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#GOD and when jack gets there and mary like parents him
paradisecas · 2 years
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ok but actually what about an old romance between au kate and au mary that ends tragically when au mary dies or when the apocalypse starts or whatever and then kate is dealing with this war against angels and suddenly mary is back but she’s different and she was married and doesn’t know her but ah love blossoms again <3
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stillwinchester · 1 year
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i have this fic idea. cas is gone, amara is the new god, and jack stays on earth (he decides to go to the high school). dean griefs, but meantime he tries to be a better father for jack. he knows he screwed up a lot of things, so he starts to fix it. i even have an emotional scene where jack begs dean to look at him (just like dean begged mary). to see him. to notice him. and after this, it's a little better between them. they talk. a lot. dean says it wasn't jack's fault that cas is gone. he tells the stories about him from the past. and every day he drops him to school with a lunchbox he makes for him.
dean tries to move on, but it's hard. eventually, on parents' evening, he meets jack's teacher (let call him phil). they talk to each other, mostly about jack. dean explains it's a great kid, but he lost his father recently, so if the teacher could keep an eye on him, it would be great.
lebanon is a small town, so dean and phil bump on each other on many occasions, and finally, phil invites dean for a coffee.
dean doesn't stop looking for a way to rescue cas, but he opens up to phil. he tells him about monsters, his life, his fears. and he doesn't even know when it happens that they're dating.
one day, dean goes to the meadow (the one with a windmill) and says that he forgives cas that he's gone. and he will move on, but he will never stop loving him.
and then, they find a way. cas is back, unconscious in dean's bed. and dean stays with him all the time. phil understands.
cas wakes up, and there's a big hug. but before they have a chance to talk, phil comes in. dean introduces him to cas, saying it's his partner. and it breaks cas' heart.
cas knows there's no place for him in the bunker. maybe he never belonged here. he moves out to the small house, and he takes jack with him. but jack doesn't want to cut off from dean. they're still spending weekends together. and dean drives him to school. still doing lunchboxes.
cas and dean don't talk, avoiding each other. but dean asks jack about cas all the time, he wants to know, no, he needs to know how he's doing.
phil feels something’s wrong. he knows dean still loves cas. so, eventually, they split up. and there's no broken hearts or tears, they thank each other for this few months, accepting it as the best thing they can do.
but it doesn't mean dean immediately runs to cas. no, he needs to get his shit together. he decides to go to the AA meetings.
one time, jack leaves his backpack in impala, so dean takes it and goes to the house. cas opens the door. it's awkward, and when dean want to step back, cas invites him for coffee. he walks inside the house for the first time.
they start talking, and dean mentions he's attending to AA meetings. he says he's doing it for jack, and kinda for himself. cas is happy for him. dean chuckles that there should've been AA meetings for hunters, where they could talk also about all monster crap. and cas thinks it's a great idea, and dean should do this. even if it was just a joke first, dean starts considering this.
cas serves dean a pie, a cherry one - his favorite. dean's not sure if he deserves it, so cas starts eating it instead, saying how delicious it is. dean laughs and calls him asshole because angels don't even eat. they're fighting a little longer about the pie. and for a moment it's like nothing bad ever happened between them, it's like they had these silly movie nights when they were joking and teasing with each other, just enjoying the company. it feels like home.
weeks pass and it's better between them. dean stays on dinners a few times per week, mostly he's the one who's cooking (jack loves his lasagna). everything seems great, but then one evening, they have a fight. it starts from the stupid reason, but then cas' confession is on the table. dean yells: "you choose to left me!", and cas answers "i choose to save you", and then dean again: "how can you talk about saving me if it meant life without you?". cas is done, he whispers silent "i hate you". he regrets it, immediately. and when he looks at dean, he sees pain and terror on his face. “you don't mean it,” says dean, calmly this time and it's more like a question. like he's begging it's not true. cas shakes his head: “no, i don't. of course, i don't. i'm sorry, dean. i'm just... tired.”
and then everything happens fast because dean's tired too. he murmurs "screw this!", grabs cas by the lapel and presses his lips to his before he has even chance to react. cas freezes first, but a second later he melts into the kiss. he wraps his arms around dean's neck and kisess him back, slow and fondly.
"what was that?” asks cas, breathless. and dean grabs his hands, kisses his knuckles and looks into his eyes. “i'm done, cas. i'm done with tiptoeing around you, with hiding and pretending that I'm not crazy about you. fuck... i know you were hurt and maybe dissapointed that I wasn't waiting for you, but i'm here now, and i wont' leave you.”
and he finally says that he loves him. and there's happy ending for them after all.
yeah, this is a fic which lives rent free in my head. but i won't write it because i'm lazy.
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Round 3
Propaganda why Marinette Dupain-Cheng is insufferable:
She easily gets away with bad, stalkerish behavior, it always feels like she can ‘do no wrong’ unless the show wants us to pity her, and the show writers want us to think she is a quirky and socially awkward girl when throughout the series we see her be friends with basically everyone in Paris with many connections to high up places.
I get she has social anxiety but the way she goes about stalking Adrien is kind of the worst like she even has creep shots of him hanging in her room? That’s weird. I think Adrien’s going through enough without having to deal with the main character being his stalker lol. I know they’re (spoilers) at this point but in the beginning it was so sus
In the newest season, Marinette hides the fact that Hawkmoth was Adrien’s dad. This leads to the bastard getting a statue and honored as a hero after his death. Adrien now never gets to know the fact that his abusive and neglectful father was the one trying to kill him and is instead proud of him.
Her crush on Adrien is like a black hole for her character. Things she’s done because of it:
1) stolen property
2) ruined dates
3) humiliated other characters
4) has a chart of Adrien’s daily schedule for the next year in her room (this is stalking)
5) broke into his room and sniffed his pillow (also a crime)
6) sniffed, took the hair from, and tried to kiss what she thought was a wax statue of Adrien
7) convinced her parents to let her go to China. Why? Not because she wants to connect with her mother’s heritage, not even because she’s a budding fashion designer and Shanghai is considered a fashion hotspot. It’s because Adrien was there.
I started the show, watched one episode, and never tried again. I simply do not vibe with her.
shes annoyinng anf shes a stalker
I love fanon miraculous but by god she has got to stop obsessively stalking her crush and generally making a ton of other terrible decisions. I’d submit Adrien too but he’s more of a deuteragonist
More propaganda
Anti propaganda
Propaganda why Aelin Ashryver Galathynius is insufferable:
Your basic Mary Sue. Styled as the incredibly cool best-assassin in the land at only 18, she nevertheless is constantly snuck up upon, distracted by pretty boys, and possesses not an ounce of wit. In a competition between murderers and thieves to win a place as the King's Champion, she sees a bag of chocolates on her bed that she didn't put there and immediately starts eating it and gushing about how much she adores chocolate - nevermind that they just had a trial involving poison, which several of her competitors are adept at. She's always right, and other characters exist just to tell her how awesome and beautiful and wonderful she is. And then she turns out to be a super special magical fey princess!
I generally don't believe that a Mary Sue is a bad thing, but the only thing I remember about this book was how she had been in prison for years but was super young but was also still the most super-specialest assassin. And she kept reading when she should have been training or sleeping. Like, girl, this is not final exams where you can stay up all night and then roll into class in your pajamas and still squeak out a C. It's supposed to be life and death. Her character traits didn't make her relatable, they made her a moron
Heir to a kingdom plus turquoise eyes plus best assassin in the world plus protagonist centered morality
Anti propaganda
Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:
Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)
>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)
>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)
>Beat up his brother for being possessed
>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)
>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA
>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)
>Locked a child up in a box
>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box
>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl
>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped
misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman
Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.
