—Superman and Lois, "Fail Safe"

Superman and Steel

not alot of jon love in these prompts so could u pretty pls do 214 w him and a soft catwoman reader? 🥺 maybe they're having a one night stand on a rooftop and they both kinda don't want it to end, even if they're enemies?

214. "Take it off slowly," with Jon Kent.

i just reread all of the unity saga, so you got me at the perfect time!! I'm obsessed w that one panel where Jon’s about to punch Zod in space... my king 👑 fuck it I'm putting it here

You never imagined that Superman would be this soft.

Being called the Man of Steel, along with being literally invulnerable, implied that his skin was like metal. You imagined it was callousless, and impossibly, terrifyingly still, like any moment his grip could tighten and crush you into powder. That’s how the cellmates across from you in Arkham had described it. You personally doubted that Superman was this gentle with them.

In reality, his skin was smooth and his hands did have callouses, floating over your sides and squeezing your hips with heaps of control. With that much strength you figured it would be impossible to be gentle (it was impossible for you to touch a bubble without popping it, and to him, you must’ve been a frail one), and yet Superman was nothing but. His nails stroked gently at your thighs. His thumbs pressed into your belly. His hips rolled up into yours, his whole body coiled with pleasure. The only time you glimpsed even a little of his strength was when he pulled you back onto him, filling you up with a satisfied moan.

“Fuck,” you mewled. He was the biggest you’d ever been with.

For all his superspeed, you went slow. Superman was spread out beneath you, gauntlets thrown aside with your catsuit, his cape the only layer between your bodies and the concrete. You bounced in his lap like you had plenty to take out on him, which you did. This was the third time he’d stopped one of your heists. His little gift to you was letting you off easy instead of turning you in, but you knew he wouldn’t waste another opportunity to arrest you. This was the last straw. You may be stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, but all his stupid Kryptonian ears heard was stealing.

You hated him. A part of you truly did. But he was gorgeous and forgiving and sweet, sweeter than anyone had ever been to you, and you knew in your heart that he only fought you because of the law. You hated him, but he felt so good.

Scowling, you sunk your nails into the padding of his chest and dragged, dragged, dragged across that stupid symbol until you felt his bare abs clench. Even with your claws on, you couldn’t hurt him. He always joked that you treated him like a scratching pole, but there was this air to his voice that made you feel like he enjoyed it. Like maybe he even craved it.

Superman scooped up your hands in one of his and lifted, sitting up with your arms around his neck. Looking at him in the eye flushed your sensitive core with shame, but you still had your mask to hide behind. He didn’t. His cheeks were rosy and his lips were shiny from all the aggressive kissing you’d done. Sweetly, he sunk you deeper, rooting you to the base of his cock, and kissing you warmly. Superman tasted like cream chapstick and love. The third time his nose bumped the edge of your goggles, he swore.

You didn’t tell him you were close, but he knew anyway. Superman slowed, your limbs numb with adrenaline and lust, and tried to meet eyes with you behind your mask.

“W-wait,” he panted. Brave as ever, Superman gestured to your mask, “Take it... take it off. Slowly. I-I want to see your face.”

He’d seen it before. Still, you snapped back at him, “Why?”

“You get to see mine,” Superman soothed. His big, welcoming palm cupped your cheek, stroking your face like you were a precious treasure - not the thief stealing it instead. As the moment went on, you felt less like you were sitting in his lap and more like you were being hugged. Embraced.

“It doesn’t matter,” you replied, bitter, “we don’t even know each other’s names.”

Superman laid back on his hands, offended, and twisted his fingers in the cape you were using as a blanket. He looked at you like he knew this was going to be over soon, and both of you would be back to fighting any minute. He looked at you like that wasn’t what he wanted.

Softly, he said, “My name is Jon.”

Really? Jon is all you could come up with? You wanted to spit in his face. But he sat there like he’d pried open his chest for you to see his heart, like he was telling the truth - and as much as you hated him, you knew Superman never lied. 

His real name really was Jon.

When it hit you that Superman’s secret identity was now in your possession, you paused. The filthiness of fucking him like this drained out of you, first until you were hollow, then again until you were brimming with the compulsion to kiss him as wildly and romantically as you could. You hated him. But no one had ever treated you like this before.

In one pull, you slipped off your lenses and your cowl.

“...Y/N.”

Jon tested the name in his mouth. “Y/N, huh... I like that. It’s beautiful.”

You ignored him. Fisting your hands in his hair, you dragged him into a desperate, lasting kiss. Jon woke up for whatever daydream he was in and swooped his arms around your middle, groaning as you both started to move again. His throbbing cock rolled perfectly into your slick, filling your every ridge like it was meant for him, like you were meant for him. Supe—Jon, helped you on and off him, slanting your lips together in a starved dance. Your pussy ached more and more with every thrust. Even if this was faster than before, you felt your belly surge with butterflies. This wasn’t fucking. You were making love.

Soon, those butterflies were replaced with a hot, filling liquid. Jon parted from your lips to shudder and moan through his orgasm, spurred by your own. Every clench of your cunt drew more of him inside you. Once his cum flowed, it didn’t seem to stop, filling you the womb and brimming over until your lap was caked. It drooled from your pussy and hung from your thighs in sticky heaps. You clutched the trail of your orgasm as you held him - like you never wanted it to end.

