#I don’t think so but I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable
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The triplets do a collab with a girl and everyone on the internet is shipping her and Matt because she was lowkey flirting with him and he was being super friendly ?
Trying to get back into writing, sorry if this is shit. Please send in more short lil requests that I can do in >1000 words!! They're fun.
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“Hey,” Matt breathed out a sigh of relief, “I’ve been calling you.”
Y/N let out a laugh, “Yeah, I have caller ID.”
He echos a laugh, a bit more uncomfortable than Y/N’s. “Sorry about that.”
“No worries. I was just running some errands. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to apologize-“
“Apologize about what?”
Matt lets out another sigh, “Um, the video just went out, like, an hour ago, and the comments are kind of insane.”
Y/N feels her voice get caught in her throat, “Insane, how?” She asks.
Matt immediately catches her anxiety, “They’re not really bad,” he says. “Well, they’re kind of bad, but not bad in the way that you think! It’s just that everyone’s kind of-“
“Matt,” she cuts him off.
“Sorry,” he laughs a little, “Everyone’s just kind of shipping us, and it’s getting a little out of hand.”
Y/N left a pregnant pause, “Oh.”
“Yeah, I’m really sorry. They just- they can’t let any of us talk to anyone without making it a thing.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Y/N tells him, “You’re not responsible for those people.”
Matt lets the statement sit, “Okay.” There’s a rustling on his end of the phone, “Well, I’m sorry again. I’ll call you later, I have to go,” and suddenly the line goes dead.
Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed at the abrupt ending. “That was weird,” she said, looking up at her roommate, who had a hand on her hip and a toothbrush hanging from her mouth.
“What the hell was that?” She asks, her toothbrush bobbing as she speaks.
Y/N shrugged, “No clue. Matt just called me to apologize for people shipping us.”
Bonnie cringed, “That bad?”
Y/N shrugged, “I guess so. I mean, I was flirting, but I thought he was into it.” She looked back down at her phone with a deep breath, “Another one bites the dust,” she mumbled.
Y/N had been on a rotation of men in her life. Coming in and out as fast as a revolving door would let them. She mainly just wanted a quick fuck, or an occasional dinner to try out the waters, but she never liked a man long enough to let them stick. Just long enough to let them gain interest and for her to lose it.
Bonnie walks over to the bathroom, spitting into the sink, “Boo! He was cute, too!” She complains.
Y/N shrugs, “Can’t go back now. He clearly doesn’t like me,” she lets out a small laugh.
“Why do you say that?” Bonnie asks.
“I mean, why would he call me to apologize if I didn’t bother him?”
Bonnie rolls her eyes, reentering Y/N’s line of sight, “Because he’s worried it would bother you?”
“I guess, but wouldn’t he have said something, or-”
“Y/N, do you even like this guy?”
Y/N gives Bonnie a playful glare, “You know I’m not incapable of feelings, right?”
Bonnie shoots back a sorry look, “I know. I apologize.”
With a swift change of the subject, the two girls are talking about Y/N’s next video. Amidst their discussion, Y/N’s phone lights up with a text:
Matt Sturniolo: Sorry I got off the phone so quick. Nick wouldn’t stop calling me. I was gonna ask if you wanted to grab dinner tomorrow night?
Y/N: No worries. And pick me up at 7.
Matt Sturniolo: It’s a date.
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#nicolas sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#chris x reader#nick sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo blurb#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets imagines#lunarblurb
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i’ve been feeling the need to make some boundaries when it comes to private messaging…
i’m fairly chill about messaging but there’s a few repeated things i’m just not comfortable with…i don’t expect everyone to see this or anything but. just for anyone who does :))
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ASIDE FROM MUTUALS-if you message me privately, please do so with a reason in mind!
what i mean by this is please do not slide into dms just to say hi every day and nothing else… (unless you’re a mutual that’s fine LOL)
it’s honestly uncomfortable and has happened somewhat often, that and an expectation to keep up the void ‘conversations’, it’s just awkward and sometimes frustrating when i ask ‘what’s up! can i help you?’ and i’m met with ‘ :3’
(this isn’t passive aggressive i promise <3 )
i do not mind dms, just please know why you are dming me first ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
(maybe you have a question this isn’t catered for asks, or you want to do something art related for example! :D )
additionally in regards to dm’s…i know this is a harsh sounding one to some, but tumblr has an age minimum of 13 years old, similar to discord.
