#I don’t want anyone else to have to feel that tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 days

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An angsty Chaggie/Chaggily idea I don’t think we’re discussing enough: Charlie is potentially a natural angel killer. She was able to manifest a weapon that hurt and could have potentially killed Adam. Imagine her having to contend with THAT revelation while being in love with Vaggie (and potentially Emily as well).

ooooo i've been WONDERING if heavenly steel's killing ability comes from them being forged by / imbued with like, high ranking angelic power, like from a seraphim or such (sera not only allowing the exterminations to happen, but having to quietly supply and resupply adam with the weapons for it....)

can u imagine tho. if Charlie's being part seraphim gave her that same power?

first, before that becomes a thing- Vaggie's so relieved and relaxed to have the exorcist secret out in the open. she doesn't have to worry about Charlie seeing her angelic blood anymore-

(maybe grins, reminding Charlie they can be a bit more adventurous in bed now) (maybe sits Charlie down and gently explains that she'd rather they got a bit rough in practice sparring with each other than see Charlie get hurt in an actual fight later-)

and maybe Charlie starts to kinda like seeing Vaggie's angelic blood, in the right moments

she loved Vaggie as a sinner- but she just UNDERSTANDS her better now, knowing why her partner hates heaven so much, why she believed in Charlie and redemption and the hotel when no one else did- maybe also it's reassuring, knowing Vaggie really isn't a sinner who might choose heaven over hell some day. instead she's an angel, she did the reverse, she's chosen hell and Charlie over heaven (she isn't leaving) (not like-) and that golden blood is PROOF

so there are love bites that get a bit passionate and there's moments in sparring when Charlie starts tentatively throwing all of herself into a fight, to feel what it's like, to fight for them and their future together even if Vaggie gets a bit scrapped up in the here and now-

but the scraps. don't heal. the way non-angelic wounds should

the love bites Charlie leaves on her scar

and Vaggie, she's fine with that! more than fine

She's surprised and RELIEVED- Charlie's tougher than anyone thinks, Charlie will never really be unarmed if someone tries to get the jump on her- (so many want to) the tight memory of seeing her fight Adam (his hand on her throat) easing a little as Vaggie reshuffles her girlfriend into the heavenly tier above him (smirks at how he'd HATE that)

Vaggie, taking a moment whenever she's by a mirror, just to trace the new marks her girlfriend left on her

(bookmarks from her new life, good memories, more changes from the exorcist she stills glimpses staring back at her sometimes- changes SHE chose, this time, so different from her missing eye...)

but Charlie... oh... Charlie would be gutted by them

no matter how many times Vaggie smiles as she touches the scars, there's still the sinking, hollowing thought- Lute is the one who leaves marks like that. Vaggie's eye, her wings, her hand- Charlie knows herself as the one who puts on the bandage, helps with the pain, remembers which side of her girlfriend to stand on and watches her back in a fight so it DOESN'T happen again... and now, she's also the one who's left scars

she's the one who could- with one wrong move or small mistake- could do WORSE than just scars-

and unlike with Lute, Vaggie is never on her guard around Charlie

Charlie going to her dad- her dad who she's only finally really talking to again because of VAGGIE- asking him, whispering like when she tiny enough to curl up in his lap- was that what it was like with mom? did that... have anything to do with Lilith leaving..?

Lucifer trying to reassure her- no no no, that part never bothered Lilith, physical stuff is the simpler part- loving someone is way people really get the power to hurt you-

(his own love of creation, of life, leaving him broken hearted down in hell-)(Lucifer cringing)

-saying instead, she TRUSTS you, Char-char. She believes in you (even when i didn't), and has she ever been wrong about it?

no

but Charlie will always be afraid, now, of just how wrong Vaggie's faith in her might be

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #lucifer morningstar #angst #ohohohohohohoooh #i LIKE it #almost certainly not even slightly likely to be canon-#and so #Delicious #thank ye anon #nom nom nom~

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pennylittlekiitten · 3 days

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Hey Tumblr 👋 welcome to my blog! I’m Penny May also know as Kiera Marie. I’m a 25 year old woman of transgender experience. I can be a bit harsh, So be patient and if I offend you I’m sorry.