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found--family · 4 months
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i love thinking about when dean and cas got together bc there’s no one answer, like. they became a couple in season 12 but they fucked for the first time way back in 5x03 and wanted to fuck since season 4 and cas was pining for dean in season 6 while betraying him and dean was shacked up with someone else and dean mourned him for the first time in season 7 only to be met with a cas who didn’t remember him and was also married and then cas lost his mind and dean realised he was in love with cas in purgaytory season gr8 but then hooked up with a cajun vampire sidepiece while cas was brainwashed by heaven and cas realised he was in love with dean once he became human in season 9 bc he was heartbroken from dean rejecting him and cas was being poisoned and dying by stolen grace in season 10 while demon!dean shacked up with crowley and then cas vowed to stand by moc!dean while watching him murder the world and dean pines for cas in season 11 but cas lets the devil possess him while god’s sister has dibs on dean and dean mourns cas in season 13 as a suicidal widow and then they co-parent jack but then they go through a rough patch in season 14 with the whole jack-killing-mary thing and cas dumps dean in season 15 when he treats cas so bad it reaches a tipping point- and yet. dean still didn’t know cas was in love with him and cas was never truly happy with dean bc he never -and then couldn’t- tell dean he was in love with him, like. the story of their getting together contains multitiudes.
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thefailingthief · 3 months
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@risingjay from this.
The drive back down from Canada was filled with questions, but most weren't from Mari this time. On the contrary, she was as cagey about Jack as she was with Viper or her parents.
It wasn't Mitch's first rodeo. Something lurked in the background of their story that he needed to know. Mari wouldn't be so reluctant to talk to him otherwise. Worse than that, the usual tactics he used with Mari weren't working. Distracting her with different topics to drop her guard yielded little. Offering her an extra gemstone - it wasn't a secret that she squirrelled a few away to keep for herself - didn't work, either.
Those were the most surefire way to get her to talk. That she resisted a bribe even after several minutes of thinking about it meant either Jack was that important to her or she was scared. Both, even.
What finally went somewhere was Mitch pointing out that if this Vincent wasn't just a threat to her in Canada. She ran into Jack back in the States, after all. If Mitch knew nothing about the situation, there was no way he could help solve it.
That got him the only significant details Mari shared: Vincent might be dead, and Mari might have been around when it happened. She mentioned something about leaving him on a sandbar in a snowstorm, which would be about the only way Mitch could see her killing somebody.
Dead bodies didn't bother her at all, but god forbid she pull the trigger. He never understood it.
This revelation changed the situation, though. He remembered Mari mentioning that she and Jack got off on the wrong foot, but was the relationship really all right now? If Mari helped kill his brother, Jack might be resentful. It was possible Jack helped her get Vincent in the water, assuming she was telling the truth at all. Mitch didn't think she could pull that off by herself like she claimed. He couldn't see Jack having the spine to kill anybody directly, either. Letting his brother freeze to death, though? Empathy would likely shut that one down.
A couple of beers were enough to get Mari to leave Mitch alone with Jack. She had been roped into a game of darts by a couple of men who didn't know who they were hitting on. It gave Mitch an opening to bother Jack about this brother thing, though. While Mari's dart bounced off the wall across the room, Mitch popped a question he hoped was shocking enough to get an answer.
What Jack gave him was more information than Mitch expected. Mari hadn't said anything about Vincent's personality outside of the context of herself. The ending of Jack's words is what bothered Mitch.
He resisted patting Jack's shoulders as he leaned on the table. "That makes sense." He watched a dart hit the board this time, smiling as Mari caught one of the men's hands with a forceful high five. "I would be pissed if someone tried to kill my brother."
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shallowseeker · 3 months
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Why is Dean so stressed in 14x17?
(We know why.)
Ahem:
The visuals of this are pretty goddamned painful
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And WTF is UP with these foreshadowing lyrics??? soft country music -> Jackie Stewart's Maybe Tomorrow>
We had a quarrel Like lovers do Still I can't make my heart Believe we're through For I still love you With all my heart And life means nothing When we're apart Maybe tomorrow When comes the dawn Maybe the dark clouds Will all be gone Maybe tomorrow The sun will shine Maybe tomorrow You'll still be mine
etc etc
This could be foreshadowing...OR maaybe Dean n' Cas actually had a smallish weird fight about Cas leaving again.
I mean, Cas is lying about a ton of stuff (Empty deal, Felix the snake, searching for God), and Dean is pretty good at pinging that, even when he tries to swallow it down and overlook it.
///
And Dean?
Dean is so stressed out that not only do Mary and Jack notice, but they're taking actions to calm him down/cheer him up
Sam prooooobably knows why Dean is unhinged, so he quickly volunteers to get outta Dodge and pick up the food. (I feel ya, Sammy. You are me in this moment.)
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Meanwhile, Dean struggles to win Mouse Trap. We get a closeup of the foot kicking the "audience" eye. NOTE that in the actual game, it's just a plain silver ball.
Or at least that's how I remember it and have always seen it. If anyone know of a version that was released with an eye, hit me up.
Otherwise I'm gonna assume it was completely intentional, and Dean is trying to have a normal family game night without "us" interfering.
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<Cue Dean screaming over sucking at the game>
He's, uh, wound pretty tightly today, actually.
We can see that from Jack and Mary's following convo. Seems like today, they're the ones tag-teaming to mollify Dean.
(Dean, who is stressed because Cas is AWOL and acting cagey and probably not answering his phone again.)
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JACK: "I thought this was supposed to relax him."
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Ahahaha, oh Mary. "Let's give Dean a little game and he'll relaxies and be nicies to us!"
Oh yea.
Cas definitely isn't answering his phone, and everyone is tiptoeing around Dean because of it.
///
Tragedy: Jack & Mary get along really well!
Just gonna point out that Jack is actually VERY comfortable with her in general.
He spent MONTHS with her at war. She was his advisor. Given that he ran away from TFW a few weeks after his birth, much of his formative parenting was done by Mary Campbell Winchester, not Sam and Dean (nor Cas)!
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She checks in with Jack, but she doesn't push. Result? Genuine, blunt Jack emotions:
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(MARY is thinking "FUCK, first my oldest son is acting like a basket-case and screaming at a toddler's game and now my grandson is acting like this. FML. Cas, come home now. Plz for the love of all that is holy.")
Tragically, because of the trust and comradery between them, Mary offers something the others don't: permission to vent.
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(MARY: Jack, if you wanna talk shit about everyone, I love shit-talk. )
Funnily enough, Mary doesn't use a lot of words here. It's a partially silent communication. "If you ever wanna vent..." (gentle head tilt like, 'y'know.')
JACK: You're here. I know. (silent appreciative looks, then Jack makes a head motion like 'c'mon let's go').
And ACTUALLY.
Jack reacts genuinely well to that. He and Mary...get each other. He feels comfortable telling her what he really thinks.
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See, I think this emotional permissiveness that we see with Mary is devastating. Jack tends to get more genuinely irritable and say what he thinks with Mary (also Dean n' Cas). Even when he's soulless and working hard to "perform" soulfulness, his real irritation slips out with her.
