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#I JUST THINK ITS COMEDY
natashatrace · 14 days
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“Long fucking day,” Rooster mutters, clinking his glass against Phoenix’s where it sits on the bar.
“He pulled my papers.” “Why would he do that?”
Phoenix hums, nodding a little without looking over. Her eyes stay fixed on the thin napkin underneath her glass, thumb catching over the rim and pushing through the salt in a couple short, quick passes.
“Did you write me a note, Natasha?” “No. I wrote down my room number.”
Natasha snorts out a laugh, exhaling and bringing her thumb to her lips. Her tongue catches against the callus on her fingertip as she licks the salt away, quickly knocking back half of the top-shelf margarita she’d ordered in one go.
Bradley has an eyebrow raised when she finally does meet his eyes. Grinning, he tilts his head and says, “Well. Pray tell, Phoenix. What’re we drinkin’ about?”
Phoenix turns on her barstool, knees knocking against Rooster’s. She rests both hands on his thighs, squeezing his legs in reassurance as she explains, “You remember when I told you I’d hooked up with an older guy during fleet week?”
“Years ago,” Bradley nods, brows drawing together. “Yeah. I remember. You wouldn’t shut up about him for weeks. Why?”
Phoenix pats one of Rooster’s legs. “I’m very sorry for what I’m about to put you through.”
“Huh?”
“I’m Maverick.” “Oh, I’ve heard of you.” “Good things, I hope.” “Impossible things. I’m hoping they’re all true.”
“Bradley,” Phoenix says slowly, carefully. “I hooked up with Maverick.”
Three things happen in quick succession:
Bradley’s smile drops, he breathes out a sigh, and then he proceeds to empty his glass of whiskey in one swallow.
“Please tell me you’re lying.”
Phoenix covers her mouth with her hand to hide the way she’s smirking. Judging by the narrowing of Bradley’s eyes, it doesn’t work. “Nope.”
“Natasha. Oh my god. Jesus, are you — you gave me very explicit details about that hookup.”
“I think it’s cosmic payback for all the times I’ve had to listen to you go on and on about Hangman’s perfect dick.”
“It’s not even that good,” Bradley refutes, looking away, blushing a deep red.
Phoenix sips at her margarita. “You’re a bad fucking liar.”
Bradley pinches at the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “So you fucked my godfather. What the fuck, Tash.”
“For the record, I’m still on your side,” she says, thinking back to their earlier conversation on the tarmac. “But I also think you need to know, in the interest of best friend honesty, that I’m a little swayed by his absolutely perfect —“
“If you finish that sentence, I’m getting a new best friend.”
“Like you could ever replace me,” Phoenix huffs. She waves a hand toward the bartender across the room and asks, “You want another drink?”
Bradley’s answer is immediate. “Several.”
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vinyldiskk · 1 year
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shiraseposting
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gundamcalibarney · 13 days
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I argue that if you take the silliness out of transformers then it’d lose its charm cause transformers has always been known to get a bit goofy and you really cant ignore that facet of the franchise
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cryptocism · 1 year
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You think just anybody can qualify for a crush on Superboy? There's a vetting process. You have to submit an application to the board.
I continue to draw the silly bits of Frequency (this one is from Chapter 5, if context is a thing you like to have)
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bebagerie · 4 months
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For the redraws if u are still doing them !
me, apparently
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atmothart · 1 year
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Wouldn't lizard fashion be something like spikes and scales and a frilled lizard collar?
Like so?
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(Bonus art under the cut)
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loktauri · 2 months
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Tma au where nothing is wrong ever and Jon gets to pet as many cats as he likes
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months
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Why would you—That's not—I just wanted to ask for help, why did you have to go and make it awkward???
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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ineffectualbookseller · 8 months
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The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field
It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work
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and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you
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your work is trivialized
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and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over
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or when your complaints are dismissed
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and you get more of the same from upper management
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it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day
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It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity
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The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again
(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)
Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off
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Okay here is the new au
Dont have a name for it yet because tumblr doesnt like the E word from the titel so ill have to think of something else...
Sun and Moon had to move from their luxury apartment to a smaller flat to get away from paparazzi after being involved in a scandal
Y/N just wants to live their life and avoids Sun and Moon in the beginning because they really dont want management to find out and fire them (overly cautious of y/n but understandable. Management is super secretive bc of super importent people frequenting the business). Luckily for them they are super inconspicious at work so neither Sun nor Moon notice at all that their new neighbour is also the person that has to clean up their messes at work and sometimes even is in the room to bring something like new clothing when they are currently entertaining a guest
Sun just wants to befriend his new neighbour and is super sad that Y/N is not interestd. He gets a crush almost immidiatly. After he gets kinda friendly with Y/N he gets super afraid that Y/N might find out what his job is and judge him because of it.
