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bratzforchris · 1 month

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little!matt having a panic attack during a podcast and cg!reader helping calm him down maybe?

Relax, Baby

Summary: Anxiety can be really, really hard, but with your help, Matt knows he'll always be okay<3

Pairing: Little!Matt x gender neutral and caregiver!reader

Warnings: Panic attack

Word Count: 894

A/N: As always, age regression is a nonsexual and innocent coping mechanism. Also, I am not saying or assuming this is how Matt is irl. It's fiction. If you don't like it, don't read it :) Enjoy!

Anxiety and panic attacks had been a struggle in Matt’s life for quite some time now. He always thought too much about how people felt about him and how he was perceived, which would usually lead to him having a rather bad panic attack. You had known this going into your relationship with the boy, and together, you two had worked to find a solution that would help him heal and calm down.

When you had first suggested the idea of age regression to Matt, he had heavily refused, insisting that he didn’t need to be babied. With some gentle coaxing, you had gotten him to just try it, only for Matt to realize just how much regressing helped. Allowing someone else to take the reins for a bit, while he went back to a peaceful, childlike state, was like a breath of fresh air. Whenever he slipped into littlespace, Matt could feel the tension leaving his body, especially when he cuddled up with you. But littles were people with big emotions, and on days like today, those emotions took over everything else.

The triplets were getting ready to film a new episode for Cut the Camera, and Matt was less than excited. Nick and Chris had been getting on his nerves all morning, calling him things like ‘Miserable Matt’ and ‘Mumble Matt’. Normally, this wouldn’t really bother him and he’d just make a joke back, but today, he’d been feeling extra anxious since the moment he’d woken up. Matt sat in his chair in front of the mic, fiddling with the stuffed flamingo he kept there for comfort. His mind was anywhere but the episode; instead, he was thinking about you upstairs in your cozy, shared bedroom. You had been disinfecting his stuffed animals when he came downstairs to film, and all he wanted was to be cuddled up in your arms again, covered up with his woodland animals blanket, paci in his mouth, and Mr. Wrinkleton in his hand.

“God, Matt,” Nick interjected. “Are you even paying attention?”

Matt flushed scarlet, his ears and cheeks going red. “Um…what was the question?” he asked quietly, biting at his cuticles.

“Kid can’t even remember the question,” Chris rolled his eyes. “Too busy being ‘Miserable Matt’ to pay attention.”

“I’m not being miserable,” Matt huffed. “I was just thinking.”

“About your significant other treating you like a fucking baby? Don’t think we haven’t noticed.” Chris bit back.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Matt hastily pushed his chair back, already sobbing and struggling to breathe. He had been on the verge of panic all morning, and now that Chris had spewed his deepest secret on camera, there was no going back. The brunette ran up the stairs, trying not to hyperventilate as he burst through the bedroom door. You looked up from the desk where you were working, glancing at Matt’s huddled form on the bed, his body shaking with tears.

“Honey, what’s wrong? I thought you guys were filming?” You asked, checking the time on your phone as you rushed to Matt’s side.

Matt just sobbed, his wails ricocheting around the room. His hands had moved to tangle in his hair as he hyperventilated, eyes wide with panic. You could see it in Matt’s glazed over eyes that he wasn’t fully ‘there’, whether that be from the panic or from slipping into littlespace. Either way, you knew you had to help him. You gently removed Matt’s hands from his hair as he wailed, holding them softly.

“Matt. You are panicking. You need to breathe,” You instructed, placing one of his hands on your chest. “In for four, out for four. Copy me.”

Matt tried his best to copy you, and his cries slowly reduced to little sniffles and hiccups as he latched onto you, thumb migrating to his mouth. “Hate Chris. Hate him.” he mumbled, suckling on his thumb as his babyspace lisp made an appearance.

“Oh sweetheart,” You cooed sadly. “Is that what’s got you so upset?”

Your boy sniffled again, laying his head down on your shoulder. “Feels sicky.”

You pouted, knowing that Matt tended to get nauseous during and after a panic attack, and especially after a fight with his brothers. You didn’t ask what had gone on between him and Chris for fear of upsetting, but you knew the conversation would need to happen eventually. You just moved towards the bed, laying down with Matt and tucking him in next to you. You handed him his water bottle and Mr. Wrinkleton off the nightstand, watching for any signs of another impending panic attack.

“Can you drink some water, baby? Just a little?”

Matt nodded, taking a few small sips, before cuddling up with his stuffed animal. A great yawn escaped his mouth as you handed him his blue, decorated pacifier that read ‘Baby Boy’ on it. It wasn’t long before your boy was cuddled into your side, snoring softly while clutching his stuffie and suckling away on his pacifier. You knew that you would have to find out what Chris had done in order to make Matt so upset, but for now, you just focused on cuddling the sleeping baby beside you.

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @mattsfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxyz @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @bunny-cotton @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @not-phone-guy @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @faygo-frog @oobleoob @runasvengence @aemrsy

note ♡: my taglist is closed for the time being, thank you so much for your support 💐🧸🎀

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yuri-is-online · 4 months

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Same Anon here that dropped that mess of an angst post lol. Maybe I should find some name for myself if this becomes a regular thing.

There are a lot of valid points there. For as lightly as the story treats everything, wow this would be messed up irl. But I digress, I personally can see this potentially taking a much darker route. I don’t know if you’re comfortable talking about this so TW: Brief mention of suicide

I imagine Yuu to just bottle everything up for the aforementioned reasons of being seen as weak for expressing any of their emotions only for it to all come out in one big mental breakdown. I think it would be quite poetic for Yuu’s breakdown to be more of a quiet self-destructive thing just to contrast the showy, outwardly destructive nature of the overblots. I always thought it could be some spur of the moment decision to just end it all out of sheer hopelessness and a thoroughly crushed sense of self-worth. I just can’t see a teenager handling a burden this heavy very well. Whether or not Yuu survives could be up to how dark you want to go.

Also if it isn’t too much, I would like to see that post about the boys’ individual reactions to Yuu running away sometime. But I’m aware you only write for a few at a time so…

You are more than welcome to give yourself a name! I don't have any named annons so you are free to choose anything you like, and make regular appearances if that is what you wish. While I try to only write for a few characters at a time, I don't mind doing a bullet point type post with my thoughts on the boys reacting to Yuu running away sometime, but I need to think as part of me wants to write something sappy and romantic, while the other part wants to focus more on Yuu and their character. I could do both I suppose (￣ω￣;)

I'm fine with talking about suicide, but since it's a sensitive subject I am going to place my thoughts under read more and tag it so if it is something you, dear reader, are triggered by you needn't see more than you are comfortable with.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, discussions of suicide and depression, isolation, abandonment, and missing persons. This also kind of takes a trip into theory town I am so sorry annon. Please do not interact with the words below if you do not wish to think on such things.

I want to start out by saying that when a person is depressed it is not always obvious, even if they are contemplating suicide. We don't have a complete understanding of what drives someone to kill themselves because we can't ask people who have. I do think there is an element of assuming that either the world or you will be better off if you are dead; which I would like to stress simply is not true, but you are not evil for struggling with that feeling even if people try to make you feel like you are.

Yuu's breakdown being "more of a quiet self-destructive thing," as you stated dear friend, would be extremely poetic. To me it highlights the disparity between Yuu and the overblot boys. They have power and are able to hurt others to try and make themselves feel better, Yuu has next to none and is only able to hurt themselves.

Crowley mentions that there is counseling available to all NRC students, assuming the school follows real life laws we can assume the Professors are mandatory reporters. If Yuu shows signs of depression or self-harm, they will be required to report that and recommend Yuu for counseling, but the thing about therapy is that it's not a one size fits all solution. The patient needs to accept that they have a problem and, perhaps more importantly, trust their therapist otherwise you won't benefit from the treatment.

That's assuming that a counselor would even understand how to treat Yuu in the first place, there's a lot going on with their situation and while I could see a good therapist taking it very seriously, there's only so much they can do, which brings me to my sort of sticking point with this and why it took me so long to answer your ask.

Why in the hell is Yuu in Twisted Wonderland in the first place??? "Because they're Alice" ok sure but what does that like actually mean. I don't want to derail this into theory town but I keep thinking about the translated lines Crowley mutters to himself when calling Yuu a beast tamer that doesn't appear in the text box... something about how they look more like they are meant to be eaten by the beast than tame it.

There is a part of me that feels like Crowley wants Yuu to feel isolated and despondent about their chances of getting home, like he needs them to be accepting of their death and convinced it's the only way they will be useful. Something to do with Grim and that big Chimera at the beginning of the game, in the light novel there is someone telling Yuuya to take their hand but they can't move to take it, all they can do is stare up at the big monster and it's evil grin (if i remember correctly)

Anyway all of that to say I can see two sorts of scenarios leading to Yuu trying to harm themselves.

