#I don't want to be rude I simply do not understand this format
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I still don't know how to have a discussion on Tumblr
I still don't know how to have a discussion on Tumblr
#I still don't know how to have a discussion on Tumblr#Do you thread this shit?#I don't want to be rude I simply do not understand this format#Why is shitposting in the tags?#SHITPOSTING SHOULD BE A GLORY UNTO THE WORLD
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Ask Etiquette
HELLO sorry for the intimidating post lmao, I just need something to toss up on the masterpost because I feel bad deleting asks and then people will never really have an idea of why I never answered them
I get a ton of asks (usually anywhere from 10 - 20 a day!) and I'm not able to get to them all! I try to answer as many as possible but I'm still just one guy. So with that in mind, there are some sorts of asks I will simply not answer, and some 'requests' I have for people who send them in;
Please keep your asks short
PLEASE try not to send me essays if you want a response; I still love reading them! But if you send me walls of text/analysis you are asking me to write a lot in response, which I'd rather spend on actually writing or designing cats.
(On that note if you send a bunch of questions at once, the likelihood I respond goes down.)
Do not send me personal questions
Listen... I'm a stranger on the internet. I'm overjoyed to see when my art connects with people and helps you realize things! But don't ask me sensitive questions like how to move out of your abusive parents' house!! PLEASE learn internet safety and get less comfortable with volunteering that kind of information to people you don't know!
Do not ask me personal questions
you do not need to know what i study or where i work. get less comfortable asking these sorts of questions to queer people on the internet, especially when they talk openly about having previously been abused or stalked.
(not that a person should even need to be as open about that as i am)
If I don't have a good response I won't answer
Especially for suggestions I don't vibe with. I try to only say "No" if I have a particularly interesting "No" to talk about, if that makes sense! If I had to write a full explanation for every veto or idea I don't vibe with, this blog would be 90% what isn't in BB.
No AUs within the AU.
"What if Hawkfrost survived his impalement? What if Firestar never joined? What if Tigerstar was never born?" Listen, buddy, you're creating an exponential distraction for possible ways the story could have gone and I'm not looking to write several essays for the literal hundreds of alternative ways Clan history could have been written. It takes you 5 words to ask "What if X never died" but it takes me paragraphs to answer.
(This isn't about suggestions btw, I very specifically mean ppl asking hypotheticals for fun.)
Don't be rude.
I feel like this should go without saying but please mind the parasocial gap. Especially if you're on anon, I don't know you, your backstory, or your cadence.
And, lastly, CLANMEW ASKS!!
I make a hard effort to get to everyone!! Those are published on Clanmew Day (WHICH IS NOW JUST GOING TO BE THE 30TH OF EVERY MONTH SO THAT IT'S LESS CONFUSING) but PLEASE understand I get a ton of them.
As I write this I have more than 26 tabs open of unanswered Clanmew asks, a lot more in my inbox, and 9 already in the queue. So that you understand the sheer volume of asks I have there.
If I didn't get to you that month, chances are that I'll get to you on the next, but please understand why I ask for folks to not re-send asks
So here's Clanmew-specific requests;
PLEASE just try a translation on your own first!
Don't just send me raw lists of OCs to translate, give it a go first using the Lexicon, just so I can see you tried. I will happily and gladly make more specific words for you when I see you try!
When you send OCs you've translated, ask me for a new word at the end if you didn't already in your list.
Just in case I can't think of a witty comment or a word suggestion, you will help me a lot
Please try to format with lists like this one
Folks will send me double or triple-indented lists and it will take up my entire screen when they've only sent like, 5 names. Remember that posts you send to me go on people's dashes, be considerate please
You can open a list like this by starting a new paragraph, typing -, and then an immediate space. Hold Shift + Enter to indent without adding another bullet.
If you could put "Clanmew" somewhere in your ask, like even if you open up with "Clanmew: Here is my question blah blah," it would help immensely
I physically can't get to every ask I receive on Clanmew Day, so if you have "Clanmew" in your ask somewhere, it makes it a lot easier for me to find it when I can finally answer! I really wish Tumblr had ways to sort asks, but currently, I've just gotta make due with Cntrl + F.
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well what is any blog without rules?
please read to understand my rules of this blog
⁘ You can call me author aina!
⁘ Be patient. I work at my own pace and will upload/update when I am available. I am a uni student so I have limited time.
⁘ Though I write lots of sfw, this would be considered a 18+ blog because some of my works may include nsfw/smut elements and while I say MDNI in my works it is not my responsibility to regulate what you consume.
⁘ Regarding requesting, I may be slow with taking them into consideration, but love to hear your thoughts when you give description of what you want.
I am only interested in writing x reader fics.
If I am taking requests, it will most likely be in the format as headcanons or scenarios. Full flushed out fics are reserved for my own writing ideas but, if I like an idea enough I will write out a whole fic.
I do not mind getting questions or comments asked about me or my stories. However, if you are rude you will go unanswered and possibly blocked. I do not have the time to deal with negative energy.
When requesting, please specify the fandom (see what I write for), character (limit of 3 if asking for multiple) and a premise of plot.
I will not be writing extreme topics (deaddovedonoteat, noncon, ddlg/mdlb, anything considered immoral in societal norms I guess, etc.)
I write best with afab (f!) readers and male character pairings as that is what I am most comfortable with; I will try to make some aspects of gender to be neutral and will specify when I do so.
Race or ethnicity features won't be specifically mentioned as I would like my works to be read by anyone, as yn is you the reader; though bc of my own ethnicity I write with what I look like in mind.
What I write for:
blue lock
genshin impact
ikemen prince
jujutsu kaisen
love & deepspace
record of ragnarok
tears of themis
tokyo revengers
twisted wonderland
list will be updated, this is it for the time being. some fics will be in miscellaneous fic section, just ask, I probably can write for whoever
⁘ I appreciate reblogs and feedback in the comments. Any reaction you felt I would like to hear as it makes me happy to hear discourse among a community. Don't be shy babygirls.
⁘ I do not appreciate reposting my hard written work anywhere without my permission.
⁘ I might reblog other fics or art or anything else I like because I like sharing my interests and if you do not want to see those do not come to me telling me not to do and if you cannot deal with it simply turn off notifs or block me.
⁘ I write in dark mode so that may be best to read in.
-happy reading lovelies (✿◡‿◡)
#aina’s notes#aina’s fics#x reader#aina's rules#multifandom writer#animanga multifandom#tokyo rev#jjk#a date with death#twisted wonderland#genshin#tears of themis#love & deepspace
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sorry if this comes off as rude, but as an aro person. it kind of feels strange that you CONSTANTLY push that aros can be in relationships. just for xvials. like it genuinly makes me uncomfortable as an aro that wants an romantic relationship but feels not attraction. it just feels very like . gross
Ok wow this ask was a lot to take in so please bear with me here as I try to format my thoughts properly-
First of all this doesn't come off as rude, don't worry, but it definitely feels like a stretch though I'm sure this is more misinterpretation… I definitely can say that receiving this didn't feel good in the slightest but that doesn't mean you're being rude.
Secondly, to address what you've actually said, I feel like saying that I talk about partnering aros constantly is a massive exaggeration. And I don't feel like I "push" that aro people can have partners, I simply mention it from time to time and occasionally reblog posts that mention it. I more often than not try to find posts and stuff supporting the entire aro community, I don't seek to zero in on a specific part constantly as all aromantic people are incredibly valid. The reason I have talked about partnering aros specifically in the past is due to the fact that I notice a lot of erasure towards that part of the community, not because I see them as more valid or because they justify shipping.
Thirdly, on that note, I don't talk about these things just for Xvials??? I would never talk about any part of queerness just to push a ship. That's, as you said, incredibly gross and disgusting and objectifying identities and experiences like that is wrong. Xvials is simply a
fictional example of two aro people potentially being together, it's not and would never be the sole reason for me speaking out about an identity.
I'm genuinely sorry if you ever felt that I was doing that in some way, I'd be wildly uncomfortable if I was in your position as well. I just never perceived my behavior as coming off that way and would never intentionally do that. If there's any behavior in particular I can/should stop/change, let me know because I never want to send this kind of message.
I'll be entirely honest, I've been anxious to answer this because I'm afraid people won't understand that I'm genuine in what I say and will assume I'm just being performative, especially when it's something as serious as this- I have several posts queued up for tomorrow specifically supporting and shouting out non-partnering aros and I don't want people to think that I only reblogged those things just to cover my own ass or something- pardon that tangent I just figured I'd say that.
I don't really know how to close this off properly and I don't want to invalidate your feelings or come off as too defensive, I just genuinely didn't intend to come off this way and feel like parts of your statement are slightly exaggerated.. I hope you understand.
Edit: ok so this was a very customer-service-y and vaguely dismissive response which I am not proud of. Better response here, it covers the situation in the detail it deserves.
