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canonmisogynyvictimstournament · 7 months

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PROPAGANDA

EVE (PARADISE LOST)

1.) I recognise how insane this submission is because this was written in 1667 and so attitudes towards women were obviously very different. But misogyny has always existed, no matter the time period, and so I think it’s fair to pick up on it. Although Milton somewhat avoids painting Eve as the wicked seductress, she is nevertheless presented as inherently inferior to Adam - her ‘virtue’ and 'passion’ are supposed to be an equal counterpart to Adam’s intellect but Milton’s clear resentment of Eve shines through. She is vain from the beginning - enamoured with her own reflection until she meets Adam. She is Adam’s subordinate and readily accepts her place in the hierarchy below him, until she meets Satan. Women seeking power and knowledge is therefore inextricably tied to the fall of mankind. Her attempt for some kind of independence away from Adam (going to tend the garden away from him) is also presented as the primary reason she succumbed to Satan because Adam is needed to protect her. Eve (the mother of all women) therefore creates the assumption that women are weak and easily misled away from men. The description of her eating the apple is very sexual - perhaps reflecting the anxieties of men at the time of being cuckolded and therefore dishonoured by their wives. She is the ultimate disobedient, dangerous wife. Her reason for sharing the forbidden knowledge with Adam, rather than keeping it for herself, is because she is worried she will face the wrath of God and be replaced with another Eve. So it is her jealousy that brings them both down. (It is all a lot more complicated than this so Eng lit people don’t kill me) but yeah poor Eve.

CORDELIA CHASE (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/ANGEL THE SERIES) (CW: Pregnancy)

1.) (downs an entire bottle of vodka and slams it back on the table) SO. CORDY. Cordy started off as a supporting character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the start she was your typical high school mean girl character, but as the show went on we got to see more depth to her character: her insecurities, her courage, her capacity for incredible acts of kindness. Then after the third season she moved into the show’s spin off, Angel, where from the beginning she was basically the show’s secondary protagonist. Her and Angel were the two mainstays of the show’s main cast, she gets the most episodes centered on her out of all the characters aside from Angel (and yes, I’ve checked), and we really got to see her grow from a very shallow and self-centered and kind of mean person to a true hero who was prepared to give up any chance at a normal life to fight the good fight while still never losing the basic core of her character. There were some… questionable moments like the episode where she gets mystically pregnant with demon babies and things got a bit iffy like halfway through season 3 where the writers seemed to run out of ideas for what to do with her outside of sticking her in this romance drama/love triangle situation with the main character but overall, pretty good stuff right? THEN SEASON 4 HAPPENED. In season 4 she gets stripped of literally all agency and spends pretty much the entire season possessed by an evil higher power, and while possessed she sleeps with Angel’s teenage son (who BY THE WAY she had helped raise as a baby before he got speed-grown-up into a teenager it was a whole thing don’t worry about it) and gets pregnant with like. the physical manifestation of the higher power that’s possessing her. it’s about as bad and stupid as it sounds and also is like the third time cordy’s got mystically pregnant in this show and like the fourth mystical pregnancy storyline overall (you will be hearing more on that note in other submissions I’m so sorry). after giving birth she goes into a coma, in which she remains for the rest of season 4 and the first half of season 5. SPEAKING OF WHICH DON’T THINK SEASON 5 IS GETTING OFF SCOT FREE HERE. yeah so in season 5 the show just FULLY starts trying to erase cordy’s existence. she gets mentioned ONCE in the first episode and then never again until halfway through the season where she wakes up, helps out Angel for a bit and encourages him in his fight against evil, and then goes quietly into that good night and dies so it can be all sad and tragic. I’d call it the worst fridging of all time but even THAT feels generous because the whole point of fridging is killing off a female character so a man can be sad, and after Cordy dies basically no one’s even sad about it because the show immediately goes back to pretending she never existed. she is not mentioned ONCE in the two episodes after she dies. in the whole stretch of time between her death and the end of the season she gets mentioned exactly four times. again, I counted. anyway the fun twist to all of this is that all of this happened because the actress who played cordy got pregnant before season 4 and joss whedon was so pissed off about this affecting his plans for the show that he decided to completely fuck over her character and then fire her and write her out of the show. so cordy’s a victim of both writing AND real life misogyny!! good times!!

2.) OH SO MANY THINGS they menaced by giving her terrible hair cuts, making her seem like she’d get together with the guy she loves (and who loves her back) but instead she was killed and when she was brought back, she got possessed by an evil entity who used her body to give birth to itself. afterwards she was in a long coma and died. her character was so throughoutly assassinated

3.) She got demonically pregnant TWICE - there was this real sense of a womb/ability to get pregnant as like, a place for evil to get in. She got positioned as femme fatale and evil mother. The actress basically got fired for being pregnant, and when she agreed to come back for a single final episode she specifically said they could do anything but kill off the character. Guess what happened

#polls #round 2 #week 4 #new #cw pregnancy

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mrlarkstin · 23 days

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I always have a personal fascination with how children change people's characters SO, with this in mind, how did Eramus deal with becoming a father? Was he nervous, scared or excited (or maybe all of them at once)? Are there mistakes in his own upbringing he wants to correct or protect his children from? How did he feel the first time he held them in his arms?

First, thank you for this ask I LOVE talking about Eramus and his relationship with his kids!

Second, buckle up, here comes the lore drop lmao.

Eramus' children are his everything. His oldest, Harklan, is the whole reason he became the Warrior of Light originally. He never really wanted to have a child as early as he did (21), he wanted to wait until he at least was closer to 30 or in his 30s (I like to HC that Elezen life spans are similar to D&D elves life spans, I believe we also got a bit of a look at the life spans of elves on the First when a Viera said "We live longer then three of your elven lives" or something, anyways thats just me rambling and my own little HC territory lmao, I like D&D) but his partner at the time (Lahabrea in disguise, but that is a WHOLE other lore drop for another post LMAO) had other plans and the two ended up having Harklan. It, was not a pleasant experience at the beginning (CW: Pregnancy talk) and Eramus was RIDDLED with fear, anxiety and depression, he didn't enjoy his pregnancy like a lot of his friends and such had, he was scared, nervous, something wasn't sitting right and it was genuinely a very unpleasant experience. Not to mention how odd his partner was acting towards him and their unborn child. By the time Harklan was born Eramus was extremely depressed and distant towards his child, his partner was acting strange towards Harklan and Eramus really just, didn't know how to be a father. He was scared, he didn't know what to do and would constantly call his mother for help, advice, anything. He loved his son, but he was scared of him.

After some time, Eramus began to warm up to the boy and started to fall in love with him. But it was also around that time that his partner's whole attitude changed, he wanted the boy gone and demanded they try again, that Harklan was "wrong", everything was wrong. Confused, Eramus didn't agree and said that Harklan was perfect just the way that he was. But his partner didn't agree. And not to get into it (its another post's lore drop LMAO) but one night, Eramus grabbed his son and fled into the night, running away from Gridania, running away from his life, his home and going into hiding for a couple years with his son before slowly reappearing and starting his journey as the WOL (there is a lot more but this is the TLDR). Harklan, is the whole reason Eramus left on his journey and even became the wol, the intense desire to protect his son is what caused his partners downfall (another lore post LMAO) and him to become the saviour of the Star.

There was a lot of trouble on the road, trying to care and raise a toddler while on the road, while trying to keep him happy and protect those around him. He didn't know if what he was doing was right, he his son resented him for not letting him set down and roots anywhere. Eramus had to hide his emotions constantly, he'd have to remain calm and collected in tense situations all so his son would not pick up on his emotions and get scared, sad or panic. His mother taught him so much, but there was so much more he had to learn on his own, he couldn't turn to anyone for years until he finally, finally stopped Lahabrea once and for all.

Eramus refuses profusely to talk about Harklan's father, he won't even tell Estinien or Vrtra. Only one person knows and thats Thancred, and Thancred would never tell anyone without Eramus' express permission.

His love for his son is what caused him to lose his leg (another lore drop LMAOOOOOO omg, there is so much I am SO sorry this is never ending), his love for his son is what caused him to become wol, to become a hero.

By the time he died in Ultima Thule and Vrtra's blood gave him new life his son was 7 and told him that he never resented his upbringing, thanks to his dad he got to see SO much more then any other kid will ever get to see.

Annndd then Eramus wound up pregnant again. LMAO. New body, new anatomy, new everything and, well...(CW: Eggpreg) he found out he was pregnant with an egg after a night of passion with Estinien and Vrtra. Something, none of them knew how to deal with. Eramus is a dragon now and this is now something he has to deal with.

Being pregnant with Altan egg was as scary, if not more scary then when he was pregnant with Harklan. None of them knew what to do, his blessing of light and his Oath (>.>) interrupted his full transformation into a dragon, like how other Ishgardians turn fully and eventually cannot revert back to their humanoid forms, Eramus can freely transform between the two (<.< >.>) and that caused a lot of confusion. He grew scales, fangs, his pupils slit, he should be a dragon, but he was stuck in a half and half state and they weren't sure if he was carrying a clutch, they prayed he was so it would be easier to birth, or if it was just one egg.

But this time, he had loving and caring partners who supported him, a son who was cheering him on and excited to meet his new sibling or siblings. Despite some fear, this time, he was excited. Happy and looking forward to his new little one.

When Altan hatched, he cried holding her in his arms, he was so happy. SO excited. His little family was whole, he was surrounded by love and so much happiness.

INHALES

TLDR: HE LOVES HIS KIDS AND WOULD ACTUALLY DIE FOR THEM THANKS OKAY BYE MWAH THANK YOU FOR THE ASK

HAVE HIS WHOLE FAMILY! HIS ADOPTIVE PARENTS, BOTH PARTNERS AND HIS CHILDREN! WOOOOO

#eras lore

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sundaeserenade · 2 years

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This is more of an idiosyncrasy thing than a trope thing because it really does vary per fic/author, in your opinion...

Does Red have red eyes, brown eyes or black eyes (ehem, onyx black eyes)

Does Red have gray hair, brown hair or black hair

Does Green have green eyes or brown eyes

Does Green have a twunkish body or a skinny twig bod with slight lean muscle due the perambulating he does

Does Pikachu dislike or love Green

Ik you're a "Green Oak" user but wdyt of the use of Blue Oak?

Did Red come down because he lost to someone (Johto protag/Let's Go protag, your choice) or did he come down because he wanted to live with his beloved dearest partner in life or did he come down due to circumstance such as the PWT/Green leaving for Kalos

OHHH HOW FUNNN

I like Red to have dark brown eyes…so dark that they're almost black. Just almost…

Brown hair! or like… black with a brown/auburn undertone. Like if you held a lock of his hair up to the sunlight, you'd see the brown color… beautiful.

Green has brown eyes! no shade to people who prefer him to have green eyes, I just personally find it refreshing to have brown-eyed characters..around! plUS THEY'RE CUTE

this depends on what I'm writing. In bet the farm, Green has a twunkish body because…he's working on a farm. In everything else, though, I kinda like have him be lean? Like twinkish but he's got muscle. Like he's a pokemon trainer, I think we have. Like i think he's got a littls schmeat. some lean meat, if you will.

I fucking love it when pikachu hates green it's always funny and it'll never not be funny. But it's cute when pikachu loves green, too 🥺🥺🥺

I just like all of Red's pokemon to be like "meh" when it comes to green, meanwhile, Green's pokemon ALL LOVE RED. Sometimes I feel bad though, and make one of Red's pokemon take pity on green. I did this in gaba with venusaur…she just wants to be nice to him.

