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#I feel like I need to call out of work tomorrow
pinkyqil · 11 hours
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Flirt // Jenni hermoso x r
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Jenni was a flirt least to say she could flit with anyone as long has it as lips head and a body anything else wouldn't matter to her. So that why you felt really confused with your "relationship". with her cause she always gave you mixed signals that rarely made any sense to you.
One day she's all over you complimenting you, making you blush and all as it the usual Jenni package. next thing you know someone else is getting the same treatment that she gives or how she likes to call it "her delicate taste".
That made absolutely no sense to you but one thing you knew was that you were done. with anything that had to do with Jennifer hermoso you didn't want a part of it unless it was something serious. But it didn't look like it things where going to change with her so you thought.
You started pulling away from jenni it went from you two always partnering up to you straight up ignoring her and picking someone else as your partner.
To dismissing her and canceling plans that she made cause you knew it would be some different by tomorrow.
Slowly a hole formed in your friendship you both couldn't even spare each other a glance or a simple greeting.
The only time you would actually say a few words would be around game days where you needed to communicate with jenni but that wasn't something you both could do outside of work.
It honestly broke your heart to be pulling away from her like this. You missed her smile silly jokes that she would make trying to lighting up the room.how she would be there whenever you needed something or that you weren't feeling well she was always by your side like your order half.
Least to say jenni also felt the same way her heart felt incomplete like the other pieces to it was missing. but she knew one thing and it was to make it up too you for whatever she did cause her heart couldn't take you acting like she didn't exist.
The last few days you noticed Jenni putting in some efforts but you would always denie her and.
still continue shutting her out she tried everything from leaving notes and your favorites chocolate in your cubby opening the door for you. helping you carry heavy equipment without calling out for help but you wouldn't come forward.
It wasn't that you heated what jenni was doing you loved it all but your heart wasn't ready for what would happen if you guys where to talk it out.
Would things go back to the same way with how she was treating you or would you two become something. Was what you wondered.
Jenni's act had been going on forever but still she didn't get any improvement from you side always the cold shoulder and nothing more for her.
Today she jenni had planned to conner you when everybody as left as she knew you loved taking your time.
Your day went on with how it usual was Jenni still left you some notes and perfume in your cubby for when you arrived but you hadn't seen her anyway around the training grounds which was quite weird as she hung out with her group of people. But needless it was none of your busses.
You were tye last one to shower as everyone else had left or that what you think.you quickly dressed up and started existing the building until you felt a strange but familiar hands grab you by the waist.
It was none other than jenni she looked broken and hurt. All you could do was stare at her.
"What do you want hermoso". you asked her as you tried pulling your hands away.
" I just want to talk to you it would only take a few minutes". She said
"Well get talking cause I didn't have enough time to spend with you in my way".
She took a deep breath before speaking.
"I know that lately have been giving you on and off signals and just acting out as if you aren't important to me which is false so I just wanted' to tell you that I love you so much more than a friend we've both been through anything".
anyone can imagine and I just can't keep living like this knowing that j hurt you instead of protecting you so I just wan to apologize for that". She said as she took time to catch her breath.
"oh jenni you don't understand how long I waited for you to tell me how you feel cause I' also share the same feelings as you, I love you more than anything else that you can imagine"
and it hurt me a lot seeing how you would always treat me I love you jenni hermoso". You told her not expecting all that to come out of your mouth.
"So will I be able to treat you out to a date". She asked
"Yes you can have honestly seen the way that you've improved and I love it". you told her before tip-toeing and leaving a peck on her lips.
"You deserve it". You said
"I guess I do". She replied back
"So I'll see you saturday for dinner". She asked
"Definitely". You told as you walked away holding the notes that she had been living for you onto your chest.
Maybe luck was on your side after all and jenni wasn't just a flit after all.
A/n: hope y'all enjoy this read and if you see any mistakes no you don't cause I just finished writing this at 12:18 so mistakes shall be fixed later. anyway feedbacks, request and comments or if you want to chat with me inboxes are always opened and everything else is appreciated and don't forget to take care of yourself 💗
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4unnyr0se · 2 days
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pookie pls can you write for gojo where reader and him are coworkers at jujutsu high and have a dynamic similar to utahime and gojo? and like yaga is always making them work together even tho they don’t like eachother, but Gojo lowkey gets off on reader being annoyed at him so there is *tension*? 🥺🥺🥺
❥ whole lotta attitude | satoru gojo
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warnings: enemies to lovers, gojo is a dickhead but it's okay because he's gojo, fem! reader, unprotected sex, office sex (im a slut for office sex), multiple orgasms, wall sex, roughness, one hickey, spanking, oral sex (m! receiving), making out, filthy filthy words are spoken, hella sexual tension, reader hates gojo but gojo loooooves her, gojo gets slapped once, degrading, praise, hair pulling, hate(?) sex, gojo texts like a super senior, a little bit of a textfic but not rlly, fluff at the end
MDNI | 18+ content
word count -> 3.6k
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Jujutsu High was quiet today. That wasn’t unusual because most of the students were either out on missions or in Shokos’ office experiencing whatever the hell she called “medicine.” The quiet was nice, strangely calming, and reassuring. Being a jujutsu sorcerer yourself, calm was a foreign feeling. The cool breeze blew your hair softly in the wind, the songbirds tweeting a melody that was most becoming on this quiet say. You took a deep breath in as you leaned against a wooden pole, admiring how clear the sky was. Everything was simply perfect. If tomorrow was your last day alive, today would be the most wonderful send-off.
“Hey there princess! I missed you!” 
And just like that, there was no more peace. No more tranquility, no more sing-song bird crap. There’s only Satoru Gojo and his humongous ego that crushes anyone within a 50-foot radius. 
His deep voice was laced with a sickly sweet playful tone that made you want to grab his collar and punch him right in his perfect nose. God, you fucking hated him. He was the bane of your existence with his smug attitude and that stupid infinity that he only turned off when you were around. Did he seriously think you were that weak, and he didn’t even need to use infinity because he could defeat you within a millisecond? Stupid fucking handsome bastard, you hated him with every fiber of your being. 
“What, you’re ignoring me now? Don’t be like that, it’s not nice!” Gojo laughed and practically teleported to where you were sitting, his eyes no doubt sparkling under that black blindfold he always wore. 
You groaned and rolled your eyes, crossing your arms and looking away from the smug bastard. “Fuck off, Gojo. I was having a perfectly peaceful afternoon before your very existence ruined it for me.” You pinched your temple with your index finger and thumb, rubbing the stressed skin. “I was calm for once in my damn life. You really do have a talent for making me wish I was six feet under.”
Gojo playfully pouted and shifted himself to your other side, taking your hand off your temple. He cradled it with his own, royally pissing you off in the process. “Why are you always so grumpy all the time, huh? Is it because your students are always out on missions instead of keeping little ol’ your company?” He mocked slightly, letting go of your hand. His blue eyes sparkled beneath his blindfold, filled with mischief. “I could keep your company, you know that right? Or is Little Miss Grumpy Pants too high and mighty to give me a shot?”
“I would literally rather make out with Jogo than spend more time with you than I’m legally required.”
“Ouch, that hurt.”
“Too bad, so sad.” You smirked, shoving him away. If anyone else had seen that they would have been shocked. The mighty Satoru Gojo, pushed to the ground by a grade two sorcerer. You rose up from the wooden desk and dusted yourself off, walking away as quickly as you could in your tennis shoes.
“I always look forward to these meetings you know!” Gojo yelled at you in the distance only to see the faintest image of your middle finger wiggling at him. Gojo smirked and put down the hem of his blindfold, his hair returning to its usual upright position. 
You stormed back into your office and locked the door shut, sliding down against the mahogany doorframe in exhaustion. How was it possible that just being in his presence absolutely drained you of all resolve? Was he really that strong, or was he just super fucking annoying? You had no idea, no one ever had any idea when it came to Satoru Gojo. 
The beautiful day finally came to an end and you got back to your apartment, collapsing onto your couch. Most jujutsu sorcerers had house provided to them by their clans, but that was not your case. Your neighbors thought you were a teacher at some religious school deep in the country side. It was the best excuse you could come up with for being gone for practically days at a time. Maybe the only bus to the train station broke down or something, any old excuse like that in order to keep the nosy (and mostly elderly) fellow tennents off your back.
“Fuck my life…” You groaned, placing your head in your hands as you stumbled over to your cozy bedroom, it’s warm environment almost giving you a hug in its own way. You slipped into your pajamas and curled up under the covers, setting your alarm on your phone for the next morning. Just as you were about to close your eyes, your phone started to buzz. At first it was just a single vibration, probably a text from your mother or something. But the buzzes and vibrations kept coming until your phone was practically moving itself off the bed.
You groaned in annoyance and turned over, checking the notification center to see who the hell had the nerve to text you nine times in a row. And sure enough, sporting the contact photo of a .5 that he took of himself when he stole your phone that one time, Satoru fucking Gojo had spam texted you at 11:41PM.
“What the actual hell?” You whispered, unlocking your phone to see what could possibly be this important. Nothing was ever this important past 10PM, not even if your apartment building was on fucking fire.
The messages plagued your screen, his smirking face in the contact photo made you even more angry. And yet a faint blush found itself creeping up against your face. Maybe it was the sheer excitement of a man texting you at night, or maybe deep down you actually liked Gojo. You smacked yourself lightly on the cheek, trying to erase that thought from your sleep-ridden mind.
Worst person alive: heyyyy
Worst person alive: r u up???
Worst person alive: theres no way u actually went to bed, omg ur such a grandma
Worst person alive: im bored talk to me
Worst person alive: megumi wont answer my texts :(( i think he hates me
Worst person alive: i know ur awake, u were active three minutes ago on insta
Worst person alive: ik u blocked me on their but jokes on u i have 5 other accounts
Worst person alive: pls pls pls pls talk to me im dying over here princess
Worst person alive: btw yaga assigned us on a mission tmrw mwah
Your eyed widened at the last message, your hands gripped the phone with white-knuckle strength. “Fucker!” You yelled, turning off your phone before melting under the covers. Why did Yaga have to do this to you? You and Gojo together was torture enough, but now you had to do actual work with each other? Gojo was grossly incompetent at anything that didn’t involve exorcising cursed spirits. 
You sighed and closed your eyes, silently praying that a curse would somehow break into your bedroom and murder you right then and there. But unfortuanly, you woke up to your alarm blaring in your ear the next morning.
Gojo and yourself were sat in Yaga’s office, Gojo smirking at you the entire time. You blushed under his gaze, hands gripping the edges of your seat as you waited for Yaga to tell you what the assignment was. Was Yaga being late on purpose just to mess with you? Did you manage to piss him off somehow? A million questions were flying through your mind and there was no answer in sight. 
“I saw you read my messages princess.” Gojo finally spoke, leaning forward. He was significantly taller over you, his towering muscular frame intimating you. “Why didn’t you respond? I was really bored. It’s rude to ignore your friends.” He spoke, that same sticky and syrupy voice coming back to haunt you.
“Maybe that’s because we aren’t friends, Gojo.” You scoffed, flipping your hair behind your back. “Could you please just shut up until Yaga gets here? If I have to listen to you mock me again I might actually explode.” Sighing, you placed your face in your hands.
“Actually,” Gojo purred, getting up from his seat only to sit down in Yaga’s velvet office chair. “Yaga doesn’t have a mission for us, princess.” He kicked his feet up on the desk, taking off his blindfold. His snowy white hair fell into a beautiful mess, with his painfully gorgeous blue eyes lighting up his already hellishly handsome face.
You looked up from your hands to raise an eyebrow, your face immediately turning a bright red upon seeing Gojo without his signature blindfold. “I’m sorry, what? I don’t follow.”
Gojo tutted and threw the black fabric onto your lap, his eyes still staring at your blushing face. Gojo found it simply adorable how you would always get so flustered, so annoyed in his presence. How you would always deny being attracted to him, how you swore up and down that he was put on this Earth to make your life a living hell. But he noticed that you would always squeeze your thighs together when he spoke. It was precious, really. How you thought you could hide your painfully obvious desire for him.
“Ae you hard of hearing or something, princess?” Gojo purred, leaning forward to he could grab onto the collar of your navy blue work uniform. With just a snap of his wrists his face was mere centimeters away from your own, the tips of your noses were pressed up against each other so perfectly. You felt your breathing quicken, the atmosphere in Yaga’s office so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. “I said that Yaga never gave us a fucking mission. I just wanted to see you again.” He breathed out, his steaming air causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand up. His grip on your collar tighten, his eyes were filled with desire. Desire for you that’s long overdue to be broken.
