#Fenris is also there but he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t have like. any power to affect Meredith’s actions
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thinking about. post Arishok duel. Anders healing Hawke (difficult) (extensive healing needed) (takes an uncomfortably long time) in front of the nobles and the Templars. Meredith holding them back, allowing Anders to heal her newly appointed Champion (for appearance’s sake)(can’t let him die)(the nobles are watching), but as soon as he’s done, she has her Templars move in to arrest him
but Carver (Templar)(does not like Anders)(clutching his brother’s (bloody, unconscious but alive) body) says No, actually, we can’t arrest him, because he’s a Grey Warden and outside our jurisdiction
and Aveline (guard captain)(never liked Anders)(loyal to Hawke) steps in and says He’s right, I’ve been aware of Anders’ assignment the whole time, I’d be happy to show you the paperwork except my office has been destroyed by the invasion that just happened, and the paperwork along with it :/
so Meredith (in public) (watched by nobles (who for once are on the mages (heroes) side)) relents. lets Anders stay free
#idk. people who dislike and disagree with Anders stepping in to help keep him free#in a few days they’ll go back to griping and being bitchy at each other#but today they can band together. help each other#for the city’s sake. for Hawke’s sake#Anders#carver hawke#aveline vallen#Meredith stannard#this has been a post#dragon age#Fenris is also there but he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t have like. any power to affect Meredith’s actions#but he is ready for a fight#in this instance at least he will defend Anders if it comes to that
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wait when were zev and anders called slurs? :o i haven't played any mlm romance!
homophobia banter highlight reel i guess. shoutout to seb for making it on here because varric has something deeply wrong with him and is exclusively homophobic to the one of like two not openly bisexual people in his friend group
in general my point is that like. this was homophobic. if people didnt. uh. clock that oghren’s violent reactions and references to manskirt-wearing freaks were that. i’m using oghren as my main example because he’s the most overt. (generally orzammar’s dedication to lineage throughout the castes seems to give it more rigid gender and sexuality roles; there’s also significantly more overt sexism.) with zev and anders, it’s also compounded by fantasy racism and prejudice, in particular that male elves and male mages are both seen as effeminate in southern thedas. this isn’t just oghren. uh, for example, if a male hawke romances anders or fenris, gamlen, who iirc is as directly homophobic as it gets in da2, will make the comment “i guess i don’t have to ask which one of you’s the girl”. he’ll also make a fetishising comment about female hawke and isabela
otherwise. uh what might people not have clocked. zevran only flirts with a female warden in his introductory scene, due to his real, not unfounded concern that it will make a male warden more uncomfortable with him and, let’s not put too fine a point on it, thus more likely to kill him. zevran’s discussion of being bisexual himself is incredibly loaded and as i recall involves a fair bit of internalised something. from my delvings into the toolset, if you romance him as a man, you seem to have countless opportunities to break off the relationship specifically saying it’s because you’re both men and you can’t do this, including as late as the second time he offers you the earring. generally the male warden romancing zevran has a lot of internalised homophobia coded dialogue options when you ask him about his sexuality and when others ask you about the relationship—you can express dismay that zevran has told anyone, for example, while asking leliana not to say anything—and it’s fairly heavily implied that you’re likely to be more unfamiliar with such things
with anders, the most glaring example off the top of my head is that he doesn’t tell female hawkes about karl. a lot of the gendered differences in the anders romances are from homophobia/biphobia on a writing level as well, but considering that we’re not buying into “playersexual” nonsense i think it’s also fair to read this in-world as anders choosing not to bring that up to a woman who’s interested in him/someone he doesn’t know he has this in common with. the dialogue again treats anders as more experienced and gives male hawkes the opportunity to act surprised/uncertain even when they are the one to flirt first
this is basically just. if you didn’t clock that, that’s going on here! in general, heterosexuality is an assumed norm in thedas, and particularly characters coded as andrastian and fairly naive/inexperienced like alistair or bethany will express surprise or confusion about it and not pick up on implications. particularly noble characters will be expected to continue bloodlines and make political unions, for example, the inability of a female warden to marry anora or a male warden to marry alistair, even though it’s possible to do the m/f version of those political marriages without any kind of romance. that’s a pragmatic concern about the succession in a world that values bloodlines and thus comes with a certain heteronormativity. at the same time, there’s not so deep a stigma as you might expect if directly translating from our world, so to speak; it’s much more about the hope of continuing families and the importance of that in this world than there seeming to be any kind of explicit religious stigma? although it should be noted that the andrastian story focuses on andraste and the maker in what is treated as an m/f marriage and might be considered an ideal
for example, leandra will make an offhand, semi-teasing comment about finding hawke an opposite gender spouse, which i think is her hope of hawke managing to settle into kirkwall noble society and continue the family line when there is, in most worldstates, little to no hope of the other surviving hawke sibling having children. but at the same time, she’s casually accepting of hawke being in a queer relationship, will lightly mention it in dialogue, and makes no comment about anders or merrill moving in. i’d take that as kind of a baseline level of understanding for southern thedas, though it also varies from nation to nation, culture to culture, person to person, and class to class
i hope that makes it clearer ??
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The thing about Hawke being champion of Kirkwall is... They have to be getting marriage proposals literally constantly. Some in person, but most in the mail, letters from families both in and out of Kirkwall asking for Hawke to marry either them or their heir. Hawke has never once given any of these families indication that they would WANT to marry into them, but that doesn’t stop them from trying
And if Hawke was involved with one of their companions, even married to them instead, these proposals wouldn’t stop. They’d be involved with/married to an elf, an apostate, an elven apostate, or a pirate, none of which nobility would consider “legitimate” matches.
So uh, here’s how I think Hawke’s potential LIs would respond to seeing one of these proposal letters
- Merrill insists on writing back to them herself, which Hawke is skeptical of, explaining that they don’t need to send back a response, the silence is a response in and of itself. But Merrill is very presistant “Oh, but ma vhenan it’s only polite. They took the time to write the letter, we should say something :)” and Hawke is finally like sure. What’s the harm. Go nuts. So she does! She spends hours dilegently replying to each one, and Hawke sends them out without looking at them cause they promised, y’know? Then... the letters start coming a bit more slowly, and then... not at all. Which Hawke doesn’t mind but they do wonder. They ask one day, and Merrill says she just thanked them for reaching out but that Hawke was not interested, and a “few other things.” She never said the nature of the “few other things.” One of the noble families fled their mansion in terror a week later.
- Anders burns the first one he finds, kind of impulsively, he finds himself being more annoyed that he’s being so blatantly ignored by these people than he would’ve expected. He’s a bit... embarrassed about it honestly. He somewhat sheepishly admits to Hawke he found a proposal letter and burnt it before Hawke could read it. Hawke is not annoyed by it like Anders is, Hawke is FURIOUS that Anders is being so disrespected by these rich bastards. FURIOUS. To the point that Anders has to be the one to calm them down. Anders is given free reign to burn any letters that come after, which is kind of a middle ground because Hawke wanted to go burn down their houses, so y’know. Compromises!
- Isabela straight up catfishes them. But Isabela knows how this “arranged marriages” business works, especially fancy noble arranged marriages, and that’s dowries. So, so many dowries. She scams at least twelve noble families out of hundreds of sovereigns. No. Hawke has no idea. They don’t find out until there’s almost a diplomatic incident between Kirkwall and some Orlesian family cause they sent a dowry of 800 sovereigns and Hawke never showed up to the wedding and they were sending threats. Only then does Isabela fess up. Hawke thinks this is hilarious but also doesn’t want to fight off Orlais clown assassins forever and asks Isabela to stop. Varric is so impressed by how well Isabela writes as Hawke he asks her to help on his book.
- Fenris... doesn’t care. Like. I’ve been sitting here thinking of some sort of funny story but there is just not a reality where Fenris cares. What? You think he feels threatened by Lord Tantervale Chantryman sending a betrothal letter to Hawke? No, if anything he uses them to practice reading because they’re wonderfully entertaining. Hawke hears muffled laughter from the library one day and finds Fenris reading a betrothal letter with a Starkhaven seal on it and they just... keep walking.
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age 2#da2#FenHawke#Handers#Hawke/Isabela#Hawke/Merrill#hawke x isabela#hawke x merrill
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Spoilers for the side couples in HOFAS
I’m seeing a lot of people surprised about the romance direction for the side characters in HOFAS, in that Tharion is with Sathia, Ithan may be with Perry, and Hypaxia doesn’t have a clear LI but could return to Celestina. A lot of people thought Tharion and Ithan had something. Prior to HOSAB, people also thought Hypaxia and Tharion may have something. Ithan and Perry seem a bit random and even boring at this time (IMO of course!) and I wonder if, and this may sound crazy, Sigrid is still in the cards to be his LI (if not the villain of his story?). Anyway, this all got me thinking, I think certain people should keep in mind that SJM writes friendships somewhat… oddly. There’s chemistry in her platonic friendships. In HOEAB, Hypaxia blushes and laughs with Tharion leading people to think there may be something. Ithan and Tharion seemed like they could be a pair. In ACOTAR, Cassian is very flirty with not only Mor (buys her lingerie at her request), but even with Feyre. He brushes his wing against Feyre’s shoulder in ACOSF, mentally noting that it’s something sexual for Illyrians but he needs the physical contact to feel close to people. In ACOMAF, Azriel’s shadows stroke Feyre’s face (!!?), leading Rhys to give them a dirty look (this is before Feysand get together). In HOFAS, Azriel hugs Nesta, strokes her hair, and thanks the Mother for her. Bryce even says it felt too intimate to watch. Hell, in HOSAB Tharion kisses Bryce on the mouth and it’s considered a funny little bit. I’m sure there’s countless more examples, but I just think Gwynriels should think about all these things when they look at the bonus chapter. There’s no romantic chemistry between Azriel and Gwyn. Any chemistry is platonic (though I don’t even think that). It’s surprising to me what people consider romantic these days.
I mean, Fenrys and Aelin! HELLO?!?
That relationship can rival Rowaelin.
Cassian and Feyre, who broke down in front of him during training, who gets drunk with him, who fights with him and flies with him.
Feyre and Lucien, for that matter as well.
Aelin and Dorian--don't even know what the heck that was?
Everything you mentioned in CC--how many people thought that it would be Aidas and Bryce! Hypaxia and Tharion! Hypaxia and Ithan! Ithan and Bryce! All of these were flirty enough, suggestive enough that they were taken as possible ships by the readers.
And Gwynriel is very much in the same vein. Readers just failed to read between the lines, because so many of them haven't ready any of SJM's previous or subsequent books and only fixated on ACOSF. Some haven't read anything but the Bonus chapter. So they don't understand how she writes friendships (weirdly, I agree) between men and women. They took Gwynriel as a real romantic possibility--and it was never that and never meant to be that. I think it's actually the least flirty of all of her friendships. But they fell for it.
That's why you should learn how a writer operates, not just listen to TikToks, and not skip whole books because someone told you that they aren't necessary.
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I know it’s uncomfortable to look at and think about the emotional intensity of Fenris’s trauma bond to Danarius, but how does Fenris’s character even begin to make sense if he wasn’t a huge simp for the guy? Why did he kill all those fog warriors if he didn’t just idolise Danarius to the moon? Why did he stand around pouring glasses of wine while slave children were being used as blood sacrifices? Why is he so afraid of a relationship with Hawke (someone also in a position of power over him) if he doesn’t inherently understand his capacity to eclipse his own personhood and do terrible things just because someone he loves tells him to? Why does he lie in act 1 about how if Danarius doesn’t come hunting him, he’ll return to Tevinter to kill him? Or lie about how his only value to Danarius is the lyrium Danarius is apparently going to skin him for? If he had no affection for Danarius, why doesn’t he deny it when Danarius says as much during Alone? And beyond that- Why did Danarius wipe his memories, isolate him from his family and other slaves, and brainwash him, if he didn’t intend to create someone wholly dependent on him, who loved him alone and obeyed orders without question?
Look, I’m not happy that this ↑ is the only lengthy portrayal we get of a Tevinter slave in these games. I think it’s a real disservice that ‘slave who loved their master’ and ‘slave who repeats white man’s burden rhetoric verbatim about how he is mages are dangerous and need someone looking after them’ is the guy given the biggest voice. I would love to see more slaves and ex-slaves (and, lbr, people of colour) with a greater sense of ambition and their own agency, who never bought into the trap of trauma bonding with their abusers. But-!! Actually-!! I think the game actually does a great job of calling Fenris’s testimony into question! It slaps pretty hard that Varania shows up and tells him he’s full of shit. He doesn’t know what her life was like, and he doesn’t speak for her. Like, sure, Varania is full of shit too. But Fenris doesn’t speak for anyone but himself! He doesn’t speak for all those slaves that were sacrificed in blood magic rituals, because he wasn’t one of them and was never going to be! And, you know what? I don’t have any trouble believing the guy who isolates himself in his manor, who is too traumatised and afraid of even going to the Alienage to be around other elves, has no fucking perspective on their lives!
And, ugh, I love him. I love him soooo much. He and Merrill are my favourite characters in this whole game. I love him being this messy ugly person who loves so hard, and loves so hard he’ll kill whoever Danarius and Hawke tell him to, and loves so hard he buries himself in logic and anger to try to escape from feeling it. Whose best friends are all humans because he doesn’t know how to fucking be around other elves after the way he’s been conditioned. Who just spends the first two acts of the game trying to misrepresent himself as someone way harsher and stronger than he is because, hey, maybe if he says he hates mages enough, he’ll start to believe it. And maybe if he believes it, he can stop himself from giving in and giving up and walking docilely back to Tevinter at Danarius’s side, the way he does if Hawke betrays him. And, ugh, god, I know why people don’t want to look at it, but how do you understand literally anything this character does without it? It’s so frustrating. I love him, and I feel like I don’t even know the guy half the fandom is talking about most of the time.
#and no i don't buy that fenris only killed the fog warriors bc dany was some epic blood mage that could have magically forced him#fenris has lyrium brands that give him superpowers and partial magical resistance#danarius made fenris into a weapon to use against his (blood mage) competitors in the senate#if fenris can more or less singlehandedly murder a platoon of fog warriors#he can stand up to one old blood mage#he didn't bc he was socially conditioned not to#let him feel the effects of that#fenris#lork dragon age opinions
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Sebastian: It's our duty to tell the templars.
Fenris: Then why haven't you done it?
Sebastian: I guess I was hoping they'd come to it on their own.
Fenris: And then you wouldn't have to betray Hawke's friends, right?
Sebastian: That's not reason enough to allow a maleficar to walk free.
(If Anders is in the party)
Anders: You think the templars don't know I'm here? They just haven't caught me yet.