Jon collapsed backwards, catching the breath he didn’t need spread out on his cape. You followed, your nose flooded with the smell of his sex, your cunt sobbing with his seed, and your cheek pressed to that stupid symbol. You touched it, shamefully enamored.

Tender as ever, Jon wrapped you up in his arms and squeezed you against him.

“Y/N,” he whispered, nuzzling your hair, “could we...?”

“Yeah,” you murmured, relaxing against his chest. “Yeah, Jon, we can...”

Man of Steel

Summary: Clark Kent rescues you from certain death and the near-death experience seems to make him rather demanding for more... 

Pairing: Clark Kent x Reader (You)

Word count: 781

Warnings: Explicit! Near-death experience, oral sex, unprotected rough sex.

A/N: Remember how we talked about the fact that being the strongest man on earth Clark can probably maintain an erection for hours and fuck you till you’re about to faint? Then this. I don’t own Superman, Man of Steel or DC!!

A special thanks for @agniavateira for editing my stories! 

Title: Man of Steel

You’ve been rescued by the Man of Steel himself. He swooped you from the blast as the flames licked your feet and the ugly face of death sneered at you. 

“That makes it our fifth date, then?” He teases gently, murmuring against your ear as he holds you close against his Adonis-like form.

You are anything but amused, visibly shaking as he carries you in the air. One hand is underneath your knees while the other hugs around your chest as if you were his bride.

He lands on the top of a skyscraper. The ground feels like soft cotton beneath your feeble feet. 

His hands are still latched onto you, firm and stable at your forearms. His kind eyes seek yours.

“Hey...” he calls out gently, his fist-bumping your chin up to meet his gaze. “Don’t cry.”

You look at him, still trembling. His lips are pressed together in a small, arousing pout. That’s when you see it, that odd, twisted, dark desire shadows his eyes.  

It’s as if rescuing you from death affects him in sinister ways. It drifts from him like hypnotic mist, surrounding you and sipping inside your lungs. 

Your mind is in chaos; endless sensations run through your veins. You’re still filled with fear yet your body is heeding Clark’s call. The throbbing in your cunt is undeniable.   

You wonder if he can smell your wetness. He is Superman after all.

He can. His smile turns sinful.

Still in his grasp, he crushes you against his lips, kissing you with demand. You whimper into his mouth, feeling his hardening bulge at your lower abdomen.

Within minutes you’re both out of your clothes. Clark lays you down on the gravel of the roof while using his red cape as a blanket.

He begins by eating you out. He holds you down forcefully with his mouth, drinking the elixir between your thighs. 

His tongue is skilful and flexible as it explores your depths. His beautiful lips suckle your clit until you come exploding into bliss.

You mean to return the favour but he's already between your thighs, forcing your legs apart while his hands pin your wrists above your head.

“Tell me if it hurts.” he warns, knowing his power is not matched to yours.

He enters you hard in one thrust, forcing you to take all of him at once.

You cry out, caught up between pain and pleasure as your body stretches to suit his incredible lust.

He fucks you slow and rough, making sure you feel every inch of his large shaft as it steadily drives in and out of you.

Towering above you, Clark angles himself so he can watch how you rock back and forth beneath him.

Suddenly he increases his speed, pounding you faster, grunting loudly to let you know how good it feels inside you.

What scares you is that you know he is being gentle, yet you feel yourself falling apart by his might. The pleasure is so intense that it makes tears gather around your eyes. 

You explode around him, your body sucking him in with fierce demand, trying to squeeze his impossibly hard cock of everything he has to offer. 

But he is not done, not even close.

Soon you find yourself on your knees while he rams you as if you were some bitch. His hands are saddling your hips. His cock is forcing in and out of you, bringing you to your third orgasm. 

“Clark, please!” you whine, your body nearly collapsing from pleasure.

He places a hand on your back, lowering your head to the ground but continuing to fuck you through your climax. He gives no care to your taut muscle’s protests and helpless sobs.

You can feel him swelling larger yet he keeps going, changing the pace, deepening into you.

“Please Clark!” you cry, as another orgasm takes you over still his cock slides in and out despite your body’s protest. 

He answers with a grunt, unable to stop.

You can’t even breathe properly anymore, losing count of your orgasms as he fucks you until everything begins to hurt.

It lasts until the sun begins to rise. Your voice is nearly gone from moaning like a whore throughout the changing moon above you.

By that time, your legs are over his shoulders and he is on his knees. Finally, he comes inside you with a loud shout that rips through the sky.

He spoons you in his arms as you finally lie down. You’re spent, feeling his naked chest, sticky with sweat against your back.

“Not so bad for a fifth date, after all.” he whispers as he nibbles your ear. 

I’m still not a huge fan of Irons. But I could get behind Steel and Superman working together if it means they get to fist bump like that again.

Superman & Lois Season 1 Episode 13 "Fail Safe" Reaction

"Have you ever noticed-"

"-how punchable the mayor's face is? Yeah I have."