Your brows furrowed at you gripped onto his wrist, trying your best to pry his hand away from your uniform collar. Twisting and turning his wrist every which way turned out ot be fruitless, causing you to grow ever more angry and flustered. Fuck Gojo and his superhuman abilities, fuck him for being the strongest. 
Instead, your hand came flying at his face. Your palm collided with his flesh, the cold stinging sensation snapping Gojo out of his lustful trance. His spare hand crept onto his cheek, rubbing the mark softly. You gulped, nervous to see how the strongest jujutsu sorcerer would react to getting slapped across the face by a grade two. 
He smirked and threw his head back slightly, a dark chuckle emitting from his throat. He looked back down at you, his grip on your collar so strong that you started to choke. “God, I was hoping you would fucking do that.” 
In an instant his lips were on yours, roughly clashing against each other. It took every fiber of his being to not rip all your clothes off right then and there, to bend you over Yaga’s desk and fuck you senseless. Oh how long Gojo had waited to feel your plump lips being ravaged by his own, and how deliciously rewarding it was to play the long game. Finally your lips were melding perfectly with each other, his tongue picking up just the faintest taste of peach chapstick. 
Gojo pulled away from the kiss after about a minute, a thick strand of saliva connecting your lips. He sighed in pleasue as his eye landed on your flustered face, your mouth still agape like a slut.
“So fucking pretty like this,” he muttered, stepping out from behind the desk. He pulled you out of your chair and trapped you against the wall, his muscular torso being so easily felt under the think fabric of the uniforms the school provided. “Been wanting to kiss you since forever, y’know.” He mumbled, dragging his callosued hands up and down the clothed snatches of your wasit. “Your lips taste even better than I imaged, sweetness.”
You blushed at his sultry words, the faint glim in his ocean blue eyes only making your knees evern weaker. Slowly but carefully, your arms wrapped themselves around his broad shoulders. “You’re still on my shitlist,” you muttered, standing on the tips of your toes to meet his eyeline.
“And you’re as stubborn as ever, princess.” Gojo purred picking you up by the bottoms of your thighs, Your legs wrapped instinctively around his waist, making it look like a scene straight out of a movie. “Such a pretty mouth, you gonna let me fuck it?” He whispered, rubbing circled on your bare thighs. The modest jujutsu skirt you wore covered your legs quite nicely, so you never really felt the need to wear tights. And that drove Gojo fucking wild.
“Depends, what’s in it for me?” You smirked, tugging lightly on the baby hairs at the back of his head. Gojo hissed in pleasure, kind of proud that you were being equally as bratty to him as he was to you. 
“The best fuck you’ll ever get, plus some more.” Gojo let go of your thighs, letting you drop onto your knees. You looked up at him, gulping in anticipation as you saw the imprint of his throbbing erection covered by his pants. “You gotta get me prepared first, princess. Or else I might not fuck that pussy as good, got it?” His voice was dripping with desire for you as his expert hands pulled down his pants, tossing them aside along with his boxers. His cock tapped against his shirt, leaving the smallest precum stain.
You bit down on your lip at the sight of his cock, moving yourself foreward. Ever so carefully, your right hand gripping onto the base of his cock. Tongue falling out of your mouth, you took his cock in your wet cavern slowly, your cheeks hollowing out to accommodate his girth and length.
“Shit princess, just like that. Yeah, I knew you would be good at suckin’ dick.” Gojo praised, offering you a slanted smile as your hands stroked what your mouth couldn’t fit. His large hand tangled itself into your messy hair, tugging on the roots ever so gently. His hips bucked into your mouth ever so slowly, almost painfully slow. He treated you like you were so fragile, sharp contrast to when he had you pinned against the wall with his tongue shoved down your throat.
He groaned in pleasure as his cock his the back of his throat, his hips driving his member down your throat even faster. His grip on your hair tighten, causing a small pool of tears to well in the corner of your eye. A singular droplet ran down your pretty little face, which Gojo thought was just the cutest little thing.
“Oh, is my princess crying? What, my dick to big for your slutty little mouth?” His hips stopped snapping into your face, pulling your mouth off of his member slowly. “Well, if you can’t handle my dick in your mouth,” He grabbed your arm, throwing you against the desk. His pushed you down so your face was against the hard mahogany wood, with your ass up and on display for Gojo to smack. “Then maybe your pretty pussy will be able to handle me, hm?”
He shoved your skirt above your ass, the blue material bunching the divet in your waist. His hand ran over your soaked panties, shoving them aside to expose your soaked core to the cold office air. “So pretty f’me…” Gojo mumbled, gathering up some of your slick on his thumb and popping it inside of his mouth. “Delicious too, maybe you’ll be my dinner one day. Wouldn’t you like that, princess?” He teased, his hand cracking against the supple flesh of your perfect ass.
“Fuck!” you cried out, your hands gripping onto the wooden desk for dear life. You grew increasingly frustrated, especially knowing that Gojo was taking immense pleasure in making you wait tt get fucked. “Dammit Gojo, just fuck me already!” You demanded, your eyes being slightly covered by your mess of hair falling in front of them. 
He smacked his hand across your ass again, alighting his cock with your sobbing entrance. “You sure got a whole lotta attitude, princess.” He purred, teasing your hole with his mushroom head. “I’ll be sure to fuck it outta you, don’t you worry your pretty little head.”
He shoved his cock inside of you, hissing as your tight walls enveloped his member. You cried out in both pain and pleasure, having never experienced someone as big or as girthy inside of you. Sure, you had slept around before but this time he might actually make you cum. You wouldn’t have to fake an orgasm just for it to end.
“Shit, Gojo!” You screamed, lifting your head up from the desk to meet his gaze from behind. “Y-you’re too fuckin’ big, you know that?”
Gojo smirked and started to slowly thrust himself in and out of your weeping cunt, the sound of his groans mixing with your moans of pleasure filling the chilly office. “God, you’re so fuckin’ tight. Squeezing me already, princess? Good fuckin’ slut.” He grunted, pulling your hair back so your neck was against his mouth. His hips were now snapping furiously at your ass, his balls clapping against the skin. “You won’t mind if I give you a little mark, right? Gotta make sure you remember being bent over like this, pretty thing.”
His sharp teeth bit down onto your neck, sucking a nasty purple circle right where your jugular would be. The stimulation was utterly overwhelming, your mouth was agape and your throat was starting to hurt from all your cries. “Fuck, such a good slut for me.”
Gojo’s rough and callosued hands reached under your top to grope one of your tits, his fingers pinching and rubbing your nipple under the thin fabric. He could feel your orgasm was fast approaching the way you squeezed onto his cock, almost like your body was trying to suck him in even deeper inside of you. “Gojo, fuck! T-Too fucking handsy!” You managed to moan out, your brain slowly starting to turn to mush as the coil in your belly threatened to snap at any minte. “Fuck, gonna fucking cum!”
Gojo smirked and smacked your ass once more, slipping his hand from behind you to rub on your sensitive clit. “Cum all over this cock baby, f-fuck. Be a good fucking girl.” He demanded in your ear, his fingers now furiously rubbing themselves on your clit while his cock hit every place it needed to.
With a wanton gasp you threw your head back onto his shoulders, your orgasm washing over you like tsunami or a tidal wave. Wave after wave of pure bliss crashed over your every nerve, your eyes feeling fuzzy as you swore you could see stars.
“Fuck, holy fuck! Gojo, oh my fucking God!” you sobbed, your bottom lip trembling as you came down from your high. Gojo sighed and began to kiss your neck gently, his thrusts becoming faster and desperate as he felt his own euphoria approaching.
“Shit, gonna cum princess. Lemme cum inside of you, yeah? God you’re so fucking warm and tight, fuck!” He moaned into your neck, the movement of his hips becoming staggering and sloppy as his hot ropes of sticky cum coated your insides, filling you up so nicely. “F-fuck, oh my god…”
Gojo pulled out of you, smirking to himself as he saw his cum leak from your sloppy pussy. “Fucking amazing, princess.” He bent down to pick up his boxers and pants, putting them on quickly. 
You got up from leaning over the desk and turned around, your face flushed and your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead. Your hands still gripping onto the table, your pretty lips slightly agape. “Holy shit…I think that was the best sex I’ve ever fucking had.” You breathed out, brushing the sweaty babyhairs out of your face.
Gojo smiled and bent down slightly, kissing your nose with a gentleness that was the complete opposite of how he fucked you. “I’ve been wanting to do that sicne I met you, you know.” 
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, adjusting your stretched-out shirt collar. “Stop lying, you already fucked me. No need to lie anymore, Gojo.”
He frowned and grabbed onto your hand, his thumb carefully rubbing onto the back of it. “I’m not lying, you know.”
Raising an eyebrow you looked into his blue eyes, curious as to why there wasn’t a hint of deception swirling around in his oceans of blue. “Gojo…are you being serious?” You whispered, a blush once again covering your face. It wasn’t a blush of desire but a blush of shyness, like you were sixteen years old and just got confessed to.
“Satoru,” he spoke, bringing your hand to cup his pale face. “Call me Satoru, please.”
You smiled and rolled your eyes once more, your hand gently petting his flushed face. You took a step towards him, allowing Gojo to wrap his other hand around your waist. You two held each other in Yaga’s office, the scent of sex and passionate still filling up the otherwise stiff air.
“What are you gonna call me then, Satoru?” You softly spoke, standing on the tips of your toes so your lips were hovering against his once more. Gojo offered you a gentle smile, pecking your lips tenderly.
“I’m gonna call you mine.”
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miinatozakiii · 1 day
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you’re the sunflower (i think your love would be too much)
kim dahyun x fem!reader ; fluff
synopsis: dahyun's a busy woman and mother, you're willing to do anything to help her out.
warnings: dahyun is a single mother ; fluff and fluff my fav forever ; I can't really think of what else there is ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread
a/n: dubu day! short n sweet
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dahyun trudges home, her work bag feeling heavier on her shoulder as she walks up the three steps leading to the door of her house.
when she opens the door, she finds her small townhouse completely dark, no lights on except some peaking out form the stairs to the second level.
your car was still in the driveway, so you were still here too, with her daughter, may.
she sets her bag on the counter, then slips off her jacket before hanging it on the coat rack beside the door. a soft sigh leaves her lips as she settles down on the couch, relaxing her shoulders and closing her eyes.
then, the faint sound of footsteps quietly rings throughout the house.
the light turns on, dahyuns eyes open, and she turns to the right to see a familiar figure creeping down the stairs.
a smile spreads across her face as she watches you try your best to put your backpack on, desperately avoiding any sudden movement that’ll ring the keychains on the zippers.
dahyun grins. “hey.”
she watches you jump, a noticeable gasp leaving your lips as you turn to see her.
“jesus,” you mutter, “you scared me.”
she giggles, then makes her way over to you.
“is she asleep?”
“yup, like a baby.” you assure. dahyuns hair is loose, strands falling over her face. you bring your pointer finger over to brush them away. “how was work?”
her heart flutters before answering. “a little tiring, the usual.”
“aw, sorry to hear.” you say, frowning. “well, i ordered takeout. there’s some leftover chinese in the fridge for you, i wasn’t sure if you’d have time to eat dinner.”
she can’t help but feel all bashful from your consideration, heart melting as soon as she hears your words.
“thank you y/n, you’re so sweet.”
“ah, anything for you. it’s never a problem for me.” you laugh the sincerity of your response off, shaking your hand. “i’d love to eat with you, but i really have to get home early. i have some meeting tomorrow that’s mandatory, i don’t know why.”
she frowns, pursing her lips a bit.
you put your hand on her shoulder, leaving it there for a bit as you look at her. you open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, not until dahyun places her hand on yours and beats you to breaking the silence.
“well, i hope that meeting goes well. thank you for taking care of may.”
“it’s no problem, i’ll see you…?”
“we’ll see, i don’t want to trouble you.”
“never trouble if it’s you.” you giggle softly, eyes soften in as you linger on each feature on her face. “i’ll get going now, text me if you need me — and i mean it.”
dahyun laughs, “fine, fine.”
you put your hands in your pocket, heading towards the front door and opening it before pausing and turning towards dahyun.
“goodnight.”
she smiles.
“sleep tight.”
-
work gets more hectic for dahyun, deadlines are plastered across her calendar, her boss has been on edge, and she doesn’t have time to take care of may.
she calls you up to ask if you’re free to take care of her, and when you say yes, she thanks you at least ten times, followed by a string of apologies.
the day later you show up to pick up her daughter from school, taking her home and calling dahyun to let her know everything is fine. you hear her voice on the other end of the line, rushed apologies spew out her mouth.
“it’s fine hyun, don’t worry, seriously.”
you hear her sigh at the end of the line, probably pinching the bridge of her nose too.
“i owe you the world.”