I don't mind people who say blue oak! either is fine, it's personal preference. I just like green. I like them being christmas colors. But red and blue are good too!!

hmmm 🤔🤔this changes depending on the fic, but i prefer it when red comes down to to circumstances. frankly, I think the only thing that could convince red to come down is a pokemon battle. like, ethan/gold came to HIM, so red has no reason to leave, so the pokemon tournament is a good way to do that.

the only other way..i can see it happening is if certain things happened. like if red and green are on good terms and green goes "i'm leaving for kalos" then maybe red would come down and hang out with him and try and understand why he's leaving.

this also comes down to hc for why red went up there in the first place. i personally think it was a combination of trauma/depression/anxiety, resentment for having to fight giovanni, resentment toward green, etc. I just think it'd take a lot, perhaps more than one thing, to get him to come down. but again, this depends on teh fic and what led up to that point.

and i think that's super fun! part of the reason why writing pokemon fic is so fun is that you can play with the timeline. in one fic, red stays on the mountain for 3 years, in another, it's 6. There's a lot of stuff you can do. you have so much freedom! it's great.

thank you for this ask!! IT'S SO FUN TO TALK ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFFF

#ask #anon #long post

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swanpyart · 3 years

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Whitty and Carol Headcanons

TW: manipulation and parental death mention)

Carol:

She lives in her own apartment, and works a full time job at a bookstore. She didn’t go to college cus it was way too expensive (and that’s a valid option btw)

Her and GF have been friends since high school and the two of them look out for each other. Carol once had a crush on her when they were younger and the two dated briefly, but they decided it was weird and broke up. Of course, it was mutual and they are still friends

She’s probably the only person who BF raps against that is basically just a normal person tbh; she’s not a demon or an assassin or anything, she’s just a 19-year-old black gal with taxes to pay

She‘s very relaxed and chill, but she’s smart and thinks things through (the FNF creators describe BF and GF as idiots who never have any clue how much danger they’re in, so I like to think GF has a really smart friend). I think that if GF suggested something stupid, she’d go along with it to laugh at the result

She likes memes and watches movies that are objectively terrible to mock them. She’s also a Megan Thee Stallion and Lizzo fan (I’m not projecting wdym)

Her parents died while she was in high school, so she was forced to look out for herself. Usually it seems not to bother her, but there are plenty of times where she really misses them and can’t get out of bed

She’s the type of person whose usually very collected and good under pressure but tends to bottle up her feelings until they come out in a really embarrassing way

She doesn’t like asking for help or hand outs because of all of that either, which can make her seem uncharacteristically stubborn

Her parents eloped against the rest of her family’s wishes, so Carol is estranged from the rest of her relatives

Whitty (this is for FNF Whitty only):

A former rockstar who was very underground but was eventually halted by Daddy Dearest. I don’t think Daddy Dearest was another rockstar; I think he was Whitty’s MANAGER, and he kept being controlling over him and his image. Whitty was angry and hurt that someone he trusted kept trying to manipulate him and that he lost control of his career, so he eventually quit music altogether

Whitty was also made in a factory by a corporation that wanted to make a perfect doomsday weapon. The place was shut down and he was able to escape. He kind of resents what he is, which didn’t make the situation with DD any better, since it was just another shady person trying to use him as a tool

Whitty’s ballistic mode activates when he feels intense negative emotions in general, not just anger (anxiety, sadness, grief, fear, etc.).

Ballistic mode only causes a massive explosion if he doesn’t “cool down” after a certain period of time. It’s like a panic attack with a timer

I don’t really see him as grumpy, just distrustful and quick to suspicion. He is reasonable towards strangers, if a bit quiet, but if you do something that gives the impression that you‘ll turn on him or that you want to cause him trouble, he’ll get angry

He has anxiety and is a lot more paranoid than he seems; he’s got MASSIVE trust issues

He’s semi-homeless: sometimes he makes money by singing smaller gigs at restaurants, and rents motel rooms (since some smaller establishments recognize him well enough). He’s just such a paranoid person that it leaks into his work life and makes it hard for him to hold a job without quitting out of anxiety

He also occasionally sleeps in alleys because of this too

Miscellaneous:

Carol has a thing for tall guys but doesn’t tell Whitty cus she knows he’s insecure about his looks and doesn’t want to put him on the spot

Occasionally, Whitty stays at her apartment until he finds a job, which only happens if she literally forces him to. He tries to avoid using any of her stuff and only ever stays for three days at most since he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome (even when she insists he stay longer)

If she’s having a mental health crisis, though, he ALWAYS stays longer until she’s better (which drives her nuts, because he only stays at her place longer if he thinks it’ll make her feel better and not for his own well being)

Neither are good cooks and usually order takeout.

Carol high key thinks it’s weird that Whitty doesn’t poop. Whitty thinks it’s weird that she does.

When they watch bad movies together, Whitty unironically can’t tell why their bad. His taste in movies is horrible and Carol loves it.

If the two are in public, Whitty wears his hoodie up so people stare at him less since his bomb head is so iconic. People still stare cus he’s so tall. If someone tries to bug him in public, Carol usually tells them off.

Whitty is also asexual and biromantic, and Carol is Pansexual

#fnf whitty #whitty mod #friday night funkin whitty #fnf #friday night funkin #fnf carol #carol mod #Friday night funkin carol #whitty x carol

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islesnucks · 3 years

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THE NANNY - ELIAS PETTERSSON X READER

inspired by this fragment of what bo said in a interview about letting the team babysit Gunnar

ps: i don’t know if they nicknamed him Gunnsey, just saw Jake call him that once

ps2: this is not proofread so just a warning

Word count: 3.4 k (a bit longer than what i usually do)

Warnings: kidnap is mention a couple times jokingly bc petey at first thinks Y/N’s kidnapping the kid, even though it’s meant 100% as a joke i know it could be triggering so just letting you know, however just in case keep in mind it’s never used seriously

Summary: Elias doesn’t know Bo and Holly hired a nanny so the first time he sees you with the baby he freaks out a little, eventually apologizes and there's fluff (i suck at summaries)

Masterlist

Add yourself to the taglist!

Elias was coming out of the dressing room when he saw you rushing down the hall with a little kid in your arms that he knew for sure wasn’t yours, because it was in fact his captain's son. So he did what seemed like the reasonable thing to do: look for Bo or Holly to tell them. Luckily Bo was near the door finishing his interview with a couple reporters.

“Hey Bo?” he approached him as soon as the reporters left.

“What Petey?” He could see the alarmed look on the boy’s face.

“I think I saw a girl running away with your kid.” he told Bo, who was about to lose it when he saw you walking down the hall in their direction with his son in your arms. He let out a relieving sigh, making Elias confused. If it was his child he definitely would be calling 911 by now.

“Is that the girl you were talking about?” Bo asked, pointing at you. The hall had become more crowded since the rest of his teammates started coming out, but he could see you as you stretched your neck and looked around for someone. Elias nodded, getting more confused by the second.

“That’s our nanny dumbass.” he informed him, hitting him in the back of the head for making him needlessly worry.

“A Nanny?”

“Yes a nanny Elias. She looks after our kid, takes care of him. Don’t they have those in Sweden?” He knew what a nanny was and Bo’s sarcastic remark only made him feel more stupid. Of course you were the nanny, it was pretty obvious, now that he looked at you he could see you were carrying the bag Holly normally brought everywhere with Gunnar’s stuff.

“They do I just-” he started to defend himself but instantly shut up when he saw you appear next to him.

“Hey look it’s your daddy!” you said to little Gunnar in your arms as the baby stretched his arms toward his father making grabby hands. Bo smiled at his son and took him in his arms, but you could tell there was a bit of concern on his face.

”Is everything, okay?” you asked.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just that Petey here though you were kidnapping Gunnar and almost gave me a heart attack.” Bo explained. Elias looked down embarrassed as his cheeks turned red. You on the other hand were too busy panicking to even notice the blushing mess standing next to you.

The Horvats had hired you mainly to help Holly around the house since she was getting back to her work and especially when Bo had to go on roadtrips. They also wanted Gunnar to get familiar with you, that’s why you were there tonight. This was your first time with them out of the house, if you did something wrong they wouldn’t trust you so they would probably fire you and you really needed the job.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry! I forgot my phone back on our seats and Holly had gone to the bathroom and you were still in there and I couldn’t leave him alone-”

“Y/N don’t worry. It’s fine.” he interrupted you with a sweet tone that made you ease the anxiety that started building up at the thought of losing your job before it even really started.

“I’m so sorry I should have told you before disappearing with Gunnsey.”

“Really don’t worry Y/N.” he kept reassuring you, but you couldn't shake off that bad feeling.

“What happened?” Holly asked after joining you and seeing your expression.

“Nothing, just a little misunderstanding Everything’s okay Y/N, really don’t worry.” Bo answered before you could and gave you a sweet smile that helped you calm your nerves. He would obviously tell Holly when they were back home, but it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t want to make you feel like they were coming down on you.

Elias was starting to feel a bit out of place there so he excused himself, said goodbye and left to find his friends, but not before giving you one final look. Now that he didn’t think you were trying to kidnap his teammate's kid he found you really pretty and felt even worse for what he made you go through. You were smiling and chatting with Bo and Holly about the game, but he could see you were still a bit nervous.

He made his way towards Jake, Quinn and Brock, who were already looking at him suggestively after seeing the whole interaction, completely obvious to the fact their friend had actually screwed up big time.

“Who’s that?” Brock was the first to ask, wiggling his eyebrows.

“She’s Bo and Holly’s new nanny.”

“I didn’t know they hired a nanny.” Quinn was the one talking now.

“Yeah, me neither and I kind of thought she was kidnapping Gunnsey-” he started to explain but instantly regretted it when he saw the looks on his friend’s faces. He was never going to hear the end of this.

“No you didn’t!” Brock cut him off and everyone started laughing, everyone except Elias who just shook his head trying once again to hide his embarrassment.

“Way to make a first impression Petey. She must hate you.” Jake said putting his arm around Elias.

“Fuck off.” he replied pushing his arm off and walking away towards the parking lot as he heard their laughs behind him. He was not in the mood to endure the teasing from his friends.

On the drive to his apartment he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He knew Bo and Holly weren’t going to fire you, they were nice reasonable people who understood it was all a misunderstanding; a misunderstanding caused by him. Yet he couldn’t shake off the feeling he should have said something or at least apologize. So he promised himself that was the exact thing he was gonna do when he saw you again.

The next time Elias saw you was a couple weeks later. Bo and Holly were hosting a barbecue for the whole team and had asked you to come over and help look after Gunnar while they prepared everything.

Elias walked into the house with one thing in mind: apologizing to you. However as he made his way through the house towards the backyard he couldn’t find you anywhere. He took a sit next to a sit with the rest of his teammates and tried to make casual conversation but his mind was stuck on you.

Bo noticed the way Elias was barely talking and constantly looking around for someone and it didn’t take him long to realize that someone was you. Elias had asked him about you a couple times at practice and games after what had happened the other night, but he still didn’t know if he was just being polite and wanted to apologize or there was something more going on.

“She’s inside playing with Gunnar in his room.” Bo leaned in to tell him so the rest wouldn’t hear, then he simply turned around and continued working on the grill. Elias was a bit confused at first, he didn’t understand how Bo could even know what he was even thinking about. However he quickly stood up mumbling some excuse about going to the bathroom and headed towards the house.

He found you sitting on a little couch with Gunnar in your lap reading a book. You were too focused on explaining the drawings on the pages to the kid to notice his presence. Elias stayed a couple seconds by the door in silence, not wanting to intrude in the sweet moment you were having. He couldn’t help but smile as he heard the sweet high pitch voice you used when talking to the little kid, how you’d smile and make a funny face at Gunnar, how he would laugh at you which only made both your smiles grow wider. If the other day he had thought you were pretty, today he was convinced you were beautiful.

Eventually you finished the book and Elias thought it was time to make his presence known before you notice he had been there the whole time and thought he was creeping on you or something. He was sure you already had a bad impression of him, no need to make it worse. He gently knocked on the door and your face shot up at him.

“Hey.” he said shyly walking into the room.

“Hi.” you replied as you got up with Gunnar still in your arms. The kid wrapped his arms around you and rested his face in your chest, it was clear he would fall asleep any moment from now.

“Can we talk?” Elias asked, not sure how to begin the conversation and a little afraid you’d blow him off.

“S-sure.” you replied a bit confused as to what he wanted to talk about. “But in a low voice, he’s really close to falling asleep.”

“Oh yeah sure.” he immediately lowered his tone to almost a whisper which you found cute. A small giggle escaped your lips.

“I’m Elias by the way.” he said, extending his hand but quickly putting it away and blushing when he realized you wouldn’t be able to shake it since you were holding the kid.

“Y/N. You’re Bo’s teammate, right? The one who thought I was kidnapping Gunnsey.” you added a smirk and arched brows, making his cheeks turn even redder. You were joking about it, that’s a good sign Elias though. Maybe you didn’t hate him.

“Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk about. I’m so sorry.” he finally said, letting out a deep sigh. He had been beating himself up about it since that night some weeks ago and finally being able to apologize was like taking a huge weight off of his shoulders. You could tell.

