#I dont care if they changed things around they kept the essence | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

melodiesofblueroses · 3 years

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Hi I saw that you were open!!

If love some fluff for levi, Lucifer, satan, mammon, and belphegor if you dont mind.

As part of mc's magic training they burn incense too focus. But this time Solomon switched the regular intense with demon nip ( cat nip for demons) as an experiment.

Suddenly the bro's get hyperly aware of mc's presence more than usual and become extremely lovey.

Plz remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself!💖💖

Aw thank you so much for the request!! This was so fun and cute to write. I decided to go with hcs, and I hope that I managed to write what you had in mind! Take care of yourself as well, remember to take breaks, and I hope you have a good night/day ❤ ❤

»»————-　♡　————-««

✦ Lucifer

Lucifer immediately knew that the incenses were changed and by whom, whether deliberately or by accident and regardless of smell or not

it was as if he had eyes all over the house (although that wasn’t too far of a stretch since the portraits did talk)

the moment he was aware that the usual incenses were changed with demon nip, Lucifer wanted to so badly march down to Purgatory Hall and punish Solomon

but you were so excited for your training, and you practically begged him to stay

ok, that was a lie. Lucifer just didn’t want to admit that he’d rather you not miss a lesson, although that was also just an excuse to spend more time with you

he could always punish Solomon later, and besides, he was one of the strongest demons, he should be able to ignore the effects

oh boy was he wrong

in the following days, Lucifer began to take notice of your presence more and strike up convos way more often, which did confuse you a bit, though you brushed it off as him not wanting to be held liable if anything were to happen to the human exchange student

what really bewildered you was the fact that he was acting so sweet towards you?? like, he’d usually address you formally and with a neutral tone

but now, although it was a bit subtle, his voice went a bit soft whenever he spoke to you, and you couldn’t help but notice how he smiled much more now around you

it was a surprising change, but a welcome one

“y/n, if the work at RAD is too much for you, I can always bring it up to Diavolo and have him lessen the workload”

“would you perhaps care to join me for dinner with Diavolo tonight? you can bring up any concerns you have with the program”

he began to take notice of your wellbeing much more, and while it did freak you out a bit at first, you grew to love it. his soft side was just too adorable

when the effects wore off, Lucifer made you swear to not tell anyone what had happened

if word got out that the demon prince’s right hand demon grew soft, it’d be a pr disaster!

and he also made it his mission to sabotage Solomon’s stay whenever possible in order to get back at him

although the effects did wear off, you noticed that he did begin to take care of you and notice you more, although it was wayy more subtle and you couldn’t tell whether or not he thought it was his obligation

whatever it was, you were glad that Lucifer had managed to open up to you just a tiny bit more

»»————-　♡　————-««

✧ Mammon

honestly, he’d have no idea that the incenses were switched

not because he didn’t know the difference (that was a possibility though) but because he was just too excited to spend some time with you

so you both thought it was a successful session and didn’t think much of it

when the effects kicked in, however, you began to notice that Mammon became a lot more clingy and affectionate

it was as if he was glued to your side, never wanting to leave you with some other demon for too long

“do you have an extra pencil I can borrow?” some demon asked you in class

“of course, here you g-”

“hey, what are ya doing with MY human??”

it does get a bit annoying at times, so when you tell him to knock it off, he’ll try to keep his distance

try

he was no exception to the power of the demon nip after all, but he would try to butt in less, although he was still by your side at all times

on the plus side, this means a lot of cuddles which you didn’t mind whatsoever

he was so warm and cuddly. it was a great way to end the day, especially when the two of you would accidentally sleep in each others’ arms while cuddling

he’d also shower you with gifts

that pen you offhandedly mentioned that one time when you were bored in demon history class? bam, it’s on your bedside table when you get home

you had absolutely no idea where he got the money from but decided it was better not to ask

you’d have to tell him to stop since the gifts were becoming a bit too much, but you really did appreciate the gesture

when the effects wore off, Mammon would become all flustered and try to come up with some excuse as to why he suddenly became all affectionate

“w-well, I was only tryna look after ya! it’s my job!”

you’d miss all the cuddles though, so when you told him that, Mammon would make sure that he’d make time for a cuddling session, although he said it was because you begged him and he, being the oh so great and generous Mammon, couldn’t turn you down

you were just glad that you were able to relish in his touch once more

»»————-　♡　————-««

✰ Leviathan

he’d probably pay no mind to the switched incenses or he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference since all that was going through his mind was laalkjr0*%#$ I’m spending time with y/n

when the effects started kicking in, however, Levi would definitely know that something was up

he was starting to think about you a lot more than usual, and he was super sensitive to your presence. you could very well be in the kitchen, but Levi would still be able to pick up on your location from his room

he’d deduce that someone must’ve made him unknowingly drink a potion or perhaps changed the essences during the training, to which his mind would automatically think of Solomon

ugh, how could he betray him? he was a fellow fan of tsl after all

although he tried to restrain himself, Levi would find himself always dragging you to his room, making excuses that he wanted to show you a new anime or game when in reality, he just wanted to feel your touch

you didn’t mind spending more time with Levi, but you did have a feeling that something was certainly off about him

he was asking you to come hang out with him in his room way more often, and whenever Solomon came over, Levi would say that he was too busy spending time with you??

it was all very odd, but it did mean more time with Levi so you weren’t complaining. this was a win

although Levi tried to restrain himself from asking or doing anything embarrassing, he’d often fail and ask to cuddle or hold hands

your warmth calmed him down, and the effects of the demon nip would wear off whenever you were around

you took this as a sign of him gaining more confidence in himself, so you were quite happy and often obliged to his requests

you did love cuddling him anyway. his jacket was so comfy

“h-hey y/n. could we, ya know, cuddle?”

the last part would come out as meek and quiet, so it’d be a bit hard to hear although you picked it up nonetheless

“of course Levi! I’m always up for some cuddles”

as a result, you practically lived in Levi’s room the entire time the demon nip affected him. the other brothers did pick up on this, but since no one else was allowed in his room, there wasn’t much they could do

like Mammon, when the effects wore off, Levi would be so flustered and go all red, finding it hard to even get out a sentence or two

he couldn’t believe he managed to not only spend so much time with you but also get to cuddle

he did love it, though he’d never admit it. Levi would miss all those cuddling, gaming, and binge sessions

but to his surprise, you always showed up either way, even after all the effects wore off, so he never did bring it up to you

Levi would like to think that he grew a bit more confident after the whole ordeal

plus, he’d have to thank Solomon for being so mischievous and switching up the essences

»»————-　♡　————-««

✣ Satan

Satan had sensed that something was off about the incense during you guys’ weekly training session though he tried his best to brush it off and paid no mind to it

he would soon come to regret that decision, however

Satan is a pretty perceptive guy, so he’d pick up on his symptoms quickly and realize that someone (cough Solomon cough) must’ve switched up the usual incense with demon nip

he’d try his best to keep his distance from you, but it was really difficult when he would catch on to your every footstep and breathe if you were anywhere near him

everywhere he turned, the tiniest little thing seemed to remind him of you

Satan couldn’t take his mind off of you, so he decided that the next best thing to do would be to confront it

so he’d invite you to his study where the two of you would read books by the fireplace (it helped liven the atmosphere) and discuss them until the next morning

you couldn’t really tell that anything was off since Satan kept his composure so well

but he was dying on the inside. he thought that having you close to him would help stave off the effects, but it seemed to only worsen them

so when he decided to ask if it’d be alright if the two of you cuddled, you were a bit taken aback since it was so sudden

but you happily accepted, especially since Satan did look a bit cute with pink on his cheeks

the moment he felt your touch, Satan felt his symptoms alleviate. it really was so relieving, but especially so because he loved your touch

it was so warm and welcoming, similar to that childhood home feeling that he never got to experience

having been born from the wrath of Lucifer, Satan often felt as if he didn’t belong anywhere, but your touch changed it

its warmth told him that he belonged here, and Satan couldn’t be happier

and so he relished in your touch for as long as he could, and even when the effects wore off, Satan found himself still missing your touch, as if the demon nip still had some sort of effect on him

once he felt your touch, he couldn’t go back. it was almost like a necessity for him, similar to how Beel reacts around food

and so, after this entire ordeal, you still spent quite some time clinging on to Satan

you, on the other hand, also greatly appreciated these cuddling sessions. Satan used to seem so distant, always having his nose in a book in order to learn more about the three realms

but now, you felt as if the two of you had grown closer (you had no idea what caused this change but you didn’t complain)

whatever it was, you were grateful, and Satan was grateful for that little experiment Solomon had pulled

»»————-　♡　————-««

★ Belphegor

would realize that something was up during the training session but would probably be too sleepy/tired to try and pinpoint it

as much as he loved spending time with you, Belphegor was about to pass out at any moment, and he’d rather do so in a comfy bed than on the hard floor

since Belphie is always sleeping with you beside him, when he wakes up with the symptoms of the demon nip, he thinks that it’s nothing more than him missing your warmth since you were nowhere to be found

eventually, he’ll begin to realize that no, it isn’t just him missing you but rather due to some sorta spell

he’d most likely try to sleep it off at first

but to no avail

even when he was sleeping, he’d dream about you and pick up on your presence so it was pretty hard to even escape from the thought of you

so he’d probably start being a bit more clingy, although it’d be more like he’d drag you to try and take a nap with him so you didn’t think anything was off at all

“hey, y/n, let’s go take a nap in the attic”

“Belphie we’re in class-”

you would notice, however, that he stuck by your side way more often

it was truly bizarre, but you thought nothing of it

perhaps he just felt left behind since he spent the least amount of time with you?

well, you didn’t mind seeing his adorable sleeping face everywhere, although your arm did often fall asleep at times, which wasn’t ideal when you were in the middle of taking notes

the demon nip would also have an effect on his dreams

in his dreams, Belphie would often feel your warmth, and everything felt at peace. there were no family tensions, no following Diavolo, and no troubles. it was such a shame whenever he woke up from it

and he’d immediately crave your touch once he did, since that felt similar to his dream, similar to his home

as a result, he’d spend a lot of time around you when the demon nip was in effect, always clinging on to you and dragging you to the strangest napping places

you didn’t mind it, however. for one, you got to spend way more time with him, and secondly, it was a good break from the workload of RAD

though he may become less clingy the moment the effects fade away, if you ever showed the desire to have him by your side again, Belphie wouldn’t hesitate to comply

he lived for your touch after all

#asks #obey me #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #headcanons #fluff #obey me shall we date

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cryptidcaptain · 4 years

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things I want americans on tumblr to understand about the uk:

- no, not every single brit benefitted from colonialism. in fact, it was pretty much entirely the upper class, feeding slightly into the middle. it was the same now as it is today, the upper class and those in charge (which are in effect, pseunonymous) profited off the suffering of millions abroad and kept the spoils entirely to themselves

- this meant, in short, the working class in britain had no money, no foreign goods, and no influence to change any of it. AND through the show stoppingly brilliant power of blind nationalism, the upper class convinced the country (AGAIN, as they are doing today) that this model was absolutely perfect, and the envy of the world (please look up what victorian slums and workhouses were like. Britain profited hugely off its empire but these people saw none of it)

- tl;dr entrenched class system

- so what do you think they ate ? foreign fruits and spices ? FUCK no, no way in hell they could afford that shit

- and guess what ? still can't ! the recipes and base ingredients used have changed over the years but in essence, the "weird haha gross" foods (which, I might add, are almost entirely northern, scottish, and irish) are things people eat because they have no money to produce anything nicer.

- oh and what happened with scotland and ireland again ? oh right yeah, they were taken over by the english and treated like absolute trash (Irish troubles anyone?). their languages almost went extinct because they were banned from speaking them.

- guess what else is working class ? all those lovely accents you enjoy making fun of ! haha dont you just love when you talk the way everyone around you does and then get told in school that your accent will make interviewing for jobs and unis harder :)) (yes, that does happen)

- stop being classist

- boris johnson n the tories are right there, please, we'd love you to take the piss out of them as much as trump and the republicans, they're posh twats and are actively seeking to destroy our lives (particularly the working class) for personal monetary gain

- this isnt a fucking joke. i dont care if you're joking, I'm not. literally if you make a joke in poor taste and someone says "agh, maybe dont do that its reminiscent of the classism I experience" then maybe you. should reevaluate how much making the joke is really important to you ?

- clown on this post and I will block you, im not debating this im just ranting.

#connor.txt #britpol #ok to rb djjdjsjsj as disorganised as this is #this is just me streamlining thoughts direct from brain to keyboard sk #so*#probably not the most coherent #if you do have a genuine question I'll answer it #to the best of my ability #and maybe find you some sources ??#god am i gonna get cyberbullied for this

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myuntoldstory · 3 years

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saeran after end after thought

it took me a ducking month and some change because i had to farm hourglasses. when i started playing i kept getting the bad ends and i got so frustrated i didn’t touch the app for two weeks. i had to consult a guide to finally reach the end.

i wanted to play this because i needed to see where jihyun ended up and... well... we all know what happened there. anyway...

i have many thoughts and feelings about this ae. i don’t know if i can ever properly organise them, but i’ll put it in bullet points for now. this is my personal feelings, not any kind of fact. i have nothing against nearly anything and anyone (character or real) involved in this game. i’ll always love and appreciate them for being in this game, for creating this game, for giving us something to love for the past four or five years.

these thoughts are rather unfiltered. this is me coming out hours after finishing the ae. i might change my mind after letting it marinate for a while and after reading up some more about it.

it’s all under the cut. it’s long and rambling. there’s no need to read this, really; the ae is a month old after all, but i just needed to get this out. also, it’s salty as hell. literally saltier than the dead sea. it will dehydrate you... best to not bother with this.

also spoilers.