Route A: Summer

As was correctly pointed out in these tags on the original post, I think Summer would be the worst time for an actively depressed Yuu. If they have been seeing a counselor, they will likely not be available over the summer months, Crowley didn't take us on vacation with him the first time so there's no way he'll do it now, and everyone has their own families to get back to.

They only have Grim and the Ghosts. And while Yuu might love them, they technically belong here. Yuu does not. The lack of other friends bothering them means Yuu has time to think good and hard about where they are. And who they left behind.

I like to listen to Dateline while I work sometimes and one of the things that always gets to me is how little closure people feel when someone goes missing, even if they find out what happened to them. If Yuu is missing in their world and their family loves them... they just have next to no chance of ever finding that out. Ever.

If Yuu has a bad relationship with their family, or none at all, they probably start feeling like they are going insane. They have nothing worth going back to really, to the point that people would probably encourage them to see being in Twisted Wonderland as a good thing, a chance for a fresh start. But it has been anything but.

Summer would be a good time to run away, it's easier to be homeless in the Summer, plenty of places need part time help anyway, and Yuu can make a clean break from the school before anyone notices they're gone.

It's also a good time to decide you want to die. By the time your friends come back they will have already gotten used to life without you anyway.

.... i could see this making grim overblot tbh. He blames the school for taking Yuu from him and by the time everyone returns he is there. Waiting. The consequences of their actions given form.

A monument to all their sins.

Option B: Sacrifice

So back to theory tangent.

Grim and Yuu are one student. Crowley treats them as such, but what if he-

Or whoever the real final boss is

Need them to actually be one student.

So they approach Yuu, offer their sympathies. Tell them they know why Crowley cannot send Yuu home.

"Because you came here by dying, don't you remember? These events you have seen, all your misfortunes and troubles, they've all been like one big dream. What a terrible fate you've met... but no worries. I know how to set you free."

The strange masked man places his hand on your shoulder and guides you to the mirror. You see your reflection in it, for the first time you idly realize, hair spread out on the pavement with a halo of blood spatter about your sleeping head.

"You needn't be scared." the man's voice is calm, soothing even, so much so that you almost believe him when he says

"You've died once before, after all. You know exactly what it feels like, it will just be like going to sleep."

Sleep sounds good, even if you have just gotten done fighting to stay awake, so very good you nearly miss the creature's wicked grin spreading mockingly across the reflection of your peaceful face.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #tw sucidal ideation #tw suicide #sorry i was gone for so long i was obsessing over cows and ufos -_-#i think i worked it out of my system and put posting fic in my goals for this week so time to get back in the saddle

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eggmacguffin · 1 month

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#I HAVE A HAUNTED CLOWN DOLL NAMED CHARLISLE#AFTER THIS EXACT THING#HE PLAYS A HAUNTING MELODY IN A MINOR KEY AND SWAYS UNSETTLINGLY

I need you to know that you are SUCH an entity in the BEST of ways, this made my day and I will smile every time I think of it going into the future, AMAZING

TY TY TY

and I'm sorry but I am using this as an excuse to talk more about Charlisle because he is the light of my life and no one irl ever wants to hear about haunted clown dolls

my girlfriend's mom used to be a professional clown, so everyone in her life assumed* she liked clowns a lot and gave her clowns and clown themed things as presents for years. As a result, she has a TON of clowns. So many clowns that one year when my gf and her siblings couldn't find the Christmas decorations they decorated the entire house with clowns instead.

(*She liked clowns fine, but finds clown dolls a little creepy, actually)

So in 2021 I was helping my gf's mom move, right? And I unearth the Bad Clown section of the storage closet. For broken clowns, ugly clowns, clowns with missing limbs AND. Clowns She Doesn't Like Looking At. Charlisle was there. and I was enchanted.

gf's mom noticed, and said I could have him. I asked if she was sure. she said "I Don't Like Him. I Don't Want Him."

He stands close to the height of a newborn baby. His color scheme is a Ronald McDonald nightmare, his makeup is garish, his expression is inscrutable. his hands are blindingly white, huge, stiff, & ceramic. they sound like bone when you clack them together.

He can stand on two legs but is most comfortable balanced on one, and has a key installed in the middle of his back that, if you wind it up, makes him dance and play a twinkling little melody.

Now, I have no idea how old Charlisle is, but I assume the song was once whimsical and the dance was once charming.

This is not the case in the present day.

the song has slowed into a haunting minor key, and the dance is now a rigid, jerky bending of the body with limbs frozen unnaturally in place. each performance grinds to a slow, unsettling stop with the last note drawn out unnaturally like a question for which no answer exists.

The best part, however, is how very sensitive the winding mechanism is.

If you turn Charlisle's key and let him perform, for the rest of that day he is now "alive".

This means: if you pick him up, touch him, or even set something on the table next to him, there is a chance his mechanism will trigger just a little.

What this looks like in practice: you visit my home, you set your stuff on the dining room table, and a horrid little clown monster sings a single haunting note and twitches menacingly in your direction. for no reason at all.

I love Charlisle so much. he is like a son to me

#asks #sexysmeagolshitposting #i guess if anyone's curious i could take a photo after i get home?#clownposting #twilight #rereading this and. im not sure this post has an audience anywhere on the entire planet. oh well. maybe i could send it to my gf's mom

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noobsomeexagerjunk · 11 months

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Aypiere and Quackity are talking!

Around 30-40 minutes in Aypierre's stream; some significant points:

Quackity is cleaning up the airplane debris and plans to build a structure there (a Mexican or a French one)

Aypierre suggests a replica of the Arc de Triomphe to fill in the space in the wall

Aypierre hands Quackity shit, to his delight

The two discuss the potentiality of Aypierre being a candidate

Quackity says he wants to hold back for the event

Aypierre believes he and the rest of the French members will be competitive about it

Quackity gives some reminders about the delivery of the manual

Quackity and Aypierre have some cultural exchanges. The constant protesting in France is real. They compare French and Mexican drinking behavior.

They begin talking about America and some cultural observations they have with it. Aypierre finds America very friendly.

Aypierre mentions his streaming schedule and kids! This reminded Quackity of dealing with Luzu's own schedule.

Quackity talked about a culture shock moment in Spain regarding the auto-ticketing of cars. He then proceeds to rant about America's car culture.

"Los Angeles is nothing like the movies,"

Quackity reminisces of his childhood visits to San Francisco

(Dang Aypierre has been to America that many times???)

Quackity proposes they go drinking together at some point

Quackity praises California weather

The two discuss being able to speak English for travel + the implications of accents

Quackity starts ranting about LA traffic

Quackity is shocked learn that one can take a 2 hour train ride from France to London

Quackity asks Aypierre to compare London to Paris—Aypierre thinks British girls are prettier but French food is better

They discuss American food. There are some good stuff but they note how processed it can be.

Quackity reminisces about Mexican food upon being asked about it by Aypierre

The two build dick statues out black wool (?) and white quartz (?)

Aypierre places down the Make Love, Not War picture he has, baffling Quackity

Quackity shows Aypierre pictures of his places/houses in the server

Aypierre has placed down an image of himself cooking

Quackity shows Aypierre a picture of his younger self

They discuss Andorra—Quackity shows Aypierre a picture of himself in Andorra

They are discussing towns with silly names, like Montcuq

Quackity is straight up showing Aypierre cursed pictures of himself

B O O B S

Aypierre dropped down a picture of beef (and I am now hungry it is almost my dinner time)

Quackity accidently poked his eye IRL

Quackity admits to having a phobia of airplane bathrooms

He drew in paint to help explain why

asskiss

Quackity, during a first class flight, held in his shit for 13 hours due to his fear of airplane bathrooms

"It was like an orgasm?" "Better than an orgasm!"

Quackity talks about roadtrip stopovers

Bad whispers to Aypierre if he could place a warp in his factory. Aypierre said yes!

(Quackity you gotta help unravel the biases Aypierre has gotten about Mexico my man just assumed kids do coke in the bathroom during recess) <- Quackity does this

(Yikes Q-man people take pictures in the bathroom like that???)

They are now talking about vulnerability in the act of defecation

Quackity starts praising toilets in Amsterdam

Between me and Quackity, one of us is wrong when it comes to pronouncing "bidet"

Eyy squatting toilets! (I encountered one of those during a trip to Beijing and I hated them so much god)

More is happening right now but I gotta stop liveblogging (Quackity is showing a picture of tacos!)

#qsmp #qsmp liveblogging #quackity #aypierre

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smolsix · 8 months

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-blows dust off this blog-

Little Nightmares III, huh???

