#I keep thinking of this when I Encounter Situations on an average day
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Hiiiiiii can I request where Chuuya and Fyodor's s/o got captured by Dazai to be interrogate and torture for info but there's no need to do that because s/o just tells Dazai all the half-truths BUT IN RIDDLES and also s/o despite being put in an isolated glass room she is still very much in control of the situation and she can honestly get out of the room anytime she wants but not without spilling some blood ofcourse.
You really should get out more - that's what you were thinking anyway. Sure, getting kidnapped and interrogated by the ADA wasn't on your agenda for the day, but hey, plans change all the time. You smiled, flexing your wrists in the fragile cuffs keeping them behind your back.
The key was always remaining flexible.
So yes, you were quite relaxed. Your underground 'prison' was devoid of any distractions, but as always, you were never one to waste times when there were silver linings to be found. It allowed you time; time to think, to plot, to come up with a thousand escape plans, all involving varying degrees of blood and gore. Fyodor wouldn't come to your aid- you were sure of that much. Perhaps that would be insulting to others, but to you, the message was clear: he trusted you. He trusted that his little bird, his little love, his darling with the knife-tipped fingers and the bloody smile would find their way back to him no matter what. It would be child's play, getting out; another thing you knew for certain. Even with the ADA trapping you, you had deduced a few critical facts. One- they had hidden your current location from you, leaving you in the dark as to where you were. Two- the amounts of time between visitors averaged around an hour between each encounter. Three- They always came in alone, and there were only three suspects you'd come to expect. The conclusion you had come to made you smile even wider in your solitude: not only were they weakened significantly, their members were stretched far too thin to possibly stand a chance at containing you if it came down to it.
yes, you knew it sure as you knew your own name.
And it maddened the man sitting across the room from you despite his best attempts to hide it.
Osamu Dazai was quickly falling into a battle of wits with you, baited by your silence and your odd little smiles.
"You already know my question," he smiled, approaching you. "So I'll ask again for the last location of Fyodor's base of operations as you know it."
"And my answer has not changed, detective- you're an even bigger idiot than you look if you think I'm simply going to tell you." Instead of keeping your eyes lowered in some vain attempt to hide any 'tells,' you kept your eyes up. You stared him down, lips curling up into a pleasant smile. "You're welcome to leave and send in another one of your associates to try again."
He turns away, sneering as he striped off his coat, dropping it on the floor before revealing a wickedly pointed knife that reflected the slightly deranged gleam in his eyes. They chilled you, those eyes- how similar they were to Fyodor's, not in appearance maybe, but in their cool ruthlessness, in their kaleidoscopic depth that made you feel at once safe and critically endangered.
'I could hurt you, you know," he purred, slipping behind you, roughly pulling your head back by your hair and exposing the smooth column of your throat to him.
"You could," you agree, still smiling. "But what good will spilling my blood do you? Other than making me more inclined to lie in order to stop the pain...Really, what cards do you have to play? You have no way of proving what I say is true; anything I tell you is tantamount to sending you on a wild goose chase even if it is true. I suppose you could kill me, but then you've lost the closest chance you have at finding the man you seek." His eyes narrow as you chuckle. "And the longer you wait to decide what to do with me, the higher the risk grows that I will grow bored and simply walk away, leaving you lot empty handed." You swallow hard as the blade finds your jugular, a slip of a finger being the difference between life and death.
"And anyway, you've walked on the ground you seek already...it's not my fault you're too blind to see it. At this point your wasting my time, running in circles when you've found the answer. You dogs, detectives- you'd rather gnaw on the bone of a satisfying interrogation than tie up the loose ends you've already begun to unravel! The answer is so simple, you've never even thought to look- the easiest way to confuse smart people, I find, is to make the solutions to their problems the most obvious one."
You're close enough that you can register the look that crosses Dazai's face- the look of a man who's been given the all important device when it comes to solving any puzzle: a clue.
"Where?"
You let your head fall to the side, nicking your skin in the process. "Oh no, detective, I'm afraid that's all I'm inclined to offer.
Your intentions were clear - goading a man like Osamu Dazai was a dangerous game, and yet here you were. He spun the knife in his hands, until the point hovered directly above your heart. "Where?"
This time, you simply let your head fall back, smiling insipidly as you feel your ability floating at the edges of your consciousness, begging you to harness it.
"Really?" His voiced hissed in your ear, venomous and angry as he began to lose his patience. "You talk too much too often and choose now to be silent?"
"You talk too much detective-
next time, I would advise you to keep your eyes on the hands of your captives rather than their mouths."
In the time it takes to blink, you had him on the wall, as you used your hands to wrap the handcuffs around his throat and squeeze, his knife now tucked neatly against his pulse point.
"I warned you, detective- next time, I advise you to not let me get bored."
You smiled sweetly at him one last time, tightening the chain as you pecked his cheek.
"Do svidaniya!"
#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd#bungo stray dogs#fyodor x reader#bsd fyodor x reader#fyodor dostoyevsky x reader
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Things That Don't Work Out
← Previous Part
Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader
Warnings: Dumbass + Obsessive Gojo
*I read this wrong and answered it wrong when I realized I deleted it so here’s the continuation
“She doesn’t want me.” Satoru’s fingers run through his hair as he sits on his bed, trying to process the whole situation. It feels surreal. A woman that claimed she loved him is now with someone else, giving an idiot a love that is Gojo’s.
But Satoru didn’t want that love, so shouldn’t she be allowed to move on and give it to someone else? No. That’s for him. Just for him, for no one else. Satoru just pictures your dumb boyfriend and anger consumes every ounce of his being. He’s so average… Someone not worth your time. He didn’t even know you’re into blonds.
He still hasn't processed it. You must be doing this for his attention, there’s no other explanation. Why would you settle for someone so… average, there’s no other explanation other than that. You claim you don’t want him because you’re too embarrassed to admit that you’re doing all of this for his attention.
“How do I get her to admit that she wants me?” Satoru asks himself. It’s like he’s about to go crazy over this. It has been two days since your encounter and that’s all he can think about. Your claims that you don’t love him have been clouding his thoughts. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!”
“Satoru.” There’s a faint knock on his door. His best friend is on the other side and he’s worried since Satoru has been acting rather… strange. “Are you okay?”
Satoru ignores it, but then takes a deep breath and stands up. He opens the door for his best friend. Suguru looks over the man who clearly isn’t doing his best.
“She’s mine.” Satoru says, and Suguru blinks slowly, trying to process his best friend’s words, attempting to make sense of them.
“Who?” Suguru questions. Satoru hasn’t talked about any woman so Suguru is fairly confused.
“She’s mine, Suguru. Any man that dares to go near her is a dead man because she’s mine and only mine.”
“Satoru, what’s wrong with you?”
“I have to get to her before that bastard dares to steal her love from me.” Satoru says, walking past Suguru and going to the door. Suguru is confused. Perplexed. But he grabs his phone to call Shoko because perhaps Satoru confided in her, which is unlikely but not impossible.
Satoru isn’t even aware of the time and space around him. A rainy night, nearly midnight. He’s getting soaked in rain but he walks to your apartment and pounds knocks on the door. There’s no response, however, he keeps knocking. He has the right to see you, you’re his’ after all.
You will be. He isn’t letting any man take that from him.
“Satoru, leave her alone.” He hears, and he slowly turns around to find Shoko of all people.
“She’s mine, Shoko. I have to get her back from that dumbass.” Satoru says.
“C’mon, let’s go. Let her move on.” Shoko puts her hand on his shoulder, but he quickly slaps it away.
“Don’t you ever touch me again. Only she can.” Satoru spits. Shoko is shocked by this reaction which only tells her that Satoru isn’t doing so well. She doesn’t understand where this is coming from when he so nonchalantly broke your heart. “She’s doing this all for my attention, and I hope she’s happy because she’s got it.”
“Sato-” She begins but he quickly interrupts her.
“Don’t talk to me! What if she comes out and gets jealous?” Satoru tells her. “Just leave!”
Shoko doesn’t really know what to do. She sighs and nods before walking away. This is worse than she thought. She’ll have to share everything with Suguru, which she didn’t want to do. But first she has to text you.
Luckily enough, Satoru hadn’t studied his surroundings because if he did, he would’ve found you making out with your boyfriend in your car.
@belovedcherry
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About ten years ago Craigslist had the "casual encounters" section. I had a few successful encounters before they got rid of it.
One night I was high and horny and I got fixated on the idea of meeting a woman I had never met before at a hotel with the intent to do blow and fuck all night. So I made a post and after about an hour of spam bots i got a real reply from a sexy thick blonde milf that was 10 years older than me.
We emailed back and forth for about a day, feeling each other out and when we both were sure we were legit, we began making plans on when and where. I chose a nice hotel with an in room jacuzzi that was close to where she lived called Lake Tarpon Resort (the name has since changed).
The day arrives and I pick up an 🎱 from my co-worker and head to the hotel, two cities away from me. I was a bit nervous on the drive, it was raining pretty hard and the whole situation was crazy to begin with. Stopped at a Walgreens and sat for a moment to think things through and decided I'd come that far, this is going down. So I buy a box of condoms and drive the final mile to the hotel.
I go in the lobby and there she is, exactly like her pictures. She was wearing what looked like basically sexy office worker attire, black heels, black skirt, white blouse, black jacket. Sounds plain the way I described it but she looked hot in it.
I get our room key and we head up. The moment we're in the room we're all over each other, kissing, ours hands exploring each other's bodies until I pull away and pull out the ❄ and break out some lines. Watching a woman do a line of blow is a huge turn on for me, so when she did hers I was rock hard and ready to go.
I just undress like normal which disappointed her because she wanted to undress me. So to make up for it I push her on the bed and begin undressing her, trying to be sexy but really just doing it frantically and awkwardly. It doesn't matter, we're high, she's wet, I'm hard, were ready to fuck.
Now, I was hardly sexually experienced at the time, I'd never even given a woman oral. I wasn't a virgin but I had only had sex like 3 times before, so a part of the reason I wanted to do this in the first place was to get some proper experience under my belt lol.
She tells me she wants to suck my cock, so I lay down. She tells me my cock is huge, which I just roll my eyes at because at the time I didn't think it was anything but average, and then begins to give me a passable bj (I've never really enjoyed getting head all that much, even today). Then she surprises me by putting the condom on me with her mouth like a hooker lol. She straddles me and sits on my cock, and to my surprise she's still acting like it's huge, easing it in slow like she can't take it. I think she's just trying to make me feel good. She finally had my cock all the way inside her pussy and she tells me not move. She just sits there catching her breath then finally begins to ride my cock. I grab her tits but then after maybe the third time she bounces on my cock she lets out a loud moan as her whole body shudders. She came and I barely did anything. At the moment I began to think maybe she wasn't just trying to be nice about the size of my cock, especially when I saw how wet my pelvis and thighs were from her. That's when I knew that night was gonna be even better than I had imagined.
She rides me until we both cum together. We do some more lines and after a bit it's time for round 2. I love kissing so I wanted her on her back missionary style. I put the second condom on myself and climb on the bed. As I push my cock inside she's whimpering and telling me to go slow, so I do. Once I'm in her, I begin to fuck her in the most awful "push up style" looking way, you know, holding my upper body up with my arms like I'm doing a push up while I clumsily thrusted my lower body forward. This was exactly why I wanted to use the night as practice. Finally I figured out that resting on my knees while keeping my upper body upright is way better and I began to finally fuck her good and proper. She didn't last long again and neither did I, but when I was about to cum she DEMANDS that I "Take that fucking condom off" and cum on her. I pull out and try pulling the condom off and she immediately grabs it from me and yanks it off my cock so fast, which to this day is one of the hottest things I've ever experienced-- seeing just how badly she wanted me to cum on her that she couldn't wait for me to take it off so pulled it off herself. I shoot big load and she says "Fuck yes, that's what I wanted" when it manages to get on her face as well.
The rest of the tale is hazy. We stopped using condoms for the rest of the night. We kept doing blow in between each round until it was gone. Fucked her 5 times total, round 3 was my first time giving a cream pie, round 4 we fucked standing doggy and I came disappointingly small amount on her ass, and round 5 was after we went to sleep, I woke up to her grabbing on my cock which was already hard and fucked her as we laid on our sides, cumming inside her again if any cum actually came out of me lol.
I still am in touch with her to this day, though we have never met up again. I wish I could remember more details, but as Rick James said... Cocaine is a Hell of a drug.
#meet and fuck#let's get high and fuck#sex and drugs#sex with strangers#sex confessions#florida#crazy story#true stroy
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vld x pjo au chapter 1
okay, there probably a few typos, but I want to put this here before I put it onto ao3. I also don’t have a title for this au so it won’t be on ao3 till I think of one anyway. Enjoy.
it’s a long post, about 3000 words
Shiro was tired. He was tired of feeling alone, he was tired of his low paying job, he was tired of the price of his favorite gas station drink always rising.
The Arizona tea in his left hand was cold against the knit fabric of his gloves, the chill seeping in. He took another swig as he traced his steps from the bus stop back to his apartment. His living space was small, the walls were thin and the heating system barely worked. But Shiro knew it was all he could afford.
He was lucky that he could afford an apartment in his situation.
Not even three months ago his grandmother, his last living family member, had passed. It was a bad fall, no one had expected it. And Shiro was left alone. An eighteen year old who only just finished highschool.
He’d planned on taking a gap year, but with how things were going for him, he severely doubted he’d even be able to attend college. So much for astrophysics.
So he was stuck in a shitty job, in an average town, with a not so average life. Because ever since he was a kid Shiro was fighting for his life, and not in the metaphorical sense. No. In the ‘wild and absurd monsters keep attacking me at random and the only thing that seems to kill them is a baseball bat I found in a parking lot’ kind of way.
And Shiro was exhausted.
Working for a gym definitely hadn't been his first choice of jobs, the floor and air were always sticky with sweat, and he had to wake up early as sin to be on time for his morning shift. But it paid the bills, kinda. Last month he’d also had to pick up a job at a local coffeehouse, with all the college kids studying for their lives, the place was open 24/7. So Shiro worked the night shift. He barely slept anymore due to his schedule.
So he was overworked and miserable, one of the only bright spots in his day being the Arizona tea he bought himself on his way home from the gym. Even as its price hiked over one dollar (a true crime) The sidewalk beneath his sensible hiking boots was slick with wet leaves. It had rained that week, unusual for the area, but appreciated nonetheless. Even if it made things more cold and sad.
Shiro glanced up at the overcast sky, it looked strange. As if he was staring through a warped glass. He could almost swear he saw a misty horse in the clouds.
Either the sleep deprivation was finally catching up to him, or there were more monsters on his tail. It had been a few weeks since he was backed into an alley by a very angry boar. It had taken an hour and a lot of trying to climb dumpsters and apartment buildings to get rid of the thing. Like all monsters he’d encountered, it disappeared into golden dust once he slayed it.
Shiro really hoped it was sleep deprivation. He didn’t have time to fight for his life today. He only had so long to rest before his part of the night shift at the coffeehouse. And he needed the rest.
So he ignored the strange clouds and continued his walk home. He unlocked his rickety door and set down his backpack, content to sleep until his next alarm went off. Shiro finished off his drink and face planted into bed, his muscles screaming at him for daring to use them. Content to ignore the compression brace on his knee, it would hurt when he woke but he didn't care enough to remove it at that moment.
Maybe the slight thrumming in his skull would be gone when he woke up, he was much too tired to scrounge around for headache medicine, he only had so long to sleep before his next shift.
-
Something was growling into the cold air around Shiro. A fur covered creature of some kind stood in front of his collapsed body. Shiro’s palms were stinging painfully, but he wasn't sure why. He wasn't sure of a lot of things actually.
Like why he was in a dead end alleyway, or why he was on the ground, only propped slightly by the trash bag he was leaned against. ‘Gross, I just showered too.’’
Or why a cloaked figure stood just yards away, purple mist surrounding them, only illuminated by a flickering street light, and the moo. A nails on chalkboard laugh ringing into the night. A dread creeping into his gut.
But what Shiro was most confused about was why the strange creature seemed to be protecting him. It stood a bit over two feet tall, matted tail swinging slowly behind it like a warning. He could tell now that the growling was coming from this animal, and it was directed at the hooded figure.
Only then did Shiro realize the cement below the creature was pooling with red liquid. Blood.
And as the creature lunged forward with a cry, the hooded figure disappeared in a cloud of purple mist. Something Shiro couldn't understand escaping their lips.
-
He woke with a start, a light coat of sweat sticking to his skin.