Tragically, that means she was probably always more risk with Jack. Because he's more comfortable throwing his real, ugly emotions at them.
(Sam on the other hand is more cerebral and perhaps at times...unintentionally distant because it's all so eloquent, careful, scripted.)
///
DEAN: (swallowing his nerves and trying to be cheerful and teasing) All right! Winchester game night is a go! Soon as Sammy gets back with two double-pepperoni meat blasters...and a pineapple.
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Jack seems appreciative of the banter here. He doesn't wanna be pushed right now.
///
Dean is weird when Sam doesn't pick up his phone right away
When Donatello lands in Nick-shaped peril, Dean tries to call Sam. ONCE. And it gets an...out-of-proportion reaction from Dean.
(It's also...a lot like John's voicemail in Phantom Traveler. "This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean. He can help.")
He's prickly:
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SAM: "You've reached Sam Winchester. If this is an emergency, call my brother."
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DEAN: Sam's not answering his phone. This whole damn town's a dead zone.
That's...not exactly true, as least what we've see so far in the series? They make calls from the bunker a lot.
*coughs* This lends some credence to the fact that his prior stress (the stress that Jack and Mary were working together to help) is about his, uh, phone. Phone calls. Phone calls not being answered, even.
READ: This is about Cas. Who hasn't been answering his phone. And Dean? Dean rationalizes that maybe his calls aren't landing because of where he is.
///
There's some truth to Dean's woes/anxiety. When Cas leaves, bad things tend to happen. And hey, they happen when Cas is there too, sure, but with Cas there, Dean can't help but feel more resilient, more equipped to take on whatever-it-is.
///
But yeah, it's looking like Dean and Cas maybe already had a little, reserved/restrained fight prior to Jack killing Mary. Dean was acting...really weird. Forced.
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ranwing · 1 year
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So... how much of a clusterfuck was The Winchesters finale?
A massive one, in my humble opinion. This show turned out to be a classic bait and switch. It got sold to the audience as one thing, but with the conclusion turned out to be something else completely.
Let's just start off with the biggest issue - the story of John and Mary and how their love saved the world? Complete bullshit. John and Mary had nothing to do with the final conclusion of the series. They were not even the John and Mary that we grew to know and have deeply conflicted feelings about. They were an alternate version, existing in one of the many alternate universes that Chuck liked to play with. They weren't Sam and Dean's parents and might not ever come to have a Sam and/or Dean of their own.
This is, IMO, exceedingly sloppy writing. We knew from the very start that this was the most likely scenario, as there was no way that TW would fit in with original SPN cannon without massive retcons so this allowed the writers to basically thrown cannon into the shredder because nothing mattered. They could screw around with the mythology and do whatever they wanted because it's an alternate universe. As a writer, this pisses me off because even when writing AUs, there need to be some ground rules to connect with the premise of the original series. This just gave them an out for poor research and sloppy writing.
Which brings us to another major problem. How was there an alternate universe for Dean to play around in when we were told in the final season of SPN that Chuck had destroyed every reality except for the one that our Sam and Dean existed in. Unless Jack went out of his way to create a universe for Dean to jump into, there was no way for this to work with SPN lore. If Jack was now God and could fix all of the damage Chuck had done, why didn't he just deal with the Akrida? Why did Dean need to step in to protect the reality that Sam was currently still living in?
Then we have the biggest issue and that was how Dean was used. Or rather, Jensen since there wasn't a whole lot of Dean there. When the series was first announced and Jared's/Sam's fans were livid that he was being completely excluded from the series (and hadn't even been told that Jensen was ready to move ahead with it before the announcement was made), we were assured that this was all about John and Mary and that Dean would be, at most, a passive narrator. That Jared wasn't deliberately excluded and all would make sense. Well, it did make sense that we were lied to. Whether they realized that trying to make the show about John and Mary just wasn't resonating with the audience and tossing Dean into a more active role was something of a hail Mary, or this was the plan all along, Dean ended up being not just the McGuffin, but the hero of the story. He gets to save the day and all of reality.
This makes it painfully clear that this show wasn't about trying to explore other stories in the SPN universe. This was about Jensen's ego. That he was still upset that his character wasn't the last man standing, even when he admits that narratively it made more sense for Sam to be. This was about giving him the opportunity to be the big solo hero without having to share screen time with Jared. I can't say whether this was what Jensen and CM had originally planned or whether it became necessary to salvage the lackluster storyline, but it turned out to be an empty exercise of hubris and ego.
And I'm sorry, but trying to excuse Sam's erasure by having Dean claim that he was doing this because he had "family" in his own verse (who he couldn't even bring himself to call by name) was a cheap cop out. It doesn't make up for how Jensen and Dannell acted when putting this mess together and how he treated Jared. It was a slap in the face to the majority of the SPN audience, who watched because we loved both the brothers.
If there is any justice in the universe, the network will see this as the failure that it was and that the SPN legacy should never have been put in the hands of an inexperienced production company or when one of the leads is deliberately excluded. TW does not in any way warrant or need a second season and this should been tossed away a the failed experiment that it was.
Sorry Jensen, but you shat the bed. This dumpster fire is all on you.
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brothermoth · 4 months
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Marriage, for the greiving
[TW: mention of child death]
Spring, 1909
Time brings a slowness. He hadn't realized before, not when he was too busy taking it all for granted. Watching it pass by too swiftly to understand, watching his son get taller and lose whatever spark of innocence he had left. John has a habit of ruining things like that. Innocent things, anything pretty and gentle growing on this ranch of dust and rocks. He handles them with ignorant roughness, a grizzly incapable of cradling the body of a sparrow in paws made for violence. When the baby comes, he holds her like she is glass. She cries when he holds her, no matter how many times Abigail guides his arms to the proper position. He won't hold the baby in front of Jack, because he can feel the boy's judging eyes boring holes straight through him. Jealous eyes, thinking you cannot even do it right the second time.
Their second child came out with a full head of dark hair and skin flushed with rash from the difficult trip out. Althea. Abigail picked it. She learned to read the name, learned to spell it in that chicken-scratch writing of hers. Spring is supposed to bring new life. It brought them another child, one untarnished by their past. Born into a proper family, two married parents and an older brother. A house, a dog. Clothes on her fragile little body and food in her belly.
She died with the leaves once autumn sank its claws into the plains. Their crops withered with the first frost and so too did their little Althea. Six months. Abigail did not cry. She did not say much of anything, not for a long time. Jack learned to cook while John readied the property for its second winter, working until his hands bled because there was not much else he could do. Helplessness is the sort of thing men do not easily learn to feel. Time and time again, he is left with nothing despite his best efforts. His wife is a ghost in their home and his son is always making up for the failures of the father. Uncle even had the good sense to make himself scarce during the day.
John watches dust settle to the bottom of his glass. Whiskey tastes like failure. Like a hound hot on his heels that he cannot outrun. He sits before the hearth, watching flames devour the logs that feed them and thinking of Dutch. He doesn't want to think of all that, but he finds he can't help it. Arthur's old sweetheart, Mary, came to visit soon after the baby was born. She gifted John one of his brother's old journals, one that had been left behind when their romance soured. Neither of us knew him, she said. Not really.
In those yellowed pages was a drawing of a child. A boy, smiling and displaying a pickerel caught in the stream beyond his mother's house. Somewhere a few chapters ahead is a drawing of two graves.
