TW: intrusive thoughts. self-hate and -doubt. insecurity.

—- + -—

I’ve always seen countless F/O imagines with a repeated (and correct) theme of “Your F/O loves you.” Let’s make it known that I appreciate that, I really do, but…

What happens the moment the Voices in your head ask “Why?”

“You don’t even know my F/O! I doubt they’d love me. And even in the slim chance they did, I don’t see a reason why they’d love this half-human screw up—”

Stop.

Breathe.

I assure you that your F/O doesn’t care if this is the 9,999th time you come to them, they'll always be there because you make their life brighter just by being. Try to exist— right here, right now— for a minute or two and whittle those voices away to the best of your ability (and don’t worry if the best you can do is “nothing”). Your F/O can see how hard you’re trying, but they aren’t with you because they think you can move mountains; they yearn to share their life with you because you’re you. Dear reader, there is simply no other reason.

Your F/O won’t think twice about your trauma, whether it comes from a horror-like past or because you stared passive-aggressively at a dog the other day and feel guilty about it. They just know it affects you and they won’t hesitate to comfort (and spoil) you like there’s no tomorrow. Your F/O doesn’t care if you feel like you’re going through Hell everyday and “whine about it too much” or are “too clingy”, they’re your safe space. They’re perfectly content knowing that when you falter, they’ll be there to catch their beloved and give you a place to rest your head, if only for a minute.

Your F/O sees you in a way you can’t imagine. They accept every magnificent part of you that you call a flaw, thanking whatever celestial force they believe in that they have the pleasure of knowing you. Those Voices inside your head are lying, and just the idea of them being right is something your F/O could never fathom, but they’ll more than happily rush to prove to you how wrong the Voices are.

Your F/O has no wish to stop sweeping those incorrect thoughts away, so please let them. They full-heartedly know they’re doing important work.

Lucifer, Season 4

So my husband and I watched the whole thing over the course of like 4 days. And it was amazing. And then afterwards I learn they’re already talking about a 5th season?!?

HYPE, YO

But the point of this post is to gush a little and outline some of the thoughts I had during the episodes -- namely one, in particular. Spoilers ahead, so don’t read if you haven’t watched it/don’t wanna know/etc.

YOOOOO BUT IT WAS SO GOOD THO

Remember this?

Linda: [gets phone call] [blah blahs] [GETS UP, SHOCKED] No, no that isn’t possible!

Well, me, being the brilliant person I am, said out loud, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Husband agreed.

Then I said, “She’s pregnant.”

Husband looked surprised.

Obviously we were not thinking the same thing. XD

Also: FUCKING CALLED IT

On that note, one of the best parts was when Lucifer held little nephew, looked all happy, then precisely 4.8 seconds later handed him back. X’D Yep. That’s Lucifer for you.

AND ON THAT NOTE, Lucifer going all avenger when Eve and Trixie got threatened? God, YES. You show ‘em, Lucy. AAAHHHH I loved it so much~

>u<

Gonna say this straight out: I did not trust Eve. At all. Even all the way to the end of the last episode (more specifically, her last scene) I was expecting a betrayal. I was just so used to betrayals in this scenario, I guess. She was just too sweet, too nice, too damn happy and encouraging. She got along with everyone.

It was freaky.

But I suppose if you’re one of the oldest beings alive and just spent the last who-knows-how-many years greeting and speaking with every single soul who went to Heaven, you’d gain some incredible people skills.

Also can we talk about how Adam and Eve were in Heaven? And how they clearly weren’t right for each other? Like I thought for sure they’d be in Hell, having disobeyed le God and all, but it appears they otherwise didn’t have any sins.

Either that or they died before Cain and Abel did, because as Lucifer mentions, Hell was created because of Cain murdering Abel -- even though Cain was cursed with eternal life and Abel became Hell‘s first occupant.