He was used to strange dreams, but they only came so often. And tended to prophesize his near future. Once as a child he’d had a dream about lightning flickering in the skies above him. One week later he was struck out of the blue, not a cloud in sight. It was a miracle he survived, and in some kind of medical phenomena, he had almost no lasting damage. The only things he carried from the incident were; a staticy feeling in his body when a storm was near, and the Lichtenberg figure scars arching down his back from the impact spot, only stopping when his spine ended.
So when Shiro had strange dreams, he paid attention to them. As best he could at least, as he only remembered his dreams for so long, rediscovering them only after whatever future he’d glimpsed had happened. So he tended to have a strong sense of deja vu with his life threatening predicaments.
Due to his tired overworked brain, he rarely thought to write his dreams down, truly a testament to the fact that his brain was not fully developed.
So Shiro, sticky with unsettling dream related sweat, turned over in his creaky twin sized bed and closed his eyes, determined to rest until his alarm startled him out of his skin with the first few notes of The Black Parade, (after all a emo phase never truly leaves a person.)
Unfortunately for his dreams of proper fulfilling rest, the sun was hitting the point in its journey across the sky where its blinding rays hit him right in the fucking eyes. No matter how he shifted and squirmed in his sheets he couldn't escape the reminder that he was trying to sleep through the day because he worked the night shift at a coffee house filled with stress ridden collage kids. It was a depressing thought.
So, Shiro kicked off his blanket and rubbed a hand over his tired eyes, trying to erase the sleepiness. He was determined to make it through the day, whatever purple mist and cackling ladies had to say about it. He pushed himself up and set his feet on the floor, hanging his head in exhaustion.
He hobbled his tired bones over to the small kitchen counter of his one bedroom apartment and set a kettle on the stove. Ever since eighth grade he’d been drinking a cup of tea when he woke up, a habit his grandparents had instilled in him. What they didn't need to know was that he was drinking highly caffeinated black tea and not even bothering to remove the teabag after it finished steeping. Or that half the time he didn't even bother with the kettle and straight up microwaved a mug of water.
But thankfully or not they weren't alive to receive that information. But if they had been buried Shiro was sure they’d be rolling in their graves. He smiled a little at that thought, though the grief was still fresh in his gut.
While he sat on the counter reminiscing, the kettle began to whistle and Shiro switched off the stove, watching the steam rise when he poured the boiling water into a mug. A black cat print on a white base, the cat was shooting rainbow lasers out of his eyes. His grandmother had gifted it to him after he came out. He'd always thought it was funny.
A lump formed in his throat as he thought about the good times when his grandparents, his family, were alive. But he shook his head, he didn't have the time to be upset. He was a fully functioning member of society, or at least that's what he told himself to get through the day.
After a bowl of three day old miso soup, and a couple hours watching youtube videos to pass the little spare time he had before work Shiro straightened his wrinkled after nap outfit and slipped his shoes back on. His knee brace was starting to hurt, the leg hairs trapped beneath causing the skin to feel irritated and sore. So Shiro picked at the velcro and tore the thing off, rubbing a hand over his hurting leg, it felt like shit. He really shouldn’t of fallen asleep with it on, much less left it on afterwards. But he was sure it wouldn't be the last time.
Fortunately his headache seemed to have gone away, a break of luck in his shitty last few months. He would take whatever he could get. Besides, he probably had very little headache medicine left, and a trip to the store would only be a hassle for his very little freetime.
But after collecting his things and tucking his knee brace into his backpack, Shiro grabbed his keyring and headed out the door, just in time to catch his bus.
-
It was still cold and overcast when Shiro stepped out at the bus stop, the bus driving off behind him. The streets were alight with numerous glowing bulbs and small shops getting ready to close at nine. He was ten minutes early as usual, needing the time to clock in and ready himself for the eight hour shift ahead of him.
The clouds were still rolling and warping above, strange shapes forming then quickly dissipating. It was unusual, but once again he chose to ignore the strangeness, if he had to fight tonight he didn't have much choice in the matter. But it would probably be advisable to do it after he got his paycheck.
The Night Owl was warm and welcoming, something Shiro always enjoyed about the small shop. Dim lights hung from the ceiling, mismatched tables and chairs taking up the majority of the floor space. College students were typing away at their laptops greasy hair pulled back into ponytails and stuffed underneath beanies. The smell of coffee engulfed the room, warm and highly caffeinated.
Shiro quietly traded out with a coworker and stored his things away for the night. It was slow, not many people coming in or out. He tried looking busy, slowly washing the few empty cups and plates while his nightshift buddy wiped down a used table.
The ambient music coming from the few speakers in the shop, lulling him into a trance only interrupted by the occasional customer. It was around 2:00 am when something interesting finally happened.
He was making a hot black coffee when someone stepped up to the counter, it took a moment to realize that the person was there. He was short with a mop of tangled black hair and dark eyes the same black brown as Shiro’s own. Three pink scars etched into his cheek, they looked like claw marks, they must’ve hurt like hell. He was young, definitely not older than thirteen, Shiro wondered why a kid was allowed out alone so late, but he wasn't in any position to ask personal questions.
“So, what do you want, kid?” Shiro said not unkindly. A still nagging voice in his head concerned for the child.
“How much does water cost?”
“Twenty five cents,”
“Cool,” The kid dug a gloved hand into the inside pocket of his too big cropped leather jacket. He pulled two out quarters and put one back, it didn't make a clink. He carefully put the coin on the counter, and Shiro felt bad as he put it in the register. From context clues he could guess this was the kid’s only money and he didn't feel great taking it. But it was his job.
“Can I get a name for your order?”
“Uh,” he stumbled a bit. “Keith.”
Weird.
“Okay, thank you. It’ll be out for you soon.” Shiro returned to his coffee making while Keith walked away and took a chair in the corner, his back to the wall as he pulled a book out of the ratty backpack he'd placed on the floor next to him.
Shiro set the finished mug of coffee for his previous customer and called out, “Black coffee for Kayta.” Not waiting for the girl to collect her beverage before he walked into the back room to grab another clear water cup.
Shiro was, to say the least, concerned. A young kid, alone, in the cold city. He had to do something, right? Like, ask if he had a place to stay tonight, no you idiot, if that were the case he wouldn't be in a coffee shop at three in the morning.
Maybe Shiro could give him some money. What money? You can barely afford rent.
Shiro sat down on a crate in the back, the plastic cup in hand, thinking over his decision. His conscience wouldn't let him rest if he ignored this situation right in front of him. His eyes veered to the stock of teabags in a box. I could make him some warm tea, and maybe some food! My manager didn't bother to show up! I can sneak him something. Hell yeah, now that's an idea!
Shiro, now fully ignoring the fact that he could be fired if found out for stealing, began to dig around in the refrigerator for some tamales he could microwave. After choosing his selection of pork tamales and a bag of mandarin spice tea he scooted back to the kitchen to prepare it.
-
With plate in one hand and his other juggling a mug of tea and a plastic cup of water, Shiro maneuvered through the assorted tables and chairs. The low lighting was making it kind of difficult to avoid tripping on the random charging chords strewn on the floor, but he continued forward. Keith was curled up in his armchair, holding what seemed to be a copy of ‘Werewolves & Other Creatures of the Night.’ an interesting choice Shrio thought. But he was reading shitty vampire romances at around that age so he couldn't judge.
He made the last few steps and made a coughing noise to get Keith’s attention.
“I know you only ordered water, but honestly you seem kinda down on your luck and it's cold outside….” There was a very awkward pause as Keith looked up at him with dark quizzical eyes. “So uh, here. Tamales and some warm tea, also that water you ordered.” Shiro placed the food and drink on the table next to Keith’s chair and stepped back.
“Why?” Keith took hold of his water glass and held it between his hands.
“Cause’ it's fifty degrees outside and you're what eleven?” Shiro said.
“I’m twelve actually,” His face was blank. “Thank you though.”
Shiro smiled in relief. He was able to help the kid somehow at least. “No problem kid, take care.” Shiro nodded his head in acknowledgement and turned back to his job. Keith was in his seat peeling back the husks around his tamales fork at the ready.
-
The rest of Shiro’s night was uneventful, Keith was still in his chair when he left to catch his bus home. After a forty five minute power nap and another bowl of leftover soup Shiro put his knee brace back on and began to journey to the gym.
The strange clouds were still in the sky, and he once again chose to blame it on the sleep deprivation catching up to him.
He didn’t have time for life threatening emergencies.
-
That plan went to shit only three days later.
It was Sunday, the one day Shiro had off from work. He’d decided to walk to the nearby grocery store to buy the next week's groceries. It was still cold and cloudy, but the wind had picked up on his way home, and in the sky were flashes of light setting the dim streets alight momentarily.
His hands were cold in their thin gloves, the bags of food straining at his aching fingers. The wind was pushing against his back, almost throwing him to the sidewalk below multiple times. Strangely enough there was no one else on the road. Shiro was the only witness to the strange laughter emanating from the sky. He’d only heard that sound once in his life. On his eleventh birthday, when hot white fire struck him from the heavens.
He’d always thought it must've been the medicine, that's what his grandparents had always told him. But as the wind pushed him towards an alley, and the sky cackled at him, he understood he had lived this before. Something was in the storm, and he had met it before. And he would meet it again very soon.
Something in his breath caught as he tried to wrench away from the tide he’d been caught in, but he couldn't escape. His eyes darted all around, still no one walked the streets. No cars passed by. He was alone.
His body began to freeze, a deep chill climbing his limbs, sinking into his chest. It hurt like needles, like the countless days he spent in pain from an illness doctors didn't understand. And he couldn't scream in pain as he lost the ability to move. His bags of groceries fell to the ground as he was dragged into the secluded alley. A purple haze began to envelope him. The lightning still flickered in the sky, briefly lighting a hunched cloaked figure.
They had an outstretched hand as air beckoning to him, he had a good feeling they were the cause of all this.
“All alone, halfblood?” It was a woman's voice, hoarse and crackly. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you for some time now.”
What the fuck, ‘halfblood’ ‘watching me’?!
“You seem lonely,” The woman tilted her head, talking down to him as if he were a child. “I’m surprised you’re still alive. You must be very strong to make it this far.”
Shiro didn't feel strong.
“I could mold you into something much greater, a hero even. You won't have to feel so alone if you listen to me.” She waved her hands and his right arm regained its independence, “You just have to take my hand Takashi, I promise you will be great.” Beneath her hood Shiro could see her too white teeth, there was blood stuck to her gums, he felt sick.
Why on earth would I make such a deal, I know nothing about this lady, and she's not giving me any information. Besides, what care do I have for being a hero? I just want to survive.
Shiro didn’t move his fist to shake her’s, stubbornly keeping it still as if still frozen.
“Ah, not convinced? I thought you were smarter, young halfblood.”
That word again ‘halfblood’. What does it mean?
“Not to worry, I’ll help you regardless.” Her grin somehow grew wider. She stretched her arm out, just about to grasp his hand when an ear-splitting howl broke the silence.
The clouds parted, making way for the full moon to light the alleyway. In the corner of Shiro’s vision he saw a reddish doglike creature. It lunged towards the woman and the purple mist let go of him, tossing him to the pavement.
All of the sudden he remembered his dream from days ago. And Shiro groaned to himself. It always had to be him didn't it?
#can’t believe it#I got the first chapter done.#please take a chance on this au#it means the world to me#vld#voltron#voltron legendary defender#keith kogane#keith voltron#broganes#shirogane takashi#fanfic#vld x pjo au#I don’t think I need to tag this with any trigger warnings#but let me know if I need to
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Burn my Desire: Chapter II; Sneak Peak
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen/Female!Reader
Warnings: Allusions to Manipulation/Sexual Coercion; Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics; Minors DNI;
I do not give permission for any of my works or their included components to be copied, translated, and/or reposted, even with credit.
Why, your father had lit up as bright as the sun when Otto Hightower asked for your hand on Aemond’s behalf. You are certain, if it had not been for the shadows cast upon your face then, many would have witnessed the solemn fear upon your features.
At present, the memory is as vivid as the day it happened. Fresh and lively and all too easy to remember.
It makes for common nightmares. Sordid, twisted tales that mirror the vipers pit you’ve been left to rot in. Mother always did say you were not made for court. Even as a young child, she had done all she could to keep you home.
Away from prying lords and lady’s who wished nothing upon you but convenience for themselves. Hopeful, as they always are, for word of torrid affairs within their court.
Your particular situation did you no favors. Lady Ashford made Princess Targaryen; no attributes, secret talents, nor a history worthy of the royal family.
Some see it as a disgrace to those who petitioned their lovely, young daughters as a proffer of loyalty. A hope, tucked beneath hidden ambition, that they hold in trade the very same power that house Hightower does now.
A reward for their devotion towards the current King. Aegon, the fool he is, is more than content to recompense any lord who piques his interest. No doubt the high Lords who denied Rhaenyra as Queen did so out of want for power, not because they believed Aegon to be Viserys’ chosen heir.
The King did have the benefit of being born a man; an acceptable replacement for a mere woman.
Sometimes you imagine Rhaenyra seated atop the throne, head held high, her crown as sharp as the melded blades of Westeros’ fealty.
Other times, when you are brave enough for indulgence, you envision her just fury as she takes the heads of those who betrayed her. Oddly enough, you can never bring yourself to have Aemond present in these fantasies.
You fear him, and yet you cannot reconcile with the meager idea of his death. To do so leaves your rabbits heart pittering - stomach warped - ill.
Amidst your distress, concealed in stone, seems to be an attachment you cannot decipher. When you think of Aemond, you do not exclude the armor that adorns his name and keeps you from harm - namely the King, who has taken a liking to you recently.
Perhaps it is gratitude, or something akin to its relief, that masks your dread around the dark Prince? And yet, you must recognize you have only felt like this since he’d held you in his private solar.
You try to forget, to abolish the memory from your mind until it is burnt to ashes - to dust.
Every night, when you are settled and smothered in faint cottons, you relive the entire encounter all over again without your consent. His large hands hot against your hips, mouth pressed tight to your nape, and his aroma; dragon hide you can do without, but the floral soaps had been a welcome surprise.
It’s one you wish to experience once more despite yourself, though he has not asked for your presence since then. Not in such solitude. Your anxieties of approaching him over power your underlying want to inhale him the way he had done so to you.
You're torn from your contemplation when a guard at your back announces another's entrance within your personal space.
Not a sound escapes your throat before Alicent Hightower herself waltz within the gazebo you currently occupy; shoulders pulled back, jaw tense, hands clasped atop the emerald brocade of her skirts -
“You’re here,” she gleams, visibly relaxing when her gaze settles on you. It is an average sight; on your lonesome with only a book or needlework to keep you company, “may I join you, good-daughter?”
Declining your good-mother is not an option, whether you wish to or not. Without a word, you put your bookmark in its place, and close your tome with a nod. She sits beside you, reeking of apples and honey and lavender.
Ser Criston stands at the entrance of the gazebo you occupy, hand tight against the hilt of his sword. The sight always makes you ill at ease.
The Queen mother sighs, smiling briefly before averting her attention from your own. An uncommon interaction on her behalf. She has never avoided your patient inspection as she does now, her confidence seemingly lacking.
Before you can pend on its appearance, her expression morphs into one of mild tranquility.
“How are you fairing?”
You are consumed in questionable silence, a frown tugging at your plush lips. Every so often she inquires about your mental health. No doubt to ensure you do not give reason to name yourself a hostage. The Reach, regardless of your marriage, has barred itself in a civil war.
Small lords and civilians alike pledge for Rhaenyra, while the mighty remain loyal to Aegon. Soldiers have been abandoning their posts to fight for her, and you do not blame them.
Though, you cannot allow them to know that. Neither can the Small Council. One word from you, even a whisper of doubt upon your station, and many will take it as a sign. One that you are certain the Greens wish to avoid.
With a small, pliant simper, you answer, “I am doing well, Queen mother. Thank you.”
“Good,” she sighs, wistfully almost, “I rarely see you anymore, with how often you are present in Aemond’s chambers.” Her laugh is as light as a bell, although forced, unsure.
As are you. In his chambers?
A/N: I am so, SO sorry for the long wait! I’ve been extremely busy with life, but I’m almost done with the chapter and thought you guys would like a snippet. I hope you enjoy!