please please please, all i ask is that you do not message me privately if you are below tumblrs/discords age limit, this has happened too many times and it’s highly uncomfortable. i’m not here to parent/police anyone at all, just don’t PRIVATE MESSAGE me, please :)
im not thinking of anyone in particular when i say this, specifically if you’re a younger person and feel called out for some reason, know i’m not targeting you at all /100% genuine <3
PLEASE dont apologize or anything like that, i beg :,)
MY ASK BOX IS OPEN ! :D
if the above things don’t apply, my ask box is always open, it’s more public there🥲 i hope that’s understandable <3
(i may be additionally selective to what i answer as well :,) additionally, sometimes if i answer an ask with no sustenance to the blog i’ll eventually yeet and delete, it just makes me feel tidier LOLL)
(EVERYONE IN MY ASK BOX IS GONNA KILL ME AND MY LATE ANSWERS HAHA)
A D D I T I O N A L L Y, MUTUALS you can contact me for any reason. if i follow you it means i likely would like to interact with you :0 i’m just shy 🥲
for the record i also like interacting with people i don’t follow in case that’s unclear!!!!!!
if you come into my dm’s or asks with blatant, and unfiltered disrespect, don’t be surprised if i block you.
threats, or pointless insults, don’t be surprised when i block you.
if i see you attacking people, or are causing problems/drama on this blog, don’t be surprised when i block you.
THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO CARED TO READ THIS💥 rare completely serious moment from me here on tumblr haha, back to our regularly scheduled bs and silliness!!😁😁🌸💫💞🪷⭐️
(i say scheduled as if i’m at all consistent sob-)
Love you all~🌸
#i hate that i can’t tell what my tone will come across as in text LMAO#i’m not upset or anything just some general boundaries i keep feeling the need to vocalize#boundaries#dms#sorry for the text blocj#you guys rock🙂↕️⭐️
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Guys remember when when they were going to make a new little shop of horrors movie?
With like, Chris Evans (Aka Captain America) as the Dentist?? And Scarlett Johansson as Audrey???? I feel like we don’t talk about about that as much as we should 🧍♀️
Like first of all, the 1986 movie (and its actors) are SO iconic, it’s hard to imagine the characters any other way. Like I’ve never watched any of Chris Evan’s movies, but Steve Martin’s performance was genius i can’t see him beating that. And Elle Green is, like, THE Audrey.
That being said,
I really really wish this movie had been made.
…If only to create more dentist x reader content.
GUYS GUYS HERE ME OUT PLEASE😭😭😭😭PLEASE UNDERSTAND 😭😭😭😭😭
Like he’s hot 😭 he’s really hot, you have to understand 😭😭😭 (the dentist, not Chris Evans)
Like PLEASE I can’t be the only one who thinks so 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Call me Arthur Denton, because I want this man to DO THINGS TO ME
I want him to TEACH ME THE IMPORTANCE of DENTAL HYGIENE.
I want him to LEAVE ME SEDATED DURING AN APPOINTMENT because he FORGOT ABOUT ME.
I want him to KNOCK OUT ALL MY TEETH and CHARGE ME FOR IT.
Like I want this man. I want him violently. I want him to tear me apart from the inside (and that’s NOT a metaphor)
Am I attracted to Chris Evans? No. I’m not often attracted to men or women in general. Do I think he’s considered conventionally attractive and he would lead to a slew of Orin x reader content? I mean… probably? He is a movie star, i think. I’d imagine so.
The point. I want this man, and I am STARVED. I need the internet to feed me. Give me horribly out of character Fanfiction where the reader feeds him soup. Give me dentist appointments that violate the health code(and probably human rights, too).
Anyway 😃
I’m so sorry to my mutuals(and to any poor soul who stumbled upon this) I promise I’m mostly normal. Mostly.
That being said thank you to anyone who creates content about evil dentist man or little shop of horrors in general. Ily guys thanks for feeding my fixations.
TLDR: there’s some alternate universe out there where Captain America is Orin and Black Widow is Audrey. Also I want Orin Scrivello to step on me. Just a little.
#orin scrivello#orin lsoh#little shop of horrors#lsoh#suggestive?#maybe?#I don’t think so but I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable#I usually don’t post things like this I’m scared 😭
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Trying to get a hang of Roman’s face lol
I like the top right one best so far!