“oh, just keep working to support you and your daughter. i don’t need anything but the assurance that you’re both fine.”
dahyun might tear up after hearing the sincerity in your voice.
“you’re the sweetest person i know y/n.”
“and you’re even sweet hyun, get back to work okay? besides, spending time with may is better than rotting in my apartment.”
once you hit a red light, you look over to may, who’s eyes are threatening to close in the passengers seat. first grade must be tiring.
“okay, okay. i’ll see you this evening y/n, im sorry, and thank you.”
“take care of yourself hyunie, ill see you.”
both smiling, you two end the call at the same time.
dahyun looks at her screen, groaning frustratedly before pulling up spreadsheets and reminders. she starts to type away, her mind trailing off here and there to think of you, and how grateful she is.
on your side, you’ve just reached dahyun’s place, pulling up in the parking spot next to where she usually parks. you look over to see may, who’s asleep with the artwork she’s made in her arms, and smile lovingly.
you’ve known may since she was born, the first person to hold her was you.
she’s someone you’ve cared for over the years, you’re almost like a godmother to her with how often you see and spend time with her. out of the few people you keep close, she’s one of them.
carrying her in your arms, you walk up the steps and type in the code that unlocks the door. dahyun gave you the code from how often you visited. you step inside and hear a small mumble in your ear, may shifts her head while it rests on your shoulder.
"is mommy home yet?"
you place your hand on her head, soothing her scalp. "she's busy with work, she'll be home later."
she hums into your shirt as you find your way to the couch, then you set her down. she lays down on the little pillow before you pull away from her, which urges her to wake up a bit.
you hear her stomach rumble and giggle. "someone's hungry."
the rest of the afternoon into the evening is relatively calming. may sits next to you on the couch while you work on something for your company.
there's a clipboard in her lap and markers, crayons, as well as scissors beside her. you two sing along to the songs playing on your computer while both of you work on whatever it is that needs to be done, enjoying each other's presence and appreciating the tenderness of the moment.
after thirty minutes of work, you decide to take a little break, stretching your arms out and looking over to snoop at what she's working on.
she's scribbling, mixing colors that work nicely together to make something cute looking around the words "happy birthday mom."
right, it's dahyun's birthday tomorrow.
you remember the first birthday of hers that you spent with her, a year before may was born. it was in her apartment, and only you were there because everyone had their finals and exams.
it was an hour before her birthday ended, she was cooped up in her room studying because she had tried to convince everyone it was fine and that the weekend would be a better time for something big. but you were stubborn, not wanting any birthday to be put to waste.
the memory of spending the last hour of her twenty-first birthday crosses your mind and it makes you smile. you look at may, her features resembling her mothers, the same features you adore; their eyes and noses were nearly identical.
"that's beautiful may."
"thank you y/n, it's for my mom."
"i can see that." you respond, watching closely. "can I make one?"
she nods eagerly, practically jumping out the seat to run over to where dahyun's desk is in the other room. seconds later she's back with a blank paper and a hardcover book for you to write on it, handing it over and trying her best not to show her struggling to hold the heavy book.
may's head rests against your shoulder as she leans on you, continuing to scribble and you catch the little doodle of her and her mom together, with you standing next to them as well. your lips turn up into a smile.
"y/n?"
"yes?"
she scribbles something similar to how your hair is done onto the stick figure. "do you love my mom?"
"i've known her forever; of course i love your mom."
"no, do you love mommy like people with a mom and dad love each other?"
may didn't have a dad; he was simply out of the picture. it saddens you to think about her questions, which are born from curiosity but still tug at your heartstrings. and you love dahyun deeply, beyond words. she’s your rock, and you’ve done everything you could for her and will continue to do so. ss you look at the girl in front of you, patiently waiting for an answer, all you can see is a reflection of the person you love the most.
"i--" you pause, biting your lip. "that's a difficult question."
"i always see my friends with their parents, and I think my mommy loves you like that." kids say things with such deeper meanings, things that are so complex without knowing. her response catches you off guard. "the way their mom's and dad's are with each other reminds me of the two of you."
you try to laugh off the feeling of your body starting to tense up. "well, that's wonderful to hear that they love each other so much. and I don't think your mom has much time to love me like that."
"well, whenever she does have time i think she loves you."
jesus, she sounds like momo convincing you your feelings for dahyun were mutual the day before graduation. it couldn't be true, but her daughter convincing you this time -- it makes you rethink it all.
"you're silly, may. let's finish these drawings up before she gets here."
may drops the topic, but you still think about the weight of her words. if her daughter can pick up the same things as momo, could it be true? you don't want to think too hard about that, it's too complicated. it's always been something you didn't want to put on dahyun; you and your feelings.
an hour passes by, but it feels like seconds.
may steals your phone and with her little fingers she plays a few of your favorite songs. they range from radio music that both of you have memorized to songs from movies you've watched with her and her mother. when it switches to slower songs that are queued automatically, the five hours of sleep from the night creep up to you.
the little girl continues to draw on her paper, then asks you a question about what you've been working on, only to earn no response.
she looks over to see your mouth partially open and your head leaned back. your arms are limp, the marker you had been writing with sits loosely in between your fingers, and your breathing is labored.
she tries to shake you awake, but fails. your head falls down at an angle now, which makes may laugh. she decides to take your paper and her's away after checking the time on your phone; her mom would be home soon.
may returns to see you asleep still, then decides to join you. she returns to the position from before, now laying again you and closing her eyes before mumbling a low, "goodnight y/n, you must be very sleepy."
--
it's a little over half past nine when dahyun reaches her house, unlocking the door with her bag hung on her shoulder.
it's late, the lights are still on, and she hears a faint melody playing. she trudges over to the living room, smiling immediately at what she sees before her.
your head is angled uncomfortably, your arm around may, with your mouth slightly open. dahyun finds it all so adorable. her daughter is snoring softly, a small trail of drool escaping from the corner of her lips. the sight urges dahyun to find her phone and snap a picture, which she immediately adds to her favorites.
she places her bag down on the coffee table in front of you two, then slowly lifts her daughter into her arms, trying not to wake the two of you. she lets may rest her head on her shoulder as she carries her up to her daughters bedroom, placing the little girl on her bed and tucking her in.
dahyun places a kiss on the little girls forehead, which nudges her awake. "mommy?'
"shhh, sweetheart, it's time for bed."
"okay... but y/n is still sleeping... can she stay?"
"sweetheart," dahyun holds her daughters hand and brings it up to her lips, placing a warm kiss. "of course, I was going to make her sleepover too, it's quite late."
may's eyes are half open, she's tired beyond measure, but still, she manages to murmur a sleepy response that shakes dahyun up. "you love her a lot, don't you. like my friends' mom's and dad's love each other."
what are they teaching at schools these days? how to analyze romantic literature?
"i--" dahyun sighs out, pursing her lips. "it's late, get some rest honey. i don't have work tomorrow, let's talk about this tomorrow when you're awake."
may hums and dahyun kisses her forehead once more before heading to the doorframe, lingering there before she turns off the light and closes the door.
she walks back downstairs to find you still asleep on the couch, head angled even worse. if you had slept like that for a few hours more, she might just have you at the chiropractor.
dahyun moves your hair out your face and sits you up correctly -- it wakes you up.
"what..." you mutter sleepily, subconsciously leaning against dahyun's hand. you sigh softly, happily, and smile once you blink a couple times to meet dahyun's face. you could never get tired of those features, and you could make them out even in a thick fog. "you're home."
"i am."
you put your hand on hers. "happy birthday."
"it's not midnight yet."
"happy early birthday then."
you're a little more awake now, awake enough to stand up and face dahyun, who's looking at you with concern.
"stay the night." it sounds like an order from her. "it's too late for you to go home."
"i don't want to cause trouble--"
"y/n, be serious. you're never trouble." dahyun sighs, right before taking your hand in hers and leading you to the stairs. "besides, I don't work tomorrow since I finished everything. that's why I was out so late."
"okay."
you let her drag you upstairs, then into her room. you let her push you into one of the bathrooms, let her hand you one of the shorts you left and one of her oversized t-shirts that still fits a little snug on you. you let her convince you to stay in her room with her and not the couch.
it's eleven after you two situate yourselves; the process of showering doesn't take long, but nearly two hours pass when you both are downstairs and reminiscing, talking about your day, then anything and everything.
both of you are upstairs when it's around 11:50pm. you get in bed first, sitting on the edge and checking a few notifications on your phone before dahyun asks, "can you help me out.?
you perk your head up, looking at her as she stands in front of the mirror. "of course, what is it?"
she watches you make your way over to her, then sees you creep up from behind on the mirror.
"my shoulders are tense." she simply says, looking at you from the mirror. she doesn't need to say anything else to have your hands on either side of her neck, squeezing tightly. she relaxes under your touch, appreciating the way your hands remove the tension from sitting at a desk for hours.
the tension that's still present is everything between you two. may's question still lingers in both of your heads; you're the first to bring it up.
"your daughter asked if we love each other like a mom and dad."
"she asked you too?"
"yeah."
silence follows. dahyun sighs when your thumb presses beside her shoulder blade, your breath tickles the back of her neck. she turns around to look at you, head tilted up slightly.
the only light that's in the room is coming from the lamp on the bedside table, it emphasizes the curve of your nose and look in your eyes when she meets your gaze.
she adds, "what did you say?"
"i dodged the question."
"what would you have said if you hadn't?"
she's trapped you with that question, and the hand on your shoulder, and those eyes.
the truth is; you love dahyun more than any of those kids' parents do, probably. you want to give dahyun everything, it's what you've always wanted to do the first time she had taken care of you back in your second year of college.
she's taken care of you when you were sick, drunk, and mentally fighting. she's been there longer than most, and she's pure, she's genuine, she's beautiful; dahyun is your world, your rock, everything and more.
you love her more than what a child can see between two parents of another. you sigh at the thought of her not eating, you think of her at night when it's storming and gloomy, you buy her the bread she's fond of, you bring her chocolates at work, you do her laundry when she's visibly drained; you love dahyun so much that it's all you are -- you are care and adoration because of her.
"i," you try to conjure up everything you can to answer the question simply. it's late and you're vulnerable when she stares at you, vulnerable after years of pining, and vulnerable after that question from may. years of loving can't be put into a sentence, but you manage to say something. "I love you more than that. the question is broad."
"it is," she's a little closer to you now, your faces are not so far apart. "the question caught me off guard."
"the questions is quite nerve-racking for something being asked by a six year old."
"y/n," dahyun practically sighs, lovingly. "i really love you, you know. not just because you've done all this but-- because you're you."
you break. "dahyun, i would move mountains for you. i want to be the person you lean on for everything and more, I've loved you beyond words since you fell asleep on me during that lecture."
"for psych?"
"for psych."
your hand intertwines with dahyun's, she tightens the hold. you might just collapse right then and there, but honestly, if dahyun's there to catch you, that's quite alright.
she places her hand right on your cheek, her fingers twitch and graze on your warm skin right before she's on her tip toes to kiss you.
her lips are warm and soft and all kinds of comforting when they meet yours. it's perfect, it's everything you've been dreaming of for years.
your phone rings in the background, the reminder that you've set a whole notification for her birthday pulls you away from her, and now your hands are on her waist.
"happy birthday." you whisper against her lips.
she smiles, you can feel it against your own. dahyun parts from you, but her hand still rests on the base of your neck and she still has her fingers intertwined with yours with the other hand.
"this might be my favorite birthday, i think."
"not the time i showed up outside your house drenched from the rain?"
"no, you didn't kiss me that time." she says before meeting your lips again, putting both hands on your shoulders and pushing you closer into her. the taste of your lips is sweeter than she's imagined, and the scent of her own body wash fills her senses; you're perfect. "this is much better."
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wardenparker · 3 days
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Hummingbird Has Landed, ch 15
Marcus Pike x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst
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After the debacle of his failed engagement and relocating to Washington to take charge of his task force, newly minted Special Agent Marcus Pike is ready to get back out into the dating pool once more. A slew of bad dates has him feeling a little down, and he takes an old friend up on an invitation to get away and get his head on straight. Imagine his surprise when he finds not only fresh air, but his soulmate as well - hiding in plain sight but in the unlikeliest of places.
Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 10k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: occasional mention of American politics, pregnant character, food/alcohol consumption, mentions of clothing/regulated dressing for occasions, mentions of therapy because we believe in self care here, reader is in a previous relationship, love triangle, reader is mentioned as turning 30 during the course of the story, dom/sub dynamics* Tooth-decaying sweetness, talk of pregnancy/impregnation, unexpected visitor, references to rough sex, possessiveness. Oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex. Summary: After almost a year together, you and Marcus celebrate your first Valentine's Day together with a weekend trip away. Notes: We are inching closer to the wedding with every chapter! This week enjoy some sex and romance, Pike style.