“Don’t worry, it was just a misunderstanding. I mean if I saw a stranger basically running down a hall with one of my friend’s kids I’d think the worst too. You did nothing wrong Elias.” you reassured him. Yes at the moment you nearly had a heart attack and felt a bit of resentment towards that guy who thought you could even do something like that, but after all you didn’t lose your job and you could tell Elias genuinely regret everything that had happened.

“Still I shouldn’t have thought you were kidnaping a child, you don’t look like you’d do that.”

“Glad to know I look like a decent human being.”

“You do! I mean not that I thought you didn’t. I-I think you look really pretty- really decent!” Elias started rambling trying to correct himself but felt he was only making everything worse. However you found the blushing mess of a man in front of you actually really cute.

“Thanks Elias, you look really decent too.” you told him with a sweet smile that helped calm his nerves down. He beamed down and at you and held your gaze. The room went silent but it wasn’t awkward at all. At one point you could have swore his blue eyes had hypnotized you.

“Oh you put him to sleep.” Holly said, appearing suddenly next to you. Only then you noticed at some point in your conversation with Elias Gunnar had fallen asleep in your arms. You then proceeded to walk up to the little bed and tried to lay the sleeping kid as gently as possible to not wake him up.

“You should head to the yard with us, grab something to eat.”

“Are you sure? What if he wakes up and-”

“Don’t be silly, that’s why we have the baby monitor. Come on, Elias can present you to the rest of the team.” she said hooking her arms with yours and basically dragging you out of the room too quickly to notice Elias blushed cheeks and for him to notice yours.

Just like Holly said Elias introduced you to the rest of the team before moving an empty chair so you could sit next to him. You didn’t miss the way his friends looked at you two and smirked, but decided not to make a deal out of it, just boys being boys.

The rest of the afternoon was spent eating, talking and laughing; mostly with Elias. At first you were part of the group conversation, but eventually your bodies started slowly turning to the point you were basically facing each other and having a conversation of your own.

He told you about him, how long he had been teammates with Bo, his love for hockey, how he felt moving to the states; he even showed off a little telling you about his rookie year and how he won the Calder trophy.

And you told him about yourself, what you were studying, how you started babysitting and a friend connected you with the Horvats. He listened to everything you said, no matter how boring and mundane it seemed to you. You weren’t traveling the country living your dream like him, but to him every single fact you told him about yourself was impressive. You genuinely felt heard which wasn’t something common, especially dealing with guys.

Gunnar stayed asleep for most of the time. Only once he woke up and when he did Holly insisted she would take care of it, that she missed her baby boy. But you knew she was just doing it so you could stay with Elias, and you internally thanked her for it.

You completely lost track of time and by the time you checked your phone's couldn't believe it was already almost evening.

“I should get going.” you announced getting up and the rest of the group booed.

“Come on it’s not even 6pm.” Jake said.

“I know, but I have an exam tomorrow and I should go over everything one last time.”

“Do you have a ride?” Holly asked.

“No but I’ll just take an uber-”

“Petey can drive you.” Jake proposed without even looking at his friend who was debating on whether to kill him or thank him.

“But he’s the designated driv-” Quinn started to say but shut up when Brock nudged him on the ribs with his elbow. It was embarrassingly obvious his friends were setting him up, but if it meant getting more times with you Elias didn’t mind. He’d deal with them later.

You looked at Elias who by now had stood up with you and was reaching for his keys on his pocket. “You really don’t have to.”

“Oh I was already thinking about leaving, don’t worry.” he reassured you but you were pretty sure the idea never crossed his mind till you have decided to leave.

Your apartment wasn’t far from the house so in a couple of minutes Elias was parking his car in front of the door of your building. Throughout the night a feeling started slowly growing inside of you. You could tell he was a genuinely nice guy, he apologized and spent the rest of the day getting to know you, genuinely interested in everything you told him. It was clear a connection was starting to form between the two of you and neither wanted it to stop.

“Thank you for the ride. You really didn’t have to.” you said once again, eyes stuck on the windshield.

“It’s the least I could do after the whole misunderstanding the other day.” he replied and the car fell into a comfortable silence. You knew it was time to say goodbye, but part of you wished you didn’t have to. Elias was thinking the exact same. He knew what he wanted, he wanted to see you again, but he couldn’t find the words and a part of him doubted if you were just being friendly and it was all in his head.

“Are you going to our next home game next friday?”

“Maybe, I don’t know if Holly and Bo will ask me to go with Gunssey.”

“I mean you could go by yourself …” he started to say and made a pause to look at you, gathering the courage he needed before adding: “to see me.”

“Would you like me to go see you?” you asked, finally turning your head to look at him.

“Yeah I’d really like that.” he replied without missing a beat. The smile that appeared in your face the moment you heard his words made every last bit of doubt disappear inside Elias.

He started to lean into you, heart beating fast on his chest, holding your gaze. You raised your hand gently cupping his cheek and bringing him even closer. His eyes went from yours to your lips and back to your eyes. You were so close you were basically breathing each other's breath. But when your lips were about to touch he stopped and whispered: “You still haven’t answered.”

“I’d love to-” you let out between giggles. He didn’t even let you finish and was already connecting his lips to yours, unable to hold himself back any longer.

His lips were soft against yours, but determinate, setting the rhythm. It was a shy kiss, your first one of many to come. At some point you took off your seat belts to be more comfortable, only prolonging the moment. You’d stop to catch your breath with your foreheads touching, but the second your eyes connected again, go back to kissing, like you couldn’t get enough.

“I should go in, people are gonna start wondering why there’s been a sports car parked in the front door for the last couple minutes.” you joked, definitely pulling away from him but not daring to look at him because you knew if you did you were never getting out of the car. He leaned back on his seat, still in disbelief of everything that had happened. You looked at him one last time before you were about to get out of the car, and decided one last kiss wouldn’t hurt nobody.

He was surprised at first when he felt your hand sneak to the back of his neck, but smiled again into the kiss once he felt your lips connect to his. It took every bit of self control you had to pull away again and get off the car before.

“Friday then?” you said peeking your head through the open window of the car.

He nodded before adding: “And then we could go out? Have some dinner?”

“Sounds perfect.” You didn’t even try to hide the smile on your face.

“See you on friday then.”

“Goodbye Petey.” you said and he chuckled at how you had already started using the nickname his teammates had put him. He loved how it sounded coming from you.

“Goodbye Y/N.”

You turned around and started making your way to the building and Elias waited till you were in to drive away. You entered your apartment and let yourself fall on the couch, a loud chuckle scaping your lips just thinking about everything that had happened today. That bubbling feeling sill strong inside you, unable to take your mind off of the cute hockey player who couldn’t tell a nanny from a kidnapper.

i’ll tag those who asked for it and those who showed some interest on the fic (if i tagged and you didn’t just ignore this sorry)

taglist: @sorryjustafangirl @iwantahockeyhimbo @itshakiba @simpgirl-lat @mellany1997 @stlbluesbrat

also if you wanna be tagged whenever i post about petey or whenever i post a piece let me know!!

#elias pettersson #elias pettersson imagine #elias pettersson x reader #elias pettersson fic #canucks #canucks imagine #canucks fic #vancuver canucks #hockey #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine

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pokesplendor · 3 years

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carmela’s team from my pokemon shield playthrough! not as happy with this bunch... info beneath the cut!

Graves - Inteleon - she/he - lesbian White - cis woman - age 30

Graves came from a very unconventional background prior to entering into the League circuit. Having raised since she was young by Interpol for undercover operations, she was there and experienced things a child shouldn’t for the sake of ‘justice.’ Who’s justice is really to question in this situation, as she never had a say. It’s only once she reached legal age did she take a ‘vacation’ and decide to try the league. That’s where she re-encountered Ella, who she had met on the job in the Champion’s guard. She uses her combat skills she gained from her rigorous upbringing, which you’d think would cause her to dominate the field, but that isn’t the case. She’s actually fairly bad at it.

She has a bit of a problem interacting with others. She was trained in how to act natural, friendly, and unassuming, but she doesn’t know how to not act. What’s Graves’ personality? Well, she’s a crybaby whenever she’s alone. Little things upset her, her anxiety ramps up her paranoia, and she keeps it all saved beneath the surface until she’s alone and then she cries. Other than crying in her off time, she’s a voracious reader, and particularly likes poetry.

If Graves could ever be honest with herself, she’d admit she’s fallen for Ella quite hard. That bright ball of sunshine brought a smile to her face in a way she hadn’t experienced before. But she wasn’t able to voice her feelings, and Ella is now sadly taken. She’s also a poor leader, along with a poor battler, and she doesn’t garner much respect from her team. She’s often spoken over by Crusher.

Crusher - Sirfetch’d - she/her - lesbian White - cis woman - age 34

Crusher likes to think she’s a gallant, chivalrous knight that leaves women quaking with soaked undies are her arrival and her deep, rusty voice sends shivers up their spine when she announces herself, and she’d like to think that everyone wants her around, but she’s wrong. She butted her way into Graves’ team, seeing its lack of, well, many things, leadership, power, attractiveness… They obviously would benefit from her accompaniment. She didn’t care what they had to say, she was going to be on their team and they were going to worship her for what she brings to the table. She’d like to think she’s wanted, but honestly, not very much so.

As if it wasn’t evidence enough, Crusher is extremely up her own ass, overconfident, and unfortunately, with enough power to back up her words. She’s a demon on the field, knocking enemies out with a single sweep sometimes. She works out on the regular, and doesn’t wear armor to show off her many (sexy) battle scars. Otherwise, she’s into collecting antique tea sets and little glass kittens to display back home. Her house is full of them.

Crusher likes to think (man she likes to think a lot of things) that everyone on the team is slightly in love with her, when she is tolerated at best. Goliath likes her, but Goliath likes everyone. He spots for her when they’re working out together, and she respects him for his strength. She’s especially hard on Thrasher and Maverick for not pulling their weight until they evolved, citing them as a weakness.

Goliath - Grimmsnarl - he/they - gay Japanese - nonbinary - age 21

Goliath hails from the Glimmwood Tangle, from quite a large and loving family, but he got it in his head that he had to see the world beyond the forest clearing, he wanted to see where all the people braving its endless maze to reach the gym were about, he wanted to know! A regular yearning princess wishing to see what’s beyond her tower she’s been trapped in. And this is the family business Matilda had to leave her swamp for, bringing his ass home. She got there a little too late, however, already picked up by Graves’ group and registered into gym fights. He couldn’t leave! He made a promise to help! And look at his cool new friends.

When not spent daydreaming about adventures he could be having, he likes to keep in shape. His family home requires constant upkeep, lest the magical wood overgrows anything manmade within a few days. He likes to read, despite struggling with it due to his dyslexia, and he hopes to write his own book one day about what he’s experienced, he wants to have an adventure worth filling a book with. He’s a very positive lad, a happy one, who tries to share the happiness with those around him.

Goliath is still young, but he’s pretty sure about who he is as a person, he knows where he stands on morals, and her own identity as well. He’s chivalrous and kind, always trying to get the team to work together and get along. It has varying results. Grievous loves to mother him, and he likes to think he’s pals with Graves. Despite being younger, he tries to protect Thrasher and Maverick.

Blitz - Centiscorch - she/her - queer White - cis woman - age 33

Blitz, like Graves, was raised by Interpol for infiltration and undercover work. Unlike Graves, however, while the Inteleon was sanded down to being a weak, anxiety-ridden mess, it only strengthened Blitz’ nerves of steel, causing her to become cold and calculating. She only joined the League circuit because she had a mandated vacation following losing her leg from the knee down, and she didn’t want to get rusty on her skills. Not to mention she saw Graves attempting to lead and failing at it and thought she’d stick around to demean her for her lack of anything worthy of use for Interpol’s workings.

She doesn’t have many hobbies, she likes working out, staying fit, and occasionally cooking some ultra healthy superfood, but it’s not like cooking is her passion. She doesn’t understand why people think you need to have a life outside of your work, she’s perfectly happy to just always be on the job and do as it demands. She smokes, but only the occasional cigarette so as to not negatively affect her health. She’s a woman of few loves, few words, and she thinks that’s just fine.

Blitz scoffs when the team tries to have any sort of ‘get to know each other’ exercise. It’s never in good faith, and just ends in disaster so she tries to avoid it. Grevious tries to mother her on occasion, for whatever reason, she never had a mother and she doesn’t want one, so she doesn’t understand why her face gets flushed and hands get sweaty when the dragon’s around.

