#I actually did this one last night
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one thing u can count on me for is being normal about Some Guy
process under cut where u can see me losing my mind trying 2 figure out what i was doing in real time! :3
#mine#cats#original#i started colouring this last night and could NOT . get my brain to work#i like knew the vibes but i couldnt translate that into an actual physical colour palette AOAUGH#but i did kind of pop off w this one ngl. anyway#ive been listening to you cant do that podcast very good very funny hockey girls !!#i do need to listen to a boring white man podcast though so i can get . information . and not just who has been the most cunty nhl player#what else happened today. my tamagotchi evolved ! i love them so much#and i completed sm more crochet blanket! maybe i should post pictures of that bc its going to take years off my life i might as well get#sm clout for it
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Happy Campus Apocalypse volume 1 16th anniversary here's something to celebrate
#shinji ikari#kaworu nagisa#asuka langley soryu#rei ayanami#kawoshin#asurei#neon genesis evangelion#campus apocalypse#nge#nge ca#toma edits#toma draws#<-KINDA? i edited them in on the first one but i spent more time on it than i needed to so im counting it#why did tumblr post the version from before i updated the tags and description. im losing my mind#ANYWAY full disclosure i only found out abt the anniversary earlier today via angelduets/the kawoshin bot on twitter#BUT i finished this set last night so!! excellent timing#i made the last one weeks ago and never got around to posting it but i was making memes for other purposes the other day#and did some ca themed ones while i was at it... now it can finally see the light of day#i actually also made a non ca version of the kawo&asu one a while back (did i even post that here i forget)#but they're actually friends in canon here so it fits More i think#there's another asurei one i wanted to make but i gotta fully draw that one so! it'll have to wait
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knights in pajama armor
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24ck#home2t4ck#dave strider#karkat vantas#sollux captor#davekat#admin draws#fanart#and last of my cache. which i forgot to share yesterday bur WHATEVAR#labs almost over let me live.#actually i could post more pencil doodles later i did those in class today. lol#but for now this is the last of the digital stuff more or less#i was gonna fix up and do that last one proper but ion wanna. its doneeee#i am so. sleepy. and i did that first one at like 2 am months ago and it still is probably one of my best karkats so far#ms paint beloved for late night bullshittery#edit FUCK me i forgot to include this old doodle. beescakes solkats bewitched me ok i had to draw them
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i have art block but i also don't have art block you feel me
#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic prime#i started like ... doodling ... and then i just ... kept going#but like only doodling i don't rlly . i want to make something but i don't have anything else lol#fun fact this is the first time i've made one of these sketch comp things almost entirely on digital#every other one ive ever posted was like actual pictures from my sketchbook collaged together#but this one only two of them are from my book a while ago and the rest i literally did uhhhh (queueing this) last night#i was onto ... something . idk what. lol. i temporarily forgot how to draw sonic so that's why i ended up with that really big aaa sonic#idk Idk ! art is weird. brain weird. executive dysfunctioning#my art
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it is healing to come onto this blog and see basic respect for diasbility after being in other corners of the fandom and reading the words “snowkit could never be a warrior because he wouldnt know what anything is. he wouldnt even know what a clan is because nobody could explain it to him” said in full seriousness
Im..... That statement is so ableist I cannot even imagine the worldview you'd need to have in order to come up with that.
They really think the only way anyone learns anything is through verbal-speaking-words-noises? No one has ever observed something before? Not even once?
This is beyond touching grass, this person just fell out of the fucking Jurassic Period when all they had was ferns and stegosaurs.
I just...
OH YES. I remember my first day of Society Lessons as a hearing person, where the everything was explained to me. Via Audiobook. FIRST they spoke and said, "you are standing on the ground." It was a life changing revelation, and the world began to spin.
But it did not stop.
THEN they said, "there are fingers on your hands." The sensation of flesh and bone crackling into existence is indescribable, but I did not yet know pain, until they told me, "that hurts." I began screaming immediately.
And yet... it continued.
They explained so much. Chairs. Tables. Walls. The sky. Frogs. Ionizing radiation. Breathing. I was told all of it, in one sitting, and only then did I understand. Only when my ears were bursting with normal hearing knowledges, did they begin... my final test.
A strange wall-chair-finger emerged from the sky-of-the-wall, stood on the ground several times, until it was in front of me. A second one came behind it, this one slimmer. The audiobook gave these things names;
Human. Father. Mother. Door. Walking. It was completely impossible to know what these things were until that very moment.