Ch1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13 ~ Ch 14
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The flight from Dulles to JFK would be shorter, but there’s a certain charm to taking the train. The rhythmic clacking of the wheels on the track is almost romantic and Marcus had secured an entire compartment for you, him and Agent Sellers. Agent Bailey will meet you in New York with a car and to trade off with your other security detail, but for now, it seems like it’s just the two of you in the car. “Hotel first?” Marcus asks, kissing your fingertips and you look out the window at the passing scenery.
“Because you want to drop off our bags or because you want to test out the mattress?” Either way the answer is yes, and you relax in your seat all over again. This idea to go away for a few days for Valentine’s Day had made you feel guilty at first, but you were easy to convince once you remembered that it was around Valentine’s last year that everything has started to happen between you. Now that chaos of finishing the house and moving in together is over with, a couple of days in New York sounded perfect.
"I do need to see if your legs look different on my shoulders in New York than in D.C." he teases, wagging his eyebrows playfully. "Three days of no house details, no work, and all we have to worry about is walking out of our hotel room dressed."
“And making our reservations on time.” With your fingers tangled through his, this time you pull his hand over to kiss his fingers instead. “I may have called in a favor for our dinner tonight.”
"Where are we having dinner?" He had left the dinner reservations up to you, knowing you would have a list of favorite places you would want to go.
"Tonight we're going to see a friend," you hum, leaning into him as much as you can in your seat as the train speeds toward New York. "One of Syd's friends from culinary school opened a restaurant right in the city a couple of years ago and I've just never gotten the chance to go up and try it out. So I called in a favor and got us a reservation for after the theater tonight. Neo is an Italian steakhouse, which sounded right up your alley."
"Nice." He's impressed by the idea of a nice steakhouse that is close to you and Sydney. His hand slides down to your thigh and he squeezes it gently.
"And then tomorrow night..." Your hand over his on your thigh is basically just grounding. Holding you to him and making sure you don't float away on the bliss of having some time off with your fiancé. "Every time we watch FoodTV you get obsessed with watching Alex Guarnaschelli, so I got us a reservation at Butter."
"Really?" His eyes widen in delight and he can't believe that you would go through the trouble for something like that. It's the small things that you notice that makes him feel special. You do so many little things that show him you pay attention to his interests, passing or intense. "That's— wow." He shakes his head. "Thank you."
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you hum, leaning your head on his shoulder. The train ride was a special treat but now that you’re almost in the city you’re eager for your trip to really begin. “I love you more than anything.”
"I love you too." He leans his own head against yours. "I booked our tickets to the Met." He tells you quickly, knowing you will like that.
“I’m sooooo excited for museum time with my own personal art expert.” He claims he isn’t, but you’ve learned in the last year not to listen to his protests. He practically gives guided tours whenever you go to the Smithsonian together.
He rolls his eyes playfully but he doesn’t naysay. He knows that you look at it as a point of pride almost. “Anything else you want to do? I think it’s a little too cold to take a boat out in Central Park.”
"There are a million museums and historical sites." And you can't wait to explore each and every one of them with him. "It's just too bad it's too early in the year for a ball game."
“We can always make a summer day trip.” Marcus immediately offers. “Maybe the subway series?”
"That would be fun." You perk up instantly at the idea of it. "The MET is tomorrow, so how about we ask the concierge at the hotel what their favorite underrated attraction is for today before the theater?"
“That sounds good.” He agrees. “Something that is kind of off the beaten path sounds fun.”
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The last hour of the trip is smooth sailing, and early check-in at your hotel means that you and Marcus are unpacking your suitcases in almost no time. It’s snowy in New York but not in a way that will add up, and it makes the whole thing look quite picturesque from your seventh-floor window.
“Too bad the fireplaces have been closed for years.” Marcus comments. “Couldn’t you imagine curling up next to a fire and watching the snow fall?”
“Next year let’s rent a cabin,” you hum, leaning back in his arms as you look out the window together. “Get snowed in.”
“That sounds like something we can definitely do.” For the suggestion, you deserve a kiss. “Unless you are pregnant. Then I don’t know if I would want to risk it.”
“If I’m pregnant we’ll choose a very easily accessible hotel where we can watch the snow fall instead.” His concern is sweet enough to earn him a kiss in return, and they’re getting longer every time. “Someplace where we can get snacks delivered.”
“Pregnancy cravings.” Marcus practically moons at the idea and he cups your cheeks to kiss you again.
“So…I’ve been thinking about something.” This calls for a face to face conversation, and you turn around in his arms.
“Oh yeah?” He doesn’t think that it’s anything bad, you come to him when something heavy is on your mind. “Tell me what you’ve been thinking, sweetheart.”
The two of you have always agreed that the timing of your lives needed to be a joint conversation, but somehow you don’t think this particular idea is going to need much debating. Not much if any, knowing Marcus. “I think I’d like to stop taking my birth control the day before the wedding,” you tell him, slipping both arms around his waist. “I know it might not happen for us immediately, but I think everything else has fallen into place for us so maybe this might, too.”
Marcus tilts his head, a slow smile spreading over his face and lighting it up. “Yeah? You want to do that?” He asks quietly. “I— I think that’s perfect.” He admits. “As long as you are ready.”
You're glowing as you lean into him, already feeling like you could burst with happiness and pride. "I'd say we should start now but there's no way my wedding dress will fit me if I'm pregnant."
“I want you to be able to drink a toast at our wedding if we can help it.” Marcus admits.
"Especially since you went through all the trouble to pick out good toasting champagne with the wedding planner." It had been an entire conversation of wine pairings and champagne choices that you hadn't understood a word of but watching Marcus get excited about tasting notes had been well worth it.
“I think you will enjoy it. It will go well with our wedding cake.” He reminds you, knowing you are excited for the replica cake the bakery in Boston had fallen over over themselves to agree to bake.
"I'm excited for everything to come together." After so easily picking out bridesmaids' dresses last weekend and even finding a mother of the bride dress at the same shop, the wedding is feeling like everything is really falling into place. "Last things are to pick a place for the rehearsal dinner and to book our honeymoon."
“We’ve had so many ideas for our honeymoon…” he laughs quietly, remembering all the various places you’ve both come up with. “Have we actually decided on where we are going to go?”
"I think we've talked about almost every place on earth," you laugh right along with him. "But no. We haven't decided. I think the last time we talked we said it should be someplace that neither of us have been."
“Maybe we need to make a honeymoon wheel.” Marcus snorts. “Have you seen the trend where a guy will make a restaurant wheel to spin when their girlfriend or wife can’t decide?” He shrugs. “We could do the same thing with our honeymoon ideas.”
“Hotel room crafts.” It’s silly and sweet enough of an idea to make you giggle, and you press more kisses to Marcus’s lips and cheeks. “I don’t know about making a wheel, but we could do slips of paper with destinations on them in the ice bucket instead of a hat.”
“Like a lottery drawing.” He snorts. “That could be fun.”
“I have a notebook in my purse.” Which doesn’t surprise him one bit, but you tug Marcus back into the room from the window. “Grab the ice bucket?”
“In a minute.” He smirks and his hands slide from your waist to your ass. “You remember what I told you I wanted to do on the train?” He coos, leaning in and kissing your neck.
“Mmmmhmm.” A soft moan of approval and agreement sounds from deep in your throat, but you feel like teasing him just a tiny bit. “Something about…shoulders?”
“Your legs, my shoulders.” He grinds his hips against yours, his hardening cock proof of his desire and he smirks. “I need to see if you taste different in New York.”
It is pretty much never difficult to convince either of you when a good time to be intimate has appeared, and you nudge him backward again toward the bed. “Then why are we still wearing clothes?”
“That’s a good question.” He goes willingly and he reaches for the edge of your sweater to pull it up. “You’re wearing far too many of them right now.”
Sweaters, t-shirts, pants, and everything else end up scattered around the room, littering the carpet with evidence of the romance in the air. Marcus has you laid out on your back on the bed in no time and you happily tug him down to you for a kiss when he climbs in with you.
“My gorgeous hummingbird.” His hands slide over your clavicle and he kisses your collar bone gently. Worshipfully. “My love, my soulmate.”
“I love you.” Simple words, but meant with all the feeling in the world as your limbs curl around him and you melt under his kisses.
“I. Love. You. Too.” Every word is punctuated by a kiss. Making sure that he teases and caresses your skin with his lips.
“Baby.” After almost a year together, you and Marcus have no trouble finding the right buttons to push. You know each other’s favorite things, each other’s ticks and hidden kinks. You know Marcus adores being showered in praise just you like him to have a firm hand. The flow of your relationship has been built on respect and trust and mutual admiration. Which has made experimenting and finding the things you enjoy together all the more rewarding.
“What do you need, sweetheart?” Marcus pops his head up, eyes dark and fixed on you. “What do you want me to give you, sweet thing? I’ll give you anything you want, you just have to tell me.”
"Just you, baby." Anything and everything he is will to give you is always what you want. Just him. As much of Marcus as he is willing and able to pour into you any time you have moments to yourself.
“You have me, baby. You’ve got all of me.” He groans, adding to teeth to his kisses as he starts to move down your body.
"All of me." It's so true. And true for both of you. The complete devotion you have to each other is obvious. Lying naked wrapped in each other's arms might be the most honest and most vulnerable you ever are, and there is no one in the world you are more grateful to share that feeling with.
Marcus groans, your words of affirmation and affection always affect him, but none like they do when you are both stripped bare. When there is nothing between you but the air and your beating hearts. He drops a featherlight kiss on your stomach, which will one day hopefully protect his children, and then down to your hip.
"We really need to start asking hotels if they have sound proof rooms," you giggle, already sighing as Marcus moves lower and lower on your body.
"Let them hear." He chuckles, never having a problem with others knowing how satisfied you are. He brings your leg up onto his shoulder as he settles between your thighs and he licks his lips as he parts your folds to expose the sensitive little clit that he will lavish with attention.
The touch of his fingers makes you gasp, but you still chuckle despite yourself and know that you'll hold back more here than you do at home. Having the house finally be finished has been a blessing. "Last thing we need is a sound bite of the First Daughter getting eaten out."
"Then it's a good thing they don't have access to those little videos we've made, isn't it?" He smirks, having enjoyed the clips of sexy scenes both of you had made together and while you were apart to send to each other. They were in a locked file and heavily guarded so no one could get to them.
"Well I don't want you to miss me while you're on a long case," you rationalize, letting out another deep sigh as his finger paints a long stripe along your slit.
"Oh I always miss you." He promises, leaning in and nudging his nose against your clit before he samples a small taste of your essence.
He knows how to make you moan. He knows as well as he knows his own name. And yet the first moment your back lifts off the mattress always takes you by surprise and you have to remind yourself not to squeeze his head too tight between your thighs when they clench with that first feeling of pleasure. "Fuck, baby."
The noises you make are always so fucking sweet. He’s addicted to them, to you. His own groan is sounded into your pussy as his tongue flutters around, sweeping the edges of your folds in a pattern that always makes you whine.
The fingers of one hand twist into his curls and you’re prepared to thank every possible god all over again that Marcus has been growing out his hair. It’s all his own style of course, but you don’t mind having a handle to keep him close as he devours your pussy every chance he gets.
The small whine of pleasure that he gives at the pressure of your hand in his hair is one you thoroughly enjoy and he gives you that sound every time his cock twitches against the bed. Making him even more eager in his task as he flicks his tongue over your soaked hole.
Curses and praise and moans of pleasure fill the room, babble verging on incoherent as Marcus plays you with as much skill as his bass or guitar. It’s the w of pleasure that makes you feel like you’re floating all the way above the mattress. It’s ecstasy, all on the curls and flicks of your soulmate’s tongue.
Marcus has always enjoyed sex, enjoyed giving and receiving pleasure, but there is something incredibly unique about his intimacy with you. There is a fusion of your bodies that match your souls, where your pleasure magnifies his own and he gets lost in it.
You shatter for him as easily as breathing, although in the moment you come apart you’ve replaced panted breaths with an orgasm so intense that your mind goes blank as you sob his name into the bright white afternoon. It’s almost like being at peace, the way he breaks you apart and puts you back together with tender caresses and loving kisses, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Your come down is his favorite part of foreplay. The pliant limbs and pleasure warmed skin. He loves the dazed look in your eyes, as if you are surprised by how good you feel. “Maybe I need another taste.” He murmurs against your lips.
“Babyyy.” You whine and grab his shoulder when he ducks his head like he’s going to travel down your body again. “Don’t you need to see if I ride you just as well in New York?”
He stops, tilts his head as if he is considering that point before he sighs. Making it seem like it’s a big concession on his part. “I think that needs to be explored too.” You love to ride him and he always lets you be in control when you want it, since so often you want him in control.
