#I feel like I always surprise myself with the characters I get drawn too. I wasn’t particularly interested in niran either but that changed
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im absolutely OBSESSED goign rabid insane over how you draw venture. theyre more venture than the venture in the game. this venture is more canon than canon venture. keep it up. (if you want. draw whatever you want lol i'm not in charge of you) great job. 10/10
Thank you ! I was not expecting to like them so much but I drew them for one jokey drawing and suddenly became obsessed.
#I also don’t know why I draw them so.. off model?#everyone I draw is off model but I feel like I do it to them especially#just feels right to me.. I take some inspo from how some artists draw chilchuck. it’s why I give them the fluffy sideburns#I feel like I always surprise myself with the characters I get drawn too. I wasn’t particularly interested in niran either but that changed#ANYWAYS I like how I interpret them too. I feel like I really nailed the way I wanted to draw them first try which always makes me happy#QNA
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the art of obsession | kim taehyung
summary: in a world of painters and poets, there were two college students looking for the right sort of inspiration. through devotion in your craft, you find yourself drawn to kim taehyung—a grad student painter who’s everything you’ve ever looked for in a character. his walk, his form of speech, his art, it all captivated you to the point where you wanted to recreate him in words and you begin to realize how similar the two of you really are. you share a sort of obsession in your work that seems like only each other could understand and he invites you into his world of oil paints and charcoals in hopes of drawing you on paper.
✎ genre/au: dark academia. college au. painter!taehyung x writer!y/n [afab. she/her]
✎ 17.4K words
“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” — Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
warnings: smut. slight obsession with their work. prestigious college. tae literally takes oc to a graveyard. oc and tae dont take criticism well. unprotected intercourse. oral [f and m]. oc slobs on his knob and tae eats like it’s the last supper. missionary. side position. lowkey passionate sex. fireplace crackling. namjoon and oc used to be fwb. hints that oc and Jimin used to be fwb too. jungkook is tae’s sculpture artist bestie. jimin is oc’s ballerina bestie. namjoon is oc’s writer bestie.
The smell of cigarettes was something you were fairly used to being around where you resided. You’re not sure what makes it so popular among young academics and sometimes you wonder if it’s not the need of nicotine but more so the aesthetic of it that they all seem to enjoy. It seemed to always linger in the air around campus where all the grad students would walk with their heads down and bags under their eyes as stress took over their entire being. You understand the stress but being an undergrad student yourself, you’re not sure you could understand the extent of it that they must feel. All you could really do is watch the way it slowly deteriorates their body every time they step into the library.
Maybe it’s the Literature major in you, but you never fail to try and assess each person that walks in as if you could see their entire character design and what makes them who they are. Today you got a bit lucky because despite how slow your homework had been going, your favorite case of study had just walked in wearing his usual black turtleneck tucked into a pair of loose corduroy pants. He wore a pair of rounded wire glasses that you love getting to see him in and they did wonders to conceal the eye bags you knew were there.
With this smallest hint of entertainment you’ve found through your long and boring study session with only one friend to confide in, you shut your copy of — excuse the pretentiousness — The Pictures of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, and lowered the volume on your headphones enough to be more aware of the cause of his visit today. You rarely saw him in the library and if he did happen to come by it was to check out or check in a single book on Michaelangelo or Davinci.
You were surprised by how close he seemed to have gotten to you today. The table you studied at was only a couple feet away from a book aisle he had currently walked down and now he was just a meter or so away with his head down in his book. The usual smell of smoke surrounded him and despite scrunching your nose at the smell, you chose to ignore it and study him a little further. You even went as far as to lower your headphones until they curled around your neck giving him your attention even if he didn’t know he had it.
As much of an observer as you were, you never seemed to catch on to the way his gaze would shift to you any time you weren’t looking, eyes scanning your features rather quickly as he made his own assessment. You dressed warmly today, probably due to the fact that there’s been a light rain that has been casted over the city, always seeming to linger longer where the buildings were older and all signs of urban life seemed to dissipate. You were dressed in neutral tones today that placed you perfectly with your own surroundings and if this was a painting he’s sure you would be the focal point—or maybe the single spec of bright color you wore which was in this case your powder blue headphones. He’s not sure he’s ever used that specific shade of blue in a single one of his works before but maybe he’ll look into it.
He rarely visited the library but when he did it was always a pleasant surprise to see you there. He didn’t care much to get to know you, he just found the aesthetic of it all captivating. The library was beautiful, truthfully, with its dark wood shelves and polished tile floors that echoed with each step. It was eerily quiet and it always smelled of old books and always reminded him of a cathedral. There were large stained glass windows of poets, painters, dancers, etc. the clear glass windows overlooked the large pond that covered the back of the small campus where the woods began to take over and student life decreased aside from the occasional late night college party hosted there between trees and bonfires.
“He always comes into my work for paints. I wonder why he always pays in cash.” Your friend said, suddenly appearing next to you and not messing with the printer anymore. He must’ve caught sight of Taehyung before he left and considering he worked at a supply store, it was no surprise he recognized him.
“Maybe he hates banks,” you joked, turning to Jimin with a smile. Jimin pursed his lips staring down the aisle where Taehyung had disappeared once he had his book, “Maybe cash is more aesthetically pleasing. He’s an art major, isn’t he? I say he’s too pretentious to use a plastic card—or even worse, Tap to Pay.”
At that you laughed, deciding to continue the teasing of a man you barely knew while also trying to defend him, “Do people ever get tired of throwing words around?”
“Are you referring to my use of ‘pretentious’?” Jimin asked as he moved to the other side of the counter, “I used the term correctly, it’s an adjective meaning, ‘attempting to impress by affecting greater importance and culture than is actually possessed’. His refusal to adhere to society’s technological advances is pretentious in itself. I bet he still uses No. 2 pencils as an act of defiance against mechanical pencils—if he was a writer like you he would probably be more drawn to a pen but he’s an artist and artists make mistakes that get covered up or changed.”
You couldn’t help but smirk at that, “Tell me then, Jimin, what does a ballerina use to convey words? An Arabesque?”
Jimin released a loud groan, “I hate this goddamn school.”
You watched him open his newest generation laptop and hide behind it. He knew now how little room he had to talk. You, yourself, couldn’t utter a word to disagree with him either when in your hand was a Montblanc fountain pen that cost your parents a hefty 1,500$ to get to you when you were first accepted into the school. You’re sure when the time comes for you to finish undergrad, they’ll up the price and give you one worth 4,000$—the most profound amount of proof that you did in fact strictly use pens for everything.
You would never dare mention anything revolving around the money Taehyung’s family is rumored to have because you don’t know anything about him to do so.
All you knew were the few things you’ve noticed — a couple that even made it into your journal — like the fact that he specialized in two mediums; charcoal and oil paintings. He’s a known name at the University for his work and dedication and you saw that through one of his works. It was dark and a bit twisted but it told a story and you think that’s what drew you into him before you even knew it was him.
Despite his strong presence that always seemed to draw you in, he had a gift for making himself invisible in a group setting. He never spoke up in class, never caused a fuss, he was in and out like a shadow.
At the start of the semester you were taken by surprise when you found him sitting in one of the back rows of the lecture hall to an advanced anatomy class that you’re sure you took for very different reasons. Taehyung was interested in the study of the body so he could fully understand the way the it works from the inside out. He wanted to understand how each limb moved, how fluid each bone and muscle connected, how they could contort, see where the organs go, imagine the flesh coming to life when he painted.
In literature, anatomy isn’t referring to the human body. It refers to a separation of a topic into smaller parts for detailed analysis of the work. You did not make a mistake when you chose this lecture, you too wanted to study the body for your work. You wanted to learn how fragile it really was, how it could be destroyed, how hard it was to do so. You wanted to know about which bones were weaker, which organ puncture did the most damage. You need visuals and understanding of its healing process, of the way it moved, how the nervous system worked. Once you had a better understanding of the body, you just knew that you would be able to apply all these things to your writing. You would be able to detail how your character’s body deteriorated outside and in. How the body would slowly break down, which nerves were affected, how the heart worked in that moment. It would be gruesome but intriguing enough for your readers.
Maybe you needed to write something not so dark, something that didn’t make you take courses you didn’t really need but wanted in hopes that they’ll help you understand better. You didn’t actually need to go this far to describe a couple grueling scenes but it helped.
The room was silent aside from the obnoxious sound of the clock, Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock…Ticking.
You stood at the front of your professor’s desk in his clustered office filled with classical literature books and awards for writing all over the shelves. His desk took up the majority of the space inside and whenever you were in here you couldn’t help but feel just a little suffocated. There were barely any words shared between the two of you, he only ever decided to truly grace you with his speech when he was critiquing and yet right now he’s been uncomfortably silent.
The silence had grown so long that you found your attention drifting toward the grandfather clock that was tucked away near the overwhelming stained glass window that overlooked the courtyard filled with wet and fallen leaves. The trees were bare and the fountain had a sculpture of a big swan with its wings spread in what looked like a dance. It always reminded you of the Swan Song, but you never knew if that was morbid of you. The idea of your University of Fine Arts decorating the campus in the black and white birds simply for decor always seemed strange to you too.
There was no way they would ever portray anything without meaning, or at least something not up for interpretation and yet every time you looked at one of the swans, you thought about the Swan Song, the way the bird’s wings were open beautifully with each detail chiseled into the stone. It looked like the swan’s final performance before its end. It wasn’t the sort of symbolism you liked to see at a school with such dedicated artists looking for a way to perfect every aspect of their work as if each one was their last.
“I like it,” your professor finally said, drawing your attention back to him in an instant, “Your writing has improved Y/n, I’m starting to really visualize the plot and I think it has a certain rawness to it that I’m not used to seeing from you.”
The corner of your lips turned upward like you wanted to smile but you wouldn’t fully allow yourself to. He hasn’t looked at you yet, his eyes stayed glued to your paper and it was clear he wasn’t done, “But it still feels stiff—well, the main character does. I can’t understand him yet, he’s just a mystery to me and not one I’m interested in unraveling. I can’t understand his depth and it’s becoming a big flaw in your writing. Everything else sounds wonderful, well articulated and with such emotion… that when I think of him all I see a huge lack of substance. He’s being drowned out by the rest and he’s supposed to be the one I follow when I read.”
You didn’t say anything as your jaw slowly clenched shut, eyes unwavering as he went on, “It’s like you have a lack of knowledge for human emotion and psychology, I’m not sure that’s something that can be easily fixed.”
“Does it make my writing bad?” You asked stiffly and he shook his head no.
“No, your writing is captivating but there’s a very huge disconnect I’m feeling from your characters,” he said, looking up at you, “It takes away the beauty of it.”
Your lips felt sewn shut as he handed you back your paper with all of his notes for you to fix and you felt like crying. You couldn’t even utter out a single word as you forced yourself not to react to his words and leave his office with your head held high.
What did he mean by disconnect? What more did he want you to do? What did you not understand about human emotion? You’re a human, what is there not to get? What else did he want from you?
These questions circled your head for what felt like an eternity, only confusing you more and more as you left for your next lecture. You spent the fifteen minute gap with your journal out jotting down every question that came to mind trying to see how you could find answers to these.
You sat alone in your row of seats waiting for other students to arrive and you took the time to brainstorm. He told you your characters lacked substance and implied that they were hard to visualize. He said that he can’t understand them, especially the lead and that he couldn’t be absorbed into a story about a character he doesn’t care for. He basically said that you lacked an understanding of emotional depth for the characters you write and therefore your stories will continue to have a disconnect until something changes. If only something could inspire you, maybe help you analyze these so-called emotions you couldn’t comprehend. You needed to remove some of the mystery around your character and really dive in on his arc, understand how he felt. How could you do that? It's not like you could fully visualize it yourself either unless you really began to study those around you more than you already do.
You sat up straighter in your seat and looked around as the lecture hall began to fill slowly. The room had a sort of ancient feel to it with long hazelnut rows of desks pressed side by side against each other in an amphitheater manner. There were diagrams and models of the human body plastered everywhere but none looked straight off of a doctor’s catalog. They looked like Davinci himself drew every skeleton in the room. It also had a small echo especially when the rain hit the wall or glass windows that sometimes tuned out the sound of talking students entering the hall.
You recognized most of the faces and the one who passed you as he went up a few rows seemed to distract you more than the others. Kim Taehyung didn’t wear glasses today but he wore a wool sweater and linen pants. There was a small splotch of gray paint on his knuckle that he hadn't seemed to notice as he swung his book bag onto the desk with a small thud, uncaring if anyone heard and ignored everyone around him.
He was similar to your character, almost. He always seemed closed off and unapproachable but behind his eyes was an aura of emotion that isn’t easily interpreted. You found yourself beginning to scribble down in your journal, just basic things you noted about him.
The lazy, bored look in his eyes that made him look tired and unamused by everything that happened around him.
Then there was his stance. He had good posture but when he sat down in his seat he leaned all the way back with his arms on the table like he was observing every person in the lecture hall, even you.
You knew this because for a second your eyes met with Taehyung’s and in that measly moment you just took in the sight of each other. Taehyung didn’t hold much expression in face but his fingers seemed to twirl his No. 2 pencil a little more intently now. He ran his gaze down from your eyes to the curve of your nose and curl of your lips. There was something about your facial features that he was delighted in studying. When you looked away and gave him a view of your side profile he leaned toward his desk more and the leather sketchbook that rested over his textbook was flipped open as he began to sketch you.
The drawing didn’t mean much to him, it was just a small doodle to pass time, his hands had to always be sketching and you happened to be his distraction today. Usually he doesn’t really pay attention to you when he’s in class, you sit far enough from each other that you never interact and when he catches you in the library you always seem lost in your own world.
He knows your name, he read your story last semester simply because it intrigued him. It was published on the school forum and won an achievement so he checked it out and it was good, your writing is intricate, or at least that’s what he thinks. He’s able to follow along to every word and not be bored or confused but with a certain degree of understanding that the reader needs to learn. There’s an aura of mystery around it, yet it was not something that he couldn’t comprehend and he thinks that’s why he was able to enjoy it.
At the end of the lecture he had three small drawings of you.
“Come on man, it won’t take long, just one drink,” Jungkook begged him for the third time in a row. Despite his friend’s darker exterior dressed in black jeans, a black tee, and a black leather jacket, he was way more outgoing. He was always trying to get Taehyung to go out for drinks or to party but he just doesn’t have the time.
“Not tonight,” Taehyung said as he opened up his pack of cigarettes and took one out, sliding it to his lips before burning the end with his lighter. He handed the pack to Jungkook who took it without question and did the same.
Jungkook released a sigh in disappointment, shaking his head a little as he said, “Whatever man, you say that every night.”
Taehyung shrugged his shoulders as he took a drag and pulled it out between his index finger and thumb, “Then get the hint.”
His friend wasn’t listening anymore, choosing instead to stare at the building in front of him, dimly lit from all the lamp posts. It was just after sunset and the only students around were probably working on assignments like Jungkook and Taehyung. Taehyung took advantage of the art room to work privately and in a bigger space while Jungkook worked in the warehouse where he could work on his new sculpture. Taehyung couldn’t understand why Jungkook cared about whatever was going on at the library till he casually looked over too.
“She looks familiar,” Jungkook said pointing to you as you walked down the sidewalk toward the bus stop. Taehyung looked too, you had a tote bag like most students around here and there was a butterfly clip in your hair but it still looked messy. Your hair was down earlier and at some point you decided to put it up and he realized now that he didn’t have a preference on how hair looks on someone. He likes the style you had earlier and the one you have now too because they enhance your features more.
“That’s Y/n,” Taehyung said casually as they went to the parking lot. Jungkook looked at him curiously before glancing back at you, “You know her?”
Taehyung didn’t have an answer for that so he didn’t give one, he just walked ahead wondering the same thing. “Let’s get a drink,” Taehyung finally gave in and Jungkook immediately cheered. “Yes! Okay, don’t worry, just one.”
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… that is what every artist has ever been taught. Taehyung has never been able to disagree with a statement more than that one. There is not beauty everywhere, it is not as inclusive as one might think and to truly understand art in the many forms it could take, one needs to understand the meaning of genuine beauty.
It’s quite terrifying in a sense, for one to be able to lose control and fall for the Dionysian seduction and view beauty for what it truly is. It is a raw and exhilarating topic that cannot be defined by just looks or words but more the freedom of life, life is beautiful in its own twisted way and to accept that definition is to be able to portray that in what you do. That’s why Taehyung’s art tends to lean toward a more dark and twisted form. When he creates art he’s not just looking at creating something nice to look at or something with a hidden meaning that no one would ever truly understand. When he creates, he wishes to express human emotion through his work—he wishes to make others feel things they’ve never felt before and that is the beauty he is chasing after.
Beauty is not a person but a feeling and when he looks at you he seems to understand that better.
It’s not just your outward attractiveness that draws him in. It’s the terrifying beauty that you radiate in your gaze, in your mannerisms, in your writing. It intrigues him and if he could put you on a canvas and unravel everything inside you — your fears, your joys, your tears — he would but till then you’re nothing but a familiar stranger that invades his mind when he least expects it.
“Taehyung, your work is beautiful,” his professor said, “Everything you create is effortlessly perfect but…”
He waited with a bated breath, already not liking where this was getting. He watched closely to the way she tilted her head in curiosity, “It’s rather dark, don’t you think? Maybe hard for interpretation an—“
“It’s not made to be interpreted by anything but the way it is,” Taehyung said boldly, “Once art is set for others to create a new meaning for it, is it ever truly art?”
“I guess I am not understanding what you mean,” she said leaning forward against her desk.
Taehyung released a sigh like this conversation with his senior was tedious, “When you look at Picasso’s work, do you think he created it for others to understand? Or was that something that people began to believe? He created art that was unconstraining to himself and his life.”
“Yes but look at Salvador Dali, the entire aspect of surrealism that he used was to unleash the power of imagination and creativity. You can’t just shut your art into a small box for the sake of aesthetic,” she said and that made him scoff, his lip curled in distaste, “And let’s look at Monet? He’s practically what started the entire idea of Impressionism.”
