#I love sad or hurt Ichi (sorry)
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Throwing in fun (not fun) facts to contribute esp bc I was tagged in the essay:
(Sorry in advance this is literally my career and special interest AND I just got back from a training conference about this SO obv I am going to talk too much. Disclosure: These statistics are from peer-reviewed sources AND the National Children's Alliance. The NCA IS an American association, though, so take this all with a grain of salt bc we're applying it to someone whose bg is not American lmao. This is an essay for funsies. CW: discussion of and stats about CSA, Child Abuse)
Relevant to the Jo stuff is also that victims of one/any kind of abuse are statistically much more likely to subsequently face overlapping abuse, so knowing he comes from a home where abuse and potential neglect was actively occurring sets Jo-boy up for some sad statistics. I am looking for my notes on the stats for that but it's something stupid high, I wanna say over 30 or 40%.
Additionally, 47%~ of CSA victims are revictimized. Abysmal statistic but mostly just an interesting note if this IS the case/if we choose to interpret Jo this way bc of the other things mentioned in Masu's ask, specifically if we're viewing his unhealthy and ultimately traumatic relationship with Ikumi as a potential example of that revictimization (similarly, coming from a like background, it may have been revictimizing for Ikumi if she had ever experienced something like CSA, as well. It's one of those cases where they both got hurt even if neither of them were at fault for "playing house" as Jo calls it).
Seconding/Adding on to Masu's thoughts about Jo's behavior being as self-destructive as it is because of the compounded trauma of his life, victims of adolescent abuse "engage in health-risk behaviors such as substance use, physical fighting, and risky sexual activity," in far higher numbers than non-victims. We know for facts that adolescent Jo checks at least 2 of those 3 boxes, and that he still puts himself in unnecessary danger as a full grown adult (the Heian Tower fight, and Hoshino's Office fight): An interesting and well-written cycle of trauma and abuse on RGGs part, tbh, but also so narratively telling about how he saw/sees/continues to see himself as more an object than a person. (Love your notes on that btw, it rings very true. I could write an essay on that alone tbh.)
Another weird little thing I notice from both a Doyalist AND Watsonian perspective: Jo's disclosure of his father's abuse would classify as what we call an "accidental disclosure" in the field even though it's clearly intentional that he shares it with Ichi - it's offhanded and markedly unimportant in the story he's telling. He says it passively in a literary sense, as well: "The only thing waiting for me at home was my father's fists." Like homie, that's the most roundabout way you could have said "My dad beat me." Interestingly, up to 50% of [specifically CSA] victims do not state outright that abuse occurs, but disclose it accidentally/offhandedly; and in general, accidental disclosure is more common among people who have also delayed disclosure. Up to 66% of admissions from victims of child abuse come delayed if they come at all.
I think it's a very in-character remark of him to make, but statistically, it lines up with other victims of abuse as a whole. I think it's also just cool that from the Doyalist perspective, writing his lines in this way was intentional. It's part of the whole "Everything Jo says sounds like it could mean more than one thing" thing. He speaks poetically - it's intentional not just for the character but for the writer.
Okay, I'm done for now I'm sorry I just wanted to throw some added stuff into the convo bc I love applying my everyday usage of adolescent-focused trauma care and pysch shit to blorbos and seeing what sticks. Anyway, I also have a shit ton of thoughts on Masumi Arakawa as an abuse survivor but THATS another essay I won't dig into now. If I am still in your good graces after this long ass spiel I will consider it not only amazing but perhaps even cool as hell.
[ continuity of this ask ]
#long post#cw csa#its related im keeping it LMAO#snap chats#love the implication that you'd be 'out of my good graces' for sending this LMAO NO YOURE FINE WHY WOULD I BE MAD#i wouldve chewed out masu at this point if that were the case i enjoy readin these#the thing is we just have to accept im very stupid and wont have a lot of commentary. just quiet note taking#and i very much do appreciate posts like these cause its a nice reminder for things im aware of but have become very passive to#like jo's passive exposure of his traumas is something im aware of and because of that i dont focus on it as much as i should#so thank you- to you and masu for writing as extensively as you do#again im just very dumb so i wont have anything else to add on that hasnt been already said#or it wont be anything i can just sit and write in a couple of minutes its something thatd prob take a while to write as in-depth as i want#which is why i feel bad for responding. Not At All with these types of asks LMAO CAUSE EVIDENTLY a lot of effort is done by you guys#and i appreciate it a lot so thank you again for writing in#arakawa as an abuse survivor is something i think of a lot and remembering his abuse as a child shines light on his actions and mentality#so i mean if you wanna share your thoughts on that go ahead ! just know. i prob will Also not have a lot to add on to it LMAO#LIKE THE BEST WAY I CAN INTERPRET MY LINGUISTIC INEPTITUDE IS JUST ME LISTENING my sister tells me i listen really well#and i do enjoy listening. because again im not smart enough to think of things on my own or i dont think its worth sharing some things#so always happy to read whatever you want to share
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the anon who asked about Megumi and Toji here, thank you so much for answering my question! I love your answers/posts with all that mental gymnastics and investigation, really!
I want to add something: Toji died in 2006, Megumi was even much younger the last time he saw Toji, so I understand if he doesn't remember everything about his father, especially if said father was absent. What made me think of 'repression/suppression' as you said, is the fact that he couldn't even "make the connection" with what happened in Shibuya, and we know Megumi is a smart boy. I mean ... he remembers that his father married Tsumiki's mother but it seems like he doesn't even remember his father's name? he can't make the connection between the name and the man who looks a lot like him? so I thought it could be somehing psychological? that's why I came to you with my question, to know your opinion about. I almost always see that Megumi's apparent disinterest in Toji is taken as a "normal" disinterest, and not as something deeper, with pain and anger behind it. thanks again!
P.S: the headcanon you brought up... it already hurt me to think about little Megumi, now even more.
P.S 2: sorry if there are mistakes, english isn't my language.
HEEEEEY anon! Welcome back. お帰り！
Thanks for the kind comments ;^; some times I do wonder if my mental gymnastics aren’t a bit on the deep end LOL, so I appreciate your comment a lot.
Man... all I'll say is that I'm glad I'm drinking coffee bahaha.
Put your thinking hat on because we either have a maths problem in the chronology of events or Gege has no clue about school-aged children.
Ok so... hear me out...
Regarding Toji dying in 2006, I've always wondered if that panel of baby Megumi looking all sad was Toji's last memory of him--it kind of feels like it.
It just didn't make sense in my head that it was the last time Toji saw him because Megumi looks younger than a 6 year old in the image.
Again, I am going by this idea that Toji married Tsumiki's mom when Megumi was 6 years of age (or in the 1st grade). And it’s not like one can make assumptions about 2D characters and their age.
If we do the maths, per the manga, Gojo is a second year (16/17 years old) during the Hidden Inventory Arc. Which means the events in the arc took place approximately 12 years prior to 2018, or as you say, in 2006.
(i.e. if Gojo is 28 in 2018, he would have been 16 in 2006)
BUT... if we do the maths again, per the manga, Toji married Tsumiki's mom when Megumi was in 1st grade, which would have been around 2009 (i.e. if Megumi is 15 in 2018, he would have been 6 in 2009).
Wait... what?
UNLESS, by 1st grade this is meant to be Kindergarten and not Primary/Elementary school? Which would have meant Megumi was 3 at the time, which would mean it was in fact in 2006 that Toji married Tsumiki’s mom.
Anon. either we just totally found a plot hole or I totally misinterpreted what "1st grade" is meant to entail.
It depends on whether the translators localized the text. So I went looking for Japanese raws (as I like to do in situations like these) aaaaaand.....
Nope... it indeed says “when I was in 1st grade” (shou ichi no toki).
So I did some more digging aaaaaaand....
According to romajidesu.com, it is a noun used for a first year elementary school student.
I also tried various google searches along the lines of “1st grade kindergarten Japan” but everything always came back to 1st grade = Primary/Elementary school.
Thoughts?
I have the feeling that since Gege revealed when Toji married Tsumiki's mom prior to starting the Hidden Inventory Arc, he probably did not think to double check his dates when he started the following arc.
It wouldn't be the first time he makes an honest mistake.
Maths aside...
Ya your train of thought makes a lot of sense!
If Megumi was indeed 3 when Toji abandoned him, then it would make all the more sense that Megumi does not remember him and we can just assume it’s because he was too young to create long-term memories about Toji (that hippocampus was still very much developing).
THIS TAKING PLACE IN 2006 WOULD EXPLAIN SO MANY THINGS TOO bahaha.
Also, I was totally thinking the same as you.
Like... Megumi, dude... you might as well be looking at your reflection in a mirror!
I look a lot like my either of parents depending on who sees me, but it’s not like I'd be able to recognize myself in them.
Honestly, your ask sent me on a goose chase because I have always seen Megumi as someone who represses himself. Part of it is my personal interpretation of some of the panels, and part of it is because that’s what the Jungian shadow is partly about--a storehouse for repressed materials.
So from that perspective, in my head, it makes sense that Megumi would repress memories of Toji. Repression is baked into his character from how I see it, and he learned it from daddy.
But alas, we don’t know that with certainty because Gege has not made a somewhat canonical explicit statement about it.
Megumi’s disinterest in Toji
Yeeeees, totally. I’ve seen that perspective about how Megumi truly does not care about Toji. Evidence of it is considered to be Megumi canonically saying “I don’t care where he is or what he’s doing”.
I may be contradicting myself here since I totally just wrote about what I consider to be canonical and how implied subtext is open to interpretation.
That said, my personal interpretation is very much based on real Psychological science:
From developmental research, I can tell you that a young child’s life completely revolves around their caregiver because it depends on them for EVERYTHING to survive in the world.
It isn’t until a child gets to be around school age (don’t quote me on the age, I could be wrong and I didn’t look it up this morning) that the child starts exploring relationships outside of the familial unit. This exploration of relationships outside of the familial unit becomes all the more obvious during the teen years.
So, honestly, it makes ZERO sense to me that Megumi might not have some sort of resentment or negative emotional associations to Toji since that period of time he might have spent with Toji is VERY formative emotionally and psychologically.
We’re talking about deep, archetypal emotional bonds and Developmental Psychology here. Needing to be looked after by our caregivers is baked into our human nature.
Consider how, from a Neuropsychological perspective, all of Megumi’s experiences with Toji were basically shaping his brain. And the only way Megumi would not care about Toji is if Megumi was truly unfeeling and unemotional since birth--in which case we would have a kid diagnosed with an antisocial personality disorder.
That’s also how you get a character like Tokyo Babylon’s Sakurazuka Seishiro shameless CLAMP namedrop, and Psychologically-speaking, even he is a conundrum.
But saying Megumi is, without a shadow of a doubt terrible pun intended, someone with antisocial personality disorder, is not an accurate assessment since Megumi is not without feelings or emotions. Quite the contrary, he’s shown to be very caring, compassionate and kind.
While I can’t confirm that what I just wrote is exactly what Gege had in mind, Gege appears to be someone who has an acute understanding of Psychology. What’s more, Jungian Psychology, which appears to have influenced jjk, is not mainstream Psychological science and is instead considered a Depth Psychology because it looks below the surface at the possible root causes of surface level thoughts and behaviors.
All that to say that, again, I can’t imagine Gege truly meant for Megumi to be truly disinterested in Toji.
Psychologically it just doesn’t make sense.
Personal side note: I remember several years ago, one of my best friends’ dad died in a car accident.
The image of my friend sitting on the floor, wearing a weird smile on her face and holding a glass full of red wine early in the morning as she tells me “my dad just died in a car accident” is burned into my mind.
I think she was heartbroken but was not sure how to come to terms with his death.
Now. This man was not a part of her life and whenever she talked about him she often talked about him being physically abusive and an alcoholic.
I think my friend could pretend all day long that she didn’t care about him, but in the end, when it came down to it, she couldn’t help but care.
Human nature.
p.s. 1 about my headcanon
AH SORRY ANON!!!! bahaha. I am a certified Angst Merchant TM. I either seem to have a lot of unresolved grief or I just have access to a deep pool of collective human grief that I like exploring from time to time because I am also a certified masochist.
tbh I came up with the headcanon one day when I wanted to write a fanfic and I was trying to come up with ideas to write about. The image I kept seeing in my mind’s eye was Megumi sitting alone in an almost empty room, the sun going down, and Toji nowhere to be seen.
Again, going back to this idea that a child should be completely unfeeling in this kind of scenario just makes ZERO sense. Even if it’s a headcanon, if you felt something when my headcanon conjured that image in your mind, just imagine how a child, Megumi in this case, might have felt living through that scenario.
p.s. 2 heeeeey, English isn’t my first language either. I appear to have mastery of English because I’ve been living in the US for the last 20 years.
Also, I would not have been able to tell that it isn’t your first language if you hadn’t said anything.
Cheers!
Great conversation. Thanks for reaching out :)
#a to the q!#off to adulting I go#and then to answer the ask of all asks#clamp ships fck yeah#fushiguro megumi
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► Takano Akira as Yamada Ichiro
#hypnosis mic#hypmic#hypmic stage#ichiro yamada#takano akira#buster bros#actors#akira's ichi is so sassy and sexy#the speed from wholesome smiley to dark sexy in that first gif#I love sad or hurt Ichi (sorry)#akira plays sad ichi too well give him awards#the dirty dawg#tdd era#battle of pride#rule the stage
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I am just absolutely in love with how you write! I think I have a good iromatsu idea; after a prank gone wrong Kara gives Ichi the silent treatment to the extreme; does not talk to him, sit near him, or even stay in the same room when they're alone and even switched sleeping spots. Kara thinks it'll teach Ichi a lesson, but really it devestates Ichi and Kara tries to comfort him now.
aaaa thank you!! everyone is so nice with compliments like that, it motivates me to write more and always puts a smile on my face to hear kind words!!! <3
and ahhh this is definitely a good Iromatsu idea!! it was so much fun to write ;7;
Ichi stop being so emotionally constipated and show your feelings to your brothers, they love you and it'll make you feel better ;w;
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In hindsight, perhaps Ichimatsu should have known better than to mess with Karamatsu’s guitar.
It would be one thing if he fucked with the leather jacket, or the sunglasses, or one of the tank tops with Karamatsu’s own face on it, because he’s pretty sure Karamatsu has an endless supply of those. His guitar, however, is something which doesn’t have a backup. It’s quite possibly the only thing Karamatsu loves more than himself, though obviously not as much as he loves his brothers.
For some stupid reason, it only hits Ichimatsu after the prank he pulls that this guitar is probably Karamatsu’s sole most important possession.
Of course, by the time it does hit him, the damage has already been done. He thought that the expression on his brother’s face would be over the top, hilarious, and the highlight of his day.
Instead, it’s burned into his brain in the worst way. When Karamatsu saw his younger brother letting the kitten in his lap bat at a ball made of his guitar’s strings, it was as if someone had just shoved a knife in his back.
God, Ichimatsu hates that kind of expression. That betrayed, wounded, raw look.
That hurts. What hurts worse is that for the rest of the day, it’s as if Karamatsu only has four brothers. Ichimatsu tries to apologize, and he’s met with Karamatsu walking out of the room entirely. No matter what he does, Karamatsu doesn’t want to be near him. He goes so far as to eat dinner in the other room with their parents rather than sit around a table with Ichimatsu.
Everyone knows what Ichimatsu did, but none of the others have ever seen Karamatsu quite so upset either. It would be a miracle if they aren’t all pissed at him, too.
The worst blow comes when they’re all getting ready for bed. Ichimatsu is more tired than usual for whatever reason, so he’s prepared to fall asleep the second his head hits the pillow. When he settles into his spot at one end of the futon, he rolls over with the intention of giving Karamatsu a gruff, apologetic hug… only to come face to face with very obviously not Karamatsu.