“It seems very important.” You nod in agreement, grinning lazily to see his eyes light up at the prospect of having your tits in his face while you bounce on him.
He comes back up to kiss you thoroughly before rolling onto his back. His hard cock laying against his stomach as he reaches out and caresses your side. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”
It’s just teasing, but you straddle his waist and lean over to press a kiss over his heart before shifting back into position. “That’s a very dangerous thing to promise your fiancée.”
“Not at all.” His hands find your waist and he squeezes gently. “I mean every word.”
“Dangerous.” You admonish him again with a tsk, but sink down on his length all the same — making both of you gasp and moan in unison.
Marcus’s eyes flutter closed with a silent prayer of thanks. His fingers digging into your flesh and for a second, he wishes you were already off your birth control. “Fuuuuuuuuck.” He groans when you roll your hips in a little circle and clench down around him.
“Fuck, you always feel so fucking good.” Letting your head fall back makes it feel like he’s gotten all the way up into your throat and your whole body tightens like a bowstring in response.
“That’s because you’re so perfect.” He groans in appreciation, rocking his hips up. “Tightest little cunt I’ve ever fucked.” He flashes a grin and twitches inside you. “Last little cunt I’ll ever fuck too.”
"All yours." As many times as you promise him that, it never diminishes how much you mean it. He has your whole heart for your whole life. "All yours and you're all mine and fuck you have the best cock in the world."
He chuckles, proud of your happiness with his abilities. His hand slides up your neck to cup the back of your head as he drags you down for a kiss.
The rhythm you set is quick but thorough, making sure to rise and fall on every inch of him to swallow his moans in equally thorough kisses.
He loves when you ride him. Your tits bounce and your kisses are greedy, leaving him to touch you how he wants to while you use his cock for your pleasure. “Fuck, baby.” He grunts, twitching when you swivel your hips.
The figure eights you draw in his lap are his favorite. They always have been. They're brilliantly drawn out and exaggerated to leave him groaning and greedy, pawing at you as you bounce on him. It's greedy for both of you in different ways, which is probably why this is one of your favorite positions.
“You’re teasing me.” Marcus huffs, lunging up to capture one tit in his mouth and scrape his teeth over your sensitive nipple.
"You — ah! — love when I tease you." And since he's so good at teasing you back, you don't ever hesitate.
Marcus just groans against your breast and slaps your ass playfully. Rocking you harder on his cock as his mouth works your breast.
It’s the hungry kind of sex where you know you’ll be sticky and sweaty and need a shower after. Where you know Marcus is going to leave teeth marks pebbling your skin. Where you know without a shadow of a doubt that you’ll be achy and feeling him in your theater seat tonight. And it’s exactly the right kind of fierceness for both of you, so you amp up your pace and throw your head back, letting the bliss of it all wash over you. Lovemaking is what you’ll do tonight, with moonlight streaming through the windows and soft touches and whispered promises. This is a deeply cathartic and energizing fuck — the perfect way to start your weekend.
“Fuck.” Marcus hisses and his fingers slide down to find your clit. Sensing the urgency to your pace and knowing how badly he wants to see you fall apart for him before he finds his own release.
Your whine of agreement is high from the added touch. His fingertips are calloused, giving you added friction as well as added tension, and every time you roll your hips you get more pressure and friction. It's stunning, the way he drives you toward the edge of that cliff of pleasure, and your head spins from how close you are.
“That’s it baby, you’re so good to me.” Marcus groans, loving how you just give him everything you’ve got. “So pretty on my cock. You gonna cum for me? You know I want to see it. Cum for me, sweetheart.”
"I'm so close baby." So close that you feel like you're about to fall over onto his chest from the way you're tensing up. Every part of you is tense, right down to the way your greedy cunt is clamping down on his cock.
“That’s it, fuck- you’re so tight.” Marcus hisses, watching you as your hips stutter and your shoulders start to shake. “So good baby, want to feel you.”
"Fuck, fuck, oh my god, Marcus!" The freedom to cry out, even though you joked about volume earlier, isn't lost on you. The way you tense and shatter and cry his name is his favourite music in the world.
He can’t help himself. Lunging up, he presses his lips to yours desperately and rolls you over to keep pistoning his hips and drilling into your spasming walls. Working you higher through your orgasm and chasing his own.
It would be a whole different ballgame if you were already off your birth control, but you still want Marcus to cum inside you. There's no better or more indulgent feeling in the world, so you wrap your legs around his waist and shake with the last waves of your own orgasm knowing that it will bring him toward his own.
“I love you, I love you. I love you.” Marcus begins to chant as his hips rock forward desperately, barely pulling back as he feels his body pull tight.
"I love you." Those words never diminish, especially not when he's driving his hips forward to bury his cock deep inside you, coating your walls with his searing hot release.
He whines your name as he rides out the release of every tense bone in his body. Pouring himself into you as he collapses against you. “Fuck.” He huffs, face buried against your neck and panting softly. “Always.” He murmurs, kissing a damp patch of skin over your pulse.
“Always.” A fact which leaves you breathless and tangled up in each other more often than not. Right now you hold him tight, hanging on to a confessional sigh. “I almost wish I was off my birth control already,” you admit quietly.
“Me too.” He chuckles because the two of you seem to always be so in sync about your goals and desires. “But we know that it would be better to keep to our original timeline.”
"It's a nice dream, though." Your fingers run up his shoulder and through his hair, and the softness in your eyes is pure adoration when your eyes meet again. "And I can't wait for it to come true."
“I know.” He smiles softly as he presses his lips to yours. “You know I’m going to be feral over you.” He warns. “Not going to be able to stop touching you.”
"Oh nooo." The laugh in your voice is as joyous as your smile but you toss a tone of sarcasm into your teasing. "That will be terrible. I just hate when my fiancé, the sexiest man in the whole world, wants to fuck me."
“You might hate sex while you are pregnant.” He huffs, knowing he would hate it, but he would never pressure you to sleep with him if you don’t feel like it. From what he can tell, it’s hard work to grow a human.
"I don't think I will." Of course, you can't be sure. But as you stretch your neck to kiss him again you enjoy the image tucked away in your mind. "I think I'm going to melt in your arms every single time like I already do."
“I love you.” The simple words are more vow than statement, completely true and undeniable. Luckily, the nasty rumors have tapered off and you have been able to enjoy the wedding planning so far.
"I love you, too." It doesn't take much surging to kiss him one more time, and then you're grinning all over again. "Now...how do you feel about naked honeymoon planning?"
“Naked anything with you is good for me.” He jokes. “Unless it’s frying bacon.”
"Aprons when we cook." You quote Sydney with a grin. "I think I can walk. I'll grab the notebook from my purse and we can write down the ideas we're serious about?"
“If you can’t, I’ll grab it for you.” He smirks, a little pleased when you are unsteady on your feet climbing out of the bed after he rolls off of you.
"Why don't you grab the ice bucket, baby?" Your purse is much closer to the bed than anything else, so it barely takes you two shaky steps before you're slumping back onto the mattress with a grin.
“Can’t make it, can you?” He chuckles as he stands up and crosses over to the desk where the ice bucket is located.
"Shut up." A playful little huff and a pout comes from the bed as you stick your tongue out at him. So what if you barely made it? You managed to grab your notebook and a pen and that's what matters. "You fucked me so good I can't walk, be nice."
He winks at you. “I fucked you so good you can’t walk because I’m nice.”
"I love you very much, now come and get back in bed," you stick your tongue out again and pick up your pen. "So what are your top choices. Are we doing top three each or top five?"
“I say we do five.” Marcus suggests, grinning as he saunters back over and plops down beside you with the bucket. “And then we use the bucket idea for the next nine anniversaries.”
"That's actually super cute." So much that it earns him a kiss when he comes and sits back down with you. A sheet of paper from your notebook is torn up into ten strips, and you hand him five. "I'm thinking my top five are Paris, Scotland, Napa Valley, New Zealand..." You grin unapologetically. "And Disney."
He shakes his head, faking a disappointed pout. “No naked honeymoon in Disney.” He grumbles. “We would be banned and then our kids would never forgive us.”
“We can still be naked in the hotel,” you remind him, grinning unapologetically as you drop the last destination into the ice bucket.
“Yeah, yeah.” He swats your thigh gently and sighs. “So I need to pick other destinations, right?”
“That’s the idea.” Being done before him lets you lay back in the pillows and idly stir the slips in the ice bucket while he thinks.
“Okay, okay…” he takes the notepad you’ve left on the bed and writes on the first one. “Ireland.” He shoots you a grin. “It’s different from Scotland.”
“Yes, it is.” You smirk at him, wondering if he’s going to pick places near all of yours.
“Let’s see…” He taps his chin. “Ohhhh Bora Bora would be good.” He scribbles it down. “Fruity alcoholic drinks, and tiny bikinis for you the entire time.”
That earns a grin from you, and you lean over to press a kiss to his shoulder. “Tiny bikinis are a favorite vacation theme for you.”
“It’s as close to naked as I can get you.” He huffs. “Unlessssss…” Marcus flashes you a teasing grin. “We go to one of those nudist resorts. Should I write Hedonism II down?”
“You try explaining that to my mother when she asks for vacation photos,” you snort, knowing that that choice would go over like screen doors on a submarine.
“Yeah…no to Hedonism.” He doesn’t write that, but he pretends to and mimes ripping the sheet out and balling it up. “How about Chile?” He asks, tilting his head curiously. “I’ve always wanted to go to the Atacama Desert or Easter Island.”
“Chile would be gorgeous. It’s too bad we couldn’t bring your bike down with us.” The image makes you hum, and your shoot him a grin. Marcus sitting astride his motorcycle in any setting just does things to you. “We’ll have to rent one when we go.”
“Absolutely.” He has rediscovered his love of having a woman on the back of his bike and often will bring you along if you can get away for a quick drive in the evenings.
“So…Ireland, Bora Bora, Chile,” you prompt him, tucking off your fingers. “Two more.”
“Greece.” Marcus decides and sends you a small smirk. “Rome.” He writes them down as well so they can be added to the trip bucket.
“Alright.” Dropping each slip into the ice bucket and stirring it around, you give it a few shakes for good measure before holding it high above either of your sight lines and angling it toward Marcus. “Go ahead. What’s our honeymoons going to be?”
Marcus grins and takes the bucket from your hands. “Let’s not pick now.” He teases. “Why don’t we pick at the end of our vacation?”
“You live to torture me!” You groan dramatically, dropping the ice bucket between you. “Do you really want to wait?”
“You don’t want to?” He teases, leaning in and kissing you playfully. “I guess we can decide now.” He rolls his eyes and picks the bucket up. “You choose. That way you can’t blame me.”
"Blame he says, as though they aren't all great choices." It calls for blowing a raspberry in his general direction, but you dip your hand into the ice bucket high above your head and swirl your fingers around to snag a single slip of paper. "Here we go," you intone dramatically, pulling the slip open and wiggling it around. "Looks like it's going to beeee..." Flipping the paper up, you grin at him. "Scotland!"
Marcus laughs at the glee on your face, knowing he would be happy going anywhere with you. “A stone cottage in the Scottish highlands where we walk the moors and burrow into each other in front of a roaring fire sounds perfect.” He puts on a thick Scottish accent for the dramatic flair.
"We can see the Highlands and the cities and go all over." Actually having a location picked out makes you giggle with excitement, and you lean over to kiss him before practically jumping out of bed. "Just like we can go explore this city right now. With clothes, of course."
“Now she can walk.” Marcus groans, climbing out of the bed after you. “What do you want to do before Ellis Island?”
"We should check what time the ferry runs." The concierge downstairs had given you a few ideas but ultimately you had decided to take the trip out to Ellis and Liberty Islands. It’s an important piece of American history and Agent Bailey won’t admit to it but she’s excited to look up her family from their crossing. "Why don't we grab a quick lunch? Give ourselves back some of the energy that we just burned off?"
“That sounds perfect.” He agrees, unable to resist grabbing a handful of your ass when you bend down to pick up your clothes. “Build up reserves for tonight.”
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It's hardly a surprise when you and Marcus end up in a little café halfway between your hotel and the ferry to Ellis Island, ready to feast on French bistro classics for lunch. It's warm in the picturesque little restaurant and the snow is still falling without collecting on the sidewalk, so it's a picture-perfect winter day in the city.
“I think it’s safe to say that I will have to have the French onion soup.” Marcus tells you as he looks over the menu. “At least to start. What about you?”
"I think it's going to be a boeuf bourguignon day," you hum, spotting the item on the lunch menu and salivating over it immediately.
“Would you hate me for hurting Thumper if I had the rabbit cassoulet for the main?” He’s grinning and shrugging slightly.