1. during the first playthrough the game mechanics were wonderful, novel, and immersive. but years later and for the sake of an ae? unnecessary. it’s too long. it’s too much work. i did my due when i played the game during ray’s route. why do i also have to work for something that should have been my reward? why do i still have to worry about hearts, choices, and game branches? why do i have to go through multiple endings? it’s an after end. it’s after the ending.

of course i love new content, i love more content, but not like this. and i know i sound super entitled. if i was impatient i should have justt read the wiki, but i wanted the experience, but not this specific experience. lucky it’s the pandemic and i have more time on my hands, but in normal circumstances my life is very different from what it was in 2016. i can’t be waiting for chats and making plans around it to get to the after ending. honestly i expected something like the secret ends or even similar to the style of jihyun’s ae... but no. apparently, chertiz thinks it’s fun to make us spend three and a half days to reach an AFTER END.

2. saeran choi needs love... but, in my opinion, not ours. not mc’s. the love he needs is his brother’s. the person he needs most is saeyoung choi. he’s suffered so much, endured many things no person should ever endure. of course he deserves romantic love, but i feel like he needed to recover first. that’s why after all this im firmly in the very bare, maybe even empty camp of preferring secret end saeran choi over ray route saeran choi.

3. never in my life has a game made me exhausted about the act of forgiveness. i feel a little sick. it’s terrible to say that, i know, but i am just so emotionally exhausted. there is this heavy feeling in my chest that makes me want to cry because i feel like i somehow destroyed a part of myself?

first it’s the saviour in jihyun’s ae. it’s still her in this ae. but in addition to that there’s also the prime minister? when does it stop? at this point we might as well forgive the twins’ mother too. she imprisoned her own sons to benefit from their father; beat the shit out of and starved saeran to the point that he wanted to die, but there must be a reason behind it, right? like all the villains in this game her choices are not her own; they are the product of their circumstances and we have to understand that.

i just... i understand what cheritz is trying to convey here. and granted saeyoung is not as forgiving, but this isn’t his story. it felt like the forgiveness was nearing some extreme by the end of it. i don’t think there’s anything wrong if you’e unable to forgive. if the only way for you to move forward is to not do so i feel that’s valid. as long as you’re not hurting anyone and that you’re not hurting yourself, you do whatever you need to recover. forgiving is not the only way, the noble way. not everyone’s backstory you have to understand and take into consideration in order to move on. even if they realise what they did was wrong, it’s okay not to forgive. sometimes that’s what we need to take care of ourselves.

im rambling on this point, but im going through this currently. it’s not as extreme as the choi twins or the rfa, but all my life i’ve been forgiving and understanding and it chipped away at me. even at my expense i forgave everything and it landed me in a place im struggling to get out of. i needed justice and this ae didn’t give me a bit of that... at least not in the way i needed.

4. cheritz said this is the grand finale, but... it didn’t feel like it? again this is me being entitled, but i expected something more. something bigger. something poignant because after this mystic messenger is over. i expected some kind of epilogues in the form of story modes. of course i appreciate everything the company has done, especially the efforts of the writers, artists, voice actors, and everyone, but... it’s so rushed? it such a short farewell that instead of getting catharsis and satisfaction i felt... drained. and i feel sad that it’s all over because im not ready to say goodbye and that goodbye is far too short for me.

i don’t know im just sad it’s all over.

also, the conclusion they come to is the dissolution of the rfa once everyone found their happy ending. i... this is a group that has been through some shit and that doesn’t make them closer somehow? the rfa app lies neglected and abandoned as everyone moves on with their lives? that is so... lonely? at least for me.

i mean, of course, not all endings have to be necessarily happy in the “everyone gets together once a week for dinners” kind, but i just... i dont know i expected them to be closer somehow. maybe they are. maybe outside the app they’re all closer, but... i don’t know. i feel sad they’re abandoning the app.

5. and then there’s kim jihyun.

and im... i dont know anymore. if you know me, follow me, or have read any of my fics you know im a jihyun fan. i love that man and YES i know his sins. we all do.

as i played the ae i started to hope that he’d die in the end instead of suffering through this egregious character assassination. yes, i literally preferred that he died and that i go through that pain instead of suffering whatever this is. obviously i dont want him to die, but this is like killing him anyway. they killed the essence of him, who he is as a person. hell, they probably killed him already and just installed a stranger in the ae because that v is not our v. all throughout the game he’s been kind and compassionate and selfless. his whole thing is about protecting the rfa, the mc, saving the saviour, and sacrificing himself for them. this is the idiot who gives you his hearts when you’re being actively nice to his abuser and saeran in his route. his ultimate happy ending involves everyone being happy, reunited, and given the proper mental care. he went away for two years, putting a much needed pause in your budding relationship, not only to recover from his trauma, but also to rescue saeran and help him recover too.

yes, v enabled the saviour even before another story. he lied. he put everyone in danger. he’s reckless and he keeps secrets way more than what’s natural. but he will never let any of them come to harm. my memory is fuzzy but im sure he never lets the rfa get in danger. he was devastated when yoosung got injured. he also tried to rescue seven and mc in the secret ends thats why he got shot. this guy always looks out for everyone.

in what world is he okay with drugging the twins? making deals with the villains? the idea of trapping the twins in the saviour’s delusional, twisted family life? he’s not the type to be okay just standing there when his best friend’s life is falling apart or for even causing it. when zen, jaehee, and yoosung get backed into the corner he wouldn’t have been just idle. but in this ae all he does is play stacking chairs, buy strawberry yoghurt, and echo the saviour’s words like a puppet. he asks only mc to save herself and like... jesus christ he never gets a break. he doesn’t even get the same gesture of forgiveness everyone and their father gets. he goes through a trial and jail, which is fair enough, but he’s also a victim of abuse and suffering and despair and mental illness. but somehow because it’s v it’s okay that this is all he gets. somehow he doesn’t deserve any compassionate resolution.

literally the only time he’s happy is his route and after end and even then that happiness is not his own. even then there were concessions to be made before he could get it.

seriously. it seems like cheritz hates him. they think little to nothing of him. if that’s the case why even make content for him? he’s not even meant to be romanceable in the original stories. they could’ve just ignored the petitions and left him as a side character. i mean, i dont know if i prefer that honestly, i do appreciate the content we got, but as his fan it hurts to see all this half-hearted decisions. and to see all this hate still pouring out for him, now magnified because of this ae.

this is like a tiring odyssey, starting way back when he got shot and killed all because he loved someone. he loved the wrong person and it’s the wrong kind of love and he committed his crimes because of it. he had a hand in making the rfa and mc suffer, but still all he did was love. and i know that sounds blind and naive and ignorant and im sorry for not picking up the nuances of his relationship with the saviour, but that’s all i saw. i saw a guy loving the wrong person and it made him make all the wrong choices leading to a bad life.

gah. i am drained people. i am drained, and frustrated, and tired.

#jihyun kim #mystic messenger #tag this please #im sorry for this #i dont know why im apologising #i guess for my thoughtless rambles #it became a rant #this is all unfiltered #dont bother reading im just ranting #ive had like an hour sleep today because reasons #anyway thats not an excuse or anything #ANYWAY these are just stupid thoughts #i had to let it out

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jessironi89 · 5 years

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WELCOME!

Welcome to my bitty shop! Here I have quite a few bitties up for adoption. Be sure to check all of them out and hit me up with questions if you have any. Nightmare Bitties:

TealMare: As close to original Nightmare you will probably get. He is a mean bean but there are times where they aren’t as mean and you gotta take what you can get with them. They do still feed of negativity but positivity doesn’t necessarily harm them it just makes them grumpy and if you’re lucky they will get used to it and just get flustered or embarrassed at your niceness. This one loves apples. Surprising? nah not really.

PurbleMare: These ones are not as mean and are pretty neutral when it comes to how they act around you. They do have an unhealthy obsession with herbs and spices so you will most likely catch them in your pantry trying out all of them to see if they are good enough for their owner. They also experiment on combining spices and making a new spice sometimes to. Probably really enjoys cooking and if taught how would be a big help in the kitchen. Favorite food is…….well any herb or spice they find.

GreenMare: This is a good bean, with some anger issues. They love their owner and will do anything for them including getting angry at someone for being rude to you. Or will be ready to tear some asshole a knew one after you have a hard day at work and come home to vent. He will throw tantrums if he doesn’t get his way. Dont give in he will stop eventually just let him get it out his system and after he will most likely just cuddle up to your neck and go to sleep. His favorite food is sour patch kids candy.

RedMare: This adorable little sad bean likes fire. No he loves it. He might be a little pyromaniac so be careful. Even so he is very loveable and needs all the cuddles to keep him from being to sad. Has bad anxiety so comfort and take care of him with all the care in the world and be patient as well. Favorite food is sugar cubes.

TeableMare: This little hybrid is just adorable and very loveable. Can be a bit clingy so be careful where you sit cause you never know where the baby will be clinging to you from time to time. He loves to help you stay organized and will probably do as much cleaning as the small can for you just to impress you however he can. Favorite food is chocolate.

Pinkmare: This little cutie is very loveable and loves to cuddle. Most of them will love you right away but there are some occasions where they are a bit skeptical. Dont worry though they will love you in time. Favorite food is strawberries.

Orangemare: This one is a bit of an adventurer. You might catch him climbing around your furniture or even up your pants leg and shirt. He loves to seek out new adventures and if he is around other bitties will come up with fake little stories and adventures for them to go on in your home. Favorite food is anything citrusy.

Yellowmare: This one loves anything shiny. jewelry, metal bottle caps, coins. Anything that reflects the sun and sparkles. A little bit of a hoarder you may sometimes find your shoes filled with stuff he finds and tries to hide or keep put up for later. Favorite food is pop tarts.

Blancamare: A rather quiet Nightmare bitty. This one is also a bit more protective and acts more like the leader or parental figure of other bitties. He wont let anyone in your home that does not belong there and will also take care of other bitties you have when you are not at home or if you are busy. Favorite food is skittles. Borrors (Horror Bitties) :

Each of these Horror bitties are tale bitties that were abandoned on the streets…. But, they tend to be aggressive at first for Sanses, but gradually calm down a few days in if you continue not to lash out. Each one id different in their own way and their soul magic varies per bitty. Once you earn their trust you will see each soul color sparks a different personality and shows just how caring they can be. The thing is you have to gain their trust over time and you must be patient in doing so. Food also helps, keep them well fed and away from sharp objects until they trust you, then its just to protect you.Each one is treated and kept healthy here at the shelter. Each cracked skull has been fixed though some do not want it so that may vary depending on the bitty you adopt. They are also some who are pretty self conscious about the crack so they keep it hidden in their hood most of the time.In the end these bitties have been through hell and back and deserve a loving and caring home where they can grow and learn to love again.

Billers (Killer Bitties) :

These is the Biller set of Bitties. Each one represents each version of human souls.

PERSERVERANCE Biller: These bitties are very smart. The smartest of the other bitties to be exact and they really love to read. Reading is what you will see this bitty do a lot of and they will also probably as you to read with them many times. They also really enjoy stories so telling them stories would make their day. They could also help with any financial issues you need help with as well. Favorite food is grapes. JUSTICE Biller: This bitty is just a bundle of joy and loves to play games like cowboys and Indians or laser tag. Anything where he can use fake weapon they are all for it. They can get a little anxious at times but all around are very caring bitties who learn how to use medical remedies to take care of other bitties and even their owners. Favorite food is lemons. BRAVERY Biller: These little fighters love to spar and fight. They are big hearted beans who just enjoy a good rough housing sometimes. They are pretty tough so when you play with them you can be a little rougher then normal . If you aren’t you might end up with a pouty bitty who just wants to play with you. This one is a bitty who is in constant need of some sort of stimulation. Toys are very much recommended since sometimes even you cant play with them for to long due to other matters life throws at you. Favorite food is hotdogs. PAITENCE Biller: These bitties are pretty much the essence of patience. They dont let much bother them and are pretty laid back. They love to accessorize and enjoy to change their wardrobe quiet often. They have quite the fashion sense and just love to look their best. They are probably your best bet at fashion advice when getting ready for an event or date. Favorite food is cookies. INTEGRITY Biller: These bitties love music. If they get to upset or emotional music is always a good way to calm them or make them feel better. You may also catch them dancing if you’re lucky. Once they get used to you then youll catch them sleeping on your pillow or on your chest. They are like a cat and only want attention when they want it. If they aren’t in the mood you will probably get hissed at before they go about their business. Favorite food is sushi.

KINDNESS Biller: Probably one of the sweetest bitties youll ever meet. Loves to cook for their owner and will love you unconditionally no matter what. Which could end up bad if they get a horrible owner. They love to cuddle but really love to cook with you or sit around and watch tv. Favorite food is eggs.

DETERMINATION Biller: These are full of Determination to just constantly cling to you like a koala. They need snuggles a lot, if they are deprived for to long they can become a small touch starved anxiety. If you feel you are going to be gone for a little bit to long make sure your bitty either has a companion bitty or has some sort of plushie to cling to till your return. Favorite food is twizzlers.

KitKat (Error!Fell) :

Now this little edgy bitty loves to bite. And I mean loves to. A really good thing to get for this bitty are plenty of things to chew and knaw on. Ya'know something other then your fingers or shoes or….whatever else he would get in his mouth.

Personality wise the Feller bitties can vary but they are mostly just very iffy about who touches them as well as very aggressive to those they are not sure of yet. It takes a while to gain their trust but once you do you have a friend for life. Feller’s are very cuddly and love to cuddle and snuggle. In fact before you do get their trust it is recommended to get them something to cling to while they sleep.