He hisses something about why the hell Totty is in Karamatsu’s spot, and Totty gives him the explanation that Karamatsu asked to switch tonight. “… But I’ll take the hug, though,” he teases as he cuddles up, so Ichimatsu can’t shove him away or he’ll be an asshole.
Even with the youngest sleeping soundly pressed against him, Ichimatsu barely sleeps a wink himself. He doesn’t like this. Despite the fact that he tries to convince himself he doesn’t give a shit about Karamatsu, the truth is that Karamatsu is still his big brother. The thought of admitting that he loves Karamatsu and thinks he’s cool leaves a horrible taste in his mouth, but…
He doesn’t like this.
He wanted to play a stupid prank and maybe just get on Karamatsu’s nerves a little bit. He never wanted to have Karamatsu so angry with him that he won’t speak to Ichimatsu, that he doesn’t even want to sleepnext to him.
This… hurts.
-
Although Ichimatsu may not sleep much during the night, he refuses to get up in the daytime when everyone else does.
Sometimes that’s not so worrying. The others know Ichimatsu sleeps a lot at odd hours when his depression kicks in, and rather than risk getting growled at, they often just let him sleep. As long as they can get him up in time for lunch, it doesn’t usually affect him too much.
… It’s after 2 P.M. now, though, and even with everyone knowing he’s awake, Ichimatsu won’t get out of bed.
Out of all the brothers, regardless of the fact that Karamatsu has been trying to teach his little brother a lesson, he’s probably the most worried about this. Even though he’s definitely angry about what Ichimatsu did, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to forgive him.
It was heartbreaking to see that Ichimatsu would damage something that means so much to Karamatsu. Even with how much Ichimatsu doesn’t like him, Karamatsu never thought his little brother would intentionally do anything to his guitar.
But… he did notice the look on Ichimatsu’s face every time Karamatsu gave him the cold shoulder. Combined with the fact that Ichimatsu is staying in bed, Karamatsu thinks that maybe he went a bit too far with this punishment.
Ichimatsu doesn’t even lift his head when Karamatsu pokes into their shared bedroom and calls, “Brother?”
So he creeps in a bit more. And more. And more, until he’s standing at the edge of the futon, five empty spaces away from his brother. Most of the time, he’s so good with words… even if he has to plan them out beforehand, or even if they sometimes sound painful.
Now, he doesn’t really know what to say.
“Ichimatsu…” He frowns and traces circles in the carpet with his foot. “It’s nearly three in the afternoon. Aren’t you getting up?”
What he gets in response is a listless shrug. It’s not in typical Ichimatsu fashion, though. “What’s the point? Leave me alone. You haven’t had any problem doing that so far.”
Ouch. Unfortunately, Karamatsu supposes that fair is fair.
He inches forward until he’s not too far, then lowers himself down next to Ichimatsu. “I’m… sorry about that.”
“No, you’re not. And you shouldn’t be. I’m garbage, and what I did was shitty. Shittier than you and your entire wardrobe.” Ichimatsu’s knees come up to his chest, body curling into a tight ball. “I deserve to have you mad at me for the rest of my life. You hate me and I hate myself, too. I’m…”
There’s a weird sound, like Ichimatsu is choking on his own words. “… I’m sorry. Just go away. Don’t bother with me. I’m not worth your time.”
Every word feels like there’s a vise tightening, tightening, tightening, around Karamatsu’s heart. That’s… what?? Ichimatsu really thinks that Karamatsu hates him?
He definitely wouldn’t have expected to see his younger brother so broken up about that fact. Ichimatsu often goes out of his way to avoid Karamatsu’s company, so shouldn’t he be relieved that Karamatsu stopped wanting to be around him?
A quiet moment passes before Karamatsu reaches to drape an arm over Ichimatsu. There’s practically no resistance as he pulls the fourth eldest in against him, gently rubbing his shoulder.
“I don’t hate you,” he murmurs. “It’s… true that I’m upset with you. Or at least I was. This was… I wasn’t going to shut you out forever. To be honest, I thought you would be happy that I wasn’t bothering you anymore. I anticipated that perhaps my silence would make you angry. That you might snap at me after a day or so and tell me you were sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel…”
He shifts his hands around with the intent of trying to move Ichimatsu to face him, but stops cold when his palm meets dampness on his brother’s cheek.
Is Ichimatsu… crying??
Karamatsu freezes at that thought. He can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen Ichimatsu cry since they were kids. Then, he pulls his little brother in closer. There’s no struggling, no protests, just a stifled sob as Ichimatsu ducks his head down.
Karamatsu rests his head against the top of Ichimatsu’s. “… Did my treatment really hurt you that badly? Are you really that anguished by the idea that I would stop wanting anything to do with you?”
There’s no response except a nod, something that Ichimatsu seems to try and stop anyway.
A soft exhale puffs against Ichimatsu’s neck, and the way he stiffens suggests that the sudden warm air sent a shiver up his spine. “I’m… so sorry. I truly didn’t believe it would hurt you so much.”
“You’re still my Karamatsu-nii-san.” The admission is followed by a sniffle as he rubs at his eyes. “Just because I’m trash doesn’t mean I don’t…”
“Ahahah… you love me. That’s it, right?” Karamatsu teases lightly. He tugs his baby brother closer still, and is surprised when Ichimatsu abruptly rolls over to bury his face against Karamatsu’s chest.
Ichimatsu’s skinny arms find their way around Karamatsu’s waist, hugging as tightly as he can bring himself to. He hates it. He hates that Karamatsu is right,and how he can’t even actually say the words himself, and crying, and everything about this. Why is anyone, even his big brother, still bothering with him?
“… Please don’t be mad at me anymore,” he mumbles. That begging voice is so small and barely even sounds like him, even to himself. “I don’t… I don’t like it.”
Karamatsu chuckles and gingerly rubs Ichimatsu’s back. It’s a little sad to consider, but their relationship has become so strained now that they’re adults, to the point that Ichimatsu being so honest about his feelings to anyof his brothers, especially Karamatsu, is rare. It would probably be easier to pull his teeth than to get him to confess that something is wrong until it’s bubbling over and he can’thide it anymore.
He holds Ichimatsu as close as he can, and it feels like Ichimatsu is trying to keep himself tiny and safe inside the embrace. A kiss is pressed to the top of Ichimatsu’s head; a shaky, tearful breath is the instant reaction. “All is forgiven, my brother. I would never dream of truly abandoning you like that. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for upsetting you to such a degree.”
He gives a cautious squeeze, reassured when Ichimatsu squeezes back. “You are one of the most important people in my world, Ichimatsu. You’re my little brother, and I love you very much, and I regret to inform you that there is most likely nothing you can do to ever change that.”
Ichimatsu relaxes, if only slightly. He’ll get up soon, and even though hearing these things isn’t a magic switch that makes him feel better about himself or what he’s done… it’s a comfort. It means that Karamatsu isn’t so angry with him that he’s been disowned.
“If you are ever hurt or insecure about any of that,” Karamatsu hums softly, “all you need to do is come find me and let yourself be held in my arms. I hope you know that.”
… Well.
If he didn’t before, he certainly does now.
#Osomatsu san#whump#angst#Iromatsu#Ichimatsu#Karamatsu#emotional whump#AAAAAA MY HEART SHE IS FULL#Ichibabe just talk to ur brothers THEY LOVE YOU AND KARA WOULDN'T HATE YOU#aaaaa my boys ;v;
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“you can shoot—? w-wait! don’t hurt shuichi!” she let go of his hand and stepped in front of him, blushing as she soon grabbed his fingers with the opposite hand. “it- it was my fault... i-i’m sorry kiibo i... i just wanted to- shuichi- i think- i think i got nervous when you l-looked up my... my dress and-” she didn’t know what she was saying, just trying to form some sort of sequence of events, “i didn’t mean to fall, kiibo! i’m sorry, i-i know i promised and- but i’m okay, my head just hurts a little- j-just stop being so mean to shuichi!” she eventually got out, finally realizing that kiibo seemed to yell at him whenever he was given the chance.
“he’s my- he’s my...” for some reason, she struggled to say the word, “he’s... my f-friend! and so are you and i- i just want you two to be friends too i.... p-please... we- we shouldn’t be arguing right now- whatever he did to you, kiibo, i’m sure he’s sorry...!”
“what he did to me? fumiko, what about what he did to-”
ding dong bing bong dingdngondhfshfg
fumiko gasped, stumbling backwards into the detective when she heard the chime.
“it’s time for the long awaited class trial!” announced monokid, which definitely took everyone’s attention away from whatever the hell was going on with fumiko and shuichi and towards the screen. she froze in her spot, terrified of what was to come. what if she messed something up? what if she distracted shuichi too much? what if she—?
“no it’s not! we’re just announcing that the photos are ready! stop interrupting me!” the pink one yelled, “anyway, i’ll be in the warehouse.” fumiko tuned out the noises around her, still calming herself from the panic she felt from the first misunderstanding. shuichi had to have been supporting most if not all her weight at this point, she couldn’t even feel her legs. she also hadn’t realized that, when she panicked, she interlocked her fingers with those she was holding, squeezing tightly. her breathing was still uneven, but she was actively trying to calm herself down. no, she wasn’t going to run away, she couldn’t. she made a promise that she was going to stay, and she wasn’t planning on breaking it any time soon.
“hey, shuichi-” kaede spoke, nervously placing her hand on shuichi’s shoulder. “we- um, no- you guys can head to the warehouse! i’ll stay back here and ask some more questions, i think we’re almost out of time, heh...” she gave a slightly sad smile, knowing that she’d only see them for so much longer before...
she didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to the pair as fumiko wordlessly ran out of the room with him, hand-in-hand. kiibo stood there in silence, choosing not to follow them as he didn’t want to make fumiko more upset with him.
she still didn’t realize that she was holding his hand until her palm started feeling sweaty. even sweatier than they felt after her k- accident with shuichi. “u-um... shu...ichi?” she could hardly speak, her voice just barely above a whisper. she cleared her throat as they walked, pulling her hand away and wiping it on the skirt of her dress before instinctively going back in to hold his again. her fingers just barely touched his palm before she hesitated and held his wrist instead. “i’m- it wasn’t your fault- uh- what happened in... there. i’m sorry- i was- i really was just trying to help...” she quieted as they made their way up the stairs from the basement, “i-i get it if you’re mad at me- um- i mean, i hated it, too. but... it was just an accident, right? it won’t happen again....?” she lied about hating it, both to him and herself, convinced that it would make him feel better about it. she thought back to the morning where she’d peppered his face in tiny kisses as they woke up, chuckling softly to herself at the pleasant memory.
soon enough, they were in the warehouse, and the tiny little pink bear was waiting for them.
“ahhh...” she sighed happily, “young love, it really is beautiful... but remember to use protection! wouldn’t want to give birth in a killing game, haha!”
fumiko went wide-eyed, glancing at shuichi, then back to monophanie. “i- we- we’re aren’t- we’re just friends!” she said, still holding shuichi’s wrist tightly. “s-stop...! just give us the damn pictures!” she shouted, a dark blush forming on her face.
she handed them three envelopes, saying there was one for each camera. fumiko was excited to see what they’d been planning, and how it would help them solve this! she eagerly ripped open one of the envelopes, tossing it on the floor as she flipped through the photos.
“h-hey, look! a picture of me falling! gotta frame that one, heh...” she flipped through some more before stopping again, a stupid smile plastering across her face.
“cute...” she thought out loud quietly before showing shuichi the picture of himself messing with the camera, giggling, “it’s shuichi! is he the culprit—? s-sorry... i probably shouldn’t joke about that...”
"I'm not mad at you, but you should be more careful-!" He cut himself off as he realized she was talking about the kiss. He felt his spirits slightly dampen as she confessed that she disliked it, his body reacting accordingly as he slightly slumped his shoulders. So it seemed what he felt wasn't mutual. Well, even so, she had that so-called 'husband' — though he still believes him to be false. "Y- yeah..." Despite finding himself wanting to just look her dead in the eye and say, 'Would it be bad if it did happen again?' he knew that would be crossing the line. So he just, went along with things, as he usually does.
Shuichi immediately started searching through the pictures, flinching as he caught sight of the picture of himself that Fumiko showed him. "A- ah, no that's embarrassing though-" he pitifully laughed, gently taking the photo from her before picking up the tattered envelope on the floor and shoving the picture inside.
Whilst he was near positive that he heard her utter out the word, 'cute', he was unable to react quick enough as she said something else that caught his attention. "Culprit?" He perked his head up, she was probably joking, right-? His expression softened as she confirmed it.
Shuichi forced a laugh as to not make her feel bad; it was alright to make jokes, right? It's good to keep spirits up, especially during a despairing investigation and the soul-crushing reality that they were all probably going to die in this killing game.
His laughing briefly skidded to a halt.
Clearing his throat to fill in the gap of empty silence, he decided to divert both of their attention back to the picture of her falling from the bookshelf. It was... a chaotic picture to put it lightly. Seconds before the crash, more so, the kiss.
Bringing his hand up to absentmindedly fiddle with his lip, he gazed at her with a slightly serious expression. With a soft, but scolding voice, he paid extra attention to his tone of voice, not wanting a repeat of the incident in the dining room. "Y- you really should've been more careful though... What if you got hurt?" He furrowed his brow as he thought further, "Not only that, actually... How- How did you get up there in the first place...? And, um, why?"
There was little to no good reason why she was up there in the first place, let alone why. But even so, he needed to know; not only for her safety and to tame his growing concern, but for the investigation.
"Spare no detail, I- I can understand... Probably. And it might be important to the investigation...!" God, Shuichi stop talking. Honestly, he probably should've asked her from the get-go about how she got up there. One second she was upstairs, another second she was tumbling into his arms from the fucking sky. Maybe she was an angel? Or some sort of godly being... that could perhaps, fly?
Obviously not, but Shuichi's romanticized, and elevated view of her certainly deemed it possible. But I guess this is what happens when you drive yourself insane with the slow burn and angst.
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No Regrets
Thank you for waiting patiently 😭 hope you enjoy this one!
Requested Anonymously!
[Ichigo Kurosaki ; #13 "It's midnight, what do you want?" ]
"..he's late..." The girl sighed as she got up from the chair, disappointment weighing her down as she left the cafe. She could feel a lump settling in hee throat, the tears begging to fall, the sorrow wanting to be released. "How..rude.." She sighed shakily as she walked, wiping her eyes. Of all days, Ichigo was late to their anniversary. She wouldn't have minded so much if it'd been any other day since he was often out and about fighting Hollows or saving Soul Society or saving someone on general. She understood what it meant to him, so she tried not to let it get to her that much. But this was the third time he's blown her off, the other two times were just dates he'd wanted to go on since they couldn't hang out all that much. He apologized, she understood but today was their two year anniversary, the first one they couldn't celebrate because she had gotten really sick and she spent it being taken care of. Did he forget? Did he get held up in something? She halted momentarily in her walk of sadness, "..is he..okay?". Did he get hurt? She closed her eyes, "..he always comes back hurt". No matter how much she tried to get him to understand, he seemed to always return to her battered and bruised. She tried to understand him, tried to be understanding. But sometimes she couldn't help it, she was allowed to feel this way, right? She was allowed to worry and care for her boyfriend, right? She sighed deeply, "..whatever...I'll see him tomorrow anyways".
