#I just gotta kill myself now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kryquy · 2 months

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kadoc vs kariya fight

#fanart #fate zero #kariya matou #matou kariya #fgo #fate grand order #kadoc zemlupus #uhhh #kadokari #?#karikado #idfk #my art #shitpost #kind of #ignore the typos or whatever Im not fixing them #I already posted this on twitter it’s too late for me #I just gotta kill myself now

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luck-of-the-drawings · 1 month

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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

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scramratz · 5 days

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Tape gave me blisters now I gotta go into work wearing this ratty ass sports bra

#what if I killed myself #I was just getting a good bind in!#I was so euphoric!#now I gotta wait til they heal

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marlenacantswim · 2 months

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hey gang, do we all agree that ten's massive ego and god complex (or rather those traits being especially prominent in his regeneration) were a direct result of what happened in Parting of the Ways?

"marlena what the fuck do you mean" okay well think about it; ninth doctor. fresh off the time war. thinks himself unlovable, unworthy of love. just did a double genocide, including against his own people. he's returning to his old ways of lallygagging around helping humans in a more-than-desperate attempt to repress his feelings and try to mimic the person he was before the war. he's so vulnerable.

enter rose tyler. to him? she's the most amazing person in the universe. he loves her, full stop. she makes him feel like maybe he's still capable of love, but does he really trust her love for him? after all, she doesn't really know him, does she?

all that comes to a head when rose tyler becomes the bad wolf. in that moment, she sees everything. everything everything. the doctor's past, and the doctor's future. every horrible thing they did and will do.

and in that moment, with all this truth streaming constantly into her brain, most amazing person in the universe rose tyler looks at him and goes "i want to save you. you are worth saving."

bro no fucking shit ten has a motherfucking god complex, jesus christ i would too!!!

now personally i think nine would have rationalized it and been relatively Normal 'bout all that noise had he survived onwards, but unfortunately he didn't, and so when the doctor's subconscious and the universe were holding hands deciding what their new little guy should be like... well, we're already making him just for her, and she loves him.

rose tyler loves me. she loved me even when she knew me.

i'm just saying, that "Bad Wolf chose to save me" to "the laws of time are mine to command" pipeline is a straight vertical drop only a few feet long.

#there's also an argument to be made about the time vortex being responsible for his death #and how that might have contributed too #yeah sorry the inpenatrable waves of time lived inside your boyfriend and killed him #yeah and it kinda fucked up his regenerarion #so sorry girl your boyfriend's new life is tainted with the pull of ultimate power over one's domain #this won't actually mean much to you since your boyfriend will split in two #and the one you'll get to keep is too busy having a human brain and being warborn #but this will have horrible consequences for him after he turns six #and will emotionally devastate just about every other person he crosses paths with #but hey that's alright; remember that drunk guy who foretold good tidings on new year's?#yeah that was your boyfriend. he went back to see you as he was dying from the results of his god complex.#he came back to be with the reason he did everything— the reason he was— one last time #okay i'm making myself cry right now i gotta chill #running my mouth #doctor who #nuwho #tenth doctor #10th doctor #ninth doctor #9th doctor #the doctor #rose tyler

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maiaczy · 4 months

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anasui for the requests? 🩷

Here you go, the barbie of the jojoverse himself

Also there's this thing that I drew once as a result of an inside joke between me and my friend so. i guess yall can have that too

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secondbeatsongs · 2 years

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there needs to be a chart somewhere for people like me who have a lot of special interests, which lists the starting costs for every type of hobby, and then tells you exactly why it would be a bad idea for you to start that hobby.

I just think it would help me if every time I got the sudden, sharp desire to start something new, I could go to a website that says something like, "really? you think you can afford a kiln? you think you can make room for a kiln? think again! go use up all that yarn you bought two years ago, or the seed beads, or the darkroom chemicals, and then we can talk."