I was trying to avoid being excited about it because no solid release date and 2024 could be a few months from now or a year from now and Idk how long I can handle being so fuckin hyped for this game YEEHAW

BUT I CAN'T, I KEEP THINKING ABT THE GAME AAHAHHGAGA

so here are my thoughts, if you wanted to know

FIRST OF ALL, i am so glad that after we saw LTNM II we thought it'd be co-op but it was just an AI, that we finally get co-op! AND ONLINE TOO, i spent the first day worried it'd be shared screen same room situation since i wasn't trying to get my hopes up but then I realised I can just.. google it.. AND IT IS!!! ONLINE!! IDK WHO I AM GONNA PLAY IT W FIRST AAAAAAAA

anyways, you can definitely tell it's a new studio working on this game, the world feels mostly the same but the character designs themselves are definitely stylistically similar, but not the same. With Six especially, the MC designs were very simplistic and realistic but used colour (or for Mono, a single design quirk being the bag) to stand out against their backgrounds and against the enemies which are largely neutral colours. But these new ones feel... "over designed"? On their own they definitely aren't, but in comparison to Mono, Six, Seven, and even NPCs like the flashlight girl, they have a lot more going on (especially the little wrench kid, Idk which one is Alone and which one is Low yet btw OOP)

Despite it being a new studio and you can tell, new puzzles and environments, they're still doing their best to have the OGs vibes and whatnot to feel familiar, namely in the trailer they bring back the fuses, and the additional gameplay video there's a short scene with an environment with all the shelves you can find in LTNM 1s gnome section (the one with the cart that is affected by the Maws swaying).

But regardless, it still feels different enough my brain is still nervous about it. I also feel In A Way about Tarsier having LTNM II explode and their franchise getting the attention it deserves, only to have it stuck with Bandai and now it's going to likely explode again and they aren't involved. Idk how anyone on that team feels about it, but if it were me omg.

Also the only boss we've seen so far (i hope they add more and i def want some to be a surprise so im not gonna assume this is the only one for now) feels... out of place? it has the design qualities of a LTNM boss, but the size of it makes it more of a spectacle than a warped/corruption of an adult. All the previous bosses fit in their environment, we are the small ones and they are scaled to the world around them. This is the first time, outside monster Six who imo is a bit of an outlier anyways due to her circumstances, we're getting a boss who is this huge and doesn't even fit their own environment. I hope we get a lore reason for this in some way, because currently the boss doesn't have the same vibe as the others and it's throwing me off a bit. Don't get me wrong, it'll be terrifying, but looking at the picture as a whole they are sort of out of place for me rn. I don't hate the bitch either, I'm not gonna be like omg get rid of it or change it, but it does strike me as odd seeing it for now.

And yes the tall man is too tall for a lot of things, but he's not THAT big. He's more like yer tall guy who hits his head off doorways, which happens irl anyways LMAO

Little Nightmares primarily tries to capture the feeling of being a small child and how everything is big and scary, but a doll that huge is out of the realm of reality set up for us already. It's gone from scary corrupted animal to godzilla, if that makes sense.

OH AND THE MIRRORS ARE VERY LTNM COMICS OF THEM TEE HEE < 3

#while i find the MCs designs to be a bit much for now they're fast growing on me as characters #they give me indie movie vibes more than little nightmares MCs vibes #but hey if we get a 4th installment then it goes from an outlier to part of a trend #my brain will get over it eventually anyways these are just my initial thoughts #oh and as long as they either dont bring back the flashlight or change its controls im mostly fine w the puzzles and whatnot #like suuuuuper minor gripe but i loved in the first games that when you had a weapon it was too big and too heavy #they had serious weight when you swung them and the mcs clearly struggled #and it really helped you feel powerless even when armed #i know the masked kid has a slingshot btw but i just hope it isnt used as an easy weapon and more as a distraction #having any kind of upper hand in this world sort of diminishes the initial scare factor they were going for #being that youre a small child helpless in this world #outside sixs ending but aside from the hallway you literally dont play w her power at the end #text #long post #little nightmares 3 #ltnm 3 #ooc

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pokemonpetfinder · 9 months

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Introduction Post

Shit- what am I supposed to say again?

Ah, whatever. Hi, I'm Ivaan. I'm running the blog for Pokemon Pet Finder; a place where people can come and find good partners to adopt. Currently located in Paldea and moved here since I also work as a kindergarten teacher. Don't call me dad; I know I teach young kids and breed pokemon, but I'm not a dad, and I have been called dad enough!

Post on how to adopt here

Post on Pokemon available for adoption

Anyways, team, yeah. I just have a Wobbufettet named Punching bag, a Chansey named Egg Gal, and a Ditto named Rated R. Honorary mention would be Marie Antoinette the Florges, and Girly the Happiny.

Rules

-Do NOT sell the pokemon that I draw and design. It's a dick move to sell a free design given to you by an artist

-While the character I'm roleplaying is in his 40s, I am not, and I am a minor. I will not be taking any NSFW submits or asks

-If your account has the default tumblr pfp, is untitled, has no description, has a pornographic name, or pornagraphic imagery, I'll assume that you are a bot and you will be blocked

-Time is weird on this blog and most pokemon on the adoption profiles will stay the same age, even if its been a couple years irl. So a 6th month old pokemon will still be 6 months old 3 years later

-In adoption posts, Ivaan is going to be a lot more cheery and friendly than he is in his personal posts because his boss says he has to. You might notice a personality switch between him

-This is a roleplay, and Ivaan's views might be different from my own. He also might be more passive and snarky, and I don't purposely mean to be mean or offend anyone

-Levels don't exist on this blog

-Posts where Ivaan is talking about the center and rules and all of that will be tagged as pokepet talks, while his personal stuff will be tagged as Ivaan talks

(This account is run by the same person who runs @quillpokebiology @pokedesignercalli @onyxgeoleader and @historianofgalar . I made another blog because I have no self control, and I thought the stuff I could post here would be fun.)

#introduction post #pokemon #pokemon irl #irl pokemon #pokeblogging #pokeblog #rotomblr #pokeblr #pkmn #pkmn irl #irl pkmn #pokeblog rp #pokemon daycare

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pancakeke · 6 months

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urghhhhh

legitimately baffling how many people seem to have just accepted youtube's ad bullshit until posts started popping up spoon feeding everyone how to fix it by updating ublock origin. these posts have sooo many replies along the lines of "omg thank you for telling me there's a fix!"

also for the past day or whatever now people have been reblogging a post related to the youtube issue directly from me just so they can bitch at me for adding a "use firefox" comment onto it. they seem to think I'm a dumb fucking moron because the problem affects firefox now too (though few have also noted that there is also a fix).

apologies for not clarifying but I thought it was normal for people to pop a query into a search engine if they are having trouble with something. because doing that gives you the exact information needed to fix the problem a large percentage of the time. chrome has overwhelming market share yet openly stated that it is going to stop allowing ad blocking extensions so step #1 is to ditch it for firefox. if you still experience issues after this, how should you approach the situation logically? think that because you are currently unaware of a solution then no solution exists or could ever possibly exist? so there is no longer need for any thought or action?

you can not be telling me that people experienced a problem they considered significant enough to yell at me over it but did absolutely nothing else. did they really not even try to look it up? are they really lacking not only a desire to solve problems but also whatever exists in ordinary thought processes that makes you aware problems may be solvable in the first place?

maybe I am taking things at face value here. maybe the issue is more like, they heard this is a problem from a third party but it doesn't affect them so they had no reason to find a solution, yet still felt the need to repeat what they heard. or something like that. but this attitude of stubborn helplessness and anti curiosity is something I deal with at work so much.

the way people irl treat me like I'm just weird and stupid and the way they get hostile with me by immediately assuming I have no idea how things "really work" and that my actions are "wasting time" when I can't get what I need initially and try an alternative method. god it gets sooo exhausting and makes me feel like I'm going insane. because why else would I get so much anger and resistance? if this behavior is so widespread then I must be the actual problem right??

these people act like it's always better refusing to communicate, trying nothing beyond the bare minimum (which often means not trying anything at all), and then shifting blame elsewhere when the problem gets worse. admitting their first thought didn't work and pivoting is unacceptable because *huge list of vague excuses that are either bullshit or irrelevant*

I don't think this has anything to do with intelligence at all btw. it's gotta be ego related or a weird pride thing. or like how for whatever reason some people feel too much shame to ever admit they don't know something or aren't an expert at something. or they are too paralyzed by fear to attempt anything new if they might not become perfect at it immediately. but christ you can not let that kind of stuff fester amd become the normal way you live your life.

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year

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Anon from before (4th time caller now!)

I wanted to thank you for being so kind in your response to to the point that I am fully crying.

Side tangent: I always worry when I talk about this stuff that due to either a) the fact that you can’t tell tone on the internet or b) the fact that I have communication issues irl that talking about this will make me come off as incel-y (for lack of a better word). I feel like it can be difficult to communicate the concept of “I’m an adult who’s never had any romantic or sexual experiences and I have complicated feelings about that fact about myself” without people assuming that I’m like��.blaming other people for it or something lmao?? Nay, I’m but a humble dyke who is stuck in a combo of slowly getting over some self-worth shit while also being unable to talk to people. But hey, I try!