“What it meant to him, how he viewed it at that moment, that was all,” Taehyung said, which made the advisor release a sign, “Claude Monet once said, everyone pretends to understand his art, as if it were necessary to understand when it is only necessary to love.”
“I’m afraid this conversation will go back and forth if we continue,” she said with a huff, already irritated by the way things are going, “The exhibition is in three months, in a month I’ll connect with you on how everything is looking and give you the rundown as well is there anything else you need from me, Mr. Kim?”
Taehyung shook his head and without a goodbye he was getting up from his seat and storming out. Not even a second after the chestnut double doors shut, did he find himself reaching into the pocket of his jeans to get his pack out. The cigarette sat perfectly between his lips as he blocked one side with the hand so the wind didn’t blow his lighter out and he lit the tip, ignoring the ‘No Smoking’ sign just a couple feet away. He couldn’t help but mumble, “Stupid bitch,” under his breath once he finally left the building.
As he rounded the corner, something hit his chest and his free hand immediately the person steady in front of him.
Your hand was on his chest to keep from hitting him and as you looked up, your eyes widened just slightly. Taehyung didn’t say anything as he let you go, brushing against your side and moving around you to leave feeling your eyes on him. You watched him head the way you just came from and finally snapped out of it when you heard your friend call for you.
He turned to look for you seeing you already walking over to some tall and muscular guy. The guy gave you a dimpled smile as he followed after you, no longer in Taehyung’s peripheral.
“Maybe he has a point, Y/n,” Namjoon said as he walked with you to the bus stop, “If you’re struggling then maybe you should think about altering the character more.”
You shook your head in displeasure, “No, I’m not going to change him, I just need to be able to visualize his characteristics.”
Namjoon released a sigh as he pondered over what advice to give you, but came up blank, “I mean… maybe you just need some real inspiration from those around you. ”
The both of you went silent trying to find a solution and you looked up at him curiously. Namjoon would be an amazing reference for a character but he doesn’t fit the image you want him to. He was like light, he was kind hearted and charming and so unbelievably smart but that’s not how you envisioned the main character in your story. The kind of character you had in mind was supposed to act similar to… well, Taehyung. He’s supposed to be a bit mysterious, cold, not necessarily a likable character but someone they can’t help but be curious about.
“Namjoon,” you called his name and for a moment he grew hopeful to the idea that maybe you were thinking of studying him the way you do with others—even if he knew that would never happen. Instead, you came to a stop and looked up at him, “I forgot my laptop in the ffice, I’ve gotta go get it.”
His brows furrowed, looking down at your tote bag, “I’ll come wit—“
“No, you have to work, right?” You asked, already backing away from him, “I don’t want to make you late, I’ll just catch the next bus.”
Before he could argue, you were already taking off in a hurry back down the way the two of you came from. With a sigh he watched you leave wondering why he always seemed to be a couple steps behind you and never beside you. All he’s done since he met you was follow your lead in friendship and outside of it.
Even when the two of you had sex months ago it was always when you wanted and never when he did. If he even thought to ask, all you did was blow him off and then question him on if he’s seeing anyone at the moment. In the same second you would press your lips to his cheek and remind him how much you adored him even when you blew him off he always found the act of it a bit poetic.
He loved you, but it’s a love unreturned and if he wants to stay by you, it has to be with him at the back of your mind and never at the forefront.
With that understanding, he had no choice but to let you go back toward campus walking across fallen leaves and dead branches while he went to the bus alone.
Your legs had taken off before you could even decide where to go and in the end you found yourself heading back the way in which you met with Namjoon—and also the way you bumped into Taehyung. You were never much of the shy type even if it appeared that way, your friends always said you were the selective type—only choosing who to be outgoing with and even then it was rare and required a lot of work to get to you.
They had it easy, Jimin was a childhood friend and Namjoon was in the same writing department as you but that’s as far as your circle went. Well, no, there’s Yoongi too but he’s a pianist and these days he’s so busy with lessons and trips to the orchestra, you barely see him.
Like stated, you were selectively social and right now, you were choosing to find Taehyung so you could formally talk to him. It took you about ten minutes of mindlessly walking through the courtyard to locate him and when you did, you came to a halt. He was just a few feet away now, cigarette between his lips, crouched down against the wall of some historic looking building with castle-like elements and you know he saw you coming when he turned his head and looked right at you.
That was the push that had you walking toward him and saying, “Kim Taehyung?”
“Yes?” He asked, looking you up and down, eyes unable to help themselves as he looked up from your legs to your face. You wore a black fitted turtleneck underneath a brown sweater vest tucked into a black skirt. You wore long 70s style brown boots and mesh tights too. Your hair was pinned back with a hair clip and pins and your ears were lined with simple yet pretty earrings. When his gaze finally met yours, he couldn’t help but take in the sight of you once more.
“My name is—“
“I know your name,” he said with a small glint in his eye, “Obviously.”
You didn’t pull away from his intense stare and watched him bring the cigarette back to his lips, “I thought it would be more appropriate to introduce myself.”
“Mm,” he exhaled looking down at the cement below his feet, flicking the end of the cigarette to let ash fall, “So what could I do for you, Y/n?”
He looked up once more and you bit your lip in thought, “If you are free, I wanted to see if you’d like to get a coffee with me.”
“I don’t like coffee,” he said, finally putting the thing out and standing up, “And it’s almost sunset.”
You blinked in surprise as he stood in front of you now but you didn’t back away, “Then we’ll just have dinner.”
“Thanks,” Taehyung swung his bag over his shoulder, “But I’m kind of busy, I’ve got somewhere to get to.”
He was already walking away to hide his look of surprise. He didn’t expect the two of you to ever really talk and he didn’t really know what to do. He ended up rejecting before he could even truly think it over. He imagined you as just a fantasy — nothing he could ever explore but that he could dream about. He just wanted to look and think about you but never know anything beyond what was on the surface—like a painting.
“And you can’t have a plus one?” You asked in your final effort to get closer to him completely unaware of what he thought of you. You watched him come to a stop, and for a moment you tried to imagine him contemplating. Taehyung turned to face you, “I’m not going anywhere fun.”
You stayed quiet as he went on, “And some might find it scary.”
It seemed like he was trying to warn you as if to let you back out of your own proposal but he wasn’t saying no and that was hopeful. You tilted your chin higher, “As long as you don’t plan on murdering me, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
That made the corners of his lips turn upward in an arrogant smirk, “Okay, Y/n, follow me.”
The walk wasn’t too far from the college but the college was already a bit on the outskirts of the city. All you saw were green, dying hills as autumn threatened to take over and it took you a second to understand where he was taking you until he was leading the way down a steep hill toward an empty and cold graveyard. It was a straight line of jagged tombstones and overgrown plant life entwined around them. There were clear dirt paths leading down row after row of old graves and a few Angel statues but nothing too bad, at least that’s what you’re telling yourself.
“I told you, you might be scared,” Taehyung said as he walked parallel to the graveyard toward a tree that stood tall along the sloping hill, “But this is the best view of twilight, if you want, I could walk you back to campus.”
“No, it’s fine,” you cleared your throat deciding to walk ahead of him so you could be the one sitting upright against the tree. Taehyung dropped his backpack a few feet away from you and began getting his things out.
You didn’t question him, only observed the way he carried on like you weren’t even there. It’s not like you minded, you didn’t have any real agenda to get him to spend time with you and frankly, you felt a bit relieved to see that he wasn’t trying to figure out what you wanted. It was unspoken the way the two of you seemed to think similarly and brought out your tools.
Taehyung didn’t say anything when he flipped his sketchbook open and found a charcoal he could use as he began to sketch without much thought into it. He even made himself comfortable by lying back, using the angle of the hill to help him not lay horizontally and he bent a knee up as a sort of flat surface he could rest his book on. There was a small breeze that carried through his linen shirt and brown trousers but he wasn’t much worried about himself.
He was more worried about you, who had asked to spend time with him but had no real plan to do so. He’ll admit, when he said no it was just on reflex from all the other times he’s out right rejected others before but he only thought it over because he’s been curious of you two. When you told him you would join him for a moment he debated saying no again because this was his favorite place to be to watch the sunset but it wasn’t all that normal. He even tried to warn you and offer to take you back when you saw the graveyard but you didn’t even seem to care when you sat down. Now that he’s looking at you up close, he can see the way your brows furrowed in concentration as you scribbled in your journal, already feeling inspiration.
It’s now that Taehyung is realizing why he’s been so curious. He finds you beautiful, he’s sure he’s mentioned that before, but he finds you beautiful in an unsettling way. Just looking at you seemed to send him into a wave of emotion like you’re exactly what he’s wished to create on canvas. Before he even knew what he was doing, his hands were working away to make another sketch, eyes on you as he worked.
“What are you writing in that little journal of yours?” He found himself asking after some time. The sketch was rough and yet it was so refined that there was no mistaking what it could be. It was a monochromatic sketch of you with your back against the tree, legs straight before you and your hair covering your face with the howl of the wind. Your hands looked delicate when you wrote and you looked so lost in your own work that managed to capture that same essence in his drawing.
When you first looked at him, your eyes went down to the pack of cigarettes he was now messing with and out of curiosity he raised it to you as if asking if you wanted one. Moving to sit forward, you took one and held it between your lips as he dug into his pocket for his zippo lighter, flipping it open and bringing it toward your face to light the cigarette. He watched curiously as you leaned back a little, took an inhale/exhale, and said, “I’ll tell you if you show me what you’ve been doing in that little sketchbook of yours.”
For some reason a small smile came to his face as he laid on his side using his elbow for support and reached over to hand you the sketchbook. You took it with a sense of excitement that quickly turned into disbelief as you looked at it. The back of your index finger hovered over it but never touched for fear that you would smudge it or worse—ash, and when you finally handed it back to him, wordlessly, his cold fingers brushing against sending a warm current down your arm.
At this exchange, Taehyung moved to sit up, not bothering to brush off any loose grass blades off his linen shirt and read over a short passage.
A certain coolness in his gaze that made him appear cruel.
A charming aura that seemed timeless, not modern but ancient like he was created from every classic literature known to man.
His gaze, his smile, his voice—all deep like red velvet.
The list went on, each short sentence followed by another in what one could assume was meant to describe him. He didn’t say anything either as he handed it back to you the same way you had done with his sketchbook. Neither of you were looking for critique or praise, more so acknowledgement of what the other had been doing and once you had it, it was enough.
Taehyung stared forward as the line of bright Orange finally vanished from the sky and a cool blue clouded it. The atmosphere shifted now as darkness began to swim across the sky and you both knew it was time to go. Nothing was said as you both stood up with your things and even less was brought up on your walk back to campus.
It wasn’t until you stood at the bus stop that Taehyung decided to ask, “Are you busy tomorrow?”
“No.”
He pulled out a piece of paper from the pocket in his trousers followed by a pen as he scribbled something down before handing it to you, “Meet me here at 8:00pm.”
You didn’t have to say anything for Taehyung to know you would show and he left without much of a goodbye.
The place you arrived to at 8:00pm on the dot wasn’t exactly what you had in mind but it wasn’t much of a surprise either—it was a warm record bar. The one thing that did seem to surprise you was Taehyung’s choice in music where he preferred jazz over classical. The bar was dimly lit only by shaded, vintage lamps and the small yellow candles near all the booze. The walls were lined with vinyls and the deep mahogany trimming gave the record bar a sort of dark academic charm to it.
When you found Taehyung he was sitting at a small round table fit for two and he had a book in hand—The Picture of Dorian Gray. He wore his usual metal wiring rounded glasses and his dirty blonde hair seemed quite soft and full of life. The dark brown sweater he wore matched well with his tan slacks and you didn’t miss the way eyes would fall on him. It was this charming, educated college boy with a rich father sort of energy that radiates off him, but also the clear look of disinterest written all over his face and it made people curious.
You debated calling his name to let him know you were here but when he looked up in time to catch you walking his way, you were aware that he had been waiting for you and checking the door every couple seconds. Taehyung didn’t shy away from taking in the sight of you in an olive green maxi dress paired with a thin white cardigan tied together at the top of your breasts and below your collarbone. You wore black boot heels this time and when you sat down in front of him he couldn’t help but look at your face now.
“You’re late,” he said as he closed his book and set it to the side. You didn’t even bother to look at the Swiss watch on your wrist as you said, “It’s 8:00, like you said.”
“Yes but what I meant was 7:55 which should have translated to 7:45,” he said annoyingly arrogant as he slid a menu toward you, “As per the rules of a first date.”
His tone was serious as was his body language and yet you could see the hint of amusement in his attempt to hide a smile. You smiled softly, setting your bag down next to you, “I was unaware this was a first date.”
“So you assumed this was the second?” Taehyung had a teasing tone now, “I, personally, would not call an evening together at the cemetery a first date.”
“I do say, I’m a bit surprised to even know you consider this a date after we barely talked at all yesterday,” you said as a waitress came over with a customer service smile. Conversation floated between you two with ease.
“Are we ready to order?”
Taehyung looked at you but you weren’t all that hungry so he ordered a single slice of pastry for the two of you to share, “Yesterday was just to enjoy and accept the presence of one another, tonight is to communicate and learn.”
Taehyung never cared much for investing time into someone he was with, usually if he ever showed any interest in someone or was short lived. He’s not sure what would happen exactly but once the excitement of pining for someone romantically wore off… he just did not care anymore. There was too much to handle and he didn’t have time for any of it—not the clinginess, the crying, the whining. God, the whining got to him.
Why do you ignore me so much?
You’re always too busy painting to notice me?
Taehyung, I just want you to spend time with me.
It was the constant whining that he hated because they just did not get that he was completely devoted to his art and nothing else mattered as much as it did. Yes… maybe the small ounce of excitement he felt helped inspire him but… well he does not need whoever he slept with anymore.
The infatuation had worn off and he’s back to being alone again but now he’s a little too curious about you. Hence, why he asked you out first and in such a haste.
“Alright,” you said, “So then tell me something small, for instance, what time did you arrive? 7:45?”
“7:30 actually,” Taehyung said as he lifted his mug of hot tea to his lips, “I had business to take care of around campus and I didn’t want to make the trip back home.”
“Well if you asked for my number I would’ve arrived sooner.”
“It takes away the romantic aspect of waiting for the other to arrive without hearing from them—maybe I’ll write you a letter instead,” he teased. You just laughed softly and asked, “I didn’t peg you as much of a romantic. And what business?”
“Nothing too important.” Taehyung said vaguely and despite your curiosity you didn’t push him to answer. The corner of his lips raised as he looked at you, looked at him and found himself saying, “But as for being a romantic? It depends on who you ask.”
You focused on what he said about that instead of what his business was and that made him happy. What he did was not that important but it was necessary after what had happened with his advisor. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around what she had told him and in the end he made and impulsive decision to gift her something that might make her see things from his point of view. Of course it was slightly biased but he believed his piece really explained his views on beauty enough for her to understand.
Taehyung delivered two paintings to her inbox earlier. The first one was a more finished painting of you, still slightly distorted and a bit dark but there was no hiding the romantic element that radiated off of it. He called it ‘Genuine Beauty’. The second painting was a distorted and bright picture of his professor with exaggerated features that weren’t pleasing to the eye and he called it, ‘Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder’.
A true sentient on what he thought of her words. He wanted to know how she would twist the grotesque image of herself into something beautiful.
“What have you been up to aside from writing me?” Taehyung asked, looking at you with interest.
“Aside from that, I’m afraid not much else,” you confessed, “I’ve been in a sort of dry spell trying to understand my character.”
“Tell me about them.”
“Well, it’s a him and he’s similar to you.”
He listened closely to each word you said, taking in the curve of your mouth when you talked and the way you gestured with your hands. He’ll admit, the character did seem very similar to him so he can understand your curiosity in him and the fact that you seemed to lose yourself in your craft didn’t go unnoticed by him. He simply nodded his head and replied with short answers when asked.
In the end, he offered the only thing he could, “Let me be your case of study then, and in return you’ll be mine.”
You smiled this time, a small arrogant smile as you said, “Will you paint me like one of your French girls?”
He understood the reference and found himself saying, “If you write me like one of the lovers in your poems.”
By the end of the night you found yourself in the back of a taxi driving straight to his place under the pretense of another drink. Conversation seemed to flow with ease between you and it ranged from Davinci to Monet, Shakespeare to Milton and whatever was in between. Even when Taehyung asked such a heavy question, you didn’t seem to struggle to find an answer.
“Do you believe in love?” He had asked as the cab stopped in front of a house similar to an upstate New York townhome. He had you by the hand helping you out of the car and held onto you as he led you up the stone path.
“I have to, I’m a writer,” you told him and he seemed to pull you into him more.
“But what is it that you believe it to be?”
The question did make you think a little bit. It’s not that you thought Taehyung had an ulterior motive in asking you such a thing; it’s not like the two of you were seriously into the idea of it but you wanted to give him the right answer—one that truly described you and your ideals.
You didn’t answer his question right away as he let you into his home which was no different than what you imagined it to be. His apartment was in an old building turned into luxury Victorian styled apartments with modern eclectic touches. It was a put-together mess of sketches and canvases littered around the place. The floor was made of a dark, polished hardwood and his furniture all seemed worn through with velvet cushions and engraved wooden trimmings. He had floor-to-ceiling bay windows with twine hanging across them and papers clipped on with laundry pins to dry. There was a warm feel to the place and it had everything to do with his dedication to earthy tones and shades of Morocco red.
There were painting supplies everywhere from scattered charcoals and cans of linseed oil for his paints. There were stacks of literature books and various art ones piled high on nearly every surface and yet it all seemed to be organized to what you could assume only he could understand. Taehyung didn’t even seem to mind the clutter as he chose instead to ask, “Red or White?”
“Red.” You responded quite simply before resuming your studying of his place, the fireplace on one wall was surrounded by canvases and books—same as the vintage bookshelf and for a moment you wondered if his bedroom looked any similar. The thought vanished quickly when you got the smallest hint of which room that might be from the open door down the hall. He had plain gray sheets on an unmade bed and the furniture in there was scarce, like he barely spent any time there and if he did it wasn’t to sleep—the bags under his eyes told you so.