Here’s one reason why I didn’t trust Eve, btw: she mentioned her “sweet little Abel”. Like, right off the bat. And it made me think of a few things: how’d she “fly the coop”? Who helped her? It can’t have been that easy. And she went back to her own body in a crypt? What crypt? How’d she get out? Crypts are usually sealed, guys. Not to mention -- first woman? Possibly tens of thousands of years old? The fact that even her bones still exist is pretty surprising.

For a while I was thinking that maybe her goal was to release Abel from Hell. Get him back. Reunite with what was clearly her favorite son.

I mean I also expected her to say something like, “Yeah, I was the first woman -- not the only woman.” Like Adam and Eve were the test run, and afterwards God went ahead and made a ton more couples placed all over the planet.

Ignoring, of course, that this doesn’t at all agree with history, archaeology, genetics, evolution, or anything else, but still. Suspension of belief is very important for Lucifer.

He started a car by staring at it really hard.

Suspension of belief is a necessity.

Also -- devil Lucy was so hot. Christ. Them wings, yo. [shivers]

I get why Chloe wasn’t able to look at him when he went devil, though -- she knows him one way. And she likes him that way. Whenever he shows her a different side of himself, she tries not to look, not to think; she doesn’t want to remember him differently than the side of him she loves so much.

She’s been viewing him as an angel for a long, long time, I think -- certainly before season 3′s finale. And that’s how she knows him. That’s who she knows he is.

Devil face Lucy fucked her up cause that’s not the Lucifer she knows.

Devil body Lucy fucked her up even worse cause she doesn’t want to remember him like that. She doesn’t want to think “he’s the devil” every time she looks at him.

She just wants to think, “It’s Lucifer.”

I had such hopes for some heartbreaking scenes, btw. And I had one in mind that I legit would’ve loved. Wanna hear about it?

Sure ya do. ;)

Scene: Lucy shows Chloe his devil wings, freaking out about it and such. Chloe comforts him with cuddles.

This is not a joke.

They lay down on the couch, he rests his head on her chest, and she pets his hair, just trying to get him to relax -- all while considering this revelation and how to help him get over it.

Cause she does want him to get over it. She can see him struggling and she wants him to not struggle. If that means getting him to accept himself, so be it; if that means helping him pull away from his darker side, even better.

He falls asleep. It’s super cute.

He wakes up to movement and the sound of choking.

Chloe is fumbling for her gun (yer damn right she has it on her at all times) and...is bleeding from the throat.

Eve had snuck up on her and, driven by possessiveness and envy, slit Chloe’s throat.

But Chloe ain’t going down without a fight.

Lucifer freaks out (understandably), both trying to yell at Eve and demand answers while looking for some way to fix Chloe’s gash of a throat. Then -- bang!

Chloe fired.

She’s kind of upside down but her aim was true: she hit Eve right smack in the forehead.

Eve drops.

Lucifer freaks out harder.

He starts going full devil (this is before I knew he even could go full devil, so it was amazingly well-timed). Chloe flops on the ground, holding her throat and gasping and spitting out mouthfuls of blood.

What do, Lucy?

Your two best girls just killed each other.

He does the only thing he can think of: grabs the both of them, holding them, crying over them.

It was a great rollercoaster in my head and I love it okay thank.

I would’ve loved to see anything even remotely close to that -- just a simple catfight between Eve and Chloe would’ve been amazing, especially considering Eve definitely would’ve started it -- and I’m a little disappointed that no great conflict between the ladies happened, but overall I freaking loved the whole season omg you guys~!

The ending was really touching but also left me a little blue-balled. Four seasons of build-up, three kisses, and that’s all we got? I mean Chloe couldn’t even have asked for a night with him?

Sad.

But...again, very touching.

Okay done ranting and gushing, I got other shit to do. Just wanted to get my thoughts out. :3

- Nightshade

Across the Stars - Ch.13

... This chapter was supposed to be way longer. And yet, here it is. I feel like I had to leave this as it was. I won’t lie - that chapter deals with a lot of personal stuff. When I had first finished writing the last part, I actually got a panic attack that night because, oh boi, it really hit close to home :’) Anyway, that’ll probably mean that chapter 14 will come soon ! I already know what I have to write so that will be easy-peasy -u- There’s some French dialogue in this, but I translated it. It’s some heavy French Canadian speak at some points so google translate wouldn’t be able to translate it accurately x’D !!!