Anyway, thank you again ♥️

welcome back, anon!

it may interest you to know (f you don't already, and if you do I'm sorry for the repetition) that the term "involuntary celibate" was originally coined by a bisexual woman who was frustrated by the difficulty she was experiencing in finding romantic connection. going by the mononym Alana, she started an online space called "Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project" where she could connect with others experiencing similar struggles with loneliness and self-esteem. the intent of discussing involuntary celibacy was never to place blame on those who were uninterested in the incels or to incite violence, but rather to discuss the pain of feeling socially alienated. Alana has struggled, a lot, with what the so-called incel movement has become, and her story is a very interesting one.

what I'm saying is that nothing about feeling lonely inherently makes you a bad person. harm happens when people decide that they're being wrong by other people because they're not getting laid and they turn their feelings of hurt outward onto others, and that's absolutely not the intent that came across in your previous question.

the absence of one kind of happiness in your life will never preclude the possibility of others, sweet anon. stay kind and open to all the kinds of love and joy life has to offer, and you'll be just fine 💜

#sex edventures 2023

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acacia-may · 1 month

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Acacia's Definitive Defense of Langris x Finesse

No one asked about this pairing, but I'm going to ramble about them anyway... especially since I realized I don't think I've ever actually written a proper post about them as this has been sitting in my drafts for over a year (A/N: Yikes! Sorry friends. I completely forgot I wrote this until today when I tried to find that post I was absolutely certain I had made about Langris x Finesse only to find it buried in my unposted drafts 😅🙈 But I'm posting it now to coincide with the ship ask game so it kind of works...? Maybe? I have no excuses...).

Anyways, dear goodness do I have thoughts about this ship. I’m not sure I can even wrangle them all, but I am going to try my best.

I’m sure it’s pretty clear from my blog that I have a deep love for my spatial mage boys and want good things for them which is one of the main reasons why I have a lot of concerns about the whole House Vaude soap opera. A friend of mine (irl) and I once discussed that plotline for literally 6 hours so I could go on and on about this for ages, but I have tried my best to be brief. That didn't really happen so I apologize in advance for all of the rambling.

I've tried to keep the focus of this post on Langris and Finesse's relationship, so please check out this post if you want to hear my many thoughts on the House Vaude succession drama as whole and in general. To keep things organized, I've divided this discussion into 2 main subsections for clarity under the cut!

(Warnings: Black Clover spoilers and discussion of some heavier topics such as childhood trauma and abuse. Arranged marriage is also mentioned)

Why I Think Langris and Finesse Genuinely Love Each Other (not necessarily in a romantic way but definitely in a selfless care and concern kind of way)

One of my most basic premises for my personal interpretation of Langris' character really comes down to the fact that I think what Langris actually wants more than anything else is unconditional love and to be accepted for who he is (rather than what he does/his accomplishments). He wants to have people who love him, a family—but he'd never admit this because he is convinced he'll never get it. He is convinced that love needs to be earned and he can't earn it, and his relationship with Lady Finesse is a perfect example of this, I think.

It hurts Langris that she is just the kindest person ever and she doesn't like/love him (or such is the reality in Langris' mind anyway given the fact that he has carried around that one time she complimented Finral as "she hates me" for literal years in the canon. But I digress). Langris doesn't like games he can't see a possibility of winning. He closes himself off from love and building meaningful relationships because he doesn't think he'll "win" people's love in the end. He's very cynical and jaded in this way, but more than that, he's wounded. It comes from a place of being denied love without strings attached, without conditions for his entire life and of being told his by his parents that love has to be earned and being convinced that he can't earn it, that nothing he does will ever be good enough and that he will never deserve the love he so desperately craves. And in that way, it comes from a fear of being hurt and rejected. When you care about someone, you give them the power to hurt you—and Langris doesn't want that kind of vulnerability. So I think he just completely counts himself out of the running when it comes to Finesse and defers to his brother—assuming (probably correctly) that she’d choose Finral if she was given a choice between the two of them.

All of that said, he can't quite stop himself from caring for her with a genuine love and respect (not necessarily in a romantic sense but he does care for her)—it’s just sealed off somewhere and not something he really thinks about or allows himself to feel (let alone label) until his brother "declaring war" on him brings all of that to the surface and he kind of has to reconcile how much he wants to be the Head of House Vaude (what he’s worked for his entire life) with how much he wants Lady Finesse to be happy. I love how in that scene there is actually a moment (at least in the anime) in which "the camera" turns and we're watching the scene unfold from Langris' eyes/perspective immediately before he gets involved and tells Finral to clean up his act.

(A/N: If you listen very carefully you can hear the sound of Langris' entire world falling apart...)

Okay, bad jokes aside, this is a huge moment for Langris. It takes him all of five seconds to decide that Lady Finesse's happiness is far more important to him than House Vaude, than his title, his future, his own dreams and aspirations that he has worked for literally his entire life and, ultimately, is more important than everything he has looked to for his own self-worth and fulfillment up unto that point (which causes him to have a bit of an existential crisis as he tries to figure out who he is without those things, without being the next Head of House Vaude, but I digress again). It is an incredible act of love to set aside what someone wants for themselves in order to make another person happy—to choose what is best for another person even at great personal sacrifice. Regardless of how you want to qualify that love (romantic or platonic), it does not diminish the gravity of Langris' sacrifice and the willingness he shows to choose Finesse's happiness over the things that are (seemingly) the most important to him in the world.

Up until this point, Langris is this incredibly goal-oriented character who is set on becoming the best, the strongest, and eventually the head of House Vaude which comes off as self-interested and a little ruthless in his willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve his goals, but suddenly, here he is, ready to give all of that up so that Lady Finesse can have the chance to be happy. It's almost like he is saying (honestly, far louder and clearer than any words possibly could), "I love you more than all of that."

Why else would he be helping his brother take over as heir to House Vaude when that actually seems to be something Langris wants for himself? (I know the poll I ran examined some different ideas and interpretations but that's always been my personal take on it). It’s almost like in that moment, Langris has realized that he can’t make Lady Finesse happy (even if he wants to), but he thinks that Finral can so he wants to make Finral into the best he can be for her.

Once Langris is reasonably sure that Finral is at a place that he can make Finesse happy and has become a man "worthy of her," I could definitely see him stepping aside so that his brother could take over their House and marry her—purely out of concern for Finesse’s happiness, and there is something incredibly selfless and very beautiful about that.

I think Finesse's side of things is much more practical. The fact of the matter is that Finesse is royalty in a medieval society where she will inevitably be married off for a political alliance and/or to produce children, and she has probably always known that she needs to marry out of duty/responsibility, so I can’t really see her as that much of a hopeless romantic given the circumstances. If she allows herself anything, it is the hope that she will get to spend her life with someone who does care for her and who she can be content with. I don't think throughout most of Finesse's life and certainly not throughout this whole arranged marriage business that anyone has ever really asked her what she wanted or ever really cared about her wishes before, but Langris seems to have a genuine interest in her wishes and her happiness more so than anyone else. And I think she does care for him (again, not necessarily in a romantic way but it is a genuine care and concern of at least friendship).

As I discussed in this post, when Langris has all that elf-business and the King threatens to dissolve the betrothal and punish the Vaudes, it is Finesse who comes to their defense rather than taking what is quite possibly her only chance at an "out." And it is an informed, free choice on her part. I love her line in the English dub that she "knows Lord Langris and has no misgivings about him" and therefore essentially begs her uncle not to "judge him too harshly." I think there is something very strong and very courageous in her decision to believe in the good in Langris even when he is at his worst, and her concern is truly and completely focused on what is best for him. I'm especially thinking of that moment when she begs him to stop before he does something he will regret. She's worried about him: his hurt and his guilt. She really wants what's best for him, and it's this love for him and this belief in him that really brings out the best in Langris.

My absolute favorite thing about this ship (besides how selfless they are towards each other) is really that Finesse has this way of bringing out this softer, gentler side of Langris that, I think, very few people have actually seen. Langris himself is so insistent on hiding this (probably a learned response from growing up in an environment where any hint of emotion and any sensitivity is viewed as a weakness), but really he has such a deep capacity for love and given the opportunity would be fiercely loyal.

Langris may not care about a lot of people, but the ones he chooses to care about he will love forever. He's just such a tsun about it, I think, so it can be very hard for anyone (and especially for those with preconceived notions of him as a snotty stick-in-the-mud) to see that he's really very sweet and awkward as heck about his feelings. Langris' love might be quiet—it's not very flashy and usually shows itself in doing little, everyday things for the people he loves—but still waters run very, very deep and he has shown that he would do just about anything to protect the people he loves most and make them happy, no matter what that means for himself. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he would die for Finesse if it came down to it.

Ultimately, I can imagine a lot of different outcomes for this relationship (some of which never, ever cross over into that romantic place). I really just want them both to be happy whether that means they end up together or not, but yes, I could see them happy with each other in a romantic sense under very specific circumstances since they do have such a selfless love for each other (but I think that is probably a discussion for another time because this is already super, super long so I'm cutting myself off in favor of the next section...).