Moon is a little more distant but after some shenenigans with Y/N (who wants to stay away from them but still helps when Sun and Moon need it) he develops a little crush and tries to get closer, though all his usual flirts dont work on Y/N and he is super confused about it (Y/N is just used to this shit from work)
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spaceistheplaceart · 4 months
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Hello! For the promt could you do Dimple trying to make Reigen laugh?
ok so a tiny bit of context, at one point I drafted up a big ekurei fanfic and was including some random scenes of them just spending time together and having fun. Which is why they're at the grocery store here, y'know, domestic. I also was thinking about how in the anime I never really see Reigen cracking jokes or laughing at jokes... and then somehow I got to the point where I think Reigen has the same sense of humour as Jerma
Here's the clip im referencing, please go watch it: clip link
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local man goes into a laughing fit in the grocery store more at 11
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wuntrum · 21 days
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its kind of personally devastating for me on an art making level that orville isn't doing the fringe on the mask anymore...like never? never again? :'(
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marragurl · 2 months
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Listen. I love Jing Yuan x Dan Heng. Jingheng, hengjing, I adore them all.
And I like the narrative that most agree on that Jing Yuan adored Dan Feng and fell in love all over again when he meets Dan Heng and now loves Dan Heng for being him and not Dan Feng.
Or like Jing Yuan loves Dan Feng but doesn’t act on it since Dan Feng and Yingxing have their whole thing going on and then there’s the angst of Dan Heng thinking Jing Yuan only loves him due to Dan Feng but Jing Yuan having to reassure/prove he loves Dan Heng even with his past feelings for Dan Feng.
BUT-
I am a SUCKER for the idea that Jing Yuan had no romantic feelings at all for Dan Feng.
Like picture it-
The first thing Dan Heng sees is Jing Yuan freeing him and “saving” him. My boy is down bad. This man has been researching the Luofu and by extent Jing Yuan constantly while he was running across the universe.
And then he actaully starts learning about the HQC and the drama of that whole friend group- including Jing Yuan and Dan Feng
Dan Heng constantly hearing/having dreams that seem to imply that Jing Yuan and Dan Feng had something going on (throw in Yingxing, it’s a three-way situation, make it more funny- tragic ). Blade doesn’t help this situation and Dan Feng’s shadow just grows insanely more and more over Dan Heng. Jingliu says some comments during her life changing field trip with Yanqing and now the Jing Yuan and Dan Feng relationship spirals into the cloud knights rumor mill as well aka Sushang def makes some comments when she meets up with Dan Heng later.
Throw in the fanfiction they seem to have on the Luofu and Dan Heng feels like he has no chance at all.
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND-
Jing Yuan has no idea that this has been happening.
That man was a goner as soon as he laid eyes on Dan Heng at Scalesgorge waterscape.
Like, Jing Yuan x Dan Feng was nothing more than a nice friendship and maybe something bro like. Maybe if they had more time (and Yingxing didn’t come rizzing up DF) they could have developed romance. All the rumors and events are blatant misunderstandings that have snowballed and spiraled way out of control and Jing Yuan has been busy mourning his BFFs and trying to lead the Luofu for the last who knows how many years to take care of his romance rumor mill.
But Dan Heng?
Jing Yuan is GONE
Dan Heng fell first but damn did Jing Yuan fall harder.
My man saw Dan Heng IL form, had a gay panic, reeled it in to go kick Phantylia’s ass, got princess carried, was nursed to health, saw Dan Heng and Bailu bond and saved their asses, AND saw Dan Heng base form, and went “yup. That’s the one. I will die for him. I will adore him. There is no one else. No discussion or argument.”
He’s the only one who constantly calls him by his current name, outside of that tense moment in Scalesgorge, Dan Feng is rarely mentioned, he does everything to make Dan Heng comfortable, I AM A SUCKER FOR JING YUAN NUMBER 1 DAN HENG LOVER
whenever someone or Dan Heng tries to bring up Dan Feng and their past relationship Jing Yuan just goes “??? Dan Heng is amazing, why are we talking about Dan Feng?”
Like there’s nothing else. Dan Heng is his first and only and Jing Yuan has no idea how to handle ANY of it.
Idk where I’m going with this, there’s just something so insane to me about the idea of Jing Yuan truly knowing both Dan Feng and Dan Heng but ONLY falling in love with Dan Heng. Just giving more food to thought about the Vidyadhara reincarnation system, a more concrete form of just how different Dan Heng and Dan Feng are from each other that someone who knows both fell in love with only one of them.
I just want the most blatant confirmation for Dan Heng that Jing Yuan truly only sees him and loves him for him, not because of Dan Feng.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while, is it obvious?
I think this has been marinating in my mind since that one side quest back in 1.3? Maybe 1.2? The one where the Vidyadhara guy is trying to woo the Xianzhou native girl and how he keeps falling in love with her in every life but she only liked the first few versions of him?