Maverick - Corviknight - she/her - lesbian White - trans woman - age 32

Maverick is a failed knight from olden times; she was sealed in a tomb in the slumbering weld with her previous king as a way to protect him in the next life, only to be revived by Graves and Ella exploring the area. Being awoken in modern times, she had a lot to learn and get used to, part of it being her king is no more. The body is gone, and the tomb ransacked. She failed, and this weighs heavy on her shoulders through the journey. She agreed to follow Graves, sensing a nobility to her, Ella already having Thomasin by her side while Graves had no one. She is skilled in battle, if not unsure of herself due to her failings during both in the past, and while she was asleep.

She holds herself to high standards, almost impossible for her to meet, but no one else. She does not expect others to keep up her strict training regime, it is for her alone to shoulder the burden of being known as a failure. Despite that statement, Crusher constantly challenges her, and they’re often sparring with one another. In her off time, she enjoys weaving and is learning the modern trades of ‘sewing’ and ‘crochet.’ She enjoys making clothes for herself and others.

Her strict lifestyle doesn’t give her many moments to herself or to consider her feelings for others. She dedicates herself to a cause and thinks of little else. However she enjoys Grevious’ company. She does notice the occasional stares from others, such as Thomasin from Ella’s team, and she wonders what it could mean. Does she resent her for not joining Ella? It seemed only fair at the time.

Grevious - Dragapult - she/her - bi Vietnamese - trans woman - age 45

The ghost of a test pilot that went down during a new dirigible’s trial run over Galar. Her body was never found, believed to be incinerated by the blast, and her spirit has hung on to the area as she never got a proper burial. Graves, hearing her plight, followed her to her remains, giving her the burial she deserved. Freed from her prison, she was free to pass on, but she denied doing so, she had to repay Graves for her service. And so, she was conscripted to the gym challenge, one she had seen many travelers pass by speaking of such a thing and she was always curious just what exactly it was. She had heard things of course, but nothing is better than first hand experience.

Grievous is a very noble person, but not too stuffy either. She loves a good joke, she loves puns, and she loves giving people a good fright with her ghostly status. It’s all in good fun, she’d never do anything malicious or something that would genuinely harm others! She loves to fly, she had always loved to fly, and dying didn’t exactly rob her of that love. Now she can do it without a plane! She spent so long as spirit, she kind of forgot what having hobbies is like, and she’s trying new things!

She’s a very motherly person, and, being the oldest of the group, feels very maternal towards all the young little ones around her. She’s particularly concerned for Graves and Blitz upon hearing around their upbringing. That’s no way to treat a child! She does her best to tend to the others of the group. Though she would be lying if she didn’t say that Crusher pushed her buttons more than once.

Thrasher - Obstagoon - they/them - lesbian Black - transmasc nonbinary - age 24

Thrasher comes from a foster home full of wayward kids who grew up on the downward spiral of life, and they themselves weren’t an exception. Originally from Spikemuth, they never knew their parents and their foster home travels were rough. No one seemed to want to keep them, and at one point they got sick of it and ran away from home. They ran and ran and never looked back, and found a job working in the professor’s lab in Postwick. They didn’t ask them where they were from, nor tried to contact anyone else, so it was good for them. They met Graves early into their gym circuit and decided to join her to perform some field work for the professor.

They’re quite down on themselves, never feeling like they’ll accomplish anything of worth. They couldn’t be a good child, they’re not a good battler, it took them a while to come into their own, and Crusher needling them constantly didn’t help. In their spare time, they play guitar and sing covers of existing songs. They don’t have a knack for writing, just another thing they fail at. It’s been a tough life, and they stumble along the way constantly trying to get to a better tomorrow.

Thrasher is a shy sort when it comes to their feelings, they haven’t been engendered into showing their vulnerable side to others. And Graves’ group isn’t exactly what you’d call family. But it’s a nice change of pace and they almost feel… wanted. And Grevious is a nice addition to their life. To have such a motherly person doting on them is, well, a dream come true.

#pokemon gijinka #pokemon humanization #inteleon #sirfetch'd #grimmsnarl #centiskorch #corviknight #dragapult #obstagoon #graves #crusher #goliath #blitz #maverick #grevious #thrasher

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kiirokero · 3 years

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Outro: Love is Not Over (5)

Pairing: Daycare Teacher! Hoseok x Single Mom! Reader.

Genre: Single Parent! AU, Teacher! AU, Hybrid! AU, Fluff, Angst, Adorable Kids,

Warnings: Oh boy, self doubt, A LOT of it. angsty, momma y/n isn’t doing too good, mentions of anxiety, allusions to worthlessness, just a lot of bad intrusive thoughts that are very degrading (and not in the smexy way)

Word Count: 1.1k

Note: I have a website that calculates my word count for stories, but it also tells me the most used word. 1.4% of this chapter is the word “Yunho” lol

Summary: Years after a relationship goes south. You are the single mother of a beautiful 6-year-old golden retriever hybrid who you named Yunho. He is the light of your life. Yunho is everything to you, and you’d do anything for him. But you’re a human. Yunho doesn’t care, he will tell you he doesn’t. “You’re still my Eomma. No matter what.” He says. But you can’t help but feel like you will never be enough for him. You can’t be the mother he deserves. You can’t show him the ropes of being a hybrid, and you can’t teach him things the other moms can. But you try. You try your damn hardest. So, when a handsome German Shepard hybrid comes into your life, helping you and guiding Yunho in a way you can’t, you can’t help the cozy home he sets up in your heart.

Chapter Guide:

Previous / Next (Coming Soon)

Tag List: @kurochan3 @mrcleanheichou @anonymous-armys-blog @alanasfashion @purelyecstacy Blogs highlighted in bold could not be tagged. Please message me privately so we can resolve the problem and I can tag you next time ^^

Being an adult was exhausting. Especially the part where you pretend that you're listening when the bank teller states you should’ve cashed in your paycheck 2 days ago to get a lesser fee. Thanks Pat, I’ll think of that next time I’m working my ass off and talking care of a six-year-old, lovely advice, you are so helpful.

But it was enough to distract me from the underlying inferiority I felt every time I saw a dog hybrid in passing, even if it was just for a bit. I understood that the trend today was short fur and undercuts, but what if their fur was short for a bigger reason? Was it just their style or was it practical? Is long fur bad for your health?

These questions never left my head as I got some time to myself. I was on my way to pick up Yunho from his little daycare adventure. Hyejin texted me occasionally throughout the day, giving me updates about how Yunho was doing. Every picture she sent had a smiling golden retriever boy who looked more than okay, perfectly happy and healthy.

However, it pained me that seeing him sport his long fur stirred up insecurity in me. It was like a taunt. Words playing in the back of my head, telling me I was an incapable mother, that Yunho deserved better, that when he grows up and sees these pictures, he’ll resent you.

Like the laughter of a jester, I was calling myself stupid, unworthy. Every single thing I’ve done imperfectly played in my head like a twisted movie from hell. Look, look, look. Look how incapable you are. Look how badly you're raising your son. Look at your failures.

Even if I turned on the radio, I could still hear my subconscious toying with me. Like a fly in a tarantula’s nest. Why has one person's observation affected me so much? A couple words and my resolve suddenly came crashing down? Maybe it was the one spark that needed to set off the explosion. All the TNT, lined up from previous nights consumed by irrational thoughts, now finally igniting. “You’re failing”

Rationally, I knew that wasn’t the case.

But it’s never that easy, is it?

“Eomma!”

“Hi, bub!” I giggled.

Yunho ran into my arms, tackling me onto the hard, concrete sidewalk. But I didn’t mind. Yunho squeezes me tight, scenting me with upmost enthusiasm, his tail whipping around rapidly. “I missed you,” Yunho sighed, fisting his hands into my shirt. “I missed you too baby,” I whispered, holding him just a tad bit closer, and I meant it.

No matter how bad I felt, I’d always be okay with him around.

“Did you have fun?” I asked. He nodded frantically, face painted with excitement. “Yes! I got to play with legos!” He raised his arms up, expressing just how much he loved playing with the legos. “You did? That’s awesome!” I gasped, kissing my son on the forehead.

I stood back up on my feet, taking Yunho in my arms to carry him back to the daycare. I still had to thank Hyejin, and no doubt was she still in the office, giving me a moment with Yunho. but to my surprise, it wasn’t Hyejin that let Yunho bolt out the door and tackle me to the ground. It was Hoseok.

He gave me a shy wave and smile as Yunho and I entered the front office. I gave him a genuine one back. I may be fighting with myself in my head, but it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know, so why be cold? “Hello Hoseok,” I said, and Yunho also gives him an excited wave.

“Hello Y/n, how was your day?” He asked, but his words were still tight, still cautious. “It was okay... Thank you for watching over Yunho for me, you and Hyejin both.” Hoseok seemed to light up a bit at my words as his smile grew wider. “It’s nothing really, Yunho is an amazing kid,” I felt my heart swell at those words, Yunho was definitely an amazing kid. I must’ve done something right. Right?

“Yeah, he is,” I teased the boy who blushed and hid his face in the crook of my neck. I cooed at his cuteness before Hoseok spoke up again. “I-I’m sorry for earlier, I really didn’t mean to upset you.” He curved into himself a bit.

His apology was sincere, I knew that. From what Hyejin had told me and from what I observed, Hoseok was a good guy. He didn’t know the impact his words had, besides; it was my problem anyway. Why burden someone else?

“I’d like to take you for a coffee sometime, as an apology” Hoseok added on after I didn’t say anything for a minute or two. I chuckled, “That sounds nice, but you don’t have to. It’s okay, really,” but Hoseok shook his head, insisting that this was the way to apologize for something that obviously struck a deep nerve.

“Alright, I give in. Do you have a date in mind?” I asked.

“Ah... I didn’t get that far... Here, I’ll give you my number so I can text you!” Hoseok exclaimed, having an eureka moment.

“Smooth, Hoseok, very smooth.” I giggled.

“Wha? Oh no! I didn’t- I mean...” Hoseok stuttered on, a flush of pink on his face. “I’m joking,” I smiled. Hoseok sighed in relief, chuckling to himself. “Here you go,” Hoseok handed me his phone, and I entered my number in his contacts with one hand, expertly. People don’t mention that one of the mom powers is being able to do things one handed.

“I’ll text you as soon as I can,” Hoseok promised. “I’ll be waiting,” I said, forgetting all about my worries and fears for a moment. The air felt calm, my brain relaxed, it was easier to breathe. I was thankful for that, even if the moment was short.

Yunho looked out the car window at the trees that lined the road. He was swinging his feet back and forth. The ears on the top of his head twitched a bit every time a new song started on the radio. The sun hit his face like a Picasso painting that screamed innocence. A portrait that slipped off the canvas, given to me, even if I wasn’t deserving of such beauty.

“Hey bub?” I called, glancing in the rear-view mirror to look at my son. “Yea?” He answered back, looking towards me even if he couldn’t look at my face. “Are your ears and tail okay?”

“Yep!”

“Your fur doesn’t bother you?”

“Nope!”

“Are you sure? We can cut it if it’s bothering you,”

“I don’t wanna cut it!”

Yunho doesn’t lie. He can’t. He always gives himself away by either avoiding my gaze or mumbling to himself. But he was confident in those words. That helped. “Okay bub, I love you.”

“I love you too Eomma,”

#bts #bts fic #hoseok #jung hoseok #jhope #hobi #bts hoseok #jhope x reader #hoseok x reader #bts hybrid au #hybrid #hoseok fic #jhope fic

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bookofmirth · 3 years

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I really do believe that Elucien and Gwynriel will be endgame just from a logical perspective. We know there are two more books in the series (excluding novellas), and SJM has said that there will be a book from Elain’s perspective. The other book must be about Azriel because he’s the only “main character” left from the inner circle (excluding Mor and Amren, but I really think Amren’s story is done and as much as I would love it, I doubt SJM would write an entire wlw romance book for Mor). If the next book really is Elriel, that would mean the last book would be from Lucien or Gwyn’s perspective and tbh, I don’t think they can carry a whole book on their own with a new love interest. So that leaves Gwynriel and Elucien.