#personal #just gotta keep myself chill #no I can't learn stained glass right now #I cannot take up pottery #I should go pin my bug collection #and develop my film #and knit my sweater #and instead think about the cool workshop #that someday I will have #if I save my money #and work hard at my job #and defeat capitalism through direct action #and kill god #and walk backwards into hell #then I can have a kiln

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blueiight · 8 months

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U should apologize for falsely accusing a black fan of reporting accounts when this person admitted to it

#Also maybe dont tell people to kill themselves online? just a thought #yn.#Now i gotta get ready for renaissance ima get triple cross faded plz tell me not to post myself on accident

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 7 months

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"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"

#tw suicide #i wish i was joking #i am just so so tired of keeping myself alive! can't someone else do it for a change? or better yet kill me??#said something to the emergency room psych #she queried it and i confirmed i had said precisely what i intended #she blinked and said 'i usually hear that from jaded forty year olds not twenty year olds'#i won't share what because it was a highly specific explanation of precisely how i might see myself suiciding or how/whether i thought i #could. she asked me and i answered. apparently she wasn't expecting that level of detail and confidence #is it funny to anyone else that i always struggle with confidence but i can confidently tell her specifics about suicide thoughts?#this is reminding me of the fifteen year old yesterday i was conversing with and he randomly started listing all the suicide methods he #could think of and i was internally like you missed a dozen i can think of. didn't say that obvs #i don't know i am. tired. of everything. and i had a long and good conversation with an older woman from church last night (mother of the #boy. i have confided in her before she's great)#she's hte only person irl who now knows about the second suicide attempt (tho she doesn't know it was the second) and she was encouraging m #to see the psych and escalate care #but all day ive been regretting telling the psych or bro or anyone honestly #it would be so much EASIER to have said nothing and gone through with my plan #i wouldn't trust myself not to rn if i had access #i mean. i know multiple ways in this room i could kill myself. but i won't #there's a couple of specific methods that are most of the thoughts usually so they're the specific ones i gotta watch out for more if that #makes sense #ooh gosh im rambling i should shut up xD #personal #puddleglum hours

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fizzytoo · 5 months

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girl what is wrong w you

#*fizzyspeaks #why does she look like this 😭#i cant stand this fucking game #something in my mods folder always gotta be broken #now i gotta figure out what #AND IT'S NOT JUST THIS #i cant save either [killing myself emoji]#it takes 100 fucking years for my game to load i dont have the patience to 50/50 #i could save before this in the map but i couldnt save after this....#im gonna kill this bitch. im installing extreme violence #whatever im going to bed

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wulfhalls · 1 year

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post ep 5 the great didn't even happen to me. for entirely unrelated reasons I will be committing suicide immediately tho

#why do i always lose exclusively #we should have never gotten s3 #god im unironically killing myself fr why would they take them from me 🤮😭#now i gotta pretend they didnt mean everything to me otherwise id dramatically hurl myself off of a cliff fr #this is just like daemyra all over again but maybe even worse.#why is it always the ultimate otps of all time that do me like this.#txt.me #the great #the great hulu

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plaidpyjamas · 9 months

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why is everyone so obsessed with getting pregnant 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮 pls ignore me i just gotta rant a sec

#tokophobia #just want to read a cute x reader fic but y'all are obsessed with popping out babies #tbh it's weird I've always found it weird af #why would you EVER want to be pregnant??????????????#it's basically a parasite???? it could kill you???? even if it doesn't it permanently fucks your body up PLUS #now ya gotta deal with the little shit who WILL NOT let you sleep #no thanks I've help raise enough siblings I'm not chaining myself to one for a minimum of 18 years #plus pregnant bodies look so gross I'm not sorry i don't want to touch your parasite-swollen stomach i DON'T want to feel it #why do they ALWAYS grab you wrist and FORCE you to feel their nasty growth??!!!?!?!??#end rant I'll go play overwatch and calm down

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nelyoslegalteam · 2 months

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I don’t know murdoc but I still want to know!! hit us with #7: what do they smell like?

black tea. bergamot. lavender. vanilla. maybe just a little bit of orange blossom.

... it's london fog. murdoc smells like london fog to me. specifically london fog made with lavender earl grey. i imagine he wouldn't use perfumes or scented oils or anything like that on himself - that's far too much sensory input - but he creates and blends brews of tea. so i imagine he smells like his craft, as one tends to do.

it helps not only that he likes the smell of tea, but that he always has tea on him, or at least in arm's reach. tea is comforting to him. tea scents are comforting, good sensory input. and you never know when you might need to brew up a nice, warm cup for someone who needs it.

so yeah lmao boy's got tea leaves in his pockets. at least he smells good kjdhfdskjsm.

and thank you so much for indulging me!!! since you've said you don't know him - murdoc is my hobbit bard player character in @potatoobsessed999's tolkienverse d&d campaign, the mirkwood campaign!! i've uh. talked about him quite a bit, if you want to check this out. or this. or this. x3