“Have you thought of an answer to my question yet?” Taehyung asked, reminding you yet again of what he asked earlier. He handed you a wine glass and you took it with a nod in gratitude as he left you to find a record to play.
“I’ve had an answer all along, I just wasn’t sure how you would feel about it,” you said and you could see him smile as he moved the needle over the start of the vinyl, Nocturnes, Op 9 began to play.
“I’m not looking for anything in particular, just an insight on what you think,” he said honestly and with a small sigh you decided to tell him.
“I think love is more so… a choice than an emotion?” You finally said as you watched him take a seat on the floor near his coffee table instead of the velvet couch behind him. He motioned for you to join him, “How so?”
“Anyone can feel love at any given moment but it is fleeting,” you sat down, knees nearly touching his, “Tell me, have you ever felt in love before?”
Your question seemed to catch him off guard yet he answered as bluntly as he would regarding anything else, “Only with my paintings.”
“And that had been a choice, to continue, right?” You asked, “Love like every emotion is temporary and inconsistent. Yes, doing certain things or being with certain people might invoke these feelings but once that has dwindled it is your choice to remain in that constant state of loving something—or someone. I love writing, I always have because it is my choice. I choose to subject myself to the hardships that come with my work even at times where I think I hate it. Even at times when I choose to give up I think about the joy it brings me, the emotions that pour out of me and onto every letter and word I put down on paper. I choose to love writing, I choose to devote myself to it and I choose to put it above anything else in the world, even my own relationships.”
Taehyung could see it in your eyes how strongly you felt about it. Your answer had gone slightly off topic but he understood your reference to it in every word you spew, “So when I say I believe in love… I don’t mean it in regards to a feeling that transpires throughout inconsistently, but I mean it as a choice to continue to feel that way even when it hurts and I can’t take it any more.”
A silence seemed to drag on between you and for a moment you wondered if you said too much and sounded too stupid. Taehyung seemed to inhale and exhale at once, “Well, I do say, we have very similar ideals. I don’t think I could’ve put it into better words than a writer even if I tried.”
You couldn’t help but smile, hiding it behind your wine glass, “Maybe you’ll paint them instead.”
“Maybe, I’ll paint you instead,” Taehyung said with a pale yet serene expression like he was scared to speak his words and exhilarated by them all the same.
How could someone seem to get lost and sound so dazed when talking about writing? Did writing mean as much to you as his art did to him? Is that why there was never a need for many words to be spoken between you? Was that why he was able to enjoy your presence so long and so quickly when before you would never even speak? Was there always this underlying connection between your minds and how you viewed art and your world?
You rested your glass on the table as you took in his living room again and all its character, there was a set of paintbrushes just laying on his table and you reached for one. The wood was smooth between your fingertips as you twisted it before looking up at him with a curious gaze, “With one of these?”
Taehyung simply nodded his head watching you lift your skirt up just enough to expose a bit of leg and you brushed the art tool against your calf, “It’s soft.”
His tongue ran over his lips and he leaned forward to gently take the brush back. You were nearing an apology for taking it without asking him first but he simply scooted closer to you on the blanket he laid beneath you and placed your legs over his, skirt of your dress rising even further until he was running the brush over the curve of your knee, “I use it to blend shadows, like this.”
The brush felt soft against your skin, sending tingles down your spine as he ran it over you in circular motions, eyes on yours.
“I tried painting once,” you said as his finger slowly traded with the brush until he was softly touching you, “I wasn’t that good, I couldn’t portray the right picture.”
Taehyung just smiled as he felt you hand go over his while taking the brush back until you were tracing the curve of his wrist, “Paint with your words, and show me you’d write me, like your character.”
“He is very similar to you,” you said, “In almost every aspect and I didn’t realize that until today.”
“Mm,” Taehyung hummed in content when you lifted the brush toward the collar of his unbuttoned shirt, teasing him without realizing it. You seemed to use the brush against him without much thought of what you were doing and how it affected him. You should know, though, that the feel of his art tool against his skin would feel good to him. The soft bristles tickled his collarbone, “How would he make love?”
That seemed to catch you by surprise as you slowed your touch to look up at him. He just bit his lip, hand on your leg caressing it as he waited for your response. Without missing a beat, you said, “Slowly, starting with a sweet kiss.”
A small smirk came to his face, one that only he could pull off without looking cocky. He looked smart and pretty with his glasses and blonde hair, when he spoke he made it sound poetic and when he looked at you it felt like he was focused on whatever was beneath the surface. You watched him push his glasses up the slope of his nose and before you knew it, he was leaning closer, lithe fingers coming up to touch your chin and tilt your jaw.
Although you knew what was coming, there was no denying the small second of hesitation that coursed through you when his lips so tenderly pressed against yours, his voice low as he asked, “Like this?”
You licked your lips despite the extremely small space between yours and his and without the ounce of hesitation from earlier, your hand came up to his neck where you pulled him into you for a real kiss. It started off slowly just like the two of you knew it would but there was no denying the desire that laced throughout it. At first all that happened was your mouths moving against each other, getting used to the idea of kissing — something neither of you have done in a while. Then, it became more feverish. If possible, you seemed to move closer with your hand on his thigh to support yourself. You were on your knees leaning into him and he had a single hand against the floor to support his sitting position while the other was cupping your chin for the best angle. There was a growing intensity between your mouths, lips moving more forcefully now, saliva gradually increasing when you felt his tongue make a swiping motion against your lips.
“Or like this?” His voice had become more hoarse with need. He enjoyed feeling the way your body seemed to lean toward his and he seemed to ask, “What would he do next?”
“It’s not what he would do next,” you said as you moved without your own violation and trailed your lips along the curve of his jaw, “But what would happen to him next.”
Taehyung’s head seemed to tip back as he used both of his hands to keep him upright while you moved between his patted legs to kiss down his neck. He licked at his lips, slowly blinking at the first feel of your tongue licking his ear lobe before you sucked it into your mouth making a tingle run down his spine. Your warm breath tickling his ear made his breath bitch and it didn’t take you long to realize that you had found his weak spot. Unable to help yourself you brought your mouth back to his for a kiss that was much needier than any of the ones prior.
“Y/n,” Taehyung’s throat was dry and it made his voice raspier than usual, “Touch me more.”
The words surprised you. You didn’t take him for much of a womanizer but you didn’t think he would seem this touch starved. The last person you had slept with had been your dear friend, Namjoon, and when you realized feelings were beg bring to get involved you were to end the rendezvous that had transpired between you two in an effort to save the friendship and his feelings. You couldn’t explain why you could never see him as more than a friend—and you couldn’t explain why it was so easy to view Taehyung as something more. Your mind had been drawn to him before your body and yet it all felt the same.
You began to crawl away from him and in an effort to keep this going, he went after you with another kiss before your hand touched his chest to keep him in place. It got to the point where Taehyung wasn’t sure if it was the cashmere brown sweater he wore that made his body heat up, or if it was being too close to the fireplace but he felt himself begin to break into a sweat.
He stretched his legs out before him when he got the hint of what you wanted to do watching you shimmy down until you were nearly eye level with his pants and the evident bulge becoming more prominent with each passing second. Taehyung was not ashamed of how quickly you seemed to get to him and his body’s reaction to you. Sex was a normal thing, it was poetic and passionate if done with the right person and he hasn’t done it in a while—a long while. It was completely normal for him to release a light gasp when your hand grazed his inner thigh just inching toward his growing erection.
The two of you made eye contact once more, his lip caught between his teeth and his eyelids low in a lustful gaze that matched your own. There was a strong attraction toward each other — infatuation if you will — and you can’t say there’s romantic feelings between you but there’s no denying that there has been the underlying sexual tension that rose from a clear understanding of each other’s devotion to your work. It turns you on to know he seems to connect with your ideals.
You didn’t even realize Taehyung had moved a hand behind you until he was pulling on the back of your head to drag you back into a needy kiss. Your hands had already gone toward his slacks and you had been unzipping the front as the two of you made out once more. Taehyung’s hand fell back to the ground with a groan as you yanked at his underwear making him lift his hips enough for them to come down with his pants. A small hissing sound left his lips as his hard dick finally made its appearance, springing free of its right confines, hard enough to already angle toward his navel.
Taehyung was not ashamed by the way his stomach caved in with a deep breath at the first feel of your hand wrapping around his tip spreading the beads of precum that had already dribbled out the slit. His tongue was in your mouth, sliding against yours with you swallowing each groan he let out when you began to stroke his length slowly from base to tip. Like earlier, when you tried pulling away from the kiss to catch your breath, he was following after you to stop you from breaking apart from him.
A thin line of drool connected your mouth to his as you finally pulled back, biting down on your lip. He watched you look down at his exposed member, leaning down until you were face to face with it. His long fingers curled around your hair, slowly pushing your head down just a middle until he felt the first tender lick of your tongue along his tip. Taehyung’s entire body reacted to the way you tentatively licked his head teasingly making a small shudder travel right through him.
You have to say, Taehyung has one of the prettiest dicks you’ve ever seen and you just couldn’t help but want to savor it. It was just so pretty and you found yourself wanting to play with it some more. Your hand held onto him at his base as you ran your tongue down the side of his length lathering it in drool to aid your closed fist.
His brows scrunched together as he attempted to watch what you were doing. He could feel your hand jerking him off as you teasingly kissed up his side and tip, tongue swirling around his slit that leaked precum. He just couldn’t see you over the bulk of his sweater.
With an annoyed huffed, he released your hair to pull at his sweater with one arm as he brought it up toward his chest and tucked it under his jaw. Just as he had it fixed, a low and deep sound vibrating in his chest feeling your lips finally surround his tip, sucking gently before relaxing and taking more of him inside. You made yourself relax so you could loosen your jaw enough to accommodate his length as you began to suck him off, tongue licking along the bottom side everytime you bobbed your head up and down.
You had a firm hand on his upper thigh as the other was at his base against his pelvic bone to hold his hips down and let your mouth do all the work. His sweater slipped from under his chin making him groan as he threw his head back, “So good.”
He kept his gaze on the ceiling taking in the feel of your warm and tight mouth taking his cock so deeply. You looked up at his stomach trying to see his face but with the way his head was tilted back, you just couldn’t. All you could see was his chest rise and lower with each breathy sigh he let out, ducking his cock deeper down your throat.
Unable to help yourself, you moved your hand to his navel, feeling his breathing better and he needed to see what you looked like with his dick in your mouth.
He held the end of his sweater between his teeth as he stared down the expanse of his torso to where you laid between his legs swallowing around his cock with a dark look in your eyes that had him muffling a moan.
His hips bucked helplessly into you making you swallow more and more of his length till you couldn’t breathe properly anymore and needed to get off. The hand you still had on his dick began to stroke him, wrist flicking on each upward stroke to make your palm run along his slit while you caught your breath. You watched him in complete awe, he was so hard and his balls tightened against that you couldn’t help but lick between them.
"Fuck," the sweater made it hard to hear him as hw sank his teeth into it feeling it begin to moisten annoyingly so bur he was not going to miss the sight of you kissing below his cock to his balls.
When you finally decided to take him back in your mouth there was no slow build up, it was quick and sudden as you took him down your throat to the point where you gagged around him. The way he bit into the sweater looked like a restraint and he looked so pretty with the fire reflecting off his tan, bare chest and his blonde hair was just a knotted mess from how often he shook it.
“Y/n, you feel so good,” You were never much of a talker during sex, especially if it wasn’t genuine and just superficial dirty talk but he sounded so good moaning your name even if you couldn’t hear him properly.
There wasn’t much warning aside from the incessant moaning that fell from his lips and was swallowed in cashmere for you to know he was close. His hips bucked messily into your mouth, cock twitching with the need to just let go and when you met your mouth with your fist jerking off the rest of him… he just couldn’t take anymore.
Taehyung’s head fell back with a dry moan as the urge to cum got the best of him and he let go in your mouth. You didn’t seem to mind either, once the surprise of the suddenness had worn off, you didn’t hesitate but to try and swallow as much of the thick semen as you could, not at all bothered by the taste of it. Taehyung had to let his sweater go to breathe heavily through his parted lips as he used his elbows to sit himself up in the blanket, trying to understand what had just happened.
“Mm,” you hummed, proud of yourself for making him cum down your throat and you sat up to look at him. Taehyung met your eyes with his feeling heavy with need as he licked his dry lips before forcing himself to sit up properly so he could drag you into a deep kiss. You released a light mewl in surprise, kissing him back eagerly with his hand below your ear on your neck guiding you to angle your head one way while he went the other.
There was not a single part of him that felt bothered at the taste of himself on your tongue, if anything it only made him want you more so he could repay you for treating him so well. Once you had gotten lost in your little makeout, it was easy for you to follow his lead as he moved over you to get you to lie down in his place. The only time he pulled away from you was to finally free himself from the confines of his stupid sweaters and kick off his pants the rest of the way. It didn’t take you long to get what he wanted and you hurried to remove your cardigan feeling the straps of your dress begin to slip off your shoulders. Taehyung dragged you to him, kissing along the exposed skin of your collarbone and shoulder, hands sliding down your back till they could inch the dress down and off of you, making you take it off through the bottom so he wouldn’t have to pull away again.
Your bra and underwear were made of a thin crème colored lace that looked pretty against your complexion and soft between his fingertips as he ran his hands over your covered breasts that had been taunting him all night.
A quiet gasp left your lips due to the way his lips kissed down the valley of your breaths, soft hair tickling your neck. Taehyung’s hands held onto your sides, sliding them up to the end of your bra, feeling you arch your back into his affections until he was able to move them under your to grab at the clasp. Once he was able to unhook it, he tugged it off your arms letting you throw it to the side and dragged him into another kiss when he cupped your bare tits in his warm hands, using his thumbs to rub over your hardening nipples.
“Taehyung,” you whined softly against him, eyes on the ceiling when he began to leave love bites along your neck, traveling his wet mouth lower and lower down your stomach.
“Hm,” he hummed in acknowledgement, making his way between your legs while his hands groped your chest loving the softness of your skin under his rough painter’s hands.
As Taehyung slipped further between your legs till his face was near your spread legs, he looked down. The lace underwear was transparent enough for him to see just a bit underneath and he could see a small shadow of slick over where your cunt should be. He tried to look up at you through his blonde fringe and you sat forward enough to brush it back, smiling as he pressed a teasing kiss against the hood of your clit over your underwear. You lied back down letting yourself relax feeling his fingers hook under the hem of your panties till he was tugging it off and move your thighs over his shoulders so he four fit snugly against you.
Taehyung didn’t waste time teasing you, he had already been so turned on that not even cumming down your throat was able to calm his raging hormones. He just wanted to have you as soon as he could, any way he could, and that meant with his tongue stiffening as he parted your folds around him before licking flatly toward your clit. A light moan left your lips as your clit immediately reacted to stimulation, a small gush of slick pushing out of your pussy with arousal. Taehyung was not inexperienced in the art of making someone cum undone on his to hue and that was becoming more and more evident with the way he made out with your cunt like it was your mouth.
“Oh my god,” you threw your head back, out of breath, as his tongue began to flick messily at your clit while hands slid further down your inner thighs until he was using his thumbs to pull your folds apart for him. You could feel your wetness begin to drip further down but he was quick to leave your clit and lap his tongue against your wet entrance where your arousal seemed to form a puddle at. With the way his thumbs kept you open, you felt everything.
Every now and then his thumb would teasingly push in just a little more than before, acting like he didn’t even notice he was doing it while he hungrily sucked on your clit, tugging it between his lips. His thumb was rubbing against your labia, pressing into it, teasing your entrance every now and then by pushing into it until he felt your legs begin to tremble around him. Unable to help himself, he got a big more rough, tonguing your clit with such effort that his head shook with eagerness, swallowing your slick and pressing his face into your cunt to taste all that you had to offer.
“Oh,” you breathed out shakily, hand sinking into his hair when he nosed at your clit, tongue joining his finger as he thrusted it into you, “I-I, oh god.”
“Mhm,” Taehyung nodded, urging you to let go of him and you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning. Your thighs tried shutting but his head didn’t let you and instead you pressed them against him making him groan with need, eyes nearly rolling as he doubled his efforts.
Your throat became dry as you planted heavily, hips bucking against his mouth until finally you felt the knot in your stomach come undone. His motions did not miss a beat in licking everything you had to offer as your orgasm came in a wave.
“S-so, good,” you breathed out tiredly feeling your pussy walls clenching around nothing and as much as you wanted to just be done, you needed him inside you. When he came up to kiss you, you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him flush against you so his hard cock rutted against your wet pussy. The taste of each other on your tongues was what made it easy for you two to want to keep going without the thought of repercussions. His hand slid between your sweaty bodies to hold his cock, lining it up with your entrance, bumping into your clue as he refused to break away from the kiss.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close as the two of you looked at each other with such need, such want that your lips didn’t spend too long apart from each other.
Your tongue met his just as his cock met the inside of your pussy, taking it slowly as he stroked himself with your slick to ease himself in better. His dick was rock hard, and your pussy was so fucking wet he couldn’t help but moan into your mouth as you took him in.
Taehyung has to hold onto you with a hand on your waist to keep you from sliding away from him too much as the blanket wrinkles on his wooden floor. He had his other tucked by the side of your head looking down at you lovingly as he finally began to thrust, “Tell me if it’s too much, love.”
“Mhm,” you said softly, legs falling apart even more to accommodate his as he dug his knees into the floor so he use his hips to fuck you better. A groan left his lips at the expert roll of your pelvis against his taking more and more of his length inside your tight walls.
“You make me feel so full,” you moaned gently into his ear as he dropped his head down against your neck to try and ignore the fact that your pussy around his dick without any protective layer between them felt so fucking good. You were already so close and he’s barely started. He fucked you slowly but firmly, getting himself used to being inside you and sucking on your neck, his hand left your hip to cup your breast once more and you gasped when he pinched your nipple.
“So tight,” Taehyung breathed out heavily with a single touch thrust that had your walls tightening around him, “So good for me.”
