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Astrology Observations No.6

with lovely @sc0rpi0suntaurusm00n

Saggittarius suns, moons and mercurys don't have a social filter, they say what everybody is afraid to say blunt af. Jupiter the optimist makes them confident to say what they mean, feel or think (Sun,Moon,Mercury)

If you have venus in tense aspects with neptune you need to do a reality check of your relationships now and then, because sometimes you will put the people around you on a pedestal and other times you will dislike people because they don't fit into your picture perfect fantasy anymore. Just needs some work.(Neptune is like a siren that wants to sell you a fantasy that isn't there, and when you follow her whistles she gets you. Venus energy wants to receive, get loved and share love. So combining these two energies in a tense aspect like a square or opposition gets messy)

Saturn square north node + the south node are generational breakers. Their upbringing was hard and truly intense

Scorpio mercurys don't mind sounding too direct they will ask you anything if they want to know the answer. Oh I saw that you talked about me on a tuesday girls night with ... around midnight, why did you do this...¿😆

Capricorn suns please let us know how to help you. You go through traumatic sh*t, and after all that you stay humble and act like nothing happened

Jupiter aspecting neptune in a positive way love to create art (all forms of art), it makes them genuinely happy ^^ Neptune has to do with artsy stuff, singing, imagination jupiter expends this energy

Mars in leo want to achieve something (whatever it is) The ego is also ruled by leo, so leo placements feel worthy if they achieve something for themselfes

Pure devine love is something that pisces venuses and moons are capable of giving to human 🫘 But they will also text or call you multiple times if you don't answer (Especially Pisces suns with a pisces venus)

You just want to listen to people who have scorpio mercurys, they always have something interesting to say...They know the secret spots, newest updates overall everything that is hidden honestly

Taurus moons have the ability to become real successful and are some of the warmest people if they let you in :) They like to be confortable and also give this energy out to their beloved ones

Mars in aquarius are known to behave different than the rest of their peers. Nothing that is bad, we need more people who think outside the box and follow different life tracks

If you have your moon (square,opposition) your venus list of your emotional needs and your definition of love and find a solution to combine both, if you not want to hurt the people around you regarding showing them your feelings. Due to this conflict of wanting to show love and not being able to express your feelings as you would like to this technique could possibly help you (:

Taurus venus attract love easily (best example: Ariana Grande MASTER MANIFASTOR)

Leo moons love receiving princess treatment and they know how to get it aswell ;)👑 They are LOUD with their wants and needs

Gemini moons get borderline crazy in their love reationships. One day they LOVE the other they despise you and the cycle begins again (also if you have a gemini venus)

Leo placements are either one of the most timid people you will ever meet or they

want all attention on them

Why did I meet a whole lot of taurus sun boys that struggle with finding real genuine love

Mars in sagittarius are se*ually free people. They like going after their needs and what they feel free to do

Sun (trine,conjunct,sextile) jupiter are confident at their core or they come off as such. It gives the personality an optimistic vibe

Venus in virgo are the most devoted lovers on the world, they will not forget your anniversary (and get real mad if you do), take care of you, pay attention to your dislikes & likes

If you have sun in scorpio degrees your real personality is so hidden from the public. Everybody is going to want to figure out who you are only to discover a new personality trait of yours every now and then

Virgo man get the ick real quick. Why do they hate on women without a reason, boy get that frustration out in a healthy way

Aquarius placements may feel excluded from groups a whole lot but later in their life they find their people and have a good amount of friends around them. Also people who start trends and influence a whole generation (XxxTentacion, Paris Hilton,...)

@sc0rpi0suntaurusm00n part:

Pisces moon - these are the folks who you see drawing in a corner or reading an interesting book, whether it is mixed with fire or air there will always be an ethereal Aura or a mystery to these natives 🫶

Cancer moon - shy individuals quite often. Not ones to initiate contact but definitely enjoys some attention to their needs. Cares about their mother or maternal figure quite deeply. Often times these individuals have a significant relationship with the mother which is part of who they are, single mother raised is quite common and adoption is likely as well from what I have seen. There may also be a misogynistic type in lower vibration natives from what i have seen

Capricorn moon - they may seem like the mysterious yet charismatic type but deep down there is a lot under the surface. These natives being cardinal signs, they can relax into something and then when you least expect it their passion and drive is unstoppable. You never know when they're tumultuous emotional life might break through the surface and send them blazing toward a new goal.

Taurus moon - (I am biased as a Taurus moon myself lol🫣)they may have a soft spot for comfort and stability, and typically the pinnacle of finance, care, and stability (although when mixed with sag it may be expressed quite unconventionally) Taurus moon natives are the least likely to make plans and change them due to "not feeling like it" if they are going to do it, they will. Taurus moons are always sharing their food OR they will never let you touch it - no in- between lol😭

Aquarius sun - Aquarius is very different, what I notice in common is the respect for difference. Often these signs are good with computers lol (maybe just because I have 3rd house aqua). The Aquarius man can be so caring or they can be cold, but they have a soft spot always -whether it is a quirky girl or a Quirky interest. These are often the people who want to be first to do something- the trendsetters... Although some can just be quite on top of trends-i have never seen an Aquarius who wasn't ahead of their pears in something whether fashion electronics or anything new.

Scorpio moon - one of my personal favorites💕, but I'm so biased lol(Scorpio stellium🤫) although these natives are known for having rough lives which is true, these peeps are totally down for a trauma dump sesh, or just a really good rant when you are their close friend. The female Scorpio moons are often friends with more females- might be gay even but too stubborn to act on it. There is always something interesting going on in their emotional world. Either the purest virgin or somewhere between that and a man eater... Scorpio moons do not play around, they are often no bs types whether mixed with air or fire -except for Libra placements sometimes if undeveloped.

Aries moons - omg 🤍 y'all are so passionate with your emotions, like if you are mad you can have a hard time hiding it, but yall are just made to be a ball of passion. There is nothing you do that you do not put your whole heart into, if you don't have your heart in it you won't do it. You can set boundaries a little too rough sometimes for us water signs, but it's okay because you are baddies and need that extra space for chasing passions. PLuS You are always loyal anyways so we don't mind. Aries moon has a really hard time holding a grudge against people, because y'all just want to live and let live. Amazing peoples! especially the girlies whom I have met. The lower vibrations can be super flirty and super flighty tho🫠

Pisces and Aries are actually a really great duo, despite what the horoscope things so often say - pisces and Aries are the most common duo i see i believe this is due to the fact that pisces is at the end of the zodiac and Aries is new to the cycle. Its like opposites but they are also alike which is perfect for a friendship.

Unlike me, a scorpio, since i don't often have libra best friends although libras fall into my 11th house - might be due to my lilith placement being in libra as well...😭

Virgo mercury can be so intentional with their words, and this mixed with virgo mars can make for a really sharp mind but also sharp words in an argument.

- That is part of what makes cancer (sun/moon) and virgo moon a good pair in a relationship, because cancer (sun/moon) is very emotionally intelligent and virgo moon is often good at compartmentalizing emotions and rationally dealing with emotions, and often times cancer (sun/moon) need to learn to balance emotions with reason

Moon quincunx to Mars or mars square moon aspects may cause anger issues in men, specifically cancer moon Sagittarius Mars or Aries Mars. As well as Aquarius moon with Virgo mars.

Pisces placements remind me of the most beautiful expression of emotions. The positive expression of pisces placements can be expressing deep and dark emotions through arts, music, love, and things that are beautiful expressions of feelings. Some pisces placements are old souls having to go through rough experiences in childhood, like experiencing many be lifetimes in one life, it reminds me of what I believe mMitski said best 'I was so young when I behaved 25'

April Mercury Rx in Aries!? Was I the only one or no? - there were so many fights and arguments...as well as exes coming back 🫣 like as a scorpio mercury rx it wasn't that crazy for me but my friends had their exes come back into their lives and there was even a small fight which is very mars..

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If you would like you can join my spiritual family glad to have you here, and never back down never WhAaAT! Keep your hopes in life up always¡ :)

Luvv muah

555

7:25 PM

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Who is in love with you +why?🧸🍑🌸♡ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hellooo it's Lunadream💌 I will show you right now who is currently in love with you and what made them so! hope you find your message🌸💫

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍂💗

Pile 1🌸

Pile 2🍮

Pile 3🤍

Pile 4🎃

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕

Pile 1🌸

Sign energy: School, Heir, Sloth, Sleep, Care-taker, Sun, Venus, 12th house, 6th house, Taurus, 🛩🌹🖤🐭

🧸Your energy: Hellooo my pile 1's are very cute >w< The dreamy type, loves to take cat naps. May have venus in 12th house or taurus in 6th. I'm seeing a youthful appearance for this pile, you take good care of yourself and often engage in skin-care routines, healthy diet, ect. Make yourself very beautiful naturally💗 You have a feminine aura about you, very soft and angelic. You are very quiet at times and may seem half-asleep due to your peaceful nature. You have such calming vibes, very pleasant and beautiful. I feel like this pile have many suitors or perhaps secret admirers you aren't aware of!! I'm getting royalty from another country/land vibes~ may be a descendant of royalty or simply lots of money, the kind rich girl/boy in your social setting.🛍 Some of you are/were very popular in school. Genuine sunshine vibes <3 You just have such a sweet shining appearance, and your personality is like a little flower so graceful and delicate.🌻 Taurus, Libra, Leo, Pisces, Virgo are signs for my pile 1. You could have venus in Pisces or Taurus/Libra. You may be into the color black or feel drawn to people who wear black, like the dark to your light aesthetic kind of thing~☯💗 You love romance and dream of it often, love daydreaming and drifting off to sleep as you imagine the perfect love story. Cinderella vibes♡ Some could be year of the rat or have a pet mouse/rat.

🍑Who is in love with you: Scratch, Accident, Privacy, Rose colored lenses, 8th house, Cancer, Saturn, Taurus, Capricorn, 5th house, 🤗📌🏖⁉️ Alright my pile 1's this is someone you may know already!! Such secret admirer/hidden crush vibes rn💞 This person has a lot of scorpio/plutonian energy, very intense. Cancer, Capricorn, Taurus and Leo placements, they definitely have Scorpio somewhere in their inner planets. Their aura is magnetic and mysterious and almost dangerous in a sense. They are very private and keep to themselves, they avoid huge crowds and parties, they prefer to be alone.👤 They like being in the comfort of their own home, doing their hobbies and things they enjoy all by themselves. This person likes feeling safe, in a quiet environment, and doing whatever they want. I'm getting that they like going to the beach at night lol. They may have injuries or scars, might have glasses due to eye sight issues and this could be contact lenses aswell. They have restricted themselves from romance for a long time, they just spend time alone because they don't trust or believe in having a relationship with someone, they are hesitant to give it a try. So they just stick to themselves and do most activities alone.☹💔 They tell themselves that they don't need anyone, loner mentality. They may have had past experiences believing in love and seeing everything through rose-colored lenses and it ended terribly for them and it stabbed them in the back, leaving them with trust issues and resentment for having any sort of bond with another person. :( I'm seeing a slow warming up to my pile 1 as they finally start to fall into love again when they look at you, it's like their world is being shown in color, reminds me of the wizard of oz...😩😫💌💞 and they're like "tf is this?!?! What am I feeling rn?? Is this love?!!!"⁉️💗

🧁Why they love you: Trust, My love, Mouth, Drama, Name, Water, Capricorn, Cancer, Eros, Earth, 🆕️🟪👎📸 Okaaay I'm sensing a situation right now, you guys definitely stepped into this person's life and they were like 😳🤯🎆 It just hit them, and like this person has a lot of drama around them. So much crap they deal with and you just came in and I feel like you stuck up for this person lmao I feel like pile 1 just finally stood up for this person and just 🤚 to all those who were stirring up drama for this person💀 I feel like you were there for them when they needed it, and when everyone didn't even care about this person and you stepped in and said the truth, you said what needed to he said and your person LOVES you for that just know my pile 1 like omg they find it so attractive and just so empowering.😍😫✊ They felt like they finally found someone genuine, someone they could trust. And it made them so emotional too they felt like they could open up finally, like a new beginning for them.♡ They feel so safe with you by their side, and omg your name is a huge turn on for them btw they love your name and love saying it (and other ways too...😳) They love how compassionate you are to them and everyone who needs it💗 You ground them, and they feel so secure with you. The biggest reason they love you is because of how safe you make them feel and how much they trust you because they trust you a lot my pile 1's and this person does NOT trust easily I'll tell you that.😩 They love how you care so much for others, they know you have a big heart and this attracts them to you even more!!

