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#I SAID IT ALREADY SO I’LL SAY IT AGAIN
downstairsbar · 6 days
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also sam is way more nuanced about lestat than ppl give him credit for on here 😭 like of course someone else writing about you is always going to engender an element of interpretation and we all read what we wanna read when it’s so disconnected from the person saying it but he’s not some mindless lestat apologist he’s actually very thoughtful and saying relevant things and thinking about this on a level that once you get there you’re like fuck. that’s literally so true and it’s so obvious that you’re kinda like blindsided not to have realized this already. he’s not like downplaying louis’ story or acting like louis is lying, him and jacob are actually quite similar in thinking on this i think? i just think jacob is more articulate 😭 anyway all this to say he doesn’t talk over Jacob lol theyre having a conversation. like they’re pushing e/o to think more deeply about it even though they end up with the same answer basically. in MY opinion. they’re literally just having a conversation
#It took Sam like 10 minutes to finish buffering god bless him#The conspiracies were already annoying and being pulled from thin air but now I have primary evidence mashallah#sorry I’ll stop posting but Assad is so so so so so cute like why is he an oomf I feel like we went to twitter together#Also the meme that’s like pizza so good when you don’t got a bitch in your ear saying it ain’t it’skinda me about Daniel and Armand but#In the sense that when I go only to the source and forget there are stupid ppl online I’m like okay slay queen 💅🏾 at Daniel#Delainey embodies Claudia on a level that we’ve so far only seen Jacob do with Louis#Like there are just no words#Eric was being fudanshi again re jam like Eric is so messy I fear and Jacob is so giggly and Sam is so. Well#Well Sam is a top#Also Jacob still biggest loustathead you love to see it#Ummmmm what else. Both delainey and Assad said Jacob is the one that made them feel comfortable first#He’s suuuuuuch a mom friend omg#Everyone is so obsessed with him it’s like he’s the sun and they’re all orbiting towards him#Jacob dresses like a bisexual millennial#Sam looks much better irl than on photo like it was kinda crazy to me. And his voice is way deeper than you expect#His voice sounds like a fujoshi wrote him as the seme in really really problematic yaoi where he’s a ceo and ummm plead the fifth#but such warm vibes like I told Emily the only m white man that doesn’t scare me is my psychiatrist and Sam gives the same aura#Like it’s crazy how unthreatening he feels considering that you’d expect him to be if I tried describing him abstractly#FVGGGGHVHH IM LIKE. I CAN’T SHUT UP!!!!!!#and this isn’t even getting into the freaking episode#television is so fucking back#like this is why tv was created this is why this is the correct mode through which to tell this story#Like fundamentally this is a television series. And this is what they mean when they say something is a television series#It’s going to get its flowers eventually the way breaking bad did bc the art just speaks for itself like it’s undeniable#They are really doing something special and brave and ground breaking with this#Like you know when you hear a perfect pop song and you’re like this is what the genre means but also for it to be#A perfect pop song it can’t sound like every other pop song? Like it has to have its own solid foundation that makes it distinct#this is like listening to emotion the album by crj for the first time#But even better#This is like if you knew call me maybe was a perfect song and then you go listen and realize that she has 30 more of the perfect pop song
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yourdeepestfathoms · 1 year
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Oxenfree Headcanons but they’re just about Alex being freed from the loop by Riley
Being brought back to reality is incredibly jarring after spending five years in the loop.
First of all.
Panic attack.
This is not a part of the script. This has NEVER been a part of the script. She’s given up on getting free a long time ago, but now she suddenly IS FREE, and it doesn’t make sense.
Cue Riley having to quickly calm her down.
Second of all.
MAJOR sensory overload.
She’s so used to the loop, reacting to the exact same stimulus, that so much other sensory input is extremely overwhelming. Her senses have basically heightened, and now everything is too much, too much, too much.