He did it again, and once again drew another moan out of you, repeating his thrusts more roughly than before until you were moaning out a string of his name.
Taehyung was well endowed and you never doubted that for even a second. He knew how to have sex, not just to fuck, but to have sex. It wasn’t just loud groans and rough thrusts. He was sensual, he kissed your neck, whispered sweet words of praise in your ear, touch your body as he fucked you almost passionately—unlike the usual guys you hook up with.
“It’s like you were made for me,” Taehyung groaned, brows scrunched together in concentration as he pulled back to sit and swing your right leg over him to press against your left until you were nearly lying on your side. He laid down next to you, curving his body against yours and lifting your leg back and held it up with his knee as he fucked you from the side. His lips were against your ear, whispering, “Just for me, like my own creation.”
“Mhm,” you hummed, “Just for you, please Taehyung, I’m so close.”
You looked straight out of a vintage erotica film. His apartment was warm due to the fireplace and comforting because of the classical music playing. The moon looked over you as you had sex, nearly love making, lying on your sides with his body cuddled into yours, fucking you with his cock while groping your breasts in his hands. You had to angle your head back and then your neck to kiss him and he swallowed your mouth with his, thrusts getting tougher as he curled around you, “Me too, love, all for you.”
“So paint me,” you moaned, fucking back against him.
For a moment he wondered if you meant on a canvas, or with his cock in your pussy, but he realized he would gladly do both if you let him. Your hand slid back to guide his hips into yours, “Cum, Taehyung, inside me, please.”
“Oh god,” a low growl left his lips as he dug his face into your hair, “Fuck, Y/n, d-don’t tempt me.”
“Do it,” your hand came up to his hair now, dragging his head toward yours until your lips met in a messy kiss, “I’m going to cum, Tae, please.”
It wasn’t a good idea. You were on the pill but he didn’t know that, all he knew was that he wasn’t wearing a condom and he wanted to fill you with so much cum that he painted you white.
“Mhm,” he moaned when you tugged on his bottom lip between your teeth and his hand pinched your hips, “Cum, Y/n, please—oh fuck.”
The only thing that came from you two was the sound of skin slapping as the urge to cum overtook you both and you were fucking like rabbits in heat. Nothing but animalistic grunts left him as he finally felt the flood of release you let go around with him with a whine of his name and before he knew it, he was cumming.
You immediately felt full with his release as it joined yours, cock pulsing inside you as he waited a moment to reel his emotions back in, sweaty forehead pressed against yours, “So good.” He hugged you closely, breathing heavily into your neck, softly kissing your skin affectionately.
It took you both some time to regain awareness of what had just happened and you lied on the fur blanket he had tossed on the floor. The fire sizzled behind you and some classical song [you were ashamed to admit you didn’t know] was playing. Taehyung seemed to be more in control of himself now and reached up to his small table in search of his pack. Once he had a cigarette between his lips, he lay back down next to you to catch his breath, pressing it to yours next.
There was a sort of glow to your skin, your eyes shined with the night sky reflecting through the windows. Light came from the fire not far behind and a small dim lamp in the corner yet the moon was still casted over you two.
His eyes traced your features once more and before he knew it, he was saying something unexpected, “She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.”
Despite the way your heart seemed to stop, your brows furrowed, “What?”
Taehyung took another drag of his cigarette, “Who wrote that? ‘She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen’ I read it somewhere… ‘With stars in her eyes’.”
Your eyes seemed to widen as you thought it over for a second. A sense of realization flooded you but even knowing you might be right, you still shyly asked, “Virgina Woolf?”
“Yes, I believe so, ‘She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, with stars in her eyes and veils in her hair.’ I read it years ago,” Taehyung stared out at the moon through the bay windows, “Anyways, it just came to mind, and reminded me of you.”
There was a cloud of smoke drifting into nothing like they were his words being absorbed all around you. After that a silence seemed to fill the room and it was so calming in fact that you found yourself lulled to sleep against his chest.
It wasn’t until hours later when you had woken to loud noises, did you realize that he had not had the luxury of peaceful post-sex sleep.
The first thing you had noticed in your haze of sleep was the sky still blue out and the fire still crackling behind you. The second was that you still slept on the floor and Taehyung was not beside you anymore. It took you some time to realize all the noise that had woken you up was coming from him and his quick brush strokes.
Taehyung had a pair of jeans on and a smock. He didn’t even bother with a shirt, just slipped the smock over his bare chest and he sat on the floor with a pallet full of paint in his hands as he did soft strokes on his canvas. He was so focused that he didn’t seem to mind his glasses which had slipped down to the tip of his nose, lips slightly parted in concentration and eyes bouncing around his painting.
You wondered what this meant for you. You didn’t know what time it was but the way he worked so diligently didn’t even make you want to stay, what if it would bother him? You don’t want to do that and he seems to have already forgotten you were there and what you had just done. With a small sigh you looked around for all of your things, finishing getting dressed and in search of your shoes and bag.
Taehyung’s strokes were fast and agile, he didn’t even have to think of how he was painting, he was just moving mindlessly and mixing all the right colors and blending in all the right places. You took a seat on the sofa trying to put your boots back on.
“What are you doing?” Taehyung asked but his eyes never left the canvas. You could barely hear him over the sound of the record player still playing and it took you a second to know he was even talking to you.
You looked up curiously, “Um… it’s late, I should probably go, I don’t want to disturb your work.”
You were very understanding actually. There are many times you’ve woken up in the middle of the night to write and you didn’t waste time on thinking of anything else while doing it so if Taehyung was the same about his painting then you didn’t want to bother him.
Taehyung pushed his glasses up with the tip of his brush as he finally looked at you, “You won’t disturb me. Stay.”
He watched as you brought your lower lip between your teeth in thought before saying, “Seriously Tae, I don’t mind leaving. You’re working, I understand.”
“But I mind,” Taehyung said in his deep voice that sounded even deeper this late with the fire in the fireplace still crackling and Beethoven’s String Quartet No. 14 playing in the background. You didn’t say anything for a moment and he ran a hand through his messy hair, a small paint streak coating a strand, “Won’t you stay, Y/n? I’ve been in a slump and right now it just hit me all at once and I think it’s because of you. Please, won’t you stay?”
“Can I watch?”
Taehyung did not hesitate to nod his head and motion for you to sit on the floor next to him so you moved quickly to do so.
By the end of the night you watched him paint until dawn with your head resting against his back adoringly. His brush strokes were hypnotizing and the way he captured the light perfectly had you in awe, especially when you realized it was a painting of you.
It inspired you the way he was so devoted to his work and it reminded you of yourself.
Your days carried on as usual after that night with Taehyung. The only differences being ones that involved him. For instance, he has called you a couple times —he’s completely against the act of texting. It’s never anything major, usually to ask how your day has been or to get coffee. There was no sign of an actual relationship but it was close to it.
Today you had your shared anatomy class and he sat next to you instead of behind you like he normally would.
You’re not very fond of the fact that he’s distracting you more than you would like him to but it’s something you can’t explain. Your pen scribbled away in your yellow page notebook with word after word just piecing together effortlessly. Taehyung was utterly fascinated by it all, sometimes you wouldn’t even look down but your pen seemed to never fully lift off the page. You filled page after page in the three hour class, eyes on the professor but nothing you wrote down had to do with what he was teaching.
Every now and then you would look over at him and your eyes would meet, he would raise a brow and you would give him a smile, before looking down to write.
“I don’t think you heard a single thing he said today,” Taehyung said once the two of you made your way out of the lecture hall side by side. From the way you stared off into space, lips moving every now and then as if mouthing silent words, he knew you weren’t listening. He doubts you meant to ignore him but clearly you seemed to be in your own world right now, just thinking about writing and writing and he gets it.
You weren’t thinking of anything else, and he knows this because he had to grab onto your waist and pull you back to keep you from walking right into the pouring rain just outside. You seemed to snap back into reality and looked around, “Did you say something?”
Taehyung was opening his umbrella for you, pulling you under it beside him, “I’ve written notes for you, you seemed a bit distracted to take them yourself today.”
Your eyes slowly widened in surprise as it finally dawned on you that you had spent the last three hours doing nothing but writing about him. You came to a sudden stop and he waited there beside you with the rain pounding on his umbrella. With a small sigh, he let go of you to rummage through his bag with his free hand and took out his notebook, “I wrote two of everything.”
“Taehyung,” you said, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know,” he said with a shrug, “But you were so lost in your writing I didn’t want anything disturbing you. I had no problem with it, I’m a fast writer and a good listener.”
“Thank you,” you finally began to walk again now that you couldn’t bear the cold standing in one place, “I am bad at focusing on anything else when I write.”
“I understand,” he had to speak up so you could hear him over the rain, “And if you do not think I would be a bother, maybe you’ll let me watch you write more?”
“You’ll get bored,” you said as the two of you walked toward his car, a vintage Chevrolet Corvette that belonged to his grandfather.
“Watching you?” He asked, holding the door open for you, “Never.”
Your apartment was how he pictured it—books and papers scattered everywhere. You were still much neater than him but not by much, clearly the two of you focused too much on your craft that it’s completely taken over everything.
Your place was small yet spacious and well furnished with vintage chairs and mahogany bookshelves. There was a slight clutter of books upon books and dead plants that didn’t get enough sun with the curtains closed. It was warm and had your lovely scent. There was a stack of papers on a desk next to a laptop and an expensive looking typewriter.
There wasn’t much of a conversation going on between you, the last time you said something to him was when you asked him if he needed a drink. Your back was to him and he spent about an hour or so sitting alone on the daybed as he drew in his sketchbook.
After some time when you finally decided to join him, you were exhausted and physically drained. You lied down with your head on his lap looking up at him when his hand began to caress your cheek. “Taehyung.”
“Yes, my love?” He asked with his gaze meeting yours. The name just slipped and he didn’t care to take it back, only watched you curiously still waiting to hear what you would say. You blinked once, “I think I’m beginning to understand better.”
You had been writing nonstop for a long time but for the first time it felt like you finally understood your work.
There was no way to explain it but these interactions with Taehyung—your living reverie—have opened your eyes to his character and the way you wanted to write him in the first place. He was everything you had been searching for.
He leaned back, startled by the sudden way you sat up, hand around his looking at him, “You.”
“Me?” Taehyung asked with his hands on your waist, shifting you more on his lap, “You understand me?”
All it took was one nod of your head for him to be pulling you into a kiss meeting you halfway. He had a hand on your chin, angling your head opposite of his letting the kiss deepen, soon he was tracing the curve of your neck with his jaw. Every ounce of lust and greed poured out in his fingers when he touched you.
It didn’t take Jungkook long to realize something about his friend seemed different. He was used to Taehyung isolating himself when he had a wave of creativity. There would be days on end where Jungkook would call only for every call to be ignored. He would even write his friend letters but he never answered him. When he was back to normal, Taehyung would look tired like he hadn't eaten or slept in days.
Right now, Jungkook sees Taehyung but he doesn’t think Taehyung sees him. Despite sitting across from him, he wouldn’t look his way. Instead he was staring out the large windows that overlooked the courtyard
“Have you eaten?” Jungkook asked, looking up from his sketchbook. The two had been on the second floor of the library this evening studying classical art techniques. Jungkook had gotten bored and began to sketch up an idea for another sculpture while Taehyung drew someone he couldn’t recognize. His friend didn’t even so much as flinch and give any sign that he was listening.
A small scoff left his lips, “Taehyung.” With an annoyed huff, he reached for his sketchbook and watched with a confused expression, “Who is this?”
It was quite detailed despite how little time he had to draw this and Jungkook was in awe. For a second he wondered if this was original work from Taehyung, all created from his mind but as he followed Taehyung’s gaze out the window, he realized it wasn’t.
It was you.
You sat on a wooden bench facing the swan fountain and there was a book in your hands. Jungkook couldn’t make out the book but seemed to have all your attention because you stopped every now and then to highlight something then jot it down in a notebook. There were powder blue headphones on your head and you were in a red lace long sleeve top with roses embroidered on and under was a white shirt. The black skirt you wore reached below your knees with a slit on the side that exposed your boots and over it all, you had on a black coat. He’ll admit, you did look rather captivating against the dead green of the lawn and trees paired with the foggy sky from days on end of rain.
Taehyung seemed to have found his newest muse and it was all he could think about.
“Are you still interested in her?” Jungkook finally asked, catching the way a small smile seemed to fall on Taehyung’s face—something he rarely got to see despite how easily he gave them to you. Jungkook did recognize you in the drawing better once he got a good look at you. He had almost forgotten seeing you weeks ago when he was with Taehyung, but he had certainly forgotten his friend’s knowledge and curiosity of you.
“Only a little,” Taehyung said, ignoring the way Jungkook looked at him with disbelief. He was used to his friend having a sudden infatuation with a certain person but they were short lived and always ended with the poor girl crying about how cold he was—Jungkook knows because he was always there to pick up their broken pieces with a night in his bed [Taehyung never cared].
“She’s hot,” Jungkook said, half teasingly to read how his friend would feel. Taehyung merely gave him a side glance in acknowledgment but the smile he had for you had tightened as he looked back outside.
“It’s that guy again,” Jungkook pointed out as they both watched outside, “What’s his name?”
Kim Namjoon.
Taehyung was used to seeing him around throughout the years but he never had a need to pay attention to him before. Like most of those who he sees in passing they never become more than that—just a passing blur that he doesn’t care to know a single thing about. Namjoon used to be one of the ones he ignored until he heard you mention him once or twice.
“Who knows,” Taehyung said, shifting his gaze down to his sketch pad avoiding the sight of Namjoon and you now standing like you had somewhere to go.
Jungkook, the ever curious and procrastinating, kept watching you just out of sheer boredom. The library had gone dark aside from the few kerosene lamps scattered across tables but it was already getting hard to see his sketches properly so now he’s just waiting for Taehyung to finish.
Suddenly, all too suddenly that it made him jump in his seat, Taehyung was standing, shoving his things in his bag loud enough to create an echo in the cold library. Jungkook looked up at him, pencil laying limp in his hand now, “Are we done?”
Taehyung pushed his chair into the wooden table, not bothering to look back at his friend as he stormed off, “Yes.”
Not long after he watched his friend make his abrupt leave from the library… he saw him now approaching you and Namjoon.
You were blissfully unaware that you had been watching through the windows of a library as much as you were unaware of Taehyung coming up behind you as Namjoon talked. “I was thinking maybe we could go catch that new movie that just came out.”
“Oh, I was going to do some writing—You won’t believe it Joonie,” your tone changed so suddenly as you grabbed him by the arm, jerking him toward you excitedly carrying on like he hadn’t said anything, “It’s like I can’t stop writing, you wouldn’t believe how easily the words are flowing like… I don’t know, I’ve never felt this way before, Joonie.”
“That’s good, Y/n but,” Namjoon’s words slowed down as he looked behind you at the looming figure standing a few feet away. He’s never spoken a word to Kim Taehyung despite both being grad students, he only knows of him from what others have spoken and he’s very… cold. Since when did you and him begin to talk? Namjoon took your hands in his as he pulled you closer to have your attention knowing you still didn’t know who was behind you, “But it’s nice to get a break, you don’t want to overwork yourself.”
“You don’t get it, Namjoon,” you said his name instead of the affectionate nickname you’ve always called him, he couldn’t help but look at Taehyung who pretended like he wasn’t watching closely with a cigarette dangling between his fingers, “I can’t stop. I cannot stop. If I-I do, I don’t know.”
His gaze shifted behind you making you turn to look too and your eyes seemed to soften as you made eye contact with the dirty blonde you’ve been spending time with lately.
“Y/n,” Taehyung’s deep voice spoke as he stared at you two, “I thought you would be busy writing”
“I’m on my way to right now,” you said, taking a step toward him with your back to your friend, “Would you join me?”
A smile came to his face as he pushed his glasses up, “If I could paint you again.”
You stood still in thought. The first time he painted you was after you had sex for the first time when it felt warm, passionate and hungry. He never slept that night, he stayed up the entire time getting the right blends of pigment on your body as it lay on the flue blanket completely nude. You’re not sure if he knew what saying that would make you think but from the way his brow raised questioning made you think he did.
Namjoon felt his jaw clench, eyes glaring at Taehyung who didn’t even bat an eye in his direction. You looked back to Namjoon now who waited for you with a bated breath. You walked up to him making his heart face as you pressed your lips against his cheek with your softly brushing against his jaw. The kiss was tender on his face and when he looked down at you, you gave him an apologetic smile, “Will you call me?”
“Will you answer?” Namjoon asked but you weren’t beside him anymore. You were next to Taehyung who took your book bag off your shoulders and put it over his, a hand grazing your back as he talked to you but too far out of your friend’s ear shot.
“What did your friend want?” Taehyung asked.
“To see a movie but I have to finish what I’m writing before it slips my mind,” You said moving your hand to his bent arm walking alongside him, “I’ll have to catch up with him another day.”
He didn’t have anything to say to that but you could still feel his eyes on you. A part of you wanted to ignore his gaze because you find yourself at a loss for words any time he looks at you that way. It’s like he sees through you not at you and sometimes you don’t know which one is better.
There’s no denying that he likes the look of you, he finds you attractive and not just physically. You know that. You just can’t tell what he’s thinking that makes him look at you that way.
“Namjoon.”
He stood alone where you once had been beside him, just watching you leave with the art major he had no idea you were even involved with. Since when did you begin to talk to him and how did Namjoon never notice? Did you just decide that you would not be open with him anymore?
“Jimin,” Namjoon looked at his friend, a bit stunned, “Hey.”
The ballerina watched after you alongside him now as he asked, “Y/n is leaving with Taehyung?”
“Are they together?” Namjoon asked suddenly, “Did you know?”
Jimin shook his head no, “Not exactly, I mean, Y/n never hid the fact that she had a thing for Taehyung, I’m just surprised to see them leave together. Y/n never told me they began to talk.”
Namjoon bit his lip nervously, “You don’t think they’ll date or anything, do you? This just seems sudden.”