(If Merrill is in the party)
Merrill: Are you talking about me?
Sebastian: Which of us should do it? Shall we draw lots?
Fenris: Uh-uh. You want to turn them in, you work it out with Hawke.
This is one of those OOC quotes on par with Anders feeling ok with giving Fenris to Danarius and Fenris selling Feynriel to the Sloth Demon. It doesn’t make sense, because I don’t believe that Sebastian really hated Anders that much. And this quote applies to Merrill as well, with whom Sebastian is friendly. It literally doesn’t fit anything about Sebastian, his arc, or his version of belief in the Chantry as he speaks against the Chantry numerous times, while still staying faithful to it at the same time. This quote is even worse if you were playing as a mage or romanced him as a mage. I am happy that I never got this banter during my first playthrough, because it would sour all the romantic experience I had with him. And I had very good romantic experience with him. I romanced him as a friend and I adored everything about his romance, maybe except the fact we were denied any non-sexual intimacy like kissing and hugging. This romance would feel more ace to me if it was allowing at least that, but overall I really enjoyed it. I was in my "still religiously indoctrinated to some extent" state, when I knew I was queer but were still acting and behaving as a straight person, so his religious preaching didn't bother me. It started bothering me way later when I finally rejected all the religious bullshit I was fed in my life and finally acknowledged my queerness fully, because to me Sebastian is just like me. He is a queer man, given to the Chantry, raised by it and due to that trapped in a religious system that limits his self-expression, and I really want him to be free. Nowadays, it bothers me when he preaches the Chantry doctrine, because it is too close to home with all the brainwashing I underwent in my very religious family. He reminds me of me, and it is kinda approaching the triggering trauma territory. I still like him very much, I just cannot ignore what he is saying anymore, because I had a person in my life who used the exact same religious reasoning as him to abuse me. So to me, he is abused by the Chantry, but he doesn’t see it yet, just like I didn’t see that I was abused before, and he in consequence continues to preach their doctrine in his own unique way, without realizing how damaging that can be as well. Anyway, coming back to the topic of this specific quote about “giving apostates to the Templars”. This banter also drives the point home that some of them really need either rewriting to fit the characters motivations or Hawke's direct intervention, because the things those characters can say to each other at times need either scolding or outside perspective why what they said is cruel or callous or dangerous. I already can see my first female mage Hawke turning back and looking at him as if he just said that we are going to go to the Alienage and murder all the elven kids. She would feel so conflicted, because she loves him, but he just said something that literally sounded like “I would put you all in gulag”. She was the Blue Hawke 100%, so she was only crass with Carver and I believe that this quote may have made her react in the same way she did to her brother’s more cruel and callous quotes. She would challenge him on what he just said, and depending on where Sebastian is in his religious indoctrination, he would either concede the point and realize what he said was wrong, or double down on it. I can actually imagine him to do the former, because he was open to criticizing the Chantry. If he knew all the shitty things that Circle did, maybe he would not think giving apostates to the Templars is a good idea or his religious duty as a citizen anymore. Hell, even Fenris is not into the idea in this specific banter. He specifically tells him to take it up with Hawke. He doesn’t agree to it, he doesn’t want any part in it. He may dislike Anders or Merrill on the principle of being mages, but he would not do such a thing, and I believe Sebastian would not either if he realized what that actually means, that it is not a lawful thing to do. How cruel that would be and how awfully it could end for all the apostates in the party, including mage Hawke if you played as such.
#dragon age#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#anders#merrill#fenris#mage hawke#chantry bullshit#religious indoctrination#religious propaganda#bioware critical
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Bioware Self Insert Brain Worms Time!!
okay brain worms time
Madilyn Yules:
- As established she is the child of a dwarf and Dalish Elf so she can often be seen in High Town and the Alienage, she barely makes her presence known unless someone needs her. She blends in so to speak. It has taken years for her to be accepted by the elves in Kirkwall, she plays with the children which has warmed her to them.
- She escapes Templars notice due to Chantry Belief that Dwarves cannot know magic there is evidence for that but Varric has also stated “have you seen a dwarven mage?” obviously talking about Madilyn or as he refers to her as Bubbles, because she is always smiling.
- In Inquisition she is found in the Hinterlands healing people suffering from the Mage/Templar war, mages and templars alike (depends on which Hawke sibling she got close too which somewhat influences her decision)
- Inquire about Fenris to her. Please inquire, she’ll have Varric’s head obviously chiding him if he said anything. Wait until she finds out she’s in one of his books. She’ll freak out.
- Ask about her parents and she’ll invite them to Skyhold, she’d rather them be safe then be stuck in the war. They already escaped the Blight they don’t want to be stuck in another war thanks to the giant hole in the sky.
- Ask her about the DA2 companions she’ll have tings to say.
“Merrill? Oh she’s fantastic, I keep in contact via letter I hope she’s doing okay, she felt so isolated during her time in Kirkwall....”
“Isabela? Oh a frequent visitor in my home, drunk mind you and a dagger in her hip. A dagger! IN HER HIP! Uggggh...she put blood on the marble”
- Her dialogue will change if Anders lived or died.
“Anders? I do not understand why Hawke let him live. I hold no sympathy for a man who butchered innocent lives. Yes it’s Kirkwall! But...no one deserved that....”
Or
“Anders? Against my better judgement, I gave him a proper burial. I wish to believe there was some part of him that wasn’t.....Justice....that wasn’t....whatever he truly was. Regardless of his intention, I buried him outside of Kirkwall.”
- If you ask her about Fenris, she freezes and then sighs.
“What did Varric say? did he say he can’t smile? he’s so BROODING he doesn’t know what sunlight is? Honestly Varric...but you asked about Fenris not Varric. He’s not dealing well with me being away but I could not go to Tevinter with him, no matter how much I wanted too. He knows I can take care of myself I just hope he doesn’t get hurt”
- She is a party member also. Because I said so. And she has banter with everyone. Everyone.
Madilla nar Newwa
- Madilla is a quarian biotic, very rare but also very strong. Before meeting Shepard in Mass Effect, she had crashed on a nearby planet after the gang rescued Liara where she was save by Asari Commandos so she has a lot of respect for the Asari.
- Blossoming crush on Garrus, it’s kind of obvious.
- She and Tali are basically adopted siblings, while wary of Madilla at first since due to her biotics, but they are both on Pilgrimage so they stick together. Later on during events of ME2, due to the gangs separation, Tali and Madilla have kept in contact.
- ME2 is full of many colourful new characters and Madilla adores all of them, she asks many questions, apologising quickly if she has overstepped any boundaries she is just very excited.
- She is aware she is different to most Quarians and she fears being ostracised from her own people due to her gifts. Relationship with Garrus improving possibly dating at this point???
- She wears pink. The reason: “I didn’t wanna steal Tali’s vibe”
- Asks a lot of questions to more powerful (and in control of their Biotics) to stop her flare ups of power. Jack tells her to just hit shit. Sometimes that works.
- Overall by the events of Mass Effect 3 while slightly jaded and not a super badass like the others, Humble little pink ponk
#maddi rambles#maddi writes#self insert#self insert lore#OC: Madilyn Yules#OC: Madilla nar Newwa#my girls my girls
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Okay So, it’s time for an introduction I guess. xD
Welcome to the Chaos Dome guys. My name is LJ, and I’ll be your host. I’m a writer. I know it doesn’t necessarily look like it from the state of my blog. And the unkempt nature of my likes tab. But like. It’s what I do. It’s what I live for.
I write Maasverse fanfic, primarily I love to write OC/Canon content because who doesn’t want to have a piece of all the action? But I do also write canon material as well. I also write fanfic for the FBAA series by JLA, My Hero Academia, and various other fandoms.
My top ships would have to be Feysand, Gwynriel, Elriel, Rowaelin, Quinlar, Nestaq, Ruhnlidia and Fenrys/Happiness of any kind. (That’s not to say these are my only ships in the Maasverse, they’re just my favorite as of right now)
I do not and will not insert myself into incessant ship wars, and you’ll find my blog to be a hodgepodge of literally everything. I do try to tag my stuff well enough for filtering so that if you don’t want to see something you don’t have to. If you have a tag you filter that you’d like me to use, please just politely message me and I’ll add it to my tag list. I’m not hard to get along with.
I have an open inbox and am always down to take requests for fics. I also am down to start a discussion about my headcanons and pretty much anything else at any given time.
As of right now I have yet to finish HoSaB, but I have started it. Ruhn Danaan is the current love of my life, and I would sell my soul to give him a hug and remind him that he is loved.
As for my original projects, I tend to write LGBTQIA+ inclusive stories that feature a wide variety of representation on the Queer Spectrum. I love the idea that majorly queer media is making a rise and I strive to be apart of creating that media so that kids like me and my brother and sister in the future can find themselves in the pages of my stories.
I have a very small discord community for the people interested in following along with my writing journey. If you’d like the link hit me up in a message and I’ll send it to you. <3
Aside from my writing, I’m an avid roleplayer (and it’s where I get the inspiration for a lot of my fanfiction from), I like to make bookish playlists, and spend a lot of my time playing video games and scrolling through tiktok. Streaming movies/tv shows/anime, reading books, doing crafts. EVERYTHING EXCEPT WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING AND WORKING ON MY BOOK. xD I’m a server as my day job. I have three cats (Jinxlynn Marie, Ochako Tyreen, and Little Shadow.) they are my babies, I adore them.
Thank you guys so much for the interest if you’ve read this far. I hope you can all find something on my blog that you like and wish to stick around for.
#writeblr intro#an intro to me#sjm fandom#writer introduction#hey look guys it's me#since i'm finally gaining some new followers I think it's time for this thing to happen#<3
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Hi there Pikapeppa! I saw your DA Day prompts post and I thought I'd send you one in case it fires any inspiration! From the 250 Erotic prompts, I pick Number 7: From Behind -- I'd LOVE a Carver/Merrill fic, but if that doesn't spark joy then I'd be happy for a Fenris/Female Hawke fic. Thanks so much!
Carver/Merrill, you say? I have never written these two babes together, but how can I say no to the Patron Saint of this adorable ship? 🥰🙏
Pika's Dragon Age Day drabbles, prompt fill #1:
Carver/Merrill, NSFW, ~2200 words.
Prompt: From Behind.
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Everyone thinks that Merrill is sweet, and Carver thinks that this is ridiculous.
This isn’t to say that Carver thinks she isn't sweet; it’s not that at all. Of course Merrill is sweet. In fact, she might just be the sweetest girl — woman, not girl, she’s a woman — that he's ever met in his life. But here’s the thing: Merrill isn’t just sweet. She’s not just the adorable and absentminded little elf who doesn’t know how to recognize pickpockets and who gets lost in people’s gardens in Hightown.
Merrill is dangerous. She might be tiny, but Carver has seen her fighting, and her Dalish magic packs a real punch. She’s also smart — smart in ways that Carver doesn’t fully understand. He’s watched her working on her magic stuff before, mumbling to herself as she reads her complicated spellbooks and talks to his sister about magic and spells and all that mage-y sort of stuff, and… all right, fine, maybe he doesn’t know what they’re talking about more than half the time. But he’s picked up enough about magic during his life to know that the stuff they’re talking about is really quite advanced, and only someone really smart like Merrill would be able to discuss advanced magical theory like that.
She’s not just dangerous and smart, though. She’s also earnest and loyal and funny, and she’s… Maker, she’s so incredibly pretty with her big green eyes — not that that’s the most important thing about her at all. But there are so many sides of Merrill that other people don’t seem to see, and when Carver hears Isabela and his sister just talking about how sweet Merrill is, it makes him want to vomit.
But on top of all of that, on top of her intelligence and her confidence and her kindness, there’s another side of Merrill that other people don’t see. There’s a side of her that’s mischievous and coy — a side of her that Carver has had the huge pleasure of getting to know now that she finally sees him as a man and not just as ‘Hawke’s little brother’. And if Carver is being totally honest, it’s a side of her that he feels very smug about other people not being able to see at all.
Everyone thinks that Merrill is sweet. What they don’t realize is just how… well, how spicy Merrill can be. And it’s this spicy side of Merrill that’s on Carver’s mind as he makes his way to the alienage to visit her one afternoon.
The first thing he notices when he gets to her house is that the door is ajar. This alone isn’t a huge reason to be worried; it’s not uncommon that Merrill forgets to close her door. But she’s been robbed before by vagrants who take advantage of her open door to steal blankets and food, and Carver is instantly on the alert for the possibility that this has happened again.
He cautiously edges into her house. “Merrill?” he calls.
“Back here!” her cheerful voice calls back.
He relaxes and firmly closes the door, then makes his way toward the bedroom where her voice was hailing from. “Hello,” he says. “I was wondering if…” He trails off as he spots her. She’s on her knees and elbows on the bedroom floor with a selection of books and parchment spread out around her. She’s clearly in the midst of studying something, and Carver doesn’t bother to wonder why she’s on the floor instead of at the table; he doesn’t bother to think much of anything at all, in fact, because all of his attention is on her bum.
Merrill’s bum is in the air. In this position on her elbows and knees, her round little bottom is in the air, and the unwittingly-provocative pose sends his mind straight into the gutter. She’s fully dressed and she’s clearly doing something important, but all Carver can think about is the idea of Merrill in this same pose — but fully and entirely naked. All he can think about is a nude Merrill on her knees, her pearly skin exposed and her rounded bum inviting his hands and his hips to press against her, and in less than five seconds flat, Carver’s cock is rock-hard.
He swallows hard. His cheeks are burning with embarrassment at how quickly he got excited by something that clearly wasn’t meant to excite him at all, and all he can do now is hope she won’t turn around and see him looking like an overeager twelve-year-old…
And it’s too late. She’s looking over her shoulder at him, and her face is lit with a smile. “Carver!” she chirps. “What a lovely surprise! What are you doing here?”
He swallows again. Maker, his mouth is so bloody dry. “I…” Shit, he can’t remember words. He had words that he was going to say, suave and manly words to ask if she was in the mood to make love, but he doesn’t remember what those words were, not when she’s on her elbows and knees with her pretty little bum in the air.
Her eyes go wide, and she pushes herself upright to sit back on her heels. “Carver, are you all right? You look like you have a fever.”
He shakes his head. “No,” he croaks. “Nope, no fever, not me.”
“What’s the matter, then?” she says. “You look like someone hit you in the face with a frying pan!”
He offers her a sheepish smile. “I, um, I do feel a little bit like that’s what’s happened.”
If possible, her big green eyes widen even more. “Is that what happened? I saw a man carrying a frying man this morning, you know, and I was wondering if he was going to be using it properly or for some other funny reason.” She peers at him. “You don’t look like you have a bruise, though.”