Why I personally think Langris rather than Finral is better suited for Finesse

As much I don't like pitting ships against each other, I don't think it's avoidable in this case since she is going to be in arranged marriage with one of them. To paraphrase a favorite musical of mine, it's not a matter of "if" but which one. And I think it's best for me to just start off by saying that while I do genuinely like and appreciate Finesse and Finral as a ship as well, I personally think that Langris and Finesse are better suited for one another in the long term.

I will admit upfront that this is in part because of my own personal experiences of having a chronic illness (and needless to say that is a personal bias that colors my opinions, so please just keep that in mind), but I think it's important to talk about the fact that Finesse is chronically ill because it's not something I've ever really seen discussed when talking about ships for her and I really think it should be taken into account. Like Finesse, I have been sick for most of my life, and I can really relate to the kind of difficulties and limitations that Finesse likely experiences due to being chronically ill and the realities of the less active and much more slower-paced life she would lead and, by proxy, the life anyone who married her would have to lead. Again, I am not saying that I don’t like or couldn’t imagine her & Finral together (I do genuinely like that ship too), but I almost think Langris is better suited for her in that he actually wants (or seems to want) the slower-paced life they’d probably have together. For instance, there are likely to be frequent situations that would arise in which Finesse is too ill or too tired to go out and her husband would then be “forced” to stay home with her. With Langris, I think, there would never really need to be much of that feeling of guilt on Finesse’s part or the fear that she is taking away something from Langris or being a burden, because Langris isn’t super sociable and would just want to stay home anyway. In fact, let’s be honest here, he’d probably, actually feel kind of relieved that he has gotten out of unwanted socializing. Whereas Finral is a much more lively and sociable person (rather than an "old soul" like Langris), and though Finral would never, ever want Finesse to feel like a burden or to feel guilty about being sick, I could imagine there is more of that feeling (at least from Finesse’s side) that he has given up a lot more to be with her since his active social life would drastically change as soon as they married.

There's also the matter of the panic Finral would probably have whenever Finesse was ill or having a flare of symptoms. Of course, Langris would be worried as well, but I think because of his personality, he is better able to shelve that and help in a crisis rather than Finral who gets really worked up and then just sort of shuts down. Obviously this is something that can be learned over time, but I just worry that it would be a constant source of stress for Finral which would ultimately make Finesse very worried about him and upset that he is upset on her account. I think Finesse would have a lot of fear that the life she could give a lively, busy, & social person like Finral would be holding him back in some way. The question there is really: will what Finral wants out of life ever gel with the limitations Finesse has to live with? Whereas I don't think that question is as much of an issue with Langris since he is an old soul and incredibly steady, very unlike his more restless, adventurous, and high-energy brother.

I think Langris and Finesse are alike in this way. Though they have many differences in their personalities (and a really nice balance there), they have a lot of similarities in worldview and their attitudes towards life and their life goals—being more traditional, formal, and proper ‘old souls.' Whereas I think she and Finral have more similarities in personality (despite him being much more lively), they’re both incredibly kind, gentle & easy-going people who aren’t particularly ambitious and often make decisions based on what will make other people happy and "keep the peace." But worldview wise he seems much more modern and less traditional than her which I could see causing some tensions since I think they want different things out of life, in a way. It’s almost more important to be alike in life goals/worldview than personality, I think.

I also think Finesse and Langris share common interests and genuinely enjoy each other's company (as we get these glimpses of in the anime where they're just having a quiet, comfortable tea parties together for instance). Even if it started off as an obligation to spend time together because of this arranged marriage they were going to be in, I like to think that eventually Langris and Finesse actually became fairly good friends and came to genuinely enjoy each other's company. I guess it’s a bit unfair to Finral to bring this up since we haven’t seen him spend a lot of time with Finesse so we can't say that they don’t enjoy each other’s company but I just don’t see them having the same shared interests that she would have with Langris.

There is a lot more I could say about these two and their relationship, but I think that's enough ramblings for now. If you read this all the way through to the end, bless you. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Cheers!! 💖

#i love them so so so much #langris vaude #finesse calmreich #langris vaude x finesse calmreich #finesse calmreich x langris vaude #finesse x langris #langris x finesse #i can't believe i never posted this (what is wrong with me?)

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nobodysdaydreams · 8 days

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Hey! I just wanted to say I appreciate you Reblogging/posting more Christian content. I’m a Protestant, but I’ve never really seen Tumblr as a place where I can/should talk about faith and engage with other Christians. It’s been really nice, though, to see your Christian posts on my dash, and I might start doing some of my own.

Curio, this ask means the absolute world to me, and please know I would love any Christian posts you made! 🥰

As for seeing tumblr as a place where you "can" or “should/should not” talk about your faith, I think you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable and makes you happy.

The whole reason I got a tumblr was because I didn’t have a place in my life where I could talk about my hyper fixations and interests, so I do that here. The neurotypicals in my life found it hard to listen to my ramblings, and even when they did indulge me, they never really appreciated or understood why it made me so happy. It’s nice to have people who understand and appreciate what I'm talking about (and I’m so grateful to all of you for that).

The reason I started talking about Christianity on my blog is kinda similar: I'm not in a place where I can talk about it irl, which leaves a whole aspect of my life I can't discuss (or even mention) with people. I don’t want to get into the details just in case this post somehow reaches anyone who knows me irl (I doubt any of them would have a tumblr, but I could be wrong), but to make a long story short, I’ve had people who are my peers and higher ups in places I work imply (well not imply, they straight up said it in a public talk) that religious people should not be allowed to have certain jobs or wouldn’t be good at certain jobs, including my job (no they don’t know I’m religious and actually think I’m one of the best at my job, ironically) and in other professional situations I have been harassed in… for the sake of avoiding a trigger warning, “very inappropriate” ways specifically due to the fact that I’m religious. The saying I shouldn’t be allowed to have my job thing was completely unprompted since they didn’t know I was religious at the time. The other thing was because I wrote a cross necklace one time and offhandedly mentioned going to Church when asked on a Monday what I did the day before (which I regret telling them and will not be doing irl again). I have other examples, but I think you get the idea.

So yeah, in both cases it’s been a bummer to have something that’s a part of me, but I just have to go through life pretending it doesn’t exist. Not even in a “yeah I go to Church, I might mention it sometimes, but I’m not trying to force it on you or anything.” Or “there’s this show I really like and I write fan fiction about it. I know you probably think it’s cringe, but it makes me happy and a lot of people really love it” way. In the real world, I don’t talk about going to Church ever even when it’s relevant and most people just assume I don’t have hobbies because I know if I told them I wrote a 300k fanfic they’d find it a cringey waste of time. I don’t want to make either of those my whole personality or force anyone to listen to me talk extensively about an aspect of my life that they personally don’t like, but it is also weird when I have to be like “sorry, gotta run, I have a meeting at 5 today” and people are like “oh what meeting?” And I’m like “uhhhhh… not Bible study?” (Because I’m smooth like that) or when people are like “what do you do for fun?” And I’m like “writing” and they’re like “oh what writing?” And I’m like “well whatever I write, it’s certainly not 300k words of fanfic haha…”

All this to say, if I can’t talk about my hobbies and religion on tumblr, then where exactly am I supposed to do it? Like I said in my original post, I want to be sensitive to people’s traumas, I’ve known people (both religious and nonreligious) who have religious trauma, and I understand people don’t always have the positive relationship Christianity that I do, but that’s what tag blocking is for and there is no reason my followers who don’t like religion shouldn’t still be able to enjoy my fandom related content. Plus so far the worst harassment I’ve gotten online for posting Christian content doesn’t even begin to compare to the stuff I’ve dealt with irl (and I hope we never get there. Obviously, this is the internet, but I’m comforted by the fact the bar for harassment I’ve had to deal with is pretty high. I certainly hope no one is foolish or terrible enough to consider that as a challenge). Additionally, as I said in that post, just because some of my fics have religious themes in them or ideas about redemption, forgiveness, and love that have been directly inspired by my faith doesn’t mean my secular and non-Christian followers don’t, haven’t or can’t enjoy them. And so far, the vast majority of my followers (Catholic, Protestants, atheists, agnostic, those of other faiths, etc.) have been extremely nice about it in my asks and DM’s, saying that they either like the Christian content I’m reblogging or appreciate the tag blocking system so they can continue to enjoy my fandom content.

So post what you want and what you feel comfortable with. It’s your blog, your space, and you should be able to do what you want with it. Best of luck my friend! 💒✝️💕

#Bods Answers #christianity #catholicism #catholic

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myemuisemo · 2 months

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Gorgeous wilderness description opens "The Avenging Angels," part 12 of Letters from Watson. I wonder how much was inspired by Sir Richard Francis Burton's The City of Saints, recounting his travels in the west and visit to Brigham Young.

Our fleeing party is initially in the Oquirrh Mountains west of Salt Lake City.

The modern highway route skirts the Oquirrhs, in favor of a straight run across the salt flats.