#NOT tagging this with the main succession tags bc I’m scared#anyways I haven’t started watching succession yet but I’ve been reading the characters wikis and uhhh#Roman Roy kinda 😳#look look ik he’s probably gonna end up being an emotionally dysfunctional piece of shit freak of a person but consider this: I wont him#(I think. we’ll see if I feel the same once I start the show lol)#anyways I feel like I had a mutual who f/os Roman already so to that mutual#if you want me to tag any Roman love posting I might do PLS let me know via ask or dm or whatever!!#or you can unfollow too I won’t take it personally!! I don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable!!
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Would you ever want to write darker fic again, like your abo fic? I 100% understand why you wouldn’t, and you don’t have to respond to this ask if it makes you uncomfortable! I would love to see you explore darker topics and interpretations of steddie, if you ever felt inclined to ♥️
Ehhh I learned my lesson with that one. Idk if I would. I tend to focus more on very angsty stuff now buuuuut it tends to not be very popular 😂 still love writing it tho. I guess it depends but yeah, I am definitely iffy about stepping on toes.
#I don’t ever want to make anyone feel bad#or uncomfortable or upset#like it makes me sick even thinking about it these days#so like now I have a huge guilt complex tied into it which is so silly#anyway you didn’t ask for this mental health peak fngjfhfhj#asks
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Spn blogs in my recs and they WILL NOT LEAVE.
#they’re even on my main blog now#at least for me#and like yeah I get it blood and rot and family and whatever#I think I’m getting my period soon because it usually doesn’t annoy me like this but GOD#I don’t WANT these here.#but tbh I just don’t like the fandom. it’s all very clique-y and I am so so lonely#like genuinely I haven’t felt good about a single thing I posted for that in way too long#I like WRITING but posting?? in that fandom? it’s terrible. I hate it#& I’ve taken to writing out all my frustration and anger and grief in a separate doc to be deleted before posting the main work#which is fucking. just. it’s bad. I’ve never had to do that for ANY fandom I wrote for.#and I geeeeeet that it’s because it’s such a big fandom so people know each other and it’s not like my small communities where you#parallel play in peace. but I don’t like it. it’s deeply uncomfortable and isolating and I’m so sick of it#but I also like the writing I do so I try to just stay in my niche and not look at anyone else#I think I unfollowed every fandom blog save for two? three? so I could be alone instead of lonely#but it still washes over me whenever I post something.#oh an! sometimes I’m tempted to just do something super mass appealing so they’ll like me but that just makes me feel worse#I’ve been tempted to delete my blog so many times because I lost my friends from the old fandoms and this one is the poorest substitute#but I also feel like that won’t make me happier either. I wish I’d just never started engaging w that show tbh#okay done. just. I’m going through it
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#txt#erm….. tonight is not good today was not good.#got even more confirmation that my friends hate me so that’s nice.#the only one i think still doesn’t hate me had no problem texting in the group chat i’m not fucking in with everyone but me while i was#right there. and telling me about it. so.#and i now know at least one of them hates me and thinks i hate them. but i don’t and i feel so bad because i know i’m horrible at talking.#i know. i know i’m a horrible person to try to talk to because i’m selfish and annoying and say the wrong things and i know. i didn’t mean#to make them feel uncomfortable but i can’t just be a fucking normal person#i really can’t stand this anymore i really can’t#i’d rather them all just stop talking to me and for me to be solidly alone instead of this horrible fucking standstill#i know. i know i’m a horrible person. i know they don’t love me and i know i don’t deserve for them to love me so why are they pretending#like they still do.#im just so tired of this i’m so tired of having to exist in this stupid fucking world where i know i’m awful and can’t do anything right an#don’t deserve to be able to.#and i feel so bad because the girl i’ve been helping in one of my classes is going to fail. and i feel like if i could just be better or h#have started helping her earlier or stood up for her to the teacher she wouldn’t. but instead i have to be horrible at comforting people#and have to try to comfort her while she’s sobbing because her parents aren’t going to let her drive#and i just feel so awful#im so awful my school is so awful i don’t want to fucking be here.#i cannot wait for the year to be over at least i can be alone in my room and not have to annoy anyone or hurt anyone#well i still probably will because that’s just how i fuckign am but. hopefully less .#anyways gonna rewatch some more glee i guess