Taglist: @slimearchon @mirandastuckinthe80s @ephemeralninon @404slayer404 @skythighs @aisling1985 @gotjonsa1 @ichanelvxgue @themartiansdaughter
#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond x reader#aemond x you#aemond x y/n#aemond targaryen#hotd aemond#aemond fic#aemond one eye#aemond the kinslayer#hotd fanfic
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1, 2, 6, 7, 37, 48, 61
(pointing at you) thats my dm. everyone clap for him RIGHT NOW
1. what drives them? what’s their ultimate goal?
oh god it has evolved in so many fun ways over time. i think reides still really values his own personal pursuit of knowledge so that's still a core goal of his. he wants to learn a ton about the world and that will never change. in many ways i think that curiosity has been his major, constant 'drive'.
but he's also learnt a lot about like. forming lasting connections with other people? like when i think about how he was prior to the campaign, he was extremely caught up in his own head. the stuff that went down with his family and him believing he was rejected / disowned / a pariah to his home compounded that a ton, too. so he gained an approach to looking at his life as like... something that belonged to himself and himself alone. i don't think he was necessary selfish but he was definitely careless / distrusting when it came to how he viewed other people. it was a freeing but really lonely mindset. now he has a lot of things outside of himself that he cares about, like, TREMENDOUSLY. he has friends in the form of the party (including past party members ofc), and those are SOLID friendships; not just fleeting kind encounters that he eventually just fluttered away from. he has aske and is in a good spot with his family / home now, too. so he's definitely not driven solely by his own quest for knowledge anymore. as corny as it is, he is absolutely powered by love too, and he wants to keep those he loves safe. that connects to his duty as a prince-slash-ambassador and makes him take it all the more seriously. like... at the end of the day, once they're safe, he's meeting his goal. if he has to face threats targeting the whole world in order to keep them safe, he'll do it.
of course, love isn't all sunshine and rainbows; it's a dangerous thing and i try to reflect that in how willing he is to approach enemies now. reides of the past would shy away from killing his enemies even if they tried to hurt his friends (especially after everything that happened with tyrian LMFAO), but now he's significantly less merciful and definitely not a pacifist. that darker side of him only comes out when prompted though. if they dont try to hurt his beloveds we're all good :)
2. what was your original concept for this character? how did playing them change that concept?
MY ORIGINAL CONCEPT WAS LITERALLY JUST 'I WANT TO PLAY A WEIRDO' then rachel showed me tritons and i was like 'I WANT TO PLAY A WEIRDO TRITON' FLGKHKFGH IT'S SO SILLY... i was also really interested in playing a high int / low wis character - even if reides is average wis-wise, i still have a lot of fun with that. originally i wanted him to be a druid but i was absolutely not willing to sacrifice my high int / low wis fantasy. now i'm on that evocation wizard grindset and i really am enjoying it a lot so i think it worked out for the best :-)
as for other changes, i was definitely really surprised by reides' growth over time... i should've known better bc Everyone Grows but when i went into dnd i was really set on him just staying mega flighty, ditzy, lalala freedom journaling studying sillaying lala... i'm just reides i'm a fun little guy there's nothing going on with me no siree i am not a runaway prince who may or may not be exiled from my isolationistic empire, whatever gave you that idea? :)! i knew some of the darker aspects of his character would eventually come to light but i didn't think he would like... change as much as he did?! like he became a lot more serious when the situation(s) surrounding him became more serious. his view of his homeland also became A MILLION TIMES more complex over time, which i really, really enjoyed (and continue to enjoy). i don't think he's like, NOT DITZY or anything now because he totally is, but he has honestly grown so much that i get emotional when i think about it. this guy who was extremely preoccupied with running away from anything that he felt threatened his personal freedom is now turning around and facing stuff with his head held high... secure in who he is and the person he wants to be... he will take his own freedom with his own two fucking hands it makes me feel all mushy :)
tying into all of that, i also went into the campaign wanting to play a mega deflective character and i tried SO HARD to stick to that LMFAOOO i think it worked out super well though because his big, impactful character moments have been extremely fulfilling to me and hopefully fun for others at the table too? so that wasn't really a change per se but i didnt expect some of the challenges that arose from it and im very happy they did. :3 reides is also still plenty deflective right now and i'm currently trying to like. re-adjust how guarded he is. bc i think he has attained a level of confidence / aptitude which is a bit at odds with that previous deflectiveness, if that. makes sense. LDFKGDFG but i'm not too worried about overthinking it because i think reides, himself, is struggling with it a bit too. it's a fun little zone to be in! :D
6. how have they changed in the last year? how about the last five years?
ok i feel like i lowkey answered this during those previous questions but YOU KNOW WHAT... to summarize, i think he cares a lot more about other people!!! he has seen a lot of shit and has experienced a whole lot of loss and that has only fed into how much love he has in his heart for the world. it's not like... an abstract love anymore, either. LIKE HE HAS SEEN A LOT OF SHIT!!! so now he wants to use his own abilities to play a role in protecting the world and the ones he loves. he also has embraced his inner chaos way more; he's not ashamed of being the storm prince, it's a title which gives him strength - and he, in turn, is more willing to muster the strength to accept his duties. he's a whole lot braver!!! and like i said before, significantly more cutthroat!!! willing to lean into his power!!!
7. there’s a magic item (or technological innovation, or special resource) made just for them—what is it?
legendary froggy boots... for splashing in puddles... ;LKFGHLFGKH NO UMM honestly i'm not sure. i feel like something that bridges his experiences on the surface with his experiences in the depths would be ideal for him... not sure what that 'something' is or what it would do per se, but just something to quell that constant 'i'm missing someone right now' feeling he tends to be plagued with LMFAO. alternatively something cool and linked to sea-storms since that's his schtick.
37. if they’ve had one, what was their first kiss like?
nothing of big note tbh! reides is absolutely not the type to care about that sort of thing. it was casual and fun; one of those fleeting little special encounters from the past... but it definitely didn't happen back when he lived in aquos LMAO it was sometime shortly after he arrived in port valor. he doesn't remember the name of the guy and he definitely didn't even tell the guy his own name. they were also probably both pleasantly drunk and caught up in some tavern wildness LMFAOOO
48. do they relate to anyone in their group? conversely, which person do they relate to the least?
ough this is a tricky one... i think he relates to everyone in the party in particular ways, though he's also very, very different from everyone as well LMAO. i/t he probably relates to ashara the most in terms of her interactions with the world - her being puzzled over how much has changed in modern times definitely reminds him of how the surface world puzzles him. he's FAAAAR from self-concious over his Sense of Wonder re: the surface, but it's still comforting to see someone else experiencing fascination over the 'mundane.' i also think he relates to erak a LOT because the two of them have a similar sense of humor / similar morals as a whole. erak came so close to getting the prince reveal AGES before anyone else in the party because reides just like... feels so seen with him, you know? it's ironic considering that erak TECHNICALLY doesn't know reides' whole deal right now but i'm sure he will someday :D
as for who he relates to the least... i think probably slumberjack wins this by default but only because neither of them were all that honest with each other during their time together. he still cares about them a lot, of course, but it's hard to relate to someone when most of what you know of them is a lie and when most of what they know about you is a lie, too. tbh, i think the regret reides feels over how All Of That went sort of fueled his like... willingness to open up to the rest of the party? he realized just how damaging having secrets can be to others and also realized just how much he cared about his friends (sj obviously included). but as i write this i feel like that means he relates to sj a SHITLOAD especially in hindsight so you know what, i have no idea who he relates to the least. HAHAHA
61. is there an in-game moment of theirs you think about and just laugh?
AAALKDFDGK I ANSWERED THIS ONE BEFORE BUT LUCKILY I HAVE A WEALTH OF THESE MOMENTS SO HERE IS ANOTHER: i loved when viglis warned him not to get any splinters in the shipwrecks near aquos and reides was like I Didn't Get That Many As A Kid!!! and viglis said that he'd have one for each finger and reides insisted that ten splinters wasn't that many. i think that moment was like SO SWEET and it was prob the first little like... sweetsibling moment that the two of them had in a LOOOONG time. it was really cathartic somehow and i remember thinking 'ok this bridge isn't burnt after all' when we rp'd it, which was super cool :)
💌 sixty-nine questions for your ttrpg characters!
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7 9 29 38, and also A and D abt cass!! <3 (also this is the not-couples ask meme if it wasn't obvi c':)
7.What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?
Cass kinda has a weird relationship to nostalgia- I think I've mentioned before that she has the Eidetic Memory merit, so time doesn't cloud the less pleasant parts of her memories, it's all fresh in her mind like the day it happened. So to them, "nostalgia" is often a sort of uneasy or uncomfortable thing, and generally specific places are most likely to trigger it- like, for example, she might have to drive past her old middle school on the way to somewhere and be like "fucked up that this is a place that still exists"
9.Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?
lmao. as evidenced above- yes Cass swears, and they do it quite a lot. They started pretty damn young too- they picked it up from their grandma, who used to vaguely keep an eye on them as a little kid since their mom couldn't afford daycare, and whose favourite word in the whole world is "fuckdamn" (or "damn fuck/fucking" or any combination thereof)
29.Do they usually live up to their own ideals?
Cass' ideological framework can be summed up with a very simple and all-encompassing "I Do What I Want." and on a nightly-basis she does a pretty good job of sticking to that. There have been more than a few egregious breaches in the past, (the life of a fledgling is not one filled with a great many choices, and neither is the life of a human child), but they do their best to leave those behind them and not dwell on it.
38.What memory do they revisit the most often?
At any given time, the memory she's going over is probably whatever is most pertinent to her job- their incredible ability to perfectly recall anything they encounter allows them to operate their business on the guarantee of "no trace left behind" both in regards to the information gathered as well as ancillary communication and records keeping (unless of course a client wishes to pay an extra fee for the acquisition of original documents) But, as far as "fond personal memories" go, probably the first time they left the apartment after their embrace. Sitting at the very top of the building's roof in the dead of night, staring out at the moon and the busy city around them, breathing air as fresh as it gets in LA even though they haven't needed to for years.
A) Why are you excited about this character?
Mostly I'm excited to just be giving them a new lease on life. I'm not usually the sort of person who will like "maintain" old ocs- like I played her, and that game ended so her story was Over, and in situations like that I rarely think about those characters much ever again. But, in Cass' case, I stumbled across her old character sheet and backstory and some of my notes from the chronicle and realized that there was still a lot of good stuff there, and a lot more good stuff that I remember wanting to include in her story that I wasn't able to at the time, and I wanted to see what she would have been like if I could have. So now, even though I'm not in any active chronicles, I get to have the fun of reinventing her to show off to all my cool vtm mutuals.
D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?
Basically the only thing that's really changed about her visually since I rebooted her was that I now imagine her as just sort of like an average weight for her height, instead of the rail-thin anime-character looking physique I drew her with when I was 12
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One of my professors said that you can distinguish your thoughts from outside sounds, and you know they're your thoughts, and he said this to make some point and like it's super obvious that everyone can easily do that. Another keeps harping on the continuity of subjective experience. Another talks about mental representation as words, phrases, as if that's the only form thoughts can take. A classmate is writing about a sensorimotor account of consciousness and part of the discourse on that is whether dreams are meaningfully different from experience, with some scholars arguing they are so different that they can't even be said to have experiential qualities.
This keeps happening - claims of universality, nay, not even claims, just the completely unquestioned certainty that something is obvious, self-evident, where I'm pretty sure it's not. It's as if people studying the mind (particularly philosophically) have never encountered an unusual mind in their life. I can't even imagine that's the case, surely philosophy students are pretty weird, on average.
Here's what I believe on those issues.
The concept of self and selfhood as the origin of internal monologue is a cultural construct. Scott writes about dissociation better than I could, so to be brief: we're imaginative animals, and we're social animals. A pretty big part of our mind is optimized to model the world as closely as possible, to make predictions, generate expectations etc. Of particular importance is modeling other people, something which (a part of) is sometimes called empathy or theory of mind, depending on which part of it you look at. Making up a guy to get mad at on the internet is not only annoying but human, and so is carrying around our loved ones in our head to have imaginary conversations with. Blorbos, especially if we are writing them ourselves, are popular imaginary friends. We don't always feel like we're answering ourselves when having conversations with them! This is pretty common! There's probably a cool multidimensional spectrum to describe to what degree made-up others feel like ourselves, and to which degree we can perceive them. And again: the point is to model them as realistically as possible, therefore, it's not weird when they feel (or sound) like real external people.
The self keeps re-constructing itself periodically, whenever memory gets flushed. Often when we wake up, but also sometimes during the day. I don't consider myself to be permanently conscious in the sense of being self-aware, and when I start being, it's like I'm taking stock of myself, what situation I'm in, who I am, what I'm doing or am about to do. When dreaming, this can include being someone else, or something else, in bizarre circumstances, without batting an eye - my sense of self adjusts immediately. It's only when critical thinking kicks in (after waking, or, rarely, when lucid dreaming), I can suddenly tell what makes no sense, because I can compare what I feel I am with what I rationally know myself to be, and that higher cognizing grants access to more information about myself and the world I live in. But disable that critical thinking, and you could put "me" in a different body, different life, different being, no issue: self-awareness takes stock and accepts whatever it finds. Nothing about "identity" is essential. No continuity necessary. You can't tell whether you're missing time, or memories, because you do, constantly, and just skip it. I feel like that sort of reset + taking stock can be externally observed in blackout drunks - that is, during the period where they are conscious and awake, but not recording memories. They "reset" every couple of minutes, whenever there's no thread, no train of thought binding one moment of awareness to the next (I have half of a post on this somewhere I should finish writing one day).
Thoughts can be verbal, but they can take on other modalities, too. Even permanent internal monologue havers aren't restricted to verbal thinking. Awareness of being hungry can take the form of the internal monologue remarking "I should eat something" or "I am hungry", but that is neither common nor all there is to the experience.
Dreams and reality are notoriously difficult to distinguish, and historically haven't commonly been, whether you look at Parmenides or Lévy-Bruhl.
This is ad-hoc spitballing, I should definitely think about this more and better and in a more awake state of mind, but I think it should be enough to reject how "self-evidently", "obviously" it's different.
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Y'know, I think Paper Mario: The Origami King is an excellent audiovisual experience. The art style is really nice, and the music is fantastic. The writing can be pretty good too. Sure, the story isn't amazing, but it certainly has its moments, and it can be incredibly funny at times. Every once in a while I consider replaying it, but then I think about the battle system and I just kinda... get sad. Because I really don't think that game's battle system is capable of sustaining an entire 25 hour long game.
I think if I had to pin it down to one main factor, it'd be that it's just not very dynamic. Once you've figured out the ring system, normal battles don't really change all that much.
And honestly? I do like the ring puzzles. I know some people don't like them at all, but I thought they were pretty fun. But you can only do those ring puzzles for so long before you go "alright what's next?" I think it's somewhat telling that this game's boss fights operate on a very different set of rules compared to the normal battle system.
Almost every normal enemy feels pretty much the same to fight. I can think of a couple exceptions (boos and cutout soldiers), but for the most part, there are very few functional differences between fighting different types of enemies. Sure some of them have more health and they have different attacks, but that doesn't matter all that much if you can often take them all out in one turn. (And to be honest, more health isn't an especially interesting difference anyway.)
Your toolset as a player doesn't change all that much either. Just about every new attack that you gain access to is either a straight upgrade to existing abilities, or a situational upgrade. Rarely do any new items actually change the way you play. When I first played through the game I thought for sure that I'd get some new attacks that hit enemies in a different formation. Maybe one that attacks all the enemies closest to Mario, or one that can hit enemies that are spaced apart. But instead they stick to the same 2x2 squares and 4-enemy lines for the whole game.
Ultimately, I don't think the battle system even feels like a battle system. There's not really any back and forth. It's just a test of your ability to line up enemies and execute action commands. There is a right answer to any given encounter. And that's kind of a shame, because I think a version of this game that isn't built around that idea could have been a lot better.
Now, obviously there are little ripples here and there. You do have to think about whether or not you want to use your limited-durability weapons. You do have to think about whether or not you want to pay coins for help. Sometimes you might arrange enemies slightly wrong, and that will mess things up. But at the end of the day, I'm not sure those minor setbacks are really substantial enough to make it feel like a proper conflict with room for strategy.
As for how to fix it? That's a tough question. I think making the game less reliant on the idea of a "perfect line up" would be a good start. That might allow for a wider variety of enemy behaviors (without complicating things too much for the average player), as well as some more attack options, while not sacrificing the core concept of the ring system.
Really even if you did still want to focus on perfect line ups you could probably offer more attack options as long as you give players enough reasons to use different attack types. Maybe have FP like the old games so that there's a bit more resource management than just coins and weapon durability. (This could even get leveled up to provide more incentives to battle.) Maybe provide players with a way to deal with "stray" enemies that don't fit the line up. There's a lot that could be done to make players feel like they have actual choices available to them.
