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bbbarneswrites · 7 years

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Who’d Have Known?

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You’re not sure how it happens but maybe your friendship with Bucky isn’t really just a friendship anymore. Genre: Romance/fluff Rating: T Warnings: Swearings? 4,732 words

Notes: After months without a full fic, here goes one rubbish attempt to fill up the gap! I’ve had a draft of this fic for MONTHS but I never got to finish it until this week when I practically forced myself to write it all. It’s not my best (I’m rusty af) and the ending is way too trash for me but I hope you all like it a little bit. Based off Lily Allen’s Who’d Have Known and this pic. Happy reading! <3

Taglist: @httpmcrvel, @tasting-writers-block, @yoinkpeter, @ipaintmelodies

Clint's place is homey and comfortable and much more than you could ever ask for as you come back to the U.S after the accords with the team. Wakanda is nice and T'Challa's mansion is something that you couldn't even dream of before but it just doesn't feel like home. It doesn't have toys all over the floor, kids giggles every once in a while, it isn't as warm and welcoming and familiar as you want.

Clint's farm reminds you of your own childhood home so you can only guess that was why you like it so much. The company isn't bad too. Steve and Sam came back to the facility with the promise of handling whatever the press wanted to throw at the team. Scott was back in San Francisco for Cassie. But Bucky and Wanda did the same as you – took Clint's offer for a temporary stay at his farm until the dust settled back in the city. It's been three months and you're not sure if you want to come back despite thinking that by now you're imposing on Laura and Clint's life.

In the farm, life is different for each one of you. Bucky doesn't need to tiptoe at every corner, Wanda isn't constantly worried about her powers and you don't need to watch out for your back. There's no stepping on eggshells and you're more than grateful for that. But even more meaningful than that is the relationship you build over the time with Bucky.

Somehow throughout these last three months the former assassin and you had gotten along, previously bonding over your shared experience of mind control. You've had yours with Loki and you know nothing can top what he's been through but Bucky seems to find comfort to your words just as much you find in his when you're both awake at night due nightmares and such. And somehow throughout these last three months the line between friendship and something else blurred between you.

Nothing really happens but you know that your lingering gazes, soothing and gentle touches, sheepishly whispered words mean much more than just a friendship, more than just company. Whatever the both of you have changes for good after Nathaniel's 1 year-old birthday party. It's nearly 3 in the morning when all of you finish helping Laura and Clint with the clean-up, their living room and kitchen looking habitable again underneath the pile of cake plates, plastic cups and candy papers all over. It doesn't take much until Wanda and Laura are off to their rooms, leaving you on the couch and Clint and Bucky talking outside. You don't know exactly why you do it but once you notice Bucky is just about to leave the conversation, you hurry up the stairs and sneak into the familiar atmosphere of his room before he does. Every detail is carved into your mind by now given the amount of time you spend in there but you can't help but feel a slight tinge of insecurity as you wait for him.

There's something going on between you but you had never done this. Going in all by yourself for the first time, almost as if waiting for something to happen. But when Bucky finally enters the room, it's like you've been there your entire life. He doesn't even say anything but you swear you see a faint tinge of red on his cheeks and a small smile curving his lips as he takes the sight of you curled up on his bed, hair brought up in a messy ponytail, body clad with an old band t-shirt that Clint borrowed you and face free of any trace of make-up.

You had never done this before but he acts like it's an everyday thing. It's natural the way you scoot over for him to sit on the bed, when he takes his shirt off and ties up his hair in a bun, how he just plops himself down beside you and extends an arm for you to curl up against. So you don't waste any time before shifting closer to him and resting your head against his shoulder, his chin touching the crown of your head as his arm tightens around your frame. "Sorry that I barged in." You apologize with a weak smile, raising one of your hands to rest on his chest as you feel it rumble with his quiet, soft laughter, his fingers trailing down on your back. "I just didn't want to be alone today, hope you don't mind." "You know I don't, baby doll." Bucky mutters quietly and squeezes the curve of your hip, letting out a rather content sigh when you hum in reply. "Something's on your mind?" "No...no." You reply way too quickly, lower lip caught between your teeth in apprehensiveness until Bucky shifts over to face you with that look and you can’t help but give in with a quiet breath. "I'm just...is it bad that I don't want to go back? To the city? Because I don't."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you start to line up all the reasons why you’d rather to stay there than going back home.