The sun is too bright. It feels like her corneas are being melted off or her eyeballs are being carved out with hot iron tools. Colors are so vivid and vibrant, and it gives her a headache.
Every single sound grates on her ears. The splashing of the water, the chatter of other people, the blare of the ferry’s horn. Even Riley’s voice, soft and gentle, is enough to make her ears bleed.
The smells. Saltwater, gasoline, wet grass, smoke from a burnt out campfire, baked goods from a storefront, even her own unwashed body. It stings her nose and makes her nauseous.
And the sensations.
Oh god, the sensations.
Every single touch is mind-shattering agony.
Her skin is so unused to feeling anything beyond what’s scripted in the loop that everything is foreign, terrifying, and painful.
Riley supporting her weak body is like being stabbed right in the arms.
It’s so bad that even her hair brushing against the nape of her neck is like dragging a serrated saw blade across an exposed bundle of nerves.
She feels so raw.
But that’s not the only thing she feels.
She can feel everything going on inside, too.
Her biological processes completely stopped while in the loop, and after awhile, most of her organs stopped functioning, too. The Sunken would keep her alive, after all, so there was no need to expend energy on things that didn’t need to work.
But now that she’s out of the loop, her entire organ system is rudely awakened like they’ve just been shocked by jumper cables.
And she can feel all of it.
In her stomach, her small intestines writhe like eels.
In her chest, she can feel her lungs expand and deflate.
When she speaks, her vocal cords rub together like the slimy legs of a cricket.
She’s acutely (and uncomfortably) aware of every vein transporting blood through her body, every twitch of her diaphragm, every beat of her heart.
Her fingernails connected to her nail beds, her hair sprouting from her scalp, her teeth growing in her gums—she feels it!
And, for a moment, she considers asking Riley to throw her back into the loop like she’s a fish being returned to a lake.
Sure, the loop was a fate worse than death, but at least she doesn’t feel like this.
But she endures. She has to.
She just wishes her body would make it a little easier.
So, she’s freed, and everything hurts!
But despite this, she still can’t bring herself to pry away from Riley, who she’s been clinging to ever since she got free like the woman is her lifeline.
And, to her, Riley very well may be one.
Alex is so afraid that if she lets go for even a second, her connection to the real world will snap, and she’ll be right back in hell.
But they can’t stay like that forever, and when Riley eventually coaxes her to let go, nothing happens. She’s still solid. She’s still stable.
Walking is kinda hard. I feel like gravity in the loop and gravity in the real world, as well as gravity in the void, which she definitely spent time in, is very different from each other.
It certainly doesn’t help that when she stands, she can feel the aching drag of her tendons in her legs and the discomforting creak of her knees trying to support her.
For lack of better words, she looks like a baby horse trying to walk for the first time.
Maybe if she wasn’t in such a deep daze, she would have cared more about how silly she looks.
Because, oh yeah! She is still heavily in shock. What happened, being set free, hasn’t really caught up to her just yet. She’s only dimly aware of what’s happening to her.
But the pain? The pain she’s fully aware of.
She doesn’t get mercy from that.
Because when is the world ever that kind to her?
Anyway.
The early morning this is hypothetically set in is pretty cool, but Alex is shivering like she’s naked in Antarctica.
Her body isn’t really used to regulating its own temperature.
So she’s just so cold.
Riley gives her her jacket to try and keep her warm. The last thing she or Jacob need is the poor kid keeling over from hypothermia.
Speaking of those two!
They have obtained a void child! What now?
Well…neither of them know.
When they went to the island, they were expecting spooky ghost shenanigans. They were expecting weird cult bitches. They were expecting the concept of time being majorly fucked up.
But a tortured child trapped in a time loop? They never could have predicted that.
It’s kind of like unexpectedly picking up a puppy that’s being sold on the side of the road, but no. It’s really not. Because at least caring for a puppy is common knowledge. Something you can get the supplies for with ease.
What the hell do you do for a teenager rescued from the void?