Now that you know little about me. I have some rules for my blog. I’m sorry if you don’t like that but that’s the way it is. Please do not ask me for free pics. I’m happy to sell content to anyone. You can pay just like everyone else. Do not tell me what to post. This is my blog, I’ll post what I want. That means I’m not going to post overly explicit content. I’ve been threatened by staff to many times. I’m on thin ice and I don’t want to get canned. Umm feel free to DM me. Tho keep in mind I get a lot of messages. It takes me time to answer. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it. But I try. If you do want to chat please don’t send a dick pic. I’ll block you.

This is my main blog. I don’t have any other blog.

I have a Dropbox. It’s explicit content. I post regularly. If you like what you see here. You might want to check it out.

DO NOT REPORT OR LABEL MY CONTENT. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE IT BLOCK ME.

Under 18 🔞

If you have a fetish please keep it to yourself. Unless you’ve asked and we’re both in agreement to talk about it. If not please keep it off my blog.

And lastly I reserve the right to block anyone I want for any reason. I don’t give warnings.

For those of you that made it this far thank you. Please enjoy my content! 😘

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magicdonuts-supreme · 2 years

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TW: intrusive thoughts. self-hate and -doubt. insecurity.

—- + -—

I’ve always seen countless F/O imagines with a repeated (and correct) theme of “Your F/O loves you.” Let’s make it known that I appreciate that, I really do, but…

What happens the moment the Voices in your head ask “Why?”

“You don’t even know my F/O! I doubt they’d love me. And even in the slim chance they did, I don’t see a reason why they’d love this half-human screw up—”

Stop.

Breathe.

I assure you that your F/O doesn’t care if this is the 9,999th time you come to them, they'll always be there because you make their life brighter just by being. Try to exist— right here, right now— for a minute or two and whittle those voices away to the best of your ability (and don’t worry if the best you can do is “nothing”). Your F/O can see how hard you’re trying, but they aren’t with you because they think you can move mountains; they yearn to share their life with you because you’re you. Dear reader, there is simply no other reason.

Your F/O won’t think twice about your trauma, whether it comes from a horror-like past or because you stared passive-aggressively at a dog the other day and feel guilty about it. They just know it affects you and they won’t hesitate to comfort (and spoil) you like there’s no tomorrow. Your F/O doesn’t care if you feel like you’re going through Hell everyday and “whine about it too much” or are “too clingy”, they’re your safe space. They’re perfectly content knowing that when you falter, they’ll be there to catch their beloved and give you a place to rest your head, if only for a minute.

Your F/O sees you in a way you can’t imagine. They accept every magnificent part of you that you call a flaw, thanking whatever celestial force they believe in that they have the pleasure of knowing you. Those Voices inside your head are lying, and just the idea of them being right is something your F/O could never fathom, but they’ll more than happily rush to prove to you how wrong the Voices are.

Your F/O has no wish to stop sweeping those incorrect thoughts away, so please let them. They full-heartedly know they’re doing important work.

#if I see someone insulting themselves in the replies or smth I swear their F/Os will burst through the wall through sheer force of will #anyway yeah coming from an author with intrusive thoughts #I’ve never found an F/O post that centers on that “why?”#whenever my mind is being really loud I just. lay down and cry X’D #I don’t want anyone else to have to feel that tho #so I wrote #imagine your comfort character #imagine your f/o #f/o prompts #f/o x s/i #romantic f/o #self shipping #tw intrusive thoughts #tw selfhate #tw self doubt #my writing

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viatrix-glow · 11 months

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happy almost end of pride month i threw together somethin about my aroace thoughts (it’s only really about aro thoughts) . featuring my catsona . sorry it’s basically a storytime

#rambling #my art #personal #uhhhhhhh yea idk if anyone else will rlly find this relatable i just wanted to get my feelings out #i hope it doesn’t seem like i have held onto a part of my life from so long ago it’s literally just the only base point i have #btw i don’t want this to come off like . ohh i had one bad experience and swore off love forever cause that’s not what happened #i have had more thoughts abt all this this year than i have in a while and i really don’t like it!#pair that w the realization that i may not be as neurotypical as i thought has made for some interesting thoughts #one day i’ll figure it out better . probably . not today tho #life is confusing sometimes ✌🏽#hope this isn’t too much oversharing i’m bad at writing concisely