As I said before, I think the ring puzzles are a fun idea. They just don't change all that much. And that lack of change keeps them from being able to carry the experience the whole way through.
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Cans are a matter of taste. But what about your body if you only eat Costco cans for 30 days?
People resort to extreme measures in these difficult financial times. It is becoming more difficult to buy enough food to make a balanced, well-rounded meal. But what if that is impossible? What happens then?
We are fortunate to live in an age where canned goods are readily available and cheap options are easy to find. Consuming only canned foods can have serious consequences.
Before you decide to eat Costco cans every day for 30 days, here are some things to keep in mind.
Can You Live Off Costco Cans?
Everybody is suffering. It doesn't matter if you are a CEO or an average Joe, inflation is affecting everyone.
While everyone feels the pressure, some feel it more than others. For them, rising food costs are causing severe financial problems.
Related: Tips for Food-Stretching From The Great Depression
People tend to save money by buying canned goods when trying to cut costs. Canned food is more affordable than fresh or frozen foods and it's also easier to find.
You can often get non-perishable food items like canned goods at your local food bank.
Imagine if canned foods were all you had for cooking meals. Curious, I decided to test if Costco canned foods were possible for 30 days. The results were amazing.
This small experiment can show you a lot. This experiment reveals how your thoughts can control your cravings and how nutrition can affect your body. It also demonstrates how creative thinking is a powerful tool.
Evaluation of Selection
Anyone who has ever been grocery shopping knows Costco is the best. Many shoppers are motivated by the large selection of similarly massive products at Costco.
Related to 10 Best Prepper Foods That You Can Find at Costco
Costco is a great place to shop because of its wide selection. The selection is amazing, but Costco's products are larger than any other competitor.
There are many things you can't get at Costco, even though there are plenty of options.
First, bread and rolls are not allowed on the menu. Costco may have canned bread if you're lucky. It is not comparable to the real deal and may require additional ingredients that aren't readily available.
Second, Costco's selection is amazing, but it soon becomes obvious that the meals will be boring, monotonous, and repetitive.
Costco has a large selection of canned meats, but it can still be difficult to find healthy foods.
For the next 30 days, you will be eating a lot of soups, canned meats and canned seafood for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
The First Big Fat Hurdle
You will soon encounter your first major barrier in this challenge, which is fat. If you find yourself in a situation where you are looking for ideas for meals, you'll quickly notice that many canned foods don't have the necessary calories to sustain you and your family.
Related to 10 Best Prepper Foods That You Can Find at Costco
If you want to stay healthy on Costco cans for the long-term, then you will need to choose high-nutrient, fiber, and low-fat foods.
Canned beans are great because they are healthy and rich in nutrients. Costco offers a variety of beans in cans and full-canned meals with bean-rich ingredients.
You have many options when it comes to canned chili and soups with beans. These can be great choices for getting the calories you need while satisfying your hunger.
Cans of canned goods can be worse than sugar because they are high in salt. This can quickly cause havoc to your system. Salt intake can lead to water retention, high blood pressure, thirst, and increased risk of developing heart disease.
Canning foods that are high in calories will have high salt content, which can lead to long-term health problems.
The Low Grumble Of Truth
Besides the fact that Costco cans are not healthy, you'll notice that you feel hungry. Although canned foods can fill you up, they won't last very long.
Most often, carbs and sides are what keep us full and happy.
These carbs are often absent from canned foods, and even when they do exist (such as in canned beef and potato soup), they are heavily processed for preservation and are full of chemicals.
Cans are processed to make canned food more filling. However, canned foods will not keep you full for as long as a healthy and balanced meal.
Creativity is a lot
The most important thing I learned while preparing for this challenge and attempting to complete it was how creative my creativity could play a part in my success.
When your options for meals are limited to canned foods that you can buy at Costco, it is important to think outside the box.
Although the large selection is helpful, it can still be quite difficult.
It is easier to find canned potatoes and rice, but these can get old quickly.
You quickly find that your meals are a means to an ending rather than a pleasure.
You will not want to eat canned soup or vegetables again after 30 days. Without creativity, desserts can be bland without much trial and error.
If you try to live off Costco cans, you will find yourself hungry more often than not. I advise you to plan your meals .
The Best Options for Success
There are better options than living off Costco cans if you find yourself in this situation.
Foods that are high in nutrients and calories will be preferred. It is important to have a wide variety of food options, because even after 30 days, your meals can become monotonous.
To help you get through this time, I'll suggest some options, especially if things get tedious.
For Protein And Calories:
Sausages:Canned Sausages are a great way to fill up your stomach and get some calories.
They aren't always the most delicious to eat, but they can be made semi-edible by being fried with spices.
Related to How To Make and Can Vienna Sausages (2 Year Shelf Life)
Tuna and sardines and other canned fish: Although fish is very lean, they provide energy and fill your stomach. Tuna can be a great way to curb hunger in emergencies and I keep a can of it on hand.
Caned turkey, beef, and ham:These meats, like fish, tend to be less fatty when canned. They are great for quick and filling meals that still provide a lot of calories.
Beans If there's one canned food you should always keep in your pantry, it's beans. These little morsels can last you a lot longer than your imagination. Beans are a great source of protein, fiber and are super filling.
Chickpeas Although not the most well-known food, chickpeas can be a great way to get nutrition and satisfy your hunger quickly. Chickpeas are bland to me. They can be combined with other foods to increase protein and fiber.
Canned Vegetables -
Canned Mushrooms:Canned mushroom can be used to spice up a basic meal or provide nutrients. They can also be used as meal replacements and are rich in protein and phosphors.
Corn and peas, green beans and carrots:Canned vegetables provide vital nutrients, even though they may not be as nutritious as fresh or frozen.
Sometimes, nutrients are added to the production process. This makes them an excellent option to keep on hand.
Potatoes When you can't live on Costco cans for 30 consecutive days, canned potatoes are your best friend Canned potatoes can be a great way to fill up your stomach. Canned potatoes can provide you with the energy you need in times of crisis. Keep a few cans handy.
Canned Fruit Options
Peaches Much like fresh peaches, canned peaches are rich in nutrients. They are delicious and provide you with the energy you need to get you through the day.
Pineapple Caned pineapple is high in sugar but provides nutrition and fills you up. Pineapple can also be a source for fiber and aids in digestion. It promotes weight loss and healing. A can of pineapple is a good option.
PearsEating canned pear provides Vitamin B which lowers blood pressure.
They are also rich in glycosides, tannic acid and other nutrients that can help relieve the symptoms of coughing. Canned pears contain a lot of sugar, but they are full of vitamins. They are easy to absorb by the body and promote liver health.
CherriesFresh cherry are high in nutrients and aid in inflammation, sleep improvement, joint health, and support joint health. Although canned cherries may not have the same benefits as fresh cherries, and contain more sugar than fresh ones, they can still be enjoyed as a sweet treat and can provide additional calories.
Tomatoes Yes, they are considered to be a fruit.
Canned tomatoes are a common pantry item, and with good reason.
Canned tomatoes are great for any dish and offer many health benefits.
Similar: Making Simple Tomato Sauce From Fresh Tomatoes and Peppers
If you are unable to live on Costco cans for more than 30 days, there are other options.
A can of soup or chili will fill your stomach. These foods are high-salt. Consuming these foods in excess can cause long-term health problems. They are still essential and something you should always have. I ensured that I had enough rice, soup, chili, pasta, and pasta.
You will need to keep a few more items in your pantry in order to do this experiment. These are the items I recommend you keep in your pantry. They can be used to make better meals with canned goods such as condensed milk and sauces.
What to Expect and What to Eat
It isn't a lifestyle that I would choose to live on Costco cans. This experiment proves that it is possible. Costco offers a wide range of canned foods.
Related to 7 Mistakes When You Buy Canned Foods
If you don't plan and aren't creative, your meals can become boring and repetitive. You can still make some decently satisfying meals with little effort.
Here is an example of meal planning that you can use for this experiment. You will have to be creative and willing to experiment with different options depending on where you live and what your budget is. However, great meals can be made from Costco cans.
Breakfast
Because you can't buy canned cereal, breakfast is the hardest meal to plan. My family doesn't eat breakfast very often and we skip it a lot. It is a bad habit, I know. But it is true.
In my case, this meant that I could get by on minimal effort. A good breakfast is still essential. Here are some choices: fruit salad, baked beans and sausages, and fried bean breakfast wraps.
Lunch
Lunch can be quite challenging and repetitive. There are only so many options if you don't have bread.
= Building a Hidden Food Growing Fence in Your Backyard
You can still eat satisfying lunches, if you think creatively. Let's take a look at some examples: Steak and Potato Soup, Tuna Salad with a Fruit Salad Dessert, Caned Ravioli with a Pudding Dessert.
Dinner
Even with the best of circumstances, dinner can be difficult. Canning only makes it more complicated. Although my recipes are not the most healthy, they are still filling and effective. You don't have to stick to Costco cans if you want to be creative.
Chili followed by a fruit dessert. Canned chili can be your go-to meal if you only eat Costco cans. Costco stores have many chili choices, so you will likely try each brand at least twice during your 30 day trial.
Stir-fry with chicken, rice and vegetables: I use the term stir-fry lightly here. This is a meal that includes a can each of chicken and rice.
The meal isn't very flavorful, but it fills the stomach and is not too expensive. If you are looking to make more meaningful meals, I recommend you get more spices.
A meal of beef, potatoes, and vegetables with gravy: It can be quite interesting. It will however be very mushy, and not have the same density as potatoes.
Similar: Canning Mormon Beans for Long-Term Preservation
This meal is nutritious and filling once you get past the baby food texture. If you're lucky enough to find canned mousse or canned pudding at Costco, you can enjoy a sweet treat.
Cans of canned meals lack texture. Many canned meals are soft and mushy. In many cases, the flavors are also lacking. There are some delicious soups that can make it easier for the palate.
Last Thoughts
You now know the answer to your question if you consume only Costco cans for 30 consecutive days.
You will eat more salt and sugar, and your meals will become dull and repetitive. Also, you will quickly forget what flavor tastes like.
It is possible with creativity and determination. It doesn't mean you should do it if it is not possible. You will know there is an option if you are in this situation.
What could you make if you only had canned food? Your ideas are welcome.
Also, you might like:
You may not be allowed to use self-defense weapons in your state. Are You Using One of These Weapons?
Watch This Video To Learn How To Make A 5 Year Food Stockpile
How to Deal with Unusual Garden Invaders
The 3500-Year-Old Powerful and Natural Cure Found In The Bible Treats Many Diseases
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Hw5
Making my design more accessible
My idea/plan is to create a game and making a game more accessible to people is something developers would always like to have in mind. Normally to sell it to as many as possible but I’m sure at least some do it to be more inclusive. Video games come in such a variety that each has its own specific audience. My goal is to have it as a casual easy going environment in game. So that people who haven't played video games before and people who are familiar with them can play with little to no issues. The game will display what is needed, so sound will never be a necessity in trying to comprehend what to do. Basic hardware would be able to run it so no need for the latest more expensive devices. This design plan keeps things in at a base that will allow a significant amount of people to try the game and with little issues. If I had any budget or team and more experience I would want to include voice direction as well for people who aren't able to see what to do.
Feature list
Signs that tell you the general information
Easy access
Helping others
Rpg look
Brandon A.
Would you help a member of your neighborhood if they are in need? No
How often do you take things you have different media into consideration in the real world? Often, it depends on the situation. For example I;’m not gonna start killing and robbing because I played grand theft auto.
What are some average day to day problems that you encounter on a regular basis? Lack of food, problematic wifi, Lack of sufficient funds, Cramped space due to number of family members and living arrangements, Problematic public transportation, troubled neighborhood
How often does someone in your neighborhood lend you a helping hand? Barely to never, once in a blue moon
Do you often help others? I do my best to help the people he cares about
Does your current mood or events of the day impact your decisions with others that have nothing to do with them? Yes, I treat others how they treat me so regardless of my situation I’ll treat them fairly
What are things you do to escape from reality? Plays video games with friends, goes to the park to lie down to music, and the gym.
Do you feel a strong sense of community? Friend community : Yes Family : somewhat (certain members) Neighborhood : none
What kind of games to you enjoy playing Rpgs, shooters, party games, and gachas
When helping others what do you think while tackling the situation? To make any sort of progress, any step forward is better than none.
How often do you ask others for help or input on things and how do you view asking another for such things. Rarely asks others for help, feels like he should do it more.
What do you tend to do during your spare time? Takes walks outside
Are you a person that enjoys video games and if you are what kind of genres? Specific type of genres
When watching a show, movie, or playing a game what aspects of the story are most important to you? The development of the characters and how they tackle each situation.
Justin B.
Would you help a member of your neighborhood if they are in need? Yes, helped a little girl just the other day
How often do you take things you have different media into consideration in the real world? Never, I formulate my own thoughts on things based of experience
What are some average day to day problems that you encounter on a regular basis? Has to do all the family tasks as he is the most capable person in the house, Dealing with assmia, gacha games
How often does someone in your neighborhood lend you a helping hand? No, never in fact
Do you often help others? Never as the environment I’m in doesn't exactly help it much without receiving something in return
Does your current mood or events of the day impact your decisions with others that have nothing to do with them? No, regardless of mood I don’t lash out on others that have nothing to do with it and act as I usually would.
What are things you do to escape from reality? I hangout with my friends, regardless of what we're doing we always manage to have a fun time.
Do you feel a strong sense of community? Friends Yes, Family: Yes, Neighborhood: No
What kind of games do you enjoy playing? Fighting games, rpgs, action/adventure, shooters, etc
When helping others what do you think while tackling the situation? “Let’s see how it goes” is the mindset I have. I can never promise anything other than I'll do my best to help.
How often do you ask others for help or input on things and how do you view asking another for such things. I try not to ask for help for the most part, only with people I trust and when I do I usually get helpful input back.
What do you tend to do during your spare time? Naps, lost of sleep any chance I get.
Are you a person that enjoys video games and if you are what kind of genres? I enjoy all video games as a whole
When watching a show, movie, or playing a game what aspects of the story are most important to you? The character that dies or is removed from the story first to see the impact it has on the rest of the characters and what the loss does to the world as a whole.
Kevin R.
Would you help a member of your neighborhood if they are in need? Depending on who, there are some people I would, some I would not.
How often do you take things you have different midea into consideration in the real world? Often, I quote like a plague from shows and movies I really like
What are some average day to day problems that you encounter on a regular basis? Schoolwork, and my job as they call upon me the most
How often does someone in your neighborhood lend you a helping hand? Never
Do you often help others? Sometimes, like I help people at work when I don’t need to if that counts.
Does your current mood or events of the day impact your decisions with others that have nothing to do with them? Yes, depending on my mood it does affect how I treat others for better or for worse.
What are things you do to escape from reality? Play soccer, make cappuccinos, video games
Do you feel a strong sense of community? Friends : yes, Family: yes, Neighborhood: no
What kind of games do you enjoy playing? Fifa and Call of duty
When helping others what do you think while tackling the situation? “Let me do my good dead for the day”
How often do you ask others for help or input on things and how do you view asking another for such things. Barely, only as a last
What to do you tend to do during your spare time
Are you a person that enjoys video games and if you are what kind of genres? Sports and shooters. I played soccer when I was little so I play a lot of fifa.
When watching a show, movie, or playing a game what aspects of the story are most important to you? The villain, I like a compelling story on how a person ended up as bad as they did and why there doing what there doing, how they rationalize it
Stephen S.
Would you help a member of your neighborhood if they are in need? Yes, I have and will
How often do you take things you have different media into consideration in the real world? Never, I never take things from media to heart as I feel it’s better to form your own opinions
What are some average day to day problems that you encounter on a regular basis? Lack of college friends, feels lonely on campus, lack of free time to due work and school,
How often does someone in your neighborhood lend you a helping hand? Never, all the people around me are elderly so I’m usually the one helping them
Do you often help others? Yes, when they ask. I don’t usually go out of my way.
Does your current mood or events of the day impact your decisions with others that have nothing to do with them? Yes, my mood will affect how I treat people. It’s a reaction that most of the time I don’t notice until it’s too late.
What are things you do to escape from reality? Video games, going out with friends, and playing basketball at the park.
Do you feel a strong sense of community? Family: yes, Friends: No, Neighborhood: No
What kind of games do you enjoy playing? Story games, single player games, some shooters, fightings, Rockstar games
When helping others what do you think while tackling the situation? How to help them in the most efficient way possible. So that they won’t need to ask help for that sort of problem again.