My only issue with this is - even though I am Elucien shipper - I don’t see how their romance could be written without retconning or some random event that pushes the two together. I feel like SJM kinda backed herself into a corner with the timeline, because it’s been 2 - 3 years since they’ve discovered they were mates and almost nothing has been done about it. We can see Elain growing a bit more comfortable around Lucien and I definitely don’t think she hates him by acosf, but their mating bond still hasn’t been acknowledged. She hasn’t rejected or accepted him - either romantically or platonically.

To remedy their relationship, maybe we would get to see more interactions between Lucien and Elain in their book prior to acosf (through flashbacks or if the book just starts at an earlier time). But even if this retconning is done, I think it would feel inconsistent with how the two are presented in acofas and acosf - especially with the Azriel bonus chapter. Because Elain still seems pretty indifferent to Lucien. The only other way I could think of the two coming together would be a random major event that forces them to interact and get to know each other better, sparking a romance. Because if Elain hasn’t taken any action towards Lucien in three years, I don’t see why she would - out of the blue - without some external reason.

Sorry this is long, I hope it makes sense! What are your thoughts? How do you think an Elucien romance would play out?

See, I don't think that there will need to be any retconning, or any going back in time (especially since sjm doesn't typically do that. She writes very linearly except for brief flashbacks like to when Aelin was a child. Or Rhys during the war, for some random ass reason, in acowar.)

I wouldn't say that Elain is indifferent towards Lucien. Otherwise, she would be able to converse with him as if he were anyone else. Instead, I think she is very, very conflicted.

The way that I see it, Lucien and Elain have had a lot of feelings - positive and negative - towards each other, brewing this whole time. They haven't talked about those feelings, or what to do with them. It's a perfect recipe for a blowup. There is a ton of tension between them, 2-3 years worth of things left unsaid and arguments and conversations they only had with each other in their heads.

The issue of even striking up a platonic conversation (if that's a thing?) is that they can't really do that. They talk, and the mating bond is there. They look at each other, and the mating bond is there. They sneeze, the mating bond is there. It's a lot of pressure, and that might prevent them from talking things out.

Imagine Elain and Lucien both knowing that once they finally talk to each other and get to know each other, it could change the rest of their lives. That's a huge pressure and no wonder they are avoiding it. (Well, he is. She has her own, more personal reasons for doing so.)

There could definitely be a plot thing that brings them together. Maybe it could be related to Autumn, or Spring? Elain seems ready to get out of Dodge. Maybe... something could happen with the fourth Dread Trove object, putting Elain in danger? Or, I know that a lot of people think that Elain will make a major mistake later on, in her attempts to become human or prove her autonomy. Perhaps someone could sit Elain down, Feyre probably, and ask what her intentions are?

There are lots of ways that they could end up together, either by forced proximity or because one (or both) of them can't take the tension and uncertainty anymore. I'm kinda glad that we don't know that yet.

However it happens, I think that when Elain and Lucien finally do talk, it's going to be angry and resentful. Why? Because they have those 2+ years of pent-up emotion and lack of communication and imaginary conversations. (This is my headcanon I guess, just because when I have something unresolved with someone I have conversations with that person in my head A LOT.) They will say all the things they've been wanting to say and will likely surprise each other. They probably have an idea of what the other person is like, and that perception will be challenged when they actually engage.

It's going to be great, tbh. Imagine the "well I feel this way," and the "did you even consider what I felt?" and the "Oh yes because it's all about you," and the "well I tried," "WHEN?" and then "do you think I wanted this?" "well I certainly didn't". "And when you thought about Jesminda..." "well you were thinking about Graysen" "I was in love" and then "well so was I". Finally they exhaust themselves and get everything out that they have been wanting to say. Then they collapse dramatically into their comfortable yet stylish armchairs.

And then maybe "so what now??" Then they take a break and take a sip of tea and feel so much relief that all of that is off their chests, and they realize that they have actually been experiencing a lot of the same emotions (fear, hope, resentment, curiosity, anxiety) and hadn't ever considered that the other was feeling the same way. And they realize that now they can move forward, and now they don't have anything to hide.

Also, feysand and nessian have made bargains pre-relationship, so I would be highly surprised if elucien doesn't make one as well. Maybe they already have. That could be a good way of tying them together, even if the bargain itself serves to drive them apart temporarily (as nessian's bargain did).

Wow this got long sorry!

#elucien #acosf #acotar #ugh the banter though #ask #anon

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jitterbugjive · 3 years

Text

Something I wish more people would understand is how unhealthy and misguided I was in my early 20s. I came out of a life of mental and sexual abuse, for a bit I had a much older boyfriend than me that I didn’t realize until fairly recently was grooming me since I was 14. I was a hyper sexual teenager due to the exposure I had in childhood and I sought people out constantly to ERP with, even adults, without really thinking anything was wrong with that. I had an old friend who started running away from home to look for random adult men to sleep with so my understanding and feelings towards that kind of situation got all twisted and confused and I didn’t know how to help my friend. I had another friend who was pulled in to a 3 way by another minor and an adult, and the other minor was also the sort who actively looked for adult men who would be sick enough to sleep with her. And my best friend had a sister who was also exhibiting this behavior despite my friends’ many protests, because their mom didn’t give a single fuck about anything. I had an older babysitter, by older I mean in his 60s, who would bring up conversations about sex with me and show me porn on TV from when I was 10-13. I was dealing with unchecked PTSD which made me overly reactive, prone to fits of anger and anxiety.

My point is, back then I didn’t have any kind of professional help or anywhere I could go for answers on things I didn’t understand or had a limited understanding of. When I ask the question ‘what do you do if a kid is seeking out adult sexual attention’ it’s not because I’m trying to blame kids for this, it’s because it scares me when kids are unknowingly, maybe even knowingly, exposing themselves to danger for whatever screwed up reason they may have. And no one wants to talk about that kind of situation, so I couldn’t find any answers. I couldn’t find an appropriate way to process my feelings on the matter, my understanding of it, the way I viewed it, I couldn’t find what the correct way to feel or deal with it was. Again, because no one wants to talk about it. With my naivety and personal experience, I at first held resentment towards kids like that, because I remember being put in danger because of them or they put my friends in danger, and those kids seemed very sure of their choices even when they were perfectly aware it was wrong. One of them I knew, even as an adult, didn’t ever think anything was wrong with what they did, they didn’t come with that regret you hear most people talking about. I regret the way I’ve reacted to these situations and I regret the way I phrased things when I was trying to come to terms with this issue that I’d been honestly traumatized by.

Another thing I didn’t understand in my early 20s was appropriate boundaries, because I wasn’t given appropriate boundaries as a kid I only knew one big basic thing: Don’t do anything sexually explicit with minors.

And when it came to RP, I thought that meant PG13 content was okay. I thought if there was a fade to black, or a time skip, or an implication, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Now, there are literally only 2 instances I can think of where there was any sort of implication of sexual acts between characters with a minor, I still made sure nothing explicit was shown or explored and I was of the impression that I was just letting the other person have fun because that’s what they were in to. And that was a mistake. Not as big of a mistake as it could have been, mind you, but I’d never cross that line. I thought I had a good line drawn in the sand but I didn’t really understand where it was supposed to be. Because if we’re gonna be honest here, looking back I know now even romantic fluff RP between an adult and a minor isn’t okay, even if it’s through characters and not as ourselves.

I know now how much of an emotional impact RP can have on a person, considering most of my romantic relationships started with RP. When you have a character you deeply connect to interacting with someone else’s character, it’s really easy to start mistaking your character’s feelings for your own. You could believe because your characters get along so well that maybe the two of you can get along romantically too. I’m not saying that RP shouldn’t lead to romance, but that it can easily blind a person from how their RP partner really is. So it’s dangerous to RP with kids like this. I should know, my abusive ex that groomed me until I turned 18 in order to date me certainly had me convinced we were meant for each other just because our characters clicked and my character happened to be a representation of myself.

Something I’m really ashamed to admit as well is a serious misjudgement on my part, where for some reason I assumed bodily fluids weren’t NSFW. Probably because I’ve seen people get away with censoring out naughty bits but leaving the spunk in an image, or just drawing the character with spunk on them or something. Point is, people were getting away with it not being flagged as porn, and my dumb brain was like ‘okay so it’s not that bad’. I need to make something clear here, I don’t entirely remember what happened or why it happened, but it’s true that Bedeviled Derpy had a post that showed spunk in 2 of the images and it was drawn from some sketches of mine by a teenager. I don’t believe I would have requested such a thing, I certainly didn’t script it to say ‘draw spunk here’, in fact the sketches don’t show any indication of a mess anywhere. I just remember being given the finished images with the spunk being added, and I was dumb enough to think “oh yeah this is totally okay for a SFW blog” and my brain didn’t even register like ‘hello yes a child drew this maybe ask them to remove the spunk also spunk isn’t sfw or child friendly in any way shape or form’

Some people, maybe only a handful, or more, I don’t know, but some people have this assumption that my mindset in all of this was like “Hahaha I’m taking advantage of a minor” and that’s just... not it?

I’m a colossal dumbass, I admit that, and I was really irresponsible, but it was NOT because I had any intentions on preying on a child. I just don’t do that.

The things I said and did, I did out of ignorance, and most of the bad stuff people talk about me saying was from 5+ years ago, before I got any help, before I had anyone to walk me through these incredibly complex emotions and opinions that were ingrained in my head since childhood.

I just wish that people could see I had no malice or ill intent, I wish people could realize they’re way overthinking my actions and taking things a lot more personally than they were ever meant to be. Maybe if they could see this for what it is rather than assuming I’m a villain who purposefully did everything wrong, they could learn to move on in a healthy way.

I understand I did a lot of harm and there’s no undoing that.

But I do NOT deserve to be accused of pedophilia. Pedophilia has literally ruined my life and my perception of the world. I’m a victim too, and just because I became an adult doesn’t mean I suddenly know right from wrong. That’s not how becoming an adult works. You’re allowed to make mistakes as an adult, being an adult doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes any more. Yes it’s easier to say to someone ‘you were just a kid, it was a mistake, you didn’t know any better’, but adults have a hard time knowing ‘any better’ too. We’re always growing and learning and I’d like to think people are smart enough to see that I have grown in to a better person.

I hope people can find it in their hearts to forgive me, but I fear some people are too far gone down the rabbit hole of being convinced that everything was on purpose and from malice, that I’m some evil mastermind who thrives on manipulation and taking advantage of kids. I’ve only ever associated with 2 minors since becoming an adult and I have no intention of associating with any more that aren’t directly connected to my family or my friends.

Anyone who actually knows me would know I have a 0 tolerance for IRL pedophilia, when I found out a member of one of my groups was showing nudes to minors he was immediately kicked out and I kept tabs on the situation to make sure he’d be caught by police. When a member in my server was exposed for ERP and orbiting with a minor, I kicked him out too.

I worry about kids to a point that it’s part of my PTSD, I have anxiety attacks just worrying about how a kid might be getting harmed, the last thing I want to do is bring harm to them.

And I did cause harm, I didn’t know that was what I was doing, but I did, because I wasn’t mature enough to understand how to interact with kids as an adult. And again, I’m just incredibly sorry things had to even come to this. I’m not lying when I say I think about this every single day, and sometimes spiral in to really bad anxiety because of it. It affects me heavily.

I want to move on.

And I want the people affected to move on too.

Because dwelling on this isn’t going to do anyone any good.

#apology #important

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ilikekidsshows · 3 years

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Hi! I really loves your analysis for ml series. Do you mind if I asked your opinion about the conflict in Reflekdoll? Thanks!

Thanks for the support, mate! Now, this probably won't be as articulated as the stuff I wrote about the New York Special, since I'd had a chance to discuss the special with a lot of people before I wrote that conflict analysis, while this episode was way back before I started actively discussing interpretations with people.

The first thing I should say about 'Reflekdoll' is that it's a weird episode. It's the quintessential "and nobody learned anything!" episode. Unless you look at it as a prequel to the New York Special. See, the weird thing about the conflict in 'Reflekdoll' is that the characters' reactions have nothing to do with what the theme of the episode is. The theme of the episode is "walk a mile in each other's shoes", while the characters' takeaway is that they're too fundamentally different to actually do that. We see this in how they end up back into their usual roles when they can't figure out how to work their different powers to their advantage. Reflekdoll is ultimately defeated by Marinette taking over the planning and Adrien playing second fiddle. The argument at the start of the episode is pretty standard teen pettiness, so we don’t need to really address that, but I’ll say that Marinette’s tenseness in this episode foreshadowed her eventual breakdown in ‘Miracle Queen’ pretty well, though. The point on the conflict is really how it ends, since it actually ends resolved in the most frustrating way possible, the “agree to disagree” one, when the viewers know further understanding was possible and necessary.