“Er, n-no,” he stutters. “There was… no actual frying pan, no.” He clears throat and tugs his collar, wishing that it wasn’t quite so warm in her cozy little house.
He shifts from foot to foot, praying that his cock will calm down and stop being such an obnoxious distraction. Then, to his surprise, Merrill smiles. “Did I miss something dirty?” she asks.
His face goes red-hot with shame. “Wha— no!” he lies. “No no, it — nothing dirty. I just, um, thought I’d come by to, er, visit you, that’s all.” He closes his mouth to stop himself from lying to her any more like a dirty horrible liar.
Merrill studies him silently for another moment. Then, to his surprise, a slow smile lights her gamine face.
With her back still facing him, she slowly lowers herself down to her elbows once more — so slowly that it can only be intentional. By the time she’s on her elbows once more, Carver feels like his entire body is going to melt with lust.
Merrill props her chin on her hands and looks at him over her shoulder. “Are you sure I didn’t miss something dirty?” she asks.
He gapes at her for a moment, completely thrown off by how sexy she is. Her spine is arched like a cat’s, and her pert little bum is lifted like she wants him to stare, and that smile on her face — that lovely sweet and spicy little smile…
It happens before he has time to think about it. One second, he’s staring at her like the idiot that everyone in Kirkwall seems to think he is. The next second, he’s on his knees behind her, sliding his hands up her hips and tugging on her leather leggings to pull them down. Her leggings are bunched down around her knees now and he’s tugging her smallclothes down too, and — Maker save him, she’s wet already.
A rush of saliva floods his mouth. He slips his fingers between her legs, his big brutish fingers moving clumsily through the slickness of her folds, but she doesn’t seem to think his fingers are clumsy at all. She’s making that little noise she makes when they’re doing something dirty, that breathy little mewling noise that Carver likes more than any sound he’s ever heard, and she’s rocking back to meet him, rocking her hips to rub her wetness against his fingers — Maker save him he’s so hard…
“Carver, please,” she mewls.
He can’t resist. He doesn’t want to resist. He fumbles with his belt, undoing it with his big stupid clumsy fingers while the blood pounds in his ears and in his cock. Then Merrill is turning around to face him and cradling his cheeks in her hands — mm yes she’s kissing him, her lips slanting hungrily over his as her nimble little fingers pull open his belt and ah Merrill please her hand is on his cock—
She breaks from his kiss and strokes him. “You’ve got such a lovely big sword,” she pants.
He bursts out a breathless laugh. “Please don’t m-make fun of me, mm…”
She giggles and kisses him and continues to stroke his cock, and he’s gasping into her lips and thrusting into her hand, moaning into her mouth, her sweet and spicy mouth, his lovely Merrill—
She suddenly releases him and turns around, planting herself on her elbows and knees once more, and Carver doesn’t hesitate. He flips up the hem of her long tunic and stares at her bottom, plants his palm on her ass, smooths his hand reverently over her alabaster skin…
He takes hold of her hips and thrusts into her, and the sound she makes almost makes him come on the spot. It’s a wild mewling cry of pure feral pleasure, and as Carver gasps and hilts himself inside of her again and again, he listens blissfully to that beautiful mewling cry. That beautiful sound that makes him feel so wanted, wanted and needed in ways that no one else has ever really wanted him, but Merrill does. She sees him as a man, as more than just another Hawke, and the feeling of being really seen by someone as smart and determined and sexy as Merrill feels so good. It feels so good to be seen by her and wanted by her, to have her petite body in his hands and her heat surrounding him and squeezing him as he pumps into her with a dizzying sort of excitement — yes, it feels so good: it feels so good, so good, Maker please, Merrill, it feels so good—
He bursts inside of her, a frenzied burst of pure ecstasy, and the sounds he’s hearing now are rough and guttural cries of his own as he empties himself inside of her in a series of hard and desperate thrusts. When his orgasm finally settles out, he releases her hips, then drapes himself over her back with a sigh.
He wraps one arm around her waist in a hug and presses his cheek to her spine. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I — was this rude? I just came bursting in on you while you were working…”
“You really did come bursting in, didn’t you?” she replies.
He lifts his cheek from her back and blinks at her. “Are you… did you mean that in a dirty way?”
She giggles and carefully wiggles her way out of his arms. “Isabela’s been helping me practice being dirty,” she says earnestly as she peels her leggings and smallclothes off. “She told me that I should get down on my knees like this to make you think naughty things, and it worked!”
“She… Isabela told you to do this?” Carver croaked. What was he supposed to think about this? Should he be furious or thankful that Isabela was getting involved in his and Merrill’s love life? He honestly couldn’t decide.
“Yes, she did,” Merrill says brightly. “I told her I wasn’t sure it would work because maybe you’d just think I was looking for a spanking, but I’m happy you got the right idea.”
A sudden image enters his mind: Merrill naked on her elbows and knees, asking Carver to spank her…
Bloody Maker’s mercy, his face is going hot again. Merrill peers at him, then covers her mouth. “Oh dear. I missed something dirty again, didn’t I?”
He stares stupidly at her for a moment. Then, without quite meaning to, he laughs.
She smiles back at him, and his heart thumps at how unbelievably beautiful she is. He shuffles close to her and takes her hand. “I like you so much,” he declares.
She laughs and smooths her palm over his chest. “You’re so sweet,” she chirps, and she kisses him on the lips.
Carver blissfully strokes her neck as he returns her kiss. Everyone thinks that Merrill is sweet, and honestly, they’re not wrong. But she’s so much more than just a sweet Dalish elf who makes friends with kittens and drops marbles into Isabela’s boots. She’s funny and playful and sexy, determined and dangerous and kind, and she makes Carver feel seen in a way that he’s never felt seen before.
Merrill is so much more than sweet, and Carver adores every side of her.
#carver/merrill#carver x merrill#carver hawke#merrill#dragon age day#dragon age day 2021#da day#d4 day#thanks hollyand for the sweet and spicy prompt! 😉#pikapeppa writes#oh i posted early LOL#OH WELL
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it's raining smut - rowaelin month day four.
ao3 || masterlist || rowaelin month '21 masterlist
prompt: libraries or librarians au.
word count: 1104
trigger warnings: language, suggestive shit.
tag list: @live-the-fangirl-life, @rowaelinismyotp
terrasen public library, mid-afternoon.
Aelin’s dry spell is both a point of pride and a point of embarrassment for her.
Understandably so, she would argue. Most wouldn’t agree.
She’s proud because, well, she’s managed to be so horrified by men recently—for the past twenty months, three weeks, and two days—that she can’t even bear the thought of sleeping with a man. What a feminist she is.
A true attribute to the feminist cause.
She’s embarrassed because, well, shouldn’t she attract fewer dickheads, and douchebags, and dudebros and more, say, decent guys who can respect that she is her own person and that he does not have a right to her body solely because she exists near him. Therefore, making it so that she can’t say no to a man.
Shouldn’t she?
In the past twenty months, three weeks, and two days, Aelin has taken to living vicariously through people. It began as condoning Elide and Lorcan to fuck in Elide’s room, it then became allowing Elide and Lysandra to regale her with tales of their very active sex lives.
Next, she was being gifted a card from Fenrys with the message, try pornhub, it works. After that, she bought the best vibrator she could find, but it didn’t do much for her if she couldn’t find anything to get turned on by.
From that moment on, her socials were flooded with book recommendations, and then smutty book recommendations. She’d held off for a while, not really sure if she’d get turned on by fictional characters and words on a page. She had, nearly a year ago now, borrowed a few famously smutty books from a library two towns away.
She didn’t need the rumour flying around her small hometown that she was a whore who liked reading sex scenes for fun and pleasure.
She is, of course, but a rumour is just cruel, and an ego hit that’s far too personal.
She’d become hooked, she was buying books every day and her bookshelves were filling at a rate she couldn’t read at. Then she was branching out, moving to less smutty books, or to darker romances, maybe over to young adult for a while.
The next thing she knew, she only went out for work and groceries and had barely seen anyone except for the fit men on some of her book’s covers.
And now she does have a reputation, as a hermit, because she doesn’t leave the house.
Now, though, she stands in the town’s library, a stack of seven books in her arms. A series of vaguely inter-connected books well known for their smut but terrible pacing and lack of character development.
For such books, with contrasting and rivalling reviews, she prefers to borrow from the library. So, she doesn’t waste fifty pounds on them and then they end up being decorations without cracked spines, dog-eared pages and notes in the margins.
You can tell, with a quick look at her bookshelves, what her favourite books are. Beyond the fact, she’ll have several copies of them, special editions, and merchandise for them. You can tell because the spines are cracked and discoloured; the pages stained with tears marks, tea stains, food dollops and a million more things; the corners dog-eared and curled inwards from abuse; notes and annotations and highlighting and tabs decorate every single page of the book.
As she peers around her stack of books, the covers pretty much the least discreet she’s ever seen (strike one, what about the people who don’t want to walk around and have it obvious they’re reading the smuttiest of smut, huh?) she hopes she doesn’t bump into anyone on her way to the cash desk.
She also hopes that the usual girl is on check-out duty, a similarly aged girl to Aelin, who shares her love of enemies to lovers, scorching smut and really fucking hot men.
Her foot meets the edge of the desk, and with quite an amount of effort, she manages to put the tower of books down in go, without any falling off. “Sellene, how have been? I feel like I hav—”
Whilst the silver hair is the same, as are the bright green eyes and slightly tanned skin, the gender most certainly isn’t.
“You’re not Sellene.” She mumbles to him, loving the way his eyes have lit up in her presence.
“Am I not? I could have sworn I began the day with not only a vagina but also a raging attitude problem.” He deadpans, his lips not even quirking as he speaks, his eyes taking in the cover of the book he took from the top of the pile. “Throb, huh. Sellene would certainly approve, she loves this series. Says the smut is top tier, I’ve been meaning to read it, ever since she got it for this place. Never got ‘round to it.”
He pulls the barcode scanner from its holder on the desk, not even blinking at the whips and chains and naked couple on the front cover, the 'o’ in throb being her mouth with his thumb in it.
The beep of it being scanned fills the air between them. He pulls the next one down, “Thrust. Unimaginative but if it works for the author, it works for the author, I guess. I can see why my cousin likes this series, she’s got a massive thing for guys with dark eyes, dark hair and thigh tattoos.”
In utter shock and awe of this man, Aelin musters the energy to answer, “Cousin?”
“Yeah, I’m Rowan. Whitehorn. As in, Sellene Whitehorn. Who works here every day and has a thing for dark eyes, dark hair and thi—”
“—Yeah, I heard what you said I just didn’t know she wouldn’t be in today.” Cousin, it makes sense.
“Mhm, she’s away with her husband on some second honeymoon shit, said something about these books being an inspiration, at which point I thought I’d tune out, and remember to read them if the smut was that good.”
“How about the books being an inspiration for how you and I fuck.” It slipped out; it shouldn’t have.
Oh, shit.
“Guess I’ve got to read them now, haven’t I? In preparation for the fucking, you and I will share.” When Aelin’s mouth opens in protest, he holds up a hand and makes a waving motion with his fingers, “Don’t worry. First comes the picking up, then comes dinner. And only after dinner do we get dessert. I’ve enough romance to know how to dazzle you, and enough to grovel when my ultimate fuck-up appears in our narrative.”
Oh, shit.
#rowaelin month#rowaelin#tog#throne of glass#tog fic#my fic#my writing#rowan whitethorn#aelin galathynius#llyncooljones' writing
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I’ve been thinking a lot about Fenris lately. I’ve done almost a complete 180 with how I feel abt him, bc I finally played through his romance. and I think he exists solely for the purpose of being the love interest.
here’s what I mean
if we accept the premise that everything in the game is the story Varric is telling, and not what objectively happened, everything is there for a purpose, because he doesn’t want to give away anything that isn’t specifically relevant to the narrative he’s trying to craft (the DLC operates on this conceit too, bc when you start them up, the intro cutscenes for both Legacy and Mark of the Assassin is Cassandra demanding to hear the story, and Varric saying he didn’t bring it up bc it didn’t seem important)
if we accept that everything is there for a purpose, all the companions are in the story for a reason. Hawke clearly has other friends and associates; we don’t get folks like Athenril or Meeran as playable companions, despite the fact that Hawke can work with them in similar capacities (just in the off-years)
Varric (obviously), Anders, and Isabela are plot-relevant. Aveline and Sebastian (and potentially Bethany/Carver) are important political allies, bc it's a way to keep in mind the influence that Hawke has built. Merrill….. (i might write another post about Merrill tbh, bc her character is fascinating but) in short, she ties in to the whole theme of the debate abt blood magic
Fenris though?? he's 1) an escaped slave 2) from Tevinter, none of which is topically relevant. it doesn't tie into anything else.
he’s not essential. he and Isabela are the only companions you can potentially pass over in the base game, and he’s the only one you won’t miss if he's not there (it's pretty smooth if you don’t recruit Isabela, but the cutscene at the end of act 2 is. Aveline literally arguing with a blank wall lol) so what other reason would Varric have to bring him up?
it's also interesting that he's the only companion whose character development is directly tied to his romance. Fenris and Isabela are both characters who are searching for a purpose, and while I have A Lot of Issues with the way Isabela's romance is written lmao, ultimately her decision to come back and stay with Hawke or not depends on their platonic connection to her (friendship/rivalry status) rather than romantic ties.
Fenris, on the other hand, seems to just kind of... settle for whatever happens to him if he's not romanced. he gets closure on his past but still doesn't have any prospects, he just kind of gives off the vibes of like. he'll tag along with Hawke bc he doesn't have anything better to do anymoreand it's not a very satisfying conclusion for his character arc bc throughout the game he struggles with two main questions: what happened to him, and what does he do now.
but if you romance him, suddenly he does have hope for the future. he still doesn't have any idea of what the future holds, but being with Hawke gives him a sense of purpose and, more importantly, optimism that is completely missing otherwise. he starts to pursue his own happiness and the things he wants (besides just revenge on Danarius) which....... doesn't happen if you don't romance him
#dragon age#da2#fenris#mine#long post sry#i rly just bounced off his whole stoic moody guy personality tbh#i kept telling myself i would run through his romance just to get thru all of them but i kept getting distracted bc isabela is. RIGHT there#finally just had to buckle down and see what all the fuss is about and like. i get it#his character still rly doesnt appeal to me v much? but the romance plot is by far the best written imo#im a sucker for that classic romance shit#i will say tho that i also really love isabela and him flirting if you don't romance either of them so like#ot3
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The Kings’ Wife
Chapter 7
Goldilocks
“I return to my state of garden and shadow.”