You know that once you’re back, whatever the both of you have will have to get on hold, worst case scenario with the whole ordeal completely forgotten.

And even though nothing was ever his fault, Bucky still owes the goverment an answer and you know that this whatever you have will be the least of his concerns. If you’re back at the facility, Bucky is officially an Avenger and you’re not entirely sure how that will play out with the rest of the world, given it had just blew up in your faces because of an accord.

If you’re back then he’s not just yours anymore, no matter how selfish and possessive this can sound to anybody else’s ears. And as much as you try to convince yourself otherwise, it feels like it gets worse everytime. "No, that’s...that's fine." Bucky finally replies, sounding as soft and careful as ever as he glances down at you with a light frown. "Why don't you want to go back?" "I like it here. It's quiet and there's no fussing over us," You explain with a tight smile and let out a small sigh, your eyes closing for a brief moment until Bucky’s metal fingers start rubbing your lower back. "It kinda reminds me of my home too." "A farm reminds you of home? You lived in a farm?" Bucky muses out with a small grin, immediately making you roll your eyes and let out a tired groan. "Now, that's just something I can't believe, doll."

You can’t help but laugh as he pokes at your side, your heart painfully warming up to the memories of your childhood home, large grass yard in a remote place and all the years your family spent there to keep you and your powers away from prying eyes and judgemental people.

You’re most definitely a city girl and it shows it but after everything you’ve been through, going back to a quiet place again doesn’t sound so bad.

"It wasn't a farm." You pout jokingly, resting your chin against his chest before shrugging lightly. "But it was in a remote place like this. I had the best childhood a girl could've asked for. That's probably why people didn't find out about me sooner."

"Do you miss them?" Bucky asks, looking hesitant and somehow worried when you frown confusedly at him. "Your parents– do you miss them?" "Everyday." You smile sadly through a little laugh before nuzzling your cheek against his chest, feeling the soft rise and fall of his breathing slowly calming you. "Do you miss your family?"

Bucky just sighs as you feel him nod. "Everyday."

It’s unspoken by the both of you but deep down maybe you think this could be just the start of another family.

One more month and you’re still at Clint’s house, more often than not telling yourself that you’re not ignoring your life and obligations by staying there.

You love being an agent, a hero or whatever people call you but it’s also nice to have a normal routine for a change. In the farm, you help Laura with the kids, you put your mechanical skills on the works again with Clint’s old tractors, you take time with reading and writing. You do miss your adrenaline filled life but you don’t exactly feel ready to go back just yet.

When it’s time for Bucky to go back to the city, you can’t help but be heartbroken.

He isn’t going back because he wants to – you can feel it in the way he says it, because he’s always trying to sound firmer than he looks – but rather because the dust is sort of settled and the goverment guaranteed him a chance to speak up again. It’s an opportunity of a lifetime and the only one he can afford in the moment so you know he has to go.

But you appreciate the fact that he understands you don’t feel like going back yet.

It’s not even needed a real conversation because he just feels it and in a weird way, that makes the situation much easier for the both of you. From the day Steve gives the news to his official last week in the farm, you manage to ignore the strange sinking sensation in your chest.

Then, it’s Saturday and it’s his last weekend and you’re suddenly not so sure if you can ignore your feelings as much as you ignore your responsabilities.

You’re sitting at the wood swing set up in the porch, watching over Lila and Cooper as they play tag when he sits up beside you, playfully nudging your shoulder with his and giving you the cutest smile you’ve seen.

One that you can’t help but smile back at, even if it’s not as genuine as you want it to be.

“Tired of Clint’s old farmer jokes?” Bucky starts off, his lips curving in a teasing grin as he looks over to the kids and you just laugh at his words. “I know I am. I’m sure Wanda is too so we won’t blame you.”

“You know, it’s kinda growing on me.” You joke playfully, shrugging with a sheepish smile when he looks back at you again, his playful expression then replaced by a sober one. “Nah, it’s just that Lila and Coop were getting too antsy and Laura is busy with Nathaniel. Babysitting duty called.”

Bucky just nods with a fond smile and turns his gaze to watch the kids again, the both of you falling into an easy silence that you’re most definitely used to.