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
- [ ]
this is an extremely loaded question aimed at getting me to admit something about the role of biological sex in sexual attraction. but i will take you in good faith and try to answer your question (under the cut, since the horrid way you formatted this ask makes it long enough already) because i have some time to waste on this sunday morning.
firstly, i have never believed and never will believe sexuality to be an innate attraction or orientation: i don't think anyone is born heterosexual or homosexual, but i also don't believe everyone is born bisexual and gradually loses attraction to one gender over another. i don't see the point in doing sexuality metaphysics, i find it to be a pointless exercise in respectability at best and a means for systematic eradication at worst: if i say we're not born gay a homophobe can then say "stop being gay/pray the gay away", if i say we are born gay a homophobe can then say "let's find the gene that causes homosexuality and eradicate it". simply put, i don't think the question of why someone is homosexual (or bisexual or heterosexual, for that matter) is ever worth entertaining, because it does nothing to further the liberation of the gay people that exist here and now, and it only gives ammunition to those who want to stop the spread and existence of gay people altogether.
i believe sexuality to be socially constructed, much like gender and much like everything else in our lived reality: every single interaction we have in our lives with other people shapes us irrevocably, from our parents to our teachers and classmates to the rude cashier at the store to the creepy guy following us down the street to our potential sexual prospects, and the way all those elements interweave in the rich and ever-changing tapestry of our lives is ultimately what creates our personhood, included in which is our sexuality and our gender. we use labels to simplify and streamline and help communicate to others our complex sexual and romantic preferences, sacrificing some nuance in the process: if i say i am a lesbian it could mean anything from "i have never thought about men sexually a day in my life" to "i understand and even sometimes feel attraction to men but choose not to act on it because i only want to date women", but the ultimate message that comes across is the unavailability to men and availability to women, which is what is important to the lesbian-identifying speaker (the same goes for gay men, bisexuals and heterosexuals, but i can obviously give more accurate examples as far as the lesbian experience is concerned).
you mention the animal kingdom, which is interesting: sexual behaviour of males on males and females on females is common or at least observed in many animal species, but this is not homosexuality or bisexuality, because the animals themselves don't put any sort of label to it, they simply enact their sexual instincts in whichever way they see fit (the nuances of this obviously vary from species to species, there are animals that mate with hundreds of their kind and animals that only mate with one for their whole life). i was going to have a whole section here going into the supposed differences between humans and animals and explaining why homosexuality is a human prerogative as far as we know, but i don't think this is all that relevant: ultimately, humans are the only ones who have, through complex historical and social developments, come up with words to describe sexual and romantic categories, and for whom these categories matter in the context of systematic oppression and liberation. is the lion who wants to roll around in the savannah grass with another lion instead of a lioness a homosexual? no, because there is no language for homosexuality in lion society, and there is no hierarchy systematically depriving lions who don't like lionesses of their rights, or vice versa.
going back to your original question of what about the same gender attracts a homosexual that is not found in the other gender: it is very much a combination of factors, including the ones you dismissed as "impossible", so i am going to try to walk you through it. i believe everyone has an aesthetic judgement of other people, and that includes immediate aesthetic attraction: i can see someone who i read as a beautiful man or someone i read as an ugly woman, and this is all to do with my aesthetic tastes and very little to do with my sexual attraction to men or women. the attraction comes into play then, when i consider the whole of a person's demeanour: a woman i may find very beautiful might be extremely feminine or extremely masculine, and that will not attract me because i am not really attracted to hyperfeminine or hypermasculine women; a woman i don't find beautiful may have a gender presentation i resonate with and find attractive, and that will make me attracted to her.
obviously, though, my immediate read of a situation isn't always accurate: i might see a butch woman i find very attractive and then find out she's actually a man (maybe he's trans, very often he's just a cis guy with facial traits i instinctively read as female), and while i will still find him very aesthetically beautiful i am aware that he is off my plate and as such i am no longer attracted to him or i don't consider him a potential sexual partner anymore; vice versa, if i see a very beautiful man i am not attracted to and then find out he's actually a woman (maybe she's trans, maybe she's a cis woman with facial features i instinctively read as male), it doesn't mean i am instantly attracted to her, but she is now suddenly on my plate, so i am more likely to develop an attraction to her or consider her a potential sexual partner.
of course, we can't deny the presence of biological sex in this context: some people are exclusively attracted to cis male bodies, and some only to cis female bodies (this is a generalization of course, as no two cis bodies look the same, but it is a generalization that some people do make and so it is important to acknowledge it). i believe this is a preference worth unpacking and interrogating, because it is a product of our society just like every other part of our identity, and our society is a transphobic one: am i organically repulsed by penises or vulvas or breasts or flat chests, or is this a repulsion i feel towards a perceived mismatch between sex and gender that society has told me shouldn't exist? to be clear, this isn't just about transgenderism, but it applies to many preferences, especially the ones that reflect a social disparity: attraction to whiteness or thinness, to name two off the top of my head, need to be similarly deconstructed, which doesn't mean giving up any and all preferences one might have, but simply understanding what implicit biases lie below what may seem to us as a harmless preference. and of course, it goes without saying that our sexual preferences, however harmless or harmful, shouldn't impact other people's right to exist in their bodies as they best see fit, nor should they impact the level of respect we show others.
ultimately, it is important to remember that everything in us is dictated by the world we live in: i currently navigate the world as a homosexual woman, for whom attraction to other homosexual women is very important. i don't wholly feel comfortable in my occupying the category of woman: i know that i can transition and start navigating the world as a heterosexual man, but that would remove homosexual women from my potential sexual partners and introduce heterosexual women, and this would cause me a lot of discomfort, so i choose to shoulder the lesser discomfort of being a homosexual woman as opposed to the major discomfort of being a heterosexual man. sociosexual labels allow me to simplify and simulate a process of interaction with the world in a manner other than what i am used to experiencing: within my private life i don't have to be a woman or a man or any social category for that matter, but in a social context where such labels are important if not required i try to strike a balance of the things that will make me most comfortable interacting with others or that will bring me closest to my inner self-perception, a balance that is eternally in flux and in change as the way i move through the world evolves.
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So uh this is prob gonna come off as rude. but like, I understand that Marinette has done a lot (and I mean a lot) of questionable things. But like, she’s well-meaning and always apologizes in the end once she realizes the flaw in her actions and the ppl who it has hurt??? Yes, she shouldn’t have done a lot of things that she did, but 1) when she attempted to break in to Adrien’s house (again not at all okay, but maybe if the firefighter had done his job and told her off, it wouldn’t have happened at all) she was genuinely concerned about Adrien’s safety because she didn’t know how far Lila would go yet. And when she sent the video confessing on the same day Adrien’s mother died, she acknowledged this was an awful idea (“today is the worst day to do it, Tikki!”) but Tikki had convinced her otherwise. So again, not intentionally hurtful.
I just think that if you’re gonna give Marinette a lot of flack for the mistakes she made and learned from and made up for, you could at least acknowledge the stuff Adrien has done, didn’t learn from, and didn’t make up for (sexual harassment (and assault), enabling, etc, etc.)
You’ll probably ignore this but I just wanted to throw that out there.
Honestly if you want to see blogs where Adrien's shortcomings are acknowledged than you should just search the Adrien salt tag. I do think most of the blogs are dogshit because they flanderize the worst parts of Adrien to the extreme in an obsessed desire to circle jerk about why they hate him so much, but they do feature that kind of stuff if you feel like that its a problem you have with Adrien. I could try to compromise and include this stuff, but I don't want to, mainly because that would compromise on the prompts I make focusing on Marinette.
On that note, I want to go on record and say that I made this blog because aside from my personal hatred of this character, I did as a "fuck you" to all the adrien salt blogs where there are millions of posts about how he's a sexual stalker (even though I think its complete dogshit and those blogs only came about because of Adrien's high road comment from oblivio because "OH HE DIDNT IMMEDIATELY SIDE WITH MARINETTE SO HES BAD") but never a single post about why Marinette is also a shite character.
I made this blog specifically for that reason. To make posts about Marinette and her bullshit in the same salty format people do for Adrien, though admittedly even I failed to make the characters as OOC as other salters have done. So pardon me if I didnt want to make posts about Adrien, there are enough of those already.
And to counter you post saying that Marinette is "well meaning", let me say this:
Marinette has been a creepy stalker type character since her first episode. She had a planner tracking Adrien's every move (which was then hastily retconned 4 seasons later when it was pointed out as being a planner for all her friends) and has made multiple plans to try and seduce (or woo) him without so much care for his actual input in the matter, yet cant for the life of day simply ask him out. On that note, she would often go out of her way to prevent other girls from being with him, and even though some were rat bastards like Lila, it sure as hell wasn't care for her friend that inspired her to slander Lila in front of Adrien as Ladybug, causing her to cry and run away in Volpina. It got to a point where Marinette's desire to try and romance Adrien actively fucked over other characters, such as Juleka in Reflekdoll and the boys party in Party Crasher. She didn't HAVE to break into his house in Oni-Chan as she could have called him (or ask Nino if she could call Adrien) and warned him about Lila, but no she did it her way because fuck the rules when Marinette wants Adrien.