Azriel missed his wife.
No, it’s not like she left him or anything drastic like that. Yet, he yearned to be accepted and loved by her as Fenrys was, and even Ruhn. With them, their little chaotic girl came alive. They were part of her little nebulous world, which she occupied and which Azriel wanted to visit, and stay in forever.
What he’d learned in the past week–their first week of marriage, was that Elain Archeron King was a beautiful, unexpected chaos. Or, as she called herself Elain Marie Paige Azriel King. Which was weird, but while he tried to argue with her, and explain that it was just Elain King, or, if she so insisted, Elain Marie Paige King, she wouldn’t hear of it and was convinced that the correct way to say her name was Elain Azriel King. When he tried again, and suggested that maybe she meant Elain Archeron King, she stomped her foot and told him that he doesn’t even know his own name. Or hers.
And that was that.
She was Elain Azriel King from then on.
Not that he minded at all.
If she wished to be Elain Azriel King, more power to her.
At home, she tended to wear a tiara.
She just walked around in a tiara and always barefoot–because she needed to ‘feel the earth’ with her toes. Also, according to her, she was a queen, because she was married to kings.
So be it. No one argued.
In a week, he’d learned a lot of things about his wife.
She was remarkably, adorably and unquestionably strange and somehow, she immediately fit into their psychotic trio–though that shouldn't have been a surprise, since she clearly accepted them all and the state of the state, which was that she was theirs, and they were hers.
Even Ruhn fell under her spell. Ruhn. He’d never admit it to anyone, but Azriel was aware that Ruhn texted her throughout the day; sent her funny videos, jokes and memes, messages, photos of what he was doing or eating. If he wasn’t home in the morning, he sent her cartoon bears or puppies, with ‘good morning’ messages and “What’s my girl going to do today?” He also sent her videos or photos of his ‘work’ –with lots of blood, screaming and pleading. To which, she replied “ Go, Ruhn, go! ” or “ baby, you are doing so well! ” or “ that’s hot ”. Because just like them, Elain had a bloodthirsty streak in her and the more he learned about her, the clearer it became why she was able to take down that damn monster Hybern.
Ruhn hadn't started his training with her yet, but they all knew that she would absolutely love it, and would probably be very good at it. If absolutely uncontrolled. Because if she killed like she danced, then the devil help them all.
*
What Azriel also found out was that Elain was a very bad judge of some of her abilities.
Curiously, things that she excelled at–cooking, for example, or baking, making truly stunning flower arrangements, having a spectacularly refined eye for design, and being effortlessly stylish–she felt insecure about. She always seemed surprised when the three of them complimented her food and when they cleaned the plates like a swarm of locusts. Any baked goods were gone in less than an hour. No matter how many muffins or rolls she made, everything was consumed, and yet, she even accused them of doing it on purpose, to make her feel better.
Now there were many things that Elain was…not good at. At all . She failed spectacularly.
Notably, those were the things that she felt that she excelled at and was ‘so good’ at.
“I am so good at languages!” she announced. “I can learn a language in three days!”
“I think a bit of an exaggeration, beautiful,” Ruhn argued reasonably.
“What languages do you know, baby?” Fenrys propped his chin on the counter and looked at her with big cow eyes, blinking like a love sick fool that he was.
“I know Italian and Spanish and French and English and many more,” she announced proudly.
Azriel, who was fluent in Italian, jerked his chin and said, “ Mi piacerebbe sentirti parlare Italiano,”
“If you want to hear me speak, here you go,” she pursed her lips and,
Well, she did speak Italian.
The problem was, she spoke like the fucking Terminator. She completely disregarded all the tenses, dropped most of the connecting words as she saw fit, and just did whatever the hell she wanted. She also randomly mixed half of the words up. Even Ruhn, who was fluent as well, winced a bit.
Yet, Elain, after concluding a long monologue about “ Abbiamo lo stesso numero di ossa nel collo delle giraffe,”
Or, how we humans had the same number of bones in our necks as giraffes, announced, “I speak so good!”
“Baby,” Fenrys, who knew about four words in Italian, purred lovingly, “you speak so so good. I don’t know why the giraffes are so stressed, but I bet you can make them feel better.”
That, actually, was a typical conversation between Elain and Fenrys.
Ruhn stroked her head and nodded his assent.
“You are very good in Italian, pretty girl!”
She beamed at the praise and then turned a challenging eye at Azriel.
“You do speak Italian,” was all he said.
“I told you I speak so good!” she concluded and puffed out her chest pridefully.
Then she attempted to speak Spanish, and yeah, she didn’t know Spanish. Though she could roll an ‘R’ like nobody’s business.
“Now speak English, baby,” Fenrys requested with the same stupid dreamy look on his face.
Azriel was very curious what that meant, and as it turned out, speaking ‘English’ was Elain doing a terrible British accent.
“You can’t even tell I am not British!” she declared triumphantly, with Fenrys nodding eagerly, like she was speaking the Queen’s English from a palace balcony. Hers was a weird mixture of cockney, that actor’s from all the Jane Austen movies, Fenrys’s, with a touch of Downton Abbey and Guy Ritchie movies. It made no sense, and yet, made every sense.
“Baby, your English is perfect!” Fenrys pulled her in for a kiss and Elain remained in her gloriously deluded state, absolutely convinced of her knowledge of languages. And the funny thing was that Azriel didn’t think that Fen was lying or trying to make her feel good–the man really thought that everything she did was magical and special. To Fenrys, Elain was perfect and could do no wrong.
Elain also succeeded in offering completely incorrect information with unflinching confidence, and then arguing that the information was indeed correct.
*
The four of them were driving to the beach the first weekend after the wedding. The day was glorious, the weather hot and the ocean beckoned. So they piled into Fen’s vintage Aston Martin convertible and headed out of the city before the sun was even up.
Between the Fenrys/Elain heated make-out sessions in the back seat, she dropped some interesting pearls of wisdom on them.
“Did you know that when you are sleeping with your mouth open a mouse can crawl in, lay eggs in there and then you wake up and there are a bunch of eggs and also baby mouses in your mouth?!”
“Mice,” Azriel corrected her.
“What?”
“Not mouses, mice.”
“I am pretty sure it’s mouses,” she insisted. “Ru, is it mouses or mice?”
Ruhn, who was sitting in the front with Azriel, offered diplomatically, “I think it depends on where you are from. The vernacular varies,”
“Yeah!” Elain interrupted him, “vehicular varies, Azriel!”
That was another thing that they learned about her–language, in general, was just a suggestion to her. She floated within her thoughts and words, not necessarily needing anything to make sense, as long as it did to her.
Ruhn was the first person to learn how to decipher her fascinating ramblings and he just accepted them. Fenrys did as well. Her mind was a colourful rainbow of dreams and memories and aspirations. It was akin to stepping into a kaleidoscope and existing in a world of somewhat alternate consciousness.
It didn’t matter to them that mice didn’t lay eggs and that she mixed up mice and spiders, it only mattered that she wanted to share the information and found it so interesting.
So what if she named all the cars–there was Big Bessy , and Baby Blue , and Golden Boy , and Sad Muffin , and Vasily , and Hedge.
A week in, and all four of them were addressing the cars by their ‘names’.
Her world was dreamy and beautiful–she admitted that she wanted to eat cannoli and live in the sun and read dark romance and sometimes kill people and breathe in the ocean and get neck kisses and ride in fast cars and never, ever, ever have the three of them leave her. Not even for a second. Not for a moment. They had to be together forever.
She was theirs, and they were hers.
*
On the way to the beach, they blared the radio and Elain sang along to the songs, messing up most of the lyrics. That was another thing Azriel had learned about his wife–he doubted that she knew ONE song correctly. She just continuously sang nonsense, sometimes, making up whole words, and trying to convince everyone that these were the right words.
Tina Turner’s ‘Simply the Best’ came on–one of their wedding songs, in fact, and Elain squealed with excitement. It was the song that the three of them dedicated to her at the wedding–and even lip synced it for her, as a trio. Azriel smiled, recalling how she ran to them after they were done, tears in her eyes, and wrapped her arms around the three of them, and they spun her around, attempting to maintain a sense of propriety and not kiss her in a non-brotherly manner.
Apparently though, she sang a different song entirely:
You're simply the best
Better than all the best
Better than anyone
Anyone I've never met
I'm striking your heart
And hang you and every word you say
You tear us apart
Baby, I would rather you be dead
It wasn’t even close and made zero sense, but as usual, Elain was convinced that her version was the correct one and there was no arguing with her. Whose heart she was striking remained a mystery, but that was okay, because she was singing her heart out, arms waving in the air, eyes closed and it was pure joy.
And then Fenrys pulled her down onto the seat and tugged her top down, quickly freeing her plush tits from the bikini top. Ruhn twisted in his seat, turning to watch them, his hand landing on the breast closest to him and mashing it hard, while Fenrys began to lap on her other, biting her nipple and sucking all of it into his mouth.
“Boys,” she moaned, arching into their touch, not caring that they were in an open car and lo and behold, the moment a truck passed them, a deafening ‘toot-toot’ from the horn greeted her bare breasts. Ruhn flipped the trucker off, and Azriel grunted,
“We are not filming a porno here!”
“Our baby needs some titty sucking,” Ruhn argued seriously. “Don’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” Elain moaned in the back, her legs falling apart around Fenrys’s hips as he busied himself with the other nipple, while Ruhn held the breast to his brother’s mouth.
“You gave me a good idea, Az,” Ruhn took out his phone and said, “I need this–firstly, to judge Fen’s shitty techniques,” Fenrys didn’t even pause the sucking, while he offered Ruhn the finger, “and when I am fucking bored as fuck torturing some fucker, I can at least entertain myself with Lainey’s pretty titties. Show them to me, honey,”
Elain pushed Fen away and then then had Ruhn film her semi-nude body, pausing for him, squeezing her breasts in her hands, jiggling them for him, pinching her wet nipples, until Fenrys lost his patience and pulled her up, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and rolled and tugged her nipples for the camera, until they began to visibly swell between his fingers and Elain started to moan.
“That’s right, my girl,” Ruhn encouraged her, licking his lips and grabbing a handful of the lush globes.
“Runnie,” she murmured, caressing his hand and having him squeezed her even tighter.
“Yes, love?”
“If you want to, you can film me sucking your cock,” she bit her lower lip, watching him from under her lashes. “You can always watch me and how you have your dick in my mouth,”
Azriel choked audibly and Ruhn readjusted himself in his jeans and nodded,
“I would love that, pretty girl,” he vowed. “You’ll give me the messiest blowjob and I’ll come all over your gorgeous tits,”
“Come in her mouth!” Fenrys argued.
“This is my fantasy and my blowie,” Ruhn waved him off, “I come where I want to come! You want to come in her mouth, you do you, brother.”
Elain stroked Fen’s cheek and kissed him tenderly,
“You can come in my mouth, Fen. I like it,”
“You came in her mouth?!!” the other two roared loudly and aggressively, outraged.
“Watch the road!” Elain screamed at Azriel, who turned a furious gaze at Fenrys.
“Okay, it was one time!” Fenrys argued defensively, “she only swallowed, she didn’t even do anything,”
“She only swallowed?” Ruhn bellowed. “What else is there?”
Fenrys began to play with Elain’s hair and breasts again, shrugging impetuously and saying, “No one is stopping you. How’s that my problem?”
“I am at work!” Ruhn yelled.
“Well, then have babygirl suck you off when you are not at work,” he recommended logically.
“As a reminder,” Azriel’s voice interrupted them all, “we don't show our woman to anyone. She is ours. Cover her tits now,” that was an order.
Fenrys had the good sense to cover Elain’s breasts with the bikini top and that was that. He kissed her and then Azriel invited them all to sing. Which they did. With Elain mangling every song and all the lyrics.
*
That day at the beach was the best day after that stupid fight that they had.
Since that day when Azriel had lost his temper and acted like a douche, Elain had chiefly avoided him. Not demonstratively, not in some petty ‘door slamming’ way, but she did and he felt it. Also, she kept feeding him shitty foods from bags and boxes–when the others got nicely seared steaks or marvelously grilled swordfish with herb butter, or mushroom and asparagus risotto, he got chicken nuggets, fish sticks and turkey meatballs from a bag. He ate it all, overplaying his enjoyment and guilting her for serving that crap to him. What pained him more than a soggy mush of a fish patty on his plate was that she certainly didn’t sneak into his bedroom anymore after that one time. She didn’t kiss him. She didn’t hug him. Fenrys lounged on her lap when they watched TV. Ruhn crossed his long muscular legs on her thighs and then inevitably, she’d curl up against him. Damn Fenrys, of course, got very very comfortable with showering with her every morning. Azriel was perfectly aware that Fen now had his toothbrush, his hair products and his shower gel in her bathroom. Which was fucking unacceptable. Meanwhile, he got nuggets.
But Azriel longed for her. Wanted the touches, the smiles that would be just for him. He wanted to pull her to him and wrap his arms around her. He wanted to bite that juicy ass again. He wanted so many things…Not the least of which was the constant grating desire to bury himself inside of her. He thought about it endlessly. He thought he’d have a lot more self control, and this denial wouldn’t be as painful as it was. It was actually horrible. She was right there . In front of him, in her ridiculous tiaras, those stretchy pants that drove him wild and set his imagination on fire, not to mention the days when she wore the little flowery dresses. When she rolled dough, her whole body tensing and relaxing, stretching and making some very wonderful things to her cleavage–those days were both pleasure and torment to Azriel. He had jealously watched her teach Fen how to make fresh ricotta, and then have Ruhn taste the sauce that she was making, holding the wooden spoon to his lips, as he licked it, his gaze devouring her. In the garden, the three of them played bocce, arguing viciously, running around with a ruler, measuring scrupulously and then inevitably getting into fights. He pretended like he ‘needed to work’. He didn’t. But he didn’t want to burden her with his presence.
And so, Azriel missed his wife.
*
At last, they were here, piling out of the car, getting bags and baskets from the trunk.
They found a nice spot, though while Elain was spreading their towels and blankets on the sand, a pissy lady grabbed her son, muttering loudly enough for them to hear ‘come Blake. We are not sitting next to criminals!”
Fenrys wiggled his brows at her and murmured in a sinister tone, “Lady, you don’t know the half of it. Run along, Blake! Otherwise, you might want to become like us,”
The woman added a little gas to her speedy walk, dragging Blake by the hand, while Blake was watching the three giant, tattooed muscular men with wonder in his eyes.
Elain laughed, and told him to stop scaring children and impressionable housewives. Then she added, “but she wasn’t wrong!”