They decide that’s something they can mull over later. Right now, they need to get the hell out of dodge.
So, they decide to take Alex back to Riley’s house and go from there. What else is there to do?
Operation Disguise A Girl Who Went Missing Five Years Ago So She Won’t Be Recognized: COMMENCE!
Alex has Riley’s jacket on, so that’s one thing covered, and Jacob tucks all her hair up into a hat to hide that, too. And then she’s told to keep her head down and don’t talk to anyone.
She’s fine with that. She’s not really in a talking mood, truthfully.
Jacob probably has to carry her to the ferry because, like. Homegirl is having some trouble walking. Also still having a sensory overload. Also still in a lot of pain.
Alex has another panic attack while they’re going across the water on the ferry because she’s never made it to the other side. So she’s just waiting for the illusion to shatter, and for the void to press itself in again.
But that doesn’t happen.
That’s what makes her a little more lucid. Everything starts to feel a little less like a dream and a lot more real.
Riley keeps assuring her again and again that she’s safe, that she’s okay, that she won’t let anything happen to her, and that she definitely won’t let her go back to that horrible rift, and Alex is just so daunted because it’s been so long since anyone has treated her with kindness beyond the scripted lines spoken in the loop.
The moment she gets to the car, she passes out. Somewhat from the pain, mostly from fatigue.
It’s been FIVE YEARS since she’s had a nap. She is EXHAUSTED.
Riley and Jacob are pretty shot, too, but they shake it off for the sake of the girl. They can rest later, once this is all settled.
They go pick up breakfast and then have no idea what to get Alex. And they don’t really want to wake her up because she’s clearly tired.
“A sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich sounds good enough, right?” “What if she’s a vegan? Or a vegetarian?” “Shit, you’re right. Do you think she is?” “I don’t know! Should I wake her up?” “No! No. Let her rest. We’ll think of something.”
“No, Jacob, we’re not giving her coffee. I think coffee will stop her heart.”
They do eventually have to wake Alex up when they get back to Riley’s house.
Riley gives her a little tour.
Alex, although tired and dazed, gets the gist.
Now that she’s awake, they give her the food they bought, but she isn’t up to eating very much. Even though it’s been five years since she’s eaten anything (or drank anything, aside from a little alcohol in a few of the loops), and even though she should be hungry, the mere idea of food makes her even more nauseous than she already is.
But Riley convinces her to at least eat a little bit, just to have something in her stomach, and Alex complies.
She has to stop after just three bites, though, because the tastes are so strong they burn her mouth, and she almost throws up.
But at least she’s eaten something.
Riley then convinces her to take a shower while Jacob runs to the store to get her some clothes that he hopes will fit. After all, they can’t have her lying around in the frankly disgusting clothing she has on.
Even though she’s extremely exhausted, a shower does sound nice, so Alex agrees.
Maybe she can wash away all the trauma sticking to her skin like glue.
(Ha.)
(As if it would ever be that easy.)
Parting with her jacket is a bit difficult, but Riley swears up and down she’ll give it right back after it’s washed, which she does while Alex is in the shower.
In hindsight, perhaps letting the barely awake girl in a ton of pain take a shower unassisted wasn’t the best plan.
The hot water is like an assault on Alex’s sensitive skin.
It’s so excruciating that she literally goes blind for a few seconds.
Long story short, she blacks the fuck out, and Riley has to go do ANOTHER rescue mission to help her.
After that whole ordeal, Alex is dressed in the clothes that Jacob bought (he had to guess on her size, but it was good enough), got her newly washed jacket back, and then promptly conked out again, this time in an actual bed.
Meanwhile, Riley and Jacob slump into the couch and reflect on what the fuck they’ve gotten themselves into.
Here’s some fun appearance things as a bonus!!
A majority of Alex’s hair is chopped off because it kept bothering her (see the part where her skin is so sensitive that even her ponytail brushing her neck hurts). And they need to try to make her look not like herself.