Spoilers below:

What I loved:

- I can kind of see the resemblances in the behaviour of young and old Morgan Edge

- John Henry Irons is just living in their barn

- THE FIST BUMP BETWEEN STEEL AND SUPERMAN

- Clark admitting there needs to be a fail safe in case he goes crazy again. Very interesting conversation

- Jonathan and John Henry Irons interactions

Made me laugh:

- Jordan saying "I have a weak immune system"

- Jordan and Sarah getting caught by state troopers lololol

- "You know you're getting kinda pushy" - John Irons to his AI

- Jonathan trying to eavesdrop on Lois and Clark's conversation and getting caught by Lois

- "We both play fast and loose with journalistic integrity from time to time" lolol Clark

- "And now I have to stay angry to scare Jordan" Lois really had to deal with so much shit this episode

- "I'm trying to move on, now that killing you isn't my singular purpose in life" - John Henry Irons

Awwwww moments:

- Jonathan admitting he dressed up as Lois one day for career day

- Jordan and Sarah are cute

Miscellaneous Thoughts:

- Tegan is the worst

- No actually Edge's dad is the worst but Tegan is a close second

- No actually the mayor is second but Tegan is still annoying

- Are...Lana and Kyle gonna leave Smallville? Is Sarah gonna leave? That would suck

- WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH MORGAN EDGE

Adventures of Superman #504 (September 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN! The three weakest Supermen team up to take on the most ridiculously overpowered one! Last issue ended with Superboy, the Man of Steel, and the long-haired Man in Black flying towards Coast City (or what used to be Coast City), and this one starts with... the same thing, because it's a long-ass trip. At least they use this time to ponder on important matters.

When they finally reach the Cyborg Superman's city-wide robo fortress, the Man in Black loots some giant guns and ammo from an alien mook. You know, just in case you forgot this comic came out in the '90s.

(Needs more pouches, though.)

While trying to hide from the 800 aliens shooting at them, the Super-Trio bump into a giant missile that's about to be launched into Metropolis. The Cyborg Superman wants to nuke the city and replace it with another giant engine, as part of his plan to turn the Earth into a massive evil spaceship (Warworld 2.0). While the Men (in Black and Steel) continue infiltrating the fortress, Superboy manages to latch on to the missile to try to stop it from reaching its destination. It's not an easy task, but after a Spider-Man #33-esque effort...

...the Kid manages to change the missile's trajectory, taking it away from Metropolis. He saved the city! And then the missile blows up anyway, right in his face. Good thing he wasn't wearing his cool jacket in these pages, because there's no way it could have survived that one. It remains to be seen if HE did.

Character-Watch:

OK, he did. I seriously feel like turning that missile is Superboy's "Spider-Man lifting the rubble" moment. He's trapped in an impossible situation and doubts himself, but then gets his shit together and pulls it off because he has no choice. It's interesting that Karl Kesel made the Kid particularly punny and vapid at the start of this issue, almost like he was daring us to be annoyed by him, only to level him up at the end. I bet a lot of Superboy haters were converted right here.

Plotline-Watch:

Superboy's Platonic Friend Tana Moon breaks down and cries on camera about Superboy's sacrifice, probably earning a juicy raise in the process.

When we get to Superboy #60 (the kickass “Hyper-Tension!” storyline), someone remind me to check my suspicion that the page with the big multiverse-crossing missile looks exactly like the page with the regular missile in this issue.

There’s a quick cameo by journalist Jack Ryder (secretly The Creeper) as a talking head on Lois Lane’s TV, alongside Superboy’s manager Rex Leech and one of the wacky Superman cultists who paint their face like the Cyborg. Look at this guy. He shaved his head but only painted the face part? Come on man, you either commit to it or you don’t!

In Engine City, Mongul gets snappy with the Cyborg Superman again, and again gets humiliated in front of everyone (Cyborg calls him a “dog”). Why do you do this to yourself? Dump him, girl!

A robot sniper almost headshots the Man in Black, only for some invisible force to yank his gun at the last moment. Hmmm. In unrelated news, Don Sparrow says: "Interesting note that Luthor II can’t find Supergirl -- I wonder where she is?" Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Don also points out: "The Man in Black asks if he can call John Henry ‘Steel’ because the Man of Steel is too much of a mouthful on their mission, setting up for his permanent name change." Steel should have said "OK, then I'll call you Black."

I'll stop cannibalizing Don's section and just hand the mic over to him. Click "read more" to keep reading!

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

We start with the cover, and it has a unique heritage.  This cover was sketched and laid out by Karl Kesel, penciled by Tom Grummett, and then inked by Doug Hazlewood, and it’s a good, accurate description of what we find in the issue—our three Supermen fighting their way into Engine City.  Added points for bringing up the pre-Crisis concept of the Superman Revenge Squad, which was actually a grouping of Superman rogues (an updated version would appear in a few years). Weirdly, editorial is still seeming to hide the Fabio-hair on Superman proper on the covers—I wonder what that’s about!

Inside the book we get our first look at a trait that defines this issue visually: grease-pencil clouds!

Max pointed this out to me when we were chatting about the issue, and I think he’s right—this book doesn’t look like it was inked in Hazlewood’s usual way.  It’s 1993, so it’s hard to imagine they could pull off “digital inking”, the practice of just darkening the pencils, but we see a pencil-like texture so often in this issue, a guy could begin to wonder if that’s maybe what they’re up to.  So for the whole issue, there is a slightly looser, rushed feel, especially in the backgrounds.  Then on the credits page, we notice a special thanks for Mark Heike—who google reveals to me is a comic artist in his own right.  Maybe he pitched in with some semi-credited inks? Smokey clouds aside, it’s another nice splash, with the returned Superman leading the charge.