She did see him the next day in school, calm and cheery, as if he hadn't forgotten something. She had hoped it was because he'd gotten caught up with fighting hollows and he ended up running late, but it seemed that was only half the case. He was caught up with fighting Hollows, but he'd also forgotten all about their anniversary. Which pissed her off even more. So when his eyes brightened as he walked into the classroom, waving and calling her name, she couldn't help but turn away, ignoring him. He deadpanned, "...what..was that?". "Maybe she didn't hear you" Chad let out beside him. "We're in a classroom, not outside" Uryu said as he fixed his glasses "She just ignored you, Kurosaki". "...yeah, I saw that" he deadpanned even more "Thanks for stating the obvious". "Anytime" the Quincy said as he walked away. "..but why is she ignoring me?" Ichigo asked as he sat down, eyes glued to the girl as she stared out of the window. Was he forgetting something? His eyes widened, was it her birthday?! No. He calmed down, her birthday was last month. Oh! He forgot to call her last night! That's what it was! She was probably so worried about him that she couldn't sleep. He sighed with a smile, "I'll apologize after school". And so he did. He was able to catch up to her as she was on her way home, a grin on his lip "Y/n-chan! Sorry about last night, I was going to call you but I passed out as soon as I got home". Her hope rose, he hadn't forgotten then! He was just tired! "It's okay! I'm just glad you didn't forget..I waited at the cafe all night, but I'm glad you're okay at least. No wounds this time" she smiled. "Huh?..." He let out, confused "Cafe?..". She blinked a few times, "Yeah..you..were supposed to meet me there yesterday..wait--you thought I was mad because you didn't call me?". He raised an eyebrow, "..I always call you before bed, so I thought...wait, were we supposed to go on a date?!". He bowed, "I'm so sorry! I forgot!". "..no, it wasn't a date" she said softy as tears welled up in her eyes. He stood up straight, eyes wide as he noticed the tears "...Y/n-chan..". "I'm going home" she said, turning on the heels of her shoes and walking away "I can walk myself home, don't worry". He reached his hand out, "W-wait, Y/n-chan?". But she didn't stop, he sighed sadly "...what was that...". What did he forget?
When he got home, he plopped down on the bed with a loud sigh. "..if she wasn't mad because I didn't call her..what was she mad about? Why was she at the ...cafe?". He shot up in bed, eyes wide as he jumped off the bed and went straight to the calendar on his desk. He deadpanned, "No..way...it was yesterday?! Ughh!". He tugged on his hair, "How could I forget our anniversary!!". He plopped back down on the bed, no wonder she was ignoring him. How could how make it up to her? Flowers? He'd need more than that, so some chocolates too? Big flowers and a big box of chocolates! No, that wouldn't work either. She was a simple girl, so he didn't want to make it seem like he was trying to buy her over. Ah, he really messed up this time. He sighed, "...what do I do...".
He ended up tossing and turning all night, sighing in frustration by the time it was midnight. He couldn't let things continue to fester like this until tomorrow, he didn't want to end up losing her! She'd done so much for him, she never tried to get him to stop being a Soul Reaper, she always supported him despite the wounds he'd greet her with. So what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he left thing like this? He owed her so much, he didn't want to ever take her for granted! Before he knew it, his feet had done what he was too cowardly to do: show up at Y/n's place. At midnight, when she was probably already asleep and comfy in her own bed. Still, he balled his fists, he couldn't go on like this. He wanted things to be okay between them, because when shit goes sideways, she's always there. She was his safe zone, and with her being angry, he was afraid she'd decide to leave him. He scowled lightly, he couldn't let that happen! He knocked on the door, breathing slowly to calm down. What would he say. Maybe he should've brought flowers? Or food? He deadpanned, what if she got more angry that he showed up at this time? What if she broke up with him! His mini freak-out session had been interrupted when the door opened, revealing a half-awake Y/n in her pj's. She raised an eyebrow, "Ichigo?...what..what are you doing here?". "I-I came to see you" he let out, looking away with a nervous grin as she scratched the back of his head "..sorry, it's kinda late...". "Kinda?" She deadpanned, "It's past midnight, what do you want? Did you really just want to see me? You could've waited till tomorrow..". "But you're angry with me" he pointed out "You would've ignored me like today..and I don't blame you either". Her eyes widened, "Did you..remember?". "I'm so, so, so sorry that I forgot about our anniversary" he bowed deeply "I don't have an excuse, I should've remembered since I was the one who picked that place for our anniversary. I'll make it up to you, Y/n! I promise! No matter how long it takes! I really like you a lot..and I don't want you to leave..". She sighed, a smile on her lips "Just hang out with me and I'll forgive you". "R-really?" He said wide eyed as he stood up "Of course! I'll give you all the cuddles you want too!". He pushed past her, grabbing her hand "C'mon! I'll start now!". "Huuh?!" She deadpanned as she struggled to close the door "W-wait! This can wait until tomorrow, Ichigo!". "Oh! Right!" He suddenly said, turning around and placing a quick yet passionate kiss on her forehead, leaving her in shock. "I haven't been a good boyfriend to you and yet..you don't let it bother you as much as it should! From now on, I'll become better! I'll make up for all of it and become a good boyfriend so that you don't regret sticking by me! So please! I know its selfish of me to ask but...please let me stay beside you too, Y/n-chan!" He grinned. Her eyes widened, brimming with tears "Ichi..go....you moron!". She wrapped her arms around him "Of course I'll stay beside you! I love you, idiot!". He smiled, wrapping his arms around her as well "Good! Lets cuddle now!".
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Oh don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me - Chapter 1 Part 8
The following morning he is woken up by knocking on his bedroom door.
“Come in?” It comes out as more of a question than an order. His father never knocks, Yuzu knocks thrice softly, and Karin just yells.
His answer appears in the form of one... Cherī. He seriously didn’t know her surname? How?
“Mornin',” She says, padding into his room. “Scoot over.”
“Why?” He asks, already doing what she said.
“’Cuz,” She plops onto his mattress, trying hard not to let her face touch his pillowcase. “Ah woke up early ta' get ‘ere.”
“Why?” He covers the lower portion of her body with his blanket, making sure that not a centimetre of skin could be seen.
“Get ready an' Ah'll tell ya.” She stretches like a cat, eyes already closed for a short nap.
He huffs but leaves for the bathroom, stopping to tell his father that a friend was in his room. He didn’t want her getting hurt just because of his norm.
Twenty minutes later, Ichigo returns to find that Cherī had covered her entire body and was sleeping with her head angled so that his sheets wouldn’t get dirtied by her makeup. She was also wearing a beanie, stuffed full with her hair. He almost feels bad waking her up.
Almost.
“Wake up, Cherī.” He shakes her shoulder and she groans, swatting and kicking.
“’n‘min’t.” She mumbles.
“We have school, and this is my bed.”
She cracks one eye open. She wasn’t wearing her contacts today. They were a blue so light it reminded him of ice.
“Our bed.” She says in a tone meant to be a correction.
Ichigo blinks. “No.” He tugs the blanket free from her grasp. “Come one, Yuzu made an extra plate of breakfast for you.”
“Ugh, fiiiine.” She finally stumbles out of bed.
The two make their way downstairs, bookbags in hand and hats on heads. His dad is overdramatic as always and starts bawling at his mother's poster. Cherī shoots Isshin curious and nervous looks. Yuzu and Karin are polite in their own way.
——————————
They're two blocks away from his home when Cherī says, “Hey, Ichi. Look.” When he gives her his undivided attention, she takes off the beanie. His jaw drops as she runs her finger through her dyed hair. “Sweet, right? It's Love Letter.” Her eyes are sparkling in the morning light, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.
Ichigo says nothing, just blinks. It takes a few moments longer for his mouth to start working and ask, “Why?”
She shrugs, “Ah’ve told ya, haven't Ah? Ah've been thinkin’ of dyein' ma' hair fer a while now. Now seems like a good time.” She aims to bump their shoulders but given the fact she's 5’1” with heels and he's 5’9”, she ends up bumping his shoulder with her head and shoulder checking his arm. “It just happens for me ta' dye ma' hair da same day we dyed yers. An' Ah'm sad ta’ say that any attention ya get at school, yer gonna havta share.” She says this in a mockingly sympathetic tone.
He snorts, eyes still not leaving her hair. He reaches out a hand and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. She has a small black heart earring.
“We'll be making quite the impression when we get there.” He says, taking off his own hat and running his fingers through the blue locks.
“Damn rite we will.” She growls. “An' we're gonna own it.”
Ichigo laughs at that.
——————————
They certainty made heads turn when they pass the gate. He pays them little mind, too busy listening to Cherī explain how there was no way Jonathan Harker wasn’t at least a little interested in Dracula. She also went on to explain that Henry Jekyll definitely had a crush on his friend Gabriel John Utterson, and that crush was transferred to Mr. Hyde. She then praised the amazing pun of, "If he be Mr. Hyde, I shall be Mr. Seek." Which is an amazing pun.
Before he knows it, they have reached his classroom. He sits on his chair and Cherī sits on his desk, bending and laying her right leg on the surface, not at all bothered by her skirt.
“Ichigo!” Keigo loudly greets, throwing himself at the teen.
Ichigo allows himself to be tackled. That is enough for the brunette to jump back in surprise. His eyes then fall on Cherī who is looking at them curiously.
“Ichigo,” Tatsuki says, eyeing his hair. “You’ve changed your hair.”
He shrugs, a touch amused by their surprise. “Decided that it was time for me to change it. She,” He juts a thumb at the girl sitting on his desk, “Helped.”
The ravenette eyes Cherī, suspicion clear in her eyes. “Arisawa Tatsuki.”
“Akao Cherī.” She chirps back. So that’s her surname.
“So, what brings you here, Cherī?” Tatsuki asks.
“Please call me Akao.” The girl retorts. “I’m explaining to Ichigo the homoerotic undertones in Frankenstein, and how Victor was the reason his whole life burned down. Not because of the creature he created, but because he was too scared to own up to it. The moment it was given life, Victor fled his laboratory, naïvely thinking that it would leave him be, and afterwards started blaming it for the misfortune that struck his life when he himself was to blame.”
There she goes speaking understandably. But she did make a good argument on Frankenstein.
Tatsuki blinks, turning to face him with a questioning gaze.
Ichigo straightens and says, “But how was he to know what was going to happen? Victor didn’t expect for the creature to murder.”
“Yes, but he never actually does anything about it. He only moans and whines about the misfortune. When Justine is accused of murder, instead of making up a believable lie about how he had unintentionally made an enemy who had sworn to kill his family or something like that to save Justine, he just says she's innocence and fucks off. He never takes responsibly for his actions, preferring to blame the creature he had created out of the desire to show that breathing life into a corpse was possible.”
He nods, “True.”
“Well, time for me ta' go.” She jumps off his desk, bypassing his friends and desks for the door. “See ya at lunch, Ichi.” She calls, waving goodbye.
“See you later.” He calls back.
The moment she is out of sight, Keigo turns to him with a wail. “Ichigo! How could you!? You've been keeping a babe like her to yourself only!”
Ichigo glares, “Don’t you dare talk about Cherī like that!” He growls, more venom in his voice than intended. Keigo immediately stops at that, looking a touch scared. Ichigo sighs, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”
“You’re awfully protective of her.” Tatsuki states.
“Well, yeah.” Because how could he not be?
“How long have you known her? I haven’t seen her around before.”
The now bluenette leans back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling in thought. “Nearly two months.”
“Two months? And we're only learning about her now?” Her brows are nearly touching her hairline.
He shrugs, “She’s in a different class.”
Tatsuki purses her lips but doesn’t say anything.
#bleach#bleach au#kurosaki ichigo#akao cherī#cherī akao#ichigo kurosaki#The Past is Never Dead AU#Protector and Cherry AU
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:000 Offends me?? For wanting to read my writing??? Anon, I adore you, you’re so sweet and I appreciate you being considerate of me <3 Thank you for the sweet ask and just for you, I will post a snippet of the first draft of Neo!Blue Star that I’m trying out!
Love,
Admin Mango-Chan
(Reposting this bc tumblr hates me and refuses to let me format my posts dammit)
NEW! Blue Star Sneak Peek under the cut!
Pairing: Oikawa Tooru x Reader
Chapters: [In Progress]
Genres: Fluff, angst, sexual implications/content
Warnings: None in this snippet
Summary: After a physically and emotionally traumatizing fall during Nationals in your first year of high school, you’ve decided that you hate volleyball now. You transfer to Seijoh High and apparently you’re an anime protagonist, because even when you want to keep your head down, drama seeks you out. You meet an avid fanboy of yours, come across an old friend, and apparently your childhood crush is stupidly hot now, so finishing high school is looking to be a lot harder than you thought.
That morning, I noticed someone staring at me, but I figured I was just being paranoid. I felt eyes on me again on my way back to the classroom. New kids get stares, sure but this dude’s gaze was locked on me.
He was a bit on the taller side with glasses and a ash brown undercut. Even with the glare from his glasses, I felt the intensity of his stare. His stare cut across the hall from his place leaning by the window, surrounded by a couple other students I assumed were friends of his. Despite their presence, his sole attention was on me, and I felt him looking at me all the way up until I got back to class.
‘Well, that was super creepy,’ I thought, but I ignored the uneasy feeling and opened my notebook to start class again.
Not a whole lot happened that first week of school. I went to class, that weird guy stared at me during breaks, then I went home. People stayed away from me and I kept my distance from them. It was the perfect setup. I did as much homework as I had the energy to do, and on my worse days, Wakatoshi came over to hang out and help me through the rest of it.
Nothing interesting happened until the following Tuesday, after I’d stayed behind after school to talk to an advisor. That was when I ran into that creepy weirdo in the stairwell after school.
“Oh, it’s you! Hi!” He grabs my hand in both of his. I immediately yank it back, but he doesn’t seem to care. Instead of replying, I just stare at him. He takes a step forward, ending up even deeper in my precious personal space.
“I’m Itoi Justin! I can’t tell you how excited I am to meet you!”
I lean back and eye him warily, getting a pretty good idea of where this conversation was headed.
“Uh, okay,” I say dumbly.
This Itoi is apparently perfectly content with having a one-sided conversation.
“I’ve been following your career since forever! I was so sad when you disappeared after your injury, and to think I’d meet you here of all places! It’s just-- I mean--!”
The guy is absolutely breathless in excitement, and it’s getting super uncomfortable.
“Look,” my nails scrape at the inside of my bracelet, “I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not her.”
I sidestep him to make for the exit, but he gets in front of me. Once again, he’s way too close.
“No!” He shakes his head so hard I’m worried his glasses are gonna fly off, “I’d know you anywhere! You’re her, you’re the Blue Star!”
Blue Star. Huh. I haven’t genuinely been called that in a long time.
“You used to be-- Hey, are you okay? I’m not gonna bite you, y’know.”
I glare up at him. He seems to shrink back a bit even though he’s almost a head taller than me.
“Well, I’m in an empty stairwell with some guy I don’t know who likes getting up in my personal space,” I poke a finger into his shoulder and he steps back willingly, “And he’s bringing up old shit that I moved here to avoid, so I can’t say I’m having a great time right now.”
Itoi visibly deflates. Even his glasses seem to slide down his nose a little bit in disappointment. He looks so sad that I feel kinda bad for being mean to him, even though I’m like this to everyone.
“Oh, I, uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he says quietly. He shifts in his spot like he wants to stay, but is having second thoughts.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, shoving my hands into the pocket of the hoodie I’m wearing under my uniform blazer. I brush past him, fully intending to make a hasty exit, but I can’t seem to get myself to leave. Cursing myself, I turn back around.
“Fine, Ichi--”
“Itoi.”
“--you come on a little strong, but I appreciate that you were my fan at some point.”
I take a labored seat on the stairs and try my best not to manspread in a skirt. Resting my elbows on my thighs I look back up at him.
‘Mm, he’s pretty cute,’ I think to myself.
It seems like all the life came back to him with that one sentence pseudo-apology. His eyes are shining with delight and he takes a seat next to me. He acknowledges my need for space, as he slides away from me to the other side of the stair.