He looked to his friend for some comfort but all Jimin did was shrug his shoulders and say, “I don’t know, you know Y/n doesn’t really date and neither does he, they’re always too focused on writing or painting to think about anything else. Who knows, they might just work out because of how similar they are.”
“Yeah but…” Namjoon was trying to find words to say but nothing came to mind. Maybe he was just being bitter… he’s been your friend for years. He’s always been there for you anytime you needed him without question. You were attracted to him enough to sleep with him but was that all it was ever going to be? You won’t see him as more than just a friend but then Kim Taehyung comes along and suddenly you have no problem walking away from Namjoon to go with him?
Jimin looked at his friend apologetically, he sympathized with him. He’s known you for longer than Namjoon has and he’s been through this exact same thing before too. There was a time when he thought you and him were the closest until Namjoon came along and suddenly you spent all your time with him instead. Now Namjoon is experiencing what Jimin did but this time because of Taehyung and he feels bad for that.
“Look, I’m going to be honest,” Jimin tried to work out what he was going to say so it didn’t come off badly, “I think, Y/n loves the idea of Taehyung on paper… how she can write or create him like she’s done with you and I in the past. I think maybe it’s nothing past something superficial but at the same time…”
“At the same time,” Jimin repeated himself with a bated breath, “I see a lot of similarities between them especially when it comes to putting their work first and maybe that’s something they seem to understand about each other that we don’t.”
Namjoon didn’t get it.
So was it not that you two had feelings for each other?
Was it not that you might love each other?
Was it just that you two understood each other?
He doesn’t get it. Now, Namjoon might not understand your obsession with perfecting every aspect of your writing… but that didn’t mean he didn’t love you. He loved you a lot—more than he assumes Taehyung could love you.
It’s not like it’s a secret, Namjoon has always been open about the way he felt about you so why did you choose someone else? All because he couldn’t understand you the way Taehyung might? Is it because he can’t just look at you and know what you need the way Taehyung can?
Is it because he doesn’t spend hours missing sleep or eating just so he could obsess over his work too?
How could Taehyung possibly understand you more than he does?
::.
okokok this was kinda long but I’m sorry, blonde Taehyung as an art major was doing it for me 🫶this was a romance but also not necessarily bc the focus isn’t entirely on their relationship 🤒neither one of them are supposed to be super likable so if you hate them and the way oc did Joon and Jimin dirty i get it 🫡but they just genuinely do not think about anything but their craft.
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#kim taehyung#bts taehyung#taehyung smut#taehyung au#taehyung#taehyung imagine#Taehyung fic#Taehyung fanfic#taehyung oneshot#taehyung one shot#taehyung x reader#taehyung x oc#Taehyung angst#taehyung fluff#bts angst#bts fic#bts imagines
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hihi i saw you were semi-active on tumblr and figured i would ask if you'd be willing to elaborate a bit on the whole push/pull relationship theo and daphne have in lionheart? i've done a couple rereads but i still can't quite figure out how they feel about one another.
hope you're having a great christmas gt <3
i've got good news and bad news. the good news: you've read it perfectly well, because "can't figure out how they feel about one another" is exactly what's going on with them at any given moment. so this is greatly vindicating for both you as reader and myself as author. the bad news: you have just given me license to talk about theodore nott and daphne greengrass, a dynamic that gets an understandably small amount of attention and yet consumes large volumes of my headspace. so. spoilers ahead!
daphne and theo break my heart, because they're a story in wasted potential. theo and pansy are obviously old childhood friends, but i think daphne is just someone who knew them socially and only really got close to them at school — cf. her conversation with draco at the yule ball — because first year forced theo to make friends who weren't pansy for the first time, and daphne finally had a chance to socialize without her parents coddling her. they get along like a house on fire, pansy rocks up to join them in second year, and this is the cute little nega-Trio draco meets in book 2. it's a fashionable nucleus of dry humor and ferocious mutual protectiveness, which theo demonstrates especially in the hospital wing at the end of book 3.
but theo continues to suffer the chronic condition of Being Theodore Nott, and so when the plot comes knocking, things go south for him expeditiously, especially his personal relationships. daphne develops a crush on him as early as book 3, and being daphne, she's incredibly obvious about it, but being (1) a teenage boy and also (2) an incipient domestic terrorist, he naturally avoids dwelling on it — and then maybe-kind-of-starts-to-reciprocate, because hey huh wait a second you sure do care about this girl a lot, don't you, theodore? — but by that point the war's started revving up in the background and he has Other Shit To Deal With.
it doesn't help that the two of them are being drawn in radically different political directions, partly because of her friendship with draco, but also because of her own choices. theo's mistake here isn't malicious, but he really does ice daphne out (as he does everyone but pansy, pretty much, in fairness) for most of book 4, and by the time he realizes that he could actually lose her, it's too late. probably he doesn't realize how far she's migrating once she drifts out of his influence — daphne is incredibly susceptible to suggestion and is deeply influenced by those around her, which becomes clear once she's transplanted into gryffindor and discovers this much kinder, more chivalrous side of her nature. given that chameleon-quality of hers, it's understandable for theo to be shocked when she pivots away from him and pansy the space of less than a year. but also, I think it's telling that he's that surprised, since daphne hasn't been in good with the rest of slytherin for months at this point. and in turn, this surprise angers her, because like — dude, seriously? forget the romantic stuff; you're supposed to be her best friend, and you couldn't tell that she was doing a Character Arc behind your back? (strains of this feeling heavily inform what she says to draco during the Yule Ball, especially re: theo and pansy being each other's platonic soulmates. she feels locked out, in every sense: from slytherin, from her friends, from her parents, from everything. she wants in on something, and it drives her to do something pretty callous to draco and hermione, as she realizes and regrets. daphne is not always a kind person, even when she's a nice one.)
that anger, and theo's unfortunate failure to do anything useful about it whatsoever — slytherins! purebloods! low EQ! not great at the whole making-amends thing! — is what makes it possible for her to sever ties with slytherin completely, effectively terminating the close friendship she had with him and pansy (who's slightly less reconciled to that separation, but pansy is also much less politically involved than theo both philosophically and functionally, so it's easier for her to double-dip). it's my headcanon that if theo had even 15% less to worry about, he'd be making more of an effort to revive that relationship, but kid is in hardcore Survival Mode for most of book 4, and just knowing that daphne's not in immediate physical danger has to be enough for him. meanwhile, upstairs, daphne is discovering the Life-Changing Magic of Real Friendship, and like, it's kind of a blast? and lavender and parvati are really cool? and gosh now that theo isn't the center of her living universe, isn't it funny how all these tall good-looking boys are wandering around? funny, that!!
this isn't to say that their story is finished — it isn't! there's still a lot of gas left in this tank, and many, many things these two have left to say to each other — but that's where the story leaves us. they were close; there was a real possibility of something, and likely some degree of mutual interest; but the timing was never right, and it's not going to get any easier if things keep going in the direction they are now. (but who knows?)
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˗ˋ ୨ - 𝒏𝒆𝒘𝒔 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒂𝒑 𝒖𝒑 : 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 - ୧ ˊ˗
holidays are my only opportunity to be unapologetically sappy on this blog , i think . . . . ( /j ) and since it’s going to be 2024 in like 20 minutes here in australia i wanted to get this out before it gets too late into the night hehe also ! i have a lot i want to say
( also comm showcase because i thought that'd be cute )
so it’s almost been a year since i properly ( there's no way to properly do it but you understand . . ) started self-shipping , i think ? and it's ( in all honesty ? ) helped me through much of the year
i started this blog back in march i believe , but i consider our anniversary to be in may ( i thought it was august but a very silly girlie got dates mixed up with lore if you could believe ehe ; ) which . . is five months off but it still feels pretty close ! he’s become such an intrinsic and important part of my life now that it feels as if it’s always been this way i guess . i’ve said it before but his character is just so kind and gentle and caring but also he’s reminded be how lovely it is to actually romanticise life a little bit and how good it feels to embrace your passion/s
i um . . i love him very much ? 🩵🥺
he’s such a genuine source of comfort and so very dear to my heart , and I truly think he’s going to be my love favourite forever and i can't wait to do more ship stuff in the coming year hehe !
i’ve been with this series for sixteen years now . because i'm old . ( /j ) it was such a huge staple of my childhood and maybe i’ll talk about it someday - i'd like to ! - because many of my dearest memories are centred around this franchise. perhaps this blog was always inevitable in that way , i like to joke about self shipping with him is like a long term membership bonus . . but either way , in a sense i feel so lucky i get to express my love for it in this way if that makes sense ?
marianne ( having been made this year ) is also important to me in a way that’s . . come to surprise me , honestly ? i haven’t had an ‘ oc ‘ in a very long while so perhaps i just forgot about how emotionally attached you can really become . it’s probably also no shock that despite being a self insert, she’s very personal to me . .
as someone that admittedly struggles with quite a bit of negative self talk, being able to say i like these parts of myself that i implement into her character has been quite healing for me as well ! and being able to rediscover my love for collecting flowers and coffee was also something really fun to do ! to the person that designed her ( you know who you are hehe ) I’m so incredibly grateful you bought her to life. It truly does mean sm . .
as well as to everyone that's drawn her of course hehe , im always so giddy to see my little beloveds drawn so prettyful !
i really can’t emphasise enough just how grateful i am for both the community and all of my really lovely moots. i’m rather quiet so i don’t talk a lot but the interactions i’ve had on here are soso special to me and i really do cherish them so much no matter how small . . i have so many fond memories this year of that alone and it makes me tearyy
happy happy 2024 to you and your beloveds hehe - if you actually managed to sit through all this I’m actually spinning you around so so much you very lovely and sweet . I hope the new year is everything you want it to be ! sending you each and every one of my best wishes your waaay mwah mwah !
#: charm's chatting ✦#⊱ long post ⊰#⊱ gush post ⊰#( art creds in alt txt )#font sizing wont cooperate again ;
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hi hope ur happy and healthy! i don’t know if u write for niragi aswell but how do u think niragi and chishiya would react to a clingy fem s/o. like she loves cuddling and is kinda pushy but doesn’t cross boundaries obviously
Helloo! Thank you anon. I kind of got carried away and rather than just headcanons, I wrote out like a split one-shot instead.
For some reason, I figured that since Chishiya and Niragi are toxic af, their s/o would probably feel entitled to a bit of clinginess. Though maybe this went too far - the s/o characters kind of teased them about it... maybe they crossed the boundaries a bit too much.
Thank you though for giving me an opportunity to write from Niragi's POV for the first time. Now that was an interesting experience
Chishiya x fem s/o
Niragi x fem s/o
*some mature themes in the Niragi one*
______________________________
Chishiya
Tact and subtlety. That was the best way to approach an issue like this. The last time we had discussed boundaries, she ran, crying, all the way up to the rooftop before explaining everything to Hatter. The memory was still fresh in my mind, and the last thing I needed was my private issues being aired out in front of the executives. I had to make myself clear, re-establish those boundaries before they were crossed again.
‘Chishiya?’
Perfect timing. There was a tentative knock on the door.
‘Are you in here Chishiya?’
The door opened slowly. She peered around with a kind of trepidation, as if she knew perfectly well that I hated when people barged into my room. Her eyes finally settled on me, crinkling into a smile as she skipped her way over to the couch where I was sitting and plopped herself beside me. Much too close beside me.
‘Where did you go? I was looking for you everywhere?’
‘Here, obviously.’
She frowned slightly, then masked it over with a smile again. ‘Well, yeah. I know that. I just meant why? You disappeared and left me in the lobby.’
‘I wanted to be alone.’
Tact and subtlety.
Surely she would catch on. My hints were crystal clear - blunter than Niragi’s pocket knife. But to my surprise, she leaned back into the couch and nestled her head against my shoulder.
‘It’s okay, we can have some alone time up here.’
Surely?
I got to my feet, detangling myself from her and ignoring her small protests of confusion. The way she was curled on the couch was so open, inviting. It was a part of her that I had always been drawn to, and it was hard to resist someone who was so welcoming in everything they did. But this was necessary.
I stood back, sliding my hands firmly into their pockets where she couldn’t get to them. And it seemed to work. Her face fell, realisation clicking.
‘Okay, what’s wrong? Did I say something?’
‘No.’
‘Something I did then?’
I averted my gaze to the window overlooking the pool, where the militants were sitting on recliners, snickering between themselves with their guns resting between their thighs. Last Boss had his katana stretched out over his knees, inspecting it for scratches.
‘Wait…’ she said slyly. The sudden shift in her tone brought me back into the room. ‘Is this about what I did in the meeting?’
A teasing glint flashed in her eyes. It was remarkable how she could treat this - me - as a laughing matter. What she did was infinitely dangerous, and yet she was so cavalier.
When I didn’t react or rise to her bait, she said, ‘Nobody saw it, you know. Relax.’
‘Niragi saw it.’
She sighed, waving a hand airily. ‘Oh dear, whatever must we do? Sir Niragi looks distastefully upon such brazen displays of affection.’
‘I don’t know why you’re laughing.’ Down by the pool, Niragi was excitedly disclosing something to the others, who smirked and shook their heads. ‘Do you know what this could do to us?’
There was a pause. ‘To you, you mean.’
I stared at her, refusing to give in no matter how much she smiled it off.
‘Fine, fine!’ She huffed. ‘Say no more. No holding hands in public.’
I gave her a pointed look.
‘Or playing with your hair.’
I cleared my throat.
‘Or trying to kiss you. I get it, okay. Executive Chishiya Shuntarou is not a fan of PDA.’
Saying it so brashly, she had reduced this entire situation - her showing vulnerabilities to a group of people who were violent and manipulative enough to take advantage of it - to a pathetic dating preference. I swallowed. Since when had my throat become so dry?
‘I’m not—’
‘You don’t have to worry about a thing!’ She reached across the couch for a stray napkin on the side table and pulled a pen from her hoodie pocket. ‘You know what, I’m going to need this in writing, just so I don’t forget.’
Something seized in my chest. I watched the napkin intently.
You wouldn’t…
She scribbled something down. I could clearly make out my full name, and the letters P, D and A, followed by her signature. Glancing up with earnest, she added, ‘I think for good measure, I’ll get Hatter and Aguni to sign this too.’
Subtlety and tact, I reminded myself, before diving headfirst for the napkin in her lap.
Niragi
God, how the hell had I ended up in this situation? Normally I was the one who pushed girls away with my so-called “posessive” behaviour. I was surprised things had ended up like this. And it was a little distracting, too. I mean, having a woman constantly fawning over you should have been the dream. But as it turned out, it was actually super uncool.
I’m a militant. She can’t just…
I had a reputation to uphold. I was a leader. A boss, in my own way. People answered to me, did what I said without a second thought, and for the first time ever, I was top dog around here.
Not for long if she keeps this up.
I scanned the poolside where the same people every night chose to drown themselves in a dream world rather than face the cold, hard reality. They were all clinging to their lives by a thread. But not me. I knew better than to allow myself to be distracted. Well, the only distraction I would give into was… The memory of last night ran fresh in my memory, and I grinned.
‘Niragi! I had a feeling I’d find you here.’
Her voice was achingly sweet. Just hearing it was enough to send me into a rage of blind attraction and blind irritation. She skipped up to the wire pool chair where I was lounging and immediately sank into my lap. She had changed her outfit, now wearing a black bikini with camo shorts, and it took all my strength not to graze my fingers all over her smooth skin.
God, she knew how to tempt me. It was almost a shame.
‘I didn’t see you after your executive meeting. Where did you go?’
I kept up appearances, pulling her further onto my lap. Dipping my head, I ran the tip of my tongue along her collar bone. ‘Nowhere you need to know about,’ I whispered, then bit the delicate skin of her neck.
‘Ow!’ She recoiled, clasping a hand over the reddened skin. ‘What the fuck? That was so uncalled for.’
‘Oh really?’
She leaned back, frowning deeply. ‘Obviously you’re mad at me.’
I pulled her closer, aiming to finish what I started on her collarbone. It’s not like I ever settled for half measures anyway. But before I could, her hand suddenly clamped over my nose and eyes, pushing me well away.
‘You’re not coming any closer until you tell me what that was about.’
Tsk. Annoying.
I feigned a smile, wondering if this time I might just be able to wriggle my way out of this without being slapped in public.
‘It’s nothing much,’ I played it off. ‘I just didn’t like that little show you put on in front of Aguni earlier.’
‘Show?’ She looked almost offended. ‘I don’t do shows, Niragi. You know that.’
‘You know what I mean. The whole “how long are you gonna steal him for?”, “when can I have him back?” thing. It’s getting old pretty fast.’
It wasn’t working. Unimpressed, she raised a brow as if she was waiting for me to get to the point already. Well, to hell with it. Might as well spit it out now.
‘Look, you know I want you in the militant faction,’ I told her. ‘I really do. But how am I gonna convince Aguni to let you in if you’re being so clingy?’
The word slipped out without me realising, and at that point, I realised I had royally fucked up.
‘Clingy…’ Her eyes turned dark. ‘You think I’m clingy?’
‘No,’ I said abruptly, . ‘That’s not what I meant, baby. You know it wasn’t.’
‘So it was a freudian slip?’
I admit, I had dug my own grave there. Was there any way of salvaging this? Just when I thought my time was up, my life over, she laughed lightheartedly, her smile sweet and innocent. Too innocent.
‘That’s kind of cute Niragi,’ she called out, loud enough that the entire courtyard could hear, ‘but I’m just not sure I want to wear matching shirts.’
What. The. Fuck?
Several partygoers turned their heads, staring in confusion. Others seemed surprised, a few intrigued. Catching on quick, I tried to cover her mouth with my palm, but she batted it away with her hand.
‘Whatever you’re doing, cut it out!’ I hissed, trying to grab her wrist.
‘That’s kind of insane!’ She continued, raising her voice even higher. ‘Taking baths together? Yeah, I guess it would save water, but even I want my privacy.’
Some of the Beach’s members were whispering now. I couldn’t let her go on like this, she was out for blood, and… oh shit. Some of the militants had heard. My own subordinates. I felt the colour drain from my face.