How often do you ask others for help or input on things and how do you view asking another for such things. I don’t ask for help ever and it's to the point where I put myself in bad situations because of it. Asking for help is a sign of weakness to me even though I know it's a bad reason.
What do you tend to do during your spare time? Homework, I try to get it done whenever I can, besides that I play videogames.
Are you a person that enjoys video games and if you are what kind of genres?I enjoy all kinds of games except puzzle games. I play games to unwind not really for a brain teaser to get me thinking.
When watching a show, movie, or playing a game what aspects of the story are most important to you? My most important part to me is how the character progresses in the story. How the journey they go on changes them. How are they different from the start compared to the end? Where did their choices lead them? That kind of stuff.
Kamal M.
Would you help a member of your neighborhood if they are in need? No
How often do you take things you have different media into consideration in the real world? Never, I make my own decision. I can be inspired or influenced slightly by messages I believe in but I never take anything one to one.
What are some average day to day problems that you encounter on a regular basis? My family as my siblings are pretty unreliable and I have to take care of my mom. I live in a pretty dangerous neighborhood, I live pretty careful with money, body pains and issues.
How often does someone in your neighborhood lend you a helping hand? Never, as I mentioned before, my neighborhood is not the best so I never really receive any help.
Do you often help others? I try to when I can
Does your current mood or events of the day impact your decisions with others that have nothing to do with them? No, when people have nothing to do with the cause of my mood then I treat them like normal. If I’m in a good mood I do ten to be nicer of course
What are things you do to escape from reality? Video games and sleeping
Do you feel a strong sense of community? Family: Mostly, just a few bad apples, Friends: yes, Neighborhood: No
What kind of games do you enjoy playing Fighting games, and yugioh because I grew up with it. I actually enjoy spectating my friends when they play games.
When helping others what do you think while tackling the situation? “I do what I had to do” I don’t think much of it I just help get done what needs to get done as long as I don’t hate them
How often do you ask others for help or input on things and how do you view asking another for such things. No, I usually keep to myself with problems. If it’s a small annoying thing like carrying a heavy object then sure. If not then I don’t ask much.
What to do you tend to do during your spare time
Are you a person that enjoys video games and if you are what kind of genres?
When watching a show, movie, or playing a game what aspects of the story are most important to you? The climax, everything leads up to it and its the apex of the story. So I always look forward to seeing the plot points clash.
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How I started reading Chinese novels
I think we all know just how hard it is to get started reading native content in our target languages. For the longest time, I thought reading Chinese novels was an unachievable goal. Every time I opened one up I was just overwhelmed with unknown vocab. So what changed?
Well, I kinda put myself in a situation where I had to read a novel or else. That’s to say, I took a Chinese lit class at college where we read two novels and three short stories. At the same time I was also taking a half-credit class where we read small parts of the 三体 trilogy. So, my only options were to read or fail.
The two novels I had to read were 《在细雨中呼喊》 by 余华 and 《家变》 by 王文兴. 《在细雨中呼喊》 was up first, and I decided to do something that I actually wouldn’t really recommend y’all do: I made a spreadsheet of every new word I encountered. Every. Single. One. You might remember I made a post about that last year once I’d finished the book. If you’re curious about the exact details of what I did, I suggest you check that post out. Here’s a screenshot of the spreadsheet:
So lemme just reiterate: I absolutely do not recommend doing this^^^ unless you a) are only planning on reading like a page or two a day, or b) love suffering and pain and misery and crying. I know I definitely stress-cried a few times while reading this novel.
Anyways. I did this for two reasons: 1. I wanted an accessible list of the new words I encountered, and 2. I wanted to track how many pages I read and new words I encountered each day. It was super time consuming, but also really satisfying because I was able to see the number of new words decrease as the days went on. The first day, I read 8 pages and had ~200 new words. By the end, I was averaging 7 new words per page. It was cool to see the progress, but it was a pain in the ass to document so. Decide for yourself if you wanna put yourself through this.
However, not everyone has access to a college-level literature class in their target language. So here’s some methods that have worked for me when reading outside of class:
Give yourself a deadline: I actually had to read the entirety of 《在细雨中呼喊》before the class started, so I had to somehow finish a Chinese novel in my spare time between work and my other classes. Meaning, I had a deadline. So I crunched the numbers and knew I needed to read ~10 pages a day if I wanted to finish on time. I challenged myself to read that many pages each day. It was really slow, and sometimes kinda painful, but by the end of the novel I was actually reading ~15 pages a day! If you’re ADHD like me, then a self-imposed deadline can be hard to stick to. In this case, I’d get an outside party involved to keep you motivated, like a friend, classmate, parent, anyone really. As long as I know someone else is expecting me to finish this goal, then I’m way more motivated than I would be otherwise.
Make it a challenge: I am fairly competitive at times, so I try to use this to my advantage. So, for example, if there’s some sort of reading challenge going on somewhere (like Hacking Chinese’s monthly challenge. it’s not always a reading challenge, but it’s still a great resource) then I’ll try to participate. What I really like about the HC challenges is there’s a graph where you can see your progress compared to what your goal progress is (screenshot below) I like to feel like I’m competing against someone else, but I don’t actually track if I’m “winning” or anything. If you don’t want to compete with other people, just compete with yourself. Set a goal and try to do better than that, or try to beat a past goal that you already completed. *However, don’t take it too seriously. If you don’t “win” then that’s okay too. Life happens and shit gets in the way, and we need to be kind to ourselves too.*
(grrrr the numbering is all fucked up now)
Choose a book you’ll like: I’d argue that this is the most important thing on this list. If you’re trying to read something in your TL but don’t like it, then it’ll be hard to find the motivation to keep reading. One of the easiest ways to find a book you’ll like is to just check and see if a book you like in your native language has been translated into your target language. I see a lot of people read The Little Prince and Harry Potter in their target languages, so those seem like good places to start. Or, you could ask friends for suggestions. You can ask other language learners what books they’ve read and liked. If you have native speaker friends, they can either recommend books they personally enjoyed, or maybe let you know what books are popular in their country. Assuming you aren’t yet comfortable browsing through websites in your TL, Google is also a helpful tool. If you google “[target language] [genre] novels” then you can probably find some books that might fit your taste. So, if you like crime novels you can try searching “Chinese crime novels”.
Try manga/comics: If a full novel is too overwhelming, try manga. There’s less text plus images, so it helps with comprehension. A lot of novels might also have manga versions, not to mention a lot of popular Japanese manga have been translated into many different languages. I know reading manga definitely helped me improve my ability to read longer texts. Also, I’m not sure about other languages, but it’s super easy to find manga translated into Chinese online for free. Just Google the manga’s Chinese title plus 漫画 and you can probably find it.
Make it a routine: Try to read a little bit every day if you can. Even if it’s just one paragraph, that’s still good. Last year, I started reading Chinese manga every day. I started doing it as a way to study with easier material every day. As time passed, this slowly just became a routine for me, and it’s now something I do because I enjoy it rather than just for studying. Also, since I started working, I’ve been using my commute time to read in Chinese. This has also become a routine to me, and I can’t imagine not reading while riding the train.
Don’t be afraid of giving up: So, I know giving up is usually considered akin to failing by many people, but lemme just say this: if you try reading a novel in your TL and decide it’s too much for you, it’s okay to give up. You shouldn’t overwhelm yourself too much, and giving up isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s better to give up than it is to push yourself to keep going. So, if you’re struggling and don’t think you can keep going, just stop and remember that you can always come back to whatever it is when you feel ready. I know I’ve given up on books before, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In the end, it’s all about figuring out what works best for you, and what you’re most comfortable with. Everyone learns at a different pace, so you shouldn’t feel pressured to follow what someone else is doing. It’s also important to remember that different authors have different writing styles, and that can make things more difficult at times. I’ve found authors like 余华 and 巴金 have more simple styles, while 郑执 and 黎紫书 were really hard for me to get through because they use a lot of dialect. (also, if you think a book is super boring, I personally think it’s better to give up in that case. Life is too short to waste on books you don’t like)
So, starting to read native content is always a really tough hurdle to clear now matter how advanced you are. There’s a lot to consider when choosing material, so I’d strongly advise against just choosing a random book. At the end of the day thought, I’d say the tl;dr is this:
choose a book you’ll enjoy
set a tangible goal/deadline
be kind to yourself
Language learning is a long journey full of a lot of ups and downs, and it’s most certainly not a competition, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you’re not quite ready to read a novel in your target language. Reading should be fun! So don’t compare yourself to other learners and just do what you think you can handle!
加油！
#langblr#mandarin langblr#chinese langblr#tongueblr#polyglot#mandarin chinese#learn mandarin chinese#learn chinese#mine#tips#sorry if this post doesn't make much sense#i'm just kinda going off the cuff here#idk if anyone will find this useful but whatever
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Fun fact: demon slayer starts in 1912 and ends in 1927(or at least that's when the Tashio era ends). Using that math Tanjiro (as long as he kept his health good) would very well be alive today at the ripe age of like 78 if my math is correct since he started as 13 in the series. (My math probably wrong asf)
Power imbalance, power bottom reader, knife play, blood but not blood play...
He hated you.
Your very being irked him more than anything he'd ever experienced in all his centuries of living. You were clumsy, boisterous, and played that arrogant music all throughout your home while walking around half naked. Well in Muzan's opinion you were half naked, he couldn't even begin to describe his disbelief at the trend of exposing skin.
It didn't help that you had that insignificant filth running through your veins. At first he was unsure, after all this was a completely different country than Japan, not to mention your darker skin and coiled hair. But no, he could smell and recognise the Kamado blood running through your veins just as strongly as it had run through all your ancestors.
Completely undiluted.
At the very beginning when you first moved in, you came to his home. Knocking aggressively on his front door already getting off to the wrong start. When he opened it, you slipped past him and walked into his living room barely even saying hello as you put poorly decorated sugar cookies on his obsidian coffee table. "This is a nice place you got here Mj."
Muzan's eyes twitched, that joke had long since gotten old since he moved to America.
Now that you were closer he could definitely smell, the century old stench of rivaling bloodlust simmered just below your onyx skin. At any moment he expected you to attack him in some way or form. "Anyways I'm here to say hello neighbor, my name is Y/n and I'm your new best friend!"
Your happy attitude also agitated him to no end. Even though the knowledge of demons had dwindled down to only a few select families, even basic humans were wary of him as their baser instincts made them aware of his dangerous origins. This fact had long since forced Muzan to only prey on the elderly to survive. You had stayed a bit longer babbling about some nonsense that Muzan never acknowledged as he watched you from a good distance.
"You know you really got to add more to your wardrobe than 1963 suits." You walked from the back of his home, an area that he didn't even notice you wandered to. Finally getting bored, you open his door bidding your farewells.
Just before leaving you stop and with a cheeky grin say, "If you ever need anything just come on over. We Kamado's are known for our kindness."
Since then he'd been on edge around you. The point of relocating was for him to keep a low profile but now it seems he'd have to come face to face with an old nemesis reborn.
Muzan snapped out of his thoughts with a flinch as he pierced his hand with his nail. He watches the dark blood well up from the wound and drip down his wrist. In the end this world had long since lost its hostility dwindling the average human incapable of basic combat. Giving you were no doubt a great descendant, Muzan failed to see you as a true threat.
But one can never be too sure
🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢
You heard a knock on your door, soft and hesitant. "I don't think I'm expecting company." You checked your watch and peered out of a nearby window. It was at least 8 at night, you were braless wearing sweats with a red T-Shirt and on your way to bed. In the back of your mind you visualize your two grand-uncles Inosuke and Zenitsu coming over to make you spectate their fights. For two old dudes they still had enough strength in them to do hip breaking nonsense.
You open the door shocked to see your next door neighbor standing before you. For once he wasn't wearing a suit that cost more than your house. His attire was still expensively dressed but in a more casual sense, that being a black dress shirt and slacks. His sleeves were rolled up displaying his pale skin. "Can I come in?" A dazzling smile you had never seen before practically blinds you as he walks past you into your home.
When Muzan walks in his eyes immediately dart to the clear as day Nichirin Blade sword displayed recklessly on your living room wall above your couch. "You like it?" A hand on his shoulder makes him jump, "Got it from my grandpa, he says it's really special but I feel like he's exaggerating. You know how old people are." Muzan shakes out of his stupor. "I don't quite understand what you mean by that, however I do know that it's much more wise to listen to your elders than ignoring…..It could save your life."
Muzan replicates you and puts a hand on your shoulder gently squeezing. This was it, he'd go in for the kill and it would be over, the amount of blood he'd pump into you would be enough to watch you meet a satisfying end of combustion completely untraceable if the police were to get involved. How he wishes he'd be there when your poor grandfather walks along your remains splattered on every surface in your living room. Unable to do a thing as he's finally in his last stretch of life.
The beauty.
Muzan's finger only twitches in the slightest before pain sparks from his own neck. "The thought of you coming into my own home unprovoked and at night no less, was the most obvious sign one could ask more." You had his hand gripped so tight your veins popped while your other hand held a small pocket knife that burned brighter than any Nichirin sword he'd ever encountered. He didn't understand, he was quick enough to kill even the best of the ancient Hiroshima. So how did a little foreign girl like you get the upper hand?
It was embarrassing and almost laughable if any of his pillars were alive to tell the tale.
You press the blade harder before bringing your other hand to caress Muzan's cheek, "Did you think I'd be just an ignorant descendant of an infamous hero?" You clicked your teeth disappointingly. "How naive, you've really become lazy after all these millennia huh?" You walk forward, pushing Muzan back with seductive strength. He allows you to push him into your couch, I say allow because at any time he could have stopped you.
Muzan is most definitely not holding me at gunpoint right now.
The knife never wavers even as you climb into Muzan's lap, pressing it even closer against his jugular. "You do know getting beheaded will not kill me, and I doubt this petty little kitchen knife will get the job done in the first place." Your lips draw into a smirk and you press the knife closer as you trail it down his chest, "That may be true but it's gonna take one hell of a time for you to grow back." Your hand jerks down, popping his shirt buttons open.
Muzan watches with interest, your eyes light up as more skin becomes exposed. The tones of your dark skin contrast strikingly as you caress his pectoral with the tips of your fingers. "For a 1,000 year old grandpa you look decent." Still threatening his life with your blade, you kiss him. It's deep and carnal. Your lustful desires being made known as you grind in his lap. The flesh of your ass snuggly hotdogs the forming outline of his cock. "I've always wanted to be with a demon. You've had to of become a real freak after living this long!"
When you pull away Muzan's thin lips are pink and a bit swollen. He is out of breath despite needing none, "You have a lot of nerve for a mere human." With your free hand you loosen the belt of his slacks, only standing to pull them off, pleased when Muzan voluntarily raises his hips to aid you.
Don't get him wrong, he was still planning on killing you and ending your wretched bloodline once and for all, he just needed his mind to clear itself. Your scent, your confidence, strung him along like a puppet. His hands grip onto your ass cheeks like a lifeline. Molding them between his fingers, even giving them a shake through your sweats. His nails elongate and puncture the thick fabric as if it was nothing more than a spider web.
Your sweats are tugged off completely leaving your lower half nude. Muzan moves his hands to hold your ass again but your blade politely makes itself known. You are out of breath and clearly flustered. "Watch yourself, demon, I'm the one calling the shots, don't forget that." Muzan bites his tongue with sharp glare. He raises his hands in surrender, "Of course."
Muzan can feel your wetness against his leg and it's driving him insane. "Hey…" red eyes refocus on yours, "You ain't got any diseases do you? And you can't get me pregnant right?" Muzan smirks hands enclosing around your ass despite your protest. "I can, however it will cost a lot more than doing it once." The odds didn't seem in your favor but you were in no position to stand down and grab a condom and Muzan knew it.
You curve the blade towards his chin, "If you are lying and give me some ancient unknown disease or I find out you have superman sperm, I will kill you." Muzan links his lips, "Wasn't that the plan from the beginning or have you had a moment of level headedness?" Your wrist is quick and precise, cutting a thin slash along his jawline., not enough to scar and it barely even bled, but the threat was clear.
You grab Muzan's dick and use your thumb to attack the underside with fast strokes. Said man doesn't react outwardly, the only sign being his eyelids lowering by a fraction. "Were you always this well endowed or did you adjust this part too?" Muzan was not amused by your insinuation. Deciding to once again display the true power imbalance this situation had, he loops his arms underneath your large thighs and lifts you just enough to thrust his cock against your hole.
From there he let's go, making you plop down on his length, making you yelp and allowing him to lean back with a relaxed sigh. You were so warm and tight. Now even though I explained what had happened with great detail, keep in mind that in reality it all happened within a fraction of a second.