“My father’s a journalist for the same publisher as Volleyball Monthly. He took me to one of your games for an article of his and I’ve been a fan ever since,” he tells me. “Even after my dad transferred to a different magazine, I kept following your career online.”
I make a face like I drank rotten milk, “Why?”
Itoi turns to me. For the first time, his face is missing the overwhelming excitement and it’s replaced by gentle, but passionate, admiration.
He grins, “I wondered that myself. I thought it was weird how interested I was in some random city girl’s volleyball career.”
“It is pretty weird,” I say.
The brunette huffs a laugh at my comment, “Maybe, but… I don’t know. It’s like when I saw you play, you weren’t just playing the game. It seemed like the game flowed through you. Your game came as naturally to you as breathing, and I could understand how you got your nickname. I never saw someone shine so bright.”
Even while my nails are nervously dragging against the engraving, I resist my desire to flee. Of course I’d been praised before, but never so openly and so, I guess, genuinely. My heart is stuttering in my chest in embarrassment, and I can’t seem to keep my voice stable.
“I-- Uh, thanks,” I grunt.
Itoi leans in further, “But I confess, I came to talk to you for a reason.”
“You came to murder me horribly.”
“Sadly, no.”
“Darn.”
The boy giggles. He looks forward and seems to stare off into space. “So, after I saw you and how electric you were playing volleyball, I tried to learn to play myself.”
“And how’d that go?”
“Terribly. I have the athletic skills of soft tofu.”
The corners of my mouth lift slightly.
“Once I realized I’d never be good at volleyball ever, I became a manager of the boys’ team in my first year. I’m better at the thinking and the analyzing, y’know?”
“We’re really playing into that glasses character stereotype, aren’t we?” I quip.
“You bet we are. The thing is, there’s a certain level of thinking to the game that requires experience on the court. I can’t provide that, but--” his intensity is back up and his eyes are boring into my soul, “You can.”
I pause, taking in everything he’s saying. The implication of what he’s asking washes over me like a hurricane.
“No.”
“Hear me out--!”
“No way!”
I stand up and stomp towards the exit.
“You need to join a club anyway!” He says desperately. Itoi gets up to follow me.
I reply without turning around, “I don’t care.”
“Don’t you want to be involved with volleyball again?” he asks.
My jaw clenches almost painfully. He takes me by the arm, and rather than slap him silly, I say nothing, and he continues.
“You used to love it. I can’t pretend to know what you’ve been going through, but I can’t imagine you want to abandon it completely,” he says desperately.
His tone makes my chest hurt for some reason. Right now, he’s annoying the crap out of me. He met me today. He’s only ever seen the me play volleyball at my tragically early prime, and he’s naive to think that using some lines an anime protagonist would say right before the final battle would magically fix every problem I’ve ever had since I ate shit in front of hundreds of people a year ago. I couldn’t tell you how I feel about abandoning volleyball but I do know that I feel like I want to vomit whenever I see a net.
I violently wrench my arm away and put space between us.
“You’re right,” I snap. “There’s no way you could understand what I’m going through. But don’t feel bad,” I hitch my bag up higher and throw a look backwards over my shoulder, “Not a single person does. Find yourself another manager.”
As I leave, I fully expect Itoi Justin to stop fanboying once and for all after finding out that the Blue Star is a bitchy, cynical person who can’t even play volleyball anymore anyway. I guess it was my fault for underestimating his blind faith in me.
“So?” he asks.
I stop in the doorway in surprise.
“What?”
He crosses his arms, making no move to come closer to me now that he has my attention. I could walk out the door right now, heaven knows I wanted to, but somehow that asshole knows I’m going anywhere.
“Of course no one understands how you feel. People may have seen you get injured or have heard of it, but in the end, you’re the one that got hurt. How’s anyone else supposed to know what you’re thinking? Bite and snap at me all you want, but it won’t make me feel your pain.”
He runs a hand through his hair, “I want you to be co-manager with me. I’m in my third year and I want the team to be taken care of after I graduate. I’m not asking you to play again or to give me an answer right now, just… Just consider my offer, okay? No one on the team knows who you are, if that makes you feel any better. And there’s one more thing...” he hesitates.
“Hurry up,” I say.
“The truth is, Seijoh has never gone to Nationals before,” he says slowly. “But you? You were projected MVP for a team almost certain to make it to at least the semi-finals!”
I give him a look, “And we both know that definitely didn’t happen.”
“I know, I know! I just-- They - the boys, I mean - have been working so hard and they’re so talented, (L/N). Please, you need to join a club anyway, and if you can’t do it to save your own soul or as a favor to me, can’t do it to help them? You remember wanting to go to Nationals, don’t you? Volleyball Monthy listed you as the number--” I cut him off.
“Holy shit, you talk so much it makes my head hurt!” Rubbing my forehead, I think about my first year in high school. He’s wrong about most things he said about me, but he’s right that, at one time, I wanted nothing more than to win Nationals. I remember wanting it so bad, by entire being would electrify just thinking about it.
Itoi waits patiently as I stare at the floor in careful deliberation. With a loud sigh, I look back up at him.
“Fine,” I snap.
“You’ll consider it?” he practically screeches.
“I’ll consider considering it,” I grumble and try once more to take my leave. He doesn’t stop me this time, but when I’m out of sight, I can hear his excited screaming echoing throughout the stairwell.
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Yeah, it's ok and you don't have to explain anything sweetie 💙💙. Sorry for making you uncomfortable. So let me request again. Romance scenario for teacher Matsu and a workmate.
is ok! and sorry for gettin this out so late i fjsdhfkj - idk what a constant motivation is and i wish it would hit me soon... 6 drabbles below!
[[oso]]
“And... there!” You send a soft smile to the teen you had just finished patching up, before grabbing a tissue and passing it over. “You can stay here until you stop crying, okay?”
The student nods and sniffles and takes the tissue, already dabbing at their eyes when you hear a familiar knock on the door frame.
You stand up and turn, the smile on your face turning to confusion when you see the bruise on the Math teacher’s face. It takes a few long strides for you to be right there in front of him, already fussing over his appearance.
“Osomatsu! What the hell?!” you hiss out, hand up and prodding at his swollen, discolored cheek. Your eyes soften at his wince, and you pull your hand away when his head drops.
“Ichimatsu hit me for being an idiot,” he mumbles. The eldest of six looks up and behind you for a moment, before stepping forward and leaning his weight on you. “I want a hug...”
You wrap your arms around him, mostly to steady the pair of you from the unexpected weight and a bit to hide the embarrassment on your face at the sudden closeness. There was a student in here, after all - “Hey, what... let me take care of you, get off me -”
The teacher hums and wraps his arms loosely around you, and you can nearly feel the contentedness rolling off of him. “This is taking care of me. I feel so loved right now~”
You give him a quick jab to the side, and he whines as he lets go. “Sir, I have others to take care of.” You send Osomatsu a stern look, while he gives his normal shit-eating grin. “Go grab an ice pack, idiot...”
[[kara]]
You sigh as you step out of your office, clipboard in hand and annoyance showing on your face. “So, Mr. Matsuno...” Your eyes move from your clipboard to the teacher who looked absolutely miserable sitting in the waiting chair. Teachers had the choice to go home if they were feeling unwell, from what you remembered, so... “Why are you here?”
He looks up at you, and you almost feel yourself start to pity him. “I feel like shit.” It was a very blunt statement, and one that you really didn’t expect to come from the English teacher. Still, though, you keep quiet, instead motioning for him to continue. “My throat hurts, and my head feels like - eugh...” He drops his head into his hands and lets out a small whine.
Another sigh comes from you as you call him into your office, stepping in first to go ahead and get the thermometer out and covered in its disposable plastic. One-time use for each patient. It only takes a moment for you to take his temperature and - yeah, that’s definitely a fever.
“Take this, and please go home,” you say, shaking a few pills into his hand that would - hopefully - help the fever go down.
“Come with me?” He sounds pathetic, honestly, and for a moment you were about to say yes - but you have a job to do, and it’s still 30 minutes before you can leave.
“I can’t, Karamatsu,” you murmur, reaching out to gently smooth down his hair. “I still have the rest of the day to get through. Go...take a nap in your car or something. I’ll be out when i can.” You give the teacher a small smile, despite the way his eyes watered and his lip trembled.
[[choro]]
“Well...this is a bit ironic.” You stare up at the ceiling of your office, feeling the dull ache of a headache starting to build in the back of your skull. Your throat hurts, and you can’t recall why or when it started to happen - but you know that you collapsed onto your colleague after he had come in to get his hand bandaged from a broken glass incident.
“Be quiet,” the Chemistry teacher mumbles, laying a cold rag on your forehead before shuffling around and looking for the pills you told him to grab. “You’re the school nurse, you should know to watch your health - not work yourself to the brink of passing out...what if I hadn’t been here to catch you?” He sounds annoyed, and rightfully so.
“Choro-” you start, but you’re cut off when a pair of pills are dropped into your mouth. A small cup of water is held out immediately after, and you hold the rag on your forehead with one hand, pushing yourself into a sitting position with the other before taking the cup. After taking the water into your mouth, you swallow the pills and hand the cup back, a silent request for more water. “Hey, I really didn’t know I was about to collapse. I’ve been fine all day, I swear -”
“You spelled most of these student’s names wrong,” Choromatsu said, handing you the same cup with more water. He shows you your clipboard, where he refilled each students names with the correct spelling. You can feel heat rise to your face, and move the cold rag (which was more ‘cool’ than ‘cold’ by this point) to gently pat your cheeks. “Not to mention your writing is hardly legible. Is that normal for you?”
“...maybe...”
The teacher heaves a sigh before setting the clipboard down. “I’m going to talk with the headmaster. You’re going home.”
“Wait, what -”
“I’m going with you, dumbass.” Choromatsu’s cheeks flush a light pink as he turns his head away. “You - need someone to take care of you, and to make sure you get home safe.”
You laugh quietly as you watch him shuffle from the room.
[[ichi]]
“This is the third time this week, Ichimatsu.” You frown slightly as you clean the small cut on the Biology teacher’s hand, making sure to disinfect it before bandaging it. “And it’s still Tuesday. What’s up?”
The antisocial teacher frowns and turns his head to the side, though you don’t miss the way his cheeks dust a light pink. “I...” The man bites his lip and doesn’t finish his sentence.
A small sigh comes from you as you reach out to gently ruffle his hair. “You know, if you just wanna spend a few minutes in here every now and then, you don’t have to get hurt...” You smile at his cheeks turning redder and the small pout that formed. “So that was it, huh? You just wanted to see me?”
“Sh-shut up...” the teacher mumbles, bringing up his non-bandaged hand to cover his face. He stand up abruptly and shuffles to the door. He pauses for a moment and mumbles “I’ll be back...for lunch...” before leaving completely.
You smile to yourself as you start to straighten your office once more, greeting the student that comes in with your normal smile. You were probably going to tease the Matsuno about this later, calling it a ‘lunch date’ - even if it was just eating inside of the teacher’s lounge a few doors down from your office.
[[jyushi]]
It was rare that you had to take trips outside of your office, but you knew - you just knew - that it would more than likely be because of an incident in the gym. And this time was no different.
“So,” you start as you step into the gym, the portable stretcher you have tucked under your arm. Just in case. “What happened?”
You stare at Jyushimatsu blankly as you wait for an answer. He wasn’t smiling as widely as he usually did, though if it was from shame or sadness you couldn’t really tell.
“We were playing basketball, and Mike landed wrong -” one of the students explained. He pointed out exactly who ‘Mike’ was, and you nod before moving over to him. After a short talk, you find out that yes, he can walk as long as he has support, and you give a small sigh of relief. That means you wouldn’t need the stretcher this time, thankfully.
“Jyush,” you call out. The teacher is by your side almost immediately, and he takes the stretcher without you needing to say anything. You send him a tight smile before standing and helping Mike to his feet, being his support as the three of you make your way back to your office.
. . .
It doesn’t take long to get his ankle wrapped and send him on his way with one of the school’s crutches. It does take long for you to convince the P.E. teacher to go back to the gym, as he still has one more class for the day, but the only way you can convince him to go is with a hug and a pat to the arm. And an offer to go out to eat dinner later.
[[todo]]
“So, Mr. Matsuno... what brings you here?” You eye the Art teacher with obvious confusion. He didn’t look sick, nor did it look like he was bleeding - not anywhere visible, at least. Did he come here on behalf of a student? Why not call, so you could go to the art room instead?
“I need a break,” he answers truthfully, sitting in the extra chair you kept in the room for occasions such as this. Not necessarily just for him, but this happened with some more often than not - it was usually your favorite student who came through, but still.
You sigh and take a seat in your own chair. “Of course you do,” you respond, turning in your chair to start on your headmaster-given paperwork. Really, you need a break too - but getting your work done now instead of letting it pile up was a nice idea.
Todomatsu whines loud enough for you to turn around. He’s pouting at you, and you raise an eyebrow to ask what he was doing. “Take a break with me~” he calls out in a cutesy voice, still pouting.
“I’ll take a break after work,” you respond, turning back in your seat to continue your work.
“You wanna take a break by getting dinner together?” You turn in your seat again to cast the teacher a ‘what the hell’ look. “Come on~ It’s no fun eating in all the time...”
“Okay, sure,” you murmur in response. You turn back to your work before adding, “only if you go back to teaching.”
A small grin forms on your face as you hear the door open and close soon after you say that.
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ok i dont know if you saw it but the new chapter seriously ruined me so i gotta rq a scenario where ichi's s/o is supporting him and cheering him up please im gonna cry
My eyes are CLOSED when chapters come out now, because they make me sad LMAO
“It’s just… too much,” Ichiro let out a sigh, sinking down to the floor, his back against the wall as he leaned his head back, “I’m trying my best and for what? Jiro and Saburo are always at each other’s throats and it just-”
He stopped himself, covering his face and taking in deep breaths - trying to keep himself together. You kneeled next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and letting him rest his head against your chest. You had never seen him like this - so vulnerable and upset, obviously hurt. You didn’t know what to do or say to help him either. He was always Ichiro the Big Brother - protecting and providing for his siblings at the expense of his own life. It had been that way for years and after the incident, he put more time into making sure they were taken care of. He carried so much responsibility, yet he got little recognition for all the sacrifices that he had to make in order to take them on.
“Ichiro,” You spoke softly, your fingers running through his hair as you held him, “You do so much - for your brothers and for me. I don’t know what I can say or do to let you know how much I appreciate and love you.”
“I feel like I don’t do enough…’ You sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and you could feel his shoulders shaking as he cried. You shifted, allowing him to lay his head in your lap, your fingers massaging his scalp as he started to calm down. It hurt you to see him so broken up and you just let him cry - it must have been a long time since he was able to let his guard down like this and just let everything out.
“You do everything and more, Ichiro,” Your hand moved from his hair, brushing his bangs out of his face and wiping the tears that were trailing down his cheeks, “I know Jiro and Saburo fight, but they are teenage boys and brothers - that’s not your fault. They appreciate everything you do and that’s why they fight over for your attention, they admired you so much.”
Ichiro smiled and nodded, starting up at the ceiling - his breathing slowly evening out. He sat up, looking at you with an apologetic smile, “Sorry for that-”
“Don’t be,” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Come to me anytime you need to. I’m always gonna be here to listen, okay?”
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Could I request the sextuplets confessing to their s/o?
Here you go anon! Sorry for the wait but I wanted to put a lot effort into this! Enjoy!
Osomatsu
· When you arrive at Chibi’s shop, red boi will alreadybe a drunk dork
· He’s a little woozy from drinking, so the minuteyou sit, he’ll just wrap his arm around your shoulders pulling you closer tohim while mumbling some random shit
· He reeked of alcohol, but you didn’t mind aslong as you got to see his adorable flushed face.
· “(Y/n)-chan *hic* h-have I ever told you *hic*that you were the most *hic* the most beautiful girl ever?” he said.