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starlooove · 2 months

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The validation is crazy rn

#bc remember actually #It might’ve been a diff blog #anyways a few years back #i made a post about how ppl like Candace Owens and Pearl and kalvin garrah and Blair white #are stuck tap dancing for the rest of their lives #Bc the second they do smth ‘progressive’ they get kicked out #and we sure as hell don’t want them back?#yeah mira 💀#MIRA #E DICHOOOOO #CASO CERRADO #like even when they stop with the weird shit they will NEVER have the success they previously did bc they burnt both bridges?#Y’know whats crazy tho I feel like white women are more aware of this than anyone else #which is why they go so hard till they can’t and then go some more #from my experience black ppl always feel like they’re safe 😭#PERO MIRAAAAAAA

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funeralgreys · 1 year

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does anyone else still have really complex feelings about atl

#I need to preface this huge rant by saying I know I’m not the victim in this scenario #but this is my blog and I need to talk about my feelings Or Else #I built my whole personality around them #I don’t wear their merch outside the house ever.#I listened to them in formative times #whenever dear Maria comes up in conversation I need to tell everyone the entire story #I still open incognito tabs to listen to them #they’re inevitably on my wrapped every year even tho I set them to do not play p much monthly #they were like my parasocial besties when I had like no one #and felt so lonely #I hate them I hate them I hate them #I miss them #idk how to stop feeling like I’m obsessed with them #so I just get obsessed with their drama and try to snoop on lawsuit stuff #because even still I’m in denial like I don’t want to believe it #but I have no real reason not to I know I’m just being dumb #I don’t know how to carry on when they are such a huge part of my childhood and who I am #it’s been two years. and there is no closure #idk does anyone else still feel like this??? please #lol #< in pain #delete later //#shutuproxie

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saetoru · 1 year

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i think about what alhaitham’s childhood must’ve been like and i honestly make myself very sad thinking about it

#idk i feel like #he always says he doesn’t care what ppl think of him and that he’s happy to keep to himself #but i feel like a small part of that is stuff he says to convince himself he’s fine w having no friends 🥲#like bffr every kid wants a friend idc #he definitely wanted a friend as a kid #i’m convinced he was a bullied kid #i think it’s not a very unique hc tho im sure so many ppl think that too #but isn’t that just so :(#idk like i imagine his grandmother encouraging him to make friends like ‘once they get to know you they’ll love u like i do’#and then no one likes him 🥲#and he’s just like why what did i do ? in his head #if a kid is like 6 ur not gonna convince me like #oh yeah he’s cool w not having friends he’s just like that he likes keeping to himslef #no way. i don’t believe it for a second #so he’s just like ok who needs friends i can thrive and lead a simple life without that nonsense anyway as a way to cope and it just sticks #i mean sure he’s introverted and he prefers to keep to himself #yeah ok. but he definitely does not want to die alone and never have anyone he can share memories w and so i feel like #for someone to reiterate so much that they prefer solitude so strongly and hold rationality above all else #even when they’re clearly someone who makes decisions that are more or less morally guided #there must’ve been a very lonely and melancholy past there #and every time i think ab it #i get sad #and don’t even get me started on his grandmothers death #idk every time i think ab alhaitham #he just seems so heartbreaking and tragic in a very very normal way #not some elaborate brother betrayal or dead friend from the hands of a god #or being abandoned by ur mother and betrayed by humans 283774 times in a row as u search for ur purpose #just a normal sad story of dead parents and not fitting in and having no one and losing the one person who loves you wholly #and it makes me so sad bc it’s the most realistic sad past of all the characters and nothing can convince me that’s not what his past was #and it makes my heart bleed for him

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littledeadling · 1 year

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I can’t watch the new mandalorian trailer I’m still so burned by the shitshow ending of TBOBF 💀💀💀 long rant in the tags sorry please don’t mind me