A common critique of Tom Grummett’s Superman is that the way his face is drawn can look a little Conan-like, and the new long hair doesn’t help that, though in these early pages Superman is looking very on-model and handsome.

The fight (and flight) choreography as the Superman trio enters Engine City airspace is well done, and while it couldn’t be more 90s if it tried, the image of Superman double-fisting blasters and ammo belts is pretty awesome, I must say. Plus, Superboy’s assessment that it’s “slammin’” might replace Robin’s “totally rad!” as a new catch-phrase in these reviews.

The reveal of the giant rocket has a great sense of scale (and is another example of pencil-like lines still popping up on finished art).  Great sound effect there, too.

As Superboy heroically climbs up the rocket, Tom and co give a great sense of the speed, and g-forces the kid is experiencing.  And there is such a great sense of drama in these last pages, as the celebrations for the missile having missed Metropolis quickly turn to grief, as Superboy is for sure, definitely dead. [Max: Forever.]

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

Interesting to hear Steel use the phrase “a bursting shell” in relation to piercing Superman’s skin, a callback to Action #1’s description of Superman’s invulnerability, which apparently was known in-universe as well.

I love how unequivocally “Superman” they write the Man in Black in these pages.  On his first day back to civilization, he’s already saying he’d gladly die again in order to stop Warworld from taking over Earth.  Goosebumps, man!

Does Kesel have dogs on the brain?  First Henshaw calls Mongul a dog (ouch) and then just one panel later, Superboy makes his Dalmatian joke. (Note: Dalmatian is actually misspelled in the comic!) [Max: “Dalmation” does sound like some sort of Jack Kirby thing. Maybe it’s something the Kid saw at Cadmus?]

Superboy is pretty much a non-stop joke machine in these pages, as just about every panel he’s in, he’s cracking wise, so it’s hard to highlight all of them.  Some are better than others—I get that hearing the phrase “full frontal” puts Michelle Pfeiffer into his head, but “full frontal assault” just isn’t sexy. [Max: You know, 26 years later, I JUST got that one.]

GODWATCH: Steel invokes “God” when he thinks Superboy might have been burnt up in the rocket launch, and then a page later, Superman does the same when he sees the charred corpses of Henshaw’s minions. [Max: Also, I don’t think I caught the significance of John Henry’s “I know” as a kid.]

I love Superboy’s self-talk as he climbs the missile, particularly the Caddyshack-like “crowd goes wild”.  This is exactly how a kid his age would act in that crazy moment.

Lois and Clark was airing in this period, so Perry White is legally required to use Lane Smith’s “Great Shades of Elvis” catchphrase. [Max: Unfortunately they don’t have the rights anymore, so they had to change it for the collected edition...]

Fast Five

I am having slightly better turnaround times at getting to my latest installment covering the Fast and Furious franchise with today’s film being 2011’s Fast Five (trailer). The rousing success of the fifth film served as the blueprint for all the films following it until this day. I went in with no fears that it would still hold up well nearly a decade later. As mentioned in my entry for Fast & Furious, the films were starting to evolve from the core trilogy that were primarily about late night car tuner culture and street races and shift more towards implementing these rides in elaborate heists. Fast Five goes all in on this concept and minus a few subtle callbacks throughout the film, ditches the street race focus of the first three films entirely. Now the heists are at the forefront and became larger than life where director Justin Lin went on to state in the commentary he learned to ‘embrace the ridulous-ness’ and go all out with fantastical stunts that I recall leading to many popped eyes in my initial viewing in the theater.

Fast Five sees Dom (Vin Diesel), Bryan (Paul Walker) and Mia (Jordana Brewster) reunite in Brazil after freeing Dom from custody at the end of the previous film. They meet up with their old pal, Vince (Matt Schulze) who we have not seen since the original film. The four of them group up for a job involving a train that has some spectacular stunts to kick things off. During the job they discover there is more than meets the eye and they encounter the antagonist of the film by the name of Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). The four decide to assemble a team to take down Reyes and claim his millions of dollars stashed away in a vault. And thus we now have the new framework for the series where ‘Team FF’ are the ultimate pros at big jobs and work together in the name of ‘FAMILY’ to take down evil-doer crime lords. The team they assemble is a all-star roll call of supporting players from previous films including Roman (Tyrese Gibson) & Tej (Ludacris) from 2Fast 2Furious, Han (Sung Kang) from Tokyo Drift, and Gisele (Gal Gadot), Leo (Tego Calderon) & Santos (Don Omar) from Fast & Furious. To cover their bases of a gang having the prerequisite computer wiz, Tej stepped up and added pro-hacker to his resume aside from fun-party-rides guy from the second film we knew him as. They receive some unexpected assists from federal agents Hobbes (The Rock) and Elena (Elsa Pataky). They are the surviving two members of a squad of federal agents (who the Giant Bomb commentary track consistently refers to as ‘Team Wildlands’) sent from the USA to track down Dom, Bryan & Mia and haul them back to America until their squad mates met their demise from an ambush sent out from Reyes. Now with a common enemy and mutual respect between the two after an adrenaline-pumping, full-on red meat, wall-pouncing, show-stealing duel, the two alphas align in a fist-bumping moment for the ages when Hobbes & Elena help out Team FF.