The good thing was that Ruhn alone could clear out all the undesirable neighbours in a 50 meter radius, just with a look and a flip of his long hair.
All the noise and banter stopped, when Elain pulled off her tank top and then shimmied out of her little white shorts, revealing her super sexy curvaceous body to them–all her ample, soft goods tucked into a little bubblegum pink bikini.
“Boys,” she giggled, “you are staring at me like hungry wolves,”
“Girlie, you are hot as fuck,” Ruhn managed to utter, tearing off his clothes and dropping on the towel next to her.
“What he said,” Fenrys agreed.
“You’ve all seen me much nakeder than this,” she reminded them with a laugh, while Ruhn stroked her back and snuck a kiss to her hip.
“That’s why the beach sucks,” Fenrys sighed dramatically. “We could be home and you’d be way, way more naked than this and we can touch you too.”
“Well, I love the beach!” she announced.
“Let me lather you up, babygirl,” Fenrys offered, taking out a tube of sunscreen. The next moment, a scarred brown arm shot out and wrapped around his wrist, as Azriel said, “allow me”.
Fenrys pouted, but opted not to argue and handed the sunscreen to Azriel. Then he rose and announced that he is going for a dip! Ruhn sighed and decided that he’d go as well.
Azriel stood, waiting for her to go after them, but Elain remained seated, her eyes glued to his nude body. He just stood there, letting his woman look at him, enjoying how her eyes roamed over his chest, the tattoos that slithered from his neck, to his pecs, and down his muscular arms. He had fewer than Ruhn, but still plenty, and done in a different style–all black, many resembling flames–a memory that was forever etched on his skin in ink and in scars. On his right hand, the tattoos wrapped around his forearm and slithered all the way to his hand and his fingers. He left most of his left arm undecorated, so that all the scarring was plainly visible.
In her usual manner, she just reached out with her finger and traced the outline of his deep V, running her finger to the edge of his swimming trunks.
“They call it Apollo’s Rope, you know!” she told him.
He smiled and stroked her head, gently cupping her face.
“I think it's the Adonis Belt, my darling,” he said.
She frowned and shook her head, “No, It’s Apollo’s Ro-”
“You are right,” he agreed, because why not?
She kept studying him, and normally, he wouldn’t have been comfortable with such close scrutiny, but with Elain, he actually enjoyed it. She was so odd and so innocent, that he never had to be embarrassed with her, or expect any judgment from her.
“Az,” she said quietly, looking up at him, “you know, you are the most beautiful.”
He didn’t know how to respond, but also knew that she wasn’t finished.
“You have the most beautiful face,” she informed him thoughtfully. “You look like a gorgeous dragon,”
“Gorgeous dragon?”
She nodded, “yes! The most stunning and wonderful dragon. And your feet are also most beautiful! And your hands too,”
He looked down at his sand covered feet. His feet were fine, he supposed, but,
She reached down into the sand and drew her palm over his feet, his toes, before sliding up and over his calf.
“Fen thinks he is the most beautiful,” she whispered conspiratorially, “but to me, you are. Always you.”
Something warm and soft bloomed in his chest. Because Fenrys was the handsomest man of them all, or at least, the most conventionally attractive. Yet an admission like that, from Elain, made Azriel’s heart beat faster, and there was a wave of heat that washed over him.
Then, she quickly added, “but don't tell Fen, okay? Promise?”
“Okay, I promise,” he smiled. God he loved it when she touched him. Those little hands on his legs, his feet – they did something to him and made him both lustful and insanely protective over her. Because she was his and he liked her just the way she was; strange and loving and vibrant.
“May I?” he asked, showing her the tube and she nodded.
He squirted a bunch of coconut-scented cream on his hands and then sat behind her, which was probably wise, because his cock kept hardening, especially when she touched him and when he couldn’t tear his eyes from her full cleavage, and those sweet silky soft globes which were gently cradled in the hot pink fabric.
He hesitated for a moment, before touching her immaculate skin with his gnarly, burnt hands which had done unspeakable things, things that she had no idea about. Azriel had killed, and he’d tortured, and he’d fought, and his hands were covered in the blood of his enemies.Truth be told, he wasn’t terribly broken up about the violence that he’d inflicted on others. He was rational, practical and pragmatic–he understood that some people had to die, and he knew that some people had to be punished. There was information that needed to be beaten or cut out of some people, and fists and knives and guns had to be used to resolve issues and disagreements. He did not enjoy killing or maiming, but he also didn’t cry about it. Sometimes, it was his turn to suffer and bleed and he accepted that as well. He’s been shot five times, knifed at least a dozen times, his knuckles were like an elephant’s hide, and more scars peppered his body than he cared to count.
But his sweet flower girl was something else. She was innocent and pure, and not only sexually, which was the least of his concerns, but mostly emotionally…unique in her approach to life, where she always saw magic and light, where she existed without knowing how to play games or how to be malicious. And he wanted that light for himself, wanted to preserve it and bask in its glow, because it was so precious.
“Az, are you gonna do it?” she demanded, jerking her shoulder.
He smiled and couldn't help himself, as he planted his lips on her shoulder and then the back of her neck.
He’d made a mistake once with her. He wasn’t going to do it ever again. Not like that. Because even mild rejection hurt like a bitch. Cut his heart. Destroyed his well-being for almost a week. He couldn’t sleep, barely ate (and it wasn’t because of the chicken nuggets), was so irritable, everyone was attempting to avoid him, and when they couldn’t, they tried to get out of his sight as soon as possible. He might be a scary, violent, brutal dude, but his men liked him, and trusted him and were exceptionally loyal. He didn’t want to break that trust because of his terrible mood and his domestic squabbles with his wife.
“Are you going to lotion me or give kisses?” she demanded.
“I am going to start by giving kisses,” he decided, as he kissed the tender spot behind her ear, and watched her nipples pucker beneath the bathing suit. Slowly, he rubbed his hands over her arms and then began working on her back, while kissing her cheek and her neck, making her gasp softly.
“Am I forgiven?” he murmured in her ear, gently biting the lobe and pulling on her little diamond earring with his teeth.
“I am not sure,” she breathed. “You’ll have to do more,”
“Then I will do more.”
“More good stuff,” she warned.
His hands wrapped around her stomach and he tucked his face into her shoulder, kissing it and promising, “whatever you want. Also, it’s Adonis Belt,” and he bit her neck playfully.
“No it’s not!” she argued and pushed at him, as he laughed, and lathered her belly with the sunscreen. “It doesn’t even make sense because it’s not a belt!” she argued.
He laughed into the warmth of her braid, and then crawled around her, so they were face to face. He grabbed her by the hips and tugged her closer to him, forcing her thighs apart, as she wrapped her legs around his.
“I wanna do you,” she offered, an adorable blush spreading over her cheeks and her neck, and he watched the progression as it flooded her chest.
“I hope so!” he smirked.
She blushed even more and pushed him with her foot, but he caught it in his hands and brushed the sand off the sole, before pressing a kiss to her toes. He drew his hand up and down her smooth thigh, whispering, “just taking care of my girl,”
“Rogue,” she murmured with a smirk, but he knew that she liked the attention, and if her soft moan was anything to go by, she liked his touch even more.
“Give me your hands,” he ordered, and she bit that delicious lower lip of hers and gave him full jazz hands, which made him chuckle. He squirted lotion on them and then moved even closer, so they were just about chest to chest, and he wrapped her thighs around his waist, holding her close. Elain’s soft little hands smoothed over his shoulders first and he almost gritted his teeth as a tidal wave of blood rushed from his brain to his dick. Firstly, he was at a public beach, with kids around, so sporting a massive boner was ungainly and inappropriate. Secondly, he didn’t want Elain to know what sort of insane reaction she caused in him with her closeness. He hasn't gotten his dick wet, well, he didn’t remember when the last time was, if he were being honest, but it’s been a while. And his flower was sweet and ripe and ready for the plucking, if the heady, glorious aroma of her arousal was anything to go by, and those perky nipples straining against the bra. But, she already had the upper hand in everything–he was totally bewitched by her and would do absolutely anything for her. He was fine with that, but he didn’t necessarily want everyone else to know where his great weakness lay. Because Elain was an unexpected and enormous weakness in his armour, and it scared him just how much power she held over his whole being. He already knew that should something happen to her, he’d burn down the world and destroy everything in his path to save her. But if someone decided to use her against him, he’d be powerless, for he would sacrifice everything to make sure that she was alright.
He stroked her thighs, his fingers slowly, but determinedly crawling over her silky skin and towards her tempting ass, until he clasped it in his hands possessively and pushed her even closer to him.
“I am busy, you are messing everything up,” she complained, undeterred by his sensual machinations and his extremely close proximity, though her heartbeat galloped so audibly he could actually hear it, despite the waves of the ocean and the noise around them.
“Kiss me,” he ordered, his voice so low and deep, it sounded crazy even to him. But he couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand not tasting her, not being even closer to her, not touching that wonderful body.
She looked up at him, finally tearing her eyes from his chest, over which she was smearing the lotion now, and the brown eyes blinked, regarding him seriously. And he prayed that she didn’t find him wanting.
Then, unexpectedly, she leaned forward and smacked her lips low on his chest, to the left. He looked down, brow furrowed in confusion, because that’s not what he meant,
“I kissed your heart, Rogue,” she murmured, and kissed it again, in the same spot. “Now the ice is melting around it…I can feel it come alive and beating strongly!”
“So you have,” he instinctively placed his palm on his chest, trying to hold on to her kiss. She smiled at him and then, Azriel couldn’t help himself any longer. He crushed her to his chest, squeezing her so tightly, he figured that he was probably hurting her, but he couldn’t stop. His lips descended upon hers, smashing into her soft, willing mouth and he battered through her meager defences, sweeping his tongue inside and pulling her into his lungs, stealing her moan and her breath. Her arms wrapped around his head, and she gave into the kiss, clinging to him, kissing him with a hungry desperation of days lost. He pulled them down onto the blanket, so the two of them lay on their sides, in each other’s embrace, and he held her close, without breaking the kiss. Her lips were rows of plump cherries, all snuggled together and he couldn’t help but nibble and lick them, losing his very sanity in the process. He grabbed her soft, round ass cheek and thrust his hand under the bikini bottom, pulling her closer to him, his solid cock pushing into the warmth between her thighs, nestling comfortably into her wet pussy. Her hips jerked and she pulled away from his lips for a second, watching him wide eyed, as he gently drove his dick along the seam of her folds, letting her familiarise herself with it. She stroked his face, watching him, as he kneaded her bare flesh, and then went back for another kiss. She tasted of sea brine and strawberry lip gloss and she tasted like…his wife.
For a moment, he wished that theirs would be a normal courting, with dates and gradual falling in love and all the experiences that neither one of them had with each other. And he wished that he could’ve dropped on one knee in front of her and proposed properly–surprising her, making her all flustered and adorably shocked and excited. He supposed that bypassing all of that in favour of actually having her as his wife was worth it, yet still, there was something to be said for the tidings of an ordinary life.
“Well, well, looks like the Mr. and the Mrs. have patched things up!” Fenrys laughed, standing and laughing above them, dripping water all over the place and making Elain shriek.
“You know, it’s a public beach,” Ruhn reminded them, suddenly Mr. Prim and Proper. “You are basically inside of her,” he arched his brow, nodding at Azriel.
“My man,” Azriel groaned, as he released Elain just a smidge, “if you think that this is being inside of someone, it’s been a while since you’ve experience the sensation,”
Fenrys laughed and slapped Ruhn’s back.
“Ruhn here is like 9/10 in looks, and 3/10 in game!”
“Excuse me?” Ruhn whipped his head to the laughing Fen, and threw a fist in his kidney.
“Auu,” Fenrys doubled over, but couldn’t stop laughing. “Hitting me won’t change the fact that you have no game!”
“Fuck off,”
“Snapping your fingers at girls so they rush over and suck your dick isn’t ‘game’ my man,” Fenrys argued.
“Isn’t that the very definition of ‘game’?” Azriel turned on his back and tugged Elain to him, holding her close.
“No, the definition of ‘game’ is having ladies swoon over you. It’s not just pounding into them and leaving them be. That’s why you don’t date,” Fenrys shrugged and began rummaging in a large bag that they brought with them.
Ruhn crossed his tattooed arms on his naked chest and pouted,
“I do date!”
“You have never been on a date.”
Elain was laughing softly at their bickering.
“That’s why,” Fenrys took out a ball from the bag and rolled it between his shoulders and then started bouncing it on his head, “your idea of a date with Ellie was to take her to Subway!”
Elain was laughing, and so was Azriel. Fenrys had a point.
“He also took me to a museum,” she protested, “and that was very nice and romantic,”
“Exactly,” Ruhn waved his arms around.
“Nah, she is just cock blinded,” Fenrys argued. “So she thinks that Subway is an appropriate place to go for a first date,”
“I am absolutely not cock blinded!”
Just then, a few cute young girls in revealing bikinis passed by, giggling and giving both Fenrys and Ruhn very obvious and unrestrained looks of interest.
“See, I can have them,” Ruhn nodded smugly, once the women were out of earshot.
“Yeah, probably,” Fenrys kicked the ball expertly with his feet, like a footballer, before catching it with his shoulder, then his head, bouncing the ball over his back and returning back to his feet.
“Show off,” Azriel muttered, watching Elain watch Fen with amazement.
“But will they come back for more?” Fenrys now bounced the ball on his broad chest, then his abnormally sculpted abs, making all the females in his vicinity pause what they were doing and watch them. “Because, unless that’s all they are looking for, most women don’t just want the D,”
Elain rubbed her foot over Azriel’s ankle, snuggling closer to him, as she watched Fenrys definitely show off, and asked,
“And what do women want, Fen? Have you figured it out?”
“They want to be romanced,” he said simply. “And heard.”
“Hmm,” Elain hum-phed her agreement. Azriel looked down at her briefly and then kissed her hair.
Fenrys positioned the ball on his hip and then asked,
“Alright, babygirl, do you want to play ball? Volleyball? Or do you want to make out with Az?”
“Make out with Az,” Azriel immediately proposed, but Elain sat up and then eagerly exclaimed,
“Yes, I am super athletic, you know, so I think I would be really really good at volleyball!!”
Azriel and Ruhn exchanged looks, because ‘super athletic’ was not how anyone would ever describe Elain. But she was already up and jumping around Fenrys, who raised the ball up in the air and she was attempting to grab it.
Fenrys was laughing loudly at her miserable attempts, while she pushed at him aggressively and then latched onto his neck and literally began climbing him. He still managed not to let her reach the ball, but she kept climbing him, even as he started walking, wrapping his other arm around her.