No I do not care season 5 is out, they are only stopping it so we can have some fake reverse love square drama bullshit that will be undone by the end of the season I SWEAR ON IT.
Even putting that aside, Marinette is also just a shite hero. Aside from some moral obligation to be a hero and being smart, there's nothing about her that remotely heroic, and most times fucks things up whenever the villains even get a single brain cell since most normal akumas are morons. She relies on others to help her win fights yet can be fucked to try and trust others and make the team work beyond demanding people to be her meatshields, to the point where even her partner that she worked with for 3+ years was getting fed up with it. Yet the second she messed up and cant rely on someone to save her sorry ass from a mess up, all she can do is cry like a bitch as some villain makes off with the entire miracle box. 3 years of hero experience and she ends up crying like a bitch.
But it doesnt matter anyway because everyone loves Marinette so much that they easily forgive her alter ego despite her MAJOR FUCK UP. Everyone in the show is obsessed with Marinette and Ladybug, to the point where they are even obsessed with her getting together with the supposed boy of her dreams, EVEN HER FUCKING EX WHO SHE BASICALLY GHOSTED FOR HALF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. As Ladybug its even worse as everyone is so happy and trusting to her (minus the villains) despite the fact she failed for 3 years to catch the one dude making all the butterflies, not because she was bad, but because she didnt try tracking him down, only confronting him when the villain himself stuck out his neck and got greedy.
I could talk about other stuff I dislike about her, but im just gonna sum it up and say that she's a Mary Sue in a world where there's no main protagonist to replace. If any other character was the main hero, she would be that character in a SI fanfic that ends up overtaking the main hero with her bullshit powers. THERE I SAID IT
On that note, im not changing my mind about how I feel about Marinette despite how much EVERYONE ELSE in the fandom wants to coddle her, and if you wanted Adrien salt in a MARINETTE SALT BLOG you should just look somewhere else. Also I didn't ignore your post so there's that I suppose.
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Thank you so much for the updates on mileapos schedule! And I hope I'm not being rude but could you maybe make it it's own post instead of continuing to update the post about the live?
Hi Nonnie! Awwww, it's entirely my pleasure! And no, I understand you completely. TBH, if you saw my tags on a previous reblog of the post with the schedule, I'm not entirely happy with this either. I simply didn't mean to update. I meant to post the schedule once, and that's it. I also wasn't thinking of making it into a regular thing... It was supposed to be one time, for September, because this month seemed to be more packed than usual.
But on top of that, this month they just kept getting things added to their schedule at a frequency that I don't remember from previous months. I also had someone explicitly asking me to update because they'll be in Bangkok in Sep, and they wanted to know whether there'd be a chance for them to see Mileapo. So, that's why we got to the point we're at, dealing with these unexpected updates in this very uncomfortable format.
I'm not sure l'll do this in the future (is there even an interest in such updates?) but if so, I WILL make a separate post, so that updates wouldn't be such a hassle. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience and I do hope that you understand! Have a great day. xoxox (for all of my Mileapo/Kinnporsche content, click here)
#ask#anon ask#mileapo#mkp#mile phakphum#mile phakphum romsaithong#phakphum romsaithong#apo nattawin#apo nattawin wattanagitiphat#nattawin wattanagitiphat#man suang#man suang cast#kinnporsche#kinnporsche cast#kinnporsche the cast#kpts cast#kpts the cast
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Are you yourself neurodivergent? I hope I’m not being rude but that’s the feeling I get from your attention to detail, your intense focus and repetition, and lack of concern over your anon’s feelings—meaning you don’t do the labor of “I understand why you might disagree” or validating their points of view, you merely tell them they’re wrong without concern for appearing condescending or robotic. These things ping my ND radar, as someone diagnosed as an adult as autistic. I hope the question doesn’t bother or offend you.
Oh anon - I'm dyspraxic - I may be autistic. I don't know that it matters.
But what I notice most about this ask is that it suggests that you have come to give a lot of meaning to writing decisions such as repetition, specificity and focusing on facts. And I want to make sure that you, and anyone reading this knows that those are perfectly all useful modes of writing. There is no obligation to operate in any other way (although in some circumstances other mdoes of operation will be more effective).
From my perspective whether to repeat myself, how to address anons and how much detail I go in are all choices that I make that reflect my goals in writing, mostly about politics, but not entirely. I thought I'd explain why I made those choices in this example, partly because I think it's interesting and partly to emphasise that this is a choice.
Repeating an idea in its very simplest formation is a very effective form of political communication, which is appropriate when you have a single idea that you want to get across. It's not the only form of political communication - exploring complexities and taking people on a journey can also be very effective. But if you have a message that you can express simply, repeating it over and over again will be a very effective way of writing (it's one of Owen Jones's real strengths as a political communicator). It's not normally what I do here - in general I'm more interested in exploring ideas. But it is a tool that I have and choose to deploy.
Likewise I'm a big believer in well deployed specificity/detail to making an argument. I'm not someone who pays a lot of attention to detail in most areas of my life, but I know how to find details and I'm interested in figuring out how to deploy them to communicate.
Then, I think most importantly, there's the question of 'lack of concern over my anons feelings'. I'm worried by the implication that concern over other people's feelings is something that you're obliged to not just do, but be seen to be doing, all the time. And I want to present an alternative - where engaging with the emotions of anyone (but particularly those who are sending you messages anonymously) is a choice.
There are two key questions that I consider when deciding whether to respond primarily to the ideas in an anon, or whether to try and address their feelings as well. The first is what they say - if someone talks about or presents their emotions to me, then I'll tend to engage on those terms (and you can find plenty of examples of me answering anons that way). If they don't then I'll tend to respond based on what I want to say and how I want to say it
It's very much a conscious decision not to validate the views of anons that say things like "What i would give to get in on the Zoom calls Harry has with Linda from HR where he tells her the newest sound engineer hire must be a middle aged white guy. The casual way in which you classify Harry a racist, based off of one single photo, is dissapoiting to say the least." I don't think the view that employers are only responsible for discrimination in their organisation if they explicitly order it to happen is valid. My whole purpose in replying to that anon was to do a little bit to devalidate that worldview.
In other forms of communication there'll be at least one other factor - and that's the relationship. If you want to maintain and build a relationship with someone, addressing their feelings is an important part of that. And if you're trying to change the mind of someone you're talking to, then starting from the basis of a relationship is a really good tactic. But I don't have a relationship with most anons - except those who give themselves a name and come back.
There's heaps more I could say about answering anons as a form of communication, but the point I want to make here - is the legitimacy of making choices and using a wide variety of strategies - for everyone - no matter how our brains work.
#I really worry#if people are told they have to pay attention to the other people's feelings#and validate their views#in every interaction#I hope that you haven't received that message#anon#either explicitly or implicitly
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Letter to my past best friend/myself:
I REALLY really miss you. I honestly have seen too much from you in too short of a timeframe and I don't feel like there’s a point in trying to talk things out with you due to past experiences and things that have been said. I need a break, especially at this vulnerable time. I don't know if you remember how badly that last conversation we had in September went or what you said but it took so much for you to just acknowledge that you hurt me and were still trying to tell me that you still thought what i said was irrelevant and that I was telling you not to say your opinion?. I felt like this past incident in November was too much and just so hurtful and the final straw for me. It truly sucks and it’s extremely disappointing. If you really want to know i'll tell you but you already said you don’t want to text or talk on the phone and I am simply not up for talking to you in person in any format anymore after some of the shock went down. We both got to say our piece that morning after you sent me those 20 something messages I woke up to. It might be best to just leave it at we dont talk anymore. I miss you and I really miss how things used to be but Im tired of being hurt by you and Im not at the point where I can be around you. The fact that we’re even at a point where we need a mediator is drastic and not because of anything I’ve done or could’ve prevented and for me to even realize that is big because im VERY hard on myself. I shouldnt have said that that was considerate of you to bring up because I wanted to keep the peace. The reason we even need a mediator is bcause of your inconsideration.
I almost wish I did have the energy to dive into this with the mediator to get this all out and have you actually be forced to hear me out and I would hope maybe you didn't actually mean some of the hurtful things you've said over the past few months. I’d love for a mediator to just read through the texts as it really speaks for itself. This isn’t even everything but the incidents in September and November were definitely the worst of the condescension. There is an overwhelming amount of stuff we’d have to talk about. It’s just too much. I’ve tried and I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I feel like it was a waste of time and hurt again.