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#i hate being hungry. i used to not care too much because i could just eat whenever i wanted and eat until i was full#but now? now i can barely finish a full apple or a small cup of oatmeal#i had a single grilled cheese sandwich on sunday and like half a bowl of cereal#i ate like half my bowl of mac n cheese and some juice#i thought i was doing well. i had half of my subway sandwich#but when i got home i started feeling worse and couldn’t even eat dinner.#being hungry makes me so hungry that it makes me sick#i can’t eat because i feel sick. i feel sick because i haven’t eaten#when will i know peace?#when will this cycle fucking end? why is this happening to me?#i’m gonna get chicken noodle soup for lunch!#that’s the only thing i’m ever able to eat when i’m like this#why does my body take hunger to the extreme these days? i feel like i can’t go a full week without feeling like shit#tw disordered eating#i don’t have an eating disorder but the way i described my issue right now sounds like it#i don’t want people to think i’m faking an ed or that i want to be this way#i’m just not healthy right now and i can’t go to the doc bc i don’t have insurance.#i also don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable so i’m tagging it
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not reading that entire long ass post of people conflating not liking the q slur with being a terf but just a friendly reminder that people are STILL called queer in a derogatory way in the modern day, I say that as someone who has a negative history with the world from growing up in the US South. use it, reclaim it, tattoo it on your forehead, don't tag it if you don't want to, but please don't spread misinformation and conflate those who disagree with you for unrelated reasons of being something as awful as a terf. people love to say "learn your queer history" without actually...knowing that the queer people in our history have always had differing views on the word. terfs also believe in destroying the patriarchy, but we don't conflate being a feminist to being a terf. nuance is the answer here: our enemies and our allies can sometimes share opinions, though they come from entirely different places. those places that they come from are the difference in whether we should consider those opinions or not. when non-terfs hate the word queer, in my experience, they were usually called that at some point.
People are absolutely allowed to not like the word queer. People are absolutely allowed to not want to use the word queer. People who don’t identify with it should be respected and validated, I believe that fully and I always will. If a word has been used against you and you don’t feel like you feel comfortable enough to reclaim it, that’s totally okay. I also am well aware of the word queer being used in a derogatory way even now.
I think the root point was simply that the argument “queer is not an inclusive word and therefore we should use alternatives” and “don’t say queer say LGBT”, plays into a larger narrative that serves to silence us altogether. And I think that in some way, we will always have differing opinions on every word used in and/or by our community, because we are not a monolith, and that’s okay. You can like or dislike the word queer, that’s okay.
The argument as I saw it was not “stop disliking the word queer or you’re a terf”, it was “you don’t have to like or use this word, but saying it shouldn’t be used perpetuates a hateful narrative”. There are points in that post that I have my own thoughts on, and I’d like it to be known that you can’t judge a person’s full opinion on something simply through a reblog. It’s a very, very complex conversation!
Also, it’s difficult for me to fully respond to something like this when it is preceded with a statement clarifying that you didn’t actually read the whole post, because I think if you had, you’d find that both your standpoint and that of the post are not actually in opposition. I empathize with your thoughts on this, sincerely. And I also believe that “people who don’t want to use the word queer should be respected” and “the word queer is part of our history and shouldn’t be erased” are things that can, and very much should, coexist.
#ask bug#I’m also not fantastic at making my points via written post rather than face to face conversation so hopefully this is an adequate response#I don’t want anyone to feel hurt or ashamed thinking that I don’t agree with what words they identify with#use what empowers you! don’t use what doesn’t!#cause at the end of the day it’s whatever makes you feel good#but as a community we should all be fighting against narratives that serve to phase out certain terminology#I’ll also take this moment to say that if the word queer makes you uncomfortable- it’s okay to unfollow me!#please don’t make yourself uncomfortable on my behalf!