Marinette says: "everyone has their purpose" after spending the entire episode acting just like Cat Noir, but misunderstanding the reason to just be that he doesn't have the same responsibility as Ladybug. She even comments on how the suit is much lighter on shoulders. However, she ironically actually gets to do the same things as Cat Noir for the same reasons, but oversimplifies it into "he's goofy because he has no responsibilities". She herself acknowledges that being Lady Noire gave her a break from the burden of Ladybugging with her line about the costume being lighter on the shoulders, and she spent the entire first half of the fight getting back at Cat Noir for all the jokes on her expense he made at the start of the episode. Being Cat Noir, to Adrien, frees him from the burden of being Adrien Agreste and gives him a chance to speak up and not be silenced, unlike how he constantly gets shut down at home when trying to have the simplest conversation with his father.

Cat Noir and Lady Noire are the same, but because Marinette lacks vital information about what Cat's homelife is like, she never realizes this. Instead she thinks Cat Noir is someone who is never too bothered by anything and is always just "Cat Noir". We see this perception of Cat Noir's Cat Noir-ness in how she treats him the exact same as Mister Bug, immediately starting to order him around like she was still the one with the power that directs the way the battle goes. I've started saying Marinette considers Cat Noir more fae than human and this episode really emphasizes it with how she thinks Cat Noir will and should always be functionally Cat Noir, despite how he, by all rights, should have been the one calling the shots and playing a different role in this fight.

As for Adrien, well, I pointed out while watching 'Gamer' that Adrien might have a habit of putting himself down in favor of a really talented teammate with pigtails, and the New York Special confirmed it with how Adrien says Laybug was "perfect, as always" after a fight where she'd been distracted for the entire duration of it, and only managed to turn it into not a total loss with the Miracle Cure. Adrien feels inadequate compared to Ladybug, and the root of it seems to be in her power to heal and fix. It's very symbolic, considering he's a child from a broken, unhealthy home, and this episode seemed to actually exacerbate the problem. Adrien finishes the episode by saying: "I'm not cut out to be Ladybug, that's for sure". Because he never got a chance to figure out how to best use the Ladybug powers to his advantage, he decided that there was just something fundamentally "wrong" about himself. Considering his father's treatment of him, Adrien internalizing any issues he has as a fault in himself is not only unsurprising but expected.

On a side note, the interesting thing about this internalization of difficulties as personal faults is something Marinette also does because of her anxiety. We saw in 'Sandboy' that, despite Cat Noir being the most supportive partner ever, she worries that Cat Noir's nightmare symbolizes some type of resentment he holds towards her. She played off asking about it as a joke, but they were about to transform back and she still took the time to stop him with that question. Marinette is very worried, constantly worried even, over how the people around her perceive her. That's why Cat Noir's comments about her lacking a sense of humor got her into such a tizzy for a great deal of the episode. She's scared some friendly ribbing actually means the other person dislikes her for that part of her that is the butt of a joke. This is probably also why she insists Adrien is "perfect" at any chance she gets; she's convinced that if she truly loves Adrien, she'd never find any fault in him, or even fond annoyance.

So yeah, 'Reflekdoll' is why 'New York Special' happens. Marinette seeing Cat Noir as an untouchable fae of happiness and zero hardship, it's worsened by 'Reflekdoll'. Adrien seeing only his own mistakes as ones that matter because he's just less worthy than Ladybug, it's worsened by 'Reflekdoll'.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #reflekdoll #dats chats #ml meta #long post #popular

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the-volume-is-astronomical · 3 years

Text

The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay

The Tower

A/N: mi gente im just trying something out and seeing if people like it :] ive had this done for like months and months on end and i finally decided to share it so em enjoy

First | Previous| Next

words: 2380

summary: Roman’s stomach is making it very clear that this talk wasn’t going to end well... as long as he doesn’t end up in that tower.

pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit

warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, disappearance mention, flashback, crying

(let me know if theres any other)

Roman felt himself waking up, maybe because of the stupidly bright sun hitting his eyes, he didn’t know how that was possible since he remembered closing the red velvet curtains shut tight, so he didn't have this exact issue. So, when he heard some ruffling and things being moved around he wasn’t all that surprised.

¨Rise and shine, you little brat¨ Ruth said in a very tired but demanding voice.

¨Oh dear nurse, allow me five more minutes¨ Roman whined putting a pillow over his eyes so he could block out the rude sun.

¨Oh, flattery will get you nowhere, mister.¨ Roman could hear Ruth moving around the room, preparing breakfast no doubt. Roman took the pillow off his face and sat up, hair a wreck, and his eyes squinting because of the light coming from the window.

¨And he finally rises,¨ Ruth said sarcastically.

¨Yeah, yeah, the dashing prince has awoken.¨ Roman said half asleep. Ruth helped him sit down so he didn’t trip over anything and started serving him breakfast, she wasn’t going to wait for him to finish eating as she was already heading for the big oak doors.

¨Wait!¨ Roman sobered up, Ruth flinched a little at the shout but turned around anyway ¨Can I do anything for you?¨ She asked.

¨ Come eat with me, you for sure haven’t eaten anything today.¨ Ruth went to argue but closed her mouth when she noticed she, in fact, had not eaten.

She sat down in the chair in front of the royal, Roman made a few hand gestures as if to show she was open to take anything, she knew the monarch wouldn’t eat until she had settled for something so, she took a piece of bread and started eating, as did he.

After a few moments of silent eating Ruth spoke up ¨I still don't understand, after all these years you haven’t become a spoiled brat that doesn't care for his servant¨ Roman didn't even look up at her he just said ¨I guess you raised me well.¨ Ruth almost choked on her bread and looked at Roman as if he had gone insane. “Oh come on don't be so humble Ruthie!¨

She still looked at him confused and a little annoyed at the nickname but mostly surprised he would say anything of the sort, ¨Ruth, you are my nurse. You have been with me my entire life, You fed me when I was a baby for god sake! I consider you a mother, even if I have another mother in the throne room right now,” Roman shivered at the thought of having to talk to his parents after the events of the past week but continued anyway “and I sure as hell think of you as the person who raised me.¨

Once he had finished he immediately put a mouth full of food and kept eating as if hadn’t given that speech. Ruth still looked shocked but cleared her throat ¨Well, then I made you a sap!¨ Roman started laughing ¨How will your future spouse ever forgive me?¨ Roman burst out laughing and Ruth gave a small chuckle.

Ruth stood up and went to Roman's closet to gather his outfit for the day, while he finished breakfast. She threw the clothes at him “Hey!¨ Roman made his trademark over dramatic gasp. She sighed “I unfortunately also gave you my dramatics…”

“And I don’t resent you for that!” Roman screamed back with a big smile on his face.

Ruth looked like she had something on her mind. Roman didn’t have to wait much before she said what that was, he never did. ¨Would that make you and my Remy brothers?¨ she said, actively ignoring the prince’s comments. Roman stood up going towards his shoji screen to change behind. ¨Ha! We already consider each other brothers so it wouldn’t be much of a change.¨ Ruth started making his bed “Well this is new information to me.¨ Roman giggled a bit

¨Remy´s supposed to be back by noon, he passed a lot of territories to deliver this message so I sure hope he’s alright¨ Roman has always thought she was a worried mother even to him when he went on long trips.

Roman stepped out from behind the screen and reassured her ¨ He’s fine! He may act reckless but he's very calculating… but expect him a few hours later than what the estimated time of return” Roman slipped away looking for his shoes. ¨Oh and why is that?¨ she asked, hands on her hips, Roman gave a nervous chuckle.

Shouldn't have let that slip.

“Roman…” Ruth said in a warning tone. Remy was going to kill him but he didn’t want to die at his nurse’s hands “Remy’s been... seeing... this person a-and when his message trip aligns with where they live… he spends some time with the person so…” Ruth looked at him as if deciding something, “As Remy’s mother, I thank you for telling me the truth..” Roman was relieved “But, as your mother, I have to say…YOU SNITCH! Snitches get stitches for a reason!” Roman laughed genuinely and Ruth joined.

After their giggle fit, they heard someone knock on the door. Ruth went to answer the door, it was a guard “His and her highness request the prince’s presence,” Ruth thanked the guard and turned around and Roman looked mortified, “Roman, you have to talk to them.” Roman had never heard Ruth speak that soft. Roman only felt dread “Ruth I don't want to go” He was genuinely petrified.

“I understand, but they are very understanding and I believe they wouldn't punish you for simply trusting the wrong person” Roman shook his head “ They’re already so protective. They always had me under knight or guard surveillance but now they might do something so I won’t be able to sneak by” Roman was panicking and Ruth noticed, she walked up to him. And took his hand “Roman they just want the best for you…” Roman took his hand away from her own “No! They are just afraid they aren’t going to have an heir after one of them ran away.” Roman's hands were in his hair and his eyes started to glaze over.

Roman was very much not over his brother's apparent “disappearance”

“I understand Remus vanishing has affected your parents over protectiveness, BUT they have always aimed to protect you but after what happened...can you really blame them for it?” Roman sighed, Ruth forced his hands out of his hair, he took a shaky breath to calm down “No, but getting hurt is part of life! So what if I trusted the wrong person? Everyone does!” He gestured to the sky as if it was the only person listening, he felt so defeated.

“Well I can't change anything so, you should tell your parents that!” She didn’t know what to say to make things better. “I’ll try, let’s just hope they at least try to listen” he left it there and headed out of his bedroom’s oak doors, he never liked disagreeing with Ruth.

Roman walked down the long hallway towards the throne room but, of course, he wasn’t alone because that would be too much to ask apparently. Instead he was being escorted to see his parents by the guard that had informed him his parents required him. He already knew what they were going to talk to him about and he was dreading it.

Why did he have to make such a mistake?

Did the universe want him to not trust anyone after what happened?! If it would make the sinking feeling in his stomach leave then he would happily oblige.

The guard stopped at the throne rooms doors and Roman took a deep breath as the guard gave him side eye glance and opened the doors, “You required my presence?” Roman spoke trying to keep his voice steady and his head high, “Yes, Roman, we would actually like to talk to you about last week's event…?” He phrased it as a question a little too late. Roman’s father, King Leonardo, wasn’t an emotionally driven person and never was truly soft with anything he said, but he cared. The way he was soft spoken with Roman was just having the opposite effect that his father wanted.

Roman’s mother, Queen Victoria, was very comforting and always tried to shield her children from harm's way, but coming from a family of royals, she didn't have an example to follow but she wanted to be there for her child. “Roman, my little lion heart, I need you to keep in mind this is for your safety...ok?” Following everything by the book, always looking and being her best, so she would be a good example even if she wasn't nurturing, all she wished was for Roman to know she loved him and Remus with her whole being, Roman just gave her a tense nod as a response.

Roman’s Father spoke up, “Roman, you're going to be under knight supervision at all times,” That wasn't as bad as Roman expected, he basically already was! Anything but to be stuck in that damn tower “...And you have to stay in the south tower-” ...He should have knocked on wood.

“Father, I did nothing wrong! I shouldn't be punished for this-” Romans mother spoke up, she knew both her son and husband could be hot headed. She wanted to stop anything before it got the chance to begin “Roman this isn't to punish you! We want to protect you-” The Queen sounded like she was pleading with her son.

Roman did not hear her plea or just ignored it “...For how long do I have to stay there?” Roman’s mother spoke up, “Don't worry, you'll be there maximum 2-”

“Indefinitely.”

The King spoke in a cold unforgiving tone, Roman knew he had messed up big time. Victoria turned to her husband “Leo, we agreed he wouldn't be there for more than 2 fortnights, we agreed on that.” The Queen seemed upset but was obviously attempting not to show such emotion.

“Those were the rules we agreed to when he was a child and he would grant being punished” Both of Roman’s parents were staring at each other, showing they weren't going to back down.

Roman spoke, “Understood.” His voice was mostly monotone but tight, Victoria turned to him with an apologetic gaze. Roman shook his head. It was his own fault, his mother shouldn't blame herself for his actions.