They don’t go to a hair salon, as they’re afraid she may get recognized, so Jacob very confidently takes scissors to Alex’s hair while Riley supervises anxiously.
The result is…very messy. Even when Jacob was looking at a WikiHow article on how to cut hair (with pictures!). There are uneven parts and it kinda sticks out weirdly, but Alex doesn’t really seem to mind.
They also have to re-dye her hair. Alex doesn’t care what color, so Riley and Jacob argue over what’ll look the best. Alex gets a little kick out of it.
They settle on green.
Okay, so y’all know the whole glowing red eyes thing? Well, consider: Alex’s eyes are permanently red. Like, the irises. It’s like they’ve been branded by the possession she once went through.
Also consider: Alex, covered in scars from injuries in past loops.
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heavyedit · 3 days
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restarting my vinyl collection tag just so i can post this bc it’s just too cool
dethalbum IV on black + green marble
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roman-roy-apologist · 20 days
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i love you animal symbolism
#like obviously i’m the dog motif guy but literally any animal symbolism is sooooo#like mq animal symbolism >>>#sharks and mice and wolves and butterflies#what that says about you — not just what you get but what you wanted to get#i’m a shark and i’m going to take you down. he smells blood in the water he’s gonna kill my pig and there’s nothing i can do#because i’m soft i’m a kid again im a mouse and im loyal and humble and a real team player! and that’s what will be my downfall#but it’s also what’s going to save me#why would a mouse choose foam over a delicious cookie? i don’t know. why would he? why would i?#i just got a little upset when you said i wasn’t a lion. you’re nothing without me#lions hunt in packs they’re sthe leaders. but i’m telling you that you dont get a pack you dont get someone to lean on and you will always#be alone.#then succession animal symbolism is like: youre a scorpion and i’m a snake and we are going to die at each others hands#it’s already written. we know the ending#im a dog and i’m mean and sharp and vicious#i’m a dog and i’m loyal and trusting#i’m a dog and i need to be kicked and i beg you to kick me because it’s all i know#you come for me with love?#lock me in a cage and feed me dog food (or chocolate cake but who knows) and i’ll never eat again#send me away until everyone knows their place#beat me with a slipper in gstaad for ordering lobster because it’s rude to order the most expensive thing on the menu when you’re not payin#because dogs don’t get a sliver platter they get a bowl of dog food in a cold wire cage#they get the scraps and they thank you for it#so you come for me with love?#you come in here guns ablazing to find they’ve turned to fucking sausages and you come for me with love?#jeez that’s a lot of tags#mythic quest#mq#succession#succession hbo
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sylvies-kablooie · 7 months
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okay i wasn’t gonna do it. but i am. can you put ur ultimate sylki songs in the tags. tysm.
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sketchncanto · 2 years
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🌟 Encanto Friendship Page!🌟
Ahhhhh congrats @acewithapaintbrush on reaching your milestone!! And thank you for coming up with this super cute idea!! I’ve loved looking through everyone’s pages so far!