The glass slides away from his hand. He lets it go, lets it be taken and dumped into the kitchen sink. His palm stays open on the arm of the couch, as if his body has not quite noticed it was missing the glass at all. Abigail puts her palm into that empty space. Slides it forward, down his arm.
"Come to bed." She murmurs. Her voice is raspy. Her eyes are puffy and red.
"I'm sorry." He tells her. "God, I'm…I'm sorry." He holds her hand with all the desperation of a man who fears losing her beyond all else.
"Come to bed," She replies. The moon bathes their bedroom in pale light. She has not turned on the lamp, but John likes the night's glow much better. They have not seen each other in so long. He'd forgotten. Forgotten her. Her voice, her hands.
He pulls her hair free, then watches the cotton strap of her nightgown fall past one shoulder, then the other. Her breasts are still swollen, still raw from nursing. John rests his forehead between them, feeling the warmth of her body. He holds her. The way he should have done weeks ago, the fool that he is. Her face buried in his shoulder, she lets a quiet sob out into the darkness.
No matter how many times he held that child in timid arms, it was not enough. They didn't have enough time. They'll never have it back again. She is alone beneath the cold earth, covered by dirt and snow. All bundled in the blanket one of the women in town knitted. A baby blanket should never be a shroud.
"I'm here,” John whispers. “I'm right here. Always will be.”
Abigail nods into the crook of his neck, touching his chest, his face. She brushes her soft lips against the roughness of his jaw. It feels like such a waste, scoring those pretty lips against a scarred face. Such a pretty woman. Beautiful, wonderful. Any man would have been lucky to have her, and yet she chose the one who was so cruel to her. Who left her with a child to care for, so young and untethered from the world. John had thought her and Jack to be a ball and chain weighing him down. It was him. It was always him. Time and time again she chooses him. He never understood why. John clutches at the fabric of her nightgown, sucking in a shuddering breath. He wouldn't dare shed a tear in front of his son, but in the embrace of his wife? He trusts her. Hell, he trusts her with his life. He always will. She waited for him. All those years, she waited for him to grow the hell up.
"We tried," She chokes out, "We tried to start over."
"I know."
"Are we cursed?" Her eyes are big and blue. John has only seen the ocean a handful of times, but her eyes are like a seaside view. He takes her hands, holding them against his chest, where his heart beats steady despite the racing of his mind.
"No. No, we ain't cursed." He breathes in slow. The dirt from the grave is still trapped beneath his fingernails. If he tries he can still feel silken hair, soft skin and impossibly small hands wrapped like a vice around his own callused fingers. How could something so sweet come, in part, from him? John shuts his eyes tight. "We're just as unlucky as everyone else."
An owl takes flight off the crest of the barn. Casts off into the night, silent as the gentle breeze. Beyond the porch of Beecher's Hope, talons grasp the body of a fieldmouse, crushing through fur and flesh right to the bone.
When morning comes, Jack will find the discarded pellet out past the gazebo. Swallowed whole and digested without mercy. Such is the way of things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOTE:
I've been hyperfixating hard on Rdr1 and John's relationship with Abigail so here y'all go. I think it was absolutely super difficult for them to have lost a child, especially after everything they've been through. Child loss was incredibly common at the time, so they certainly weren't alone in that struggle, but I'm sure it was a huge blow to the whole family. Wish we got to hear more about it in game, but that's what writers are for, I suppose.
Also I'm a slut for animal symbolism
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angelsdean · 1 year
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i do want my empty rescue i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition full circle moment however. i do think it would be funny if my caspala crack theory were real djskfd like dean gets to heaven and starts driving and then cas's voice comes in thru the radio and yea jack got him out of the empty but something....is not right with him...(my it's really jack, but chuck is secretly there too / it's actually the god-power corrupting jack flavor of the chuck won theory) and so cas is hiding out in baby (possessing the car) bc jack-chuck wants to keep them apart since dean + cas have always been the ones to foil his plans, the ones that weren't supposed to be part of the story together etc etc. so cas is like whispering to dean abt all this with urgency (and very conveniently avoiding the confession) and dean (who still is nervous as heck to acknowledge all that and still trying to work out his own doubts and hangups bc what if he messes this all up with cas???) follows cas's lead and is relieved to not have to confront all of that right this minute. so they go for a drive.
and cas tells dean what he's learned so far in heaven helping 'jack' rebuild things. and he tells dean where to find the portal to the multiverse and about these 'fail safes' chuck left around that jack refuses to meddle with (and that's one of the things tipping cas off that jack is not truly jack. because jack would not just sit back and let all the worlds including their own get destroyed after they fought so hard to save everyone!!!) and so dean and cas(pala) decide to take on this hunt together and they go universe hopping and they find this one last earth universe w/ a version of dean's parents that he can save and they do that !!! and when dean gets stuck in the akrida queen's portal he sends cas(pala) through to help them defeat the queen. and then cas keeps mary safe as she takes down the queen<3 and dean drives them back through the portal.
then "jack" intercepts bobby in heaven and finds out where dean has gone (still does not know abt caspala) and goes to wrangle dean back to heaven. and then they get back to heaven and "jack" tells dean to stop meddling and stay put, drive around, take in the sights, go visit your real parents. so dean gets back into baby and starts driving to lull "jack" into a false sense of security but yea, after seeing jack again in person he's convinced something is not right. so he and cas drive on, and it's quiet for a long stretch of road. a tape starts to play though dean hasn't put one in and he realizes it's his mixtape to cas that cas is playing through baby's speakers. and dean grins all soft and goofy and lovesick. because now he's had the time to process some things, and the time to heal a bit via his AU parents' stories and finding hope there.
so they drive somewhere quiet with a nice view and dean pulls over and says, "hey buddy (affectionate) there's uh, there's some stuff we gotta talk about." and the speakers crackle with static. "you kinda left me hanging back there...i didn't really get a chance to...well, there's just something i need to say. something i've wanted to say for a long time."
and, even though it's risky, even though "jack" may be watching, cas appears in the passenger's seat. and dean looks up (still beautiful, still dean winchester) and he smiles softly and finally, finally says, "i love you too, cas. of course i love you." and cas's eyes get big a teary and dean desperately gets up in his space, slides across the seat and pulls him into a nose-breaking kiss<3 and then of course they get to the whole saving their kid part of the story and busting out of heaven forreals!
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ultrahpfan5blog · 1 year
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Shazam! Fury of the Gods - Review
I am a big fan of the first Shazam movie. To me, that is one of the unique superhero movies that is less about action and superheroics, and more about heart and emotion. Plus, it was genuinely funny. So I was very excited when the entire team reunited to do Shazam! Fury of the Gods. Just saw the movie today and while I don't think its as good as the first, the film was a lot of fun. Arguably my favorite superhero movie since The Batman.
The film feels like it improves on some elements from the first film and is inferior on other elements. One thing the film definitely improves on is the action and visual effects. The first Shazam was fairly measured on its big action set pieces. And the Seven Deadly Sins definitely felt quite video gamy. Here though, the action sequences are quite good and the visuals on the Dragon, as seen in the trailer, are quite awesome. The film's humor is also on point. There is a scene with Helen Mirren reading a letter which had me in stitches laughing. The humor is consistent and keeps the tone light and frothy. The film also gives all the characters something to do and they all have some sort of purpose and story. Djimon Honsou's Wizard has a much expanded role and he and Jack Dylan Grazer's Freddy share some really funny scenes. The cast also has a lot of chemistry and immense likability, so you enjoy watching the various antics they get up to. The film is also fairly quick paced. It never slacks or bores the audience. The very final climactic set piece is pretty cool.