I watch a human dip a hook into water and produce a fish, and I recall my Society Lessons where they called that "fishing." I am decked in the face by a nefarious hooligan, and I have only the audiobook to thank when I know I have been "punched" by a "bad guy." It was only the magic of verbal-speaking-words-noise that made me understand that there are "other people" and that they "do stuff."
Sometimes, even, in "groups."
Before the Society Lessons Audiobook, I knew nothing. I was pure, innocent, uncorrupted by concepts such as "parents" and "door." I am grateful every day that there is no such concept as "being shown things" or "simple logical reasoning" or "looking."
Blessed be those amongst us who escape the horrors of the Society Lessons Audiobook. I pray that you never learn what anything is. Be free! Free as a bird, which also knows nothing and famously cannot learn. 🤗
DEAF/HOH FOLLOWERS I'm losing my mind do you want me to bump a 'Hearing Disabilities Herb Guide' to the top of my priorities? Something you can use to bludgeon whackadoodles like that. This is ridiculous
Obviously not a MEDICINE guide but like; common causes of hearing disability in clan cats. Accommodations for hearing loss vs congenital deafness. Actual difficulties of not having that sense Clan-by-Clan. Debunking of misconceptions like... not being able to learn APPARENTLY.
#bone babble#Fennelposting#Obviously the answer is 'theyre incapable of THINKING' but like... they do know snow has a line right#In the book. He figured out. A word. Through observation.#He says 's'all right' because he knows it calms ppl down#He did not need to hear the magic words 'You can make noises at others to influence them'#Like a fucking tutorial tip#Im going to start keeping a JOURNAL of ''times people have been weird about snowkit specifically''#Ableism#cw ableism#I could also link to the pawspeak thing so it's all in one place#I wrote this last night and put it in the queue and I laid awake thinking of this...#What do they think happens when someone goes to another country where things aren't written/spoken in a language they know?#Do they think they wouldn't be able to figure out anything? Do they think the tourist would just perish#Would they collapse in the streets of Berlin sobbing?#Happened to me. Went to England and they called it a Car Boot Sale instead of a Flea Market and I died to death#AND if I did make that guide please tell me if there's any other weird misconceptions you need to see in it#I know that ONE of them is going to have to be that. like. deaf people make noise.#theyre actually quite loud because they don't know they're making noise#and people with hearing loss do not suddenly forget how to speak.#and people born deaf dont talk like cavemen#cw body horror#tw body horror#EDIT: OOPS sorry I have such an astonishingly tolerance for body horror I did not realize that counted as body horror
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The L Word | S2E01
#the l word#shane mccutcheon#kate moennig#in a horrible mood but i still had the episode open from last night and laughed so hard at this awful outfit i almost briefly forgot#i actually love it in concept i just dont know what they were thinking with the random sidepieces for her hair which i think throw the whol#thing into this weird sort of disarray#but i love the short blazer sleeves ovr the shirt a lot also how weirdly unironed the shirt kind of appears#also the low jeans with the belt..? not crazy about the decor on the blazer tho#but i love the glasses forevr#but again i feel like her hair is so weirdly fried in this or maybe cked with hairspray#anyway im fine sorta#actually really funny to post this also after the last one bc she looked so good in that and so BAD here#soryr this outfit deserved its own complete commentary in tags but lookbook coming eventually#also im pretty sure her hair is like tied back in some sor tof way which also looks horrific#who did this literally whos idea was this#also sorry it was roiginally 4 but looking at them together i think it only needs 2
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(Keeps getting put into situations while overstimulated)
Inspired by this meme
#mine#i draw things#art#actually audhd#audhd#sensory overload#reaction images#overstimulated#i hereby grant thee permission to save these into your personal meme folders#who the fuck brings a GUEST into the house at 9:30pm on a Tuesday night to perform the Most ritual of all time for the next 2 hours#ALL the lights and fans and cupboards and doors and drawers and windows were open and on the WHOLE TIME#I COULDN’T GET TO MY ROOM WHERE THEY HEADPHONES AND SUNNIES WERE#AND EVEN IF I COULD#I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO CLOSE AND TURN OFF ANYTHING FOR PRIVACY AND REPRIEVE#BC OF THE RITUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE RITUAL THAT NO ONE TOLD ME WAS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!!!! AT 9:30PM ON A TUESDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!#AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!#i Did Not Sleep until 3am last night#it was Complete And Utter Hell#(it was a religious ritual btw)#(unrelated to xmas)
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Hot Ones: Strike Force Edition
Kimmel: *passive aggressive harmonica noises*
John: *contemplating every choice he's ever made*
Seth: *ascending*
#I love hot ones#i want stephen to do an ACTUAL episode of it not like the 30 second bit he did on his show#Stephen get your ass in the studio rn the others have all done it it's your turn sir#stephen colbert#john oliver#jimmy kimmel#seth meyers#strike force five#hot ones#last week tonight#jimmy kimmel live#late night with seth meyers#the late show#the late show with stephen colbert#the colbert report#screenshots#sean evans