· Either, he’s completely drunk and he doesn’trealize what he’s saying or, jesus christ, he just confessed to you.
· “We need to get you home Oso.” You said glancingaway and getting out of his grip.
· But before you could get up, he grabbed yourwrist and got close to your face to leave a quick peck on your check.
· If you weren’t blushing from before, youDEFINITELY are now.
· “I mean it (Y/n)-chan.” He got up, still holdingon to your wrist and moved it to hold both your hands with his. “You are themost beautiful woman I’ve ever met. The way you smile, blush, eat breathe, Ilove it all and I… I love you. Please be my girlfriend.”
· He was smiling softly at you, wind blowing hishair softly, and the sunset making his blushing face even more irresistible tokiss.
· You smiled lovingly before giving him an answer.“Yes. Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend Oso.”
Karamatsu
· You got a note from Karamatsu to go to thebridge you guys hung out at to talk about some things. You gladly went to notdisappoint him (and possibly convince him to duet with you since you heard himsinging on his rooftop the other day. Bless this man’s voice)
· When you got there, you saw him with his usualleather jacket and black sunglasses, his body leaning against the stone rails.
· You never did get tired of that look, everyoneelse would see him and cringe, but you… you thought it made him look good. (SorryI really like his look it reminds me of the 50s and I love old fashion)
· You got closer to the bridge and when he noticedyour presence he started doing his Karamatsu pose.
· “My lovely Karamatsu girl” He grabbed a red rosefrom out his jacket and held it out to you “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you frombefore your beauty blinded me for it shines brighter than the sun and starscombined.” he says lowering his sunglasses to see you.
· You blush a little and take the rose from him.“Well howdy to you too, Kara.” (sorry but I say howdy sometimes) “If you weregonna flirt with me all day I should have worn something better, but anyway Iheard you singing the other day and I wanted to know if we can have a duet.”
· “Ah!” He glanced the other way avoiding eyecontact with you. (you could have sworn you saw his cheeks pink a little) “I… Ithank you my angel but that song was a little personal.”
· “Oh! I’m so sorry for being nosy but I can’t liethat you have the most beautiful voice.” You say
· His cheeks get even pinker. (UwU baby boiblushy) “T-Thank you…”
· “But I understand if you don’t want me to hearanything besides everyone needs a little privacy.”
· “N-NO!” he shouted. You were surprised a little,but then he cleared his throat and spoke softer. “I mean no, I don’t mind. Infact, I have something to tell you.”
· “I… I am in love with you, (Y/n)-chan. I cannotexpress how much joy you give me with just your presence and how you haveaffected a sinful man like me.” He got on his knee and pulled a whole bouquetof red roses out of his jacket to hold in front of you. “That is why I want toask you to be mine. I want…no, I NEED to be with you to finally be free fromthese terrible thoughts that plague my mind. You are the only one that hasn’tthought of me as anything less than scum. So please let me be in your life.”
· “Oh Kara… Of course. You know I could never sayno to you.” You take the bouquet out his hand and softly take his hand to lifthim. You cup his cheek and rub his cheek with your thumb. “You are tooprecious, and I love you way too much to think you’re trash.” He places hishand on top of yours and smiles softly. “Thank you my sweet.”
· (Yeah I’m a huge kara fan so sorry if this waslonger than the rest or he’s not your favorite. I’ll try harder next time tosatisfy your thirst.)
Choromatsu
· You got a call from Choro saying that there wasa Nyaa-chan concert nearby and he wanted you to come with him.
· Being the huge dork that you are, you agreed anddecided to meet him there. You loved Nyaa-chan but not as much as him. You feltspecial knowing that he would call you to hang out with him, but that could bebecause he has nobody else to hang with him.
· You didn’t let that last part bother you and gotready to go see him. Once you got there, you looked for him, only to see himstanding in line. You decided to scare him and jumped onto his back to hug him.
· You laughed at his girly scream and he justscolded you with blushing cheeks saying to NEVER disrespect him like thatagain.
· He grabbed your hand and pulled you out the lineto follow him somewhere further down the sidewalk.
· “Eh? Choro? Where are we going the concert isright here?!” you exclaim, blushing a little when he grabbed your hand. (What abold move for the frog boi)
· “I know, but that’s not why I called you here.Trust me I know a place better than here.” He says, dragging you closer to thecafé up ahead.
· He let go to lead you inside and sit at a tablewhile he got your drinks. When he came back, he gave you a cup of latte with,wait for it, a milk foam heart that said, ‘I love you, (Y/n)-chan’.
· You looked up at him to see that he was blushingand avoiding eye contact. “Choro? Is this true? D-Do you l-love me?” you stuttered.
· “Y-Yes. I…I love you (Y/n)-chan. I maybe a NEETthat spends all his life and money on Nyaa-chan concerts but for you, I wouldrather spend all my time, money and effort on you. Your kindness and patiencehas changed me into a better person.” He said straightforward. (OwO frog boi urchanging so much!)
· He placed his hand on top of yours and lookedstraight into yours, his eyes filled with determination. The heat in yourcheeks increased when he asked, “W-Will you… will you be my girlfriend(Y/n)-chan?”
· After you got done internally screaming youaccepted Choro’s offer with a bright smile on your face and just for the heckof it, you kissed frog boi’s cheek just to see his cute blushy face. Youcouldn’t be any happier.
Ichimatsu
· You were on your way home from the grocery storewhen you heard a faint meow in an alley. Of course, being the animal lover thatyou are, you went to check it out. You saw Ichi in the alley filled with catsand sighed a breath of relief, recognizing the man and not anyone else hurtingthose fluffy creatures.
· He turned and in his arms was a cute orange catwith purple glasses (?) looking a little bruised up and shaking.
· “Oh no! Ichi what’s wrong with your cat? Helooks awful!” you said walking closer to him.
· “H-He ran away from home. I’ve been lookingeverywhere for him. He probably ran into some bad people and got hurt.” He saidin his usual dark, monotone voice, but you sense a hint of sadness in it.
· “That’s terrible! Come with me so I can patchhim a little.” you say, grabbing his hand. He blushed slightly but continuedfollowing you none the less.
· Once you guys arrived at your house, Ichi placedhis cat on the table while you went to get a first aid kit from the bathroom.You examined the cat and saw that he had small cuts and bruises all over itsbody. You put peroxide and ointment on the cuts and wrapped the bandages on itsbody. Ichi was standing next to you, just staring as you save his hurt kitten.
· “There we go! All done!” you say and lay the caton the couch as you walk into the kitchen. “Ichi can you help me out please?I’m going to need you to get some food for your little friend while I fix aplate of food for us as well.” You say softly. You know how sensitive he isright now since his friend got hurt and he wasn’t there to protect him.
· You were about to leave him, but he grabbed yourwrist and pulled you back making your head collide onto his chest. He began towrap his arms softly around your form, making sure you can breathe while hehugs you.
· “I-Ichi? Wha-” “(Y/n)-chan… thank you. I don’tknow what I’d do without you.” “O-Of course Ichi. I’m always here for you.”“You shouldn’t. Not for trash like me. I love you (Y/n)-chan but trash like medoesn’t deserve a girl like you. You always think so brightly like nothing badcan ever happen, but… I could never have that mindset.” You hug him back to lethim know that you’re listening. “It pains me to know that I could never have aperson like you in my life, I would just be a burden to you, but I don’t wantyou with anyone else. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine, but thatwould be selfish right?”
· You lightly push him away to look at himproperly to see little tears form in his eyes. “Ichi stop.” You cup his cheekswith your hands and make him look at you while you talk. “Ichi, you are not aburden and you are not trash. You are the best person I’ve ever met. You’re sokind to animals and even if you say you don’t care about people, you still tryto help them. It’s okay to have that pessimistic side of you, it makes peoplerealize that not everything is puppies and rainbows. I love you for you and Idon’t want you to change.” You say and stand on your tip toes to give him akiss on his forehead. “I love you Ichi and I would love to be your girlfriendif it makes you happy.”
Jyushimatsu
· You wanted to hangout with the ball of sunshinetoday and take him to the ice cream parlor in the city of Harajuku.
· Of course, he agreed with lots of hugs andpraises.
· Once you ordered, you both took a seat at thetable and talked about your day. He would tell you about the home runs he gotfrom practice, and you would tell him about how fulfilling your job as ateacher would be since you would always have the sweetest kids.
· When your orders arrived, the waitress gave youonly a bowl of your guys’ ice cream and two spoons.
· “I’m sorry but we are running low on dishes, sowe had to give you only a bowl to share. We are sorry for the inconvenience.”The waitress said.
· “That’s okay. We don’t mind, right Jyushi?” youask.
· He just nods his head enthusiastically and takesa spoon out to grab a bite. He hums at the delicious flavor and grabs another.The waitress thanks you and leaves you guys be.
· When you direct your attention back to Jyushi,there’s a spoonful of ice cream in front of your face. “(Y/n)-chan! Try this!It tastes really good!” he says.
· You close your eyes to take a bite trying tohide the blush on your face from him feeding you. “I-It’s really good Jysuhi.”
· “Ahhh! You’re so cute when you blush (Y/n)-chan!I wish you were my girlfriend so I could see that blush all day!” He whined.Meanwhile, you had to stop yourself from choking on your ice cream at what hesaid.
· “Jyushi? Please tell me your joking.” You sayafter fixing yourself.
· “Ha? Why would I joke about that? You’re toocute and I want to have you before anyone else can take you.” He says beforebiting on his ice cream. “I love you way too much and you make me so happy!You’re the perfect girlfriend!”
· “I swear… Jysuhi, you are one of a kind.” Yousay smiling softly at him. “I would love to be your girlfriend. I don’t knowwhat I’d do without your sweet smile.”
Todomatsu
· It was late at night when Totty decided to textyou about his day. It was funny re-reading his texts about how his brothersembarrassed him at his job. You could not get how his family radiated chaoticenergy. It’s a miracle how he hasn’t lost his sanity yet.
· Anyways how about u cutie? How was your day?;)
· It was fine Totty. Thank you. Your brothersdecided to see you again?
· Let’s not talk about them ^^; I swear I get aheart attack whenever someone mentions their existence.
· You giggled at this. Awww but it’s funny.
· Not as funny as you tripping and dropping thecake on the floor. LOL
· Totty! We do NOT talk about that! >:
· Sorry but payback is a female dog. Anyways, Ineed to ask you something. Something serious.
· You raised an eyebrow at this and decided tokeep texting. Okay, spill the tea.
· Okay there’s this girl I like, and I don’tknow how to tell her I like her. Any advice?
· You giggled excitedly. You were waiting for amoment like this. You were a bit of a romantic and writing a bunch offanfictions was your favorite pastime.
· Okay tell me what she likes, what she lookslike, her favorite things to do, etc. etc.
· Well she’s a bit of a dork, a cute dork, andshe loves to read. She can’t read without her favorite snacks near her and shelikes to be alone sometimes. She has (long/short) (hair color) that frames herface perfectly. She has fabulous fashion sense and a cute voice that makes myheart flutter. Oh! And she LOVES K-pop. I get jealous every time she mentionstheir names and she always have this lovey-dovey look on her face every timesomeone mentions them. - _-
· Did he… Did he just describe you in perfectdetail? Totty…
· Yes?
· Is this girl you’re talking about me? Inanyway?
· Finally! How many tries does it take for youto notice?
· Eh? But I don’t remember you doing anythingspecial for me.
· What? I gave you a latte with a milk foamheart, I gave you a bunch of roses and compliments, I literally flirted withyou for the past few days, and to put the cherry on top of all this, I evengave you a slice of cake that said ‘I love you (Y/n)-chan’ on top. Are youreally THAT oblivious?!
· Ah. I’m sorry Totty, I guess I’m just stuckin my own little world. Does that change anything about me?
· Hmph. I won’t forgive you unless you sayyou’re my girlfriend.
· You are such a sassy brat, but that’s what Ilove about you. So yeah, I’m your girlfriend Totty and I’m glad you’re myboyfriend.
· O///O Y-yeah… m-me too ^^
#osomatsu scenarios#Osomatsu-san#osomatsusan#karamatsu matsuno#choromatsu#ichimatsu#jyushimatsu#todomatsu#osomatsu matsuno#osomatsusan headcanons
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If I Can't Have You
Pairing: Past!Rodorah
Content: Angst and Violence.
Warning: Harm. Swearing. Implied death.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rodan shook his head again with the same firmness as before. He backed into his scolding hot cauldron as his eyes never left the being before him. Those eyes looked back him, firey and angry. But at this point, those eyes didn't scare him -though he knew the dangerous stories that hid behind them -and he boldly roared at them with no hesitation.
Leave then! Rodan screeches out. There was no longer any hurt. The sadness that was first planted had long died now. The argument was useless now. Neither side agreeing with the other. Fucking go!
No! Ichi, the center and leader, bites back with a fierce tongue. He didn't like rejection. Not one bit. And this bastard was pushing it. Come with us!
I already told you I can't! Rodan responses with and equally heated tongue.
It's not that you can't! It's that you won't! Kevin, whom Rodan once perceived as the more understanding one, had shouted. His fangs were flashing as a snarl curled on his face.
How had Rodan ever loved them?
They step close, and Rodan tips his beak in the hot magma, slurping some of it before spitting it at the alien. Ghidorah hissed, discomfort coming from the heat.
I said leave!! Rodan screamed out. Go on you fuckers!! Go!!
You will NOT address us like that you scum! Ni, the one Rodan had barely known, ordered out in disgust. Rodan rolled his eyes.
If I'm such scum then why you keep pressing the issue! Leave! Go fly off!! I don't need you! I don't want you! Go!! Rodan hissed, repeating his previous act and spitting out the lava. Again, Ghidorah growled at his assault.
You cocky bitch! Kevin yelled at him. How dare you!?
I don't have to follow your rules anyone dipshit! Godzilla kicked YOUR ass, remember? The humans held YOU captive TWICE. I HAD TO RESCUE YOUR DUMBASS AND LET YOU HEAL!! YOU GET IT BITCH!? YOU'RE NOTHING!! LEAVE THIS PLANET!! YOU ONE'S SCARED OF YOU ANYMORE!! GO!LEAVE! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE!! Rodan shouted with pure anger. The world viewed him as a coward because of this creature. Godzilla sees him only as a bitch, a possible breeder for later on. His respect is no more and it's this dumbass fault. Why did he love him? What drew him to this beast?
Rodan was sent tumbling down the volcano as waves of electricity attacked his body. It was then when he noticed the human machines. They were frantic now, flying crazy and fast. But he'd ignore them as Ghidorah pounced on his body, stomping his form into the ground.
SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Ghidorah, now speaking as one, boom before blasting Rodan again with those deadly rays. YOU ARE MINE!! YOU HAVE YOU DAMN RIGHT TO SA-
Rodan shifts and slices a part of Ghidorah, making the planet destory momentarily loose focus. Rodan wiggled from under him before swooping up high into the cloud.
There was no brawl to be raged. He learned long ago when to choose his battles and this was one that required escape.
His wings violently swooped in the air, climbing for seemingly no reason. Where was he going? He couldn't suffocate the damn thing.
Behind him, the powerful rumble of the storm chased, and he tried to fly harder.
He was grazed by one if the beams and almost lost control, but eased himself. There was no real escape. He knew that, but it wouldn't stop him.
The edge of the storm crept near his feet, teasingly grabbing at his legs. He knew if he was sucked in there was no guarantee he'd ever come out.
His mind was panicked and frantic. He was prey. He was a target of an almost unstoppable force.
Another beam was shot and this time it hit him. It busted his nerves and his wings stiffened. Suddenly, he was falling. Falling further and further and as he looked up he felt his heart beat even faster.