💌Messages from your person: Tell me your secrets, You don't owe me anything, I wanna marry you, You keep doing this, I know your secret (What is the secret pile 1??? They're so serious about you!!🥺💍💖) Extra cards: Unheard, Mystery, Attraction, Pain, Hobby, North node, Leo, Venus, Gemini, 7th house (Literally they see a future in love/partnership with you the cards speak for themselves you guys!!)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the blossom emoji~🌸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 2🍮

Sign energy: Chest, Purple, Emotions, Passion, Stage, 3rd house, Eros, Mars, Virgo, Moon, 🔮📵🎤🛸

🧸Your energy: Heyyy we have a pretty person in this pile!! Your energy is radiating I'm getting lots of Virgo, possibly Gemini, also Aries/Scorpio and Cancer for you guys. Okay so let's see I'm getting really spiritual and uplifting vibes from my pile 2's, you are so emotional and that's what makes you so beautiful🥺💖 Singing/performing may be your passion, or you may really have a thing for music. I'm seeing lots of devotion to music like I'm hearing it's your life omg, You have a lot on your mind, and you think and feel a LOT too. You are at a point in your life where you are very self critical and strive for the best, you are willing to do anything for what you love, including love itself. My pile 2 is very protective over their heart and you guys are not letting it get broken, you have an amazing talent for speaking for your feelings. Your playlists say more about you than you ever could😂😭 You love comforting voices/asmr. I feel like you have really soothing voice aswell <3 You have a lot you stress about when it comes to relationships, my pile 2 should just have more trust in themselves, trust the process take it slow and be open to recieving love because you guys deserve it and it anyone can be loved it's pile 2.🥰⭐ You have a passionate mind and spirit and you put a lot of energy into everything you do, if I could give your brain a hug I would lol it sounds so funny🤣🤣 but seriously, take care of yourself and your mind because you tend to overthink and over feel a lot🥺👌💓

🍑Who is in love with you: Yandere, Winter, Chase, Love letter, Height, Capricorn, Vertex, 6th house, Mars, Uranus,🤙😒🐈🍓 Wow... just wow this is quite the person in love with my pile 2's... where do I even start-😫🤯 Okay you guys this person is really into you I mean REALLY into you... the vibe is just almost suffocating with this person's feelings towards you. Yandere is coming through so yeah they've got extreme ride or die feelings for you guys. Virgo, Capricorn, Aries/Scorpio and Aquarius could be in this person's chart. They could be above average height or have a strange height. They are most likely taller than you, they often tower over you or stand next to you in a way that asserts dominance so to speak. This person is someone you see often, they could be a co-worker/classmate or such. They could be born in winter so Capricorn and Aquarius are likely signs for them, also you may have met this person during winter. They are head over heels for my pile 2's and definitely very into them romantically, they are very masculine by nature and act that way toward you. They express their love in a more assertive/forward manner to you. I'm getting kabedons, grabbing your wrists and chasing you down lmao this person is so into you for real. They may send you love letters often or even daily. They are super committed to you and a little clingy too, huge simp vibes🤭💌

🧁Why they love you: Intuition, Toy, Careless, Flirt, Honest, Taurus, Fire, Air, Venus, Pluto, 🐚🤲🏖🌪 They love you because of how genuine, honest and true you are to yourself and others. They are actually obsessed with this aspect of you and the way you are truly yourself. They really went with their gut and just fell into loving you my pile 2's lol this person can actually be pretty quick to fall in love I'm getting. They don't think things through and just let their feelings take over🤭 They love your feminine energy and passionate nature. Honestly this person can't get enough of you😍😭 They are in love with how you show your emotions and how strong and sensible you are with them (even if you don't think so <3). This person may have started to fall for you after being flirted with/flirting with you. For some of you there may have been a very subtle flirting but they took it so so so serious and now they're like, obsessed with you🙃 Lol they love how you speak and your voice made them fall in their seat lmaooo they love how comforting and sweet you are. And that little spark within you that always keeps you going, they really love that about you.❤ They might have realized how cool you are and just brush things off not letting it effect you all that deeply. I'm getting for the most part this person just really enjoys the chase with you and is in love with obsessing over you guys🤣 Watch out cuz just because someone loves you doesn't mean they're "the one" (be careful pile 2 I'm getting some really unhealthy obsession vibes from this person with you and this could even be someone who finds you easy to manipulate/control so always trust your own judgement!!) They got really into your giving energy/soft aura and now they're hooked.

💌Messages from your person: Stop thinking about me, Stop ignoring me, I can't hide it from you, Am I perfect for you? You can't hide your feelings for me (They are definitely thinking about you rn) Extra cards: Society, Amusement park, Luck, Words, Favor, 6th house, Pisces, Chiron, Gemini, Sun

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the flan emoji~🍮 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 3🤍

Sign energy: December, Feelings, Seduction, Feet, Caution, Taurus, Neptune, Water, Venus, Moon, 🌇🔚📿🧍‍♀️

🧸Your energy: Feminine aura is prominent in this pile, I'm getting alluring siren beauty vibes🔱🖤 Such powerful seductive qualities and you guys are so attractive😫💋 May have Taurus in 12th house so Aries rising is likely. May have venus in water sign (Cancer/Scorpio/Pisces) or Venus conjunct moon placement. Some of you could love winter or winter clothing, could be born in winter specifically december. You are very charming and beautiful, ahh I am loving the vibe of this pile🥰 You are very cautious of love, it both intrigues you and scares you at the same time. You may worry about sharing your emotions so closely with another person, or wearing your heart on your sleeve. You have a heavy heart and a very fragile one, you know this so you keep it safe and guarded at all times. You don't open up from fear of being vulnerable which has led to you seeming cold or apathetic, but you do feel emotions quite strongly actually. You have a soft imagination and you wish to be beautiful (spoiler: you already are😇). You feel as if love purposely trips you making you fall harder than you would have liked. You may live in the city or love watching sunsets, you love when the sun sets and the moon rises. Jewelry looks great on you, pearls and onyx probably looks godly on you🥺🖤 Some of you are a bit of a loner type, waiting for someone to step in and say "hey why are you alone? You look too gorgeous to be all by yourself"😫😩😭💞 Omg I hope that's the person who loves my pile 3 lmaoooo

🍑Who is in love with you: Affection, High standards, Blame, Hug, Socialization, 3rd house, Lilith, 12th house, Sagittarius, Fire, ☀️🤐🤵☄ OMG I'm sensing a hot couple with you two JUST SAYING😭🥵 Omg we haven't even started yet I need to calm down!!! They got that look about them omg... they're really popular and liked by so many people it's like, who doesn't like them?! Wide smile, messy hair, dangerous eyes...💀 Omg pile 3 why am I freaking out so much this is great- Their voice makes you high that's what I'm hearing LMAO you wanna hate them but then you can't omg I'm hearing this persons a catch like others would KILL to date this person...🤯 This person lights up the room I mean set it on fire🔥 They have a way with words, and omg they have a knack for telling dirty jokes at parties and like they're so smooth about it-😳 I'm just gonna say it this person is probably really hot my pile 3 the person in love with you is HOT. But you wanna know what?? The worst part of all is they just wanna give you a hug!! They don't want a wild night or some naughty crap they just want to make you smile😭😭😭 They seem like a bad boy/girl but for you they're so sweet I can't...💓 They just wanna make you laugh and talk about your interests. They find you so amusing and exciting to be around, some of you may have a bad impression of this person. So you could be really on the fence about them, or shutting them out completely because you think they're bad news. I'm hearing "don't blame me" you may blame them for some reason!! They could be someone you like and blame them for your feelings😝💕

🧁Why they love you: Past, Magnetic, Acceptance, Passion, Dare, Chiron, Scorpio, North node, Pisces, 2nd house, 😭⁉️😟🦥 Awww I feel like they saw you and was like 🥺!! Like when you see a little cat on the street and you just melt😫💓 I'm getting fast attraction vibes with this one, this person probably fell quick for my pile 3's. I feel like they were like "wow who's this hottie?" Or something like that omg just like such raw passion🥴🔥🧲 Mars in 1st house overlay vibes~ It could have been a dare from their friends to try and win you over, but they just fell deeper in love with you😍 I feel like it was first physical attraction that led them to seeking more about you, then once they saw the deeper shades of your heart they felt even more inclined to love you!! They love your magnetic aura and how you're healing yourself from damaged emotions. They think you're so strong and your endurance is very attractive to them, they have much passion and respect for my pile 3 and just overall so much love!❤ They want to he that shoulder to cry on when you finally open up to them, and they love the true you, the emotional and vulnerable you. They love your chaotic little mind, they also really fall in love with you when you cry. It makes them feel drawn to protect and be there for you, to experience everything you are feeling. They're the type to put themselves in your shoes, just so they know exactly how you feel. They love watching you grow and heal, and transform into the the strongest most powerful person you can be.🤧🖤

💌Messages from your person: Sing to me, I thought it was all in my head, Focus on me, I wanna kiss your neck, You make me so happy (Ahhh so cute😍❤) Extra cards: Angel, Out, Cafe, Girlfriend, Innocence, South node, 11th house, Scorpio, Leo, Fire (My pile 3 they wanna ask you out on a date <3)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the white heart emoji~🤍 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 4🎃

Sign energy: Accusation, Admiration, Fear, Company, Fit, Gemini, Lilith, 9th house, 5th house, Saturn,🧚‍♀️🌇✌🦋

🧸Your energy: You give ethereal fairy/pixie vibes, you probably dreamed of becoming an air pilot as a kid😆 You enjoy having people over in your home. You felt restricted in your early years by others, so you admire those who can live freely and live in chaos and fun. You desire change in your life and all you want to to have a good time, others have tried to dampen your fun and good vibes. For some you may have had an older sibling that got on to you a lot, or told you to be more responsible😞 Could have been told you don't fit in with your family, because you are different. But my pile 4 you are so special, you are like a fairy!!😉 So magical and joyful~ you are a child at heart no matter the age, and you probably believe in fairytales at least a little🤏😇💫 You have changed a lot over the years and learned so much, you have many role models. Your child-like nature is both a blessing and a curse, many people hated you for being so light and joyful. But so many people love this about you, those who gave you a hard time felt bad that they couldn't face life as bright and care-free as you do. You truly are a gift to this world⭐

🍑Who is in love with you: Ability, Inactivity, Change, Soft spot, Friends, 2nd house, 8th house, Moon, Uranus, Chiron, 💄🤹‍♂️🌻😚 Omggg this is someone you know pile 4, this could be your best friend or a friend of yours. Could be friends of friends also, lgbtq+ vibes with this person, they could totally be a friend that has a secret crush on you!!🙊 This could be a childhood friend, perhaps someone who always cared for you all along. They are deeply in love with you pile 4 and they are so delicate with you, the way they speak is like a flower so calming and still. Could be Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio or Aquarius placements. I just realized the juggling emoji with the rainbow so that's another confirmation for any lgbtq+ in this pile :D This person loves you in such a pure adorable way, they light up when you smile. And they have the means to truly heal you my lovely pile 4, I mean they could really treat you well. They want to take care of you and probably always did/do.💝 I'm getting that if this is a childhood friend situation that they always cared for you like tend to your injuries, gave you bandaids, shared their lunch, honestly so sweet😭🥺💗🩹 You guys may not have a label for your relationship or it could be very confusing for you both, "are we friends? Do they like me? What are we??" What I'm hearing. This is a very emotional and empathetic native, they are so involved in your comfort and care. They want to check up on you a lot and ask if you're okay <3 This person is genuinely out for your best interest.

🧁Why they love you: Think outside the box, Devotion, Practical, Capricorn, Happiness, Earth, Scorpio, 5th house, 9th house, Saturn, 🌅🧤🎓🗻 I think they realized how smart and capable you are and just how you showed everyone that you aren't childish in a bad way and can actually achieve whatever you put your mind to.🤗 This person is in love with your perseverance and dedication for the things you care about, they love your care-free and fun yet able mentality. They especially love how dedicated you are to being happy and creating your own happiness, that really makes them fall in love💘 They find your mind so interesting and unlike any other, your ideas and beliefs are so unique and innovative to them. You are their little box of happiness awww and they wanna take you with them everywhere they go🥺 They think you're really smart and you never stop amazing them. Every little thing you do inspires this person, and makes them fall deeper in love with you. I feel like they try to think rationally about their feelings for you, because they wanna be thoughtful and rational just like you can be. But of course you make them so emotional and just so many feelings are ignited within this person for you. They love your success and all that you have achieved with your will. They are in awe with the things you do and say, your happiness makes them feel safe. They fell in love with your bright eyes and strong personality.🌈

💌Messages from your person: Cheer for me, No one makes me feel this way, It's karma, I have no boundaries with you, I've changed (I feel like you've inspired this person to keep going and stay strong!! You have shown this person how to be strong and believe in themselves and they honestly adore you for that🥺💓) Extra cards: Show, Interpretation, Sight, Conflict, Softie, Pluto, Jupiter, Neptune, Vertex, Sun

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the pumpkin emoji~🎃 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

Mb if youve already answered this before, but what are your thoughts on Ratchma? (Not just the sexy bits but also just the. Mess that is their relationship lol)

ooohhh girl....