"Not if you won't hate me for having cute little escargot for my first course." The one time he had expressed finding snails cute had obviously stuck with you, and since they're one of your favorite gourmet treats, it's a fair trade.
He huffs in feigned offense and sighs dramatically. “I suppose.” He jokes. “It’s only fair and I know it makes you happy.”
"What do you want to see first at the MET tomorrow?" The café is buzzing around you but you're happy in your little bubble. Just you and Marcus, cuddled together and happily plotting out the rest of your day.
“I’m not picky?” Marcus asks, playing with your fingers. “But Lady with a Parot and Perseus.” He rattles off with a guilty grin.
"Not picky, but two very specific choices." You grin at him, charmed all over again by the beauty and relaxation of the day. Agent Bailey is enjoying herself at a table across the café, also doing her best to relax despite being in the busy city. "Okay, you're on. And I want to track down Madame X."
“The American Wing.” Marcus instantly replies.
"That's my man." Of course he knows, that doesn't surprise you at all.
What does surprise you is the woman walking behind the hostess, currently approaching your table to be seated right next to you. "Vanessa?" Of all the gin joints in all the world, you think ruefully, but it's been so long since you heard from either her or Sam that you're just sort of shell shocked to see her instead of upset or angry about it.
Marcus turns to see the ex that he had hoped to never run into again - even more than Teresa - and wonders what the hell is about to happen. He warily glances behind her and around the smaller café. “This is a surprise.” He intones dryly.
“Just a coincidence.” Vanessa promises. She thanks the hostess and takes a seat, though she wishes there was literally any other table left. “I’m just having a bite after class. Forget I’m here.”
“Class?” That catches Marcus’s attention and he glances over at you to make sure that you are comfortable continuing the conversation. He feels like if there’s a change in the dynamic of your foes, you should learn all you can.
You nod subtly, but Vanessa doesn’t catch it. She’s thanking the waitress for her water. “Class,” she confirms when the waitress is gone. “I’m getting my master’s. I—” she looks between you, her former foes, and shrugs slightly. “A lot has changed.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” There’s no pressure to be applied, but it’s an offer. An olive branch, just like the one extended at the engagement party.
That’s a bit of a sticky question, but Vanessa nods. Her own is far less subtle than yours, as it’s meant to be seen. “I left Sam,” she begins, feeling that that is the most important news. “He was…he was getting out of control. There was never going to be an end to it as long as he had people on his side.”
Marcus squeezes your hand gently, the confirmation of it being on purpose was right there between the lines. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs quietly. “When you said you had discovered your soulmate, it was Sam, wasn’t it?”
“It was.” Vanessa confirms. There’s no reason to beat around the bush after everything that’s happened. “He’s just…he’s not the man he was when I first fell in love with him. Not anymore.”
“Vanessa….” Marcus sighs softly. “What was the root of the issue? We didn’t cheat. Why was Sam so obsessed with hurting us?” He phrases it that way so she doesn’t feel like he’s attacking her, and because he honestly never really imagined Vanessa being the ringleader. Now it seems as if she was a hopeless idealist, blindly following her soulmate down the wrong path.
She sighs, biting her lip slightly, and looking between you both with regret shining in her eyes. "Birdie was supposed to be his ticket to the White House," she admits, although the confession isn't hers to make. "When Marcus appeared on the scene he started getting paranoid, and then...then when you broke up with him? He seemed like he was just taking it a little too hard in the beginning but he started to go down a dark path pretty quickly."
“Did he hurt you?” Marcus’s voice gets soft, his jaw tense at the idea of violence perpetrated against any woman, even one who has wronged him. “Or made threats against Birdie we should know about?”
"No. No, he never would have had the resolve to hurt me physically. And the only threats he made never worked out." Vanessa assures him. "The worst founded one was the engagement party. Whatever you two and your social media team did to get ahead of that, well done."
“You went along with it because he’s your soulmate?” Marcus guesses. “The rumors and the whispers that were being fed from somewhere?”
"I can't exactly defend myself." Vanessa twists in her chair to face you fully, so this conversation can be quiet. "I was jealous."
"Of me...for being with the man you were in love with." You finish her thought without effort, understanding the instinct fully but from the opposite direction. "I was jealous of you. When you were with Marcus. We just...we had things switched around, I guess."
Marcus frowns, never realizing that she had been so involved with her feelings in the brief relationship. “I thought…you were waiting for your soulmate and just having fun with me?”
"I was trying to get over Sam." This is bound to be an uncomfortable conversation of confessions for Vanessa, but she is going to tell the truth. "In a sense you were a rebound for a relationship I never had. And when I realized who my soulmate was I thought everything was finally going to work out the way I wanted. But...that was even more wrong than I ever could have guessed."
“I’m sorry.” Marcus murmurs softly. “I hope that one day, you find the love and happiness you have been searching for.”
"I think I have to love myself first." Vanessa shrugs her shoulders and laughs. "I know that sounds cheesy, but...I started seeing a therapist and I got myself into grad school, and taking control of my own life has been really good for me."
“That’s great.” Marcus assures her, squeezing your hand again and glancing at you. “I can tell you that therapy will be good for you. Doesn’t matter what you’re going through. Sometimes it’s good to just learn how to cope with life.”
"I'm doing my best." Marcus has always been a kind man. It's good to know that that is just who he is, and that Vanessa hadn't been so blinded to people's good natures as to have misjudged him at any point. "I really want to apologize to both of you. Some of the things we did...that I did for him...were truly despicable. If I could take it all back, I would."
It’s not his place to accept an apology, especially when most of the attacks were focused on you. He squeezes your hand again, and defers to you.
"I wish we could have made amends sooner." You tell her, gently squeezing Marcus's hand in return. "But I'm glad that things are looking up for you, Vanessa. And I hope they continue to go in a positive direction. Nobody deserves to be defined by their mistakes when they're trying to better themselves."
It’s a gracious acceptance of the offered apology and so on point for who you are that Marcus wants to kiss you. “I completely agree.” He adds. “You focus on yourself and things will work out for the best.”
"That's very kind of both of you." And probably more than she deserves, but Vanessa isn't going to split hairs when she's stumbled into the chance to move forward. "And very diplomatic. It's...it's very easy to see, from the outside, why you're such a beloved couple." A fact which had made you both difficult to tear down, and is probably why Sam failed so entirely.
“We had some not so diplomatic moments.” Marcus admits, feeling that she is owed some truth as well. “But we aren’t going to punish you for mistakes that you are owning up to and trying to rectify.”
"Thank you." Vanessa half-smiles, looking around the small café, and makes the decision for herself with a small feeling of relief letting her shoulders relax for the first time in longer than she cares to admit. "I should let you enjoy your lunch," she says after a pause, and she stands. "It...was good to run into you. To clear the air."
“Good luck.” He won’t ask her to stay and continue the conversation and neither will you, but he wishes her well as she gathers her things.
"That was...unexpected." You murmur, watching Vanessa cross the street outside quickly, and duck into a pub instead of the little café you're still sitting in.
“Yeah.” Marcus blows out a breath and picks up your other hand. “How do you feel about it?”
"Weirdly...good?" It feels awful to admit, but getting an apology from someone who was actively trying to ruin your life not so long ago feels incredibly settling. "Or at least it feels validating. To know that we weren't crazy in thinking that Sam really was trying to hurt us so actively." It also feels awful to know that you were right about your ex not caring about you during your entire relationship, but that is a separate issue.
He sees the frown and he brings your hands up to kiss them gently. “At least we know now. You know.”
“Knowing is good.” You can agree to that, even as downtrodden as you feel right now. You got out of the relationship, found your soulmate, and are getting married. Everything is falling into place in the best way possible. But the sticky, icky, despicable sensation in your chest at being used isn’t exactly nice. “It still doesn’t feel good, though.”
“No it doesn’t.” He knows that feeling in a sense. Looking back at things objectively, it seemed like Teresa used him to prod Jane along, to pull his buried feelings out of him. “Do you want to go back to the hotel?” He asks softly, hating how your shoulders are rounded and your voice has dipped down.
“No.” This awful feeling will pass, you’ll regain your good humor, and this weekend won’t be ruined by a chance encounter in a restaurant. You won’t let it happen. “Let’s enjoy our lunch.”
He wants to ask if you’re sure, but he doesn’t. Giving you a reassuring smile, he glances towards the waiter. “How about a glass of wine?”
Determined to smile and to not be upset over a relationship that you ended willingly to begin with, you sit up your seat, roll your shoulders back, and turn your eyes back to Marcus. “Something bubbly, I think? We’re on vacation, after all.”
He smiles and nods. “I think that is completely appropriate. And it looks like they have a nice champagne on the menu.”
“Perfect.” You squeeze Marcus’s hand gently, thanking him for sticking with you through the tidal waves of clashing emotions you’re dealing with.
“Not nearly as perfect as you are.” There’s an odd sense of relief to have that chapter firmly closed, at least on Vanessa’s end. “Hopefully nothing else will happen.”
“Fingers crossed.” Huffing a soft laugh, you just shrug your shoulders and get in with ordering your lunch. It does no good to dwell and ruin the time away you have with Marcus. No good at all.
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Panting, Marcus stares at the ceiling, nearly giggling at the bubbly, blissed out exhaustion that settles in the very marrow of his body. “Good girl.” He praises. “Good fucking girl.” Your own body is collapsed in a spent heap and he trails his fingers over your spine as you come down from the last, most intense orgasm of the night.
A matching giggle bubbles out of you as you curl into his side, utterly spent and gazing up at him with moony eyes. “Baby…” you laugh again, and half-turn toward him lamely. Your wrists are still bound with the tie he wore out to dinner. “Can I have my hands back?”
“Maybe I like you all bound up for me.” He teases, turning and working on the knots that are now harder than what he had originally tied because of you pulling and tugging on the restraint. Eager to touch him and frustrated by your inability to do so. “Next time I’ll tie you to the bed.”
“We’ll be back in our big four poster at home tomorrow night.” With your hands free, you loop your arms around his neck to kiss him soundly. “I’m already looking forward to it.”
“There’s something about being at home, isn’t there?” He asks, his hand coming up and tenderly caressing your throat where he had held it as he pounded into you. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?”
“Perfect level of rough,” you promise. Experimenting with his more dominant side had turned into a much-loved habit over your year together, and though you don’t get rough every single time you have sex it is definitely something you both enjoy.
“Do you need anything, sweetheart?” He asks. “Water, a rag?” Sometimes you like to keep his cum inside you, sometimes you like to clean up right after. And after every rough session, he likes to dote on you.
“I should say water.” Your eyes gleam with mischief. “But do we have any more wine? That bottle we bought in the Village was amazing.”
He smirks at your cheeky response and leans in to bite your bottom lip. “Sure.” He hums before he is climbing off the bed to get the lovely wine the two of you indulged in before your romp.
Tonight is one of those nights that you both indulged in the fantasy of getting pregnant, and lying in bed with a glass of wine with the sticky slick combination of your cum slowly dripping from your pussy sounds like pure indulgence. Plus you stashed Marcus’s Valentine’s gift in the bedside table, so there’s that too. You grab it now and slip it under your pillow, waiting for him to come back.
Pouring two glasses he turns back to admire your sprawled form as he bites his lip. It’s Valentine’s Day and the two of you have completely indulged today. Now, he needs to give you the gift he had picked out months ago.
“What’s that look for?” You hum, grinning back at him when he returns to your side in bed. “Did you suddenly remember how amazingly lucky I am to have you as my soulmate?”
“More like I remember how lucky I am.” He retorts. “I have a wonderful, sexy woman who indulges my desires and matches them.”
“So I guess we’re both lucky, then.” He hands you your glass and you take a sip, glad that you opted for a white wine tonight so you won’t accidentally ruin the sheets if you get playful. “Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” He smiles as he leans in to take a kiss from your wine soaked lips. “Have you enjoyed our weekend away?”
“To me it’s been perfect.” There are more kisses for both of you, never able to have enough of tasting or even just being near each other. “Have you enjoyed it too?”
“Hell yes I have.” He promises. “It’s been an incredible weekend, one we needed. No work, just us.”
“I’m just glad we both got through the weekend without any work emergencies.” The inn is in good hands, as Selena has finished her training to become your new manager and she and Malachi are running the place as smoothly as ever between them in your absence.
“Yeah, me too.” He takes a sip of the wine and sighs softly. “Part of me doesn’t want to go back. Just live in the hotel and run away from responsibility.”
“You would miss work pretty soon.” He loves his job, and you know that. It’s a very serious point of pride even though it’s very taxing on him sometimes. “My offer still stands, my love. Whenever you decide to retire from the FBI, you have my full support.”