“Are you coming?” Ruhn asked Azriel, who still lounged on the blanket.
“Nah, I’ll watch the great athlete from here,” he chuckled and Ruhn laughed loudly. Unlike Fenrys, he shared Azriel’s amusement at Elain’s boasting of her non-existent talents.
“So…you all good?” he asked just in case, eyeing Elain, who was riding Fen’s back, still without having gotten to the ball.
Azriel shrugged, “We’ll see. She kissed me and that’s good enough.”
Ruhn jogged towards the other two, snatching the ball away from Fen and causing a cry of outrage from Elain.
*
Azriel leaned on his elbows and watched the three of them.
As expected, Elain was ridiculously terrible at volleyball, and he was sure that she’d never played before. What she lacked in skill though, she certainly compensated in sheer enthusiasm. She totally didn’t care that she was losing the ball or hitting it way off side and often into the ocean, so that both men were drenched, having to go and fetch it from the waves. She yelled and laughed happily, and Azriel was pleased that he was able to offer her this experience. It was Ruhn’s idea and at first Azriel didn’t know if Elain would be interested, or how the whole dynamic would work, but here they were and it seemed to be going well.
Fenrys’s comments from before made him think though.
Elain was his wife, and she satisfied him plenty–and they haven't even had sex yet. He knew deep down that he would never cheat on her and as unglamorous as it was, he was a one woman man. After Morrigan had died, it took him a long time to recover, though truthfully, he didn’t think that he ever would. Following her death, he swore off any long-term, monogamous relationships and only ever had casual flings, too terrified of pulling yet another innocent woman into his net and having her end up dead or maimed because of him.
In the past year, he was mostly fighting off his father’s demand that he marry and solidify an alliance with a powerful family. He was offered many a bride, from every family–Italians, of course, two from the Mexican cartels, the Irish mob, the Russians, the English, and Italian Italians. All were terrible choices and he was so fucking stressed for the past seven months because of these endless negotiations, which were going to directly affect the rest of his personal life, as well as the lives of his brothers, that his sex drive took a nosedive.
And now he was watching his wife, and it was like a dream.
This ethereal, beautiful, remarkable oddity was his–truly his, and he couldn’t believe his luck. Every night he got up and walked to her room, and watched her sleep. He’d sit in the chair by her bed, shivering in the cold night air, but needing to make sure that she was there, and that she was real, and that she was his.
But, he did need to think of his brothers. Both of them had voracious sexual appetites, particularly Fenrys, though Ruhn wasn’t far behind. Right now, Elain was a novelty. She was undiscovered and amazing and a nut to crack. However, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen when the nut did crack. Would they return to their usual ways? And how would it affect the dynamic between the four of them? How would Elain feel if she knew that Fen, her beloved Fen, of whom she couldn't get enough, screwed her, and then went off and fucked someone else?
At least he’d made them all get tested before the wedding, to make sure his virginal wife was protected. Because she sure wouldn’t have been thinking about it, and neither would Fenrys probably, in a rush to claim her. Though he needed to give his brothers credit where it was due–they always wrapped it and were careful.
The ball bounced near him, having sailed allllll the way here from where they were playing it, right by the water. Wow. She really was bad at this!
Ruhn jogged toward their spot, and when he reached Azriel, with a moan he groaned,
“Senza parole!”
At that, Azriel barked a laugh.
“ Perché ?” he asked, though he kind of suspected what the answer would be, since Ruhn was speechless.
“ Non sa giocare !”
Ruhn was correct, she really couldn’t play.
“I don’t know if she’d ever touched a ball?? Let alone played with one,” he was shaking his head in disbelief.
“Well,” Azriel pursed his lips, frowning, “according to Fen, she’s been playing with his.”
“Ugh, Fenrys is as delusional as she is,” Ruhn waved his hand. “I wouldn’t put too much stock in what he says. I mean, she also thinks that she is a great athlete!”
He tossed the ball to Azriel and commanded, “Go, take her for a swim. I am an old man, I’ve been shot 12 times, and I have no energy for the Elain King version of volleyball!”
Azriel was laughing at him, but he got up and ran to Fenrys and Elain.
“You gonna play with us?” she asked excitedly.
“You totally exhausted poor Ruhn, naughty girl!” Azriel scolded her.
“I told you I was really good at volleyball,” she put her hands on her hips and puffed out her chest.
“You are! He is wiped out,” Az took her by the hand and said, “come swim with me,” though just as soon as these words left his mouth, he waited with bated breath to hear her say what an amazing swimmer she was. Because if she did, then he’d know that she’d sink like a rock the moment she stepped into the water. But Elain waded into the ocean and dove right in, and he went after her, to make sure that she was okay. But she bobbed up to the surface and began swimming confidently and Azriel chose not to say anything.
They swam further, beyond the pale of screaming kids and housewives in ugly swimsuits. Elain flipped to her back at last, and spread her arms, soaking up the sun with a smile on her face.
“This is the best day,” she breathed.
Azreil stroked her cheek and then gently kissed her lips.
“What was your favourite day, Az?” she asked, looking at him, her smile wide and bright and content.
He took her in his arms and she wrapped her arms and legs around his body, her breasts pressing into his chest.
“I don’t mind when you call me Rogue,” he winked and she laughed.
Then she kissed him and said, “yeah? Are you a rogue?”
“I sure am, ma’am,” he affirmed, stroking her wonderful behind in his palms.
“Well, then you will be Rogue, when you do something naughty,” she promised, and he fastened his lips to her neck, sucking and kissing until she buckled in his arms and threw her head back, moaning.
“I can be very naughty with you, flower,” he warned.
“Answer the question!” she ordered, while he kissed her along the collarbones, his nose disappearing in the salty water, and he didn’t even care.
“What was a happy day for me?” he repeated thoughtfully, pondering. Recalling unhappy days was much much easier, because he’s had so many of those. But a happy day…
When I met you , he wanted to say. The night when you greeted me in that velvet cobalt dress and my world changed forever.
He didn’t say those things though and instead, shared with her,
“I was a teenager, 16-17 I think. We went to England, with Fen. And I went to see Cream , at the Royal Albert Hall,”
“ Cream ?”
“You know,” he began, but she interrupted him,
“Yeah, Clapton, Ginger Baker,”
“You know Cream ?” that was a surprise.
She winked at him and said, “I know a lot of things,”
“Well, that’s good, because that was probably the best day of my life. Just listening to them, dancing in the aisles…Fucking glorious!”
“I am jealous! I wanna see them too!” she pouted and he smiled, squeezing her chin, “You would’ve been a baby back then. Maybe 9?”
“So what! I never get to do fun stuff,” she winced and sighed.
Azriel wrapped his palms around her head and looked at her, before he asked,
“Flower, tell me, are you on the pill?”
She shrugged and shook her head no.
“No, I am not sick!”
He smiled and pressed his forehead to hers, as they bobbed slowly in the waves.
“It’s not what I meant,” he murmured.
Finally it dawned on her and she blushed, and quickly said,
“Oh…no. No I am not. Should I be?” she asked nervously. “Should I not be? The anti-baby pill,”
He burst out laughing and repeated, “ Anti-baby pill ?”
“Nesta said I wasn’t permitted,” she explained and at that, his brow furrowed and his hazel eyes lost some of their warmth.
“What do you mean she said that?” he demanded.
Elain’s blush deepened, but he kept her close, arms caging her, as he waited for an answer.
“She said I wasn’t allowed to make that decision. That my husband would tell me,”
“What the fuck, Elain?” he growled. “It’s you body,”
She bit her lip and asked,
“Are you mad? Should I be on it?” she stroked his wet hair and said, “don’t be mad. If I have to,”
“No,” he snapped, interrupting her, “it’s not about me , Elain. It’s about us, and it’s our decision,”
She looked at him, uncertainty clouding her chocolate eyes,
“But Nesta said I have to have a baby,”
“How about we fuck Nesta?” he proposed icily. “I don't see how it’s Nesta’s decision?”
“She said I have to give a baby to my husband to solidify the alliance. My father said the same thing,”
“Is that what you want to do?” he inquired, calmer now, though his heart was aching for her. It didn’t seem like she was ever allowed to make an independent decision, without the interference of her sister and father. Forceful interference.
No wonder she lived in her head, in the never-never land of free choice, where she could dance and sing and excel at everything! Where she was an amazing athlete, and a great card player (she wasn’t, and Ruhn vouched for that), where she drove fast cars and had the freedom to simply be, without judgment or expectations.
Timidly, she whispered, “I don’t know.”
“Elain,” he pressed, “it’s a simple question–do you want to have a child right now? With me?”
She stroked the back of his neck with her cold fingers and then answered at last,
“No. I am 24 and I don’t want to have a baby right now. But I want to have a baby with you. But I want to live and experience life and be with you, and them,” she nodded vaguely towards the beach, “and…” she thrust her face into his neck then muttered against his skin, “can I, Azriel? May I?”
He pulled her face away from his shoulder and looked at her,
“Do you forget that you are my queen?”
She shook her head.
“And do queens ask for permission?”
“No,” she said boldly.
“That’s right. Queens rule! What’s the most important piece in chess?”
“The Queen,”
“Exactly! You are the neck and I am the head. Whichever way the neck turns, the head follows. Never forget that, flower.”
“Yes,” she was nodding eagerly, eyes shining.
“We are going to go and get you an IUD, flower, and then we can fuck around for as long as we want, until we are all ready for that baby. And then we are going to make one with love, when we all want it.”
She squeezed him tightly, kissing him wildly, his face, his lips and ears and his hair, blazing with joy and complete happiness.
“Promise me one thing though,” he grinned at her, kissing her hard and bruising her already swollen lips.
“What do you want, Rogue?”
“Rogue wants to request that he no longer eats fish sticks and chicken nuggets!”
Elain smiled, pretended like she was thinking about this and then nodded,
“Okay. But you are on thin ice, buddy.”
They swam back at a slow, leisurely pace.
*
Unsurprisingly, as they approached the beach, Azriel noticed a gaggle of girls who surrounded his brothers. The girls giggled and posed, while Fenrys showed off his ball handling skills, and quite a few eager fingers were skimming over Ruhn’s massive arms and tattoos. The girls wanted attention, clearly splitting in two almost equal groups–those who favoured the brash, bright, blond Englishman with a ball, and those who fell under the charms of the dark and mysterious, handsome gangster type bad boy.
Azriel was pretty sure that they were demanding or offering phone numbers.
Just as his toes hit the soft sand beneath the water and he pulled his wife to him, he was surprised–and pleased–to watch Fenrys, of all people, laugh off another pass from an overly eager female and raise his left hand, pointing to the platinum wedding ring that he now wore. Ruhn followed his example and waved his own finger at them, clad with a black carbon ring, which, ‘shockingly’, he designed himself.
There were disappointed frowns and moans of dejection from the women, but Ruhn opened his arms and shrugged apologetically.
It was Thursday night and Azriel had a plan.
He was pretty sure that it was going to work. And maybe, eventually, it would get him laid.
He had a long and boring day, with no-joking 9 meetings! Truthfully, it was eight meetings too many, but he’d managed, though his mood worsened as the day progressed. Yet, after five, he got his second wind and began plotting. His last ‘meeting’ of the day was in fact in one of their buildings. He took one of the unmarked elevators down, walked through the basement, then down again, and punching in the code, he finally entered Ruhn’s bloody domain.
This is where Ruhn conducted his nefarious deeds–the Dungeon, as he liked to call it–contained a few cinder block rooms, where he made people talk, or punished them. Before Azriel could enter, Ruhn opened the door and greeted him with a satisfied smile.
“Got the info!” he pulled off his black gloves, which were dripping blood and said, “you don’t need to go in there–you’ll mess up your suit.”
“Okie dokie then,” Azriel didn’t argue. “Let’s go to our girl,”
The pitifully moaning man was left behind and forgotten, while Ruhn pulled out his phone eagerly and showed Azriel a photo of a cake.
Almond cake for my boys it said and Ruhn smiled, saying, “pretty girl baked! I fucking love almond cake!”
Azriel chuckled. He wasn’t aware of Ruhn’s particular passion for almond cake, but if ‘pretty girl’ baked it, it was guaranteed to be good. On their way out, Ruhn barked orders to the guys to clean up and deal with the man in the room, and Azriel was glad that his tenth meeting of the day was rather short.
They went upstairs, and while riding in the elevator, Azriel said, “We need Enalius”.
“What do we need that gluttonous chunker for?” Ruhn was barely paying attention, scrolling through his phone, which was filled with photos of Elain, in various states of undress, smiling, as he elbowed Azriel, “look”.
Elain was naked, or looked naked, holding two doughnuts over her breasts, her lips porno-pink and smeared in powdered sugar, which also resembled cum.
“Jesus fuck you two are weird,” Azriel shook his head, looking at the photo, though some part of him was a little envious, because he didn’t get pictures like these from Elain.
They came inside the office building and then Azriel called out,
“Enalius! Come here, big guy!”
“He is not gonna come,” Ruhn shrugged.
“He’ll come,” Azriel rummaged in his pocket and then called out again, “En-nali-us! Come, big boy. I got tuna treats for you! Your favourite!”
Ruhn gasped, grimacing and muttered, “tuna treats smell rank!”
“I am not asking you to eat them,”
They waited for a couple of minutes, until Ruhn pointed to the left and smiled,
“Ohh, ohh, he comin’!”
A portly white cat hurried down the hall, making all kinds of dangerous turns and skidding on the polished terrazzo floors, but he galloped towards tuna treats like a young pony.
Azriel caught him and tucked him under his arm, and fed him a treat for his arrival.
“Yaeh, like he needs more tuna treats!” Ruhn was shaking his head, while Azriel hefted the cat and they strolled to the courtyard and toward the house.
“You know, you can just fuck her,” Ruhn noted calmly. “She is your wife. Wives are supposed to fuck their husbands,”
Azriel bummed a cigarette from his brother and popped it between his lips.
As Ruhn lit it for him, he took a deep drag and then said, “I don’t want to just fuck her.”
“Then what do you want?”
Without glancing his way, Azriel said quietly, “I think I want her to love me”.
*
As soon as Ruhn opened the door, the two of them were faced with loud ruckus, and Elain flying by them, with Fenrys at her heels. He leapt over one of the sofas, trying to cut through the vast sitting room, but she made a Tom Cruise-worthy slide on the floor and rounded the corner of the dining room table. Like a sprinter, Fenrys bounded over a chair and landed belly first on the counter, but Elain screeched and scrambled away from him, escaping the reach of his long arm and screaming ‘Sucker!’
As she raced past Ruhn and Azriel, she yelled, ‘who is that?” pointing to the cat.