‘This is pathetic. Stop it.’ I tried to wave at the others, signalling that it was a joke, but they only looked puzzled. What she said next sent cold dread tingling down my spine.
‘I guess I could dress as a bunny for you - is that what you’re into Niragi-chan?’
Niragi-chan? Bunnies?
‘Oh, it’s the ears that get you going, huh?’ She added, laughing now. ‘Who would’ve known!’
Every breath came out laboured. I could feel their eyes on me, their ridicule. I would have taken a slap any day compared to this.
‘Stop.’
She pursed her lips and finally lowered her tone to a hoarse whisper. ‘I don’t like you calling me clingy,’ she said, and gestured to the giggling spectators. ‘But actually I think the clingy one is you.’
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #146
I woke up feeling pretty good today. I have some 6 hours of sleep, which is still not ideal, but it's better than what I have been getting over the last few days. I did a little better with hydrating. And it's not Mother's Day today. I feel a little better.
I made a tea today for myself. I didn't have the energy to capture the brewing process this time, but I did get some of the nicer-looking swirls:
I thought the surface swirl looked kind of like a dragon turning its head to look behind it. So that was pretty cool!
...Today I made the vanilla rose tea; it's one that I think you might really like. I was inspired to go to an online place called Adagio to make my own tea blend that I thought might suit your tastes, given that it is known that you enjoy vanilla and roses. I ordered it in a little tin, and on the little tin, I had them put the picture I found of you sipping tea while looking out a window.
I've seen a lot of pictures of you, drawn by other people. The one of you drinking tea is by far the best one I've ever seen so far. But there's this other one where flowers of many colors are being braided into your hair; that one comes in second place. There's another one of you in a t-shirt, with your head in your arms, looking over affectionately at a curled-up and contented-looking cat.
...My favorite images of you will always be the ones in which you look happy, contented, and at peace.
After tea, I decided to shower. My mind has been funky, and one of the best ways to clear up a funky mind is to go in a warm place that smells nice. Most of my soaps are scented with roses, lavender, chamomile, or some combination thereof; I think you would like them.
...When is the last time you were able to enjoy a hot shower, with soaps that smell nice? Or a hot bath? I think you might enjoy the soaps available at my house, but given your height, I'm not sure the shower here would suit you well. You'd be welcome to use it anyhow, though (all of my friends are allowed to make use of our shower, beds, and washer/dryer), if you decided to visit; no one would bother you or get weird at you.
I blasted tunes while in the shower. There's a playlist I like to use specifically for it; it's filled with acapella renditions of various video game songs, done by an artist called Smooth McGroove; he's an amazing human being (and very kind, caring, and empathetic!) who is very skilled with the use of his voice. I love singing along with his various tunes!
...I felt A LOT better after that. Holy cow. Well enough, in fact, to begin pulling the lilac blossoms away from the greens:
Today, I even found a weird lilac blossom with six petals instead of the usual four:
...I decided that the non-standard lilac blossom is my favorite one.
In order to make good lilac syrup, you have to take the time to separate the blossoms away from the greens. This process takes a long time, but failure to do so will result in a bitter syrup. I spent three hours doing this alongside a different playlist, and I'm still nowhere near done. I'll have to continue tomorrow, assuming the remaining lilacs aren't too wilted by then...
One of my friends also invited me to a gathering of polyamorous people today. Apparently, it takes place at a local restaurant on the second Monday night of every month. I was really scared about going because I normally don't fare very well in large groups, and I really don't know how to social in general; I don't know how to politely insert myself into other people's conversations, and I don't know how to talk about myself without the other person getting overwhelmed, so normally I just watch others mingle and listen to their stories. One can learn much by simply sitting and listening, and I'm better suited to that than to speaking anyhow.
My friend, with whom I've been friends for 16 years, was with me, and he introduced me to various people. I was surprised to see one of my other friends there, too, but I suppose I shouldn't have been, given the fact that they are very active in the polyamory community. The room was chock full of neurodivergent people, and for the first time in a while, I didn't feel out-of-place. There were lots of folks in colorful outfits and gender-non-conforming clothing, and it was amazing to see! I wore my favorite shirt, along with my usual Eevee hat, cardigan, boots, and jeans, and the plush I carry everywhere, and I didn't at all feel self-conscious about it in this space.
There was, however, one older gentleman present who was dressed in more ordinary clothing, looking a little lost, out-of-place, and lonely. I noticed that the other people there were avoiding him, most likely because of his age and his style of dress, so I made it a point to approach him and to include him in my little group with my two friends and all their friends. I was delighted to discover that he has a very vibrant mind with many interests and a very omnivorous taste in music, games, and movies! He started out being very shy and uncertain, but I did my best to make him feel safe, and gradually he started opening up and talking very animatedly about the things he likes! Speaking with him was absolutely delightful! It was his first time going to this sort of activity, too, and I hope that next time, he will feel more confident and at ease instead of unwelcomed and avoided.
He spoke on being kind of an outcast when he was growing up and going to school. This was something I could very much relate to. We exchanged contact information, and I'm hoping to be able to get to know him better over time. I exchanged contact information with 3 other people in that space, too; I'm very much looking forward to getting to know them as well! One of them creates music and then puts it on a place called Soundcloud (that's where the acapellas I've made are!), and although I won't be able to listen to it tonight because I have to go to bed soon, I'm very much looking forward to listening to it tomorrow!
I didn't take any pictures of the people, because having your face in places is dangerous if you're a non-standard human; in addition to being polyamorous, lots of the people there were LGBTQ, and folks like us are very much hated in my world, to the point where people try to fire us from our jobs, ostracize us from our communities, or even torture and kill us - it's really very unfortunate. But I did get a couple pictures of some nearby flowers, and the scenery along the route to the place, and some pictures of the crafted flowers on the tables:
...Oh, and!!! I managed to snag a picture of a bird-of-prey in flight. They're always so far away and difficult to capture with my cellphone camera, but... well. It's the black speck in the sky. Here:
...Yesterday I said I felt disconnected from everyone and everything and like I don't belong. Today, I was invited to a place where there were a LOT of people like me, and just like that, a few new potential friends were simply dropped into my lap. This is unprecedented. And also very interesting. And also strange. But not in a bad way. I suddenly feel even more foolish about the bit of stupidity I pulled yesterday, ahahaha... 😅😬😓
...Tomorrow, I will pull more lilac blossoms from their greens, and then finally get started on steeping them in hot water to make syrup; it'll be very good. I'll probably be pulling blooms out of greens all day, but that's fine; it's very meditative sort of work. And autistic brains like mine tend to be well-suited for repetitive tasks like this; I can't complain.
I need to try to actually go to bed on time today, so I'm going to end today's letter here.
Hey, Sephiroth? If you're out there, reading these, listening to me, and cheering me on a little from where you are (impossible, I know, but maybe we can pretend)... thank you. Thank you for existing. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being yourself.
I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow. Stay safe for me, won't you?
Your friend,
Lumine
#sephiroth#ThankYouFFVIIDevs#ThankYouFF7Devs#ThankYouSephiroth#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy vii crisis core#final fantasy 7 crisis core#final fantasy crisis core#ffvii crisis core#ff7 crisis core#crisis core#ff7r#final fantasy vii remake#final fantasy 7 remake#ffvii remake#ff7 remake#final fantasy vii rebirth#final fantasy 7 rebirth#ffvii rebirth#ff7 rebirth#final fantasy 7 ever crisis#ffvii ever crisis#ff7 ever crisis#ffvii first soldier#semi-productive days#polyamory#wholesome
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In celebration of the miserable realization that I haven't updated in more than a year
I was thinking of how this happened and if I REALLY have done so little on the fic. A lot is going on but that shouldn't be my excuse; I had difficult years before. So what was I doing for the past year?
I published the Folken oneshot here and here (phew, there's at least something).
I do have SOME version of ch 17 ready that I have continually worked on, it's just that it doesn't feel up to my standards. What is worse, I cannot figure out what comes after. I have the CONCEPT and major scenes but the plotholes could sink the whole thing if I'm not careful. I hoped to have this figured out before publishing the next chapter, I usually had, in similar situations before. I wonder if I should just risk it and just go ahead.
I have some scenes that do not exactly fit into the fic at this point BUT I WANT to have them. What do? Force them in there somehow (I did that in the past already)? Create a separate "fic" for them? I feel like such an inexperienced writer when things like this and the previous one slow me down while others can produce chapter after chapter much more regularly.
I did A LOT of translation last year, and it was the hard kind, the novel translation. You kinda have to employ your skills there as a writer, too, besides dedicating buttload of time and patience. Maybe I tired myself out and hit the limits of my creative energy? It certainly feels like it at times. This is something that took me by surprise, in the past, the translation fueled rather than impeded my writing.
I did have some very engaging fic talks with a few of the readers and friends, I'm really thankful for that. They were obviously about the stuff I had already posted but I guess it doesn't hurt to think on the past things again, quite often, an inspiration hits from that. Not to mention motivation, it's incredibly motivational to have someone care about your story, I don't think I even need to say that. I even was lucky to lay my eyes on some fanart for the fic and although I can't say I contributed there such a treat ALWAYS deserves gratitude and mention <3
The questions also helped me understand where my writing is unclear or where it may get confusing. Besides the answers, I had to even look up some photo references and even did some pencil sketches. Although they are not great, it's the only thing that I've drawn in long months.
So, in case someone else wondered about the same things, and since I have some of these answers typed out already (with some of them quite elaborate as usual), I will post the "questions" below.
If there is any interest in any of the answers, I will publish them here. I wouldn't want to spam you otherwise, I mean, I get that it's the new chapter people would want to read, if anything. I can't make any other promises but I'll keep working on that as well. Anyway, an update of this blog was long overdue, so I did at least that.
-- CHAPTER 16
What are “sliders”, “lum”, “Telandir” etc.? Basically, worldbuilding Q/A.
What does Van mean exactly when he says “There are four of you, and you will come down with me peacefully. Or there will be less… if you think you can outrun me.”
Is it “Cyro” or “Cyrien”? How old is he? How does he feel when Hitomi intercepts on him on the way to the command tent and what does his apologetic shrug at the end mean?
What is Hitomi wearing and why does no one pay much attention to her until she speaks up at the war council? Why do the soldiers call her “Private Sweetling”?
How does Van feel about the whole situation with the captives? Are Hitomi’s concerns substantial?
What really happened and what are the physical actions (and reactions) of the characters during the argument taking place in Van’s tent?
What is the meaning of Van and Folken’s conversation about Hitomi, when Folken says his brother “disappoints” him?
What is the meaning of Folken’s “what if I told you I’m done being useful”? What does Van’s reaction to that mean?
Why does Allen see younger himself in Van and what are his regrets?
What does Hitomi mean when she says “everything is shattered”?
-- PREVIOUS CHAPTERS
Why does Hitomi so easily accept that Gaea was real after all, when she had been thinking it was a dream for several years?
Why is Hitomi so formal with Millerna at the start? Why is she starting from zero with some of the relationships like Millerna and Van?
Why do people call Hitomi “seeress” in VA?
Are Hitomi’s abilities gone? Why can Van dowse and can anyone do it?
Why does Dornkirk want to separate Van and Hitomi? What is the connection between Lenz’s tasks and the ch15 forest scenes?
Why was there not a scene revealing the reactions of the characters back on Earth to Hitomi’s disappearance?
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Yashahime Manga Volume 1 - Bonus Interview with Rumiko Takahashi and Takashi Shiina
The long-awaited interview with Rumiko Takahashi, legendary creator of Inuyasha, and Takashi Shiina, who pens Yashahime!
You've mentioned before that when it was announced that the Yashahime anime would be adapted into a manga, you exclaimed, "I want to draw it!"
Shiina: One of the manga I drew before Psychic Squad was an adaptation of Ultraman Nexus. It was fairly popular, so I started getting offers to turn other anime into manga. Among them was Kidou Shinsengumi Moeyo Ken, which featured character designs by Rumiko Takahashi.
I see.
Shiina: I really wanted to do it, but I was about to start work on Psychic Squad, so I had to turn the project down. But the idea of working on something with Takahashi stuck with me. I kept thinking how much fun it would be to draw manga based on her characters, and I regretted the missed opportunity. Fortunately, I heard about the development of Yashahime just as Psychic Squad was ending. I thought to myself, "Well, if the timing is right, I'd love to do that!" So, 17 years later, my dream of drawing Takahashi's characters in a manga has come true.
Takahashi: When I first heard that [Shiina wanted the job] shortly after the anime started airing, I thought, "Are you kidding me? You must be pulling my leg!" When his name came up in conversation three more times, I realized the editors were serious. I thought it would be amazing to have Shiina work on Yashahime, so I gave them the go-ahead.
What were your thoughts after reading his first chapter of Yashahime?
Takahashi: It was so much fun! He highlights the characters so well. He uses Towa's signature glare to define her personality. Setsuna's glare is even fiercer. And the fiercest of all is their father Sesshomaru's glare. What a great technique. Also, the slightly elongated way he draws Towa and Setsuna is just right. I thought to myself, "That's exactly what Sesshomaru's daughters would look like!" The reactions of the Higurashi family are well thought-out too. Of course, Shiina is a seasoned manga artist, so it's no surprise. It was really fun to read.
^ Towa's otherworldly glare
Shiina: I'm kind of like Takahashi's apprentice… though I've never studied under her. (laughs)
I'm sure there was discussion about the art.
Can you talk about how you view each other's approach to manga?
Shiina: Takahashi's art is impossible to reproduce.
You can come close, but it's still a copy and a fake. I was worried that readers would get distracted by the disconnect between our drawing styles and have trouble getting into the story. So I approached it as what would happen if a Takahashi character came into my world. For example, her version of Towa is cuter and feels younger. With my approach, Towa expresses emotion the most when her eyes are downcast. I added extra volume to her bangs so I could use them to hide her eyes. On the other hand, I want the characters to remain recognizable. I'm always trying to strike a balance.
Takahashi: I think it's better that Shiina is drawing it in his style. It enables me to come to it as a reader. The designs are similar but definitely not clones. The glimpses of Inuyasha and Kagome in the past are drawn very well. I really like the Kagome in the picture frame. She has a soft, grounded look.
^ This image of Kagome is one of Takahashi's favorites.
Shiina: (laughs)
Takahashi: I enjoy following the manga as just a reader.
When this project was announced, Takahashi was quoted as saying, "I'm looking forward to the chilling beauty of Sesshomaru." Did you set any rules for Shiina when it came to drawing Inuyasha's brother?
Takahashi: I think the only note I sent him was, "Sesshomaru never gets nervous flop sweat." He's an aloof, solitary character. I knew Shiina would be able to capture that, but manga artists have a tendency to draw panic and flop sweat to create drama.
Shiina: Yes, yes. We do.
Takahashi: But that was about it. I knew Shiina's drawings would be great. I made the "chilling beauty" comment knowing he'd understand what I meant.
Shiina: (laughs)
What did you think after seeing
the finished art?
Takahashi: It was just as I expected Shiina's work to be. It was good.
Shiina: Thank you very much.
Shiina, how did you handle drawing Sesshomaru?
Shiina: I thought about how to direct the characters more than how to draw them. Sesshomaru doesn't open up much, but he has to share enough of himself for us to understand his perspective. He's facing his own challenges. His personal convictions and aesthetic are always in conflict with his reality. But would he talk about that with anyone? No. So the challenge is to find ways for him to express himself through his actions.
Compared to the characters you created in your original manga, like Ghost Sweeper Mikami and Psychic Squad, is it harder to figure out how they would behave and what they would say?
Shiina: Absolutely. I try to draw the three girls as if they're my own daughters and add a little bit of myself to them. Inuyasha and Kagome have open, lighthearted personalities, so it's easier to figure out what they'd say or do in a situation. With Sesshomaru, I can guess what he's feeling, but it's difficult to imagine how he would reveal that. He's a tough character to understand.
^ Sesshomaru's chilling beauty, as drawn by Shiina
What do you have to consider when adapting an anime into manga?
Shiina: I think it's fine for the adaptation to be different from the original. In fact, there are things that have to change. My intention is to keep the themes of the story in alignment with both the original work and my own perspective. I'm not trying to create a copy of Takahashi's work, but to build something new on the foundations she's created. I'm finding where her artistic sensibilities and mine intersect…or something like that. I look for points in the story where the manga and anime can connect so they don't diverge too much.
What do you mean by "artistic sensibilities"?
Shiina: For example, before Takahashi became a professional manga artist, she absorbed the works of creators like Kazumasa Hirai, Daijiro Moroboshi, and Yasutaka Tsutsui. I also love their work, so I think about how that commonality between us connects to Yashahime. When I'm reading her work, I try to imagine her intentions.
What do you focus on when you draw the monsters and demons?
Shiina: I'm a geeky guy, so I love to draw cool-looking
monsters. But reading Inuyasha and Takahashi's other manga, I realize it's not all about the battles. She puts focus and weight on the emotional impression of the monster and the reactions of the character fighting it. Instead of anime-style cool, her monsters have a raw feeling, like they've emerged from the shadows of folklore.
Takahashi: Except my drawings aren't as scary.
Shiina: They are!
Takahashi: I just hope they're scary enough. I'm careful not to make them look silly, I guess. I do use the human characters' reactions to sell the idea of how terrifying they are. I also use darkness and visceral effects to further build the scene. But I don't really think deeply about it as I'm drawing. It's just fun to draw monsters!
^ Takahashi's monsters and people reacting to them. These reactions are crucial to the tone.
Shiina: The other day, when I was drawing the un-mothers, I also
drew little kanashibari, demons said to cause sleep paralysis, which have appeared in Inuyasha. They're super fun to draw. I love the stippling on their bodies, their big eyes and squiggly eyebrows, the way it's impossible to tell what they're thinking. They wear odd cloaks over their shoulders. I kept thinking, "Why do these guys dress like that?" and, "I wonder what they're thinking right now." It was exciting.
Takahashi: I agree. I like the smaller, animal-like demons that look like they could be scuttling around in hell. They're creepy to look at. And I like their cute pot bellies.