#thank you so much anon for sending me asks about my little guy i would kill and die for you ;w;#you have my bow and my sword and my axe #i just love my little guy a lot!!!#;ww; <3333333333 #spent entirely too long trying to figure out if there was a word for someone who like. comes up with different tea blends and like.#picks/dries the herbs themself. IN ADDITION to brewing it.#like murdoc Makes Teas. he makes blends that taste/smell like people and places he cares about. or pair w/ things they like.#he has a brew for himself & that's the one i think he smells like.#but lavender earl grey is my irl favorite and i associated him with it accidentally so now that's His Brew to me #even if that's horribly unoriginal of me #brb accidentally made myself crave lavender earl grey london fog while writing this gotta make it for myself now #mirkwood campaign #nelyo askbox

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high-lagaard · 2 months

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Mock exam week time im gonna die

#nocti talks tag #hlp exam tmrw gotta have me dead on the table. i hate hlp. (<- was an hlp fan last year and is now batshit terrible at it)#hlp is. humanités littérature philosophie so yeah philosophy. and literature. which is interesting but not when your teachers suck #the day after is llce so eng literature which means its gotta be easy in theory. nothing to revise rlly #then its general philosophy exam which will also kill me because i suck at it this year #im gonna reward myself for just passing these exams by subscribing to a fanbox tho im looking forward to that #btw im still sick to the point of lightly throwing up when coughing this really isnt an optimal state to pass exams in...

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avatardoggo · 7 months

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when you meet a Guy and he is 99.9% perfection but the Holy Spirit says no

#i don’t like like guys often (my last crush was high school) so when i do i just 😳 get a lil fluttered #soo when i met this guy the first time i was like o he’s cute and sweet and just easy to talk to and i was like if i allowed myself j could #let myself like him but then i didn’t see him for a while kinda forgot about him one of my friends is close with him so id see him on his i #story a lot this summer and it was like oh ya he’s cute whatever #but last saturday i saw his at this lil party and omgoodness he’s so cute in person #and GUYS!! MUTUALS MY BELOVED 😭🥹🫠🤭😫 HE TAUGHT ME HKW TO PLAY POOL AND HE WAS TOUCHING MY HAND AKSKDKJDKDKFKFJJFJFF #and there was a lot of casual touching and stuff omgoodness and he was buying everyone soda and stuff and he smelt sooo good #and tHEN AT THE END OF THE NIGHT I GAVE HIM MY SNAP #but then i was praying when i got home before bed and was talking to the Holy Spirit and He was like you could have a relationship w/ this #person and everything would be great physically and emotionally but you will suffer spirtiually and then i started thinking about the progr #ss i've made this summer w/ my relationship w/ God and ya it's definitely not worth it i wouldn't trade Jesus for anything or one #soo now i have to kill the streak i have with him on snap bc it's just not wise to be talking back and forth yk? and if God says so i gotta #do it #ig it's hard cause it's nice being liked liking someone who likes you but God knows better than me soooooo pay ya girl listens and has #and i was talking to my friend who knows him better than me and she was like ya he's such a sweet kind funny guy but he doesn't have a rela #ionship w/ God as far as she knows sooo #the strength to withstand 😭#vk overshares in the tags

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bootyful-seventeen · 7 months

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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

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oflgtfol · 14 days

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on gawd i mentioned a few days ago my undergrad internship supervisor reached out to me asking if i’d be interested in a graduate internship. and so i just had a zoom meeting w her today to discuss it and like. i was expecting it for the fall semester once i was officially a student again but somehow i just walked out of that zoom meeting with an internship starting this summer. aka the end of this month

#DCREAMS #so uhm #its an internship but its paid so its. basicallyyyyy a part time job #especially now that the grad position is 15 hrs a week. like thats a part time job .#uhm. anyway. so now. basically. between michaels. my other job. and now this internship #im working three jobs ?!?! starting memorial day week #SHITS NUTS #i wasnt expecting it to start over the summer like mentally im like oh im not gonna be a student again till the fall #so i also just assumed that the internship wouldnt be till fall also #but she was like. hey. you can start over summer if you want. if youre available a few days a week #and i was like. yeah sure i can come in once or twice #<- IS FUCKING DERANGED #i was working 60 hours a week last summwr what the fuck am i gonna do with an additional 15 #GIRLLLLL im killing myself why do i do this to myself #im not mentally prepared to quit michaels just yet though :(#i wanted to wait till the fall semester first #i gotta rearrange my fucking life rn. having a crisis #brot posts

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