If you wanna make one, here’s the original post with all of the templates! ✨ Here’s mine! Thank you for the tag @mmollymercury! 💕
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OKAY so I would tag people BUT I feel like basically everyone that I would tag has been tagged already so— anyone who sees this, do itttttt! It was funnn ✨
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rosicheeks · 1 hour
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truth be told I'm hesitant to message you because I don't want to run the risk of hurting you again - F
Broskiiiiiii why did you use my real naaaaaaaame
#that’s the only thing that’s driving me crazy tbh#unless my memory is fucked I think only 4 people know my real name on here#and like I said I seriously doubt the the F person I’m thinking about would check in on me#I’m trying to think if I accidentally said my name to anyone else now lol#I think the thing I’m nervous about when someone from my past reaches out#I know I’m going to ask them about themselves cause that’s just me#and I swear if they start to tell me about how perfect and good their life is#how they got married and have a kid now#or how they are in a long loving relationship#I will go fucking insane I swear to you#idk if I already said this but someone else from my past reached out lately#we will call him B and I had a crush on B back in my high school church days#so AGES ago#and it’s driving me crazy cause I wanna know why they randomly texted me#but I also know they got married awhile ago and I’m sure they have a kid#and I really don’t want to fucking hear that so I’ve just ignored his texts lol#don’t get me wrong I’m so happy for anyone who has their life together and is happy and loved#but I’m not right now….. pretty much the opposite lol#last time I hung out with some friends from high school they kept telling me about how well everyone that we knew is doing now#and boy oh BOY I spiraled#so I don’t want that#if you genuinely just want to be my friend? I’m looking for more so who knows reach out#I’m a cry baby and I get hurt pretty easily#so unless you really REALLY fucked up I doubt I don’t want to talk to you#not saying I’ll for sure reply cause I’ve been awful at replying lately#but like I said before the only person on here that I truly don’t want to talk to again I’m pretty sure I have blocked#anywayyy I just woke up and I’m going to try and get out of bed#also I thought my selfie wasn’t rebloggable so when I woke up I had a little panic attack and deleted it lmao#hope you and everyone else reading this is having a lovely day/night 🥰🩷#ask
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booksandpaperss · 1 year
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since ao3 is down I am once again popping in to say that while there’s also actual evidence that Mike is (at least mostly) aware of his feelings for Will, the biggest reason for me is that it would simply be a way better writing choice considering the way things have been structured thus far than him not knowing 🤷🏻‍♀️
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trashbaget · 2 months
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tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”
#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with#but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this#i can’t just. talk to the guy#if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that#i can barely even say hello to him#don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like#ah fuck there he is#okay you can do it just say hi#just say what’s up#and then he’s already gone#also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin#ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍#but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction#or like. an actual conversation.#which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or#i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what)#anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴#i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at#least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.)#anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault#too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair#but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side#where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20#mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡#but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number#who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21#his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦#cheers to being fools universe
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i bring you the gift of a picture of my giant chaos demon of a dog - his name is thomas
don’t be fooled my his adorable little face, he is absolutely ridiculously insane and loves to steal every single piece of food in the house and tries to purposely splash everyone who comes over with water (but he’s also very sweet and cuddly when he’s not sprinting around the garden in circles chasing imaginary animals)
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calamitydaze · 1 month
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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designernishiki · 11 months
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in a couple months im gonna be asked what I did over the summer and I’m just gonna sit there unresponsive because I don’t want to admit to playing between 250-300 hours of yakuza 0
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yourqueenb · 1 year
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Out of all the mystery books on Choices, were there any that you found particularly fun and/or well written? I'm not sure if it's just me bcs it might be a matter of taste which is super subjective, but something about the way PB does mystery stuff feels kinda...lackluster? I'm not sure what exactly it is about their mystery books (like TUH and MAH), but while they're not necessarily terrible they usually don't feel super satisfying
It’s def not just you. Idk how many times I’ve talked about this, but PB can’t do mystery. I believe that 100%. Maybe in the very beginning they could because I remember enjoying Most Wanted. But I haven’t played it in forever. And all of their mystery books after that have been lackluster as you said. (And I do mean all of them, including VoS and CoP, which are fan favorites).
I think one of the issues is that they always feel the need to make us investigate whatever noble pursuit the person had along with their death. And they really play up the fact that the victim was basically a saint and loved by all. And it’s just like 9 times out of 10, I do not care. It gets annoying and old. One of the other issues is that they also always do the collectibles for clues and stuff. And it’s usually either that you need almost all of them to understand whodunnit, how, and why (see: TUH) or pretty much none of them because they’re actually just extra pieces of information that aren’t all that interesting (see: MaH). Of course the former is worse because paywalling plot/other important story aspects is flat out ridiculous. But the latter annoys me too because premium content should add something to the story, not just little factoids.
