-and I stopped my mission]. But what I’ve realized is... Satisfaction isn’t going to be claimed [from] Tommyinnit dying. Satisfaction will come from me killing Tommyinnit. (*the music picks up again*)

Death happens. It comes and goes, but the act of making him understand the pain he put me through, the lack of remorse he showed me-- that’s what he needs to see. That will be the moment where I know... I. Was. Right. He will know I was right. And the sun will set on a server that will be ever so more peaceful.

And I’ll finally be able to let this go.

...I just want to let this go.”}

feel like todd wouldve had a 'takes care of everyone but nobody takes care of him' story arc

[slides in]

hope youre doing well, this is your excuse to talk about something you've been waiting for someone to ask about, any topic

THIS IS YOUR FAULT FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT TRANSFORMERS AGAIN its one of my favourite franchises bc there are really NOT MANY characters who i am neutral on or dont like. ive singled out dozens of tf characters over the years to be the fave for a bit and rotated them in my brain for a few months, its actually easier to list the characters that i dont like than the ones i do. i do have some favs but theres stil like. 10 that i couldnt choose between. probably soundwave, sunstreaker, ratchet, vortex, deathsaurs, tracks, steeljaw (rid), spinister (idw), perceptor, fort max, skywarp, thATS MORE THAN 10 ALREADY BUT U GET IT

i actually have 5-6 a4 notebooks just FULL of transformers drawings, little comics of g1 episodes and character designs and stuff, its all from a few years ago before i started digital art but i should really redraw some of it bc ill never get tired of transformers.

and actually, i was wondering what to draw today so MAYBE some transformers stuff. i loved g1 for how absolutely insane it was, ive never seen a show with so many lines said like jokes that were just. not jokes and usually made GENUINELY no sense. not sure i ever laughed at a joke in that show but i do remember being in literal tears over animation errors, wild lines, weird noises, and plotlines that make no sense whatsoever. do not watch g1 with hopes of getting it, but i do watch it to laugh at the show itself

if i don’t get a relieved chenford hug next week.....