Your large and in charge persona was cracking. You gripped Muzan's sides tightly as your pussy spasmed around his girth. "F-Fuck it's too….." you trail off not wanting to give Muzan the credit he was truly due.
It takes a few moments for you to get your bearings all the while Muzan and his dangerous jaw swayed in the crevice of your neck. A viper playing with its prey. The blade is back against his neck once again making his cock twitch. If he were human this would be a dangerous feat. Your grip never slacked nor lessened against his neck, slicing into a growing wound that dropped dark blood down his chest and to his abdomen.
His dick stretched your pussy and made it weap on each downstroke. Muzan's hands grip onto the cheeks of your ass with gritted teeth. Your insides gripped him ever so slightly. Sucking him back in as if he belonged there. He felt used and it felt good. His black ringlets stuck to his face from sweat and his red eyes grew in intensity.
He couldn't see much of your body, hell he could barely even touch. In the back of his mind humorous thoughts such as how he knew Tanjiro would lose his sanity if he knew his granddaughter was being bedded by the man he despised. But the more you bounced, the more you squeezed, the deeper you cut into his neck proved that you were truly the one in charge.
"Oh God you're so deep!" Your deep almond eyes shut themselves with pleasure. Muzan could feel your legs shaking with exertion at the same rhythm your pussy twitched. His balls felt tight after having no action in over a dozen years. "F-Faster." He has no care for your blade, only wanting to cum and feel the sweet ecstasy he knew your creamed pussy would provide. "Come on human, go faster." Muzan locks lips with you, gaze hardened and intent on proving some sort of point.
Tossing the knife you wrap your arms around his neck pulling his head closer. Red eyes target brown ones as his hands take a stronger grip on your ass. He uses his strength to bounce you. The sound of his balls slapping against the curve of your ass is just as disgusting as it is sexy. Your nipples rub against his through your tank-top making you both moan. The feeling blood stains your shirt making you shiver from the cool wetness
The couch you rest on bangs against the wall behind you the faster you both go. Muzan's feet are planted firmly in the ground, his fangs further elongated. He looks feral and it is in this moment where you get a glimpse of the horror many people felt when he took their lives. "Focus little Kamado, you wouldn't want to disappoint me now would you?"
Muzan's hips meet yours, spreading the tempo. Your juices coat his lap before finally you tense up completely into a cramp inducing stance as Muzan impaled you on his cock one last time. "Ahh.." Muzan empties himself within you with a relieved sigh.
Maybe the Kamado bloodline could go on.
#blackreader#black y/n#demon slayer smut#muzan x reader#anime smut#muzan smut#muzan x black reader#demon slayer x black reader
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day 1: "bound"
Essek cannot, in honesty, say that he is paying attentiong to anything being said right now. He should be—this is his trial, after all, his death sentence, the axe finally starting to fall—but he isn’t. He’s made his confession, did all he could to exonerate anyone who might be caught in the crossfire, offered the names of his co-conspirators. There is no defense to offer that the Bright Queen would consider worth hearing.
Indeed, laying it all out again has reminded Essek that I am a selfish and overcurious man, and thought nothing of it is not exactly an exculpatory defense, even if she did hear it.
So, Essek feels that his involvement here is complete, is the truth. All he has left to do at this trial is still be sitting bound and compliant in the accused’s seat when they sentence him to die, and he can do that without listening.
On a strictly professional level, he finds that he’s impressed with the efficiency of his arrest. He estimates that it’s probably no later than five hours past noon. He was called to an emergency meeting at the palace perhaps six hours ago. In that time, he has been accused of treason, thoroughly countered in an escape attempt, stripped of all spell components or possible weapons, and brought to the throne room to face the Bright Queen’s justice. Quana Kryn, the Dusk Captain of so many lifetimes, is no fool—she did all her work in secret, and only arranged for his arrest when she was sure that her case was beyond reproach.
She did her work well, Essek is obliged to admit, if only in the privacy of his own thoughts. And anything that she didn’t already know, he told them himself, under the strongest truth magic the clerics of the Luxon could muster. He had worked alone, after all. His confession meant that Verin, that the Nein, could walk free, and he freely admitted as much when his willingness to talk became the subject of question.
The Bright Queen had given him a look of cool, weary disappointment, and remarked that it was a shame he had come to loyalty so late. He had said frankly that he agreed, and that was the last they had asked of him.
And since then, he hasn’t been listening.
Instead, he is thinking. Not about magic, nor even really about saving himself. Essek has been living on borrowed time since the moment he walked out with a Beacon in hand, and he’s known it. He wants to live, but this feels—inevitable. This feels like it’s already over, and Essek is only dreaming this trial, these chains, and this sentence. So his mind wanders, and he’s surprised to find that there are more fond places in his memory than others, these days.
He’s thinking about the new cat that Caleb recently adopted, a scrawny gray-and-black kitten that Caleb coaxed with scraps for a week until it trusted him enough to be touched and taken inside off the street.
He’s thinking about how Caleb promised Luc that he could name it, next time the Brenattos visited Rexxentrum.
He’s thinking about Fjord and Jester making port in Nicodranas in a month, and Beau breaking into their study to sit on Caleb’s desk with Urana, the dainty black cat Essek brought Caleb two years ago, in her lap, just to tell them that they were going to teleport everyone to the Chateau for dinner.
He’s thinking about sunlight, strangely, and the way it glows on Caleb’s hair, makes the freckles on his eternally windburned cheeks bright on his skin, turns his blue eyes piercing and warm. Sunlight speaks with a Zemnian accent, in Essek’s life, and he might be the first drow in a long time to wish he was going to see it again before he dies.
Essek is so absorbed in his own thoughts, in refusing to listen to the voices deciding on the method of his death in favor of the memories of other voices, full of joy and exasperation and playful outrage and affection, that at first he assumes he’s imagining the words in his ear.
“Heeeeeeey, Essek, it’s me,” Jester chirps, and he can picture her sitting on the rail of the ship, kicking her feet and making Fjord count for her. “Just wanted to say hi, ummmm, we saw a whale yesterday that could have swallowed us whole! Let me know how—”
Essek almost curses himself aloud for not having thought of this.
Jester doesn’t Send to him every day, not all the time. Maybe one in three, on average. Sometimes she’ll go a week without Sending at all, and other times—usually when they’re becalmed somewhere and she’s bored—he’ll get three messages a day. She’s charmingly blasé about relative times, between the Lucidian and their landbound homes, or at least, Essek reminds himself that it’s charming when she wakes him up from a deep sleep. He had no way of knowing that she would Send to him here, now, and now she has, and he has no idea what to do.
Essek needs to answer her, though.
The reality of his situation—it doesn’t set in, all at once, abruptly. He’s been well aware of the reality of his situation for some time now. But the reality of this aspect, this unforeseen complication, comes home immediately.
If Essek doesn’t answer her, Jester will assume something is wrong. If she assumes something is wrong, she will either hammer him with Sendings until he responds, or, more likely, go directly to Caleb and demand his help in reaching Essek. He loves his friends desperately, but they have never encountered the idea of a half-measure, and he doubts the feeble protection offered by his confession will keep them from being apprehended as traitors if they actually come and try to rescue him.
If Essek had more time to think, he might take a moment to bask in the warmth of being a person whose friends might try to rescue him. But he doesn’t have time, and he doesn’t have the luxury of letting this slide.
He can’t risk them.
Essek raises both his bound hands and scratches at his brow, hiding his mouth.
“I’m sorry, Jester, I’m in a meeting,” he murmurs, so quietly he can barely hear himself. He keeps his voice as calm and matter-of-fact as possible, just like the times when she really has interrupted a council meeting or the like. “I may be quite busy for a week or so. I will Send to you when I can.”
There’s a pause, and then her voice comes back, dramatically forlorn.
“But Essek, we miss youuuuu,” she whines, and then bursts into giggles. “We really do! Send when you have time, and stay out of trouble! Love you!” She pauses again, and then hums tunelessly until the spell runs out.
“Essek Thelyss,” the Bright Queen says, her voice ringing across the throne room like struck crystal. “Rise, and receive your judgement.”
“I will,” Essek whispers, and then lowers his hands, and stands to face his sentence.
#whumptober 2021#no. 1#bound#critical role#mighty nein#fic#essek thelyss#this one has multiple parts!#stay tuned for later updates further into october!#i am trying to like...not think myself into a corner too much about these#please do not worry about my handwaved plot it is there exclusively for my convenience#anyway i like this because the bindings in question are both literal and figurative and i love that for essek#anyway i don't understand how whumptober works so i'm just straight up not titling them except with 'day 1' etc#and the with the prompt i used#they will get titles later when i collate them into an ao3 collection after the event#i do NOT anticipate getting to every single one of these by the way. so reserve your expectations to a healthful level.
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Imagine being Azula’s favourite friend who she recruits first. The two of you have always had an unspoken attraction which neither of you were brave enough to acknoweldge...until you save her life and Azula decides to reward you
Background
You and Azula attended the academy together and had initially started as rivals. You were an above-average fire bender and because she didn’t know you Azula saw that as a threat. So she made it her mission to ruin your life when one day she found you arguing with Zuko. You didn’t hesitate to yell at him or point out his faults and from that moment on Azula knew she’d misjudged you. Azula be-friended you and you became a part of her group. Over time you became her favourite. She trusted you and could feel your loyalty to her, which was something she grew to respect more and more as Mai was compromised by Zuko and Ty lee became even more whimsical. You soon became inseparable and as the friendship grew it began to feel like more...you realised you liked Azula as more than a friend. You enjoyed every second you spent together and thought she felt the same. The tension between you grew and although Azula would grow flustered around you when you flirted with her she never reciprocated your feelings openly. You were heartbroken but understood that falling for the princess of the fire nation hadn’t been a very smart decision on your part. So needing some space to mend as soon as you graduated from the academy you joined the army. It hurt to be around Azula every day and to know you could be something great together if only your nation was more progressive. So you ran away from the situation and didn’t see Azula for years. You managed to stop thinking about her constantly after a few weeks and soon your heart didn’t feel as broken anymore...but you knew deep down you still cared about her. The princess would always be your first love.
Your POV
The army was tougher than the fire nation academy for many reasons. For one your name, reputation and grades didn’t matter once you passed through the doors. They didn’t care if you'd sparred with the best fire benders or got the highest grades in combat skills for ten years, you were reduced to a number and treated as one. You hated every second of it but the alternative was to return to your family and you’d take anything over that so you stuck it out.
One day all the recruits were ordered to wear their best clothes and report to the large training hall which could only mean one thing. Someone wanted to buy troops. High ranking generals or rich businessmen could hire trainees for missions or any jobs they needed completing. The buyer could choose who they wanted after watching you all in training and you would then decide if to accept or not. You took every opportunity you could and so stared straight ahead for inspection, trying your best to look hirable when a voice broke your resolve. "I’m looking for something in particular" Azula told your trainer and you only just managed to keep your head forward but a small smirk broke out on your face. Azula spotted you and walked down the line slowly before stopping in front of you. "Well, well who do we have here?" she asked. You looked up at her and matched her smile "long time no see huh?". Your trainer was horrified at the way you addressed the princess and rushed to yell at you when Azula cut him off with a laugh. She took your arm and you hugged her tightly. Your stomach exploded in butterflies and you clutched her tightly, you’d missed Azula dearly. "Your highness i don’t know what...i’m sorry for this one’s behaviour" the trainer started obliviously and Azula rolled her eyes "are they all as dumb as you? Obviously i know y/n". You smirked and Azula was spurred on by that beautiful expression she’d missed. "You really have no idea who she is?" Azula asked laughing "this is y/n l/n, her father is friends with my father and she is a personal friend to the royal family. To hear you haven’t treated her appropriately is very displeasing" Azula frowned and you smiled as your usually cruel and horrible trainer shook. "I’m sorry we had no idea who she was! We will treat her better, promote her actually" he babbled. "No that won’t do" Azula said "and that wont be necessary, y/n will be leaving with me for a job and won’t be coming back here". The guard hesitated "i...you can’t just take a recruit". "I’m not but i could" Azula growled "i think you’ll find it’s more y/n quits". "She can’t quit" the guard replied “she made an oath” and Azula raised an eyebrow in response "are you tell me what i can do? Are you telling a noblewoman what she can do? Any debt she owes you will be wiped by my command, understand?" Azula barked. The trainer paled but nodded "yes princess" and bowed his head. "Good" Azula nodded and she strode with you right out of the front doors.
Azula brought you to the lodgings she was staying at in the nearest town and you were amused to see it had been given the royal treatment. Red everywhere, freshly polished surfaces as far as the eye could see, gold and silver decorations lay on every available service and of course a large portrait of the fire lord hung on the wall. Over a lavish dinner Azula told you the mission making you realise you’d accepted and left the army without even asking for any details. You were fine with hunting the avatar and Zuko with Mai and Ty lee but you also recognised you would’ve accepted almost any mission Azula gave you because you’d been so happy to see her. Azula had always had this effect on you and time apart hadn’t done anything to lessen that. You were as much in love with her now as you were the day you left two years ago.
After dinner Azula led you to your shared apartment, it contained two bedrooms with ensuites and a large living room which you were pleased to see and you sunk into the sofa happily. "Your hair’s shorter" Azula commented suddenly and you nodded touching it self consciously "yeah it was a target in sparring". Azula scoffed "seriously? Don’t they teach the other recruits proper fire bending moves as opposed to childish tricks?". You shrugged "they told us to win by any means. That it doesn’t have to look good so long as you win". Azula laughed again "amateurs all of them! Of course it should look good". You smirked "well when it comes so easy to you" and glanced over her. Azula shrugged but had a large smile on her face "well I suppose I have been blessed in that aspect". You laughed again and smiled "this is nice". Azula smiled too "it is" and you locked eyes for several seconds before she looked away slowly. Azula stood up abruptly "we should get some sleep we’re moving on foot tomorrow to go get Ty lee and then Mai". You were excited at the thought of seeing your old friends and grinned "great! Also don’t think i didn’t notice you came for me first" you called as Azula made her way towards her room. She halted and you smirked "I always knew i was your favourite but really Azula to make it so obvious" you grinned and Azula paused. You walked to your own room and Azula finally responded "i always made it obvious you’re my favourite, it’s nothing new" and went into her room.
You stepped into your own room and leant back against the closed door blushing vividly from the encounter with Azula. You’d spent all your time in the army trying to convince yourself your relationship with Azula was purely platonic. That the fact your heart sped up whenever you thought of her or how you dreamt of her often was just because you were close friends. You managed to convince yourself you weren’t in love with Azula and that she didn’t feel anything for you either but less than a day with her and you knew that was a lie. You couldn’t deny the way she made you feel and how she smiled at you in a way she never did with anyone else...as much as it made you nervous your realisation also excited you. You couldn’t wait to be around Azula again and felt a happy glow spread over you. You settled in your bed, a smile still on your face and burrowed into the exquisite cushions. You expected to fall to sleep easily but a while later you were still awake. You frowned confused as to why. You were happy, you were with Azula and the bed was comfy so why couldn’t you sleep? You figured maybe the bed was too soft compared to what you were used to in the army so went into the living room to try the sofa. You laid down and realised this was better, more like the beds back at the military. You had just closed your eyes when Azula’s door opened. "Trouble sleeping?" she asked and you nodded "i think the bed’s too comfy". Azula laughed "i thought the opposite, really y/n your taste has worsened in our time apart". You shrugged "it’s better than what i’ve been sleeping on for the last 9 months". Azula lay down on the sofa next to you and you looked at her. You didn’t ask why after finding her own bed soooo uncomfortable she came to lay on a sofa barely a foot from where you were and just enjoyed the silence. “So, anything else i missed you didn’t put in your letters?” you asked. Azula hadn’t written to you much at the academy and honestly that had been a good thing. You’d have just missed her more than you already had but she did send brief updates once a month. Azula nodded "probably tons, i couldn’t write often". You didn’t point out she wrote to you on the first of each month religiously instead you turned on your side to look at her. Mai and Ty lee had also written to you but you’d noticed compared to their letters and the changes in their lives Azula’s had been...well boring. You felt almost sorry for her, you’d all moved away to different things but Azula had been stuck at home with a father who was cruel, the ghost of a cold mother and the memory of a banished brother. Azula quickly discussed some events that had happened and then also turned on her side to face you. "What about you then? How was military life really?". You shrugged "not as i expected". "I knew that job would be awful" Azula commented "why did you stay so long then?". You sighed "well i liked some parts of it, the physical training was similar to what we did in the academy which i liked, the mental tests were better, they made me use all my brain". "That’s a first" Azula chimed in and you rolled your eyes "i liked those parts of it...could’ve done without the abuse from the trainers, food restrictions and ban on leaving". Azula raised an eyebrow "remember what i always told you y/n no self-pity, you could’ve left at any time. You chose not to". You thought Azula sounded a bit angry when she said that but you shrugged "i could but that would have meant going back home not coming back to the capital and I’d rather fight all the trainers at once than that" you said through gritted teeth and Azula saw you’d tensed. She recalled you never got along with your family but she hadn’t realised they were part of the reason you’d taken such an awful job so soon after graduation. "They hated my move to the capital and said if i failed at all they’d have me back and married, i had one shot to escape them, there’s no way i’d give it away because i didn’t actually like what i’d chosen". Azula didn’t comment she just watched you conflicted, she hated self pity and weakness but you were so like her, she’d have done the exact same thing in your position. "But you did leave" Azula commented “you left to come with me” and you looked down "i did...". Azula saw the way your face changed, filling with worry and she actually felt slightly guilty. You’d left instinctively for her when she asked, no matter what it might mean for you in the long term. You did all that for her and it proved to her again why you were her closest ally.