If Ferrier, Lucy, and Jefferson Hope really made 30 miles in their first days, they reached the Cedar Mountains, which are less terrifyingly craggy but very much a desert. Deseret Peak is the pinnacle of this range, though any route across would look for a lower pass.

Were they to make it into what's now Nevada -- with Carson City clear the other side of the state -- there'd be a lot more of this. It's not hospitable country even today.

The big horn sheep is exotically western! And genuine! I am distracted from Jefferson Hope's wasting much of his kill by the discovery that the Sierra Nevada mountains (California - Nevada border, nowhere near our fleeing party yet, but important to me IRL) have their own genetically distinct big horn population.

Hope's slaughtered big horn is likely a Rocky Mountain big horn.

Of course, it's all a disaster. Everyone had to be doomed by the narrative in some way.

But we get an exact date: August 4, 1860.

Camp Floyd, the U.S. Army camp for the occupation of Utah following the Utah War of 1857-8, was right at the south end of the Oquirrh Mountains. Jefferson Hope had the option of hiding Ferrier and Lucy in the mountains and walking them right into the protection of the U.S. military. Maybe there were too many LDS settlers in the low spots in between (though I think Doyle didn't know or remember that the Utah War had happened).

Now comes the crucial moment that chafes me hard.

As the young fellow realized the certainty of her fate, and his own powerlessness to prevent it, he wished that he, too, was lying with the old farmer in his last silent resting-place. Again, however, his active spirit shook off the lethargy which springs from despair. If there was nothing else left to him, he could at least devote his life to revenge.

What about rescuing Lucy after she's married? Okay, Jefferson Hope can't get back to Salt Lake City in time to prevent a forced marriage. However, we're told later that she was a marriage prize primarily for control of her father's property. Once that's in the hands of her husband, would he bother pursuing her? In this period, marriage would make it his and eliminate her rights to it. (I'm assuming nobody is disputing the legality of polygamous marriages in this universe.)

Jefferson Hope really seems to buy in that once married (against her will), Lucy is legitimately another man's property. Admittedly, it's an era when pressuring an heiress into marriage was seen as fairly acceptable, if one's table manners were good. The burden was on the young woman to be too wise and firm to give in, and yet when Lucy shows fine judgment and takes action to avoid the match, she's taken by force. The system is so completely rigged against her; no wonder she can't find any hope to live for.

The schism that sends Drebber and Stangerson on their merry way appears to be fictional, as the Reorganized LDS under Joseph Smith III in the Midwest is too early (1861) and the Godbeites in SLC is too late (1869).

By the end of Jefferson Hope's epic pursuit from Russia to France to Denmark to England. we have now accounted for Drebber's existence in Cleveland, his employment of Stangerson, the gold ring, and the note about how Jefferson Hope is in Europe.

We have not accounted for why Drebber would go arm in arm with his enemy into a vacant house.

#letters from watson #sherlock holmes

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singular-yike · 7 months

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Yago Ametsukana (Revisited)

My analysis on Yago Ametsukana was the first post I've ever made here, and while I still think it holds up to scrutiny 100%, I've since found a comfortable format in which to write these, so think it'd be nice to revisit and expand on it~!

And so, here's

A Thousand Blades and a Thousand Arms — Yago Ametsukana

Name: Yago Ametsukana

Given Name: Yago

Their given name, Yago (ヤゴ), is the Japanese word for dragonfly larvae, nymphs and naiads.

This is reinforced by its official Chinese rendering as 水蠆, which is also the Japanese kanji for the word and refers explicitly to the same things.

Family/God Name: Ametsukana

Their family name, Ametsukana (天目津金) is modelled after the names of Shinto deities, like those one would find in the Kojiki or Nihon Shoki, thus it takes a bit to analyse.

This name can be sub-divided into 3 parts:

First is "ame" (天目), the pronunciation along can refer to "the heavens", though further dissecting the name reveals that "a" is assigned specifically to 天, which means "heaven(ly)".

This can be deduced from the fact that "me" is a standard reading of 目, which means "eye". Taken as a whole, "ame" here combines to give "heavenly eye".

Secondly is "tsu" (津), the word literally means "harbour", though its often used in Shinto deity names for its pronunciation alone as an attributive particle, in other words, it means "of".

Finally is "kana" (金), which could mean "gold, metal or money", though considering Yago's occupation and domain likely means "metal"

Putting the three parts together, the name probably means something along the lines of "metal of the heavenly eye".

Curiously, this surname actually seems to be moreso Yago's title as a god rather than their name, as we see Yago invite Sukune to "become the next Ametsukana" in BPoHC.

Mythological Inspiration

Like a good chunk of Len'en characters, Yago is based on Japanese mythology, not just one such figure, but three! Let's quickly go over them here:

Shinto Deity: Ame-no-Mahitotsu-no-Kami

Firstly and most majorly, Yag is based on the Shinto god Ame-no-Mahitotsu-no-Kami (天目一箇神 lit. "Heavenly one-eyed god").

Below: The Usuno Hitotsume Shrine (薄野一目神社), one of the places where Mahitotsu is enshrined. (I couldn't find a traditional depiction of him so have this instead.)

Mahitotsu's Domain & Story

He is a god of metalworking and blacksmithing, of metalworkers and miners, mirrored by Yago's own domain of blacksmithing.

A god closely associated with him is Amatsumara (天津麻羅). He appears in the Kojiki, where he helps forge the mirror Yata no Kagami, used to lure the sun goddess Amaterasu out of hiding.

In fact, in the Kogo Shūi (古語拾遺), Mahitotsu is said to in fact have assumed the identity of Amatsumara during those events, and are thus the selfsame entity.

Perhaps this very event is what lead to Yago's contributions being acknowledged and their subsequent promotion to godhood.

The Hyottoko Mask

Also, Mahitotsu is sometimes said to be the origin of an archetypal character known as the Hyottoko (火男 lit. "fire man"), often acting as a comedic character during shrine festivals and other festivities.

Below: A typical hyottoko mask.

We see Yago themself wear the hyottoko mask on their head, as well as wearing the same headscarf a typical hyottoko mask wears over their eyes.

The 5-7 Paulownia Shrine Crest

As a final note, the most common shrine crest for shrines where Mahitotsu is worshipped is the 5-7 paulownia crest (五七桐紋), named so for the number of flowers on each cluster.

A stylised version of this crest is found in Yago's spell card background as well, no doubt a reference to their irl sites of worship.

Below: One of the layers of Yago's spell card background, featuring the stylised crest (most prominent to the left of Yago's head), with the standard version of the crest in the bottom-left corner.

Youkai: Ippon-datara

Yago is also based on the youkai ippon-datara (一本踏鞴 lit. "one-legged bellows"), who is often times said to in fact be the corrupted form of Mahitotsu after he fell from grace.

Below: An ippon-datara talisman, the specialty of Mastumoto Studio (松本工房), said to protect travellers, especially on mountains.

While tales and descriptions related to the ippon-datara vary greatly from region to region, they all generally agree that it is a fearsome being with a single leg, on which an eye as large as a dish sits.

Varieties aside, it's agreed upon that the "datara" in the name refers to tatara-shi (タタラ師), a type of blacksmith that works with Japan's historical tatara furnaces.

Based on this connection, the origins of the ippon-datara's two most consistent traits can be deduced:

It only has one eye as blacksmiths would've constantly kept one eye on the furnace, leading to its deterioration.

It only has one leg, as the other would've gone bad from working the bellows for so long.

This, by the way, would also be the same reason Mahitotsu is the "one-eyed" god of blacksmithing.

These are referenced in Yago's design as well, their left eye covered by a piece of headscarf and left foot modified to accommodate for how it had "gone bad from an occupational disease".

Shinto Deity: Kanayago-no-Kami

Finally, we come to their last basis, the Shinto goddess Kanayago-no-Kami (金屋子神 lit. "child-god of the metal house").

Right off the bat, we already note the inclusion of "yago" in her name, which is already interesting, but there is of course more~.

Below: A hanging scroll depicting Kanayago.

Kanayago is not the most consistent deity, at least in terms of her character details. She is most often said to be female, but is also occasionally cited as male.

She is sometimes said to be the same as Kanayamahiko-no-Kami (金山彦), or Kanayamahime-no-Kami (金山媛), or even Mahitotsu, all gods of mines and metalworking. Yet is other times simply a god that somehow relates to them, without explicitly being them.

What is consistent about her, is that she is a blacksmith, and is specifically a goddess of tatara furnaces, blacksmithing, fire and iron-making. These of course line up with Yago's domain quite well.

Kanayago is perhaps not as notable compared to Mahitotsu or the Ippon-datara, though I'm fairly sure that a connection exists regardless, if only a faint one.

Who knows? Maybe one day this connection will get expanded upon, and I'll get to tell you more about this goddess. (She's a very fascinating figure indeed, but that falls outside of our scope today.)