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literally for so many reasons i should not do this program tomorrow but explaining why i can’t would be so embarrassing but also i really shouldn’t. lol
#i keep panicking bc i don’t know how to talk abt this in a way that makes it safe for ANYONE. it feels wildly wildly inappropriate to be#participating in a conversation about such an intensely personal sensitive thing LET ALONE facilitating one as someone who has been touched#by it directly. and maybe that’s just me being weird abt this entire broad topic my whole life and uncomfortable at the prospect of even#saying the broad words and touching on the overall topic but this really really feels unbearable and bad. but also i can’t not do it so. lol#purrs#the thought of telling my story and going as deep as i possibly can which might trigger someone when i don’t know who is in the room and#THEN hearing stories from everyone in the room — people i KNOW!!! interact with on a daily basis!!’ — about what horrific things they mightv#been through and getting triggered by that. AND possibly also having ppl in the room who think it’s all bullshit and will say stuff and#everyone else is allowed to react if they’re triggered by that but i am not because im the facilitator and my job is to deescalate. like lol#how am i supposed to do any one of those things. potentially all of them. i feel like collapsing and to say why it makes me feel like#collapsing would involve me having to explain this to people i know anyway so either way im fucked. and like i do want to talk about it very#much but also i dont. at least not until i know what everyone has gone through first. bc i don’t want to hurt anyone bc it can be painful an#and i get hurt by hearing stories too. which is like dumb bc it’s not even MY thing to have stories about lol but im still like this. anyway#this is clearly something i need to be working thru in therapy bc it impacts my life in ways literally no one else in the world sees or#knows about but i don’t know if i will ever be able to bring it up in therapy bc it is just so uncomfortable and embarrassing for me. lol#and like i know km going to contradict myself in even telling the story too which will open the door for someone on the other side to do a#gotcha. and i don’t even know what to do w that. i don’t trust anyone who might be in that room to listen or understand or protect me which#i especially should just let go of because as the facilitator im the person who has to do the protecting. and it sucks bc i need protecting#with this and i will have to pretend im strong and healthy about it when really i have no right to be leading a conversation about it or#even talking about it bc it happened to me but not in ways that anybody even thinks about or cares to think about. so lol. ok stop rambling#even before this all started i have a tjougjt related to this topic every single day. every single one. and it just makes me squirm to think#that now i have to talk about it bc it’s my job. and i really really want to. and i really really don’t
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sorry just realized for the first time that i don’t know how to talk about my attraction to people in real life without feeling predatory or having an overwhelming fear of making people uncomfortable. i’ve heard other people talk abt it as a queer experience but i didn’t think it applied to me until literally right now
#there’s like a few people who i’ll talk about crushes with but even then it can’t be anyone we know#also not helped by being allo aro. for sure#there’s a single person i was able to talk abt my crush w at college (besides the person where it was the same person) and that’s bc she’s -#one of the most pragmatic people i know and it wouldn’t be as much abt my feelings#but she translated what i was saying and literally went ‘oh so you want to be friends with benefits’ and i was like yeah basically#but i think internally the reason i can’t vocalize it is bc i think it will make everyone uncomfortable. just the fact of me being attracted#- to someone in a material way#it’s also probably why i’m incapable of confessing to anyone#it’s less to do with rejection and more with putting them in that position#also being mocked for it bc between being trans and queer i don’t think i’ve ever quite gotten past the like. combined infantilization of#- growing up trans masc and the inherent othering and disgust of being gay#even when 9/10 the only people i’m interested in are also queer#ted talks
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autistic social exclusion let’s talk about autistic social inclusion (but bad)
#personal#before i talk about this i fully admit its gonna sound so cunty#but oh my god#the cocktail of being traditionally attractive to a degree#HUGEEEEEEE issues with setting boundaries and using the golden rule like law is gonna kill me#and this isn’t a im so much better than people type of shit#i just do not enjoy talking with most people#it’s nothing wrong with anyone! i just don’t enjoy it#and yes you have to get through the weird talking stage to make friends#but i’m just not that social! not really!!!#but i’m in so many situations where it’s like#person and i meet for whatever reasons we get to talking#we talk casually from this context but then they start seeking contact more and more#and i respond back bc i think it’s rude not to#and i also reply fast bc i hate notifications and want the -task- done so i can go back to my stuff peacefully #and maybe they have a topic or project they really really want to talk about#and i’m like well shit id like it if someone listened to me when i had stuff going on plus i genuinely want to be nice and listen to people#but then that always ends up with talking more and it’s so much talking#i don’t want to talk this often or at all!! i’m sorry it’s all me!!!!!! genuinely!!!!#and i never know how to say hey i’m just not feeling it or anything and i’m uncomfortable with blocking and it’s a huge silly mess#and i know bad not to be direct but i try to send signals that i’m not that into it or as much#like i don’t message first i listen and offer opinions when asked but not much else and don’t talk about my own stuff#and i would want to know if i was like. not vibing with someone not then politely going on but i am!!! a coward!!!!#anyway i’m just being a bit resentful bc someone in this situation ship with me asked for money for food and#and like morally i can’t say no it if i can in fact help it feels wrong especially with food#but like emotionally and i understand this is mean of me but i’m slightly resentful#like i’m struggling with bills and rent with my mom and debt and then over spending to cope#and it’s like damn i’m not even properly friends with this person :/#and i’m just so tired from work socially which sounds so lame but is true#like i only really seek out consist contact with audrey and gg not saying fuck everyone else but theyre my main social circle n not drainin