In that moment, you try to not think about his leave or about your still building but weird relationship with him or even why he’s there with you and the kids. But you can only guess it’s impossible, especially after he throws an arm around your shoulder and just slightly pulls you closer to his side, grumbling something about the cold weather before falling into silence again.

If you weren’t sure of what to do then, you sure as hell aren’t sure of what to do now so you just leave him be, choosing to focus on his embrace rather than the complications of it.

“I’m going to miss this.” Bucky breaks the sudden silence and you can’t help but feel your heart skip a beat again with his words.

You know exactly what he means but you don’t feel confident enough to let your feelings show just yet, so taking a way around seems to be a better idea for the moment.

“What? Moody country side weather?” You snort mockingly, trying to hide your nervousness as much as you can as he just chuckles and shakes his head. “I know, it’s so hard! I don’t think you’ll survive back in New York.”

Bucky laughs and you can’t help but follow, your arm making its way to wrap up his waist as he leans his forehead against yours and looks down to you.

“Yeah, doll, it’s exactly that.” He says between a snicker, his arm lightly squeezing you against his side until he speaks up again with a tight smile on his lips. “I’m gonna miss the quiet. Working around here with Clint and hearing his old farmer jokes. Laura’s food and the kids. But I knew I’d have to leave someday, so...”

“You’ll be fine.” You reply quietly, cheeks warming up under his attentive gaze as you shrug and lean your head lower against his chest to avoid his eyes. “I mean, Steve wouldn’t let you come back if it wasn’t safe enough, right? And you’re strong, Bucky, you can handle this. I know it.”

You aren’t looking at him but just by his soft sigh and the strange but yet pleasant and warm way you’re feeling, you know that he’s looking at you. And you can’t exactly decide if you should feel happy or nervous about it.

“You give me too much credit, you know.” Bucky finally replies, a weak chuckle escaping from his lips as he reaches up to your face and cups your cheek, tipping your chin up you’re glancing at him again. “I’ll miss you. And this.”

“Me too.” You whisper, subconsciously leaning in against his hand as you smile playfully. “Promise you’ll call me? And text me? And send me funny pictures of Sam?”

With another heartfelt laugh, Bucky brings both of his arms around you and squeezes your frame against his chest, laughter rumbling through you as he bows his head down until you’re mere inches away.

With his breathing practically mixing up with yours, you nearly miss his next words.

“I promise.”

With a promise and a chuckle later, Bucky’s smiling lips are pressed against yours and you’re nearly melting against him, your hands making its way to his cheeks until your thumbs are brushing against his stubble and he’s squeezing your hips gently.

But before things can go any further, Lila and Cooper come running in your direction and you pull away from each other, both torn between feeling guilty and amused as they start to fuss over the situation. (Y/N) and Bucky sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g...

Bucky doesn’t say anything but the soft smile and glance he gives you are more than enough as he pulls you up to your feet and wraps his arm around you.

“Come on, let’s watch A Place in The Sun.”

You talk to him a few times a week after he leaves and even though you know it’s the best he can do, you still miss him and still feel like it’s not enough.

Things have been busier and messier than ever for him, especially after the Avengers’ tech team managed to get a hold of his old files and some HYDRA’s secret footage about his training.

The government wants to bring him to the court and Steve is trying to fight that as much as he can, relying on the several crypted files Natasha dumped online and on the growing support Bucky’s been getting over the last few months.

His calls and texts come through a burner phone Steve sent a few days after they left and more often than you’d like to admit, you caught yourself staring intently at the device, almost as if hoping that your relentless stare would get him to call you.

But whenever Bucky does call you, it feels like he’s still there with you.

It can sound strange but as you hear him speak, it’s like you can see every little grin and frown and shrug he gives. When you read his texts, it’s his voice in your mind and that brings a dumb smile to your face every time. It happens for the first time in your birthday, when you’re curled up in your bed with a glass of wine and a sleeping Wanda on the floor after an attempt of a slumber party.

You’ve been waiting for any sign of him all day and though part of you wants to believe that he wouldn’t let it pass with a little reminder, you can’t help but feel that slight tinge of doubt as the clock nears 23:30 and the phone is still as quiet as ever.

Your cheeks most definitely burn in shame when the phone’s screen light up 10 minutes later, making you nearly drop the bottle of wine on Wanda’s head with your excitement.

It’s several texts and as much as you’d rather to hear his real voice, you still feel content in just reading his words.