Shina: Yes, exactly. Maybe it didn't make sense to put them with the un-mothers. But they added visual appeal and an otherworldly atmosphere, so I felt they needed to be there. In my imagination, Sesshomaru originally summoned them to defeat Inuyasha, but afterwards they continued to work for him, and they still take on special assignments. (laughs) And that's why I drew them into the scene.
Takahashi: That's so fun.
^ Some of Shiina's favorite demons
When it comes to character design, what's your approach?
Shiina: If I try to plan a character design in my head, I get confused. Like, I'll want a character to look flashy, but then start asking myself, "Why flashy? And will that relate to their personality or be confusing?" I approach character design from the inside out, developing an appearance that suits their personality. That's the only way I know how to do it so the characters are the right ones to tell the story I want to write.
Takahashi: First I think up the plot and setting. Then I think about what characters would fit into that world. That's when I start drawing, but I redraw them over and over before I'm satisfied.
Shiina: (laughs)
Takahashi: The smallest adjustments in a design, like how their hair curls, or their eyes, or their glasses, make a character look completely different. I feel like I just have to keep drawing until the character design settles into the story.
Takahashi, you designed the three main girls in Yashahime. How did you go about that?
Takahashi: Sumisawa, the writer of the anime, told me that
Towa was the "white Sesshomaru" and Setsuna was the "black Sesshomaru." Moroha is the daughter of Inuyasha and Kagome, so I didn't put much thought into her at all. I just drew her so that she unquestionably looked like their daughter.
#inuyasha#犬夜叉#inu yasha#yashahime#anime#manga#rumiko takahashi#hanyou no yashahime#takashi shiina#interview#takashi talks
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OKAY I managed to get a screenshot of my Tav, Loreleia (ended up doing a Durge run myself with this character lol). Loreleia is a 247 yr old High Elf who is both an Archfey Warlock and Bard. Considering her background of growing up in nobility and her Charisma, I like to think she's not only charming, saying honey tongued words to sweet talk her way into things, but can be really deceptive and manipulative. She does love to dance a lot and does tend to use her magic from her patron to basically grab attention from her crowd whenever she plays her music or dances to basically be a distraction for her companions. Sorry if this is a lot >///< I just really love your writing sm
//I can finally cook, lemme get the goodies
|| MDNI || 18+
Want more Durge content check the Masterlist
How you both met:
I rolled a d10 for this and the both of you met at the Grove actually. Fighting off the Goblins and worgs that attacked. Durge appreciated the help and the courage you brought into the fight.
How do you both get along?:
Oh absolutely, Loreleia has a good charisma so it makes sense you gain the Dragonborn’s trust how Durge feels drawn to you while getting to k know the party members. You actually both talk through out the night a lot. Even when he is trying to remember his memories it’s all a blur to him. You even tried your best to help him but it’s all dead ends.
Who confessed first?:
Loreleia did, Durge was honestly surprised you thought of him as lover material. Honestly some of your party members notice Durge was pinning for you but the DragonBorn was too nervous to say anything especially when you flustered the helm out of him. You told him at the party when you finally defeated the Goblins. He was pretty happy to hear you like him that way. Now did you both have sex that night.
Yep after the party absolutely. You actually invited him and you both snuck out into the woods. He actually let you top while he was the power bottom. He was still in charge but he loved seeing you bouncing off his lap while you took in his large DragonBorn cock. But after awhile he just pinned you onto the ground with your knees folded over his shoulders and finished inside you biting your shoulder leaving a mark. Ouch~
Adorable headcannons?:
Durge loves to hear you sing, it soothes him and calms him down. I like to imagine he rests his head onto your lap and you stroke each horn on his head singing a soft song and he definitely falls asleep loving the sweet melody in his ears. You also taught him to dance with you. The way Durge was nervous at first but you were a good teacher. Maybe when they reach Baldurs gate you both should go to parties and dance.
He does give you pet names like “little sparrow.” Is one of them. Itov will always be a pet name (it means love in DragonBorn) and another would be “sia gra'kul” (it means my heart).
How does Seleritas feel about you:
The master choose a high elf as his mate? The thought, why couldn’t it be something vile that would worship Bhaal? The Butler accidentally thought you were Drow but Durge told him you were high elf. Ew really master? Cringe. But the butler kept his mouth shut, he don’t reveal himself to you until the time was right. Though he can see through your pretty face and charm. Nothing but a manipulative deceptive young woman… could try to convince the master to shape her to be a fine concubine maybe?
Good or bad ending?:
I assume you want Both so here are my thoughts
Good: Durge didn’t accept the gift of Bhaal and was no longer cursed. Being a noble family you had to introduce your new lover to your parents. It’s hard to tell if they were okay with the match making or not. Who to expect they’re daughter made love to a DragonBorn oh gods… but was their any marriage on the table? That’s up to you, after all you both are going to be together… also your parents expect grand kids cause you are a noble… Durge does have that breeding kink 👀 how many you want?
Bad: Durge finally getting the respect he deserves, killing Orin, takin the Slayers form. And claiming you as his consort. With a little convincing you definitely took his side. How he controls the Elder brain. “In Bhaal’s name.” He definitely has a short leash on you. Your on his lap on the throne, a hand definitely on your thigh close to your core not being subtle about it either. You’re his wife, his consort of enslaving Baldurs Gate. No one is to have you… anyone tries to even compliment you, he makes you watch grabbing the person’s head, breaking their jaw and taking a knife cutting their tongue off as the victim drowns in their own blood. Watching them suffer. They should know better
Hope this was good!!! I am so happy someone did this!!! Please if anyone want to know send your Tav’s please!!!
#bg3#bg3 bhaalspawn#bhaal#durge x reader#durge#baldurs gate 3#the dark urge#durge dragonborn#dark urge x reader#the dark urge dragonborn#the dark urge x reader#BG3 Seleritas
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mmo rp is kind of fundamentally not so different from RPing in any messaging program, something we've been doing since the days of IRC. the story you co-create is primarily driven by what's written in the text box. no matter how well made the emote animations are, they are not communicative enough to really tell a complex story, so you always fall back to prose. your character's voice will be limited to a handful of nonverbal expressions - a laugh, mm-hm, uh-huh. you are constantly having to reinterpret bits of game jank as you construct your mental version of the 'real story'. and yet
these visual aids do make a really substantial difference in how you experience it i think. to honestly a kind of surprising degree. of course having a character design on screen helps avoid writing tons of descriptive prose - but there's also a lot that can be done with simple movement through space, like a character positioning themselves besides another, retreating to sulk, getting up to dance.
like in visual novels and manga, you have essentially a set of codified, symbolic expressions - but in FFXIV, every race has its own set of very charming and polished animations for nearly every emote, which adds a huge amount of info in how you interpret that character (and slot them into the otaku database). a roegadyn will by default be loud and brash, a viera refined and dreamy, a lala mischievous and childlike. a mi'qote is a cat. since all of these are chosen by the player, they act as a strong signal of what your character's deal is - their body language comes across even if it's not like the actual scene fully acted out.
and what's fascinating to me is that even when i know what the player looks like irl, i still find myself responding to their game embodiment in how i think about them, i don't picture them irl... but also, having the embodiment helps me get into character. I have two alts, and with each one i feel drawn to a different style of roleplay. just like a list of prompts in a ttrpg sourcebook, the embodiment you've chosen gives you something to bounce off when you're improvising.
roleplaying is very similar to improv comedy, and many of the same analysis concepts - 'offers', 'yes, and' - apply. we're essentially improvising a digital puppet show. building up an RP venue and customising our model is a way of laying out props to help that process roll smoothly.
i often dream about an mmo animation system that would be less janky - more control over camera placement, better handling of interactions between player characters and characters with their environment, more ability to plan out timing and blocking and so on - essentially trending towards multiplayer source filmmaker.
the problem is that such a system would probably have way too much cognitive overhead to be usable in real time improv. i think what something like ffxiv shows is that even very simple elements - besides the emotes, your character looks towards your target and moves their lips when you talk, you can adjust their expression and there's animation hooks all over the place line chairs you can sit on - can actually be a very expressive palette and people are pretty good at filtering out the jank when they want to create a story together.
indeed, it becomes a skill - knowing what animations you have, how to reinterpret them, how to line yourself up with other players. and in the end you don't remember the time spent shuffling forwards and typing /hug again and again, or standing up and sitting down repeatedly until it lines up right. you remember the cute sight of your character sitting beside your friend, looking fondly at each other.
there's also another angle which is like... i find real life 'going out' very difficult - usually hitting a point of information overload very quickly in a pub environment, and while music is easier to manage than a wall of conversation, i never really learned how to interact with strangers at a club, concert, convention. I'm not good with alcohol. when i try to a pub, i usually end up retreating into myself and ducking out. in mmos, though... i find prose much more easy to be expressive in, and the limits of the animation system kind of level the playing field a bit in terms of The Autism when it comes to body language and the like.
still, sometimes it feels like a very sad existence - i rely on this simulacrum, pretending i am being intimate and social with people i can't touch through a computer program that draws triangles. everything in an mmo is muted, blunted by the medium - which makes it 'safe', but also tinges it with a loneliness that can't really be broken. but for now, i guess the simulacrum is all I've got, you know? and i can appreciate how it's put together, all the effort that has gone in from devs and players alike to realise this alternative channel for connection.
but yeah. i guess it comes back to this again... there's a reason my online 'face' is a low poly approximation of an animal!
#roleplaying games#that said i should totally check out vrchat again now i have the gear lol#computer games#mmorpgs#ffxiv#introspective nightposting
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Hello! I just wanted to say that I really appreciate this game and how it portrays butchness. I'm a huge fan of lesbian lit and there are so few butches in media that to see a game have not one, but three, makes me feel a certain kind of way.
Aside from that, I was really drawn to how you portrayed the differing relationships between all the characters. Everything feels so visceral and real, it just feels so crunchy that I find myself wanting for more. I really look forward to seeing how it will turn out for everyone involved.
Additionally, (if this is too spoilery, has been answered, or insensitive pls feel free to ignore) is it ok if I ask how you decide the dialogue and event flow of the choices? I was mildly and pleasantly surprised that flirting with Clear and staying with her in ch 3 would lead to "that" scene, and I'm curious on your writing process on how it lead to that.
Ultimately, I just really want to thank you for sharing your game with us. Im just really glad to be able to experience this game and I hope that you stay safe!
thank you!
overall when it comes to structuring dialogue & choices i tend to write a linear path first & then double back to add more branches.
i had a basic outline of the chapter & knew what i wanted to touch on with each route & what scenes needed to happen, and then i just kinda started writing from there. Clear's was actually the one i wrote first, her sex scene was what i wrote first, and then i went back and built a lot of the route around it.
i wrote Clear's and Hana's routes simultaneously since they were so intertwined, but i ended up rewriting Hana's three times, whereas with Clear i just had to edit it a bit. i knew i wanted them to have that conversation at the table about Clear not having any friends, and then i wrote the scene where mc finds the vampire erotica book. it took some trial and error until i was happy with the dialogue & choices at the table, as well as how i wanted to split the following variations. i tend to do the romantic variations first, and then work my way down, and sometimes i have to go backwards and edit as i write because i'll add something on a whim to one variation and decide that actually i want this to be in all of them.
i am definitely someone that's a bit of a "planster" meaning i do minimal planning and write a lot by the seat of my pants. sometimes it works, other times it puts me in a bit of a bind. like i said i tend to set out with specific information/dialogue/scene/etc in mind that i know has to happen, and build up around it.
with Hana the main focus in her route was that conversation with mc; i wanted mc to get overwhelmed at the store, and for her and Hana to talk about it afterwards, and for Hana to be frustrated at her situation as this person who suddenly has to comfort and take care of mc after being replaced by her. again, minimal planning, i wrote almost her whole route before i started working on Valentina's & i mentioned Standard and his proclivities towards Chinese antiques. this made me realize i needed to rewrite a lot of Hana's dialogue to be more inclusive of her race. i went back to Clear's route, and ended up writing a lot of the conversation with Hana there after she gets back from the store, and then i adapted it to the other routes.
Valentina's route was all about the painting. again, i wrote that initial scene of walking into her room, the description of the painting, and then her first sex scene, and built up from there. there was also the brief meeting with Joan, which was mostly just for fun and to introduce those characters early for anyone that went on V's route, so the next chapter those players will have a little jump on who they are. but the main point was that painting & i think it's pretty obvious with how the whole route plays out, and the fact that the painting is always seen by all players.
this is still a game, so it is gamified quite a bit, with all 3 characters having a potential sex scene in the same chapter at the same time. i planned it that way to make it easy for myself and because that's just how i wanted it to go. i put some stat checks in place to add variations, like if you went with Hana or Valentina in ch2, if you flirted with Clear or not, and again, it was a lot of jumping around and trial and error. i wrote a significant part of Valentina's route out of order, and i finished hers last before i finalized the council meeting (which i had written very early on but like Hana's route i had to rewrite a few times)
i like to describe my process as building a tree. i write the core of it all first, one linear path, the trunk, and then i double back and add in all of the possible branches. it doesn't mean anything that i wrote the friendly, romantic variation of Clear's route first, it just allowed me to use that single variation as an anchor and build up around it without straying too far and losing the plot, hahahaha. i still sometimes stray a little too far... but it's fun that way. it was fun trying to figure out a way to make the rival route different, how to change it while still telegraphing the same overall ideas about Clear & her situation. it's also very frustrating, but it's all part of the process....
#i have no idea if this answers your question. LOL#one thing with writing interactive fiction and something with big variations#is just it really does take a lot of trial and error#again writing a lot of Hana's route but then stepping back and realizing it doesn't quite compare#when held up against the others & having to scrap a lot of it#it happens a lot even with minor things like basic choices#right before i finished V's route i had a huge pity moment where i was like wow this all fucking sucks. but then when i finished it#along with the council meeting and saw it all come together it was really satisfying#it's hard but it's rewarding when it all comes together in the end#not that i think the chapter is perfect by any means or anything lmfao but you know. In General#ask#anonymous
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On Epic Fantasy, Gender, Changes in Belief and Samantha Shannon’s The Priory of the Orange Tree
Ordinarily I don't write about books here, but I had something I wanted to get out about what I've been reading lately, so here goes...
I’ve always maintained that high fantasy is something in which I have very little interest. While friends and family have raved about Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones over the years, I’ve felt a great disconnect from those stories and worlds, and I always assumed that it was the genre itself at the root of the problem. Meanwhile, I was raving separately about the immense creative achievement of The Matrix (all of them, not just the original film), which is (if I’m being honest with myself) high fantasy wearing the skin of science fiction. Chosen one narratives, prophecy, fantastical creatures, magic systems, and a great battle to determine the fate of humanity are the makeup of The Matrix, just as they would be any other work of high fantasy.
I learned the hard way during my undergraduate degree and subsequent three years as a post-graduate student that reading for pleasure can very easily fall by the wayside when you have to read so much for work – the act of reading itself becomes a massive chore. So, when I left academia and started getting back into reading for pleasure in a habitual way, part of the journey for me was discovering my taste in literature as an adult, which meant giving fantasy another try.
The discoveries I’ve made since getting back on the horse have been a mixed bag – some expected and some very much unexpected. Among those realisations was the fact that fantasy as a genre is not as immediately repulsive to me as I thought; what is repulsive to me, on vibes alone, is fantasy written by men. It turns out that my lifelong struggle with masculinity (I’ve only recently begun coming out to myself and others as non-binary - I use he/they pronouns) applies to literature, too. Surprise, surprise, The Matrix’s exploration of gender identity and transness was more relatable to me than the aggressive hyper-masculinity of Game of Thrones and to a lesser extent Lord of the Rings (yes I know the consensus is that LotR is very gay, but it’s also very male). So, while in search of something to read on my local library’s eBook lending service, I decided to give Samantha Shannon’s epic fantasy novel, The Priory of the Orange Tree, a shot, and I’m so very glad that I did.
TPotOT has been misleadingly described by some as ‘feminist Game of Thrones’. And, while I can see where those people are coming from, this work feels like its own entirely distinct thing. Rather than plunging into the darkest, grimmest depths of humanity’s worst moral failings, as George R.R. Martin does almost fetishistically, Shannon uses her beautifully engrossing fantasy world to explore the necessity of trust and cooperation with those whom one’s belief system might deem unacceptable, in order to confront something that threatens everybody. This is less an allegory for climate change, and more an allegory about dogma.
The world of this Roots of Chaos series is built upon a series of conflicting, yet paradoxically overlapping, paper-thin religious belief systems. These systems hold the societies of Shannon’s four, wonderfully drawn POV characters together, and what makes the narrative of this gargantuan book so captivating, is the necessity of these characters coming to terms with the elements of their belief systems that have been falsely constructed in order to serve an agenda. This isn’t a didactic story about one morality system being superior to another, but rather one of learning to find common ground with those who believe differently to you, accepting truths when you are confronted with them, and having enough faith in humanity to trust that society won’t collapse as a result.
The Priory of the Orange Tree isn’t the only book in this series (Shannon has since published a prequel entitled A Day of Fallen Night), but it does function as a standalone story with a definitive ending. That being said, Shannon smartly chooses to end her story at the conclusion of its central conflict – the battle with a terrifying, all-powerful dragon called The Nameless One – rather than spending extra time exploring the aftermath. We don’t know whether the colossal revelations poised to shatter this world’s religions will lead to societal collapse, or whether the characters’ faith in humanity is justified. Anyone who knows me is aware of how I feel about certainty in narrative storytelling. Asking questions is much more interesting than answering them.
Ultimately, The Priory of the Orange Tree is a story that leads (and ends) with its characters. The book is deeply concerned with the repercussions of its plot on its intricately detailed world, but it is more focused on the way these characters grow and change when confronted with undeniable truths. Eadaz uq-Nāra is up there with my very favourite protagonists, and her journey and relationships are rapturously entertaining and moving. Shannon clearly adores her characters, which makes it so very easy for us as readers to fall in love with them, too.