The cloud was over him now, the rain beating on his face as those three sets of angry eyes stared him down. Powerful jaws were open, diving faster and faster in his direction. Beneath him, he felt the moisture of the sea. Perhaps, he thoughts as he tried to flex his wing. The water surface was getting closer, as was Ghidorah.
5....
4...
He positioned himself, eyes never leading the alien.
3...
2...
He gets his wings ready, knowing this was going to hurt a bit.
1....
Just before he hit the water, he turned his body quickly, slamming his wings down and bulleting himself upwards. He fills something pop, but decides to deal with it later.
Behind him, Ghidorah collides with the ocean with a loud sploosh.
Rodan breathes with relief, but it's only for a second.
Ghidorah launches out of the water, another level of anger added to his meter of rage. A monstrous roar, one that made Rodan shiver, eached through the air.
Godzilla please. Mothra. Anyone please help me. Rodan prayed to himself. He's....he's never felt scared before. Sure death has lingered on his mind before but this time it was right in his face. No amount of bowing or apologizing was going to fix this.
Ghidorah was going to kill him.
He flew up high again. He hovered there, panting. Around him clouds towered. And each direction held the haunting rumble of his attacker.
LEAVE ME ALONE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! I'M SORRY JUST HAVE MERCY!! Rodan had never cried so loud. He never sounded so weak.
His body jolted when it was forced down into the water at lightening speed. Sharp claws pierced his tough skin and even in the salt liquid he felt it drip. His mouth was full of water and he swallowed some on accident. He felt his body struggle with no results.
He gasped for air before being pushed back in the drink. His lungs were filling up with it now. Blood. Water. Anything really.
YOU UNGRATEFUL SHIT!! Ghidorah shouts, the voices no longer holding their own individual flavor. It was...HE was one now. The shared hatred now directed at the one who "betrayed" them. HOW DARE YOU BEG FOR MERCY NOW?!
He struggled, giving a scream when the claws aggressively removed themselves. He tried then to maybe swim. It was useless but he was desperate.
Kevin grabbed him, sinking his teeth so deep in the fire bird's leg that surely it had become unusable. Rodan roared in pain. The two other heads attached themselves as well.
They lifted his body from the water. Lifting him higher and higher and higher. He couldn't breath. But he didn't try to. There was no use anymore.
When they let him go, for a moment he felt time stop. Like he was frozen up there. He never noticed how beautiful the sun looked from this height. But he fell. And when he landed hard against his own volcano he felt something snap.
He coughed up blood. His vision was foggy. Legs? Useless. Wings? Out of the question. He laid there, belly exposed. The mountain side had small streams of his blood running down it.
This was how he died, huh?
When Ghidorah landed in front of him, he couldn't help but give a broken chuckle.
Because of you, he coughed. Because of you I woke up. Because of you my former companions abandoned me. Because of you no one's coming to help-
Rodan choked on his words as Ghidorah started to step on his throat.
It's your fault I'm doing this. And it was the only time during all this that Rodan got a glimpse at emotions other than anger in those eyes.
Guilt.
Ghidorah steps down harder as Rodan begins to gag. He's coughing up blood and his eyed are leaking tears. There's no more fight in him. He might as well stop struggling.
Then a blue light comes and Ghidorah is knocked off. He hears the powerful roar and gives a small smile. Rodan catches Godzilla look at him, and he still smiles regardless.
He was dying anyway. Why not let the last image him be with a grin?
#godzilla#rodan#godzilla king of the monsters#godzilla kotm#king ghidorah#rodorah#rodan x king ghidorah#ghidorah#king ghidorah x rodan#i just wanted to make yall upset today
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So you can, nice.
I been wandering if you could write something about a painful love triangle between iromatsu and a new neighbor they have met and become Friends with.
She is like the epic older sister type, but with some depression and emptiness. Best if her name was Irusu. She likes to pet the sextuplets.
ichimatsu happen to fall for her thinking she is similar to him and karamatsu falling for her strong personality thinking it was beautiful.
however when karamatsu realized that ichi love her too and saw how close they are. he had a emotional battle with himself not knowing if he should choose his happiness or his brother's, in the end he chose what he thought is the best for them all and immediately give up on her and start avoiding her not knowing that the girl actually have a crush on him (lot of details, ik)
eventually the girl got hurt from Karamatsu action and blamed her foolish messed up self.
Ichimatsu who know the girl's feelings get into a fight with karamatsu and they got injured both physically and emotionally.
I don't know about the ending tho, you can write whatever you want I'm only here to give pain to my heart.
It's a bit long so take your time and don't overdo it pls, love ya💙
ahahaha sorry, was the request "yo girl how much emotional Iromatsu shit can you fit into less than 3000 words?"
... the answer is literally all of it
this was fun, Iromatsu fighting hurts my heart but also I love it, that angst is delicious :D
I made the ending vague in order both to let people imagine their own ending AND to set up for a possible sequel if anybody wants one!
love ya too, I hope this is good for you *fingerguns*
-
For the first time in a long time, Akatsuka Ward has a new resident.
For the first time in an even longer time, she’s been hanging around the Matsuno sextuplets as if they’re her only friends.
As far as anyone else knows, that might be the truth. No one ever sees her with anyone else aside from the times she happens to work, and the brothers all seem incredibly fond of her, so there’s really no reason to find anyone else when she has six new friends.
Irusu is maybe a strange kind of young lady, but no stranger than the rest of Akatsuka’s inhabitants, to be fair. Around the sextuplets, she doesn’t really rest in making sure they’re all taken care of and happy.
She accompanies Osomatsu to the pachinko parlor, often putting her own money into the machines so he can play. She sits next to Karamatsu on the roof, listening to him play guitar and singing along. She collects magazine articles about idols and proudly sets them into Choromatsu’s hands when she comes over. She brings over food for Ichimatsu’s cats, giving little kissy noises as she feeds them. She always offers to play baseball with Jyushimatsu, even though it always leads to exhaustion later. She displays an incredible willingness to star in selfies with Totty and makes him laugh with silly poses.
And if she’s not doing any of those things, she’s got one of their heads in her lap, stroking through their hair. More than one fight has broken out over who gets to be petted the most on any given day.
All in all, they love having her around. It’s been so long since any of them had a real friend outside the family who treated them so kindly.
Is it really any wonder at least one of them ended up falling head over heels for her?
… Actually, is it really any wonder two of them did?
Neither of them is sure who fell first, though they’re not sure it really matters since they can’t really call ‘dibs’ on a person. All they know is that Ichimatsu is drawn to the similarities between himself and Irusu, sensing a kind of heavy-weighing sadness and darkness inside her that’s not unlike his own… and that Karamatsu is pulled in by her strength and kindness, in awe of someone who can be so brave even when she’s suffering herself.
For the month or so after Karamatsu became aware of his little brother’s feelings, he’s been wrestling with his own heart. What kind of horrible older brother would he be if he stole the affections of someone Ichimatsu’s heart is also pining after? Can he even set aside his own selfish emotions when he’s never quite felt like this for someone before?
The whole thing is just awful. Often as brothers they would playfully fight over Totoko, and yet this is… different. This isn’t Totoko. It’s Irusu. It’s someone that one of them might actually have a shot with.
What is he supposed to do? For once in his life, he wants to step up and have a chance, to not immediately give in to his generosity and wanting his little brother to be happy. He wants to be happy. It’s a shame that he does want Ichimatsu to be happy, too. At the very least, he doesn’t want his happiness to have a hand in Ichimatsu’s pain.
He thinks too long and too hard. Every cheesy romantic line that he aims at Irusu and every time she smiles at him ― it’s getting more difficult to take. Every time she caresses his head. Every hug they share.
Every time he notices Ichimatsu tense up whenever Karamatsu flirts with Irusu. Every time Ichimatsu clenches his fists when she’s charmed by something Karamatsu does or says. Every time he looks angry and insecure when she calls him ‘Irusu boy’ and proclaims herself ‘Karamatsu girl’, even if it’s probably just a joke.
Those are the things he thinks he notices more than any of Irusu’s reactions.
He wants so much to be selfish, to not care how his brother feels. The unfortunate truth is that he does. More than anything, he loves all of his brothers, Ichimatsu included. If something he does is going to hurt one of them, then he doesn’t want to do it.
So last night, he did something that he didn’t truly want to do. As Irusu was leaving, he kissed her hand and told her, in a rather solemn tone devoid of his usual theatrics, “Ichimatsu would probably like it if you asked him out.”
With that, he felt like things were in place. He would keep his distance from her, Ichimatsu would get a chance to be happy with her, and… Karamatsu was sure he would find someone else eventually. The biggest problem was that in order for it not to be so painful for him, he would have to try to avoid Irusu as much as possible.
No more hugs. No more being petted. No more pretty smiles in his direction.
It’s only been a few days of it by this point. However, it’s not easy. Even though he thinks this is the best thing, that he’ll stop craving her attention at some point, right now he still wants it. Losing the closeness they’ve all become used to is one of the worst things he can think of, and it’s happening, and he’s so sure it’s the right thing…
It just sucks that the right thing can hurt so badly.
At least his little brother will have a shot at happiness.
-
Ichimatsu, on the other hand, is pissed.
He’s sure he must have been this angry at some other point in his life, although he can’t really remember this kind of fury burning him up from the inside. It’s probably been a while since he felt anything other than a boiling of annoyance.
He has a hard time with Karamatsu, that much is for sure, but he knows Karamatsu well enough. The man is a goody-goody, or at least he pretends to be, so he’d never do something like, say, step on Ichimatsu’s toes over a girl they both like. That much is certain.
Except the issue with backing off is that in the process, he’s managed to lodge a big, painful arrow in Irusu’s feelings. That is something Ichimatsu can’t just ignore or let slide.
Why would he do this, anyway? If he was going to let Ichimatsu have a chance with her, fine… how come he had to just start brushing her off, though? What, does he think he can’t even be friends with her in order to let Ichimatsu shoot his shot? The hell is wrong with that dumbass?
This is where his dangerous nature comes in handy, at the very least. He can’t act too scary around Irusu or he risks her being afraid of him. Karamatsu is another story.
Which is good, because he thinks his big, stupid brother needs a scare to make him realize what the hell he’s doing.
Not only is he taking away Ichimatsu’s chance of winning Irusu’s affection fairly, instead of being the ‘runner-up’ like he’s been his whole life, Karamatsu is also hurting her. She’s talked about this to Ichimatsu, and she thinks that this is somehow her fault.
She thinks she’s too messed up and Karamatsu has just lost interest in her, that she did something which turned him off. The way she buried her face in Ichimatsu’s shoulder, mumbling tearfully that she should have known Karamatsu couldn’t possibly like her the way she liked him, is a memory he thinks is going to be burned in his mind forever.
He’s mad at Karamatsu more than he’s ever been in his life. He thinks he’s doing a nice thing stepping aside and trying to give Ichimatsu a chance, but if it hurts Irusu, he doesn’t want that chance. It matters what she wants more than anything, so if she likes and wants Karamatsu, if it’s putting her in pain to have him treat her dismissively, then Ichimatsu isn’t going to just stand by. He’s gonna do something about it.
Of course, perhaps he could have been a little more composed about it than to simply walk up to Karamatsu and punch him in the face. That said, nobody ever accused Ichimatsu of being subtle.
The hit was hard enough to leave his hand aching, so as soon as it connects, he pulls his fist back and rubs at his knuckles. It hurts, yeah. There’s more important stuff than that right now, though. He stares down at his brother, who’s on the floor trying to recover, and for a long moment, doesn’t do anything except glare.
Karamatsu, meanwhile, is pinching his nose shut in an attempt to stop the bleeding from being punched in the Goddamn face without any warning. To say he wasn’t expecting the blow would be an understatement. Even when he gingerly draws his hand away with a wince, everything still throbs. “Ichimatsu, what the hell was that for?!”
“You’re an ass,” Ichimatsu hisses, taking a step closer. “You think I need your fucking pity, huh? You think the only way Irusu would choose to go out with me is because you gracefully bowed out? You’re full of shit!”
Karamatsu is on his feet in a few seconds, only to just barely catch another fist thrown at him. His arm shakes with the muscle strain of holding back his little brother’s ire. “What are you… are you angry at me for taking myself out of the running?! Any other time, you’d be eliminating the competition yourself!”
Ichimatsu throws a punch with his other hand, though it’s caught just the same. There’s too much rage and adrenaline flooding through him, and Karamatsu can’t hold him back forever. “You think you’re doing me some kind of favor?! That’s just so like you! You’ve gotta be the hero right? You stupid, chūnibyō loser! You’re the saintly big brother and I’m the pathetic jackass and you’ve just gotta help me!”
“Wha… h-hey! That’s not what I think or what I’m trying to do!” It’s starting to become difficult to keep a grip on Ichimatsu’s hands, so in a desperate bid for some space, he shoves Ichimatsu back… maybe with a little more force than he may have used otherwise. “I care about you, Ichimatsu! You deserve to have a chance, and I know she likes you, and I just thought… if I allowed her to focus on you, I wouldn’t distract her!”
Ichimatsu ends up flat on his ass, although he’s back up in only a second. “You didn’t distract her, you motherfucker! You hurt her feelings! Who cares if she likes me?! She likes you! But as usual, you had to go and fuck everything up for everybody because you were trying to ‘help’!”
This time when he lunges forward, Karamatsu is ready and they end up grappling like two bucks locking antlers. Nobody really has the upper hand unless one counts that Ichimatsu is putting a little more physical force into it; the emotional toll it’s taking on Karamatsu is obvious, though.
“She never told me anything about that!” His arms quiver as he tries to plant his feet so that Ichimatsu can’t just brute force his way through this fight.
“Should she have had to?! You said she likes me, but she’s never said that, so you could obviously read her to know she likes me! You couldn’t tell she likes you, too?! And so what?!” Ichimatsu rocks forward in an attempt to knock Karamatsu off balance. “Even if she didn’t like you that way, you think blowing her off like you’ve been doing wouldn’t hurt a friend?!”
He winds back and goes in for another punch. “You’re not a good person! You know what you are? You know what I see when I look at you, what everyone else sees when they look at you? A stupid, painful, selfish, sorry excuse for a big brother!”
Something about those words makes Karamatsu freeze. The hit lands full-force, kickstarting the bloody nose that had just stopped a moment ago. Sparks dance around his insides, prompting him to gain back awareness enough to reciprocate the blow.
Before either of them know it, they’re rolling around on the floor, kicking and hitting each other and shouting the worst things they can think of.
“Excruciating bastard!”
“Antisocial asshole!”
“Self-centered, holier-than-thou shitbag!”
“Emotionally constipated, ungrateful bitch!”
“You don’t deserve to be anyone’s older brother! You don’t deserve to be anyone’s brother, period! You deserve to be alone, because nobody should ever have to deal with you and your fucking tryhard bullshit!”
“Oh, and you’re so easy to deal with?! All any of us do is give and give and you don’t give us anything in return! Being an apathetic misanthrope doesn’t make you interesting or special, it just makes you an edgelord!”
“Edgelord, huh? Must run in the family, because you’re even edgier than I am!”
“Maybe, but at least I don’t shut everyone out and act like my brothers don’t love me!”
“Oh, you’re psychoanalyzing me now?! Fuck off! Actually, just die!”
“Is that what you say to everything?! You die first and I might consider it!”
“Great! I’m glad to die! I’ve got a noose and a beam all picked out! As long as I get to choose how you die, I’m ready when you are, asshole!”
“Please! As if I’m going to let you do something like that! What the hell is wrong with you, Ichimatsu?!”
It seems to be the turn in that direction that causes the two of them to start to lose steam. The decline is quick as all the anger between both men crystallizes into fatigue and anguish.
Karamatsu rolls over from where he ended up above Ichimatsu, and Ichimatsu lets his whole body go limp. They lie there for what feels like forever, breathing heavily, covered in new bruises and scratches and flecks of blood, too tired to fire any more shots at one another.