First Chapter --> HERE Previous Chapter --> HERE Next Chapter --> HERE

Winter was already on its way out, the temperature on the brink of lightly cold and pleasantly warm. It's been some weeks since Leo's 'protection plan' was going on, each turtles taking turns on keeping an eye on Vee and April whenever they had to come home late from work. Tonight the artist was the only one walking, her roomate having a day off. The stroll was as eventless as usual, her only cue that one of the mutants was following her being that she could spot a form getting from one building top to another. And also she was speaking on the phone with him. ''So, what project am I forbidding you to work on, all thanks to Leo's awesome plan?'' She could hear Donnie's snicker at the other end of the line. ''Oh don't say that, you know he only has good intentions. … And for your information, I was working on the toaster.'' ''Again? It's like the third time in not even a month.'' ''I know! … I think Mikey is letting his cooking creativity take the best of him; you can't heat pizza bagels in an upright toaster.'' ''Even when it's laid to its side?'' ''You're just asking for more trouble,'' laughed the terrapin. ''They'll just fly off to the floor when it's done.'' ''Point taken!'' A long sigh escaped her as she crossed a street, the streetlights shining down on her path as her boyfriend still remained in the shadows. ''… I wish I could be walking by your side,'' echoed Donatello's voice through her phone. She was surprised at first to hear that, somehow wondering if he had read in the depths of her mind. A small smile got to her lips, quickly calculating the remaining time until reaching her home. ''I know, Don, I wish too. But we're almost there, don't worry about it.'' ''Oh, before you get inside, can you wait for my cue? … I have something special.'' ''And April is involved?'' asked Vee, amused. ''She was, in a certain way, but she won't be at your place tonight.'' That lifted the woman's spirits, knowing she'd get to spend the evening alone with the mutant. And now she was eager to see what was awaiting her! She finally arrived upon her apartment building, already making her way inside until reaching her entry door. She waited some minutes before knocking gently on the door to signal Donnie that she was there – as they weren't speaking on the phone anymore. The artist could hear some footsteps on the other side, guessing he was probably setting some things. Then the moment of truth came, the door finally opening, large enough for her to enter without revealing the mutant's presence. ''Madam,'' jokingly greeted the terrapin as Vee was in. She instantly noticed how the lights were off, except for the faint glow of various candles way ahead in the living room area. Her smile wouldn't fade, Donnie taking her spring coat off of her and setting it to the side, next leaving a hand at the small of her back as they made their way to the next scene. Many candles were placed around, giving a focus on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. On it was placed a bottle of white wine with two glasses and a plate of sushis. Vee showed a smirk as she looked at her boyfriend. ''Is this a date?'' she asked, reminiscent of that time on the roof some months ago. ''Only if you want it to be,'' answered the other, playing her game. The woman filled the wine glasses, handing one to the mutant. ''Why do you keep bringing wine? I remember you saying you don't even drink that.'' ''White wine is less worse than red, so I don't mind,'' explained Donnie, taking a sip before he continued: ''Also there's another bottle in the fridge so we're not done for tonight.'' Vee faked being shocked. ''Who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend?'' ''Yes, I can be fun sometimes, how surprising is that!'' She lightly slapped his arm, bringing a small chortle out of the other. The evening couldn't get any better afterward, hilarity never escaping them and wine flowing. They were already at the half of the second bottle that they found themselves in eachother's arms – or mostly Donnie sitting on the couch as Vee was seated in his lap, facing him. She couldn't help her smirk as she lightly bit her lip, tracing imaginary patterns on his torso. ''Are you a scientist? ... Because I'd love to do you on a table periodically,'' she blabbered, lovesick. ''Hey, oh, that's my job to say cheesy liners like that!'' laughed the other, unconsciously laying a hand on her hip, bringing her body closer