Sword: Sugari no Ontachi

Yago's goal in life is to one day make a weapon that's a perfect match for themself, but despite being a master at doing this for others, he simply cannot do so for himself.

Until that day finally comes, he instead uses the "Crested Ibis Sword", Sugari no Ontachi (須賀利御太刀).

Curiously, Yago's Sugari no Ontachi is said to be "the counterpart of another sword from the outside [world], and has lost its original owner and purpose".

We, of course, know nothing about its original owner or purpose, though the first part about it being a "counterpart of a sword from the outside" is indeed notable.

Counterpart Candidate #1: The Sugari no Ontachi

One candidate for this counterpart, is indeed, the Sugari no Ontachi itself.

Below: The real Sugari no Ontachi

That's right, the Sugari no Ontachi is not an original invention by JynX, but actually exists in reality.

The sword is one of the sacred treasures of the Ise Grand Shrine's Inner Shrine, in fact one of the most extravagant and important treasure of the shrine.

JynX titles it the "Crested Ibis Sword" (朱鷺剣) in Yago's spell Crested Ibis Sword "Sugari no Ontachi" because the sword is famous for having two crested ibis feathers decorating its hilt.

Below: A close up of the sword's hilt, showing off the pinkish red feathers of the crested ibis tied to it.

Despite the sword's sacred status, the ones you see in the above image is not actually the original sword.

You see the shrine has a tradition of being taken down and rebuilt every 20 years on an adjacent piece of land under the same exact specifications, based on the idea that new objects have greater divine power.

The Sugari no Ontachi is part of this tradition, ritualistically reforged every 20 years to retain its divine might. This would of course mean that the sword we have now is not the original, perhaps the original lies with Yago still?

Notably, the sword contains elements of its design that are anachronistic to when it should've first been forged, indicating that it must've received a redesign during one of these reforgings.

I do not know whether this should just be attributed to JynX not bothering to or not being able to copy the sword's design 1-to-1, but the sword in Yago's hand indeed features a slightly different design to the Sugari no Ontachi of our world, perhaps another point to Yago's being the original.

Counterpart Candidate #2: The Tamamaki no Ontachi

This is the other candidate for an outside world counterpart to Yago's Sugari no Ontachi, the Tamamaki no Ontachi (玉纏御太刀).

Below: The Tamamaki no Ontachi.

As you can see, the two swords are extremely similar in appearance, and are thus often considered a pair. In fact, the Tamamaki no Ontachi is also a sacred treasure of the Ise Grand Shrine's Inner Shrine and is similarly reforged every 20 years.

There's not much more tying the two swords together, but it doesn't take much investigation to see why this could be the counterpart to Yago's sword.

Yago as a God

Finally, I want to devote a small section to Yago's status as a god, as they're one of the few windows into what godhood is like in Mugenri (alongside Souko, of course).

Powers After Becoming a God

We know that Yago (and Souko too) didn't start off as gods, but instead as a "human-like" being (which I theorise to be the race that split into humans and non-humans in the future, like Hoojiro mentions).

Instead, they became gods after their contributions in certain fields got acknowledged, by a group of yet-unknown people, and they got promoted to godhood.

Alongside this, they gained incredible longevity, but is this the only power they gained as a god?

Curiously, Yago seems keenly aware of Suzumi messing with time during the evens of BPoHC, and is even able to hear the voice of Ardey, and deduce that there are two souls inside Suzumi.

It is curious that they are seemingly unable to detect the presence of Benny, perhaps it is simply because they didn't speak during that conversation, or perhaps there is something more here.

Whether this is something inherent to Yago or something that they learnt after becoming a god (personally I lean towards the later), it is still a very interesting tidbit.

Godly Spell Card Backgrounds

Now for a much more lighthearted one, Yago actually shares part of their spell card background with Souko, likely symbolising their equal status as gods.

Below: Yago's spell background (left) with Souko's overlaid on top (right).

Clouds shaped like these have long been a popular motif for wood carvings decorating Japanese Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples, and so it's not surprise at all that Yago and Souko, gods themselves, would reference this pattern as well.

Below: A carving of a dragon surrounded by such clouds at the Suga Shrine (須賀神社), Yabu city, Hyōgo prefecture.

Ending

And that, I believe, concludes my revisit to Yago Ametsukana, my favourite Len'en character of them all.

I decided to really lean on the mythology side of things with this analysis, since it's what made me fall in love with Yago in the first place. Though I really enjoy them as a character too! Perhaps I'll write about that some other day~.

In any case, and as usual, I hope you enjoyed~! :)

#len'en #len'en project #len'en lore #yago ametsukana #honestly so glad to have done this #I feel like I really eclipse the original with this one #still gonna keep that one around though #it is my first analysis after all #and no reason to get rid of it when it's not wrong or anything

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creatureheart · 8 months

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Welcome!

To a simple blog for me to explore things about myself and my nonhuman identity, and to simply reblog relevant posts and things that I like.

You can call me Pandora. New nicknames are welcome. They/It

[[ Carrd ]] Other Sites — content will be similar [[ CoHost | TikTok | Bluesky | Pillowfort | Dreamwidth ]] [[ Main Blog ]] [[ Tags ]] — my tags for ease of access and mobile users.

Replies, comments and asks/submissions are always welcome.

BYF below — please read because the only one to blame if you see something you don't like is yourself.

BYF — if you don't like, just block/move on

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I am an Adult(Dec '93). If you are not ok with this, and I follow you, please soft block, or block me to keep yourself comfortable.

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I am Queer/Asexual and Indigenous(Australian).

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Most of this blog will be SFW, but there still might be possible adult content on this blog, which will be tagged. Keep this in mind if you are a minor or do not wish to see such!

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I try to tag everything that I reblog with general, wide tags when they are useful. Use the content filter options and/or xkit to stop from seeing what you don't want to see. I do not tolerate hateful comments towards anything "creepy crawlie"(bug, insect, snake, rats, etc) and will block on sight. I understand phobias and squicks, but they are animals that are just as worthy or respect as anything else is. This goes DOUBLE for anyone that makes comments on people's pets.

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I'm not here for drama and discourse, don't drag me into it or tell me about it.

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I use the word Queer. If you do not believe in reclaiming slurs or you tag things as "q slur" just block me. I am also kink positive, pro-sex education, pro-sex worker, etc. TERFS, SWERFS, Radfems, Gender-Criticals, Truscum/Transmed, Anti-Mogai, Exclusionists, Aphobes(Ace+Aro-phobic), LGBwithouttheTQ, etc are not welcome.

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I am of the old internet mindset of "if you don't like it, don't look" and "don't go looking for things you know you don't like/you know will upset you." I don't really have a set DNI (though some of the things I will never tolerate are mentioned in here) — I block, unfollow and filter liberally, because it is not on other people to cater my online space for me. If I see something I don't like, I remove it from my sight and move on. I take ZERO responsibility for other's online experience as this is my blog. If you see anything you don't like that I post or reblog, just unfollow and/or block. People just looking for an argument or who are rude will be blocked and possibly reported. Comments will be deleted. Neil Gaiman's Essay: Why defend freedom of icky speech? Video: "On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People"

I'm old and tired, and kids these days would probably label me a "proshipper" as I believe there is way more nuance to this entire thing than simply the black and white mindset that the internet & fandom communities have shifted to over time. I do not condone any taboo or problematic content IRL. But it is not my place, or my right to tell others what they can and cannot do in fiction/fantasy. It's unrealistic to believe that anything created that holds taboo or problematic content means the one who created it condones it IRL. This falls along the same kind of mindset mostly conservative parents spat that "violent video games make people violent", which we all know is not true. Censoring problematic content will not stop people from creating it. They will just create it where you cannot see it, which in turn could make it harder to find, and harder to stop when actual harm is dealt. Can fictional/fantasy content affect reality? Sure! I will never say otherwise. But to believe that it always does is, again, unrealistic, and assuming that most people cannot differentiate between the two. Fiction and fantasy were created for people to be able to entertain ourselves, and to explore topics that we never would, or were impossible, in the real world in the safety of our minds and spaces we created. The actions of those who use fictional content as a reason to do taboo and problematic things in real life is entirely on them, and they need to seek professional help for their paraphilias, or harmful actions. If something... - happens between two(or more) consenting ADULTS - makes someone happy - does not harm themselves or anyone/anything IRL ...then what other people do is none of my business.

Dividers by benkeibear

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i-spaced-sorry · 1 year

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May challenge day 5! This idea came about from me asking my irl friend what I should write about and them saying “write about your favorite place!” I decided to make it Halstead Sister and decided to include the Science Museum (since I just visited and it would be a small child’s favorite place....at least it was when I was that age) Enjoy :)

Title: It Happens to Everyone

You were so excited! Not only were you spending the day at the best place on Earth aka the Museum of Science and Industry (according to your 3 year old self) but you got to spend 4 uninterrupted hours with your brother Jay!

“Jay Jay! Aren’t you so excited!” you squealed from your booster seat while you pulled into the parking lot of the Museum.