Favorite food? Well they love spicy mustard and pretty much anything chewy. Gummy bears, pocky sticks anything they can crunch on or chew with their teeth is a good idea. They are also pretty nosey so if you have something you dont want found make sure these little guys dont know about that because they will go out of their way to mess with you by going through your stuff.

Blueberror Bitty:

Blueberror bitties are now available! Each one will have its own personality when adopted so it will be at random. You wont know what his personality is until you adopt one so. Try your luck with this cutie! Cross Bitties: with xChara

without xChara

Cross bities are now available! Some come with xChara and others do not. Take your pick! Personalities may vary per bitty. Good luck!

#jessironis bitty pasta store #nightmare bitties #horror sans bitties #borrors #killer!sans bitties #billers #undertale #undertale bitties #blueberror bitties #cross sans bitties #xtale #horrortale #dreamtale #my art #love the babies #adopts #bitty adopt #bittybones #bittybones adopt

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okietrish · 5 years

Text

Deserving of Love.

Love....

Pairing: Jake Kiszka X Reader

Word count: 816

Warnings: only wanting to be in love with the cutie pie that is Jake... sorry about that. (No actual warnings, just fluff)

AN: listen... @satans-helper has got me into a fluff mood recently and I need to indulge. I’m not sorry about it. We stan the fluff.

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“Do you think we all deserve love?” Jake rolled over at the question, looking at your profile dimly lit by the lamp across your bedroom.

“In what way?” He questioned, still amazing at how your mind seems to naturally wander. You turned to look at him, placing the book previously occupying your attention on your thighs and scrunching the comforter beneath your chin.

“I mean as people, we all deserve love right? Everyone has a right to be loved, feel loved, or find something or someone they love?” You spoke with certainty. How blatantly obvious it was to you that love meant everything.

Jake tiredly smiled at your comment, noting how your eyebrows scrunched together in attempt to wrap your mind around something bigger than the world. Desperately looking for answers to questions that were beyond philosophical.

“Yeah of course. At times, ya know, people aren’t ready for love, but when they find it, or more often finds them, it kinda transforms them in a way.” His eyes never left yours as he reached over to brush your hair back, his hand staying at the base of your neck. “What’s got you thinking of this?”

Thinking got the best of you at times, more often then not you found yourself scribbling down ideas in the notebook you kept by your side constantly. It was the writer in you, the poetry flowing deep beneath your veins. Your essence was your words, they fueled you. Even as you looked at the man, the gorgeous man, laying next to you in your bed clad in nothing but on of your sweatshirts and briefs, you felt inspired. His hair was tied up in a bun, hidden by the hood of the fabric, but a few stray strands framed his face. He was effortlessly lovable, adorned in everything beauty and naturalness had to offer. Thinking of how lucky you were sent you into spirals of contemplation, often surfaced by the kind eyes of your boyfriend.

“You. I guess.” You smiled at him, his cheeks instantly changing to a shade of red you’ve quickly came to crave. How this dashing man felt at ease with your words. How you had this effect on him.

“Me? Why me?” Jake’s left hand grabbed your right and began to play with your fingers. A habit he picked up from you actually. Whenever you felt nervous you took his hand as if it was your sense of gravity, he learned to do the same.

“I didn’t think I could love before I met you Jake. I love writing and I love nature, I love the sound of rain and the smell of fresh books, but those things are just one sided. They don’t love me. Until you I didn’t know I loved to be loved.” You were blushing now. Having never talked about love before with Jake. It was obvious you both cared deeply for each other. It was the one thing if your life that was more than words. It was passion filled and action driven. You knew he loved you, though neither you nor him have spoken those words out loud yet, it was obvious to everyone around you.

Jake’s blush only got brighter at the compliments. No one ever made him feel the way you did. You were always word vomiting around him. Anything he did that you enjoyed was always praised. The honesty and bluntness was something Jake didn’t know he needed until he had it in front of him.

“Y/N, I do. I...”

“Jake I love you...” You cut him off, smiling apologetically realizing what you did.

He smiled proudly, leaning over to kiss you passionately for a few moments, then pulling away only a few inches, keeping his face close to yours.

“Ya know... I was going to say that, but you stole my moment.” You giggled, your cheeks now heating up slightly.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.” You kissed him this time. Only lightly before he pulled back, he spoke hushed against your lips.

“I know, that’s one of the reasons why I love you so much.” Jake kissed you again sending a new sensation, a new sense of emotion, along with it.

Eventually you both carried on with your evening. Finishing the chapters in your separate books before getting up to flick off the light. Curling up into Jake’s side, you laid your head on his chest hearing his steady heartbeat, his breath slowing as the time of night sunk in. Stroking your hair, he was easily sending you off to sleep, comforted by his warmth and familiarity. Before you could succumb to your dreams you felt Jake ever so slightly pull on your ear, getting your attention. Then, hearing his quiet voice fill the empty room.

“If this is what love is, everyone deserves a chance to feel the way I do when I’m with you.”

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Tagged: @bigthighsandstupidguys @dontumisfire @myownparadise96

Please, if I missed anyone let me know! I’ve never dont a tagged list before and I 100% just wrote this on my phone 5 minutes ago and couldn’t wait to post it.

💚🌟

#jake kiszka fic #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #gvf #jake gvf #jake kiszka imagine #fluff #gvf fluff #trish’s blurbs #jake kiszka x reader #greta #this is so self indulgent #If anyone wants to sign up to love me that’d be great. im taking applications.

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mollyphoria · 4 years

Text

(off my chest post.)

As soon as I turned the age of 27 last year it was like I've been awaken from a cruel false dream. I opened my eyes then boom I see 27 years of my life laid out in front of me wasted. Yes it took 27 effin years for me to wake up. I wasted all this years and now I'm suffering the consequences of not following my heart, now I'm suffering the repercussions for not realising my dreams sooner as well as pursuing them. I don't believe in myself enough to stand for what I really want so I let society dictate me. I dont love myself enough to believe that I have the capabilities to follow my dreams, luck wasn't on my side too,the odds were never in my favor. So yes I guess I blame both myself and the circumstances given to me on why I failed in life. I failed myself. Society failed me. The system failed me. Oh how I envy people who were able to realise their dreams when they were a kid. these people mostly turns out to be the successful ones in life while I'm left in shambles of not knowing what to do or having such a huge dream I knew I would never reach it. I wanted to become a supermodel but I'm not pretty and tall enough plus I'm from a country not supported by society on having supermodels. Then I wanted to be a rock star. Touring the world, playing the guitar, performing on stage. I can probably make this happen but once again I don't believe in myself and lack of support from family/society was what made this dream seem to get more impossible. I would like to pursue the arts anything from singing, dancing,writing ,painting,drawing etc but I let myself be influenced by what our society drills in my head everyday that there's no money with any of these endeavours so I never got serious to try to achieve greatness from these "useless, juvenile" dreams and plus you need God-given talent to qualify pursuing the arts and I don't have an ounce of it.

So as time goes by I continued to grow older like a dead leaf flailing around in the wind without a specific direction but downwards. But deep-rooted in my soul I knew what I wanted but I chose to stupidly ignore that little voice in my heart that tells me what to do. I to this day continue to beat myself up why I haven't even tried to listen to myself.

So what I did was to completely surrender myself to settle for a lesser,smaller dream that I could possibly reach according to the circumstances I'm handed with

I took up a course in college that I felt at the time would be something I would enjoy and easy,cheap enough to simply graduate and have that diploma just for the sake of it. When I got into the real world and became a full pledge adult for the first time ever I got hit by depression and that's when I first acknowledge that I'm not made for this at all but what I did instead of abandoning it was to try again and aim higher which is to have my own wings and to fly high in the sky and see the world. I held on to that dream. I went to school again. For a moment I had a purpose and for the first time I had direction. I thought I found myself as I try to get those wings. I thought that this will be my redemption. I made myself to believe that I'm meant to do this. I went above and beyond to achieve success. But alas I continued to be the chosen reject and once again odds weren't exactly on my favor and I have given up by the time I'm 27 years old. This is when it all crashed down on me I was chasing a dream gone dead all those years and basically wasted my youth as a result and gained nothing at the end. And I have to admit that i somewhat resent God for putting this dream to flourish in my heart but never gave me a breakthrough to even achieve it. I was left beaten and destroyed. I slaved myself away for nothing, experienced all those sufferings for nothing. I got nothing for all those sacrifices and hardwork I did. Literally all those blood,sweat and tears were for absolutely nothing at the end. I was utterly broken down,my heart was utterly crushed nothing left but broken pieces and a whirlpool of regret. If even this small, mediocre dream I settle myself for is still unattainable for me then my life is no longer worth living. I then proceed to wallow on self pity and resentment and went down to the worst depression I've ever experience in my life. Tears kept on falling like faucets in my eyes. Every streak of effort, energy, motivation ,hope left my body,mind and soul altogether. I turned ultimately dead inside. I don't have anything left in me to even pretend to continue fighting my way into this world. I can't even help myself to help myself. it's like I already died and what was left is just a hollow husk of my former self.

At 27 yrs old i went back to zero. I'm left with nothing to hope for, I didn't gain anything from all the things I went through. After Having the painful knowledge that the journey I made for myself all throughout my teenage to mid twenties is only to become of worthless dust and vomit at the end it made me inevitably bitter about life in general. I started acknowledging thoughts of dying for real. How I realized that it's better to be dead than to be alive, how I wish to have never been born at all. I missed all of these opportunities to win in life and I felt like giving up. Because Life is Suffering nothing more nothing less we will continue to suffer coz that whats life for this is the true meaning of life we are just put here to live so we can suffer and I'm not cut out for it I'm too weak to even restart again.

I realized alot of things. When I was a kid I was always looking forward to the future. I was foolishly, completely convinced that my life will get better as I get older and now that I'm older it turned out to be such a stupid thought coz life didn't get better it only gotten worse and it could only get worst from here on out.

Starting now I shouldn't hope for things to change for the better. It's dangerous to have a false hope and I swear to myself that I wouldn't let myself be fueled by false hope anymore.

And now that it's October I will turn a year older unless I cease to exist first.

I'm honestly scared of the future, now that I can see the true essence of it in its whole entirety.

At 28 I'm running out of time.

I missed the chance to get my life stable.

At 28 I'm entirely clueless on how to get my shit together and I don't even think I have the strength to improve myself. I felt like I just don't care anymore.

At 28 I should have already bought my mother a new house instead I'm stuck and rotting away in a room at her own old house.

At 28 I'm still miserable asf

Still bitter asf

Still dumb asf

Still doubtful asf

Still a loser asf

Let me discuss the thoughts I have about this song 28 of Agust D. This song single handedly describes the anxiety I feel for getting older. The fact that the age he pertained on the title of this song is 28 exactly the age I'm about to turn into soon just solidifies the strong grip it acquired to hold my heart and soul. I felt extremely lucky to turn 28 at the same year with someone as genius as him (tho his 27 international age) nevertheless I'm thankful about this.

Tho there are things that I'm honestly confuse about him having the same fears with someone like me who's a nobody without any single awards, recognitions, accolades or any kind of impact to the world, who's not loved and praised by millions nor have millions of money in my bank account, who doesn't have a big house,big cars nor big rings.

It baffles the living daylights out of me that a person like Min Yoongi who achieved so much in life would feel scared about not knowing his dreams is really about as he gets older. He basically achieved every single one of the dreams I have for myself. His overly set for life that his great great great great great grandchildren will be also set for life. His life wasn't the same like before. His life changed for the better . He earns millions of money by doing what he loves at such a young age. He simply won in life.

We are both 28 but the life I'm bestowed in is the utmost opposite of the life his bestowed in. I'm at the loser end of the spectrum while his in the winner side yet we share somewhat the same fears and anxiety about having to grow older.

This made me question if happiness is really just an illusion. well the genuine authentic euphoric kind of happiness.

Is existence all really just a one big mess with occasional ephemeral pleasure?

If a person who accomplished so much at only 28 still feels depression what's left for me then should I just go kill myself?

Alot of the reasons why I got into this level of depression is because I didn't fulfill anything Yoongi fulfilled.well I'm not really into fame so much but i hope i succeeded on not having to worry about whether I could buy a house or rent an apartment. Yoongi could buy a building for himself while I can't even afford a bedspace of my own

Yoongi could travel the whole world in a whim while I'm mostly stuck in the same place

The stark contrast of our lives is so immense I cant even get my head wrapped around it

My only dillema is that I'm afraid to die but I'm also afraid to live

It's been proven to me now that living in this world is not really living at all it's just purely surviving and I can't deal with this

I'd rather die than to be a slave to the system. And it seems like I don't even have a choice maybe to disappear is the only way out

I'm just not cut out with the cards I've been dealt with

If only I could voluntarily pull my existence out of here then I would do it in a heartbeat

I wish there is a stop button from all of these

#twenty eight #agust d #october #time #sadnees

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decadentrpg-blog · 5 years

Photo

WELCOME EMILY, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF HELOISE DELACOUR

Admins Note: Heloise was certainly a difficult choice to make but after much assessment, I want to say that I absolutely adore what you’ve brought to the table! From build up of her background to every little historical reference that was placed within your application, it cohesively created this duality that Heloise has! I’ve enjoyed every interaction she has as well as the clarity and rationale behind her thinking! Your faceclaim request for Virginia Gardner has been approved. Congratulations on your acceptance again, please make sure to head your way to the checklist and submit your account within the next 24 hours!