They lie side by side, and when Karamatsu looks over, he sees through his own blurry vision that there are tears in the corners of Ichimatsu’s eyes.
His heart leaps into his throat.
He doesn’t know how else this could have turned out, but it’s undeniable that things have gone way too far, as they always do with any of the sextuplets.
“Ichimatsu…” He reaches for his little brother, only for Ichimatsu to pull violently away and curl into a ball. It hurts, mainly because he knows that’s what Ichimatsu does when he wants the entire world to leave him be. This time, it’s Karamatsu’s fault.
“Fuck off, Shittymatsu,” Ichimatsu mumbles. It’s through experience that Karamatsu can tell he’s starting to cry; that break in his voice might not be evident to anyone except his brothers. “Whatever you’re going to say, I don’t wanna hear it. I don’t care.”
Karamatsu huffs. “Well, you should care. We can’t do this shit, Ichimatsu. What’s wrong with us? It’s not normal for brothers to fight like this. We just beat each other up. Over a woman. … A stunning woman, but―”
“You’re a fucking idiot,” Ichimatsu interrupts. “Are there rocks in your Goddamn head? Do you really think this is just about Irusu? Don’t pretend this wouldn’t have happened at some point even if she never came into our lives. We’re fucking losers who don’t know how to get along and she’s just the latest thing we’re fighting about. We’re both shitheads. Neither of us deserves her.”
Well, at least they can agree on that.
Despite the fact that Ichimatsu doesn’t turn to look at him, not even a little, Karamatsu keeps a hand on his little brother’s back. That Ichimatsu doesn’t push him away or scream for Karamatsu to get off is a good sign.
Although, there aren’t enough good signs to just magically fix this. There’s still so much wrong with the entire situation and nothing is going to tie it up with a neat bow.
They lie next to each other in silence for a long time. Gradually, the tension starts to drain out of Ichimatsu’s body, the more seconds tick by without Karamatsu moving away. His muscles continue to relax until he’s bled out of fury, until he realizes that he doesn’t wantto be mad at his big brother.
The anger isn’t just going to vanish from either of them. It’s not going to disappear because they don’t want to be angry at each other. Their exhaustion bringing true feelings out of the shadows, however, is better than making believe they would prefer staying angry.
“I’m sorry,” Karamatsu finally says. His voice is smaller than usual and breathy and sounds cracked in half by the time he speaks up.
At last, Ichimatsu rolls over onto his back with a grunt. “… I’m sorry, too.”
Karamatsu sighs and shifts his hand away to give his younger brother space. “We really are a couple of pathetic creatures, aren’t we?”
“Yep, we’re shitty.”
“The shittiest.”
They both fall silent for another moment or two. This time, it’s Ichimatsu who breaks the quiet. “What… do we do now?”
There are too many thoughts swirling around Karamatsu’s head. And he would assume in Ichimatsu’s head as well. Everything is tumulting around in an unorganized mess, too much to put together any kind of real plan.
What do they do about what,anyway? About Irusu and who gets to have a chance with her? About their own broken relationship?
Neither of them really knows what to do about anything.
“I think,” Karamatsu hums, “we should patch up our wounds before anything else.”
So Ichimatsu nods.
It’s not going to solve any of their real problems, but it’s as good a place to start as any.
#Osomatsu san#whump#Iromatsu#Karamatsu#Ichimatsu#OC#emotional whump#violence#love triangle#angst#MMMMMMMMMMM Y'ALL TASTE THAT??#FRESH ANGST RIGHT OFF THE ANGST VINE#THESE TWO HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH EACH OTHER#MAYBE THEY NEEDED TO SCREAM AND BEAT EACH OTHER UP#at least it's over! ... for now anyway XD
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Sara: A Grieving Mother is a Huge Piece in the Fuugen Puzzle
I was recently asked by an anonymous messenger about the relationship between Mugen and Sara. Not knowing if Mugen had feelings for Sara or not, it made them question Fuugen. Time to clear up some doubts.
Links to specific scenes are underlined.
Mugen and Sara have a very interesting character dynamic. But do I consider it romantic? Not at all. (Someone is bound to disagree with me). But whether you decide to believe in Fuugen or not, it is very clear that each scene with Sara, we get scenes between Fuu and Mugen. Sara’s episodes have them spend so much time alone together.
Firstly, Mugen flirts with every woman he finds attractive. Which would total to being around 6 in the series total (not counting manga, cause boy, there’s more). Hotaru, Budoukiba, the two girls he stole food from, Yatsuha and also Sara. So, it is not as if Sara is the only woman he finds attractive or has flirted with. In fact, Fuu would be the unique character in that, he comments on her appearance and then puts it down. Anyone who argues “She’s like a sister figure to him”, will then be thrown off by the fact Mugen asked to see her boobs...comments on her no sex appeal multiple times, remarks that she was probably raped and dumped etc etc. Not things you should ever say to someone you’d consider your sister figure.
Fuu changed Mugen. Fuu makes Mugen care. Mugen made sacrifices for Fuu. Mugen never hurt Fuu, and always came back to save her/help her find her father despite his repeated “attempts” to leave.
I do not see Sara representing a romantic figure to Mugen at all. As YouTuber Final Rantasy pointed out in the video Fuu’s empathy: how a friendship changed killers into warriors, he explains how Fuu’s empathy rekindled Sara’s humanity and allowed her to see a mirror of her lost son in Mugen, thus causing her to spare Mugen’s life, not once, but twice. Link to this part of the video is here.
Sara represents a maternal figure for Mugen. Now, let’s get into it.
Unlike Fuu, Sara is not a character who changed Mugen for the better, or made him see differently on anything. She is not a catalyst for Mugen’s character growth, besides for his first time feeling pity over killing someone. BUT, that doesn’t mean she is not important. She is SUPER important for us viewers.
Sara reveals what kind of person Mugen was already. Before Fuu and Jin.
Because of their dialogue, and also the storyline of episodes 13 and 14, we find out that Mugen is not just this cocky, arrogant, womanizing asshole. He knows of sorrow and suffering due to his upbringing, the betrayals, and stigma attached to his criminal past. Not only that, but we see he believes that no one has ever loved him. Mugen may actually be lonely.
The first convo we see this, is where Mugen sneaks into the hot spring with Sara.
“I have walked in darkness for a long time. But people can grow accustomed to anything. Even if you can’t see, you become able to sense other things. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”
“That’s a load of bullshit. Nobody who’s happy could sing that song of yours.”
This reveals that Mugen must feel something from her music; something sorrowful. And to feel sorrow, one must understand it.
After a brief, comical moment of Fuu and Mugen seeing each other naked...and Mugen also saying he didn’t make a move on Sara…(BY STANDING UP TO SHOW FUU HIS PENIS WAS NOT ERECT. LMAO THIS KILLS ME), Mugen then leaves and Fuu talks with Sara.
Sara asks Fuu what Mugen looks like. She has an image of him in her head. Fuu’s response is pretty hilarious. She goes on a whole tangent about how unattractive he is, and how she shouldn’t go with a guy like that.
Sara’s response is ambiguous.
“What?” she says, with an almost eerie seriousness. This “what” is so. Damn. Important.
This can mean two things:
1. She is confused why Fuu goes on a tangent. Like saying “Huh?” Fuu misinterpreted Sara’s reason for wondering what Mugen looked like, as her being interested in Mugen romantically. This clearly isn’t the case. Why would she want to know what Mugen looks like, if her end game is to kill them all? Because she never got to SEE her own son grow up.
2. OR, she is asking why Fuu has the need to go on a tangent. It is clear that Fuu is embarrassed after spouting all these bad things about Mugen almost defensively. If this was the reason why, this connects into three later scenes that she shares with Fuu. The first is when the two are going to sleep. She tells Fuu “One thing I cannot read are people’s feelings.” Then she asks “Which is the one you don’t want to leave?” Fuu gets embarrassed and hides under the blankets (We see Fuu picks Mugen to stay later). The second scene is when she asks Fuu if she really wants to continue the journey to the end. The third...is when Sara goes to kill Mugen...and stops because Fuu begs for his life. She realizes in these three scenes...why Fuu goes on that tangent…
Fuu does not answer Sara’s “what” and just mumbles, and hides her mouth in the water, blowing bubbles. Fuu later stomps to Mugen’s room, opens the doors, and with a blush on her face, apologizes to Mugen. This confuses him.
Fuu apologized for two potential reasons.
1. She is sorry for calling Mugen ugly. Because he is not.
2. She is sorry for assuming Mugen made a move on Sara, when he did not.
Hmm….
As for Fuu and Sara’s conversations, there is a moment where Fuu asks Sara if she has a son or a daughter. Sara had a son. Had she had a daughter, she would most likely have more connection to Fuu, especially since Fuu was separated from her father and also was raised by her mother until she passed away. Instead, they chose to write Sara being separated from her son, to have more a connection to Mugen.
Now then, more on Mugen and Sara’s convos:
“I wonder if my son would like this.”
“Beats me. As far back as I can remember, I never had any parents. I wouldn’t know.”
Mugen and Sara have deep conversations, yes. But they are never happy or lighthearted ones. Every meaningful conversation the two ever have is pertaining to the same concepts: sadness, his parents, and her child. Or all in one.
“You and I may be a lot alike. I never knew the meaning of the word happiness. The closest I came was when my son was born.” This reveals something about Sara, along with her other line: “It’s as if you have never once been loved. It’s as if you are like me.”
Sara was not loved by the father of her child. Sara had never known happiness, even when she met the father of her child. Sara is implied to have been raped.
In fact, I am positive that this is the case.
According to the Roman Album of Samurai Champloo, the episodes about Sara the goze are inspired by Zatoichi, the infamous blind swordsman of Japanese filmography. Well, after Samurai Champloo, a movie was made in 2008 called Ichi, telling the story of a blind woman taken in and raised BY Zatoichi. Guess what. She was a goze musician. Also, guess what. She was a trained assassin.
Icing on the cake? Ichi was raped, and was kicked out of her goze household as a result. Goze must never marry and remain celibate if they continue performing for charity. The reason behind this, if they have lovers or husbands, they must be getting financial support and no longer needed charity. Of course, women throughout history were obviously raped but that was no excuse.
Remember when Fuu asked where the father was? Sara’s only response was “The father is no longer around.” And she smiles.
In Ichi, her rapist tries to attack her again, and she ends up killing him with a hidden blade HIDDEN IN HER CANE. YES. CANE.
Ichi had to be inspired by Sara. This then goes back to the idea, that Sara’s son was a result of rape.
Now as for a more personal fan theory about this: Mugen may also be the result of rape. Mugen was born on a penal colony in the Ryukyuan Islands, and as far back as he can remember, he had no parents. Neither a mother or a father. According to Koza, this place was a living hell. If the people on the island were Japanese criminals exiled there, aside from the native Ryukyuans...and Mugen was born there, it is a high possibility Mugen’s mother was raped by a criminal.
Rape seems to be a theme in episode 13 and 14. Mukuro killed Koza’s mother for unknown reasons. And despite the claim that he is her “brother”, Fuu points out they look nothing alike. There is also a clearly sexual scene where Mukuro rubs his thumb along Koza’s lips as she stares in fear. She also tells Fuu she “wishes her brother were dead”. Then, Mukuro sells Koza off to Shige to be raped in exchange for the help to raid the gold from the ship. He did not know that Koza actually wanted to be with Shige and betrayed him. So yes, rape must have been a part of Ryukyuan life if it was so clearly tied to Koza.
If this is the case of Mugen’s mother, then that shows yet another sign of Sara being a parallel.
But regardless of rape theory, Mugen was separated from his mother for some reason or another just as Sara was separated from her child.
Fuu picks Jin to leave with Sara so she may see her son. Watch this scene here.
“Why him and not me?!” Mugen yells.
“It’d be too dangerous being alone with a guy like you.”
Um. Fuu. Fuu honey. You will be alone with him then...
“And she’s safe with this bozo?!”
“Jin would never do something like that!”
Notice his shock at that declaration, and then how he closes his mouth, and shuts up as she speaks. Mugen seems upset that she supposedly sees him as a bad guy taking advantage of Sara, rather than Jin. He makes no further argument about leaving with Sara.
We know Fuu is lying. She doesn’t send keep Mugen due to him being a pervert. Earlier, Sara asked who she didn’t want to leave. And Fuu broke down in tears about it, and ran away. Obviously, she cares about both Jin and Mugen, but she inevitably chooses Jin to go, using Mugen’s pervertedness as an excuse. She didn't want Jin to leave either, but the moment she cries over his departure is more comical in nature.
Notice how Mugen parts ways with Jin and Sara. Parts. Ways.
See, Jin is suspicious of Sara and that’s why he left so willingly. Mugen and Fuu were not. Mugen had no idea if he’d see Jin again. The fact that he was WILLING to leave not only Sara, but JIN, to help Fuu find the sunflower samurai speaks volumes of his relationship with Fuu.
So if you think he had feelings for Sara, or if you think Sara interferes with the fuugen ship...please remember this detail. Mugen obeyed Fuu, and was willing to say goodbye to Jin and Sara to travel all the way passed Nagasaki with Fuu alone. And when Fuu cries over Jin, he gets annoyed, stomps away and continues ahead of her. So he is serious about fulfilling his duty.
When Mugen and Fuu take Sara back to the shack for recovery, something is off about Mugen. He stays a far distance from Sara, and then runs off to find Jin, despite Fuu’s worried protest. Honestly, this is a really cute moment of Mugen; how he obviously cares a lot about Jin’s safety and searches until sunset for his body (excuse is, he wants to be the one to kill him). Instead, he finds Sara’s weapons...and figures it all out.
At the first moment of him realizing Sara “killed” Jin, he had no hesitancy in going to kill her. I am sure he felt betrayed when he kicked the firewood, but I think that Mugen was far angrier that Jin was “dead”. These two are best frenemies. Mugen going to avenge Jin is also a mirror of Jin going to avenge Mugen by killing Mukuro in episode 14. Later on, even after Jin is alive, he is still willing to fight her again to protect himself, as well as Fuu and Jin.
Imo, the craziest moment in the story was when Fuu saw them fighting. Sara’s wording summed up everything.
Sara almost kills Mugen, and then says this line: “I can see without seeing. Powerful rage swirls within you. I cannot tell whether or not it is sadness. It is as if you have never once been loved… It’s as if, you are like me.”
But then Fuu jumps on top of him after he collapses, throwing her life in the way to prevent Sara from killing him. Sara actually gasps here, eyes widening. She is surprised. She was wrong. Mugen’s face in this scene also looks surprised. He too did not expect anyone to care about him that much, that they would throw their life in the way. Mugen does have someone who loves him. It can’t be more blatant than that. Sara. Just. Said. Love. And then Fuu did that.
For that reason, Sara turns away, even though her orders were very clear to kill them all. And she does end up coming back to fight Mugen again. Why she stopped here is very obvious, then. She couldn’t bring herself to kill Fuu or Mugen here, after such a huge act of sacrifice.
Reminder: Fuu never did anything like this for Jin.
When Sara takes pity on him, and leaves, Mugen is still angry despite his condition and still wants to fight her.
After this, we get to see Fuu apply a salve to Mugen’s face. Then another scene where she tries to talk him out of fighting her.
Later, when Mugen goes to kill Sara...Fuu wakes up, looking for Mugen and says his name.
Was Mugen bothered by Sara’s death? Yes. It is the only person that we see Mugen regrets killing. They were different though. Mugen loved battle. Sara saw only sorrow from it. Him being pissed off about her death, was not the fact that she died. It was the manner of how she died. Mugen had every intention to kill her, or die trying. He even seemed excited about it, just as he was excited to fight Jin.