“I am! What are you looking forward to seeing?” your brother asked as he parked the car. He honestly couldn’t believe Voight, let alone Platt, allowed him to take a random Thursday off to take you to one of the Free days the museum was putting on.

“I think…I think….I think everything” you spilled out super fast!

Once entering the Museum, you took off immediately, then remembered you should wait for Jay, so you stopped in your tracks and turned around to see your brother trailing behind.

“Y/N, I know you're excited but this is a crowded public place. You need to stay near me, so you don’t get lost” Jay said as he steered you to the first exhibit - Locomotives.

“I know, I forgot” you said glumly.

Chuckling to himself, Jay replied, “that’s okay, just be careful!”

You then spent the next 20 minutes running around the exhibit stopping to look at all the model trains running around the miniature town. Jay read some of the plaques to you, but you really weren’t paying attention.

“Woah” you exclaimed mesmerizingly while staring at the video feed on the wall. Jay laughed when he turned his head and saw you standing there with your mouth wide open watching the trains go around in circles, but from the perspective of what a train operator would be seeing.

“Come on short stack, we have got more exhibits to see” your brother encouraged 5 minutes later, when you still had your eyes glued to the screen.

The next exhibit you visited was the Science Storms. Jay took note immediately that there were several class field trips going on and he tried his hardest to keep track of you.

“Woah!” you exclaimed while watching a rope spin in circles while dangling from the ceiling.

Crouching down to your height, Jay asked, “isn’t that cool?”

All you could do was bob your head up and down.

That was when things took a turn. Jay’s phone rang - which wasn’t unusual since as a detective he always had to be on call, but he assumed nobody would call him on his day off. Standing up, he looked at the number and decided that he didn’t need to answer it pressingly.

“Shall we move on to the next exhibit?” Jay asked while pressing decline. When he heard no answer, he looked down at where you were previously standing. But you were gone.

“Y/N?” he called. “Y/N” he repeated! Looking around the room, he couldn’t catch a glimpse of you. “Y/N!” he screamed while running around.

“This isn’t funny, if you're hiding, you better come out!” he exclaimed while searching for you.

Realizing you were gone, Jay pulled his phone out and dialed a number he knew would pick up instantly.

“Platt. It’s Jay…Yea, uh listen, I can’t find Y/N” and that was all it took for the dam to break, he fell to the floor, body racked with heavy shaky breathing.

That was how Hailey and Platt found him 20 minutes later. The rest of the team were out chasing a lead on the current case, but since Hailey had her gun recertification scheduled that morning, she was at her desk doing desk duty. Platt came because she had a soft spot for the baby Halstead and wouldn’t admit it but also had a soft spot for Chuckles.

“Hey, you're okay! We have beat cops scouring the museum grounds and the surrounding area looking for her. She couldn’t have gone far” Hailey soothed while sitting next to her partner.

“I’m a bad guardian. She should have been put in the system.” was all Jay could respond. He had been thinking about it for a while. With his long unpredictable hours and dangerous job, he felt like he wasn’t being a good brother or guardian to his sister and today just confirmed it.

“Hey, don’t think like that! What happened can happen to anybody.” sternly stated Platt from where she was standing.

“What even happened?” asked Hailey cautiously.

Taking in a breath, Jay told her he looked away for less than a second.

“That happens to so many parents. Jay, think about the amount of cases you have worked where a victim’s family says those exact same words. You can’t blame yourself and you're not a bad guardian!” stated Platt while she crouched down and placed a hand on her subordinate’s knee.

Just then, Platt’s phone buzzed. She took her hand off Jay’s knee after squeezing it tight and checked her phone. She smiled and stated, “Jay”

Looking at her in confusion on just saying his name, Jay was about to respond when he heard

“Jay Jay!” and his sister round the corner with a beat cop on her tail

“Y/N!” Jay exclaimed while clambering to his feet! You rushed into your brother’s awaiting arms and he hugged you so tight! “Where were you? I was so worried!”Jay asked frantically. “Are you hurt?” he asked while beginning to check you over.

You shook your head and just hung onto him! Lifting you onto his hip, he turned to the beat cop and asked, “Where did you find her?”

“Turns out, one of the chaperones for one of the several field trips, thought she belonged to the group, so she told Y/N to follow the group to the bus.” replied the cop - named Officer Murfy.

“Luckily, when you called it in, all buses were grounded for the time being and we easily located her,” he added.

“Thank you!” was all Jay could reply

Hailey, Platt, Jay, and You finished looking at some of the exhibits but to be honest Jay wasn’t in a good frame of mind anymore - he was still paranoid about losing you and thinking he was a bad guardian. And from all the excitement the morning had brought on you were struggling to stay awake. So after a quick look at the You and Health exhibit and the Flying exhibit, you all said your goodbyes and headed back home and back to the district.

That evening, after bath time and story time, Jay talked to you, “I was so scared this morning! I’m so glad you're okay! I’m sorry if I sometimes aren’t as present as you would like, but I’m trying my best! I love you so much and don’t want anything bad to happen to you!”

You just stared at your brother, then you threw your arms around him and exclaimed, “I love you Jay Jay! You're the best brother ever!”

And that was all the confirmation Jay needed to hear.

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #halstead!sister #jay halstead x halstead!sister #jay halstead x sister reader #hailey upton #trudy platt #chicago pd x reader #one chicago x reader #halstead sister imagine #Month of May writing challenge

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daydadahlias · 8 months

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what’s your thought on minors reading your stories?

hm, that's a good question, and I think one that's far more nuanced/convoluted than people often give it credit for and than I often like to think about.

obviously, I'm more than happy for minors to read my G/T and even M rated fics but when we get into the explicit territory - which I assume is what you're asking about - it can get tricky.

i will say, before I get into this far too long and rambling answer, that as a blanket statement, I would prefer that minors did not engage with explicit material period, including my own. However, it would simply be negligent of me to act like there are not minors who actively consume my content.

For a while there, I had "minors dni" in my bio and I also had 18+ for some time but I eventually took both out because I know it doesn't really dissuade people from interacting; if kids/minors want to look at something, they will look at it. And if they can't find it in certain places, they will without a doubt look for it in others.

it's a sad fact about our current culture that by the age of 12, most children will have actively seen pornography - mostly due to pop up ads online and just the sheer volume of pornographic content that exists in our world. so I am under no disillusion that minors also actively seek it out. I mean, I started reading porn when I was 12. Do I think, realistically, that it was a good thing for my emotional development? Uhm, no I don't! I don't think kids should be reading porn; it vastly skews their perceptions of sex and can negatively impact their relationships with sexuality in their adulthood. That's just a proven fact. So if I had any real say in it, I would say that minors should not be reading/viewing porn period, definitely not before the age of 15. That includes my own.

But, all that to say, I understand that I am an adult posting pornography on a public platform; if minors want to stumble on it, they will. I also know that I have all the necessary warnings and content triggers in place should someone come across my work and, at a certain point, if they continue to view it despite it being marked for mature audiences, that is not On Me as a creator. I cannot control what people choose to view.

I will say that, in terms of sexual content, I know that I am always writing healthy and consensual sexual dynamics between my characters so of the porn that minors could be exposed to, mine is certainly not of the dangerous variety for a minor to be consuming.

Am I fully comfortable with the thought of minors reading my material? No. But I'm not going to make it a habit to police people's interaction with the internet and I'm also not going to go through every single one of my followers and search to see if they're a minor to block them if they are. That doesn't stop kids from seeking things out. Frankly, I think blocking minors would only make them seek out other dangerous sexual content. Sometimes I think that I'd rather minors read my explicit material rather than explicit material that is tagged incorrectly, y'know? I'd rather minors read about actual consensual sex than dub-con or rape disguised as such.

At the end of the day, all I want is for minors to recognize that what they read online is not an accurate articulation of what occurs in real life and do their necessary research to be safe when they actively choose to interact with sex irl. But far be it from me to tell them how they should and should not consume written material, y'know?

I have an obligation as a creator (as I think all creators do) to tag my material properly and trigger warn accordingly because I do know realistically that minors might come across it, but from there it's completely out of my hands on if minors choose to engage with it or not.

#hope i articulated myself well on this!!#it's something i think about fairly often bc i do have a couple 'frequent' followers who engage w/ my stuff that i know are minors #and while I as an adult have an obligation to not create close relationships with them or divulge in one on one contact #them consuming my content in a public sphere doesn't... Bother me #minors are 'allowed' to read my stuff if they want to #if the larger question is 'do i think they should' no... i would prefer they didnt #but i know i cant stop them from doing it yknow?#so that's just kind of... how the cookie crumbles #curious why you asked this i dont think ive ever been asked and ive been writing for 3 years now in this fandom #crazy to think about #yeah if ur a minor just make sure u stay safe ok? :)#and i really am here for kids if they need anything. like i really am #i just want kids to be safe first and foremost #pigeon #anon

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