The one element that the film is inferior to compared to its predecessor, is the emotional heart. It is a little tricky for this film because one of the appeals of the first film was the little kid in a superhero's body. But Billy isn't so young anymore. They still have enough of it to be fun, but it is no longer as refreshing. Also, there is nothing quite as emotionally powerful as the arc of Billy trying to find his mother and finally coming to terms with the fact that his mother rejected him. The film actually doesn't spend enough time with the characters as kids. The key arc with Billy clinging onto his family out of the fear of losing them doesn't have enough emotional weight because we don't see Billy as a kid in situations where that worry would come up. Also, the key dynamic between Freddy and Billy, which was the heart of the first film, is pushed to the side though it does come full circle at the end. The entire action climax could have been trimmed down because it does start to feel a bit repetitive although the ending of the climax is kickass. They could have given that 10-15 mins to giving some more depth to all the kids and their individual predicaments.
The performances are strong across the board. All the kids and their counterparts are perfectly matched. Levi is still a delight as Shazam. Asher Angel doesn't have enough to do in this film but he makes an impression. Jack Dylan Grazer is a scene stealer, as he was in the first film and Adam Brody is a very apt adult Freddy. Ross Butler and Ian Chen as Eugene, DJ Cotrona and Jovan Armand as Pedro, Meaghan Goode and Faithe Herman as Darla, and Grace Caroline Currey as Mary are all excellent. I particularly love how Meaghan Goode plays adult Darla. Grace also makes an impression as the most level headed sibling of the lot. Rachel Zegler, Helen Mirren, and Lucy Liu are all enjoyable as the daughters of Atlas. Marta Milans and Cooper Andrews as the foster parents are very likable and the movie could have used more of them. Djimon Honsou is a hoot and clearly having a lot of fun.
All in all this was still a really fun film. I feel bad that this film is bombing so badly at the BO. I still can't believe that Morbius had a better opening weekend than what this film will have. Unfortunately, this film feels like it was a bad victim of circumstance. Coming 4 years after the first film, which was probably too big a gap for a minor character, after a spate of comic book films which haven't been received with a lot of positivity, with no major integration into the main DCEU till then, with now also the image of being a dead franchise walking after Gunn and Safran have taken over DC, there just has been audience apathy towards the film that the marketing hasn't been able to overcome. I also find the reviews for this to be strange. While I do think the first Shazam is a bit better, I don't get how that has a 90% RT and this has a 54%. I would have thought it would at least have a 75-80% RT rating. I think David F. Sandberg has done a real admirable job with these two Shazam films and its sad that we won't see any more of these but I have enjoyed the two we got. I'd rate this a solid 8/10 on first watch.
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nerdygirlwithanxiety · 7 months
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Creeps rewrites information *not counting OCs*;
WILLIAM GROSSMAN
William was only 18 when he discover the underworld exsist. But has that " just because I see it doesn't mean i have to believe it exsist" mentalism..most likely developed it from his childhood friend Anthony
Fucking loves Christmas. Christmas = snow and snow means winter and winter means...snowboarding season
Great at snowboarding *its one of his favorite hobbies behind playing guitar and skateboarding *
You think his favorite idol would be a killer but ironically in this au he didn't get that mindset until laughing jack brainwashed him. His true idol happened to be a famous skateboarder called " Tex Eagle" his original goal before he wanted to be the greatest killer was to beat Tex's skateboarding record*s*
This said he's not really a fit guy persay he's more average. Not overweight but not under he's more of the middle. Most of the time he's lazy unless he's out doing tricks and shit *only time he's exercising *
He enjoys any kind of music but mainly listens to punk or hard metal
His voice headcanon is currently unknown
He's pansexual /demiromantic
Has a HUGE crush on Anthony but denies it completely
People call him a class clown until a fight broke out now nobody fucks with him. Infact they try to avoid him *he may or may not have almost killed someone before one of his friends pulled him back*
Despite him acting like a idiot at times he has a high IQ making him *EXTREMELY* smart. He built his first hoverboard at only 10 years
He's 5"7 like his Canon counterpoint however unlike that version his birthday is different. His dob is 6.18.01
He never was able to draw until he met the leader singer of his band *anthony obviously *
He could play any instrument but mostly prefer Guitar
His love rival is mercury black *another childhood friend in this au. Yes this is in the same universe as rwby don't judge me*
Will taunt Anthony with Christmas music every November...totally not because he gets kisses to shut him up
He was mostly stuck in the closet out of fear of rejection up until his 20s *that's how long he loved Anthony *
Nearly vomit out of anxiety when he found out about his homophobic violent grandfather Isaac
Just like in one of my rewrite au concept he's suffer from the Grossman curse *half human half demon* just didn't know about it. Only difference is Frankie isn't here to save him..
Short hair will supermarcy
Will's parents are actually very lovingly. His father is named Jax while his mother was named Mary. Their personality is basically like Madeline Fenton and Jack Fenton from Danny Phantom. Both very smart scientists that love eachother and kids. (More info on a separate post about the parents)
Has a fear of BLOOD . he faints everytime he sees at least ONE small drop
That's it for him rn. I may update this later
Frankie The Undead
Just like Canon he's just done with everyone's shit and doesn't want to deal with it
VERY sarcastic *while will's oblivious *
Thinks will's a bit naive
Hates and I mean HATES laughing Jack.
He's well aware he gets his wallet stolen from the idiots and kept extra incase after how many times they misplaced them...and his poor platinum credit cards
Both him and Dr Forenskin made a secret rebellion against Rosalyn *an antagonist you wont meet until...late...late..later on. Shes more important then Issac. Which tells you something* , Zalgo, and Slenderman.
It's a possibility that a certain grim reaper helped them build this rebellion before his " death"
Only once did he punch LJ and nearly broke his wrist *you won't know why yet*
He's secretly Anthony's guardian *kinda like how LJ is will's*
During the human realm arc ending and the beginning of the underworld arc he secretly leaves Anthony's notes on how to find the well to get to Will
Doesn't believe in redemption up until the God of redemption woke up then suddenly realized there was a habit to free all three realms and wake up the fourth.
Owns a hidden weapon room *he mainly uses twin pistols*
New design coming soon
Also has a Australian accent *same voice as mammon from the new helluva boss episode*
LAUGHING JACK
Out if pure irony broke the many walls beyond the fourth. Speaking of which he's well aware of that um...counterpart and cringes at it. So much so he nearly try to delete that universe but couldn't because of Frankie trying to avoid breaking the multiverse and tearing a hole into dimensions nearly killing everyone some point..it was before will and Anthony was born
Can and will dab for no reason
Instead of a clown he's just a shapeshifter that changes into a clown
Did canonically killed Issac just differently compare to how he originally killed him.
Wanted to torture will until he realize what his personality was like so he brainwashed and kidnapped him to his own dismay...mainly because he was bored
Absolutely hates color
Absolutely hates the rebellion but only stuck around for his little puppet
Legit if it weren't for Will as his cover the fucker would be dead by now.
Is a high level demon just not as high as Zango or slender or...HIM
He bleeds candy which was why he craves human blood and organs.