Azriel let Enalius jump down on the floor and Elain screamed, “time out! Time out!”
“There are no time outs!” Fenrys lunged at her, but Az stood in his way and Fenrys landed in his embrace.
“What is wrong with you two?” Ruhn moaned.
“Fuck you guys!” Fenrys cried with desperation. “If I was going to catch her, she was going to learn how to give blowies!”
By now, Elain was on the floor, petting Enalius, brushing his luxurious white fur, while huffing with indignation,
“I promised no such thing!”
“You did too!”
“I did not!”
“Did too!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“Liar!”
“You are!”
“No blowies!” she shouted.
“Yes, blowies!”
Azriel ignored them and squatted at Elain’s side, tipping her chin up and then smiling at her,
“How are you, beautiful wife?”
“I am good, husband,” she smiled back and wrapped her arm around his neck, bringing him closer to her. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, flower,” he whispered and lightly touched her lips with his.
Elain kissed him deeper then, wrapping her large soft lips over his and lightly licking him with the tip of her tongue. He parted his lips for her and she slipped her tongue inside, caressing his, sucking gently, her arm tightening around him. Damn right that’s how she should greet him everyday! With Enalius hissing, because he was squashed between the two of them, Azriel wrapped her in his arms tightly and lowered her on the cold marble floor, without breaking the kiss, while he cradled the back of her head in his palm, so she wouldn’t hurt herself. Enalius hissed his annoyance and escaped, running towards his favourite–Fen.
“Come on, fella,” Fenrys scooped the cat and looked at Elain and Azriel who writhed on the floor, lost in their kiss. “They don’t care about your pretty innocent eyes!”
Azriel’s hand travelled under Elain’s skirt and he wrapped her leg around his hip, kissing her ravenously, absolutely giving no fucks that Ruhn and Fen, and Enalius, were right there, and lazily watching them and the show they were putting on.
“Pretty girl, do you want to clean my sword?” Ruhn called out, as he undid his belts and straps, and went to make himself a drink. “Or should I do it?”
Elain tore her mouth from Azriel’s and turned to take a look at the sword,
“Is it bloody?” she demanded, while Az kissed her cheek, slowly migrating down to her neck and lightly sucking a playful mark into her tender skin.
“Very,” Ruhn winked at her and licked his lips.
“Then I will clean it!”
This was Elain’s new favourite task–cleaning and caring for their weapons. As with the cars, she named them all, and had different wiping clothes and polishers for each type of weapon–swords, knives, guns, hammers, bats…
Azriel smiled at his little bloodthirsty wife and then lifted himself off of her and gave her his arm.
“Are we ever gonna eat?” Fenrys was pouting, seated on the sofa, with Enalius lounging in his lap, “or do I just have to watch your makeout sessions?”
“I am sorry, you were just chasing after her, looking for a blowie,” Azriel reminded him, as he took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt. Elain skipped to the bar and poured him a couple of fingers of whiskey, handing the heavy tumbler to him.
“Thanks, love,” he kissed her again.
“I wasn’t even looking for one,” Fenrys kept pouting, having been cruelly thrown off course and having zero chances of receiving the said blowjob. “I was going to teach her,”
“With a banana or your dick in her mouth?” Ruhn smirked, landing on the sofa too, gulping his drink down. He’d washed his hands, but the aura of blood and violence still clung to him.
“Well, not a banana,” Fenrys started, and Azriel interrupted,
“Then you did want a blowjob!”
Fenrys waved him off, while Elain plopped on the sofa next to him and started playing with Enalius.
“Is it my kitty cat?” she asked.
“No, babygirl,” Fenrys handed her the cat. “This is Cassian’s cat. He is obsessed with him. Enalius lives where the guards live, and he needs to go on a diet, because they consistently overfeed him,”
Elain laughed, wondering, “What kind of name is Enalius for a cat anyway?”
“Oh, Cassian reads all kinds of military books, and apparently Enalius was some hero who defended some mountain,”
“Aww, I love it!”
“And Cass is convinced that he is this Enalius’s descendant,”
Ruhn was laughing, adding,
“And he named his furry son after his hero.”
Azriel jogged down the stairs, taking two at a time. He had changed into gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt, and was barefoot.
“Do we eat?” he asked loudly, “or do we have a dance off?”
Elain stilled, wide eyed and demanded, “What dance off?”
Azriel dropped on the floor and did like a dozen pushups for shits and giggles, before announcing, “I am feeling energetic!”
“Clearly,”
“So,” he rose and stretched his arms and shoulders, “I figured we can have a dance off,”
“You are going to lose, Rogue!” she said immediately. “I am a really good dancer!”
A smile twitched in his lips and he agreed, “I know! You are an amazing dancer. That’s why I want to dance for a prize,”
She rushed to him and got on his tiptoes with excitement, bouncing up and down,
“What prize, Rogue? What’s the prize?”
Azriel put his hands on his hips and offered,
“What do you want, if you win?”
She paused the bouncing and stopped to think. She thought and thought, and finally said,
“I wanna go on a job with you!”
“No,” he said immediately.
Ruhn winced, anticipating an argument.
“You said anything !” Elain snapped.
“I didn’t,” Azriel reminded her coolly. “I asked what you wanted?”
“That’s what I want! I want to go on a job!” she pressed.
“Elain,”
“Azriel,”
“It’s not up for debate,” he insisted, while Ruhn was shaking his head behind her.
“Then I am not dancing off, and I don’t care!” she grunted, and turned on her heels, ready to walk away.
Then, Azriel’s heavy hand lay on her shoulder and he squeezed and pulled her back.
“Fine,” he gritted out.
She turned around violently, eyes sparkling, cheeks pink.
“Truly?”
“It’s going to be at my discretion,” he warned. “I’ll decide what the job will be at, but yes, if you win the dance off, then you can go on a job.”
“You are not lying?” she frowned.
“I am a man of my word.”
She squealed loudly and clapped.
“Do I get a gun?” she asked immediately.
“Don’t push it,” he cut her off.
She pouted, but didn’t press her luck.
“What are you going to get if you win? Which you will not !”
“I totally will,” he assured her confidently.
“You will not. I am a great dancer! And there is no way you’ll win!”
“Well, when I do win, you will be going on a date with me.”
She stared at him, slightly confused, but then tsked and said,
“You won’t win, so no date.”
“We’ll see,” he sang lightly.
Elain scratched her head, and asked, “Who is going to judge?”
“Well, certainly not those two,” he jerked his head toward his brothers, who were watching this battle of wills from the sofa, both scratching Enalius’s back. ”One wants a blowjob, and another wants to pound you,”
“Umm, excuse me,” Ruhn protested feebly.
Az ignored him and rubbed his chin, before proposing, “Enalius will judge. Once we are done, he can decide who was better,”
“That’s stupid,” she argued, “Enalius doesn’t understand dancing!”
“He very much does. Trust me. Now, are you up for it?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. Snapping her fingers at the brothers, she ordered, “Make sure that Enalius watches closely.”
“Of course, pretty girl,” Ruhn nodded.
“Choose a song, Fen,” Azriel ordered and Fenrys started looking on his phone, while Az suggested, “clear out and give us some room…When this goes down, it will be,”
“Yeah, hot!” Elain made some kind of a Spice Girls pose, jutting out her leg and lifting her arm.
“Alright Posh Spice!” Fenrys clapped, whistling.
Sofi Tukker’s ‘Best Friend’ came on and Azriel immediately lunged into a handstand, and jumped and twirled, leaving Elain gaping at him with amazement. But then she emerged from her stupor, and hopped on the couch, before sliding unsexily down on the floor and lifting and crossing her legs, and then crawling under the coffee table, swinging her hips to the beat.
Both Ruhn and Fenrys were huddled in the corner, moving to avoid the twirling Azriel, who threw himself on the floor and did a fancy spin on his back, while Elain, not to be left behind, jumped on the coffee table and slipped, almost falling on her ass, but recovered quickly and waving her hands, she whipped her hair dramatically, making sure that no one noticed the fall.
At that time, Azriel claimed the middle of the room and with one elegant jump, he leapt on the vacated coffee table and started rolling his hips, hand on his hips.
She bit her lip and frowned. Shit, he was good!
So she saddled a padded sofa back and proceeded to ride it like a mechanical bull, attempting to roll her hips just as sensually as freakin’ Azriel, but it looked like she was bouncing on a pogo stick instead of doing a sexy hip swirl.
Undaunted, she tried to do a cartwheel, but succeeded in pushing a bunch of books off a side table with her foot, spooking Enalius, who lurched in Fenrys’s embrace and almost jumped out, but Fen held tight, watching Elain roll on the floor as she recovered from her cartwheel. Jumping up, she shook her hips and drew her hand down and between her breasts, going into a dip a little too aggressively, and falling back, but undaunted, she did another roll on the floor, while Azriel went into a full plank, and did some crazy one arm press-ups, before shaking his ass and simulating a full sex act with the rug. That display threw her off her game, and she stared at the gyrating man in front of her, as he displayed spectacular pelvic thrusts.
The song was winding down, so she gave it her all, throwing her legs as high up as a Rockette, as she added YMCA hand signs and full jazz hands to the number. Azriel did an Elvis hip thrust with an arm windmill and then slid the length of the room on his hip, finally coming to a stop and dramatically throwing his head back. She dropped to one knee and stilled in a fancy pose, with her arms outstretched, like an ice skater after a routine.
There was silence in the room for a while, before Ruhn and Fen began applauding.
Elain jumped up and cried, “it was fun! I think I won.”
“Not so fast,” Azriel strode a little too confidently and said, “it’s up to Enalius.”
“Baby,” Fenrys vowed passionately, “if it were up to me, I’d absolutely vote for you!! When you did that thing with the thing…amazing!”
“Yeah,” Azriel drawled, “the thing with the thing was amazing, but it’s not up to you, loverboy. That’s why we have Enalius. Let’s see what he thinks.”
Fen gently sat the cat down and Enalius looked between the two dancers with his piercing blue eyes.
Unbeknownst to Elain, Azriel slipped his fingers into his pocket and took out a piece of tuna treat, dropping his hand casually to his side, letting the cat sniff. Cats were fickle things and even though he and Enalius were old acquaintances, he didn’t really trust the cat’s judgement.
“Come on, Enalius, pick me! I did so good. I danced good,” Elain begged quietly.
“Come on, man, I jumped and swirled for ya,” Azriel reminded him, while Enalius circled them curiously.
Beckoned by the aroma of the dried caked tuna, the cat then made a sharp turn towards Azriel and even put his front paws on Azriel’s legs.
“No!” Elain cried. “Why?!” she was almost in tears. “It’s because he knows you!” she stomped her foot with irritation.
“No, flower, fair and square,” Azriel pulled her to him, tossing the treat to the cat, to get rid of evidence. He kissed her temple and then asked, “is going on a date with me such a bad idea, daling?”
She sighed and shook her head no.
“No, I want to go on a date with you, Rogue. Also you dance really good,” she admitted reluctantly.
He smiled, and kissed her lips.
“You do too, darlin’.”
Sighing, she muttered, “But I want to go on a job too!”
“We’ll see what we can do about that,” Azriel said without committing to anything specific.
*
Three dance-offs later, and a bunch of broken furniture and dishes, because three huge men and a clumsy woman, who all thought that they were amazing dancers, were bound to cause some damage, and Azriel was finally in bed.
Fenrys and Elain crowned themselves winners, though there was no prize, even if Fenrys tried to revive his attempts to win a blowjob tutorial with Elain. She would not budge and would not give him the win.
Azriel stretched in his bed and grabbed his Kindle. He was going to get lost in a book he’s been reading. It was Fen’s fault–as most things were in this house. But Fenrys kept yakking about ‘dark romance’ that ladies apparently were very fond of, and Azriel, who wasn’t having any sex anyway, got sucked into the world of possessive alpha males and the women who loved them. Truthfully, it kinda reminded him of himself a little bit, though he felt that he was much more reasonable than these guys in the books, but sometimes, he got a little twinge of discomfort when things hit a little too close to home. But in any event, he wasn’t like these guys at all. But the sex scenes were hot! Or, as they were called ‘smut’. It shocked him a little bit, of how descriptive they were, and how every move, slurp and slap were described in extreme detail. He had no idea that women wrote like that or enjoyed reading something so pornographic. But, as the stories gripped him, he began realising that it made sense–to have the story and the smut in it, because it made it so much more interesting. So, he sunk into his long book about three English gangsters and a Russian mafia bride that was married to one of them, yet had all 3 pining for her, and one of them reminding him of Fenrys to such a degree, that he kept hearing his English brother’s voice in his head every time the character spoke. Therefore, he didn’t even notice that his bedroom door opened.
It was only when Elain’s voice announced ‘I am going to sleep here tonight’, as if she just stumbled upon his bedroom and decided that it looked good enough for her to sleep in, did he jerk from his book and looked at her. She was wearing her PJs–brown boy shorts and a long sleeved and high-collared pink shirt, which wasn’t remotely sexy, because it covered absolutely everything. She was clutching that pink thing that she slept with, and her own Kindle.
He said nothing, though his heart did some happy little leaps in his chest at her arrival. Ever since she’d kissed him, or rather, his heart, back at the beach, it was as if he could feel it more…like his heart was awake and alive. Like she thawed it.
She walked over to the bed and he opened his arm to her wordlessly, trying to act normal. She slipped under the comforter and he tugged her to him.
“Are you naked?” she asked.
He glanced beneath the sheet and smirked, “Not entirely. But if you’d like me to be more naked, that could be arranged.”
“No, that’s good,” she decided and lay her head on his shoulder.
The pink thing was placed between them, so he had to ask,
“Tell me about this?”
It was a stuffed pink toy, almost the size of a pillow, and some type of a cross between a pig and a rabbit. She never slept without it. Whenever Azriel snuck into her bedroom at night–which was basically every night–Elain was in her usual sleeping disarray, but the pink toy always managed to remain on the bed with her.
“It’s Mwah-Mwah,” she explained, pressing the toy to her chest. “I’ve always had it. I think it’s from my mom, but I don’t remember when I got it.”
“And I take it Mwah-Mwah will be sleeping with us?” Azriel inquired.
“Yes, always,” she nodded and then glanced at him, hoping that he was not going to argue.
“Well, Mwah-Mwah will see some things,” Azriel chuckled. “I hope he is prepared…”
“You gonna love him too?” she confirmed.
Azriel kissed the top of her head and promised to love him too.
She relaxed next to him and powered on her Kindle.
“What are you reading?” Azriel was curious, because he actually had no idea what Elain was interested in. Which only reminded him how much he still had to learn about his new wife.