Firstly, I don’t like the way you talk to me, especially this whole entire last interaction. It’s condescending. You can be very domineering and overbearing during conversations.
When you brought up again in those texts you sent me on Wednesday morning that points I brought up in the conversation were not relevant and not to the point AGAIN that hurt and confirmed to me that you weren’t actually sorry that first time we talked about that wording being hurtful and dismissive in September. Right after we moved in. That’s why your apology that first day we talked made me feel weird and not good. I knew you were sorry that you hurt me but I felt you didn’t understand get why because of everything you said before finally just saying “sorry I hurt you”. That day we also talked about how me shutting down your pointing at people hurt you. I immediately just apologized because I could see how that was hurtful. I didn’t defend why I did it. I gave some backstory that to me pointing at strangers and especially babies is rude to maybe give you some understanding as to why I instinctively did that, but I apologized first because the bigger point that matters was that I hurt you. You didn’t do that for me. I apologized, explained, and then repeated the apology and acknowledged that I understood why that would hurt and said it won’t happen again. It is rude to tell someone what they’re saying is irrelevant and pointless. Granted you didn’t say it as dismissively this time as you did that day but it’s still rude. If I’m bringing something up it’s obviously because I feel it has a place in the conversation and it’s because something hurt me.
That’s why I’d never say anything like that to you. It’s rude and you REALLY hurt my feelings. It was a great example of you speaking for me and legit twisting my words around. That was not miscommunication. I thought you knew my personality well enough to know I would never tell you to just not share your opinion. Your opinion is not my opinion. I respect yours. Don’t shut mine down and dismiss me. So a part of me just didn’t believe you’ll understand why I’m hurt, and that being misunderstood after taking the time to talk in person, will just hurt worse like last time. I think I’m still hurt because it was a lot and your tone was a lot but when we talk about it you refer to it as me feeling ‘something personal’ about it like its something I brought on to myself. You saying that it was me feeling something personal and that you didnt feel anything personal about it, makes it seem like youre not processing that you were just being mean and aggressive with me. You were being hurtful and condescending. I felt hurt by you and the way you were talking to me, it’’s not “something personal” its just a normal reaction to someone being rude and hurtful. I still don’t know if you understand how rude that whole thing was because of how you were still talking to me the next day insinuating that I was overreacting and that I could say the same rude things to you defending your point. That’s not understanding, it’s condescending. That’s part why I’ve been distant with you. I don’t feel as close to you anymore and I don’t feel like you’re as non judgmental as you think you are. You have been a good friend and part of my distance is me just going through personal stuff. Sometimes when I try to share you don’t take it well and it makes me hesitant. You can be VERY abrasive. It doesn’t create a condusive environment for others to share their opinions or create room for conversation and sharing.
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Please use the “read more” function when you post your fics.
This is nothing to do with the content, but it’s long and clogs up the tag and is annoying.
Dear Anon,
I'm going to start this with a simple question.
Have you read my blog rules? Because I don't think you have. Here. Here's the Link. It'll also introduce myself to you if you need
Link
Go read those and please rethink your next words to me. Specifically rule #3. If you can't be nice in your words please refrain from saying them. I understand your request but you very well could've been at least NICE about it. For example:
"Hello! I just wanted to ask if you'd consider putting in a " read more" function for your fics. Especially when they get pretty long. It makes it easier to read and I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!"
Or something like that. I don't want you to suck up or anything but goodness gracious great balls of fire you're one snarky ass anonymous.
Another thing, you could very well be an adamant writer with hundreds of followers that could tear me to shreds if they wished, BUT I don't know this so I'm just going to say:
If it's not about the content and you're not at least careful with your wording in your advice, then. Fuck. Off. I don't have time for rude and judgemental content like this in my inbox.
Think before you type Anon. And if you call me a hypocrite for my harsh words to you, keep in mind I can very easily take off Anonymity. I am a nice person, but do not poke a sleeping bear Anon.
For further advice to you
Do NOT say how I format my work annoying. I work hard on this and I don't have to take SHIT from you.
Thank you for your time. Your request is understood and I will keep it in mind for the foreseeable future.
It is a good ask and I appreciate the concern but be nice or fuck off.
Vick 💙
P.S. there's an automatic "Expand" thing already so if you've got a complete unfaltering issue with this then don't hit Expand. Simply don't read my content if its that annoying to you. Again I say, BE NICE
#Lovely Thoughts with Vick 💙#anon answered#rude anon#lovely thoughts with vick💙#lovely thoughts with vick 💙#I don't know why it won't let me delete tags#Ignore the last 2 lovely thoughts#have a nice day everyone#remember to be nice to your content creators#And writers#We spend days writing for your enjoyment#Editing and deleting#Just for you all 🤗
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Input warrants out on bja Trump and Company right now so sick of them telling him and sticking to him like glue I don't want him doing that I'm also going to redo a suit and reintroduce it to punta Gorda on Johnny Lord and others and sue them for whatever assets they have and take it all and any aliases listed that he and that stuff will be ours because he's an incessant pain in the neck and he deserves to be in jail cuz he was put in jail isn't belong free he belongs in jail this is a snickering senile people should lose lawsuits and pay up not running around being annoying as hell and get away with it so I'm going to put them away I'm going to do it today I'm going to issue the APB now and what a format they're in they're going to get arrested
We're going to also supplement Max forest and we're going to come in the rest of ourselves it's like you said Jen was sitting there for years and so was mop nobody did anything.
So far the max have kept them out of DC and from taking control and they're not taking control of derry either. I'm going to make sure that they're not going to take over the East Coast but we're going to use it I'm going to pull everything out while they're having fun with our son as I say I'm going after them now here in punta Gorda and pulling out all the offenders with a sense of rude email to the government or whether they're doing illegal activities of any kind.
I'm calling for so many Italians they need assistance and I'm requesting them now people are obnoxious as hell and they're idiots they lose all their stuff and don't care it was all their territories and don't care the regions are all done and they don't care so we're going to apply more pressure and see if they care about it
The city is here doesn't know that she broke the law already and she can get arrested for what she just already done because he's a DOD VIP
About 3, 000 septillion heading north right now 4,000 septillion died this morning up North and there are about 20,000 septillion headed towards the Blue ridge mountain settlement 5000 septillion died on the Blue ridge mountain settlement already and it was Tommy Allen's man and women and it's because he opened his big mouth it's a war going on up there between Mac and corks and warlock and the Mohawks started it because they are uncouth and don't have any idea of what they're talking about and ask for it all the time.
The town of Derry is inundated with both no there's a few in there and they're being torn apart and they're fighting on the outside and nobody's going to make it anywhere with anything today it's almost full it's at 95% Kat von D's house is moving today up there as is a few others of note and it might be West point stay too because Corky's invading and he's an idiot and Tommy favino will use him as usual.
I have lawsuits against 3/4 of the people in punta Gorda Florida and we have to settle some of these and get him money from them and have the court do it if they don't do it this court will simply apprehend them and after a time will be annoyed because everyone keeps popping out of prison it's a good idea our son says and Thor Freya it's absolutely necessary to do right now so he's going to sign extra assistance. About 10,000 people that are running around saying they're going after our son gunning for him we need assistance we need people in here and we need assassins right now his own cadre is sending in 10,000 and we understand that they're operators we'll see how they do and their orders are to name kill and bring in and we think head intact we have to read it each individual will make me different. Who about 550,000 people trying to get into punta Gorda right now I'm putting APB in those three right now too for trying to mess with his bike and they'll be apprehended shortly so sick of these people.
The lawsuits range in value from $50 to $5, 000 to $50,000 and we're going to obtain the funds from them or assets today all of them and if they don't hand it over we go grab it and if they try and resist we get rid of people and we get it to the court and they can hold it in there a lot they can deal with them they come in and steal it all night that's the Court's problem they're going to go get retrieve it because the court needs to be looked at as powerful cuz they want to do something to our son it's a matter of being really cheap and really stupid these people have no program left the blew out of the water in the first few days.