Ok so this sat in my askbox for a bit, not because I don't have ideas, but because I have... far too many. I FINALLY got my shit together though. Ok first of all I'd like to say this post is a little bit pharma heavy, i feel like I would write my ratchet prettyyyyy close to canon?? I think i take a few big steps away from canonicity with my pharma

SECOND. here's what I think ratchma's vibe was as simply as possible

I think it began pretty normal all things considered!! I think he was a little bit clingy, a bit possessive, but like... it becomes odd when he's feeling like this about someone he's not even dating.

This SHOULD have been mitigated when they started dating. it was not. because Pharma is decent at hiding his weird side, and Ratchet was too busy to notice really, because he had a job and he cared a lot about it.

TW: UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MENTIONS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, CODEPENDENCY, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, INSANITY/MENTAL BREAKS, BAD MENTAL HEALTH, AND TRAUMA THOUGH THESE DESCRIPTIONS ARE NOT INCREDIBLY IN DEPTH PLEASE BE SAFE!

During this time I do think pharma's BIG issue was that heeeee can imagine his way through anything. I think he was more in love with the idea of ratchet than he was with how ratchet actually was. I feel like pharma based a lot of his desire for ratchet less on him as a person, and more on his skill as a medic, and the rank he perceived him to have. It wasn't really out of manipulation or power grabbing so much as it was like... an obsession with an idealized version of Ratchet that doesn't really exist.

I feel like obviously that would kind of lead to some mild gaslighting on pharma's part. where if ratchet did something that didn't fit with his worldview, he would act like it didn't happen, talk about it like ratchet did what he wanted. Again, I think he got away with this because Ratchet was genuinely just too fucking busy to deal with it.

I think as well, his downfall was also his possessiveness, I don't think it's too much of a leap to say pharma would have been at best cold to those he saw as a threat to their relationship, and at worst, outwardly combative. I think he'd take a swing either socially or figuratively at whoever was 'in his way' if he thought he could get away with it though.

I think on ratchet's part, it's really difficult to be in a relationship with someone who puts you on a pedestal like that. To know everything you say has a 50/50 chance of going in one ear and out the other if they don't think it 'makes sense' for you to think that

Again, I don't think ratchet was really helpless, but judging by the way he ended his relationship with pharma by canonically GHOSTING HIM, I like making sense of that for ratchet by saying I think he had a few pretty good reasons not to end things properly, namely that pharma probably wouldn't believe him.

SIDE NOTE- PHARMA'S SANITY

Okay so I've seen some discourse about people who think pharma was always totally crazy, so i'd like to start by saying I don't think pharma was as cutthroat and murderous as he was at the end of the delphi arc, I think he's always been a liiiiittle bit off. I think pharma is a tragic character doomed by the narrative, I do think he had a hand in that narrative.

I've put together a helpful little chart here to illustrate!!

I fully believe that pharma was pushed to the brink by the situation with the djd, I think he would never be the person he is now without that situation. I feel like it's kind of stupid and naive to say that pharma was always gonna end up like that bc he was a little toxic and weird and bad for ratchet, I think having to betray your oath and butcher your patients for an insane t-cog addict is enough to really drive someone insane.

I feel like pharma dives off the deep end with wild abandon when he realizes Ratchet has met him again at his absolute worst, bringing around someone he seems to really adore(drift), now knowing that ratchet will never trust him again and that he sees him as a murderer and monster and there's know way he can delude himself out of that. I think he sort of goes 'MAY AS WELL!!! NOTHING MATTERS!! AHAHAHA'

NOW AS FOR. *AHEM* EVERYTHING ELSE.

I think pharma brings all of that possessiveness and insanity directly to bed with him. I think he would do anything for ratchet, i think he wants him so bad it makes him think terrible thoughts. I think he'd dissect that man if he got the chance, I think he's the type of guy to be like 'i gotta crawl into his ribcage or I'm not close enough to him' you know??

basically I think pharma is a simp and wants to rip Ratchet apart with his teeth. I think he would say 'oh yeah ratchet whatever you want to do is fine!' and he would mean 'i would do anything to feel your warmth against me for even one fucking second, youre mine, you are mine forever i will die without you'

on a more lighthearted note, Pharma is the type of guy to be like 'PAH! I WOULD NEVER STOOP SO LOW AS TO HAVE A MEDICAL KINK!!' while having the worlds most massive medical kink. I think if he got to do Ratchet's physical he would cum so hard he died. I think pharma has a thing for control, but he can spin literally any situation in his head so that he's in control, and so no matter what position he's in with Ratchet, he's pretty happy.

With anyone else though, he tops or power bottoms, no question, no room for switching.

OUGHHH GOD THIS WAS WAY WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE!!!!! AND GOT SO FUCKIN HEAVY I GUESS!! ANYWAYS!! THANKS FOR TUNING IN!!

The New Moon

Rafe Cameron x Goth!Fem!Reader

ᴄᴡ: none

ᴡᴄ: 1k

ɴᴏᴛᴇ: this is part one of i dont know how many, but i’m seeing where it takes me! there aren’t any physical descriptions this chapter except for the color of clothes and the reader wearing makeup.

next →

Rafe had known you since senior year high school. If he’d paid more attention he would have realized you’d worked at the country club long before he transferred to public school. The original plan was to have him attend one year outside of the academy in public school to teach him a lesson. Ward was tired of his antics, even if they hadn’t reached extreme points yet.

Rose, on the other hand, had whined and moaned against the decision. Imagine how it would look with Rafe being at public school, Ward couldn’t have cared less. He believed a punishment was needed and he made sure it was delivered. Rafe had reluctantly showed up to public school for a singular day, only to go home and beg his dad to not send him back. He promised to straighten and do whatever necessary. Anything was better than enduring a second day.

After long deliberation (and bribing), Ward had finally relented, warning Rafe to shape up or else he’d go back there. While Rafe hadn’t exactly fixed everything, he became adept at not getting caught. He’d learned from that one day of public school. Don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself. To anyone else his reaction may have seemed overdramatic, and it was, but to Rafe public school was haunting.

He’d gone there expecting that people would recognize him and be intrigued, instead, he was another face in the crowd. The school was located towards the middle of the island, filled with all the students that couldn’t afford the academy. To them Rafe was a nobody. He had no power there. He especially had no power on how others judged him.

In the academy Rafe could freely snark at anyone he pleased. In public school, Rafe had been shoulder checked numerous times, snickered at from mouths behind hands, or completely disregarded. He despised it. He missed when people looked up to him, or were too scared to start something with him. Rafe had realized how isolating it felt when he entered the cafeteria to see groups of people already arranged at tables.

No one welcomed him. There was no fanfare. He was only met with suspicious glares. He deserved them no doubt, but suddenly being at the bottom of the social ladder was jarring. Rafe stood there to glare back at the room, as if it would help somebody invite him over, when someone abruptly slammed into his back.

“Fuck, sorry-“ A voice cursed behind him. Rafe turned around to spout out an insult when his eyes landed on you. Oh. was his first thought. There you stood decked out in all black attire. All the intricate layers and unique cuts fit together like you’d spent hours curating the perfect outfit. Even your makeup seemed expertly crafted to fit your vibe. Rafe could only imagine how long it took you to get dressed. He was accustomed to people spending long periods of time to get ready, but none of them looked like you.

Rafe wondered if anyone else dressed like you here. Was it more accepted in public school? Not that it mattered when you were right in front of him. He had never met a goth person, and had never realized how attractive he would think your style was. Usually his type were kook girls who liked him, but damn. “Are you just going to stare?” quickly snapped him out of his thoughts.

“What?” he responded cluelessly. You laughed—a genuine laugh! It wasn’t directed at him, but rather at the situation itself. Rafe watched as your hand covered your smile, already wanting to see it again. As you shook your head his blue eyes locked on yours. “Look, don't bother with the cafeteria, it's a shit show. Anyone who’s not boring sits in the courtyard.” He nodded slowly, “And are you one of those people?”

Rafe had expected bite in your response to his prompt but you merely shrugged. “Hmm, maybe.” He grinned dumbly as you walked away to join the line for lunch. “Will you be out there?” Rafe called out to your back. “You’ll see, Rafe Cameron.” He paused when he was met with his full name. You knew him and yet he didn’t know you. Rafe had wanted all day for someone to know who he was, but now he was silently cursing his family. He could only hope you didn’t know some of the shit he’s pulled.

Pushing away the thoughts, his feet hurried out to the courtyard to find a seat under a tree. Rafe waited and waited to see your figure step out of the doors. But as the bell rang you still hadn’t shown up. He really hadn’t wanted to dwell on the fact that the one positive thing about the day had slipped through his fingers.

As burdens continued to piled up onto his lap his day spiraled downhill. The teachers were just as relentless as the students, dumping an overwhelming chunk of makeup work on him. If the front doors weren’t locked Rafe may have made a desperate run for it. He had never realized the stress of public school, finding himself mentally praying for time to swiftly pass by. As the end of the day rolled around he sprinted to his car, which was boxed in by cars on either side, and sped home.

After the scare and being able to go back to private school things started to settle. After a few days, and a few dreams featuring you as the star of them, he went to the country club to golf on the weekend. Rafe needed the break and the opportunity to rant about public school to Topper and Kelce. It was senior year for fucks sake, why should he had to even go there in the first place!

The rounds flew by on the course, leaving him thirsty. Rafe unsuspectingly made his way towards the bar only to stop short at sight of the person serving an older man. Fuck, it was you. And what else could Rafe do except turn the other way and speed off, not catching your intrigued gaze.

You giggled under your breath seeing Rafe shove his hands in his pockets and dash the other way. Did you intimidate him that much? You truly couldn’t remember anything bad happening between the two of you. What a strange guy. The man you served, Bob, caught your eye, following your view to see what you were looking at. “Oh, that Cameron boy?”

You hummed and looked at the man. “Yeah…is he always like that?” “Weird and shifty?” Well, you wouldn’t have described him like that, “Sure.” Bob swirled his glass before sipping from it for dramatic effect making you suppress an eye roll. “Yeah mostly. Make sure to stay away from that boy. He isn’t known for kindness.” Huh. That was certainly not how he had acted towards you. If anything he seemed dumb in a sweet way.

Your eyes found their way back to where he was making an excuse of why he hadn’t gotten a drink to Topper and Kelce. Interesting.

Various Storms and Saints- Prologue

"You still haven't told me if he's cute or not."

Scully sighed and pressed the heels of her hands against her forehead, cradling the phone in the crook of her neck. Nobody could make her regret bringing up a subject as quickly as her sister when she put her mind to it. "No, Missy, I haven't," she allowed. "Because it's irrelevant. Mulder's good looks aren't the reason I miss working with him."

"So you admit it? He is cute?"

"Missy. Can we please have a serious conversation, for once?"

"Fine, fine," Melissa acquiesced, though her tone made it clear this point would be revisited in the future. "Tell me why you miss working with him, then."

"Well... part of it is the cases we tackled together," Scully said. "The autopsies I'm stuck doing now that the X-Files are shut down seem so boring in comparison to murderous clones and mind-controlling worms in the Arctic."

Melissa whistled. "Yeah, I can see how that might be a little bit of a come down. What's the other part?"

"What other part?"

"You said the cases are part of the reason. So what's the other part?"

Scully closed her eyes. How to define this most indefinable of relationships, especially to Melissa, who so often seemed to think every person in her life fit into a neat box? "I miss the way he spoke to me," she said finally. "He never talked down to me, not even when he was standing so close I practically had to break my neck to meet his eyes. He made me feel like the things I have to say are important... that they carried real weight with him, even when he didn't agree with me." She chuckled ruefully. "Which was most of the time. He's always shown me a respect that I don't get that often, being surrounded by men in positions of authority who all love to hear themselves talk."

"That does sound like it would be tough to leave behind," agreed Melissa. "Couldn't you... I dunno, lobby to be his partner on whatever assignment he's on now, though? Then at least you'd still be working together even if it wasn't in the X-Files."

"He's working with someone else," said Scully darkly. "At least he was on his most recent case. I don't know if they're officially partners or not."

"And you don't like whoever it is," said Melissa knowingly. "I can hear it in your voice." "I don't really know anything about him," Scully admitted. "But... there's something strange about him, you know? He just makes me nervous." There had been something about Alex Krycek's fresh-faced innocence that had seemed less than genuine, even if Scully couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Bad vibes, huh?"

"Maybe." Scully sighed. "For all I know, it's just my jealousy getting in the way because I want to be the one out there with Mulder."

"See, I knew you liked him," crowed Melissa, and Scully groaned, exasperated.