Out of Character

Name / Alias: Emily

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Twenty-two

Timezone: GMT.

In Character Application

Full Name: Heloise Delacour

Sexuality: Lesbian.

You like girls. No, that’s wrong. You love girls. You love the smoothness of their skin. You love their gentle curves, their bodies like oceans, refreshing and divine. You love stroking their hair as you lie between sweat-soaked sheets, curling it around your fingertips. You love sharing lipstick shades so it won’t get too messy when you kiss and the sound beaded dresses make when they hit the ground. Most of all, you love who you become around them. Bursting at the seams with euphoria, without a trace of shakiness in your footsteps, you unveil the creature you fought so hard to become - self-assured and valiant. You always slipped into her without thinking about it, knowing instinctively, that this was right. This was who you were supposed to be.

Gender/Pronouns: Cis-female, she/her

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor.

The hat was adamant. They wanted you in Gryffindor. They wanted you to learn to harness your own roar, the find power in your sort of bravery - perhaps even to tame the brasher instincts of your peers, to calm the storm inside of them. Not every kind of bravery favours the bold, the defiant, the loud. There are different kinds of bravery. The courage to carry on when the chains around your neck drag you to the ground. The strength to try and try and try. The valour in turning yourself into an anchor, a steady weight for the rest of the world to ground themselves on. There are all sorts of bravery in this world, each as useful, each as needed, as the last. Children, yourself included, see so much, but so little at the same time.

You didn’t glimpse the potential in yourself. You wouldn’t for many years yet.

But the hat knew.

You pleaded for Hufflepuff, knowing you’d be able to carve a home out of the house. The world underestimated badgers, sneering at their perceived lack of intelligence, wit or ambition. You didn’t see that at all. You saw steadiness, a bedrock to build a person upon. It wasn’t a leap of faith. But society couldn’t be built around those who flew. Someone had to be waiting, down below, rooted to the earth, ready to catch falling angels.

The hat laughed.

“Better be…” Panic rose in your chest, a knot tightening inside of you. “GRYFFINDOR.”

They weren’t unkind to you. But you were the fawn in the pride of lions, the hovering figure in the background, the mute who never could make herself heard. Years later, with your personhood more fully attached, half of you wistfully wishes you could go back and do it better. Do it again. And yet, in your heart, you know there’s no value in looking backwards. You must journey on.

Head canons:

Trigger warnings for violence, war, alcoholism and mentions of abuse.

I. la petite fille

Your father - and you only have the confidence to say this now you’re a fledgling, grown to use her own voice - always cared far too much about what people thought. Cream of French society, darling of the elite, a career-hungry politician intent on climbing the ladder. Ironically, the sunshine in your soul can be traced directly back to him. And yet, where yours is woven into the very essence of your being, a warm touch to steady a storm, an easiness to still a monster, a brightness to diminish the darkness, his is a mask, a choking falseness. It was that, more than anything else, that scared you. He changed before your very eyes - shaking hands and kissing cheeks one second - to plotting behind their back the next. Nothing about him was real. He slipped between your fingers, never a solid thing to hang onto.

(The feeling, you know, is mutual. You were a grand disappointment. Too timid to follow in his footsteps and too honest to lie. You’re mostly strangers now, each unable to understand the other).

Your mother you know a little better. An English rose, she fell for your father’s charms one summer, a fling that never was supposed to turn into a marriage. You were the bump that interrupted those plans, the shame that would have befallen her good name. Both parties were hastily married and that was that. You’ve always wondered if she blamed you for it. Always been too afraid to ask. Your mother, you know, was miserable, far far away from home, shackled to a man she barely liked, forced to play the part of politicians wife. When she played it well, there was harmony in the household. But if she slipped up…all hell broke loose. And her, with her love of expensive wine and flirting with other people’s husbands, did mess up. You never witnessed the war inside of your father unfold, merely lived its after effects. Silently, you’d pull a blanket over your mother’s quivering frame and give your father his favourite cigar.

(As you grew, you became rather good at predicting the ticking time bombs. So before the storm ravaged, you nearly always scrambled to safety, grabbing your teddy bear and retreating to the back of the wardrobe. You never found a secret world in the back of there, but you did find safety - and that was a comfort in and of itself).

Peacemaker, your father would sometimes say with affection, your mother with scorn. You’d gulp and nod silently, opinions kept to yourself. Over time, a survival instinct became a pattern and from a pattern into a habit. Such things are hard to shake.

Ii. maison choisie

Your mother hailed from London’s big smoke and your father made Paris his home, so you’ve always been accustomed to cities - you could even say it’s in your blood. But nowhere ever felt like home more than your Grand-Mere’s home a stone’s throw from Amiens. Reluctantly, with great effort, your father would make the bi-annual privilege there, dragging your mother in tow. You never had to be forced, you galloped ahead, a country girl at heart. There was something so liberating about Amiens, especially in the summer, where the line between the fields and sky was impossible trace and wildflowers bloomed. Your grandmother was kinder than your parents, the only one who could pull you out of your shell - but even then, only when you were alone. More a hedgewitch than practiced individual, she used to set you upon a stool as she practiced her potions, entrusting you with the responsibility of stirring from time to time. She was the one who taught you that magic had more than rigid purpose, that it would be as beautiful as life itself.

She also taught you a second, valuable lesson.

You remember the very first muggle you met. You remember them because they waved joyfully as you stepped into the town square - and knew your father by reputation, your Grand-Mere by face. Your father, ever the diplomat, turned his face away, pretending not to have heard. You, bashfully, didn’t meet their eyes either. It was only later, when your parents had been placated by a bottle of wine or two, that your Grand-mere took you aside.

“Why didn’t you wave back?” Dumbstruck, you look for somewhere to scurry away and hide. Gently, she took your hand into her own. “I won’t hurt you chérie.”

“Maman et Papa didn’t.” And you never were awfully comfortable around strangers, bashfulness seizing control of you.

“They were wrong to.” Bopping your nose, your grand-mere drew giggles from you. “They didn’t wave because he was…” her voice strained over the English word. “A muggle. Have they told you not to talk to muggles?”

You shook your head.

“Don’t let them. There will be some, especially when you go to school, who tell you not to talk to witches who have muggle parents. You musn’t let them order you around. No one is any better or lesser because of the blood in our veins. Even muggles…they’re not witches. But they’re not the enemy. After all, if I never spoke to a muggle, I’d never speak to anyone! Never forget that.”

You promised you wouldn’t. You haven’t since.

Iii. armes de guerre Ultimately, it was war that drove you away from your beloved France and your cherished Grand-mere, who refused to stand down and flee when the German troops overran Amiens. You like to imagine she would not take a cowards way out, apparating whilst the others were rats in a barrel, trapped by the advance. You like to imagine she fought to defend her farm with every trick up her sleeve. You like to imagine she remained strong and valiant until the very end. But you’ll never know. The war snatched her from you, her story lost to the wind. All you had left was an owl from the French ministry and the personal condolences of the French Minister La Magie.

It took you a very long time to summon the courage to return. And even then, you couldn’t do it alone. Kenshin stepped in without being asked, the year after you left Hogwarts, stability at your side as you confronted the ruins of the happiest parts of your childhood. Violence had ravaged the landscape, scarring those who survived. Left with nothing, you saw the hallows of hunger in their sunken cheeks and poverty wrecked on their bones. Beauty had perished and been left to die. But in the ruins of her farm, you saw all was not lost. The Peach trees were still rooted, their bounty just as sweet. The goats, against the odds, made it out of the shelling alive. The old stool you had once assisted your grandmother had merely cracked, not splintered. Life went on - and through the cracks of darkness, light emerged.

You saw something of yourself in that light.

A hopeful creature, timidly taking her first steps into the world. A passionate believer in the strength of goodness, in victory and vanquish over evil. That progress, ultimately, would triumph. That even in the face of blasphemy, there is room for beauty, for brightness. The trick is in finding it and nourishing it, so that it may grow.

From seed to sapling to great oak.

The spark within yourself ignited that day. You felt your grandmother’s presence and smiled. You mourned, not in sadness, but in joy - for all the happiness that had been, for all that would yet come.

The world treads down on optimists, mocking their faith. But you’ve learnt there’s courage in that kind of relentless determination. That day, you felt its whispers in your soul. That day, you swore to let it go free.

Iv. soldat improbable The time that followed ‘The Great War’ was supposed to be the long peace. If you look with hooded eyes, you’d find that in the cityscape of New York. Illicit drinking. Parties that last until dawn. Jazz bands. Woman’s emancipation. There is so much beauty, so much progress. But squint harder - and you’d find an underground war, a cold one, lurking just below the surface. It’s cause is more just than any muggle one ever fought. It isn’t a battle between great powers, princes and their cousins. It’s between right and wrong, progress and past, egalitarianism and inequality.

You know you’re not a likely candidate to fight in it. Most overlook you, sneering at your daintiness, soft smiles and open heart. They should understand that it’s what makes you strong, too. All you want is some small part in this larger battle, to be a part of the greater good. More than anything else, you’re a visionary, able to picture a world beyond this hatred. If you can see the brightness, you can be the brightness, a bedrock for those wearier than you, a guide for those who might come in your direction. You’re no warrior, not in the conventional sense, but not every battle should be fought with a weapon. Some need softer tools. You could be that person.

It is the sum of your duties with Dahlia. You see yourself in her, the girl you were but a few years ago, timid and unsure of the power in her own voice, but possessing a rosy heart. She deserves better. You long to show her that, to share your brightness and certainty in betterness, to pull her from the den of snakes and away from the Pride Society. You’re not asking her to fight, for the Coalition, for you…never. You simply want to help her. You would do anything - give her the means to runaway, a safe roof to shelter under, because you long to see her flourish. You’re just so afraid of failure…of failing her, your duty and yourself. The powers against you are overwhelming, those who wield the weapons lethal. The horrors she confesses terrify you. Light, as bright as it is, can be snuffed out. That is your greatest fear where Dahlia is concerned.

V. Coup de main As fun you’ll admit the parties Wren and Kenshin drag you out to are, you couldn’t carve a life out of them. Pleasure is for hedonists - and you do not count yourself among their ranks. When you found your own voice, the grit beneath porcelain skin, you were determined that it should count. You sought purpose in yourself, a way to matter. Almost as if you were trying to prove yourself…to yourself.

You found clarity in the most unlikely of places. A non-descriptive building in Queens - that would appear empty to an unsuspecting muggle. It’s purpose only became clear when you stepped inside, finding an overworked and overwhelmed refugee agency. In the aftermath of the great war, the creation of a dozen new states in Europe, thousands of wizards chose to emigrate instead, heading to the United States in search of a better life.

It’ll be tough work, the supervisor warned, staring you up and down, disdainfully. You bit your lip. Old habits die hard.

I’m tougher than I look. Promise. Your voice rang with clarity, in how true that statement had become.

You began volunteering on a trial basis. You distributed donations and held shaky people in your arms. You played with children and made puppets dance. After a fortnight, you began to offer your services as a translator, hoping to connect people into the interior of the US. A little while after that, you suggested you could be used by the organisation at large, rather than ad-hoc.

You felt a rush in your chest, advocating for yourself. You felt strong and brave and…right.

VI. bizarreries personnelles

Here are the little things that make you, you.

You never broke the habit of walking on your tiptoes, a legacy left from a childhood full of ballet dancing. Slender limbs, porcelain skin, your teacher used to sigh and wish you centre stage. Bashfully, you refused, your cheeks darkening. The spotlight was never yours to claim.

You cannot cook without making a mess. In your presence, the kitchen comes a bomb sight, ravaged by war. Nose flour-stained, fingers sticky, you chase Kenshin around the kitchen. You always catch him. He always allows himself to get caught.

Your pastries are infamous, light and puffy, the sort only the french know how to make. You refine your recipes with magic and tap your nose whenever anyone asks for their secrets. (Later, in fine ink, you pen them a letter, containing the details).

You despise British food. You ate dutifully at Hogwarts, too shy to even dream of asking for an alternative. Toad in the hole. Pies. Casseroles. Blegh.

You bit your fingernails until you were fifteen years old. Your mother enchanted them after that, exasperated at your lack of self-control. The spell has long worn off, but the manicure never lasts long. It’s a nervous tick.

You used to chew your hair. You threw off that habit by twelve.

Birthdays are your favourite times of the year. You take great pride in the gifts you give friends, a thoughtful gesture behind each one. You do, however, despise your own birthday. Being at the centre of attention makes you uncomfortable, you’d much rather spread and share the joy. Luckily, everyone’s learnt not to throw you surprise birthday parties. Instead, you have small, intimate gatherings.

(You and Kenshin have a ritual. A cupcake at midnight as eve becomes day.)

You’re hopeless at keeping plants alive. There isn’t a green bone - or thumb - in your body. You failed herbology miserably.

But you’re incredibly attentive when it comes to writing in your diary, daily and in french, to prevent eavesdropping eyes. A habit you haven’t shaken since your days in Gryffindor.

Your patronus is a lamb. An individual with a lamb patronus has a sort of natural innocence about them, and have a very serene disposition. They are kind to most, though they tend to have a difficult time reaching out and expressing themselves. They have a shy aspect of them that is not only social, but inner, which makes them hesitant to do many things. That said, they are very patient and calm creatures, which allow them to be workable with this nature.

You talk too much when you’re nervous. Far too much. About things that have nothing to do with anything. The weather. The latest show that opened on Broadway. The dance craze everyone’s talking about. Whether you should get a bob. You blabber, filling the space with…words. It’s endearing to most, but you despise it in yourself.