23:42 Happy birthday baby girl

23:42 I hope your day was just as fun as the pictures clint sent

23:43 My gift will take a while to get there i hope you don’t mind waiting

23:48 Wish i could’ve been with you

23:50 Miss you

Smiling quietly to the screen, you’re definitely content in reading his words and in finding out that even though he’s miles away, his voice in your head makes you feel way way less alone.

When you come back to New York, it doesn’t feel as bad as you thought it would be.

Sure, the press is still on everyone’s back though some of the attention died down, your status as an Avengers team agent is probably undefined and your relationship with Bucky is in between two lines but you finally feel ready to go back and face whatever you have to.

All of your time away feels like a recharge and even though it can be kinda selfish to an outsider, given a part of the team couldn’t afford to have that, you’re still thankful for having that moment.

Thinking about it now, you see how much those months changed you but only for the better. It also doesn’t hurt that Bucky came along, surprising you in so many ways and supporting and reassuring your thoughts in every step of the way.

It’s true that you firstly bonded over a shitty shared experience but it means so much more to you that you’ve come together again because of your feelings.

When you come back to New York, it’s still a little awkward between the both of you but you wouldn’t have it in another way.

Bucky had been hesitant to come back at first but now you see how much the move has improved so many aspects of him, even changed some. He still has to deal with harsh days but it’s notable that he’s feeling more comfortable in the new atmosphere than he ever was back in Wakanda.

There’s still some work ahead for him to be as okay as he was before, when in Clint’s place, but it’s a start nonetheless.

As to now, despite the unsureness of your relationship, he kisses you good morning at every team breakfast, pulls you to his side at movie nights, wraps a protective arm around your waist during team meetings, hugs you as tightly as he can before every secret mission you’re allowed to participate.

You don’t complain or mind at all and the team never mentions though you have your suspicions that they’re curious about it. Natasha is the one who confirms your suspicions and takes the duty of questioning what everyone wants to know.

Both you and Bucky are watching a movie in the common room when the redhead takes a seat on the armchair next to the couch you’re in. With your head resting against his chest and his arms wrapped around your waist, you don’t think much of it at first. But Natasha is intense in every sense of the word so it doesn’t take too long until you can nearly feel her insistent stare burning into you.

But before you can even think of scolding her, she’s speaking up first.

“God, you two are disgusting.” Natasha snorts lightly, narrowing her eyes as she smirks knowingly at you. “Really, what is it with the both of you?”

You subtly snuggle closer to Bucky’s chest and divert your gaze from her smug one, shrugging nonchalantly while Bucky huffs under his breath. You’re not sure if you want whatever this is to become a fuss between the team yet so you try to play it off as smoothly as you can, even knowing that Natasha’s usually intimidating attitude makes the situation a little more unnerving.

“I don’t know what you mean?” You reply quietly, your eyes glued to the screen in front of you until Natasha scoffs your name indignantly and you sigh exasperated. “I don’t know, what do you want me to say?”

That seems to be exactly what she wants to hear because as soon you finish speaking, she smirks like the freaking Cheshire cat and scoots foward on the chair, elbows resting on her knees.

“How did this happen?” Nat starts off, sounding as curious as ever but at the same time demanding as she always is once she continues. “When did this happen? What exactly is going on? I can keep going if you want.”

Bucky tightens his hold around your waist and sets his chin on the top of your head, glaring at the redhead just as intensively as she is though she seems to be completely unfazed by his sudden protective demeanor.

“That’s none of your business, Romanoff.” Bucky grumbles harshly, a deep frown forming on his forehead as he glances suspiciously at her, now looking surely pleased that she’s finally got him to speak up. “Who put you up to this?”

“Why, can’t I just ask something I’m curious about?” Natasha sneers with her characteristical grin curving her lips and chuckles when Bucky rolls his eyes at her, her gaze drifting between the both of you as she replies. “No one. You should know no one can make me do anything, Barnes. I’m just asking what the whole facility wants to know.”

You don’t know if it’s her presence or her questioning or both that makes Bucky huff in mild annoyance before getting up on his feet, bringing you with him by wrapping your legs around his waist, an arm under your bottom to support his hold.