I’m so glad to have found this book. TPotOT, along with Becky Chambers’ miraculous space opera, The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, have been genuine reassurances to me as I come to terms with who I am as an adult, both in my tastes as a reader, and more fundamentally in myself and my identity. In short: genre fiction written by queer women is good for you.
#blusforjews#books#booklr#epic fantasy#high fantasy#samantha shannon#the priory of the orange tree#tpotot#becky chambers#the long way to a small angry planet#wayfarer#the roots of chaos#nonbinary#getting back into reading
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I was reading your long post on the elementals and got whiplash in the end with your Allahuakbar in the tags 😭
And then i saw your profile having a hijab and went "oh yea shes muslim. Neat :D"
Anyway aside from that
Love the ted talk that was a very nice read :]
It amazes me how much you try to find information despite beimg on hiatus for 8 years. There was.. ALOT of phases but the fandom has stayed relatively the same, the only phase i really miss is the threads and occasional "boi life update"
Pretty sure bbb is in fact ambidextrous! We never see him write with his left hand but he uses weapons with it (sword, bows, etc) and you need a lot of coordination to do that
Surprised how you didn't talk about the biggest worry of if boi has complete amnesia, there were a lot of speculation back then of what would happen if a situation where boi was alone and was split for a long time, we speculated that the elements would create its own concious with a mix of boi's beliefs and personality. But at that point would they even WANT to combine back?
At the time we were all just "oh haha just what-ifs tho, no need to worry" and then a teaser art work of bbb movie 3 was shown where boi was ALONE.
Boi is never alone, he always had his friends, even in movie 2 he had Gopal, this time hes alone. Not even ochobot is with him.
So there was a moment everyone went WILD it was beautiful, now obviously most people speculated that he was trying to find his dad or was searching something for Tok Aba
But there were a couple people who were like "hey guys what happens if boi split haha, who gonna get him back together haha, whos gonna remind him haha... oh god what if the elements seperate.." annnnnnddd that kinda got me thinking..
If boi got split for too long to the point of the elements becoming they're own 'person' obviously Boi's friends (and tapops) will eventually get them to combine back again
But which memories would boi get? All of them? If he split into 3 he'll have 3 memories but what if he split into 5? Which memories would dominate?
Can boi tell which are really his and which are the elements?
What if specific elements made new friends? Would boi feel guilty? Would boi care about these characters like how his elements cared for them? The elements are him after all
But where does the line end between him and the elements? Where is evern the line drawn that separates him with them?
How can he differentiate which action of his was himself and not pushed by a certain element personality?
How can boi live with himself with the fact he might be keeping 7 people from living?
Hehe I'm delighted . Assalamualaikum, Anon ^^
It amazes me how much you try to find information despite beimg on hiatus for 8 years. There was.. ALOT of phases but the fandom has stayed relatively the same, the only phase i really miss is the threads and occasional "boi life update"
Tbh, It's a wild short ride if I remembered it again. I didn't know there's the comic ver of Galaxy season 1 and movie 2; the battle card sets; action figures; magazines; heck, when the movie 2 come out in theater, I did not managed to watch it.
A funny story how I went back to this series. When I was on staycation at the hotel this year, that night, my sister stumbled upon one of my local tv(uuuuh I forgot whether it's mnc tv or rtv) that showing one of Galaxy season 1 episode. She asked me how Boboiboy's get bigger and why am I did not watch this series anymore. My reason is same as what I've mentioned about Duri and Solar here and that's the end of it.
But later when I'm back home, I somehow... Felt an urge to re-watch its series? I have to tell you first, I followed Boboiboy's account on Twitter like two years ago, I read some issues when Monsta released season 2 comic on webtoon but I stopped shortly after.
So when people hyped about the upcoming Sori, I myself didn't feel like to watch it since I constantly reminded myself to finish the galaxy season 1 first.
Therefore I hurriedly marathon-ed all series. A bit of back and forth between Galaxy series and original series to refresh my mind before went to movie 2 and Sori. And even then I stopped my read at issue 6 to watch Sori in blind. Counting all that I finished this series within.... Three... Weeks or more I guess?
For now I only own the Google play book ones, baby steps to buy all the physical comic books and the card packs too I guess. (Aaaaaaaaa I want the galaxy season 1 and movie 2 comic books SO BAD >:[ )
Surprised how you didn't talk about the biggest worry of if boi has complete amnesia, there were a lot of speculation back then of what would happen if a situation where boi was alone and was split for a long time, we speculated that the elements would create its own concious with a mix of boi's beliefs and personality. But at that point would they even WANT to combine back?
I MISSED THAT IMPORTANT PART WADEFA—
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya me too, anon, ME TOO!
Windara and Gur'latan arc made me absolutely concerned with boi's mental health.
When talking about amnesia awareness. We had this line from both comic and Sori.
Yet the final episode of Sori piqued my interest.
Monsta surprisingly didn't dwell this deeper in comic book ver. They didn't show how much the effect could impact the elemental's well being.
edit: I really want to highlight how much Hali's big will to fight his amnesia illnesses. When others starts to forget their surroundings, Hali on the other hand decided to increase his pace. Desperately find a way to meet his other twins. Notice how Hali forgetting Gopal's name but not Yaya at first... Until Hali also forgotten her name.
Yet Yaya somehow understood Hali's frustration by accepting her temporary name. All that scene made my eyes wide when I compared it to comic ver.
(btw how about I call him "Oboi" like many people call him since it's cuter and easier to type? We good? moving on.)
The comic ver only portrayed a fainted Oboi, whereas Sori purposely added an extra few frames of him "suffering" and said more than just felt dizzy.
(my pc record program got error again, and my phone didn't support internal audio. Apologies for the mute sound m(__)m)
This scene is peculiar indeed. Aside from how pretty the recombined animation is, this scene made me realize: "Oh? Oooooooh? Okay, Monsta. Let's see where this is going."
Can I say I'm very, veerry much in gratitude to Monsta that they added those extra scenes more detailed and logical? People need to remind that Boboiboy is a freaking human. A FRAGILE LIVING BEING THAT IS STILL. A MIDDLE. SCHOOLER.
he's no superman or spiderman genes shit. He and Kokotiam gang are purely normal teenagers with no special genes inside them. It's all because of the special power tool that came from a robot. That's it.
I forgot where I got this fact, please please PLEASE tell me I'm wrong, but when I stumbled upon some random trivia on the internet, I was mouth agape with the line:
"All season 2 events happened in 3 months"
My brain.exe stopped working at the moment. All I could think was, "Wallahi THAT'S FUCKING TIGHT EVENTS!! WTF??!!"
Another reason why TAPOPS is useless and just let youngsters did all the dirty work. Just like how this tweet deliberately writes it. Couldn't agree more.
(I won't translate it to English since its a long thread. So please read it yourself 😅)
ehem. moving on.
At the time we were all just "oh haha just what-ifs tho, no need to worry" and then a teaser art work of bbb movie 3 was shown where boi was ALONE.
(where did you get that, anon? O.O)
So there was a moment everyone went WILD it was beautiful, now obviously most people speculated that he was trying to find his dad or was searching something for Tok Aba
Anon, I was frantically screaming when I saw this in the opening vid of motion comic series.
Like,
WHY WOULD YOU TEASE THIS IMAGE WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN FIND ONE IN YOUR COMIC, MONSTA????
Ehem.
Also, I thought when boi said this
It means all Kokotiam gang's are staying on earth, right? as usual? back to what they did in eps 1 or issue 1 in both season 2 events?
But after you mentioned it I ... somehow reminded myself of Tok Aba's worrying physical illness.
If...
If what you say about the movie 3 teaser is true, anon...
Then does Boboiboy is alone after he...?
... some people say that Tok Aba was hiding his painful disease all from Boboiboy like how he spotted in ... gosh I forgot which issue is it and the last one. Also, I guess Kokotiam gang didn't too. No idea about Ochobot though, I went 50/50 with that...
...please tell me this isn't true...
...please...
fuck where are you and your wife, Amato? >:/
HOOOLD—ONE AT THE TIME ANON
I'm at my Tumblr image post limit, so I'll continue this topic in reblog.
Update: I made it into separate post here
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SERIOUS TALK. I'm heavily considering moving this account to a new one. This one is getting really cluttered between the awful tumblr changes not remembering my tags, not being able to find headcanons, old asks & threads accumulating, in general is a mess. Not only that but things as general graphics and aesthetics feel very outdated.
Being pretty honest, Tomoya was supposed to be a "TEMPORARY BLOG" while I took a break from my previous main muse. That's why I didn't even bother to make pretty fancy tags, pages or really elaborated graphics. I didn't expect to get attached to them, surprised myself with the bonds they have created too ! Plus, I think I have grasped by now the direction of this muse, builded up a story I still have to talk about and AUs set that I sure do love exploring.
So as soon as this semester is over, I'll start preparing a new blog to move this one and have a fresh start.
Here comes a to do list for myself on what I should prepare before moving this account though. Will be done in the shadows as I continue using this one for the time being.
Look for a new URL ! If possible one that matches the spring aesthetic I want to give off. If not, one about fate / destiny or lighting / thunderstorms will do.
Make a new rules page and be more precise in the unfollowing / following section as well as some things I want to prevent while plotting and shipping with others.
Use a new formatting that uses purples and reds ! C'mon Berry, use to your advantage the new formatting options.
Make that mains / bonds page. But make it extra special by adding drawn chibis of Tomo's bonds: Chihiro, Tem, Satoru, Kaeya ( aka. I gotta start doodling them ).
GRAPHICS with a new aesthetic ! Mobile header, dash icon, not doing a theme this time tho, a header for asks and threads even. But especially a new icon border cause I hate the current one so much.
Draw. yourself. new. Tomo. chibis. berry.
Remake Tomo's dish.
New tags, with quotes this time.
BERRY, DROP THE TOMO LORE ALREADY. Glad it's all in your silly little brain but damn girl, get it together cause that new blog gotta have an ABOUT PAGE with Tomo's CHARACTER STORIES.
Also gotta work in an AU PAGE explaining the most important points about the following AUS ( besides those I have in that page already ) : modern, knight, star rail ( the two versions ), archon, stardew valley, spiderverse.
Yes, as you see I got A LOT to do but I'll take my time. Will be striking the things i manage to do in the shadows these weeks. Meanwhile this blog is still running like always ( aka. spotty activity but somehow here ❤ ).
NOTE: plot important asks as well as threads will be continued and answered in the new blog in case I don't answer those by the time the new account is ready.
#i'll be so damn bitter if i do all of that and somehow natland is so bad that i end up leaving ASJKDH heLP. but one gotta stay positive#︾╼╼ █ █ ║˚ ▹ BERRY SPEAKS.▕🗲#PSA.#for me kinda#i'm tired but i might send some silly lil asks to some of toto's bonds in the meantime hehe#shows u my dead npc: WOULD. A COWARD HAVE THIS?#anways- on another note: i FCKING LOVE FURINA.
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(Part 4/4)
(Earlier: Parts 1, 2, and 3)
Okay, finally getting to the 4th and last post talking about Tom Sturridge in his projects. There's not too much left to say as these are mostly cameos.
Vanity Fair (2004)- This was the first movie Tom was in as a grownup (edit: nope, this was the 2nd)- in period clothing (and looking like a million bucks, as you would suspect). Screentime: 2min. You can tell he's still finding his footing in all this. But he's got the it factor already.
Journey's End (2017)- Movie about Brit soldiers stuck in trenches waiting for death during WW2. Sam Claffin and Paul Bettany are in this and I recognized neither before seeing credits 🤦♀️ Anyway, Tom plays a bad soldier: drinks and girls are his forte, fighting- not so much. His character is in this movie to basically show the bone-chilling, hope-crushing, cruelly pointless side of wars. He uses his 3/4 scenes to drive that point home like a master. There's one super emotionally charged scene with Sam that sears into the mind- they both absolutely chew it up.
Song to Song (2017)- Tom being in this movie is just the most RANDOM thing in the world, guys. Song to Song is about the music industry and rockstar life, and Tom shows up for like 2mins to play Ryan Gosling's hometown farmland brother of all things??? Wut. 2 lines of dialogue. Cute hair, tho. Cute everything.
Hello Apartment (2018)- Slice-of-life short film about how we all leave our mark in the spaces we move through. Dakota Fanning made this and asked Tom to be in it- they've been friends since doing Effie Gray. Tom is MC's stormy bf- a bit of kissing, a bit of pouting, a bit of shouting. Worth it. (Aside: some STUNNING shots in this, kudos to Dakota). This is on youtube.
That's it, actually. Only movie of Tom's I haven't gotten to is Junkhearts (2011). It's on Amazon Prime for $4 which is worth it, but it seems like an intense movie and I'll take a break before trying to watch this one.
A significant part of Tom's career has been theater work. From what I've gathered, seems like he's done some phenomenal work there- both in UK and US. Got cool awards and noms. Of course, if your play isn't Hamilton, it doesn't get to be on any screen, so there's no way to see any of those now. The one I'm most gutted about is 1984 (2017) on Broadway. I love the og classic by George Orwell, and by all accounts this adaptation/interpretation was banging (AND controversial!). Tom playing a role like Winston Smith... I'd have loved it so fuckin much * screaming-into-pillow break*
How does Tom choose his projects?
"The first thing I’m drawn to is a piece of writing, to an author, to a director. Weirdly, it’s rarely a character. I want to work with people or with texts that push me and make me learn things that I think I can’t do. Because if I think I can do it, then I can’t surprise myself. And if I can’t surprise myself, then I’m definitely not going to surprise an audience." -Tom for Interview magazine, 2022
Why does he often do troubles characters?
"... I think what I’m attracted to is being able to explore a spectrum of emotion. It’s easier to find comedy in something sad than it is to find darkness in something funny. I can be all kinds of people when the darkness is there. Also, the first character I ever played onstage was a boy who murders all of his schoolmates [in Punk Rock]. I do think there’s something to be said by, “You get stuck in a gorge that you start with.” People have always gone, “Oh, yeah. He’s the fucked-up guy.” - same
Here's something about me: I love falling in love with men on silver screen. It's the only space where it's okay to be in love with a version of someone you made in your head because you're not going to know any other version. The only space you get to channel your feelings six ways to Sunday: write posts, write stories, draw, make any art- people will actually celebrate those (whereas try talking to your friend about a new irl crush for five days straight, on the sixth they'll smack you upside your head). The feelings are intense because these men are deliberately performing for you, the emotions forever unsullied because they're not gonna come hurt you (unless they're being cancelled lol). And they're all the finest specimens! So, yeah, I love it, and it happens periodically. What's rarer, tho, is that I get attracted to an actor's whole personality. I mean, like, all of these hot men are hella charming, and you can yassify almost anyone based on interview moments. But, idk, it doesn't always click with me, and I love a character, ship a couple, then move on. Tom, tho, is going to be one of those 2/3 permanent ones. I just find him interesting which to me, is the thing. (And also, he turned out to be one of those rare people in life who lets you know things about yourself that you didn't know before. Huh. Who knew?) And yeah, okay, he's very hot and insanely talented which started this whole intense phase but while this won't last, a genuine fondness and love will. He has a place in my heart forever. It's been such a good time discovering him that I'm legit grateful to the universe.
I'll do a bonus post with links to Tom interviews/vids/ stuff that are worth checking out. Until then, guys.
#tom sturridge#dream of the endless#morpheus#sandman#the sandman#vanity fair#journey's end#hello apartment#song to song#1984
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Quick TedTalk about love/affection and it's portrayal in various media forms because I be complaining all the time about it and I realized maybe people just don't know how to do that without touch, so here's a lil bit on that for anyone who cares to read. (Written by a repulsed aroace)
So first off, touch is not the only love language, though it is the most popular in media and the easiest one to use to show affection.
But it is not the only one. Especially if writing is your medium of choice, you can really get into the thoughts behind affection to show the readers what your character feels, for example your pov/centric character might be thinking how safe they feel around the person in question they love or are affectionate towards, they might be studying the details of that person's face as they're speaking together, they might know what the person is feeling without having to be told, they might know exactly what they need in that moment. There's really infinite ways to show that with writing, even having the characters actually talking about it, if not just thinking.
But this does get a bit more complicated with drawing as a medium. It's the easiest way to just go ah yes two people in love? They're gonna be kissing. Which is fine, there's a place for that I'm not saying that's never appropriate. But especially for characters who aren't in canon physically affectionate or have that kind of intimacy there are ways to show that in art without compromising that element of their characters. For instance, showing their trust and comfort with each other. Maybe one (or both) characters present as tough or cold on the outside and only relax around the person they love, so they could be shown having fallen asleep on the couch together or in a library studying (being able to fall asleep in someone else presence is a huge sign of trust, especially if your characters have trauma or PTSD or just generally trust issues or wary of other people). They could be laughing together, or having a picnic, or doing something simple yet opposite of the way they present to others. They could be doing something together like cooking or painting or pottery or any kind of hobby. Maybe a character is always seen in armour or a uniform, but they aren't wearing it around the person they love, maybe they are always fully clothed or dressed well and they're in a tank top or something casual. One of them could be looking at the other while their back is turned or they're not paying attention, or similar to the first idea, one could be watching over the other as they sleep, or smiling at them, or maybe even a bit surprised that the person is comfortable enough to be sleeping in their presence.
Little things like that to show their comfort with each other rather than having them holding hands or kissing. Which again, not saying that is never appropriate because it is and if that's all you want to do go for it its your art you should do what you want.
But for myself, and likely a lot of other people too, I don't like seeing that, especially for characters that i am drawn to because of the lack of physical intimacy, and I wanted to bring attention to some alternatives in case people just dont know how to show affection without touch, but are open to learning or exploring other methods. Which again, make your art for yourself and do what you want and makes you happy, but if you want to help give some representation to aroacespec or touch averse folks I would be absolutely thrilled
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk and I'd be happy to discuss this further if anyone wants to /gen
#art#art things#artist#digital art#fanart#digital artist#fanartist#writer#writing#wrting things#fanfiction#fanfics#love in art#affection in art#trust#affection#love#portrayls of love#portrayls of affection#art rant#artist rant#psa#art psa#artist psa
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