“A book,”
“Wow, flower. I would’ve never guessed,” he rolled his eyes.
She huffed and then said, blushing lightly,
“Okay, it’s a series I’ve been reading for many years,”
“Romance?”
“Mmm,” she licked her lips. “Kind of. But it’s also fantasy.”
He wouldn't have assumed that Elain was into fantasy, but then, why not? Considering how she was, and how unusually her mind worked, why should he be surprised that she liked reading fantasy?
“It’s the fifth book in the series,” she continued, “and I’ve been waiting for it for years! Because it’s my favourite couple,”
“Who are they?”
“Well, they are Fae. He…he is a warrior and a spymaster, and she was human, but then turned into a Fae against her will.”
“And they are in love?”
Elain nodded,
“Her name is El,”
“Like yours,” he smiled.
“And his name is Riel.”
“So, what’s El and Riel doing now?”
“They are on an adventure! They can’t be together, because she is mated to this other guy,”
“Mated?”
She shrugged, “Like engaged. Promised. But she is in love with Riel and he is in love with her,”
“Ahhh, forbidden romance!” he nodded knowingly. “Is it smutty?”
Elain gasped in surprise and wondered,
“How do you know about smut?”
“Oh, baby, I know all about smut!” he winked at her. “It’s good stuff,”
“You read smut too?” she gaped, half shocked and half impressed.
“I do indeed!” he confessed. “But don’t tell anyone,” he added quickly. Goodness, he wouldn’t hear the end of it…
“Yeah, I won’t,” she promised, “what do you read?” she asked eagerly.
“Oh, I like reverse harem!” he said, colour blooming on his high cheekbones.
“You are a rogue!” she slapped his arm, giggling conspiratorially. “I like it too. A lot.”
“Well,” he lowered his face to hers and kissed her lightly, whispering against her lips, “when you get to the smutty parts and your El-riel get going in the bedroom, maybe we could read those parts together?”
“And act them out?” she gasped.
“Now you are thinking, sweetheart. Now you are thinking!”
** Mwah-Mwah has been inspired by this amazing cartoon by crtifiedlover on Insta which I absolutely adore :) Hopefully, I even got Elain’s PJ’s correctly.
#the kings wife#chapter 7#goldilocks#my writing#elriel#elriel fanfic#elriel fanfiction#elain and azriel#elain and ruhn#ruhn danaan#elain and fenrys#fenrys moonbeam#dark romance#reverse harem#elain archeron#tog and acotar and hosab#sjm books crossover#sjm books
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So @johermione and @stellaluna33 have been having this really cool discussion about comparing Jess Mariano with Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, and they got into the topic of Loki/e, the Norse god most famously depicted in the MCU. And while I’m not an MCU fan (I’m not anti MCU, but I’m not exactly fond of their depiction of Norse mythology either.... that’s not the point though), I do want to throw in my two cents about comparing Jess to Loke from Norse mythology!
(Quick disclaimer before I start: there is very little written records from the time of exactly what Scandinavians believed in during the Viking age and how they practiced their belief. Like, astoundingly little (oral culture over written yada yada it’s a long story). And the little we do have isn’t 100% reliable either (just look at any historian debating about the validity of Snorre Sturlason’s works... or which gods are actually just aliases of each others and which aren’t) So take everything I say and every interpretation I make with a huge grain of salt... also! I’m writing anything from Norse mythology and poor Snorre’s name in modern Norwegian-ish spelling because I’m lazy :P)
For those who need a refresher, Loke is a god from Norse mythology whose alliances are sort of flimsy. He is of Jotunætt (aka of the Jotuns) but considered to be part of the Æsegods. He can be defined as a trickster god who often gets the other gods in trouble, but also helps them out a lot (except for when he doesn’t). He’s a shapeshifter who can switch species and gender, and has both fathered and mothered various creatures and gods (Sleipnir, Hel, Fenris, the Midgardsorm). He tends to cause the other gods a lot of grief (like when he cut Siv’s hair against her wishes) and even crashes a party once to offend every god he can until Tor threatens him away, but what finally severs his ties to the gods is the death of Balder (long story short he tricks Balder’s blind brother Hod into shooting Balder with an arrow that kills him. When Hel only agrees to let Balder return to Åsgard on the condition that every living being weeps for him, Loke shapeshifts into an old crone and refuses to cry). He flees for a while, is then captured, and in Ragnarok he’s going to lead the army against the gods only to die in combat with Heimdall.
Now one important thing I have to explain that is crucial to understanding both the mythology and this meta about a Gilmore Girls character, is that Norse Mythology doesn’t really operate on black and white morality. The Jotner are not inherently evil, but rather foils to the gods and competition. If the gods represent order the Jotner are chaos. But the two main groups are also tightly connected, both narratively and literally. Several gods, like Loke and possibly Tor (info on Fjorgyn/Jord is scarce), are related to Jotner or at least part Jotun themselves. Frøy, god of autumn, prosperity and fertility, marries a Jotun woman. And many of the male Jotner desire his sister Frøya. It’s also worth noting that the gods and Jotner have different factions within themselves and are also just some of several species. For example, the gods themselves are split at least between the Æsegods and the Vanegods, who actually fight for ages until the Æsegods win, and Vanegods like Frøy, Frøya and Njord are taken into the clan. Basically, all of this needs to be said so that you understand that just because Loke ends up on the side against the gods, doesn’t mean he is pure evil. And the gods aren’t secret villains either. To quote Rachel Bloom: “The situation is a lot more nuanced than that.”
So what does any of this have to do with a 2000s romcom tv character? Not a lot actually. I think it’s fair to say that there’s little point in speculating whether Loke would see himself in Jess Mariano. He’s a literal god, he has other things to deal with, and also I don’t think I have the gall to assume what he would think or feel. But that doesn’t mean Jess wouldn’t see himself in Loke. So hear me out:
When Jess arrives to Stars Hollow, he’s instantly branded as an outsider and a threat. The townies don’t like him, his motivations are constantly questioned, and every f**k up he makes is held over his head like a proof of his deviousness. And hell, why try to be anything else? He’s a crafty kid, and he’s never been one for order anyway. So why not put a chalkboard outline of a dead body outside Taylor’s market? Why not steal the school’s 500 baseballs? Why not rile up that cute girl’s boyfriend just to see how much steam he can get out of those ears?
Now imagine this Jess, teenage dirtbag Jess, coming across an English translation of the Prose Edda or the Poetic Edda. Imagine that boy reading these stories, of gods who fight and love and make stupid bets and dress up as the opposite gender to get their hammer back and are just generally pretty messy and entertaining but also dark and violent. Who would that boy relate to? The thunder god with a loving wife, magical tools and his very own hall? The golden boy son of rulers, described as sweet and kind and fragile and loved and mourned by almost every creature in existence? The symbol of fertility and success, the very essence of desire, a ruler of his own realm and a man of peace?
Or does he relate to the asshole outsider who always gets people into trouble, never gets credit for fixing things, and is kind of creative as f**k?
Jess might not relate to Loke as a diety, but he sure as hell might feel like people have cast him in the role of Loke. And narratively it does check out. Jess did screw up and end up having to patch things up (the car crash, the love triangle, Luke drama). His efforts to improve are initially dismissed or treated like the least he could do, and one day he does the thing that is just a step too far. Obviously not as far as killing another person and refusing to revive them when given the chance, but far enough in this human small town life to destroy his ties to Rory, Luke and Stars Hollow. His existence also has this lingering effect on the narrative that mirrors Loke. As mentioned, Loke parents a lot of creatures, and while some (Sleipnir) serve the gods well, most of them become future enemies in some way. Hel refuses to let Balder go and rules what is considered the ‘crappy’ place for dead people, Fenris is prophesised to kill Odin in Ragnarok (a fate that is sealed when Odin decides to chain down Fenris) and the Midgardsorm is- like, the Midgardsorm. It’s a giant snake swimming around Earth eating anyone who goes over the edge and has to be defeated by Tor in Ragnarok. And again, obviously Jess’ actions don’t have nearly as colossal consequences as this, but he does become this ghost to the season 4 narrative with what he did in season 3 and his current absence. He becomes this unnamed boogeyman who haunts Rory’s romantic narrative and reminds Luke of his failings, and every time he does show up he leaves things even messier than he found them.
But just like the mythology Loke belongs to, Jess’ situations are a lot more nuanced than that. Obviously he’s not the only one causing trouble (two good examples of this in the mythology are the bet in Gylvaginning and the chaining of Fenris); there’s also Dean and Lorelai and Rory and Luke as well as many others. And what’s important to know about Jess is that he’s not a villain, he’s a teenager. A teenager who might not be part Jotne, but does come from a troubled background. Who isn’t a shapeshifter, but is a bit of a modern day trickster anyway. Who might not have intentionally betrayed his friends and murdered a beloved God, but did cut off his loved ones and consciously antagonise several people of a small town. But where Loke would eventually become the leader of the enemy, trapped in a fate written long before it began, Jess got to grow up. Make amends. Live his life. Be an actual human being because that is what he was. Not a myth.
#so this got sort of sappy at the end but I hope you liked it!#so yeah in conclusion Loke is not Jess but Jess is Loke#does that make sense? Oh well it does in my head#also it's so nice to finally get to gush a little about Norse mythology#I've considered doing it before but it's always been as some angry rant response to a new adaptation#and I just don't have the energy for those discourse spaces#Gilmore Girls is my safe discourse space#also RIP to Snorre sorry I butchered your spelling baby I grew up with the modern Norwegian translations#the potato rants#jess mariano#jess mariano meta#gilmore girls meta#gilmore girls discourse#loke#should I even tag him??
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Masterlist
~ Your own library of Fenris’s writing ~
... and guides, writing updates, and rules link, for your convenience ~
*Ask box is currently closed, please see rules list (linked below) for more details.
Last Updated Feb. 10th, 2022.
I write for Eldarya only, so all of this is for Eldarya.
Have a request? Wonderful! Please read the rules before asking - you’ll also find the link to the ask box in the rules post, as well as a lot of other important information regarding requests.
Ask Key: Most of these are ANE, anything starred (*) means it’s in Origins. If it’s in Origins it’s usually stated alongside the link as well. Warnings will be stated alongside the link if necessary. The term “WIP” means “work in progress”. Some asks are listed here for updates on how the writing is going so people know what I’m working on and how their ask is going (if they see their request on the list). If I use the term “review” and/or “edit”, it means it’s likely completed and I’m doing final revisions before posting. If I write “Draft” next to a listing it means it’s been put in my drafts folder but isn’t yet being written. I’ve acknowledged this ask’s existence and I will begin to think about it, but I haven’t started to write it (it would be a WIP if I was writing it).
To simplify my terminology because I may have been confusing in my writing above: an ask will be sent into my ask box. Eventually I’ll add it into my drafts folder where I will list it on this Masterlist and label it as “Draft”. Eventually I will begin to work on it, and this list will be updated to show “WIP” next to the listing to show that I’m working on it. When I’m done writing it, it will be under review for a few days, and the update here will say “Review” or “Edit”. When I post the ask, I will link it here and it won’t have any specific update - it’ll just have the underline that shows there’s a link to the completed request.
~ Lance ~
My re-write of 2021 Lance Valentine’s Event
General Headcanons (3 normal, 3 romantic)
Lance with a very motherly s/o
Lance in a relationship with Guardienne with autism
*Ask requesting my theory on how Lance discovered the Guard was hunting down dragons (Origins)
Lance with Guardienne who is a dragon
Lance angry in a New Era - what would anger him
Lance with a really touchy Guardienne? (Some NSFW)
Lance’s reaction to the first hug Gardienne gives him
(Not exactly an ask, mainly a tiny hc) Lance has a mating season "clock"
Lance’s reaction when he realizes he’s falling in love with Gardienne
Guardienne and Lance's relationship when they're a couple AND part 2 to this ask (Very minor, mostly non-descriptive NSFW in the second)
(More of a theory than an ask) “Do you think Lance has mommy issues?”
(OC ask) Scenario/headcanon for human OC s/o and lance
Gardienne and Lance first kiss
Lance with a sapiosexual partner/s.o
Lance’s first time with Guardienne (Major NSFW)
Lance’s reaction to Guardienne having a nightmare
*Lance’s P.O.V. (point of view) during episode 26 (Origins)
*Guardienne joins Lance against the guard (Origins)
Lance with an s/o who doesn’t like PDA (public displays of affection)
NSFW headcanons for Lance (Major NSFW if you couldn’t tell lol)
Lance dating a virgin s/o (Very vague NSFW)
2-part ask - Lance taking care of Gardienne with a fever that makes her delirious AND (seperately) where she has difficulty moving
Lance and Guardienne’s first date
Lance’s reaction to Guardienne’s suicide (Major depressive themes)
Lance’s first impression of Mathieu
Lance + begging + bondage NSFW (Major NSFW)
Lance’s reaction when he finds out Guardienne is awake (Quite a bit of swearing at first)
Romantic headcanons
Dragon headcanons
*(WIP) Lance NSFW (Origins) (Major NSFW) (3 week save)
Huang Hua’s observations as Lance falls in love with Guardienne
(Draft) Lance with a plus size s/o
~ Leiftan ~
*Leiftan with an s/o who's ok / amazed with him being a daemon (Origins)
*Leiftan with an s/o who doesn’t feel pain (Origins)
Leiftan dating a virgin s/o (Very vague NSFW)
~ Nevra ~
Nevra dating a virgin s/o (Very vague NSFW)
(Draft) (OC request) Special OC request
~ Valkyon ~
(Theory) “How do you think Valkyon and Gardienne relationship would be in ANE? if Valky were alive”
~ Huang Hua~
Huang Hua’s observations as Lance falls in love with Guardienne
~ Lance Episode Guides ~
Episode 4 ANE
Episode 5 ANE
Episode 6 ANE
Episode 7 ANE
Episode 8 ANE
Episode 9 ANE
Episode 10 ANE (episode released but I don’t have a guide yet)
Episode 11 ANE (episode not yet released)
I might list my general Eldarya theories as well, but maybe not. I’ll see what I feel like doing in the future (if people would like me to add my theories to this list, however, I’m fine with doing that).
This is a link for info on my OC, Fenris, and her semi-AU in Origins for anyone who is interested to know. If anyone would like to request specific scenarios with these two (or request for me to write them in general) go ahead and ask!
Currently working on a masterlist for excerpts of Fenris (OC) and Lance. When it’s finished I’ll link it here.
#eldarya#eldarya ane#eldarya origins#eldarya lance#eldarya leiftan#eldarya nevra#eldarya valkyon#eldarya guides#masterlist#askfenris#fenristheorem writing
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