Somehow, director Justin Lin managed to make this ensemble cast gel together all at once. Nearly every team member has a few pivotal scenes throughout where the spotlight is on them. I was fully invested when the team is formed by the second half and is going through the stages of setting up the ultimate end-scene safe heist. Watching them all flawlessly work together and overcome every obstacle Reyes threw at them was a ride I was thrilled to tag along in. It reminded me why I loved (some) of the Ocean films and enjoying the journey of planning everything out and trying to piece together all the little things that pay off when the heist plays out. When it comes time for Team FF to swipe Reyes’ safe from his seemingly impenetrable fortress, Fast Five did not disappoint. I recall seeing this in the theater for the first time and simultaneously thinking this is the most unrealistic way to steal a safe but also loved how brazen Lin was to simply go for it and own this scene and take you on the ultimate thrill ride unlike any other heist film before it. It was like Lin stated earlier, just roll with the balls-out nature of the film and good times will be guaranteed. As with the previous films I have been re-watching, I watched this with the commentary track from the Giant Bomb crew. Aside from them cracking me up with their ‘Team Wildlands’ nickname, their commentary has lots of fun watch-a-long insight such as regretting bringing Coronas to the viewing party after realizing Fast Five is the first film in the series not to feature them, ironic love for Paul Walker’s acting prowess and being in constant disbelief at Ludacris’s newfound tech skills. Vinny never saw the film before so hearing his reactions to the bigger stunts was a riot. I also listened to Justin Lin’s solo commentary on the BluRay and he is a pro at mastering solo commentaries with nonstop facts about the cast, crew and filming process. Some highlights include hearing the love he got from doing overseas press tours on the fourth film was what brought him back for the fifth, pointing out the tiny additions to the extended cut and being careful on where to film in Brazil.

Aside from the commentary, there are 12 bonus features totaling 75 minutes on the BluRay. About half of them are must-see. Usually most bonuses breaking down stunt scenes I am accustomed to in a lot of action films and I get kind of tone-deaf to them, but with Fast Five’s ambitious stunts I got a lot out of the bonuses detailing how they filmed the opening train heist and closing safe heist. Hearing how they got a mini-truck inside to drive the safe around was something else. There is also a recommended extra, On Set with Justin Lin, where Lin is shown behind-the-scenes hustling for the ultimate shots of what seems like a inconsequential scene from an earlier part of the film, but to see how Lin got it all come together to get the very best out of everyone was simply awesome. I got to see some of that too in the extra Dom vs. Hobbes where they dissect that fight scene and hearing how Lin halted production for two hours to hear Vin Diesel make his case for the inclusion of ONE MOVE in that entire fight goes to show the passion the cast and crew has for the brand. Overall it is a tremendous smattering of extra features to dive into! Fast Five is the reason why the franchise has been a mainstay in pop culture since that one hit theaters. If you have managed to elude the mega-popular brand all these years but have been pondering on giving one of them a chance, then make sure it is Fast Five. The later films are still good, over-the-top awesome heist films, but Fast Five is easily my runaway favorite of the series. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Days of Future Past

“One Pump Man” (A Super Sexy Crossover) (NSFW)

The following story was written for the last Content Warning: Erotic Fanfiction Death Match show (held by Mockingbird Media Entertainment) on July 7. The theme was “Superheroes and Supervillians”. Most of the internet wants to see these two insanely powerful heroes fight. Instead, I thought “what if they did...something else?” Enjoy!

It was an unusually warm and peaceful Saturday afternoon in City Z. Saitama, fully decked in canary yellow uniform and ivory cape, lazily strolled through the park. This was no ordinary dilly dally through the park, though. Saitama was scanning the area, from the playground to the water fountains, for the next twisted demigod-knows-what monster to terrorize his stomping grounds and promptly get pulverized by one of his absurdly powerful punches.

As much as his shining bald head was occupied with obligatory hero patrol duty, his heart was simply somewhere else.

The road to heroism was never an easy journey but his particular one had some unexpected downsides. Saitama was well aware of the omnipresent ennui that came with becoming practically the strongest man on the planet. Able to vanquish his foes with just a single punch, there was virtually no challenge or thrill in the fight to be found.

However, there were more…pressing problems of the intimate variety.

In the increasingly rare times in which he wasn’t training religiously, obsessively watching the news, saving half the planet from near devastation or just carrying out mundane daily tasks, he’d muster up the motivation to pleasure himself. Pleasure that would only last for a few fleeting moments. Sure, the orgasmic afterglow felt fantastic but it just wasn’t satisfying like it was before. No matter how many times he tried to slow down his stokes and switch up his techniques, it would only take a pump or two to send him reeling.

It drove him crazy in the not-so-carnal way.

Then there’s the even rarer instances in which a girl was involved. It didn’t matter how lengthy and steamy the foreplay was, how stunning she was, or even how much sexual skill she displayed, all it took was one deep thrust to bring her to quivering cosmic ecstasy. Providing he didn’t thrust hard enough to land her in the emergency room. (That happened once, but that’s another story.)

Bottom line, Saitama longed for the days when he could take his sweet, scintillating time when it came to fucking, be it was making love or just jerking himself off. Hell, he missed it dearly.