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ok so uh not to be like “i think the robot’s autistic” or whatever but picking the murderbot diaries back up after learning that i might possibly have little an autism has been an experience for sure
#like when i read the first couple books i was like I Relate To Murderbot Because I Also Have Anxiety!#now….#every time MB is like ‘i looked at them through my drone camera so i didn’t have to make eye contact’#or every time it checks someone’s facial expressions against clips from its archive to try to guess their emotional state#im like GOD I WISH I COULD DO THATTTTT#side note: I have sort always thought that everyone found direct eye contact uncomfortable/rude??#that was actually something i remember reading all systems red and artificial condition when MB forces itself to make eye contact to#to ‘reassurre’ its clients when they’re freaked out#i was like … people find eye contact reassuring???#poll for anyone who wants to respond to my rambling tags: do you find eye contact reassuring????#also standard disclaimer that i know implying non-human characters are nuerodivergent can be a problematic trope#and i don’t have any kind of official dx and am mega not sure if i actually am autistic#so i don’t have the authority to make any claims#but also I Big Relate To The Robot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#ALSO GOD THE GENDER VIBES#i don’t think i could ever actually going by it pronouns myself#but god i want what it has#the murderbot diaries#martha wells#murderbot#original#nd log
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#was thinking about how I was always someone who called people nicknames and giving someone a nickname was a huge sign of affection#and like#so many people hated it so much and I stopped doing it somewhere down the line bc ppl thought it was patronizing#and I’ve always been a p genuine person and so when people would get irritated I used to take that as such a rejection#bc nicknames are my way of expressing fondness#and I can’t really get away with nicknaming my kids so every kid is kiddo#but like the amount of times I’ve almost called my friends dear and love recently are kinda ridiculous#and it’s like#but I mean it#and I want to express myself that way authentically#but I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable#but I love calling people by endearments and things bc it is endearing to me#like nothing makes me happier than terms of endearment#and nicknames#it genuinely makes me feel so loved and I know it’s so silly but it does matter so much to me
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Posting at 3-4am when no one will see it is so silly
#I can’t sleep again :/#but also I can just rant#or say things I get too nervy to say to someone directly#what’s the chances anyone actually snoops over here anyway#idk man I’m loopy with exhaustion but my brain is spinning#in my yearning era as per usual#I don’t know how some people seem to navigate romance so easily#like this person who is so wonderful and is so comfortable to be around#I get scared I’m going to say the wrong thing#or come on too strong#(there was a brief moment where I wanted to ask if I could kiss you but I think we both knew it was too soon)#I know I can be intense#but I don’t have any frame of reference for HOW intense#or what the ‘right’ level of intense is#like at the same time what if I’m not showing it enough?#but really it’s mostly just this deep seated fear that I’m Too Much and Too Intense#I would really like to kiss you#and I would say I’m not afraid to say that but I am#because again I know it’s probably way early for that and idk if that’s mutual#and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable#I don’t want to scare you away#but I want to be honest?#idk man I’m afraid of fucking things up#when there’s barely things to fuck up#and it may stay that way#I KNOW I think about it too much#but I like you#you’re worth all the doubt and nerves and patience#< the least patient person ever /lh#dear god please don’t read this actually
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Legit question: would it be weird to tell someone
“It makes me happy to know you exist”
Bc like… that’s a sentiment I feel a lot esp when I don’t have the ability to interact as much as I’d like to with people but I see them living their lives and it gives me deeply good feelings
Like regardless of whether we cross paths I know you well enough to appreciate you’re part of the universe and that fact brings me joy
Like is that inappropriate in any way?
#personal#super you can ignore this#im probably not gonna say it either way bc it’s awkward#I’m not even high rn I just have a lot of emotions#like I just sometimes really want to let people know how great it is they’re alive and being who they are#but I don’t know how to express that in a way that actually communicates that#especially when it’s like not tied to any specific behaviour or relationship or expectation#I’m going through it and I have really low social capacity and it’s really getting to me#I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or wonder what I’m trying to accomplish by being like really intense#what are boundaries? why are they so adaptive? how do you express love that isn’t asking for anything in return?#idk#it also feels like I ask this kind of thing too much but that’s also potentially in my head#I don’t actually need reassurances I just wanted to put it out there#like… maybe… maybe instead of saying it directly I can express this in a way where people don’t feel the need to interact with it#unless THEY choose to#no pressure#yeah… that’s maybe the middle ground here#so I can stop fucking thinking about it without directly making it anyone else’s problem#anyway if you see this and read all this shit and we’ve ever interacted I mean you#good job existing (sincere)#the world is better with you in it 😊
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