Your wand is 9 ½”, french-made and slim. Beech and Unicorn Hair. “The true match for a beech wand will be, if young, wise beyond his or her years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience. Beech wands perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant. When properly matched, the beech wand is capable of a subtlety and artistry not seen in any other wood, hence its lustrous reputation.”

Languages are your forte. You have a knack for wrapping your tongue around them, inheriting a little of your father’s silver-tongued mantle. French is your mother tongue, but you’ve added English, Spanish, Italian and a pinch of Latin to the mix.

When you’re making a bold declaration or gesture, you rehearse the words in your mind the night before, like a politician preparing for a speech. You muse over the most effective way to get your point across, the comfort a person will be most receptive to, or whether it’s better just to hold someone and let them cry.

Connection expansion:

I. meilleur ami (Note: I’m happy to change all of this if the Kenshin player disagrees, this is merely my interpretation).

“Mon Frere…” Kenshin catches your grin. Deliberately, his mouth forms an ‘o’. “Ma sœur” You wince at the deliberately butchered pronunciation, but smile nonetheless. He’s always had a particular knack for that, drawing the happiness out of you. And you for him. The only label that fits your description is that of platonic soulmate. Or big brother. For truly, the lines between friendship and family have blurred, that you can’t tell them apart. Certainly, he feels more like family than your own blood ever did.

You met on your tenth day at Hogwarts, in the middle of Herbology class. Devil’s snare wrapped around your hand, you panicked, but were too shy to raise you concerns, suffering in silence. Where few did, Kenshin noticed you - and calmed you down with that bluntness of his. Before you knew it, you were smiling, then laughing and then free. You’ve been attached at the hip since - and shall be, until death do you part. The years did little to change the pair of you. Where some friends grow apart, you grew together, slotting like two jigsaw puzzle pieces. By third year, you were spending Christmas together, Kenshin sensing your unspoken reluctance to go back to France and face the holidays with your parents. After your first one together, you confessed the truth, honesty no one had even known. But most of all, he brought light into his life - different to yours, more brazen and bold. Like two twinned suns, strung across the sky. He is your confidante, secret keeper, joker, dance partner and now, roommate.

The latter made sense. When the two of you ended up in New York at the same time (it’s impossible to imagine the two of you oceans apart, impossible and terrible and dreadful), it made sense for the pair of you to find a two-bed apartment in Manhattan and make it your home. You are as compatible roommates as you are friends.

And, for the first time, he made a house a home.

II. le fruit interdit (Again, I’m happy to alter things dependent on plotting w/ Prosperina’s player) You shouldn’t want to kiss her. If you are the doe, she is the wolf - a huntress determined to strike clean. In your heart, you know you should hate that dynamic, as you know you should despise her - resent the intimidation that rises through your bones, abhore the uncertainty she makes you feel.. You should be afraid. Very afraid.

And in so many ways, you are. You’re scared of what your attraction to her says about you, now that you are both girls grown, living with the choices you make as adults. You aren’t school children anymore, you aren’t praying to be noticed, doodling hearts with your names encased in it. You’re fearful of what might happen if you find yourselves alone, in a dark - or a light - room. But you’re more frightened, in a strange way, of nothing happening at all.

With Prosperina, there are so many unspoken anxieties, so many things you can’t possibly wrap your head around, that you can’t possibly know. Why she notices you now. When you began to crave the burn. If the risk is worth a moments ecstasy. How beauty could wear such thorns.

You know, now, how Eve felt, in the Garden of Eden. Just one bite, the snake hissed. Just one kiss, Prosperina whispers. You have no wish to shed your wings and toss yourself from Paradise’s gate. But she’s just as beautiful as any angel you’ve ever gazed upon.

In Character Paragraph:

Thursday night, 9pm sharp, the Yale Club. Dress elegantly. Heloise didn’t need to glance down at the invitation to know its contents, her heart having memorised them ten times over, skipping a beat each time it paused at a cursive. Even Prosperina’s writing was beautiful. She would have liked to say that the invitation was unexpected, out of the blue and had been firmly rejected. Yet, since she distastes lies, she could not.

Heloise had, however, made an attempt or two to excuse herself. Sending an owl in return, she had outlined her disapproval of the Pride Society and its galas in no uncertain terms. Prosperina had take an age to respond - deliberately, Heloise supposed, to make her nerves hop and jump. When she had, Heloise could almost taste her tone. It’s not one of those. It’s for charity. Don’t you support charity? She had caved. Heloise couldn’t be sure if that was strength or weakness, good or bad.

Three days later, another letter had arrived. Wear pink. It matches the blush on your face.

Stepping into the room, Heloise steeled herself, a picture of defiance in angel-white, beads reflecting the light back.

Not so long ago, she would have cowered, a ghostly slip of a thing, trembling in the corner. Glass of champagne stitched to her hand, she would have sipped until someone had taken pity on her - and even then, she might have fled. That worked under the assumption she plucked the courage to attend at all. Time sandpapered everyone, some for the better, others for the worse. Heloise liked to think she took after the former.

The first eye she caught was from across the room, her gaze instantly drawn to the slip of a girl shrouded by demons, unable to do anything but stare from her cage. Dahlia. It hurt to see her here, to see the shackles bound and to know she was powerless to help. To approach her, to take her hands into her own and wrap her arms around her shoulders was to betray her newfound friend, to expose her doubts to the world. There was cruelty in watching her suffer - but there was greater cruelty in taking a hammer to the foundations below her feet. That wasn’t Heloise’s job. Hers was to encourage Dahlia to flutter her own wings, to learn how to fly. All in good time. Smiling softly across the room, she let her face say what her tongue couldn’t. Stay strong, keep the faith.

The second pair were Prosperina’s - appearing from nowhere, sneaking up behind. Departing from conventions and norms, she didn’t bother with small-talk. “You look ravishing. But not as pretty as you would have had in pink.”

Tongue-tied, Heloise searched for a response. No one had the power to shrink her anymore, now that she had freed her voice from its restraints. And yet, that didn’t mean anymore wit had returned to it. In times like these, she prayed for Kenshin’s presence at her side, always ready with a sharp retort, the sort that drew him closer to someone. Or even Wren, brazen and bold, who spoke without thought. You don’t want to impress her! One voice screamed.Not like you imagined you might, a lifetime ago.

And yet, a little bit of her did.

Heloise spurned her interest. But a little bit of her didn’t want to do without it either.

“I - Thank you. You look…” Staring at Prosperina for the first time, Heloise felt the breath be stolen from her lungs. Divine. Enchanting. “Like a million bucks.” Slanting her voice into an American accent for comedic effect, she immediately regretted her choice no sooner had it been said. “And this…it’s certainly big. Very big. I suppose that’s good. The more people you can fit in, the more donations you can collect for charity.”

Prosperina laughed. Heloise was never sure if she was being laughed at or with. She preferred to think it was the latter.

“The committee had a few reservations. Something about…vermin control. The guest list is rather exclusive, you see.”

Confusion flashed across her face. It wasn’t as if New York was a stranger to rodents…but something about her tone, about the look on her face…made it clear that it wasn’t animals she was referring to. Without noticing, Heloise had become a player in the game. The smile froze on her face. “I sure hope that isn’t a reference to the architects who built the place. Or the perfectly nice people going about their business on the floor below. They’re not doing any harm.”

“Ah yes, the No-Maj’s, as our Yank friends love to say.”

Heloise tensed on the mention of that word. She despised it. No-Maj. So…derogatory. And rather rude. As if they didn’t count as people, or deserve respect, on the merit of something they didn’t have - and had no choice in having. “I hate that term. I hate - you shouldn’t talk about them like that. Nobody should. They’re hardly hurting anyone. And technically, this is their territory so really we should - be respectful.” Exhaling heavily, she steadied herself.

“Oh,” Prosperina leaned in, all smiles now, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “You’re such a doll. I was only playing. But I can be nice, if you ask nicely.” Her touch felt like electricity, the sort of chemistry that couldn’t be duplicated or faked. When it was real, it was real. “I’ll go fetch us expensive champagne to make amends.” Half-purr, she broke off and Heloise dropped her gaze. “Pink Champagne, I think.”

Cheeks deepening into rosy-red, Heloise watched her depart, wishing she could look away.

Extras:

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thestillness · 2 years

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Life Draft

“I wrote the following wall of text a couple of years ago and i kept it in the tumblr draft. I haven't posted here in a while, in fact i have deleted a lot of stuff over the years that i regret, i started this blog as a teenager and i shouldn't have been ashamed of older posts but i cant bring them back... but here is something i think it still very much applies to me and everyone else.”

I'm conflicted this night, I'm usually very emotional but tonight is different, my soul feels heavy, my eyes are teary and prone to spill over nothing.. I admit I'm probably the first to cry at movies or hearing songs, and i know that's a turn off for many people and not very manly, but that's who i am.

It has always been a problem because sometimes i cant tell if I'm just being cathartic or being truly touched.

Reflecting on the past has always been difficult for me, i have always had a lot of connections and people i knew but very very few friends, you know the kind we can confess anything to, the kind that will always worry about you and never ever leave you even when they are far away...and vice-versa... that kind of thing.

I have had some of these types of relationships over the years and its sad because it takes a very big change and a traumatic event in your life, like moving, losing your job, your house and pretty much everything, an illness, etc.. to see who really loved you and cared for you.

Its funny to see these "friends" just winning at life and being superstars, having everything they ever wanted, after abandoning and betraying their close friends and people that genuinely cared for them, not cared about what they had or the position they were in but their essence, their soul.

I know that life doesn't stop and you shouldn't stop either, but don't you have that friend, old friend, who just happens to hop on facebook and you really want to talk to them but you don't have anything to say?

Its that tragic, that we create chasms between our friends and even family and we pretend that everything is ok, by liking a picture or a stupid comment on a post, are we so uninvolved, so desensitized that we choose a vicarious tool just to feel noticed?

Every passing year i feel the hearts dim, our humanity is being chipped away ever so slowly and while this is happening we all crave the same thing, love.

Im guilty of this, i grew up on video game consoles but we sat next to eachother.. back then in my neighborhood no one had a computer, we would all hang out together, play some games, goof around, eat lunch, talk... you know we were real friends, when did that turn into avatars in a virtual sociological abomination?

I may look like an hypocrite right now by posting this on tumblr, but i'm not blaming social networks, i like them, they have a lot of potential, but is it worth neglecting everything else? we are increasingly becoming dependent on these networks and not just that, cellphones, skyping whatever, we are more comfortable watching people rather than being with them.

I know that for many people these are the only real friendships that they can cultivate, because they are shy and awkward, i know this, im a little bit like that, but the whole point of these things is to help you grow out of them... Dont get me wrong, i have made many friends online, some i still hold today! and i care for them very much but at some point you need to be focused on something solid.

Its perfectly fine if you are a gamer or your job has something to do with networking and you happen to have many contacts and game friends in a virtual environment, this is not what im talking about, i'm talking about

real commitment, unbreakable bonds that last a lifetime.

The other day someone asked me, why don't you usually engage in conversations online more often, that's because i use the medium to share things, pictures, songs, art, games, whatever, i don't rely on the internet to build flimsy relationships with it.

I didn't mean to go on a tangent here, and im sorry but this is the world we live in, a bleak future awaits us if we keep on neglecting other people and their needs, we have a responsibility towards each other and our world, not because we will enjoy it forever but because we are indebted to it and to everyone, because we cant live alone and because we shouldn't stand for negligence and suffering of any kind.

So value your friends, even so make friends out of enemies, talk to them openly and make bonds that will withstand anything that comes down the line.

#personal #reflection

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loyalbreed · 6 years

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Cent has decided to back away for the time being; because he feels that it is effecting people he has come to appreciate. That he doesnt know how to return such kindness that was given to him in full. And much like the beginning when the catfish thing first happened, he is overwhelmed and doesnt know where to begin to reach out to people. Again like the beginning, the only people who spoke to him about it wanting an answer. Were the people directly effected by it? Myself included, versus people who just kept using it against him? The Catfish thing was resolved and ended well between many people who were effected actually. The person who owns the blog that is being linked about him is scrambling to delete it since it was kept by her and a lot of others. To make sure it was out there that what had done, did happen. And that it wasn't over looked either; the fact Cent asked to keep that blog up. Should be important notion alone over who he is as a person. It was not to be brought up negatively again and used as a tool to populate someones obsession and anger over him. Since it seems to continue to happen by the same people staring a new issue every so often when he has people comfortably having fun with him. Which makes me upset because it seems that if a community is happy; unhappiness needs to happen.