But there was just nobody to talk to about this sort of thing.

Sure, he could vent to Genos, his roommate and self appointed disciple, but for all of Genos’ incredibly impressive cybernetic enhancements, the young cyborg was severely lacking in genitals. There’s no way he could understand Saitama’s plight.

Suddenly Saitama’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud sharp ZOOM in the sky.

He looked up and spotted a royal blue blur speeding through the clouds faster than anything he had ever seen.

He scratched his head. Was it a bird? A plane?

Only one way to find out.

Saitama squatted in place and shot right up into the sky. Half a second later, Saitama discovered it was no bird or aircraft but a muscle bound man clad in blue spandex, a majestic crimson cape and an “S” emblazoned across his broad barrel of a chest.

Hm. Haven’t seen this guy at the Hero Association headquarters before. Maybe he just recently joined the ’S’ Class, Saitama pondered immediately before bumping into the flying “S” Man. The sudden impact sent the two men crashing onto a rocky mountainside. Only the snow provided some form of cushioning. Not that their incredible invincible bodies needed any in the first place.

“Hey man, are you alright?” asked Saitama, as he brushed the snow off his jumpsuit.

“Excuse me but who or what exactly are you?” the man replied defensively, his fist slowly balling up. His eyes were about to turn a fierce glowing red.

“I’m just a guy who’s a hero for fun. Sometimes profit,” Saitama stood steadfast in the snow.

The “S” Man was perplexed by the nonchalant expression on the eggheaded man’s face. But definitely not threatened as he relaxed his fist and closed his eyes.

“Very well then,” he sighed. “I’m Superman. You may look like an ordinary citizen but your powerful force indicates otherwise. It’s fascinating. Why don’t we take shelter inside that cave and we can talk some more,” he offered, motioning towards the cave burrowed into the side of the mountain.

“Okay,” Saitama calmly responded.

~ * ~ * ~

Hours had passed. The beautifully blended sunset had rendered the snow a serene mix of pink and lavender.

The two men had spent the time getting better acquainted with one another over a toasty crackling campfire; exchanging stories of different adventures and adversaries. Comfortable and unguarded, Saitama took a deep breath and looked into Superman’s steely blue eyes.

“Hey, um, can I ask you for some advice on something? It’s about…a different kind of technique,” Saitama’s cheeks turned a deep rosy shade of pink…and not from the cold.

“Of course, friend,” Superman replied, sliding closer towards Saitama. “Where do you feel your technique needs improvement?”

Saitama’s palms tensed on his knees, then released.

“Do you ever run into any problems in the bedroom? Like, in a sexual way? It’s…it’s been a problem of mine ever since I became a hero. I was just wondering if you had any methods or tips for someone like…well, me? Us?”

Superman paused for a moment, then turned to face Saitama.

“Well…I haven’t engaged in that sort of activity with too many humans…but I suspect you’re not quite the average human. I do have some moves to show you but you’re going to have to trust me on this one.”

Superman gently placed his hand on top of Saitama’s red gloved hand.

“Are you sure you want to proceed? Things will get…intense.”

Saitama nodded, determination ignited in his eyes.

“Okay.”

The flames flickered. The stars were coming out to play in the twinkling night sky. Whether it was the crisp chilled air or the nerves that were kicking in, both men shivered. Finally, Superman huddled in close and softly kissed Saitama.

“Mmmf!” Saitama moaned in surprise.

He’d never had another man’s lips pressed against his before but this was something different. Exciting even. Lord knows he was craving some excitement lately.

“W-was that alright for you?” asked Superman shyly.

Saitama immediately put his fears to rest with a deeper kiss. The deeper the kisses got, the more they wanted to experiment and explore each other.

As their hot wet tongues tangled together tantalizingly, Saitama ran his hands through Superman’s tousled black hair. Superman broke from the lip lock to slide his hands up Saitama’s back. He removed the bald man’s cape and tossed it to the side.

“Still want to proceed?” he huffed.

“Yes,” sighed Saitama.

Superman leaned in for another kiss, slowly sucking Saitama’s lower lip between his teeth. As Saitama groaned in delight, Superman slowly pulled the zipper down Saitama’s jumpsuit. He pulled down the top, revealing Saitama’s scrumptiously sculpted torso. Superman swirled his tongue around Saitama’s hardening nipples, feeling the goosebumps rise under his tastebuds. He continued to trace his tongue down Saitama’s silky torso, from his sleek pecs to each rock hard ab running down his stomach until he reached the harder bulge below the belt.

He yanked off the belt and tossed it off to the side. Saitama breathed hard and heavy, quivering in anticipation.

Superman reached for the raging erection inside Saitama’s pants and gripped it firmly in his hands. He gasped. Normally a grip like this would shatter someone’s skull but here Saitama was, still alive and reeling in ecstasy. A grin crept upon his square jaw.

He tugged Saitama’s smooth cock from his black briefs and began to pump slow, steady strokes.

Saitama gasped. He was amazed. Ecstatic. For the first time in ages, he didn’t ejaculate in an instant! It brought a genuine joyful smile to his face. The hardest he had smiled in ages.

“This is good for you, I see?” noted Superman.

“Yes! Yes!! Oh my god. You have no idea!” beamed Saitama, in between heavy fluttering breaths.