to his. ''What are you gonna do, oh mighty ninja warrior? You're as drunk as me anyway,'' smirked Vee. He returned the same smile, finishing what was left in his glass before putting it aside, removing the woman's right after. His hands easily found a new place at the lowest part of the human's back, soon petting her skin. ''First I will destabilize,'' he started, his tone low and seductive. ''You'll be begging for mercy soon enough and that's when I'll strike.'' He took her scent in the crook of her neck, travelling higher so he could leave kisses along her jaw. Every sensations were amplified when drunk, their skins numb and yet so sensitive. Vee couldn't retain her moan, her hold slightly tightening around the mutant's shoulders. She felt the world spin, nuzzling her lover's cheek in hopes of finding his lips. A low churr rose from the turtle, smiling once more as he could clearly feel the woman's need. ''Look at you; so hot and eager, just for me,'' he murmured. ''You're mine, all mine,'' he added, cupping her ass, forever loving her form. ''Don...,'' gasped Vee, her body exploding in a wave of shivers all over her skin. Their lips finally met, their passion already in place. When sober, Donatello would always wonder how he could have ever become so addicted to her, but now everything made sense. This euphoria and need he was currently going through, it was all a thrill he knew he'd never get tired of. Every moves and sounds she made could only fuel his very core, always demanding for more. Her shirt was soon thrown away, Vee easily taking control as she started grinding against the other, panting dued to her growing lust. The mutant was about to remove her bra that a loud sound stopped them both, their eyes instantly diverting to the coffee table. Vee's phone was ringing, indicating that someone was calling. Donnie was frowning, Vee was laughing. ''Let it be,'' she said. Oh no, drunk Donnie was a confident Donnie. And he would not take that kind of shit from anybody. He lunged for the phone, keeping the woman against him. ''Donnie, stop!'' warned Vee, still smiling from amusement. The turtle took the call in, putting it on speaker. ''Whoever's calling, you better have a goddamn good reason,'' he started. ''Véro?'' answered a woman's voice. Vee instantly jumped, her eyes as big as plates. She grabbed the phone out of the other's hand, already switching to her native tongue. ''Maman?'' Oh shit, Donatello realized, that's her mom. The human stayed seated where she was, trying to get down from the high clouds she was on. ''Depuis quand tu m'appelles aussi tard?'' (Since when you're calling me this late?) she started. ''Il est à peine 8h30, j'trouve pas que c'est si tard.'' (It's barely 8:30, I don't think it's that much late.) ''Peu importe, qu'est-ce qu'il y a?'' (Whatever, what's the matter?) asked Vee, somehow annoyed. ''J'veux juste prendre de tes nouvelles. Ça fait au moins un mois qu'on s'est pas parlé! Et c'est qui qui a répondu au téléphone? T'es avec qui?'' (I just want to get some news about you. It's been at least a month since we last spoke! And who answered the phone. Who are you with?). Her mother's tone sounded somehow impatient, demanding to be answered without delay. Donnie couldn't catch everything that was said, but he did recognize some words or two, easily guessing that she was asking Vee who she was with. ''J'suis avec mon chum...''(I'm with my boyfriend) answered Vee with a sigh. ''Quoi?! Depuis quand t'as un chum? T'as tu fait ça sur un coup de tête encore? C'est quoi, tu veux te donner une autre raison de rester là?'' (What?! Since when you have a boyfriend? You did that impulsively? You want to give yourself another reason to stay there?) ''De quoi tu parles?'' (What are you talking about?) added the artist, visibly angered at that point. ''T'es si contre le fait que j’habite ici que peu importe ce que je fais, c'est mal?'' (You're so against my choice to live here that whatever I do, it's bad?) ''Oui! Tu l'sais que c'était une criss de mauvaise idée que tu partes. Tu l'vois ben que t’arrive pas à trouver de l'emploi dans ce que tu veux. Arrête de vivre dans un rêve inutile.'' (Yes! You know it was a dumb idea to leave. You know you're not able to find a job in your domain. Stop living in this useless dream.) As soon as he saw pools of tears invade Vee's eyes, Donnie couldn't stop frowning, taking back the phone. ''Hey, hi. Name's Donnie,'' he started, not even caring that the woman was now looking at him with