I do not like long posts--and honestly this didnt stay short. But I want say how upset I am this happens again. Considering I was one of the close to him when Cent Catfished; its really stupid to see people who had nothing to do with him at the time. Bring this up as if they were really the ones effected most directly from it? Further you are bringing up bad feelings that many people have already come to let sit on their chest and deal with ultimately. To further delve into my own sense of okay this post is about me, even though this isnt. I need you all to know how Call Out Culture is ineffective and Bad. From my stand point with my experience I want to leave you with a short burst of information about myself and how we handle it along with DCF, a separate government branch, DDS, and her therapists. My sister is severely mentally disabled. For the rest of our lives we will be taking care of her. She cannot wash herself. She thinks that Star Scream from Transformers is real and often comes to talk to her. I told her once she couldnt date a toaster as a joke, and she threw the toaster at me screaming about it. She really thinks star scream is attractive, and often details herself with obsessions with Aliens and outer space. She thinks God is evil-- because God made her this way. And cant understand why that is a sad thing to say. She just gets frustrated; frustrated is her essence of living. And acting out on it is how she is derived of. To continue, she has pushed me down stairs. Abused me. Told me to die. Tried killing me several times. Has emotionally abused my little brother to the point we have a separate staff of people in and out of our house for him. This is nearly every day for me; every day it is. Is kayla alright? did she do something? Did she hurt someone? did she hurt herself? no? Good good. Today was a good day. How is this relevant toward this situation and pertaining toward things going on; the thing is rather then take my sister out of the house considering how constant this is. The government stresses on keeping her in the home and helping us all as a whole keep together. When a break is needed; and it can be afforded. She goes into Respite Program where she leaves for a week or so. She is actually going to one soon, and is very excited because they are going to go out a lot! To reiterate the government keeps disabled individuals who may be a threat to the family within the home. With emergency issues and things that need happen--and yes when she says she wants to kill you she means it. As someone she has tried to I can say that much alright. To make a point; People who are an issue you do not merely remove them and or kick them out. Indeed themes need be addressed and if their are serious manners of which Pedophila is being actually done then we and you. Need to contact police enforcement. They will take you seriously; it is a serious endeavor. You can involve Tumblr Staff as well, there are channels to pull with if there is something volatile that need be addressed. I implore you to. Yet often times it seems when posts are made, the latter is true. To highlight the issues where, Cent condones or romanticizes these things that are being said. If you read these rules it is not the case. He states that he will participate in these things but does not want just anyone asking him. Nor does he want anyone shipping with the character as he doesnt understand why it is you would? It is weird to think that from these text alone you would take context otherwise-- Especially knowing before this post was presented. Cent talked about how on his Bel blog he doesnt want to make people feel like his Bel is pushing on them or making them uncomfortable. And that he would never participate in noncon. Or that on King Arthur; he does not do any of these themes what so ever. That these themes are only present on the villainous character he does not even participate in roleplaying anymore. To round this over; it is getting upsetting seeing how this is effecting one another when the general idea is ‘ i just want to be happy and want people to talk/do things with.’ Rather then ‘ i want nothing to do with this person. ‘ So many people are stressed out and want to talk to cent. Reach out to Cent. But are constantly being told otherwise; its sad and im happy to know that people exist out there that know in actuality how dealing with problems work. Versus adhering the idea that you need kick someone out. I fear those people. Because i fear letting my sister do something around someone and someone not understanding and condoning her for it when they only have a minuscule of the story. Seeing as people cant even understand someone who makes sense how would you understand someone like my sister? Its cool you can say now ‘ oh But no we arent talking about that. ‘ Yet the only reason why you can feel this way is because you know the story behind my sister, many of you dont know anything about Cent save for interacting with him and that he makes you laugh. So Im going to Tell you one thing about Cent that for me now that you know my story makes me happy to share. Seeing that Cent came out from such a bad place, being such a bad person, doing such horrible things but choosing to do better made me believe in others again. It made me believe that even if my sister does all the things she does. There is always a spot and place for her to truly come about and make a better decision too. True, Cent is a more able bodied man and isnt disabled like my sister. But its just the fact that he does and he could and he can. That makes me believe anyone can. It makes me feel like no matter who you were in the past; you can always chose to be better then that. And no matter how many times or who wants to believe who you are in the past dictates who you are in the future. Wont ever mean as much; That anyone despite the things they have done can always chose to be a better person then what they had been. And cent really does solidify that fact. As someone who knew him from the time as a cat fished. That got catfished by him. Literally back stabbed by him. Only to come down and talk again as friends. I feel like I get to say that not anyone else, and Im really glad to be able to say that lmao. He is my closet friend and will always remain to be. I don’t mind if you feel you do not want to talk to me or think I romanticize his issues as someone who has gone through so much. So much and more, you would not begin to understand. I feel you are more then welcome to believe that but I know there are people who talk to him and know what he does and feels the same. And are comfortable with the rounded world they have created with friends. And I really ( SHOUNEN VOICE ) I really just believe in people--people change. And Cent makes me realize that this is possible. And you cant just remove people out of your life thinking they wont. And because I know better and because I am an adult with my head well on my shoulders. I can make that decision, i understand if you cannot yet or are afraid or uncertain. I implore you to keep yourself safe just know that some of us feel chill. and we are all alright btw!! So dont feel like we are being attacked or manipulated by cent.

But I insist you stop thinking that trying to get rid of someone is going to solve an issue. People continue living and breathing every day regardless of what you think or want to happen? No one is ignoring the issues or ignoring the fact that stuff happened if you are scared or uncertain as well about them feel free to add me and we can always group convo and you can let your feelings bare. Or anyone really? just be mindful and fair?

This isnt going to make Cent come back i really just feel like. I want these feelings to be known and that if you are ever called out personally I will gladly give you a chance of your own. I can only hope to god, that he would give that chance to my sister one day if something happened. And to anyone and everyone, as well as teach other people that everyone deserves that much.

#「✱《 𝓢 𝓱 𝓮 s p e a k s 》 ᵒ ᵒ ᶜ」#This is indeed about what you think it is #so its under read more #though i apologize to mobile users #i ask that you no need to comment on this and not #i merely wish for this to be as it is and if the other party who has started the issue continues #they can continue to comment on it as it seems to effect them the most in current #otherwise iwish to just let this be known #somewhere

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darktwistydamaged · 3 years

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✨ Small minds can't comprehend big spirits. To be great, you have to be willing to be mocked, hated, and misunderstood.

✨ "Maybe I'm a pig. Maybe I'm an ass. Maybe I'm a vermin like everybody says but I tell the truth, it's the only thing I've got going for me."

✨ "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - #WinstonChurchill

✨ Don't tell me i'm the prettiest u've seen.Tell me I'm a warrior, tell me I'm stronger than any blows I've taken & that I wear the scars well

✨ A badass crazy, tells the truth. Soft but strong. Knows her worth. Unapologetic & honest. The type of woman u go to war beside not against.

✨ There's fire in her. If loved correctly, she will warm your entire home. If abused she will burn it down.

✨ When someone dies of cancer, we blame the disease. Suicide is a disease, dont blame the victim for losing the fight.

✨ She's a masterpiece of chaotic beauty.

✨ She's like a tornado with pretty eyes & a heartbeat. A stubborn heart, messy mind, reckless soul.

✨ We are masters of unsaid words but slaves of those we let slip out.

✨ She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles.

✨ She's fire and ice, you'll fear the cold and crave the burn.

✨ She wears strength and darkness equally well. The girl has always been half goddess, half hell.

✨ She is art. What the fuck do you expect from her other than, confusion, beauty and god damn soul?

✨ Fierce soul. Brave heart. Strong mind.

✨ Sometimes hell is the person who promised you something heavenly. The devil is good at pretending to be everything you want.

✨ Like death, she was breath taking.

✨ Stop being afraid of being crazy, instead guard yourself from being "too" sane. This is the artists way.

✨ Beauty may be dangerous, but intelligence is lethal!

✨ She is both hell fire and holy water and the flavour you taste is based on how you treat her.

✨ Chaos & beauty intertwined. Whiskey in a tea cup. Angel eyes. Acid mouth. Messy mind. Reckless soul

✨ A hopeless romantic with a twisted mind and high standards.

✨ Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But every now and then, drink it in. 'Cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow #GreysAnatomy

✨ I will not settle for anything less than a soul deep, electrifying connection.

✨ The lips of a sinner, a devilish kiss.

✨ She has that "set the whole fucking world on fire" look in her eyes, kind of bad ass vibe to her.

✨ An acquired taste, not for the faint hearted.

✨ Nothing is ever designed to offend. You choose to get offended.

✨ Every heart is like a phoenix. It may catch aflame and burn to ashes, but it will be reborn, stronger than before.

✨ The world isn't split into good and evil. We've all got light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. #SiriusBlack

✨ Three things that can not remain hidden, the sun, the moon, and the truth. #Buddha

✨ I love you more, the more I love you.

✨ You're down, but you're not out and whatever is going on in your life, you keep fighting. #JenniferLopezTrueLove

✨ In the same way negative experiences can bring you down, having positive people around can help lift you up. #TrueLove

✨ Every ending is also a beginning. We just don't know it at the time. @shemarmoore #CriminalMinds

✨ She's a terribly real thing, in a terribly false world & this is why she is pained so often.

✨ I don't want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life changing, extraordinary love.

✨ She never looked nice, she looked like art & art wasn't supposed to look nice, it was supposed to make you feel something.

✨ The tragedy is not to die, but to be wasted. #HannibalLecter

✨ She got her daddy's tongue & temper. Sometimes her mouth could use a filter. God shook his head the day he built her oh, but I bet he smiled

✨ U bring out the best in me. I don’t mean better manners, or a sense of maturity or whatever else this world expects of me. I mean, u make me want to climb rooftops, run wild, act inappropriately, take risks & pursue my dreams with passion & integrity - U make me feel like living

✨ I am fire. If you want something salty & sweet with no opinion, I’m not the woman for you. I spit flames often!!

✨ You have set on me, but you are not the sun.

✨ Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are.

✨ Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best. - Tim Duncan

✨ I want somebody with smart intellect and a heart from hell, kisses so deep like a bottomless well.

✨ Lust is when the mind desires what the heart admires. Love is when the mind admires what the heart desires.

✨ “The world has already been too tough on her, the least she needs is tough love. Be tough when you need to be, but always be soft with her. She has thorns, but she is a flower.”

✨ She slept with wolves without fear, for the wolves knew, a lion was among them.

✨ She that dare not grasp the thorn, should never crave the rose.

✨ Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I couldn't do for you. Hate me in ways, ways hard to swallow, hate me so you can finally see whats good for you.

✨ You’re so screwed up that you make me, make sense.

✨ "If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems." #GreysAnatomy

✨ "Too often, the thing you want the most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken." #GreysAnatomy

✨ A queen will always turn pain into power.

✨ "The only voice that matters is the 1 in your head. The one telling you what you probably already knew. The one that’s almost always right.”

✨ Do not hide your face. The moon is covered in craters yet still commands our attention, even in the midst of all those glittering stars. What I mean to say is, you are magnificent, for all your imperfections, simply as you are. - Beau Taplin

✨ Damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive.

✨ The only way you can be mistreated, is by allowing yourself to be mistreated. #TrueLove Jlo

✨ Deception and perfection are wonderful traits, one will breed love and the other hate.

✨ I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow & the soul.

✨ "Each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line.." - Meredith Grey

✨ Why do we always want the ones who don't see us, instead of the ones who do?! #YoureNotYou

✨ Every time I break, I come back stronger than before 💎🔹

✨ Loving someone is just delayed pain, eventually you’re going to lose them, one way or the other. #InsidiousChapter3

✨ “She’s tough. She tries to hide it. She’s difficult. But if you make an effort, she’s worth it. She’s worth the effort.” - #McDreamy #GreysAnatomy

✨ I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of a movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me!! #OliviaPope #Scandal

✨ It’s gonna hurt me to hate you, but loving you is worse. #CardiB

✨ Don’t focus on what if, focus on what is. - #IrreplaceableYou

✨ “When your heart breaks, you’ve got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are. That pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.”

✨ I survive because the fire inside me burns brighter than the fire around me.

✨ She feels powerfully.

✨Deeper than you’ll ever understand with a heart of endless vision for the unconditional for every aspect of the flawed soul. She’s complicated. She feels everything and nothing; the good and the bad all at once. All the time!!

✨ "And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long." — Sylvia Plath

✨ If you can still find the beauty within the darkest days, sometimes, that alone is an accomplishment. When you feel like you’re drowning, like you can’t even deal anymore, stop for a moment, recollect, take a breath. Then you begin again.

✨ You like because and you love despite.

(You like someone because of all of their qualities & you love someone despite some of their qualities)

✨ A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely. Her tears flow as abundantly as her laughter. A strong woman is both soft and powerful, she is both practical and spiritual. A strong woman in her essence is a gift to the world.

✨ All things that live, die. This is why you must find joy in the living, while the time is yours, and not fear the end. To deny this is to deny life. To fear this... is to fear life. But to embrace this... Can you embrace this?

You are stronger than you think. - #IKillGiants

✨ Being normal isn’t necessarily a virtue, it denotes a lack of courage.

✨ Like the moon, she had a side of her so dark that even stars couldn’t shine on it. She had a side of her so cold that even the sun couldn’t burn on it.

✨ Broken girls blossom into warriors

✨ A rose can never be a sunflower. A sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way, and that’s like women too. - Miranda Kerr

✨ Inside everyone there exists a dark side. Most people rise above it but some are consumed by it until there is nothing left but pure evil

✨ Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. - #HarryPotter #PrisonerOfAzkaban

✨ Don't you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can't be exactly who you are - #LadyGaga

✨ You either get bitter or you get better. It's that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person or you allow you to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you.

✨ She’s a strong cup of black coffee in a world that’s drunk on cheap wine and shallow love.

✨ “Every day you wake up and have a second chance, to do whatever you want, to be whoever you want. The only thing stopping you, is you” - #SecondAct @JLo

✨ It starts with the eyes, she's got to have those kind of eyes that can see through the bullshit to the good in someone, 20% angel, 80% devil - #DominicToretto #FastAndFurious

✨ Ignoring your instincts is like blinding your soul. #TrustYourGut

✨ Let me be clear, my love is unconditional but your presence in my life is not. The moment that you prove that your value of me does not measure up to my sense of self worth — i’ll have no problem unconditionally loving the memory of you.

✨ Intimacy is beyond kisses, cuddles & sex. It’s is crying at night about your past to someone who listens & comforts you. It’s getting a headache, taking a nap & waking up to your partner rubbing your back. Intimacy isn’t all to do with sex, it’s the small things that count

✨ The people you can joke around and have fun with that don’t fit in a box, take no shit, kick ass when needed... the fiercely badass, kindhearted, deep down sweethearts and that are kind of assholes but not full assholes. Yeah, those are my kind of people.