“Excellent…” Superman growled under his breath as sped his stokes up.

The sensation was unlike anything Saitama had experienced before. Sure, he and a few girls in the past had jerked him off before but this? Practically supernatural.

“You’re handling this unlike anyone I’d ever seen,” smiled Superman, impressed that this human being hadn’t exploded in his palms yet.

What he didn’t expect was for Saitama to pull him in and kiss his neck with such ferocity.

“Can’t be the only one having fun here,” Saitama murmured seductively as he ripped off the Man of Steel’s cape.

He stripped the spandex suit off of Superman, caressing and kissing every inch of his godly breathtaking physique.

Guy must do more than just 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats and a 10k run everyday, Saitama thought as he licked the sweat rolling down Superman’s shredded stomach muscles.

Finally, he reached the pulsating pleasure python hiding in his red briefs. Saitama got down on his knees and pulled down the briefs, springing forth the thick throbbing cock into his face.

He licked the head like a melted ice cream cone before taking the lengthy lust rocket into his mouth. Superman’s howls and roars of randy rapture were music to Saitama’s ears as his tongue ran along the veins of the hot, salty rod inside his mouth. Curious to see what other sounds this man could make, Saitama’s hands reached towards Superman’s round tight ass. Squeezing a bun of steel with one hand, he slid his finger inside the hole hidden between his cheeks.

“AAAAAAHHHHH!!!” Superman yelped in surprise.

All of a sudden, the ground began to shake. Shockwaves from Superman’s aroused screams caused rubble to fall from the top of the cave and put out the fire. Of course, having dealt worse catastrophes, this didn’t even phase the two heroes.

“Didn’t like that?” Saitama apologized.

“Actually, I think you’re ready for the final test,” Superman declared with a mischievous glint in his eye.

With that, he immediately pinned Saitama down onto his crumpled cape on the ground with a mighty thud. Adrenaline rushed through their veins, hearts pounded and cocks swelled.

“Ready?” Superman purred into Saitama’s ear.

“Fuck yeah…more than anything,” Saitama whispered, low and guttural.

With his fist vigorously groping Saitama’s cock, Superman spat into his free hand.

“He we go…”

Superman let go of Saitama’s cock and spread his thick legs apart. He took his wet hand and placed his palm between Saitama’s cheeks. He trembled feeling Superman spread the saliva all over his completely exposed hole. The brand new sensations sent waves of pleasure throughout his body.

However, nothing could prepare him for what was about to happen next.

“If you thought sliding a finger inside me would bring me to my knees, you haven’t felt anything yet…” boomed Superman as he eased his boa cockstricter inside Saitama’s super sensitive hole.

Saitama shrieked, not out of pain but with excitement. Never had he felt so alive with every thrust Superman pounded into his ass. As the butt-fucking commenced, the earth began to shake. The cave crumbled all around them and snow started whirling around their glistening bodies like a cyclone. Thunder rumbled in the air. As if the experience couldn’t get heightened enough, Saitama reached down and put Superman’s masturbation techniques into practice.

Who knows if it was the brewing storm surrounding them, the speed and velocity of Saitama’s hand, their balls slapping together or Superman’s massive cock pumping in and out of his ass, Saitama just couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Uhhhhh!! Ohwaaaaahhh!! Aaaaaahhh!!! AAAAAHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!” he wailed and writhed just before the final climax.

“I WANNA BE THE STRONGEST HEROOOOOO!!!!”

The cyclone parted. Lightning tore through the clouds. Avalanches hurtled down the mountainside. Creamy white cum shot straight from Saitama’s cock into the sky and exploded like a firecracker.

Saitama didn’t have too long to bask in the afterglow because at that moment, Superman reached his orgasmic peak. As Superman’s spasms caused more environmental aftershocks, gooey liquid love oozed from each of Saitama’s orifices.

Once he came down from that hedonistic high, Superman gently slid out of the hole and looked down at Saitama. Both of them panting, sweating, glowing and miraculously still alive.

They each sighed a breath of relief.

After a moment of blissful silence, Saitama slowly sat up.

“Well…that was definitely a memorable training session to say the least. By the way, what did you say your name was again?”

Superman rose and leaned in close to Saitama’s ear.

“Kal-El…”