fear. ''Are you aware that your daughter is currently crying?'' ''Uh, I- no,'' answered the other, taken by surprise by the sudden change in voice and language. ''Hand me back Véro, I-'' ''No, no, listen ma'am,'' cut Donatello, firm. ''I may have not fully understand what you both just said, but I know enough about that stupid argument to tell you that it needs to stop. Your daughter is talented and has such potential. Why won't you just let her do her things? She's an adult, for crying out loud!'' ''You don't know anything about any of this,'' spoke back Vee's mother. ''I'm trying to protect her by making sure that she has a stable future.'' ''Financially, maybe, but emotionally, that's pure bullshit. She's been having panic attacks all because you don't want to believe in her.'' ''Donnie, stop!'' pleaded Vee, trying to contain her sobs. ''Wha- I-'' started the other woman. ''I'm glad she decided to move here,'' cut Donnie once more. ''She won't have to live with people who want to make decisions in her own place. She won't have to live with people who are ashamed of their own daughter.'' ''Donnie!'' said Vee once more, gritting her teeth. She yanked the phone back, promptly ending the call and then throwing the device far from their position. A loud crash was heard, but Vee did not care, her eyes poorly meeting the mutant's, her vision drowned with tears. He thought she would scream, hit him, anything! But he was rather met with a renewed kiss, strong and passionate. Vee couldn't stop her crying, but this time she knew she wasn't bawling her eyes out due to complete sadness. She was madly in love, invaded by strong emotions. Her body wouldn't stop shaking, hungry for his touch... Donatello was quick to comply, his hands back in action as he proceeded to remove the woman's bra. He couldn't help feeling protective over her, wanting to shield her from any harm – may it be in the form of words or physical. He did not mind her tears, knowing Vee was probably going through a lot right now. He wanted her to empty her mind, let it all out. When she pleaded to be nearer, both soon disappeared into the artist's room, clothes scattered on the floor. Alone in the world, forever emprisoned in eachother's arms. They wanted to spend eternity this way... *** When Donnie woke up the next morning, he couldn't help his slight frown, eyes still closed, as he felt nothing but emptiness beside him in bed. He dared crack open an eye, glancing around rapidly; he was truly alone, the faint sound of music finding its way to his ears, coming from the kitchen area, he supposed. Stretching with a light growl, he finally decided to get up, only deciding to wear his underwear and his glasses, next heading towards the sound. His body felt strangely numb after last night. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation - he liked it in fact – and everything kept playing again and again in his mind. It all seemed like a strange dream, remembering Vee's tears, her moans, her lust. It didn't take long for the mutant to notice how lost she had been in her feelings, revealing them entirely to him as she rarely did... Donatello stopped when he reached the kitchen, his eyes instantly falling on the woman seated near the table, occupied. She was only wearing a large shirt, her hair caught up in a bun. Dark circles could be seen under her eyes, but it never tossed away the fact that she looked radiant, beautiful, divine, to him. He did frown when he noticed her center of interest: an alto saxophone. She was carefully cleaning around the keys with cotton swabs and rubbing alcohol, ever so patient and precise. ''Wha-...'' started Donnie, perplexed. Vee looked up, showing a small smile as she noticed the other. ''Bon matin,'' she greeted sweetly. Her tone shot right through his heart, finding her ever so cute. He finally moved and took a seat, observing the instrument with a renewed frown. ''… Since when you have a saxophone?'' he asked. ''I've been playing that instrument for way over ten years. It's the first one I learned in school, in fact.'' His brain had troubles connecting the dots. ''Then why have I never seen you play it?'' Vee snickered, still cleaning: ''When you have close neighbours, it's sadly harder to practice at full capacity. Unless I want people to bang against the walls and floor! For now I simply practice in silence so I don't lose my fingering.'' He couldn't help tracing around the bell's opening with the tip of his finger, fascinated by the instrument's