Azula laughed and you looked at her confused "y/n do you really think i’d make you give up your job for a small mission?". You frowned "what?". "Your parents won’t be angry because this a much better job, you’ll be paid more and you’re working with me" Azula said pointedly. "They can’t say anything against that, as long as you’re with me they can’t touch you" she smiled and you grinned at Azula "you’d vouch for me?". Azula nodded "of course, i want you with me and that’s what i’ll get, i don’t care who your family are they’re not taking you anywhere ever". You were equally touched and shocked "ever?". Azula nodded "well obviously you might not be here forever but they’re never taking you back to tie you to a marriage, i’ll just keep coming up with excuses to keep you in my company until you’re too old and then they’ll have to leave you alone with me" Azula explained and you smiled "sounds perfect".
Azula laughed and met your eye, seeing how intensely you looked at her gave her chills. Azula had missed you greatly in the capital but honestly she’d let you leave without a fight. She sensed a growing attraction and longing for you which she knew had to stop. So she let you go figuring some distance would be good but as soon as she needed allies the first face in her mind was yours. The second she saw you she knew she’d made the right choice but she also felt the attraction just as suddenly. Laying here staring at you made it more apparent than ever and it scared Azula. She blushed and turned away from you, facing the back of the sofa "try and sleep" she commanded "we'll be up early".
You didn’t comment on how much Azula was blushing or how she’d chosen to sleep out here with you. You just smiled and closed your eyes basking in the feeling of all she’d said and the safety of her. “Good night Princess” you whispered and you fell asleep almost instantly.
The next day you reunited with Ty lee and then Mai. Ty lee had launched herself at both you and Azula when she saw you and the same occurred for Mai. Mai grunted and hugged Ty lee begrudgingly. "I thought you ran away to the circus?" Mai asked Ty lee and she nodded "i did but y/n and Azula showed up and well they called louder than the universe" Ty lee smiled. "Wait y/n and Azula, isn’t the circus closer to the capital than the military?" Mai asked looking from you to Azula. "Yeah so?" you said confused and Mai shrugged "nothing just seems like it’d make sense to go to the circus first then military but hey i’m sure Azula had her reasons for coming to get you first" Mai smirked slightly. You didn’t look at Azula but Mai and Ty lee exchanged a look at the matching blushes you were both sporting, some things never change. Azula recovered first and pretended Mai hadn’t said anything about the two of you and began explaining her plan. You joined in after a few seconds of recovery but still felt giddy at Mai’s words.
Throughout your trip you and Azula grew closer and closer just like you’d done at the academy. Although neither of you spoke about it you felt drawn to one another and Azula acted differently around you. She sought you out more than the others, always kept the closest proximity to you and paired Mai and Ty lee and you with herself whenever you had to split into teams. As you fell into old habits all the past feelings came back and you began to worry at all the dangerous situations Azula was putting herself in just to please her father. She’d infiltrated Ba Sing Sei without any backup besides you, Ty lee and Mai which terrified you. Of course her plan worked but still you were so grateful Azula had been unharmed and managed to take over the whole city without any mishaps. You hoped it’d be smooth sailing from there but of course she wanted her brother and the avatar too. You did exactly what she said to try and help her but you couldn’t escape the feeling something would go wrong. Azula had left to go and face the avatar all alone apart from her dai lee agents and you couldn’t get her out of your head. Azula had put you in charge of making sure the earth king and his bear were looked after but you wanted to ensure she was okay so left it to Ty lee and Mai. You followed the secret passage you’d seen Azula take and found your way into a massive cavern filled with people. You spotted Azula fighting the avatar and saw her shoot him with a lightning bolt. He fell to the floor and you gaped at the fact Azula had likely just killed the avatar. The water bender with the avatar then went into a rage and flew through the air using a massive wave to catch him. Azula smirked ready to engage with her and you saw Zuko standing beside her. You were surprised to see Zuko beside her, never thinking she’d actually manage to get Zuko on her side but of course she was a master at manipulation. You smiled at all she’d achieved when you noticed Azula’s uncle Iroh was approaching them. He had flames in his hands and was looking right at Azula who was fixed on the water bender. You gasped at Iroh’s intentions and how nobody was aware of what was going on behind them. You broke out into a run and leapt down the cliff as quick as you could. You were getting closer but you still weren’t close enough. Iroh raised his hands and you went into panic mode. “Stop” you yelled and threw your own fire as Iroh released his own. Your strike managed to hit his off course and it hit a rock beside Azula. Azula and Zuko both jumped and Iroh turned to you. You were now stood blocking his path to Azula and you sensed he still wanted to take her down. You anticipated his attack and blocked it instinctively before firing back your own. Iroh was much stronger than you so you were heavily outmatched when suddenly two flames burst onto the scene. Azula sprang in front and began attacking her uncle savagely while Zuko helped. You were again slightly surprised by Zuko but quickly joined in. With three on one even the dragon of the west couldn’t last long and with a final hit from Azula he fell to the floor. “Seize him and throw him in a cage” Azula spat and walked past him to you. “I thought I told you to wait upstairs” she said fixing her intense gaze on you and you shrugged “I wanted to help and I think it’s a good job I did”. Azula shot you a look at your boldness but you could tell she was more amused than annoyed. “You appear to be correct” she replied curtly before walking past you. You smiled after Azula, admiring how happy she looked and why wouldn’t she? She’d taken over Ba Sing Sei, possibly killed the avatar, brought down her uncle and convinced Zuko to ally with her, all in all it had been an excellent day and Azula had proved herself a force to be reckoned with. You began following her when you saw the guards walking Iroh in the opposite direction. You were going to look away when you noticed he was still staring at Azula. You could feel his anger and knew what his intentions were, he meant to finish the job. In the blink of an eye Iroh burst out of his restraints, threw his guards to the side and took a stance. “Azula get down” you yelled sensing the electricity in the air but he had an excellent shot at her and she had nowhere to go. Instinctively you threw yourself into the path of the lightning.
Azula also responded instinctively. She conjured her own lightning to meet her uncle’s when she saw you running into the fight, You tried to raise a wall of fire but there wasn’t time, you got hit by the bolt and collapsed. Azula only just managed to direct her own bolt away from you and felt her heart beating rapidly. As the smoke cleared Azula saw your body on the floor rage consumed her. She conjured a huge amount of electricity and sent it all at her uncle. He tried to block it but Azula’s bolt sliced through his defences hitting him square in the chest. Azula didn’t even check to see if her bolt had met its mark, she knew it had so rushed to your side. “Y/n” she yelled and she knelt beside you staring at the smoke coming off your back where the bolt had hit you. Your uniform was partially melted and Azula could smell the burning flesh strongly. "I need water” Azula yelled grabbing you and trying to feel for a pulse. She felt one and felt her own breathing somewhat stabilise too. "Now" Azula yelled and people rushed forwards. Azula poured the water over you "it’s okay" she told as you winced as she poured more. "We need to get her into the pool" she called "someone help me get her to the water". Zuko appeared and helped Azula carry you to a fountain. You were semi-conscious which made Azula hurry even quicker, she wanted to reduce your pain as soon as possible. Azula climbed into the fountain first and told Zuko to pass you to her. She took you carefully and laid you on your back floating. Your eyes closed as you passed out and Zuko called for a doctor. Azula clutched your by your arms keeping you close to her in the water "you will not die y/n" she snarled "you will be fine do you hear me?". You didn’t respond.
Later
You woke up face down on something soft and tried to move your face away from it when shooting pains erupted along your spine. You felt like your back was cracking open and groaned loudly. "Careful y/n" you heard someone say and saw it was Ty Lee. "Ty lee? What happened?". "You got burnt" she explained "on your back..luckily Azula cooled you in time to stop any long-term damage but it’s still really sore so be careful". You reached for your back and flinched at the slightest touch of it. "Stop" Ty lee told you "Azula said i’m to watch you and make sure you rest, apply more soothing cream on it every three hours and just basically always make sure you're okay!" she told you cheerfully. You shook your head "Ty lee i’m fine you don’t have to sit guard over me" you tried to sit up and went pale from the pain. "Don’t do that" Ty lee cried rushing to your side "if you want to get up i can pile some pillows in front of you for you to lean on. I don’t think you can sit up for a while". You pouted annoyed but asked Ty lee to bring you said pillows and managed to pull yourself up onto your elbows "so what happened? Tell me everything". "Well thanks to you we managed to stop Iroh escaping and hurting Azula, we took Ba Sing Sei and the avatar is dead". "Wow" you said surprised "That is... a lot". Ty lee nodded “Ow and Zuko’s back on our side". You nodded and smiled "I bet Mai is happy". Ty lee grinned too "she is i haven’t seen her since we started for home". "We’re on our way back?" you asked and Ty lee nodded "yes but Azula said me, you and Mai are to stay with her even after we arrive back in the capital, she said she still has a need for us". You smiled laying your head down blushing slightly, Azula had kept her promise, she wasn’t letting you go. You sighed happily and Ty lee smiled "y/n?". "I’m just glad to be going back" you smiled "i think we'll have lots of fun".
You had been dozing when the sounds of the door made you jolt awake sending shooting pains down your back. You winced but prepared yourself for an attack until you saw her. Azula raised her hands as she saw you jump and she smiled "just me". You relaxed "Azula, sorry i was asleep". "Don’t apologise you need to rest after what happened, i just wanted to come check on you. We'll be in the fire nation in a few hours". "That’s good news" you smiled and Azula nodded "how does the back feel? Ty lee says you’re doing as well as can be expected" Azula’s eyes drifted to your back and you froze. You were now very aware you were laid on your front with only a blanket covering your bare torso from Azula’s eye. Azula stepped closer and you rushed to explain and stop her inspecting you. "I’m fine" you told her "the burns aren’t too bad, they hardly hurt at all". Azula raised an eyebrow "then you won’t mind me having a look?" and stepped beside you. She reached for the blanket and you grabbed her hand with an uncomfortable strain "wait, i lied...i don’t want you to see it, Ty lee says it looks bad. It’s in the blistering stage and yes it hurts but everything has already been done for it and me so you don’t need to see it or check on me". Azula titled her head to one side as you couldn’t meet her eye and she sighed sitting on the floor beside your bed. "It will scar but unlike Zuko you can wear yours with pride" Azula said forcefully and you looked up at her shocked "with time i’m sure it will simply resemble a tattoo" Azula explained. You turned on your side to look at her, something you’d practised with Ty lee and could now manage. "Ty lee told me you did as much for me as you could...i can’t really remember it but..". "Do you remember jumping into the path of lightning for me?" Azula said "without protecting yourself or even any concrete attempt to do so, and what for?". You sighed thinking Azula was angry at you "i...i know it was reckless and stupid, it went against everything we were taught at the academy but I don’t know Azula, i did it without even thinking. I saw it heading for you and you weren’t ready! It would hit you and i just did it without hesitation, i know it seems stupid and emotional but i don’t regret it Azula i’d do it again" you told her sighing, feeling she wouldn’t understand. "I know that might sound stupid...why i’d do that for you but Azula i..." you started as Azula cut you off "y/n". Azula gently raised your head with a hand helping you to look at her. You were confused by Azula’s gaze, it was soft but at the same time intense, you couldn’t recognise the emotion, was she angry? Happy? Excited? Apparently it was somewhere in the middle. Azula leant down to you, hand on your cheek as she ghosted her lips over yours. You felt a sensation like water being thrown over you as Azula kissed you softly and quickly before pulling back "i don’t completely get it but i understand" she smiled blushing softly "i think I can imagine why you did it" she said looking away from you "thank you for saving me". You were speechless, Azula was thanking you? Azula understood why you did it? Did that mean she liked you too? She’d just kissed you so of course she did! Or was that what she thought you wanted? Azula had been used all her life, did she simply think you did this in order to make gains with her?
Azula smiled slightly to see your brain short-circuiting at her actions and stood up. "i just wanted to make sure you were okay so now I know you are i’ll let you go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we’re there". You nodded still confused and watched Azula walked away. You weren’t sure what had just happened but you knew you had to make Azula realise you didn’t do this just to use her. "Azula" you said suddenly "is that...what you just did...if that was my reward or what you think i wanted from you after today...i didn’t save you because i was expecting a reward or anything from you so what i’m saying is you don’t have to compensate me if you don’t want to. I didn’t do it for any reason other than to keep you safe".
Azula blushed suddenly and felt her emotions swirling, she realised she was happy. To hear you express openly your desire for her safety filled her with excitement and she realised nobody had ever cared for her before like you did. Azula nodded slowly "that is welcomed news y/n" she smiled "but i didn’t reward you like that as a forced compensation either" she told you "although my intentions were personal and selfish i suppose”.
You smirked slightly and nodded "good...i mean fine with me". Azula nodded "i’m glad we understand each other, good night y/n". "Good night princess Azula" you said savouring the words and Azula’s eye twitched but she maintained her calm expression and bowed leaving. You lay back giggling as realisation (and the medication you were on for the pain) set in. Azula had kissed you and told you she didn’t do it because she thought she had to but because she wanted to! For selfish reasons!!! You wrapped yourself in your blankets and didn’t stop smiling even in your sleep.
____
Is it just me who loves the idea of being in a secret relationship with the princess of the fire nation? I feel like Azula would excel at sneaking around the palace and would like rebelling against Ozai for once
#azula#azula x reader#azula imagine#princess azula#avatar#avatar imagine#avatar princess azula#avatar the last air bender#avatar the last airbender#avatar the last airbender imagine#fire nation#fire nation royalty#mai#ty lee#zuko#iroh#atla azula#avatar azula#atla mai#avatar mai#avatar ty lee#atla ty lee#ba sing sei
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the taming of the shrew | one
he is more a shrew than she
penelope reveals her plan to get you and spencer together. unfortunately, her plan has a few hitches.
A/N: again, big thanks to @homoose for being my helpful beta reader, and to YOU for reading it now.
category: fluff, spencer reid x fem!reader, series
wc: 4.1k
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Penelope came back to your place the following night, bearing a new bottle of wine and a collection of materials she mentioned were integral to executing the plan.
Very quickly into Penelope’s explanation of this Genius Plan –– her words, not yours –– you remembered what it was she did for work. Officially, she was some sort of technical computer-y person for the Federal Bureau. As you knew her, she’s a danger to society and anyone with a traceable digital presence.
She managed to construct a comprehensive list of every place in D.C. and Virginia that her friend liked going to, along with the approximate times in which you were most likely to find him there. Approximate meaning, exactly which days he visits and the roughly time of day, down to a mere one hour margin of error.
You scanned the list over, shocked at its detail. Where he cut his hair, got his coffee, bought his books. His favorite restaurants, the chess clubs he’s a member of, his local hospital.
His local hospital?!
“I’m not going to need to know that, am I?” you paused.
“Probably not, but it comes in handy with this job,” she shrugged with a nonchalance that was rather alarming.
There had to be a dozen more places on the sheet –– ranked, in order of his (assumed) preference for them. Penelope calculated it based on the frequency of his visits, their average duration per session, and how often he’d mentioned about the place.
“What?” she tossed her palms up, taking offense when you asked her if she had evil plans to take over the tristate area. “Hang out with him long enough, you tell me if you pick up a knack for researching or not.”
Researching. Mining private data through questionable methods. It’s a small difference to Penelope.
“Remind me not to get on your bad side, Penelope,” you muttered under your breath, flipping the sheet back and forth. “You could ruin my whole life with ten minutes on a computer.”