The End

Booking a shield reunion

I'm bored and the wwe seems like they're gonna do it anyway so here we go Next week It's announced Roman is in a fatal four way at summerslam and when he goes backstage both dean and Seth try to congratulate him but he flashes out "Don't try to talk to me when you're running around with that scumbag" he says point to Seth and then runs out Next week Seth does an open apology to Roman while dean is in the ring, much like he did dean. But Roman doesn't respond, even as the crowd chants his name he stays in the back And Seth says "roman you can't avoid what happened man, it's been 3 years and we've never worked this out, even dean and I had our matches over it. But you and me? We've only fought over belts and partnered in random tag matches. I know what I did was wrong but we've all got to accept that it happened" Then Roman storms out and he says "I don't need you Seth" and he goes to walk away but Seth grabs his shoulder and Roman doesn't hesitate to lay him out with a superman punch as the crowd boos he looks at dean and says "Leave me alone or next time it'll be you too" and he goes backstage The next week he does a sit down interview with Corey graves as one of the competitors in the universal title fatal four way. One of the things Corey asks is about this whole Seth Rollins ordeal and he says "I washed my hands with that little shit when he hit me in the back with a steel chair, I'm never gonna trust him again" And the he asks about his long time friendship with dean and how that's affected by his words last week and Roman says "me and dean went through the destruction of the shield together he's my brother but if he wants to run with Seth again that's his mistake, I won't let him drag me back into it" In the next few weeks the storylines diverge as dean and seth go back to dealing with miztourage and Roman goes back to the title. As summerslam rolls around dean and Seth are victorious. Later in the night during the title match Roman and Brock are fighting on the outside when dean and Seth come and attack Brock from behind and the trio perform a triple power bomb to Brock through the table, and dean and Seth put their fists in a for a fist bump but Roman blows them off, right into a reverse choke slams from Braun, and the joe comes to lock in the koquina clutch and makes Braun pass out to win the universal title. Roman is pissed and he blames Seth and dean for his loss and confronts them in the ring the following night. When he gets in seths face dean steps in and says "If you want that scumbag you've got to go through me" And Roman punches him and the two start trading blows and Seth steps and pulls them apart. A match is made for later that night between the two, but the match is thrown out after the two won't listen to the official. So Kurt announced at clash of champions it'll be a street fight between Roman and dean with Seth as the special referee Now Roman assumes he's going to be screwed over with a fast count or something but his assured that that won't be the case, now fast forward to clash of champions and the street fight is a true street fight there backstage hitting each other with whatever they can get their hands on, bouncing each other off of cars in the parking lot, and many other things. Roman nails dean with a super man punch and readies a spear, dean dodges and sends romans skull through a car window and as Roman recoild he nails him with dirty deeds on hard concrete and pins him as Seth counts it. 123 Now Roman isn't there the next night because he's nursing injuries. And Kurt angle announces that they'll be a number on contenders match between dean Ambrose and Finn Balor in the main event of the nights episode of raw. Dean wins that and will face samoa joe in a ladders match at TLC. The next week Roman comes back and his livid about his loss to dean, and then Seth comes out and says "this isn't the Roman that was my brother, this isn't the Roman that beat triple H in the main event of wrestle mania to win the world title, this isn't the Roman that retired the undertaker, this isn't the guy, this isn't the big dog, this right here is a little bitch" A chairs match is made between the two because A) there two talented individuals who can make the otherwise trash stipulation work B) because of the whole steel chair narrative So at TLC Roman and Seth are going at it and the Seth nails Roman with the knee and Roman falls to a one knee and Seth picks up and chair and looks and Roman, and he decides that he can't hit him with a chair again, he just can't it's too big a burden to carry. So instead he hits him with a shining wizard but Roman kicks out, that recover Roman hits him with a spear, picks up a chair and beats Seth to death with it then he gets a pile of chairs and Samoan drops him on top of them before he pins Seth and then buries him in steel chairs Later that night both dean and joe are on the ladder trying to get the belt when Roman reigns jumps the barricade and rushes the ring as both men look at him ready to see what he's gonna do, and then he knocks joe off the ladder super man punches him and throws him out of the ring allowing dean to win the title. The next night Roman says dean will always be my brother whether we fight or not , but I'm still coming for his universal title Seth comes to romans locker room and says "I'm not here for a fight I'm came her to shake your hand and congratulate you on a job well done" and Roman looks him in the eye and shakes his hand. At survivor series dean and joe are in a rematch so that leaves Roman and Seth to recruit for the singles match against smackdown this year They recruit braun strowman, Finn Balor, and bray Wyatt and Kurt adds the stipulation that all the survivors get a shot at the universal title at the December pay per view, it's the same for the tag team and women's bouts So on the smack down side of things I thing Jinder mahal had long since lost his title So the their team would consist of shinsuke nakamura, Aj styles, Tye Dillinger, Kevin Owens, dolph ziggler Becaus world champion baron Corbin is defending against Sami zayn During the match Kevin owned and dolph ziggler begin to assault Seth Rollins and Roman reigns rushes to his aid, and the final two are Roman reigns and Seth Rollins against shinsuke nakamura. While Seth is the legal man shinsuke nakamura stars running house and has Roman lined up for a Kinshasa when Roman jumps in the way and gets pinned. Allowing Seth to take out shinsuke and win it for raw The next night Seth goes to shake his hand for essentially giving up a title shot but Roman shakes his head and sticks his fist out and they fist bump Now Seth and dean face off at December and dean retains after a grueling match when Roman comes out and raises both of their hands and they all do the triple fist bump at royal rumble dean would defend the title against an opponent like braun strowman and would win via shield shenanigans and In the rumble match the final five would be Seth, Roman, Finn, baron Corbin (who's since lost his title to nakamura), and Aj styles styles wins and goes on to wrestlemania. And the next pay per view would be elimination chamber if I'm not mistaken. But the shield seems stronger than ever and Kurt books the elimination chamber match with dean Seth Roman Finn joe and his son Jason Jordan Now no one knows better than the shield that they're gonna have to compete against each other so when the match comes they're not burdened by this. It comes down to dean and Finn and dean comes out on top So at wrestlemania I think the money match on the raw side of things would be Dean Ambrose vs Jason Jordan or Finn balor somewhere along those lines while Roman and Seth challenge for tag team gold and they all come up with a victory