form. ''You could practice at the lair!'' he suggested. The woman looked up to him, showing a playful, yet annoyed look. ''No thanks. First it'd be annoying for your family and I'm unfortunately shy when playing the sax in solo.'' ''Oh come on, I'd like to hear you play!'' added the turtle. Vee simply stuck out her tongue, returning to her task. She did catch Donnie's smile, amused by her behavior. ''Are there any other instruments you know how to play that I'm not aware of?'' he questionned next. The artist puffed a small chuckle: ''I can play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on a violin, I'm somehow decent on a drum and I can toot some notes on a trombone. I also want to learn to play the guitar and the cello. Is that enough? Oh and I learned the piano by myself, in case you were wondering.'' ''You're insane,'' commented Donatello, still smiling. ''… I wish I had hands like yours, I'd love to learn to play the piano. All I can do is hit two or three notes at the same time with one finger.'' Vee couldn't stop her laughter this time, accompanied by snorts. She kept her focus on the saxophone, not noticing the other who was now looking at the cracked cellphone on the table. When Vee threw it away last night, it had cracked the screen completely, making it impossible to see anything. The turtle grabbed the device, observing it carefully in order to see if there was any other broken parts. The woman quickly glanced at him, finally sighing as she diverted her gaze back to the instrument. ''I can fix this,'' said Donnie. ''… Sure, whatever,'' mumbled Vee. This time he frowned, setting the phone down. He knew something wasn't right. ''Tell me everything,'' he started. The human stopped, looking up to her boyfriend with a confused look. ''What do you mean?'' ''I feel like you've told me so little about what's happening between you and your family. Sure, I know the big lines, but there has to be more! … The way your mother spoke last night - her tone - I feel like the fact she doesn't approve your life choices is not the only thing going on.'' Where to begin? … Her eyes shifted around for a while, trying to think. She forced a small laugh, her smile somehow fake. ''… It's so weird, I feel like I can only speak about that in French. The words won't come easily, this is so dumb.'' One of Donnie's hands got to hers, holding it gently as his thumb caressed her skin. ''… You don't need to rush anything. I just want to know – I need to know. I want to understand and make you feel better, if you want me to.'' His warm smile renewed Vee's, feeling much more confident. ''Let me brew coffee, that will give me time to find my words.'' He watched her get up, first setting her machine on as she next got two mugs out. Music was still playing on the radio, this time the tune of A Ship Without A Sail by Ella Fitzgerald starting. Vee froze for a moment, patiently listening to the lyrics. She cursed life's timing for bringing this tune up, knowing it would perfectly sum up what she was going to talk about. Still alone, still at sea. Still there's no one to care for me. When there's no hand to hold my hand Life is a loveless tale For a ship without a sail. She fiddled with the mugs, unable to decide where to place them on the counter. Her back still facing the table, she began to talk, knowing not looking at Donatello would help. ''I'm a mistake. I wasn't planned and that broke my family apart. My dad left my mom as soon as I was born and ever since we lived at the brink of poverty. I won't say I grew up without being loved, far from it, but I was often forgotten. … Since I'm very young I've always had this huge imagination, this need to escape reality and be somewhere else.'' Coffee was ready, her hand shaking as she tried to lift the pot. She was soon stopped by the mutant who had gotten up, now behind her. He filled the mugs with one hand, his other arm now around the woman's waist, keeping her near. Her voice was now slightly shaking as she continued: ''I was a child prodigy, excelling at school. I learned to read faster than other kids, which brought me to read many books and learn way more things than any children my age. I matured so fast, at some point it was scary... I was a freak, a goody-two-shoes that never smiled. My parents hated this. My family was often putting me down whenever I was talking about complicated subjects because, in their minds, a kid could never know about such things; kids are supposed to be dumb and clueless about