“I know, and I’m very grateful for your support.” He promises. “It will come eventually, but I’m happy in my career right now and my team is excellent.”
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy,” you promise him. With Marcus it’s always about support and communication, so having the small check-ins often is key.
“How about you?” He asks. “The inn is becoming even more popular and nearly full every night.”
“It’s nice that we’re not seeing the after affects of the smear campaign anymore.” It seems like the good will from your social media posts surrounding wedding planning has really worked to verse the damage Sam did months ago, and ever since the holidays the inn has been booked solid. “I’ve been thinking about adding an afternoon tea,” you admit, giving him a sheepish look. “Syd’s sous chef is English and French trained and the three of us were thinking about trying out an Italian-inspired tea service for Mother’s Day.”
“Like the tea cakes and sandwiches?” Marcus smirks slightly. “I can see that being a real draw.” He admits. “Older ladies coming in to socialize and then young girls coming in to learn how to take tea. Paninis and cannolis. Cups of tiramisu.”
“Teacups full of individual tiramisu was Syd’s first idea.” It’s sweet to see him get excited and you glow with pride. “I thought it would be nice to give Syd this Mother’s Day off but she came back with a whole new business idea.”
“I think she’s imagining Constance having tea there, with our girls when they are old enough.” Marcus smiles at the thought.
“It’s a beautiful thought.” The dreaminess on his face is obvious, making your heart swell at the promise of growing the family you’re building with this man. Your other half. Your better half. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” He promises softly, his own dreams for the future in his eyes. “I have your present, to show you how much.”
“I thought my roses were my present?” In fact, you and Marcus must have given the hotel staff a good chuckle this weekend, because you both ordered a dozen long stem red roses to the hotel room — addressed to each other — that arrived with your breakfast tray with room service this morning.
He gives you a look, one that tells you that you are being ridiculous and moves to his bag to pull out the lovely wrapped gift he had brought for you.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you laugh, sliding his gift out from under your pillow to hand over to him.
He huffs at you, even as a grin tugs at the corners of his mouth. “You should know that roses were going to be your only Valentine’s Day gift.” He hadn’t been expecting anything, and his eyes soften at the sight of a gift for him.
“They weren’t going to be your only gift either,” you tut. But sitting up together in your hotel bed, naked with glasses of wine and hearts utterly full, seems like the perfect time to exchange gifts. “This looks suspiciously like a jewelry box, Agent Pike.”
“I don’t know what you could possibly mean.” Marcus pleads his innocence, even as he smirks.
“Mmhmm.” Giggling to yourself all over again, you nudge Marcus’s package toward him so you can both open them at the same time.
“I need you to open yours first.” He wants to watch your expression and put it on you if you want.
“Very mysterious.” You eye him but obey, pulling open the ribbon on the little wrapped box and tear away the dark red paper to reveal a silver jewelry box — exactly as you suspected. When you remove the lid, a small gasp of surprise and wide eyes come with an open mouth reaction. “Is this…?” The delicate silver necklace inside has a heart pendant hanging from it in the center, but the back clasp is on display in the box: a lock, not a claw.
“A collar.” Marcus nods, watching you seriously as he picks up the small, ornate key and showing it to you. “We’ve talked about it, teasing about it, but I found this and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
"Honey, it's beautiful." To the outside observer, the inconspicuous little heart is a sweet token of love from your soulmate. For you and Marcus, it's a next step into the world that you've been exploring together. "I wouldn't have been able to stop thinking about it, either."
“You know you have me, every single part of me, and I have you.” He reaches out and caresses your neck. “This would be between us. Our little secret from the world. My claim on you.”
The little lock on the necklace is meant to be done for you, and you raise your eyes back to Marcus. "Will you do the honors?"
“Do you want to wear my collar, sweetheart?” He asks seriously. “Keeping me close to your heart every day?”
"I really do," you lean across the small expanse to kiss him, just as soft and steadily as the rhythm of your heartbeat. "Even though you're already in my heart every single day. This is just another way to show the whole world."
Marcus hums as you hold out the necklace to him and he carefully unlocks it. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t take it off.” He tells you as he wraps it around your neck and closes the lock to secure it around your neck.
"I know I can always ask you." There are some occasions when it won't be appropriate -- State dinners, your wedding, the fanciest things that you'll do in your lives -- but each and every day of your life the necklace will either go on or off and that means that Marcus will always be with you even when he's away.
Once the necklace is locked around your neck, Marcus leans in and presses his lips to it and your skin gently.
"I feel a bit like I underdid it now," you admit, touching the necklace gently with your fingertips. "But I still hope you like it."
He snorts, not even able to imagine you not putting incredible thought and time into his gift. He picks up the box and shakes it like a kid at Christmas, grinning at you. “Nahhhh, sounds fun.”
"Oh yeah." You snort and wave one hand casually. "I figured Lincoln Logs were the most romantic gift possible."
He laughs and shakes his head as he starts to unwrap the beautiful paper. “Whatever it is, I appreciate you getting me something.” He murmurs. “A lot of women seem to think valentines is only for them.”
"You are the most romantic man on the planet." While he works open the paper you lean back in the pillows and toy with your new necklace. "I couldn't possibly leave you out of the celebration this weekend. That would be awful."
“You would be surprised how often it happens.” He knows you wouldn’t and it makes him appreciate you even more. “Babe….” he freezes when he opens the box and sees the lighter that is nestled into the protective fabric. “Is this— it’s a 1939-45 World War II Trench lighter.” He murmurs, admiring how the patina on the metal is meticulously cared for. “How did you know to get this?”
The awe on his face is enough to tell you that you made the right decision, and you leave a kiss on his cheek with pleasure. "I may have dug in your eBay search history a little," you admit without shame. "Your lighter collection is a point of pride and I know you want to keep growing it."
“I- I love it.” He promises you, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. “So many of these have been lost or discarded but they all have so many stories ingrained in every flick of the flint.”
"The shop I got it from had a little history of previous owners." The handwritten card is tucked inside the lid of the cigar box, and you nudge Marcus to keep going. "You have to keep unwrapping, though."
“There’s more?” He huffs, rolling his eyes playfully and carefully setting the lighter aside to pull out a box of cigars. “Very nice.”
His smile makes you glow, so happy to see him accepting these shows of love and tokens of affection. "Now that you have a porch to sit out on at night, I thought you should be able to enjoy an indulgence you couldn't have while living in an apartment or the inn."
“That is as long as you don’t hate the smell.” He eyes you, even as he opens the box and pulls out a cigar to smell, groaning at the aroma.
"I called your dad to make sure I got the ones you and he smoke when we're in Texas," you admit. "So I already know I like the smell of these."
“Good.” He chuckles quietly and kisses you again. “You’re perfect, you know that?” He asks. “The universe couldn’t have chosen better.”
"I was just thinking the same about you." Nudging his nose with yours brings a smile to both of your faces. The perfectly contented kind of smile that is somehow both enraptured and at peace all at once. "So I'm very glad we agree."
“That’s why we are soulmates.” He reasons, giddy to be celebrating the holiday with his soulmate, his fiancée and the woman he will spend the rest of his life with.
______
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luvlilyz · 3 days
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relax a bit
w/c: 820, short
note: fluff, fiancé geneticist miguel, nurse reader. he isn’t spiderman in this au. this is my first time writing a fic im so nervous to post this so have some compassion 😭 thx!
Sliding the tray of freshly cubed potatoes into the oven and closing the door with a thud. Wiping the olive oil from your hands onto your floral apron, a job well done.
 Cooking was supposed to be a soothing way to relieve stress. After enduring 10 excruciating hours of dealing with the blatant disrespect and disregard from senior residents at the retirement home. It had left you, emotionally numb, feet sore and bone tired. Fed up with those old hags shoving you around. 
You grudgingly continue to clean up before dinner is done cooking. Placing dishes into the dishwasher and wiping the counters before you had begun sweeping, the front door creaks open. 
The sound of his numerous keys being dropped into the bowl at the front door, a heavy winter coat being hung in the closet, and his beloved brown dress shoes being taken off draws your attention.
 “Hey honey, how was work?” You call out brushing up the mess from the floor. 
Miguel‘s large form is heard approaching before he's seen in the doorway of the kitchen in your shared Nueva York apartment. Being together for five years and living together for two you had become accustomed to his habits, it’s almost second nature. 
He grumbles and groans in response to your question as he encircles his muscular arms around your waist, dwarfing you by comparison and burrowing his face into your neck. 
“Rough day I assume?” You ask in a sympathetic tone. 
He responds “Always,” he replies, “but I can’t complain... I love my job. And I love coming home to the sight of you.” He kisses your shoulder and you reach behind to gently stroke his head.
 “You should go take a shower to relax. Dinner will be done soon”. There's a muffled “Yes ma’am.” You smile as you watch his looming figure, descending down the hall to your shared bedroom. 
A delicious dinner, an amazing conversation and a couple glasses of your favorite wine later. You find your fiancé and yourself curled up on the couch underneath a thick quilt watching a cheesy romance movie. 
You both needed this, your hectic schedules hindering you from spending much needed time together. His job as a full time geneticist at Alchemex and you being a full time nurse at a retirement home made your relationship quite difficult. 
You glance at the ticking clock hung in the hall as it reads 12am. Your heart shatters, knowing that this rare domestic occasion has to come to an abrupt end because your next shift begins in 6 hours. A frustrated sigh escapes your lips. Miguel's attention shifts from the television.
“Something wrong?” He raises a brow in concern and rubs comforting circles into your back.
You rest your head onto his chest looking up at him with saddened tired eyes.
“It’s just that…it’s already late and I have to get up soon….I feel like I never have enough time to spend with you.” A frown forming on your plump lips.
He pulls your body closer and places his chin atop of your head embracing you.
“I know sweetie. Our hours aren’t ideal, I miss spending time with you too.” He replies reassuringly.
A silence falls over you both. The sound of dialogue from the movie and the ticking of the clock blending in with the noises of the city that never sleeps. You break the silence first.
“Do you really have to go to work tomorrow?” Your best attempt at using your sad eyes to sway his decision.
“You know I’m the head geneticist. My team wouldn’t know what to do without me.” He chuckles.
“They can figure it out. Don’t you think I need you more than them.”
He looks down at you “Aren’t you needed at work as well? I’m sure they need their hardest working employee.” 
"Screw them; they can figure it out. I need a break, and I know you do, too. He scratches his neck, exhaustion visible on his mature features; a strand of his salt and pepper hair, which you adore, falls forward on his forehead, wrinkled in thought.
“It’s just one day.” He mumbles. You give your widest most convincing smile. “Exactly, just one day, they’ll survive without us won’t they.” Your tone takes a bit of a joyful tone.
He smiles gingerly “Okay, I’ll call out tomorrow.” A small cheer is heard from you. “But don’t think giving me those sad puppy dog eyes is going to work in your favor every time.” He says sarcastically. You kiss him on the lips
“Well it’s never not worked for me.” You reply.
You can feel the stress, anxiety and tension from the day leave your body as you lean further into the loving warmth radiating from the giant man. 
“I love you.” He says. “I love you, too.” 
You both eventually fall into a much needed deep sleep soothed by each other's embrace.
a/n: thx for readinggg <3
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JJ Maybank x reader
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We had been hiding out at this remote, old farm for what felt like weeks, since John b and Sarah returned. The Pogues and I were making the most of the situation, trying to stay under the radar and out of trouble, which was a task and a half given our track record. The farmhouse had an eerie charm to it, with creaky wooden floors and ivy-covered walls. The surrounding garden, though a bit overgrown, was dotted with wildflowers in every imaginable color.
One evening, as the sun was setting and painting the sky with hues of orange and pink, we were all lounging on the porch. The air was cool, and the scent of the blooming flowers was intoxicating.
“Do you think we’ll ever get back to normal life?” Kie asked, her voice soft, almost wistful. She was sprawled on a deck chair, staring up at the sky.
Pope, who was busy fiddling with some old farm equipment he found in the shed, looked up and shrugged. “What’s normal anyway? We’ve never been normal, Kie.”
John B, who was sitting next to me, chuckled. “Normal is overrated. Besides, we’re like, what, fugitives now? We’ve got a badass story to tell.”
“Yeah, badass until we’re caught,” I muttered, my eyes scanning the garden. I couldn’t help but feel a bit restless. The isolation was getting to me.
Just then, JJ strolled up, hands behind his back and a mischievous grin plastered on his face. “What’s got your panties in a twist, Y/N?” he teased, nudging my shoulder with his.
I rolled my eyes. “Just tired of being cooped up here, jayj…feels like..like we’re living in some post-apocalyptic hideout.”
“Well, I have something that might cheer you up” he said, revealing a handful of freshly picked wildflowers from behind his back. “These are for you, cupcake.”