#grr…. afraid…...I just wanna keep enjoying my funny space cowboy dads in peace and quiet in my little corner 😭#I don’t want to suffer through any more cgi Luke...#are they rly gonna honour that grogu ‘reunion’... even tho it happened it a DIFFERENT SHOW?#sorry but that was the emotional core of the show I’m screaming in pain they CANT DO IT OFF SCREEN IN A DIFFERENT (BAD) SHOWWWW #I also didn’t care for the Cobb Vanth thing…... I have soooo many problems with that show 💀#tried SOO HARD to enjoy it I gave it way more leeway than anyone else #feel bad for temuera Morrison #I love boba fett I was so glad to see him get a chance to do it and I love what he brings to the character... but the writing 💀#I love fennec too #but mannnn #I was even stoked to see cad bane cuz we were watching clone wars at the time and he’s such a cool character #but he shouldn’t have been in that show 💀#(not even factoring in his crimes of shooting my favourite character)#(just kidding lol he’s forgiven)#atrocious cgi shitshow ending that poor Vancouver animators had to crunch for ... absolute garbage ending #also I’ll literally walk into the middle of a busy intersection if they put that annoying guy in the mandalorian 💀💀💀💀💀#the twilek…... if they’re really sticking with making him Amy sedaris’ boyfriend I’m gonna kms #I know a lot of it happened the way it did bc of covid I’m just so scared that means theyre beholden to all of it 😭#I may not watch s3... ugh I have to try... but I might not finish the whole thing #anyway #I love the mandalorian I will be sad if it fully goes into the toilet #they’re already making it too grand and epic w the darksaber shit... guys this is a story about a dude becoming a dad and loving his son ok #don’t forget it…...#(I think they forgot it)#also while ur here i had a revelation that I wouldn’t hate dinluke so much if they’d just CAST A DIFFERENT ACTOR #instead of creating UNCANNY VALLEY HORRORSHOW TECHBROS SUCKING THEMSELVES OFF UNDERPAYING NONUNION VFX ARTISTS ASS CGI LUKE #AND WHY DID THEY USE AI GENERATED VOICE CLIPS FOR HIM?? MARK HAMILL IS LITERALLY A TALENTED VOICE ACTOR!!!#also he stole his son >:(#ok I’m done #bz bz

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tariah23 · 2 years

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Another annoying day at work

#I want to say a lot but I’ve already complained and had an attitude at work all day and got so worked up I was out of breath and my boss #gave me a gummy I was like 😑 I’ll take it #don’t even feel like going into details I’m tired man i just got here and it’s already-#I don’t want to quit tho #good money #but man I am not a slave either gtfoh #and don’t make it seem like I’m not doing enough/ my part when you got everybody else sitting on their asses on their phones and eating and #shit and standing around acting like they’re doing shit (the concierge’s 😑 they literally don’t do anything but greet guests and show them #to their lockers and stand around looking pretty like that’s literally it) so don’t get up in my face talking about we need this and that #like I’m only one person I’m one nigga we keep telling them to hire more ppl in our department there’s like 4 of us and 3 of them are #transitioning soon then it’ll just be me all by myself like bro this is so unprofessional #even other departments are like they need help 😵‍💫-#rambling #Sunday’s aren’t usually hectic but today sure was #and the coworker who I usually work with #well they forced her to come in to close instead of coming in as a mid like usual because I was wondering if she called off #it’s so stupid #my sis usually closes but she’s on a trip rn #and there’s another girl who doesn’t show up on sundays and misses work a lot anyway because of school/ family stuff #its literally never anyone’s fault if they call off it’s always the jobs fault for not having coverage/ hell never the person #then I already had a feeling that today was gonna be annoying because the girl who calls off often wasn’t coming in but I figured that #someone else would’ve finished the shit in the back at least but nope I had to play catch up and do the shit from yesterday and this morning #so there was a lot to do and this bitch comes back there talking about some you need to prioritize this and that and do this and that as if #I don’t know how to do my job as if I wasn’t just doing what she said needed to be done etc etc like she isn’t even the boss she’s just #another worker like girl get your bosse’s pet ass out of my face #killing stabbing slamming

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inkykeiji · 2 years

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。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

#tw clari overshares #about family and stuff #whew what a morning #i’ve never had to call 911 so many times in my life but it’s over now and everyone’s safe #i feel so tired and like i don’t want to do anything but sleep now #basically:#as i think quite a few of you know my dad is very very sick #and he’s slowly dying #he has a lot of trouble moving around and as a result he falls sometimes #i’m able to take care of most of his needs while i’m at home with him but he is a very big man and i am a very tiny girl and when he falls #i cannot lift him (i threw out my back trying to this morning)#thankfully i was able to get help quickly and efficiently but i still feel all shaken up #as complex as my relationship with my extremely abusive father is i am not a heartless bitch and i do not enjoy seeing him (or anyone else)#in such pain and suffering #but anyway. i’m glad i was able to help and remedy the situation quickly #wesley is cuddling me now and he is such a source of comfort and sunshine <333 #i had plans to work on a fic today but the last thing i want to do at this current moment is write about drug addicts lmao #maybe later tho #or maybe just something more comforting; i have quite a few genshin oneshots in the works hehe #i hope everyone is having a good day <3 #and i hope your morning wasn’t as turbulent as mine hahaha #in case it wasn’t clear: my father is a drug addict