Tell me if it's running around breathing fire as well and guess what we're saying so he's going to try and enforce the law a little you say you haven't paid up did you turn on reason you have to do your job and said oh why do that it's better than dying from red tide or you know other crap. He agrees and so does Mac it's a pile of losers here I think everything's for them because they're jerks
I'm issuing those lawsuits now we won the losses but they failed to pay up and says it's so within so many days you can reissue the lawsuit I'm going to request it assets and at the court handles liquidating and the transferring funds and that they can retain any excess funds they agree too usually
Bitol and Goddess Wife
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Hey this is the anon who asked about Harry sleeping with fans. Firstly thank you so much for your kind answer I'm so glad my ask didn't offend you. I've spoken to a lot of Larries in the past who have just been plain rude even when I asked them a simple question. But I do know there are also Larries who are not like that and have been really nice so I know not all Larries are like that! Second of all I would love to know more about Larry and accept your offer in showing and telling me more about them. I don't know if it will turn me into a Larrie because of it but it doesn't mean I don't want to know more. I may be a neutral but I do believe that the women Harry has been involved with are and were all stunts because I know how much Harry values his privacy. I may not know him personally but I do believe he is very private which is why I don't believe he actually dated Taylor, Camille, Kendall, Olivia etc...they were all anything but private. I actually believe the chances of Larry being real is WAY higher than the chances of those stunts being real. There have been quite a few moments where Larries have pointed out things that linked to the possibilities of Harry and Louis being together where I also felt that Larry may be real. However of course I don't know Harry or Louis personally so I can't be 100% sure they are together hence why I am a neutral and not a Larrie but like I said before, IF and/or WHEN Harry and Louis confirm being together I will definitely support them. I love One Direction (especially Harry) so much that as long as they're happy I am happy. If Harry is happy with Louis then that's all that matters to me. His happiness means everything to me. Seeing him smile brings a smile to my face and if Louis is the reason for that smile then I'm all for supporting them and their relationship. Anyway yes I'd love to know more about Larry and why some Larries feel like Harry hooking up with fans are not true! Also your other followers are more than welcome to provide any information to the question too if they believe Harry hooking up with fans is not true but thank you in advance and I can't wait to find out more😁 also I know I'm late (I'm new to your blog) but Happy Birthday and I hope you had a wonderful one💞
Hello dear!
thanks for coming back. there are definitely some larrie blogs out there that can be on the offensive right away, and sometimes overly harsh. i'm not excusing people being mean but i think it's important to understand the context of how often we are attacked in this fandom. so people tend to be defensive right off the bat. larries have been the official punching of 1dhq and the 1d fandom for ten years. but even though it's easy to go on the attack right away, a lot of us still try to help outsiders who are simply curious!
loving harry and wanting him to be happy (along with all the 1d boys) is what's most important. and you can do that without being too deep in the fandom! so as long as you'd support harry when he does eventually come out, that's all i care about.
however, if you WOULD like to learn about Larry. there is a whole wealth of craziness, love, happiness, pain, heartache, and joy waiting for you along with a way to more deeply understand your faves and the art they create. Larry makes 1d's music along with Louis' and Harry's solo stuff come to life for me! once i learned about Larry, it's like everything clicked into place and i suddenly understood why i loved harry and louis as much as i do. it has made being a fan so fun and so joyful.
that being said, if you do want to take the time to actually determine for yourself if you think Larry is real or not i will first point you in the direction of @cosmicleeds amazing video timelines on youtube. i find video format really great for learning all the information for the first time so that you can decide if you want to keep digging on your own. they have compiled all the most pressing evidence of Larry into a chronological format that you can watch in bed on a holiday weekend. it is truly *chef's kiss*. they don't give any fake or debunked proofs and it is far more information heavy than the cute moments compilations you've likely already seen on youtube.
you have to do some pausing and reading while you watch them but significantly less reading than if you got all this info from masterposts. give it at least the first few yearly timeline videos before deciding whether you want to know more or not. but i guarantee you, anyone who watches every year of these timeline videos from 2010 to 2020 will find it impossible to not believe in Larry.
youtube
2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, and the other years can be found on their channel.
you can also check out my side blog @pegging1d if you want to do some scrolling through masterposts. i've tried to only collect some of the most vital larrie primer stuff there specifically for newbies. think of it as a blog of larrie basics. i've got a tagging system there that you can look through if you like. like i said before, larries are essentially nerds who are also romantics.
just like you, we only love to see harry and louis smile and be happy. we all became larries when we realized that they made each other so! <3
thanks for the birthday wishes as well! :) if you need anything else dear please don't hesitate to come back. i'd love to hear how you fare with those timeline videos even if you remain neutral.
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Hi! I found your post and, if it's okay to you, I'd like to send a request! My request is maybe a bit "unusual", so feel free to tell me if you don't like it! It's a Matthias/Female Y/N but... platonic instead of romantic. I'd love to see a cute friendship. This the situation: "After a year, Matthias meets the young doctor who saved his life and, this time, it's his turn to save her." Thank you so much, free to tell if you want me to change it!
Summary: 1 year ago Matthias made friends with the doctor, who saved his life. Now it’s his turn to save yours.
Pairing: platonic! Matthias Helvar x doctor/physician, fem! Reader
Warning: not edited
Wordcount: 3.4k
A/N: I’m very sorry it took so long and it’s probably not exactly what you’ve wished for, but I hope you still enjoy it! The cursive parts play in the past.
Wandering through the woods with his drüskelle, Matthias wondered why sticks and stones felt eerie familiar to him. The young man couldn’t remember having ever roamed these woods. The ground was covered in leaves, bushes and stones, white and brown trees all looked the same to him. A forest was a forest, there was nothing special to it.
But why did he feel like he had been here before? Passing trees, bigger and smaller rocks felt so familiar to him. Was it possible to know and remember these kinds of things? Woods looked the same after all – they were full of dirt, leaf covered grounds, shrubs, stones, trees and other flora. There was nothing striking about forests, especially not this one.
But why did Matthias know this specific tree, and this certain rock formation?
Had he been here before?
“Stop daydreaming, Helvar,” one of his pals called to him, acting as if he was ranked higher or older. But they were all roughly the same age. Young, slightly unexperienced – some more than others – drüskelle, wandering these woods. “Hurry up.”
Matthias didn’t question it when they got ordered to split in two. Scattering into smaller groups was more effective than looking for witches in a big batch. And after all witches where the reason why they were roaming this strip of land.
Witches were always the reason.
He got paired up with a boy roughly his age, maybe 1 or 2 years younger, Matthias couldn’t really tell. They both stepped through the woods, careful to not make any major telling sounds like the infamous crushing branches with the weight of their bodies. His younger drüskelle ambitiously looked for any sign of the godless enemy - or just a sign between all this greens and browns in general - while Matthias couldn’t escape the haunting feeling of having roamed these corners before. Could he really distinguish mossy trees and stones?
Didn’t they all look the same?
But then why told him his brain that he knew this place without further clue?
„Drüsje!“ Matthias heard the young boy cry, following his cracked voice with big, fast steps.
It was cold and yet he was sweating so much. Was it even sweat? Matthias didn’t know but his hands felt awfully wet and sticky. His body hurt but what bothered him more was his itching dry throat, making it impossible for him to utter any coherent words. “I need you to talk to me,” someone said and all he knew was, that it wasn’t one of his comrades.
He felt pressure on his body but couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
What happened?
Matthias didn’t know.
But he tried to talk but all that came out were dusty mumbles, lips sticking together. It didn’t feel like talking but the voice encouraged him to go on. “You need to get out of here,” he heard. “This might hurt a little.”
It didn’t hurt a little. It hurt a lot.
Pain washed through him, and he didn’t know he was able to, but he screamed. Matthias couldn’t tell what was happening exactly, all he felt was pain. A long, torturous stab went through his body, he just couldn’t tell where or why, or how it happened.
It just hurt.
He didn’t know until he saw you, pinned to the ground by the knees of his comrade, telling him that he had indeed found a witch. “I’m not a witch!” You cried at him, trying to toss and turn around but the young drüskelle kept you steady on the forest ground.
“I found her in the bushes,” he told him in Fjerdan. At first it had looked like the young boy had the upper hand, pressing you effortless to the ground with everything he had learned Djerholm. But Matthias could hear by the slight shake in his voice and the change of breathing that it wasn’t as easy as it looked to keep you pressed against the ground. “She keeps claiming that she isn’t a witch, but I know one when I see one!”
Matthias should say something, he knew that. But he couldn’t do anything else but stare at you, while parts of his memory began to unfold. He had been here. But how long had it been? He remembered the cold wind, pain everywhere and your voice telling him that he needed to get out of the woods.
“I am not a witch!” You hissed at him. Matthias remembered that you told him the same when he woke up in your house and accused you of using healing powers. He knew that not all Ravkans were able to craft magic.
But one: You never knew.
And two: A witch would tell you that she isn’t one, right?
When the young drüskelle ignored you to inform Matthias further on you being a drüsje, you spit at him. Both surprised and disgusted he hit you with his elbow before wiping it off. Matthias couldn’t stand it but halted when he almost ordered for him to stop. You needed his helped. He owed you. It was the least he could do after you saved his life. But it would be too suspicious of him to simply stop one from hitting the enemy.
“That’s enough,” he said instead. The younger drüskelle was confused and by looking at his face Matthias could tell that the boy felt offended, but when he told him to leave the job to him and go look for another, he obeyed. But not before handing you over to him. It wasn’t comfortable or painless, Matthias didn’t treat you as if you were made of porcelain. He needed to keep the façade up while shackling you up, until he saw the boy leave.