✨ Everything is temporary; Emotions, thoughts, people & scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it.

✨ It's okay to put your heart on your sleeve. Okay to have that softer side - the softer side in the sense of being able to listen, to deal with fear, to not always be so dominant. 😋 @shemarmoore

✨ Just a reminder: You’re whole without someone else. You are not a fraction. You’re a complete masterpiece all by yourself; you do not need anyone else to validate your existence.

✨ To the women of the world. You’re sexual. You’re soulful. You’re emotional. You’re spiritual. You’re magic. You’re both of the light and the dark. You’re human. Don’t deny any aspect of who you are. A healthy soul is a whole soul.

✨ Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself.

✨ Being dark and twisty is not a flaw, it's a strength.

✨ We're all in the same game, just different levels, dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

✨ She is the kind of dark you only see in a cemetery in October on a haunted Halloween night .

✨ #Chemistry - an attraction that can’t be quantified or explained

✨ All you can count on is now, this moment, because in a blink, everything can change - #Dexter

✨ The smallest thing can change your life. In the blink of an eye something happens by chance, when you least expect it. - #TheLuckyOne

✨ Sometimes, finding the light means you must pass through the deepest darkness - #TheLuckyOne

✨ Sometimes things hit u all at once. You’re up one day, then down the next. Life is one big wave. All we can do is flow, adapt & transform.

✨ There are three types of people, those at the top, those at the bottom & those who fall. - #ThePlatform

✨ There are things that will happen that will make you feel powerless, that will make you feel insignificant but that’s it, they’re just feelings and sometimes you have to stop feeling & start doing. #Underwater

✨ Yeah I’m somebody’s DUFF, guess what? So are you, so is everybody. There’s always going to be somebody prettier, more talented or richer than you. That should affect how you see yourself. - #TheDuff

✨ Made wiser with heartache. Made stronger by pain.

✨You don’t have to climb a mountain to stand on top of the world.

✨Even the ugliest of places can be beautiful as long as you take the time to look.

✨It’s okay to get lost, as long as you find your way back.

✨ There is beauty in the most unexpected of places

✨There are bright places even in dark times, and if there isn’t, you can be that bright place, with infinite capacities

✨ Physical attraction is beautiful, but it’s the mental attraction that leaves you wanting, needing, craving.

✨ Jealousy - A sign of insecurity, a sign of weakness, a sign of obsession

✨ Like roses we blossom and die.

✨ I have absolutely no need to be liked or understood.

✨ I'd rather be scary than cute. Cute isn't always memorable, but nobody forgets scary

✨ Greatness, lies not in being strong but in the right using of strength. He or she is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts, by the attraction of his own. - #Wonder

✨ This darkness of mine cries out for light and all you did was lurk in the shadows. - 🖤

✨ Your demons, your darknesses are part of your masterpiece, your beautiful dark art

✨ What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.

✨ “We owe it to the people that we lost, to live the lives that they can’t “ - Meredith Grey 💔

✨ You only get mad because you care. Anger is often an expression only shown towards people and things you care about the most.

✨ To live, is to suffer and to survive, you’ve got to find meaning in the suffering.

✨ She is the wolf they could not ensnare, the voice they could not silence and the fierce wild spirit they could not destroy.

✨ I’m not tearing down my walls for anyone again, you want to know what’s inside? #Climb.

✨ You're a flower. Don't compare yourself to weeds just because they grow faster. 🌷Slow growers have the most resilient roots. 🌱🌻

✨ To find me; you must first unbury me.

✨ Bury me in a dark forest, smelling of the earth, alone with the creatures forevermore.

✨ She’s part lady, she’s part wild, and she’s all fucking storm.

#Quotes #MovieQuotes #QuoteThatTalk #WordsOfWisdom #Descriptive #CanRelate #Relatable #LifeQuotes #QuotesAboutMe #QuotesAboutWomen

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alexrodriguespage · 4 years

Text

Our Anasazi Experience Pt. 1: Ivie’s Interview

I have sat down countless times to write this blog post, and it was like my fingers just wouldnt work. I have had so many emails from parents that are worried and families that are in crisis that I know it’s time to share something. Even if we’re still close to it, even though we dont have a 20/20 perspective yet, and even though we are still very much finding our footing and working through stuff.

I know that this is a very public forum. Sharing this is something that we decided as a family. We arent putting our daughter “on blast”. She very bravely opened up about going to Anasazi before we even considered sharing it. I dont know about you but at 16 I was for sure not woke enough to know that sharing the hard thing I’m struggling with could lighten someone else’s burden. As a mother there is nothing in this world that I could be more proud of her for.

This post like all of the posts we share about our story with addiction, is about hope. I mean, what’s the point of going through rough stuff if in the end it doesnt help anyone? Here is our experience. We hope with our whole hearts that it can help one of you!

Our 16 yr old daughter was struggling. Without going into to too much detail (honestly it’s irrelevant now that we’ve experienced Anasazi) we were completely lost with how to help. For years we had tried all of the things that people suggested and it just wasnt helping her. Knowing what I know now, there was no way that she could change without our family changing as well, but that is what we kept trying to do. Change her, fix her. The reality is that our whole family was in crisis. We ALL needed to be changed.

I had some pretty inspired revelation that she needed to go to the Anasazi wilderness program. (You can read more about that here!)

The Anasazi Foundation is a non-profit wilderness therapy program for teens and adults. It is grounded in Native American traditions and outdoor survivalist methods. Anasazi has their own language for stuff, so as I use it I’ll make sure to clarify what it means! The YoungWalkers (as the kids are called) live in the wilds of Arizona for 7-8 weeks and it is one of the most inspired programs I have ever experienced. They are taken out of the world and given tools that help them see themselves differently.

Those that have been following along for a while know that Court and I LOVE the LDS 12 Step program, I love Anasazi just as much. It is inspired and saved our family. In fact we love and believe in it so much that every single one of our kids will be going, whether they are struggling or not.

The incredible thing about Anasazi is that it isnt just sending your kid off to get “fixed”. As parents and family members we are also doing really intense work. Even though we’re not physically walking like they are, we are walking in our hearts right along with them. They have a powerful workshop that you get to attend when you drop your Youngwalker off that changed my whole outlook on life.

Anasazi believes that every child is good; that they have a Seed of Greatness. The Trailwalkers (the staff that lives and hikes with the Youngwalkers) are so positive. They understand the sacred responsibility that we as parents have trusted them with, and they love those kids hard. They magnify every good thing they see in that child in ways that only an outsider full of compassion and a deep desire for connection can. They see and focus on things that we as parents are missing in our every day frustrated interactions. They dont know anything about the Youngwalker’s past or situation, they go in completely open to learning about them and treating them with compassion and love.

Each Youngwalker has a Shadow (Therapist) that they meet with once a week. The Shadow goes out on the trail and has sittings (sessions) with them. Court and I also met with him via phone once a week for a report on Ive and to help us with the things that we were working on. Shadow G is part of our family forever. We love him!!

Life on the Trail

I did a little interview with Ive about what life on the trail was like. I wanted to share it from her perspective. Because TBH if I just listed the facts of what they did and didnt have, and did and didnt do, its intense. But no one has died, so that’s good right?!

After some of her answers I chime in with a little more detail/clarity, these notes will start with an asterisk*.

If someone is sending or thinking about sending their child out on the trail, what do you want them to know about it?

Um, that it sucks at first but it gets easier. Ya, it pretty much just sucks (laughs) but it’s a really good experience and you wont regret going. Send them!

In the beginning, what was the hardest thing about being on the trail?

Not being able to see my family. Not knowing anyone in my band yet.

The band is group of people that you’re stuck with. (laughs) You have to learn to like them and work together. It was hard because you dont want to be stuck in a place where you dont like the people you are around cause that makes you unhappy and its unpleasant.

There are a lot of different personalities in the band. Some people I got along with really easily and some people were harder. I met my best friend when I first walked into the office. Meeting her was the best thing of my whole life. We left on the trail together and came home at the same time. If you are going out there I would try really hard to find a friend, because some people are weird. Parents, you’ll get the stories when they get home. That’s all I’m going to say. There are lots of different reasons that people go out on the trail. Some people didnt really have a huge reason, and some were using it like rehab, most of us were somewhere in the middle.

Being in the band taught me that we have the choice to learn to love people even though you want to punch them in the ass. (laughs)

*A band is what they call the group of kids, they keep boys and girls separate. The bands range in size but aren’t larger than 9 Youngwalkers.

Tell me about the hiking.

It sucks. You hike almost every day for 2 months. But it feels so good when you get to your camp spot and you can take off your 50 pound pack and lay down…on rocks. (laughing) It’s fun when you have a friend. Hiking taught me to push through hard things. Cause when you wanted to give up you couldn’t, or else you wouldn’t get where you needed to go.

Tell me about the pack.

The pack is a pain, emotionally and physically. It’s really heavy and you have to learn to pack it. I’m making this whole experience sound really bad, IT’S GOOD I PROMISE. In my pack I had a sleeping bag, tarp, fire set, food pack, burrito, books, extra clothes, toiletries. It’s heavy as hell.

Ivie’s first week on the trail

*The pack has everything the YW needs for the week, it’s not a traditional hiking backpack like we are used to, they use the things in the pack to actually build it. Everything gets wrapped in the tarp and the straps of the pack are made out of the burrito (the burrito is a canvas cocoon with snaps, they can use it for a million different things!)

Tell me about the food.

It tastes um-not good at first, I’m like why am I eating rice? But by the end you are a gourmet chef. You get really creative with the food pack. I loved Beanie Mac, Ash Cakes with butter and brown sugar, Beans and Rice, Cheesy Beanie Rice and Cold Gold.

*Having experienced Ivie’s cooking at Family Camp I can tell you that she did in fact become a chef. They can make anything out of the food pack ingredients if they put their mind to it! She said that they talked about food a lot on the trail, and she had a list of what she wanted to eat when she came home.

Tell me about making fire.

You make fire with a bow and spindle. Its really hard and frustrating. When you very first make the fire it’s like the coolest feeling in the world. Because you’re like damn I just did that. Once you learn how to you feel like a god! Cause you’re just making fire! And once you make it you dont want to stop.

Tell me about your trail name

A trail name is a name given to you. It represents things that the Trailwalkers see in your personality or things that relate to you. Like an animal, or thing in nature. It speaks to you. I thought it was literally cool, like “Oh wow, you see that in me?” My trail name is Golden Warrior Butterfly. Golden means the I have an essence of light, Warrior means I’m loyal to my friends and family, and Butterfly means that I have the ability to change.

Tell me about the Trailwalkers

The Trailwalkers are really good people. They’re really nice and they treat you like you are their own and they care about you a lot. Some of them are really excited and happy, so you might want to prepare yourself for that. Most of them are really chill. They have different personalities and everyone finds somebody they connect with.

*The trailwalkers walk for a week with the band and then new trailwalkers come in, so the dynamic is always changing but is always full of love. We were able to talk to some of the trailwalkers when they came off after spending the week with Ive. You could feel how much they loved her and it was powerful to hear all of the wonderful things they said about her.

Tell me about your Shadow

Shadow G!! I love that guy. He was my best friend out there. We talked about everything, like, literally you could name anything and I’m positive that we talked about it. I miss him!

What was the hardest part about living on the trail?

Not being able to shower, not seeing my family, hiking everyday, sleeping on the ground and peeing my pants. That sucked really bad.

What was the funnest part about being on the trail?

When we had free days. That was the best! You just got to hang out with everyone and not hike. Cause like, when you’re hiking all the time you dont want to talk. Then youre out of breath and dont want to talk because you have to go slower or stop so you dont make it to your spot. When we had off days you could just sit and talk and get to know everyone.

Do you feel like the trail made you a different person?

Ya, I still pretty much act the same, not the bad stuff though. I dont do that anymore. It made me realize that I didnt need all that stuff I was doing before. It also make me realize that there were people I didnt need in my life. So when I got home I cut all of that stuff out. Oh and not depressed anymore!

If someone has a kid that is struggling and they are worried that their kid will be mad if they go on the trail what would you tell them?

That the kid will probably be mad. (laughs) I’m not going to lie, there were a lot of people out there that were pissed at first. But if you can, don’t Goon them (Goon means you have a transport company pick them up without their knowledge and take them) It makes the kids more pissed and you’re stuck in the woods. I felt so bad for all the people that were taken like that. Tell them in advance that they are going so they can emotionally and mentally prepare.

What advice would you have for kids who’s parents are sending them on the trail?

Suck it up because it’s going to be great. It sucks, it sucks so bad. But it’s worth it in the end. Power through!

What did you learn about yourself?

That I’m pretty cool and I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. You learn a lot about yourself and how strong you are and who you want to become.

Are you glad that you went on the trail?

Yes.

*Teenagers 🙄

How has it been since you’ve been home?

It’s been good. It’s a lot better than it was before. I mean, it is really hard coming home because you cant be around a lot of people, sound or light, I almost had a panic attack when I got home because my entire family was there and it was a lot of people. (laughs) Love you guys missed you, I promise!

How do you feel our family changed after Anasazi?

I feel like we understand each other more. We try to use our tools to get along and I dont know, it just made us all come together.

Isnt she the best?

This video of meeting her on the trail is the most special thing that I own and if it doesnt give you hope then I dont know what will!