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iloveyoumorethansoup · 2 years

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I work at a restaurant and it’s so weird bc there’s a lot of people high school aged or very much middle aged. There is no in between. I feel so out of place in every single social interaction

#except for with my one friend. anyone else tho I feel out of place #like one girl came up to me at the end of the night and was like come sit with us! and it’s like. bestie 2 of those people cannot stand me #and the rest while nice I am just too out of place for that to be fun. i am fine standing here staring into space #and for the middle aged group I think I’ve succeeded in becoming a favorite #i consistently do the work without leaving where I’m supposed to be #also one of them introduced me to someone who was covering today and she’s says to the new girl oh have you met her(me)?#she’s like she’s so cute when she comes up to give you a table with how she waves u just can’t say no to her #aside from my friend she’s my absolute favorite in that place #always tries to make me laugh when I give her a table #but no yeah super out of place feeling all the time #though I will say the high school aged group orders food all the time and never asks me or my friend what we want. ever #I don’t know why we’ll be right there and they just. won’t ask us.#or worse they’ll ask if we’re interested we’ll say yes and then they’ll not include us in the order #like bro #it’s not like u pay for the entire thing everyone gives u money so like. that’s mean #and it’s like. their little friend group. but it’s like the entire population of the younger staff #like :(#anyways I don’t mind my job but sometimes it’s frustrating #soup talks

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devils-little-sista · 2 years

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.

#I wish I could fast forward through parts of my life and keep rewinding to the past #I want to go back and live through my life up until the beginning of ninth grade #then I’ll fast forward to the part of life where I’m happy again #it’s also kinda funny that when I first moved here I hated this house because it wasn’t my home #and it still isn’t I don’t think I could ever consider this place a home but #if I think about leaving it or living in another house I feel sad because I don’t want things to change again #I’m still healing from the last big change that happened more than 6 years ago how much longer is this healing thing going to take #moving again would just be pouring salt in an open wound that was already infected #I hate being attached to places but the only to stop being attached is to cut off all emotions and make myself a zombie #being numb with no feelings is so much than pain of being attached to a place and having to leave it #I want to go home but somebody else lives in my home now and trying to go back there would be ‘’trespassing’’ and ‘’breaking and entering’’#even tho my family was the first people to live there and been since the 80s #my family owns that house more than anyone that lives there now #we were there for almost 40 years #I’m tempted to drive there in the middle of the night and tell everyone to get the fuck out of my house and take it back as mine #my family and my freinds and their families literally owned half the neighborhood that was out home and I still don’t understand why #I don’t understand why it had to change. I don’t understand why we all had to leave our home. it was perfect why did it have to change #I’m gonna marry a rich person and use their money to buy the entire part of the neighborhood that belongs to my family and freinds #I’ll live in the home I grew up in and I’ll invite my new family and freinds go live in the other empty houses #I’m going to make that place my home again someday somehow #I’m going back. one way or another.#if that doesn’t work then I’ll come back as a ghost and haunt the whole place the entire half of the neighborhood that was mine #I’ll roam the road and my home and my freinds houses and scare everyone away and keep it all to myself #I’ll curse and haunt anyone that’s not my family or childhood freinds their the only allowed in my home #because their the only ones that didn’t try to steal it from me. it was their home too. it’s not fair they had to leave too.#I’ll invite them and their families and I’ll protect them I won’t let anyone steal our home #and we can all be happy again

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sharkieboi · 27 days

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I might chicken out but my DnD group is doing a session at a party member’s place instead of the game shop tomorrow as a mini-housewarming for them, and I might try to be slightly emotionally vulnerable and humbly request that I can cuddle with someone, cause I am so fucking touch-starved right now that it hurts

#shhh sharkie #i’m feeling so alone and touch-starved and all I want is for someone to give me a hug #and if I can just sit close and put my head on someone’s shoulder while we play dnd that might fix me a bit #i’m just so tired and alone and it’s too long before I’m with the people that it’s okay to cuddle #it might be a little awkward cause my ex gf is part of our group (we’re on very good terms dw)#but I don’t want her to think whoring myself through a party is a pattern if the person I cuddle ends up not being her y’know?#I genuinely don’t have romantic feelings for anyone else in our group I just need a fucking hug and some human closeness #if she comes I’ll probably ask her first anyway tho so #coming back later: we sat around the table so no chance to cuddle :( it’s fine :(