“Drüsje,” the tall blonde spat at you. His head spun, his body felt sticky and hot, and a fire was burning in the room, keeping it warm. He laid on a soft, comfortable bed – comfier than the one he had in the Ice Court. His body was bandaged and bleeding, apparently. You stood before him, looking both exhausted and offended, with gauze and linen in your hands.
You didn’t understand much Fjerdan, not even at the boarder but you knew what drüsje meant and you weren’t one and never had been. “I am not, and I told you that before!”
The whole ‘being a witch or not’ discussion was going on forever and it was tiring. Not even showing him your medical supplies, all very used and made for people with no unholy powers, made him stop his accusations. You were really getting tired and bored of this strong, injured man. He didn’t stop his rant until you threw a dripping wet cloth at his face.
“Thank the saints, you shut up,” you said while he removed and looked at the wet rag. For a minute he wouldn’t stop looking back from the cloth, dripping onto his lap, to you. It seemed he was absolutely bewildered by your action. “As your doctor I’m telling you to stay calm, or else your wounds will open again, and I hate ruining my good work.”
“Do you understand me, Fjerdan?”
He looked at you.
“What have you done to me?” It wasn’t really something you expected to hear from someone, who’s life you had saved.
“A ‘thank you’ would be appropriate for the saviour of your life,” you told him, scooting closer. “And now sit back, I need to change to take a look at you.”
You meant to gently push him down with your fingers, but he didn’t budge. Rather the tall, wounded man kept staring at you, looking more confused than ever. Didn’t he know what happened? That he got injured, most likely by inferni? Instead, he tried to get up, only sit back immediately, hissing in pain.
“I guess that’s what you get for treating a man.” It was almost funny, if it wasn’t so frustrating, that most men reacted the same way when their got fixed up by a woman. The Fjerdan wasn’t the first stupid, hurt man you encountered in your life.
“What have you done to me, witch?” You sighed annoyed and chose to simply ignore his words. Taking the wet cloth to dab his face, he scooted away, eying you and the rag warily. “Stay away from me,” he hissed.
This was really getting annoying.
You whacked his head, made use of his baffled state by pushing him back down onto the pillow and began to gently clean his face. The cuts on his face looked much better already and the little burn too. “Did you–did you just hit me?” You had ignored his dazed stare and continued to do so, focusing more on patching that rude guy up.
“Don’t worry, I’m a doctor,” you said, trailing further down, inspecting every cut and burn for a sign of infection. But they were all doing great. “I know what I’m doing.”
When you reached the part of his body, that was mostly covered in dirtied gauze and linen, you ordered for him to sit upright, which he refused. You thought of hitting him again, but you discovered there was no need for that. He shot up when your fingers barely touched his bandaged torso, hissing about how you, a witch, should stay away from him. Having heard these accusations a million time by now, you simply continued with your work. “As I thought, the cut has teared a bit.”
The look you gave him was very telling, even he understood that it was his fault. “Told you to stop turning and tossing around. See,” you said, dabbing his opened wound and making him hiss in pain. “That’s what you get for accusing me a witch.”
After that you put some ointment on, stitched it back together and took care of his burns. His flesh still looked red and very sensitive, but it looked much better than before. While he had been unconscious you had managed to remove the necrotic pieces successfully. You knew that some batches of skin would never look the same again. However, you were glad that most of it hadn’t been as bad as it looked.
Matthias was very confused that you used normal equipment for his wounds. He had expected for witchy healers to use … well, witchcraft and forbidden things.
“You still get called a witch these days?” Matthias asked while escorting you back to your house, careful that no other drüskelle saw him sneak away a ‘witch’.
You scoffed, looking offended as ever for being called anything human. The past year he hadn’t noticed it, but now he knew that he had missed you. “Only by Fjerdans, apparently.”
“I don’t know why you always accuse me of being one. Am I simply as stunning as a Grisha or do you tell that every Ravkan woman you meet?”
Matthias chuckled. “I tell that every Ravkan woman.”
You whacked him on his chest, regretting it as soon as pain welcomed your wrists. Matthias simply enjoyed your bothered expression but not the hiss. The young drüskelle must have hurt you. He wasn’t a doctor but even he could see the forming bruise on your face, and it looked nasty.
“How often did that happen now?” Matthias asked you, looking as concerned as he sounded. Drüskelle often roamed near the boarder towns and villages. It was the easiest way of capturing witches for the fair process. But it they simply accused you based on your looks or activities – collecting firewood, herbs and other stuff you needed as a physician – then your home wasn’t save for you anymore. When he had been stubborn enough to be convinced otherwise then other drüskelle might carry you to the Ice Court.
“After you, hmm …. I think today was the third time?” You told him, sounding perfectly unbothered as if trained witch hunters weren’t a match for you. Back then Matthias wasn’t but he had been injured and confused. Maybe today’s youngling would’ve managed to carry you to back to Djerholm.
“You know, they’re no match for me. The last one didn’t even saw a glimpse of my fists and feet before I outrun him,” you said proudly, knowing very well that these encounters were indeed a problem. One, you might one day not solve.
In memory of Matthias rubbed his brows. “Do you still hit your patients?”
You gave him a – not to threatening but you loved to believe otherwise – side-glance. “Only if I need to.”
Nipping at a cup of soup with not much taste Matthias looked at you, mixing a new ointment for him. Your medical skills were amazing; however, your cooking was not, he learnt that much in the weeks he had spent at your house. The meal you made him tasted like boiled water with pieces of uncooked potatoes in his mouth.
“How do you keep yourself alive?” He asked. Over the time Matthias had grown comfortable around you. It was weird. You two grew from witch accusations to something other’s might call a friendship. Usually, you didn’t make friends with your patients. It kinda happened with Matthias.
Maybe certain circumstances require a certain outcome.
You didn’t look up from your work, you never did when you had your eyes on something. Matthias learnt that much. “Huh? I manage like everybody else.”
“Really?” He took another sip of his uncooked potato water, wishing it was something different, something tastier. He tried to ignore the tasteless cooking malfunction in his hand, instead he focused on your skillful hands, grinding herbs and other ingredients. “It is a miracle to me.”
“Why’s that?” You mixed them all together with a pinch of fat.
“Because you can’t even cook potatoes. They’re still raw. – Can you cook at all?”
That made you look up, hands smeared and stained with different ingredients. You even had some on your cheeks and nose. “Excuse me? Are you really questioning my cooking skills?”
Matthias raised a brow. “There’s nothing to question, they simply don’t exist.”
Seeing your offended face he fished a cut potato, with two fingers, out of the cup and threw it at you. It landed in your new lotion, spilling some of it on your hand and wooden table. “See, rock hard.”
“Are you insane? That salve was for you!” You fished the tuber out of the bowl, hoping that the drops of soup hadn’t influence your mixture too much. With a spatula you tried to save it. Scooping parts, you believed were stained, out and stirring it again until it looked good in your eyes. “You’ve more luck than wit, Matthias.”
“You need to boil them in water or throw them into the fire until they’re soft,” he told you, ignoring your concern for his treatment. “You can’t eat them like that.”
Annoyed you huffed. There were more important things than the cooking time of tubers. “I don’t have the time for that.”
Matthias looked at you baffled. Through the weeks you had only three different patients besides him. “You don’t need time for that.”
Carefully let Matthias you down onto your old, rotten armchair, propping up your leg with firewood. He wasn’t a physician, she sat injured in an old chair before him. But from all the years as a drüskelle he knew at least how a sprained ankle looked – and felt – like. He knew sprained all too well and the pained sounds you made whenever he touched your foot was quite telling as well.
“Do you’ve something to cool?” Matthias asked you, the expert, since putting some ice on it was the only idea he got. From his experience he knew that ice was good for both swollen ankles and bruised faces.
“Try drenching a cloth in water, they should be there in the drawer.” Following the wave of your hand Matthias found them quite easily … after rummaging through some cabinets.
“Wait,” you told him when his hand was near the drawer with different kinds of self-made ointments. “Take one of the lotions too–uh, I think it was the first one.”
He nodded, doing so as you said, bringing you a wet cloth and the first tin from the tray. As he wrapped the rag around your bruised ankle, the touch making you hiss, you opened the tin and smelled at it. The odour was awful, telling you that this was the right mixture. When Matthias opened it, to rub it on your ankle, his face scrunched up as the odd smell hit him.
“Are you sure it’s the right one?” He asked, trying not to puke from the stench. It even bit his eyes, making them all teary – he couldn’t even describe this godforsaken smell, but it was more than awful, even worse. “Shit, that reeks!”