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Conrad Veidt as Captain Hardt in The Spy In Black [Powell & Pressburger, 1939]
#conrad veidt#powell and pressburger#BUTTER#adventures in cinemagoing#so I got to see this on the big screen last night for the first time#thanks to the bfi sending their P&P stuff round the country#not watched it for AGES and had forgotten loads#my pals who came with enjoyed very much which was pleasing#I have never fancied connie but I do love him#and the swagging through the doors entrance is extremELY COOL#also had forgot what boyfriends he and marius are#very interesting to note that in the more histrionic moments he reminds me of anton when he's being histrionic#also him creeping around the boat at the end is just one great audition for a british made dracula with connie as the count#I mean why did that not happen#my wee gifs#look at me actually making gifsets
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this is gonna change lives (again!!!!)
#let me tell you about the leaks that night… first of all I was asleep#dfhkhdsgj when I woke up I looked at the summary and my eyes IMMEDIATELY jumped to Bakugo’s name#IT HAD BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE HAD SEEN HIM LIKE 15-ISH WEEKS????#(it was also the last time the og Atsu ever did leaks)#people were freaking out about ‘hokan’ meaning ‘complete’#’the only person who can complete Midoriya Izuku is…’ THEN BAKUGO SHOWING UP LIKE AN ANGEL OUT OF THE SKY#antis and dudebros tried to downplay Bakugo being the one to find Deku by saying it was actually Toga because of the shape of his pupils 😭😭#bkdk was reuinited and all was right in the world and we’re gonna experience it again soon !! 🥲#in the anime AND manga 🥺#bkdk#dkbk#bakudeku#dekubaku#:’)
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i have a ~dream question~
#this has been an original post#my pollies#polls#dreams#driving#i realized today that while im obvs not the driver in my dreams im also not specifically on public transit most of the time#im just. a passenger#no concept of other passengers or a driver or even what kind of vehicle it is#my dream logic is very much ''if its not relevant to the situation who cares''#also ''why generate actual human beings when you can just have the vague sense that a place is populated''#idk why im thinking abt this this morning specifically since last nights dreams didnt even involve being in a vehicle#not the ones i remember anyway#i was just thinking abt patterns in my dreams in general#cause my brain does this weird thing where in all my anxiety dreams im living in the apt i lived in through elementary + part of high school#like yes its the place ive spent the most time in but also. i havent lived there in TWELVE YEARS#and i mean i did hate that place but its not like ALL my trauma was experienced there#its just weird#dreams are weird#clouds dreams
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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#lost#abc lost#lost abc#lost tv#lost tv show#lost show#ana lucia cortez#goodwin stanhope#wkp*#watched 2x07 last night which means we’ve unlocked a new text post meme from 2021 that i never posted#i had to remake this one because the quality had gotten fucked up somewhere along the way#i literally originally made this a week after that text post was made#so if someone else has made this meme by now. actually. i did it first.
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listening to blood in the bayou was like oscillating rapidly between an intense fever dream and the worst nightmare you’ve had in your life while simultaneously having one of the best soundtracks you’ve ever heard
#dandy talks#blood in the bayou#jrwi bitb#it was definitely an experience staying up all night until noon trying to finish the last three episodes in one day#i almost succeeded too#i got to around noon and still had forty minutes left of the last episode and i still had the just rolled with it for bitb#so i just took a nap and listened to the rest a couple hours later#i did get jumpscared by the actual cicadas outside my house at around 8am tho in my sleep deprived haze
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helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3
some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it
#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While#you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive!#but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot#and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book#i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive#im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings#by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it!#life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that#its so nice to drive and actually see things#beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography...#instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather.#i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive#absolutely unprompted#i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts!#and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect!#now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage#ive Earned It!#you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing!#you're here today! Yippee! indulge!#im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works!#my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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