I think writing a mystery book is a balancing act. And we all know PB already struggles with balance outside of that. They don’t know how to set the stage, build intrigue, and stop throwing in red herrings to let the story come to a conclusion at the right time. Or if they do manage to build intrigue, they still can’t craft a proper twist that feels shocking but makes sense/is believable at the same time. So that’s why VoS had a good setting/all that suspense throughout, but fell flat in the end. And that’s also why MaH never really found it’s footing as a mystery to begin with imo.
Didn’t intend to write an essay, so last issue I’ll speak on is the fact that PB also rarely writes good villains/a good dynamic between the MC and the villain. I think what their mystery books are missing is the feeling that whatever we’re investigating is a puzzle that needs to be solved. And one of the ways they could create that is by writing both villains/antagonists and MCs who are actually intelligent and fun to go up against/play as! It’s usually that the villain is 10 steps ahead. And not because he/she is particularly crafty but because they dumb MC down to drag the story out for 16-20 chapters. CoP is an exception because MC was actually pretty smart, but we had the dumbass murderer and her even dumber minion. So I truly believe that if we had characters who didn’t just bumble their way through the story and were legitimately formidable adversaries to each other, we would have a lot more fun maneuvering around the obstacles/red herrings/etc. thrown at us and solving the mystery OR being surprised by the twist/resolution but able to pick up the breadcrumbs and connect the dots after it’s revealed
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tariah23 · 5 months
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Ppl still be calling Sasuke abusive, it’s crazy to me-
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mrs-kelly · 1 year
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Good morning!! I am! Still so caught off guard by my dream last night!! ahdjfl
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lilgynt · 6 months
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naturally i’m gonna be very upset at 6:09 am after an all-nighter over my brother and his actions
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#personal#not the middle one we’re okay rn and talking again and he helped me get with my new job#even tho we haven’t spoken about the door and im not supposed to know he paid for it#so good but watch out#the eldest one i’m like hey i was gonna forgive ghosting me or flaking on plans you made with me for our dad#or not communicating that you already got everything done with said dad and all i really knew was my dad asking asking asking for his#eldest son and struggling for an answer for him#and even like not checking on me at all after i got kicked out and bringing a girl back and asking me to pretend to be asleep#god i regret not sleeping in a rest stop like planned that was so much worse#and also you and other brother just ignoring me begging for help telling you i got back into my ed and honestly going through the worst#time of my life also weed dependent to just cope and also my job sucked. minor but still#but again was ready to let it go bc you were so obviously in pain at the funeral i couldn’t be mad at that#but like why. after i offered to clean up after ur dogs did you um. ask me to do it again#then cussed me out after i asked that you don’t ask on the dot of when my shifts end#and then after mom told me i was selfish while struggling with a full time job and taking care of my dying father and struggling with that#and i was just asking what ur living situation was bc i felt like. hm. being told i’m awful for struggling during my dads death is a lot#instead of just saying no you go on a rant about how when we finally want to move in with you you’re doing something else and general#shit giving. instead of again. just saying no. or hell. checking on me.#so it’s like i’ll love you until every star gives out i can’t fucking look at you bc i’m so hurt#we haven’t talked since then and im not gonna hear from him till he asks what i want from christmas or he needs something#christ last time he checked on me was a segway to helping me going about the hoarder house as he loves calling it#i can’t believe i sent him photos of our dads writing saying i love you and his only question was is it still hoarder central#i was gonna type something mean i’m gonna lay down#i don’t want any gifts why would i want a gift. told him that i was hurt and didn’t want a gift my birthday and he responded and it’s gonna#and he’s didn’t respond*#be the same game during christmas#you brought a girl over on such an awful fucking night for me why would i want a gift#and it’s not like he hasn’t been there and doesn’t love me it’s just i’m hurt#and it’s not like he had all this space and my other brother and i never used it! i got kicked out and stayed a night!#other brother moved in with you! sorry circumstances led to me staying longer! just say no!
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