“Well, of course it does. It has to be,” you said, completely unbothered by the odour that began to spread in the room. Your poor nose was already used to stuff like that. “If it stinks you know that it’s going to work.”
With a grin you watched him taking care of you – and suffering in the process. One would think a drüskelle would’ve seen, done, and smelled more gruesome and brutal things. But here he was, sitting in the house of a friend, doing his best not to puke.
“Did the stuff you gave me reek as much?”
“Even worse.” You grinned proudly. “But see, it worked.”
Matthias couldn’t remember the smell of it. His mind was foggy when it came to all that pain, which was a good thing he thought, since he must’ve smelt awful. He didn’t want to remember that.
“Are you okay?” Matthias wasn’t a physician; he wasn’t even close. He probably made more damage than ever mending people. But it looked like he had done a good job with you, his doctor and friend. “Is there anything more I can do?”
You smiled, which was barely visible under the large piece of meat Matthias has brought you to cool your face. “You did well. I only need to rest for some days, and everything will be fine.”
“So, you’ll run around, letting drüskelle catch you?” It was meant as a joke, he knew that, and you did too. But none of you could bring up a smile, not even a little. There had been something serious, something chiding in his flat, joking tone.
“They won’t catch me,” you chuckled drily, trying to ignore the changing mood of the room.
“Yes, they will.”
“No.”
Matthias sighed. “You need to leave.”
“No!” You cried in protest. “This is my home. I won’t leave! The people need me, I’m their doctor!”
“Other people need you too!” His voice carried almost the same volume as yours, even though he had wanted to remain calm with his friend. You were just so goddamn stubborn. He wasn’t always there to save you.
“Like whom?” You scoffed. “You?”
Yes.
“Other villagers need medical treatment too,” he said instead. Matthias knew that his care for you wouldn’t change much, especially not if he expressed that you were an important, a live-saving friend for him. You wouldn’t believe it. Mostly because you hadn’t seen each other in over a year and he wouldn’t be able to take you with him all the time. Djerholm was his home but not as a drüskelle, not really.
“So, I should just leave the ones here?”
“Y/N,” he sighed. “When I was with you, you only had like five different patients. They don’t come to you. They rather go to the next village.”
You knew that this was true. You always hated to admit it, but you mixed far more tinctures and lotions than you could use, mostly because there wasn’t much to do here. Most villagers rather walked hours to get treated by an older, male physician than you. You never knew why they didn’t trust you as much. Maybe they suspected you to be a witch too.
Still, you didn’t want to leave.
You weren’t a witch. You were a physician, what where they going to do to you anyway?
“Y/N, please.”
“Tell me,” he said, body all healed by now. Some patches were still a tint of red, but they’d probably stay like that. Otherwise, Matthias felt fine, maybe even better than ever. “Why did you save me?”
He had asked himself that for months. You were Ravkan, he was Fjerdan, your countries were at war – not the best soil to grow a friendship on. If he was in your potion, he wouldn’t know if he had let himself die. As enemies it was the most logical thing to do, right?
Right?
But then neither he or you were soldiers and fought in the war. Matthias only caught drüsje. He would help others survive.
“It was the right thing to do,” you said, preparing everything for his leave.
“But–“
“A life is always worth saving. Especially when you find a friend.”
#matthias helvar x reader#matthias helvar fanfic#matthias helvar imagine#shadow and bone fanfic#shadow and bone#grishaverse#crooked kingdom#six of crows fanfiction#six of crows#grishaverse fanfiction#sab fanfic#matthias helvar#grishaverse scenario
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My polykin experience (long).
EDIT: As you'll read, I do a lot of soul-searching and re-examining to make sure I'm getting myself right. What you read here may not be accurate to my current self, which can be found on my pinned post.
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I identify as polykin. This is because I have more than one kintype which has persisted for several years.
Due to the fear of being fakeclaimed or grilled by rude people (nice questions are welcome btw!) I spent a long time denying, hiding or refusing to acknowledge some of my kintypes. I kept telling myself that I could only have one, maybe two kintypes or I was 'lying' to myself, despite evidence to the contrary from my own identity feelings.
I know there are others out there who have also felt this way. Nobody should feel unsafe to talk about their kintypes. It's more understood nowadays that people can have more than one kin or theriotype. However, there's still some weariness around people that have more than a couple or a select handful kin/theriotypes.
To a degree, this is understandable. What people used to call (but may not any more?) 'tumblrkin' but is more commonly called 'Kin For Fun' (KFF) or kinnies are heavily associated with incredibly long lists of kintypes. One can also make the argument that you might need to consider how much all of these kintypes are really impacting your identity for them to be actually 'you'.
But I think it's important for everyone to see these 'red flags' and actually try and understand the person, rather than dictate to them how their identity should be formatted or declaring them a 'fake'. Although we all have similarities, everyone is different and just because you could not imagine balancing 10+ kintypes doesn't mean that somebody else isn't dead serious about all of them.
As such, here is my attempt at being understood. (It's also kind to remember not everyone can or wants to write like I do, doesn't mean they're being avoidant if they don't like being constantly questioned).
First thing is first - I've identified as several of my kintypes way before making this blog or even being on Tumblr. Some things I used to think were kintypes have been found to be heart types/synpaths (I tend to use the terms interchangeably, applying 'synpath' more to human fictotypes) or just faves and I now don't claim them to be kintypes. In other words, I know how to assess my identity and continuously do so. Even this list coming up will likely face additions or subtractions as I continue my journey.
Second, I think 'otherhearted' and related words are very useful. As such, whenever I consider a new kintype or even an old kintype that I haven't felt a shift for in a while, I always place them in this category first (or as questioning) instead of assuming they're a kintype. To me, taking the label of a new kintype isn't a quick or easy process and involves deep introspection.
I'm almost always in some kind of shift. These are mainly taking on the persona (instincts or personality) of a kintype and is always involuntary, though the strength of such differs. Sometimes I simply shift and see myself in minds eye/perceive my body as that of a kintype (also involuntary) without a persona shift to accompany it, sometimes they coincide. Since I am always my kintypes and never not my kintypes, terms like contherian or vacillant therian may apply.
Because this is how I live, whenever I feel something new, it's usually pretty obvious. It's like 'hmm? what is this body? this face? these parts? what are these instincts? who am I right now?'. The process begins with contextual clues and if it's fiction based, leaving it be to see if it's not just a fictionflicker. It usually ends with finding the type or realising it's not a kintype etc. Sometimes this takes months, or years, and keeps coming back to cycle again.
It's important to understand that I am Autistic, and I understand that some of my experiences can be crossed with neurodivergence. I always consider this when considering a kintype. But also, I support psychological kintypes anyway. Including ones born from neurodivergence, so it doesn't much bother me. I consider myself mainly psychological, with slight leans towards beliefs that could be counted as spiritual but have no set 'path'.
The first kintypes I ever recall experiencing are werewolf and android. The werewolf one was relatively easy to understand, as kinfirmation bloomed from my love and devotion to one Tommy Dawkins from Big Wolf On Campus. He is not a kintype for me, not even a synpath. He did, however, serve to awaken in me a kind of 'pride' about being a werewolf. As he is an heroic character who happens to be a werewolf. I looked at him and thought 'we're the same. I'm a werewolf too' but, being a dumb child, I didn't seek to find a name for it (nor would I have, I feel, at the time) I just privately considered myself a werewolf or sometimes, not so privately, though my friends thought I was playing pretend when I wasn't.
Even so, my werewolf self looks nothing like Tommy's form. But I didn't question this because I knew, innately, that werewolves can and do look many different ways. I have always and will always continue to have empathy for werewolves in media, or be mad at the continuous villainous portrayals. Considering this awakening happened at like, 6 years of age and has persisted for 20 years, it's me. I'm a werewolf. I've written more about my werewolf experiences in a different post, so I won't go on.
I recall telling someone's mum once that 'I'm a robot. I don't have feelings like people do. I can't cry.' which she took as a worry and had a talk to me about feelings being ok. But that's not what I meant. I meant that, I'd started feeling shifts where crying was a physical impossibility and my comprehension of emotions was different. It took me a long, long time to come across a firm android identity with defined characteristics, purpose, function and inner workings. I'm still working on it now. I tend to say 'kind of like how androids are in Detroit: Become Human' but I'm not an Android from there, there's just similarities. There's also a secondary android I am which looks far more obviously like a machine though still humanoid and I'm questioning if they're the same in some way or two distinct identities.
Even though FNAF Security Breach is new, the build up connections to realising I'm the Daycare Attendant is not. Already I had that connection to being a machine but there was always the feeling of being something not typically 'android', of taking care of children as a duty and with sun and moon themed clowns. I made a slightly more detailed post about my connections but yeah it was funny and almost breathtaking how a bunch of little things suddenly came together and made more sense when this character existed in our world.