Anyways, something about that really got me thinking about long life, immortality, and how the whole point of reincarnation is that you’re a different person from the past and how the same person who’s known you each time will form different opinions and thoughts based on each new person.
Because that’s the whole point isn’t it? To be a whole new person?
I got way too philosophical for a post about me ranting about the complexities of Jing Yuan and Dan Heng falling in love
I am FERAL
(ALSO THE ANISHORT HNNNN WE WON BOIS)
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mamawasatesttube · 4 months
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first, I just wanna say the Kon agonies are making me lose my freaking mind!!!! oh my GOD I’m devouring your writing every single time!!!
second, for my actual ask!! I was wondering how you think timkon’s proposal would be like? If you haven’t already told us, I feel like you have but I’m not sure!
thank you thank you!! i love kon and his issues. he has so many of them. (shameless plug for the kon agonies here again <3)
i love to think abt timkon proposal ideas. many possible ways it could go but i FIRMLY believe the one way it Can't go is "traditionally perfect and cliché and romantic". it has to go sideways at least a little. they're both weirdos with an insane general lifestyle. i have several ideas that i think are all really fun, but the baseline is just that there's no way it goes off without a hitch. therefore, i present:
how DO tim and kon get engaged? (one possibility!)
on a very casual chill date night in, while sharing a pizza while hanging out on the couch in their pajamas and watching star trek, they agree they want to get married. they also both agree it'll still be fun to do a proposal.
yeah each of them is now going "hehehe. i'm gonna surprise him with a nice date and i'll romance him as he deserves and then ask him to marry me and he will be swept off his feet!!!"
so. you know. now it's a race.
one weekend, kon takes tim on a lovely romantic date. by the point kon's got him sitting in his lap way up in the sky, twirling wispy clouds around them both into hearts while he points up at stars way overhead, tim is INCREDIBLY suspicious of what's coming (a proposal) and is SO mad because he was going to propose NEXT WEEKEND.
kon's sappy speech gets interrupted by toyman attacking metropolis and tim is like. oh thank god. i mean uhh... wow... FUCK toyman! i'm SO mad about this! meanwhile kon pouts the entire time he's decimating a small army of toy soldiers with real guns. tim finds this adorable.
kon almost still pops the question anyway, but his vanity stops him. his hair got a little singed by a giant firebomb and he's upset about it. he can't propose like this.
next weekend, tim takes kon on a lovely romantic date. when he goes down on one knee in front of a park fountain under a canopy of string lights (very romantic, kon deserves it), kon starts HOLLERING and pulls his ring box out like NO!!! I DID SO GOOD LAST WEEK IM PROPOSING TO YOU!!!!!
tim: NOT IF I GET THERE FIRST. CONNER KENT YOURE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE—
kon: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE YOURE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND IM GONNA PUNT YOU INTO THIS FOUNTAIN IF YOU DONT LET ME PROPOSE TO YOU FIRST—
tim, yelling over him: —AND I'D BE HONORED TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU—
kon tackles him.
they both fall into the fountain.
they both have to hunt for their ring boxes in the fountain.
passerby are staring.
they are in their nice fancy date clothes. on their hands and knees. crawling around in a big ol park fountain. it's cold. they're a mess. please send help
kon finds his ring box first (tim swears up and down that he cheated by ttking tim's box away every time he almost grabbed it) and tackles tim a second time, sits on him in the fountain, and grabs his face.
tim licks him. kon is, shockingly, undeterred.
"TIM," he says, and squishes tim's cheeks. "you're a STUBBORN ASSHOLE. WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
"I'M a stubborn asshole?!" tim demands. it's muffled because his cheeks are still very squished. "god, obviously yes, but you're the jackass, i planned tonight out so well and you hijacked it—"
kon kisses him. tim kisses him back.
tim's ring box mysteriously happens to brush his fingers then. very convenient, thank you, kon.
they exchange rings still sitting there in the cold water under all the lights. tim's teeth are starting to chatter.
passerby are still staring.
they don't care. they're engaged!
and that's the story of how tim drake gets mild hypothermia and kon fusses and frets over him for the rest of the weekend—uhhh I MEAN, the story of how tim and kon get engaged. yippee!!
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cowboy-robooty · 3 months
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no shame to whoever likes this stuff but i always think its insane just how many people like hetalia where theyre sobbing and terrible people and abuse and cheating and crazysauce shit. cuz i love evil stories with darker themes/relationships too dont get me wrong but it feels to me like doing that to hetalia is like doing that to looney tunes. me when woodpecker has irreversably traumatized coyote and [REDACTED][REDACTED][REDACTED]. im just sayin guys i think hetalia fandom is in the same ballpark of the south park fandom sometimes
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onefey · 1 year
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i'm not really a gijinka person but i thought it'd be really funny if pmd hydreigon had ghetsis-style hair spikeys. guy who looks like a disney villain but is actually a disney princess.
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