"Melissa. It's not like that."

"Fine, fine, whatever you say," Melissa huffed. "Hang on a sec, okay?" The phone was muffled, as though Melissa had put her hand over the receiver. Someone's voice asked a garbled question, Melissa gave an equally garbled response, and a moment later, she was back. "Hey Danes, I gotta go, okay?"

"Wait, Melissa, what's your--"

"There's a meditation session I'm supposed to lead and they're waiting for me. I'll call you soon, okay?"

"But Melissa, where are--" There was a click, and the line went dead.

Scully dropped her bedroom extension back into its cradle on the nightstand and sank back onto her bed with a sigh, snuggling into the cardigan she'd pulled on over her work clothes when she'd walked into her apartment. She'd come home from work for lunch, having finished her morning teaching session a little early, and had been available purely by chance when Melissa called for the first time in two months. Phone conversations with her older sister, while always welcome, tended to be exhausting these days. She hadn't seen Melissa in years, not since the day after her graduation from medical school. Melissa hadn't made it to the event itself, but she'd shown up at the party her parents had thrown her afterwards. Melissa hadn't understood her sister's disappointment, and Maggie Scully, as she so often did, had defended her elder daughter to her younger.

"You know big ceremonies aren't really your sister's thing, Dana," she'd said, patting Scully's shoulder consolingly. "She barely sat through her own high school graduation. Just be thankful she's here for the celebration, all right?"

Sitting through a graduation ceremony was boring, to be sure, but that hadn't stopped Scully from doing it for all three of her siblings when they'd finished high school, plus for Bill and Charlie when they'd finished college. In her opinion, it had nothing to do with how exciting or boring the ceremony itself was, and everything to do with showing up for the people she loved when their hard work and accomplishments were recognized.

Showing up. That was something Melissa had traditionally had difficulty with, when it came down to it.

They hadn't even had a working phone number for Melissa last Christmas when Ahab had passed. Scully, tasked with handling everything while her mother waded through her initial shock and grief, had called every friend of Melissa's she could think of, trying to locate her sister, and had failed. She'd been reduced to sending a letter to Melissa's last known address in hopes it might get correctly forwarded. But it never got to her, as was evidenced three months later when Melissa had called home, chatted with Maggie cheerfully about her recent travels, and then had asked to speak to her father and had been completely lost when her mother had burst into tears.

"Free-spirited" had always been how the family had described Melissa. But deep down, in her darkest and most shameful thoughts, the word Scully sometimes landed on was "selfish."

Scully's cell phone rang, startling her out of her reverie. She half-expected it to be Mulder, begging her to do another autopsy he couldn't trust with anyone else, but it was Roy Seekamp, a fellow FBI pathologist whose office in the Hoover building was next to Scully's.

"Where are you?" asked Roy. "One of the AD's came looking for you but your office is locked. Skinner, I think his name was?"

"I came home for lunch. What's going on?"

"Something big is going down in Virginia," said Roy. "Some hostage situation with an escaped mental patient."

Scully frowned, confused. "Why would they need me for that?" she asked.

"I don't think they actually need you or anything," said Roy. "The AD was just looking for you to let you know your old partner is there on the scene."

Scully's heart skipped a beat. "Mulder is there?" She got off the bed and raced out of her bedroom, tearing off the cardigan and snatching up her bag. "What's he doing there? He's not a hostage negotiator!"

"No idea," said Roy. "I think AD Skinner just wanted you to hear it from him. You coming back to the office?"

"Yes," Scully said, pulling on her shoes. "Be there soon." She ended the call and stuffed her phone into her bag, then looked down and realized she was still clutching her cardigan. She folded it in half and draped it over the back of her couch on her way out the door.

It stayed there, untouched, for over a month.

Some Bolas Rojas as found family headcannons for y'all:

Baghera particularly looks to Phil as a father figure. Because of how she grew up she hasn't really had a good parental figure before and Phil is another bird person who just radiates parental energy. I imagine him teaching her about some of the bird person things that she never learned because she grew up in the Federation. Also, Phil sees another Avian who is struggling and just goes into protective dad mode.

Cellbit has protective older sibling vibes. I like to think that he would be the first one to seek revenge. The amount of murder and such greatly increases when he's in charge. Like, no one can hurt your found family if they're dead. Still, he thinks things through the most of everyone. He has more murder plots than anyone else but they're the least impulsive and most well thought out murder plots on the entire team.

Phil tries his hardest to be there for the team (his children) in any way possible but he's still dealing with a lot mentally. Cellbit tries to make sure he's taking breaks while he and the others try their best to take care of things. It doesn't always go well because they're so chaotic but at least Phil isn't working himself to death. Phil also just genuinely cares so much. Like he's right there whenever there's any sort of problem. Supporting his family as best he can 'til the end.

Jaiden and Slimecicle have such chaotic sibling vibes. They intimidate others with their sheer insanity. Like, they're manipulating and waging physiological warfare. They're the siblings that get into intense fights but are still somehow besties. They go about everything in a contradictory yet balanced way. No matter what Jaiden is somehow able to turn any situation into something beneficial. On the other hand, Slime is just suffering. Like, he's somehow able to make anything metaphorically blow up, but in a good way. So unpredictable than no plans against Bolas work. It's like aggressive optimism and devastating pessimism combining into a dumpster fire that is also the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. So, yeah, heavy sibling vibes.

I honestly am not quite sure how Foolish fits into all of this. He's like the most and least sane at the same time. Just kinda there. Absolutely part of the found family though.

Pretty much everyone is so down for murder except for Phil. Whenever he goes to bed it just becomes murder hours. Some of them start out with all the intentions for it but not enough battle skills to pull stuff off but the others pretty quickly teach them what they need to know. This is a murder cult but only after their dad goes to bed.

Bolas becomes the most defensive team. As they continue to grow closer they get really protective over each other. After everything that happened around their original base the new one becomes practically a fortress. No one can get away with attacking one of them. This definitely helps with the impression of not being the most powerful while still being the most feared.

I haven't included Carre in this just because I don't know much.

What made you feel like using the term “butch” to describe yourself despite some of your obvious feminine qualities? (This is an absolutely genuine question coming from somebody who is trying their best to figure out “which box” they fit into).

I guess I’m having a hard time figuring out if I’m “butch enough” which I know sounds ridiculous. I know that there’s such a spectrum and not everybody is strictly “butch” or “femme” but I guess I feel called to butchhood. But I invalidate my own feelings by finding all the ways in which I’m “too feminine” for it.

I’m genderqueer as well so it can be hard for me to find the right balance between my masculine and feminine features that make me feel euphoric.

Hey anon, so this is a very good question, and one I really want to take some time with. As such, I will provide two answers. A short copout answer if you don't have the energy to read a lot, and a long answer.

Short answer, and I really hate when I have to pull out this answer but well...

It's no different than gender euphoria in of itself. Each person is different, and it is based off of well, vibes. It's things like how I can be beside my he/they nonbinary friend, let's call him C, in the exact same outfit as him, and all our friends are like "yup, Nomi looks butch, and C looks boy-adjacent". It's vibes, and there's no real easy way to explain it further than that.

Now lovely anon/reader, if you want something a little more... nuanced (and just as inconclusive), strap in. Pun fully intended.

So I've been mulling over this for a few hours already before typing, and of course my overly analytic ass started scripting this whole thing around exploring the history of butch and femme identities, the gender politics of the matter, the racial contexts, etc. before realizing that doesn't answer your question; how did I specifically, a trans-feminine two-spirit person, reach butch being where I felt the most at home in myself despite apparent feminine aspects of myself? Understanding the history, cultural implications, and other nuanced portions of "butch" as an identity was a huge part of how I got there, and so I'll briefly go over that, but it's also important to keep my copout answer in mind as well. You know yourself best. It's well, vibes.

Let's start with the barebones identity of butch. I think a good place to start is understanding that while all butches are masculine, not all mascs are butch. Same with femme vs. feminine. It's something you claim, you embody. It's well, an identity. For many, myself included, it's an inseparable part of ones gender identity to boot. And like all identities, it is often intersectional with other facets of your life. Gender, sexuality, race/ethnicity, culture, etc. For me, Butch ties directly to my Two-Spirit identity. Part of being a Michif (Métis) Two-Spirit person is holding both the masculine and feminine at all times. While not necessarily a woman in the western sense, I feel woman-adjacent. My "feminine spirit" comes from feeling woman-adjacent, and honestly when around other Michif women, like a Michif woman (but that's a conversation for another day). My "masculine spirit" comes from being a butch Michif lesbian, amongst other things. If I had to describe how my gender "feels", Two-Spirit Butch feels honestly the most accurate, even if that doesn't fit into a Western queer lens that nicely. I may have, as you said anon, apparent feminine aspects to myself that counter my masculinity, but part of being Two-Spirit is holding those with love, honor, and compassion. Feminine spirit doesn't negate my queer masculinity, if anything it augments it. But, exploration of my Two-Spirit identity and how it relates to being butch likely won't be of much help to most of the non-indigenous readers.

Let's look at a more Western approach, because Butch is just that, a rather Western queer term. I do want to preface that as a trans-feminine person there are many within queer spaces that believe I do not have the right to claim butch for myself. To them I counter, bugger off terfs. I would also like to point out that while in a modern sense butch more or less refers to a masculine lesbian identity, that was not always the case. Butch for many many years was an identity to describe queer masculinity as a baseline, regardless of lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. Especially in queer BIPOC communities. Butch becoming a lesbian-centric term is much newer within the queer lexicon (with some pointing to white queer culture stealing a term from BIPOC queer culture, but that is a topic I do not have the expertise to go into). While both butch itself, and queer masculinity as a whole have evolved since those times, I think keeping that historical context in mind is important.

To me, part of why I claimed "Butch" specifically is how it relates to non-conformity of expected womanhood. While I do not claim woman in the Western sense, during the early phases of transition, I began by identifying as a woman, and trying to abandon all of masculinity and what it came with. You can find a bit more of how that went in this post. I dove headfirst into femininity and hit my head on the floor of the pool so hard I ended up right back in dysphoria central, just a different kind. But, that exploration of womanhood and femininity were integral in why I claimed butch for myself. I don't think I ever would have claimed it had I not. One of the common factors with every AFAB butch I've met is a rejection of the expectations of womanhood that Western culture thrusts upon them. Personally, I don't think it would have been right for me to claim butch without having first explored Western femininity and it's expectations to the extent I had.

Eventually I finally admitted to myself that, while I knew for certain I wasn't a man, I didn't feel right as a feminine (Western) woman either. So, what was I? I felt more at home, more welcome, and more loved amongst queer women, lesbians especially, than I ever had with queer men. Hard androgyny and genderqueer (which btw I do not identify with genderqueer, not upset with you though) didn't feel right either. There were aspects of classical womanhood from a physical standpoint I knew were in line with myself after many years of HRT. Breasts, my waist line, my now feminine skin texture, my legs, honestly my entire estrogen-sculpted body. Hell, while I haven't gotten full vaginoplasty for medical reasons, I would if I could, Stone Top identity aside. I felt at home around women and lesbians, as a Michif woman/lesbian, but not in femininity. As described in the post I linked in the previous paragraph, the first true step was reclaiming masculinity, and making room for healthy queer masculinity separate from gender.

I want to bring up this exploration of the meaning behind the colours of the lesbian flag for a moment. For me, Butch and all it encompasses, is a part of all of these. Gender non-conformity I think is self explanatory. I am a walking defiance of gender norms and expectation at this point, and butchness as a whole is as well. Independence can mean many different things to different people, but I feel self sufficient as a butch. I feel competent. I feel secure. Mostly importantly though, it is an identity I feel independent in. For years and years I let my expression of gender and sexuality be defined by those around me. Past partners, friends, family, coworkers, etc. I could not claim butch until I took a step away from all of those. I stopped letting them dictate who I was, and let myself learn who I was independently. Community and butch is always going to be linked. Butch is a community-centric identity. When I tell someone in the queer community I'm butch, they know what it means. In a single word I can describe large swathes of my experience and how I relate to the world. But it also comes with community role and responsibilities. Butches and Femmes protect eachother. Butches provide safe masculinity in queer spaces that heals wounds for so many people, including other butches. Butches take up space in a room to ensure other non-butch women have space. We protect, we heal, we love. Butch love is so fucking unique and important to a community. Butch comes with a community meaning, but also community role and responsibility, and to me that is a big part of why I feel comfortable claiming it. Serenity and Peace is so many things. Both internal and external. I have peace within myself as a butch. I feel more peace with myself now than I did for so many years. When I finally said it outloud, said I was a butch lesbian, and people affirmed that, it was like a weight I never even knew existed was lifted. I've felt happier in my time openly being butch than I have in ages, and everyone around me as noticed it too. Friends, family, coworkers all comment on just how happy, confident, and at peace internally I've been. Love and Sex this is a doozy of a topic that I truthfully do not have the desire to explore right now. It is important, but I am not in the headspace for it. But butch love is unique in itself. As for sex, well. Please refer to the wild swathes of queer theory and discourse out there. As an off-hand example relating to myself though, see Stone Butch. Unique Relationships to Womanhood/Feminity. I explicitly wanted to link these together. As a Two-Spirit butch, and a trans-femme one at that, my relationship to womanhood and femininity is unique, complicated, and at times inexplicable. The fact that I can say I don't identify as a Western woman, but with other Michif woman I do feel like a woman, is one confusing way. The fact that butch being a gender identity to me is another. But one aspect I want to explore is this notion that masculine and feminine are antithetical to eachother, when I don't think they need to be. I'm not androgynous. I hold both masculine and feminine, not a middle thing. My masculinity is queer masculinity, and I genuinely think queer masculinity MUST be in some way shape or form partially feminine. There is a softness to queer masculinity. A vulnerability. A tenderness. Queer masculinity is often gentle, loving, soothing. All things associated with Western notions of femininity, not masculinity. But queer masculinity, non-Western masculinity, makes room for those things. You wouldn't look at a mother bear protecting her cubs and say "that's not motherly behaviour, that's not womanhood". My relationship to my feminine self is in relationship to my masculine self. They are tied, and being butch, being a soft butch at that, encompasses it.