“I'll tell Ruth, so we can pack.” Roman turned to leave but his father had more to say. “Before you go, Hugo won't be your assigned knight. One of the new recruits is climbing in status and popularity very quickly and he agreed to-” “babysit” Roman cut in. “-protect you. As long as I recommended him to Queen Marie for her armada”

As if things couldn't get any better, he had to meet this new recruit, he hoped they would at least get along. Roman just nodded and opened the door to leave. At that moment, Roman’s father called the guard that had escorted Roman to get the new recruit as soon as possible, he just left as quickly as he could.

His parents knew that not being around people and not being able to talk were some of the worse things that could happen to him. They decided it was going to be the way to punish him. Though, he never stayed for more than a month, now he understood why.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Roman- basically power walked- back to his room, his brain tortured him with memories of his 7 year old self being forced onto the tower for the first time.

No! Please it was an accident-!

I won't do it again!

I won't- Please!

That was all he said as his father signaled the guards to take him, his mother not being able to look, turned her head away, trying to ignore every motherly instinct in her body to stand up and comfort her child.

The guards dragged him out of the castle- the only home he knew- and shoved him in a carriage, where Ruth was waiting for him. Ruth had always been happy around him but her expression was unreadable -looking back she seemed angry, he just hadn't seen her that way before- but, Roman didn't care. He threw himself onto Ruth and sobbed his tiny heart out, Ruth trying her best to calm him down, he eventually fell asleep. Three hours later, he was woken up by Ruth.

“Were here, principito”

Roman was scared. Ruth saw it in his eyes.

“Come on! You offend me, you really think I would let them take you to a scary place?”

The little royal could only muster a small “no”. Ruth took his hand and walked with him toward a tower. Roman thought it was beautiful, that's the day he figured beautiful things can hurt you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roman never got used to it. He always dreaded the ride there, all the build up to the feeling of nothingness. When he looked up at the tower, he got the same feeling that he did when he was 7, Roman learned to not look up. He’d always prefer being in the tower when he was a kid because, back then they allowed Ruth to stay behind with him. Now she would only go in the carriage with him and leave.

After they stopped allowing Ruth to stay with him, at least he had Hugo to bother, by asking him for stories of his adventures. He didn't have that anymore.

The only adventure story he had now was a vibrant red book, in the book shelf of the tower, the only fictional book in his whole collection. He will admit, it was a very smart move on his parent’s part. They always monitored what he read, filled his whole book shelf in the tower with Philosophy, Math, and Royalty etiquette. When he begged for weeks on end for an adventure book they granted him one but, they made sure it was the only book that was fictional. They wouldn't give him an adventure book based on real events, No! That would be giving Roman too much hope.

Good move.

#roman sanders #roman angst #sanders sides roman #ts roman #prinxiety #ts prinxiety #future prinxiety #sanders sides #ts princey

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vivithefolle · 3 years

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Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

#vivi answers #ask #ron weasley #hermione granger #romione #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #sexism #classism #hp meta #fandumb #hp fandom

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swimfuel · 3 years

Text

okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

#humanstuck #vantas family #.

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tigerdrop · 3 years

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Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

#asky #careposting

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thefossilwhale · 3 years

Text

i filled out this super cool button character profile by @extraordinarymage for sabrina! thank you for making this, it was a lot of fun to fill out <3 the bulk of it is under a cut and oh boy is it long !!!

Short, Quick Reference

Name: Sabrina Wiseman

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Love Interest: Kent

Main personality trait: Confidence

Secondary personality trait: Morbidity

Relationship with Nick: Full of love, haunted by unaddressed guilt and frustration. But mostly full of love.

Nickname for Nick: Saint Nick (used sparingly)

Resentful or accepting?: Slightly resentful

Main strategy (interpersonal, insightful, innovative?): Insightful

Ethical or expedient?: Expedient

GENERAL

Name: Sabrina Larkspur Wiseman

Nickname(s): Sab, used by anyone; Sabby, only Nick and Sally; and, of course, Button for Nick.

Birthday: I think I made her an October Libra for the purpose of a template I did months ago, but I’m not sure! No concrete birthday yet, I’m always very slow to nail down details like this.

Age: 20

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Hair color + style: Blonde. A little past shoulder length, sometimes wavy. Usually a middle part. For Aeon, tied back in a bun.

Eye color: Blue, entirely because of the section of Frank O’Hara’s “Meditations in an Emergency” that goes, “My eyes are vague blue, like the sky...”

Height: 5′5

Piercings: Multiple in each ear, but a couple have started to close.

Tattoos: None yet! Sab likes the idea of a tattoo but is worried about finding the perfect design, whether she’d end up hating it, that the pain might be greater than she expects and she’ll look like a baby in front of her tattoo artist. I’d like to think she eventually consults Sally and/or Glitch to come up with an idea that she falls in love with, but I haven’t come up with what that would be!

Clothing style: Mostly solid colors, not a lot of patterns. Nothing super bright, but a fairly varied mix of pastels, neutrals, dark colors, black. Partial to denim skirts and sweater tops. Ankle boots. Likes a good turtleneck. She’s bolder when it comes to formal wear, and especially loves suits. Big fan of silk and satin.

Since she has a pretty accurate face claim, I’ll link some gifsets I’ve rb’d for appearance ref if you are so inclined.

STATS

I’m always adjusting minor things and swapping scenes around, but these are from my most recent Sab run! Most scores hover somewhere around these values.

Personality:

Confidence: 53%

Humor: 5%

Morbidity: 22%

Resentful: 57% | Accepting: 43%

Strategy:

Interpersonal: 12%

Insightful: 50%

Innovative: 10%

Ethical: 43% | Expedient: 57%

KEY DECISIONS:

What is Nick’s nickname and why?: Saint Nick, used very rarely. It’s a joking reference to the time she thought Santa was an evil Ment out to ruin Christmas, and a point about Nick overdoing it with the cheer. “Saint Nick” is usually code for “I know you mean well, but please mind your own business.” Otherwise, she just calls him Nick.

What is their favorite type of cookie (and its name and why?): Salted caramel chocolate chip! No special name.

What was their initial reaction to Sally hugging them, as kids?: She just froze. That could just be me projecting adult Sabrina onto her childhood self; I don’t imagine that she was as uncomfortable around strangers or quite as cautious back then. But that’s what I’ll stick with.

How did they ace the ASE test?: The in-game option she takes is “My entire life has revolved around strategic avoidance,” but the one about being just plain smart also sounds like her. If Sab has the chance to thoroughly (over)prepare for something, she will do it. Her mind blindness also has her constantly (over)analyzing situations. So, hard work and relentless anxiety!

Did they manage to win their first assignment? How?: Yes, by having Sally block the door. I’ve headcanoned some slight differences in how it plays out, which I wrote about in-depth here. To summarize, Sab thinks of blocking the door as a desperate last resort, not a clever loophole, and she pushes back against Rosy’s praise because she wishes she could have done it the “real” way. Rosy goes from being impressed to being annoyed that she’s willfully missing the point.

What was the primary emotion Button felt during the Aeon bombing (love, gratitude, etc?): Guilt. She feels very guilty about how much Nick has given up for her in general, but I think that in the moment, it’s on a smaller scale. The fact that Nick was on the phone with her when it happened, coming to her rescue like always, becomes emblematic of their whole relationship for her, and she really fixates on that.

Who drove them home from the hospital from and why?: Glitch. Sab responds to her initial text with “Are you sure?”, and is relieved when Glitch takes that as “Yes, please.” She doesn’t relish the idea of being around someone more connected to her family or Nick at that point.

How do they feel about Nick riding around in their mind?: Worried, at first. Just because it’s so unknown and absolutely insane. After seeing Doctor Amari, she’s excited! Sab is thrilled to be a Pollard Five and intends to take full advantage of it. I am not looking forward to seeing how she reacts when that’s taken away from her.

Why did Button agree to do the undercover mission?: To prove she still deserves to be an MIV. Sabrina feels stupid and reckless for putting herself, Nick, and Aeon in this position, but she knows she’s smart, and she hasn’t worked this hard for nothing. She wants to prove what she could do with a normal Pollard Score and make herself too valuable to give up even when she’s back to Zero.

Told Glitch about your mind blindness?: Depends on the playthrough. I’m constantly going back and forth on whether Sab meets Glitch for coffee or wanders the city with Nick in her second chapter 5 slot (after trying to track down Kent). If she does meet Glitch, though, she absolutely tells her; with how touchy Sab is about privacy, she couldn’t stomach not warning Glitch that Nick could hear everything they said.

Figured out K’s secret?: Nope. She finds enough of the clues to be given the “I knew it!” option in-game, but she didn’t actually put it together. Sab is too angry and embarrassed by learning that Kent is an AMO to find any reason to interrogate it. “The random guy I met before school just happens to be a jerk” is a perfectly sound explanation to her.

Found Noh’s clues?: Not at the metro station. Sometimes she sees the Vengeance brooms in chapter 5 (again, depending on the playthrough), but that’s it.

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP:

Love Interest: Kent

Why them?: Sab feels an immediate kinship with Kent after learning about the NPO program. It’s kind of funny how quickly he moves from the least sympathetic position in her eyes (Ment who got past me and read my mind without my knowledge) to the most sympathetic (non-powered child of a prominent family aiming a league above where he “belongs”). A lot of new respect for his competence. Her fate is sealed when she realizes that his kindness at the hospital wasn’t him trying to make up for some wrongdoing, but just him being very sweet. (She had scoffed over “You needed help.” But now she’s like, “Oh. He meant that?! Fuck.”)

As they spend more time together, Sab realizes how weirdly similar they are in other ways, too. And she starts to feel safe/secure around him in a way that she’s extremely not used to. Growing up surrounded by Ments, Sab has a lot of issues about being too much, too difficult, needing to “be worthy” of love. So someone like Kent who is not a Ment, who has no “obligation” to care about her, and whose judgement she trusts implicitly? Being around him and being loved by him mean a lot, and I think will go a long way towards helping her reflect on her other relationships!

What are their first impressions of each other?: Okay, there are like 3 first impressions with Kent. First: he’s tall and handsome and secretly adorable, and they have similar career goals, so she’s drafting a five-month plan to woo him and get his number. Second: he’s a lying, self-obsessed loser who owes her many explanations. Third: oh no, the first impression was true! And he’s been continually, selflessly kind to her in spite of her overt hostility. Scratch the five-month plan, because the crush was only fun when it was entirely superficial; now she really, really likes him and that just sucks.

We know that Button makes a good impression on K by stopping for their dogs, but apart from that... I mean, the “we confused each other” from chapter 7 is very apt. Sab has lots of shifting personas, and Kent sees pretty much every one within 24 hours. The prevailing impression before everything gets cleared up is probably just that she cares a lot? About everything? Her stopping for the dogs, how seriously she takes the first assignment, the way she seems so deeply affected by something he said or did that morning. It’s a rare side of her to meet first because she usually pretends to be above everything.

What feature does your Button find most attractive in their RO (ex. appearance, personality, etc.)?: Probably his composure. And his... steadfastness? The way he seems unruffled by anything, his soothing presence. She really admires that about him and finds the calm contagious.

What do they do to spend time together?: Going on drives together! Kent driving while Sab plays songs she thinks he’ll like, talking or not talking. Cuddling on the couch while reading their own separate books. Museum dates. Walking the dogs together.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: I imagine that the first month or so of their relationship would be difficult, just because they’re both bad at expressing themselves and not used to relying on other people. Kent kind of negates a lot of Sab’s impulses to get defensive or hostile, so instead of arguments, I think there are more likely to be awkward periods where she’s just stewing in something without addressing it. Most of their fights would be, like, one of them becoming really distant for a concerning number of days until the other tries to awkwardly check in on them.

What does their future look like?: Uhh some random lore: I think eventually they do get married, despite neither of them caring that much about it. Sabrina would be excited to have something to plan, and she knows it would make the people around her happy. They have a long engagement; there’s never really an “official” proposal, just an acknowledgement that yeah, they’ll get married one day, and then eventually they get rings. The engagement is almost Sab’s favorite part, honestly. She likes planning and showing off her ring and calling Kent her fiancé, a lot of fanfare on her part for a wedding that ends up being very modest and chill.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)

Relationship with Nick: When I first started developing Sab, I thought that with as difficult/prickly as she can be, her relationship with Nick would be worse than it is. Never bad, but certainly strained, with more jealousy/resentment on her side. However, she rejected this. She is resentful, but never towards Nick—she internalizes the negative parts of their relationship so they manifest as guilt instead. And that’s the problem, not resentment. Sab thinks he’s overprotective, but that doesn’t make her angry; it just makes her sad. She wishes things were different and he didn’t feel so responsible for her, but she also doesn’t know how she could manage without him taking on so many of her burdens. So, guilt! So much love, but always looming guilt.