Despise clowns *ironic right?* whole reason he shape-shifting into one is because clowns are a common fear so fuck it. If it gets him victims to unalive he'll do it.
Injured will once learned his lesson immediately.
Can drive people into insanity
And since I wanna make him hateable; he thinks NFTs are hilarious and uses it to piss people off and claim it as a prank.
Legit he will fuck with everybody and uses what everyone's hates. Every. One.
This will get people excited for a underrated character;
DR Forenzik
He is still a scientist
He's basically the commanders of the rebellion while Frankie is the "leader" thinking the original leader died.
He did, in fact, Gave LJ and Will a job to mainly keep an eye on will
He has a Russian accent
Thanks to him traveling around the human realm over the years he devolped many accents and languages basically like mimicry *kinda had too if he wants to steal things from every science lab to get the shit he needs*
Would rather sleep in but everyone wakes him up so now he has that grumpy grandpa attitude like how Frankie has grumpy alchoholic uncle attitude
Cries and scream on the inside everytime will or lj breaks shit in his lab
Cringes ecerytime he hears Laughing Jack voices
" oh god its the beast that squeaks" ~ Devi from I Feel Sick *Johnny The Homicidal maniac spinoff*
Prefer classical music to help him think while experimenting.
And thats it for now. I may come up more later but for now this is it
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spotconln · 1 year
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uk conlon siblings
because @daveysjackie and i both love pinoy spot (clarice we miss you), naturally we had to expand on her life and gave her siblings. a lot of my other thoughts about her comes from here! 
they are marisol, tala, and sean col-long at birth
ages in canon are 17, 13, and 9 respectively 
marisol: sunflower in tagalog; before moving up to new york from the south, their mother’s favorite flowers were the narrowleaf sunflower. a beautiful plant that’s able to thrive in difficult conditions, a sentiment she hopes is passed onto her firstborn
tala: bright star in tagalog; like many others, the stars were an important guide that got their ancestors to america, strong and bright, grounding. the second-born, rounding out their little family and becoming a new star in the col-long constellation 
sean: ‘god is gracious’ in irish; while not filipino in origin, their parents’ faith in god is a large part of their lives, so it seemed fitting to honor their third and final child after the faith that’s kept them together and strong as a family (also it’d be a crime to not keep sean conlon in the mix somehow)
when they move to new york, their last name becomes anglicized to conlon to assimilate a little better  
tala and sean are part of the select few to call marisol ‘mari’, but it’s only used when they want something or feel mischievous 
before moving, they’d speak in tagalog practically all the time. but after, they started speaking in english more for practice. they do still often communicate in tagalog, mostly to gossip in front of folks or discuss private things
because of her namesake, tala developed an appreciation for the stars, her favorite being the lyra constellation because it reminds her of the music shared in her community 
mari loves both her siblings (despite their behavior at times) and prioritizes them over everything. tala gets along with mari more than she does sean. she’s the ‘anti-mari’, refusing to obey her sister sometimes, but she does not like sean for most of their childhood. she teases him for being the shortest and smallest of the three, often calling him mini, dot, half-off, semi-conlon, bite-sized, smidge, etc. sean’s biggest role model is mari, and took to trailing after her a lot when he was quite young
as newsies, they become spot, dash, and mini
spot: named after her deadly aim with a slingshot
dash: based on her mad running skills that spot is both proud of and hates – it’s easier for her to run off into a crowd whenever she does something stupid
mini: both because dash won’t stop calling him this and he aspires to be like spot one day, so people took to calling him a ‘mini spot’ (it was nearly freckles because he does have them and it adds to his charm in front of the ladies)
the three of them used to sleep in a single bunk (due to the fear of losing each other after their parents died) but when they got bigger, spot took the top bunk while dash and mini took the bottom. the three do try to squeeze together on occasion, to various degrees of success
spot taught them how to use a slingshot when they were each old enough and gave them their own personalized one. dash’s has the lyra constellation carved in, while mini’s has two circles – one large and small
dash, lucky, and stray make up the ‘troublemaking younger sister/cousin’ trio. they drive spot, belle (daveysjackie’s oc for lucky’s older sister), and specs (stray’s older cousin – ty bailey siblings) insane sometimes 
sprinkling in the sprace; mini looks up to race as a brotherly figure. whenever he makes the trek over to brooklyn, at night he and dash and mini would sit on the fire escape and he would tell them stories until they fall asleep. spot watches from the window and takes her siblings back inside so race can sneak off undetected 
mini becomes fiercely loyal to race. one time some of the brooklyn newsies were in manhattan, and he saw jack and race argue over something. immediately ran over to them and started hitting jack’s legs to defend race. race was highly appreciative. jack was confused but played along, over-exaggerating his defeat
now every time jack sees mini he starts off by dramatically hiding from him in his “are you following me” style. it boosts the kid’s ego so much
mini and les become fast friends, being the same age. mini absolutely teaches les how to use a slingshot. davey is concerned, spot just hopes no one’s eye is taken out
while dash thinks of mini as the ‘annoying younger brother’ for a long time, she’s still very protective over him. sees him get beat up by the delanceys once and “knocks morris’ teeth out with his own brass knuckles”. mini feels loved. spot is proud
mini punches dash’s arm hard enough to bruise once – she was teasing him for his small stature again – and she is immensely proud and has a newfound respect for him. of course, she hits him back and they tussle it out for a bit until spot breaks it up
as spot and race’s relationship continues on, and once the elders aren’t newsies anymore, race takes on more responsibilities taking care of dash and mini. they start to see him take on a fatherly role in their lives 
mini calls him dad once and race cries 
spot struggles a lot with balancing being young and fun with them as an older sister while also being stern and caring like a mother. she doesn’t want to replace their mother in their eyes, but there are moments where she acts as she would and it makes her emotional
she often worries that she didn’t do a well enough job of taking care of them throughout their adolescence. but then she sees them grow up to be the most wonderful, strong, caring and smart people and is relieved to have done an alright job (race argues she did an amazing job)
to dash and mini, the line between spot the sister and spot the mother figure gets blurrier as they grow older. while they do miss their mother – or the idea of a mother – spot has her own special place in their hearts that they wouldn’t give up for anything
i’m SO normal about them, can you tell 
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My brain divides SPN into several… i don’t know… Sections? Seven to be exact (I think).
Season 1-2
Season 3 (cuz I always forget it)
Season 4-5
Season 6-10
Season 11-12
Season 13-14
Season 15
At this point I’m in fact not sure, why it’s like that? But between these sections it felt/feel like something changed, like a new book began or smth like that.
I am personally fond of 4-5 and very fond of 6-10.
The first two seasons seem like a separate thing to me because it‘s like, what they originally wanted the show to be about i think? The Prologue or smth so to speak.
Season 3, I never know what happened there, when we rewatched it I was frequently like „Oh! That was season 3?“. There’s just not much that really sticks out? Besides Dean going to hell maybe. Which I only remember because Cas pulled him out in 4.
Seasons 4-5, the apocalypse, I think I liked the concept of it? Dean & Cas‘s chemistry of course, Lucifer, the angels. I just enjoyed it.
Seasons 6-10, Cas betraying the boys, the Leviathans, Sam being soulless, Purgatory, Benny, Dean having a Crisis every other episode, Charlie, Metatron, Rowena, Alex, Donna being introduced, Claire being reintroduced, Crowley, the Mark of Cain- all examples of concepts & characters I adore. There is a distinct change after Season 5 was over, in Dean and Cas’s characters especially. Probably because it was supposed to end after S5? Whatever, I really enjoyed that. It was fun.