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l-cereta · 2 months

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Feelin sad

#Ok I’m feeling like less than well which is probably influencing my emotional state — this too will pass & whatnot #but it’s rlly. Sad I guess. It’s just sad?#That like I am never the most important person to anyone else. Everyone else has like partners and best friends #& wow I’d love one of those but everyone else seems to have gotten to each other first #I cant expect them to change & i don’t want to like tear apart relationships or anything & i know people do care about me #but it’s just like. There’s always someone else they care abt more. Like i love my roommate and it loves me #but it also loves its long-distance girlfriend who it’s 90% of time on call with #my other two closest friends are in a relationship with each other & then like every other friend and person I care about who cares abt me #cares abt someone else more #I wish I could live with someone who cared about me and would ask me about my day and actually care about the response #or hold me when I was feeling down or even god forbid kiss me and tell me how much they cared about me #guess I’ve gotta wait a few more years for that tho

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spinobsessed · 4 months

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On Monday I got weighed and found out I’m 120lbs AND I took a shower. I felt so unstoppable but now I’m borderline sick cause my dad gave us the cold again

#tw weighloss #I wish I was dizzy in the head from taking so much cough syrup again #But that happened when I got SICK sick #Like I had a fever and a headache and body aches and was wrapped in 3 blankets and still shivering #I loved being taken care of tho #I just #I don’t know #Does anyone else have those moments where you feel like words are slipping away #And you want to communicate through sounds and actions #I kinda feel like that rn #Words are hard #im a simple girl

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willowfey · 7 months

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(ignore this it’s basically just a mopey diary entry that for some reason i like whispering into the void of the internet instead but i’m fine)

#i know life is rly difficult for everyone ok i know it’s not just me. and i know i have a lot of things to be grateful for — and i AM.#i am always consciously grateful every day. i am always doing everything i can to see the light in everything and everyone #& to see the meaning in darkness & to remember that not everything makes sense & life is just a collection of moments all quilted together #i know all of my feelings have been felt before and that i will get through them and that the sun will rise each day regardless #i know every single word of comfort someone else might give me bc i’ve given them all myself before.#still. i am just a girl who fell asleep on the sofa on a summer evening and woke up in the body of an adult #& everything is rly scary & tiring & frustrating and i’m sad and i want a nap and for someone else to take the reigns for a little while #even tho i know they can’t. even tho i know i’ll just keep going and enduring and living my life and trying to make it all easier #but i just. so much isn’t fair and i don’t know how to deal with unfair.#there’s such massive injustice in the world and i feel selfish for even having my own measly little problems. but i do #i just sgagshshshbsjssj #i wish i was pretty like other girls. i wish i was cool and sociable. i wish i was successful and smarter and funnier and had friends near #i wish i was rly good at an instrument or a sport. or that i had a job. or a brain that worked like other ppl’s.#i wish i lived somewhere i liked and i wish ppl liked me more and i wish i looked different #i wanna know what it’s like to feel that way. i wanna know what it’s like to be flirted with and kissed and invited out to do things #i wanna feel accomplished and satisfied. i wanna be less lonely. i wanna be less weird.#i wish i could talk to people without them giving each other that look that makes me feel like i’m the weird kid in middle school again.#i wish i didn’t feel invisible or stared at and nothing in between.#i wish i didn’t feel so isolated being 25 and never having kissed anyone #i wish i didn’t feel like an ugly weirdo freak that nobody would ever want to kiss #i wish i didn’t feel so annoying. so awkward. so different.#i know logically that what i’m feeling isn’t new. and that i’m allowed to exist. and that there aren’t any time limits for anything #i know i can get better at instruments and meet people irl one day and that things can change #fuck i still sing in public. i dress how i want. i compliment strangers even tho my hands shake after. i try to live the way i want to live #but why! can’t! i! feel! normal!#why can’t i feel accepted and wanted and stable and safe #why do i always always have to feel like the odd one out. the one at the back of the sidewalk. the one paired up with the teacher #WHY when i try so hard to follow all the rules and break all the rules and not try at all #i know the answer. bc i am autistic bc i am a girl bc i am a human in this world who is very sensitive #i know i’m not the only one in the world with such typical problems such as isolation. but i am so lonely

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