Having Nick in her head has helped. It’s added a new kind of guilt (“I’m a horrible person for being so giddy that people can’t hear my thoughts even though that requires my brother to be in a coma”), but getting inside Nick’s head for once and really feeling his love for her changes things. Makes her feel way more secure, I guess? It’s easier to see her brother as human person, a friend who loves her, rather than a perfect selfless paragon who sacrificed everything to raise her, which is an important shift.

There are also Things happening with self-presentation in the fact that they’re both models, and flirts, and pretend to be shallow. And the ways that they’ve responded to vastly different expectations. And selflessness versus selfishness. But I have no idea how to talk about that yet.

Relationship with Father: Strained and distant. Sabrina doesn’t necessarily blame him for leaving, but she hates how he’s handled it. She’s incredibly frustrated that John insists on keeping them in this miserable limbo of uncomfortable visits, even though moving away was (to her) a tacit acknowledgement that she and her parents are better off without each other. He’s trying to force a relationship that Sab thinks is ultimately harmful for everyone involved. For Nick’s sake, she’s willing to grin and bear the visits, but it never works because John can obviously tell it’s an act. He pushes her, she gets defensive, and so on to infinity.

Relationship with Mother: Like with John, Sab doesn’t resent Hope for the incident itself, or for leaving afterward. It was terrifying, and the idea of being around Hope makes her panic—but she thinks of that as just another irrational anxiety symptom, and she’s trying to work through it. What she does resent Hope for is letting it get to that point at all. Sab is incredibly bitter that Hope will suffer silently to the point of almost killing her (during the incident) and potentially herself (with the BRS), while Sab has no choice but to be completely open. Especially because they’re so similar in that way—she’s almost jealous. “Oh, so your silence is allowed to almost kill me and it’s ‘nobody’s fault’ but I can’t pretend to enjoy a single lunch with Dad without him calling me out for lying?”

And even though she doesn’t hold the incident itself against her, Sab is very hung up on “Why are you never quiet? Why are you always there?” She knows, on some level, that this was not a Personal Judgement against her. But because Hope keeps so much quiet, this is the only honest expression of her mother’s feelings that she can remember! It would take a lot for Sab to believe that Hope was really, genuinely interested in reconnecting with her, rather than just pretending to love her "enough” this time because to do otherwise would reflect poorly on Hope as a mother.

Relationship with Sally: Besties <3 Sally is the only member of the Wiseman inner circle that Sab doesn’t have complicated feelings about. They both have hidden morbid streaks that they bring out in each other, and can laugh about. They both have competitive streaks that work well together because they’re always on the same team. And their wants/needs from the relationship complement each other well, I think. Sally has always felt valued because she’s useful and not because she’s loved, while Sab has always felt smothered by love/care without feeling like she genuinely adds value to other people’s lives. So it means a lot to both of them that they’re able to help each other practically, while also genuinely loving and supporting each other outside of that.

Relationship with Gray: Full of trust and genuine care, but predicated on distance. Sab loves him a lot for being so careful not to cross any boundaries, physical or emotional, with her. She’s grateful that he’s there for Nick in a way that she doesn’t feel she can be. But "I like Gray because he doesn’t push me and is good to Nick” means that any hand he extend makes her defensive, because she’ll either view him as an emissary of Nick or start to panic because their normal routine is being disrupted (she doesn’t tell him about Hope in ch 3, for example).

They get along very well in a friend-of-a-friend sort of way, and bond over being cautious counterparts to Nick. Also, Sab never had a crush on Gray, but she is not immune to tall superhero and thinks it’s fun to fake flirt with him. (You know Isabela’s “You have pretty eyes” routine from DA2? Sab does that to Gray when conversations steer towards things she’d rather not talk about.)

Relationship with Glitch: I’m really excited about these two! They click from the start, and Sabrina feels immediately comfortable around Glitch, which makes her feel distinctly uncomfortable whenever she catches herself. Externally, they have pretty different personalities, but they’re both perceptive and... socially manipulative? aware of their self-presentation?... in ways that they both pick up on right away. So it’s a lot of conversational maneuvering and trying to figure out what the other’s game is, while also genuinely enjoying each other’s company.

Relationship with Kent/Kenna: I could go truly insane here. See the romance section above instead.

Relationship with Kim: Sab wants him to like her sooooo bad. He’s one of the only people to ever really get through to her, re: my headcanon conversation after the first assignment. Authority figures tend to treat her as special, whether that’s negatively because of her mind blindness or positively because she’s such an overachiever. She had no idea how to respond to that not being the case (and didn’t handle it well at first), but chapter 6 solidifies her respect for him.

It also turns Rosy’s opinion of Sab around; he was impressed by her in class but left his office thinking she was self-absorbed and naive. But the bombing is a reality check, and her response is very measured and practical in a way that surprises him.

Relationship with Lev: She doesn’t mind the comparisons to Nick or the “maybe one day they’ll fix you” comments as much as you might think. They aren’t her favorite, but she prefers that sort of thing to the inspirational platitudes belied by coddling that she got from her family growing up. Sab has fond memories of Lev and is grateful that he’s always been kind to her, but doesn’t have any particular feelings apart from that.

Relationship with Clarence: Holds a grudge against him for causing a scene, making her late, and generally being a jerk. But she can’t fault him for being right, after what happened! Mostly she just wants to avoid him, but she’ll be thrilled to lord her success over him if/when she proves herself.

Relationship with Dean Branham: Like Rosy, another authority figure that Sab desperately wants to impress. But without the personal investment she has in Rosy’s validation, more “Oh, this person is in charge, so I should make her like me!” Despite Nick’s and Rosy’s reservations, Sabrina doesn’t really have a problem with being “strongarmed” or manipulated into cooperating; for now, she figures Branham was just doing her job and respects her tactics.

Relationship/attitude towards Ments in general: Mostly just uncomfortable and wary around them. Sab doesn’t want her mind read, and she figures that no Ment wants to be forced to read it either. So she has a pretty strict “no Ments” rule for close personal relationships (excluding Nick, Sally, and Gray, of course. But only Nick really counts because he’s the only one who can hear her thoughts whenever she’s nearby). Not out of hatred or resentment, just because she knows it will be easier for everyone in the long run.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): Not many, but yes! Sab dated around a lot in the 2 years before Aeon (more like year and a half, because she completely shut it down once she was more focused on preparing for the MIV program), but there are 2 relationships that were formative/important for her. A high school sweetheart, and someone Sab met through modeling. She doesn’t keep up with her high school ex, but the model is her best friend outside of Sally and Nick, and they still keep in touch! I’m still developing them/the relationships, and I’ll probably post more about them someday. They’re fun!

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: Confusing and contradictory. She has two main modes that confuse people who meet both (e.g., Kent). She’s either cold, stuck-up, and sometimes hostile, OR she’s charming, frivolous, and sometimes flirty. Mode 1 is tense but stoic and inexpressive; mode 2 is seemingly relaxed but very posed and insincere. Mode 1 is for when she feels uncertain or has no agenda apart from “get to point B”; mode 2 is for when she’s more comfortable or trying to manipulate someone. Her actual personality is a bit closer to the second, but she doesn’t pretend not take things seriously or hide when she’s annoyed.

Strengths: Analytical, methodical, detail-oriented. Very driven and hardworking. May not always act like it, but does have social skills/charisma; a great liar, if you can’t read her mind. Unfailingly loyal and loving to her favorite people, so so so warm and affectionate and supportive if she really loves you. Very perceptive.

Weaknesses: Way too proud. Can be petty and vindictive. Self-absorbed (she doesn’t mean anything by it, but it’s hard for her to see past herself sometimes). Stubborn, hates being wrong. And... emotional isn’t the word, but strong negative emotions can really cloud her judgement. It ties into her being proud, petty, and stubborn; if she’s really upset about something, she can cling to that emotion instead of re-evaluating it or moving forward.

Phobias: From this ask about the phobias that are planned to show up in-game, there are a few that I could see fitting Sab, but I want to wait to see how they’re implemented before I fully commit. Which is very metagame-y, I know (and I am very metagame-y about IF), but “fear of X” is so broad that it really does depend on when/how it manifests in the text.

That being said, agoraphobia is almost a lock; crowds do make Sab very anxious if she can’t keep track of everyone within a certain distance, and if she can’t leave when she starts feeling antsy. Claustrophobia is a maybe. The choice that triggers it (in chapter 4, about hating MRI machines) suits Sab, but I’m not sure if she hates MRI machines because she hates tight spaces, or if it’s more related to her general anxiety about hospitals, medical tests, etc. Which she definitely has!

What activities/club did they do in school?: She avoided anything group-oriented as far as possible. She took piano (maybe violin?) lessons and did recitals, but wasn’t in orchestra. The one exception was maybe National Honor Society or some equivalent, which she would have joined for her resume’s sake. And I think she would have tutored!

Where do they escape to when they need space?: A little used library corner, where she can people watch without being seen/heard.

How do they feel about/cope with their mind blindness?: Sab hates it but tries not to dwell on it. She knows that it’s no one’s fault, and she mainly just tries to... minimize it? Drown out her thoughts, limit her contact with Ments. And, least healthily, very rigidly managing herself. Because there’s so much of her that exists outside of herself, without her control, she tries to either filter or completely suppress everything else. Part of why she got into modeling, she can perform and be perfect and have total control over the final product of her body in the photographs for whatever campaign. Some Day This Will Be Better. But definitely not where she is in current canon.

How has your Button changed since the Incident with Hope?: Developed many new anxieties and disorders and syndromes :) She also became way more self-conscious, as in literally conscious of and way more tightly monitoring herself, what she’s thinking, what she’s expressing, how she’s sitting, etc. Less emotive face, more rigid posture.

If they weren’t an Aeon student, what would they be doing?: Sab would have beaten herself up forever if she “proved everyone right” by avoiding Unity/Ments entirely, so she’d want to stay in the family business somehow. She probably would have ended up doing scientific research on mental agility. Maybe even working for Mirrortech or some other biotech company, which I imagine would have been an interesting conversation to have with the family.

RANDOM FACTS:

Zodiac sign: Like I said, I assigned her Libra months ago for the sake of a template. But I don’t know enough about astrology to commit. Libra or Leo, probably.

Hobbies: Music, reading poetry, “cooking” (i.e., sitting on the counter and not helping while Nick makes dinner)

Likes: Watching other people (Nick) play video games, dressing up, taking long showers/baths, dark chocolate with caramel, back hugs

Dislikes: Being patronized, hot weather, going to the doctor, driving, doing anything she is not good at

Type of bedsheets: Bamboo.

Drink of choice: Cucumber mint lemonade! For hot drinks, some kind of caramel coffee. For alcohol, she refuses to get drunk because she’s terrified of having even less control of her mental broadcast, but at home/around people she trusts she’ll have a glass or two of wine. Doesn’t know enough to be picky, but doesn’t like it too sweet.

Favorite food: Probably some pasta dish Nick makes with asparagus and tomatoes and a lot of garlic.

Favorite color: Like a light turquoise!

Favorite music: Music to her was another mind-shielding tactic before anything else, so she tends to like upbeat-ish electronic/pop stuff. Catchy and repetitive, and/or with lots of personality to drown out her own thoughts. On the other end of the spectrum, she does have a soft spot for crackly, lo-fi, old or old-sounding slow songs—something about fuzzy recordings simulating a weak telepathic signal.

Favorite season: Hmm, spring and autumn are both good. She likes either side of winter.

Anything else you’d like to share: My heart and a long, fulfilling marriage, with anyone who reads all this 💍

#wow this is so long. insanity luv lit ral insanity #this was super helpful for articulating certain things about sab's character so it's already done its job #pls do not feel pressured to read Thousands of words about sabrina my beloved. but if you read all or even some of this <333 a kiss for you #why am i embarrassed to overshare about my own ocs on my own blog. i live here #oc: sabrina wiseman #also this was very much a stream of consciousness deal but i tried to go back and make it comprehensible. good luck all ye who enter here

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