“I wanted to be thorough,” she defended, shrugging. “And I’d only need five.”
You laughed through your nose, giving the paper one last scan. “You left out one important thing, though.”
“No, I put his home address on there,” her brows wrinkled together as she pointed it out on the sheet with one hot pink polished finger.
“His name,” you berated. “Jesus, you think I’m going to show up at his home?!”
“Again! I’m thorough,” she cried at your accusatory tone. “His name’s Spencer. You’ll like him when you meet him.”
_
You didn’t doubt that Penelope’s friend was a likeable guy, but you weren’t exactly dying to go out of your way to meet him. You told her that you’d get around to it when you had a chance and left it at that.
And two weeks later, you found yourself in need of a caffeine fix that your tea kettle wasn’t strong enough to satisfy. You started on a new piece late the previous night, and midnight rolled into four in the morning, which pushed you into the arms of seven o’clock. Reinforcements were needed.
Throwing on a large sweater to cover up your messy clothes and grabbing the closest pair of shoes you could find, you originally planned on heading to your usual spot just around your street corner. Just as you were leaving, the list, still sitting untouched in the exact spot that Penelope left it in, caught your eye.
It’d been a while since you told Penelope you’d help her out. Enough time had passed that you now felt like there was an invisible deadline over your head.
Maybe it won’t hurt to try something new?
Besides, meeting someone at a coffee shop seemed like an easy, foolproof way to go about this. From all the movies and romance novels, you knew that cafes are the pinnacle of meet-cute situations. Or, in your case, a meet-forced.
Regardless, it should’ve been simple enough, and it would’ve gotten the favor off your shoulder.
You scanned the sheet for the cafe Spencer would be at on a Thursday at 8 a.m., and got there with barely five minutes to spare before he was expected to show.
It was just your luck that he had to pick a cafe practically as far from your home as he could get, and the transfer train had to have a delay that made you walk the last three-quarters of a mile there. Call it crazy, but you didn’t expect to actually have to put in work for this. You expected it better be worth the hassle.
You took a seat in the back of the cafe to catch your breath as you waited for him to show up. Sitting in the booth, with your head down so you coudn’t be seen, the plan started to feel stupid all over again. You were running around the city, spying on this stranger, and for what?
The silver bell hung over the door frame interrupted before your thoughts could travel down that path of questioning. It rang each time a new patron enters, and within the next twenty minutes it rang only eight or nine times. None of them appeared to be Spencer.
You were prepared to call this one a failure and leave, when you realized your colossal mistake. You only had his name, and no idea what he looks like. So unless he happened to wear a name tag around you could’ve already missed him. You realized then that there were more than a few flaws in this plan.
Keeping an eye on the door, you dialed Penelope’s contact as a swarm of new patrons flooded in.
“How am I supposed to know what he looks like?” you whispered into the phone, failing to cover it with a hand cupped over the speaker. Penelope was confused for only a second by the apparent lack of context.
“Oh! He’s tall, has mousy brown hair but he cut it recently. It’s like… missing on the sides, but it’s all there in the front!” she explained.
What the hell does she mean missing?
“Pen, brunette? That’s like all the guys in here…” You took a look around the full cafe; various men typing on computers, taking calls. All of them looked the same, from their brown hair to their khakis and puffer coats. “You’re going to have to give me a little more than brown hair.”
Penelope struggled to explain and with each new feature she gave you, your mental picture of him got more clouded. “He’s skinny! Dresses like a vintage teddy bear!”
“Does he have kind of like… a hot English teacher vibe?” you quirked your head, spying a man approaching from the sidewalk and drinking him in with your eyes. Tall, brunette, clad in corduroy head to toe with a plaid sweater vest underneath. Vintage Teddy Bear F/W 1978 collection.
“Yes! He teaches sometimes! And you think he’s hot?”
Your mouth gaped even though she couldn’t see you. “No, I - I didn’t say that. I said he had the vibes of a hot teacher.”
“And how different is that from saying he’s––”
“Pen, I gotta go. Your guy’s walking in.” You put the phone away before she could pick apart what you said.
The bell on the front door rang as he came in and you stared intently at his face. If this was like the movies, he’d turn his head right then, at the perfect time, and make eye contact. He’d fall madly in love from the first look, and your work would be done. You sat at the edge of your seat, burning holes into his skull, waiting for that moment.
But alas, he never looked up from the linoleum flooring as he walked up to the counter. With a groan, you slid out of your booth and quickly hopped into the line before anyone else could claim the spot behind him.
New plan: eavesdrop, order the same coffee as him, and pretend to go for the cup at the same time. Laugh about the coincidence, how if you share the same coffee order you must certainly have a lot in common, and have him fall in love with you.
But you overheard him rattle off his order and were absolutely horrified. Black coffee, extra sugar. Like, extra, extra sugar.
You were going to need a second change of plans.
You eyed him up and down, searching for something you could approach him about. He was donning black converse under a fitted pair of dark brown corduroy trousers, with a blazer to match, and a deep green plaid vest underneath. On paper, this outfit shouldn’t work. In practice, it… really did.
A little too well, given how good he looks in it. More fashionable than a federal agent ought to be as required by dress codes, right?
“Can I help you?” you heard, and it poked the bubble of your thoughts. Your head shot up to meet his for the first time, eyes wide as heat crawled up your face.
“Uh. No ––” Shit. You didn’t even realize how long you were staring at his legs. Long, long legs. And shit, why did you say no? That was your opening to talk to him.
The man –– Spencer –– nodded his head slowly, uncomfortably, and turned away with a forced grin. He grabbed the coffee cup placed on the counter and you thought now was the time to say something. But by the time you thought of it, he’d already picked up his cup and made his way to the door.
The stupid silver bell mocked you as he left.
__
The first attempt left you slightly jilted, but a few days later you found yourself in need of a few grocery items. You just happened to be in his neighborhood that day, and though it was very much out of the way of your own, you didn’t plan on it being a problem. He’d never see where you lived anyways, and he’d never need to know how unlikely this chance encounter really was.
You had Penelope text you the address of his regular grocery store, and upon arrival, felt immediate concern. It was not a grocery store. It was a convenience mart slash liquor store at the corner of the street, below a building of worn apartments.
As you walked through the aisles, the only things you found were a large assortment of wines that took up half the small store space, an aisle of candy packets and chips, a section for household supplies, and one measly aisle for canned and boxed foods.
Cereal, instant noodles, soup cans, pancake mix… nothing very fresh.
Spencer seemed like a pretty scrawny guy. You now believed it might’ve been from the fact that his food choices were so off-putting that he simply didn’t eat. It wasn’t your place to be concerned, but you decided that if you ever ended up taking him out, a farmer’s market might be good for him.
You loitered around for perhaps longer than necessary. The inquisitive shop attendant asked if you need help –– as in, why are you still here, get out of my store –– and you told her you were just really conflicted on which detergent brand you needed. Finally, the man you were after arrived at the scene.
“Hi, Dolores,” he greete with a small wave. The attendant, Dolores, greets back with a positivity that she sorely lacked when talking to you. Dolores has favorites, apparently.
An unexpected panic settled in your stomach and you quickly turned back to your selection of fabric softeners. You weren’t hiding, you just didn’t want him to catch you staring again. You picked up your two props, pretending to read the labels on the back and compare the chemical formulas on each of them, when you saw him out of the corner of your eyes.
He went into the aisle in front of yours, and over the short shelves you saw the back of his head sweeping over the modest food section. He turned around to inspect the other side of the aisle, and you ducked your head even lower. It was in vain. He spotted you anyway.
You fixed your eyes even harder onto the bottles, afraid to look anywhere else. He shuffled out of his aisle and turned the corner into yours. You started sweating a little.
“Uhm. Excuse me,” he said.
“Yeah?” You looked up from your bottles, putting on your best caught-off-guard face. Like you were a girl in a movie, reading a book on the beach (not detergent labels in a liquor store) and your romantic interest just noticed how beautiful you looked doing it, deciding he had to introduce himself.
“Can you… can you move…” he asked, gesturing to the section of cleaners that you’re blocking.
Never mind.
“Oh! Yeah, sorry.” You burned up, moving out of his way. He reached for what he needed and you peeked down to inspect the contents of his basket. Organic whole wheat bread, cream of mushroom soup, and somehow, he’d managed to find the only two apples this place must carry. At least there was light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel.
He tossed a bottle of Snuggle fabric softener and you raised your brows. Given that he was “grocery shopping’’ in a three-piece suit –– a good one, too, black trousers, vest and blazer with an eggplant purple shirt and lavender tie –– you would’ve expected him to simply send his clothes out for dry cleaning.
“Snuggle, huh?” you said. He gave you a confused look. “Oh, uh. I was looking at these. Couldn’t pick between the two.” You raised your two bottles of softener; Snuggle and Tide.
You needed him to know you weren’t just saying Snuggle to insinuate that you would like to do that to him. You remembered Penelope telling you he had a degree in chemistry or some sort of science field, and asked, “Is… is that one like, more organic? I was trying to read the formulas but I don’t… I don’t recognize the chemicals,” you trailed off. You could see yourself losing his interest the more you spoke. He barely looked at you as he grabbed whatever else he needed.
“I don’t know… I just like it,” he bristled. You looked down at the bottle and flipped it over to the front. It had a drawing of a teddy bear on it. How fitting.
You go to comment on it but yet again he’d made an escape, already at the checkout counter and unloading his basket by the time you looked up again. You rolled your eyes, wondering if it’s even worth it to follow him into line and see if he sparks up a conversation this time.
You could tell that he wouldn’t. So you gave him the space to buy his items and leave.
You didn’t really need the detergent, but Dolores gave you a pointed look before you could even think about putting it back on the shelf. You ended up buying the detergent, a loaf of bread, and two packets of sweets out of guilt.
As you took the train home, digging into your packet of sour peach rings, you began to doubt if you can carry out Penelope’s request.
_
After two failed attempts, you were prepared to tell Penelope that this just wasn’t going to work out. You didn’t expect it to be this difficult to talk to Spencer nor did you see yourself getting closer to him anytime soon. It would be best if she just found someone else to do it.
You caught her in the hallway, leaving her apartment just as you came home from the store. It seemed like as good of a time as any to let her know how unsuccessful your escapades were going. With your tail between your legs, you approached her with the intention of breaking the plan off.
But the second she saw you, it was like she could read through you. She clocked what you were about to say and before you could, she gave you a warm hug. It was the first one you’d ever received from her, actually. And she thanked you for trying.
It didn’t make you feel guilty, per se, but it definitely made you feel weird about telling her the news. So you bit back on telling her what you were really going to say. She didn’t need to know the details of your failure, or the fact that you were seconds away from giving up on her friend.
Maybe you didn’t need to give up right away.
After all, you did only talk to the guy twice. Don’t they always say the third time’s the charm?
You left the conversation at just that –– letting her know that you’re happy to do this for her, even if you aren’t really –– and slinked back into your apartment. The list, buried under the magazines and paint tubes and half-full cups of cold coffee on your table, called for you.
If by any stroke of luck you happened to share one interest with this guy, you promised yourself to give it one more try.
According to the list, that overlapping interest was the wonderful world of Gatsby Books –– a small, locally owned bookstore residing in the heart of D.C. ’s arts district. That neighborhood was smack in the middle of your’s and Spencer’s, and it was where the gallery you showcase at was.
You’d been meaning to get down there for a while now, anyways. It really was the cutest bookstore in the world; inside it lived a white, bushy-furred cat named Gatsby, and he was always there. After all, it was his bookstore.
It wasn’t such a burden to make your visit fit Spencer’s schedule, really. And it would make Penelope happy if you did. So on Saturday afternoon, you took a lovely walk through the sunny arts district of D.C., a smile on your face and a tote in hand for all the books you were planning on hauling back.
The smell of paper and coffee greeted your nose at the door, and you practically fell into a trance, letting it lead you through the aisles of the store without much thought of where you wandered. Not that it mattered, you could’ve roamed the shelves aimlessly all day long.
In the mystery and thrillers section, you found Gatsby. He jumped down from his perch on a step stool and weaved between your legs, greeting one of his long-time regulars. He was such a good shop owner.
“Hi, Mr. Gatsby.” You smiled and bent down to give him a little head scratch when he started running off in the other direction, taunting you into following him.
He rounded the corner and came to a stop at a pair of boot-clad feet; your eyes moved up to find your favorite employee (after Gatsby, of course) restocking the shelves.
“Miles!” you whispered, but he still jumped out of his skin. He turned around, hand still over his chest, and sighed when he realized it was just you. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” you laughed.
“Hey, long time, no see. Back for some more recommendations?” You ‘ooh’ed at his offer.
“I was just gonna say, the ones you gave me last time were so good. I finished them in, like, a week.”
“Really?” He smiled, brows happily up his forehead. You nodded in assent. “Okay, well I’ll give you more this time, see if the list’ll last you a little longer than that.”
You grinned eagerly, following him to the shop counter where he pulled out a stack of bright green post-its and a pen.
“I’ve actually been waiting for you to come in, I already had these in mind for you,” he mumbled, scrawling across the paper quickly. He handed the note over, and it took a moment to decipher the chicken scratches.
“Okay, first you gave me Al-Shayk and Bradbury. Now you’re giving me Chaucer, Dickens, and Doyle,” you recited the note, giving him a teasing look. “Are we just going through the alphabet, Miles?” you joked.
“Honest mistake. But I’d be happy to give you all the other twenty-two letters of the alphabet if needed.”
“I might hold you to that.” You nodded, folding the post-it in your palm to prevent the sticky backing from gunking up. It’d make quite the good bookmark for later. “Thanks for these!”
“No problem, just a part of the job.”
Nonetheless, you thanked him again before disappearing back into the aisles. You found Miles’ books as well as a few of your own and nearly lost yourself in the rows of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, until you made a turn. Standing in the middle of the next aisle was Spencer.
A week ago, he was the whole point of coming to the store. That day, you completely forgot about it, and it stopped you in your tracks to see him there. He was just standing in the middle of the walkway, staring blankly at the shelf in front of him.
“Excuse me,” you grinned, “Could you move?”
You thought it was a cute reference back to the laundry detergent fiasco, a chance for you to turn the tables, but he had no reaction to it whatsoever. His face was straight as he merely pivoted his shoulder out of your way as you reached for the book you needed; The Narrative of John Smith.
His eyes narrowed at you and his nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was called for because you grabbed the last copy they had in stock.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want this?” you asked, waving the book in his face. He was just standing there for so long, you didn’t think he actually wanted anything since he never picked it up.
“No,” he said coldly.
Contrary to Penelope’s review, he didn’t actually seem that warm of a person. But you smiled tightly at him, letting a forced laugh fill the stale air.
“I… I swear I’m not stalking you,” you laughed, rubbing the back of your neck. Technically it was a bit of a lie, but he didn’t need to know. It’s just something people say when they have the happy coincidence of running into a stranger so often.
“What did you say to me?” he bit. His tone was sharper than you felt like this conversation deserves.
“I mean, I’ve just been seeing you around a lot… it was, like, a joke? Like, ‘ahh watch out, I’m stalking you!’ you know?” With each second he stared you down, you felt your throat dry out, getting more flustered as you felt the need to over explain yourself.
“Maybe you should work on your comedy routine,” he barked, his voice just faintly cracking. He shoulder-checked you as he rushed out of the store in long strides and a brisk pace.
What in the absolute fuck.
You couldn’t stay in the shop for another minute. You dropped your stack of books at the counter with Miles, giving him a rushed apology for leaving them behind as you stormed out of the shop and headed in the opposite direction of where Spencer ran off to.
The air outside was now frosty as the sun disappeared behind the horizon; the wind nipped at your hot cheeks as you charged home. There weren’t enough words to quantify the anger you felt. Your mind ran rampant with how much you now hated this man.
Not only did he bite your head off for no good reason, but he publicly embarrassed you at your favorite place and had gone so far as to bruise your shoulder to make a point. And you know what? If he really wanted you out of his way, you were more than happy to leave him the hell alone for the rest of your life.
You reached into your jacket pocket for your phone and dialed Penelope.
“Hey! How are––” she cheered.
“It’s off.”
“What?”
“It’s off. I’m not dating your fucking friend.”
“What happened? I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding––” she started in a panic. She pleaded that you overlook whatever went wrong and promised that she’d have a talk with Spencer about it. She’d try to encourage him into the direction that you need.
None of that registered in your brain, hot blood filling your ears instead of her words.
“He’s a fucking ass,” you spat. “The more I see of him, the less I like him, and… I’m pretty sure we’d rather kill each other than date at this point. So yeah, I’m done.”
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