I think finally a topic I've been dancing around, though alluded to multiple times, is that first copout answer. Vibes, and gender euphoria as a part of vibes. From the vibes standpoint, what I have to offer is this anecdotal piece. When I told my friends that I was mulling around with the idea of claiming butch, basically every single one went "... yeah? You didn't know that?" Off of vibes alone every single one of my queer friends already knew I was butch. From behaviour, to what I was most comfortable in fashion wise, to how I related to others, they all knew that my "vibes" were butch already, well before I had even remotely considered it. As for the other hard to define aspect... As a non-cis person yourself anon, you mentioned it already. Gender euphoria is a weirdly difficult to attain thing. I spent years on years of experimentation, exploration, and rumination trying to find my euphoria. Trying to find the spot I'm in now, where I find myself loving what's in the mirror every single day. Butch got me to the point that I legitimately look in my mirror and love what I see Every. Single. Day. I take selfies of myself because I love what I look like, even in just a hoodie in sweats, every day now. I put more casual care into how I look now, because I love myself, more than I ever did before. I take better care of my health. I have more self confidence. I'm happier and more stable emotionally. Hell, I'm a better friend, coworker, and community member now as a butch than I ever had capacity to be beforehand. It's not just me noticing that too. Near everyone in my life started making note of it anytime I took another step into fully claiming butch for myself. The biggest reason I feel right in claiming butch is that frankly, how can you look at secure, holistic, stable happiness like this and not say it's right.

There's a lot more I want to say here, but I've already been at this for nearly three hours, and that's on top of the two hours I spent just thinking on the matter to boot. I hope I was able to answer your question at least partially anon, and that it helps you with your own gender expression/identity journey. I think the only other thing I want to say is that it's okay if what you identify with now changes. It doesn't invalidate what you feel now, just like how you are now doesn't invalidate what you felt was right for your say, 5 years ago. Human experience and identity evolves, it grows, it changes. If you feel right with butch now, excellent. If you end up realizing that it was just a stepping stone in discovering your unique patch of gender euphoria, that is just as excellent. Rootin' for ya anon 💕

Blood In Your Hands Part 2

🤍The ChoGo Love Story 🤍

After hiding her identity to a strange man named Choso Kamo, KyiGo finally started to realize how important Choso is becoming in her life. The love and connection they start to share will determine if her life is worth sacrificing for him.

Art by AliyahArtss on Instagram 🤍

After about a fifteen minute walk, this Cayla finally led me back to her home. I was surprised as I walked in by the home, which was a mix between modern and cozy with an older-style vibe to it. As I walked through the living room area, my eyes seemed to dart around everything. I couldn't help it. I was curious.

After taking our shoes off and placing them by the door, she decided to lead me upstairs to show me her room. Which was a cozy yet somewhat messy space that seemed to reflect her personality. I traced my hands against the curved wallpaper that was placed smoothly on the walls as we walked to the room next to hers. It was a spare room, with a small, yet comfortable looking bed that could fit two people. It was laced with satin black sheets and black curtains that covered the windows. “This is where you'll be sleeping tonight. If that's okay with you..” she said to me in a low tone, as she opened the door wider for me to get a better view.

I walked into the room reviewing every inch of it before I turned to her and nodded quietly. It was a small space, but I had to admit it looked comfortable and warm. A bit of a contrast to the overall dark feel of the house.

As I looked over to her, I was almost shocked by how much trust you were placing in me to be here with you. I was a dangerous person, but only I knew that and even if she noticed that about me, especially by the smell of blood she sniffed on me earlier, it didn't phase her.

“Thank you for trusting me.. I promise.. nothing bad will happen.” I whispered to you as I looked down at the floor, almost in disbelief that you still trusted me like this.

She giggled slightly at my remark. “I didn't think anything bad ‘Would’ happen. I was just being a nice person and helping someone who needed it.”

I nodded as I could feel my expression on my face softening a little. “I have a question for you.. if you don't mind..”

I notice her eyebrow lift as if I didn't ask enough questions already. “Sure.. what is it?”

At this exact moment.. I was hella nervous. I ended up shifting my weight a little bit before speaking.

“If you don't mind, why are you letting me stay with you..? I asked, looking at her with genuine curiosity.

“Like I said before… I saw someone who really needed it. I saw a man who needed somebody. I mean.. what else was I supposed to do?” I could see the look on her face start to turn into pure guilt by what would have happened if she had just left me at the park. That was the last thing I wanted her to feel. But I could feel my eyes widen and my chest flutter at the same time. Even If she didn't spell out exactly what she meant, I caught her drift.

Without saying anything more to her, I stepped forward and gently placed both hands on her cheeks. I then leaned my head forward and slowly brushed my lips against hers. This time I noticed her eyes close, as the kiss was gentle and soft. I wanted to show how appreciative I was of you and this was the only way I could think of doing it.

I opened my eyes to notice hers were still closed, as they then slowly began to open.

She was the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. I felt like this moment was literally going in slow motion as I pulled my face from her. Her dark skin with a light hue. Her beautiful thick lips that felt like the most gentle pillows you could ever lay your head over. And there was something dark about her aura that drew me into her. I couldn't quite seem to pull myself away, nor did I want to.

I noticed her deep brown eyes flutter as she stared at me in mine. “I'm sorry.. Cayla.. it's just.. I couldn't help myself…” I whispered softly as my thumb started to caress her right cheek. In that split second, she closed her eyes again, leaning in kissing me back softly. I could feel my breath being to hitch in my chest as my eyes stayed open as I returned the kiss.

The kiss was soft and short as she swiftly broke it and looked back up at me. I couldn't help but smile as I pulled back, my gaze and my attention fully on you. I could feel my heart speed up as I let go of your cheeks and stepped back to give you some space. Being cautious not to take this any further than where it was already going.

“What.. was that for?” she whispered, her body language now being more calm as she stood in front of me. Her face was just as red as the shade of lipstick that covered her lips. I could feel my face warm up as you looked directly at me. I had to turn my face away from her to keep my urges from persuading me to go any further.

I quickly crossed my arms and slightly turned my body to the side. “ I.. just …felt that I should show you.. how thankful I am..” I was definitely trying to keep my emotions under control at this point but I could feel that rush that I was having toward you and I still couldn't fully understand why. Why was this happening to me? And with a human? A human woman at that..

“Do you think.. it's strange?”

She then gave me the strangest look as if she wanted to burst out into laughter. I could feel my head leaning back as my lips sneered on the side of my mouth, ready for the disappointment of her answer.

She then let out the cutest laugh, looking me directly in the eyes, placing her hands on her thick hips. “Ha! It is strange. Usually a hand shake would do. You must be drawn to my lips to keep wanting to kiss me the way you do.”

I couldn't help but blush and take another step back again, letting out a small sigh. “I know.. but.. your lips are just so beautiful.” I responded with a slight nervous edge to my voice. Dropping my hands to my sides. At this point, I couldn't keep my emotions under control as I could feel my breathing speed up tremendously.

“Well thank you Choso. I'm going to get some things ready for you to take a shower, okay? You can stay here if you want and make yourself comfortable before I come back.” I nodded as she then finally walked out the room disappearing into the hallway.

I wanted to keep looking at you , but I knew that might be inappropriate. Standing in the room, I turned the light on and closed the bedroom door behind me and sat gently on the bed. I leaned back and took a deep breath as I thought about how beautiful red lips were and the feeling of kissing you. I then threw my head back and looked up at the ceiling.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” I whispered in a low tone to myself. “I'm a death womb, a curse created for the soul purpose of killing and I'm in a woman's house, kissing her… and wanting to do it again..” I then took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I leaned forward, resting my arms over my legs. I opened my eyes and looked down at the floor, really in deep thought about what I was doing.

After a couple minutes passed, you knocked on the door and came in with a few towels and a change of clothes for me. A pair of black sweats and some matching socks. I stood up off the bed as your tiny stature walked over to me. “ Here you go, and you have a shower right over there in the corner. So you know, your own private bathroom.” You said smiling to me. Your smile was contagious. I couldn't help but smile back as I could feel myself blushing, as I received the items out of your hands.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” I could feel this feeling of just being drawn to you physically, but in a way I never felt before. You seemed so much more than just a female that wanted to help me at a time of need. You were a goddess and I was nothing more than a lowly cruel cursed spirit.

“Come downstairs when you're finished, okay. I'm fixing us some Pho.” She said walking back towards the door to exit the bedroom. Her fingers wrapping around the door frame.

My eyes widened, I was so confused by the offer of food you were willing to give to me. “You're.. making food for ME?” I asked with an expression that was a mix of gratitude, surprise and disbelief. I could feel my voice becoming shaky as I quickly nodded my head. “I-I'll be right down.”

She let out another small giggle that coughed me to almost stand on my toes and sent shivers down my spine. “Yes.. I am. You're hungry aren't you?” She then gave me the purest smile and walked out the room. “Take your time in the shower. If you need anything.. call me.”

I nodded and smiled widely. I was almost surprised that you were showing so much affection and care for me. I've never had anyone show this much appreciation for me at all in all the years I've been on this earth. “I'll take my time..” I said as I heard you begin to walk down the stairs. I placed the essentials I had in my hands next to me as I sat down on the bed for a minute. I threw myself back on the bed again and looked up at the ceiling thinking about what just happened. I felt like this whole situation was a dream. An almost perfect woman who invited me to stay with her after just meeting me. This had to be better than any romantic fantasy that I ever imagined. But in the back of my mind, there was still something about her that I couldn't put my finger on.

I finally took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down as I stood up from the bed and headed over to the bathroom.

After switching on the water, and ensuring the temperature was just right for me, I undressed, placed my clothes on the floor and entered the shower. As I stepped under the spray, I could feel so much stress just wash away from my body as I closed my eyes, letting the hot water run from head to toe. As I stood there, I began to recall everything that had happened today, how I had ran into her, how she brought me home with her, and the kiss you gave back to me. I could feel my heart begin to speed up again with just the thought of you. The way you were caring for me, the way you offered me to stay in your home.

I couldn't be falling for her… I couldn't be. That just doesn't make any sense…

As Choso was taking a shower upstairs, I decided to go ahead and take care of myself downstairs in the spare bathroom I had near the kitchen.

I went ahead and took a decent hot shower that took about ten minutes. I knew by the time I was out he would probably still be under the spray in the upstairs bathroom. I could tell he went through and was going through a lot at the moment and I didn't want to put more on him that he couldn't handle right now.

Once I exited the shower, I threw on some baggy shirt, no bra and some silk pants that flowed when I walked. Even though I had a stranger in the house with me, I still wanted to be comfortable in my own surroundings. But I couldn't help but wonder if he was doing okay.

I was still lost in thought as the hot water ran over my pale skin. The heat and steam was so comforting to the point where I could feel my muscles loosen back up. It felt like pure heaven, and I honestly didn't want it to end.

“Choso.. are you okay in there?”

I immediately snapped out of my trance, realizing that she was standing outside of the door. “I'm fine.. Im.. just taking my time.” I responded over the running water, hoping you couldn't hear past the lie I just told.

“Oh.. okay… I was just checking on you. I'm still here if you need me.” I could hear her footsteps slowly walk away from the door as I let out a sigh as my breath started to shake.

“Ill.. be out soon.” I responded as I tried to remain as casual as possible.