Season 11-12, I don’t remember much? I think it was the Amara/Darkness & Men of Letters Arc thing? The concept of the Darkness was nice. God, Lucifer and the whole squad teaming up to get rid of her was kinda cool I guess? Ketch was… I don’t know a little weird at first but I got used to him? Never grew overly fond of Mary’s character. Jack‘s birth of course was… something. Over all neutral ig. I don’t know why this is distinct for me, but I feel like something changed after 10 was over, can’t put my finger on it though.
Season 13-14, I’m currently watching 14, I think the whole parenting thing with Jack they‘ve got going on is nice. I‘m currently enjoying the whole Micheal trying to destroy the earth & possessing Dean arc and whatever the hell is going on with Nick. Gabriel coming back in 13 and the girl squad with Donna, Jody and the kids feeling more… prominent (?) was fun. What changed here is probably conditioned by Jack being added as a character. I like him, but it kinda changed the dynamic I guess? Also because it kinda conditioned everything that happened afterwards.
Season 15, I haven’t watched it yet. From what it looks like Dean’s character gets ruder than I‘m used to? Especially to Cas? Then there‘s the Destiel confession (that I naturally know about) and the weird way Dean dies in the end. Even though I haven’t seen it yet it already kinda feels like they were hastily trying to rip the whole thing off kind of abruptly? Correct me if I’m wrong. I‘ll report back when I watched it, currently I’m rewatching in German (currently S6) with my mother who hasn’t seen the show yet.
I don’t know what this is supposed to be? I think I just wanted to rant about this whole section thing in my mind and how/why I like said said sections. Maybe also for me to write it down and make up my mind about this stuff, because as I’m rewatching the show I’m reflecting and thinking about stuff a little bit more.
If you want to you can add on with your own opinions on the seasons & how/if you section them. Or if you can/want to add any bonus information.
I enjoy reading other people’s opinions & takes.
Anyway have a nice day. And thanks for reading.
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minalblood · 1 year
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Rewatching the Winchesters now that it's on HBO Max and I can at any time instead of 3 am and god the pilot is chaotic but in the best way now that I already love all the characters.
And more than that, I can actually enjoy John this time around since I can watch it without having SPN!John in my head. Still will rub me the wrong way when he says hypocritical shit that SPN!John has done, but it's sooo much easier to genuinely give him the space to be aka grow as a character without the constraints of who he would've become. And yea, he very much is still completely recognizable as the John we knew, like to the point that I believe him to be way more likely to become JDM!John than Matt's John (but we did spend very little with him tbh). But he still has time to figure his shit out and is willing to do it. Ughh, cant wait to rewatch this.
Same thing with Mary tbh, having her basically have to be honest about herself and having all this hope for a future where she can be happy and not have to keep hunting til she dies, and knowing that she doesn't have to become(and won't I think) SPN!Mary means I can see her talk about all of these things without wanting to cry. And yea, I can def see SPN!Mary in her clearly, the trying to stay detached due to her grief, the hardened hunter, the taking the initiative and not taking no for an answer whether that's good or back. But she hasn't yet lived through one death and the loss of her whole life so she can still hold onto her dreams and try to achieve them.
Now Lata and Carlos on the other hand tho were always fun. But knowing them already mean I can enjoy all the minute work that builds their chracters even from the get go and also made me realize just how much they also grow throughout the season. Still my faves tho. Like Carlos' entrence is another spn iconic entrence tbh. And also also just... the sheer disaster that Carlos is in the Pilot speaks to me personally. And Lata instantly endears me to her, she's sassy from the get go, but more reserved in the Pilot. U can see the strength and and courage and ... just potential these two have cuz it's all already therw, but it's being held back in the Pilot, they don't yet have a support system aka Carlos is in a lone wolf vibe where they cant afford to let people close and Lata just lost hers not too long ago and with Maggie, she also kinda lost and is losing Mary.
I genuinely forgot Millie's intro was pretty harsh initially. Like I knew ep 2 has the monster turning into her for a reason, but I forgot how much she reminded me of SPN!John (when he was around that is) that I had a double take. It was the passive agressive comment to John followed by soothing it with a hug and a smile thay just genuinely threw me a bit with how much of SPN!John is in her aka how much he clearly learned from her (his parenting style) which obv makes sense but damn.
There might not be too much Ada in the Pilot, but the little we do get tho and where she ends up (with Rowena ackowledging her power and herself believing in her own magic and just herself) from where we see her here with a book store and trying to lay low is phenomenal. And we have hints here of who she is, and who she grows into when she talks to John about Henry, but like with all of them its hints.
Anyways, I love this show and the Pilot is pretty chaotic but not as energizer bunny/break neck speed as I remembered, but still way faster than the rest of the show. But it does such a good job setting everyone up, both for us to understand who they are now and for us to have a jumping point to see where they end up.
And to close it, fuck is it still the best thing in the world to have Dean on the screen again. Ughh, hits just as bad this time as the 1st time. Also also, this joy really be checking the Samulet there so that Jack doesn't get close, like he really be out here on his own, fucking theripizing himself with journaling and vibing by himself in his usual hunters outfit when not being percieved and then the fashionista in him when in a crowded bus stop was like "Imma be as extra as I can be" just because he could and honestly, good for him. He's always found time for a nice outfit change when oportunity presented itself.
Long story short, I'll be writing down my thoughts this run through as they come with the episodes.
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soullessjack · 10 months
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need to know what you think of soulless jack . deranged about that whole arc.
I am so abnormal about him oh my fucking god. Literally a beast in a situation. Gnawing on him at all times. The most interesting part of it is seeing how much genuine anger and impatience and downright ruthlessness he’s capable of when the chips are down. Like, they were already hotheaded and stubborn and set to a plan but now, if anybody gets in his way he won’t fucking hesitate to remove them by whatever means he can. I mean he threw Rowena back into her apartment when she refused to help any more and literally sabotaged Baby’s engine just to keep Sam and Dean away long enough to finish the spell he’d cast specifically for them.
And it really just adds to the idea that his excessive politeness and usual mild mannerisms are truly nothing more than a performance, a robotic exaggeration of traditionally socially acceptable or likable traits displayed to gain approval, acceptance and to emulate human normality (autistic masking 101). Like we’ve seen instances of him being impatient and impulsive and all those other charming qualities beforehand, but now without a soul to help him regulate those traits he’s truly a lot more volatile than he’d ever want to admit or accept.
It’s also a major insight into the perfectionist complex he was inadvertently instilled with by Sam and Dean (and Cas, but more on the latter) at the very start.
Dean instills the notion that Jack is already inherently/biologically evil and therefore fundamentally unsalvageable, because how can you possibly fight or be saved from what you really are? His indirect comparisons of Jack to Lucifer and Cas also don’t help with this, because that leads Jack to try and emulate him and Cas as much as possible without ever finding a solid sense of who they actually are. If they can be more like Cas, they can be more good, and thus they can be accepted and gain respect + acknowledgment of their humanity.