View this post on Instagram

WE GOT OUR GIRL BACK! I can’t wait to tell you all about it, but for the moment we’re soaking up all of her light! @iviegubler @anasazifoundation

A post shared by Mandi Gubler | Fearless DIYer (@vintagerevivals) on Nov 1, 2019 at 8:07pm PDT

I thought instead of chiming in with all of my thoughts and making this already long post even longer, that I’d give you guys a change to ask some questions and do a follow up post. So feel free to leave them below!

The post Our Anasazi Experience Pt. 1: Ivie’s Interview appeared first on Vintage Revivals.

Our Anasazi Experience Pt. 1: Ivie’s Interview published first on https://vacuumpalguide.tumblr.com/

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chrisjerimel-blog · 6 years

Text

20 poems

Haiku

Just like a Butterfly

My tears kiss my eyes

For they’re just as scared to leap

As much as I am

Metamorphosis,

In this case,is so painful

Not knowing whether

I transform into

Something priceless or heartless

Is a mystery

If I were…

Changing our planet

If I werein charge in the world

I’d cancel deforestation

Illegal logging ,

Harmful transportation and also

other factors that can damage our environment

If I were in charge of the world

There would be a fresh environment

Cleaner planet and

A greener world

If I were in charge of the world

You wouldn’t have experience pollution

You wouldn’t have experience unclean air

Or to take other chemicals

You wouldn’t even have

To live in a dirty world

If I were in charge of the world

Every thing that we eat would

Be a vegetable.

All chemicals would be vanish

And a person who somethimes

Forgot to clean

And sometimes forgot to be neat

Would not be allowed to be

I charge of the world

When I…

Faith is the only answer

When I hear gossips

When I see chaos

When I feel sadness

When I think of my troubled friend

When I hear death

When I see people in pain

When I feel being hopless

When I think im alone

I will stand up

Acrostic

Feeling Behind Every Strings

Music is his language

Unfolding sound’s beauty is what he does

Speaks only through pipes and strings yet he

Inspires the heart of the weary

Creating beautiful melody

Is the best remedy he can give

A heaven like sensation

No one can compare

Couplets

WAKING UP FROM REALITY

You and I are so near

But I always laid a tear

You and I are forever

Friends to each other

You and I loves each time we spend

Siblings,that’s what we pretend

You and I exchange word of encouregements

Not vows and bounded agreement

You and I forever ,will never come true

Our friendship ,I’ll never threw

Spine Poem

Snow white and the seven dwarves

Snow only falls on winter,yet

White blanket cover my world in summer

And more enjoyed the warmth,only shiver

The life of man was suppose to live with joy

Seven deadly sins should not decay our lives that we’ll became

Dwarves that cant reach our dreams

Life lessons

Conquering the whole world

Iam learning to be independent

And Iam learning to face problems

And Im larning to choose for my self

Not For other’s sake ,when I need to

And Iam learning not to be became nasty

And Iam learning noto to hurt others

And Iam lerning notto lose on my desires

And Iam learning tohave temperance

When iam about to adjust my rage

And iam learning that it’s much better

Much easier to be yourself

Color my world

Artificial Smile

Blue

A berry by the tree

The magnificent summer sky

The wide ocean and sea

The cold breeze in winter

Glass being filled by water

Flames started on stove burner

The cold soda by the store

Marlin cooked as a light dish

Toothpaste that prevent cavities

The glossiness of diamonds

Droplets of the morning dew

The strokes of colors in my starry night

Blue minimizes tension to show the calm heaven

Hold on

Chasing the impossible dream

Hold on to my promise

Hold on to the words I’ve said

Even if you don’t want to hear it

Holdon to my hands ,ill never let go

Even if you will lose faith and let go

Hold on to you dreams ,ill make it come true

Even if you already gave up

Hold on to this last art ill show you

Even if someday it will just fade

Hold on to my heart

Even if you want somebody else ,ill stay to be your friend

Write a list of poem

It is Where I dwell

What is in my bedroom

Bunch of unused clothes

Piles of books scattered on my bed

Pieces of paper taped on the wall

A number of fans that kept on blowing air

Curtains that were curled up

Blankets wwhich is thick,was left lyin around

Bag from the samallest to the largetst size

Were like ornaments,hangednd put on each corner

Mirror that shows from head to toe

Septet

Our world today

Modern friend

Phone rings ,you’re waving

After a long time,you greet

Sweet word that came from your messages

I began to wonder why

As I expected

There’s a plea

Some of my best friends are metaphors poem

Connected not in blood but in bond

He is a friend of stitch

He is a sponge snack lover

He is the simple guy with strong charm

He is also known as princely bookworm

He is the first person that I tell my secrets

He is a stuffed toy that should be cuddled

He is the best clown that I know

He is a cupcake ,who is worth it

He was my friend

He is the best I love

Tanka

Story Behind every shine of a Diamond

Hidden in deep

There is a precious jewel

It is covered with dirt

Still glitters once,it’s polished

Many hunts its beauty

Wihes and fears

My fuss and desire

I am afraid of wild beast

I am afraid of insets

I am afraid that pest will eat me while im sleeping

I am afraid that rats will destroy my clothes

I am even afraid that I will be srronded by annoying animal

I am afraid of getting sick

I am afraid of math

I am afraid I will not pass

I am afraid that I cant attendto school

I am evenafraid of losing knowledge

I want to be free

I want to enjoy life

I want to see a better view

I want to have a clear mind

I even want to have a great future in my life

I want to be rich

I want to enjo luxury

I want to travel around the world

I want to taste every food

And I want to discovey new things but,

Most of all I want to live most of my life with my family

Writer’s affirmation poem

Dedicating my voice to others

Iam worth keeper

I value life

I write letters of friendship and love

I trust more most of other works

I honor the result of those who gave their best

I gave voice to people who cant speake for themselves

I give essence to show life’s value

Iam a vessel of the light

I make things possible though it cannot

I hold to my mother’s hand

Iam a personwith value

I make the world to have value

Bio poem

I wish I can be truly be happy

Like every happy ending in fairytales

And I dream I found it just for a short while

Iam wearing the smiling mask

I used to have it on my face

But now lost it and I cant find it

I seem to be the living in bright world

But I’m really just faking it

I dont understand

Inquisitive

I dont understand

Why are humans are weak on emotions

Why my heart gets hurt

Why my mind is in the chaos

But most of all

Why does pleasure existed with pain

Why does love bloomed with hatred

Why I was brough to earth ,why is that?

What I understand most is

Why I began with my family

Why I encountered bunch of friends

Why I’ll die someday

I used to

Wide awake

Iused to wish to have snow

But now it impossible

I always watch by window to wish a alling star

But I never ound one

I once tried dierent waysto grant my wish

But now I just hope it’ll happen

If I could grant my wish

I would grant other’s aswell

I never want to grant my selfishness

But I might forget

I cant do others ability

But I can be who iam

I wont wish for anything

But I might take it back if I see black

I used to enjoy childhood

But now I ace the real world

I am

Lighting up my star

I am determined to catch my dreams

I wonder why other people are putting down other

I see that I can get want I want

I want to reach my goals

I am determined to cathch my dreams

I pretend to be strong infront of others

I feel weak when ever they are doubting me

I touch my heart to ease the tension

I worry I I cant reach my ambition

I cry when no one is at may back to help me

I pretend to be strong infrront of others

I understand why they are people like that

I say that ‘’Just belive in your self’’

I dream big

I try to find how to reach it easily

I hope that it’ll come true

I am determined to catch my dreams

CONCRETE

A Panda that left such Legacy

They’re

huge in

size like the

grizzly bear

in the forest, feared and left

alone.Des- pite the fer- ocious look

you are a bit peculiar. So I wonder why,

meat is out of your dish but instead you eat

tall, green grass. You give a kind approach

that suits your soft, and cuddly fur. You

are like a kid, playful. I see you

around the bamboos as if

you are carefree. You are a

friend that shows only care,

love. A creature that only

gives joy and happi- ness to others.

An experience with you is not worth human

price. Winter would never- ever come to those

who have seen and appre- ciated its beauty

but I wonder why you suffered

such fate. Blood is flowing in your

land, carcass flooded your home , you’ve gone through

tear flooding era that gave your fellow great horror.

I’m sorry that your citizens died with our selfish desires.

I pity my fellow men for doing such things to your family. But, even

With a sad past, you kept your warm heart, you still opened your door for

Us. You truly are magnificent. A creature that must be honored. I hope we

Humans are like you. Who keeps his forest green and healthy, doesn’t

Allow a single fire burn it- your conscience is clearer than the sky and

The seas. You are a creature that should go and enter heaven. a place

that is worth your life and the things you’ve sacrificed. May we

humans will take care of your existence and the legacy left for us.

You were a true friend that we took advantage of. May

our souls can stay with you again

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sh3ddingvelvet · 7 years

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7-12, and 22-26!

i’ll answer these for chiaki, alistair and ai 💖7- does your oc have any irrational phobias?chiaki’s fear of abandonment isn’t entirely irrational given their past? other than that they have a phobia of dentists !alistair is afraid of spiders and has a lot of fears related to his ocd that are mainly to do with food, how he’s perceived by others, and relationships (mainly them going wrong)ai is scared of tall/intimidating men (which again isnt something id consider to be fully irrational), loud/continuous noises, large groups of people and that other people are secretly making fun of them/talking about them negatively ..

8-how is/was your ocs relationships with their parents ?chiaki was very close with their mother and felt very comfortable with her .. they loved her a lot.. their father was more distant and detached ? he didnt really have the time to spend with them …alistair felt like his mother was too overbearing for a long time but appreciates her now … and his father is more like a friend than his dad ? alistair was mainly raised by his mom but his dad was aroundai loves their parents ! one of them is very intense and forward and no nonsense which can be a bit too much sometimes .. whereas the other is quieter and gentler , but they care a lot about them !

9-does your oc feel a pressure to achieve or are they content and calm with doing what they can at the moment?chiaki just ignores pressure ? they aren’t very motivated when it comes to achieving and prefers to just , take things slow and relaxed … in the past it caused problems with their education but now it’s finealistair feels a lot of pressure socially and with his appearance ? he puts a lot of work into maintaining both but he manages even if he does get very stressed sometimes…ai works very hard for their grades .. they consider studying to be one of the most important things in their life but because theyre so dedicated to it they dont stress too much? they struggle and get stressed when they dont understand things though ..

10-does your oc guard their emotions by being tough? if not how would they?chiaki absolutely does … they act very cold and distant from most people , they dont like letting their guard down easyalistair prefers to act like hes “perfect” and hide anything thats going on ? he acts super polite and composed around most others even if its not how he really feelsai is too nervous to display their emotions but around the few people theyre comfortable with they cant guard emotions well

11-how would your oc react to hearing they’re adopted ?chiaki wouldnt care at all ? it wouldnt change anything for them reallyalistair would probably be a little surprised … but he’d accept it quickly i thinkai would only be upset if it was kept secret from them ? they wouldnt mind otherwise .. as long as their family love them thats all that matters to them

12-what is one of the most primary things your oc feels that is missing from their life ?chiaki is honestly rather content … i feel like they just miss their parents and want to see their sister more ? alistair would want a family i think? theyre stuck between living happily as a young couple with chiaki but part of him definitely wants to settle down with children … maybe move back to france ? but he’s not 100% on it yetai just wants company ? they want friends … please

22-how does your oc usually show affection? are they openly affectionate or more restricted with their affectionate emotions?chiaki is the type to be a little more reserved … they’ll be physically affectionate but not super giggly/smiley with it ? they like doing chores, making dinner, small gestures, to show their partner their affection… and they are rarely super affectionate publicallyalistair is the sort to use classic romantic gestures, lots of gifts, fancy dinners, hotel stays… he’s very traditional and sensual when it comes to expressing affectionai is very physical with their affection and will express affection through cuddling, snuggling, sharing a bed, and sex … in contrast to chiaki theyre super open and giggly and will readily say romantic things… they like making gifts, or picking very personal gifts …

23-does your oc tend to hide something about their personality/essence when meeting new people? if yes, what?chiaki is just generally very cold at first? they hide that theyre very clingy, dependant and submissive . also that theyre a kinky masosub but thats . umalistair tries to act like hes perfect when in reality hes a total airhead who cant cook, cries hysterically at romance films, has a lot of britney choreography completely committed to memory and lived off of take out food for a solid 5 yearsai is too shy to be themself from the beginning … once they relax they start being themself, so i guess for ai its basically … everything ? theyre really nervous

24-how would your oc react if they got humiliated by someone in front of a group of people?chiaki would not let that happen ? theyd come up with some sarcastic comeback or style it off somehow and afterwards just be like “god im upset im going to get my boyfriend to fuck me so im less upset”alistair would probably laugh it off ? to be fair he’s not someone people typically would try to humiliate ? but he would absolutely cry about it afterwards and chiaki would strongly consider taking a temporary break from their pacifism ai would cry hysterically and not be able to handle it at all it’d just be . their worst nightmare, basically . but honestly who would do that theyre so cute and soft why on earth . i feel like other people would rush to comfort them, though, because theyre so delicate ?

25-how would your oc process the grief caused by the death of a loved one?historically speaking for chiaki: Not Very Well . depending on who it was their reaction would range from them going into an extended deeply depressed state or being straight up suicidal themselfalistair would . probably react fairly standardly i feel ? itd be hard and hed suffer but hed probably just cling to friends and loved ones until he became able to cope againai would be really bad at handling it … it would make them very very depressed and theyd just close off even more and just . stop doing things for a while

26-what is the most intense thing your oc has been battling with?chiaki-dependancy and abandonment issuesalistair-ocdai-loneliness and hopelessness

#LONG POST AKSKSJDKS #suicide ment ///#ai #chiaki #alistair #ask

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