“Okay.. like I said I'm here if you need anything.” I could see your feet finally disappear from underneath the doorway. I let out a sigh of relief as I heard the door close behind you as you left the room. Your presence has such a calming effect on me that it made me nervous in a good way when you were around me. I turned the shower back on and continued to rinse the remaining suds off my body.

After a few minutes, I finally shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. I managed to finally calm myself down even further while I was bathing which was a surprise even to me. Stepping out, it felt like the world was suddenly in an entirely different light, as if I was able to leave my old world of curses and sorcery and just experience the bliss of this exact moment.

This was a moment that I dreamed of for a long time, that I've always wanted for myself. But who knew that it would take someone else to give it to me in return. Someone I didn't expect to come into my life at the most random of all moments. As a curse, I felt like I didn't deserve this at all. I felt like I wasn't worthy of you.

I didn't deserve you…

could i have some angsty/comfort-ish headcanons about a gn reader who doesn’t feel like they deserve praise or affection, and tfp ratchet, knockout + breakdown (poly, if that’s okay), and starscream comforting them?

[ human!reader post includes: TFP Ratchet, Knockout+Breakdown, and Starscream

hii thanks for the request. this might be OOC and a little...idk, I'm not that good with emotions so I generally went with some things that might fit them, hopefully

TFP Ratchet

He's not a bot that's usually too affectionate, so when you express the way you're feeling he may think it's because of him. Very much in disbelief though, how can you feel unworthy of something you very much deserve?

Either way, he understands you need support when you have those moments of self-doubt

Really encourages you to talk about it if you want to, despite his gruff attitude on the exterior, with you, he patiently listens and tries to help you see your strengths and accomplishments

I mean come on, you're unlike anyone he's ever met and his favorite human + his significant other!!

Will pause anything he was doing to spend more time with you and give you the support you need. Preferably holding you near his chest, close to his spark or near his face. Generally lets you just curl up next to him

His reassuring isn't super lovey dovey but it's genuine

TFP Knockout + Breakdown

You get showered in compliments as soon as you're feeling down

Knockout is more direct and might scoff, don't be silly darling?? You're wonderful and both Breakdown and I love you,,

Breakdown agrees and gently picks you up to emphasize their point. He says you're stuck with the both of them and he wouldn't have it any other way

I feel like both of their love languages are pretty much physical affection, whether it's smothering you in robot hugs or simply vibing with you on their shoulder. To hear that you think you don't deserve it, they're in disbelief

Knockout is the busier one, constantly repairing bots in the medbay and such. Breakdown gets sent on missions too, however, they both make time out of their day to spend it with you. Not that they didn't, but they pay extra attention to their actions and make sure you're happy and secure. Insists that they'll do this for you ANYTIME!!

if someone on the Nemesis is making you feel this way, Knockout will make sure they don't wake up from their next appointment will keep you a safe distance away from them with the help of Breakdown

TFP Starscream

Not the most empathetic but he definitely gets how you feel. He probably feels the same way tbh. These are the few times where he actually acts sincere, or at least as much as he can

If you bring it up to him, he'll stay quiet and listen. Honestly, he understands how vulnerable this moment can be and will keep his comments to himself

Insists how you've not only earned his respect, but he's literally in love with you and that means so much already (he actually thinks you're great, brave and so kind to him...pls he thinks does not deserve you)

"You.. deserve all the affection I give you. And I'll make sure you get it, whether you think you deserve it or not." (he does that little awkward smile he did with knockout in that one episode idk)

Certainly isn't the most...graceful with his words but can occasionally say something genuinely sweet ^

Depending on how long you've been together, his physical affection may seem a little awkward or either very intimate. He's either barely figuring out how to hold you close or holds you up to his faceplates, servos carefully shielding you from falling somehow.

Personally he knows these things take time to get over so he reminds you that you're loved and appreciated..in his own ways

Also if these emotions/thoughts stem from someone else's faults...the revenge has already been plotted and is currently in progress

dating frat! kyle headcanons please?? ily 💕💕

Dating Kyle Spencer - Campus Fratboy Headcanons

note: i love this! it's a lil quickie i can put out before i post my next story!

+++

He's really affectionate in public. Especially around his frat brothers. He treats you like his prized possession, but not in a toxic manipulative way. He's just really proud he bagged a babe like you.

And by showing you off, I definitely mean he tries to make his frat bros jealous of what he has with you. He talks you up to them and tells them how cool you are (your achievements, things he likes about you).

In private he's even sweeter. Very vulnerable with his emotions. He comes right out and says what he's feeling no matter what.

He will open up to you about anything. Fights/arguments are typically very productive. He's a good communicator and lays his thoughts out on the table for you.

Not afraid to cry in front of you either. He isn't afraid to curl up into a ball on your lap and sob into the crook of your neck. But he's also very supportive of your emotions too. Will do anything in his power to make you feel better. Total softie.

Frequently buys you flowers/food/trinkets he thinks you'd like whenever he gets the chance. Always thinking of you. He remembers the small things, too.

You said you were out of your moisturizer last night? He shows up with it the next day, correct brand and all, because he knew you had class and would be too busy to get to the store.

Definitely is already planning your wedding. Like who will be there, where it will be, the whole nine. He's a commitment king. He doesn't do flings. When he's dating you he's in it for the long haul.

100% has the worst sex playlist on Earth. Like he made one, which is cute, but it's all 80s yacht rock and classic rock he was raised on.

Fav songs include: Hold The Line by Toto, Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp, Do Ya by Electric Light Orchestra, and I'm Still Standing by Elton John.

Total uncle vibes. He's a 20-year-old uncle. Makes dad jokes and is super corny. If you're in a store together and a song he likes starts playing, he will full-on start singing and dancing to it in an attempt to make you laugh.

Like he will twirl you and everything.

A total people-pleaser. You have to have multiple stern talks with him about doing whatever his frat brothers ask him to do. He just wants to fit in, but you see their tendency to walk all over him and take advantage of his kindness.

That being said, he is totally cool with making a fool of himself in public. He laughs at himself a lot.

He's really book-smart, but not always street-smart. Common sense sometimes evades him. He'll tutor you in biology but then forget to use oven mitts when pulling something hot out of the oven.

Very intimate in more ways than sex. It isn't a top priority for him. He is very touch-oriented. Every part of him wants to be touching you at all times. He would live him your clothes if he could.

He's big on neck kisses. They're his weakness.

Whenever you hold hands he makes a point to stroke the back of your hand with his thumb. When you cuddle, he's playing with your hair. When you're studying together, his arm is around you, or his hand is on your forearm.

Big on eye contact. He likes to look into your eyes during intimate moments. It helps him feel grounded/stay connected to you. Gives him a sense of control.

He is super helpful. Will always carry heavy things for you. Built the Ikea bookshelf in your apartment for you all by himself. When he's around your family, he helps with cooking, cleaning, whatever.

Makes a point to sit next to your grandmother/grandfather. Really respects his elders. Has genuine conversations with them and is super patient. Truly listens to their life stories.

Has a folder in his phone of pictures of you. He's always taking candid shots of you. He likes the non-posed photos just as much as the posed ones.

Don't even get me started on the selfies. He will send you 5 million silly selfies when he's bored. Whenever you hang out he's taking dumb selfies with you. Basically, he figured out his phone had a front camera and has been entertained by it ever since.

+++

I HAVE SO MANY MORE SO LMK IF YOU WANT A PT 2 OR ANOTHER CHARACTER!!! THESE ARE FUN

*breaks into ur askbox through a plaster wall* hi i am genuinely fascinated by how you do patterns/ornaments in your art. I don't have like, the slightest bit of patience to do those, but I'm still hella interested to know how ppl do them. Do you plan them out or is it 'fuck it we ball' type of process? Do you usually go into more symbolic meanings (like with the floral ornaments) or add whatever fits aesthetically? Also are there any particular artists that inspire you when drawing them?

("good luck getting to me i'm behind 7 firewalls" meme voice) good lucky getting to [my blog] i'm behind 7 [layers of bricks]

hiii ok let's get serious now

while it'd be easier to tell me about my #process on a case by case basis (so if you have an image/images in particular you'd like to know how i did the patterns of i could likely be more precise in my response) the Vast Majority of the time truly i am ballin. at most I might sketch out where i want Big Pieces, and where i'll fill out with smaller things However Comma there are motifs that keep coming back. and i'm sorry to tell you this. one of them is The Patience To Do So. in no order whatsoever:

floral motifs. i never go for something that Actively Looks Like A Real Flower on purpose: the language of flowers is very dependant of era and place, and a flower that means [x] in 1910s Russia might not mean the same in 1870s England.

vegetal motifs in general, so leaves, vagyuely ivy-looking stuff, stuff inspired by mushrooms & fungi, etc

animal motifs, typically associated with the characters i'm drawing. i might draw stylized birds, wings, horns, serpents/snakes, scales, etc.

eyes, mouths, wounds, or anything that looks kinda ()-like. it can also. look quite yonic depending on the context so. yeah you could say i draw those motifs.

anatomical motifs, inspired by scientific diagrams of the epidermis, of cells, of different organs and body parts, etc. i rely a lot on [this] (Henry Gray’s Anatomy of the Human Body) because you have a lot of engravings for every body part you could think of.

random motifs: spikes, spirals, dots, waves, curls, blobs, "ladders",...

i do equal parts symbol & vibes. as mentioned above i'll often fit in animals that i associate with the characters i have drawn, add more anatomical stuff depending on the characters,... but a lot of the "filler" squiggles are pure vibes. i use them to connect symbols together. also most of the characters i draw with these types of patterns are in equal parts anatomy of the body and anatomy of the vegetal so truly i'm tailoring it here.

as for artists i'm inspired by those are the two i always mention:

Ernst Haeckel especially his Kunstformen der Natur (<- link to the Gallica digitalization, but if you google search that you'll also see plenty of good images). He was mostly a biologist & his KdN is drawings he did within his research, a bunch and i mean a buuunnnnccchhh of very beautiful drawings of so many lifeforms on earth. i often reuse his drawings of hexacorallia in peterstakh artworks. those types of artworks if you see what i'm seeing.

i'm also incredibly inspired by Solange Knopf's artworks, and routinely joke that i keep being inspired by her art. i loooove how she does it very freeflowing, packed with so much details

again, i'd probably have more to say if you pointed to an image in particular, but for the most part this is it chrewly!

you must learn patience... you must learn to enjoy doing the squiggles... this is the only way... THANK YOU FOR QUASTION

PAC: The Moon

The Moon is my all-time favorite card. Representing all that is unknown, she calls us to embrace what we don't know. Accept that some things will never be explained in a way our conscious minds can grasp. The unconscious, the truths and illusions it holds. The often hazy way our intuition and instincts work. She is a mirror, reflecting back at us our longings and fears. What does The Moon have to tell you? Let's fuck around and find out!

as always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Dog, the Crab/Lobster? or the Wolf and head on to your reading.

The Dog

Your cards: 8 Cups Rx, Temperance Rx, 5 Wands Rx, 9 Wands, Page of Pentacles Rx, The Star, The Emperor Rx, Queen of Swords, The Moon, and the back of the deck is The Devil Rx.

The number 8 might be important to y'all. Are y'all like REALLY self-controlled? Self-contained, I'm hearing? What I think that means is y'all do your best to keep yourself, the true YOU, restrained for whatever reason. I'm getting that some of y'all may be neurodivergent. Hold on, Rainbow in the Dark by Dio started playing, so not to be too on the nose but some of y'all are LGBT+. Whether one or both of those are you or not, this whole group has a MAJOR issue expressing themselves authentically. With Temperance in reverse it's like you intentionally make yourself 'unbalanced' in a way, to avoid conflict big or small. And there's this vibe of "when x situation is over, I'll be the real me." In some situations, that could be true. Leaving controlling parents when you go to college for example. But, if you came to this group, I don't think that's your situation. At least not entirely. Holy fuck, a dove just flew by my window and scared the shit out of me. So, doves may be a sign for y'all. Anyway. It looks like, if you came to this group. You have restrained yourself to the point of atrophy. You've been held back. Held yourself back from being You, that you're not even sure who that is. You think that once this situation exits your life, you'll just suddenly be that person. That person you want to be and feel you are deep down. The person you've always imagined yourself to be. Thing is sweetheart, who you are isn't just a jacket you can put on when you feel the time is right. You're not just a switch you can flick and become yourself. You have to grow who you are/ want to be. You have to build yourself up. Even Dr. Frakenstein had to build the creature before he could hit the switch and scream 'It's ALIVE!" (Not that I'm saying you're a creature or anything. unless you want to be, you do you.) Actually, that may be a better analogy than I thought. You have to dig up the parts of you that you buried, hopefully not in a graveyard. Put them together, see what still fits, see what doesn't. You may need to find some new parts where the old ones don't fit anymore. You build yourself by trying out the things you think you'll be into, and experimenting like a mad scientist. Try new things out, keep what works, scrap what doesn't. I'm not seeing anything about it being dangerous for you to try to be fully you. More so there's a fear of what others will think. ( I don't know every situation though, keep yourself safe) Y'all may have always just been what was expected of you, never really thinking if it was something you genuinely wanted. I think the reason why Frankenstein came up so strongly is that y'all feel like this horrible, awkward, ugly thing when you do something new to you. Y'all may not start something if you think you'll be bad at it. Y'all could be incredibly critical of yourselves. Not gonna lie to ya babe. You will be bad at some things. You will try things you thought you would love and end up hating them. You'll love things you'd thought you would hate. You will be wrong and sometimes that's a good thing. Winning is no fun if you don't lose too. The losing is what makes the winning worth it. And honey, you have an amazing opportunity here: You get to discover who YOU really are. You're going to get to learn so much shit about yourself and it's going to be beautiful. The Moon is telling you all of this, all of that hidden beauty you're unaware of is going to come to light. So, let yourself go a lil wild. And I don't mean the stereotypical wild that you see everywhere. I mean wild FOR YOU. It's okay if wild experimentation for you is joining a book club. Hell, if the stereotypical wild is your normal, maybe spending some time with yourself is experimental. Listen to music you never thought you'd be into. Wear something that's a little 'too much'. It's all okay. You can stop cutting yourself down to whatever size you feel you 'should' be. I believe in y'all.