I couldn’t help but smile, my heart doing a little flip. “JJ, did you just steal flowers from the garden?” I asked, taking the bouquet from him.
He shrugged, unbothered. “Technically, it’s abandoned, so they’re free game. Plus, you looked like you needed something to smile about”
“Smooth,jayj, real smooth,” Kie called out, laughing. “Trying to win her over with flowers? Boring and classic”
“Hey, whatever works, right?” JJ shot back, winking at me.
Pope joined in, shaking his head. “You’re such a dork, man. But it’s cute, I guess.”
I looked down at the flowers, then back up at JJ. “Thanks, JJ. This is actually really sweet.”
“Don’t mention it,” he said, plopping down next to me. “Figured it’s the least I could do. Besides, it’s nice to have a little beauty in all this chaos.”
“Speaking of chaos,” Sarah cut in, leaning forward. “What’s the plan for tomorrow? We can’t just sit around forever.”
“We’ll figure something out,” Pope said, ever the problem-solver. “Yes but for now, let’s just enjoy tonight. Who knows when we’ll get another moment like this?” John b added
We all nodded in agreement, letting the comfortable silence settle in.
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[Part 2/3]: Let's drink the Styx down to the last drop
Part 1
And that brings us to Part II, or why it seems trivial to escape a pact even when the game tells us otherwise.
We come to the second time we are directly quoted Wyll's pact:
Clause A, Section Two: 'Should soul-holder choose to abandon his patron, he is freed from his duty. His father, Grand Duke Ulder Ravengard, will be thus fated to die by an enemy's hand.'
Now Wyll's father dying as consequence of Wyll not fulfilling his pact is narrative horseshit. The only thing Wyll signed away with the pact was his soul. Wyll doesn't have the power to sign away his father's life. If it was that easy to guarantee someone's death every devil would be adding on nonsense clauses: 'Such and such person I dislike is fated to die tomorrow'. If devils' pacts actually had that power, hell would have already won. It makes no sense.
So let's say Ulder Ravengard is fated to die and Mizora just so happens to know this and it has nothing to do with Wyll's pact. Wyll doesn't need know that it has nothing to do with the pact and well, Mizora is petty enough it's believable that she would expend power to ensure Ulder's death happens by her hand so that Wyll feels personally responsible. But the way this clause is introduced in the game makes no sense.
The player frees Mizora in exchange for breaking his pact and Mizora rewards Wyll with a weapon and saunters off la-di-di-da. What? I don't know about you, but I was left sitting there thinking I had made a mistake in choosing my dialogue options and she was using some bullshit 'well Tav saved me so I don't actually have to free Wyll from his pact' cop-out. But no, they just have Mizora show up later to free Wyll from his pact because reasons?
Oh wait it's so they can railroad the player.
The main reason why BG3 works so well as a game is the illusion of choice and for Wyll's entire storyline this simply does not exist. Wyll is the only character who is not allowed to make his own choice at the climax of his story. 
The only way to save Wyll's father is by getting several specific cutscenes in a specific order. I had to redo the Iron throne so many times not because it was difficult but because I kept missing a goddamn cutscene. The player can't save Ulder Ravengard in the Grand Hall when he crowns Gortash even though nonlethal damage is introduced right at the beginning of the game and is used in exactly this way to save Minsc. Ulder Ravengard is just magically dead if you don't talk to Mizora twice before going to the iron throne. And none of this makes sense with what we have been told are the rules of how this game works.
So they use that bullshit pact clause to smooth over their shoddy story writing.
Now I understand that the reason why they did this was to make saving Wyll's father difficult, but come on. If you know anything about game design you know that forcing your player to follow a strict series of easy to miss steps in order to succeed is just bad game design. There are better ways to increase a scenarios difficulty. There's a reason why Larian didn't look at Honor Mode and go 'I know what would make this harder, if they don't talk to specific people in a specific order everyone in the Grove just dies for no reason :)'.
And fixing this wouldn't even be that hard. You have Wyll free Mizora and she rewards him with the rapier and then immediately call her sisters from hell and break his pact as promised. There's no reason why the six month clause* should prevent the pact from being broken then and there. It's not like she waits six months to let Wyll break it anyways. And then on the way out she can go, 'oh, I forgot to mention. Remember that clause that says your father is fated to die if you break your pact? Whoopsie. Toodaloo.' It would hit all the harder when Wyll watches the three BBEGs tadpole Ulder because he could be left wondering: is this my fault?
(*this is another bullshit clause that they never actually do anything with so I don't know why they even bothered to put it in.)
And then the player arrives at Baldur's Gate and sees Ulder standing at Gortash's side. Give the Player the opportunity to save him then and there. We already know it will be a hard fight between the Steel Watch and everyone else. There will be plenty of opportunities where Ulder could accidentally get killed, but having him just die no matter what is stupid. Mizora can still come around and threaten Ulder's life and give Wyll the opportunity to remedy things by re-sealing his pact. I mean there's already a bunch of bullshit clauses, what's one more that states something along the lines of 'If soul-holder agrees to re-sign the original pact within three tendays after choosing to abandon his patron, all consequences as a result of abandoning his patron are null and void'. And hey, if Wyll refuses, I know I wouldn't be complaining about it triggering a fight with Mizora. Anything that gives me an opportunity to actually get rid of her.
Or let's say the player listens to Wyll and doesn't attack Gortash and Ulder in the Grand Hall. Now, because Mizora has already stated that Ulder will die the player has a reason to confront Mizora when they see her standing on the bridge outside of Wyrm's Rock. And this is where things can stay the same, Mizora can dangle the hope of rescuing Wyll's father over his head and offer to provide information as to where Gortash is keeping him.
And if the player still doesn't talk to Mizora, then just keep the confrontation in the iron throne. Maybe add in an extra line of dialogue on Mizora's part, that she would have offered to help if they had come to her but now she's here to kill Ulder instead.
These are minor changes that offer the player the illusion of choice. A few changes and the player isn't required to do anything in a specific and arbitrary order just to save Ulder Ravengard. It doesn't entirely fix the issues with the writing around Mizora's Pact, but by the gods the way they have it currently in the game makes my teeth itch. It takes all of the tension and fear around the pact and just turns it into frustration because the consequence of Ulder dying does not fit with everything that has been outlined as the rules for the player so far. Why go to such lengths to make BG3 feel as close to an actually D&D campaign as they can, only to remove any freedom of choice when it comes to Wyll's story?
But wait, there's more.
Part 3
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ficklecat · 8 months
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disdaidal · 4 months
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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runefactorynonsense · 7 months
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Cozytober - Day 20 - Wreath
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crippling anxiety hours let's go
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ouchhq · 6 months
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>:(
#i need to vent a little im sorry pls ignore this if u are bothered by my thoughts#SH tw !!!!!!#this morning i was supposed to have my weekly therapy session but i had to cancel bc my mom got covid and obviously stayed home from work#and i do online therapy and i didnt feel comfortable doing it with my mom around but i really needed to do it tbh#and then my professor replied to my email with all of the things ive been working on since august and didnt say anything about the material#he just asked to call me on the phone tomorrow and i started to spiral…. like Spiral with a capital s#even now thinking about it my stomach sinks bc i have this feeling that his feedback is going to be negative and i just know my#barely existent self esteem is going to break and idk what im gonna do with myself then#this afternoon while i was spiraling all i wanted to do was /hurt/ myself. i kept thinking that i wasnt good enough and i had done a#horrible job.. so bad that he couldnt even tell me by email but needed to do it on the phone and i felt like throwing up and i couldnt get#/​that/ thought out of my head and i could only cry#and all of this not even actually knowing what my professors feed back is going to be because this is just all in my head#but i was talking to my school friends and they were like oh its gonna be fine even if he doesnt like it u can still put the project in ur#portfolio hes not even our professor anymore and so on#and i kept saying that i knew that but i just could not handle that sort of feedback and rejection mentally#i was telling them that i knew i would crumble if i got real negative feedback and i was terrified of that and they just couldnt get it and#idk it made me feel really lonely#im a bit calmer now but i feel so depressed#i am really anticipating something that will hurt really bad
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ubike-official · 1 month
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Hhhh, my friend's getting into watercolors and i have a bunch left from hs art so i was packing them up plus other supplies to give her and i ended up looking through my art things that have been long stored away. Like fuck... art really was My Thing. and I loved it and due to the feelings of others and frustrations within myself I just let it go. And now I'm trying to pick up yet another hobby only to eventually let it go. And I just want to commit, i want it to come easy again. But I know all i have a re my actions. hhhh
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magentagalaxies · 2 months
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having a moment about my gender rn and i'm just like ugggggh @ my brain do we have to. like can we just not
#i need to go to bed soon bc i have a 10am class tomorrow but shoutout to the identity crisis i've been having since at least feb 6th#idk if identity crisis is even the right word. bc like one thing about me is that i have a very solid sense of self#like i know who i am and what i want and how i move through the world and what it feels like to be me#but in terms of how i label and explain that to others? that's where the identity crisis comes in#but no one else gets to experience me in first person POV so the descriptors i use and they ways i present myself are reality to them#and tbh? as i think about how some of the descriptors i use for myself don't accurately describe me some people are getting mad???#which is so fucking bizarre bc like. what the fuck it's my gender why are YOU being offended???#but it's also making me low key be like ''wait am i a bad person now????''#even tho i don't believe morality works like that. idk it's just been an exhausting month and a half#if anyone wants to hear more in depth thoughts on all this i would love to vent about it#(but not rn bc i will be going to bed as soon as i get this all out)#but like what i will say now is even tho this past month and a half has been ROUGH (for several reasons especially gender)#and people might expect that me spending so much time with scott in february made it more exhausting#which is understandable we love scott but touring in general is tiring and also i am the most opinionated person i've ever met but so is he#and also like. if you've heard scott talk about gender it's very obvious we disagree on a lot of things and he doesn't shy away from that#but the thing is. i'd actually say spending so much time with scott (even when we talk about gender. even when we *argue* about gender)#was actually such a good thing for me throughout all of this bc even when we disagree on semantics of labels#scott actually sees me beyond that rather than reducing my identity to what i call myself#which is how a lot of well-meaning allys tend to treat me. like i'm just one thing.#so when i'm with scott i never really have to think about my gender#bc he doesn't treat me like i'm (insert whatever gender people treat me like). he just treats me like i'm jessamine#and i'm tired of having to explain myself into smaller pieces so people can pretend to get it#but i feel like there's no way not to do that in our society rn especially at my ''progressive'' liberal arts college
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toastsnaffler · 17 days
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I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮‍💨
#really gorgeous world but frankly its unnecessarily long. theyre gonna kill me for saying that but its true..#some areas/bosses just become overly repetitive when the game is THAT massive like its unavoidable#they tried rly hard to distinguish every area + honestly its a great effort but it couldve been half the size and just as good#like i just did the elphael ulcerative tree spirit bc i wanted to finish millicents questline. and come on man we didnt need another one#the design is sick + loooove the animation. but its a bad fight not bc of the difficulty but bc its janky as hell#lock on doesnt work properly bc of its size and the way it moves. u cant see shit on ur screen fighting them melee its just hack n slash#and theyre always in the most dogshit arenas possible for them like spaces w no maneuverability. its just not fuuuun#especially after youve fought 5 or 6 already earlier on in the game..#and its cool to have variations like the scarlet rot ones but we already HAD one of those just before lake of rot!! the gimmicks worn off#i did everything except maliketh in farum azula today as well and again. it didnt need to be that long. killing beastmen gets boring#after like the first 20 combat is just mashing buttons.. even the platforming is getting dull bc ive done 120 hours of it now#and theres only so many combinations of ladders and hallways and so on that u can possibly cram in here..#i say all this with fondness like i truly do love it. but it couldve been a lot tighter! regardless ill still 100% complete it#and i get most ppl dont try to get every single armament and talisman etc so they probably dont waste time FULLY exploring like i am#ahhh. anyway ill probably do malenia and maliketh tmr bc im right outside both of their arenas. and then call it quits this weekend#ill get my first ending next weekend probably... and hopefully by june ill have 100% and then i can play something else 😭#ik the dlc comes out in june but ill probably take a month or two break before i get to that#it doesnt even neeeed a dlc.......its excessive as it is just make a new game by this point ahhhhh#anyway its like 1am i need to SLEEP. i said i would go out to watch for northern lights but its overcast and im tired and my roommate#didnt wanna come with.. so i was gonna go to bed early instead but i guess that didnt happen lol#gonna feel like shit tomorrow bc i have to be up early to take my meds and she'll wake me up anyway.. but cross that bridge#typing is getting difficult bc im so sleepy okay goodnight everyone#.diaries
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youremyonlyhope · 29 days
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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