Sam instills the notion of purpose as a means of value and worth by way of seeing Jack’s powers as a tool to save Mary (re: inter-dimensional can opener). He also instills the notion of respect and humanity as something earned through effort, but not inherent to the person. Dean can’t possibly respect Jack as a mostly-human being or respect his autonomous choice to be good; he can’t possibly respect an inherently evil monster. Jack’s humanity and goodness has to be proven with hard labor and grand gestures. Sam is also the one to tell Jack up front that he is inherently dangerous; that while they may need to protect Jack from various threats in the world, they may also need to protect the world from the threat Jack potentially poses. Dean is similar in that regard, but he affixes danger to moral standing, unlike Sam who is aware that Jack does not consciously want to be a threat.
Castiel instills a similar notion to Sam’s, wherein destiny and affixed purposes within greater plans act as complete justifications for everything; for unconditional love, for unwavering faith, for actions, etc. He and Kelly both wanted Jack to live because they shared the idea that he could bring paradise on earth, and nothing more. Re: emulation of a better person and purpose as value, Jack now thinks they have to be just like Castiel, that they have to accomplish the grand scale cosmic miracle Kelly dreamed of in order to ever be truly good or worthy or to continue being loved by his chosen father (and to make Kelly’s death actually he worth her sacrifice). I think this explains why they butt heads with Cas most often, as well as their overt retaliation against his defense in Moriah. His unwavering faith is not in Jack as a person or as they really/already are, but as what he believes Jack can be.
In some form or another, all of the parental figures Jack has view him as a tool for something (except Mary, I’m pretty sure she was the only one to actually see him as a kid). All of this culminates to mold an extremely skewed view of morality for Jack, where he personally denotes evil/monstrosity to anyone or anything that intentionally kills and harms innocents, whether they’re human or not. He also denotes goodness/humanity to Sam and Dean, to hunting, to killing the aforementioned evil innocent-murdering monsters, to protecting and saving. Mia Vallens also instills that inherently monstrous traits can be utilized for good like her closure shifting, and as such Jack throws themself into hunting, into the role of a protector, of a hero that crushes villains and always wins—because even with the burdening idea that they may be ontologically evil and fundamentally unlovable in their true nature, they can be loved and accepted and achieve some semblance of goodness through purpose, destiny, and utilization of their nature for good.
Thus, Jack cannot handle failure of rejection, because he objectively views every failure and rejection as proof that he cannot be anything he’s tried to be. If he fails to protect his loved ones or to be more like Cas and The Winchesters, then he’s failed to fulfill the purposes and destinies that he sees as a reflection of his own self worth, ergo his true nature must be evil. Then it comes to a full on collision stop when he lashes out at Mary and inadvertently kills her. and every single fear, every single basis of the rejection Jack has faced, everything they spent their entire life fighting to prove wrong, was proven right. They are hopelessly genetically evil, they cannot meet their affixed purposes and ergo they have no value. His powers can’t be utilized for good as he’d intended, only for destruction and death. All these interlacing notions just get worse with their actions under Duma’s manipulation, because he’s just happily killed more innocents, and despite having the heartbreakingly good intention of making the world a better place to make up for Mary’s botched resurrection, the action outweighs the intent entirely.
The Moriah script specifically notes how truly unhappy Jack is with being soulless and with Dean being right, because he never wanted this. He never consciously wanted to hurt the people he considers to be all he has in the world, or to cause as much harm as he ended up doing, but to kill and destroy is the inherent nature of all monsters, so he essentially takes his failures and actions as insurmountable proof that he is truly helplessly evil, whether he consciously wants to be like this or not.
Despite how dysfunctional and harmful TFW ended up being to Jack’s development, I do also think that his soulless arc reflects his attachment to them in the best worst way possible; the fact that he genuinely loves this ragtag handful of weirdos enough to not only destroy himself over them, but to destroy others for their sake….the fact that he stakes so much of his identity and livelihood on them that as soon as he gets an inkling of losing it all (ie Mary pressing that something is wrong with him) it makes him go fucking insane…::so horrendous and juicy…
I just wish more was done with him, that he’d lasted longer than four episodes and that the writing didn’t flip back and forth between “Jack is horrified by what he’s done and what it implies for his livelihood with the Winchesters as well as the long/standing question of what his true nature really is” and “Jack only logically knows what he did wrong and blames Mary completely.” As is evident with this entire post, there’s so much to be gleaned from Soulless!Jack, and also just Jack as a character I think is extremely rich in discussion.
** btw, tysm for the ask!!! I’d been looking to have something long winded posted eventually but didn’t know what to start with. too many ideas for the blorbo just ricocheting off of my inner skull walls).
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queermania · 1 year
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I'm a different anon but now I'm curious what you would have preferred they do in Dabb era with Dean's anger
hmm i think the single biggest change they could make is to not have soulless!jack kill mary and instead make dean pointing the gun at jack be the actual breaking point. so the vague shape of the last few seasons would look like this:
everything is the same up until right before jack burns off his soul
jack burns off only some of his soul, enough to be concerning, but not enough to actually make him soulless/lose control (the situation with his soul and what to do about it will be a big pressing concern going forward, just another worry added to the pile)
mary dies while on a hunt in a way that is seemingly nobody's fault but is still obviously a huge emotional blow (for the record i would not kill mary off in an ideal scenario but i know that they had to kill her off for understandable sam smith reasons so that's why i'm leaving it in here)
dean and cas get in a fight that is explicitly a culmination of both of their communication issues and has nothing to do with jack and/or mary
the divorce arc still happens (but this time jack is like a confused kid whose parents are getting divorced and they both have to assure him they still love him and its not his fault etc etc)
the makeup still happens but it includes an actual discussion of their actual issues and in the process cas confesses, summoning the empty. ideally, it would be because dean reciprocates but i'm trying to be plausible here so the general vibe would still be the same (and it would have nothing to do with billie because if i'm rewriting this shit, billie is not gonna be a villain! we can find another way to work around lisa's pregnancy!)
after the confession, chuck tries to manipulate dean into thinking that jack is dangerous and that he's the reason that cas is dead again. that everything is jack's fault. that he's burned off all of his soul. that the only way they can all get off this hamster wheel is for jack to die.
dean points the gun at jack. he doesn't want to kill jack but he doesn't want to do this anymore. he just wants it all to be over and if god says this is the way to do it, who is he to argue (he's dean winchester! but he's so broken down at this point)
jack still gets on his knees because he's nothing if not a winchester willing to sacrifice himself.
dean is horrified when he sees jack on his knees in front of him, waiting to be executed, and turns the gun on chuck instead
this leads to the reveal that chuck is the Big Bad and that he sucks. chuck is the reason mary died. he added one extra unaccounted-for vampire or whatever at the last minute and that's why mary died. amara giveth and chuck taketh. he just wanted to see what would happen.
salmondean and jack decide they have to kill god, obvi. instead of spending a season just kind of vaguely stressing over THE THREAT OF GOD DESTROYING ALL OF CREATION while not really doing much about it, they spend one or two episodes figuring out a plan.
15x20 is them defeating chuck. maybe they release all of chuck's power into the universe or maybe amara absorbs him and then her and billie live happily ever after. i don't care. but jack doesn't become god. the series ends with sam saying something about how now that chuck is gone they really can do whatever they want, and dean and jack share a look that is very much What We Want To Do Is Get Cas Back And We're Going To Start Working On That Right Now.
something like that? i know this isn't perfect but it it's a general idea of a narrative trajectory that i would find a lot more satisfying while still being something that they would've actually been allowed to do
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