The Crab/Lobster

Your cards are: 4 Wands, 4 Swords, Judgement, 2 Pentacles Rx, 5 Pentacles, and on the bottom of the deck the 2 of Swords.

Sweetheart, this one may be a little intense, okay? First off y'all need a nap or at least a break. You're overworked and the thing is y'all are comfortable being overworked. And now you're like 'Ash, this ain't comfortable at all wtf'. Let me explain. Humans are extremely adaptable, we can get used to pretty much anything. Downside of that is when you get too used to something, it becomes familiar, safe, and yes even comfortable. We've all seen it, we've all done it. There's no shame in being human. However, just because you shouldn't feel ashamed of it doesn't mean you shouldn't try and fix it. Cause all of y'all are in a situation like this. Maybe it's not work-related, could be school or a relationship. Could just be a cycle or pattern that you keep repeating and can't figure out why. Now I want to be clear here. I am not saying whatever this is, is your fault. Some situations we're responsible for, and some we get pushed into. Some cycles are generations in the making, and some are our own shitty habits. That's life. This reading is to shift your attention to these patterns so we can break them and do better. I feel like y'all may have an inkling about what this pattern is. I think it's been coming into your awareness over the past few weeks or months. All of y'all are different and will have different cycles to break. So, I can't get any specifics. You're in a sort of awakening moment it seems. (Funny cause the first thing I said was that y'all need a nap) This cycle is going to become painful in a way. You're outgrowing it. It's going to become clear how harmful this has been for you. There's going to be a bit of grieving happening as you realize this. The kind of grief that comes with the knowledge of all the ways you've held yourself down, hurt yourself, and held yourself back. The grief of knowing you deserved better. You'll need to let yourself grieve but not get lost in it. Because while that's important, it's the next bit that's going to get you the farthest. You get to break the pattern. Unlearn the cycles. You get to move into a new part of your life that's not familiar but that's fun. Enjoyable and not just comfortable but decadent. It'll be hard at first to break the pattern. (that's why you need to rest now, not later) Our brains are wired for repetition but soon breaking the pattern will be the pattern. I'm so, so proud of y'all, group two. It's going to be beautiful where y'all go from here.

The Wolf

your cards are: 6 Cups Rx, 8 Swords, 5 Swords, The Moon Rx, The High Priestess, 7 Wands and the back of the deck is The Queen of Wands

How are my fighters doing? Cause y'all pulling the cards for this one was ROUGH. Usually, that means the reading is something you don't wanna hear or you already know and are fighting off. What's interesting is the whole time I was shuffling I knew the High Priestess was going to come out for y'all and she kept peeking out and hiding again. Cards kept flying out all over the place, I'm talking a shit ton would fall out at once I'd put them back and it would happen again. But The High Priestess didn't come out at all until I was finally able to pull an actual reading. What it felt like was that y'all have all these ideas of how this reading will go, ideas of what you need to hear, what you expect to get. You're actually drowning out your actual intuition. You may also have daydreams or fantasies about how your intuition will work, and what you'll see. I think you may be so deep in these daydreams at times that you're disconnected from your surroundings and even when you are getting something psychically, it can't get through to you. For some of you, it's not daydreaming as much as overthinking. Either way, y'all are a bit in your own head and it's distracting you from your intuitive gifts. Which of course is going to make you doubt them even more. Babe, I'm sorry if this is a little harsh. You just seem to be beating yourself up a bit for not being as good as you think you should be. I'm hearing these sort of self-criticisms about how you should be a 'better' intuitive? That you're not a 'real' intuitive, not a 'real' tarot reader, not a 'real' psychic, not a 'real' whatever because oh you should be able to do this or that and you can't so it's not real. Or you don't have intuitive hits daily so you're faking it all. Or you're not clairvoyant/clairaudient/clairsentient soo you'll never be a real psychic. Ya wanna know what that is? That's just a bunch of bullshit, right there. Let me tell y'all a lil something. First off EVERYONE is psychic/intuitive to some degree. Even if they only can remember having one intuitive hit and that's it. Now, not everyone has the same gifts, or psychic skills if you will. Not every psychic/intuitive will talk to the dead. Not all of us will be clairvoyant. Some psychics are clairvoyant but can't read tarot to save their life. Some people have multiple gifts, others have one. Some gifts are random but are not any less for it. For example, my sister knows when something we've been looking for is at a thrift store, she knows which one and where in the store it is and will walk right to it. It's awesome. Being 'more psychic' ain't all it's made out to be anyway. Believe me, it can be wonderful but it's also rough. I know a few really 'strong' psychics who have intentionally cut themselves off from their gifts because of things they've experienced. I myself have come close. All of that to say, you are a 'real' intuitive. Promise. You don't have to push yourself into something you're not sure about to be more 'legit'. You don't have to have all the skills, all the gifts, to be proud of what you can do. What you do have to do is stop fantasizing about it and actually BE it. Stop worrying about all you can't do and really hone what you CAN. We all have different gifts because the world needs all different things. Your gifts are yours for a reason, because you, specifically can add something to the world with it. Now, there's another message here maybe just for one person: It's your choice to embrace these gifts or not. If you do not feel comfortable with them you can let them go, it's okay. You're not ungrateful or doomed if you don't utilize them. Like I said, these sorts of gifts can be rough, and downright horrifying. It's okay to want something easier. And yes, you will be able to lead a fulfilling life without them.

Who am I destined to love?💌☁️🔗 [Soulmate reading] (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream🤗 We will be doing a reading on your destined lover!💗 hope you find your message🌸💫

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the love you long for, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸🌟

Pile 1🦊

Pile 2🦢

Pile 3🛋

Pile 4🎹

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💌

Pile 1🦊

Sign energy: Forgiveness, Anger, True feelings, Fame, Singer, 3rd house, Cancer, Moon, North node, Gemini, 🪐🧩🌃🛎

☁️Your energy: You guys have a fiery energy about you, very kind and fun loving. You are very emotional and tend to have outbursts if your emotional state is not safe or well taken care of. You could love singing and I'm getting a more specific message that someone in this pile has a famous parent/mom, a singer mom if there are any of you in my pile 1😆 You get frustrated easily but those feelings come from your true heart, and you express yourself openly and genuinely. I feel like this pile doesn't back down when angry💢 You could be a night owl, prefer the night time. I feel like you're more in touch with your emotions at night, like cinderella I'm hearing "when the clock strikes twelve" and suddenly you are your true self at night, your openly emotional real self.♡ You may feel inclined to become famous or a public speaker, sharing your thoughts and ideas with those who need it the most.

💘Who you're destined to love: Fox, Neck, Taurus, Gemini, Fix, Leo, South node, Air, Aries, Water, 🎡🦀🍭🚀 A very fun and gorgeous person awaits my pile 1, if you were drawn to the fox here it came out again so this is your confirmation this is definitely the pile!! This could be someone from your past, you will feel a sense of familiarity with this person. They have a more so direct approach to communication and think fast. Very witty, intelligent and a natural problem solver. Taurus, Gemini, Leo, or Aries placements, they may have Sun conjunct Venus or Mercury I feel. They have a very attractive neck, especially with the Taurus energy. As for the purpose of this destiny, I'm seeing as someone you are destined to fix, almost help in a way, your love is meant to heal this person on an emotional level. They will be so glad they met you, like you were fated to help them. It's giving heaven sent angel vibes <3 They will see you as an answer to their prayers, and things will only look up from there.😊 This destiny is an emotional journey for you both, connecting through mutual understanding and comforting one another is the true reason for this connection. It will heal and nurture your hearts greatly.♡ It will be a fun, pleasant and in some ways childlike relationship made of pure love and trust.

💌Messages from them: I'll never forget you, I finally get it, Our love is a game, I know exactly how you like it, I see you, Extra cards: Daily, Follower, Angel, Green, Crazy, 8th house, Earth, Chiron, Water, Sun, (Guardian angel vibes🥺💫)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the fox emoji~🦊 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🦢

Sign energy: Cafe, Long term, Endurance, Stomach, Hair, North node, Aquarius, Gemini, ⛵😂🌉🤍

☁️Your energy: You guys have such a graceful vibe, I see so much pure cleansed energy with this pile. Elegant swan energy for you guys <3 Most of you in this pile are looking for long term commitment, so you may be hoping that the one you are destined to love is someone you will be with for a long time. Some of you work as a barista/job at a cafe☕💕 Your hair is gorgeous and people talk about it a lot.💇‍♀️ Aquarius and Gemini placements overall air signs but I'm getting such indirect Virgo energy from this pile omgggg any Virgo's in my lovely pile 2??😂 Btw this emoji!!😂😂😂 Do you use it alot?? Could be significant for any of this pile, you may laugh a lot and your laugh is very light and beautiful. I'm seeing a future of laughing and happiness with this pile I feel like that is also your destiny to just, laugh and have fun. Just loosen up a bit and enjoy the little things that make you happy, being grateful is meant for you my pile 2's <3 You have such an angelic presence about you, so admirable and full of kindness and beauty. You may want to meet your future but don't like the steps to get there, but I'm hearing only of you endure the journey of your hopes can you arrive at the destination of fulfilling them. Haha maybe that resonates with some of you, I feel like you may drink coffee or tea often. Cafes are your jam!

💘Who you're destined to love: Comfort, Love, Shame, Present, Blind, 12th house, Lilith, Eros, Neptune, Air, 🤣🤒😤🧲 Okaaay my pile 2's we have some interesting energy going on with this 👏person👏 You are definitely destined with this person romantically, I'm hearing fated connection. This is someone who is seemingly new or not experienced with love, they make mistakes and don't know what they're doing most of the time.🥺 They also have so many fantasies about it some that they are shameful of or embarrassed to meet, they have a some darker needs too in a romantic connection. Many of their turn on's in a partner are subconscious fears aswell. I get the vibe this person isn't the best at communiting their desires, it makes them feel vulnerable and out of place like a fish out of water. Pisces/12th house and air placements are possible. They are a dreamer, they have this "where am I? Who am I?" type of vibe😂😂 like they are just one with the energies, I feel like this person is very in tune with the spiritual side of life themselves. Your person is very attractive in a soft aesthetic way, ethereal and beyond physical charms that rope you in like a buoy in the crashing waves of the sea🌊 You are destined to love this person with all your heart, to cherish eachother on levels deeper many can experience. A soulmate connection is likely, and this is such a deep and contemporary romance as well as passionate. You will fulfill many desires with this person, because they take you to higher places you can't explain. I was also getting some "spicy"👀 messages coming out in this pile but since this is not an 🔞 reading I was like 👁👄👁 "not today-" LOL it will not complement the soft/dreamy vibe of this reading lol😂👌 So for my pile 2's that are interested, your person has some intense desire for you for sure maybe check out my dark pac readings for some messages in that😅😳 :'> Overall this is a very intuitive and romantic person, they are all giving and all consuming in this destined love with you.💗

💌Messages from them: I don't look at other people, I'm addicted to your love, You might get hurt, I have nothing to give, I'm not okay (🥺🥺💔) Extra cards: Alien, In, Fantasy, Shopping, Age, 12th house, 9th house, Sagittarius, Jupiter, 6th house (Destiny calls to heal this person and their fantasies, to either restrict or enhance their deepest desires.)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the swan emoji~🦢 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 3🛋

Sign energy: Try, Activity, Library, Unicorn, Keep a secret, Chiron, Gemini, Vertex, Sun, 3rd house, 😫👿🕯⛓

☁️Your energy: Alright my pile 3's could be Gemini, Leo, Virgo or prominent 3rd house energy. I'm getting some heavy vibes with this some, something is telling me that many in this pile are new to tarot or giving it a try for the first time or for some could have quit for a while and come back for some answers. If you felt this way this definitely could be your pile. I am sensing some worried energy, my pile 3's are not telling anyone what they have been up to recently🤫🙊 You have been keeping this to yourself, and maybe even the idea of loving someone is something you are not ready to share just yet. You guys are very unique and smart, you have a talent for knowing things and speaking well. Sometimes you have a dark side that you don't want to show, and it is your deepest worries and thoughts that hold you down. You may read a lot, there could be many book lovers in this pile. I feel as if you are afraid of fate hence why you are trying to see the future you are uncertain of.😟 My pile 3's are very cautious people especially when it comes to life and fate. You are heavily drawn to the occult, but also fear those practices. You see fate and destiny as chains that weigh you down, and you wish to break free to finally reach the clouds above. You are an independent and spiritually wise thinker.