The fact that she held back...and also...her reasoning for wanting to kill him was never for the joy of fighting. It was solely for her son, which in the end, was a futile effort.
His eyes in this scene are extremely soft when she mentions her son. Mugen empathized with her, and also pitied her. And that shows a lot about Mugen. She says that no one can escape the government no matter how far they may run. Even him, Fuu and Jin are still wanted.
Sara’s last words to Mugen relate to him being like a son she was never allowed to have.
“I figured it out today...my son died a long time ago. I was just being used.”
“Then why…?”
“I can’t fight them. They’re the government.”
“I want you to live, Mugen.”
Mugen must live on. By holding back, and allowing him to kill her, Sara, in her own way, saved Mugen’s life. She was unable to save her son, and this was the only way she was able to redeem herself.
Sara had conversations with Mugen about her child. And Sara had conversations with Fuu about Mugen. “I can’t sense people’s feelings.” “Which one don’t you want to leave?”
These episode featured lots and lots of scenes of Mugen and Fuu together. Jin barely interacted with them and had less screentime, most of which was separated from them; fighting Sara, and being trained to fish by Jonny.
This episode was about Mugen’s past way of life, and Fuu’s feelings for Mugen saving him from a life of sorrow.
Sara let Mugen live, solely because she saw that he deserved to live in place of her own miserable existence. A life worth living. Mugen was not like her anymore. He found happiness. He found people who care about him. He found someone willing to die for him.
One last thing: The repeated symbolism of a pinwheel is used throughout Sara’s episodes.
From what I can gather, a pinwheel seems to represent childhood innocence. Numerous anime use it this way: The Hakkenden has an image of a pinwheel torn apart when the virgin princess is forced to marry a dog, to fulfill the bargain of whoever killed her father’s enemy. (This sounds awful, but anime explains it). Cowboy Bebop has Ed find a pinwheel in her orphanage, and then she hands it to Spike. Cowboy Bebop’s director is the same as Samurai Champloo too so it clearly has the same symbolism.
First, Fuu sees one when a child is being carried on a woman’s back… Later, at the festival, the assassin is selling pinwheels. Lastly, when Sara realizes her son is dead, a pinwheel flies off into the wind.
There is one other appearance of a pinwheel in Samurai Champloo. In episode one, Mugen flicks a pinwheel outside of Fuu’s restaurant, right before he meets her for the first time.
The colors are very similar too.
Coincidence? I think not.
While the pinwheel flick could have been a simple start of a journey, it was also Mugen meeting the most innocent woman in his life. One who did not betray him, and showed him more empathy than anyone else.
And the same color pinwheel in episode 20, may symbolize Mugen is the son figure for Sara, after losing her own.
Perhaps this will help you see a new outlook of Mugen’s relationship to Sara.
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I read A Breach of Trust and...
I fall in love.
Seriously.
This is the reason why I love so much the fandom of Mob psycho 100.
Everything is perfection in this fanfic !!
And if you have finished mp100, you should read this beautiful masterpiece written by @phantomrose96 .
It's only recently that I dicovered ABoT. And omg, I was so excited each time I finish a chapter. It's so well written. Even if I am French, I can pretty well understand English.
(Okay...I know I do not write English very well... I'm sorry ^^' I'm doing my best XD)
So after 3 days nonstop reading ABoT, I finished it. And... Seeing that it wasn't the end. I looked for the author.
And I found her (or... him? No I'm pretty sure it's a girl) on tumblr. I enjoyed to find out who was this amazing author. (Obviously, I read these other fanfics. And I love them)
After finding what I wanted on her account, I was pleased and confused.
Because I Iearned that she continued to write the fanfic. But, that there were many haters.
And I'm pretty sad about it... No one deserved this.
I know there will always be. But, I think they're wrong about something.
There is no sexual harassment on minor or whatever.
It's a shame, I think, that some people think that.
But, everyone can think whatever they want. But... To hurt the author mentally. I don't really think that a good idea.
We should respect everyone, even if we don't like their art or what they do. As long as this person does no harm to anyone, there is no reason to harass them.
So... I one day, you, the author read this. I'm with you ! And do not let yourself be pissed off by these people ! Maybe you already do not care about them. But... I wish you good luck. You do a great job. And I think you are a really great person (I love Fullmetal Alchimist too XD), so don't let you down ! (I don't fucking know if it's correct (I mean, in language))
I just wanting to say, that I love what you do, and I will support you !
About your fanfic, I love this idea. If Shigeo didn't meet Reigen, but Mogami instead. It shows how much a person can change someone's life.
And even the added characters are perfect. They are so deeply rooted in your story. And you describe so well the emotions and all that stuff... that we feels this tension, and relief when it's calm.
And I love more and more each characters. (except Mogami (IhatehimHehurtthebabysunshineT-T))
And I ask myself so many questions. Will Teru really change, even after meeting Shigeo ? (I think maybe yeeees..?)
Like Dimple, did not meet Shigeo, will he expand his sect ? If yes, Ichi will stay trapped in this sect ? (I hope no...)
For the club of Tome, will it beaucoup completely dissolved ? Yes, of course. But the club can still stay in their classroom, with the bodybuilding club ?
Is Tsubomi worried about Shigeo's disapperance ? But do they really know each other in this story ?
I think that Onigawara will lose against the school of Black Vinegar (I'm not sure of this name in English).
Will Kamuro do the same bullshit in this fanfic ? (Like it's Ristu who gave more or less the idea)
Will the Claw achieve its goal ?
Will they meet one day, Shou ?
Is the whole group of the Claw going to stay bad ? Serizawa will stay with us ?
And... etc...
I have so many questions about this, on the added characters, and on the plot obviously (Will Mogami return ?!)
In short, I love all of this.
And if you don't want to continue to write or post this fanfic. I understand.
Do what you want. And don't force yourself. And maybe you don't want to hear about this fanfic anymore. And I'm sorry if that is the case.
So...
Thank you so much for writing this beautiful thing. It's such a great idea.
And thank you for your attention. I tend to write too much.
And sorry for the bad language.
I truth I wanted to make a fanart, but I did not have time. So why not next time.
(Yay, my first post :D)
#mob pyscho 100#mp100#A breach of trust#Abot#phantomrose86#I love so much this fandom and anime and everything dksbdosbs#i want to hug mob so bad#long live love and peace plz
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Day 4 Modern.
Warning: mentions of sex and stuff but nothing explicit (too lazy to actually do the lemon) and OOCness.
Sometimes she asked about her relationship with her neighbour. Even she felt that it was weird. And it truly was.
At school they were kind of like rivals, everyone knew how much she wanted to be better than him, maybe most people in school thought they hated each other but they didn't. And off school they were lovers.
Of course they started as friends, they were neighbours so their families were friends too, Momo, his older sister was the same age as Ichigo, her older brother, those two went to the same high school, his mother and her father used to know each other at college too, so there was no excuse for them to not meet each other as children.
The first time they actually talked with each other was when her mother died in a car crush, they were 3 at the time. She remembered crying in front of him telling him that she didn't want to see Ichi-nii hurt, didn't want to see her father and sister sad. He told her that it will be fine and he agreed to let her play with his toys. That day she learned to play soccer because he was the one who taught her.
Back then people knew them as two inseparable friends, and they were. While he usually got bullied because of his hair she was always there to defend him, and when she needed help in anything he'd always be there to help her as well. They were both happy until they entered high school. Both of them changed, Toshiro became quite popular, because of his grades, and ironically his looks. He was admired by everyone, including people who hated him because they were just jealous of him. He was smart, good at sports, liked by all the teachers, and good looking.
That was when things started to get a little weird between them. Or more like awkward. Neither of them wanted to let their feelings ruin their life. So they stayed as they were before. Karin occasionally would challenge him only to realize she could not beat him. She realised how much better he was than her and it usually angered her.
Things between them really changed the day when she became curious.
“Hey Toshiro, the other day I overheard a girl say that she got a friend with benefits” one day Karin said out of the blue. They were at his house doing a project.
“And? Why are you saying that?” He asked.
“Well, I'm curious”
“About?” He didn't really like where that was going.
“Aren't you curious about sex? I am. We are 16 for god's sake, we are meant to be curious about this type of stuff. A lot of people I know has already had partners of their own and some in our class even has a friend with benefits. While I'm here who hasn't even had her first kiss” Karin complained.
“I didn't know you cared about first kisses and stuff” he said without looking at her. If he had to be honest with himself he thought about those stuff too.
Sometimes he'd wake up in the morning with a hard on because of some indecent dreams he had of his best friend. Those were the reasons why it was so awkward sometimes for him to face her while they walk to schools in mornings.
“Is not that I care about all the first kiss concept being special and all that shit movies talk about, I'm just curious, I want to know the feeling of kissing someone, I don't really care who that person is you know? And sex too, I just want to have the experience, I don't care about this “save your virginity for the right person” stuff that some girl talk about.” She faked the sweet girl's voice while she pretended being one of those girls in movies. “I mean it's so old school to think like that”
He was speechless “you don't care who you do it with?” He asked after a while.
“Not really, if I have the chance I'd do it, you know how curious I am” she admitted.
“What if we have sex right now?” He didn't mean to ask that but when the words left his mouth it was too late.
She blushed, shocked at his question. “What?” it was not like she never dreamed having sex with him. But...
“You said that you were curious right?” Toshiro didn't know what was happening to him but he couldn't shut up. He got up from his chair at his table, the project forgotten and walked over to her who was sitting on his bed with their textbook open. “To be honest, I'm curious about this too. And I do want to get rid of my virginity.” he really had no idea what took over his brain. But it was too late.
She grabbed his shirt and pushed him down toward her.
There was no going back when their lips connected for the first time. Of course it satisfied her curiosity but there was something more. Because both of them knew their feelings for each other. But at that moment they didn't want to say anything.
She thought that he only wanted this because he wanted to get rid of his virginity while he thought that she only wanted to do this because she was curious. It was a shame that neither of them knew how wrong they were about each other's feelings.
“What are we now?” She asked the next day as they walked to school.
“We are still friends right?” He asked coldly. He had no idea how much those words had hurt her
Karin was hurt. She never thought that he'd be like that. He used her just so he could get rid of something he didn't want. While she knew that she couldn't complain because she was the one who said that she wanted this.
“I guess we are now friends with benefits too huh?” She sighed. The sadness in her voice was unnoticed. “i satisfied my curiosity and you got rid of your virginity”
He nodded looking away, he didn't want to tell her that he only did that because he loved her but she didn't feel the same so he kept his mouth shut this time.
They repeated the experience a few times after their first time. Still no one said anything about their real feelings. They both said that they were content with what they had, but deeply they were hurting.
Both Yuzu and Momo noticed the changes. Yuzu noticed when her sister started hanging around her and her friends during lunch. Karin used to spend lunch time with Toshiro. While Momo noticed her brother's change behaviour when she found him walking to school alone, he used to walk to school with Karin.
Yuzu had had enough of this weird behavior. As much as she enjoy having her sister at lunch she hated seeing her favorite couple being separated like that. She wanted to be his sister in law some day. And so far they were doing a horrible job of being together. So one day she confronted Karin with her questions.
“Karin, how is Hitsugaya-kun doing? I haven't seen his around you for a while, are you two fighting again or something?”
Karin tensed at her older twin's question. “i haven't talked to him for a while.” she said honestly.
“Why? I thought you two were best friends”
“We were… it's just complicated Yuzu" the past tense didn't gone unnoticed by the light haired girl.
“Explain to me, if there is something wrong I want to help you Karin. You have always been there for me so I want to help you too” Karin looked at her sister and the look told her that she was serious and she wanted to know what was going on. So she sighed, she couldn't lie to her sister.
“Yuzu… Toshiro and I…we… well... I slept with him, and now everything is complicated” she said. “ok... is not that complicated, we have because friends with benefits now…” she mumbled
The older sister's eyes widened for a second before she placed a hand on her twin's shoulder.
“When?” Yuzu asked.
“A month and half ago, it was when I went to his house to finish that history project…”
“Do you love him Karin?” Yuzu asked.
Karin was shocked by the question. “I guess so…” she had only admired to herself about her feelings before so telling some else about it was weird. “But it doesn't really matter. Toshiro doesn't feel the same way. When we agreed to this, he said that he wanted to get rid of his virginity”
“And what about you, what did you say?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Karin” at the time Yuzu used she could tell that she was serious with every single question.
“Well… I said that I was curious about sex, and that I'd do it with anyone if I had the chance.”
Yuzu sighed and she finally understood the problem. “Karin, you should tell him about your feelings”
“Why?”
“Because you don't deserve this. I want you to be happy.”
“But there is nothing between us, it's only casual sex. It's… nothing more than that…” her voice kept getting lower and lower.
“Karin I think you misunderstood everything. Of course… Hitsugaya-kun misunderstood you too. I know you and I know him enough to to know that you are both really awkward when it come to love and relationships.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is, you've been dancing around your feelings for each other and you are both afraid to tell each other how you feel. You know what… never mind just go talk to him, trust me on this”
Karin always trusted Yuzu so the next day she decided to tell her long time friend.
She found him on the roof at lunch time, she knew that he liked that place because there he could eat in peace, before everything happened they always ate there so none of his fans could bother them.
“Toshiro… I want to talk to you” she said straightforwardly. She had never liked those types of girls that forget their voices at the presence of a guy they liked.
“What is it?” He asked without looking up at her.
She was nervous but she didn't let it show “I just want to say something I should have said a long time ago, well two things I guess. First I want to tell you that I like you Toshiro and secondly I'm sorry”
He looked up at her and he was shocked “what?” She liked him too? Since when?.
She sighed and set down next to him. “Lately things have been weird between us… Yuzu noticed it and yesterday we talked. She asked a question that caught me off guard. She asked if I loved you. I already knew my answer when she asked but yesterday it was my first time admitting it out loud that I do love you. The talk made me realize so much, the biggest thing I realised is that I regretted not telling you this sooner. I also realised that-” she was cut off. Her mouth was occupied by hid and she realised that she didn't mind that cliche as much as she though she did.
“I'm glad you return my feelings, and I'm sorry too, I should have told you that before we slept together, I took advantage of you, I thought you just wanted to do it with someone so it could satisfy your curiosity. I didn't want to ruin our relationship so I lied and told you that I just wanted to get rid of my virginity” he admitted. “But I don't understand why didn't you tell me about your feelings?” He asked after a while.
“I never thought I'd be special to you” she said.
“Idiot, apart from my family, you were the first person to accept me as who I am. Before high school people never liked me because of my hair and my personali. Don't you see that you've always been special to me, you are my first friend outside of my family, you and your family accepted me in and treated me like an actual human being.” he confessed.
“Why didn't you confess to me then?” She asked not looking at him because she was too busy blushing.
“I never thought I'd be special to you” he said exactly what she told him.
“You are the stupid one here, you were there when my mother died, you were the one who taught me how to play soccer, you were always there when I needed you. How much times have you helped me when I needed someone.” soon she started laughing and he panicked.
“What's so funny?”
“I just realised how stupid we've both been. Yuzu was right. We are both so awkward when it comes to love and relationships. None of this awkwardness would be here if we were better at expressing our feelings.”
“True” he agreed with a rare smile. A sign that she loved seeing.
“So what are we now?” She asked after a while. “Do you want to start over again?”
“Go out with me” he said.
“Huh, as a date?” She teased.
“Yes. I want to spend time with you doing others things other than sex. It's good but a relationship is not only that”
She laughed at his blushing face. She felt a lot better after this “do you feel better now? I feel a lot lighter now that I told you how I really feel.”
“I do. So do you or do you not want to go 9n a date with me?” He asked.
“A date it is then! I look forward to it.”
When she wondered about their relationship, she realized that it didn't matter if it was weird, as long as they were happy. It never mattered.
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