I've never had a strong religious connection to anything, but felt more affirming thoughts towards polytheism or pseudo-religious dogma. The name 'Lucifer' felt kind of right to me, and I explored the more well known Abrahamic Lucifer for a while. This didn't feel...right though. I liked what he stood for religiously to those who follow him, but it wasn't me. I knew I was a winged humanoid figure, something to do with dawn, something to do with bringing light...through study and research I found the minor God known as Phosphoros/Eosphoros and yes even Lucifer. From his role, to his appearance to his domains, it all fit so much better than before and the shifts for him are very frequent I'll tell you what. (That's 6).
For as long as I remember, I've always felt distinctively metahuman too. I disregarded this for a long time due to having kintypes with 'special' abilities anyway, until it started to feel like a gap in my identity.
At first I thought this was to do with knowing I should be able to manipulate fire. Then I felt that no, it was something a bit more ephemeral than that. Something that people don't usually see. Wind maybe? No. It's yellow, it's bright and can be hot like fire. I came across the term photokinesis one day. Manipulation of light. Using like to create, to burn, to move, to shield, to fly...all of this felt real. I'm a metahuman. I don't feel this is connected to divinity (even with the above identity), but comes from a place where lots of people had abilities of different kinds.
Woo, that's 5! And yeah, I'm otherhearted and copinglink and synpath and always questioning. My copinglink's feel just as strong and important as my kin/theriotypes and my hearttypes and synpath identities are equally important to me but in different ways.
I have a lot of fave characters and animals and creatures who are just things/characters I think are neat. I feel warm towards my partners kintypes without having a special connection myself. Because I do not, I repeat, do not assume every connection I have is a kintype.
So you may ask, why is it you believe you're polykin, with so many kintypes, instead of just one?
Honestly, this is something I question every day. The idea of having past lives feels kind of right to me, psychological impacts also feel right. I've come to the point now where I actually don't...care why? I only care about who I am and what I'm going to do with that. The past is the past, the future comes later, I'm whatever and whomever I am right now and it doesn't matter why I'm like this and not just a human only that I am this.
All of these identities are parts of me. Wholly creating the truest 'me' I can ever be. I am me. I am all of my kintypes. I wouldn't be 'me' without them all. I am polykin and all of me are real.
#polykin#otherkin#alterhuman#androidkin#werewolfkin#mutant kin#metahuman kin#fnafkin#alterbeing#otherbeing#other+
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I've been discussing with a group of swifties before deciding to send this because I don't want to be rude at all. Please let us see the runner ups. I get having a patreon for extra things you do like styling or sharing tips. I even understand making people wait for your posts while patrons see them first. But taking away Taylor related fashion content just because we can't afford this is really just unfair after the loyalty and time we've had with you for years.
Hi! I appreciate the thought and consideration made prior to sending this feedback. That said, I hope I can properly articulate why I have chosen to have the runner-ups on the Patreon and not the blog.
While I have long provided TSS Predictions (in a fun twist of irony, my very first was for the 2014 Golden Globes), I have not always included my runner up or honourable mentions. They are not a hard necessary requirement of the predictions post which has always included four top choices, a breakdown of why I chose it, and potential styling options to pair with each. I have not always included them and they are inconsistent in both number and whether they are present at all. Which is why I have always considered them an “extra”. They are a sweet bit of additional content, but they are not the bones of the content. As I’ve sought to distinguish the blog and Patreon content, the TSS Exclusives tier is meant to encapsulate all of that “additional” content, under which runner-ups fall (imo).
Sometimes I simply link to the looks that are my runner ups such as here. Sometimes there is only one with an actual styled breakdown below it like here. And sometimes there are more than that with additional styled breakdown here.
One thing runner-up commentary has always had in common is that the looks aren’t formatted into an image or post and there very rarely is more than 1-3 of them. The Patreon runner-up commentary is its own image post (exactly like the one that has always been formatted for the blog), includes four looks, and an equivalent breakdown of commentary and styling suggestions. Effectively: exactly double the work that one single predictions post typically warrants for the blog.
I truly don’t want to create unfairness or slight the amazing loyalty and fanship of TSSers who have been around for so many years (or anyone who has been around and chooses to support TSS in any fashion for any length of time) but to me this difference in content and this line in the sand makes sense to me - though, as always, I will continue to be open to feedback regarding the Patreon and its contents as I fully understand what how sensitive it can be to some and the feelings of exclusivity it evokes.
For more info on the TSS Patreon head here.
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Is there a nice way to point out typos and stuff? Because sometimes I see them and I want to tell the author but I don't want to seem mean. I figured that since you're an author you would be able to answer better than most people. Thanks.
Actually show where the typos are. So many people claim they saw errors but conveniently can’t remember where or just don’t want to go through the trouble of listing them, despiting going through the trouble of commenting on them. Authors take that as lying. Meaning trolling/flaming.
Also make sure that the author asked for con-crit. Not all authors want criticism and some are just writing to have fun and not get better. A lot of people make the mistake of assuming that every writer wants to become a better writer. A lot of them simply want to make their stories. If they were really worried about all those nit-picking errors, they’d publish novels and take classes, not write fanfic once a month.
If the person in question asked for people’s opinions and con-crit, then word it as kindly as possible, and provide the proof that something is messed up. On AO3 you can actually copy and paste the messed up text to show the authors.
Now, if it is about a fact you’re unsure of, do not try to correct the author until you’ve educated yourself on the matter. Someone once railed into me for stating that Hogwarts has around 1,000 students at any given time, and called me all manner of rude names. I sent them a message with links to JK Rowling’s admittance to such a fact and they tried to kiss my ass. I blocked them.
Do not make a comment if the subject is something you aren’t aware of or know anything about! I wrote a Deaf character. A Hearing person will never truly understand the full extent of what the D/deaf and HoH Community goes through. That was why I needed help from such people to make the character realistic. It stands to reason that only a person who is Deaf or Hard of Hearing, can truly determine whether or not the character is realistic and if my depiction of their Deafness is truth. Meaning the criticism and complaints from Hearing readers who’ve never experienced hearing loss and the issues that come with it, won’t mean shit. It’ll just be uneducated whining.
Finally, Grammar errors. I have shit Grammar. My English class consisted of Grammar & Punctuation, Spelling, Vocabulary, Poetry, and Literature. All crammed into one class. Each day of the week was dedicated to one subject for those 45 minutes. I know I have shit Grammar. While every other part of the class was filled with a straight A+, Grammar always came out to a C-. I had to do extra credit to level up my overall grade so Grammar didn’t drag me down. I am aware of my faults.
Fact is, not everyone is a Grammar nerd and when 1/5 of my readers don’t speak English as their first language, they probably aren’t going to realize them when they read. Also, I state very clearly that I have no beta and have mentioned my shit Grammar dozens of times before. I am well aware of it by now.
If an author is aware of their faults and even mentions them at the beginning of every chapter like I do, then they don’t need to be reminded. Instead of going, ‘you’re grammar sucks’ or ‘You need to work on your Grammar.’, actually give examples on what to fix, or suggest a website to help them. Telling someone to just ‘get a beta’ doesn’t actually work. You’re telling them to place their trust in someone they most likely don’t know. To give this person access to their works and to trust that it won’t be stolen? Not everyone is comfortable with that and not everyone can get a friend or family member to beta because generally RL friends and family don’t understand fanfiction and think it’s a waste of time.
FACT: Even though someone asks for con-crit, half of the time, they will get defensive and attack you for daring to point out their faults. You will simply have to point out that they asked for con-crit and that the note is obviously for everyone to see, and then wash your hands of them.
P.S. When pointing out something, don’t just go on and on about mistakes only. Actually make an effort to leave a review on the work before pointing out problems.
Ex:
One time I posted a fic on AO3. It was a angsty/fluffy/AU 3-shot. Someone proceeded to copy and paste everything they thought was wrong with it, but never once told me what they thought of the fic. Just pointed out dozens of supposed ‘errors’. Well, someone else read those comments and railed into them on the last chapter, demanding to know why the hell they did nothing but be a condescending ass the whole time. Why not just add their opinion instead of being a ‘grammar nazi’? The excuse, “I kept reading, didn’t I?”. Which should prove that they liked it apparently.
Fact is, the responder was an English Major and proceeded to tear apart their format, structure, and Grammar, and pointed out that more than half of the issues they claimed I had, were wrong. That just because the person thought the word ‘hanged’ sounded wrong, didn’t mean it was actually wrong. ‘Hung’ is not a word despite people using it a lot, and if you used it in an English class, you’ll get points off, because God forbid it just be official.
The original commenter edited their comments on every chapter, adding their opinions on the actual fic and apologizing for their mistake and the misunderstanding.
It was an interesting event I will admit.
Anyway, that’s what I’ve got for you. Hope it helps! ^-^
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