💘Who you're destined to love: Fight, First, Honey, Spring, Skin, 4th house, Cancer, Water, Moon, Capricorn, 🛎🤞☔🍑 Okay my lovely pile 3's I keep getting an anxious energy, this could be about love itself. I hope this may ease my pile 3's uncertainties of the future.😞💖 This person you are destined to love has a strong personality, one that somehow compliments yours. Okay but like when you guys first meet??😍 I'm getting some passionate and bold conflict turned into something really sweet💞 I feel like you argued with this person a lot when you first met, but then after you set aside your disagreements you realized how caring and loving they can be.😢 You may have gotten very defensive about yourself or things they told you, but you soon learned to listen to their words as they hold truth and only wish to help you. They may be born in spring. Cancer and Capricorn energy is strong for this pile's person, you are destined to meet them. This connection will show you to be less skeptical and afraid of conflict and disagreement, and to learn how to understand those who seem cold or not "good" on the surface. I'm feeling this person wasn't nice to you at first, only after you loosened up from the emotional shell you tried to protect yourself with. They finally started being nice to you without reason, or perhaps you didn't realize their kindness until then. This connection is meant to shift perspectives, and hold security in trusting others. This is such a powerful lesson within this fated love omggg😭💗 Some of you might marry this person!!💍

💌Messages from them: Are you attracted to me? Don't talk to me, You can't control me, I'll only distract you, I'll never forgive you (My pile 3 your person really cares about you and they tend to push you away and it seems like they're brushing you off but that's how they show their love for you by removing themselves from the situation to let you heal and take your time😭🤍) Extra cards: One of a kind, Feminine, Hold on, Style, Juno, Moon, Eros, 9th house, Scorpio, Taurus (Omgg they see you as a devine feminine to them, their other half. They want to marry you for real!!🥺)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the sofa emoji~🛋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 4🎹

Sign energy: Find, Desert, Quiet, Winter, Hands are tied, Eros, 7th house, Sagittarius, Pisces, Earth, 🖌🕯💘🥊

☁️Your energy: Ohh I'm loving the energy of pile 4 we have some prominent Jupiter placements here!! Could be a Libra, Sagittarius or Pisces somewhere in your charts <3 earth signs are possible. I'm definitely getting Sag/Pisces vibes from you guys😇 Creative dreamers searching for self expression and love~ some of you may be more on the quiet/shy side or more submissive in relationships. But outside of them you are a free spirit with a wild heart, you just love having fun and doing the things that make you happy. You want to find a soulmate, someone who is spiritually tied to you... who's heart is locked to yours eternally. You are looking for a person who will appreciate your creativity and spirituality, your soft and illusive dreamy self with a passion to explore life and everything you love. You may be an artist/painter or enjoy those activities, or physical sports like weight lifting or going to the gym. Could be interested in boxing. You are a fighter and a lover because you fight for love. May be born in winter, also I'm getting specific middle east vibes so some of you could be from there.💫💕

💘Who you're destined to love: Soulmates, Forgiveness, Backwards, 11th house, Date, Mars, Cancer, Venus, 1st house, Lilith, 🤕🍳🍂🏷 This is someone from your past, now I'm getting some past lover vibes. For some of you this is an ex, or someone you had an argument with. I'm sensing someone you will meet online, or have possibly already met before. I am seeing that in the beginning of this connection, you or them were too impulsive or quick to complain about the way things started off between you two. After some time I'm seeing the work of fate brings you back to this person, and you will be surprised how much they held on to this connection.😦 Like you will be shocked how much this person really cared (maybe you thought they would be angry/distant with you) but like this person will be on their knees for you omg.😖😳 This person is very emotional and honestly so deeply in love with this pile and they just want a second chance😞💕 They regret their past decisions and the way they treated you, and fate is calling you to accept and love them, this is after all who you are destined to love. There may have been a misunderstanding in the beginning or a first impression that affected your judgement of them, but there will be clarity with this person finally and my pile 4 you will see the truth about them. They are genuinely attached to my pile 4's and have just so much love and respect for you.🥺 You are destined to love and cherish them aswell, as it is very likely you will find this to be your soulmate.💗

💌Messages from them: To me, I feel so confused, It's all fake, Why would you want me? Our eyes have met (They are so scared of loosing you because they feel in their heart you guys are meant to be soulmates😫💞) Extra cards: Despair, Cuddle, Backwards, Previous, Love at first sight, 9th house, Libra, Water, 6th house, Neptune (They would be sad without you pile 4 they feel as if the work of fate brought you together😭😖💖)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the piano emoji~🎹 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

Hi! I hope you’re having a wonderful/day/night/afternoon ^^. I was wondering if you could write some Headcanons about Moxxie X Succubus!Overlord reader? Specifically during the Exes and Oohs situation. Basically, reader gets more and more pissed with Crimson and Chaz(bonus if she and Chaz are also exes), and so when she finds out about the wedding, she absolutely goes INSANE(like her true demon form, underlings shooting guns, everything).

Oh my this is an idea! A bit complicated but I think I have an idea how to work this to fit with what you ask while also being something I'm proud of. So let's do this shall we?

Moxxie with a Succubus!Overlord Reader during Exes and Oohs

Your essentially just tag along as Millie does, having been able to clear a day out so you can hang around Moxxie, following when the odd call and helicopter.

Crimson is a bit surprised by you, not having expected a literal overlord to tag along but he's hollowly nice as he is at first. You notice how off Moxxie seems around his father but he's cagey about it so you head inside.

The whole Mob family reveal is just as surprising though your a bit impressed, having dealt with a few mafias as an Overlord, but you still notice how off he still seems, but before you can ask Chaz kicks the door open leading to a whole new line of questioning.

Your both displeased to see Chaz but upon finding out Moxxie dated him too, you realize why Moxxie was so awkward about your very direct advances at first, after that and Moxxie explaining the Mob side of his past, you nearly blow up the mansion right then and there at Chaz after finding out he abadoned Moxxie to the police.

Blitz and Moxxie stop you though, but even then you grow increasingly concerned about the situation, You don't trust Chaz, and how Moxxie acts around Crimson certainly isn't giving you any good vibes either.

The dinner is awful and tense, but at least you get answers about what's going on, though leaving Moxxie alone with Crimson makes you deny every instinct, same with sleeping in separate rooms.

The morning is a blur of finding out the truth, busting down walls as a giant wailing bat and killing anyone who dares to try to stop you from rescuing Moxxie, the one exception being Chaz who after throwing Moxxie over your shoulder you grab Chaz by the collar before he can say anything and grate out "You are going to make up for this..." before dragging him out with you and the rest of I.M.P as you leave.

You let Blitz keep track of Chaz for the moment as you take Moxxie back to his apartment to just chill and cool down, joking how cute he looks in the wedding dress before genuinely just listening to everything Moxxie has to say about the experience, including his young life and what happened to his mother, hiding how much your blood boils at how much pain he went through.

You spend the rest of the night trying to cheer him up and assuring him it's over and that he's safe, and you mean that, one call to Alastor for a spell is all you need to give Crimson the fright of his life as his trophies come alive and attack him as he long deserved...

It's a good lesson in it's best to expect anything, and that people are very good at hiding pain, especially the ones you love, and you give Moxxie the best you can so he feels loved and safe after all the pain.

Sorry for the delay on this one, just was stumped for a bit but here ya go, hope you enjoy!

He is always a call away (Tangerine/Reader)

Word count: 825 (reasonably short and sweet)

Song: 0800 HEAVEN | Nathan Dawe, Joel Corry, Ella Henderson (listen, I know the vibes don't fit but the lyrics inspired me to write this aha)

Short summary: Bullet Train happens and everything goes down as it does in the film. Reader is trying to process that Tangerine won't come home again.

Warnings: Canon typical swearing, angst, (light) past trauma mention

notes: thank you @nocturnest for jumping on this to fix my broken English and being a wonderful beta!! what an intro but uh [coughs] i'm already excited to write more for this fandom (bits in which Tangie is very much alive ehehe) anywaayyy, hope you guys like this!! - 🥝

It's not been the… easiest time - it has to be said.

Since that phone call from Lemon, you've been struggling with sleep. It doesn't show in your work, of course. Keeping up appearances has always come to you rather naturally. Some of it being from your repressed trauma, that even years of therapy barely scratched the surface of, but also because of your line of work too. It doesn't sit well to be an emotional wreck after every kill you're paid to do.

The call was from a number you didn't recognise. The passing sound of traffic suggested it's from a payphone as Lemon sighed heavily down the line.

"You lost your phone? On a train?" You answered the call lightheartedly and you recognized his sigh immediately, you hoped it was just a release of pent up tension over a job well finished. Although, the fact that Lemon was the one to call, put you on edge, hoping it's not coming through your pretend jolliness.

"He's gone." His statement was simple and sudden. The tone, stone cold, as his voice was raspy, possibly from crying.

"Who's gone, Lemon?"

Your throat ran dry as you swallowed around a lump. Your chest quickly tightened as you tried to piece together what he could have meant. You couldn't- no, didn't want to think about the most likely possibility.

"Tan-" He took a pause, cleared his throat before continuing. "Tangerine, was shot in the neck, he is gone."

It's not like you guys were dating, no, it wasn't anything like that. Neither of you had the emotional capacity for that. What, with your jobs requiring you to spend weeks, months away from each other at a time, sometimes in different countries, opposite sides of the world. But he was the first person, in a long while, that you genuinely cared for.

~~~

You turn to your bedside table, glance at the alarm clock there. Its digital display shines in orange numbers, 01:54.

It's a month, today.

You suddenly have a stupid idea. What would happen if you called his number? Last time you checked it was still live, it'd probably just take you to voicemail. Weirdly, your therapist at your last session suggested writing letters to him, in your bereavement. Bereavement. Such a weird word. You're not even sure that's what this is. But maybe leaving a voicemail would be an equivalent. Maybe he can listen to his voicemails, wherever he is. You scoff at the fleeting thought but reach for your phone anyway.

Tangie is still in your recent calls. You tap the saved contact and wait for it to ring.

You're not expecting anyone to answer, of course not. Your grief hasn't driven you completely nuts. But as the phone rings, you can't help but think about getting to talk to him, just once more. By some divine intervention, you'd be connected through to him, in the afterlife and you could tell him everything you couldn't the last time you spoke.

"-after the beep BEEP"

"Hi Tangie," You scoff in embarrassment, not really sure why you're doing this anymore. "I uh,"

You sigh heavily, all too aware of the silence the machine is expecting you to fill. You sniffle as you start to speak again.

"I know you won't hear this. That… Isn't really the point." You draw a shaky breath. "I know who did it though. Well, knew. Lemon and I took him out last week. What kind of an assassin's name is Ladybug anyway?" You snicker. Can't avoid the tightness in your chest though.

"I just… I dunno. Apparently I should be writing letters to you, as if I could send them off with a pigeon and they'd get to wherever the fuck you are. So, this is the next best thing. If this was anyone else, you'd tell me to fuck off and to suck it up. We always were on the same wavelength, when it came to feelings." Your chest deflates with a long exhale as you realise you need to stop dancing around whatever it is you're trying to say here.

"I guess I just wanted to tell you I really fucking miss you." You sniffle again, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. "I miss your stupid grin, your teasing, your annoyingly cocky attitude, your… The way you looked at me."

"I wish you were here right now so I could tell you I love you. I wish I didn't, I really goddamn wish I didn't care for you so much but I fucking love you. And I hate that I can't see your face as I told you, for the first time. Please call me back."

You bury your face in your pillow and you howl into it, sobs shaking your body as the voicemail recording is saved and you continue to wallow in your bereavement. You're supposed to be feeling better. You need to stop paying your therapist.