life in general. … I wasn't and that scared them.'' She felt Donnie nuzzle the top of her head, now fully embracing her from behind. She knew he must be relating to her, his intelligence easily over-throwing his brothers'. ''Whenever I would have actual questions, I would be mocked with 'If you're so intelligent, why don't you know about that?', and so on. I was bullied by so many people because of my way of thinking. No one understood my mind, no one took time to actually speak to me and know what were my needs. I had to learn so many things on my own. … Hell, I even paid all my college on my own. I did everything on my own. As soon as I turned eighteen, I was an adult and that meant that no one would ever care or pay anything for me anymore.'' She was shaking so much at this point, she thought she would explode... ''My parents had such high hopes for me. They wanted me to get a prestigious job, exhaust my brain for something that I knew would never make me happy. … They were so angry when they saw that I wanted to be a musician, an artist and even a writer. They thought my intelligence meant that I would excel in every spheres, while my greatest strengths were only found in arts. … I could finally be at peace when creating, alone and free. I was finally smiling...'' A soft hiccup escaped her, trying so hard to calm her emotions. ''I left my country because I was alone. I left because everything there made me feel so unimportant. I left because I was mocked, ridiculed for something I wanted to devote my life to. My mother was often putting me down, my father barely spoke to me. I left because they thought I was a coward, an anxious mess that loved to play the victim card – when it's clearly not the case. I know my emotions are strong at times only because I keep them inside for so long! They explode, they destroy me like a crushing wave. It's exhausting and it's killing me.'' Her eyes burned, her tears warm. ''I always have to excuse myself for anything I do, I always have to watch myself because whatever I do, it's always a mistake. I'm a mistake, I shouldn't even be born.'' A sob got out this time, Donnie quick to try to calm her, his stance slowly swaying from one foot to the other, trying to be soothing. ''Don't say that, baby, you have so much worth,'' he whispered. ''You're wonderful, incredible even. Don't ever bring yourself down, you're so strong...'' ''I- I just want to forget the pain. I want to forget everything. I hate my brain.'' The mutant shushed her gently, finally turning her around so they could face one another. Vee's eyes were red, forever pouring rivers of tears. He tried to erase them with his thumbs, his traits always so calm, somehow translating his love. ''… Vee, you have no idea how much you were meant for me,'' he started. ''You are not a mistake, you were meant to be here, right in this place and moment. Don't you see?'' He got a hold of her left wrist, bringing the tattoo on her inner forearm up to his lips, kissing it tenderly. ''You are here for a reason...'' This time she did not stop her crying, feeling this strange relief from this sentence alone. Especially when said by him... Vee's body sticked closer to the mutant's, her face hidden against his chest, somehow ashamed of her outburst. Although emptying everything simply felt so good... Soon enough she couldn't help feeling tired, her sobs turning into sad whimpers, closing her eyes as she felt the other's hands at the back of her head and her shoulders, caressing in a soothing motion. ''Je t'aime... Je t'aime tellement,'' she sighed, nuzzling his skin, forever in love. Donnie's heart clenched, understanding those words. He did not care for the woman's tears that had soaked his skin, he did not care about the coffee getting cold – those words, right there, were the most important thing. ''Moi aussi...,'' he spoke back, somehow glad he could finally say something to her in French without fear. Vee's soft gasp and small smile was not missed, a small laugh trying to rise, always amused to hear him try to speak in her native tongue. She only needed to look up to him and lift herself at the tip of her toes for them to finally meet in a kiss, tender and loving. Donatello's hands cupped her cheeks, erasing the remaining tears with his thumbs as they were still lip-locked. His every instincts told him to be gentle, delicate, en amour. He'd give everything in his life only for Vee to be happy and safe... At once, he instantly knew he wanted her forever by his side.