It happens so fast that you can’t help but yelp in surprise once he hoists you up but you definitely don’t miss the soft ��bedroom, baby doll’ that he mutters under his breath once your arms are secured around his neck. It’s quiet and you don’t think Natasha heard until you look over Bucky’s shoulder and she’s smirking at you with raised eyebrows, clearly taking special note on your sheepish expression.

You’re glad when Bucky turns around to face her instead because that way you can bury your flushing face in his neck and hide the small smile when he speaks up again.

“Back off, Natalia.”

Though you’re not in the room anymore to hear it, the said woman just chuckles in amusement because yep, there’s definitely something in there.

“See what I mean? Disgusting.”

Your mornings are quiet and slow and neither you or Bucky mind having a boring routine to contrast against all the crazy that you have to deal with everyday in this line of work.

As time progresses, you grow used to waking up with his arms around your waist, his hands on your hair or his face buried in the crook of your neck. You grow used to the feel of his warm skin next to yours, to the tender good morning kisses he presses on your cheeks everyday, to his fingers slipping into the band of your underwear when he’s feeling a little more risky. You grow used to his sleepy voice, to baby girl and doll and sweetheart muttered under his breath.

After your homecoming, one morning with Bucky turns into two that turns into three that turns into a week and then a month and then it’s been 5 months and you realize he’s the only constant you want to have in your life.

But every once in a while, you can’t help but still feel hesitant about your building relationship.

There’s a million things that bound you together but you still fear the other million that can break you apart. Neither of you are off the government’s hook yet and there’s a world of emotional luggage and responsabilities to get in your way.

It’s funny how these same mornings can make you forget these doubts as fast as they come.

In the morning after Sam’s 39th birthday party, you’re both still feeling a little too tired to get up from the comfy bed rather opting to enjoy each other’s presence without prying and curious eyes over you for once. Bucky’s got his back against the mattress while you lay on top of him, arms wrapped around each other with soft kisses and lingering touches that replace the talking for most of the time.

But with one of you breaking the silence every once in a while.

“You’re happy with me, aren’t you?” Bucky asks quietly, his murmur sounding so soft but yet so insecure to your ears that you immediately look up at his face with worry rising in your chest.

“I am. You know I am.” You reply kindly, brushing your thumb over his chin and dimple as he closes his eyes and lets out a short breath at your gentle touch. “Why are you asking?”

The room is silent and it almost feels like you can hear the thoughts running through his mind.

“Just...worried, I guess.” He laughs humorlessly and locks his gaze with yours, arm tightening around your waist when you stare confusedly at him. “I don’t want to take your time, baby doll. It’s been months and I’m still a mess when...you could’ve just moved on with someone else.”

Feeling your heart drop at his words, you don’t think twice before closing the space between you. As soon as your lips meet Bucky’s, you try to express all the emotions you’re feeling into the kiss. It’s tender and sweet but somehow still desperate and reassuring to both of you. It feels different and for some reason it feels like a good kind of different.

You can’t exactly say his doubts are a good thing but it’s good to know that he also struggles sometimes, giving you a chance to work out your issues together from the said moment on.

It’s good that he’s laying out his cards for you and it’s even better that he’s giving you a chance to lay out your own too.

“I don’t want someone else, I want you.” You state as firmly as you can, your eyes not wavering from his while your hands hold both sides of his face, fingertips pressed against the warm skin as your lips brush together. “And I don’t care if you’re mess because so am I. We don’t take each other’s times, we’re just making it our own.”

His loving stare makes your cheeks warm up and your heart skip a beat. The kiss he gives you after doesn’t help your case either but you’re definitely not complaining as his innocent display soon turns into a full make-out session, with his hands sliding into your sleep shorts while your lips make quick work on forming little bruises on his neck.

It feels like having a world of your own so you’re just a little bit displeased when Bucky suddenly interrupts the moment.

“I’m yours.” Bucky mumbles softly against your mouth, one of his hands running through your hairlocks while the other spread shivers through the skin of your back, leaving you speechless and gaping as he continues. “I’m only yours, baby girl.”

It’s funny how he can make you forget any doubts as fast as they come in that moment. Or in any day, you realize. It’s funny how his words make butterflies fill your stomach and how much you don’t care that neither of you have said the words yet. It’s funny how he quickly becomes the best part of your life and how everyone notices it.

But to top it all, it’s funny how easily and naturally the words slip out of your mouth–

I’m yours too.

Without a single inch of fear attached to it.

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